#sorry used this as a way to ramble about titles lol

[usagifuyusummer]

Hello, sorry it took me so long (6 days), but here's your request @candyglumboy. I was experimenting a lot on these honestly.

From first to last in order, First memories/ Mortality/ Ascension (or an imitation of heaven?). I'm still unsure if these are the appropriate titles for these pieces lol.

Thanks for requesting me by the way! It was fun practice admittedly. (I still suck ass at backgrounds though.)

As usual, my insane ramblings below and some close-ups and concept art (will change if formatting is fucked up).

Oh yeah, I've been offline a lot because I'm so busy with uni stuff and... unavoidable family matters..., plus all of these took me a while to finish. I was brainstorming a lot on their request and these are the ones I've chosen to finalize.

I've decided to go with the concept of life, death, and rebirth on their request to just see Peri hugging Timmy lmao, because why not? It was to make me fulfil this request in a more enjoyable and exciting way.

I was experimenting and practicing a lot on understanding the Fairly Oddparents style in these pieces. My attempts are still far from perfect obviously, I mean the second one (Mortality) took the longest for me to finish just because I couldn't translate 3D poses into the 2D artstyle very well lol. (The second one was the hardest to make it look... well alright/pretty to me. It looks like a mess of haphazardous colors... I am terrible at coloring. I think I'll share the other scrapped poses later.)

Honestly, I struggled and got frustrated a lot with finishing these but still enjoyed the process. Here I'll list my inspirations for each pieces;

First memories - xblubotx (i won't tag them because i don't want to disturb): Their small Peri/Poof and teen Timmy fanart pieces continues to inspire me to this day. And yes!!! I see that they have made More Timmy fanart!!! Thank you xblubotx. I will continue to appreciate those in silence.

Mortality - I was thinking of loss and death a lot on this one. I thought what kind of embrace that shows this feeling? So, I used the famous, Ivan the terrible and his son painting, for the pose. I wanted to challenge myself if I could translate the 3D pose into 2D, so yeah, that's the final result... It looks like a mess of vomited red colors... I am sorry if you're squeamish towards blood by the way. I wanted to see if I could also attempt to draw blood streaming. I still think I have a long ways to go in terms of skill... For now, enjoy the nuclear baby about to explode because of overwhelming feelings <3 <3 <3!

Ascension (or an imitation of heaven) - @bevony: I hope I did not miscredit you, as I used your Fairy Timmy design for this one! I changed it a little according to my preferences/headcannon though. Still, I love their Fairy Timmy design! I like the hot pink Channel boots that they gave Timmy lol. (And the very comfortable formal fashion.) Keep on slaying~ My Fairy Timmy design will probably be heavily influenced from them when I get to that eventually... Tell me if you don't want me to, I'll back off. For now, I'll be enjoying the others fanarts of Timmy quietly.

(Additionally, my phone is slowly dying from all of these creative projects that I'm doing currently lol. Agh, I wish I had a drawing tablet or a better device to satisfy these creative urges....)

Again, thank you for the request! I'm okay with requests as I'm still not confident with my creative skills at this moment lol. So, admittedly I view these as a challenge or for practice. I can't fulfil them quickly though, as I have multiple responsibilities to do in real life. Still, I don't mind them once in a while.

I hope you like what I've done here. Sorry if it doesn't fulfil your vision candyglumboy. I'll keep on practicing my creative skills.

So yeah, I think that's all I wanted to share in the post this time. I'm still at season 3 on the FOP rewatch by the way. I am very excited to get to the specials eventually. Yeehaw!!!

Here's some concepts and close-ups of the pieces below this long massive yapping session lmao. Thank you for reading. Have a nice day <3

[agaypanic]

Hello! I'd love to request Charlie Swan with a teacher girlfriend. Perhaps he comes to visit on his lunch or something and sees how attached the kids are to her and it makes him happy to see how caring she is. Please and thank you!(I work with pre k but my former class was todds and they are still clingy 💖💖)

Lunch Break (Charlie Swan X Teacher!Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: Chief Swan visits his girlfriend on his lunch break, and can’t help but adore the way she is with her students.

A/N: i know nothing about taking care of or teaching little kids lol

***

Charlie wasn’t used to being around a toddler, let alone twenty of them. Even when his daughter Bella was at that age, he didn’t see her much. 

Yet here he was, sitting in his girlfriend’s classroom, having lunch with her while a group of toddlers napped on the floor.

“So, how’s your day been?” You asked in a whisper, picking at the burger and fries that Charlie had brought you from the Carver Cafe.

“Oh, not much.” He responded in an equally low voice, but more gruff. His fingers smoothed over his mustache before speaking again. “Still looking into those missing persons cases, but we’ve been coming up with nothing.”

“You’ll find something, bear.” You squeezed his shoulder, and he leaned into your touch. “You always do.”

“Yeah, maybe… But enough about me, how’s your day?”

You let out a tiny laugh, not surprised that Charlie would bounce the attention onto you as soon as he could.

“Well, today we had an art day.” You gestured to one of your tables on the opposite side of the room, covered in different drying papers. “Watercolor, crayon, markers, that kind of thing. That was really fun. I know I shouldn’t play favorites, but I really like Delilah’s. You know her mom, right? Samantha?” Charlie nodded after a quick moment of thought, and so you continued. “Well, she wanted to make a meadow, so she covered her paper in green, and then she stamped little fingerprints all over as flowers. I mean, you kinda have to ask her what it is to figure out what it is, but I don’t know, it was really cute and- oh my god, I’m rambling, huh?” You covered your mouth to stop more word vomit from spilling, a little giggle slipping past your fingers.

Charlie pulled your hand away, laying a kiss on your knuckles. He nudged your knee with his own, a coy smile on his lips.

“No, I like hearing you talk.” Your cheeks reddened, and you scrunched your nose at him. He squeezed your hand. “Come on, keep going. What happened after painting?”

“Read the kids a story.” You answered, trying to remember the title. “They really like that Llama Llama book. But some of the kids really wanted ‘Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!’ so I told them I’d read that after nap time. Then they all had food, fell asleep, and then you came with lunch.” You ate a fry before stealing a sip of Charlie’s coffee. You liked how he didn’t mind, instead watching you with a fond expression. “Which is delicious, by the way, thank you.”

“No problem, sweetheart.”

“Ms. Y/n?” A tiny voice sounded from one of the sleeping mats. You gave Charlie’s hand a quick squeeze before letting go and standing up from your chair.

“Jayden?” You asked quietly, even though you knew it was him from his voice. “Are you okay?”

“Bad dream.” The little boy answered, rolling off his cot and looking at you with bleary eyes and a frown.

“Aw, I’m sorry, honey.” You said softly, crouching down close to him. “Do you want a hug?”

He nodded a few times, carefully walking through his sleeping classmates to reach you. He latched his arms around your neck, and you patted his back, waiting until he felt better.

Charlie saw the interaction from the corner of his eye, not wanting little Jayden to feel watched. He couldn’t help but smile at how quickly you were able to comfort him. It was clear that you were made for this kind of work, being so caring and nurturing without even thinking about it.

“Feeling better?” You asked Jayden as he let go of you, and he nodded. You smiled at him. “I’m glad. Now, you have a couple more minutes before we gotta start waking up. Do you wanna lay back down?” Jayden nodded again, and with a little wave of his hand, he tiptoed back over to his mat. 

When he was settled, you stood up from your crouched position and went back to Charlie, who was looking at you with a twinkle in his eye.

“What?” You asked, finishing off the rest of your food.

“Nothing.” He said, shaking his head a bit. Charlie looked at his watch and sighed, realizing his break was almost over. “I should probably leave. The boys’ll need me back at the station soon.”

“Okay.” You said with a slight pout, wishing you had more time with him. The two of you cleaned up, Charlie insisting that he could throw the trash away on his way out. “I’ll see you later, bear.”

“See you soon, sweetheart.” Charlie kissed your cheek and went to the door, giving you a wave before exiting the room.

[drop-dead-dropout]

OKAY KDJEHDHDNDZHXHX I'M DONE WITH THAT FIC NOW HERE IT IS LOL

it's like 1.5k words (look I'm trying to write longer fics but there's only so much you can write when it's just One Guy Talking okay 💔)

I just made up a fake birthday for kim, I don't think he has a canon one? lmk if I'm wrong. also I am so so sorry for the random references to a le retour fic in my drafts which is probably never going to get finished... maybe one day lmao

April 19, '78

"I made it, Harry," you half-whisper reverently. Talking any louder is hard these days, decades of smoking finally catching up to you— and besides, you know he can hear you anyways.

(He can always hear you.)

"You never said, but I don't think you believed I would. Honestly, I don't blame you. I didn't either. It was a fantasy, a story I could tell myself when I was afraid. When I wanted to imagine that everything could turn out alright. But I made it. Seventy years old in a free Revachol— well, a mostly-free Revachol, in any case. And still on two feet, no less!" You set your cane on the ground and sit down on the grass, feeling a sigh rattle in your chest. "Jean says hello. Don't worry, he'll come back to see you next week, but... It just hit him. That this summer, he'll be the same age as you were. I think he needs a moment." Stretching your arms over your head, a slight groan escapes you, your aged limbs protesting the strain. "They had him and I give a talk at some local high school. Did I tell you that? Oh, you'd laugh and laugh if you met those kids. They had so many questions, and almost all of them were very silly."

Time passes. It tends to do that. A gentle spring breeze rustles the branches of the trees above you, and you inhale, a wave of calm overtaking you. You come here as often as you can, rambling for far too long about any old thing that pops into your head. You like to think he'd appreciate it, and... It's the only place you feel at home these days.

(You wonder if this is what palesickness feels like. A bone-deep ache that you can't quite bring yourself to hate. A fond smile on your lips even as grief and yearning gnaw through your ankles like twin dogs, starving and desperate. A tender feeling in your chest as you return to your memories again and again, the green of his eyes catching the light, his arms around you, the way he said your name.)

(You don't dwell on it.)

"And yes, they did ask about you." Your voice is lilting, smug, because you know he would've asked. "The three of us are something of a legend around here, you know, especially you. Apparently evacuating a whole city, through a section of underground tunneling that no one was even sure still existed is, ah, mildly impressive. Though most of the kids were more interested in seeing if the rumors were true— about the amnesia, and the voices especially. I wanted to be honest, and Jean seemed more than happy to reminisce. But the teachers were shooting us dirty looks for telling their young and impressionable pupils about such fantastical things, so we had to keep it vague."

As you take off your glasses for a moment to wipe away a few stubborn smudges on the lenses, you blink a few times, disoriented at your sudden loss of vision. "Speaking of our reputations, did you know they have a saying these days? Le rêveur, l'aviateur, le commandant. You, me, and Jean's old titles. It basically means 'to envision what must be done, to carry yourself to your goal, and to have the strength to see it through'. I heard someone say it the other day and I turned towards them, as if they were calling my name..." You chuckle, shaking your head. "... I suppose it still shocks me sometimes, how much we accomplished. How much we mattered."

Tilting your head up, you try to make out shapes in the clouds, the way he always used to. It's a fruitless endeavor— your distance vision may be relatively intact, but you never had his imagination. But that's alright. Even if the sky is just a meaningless swirl of colors, it's still beautiful to you. "Anyways, I'm getting off-topic. I meant to tell you, at one point they asked about us. What I was to you. How I knew so much. Why we were always so close." A light puff of amusement escapes you, despite yourself. "I swear Jean was almost purple, the way he held in his laughter. Mister Kitsuragi, my sister says you were secretly brothers, but Jessica's mum told me his eyes were green, and your eyes aren't green. Were you adopted? Kids say the funniest things. If this were a decade ago, if I was still RCM, I would've just lied. Though perhaps not with such an improbable explanation. It's just..."

Your left hand drifts up, out of habit, to the twine around your neck.

But you don't wear the ring on your neck anymore, do you? You wear it on your finger, where it should be. Because you can.

"When Toussaint, the lazy old fool, finally got around to marriage equality back in '71, I personally requested that same week for the judiciary to make it official for us. I doubt they would've bothered for anyone else. It's posthumous, after all... Not useful for much other than sentiment, and a bit of an odd request either way. But, like I said before, our names carry a lot of weight." A wistful smile tugs at your lips. "So, when that child asked me that ridiculous question, up on that stage in front of a crowd of nearly two thousand, I showed them my ring and I called myself your husband for the first time. And no, it doesn't count that we were already saying it to each other," you quip. "It went over well. I wasn't worried, of course. It's '78; two men being in love is hardly a matter of life or death these days. But... It made me miss you. Not in the quiet way I always do, but in a way that hurts like it hasn't hurt in years." You swallow, more embarrassed by the naked longing in your voice than the admission itself. "So I've brought you something. Isn't that funny? Giving you a gift on my birthday. You'll have a lot to make up for when I see you again." The chiding words are undercut by the grin you can't quite hide as you dig through your messenger bag.

When you find what you're looking for— a weathered Mnemotechnique A6, torn in a few places, practically ancient— you place it on the ground in front of him, opening the cover to admire the flower pressed into its first page. "I can't believe I managed to hold on to this old thing. It's from when we first met, in Martinaise. Jean had the idea to press a flower in, so I picked a may bell. I thought you'd like it— you always used to like them, and I suppose they've grown on me, too."

Closing the notebook, you slide it closer to him, warmth blooming in your lungs like the first drag of a cigarette on a cold night. "So, let me promise you something, as if we were young fools in love, rather than the relics of the past we are." You reach out and rest your hand on the headstone, tender, like you're cupping his cheek. "I'll find you again, Harrier. I promise I will return to your side."

Bracing yourself, you attempt to stand up, but a jolt of pain sparking up your unsteady legs forces you grit your teeth and rest your achy bones for a moment.

(You try not to be secretly grateful for the excuse to stay just a bit longer. You fail.)

With a breath of laughter, you add under your breath, "Sooner rather than later, I think. But, it's as they say: après la vie, la mort..."

You lean forward and press your lips against cold, porous rock.

Somehow, for a brief moment, you could almost convince yourself that you were kissing him on the forehead— bidding him farewell, or perhaps goodnight. You like the second option better.

(You hope the morning comes soon.)

"... Après la mort, toi," you say, altering the line. It feels right. There is nothing after the pale, and you can't possibly know what's after death, but you know one thing: you will see him again. Pulling back, you stare for a moment at the words on his grave— you can't read it this close, but you already know exactly what it says, tracing your fingers over the indented lettering.

HARRIER DU BOIS

AGED 61 ('07-'68)

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN

Finally, you manage to retrieve your cane and bag and get to your feet. After a few steps, you stop, turning back around to add, "I love you, Harry," because you've just realized that you haven't said it yet. You almost want to apologize for forgetting.

It's just that it feels unnecessary. Redundant. Everything you do is loving him. You've sat here with him and rambled for nearly an hour, and you've said so many different words, and yet somehow, at the same time, all of them were the same.

A million different ways to say I love you.

Not for the first time, you find yourself huffing with amusement— Jean is right, you really have become more like him, if your this is where your train of thought is leading you. A disorganized and poetic mess. You nearly open your mouth to voice this observation to him, but... You stop yourself. You don't need to. He heard you.

(He can always hear you.)

[waywardstation]

Hey there!

What did you think about the Pokémon Presents?

Are you hyped for Z-A?

I know Arceus will still be number 1 (at least to me) but I’m looking forward!

I’m also so happy for AZ!!

He looks so much better and he has his Floette around. (Hope we’re getting a Floette or even the whole evolution line to be catchable!)

So and since it’s gonna be future-esque I’m wondering if someone gets eebied and/or who else we will meet as themse or their descendants!!

IM SO SORRY IM SO LATE TO THIS BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME FOR MY THOUGHTS!! ^^

LONG LONG RAMBLE INCOMING!!

Gonna be honest what I saw of Z-A disappointed me a little haha. I’m still excited for it but it hit me the same way SV did. I’ll play it but I don’t feel the same excitement for it as I did PLA.

And yes, as of now Ingo and Akari play a very big part in my interest with PLA, but back when we got our very first trailer for PLA showing the gameplay, I knew nothing about the story but just seeing we were going to be out in the wilderness in a noticeably different time period made me SO EXCITED.

I’d assumed PLZA would also be in the past since the series is titled Legends, but I was wrong haha. And that was a massive disappointment for me. My fault for expecting it, I should know not to do that for pokemon games lol, but that was a huge draw for me to PLA — to be in a different time period to see how people bonded with pokemon back then. I didn’t even KNOW I wanted something like that until I saw PLA’s first trailer. So to get another game that while yes, it’s in the future, from what we’ve seen so far it’s virtually indistinguishable from the technology, society, and lifestyle we see in every other mainline game, it feels… not boring to me exactly, but certainly not exciting lol.

BUT I am VERY excited to see how real-time battles go. Another huge plus from me was how PLA changed the traditional battle system a little bit, and I feel like I may end up liking this battle system even more with its more drastic changes. I’m just a little nervous how dependent these battles will be on reaction times as my neck injury is still messing with the use of my hands and I cannot play games like this without hurting them. But I’m probably imagining worst case scenarios (this is still a kid’s franchise after all) and I’m hoping my neck will be fixed by then so that I can enjoy it.

AND AS FOR AZ. I AM SO HAPPY FOR THAT MAN. As far as I know, we’ve never had media that shows how AZ as Floette are doing together after they’ve reunited. I’m so happy we get to see this now, and that AZ is a happier man, and that Floette is back and can see how much he’s changed for her. I love them very much and it was cathartic to see how things got better as time went on.

I wouldn’t say I’m exactly expecting it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if eternal flower Floette get’s have an entire line for it that is not unique and can now be catchable; I have seen people point out how new entries now refer to this variant as ‘Eternal Flower Floette’ instead of ‘AZ’s Floette’ now. So we’ll see! I’m very excited to see this game’s new Pokemon forms in general.

Honestly I do not think we’re going to see someone else get thrown through space-time (and I’d rather not it’s very sad lol) but you never know, seeing as we got to see Looker’s/Emma’s office in the trailer. I AM however very excited to see if we do end up getting more descendants like what SV’s indigo disk did. I always think it’s fun to see that!

Overall, I am looking forward to PLZA. I want to see more content from it before I decide how I feel about it, and then I need to play to see if those feelings are unfounded. I already know it will most likely not hit me the same way PLA did but that is ok.

Thanks for asking for my thoughts anon, I always appreciate when someone wants to hear them ;w; <3

[burn-before-reading]

Love in the Time of Socialism

joost klein x artist!reader

art, mush, and ramblings about life

warnings: depression (ish), burnout, reader character in some vague mental health funk

word count: 2k

a/n: slight prequel to blue is the colour of your eyes but can be read as stand alone. just same artist reader. vaguely romantic but just ramblings and getting feelings out haha. started this when I was in more of a bad mental state (lol) but im fine now so it got kinda tame by the end of it. still not proofreading anything

title from the song Love in the Time of Socialism by Yellow House

Rpf below the cut—

Normally Joost has to call you because its the only way you will actually look at your phone. Its more often that not you find yourself fixated on planning out your next project, and your friends have to force you back into reality. There was that one time no one had heard from you in over a week and thought you were dead, when you were just working. You hadn’t realized how many texts you missed and apologized for scaring your friends half to death. Especially Joost.

So now you leave your ringer on, and now they call.

Tonight, however, Joost calls and you aren’t in your studio. You are in your bed, where you have been for the entire day. and also most of yesterday. There isn’t a reason in your head specifically why this has happened. you MEANT to get up. Theres a list of chores and things to do just sitting on your desk, but you woke up late, so now nothing will get done. At some point it just became too stressful to even get up and look at it. You roll over and stare at the contact picture of him, smiling with some dumb fish eye lens he thought was funny. You debate not picking up at all.

But you can’t ignore him.

“Hi Joost.” your voice came through the phone more hoarse than intended when you answered, you don’t remember the last time you talked to someone. “Whats going on?”

“the others wanted to go out for drinks tonight, you hadn’t responded so I wanted to check you were joining us.” You could imagine him rocking back and forth on his heels in the middle of his living room while he talked, it was either that or pacing around.

“uhh..” Drinks at a bar was the last thing on your mind. In any other situation you would have loved to be around your friends, but right now you just needed to avoided as much as possible. “Not a good night, tonight. Sorry, I’ll have to join you guys next time.”

Joost felt like something was off, you sounded tired. “Is everything okay?”

“I’ll be fine I just… shit brain day. bad brain thats all. It happens.” You did your best to summarize how you felt without actually admitting anything, you weren’t sure how to explain anything anyway.

“ Oh Im sorry, would it be good, if I came over? I can keep you company, if thats okay?”

“you don’t have to, I’ll be fine tomorrow. I want you to have fun. ” you insisted, but he pressed on.

“I don’t mind, the group would understand. Have you eaten today?”

“Like… a meal? yes, or well, no. I had a soda..” You glance at the half drunk soda from the night before, now flat. “and uhhh..”

“I’ll pick something up.” You could hear him on the other end gathering things together, keys, wallet, probably his ipad.

“.. thank you. I’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”

-

Joost knocked on your door about an hour later. In that time you were able to get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom to change and make yourself somewhat presentable in front of a guest, and to the kitchen to make coffee despite it being 8pm.

You opened it to see Joost with a sheepish smile as he extends his arms out for a hug. “Hi.”

“Hi Joost.” you take the step to hug him, feeling his body heat contrast with the cold nighttime. “I’m glad you’re here.” the two of you head inside to your living room where he empties his bag of take out to reveal a couple different thai dishes and egg rolls. It was hard to not admit you weren’t at least a little bit hungry.

The two of you ate in mostly silence, making small talk about different projects you two have going on, or the fact that the two of you were in between projects. He done with touring for the time being and in the process of working on a new album. You loosely avoiding talking about any current work plans but mentioned one or two paintings you finished for a private gallery commission last month.

“ Just some paintings of animals and nature-ish symbolism. Honestly my heart wasn’t really in that one, but it payed the rent so.” you shrug and shove noodles into your mouth.

“Well now you have the time to work on your own stuff, right?” he commented, leaning back into your couch and looking down at you sitting on the floor instead of any of your own furniture. “Draw whatever your heart desires.”

“I mean I guess.. Im just glad to be done with the oil paints for now. I swear i think I was gonna die in my studio from all the chemicals. I dunno, I finished that whole project last month, I haven’t really been very productive since then.” you trail off and Joost gets a concerned expression on his face.

He sinks down from his spot of the couch to join you in the floor. The fluffy rug brushing against his legs as he adjusts his new sitting position.

“Its okay to take a break, you know.”

“I know I know, I just get frustrated. I never seem to have my energy directed towards the right thing. Whenever I have all those big projects from other contractors, I can brainstorm and think of all these interesting ideas I wanna work on, but I can’t because then I would get behind on the art Im being paid to do.”

“mhm.” he nods, to indicate he’s following along.

“ And then whenever Im done with those projects, I just get… tired. and my focus is gone. and Everything just feels…” you gesture the last bit with your hands, scrambling your fingers, to imply your thoughts. You aren’t looking at him, but you can still see him nodding in your peripherals. Joost always seemed to understand your thinking and explanations to things, even if you thought they were messy.

“Do you want to try painting right now?” he asks. you just shrug your shoulders.

“I don’t know what I would paint.”

“You can paint our dinner, or, or yourself, or your plants maybe?” he suggested and stands up. “Can I paint too?”

“Oh we’re actually doing this?” Not that you didn’t want to, but this self doubt had creeped into your mind again. That failing to produce something decent would prove that you’ve lost all your talent, your skill.

“yea we can have a little painting party!” he chimed, but he hesitated walking over to your studio to grab stuff, still giving you the space to reject his idea.

you looked away and started nervously tapping your fork against the table.

tap tap tap tap

“…sure. We can use my watercolors, Ive been wanting to use them more often anyway.”

the coffee table became a little more cluttered as you set up the paints for the two of you. Joost using an old set 24 pans and you using a newer set of watercolor tubes you were gifted last year and never opened. You watched as Joost immediately dipped his brush in water and started activating the blue paints, spreading it onto his paper in big random strokes.

“what are you painting?”

“not sure yet, maybe im painting you.” he looks up and smirks. you scrunch your nose up.

“why are you using so much blue. am I a smurf?” you joke and he just shrugs and points to your own paper.

“Just mess around, can’t be any worse than what im doing.”

tap tap tap tap tap tap

you fidget with your own brush for a few seconds lo get before grabbing a big mop brush and wetting your paper with clean water. Taking your smaller brush again, you pour out a small amount of yellow and mix it up with some more water. You hesitate for a moment longer before letting the brush lightly touch the surface, creating a burst of colour on the paper as the colour seeps onto the page. You make a few more random marks before switching to another warm colour and repeating the process, now watching the colours bleeds and mix into each other. You look at Joost paper and see that he is actually now trying to paint you, the blue fortunately was able to be mostly contained to the background.

“Do you ever think about what you would do if you weren’t a musician?” you ask.

“I dunno I think after this I could have a pretty successful art career.” he teases but sees in your face the question is more serious. “I don’t know. I started off with youtube, but if I wasn’t doing that… its hard to think about what my life would be like if I didn’t follow this path.”

“I always have this feeling deep down, that I made a wrong choice somewhere along the line. I was thinking about going to school for psychology, I also wanted to work with animals at one point, be a vet. I enjoy art, don’t get me wrong, but I just worry that in making it my job Ive just drained all the passion I had for it.”

You let the paper dry before staining the page with lines of dark burgundy, creating hands and a human heart. he hums as he listens, not adding anything, but simply letting you vent. beginning to piece together your mood from earlier. “I don’t have any jobs lined up right now, which is what Ive been waiting for, to work on my own stuff, yknow? I haven’t had the time ive wanted to make something for myself for a while. But now I just feel, I feel like ive been frozen.”

“things seem to be okay right now. I like what youve made. ” you look down and see the scribbles youve made with your paint. hands clasped over a broken heart. you shrug and smile softly, signing the bottom.

“Just a scribble, you can have it if you want.” You hand the paper over to him. “thank you for coming by, its… its nice being around you. Helps a bit.”

Joost takes the paper and studies it for a second. “I really like it, maybe I should come by more often.”

“If you bring the food we can have art nights whenever you want.” he holds up his paper. The blue bleeding into your skintone and hair since he didn’t wait for anything to properly dry. “I might stick to my ipad though, I don’t know why you like this paint.” he scrunches his nose at it. you laugh and it makes him smile.

You notice for the first time how bright his eyes look when he smiles, but you brush the thought away.

-

“Feeling a bit better?” he asks as he lingers by the door on his way out.

“a bit. like I said It was just a mood, I was gonna be fine tomorrow most likely… I still appreciate you coming over.”

“Don’t ever be afraid to call or text okay? Im always here to talk if you need. or just to listen.”

“definitely. Ive been meaning to uh, talk to someone about all this stuff anyway, you’re not a professional but ill keep it in mind.”

he grins and goes in for one last hug. you feel him slightly squeeze you and linger a little longer than usual before letting go. With one last glance he waves and head off. You see him pull out a cigarette for the walk back. It takes you a second to close the door. standing there watching him walk off until he turns a corner and disappears. Closing the door you sigh and go the clean up your living room.

You notice he left the portrait he drew of you. signed at the bottom with a smiley face next to his name.

It gets hung up in your studio above your desk.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

I’ll start with some news.

I am currently locked out of my twitter account. We did everything we could to try to get it back, but no matter what happens, it will most likely take some time.

I don’t like bringing attention to this kind of stuff because we have tons of other things to talk about which are more important than some toddlers trying to obliterate us for 1000th time (frankly I would rather talk about the colour of Leona’s butthole), but this time it’s kind of serious and important. We don’t know what’s going to happen next, but for now I wanted to say that if we won’t get the account back in time or will lose it indefinitely, we will have to ask for your help. I am sorry for that in advance.

Also, if you were discussing/working on commissions with me via DMs there, please email me or contact me via any other platform as soon as possible. Just in case.

Mass-reporting is wild, eh?

I am rambling a bit, and I didn’t really want to complain, because I know for a fact it would give satisfaction to some people, but you know? I am going to complain: it sucks ass. It happened at the worst time possible and it happened over nothing (literally, the art that got it was a Todd/Wallace non-sexual piece that got too many likes for children’s liking). I don’t care if people don’t like us, I don’t care if they gossip with their girlies about us, all I want is for them to leave us the fuck alone and let us do our thing in peace. Imagine being so unbelievably boring and so incredibly unlikeable and unable to make meaningful connections not only with other people but also with any kind of media that you just have to go out of your way to ruin things for others because this is the only thing that makes your immature brain produce something that even remotely resembles joy. Because your own pathetic self is so deeply insecure and constantly frustrated at yourself that you just have to create an illusion of control over someone else to feel important. I can’t even call it a troll behavior – at least trolls are funny sometimes. This is just someone who hit a midlife crisis at the age of 16 and made it my problem for some reason.  

And yet, it’s okay. Even if we end up losing our account, it’ll be a huge disappointment and it will hurt us tremendously, it already did. And it’s scary to think about this scenario, and it’s difficult to talk about how, if it happens, that it’s going to be okay. But eventually we’ll get over it and build ourselves up again, just like we did before several times. And these clowns will still be boring, unlikeable, lonely and very likely shit at drawing.

So yeah. Take care of yourself and block everyone who seems suspicious on sight. It’s not a panacea, but certainly is helpful.

Alright, time to talk about Leona’s butthole (not really, but we will talk about SebeMal, and it’s even better) 💪

Anonymous asked:

Seeing Vanitas made me curious about something: did you ever read Pandora Hearts? I think for a lot of people that series went hand in hand with Black Butler as the main "victorian aesthetic mangas" from the late '00/early '10. Gothic lolitas really had it all back then..

Ohh you’re so right Anon, it was the ultimate late ‘00/early ’10 aesthetic! Boys in vests with bows/ties, crosses and rosaries and traumatic and problematic backstories lol I really miss it sometimes. What an era.

I personally haven’t read/watched Pandora Hearts, but Katsu did! But it was even before we met… So my only association with this title is that Katsu’s old username was “ozbezariusnya” 🥰 Oh, and that Gilbert (?) looks very cute, but let’s be honest, of course I would think he is cute.

nebula-ryuu asked:

Regarding my question, I mean if the Malleus and Sebek ship has a dynamic or a context 😅😅 a background or a story. I have a certain feeling about what it is like but I don't want to affirm anything hehe

I don't know if I made what I said better understood, in any case I can explain it again, no problem 🙏

Oh! Thank you for clarifying!

As for our background for shipping them, we just really really love loyal characters that are a bit unhinged about their loyalty and love/obsession. So we didn’t even have a choice, they stole our hearts… and Malleus is very interesting in his interactions with Sebek too; he is annoyed by him sometimes, but he tolerates a lot and teases him.

As for the ship itself, we tend to think that in addition to Sebek being loyal and obsessive with Malleus, he is also deeply in love with him ever since he was a child. He is conflicted because he really wants to be his lover, but also thinks that he isn’t worthy. Malleus is amused by Sebek and allows him to do much more than he probably should. Actually, I think I talked about their dynamic in this post!

I hope I understood you correctly. Thank you for your question! And if you have any more questions, please let me know.

Anonymous asked:

would Lilia and Azul ever fight over who gets to have Idia?

Replied here! Thank you for your question, Anon.

[tanukitsuneko-suki]

build episode 36 thoughts:

- i thought the episode is titled “evolt hunts parents” and for a second i’m like yea he seems like the kind of guy to commit fratricide for fun. it’s his hobby

- yeah, damn straight!!!!!! it won't work for you ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🍅🍅🍅

- it's really moe when he looks pissed....evolt bring him back his wife already....ugly mf..

- when i said i wanted more of banjo and misora moments i didn't mean it like this... (both of them are possessed by aliens)

- i miss my wife you guys. banjo...come back....

- SHINDA HENSUU DE KURIKAESU KAZOE KOTO GA HARANDA NETSU (ramble// when i drew that sento fanart inspired by netsu ijou it really just happened to be on my playlist and i thought it would be fun to combine it with sento...apparently the song is about the last person on a planet as a black hole eats it away.. oh serendipity)

- "ah mb we got a lolicon in the team" ahh face

- oh god banjo ily lol. he's so cute i wanna put him in a jar (someone who folds quickly because of her oshi) (even if her oshi is possessed) (and in a suit) (banjo my wife)

- kazumin and gentokun bonding!

- kazumin recruitment era....kazumin... he's unexpectedly a really good character, isn't he? he's really noble... when he didn't give up the pandora's box despite threats to his closest friends/those he considers family... recruiting the murderer of someone very important to him because he knows they need all the power in their arsenal against evolt.. it's very refreshing!

- this goddamn scene

- WHY IS BANJO'S NAME ON YOU GUYS' MOUTHS. AGAIN. LMFAOOOOOOO I'M SO SERIOUS I WASN'T EXPECTING MISORA TO NAME DROP BANJO AS THE REASON HEKP

- I MEAN MAYBE HE'S JUST PREPARED TO DIE TO SAVE PLANET EARTH GODDAMN?????

- nevermind misora's just throwing guesses it fucking sent me though

- i'm so fucking sorry it's just his suicidal self-sacrificial streak talking i'm sorry for making it about ryusen again

- BANJO ENOUGH CHILLING IN THE HEADSPACE GO BACK HOME YOUR WIFE IS GONNA DIE

- his weak voice...oh god my...my meow meow...you don't have to do this.. STOOOOP FIIGHTIIIIIIING

- i'm in goddamn shambles ENOUUUUGHHHHHHHHH.. i miss banjo so much i can't take it anymore

- on a fucking android???? you can't even get an ipad for this my guy??

- he's such a goddamn hater lmao okay i got a bone to pick with evolt and of course i don't like him while watching the show because he's the antagonist but i can begrudgingly respect him because he's a damn good villain lmao. also that snort. i love you akaso

- i kinda forgot this is all happening in japan only and it's so funny like wdym nobody from china is knocking asking 'heyy uhh guys what do got there (referring to the big ass lights that beam to the sky every 18 hours)'

- yes well you're only fraternizing with greedy capitalists and i don't really think the opinions of the 1% is representative of the general attitude of humanity...i can assure you the normal guy on the street is only debating about whether they'll buy onigiri or tonkatsu on the way home from work..... evolt your sample is biased. never become a scientist

- atleast they can be together forever (used as evolt as fodder for war and violence)

- i just said "YOU CANNOT BE FUCKING SHITTING ME" out loud

- ... the best heroine of kamen rider

- suicide mission to save wife....... somebody help my wives are racing to sacrifice themselves for each other..

- ...

- uh, anyway! we are so back <3

- little white rabbit on the moon..

- YOU'RE SHITTING ME

- ENOUHDGSFSDHAFDSAFBDSHFGHDSAGFHKSADGFHSDAFGHSDAKFFDHFSDAHFKJASDLF IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD IM DROPPING BUILD

- THE FUCKING WORST

[doll3tt33]

Unnecessarily lengthy ramble abt losing interest and moving on with a new acc + last few bot/fic ideas I might post (feel free to ignore idkidk)

I’ve been having a hectic week regarding academic stuff so I have the worst brain fog rn, and I have a feeling I should unwind a couple more days before writing this but I honestly don’t care atp 😭😭

Basically, as you can see with the title, I’m losing interest in AHS, evan peters, his characters - all that. Besides Colin Zabel (he’s still my husband fr), creating content for everything else feels like a real chore now, whilst back then it was truly enjoyable and exciting.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing and making bots, like this stuff is basically for life lol. But nowadays, it feels like I’m simply utilizing the evans as tools to write out the tropes I enjoy, rather than actually experiencing a desire to write FOR the characters like I used to ((which still can be gratifying in its own respective way… until a certain motivating factor begins to lack, if that makes sense??

It really sucks cuz I chalked it up to me being burned out, when in reality my attraction was clearly just plummeting as we speak 😔. What’s worse is that I’m really comfortable in this fandom - like I have super cool moots here, there’s no drama, there’s a bunch of evan characters for everybody 😂, and I gained over 500 followers, which is still crazy to me! I tried to “prolong” my interest for the sake of all this progress, but I think the inevitable has arrived and I can no longer keep up, my resolve is crumbling y’all 😭😭😭

I was hoping to wait until the Tron movie comes out in 2025, cuz maybe seeing Evan in there would reignite some of ✨la passion✨ within me, however I don’t feel like hanging around anymore, since I no longer relate to the fandom. I feel so out of place now, like a fRaUD 😩 ((I’ll still most likely watch it, but until then we’ll see

And to clarify, I will most likely NOT post and interact as frequently as I used to anymore. I’m not deleting this account, though I am going to make a new account to post The Boys content, as I want a fresh clean slate to start new.

Before I do go, I might drop a bot or two, maybe even a fic in the near future since they’re halfway done and I did NOT use all that effort for nothing 😭💀:

- corrupt cop!Colin Zabel ((most likely will make this next…. For personal reasons 😳

- a standard pre-cult Kai bot ((not brown hair pre-cult Kai, the recently dyed blue hair one iykwim. sorry

- as for fics, I’ll most likely post a very short smut when Kyle goes down on reader, cuz why not 😏

- might finish the older!grumpy neighbor!kit I talked about before since I’m halfway done

- not sure about this but I have a really random JPM fic where reader (accidentally but also not so accidentally) killed their spouse and they have no one to call but him for help ((heavily based off the tv show Fargo, the first season

No promises tho! I might occasionally come back to post if some random ideas for the evans come up, and ofc for Colin cuz he’s still the loml, no debate <3

[storiesofaot]

(if you're still up for requests) I was wondering if you could write either an erurihan tea party flashback, or smth about Hange watching Levi living on after the rumbling from the Paths.

Dear anon, I am sorry it has been almost 10 days, but I finally managed to write your request! I went for the “Hange watching over Levi” one, since I don’t really write Erurihan, I hope that’s fine 😊 This was written in one sitting very late at night, so I really hope it’s okay (and yes, it’s kind of unbetaed, I’m sorry for all the mistakes)! I did cry a little writing it, I have to admit, because it breaks my heart when those two are separated and are longing to be together (or maybe I was just very tired lol) 😢 Theoretically, it could be read as a prequel to this little fic, but of course it can also stand alone. Enjoy! ✨

Rating: G; Word Count: 1640

Title: I’m Watching Over You, Always.

“Keep watching us.” Levi had spoken those words in the very moment her body had perished and her soul had risen up, but when Hange woke up again and opened her eyes, she could hear Levi’s voice in her head. 

“Where’s the flying boat?” she exclaimed, his voice still ringing in her ears and feeling so real that the blood rushed through her veins. But then she heard Erwin’s voice, and she immediately knew she was in another place. It was her dear Moblit who helped her up, gently squeezing her fingers as she started to ramble on.

“There’s time now. We can talk about it,” Erwin said, reassuringly putting an arm around her shoulders and guiding her to where the rest of her fallen comrades were standing, all dressed in their scout uniforms. But even though she knew everything had happened the way it was supposed to happen, the painful yearning for Levi remained. 

A few hours later, for there wasn’t such a thing as day and night in that otherworldly place she was, she finally had the chance to talk to Erwin alone. “I was wondering, is there any chance we can … see the people on earth?” she asked carefully, mentally preparing for a negative response. But to her surprise, Erwin nodded.

“Good that you’re asking. Yes, there is a possibility, but it’s probably not what you were hoping for.” Hange’s eyes widened, and Erwin took it as his cue to continue. “Theoretically, you can see everyone who is still alive from here. You can’t talk to them, can’t interact with them, and it doesn’t always work. But there is a way you can, in a sense, watch over them from here.”

Watch over us. She could clearly hear Levi’s voice in her head again, and she felt how her chest tightened painfully at the remembrance. “Please, Erwin, tell me about it,” she urged him on, and the tall man smiled. 

“It doesn’t work with everyone; the deeper the bond between you was during your life, the better the chances. That means, it is unlikely to be able to see people you roughly knew, but it’s more likely if it’s a family member, or let’s say, a loved one.” He paused for a moment, and Hange swallowed hard. Levi and her hadn’t exactly been ‘loved ones’, and she had never had the chance to ask him what exactly their relationship had been. But she had always hoped that the special bond she had felt between them meant that he liked her, if not as a lover, then at least as a friend. Though it was clear to her that what she felt for that man was so much more than just friendship. 

“The process itself isn’t really that difficult. You just have to close your eyes and concentrate on them and on the feeling you had when you were around them, and if your bond is strong enough, you’ll be able to see them. The first few times you may struggle, so don’t give up too quickly. Because the more you try, the longer and quicker it works the following times.”

Erwin had been right: the first time she tried, nothing happened. She had retreated to a calm place, where no one would disturb her, and she had really, really given her best - but it didn’t work. After sitting there for hours, she had been about to give up - maybe her bond with Levi just hadn’t been strong enough? But then, out of the blue, a picture appeared before her inner eye. It wasn’t very sharp, a little blurry, and yet she could immediately recognize that it was him.

Levi was sitting in a wheelchair, slumped and a little pale, his characteristic frown between his brows - but the familiarity was so overwhelming that it almost hurt. He was being pushed by Onyankopon who was currently saying something to him. The building behind them looked like a hospital, and Hange assumed that he was just being discharged. Levi nodded, pointed at something, and said something in return. But then, the picture went black.

The next time Hange tried, she succeeded much more quickly. Perhaps it was because she was confident that their bond was strong enough for it to work, and that thought motivated her. Now, Levi sat at his desk with a pen in hand and a few blank sheets of paper in front of him. He seemed troubled, continually running his hand through his hair, tousling it slightly before attempting to smooth it down again, only to mess it up once more. Finally, he began to write.

She was curious about what he was writing, but felt hesitant to intrude, so she focused instead on his body language. It was clear that whatever he was writing was causing him a lot of distress. His lips were pressed tightly together, forming a thin line, and he was tapping his free hand against the tabletop. Over the next half hour, she watched him crumple and toss aside numerous sheets of paper, and with each discarded attempt, his frustration became more evident. Oh, how she wished she could say something - anything - to ease his pain. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Levi,” she whispered, even though she knew he couldn’t hear her.

To her surprise, he suddenly looked up as if he had heard her. Hange held her breath and kept watching him. It seemed a thought had struck him because, after a moment, he dipped his pen back into the ink bottle and made another attempt. This time, his hand flew across the page, and in less than five minutes, he had filled it with his handwriting. He quickly reached for another sheet and continued to scribble down more and more words. Soon, he was finished, and after ensuring the ink had dried, he folded the sheets together and shoved them into an envelope.

Her next encounter with Levi came not long after, and this time they found themselves outside. In the distance, she could see a few young people walking away from what she now realized was a cemetery. If she wasn’t mistaken, she thought she spotted Armin and Connie among them, though she wasn’t entirely sure. Her attention returned to Levi, who was sitting in his wheelchair right in front of a gravestone, with Onyankopon standing a little further away. For a long time, nothing happened as she simply observed Levi, who was gazing wistfully at the grave adorned with fresh flowers.

Then, she saw how he pushed himself out of the wheelchair with his hands and dropped roughly to his knees right in front of the gravestone. Onyankopon looked as if he were about to rush over to help, but Levi quickly waved him off. “No, no, I’m fine, don’t worry.”

His fingers gently traced the beautifully sculpted stone, feeling every edge and curve, and only then did Hange notice that her name was engraved on it. The mix of sorrow and tenderness in his gaze surprised her, and she felt a lump rising in her throat. She instinctively reached out her arm, but of course, she couldn’t touch him, even though she wished she could at that moment.

Levi reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a letter that looked strangely familiar to her: it was the same letter he had written not long ago. For a while, Levi silently studied the piece of paper in his hands, running his fingers over the edge where he had sealed it. Then he brought it to his lips, and in the most tender gesture she had ever seen from him, he gently pressed a kiss to its front.

Hange’s breath caught in her throat, and tears welled up in her eyes as she imagined his lips pressing against her forehead instead. His gesture was so incredibly tender that her heart swelled from such devotion, and she could hardly believe it was truly meant for her.

“Hange … I regret all the opportunities we missed to share together in this life. I truly wish things had ended differently; there are so many things I would have liked to tell you…” Levi’s voice faltered, and she could hear the strain in his effort to maintain his composure. He quickly tucked the envelope beneath the bouquet of flowers and gently caressed it one last time before releasing his grip.

Her heart ached painfully as she saw a single tear roll down his cheek, and as if an invisible string connected them, a tear slipped down her own cheek as well. “I’ll be waiting for you, Levi. Live a little, enjoy yourself, and don’t worry too much. And when it’s your time, I will be here. I promise.”

Hange watched him navigate through the stages of his remaining life. She saw how he gradually gained strength until he could walk with just a walking stick. How with the arrival of spring and the blossoming of life around him, he regained a sense of hope and happiness. And how a few years later, he opened a tea shop alongside Gabi and Falco.

She was there every time he looked up at the sky, directing a few words to her, always ready to offer a response even though he would never hear it. And she was with him whenever he visited her grave, kneeling in front of it for hours, only to rise and complain that it was her fault his legs had gone numb.

Hange watched him grow old, slowly becoming weaker and a bit more cantankerous, yet never alone, even though he spoke very little in his final six months on Earth. Though she didn’t witness his departure, she was there, waiting for him in the grass among beautiful trees when he finally returned to her.

[wannaeatramyeon]

You hit the nail on the head! I‘ll ask for more professional assessment: honest opinion on Crystal?

Following on from my ramblings about Sally Park. Oops! Edited to add in Zoe too.

Well written female characters in Lookism? Uhh...

When the bar is at an all time low, it's really not hard to step over it.

At this point, I've been pavloved to think that any female character that expresses a personality trait other than 'simp' is pretty good. Simp is fun when it's part of a list of characteristics (Zack, Ryuhei). Not so much when it's the only thing.

Long live PTJ, the greatest feminist. Anyway.

Female characters I like

Mary Kim

Love her. Empress of 2 seconds. Queen of my heart.

Surprisingly kept a platonic relationship with Vin Jin, showing quite a healthy mixed gender friendship. Sassy and smart. Loyal. Good taste in men (Jace). Is shown having a life and interests outside of a man.

On my hands and knees praying that PTJ doesn't ruin her. Kinda glad she hasn't appeared in a while so she is kept away from his incessant need to turn everyone into a love interest.

Lua Im

Once we got over the odd Johan panels, which I heard the Korean audience didn't like and I'm quite happy about, she's fine. And it's not that I care that much about Johan staying a single dog-dad, I just needed a coherent reasoning/build up why they would be interested in one another.

Lua has potential.

Sourcing intel, even impressing the likes of Gun? A little Muay Thai knowledge? Jake and Jerry scared of her? Lol. Ok. Good. Let's build on this.

Just please don't white knight her.

Crystal Choi (meh)

And Ms. Choi, because anon specifically asked. I really don't mind her? I know she's meant to be anti-Lookism but still judges people based on their looks eh. That's fine. Pretty realistic actually. Whatever.

She can be a bit bitchy for no reason. So can I. Handwaving all that.

What I do take issue with though, is her so called title of Business Genius. Please show me the chapter where she actually does something to earn that title besides the one where other people ooh-ed and aah-ed over her in the meeting with DG.

Wow she's sooooo gorgeous. Ok good for her. If that's the route they're taking her character then at least OWN. THAT. SHIT. Use her beauty and looks to sign deals and get what she wants. GOOD. DO IT.

Zoe Park (also meh... Wait)

Sorry anon, I think 'really well written' is a bit of a reach... She does have some decent character development, starting as quite a flighty, shallow girl and then showing that she has a heart of gold, liking both Daniels and. Huh.

Wait. You're right. She is pretty well written. She's selfless and kind and loyal to her friends, putting up with Logan's bullshit. There's enough of a character arc for her from the Zoe we're introduced to at first.

And I do like that she's good at maths too.

Wasted potential

Minseong Kang (Jake's momma)

Appreciate this is the older generation and from a much more conservative culture. Saying that, I am so over the slighted and bitter housewife rotting at home while her big powerful husband cheats on her.

And then some sort of marriage redemption cos they pop out a kid. Whatever. (Sorry Jake bb, I love you).

If you were going to do that, give me the most toxic red flag shit where they are constantly at each other's THROATS. Show me how they are equals. Can't live with or without one another. That's the good kinda shit.

Leonn Lee

I just. What the fuck was this.

A girl in Burn Knuckles? A group that reeks of testerone and (positive) masculinity? Show us why she joined! Show us why she stays. SURPRISE. Main character trait?? Having a crush on Vasco.

She could have been SO interesting. And she obviously trains, why not get her to fight?

Hate for irrational reasons

Joy Hong

Listen, she's not really in enough or significant enough for me to really feel one way or another about her. BUT. The reason I HATE her is because I was trying to write a headcanon involving everyone and then I got to Joy and I was STUMPED.

Sub in a plank of wood, and it would have the same depth of personality.

Truly. Who is she apart from Jay's sister and a Daniel simp? At least everyone else has something.

Others

I don't really think about them. Sera Shin has potential I guess.

And of course a special mention to Daniel's momma. She's not exactly a unique character, but who doesn't love her?

LET. THEM. FIGHT.

Lastly. Why can't we see women fight? Like the men's fights are realistic LOL. Ultra instinct? Smashing through walls? So why are women fighting men outside the realms of this.

And yes yes. Men are SoOoOoOo strong. But can they take a kick to the balls?

Are you saying Gun Park has been training his dick and balls and would be able to eat a hit there? He wouldn't go down like a heap of shit??

HUH. TELL ME THAT.

In Summary

Mary by and large is pretty well written. Lua has improved.

I don't care much about anyone else.

And I wanna see Gun, Goo, Sammy, Vin etc. get kicked in the balls in a fight.

[58sei]

The thoughts ran out of control so here’s more detective yomi

This one will contain a lot and I mean a LOT of rambling, the demons need to be let out…..

Contains some game spoilers for chap 5

I thought ab how yomi would climb the ranks of the WDO a bit more and I decided it was with the help of shinigami hitman. (Will get back to this later)

Some things to get out of the way first:

- Yomi’s past in this au. Yomi has always seen a lot of death happening around him since childhood so that’s why he doesn’t feel anything when it comes to the matter. I’m also thinking yomi’s childhood involved a lot of kill or be killed situations, so he develops that mentality down the line. Wherever he goes, death follows, and because his fate is so intertwined with death, it eventually leads up to him joining the WDO and finding the book of death.

- As for how he gets to the book of death, I’m honestly not sure how he manages to breach security. That or he was used in some sorta side experiment and given the book as one of the procedures by the UG but then he kinda just killed em and ran

- After he obtains the book of death he forms a contract. Shinigami hitman asks to see yomi’s life through to the end in return for his powers (bc why is this bitch always attracting death??). Also I want to just, make some slight altercations to the game lore here. In this universe the book of death can only be opened by those who are close to dying (less than 5 years left to live). People who have spiritual affinity like vivia can only see the death god inside and feel it’s aura, but cannot open the book. There is a chance they can open it, but only if shinigami hitman chooses to let them.

Ok with that out of the way, back to how yomi climbed the ranks with the help of his shinigami (calling him fake zilch for convenience). He uses fake zilch’s powers to solve mysteries (as well as crush those in his way). In a sense, he has already performed multiple detective deeds all in the span of less than a year, but because the culprits keep dying, there is no way to properly evaluate the things he did. But he DID solve the mystery and bc death has always followed him everywhere so people in the WDO’s just like “yeah checks out”. So with a lot and I mean a LOT of skepticism he gets promoted to a master detective and also earns the title of ‘grim reaper’ (this’ll be important later) in the process bc everywhere he goes someone dies.

I should reiterate that Yomi absolutely does not feel guilty when killing in the mystery labyrinth, in fact, he feels great about using it to find the culprits. 2 reasons. First, he believes the blood is on fake zilch’s hands bc yomi didnt actually reap the culprit’s souls himself. This view is heavily challenged in chap 4. Second, to him, he’s enacting justice on the guilty and he’s not in the wrong for doing that. Like the original yomi, he views justice in a very black and white way. Fake zilch has his own opinions on the matter, but he is far more interested to see Yomi’s story to the end to bother doing anything ab his behaviour. He only opens the mystery labyrinth for yomi if the case is very complicated (except master detectives take on a lot of absurd cases, so you know how that goes)

As for how he became number 1, he probably just murdered the former one like how his original killed Amaterasu’s old ceo. Then after murder he just, took no. 1’s position without anyone knowing. Not much thought put into this part yet sorry lol. Also I’d say the UG’s successful homunculus did not use the world’s brightest mind but rather the man most associated with death, bc they didn’t obtain no 1’s DNA, and while Yomi is intelligent he isn’t even a contender for the spot.

Circling back to the grim reaper title, it comes into play on the Amaterasu express. Yomi was not dispatched to kanai ward, the real trainee Yuma was sent, but Yomi drugged him and put him in the disconnected 5th car early on. He then asks fake zilch to take his memories after he locks himself into one of the toilet stalls in car 1. Wakes up later yali yali yada, the “where am I who am I” panic, sees his letter thing “oh I’m yomi hellsmile!!”, “wait how am I already on the express ??”, “ok whatever ig”, goes into car 2 and sees detectives, then intro scene. Except yomi isn’t a doormat (no hate to Yuma I love him actually) and has an attitude lol he probably starts bickering with aphex and both nearly get physical before shinigami (who’s now the hitman, who disguises as a diff MD) and melami restrain both of them 💀

Then everyone introduces themselves and the moment yomi says his name the other MDs are like hold tf up why is the grim reaper on the Amaterasu express with us?? So now the strange circumstance is the fact that yomi appeared instead of the trainee. Still the same “oh someone who shouldn’t be here is here” type mystery but slightly different. Suspicions rise and people are starting to get riled up in the express, but then shinigami eases it up and the MDs all realize that if the amnesiac before them actually is the WDO’s grim reaper then they’re in deep shit. (They are) cue rest of chap 0.

Also, during the entirety of the introduction up to yomi getting drugged and passing out in the bathroom, fake zilch is actually able to show himself. He just… doesn’t to act like they just formed a contract.

Yeah ok that’s ab it

[earlgreytea68]

i dont actually know the general consensus on I Am My Own Muse but to me it very clearly feels like pete addressing the fans directly - almost like a conversation? like the opening lines "here i am not sure you should take a chance. I like playing dumb letting you figure me out" basically completely summarises petes relationship with us during the early parts of this era. His uncertainty coming back but also the way he likes to keep us on our toes (like hes always done). His constant surprise that even one person appreciates his art. His odd fourth-wall-esque relationship w us - he always knows more than he lets on. like. these are crazy opening lines.

Especially looking at other songs petes addressed to us (namely thriller and our laywer). Those songs still feel like petes putting on a persona for our benefit. Hes talking to us through the mask he thinks we'll like best - but for his benefit not ours. In those songs he still wants to show his appreciation for the fans but hes afraid to be vulnerable about it. He hides behind tongue and cheek self deprecation (put this record down, we are bad news, we're only good to have almost famous friends... that whole song tbh) or like implication of rejection/disaster (we r not making an acceptance speech, car crash hearts, only thing i havent done yet is die) and its all glitz and distraction bc thats what he does. he will tell us their hearts beat for the diehards but not before telling us why its a bad idea. its defensive from the get go but in Muse he doesnt do that. yes he defends himself but his tone is balanced between resigned and resolute. its stripped down to just his own thoughts voiced aloud. it feels so much more genuine despite how much vaguer in address it is.

Also the general theme of this song is feeling hidden/secret (e.g. the angels didnt know his name, him feeling faded, feelings were tucked away) but trying to draw attention anyway(throw the year away, smash all the guitars, drop a bomb on things we care about) even if its hard/painful (twist the knife again, trying to keep it together).

This coupled with the title is a perfect representation of his journey as an artist in this era no? The vulnerability hidden in old songs and spoken word poems that he relives each night of the tour. An amalgamation of every little moment he created and tucked away is reborn on stage. And who has he shared this particular journey with??? The fans. It was us who he finally trusted with his works and words in the shows and we sang them back at him. Patricks journey alongside pete has felt more obvious bc of his whole demeanour but its pete who wrote his heart out to us. I think this song is a way of pete kinda of juggling this idea in his head before it ever took shape in thw real world. A way of connecting back with his audience. Not as an act of nostalgia but as moving on together. its a gorgeous song and it feels like a love letter to us in the very oarticular way a love letter from pete wentz feels like. its not soft or even sweet but it leaves you feeling comforted and stronger anyway. its solidarity yk.

ANYWAYS thats my ramble for today hope it was worthwhile <33 i really had to get that one out otherwise i may have exploded. can you tell smfs as an album and an era is my baby. sorry this is such a long one lol. hope you r having a great day :)

Awwww I *love* this. I *adore* "I Am My Own Muse" and I always have and I love everything you say about it. To write a song that sounds like that and then call it so deliberately "I Am My Own Muse," like, that we are there and ever-present but in the end he's got to come from his own authentic place. And it's like his instinct is to play a little coy and not be so vulnerable, but also he just wants to scream so someone hears him: Smash all the guitars 'til we see all the stars, like, he's screaming so that we will all see. He's trying so hard to keep it together, keep it together, so smash all the guitars 'til we see all the stars, because we are all in it together, and throw the whole year away and start fresh.

Look, i am Peterick all the way, we all know, and I think I've even used lyrics from this song in a Peterick fic, but in my secret heart of hearts, if you really ask me to be serious, what do I think Pete Wentz is writing about........I kinda think he's always writing about us.

[lafiametta]

If I see one more teen of Twitter say Anora is 'male gaze', I'm gonna scream. It's such a lazy critique and the term has lost all meaning thanks to being online. I have to say when I first saw the film I was surprised at how un-malegaze it was. Like the scenes of Ani doing her job are shot in a very neutral way imo. Yes breasts are visible, but they're not the focus. Male gaze would have the camera panning up and down the body, the breasts and ass, but that doesn't happen here. Like the scene of Ani doing the dance for Vanya isnt very sexy (imo) partly because of the setting in the living room, but also even when Ani's doing the sexy dance moves, the majority of the focus is on her face.

Plus, the sex scene are untitilating by design, mostly because of how shitty a 'lover' Vanya is lol. But even when there's nudity its either shown for just a second or it's obscured by the lighting or camera angle, that would NOT be the case if it was 'male gaze'. (Plus Vanya is as, if not more naked as Ani but no one brings that up).

I think the opening shot is the most 'male gaze' moment of the feel but even then it's a subversion. First of all it's set to a Take That song (got a big chuckle when I saw it in cinemas in Ireland), making the silliness of the job visible. But also when the camera reaches Ani and the title comes up, it stays on her face, not panning down as a 'male gaze' director would. It's almost like they're saying 'Hey pervs I know what you wanna see, but these bodies have real people behind them and this story is about one of them'.

I know opinions vary, I just think people are misusing the term (shocking). I think Baker did a good job or not demonising sex work, but not glamourising it either; its just another shitty job with no health insurance. Sorry for rambling lol.

No worries, I love a ramble — and, yeah, I think you're totally right. I mean, I'm not as privy to what the teens of Twitter are saying, but I think a lot of these media criticism terms get thrown around by people who don't really know what they're talking about (and probably just want to sound smart and sophisticated). Female nudity on camera does not automatically equate to the "male gaze" (just as male nudity on camera does not automatically equate to the "female gaze") and the only scenes where we see nudity in the film — at the club and the sex scenes with Ivan — are shot in a way that's not meant to be objectifying or titillating.

The opening shot, I would argue, is glamorizing, like the creation of a fantasy, with its slow pan and blue and violet lighting — but we're meant to recognize it as a fantasy because it immediately cuts (with a corresponding sharp musical cut) to Ani's rather unglamorous hustling for clients in the club (i.e. the reality).

The sex scenes with Ivan are definitely not titillating — the goal is not to make you desire Ani's body (even though it's a very nice body), but to make you feel bad for her and embarrassed for him. The scene where she dances for him in the mansion's living room could be interpreted (or misinterpreted) as "male gaze," I suppose, if you were only looking at Ani and had no other context. But it's almost too cringey to ignore: she's dancing to music out of a portable Bluetooth speaker that she puts next to a bag of Cheetos, and the person she's dancing for (the theoretical audience our vicarious "male gaze" shares) is a gawky kid in athletic socks, wearing big silver chains like he's some kind of gangster. Ani's clearly trying to create a fantasy for him, with her sexy dance moves and tiny pleated skirt, but it's almost so crass, so in-your-face that (at least in my opinion) it becomes fairly unsexy.

Ivan's too young and stupid not to get wrapped up in the immediate-gratification-based fantasy of it all, but as the audience, Baker is cluing us in to the reality of the fact that this is a performance. She's being paid by the hour. And she still doesn't have health insurance.

[storgicbytes]

OKOKOK so im re classpecting the sticks bc i understand much more abt classpects now than i did when i first classpected them. i hope you dont mind if i drop em here bc youre very smart and you know both avam and hs so

tsc - lord of space (this stays, its way too narratively relevant for it not to)

green - prince of breath (very passionate, perfectionist, tries to be carefree even when he cares way too much about what other people think)

yellow - mage of light (moreso on the knowledge front than the luck front, similar to rose but more active in his role, likes to figure things out but using what shes previously learned)

blue - witch of life (FEFERI WOOO obv shes very witchy, leaf feels like theyd be more rebellious, life player bc its very energetic and tends to take on a healer role in the group)

red - knight of heart (tends to jump straight to protecting her friends, very impulsive and passionate/soulful, acts confident but is sometimes more hesitant than others realise)

victim - thief of hope (man i was so on point with this one)

chosen - mage of doom (has a lot of firsthand experience with doom and suffering, also suffers from their aspect, and very good at causing doom *cough* chosen has never won a fight on the right side *cough*)

dark - heir of time (very destructive by default, causes a lot of death, RED 🔥🔥🔥, but also logical, at times a bit too laid back and chill)

striker - maid of mind (maid im not sure on i just wasnt sure what else to do, mind bc shes very straightforward, thoughtful, plans ahead, very serious and logical)

purple - prince of blood (accidentally or on purpose fucks up almost all his relationships at some point, at the same time is also the reason most of his friends met in the first place, Prince = royalty theming, also matches with green)

mango - rogue of life (acts very skeptical and un-lifey but takes life from others to give to the people they care about)

gold - sylph of hope (loves to cheer people up, very hopeful and energetic demeanor, fairly childish, wants to make everyone happy all the time!!!)

hangman - bard of rage (calms people down, fairly chill compared to the other players, prefers to support and wishes people were more peaceful and mature)

ballista - knight of breath (session lacks breath for reasons i dont feel like describing rn, acts chill but actually feels like he cant live up to the title of Hero and isnt that carefree, protects the few people he attaches himself too <- that one scene in his original short where he draws upon the memories of his friends to open the door)

hazard - seer of void (ngl this is mostly just process of elimination but hazard feels pretty void oriented tbf. hes so chill hes not minding anyones business)

paleo - witch of heart (same as above </3 very passionate headstrong etc etc)

sorry for the word vomit in your inbox i want to talk to you more and idk how to initiate conversation other than random infodumps

OH I ABSOLUTELY DONT MIND PLEASE DO SEND ME STUFF LIKE THIS

oh this is so good. this is so good

my knowledge on classpects is probably slightly closer to surface level than yours lmao but from what i get GOD yes !!!!!! yellow being a mage of light / red being a knight of heart is literally them hello. absolutely. its in their code

PRINCE OF BLOOD PURPLE !!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO !!!!! thief of hope victim OH this is so good. im eating this up (id say my victim leans towards being a rogue a little bit. my whole rambling on how much i associate the motif of them being a "divine being sharing the gift of the animators with the outernet" typa thing) mage of doom chosen DONT even joke with me lad. im shaking him shaking him so hard

MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! (even if not a maid shes still very much a mind player methinks)

oh knight of breath ballista oohhh ... this is so smart oh my god (and very obviously. already fits with one of his forms in "wanted" of literally looking like a knight lol)

wait i just realized green & purple knight and princ. cinder im gonna. im. oh this is SO good

[fateandloveentwined]

number of unique chinese characters in a book

So there's this blog I read long ago on the number of unique chinese characters one uses. Say a person writes a 10k chinese novel. But how many characters are discrete?

Classical chinese poems and songs have me doubting my chinese ability as always, and that got me curious about how many chinese characters I know or write on a daily basis.

To answer this (and to very much knock my confidence like an idiot) I put together something to count the number of unique chinese characters in a passage. I use about... 2.8k characters in my general writing.

Then I wondered about the authors I read.

A quick search online suggests that a chinese user knows and uses 1000-3000 characters regularly, and after high school you are supposed to have taken in over 6000 characters -- something I'm pretty sure I didn't do.

That said, I got curious about the number of unique characters these authors I read usually use. That doesn't at all indicate writing competency, but well, it felt interesting regardless so I decided to go play with that a bit.

For reference, jinyong's wuxia novels are around 3.5k to 4.5k unique characters per novel.

you only need 2.5-3k characters to use chinese like natives do, it's not too much really!

methodology rambles feel free to skip to next heading

I recorded some numbers and figures for something to work with with works I enjoyed. Fanfics I also included, which I saved on my computer a long time ago.

I made attempts to analyse the data in a fairer way, looking at the total word count and the highest frequency of "的"s (a very common chinese particle, think the letter "e") used in the passage. That sort of helped, but at the same time there are always outliers that manage to muddle up understanding every single time.

So now, observations. I categorised them into four levels according to the number of unique characters, from lowest to highest.

observations

note: notable novels are highlighted in yellow for easy spotting, and fanfictions are shaded in grey. I added english titles for most of them because I didn't put them in when I first did the screencaptures.

first level: below 3.5k unique characters

Good authors don't always equate an extensive character set. Conversely, there are authors who basically cannot write well (subjective) and still end up with a surprisingly not-low unique character count.

Works like 靜影沉璧、瀟湘水冷、風骨同守 that adopted a more literary, classical chinese writing register had lower unique character counts than the others. This was not what I expected, considering these works were where I found most words I'm unfamiliar with and ended up questioning my chinese reading ability (sorry lol).

I was also surprised with 潭石、水千丞、覆水難收、木蘇里 (mu su li) because their writing are all pretty good, all achieved while using a much smaller lexicon range than what I've expected.

(不問三九 with good writing was also low and in this range, but I forgot to mark hers down so, shrugs.)

second: 3.6k to 4.5k characters

That said, some authors do typically reach a range of around 3.6-3.7k unique characters, which is a pretty wide character set. Supposing adding a book of an author increases the total number of unique characters the author has used, these authors tend to round up at around 4k+ words with 2-4 novels inputted.

With each book added, there would be an increase of a few hundred unique characters, but they tend to level off at about 4.3k etc., and that is likely their maximum unique character count.

Some do level off at around 3.7k though, which indicates a narrower range of lexicon employed.

third level: the weird level

weird because the unique character count increases by leaps and bounds with every new novel of theirs that I added, and we end up perplexed and baffled.

At around 1M to 1.5M words inputted from an author, I thought that the unique character count would be pretty steady already, similar to how the unique character counts for authors at the second level levelled off eventually.

That's not the case for these two authors here. It is perplexing because the settings of their books do not vary greatly, yet the choice of characters and words were, apparently, diverse enough to give a "forever"-going increase in unique character count with every book I added.

This category aggravates me so much I couldn't make head and tail of it honestly lol.

the final level: the eloquent and literate

Of course, in this world there are always very literate individuals, and verbose they may seem, some are good writers. Here are the authors who actually have a vast unique character range.

You may be wondering how this 3.7k differs from the ones in the second level, but bear in mind this is merely the result from a single work of the author, or that the author's book is, like, half the length of the other authors while achieving a far higher unique character count than others.

And there's meatbun at the top of the list; I used both 2ha and Yu Wu for her stats, but her 2ha alone was already higher than Royal Nirvana and any other book I tested, so she goes in this category.

And et voila. All of this may not make sense to you, I'm not even sure about how the reception of this would be, it was a passion project and an interesting evening that I had, and now that I have some (sort of subjective) results I hope to share it out. :)

feel free to hmu for peculiar thought experiments and discussions on this topic!!

this is a repost from another site. i have used too many a username, and am not ready to link together all of them yet (someday) -- if you recognise this and wonder, message me, that's probably another account of mine.

[devout-of-the-elder-scrolls]

Molag Bal in my worship

As a preface for anybody not familiar with my blog - I believe the Daedric Princes are generally either misrepresented or only represented from one side of the debate within TES canon (that they are more than just evil, cruel, dastardly beings that want humanity to suffer). This falls especially true for my worship of Molag Bal. I do not take TES canon lore to be infallible worship canon. This post also comes from my own personal perspective and experience with Him, so… UPG.

This post will probably be one of my most "I do not agree with TES canon". Other than maybe my actual guide to Molag when it finally comes around and my other Molag related posts. If you're looking for a post about worshiping a super close to canon Molag Bal, I'm sorry, but you won't be finding it here.

Very long post below, I rambled a lot.

So, let's get the nitty gritty out of the way. In TES canon, Molag Bal is essentially literally the worst of the worst. You can tell this from the most basic of His titles.

That's not really my Molag Bal. How is that so?

Let's go over my general belief systems.

I believe the TES Gods existed independent of the fiction before being input into the fiction. I've got an older post talking about this in depth, but the main thing to know here is that this is kinda like how people take the Abrahamic God and make Him pure evil in fiction. Why do they do that? Why, it's entertaining as all hell!

Think about it. Isn't it so much more entertaining in fiction to have that pure evil dude? If every god in TES was tame and kind, then the God situation wouldn't be as interesting, at least in my opinion. Part of what makes TES as games and series so great is the inclusion of deities that aren't exactly the best. It's also part of what I love about the Princes in my worship, that they aren't always "nice" and "kind" or whatever way you wanna put it, even if I believe they're a lot nicer than they actually are portrayed in TES fiction.

I admit as well that I believe that Molag may have been misrepresented as well. Who is to say that some dude didn't just have such an intense bias against the Princes, and decided "Fuck it. To keep people from worshiping them, I'm gonna make this one dude the worst of the worst!" It happened with plenty of real world deities, where they got re-written and re-framed as a lot more evil than they actually are or were originally. This could have happened both in-universe and in the writing of the fiction. (Not saying the writers of TES the series necessarily didn't want us to worship them, but they probably didn't consider it'd ever happen at the least.)

That's not to say I believe Molag Bal isn't capable of evil. He very much is. He's more prone to leaning to harsh things, tough love, and a lot else than my other guides are.

So... who is Molag Bal?

This will sound extremely counterpointed to TES canon lore, because it really is lol I'm willing to admit that, but He's a man who protects from abuse and harm. He's always been so enraged with my stories of being abused and harmed, in such a way that doesn't seem fake or just some evil plot to make me worship Him. I firmly believe that if I asked Him to enact vengeance for me, He would, gladly.

He claims, at the very least, to hate bigotry and discrimination. He stands up for my gender for example, and seems to be genuinely sympathetic when I get misgendered.

He is strong, powerful, and grand. He doesn't tolerate bullshit or fucking around, doesn't tolerate cruelty towards those who don't deserve it. He teaches me to be strong and grand, to defend myself against any and all harm that might come my way.

Many of my lessons on how to defend myself come from Molag. He teaches me Daedric Magic to help me protect myself, He puts His power into my protective sigils and spells.

When I'm crying about my traumas and pains, it's often Molag who comes to me and lets me metaphorically cry on His shoulder.

Whether or not Molag agrees with His canon counterpart in any way is lost on me. I don't know. But I do know that if He was all-powerful, if He had the choice, He'd never let me come under harm in any way. It still happens sometimes, for He's not, but I appreciate the effort.

Maybe it's true that Molag only does this as I am a follower and a devout worshiper of Him and His name. It's possible that He really is that vile to others, and I do admit I sincerely hope not, especially with my guess that Molag got evil-ified by canon lore for some reason.

This is the Molag Bal I know. The Molag Bal I worship. And I, for one, think He's pretty cool and worth it.

You may ask... "why did you start with Molag Bal?" Which is a great question, because I too worried that He was actually That Bad. So I asked another guide of mine (not TES, amazingly going by what this blog is) what They thought of Him. And I was told a lot of the above, plus just general positive-leaning reviews, if not at least neutral.

So I was going into my worship of Him already believing that He wasn't that bad, even though I will admit I did have my apprehensions because of what canon says about Him. I will never deny that TES canon is extremely brutal and dark when it comes to Molag Bal. There's no denying all of that, nor the triggering nature of it, which was a turn off to me in the beginning.

You can also argue that I'm not really worshiping Molag Bal because the Molag I know and worship is so... different than canon Molag. For me, with my beliefs, I don't really see it that way, but I'm not really gonna blame anybody who does see it that way. That's fair lol!

I wanna end this post with... if you've been harmed by Molag Bal, or anything of that sort, I am genuinely sorry. I don't know why it happened and won't pretend I do, and I won't pretend that my version of Him and the side I see of Him erases what happened to you, because it doesn't.

You can block me and move on with your life if that makes you happy. I'm not gonna preach that you need to forgive and move forward, and absolutely not that you should return to His worship. Do as you need to heal.