#sorry you're lonely nonnie

[girlboypersonthingy]

Hello I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but I had an idea about a hazbin hotel request, so what if everyone at the hotel (except Alastor) consider the reader a big sister who takes shit from no one, like will slap someone without hesitation if they talk bad about any of their friends, especially when Valentino tries something will literally beat him up until he's half dead. (If you're not comfortable with writing this that's completely alright and I wish you a good morning/afternoon or goodnight)

Oh, nonnie, you are never a bother! I love getting new requests, feeds my soul tbh. I love this idea too! As much as I love romantic x readers and NS/FW x readers, I also love me some platonic Hazbin 🤍 good morning/afternoon/evening to you and ENJOY!

Notes: fem!reader, this is kinda short sorry, added Alastor at the end but just a snippet :)

TW: aggression, fighting, swearing

Rough and Tough- Hazbin x platonic!reader

Charlie ❤️‍🔥

Adores your passion and bravery but is often the one to hold you back or stand between you and your foe.

She loves keeping you close tho bc she has a hard time asserting dominance and speaking up for herself and you’re always willing to speak your mind on her behalf. You always help uplift and empower her, she greatly appreciates that.

Charlie also really does see you as a sister. As an only child, she grew up pretty sheltered and lonely, but being with you now is really healing her inner child.

When Charlie is having any kind of issue, she always goes to Vaggie, her darling girlfriend. But, when Charlie feels the need to vent about and get advice on her relationship with Vaggie, she turns to you. When Vaggie is busy and away, Charlie goes to you.

Pretty much every weekend, Charlie invites you and the other girls in the hotel to her room for a sleep over and some fun girly time

You def tagged along with her to the meeting with heaven along with Vaggie and while Vaggie is like “keep a cool head, babe.” You’re literally trying to climb up to where Adam is seated so you can rip that smug smile off his stupid, ignorant, narcissistic face and slap Lute with it.

Vaggie’s just panicking as she tries to keep you and Charlie calm lmao

Vaggie ⚔️

TWO PEAS IN A POD TBH

Vaggie adores you and you are often each other’s impulse control and each others biggest instigators

Vaggie getting pissed that someone is trying to sabotage the hotel and storming up to the traitor with her angelic spear cocked back and ready to kill

Enter big sis pulling her back and trying to talk some sense into her

Also you getting livid when someone talks negatively about Vaggie being a fallen angel, or worse being a former exorcist and being untrustworthy

Bad words and ugly names are pouring from your angry mouth, fists balled up and ready to go, muscles tense in anticipation

Cue Vags hugging you as she pulls you away, whispering that it doesn’t bother her so don’t let it bother you

But it bothers you bc you know it bothers her…she doesn’t deserve that.

As Rosie said, maybe she’s trying to be redeemed too…? Being shit talked is only going to put bad thoughts in her head and you can’t stand to see your family belittled like that

Sometimes, if the situation is just bad enough, you and Vaggie lose it together and no one can stop yall now. It’s honestly just as frightening as when Alastor shows his full demon form, you and Vaggie violently teamed up together like this.

Angry Vaggie + Angry big sis reader = a terrible ending for whoever is at the sharp end of her spear and at the mercy of your fists

Angel Dust 🕸️

Is very intimidated by you at first but grows so fond of you as he gets to know you. He admires your courage so much, he wishes he could be more like you.

He never feels safer than when he’s at the hotel with you near by. He knows that whatever he lacks when up against an opponent, you’ll be there to pick up the slack and watch his back.

Angel doesn’t have many true friends or familial figures in hell, and he misses his own sister so terribly. You fill that empty spot in his heart so perfectly, he wishes you had been around when he was still alive.

You two hang out a lot- his flirty, bubbly, goofy demeanor and your kind, accepting but stubborn attitude makes for some fun late night talks and some exciting outings together

Some dude tries to touch Angel out on the street without his consent? Oh fuck no. Before he knows it, the loser demon is groaning from the hard concrete floor as you grab Angel by the wrist, both of you stepping over the banged up body of the handsy asshole.

“It’s called consent! Look it up, ya fuckin prick.” Angel gets such a confidence boost being with you, you are the physical threat and he is the voice that tears them apart even further. You bruise their skin, he bruises their ego

Angel can’t help but laugh everytime you lose it for him. He just enjoys your company and support so much. He says he can handle himself and while he totally can, it’s just nice to have someone back him up, someone who truly cares for him.

Husk 🃏

BRO IS SUCH AN INSTIGATOR!!!

While Vaggie and Charlie often try to hold you back and calm you down, Husk cheers you on in any and every tense situation you find yourself in

“Oooooh you’re in for it now, bone head.” He’ll smirk and watch with a pleased smirk on his face as you pummel some sinner who dared to threaten the hotel and its residents

Husk’s fav pastime is sitting back with a bottle of booze as he watches you just go ham on some stupid, loud mouth loser who tried to pick a fight with the former overlord

Husk isn’t afraid of a fight, he’s not afraid to get up close and personal with the action but he must admit it’s nice to feel cared for enough to have someone sacrifice their own safety just to protect him.

The only time Husk has intervened during one of your episodes of frustration and rage is when Alastor said something to Husk that rubbed you the wrong way. Seeing Husk’s terrified and helpless expression in response to Alastor’s threats lights a fire in your chest.

“How dare you talk to him like that! I don’t give a shit if you own him, he’s not your fucking pet, you piece of-“

Husk practically, no literally begged Alastor to let it go and leave you be which he did but only bc he sort of admired your lack of fear and your loving but fierce protective attitude.

Husk also greatly admires your lack of fear and strong will. He wishes you were his family for real, maybe he wouldn’t be so depressed and fucked up.

Sir Pentious 🐍

Admires tf out of you, babies tf out of you.

He sees you as more of a little sis, wanting to coddle and defend you always.

Sees you coming back to the hotel one day with some bruises and bloody hands and hes immediately comforting you, trying to clean you up even tho you’re clearly fine.

But, he must confess he loves teaming up with you bc together you’re the perfect pair- Pentious with his tools and inventions and intricate weapons and you with your amazing strength and hot headed, witty comebacks and your courage and your quick thinking.

When he feels that he needs to step in and keep you from doing something stupid, he does so with all his might. Pentious would rather face your wrath himself than let you go and get yourself hurt or killed.

Go ahead, take your anger out on him but don’t risk yourself just for him.

You two totally bond over wanting to be seen as evil, devious and powerful but you’re both actually soft little sweet hearts deep down.

You two cry together a lot lmao. It’s always him crying first and then his crying triggers you.

He would frequently talk to you about how you are always so brave, fearless, strong, never faltering, never second guessing yourself. He’d ask where you learned to be so sure of yourself, he wants to learn to be more like that.

Alastor 🩸

SEES YOU AS HIS EQUAL BUT WILL NEVER ADMIT IT. CANT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU STAND YOUR GROUND AGAINST EVERY ENEMY YOU’VE EVER TAKEN ON, EVEN HIMSELF. YOU HAVE NO POWERS, YOU OWN NO SOULS, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS PARTNERS OR BLOOD RELATIVES DOWN HERE SO WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU’RE SO SPECIAL??? YOU’RE NOT SCARED OF HIM? OH, VERY INTERESTING. HE WANTS TO CUT YOUR LITTLE BRAIN OPEN AND EXAMINE IT, YOU’RE JUST AN ENIGMA TO HIM, HE ADORES YOU. WISHES YOU REALLY WERE THE DAUGHTER HE SPAWNED FOR REAL FOR REAL HE’D BE SO PROUD

[saerotonins]

tied red strings of fate

ft. gojo satoru x gn!reader

request: omg .. tadhana by udd + satoru please ? 

content warnings: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, jjk manga spoilers [ch 236], canon divergent, implied that reader knows about curses but is not a sorcerer, lowkey a character analysis but yeah, happy ending

wc: 1283

note: when i saw this request i was so happy because tadhana* is literally one of my fave opm classics! also, im sorry nonnie if this was long overdue, figured i'd give him some fluff at his death "anniversary" heh (albeit a little late). i miss our glorious king sm :(( happy holidays 🎀

song: tadhana-up dharma down

*tadhana=destiny

gojo satoru is a force to be reckoned with. his name rings a bell and brings shivers to the spine of any potential enemies he has. 

he's gojo satoru, the strongest of all, the holy grail of jujutsu sorcery. he's gojo satoru, whose power literally repels and divides everyone else and him.

but to you, he's a lover, a man of his own, an independent being who is capable of emotions. he's satoru. the love of your life.

so when he decided to call it quits, to say you were devastated is an understatement. you were left broken, calling out his name at night hoping he would appear in front of you just one, for closure. him closing the chapter of your book got you weeping and yearning for more of him. 

because even though he's your lover, even you have a hard time of catching a glimpse of who he really is. satoru is an open book, but he's hard to understand. you did all your best to ease him and make him open up, show more of himself to you, bare his truth, the good, the bad, and the ugly, all of them you're willing to accept.

alas, the universe has other plans, the challenge ended even before it began, he is most definitely an enigma, someone that you will probably never get to solve. satoru's backed turned against you was a sight you are never going to forget. you spent months moving on and try to live a life where he isn't yours. it's hard but you try to manage anyway.

so when a knock on your door was heard by the 31st of december, you didn't expect gojo satoru in his full glory standing before you. as shocked as you are, you see his eyes had sunken. he's beyond exhausted but when he sees you, his eyes lighten up and you feel the warmth of his arms and your feet off the floor. you miss this, you miss him, it was all so familiar and something you very much miss. every fiber of your being remembered the way he touched you, triggered by the way his hands gripped onto your waist for dear life. as confused as you are, you reciprocated his gesture, opting to rest your hand on his shoulder blades.

"satoru?" you managed to voice our before you feel him put you down but his embrace remain. he then rests his head on the crook of your neck, then you hear him sniffle. suddenly you feel something drop onto your skin. his tears slowly roll from his face to your neck and shoulders.

satoru's lips wobbles as he tries to contain himself but to know avail, he lets his cries out, deciding to bare himself to you and be vulnerable. he was so so so tired of fighting. as great as the title 'the strongest' sounds, it gets too lonely even for him. being on the top is lonely. and he knows it himself.

he'd rather fall from grace than live a life where he isn't yours. he was too late to realize it. he was so stupid, too cocky, too condescending that it took him facing death before realizing that he wants to live, just for you. so when he finally defeats the evils of the jujutsu world, his first thought is you. the only one who provided light in his dark and desolate world.

as charming and bright satoru is, he is often left in the shadows in the cave but when he came to know you, he was absolutely in love and smitten. you were like a fresh breath of air to him. but when he decides that creeping into your mundane and simple life would rather be selfish of him. someone cursed like him shouldn't be able to be with someone who is blessed and down to earth like you. 

but being selfish be damned, he had faced battles, including one that almost left him biting the dust. he wants you, he needs you in his life and letting you go was definitely a mistake, something that he will never do ever again.

when his cries had calmed down, you finally get his voice again after a long time. "i'm so sorry," satoru started. "i was an idiot, i love you so much and i never stopped loving you. i was so stupid to let you go, i have never loved someone as much as i did with you." satoru knows his worth is probably lesser than any other being the moment he let you go, the only pillar who provided stability and balance in his life. he was impulsive, too proud, and too strong. but the way you held him every time you caged him into your arms is like he was fragile, someone to be protected, someone to cherish.

satoru loved that. and he was stupid to think that was worth letting go.

knowing you has made him scared of death, an entity or event that could break the two of you apart and live in separate worlds, and he couldn't bare to face it. he loves you too much to let himself go and so he fought with you in mind and thank any deity that exists, he finally won.

gojo satoru is the strongest.

so seeing him crumble right before your very eyes as his knees meet the concrete is a shock. he had bowed before you first before he had bowed to any higher up. hell, satoru bowing before anyone else would come as a shock. he held onto your ankle for support, his voice begging to take him back as he spews even more apologies that he can manage.

"please, please, i'm so sorry darling, i'll do what it takes for you to take me back. i love you so much, no other human had made me feel this way, please i'm so sorry. i miss you so much, god, i can't even remember a life before you, please." satoru had begged, begged, and begged, his voice getting louder and louder and each increased volume of his voice his hurt is more evident.

with the way his voice cracked broke your heart, and that's when you knew he meant every single letter, every syllable, every drop of tear, and every breath of his apology. 

you had completely broken the strongest. but satoru doesn't mind. even if you break him a thousand times, he'd painstakingly pick up every single piece of himself to present it to you. and that's what he's doing right now.

"i forgive you 'toru," he barely hears you say through his wails and it slowly comes to a halt. he then lost the feel of your ankles as he sees you kneel yourself to his level. your hands reached to touch his face and there you see his eyes, glassed with tears, love, and regret. satoru feels the heat of your hands on his cheeks and his instincts leaned into it. "i was hurt, but i'm never mad, i just wished you'd tell me why," his heart broke when he heard your voice crack.

"but you're hear now, right? we can fix this, we can fix us." you say as you carefully wipe the tears on his face. satoru nodded as he holds your wrists and caress his thumb on it. "yeah, we'll fix us."

"together?"

"together," satoru said in confidence. 

and with a light heart, satoru leans in to catch your lips on his, sealing his silent promise to never hurt you ever again, or he will never get to forgive himself.

he's gojo satoru.

he'll always find a way back into your arms.

another note: i'm quite unsure with the ending but this is all that i got 😔 i hope this was on par with your expectations nonnie hehe 🫶🏻

[im-not-samantha-im-samanta]

Hello again, nonny!

Oh god, I'm so sorry how long this request took me to make.

I really wanted to make your request since you seem really sweet, but I struggled so much! I changed formats and ideas for your request at least 20 times and I'm so burnt out both creatively and in my personal life.

I'm not fully satisfied with my work, I feel like this piece could've been a bit better. But anyways I really hope you'll find the final results acceptable, and I'm again sorry for the way too long wait.

_

🍎🎶//Not such an awful colour after all...//🎶🍎

(Lilith and Lucifer x gender-neutral!imp!reader)

___________________________________________

Type: Fanfic

Settings: Romantic

Genre: Fluff, though a bit of hurt/comfort feel,

!TRIGGER WARNING!: Reader is hinted to be lonely and maybe a little depressed, hints of Reader having been mistreated in the past, occasional swear words used, idk if it's a trigger but Lucifer is a little awkward at interacting with gender-neutral reader at first (but he's supportive!), mentions of typical Hazbin Hotel stuff like hell, violence, etc., I believe the interaction between Lucifer and Lilith will give you second-hand embarrassment (but I imagine them being this lovey-dovey with each other, sorry), reader is also quite awkward and you'll probably also have second-hand embarrassment from this, and maybe a bit of not-sexual predator/prey feel in some parts is you squint (really not intended in a sexual way), and that should be all!

Sidenote: Reader is written as gender-neutral as per request. But if reader seems to be leaning towards more feminine sense, it's purely unintentional and I apologize!

Sidenote: Lucifer's portrayal is based off what we've seen in the show. As for Lilith, she's written as how the fandom's been portraying her before official release,

Sidenote: It's possible that reader might be a little neurodivergent coded. I just wrote what felt natural to me, and since I'm not a neurotypical, it might've affected Reader's portrayal,

_

That should be all,

Enjoy,

___________________________________________

Ah, those skies of red. Those sweet skies of red, they're all you've ever known.

Just those skies of red. And streets painted in blood, their shade makes you feel at home.

Skies of red, bloodied streets. As well as endless labyrinths bathing in the shade of ruby.

This is what makes up your entire world as a whole.

What makes up every twist, and every corner, even the littlest of crannies.

The colour of red - it seems to be an ever present companion.

A never leaving company, one that cannot be escaped no matter where you go.

Perhaps it is a punishment given to the sinners - to spend eternity in a sea of blood.

And only have a few distant memories of all the colours life holds.

A punishment to daily remind sinners of that one simple truth.

That just like the Pride ring is drained of colours, they themselves are drained of humanity.

At least, that's what's being passed on as the truth...

You yourself are not one of them, you're not a soul lost to sin and temptation.

And yet, you live the same exact way they do - in a single colour world.

Which is the only world you have ever known.

You may be an imp, sure.

You may have the upper hand over sinners, being able to travel outside Pride.

However, hell works just the same way the human world does.

At least in some ways.

Same as with humans, if you in hell don't have the means, the only travelling you can afford is taking out the trash.

And that's all. Nothing more, nothing less.

If we're bring honest here, you actually don't feel like you have the upper hand in this.

Especially considering the fact you're a lowly imp that can barely make a living.

If anything, you would say that sinners are the ones in the lead here.

Because they had experienced something you'd never have - a life outside of hell.

Before getting to hell, all sinners got to experience all the wonders of life.

Especially all those beautiful colours life could hold and come with - something you could only dream of.

You often wonder, though, just how it must feel to have everything you know taken away.

First having everything, and then ending up in a place that lacks most of what used to make up your whole world.

It's a pretty good punishment for sins if you think about it long and hard enough.

But you still don't think it's fair this punishment to see nothing but shades of red involves you too.

You never did anything wrong, and yet you live the same way sinners do.

And that's a fact you've still not accepted, and you probably never will.

The other imps in the Pride ring never seemed to be as bothered by this though.

They never really agreed with your desire of wanting more than just this.

Not even those that were the same as you - without the option to travel or move out of Pride.

Even your own parents always said that you were making this into too much of a big deal.

They didn't understand you, just like none of the other imps around you did.

That fact alone has always made you feel really singled out throughout your whole life.

You felt alone, and like no one really got you or your frustrations regarding living in a single colour world.

You felt like such an oddball - and the other imps didn't really help on that regard.

Most of them would point their fingers at you, and ridicule you.

You experienced that treatment especially when you were younger, still a naive little child.

Because back then you didn't know it was better to keep your mouth shut if your opinions didn't match what the rest thought.

You didn't know any better, but eventually, you've learned to keep such things to yourself.

You had to if you didn't want to continue being lonely and mistreated.

And so, you've pushed your distaste for the colour of red aside, never mentioning it ever again.

Or well, that's how it was until a really unusual and extraordinary day.

On one certain day, a beautiful, vividly turquoise rose was found in Pride.

And it was such an unusual sight that the petite little flower was taken and placed into a museum.

Yet, no one really seemed to care for that small little bloom.

No one really rushed to the museum building to see that little piece of miracle.

No one was excited about it.

No one except you.

It sure felt lonely all over again to be the only one there.

The only one standing in front of the flower secured behind the protective glass.

The only one eagerly wanting to take in every little detail of the flower with true and genuine enthusiasm.

But at the moment you finally got to live your childhood dreams, it didn't really matter.

It was not your loss, it was your gain.

And so, you stood there, gazing fondly at the petite bloom.

And as you did so, you eventually found yourself talking to the flower gently.

"Aren't you just the prettiest little thing all of hell's ever seen?".

You melted over the little miracle as if it could hear.

You spoke to it, letting those turquoise petals know just how much you admired them.

And you could've cared less about whether or not you looked silly.

This was a dream come true - and you've made sure that the little thing knew.

"You have no idea how much I've been wishing for something like you to happen here in hell...".

You found yourself confessing, telling the flower all you've kept inside for years and years.

All of what you've had to push aside and share with no one until this single moment.

And it felt amazing to finally let it all out after suppressing it all for so long.

Even if that small thing probably couldn't even hear or understand any of what you've shared.

Even if all you got in response was just and only deafening silence.

Silence that reminded you that you're the only one around.

The only one to have these certain thoughts regarding your hatred for the colour of red.

And your frustrations about your desires to see more of the colours life can hold.

You really were all alone on this one it seemed...

"Truly a sight to see, am I right?".

A voice broke you out of your thoughts.

And you then found yourself facing a stranger.

An ordinary height man - one with porcelain skin and golden locks for hair.

And two vividly yellow pools for eyes, with their centers of blood red.

Blood red - that one damn, awful shade that you held so much hatred for.

And yet, despite that, you had to admit that the man was quite the looker.

And he definitely knew how to dress - all fancy, and, dare you'd say, flawless.

Well, flawless if you ignored the presence of the colour red in his attire.

But nonetheless, he was truly something you could stare at for hours and not get bored.

And it was quite the surprise that such a man would approach someone like you.

A lowly imp - a creature beneath nearly all of hell kind.

"I wasn't talking about myself, you know?".

The man's voice brought you out of your thoughts for the second time today.

And as his teasing words settled in, you realize that you've been caught staring at him!

A blush immediately covered your face at that realization.

And you profoundly attempted to apologize, stumbling over your words as you did.

The stranger, however, didn't seem all too bothered, nor did he seem disgusted.

If anything, he looked amused, and the warm chuckle he gave reassured you about that assumption.

"Oh, it's nothing to get worked up over,".

The man silenced you gently, waving his hand dismissively.

"I am aware of the effect I have on women, men...".

He went on casually before pausing, and looking you up and down.

"As well as pretty little things such as yourself...".

He grinned at you seductively, but then you could almost see the gears turning in his head.

And as his eyes widened at what seemed to be a realization, his face shifted to a look of panic.

"Sorry- am I allowed to call you a thing? That's not offensive, is it?".

He questioned, making your embarrassment ease up.

He seemed as socially awkward as you at that certain moment.

And you couldn't help but smile as he sputtered some more.

"Fuck- sorry, would it be more acceptable to call you a pretty little person?".

The stranger asked, looking genuinely panicked about the situation.

But before you could reassure him, he went on a tangent.

"Wait- that's probably-".

He sputtered, stumbling over his words without catching a break.

It would be quite a comical sight to see - Him, a gorgeous demon - stressing over possibly having insulted a mere imp.

And to the point of nearly crumbling and begging for forgiveness too.

Truly a scene one doesn't get to see on the daily basis.

You might've even laughed at him if only you didn't feel quite bad for him.

He was obviously a decent person and meant well.

Which was not something you see in hell everyday either.

"Sorry! I've not romanced a gender nonconfirming individual before,".

The man chuckled awkwardly, nervously reaching out with his hand to fix his hat.

But then he almost seemed to choke back on his own chuckle before he, as if in a rush, added:

"-but I'm not actually trying to romance you! I'm just-".

He didn't get to finish his ramblings as you've decided to finally ease his nerves.

"It's all good, no worries,".

You gently cut the stranger off with a friendly chuckle.

And you even offered a soft smile to add to your reassurance.

You genuinely didn't want for this man to stress himself out - he seemed quite sweet.

"You did pretty well for your first time,".

You added in a light-hearted voice, feeling the need to relax the man further.

And to your words, the stranger responded with a surprised blink of his eyes, and his mouth going agape.

But that reaction was short lived as he soon grinned, looking pretty proud of himself.

"I did?".

Was the following verbal answer your reassurance received.

And being the good-natured person you were, you nodded in confirmation.

You didn't get annoyed with him, you actually enjoyed this interaction a lot.

It was like a breath of fresh air to finally talk to someone real.

And someone who was friendly and not a mean-spirited bitch at that!

"Wow, that's... That's a huge relief!".

The stranger chuckled again, but this time it was less awkward, and more warm and relaxed.

"It sure wouldn't do my reputation any good if I were to insult one of my subjects,".

He mused casually while tugging a little at his coat and fixing it to his liking.

"even if by complete accident,".

He added, but then his previous words sunk in, and you had to do a double take.

What did he mean by 'subjects'?

"Um... subjects?".

You voiced your thoughts and confusion, to which the man, still grinning, raised an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah?".

The stranger said with a voice tone that hinted it should be obvious, as if there was no place for confusion.

But you only stared at the man, clearly not getting the memo.

Yet, the man didn't seem offended, he actually seemed more amused than anything.

"Wait, you actually-?".

He broke put into a short, yet hearty laugh as he gripped onto his hat.

He laughed, but he didn't seem to be ridiculing you or have any ill will.

He just seemed to find the whole situation entertaining.

"My- oh, my!".

The stranger's laughter died down, only a few low chuckles leaving him as he uttered those words.

"Now that's something I don't see every day! You don't really do politics, do you?".

He asked you with a playful smirk, his sharp teeth peeking out from under his upper lip.

And you answered with a shake of your head, confirming the man's suspicions.

"Ah, that explains it,".

The stranger mused as he casually leaned onto his cane in the shape of an apple.

"Well, fortunately for you,".

The man began after a short pause, his eyes half-lidded and relaxed.

With a laid-back grin to complete the look.

"I'm not really one of those stuck-up royals who quite literally lose their shit over people not recognizing them,".

He gave a warm chuckle, along with a look of the same warmth as his laugh.

Like sweet honey stirred into a warm cup of tea.

Then, the stranger with the eyes of ruby put his free hand on his hip.

And he casually crossed his legs, all while still leaning against his cane.

He made his pose look so easy, and completely effortless. Like he had no weight the cane needed to support.

It was quite impressive.

And you wondered whether the man really weighed close to nothing.

Or if it was some sleight of hand kinda deal used to gain admiration from others.

Well, whichever case it were, the cane was perfectly still and straight.

As if the handsome demon wasn't even leaning on it.

"Yeah, that's not really my style,".

You heard the male say, drawing your attention back to him instead of the spear-like cane.

And you looked at the male just in time, because you got to see him casually checking his nails at the end of his statement.

Or well, you got to see him looking at where his nails would be as the stranger had black gloves on, giving no access to his nails.

But still, the gesture got the point across.

You understood the action was to deliver his words in a more smug and careless fashion.

Like he saw himself as above the rest of the popular demons.

And maybe as if he looked down on the others.

Not others as in low class.

Others as in the other royals, those who felt insulted if one didn't recognize them.

But that's beside the point.

What mattered more than how he said it, was the context of what he said.

Because the message that sunk in was clear - this man was a high class it seemed.

"Oh... so, you're a royal...?".

You found yourself saying in a way that made it seem like you were asking.

Like you weren't just repeating what was said to you, but like you wanted to hear a confirmation.

But despite that though, the voice tone you spike in wasn't really impressed nor intimidated.

Unlike what would've been expected of you upon such a find.

But your reaction was genuine, contrary to what one might think.

You truly weren't really impressed or intimidated by the revelation - you didn't find any reason to be.

One could call you naive, but you didn't feel the need to cower or be in awe.

Because this handsome demon didn't seem to want that sort of thing.

At least, that's what you assumed based on your interaction so far.

For the demon acted like a normal and ordinary demon, an equal to you even.

And not just that - he's been sweet and considerate the entire time too!

Not to mention you never got just why were royals such a big deal.

So, your disinterest in the man's status was your genuine reaction, it was no act.

"Sure am,"

The stranger nodded in agreement with your words, a low grin decorating his flawless face.

And you couldn't help but feel this laid-back aura coming off him, he seemed like he had little to no care in the world.

And he gazed at you with soft eyes that welcomed you in despite how much you despised their colour.

Oh, and the way he looked at you...

It made you feel like he wasn't bothered by your lack of reaction or lack of appeal for the fact he was a hight class.

It actually felt like he appreciated it. And his next words seemed like a confirmation of that.

"but, you don't have to worry your pretty little head about it,"

He waved his hand dismissively before addressing you with a:

"my dear little any-colour-but-red enthusiast.".

And the way he's addressed you made you pause.

And as your eyes widened, you had to do a double take.

You needed to let the title he's given you fully sink in.

And oh, when it did, your entire being filled shame and embarrassment.

Because if you got it right, then the man's heard your one-sided chat with the flower!

That one embarrassing heart to heart conversation no one was supposed to hear...

"Wait-".

You muttered, feeling your face beginning to heat up.

"you... you heard me...?".

You asked, and you couldn't even say anything more.

You were so embarrassed!

If one could die from shame, you'd be found dead right on your spot at least twice.

And yet, a part of you still hoped the male wouldn't confirm your worries.

A part of you still believed the situation wasn't so bad.

But then all your hopes were shattered.

"Mhm, I sure did,"

The handsome stranger confirmed much to your dismay.

And you were internally screeching.

You were caught sharing your frustrations with a petite bloom.

Talk about awkward.

You were surprised the stranger didn't run from you.

Fuck, this embarrassing moment was gonna stay on your mind til you die.

Even on your death bed this moment would be in your head on repeat.

"Oh my fucking-".

You sputtered and buried your face into your hands.

And you couldn't stop the involuntary, annoyed groan at the situation.

"I... damn... I'm sorry you had to see that...".

You eventually managed to tell the stranger after getting the courage to face him again.

"I would swear to you thar I'm not as odd as I may look right now,"

You went on, despite not knowing why exactly.

You felt the need to explain yourself, make yourself look better.

But you couldn't really.

"but I, unfortunately, do shit like that pretty often,"

Followed your confession.

Being true was the key, right?

Maybe it'd help in your case? You didn't count on

it.

And yet, the friendly demon surprised you.

"That's quite alright,"

You heard him chuckle.

And just like you previously reassured him, now he was to reassure you.

"if anything, I think you're quite endearing.".

He reassured you, voice warm and sweet, just like his eyes and the look he was giving you were.

And you did feel a bit calmer after his words for sure, although you still couldn't get over the fact this man's heard everything.

After all, what you told the flower wasn't something you'd tell just anyone. Let alone to someone you didn't know at all.

But then, the male spoke up again.

"And, between you and me...".

He started, looking into your eyes.

And then, he said those words you've always wanted to hear.

"I agree with you, hell could use more colour.".

There it was. Those words no one's ever told you. Those words you've always craved to hear.

Someone was agreeing with you and sharing your frustrations.

It felt like a dream.

You needed to pinch yourself, just to be sure this was real.

Your ears weren't deceiving you, were they?

"You... you really think so?".

You asked the stranger, your voice low, words cautious.

You didn't want to risk anything.

Your thoughts were racing, you were all tense, and you almost held back your breath as you waited for the man's response.

The male was quiet for a bit, prolonging your nervousness.

But it didn't seem like it was deliberately to make you suffer.

Since his expression softened - his grin was less wide, less smug.

And his eyes held something in them that was hard to read.

It seemed like recognition or compassion...

And maybe if one looked close enough, they would see a hint of sadness and longing.

As if, long time ago, the man's lost something he cherished dearly.

You've never seen anyone look like that.

And maybe this was why you felt the stranger's words were true.

That he was sick of living in a world made of shades of red just like you were.

"Yes, I do,".

He nodded, melancholia taking over the demon's features.

"Losing the opportunity to witness all the colours life can carry is something I mourn over from time to time...".

He confessed to you as he stood straight again, hus stance no longer relaxed, and he gazed longingly at the turquoise rose.

"You know, when I'm in a certain mood...".

He added with a bit lighter tone and a soft smile sent your way.

As if he was trying to make his words seem more light-hearted and not bring the mood down.

His words made a few questions arise in your head.

He confessed to have known a world filled with colours, which would hint at him being a sinner.

But then again, he said he was a royal, so he couldn't be a sinner.

It was confusing, and you had several questions, but you didn't have it in you to ask.

Instead you remained silent, gaze fixating on those turquoise petals.

Yet, you didn't leave the stranger without a reaction.

It may have been daring, maybe even improper, to do this to a royal, but you felt it was the right thing to do.

And so, you gently placed a consoling hand on the man's arm.

And when the male looked at you with a surprised look, you offered a soft smile and eyes full of compassion.

A look to let him know he wasn't alone in this.

And that gesture seemed to mean a lot to the demon as he offered a light smile back, his eyes seeming more lively after your act.

And you two exchanged a gaze of understanding one another, both of you feeling seen.

And then, the two of you gazed back at the turquoise rose, both of you admiring it in silence.

But this time neither of you were alone. This time you both had someone there with you. Someone to share this special moment with.

This was a moment that meant more than any personal possessions - this moment meant everything.

Yet, getting to have everything at one moment doesn't necessarily mean you'll get to keep that everything.

Such moments were a matter of a few minutes, not a lifetime.

And the reminder of this simple truth, came in a form of a voice.

A female voice that awoke a sense of familiarity in you.

Yet, you could not remember where you've heard that voice before.

And and picturing the owner has proven to be even more hard - it was out of the question.

"Ah, there you are!".

A female voice rang through the empty museum halls.

The sound it carried was smooth and feminine, with elegance.

And it evoked a cozy feeling, if that even makes sense.

There was also this slight raspy quality to it, yet the voice was sweet.

Pleasant to the ears.

You and the handsome stranger both turned around.

And the sight you were met with - oh how to even describe it?

You almost found yourself doubting that you were still standing in hell.

Because you could've sworn you were literally seeing an angel.

The woman that approached was like a divine painting.

Her figure was well-endowed, with long and thin legs.

And her face was sharp and flawless, looking as if made up by angels.

As if to add to her beauty - she had blonde long hair.

And that hair draped over her body all the way to the floor.

Like a veil made of gold.

She truly looked like a being straight out of heaven.

And you would dare to say that she rivaled all the depictions of Eve you've heard of.

Though there was one thing ruining the divine image of hers.

And those were her horns.

Wine red, long and curled horns decorating her head.

"Lili!".

The blond male next to you perked up.

He eagerly waved the woman over, a wide smile on his face.

His sharp teeth exposed.

His entire person appeared to have completely livened up.

Contrary to how solemn he was with you just a few moments back.

"My one and only! Where have you been?".

He asked the woman.

Or well, Lili - as he's addressed her.

And he gazed at her with pure adoration, excitement written all over his face.

And the demon stepped forward with a fond look.

"I could've sworn you were by my side the whole time before- poof- and you were gone!".

The handsome demon went on.

His pace of speech was fast and energized.

And he was almost jumbling his words together in the process.

And with his gesticulation coming on strong, the male had a truly disorganized look to him.

He looked as if his thoughts and emotions were all over the place.

As if they were going millions of miles per second.

It was quite a wholesome sight to see.

The previously seemingly well-composed man turning into a little ball of energy?

Just because he laid his eyes on the much taller demoness?

That was a truly cute and wholesome moment, a heartwarming moment even, if you'd dare to say.

"But that's not what happened, Luci."

The demoness responded to the shorter demon.

Or well, Luci, if we're going by how he was addressed.

And the female chuckled warmly.

She didn't seem bothered by the male's antics.

Instead, they seemed to be something she adored and held dear.

And the look in her lilac eyes held nothing but devotion.

Matching the one in the red eyes of 'Luci'.

Then, at her response, the male demon looked confused.

"It's not?".

He questioned, to which 'Lili' shook her head, chuckling again.

And then came the following answer:

"No, not quite. It was actually you who wandered off.".

'Luci' seemed taken aback by the reply,.

And pointing to himself as he questioned further:

"Me?".

'Lili' then nodded softly.

The fond look never leaving her face.

"Are you- are you sure? I don't remember it happening like that...".

The blond male then mused, his brows furrowing.

And gripping his chin in thought, he puckered up his lips.

He seemed genuinely confused about the whole thing.

Which made him look quite silly.

Though you yourself, personally, found the look quite cute.

And 'Lili' probably shared your view on that matter.

Because she chuckled melodiously.

Which was a truly heavenly sound to your ears.

And as she did, she seemed to almost melt over the male.

"And how do you remember it, dear?".

She questioned, and her lilac eyes held a comforting feeling.

Like that one of summer evening.

When it's getting dark and everything is cooling down.

Getting to breathe and rest.

With a campfire nearby, a good chilly drink in hand.

And the sound of crickets in the background.

A warm, yet still cooling feeling.

"Well, first we were holding hands..."

'Luci' began to explain to his female companion.

And as if on cue, his strong gesticulation began anew.

And with that, he followed through with:

"Then we stopped by those Lust jewels - y'know, those Asmodeus used to wear before eventually donating them here,".

Then he paused for a moment.

He seemed to be trying to remember the rest of the details.

"Then, I noticed the signs about the new expositions...".

He added after a moment of silence.

A pause, and then eyes seemed to sparkle.

Almost as if he's made some sort of accomplishment.

He most likely managed to remember more details of what's happened.

At least, that's what you've guessed.

"Oh, yeah!".

The handsome male chirped eagerly.

And he almost jumped on his spot as he went ahead to fill in the rest of what's happened.

At least according to him:

"And then I go: Look, Lili! The sign here says the turquoise rose is on the upper floor! Come!".

He said, imitating, what you assumed, were his previous actions and words.

"And I rushed upstairs while leaving you by the Lust jewels.".

The demon finished casually as he smiled.

He seemed so proud of himself for remembering everything.

But then, his yellow eyes widened, everything apparently sinking in.

"Oohh, yeah... It really was me who wandered off,".

He muttered as an embarrassed and disappointed look took over his features.

"You were right, yeah...".

'Luci' admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly all while 'Lili' had a knowing look.

It was that smug 'I told you so' look, but without the ill-will in it.

Instead the look held a playful feel.

A playful feel like that of a simple lovey-dovey banter.

A lovey-dovey banter with no hard feelings.

"Oh, Lili- my love!".

The handsome male called dramatically.

And he took ahold of the taller demoness' hands, squeezing them.

"I have committed such shameful act! Can you ever forgive me, my queen?".

He asked in such a over exaggerated, over dramatic voice.

And he looked a few seconds away from dropping to his knees.

Possibly to loudly and unnecessarily plead for forgiveness.

But that wasn't all yet, because 'Luci' added to the scene.

'Luci' began planting soft kisses onto the female's hands.

Yeah, that wasn't really a scene you'd care to watch.

Talk about uncomfortable.

You just had to look away from the two.

And not only was the scene unpleasant to witness.

But you also didn't want to be seen as some kind of perverted freak.

Like, being caught watching this sort of scene?

Yeah, that wasn't on your bucket list.

And so, you directed your focus back on the turquoise rose.

You wanted to give the two the privacy they probably should have.

And surprisingly, it wasn't as hard to tune the two out.

If you focused on the little bloom hard enough, that is.

You were only brought back to the conversation when you heard yourself being mentioned.

"And who's your friend, Lulu?".

The blonde female asked as her gaze met yours.

Her lilac eyes flashed red for a moment and the shade made you really uncomfortable.

It made you want to shrink, if not straight up run away.

And it was hard to tell if you felt that way because of how much you hated the colour red.

Or if it was because the woman's gaze was suddenly so strict and intimidating.

She seemed to be sizing you up, analyzing, judging...

But before you could muster up the courage to introduce yourself, 'Luci' did it for you.

Or well, he attempted to do so.

"Oh! That! That's...".

He eagerly attempted to introduce you.

Motioning to you with his hand as he grinned wide.

But when the blond male realized he actually didn't know your name, he let his hand drop back to his side.

And he chuckled awkwardly.

"I actually have no idea!".

He chuckled awkwardly, making you feel somewhat more nervous.

The way 'Lili' studied you left you quite uneasy and all tense, you were a little panicked.

Because suddenly a thought came to your head.

What if the woman could see you as some sort of homewrecker?

As someone trying to get with the male she so obviously dated?

That thought caused a tight feeling in your chest.

You found it hard to breathe.

And 'Luci' wasn't making it much better, despite not having any ill intent.

At least you hope he didn't.

"I guess we just got a little lost in our conversation,".

The male said.

He sounded much more casual with this statement.

And he fixed his hat a little.

"Isn't that right, my any-colour-but-red enthusiast?".

'Luci' addressed you with a grin.

Pulling you into the conversation without giving you any time to prepare.

Yeah, he wasn't making this situation any easier to handle.

And not having expected to be involved in the chat, your mind went all blank.

You had not anticipated that.

You were not prepared for this scenario.

So, the only reaction you could come up with was an awkward smile.

An awkward smile and a quick nod sent towards the tall female.

You really hoped that if 'Lili' was reading between the lines, she'd see it really was just an innocent interaction.

An innocent interaction and nothing more.

"Ah, I see... how sweet".

'Lili' hummed.

Unbothered, unphased - that's how you'd describe her.

She seemed so well-composed and proper in every way.

Even all of her movements were just so elegant and correct.

If that makes sense.

Natural - that's another words you'd use for the female.

All her responses seemed just so natural and right.

Especially compared to you.

Yeah, nothing about her said 'socially awkward', unlike how it was in your case.

And, as if that wasn't enough - she was also truly hard to read.

You couldn't tell what she was thinking, she was unpredictable.

She could be planning on tearing you apart and you'd never be able to tell!

And that made the demoness so much more intimidating to you.

Especially considering you had a feeling that, unlike you, she could read you perfectly.

That, or she could be potentially misreading you - that would definitely make things worse.

"And I take it your little chat must've been quite entertaining if you've managed to hold my dear husband's attention for so long,"

The blonde's lilac gaze bore into yours once again.

Her long eyelashes gave her eyes a thin and sharp look.

They were like two black, massive folded fans.

You couldn't tell if they were natural lashes or false ones.

Anyways, her words were followed by a smirk - one that made you feel unsafe.

Predatory, dangerous - that was the air her smirk carried.

And you felt like you were about to fall prey to the demoness.

Like you were going to meet the same fate a little mouse meets at the claws of a cat.

Even the female's pupils seemed to be cat-like slits, as if to only add to that feeling.

And you were so sure that 'Lili' would've pounced on you.

If only 'Luci' didn't chime in.

"Hey! My attention span isn't so bad!".

The male demon called, hands on his hips as he looked quite offended.

Yet, he smiled playfully afterwards.

So, it was safe to assume that he wasn't truly as insulted as it may have seemed.

And another argument for that claim would be the man's next actions.

For his body took a much more relaxed stance, and he added:

"But yeah, yeah, it was a good chat,".

And he then simply fixed his hat a little as it previously nearly slipped off his head when he so intensely perked up at his wife's little jab at his person.

But shortly just after fixing his hat, the demon perked up again.

Almost sending his hat flying off his head once more.

"because-".

'Luci' jumped up.

He seemed to have recalled the exact context of the chat he had with you a few moments ago.

And suddenly, he no longer looked relaxed or casual.

Instead, in an blink of an eye, his calm demeanor switched up for a much more energetic one.

He acted like a little ball of energy once again.

"you won't believe it, Lili- but this little imp actually shares our passion!".

The blond male said with a wide grin.

And he started gesticulating strongly again.

Almost as if he was practitioning pantomime.

He seemed just so eager to share this with his female companion.

And he spoke so fast and excitedly that he almost struggled to breathe.

But after a long and deep breath, 'Luci' managed to sputter out the rest:

"They also think hell could use more colours! Isn't that- isn't that awesome, Lili??".

And at the mention of your desire to see more colours in hell 'Lili's eyes seemed to spark with interest.

"Oh, you don't say.".

She mused.

Her thin fingers grazed her face for a second, her eyebrows raising up a little.

And her expression softened.

Then, another light smirk appeared on her face.

But imposing isn't a word you'd call that smirk she wore.

This certain smirk was different than the previous ones.

This one seemed much safer, and almost friendly.

And 'Lili' had something more lively about her as she said:

"Well then, it seems we'll get along just perfect,".

And with those words, the blonde demoness took a step towards you.

"May I ask for your name? I'm sure that'd be much preferable than being referred to as any-colour-but-red enthusiast.".

The female told you with a short, yet warm chuckle.

And a hand casually rested on her curvy side.

Most of the intimidating demeanor she previously had seemed gone.

She seemed to have eased up.

Which gave her a more approachable feel.

And thanks to that, you yourself felt much more at ease being in the woman's presence.

So, it wasn't as difficult to muster up the courage to speak as it was before.

"Oh- y-yeah... I'd much rather be called by my name, yeah, that'd be much better, totally,".

You chuckled awkwardly.

And nodding your head with a light smile, you rubbed at the back of your neck.

You were rambling a little too.

You still felt a bit of unease.

But that was to be expected.

Considering you've not had this much of genuine social interaction in years.

But, 'Lili' didn't seem to mind.

She just looked at you with almost a motherly, compassionate look.

And she waited for you to introduce yourself with patience.

"Oh- damn- I'm rambling again, sorry,".

You said nervously after a short pause when you were processing your own actions.

And you almost started rambling anew before you caught yourself going that direction.

And you stopped yourself.

You needed to compose yourself.

You didn't want to drive her away by your social incompetence.

"Ahem, anyways, yeah, my name... I'm (Y/N),".

You finally introduced yourself.

And proud of your accomplishment, your inner self did a little victory dance.

Then, remembering how social interactions work, you added in:

"It's really a pleasure to meet you.".

You nodded with a smile before perking up and quickly saying:

"Ah- erm- both of you,".

And you sent a timid smile towards 'Luci', wanting to acknowledge him as well.

You didn't want for him to feel left out.

Your gesture seemed to be appreciated as the blond male smiled right back.

But instead of 'Luci' speaking up, it was his wife to follow though with the conversation.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well.".

'Lili's voice pulled your gaze right back at her figure.

And your full focus was on her once again.

"Truly it is, (Y/N).".

The demoness added in, nodding her head as if to confirm her statement.

After that, another smile formed on her lips, and she had this slightly amused look to her.

"Now, normally I would suppose that there's no introduction needed on our part,".

She mused, a hand resting on her chest while she leaned over a little, towering over you.

Her tall frame casted a bit of a shadow over you, making you feel much smaller than you actually were.

And she got so close that you could smell her expensive perfume.

But that was the least thing you needed to focus on.

You needed to listen to her words - which you forced yourself to do.

"but judging by this entire interaction, I would say you have absolutely no idea who we are,".

You heard 'Lili' say as your focus was back on the context of her words.

And her entire person was once again imposing as she finished her sentence.

She was wearing a light, entertained grin - one that exposed her pearly white fangs.

And despite her grin being quite pronounced, it did not take off her elegance.

If anything, it only made her more heavenly gorgeous.

And showing those pointed teeth some more, she asked:

"Am I correct in that assumption?".

With that question, she raised an eyebrow.

Her expression wasn't confused as one might have assumed, though.

No, the demoness seemed to already know your answer.

And that knowing look she wore only further confirmed that claim.

Perhaps you were right when you assumed 'Lili' could easily read you.

That realization alone made your eyes widen, and you sputtered:

"Oh- y-yeah- that would be right.".

You nodded your head with an awkward smile, feeling both nervous and embarrassed.

And your nervousness was, of course, affecting you, as you rambled a little just like you previously did:

"Yeah, I have no idea who you two are... I don't do politics and famous people... buuuut, you're... probably someone... important...?".

At your guess, both 'Lili' and 'Luci' chuckled, and they exchanged a glance.

"Oh dear, you have no idea,".

The blonde demoness stated as another soft chuckle left her lips.

Then she covered her lips with her fingers for a few seconds, looking amused.

And the way 'Lili' and 'Luci' were gazing at you left you unable to do anything other than smile awkwardly.

Their gazes were hard to describe, but you felt preyed upon.

Just like you previously felt with the women at the start.

Except it felt a bit different in a way you couldn't quite describe.

Not to mention that this time 'Luci' was a part of it.

The male demon's even gotten closer to you just like his wife did a while ago.

"They're precious, aren't they, Lili?".

'Luci' suggested as he stepped forward.

His gaze was focused on you, and he was giving a sharp toothed grin.

A grin that called for you - begged you - to read between the lines.

But that could be just your imp nature speaking, right?

After all, imps were used to being the prey to other demons.

So it made sense for you to be alert around other demon species, right?

Well, even then, the answer 'Lili' gave to 'Luci's question didn't help you feel safer.

"Quite so, Luci,".

'Lili' mused as her gaze trailed over your whole person.

She was looking you up and down with predatory eyes - like a snake looking at a little mouse.

Her gaze was unnerving, and the female didn't seem to bother with doing that action subtly either.

As if she felt no shame in doing so.

Almost as if she wanted for you to be aware of what she was doing.

And as if that wasn't alarming enough, 'Lili's gaze then trailed off towards 'Luci'.

The two looked at each other, exchanging a certain gaze.

You couldn't tell what kind of gaze it was exactly, but it made you feel so much more preyed upon.

It appeared as if the two were wordlessly agreeing on something, plotting even.

And you didn't like that one bit.

But before you could even think to perhaps run off, the couple directed their attention back at you.

"Well, dear (Y/N)... It seems an introduction is in order,".

'Lili' then told you in a smooth voice as she once agai leaned over you in one elegant movement.

Meanwhile 'Luci' stood aside, watching the further interaction with an eager grin.

"Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Lilith,".

The blonde demoness introduced herself, a hand on her chest.

Then, she motioned to the male beside her with her hand.

And the demon in question stepped forward, placing his hand into the female's palm.

"And this is my husband, Lucifer.".

Lilith introduced the male, making you pause.

You needed a moment to do a quick double take on that information.

But before you could even questioned anything, the mentioned male spoke:

"Lucifer Morningstar. It's a pleasure to officially meet you, (Y/N).".

And with those words, the world suddenly seemed to stop and freeze in time.

Your mouth and throat went completely dry, and your pulse seemed to halt.

The room seemed to begin to spin, your body breaking into cold sweat.

And all you could hear was loud and painful ringing in your ears.

This couldn't be real.

"W-wait...".

You attempted to speak, your eyes wide.

You wanted to say something - anything!

But your brain seemed to have crashed and gone blank.

You were unable to formulate a single simple sentence.

You were at loss for words.

And at loss for breath too it seemed.

Your throat was all closed up, and all you could give was a pathetic little gasp for air.

"Oh? Oh? What is it, dear?"

Lucifer looked entertained - and it was the same for Lilith.

The pair watched you do a bit of your mental gymnastics with amused gazes.

Both were grinning.

Seemingly finding some kind of joy in you finally realizing just who you were dealing with.

"Do those names... I don't know... maybe ring a bell?".

Lucifer asked you in a sweet and seemingly well-meaning, yet still condescending voice.

He sounded playful, as if this was just some kind of a game.

But when the demon got no response from you, he grinned wide and turned to his wife:

"Why, Lili, I have a feeling those names do ring a bell to them,".

And Lilith, seemingly equally as amused, nodded along:

"Yes, it certainly seems like it, Lulu,".

You had absolutely no idea as to what to do in this situation.

Your brain was way too overloaded to figure out a possible solution for this.

Thinking was out of the question, so was talking yourself out of this situation.

You were so fucked.

And so, acting on default, you dropped to your knees, hands in a praying position, attempting to ask for forgiveness.

You didn't dare look at the two, your eyes being directed to the ground as your entire body trembled.

And you pitifully tried to verbally ask for forgiveness of the pair too.

But all you could force out were just pathetic little noises and sputters of nonsense.

"Now, that's quite a bit of an extreme reaction, don't you think?".

Lucifer mused all so casually, sounding unbothered by the display.

And Lilith matched the casual, unphased voice tone, saying:

"Come now, get off the floor, dear. The ground is way too dirty for you to be sprawling all over it like that,".

After that, Lucifer chimed in again, following through with:

"Yeah, and you might want to wipe off those tears as well, they're a bit too dramatic,".

Their words and reaction confused you so, and made you pause.

You didn't know what was going on - you've not expected this.

They were supposed to tear you apart, weren't they?

Because you didn't recognize them and talked to them so casually, right?

Well, not even Lucifer's next words made that any clearer.

In fact, you actually ended up feeling even more confused then.

"And I gotta ask: is your memory not working well?".

Lucifer asked, and a hint of disappointment lingered in the air.

You didn't understand his words, or his voice tone.

Both only made more questions arise.

And you cautiously looked up to him,

"wha- what?".

You muttered, voice barely loud enough to be heard.

You felt almost afraid to question what Lucifer's said.

You just can't help yourself but be fearful of the male.

Even if he's been nothing but pleasant to you the whole time.

But, could anyone even really blame you for your unease and fear?

He was the literal Devil, and you've treated him like an equal.

There was no way that Lucifer wasn't insulted or upset over this.

"I mean, I told you I'm not one of those royals who lose it if one doesn't recognize them, no?".

Well, it turned out your assumptions were all wrong.

These words that Lucifer's said have proven you wrong.

He didn't seem upset whatsoever, and his words confirmed that.

Sure, he sounded just a little disappointed with you in a way.

But he was not upset, which definitely was a relief.

However, you still had yet to properly calm down and relax.

"Y-yeah... you did...".

Was all you've managed to clumsily force out.

And your voice tone sounded just a little surprised.

That was because you've experienced a bit of a realization.

Truth be told, you've completely forgotten about your previous conversation.

You've forgotten just what kind of a royal Lucifer told you he was.

And when you remembered the male's previous words, your eyes widened a little.

Yet, your mind didn't feel any clearer, you still felt the same.

So, saying anything more was a task you could not achieve.

But, the devil went on with the conversation anyways.

"Then what's up with that reaction?".

He questioned you, an eyebrow raised.

He sounded almost judgemental at that certain moment.

He even looked the part - an unimpressed gaze, a hand on his hip.

Yet, somehow, there was still no feeling of ill-will to him.

Still, it wasn't any easier for you to think of what to say.

"I- I... well... y-you see...".

You clumsily attempted to explain yourself.

But a weak little mutter was all that you could give.

You couldn't say anything more, your brain felt too empty.

Everything that's happened just left you with a clouded mind.

And your thoughts and emotions were all over the place.

So, a soft mutter and a distressed whimper was the best you could do.

But Lucifer didn't seem to mind that, not even in the slightest.

"Nah, I'm just pulling your leg!".

He called with a hearty chuckle.

And he dismissively waved his hand as he added:

"I totally get the whole dropping to your knees thing!".

"I mean, we're literally the rulers of hell, so it makes complete sense for you to act this way,".

The blonde male went on and on.

He seemed to be having a good laugh at all of this.

And he gesticulated and spoke all enthusiastically.

But you didn't really catch any of what was being said.

Your brain was way too overloaded to be able to do so.

And the longer Lucifer spoke, the worse you began to feel.

Much to your relief though, Lilith finally chimed in once again.

"Luci, I think you're completely overwhelming the poor thing,".

The queen of hell noted.

She sounded a little amused just like the male was.

Yet, there was a clear hint of concern in the way she spoke.

"Oh, am I?".

The king of hell paused.

Finally, he took a moment to take in your state.

And when he did, he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and mused:

"Yeah... I think I am,".

After Lucifer noted that, Lilith focused and spoke directly to you.

"We apologize, (Y/N).".

She started in a gentle tone.

And her expression was not as amused anymore.

At that certain moment, she seemed almost apologetic.

But not too much.

"It's just that it's not often someone doesn't recognize us, and we couldn't help ourselves,".

The demoness explained.

And you could've sworn her eyes held genuine concern in them.

Although her overall stance didn't really change much.

The tall blonde was still perfectly well-composed.

And she still appeared mostly unphased.

Then she finished her speech with:

"all was meant in good fun,".

At that final explanation, you paused.

Your racing thoughts came to a full stop.

And processing Lilith's words, you said cautiously:

"S- so we're... all good?".

Your words came out slow and soft.

And you were careful with your wording too.

You were kind of testing the waters in a sense.

The two rulers of hell kept surprising you.

They were continuously proving to not be a threat to you.

Yet one could never be fully sure - especially not in Hell.

And especially not as mere little imp.

Your question was met with a warm smile from Lilith.

And she nodded to your words, confirming them.

"Yes, we're all good".

She confirmed.

Relief washed over you then.

And you made sure to voice that.

"Oh- holy shi- I'm so relieved!".

You breathed.

And only then did you get off the ground.

"Fuuuuck,".

You gave a breathy chuckle.

And you wiped some metaphorical sweat off your forehead.

You felt on cloud nine - as if you've escaped death.

So, you couldn't really control your vocabulary at the moment.

Not like it mattered anyways.

"For- for a moment I thought-".

You stumbled over your words a little.

This entire thing felt just so unreal.

You were overwhelmed again.

But this time not exactly overwhelmed in a bad way.

"For a moment I thought it'd be off with my head or something!".

You admitted.

And you gripped your head.

You needed a moment to fully process everything.

"Whaaat? No! No, we'd never do that!".

Lucifer called, pulling your focus back to himself and his wife.

He looked and sounded astounded.

As if not grasping just where you got that idea from.

But then he paused, and he gripped his chin in thought.

"I mean, we probably did that at some point, centuries and centuries ago...".

He thought out loud.

And that made your eyes widen a little.

You couldn't tell of he was just kidding around again or not.

And you almost felt your unease returning.

But then came the following exchange.

"Or did that happen only in a dream...?".

The Devil mused, confused and uncertain.

To which Lilith shushed him gently yet disapprovingly:

"Lulu, you're not helping,".

That was all she said.

She didn't deny or confirm anything.

And Lucifer perked up just then.

"Oh- yeah, right... that was a little beside the point I was trying to make...".

Lucifer admitted awkwardly.

He even gave a slight apologetic look for a quick moment.

But that expression of his was pretty much short lived.

Since then he relaxed and offered a friendly smile.

"Sorry, dear (Y/N), I tend to trail off sometimes.".

He told you, voice calm and pleasant.

And his words were even accompanied by a low chuckle.

"I can confirm that,".

Lilith voiced in, her tone just as pleasant, as well as humorous.

The mood in the room suddenly felt much better.

It felt easier to just be in the moment.

Lilith's little jab at Lucifer's expense made the male give a playful glare.

And to that, the demoness offered a playful smirk back.

Then, the blond male spoke again.

"Anyhow, I think we should properly apologize for how we...".

Lucifer trailed off.

Seemingly trying to find the right term to use.

"had fun at your expense?".

Lilith filled the rest in.

Helping her lover name what they did correctly.

And the male nodded in agreement:

"Yeah... that'd be the word,".

Then, Lucifer added:

"So, what can we do to apologize?".

The words of the pair had you astonished.

After all, they did give you a verbal apology already.

So, you'd just assume the situation was over.

It wasn't like you wanted anything more from them anyways.

After all, getting an apology out of someone as an imp was near to impossible.

And having someone want to do a selfless act to undo their wrongdoing?

That was twice as impossible.

No one really cared for imps.

Nor did they really see them as equals.

And yet, here were the two highest ranking demons in all of hell.

Both of them treating you fair and with respect.

You were so beneath them.

Yet they treated you more kindly than your own kin.

And maybe even more kindly than you treated yourself.

"Oh- no, no, that's completely alright!".

You dismissed the pair's offer.

You really weren't used to such treatment.

And you almost felt bad if you were to accept.

"No real harm was done! All's good!".

You went on.

You really didn't want for these two to burden themselves for your sake.

Honestly, it felt a little wrong.

However, your dismissiveness got matched.

Lilith and Lucifer weren't accepting of you waving it all off.

"No, no, we insist!".

Lucifer cut your efforts off.

And he matched your own voice tone.

Dismissive and insistent, and also a bit loud.

"Truly, we insist.".

Lilith nodded along, not letting you speak.

"After all, words are just so cheap - actions speak much louder".

She persuaded some more.

And the Devil was there to her aid, saying:

"So, even if we shall do just a simple act like buying you coffee... We insist,".

Of course, your first instinct was to keep declining.

Yet, something in you had you pause and think.

This was an opportunity like no other.

For you seemed to get along well with the two so far.

And the pair seemed to understand you like no one else.

After all, the two shared your view on Pride needing more colour.

Who knew if you didn't have more things in common?

And perhaps this was the moment you've always been waiting for.

Did you really want to sabotage yourself and throw it all away?

The answer was no.

No, you didn't.

And so, with a bit of hesitation, you stated:

"I guess... that coffee does sound good?".

And with your sheepish smile and answer the deal was sealed.

Because the king and queen both grinned.

"Good, I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about,".

Lilith hummed.

She sounded pleased.

"And we'll start with why Pride needs more colour".

Lucifer added in.

And he gave a playful wink.

Then, his red eyes met yours for a moment.

And the Devil smiled at you before calling eagerly:

"Off to a cafe we go!".

And with that, the male rushed towards the museum exit.

He seemed to completely forget about you and Lilith.

"You'll get used to it,".

Lilith told you with a smile.

And as her lilac gaze met yours, her eyes flashed red again.

But this time her red eyes didn't intimidate you.

You two then went ahead to follow Lucifer.

And on your way out of the museum, you had just one thought.

That being:

That now you couldn't really hate the colour of red as much as you used to.

___________________________________________

[lemotmo]

Unfortunately, probably so

Q. He's been on set. They're just not showing him there yet. You're out of your mind if you think he's not there.

Q. Honest thoughts: is he going to be in season 8 or no?

A. I don't believe he has been on set yet, anon. I do think he will be there but it's pretty obvious that he hasn't been there yet. Perhaps you can check the fake Twitter account for his exact whereabouts. Second anon, yes I believe he will be around for at least most of 8a. I don't think we will see that much of him but I think he'll be around. I don't trust Tim at all to not play with that dynamic a bit. He has said several times in the past that he hasn't defined Buddie yet because he likes the idea of relationship drama. If the plan is actually Buddie, I don't think he will be able to resist using Tommy to create some drama. Once he puts Buck/Eddie together that is it relationship wise, that is their endgame so drama for them, at least in the way Tim talks about things, will have to be manufactured in other ways. I love a lot of things about Tim but I don't trust him at all to not use Tommy to build up the drama pre Buddie. Especially if they did bring in Lone Star writers. They just write completely differently tone wise. I absolutely loathe the idea because it will be virtually unbearable around here throughout that entire process, and it's possible, given the behavior that Tim became aware of, that he changed direction a bit, but I still don't trust him to get there in the best way. It's just too easy of a route to take. There have been a few people who managed to figure out that the cameo videos came to a stop around the same time they started writing for the season. So along with whatever conversation took place, I'm sure Lou got his final episode count and just decided to go ahead and walk away from them. So while I think his return will still only be a handful of episodes I think it's going to be a rough handful of episodes. If I get canon Buddie out of the drama I don't care how we get there, but I know lots of people do so I want to try and prepare myself now. And once it becomes apparent that Tommy is just drama in the lead up to Buddie his people are going to become downright unbearable. I'm very excited about lots of things but I just want to get his part over with.

For the record, anon, I'm praying like crazy that I'm wrong. I want to be wrong. I want to be wrong so badly.

Thank you Nonny!

Yeah, I also expect Lou there for a few more scenes. It'll suck to find out that he's on set. Not because of him specifically, because it will give the storyline a fitting ending on screen and it might be interesting to watch it play out for Buck as a character. (Even though I agree that, if Tim really wanted to, he could make Buddie happen without the Tommy factor involved.)

But because of the reaction of a certain subset of the fandom. The loud Tommy stans will be proclaiming that Lou is there as a main now and he's going to ask Buck to marry him or something unhinged like that. And then when they realise, during season 8, that BT's relationship isn't going to last very long, they'll throw a loud tantrum like a bunch of 5 year olds who don't get a sweet before dinner.

I'm just over all of that nonsense.

What this fandom needs right now is some peace without a very loud minority trying to harsh our buzz.

Also, to be honest... I don't care how they make Buddie canon either. I've been here for 6 seasons now. I'm tired. The time is now. However they do it, I'll just be happy about it, no matter how it happens.

And finally, I'm also manifesting that Ali (and me as well) is wrong. Very very wrong indeed. Sorry my dear. :)

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[thisismeracing]

hello! okay so #2 is screaming charles for some reason? can it be angsty? please and thank you.

I don't know why, but I absolutely agree, nonny. Hope you like it! ❤️‍🔥

From the Quick Prompt List: 2. “I would have never let you down like you did to me”

word count: 0.7k

pairing: reader (she/her pronouns) x charles leclerc

warnings: angst, not proofread, mentions of a breakup, and cheating. no happy endings.

When you love someone, that person is the last one you expect to hurt you. Yet, you're aware that if they ever do, it would destroy you.

Charles Leclerc was this person to Yn. The one capable of building and destroying her world in the blink of an eye, but when she noticed it was too late. She was into deep, he was too attentive, too affectionate. Charles was not ashamed to show his love for her, to hell the cameras and the gossips, he would kiss you and hold you and talk about you every possible time.

When she comes to think about it, Yn wonders that maybe that's the reason why she never thought he would do what he did. There were no small signals, or things she could have predicted to her or anyone around. Yet, it happened.

"Why?" it's a simple question. Just one word. She's staring directly at his green eyes, they're full of tears doting his once oh-so-pretty features, while Yn's holding hers back.

"I don't know, babe, I- there's no explanation, it was an accident-"

Y is quick to interrupt, "An accident?? Are you even hearing yourself right now, Charles? An accident is forgetting to pick up dry cleaning, not buying enough groceries for a gathering, or crashing your car while parallel parking," she goes on naming things that they went through together and ended up becoming inside jokes. Their inside jokes. Their domestic moments. All ruined now. "A lot of things can be labeled as an accident, but what you did was cheating. You betrayed me!" although there's so much hurt in her voice, her tone is still even, her face still dry. She's way too hurt, she's way too shocked, still trying to process what he did to her after years of what everyone would call "undying love".

"I am really really sorry, Yn. I got drunk and I- I was so... I've missed you so much and then I don't know I felt lonely."

"Now it's my fault because I wasn't around? Is that what you're saying?"

"God, no, babe! You're just twisting my words."

"Because you're not making any sense!! You're trying to justify something unjustifiable," she takes a deep breath, runs her hands on her hair and face, and then drops it by her side defeated.

"I am sorry, Yn. Please, believe me, love. I will spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, but please, just give me another chance. At least try to listen to me," Charles is looking at her, eyes pleading, body as defeated as hers. It did affect him as well, she wasn't surprised, but it was different when you're the one cheating and not being cheated on.

His eyes used to be so comforting to her. He used to look angelic, his messy brown hair like a halo on top of his head, the small dimples always greeting her whenever they shared eye contact. Right now, he looked ugly. Not because he was disheveled, but because he wasn't her boyfriend anymore, that wasn't the man she once loved. That was the shell of a man, the shell of a man who cheated on her.

The silence goes on for a couple of minutes which feels like hours, it's thin and can almost cut both of them, Charle's sniffs the only sound from inside the apartment. From the windows Yn can see the city, she can hear the cars honking, life happening, and so many people and possibilities. It's crazy how her world was crumbling down, while the rest of the world was normal. It was just a normal Tuesday, but not for her nor for Charles. Tuesdays would never be the same, or maybe they would, but it would take time.

She finally breaks the silence, "I would have never let you down like you did to me," finally one tear slips from her eyes, it travels down her cheek and slides to the floor. The monégasque feels his heart contract, it physically pains him to watch it all godown, but he knows it was his fault and his fault only. "Now you're dead to me, Charles," it's a whisper, it almost feels like a curse a fairy would throw upon an ungrateful person because that's how Charles starts to feel like he's dying. His mistake cost half of his future, the secure and stable half, the half he promised to cherish and protect, and love. The half that did it all for him, loved, cherished, and protected, the half that now talked out of his front door and left his place as cold as if it was a winter night.

Wrote this listening to a bunch of songs about cheating, but mainly "RIP" by Olivia Obrien (that's where I took the prompt phrase from hehehe) hope you guys like it, don't forget to like, reblog, comment, and send me an ask, send to your besties, whatever you feel like doing or all the above, I will love you anyways. *mwah*

[kissesforsatoru]

Your writing is awesome! Can I possibly ask for some headcanons for Izana Kurokawa?

pairing : izana x gn!reader

summary : general yandere hc’s for izana

⤷ cw : NSFW 18+, general yandere themes, manga spoilers, violence, threats, manipulation, unhealthy relationships.

notes : i’m gonna be totally honest, i didn’t read the manga before i got this ask, but i spent all yesterday reading it so that i could do this for you nonnie. and let me tell you,,, i have some THOUGHTS about izana. but it’s kinda long sorry 😭

– izana doesn't really like people, especially new people, so the only way i see this happening is if shinichirou introduces the two of you while he's still in the detention center. and even then, he would hate you at first. you aren't his family, you don't care about him--you're just here because shin is, and that really annoys him. he thinks that you're just trying to take up his precious time with shinichirou, and it pisses him off more than anything--even if you smile at him sickeningly sweet and genuine, even if you're nicer to him than you are shin, even if you only seem to pay attention to him the entire visit, all you'll ever receive from him for the longest time is a sneer of his lip and the cold shoulder.

– but eventually his hatred for you drives him to think about you more than he would like to. and he notices every little thing about you because it all drives him mad with annoyance--like how you gasp and perk up whenever shin catches you in a lie or tells an embarrassing story about you, or how you get quieter when you have a snack or drink with you, or how you can't sit still when you're excited- or how when you're tired you start to sway and your pretty eyes start flutter, and he can tell you're trying desperately to stay awake but you always fail miserably. he hates every single one of those annoying habits, but god, does it make his heart flutter whenever he thinks about them after you and shin leave.

– then one day you just stop coming. he doesn't know why because shin refused to tell him, but of all the things that ever pissed him off about you, this one was the one that got him most riled up. so, when he's finally out of the detention center the first thing he does after meeting shin is find you, and once he does, you will belong to him--even if he doesn't kidnap you or even talk to you at first, you're still his.

– izana is a very manipulative and patient man, so he will wait till he has you in the palm of his hand to take you, no matter how long that takes. he'd install cameras and listening devices in your house, have trackers installed on multiple of your devices, do background checks on you and have his men stalk you--anything he can do to get information about you, it'll be done. he wants to know everything about you so that he can use it all to manipulate you into being his, but also so that he can be the perfect person for you. if he already knows your favorite foods and drinks, if he already knows the shows you like, if he can already pick up on your slight mood changes, if he does the things that make you swoon, then you're more likely to only need him and not some other person

– and once he has you, i honestly think he'd be worse than mikey, because at least mikey has a support system, but izana does not. he's unstable and doesn't trust people easily or at all, which makes him lonely. so when you're the only person left aside from kakucho that he truly loves and cares about, there's no way that he's letting you go or even giving you the chance to think about leaving him. he locks you up and only ever lets you leave if he's with you and if it's absolutely necessary. you don't have friends- why would you need them anyway? you have izana. and if you're really that desperate then izana will begrudgingly let you call kakucho your friend. but he wants you to depend on only him, because if you're gonna be the only person he has, then he will be the only person you have.

"i'm the only one you have, angel. nobody understands you like i do, not even kakucho. you need me, just as much as i need you, okay?"

– and like i said, he's lonely and unstable, so i think that he's very needy. he wants you to love him, please for the love of god just love him. he wants to hold you in his arms and he wants to be held in your arms, he wants you to tell him that you care about him and that you will be his family if nobody else in this world will be. he never says any of this to you, because as much as he wants it he's not someone that just admits his feelings, but he makes it very obvious in the way that he acts--glaring at you when you get up from bed to go do something and stopping when you're back in his arms, pointing out that you've been getting quite fond of kakucho in an annoyed tone, looking at you expectantly when he talks about family, like he wants you to say something. and you think that it's kind of cute that he desperately needs these things from you. you can't really be mad at him because he's just a broken, lonely person that just wants someone to love and care about him.

– honestly i can't see izana knowing a lot about sex, let alone having any expirience, but while he was in the process of manipulating you into being his, i think he'd definitely learn. because again, he wants to be the perfect person for you. he's soft and takes his time just thrusting at a nice, even paces that's pleasurable for both of you. and when he eats you out or blows you, it's very sloppy cause he doesn't know what he's doing, but he does know that you taste good and he can't stop until he makes you cum. i also think that he'd be a bit emotional during sex--not too emotional, but more than usual you know. it's when he tells you just how much you mean to him and that you make him feel so good all the time, but especially now when his thrusts are getting desperate, and he just wants to cum all over you cause you're so fucking pretty. yeah, he's extra needy during sex. it doesn't happen all that often, but sometimes he can get rough and aggressive during sex, mostly when he's super stressed or in a bad mood, and when that happens he gets more possessive than needy. he tells you that you're his and makes you tell him how good you're feeling and that he's the only one that can make you feel that ways--much different compared to when he's in a better mood.

"shit, shit, shit. you feel so fucking good. i'm making you feel good too, yeah? mhm, yeah, yeah i am."

– izana is the same as mikey when it comes to taking care of his darlings misebehavior. if you so much as think about disobeying him, then he's quick to correct it using any means possible. you know, the usual cutting, hitting, starving, isolating, even psychological abuse--it doesn't matter to him because as much as he loves and cares about you, he will not let you disrespect him by misbehaving ever again. i think that if you piss him off enough, he'd "let you go", but he's actually just letting you see for yourself that you need him. you have no family, no friends, no job, no money--you have absolutely nothing, because izana has always been the one to provide for you. and when you're about to be attacked by some aggressive gangsters that you just so happened to bump into and piss off (izana set them up), all you can think about is how much you want to go back to him. and once you admit that to yourself, he's won. it's kind of fucked up and manipulative, but it reminds you that you are nothing without him, and you will never be anything without him.

[giirlblood]

need more nat agere headcanons ☹️ just a lil babyyyyyyyyyyyyyy rahhhh

here ya go nonnie !! ^__^ nat is so precious i was kicking myself that i didn't add some of these to my initial post so i'm happy to get to share more of my thoughts ! ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ)

(more) little nat headcanons !

sorry there's not very many this time i'm really struggling today with dissociation && an overall foggy brain so i keep losing my train of thought... :( i hope you still enjoy !

he loves video games especially spooky scary ones ! i know it didn't exist in the '90s but rip nat scatorccio you would have loved fnaf... he loves mario kart && mains toad . ( found out the first mario kart came out in '92 && next in '96 && toad was available in both ! :D ) he's a beast at that game , he always gets first place ! he plays a lot with van && he can be a bit of a sore loser on the rare chance that they beat him . "not fair ! you're bigger than me i coulda won if i wasn't small..." or "i want a new kart this one sucks ."

nat is a pretty independent little && is fine regressing without a caregiver but they get lonely sometimes . when by himself he loves listening to records from his childhood && sometimes even sings along ! if they're with someone else they just listen , he gets shy about singing && making a lot of noise when small . he also has some special ones that he refuses to play for other people .

besides his special bear nat doesn't really have other little gear . van sometimes brings them little action figures or trading cards but he doesn't really have anything of his own . his parents threw away all his childhood toys && he's anxious about them finding out if he got new ones . they LOVE playing with the toys van brings though ! he especially loves when he gets to play with toys that are stereotypically "for boys" since he wasn't allowed to as a kid because of his agab . he especially loves toys that make sounds && dinosaur toys !

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello Steph. How are you? First of all, happy birthday again! Hope you had a fantastic day.

I hate to be that person. But can we please talk about loneliness in life and in fandoms?

I've been struggling with loneliness since I was a kid. When I firstly discovered fandom spaces, I was so excited to get new friends. When I was younger I actually formed a bond with some of them but growing up...I don't know. I feel like I'm not made for being anyone's friend. Just saying this makes me feel like the biggest of the losers but it's just how it is. I feel transparent, I feel like I have nothing to give. The few times I've tried to interact with people here I didn't even get an answer. You know, I chose not to have a love life ages ago, and platonic friends were all I was asking for. I am a bit terrified of dying alone to be honest. I got used to doing things by myself and I'm really comfortable with that. But sometimes I wish for something more, someone actually caring about me. Sigh.

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

First off, I want to validate you on your feelings; I too have been and am a very lonely person, but in my case it's more self imposed than lack of trying. My poor self esteem tends to drive people away, and in turn keeps me staying isolated in my own bubble.

That said, it's something I'm working STUPIDLY hard on in therapy, and it SUCKS but is also rewarding. My therapist tells me that my perception of reality is skewed because of past "trauma that I didn't know was trauma" which in turn lead to my poor self esteem.

One thing you need to know, Nonny, is that the loneliness you feel online has NOTHING to do with you as a person. Certainly, some choices in your life may have added to it (like with me, I chose a career over relationships), but, especially in this post-COVID world, loneliness was brought on by a long period of isolation, and social media only exacerbated it. I can tell you this from experience: people were nicer before social media. People wanted to go out and do things. People generally didn't use each other for clout and likes.

Call me a boomer or whatever, but social media and "hustle culture" has only produced a generation of selfish people. So no, it's not you imagining things... It IS generally harder nowadays to make new friends without there being some sort of cost-benefit to the other party.

THAT ALL SAID, I relate to you a lot, I really do. Therapy has helped me immensely with my overwhelming loneliness as well. I think also being an introvert who LOVES being alone on the best of days helps a lot too, but I know that my solitary lifestyle isn't for everyone.

Honestly Nonny, I don't have a good answer for you other than to be an ear for you to talk to. As I said, I generally don't have a lot of really close friends I see regularly, and that's okay by me. Join discords, comment on posts, and keep messaging people, but don't let that discourage you if you don't hear back. A lot of people need to feel a sense of trust before engaging in another conversation, and other times we're all just a bunch of shy, neurodivergent nerds who simultaneously want to talk to everyone and keep to themselves.

And if you're able to, Nonny, please do talk with a counsellor or therapist, your words worry me to my heart 💜

And for what it's worth, if I don't reply right away, it's because I actually need to be in a good headspace to answer asks like this, and not feel REALLY lazy as I have been. And you aren't alone, I promise. Many of the Lovelies and Lurkers feel the same, and we're all here just enjoying fandom.

I'm sorry I'm not much help, Nonny, and I'm sorry I kept going on a lot of tangents. I just want you to know that I am thinking about you 💜

[rmd-writes]

Hi!! I always love what you write, so I'm very excited to see whatever this secret project is! But for now I do have a question about beta reading. How did you break into it? For a long time I have thought that I would enjoy doing that for different people, and I like that kind of fine-tooth comb editing work. But I am not a writer myself, just an avid fic enjoyer, so it feels like I can't quite bring as much to the table or meet other authors in a mutual kind of way. And I would never want to imply that an author needed that extra help or anything like that by just cold reaching out to them. Sorry that so much about me haha, I'm not necessarily looking for any advice (though if you had any I would certainly take it) but I am curious about how you got into it and what your experience has been like! Thank you!!

Hi nonnie! Thanks for the ask!

Can I just say to start with, that as an avid fic enjoyer, you absolutely can meet writers and other creators in a mutual way! Everyone has a place in fandom and something to contribute. It would be a very lonely world for creators if people weren't there to enjoy what we make (and hopefully tell us what they're liking those things). Personally, I appreciate readers so much and I especially love seeing regular names pop up in my inbox 💖💖

As for how I got into beta reading, it started back when a pal in Schitt's Creek fandom was writing a fic and worried that she was going to lose motivation to write it so I offered to sit in the doc and cheer her on. Please note that my motivation for doing so was entirely selfish because it meant that I had early access to the fic that I desperately wanted her to keep writing 😅 that eventually turned into me beta reading that fic (and all of her fics after that) for her.

I started beta reading more frequently in RWRB - I'd signed up as a beta reader for an event, but around the same time I also got to know other writers via a discord server. Sometimes people would ask for beta readers and I'd volunteer - I'm still a tiny bit dirty that @three-drink-amy snagged the beta rights to bleedingballroomfloor's baseball boyfriends fic right out from under my nose even though she is far better qualified than I to beta read a baseball fic - so much so that she helped me with the baseball scenes in my rwrb lawyer au lol (please know that I love them both dearly, there is no internet beef here).

You say that you don't want to reach out to writers and imply that they need assistance, but honestly, sliding into people's DMs and letting them know that either I'm very interested in X fic that they're writing and would they like someone to beta read it or that I'm available in general to help if they want it because I love their writing is how I've ended up beta reading for almost all of the writers I do that for!! People are generally just thankful to know that someone is interested in their writing! It can be a lonely hobby sometimes and having someone to live in your docs or send snippets to can help balance the need for wanting to talk about your fics with someone or bounce ideas off someone and wanting to keep what you're working on under wraps.

God, this is getting really long, I'm so sorry. I've been rambling and I'm not even sure that I answered your question.

You asked what my experience has been like and for the most part, it's been very positive! I get early access to fics (I often say that my favourite way to read a fic is in google docs 😂), I get to cheer my friends on and sometimes they even trust me enough to let me throw ideas at them and write them into their stories - sometimes I even get to do this without actually doing any editing and that's just as fun. I love beta reading, I think there's something really special about being trusted with the draft of someone's writing and getting to help make it the best that it can be (what that involves looks different for every writer I work with). 💖

And all of that doesn't even touch on how much I learn from the writers I've worked with - it's definitely helped me improve my own writing!

[definitelynottony]

Could you do starkercest? But fem!peter? 🥺 pls?

Her there nonny. Fem!Peter isn't something I've done before, but I gave it a shot because you asked so nicely~

TW: Female Peter, incest (Daddy x daughter)

Tony thought he's been a good father. He's spoiled his baby girl rotten over the years, sure, but she's perfect. And when she gives him those big bambi eyes, like hell he'd ever say no to her. Except when it comes to boys.

"Daddy! Everyone else has a date, why can't I? There was at least three guys that already asked me to the dance!"

"Because, princess, you're not old enough to date yet." That has been Tony's excuse for the last four years. It's even getting old to his own ears.

"That's bullshit and you know it! I'm seventeen, Dad! Most of my class have been dating since they were twelve!"

"I'm sorry you're going to school with a bunch of heathens, but i'm raising my little girl with some class. You can date when I'm dead!"

"But that'll take forever!!!"

"Brat." Tony rolled his eyes at her.

"Meanie!" Parker pouted out to her Dad. Tony can't stand that.

"Come on, tesoro. Don't be like that. Daddy bought you that pretty dress you wanted, bought you all new makeup, and you're going to go get your hair done. Why do you need a boy bringing you down when you're going to be the bell of the ball?"

Parker's eyes started to shine with tears. She was good... too damn good. She knows how to play her Dad's heartstrings. Crying, without fail, always got her what she wanted. She learned that by age five. Tony never had the heart to say no.

"Parker Maria Stark. Do not cry over a boy. I taught you better than that."

"Who am I going to slow dance with, Daddy? I'll look like a loser... everyone already thinks I'm weird."

Tony pulled his little girl into a tight hug. "No one thinks that, baby. You're the prettiest girl in that whole school."

"You have to say that! You're my dad."

"I'm also a man. I know what I'm talking about."

Parker's face flushed at that comment. She turned away and pouted, trying to hide her face. Tony saw it, though. Felt it. How his little girl clenched her thighs... he's just a man. God. A lonely man with a gorgeous seventeen year old daughter. These intrusive thoughts aren't the first time they came to the old man.

Honestly, they've been happening more and more. Even more sinful after Tony saw what his little girl bought herself with her Daddy's credit card. Tony had to dig a bit. Had to threaten the company with the fact that they sold over a five hundred dollars worth of products to a minor. But it was worth it. To see all the lingerie that now sits in his little girls dresser. The dildos and vibrators she's hiding under her bed.

Yeah. There's no way he's letting his little girl with an awakening sexual appetite go off with a teen boy. Tony was a teen boy at one point. He knows how they are. What they want. The only thing they want. The joke is that thing doesn't go away with age. When he's holding his little girl like this, thinking about what she might be thinking about... okay. He should probably let go now.

"Daddy?" Parker asks in a shy voice as her Dad let go of her and stepped back.

"Yes, baby girl?"

"Why don't you want me to have a boyfriend? You know, statistically, kids with strict rules tend to do worse things when they're legal..."

"Are you threatening me, princess?" Tony's face gets serious. Eyes small in a glare, eyebrow cocked.

"All I'm saying is if I don't get to date boys my own age now, maybe I'll end up dating an older man next year when I go off to college." She shrugs.

"Excuse me? You will do no such thing. You're my child, you'll follow my rules."

"No! If I want to go date a forty year old when I turn eighteen in a few months, I will! And you can't stop me!"

Tony's never felt this possessive before. He sees red when he grabs his girl by the wrist and pulls her in against him. When he growls out, "if you're so desperate for a man to fuck you, sweetheart, let Daddy show you exactly what you're asking for."

He might not win "father of the year award," especially after this. But he made his little girl scream and pass out after her third orgasm and you know, that's enough for him.

[420technoblazeit]

hey sorry if I'm bothering you but do you have any new years tips for people who's lives just can't seem to stop getting worse?

aw man im sorry it's been a rough year for you nonny. i hope it gets better. i dont know you but i love you with all the love i can give to someone whose first interaction with me might be this ask. let me see what i can remember as someone who only fully got out of their depression funk this year

find things to do and reasons to go outside. everyone says this but as much as it's fun to go ohhhhh yeah im just a homebody haha i dont really like talking to people, going outside and touching grass really helps. even if it's just like. going to the 7-11 to get a slushee. a good goal is to make sure you go outside at least once every two or three days for an hour at a time. it can get lonely boarding yourself up in your room and a break from the humdrum of everyday life helps a lot

get a new hobby of some kind. i find that creative things really help me, that way you have projects so you can work towards an endgoal even if it's just like. knitting a blanket or finishing a drawing or something it gives you a sense of accomplishment. i think crafts are especially good for this because you're honing a skill with which you can see improvement overtime

weekly hangouts or get togethers or smth like that really helps because you have something to look forward to over the next couple of years. i found that going over to a friend's place every saturday or finding friends you can go to the club with or smth. see if you can look for fliers for an event of some kind maybe

idk if this helps. i hope it does. if you need to hear it i love you. and if you dont i love you anyway. hang in there

[tideswept]

THANK YOU. OKAY.

FIRST. Was Michala trans? or enby? or crossdressing?

SECOND. I read the 10th chapter! I promise! But Mordechai seemed so sad asdkf like did Mr. Lonely Himself care about his friends? I know the story wasn't about him or the group but I LOVED them all together.

THIRD. Why did that servant attack Jon in the darkness chapter? (WHICH BTW ONE OF MY FAVES) Rayner reacted like he didn't plan for it. Was he putting on a show?

FOURTH. I have a confession. When I read it the first time I REALLY thought it would end up jmart and that's why I read it. And then you just hit me with a baseball bat over the head and said NO YOU SHIP JONELIAS NOW. And yeah I GUESS I DO. But I was wondering... did Martin ever really have a chance? I was thinking at one point that it would end in a time-share kind of sutiation? Or would Jonah just. No. Absolutely not?

I'M SORRY. I HAVE MORE QUESTIONS. But I'll stop here. Please and thank you may you have ALL THE CANDY THIS HALLOWEEN

wb nonnie! ♥ I admit I had to look up some stuff to make sure I was remembering correctly.

(1) Michaela was cross-dressing to be able to sneak into the school (which at that time historically was males only), though arguably she could also be considered borderline enby? She didn't dislike being a woman. She just hated the discrimination and constraints she faced as one. Maybe her opinion on the matter would have been different if she'd been born in a kinder era.

(2) Mordechai absolutely did care for his friends. Er, well, mostly; the antipathy between him and Michaela was real, but in a "worthy rivals" kind of way. They respected each other's grift. Very much a case of "you're a piece of shit, but somehow you're more tolerable than other people." so... they WERE friends. But once they chose their respective sides, they wouldn't have really hesitated to kill each other, except that Jonah and Jon wouldn't have approved. More so Jon; Jonah would have understood.

But pulling it back on a macro scale, yes, Mordechai did care for the Eldritch Friend Group, and he had at least some care for the family he went on to have. But by that time he'd been changed by the Lonely, hardened, so it was already different. And while he would absolutely abhor being considered having a "sad ending" imo he totally did. A part of him was distant enough to maintain the objectivity to see what the Fears did to his friends, and even if he didn't regret his own choices, he still didn't like what happened to the other three. And the man went out of his way to warn his descendants about Jonah... but not Jon.

(3) You're correct! Rayner did not order the servant to attack Jon. He wasn't terribly upset by it, naturally, but that was 100% the Spider's doing. Jon had a collection to complete, and the Spider had it all planned out in advance.

(4) :< I am sorry? mostly! I mean welcome to the dark side if it makes you feel any better, writing Beholding's Own is exactly what turned me into a JonElias shipper. Before that I was tepid on the idea, and marginally positive about JonMartin (I hadn't listened to s4 yet.) So yeah, at the start, Martin has as good a chance as Elias, though at I wasn't even remotely thinking about endgame. My brain was focused on putting the pieces together.

I know the exact moment the fic went from "Default Jon/Martin, Elias is just there because the relationship is needed to make the plot work" and it was in chapter 2. I wrote a drabble to get a feel for dynamics in the past between Jon and Elias in the lead up to their meeting in the tunnels. (That became the scene where Jonah tells Jon that he's attending school with him.) That was the first crack in the ice.

Then P2 hit and it became apparent that Martin would not be faring well. It wasn't his fault, Jonah and Jon had too much history, and modern!Jon was too traumatized to consider a relationship with literally anyone. Even at that time I didn't have much focus/interest in who Jon would end up, because I knew that odds were high Jon would remain too traumatized by the end to be with anyone / Martin or Elias could go on the chopping block any moment.

So! Was Elias/Jon/Martin ever a possibility? Yes, actually! Not in a proper throuple kind of way, but the possibility was one I kept tucked to the side. But then I dug deeper claws into Martin as I listened to s4, and developed my own thoughts on the Rot, and I honestly could not do that to them. Not any of them.

Even if Martin's jealousy wasn't quite triggered as intensely with Elias as it was with say, literally anyone else, it still wouldn't have been good for him, and he deserved better. So did Jon. And so did Elias (even though lbh this was ALL HIS FAULT). It would have been an absolutely miserable situation.

Oops. I've definitely rambled enough. ♥ I hope I managed to answer your questions! And thank you! I hope you also get lots of goodies. :)

[matan4il]

Would I have viewed the finale differently if I didn't know it could have been the last? It still would have sucked and I would have been bummed. Outside of the Buddie of it I don't know why they couldn't let one of them stay single. Especially the pandering way they did it.

As someone who chooses not to be in a relationship, I wish they would have normalized it. I was a bit of an oopsie to older parents and the very youngest to many siblings. As a result, I have taken care of them and a lot of nieces and nephews. But I love it!! It allowed me to go to school longer and get my dream job. I get to vacation when I want. Everyone knows I will be the one to take the kids on their first trip abroad. I love my life. It's a blend of selflessness and selfishness, and there have been people like me forever. I have always seen shades of that in Eddie and Buck. I don't see the need to force either to be in a relationship or even make them seem lonely. Either way, I still wouldn't have liked it because it was done poorly, I especially didn't understand the "why Marisol." It was lazy writing and unfulfilled at best.

Also, one other small thing. I do identify with them a bit also because it's like the butterfly effect. Maybe they would be completely different people if Eddie hadn't knocked up Shannon and Bucks' parents' cared. Maybe I would be different if I was first born instead of last? And that's OK to think, but also ok to still love the life you have now..

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for the ask and sorry it's taken me a bit to reply, I wish real life wasn't as intense... but I hope you're doing good! *hug*

I agree with you so much, not wanting to be in a r/s at any cost should be normalized. I'm SO happy for you, to hear that you have a good life and that you're enjoying it to the fullest!

I believe that having a family (a romantic partner, kids) has a different meaning to each person. I'm the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors, so what family is to me was very much shaped by what they taught me. To my grandparents, the family that they built was the ultimate victory over the hatred that tried to exterminate all of us Jews. Passing along their identity, their heritage, their values, as well as the memory of those relatives who had been murdered in the Holocaust, it was all a part of this triumph. That's on top of the significance of continuity through family in Judaism in general.

So I come from a very specific background, and even I recognize that what family means to me isn't a universal thing. Which is why it's very annoying to see that TV and movies often treat the subject as if there is only one way to be happy, and that is to find a romantic partner. Many times, it's tied to having kids as well, but almost always it's about settling with a life partner. And I think it's a harmful message, this idea of "one size fits all." More than that, I believe in certain cases it's so pervasive that some people try to stick it out in bad r/s, even abusive ones, due to the idea that it's better than to be alone. When it clearly is not!

That's why Eddie breaking up with Ana simply over the fact that he wasn't happy was so important, realizing that if his happiness was elsewhere, it's okay to walk away, that was so important. Like I said in this ask reply, they can still turn the storyline with Marisol (and for that matter, Natalia) into something poignant about Eddie (and Buck's) journey. What upsets me is the thought they might have actually wanted to leave it there, in that place where Buddie seem to be dating women just for the sake of dating once more.

Hope you have a great day! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

[gingerteaonthetardis]

Abbey, did you notice how the Rose and Ten/Rose hate is getting so strong and persistent lately? It is making me feel uncomfortable, because most of it is rooted in hypocrisy and misogyny. And the same people claiming to adore Nine/Rose while blatantly roasting Rose, and calling her misogynistic slurs… I try not to let this affect me, but I relate to Rose and seeing her constantly being called a "whore", called bland, stupid, clingy and/or unlikeable, reading she was only loved by the Doctor because she’s blonde and white, that she should have died… It’s like I am being attacked myself. It feels awful. :(

Also, most of it comes from either dudebros or Martha stans, especially the ones who ship her with Ten. Like…

hey, nonny! i'm quite sick, so forgive me if this reply isn't as clear as it could be. i am trying to extend grace across the board here, but i'm also on a lot of cold meds, lmao. another disclaimer: i'm not an authority on anything at all in the world.

the long and short of it is that you're right, this is a bunch of gross, misogynistic bullshit you're seeing right now! however, it's not quite accurate to say that this is a thing happening lately.

it wears new faces, but basically since nuwho started airing, people have found reasons to hate rose. people hated that she was uneducated, that she was poor, that she was a teenager, that she had acne, that she had the audacity to grow as a character, that she dressed in a certain way, and oh, did i mention that they really really hated that she was poor and uneducated? a lot of it was thinly-veiled classism (or not veiled at all) mixed with a spattering of misogyny, straight up, and a lot of rose fans were demeaned for their love of her.

seeing these sorts of takes has always been an unfortunate fact of existing in this fandom.

however, it is also important to point out that there was (and still is, i'm sure) a lot of racism baked into this fandom, and into rtd's era in general. i have less direct experience with this, but i am aware overall of the vitriol martha was subject to as a character, how dismissive people were of her being a viable love interest for ten, and it's almost impossible not to see how she was subject to humiliations within the canon of the show that white characters simply were not. i can guess, though i cannot cite any examples myself, that some black fans and fans of color in general have been demeaned and made to feel unwelcome here.

this is, like the above, an awful fact of the fandom and its history.

these are not necessarily equivalent. but they're both realities.

SO, cut to now. you have a fandom that has undergone several cataclysmic shifts, has imploded, has turned on itself dozens of times before. there are people who care about rose and are understandably defensive of her. there are people who care about martha and are understandably defensive of her. there are people who hate them both. there are plenty of people (like myself) who love both characters, who have nuanced reads of them. you have people who maybe ship one pairing or the other but not at cost of either rose or martha. you have multishippers. maybe some of us even ship martha and rose with each other, because we're cool and sexy and love women.

but then there are shit-stirrers. there are people sending hate to real living human beings in what they perceive as defense of their faves. there are users misrepresenting themselves as fans of anything when they are, in fact, just attention-starved, brain-poisoned lonely people.

and their shit ass takes are, i'm sorry to say, an unfortunate fact of this fandom.

they are not, however, representative of the majority of ninerose fans or tenmartha fans. the people bullying uninvolved ninerose bloggers? they are not representative of the majority of tenrose fans.

they're not representative of anything but their own misery.

the fact is, there are so many ways to be a fan of this stupid space show, so many ways of engaging in fandom, and some people have just chosen to be cruel, misogynistic, racist, classist, or some combination of the former. they've chosen to be unoriginal, hateful bullies, which is sad and sometimes very hurtful, because it's a huge disservice to both the material, the people who made it, and the people who enjoy it.

but!! there is an upside, i think, which is that we can make our spaces kinder if we curate them well. it's down to us to report harassment and to block people who make tumblr toxic. it is down to us to reblog the art and stories and meta and gifs that bring us joy, or that we feel add depth and meaning to the show. and it is essential!! that we remember we are here voluntarily. if fandom isn't fun anymore, if it makes us feel bad about ourselves, it often means it's time to step back and find our footing again. to unfollow some people, follow some new people. to try to connect with the people we do like and follow in a more personal way. to find the people in our personal lives who make us feel safe and tell them what's going on.

i'm sorry for what you're feeling, nonny. you're not the only one. <3 don't be ashamed if you feel you need support from irl friends/mutuals/etc.

i don't know how long you've been a part of the fandom, but as someone who has been around for 5 years and who has friends who have been here for twice, even three times that long, just know that there are plenty of good people around if you look for them.

[takami-takami]

HI i just wanted to say that—im rlly drunk rn and that alcoholism colfort keigo fanfic means so much to me. its always been a trouble to explain *why* i drink and how i only ever did it when i was sad and no one ever really cared toncomfort le thru it but that fanfic meens sonmuchbto me. thank you for making it. my friends any family they just think im being immature but when im really just coping w it all. that damn fanfic leans so mych to me. thank you for making it and i apologize for my drunkness

-🍵 anon

Hi nonnie! Sorry I answered this a day late. I hope you've had the oppurtunity to drink some water and get a bit of food in you, today.

Yes exactly, there is almost always a why that people neglect to see, sometimes. But that doesn't mean we should give up on trying to find people who will hear when we explain, because I promise they are out there. And you deserve to have someone in this world who will hear you out and hold that pain with you. Whether that be regular friends or sober networks (I've heard good things about AA/twelve step programs. They even do zoom meetings, now!)

You're not being immature. There's pain there, and that pain deserves as much grace as anyone else's does, not to be brushed off. I'd like to hope that being open and honest about why you drink with a safe person/people to seek support at a time when you're sober is so important, and something you deserve. I hope they'll respond kindly. And if they don't, I promise promise promise someone out there will.

Much love to you, nonnie. I see that you feel unheard and that you're just trying to cope, and the comfort drabble meant a lot to you. Addiction/substance use can be a lonely place. I want to communicate that I hold a lot of love for you in my heart. I hope you are well and I hope you're able to find coping mechanisms that work for you.

I believe in you very much!

[aceofwhump]

I hope it's okay to vent a little but there really is nothing worse than losing your comfort character is there? I'm glad there are likeminded people on here who get it and it's not just me that gets so attached to fictional characters. My family don't understand and have been laughing at me and think I'm a right saddo for feeling so bereft over the loss of a fictional character.

I don't have a full time job (we can blame anxiety for that), so I spend a lot of time alone at home. I go through depressive bouts where the feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness and the repetition of if all really gets to me and something as simple as having a show to look forward to every week, theorizing about upcoming episodes, brings me joy and  gets me through the week. It keeps me going and breaks up all those lonely hours. I'm not always lucky to find a new fixation so easily to fill the gap, so feel quite empty rn urghhh it sucks

Vent away! Losing a comfort character is really difficult I totally agree with you nonny. I'm sorry your family is laughing at you for being so attached to character that their death is affecting you. That's not cool of them at all. I've cried over characters so many times. When the 10th Doctor regenerated I was a freaking mess and had to properly mourn him before I could start 11's era. I still can't rewatch the BBC Merlin finale because Arthur's death hurts too much. You're definitely not alone here.