#sorry to try to solve all evil on this planet???

[bat-the-misfit]

honestly why don't we just murder j k rolling on shit already

[anamericangirl]

I saw Stephen Fry say once, "If I ever met God, I'd spit at his feet. I'd curse his name. I'd tell him how dare you. I'd say how dare you let children suffer with diseases that rot their eyes from their heads."

I saw the comment section filling with people going "YEAH, FUCK YOU GOD"

And I saw one comment, buried in the middle of the sea of hatred towards God, that said "And what are you doing to help those children, Mr. Fry? You're sitting on a talk show blaming God. You're trying to push an anti-Christian agenda, nay an anti-Creationism agenda. You're using your fame, your fortune, your power, your voice, to actively curse the name of God instead of expending the same energy to help those children you claim you care about."

It was a moment very early in my religious journey from atheist to theist that really made me look at these vicious anti-God people who will blame Him for literally every problem on earth no matter how man-made that problem is.

A school shooting happens and it's God's fault that children died.

A baby is killed and it's God's fault for letting a pro-choicer get pregnant.

A war breaks out and people are being slaughtered and it's God's fault for giving people the freedom to kill each other.

And now, I look back on Stephen Fry and his "I'd spit at his feet."

What does he think God's response will be? Crying? Begging Mr. Fry for mercy? "I'm so sorry Mr. Fry, you're right, I'm so evil, I'm such a bad person, you should rule Heaven instead of me, please don't hate me, please, I'm disassociating, oh no!"

I think God would look at him and say, "All of those children, who died because people like you chose to do nothing to help them, are here with me now in Heaven, being nurtured and cared for. You spent your life and your wealth attacking my worshipers who were going to those countries and helping those children. You spent your life cursing my name with an ego so inflated that you felt as though your words would scorn and hurt me. Have you considered, Stephen, at any point in your life, that if a disease from the land is killing children, you should move the children away from that land? You should cure the disease? You should do something, anything, to aid those people, instead of spending your millions of dollars going on talk shows and flying around the world in your private jet to preach about how evil I, your creator, am for not solving all of the hardships that I gave you? The issues in your life are meant to strengthen you. When you are hurt, it is so you may inspire an impetus to fight back against that which hurt you. If I stepped in to sweep up every problem, what would life teach you? You would be complacent, lazy, and would die without ever having known hardship."

I know it's blasphemous to put words in His mouth, but, really, I think God teaches us time and time again that life is hard and that we have the tools He gave us, our freedom, our hands, our voices, to learn from those problems and do something to fix them.

Here we are 2000 years after He sent us His son, and we have machines that can do surgery, skyscrapers, planes, virtual reality, the ability to communicate across the planet, people in space stations, people going to the moon, we've accomplished so much and overcome so many obstacles. We learned to fly, we learned to breathe in space, we learned to breathe underwater, we learned to transmit our voices across the world in split seconds.

And yet Mr. Fry thinks that because children suffer and God doesn't intervene, there must be no God.

I'm sorry this took me so long to get to but I think it's such a great thought!

It always irritates me to hear people like Stephen Fry go on a pseudo-intellectual rant about how, if God exists, He's evil because children get sick and God will somehow be intimidated or humbled by Stephen Fry shaking his fist at him. When, if Stephen Fry truly believes it is evil to not stop a child from suffering when you are capable of stopping it, then he is just as evil as he accuses of God of being because Stephen Fry certainly is capable of helping more children than the average person and he is thus an evil person for spending any time not doing just that.

Who is he to curse God for not doing something that he is capable of doing and chooses not to? It is the worst kind of virtue signalling. Stephen Fry does not care about suffering children. He just wants to use them in his seriously flawed argument against God and Christianity.

It also exposes a deep ignorance of God. Stephen Fry has spent no time attempting to explore or understand Christianity or the nature of God before criticizing it, which makes all his criticisms irrelevant nonsense.

God is not evil because bad things exist, bad things exist because we created bad things by going against God. All suffering, including sickness, is a result of the fall of man. It's our fault.

And also, we are the body of the Christ. We are supposed to be helping our fellow human beings when they are suffering or in crisis. God has given us free will and let us reign over the earth and that means bad things will happen because people make bad decisions and God's not evil because he doesn't intervene and put a stop to every bad thing.

When people like Stephen Fry don't help a suffering child and we lose that child, that is sad, especially for us here on Earth. But that child ends up with God. That child is alive and happy and in a place with no pain and suffering. God is doing what Stephen Fry did not. And we just don't like it because it separates us.

And those are also the people who want to blame every bad thing that happens on God but will never give Him the credit for anything good that happens.

They try to put God in a box and say "if he was real then this wouldn't happen." They are trying to create the perimeters of what they think God should do if he were real instead of studying God and his word to determine what would actually be the case if he were real.

Those people are so fake and their criticisms stem from ignorance. I would respect them a lot more if they took the time to learn and understand what the teachings are before trying to criticize them. Instead of trying to address what the actual belief is or understand who God actually is, they create their own standards and then use them to try and debunk something that their standards don't accurately present.

[wearethekat]

Anticipated New Releases of 2024

**As anticipated by Me. Mostly SFF. Links are to goodreads because that's what I use, sorry. Anything marked "new to me" I haven't read anything by that author before and therefore can't vouch for the quality. I just think the premise is neat.**

Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands, Heather Fawcett (16 January)

Sequel to the charming novel about the fairy anthropologist.

Exordia, Seth Dickinson (23 January)

Well, it isn't a new Baru Cormorant, but this modern SF about first contact may be the next best thing.

City of Stardust, Georgia Summers (30 January)

New to me. A young woman descends into the underworld in order to break her family's fatal curse.

The Tainted Cup, Robert Jackson Bennett (6 February)

New to me. A sherlock holmes flavored duo solves the mystery of the murder of an imperial official in a labyrinthine fantasy realm.

What Feasts at Night, T Kingfisher (13 February)

The sequel to the mushroom horror book What Moves the Dead.

The Warm Hands of Ghosts, Katherine Arden (13 February)

A ghost story set in WW1 about a woman searching for her missing brother.

The Fox Wife, Yangsze Choo (13 February)

New to me. A detective in 1908 Manchuria investigates a young woman's death in an area full of mythical foxes.

Redsight, Meredith Mooring (27 February)

New to me. Unpowered priestess and Imperial pawn is set on a collision path with a pirate with a grudge for the Imperium (Gay romance).

Sunbringer, Hannah Kaner (12 March)

Sequel about the professional godkiller Kissen.

Jumpnauts, Hao Jingfang (12 March)

New to me. A SF novel in translation from Chinese, with three scientists joining forces to deal peacefully with a first contact situation.

The Woods All Black, Lee Mandelo (19 March)

I liked Mandelo's debut novel very much so I'm excited to read this queer horror novella set in 1920s Appalachia.

Floating Hotel, Grace Curtis (19 March)

New to me. A series of cozy character vignettes on a space cruise ship after a murder has occurred. One of the four (!) space hotel murder crimes books coming out this year.

The Emperor and the Endless Palace, Justinian Huang (26 March)

New to me. Reincarnation gay romance set in 4 BCE China, the 1740s, and modern-day LA.

Alien Clay, Adrian Tchaikovsky (28 March)

Far future space xenoarchaeology by a man trapped on a prison planet.

Someone You Can Build a Nest In, John Wiswell (2 April)

New to me. Bizarre lesbian cannibalism monster romance from the point of view of the monster.

The Familiar, Leigh Bardugo (9 April)

Glad to see Bardugo writing more adult fantasy, and this one is especially exciting because it's a fantasy set in early modern Spain with a Jewish main character. Fun to see a more original historical period.

A Sweet Sting of Salt, Rose Sutherland (9 April)

New to me. Lesbian selkie romance.

Death in the Spires, KJ Charles (11 April)

Charles branching out from romance into historical Oxford murder mystery about a group of friends with dark secrets.

Audrey Lane Stirs The Pot, Alexis Hall (22 April)

The new Hall thinly veiled british baking show romcom. Libby says it's releasing in April but I've heard nothing from the author so I think it may be Alecto'd (shifted to next year)

Necrobane, Daniel M Ford (23 April)

Sequel to the dungeons and dragons-esque low fantasy lesbian necromancy book.

A Letter to the Luminous Deep, Sylvie Cathrall (25 April)

New to me. Sweet underwater epistolary academic romance.

How To Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying, Django Wexler (21 May)

New to me. A young hero caught in a fantasy time loop gives up and tries being the villain in an attempt to escape.

Goddess of the River, Vaishnavi Patel (21 May)

Another woman-centered retelling of Hindu mythology, this time based on the river goddess Ganga.

Escape Velocity, Victor Manibo (21 May)

New to me. Evil and toxic private school alumni jockey for position in a space hotel event in an attempt to escape a dying Earth.

The Fireborne Blade, Charlotte Bond (28 May)

New to me. Gay dragon slaying knight novella.

Evocation, ST Gibson (28 May)

New to me but looks very cool. Attorney and medium David attempts to escape his deal with the devil with the help of his ex boyfriend and his ex boyfriend's wife (Poly romance).

Service Model, Adrian Tchaikovsky (4 June)

In an SF future, a robot kills its human owners and ventures out into a world where human supremacy is beginning to crumble.

Lady Eve's Last Con, Rebecca Fraimow (4 June)

New to me. A con artist seeks revenge on the man who hurt her sister, who's coincidentally also on a space cruise ship (Sapphic romance subplot).

Triple Sec, TJ Alexander (4 June)

An actual mainstream published poly romance (!!) by trans author Alexander.

Running Close to the Wind, Alexandra Rowland (11 June)

Gay! Pirates! Scheming! Alt fantasy world! Monks! I liked Taste of Gold and Iron a lot and I'm very excited for this one.

The Knife and the Serpent, Tim Pratt (11 June)

New to me. Space opera about an interdimensional organization. Also, there's a sentient starship.

The Witchstone, Henry Neff (18 June)

A childhood favorite of mine's adult debut, featuring a demon who suddenly has to shape up at his curse keeper job after eight hundred years of slacking.

Rakesfall, Vajra Chandrasekera (18 June)

VERY excited to read more weird queer sff from this author after a fantastic debut. Looks weird. I'm in.

Foul Days, Genoveva Dimova (25 June)

New to me. A witch in a Slavic fantasy inspired world flees her evil ex, the Tsar of Monsters. There's also a plague and a detective.

Saints of Storm and Sorrow, Gabriella Buba (25 June)

New to me. Filipino inspired anticolonialist fantasy novel about a nun who is secretly practicing the religion of her goddess.

The Duke at Hazard, KJ Charles (18 July)

A queer regency with an incognito duke by one of my particular favorite romance authors.

Long Live Evil, Sarah Rees Brennan (30 July)

!!! Very excited to see a new adult fantasy by Brennan. A reader is dragged into a fictional world and finds herself the villain.

A Sorceress Comes to Call, T Kingfisher (20 August)

A retelling of The Goose Girl from reliably good fairy tale stalwart Kingfisher.

Buried Deep and Other Stories, Naomi Novik (17 September)

Collection of Novik's short stories.

Swordcrossed, Freya Marske (8 October)

VERY excited to see a new book by talented writer Marske. A man falls in love with the duelist hired for his arranged wedding. MEANWHILE. details of the fantasy world wool industry.

Feast While You Can, Mikaella Clements and Onjuli Datta (29 October)

New to me. Small town queer cave horror.

The Last Hour Between Worlds, Melissa Caruso (19 November)

Multiple reality murder mystery spy vs spy type antics, with lesbians.

[saturnbellfromhell]

MERCURIAL ENERGY

We have dived deep into our two youthful planets Venus and Mars. These two are the daughter and son of our masculine Sun and feminine Moon. But what about Mercury? Where does Mercury belong and to whom does Mercury belong? For some reason I see Mercury as being the same matter which are Venus and Mars made of, but with an interesting twist.

▫️Firstly Mercury is a neutral planet, being neither masculine nor feminine. Secondly Mercury is the only planet in SECT which is neither a benefic nor malefic, so it does not bring good or evil into one's chart. Mercury just exists and by doing so stands out from the other planets that are in close range to the Sun.

In my perspective I imagine this invisible veil between the juvenile and elder planets. The juvenile planets include: Mercury, Venus, Mars and the Moon. These planets are the Sun's family and in this family of 5 we can clearly see how different, but also familiar they all are. All of their energies blend so effortlessly together, learning from one another and becoming great. Together with the ascendant they make up the so called "Big Six" in astrology. Meaning these placements are more personal than the others mentioned.

▫️Mercury is the first planet in our solar system, the burning planet which represents our communication style. Meaning it shows in which ways we get our words across and how we write them out. It is the planet always in search of new possibilities and opinions. A highly intellectual planet helping us reach our potentional to think quickly and rationalize. Mercurial energy can be divided into two signs: one being mutable air- Gemini, and the other being mutable earth-Virgo. These signs are both the homeowners of Mercury. Mercury has chosen them as residents because of their hunger for  new skills and their adaptability to unfamiliar situations and people. They are the listens, talkers, explorers of new information and one's who rely more on their head, than their heart. So both can seem cold or aloof to emotions. I think of these two sister signs as the scientists of the zodiac, always absorbing new information, reading about it, trying their hardest to solve it and enjoying the process. Mutable signs signify the end to an old season, Gemini ends spring and Virgo ends summer. Both of them hold energy of change, with change folllows flexibility. They are the signs which we can say "perfect" everything the cardinals and fixed signs have already done. By doing so they need patience for brainstorming, productivity and finding solutions. But not everything is perfect for these sisters, they can take on too many projects and become overwhelmed very soon with their decisions. But nevertheless, Gemini and Virgo are very detail oriented and restless individuals. But what are the differences between these signs?

▫️Gemini is the first sign of the air signs, which automatically means they are the child of the air bunch. They are indeed witty and open, charismatic and friendly, playful and chatty. They really inbody Mercury at it's finest. They love meeting new people and being in the center of the crowd chatting away their passions and interests. They adore making others laugh as well, they are known to be the class clown or the popular kid. Everybody loves a true Gemini, they constantly bring this wave of freshness to the table. Not very shy by nature and a master at blending in with the crowd. Gemini's flaws are one's related to not having enough patience to finish things. They get carried away with going out, searching new things, shopping, listening to music, reading books, meeting new people and a thousand other hobbies and practices. Because of this they can be a little bit unreliable and impulsive. On the other hand, I've never met a true Gemini (meaning not a lot of earth/water) who is secretive, sorry Gemini but I wouldn't want to disclose a lot of personal things with you being a secretive Capricorn myself! They don't do it out of spite, to be fair. They kind of just forget that information is very important and keep talking away. They can be a little naive and clueless in their forming years with what to say and what not to say! They are an amazing teammate or class partner to have around as well, showing new strategies of both ends. Gemini's are also excellent writers and journalists, with their sharp thoughts and unconeventable style they know how to get an audience hooked on their work. In love they are up for new adventures and crave constatnt intellectual dialogs, without them Gemini's are prone to get bored quickly and find a better and more intersteing mate! So if you can't keep a Gemini, you need somebody more mellow and down to earth...maybe a Virgo?

▫️Virgos in my experience get a bad reputation most of the time. Yes, they like things to be their way, but that's just an earth sign thing. Yes they are very organized and dislike people in their private space and yes they are perfectionists because of this they can become very self conscious of their own work. But not all is bad for this earthly Mercurial goddess. Being an earth sign always means more caution with socializing. Virogo's are much more reserved than their sister Gemini, I mean at the end of the day they are the older sister and with age comes wisdom. They are very pracital and bland, but not bland in a bad way just casual with their demenoir. They seek peace within themselves and a lot of space to create what they adore. If you ever need a power point presentation, essay, schedule befriend a Virgo. If you're prone to messiness and rearranging things, than don't even try befriending a Virgo they will curse the hell out of you. I think the thing I love about Virgo's the most is their loyalty and honesty, it can come across bitchy to some sensitive individuals, but I'm all about being upfront. They are also known to not really commit in a traditional sense, they kinda just move in, put their nicest cup in your cupboard and clean your house and than poof all of a sudden they are living with you. They aren't very vocal in their love language, more of an acts of service type of sign. They adore stability and routine in the relationship, soft chatty nights with a glass of vine and working together to make everything fall in it's place.

◻So the main differences are clearly in the socializing and optimism department. Think of Gemini as golden retriever energy and Virgo as black cat energy. They are opposite in a sense, but at the end of the day are amazing communicators, ambitious hobbyists and intellectual beings.

▫️Gemini is the owner of the 3rd house, also known as the house house of the mind. It encompasses anything that has to do with writing, speaking, communicating, editing, speaking, reading, researching and learning. It also represents our siblings and close neighbour's. So if you by any chance have a planet in the 3rd house it can indicate how you interact with one's close to you. For example if you have the Moon on this house, it means you come off as very emotional to your siblings, relatives or neighbour's. But it also depends in which sign, so if you're Caprricorn Moon is in the 3rd house, you are very distant to those around you, you keep to yourself and like to be the leader of the pack. Very polite in most accasions, straight forward, not very emotional to strangers but very protective over your siblings and relatives. The 3rd house can also show us our dreams, so if you have Neptune in this house it amplifies it! This house is also about development in our childhood, as known you learn from your family, siblings an/or relatives. Sometimes from neighbour's too. They fill our days and make structure in our life. School is also a crucial part of growing up, seeking more knowledge and getting to know oneself around a bunch of kids around us.

▫️ On the other hand, big sister Virgo has the keys to the 6th house. It is firstly the house of health and wellness, exercise and dieting. With this house we can pin point how individuals like to work out, this can mean yoga, pilates, the gym, sports, cardio etc. It also can indicate problems with our health, where it can decline, the more sensitive parts of our body's. For example if chiron is in this house it can mean a lot of health issues with the natives, by doing so this person will fill their life with a lot a information about taking care of their body and by doing so exchange this information with others to help them get/feel better. Other than your health, this house is also the house of daily routines. When and how you organize your day, is sticking to a routine easy or hard for you? Your day-to day job, duties, how we better ourselves and be of service to others. It is also the last personal house, so here we purge our self centered attitude before stepping in the house of partnership (7th house). After the 6th house our lives turn over to others, comprise, transitions, transformation...etc This is also where you find the answers to healing oneself, bettering your life and getting a deeper understanding of your surroundings. If you have planets in the 6th house you better find a way to work with them or you'll be prone to shitty days often.

Let's get into some of mine obersvations with mercurial energy shall we?

▫️Virgo Sun women are so so in love with their partner, but show it in such a cute manner. Not a lot of pda (only if you have prominent fire placements or a fiery Venus). They show their affection in tiny touches on their partner of spouse. They also love to make the bed, put on the show, bring the snacks and make a perfect evening. Their favorite type of unwinding is for sure a book, ambient light and some sweet tea. They also love to discuss what they have been reading lately or the show they've dug into.

▫️Virgo Moons can be very complicated (I see this with all the earth moons, even though Taurus Moon in my perspective is the easiest to have). They have a hard time finding the words how to explain their feelings, which they are not keen to talk about in the first place. But when they do, they can explain their pattern of behavior, but not really emotionally deep. They crave a modest, realistic and honest person by their side. They can also have a bit of ocd. I've met a few Virgo Moons who's mom/dad always forced things to be perfect at home. They can be prone to overanylizing their emotions and coming off distant most of the time.

▫️Mercury in the 6th house can be very nervous and on edge a lot of the time. Even though this is the house whereMercury is at home, these people don't let anything slip threw the cracks. They are amazing in theoretical writing and finding everything they need to write about in a matter of minutes. Amazing with describing things to others. Can be outstanding teachers.

▫️Gemini moons have a humorous take when explaing their emotions. They're the one's to say something sad and than turn it into a joke. They are also prone to becoming chaotic by not understanding how/when to react. They are great sharers of emotions and events, but not the best listeners. Communication, being via phone call or text is their love language, so reply to a Gemini Moon fast.

▫️Mercury in the 3rd house is the "it" placement for a writer, but I think I don't even have to say that...they already know this!

▫️Mercury in the 7th house is an amazing planet to govern this house. It keeps the partnership fresh, simple, full of optimism, great conversation and is never dull. It also helps in work partnerships, since things will be easier to plan together threw good communication.

▫️Mercury in the 9th house can mean you have a talent for learning/speaking other languages!

▫️Gemini Sun's have a good taste in music and they know all about the band/artist, of course. They have to know all about it! I've also met a got of Gemini's who listen to metal, being heavy, death or trash metal. I have no idea if this is a coincidence or not.

▫️I love how cool Gemini risings look like. They always have some fun accessory to show off!

▫️A Virgo stellium can mean you are very prone to isolate until you get your shit together. Their house also looks and feels expensive and sterile. They are the one's to go jogging in 5am, have their smoothies by 6 and than work, have an amazing self care routine and fall asleep on their silk pillows.

▫️Gemini Venuses are very experimental in the bedroom, they do love their partners to be a little bit older and enjoy playing with toys! Also they are very vocal in the bedroom.

▫️Virgo Venuses on the other hand can have a hard time. Since Venus is in detriment/fall in this sign it can be tricky. Virgo Venus individuals need someone steady and secure, someone that will really love them for who they are and make them feel safe. Virgo can be very sensitive so go hug and kiss your Virgo Venus babes, they need it. Don't expect a I love you back from them though, but they will show a lot of love threw their actions rather than words. They do like some ambient light and smooth music to get in the mood.

▫️Gemini Mercury's are really good at dirty talk, go try it out!

▫️Mercury in Sagittarius can be tricky when younger. Every archer is bad in the beginning so they need a lot of practice, in this cause it's with words. Sag Mercuries can have an outburst of words when annoyed, they can say things they don't want to say and not think things threw. They can come off very sarcastic aswell, but they are extremely witty and funny I have to say that.

Xoxo Numa

[jamsmemes]

(     *     INTERSTELLAR PROMPTS   !    

a self indulgent meme based on interstellar (part 2). feel free to change pronouns / details as needed  !

❛ we've got each other. ❜

❛ look at that perfect planet. we're not gonna find another one like her. ❜

❛ is a tiger evil because it rips a gazelle to pieces? ❜

❛ this crew represents the best aspects of humanity. ❜

❛ don't stay up too late. ❜

❛ we can't spare the resources. ❜

❛ i've been waiting a long time to be up here. ❜

❛ you are literally wasting your breath. ❜

❛ why are you whispering? ❜

❛ everything wants us dead. we're just not supposed to be here. ❜

❛ we're explorers, on the greatest ocean of all. ❜

❛ so we've got a pretty good idea what we're gonna find on the other side? ❜

❛ say it, don't spray it. ❜

❛ who put it here? who do we thank? ❜

❛ any trick to this? ❜

❛ the others made it, right? ❜

❛ thanks for the confidence boost. ❜

❛ they won't help you in here. ❜

❛ all we can do is record and observe. ❜

❛ that's easy for you to say. ❜

❛ you don't have anyone back on earth waiting for you, do you? ❜

❛ you have no idea what's easy for me. ❜

❛ going down there is going to cost us. ❜

❛ you don't find that every day. ❜

❛ no time for monkey business down there. ❜

❛ don't worry, i wouldn't leave you behind. ❜

❛ a literal heart of darkness... ❜

❛ don't say much, do you? ❜

❛ the answer's there, just no way to see it. ❜

❛ wanna get in fast, don't we? ❜

❛ hands where i can see them! ❜

❛ what're you waiting for? go! ❜

❛ those aren't mountains... they're waves. ❜

❛ you don't have time! ❜

❛ get back here! now! ❜

❛ i told you to leave me. ❜

❛ difference is, only one of us was thinking about the mission. ❜

❛ i was trying to do the right thing! ❜

❛ whats this gonna cost us? ❜

❛ we're not prepared for this. ❜

❛ you're a bunch of eggheads with the survival skills of a boy-scout troop. ❜

❛ we're stuck here till there won't be anyone left on earth to save. ❜

❛ don't just shake your head at me! ❜

❛ time is relative — it can stretch and it can squeeze — but it can't run backwards. ❜

❛ could they be talking to us from the future? ❜

❛ i'm sorry. i screwed up. ❜

❛ i wasn't much of a parent, but i understood the most important thing — let your kids feel safe. ❜

❛ i've waited years. ❜

❛ i thought i was prepared. ❜

❛ there's nothing here for us. ❜

❛ why didn't you sleep? ❜

❛ i stopped believing you were coming back. ❜

❛ something seems wrong about dreaming your life away. ❜

❛ we've been receiving, but nothing gets out. ❜

❛ just start at the beginning. ❜

❛ i've got a surprise for you. ❜

❛ you're not listening to this. i know that. ❜

❛ you're gone. you're never coming back. and i've known that for a long time. ❜

❛ it'd be a real good time for you to come back. ❜

❛ i didn't mean to intrude. ❜

❛ i've never seen you in here before. ❜

❛ i've never been in here before. ❜

❛ i just had something i wanted to get out. ❜

❛ i know they're still out there. ❜

❛ i'm not afraid of death. i'm afraid of time. ❜

❛ are you calling my life's work nonsense? ❜

❛ love isn't something we invented — it's observable, powerful. why shouldn't it mean something? ❜

❛ love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. maybe we should trust that, even if we can’t yet understand it. ❜

❛ if you're wrong, you'll have a very personal decision to make. ❜

❛ you might have to decide between seeing your children again and the future of the human race. ❜

❛ all these years... all these people counted on me. i let you all down. ❜

❛ i'll finish what you started. ❜

❛ you left us here. to die. ❜

❛ pray you never learn just how good it can be to see another face. ❜

❛ you have literally raised me from the dead. ❜

❛ with our situation, there's not much hope of any other rescue. ❜

❛ tell us about your world. ❜

❛ some things aren't meant to be known. ❜

❛ we can care deeply, selflessly for people we know, but our empathy rarely extends beyond our line of sight. ❜

❛ we are the future. ❜

❛ i'm still trying to solve this. ❜

❛ you'd do this for us? ❜

❛ a trip into the unknown requires improvisation. ❜

❛ at the very moment of death, your mind pushes a little harder to survive. ❜

❛ none of this turned out the way it was supposed to. ❜

❛ i'm sorry — i can't let you leave. ❜

❛ you fucking coward. ❜

❛ you're gonna save the human race? really? how? ❜

❛ take your stuff and go. ❜

❛ don't — you'll kill us both. ❜

❛ please don't judge me — you were never tested like i was. ❜

❛ that survival instinct — that's what drove me. ❜

❛ you're feeling it, aren't you? ❜

❛ i'm sorry, i can't watch you go through this — i thought i could. ❜

❛ i'm still here. i'm here for you. ❜

❛ i'm sorry. we should've followed your instincts. ❜

❛ this is no time for caution. ❜

❛ there's good news and bad news. ❜

❛ the only way humans have ever figured out of getting somewhere is to leave something behind. ❜

❛ you have to leave something behind. ❜

❛ we don't have much time! ❜

❛ you goddamn fool. ❜

❛ everybody on earth is going to die! ❜

❛ take it slow. remember you're no spring chicken anymore. ❜

❛ you were extremely lucky. ❜

❛ nobody believed me, but i knew you'd come back. ❜

[anxiously-sidequesting]

I swear I'm not trying to villainize Ambrose or woobify Malorn but I really like the idea that Ambrose is secretly suspicious and bias against Malorn because of what happened with Malistaire

Like I have a headcanon that Ambrose sends the Young Wizard to 'keep an eye' on Malorn because sending adults like Diego or another professor would be too obvious. Ambrose thinks it's perfect to have a student of Ravenwood and a child to hang around Malorn, because who would suspect a student at school? Maybe Ambrose says it's for 'extra Death magic lessons' or something

Also the perfect chance for Malorn and the Wizard to bond. Both realize that they're both just kids with unrealistic expectations put on them by all the adults in their life (it differs of course, with Malorn being treated with suspicion and the Wizard being treated with awe and reverence) and just kind of support each other when it gets to be too much.

None of this is in canon btw this is strictly just having fun with headcanon of course but I think it really works well because:

1. Ambrose is an irresponsible adult. He means well, but the game shows that he takes extreme and rash actions against any threat and does whatever it takes to get rid of the problem, not necessarily solve the problem. This headcanon highlights that trait of his personality perfectly

2. Gives more insight to Malorn's life and experiences, also adds more to his character other than the Death Professor at Ravenwood. It gives Malorn an actual struggle and arc in the series and gives an inside perspective of how tough it should actually be in his situation (betrayed by his professor, forced into a higher position, etc.)

3. Actual interactions between Malorn and the Wizard!!! A positive relationship with any NPC, especially one from Wizard City and actually their age, other than the adults that we meet in each world would be absolutely fantastic and I'm a sucker for "two or more characters against the world" trope

4. Also highlights the Wizard's struggles as being "The Chosen One." Like we're actually just God at this point and beyond seeing a planet and its people die out in a violent death, an actual war where disease and violence is rampant, a large cult intent on yours and the universe's destruction, and actual murder attempts by Every Bad Guy Ever, imagine the pressure put onto them by the Good Guys. Ambrose and Diego and the Council of Light and Grandmother Raven and Bartleby (who are basically the equivalent of God) all just saying "You are the only one who can save us" 80 times a week, like who is our support system. Where the fuck is our therapy. Malorn would be the perfect candidate because I think out of everyone (other than Mellori and the Bat) Malorn would understand the best

Sorry girls no I won't be quiet about Malorn ever. Or Ambrose because it's such wasted potential and imo a lot better than canon's "Gretta Darkkettle was secretly evil this entire time" with no prior foreshadowing

[outsidereveries]

May you do a reading on how Ricky(Zerobaseone member) and Ma Jing Xiang(eliminated Boys Planet contestant) feel/think about each other? They seemed to get along at first(both being from Shanghai and 2004 liners/same age friends), but there was an incident in the show where they had a conflict/argument/fight and they both ended up getting evil edited. May you also read their feelings/thoughts on that and their thoughts/feelings on how Mnet treated the two of them as well(South Korean survival shows’s xenophobia/sinophobia and questionable treatment of Chinese contestants/trainees)? Unfortunately, their individual fandoms now hate each other, since the edits ended up bringing Jing Xiang and his reputation/image down, while Ricky’s popularity and ranking only continued to go up and rise despite the edits. May you also check the status of their relationship/friendship or how it was like between the two of them when they were together? I personally think looking back that they genuinely had clashing/opposing personalities and ideals, but that’s just me…

[Ricky]

feelings on Jingxiang: king of wands • five of cups rx

— ricky really appreciates his friend very much. i see though that they had sort of quarrel that is already solved, so despite their differences, ricky’s feelings are positive.

thoughts on Jingxiang: two of cups, nine of wands • queen of cups

his thoughts however are interesting. his thoughts are great about jingxiang, ricky thinks he match with jingxiang really well and appreciate his wisdom for some reason.

feelings on mnet evil editing him: eight of wands rx • wheel of fortune

his feelings about it aren’t the best. ricky thinks this type of editing is too rushed, inappropriate even. ricky thought he probably won’t debut at some point. it’s just.. like a complex?

thoughts on mnet evil editing him: king of wands • five of cups rx

his thoughts are neutral at its best? i feel he got over this at this point and nowadays ricky thinks it got actually beneficial.

feelings about mnet’s treatment: page of pentacles • five of swords rx

ricky would like to know it better. like this meme “please tell me more🥺🥺🥺”

[Jingxiang]

feelings on Ricky: eight of cups • nine of pentacles

uh-huuuuuh. is he still building them? is jingxiang trying to know his real intentions? like overthinking for real

thoughts on Ricky: three of wands rx, the star rx, two of wands, the lovers rx • death

uh-huuuuuuh. this is more confusing. so they are just different, huh? their personalities actually don’t match.. at all.

how he thinks them two have different personalities while ricky is positive about jingxiang?? does ricky even know ????

feelings on mnet evil editing him: ace of pentacles, the lovers rx • two of wands rx

honestly he criticises them, i believe if he was in their places he’d do better.

thoughts on mnet evil editing him: two of swords rx, the tower • strength

shocking for sure, i feel despite of his strong mental health, he is overwhelmed of it.

feelings about mnet’s treatment: page of wands • seven of cups

he tries to be positive tbh. however, he might’ve expected this at this point.

[their friendship bond]

bond on Boys Planet: seven of pentacles • seven of wands

quite good, actually. i think they were getting along well despite of some of their differences.

current bond: king of pentacles, eight of pentacles • six of swords

i feel it’s the same like back then but i think they don’t talk that much.

sorry for being late

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

That was a serious ask. I really do want a Harry Potter book ban. You didn’t hurt my feelings, I’m agreeing with you and I really think more should be done to destroy this menace

Also I was serious about wanting JKR dead. I fantasize about her death and all the ways it could happen. Please believe me. I’ve never even read the books.

Same anon, honestly I just want people not to suffer anymore and if a book ban and that tonsil stone of a human dying is the way to do it, I wish nothing more. Just please believe that I’m not a troll. I just wish more could be done and that children could be safe from accidentally consuming TERF media. That’s why I want it banned. I could give less of a shit about adults still clinging to their stupid nostalgia but these books are being ACTIVELY SOLD IN STORES. I’m so scared, so fucking scared.

Also, I want you to be happy. I just want everyone to be happy, please have a wonderful day/night and may all your problems go away, i’m sorry, you deserve so much happiness…

Please believe me. I want nothing more than for all marginalized people to be happy and for bigots to suffer. It wasn’t bait. I just know you think the same and I want other people to think the same. I just want us to go even HARDER when it comes to punishing those who are wronging us and to protect the innocent children. I want it so much I’m killing my mental health sending these asks which is why I’m leaving right now. Please have a wonderful day where all your problems get solved i’m sorry,,

Alright I'm going to take this in good faith now because you're clearly distressed, regardless of your intentions or how much I believe them.

Anon, listen: Get help.

This is not a joke nor a patronizing request nor me dismissing you. I am 100% fully serious that no matter what's going on in your head right now, it's clearly hurting you and upsetting you and it's not healthy. I would honestly be relieved if you were a troll because if you're not, this is an indication that you're in actual mental distress. Please log off, and again, not saying this in a sarcastic way, but like, go outside and sit on a bench in a park and just look at some birds or something.

JKR and other evils of the world won't croak just becuase you're on here sending a rando distressed anonymous mail. All that will happen is that you're gonna feel worse, because you're expending so much energy and nothing's happening, nothing's changing, but why is nothing changing if I'm trying to hard?

But I can't help you. I can't kill JKR for you. I can't protect anyone, either. All I can do right now is express my frustration, refuse to partake, and demand that people do better. That's all any of us can do. But we crucially need to support each other, and take care of each other, those of us who are hurting and afraid right now. If we have nobody, then we need to take care of ourselves. That's our duty and our goal, to live our best lives and to survive, because folding and dying is exactly what those who want us gone are hoping for.

So. Log off. Look at some trees. Pet a dog. Donate money somewhere. Feel present in this world and that your existence matters. The world sucks but your life doesn't always have to. And since you're clearly looking for some sort of validation, no matter where it comes from, here it is: Yes, I see you. I know you exist, and that you're out there, and we're both here at the same time on this planet earth. We are here together even if we are apart. We have had this interaction now. May you have many more with others whose company you enjoy.

Take care.

[madmarkinabox]

Without support of the Sanctuary, Skulduggery and Valkyrie must protect cocky Teleporter Fletcher Renn from being part of a ritual to-

[Frantic whispering]

What?

[More frantic whispering]

Oh, the Doctor Who one. Right, sorry.

Season 4

The Faceless Ones

Landing on a runway at Gatwick Airport in 1966, the Doctor and friends are forced to split up, Polly witnessing a murder shortly after. She is then kidnapped, only to reappear moments later with no memory of who she is. Just what are Chameleon Tours up to? WHAT are they? And where have their passengers disappeared to?

A fairly unique one here, as most of the story's length is given over to solving mysteries; first murder, then disappearances. It's really laced with a good hearty dose of paranoia. Who do you trust in these sort of situations? And the behaviour of the Chameleons, for want of an actual alien species name, is another seed sown for when we'll eventually see the Sontarans, keeping their victims in a sort of stasis while the aliens take on the victims' forms and memories electronically, and maintain the ruse via wrist-mounted Wiimotes (come on, just look at them!) on both the original and doppelganger. It even calls to mind Invasion of the Body Snatchers which came out 11 years earlier.

So these are interesting ideas, but the whole thing is very slow and plodding. I do like how the Chameleons are in a desperate state following a disaster on their planet and trying to assimilate themselves onto a new world, even if they're going about it the wrong way and have this air of snobbery about them regarding humanity. It resonates with our world now in ways I wouldn't have expected, with that sense of paranoia, especially in this age of conspiracy theories. Great replacement theory, lizard people in power, us vs them, yadda yadda yadda. Again, Body Snatchers. And mythology-wise, since Polly and Ben initially started their adventures with the First Doctor on this date, London certainly had a busy few days with all this going on in addition to WOTAN's uprising. I also appreciate the animators' little in-joke of the Magpie Electronics ad in the airport, especially in a story called The Faceless Ones. But I digress... This story? It's OK. It's just so slow-moving. Don't know if I'd call it essential unless you really want to see Polly and Ben's departure. Just OK.

Next time: The Evil of the Daleks!

[diatribeofamadman]

#29

The consumerism conundrum...

We all have the older parent that keeps things past their expiration or demands you don't throw away something because it has a future use. I posit to us all that they are correct and it is our drive for consumption that is wrong. Except of course regarding the expired food.

I love new products. I love the smell of freshly packaged plastic. I love the emerging technologies and getting to explore them in actuality. I don't enjoy lies. And for the most part, regarding material things, they are lies. We have lost site of quality engineering and manufacturing. We have lost sight of quality possessions. We have lost sight of the importance and benefit of something lasting for many generations. Not only for the significance of the craftsmanship involved, but the reduction of the overall waste we create as a cockroach of a biped...

My greatest hope would be a world where quality was valued over quantity and profit.

(digression)

Talk about a left turn, to the climate and Earth activists currently gluing their hands to priceless works of art. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. As an artist, fuck you. If you want to make a difference, glue your fucking hands to congress's doorstep. Or the parliament if you're in the UK. I have 100,000 other options I would come up with for you other than ruining priceless works of art.

(end digression)

There's a couple in San Diego trying a limited impact retail store. These are the kinds of initiatives we really need to support and embrace. I wish more of our medical professionals would encourage and invest financially in these kinds of establishments. Knowing that not only does locally sourced produce benefit the economy and environment, it also helps people consume produce that does not have to be treated with chemicals or gases in order to arrive to the consumer in a pristine appearing format. Lies. Digressing again...

Ultimately we need to decide what is and is not a necessary evil. And what we are and are not willing to sacrifice for the continued sustainable existence of our species on this planet. As we continue to advance technologically certain problems will solve themselves. For instance, I could set up a industrial building in Moscow to grow strawberries and have them year-round. Or, maybe I'm too drunk and I need to stop talking now. You would be so fucking jealous Hemingway. And I'm so glad I didn't hear all the bullshit that went off in your mind. And I'm sorry for any poor bastard that has to hear mine.

[phoenixyfriend]

Rey Gives No F*cks About the Grandfather Paradox

Okay so since nobody’s suggested a fic under these terms, I ended up expanding on this post on discord and things snowballed. We kept to the basics of the entire plot revolving around Rey really hating her grandad and leveraging her blood relation to not be unalived about it.

With contributions by @atagotiak​, @dracothulhu​, @thepallaspalace​, and several others. The title comes from @gelpenss​.

The basic thing I absolutely need is this: Rey gets thrown back to the middle of the clone wars, and the subsequent plot leans in really heavily on her being, genetically-via-clone-dad, the daughter of the guy running the entire galaxy.

Nobody knows what to do with her.

The timing is mid-TCW for the past (because I want Ahsoka there) and vaguely between Episodes 8 and 9 because I... never watched E9 and don’t want to worry about the timeline. The only things that matter is that Luke is dead (he can die as he did in canon) and that Rey knows she’s Palp’s granddaughter (not the way she does in canon).

We'll say Luke found out from Anakin's panicked force-ghost and just went "well, fuck, okay, I should tell her this before she ends up in a situation like mine and finds out mid-battle or something."

Luke, prior to time-travel: Okay, so, now that I'm dead I know some things I didn't before. Like who your parents were. In the interest of full disclosure because I was in a very similar situation and I don't want you learning the way I did, I'm just going to come right out and say that your father was a clone was Sheev Palpatine. Rey: ... Luke: Are you okay? Rey: I don't know who that is.

(She grew up on Jakku, the history education was a little subpar.)

Setting The Scene

Imagine Rey showing up during or immediately before the clone wars. There’s this phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater who tells you that if you ran a paternity test, it would probably pop up the Chancellor. She may or may not bring up cloning. She accuses said Chancellor of being a Sith Lord.

Your other phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater, who may not be a teenager anymore but only barely, is very offended by this because Palpatine’s a Very Nice Old Grandfather Figure, but also he’s a little full of side-eye because if the blood test comes back as proof, then Palpatine had a kid and didn’t even know about them, or lied to Anakin, and that’s! Bad! Family’s important!!!

Palpatine hears about this daughter he apparently? Has? And is very confused because the timing doesn’t match up with ANYTHING he was doing, so the kid isn’t natural, and he says as much. (There is an explanation! It’s not a correct explanation, but he does come up with one.)

Finn and Poe and BB-8 all get dragged along because why not have the gang there? Nobody that’s already born, because [handwave] conservation of souls or something, IDK, point is the only person dragged along that’s even remotely close to already existing is Luke’s Force Ghost, who mostly hangs around begging Rey to be less impulsive. Finn is good because he is a nice polite boy, but for actual useful information they need Poe. The unfortunate situation is that the three do not land together. They land at the same time, in completely different corners of the galaxy. This means that nobody is there to curb Rey being her most impulsive self.

Time travel Rey knows two things. Luke’s dad ends up evil. Palpatine has always been evil.

She can solve one of these problems by killing the other, yes?

Rey: Ready to Rumble

See, the initial idea was this: Rey tried to break into the senate to kill Palpatine, got arrested, and then used the "he's biologically my father" card to get out of jail free. (Force Ghost Luke follows her like “please take five seconds to think this through.”)

But.

But.

It would be very, very, very funny if The Force just dumps her in a flash of light in the senate building and she just attacks Gramps on sight. Just a shouted "YOU!" and no-hesitation attempted murder.

Palpatine has no idea what's going on.

Rey took maybe two seconds to get identity confirmation and then started swinging.

[Image Description: An individual in a green metal helmet with an eye slit, holding a pistol. In the upper left, upper right, and lower middle are the phrases “I do not know who I am...” “I don’t know why I’m here” and “All I know is that I must kill.” End description.]

Of course, she gets arrested. There are Master Jedi in the Senate. There are Clone Troopers. Palpatine isn’t the weak old man he pretends to be. Of course she’s stopped.

But she isn’t executed in time for Palpatine to stop her from ruining his entire reputation.

Immediately after Rey fails to kill her Shitty Granddad, Luke's ghost shows up and begs her to not talk about the Sith thing because it will completely undermine everything she's trying to do. Pass off the attempted murder as something else!

Rey, panicking: "that fucker left me on a desert planet for 10 years!" "You owe me 19 years of child support you son of a Hutt!"

The Jedi have to do the investigation, because the girl showed up with a laser sword, and the conversation is, uh... interesting. (“Where did you get that lightsaber?” “I got it from a mysterious old pirate lady I never met before. I don't know, I was being shown around by a smuggler and a Wookie.”)

Interviewer: Why did you try to assassinate the Chancellor? Luke: Say it wasn't assassination. Rey: It wasn't assassination. Int: You weren't trying to kill him? Luke: Assassination has to be politically motivated. Rey: This was, um... not political. Assassination is political, right? Int: You mean this was personally motivated? Rey: Yes. Int: I see. What personal motivation? Luke: Jakku! Rey: He's my grandfather. Int: ... Rey: Possibly father. Nobody was very clear on that. Int: ... Luke: Tell them to run a paternity test. Rey: Oh hey, a blood test would tell us which, right? Int: ............ Rey: I spent ten years as an orphaned scrapdealer on Jakku. He's my father. I'm kind of a little angry. Int: ........... Luke: Good job, kid. You bought yourself some time. Int: I'm going to get a medic to see about that parternity test.

Obviously, it comes back positive. Congratulations, Sheev, you’re the father.

Rey comes with a ready-made built-in excuse for hating Palpatine that nobody can question or fault her for!

Rey, pouring Truth into the Force: I didn't even know I was related to the Chancellor until a few months ago, but it's his fault I grew up the way I did, and he should take some responsibility!

The entire thing is mostly kept hush hush but someone leaks it to the press and Palpatine's ratings tank.

"Chancellor, I think we'll need to waive family visitation until she wants you a little less dead." "I would like to find out why she wants me dead, and indeed, where she came from." "...sir, for your own safety--"

Who would win? A master plan years in the making spanning decades of manipulating and work? or One (1) paternity test

"Okay, so, Rey Palpat--" "Ew, no, I don't want his name." "You--okay. Sure, we can understand that. Is there a name you would prefer to put on the paperwork?" Rey, who would have gone by Skywalker in honor of Luke but can't do that when Anakin is right there and all: "Can I think about it?"

Rey: I don't know what I want my last name to be but I know I don't want his, and most of the people I’d want a name from have famous families like you... Luke's ghost, pointing out the Literal Nobody that she cares about a lot: How about Solo? Rey: ...Solo, then.

(A few months later she runs into Poe again and he offers for Finn and Rey to both take his name because honestly they need SOMETHING but at that point she’s already decided on Smuggler Dad.)

Backtrack a bit. We’ve got a bigger cast.

They all arrive separately. Poe, for one, does better than Rey, who is aiming for a murder, but not quite as well as Finn, who is currently being adopted and hidden like a secret cat by a bunch of Alpha Clones on Kamino. He vibes with the names-or-numbers thing. He doesn’t necessarily tell them where and when he’s from, but he’s very sweet and a great liar and they adopt him wholesale anyway.

The Finn situation is just... "Buir Ti, we need you to hide this man, we've decided he's our little brother but if Nala Se finds out she'll make him leave."

Of course, this leads into Shaak Ti teaching Finn how to Jedi.

Maybe consider Finn needing to almost be tricked into learning Jedi things because he willfully forgets it could apply to him. Finn does not like to think of himself as special, which is super valid, but frustrating for Shaak Ti when it comes to, you know, getting him to acquire knowledge. Finn's training at some point is "here, levitate objects with the Force to entertain the tubies." It’s a lot easier to convince him to practice when it involves the babies.

(Everyone on Kamino looked at Finn and went “oh I love him I’m keeping him and teaching him things.”)

(He’s just very lovable.)

Poe, meanwhile, buys the trust of Anakin Skywalker via R2D2 declaring BB-8 the absolute most baby of droids. R2D2 met BB-8 three hours ago but.

"Hey Obi-Wan this is Poe I met him like five days ago but R2D2 says he checks out because his droid is a baby." "That's nice, Anakin, did you know the Chancellor has a daughter who tried to assassinate him in broad daylight yesterday? Because guess who had to stop the Chancellor from getting assassinated by his daughter in broad daylight yesterday."

A summary so far:

Finn, on Kamino: Hey, um, I don't know where this is, but it's not where I was a few minutes ago. Do you think you could get me a comm? What's your name? Poe, on [dice roll] Denon: Oh, hey, you're General Skywalker? Nice to meet you, I'm so sorry about my droid, she's a little excitable and thought your R2 unit looked like a friend of hers-- Rey, on Coruscant: DIE, GRANDFATHER

Finn: [Peacefully vibing on Kamino, unaware of the chaos and bonding with the clones] Poe: [Trying to explain how he knows someone who tried to kill the chancellor and defend Rey] Rey: [Arrested for trying to kill the chancellor]

Just... just...

Anakin: Some guy ended up lost on base yesterday with his droid, how’s your day going? Obi-Wan: I had to stop someone who claims to be the chancellors daughter from murdering the chancellor after she seemingly blinked into existence in the Senate building. Poe: 😐

(Poe: Oh, so that's where Chaos^2 went.)

Poe: In her defense, she is his... well we don't know if she's his daughter or granddaughter, but she's definitely related to him, and she definitely grew up in a shitty situation that was his fault, so...

(Poe is trying very hard to explain this and not get arrested on the military base.)

As you’ve probably guessed, what's especially funny about all of this for me is the fact that Palpatine is fully aware that this girl shouldn't exist, but can't find a single piece of evidence about where she came from. He didn't start any experiments that could result in a female child, and he didn't have sex in that period of time, so where the hell--

Rey spends so much time in jail... BUT they do eventually assign her a Jedi Master. Possibly before she actually proves her evil grandfather is in fact evil. Most votes went to either Plo Koon or Obi-Wan. Plo, because he’s dad-shaped, and Obi...

"Obi-Wan, you already raised one feral desert child with implausible amounts of power, you handle this." Rey in return is very "Sweet, you vaguely remind me of Master Luke," and nobody knows who the hell she's talking about. Obi-Wan is NOT on board with this plan, she'd really be better off with Plo or like........ Mace.

Reunion Tour

What I need out of this is the eventual Finn and Rey reunion scene that is just excited screaming while someone in the background explains to Shaak Ti that yes this is apparently Palpatine's terrifyingly force-sensitive daughter who hates him.

(Finn senses Rey’s approach and just. Gathers the everyone to wait. He’s just :D REY MY FRIEND REY GUYS MY FRIEND REY IS COMING.)

Anakin shows up with Poe--just a guy who signed on to the military, no big deal--and then Poe and Rey are EXCITED and everyone's just like "Cool, how do you know this literal terrorist child?" And Poe has to scramble and "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh she saved my droid from a scrapheap once and BB-8 is basically my child so I owe her one."

Rey knows that Anakin ends up evil so she’s maybe not actively hostile but definitely very “I’m watching you.” That said, she vibes with him on a lot of things that he maybe doesn’t actively notice.

Rey picks up a snake, snaps off the head for venom avoidance, and starts biting off chunks. Obi-Wan's reaction: [undisguised horror] Anakin and Ahsoka: Ooh, where'd you find that? (Obi-Wan: And now I’m up to three feral children.)

What Does Palpatine Even Do?

OBVIOUSLY at a certain point, Palpatine is just phoning up every ally he has to figure out who broke protocol to synthesize a daughter for him.

So of course, Palpatine blame Plagueis.

She'd have been born five or so years before Naboo, just a few years younger than Anakin. It's such an EASY theory to build a conspiracy around. It is ENTIRELY WRONG, but it’s plausible! And anyone who might have been involved to say otherwise is probably dead!

A random bio-kid shows up you can’t possibly have contributed genes to? Maybe it’s the evil bio spark that did it.

Palpatine tries to placate her with the ‘my genes were stolen for an experiment and I didn’t know’ thing. It doesn’t work because her actual main complaint is he’s evil in her future but he tries.

It'd be a struggle to even get access to her, because of the aforementioned “maybe don’t try to talk to the daughter(?) that hates you” thing, but you know who Palpatine does have access to? The Chosen One.

Rey kind of decides on her favorites early on (she gravitates to Dad Energy and Sad Old Men so Plo and Obi-Wan are on her list, and that means decent time around Anakin and Ahsoka). It's really easy to talk Anakin into helping to some degree because "he'd like to connect to a daughter he never knew" and "a child of her power on a planet like that, you'd know her struggle, my dear boy" and so on. Anakin tries to connect! He tries to play up Sheev’s kind political work and how it can’t have really been his fault! It doesn’t work. Rey does not believe a word of it. Mostly she doesn’t even seem to hear him.

Rey's just like "...oh right, you're the melted mask that Kylo Ren was always ranting about," which means absolutely NOTHING to Anakin, but he mentions it to Palps, who loses his goddamn mind trying to figure out what she's talking about, because it also means absolutely nothing to him.

Here’s the thing: Rey’s already decided that Obi-Wan is cool, because Luke said so, and Plo Koon is dad-shaped, and she also gravitates towards earnest kindness in general, like she made friends with Finn real quick, so Ahsoka? Already getting along great.

She doesn’t dislike Anakin, really, he isn’t evil yet, he’s just... meh. She’s a little suspicious and she likes him less than the others but... Anakin.

Rey, to Anakin: You are my least favorite. Anakin, to Palpatine: YOUR DAUGHTER HATES ME???

And he goes from “she’s a lil standoffish” to “she doesn’t like me” to “she hates me” as is normal for Anakin.

It’s just an escalation of this one time Palpatine wants Anakin to not have rifts and trust issues with a person, at least not until later, because he needs information.

Meanwhile, that very moment, Rey is just like "huh, nobody here is listening to me about how make a sixth-hand carburetor work, where's Luke's dad?"

Anakin is venting to Palpatine about how hard it is to talk to Rey, and she's over in the Temple just like "Hey, that guy was useful last time, I should ask him," but also she only ever thinks of him as Luke's Dad.

(At one point, Obi-Wan is having a bit of a break down, and then Anakin starts having a breakdown about that, meanwhile the clones are (badly) trying to hide Finn behind their backs, Rey is watching Ahsoka practice and being like "I want two lightsabers," and Poe is trying to keep R2 from stealing BB-8 and Force Ghost Luke is just face palming in the background.)

(Rey deserved a saber staff, maybe one that can detach and turn into a jar’kai set. Possibly a pike. Mostly I just wish she got more chances to whack things with a big stick.)

[shit-scfandom-did]

so i have a few questions

1)i cannot understand how you ship k*ramel. their relationship was FILLED with toxicity. from mon-el failing over and over again to listen to what kara had to say to him basically telling her to give up being kara danvers. convincing her that "being supergirl and having you is enough” was absolutely horrible. karamel had their moments but overall it was toxic. then in s3 mon el was married and the whole point of season 3 was allowing them to move on. accepting the toxicity from s2 and pushing past that romanticized time. mon el was a better person by 3b but he was still married. even if mon el and imra did break up in the finale there’s no future for karamel. even during 5x13 kara went to ask on advice about lena. and when winn came to visit from the future not a word about him. she’s moved on and it just wouldn’t make sense for kara to end up with him.

2) how can you hate lena so so so much?? it’s been said over and over again that all she’s ever wanted to do is good. though she’s designed to be this morally grey character. she has FLAWS but that’s what makes her so good. she’s a victim of abuse and you can see her struggle with that especially in seasons 4 and 5. in 5 she definitely goes down a questionable path but how can you expect her not too? after being emotionally abused by her brother, betrayed by her family, andrea (this did happen before kara), and then eve. finding out that kara and EVERYONE she loves has betrayed her as well. I mean how could you not go mad?? and even when she “went mad” she was trying to rid humanity of PAIN. something she later realized was a necessary part of life. her hurt blinded her from reality and lex’s manipulation pushed her down further. she’s been hurt and broken so many times and while that’s not an excuse for what she’s done you have no sympathy for her and that I find appalling. lena has realized what she’s done is wrong, that she’s made mistakes, what she did to kara, and she will have to live with that isn’t that punishment enough? she’s apologized and is trying to make up for everything she’s done by saving the world (again). your unnecessary hate towards her infuriates me. cant you take a step back and see the whole picture?

3) why DONT you ship supercorp or accept the queerbaiting? (watch this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C2w2GBXd_Pg) They are the core relationship of the show while the danvers sisters are the heart. they’ve gone through so so much together and practically dated in early season 2. they love each other it’s just oh so apparent. i like to believe one of the reasons lena reacted so strongly in s5 is because she was in love with kara and she couldn’t handle the person she was in love with lying to her. and kara flew around the world to get lena’s favorite food!! if that’s not romantic idk what is. I feel like you’ve developed such a clouded view of supercorp that you need to take a step back and understand what lena is the love of kara’s life.

wow what a long message. im not here to hate. im here to inform & undertand. i get it. karamel had their moments and even MY perception of them might be a little cloudy. im not going to hate you for liking them. hell I even shipped them for a little! my brother thinks 3b mon el and kara would’ve been perfect but he understands that supercorp is just where the show is leading and he wants them to be endgame. but what I will hate is your hate. what’s the point of all this? this thread, this account is going to do NOTHING. so why bother? I debated sending this and I hope I’m not too harsh at times but I really wanna see what you say. I hope you can open your eyes to lena and supercorp. maybe even become a supercorp shipper yourself!

- thanks and supercorp endgame 💙❤️

First of all, if you want to discuss ships in the future send this type of anons to facepalming-since-chernobyl, this blog is not for this, but for gathering receipts.

1.I just ship it, I don’t get why you have to understand it. It’s shipping. But if you insist:

No, it was not filled with toxicity. Count me when he failed to listen to her when they were in a relationship. Secondly, he is not a dog, he has his brain, he is his own person. People don’t always do what others asked them to do. It’s not slavery.

He has NEVER said to her to give up being Kara Danvers. How did he exactly convince her? How can you read the scene that he convinced her that being supergirl and having him is erasing Kara Danvers? In this scene he supports anything SHE WANTS to do. Also, Kara Danvers doesn’t equal Kara being a reporter in CatCo. On that moment she had her blog. She change people’s live with it like a real reporter. She took the risk and met consequences of her actions aka being fired by Snapper. Also, remind me who told her to create a blog? With your logic Lena was erasing Kara Danvers too.

Friendly reminder that he was forced to the marriage to keep peace. Also, friendly reminder Imra and the Legion out him in this situation without telling him about her plans. She and Brainiac put him there, knowing exactly how much he loved Kara and how much she meant to him. Imra knew that, that’s why she asked him to stay and solve his feelings. She said if he had come back, she would have known he had no doubts. But he wanted to stay, that’s why they broke up. He came back because once again he sacrificed himself for the greater good, like a real hero. Maybe watch the Argo eps because they clearly show that no, it was no about moving on.

It was not accepting about so called toxicity. First of all, she already forgave him that he lied. Secondly, all of she was screaming in that scene, when she was infected with M’rynn’s powers, happened before they got together and it was already approached in the musical ep. Aka, this scene had no point.

There is no future for karamel because you say so?

Kara went to asked him, because she truly believed and trusted him and his judgment. And yes, she asked about Lena and what did he said? That Kara deserved the same compassion she gives others, something Lena never gave her. And sorry, I know all scs scream the 100 ep was about sc, but it was about Kara fully realizing she is not responsible for Lena’s horrible choices. That’s it. And friendly reminder she called her a villain in the last scene. Also, the ep showed than no matter what, Lena always ends screwing something, because she has too big ego, always knows better, doesn’t stand criticism and doesn’t trust anyone.

It doesn’t make sense for you. Suit yourself.

2.Her fans made me hate her :) Thanks to them and how they excuse her every horrible action, how they treat her as a victim, while she abuse everyone etc. I started to watch her more carefully. And well, she is a horrible, white, privileged capitalist, who plays god, judge, jury, has mommy issues and acts like typical Luthor while crying she is not one, while still using Luthors money and resources.

Yeah, many people want to make good and end doing evil things. Common people pay for their sins, she has never. Since allowing hostile Daxamite army to invade the Earth (also, her portal affected the other aliens who destroyed the NC), producing a device that could recofnize aliens without their consent (and it was used by Children of Liberty,)producing and lying about Kryptonite, trying to make people superpowered without any supervision, killing Adam during illegal experiment, supporting openly alienphobic president and in a way Agent Liberty, killing Lex and then blaming Kara and finally manipulating Kara for months, lying, gaslighting, yelling, making her steal Lex journal, trying to lobotomize her and tortured with kryptonite, hurting every way possible, physically and mentally. Working with mass murderer, enslaving 3 people (kidnapping Eve, without her consent putting AI into her mind, basically RAPING her brain and making her a puppet in her own body; enslaving end experimenting on Malefic and Russel – threatening to kill him to steal Andrea’s necklace) – none of it are flaws. It was horrible abuse and violating every human right and the fact some people excuse it is disgusting.

First of all, being victim of abuse doesn’t give you the rights to HURT other people. The fact I have to explain pains me. Secondly, what abuse exactly? Lillian didn’t love her? Lex kidnapped her? Said he was going to kill her? You know what? Winn HAD HORRIBLE past and he didn’t turn into a murderer. Mon-El was abused by his mother and never tortured Kara with Kryptonite. J’onn killed a lot of white martians but last time I checked he doesn’t feel good about it. Also, never said the things he has done were GOOD. See a difference?

Yeah, and all of it, still doesn’t give her the rights to torture people. Also, friendly reminder she lied to Supergirl about Kryptonite in s3, much before the whole drama. Remember how she destroyed the life of a girl that stole boyfriend in middle school? It clearly shows she always had THAT in her. Plus, sorry not sorry, if she wanted different life, outside her family she could have easily done that. She was in Star City, with Jack, doing her researches, making her career. And she threw it all away, because she WANTED to be a Luthor.

Plus, sorry not sorry, if you feel betrayed and hurt because your friend didn’t tell you something she didn’t OWE you, you go to therapy, not trying to lobotomize entire planet.

Mate, she wanted to lobotomizer entire humanity, without ANYONE’S consent, because SHE, one single Lena, felt hurt. This is playing a GOD. Nothing explains it.

Planning a cold ass revenge for months is not being blinded by feelings.

Once again, even if could argue about how many times she was broken, most of that was a white privileged life she chose herself but whatever, it still doesn’t excuse her. All of she has done should meet consequences. Paying for shit you have done, accepting it, fully realizing what you have done is a part of redemption. Still in s5 she didn’t even apologize to Kara. Because she still didn’t understand what she has done and doesn’t feel sorry about it.

Feel appalled as much as you want, because I’m not going to feel sorry for a white, privileged woman who has never paid for her actions and is basically a living avatar of the worst Karen you can imagine.

She realized Lex was using her horrible experiments (remember? She experimented on puppies too) to his own agenda, that’s why she went to Kara. That’s not grasping a thing. Mhm, if you call that an apology then suit yourself. She is not saving the world, she is helping once again other people fixing the shit she created.

Feel infuriated as much as you want, because I don’t care? Especially when it comes from a person who tells others to take a step back while being totally narrow minded about Mon-El and karamel.

3.Because actors, prodcuers, writers call SC a female friendship. Mel did that in her last interview. See whatever you want but maybe stop forcing people to ship a horribly abusive ship.

Well… no. Kara is the heart and soul of the Supergirl. Alex is her most important relationship. Lena is an important friend, who doesn’t deserve it yet, but we all know Kara is the Paragon of Hope so of course she is going to forgive her.

I know you people think sc dated because they breathed in one room, but in s2 Kara dated, had sex, kissed, cuddled and enjoyed her time with Mon-El.

Yeah, they love each other as friends. It was said more than once.

That’s your delusion, you are free to do it.

Kara done that to Alex too, so you are saying she is romantically in love with her sister or something? If bringing people food is romantic and damn, most of the people I know loves me, god.

No, lena is not Kara’s love of her life.

Cool, you are not going to hate me because I ship karamel, I’m touched.

Sorry that you are going to be super disappointed in the end of the show I guess.

You will hate my hate – what’s the point of it?

Once again, because I don’t think you understand the point of this blog or read the description – it’s gathering receipts of assholes who cross tag and hate on the actors. Maybe go and search #gross hate or #cast hate on this blog so you can see how amazing your fandom is. Have fun.

I would rather eat my own shit than starting shipping the victim of abuse with her abuser.

Thanks and no :)

[cheelduh]

How to strike your way into someone’s heart (Highschool AU)

Part 2 to this. Can be read alone!

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Warnings: A lot of swearing I mean what do you expect they’re all teenagers. Lots of brick slapping. Childe clowns Scaramouche. OH YES this isn’t edited at all lmfao have fun.

Synopsis: It’s your big date with Childe after you lost the bet miserably. You decide to pay the occult club a visit in hopes of finding something that can...ease your concerns. Childe on the other hand has Signora give him a friendly piece of advice, believe it or not. 

Note: SRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH

For as long as you can remember, you've never believed in ghosts, demons, or souls that lose their way in the endless void, forced to roam the earth in repentance.

Believing in the unknown takes creativity, adventure, maybe even a little sense of fear. Scratch that—a shitton of fear, because humans love to weave in their insecurities and inability to explain something into something of a phenomenon.

Bad luck lies in this category. Bad luck is simply a way to justify the catastrophe that one cannot admit they have fabricated themselves. Everyone wants a reason as to why shit hits the fan, and it can be anything but their own fault.

Bad luck is nothing but a load of bull to you. That's totally why you're standing outside the calculus classroom during lunch break, which happens to be the official meet spot for the occult club.

You raise a fist to knock, but then falter, thinking over your options once again. Is this what it has come to? Putting your faith into the weird kids that once tried to summon Schrödinger's cat for the physics final.

Fischl kicks the door wide open, a smirk playing at her lips once she spots you. "One cannot refrain from the song of your cogitation. The feline for which thou dwell on—"

A squeak leaves your throat and you flinch back, cutting her off. "You can read my mind?"

"Fischl," An icy eyed boy shows up from behind her and points a thumb back. "Mona needs your help."

Fischl squints at you for a brief moment, and then spins onto her heel to go back into the room.

The blue haired lower class man, Chongyun you guess, narrows his eyes at you. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Finally you manage to speak, palms all sweaty. "Yeah uh, I need your help. You know, with occulty things." You use your hands to articulate your thoughts, but ultimately give up.

You're not sure if it's pity towards your pathetic explanation or simply annoyance, but Chongyun widens the opening. He silently gestures for you to follow.

Stumbling on your feet and putting on your big girl pants, you hurry inside of the room, hoping you aren't seen by Beidou. She wouldn't let you hear the end of this.

The temperature instantly drops, and you have to adjust your sight to navigate. There's heavy incense in the air as well as a a few lighted candles from the dollar store, you guess.

Sitting smack dab in the middle of all the demonic markings is Mona, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Chongyun has made his way next to her, crossing his arms with a sigh, and Fischl is busy cooing at her bird.

"Well well well..." Mona's amused, eyes almost twinkling as she gets up from the poor desk that had to suffer the wrath of her ass. "If it isn't Y/N."

Mona is a glorified dick wiper in your books. One time, she partnered up with you in chemistry last year and refused to do any work because apparently her "star sign" said she was incompatible with science. You haven't forgiven her since.

"I need your help." You barely manage to choke out the words, reigning yourself in by clenching your fists instead. It'll be unethical to claw her face, especially since you're the one who's come to her.

"Oh?" She smiles wickedly, revelling in every moment of this no doubt. "Why would the high and mighty Y/N need help from the 'Whoroscope whore'?"

Fischl nearly slips out a laugh, trying with her upmost ability to refrain from rolling all over the floor.

You blink away your tears of almost-laughter, casually sliding in twenty mora across the table dividing you two. If she's a whoroscope whore like you say she is, she'll definitely put it in her bra.

Mona raises a brow, but her eyes linger on the bill for a second too much. "What makes you think I'll do it for money?"

"That's simple," You say, rolling your eyes. "When you see mora, you cling to it like a baby clings to a tit. Now just take it and solve my issues."

She fumes a litany of curses but snatches the money up anyways.

"What do you want?"

You breathe in, then out. "I need a talisman."

Mona raises a brow, hand on her hip. "I'm sorry. Did I get that right?"

How dare she. You will your eye into not twitching, the beginnings of fire thrumming through your veins, scalding hot. How dare she make me repeat myself.

"You know, the thing to fend off evil spirits," Your statement hangs heavy in the air as the cogs in their brains click into place. "I need one that can remove the most evilest thing times ten to the power of twenty five on this planet."

Everyone immediately thinks of Hu Tao.

Chongyun is the first to speak from an area of expertise, seemingly shocked at your words. "Are you sure you want a talisman that powerful? How bad is the evil spirit you've come across?"

You glance out the window, through the semi-open blinds. The apprehension curls in your stomach once you spot Childe chasing Aether with safety scissors, and you've never been more sure of than anything in your life.

Gulping, you turn back to the exorcist. "I'm 110% sure."

He doesn't ask any more questions and goes to fetch the talisman.

Mona clears her throat. "So I hear you have a date with Childe today. Quite the character you've taken to."

"Oh please," You hiss through your teeth, your blood pressure going up tenfold, "you're the one that told him our star signs were intertwined and that we're fated lovers."

She shrugs innocently, stance casual unlike your own that is ready to lunge an attack.

"Here you are," Chongyun hands you a talisman, a colourful mix of some charms, some kind of liquid in a bottle, and about a shitton of other things. "You'll need these if you're going to face the most demonic of all evils."

You think of Childe's stupidly handsome smirk, the playful life of his eyes, and how gentle and considerate he is with you. You think about how cruel he is to others, but how loving he can be to you.

"Oh, I will be."

—

Childe is getting his ass handed to him by Scaramouche on the switch. It's just that he can't seem to focus, not with the forthcoming date all over his mind.

He hasn't experienced these kind of jitters in a long time. Has to endure that foolish smile that's about to plaster all over his face.

Scaramouche may be a son of a bitch with an agenda, but he doesn't appreciate his acquaintances safeguarding their personal crap when it starts to leak onto him. Especially when it comes to video games.

"Okay," The short boy sighs, stretching over the staff room sofa to drop his controller on the cushions. "Let's hear it." He can't even properly enjoy his victories when Childe isn't giving it his all.

"Hear what?" Childe lays his head back, relaxing from all the strain of endless gaming during the lunch hour. He seems too relaxed for someone who's broken into the teacher's lounge.

"Why you're so distracted." Scaramouche points out. "Not that I care—hey! I'm serious here!"

Childe's cracking up for absolutely no reason, rudely cutting him off. "I'm sorry—sorry it's just so hard to take you seriously when you're wearing that stupid fucking hat."

"Don't question the drip." The older moves his head to glare at him, but the thin stripe of silk on his hat swooshes with him, and it's enough to have Childe clutching his stomach in pain as he barks out in laughter.

"Grow the fuck up." Scaramouche says, no doubt exasperated from the constant shit he gets.

"Ok—ok I'm sorry."

There's a knock on the door before Scaramouche gets the chance to intimidate him again.

"Fuck shit fuck who is that? Wasn't there a staff meeting?" Childe whisper yells, panic clear in the ocean of his eyes.

Scaramouche shrugs and downs a can of soda with no care in the world.

Childe would be nonchalant too. If it were a normal day, he wouldn't give two shits about getting caught.

However, he's looking forward to that date he has with you today. Detention is going foil all his lecherous plans.

"It's me." The feminine sound of a threat calls out from the other side. "Open the door." The clicks and clacks of her toes tapping the floor indicating her impatience.

The two sigh in relief, Childe getting up to open the door. It's way too early in the afternoon to deal with this crap.

"Surprised to see me?" Signora greets sweetly, and if not for the murderous glint in her eyes, he would smile back.

"Yeah, I didn't say Bloody Mary three times." The ginger replies, keeping a steady eye on the upperclassman in case she pulls a fast one.

The blonde shoves him aside in offence, and prances in like she owns the goddamn place. Scaramouche greets her with the bird.

"There's this rumour going around—I'm sure you've heard..."

"Oh?" Childe pockets his keys, ready for an attack, not even remotely interested in the topic.

"Something about how Y/N gave Mona a visit today" Signora muses, elegantly taking a seat on the arm of the couch, "with your date and all, I just thought you should know."

"Hah!" Scaramouche bursts out in laughter, tears in the corner of his eyes. "I can't believe she went to get a horoscope reading on how shitty your date's gonna be."

"Get castrated." Childe growls, flipping him off on both hands.

"Now now boys," Signora's lips curl, and she clasps both manicured hands together, prepared to break the fight if it ever reaches its peak. "Settle down. You two are comrades."

"As if I'm comrades with this SIMP!" Scaramouche has to wheeze out the words.

The youngest clenches his fists, unclenches, and then lets a smirk grow. "Oh? I'm the simp? What about that time Mona pantsed you in-front of all the freshmen and you fell in love with her."

Scaramouche glares at him, a glare strong enough to have anyone shaking in their shoes. "I'm attracted at her sheer audacity of trying to fuck I, Scaramouche, the 8th harbinger, over. It takes balls."

"Mad respect." Signora leans forward to place her phone on the coffee table, then approaches Childe. "Moving on, the reason I've decided to bestow my precious intel on you is because I have a favour to ask of you."

"What?" He says blankly, confused that she has a request for him out of all people.

"I need you to let me get you ready for this date of yours." She gives him a gaze that is enough to wither away any arguments.

Childe shares a look with Scaramouche as if to say "am I fucking deaf because I sure as shit didn't just hear that."

"You sure as hell did, boys." Signora intercepts the connection of their two brainwaves with a dreaded sigh. "I hate Y/N. This is the only way I can get back at her."

"Hey!" Childe exclaims loudly, waving his hands in the air incessantly. "What makes you think I'll let you shit on my future girlfriend."

"I'll be doing nothing of the sorts." She points out, giving him a sly smile. "I just know she's terrified of what's coming. The better the date is, the more she's gonna hate herself. What more do I need but to sprinkle some inner conflict within her airtight resolve?"

As favorable as the proposal is, Childe  contemplates for a second. Signora...helping him? This could work to his advantage if he plays his cards right.

His inner turmoil takes him into the future, where you two are happily married with eight and a half kids. If you ever managed to find out Signora was the culprit that was finally able to set you two up, you'd never forgive him.

"Nah I'll take a hard pass." He doesn't want to think about divorce and custody battles this early on. He'd rather face the brunt of Signora's wrath.

Scaramouche chooses right then to make a tactical withdrawal out through the window since he doesn't want to be a witness to a murder he hasn't caused.

Surprisingly— "Fine then." Signora shrugs, unbothered when summoning out a minty juul from no where. She's disappointed nonetheless.

Childe tilts his head, perplexed, but decides against mulling over it for too long. Instead, he strides off to the door, wanting to get the last two periods over with so he can run home and freshen up for this date.

"Oh and Childe?" Signora calls out to him, but he barely acknowledges her, only pausing momentarily without looking back. "A piece of friendly advice. A diligent student like Y/N, there's no way she'd be into rash things like fighting. So try and control yourself, hmm?"

He flashes the senior a sheepish smile, the front row tickets to the illegal underground fight-club burning in the back pocket of his pants.

—

Childe conceals near the bushes by the gate, expertly hiding his shaking hands by pretending to look for something in his back. His goal isn't to seem desperate, even though he's raced out here at the speed of light after Havria's dismissal.

It's not like he's trying to eavesdrop or anything. He just wants a little insight on how you're feeling about this, in case the rumors of you visiting the occult club wasn't a farce.

From his peripheral, he spots you and a familiar figure that is Lisa, leisurely walking side by side as you approach the main side walk.

"Ready for your date, Y/N? You've been daydreaming all afternoon." Lisa winks, and dodges the shove you send her way with experience like no other.

"Yes, daydreaming about punching you in the face." Your left eye twitches in annoyance as you fix your hold on your skateboard.

"Well then, I'll be off—ah!"

The gorilla grip you have on her sleeve takes away all the time she has to get on the last bus she's about to miss.

Your utter strength is enough to make Childe's knees weak. How pathetic he thinks.

"Oh no you don't," You say in a sing-song voice, "you got me into this, so you're going to help."

"Help with what?" Lisa fakes a hard pout as she bats her lashes, trying to collect pity points.

"I—" You inhale, loosening your grip on her and averting your eyes nervously to see if anyone's watching. "Don't make me say it."

The older girl motions for you to continue, and you're sure you've suffered more for less at this point.

"I've never...been on a..." The sentence ends in a trailed murmur.

Childe doesn't think he's ever seen you so flustered. He's about to snap a picture for later, but decides against it. They'll be plenty of moments later on to see your cute expressions.

Lisa's grin is both seductive and terrifying, Childe notices. "You've never been on a date?"

"Shut up!" You hiss, dropping your board so you can cover her lips with your palm, eyes darting around your surroundings frantically. "Not so loud."

He has to bite at his fist to hide his amusement.

As if she has a sixth sense, Lisa's eyes somehow find Childe's through the abundance of leaves, and there's a glint in her eyes that nearly makes him shart his pants.

"Of course Y/N," She replies sweetly to you, who is currently unaware of the staring match going on. "I'll teach you everything you need to know...and more."

Childe doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing. Nor does he want to find out.

—

You ponder on what's taking him so long, more on edge than you usually are. Thankfully, Lisa basically pried your hair down from its usual up-do. Said something about how you can hide your lack of shits given as to not offend him.

Except you think you're giving more shits that you expected to. Why else would your heart be pounding so hard?

"What took you so long?" You sense him creeping up on you, ceasing his chance to pounce.

Childe groans playfully and slaps a hand over his face as he comes into view. "How'd you know?"

"You have a douche-styled gait." You reply as you remove your gaze off your phone to approach him.

He's prepared to shoot a witty reply, but it dies halfway through his throat when he procures a good look at you. Your hair frames your face elegantly, eyes shining despite the tiredness that's so clear, all complete with a cooling spring dress that hugs you just right.

Mouth going dry, he forgets how to speak the common tongue, unable to tear his gaze off your form.

You shift in place awkwardly. "Uh are you okay? Looking a little...blank."

"Sorry—sorry just thinking." Childe stumbles over his words like the complete idiot and a half he is, berating himself countlessly on the inside. He regains his confidence once he spots the light dust on your cheeks. "You ready for the best date ever?"

"The best date huh?" It's the first time you smile today, and he swears his heart leaps in his rib cage. You're the prettiest thing he's ever laid his eyes on. "I'm ready. I better not be disappointed."

"I wouldn't dare disappoint, girlie." He feigns mock offence as dramatically as possible. "I'll show you how to have some real fun. Cool keychain by the way, for good luck?"

It's one of the charms Chongyun urged you to carry with you at all times to keep all forms of evil away.

"Yeah...something like that."

The two of you ease into the walk in a relatively comfortable fashion, contributing with lively chatter and a few jabs here and there. It's not awkward at all, not like you thought it would be. Your nerves loosen up, mind diverting from the roots of the stress of high school.

"—And you won't believe what Kaeya did the other day. I'm telling you there's something wrong with him because that SoundCloud rapper wannabe Venti goaded him into birdboxing through the hallways at lunch."

"And the son of a bitch did it?"

"The son of a bitch did it." Childe confirmed, gasping through his laughs as the two of you converse in psychobabble. "And guess who he bumped into?"

You're choking in laughter, tears in your eyes as you hunch over and shake. "He didn't. Childe—no he didn't."

"Straightttt into Diluc. And he had the balls to feel him up because he thought he bumped into a hot bab—"

Childe crashes into a sturdy chest and stumbles backwards towards you, but manages to catch his balance midway. Both of you freeze when faced with a buff guy from another school, bandages on his fist and a crooked smirk on his face.

Fuck. You think. Classic high school cliché.

Realizing he can't risk the remainder of this date when it hasn't even begun, Childe raises a hand in apology, aiming to be the bigger person instead of socking the kid in the face.

"Sorry. I wasn't looking." He offers to the guy, but you can tell he isn't buying any of it. There are about four more kids who group, a setup that isn't going to end in your favour.

"Hey punk. You don't remember me?" The upperclassmen barks out, glaring holes into your date.

You deadpan towards Childe, but he's too is racking his brain to remember. Ends up shrugging with no recollection.

"I have a list of names but they're in my other pants." Shit, what an a-grade reply. Now you know you're done for. "Listen dude, I'm kind of on a date and the vibe is going great. Don't ruin it."

"It's a good thing she's here to watch then!" The guy yells, stomping so that he's right in-front of Childe, ready to pounce. "You humiliated me in front of my gang last week. I'm here to rip you a new one."

Childe blinks, tries to remember, and when he doesn't, he grabs a wad full of cash from the his Fanny pack and throws it at the guy's feet.

Everyone's eyes bulge out of their sockets, including yours at the amount of money placed there casually on the crack of the dirty sidewalk.

"Hopefully this is enough for the damages." Childe offers, aiming to not further escalate the situation albeit how pissed he is right now. If you weren't here...well that would be another, much more violent story.

With a soft tug, Childe brings you close and begins to pass the guy, until he's abruptly stopped by a hand gripping his shoulder tightly.

"I don't think so!" The guys barks, and his lackeys move to surround you two. "You gotta pay taxes too buddy." Oh he's getting way too comfortable now.

A feral smile grows on Childe's face as he looks over his shoulder. "Oh?"

"Yeah shithead." The guy seethes, puffing out his chest to size him up.

Childe itches for a fight. He can no longer keep in the urge and is just about ready to raise a heavy fist, but is beaten by the sound of a loud thwack, and then a painful groan following.

There you are, standing in front of the trembling asshole, spinning your crossbody bag in circles like it's a nunchuck in all it's glory. There's a deadly glint in your eyes, pure, unadulterated vexation in your features.

If Childe could fall for you any harder, it's probably happening now. In that exact moment, his heart beats in his ears uncontrollably, and there's nothing but raw adoration that piles up all at once.

You're an angel of destruction, a force not to be reckoned with, and shit, you're the eye of the fucking storm.

Fire courses through your veins as you pulverize the guy with your bag, swinging with such expertise it has Childe in awe. "He may be an absolute idiot for not remembering—"

"Hey girlie you're killing me here!" Your date snaps out of his astonishment temporarily.

"—but you don't get to call him a shithead, you asshole!" You snarl angrily, gripping the handle of your bag tightly, decking everyone that lunges at you, letting out strings of curses with every hit. Every hit sends a flock of them either stumbling back in pain, or knocked out completely.

Childe doesn't even get a chance to lift a finger by the time you're done violating them with your heavy ass pink bag. Stands there like an absolute loser.

"Apologize." You pant, prepared to send another flurry of attacks at the leader, who is crawling away with a battered face. "Apologize or I'll—I'll fucking Russian neck tie your ass."

"S-sorry!" The guy whimpers out and tries not to piss his pants at the threat.

Childe is still in too much shock at the whole ordeal to reply, short circuiting.

Another thirty seconds pass until he registers the smaller hand waving in front of his face. He catches your cold hand through his haze, brings it closer.

Running a free hand through his locks, he doesn't hide his astonishment. "You're fucking gorgeous, girlie." He whistles lowly, eyeing you with a new kind of regard.

"I-I uh." Your face is all shades of red by now, the adrenaline from kicking ass wearing down. "Let's go."

"How is that bag so heavy?" One of the fallen gasps out in pain, clutching his ribs as he trembles on the floor. "Like a buh-brick."

A part of your zipper in open, and Childe briefly peeks out of morbid curiosity. His jaw slackens. "Is that a...no, it can't be."

"It's a brick." You murmur guiltily, gnawing at your bottom lip. "Just in case." Fingers tentatively play with the straps.

Childe is head over heels by now, all smitten as a foreign warmth bubbles up in his throat, and he's just about sure he'll puke his heart out.

His next words are picked out carefully. "There's an underground fight club going on—"

You lock and aim for his right kidney.

Worth a try, Childe thinks.

"SIKE. Joking—joking. Just a joke." He insists, gloved hands raised by his ears in defence.

Clicking your tongue, you scowl and rush past him.

It hasn't even been an hour and it's been the most exciting date Childe's ever experienced. When he sees your lips twitch, he knows it's the same for you as well.

"Are we going or not?" You mumble, avoiding eye contact, a tinge of red still decorating your cheeks.

Childe crumbles into his hands at your deadly duality. One that comes for his enemies and one that comes straight for his heart.

[alirhi]

Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

[tsunflowers]

nebula awards showcase 2019 edited by silvia moreno-garcia had some great stories in it as well

a series of steaks, vina jie-min prasad. a woman runs a shady business using a 3d printer designed to print organs to instead make counterfeit steaks that appear to have come from real cows. already a funny concept and her relationship with the new coworker she picks up is hilarious and full of lesbienergy

fandom for robots, also vina jie-min prasad. a robot that lives in a museum and spends its days wowing guests by answering questions and solving equations is introduced to an anime called hyperdimension warp record and becomes obsessed. and starts writing ship fanfic about the robot character who is also just a big metal box and the human protagonist. which is the main ship in this fandom. it was so funny. this is literally how I talked about ultroid zero in z

all systems red, martha wells. this is the first murderbot book. murderbot is fun, it's a tactical security cyborg who hacked its own governor module mostly to watch tv whenever it wanted and who becomes slightly more interested in hanging out with humans over the course of the series

wind will rove, sarah pinsker. a woman onboard a generation ship struggles with explaining to the new generation why the earth and their past are still relevant, using folk music and the search to identify the lineage of old songs as metaphors

dirty old town, richard bowes. two boys with magic powers have a strained relationship as kids and things change when they meet as adults. a little bit gritty. I felt like it packed a lot into a short story. but also two guys have sex and it's only after that that one discloses to the other that they're first cousins and he knew all along so that was weird

the last novelist (or a dead lizard in the yard) matthew kressel. I wanted to not like this one but it made me tear up. a man travels to another planet to finish his last novel, which is a dying art form in this world where everyone is on their damn wifi implants and can't appreciate the art of reading. we get it. but he develops a very sweet relationship with a young girl and teaches her what's so great about doing things by hand

small changes over long periods of time, km szpara. gay trans vampire story. a guy gets bit by a vampire and the vampire is like hey. im sorry I did that. I know in our society where vampires are a thing you have to apply and pass scrutiny to turn into one but do you want me to turn you on the down low bc you'll die otherwise. and the guy is like ok my life can't get worse. but being a vampire really fucks with his body and hormones so he has to get that sorted out after he stops having wild gay vampire sex with the guy that turned him. being a vampire is kind of a metaphor for being trans but the main guy is also just trans. the ending was really sweet

a human stain, kelly robson. sometime in the 1900s probably a woman with too much debt to keep living the high life in paris comes to her gay friend's ancestral home to be a governess for his nephew and it takes her a long time to figure out what evils lurk beneath the castle bc she is desperately trying to fuck the kid's maid. spooky grotesque creepypasta stuff with a main character thats a horny lesbian

[best-enemies]

the brigadier, just trying to see a therapist but the therapist is the master :(

AHSHEJSJDJDKDNDKDND POOR BRIG

I can picture him arriving at the therapist's office and seeing this weird guy with glasses and blond hair that almost looks like a wig, but he brushes it off. Men of his apparent age probably had one for every hair color.

"I'm sorry I thought Dr. McDuff was the therapist? I mean, I know that, I just haven't actually been here before."

"Aaah, you see", the man replies in a weird accent, "Dr. McDuff is on a sick leave for some undetermined time."

The Brigadier rose his eyebrows: "Ah. Poor fella. Do you know what he had?"

The new therapist looked just a bit annoyed, if the Brigadier could even tell: he was almost expressionless, as if he wore a mask – no, he probably had a stroke.

"Motorcycle accident, or so I've heard."

"Really? I've always seen him arrive on his car, never thought he'd ride motorcycles."

"Apparently he didn't. But let's not dwell on it – I'm Dr. McMasterson. Pleased to meet you."

The Brigadier shook his hand, and was beginning to feel a little suspicious. Especially because the shade of the skin on the man's hand didn't match the shade of the skin on his face. But still, he ignored it. For now.

"Please, sit down, Alistair. I may call you Alistair, right?"

"I guess so. You're going to learn all about my childhood anyway", he laughed.

Dr. McMasterson tried o open a smile, and the Brig wondered if he couldn't because he didn't find his "joke" funny or if he couldn't move his face.

"Ah yes, Alistair, true. But I thought we could try a different approach. Tell me about the Doctor."

The Brigadier stared at him skeptically.

"Why do you wanna know about him?"

"I've heard a lot about him from my predecessor. He observed all people who worked here and even tried to talk to him, but he refused to be analyzed. It is known that you two are friends, but he often causes you a great deal of trouble. Tell me, how did the two of you meet?"

The Brigadier proceeded to tell the therapist about his story with the Doctor, and noticed that while he took notes, he kept looking over his pad with an evil glint on his eyes. Was he scheming? No, what would a therapist be scheming? Some new, unorthodox therapy method?

Maybe that could solve all his problems.

"...and he keeps trying to fix his TARDIS – this time and space machine – so he can get away from this lif-"

"As always...", Dr. McMasterson muttered with a sigh.

"I beg your pardon?"

The man looked up at him.

"What?"

"You said, 'as always'... how well do you know the Doctor?"

Dr. McMasterson looked slightly uneasy for a moment. "I don't. That's what I heard from Dr. McDuff."

The Brigadier didn't believe it, especially now that that weird accent seemed to be "wearing off" into one that was a bit too familiar. The Brigadier then continued his story:

"Now, to the worst part: there's this man, whatever he is, who keeps coming up with the most absurd plans to conquer planet Earth. The entire planet! I mean, I've seen my fair share of strange things but he's absolutely unhinged. Calls himself the Master. Master of what? He can't even manage to make some evil entity to like him", the Brigadier laughed, and noticed that the man's face had become a bit contorted, in a weird way. Like he was indeed wearing a mask and making a face underneath it.

"Anyway. I don't know what the Doctor sees in him, but even though they'll fight, they're also... well, I did run into them making out on the Doctor's lab once", the therapist couldn't hide the smile underneath the mask, "I turned my back and walked away. Usually I just yell at the Doctor but that was too much for me. I mean, should I have seen it coming? I know the Doctor lets the Master escape on purpose. I questioned him once, and he didn't answer me. I don't know what else to do, it's starting to look bad for UNIT, it's bad for the morale, and I can't fire the Doctor because he's our specialist in everything! I just want to lay down my head on the pillow for one goddamn night without the Doctor calling me at 3am to tell me he saw the Master in his dreams."

There was a fond tone on Dr. McMasterson's voice when he said: "He does that? Did he tell you the content of his dreams?"

The Brigadier felt his patience slip away quickly. He took the gun off his holster and pointed the gun at Dr. McMasterson, while contacting Sgt. Benton on his radio, eyes glued at the man in front of him, who rose his hands.

"What gave me away?", Dr. McMa- no, the Master, asked innocently.

"Seriously?"

"Well, yes. Oh, was it the mask? Not my best one, but I'm still working on one that is way more elaborated."

The absolute audacity of the man, the Brigadier thought.

"Literally everything gave you away, Master. Perhaps you need to work better on your performance. But if you want any tips, when you started asking about the Doctor..."

"Ah yes."

"Yes. I was sure then."

By that time, Sargent Benton walked into the room armed, and restrained the Master with handcuffs and took off his ridiculous mask.

"My dear Brigadier, could you tell the Doctor to meet me in jail?"

"Absolutely not."

"I will not harm a single hair on his head."

The Brigadier sighed deeply. "That's not what I'm worried about."

"I'll only talk to him", the Master insisted.

"What will you talk to him about? We don't need any confession. This plan of yours was so bad I'm sure we can figure it all out quite easily without his help."

"But will you tell him to visit me anyway? We have... things to work out", the Master's expression was quite sad.

The Brigadier sighed once again. The Doctor had been in a bad mood lately. He could prevent them from seeing each other and make matters worse, or he could allow them to talk and maybe figure things out. Work out a nice, amicable break-up somehow (or something that wouldn't end up with the Doctor dead or in a coma, something that would at least help him heal faster and get in a better mood soon).

That's what the Brigadier advised to the Doctor later that evening.

He absolutely regretted ever letting them meet again when he was in his office looking at the security cameras and saw the Doctor opening the jail, getting in, arguing with the Master for a few minutes and then... well. You know. He should absolutely have seen it coming.

Just as the Brigadier had done when he caught the Doctor and the Master making out in the lab, he turned off the screen and left his office. He'd go home now, have dinner, and sleep. Tomorrow, he thought, I'll look for a new therapist. Far, far away from here.