#sorry.. I’m sure the person is a fine individual but like

[jrwiyuri]

People are so wrong and so proud of it

[waitingonher]

NIGHTS LIKE THESE — [hoo boys drabbles]

summary: how they react to your bad dreams.

author's note: i wrote leo's + jason's part imagining that the cabins/barracks have individual rooms sooo...also ik this trope is so ran through in the pjo fandom but it's just toooo good i couldn't help myself

percy jackson

percy has always been the type of person to pick up the phone no matter the time. even as he’s on a lone movie marathon and the scene reaches its long-anticipated climax, he’s reaching for his buzzing phone that’s lost beneath the sheets. having found it after the third ring, percy checks the time and the caller id. why are you calling him so late? he answers, “hi babe. i thought you had to wake up early this morning, why are you awake?” 

“hi percy,” your voice was shaky and congested, as if you’d been crying. percy immediately sits up, alarmed at the state of your voice, “did i wake you up?” 

“no, no, i was up watching movies. what’s wrong? is everything okay?” he’s seated at the edge of his bed now, anxiously awaiting your response. 

you force him to sit in silence as you think of an excuse, “yeah, um…i’m okay. i just wanted to hear your voice. but i’ll see you on thursday, okay? goodni-” 

“(y/n), what’s going on?” percy runs a hand through his hair as he heads out of his room to his kitchen. he rips off a napkin from the roll and snatches a pen from the drawer. on the napkin, he writes a brief message to sally, saying that he’d be over at your place and not to worry. 

“nothing. i’m fine, percy,” you mutter. but your boyfriend knows you too well. the way your voice quivers makes it sound as though you were trying to convince yourself that everything was okay, and you were failing miserably. 

percy places his phone between his ear and shoulder as he ties his shoes, “don’t leave me in the dark, (y/n).” 

“don’t worry about me. i’m fine it was just-” 

“babe, i’m coming over, okay?” and with that, percy hangs up. 

he’s walked this path over a hundred times, usually for dropping you off after dates or simply for hanging out with you. but this time, all percy can think about is how you sounded over the phone and that he needs to seriously pick up the pace. 

upon arrival, percy climbs up the fire escape ladder as quickly and quietly as possible. it’s only now that he’s grateful for his experience from all of those laborious quests. reaching your floor, he knocks delicately on the glass. 

“percy, what are you doing here?” you ask after he closes your window, “i’m sorry, you really didn’t need to come all this way. it’s like three in the morning and you-” 

your boyfriend silences you with a gentle kiss, “i’m okay. it’s you i’m worried about. what’s wrong?” 

“it was just a dream.” 

“just a dream?”

“yes, it was just a stupid dream.” 

percy grabs your shoulders, forcing you to look at him, “(y/n), you’re one of the strongest people i know. so if you were crying over it, then it really must be something.” 

you slump on your bed, and percy joins beside you. it's no use hiding it from percy, so with a sigh, you confess, “well, you’re here now. but it just felt so real,” your eyes begin to prick with tears again, “you were laying on the floor…and there was just so much blood, and i tried to stop it—i really did try—but it just kept coming and there was nothing else i could do.” 

honestly, percy didn’t know what to say. but he did know that if your dream was anything like the ones he had about you, they were emotionally and physically crushing. so, he decides that if he can’t say anything, he’d rather show you. percy gently guides your body, until the both of you are laying down. with a strong arm wrapped around your figure and the other rubbing slow circles on your back, he can only hope you understand the message he’s trying to convey. 

“i’m here, (y/n). everything’s going to be okay,” percy continues to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. slowly but surely, your crying mellows into only soft sniffles. 

as you lay on his chest, you can feel the rise and fall of his breathing body. it wasn’t at all like that dream of yours; his cold body eerily still on the floor. not at all like that. you allow yourself to slowly drift off with the rise and fall of his chest, strangely as if it were its own lullaby, “thank you, percy,” you manage to whisper. 

“i love you, (y/n). i’m not leaving you, ever. i promise,” percy whispers back. 

leo valdez

leo’s used to waking up several times in the middle of the night. considering the demigod dreams, he hasn’t remembered the last time he’s gotten a full night's rest, which is why he’s not surprised to be awake at the crisp hour of two a.m. he can’t even remember the dream this time, but leo bets it was another dream foreseeing his imminent death or the end of the world. 

as he stares at the pipes and wires running along the ceiling of bunker 9, a familiar ringtone sounds from his phone. leo quickly wipes the sleep from his eyes and picks up the phone from his nightstand, “(y/n)? are you okay? it’s so late.” 

there’s a silence, followed up by quiet sniffles. were you crying? “hi leo, i’m sorry i probably woke you up didn’t i? go back to sleep, i was-” 

“no i was already awake, what’s wrong?” the moment your boyfriend noticed your shaky voice, his attitude completely changed. suddenly awake and full of energy, he tears off his blanket and reaches for his hoodie and shoes.

considering the fact that you never really call so late alarms him. you calling either meant that you had a nightmare or you were hurt…and leo prayed it was the dream. 

“i’m sorry…” you take a deep breath, “i just had a bad dream, like one of those dreams, you know?” leo knows all too well what you’re talking about, and if it’s anything close to the dreams he has, he can only imagine what you’re feeling, “but i swear i’m okay now. i’ll see you later?” 

but leo’s already out the door as you finish your explanation, “i’m coming over, stay there.” 

“wait leo-” 

he hung up. 

the trek through the forest was usually something one would avoid, especially at this hour, but leo couldn't give less of a shit as he thinks about you crying in your room. a few minutes later after practically sprinting to your cabin, he arrives. locating the window to your room was easy, he’d done this several times before for your sleepovers. leo knocks as quietly as he can on the glass, hoping he doesn’t disturb any of your other siblings. 

surprised, you pull your curtain aside and are face to face with none other than your boyfriend. he looks sweaty and out of breath. leo ran all this way? pushing your question to the side, you rush to open the window and let him in. 

for the first time, leo really gets a good look at you. your eyes are red and puffy; you look at him with such desperation and he can’t help but pull you into a rib-cracking hug. 

“you actually came.” 

“what? of course i did, (y/n),” he takes your face into his hands, rubbing soft circles on each cheek. suddenly, tears begin to flow freely down your face. was it something he said? was he not supposed to come? 

you pick up on his confusion, “i’m sorry, i’m just…glad you’re alive,” leo sits you on your bed, and continues to wipe away the tears, his concern growing with each passing second. your boyfriend urges you to go on, “it’s just the same thing every night. i’m at your grave on the hill, and i’m all alone and it’s raining and i just-” 

“(y/n), breathe,” leo pulls you into his chest once more. he holds you so impossibly tight, ensuring that you know he’s there and he doesn’t plan to ever leave. his sacrifice during the final battle against gaia will forever be amongst one of leo’s biggest regrets. not because he had saved the world, but because of how hard it impacted you. without a doubt, you could easily say that those months where leo was gone were the hardest times of your life. and not a day goes by where leo thinks he can ever forgive himself for it, “i’m here. i’m alive.” 

you nod, your sobs turning into quiet hiccups. leo moves the two of you guys to be laying down, and as final reassurance, he gently guides your hand under his hoodie, allowing you to feel his steady heartbeat. your boyfriend’s skin is warm to the touch and you count his heartbeat…one…two…three. and that was proof enough, “you’re alive.” 

“i am,” leo soothes. he places a gentle kiss atop your head and pulls the covers over your bodies. his arms wrap tightly around your figure, holding you close, “sleep, (y/n). i’ll be here in the morning.”

jason grace

it’s late nights like these that jason has slowly come to appreciate. these scarce nights where he’s completed his praetor duties for the night and he allows himself to indulge in some self-care, which usually consists of a cup of hot herbal tea and a good book. 

usually, jason prefers historical books, oftentimes concerning roman myths or the occasional diary of some war general. what can he say? he likes to be all-knowing when it comes to these things. but this time, as he’s curled up in his bed, he reaches for the book that you had recommended to him: a classic romance novel. jason laughs to himself as he recalls you teasing him about his taste in literature. if he remembers correctly, you called him a “history-loving freak?” 

just as jason’s about to open the book, an unexpected ringing sounds from his phone. he huffs, momentarily disapointed. that is, until he sees who’s calling, “(y/n)? hi, are you okay?” 

“oh, hi,” jason noticed the way your voice sounded off, like you’d been crying, “i didn’t think you’d actually answer.” 

confused, he puts the book back on his nightstand, “of course i would, my love. what’s going on? you sound like you’ve been crying.” 

“no, everything’s okay i just…” you pause, “had a bad dream, so i wanted to listen to your voicemail.”

jason’s heart squeezes at the thought of you going so far as to listen to his own ten second voicemail as a method of comfort. but the feeling goes away just as quickly as it came upon hearing you had a nightmare, “oh i’m sorry, my love. do you want me to come over?” 

“no,” you reply, “it’s okay. i’m better now that i’ve heard your voice. you can go back to bed, jason.” 

despite you declining his offer, jason’s already up and putting his shoes on, “i’ll be there in a few, okay? i love you,” and he hangs up. 

within a handful of minutes, jason reaches your cohort’s barracks. the square windows look impossibly similar, but it’s all thanks to practice that he recognizes yours. even as praetor, he still has to enforce the rules and sneak around. with a quiet knock on your window, he waits in the dark for you. 

“you’re here. you’re alive, jason,” is all you can muster up as your boyfriend stands tall inside your room. his expression is clearly written with worry as he closes the gap between you with a hug. as hard as you tried to fight it, the tears came again in a fresh wave. 

“yeah, i’m here, (y/n). i’m not leaving,” he replies, concern laced in his words. jason notices your tears and gently wipes them away, “c’mere, tell me about your dream,” he beckons, guiding you towards the bed. with a gentle plop, he settles down and opens his arms, inviting you to join him.

settling against jason’s chest, you take a shaky breath as he places kisses on your temple, “i was at your funeral, and you looked so peaceful, like you were sleeping. i just can’t stop thinking about how you looked asleep. and then they expected me to, you know, give a speech in front of the entire camp about you, and i just…i can’t imagine a world without you, so please, you can’t leave me like that.” 

“woah, woah, (y/n) i’m okay, breathe,” jason hushes you, rubbing soft circles on your arm. to be frank, he’s pretty shocked about what you had just said. he can’t get over how shaken up you are by this. but jason can’t even blame you, because if it were him who had the dream, he bets he would also be like this, “i’m here and i have no plan of ever leaving, okay? i’m afraid you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life,” he jokes, hoping to get at least a smile from you. 

jason’s joke succeeds as he feels your body shake with a quiet giggle, “good. i wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

your boyfriend checks your face once more, ensuring that you’ve stopped crying. seeing that you have, he places delicate kisses on each cheek, “hey, how about we go to sleep now? i’ll read you that book,” jason motions to the book on your nightstand, which happens to be the same one you recommended him. 

you nod tiredly, “only if you do different voices for each character.” 

“of course, only for you,” jason quips. 

after adjusting your bodies, jason reaches for the book and opens it to chapter one. but before he begins, he pulls the covers completely over your body and places a chaste kiss on your forehead, “i love you so much, (y/n). and i hope you know that i’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

[yenqa]

OH! MY MISTAKE | where you can’t for the life of you, remember to call kozume by his first name.

♫ — currently playing... april

warnings – an ankle injury (briefly went over), lmk if theres more!

pairing – kenma x gn!reader

wordcount – 1094

a/n – hi guys !! hope u enjoyy lmk if u do! also this is mot proofread so sorry if its wordy or theres any typos!

kenma isn’t the kind to make many mistakes.

there are times where he’s bound to make mistakes, like when he’s out of breath and messes up his sets a little, or when he’s been playing a game for too long and too many people are talking and the pixels are moving too fast for his brain.

those are the times where he can make the excuse if that he’s too tired. but even then, he still realizes his mistake.

when you first meet him he can tell you’re the shy type. he’s not stupid after all.

he can see you fidget with anything you can latch you hands on as you're introducing yourself to the team individually.

coach nekomata has that same happy smile that he always displays. he can see you constantly look back at him for reassurance.

when you finally approach him he skips to the most important part. he doesn’t care for the formalities, and he is sure you don't care about the wellbeing of every single person on the team.

“you can just call me by my first name, kenma.”

you were taken aback by his abruptness, you hadn’t even had the opportunity to bow before he introduced himself. his face remained a monotone look, it didn’t seem like he cared for you at all.

“oh—okay! what’s your last name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

he is simply oblivious to you, so he says, “it’s kozume, but i don’t like when people call me it. so kenma is fine with me.”

“it’s nice to meet you, kenma-san. it’s an honor to be the manager this year!” you salute to him, he can sense that every bone of your body is tense, and you’re too nervous for your own good.

“it’s nice meeting you,” he pauses, then adds,”don’t take this position too seriously, you’re new, it’s okay to make mistakes and not know things.”

he figures you’re the type to need reassurance on matters like that, he almost adds that you can come to him for help, but it might’ve come off in a different way. which was the opposite of what he wanted.

a warm smile blesses your face as you nod vigorously, barely getting out a “thank you!” before he walks away.

a small smile adorns his face when he turns around while he’s so blissfully unaware of his fatal mistake.

it’s at the next practice when he first notices it.

he’s out of the locker room first as usual. sliding down the wall, he sits down a foot away from you. you’re focused on something that he isn’t sure what.

you shift in your position, quickly casting a look at him before whipping your head back.

he sees you scribbling hard on the paper, then erasing it even harder. it’s when you let out a sigh when he decides to step in.

“are you okay, y/n? do you need help with anything?”

he usually wouldn’t help anyone else, but you’re next to him already, he tells himself.

“oh! hi kozume-san! no i’m okay—just finishing this sudoku puzzle my friend gave me!”

“i told you to call me kenma, i don’t like formalities like that.”

you can feel your cheeks heating up, as you awkwared cover them with your hand you exclaim, “i’m so sorry kozu-kenma! i’ll call you that from now on!”

“it’s okay y/n. just don’t forget next time, okay?”

you agree immediately, and it works for the next couple of hours. until he makes another mistake.

he’s on the floor before he knows it, he can hear the ball slam on the floor, but he can’t ignore the throbbing pain shooting through his body.

his ankle seems to look fine, but he knows he landed wrong after jumping for the ball. he takes his ankle and massages it, it doesn’t do much but he continues to do it anyways.

he can hear a group of footsteps run to him, but his vision seems to be tunneled.

throughout the many voices he can hear yours, loud and clear. “kozume! are you okay?”

he looks up at you, “kenma.”

the team all looks at him in confusion, a few mutters of people calling him delirious.

but you, you immediately get it, your cheeks turn a slight pink shade as you offer him a helping hand.

“sorry kenma! i’ll take you to the nurse now.” he gladly takes your hand. wanting to feel the softness of it forever, but you let go once he’s up.

everyone watches as he wraps his arm around your shoulder and limps to the door, once you’re at it you look back and yell. “me and kozume-san will be back soon! so keep practicing everyone!”

it’s been four months, but still you can’t seem to get over your habit.

many things have changed over the past few months, one being that you and kenma have been dating for two of those months.

though that habit seemed to stick with you even as time went on.

“kozume!” you exclaim, wrapping your arms around him.

a small chuckle escapes his lips, he wraps his arms around you. “you’re still forgetting to call me kenma, y/n.”

“old habits die hard,” you giggle, “oh! also—you’re late for practice! tetsurou was spamming your phone with calls, did you forget?”

over time, you’ve grown much more comfortable with him, as he had with you. even though at the time his ankle seemed to be the worse thing that ever happened to him, it also happened to be the catalyst of your relationship.

he’s grateful for landing wrong fore without that small flap of a butterflies wing, he wouldn’t have memorized the shape of your lips, or the sound of your laugh, or the small moles adorning your face.

“wait—tetsurou?”

you let out a breathy laugh, “yeah he told me to call him by his first name! you don’t mind, do you?”

“you remembered to say his first name but not mine?”

“kodzu-ken i mean. i think kozume is cute! it rolls off the tongue better. i’m sorry!” you raise your hands in defeat, but he’s already walking ahead of you to practice.

you chase after him, “kodzu—kenma wait!”

planting a kiss on his cheek, you take his hand, skipping happily to practice dragging him behind.

“kozume skip with me!”

“i’m not doing that.”

kenma hates the formality of when someone calls him kozume instead of kenma, but with the way his name sounds when you say it, he can’t find it in himself to mind.

yenqa © do not copy, steal or translate.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Maybe I’m projecting with this bc of a very scary close call I experienced recently but I just know that COD men would keep their partner safe

John Price, who is traditional not in the nasty toxic ways, but in the manner that he would always walk you home after a date, even if it hadn’t gone well or had been awkward, or maybe something had gone wrong. He would drive you home if he could, because he’s not letting anyone try to snatch you in the streets under the cover of dark. You aren’t comfortable with him taking you home or sharing your address with him? That’s fine, you can call an Uber, just make sure to use the number he gave you to text and assure him that you made it home safe.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, who is a gentleman in every way, and would give the nastiest looks to any man who even tried to get a bit too close. No, it’s not because he’s jealous or possessive, he knows you’re your own person and he loves your individuality, he just wants to keep you safe. Will bare his teeth at any man who makes your muscles tense even just slightly. Yes, he will call them out in broad daylight, or keep a hand on his gun and the other near you during the night. You aren’t getting hurt on his watch.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish, who’s mother and all of his sisters, nieces, and girl cousins taught him just how scary men could unknowingly or purposefully be to women. He would try to keep the mood light, joking and just pulling a bit of laughter out of you at first so he didn’t have to see that glimmer of fear. But if you still felt unsafe with whatever man was lurking or following? He’ll start barking Scottish gibberish that sounds like curses at the person furiously, using the voice he equips when chewing out rookies, one that deters anyone, only to give you puppy eyes after and ask if you’re alright.

Simon “Ghost” Riley, who’s seen his mother be intimidated by his abusive father, watched her get screamed at, beaten, cussed at, and treated terribly almost his entire life before her death. He does not want to see you be intimidated by any man if he can help it. He is a creepy-man deterrent on his own, height and muscle mass usually warding off anyone stupid enough to trail you. But for anyone more persistent? He will stop dead in the street and look straight at them. Once they see the gleam in his big, brown eyes guaranteeing murder and the gun he holds in his hand, your hand in his other hand, they’ll leave the both of you alone for sure.

Gary “Roach” Sanderson, who, despite his mute and mildly anxious nature, will puff his chest out and glare at anyone making you uncomfortable. Will flip them off and pull out a bottle of bear spray, probably shaking the container while looking them dead in the eye. Will not take any bullshit from creepy men trying to scare you, or trying to snatch you.

König, who is an asset on his own, over 6 feet of pure thick muscle and a thin layer of fat. He can get a bit anxious in public like Roach, but if anyone’s making his Schatz uncomfortable? He will kick his German into full gear, harsh voice barking out curses loudly and intimidatingly at the perpetrator who would quickly get the lesson and leave quickly, only to turn back to you and ask if you’re alright, and tell you that he’s sorry if he scared you in the softest, gentlest voice as if he was talking to a little kitten.

[themultifanshipper]

You hadn’t seen Oscar in years. Not since the two of you broke up back in 2018. Now it was 2027 and he was holding his hand out to you expectantly, as half the MTC stared at the two of you.

Warnings: Zak Brown, driver!reader, reader is friends with Carlos Sainz², jealous Oscar, Oscar is a real prick in this one, hate sex, rough sex, ROUGH sex, I’m not kidding with this one guys it’s angry rough bordering on noncon painful hate sex, like choking almost to the point of passing out, having no regard for the other person’s comfort/safety, overstimulation, pure unbridled animalistic rage in this one guys, beware, also not a happy ending

Ngl, I wrote the first half of this months ago and it was supposed to be super light-hearted, then the angst overtook my brain last night at 3am so… just beware

He was moving to formula Renault, you were bored of single seaters.

You wanted to explore rallying, he wanted to explore his teammates.

You know, the usual things 17 year olds want to do.

The breakup was mutual, sure, but what it lacked was closure. The two of you drifted apart and eventually called it all off, via skype. But you had never looked back, and neither had he. You hadn’t even really thought about him in years.  

Since then, you had made a name for yourself in rallying, nascar, even hanging out in WEC for a season, before going back. When you got a call out of the blue from the one and only Zak Brown, who had apparently been following your career with interest, you could only accept to meet him. He took you around the MTC and even made you do some tests in the sim, then asked if you would be up for testing the car during the season.

“You are being considered to fill one of our seats next year. One of my drivers is having talks with RedBull and I’m covering my bases.” He explained.

You never registered that Oscar was the other McLaren driver. For the next year, you never saw him, and when anyone mentioned his name, your brain apparently blocked it out.

 After extensive individual testing and sim work to make sure you were ready, the thought that you would even have a teammate had completely slipped your mind.

So, there you were, staring into those brown eyes, a month before the beginning of the season, as Oscar waited for you to shake his hand. You realised you’d been staring at him silently for what must have been well over thirty seconds, as the staff around you shuffled around awkwardly.

Zak, who had just ‘introduced’ you, was just looking back and forth between you two, wondering why the hell nobody was speaking.

“You guys need a minute?...”

Still no answer, so he sighed and backed away from you, grumbling “What have I done?... I miss Lando already.”

Once Zak had disappeared from view, Oscar finally dropped his hand and scowled.

“I thought we were going to be civil about this, but if that’s how you want to play it in front of Zak, then that’s fine.” He started to walk away but you cut him off.

“No, wait! I’m sorry!” you rushed out “I just- forgot you were going to be here”

He scoffed. “Here? At my place of work for the past 4 years?”

“No! I mean- I guess my brain hadn’t really assimilated the fact that we… we’re teammates again…”

Something softened in his features for a split second before his face became blank once again. “Yeah? Well, I’m not the same person I was back then, so try not to get distracted. We’re aiming for a constructor’s championship this season, which won’t happen if you’re too busy mooning over me.”

You were speechless as he walked away smoothly, saying hello to a few engineers on the way. What the fuck was his problem? He had become a right arsehole in the 9 years since you’d last spoken. 2027 Oscar was a dick.

He’d also become the broadest, sluttiest proportioned man you’d ever seen as your eyes roamed over his large shoulders and tiny waist before coming to rest on his full, round behind.

Wow.

Zak Brown finally came back, with a rather large coffee cup in his hands. “Ah good, that’s over! Now why don’t we go into my office and we can go over the rest of the formalities for the new-“     Needless to say you didn’t listen to a word that was said in that office.

The thing about having special dispensation to drive in formula 1, is that there was a lot more scrutiny on you than the other drivers. Never mind the fact you were a woman on top of that. Luckily for you though, you had enough talent to go around.

You were fifth in the championship by the time the summer break rolled around, and you couldn’t be happier. Not that you weren’t enjoying the season so far, but the championship battle was intense. Between Redbull having Charles and Lando, You and Oscar in arguably the fastest car, Ollie and Lewis having as much fun in a Ferrari as expected, and even Kimi and George, who managed to grab a fair few podiums with a shitbox of a Mercedes, the margins separating all of you were extremely small, only forty two points between you and Charles in P1.

And although you hadn’t won a race yet, which was pretty normal given that you were a rookie going against the likes of these guys, the commentators and journalists had nothing but praise for you. And you basked in the glory with unbridled satisfaction.

You were on a yacht during summer break, a two day expedition (more like a two day free cruise) and Carlos Sainz Jr (former F1 driver, and your old rally teammate) was on the sun lounger next to you. His father was on one of the lower decks, no doubt hassling the maids for sandwiches.

“Do not worry muñequita, the season will go fine. Oscar just needs time to adjust to having you back in his life basically 24/7”

He pulled you into his lap and started kissing over your chest. Hands roaming over your body as he grumbled “Just like I need to adjust to not having you around all the time…” His mouth wasted no time travelling downwards, your bikini bottoms soon tossed aside, as he made the most of the temporary absence of his father.

You weren’t together really, but your relationship had grown close ever since his dad had helped you get into rallying and you two had subsequently become teammates when he retired from F1 when Williams didn't pan out. Carlos was an amazing lover, and as a woman in motorsports you couldn’t afford any bad PR being viewed as a slut, you needed convenience and discretion, so the arrangement was perfect.

Unfortunately, the next day paparazzi showed up and got some pictures of the two of you. Nothing explicit of course, but it was enough to fuel a few rumours and spice up silly season until the end of the summer break.

During the week leading up to the first race, Oscar was a real sour puss (more than usual anyway) and he kept giving you dirty looks. And he was distracted to the point where his sim runs were just getting worse and worse.

Then there were the snarky remarks. Like when you’d spilled a water jug in the cafeteria and he’d said something like “Messy in all aspects of life, then?”. Or when your car got scratched while parked in the MTC parking lot. He walked past, saw the scratch, snorted derisively and said “Karma’s a bitch, ay” before getting into his own car and driving off.

You had no idea what had gotten into him, but this had to stop, one way or another.

You cornered him in his driver’s room on Sunday morning before the race.

“What the fuck is your problem?” you snapped, storming into his room without even bothering to knock.

He looked up from where he was sitting on the sofa, scrolling on his phone, but he didn't look phased in the slightest.

“I don't know what you're talking about”

“Oh fuck off! Ever since I joined McLaren you've been a complete dick to me and since we came back from break it's been getting even worse!”

He shrugged and looked back at his phone, which enraged you.

So you did the rational thing and walked over to him, ripped his phone out of his hands to see what could possibly be more interesting than-

You froze upon seeing his screen.

It was one of the more… interesting shots of you and Carlos on the yacht from a few weeks ago.

He stood up and grabbed his phone back, but the damage was done.

Not only was it a picture of you and Carlos, but it wasn't on social media, it was in his camera roll.

He'd saved it onto his phone.

The cogs started turning in your head.

‘Messy in all aspects of life’ he’d said.

This was what he was referencing.

You looked into his eyes and they were filled with thinly veiled rage.

“Is this why? Are you fucking jealous?”

He scoffed and pushed past you.

“I most certainly am not. I hope you and Carlos are very happy together.”

He took his shirt off as aggressively as he could and started putting on his fireproofs.

“Me and Carlos aren't together you prick.”

“Really? So what's the deal then? Does he just get to fuck you?”

“What's it to you? You scared of playing second fiddle to Carlos Sainz?”

That made him halt his movements.

“What?” his hands balled into fists.

“You fucking heard me” you spat.

He turned around slowly, his shoulders tense and his nostrils flared.

“You'd better not be suggesting that he's better than me”

You crossed your arms in defiance. “We were 17 and inexperienced, Oscar, it's not hard to do better than that.”

Something animalistic flashed in his eyes. “I guess I need to change your perception of me if you're going to compare me to that fucking loser”

You laughed in his face, but under the surface you were uneasy at the implications.

“Good luck with that one mate”

“Yeah?” he cocked an eyebrow as he prowled towards you menacingly. “Is he that unbelievable? Does he make you come? Does he fuck you like he means it? Does he make you tremble with need underneath him? Does he make you scream his name?”

He towered over you, only a few inches separating your faces.

“Because I guarantee, once you get a taste of me you won't be going back to him.”

“Do your worst” you whispered, fully turned on by this angry side of Oscar.

“Oh I’m going to” he smirked, “but right now I have a race to win”

And with that he backed off, leaving you unconsciously gripping the edge of the table you’d been cornered against.

As you crossed the threshold of his doorway on your way out, you muttered “coward”, fully intending for him to hear it.

And thank God Oscar didn’t, because if he had, you wouldn’t have been able to get in a car after he’d had his way with you.

You were distracted the whole race. Nerves ran down your spine as you took each corner, not wrong enough to hit a wall, but wrong enough to slow you down.

“Concentrate, please. Leclerc is closing the gap, we don’t want to endanger Oscar’s chances” your engineer muttered over the radio.

“Fuck Oscar” you said, which was entirely unhelpful, and if aired was going to attract quite a bit of backlash.

Fortunately for you, Oscar seemed to be having similar difficulties. He’d dipped his rear tyres into the gravel a couple of times, and with 39 lap old mediums, that meant he was becoming significantly slower than you, being on slightly fresher ones.

You eventually caught up to him, and Charles caught up to you.

You should have been let past. You were faster, you could guarantee a McLaren win. Oscar should have listened to team orders. You shouldn’t have forced him wide to get past when he refused to listen to reason. He shouldn’t have hit you while defending his inside line. You shouldn’t have ended up beached in the gravel trap, Oscar’s car spinning alongside yours. Charles shouldn’t have won that race.

You and Oscar shouldn’t have started brawling on the edge of the track.

Alas...

The loud slam of your driver’s room door against the wall startled you, as if you weren’t expecting it. As if you hadn’t been waiting for him.

As if Oscar hadn’t spat ‘you won’t be able to walk tomorrow’ at you as the marshalls dragged you apart.

As if you weren’t already dripping at the thought of Oscar taking his anger out on you and making you pay for what happened.

His hand was around your throat before you could think too much about it. You were pinned down on the table, nails scratching at the arm that held you down against the cool wood.

The fact that you were soaked was evident as soon as he forced his other hand into your underwear and felt how slick your folds were, and he immediately used his fingers to make you fall apart at the seams as he found the spot that made you weak and abused it repeatedly, his thumb pressing rough circles onto your poor clit.

Only when you’d come twice from his fingers alone was he satisfied.

He’d changed into sweatpants at some point, making it easier for him to pull his hard cock out while still holding you down.

You were used and oversensitive, and the sight of his thickness made you squirm and attempt to tell him to stop, but you didn’t get the chance.

The fingers around your throat were barely letting you breathe, much less get words out, not to mention that you were getting so lightheaded you doubted if your words would even be comprehensible if you did manage to utter them.

When his tip breached you, you tensed, waiting for him to go all the way, but he didn’t.

He waited until you relaxed before he slammed into you, probably bruising your cervix and making sure he made good on his trackside promise.

If you’d been able to make a sound, you would have probably been heard all the way across the paddock. The aching pain just served to add to the fog that was slowly invading your mind as he wasted no time pulling out and thrusting back in with even more force.

It was brutal, uncaring and relentless.

This wasn’t for your pleasure, nor even for his. This was a painful reminder for you both, that you were at the mercy of the sport you dedicated your lives to. You were puppets, made to compete in the most expensive dog fight in the world and you couldn’t do anything to change that. You just had to take it, until you triumphed, or drowned in the condolent applause of failure.

These were the sort of wild thoughts a person could have after being deprived of air for long enough.

Oscar hadn’t even noticed the state you were in until your grip on his arm weakened, and he panicked slightly and quickly loosened his grip, allowing you to heave in the first proper breath you’d had in minutes.

The reprieve didn’t last long though, because he leaned over you and kissed you, more teeth and tongue than a real kiss, but it was all either of you could manage, being so close to the brink of extasy you hadn’t even noticed you’d been nearing. Your body rocked against the table with the powerful movement of his hips slapping yours, the combined sweat of your bodies making the surface slippery.

Your throat was sore, and all you could manage was a pitiful whine as you were tossed over the edge of the precipice, and Oscar jumped with you, both of you panting and moaning into each other’s mouths as he filled you to the brim.

He didn’t stop though. He kept fucking you through it, overstimulating you and himself, both of you crying out into the stale air of your driver’s room.

His anger and desperation could be felt in his unrelenting pace, frenzied thrusts pushing you further and further up the table each time.

Your shared tears mingled with your sweat, clouding your visions as you just kept going.

 It hurt, but that didn’t matter when it was just the two of you, together, bodies colliding, unspoken words hanging between you.

It hurt, but it felt good.

The pain grounded you, making sure you stayed locked in even when you couldn't breathe.

He filled you up again and again, until he physically couldn’t anymore. He pulled out without care and pulled his sweats back up.

He took in your appearance: skin flushed, glistening with sweat and tears, bruises forming around your neck, puffy cunt leaking onto the table… pathetic.

He made his way to the door but stopped just as his hand touched the handle.

“Don’t try that shit ever again” and the next thing you heard was the door slam behind him.

You both knew you would do it again. And he would do it as soon as he got the chance, probably leading to another crash.

And you would probably end up right back here, used and spent, unable to move.

Tears sprang to your eyes, anyone could walk in and see you like this, utterly destroyed physically and mentally by your teammate.

It took you several minutes to gather the energy to move, and when you did the pain flashed across your body once again.

He'd used you, made you take it until he had nothing left to give. Until you lay there, broken like a discarded toy.

But God, you both knew you craved it.

[muzansfangs]

If you were their soulmate.

Starring: Aizen Sosuke x f!reader; Mayuri Kurotsuchi x f!reader; Uryuu Ishida x f!reader.

Format: head canons

Warnings: fluff, basically. Also, be aware that Uryuu is aged up and that Aizen’s part has some toxic traits. He is a walking red flag, after all.

Plot: how would they act if you were their soulmate and they were genuinely in love with you? Was it love at first sight, or were you two just friends at first?

Requested by: @stygianoir I’m sorry if it took me a while! I hope you liked it!

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Uryuu Ishida.

• For someone as logical and rational as him, it was impossible to believe it was love at first sight. Could something like that possibly exist? He did not trust his own feelings around you. You were a good person, he felt comfortable around you. Yet, the way you always seemed to understand him and support every decision he made was quite disturbing. It was impossible to be that connected to someone. It almost felt like a spiritual connection.

• He probably did not have any filter around you and was not afraid to show you his true colors. He was fine with not being judged as soemone too analytical and detached, for once. He liked the way you made him feel normal.

• He did not let anyone hurt you, or offend you in any way. It did not matter if it was during a fight, or in a more casual occasion. He even snapped at Ichigo out of the blue because he had accidentally spilt some coffee on your papers. You found it odd, of course, but it was sweet at some extent.

• He never failed to notice how beautiful you were. He always thought your appearence whetted his appetites, but he restrained himself from crossing the line of friendship for months. Why? He was frightened by the idea of losing you. What if you didn’t want him back? You two were definitely better off as friends. Or so he thought until something happened.

• Something happened, right. That was Ichigo trying to hit on you. He could not let that happen. Now he was absolutely sure that he could be a better boyfriend material than him, therefore he quickly made up his mind and decided to talk to you. Man on a mission: he interrupted Ichigo’s little speech and literally dragged you away from him.

• He thought it would have been easier for someone like him, so logical and precise. He was so wrong. As you two were alone and he could finally confess his feelings to you, he felt his heart sink into his chest. Oh, damn, your eyes. It was all your cute eyes’s fault. He got distracted! Naturally, he messed up his little mental plan on how to make you understand he liked you. Yet, it was cute.

• “Your eyes are so pretty. They leave me speechless” he simply blurted out, clenching his fists down his sides.

• A long silence followed that as you both blushed and you blinked at him in confusion. Uryuu panicked, of course, and the tips of his ears turned red. He knew words were not his forte at this point and he thought about kissing you instead.

• Yet, you surprised him when you said “I love you too, if that’s what you meant. Your eyes not quite bad too, by the way” you whispered, smiling softly.

• Uryuu smiled weakly and hugged you tightly. Yes, there was no doubt about it. You were definitely his soulmate. But his brain had short-circuited again and you had to clear your throat to remind him that he should have kissed you and not hugged you.

Aizen Sosuke.

• It was love at first sight. Or obsession, at first sight. He believed in that concept, but he never thought it would have ever happened to him. He was too self-centered, affected by his god complex and detached from any human emotion to feel a connection with someone. You were more than his obsession, at first. He was curious about you and how you simply seemed to break his walls and go with his flow without getting cut on his edges.

• As you two spent time together, he started to do some researches about the nature of some spiritual bonds among individuals and he found out that you two were most likely soulmates. What a shock. Aizen knew one thing for sure: if you were his soulmate, he had to have you by his side no matter what.

• ‘No matter what’ was a devious concept for him. Why? He did not care about what was the price to pay to win to you over, he would have done it. Or kidnapped you.

• As he watched you stroll around and talking with Shinji, he definitely uttered something among the lines of “Mine of no one else’s”. That night he trimmed his former Captain’s hair. Not long before that, Shinji became one of Aizen’s victims.

• As you seemed to be naturally drawn to him, though, he simply welcomed you into his life. He loved showing you a little soft side of him no one knew. You spent a lot of time sipping on tea and talking about calligraphy. You were so perfect for him. And he definitely loved it when you got too tired and fell asleep over his shoulder.

• Your natural predisposition for meddling into his business and figuring out his plans made him go crazy and he was soon forced to have a serious talk in the middle of the woods with you. You had stand by his side. If you were soulmates, you would have probably agreed in whatever wicked plans he had. Right?

• “Is this the part where you give me the choice to either follow you, or die right here? Of course I am in” you said, as he confronted you. Oh, the wolfish grin plastered over his face at that point was priceless.

• You were not as cruel as he was. You simply stack by his side and followed his orders, but he tried to keep your hands as clean as possible. After all, a beauty as yourself could not become too blood-thirsty. He did not want you to become as Gin, he was happy with having you glued by his hip.

• His confession was smooth. Right before he tricked Hinamori, he invited you to watch the fireworks together. After all, everybody did it and it would have been simply suspicious not to attend the mundane event. However, as you were sitting on the rooftop next to him, eyes twinkling for the technicolor lights exploding in the night sky, he grasped your jaw rather roughly and kissed you passionately.

• “Did I make it loud and clear?” he simply purred in your ear. Of course not. It was more than enough.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi.

• You caught the eye of this man. He probably wanted to experiment on you at first! Yet, as he studied your features better, he had to admit that you were too pretty for that and… What was that strange attraction he felt towards you? He wanted to know you, to be around you, to study you and not on you. The first thing he did after your first meeting was searching for answers and he got thunderstruck when he found them. He had a soulmate? That was absurd. It was weird thinking that you would have been able to understand him wholly and bear him at his worst.

• Ladies and gentlemen, he tried to be polite. The next day he tracked you down and apologized for his behavior. He told you he did not want to use you as a cavy anymore but that it would have been nice of you to help him understand if soulmates existed. That was his attempt to befriend you and it worked. He did not tell you he suspected you to he his soulmate at first. He did not want to scare you away.

• You two spent most of the time in his laboratory, helping him with his researches or, watching him do them, because he lost his patience over everything. But, eventually, you snapped. You tamed that maniac man by literally yelling at his face to calm down.

• He got offended at first.

• That little voice inside him told him to forgive you right away, though. How frustrating it was!

• After struggling to find a solution to a chemistry problem and you casually walked by dropping the solution, he was left speechless. He spent three alone, in the privacy of his room, to talk to himself about how could someone beat him at his own game.

• Months went by just like that, until you decided to sneak into his private room and rummage through his stuff. Finally, you found a file with your name over it and you were quite shocked to read that you were his soulmate. You planned to make your move on him, since he seemed to be too stubborn to confront you about it. However luck was not in your favor.

• He caught you with the papers in your hands and he fumed in anger.

• You were not even surprised by the argument that followed. It had become amusing at this point. But you knew how to turn the tables in your favor. As he yelled at you, you walked up to him slowly until just mere inches devided your faces.

• “How could you do that? You little—” he ranted, throwing his hands in the air as you simply captured his lips in yours with a kiss. Man, he stopped screaming and turned red from head to toe.

• “Oh. That was so much overdued, actually” he commented, rubbing his chin before kissing you again.

[impishjesters]

Can you do Jax x reader who has a lot of insecurities about how they look and act in the real world and the digital one? And if not you can just ignore this 💕

Insecurities

warning(s): Jax (only slightly kidding), insecurities, mentioned dark humor to cope, minor bullying (Jax throws Zooble and Dangle under the bus on their appearance) note(s): I'm quickly learning that just like Jax, I'd probably be an awful human being to seek comfort in.. at least words of comfort... A/N: Realized more than halfway through writing that I wasn't sure if the request was separate hc's like knowing him before being yoinked into the digital hellscape and after or not... Feel free to toss another ask though and I can try some pre-digital hellscape hc's...however, I feel like they'd still be pretty similar to the post-digital hellscape reactions.

Jax is probably the last person to talk to when it comes to insecurities, real or digital

One time the topic of what everyone looked like before being sucked into the digital hellscape came up, but not everyone remembered, whether it was because they simply couldn’t remember or because they’d been there too long to remember

Jax’s response is never consistent. In one comment he’ll say he misses having long hair and was 5’4”, and the next comment is how he was actually bald and 5’10”

Now whether that’s him fuckin around or not is anybody’s guess

Currently, he’s got no real beef with his appearance, and he’s unapologetically himself digital or human. Now when it comes to you?

It can go a few different ways depending on how close the two of you are

Right out the gate, he’ll claim whatever toy-like appearance you’ve taken on can’t be any uglier than Zooble, which is like wow, harsh—they aren’t exactly easy on the eyes but that’s still a person with feelings…

He might even throw in a harsh comment about Gangle’s lack of a body, being ya know just ribbons… but hey! At least you have a body compared to her (Jax..that’s not helping..)

See what I said? Not the best person to go to with this sorta stuff

In the beginning, there’s always the gamble he might poke fun at your digital appearance and not really realize till later on that you were insecure about your appearance. (Whether it’s because someone else pointed it out or you flat-out told him.)

The closer the two of you get—friendship or romantic—he’s still an ass but once you’ve confronted him about your feelings and insecurities about your appearance, digital or human he knocks it off.

Nobody’s really voiced their complaints on what they ended up as here, at least not publically…

He’ll try to reassure you that you look fine, likely not understanding how deeply rooted something like insecurities can go and something like a “well I don’t think you’re ugly” isn’t gonna cut it.

Jax isn’t a sweet talker, or rather he doesn’t really sound all that genuine if he does, but he does try to put some emphasis that you really do look fine. (again, sweet but likely not helpful)

Now real world you? He wouldn’t know in the slightest, and while he could lie and say that the description you gave him wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, he’s not gonna do that to you (not that the appearance you gave him sounded ugly or anything).

Jax copes with dark humor and will without a doubt throw out some comment about how you won’t have to be insecure about your human appearance anymore because it’s unlikely any of you are getting out of here. (I’m sorry I’m laughing so hard because that would 15/10 make me laugh, dark humor is how I cope)

It’s not helpful (depending on the individual at least)

Oh! What about now you don’t have to worry about any acne or wrinkles?

Better? But is it really? Eh..

Overall he’s not particularly great at the whole reassurance about your appearance or how you act “I mean have you seen how some of the others act?” (Jax that’s not..helpful), but because you are someone important to him he’ll make the extra effort to listen to exactly what it is your insecure about and if you need him to reassure you he’ll do so

It might sound insincere but that’s just how he talks

On the off chance that you have a really bad day, it tugs at his heartstrings (yeah, he has those), he’ll pull you aside and give you little kisses over those places.

Insecure about something facial-wise? Face kisses.

You end up as a toy with too many legs and not enough fingers? Kisses (maybe not the legs though...)

When in doubt kisses and he’ll let you hug him or whatever, but breathe a word of this to the other’s and he’ll.. I dunno, prank you later or something. He'll have to workshop it.

Back to the act thing, I don’t personally know how someone would be insecure over that—but if you stim or anything of the sort Jax won’t really comment on it, but if someone else does? Poor them because they are about to get on the bunny’s bad side.

Gangle stims and as big of an asshole as Jax is, he’s never made fun of her for it.

[gaylordscooter]

In Too Deep

[warning for dissociation, references to self harm, and suicidal thoughts]

He woke up in an unfamiliar place, he should’ve been used to this by now. He kinda was, considering he didn't immediately summon any attacks.

Killer massaged his skull as he sat up on the couch he apparently fell asleep on. His eye socket still ached from having that parasite in it.

“you finally up again?” Hor—Sans asked.

get that through your head already.

“mhph” he hummed and nodded in a completely lucid manner.

He registered that Sans was back to wearing regular clothes as opposed to the “disguise”. Looking down at himself he realized he also was wearing his normal clothes—actually no, his shirt and jacket was normal but he was still wearing those red bell bottom jeans. Looks like whoever changed him didn't want to intrude on his personal space that much.

“geez, that thing did a number on you.” Sans absentmindedly scratched at his neck. “that ‘blue’ guy’s back. he's talked to me and dusk, individually. he's trying to sort out the living situation.”

“whaddya mean? dusk and i are living in the same apartment and you're living with your fellow monsters, what's there to sort out? unless the walking x did decide to kick us out.”

“no, we're not being kicked out. blue’ll explain, just go over to his room,” Sans said. He pointed to the hallway, “it's the door at the end.”

Right after he said that, Dusk walked in from the hall. His head quickly turned to Sans after he noticed Killer was awake.

“you're up,” he said. Something sounded off in his tone. Was he disappointed? Annoyed?

Or was Killer still groggy and just imagined it. “yup,” he pushed himself up from the couch and his vision definitely didn't get funky for a moment, “so, the nerd wants to talk to me?”

“that's what i meant.”

Oh, that was “you're up” as in “it's your turn” not as in “oh thank god you're okay i missed you”. Of course. Duh.

“cool.” He walked over to the hallway, while he passed Dusk he tried searching his expression for anything, but with his hoodie back on he couldn't even see his face. He swore he was mad at him or something…

He continued down the hall, pushing that feeling aside as he opened the door to Blue’s room.

Blue was seated on his bed, which was shaped like a damn rocket-ship, and held a clipboard in his hand with a pen in the other. He gave him a gentle smile when he walked in. “Hello! Take a seat.” He gestured to the shoddy stool situated in front of his bed.

Killer narrowed his sockets, “what is this?”

“I’ll just have a quick chat with you considering your future living circumstances. Sorry for the poor setup, I don't necessarily have an office.”

Killer scoffed and stayed standing. “why didn't you just do this in the living room?”

“I wanted there to be privacy for each of you.”

“privacy?”

“Just sit down already so I can explain,” Blue sighed.

Begrudgingly, Killer sat down. Only because he didn't want his vision getting wonky again from standing.

“Okay, so. You three have gone through a lot—”

“heh, sure.”

“—even more than being held captive by Nightmare. And obviously that can cause a lot of…baggage.”

Killer chuckled, “oh. oh, you're gonna try and play doctor, aren’tcha? gonna try to fix us?” He eyed the clipboard. “gonna take notes on us like we're mere lab rats?”

“That's not the reason I’m taking notes—and I’m not going to try to ‘fix’ you, I want to help.”

“well, you've already done that, haven't you? saved us from that awful party that your friend sent us to,” Killer spat.

Blue put the clipboard down behind him. “I didn't agree to that. I told him not to. It was out of my control.”

“of course it was.”

Blue went silent for a bit, fidgeting with his hands. His eyelights stayed on Killer at all times.

It took him a moment to think of what to say.

“If you don't want my help, I won't force you. We’ll just get onto discussing where you'll live and you can get on with your day.”

“i’m fine with that apartment, now let me leave.”

“That hotel room isn't necessarily meant as a place for long-term stay—”

“i don't care. i’m fine living there with dusk.” He stood up, ready to leave.

Blue squinted his eyes and his smile faltered. “Dusk said he wanted to move into a house,” he mumbled.

Killer huffed and walked over to the door. “fine, whatever. apartment, house, it doesn't matter.”

“alone.”

The room went silent once more.

Killer drew his hand away from the door knob and turned around. His ringed eyelights bore into the other skeleton. “what?”

Blue shrunk in on himself. “he said that…he wanted to live alone.”

“why?!” Killer couldn't help but yell.

He was scaring the other skeleton shitless, but he didn't really care about that right now. He needed an answer. Was that why Dusk was acting so cold to him earlier? Was he still mad at him from that argument they had?

Did he finally wake up and realize he was sick of—

“You two should discuss this with each other,” Blue said, voice loud enough to be heard through his thoughts. “I thought he would bring it up when you woke up.”

“he didn't tell me anything,” he muttered.

For the first time, Blue looked away from him. He was clueless on what to say. “Um, sorry…”

Killer left the room without another word. He quickly made his way back to the living room.

Dusk and Sans were sitting on the couch all casually as if everything was fine.

“what the fuck, dusk?” he snapped.

Attention was on him instantly.

Sans looked confused, while Dusk’s stupid face was covered by his stupid hood as always.

“you're just gonna leave me without a warning, huh?” His voice cracked as he spoke, much to his dismay.

Sans glanced at the two of them, and stood up from the couch. “i’m just gonna…yeah.” He fled the room.

“we're not exactly obligated to live with each other,” Dusk said. “we're not a married couple.”

How could he treat this like it was trivial?

“but i don't want you to leave! what the hell am i supposed to do alone?” He was panicking. He couldn't even control the words he was saying, let alone think of what he was saying.

“killer, i care about you—fuck—i love you, even,” Dusk admitted.

The sudden confession wasn't doing any wonders for calming Killer down. Now? Really? Now?!

“what the hell is your problem, then?” he managed to say.

“we need to spend some time apart,” he said.

Killer had to take a moment to breathe. He didn't even need oxygen, he just needed to calm down. As if breathing would even help.

Dusk stood up to approach him.

God dammit.

He hugged Killer.

God fucking dammit.

Automatically, Killer’s arms wrapped around his back, clinging onto him and never wanting to let go. “why do we need to spend time apart?” he croaked.

“we can't depend on each other all the time.”

“dust, please, i’ve already been alone for too long!”

Dusk moved his hands up to Killer’s shoulders to push him away so that they could look each other in the eye sockets.

Killer’s face was a mess. The rotten determination leaking from his sockets mixed with his tears which was smudged all over his face from the hug.

“i-i meant to say ‘dusk’, i’m sorry—”

“killer,” he said as gently as he could, which was hardly due to the lack of practice. “i’m not mad at you. i just need a break. we're in a new world, i can't just spend all my time locked up in a hotel room with you and you shouldn't either.”

“you're leaving me.”

“we're just not going to live together. we won't be that far away.”

“i don't understand! if you're not even mad then why do you need a break from me?”

“this isn't healthy, killer,” Dusk stressed.

Killer’s sockets widened at the ridiculousness of the statement. “when have we ever cared about that?”

“since i started caring about you,” Dusk countered.

Killer noticed he could see his eyelights from under his hood, but they weren't the usual colors. They were white.

Dusk’s hands mechanically drew away from him. “you're too clingy.”

The sentence was like a slap to the face. No, he's felt a slap to the face before, this was worse.

Dusk continued, “so i’m going to live on my own. you're not changing my mind.”

Yeah, it felt more like being stabbed through the soul.

Killer didn't respond, so the conversation ended there.

After a minute passed, Blue and Sans walked into the room. The timing felt too forced. He didn't doubt that they were listening. He couldn't bring himself to care.

He didn't know what to do now.

“hey,” someone said.

“are you…are you aware the other two have already left?”

He was in a room. He almost forgot that, somehow. He didn’t really feel like he was anywhere right now. “what?”

The person he was talking to seemed so blurry, all his surroundings did, now that he thought about it.

“aw geez,” Blue muttered. The other skeleton was completely out of it. Usually when Ink dissociates, he'd hold his hand to ground him, but he didn't know how Killer would react to that. He waved his hand in front of his eye sockets. “Killer? Do you know where you are right now?”

Killer turned his head towards him, but his lack of eyelights made it hard to tell if he was actually looking at him. “i—we're in your house, right?”

“We’re already back in your room,” Blue said gently.

He went quiet again.

“Hey, uh, do you want anything to eat? I don't think you've had food in a while.”

“yeah sure whatever,” he mumbled.

Yeah he totally wasn't listening.

He weighed his options. He could potentially grab Killer's hand and take him to a restaurant—no he's not gonna do that. He could…leave him here to get some food and then come back. He didn't really wanna leave him though.

Killer walked over to his bed to lie down.

He also kinda didn't want to stay either.

He couldn't believe he thought that this was that Killer. In hindsight, he should've known immediately that they were a different group. That Killer acted completely differently from this one. This one was, frankly, quite pitiful.

And pity he did.

“why are you still here?”

The sound of his voice made him flinch. He sighed, “I don't want you to be alone right now.”

Killer let out an empty chuckle, “why? what trouble could i possibly cause alone?”

Blue felt his soul drop at the first thing he imagined. He pushed that away. “Uh, I’m more concerned about your well-being than…any trouble you might cause.”

“sure.”

Yeah he wasn't leaving this guy alone. He reached for his phone to shoot a quick text to Ink and promptly put it away.

He walked over to the other bed. With no reaction from Killer, he decided to sit down on it.

Now that he was closer he could see how much messier Killer’s face had gotten. It looked like a squid attacked him. Sheesh, he didn't even know what that black liquid was but surely it wasn't a good thing to be leaking that much of it.

“you're stumped, aren't you?” he asked. “you don't know how to help me.”

Blue was surprised by the question. “Well, I can't exactly help someone who doesn't want it.” Getting him to cooperate would be the first step.

Killer propped himself up on his bed to lean his back against the headboard. He turned his tar-leaking head to Blue with a demented smile. “how would you go about it if i did?”

“I’d probably get you something to eat because you haven't eaten in, how many hours has it been already? About six.”

“gee, and here you are lazing about. i guess i’m gonna starve to death now because you didn't help.”

“You haven't asked for my help yet, silly,” Blue rolled his eyelights. “Anyway, I had someone else get you food.”

The door opened immediately after his sentence ended. Ink dramatically waltzed in holding a bag of takeout and handed it to Blue.

Killer didn't even have the time to complain about the sudden company before Ink winked, melted into a puddle and left.

Blue frowned and put the takeout down on the bed he was sitting on. “he left the door open, of course.” He walked over to shut the door and returned back to the bed to open the bag. “So! Have you ever had sushi before?”

Killer looked at Blue like he was insane. “what the hell is your deal?”

“It's just raw fish, you don't need to be so hung up about it.” Blue nonchalantly handed Killer a container of sushi rolls and chopsticks.

Much to Blue's relief, he accepted the sushi.

“I just got you some basic California rolls—right this is human food I forgot to mention. There isn't really any concerns about it health-wise but some monsters aren't prepared for the different feel of it—”

Killer was already putting a roll into his mouth. “it's fine, nightmare made us eat food from the surface. i’m used to it.”

“Oh.” Killer was actually contributing to the conversation, he needed to say more than that to keep it going. “Did you have any particular favorites?” He started eating his own sushi, they were dragon rolls, which sounded a lot cooler than they actually were. Oh well, they were still good.

Killer answered with a simple “no” before stuffing his mouth with more sushi.

That's fine, Blue could carry this conversation himself. “Seafood’s particularly been my favorite so far. Humans get so creative with it!”

Killer didn't respond. He just kept eating.

“It's kinda why I got us sushi, actually. I’ve been trying everything on the menu at this one place for the past few weeks.” He ate a few rolls himself. Maybe holding a conversation while they were eating wasn't the smartest way to go about it. It was a hassle to talk and eat.

Right as he thought that, Killer finished the last of his food. He put the chopsticks in the container and shoved it off the bed. He lied back down immediately.

The action kinda reminded him of a cat.

Blue put his leftovers back in the bag and got up to pick Killer’s discarded container off the ground. “I guess I’ll get going now.” He walked over to the door. “I can come back tomorrow morning if you’d like? I know going out to get food by yourself is…a less than ideal experience.”

Killer sighed and pinched his nasal bone. “you're annoyingly persistent. fine, do whatever you want.”

“It's a date, see you tomorrow!” Blue said cheerily before leaving. Immediately after closing the door he questioned why he said that. He could've said literally anything else. Or just omitted that first part. Whatever, hopefully Killer will ignore it. Dying of embarrassment is not on his to-do list.

With that guy gone, Killer could finally relax. Well, not necessarily relax but if he felt like throwing a few attacks around the room to let off some steam no one would get caught in the crossfire. No one he doesn't want to hurt, at least.

God, his face was a mess.

He felt like a mess too.

Maybe he should shower…

He just remembered, he doesn't have a change of clothes.

He used to have so many clothes. He recently obtained a lot, in fact.

He wished he could kill Nightmare. God he hated that thing. Why did he have to go and kidnap him? Why did he have to torture him and the others and then fool them for a moment into thinking they were safe?

He shouldn't even be here right now. He should be dead.

Killer screwed his sockets shut.

He’s going to shower. Who gives a shit if he doesn't have a change of clothes, at least he’ll get to feel the scalding water on his bones.

He managed to will himself over to the bathroom.

The first thing he noticed on the countertop was, remarkably, a change of clothes. It wasn't just any clothes, however. These were some of the clothes he had back at Nightmare’s castle.

There was a note that sat atop the folded clothes.

“Hiii, I know these look familiar. I managed to snag these from Nightmare. There's more in the dresser in the other room that you completely neglected to check. P.S. you got wayyy too many clothes.”

It was signed with a horribly written “Ink”.

…

That guy creeped him out.

He sighed. At least he has his clothes, he guessed.

He hesitated as he took off his jacket. He faced away from the mirror as he finally did. He threw it behind him, it probably landed on the countertop. As he took off his shirt, he thought about how he got into these clothes in the first place.

Someone changed his clothes, obviously. But who?

He caught a glimpse of the scars on his arms as he took off the rest of his clothes.

And then his soul froze.

If someone changed his jacket, and someone did change him because he doesn't remember doing that himself—honestly he doesn't even remember taking a nap—they saw his scars.

He didn't know how to feel about that.

He didn't really keep them a secret. At least he thinks he doesn't. Of course he doesn't go around announcing he has them either.

It's not really anyone else's business.

He absentmindedly ran his hands along the ridges on his tibiae and fibulae before jerking away like they were on fire.

He wasn't going to think about this anymore.

He hopped into the shower. He turned the faucet to as hot as it could go. It's not like he had skin to burn, besides the hotter the water the easier it was to scrub off the damn rotten determination off of him.

So, recap. Dusk hates him now, Sans has abandoned him to be with his real friends and family, and he really really wishes he could kill Nightmare, preferably by strangulation.

And Blue’s trying to fix him, at least that will be interesting to watch.

He really wasn't looking forward to sleeping alone tonight.

“you're too clingy.”

He pushed Dusk’s words out of his mind. Well, sorry that he was alone for however many years! God forbid he wanted to make up for lost time! What a horrible person he was for wanting to stick around the person he cared about the most!

He shut his eyes tightly, reveling in the burn of the water.

He wanted to scream. He wasn't going to, probably. He didn't want anyone to come knocking at his door.

Man, if only he had a way to calm down. Oh wait! He can't even fight with Dusk to let off some steam either!

Great! Awesome!

If he did fight with Dusk right now he’d probably kill him at this point. But that's completely useless to think about because if he could in the first place, he wouldn't be this angry.

Really great shower thoughts he was having. It's not like this is only making him more frustrated at Dusk.

He came up with that name for him.

Y’know what? He's over it now! This whole thing is stupid! Who needs him?

Hell, Blue’s willing to do all this stuff for him—someone he hardly even knows! Fuck it! He can be his replacement. He’ll be better than Dusk ever was!

He turned off the shower. He wished turning off his thoughts was that easy too.

He dried off and threw on the clothes that were left on the countertop. They happened to be a pair of sweats and a cotton shirt, clearly suitable sleepwear. Did Ink put these here after he delivered the food?

No, the note said there were some in the dresser. He probably did that before he got here.

That guy really creeped him out.

Well, maybe he didn't feel like sleeping now. He still has yet to explore the area and it’s probably late out.

He squinted at the currently closed blinds. He wondered if this universe had a proper day and night cycle.

He approached the window and opened the blinds to answer his question.

Lo and behold it was dark out.

His eyes widened. He rushed back to the bathroom to snag his jacket and shrugged it on as he went out of the hotel room.

It was lethally silent in the hallway so he crept down it as quietly as he could.

Just as he hoped, absolutely no one was in the lobby.

He exited the hotel without that awful feeling of dread that was present last time.

Cold air hit his face as he closed the door behind him. Everything was dark, there weren't even streetlamps or anything on. Must've been really late.

Sheesh. How long did he stay in the shower?

Feeling bold, he walked down the sidewalk, looking around even though he could hardly see.

Some people were scared of the dark, which Killer found funny. Personally he felt an odd sense of calmness from being in the dark. Things were less overwhelming.

If there was anyone out right now he sure as hell couldn't see them and they probably couldn't see him in turn.

This kinda reminded him of his walks in the forest…Usually he went out at night to see his cats or if he was having a particularly hard time sleeping.

His cats…

He hoped the six of them were fine.

Maybe.

Maybe Nightmare isn't as bad as he acted. Maybe that apology was genuine. He did lie. He said he killed Dust and Horror—in a way he did. Neither of them went by those names anymore. But he also told those two that he killed him, and he's still Killer. He’ll always be.

Why did he lie? Why did he apologize? Manipulation? Then why did he send them away?

There were those rare times he had less slime on him than usual. Times when he was damaged. One of those times was around the time he decided to kick them out.

Maybe none of this meant anything. “Guardian of negativity” surely that just meant he was the scum of the multiverse.

He caught sight of the moon. Apparently this universe had one of those too. Something in his soul stirred.

He's never seen the moon before, has he? They've gone to the surface many times, Nightmare hardly took them underground, but they've never been out at night.

And of course he's never been to the surface back in his universe.

It was beautiful. Currently a waxing gibbous, most of it was showing. A full moon would be soon.

He was surprised he remembered the phases of the moon. That's right, he was a huge fan of space once, wasn't he?

There were plenty of stars too. The lack of light pollution here really made them stand out.

He wasn't that tired right now. Maybe he could stay up to watch the sun rise, but some people might be out by then. He sighed. He supposed he should head back.

It was fairly easy to find the hotel again, even in the dark, granted he just walked in a straight line.

Once he got back to his room, all sleepiness finally hit him. He took off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor and got on his bed.

The second his head hit the pillow he immediately fell asleep.

He woke up to the sound of knocking. He jerked upright, wiping the drool off his mouth.

His dream was relatively mundane. He hardly remembered any of it. There was a deer at one point, that was the only thing he could remember.

In his book, that meant he had a good dream.

“dusk, can you get the door?”

No response, typical.

He grumbled, willing himself out of bed to answer the door himself. As he passed by Dusk’s empty bed it hit him that he wasn't living with him anymore. Oh, right.

And the person knocking at the door was definitely not gonna be Sans, but Blue.

He stood in front of the door, hand hovering above the doorknob.

There was another knock. “Uh, Killer? Are you awake?”

Did he really want to answer it right now?

He was having a great time being alone. By himself.

There was another knock, more frantic this time.

If he just stayed quiet maybe he'll assume he was sleeping and go away.

“Killer!?” Blue’s yell caught him off guard. He sounded like he was panicking.

“I’M GONNA BREAK THE DOOR DOWN TO CHECK IF YOU’RE SLEEPING!” he shouted.

Okay he should probably open the door. He grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.

Blue jumped as the door opened. He looked like he was about to kick the door down. Honestly, Killer kinda wanted to see if he'd even be able to do that. “OH! Oh! Thank goodness. You're alive—AWAKE!” He seemed to mentally kick himself. “Good morning!”

He was dressed in motorcycle gear. There was no way this guy actually drove a motorcycle, was there?

Killer quirked a brow bone. “you're alive too. nice to know you didn't trip on anything on your way here.”

Blue scratched the back of his skull as he weakly laughed. “Ha…yeah. So, ready to go get breakfast?”

“wait, we're going out? i thought you were just going to bring the food like last time.”

“Oh don't worry, we're gonna go somewhere relatively secluded. Once you drive far enough from this little town there's a field of grass people hardly go to since it takes a while to walk to. I’ll set up a picnic there,” Blue explained.

“so you do have the food on you. let's just eat here.”

“No, you need some sunlight. C’mon.”

Killer narrowed his sockets. “i went out last night.”

“That's good! You still need sunlight.” He really wasn't budging on this.

Then he had a thought. What if he threatened him? He wasn't going to let this guy push him around.

A bone with a sharpened end was summoned in his hand before he knew it.

Blue didn't even move.

He brought the bone close to his chest. “you're not making me go out, alright? just bring the food here. or y’know what? i don't even need to eat. you can just fuck off and leave me alone.”

Blue raised his hands in defense. “Okay. I’m sorry for pushing your boundaries. I won’t do it again,” he mumbled guiltily.

Killer huffed, drawing the bone away. His apology only pissed him off more. He didn't even look or sound remotely scared. “do you know how easy it would be to kill you?”

Blue stared at him with caution.

“i’ve already killed my brother, do you think killing myself would be any harder?” His hand on the bone tightened.

Instantly Blue reached out to grab his wrists tossing any concern for himself out the window. “I know you think it’d be easy but please don’t!”

He wasn't worried about dying in the slightest. He was worried about Killer dying.

He could feel his hands trembling around his wrists.

“why do you care so much?” Killer asked.

Blue frowned. Killer wasn't sure why.

“I—i’m sorry. after you fell asleep while the others were changing out of those stupid disguises, i suggested that one of them should change your jacket, at least. you already weren't wearing a shirt i didn't realize—”

“did they both see them?”

Blue let go of his wrists and dropped his hands by his sides. He nodded solemnly.

Killer was stunned. Is that why Dusk decided to leave him? He finally saw how pathetic he was. He wouldn't want to deal with someone like that. It made sense.

“Killer,” Blue said, “Dusk and Sans are concerned for you.”

Killer cackled. “so they decided to leave me? yeah, they seemed real concerned.”

Blue’s expression grew stern. “Most of them were old, but some of them were recent.”

Killer went deathly silent. Oh. Oh yeah. He almost forgot he…

Oh god no.

“dusk saw them,” he mumbled.

He wasn't an idiot. He probably pieced it together the second he noticed there were fresher ones.

No no no no no. He wasn't supposed to see that shit. No wonder why he was so stubborn about leaving him. He knew. He knew the cause of those ones.

He knew the cause was him.

Cutting himself over a fucking argument? One that he caused and needed to apologized over? Of course Dusk wanted to get away from him. He knew how fucked up he was.

How immature. How disgusting.

Someone gently pulled him into a hug. He couldn't bring himself to push them away. He didn’t really want to.

It felt warm. It was nice.

He didn't deserve this comfort but he decided to be selfish.

It was probably a solid minute before Killer registered that it was Blue that was hugging him. Of course it was, he was the only other person in the room.

The door has apparently been closed this entire time, which is a relief. He wouldn't want random people walking down the hall to see this.

Awkwardly, he wriggled out of the hug.

His vision was currently a blurry mess which was undeniable proof that he was crying.

“I’m sorry,” Blue said.

He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for.

“If you want me to leave, I understand.”

“no,” he said, a bit too desperately. “you can stay.” He didn’t want to be alone right now.

Blue seemed to think for a moment. For a second, Killer was worried he wanted to leave, but then he smiled. “Alright, but I should get the food first. I left it outside on my bike.” He turned around to open the door and left.

Even though he knew he was just getting the food, he was still worried he wasn’t going to come back.

He really is clingy.

Instead of going back to his bed to sit down he stood there in front of the door like an idiot.

To add insult to injury, Blue didn’t look surprised to see him still standing when he got back with a picnic basket. He did, however, comment on how he didn’t lock the door.

Blue apparently also brought the picnic blanket with him. He unfolded it and spread it out on the ground to the best of his ability. There wasn't entirely enough room for it so some of it scrunched up against the legs of the beds. He also opened the blinds to let some sunlight through.

The two of them sat down on the blanket to have an indoor picnic.

He was skeptical of this guy at first, but he was warming up to him. He seemed genuine.

He was just warming up to him because he was desperate. The second Dusk left him he blindly grasped for a replacement.

He was horrible.

He almost hoped that Blue had some ulterior motive, that he was manipulating him. It’d serve him right.

But the food they were eating right now was cooked by him and he was filling the silence he didn't want to hear right now.

[soxcietyy]

hii, can i req a older bf + soft dom yuuta please?

Biker Yuta

Age gap, soft dom, Yuta being fine af in general

It was almost every night, the exact time at 1:30 am where a loud bike would pass by your house. It was so loud that it would wake you up from the deep slumber you where in.

At first you didn't think much about it when you first moved into your new house but now its been months and you kept hearing that loud bike zoom by. At some point you grew tired of it and decided tonight was the night you would confront whoever this selfish individual was. There was tones of roads that person could go on and he decided your street was the one to travel on every night? Did this person not have a job?

Grabbing your coat you slip it on and walk out in your pajama’s that consisted on small shorts and a tanktop. Checking the time on your phone you noticed it was five minutes till one. Walking out the door you stand by the mailbox with your arms crossed. The passing cars probably thinking that you weren't fully right in the head. After a few minutes of standing there you could hear the loud bike from a distance.

How where you supposed to get this person attention? you had no clue but decided to find out once it was time. As the bike got louder you step into the middle of the road. When the vehicle came into view you had to shut your eyes from how bright there headlights. Using your hand to cover your eyes from the light you could feel two hands grab you and pulled you to the side. With a gasp you turn around to see them?!

What was the biker doing here? shouldn't he be the one...

before you could finish that though a car zoomed by extremely fast. Then it hit you, you could of almost died mistaking that car for the biker.

"what are you doing in the middle of the road like that? you could of gotten hurt." A male voice said from behind that helmet.

"I thought it was you!" you say grabbing you heart that almost popped out of your chest

"Me? either way you shouldnt be doing that. Arnt you supposed to be in bed at this time?" He asks as he sat you down on his bike.

"yea i actually am but a loud bike likes to go through my neighborhood, waking me and everyone else up! Do you know how much sleep iv lost because of you?" you say angrily.

grabbing his helmet with both hands he slowly takes it off and shakes his helmet hair before looking at you. "Im sorry I didn't know i was bothering people with my late night rides." he says. "Im usually coming out of work at that time and well this is the way I go to make it home.

"Well how about being more quiet? I would hate for us to have issues." You put your hand on your hip.

"Issues? Now I don’t think that’s necessary. How about I make it up to you?" He mocks you by putting his hand on his hip too.

"How will you make it up to me? Do you know how much beauty sleep iv lost because of you?" You quirk your brow.

"Well before I even give you an answer I need to know about you such as name and age."

"My name is y/n and I’m nineteen." You answer.

"Seven years apart mmh, well how about you let me relieve all that stress you got pent up? If you know what I mean. My name is Yuta by the way." He places his helmet under his arm.

27 and he looks young? He’s also not bad looking at all. It wouldn’t hurt to try something with someone more experienced than you. "Sure but I would hate for your back to give out in the middle of it." You hum

"Hey I’m not that old, let’s see who’s back gives out first huh?" He chuckled as he followed you back to your shared house.

Your roommate was luckily out of town for the week so you had the whole house to yourself. It didn’t take long until he was over you. Smothering you with kisses and the string cologne he wore that smelled rich of leather. His bangs touching your forehead as they dangled over you. He still held his helmet in his hand before he dropped it so he could get a better hold of you.

The kisses were fast but deep. It was almost as if he was so desperate to get a taste of you. As he continued to kiss you his gloved hands snaked under your shirt and fondled your breast. You couldn’t lie and say he didn’t look fine with his blacked out gear. If you knew he looked like this you would have confronted him long ago.

Pulling you closer to him he removed your bottoms and his right hand glove. "Want me to teach you how a real grown man should treat a lady?" He whispers in your ear before sliding his fingers in you.

He long fingers bend and move around inside of you. He made sure to touch every spot causing you to throw your head back in pleasure. Biting your bottom lip you shake your head unconsciously. You didn’t even noticed when he crouched down and began to eat you out. That was until your legs began to shake uncontrollably.

"Yuta" you moan

Hmm? He Hums causing you to jolt from the sudden vibration. Why was he so good at this? Could it be his years of experience? Whatever it was you wanted to thank everything that made it possible for him to be with you tonight. He was eating you out so sloppily that the noises echoed in the room. His tongue glided side to side on your clit as his fingers moved in and out of you. You gripped his hair as you got closer to your orgasm. His other hand grabbed your thigh so you wound the able to escape his grasp.

When you started orgasming you moaned his name once again. Tears rolling down your face from how good it was.

Turning you over on your stomach you could hear him unbuckling his belt. Tilting your head back you could see him adjusting himself to your entrance.

"Arnt you going to take your clothes off?" You ask him wondering why he was fully clothed.

"Wouldn’t want to distract you from the main event." He smacks his hard member on your behind.

He then leaned over you and grabbed your face directing you to look at your pile of stuffed animals in a corner.

"Arnt you too old for those things?" He says amused.

"You can never be too old for stuffed animals" you mumble.

Without saying another word he slammed right into you. Your eyes widen at the feeling of being filled up. You don’t think you’ve ever had something this big inside of you. Squeezing your eyes shut you feel how he slides in and out of you smoothly.

"There you go, you’re taking me so well. Thought you would have been crying for me to stop." He says as he quickens his pace. You grip onto your blankets as he slams in and out of you. Each thrust getting deeper and harder. You could hear him breathing heavily next to you ear. You could also heard how the necklaces and chain that he wore cling together with every move. His non gloved hand moved under you and began to pull on your nipple as he continued with his pace.

"You just so cute." He says as he kisses your head, your cheek and your shoulder. "I think I’m gonna start bothering you even more if it mean we get to do this everytime." He mumbles. "Not going to lie I was having second thought about this but I’m so glad I went along. You feel so fucking perfect around my cock." He wraps his arms around your body and slams you all the way into him until he reached places you never thought were possible.

Your jaw drops as he doesn’t let go. Your eyes rolling back at this new painful yet pleasurable feeling. "Yuu" you cry out trying to catch your breath but him hearing you say his name like that turned a switch on for him. He fucked you while you were still being lifted up. Your feet not being able to touch the ground as he used you like his personal cock sleeve. You squirm in his arms being overwhelmed by everything but he held a tight grip on you. At some point you stopped trying and gave in. Your toes curling as you orgasmed once again coating his member in white.

"Easy now, just bear with me for a minute I’m almost there." He groans.

After a few more slams he finally finished inside of you.

He placed you back down slowly and collapsed on top of you. Breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath.

"Fuck, are you On birth control? Or do you need me to get you a plan B?"

[whats-it-mean]

What having your very own Knight is for ☆

KNIGHTS x Reader (separate) saving you from a creep

A/N - celebrities and idols get harassed fairly often (sadly) so i felt like this made sense ^^ also im not very good at writing arashi or leo VERY SORRY il try to improve as i write more for Knights. Most of these can be read as platonic but Izumi and Ritsu’s parts are slightly more romantically-coded because… im down bad

TW - People who wont take no for an answer >:(

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Intro

You clenched your fist as you desperately tried to pull it away from the grasp of the person in front of you, who had grabbed you by the wrist to stop you from getting away.

“Let go of me-”

The person in front of you only scoffed, tightening their grip on your wrist before grinning down at you. You could feel your fight or flight response kicking in, and you mentally flipped through your options in that moment, before you snapped your head up at the sound of footsteps drawing near.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Leo Tsukinaga

You could barely process everything with how fast it happened, but suddenly you felt your wrist being released, and the next thing you could see was the well known King Leo, standing in front of you with an arm outstretched, his eyes narrowed in an uncharacteristically serious expression.

There was a moment of silence, Leo staring directly at the individual across from him, before breaking into a pout and placing his hands on his hips.

“That’s not very nice, ya know.” He huffed, taking a moment to glance over his shoulder towards you. “You okay?” You nodded, to which he properly turned around to face you, now completely ignoring your aggressor. “How could he!? Are you hurt? Here, we should go back to the Knights’ practice room…” He turned back around to face the other individual, who was watching, dumbfounded. “I’m not done with you, either! Hmmph. rude. What makes you think they’d even wanna hang around with a loser like you?”

You blinked at the boy’s antics, simply watching in awe as he continued to fire off insults and them, grinning slightly any time that they showed a reaction. After a moment, you heard a scoff and they simply turned and walked away, clearly upset.

Leo turned back to you. “Well! Now that that’s taken care of… Let’s go do something fun, ‘kay?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Arashi Narukami

It was as if the breath left your body as Arashi resorted to grabbing you carefully by the hand and glaring directly into the eyes of them, showcasing a surprising amount of strength as she pulled their hand away from your wrist without a word. She paused for a moment, giving them the dirties glare you had ever seen her give, so much so that you got shivers.

The moment she could, she turned on her heel and ushered you away in a rush, making sure to keep her touch on your hand gentle, her expression slightly anxious. The moment you two rounded the corner and she felt you were far enough away, she placed her hands on your shoulders.

“Are you alright? Did they hurt you?” She asked, voice pitched slightly higher than usual.

“I- Im fine.”

Arashi looked you up and down as if inspecting for ay sort of damage, glancing once around the corner once to make sure your aggressor was gone before leaning forward and bringing you into her arms, holding you as close to her as possible as if it would bring her some solace.

“I was so worried for you. Next time that happens, call me, okay?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Izumi Sena

“I said let go of---”

You were cut of by the undeniable feeling of Izumi’s arm wrapping around your shoulder, as without even sparing a glance behind you, you knew he wasn’t happy. At the sight of him, the person in front of you released your wrist instantaneously, and Izumi slowly stepped back, bringing you with him.

All the silver-haired boy did was sigh, holding you ever so slightly closer before finally averting his glare, which had been trained on your aggressor the whole time.

“You really shouldn’t touch what is’t yours.” He muttered, taking one moment to glance over the other’s figure- most likely to memorize their face in hopes of talking to them later, in private- before starting to walk away, arm still around your shoulder to assure you stayed by his side.

“You had me worried there, you know.” He huffed, glancng around like he was on edge. “It’s a good thing I’m here to keep you safe.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Ritsu Sakuma

All you could see when you looked up from the ground was the familiar white of Ritsu’s favorite sweater as he stood in front of you, reaching out a hand and giving a lazy shove to the person in front of him. Despite his usual tired way of going about things, you could sense how tensed up he was.

“Oi. Leave them alone.”

An immediate sense of safety washed over you, as you took a step forward to peek over his shoulder as he stared down at your now very nervous aggressor. He glanced in your direction for a moment, assuring himself that you were alright, before turning back.

“You know-” He let out a quick yawn. “Me and my brother are vampires. I wouldn’t suggest messing with people dearest to us” He narrowed his eyes at them for a moment, watching until they left in a hurry. Ritsu turned to you, almost immediately leaning onto you and closing his eyes once they were gone. “You okay?”

“Yeah- Thanks, Ritsu.”

“Any time. I can’t have you getting hurt, now can I?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Tsukasa Suou

You could tell when he stepped protectively in front of you that Tsukasa was nervous, but he stood his ground nonetheless, keeping up his chivalrous nature. He kept his chin tilted upwards, attempting with as much confidence as he could muster to look like he wasn’t anxious.

“You need permission to touch someone.” He said, voice sharp as he stood there, staring down at your aggressor. 

They opened their mouth to say something, most likely some sort of shitty comeback, but you didn’t really hear as your mind was still struggling to catch up to you- all you could really focus on was how thankful you were that Tsukasa had arrived to save you. And the fact that he was trying so hard to appear strong for you- it was adorable.

You could sense Tsukasa falter at their comment, but he maintained his disposition. He muttered some sort of threat regarding ‘The student council president’, and they finally gave up and left. The moment they were out of earshot, Tsukasa let out a sigh of relief and turned to you, fawning over you in a rather panicked manner until you assured him you were fine and they hadn’t done anything.

“God… I’m so glad you’re safe. I’m not sure if I’d forgive myself otherwise.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── End

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Do Us Both A Favour

Anselm Vogelweide x afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • Kinktober 2024 Masterlist • Day 21: Smoking

Summary: Anselm doesn't seem to be as intimidating as others perceive him to be, at least when he's talking to you.

A/N: This is mainly fluff, I'm sorry.

Warnings: smoking, flirting, innuendo, not beta read, please let me know if I have missed a warning!

Word Count: 1248

You were part of a team hired to catalogue a collection of antique books. It wasn’t the first time you’d done this job, but this was definitely the largest and most varied collection you’d seen from a single individual. 

There wasn’t one room where there wasn’t books. Including an interesting set of laminated novels in the bathroom that were presumably to stop the bath water from splashing on the pages.

You were currently working on a bookcase in a secluded room on the third floor, taking quick notes in your notebook that you would transfer onto your computer later. 

The room opening made you jump, despite how gentle it was. 

“Oh, my apologies.” 

You recognised him instantly, despite this being the first time you’d actually seen him in person. The head of your team had warned you about him quite thoroughly - everyone was to be on their best behaviour when Mr Vogelweide was around.

“No, erm, no, please, I’m sorry, this is your house.” You give him a small bashful smile that he grins at, chuckling lightly. 

He shakes his head, taking a few steps inside. His brace squeaks with every step. He’s wearing a sharp dark teal suit that compliments him immensely. “I’ll put this out.” He says kindly, gesturing to the cigar in his left hand. 

“Oh, no, it’s fine, really.” You say without thinking, wanting to be polite. 

He quirks an eyebrow at you as he moves to his desk, “You smoke?”

You shake your head. 

“Well, I really should put it out then. Manners, you see.” He opens a side draw and pulls out an ornate and heavy looking glass ashtray. 

“Unless,” he smiles, “would you like to see a trick?” 

“A trick?” You turn fully.

He nods, “A trick.” There’s a little gleam in his eyes as he takes the cigar, the smoke wafting into the air. He presses the cigar against his lips and then, with a rather dramatic sleight of hand, it disappears. 

He shows you his empty hands, revelling in your surprised look, before he makes it reappear from his left ear. 

“How did you do that?” 

Anselm grins, “an old party trick.” He lightly presses the lit end into the ashtray. “I’m afraid it takes a lot more for me to reveal my secrets than a simple request, even if it is from a very beautiful person such as yourself.” 

You wish your words didn’t fail you, that heat wasn't burning under your skin. From everything you’d been told Mr Vogelweide had seemed like some twisted miser ready to snap and scream at anyone at any given notice. Instead, he seemed painfully charming. 

“My second trick, seems to be robbing you of your words.” He smiles cheekily as you shake your head ever so slightly, trying to break out of that hypnotic spell you had willfully fallen under. 

“I’m sorry, I…”

“You say sorry, far too much, my sweet.” He’d given you a cheeky wink before he collected a ledger from his desk and left the room, bidding you good day. 

.

It was Tuesday when you next saw him, he’d brought you a cup of sweet honey and lemon tea as you were working in the drawing room. Smiling as he placed the tray next to you. 

“For you.” 

“I, oh,” you smile, blinking heavily as your mind catches up with reality. “Thank you. You didn’t need to.” 

“Oh, but I wanted to.” He sat down, taking a sip of his own drink. 

“Thank you,” You repeat, shifting a little from your place on the floor, it was easier to look at the bottom shelf that way. 

“How is the work coming along?” He asks and you were sure he already knew the answer. But he listens intently as you explain passionately about his collection, smiling when you ask him small questions. 

On Wednesday he invites you to have lunch with him. Seemingly delighted when you agree and sat down in the day room with your packed lunch. Commenting that it was heartwarming to see someone you had prepared their own food. And then grinning like a madman when you’d playfully teased him about it. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry that we don’t all have personal chefs, Mr Vogelweide.” 

He snorts, “Anselm, please. You are far too lovely to have my last name in your mouth.” 

You were used to his kind words by now, sure that it was just something he did with everyone. 

You laugh, “And what is that supposed to mean?” 

“Exactly what I said, my dear.” 

“I think your surname is lovely.” You nod playfully to punctuate the sentence, knowing by now that he always reacts positively to sincerity mixed with light teasing. 

“Hmm,” the sound grumbles in his chest. “But you like Anselm, more yes? You agree that it is lovelier?” He inches a little closer as he talks, pulling a face to make you laugh. 

Some of your colleagues began to notice your friendliness, started to ask you to ask Anselm if they needed more information on certain volumes. Their perceptions of him being so intimidating weren’t surprising, but you found it a little odd that you couldn’t convince them otherwise. 

“Would you like a scotch?” Anselm asked.

You pause, halfway through your sandwich and glance at the clock. “It’s 12:35.”

“Oh, vodka then?” 

You scan his face, looking for any sign of insincerity and find none. “Are you teasing me?” 

He smiles, “Terribly, I’m afraid. You were away with the fairies.” He waves his hand.

“I was not.” You swallow, you do not want to admit you had been distracted looking at his face. 

“You most certainly were, what was the last thing I said?” 

“Do I want a scotch?” 

He chuckles, “Before that?” 

The small pause you take is enough for him to beam in triumph. 

“Ah ha, see, my dear?” He wags a finger playfully at you. “Am I boring you so?” 

“No.” You answer a little too quickly. 

“No? Well, I’m not sure if I am so convinced by your protest.”

“Anselm, that’s not fair.” You squirm a little under his gaze.

“What is unfair is you using my first name now of all times.” He leans a little closer, obviously amused. “Tell me, what has you so distracted?” 

“I… nothing.” 

“You’d be a terrible poker player, my dear.” He preens a little. 

“I would not.” 

“Then tell me.” He raises his chin ever so slightly, daring you. 

“I… wasn’t…”

“You… weren’t?” He teases, delighting in your discomfort. “Was it dirty is that why you won’t tell me?” 

Again, you take too long to answer.

“Oh, it was.”

“No, no,” you laugh in spite of yourself, “Stop, it wasn’t.” 

“I’m sure it was, it’s always quiet ones like you that end up into the most depraved things.” 

“I, what, no,” your giggles are becoming harder to control. 

“It takes one to know one, after all.” He lightly takes your hand in his, stroking the back with his thumb. 

“I have no interest in whatever depraved things you are into.” 

He chuckles, “I very much doubt that.” “Do you?” You pull a face and he laughs harder. 

“Yes, especially when you’ve been staring at me like you want to jump my bones for the last fifteen minutes.” 

You freeze, unable to even deny it. 

Anselm grins wickedly, pressing closer and whispering in your ear. “How about I do us both a favour, and instead of waiting around, I jump yours?” 

Thank you for reading!

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[winchestershiresauce]

Dandelion Wine

Summary: When Halsin joins Gale and Tav in the bedroom for the first time, they all get more than they bargained for. This is a tale of intimacy, multiple orgasms, and trying new things.

Gale x f!Tav x Halsin; Halsin x f!Tav; Gale x Halsin; Gale x f!Tav

7851 words

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Smut, M/F, M/M, polyamory, oral sex (f and m receiving), squirting, unprotected PIV, processing trauma, insecurity, discomfort interrupting sex, come eating, so much more

A/N: I think I left a piece of my soul in this fic - let me know if you like it! Comments and reblogs always much appreciated.

--

The first time Halsin joins them, Gale insists that he only wants to watch. Despite being intellectually on board with multiple relationships, he’s worried that his body will remain firmly in the monogamous camp. He loves Tav, and he trusts her with every fiber of his being, but it still feels overwhelming and a bit scary to imagine sharing such a vulnerable experience with anyone other than her. Hells, he still finds himself feeling self-conscious in his most intimate moments with her, through no fault of her own.

Before Halsin arrives, Gale paces back and forth through the room. He and Tav have discussed seemingly every aspect of the situation to death and back, but he still feels like he is about to jump from great heights with no backup parachute.

Tav walks into their room at the inn with an armful of water carafes and fruit. When she sees the tension in Gale’s body, his shoulders nearly at his ears, her smile fades to a look of concern. He’s thankful that it’s not a look of pity – he’s not sure he could handle that at this moment – but a loving glance with worry behind her eyes.

“I’m afraid they’ll charge us extra for damages if you wear a hole in the floor with your pacing.” She sets the drinks and snacks down on the table in the corner and strides over to where he’s now frozen in place.

“I’m sorry, my love. I know that we’ve been planning this for weeks but I can’t help but find myself feeling terribly nervous. Granted, I’m also excited. I want to see how everything will go, but the nerves won’t settle.” Tav brushes a strand of hair out of his face and tucks it behind his ear. He melts into her touch.

“My silly wizard, there is nothing to apologize for. It’s perfectly natural to be both excited and nervous about something, especially something that’s so new to you! In fact, I’d be more concerned if you weren’t nervous at all. This is a big step and no matter how it goes, some things will change. However, I need you to remember that your comfort and security are just as important as mine and Halsin’s, so I need to be sure that you’ll speak up if you want anything to stop or slow down.” Gale sighs and takes her hands into his. His thumb strokes over the soft skin of her knuckles as he ponders his reply.

“I will, I promise. I believe that you and I have practiced enough that I can say what needs to be said in the moment. I know how to stop things and I will do so if necessary.” He brings their hands up to his mouth and places the softest of kisses to each individual knuckle on her left hand. “I don’t want to back out of this if you’re worried about that,” he adds.

“And if you did want to back out, that would be more than fine! There are plenty of other things we could do while we’re here that don’t involve potentially opening partially healed wounds in the name of sexual exploration.” There’s a slight tease in her tone, but he knows she’s sincere. He’s always admired the way that she can still use humor in any situation without taking away from the significance.

“I know, and thank you. I want to reiterate that I want this, I merely need a bit more reassurance than I expected to.”

“Good thing I brought extra, then.” She grins. He’s not sure he’ll ever get over the butterflies in his belly when she looks at him with such kindness and love. She’s the first person – unless you count Tara – that he knows loves him for every aspect of himself and not just his intellect or what he can do for her. Somehow, she looks his flaws right in the face and draws them into her heart.

Just then, there's a knock at the door. Tav doesn't move to answer it yet, searching Gale's face for any minute reaction. “Do you want me to tell him to wait? I need to make sure you're in the right headspace before he comes in.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm okay. I'm ready. I’ll let him in.” Gale places a kiss on Tav’s forehead and glides over to the door. When he opens it and sees the calm and patient smile on the elf’s face, Tav notices how the tension dissolves from his body.

“Gale! You look well!” Halsin claps a hand on Gale’s shoulder and gives him a reassuring squeeze. A grin spreads across the wizard’s face as his body remembers how calm he tends to feel in Halsin’s presence. There's something about the other man that makes Gale feel secure and cared for, which helps many of his worries dissipate.

“As do you, my friend,” Gale greets him and steps aside to let him stride into the room. Halsin approaches Tav, and Gale is surprised that the look of joy and reverence on her face does not spur jealousy but instead spreads warmth through his chest. He adores being on the receiving end of such a look, and he is glad to find that he loves it all the same no matter who brought that look to her face.

Halsin towers over Tav, resting the heel of his hand on her collarbone so that his fingers brush the side of her neck and his thumb can trace the shape of her jaw. “My heart,” he purrs, locking eyes with her as if gazing into her very soul.

She presses her palm against his chest and feels his heart beating strongly beneath her touch. She’s always amazed how he can remain so calm in the face of anything, so in tune with his own body that his control never seems to falter. Her eyes drift closed and he kisses her forehead, unknowingly mirroring the movements of her other lover moments ago.

“My bear.” She melts into him as he caresses the nape of her neck.

Gale watches them from the other side of the room and begins to feel a twinge of something in his gut. They look so happy and he can’t help but notice the way their bodies fit so well together and how natural their every movement looks. He sighs, lost in thought as his mind begins to drift toward the pattern of worry that had plagued him earlier. He’s sure that he wants to do this – wants to give Tav and Halsin a chance to let their intimacy blossom – but he can’t stop the complicated feelings swirling through him like smoke from smoldering embers.

Gale moves past them to make himself comfortable in the overstuffed armchair across from the bed. His arms rest awkwardly at his sides as he watches Halsin’s mouth cover Tav’s. She groans into the kiss, pressing herself firmly into the elf’s hold. Gale’s stirring anxieties and jealousies are interrupted by the slightest twitch of interest from his cock when he sees Halsin’s large hand spread across her ass and press her pelvis into his.

When Tav pulls away from the kiss, eyelids heavy and cheeks flushed, she lets out a deep sigh. The look of longing on Halsin's face is intoxicating and she can't believe that it's for her. She smiles up at him, arousal stirring deep within her. Before she gets lost in him, she knows she must check in with her wizard.

She pats Halsin’s chest once before setting her sights on Gale, biting her lip in an attempt to stop her from overthinking. Crawling into Gale’s lap, she puts her knees on either side of his hips and drapes her arms around his neck. Her eyes bounce back and forth between his before dotting a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Are you sure that you want this?” she asks. She can see him chewing on the inside of his cheek. “There's still time to change your mind.”

The nervousness on his face softens a bit as he does his best to read the look his partner is giving him. “I do want this, Tav. I want you to have fun.” He smiles.

“I want you to enjoy it too, though.” She twirls a strand of his hair around her finger as she scans his face for signs of discomfort.

“I will. I get to watch two of my favorite people get lost in each other in a way they haven't before.” His hands rest against her ribs, his thumbs rubbing against the fabric of her shirt in reassurance.

As she leans in close, her breath tickling the shell of his ear, he can’t resist moving his hands down to settle on her hips.

“Are you sure you just want to watch?” She nips at his earlobe and his fingers reflexively dig into her sides. She grins when she feels him begin to harden against her inner thigh, and Gale swallows heavily but nods.

“For now, yes.” She pulls back just far enough to catch his gaze and strokes her thumb across his cheekbone. He does his best to convey sincerity in his smile, his gaze refusing to waver.

“If at any point you change your mind, don’t hesitate to jump in.” She smirks. Tav scrapes her fingernails along the stubble of his beard on the underside of his jaw as she stands up, reveling in the blown pupils that stare up at her. She feels a hand snake around her waist and warmth envelop her as Halsin steps up behind her. He sets his chin on Tav’s shoulder and gazes down at the other man with a look that Gale can't quite place.

“Yes, please join in the fun if you feel at all inclined.” Halsin’s low, husky tone sends a shiver through Tav and to her core, but Gale feels it too. He can’t deny the way the sensual quality of Halsin’s voice affects him. Gale's eyes shift between their eager faces, and he nods.

“I certainly will, should the desire arise.” His smile is soft and genuine despite the nerves bubbling beneath the surface. Gale places his hand over Halsin’s on Tav’s hip and the two men share an understanding and intimate look.

Halsin pulls Tav back against him and begins peppering open-mouthed kisses all over her neck and shoulder. She strokes her thumb lovingly over the back of Gale’s hand as she feels herself melt into the elf’s hold. Arousal already blooming in her center, she spins in his arms and tangles her fingers into Halsin’s luscious locks. She crashes her lips against his with force. He takes short steps backwards toward the bed, dragging Tav along with him, his long fingers splayed across her lower back. Tav moans as she feels Halsin’s erection growing harder, chasing his pelvis with hers. He plops down onto the bed and pulls her immediately into his lap.

Gale’s eyes flit over the two of them and to each spot where their bodies touch, his mind attempting to process and catalogue all of the thoughts and sensations that run through him. Just moments ago, it had been his lap that she ground herself into. He could still feel the lingering warmth of her where she had pressed herself into him, and his fingers flex in response as if grabbing onto her. Watching Halsin’s mouth latch onto her throat, Gale groans at the sound that escapes her lips. His cock is more insistently calling for his attention, but he wants to wait until his head is on straight before addressing it.

Halsin pulls Tav’s top over her head and growls at the sight of her bare breasts hanging heavily in front of his face. His teeth skate across the skin of her chest and he sucks a nipple into his mouth, causing her to throw her head back in pleasure. Gale’s eyes darken as Halsin kneads her other breast roughly and she drags her clothed core over the large bulge in the front of his pants.

After a few moments of heavy petting, Halsin suddenly stands up, forcing Tav upright with him, and turns them around so that he can push her backwards onto the bed. She lays back and watches him through her lashes as he undoes the laces on her bottoms and pulls them off of her. Gale can’t help but groan as he sees her wetness glistening deliciously in the dim light when her thighs drift apart for the elf.

“My dear magic man, I have no idea how you ever leave that tower of yours when you have a woman this delectable in your bed.” Tav’s breath catches in her throat as Halsin gently caresses her bare thighs with his calloused fingers. He kneads the soft, supple skin there, licking his lips at the sight of her spread out before him. Eager to feel her skin against his, Halsin strips himself bare without much fanfare. Before he does anything more, he turns to address the man across the room: “What do you think, Gale, should I give her my tongue or my fingers first?”

Another groan escapes Gale’s lips and he presses the heel of his hand down into his growing erection, trying to relieve some of the tension and overcome the arousal that threatens to overtake him. “She prefers– t-tongue,” he answers, his voice nearly failing him.

When Halsin suddenly drops to his knees at the end of the bed, pulls Tav to the edge, and slides his tongue through her folds from hole to clit, Gale stops fighting the temptation and shoves his hand in his trousers to wrap around his needy cock. He knows how sweet she tastes and finds he loves getting to watch Halsin finally experience what he's long fantasized about.

Tav gasps at the immense pleasure of her lover’s practiced tongue as Halsin continues to work her over. He presses his face into her cunt like he'll never be able to get enough and sucks her clit into his mouth. It feels so good that she could pen sonnets, if only her brain were able to form words.

Her breaths come shallow and quick as he flicks the tip of his tongue over her sensitive bud, and Gale’s fist tightens painfully around his cock, still resisting the urge to stroke himself. He had expected it to eat him alive to see the love of his life squirming in pleasure on someone else's tongue, but he finds that he relishes taking notice of all of Tav’s subtle, delicious reactions to the way Halsin devours her.

Halsin hums and looks up at Tav from between her legs. Her eyelids are heavy and her mouth hangs open, unable to focus on anything but the delectable onslaught between her thighs. “How’s our wizard doing?” he asks her as his pointer finger teases around her slick entrance. He continues to lap at her wetness with his flattened tongue, but his eyes are watching her face. Her head lolls to the side, she looks over at Gale, and her breath catches at the sight of him.

Gale’s face is flushed, redness spread across his cheekbones, and his jaw is clenched. While one hand is shoved deep into his pants, shaking as he tries to hold back from pleasing himself, the other is balled up tightly against his thigh. He looks like he's halfway to being drunk but still wound so tight that he could easily snap.

“Good,” Gale answers before Tav can, his voice tight. Halsin glances his way and finally notices the way Gale is restraining himself. While holding eye contact with the other man, Halsin thrusts two fingers into Tav in one quick, smooth motion. Gale sees her body tense at the surprise of the pleasant intrusion and a shudder runs through him.

“You like what you see?” the druid asks, cocking an eyebrow. Gale nods and pink flushes up his neck and to his ears. Halsin flashes him a smile. “You don't have to hold back, you know.” Gale looks between them, assessing. “Even if you don't join us physically, we want you to be a part of things.” Gale is so turned on but his skin prickles with self-consciousness as their attention is directed at him. Tav props herself up on her elbows to get a better look while Halsin continues to stretch her open with his thick digits.

“Can I at least see what you're doing over there, my love?” Her mouth is agape from the pleasure coursing through her. Her words paired with the blissed-out, eager look on her face is enough to give Gale the confidence he needs to make himself more comfortable.

Tav watches, enraptured, as he stands from the chair and begins to remove his clothes. Despite his shyness, with two gorgeous sets of eyes on him, he takes his sweet time unbuttoning his shirt. The way neither of them can take their eyes off of every sliver of skin he reveals has him feeling powerful in ways he never expected.

As the fabric of his shirt pools on the floor at his feet, his fingers move to the laces on the front of his trousers. After they're unlaced, he slips his thumbs into the waistband and pauses as if considering his next move. Tav licks her lips in anticipation and Gale shoots her a small smirk before shucking them off in one motion. His aching cock springs free and stands at attention, though he suddenly feels a bit vulnerable and overexposed.

Tav notices the shift in his expression and sits up, ready to go to him, but Halsin speaks first. “Oak Father preserve me…” he sighs. “Aren't you a sight to behold?” Gale blushes at the praise and Tav settles back again, smiling at the way a flush of pink blooms through his chest. “Will you come over here so I can get a better look at you?”

Gale nods shyly and takes a few steps to approach where Halsin is crouched next to the bed. His eyes scan the scene before him: the light sheen of sweat glimmering on Halsin's skin, the slick wetness covering the fingers of his right hand where they pump in and out of Tav, and the thick heavy cock that juts out between Halsin's tree trunk thighs.

Gale's never been with a man before, but he thinks that if he'd met more men like Halsin, that may not have been the case. He salivates wondering what it might taste like to have the druid on his tongue. Would he be sweet and tangy like Tav? Wet and earthy like the forest after a rain shower? He longs to find out but isn't quite sure if he's ready yet. Feeling brave, he reaches out to brush a sweaty piece of hair off Halsin's forehead and the larger man brushes a kiss against the inside of Gale's wrist.

Gale turns his head toward Tav in an attempt to hide his blush from the man who caused it. She gives him a soft, encouraging smile but he's distracted by the continued movement of Halsin's fingers. Gale watches how they curl and rub inside of Tav and he reaches out to draw circles around her clit with his thumb.

“It's awfully difficult to look but not touch,” Gale explains, and Halsin chuckles.

“I know what you mean… Just look at the state of you.” Halsin nods to where Gale's cock twitches in delight, a bead of arousal escaping from the tip.

Gale feels like his brain short-circuits as it floods with images of the elf’s hands all over him. He wants it, wants it so bad he can hardly think of anything else, but the analytical side of his brain is whirring away, trying to figure out what it all means.

“You– you can touch me,” Gale whispers. Tav clenches around Halsin's fingers in anticipation and surprise, and she lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

“Are you sure, Gale? It's only enjoyable if you really want it.” Halsin looks up at the wizard and attempts to read the look on his face. Gale looks nervous and pent up beyond belief, and Halsin knows he has to be prepared for a sudden change of heart. He won't deny the man what he wants, he'll simply make the environment as comfortable and conducive to experimentation as he can.

“I want you to touch me.” Gale pulls his hand away from Tav and sets it on Halsin's shoulder for stability. Halsin nods with a smile.

Halsin scissors his fingers inside Tav to coat them in her slick before he pulls them out of her. Gale watches his every movement and his throat tightens as he sees Halsin's hand, covered in her juices, moving in his direction. His eyes grow wide as he realizes what Halsin is going to do right before Halsin wraps his lubricated hand around Gale's shaft.

The warmth and wetness is overwhelming and Gale goes rigid. It feels so good and yet so foreign to have Halsin's hand on him that he's worried he might explode. His eyes slam closed and his grip on the elf’s shoulder tightens until his fingernails threaten to break skin as Halsin slowly strokes Gale's cock.

But it's too much.

He isn't ready. He wants to backtrack.

Halsin immediately picks up on the shift in Gale's demeanor and pulls his hand away.

“I'm sorry, I–” Gale stammers and Halsin pats his hip in reassurance. Tav sits up and takes one of Gale's hands in hers.

“There is no need for apologies,” Halsin replies, “It was too much too fast.” Gale nods and refuses to look at either of them, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“We can stop,” Tav adds, pressing a kiss to Gale's palm. He jerks his head to look at her.

“No! No, don't stop. I merely bit off more than I could chew for a moment, but please continue. I only need a moment, and then I want to watch you unravel for him.” Gale's eyes darken as he looks between the other two and Halsin’s cock throbs at his words.

“Then let's take a moment to ground ourselves and breathe,” Halsin suggests. He rests one hand on Tav’s thigh and the other hangs at his side, wanting to comfort Gale but not wanting to overwhelm him.

Tav’s fingertips delicately trace over the lines traversing Gale's palm. Gale closes his eyes and focuses only on her calming touch and his breathing. His other hand still rests on Halsin's shoulder, giving him a sense of stability. He finds himself wanting a comforting touch from the elf as well, but doesn't trust his body's reaction to the sensation.

As the three of them sit in silence, a tangle of soft intimate touches, Gale's breathing begins to slow. He tunes out the worries and focuses on the connection that he feels between them. Opening his eyes, he catches Tav’s gaze and a soft smile tugs at his lips. His thumb rubs over Halsin's shoulder before he moves it to cradle Tav’s face. Gale presses his forehead to hers and they melt into each other for a moment.

“I love you,” Gale murmurs. His lips find hers for a soft, lingering kiss that manages to communicate a sense of both trust and longing.

“I love you,” Tav replies. Foreheads pressed together, they stare into each other's eyes for a moment and take it all in.

Gale presses his mouth to hers again, gentle and chaste, before he turns back to Halsin. “Show her just what a powerful archdruid is capable of.” He shoots the other man a wink, claps him on the back, and starts to pad over to his chair.

“As you wish,” Halsin growls and presses his face into the junction of Tav’s thighs. She yelps in surprise as his tongue plunges between her folds, and she grabs the elf’s hair for support. Halsin wastes no time shoving three fingers into her tight, dripping pussy and her hips jerk against his face. His assault is relentless and she knows she won't last long as he fills her with his fingers and worships her clit with his tongue.

Gale groans at the delightful sounds that spill from her throat as he watches Tav squirm. A loud squelching fills the room as Halsin fucks her with his thick fingers. She's babbling, hardly able to string coherent sounds together, as the nerves throughout her body thrum with pleasure. As he alternates between open-mouthed kisses to her vulva and his tongue frantically flicking over her aching clit, he curls his fingers back toward himself inside her to rub harshly over the spot that makes her see stars. Her knees nearly give out as the dam suddenly breaks and she's coming.

A broken sob escapes from Tav as her whole body curls inward and her walls spasm around Halsin's fingers. Her juices spill over his chin and his hand and he just can't get enough. She's so wet and so sweet that it may as well be honey that gushes over his tongue as he laps up everything she gives him.

Gale's cock leaks as he watches the larger man nearly drown in the ecstasy that flows from Tav, and he digs his fingertips into the arms of the chair in an attempt to maintain his composure. As much as he wants to touch and be touched, he finds he takes immense pleasure in watching her fall apart. His favorite part of being intimate with Tav is getting to witness the way her composure crumbles when she's reached a certain point. In most areas of her life, she's so put together and eloquent that it's a special privilege to see her in such a raw state when she's hardly more than a babbling mess.

The sounds Halsin makes are animalistic as he works Tav through her climax. He's so engulfed in her that he thinks he'd crawl inside her if he could, just to feel her over every inch of him. When she gets too sensitive to handle his mouth on her anymore, she tugs on his hair to drag him back up to his feet. Immediately, his mouth is on hers as he guides her back toward the bed.

Something in Halsin has snapped and his gentle, loving caresses have been replaced with raw, primal need. Tasting herself on his lips and tongue does something similar to Tav and her hands are everywhere, needing to map every inch of him.

She pants hard, trying to catch her breath from an intense orgasm, as his body covers hers on the bed. His fingers tangle in her hair and he grips tightly, desperate to hold her close. His mouth moves from her lips to her jaw to her neck, kissing and sucking at every spot of skin in his reach. Her fingertips dig into his back, trying impossibly to bring him closer to her. She needs to touch him, taste him, feel him, but it's not enough.

Tav reaches between Halsin's legs and wraps her hand around his aching cock. Halsin growls at the sensation, his face buried in her neck. His hips thrust forward on their own accord, seeking more as she grips him and slides her soft palm over his sensitive shaft.

“Need to be inside you,” Halsin grunts, his careful composure gone for the moment.

“Please,” Tav whines, begging for him to fill her.

Gale spits into his hand, deciding that he'll give in and stroke himself at the moment Halsin's beautiful cock sinks into the tight wetness of Tav’s pussy.

Tav moves to guide Halsin to her center but she doesn't move fast enough for the desperate elf, so he reaches between them to grip himself tightly and line himself up with her hole, coating the head in her slick. He looks into her eyes, about to ask for confirmation, but she nods frantically and wraps her legs around the backs of his thighs, drawing him in.

The world melts around Halsin for a moment as he plunges into the depths of pleasure. Her warm wetness engulfs him and his senses, blocking out any coherent thought. Driven by primal instinct, he begins to thrust into her hard and fast.

Gale grips his desperate cock and imagines that it's Tav’s cunt squeezing him rather than his own spit-soaked hand. He matches his strokes to the rhythm of Halsin's thrusts and it feels like a thunderstorm is brewing under his skin. He watches the giant elf’s broad, sweaty body as his thick cock impales the woman Gale loves. All uncertainty leaves him when he sees the look of ecstasy and desperation on her face – Gale knows what she needs and he revels in the gasps and whimpers she makes as she gets it.

Tav grips Halsin’s hair in a tight fist, digs the fingernails of her left hand into the meat of his tricep, and cries out at the slight sting and immense pleasure of her overfilled cunt taking everything it’s given. She’s chanting fuck , and please , and yes over and over as Halsin pounds into her.

He’s so close, unable to handle much more as his nerves crackle at the energy between them. His heart is pounding so hard he can hear the blood rushing in his ears alongside the sound of flesh striking flesh and the wet suction of Tav’s cunt trying to hold him deep inside.

Between heavy breaths, Halsin groans, “Gonna come – Where?” Gale’s hand is moving frantically up and down his cock, adding his own slapping sounds to the mix, as he hurtles toward his own climax. He can't stop watching the way Halsin's length disappears inside her as her walls grip him.

“Inside me!” Tav cries out and the desperate desire in her voice pushes both Gale and Halsin over the edge. Halsin shoves himself as deep into her depths as he can, and he paints her insides with his seed. At the same moment, Gale’s balls tighten and his hand stills as ropes of come spurt from his cock to paint his abdomen.

The sensation of Halsin’s cock pulsing and filling her sends Tav into her second climax as she spasms dramatically around him. Her cunt squeezes him tight, milking every drop it can get from him. Tav’s thighs quiver and her body shakes under him as the waves of pleasure course through her and come out of her mouth as wanton moans.

Gale's head drops back against the back of the chair as he tries to catch his breath. He holds his slowly-softening manhood and tries not to think about the mess he's made of his lap.

Halsin peppers kisses all over Tav’s face and chest as she comes down from her high, and once she catches her breath, she loosens her grip on his hair and kisses him passionately. They're both sweaty and flushed and a bit sore, but they're lost in each other for a short while. She pushes back the hair plastered to Halsin's forehead and he looks at her with such love and adoration that her heart could burst. After a few long moments drinking each other in, Halsin looks over at Gale before turning back to Tav.

“Let me go check on Gale, my heart.” The druid strokes her cheek and places a quick kiss to the corner of her dopey smile. She nods and allows her limbs to fall to the bed like dead weight, letting the normal sensations slowly return back to her body.

Gale lifts his head and watches as Halsin pulls out of her with a wince and stands. He looks at Gale with softness and a touch of mischief in his eyes as he approaches. Halsin stands over the other man and assesses the scene in front of him: his flushed cheeks, his chest glistening with sweat, the sticky mess clinging to his skin.

Gale's cheeks burn as he mistakes the look in Halsin's eyes for judgment rather than interest. “I seem to have made a bit of a mess of myself,” he tells the elf with a self-conscious chuckle.

“That you have,” Halsin hums. “Is that why you blush, handsome wizard?” Gale looks down at the floor, avoiding Halsin's gaze. There are so many thoughts and feelings going through his head and he can’t quite grasp how to process or articulate them. Halsin puts a finger under Gale's chin and tips his face so that he looks up at him. “Are you embarrassed to have enjoyed yourself?” Gale swallows heavily.

Tav is tempted to listen to their conversation but stays out of it, happily giving them as much privacy as she can without moving. Her eyelids are getting heavy, and she can feel sleep call to her.

“Perhaps.” Gale's voice is quiet and he picks at a loose thread on the arm of the chair.

“Oh, Gale,” Halsin says. “You don't have anything to be embarrassed about.” This gets Gale to look up to him, though he looks incredulous.

“Don't I? Aren't I supposed to feel possessive over my partner? What kind of man am I to get pleasure from watching her be taken and claimed by another? Shouldn't I feel discomfort? Shouldn’t I want to intervene?” His mind is racing and the words are spilling out before he can filter them. Insecurities from his past begin to bubble up and, though he tries, he can’t cast them aside anymore.

Halsin smiles gently. “It would seem that you're the kind of man who enjoys seeing your love be happy and fulfilled. Did you feel discomfort?”

Gale pauses before answering, carefully considering and taking inventory of his mind. “I did feel discomfort at first, when I was thinking about it. I was worried about how I’d react once things started happening. I know that no matter how much you mentally prepare for something, you can never truly know what you’ll do until you’re in the situation. However, once you were here and it was real, I felt much calmer. I couldn’t help but to get aroused and that overrode my thinking, which allowed me to enjoy the experience and lean into the pleasure.” Halsin mulls over Gale’s words, contemplating their meaning. He knows that ultimately, Gale’s philosophies and morals come from very different sources from his own, and he takes that into consideration as he ponders how to frame his response.

“I believe that nature itself gave us the capability to be complex and ever-changing beings, and that includes every facet of our sexuality. Whether we’re monogamous or opposed to it, or somewhere in between, is deeply personal and potentially dynamic. It’s natural to fall anywhere on that spectrum, and it’s natural for your needs and wants to shift based on circumstances. If you enjoyed yourself, and everyone involved both fully consented and enjoyed themselves, why should there be shame? What purpose would that shame serve?”

Gale sits in silence for a moment as he processes. He thinks deeply, his thoughts branching off into a thousand different directions as he tries to break it down like any other intellectual endeavor. Some parts are quick to click into place in his mind, while others are more difficult to understand and internalize. “I can concede that you make some very good points, but I have to wonder about others. In the past, with Mystra, she sought other lovers and I did not enjoy that in the slightest. Why would that be different now? Could the difference be that I somehow love Tav less than I did Mystra? That I feel less afraid to lose her and thus am less emotionally reactive?”

Halsin can’t help but chuckle that someone with such an immense breadth of knowledge can be so disconnected from the inner workings of his own mind. “Oh, Gale. You wizards certainly do enjoy overcomplicating things, don't you? Could it not instead mean that you’re less afraid to lose her because you feel secure in your relationship with Tav, whereas with Mystra you did not?”

Gale ponders that, his mind running through the different instances when Mystra found pleasure in the arms of another and comparing them to the instances when he'd discussed the same with Tav. “With Mystra, it wasn't a conversation or a choice. She told me that was how it was going to be and who was I to argue with my goddess? Her word was final and if I wanted to be with her, I had to find a way to deal with her decisions on my own–”

“I think you know that's not how a partnership is meant to be.” Halsin’s response is curt and leaves little room for argument, which manages to trigger Gale’s deep-seeded reflex to defend Mystra. He stops himself, however, as he recognizes what is happening and it surprises him.

“I suppose intellectually, I do.” Gale sighs and continues, “Things with Mystra were also different in that I was not allowed the same courtesy. While I may not have wanted to be with anyone other than her, the fact of the matter is that I would have never been allowed to be. That is, as you’re well aware, not the case with Tav.”

“Indeed, and I think those differences are enough to make this an entirely different situation. Do you?”

Gale takes in Halsin’s words and the comforting, understanding look in his eyes, and he nods. He respects the druid’s judgment, knowing it comes from many years of experience. The way he’s explained it allows the rational side of Gale’s brain to connect with the emotional side. Halsin knows what he’s talking about.

“Is there someone else you'd like to be with now, Gale?” Halsin asks tentatively.

Gale sucks in a sharp breath and looks back up at Halsin. He’s somehow surprised that the conversation has taken this turn and, despite everything he’s just bared to the other man, he tries to steel himself against the impulse to hide or deflect. He shies away from the feeling of Halsin gazing into his soul and closes his eyes before answering, “I– I’d like to be with you, Halsin. Or at least give it a try.”

The room is silent for a moment and Gale opens his eyes again. A soft smile spreads across the druid’s face in response as he takes in how open and exposed the wizard looks. Not even taking into account the fact that he’s sitting naked in front of him, the look on Gale's face is one of pure vulnerability. It’s clear that it’s not easy for him to put himself out there like this.

“I had hoped you'd say that, Gale Dekarios.” Halsin caresses the stubble on Gale's jawline with his thumb, basking in the way his eyes sparkle as he looks up at the taller man.

“You did?” Gale’s voice sounds surprised.

“Of course I did,” Halsin chuckles. He crouches down to bring himself to Gale’s level, at least physically, and gazes intently into the man's eyes. “I may have to question your wisdom if you claim to be unaware of my attraction to you.”

Gale can’t help but laugh, blushing furiously but thankful that the other man has lightened the moment. His gentle teasing breaks the tension, much like when Tav does the same. “I suppose I can admit that I've noticed some signals from you.” He glances away, feeling exposed in the intensity of Halsin's gaze, before continuing, “In my defense, you are such an open, comfortable, and confident man that it can be difficult to discern what is genuine interest and what is just you being, well, you.”

He reaches out to touch the larger man but hesitates as he isn’t sure where to start. When Halsin grins, Gale brushes the tip of his thumb over his bottom lip, marveling at how it feels to touch him while the broad elf looks at him with adoration and hunger. His lip is soft and plush, and Gale wants to feel it everywhere. Halsin purses his lips and kisses the pad of Gale’s thumb, causing the human’s breath to catch in his throat. “Kiss me,” Gale whispers.

Of course, Halsin immediately obliges. Before the words are fully out of his mouth, Halsin runs his fingers through Gale's soft waves and presses his palm against the back of his head. Halsin gently guides Gale's face toward his, slow enough to give him plenty of chances to change his mind and pull away, and presses his lips against the lips of the younger man.

Gale kisses him back sweetly and then not-so-sweetly, as his mouth drifts open to allow Halsin to deepen the kiss. His tongue slips over Gale's tongue, massaging the strong muscle. Gale tastes Tav’s juices on Halsin's tongue and it stirs something in him. His hands begin scrabbling for purchase, desperate to get a good grip and pull the elf closer, nearly dragging Halsin into his lap. He hungers for him, eager to explore every nook and cranny of Halsin's mouth with his tongue.

Gale's breathing is ragged as the two men get lost in each other. They move to stand to get closer to one another, and Gale shudders at the way Halsin's hand nearly dwarfs his face when it cups his jaw. The smaller man's fingertips dig into the elf's thick biceps as he fails to resist grinding their hips together.

Halsin's pupils are blown wide as he takes in the uncharacteristic neediness of the wizard. He wants so badly to make the less experienced man feel good, so he slides down to his knees and gazes up at Gale.

Gale lets out another shuddering breath as he attempts to process the scene in front of him: he's seen Tav in this position countless times and it never gets old, but the novelty of seeing a powerful archdruid on his knees for him is nearly overwhelming.

“May I?” Halsin asks softly after what feels like ages. Unable to trust his voice, Gale meekly nods.

Halsin runs his hands up Gale's thighs, callused fingers catching on the soft hair there, and places a single kiss on Gale's pelvic crest. He looks up at the brunette to gauge his reaction and the reverent look on his face encourages Halsin to continue. He leaves gentle pecks across Gale's soft belly, undeterred by the partially-dry spendings that coat his skin. Halsin drags his tongue across a particularly bountiful river of Gale’s spend before sucking it into his mouth, delighting in the taste of his essence. He continues to suck at the skin there, leaving a mark on the flesh, just a hair west of where Gale needs his mouth the most. Gale’s wound so tightly that Halsin can feel the tension where he touches him as he continues to place teasing kisses across the wizard’s navel and groin.

“Please,” Gale whines and Halsin’s cock jumps at the sound. The elf’s mouth hovers over the other man’s length, his hot breath caressing Gale’s hardness. The man’s hands rest on Halsin’s shoulders but clench into fists as he tries to resist pulling Halsin’s face closer.

Prolonging the torture, Halsin’s hands dance across Gale’s skin until they settle over his hips. Halsin locks eyes with Gale, smirking, and just as the desperate man is about to beg him to do something, anything , he slips Gale’s aching cock into his mouth in one fluid motion. The tension in Gale’s muscles doubles as his senses are overloaded with pleasure. Halsin’s mouth is hot and wet as he sucks Gale down until his nose is pressed into Gale’s coarse brown curls. The wizard’s legs nearly give out as his body begins to relax in response to the chorus of wondrous sensations.

Gale lets out a stream of curses under his breath as Halsin’s mouth begins to move over him. His tongue slides along the underside of Gale’s cock and the less experienced man can’t help but tangle his fingers into the druid’s long hair. He begins babbling, narrating the sensations he’s feeling and heaping praise onto the kneeling man, when he sees Tav stir out of the corner of his eye. Not wanting to wake her, he digs his front teeth into his lip to keep his voice at bay, but the monologue of nonsense continues to run through his head.

Halsin bobs his head, licking and sucking Gale like a man starved, and Gale’s hips begin moving on their own accord. He takes everything Gale is willing to give him as he works the wizard over, and he doesn’t even flinch when Gale suddenly thrusts forward, tenses, and spurts come down his throat. The elf slows his movements, greedily swallowing every drop that the other man releases and working Gale through his peak.

As Gale becomes to sensitive to handle the sensation anymore, Halsin pulls his mouth off of him but otherwise makes no attempt to move from his position. Gale breathes deeply, grounding himself by running his fingers through the druid’s soft yet tangled hair. Halsin moves to stand, caressing Gale’s sides as he does so. The room quiet around them, they stand in comfortable silence for a few moments and just breathe. Gale’s fingers are still in Halsin’s hair, Halsin’s hands rest on Gale’s hips as if stabilizing him, and they gaze into each other’s eyes. Gale doesn’t know what to say, simultaneously wanting to process everything and not wanting his mind to drift away from the current moment.

“I think it’s time to get some rest,” Halsin suggests.

“But what about you? Do you want me to return the favor?” Gale asks, his mind suddenly trying to fill in his understanding of the expected etiquette of the situation. Halsin chuckles and strokes the wizard’s cheek.

“We can save that for next time. Right now, I think Tav’s got the right idea.” They both glance over to where she lays, nude and sprawled across the bed, only one leg under the covers. An adoring smile creeps over Gale’s face as he watches her shift in her sleep. He turns back to Halsin and his eyes flit over the elf’s face, carefully cataloging every freckle, dimple, and wrinkle.

“Let me get cleaned up and then I’ll join you two,” Gale says, tipping his head in the direction of the bed.

“Will you stay?” Gale’s voice is quiet, but no longer shrouded in uncertainty. Halsin brings his hands up to the wizard’s face and smiles.

“I’d like that.” Halsin presses a gentle kiss to the other man’s lips, and Gale’s surprised at how natural it feels. Gale knows that at some point, likely the next day, his mind will take over and need to analyze every aspect of the situation, but for the moment, he feels safe and desired and loved.

Halsin smiles and caresses Gale's jaw with his thumbs. “Take your time, we’ll make sure there’s room for you.”

[scoonsalicious]

10.1 Major

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language.

Word Count: 1.5k

Previously On...: You saw Bucky's strength full force for the first time.

A/N: At my nephew's 3rd Birthday Party today. Pray for me.

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

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Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

You sighed in relief as Bucky waved a final goodbye and walked out the door. It wasn’t that you were happy to see him go… it was just that, well, you really couldn’t deal with the contents of this envelope with him there. You waited through the count of ten after he’d walked away before turning back to Zadie.

“The courier company, Zadie,” you said, your voice calmer now than it had been when you first walked out of your office. “I need to know which one it came from.”

Zadie bit her bottom lip in distress. “I’m… I’m sorry, Major,” she said. “I was checking in a group for a 1:30 session when it got dropped off. I wasn’t really paying attention. I’m sorry.”

You let out a frustrated breath of air. “It’s okay, Zadie,” you told her. “You didn’t know it would end up being important. And I’m sorry I yelled earlier. I just… well, I wasn’t expecting this and it’s thrown me for a loop.”

“Is everything okay?” Zadie asked, concern showing in her voice. “Is the business in any kind of trouble?”

You shook your head, wanting to relieve her of any worry that this had any impact on The WarZone. “No, no– everything’s fine on the business end. The stuff in the envelope is personal. I think I have an idea as to where it came from, but I need to be sure.”

“But you just told Sergeant Barnes it was business stuff,” Zadie insisted. 

“Yeah, yeah I did,” you conceded. “It concerns him, and I really don’t want him having to worry about it. At least until I have more facts.” You hated that you had lied to him about the contents of the envelope, but you would have hated the look on his face when he discovered what it was even more. 

Thanking Zadie and apologizing to her once more, you made your way back into your office. Once inside, you locked your door and dumped the contents of the envelope onto your desk. Dozens of reports and photos splashed across your workspace, each one depicting the horrific crimes of the Winter Solider in brutal detail. The final piece to fall from the envelope was a photo of Bucky, in full assassin gear, aiming a gun at the head of an unarmed older man, and in blocky all-caps lettering, the message to you: DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE FUCKING?

You knew Bucky well enough by now to know how upset these documents would make him, how he would most likely pull away from you once he saw you knew the dirty details of his crimes, but you would never. You’d meant what you’d told him on your first real date– he was not the man responsible for these atrocities; and these anonymously sent pieces of paper wouldn’t change your mind.

However, there was someone out there who clearly thought they would. Someone who assumed you would be put off by the darkness in Bucky’s history. Someone who didn’t want you to see him anymore. Honestly, the pool of individuals who knew about your relationship with Bucky was so small, there weren’t many suspects. One, however, stood out more than the rest.

You moved around to your desk chair and sat down. Picking up your phone, you dialed Zadie at the front desk. 

“Hey, Zade,” you said when she answered. “Do me a favor and have Rand come see me when he gets back from lunch. I need to have a talk with him.”

*

You spent the next forty minutes trying to figure out where the documents came from, both in terms of what courier service delivered them and where the documents might have originated from. You were a bust on both fronts, unfortunately.

Your first step was to review the security cameras in the lobby for the time in question. You watched the courier enter the building and go to the reception desk, patiently wait for Zadie’s attention, then have her sign for the envelope. Unfortunately, there was no uniform or logo indicating what company the courier worked for. You knew you should have splurged to have cameras cover the outside front of the building, on off chance the courier had gotten into a marked vehicle, but you hadn’t thought the expense necessary at the time. 

As for the provenance of the documents themselves, well, that was also a dead end. Most of the files came from the archives of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division of the United States Government. You knew S.H.I.E.L.D. had suffered an intel leak back in 2014, and it appeared that everything that had been sent to you on the Winter Soldier’s crimes were a part of that leak or had appeared as evidence in Bucky’s trial, making all of it accessible to the public, if one cared enough to go digging and knew what they were looking for.

You squeezed your eyes shut and pinched the bridge of your nose, frustrated that you’d hit another brick wall. So much for finding proof. A knock on your door drew your attention and you checked your clock. Rand would have just gotten back from lunch a few minutes ago.

You stood up and walked to the door of your office, unlocking it. 

“Hey, Major,” Rand said a bit nervously. “Zadie said you wanted to see me?”

“Yeah, Rand, come in, please,” you said, motioning for him to enter and sit down. God, you really didn’t want to be having this conversation. He took the seat on the opposite side of your desk, and you sat down in your chair, folding your hands on the desk in front of you.

“I got your package,” you said, trying to keep your voice as neutral as possible.

Rand frowned in confusion. “What package?” So, he was going to play stupid.

“The envelope you had delivered to me this afternoon,” you said.

“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about, Major. I didn’t have anything sent to you.” He seemed to consider something. “Fuck– should I have? Is it, like, your birthday or something?”

Wordlessly, you slid the envelope in question across the desk to him. He gave you a puzzled look and reached down, withdrawing the stack of papers within. You watched his eyes widen in shock and disgust as he flipped through them, one by one.

“You think I sent this to you?” he asked, affronted. “Seriously?”

You shrugged. “You’ve made your feelings about me seeing Bucky no secret,” you told him. “And you were downright rude to him when he came in earlier. I can’t think of anyone else who would be warning me about who I’m seeing.”

“Major.” Rand put the stack of papers down on top of your desk. “I may not like the guy, that’s true– but I respect the shit outta you. You’re a grown ass woman, capable of making your own decisions. I don’t necessarily agree with this one in particular, but it’s still your decision to make. Besides,” he leaned back in his chair, “in all the years we’ve known each other, when have I ever had a problem telling you you’re being a dumbass directly to your face?”

He was right– you’d known Rand for ages– you’d fought in the army together, and he’d never once shied away from giving you his opinions directly and frankly, no matter how blunt they might have been. An anonymous envelope and a cryptic warning were not the way he would go about doing it.

“Fuck,” you said, putting your head in your hands. “I’m sorry, Rand. You’re right. I just– shit. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” he said, leaning across the desk and putting a hand on your elbow, “don’t be. I get why you would have thought it was me. I can’t say I disagree with whoever sent this, but doing it without putting their name on makes them a coward. If they have a problem with you and Barnes, they should come to you directly. None of this cloak and dagger bullshit.”

You didn’t want to think about there being multiple people out there who might have a problem with you and Bucky being together, but if it wasn’t Rand (and you now truly believed it wasn’t), you’d have to face that possibility. “Still,” you said, looking up at him, “I’m sorry for accusing you without any evidence.”

Rand shrugged. “Eh, I made myself look like a pretty good suspect,” he teased. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Major,” he said, standing up to go back to work. “If they can’t even be bothered to tell you their problem to your face, they’re not worth your worry. Hell, if you can’t be swayed by an old friend like me, I say don’t let this bother you at all.”

“Thanks, Rand,” you chuckled. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

Rand nodded as he made his way to the door. “If it’s any consolation,” he added before he walked out, “Barnes really does seem to like you a lot.”

You smiled to yourself as he left, vowing to not let the anonymous sender get to you. It was quite the consolation, actually.

Quite the consolation, indeed.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[sapphicstoria]

This is going to be a long rant, but I feel more comfortable venting here than on twitter so.

I’m sorry, but I can’t stand a lot of Ch*rlastor fans. I seen one of them try to say it wouldn’t make sense for Chaggie to be endgame, because Charlie is bi and because she and Vaggie have been together for a long time. It made me so confused because how are either of those two things reasons why Charlie shouldn’t end the series with Vaggie? Her long term girlfriend that she’s in love with? And saying because she’s bi, it’d be weird for her to end dating a girl is so ????

It’s been established that Charlie is bisexual, that she’s attracted to men, and may even have had a boyfriend before dating Vaggie. They don’t have to show her dating a man, in the present, for her to be bisexual. And being bisexual doesn’t mean she has to be with a man, if she doesn’t want to. She loves Vaggie. She has never, and will never, be attracted to Alastor.

I’m tired of people constantly putting Chaggie down to praise their ship, when they could praise them without even bringing up chaggie or Vaggie. Saying she is a horrible girlfriend, that she’s not supportive enough, that she doesn’t care about Charlie. People even give Alastor Vaggie’s traits and say he “encourages” Charlie and cares about her dreams when he… does none of that. He uses her and only wants her for her powers. He doesn’t care about the hotel, and only helps because he wants to see it fail. He manipulates her and does not care about her like Vaggie does. It’s fine for fanon, but in canon he does nothing like that.

Vaggie cares so deeply for Charlie, because she is probably the first person who has ever shown Vaggie true kindness and love. They spent awhile being friends, but eventually dated and have such a strong relationship. They’re business partners, and best friends, along with being a couple. That’s one of the best types of relationships. Where you’re not just each other’s partner, but also best friend. Sure, they don’t have many too overly romantic scenes, but that’s just how their relationship is. They’ve been dating each other for years, and are adults. They probably went through their honeymoon phase, but now they’re so close that they don’t need to be overly romantic to show that they’re dating. Their scenes are perfect to show a close relationship.

But when they do have their big romantic scenes, they’re always the most beautifully animated. Like the scene of them first meeting. How Charlie didn’t even hesitate to help her, and when Vaggie finally seen there’s someone out there who does care. It was a touching moment for them.

I’ll never get over how beautiful their duet is. Not only the song, or context, but how it was animated. Their smiles, the way Vaggie was the one to sing first, when she is isn’t really a fan of singing but she knows how much Charlie loves it. The KISS. It was a perfect song, to show just how deep their feelings are for each other. And it made me bawl, when I realized it was a reprise of more than anything. Showing that Lucifer and Vaggie are the people Charlie loves more than anything.

I don’t see why people are judging them so quickly, when we’ve only seen eight episodes that were filled more with action and story than anything romantic. We’re getting more of their story in season two, even a look into their ~sexy lives~, and probably even more individual scenes of Charlie and Vaggie for their character. You don’t have to like them, but it really annoys me when I see people putting them down just to praise a mlw ship. :/ again, you can praise your ship, without having to attack Chaggie. And if you’re not able to do that, and can only bring up the positives of Ch*rlastor by picking apart chaggie as a couple, then maybe your ship just isn’t that great. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[yoongiseesawmp3]

bla bla bla (m) - hongjoong

part of the idol series.

summary: idol!hongjoong x staff!reader. it’s the thrill of being with someone off limits that pulls you to hongjoong. hushed conversations, discreet kisses, rushed sex. you can’t let anyone else at the company know that this has been going on so long, but the more time you spend with him the more madly in love you fall for kim hongjoong, leader of ateez.

word count: 15.6k

warnings: there’s so much smut, i’m sorry. afab reader. unprotected sex, semi unrealistic cum play, oral (f&m), mutual masturbation, hand stuff, public sex, spanking, panty gag, gendered terms and terms like slut/whore

masterlist

hongjoong is always trying something.

a new beat pad, your nerves, an outfit that’s totally out there. but you’re embarrassingly endeared by it all, and you do your best to hide it every day. being his main stylist makes that hard, though. you spend countless hours with him in close proximity to you, being his charming, artistic self, and you have to pretend not to eat it up. at least while other people are around. 

when it’s just the two of you though? he’s usually got you wrapped around his cock, either on your knees with your cheeks hollowed out for him, or bent over the nearest surface begging for mercy. doesn’t matter where or who can hear. he can’t get enough of you, and you can’t get enough of him. that’s what makes your job challenging, and exciting as hell.

today is no different. the boys are coming in for fittings of their new stage outfits for the next leg of the tour, and you’ve got all of hongjoong’s outfits hung before you in an orderly manner. you had also set out yeosang and jongho’s, being in charge of their outfits usually as well, but there’s enough staff here today for you each to help the members individually. that makes the fittings go by quicker so the boys can get back to work, and you and your team have more time to make adjustments if the boys need anything changed.

like always, hongjoong struts in right on time, carrying that confident air with him everywhere he goes. it’s not cockiness, per se, but he knows he’s the coolest person in any room he walks into. that drew you to him initially, because you also have to be the coolest person anywhere you go. that made you and hongjoong click instantly, ooo-ing and ah-ing over each others’ accessories, sharing what interesting things you did over the weekend, or what exciting things you were working on. if you had to admit it though, hongjoong is way cooler than you are. he would say the same about you, and he does today as he walks up to you and blatantly checks you out. 

“where’d you get that sweater?” he asks, handing you one of the coffees he’s holding. “it’s really cool. i like the yellow.” 

“why, you trying to copy me?” you ask, playing into this half-hearted gatekeeping you try to do with each other. you pretend to refuse, and later, when hongjoong is free, you take him to your favorite spots and he takes you to his. this sweater was actually from a boutique he told you about, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction just yet. 

“no?” he says easily, leaning in before he continues. “if i wanted to copy you i’d just steal this the next time i’m at your place.” he pulls back, a smirk on his lips, and as you stand there slightly stunned he smacks his lips and looks to the rack of clothes next to you. “so, just start with whatever?”

“uh, no,” you say, grabbing his hand to stop him from grabbing just anything. “you should know by now i have a system. put on the new world fit, robe and all. i made some alterations and i’m not sure they’re right for your proportions.”

“i’m sure it’s fine,” he says quietly as he takes the pieces off the hanger. then, looking at you with his eyebrow quirked, “alright if i just change here?”

“go ahead,” you motion, turning slightly to give him some privacy. you see the rest of the boys in various states of undress, san giving you an awkward little smile before he pulls his shirt off. you see a flash of jongho’s bare legs in one of the changing areas, and you’re pretty sure mingi accidentally pulled his boxers down as he took off his outside pants, but you won’t comment on it. hongjoong clearing his throat brings you back to your task, and you turn around to see he’s followed your directions, hood up and everything. you smile as he pretends to use the force, he must be spending too much time with seonghwa. ignoring him you ask, “how’s the length?”

“hm?” he asks, looking at you with a glint in his eye. you hold his gaze for a moment, challenging him to take it further. eventually you just motion to the end of the robe, asking “how’s the hem? i took it in a couple inches so you won’t trip over it anymore.”

“i wasn’t tripping over it,” he grumbles as he takes the hood down, looking at the hem anyway. “..but it is better, thank you.”

“good, now take it off.”

“cheeky.”

“just the robe,” you roll your eyes. “let me see the top.”

“it feels tighter,” he comments, flexing his arms slightly. “did you take this in too?”

“no,” you shake your head. “i might have to let it out, i heard you’ve been exercising a lot recently.” another shared look, both of you daring the other to crack. yes, hongjoong has been working out lately, but that’s just so he can get more creative with you in the sack. he’s been so insistent on trying a position that requires him to hold you up the whole time, so you told him you’d do it if he bulked up first. you’re both surely thinking of this promise currently, but wooyoung’s voice cuts through the moment.

“hey hyung, you are getting more muscle,” he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “it’s kinda sexy.”

“is it?” hongjoong asks, turning to you for confirmation. you make a face as you reply.

“eh, kinda. it’d be sexier if it didn’t create more work for me to do,” you sigh, and hongjoong rolls his eyes. as you move in closer to retake some of his measurements, just to check, he whispers low enough just for you to hear. 

“you know you like it,” he says. “what did you call them the other day? my big beefy arms?”

“and your tits,” you reply back, just as quiet, your measuring tape struggling to hold in your grasp as you measure the stretch over his chest. “your tits are nice and big now too.”

“if only there was a way for yours to get bigger,” he tsks, and you laugh as you push him back, instructing him to try on another outfit. there’s plenty that don’t need changes, or he can just look at the alterations (a new button here, a deeper pocket for the mic pack there) and give his okay to the changes. finally, you get to one of the last outfits, what you call his fireworks fit. 

“put these on,” you say, holding up a new pair of leather pants. “you wore the old ones out, but i couldn’t find the exact pair we had the first time. let me see if these look alright.”

“is this necessary?” he whines. “you know i hate getting into these.”

“yeah, but it’s so worth it when you are,” you tease, licking your lips dramatically, earning a laugh from jongho next to you. he finished a few minutes ago, not much of his wardrobe needing to be changed. he asks you a quick question about some shoes, and you make a note to get him a size up next time. when you’re done, hongjoong is dressed, eyeing himself in the mirror next to you. you walk up behind him, adjusting the shoulder seams of his top before you say quietly, “your little booty just looks so good in these.”

“little?!” he twirls around, eyes wide and offended. you can’t help the cackle you let out, surprised your comment would affect him so much. he tries to hush you, but the remaining members and stylists eye you both suspiciously. wooyoung looks like he’s about to say something when hongjoong cuts him off, “mind your business, jung.”

“you’re being loud, kim.”

“respect your elders!” hongjoong shouts back, and you can tell this session is gonna derail quickly. you place your hands on hongjoong’s shoulders, guiding him to the changing area so he’ll be out of wooyoung’s splash zone. once you’re both settled behind the curtain, hongjoong smiles down at you. “hey.”

“hey,” you say half hearted, eyes focusing on fixing the way the shirt lays on his chest. “i don’t like the way this looks, it falls like this and that’s sloppy to me-”

“y/n,” hongjoong whispers, and you stop to meet his eyes. he smiles at you again, brighter this time, and tries once more. “hi beautiful.”

“hey handsome,” you say, relaxing into him. you lay your head on his chest briefly, his hands coming up to cup yours. “i’m exhausted.”

“me too,” he sighs, bringing your hands to his lips. he presses soft kisses to your knuckles as he continues. “wish you could come over tonight, but i think some of the managers are catching on.”

“we wouldn’t do much sleeping if i came over anyway,” you say suggestively, and he chuckles, the low rumble warming your cheeks as your head nuzzles further into his chest. 

“yeah, but that’s the thing,” he starts. “can’t tell if i’m not sleeping well because i’m not fucking you till the sun comes up, or if it’s cause you’re not sleeping next to me.” he sighs, playing with your fingers as he goes on. “guess we’ll just have to wait for the weekend though. you still free saturday?”

“yep,” you nod. “i’m all yours.”

“that’s what i like to hear,” he smirks, pecking you quickly. “we better get back out there, i don’t want wooyoung on my ass too.”

“you gotta stop arguing with him when i’m around,” you say, and hongjoong stops to look at you questioningly. “because i’m not afraid of him and i’ll give him a nice little sucker punch if he gives you too much trouble.”

“don’t mind him, sugar,” he says before placing a kiss to the top of your head. “he just likes getting a reaction out of people, so if you punched him that’d just encourage him to do it again.”

“he’s a weird one.”

“yeah,” hongjoong sighs, his lips still planted in your hair. you can barely hear him breathe in, and then he asks, “are you using a new shampoo?”

“no?” you ask, pulling back. “why?”

“you smell different,” he scowls. 

“baby,” you smile, cupping his cheek. “i think it’s because i’ve been at my house so much recently. i’m just using my regular shampoo, not yours, or whatever the guys have in the showers.” 

“don’t like that,” he shakes his head. “i’ll see if i can sneak you in later tonight.”

“hongjoong, i-” 

“no, babe, i miss you,” he says sternly. “you’re coming over, no excuses.”

“ok,” you say, defeated. “just text me when the coast is clear.”

-

you get a text around 10pm that hongjoong is finally at the dorm (”sorry, my bad, i started a new song and-”) so you head over soon after that. you’re not sure if tomorrow’s one of those days you might have to sneak out before the crack of dawn, so you don’t want to waste a minute of your time with hongjoong. 

as you make the short trip to his, your mind wanders to this whole set up you have. sneaking around, having to worry about when you need to leave his house so no one sees you, it’s tiring. sometimes you’d like to go over to your boyfriend’s house just because. or whatever it is hongjoong is to you. because a boyfriend isn’t someone you hide away with to steal some kisses or creep around with in the wee hours of the night. you should bring this up to him, at least voice your concerns - what could you both really do about it though? no matter what you say to him your situation would be the same, so might as well keep things the way they are. because things are nice. hongjoong is sweeter than anyone you’ve been with before, and you’re afraid of maybe someday having to find someone else who makes you feel the way he makes you feel. 

you’re still pondering what you could possibly say to him as you walk into the familiar building, making your way up to his floor. as you get closer to the boys’ dorm, you’re met with a wonderful smell. wooyoung must have cooked dinner, and you hope they saved you some, you were starving. you barely have to knock on the door before hongjoong is tearing it open to cover you in kisses, starting at your forehead and spazzing his way down to your lips. when you finally meet in a soft kiss, you smile into his lips and he does the same, pulling back just long enough to look at you as he grabs you by the cheeks, and then he’s kissing you again gently. 

“i missed you,” he says into your mouth, making you chuckle.

“because it’s been so long,” you say with a roll of your eyes, wrapping your hands around the back of his neck to play with the hair on the back of his head. “how’s the song? better than the one you started yesterday?”

“baby,” he groans. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to keep you waiting that long, i just was-”

“inspired, i know,” you smile softly. “i’m glad you got to work on it. i just hope i can hear this one, unlike all the others you’ve been hiding from me lately.”

“they’re not good enough yet,” he sighs. “and you know i have to do everything in my power to impress you.”

“well don’t try so hard,” you whisper, kissing him sweetly. “it doesn’t take much.”

“i’ll start tomorrow,” he says with a cheeky smile, sliding his hands to your shoulders to spin you around, facing their living room. you were right, there was food, but hongjoong had set their living room up to look like a fancy restaurant, candles laid out and flowers on the coffee table amidst all the food. it takes your breath away, and hongjoong watches you proudly as he waits for a response.

“joongie,” you melt, turning back to him and wrapping him in a tight hug. “why’d you do this?”

“wanted you to have something nice,” he shrugs like it’s nothing. “you’ve been working a lot this week, thought it’d be nice for you to get pampered a little.”

“well i love it,” you say as he guides you to the couch. he hands you your favorite blanket from his room, and you quickly wrap yourself in it as he makes your plate. “wooyoung helped?”

“yes,” hongjoong groans. “god, he’s never teased me so much before. i almost made him stop and put me out of my misery, but seeing you happy like this made it worth it.”

“aw, how sweet,” you coo as you take the plate he’s holding out for you. “thank you, really. i don’t know how to tell you how much this means to me.”

“save it,” he smiles shyly. “it’ll just embarrass us both.”

“but you’re cute when you’re embarrassed,” you say through a mouthful of food. “fuck, this is good. wooyoung is a genius.”

“damn, do i need to learn how to cook now?”

“well you should learn anyway,” you say, pointing an accusing fork in his direction. “but it’s sweet that you’re jealous.”

“am not.”

“are too. now eat your food so we can make out some more.”

once the food is cleared (you and hongjoong are both very adamant about cleaning up after yourselves) you go back to the couch, but hongjoong pulls you to sit in his lap. his hands settle on your waist as your legs fall to the outside of his thighs, and you place your hands on his shoulders, pinching his cheek for good measure. he pinches your ass in retaliation, and that’s all the encouragement you need to dive back into his lips. you spend some time lost in each other like this, slowly making out, and you let your hips roll experimentally. hongjoong tightens his hold on you, keeping you in place, and you whine.

“sorry sugar,” he sighs. “all the boys are home, and seonghwa’s asleep already. i can’t kick him out tonight, so don’t make me hard.”

“i can’t stop you from popping a boner-”

“you can behave and not do anything to make it worse though,” he scolds, and you’re quiet long enough for him to dip back down to your lips, his tongue caressing yours. you moan into his mouth, and you feel his dick twitch beneath you.

“see? i didn’t even mean to get that reaction,” you pout, and hongjoong kisses it away. 

“maybe we should just watch a movie then,” he says, looking around for the remote. you stop him, grabbing his face by the chin. he looks at you challengingly as he waits for you to speak.

“it’s late,” you say, and he nods. “so everyone is probably asleep.”

“yeah babe, i said hwa was asleep in-”

“no no, forget him,” you say. “everyone’s asleep? so we have the living room to ourselves?” 

“oh,” hongjoong finally realizes, stammering as he continues. “uh, i mean, yeah, we could, but...”

“but what?”

“all my condoms are in my room,” he whispers, almost like if he says it quietly it won’t bother you. 

“oh,” you sigh. “well, just hand stuff then. take your pants off.”

“no, you!” you hop up easily, pulling your pants down and grabbing hongjoong’s blanket. you drape it over yourself as he pulls his pants and boxers down quickly, encasing you both in the fabric as you sit back in his lap. your clothed core just barely brushes his tip and he jerks, making you smile. 

“and you said we should just watch a movie,” you smirk, spitting in your hand before reaching for hongjoong’s cock. he watches your every move with an animalistic look in his eye, like he wants to devour you whole. both of you focus your gaze to hongjoong’s lap, your hand carefully wrapping around him and using your spit to get him slick. you have to spit again, partly because it’ll help and also because you know it drives hongjoong crazy when you make a mess, so you do it and your hand returns to its place around his cock. you stroke him a few times, trying to get him hard quickly. he thinks you’re just trying to get him off faster, so he tsks and pulls you further up his lap so his cock is almost laying on top of your cunt. it gives him a better angle to pull your panties aside, slowly pushing one finger into your slick to check how wet you are. 

“needy baby,” he sighs, feeling the way your cunt swallows his digit tightly. “always ready for me, huh?”

“always,” you whine, grinding up to get more friction. hongjoong removes his hand completely, but you keep stroking him steadily. his hand moves up to your clit, using your wetness to drag over it lazily. you buck up again and he uses his free hand to hold you down, but in this position he’s still the one trapped under you. you can’t help but arch up as hongjoong dips two fingers back to your core, fucking into you slowly and scissoring his fingers open deep inside you. 

“taking my fingers so good baby,” he breathes out, focusing hard on not fucking your hand wildly as he gets harder. “doing so good for me, make me feel so good.”

“want your cock, joong,” you pout, and he shakes his head. 

“you’ve got it, sugar,” he says, bucking up into your hand to mark his words. “what more do you need?”

“need you inside,” you whisper, and his cock twitches at the idea of taking you raw. “i felt that baby, i know you want it, please just a little bit, please-”

“y/n, you sure?” hongjoong asks, and you meet eyes. you nod, affirming with a hushed “yes” that this is okay, that this is something you’ve wanted for quite some time now but you didn’t know how to say. hongjoong holds your gaze a little longer before going back to your core, fucking into you relentlessly now with three fingers. “guess i gotta get you ready then. you gotta be quiet for me though, can you do that?”

“mhm,” you whisper, trying to prove how good you’ll be starting now. once hongjoong’s satisfied with how open you are, he slides his fingers out and replaces your hand over his cock. he strokes himself once, twice, before holding your panties farther away so he can slide into your weeping cunt. you cry out at the warm feeling of him, and he groans at the feeling of you clenching around him without any protection. he knows this should be off limits, but now that he’s had a taste he can’t have you any other way. he keeps pushing until he’s sheathed fully inside you, he gives you a second to adjust, your arms falling to his biceps. you squeeze his arms tightly, telling him it’s alright to keep going. he pulls you off of him almost completely, just the tip still nestled inside your walls, and then he pulls you back down on his lap, pulling a shriek from deep in your chest. your hands fly to your mouth, heart pounding at the thought of waking the boys and because of the dark look hongjoong’s giving you.

“i said be quiet,” he warns, and you start to defend yourself but he quiets you with his hand covered in your slick, he offers you his fingers, and you know to suck and clean them off. you can taste some of his precum too, and you moan softly at the taste. while you’re distracted by your new task, hongjoong pulls back again and thrusts shallowly into you, rocking you over his lap so his cock just buries into you deeper and deeper. you’re moaning around his fingers, grateful they’re muffling some of your sounds, otherwise hongjoong would stop and leave you to get yourself off. 

“mmf,” you mumble around his fingers, and he pulls them from your mouth, a line of saliva falling from their tips and coating your chin. hongjoong jolts at the sight, pulling another little cry from your lips. “my clit, play with my clit, please.”

“you’re that close?” hongjoong asks, and you nod frantically as you start bouncing on his cock, feeling him deep in your stomach. he places a hand at your hip, his thumb pointed down so he can capture your clit with every bounce of your hips. you try your best to keep your moans to a minimum, but when you collapse on hongjoong’s chest, too tired to keep riding him, he forgets why you were even trying to be quiet in the first place. his hands grab your hips firmly, his own high just around the corner, and he fucks you hard and fast, making you shake above him. you cry out one last time, your walls clenching around him so hard it’s impossible for him to move. when you start coming down, your hole spasming around his cock, he comes, trying his best to pull out before he gets too much inside you but you stop him.

“no, baby, please it’s okay,” you assure him, and he freely let’s go, your cunt pumping him for every last drop of come. when he pulls out, some of it dribbles onto your outer lips and hongjoong tries his best to file that image away for the nights you can’t see each other. you slump into his shoulder, breathing slowing down, and hongjoong can tell you’re about to go to sleep.

“nope,” he says, pushing you up. “let’s get you cleaned off.”

“leave it,” you mumble into his shoulder. “can’t move. sleep here.”

“you gonna form a full sentence any time soon?” hongjoong jokes, and you shake your head. 

“just pull my panties up,” you say, finally sitting up enough to assess the damage. your pussy is covered in his release, more dripping out of your hole, and you both watch as you clench to stop it from dripping further. the sight alone has you both ready to go again, but it’s late.

“keep this safe for me then, yeah?” he asks, covering your stained pussy with your panties, and you push his shoulder pathetically. 

“gross.”

“i mean it, i’m gonna check tomorrow and i expect to see every drop-”

“hongjoong!” you whine, a smile threatening to give you away. “stop talking. just lay down with me, yeah?”

-

you fell asleep on the couch, which, in hindsight, was a bad idea for a lot of reasons. the worst one is the situation you find yourself in right now, hongjoong asleep on top of you, wrapped up in each other’s arms, and the front door opening to reveal a manager. hongjoong has enough time to poke his head above the couch (thankfully it hides you, for the most part), and he rushes to cover the rest of you with his blanket. he plays it off like he’s straightening up, waving to the manager at the door checking his phone. the boys had to rehearse soon for the tour, so hongjoong goes to grab the other guys and you lay as still and quiet as possible on the couch. 

one by one, the members make their way out of their rooms, doing a good job of not noticing you. yeosang does though, face showing shock at the pair of eyeballs staring at him between the cushions. the manager asks if he’s alright and he plays it off, and you think you’ve made it through. it’s just joong and seonghwa left, and you see hongjoong leave next, doing his best to convey something to you with his eyes but you can’t pick up on it. seonghwa comes out last, pretending like he’s looking for something. 

“what’s wrong?” the manager asks, and seonghwa explains he’s missing his phone. 

“one of the guys might have taken it down to the cars, do you mind checking for me? i’ll look up here and come down if i find it,” he asks, and the manager reluctantly leaves. a few seconds after the door closes, seonghwa looks at you. “hey y/n.”

“hey seonghwa.”

“had a good night?” he asks, and you shrug. 

“it was alright,” you say nonchalantly, sitting up to stretch out. “so what’s the move?”

“we’re going to a rehearsal space for a couple hours,” he explains. “wait maybe thirty minutes and then you can head out, hongjoong will see you later when we get back to the company and i’m sure he’ll do or say something despicable to you.”

“can’t wait,” you yawn, falling back down on the couch to sleep a little longer before you can leave.

-

so, you fell asleep. like for a long time. you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing, and your heart drops to your ass when you see it’s someone from kq. you realize you’re about an hour late, which is so cool and so fun. you scramble off the couch, rushing into the bathroom to attempt to make yourself look like you’re not making a walk of shame into the office. then you notice your clothes, you’re in sweats and a hoodie, so not necessarily work appropriate. you internally scream and head to hongjoong’s room, hoping he has some clean clothes you can change into for work. you do your best to find clothes that are inconspicuous, like if someone with a keen eye looked at you they wouldn’t notice you’re wearing hongjoong’s clothes. you head out the door once you’re satisfied with the look (a sweater you’ve been wanting to “borrow” with a collared shirt underneath that still smells like joong and black slacks) and take out your phone to make an excuse for being late. you have to stop by a designer’s shop to pick up some sample pieces for their next comeback, so you assure your coworker you got caught up at the shop and you’re coming back to the offices soon. you just cross your fingers and toes that’ll satisfy them and save your ass.

-

hongjoong spent the morning worried, because he’s never had such a close call before. it was stupid of him to let you both fall asleep on the couch, and he’s been beating himself up about it since. but he makes himself feel even worse when the boys get back to the company and he can’t find you anywhere. you’re never late, so hopefully you’re just hidden away working hard somewhere. hongjoong hopes that’s it, and not that you overslept because he’s got a million reasons in his mind over how that could be his fault. he just goes to a rehearsal room with mingi to pass the time, going over their parts together to clean everything up for tour. 

about an hour later, hongjoong steps out to grab a water and his ears perk up at your voice. he hears you down the hall, your voice carrying from a slightly cracked door in the office area. he quietly walks closer, not eavesdropping exactly, just choosing intentionally to get water from the fountain next to that office rather than the one right outside the practice room. as he stands there he catches the faintest trace of a conversation. 

“so you understand why we can’t risk this happening anymore,” the other staff says sternly, and hongjoong thinks you must be getting reprimanded for being late. he starts berating himself again, thinking it’s all his fault, when he hears you speak. 

“i understand,” you respond, your voice shaking. weird, hongjoong thinks. you’re good at keeping your cool at work. what could make you this upset? 

he doesn’t have time to ponder that for long, because the conversation wraps up and he hears shuffling from the office. he scurries back to the hallway he came from so he won’t get caught snooping, but he turns back just in time to catch you walking away quickly, wiping at your face. were you crying? then he catches the eye of the staff standing to the side, and she gives him a pointed look, tight-lipped with a warning in her eyes. hongjoong almost feels a shiver run down his spine, but he shakes it off and goes back to practice, shooting you a quick text to make sure you’re okay.

the next break he gets, he leaps for his phone and sees that you haven’t replied. he tells mingi he’s stepping out again, and he nods, saying he might go grab food with the members before they continue. hongjoong waves him off, trying to figure out if he should text you again or just go find you. he opts for the second one, and he has to wander a little to figure out where you are. he checks your office, nothing. understandable, considering you’re having a bad day. then he looks at the balcony, because that’s your go to hideaway in the office. still nothing. he finally finds you in the last place he’d think to check, the wardrobe room. surrounded by years of stage outfits, donated pieces, and looks curated for each member, he sees you hidden in a rack of old kingdom outfits. you look up at the sound of his footsteps, giving him a half hearted smile as he gets closer. 

“hi sugar,” he says softly. “what’s going on?”

“bad day,” you shrug. “sorry i’ve been mia.”

“s’okay,” he tells you, hand coming up to rub your back. “have you eaten?”

“not yet,” you shake your head. “haven’t had time. i overslept, and uh, got into some trouble. so a lunch break isn’t really in my schedule today.” something about the way you said that makes hongjoong think there’s something you’re leaving out, but he doesn’t push it.

“i can go grab you something?” he offers. “i was probably gonna go to 7/11, do you want some snacks? that way you don’t have to stop and eat, you can just eat as you work.”

“okay,” you nod, and hongjoong smiles. he’s about to leave when he allows himself to sweep his eyes over you, and his smile grows as he notices you’re decked out in his clothes.

“you thief,” he says, and you chuckle. a small victory, considering hongjoong can tell you had been crying at some point. “went shopping in my closet, hm?”

“i didn’t have time to go home and change,” you explain. “so i had to pull some stuff out of the archive and prevent the world’s worst walk of shame.”

“well you look cute,” he says, coming closer. “sexy, actually. i love it when you wear my clothes.”

“really?” you ask, a glimmer in your eyes. “how sexy?”

“depends,” hongjoong replies, “let me see your panties.”

“joong!” 

“no, baby, remember what i said last night?”

“oh, when you were being nasty?”

“yeah,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “show me.”

“hongjoong-”

“y/n,” he warns, and you slowly pull your pants down, followed soon after by your stained panties. hongjoong knocks your legs further apart before he falls to his knees, and you gasp, trying to pull him back up.

“kim hongjoong, stop that right now,” you hiss. “someone could come in here.”

“no they can’t, i locked the door,” he says, his hands sliding around your waist to grab you by the ass. he looks at your pussy, still dirty from the night before, and he sighs. “you’re perfect for me, baby,” he whispers, admiring the way your pussy clenches at his words. he’s too focused on your cum stained lips to notice the way your eyes well up at the complicated things you’re feeling, but before you can get caught up in your thoughts hongjoong swipes his tongue between your lips to distract you. he groans at the taste of himself lingering on your cunt, and he dives back in to clean you up. his hands on your ass help him grind you onto his tongue, and you let out a shaky moan when he swipes over your clit. he stays there, alternating between light kitten licks that make your legs jolt or harsh sucks that send a strike of electricity straight through you. hongjoong is relentless, playing with your clit before kissing and sucking his way down to your entrance, admiring the way your slick has coated your lips for him. “you’re delicious,” he growls, tongue slurping obscenely at your entrance, and your legs buckle at the feeling. he holds onto you tighter, trying to keep you up while he fucks his tongue into you. 

“hongjoong, too much,” you whine. “‘m gonna come.”

“good,” he grumbles, detaching from you long enough to look up at you between your legs. “that’s kinda the point, sugar.”

“but-”

“stop talking,” he orders, kissing right on top of your clit. “just enjoy it baby.” he holds his thumb up to you, and you take it in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the warm digit. hongjoong brings it down to your clit, drawing lazy circles on your bundle of nerves as he goes back to making out with your cunt. it’s getting harder for you to stand on your own, so you grip your hands into his hair for some leverage. you’re grinding down into his face, your arousal coating his chin as he eats you like a man starved. you’re staring down at him, mesmerized, and when his eyes flick up to meet yours it sends you over the edge. you let out a choked moan, and hongjoong buries his tongue in your cunt to collect every drop of your release. when he’s satisfied that you’re done, he slowly pulls away from you, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. he stands and brings your pants back up for you, helping you get dressed again before he leaves.

“i thought you were getting our lunch,” you say breathlessly, and hongjoong smirks like the devil as he responds.

“i can’t get that at 7/11.”

-

you spend the rest of the day keeping your distance from hongjoong, which isn’t hard considering both of your schedules. you’ve got to start packing tour outfits, and he’s in back to back rehearsals until late tonight. you stay after everyone else on your team leaves just to make up for the time you lost this morning, and you’re running through the building trying to keep up with all your packing lists. there’s a pair of shoes missing, and if san left them in the rehearsal room again you’re gonna kill him. so you’re running from room to room trying to find these boots, and as you take a corner too fast you literally run into hongjoong. 

“whoa, where’s the fire sugar?” he asks with a smirk as he steadies you, admiring the way you’ve pulled your hair back to keep it out of your face. you were going to respond, but you see a manager poke his head out of a rehearsal room so you duck away, mumbling to hongjoong about the shoes. he’s left confused, but just writes it off as you being stressed. he figures he’ll have time to ask about it tonight.

except, he doesn’t get a chance to do that. you end up leaving shortly after your literal run-in with joong, and you shoot him a text that you’ll be going to sleep as soon as you get home which is basically code for bye, see you tomorrow, please don’t text me and wake me up. hongjoong’s feelings are a little hurt, but again, he knows how stressful work is right now, it’s just as bad (if not worse) for him, so he takes this as a night of rest and decides to bother you double time tomorrow.

when it’s finally time for the guys to leave, hongjoong finds seonghwa and waits with him for their car. hongjoong immediately opens your texts, wanting to tell you he’s on the way home, but then he remembers you’re already asleep and puts his phone up.

“y/n coming over tonight?” hwa asks through a yawn. 

“nope,” hongjoong replies curtly. “we both need our rest.”

“gross.”

“not like that. well, a little but that’s not the reason. y/n had a long day today so i’m sure this extra sleep is needed,” joong explains, and hwa nods.

“yeah, i heard one of the managers saying she got quite the talking to this morning,” seonghwa says, side-eying hongjoong. “any idea what that was about?”

“no,” hongjoong shakes his head. “we didn’t talk much today. busy, you know.”

“well, i just know i’d be shitting bricks if my girlfriend was over and a manager walked in on us cuddled up on the couch,” hwa mumbles, and hongjoong bucks up at his words.

“y/n isn’t my girlfriend,” he says, sounding unsure even as he says it. “we’re...friends. close friends-”

“who suck and fuck every chance they get?” hwa asks, eyebrows raised. “not to mention the sappy way you talk to her,  and the way you look at her like she makes all the flowers grow.” 

“what? i do not,” hongjoong scoffs.

“do too.”

“stop that,” joong grumbles. “i don’t know what..this..is, honestly. i just know i really care for y/n.”

“then maybe you should be more careful about being seen by other staff,” seonghwa warns. “i’m just saying, if they had to get rid of someone because they find out you two are canoodling, it wouldn’t be you.”

“yeah,” hongjoong says, lost in thought. was that why you were off today? had the manager this morning noticed something, and gone on to snitch about it? hongjoong’ll wring his neck if that’s the case, but he knows for sure he needs to talk to you asap. he needs to know what’s going on, right now. 

-

before your alarm even goes off the next day, you’re pulled out of your sleep by your phone constantly ringing. you thought you heard it in your dreams, going off once then going silent. then it went off again, pulling you out of your sleep, confused. then it rang again and that’s when you realized it was actually happening, so you reach for it and answer.

“hello?” you ask groggily.

“open the door,” hongjoong says on the other end.

“hongjoong?”

“yeah, it’s me, come let me in,” he says quickly, then adds, “pretty please.”

“hongjoong, i-”

“please, y/n,” he says again. “i need to know what’s going on.”

“ok, just a second.”

soon, hongjoong is sitting at your kitchen table, watching as you move around making your morning coffee. like always, you make his first even though he didn’t ask for one, and when you finally have your own cup you take a seat across from him. 

“so,” you start. “what’s up? why’d you come here so early?”

“what happened yesterday?” he asks. “like really happened. i heard you in a meeting, and when i found you in the storage room it looked like you had been crying. and then not wanting to see me last night...” he trails off, looking back up at you. “what’s going on?”

“um,” you clear your throat. “well, uh, so. apparently kq has been onto us for sometime. they’ve all had their suspicions, some managers said suddenly you were a lot happier and less mean-”

“whoa, i’m not mean!”

“their words not mine,” you clarify, and keep going. “they said they could tell a difference in you, after...uh, after i was assigned to be your main stylist. and then they just noticed us getting closer, i guess? so when the manager walked in on us yesterday, he saw, um, he saw my stuff by the door, and that’s when he went higher up and told them there might be something going on. when i was late on top of all that, i got called into a meeting as soon as i got to work and it was made very clear my job is on the line if i don’t stop..whatever this is.” 

“wow,” hongjoong sighs. “so, what is this?”

“hongjoong,” you whine, and his heart clenches. “i don’t want to define this right now. i just told you i could get fired if we keep this up and you’re worried about a label?”

“well, yeah,” he begins, “because if we’re just messing around then that’s harder for us to defend if we get in trouble again, but if you’re actually my girlfriend then-”

“you don’t get it joong,” you cut him off. “it was very clear that i was the only one in trouble. they never even mentioned you yesterday, the entire time it was just about what i’ve done wrong by getting involved with you. you’re safe, i’m the one they can kick out if they see me as a threat.”

“you’re not a threat though,” he says quietly. “you’re my y/n.”

you reach across your little kitchen table, squeezing his hand in yours. you hold his gaze, his eyes hopeful, and sadly he notices that your eyes tell a different story. 

“i’m sorry, hongjoong, but..i can’t do this,” you say shakily. “i need this job. i love this job. and i don’t want to do anything to risk that, not right now. i’m..i’m sorry.” hongjoong holds your gaze for a moment longer, but he can tell your mind is made up. he softly slips his hand out of yours, puts his dirty mug in the dishwasher, and then walks out the front door. 

-

you didn’t realize how hard it would be to watch hongjoong walk away like that, but you knew it would be hard facing him at work with the way things had to end. a couple days after he stomped out of your apartment, you find yourself doing the final fitting for their tour outfits, the adjustments made and needing one final look. you’ve got hongjoong to your left and yeosang to your right, but they’re the only two you have to take care of today. jongho with his perfect proportions didn’t need any changes save for a new pair of shoes, and he’s already tried those on. 

you don’t want to get too close to hongjoong (either from fear of attraction or the fear that you’ll internally combust) so you spend a lot of time helping yeosang and catching up with him, asking him about the tour and just being friendly, nothing more. but hongjoong watches on, stewing silently as he tries on piece after piece, just barely grunting out your name to get your approval before he moves on to the next. when he’s tried the last piece, you tell him he’s free to go, and he’s out of the room faster than you can give him the all clear. you turn back to yeosang, who shrugs, saying something about how hongjoong always gets bitchy under a lot of stress. you laugh with him, knowing that’s not the only reason for joong’s sour mood, but there’s not much you can do about it now.

not long after that, hongjoong is holed up in his studio when he hears a knock at the door. he doesn’t want company, but he tells them to come in anyway. it’s seonghwa, who shuffles in and sits on the couch behind hongjoong.

“is there any reason why y/n is looking at your tour outfits all sad?” he asks.

“no?” hongjoong replies. “not my business.”

“hm,” seonghwa huffs. “since when is y/n not your business.”

“since i got dumped last night,” hongjoong replies, turning around to face his friend. “listen dude, i don’t really want to talk about it right now, ok? kind of still in the pissed off phase.”

“i heard about the meeting yesterday,” hwa says, making hongjoong groan.

“great, so now all our business is just floating around the company, that’s mature of everyone.”

“so is sleeping with your stylist.”

“hey, i wasn’t just sleeping with her, ok?” hongjoong defends himself. “like i said last night..i really care about her.”

“then what are you gonna do?”

“nothing,” hongjoong shrugs. “i tried last night, she didn’t want my help. so i guess it ends here.”

“no it doesn’t,” hwa shakes his head. “you two won’t be able to stay away from each other long.”

“thanks for having faith in me man.”

“i give you till the end of the week, tops,” hwa says. “but at the latest, before we leave for tour. i know it would piss you off to leave before you’ve cleaned this up.”

“get out of my studio.”

“don’t get mad at me cause i’m right!” seonghwa shrieks, but he stands and walks to the door anyway. “i’m just saying, if it’s worth fighting for, you should. you deserve some love. and a good lay, but if you could start keeping that to yourself i’d appreciate it.”

-

turns out hongjoong doesn’t have to worry about fixing this before they leave for tour. he heard through one of the managers that you would be coming with them, taking the place of one of the more senior stylists. and of course, the news of you and hongjoong hooking up has spread throughout the company, so you’ve been assigned to seonghwa and yeosang for the tour. getting used to the new role, and the hectic life of being on tour, you haven’t had time to stop and think how much you really miss hongjoong. your job has kept you pretty busy the first few stops, and you don’t even have time to catch his eye in the dressing rooms because you feel like you’re so all over the place. it worries hongjoong, seeing you so stressed, but he knows there’s nothing he can do about it.

he also has to watch you be all buddy buddy with seonghwa and yeosang, getting close to do touch ups on make up or fix their outfits in between stages. while he knows that’s your job, you have to do those things, he also thinks about how you chose your job over him just about every minute of every day. it’s hard for hongjoong to admit, but he was down bad for you, and he’s having a hard time adjusting. 

one night, after an off day in london, a lot of the staff went out with the guys to a lowkey restaurant. hongjoong was exhausted, but he went anyway. not because wooyoung basically begged him, but because he wanted a chance to be around you like nothing had happened. if he just happened to sit with you at dinner, that wouldn’t turn heads, would it? 

except, hongjoong is so excited by this idea he gets to the restaurant way before you. he wonders where you are, what you’ve been doing all day, would you even come to dinner at all? if he could, he would save you a seat at his table, but he can’t do that. instead he joins seonghwa and some others, scanning the menu absentmindedly until he hears the bell ding above the door. he looks up instinctively, and does a double take when he sees you. you look like you’re glowing, a couple shopping bags in tow and a new bag slung over your shoulder that hongjoong recognizes as a piece from your favorite designer’s new collection. 

“oooh, y/n, you bought us presents?” wooyoung asks, sitting next to hongjoong. he doesn’t miss the way your eyes glance over him first before looking at wooyoung to respond.

“no?” you reply. “these are all for me, you wouldn’t fit.” you approach the two tables taken up by the boys and the staff, and your eyes linger on hongjoong’s table making sure there’s no seats there before another stylist calls you over to sit next to her. you shove your bags (carefully) under the table, telling everyone sitting there that you’re not against violence if they mess with them. you settle into your seat and look up, locking eyes with hongjoong. he’s directly across from you at the other table, a window right between the members to give hongjoong a perfect view of you. you give him a tightlipped smile, heart constricting the longer you look at him. 

“nice bag,” he mouths, pointing down to your purse. you smile genuinely then, because of course he would recognize it. you had talked about getting a matching set together, something subtle but cool to signify your...bond. you still don’t know how to define whatever it was you had with hongjoong, but you need to stop reminding yourself of it before your stomach turns at the thought. you look down at the menu, trying to ignore the feeling of hongjoong’s eyes on you all night. 

-

the next day, there’s a show. you’re doing your job like normal, adjusting things here and there on yeosang’s first stage outfit, laughing at some silly joke he made. you catch yourself laughing around him a lot, not aware that he’s doing it to cheer you up. you just assume it’s yeosang being yeosang, but he sees how torn up hongjoong is so he knows you must be going through it just as bad. 

after you get yeosang and seonghwa settled into their new world robes, you head to another dressing room in search of more safety pins. you didn’t think about whose dressing room it was, you just knew the more organized stylists worked in here and you could always pilfer supplies from them. you sneak in and hover over the table by the door, expecting the room to be full and that you can just slip in and back out. but you hear someone clear their throat, and your skin runs cold when you look up and see hongjoong watching you through the mirrors on the wall. 

“hey sugar,” he says, a sad smile on his face. you whip around to face him, heartbeat accelerating as he walks closer to you. 

“hongjoong, i’m sorry, i didn’t know you were in here,” you try not to stammer out. “i just needed. um. i got what i needed. so i’ll just..go.” you try to spin back around and out the door, but hongjoong grabs your wrist too quickly, pulling you dangerously close to his chest. 

“what’s the rush?” he whispers into your ear, brushing your hair to the side.

“th-the concert, joong, you need to-”

“i need to talk to you,” he says sternly, turning you around in his arms.

“what are you doing?” you ask stubbornly, backing up to the door, which is a bad move because hongjoong just follows you until you’re caged in, his chest pressed to yours. you register the faint sound of him locking the door behind you, and your intake of breath makes him smirk. 

“having fun?” he asks calmly, and you look at him confused. “on tour? it’s your first time, it looks like you’re enjoying yourself.”

“it’s...alright,” you say tentatively. “i’m exhausted, but i like it so far.”

“that’s good,” hongjoong nods, picking up a piece of your hair and twirling it between his fingers. “and your new...assignment?” 

“are you referring to my promotion?” you ask, and you’re just a little bit satisfied by the surprised look on hongjoong’s face. “yeah, you don’t know everything, mister. they promoted me, i’m one of the head stylists now. that’s why i went on a shopping spree yesterday.”

“wow, y/n, that’s..that’s incredible, congratulations,” hongjoong stutters, and you smile at him sweetly. “i’m really happy for you. you deserve this more than anyone. really.”

“well thank you,” you mumble, your head dropping to ignore his intense stare. “so i hope you understand...why i had to...why this was my only choice.”

hongjoong lifts your chin delicately, noticing with a gasp that you’re crying. he’s quick to wipe your tears, and he moves to wrap you up in his arms. you push him away, shaking your head as you wipe at your eyes more. he carefully reaches out for your hands, bringing them down and rubbing soothing patterns over your knuckles.

“i guess i understand,” he sighs. “you’re just so smart and sexy and good at your job.” you roll your eyes, trying to pull your hands back but he holds tighter, squeezing your hands in his. “i knew you’d get a chance like this someday. but, come on, did they have to place you with seonghwa and yeosang?” 

“hongjoong you’re insufferable,” you laugh, your head falling forward to land on his shoulder. the alarms start going off in your mind when you realize what you’ve done, but they start shrieking and howling when you feel hongjoong’s hands leaving yours in favor of curling around your waist. you lift your head up to look at him and say, “you haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“hm, no?” he considers for a moment, hands sliding down to squeeze your ass teasingly. “i’m still crazy about you, so no, i have not.”

“hongjoong, we shouldn’t,” you hiss, shifting enough in his hold that you can feel how wet you are just from being this close to him again.

“but we both want to,” he says, and when you don’t disagree, hongjoong smiles the most shit eating grin you’ve ever seen. “stop me now, sugar. if you really don’t want this as much as i do, say something and i’ll stop. promise. i can walk away right now-”

“we have to be quick,” you whisper out, and hongjoong feels himself harden at the thought of you being just as needy for him as he is for you. his hands squeeze your ass one more time, then he taps your cheeks to signal for you to jump. you wrap your legs around him easily, and he puts you down on the counter in front of one of the vanities. there’s a moment where you’re both staring, unsure of what to do now that you’ve gotten this far, so you wrap your arms around his neck and say, “kiss me.”

hongjoong’s hands cup your face, pulling you up to meet him as his lips crash into yours. it’s sloppy, and in seconds you’re breathing hard into each other’s mouths, hongjoong licking at your lips to let him in. his hands brush over your chest and you gasp, granting him the access he needs to finally taste you again. he groans into your mouth, your tongue meeting his for the first time in what felt like years. he keeps playing with your chest, but he eventually gets tired of the fabric in the way and moves to take your shirt off. you have to physically push him to make him stop, and with a gasp for air you manage to say, “we can’t get undressed. you have to be onstage soon.” 

“ugh, fine,” he groans, leaning in to kiss you one more time. then, into your mouth, he growls, “i need you to turn around for me. over the vanity.” he steps back, undoing his pants as you bend over for him and pull your pants and panties down. he groans at the sight of your pussy glistening for him, and he tugs on your hair to get your attention. “look back at me. don’t look in the mirror, i want you just looking at me, ok baby?” you nod, eyes locked on his as he pumps himself a few more times before lining up at your wet entrance. “i don’t have a condom, is that ok?”

“god, hongjoong, yes, just fuck me before i regret this-” and you choke on your words as he thrusts himself fully inside, the warmth almost driving him insane. he could never forget what it feels like to be inside you, but he sure missed it. the way you clench around him, the way your ass looks delectable as he pulls out and thrusts back in, and your moans. oh god, he could come at the sound of your voice alone. once you got your voice back, you started chanting his name, your hair falling down around your face as he rocks into you repeatedly. your eyes stay on his the entire time, and he’s so overwhelmed by the feeling of you wrapped around him again that he stops inside you to take some breaths. he lifts your right leg up, placing it on the vanity with your upper body so he can get deeper. your pants and panties fall off your leg, and you stumble out of them completely to find a comfortable position. when it looks like you’re settled again, hongjoong thrusts slowly, pulling a moan from deep within your chest.

“i missed this baby, i missed you,” he breathes out before he keeps going, pounding into you at a faster pace than before. in this position, he’s hitting as deep as he can, and you’re back to a blubbering mess. you’re babbling out his name, various cuss words, and repeating everyone once in a while how he has a perfect cock. watching you fall apart around him sends hongjoong into overdrive, and he grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back to make sure you keep your eyes on him. you clench around him at the sight of his animalistic gaze, and he groans out, “fuck, keep doing that and i’ll come.”

“give it to me, please,” you beg. “please, hongjoong, please, come for me baby, i need it, please!”

“you want me to come inside you baby?” and you nod. “uh uh, need to hear you say it.”

“fuck me, fuck,” you gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head. hongjoong pulls on your hair again to bring your attention back to him. “please baby, come inside me, wanna feel your come dripping down my pussy, please, i need it-” and then he’s coming, coating your walls with so much come he’s afraid it’ll start dripping out before he even finishes. feeling hongjoong coming inside you sets off your own release with a choked moan, and hongjoong thrusts softly to guide you both through it. when you’re done spasming around him, he pulls out carefully, his cock covered in your releases. he bends down to grab your panties, wiping himself off with the fabric. you carefully get down from the counter, feeling hongjoong’s come leaking from you already. you look down for your pants, but when you can’t find your panties you look up to him quickly.

“where are they?” you ask accusingly, and he just smiles. 

“somewhere safe,” he says seriously, and you push his arm. 

“hongjoong, give them back, i can feel you dripping out of me already-”

“then you got what you wanted, right sugar?” he asks, and you blush profusely. “if memory serves, you asked for this.”

“i hate you,” you grumble, pulling your shorts up anyway. 

“yeah, about that,” hongjoong says, and the sound of someone jiggling the door handle makes you both freeze. you grip onto hongjoong tightly, complete fear in your eyes as whoever it is keeps trying to door. hongjoong steps closer and tries to calmly ask, “who is it? i’m, uh, changing.”

“it’s me,” seonghwa replies, and you both let out a sigh of relief. “i don’t care what you’re doing, but wrap it up. five minutes to mics, dude.”

“o-ok, thanks,” hongjoong replies, and you push him toward the door. in a hushed tone, he turns to you and says, “hold on sugar, i have something to tell you.”

“we don’t really have time to talk about this hongjoong, we’re close to getting caught again, and we can’t-”

“i think i’m in love with you,” hongjoong whispers, and if it hadn’t been just the two of you in the room you would’ve missed it. you stop cold, staring at him with your mouth slightly open. 

“you’re joking,” is the only thing you can think to say.

“i’m not yeosang,” hongjoong says coldly, and you scoff. 

“you can’t just say that, joong,” you tell him. “you have to mean it-”

“you think i don’t mean it?” he asks, hurt. he watches you to try and read your expression, but you’re not giving him any context clues, so he sighs, “whatever. i love you. take it or leave it.” 

you watch as he unlocks the door and slips out, not another word or glance your way. you give it a few seconds, listening intently for the sounds of anyone outside. when you think the coast is clear, you grab the things you came here for in the first place and slip back into the hallway unnoticed. 

-

after the concert, you’re busy getting the last of seonghwa and yeosang’s outfits packed up for the next stop. like always, seonghwa stops by and asks if you need any help, but you politely decline and he hangs around anyway, telling you little stories about the show so you have some company.

“hongjoong had a really great night too,” seonghwa points out, eyeing you carefully as he goes on. “he seemed very motivated, for some reason.” 

“hm, good for him,” you hum, and then you nod to the case seonghwa is leaning on. “can you open that for me?”

“sure,” he says, helping you while he watches hongjoong walk by behind you. he doesn’t think anything of seonghwa hanging around you, that’s really the only person he doesn’t mind you being close with aside from him. he just nods at hwa and he nods back, something unspoken between them that you don’t pick up on. “did you get to see any of the show tonight? i think you would’ve liked it.”

“ah, no,” you sigh. “i was a little tired so i just rested back here. i’m sure you guys did great though.”

“hongjoong especially,” seonghwa reiterates, and you look at him apprehensively. 

“yeah, you mentioned that. listen, i should get these to the truck-”

“i’m just saying, for whatever reason, tonight of all nights, hongjoong had his best show of the tour,” seonghwa says, looking directly at you. “he’s like a changed man.”

“what are you trying to imply, seonghwa?” you finally ask. “because i don’t think i’m getting it.”

“he’s better when you’re with him!” he whisper shouts. “now i don’t totally agree with you two risking your careers over this, but he cares about you enough that he’s willing to do it. he’s a better person when you’re in his life. really in it. i think i’m the only one that knows why, but everyone noticed how different he was tonight after he suspiciously came out of a locked dressing room,” a pointed look at you. “so just think about how you want this to end up. you have to be around each other a lot anyway, so why spend it pretending you hate each other when you clearly don’t?”

you’re quiet for a moment, focusing on the clasp of the case in front of you. “didn’t know you were hongjoong’s relationship doctor.”

“oh, you’re perfect for each other,” seonghwa groans. “he told me the same thing when i tried to talk to him. don’t believe me, fine, but don’t expect a clear sign like this again. hongjoong is gonna keep his distance if you don’t make a move.” he starts walking away then, but you calling his name softly brings him back. he smiles smugly and asks, “yes?”

“um,” you clear your throat, taking a few steps closer to him so no one will overhear. “uh, do you know if he’s got his own room tonight?”

“my stuff’s already in with yunho and san,” seonghwa replies. “because i am a good friend, not a relationship doctor. you two need to do the doctor part yourselves, i am simply the kind soul who doesn’t want to see two people he cares about be miserable for the rest of forever.”

“you’re so giving,” you tease, and then genuinely, “thank you. we’ll talk tonight.”

“good luck,” seonghwa smiles at you before he leaves.

-

back at the hotel, you spent quite some time cleaning yourself up. you weren’t stalling on purpose, but you kept finding things to do before you went to hongjoong’s room. you know he stays up late, so you have time, but you need to pull the band aid off and just go. you’d like to have an idea of what to say when you see him, but when you think about it your mind just becomes a tangled mess. as you get ready to leave, an idea pops into your head, and you take care of that quickly before heading a few floors up to hongjoong’s room. 

you took the elevator further down the hallway, so hopefully any other staff still heading to their rooms won’t see you on the main elevator. you have to walk a little farther to hongjoong’s room though, so you have plenty of time for your heart to start racing the closer you get. as you reach up to knock on his door, it feels like your heart will beat out of your chest at any moment, but seconds later when hongjoong opens the door, it completely calms. he smiles, unsure of what he’s seeing as he starts to speak, but you cut him off with a soft, “surprise?”

“it sure is,” he says, leaning against the doorframe. he looks you up and down, all cozy in the hotel robe but still with your battered keroppi slippers on your feet. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”

“i think we need to talk,” you tell him. “can i come in?”

“listen, y/n, i said everything i needed to say,” he replies. “if you have anything to add, you can tell me right here.”

“well,” you start, and he’s watching your face intently, not noticing your hands trailing down to the belt of the robe. “it’s kinda cold out here, i’m feeling a draft,” you say as you undo the belt, pulling one side of the robe back so hongjoong can see you don’t have anything on underneath. “can i come in now?”

“you’re gonna kill me,” he whispers, hand reaching out to grip your bare waist as he pulls you into the room with him. he closes the door quietly behind him, and you stay close by so you can grab his hand when he’s done. wordlessly, you take him to the bed you assume is his and stand before it. more of the robe has fallen open, and hongjoong blatantly checks you out. “alright. your turn to talk.”

“i...can’t,” you start, and hongjoong looks on with a hurt in his eyes that you wish you could fix. "i’m not good with words, so i’ve been wracking my brain for what to say and i can’t come up with anything good.”

“you could say you love me back,” hongjoong mutters, and you groan at his words, grabbing his hands. 

“hongjoong, please,” you whine. “i can’t put into words how i feel, so i wanted to show you.”

“show me?” he asks, intrigued. “show me how?”

“well,” you sigh, playing with his fingers. “what do you want to do with me?” 

“sugar, what i want to do with you would take me days,” he warns. 

“hm, we only have a couple of hours. what do you want to start with?” you ask teasingly, staring at him patiently. you can see him working through this in his head, and you desperately hope he doesn’t tell you to leave. 

“on your knees for me,” he finally says, and you obey instantly. you sink down in front of him, your robe falling off your shoulders and pooling around you. “good girl. hands in your lap, that’s it, and keep them there. want you to watch, no touching.”

“hongjoong, what-”

“ah ah,” he tsks, undoing his pants. “you’re gonna watch me get off, because this is what you wanted right? you didn’t want us to be together anymore, and we can’t touch if we’re not together.”

“baby, please,” you beg. “what happened in the dressing room then?” 

“what happened in the dressing room was a mistake,” he says, and you feel a pang in your chest as he pulls his boxers down just enough to free his half hard cock. he starts stroking himself as he goes on, “unless you want to talk about it?”

“i-i don’t know...”

“right,” he hums, picking up speed as he gets harder. “guess you just have to sit there then. thanks for the pretty view, sugar.” he punctuates his words with a step closer to you, his tip dangerously close to your lips. all you’d have to do is lean forward just a little to take him in you mouth and- “stop that,” he says from above you, watching intently. “look up at me, don’t be so cock hungry.”

you whimper at his words, looking up to his sharp eyes. he winks at you when your eyes meet, and when he starts meeting his pumping hand with little thrusts you watch as his face contorts into pleasure, a moan slipping past his lips. you even catch the slightest hint of a smirk after because he’s enjoying himself so much. while his eyes are locked on yours, an idea pops into your head, and you wriggle your hips just enough to spread your legs below you. to hongjoong it just looks like you’re getting comfortable. as he focuses on your chest and how your nipples are reacting to the cold air, he misses the way your hand trails down to your core to meet your dripping folds. you rub your middle finger through your slick and make a swipe at your clit, a quiet moan traveling up through your chest. hongjoong stops immediately, glaring down at you as he watches you play with yourself. he’s stopped fucking his hand and the only noise in the room is the sound of your quickened breath and the mess between your legs. 

“what are you doing?” he asks calmly.

“nothing,” you reply with a shaky breath, slipping a finger inside your entrance to stroke at your walls. “why’d you stop?”

“you’re not listening to me-” hongjoong starts, but you cut him off.

“ah ah,” you mock him. “i can’t touch you. doesn’t mean i can’t, fuck, doesn’t mean i can’t touch myself.”

“fine,” he decides, stepping away from you to lean against the bed. “i wanna see you get off with your fingers alone.”

“fine,” you agree, leaning back on one hand while bringing your other hand up to your lips. you suck on two of your fingers, holding hongjoong’s gaze while he strokes himself lazily. you bring your fingers back to your core, circling your entrance before you start fucking yourself on them, already knowing this won’t be enough. you try working yourself up by rolling your hips, stroking that soft spot inside you, but it’s not enough. you sit up so you can bring your other hand down to your clit, and hongjoong just watches on amused. he’s wondering how long this little show can last, but he’ll appreciate every second of it.

“feel good baby?” he asks mockingly, and you moan maybe too loud to try to convince him that it does. it’s not that it doesn’t feel good, it does, it’s just not as good as you know hongjoong could be. “how long will you keep this up?”

“keep what up?” you grit your teeth, grinding down into your own touch, legs jerking at the oversensitivity. the room is quiet for a moment as you feel yourself getting closer to a peak you know you can’t reach, but amidst the silence you hear hongjoong calling for you.

“baby,” he says softly, and you look up to a smirking hongjoong. “proposition for ya.”

“what?”

“make me come with that mouth of yours, and then i’ll help you out.”

“thought we couldn’t touch,” you bite back, gasping as you pull your fingers out of your cunt. “don’t want you to make another mistake, baby.”

“just shut up and come here,” hongjoong growls, staring down at you with a welcome challenge in his eyes. you shuffle the short distance forward to bring you closer to his waiting cock, and you swipe your fingers through your folds once more before wrapping the same hand around his dick. hongjoong moans lowly as he watches you work him in your hands, getting incredibly hard as he waits for you to wrap your lips around him.

“that’s enough playing around sugar,” he says sternly. “now swallow it.”

you obey quickly, using the hand that’s wrapped around him to guide him to your lips. you nip at the tip playfully, and he bucks up to make you hurry, his cock slapping against your lips obscenely. you open wide for him, doing your best to keep your lips securely around his shaft. you bob up and down quickly, encouraged by the promise of getting off if you can make him come. the only sounds in the room are hongjoong’s low pants and your mouth swallowing around him, but it’s music to his ears. he’s missed having you so intimately, but more than that he’s missed you. 

you can tell hongjoong is getting close, his chest rising and falling quickly and his dick twitching in your mouth, heavy on your tongue. you pull him out briefly, gathering a few breaths before you look up to him and tell him hoarsely, “i want you to fuck my throat, joongie.” you open your mouth up to him again, tongue hanging loosely, and he guides his cock to your waiting lips. 

“grab onto my thighs baby, you’ll need it,” he warns you, and you take his advice. as soon as you’ve got a hold of him, he starts fucking your throat, making you gag. you try to swallow around him with each thrust, driving him crazy enough until you know he can’t take it anymore. you think he’s about to come down your throat and you get excited at the promise of tasting him again, but he pulls away from you completely. 

“what the fuck,” you whine, precum and spit coating your chin. “was i not doing a good job?”

“no, you did well considering you can’t use your mouth to say what i want to hear,” he says meanly, and deflated, you fall back onto your calves.

“so that’s it?” you ask, and hongjoong laughs at you. 

“sugar, we’re just getting started,” he smiles. 

“but i don’t get to taste your come?” you whine, and he shakes his head. “where are you gonna come then?” and you watch as hongjoong reaches into his pocket, pulling out a crumbled piece of fabric. he shakes it out and you notice it’s your panties from earlier. you watch as he lays it over his hand before bringing it down to his cock, pumping himself a couple times before his body shudders and he comes into your panties. when he finishes, he looks at his hand, sighing as he holds it up to you.

“open,” he says simply, and you listen, your mouth falling open for him once again. he carefully shoves your panties into your mouth, his come coating your tongue as he says, “need you to be quiet for this next part, ok? unless you wanna give my manager a show. and then you’ll really get your way, huh? they’ll never let us within a mile of each other if they could hear how i’m about to make you feel. now over my lap, baby. time for your punishment.” you make a sound of protest, looking at him confused, and he answers, “you broke the rules sugar. you touched me.”

you try to complain, call him names, accuse him of playing games with you, but you can’t. instead you just do as he says, laying facedown into the mattress over his lap with your ass on display. his hand instantly cracks over your ass, making you jolt and squeak into your gag. 

“i’d tell you to count, but i wouldn’t be able to hear you,” he teases, running his hand over your ass cheeks. “so i’ll keep track for you. that’s one, you get nine more.” you squirm in his hold as his hand lands on your ass over and over again, whining at the pain yet grinding down into his thighs to relieve the growing pleasure between your legs. he notices this, and in between spanks he starts dipping two fingers into your core, groaning at the way your arousal drips down into his palm. you forget that you’re even being punished, enjoying the way he’s stroking your walls, when he pulls his hand from you completely and instead smacks your cunt. you scream into your gag, pushing your face into the mattress as your hips buck into his touch. “you liked that sugar? my baby’s so slutty for me. try to scream again, whore.” and he smacks your cunt again, the sharp shock to your core sending you closer to the edge. without warning, he plunges three fingers deep into your core, his free hand rubbing brutally over your clit as you writhe in his hold and start to come. your moans reach a pitch so high you can’t even hear yourself anymore, and hongjoong keeps fucking you through your release until he hears you whimper in overstimulation. he carefully removes his hands from your core, pulling your hair to make you look at him as he cleans your release off of his fingers. gently, he helps you lay completely on the bed, whispering, “i’ll be right back.”

you register hongjoong coming back to you to remove your panties from your mouth. then you feel his hands on your hips with a wet washcloth that he uses to clean you up. you start drifting off to sleep as you feel him place a kiss on each hip, whispering something up to you that you don’t catch. he lets you rest there, grabbing a change of clothes before he heads to the bathroom to wash off. you don’t know how long you were asleep for, but when you wake up again you hear the water running and you don’t see hongjoong anywhere. you get up, wincing at the pain in your lower half, looking for your robe and slippers so you can go back to your room. as you finish, the water shuts off, and you hastily make your way to the door. you’re halfway to the elevator when hongjoong comes back into the room, his face falling when he sees an empty bed. but really, what did he expect? you didn’t love him. you cared more about your job than you cared about him, so he should’ve known this would happen. as he moves around doing his nightly routine, trying to forget the day’s events that all involved you.

-

the tour stops that follow are exhausting. there’s shows, there’s fansigns, the boys have other commitments in between, and it’s impossible for you to get a moment alone with hongjoong. that doesn’t stop him from stealing glances at you every chance he gets, and you do your best to pretend that doesn’t affect you. you’re trying to set a plan into motion, because you’ve finally decided what you want this to be.

so when the tour makes its way to paris, you get to work. you’ve been making calls and setting up meetings to make sure this all happens the way you want, so you’ll be busy today. the boys have a rest day, and while you relish in the freedom of not being confined to their schedule, you start making things right. meanwhile, hongjoong finds himself bored in his room, wondering what you’re up to. 

he leaves his hotel room, wandering around trying to work up the nerve to find you. as he heads to the elevator, san pops his head out of his room and calls for hongjoong. some of the boys are watching a movie together and then they’re gonna go shopping, and san won’t let hongjoong leave without joining them for at least a couple hours. part one of the plan, done. 

while joong is being forced to enjoy his group’s company, seonghwa shoots you a cryptic text that you assume means the plan is going well. you check your phone happily knowing everything is working smoothly so far. the hard part comes next, and you psych yourself up as you head into the cafe you found just down the street. you smile as you see some of your coworkers waiting for you, and you take a deep breath before joining them for what’s sure to be a difficult conversation. 

-

that night, hongjoong comes back to his hotel room tired, arms laden with new designer pieces he can’t wait to wear. specifically he can’t wait for you to see what he found, because he knows you’ll appreciate everything as much as he does. he’s about to dump his bags and just text you, inviting you to his room, but he stops when he sees a note on his pillow. it’s an invitation to a paris fashion week event with one of his favorite designers. he’s not sure how this could have happened, but he knows you made it possible. it warms hongjoong’s heart to know you did something like this for him, and then his face warms at the thought of attending this with you. he’s worrying about what to wear to the event when he gets a text. he jumps to read it, smiling when he sees your name lighting his screen.

“meet me tomorrow before breakfast for a fitting?” 

-

to say you’re nervous is an understatement. you barely slept the night before because you wanted to make sure everything today runs smoothly. you’d hate to go to all this trouble just for a little mishap to ruin it all, so you’ve been worrying since you sent that text to hongjoong yesterday.

and hongjoong? he’s fine. he slept like a baby last night knowing he’d spend most of the day with you, and as he gets ready to see you he’s calm and collected. he thinks he’s got this whole thing figured out, and he’s ready to ease all your worries with the plan he’s laid out in his head. you asked him to come to your room for the fitting, so he heads up early, just eager to see you and tell you what he’s come up with. when he gets to your door and you open it at the first knock, the sight in front of him takes his breath away. 

first of all, you look beautiful. you look like a page out of a catalogue, dressed head to toe in this designer’s new collection. you look chic, confident, and sexy as hell. then there’s the room behind you. there’s two racks of clothes overflowing with stunning pieces, and hongjoong is standing at the door with stars in his eyes and a surprised look on his face. slowly, he turns to you, reaching for your hands. 

“how did this happen?” he asks, looking at you in awe.

“i made some calls,” you shrug. “come in, i have so much to show you.”

you go through the pieces quickly, explaining he needs to pick two outfits: one to keep and one to wear to the event. he looks on in admiration (for you or the clothes, we may never know) and carefully touches the fabric as you speak, appreciating the little details of the pieces before him. as you’re talking, there’s one suit he keeps playing with, and you smile as you ask, “that’s your favorite?”

“yeah,” he nods, looking over his shoulder at you. “i love the color, and the buttons, and the way it’s cut over here-”

“try it on then,” you encourage, and you take the suit off the rack before leading hongjoong to your bathroom. “take your time with it, but come show me when you’re dressed.”

hongjoong disappears briefly, and you can hear him rushing to get his clothes off. you’re sure you heard him bump something into the counter, but you don’t push him about it. you just sit down on your bed, kicking your feet, as you wait for him to come out. when he’s ready, he steps back into your room and clears his throat. now it’s your turn to be in shock, utterly stunned at how perfect hongjoong looks standing before you in this tan suit. 

“do you like it?” you ask excitedly, and hongjoong nods. “give us a spin then.” he turns around slowly, and you whistle teasingly so that when he turns back to you there’s a shy smile on his face. “how’s the fit?” 

“perfect,” he replies. “it’s like it was made for me.”

“well it was,” you tell him, stepping up to fix his cuffs. “i gave them your measurements last week, i’m just glad they were able to tailor it in time.” 

“you did this for me?” he asks in disbelief. “why?”

“because,” you start, adjusting his lapels now. you keep speaking, trying to hide the slight shake to your voice. “because i didn’t know how to tell you i loved you. so i had to show you.” 

hongjoong is quiet, and you’re scared for a moment that you crossed a line. you’re worried you said the wrong thing. afraid that this is too much, and hongjoong doesn’t want this anymore. but a gentle hand reaches out to tilt your chin so you’re staring into hongjoong’s eyes, and he’s looking at you like you’re the only person in the world. 

“can i kiss you?” he asks quietly, and you whisper a soft yes. he cups your cheeks, pulling you closer until your lips meet his. usually when you kiss hongjoong it’s sweet but fast, passionate but hurried. this is different. his lips move over yours slowly, his hands caressing you all the way down from your neck to your waist, holding you like he’s afraid to let you go. you’re both reluctant to pull away, but eventually you need to take a breath so you place your hands on his chest to push back. his grip around your waist tightens, and he kisses you harder, trying to put all of his love for you into this one touch. you have to push him off, laughing at how he chases you and pulls you even closer. 

“baby, stop,” you giggle. “need a breather.”

“too bad,” he says, kissing from your lips down to your chin and further down to your neck. “not letting you go ever again.”

“that’s gonna make our lives a little harder, don’t you think?” you joke, and he stops to look at you seriously. 

“no,” he tells you. “this is gonna work. we’ll make it work for us. it’ll be hard but worth it.” he holds your gaze a moment longer and you lean back in to kiss him.

“can i say something though?” you ask. “make sure we’re on the same page?” 

“please,” hongjoong nods. 

“do you wanna sit down at least?” you offer, and he shakes his head.

“nope,” squeezing you tighter, “this is fine with me.”

“fine,” you laugh. “i’m sorry i didn’t say anything earlier,” you begin. “but i can’t have you thinking this is all just fun and games. we could seriously get in trouble here, especially me. so i have to be careful.”

“i know that,” hongjoong tries, but you stop him. 

“i have to be careful,” you repeat, and he nods. “it’s a really serious thing. and if i don’t know what i am to you, it’s hard for me to risk the career i’ve built because of this incredibly charming guy i happen to work with.”

“for what it’s worth,” hongjoong says, “even if we weren’t together, if i was just some loser pining for the girl he works with, i would still love you.”

“hongjoong.” you whine. “you’re not making this easier for me.”

“okay,” he says, detaching his arms from around you and grabbing your hands tightly in his. “let me make it easier then. be my girlfriend. date me. stay over and come to work with me in the mornings. let me handle the shit, you just be my y/n again. because i miss you. i miss us. hell, i even miss your doofus dog. it might be silly, but when i would come to your apartment, it felt like we were a little family, like we had a furry little son. it was nice. it was normal. nothing in my life is normal, but you make me feel like a person. just like any other guy. you don’t treat me like kim hongjoong, leader of ateez. you treat me like hongjoong. you make me feel like myself. that’s why it was so easy for me to say i love you. you make all of this feel like it’s normal. like this is how life is supposed to be. so i’m tired of all this sneaking around shit. be my girlfriend. be in love with me.”

“i-i never knew you felt that way,” you say, a little choked up. hongjoong reaches up to cup your face, thumbs ready to catch any tears that might come. you lean forward, your forehead touching his. “but you’re my hongjoong, how could i treat you any differently?” he laughs softly, hands squeezing your cheeks. you look at him, so close, so beautiful, and you think how easy it will be going forward. “that’s why i quit.” 

hongjoong pulls back from you in shock, surprise written all over his face. he tries to speak, but he can’t even think of what to ask. after all of this, you picked him? 

“you..what?” 

“i quit,” you shrug. “well, stepped down. and when they asked why, i told them i couldn’t work with you directly anymore. i think they knew why, but they understood.”

“but you just got a promotion,” hongjoong says. “you’re so good at what you do. and the guys! you’re so good to us. what are we gonna do without you?” 

“baby,” you laugh, cupping his cheeks now. “they just put me in a different department. same pay, similar tasks, just not working directly with you. my job is more external now. that’s how i got us invited to fashion week. i’m basically the kq rep that goes out and bothers all these designers to get them to send us clothes, and then the stylist team gets to choose what pieces to use. i’m actually kind of the boss now, which is nice.” 

“i can’t believe you,” hongjoong smiles. “you’re sneaky.” 

“nah, i’m just a sap who’s in love,” you tease.

“wait,” hongjoong says, “i haven’t heard you say it yet.” 

“say what?” 

“i love you,” he explains. “you haven’t said i love you yet. i wanna hear you say it.”

“oh, that i love you?” you ask, and hongjoong blushes. “you want me to say i love you? because i do. i love you.”

“say it again,” he smiles, leaning in closer until your lips are just barely touching.

“i love you,” you whisper, lips grazing his. “i love you i love you i love you.”

[saphronethaleph]

Revolt

Finn swallowed.

“Are we ready?” he asked. “Are you sure this is going to work?”

Maz looked up from the assemblage of comm gear she’d patched together, one of her lenses retracting, then they all swayed slightly as the Falcon did a three-sixty spin.

“Careful with the old girl!” Lando shouted, from the dorsal turret.

Chewbacca shouted something back from the cockpit.

“It’ll be fine, so long as Chewie keeps the violent manoeuvring to a minimum!” Maz snapped.

The sound of rapid firing guns pulsed up the turret access ways, as both Lando and Rose fired out a cascade of laserbolts from their respective turrets at TIE fighters following them.

“Aaaaa!” C-3P0 yelped. “Mister Chewbacca, please don’t do things like that!”

Another roar in Shyriiwook sounded in reply.

“I know we’d be shot down if you didn’t, you don’t have to rub it in!”

“As for how long it’ll work…” Maz added, glancing at the code cylinders. “You’ve definitely got a minute. Maybe two. What do you think the chances are of three?”

R2 whistled.

“Three is possible,” Maz agreed. “But I think the biggest question is one I can’t answer, Finn. Are you ready?”

Finn took a deep breath.

Everyone was depending on him. The whole Resistance was out there, fighting to buy him time, as the defences of Exegol spat fire up at them and as dozens of TIE fighters tried to pin them down.

Poe and BB-8 were very specifically flying cover for the Falcon, but everyone was out there.

“Let’s do it,” he said, picking up the headset, and Maz flicked three switches.

“I don’t know what you think of me,” Finn began. “I don’t know who you know me as, but… I’m pretty sure you know who I am. You’ve heard me described as FN-2187. As a member of the Resistance. As a traitor. A stormtrooper. A sanitation worker… as a failure.”

He paused.

“Maybe that’s true,” he said. “Maybe all of it’s true. I don’t know. But there’s something more important than that – something I learned from a friend. From the first friend I ever made-”

One of the sublight engines crackled and died, then Rose shouted something and Chewbacca slewed the ship away from the rest of a volley of laserbolts. Only the first few hit home, straining the shields but not overwhelming them, then Lando called advice and R2 rolled over to do something to the fuel pump.

Finn didn’t hear any of it.

“Because I am not a slave,” he said. “I’m a person, and my name is Finn. And – and I’d never really realized that before. I was a stormtrooper, and stormtroopers have been the face of the Empire, of the First Order, for decades – but we’ve always been used! We’re taken to fight, trained from childhood, and that’s wrong, and we’re made to think it’s the only way things can be – that we don’t even deserve names, just numbers.”

The shaking of the Falcon made him nearly fall out of his chair, and Maz steadied him. “The only jobs of a stormtrooper are to scare people into obeying, and to kill, and to die! The people who make us don’t care about us, they don’t care about what we do, anyone who hesitates gets reconditioned and you’re not allowed to leave. We’re made as slaves, as they try to force us to be clones, even though the original clones wanted more than anything else to be individuals. To be people. And – and, ask yourself, what do you want? What would you do with your life?”

The words were pouring out of him now, and Finn didn’t know if they made any sense. If they’d do what he wanted, what he dearly and truly hoped.

“I’m not sorry I left, because I deserve more with my life than a code,” he said. “And so do you. I have a name, and so should you. I was just a little different and they wanted to destroy me, and they’d do the same to you. They didn’t care about me, and they don’t care about you…but they care about me now. They recognize me now. They know who I am, now. And everything they’ve built depends on your willingness to be content with nothing. With obedience. With slavery. With being replaceable and anonymous.”

Maz waved at him, and Finn saw that the displays were flashing in what looked a much more urgent way.

“Listen to me, brothers, sisters!” he pleaded. “You deserve to be more! I am a person, and my name is Finn – and you are people too. I want to know your names.”

The next hit sent the Falcon rolling through a complete spin like a top, throwing Finn out of his seat, and the mixed-up pile of comm equipment flew out of place. Some of the cables snapped, parts of it caught fire, and electrical arcs snapped out into the rest of the main room.

Some of the lights went out.

“What the hell was that?” Lando shouted.

“Torpedo!” Rose replied, from the ventral turret. “I nailed it just before it hit us!”

R2 rolled calmly into the room and doused the flaming equipment with his fire extinguisher, putting out the flames, and Finn patted out some of the ones on his clothes.

“Did it work?” he asked. “Maz – did it work?”

“I don’t know, Finn, but you did all you could,” she replied. “Quickly – to the cockpit. My boyfriend could do with another pair of hands!”

“Got it,” Finn decided.

It took him only a few seconds to reach the cockpit, and he used the time to swap out earpieces.

“Poe?” he asked. “How are we doing?”

“You certainly got their attention, Finn!” Poe replied. “Half the fleet is firing at you, specifically! Chewie’s a damn good pilot, I’ll tell you that much – so far he’s dodged more than a dozen turbolaser shots! They’re using the main batteries on you, too!”

“Great, really good to know that’s happening,” Finn said, wincing. “What happens if one of them hits us?”

“Well, good news is, you’ll probably never realize it,” Poe said, then his X-wing rolled past the Falcon and did a weird kind of inverted flip before firing behind them. “That’s two more down!”

“What do you need me to do, Chewie?” Finn asked.

Chewbacca waved over at one of the banks of switches with a mumble, and Finn saw that the whole power system was straining badly to keep up with the demands being placed on it by everything that was going on.

He diverted some power from the front screens, sharing it out to everything else that needed attention, then one of the Star Destroyers closest to the superlaser refit facility blew up.

“Whoa!” he said. “What was that?”

“Don’t know, Finn!” Poe called. “I don’t think we did that!”

“Boys, listen to this!” Maz instructed, then their commlinks crackled.

“-destruction of the Forceful was a warning!” an Imperial officer said, in harsh tones. “Any attempt by Stormtroopers to launch a mutiny will be met with overwhelming force! This is your only warning!”

“That’s the First Order Allegiant General,” Maz told them.

“Well, if this doesn’t work, we can ram the Falcon down his throat!” Rose suggested. “What ship’s he on?”

A moment later, one of the other First Order Star Destroyers opened fire.

On a fellow Star Destroyer.

“This is KL-1138!” a man’s voice called out, over the same frequency. “I am a person, and my name is Kyle! Everything Finn has said is right!”

“I am Brell!” another voice declared, this time a woman. “Starting now, I am not a slave!”

The comm frequencies began to dissolve into overlapping shouts, and Finn felt like slumping over backwards.

They’d done it. Somehow-

No.

It wasn’t a mystery. It wasn’t an unknown.

It wasn’t even something he’d done, mostly.

He’d just reminded them all. They were people.