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uselessheretic · 2 years ago

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Okay, so there’s a few things here I think are worth discussing so sorry for however long this is to anybody’s dash I’m clogging lmao

First, I know this probably goes without saying, but New Zealand and Australia have very different histories between the two of them especially within the context of the treatment of the indigenous population. From an American POV, I’m not sure many people here realize this and assume that since they’re near each other and both talk funny that they’d be 1 for 1 representations of each other, but the development of colonialism is starkly different especially because of the sheer brutality and sadism of Australia’s violence. There’s other core differences as well including Australia’s unique history of being colonized by convicts, and the difference in cultural development of their indigenous population (Aborginal Australians have been chilling there for about 60,000 years while the Māori migrated to NZ in the 1300’s!)

I wanna be clear that what my post is discussing is specific to the way white supremacy, masculinity, and violence interact and how the social roles enforced by them serve a purpose of reinforcing racial categorizations. When I am talking about colonialism, in this context, I am sticking towards a more strict definition of what colonization is and am not referring to how we view it in a contemporary context. During this period of time colonialism is active and literal as race is still being defined and the borders of whiteness figured out. It isn’t a blanket statement of “every white person is a colonizer” at this period of time because that’s just not true, at least not in the sense of its use today where even white people not currently acting as active agents of colonization are still passive recipients of its benefits and often descendants of colonizers.

I don’t find it useful to analyze things based off of “this just has suuuuch colonist vibes!” or “maybe he’s not a colonizer, but this feels like colonizing to me!” or whatever. Colonialism isn’t a vibe and it isn’t anything that makes a poc feel bad it’s an actual system of oppression. I would like to encourage white allies in particular to be accurate in their use of these words especially when contradicting poc on its application because idk that feels like colonization to meeeeeee!

Which I just want to clarify so we can draw a line between “Izzy does this cruel hurtful thing” vs “Izzy is colonizing Ed” as statements. A white man telling an indigenous man how to behave is, of course, always going to be shitty, however, being shitty =/= colonization. What I’m looking at isn’t the validity of Izzy’s entitlement, but the contradiction behind saying that Izzy wants Ed to be violent because of white supremacy.

It's true, Izzy values Blackbeard's intelligence, and that does go against the colonial caricature of Maori men. Nonetheless, we have seen that Izzy considers Ed impulsive, and that he sees himself as needing to 'manage' Ed. And the fact that Izzy values Ed's intelligence doesn't entirely cancel out the fact that Izzy is demanding Ed be violent and Ed doesn't want to be.

When it comes to Izzy viewing Ed as impulsive, it’s just kinda silly to say that Izzy takes this view because he’s racist. I mean. Ed is impulsive. Full stop there is no argument here Ed is an impulsive person. Ed gave up a 20+ year career in piracy to run off with some guy he met maybe a month ago who literally dumped in within the next 24 hours (puposeful or not.) Ed asked Jack to whip him in the balls! The balls! This doesn’t detract from the fact that Ed is an intelligent person, and Izzy doesn’t act that way either. Even in episode 4, what he’s asking from Ed isn’t to go shoot people, but to come up with a plan. It’s possible to recognize someone as impulsive, but also value them for their brilliance. It doesn’t detract from them as a person either, but demonstrates complexity.

And with Izzy “demanding Ed to be violent” when Ed doesn’t want to be it’s just? That doesn’t equate to racism. That’s Izzy being shitty, but it’s also being shitty while asking Ed to do his job. People can be shitty without it being racist, and asking poc to do something they don’t want to do isn’t inherently a racist act.

We could instead say that Izzy does this out of racist biases, but to what purpose does this actually serve?

Out of everything, this is what I wish white people would examine the most. When analyzing interactions of racism, how are the narratives being crafted used to uphold white supremacy? Because, once again, white supremacy does not function in a way where it demands for moc to be violent for violence’s sake. This isn’t just a fluke of the upper class, but consistent throughout, where the narrative of violence forced onto moc functions as an excuse to either civilize or genocide. There is no version of white masculinity which places itself in subordination to moc and that includes white working class masculinity.

The idea of the violent moc is used as a tool of control and conditioning. When speaking of it under a lens of anti-colonization, it’s a stereotype that’s utilized to justify the civilization of the population, or when that becomes too much work, give reasoning towards their extermination. White people aren’t hyping up moc’s violence because they think it’s more fun to have that as a boss. They do it to justify their dehumanization and give themselves the excuse to enact violence back onto them often through the police state. These stereotypes aren’t vibes or applied willy nilly, they serve a function within white supremacy and it’s important to understand this and how it all connects together.

Ugh this is getting long but a few things I just want to point out real quick

I just want to point out that this isn’t an accurate summation of the above text outside of the context of Ed/Izzy. Sorry, but I do think it’s important to not decontextualize this as being a statement regarding white men’s projections onto Māori men, and then summarize Māori masculinity as being about gentleness and compassion.

The full paragraph is:

This is the author speaking not only towards mainstream media portrayals of Māori men, but of the self-imposed culture of masculinity that has become normalized because of colonialism. When talking about the necessity of recognizing Māori culture as also being one of love and compassion, it is in reference to specific cultural tenets and it feels inappropriate to separate and simplify them especially when this part of the paper is addressing Māori boys learning of their culture outside of colonialist influence.

Many people read robe!Ed as feminine, even transfeminine. I think all of those readings are valid. I think Ed is flailing around desperately trying to work out who he is when he's had the rug pulled from under him. What's important to me in this context is that Ed is trying to be gentle, creative and incredibly fucking vulnerable and open.

Please be careful with what traits you associate with femininity and how that is applied to moc because none of these things are feminine outside of a white western context, and it’s frustrating to see western centric viewpoints and language around gender be applied to neutral acts. Crying and vulnerability isn’t something that’s viewed as feminine in all cultures! When we apply this viewpoint, we are also acting as agents of colonization and forcing western ideals onto moc.

Okay, so the paper about the formation of NZ masculine identity is a bit dense and covers a lot of ground. I think it’s a good resource to view as a way of contextualizing masculinity within the country and how that’s applied to its Māori population.

When it’s discussing the white working class and masculinity, it’s referring not just an identity, but a fetishization of the working class aesthetics. It’s a bit more complicated than just saying “NZ was colonized by the working class” and is another one of those areas where NZ’s history differs radically from Australia’s. Since Australia is infamous for the whole convict thing, meanwhile. NZ was a religious colony also colonized by missionaries. Within the country, part of what the paper discusses is how this working class narrative is utilized by the upper class and British colonials as a way of reifying class positions and incentivizing them to continue to exploit their labor.

Race on a global context is a bit funny, where over the last few centuries, race has become more simplified over time. There is a stratification of racial hierarchy where whiteness is broken into layers of acceptability, especially within a British context.

The intersection of race and class is often complicated, especially when trying to apply this to a character like Izzy who isn’t a kiwi. It’s hard to try and situate him in a situation of exploitation like this when trying to discuss him as an agent of colonization when he isn’t acting in that specific role. Of course working class white men are exploitative of poc, but we need to actually locate Izzy’s position within this accurately which isn’t as a kiwi colonizer, but as a Brit.

When I point out that Izzy’s brand of masculinity isn’t one that white supremacy is promoting as an ideal, that isn’t to say that it’s impossible for working class masculinity to be oppressive towards moc, but that there are specifics way that this relationship develops. Upper class British masculinity acts as a role model that both the working class and moc are thought of as lesser under it. Moc specifically are thought of as a project by upper class Brits to civilize. Especially in a NZ context where missionaries were attempting to force Christianity onto the population.

This same relationship doesn’t exist between working class white men and moc. The relationship between them is one that is antagonistic, as a dynamic that is purposefully set up by the upper class as a way of maintaining class positions. Again, when looking at what ideals are being promoted by white supremacy, it’s crucial to think of how this benefits the people in power.

White working class men and moc are pitted against each other throughout history not just by their communities and infighting, but through law. The most famous and instrumental case being of John Punch, the first person on official record to be forced into enslavement by the basis of his race. When three indentured servants escaped, all three were subjected to lashings, but only one was sentenced to life enslavement due to his race. This is one of the turning points in history where you see how relationships of solidarity become fractured as racism offers incentives to be maintained by white people also marginalized under systems of oppression.

This is relevant, because through this you can see the ways that white working class men utilize the brutalization of poc to better their own position within society. Example: how the Irish became assimilated into whiteness through the NYC race riots and the murder of more than 100 Black people.

Working class white masculinity cannot function as subordinate to moc. It is defined by it’s position as above poc and maintained by their continual abuse. When looking to examples of what this looks like, it’s often one that views moc as a threat and treats them as something that needs to be suppressed or eliminated. Think of white men fear mongering about the threat of job loss due to immigration, meanwhile the actual cause is corporations having high profits, yet continuing to cut costs and lay people off.

When thinking of Izzy in this context, it’s a contradiction to view Izzy as wanting to force Ed into a racialized role by asking him to be his superior. Racism isn’t vibes, it’s an interconnecting system that validates white supremacy, and being rude and a shit head doesn’t equate to racism. Izzy weaponizing white masculinity would be less “calling Ed a pussy and telling him he wants to serve him” and more “trying to force Ed into a place of subordination or discredit his accomplishments as flukes of his physicality, not his intelligence and skill.”

Honestly, a more straight forward way this manifests would be something like Black Pete’s frustration at Oluwande and Jim, two poc, being placed into leadership positions over him where despite not having the skills or knowledge they do, still valuing himself as superior. That isn’t me saying Pete’s a racist or anything, but that’s a dynamic far more similar to the way the white working class interacts with poc.

Tbh, these conversations are a bit frustrating because of how simplistic the predominant fandom views racism and white supremacy, condensing it into soundbites when convenient, and then never contextualizing it into the greater impact of the show. This is also a level of scrutiny that is rarely applied to Stede, or when done so as quick housekeeping of vaguely acknowledging “he’s a privileged white man!” while never considering what his role in white supremacy is on a deeper level and being eager to absolve him of it quickly.

If Ed is supposed to be trying to turn into a truer self that is free of violence and wants to become a softer person, this sets up a disturbing narrative of white savioritirsm on Stede’s part. This white savior narrative wouldn’t be purposeful or a deconstruction, it’d be a deep flaw of the story where I would severely question the writing as reinforcing racist stereotypes and positioning a white man as more developed.

This also positions Ed as someone so incapable of his own thought that he’s able to be manipulated by a 5’7 loser subordinate he’s never shown respect towards as soon as his teacher of proper masculinity is gone. Stede’s brand of masculinity is no better than whatever is projected onto Izzy, if anything, it’s one that holds more power. He fits far more into upper class society than Ed or Izzy ever will, regardless of how much he cries. This isn’t a subversion of masculinity, and treating it as a more enlightened pathway for Ed to take as an alternative to the wretched working class filth he comes from would really really suck.

In the end, Ed is violent. He loves a good maim! He’s a pirate! He’s impulsive and hot headed and he doesn’t fit within the softer less obtrusive ideals of upper class white masculinity. By taking these traits and dismissing them as a cage he’s locked in that only Stede can show him out of, we are forcing western ideals of acceptability onto him. Instead, we should recognize Ed for who he is, a multifaceted and complex character with flaws who engages with multiple characters with varying degrees of interpersonal conflict.

The more I think about it the more I dislike interpretations that Izzy is forcing Ed to be violent and The Kraken coming out is Izzy fault entirely where he’s manipulating Ed to be this way because of masculine ideals. I think I said it before, but white men don’t want moc to be violent. When it comes to racial stereotypes, they’re utilized as a way to hold up specific structures of white supremacy. For Polynesia, and the Māori specifically, viewing them as “savages” who idolize violence and are a danger was used as a justification for their colonization. It was a tool leveraged against them to push for “civilizing” the native population, where the focus on their body came with two goals: 1. Justify colonialism by saying that the Māori were inherently violent and in need of English intervention and 2. Isolate their physical skill as a positive where they could then funnel Māori men into roles of manual labor.

When talking about roles of masculinity, Izzy isn’t an example of British masculinity to be revered. In Britain, class trumps masculinity where Izzy’s distinctively working class demeanor could never be held up as an ideal. This is different than in American (and New Zealand too actually!) where working class aesthetics are fetishized and appropriated. In England, however, the ideal was to be stoic. You had control over your emotions, you didn’t swear, you were refined. Izzy’s outbursts and tantrums would never be held up as ways to celebrate masculinity, they’d be looked down upon as uncultured.

It doesn’t make sense to interpret Izzy as weaponizing race to force Ed into a position of a violent moc. This stereotype isn’t one that serves white supremacy in that context. The Blackbeard we know, which is violent, wild, vicious and brilliant, is one that the British hate. It threatens their livelihood and pokes holes in their view of whiteness as absolute and impenetrable. You can’t view Izzy as aligning with colonialism while also saying that he is forcing Ed into this racial stereotype. Especially when historically, you’re looking at an incomplete and decontextualized caricature.

Like I said before, Māori men were stereotyped (and still are) of having their bodies and physical skills valued above all else. This came hand in hand with diminishing their intelligence and painting them as mentally deficient. There’s a specific history of European colonizers forcing Māori schools to remove academics from their program and to only teach agriculture and other manual skills like that. When the stereotype of the violent native exists, it’s one that has to be careful to not threaten the inherent supremacy of whiteness, which means it gets coupled with this idea of “purity” of the native as well. They’re violent and brutal, but that’s because they’re closer to “primitive” and are acting out on their basic instincts. Therefore, they need to be pushed into the proper career fields where their physical talents can be used productively. There’s a romanticization almost, of viewing this violence as child-like and in need of correction. Hence, the need to civilize them.

I just don’t think this context works with the way Izzy interacts with Edward. Izzy is never trying to control Edward or to position himself as above him. He values him for his intelligence and his brilliance. He never wants to captain Edward, and happily accepts a role of subordination to him. This is a position that doesn’t fit within white supremacy where whiteness can never be seen as second class to a poc. Even when valuing moc’s physical skill above white men’s, it’s done with a caveat that this proves white men’s superiority because that means they’re able to best moc based on intelligence alone.

So, we know that the masculinity Izzy presents isn’t the one that is idolize. That Edward having angry outbursts and violent tendencies isn’t working within the ideals of British masculinity. We know that Edward’s violence isn’t something white supremacy would encourage because that’s not how white supremacy functions. And we know that the way Izzy interacts with Ed is at complete odds to white supremacist viewpoints where whiteness can never be placed as subordinate to a poc.

But, if you want to see a place that this white supremacy does show up, you can look to the British navy as a much more cut and dry example of how Ed’s violence and physical ability is treated under colonization.

At no point in the show do we ever see the navy talk about Ed as someone who is intelligent. He’s the legendary Blackbeard, yes, but that isn’t said with admiration. When the navy jumps to accept Ed’s Act of Grace this is because it represents a symbol of English superiority where Blackbeard is able to be brought down and under control. In the same vein, we can see how this can also be used as a way where Edward can act as an example of the civilizing of an Indigenous man. When Edward shaves his beard, dresses in uniform, and conforms to the rules of the navy, he is for the first time exemplifying British masculinity. Ideals of stoicness, cleanliness, rule abiding, orderly. These are all things that make up British identity, not anger or out of control violence. Edward’s surrender is valuable because it signifies that the British goal of “civilizing” poc is working, and allows him to act as an example of that. This goes alongisde a history of Māori men being valued in white society exclusively for their ability in either war or sports, where there’s a precedence of Māori men in the army specifically as something to celebrate.

In a way, you can view Blackbeard the pirate and Edward, the king’s soldier, as playing out a fantasy of white supremacy where this dichotomy showcases the binary view of Māori men and their masculinity. Consider this film analysis of Crooked Earth as an exmple.

There’s a distinct polarization here, another reason why I’d strongly disagree with the assertion that Ed post-Act of Grace is living his truest, most happy self.

So, again, I just? Don’t vibe with the idea that Izzy is forcing Ed to act out a caricature of violence. I think there’s too much complexity Izzy affords to Ed for him to view Ed as a caricature, and that him valuing Ed’s intelligence is inherently at odds with the colonialist view of Māori men. More than that, I think taking away Ed’s agency and portraying him as someone who is being manipulated into violence against his will, plays into ideals of presenting Māori men as mentally deficient in comparison to white men. It continues a viewpoint that they’re simply misguided and acting out on their baser instincts. By presenting Ed as a puppet to Izzy, Ed loses his autonomy and becomes a weapon in the hands of white men. (and also opens up a LOT of questionable assumptions about what it means to then view Stede as a gateway for Ed to escape that life by presenting aristocracy as an alternative which imo would be a much more cut and dry example of how the British view moc as a project of civilizing) When in reality, Ed has purposefully crafted his image of Blackbeard as a way of utilizing his reputation in careful directed ways to elevate his pirating career.

Also, because I’m trying to encourage people to always check sources and look things up for themselves but am too lazy to do in text citations, if you want to read more about Māori masculinity, colonization, and violence here’s a few sources! [x] [x] [x] [x]

(just saying but even tho I am a poc, I am not Māori and I’m also in the process of learning more!)

#unfortunately i will not be discussing this further bc i am annoyed at the way white people engage with discussions of racism #and i really dont care to continue explaining the basic structures of white supremacy as people desperately try to figure out a way to #misapply racial theory when convenient #while ignoring the implications of these narratives and never considering the role of whiteness beyond basic lip service #because the form of whiteness and masculinity stede presents is a more comfortable and familiar version #while basing things off of vibes and personal experience regardless of how applicable this actually is #while i have to actually read and learn things to have it dismissed as #‘well he may not be a colonizer but this FEELS like colonization to me’#as if that means anything of value

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funnylittlefella · 4 years ago

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My problem with the fashion in miraculous.

Part 1 Marinette.

This is going to be a long rant on why I don’t like the fashion in miraculous, which seems very negative but it’s probably just me over analyzing everything.

In 2015 Miraculous: tales of ladybug and chat noir was released, at the time there were already other rivaling cartoons (such as Star vs the forces of evil, Steven Universe and Gravity falls being the most popular ones) What made Miraculous stand out from other cartoons that were aimed for kids/preteens was the 3D animation, this made the show quite popular, especially since Disney's new 3D animated films such as Frozen, Tangled and Big Hero Six was quite popular especially on tumblr (because of the re-colours and redesigns of Rapunzel/Elsa and whoever else into a hipster or some other god awful fashion trend from 2010-2016)

Miraculous is STILL airing today meaning that when I was in grade 6 I was watching it, now I'm in my last year of highschool and we are finally seeing development in the show (sorry) however we have not seen any character changes in clothing which I know we don't see much but I feel as if Marinette wears the same 4 outfits and I WOULD LOVE to see a storyline where Marinette is maturing and decides to change her hairstyle and her clothing choices.

Lets analyse Marinette's everyday outfit.

Marinette wears a white singlet top(tank top?) with a black outline/trim, on the singlet top we see a flower design that appears to be a cherry blossom or lotus. Over the top of the shirt she wears a dark grey blazer jacket with a white inside with pink polka dots, she sports this same material but inverted so it is pink with white dots on her purse. For the bottoms she wears hot pink jeans which appear to have the same polka dot pattern on the cuffs as the jacket she wears, the jeans also have some weird ripped/line structure too them which has been added with a white stitching. She wears baby pink ballet flats with a slight heel and black lining and a bow.

I don’t really like this outfit, it’s very boring and I think that Marinette being an aspiring fashion designer would wear something bold that shows off her skills and her own personal style. I also believe that Marinette would be on trend, while being ladybug could potentially leave her with not enough time to come up with new designs, I think it would be a good concept for Marinette to be wearing a new design once in a while. (Even though I know it will be the same polka dot,baby pink, flower fabric that marinette seems to have 10000 yards of.)

For example, in Gravity Falls Mable would wear a different sweater each episode (don’t quote me on that I could be wrong)

Mabel wore the same structure of outfit each episode yes, but it was new each time. And while I wouldn’t consider this the height of fashion, it suits Mabels personality and shows that she is different from the other characters who wear the same outfit every episode.

SPOILERS FOR GRAVITY FALLS

Mabels constant changing of sweaters shows the chaos of her character, you never know what to expect with her, which is why she played a vital role in Bills plan, she was unpredictable and let her ego and own happiness succumb to her chaotic actions.

This would be an easy concept to implement into miraculous and would fit with the context, perhaps Marinette would make a new piece of clothing to wear each episode, it could start off with smaller accessories that slowly develop into larger pieces. If Marinette is sad, it could reflect in the item she chooses to make.

However that isn’t the main problem of the outfits, my problem is that I hate them, I’m not judging you if you like them in any way,shape or form, but personally I cannot see a normal teenager wearing these outfits, there is only few characters whose outfits actually make sense.

For example, Marinettes outfit feels more mature, as if she is working in an office, this does not fit her character at all, and while the colours are bright, the structure and presentation of the pieces gives off the boring dull feeling of working in an office and makes her look much older.

Now here is what I would’ve liked Marinette to wear each season. (considering the dates of releases)

Season 1 2015

In season one we are introduced to Marinette, considering Marinettes age 13. Bare with me, I understand these years are arguably the worst for fashion.

The reason why I picked this outfit is because it reminds me of Marinette, Taking inspiration from 2015 trends, we see Marinette following basic trends such as off the shoulder and denim materials, however, I believe she would add her own style by adding the polka dot pattern to the inside of the jacket (like her original blazer) and the skirt. This look is generally what I would consider to be basic Marinette, she could wear this throughout each season since it is a outfit that could fit into any time frame (2000s-2020) with a few alterations.

Season 2 2016.

2016 was also not a good year for fashion but oh well I digress. This season we get to meet new characters, including new miraculous wielders and love interest. This is also when we get a Marinette birthday episode shower her growth symbolically or whatever.

I decided to add ‘edge’ to this outfit, since we do see Marinette get hurt in a few episodes and struggle with having to choose the right people to wield a miraculous. on the left, I chose a bomber jacket since they were incredibly popular at the time, and dark heels to show Marinettes change, however underneath she wears bright pink jeans and a white turtleneck, this is to show that she is still soft and caring.

Season 3 2019.

this is where it gets much better since the trends and fashion were actually really good this year. We see a lot of important points in this season, we get backstory about characters, learn more about the Miraculous lore, AND we see Marinette be very mature and put Adrien and Kagamis happiness over her own.

This is how I think Marinette would dress and yes they are 4 very different styles, but I think that she would want to show variety not only in her work as a designer, but also as a person, Marinette wants to grow.

Anyways that’s all for now, yes this post is very much all over the place and I start point and leave them without conclusion, but it was fun for me.

EDIT: in my research I decided to change my idea lol, Marinette doesn’t wear the item she makes because it’s too expensive to have a character wear a new outfit each episode, but instead we just see her making a new item.

#alya cesaire #adrien #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #mlb #lukanette #luka couffaine #marichat #chat noir #ml spoilers

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sapphire-innit · 4 years ago

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Saddest Beach Party Ever :(

Watch out for this one folks, it gets a bit dark -- mind the tags (though nothing outside of what you'd expect for.. this episode)

VOD: Tommy Is Left ALONE at his Exile Party with Dream (Start - 35:30)

(rp) I have Absolutely been putting off watching this one because I WILL cry and I am scared

I can't imagine what it was like to watch live and see NO ONE on the beach

He's keeping up a good face, adding more chairs... I'm not looking forward to it setting in.

like fuck man, fuck Dream for chasing of Ghostbur for MULTIPLE reasons but also because no one else even KNEW about the party :(

He's so excited about maybe seeing Tubbo I hate it Thanks

and now he's putting things down for Quackity and adding more things he's still so happy and excited (though you can occasionally see the mask break - there's a lot of nervous energy here)

"Where... no, well go place this" "why did Fundy leave the game" THANKS I HATE IT

Lazer and Fundy have been some of the people who have visited toooo :(

Tommy's face when no one is on the nether path.............. ouch

.............................................................................................

log off right now green demon

log off RIGHT NOW

just stewing in silence ..... painful....

cc!Tommy really is one of the best actors on the server, this hurts quite a bit

............

I know that's Dream joining the call and I hate it

fuck

"I'm running a little late, sorry :)" >:|

fuck, Tommy apologized and tossed his armor immediately INCLUDING HIS GIFT SHOES AND AXE, Dream didn't even ask

Dream of course taking the chance to be '''''''benevolent''''.... probably as a reward for Tommy doing it immediately and without prompting >:|

and ofc Dream just straight up lies about the invites to rub salt into the wound. Cant have Tommy thinking people CARE ABOUT HIM OR ANYTHING.

Even mentioned Tubbo SPECIFICALLY YOU BASTARD "in L'manburg" was that truly necessary bastard

the sun setting... a symbol of hope... the symbol of their friendship.... disappearing into the ocean... I hate it :(

Dream pushing him into eating the cake.. "I've lost my appetite"

just digging in that Tubbo For Sure got the Invite Definitely and no one came except Dream.

"I didn't mind being a little bit late because I thought everyone else would be here" why did he keep pointing out he was late, kept hammering that point home. Like even Dreams attention is not important to Dream? like it has to be earned maybe ..?

"No one cares about me anymore" "that's not true" *BREAKS CAKE* "None of them care about me anymore"

IS HE BREAKING THE PATH OHNOOO ;-;

"No one cares... other than You(Derogatory)"

"Maybe they had something more important" I hate how Dream hides his digs behind sounding consoling it fucking SUCKS

I hate how depressed he sounds, how resigned

....threw away the chicken, and he isn't eating or healing. I knew to watch out for it but its never been this pronounced before. He's down to three hearts ;-;

"I'm pretty sure he burned it, or lost it" I do not believe that for a SECOND Dream, or at least its not as clear cut as it seems. Tubbo CARES ABOUT TOMMY, I *JUST SAW* a clip of him holding the compass aaaaa

ohno

"at least SOMEONE on this entire 30 person server got an invite" "He said he was going to give it to at least 13 people, and at least one person I saw give it in person"

ohno

ohnooooooooooo

he really is gonna toss the compass isn't he nooooooooo

...............

staring into the lava again. "he burned it. On purpose"

Dream quibbling ... but doubling down i hate it

.......its just... so clear he's not only thinking about the compass in lava

Dream shooting at the Ghast,,, telling Tommy to sleep on it, coaxing him back from the edge "almost fell off, careful Tommy" I hate it here

"I don't sleep anymore Dream" "I just want to go home" "Please can I go home" he sounds so broken ;A;

"why can't I stay" :( :( :(

"It's not like they want you anyway Tommy. No one showed up to your party and everyone was invited" And THIS is why Dream tanked the party on purpose. Because if Tommy thinks no one even wants him, he won't even try to get back, and will just stay under Dreams control. There's such a mental and emotional difference and toll from "Outside forces (Dream) are keeping me from going home and maybe I can subvert or change them" and "Home doesn't want me and they're better off without me"

It truly is creepy how Dream is trying to coax him with the Christmas tree, like he's trying to pull this balancing act because he can tell Tommy is on the edge of really giving up and I hate it so much

He still hasn't eaten

"c'monn you want to see the Christmas tree :)" overwriting his feelings as well ugh

"I'm sure if you asked them, they'd say they care about you" I see you invalidating any future concern someone might show him

ALSO TOMMY CALLING EXILE HOME IS SURE SOMETHING

.....him asking Dream to defend him is... painful. Especially having just watched the latest stream where he asked the same of Tubbo right after being triggered as hell ugh. He really has gotten used to being made helpless and depending on Dream, even on the one day he didn't get his armor and weapons taken away from him. He sounds so resigned :(

(( LOL OK THE DNF JOKE WAS PRETTY FUNNY THO))

he's bribing him with the trident and I hate it. Though at least hes enjoying it??? Mixed feelings on that. He ate too and I hate that Dreams honeymoon stage is w o r k i n g )

that is the most sincere I have ever heard Tommy say Dream cares about him and it FUCKING SUCKS

I know we never could have had "Happy Party AU" because Dream never would have allowed people to come and validate Tommy but man Trident tricks w everyone would have been nice

...lol someone pointed out the red looks like blood. the fake girlfriend bits are so Weird

Dream what do you GET out of this, why are you so OBSESSED. He spends so much time here

"I wont bring it up with them because that would be awkward" oof and I bet he won't believe it if anyone says they didn't get the invite will he oof

.. He pulls out the Axe but lets dream actually kill the skeleton, he already put it away before Dream even got on screen how many times do i have to say THANKS I HATE IT HERE before it becomes meaningless

So this was around the point (or maybe a little bit later, but talking about this point) during dsmp where I started seeing it cross my dash without any context and saw a lot of takes about "oh but they didn't get the invite" and I had NO IDEA why Tommy was so upset about what was clearly a misunderstanding or why he was making it such a big deal.... well I get it now

Tommy really really isn't in a place where he can believe someone when they say they didn't get an invite. And it Really Truly WAS a big deal and actually I'm 100% on Tommy's side on this issue now (though I also don't blame the other characters for this: See Big Green Bastard Man who is truly at fault) I can understand completely why he throws it in their face later though

He's doubting if he wants to go back now.. that was exactly the point of it all :(

"Thanks for letting me keep my armor today btw" I hate how sincere Tommy is about this. I hate how Dream has so effectively done this, where Tommy sees it as a FAVOR that Dream doesn't come and blow up all of his things and hard work and THANKS him for it.

People much smarter than me have pointed out how 1:1 this is to real abusive relationships and how well its portrayed. I don't have anything clever or insightful to say here I guess, just that its exhausting and heavy to watch (but also really powerful as well, because we DON'T see shit like this played this realistically, or in this much accurate detail)

I just want Tommy to be out of here safely and realize what is being done to him is WRONG and not his fault and be given a chance to actually heal. I know the likelihood of that in the future, considering whats to come, is also. complicated to say the least.

#dream smp #dream smp liveblog #dsmp exile arc #tommyinnit #c!dream critical #dreamwastaken #abuse tw #gaslighting tw #suicide tw #depression tw

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years ago

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Let’s Talk: Jimin’s & Tae’s confessions (RUN Episode 141)

by Admin 1

Originally, I planned on writing a summary or vmin cut of the RUN episode but then I transcribed Jimin’s and Tae’s confessions and it got me thinking, and now here we are. Instead of a summary here are some of my musings and thoughts about their confessions and how they are right in line with things they’ve said in the past, and even quite recently, as well as how it fits with something Namjoon said in 2020 about them as well. I hope this will at least be somewhat interesting.

So, first, let’s look at Jimin’s confession, since this is longer and was first in the episode:

Jimin’s Confession

Jimin: Sometimes I am blunt. I’m like that at times.

Na PD: Taehyung, has Jimin ever said anything bluntly to you?

Tae: Nowadays, he's really putting in effort to fix that to the point where it rarely happens anymore. Jimin tends to be very hard on himself, which also broke our hearts to see.

Na PD: So, he gets stressed from himself, then gets mad at himself...

Tae: Then gets mad at himself.

Na PD: ...and then he blurts remarks.

(here it was a bit unclear (for me at least) which of the two said which line so I’m sorry if I mixed them up)

Jimin: It’s something I want to be forgiven for.

Tae: But Jiminie being blunt and me being blunt is completely different. Jimin has a kind hearted nature on the regular.

Na PD: Right.

Jimin: Are you usually not like that?

Tae: I’m, well...

The other members stop Tae, since it’s not time for his confession, and instead the question is posed by JK if they forgive Jimin to which everyone says yes.

Tae: You’re innately kind at heart. stretches out hand for handshake.

Jimin: Thank you. Jimin thinks (?) Tae might be going for a fist bump since he gives him his fist instead, which Tae still takes and shakes.

The first thing about this that caught my attention, as well as one of our anons, was the fact that instead of choosing literally any of the other members, Na PD turned to Tae and asked him to verify if something like that (as in Jimin being blunt) ever happened toward him. You could say we’re thinking too much here, interpreting too much into it, and yet it doesn’t change the fact that he chose to ask Tae. Of course it could be because he said at the start of the program that he feels closest to Tae since he heard about him from two of his Wooga squad friends, but it might’ve just as well been because he watched the members for a while already at that point (since they’d already been filming a few hours) and perhaps he did notice how Tae and Jimin naturally gravitate toward each other, have this special bond? Other people who worked with them in the past noticed it, so why wouldn’t he?

There’s actually moment where Jimin turns and says Taehyungie like he wants to ask him something or say something to him which isn’t in the subs and the members don’t notice it either so Jimin never got to actually say whatever he wanted to say. Also, we’ve all seen how Tae and Jimin behaved during the game in the previous episode, how happy, smiley and giggly they were while being silly together.

Then the actual confession itself, Jimin saying that he can be blunt at times, toward others but also especially toward himself. We’ve heard many times from Jimin about how much of a perfectionist he is, how he can get mad at himself for mistakes, how he sometimes speaks without thinking which can end up a bit mean/blunt, and now he’d like to be forgiven for it.

This actually reminded me of something he said to Tae before:

FESTA 2020 from 42:56 min onward (context - the question was: have you felt disappointed in or sorry to the member to your right?):

Jimin: For Taehyung I should say if I compare those two feelings to him I was more hurt than sorry. Over time, it was reversed. Now I don’t feel slighted. I’m more sorry about things. Back then we were buddies so we had a lot of disagreements or didn’t admit that we were wrong. So I felt disappointed about little things. Now he listens to me well so I feel sorry that I talked to him harshly and every little thing.

The last line especially sticks out to me. I know there’s some language nuance here that got lost in translation which wisha mentioned when the FESTA 2020 video was posted (but is now gone since her twt was suspended), and yet it doesn’t change that fact that it fits with Jimin’s confession, how he was harsh to Tae in the past but now feels sorry for it, and with what Tae said, that Jimin is now making an effort to fix that behavior, to not be so blunt/harsh anymore.

It’s so interesting to me to see these mentions of what could be seen as character flaws over the years, things that make them inherently human. Also it fits with what we know about the evolution of vmin, how they used to have disagreements, have issues with proper communication but over time worked on it, got better at it to the point where they can now understand each other by just looking into each other’s eyes, and Tae’s words about Jimin, how he’s an angel, the warmest person he ever met, and now how he has a kind hearted nature, therefore the bluntness is not taking away from it in any way.

There was also something about this in Jimin’s solo RollingStone interview which caught my attention:

(btw, if you haven’t yet, I highly recommend reading the main and solo RollingStone interviews because they are really, really good!)

Taehyung’s confession

Tae: Compared to the other members, I’m very lazy. Once I’ve set my mind on something, to get that into action, it takes me up to 2 months. I’m start working out, then quit. I’ve quit projects midway too. I’m the type where if I’m not feeling it, I don’t do it. There are times when I feel sorry to the members.

Someone (I can’t pinpoint the voice): How would be summarize this?

Jimin: You’d usually call this as “irresponsible”. He lacks responsibility,

Tae: I’m still an amateur.

Na PD: “I lack responsibility and am lazy”. Is that how we can understand it?

Tae: Yes.

Jimin: To be honest, we don’t think it’s to that extent, but if that’s what he feels... we forgive him.

Something I love about what Jimin said (in far fewer words than I will use because you know me, I can’t keep myself short) is that he essentially did two things at once, being: he assured Tae (and the viewers) that him and the members think differently, don’t see it as severely as Tae does himself, and then he also acknowledged the validity of Tae’s words, that even if Jimin doesn’t agree with him, Jimin knows that those feelings are still valid, that that’s what Tae feels and that, at the end of the day, even if the members don’t agree, they can’t change Tae’s mind, can’t force him into seeing things differently. The only person who can do that is Tae himself, and that’s okay. Jimin and the other members will still quietly support and reassure him when needed until he’ll “fix” this weakness, if that is something he wants to do.

This really shows how in tune with Tae Jimin is, but also how emotionally intelligent he is. Beautiful. Also, notice how Jimin said that without being asked to do so, which will come into play again a little later in this post and why I point it out specifically again.

Listening (or rather reading along) as Tae said that, it reminded me of something he said a few months ago:

Taehyung BE-hind Story Interview from 5:49 min onward:

Q: How do you cope when it’s hard to work/with these situations?

Tae: I’m very true to my emotions so uh...if I can’t write the songs or can’t come up with a title I just don’t. Like now!

Yoongi: That’s actually the best way.

Tae: I just don’t write it like how I’m doing it now, and I don’t want to be pressured to create something against my will.

Yoongi: It’s not like you have to finish a song within a day or two?

Tae: Right! So I’ve been taking some rest for about four months now. Now that I’m resting for four months...

Yoongi: Wasn’t your mixtape supposed to be out last year?

Tae: The mixtape that was supposed to happen last year was postponed. I should be in a state full of emotions right now, but I haven’t reached it yet. It’s like...my first mixtape so I want to feel that satisfaction when I release it whenever that time will be.

Yoongi: That’s why you have to finish the whole thing while you’re at it...

Tae: Yes.

Yoongi: ...or else it takes too long to finish it. So, you have to finish it within that period.

Tae: Right.

Yoongi: I’m guessing you might’ve missed the time.

The thing though is that what Tae said, that if he doesn’t feel it, he won’t do it/finish it, that just shows how much of an artist he is, how much his art truly matters to him, and how important it is to him that his art, in this case his music, turns out just the way he wants it to or else he won’t finish it or release it. And while Tae might call this “irresponsible”, I don’t think it’s that in this case, or that it’s a sign of laziness either, though just like Jimin, I don’t want to invalidate his feelings either. All I want to bring across is how in the context of his music, this isn’t a weakness or flaw, even if it might seem like it, especially in their line of work with deadlines, schedules and plans made weeks and months in advance where, usually, you can’t just take a four month break.

So, in that regard, I can understand how it can feel like a flaw to him, make him feel guilty about it and sorry to the members who in this case might rely on him to get something done on time and he might not do it, or not without forcing himself to do it or being dissatisfied, you know what I mean?

Earlier today Tae was on weverse and answered a few questions about his mixtape (though I have a feeling it really is time for ARMY to stop asking him about it and just let him breath) where he said that even though he got a song from someone and made ten himself, even with that break he took according to his BE interview, the songs just aren’t what he wanted them to be and thus he decided to start again.

Some could say it’s again a case of him being irresponsible the way he characterized it during the RUN episode, that even though he said last year he was almost done and would release it soon it ended up being postponed and now he started over again, but once again I think it just shows how very important his music is to him, and therefore I’d actually call it a strength. It shows how valuable his artistic expression is to him, to create music the way he wants to, at his own pace, and only release it once he feels it’s right.

One more thing, just like I said in the intro of this post, Jimin and Tae jumping in to assure the other, reminded me of something Namjoon said during his Map of the Soul : 7 vlive last year:

The context is a little different, but I think it’s still valid here as well, how Tae and Jimin made excuses for each other, how Tae immediately softened how harsh Jimin’s own words about himself might come across, assured both us and Jimin that really he has a kind heart despite this weakness, and then also Jimin by saying that things aren’t as bad as Tae makes them seem either. It’s interesting to really see something play out in a manner similar to what another member said about them based on having been with Jimin and Tae for the last nearly ten years.

Whoever claims that BTS just play out concepts or “plots” and characters given to them by the company really should just take a seat and stop. I mean, sure they all have a sort of persona they embody in front of the camera, at least to a certain degree, they’ve spoken about that numerous times, but they are still humans with flaws and their own dynamics between each other away from the cameras which, logically, also come across on camera as well, not always but enough for us to pick up on it. And in this case, with these confessions during RUN, we saw something that we previously only really heard about happen right in front of us proving (not that they have to prove anything to us, of course, we should simply trust them and what they tell us) that it really is that way.

Here’s the anon I mentioned earlier:

From anon: It might just be me lol but I think rather than Jimin forgetting he's being filmed for a show (with all those members of staff as onlookers as well) and blowing a kiss at Tae / blowing on Tae's chest, he probably just noticed a tiny bit of lint or fluff on Tae's cardigan or mic and decided to blow it off... Of course, if that was the case, that still reveals their high level of intimacy and the fact that even when interacting infront of strangers they seem to be unable to stop showing exactly how tuned into each other they are... I don't think it's a coincidence that Na PD chose to ask Tae, of all the members, to verify Jimin's statement about his flaw. He was probably observing them all day and noticed how particularly close they were, even amongst all the extremely close members.

#vmin #Jimin #Taehyung #BTS #BTS RUN episode 141

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huntertales · 4 years ago

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Part Two: Vices And Virtues. (Rock And A Hard Place S09E08)

Episode Summary: Sheriff Jody Mills enlists the help of Y/N and the Winchesters to help investigate multiple kidnappings that belonged to the same chastity group. The three decide to infiltrate the group for themselves. But things go wrong when Y/N and Dean disappear. Sam and Jody must rescue them before it’s too late. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Warning: Descriptions of intimacy Word Count: 5,728.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

A/N: I tried something with this part...don’t know if it’s gonna come out good or totally suck. Obviously you guys know what you’re getting yourself into with the context of this episode. I really didn’t know how to add proper warning that would make sense, so bare with me. Obviously read at your own discretion. I hope you guys enjoy!

You'd do just about anything for a hunt if it meant an innocent life could be saved from disaster, or worse, death. YAnd you did your fair share of stupid things over the years. Sitting here in an abstinence support group after regaining your virginity was on the top of the list. You sat on one of the fold-out wooden chairs and patiently waited for your first and only meeting of "Abstinence Purifies Us" to begin. It seemed the group was going to be much larger than you realized it was going to be when you saw a crowd of women come into the room designated for things such as this. What you noticed right away when everyone formed a circle to start the meeting was that there was not a single man in sight besides the brothers.

While you continued waiting, you went on thinking about how regaining your virginity at your age would be slightly strange as well, presuming almost all of the group in the group were going to be those who were high school aged to some in their twenties. You were a bit surprised to see a few who appeared to be possibly other than you. Perhaps they were like you, born-again virgins like you who wanted a fresh start in life. You folded your hands in your lap and patiently waited for everyone to join and get started.

“Good afternoon, everyone. I’m Suzy.” The woman sitting at the head of the circle spoke up and introduced herself after spotting a few new faces in the group. “I’d thought we’d begin with a silent prayer for our missing friends.”

You and Sam closed your eyes and lowered your head out of respect for everyone else when they did the same. Dean didn't see much of the point, seeming to be lost in his own personal thoughts when he stared at Suzy to follow her directions. You opened your eyes to check up on Dean, only to see he was being stubborn as usual. You cleared your throat and shot him a warning glare to play along. He quickly did as everyone else, knowing it was better to go along with the part without causing too much suspension. You rolled your eyes before shutting them again for a few more seconds before Suzy concluded the prayer.

“Now,” Suzy finally moved on to the actual beginning of the meeting after getting the formalities out of the way. “Does anyone have anything they’d like to share?”

"I wrote a new piece of verse." A young woman eagerly raised her hand, deciding to go before anyone else could try. She picked up a pink piece of paper and stood up from her seat. "It's called 'Sex is a racket, and God's ball is in your tennis court."

You were expecting to hear all sorts of different things during this meeting, but that one not one of them. You had to cover your hand with your mouth to keep the smile that crossed your face from showing how ridiculous the work sounded. You quickly composed yourself when you caught the disapproving shake of the head from Sam. You wanted to hear what was written, but it seemed Suzy declined the offer, not wanting to hear it today. It seemed she was trying to save the new members from not coming back next time for a bad first experience.

“And we would love to hear that, Tammy—later.” Suzy politely shot down the woman from letting her read to the group. You swore a few people seemed relieved at not being forced to listen to another one of the woman’s works. Tammy's smile slowly fell from her lips at being shot down from her writing she spent working so hard on. She sank down to her seat as Suzy directed her attention to you and the boys. “Why don’t we hear from our new friends? Sam, what brought you here to reclaim your virginity?”

You looked over at the younger Winchester to hear his response. He suddenly appeared to be a deer in headlights when everyone's eyes landed on him, curious to see what his answer was going to be. He wasn't sure what to say, in all honesty, he decided to go with the truth. "Well, I guess because every woman I've ever had relations with, uh...it...hasn't ended well."

“He’s not lying.” You mumbled to yourself, knowing from personal experience. It seemed your comment didn’t go unnoticed from the man himself. You turned your head to see his infamous bitch face flash in your direction. “What? Sorry, Sammy, but it’s the truth.”

“Thank you for sharing, Sam. Stay strong. Stay pure.” Suzy said. The motto was chanted by everyone else in the group before the next person was up to share. And from the way it seemed to be, you were up next. “What about you, Y/N? What set you on the path away from sin?”

"Well, I guess I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I feel at this point in my life I need a fresh start. I haven't liked the way it's turned out since I lost my virginity." You began with your reason why you were here, thinking quick on your feet for a reasonable answer. Sometimes honesty was the best policy. So you went from there. "Funny enough, I gave it up pretty late in life. I was actually a virgin up until I was twenty-seven. Sex wasn't important to me. I was focused on other things. And if I'm being honest...I was scared to give it up to anyone else. It's such an intimate thing for someone to do. Sure, some might think sex is fun, and while they—"

You wanted to say that someone had the right to have sex with whoever they wanted, a natural reaction when it came to your way of thinking. You managed to bite your tongue in time before you could say it, remembering the crowd you were speaking to. "Basically, I wasn't in a rush to lose it. But I knew who I secretly wanted to be my first."

You turned your head to look over at Dean, a smile creeping across your lips at the honesty even he didn't know about. "It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. We just said our first 'I love yous' to each other and somehow one thing led to another…and we made love in the backseat of his old Chevy. It was out in the middle of an empty field at night, just the two of us with the radio playing in the background. All of it felt perfect, if I’m being honest.”

You swore you saw a few ladies drift off into personal thought of what it might have been like. A sort of dreamy expression when they saw Dean. He looked like the kind of guy who could charm the pants off anyone. While they were saving themselves for marriage, you saw the wandering eyes, the hidden lust even they couldn't ignore. A little bit of satisfaction came over you knowing he was all yours to keep.

“I realized a lot of bad things feel good in the moment. I had to learn the hard way temptations like mine come with consequences." You went on. "I discovered mine the morning after I gave up my virginity. It turned out Dean was doing something behind my back, something that broke my heart."

"He cheated on you?" Bonnie felt the need to cut in, her pretend sympathetic expression was hidden behind a told-you-so kind of tone.

"Sure. He...cheated on me." You went on with the lie, knowing the truth would sound bonkers to these kinds of people. "Anyway, what trust I thought I had in him disappeared. Lying to me about something like that hurt me. I guess it was God's way of punishing me. But I didn't listen. I ended up doing some other things I regretted."

"This is a safe space, Y/N." Suzy reassured you after falling silent, wanting to act as if you were still guilt ridden to this very day. "Anything you admit today will not be faced with judgement. We're here to help one another. Confession can be a great way to start over."

"During our breakup, we decided to go our separate ways for a while. Dean dated a nice woman while I stayed single. However, while I tried to be good, I lost myself again to the temptation of sin. One day when I was feeling my lowest and drinking way too much. Sam and I..." The ladies all collectively raised their brows, curious and hanging off your every word about what you were going to say. You let out a sigh, pretending as if you had been holding your breath. "We had sex. I mean, it wasn't like what Dean and I had. It was mindless, rough sex. Our souls weren't in it. Sex always seems like a good idea because it feels good. That is, until you come down from the high and realize what did."

"And you never did it again?" Bonnie asked you, her little too wide-eyed stare pointed in your direction from what you admitted.

"Oh, no. We hooked up on and off for a year behind Dean's back. And we denied it every time he asked us." You said, adding fuel to the discomfort slowly growing across Bonnie's face the more she heard. "But it made me realize how much I loved my boyfriend. Whenever I slept with someone else, it didn't feel right. And I'm sure he would say the same thing with every chick he brought back from the bars before we started dating. If anything, his biggest sin would be the slew of sloppy one night stands." You turned your head and gave the older Winchester a bright smile as you reached out to grab his hand and embraced with your own. "Right, honey?"

"Thank you for that...interesting share, Y/N." Suzy said. From the looks of it, she was still trying to wrap her head around the details you painted for her and the group. Everyone chanted their slogan to you before moving on to the next person up to share. "And what about you, Dean?"

"Like my loving girlfriend has told you, I have a history of one-night stands. I wasn't a prude. To me, Sex has always felt—I don't know—good, you know? Relationships weren’t for me. It was always too...complicated. It was better to hit it and quit it.” Dean chuckled at the joke that sounded funny to him, but landed on deaf ears. His smile slowly faded as he got more serious to match the tone of the room. “That was until I met Y/N. If there’s one thing I learned while we’ve been together, it’s the thrill of getting to know the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. And I guess like your virginity, you want to give it to someone special. You want to give all of yourself away to this person. For a long time I thought that wasn't for me. Sex has always been about the pleasure. It was fun. You know?”

Dean was trying his best to work with the crowd to try and get them to understand where he was coming from here. But it seemed he lost them again. Nevertheless, he went on with his confession. "But, uh...sometimes all those hookups make you feel bad, you know? You're drunk. You shack up. Then, it's the whole morning thing. You know, 'Hey, that was fun.' And then, 'adios,' you know? Always the 'adios.'

"I got tired of that. I hated filling the void in my heart with something temporary. I guess life kicked me in the pants at some point and made me realize what I really wanted. I wanted Y/N. And I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And, yeah, we kind of did things backwards...had a few bumps in the road. But isn't that what life is all about?” A few women nodded their head in agreement while the others verbally answered. "If anything, being in a long committed relationship made me appreciate how sex can be something meaningful."

You had to admit, Dean had you in the first half of what he was saying. He sounded genuine with his words, as if he was putting his heart into this and playing up the role to make a good impression. Until it veered in the direction you should've feared. "Like I said, sex has always been fun. I'm not denying that. And it's even better with a life-long partner. You get to explore their body in an intimate way no one else will ever be able to do. Know what makes them go crazy . Isn’t that what it comes down to, right?

"There's the touching and the feeling all of each other, knowing exactly where to go that gets them all excited. There’s no fumbling around. You just get straight to the point.” Dean was officially having too much fun at this point when he realized almost everyone was hooked in his words, yourself included. He dropped his voice so it was lower, almost sensual. “My favorite part is being able to trace every inch of her body, touching the places that only I get to see. In the moment it’s just the two of us moving together, pressing and pulling...grinding."

Dean was and always will be a flirt, it was in his personality. A special skill set of his that you admired even before got together with him. Sometimes all it took was a pretty smile for you to feel swooned. While he might annoy you with that mouth of his most of the time, he also could get you in the mood. And it seemed you weren’t the only one starting to awkwardly shift in your seat from the way he was going on. You scratched the back of your ear as you tried to keep yourself focused and not lulled into a fantasy while he went on.

“You forget about everything and everyone around you when you hit that perfect spot. All you can think about is reaching the end. And slowly, everything just builds and builds and builds until it all just..." Dean made an explosive noise to sneakily hint at what he was saying, trying to keep it family friendly. Tammy found herself lost in the moment, crushing the paper with her written verse, as if she was trying to calm herself down.

Sam was starting to hate his brother at the moment. The room shifted to an awkward tone after hearing what kind of filth Dean thought would be appropriate enough to speak about. Simple talk that got even the prudent of virgins fidgeting in their seats. You weren’t saved from his ever present glare when you happened to feel his lingering stare upon you. You guessed it was for the confession you made yourself, and not stopping Dean when you should’ve. You innocently shrugged your shoulders and looked on, never admitting to the fact you were lost in the moment like every other woman here. Sam’s expression changed into his infamous bitchface to his brother, appearing again in the span of a few minutes.

“But the whole thing was just a little too, uh...sticky. And complicated. So, uh, I got my ‘V’ card back so I can do things right.” Dean topped off his confession with a smile and a slap to his knee. “The end.”

After Dean’s explicit confession, the meeting continued on like normal without anything titillating details from the other members. You half-listened to everyone else as they took the opportunity to confess themselves of what almost tempted them this week along with a couple of Bible verses being read aloud to help strengthen the bond to their abstinence before wrapping up things. You helped clean up the chairs and tidy up things, deciding it was the least you could do after your share.

Luckily the meeting continued on like normal without anything else more...exciting from the other members. You half listened to everyone take the opportunity to confess this week what tempted them and a couple of Bible verses before wrapping up. You helped clean up the chairs and tidy things up, deciding to be a little bit respectful after the share you had. To be honest, you said all of those things out of fun, knowing your sexual history was a tad bit odd compared to most.

You made your way back over to the boys after all of you did your share to help clean up the place, letting everyone else mingle among one another. Sam didn’t waste a second after getting you and Dean to enough of a deserted spot to share his discomfort felt during the entire meeting because of the both of you. You broke out into a smile even before he could get the words out.

“So, wee bit of an over share, guys?” Sam sarcastically asked you, still squirming around at the details forever burned in his mind. You let out a chuckle in amusement. “It’s not funny, Y/N.”

“Kind of is, Sammy.” You teased him.

“I was purifying.” Dean said, going to his defense about the reason why he went so graphic. He found himself losing track of focus when he spotted the consular, Suzy, talking to one of the members. “Hey, she look familiar to you? Swear I know her from somewhere.”

“Pack it up, Casanova. That stupid line might work, but you’re not single anymore.” You reminded him.

“Oh, sweetheart, there’s no one in this world I want to give up my virginity to again besides you.” Dean laid it on thick with the flirtation when you took his words the wrong way. You rolled your eyes. “Seriously. It’s bugging me. Come on, let’s go find out.”

You felt a tap on your shoulder, delaying you from responding to Dean’s request. You looked over to see it was Bonnie standing there with a too wide of a smile. “I’ll catch up in a second, hun. The girls need to talk.” You joked with Dean, nodding your head to Bonnie. He escaped before he could find out what she wanted to talk to you about. You returned the smile when you glanced back over to her. “Hey.”

“So?” She asked you, curious for you to answer something you had no idea what for. You raised your brows and continued to smile, wondering what the hell she was baiting. “How did you like the meeting? That was quite a share.”

“I loved it. I know, but I feel so comfortable around you guys. This is the first time I’ve ever come clean about this stuff to someone else.” You said. You decided to play along for the hell of it, laying on the act extra thick as you went on. “You know, I couldn't help but think of those who weren't here.”

“Oh. Honor. She's my favorite.” Bonnie said, sadly smiling at the mention of the missing member. Before she could continue this riveting conversation, Bonnie found her attention lingering over to the snack table where she saw one of the women sneaking an extra snack for later. “Would you excuse me?”

“Of course.” You said, stepping out of the way to Bonnie could tend to whatever needed her attention. You thought you might be able to finally sneak away and join Dean, who seemed to be in conversation with Suzy. However you were stopped again by another member. She seemed angry for some reason. “Oh. Hi, there.”

“Her favorite?” She ignored your friendly greeting, too worked up at what she overheard Bonnie say. “She has no idea what kind of girl Honor is.”

“You don't say. Uh, Tammy, right? The poet?” You asked, remembering her name from the horrible poem verse you were able to avoid. She nodded her head. You looked around to see where Sam was, hoping you might be able to sneak away, only it seemed he had your luck when he was cornered by Bonnie after she squashed whatever pulled her away. You withheld the urge to sigh and turned your attention back to her. “Tammy, why don't don't you tell me what kind of girl Honor is?”

That was the wrong thing to ask. She went on a rampage of what kind of person Honor was. You tried your hardest to sound interested as you nodded your head every once in a while, trying to be polite. This wasn’t the kind of stuff you cared for. Or would help the case. “And I bake real cookies for the bake sale. Honor just brings Oreos!” She went on, making you pretend to be shocked. “I mean, she’s not as innocent as everyone thinks she is.”

“What do you mean by that?” You asked her, your tone shifting into a more serious one.

“All I’m saying is that she’s going to hell.” Tammy said. “And you would be too if you didn’t confess those things and come here to repurify yourself. I bet you feel so much better.”

“For sure. I mean, I already been to hell twice. Not fun.” You said. You let out a breath of relief when Dean waved his arm up in the air, catching your attention. His face scrunching up in confusion as to why you were still talking to Tammy. “Could you excuse me? My boyfriend needs me.”

“Is that supposed to be like some kind of metaphor…?” Tammy’s expression dropped at hearing what you just said, making her confused. “Oh! Nice talking to you!”

You politely smiled before turning around and finally headed over to Dean and Suzy, wondering what kind of trouble he was getting himself into during your short time away. You doubt he made a good impression on the woman. But it seemed she wasn’t as quick to judge one from the way she was casually speaking to him, no spouts of words about the damnation he was going to face after death. She seemed the most approachable out of anyone here. Maybe that’s why she was in charge of running the group here. You politely squeezed yourself into the conversation when Suzy spotted you lingering before she smiled, welcoming you right in.

“I hope he’s not bothering you too much.” You playfully joked with the woman. “Dean tends to get a bit excited about these kinds of things. If there’s anything he loves more than me it’s God.”

“Suzy and I were just talking. I swear I’ve seen her face before. I just can’t put my finger on it.” Dean said. “But we were also discussing the fact that she does private counseling.”

“Really? So everyone in the group dishes to you?” You asked curiously.

“They confide. Abstinence is really rough without support and education. It’s a wonderful thing the both of you decided to go on this journey together.” Suzy said, smiling in a kind of way that was admirable for the clear love you and Dean had for each other. And yet you could see there was almost a sadness behind it, almost envious. “Hey, you know what? I have some great books on the vow that really helped me. I live close. I'll just go grab them.”

“No, that’s okay—“ Dean tried to protest the idea of making Suzy go through all the trouble, wanting more to get back to the motel. You quickly cut him off, making his grip around your waist tighten ever so much.

“With a kidnapper on the loose? We can go with you.” You suggested. Out of anyone, Suzy seemed like a sweet woman who wasn’t going to bombard you with guilt over your past behavior. Maybe if you got her alone she might be able to tell you something about Honor and the other missing couple. “Let Dean and I walk you home.”

“No, I'll be fine.” Suzy reassured you.

“Please. It’s the least we could do. Just to be safe.” You told her. When you saw the woman let out a breath, almost as if she was a bit relieved, you smiled. “Just let us pop over to Sam and we’ll be right back.”

Dean dropped his friendly face when he stepped away from Suzy after unwillingly being dragged around town when he wanted nothing more than to go back to the motel with you. You decided to put your efforts on something more important when you had the opportunity than jump into bed the first chance you got. You lost your virginity late in life, you could wait a little while to lose it again. You made your way over to Sam after he wrapped up a conversation with Tammy after he was cornered by the young woman. It seemed she had the same effect on the man from the expression that lingered on his face after she left.

“Hey, we’re gonna walk Suzy home. See if she might know anything else about the vics.” You told the younger man. “Can you stick around here and possibly talk to the rest of the group? See if you might be able to get anything else out?”

“Yeah, sure.” Sam didn’t seem to buy what you were saying, presuming it was a cheap cover to get out of here and back to the motel. “You know, I’m actually trying to work here. I don’t think it’s fair you two are trying to sneak off.”

“Come on, look. You know if Dean was single he’d be all over Suzy trying to do more than just bring her home.” You said. Sam shrugged at the thought, nodding in agreement. “We’re focused as much as you are on the case. No one’s jumping into bed just yet. We're gonna take Suzy home and see if she might know anything else about the people who went missing."

Sam agreed with the plan from how it sounded coming from you. He waited a few seconds before he nodded his head, letting you and his brother head out with Suzy back to her apartment. Right as Sam turned around to see who else he might be able to speak to, he jumped slightly in surprise at seeing Tammy standing there, a little too wide of a smile on her face when she caught him alone. He managed to hide the sigh that wanted to come out behind a forced smile. He hoped all of this was going to be worth it in the end.

+ + +

The walk to Suzy’s apartment wasn’t too far from the church like she said, the time it took to get there was filled with mindless chatter about what she thought of the town and church. She had nothing but positive things to say since moving here a few months ago herself. You continued on with the fake lie about yourself to keep the conversation going, telling her how you and Dean were planning on getting hitched and how this town was a fresh start for you and the boys. The three of you were a close family after your parents passed away, the only part of your story that was true.

Right away she got to work finding those books she mentioned back at the church. You decided to shrug off your jacket, not sure how long you were going to be here, and decided to look around yourself at how she decorated her place. Suzy mentioned there were quite a few books around here specifically for couples. Your offer to help when asked was granted when she mentioned there were some in a cabinet you were standing next to. You opened up the small door and crouched down to see what she had here. You skimmed her vast collection of books out of partial curiosity to see what an abstinence consular enjoyed to read. When you found what you needed, you cradled them in your arms and got back up, only to discover you felt a strange lingering stare on you. You turned around and spotted Dean’s eyes where they shouldn’t be.

You shot him a warning glare to behave before Suzy caught you. Dean’s smirk when he was caught by you was wiped off his face when you a little too roughly plopped the books down to his hands, Suzy followed suit a few moments later with several more of her own. He muffed a grunt from the several self help books he was forced to carry. You smiled in appreciation and slapped the pile with a little too much force, making him almost lose balance on the books. He struggled to catch them before they could tumble to the ground.

“Thanks, honey.” You cooed. “You’re so strong.”

“Okay. So,” Suzy seemed content at the eight books Dean was currently holding, hoping it would be enough reading material to get started with. “why don't you guys breeze through these, and I'm gonna head to the little girls' room.”

Suzy excused herself before disappearing to another part of her apartment, leaving you and Dean alone in her living room. Dean wasted no time ditching the books somewhere else as you casually looked around the place, all though you weren't sure yet of what you were looking for. It appeared to be like any other bachelorette home. You wandered around the place, glancing over at framed pictures of her life and examining little knick-knacks decorated around the place. Right as you were about to pick up a snowglobe, your cell phone started ringing, distracting you from your search. You looked at the screen to see that it was Sam, probably to check up on you and Dean. You went to answer the call when you spotted a half-open drawer that caught your attention. You let it ring a few more times before you finally answered it, all while opening the drawer just enough to see what was inside, wondering if it was some sort of junk drawer. Only it was much more.

You pulled out a few DVDs that weren't blockbuster movies from the cover. More dirty films from the familiar titles you heard of. You let out a quiet chuckle from the discovery you made. Apparently Miss Abstinence was a former adult star. That's why Dean knew who she was. She had a pretty active role in Casa Erotica, her movie was so good you knew the man kept a downloaded file on his computer. A secret porn stash he thought you knew nothing about. You quickly tucked them back away when an idea popped into your head.

You almost forgot about the call with Sam when you heard his voice from the other line call out your name in a slightly annoyed tone from your delayed response. You closed the drawer with your hip and turned around in your spot so you could casually lean against the dresser. Dean tossed you a confused look from the way you were acting as you finally answered his brother's insensent attempts of getting your attention before he could think the worse.

You half-listened to what he was saying about the case, something about how this wasn't the work of a dragon, but all you could focus on was the sound of Suzy opening up the bathroom door. You told Sam you'd call him back before ending the call. As Suzy stepped back into the living room, you realized the promise you made to Sam was about to be broken. It could've waited until after the hunt was over, but you figured you waited around long enough for your first time.

“I gotta go.” You said, making sure your tone of voice sounded disappointed at how you were skipping out so soon on her. Suzy seemed worried from the way you were acting from the short time she was away. “Oh, it’s nothing. Sam’s just having a bit of trouble. You know men. Always something.”

“Are you sure? It sounds serious.” Dean tried to get himself out of here before he could be pulled into the virtues of why keeping his virginity until marriage was for him. “Maybe we both should make sure he’s all right.”

“That’s okay, honey. He just needs me to pop by the store and pick up some stuff.” You said. The look on Dean’s face was easy to tell he wasn’t buying your lie, despite how it was going to be all for him. He’d find out soon enough. “Thank you for everything, Suzy. I’ll see you at the next meeting.”

Suzy seemed a bit upset at seeing you go so soon before she could properly go through some helpful techniques that you probably could've used. Dean tossed you daggers from leaving him here to spend God knows how long entertaining the consular. You gave him an adoring smile and waved goodbye to your boyfriend, figuring he would be thanking you for leaving him here after the surprise you had planned for him after he got back to the motel.

Rewrite Taglist:

@deansquirreljerkwinchester // @everything-i-tried-was-taken // @starswirlblitz // @supernaturalismydrug // @we-are-band-sexuals // @angiewinchestercas // @kaylinfayezink // @owhatshername1 // @kgbrenner // @cleo-is-my-doggy // @eeyore1988 // @dakota-dream // @lilylovelyxo // @timetravelingginger // @holahellohialoha // @quicksilver123456 // @natashacamillas //@lexi-anastasia //@kaylinfayezink // @deanwnchstr @albot-eh // @rashinyx2002 // @shellybeans // @icantfindacreativeurl // @becs-bunker // @oreosatmidnight // @bands-and-shietz // @fabulousmustachesonapolarbear // @clarewinchester // @releasethekracko // @alex-zeppelin // @mega-mrs-dean-winchester // @theskytraveler // @notmoose94 //@assassinofmasyaf // @caswinchester2000 // @savannah-m-99 // @sunlight-dean // @strayrosesbloom // @that-slytherin-over-there // @1000roughdrafts // @its-medeanwinchester // @simplyhemmings // @dream-believe-and-love // @that-winged-rat // @romanovanoffsstuff // @underthestarrsss // @lady-elena-adeline // @akshi8278

Message me if you would like to be added!

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rolotouto · 3 years ago

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Banjou no Geass Gekijou

Before I post a list with all the games Rolo’s been featured in, here's more about my favorite one: the Nintendo DS board game, Banjou no Geass Gekijou. These are some of the lines you get when you land on Rolo’s squares.

へぇ、すごいですね、ライさんって。　何人もの人の声を、同時に聞き分けられるなんて…僕が必ず分かるのは兄さんの声くらいですよ… Wow, you are amazing, Rai-san. To be able to recognize the voices of multiple people simultaneously... The only one that I recognize without fail is Brother's...

すごいですね、ライさん。人を簡単に笑わせるなんて…僕にはできそうにありません。 You are amazing, Rai-san. Being able to make people laugh so easily... I don’t think I could do it.

ライさんはどうして、そんなに簡単に人を笑わせることができるんですか？あ、いえ…　別にうらやましいとかそういうことではないですけど…　ただ、すごいなって… Rai-san, why are you able to make people laugh so easily? Ah, no... It's not that I am jealous or anything like that... It's just, that it’s so amazing...

I think lines like this show how strong Rolo’s true self is despite being trained as an “emotionless” assassin. The sight of someone making another person happy makes him feel admiration. He had the potential to be a really good kid...

やった！僕の勝ちですね！あ、ごめんなさい…　僕ばかりが楽しんでしまったみたいで…　あ、あの…　また遊んでください！ Yes! I won! Ah, I'm sorry... It seems I ended up being the only one who had fun... U-um... Let's play again next time, please!

And he isn’t just in touch with his own feelings, but also those of the individual he’s interacting with. I wish these pretty scenes with Rai could lead to a Good End where, having gained another person he can trust, Rolo actually started believing in his right to be loved simply by being Rolo, instead of assuming his value is tied to his usefulness as an assassin. But yeah, the Good Ends have him killing Rai, so I guess deep-rooted beliefs take long to change...

えっ！事故に遭ったんですか！…兄さんはッ！にィ~さ~んッ！！ Eh! You had an accident?! ...Brother is...! Bro~ther!!

There’s a driving minigame where you play as Rivalz and Lelouch, and this is Rolo’s reaction if you crash Rivalz’s motorbike. Before playing the minigame, Rolo had asked you to please accompany Rivalz-san and Niisan because he(Rolo) doesn’t trust Rivalz-san’s driving skills. I find it amusing that Rolo actually went through the process of learning how to drive a bike and that he probably understands about vehicles (and mechas), while Lelouch likely has no interest or knowledge whatsoever. His fakememory!self was probably initially totally confused by his little sibling’s ability to drive, and it’s things like these that make the time he spent with Rolo be memories with Rolo rather than “with a Nunnally replacement”. Anyway, if you play the driving minigame when Rolo has come to like Rai as well, he will be calmer and say something like “I’m glad Niisan and you are safe”. Rivalz doesn’t even exist for Rolo.

あれ、失敗ですか。もしかしてオモチャのハンマーじゃ本気になれないですか？僕のナイフ…　貸しましょうか？フフフ… Oh, you lost? Maybe it's that you couldn't take it seriously using a toy hammer? Should I lend you... my knife? Fufufu...

This is what you get when you lose on the whac-a-character minigame. Sadly for Rolo, one of the rules in that minigame is not to hit Nunnally.

あ、ライさん。ほら、見てください！兄さんからもらったんです、この回転パズル！ねえ、ライさん。一緒に組み立ててみませんか？ Ah, Rai-san. Look, look at this! I received it from Brother, this rotation puzzle! Hey, Rai-san, why don't we assemble it together?

思ったより簡単にできましたね、ライさん。でも、せっかく兄さんがくれたものなんですから今度はひとりでやってみます。じゃあ… You were able to do it more easily than I thought, Rai-san. But since it's something that Brother gave me, next time I'll try to do it on my own. Well then...

Rolo allowing others to play with something given to him by Niisan? And poor Victor from the OSI had to get killed after touching his locket...

The next part needs some context first. This is from when you overhear his conversation with Villetta and Lelouch at the basement. Once he notices you there, he'll normally just kill you instantly, but if you visit them after he's already grown to like you, he hesitates and, seeing how neither Villetta nor Lelouch noticed you, offers to spare your life with the condition that you don't tell anyone what you heard. You can answer "yes" or "no". As one can guess, saying that you won't keep the secret leads to a game over.

First, "yes": じゃあ、これは…　僕らだけの秘密です…　そう…　兄さんにも内緒の…

Then, this is... a secret that is only ours... That's right... a secret even to Brother...

And "no":

なるほど…　僕がバカでした…　やっぱり信じられるのは…　兄さんだけ…　他のヤツなんて… …ライさん。　あなたならわかってくれると思ったのに…　残念です… I see... I was stupid... Indeed, the one that can be trusted... is only Brother... Of course there would be no one else... ...Rai-san. I thought that you would understand, and yet... It's a shame...

It might be because it’s a game and he’s merely letting the player know what’s going to happen, but still, I like that Rolo doesn’t kill Rai right away and instead expresses his emotions to him/her first. Like Rolo barely talks to people he doesn’t feel a connection with, but once he does feel it, the love he has for that person is really important to him. Enough that he’d die mainly to honor those feelings that made him feel human. Lastly, there’s a conversation between Rolo and Lelouch that you get right before Rolo’s route is completed. (Lulu)やあ、ライ。 Hi there, Rai. (Rolo)あ、ライさん。 Ah, Rai-san. ほらな、ロロ。やっぱりライはここに来ただろ？ See, Rolo, Rai did come here after all, didn’t (s)he? う、うん… Y-yeah... 今、ロロと賭けをしてたんだ。ライが15分以内にここに来るかどうかをね。結果は、俺の勝ち。　ロロ、今日の洗濯当番は代わってもらうぞ。 I just made a bet with Rolo on whether you'd arrive here within 15 minutes. The result is I won. Rolo, today you do the laundry instead. う、うん…　あ、で、でも！夕食当番は兄さんだからね！ Y-yes... Ah, b-but! Don’t forget that Brother is in charge of dinner! む、そうだったか…　じゃあ、こうしよう。俺が今からライと何かのミニゲームで対戦する。俺が勝ったら、ロロ。オマエが夕食当番だ。 Hm, was it so?... Well then, let's do this. I'm going to compete with Rai in some minigame now. If I win, Rolo, you take care of dinner. え、また賭け事？ Eh, betting again? そうさ、わかりやすいだろ？ライ、何て対戦する？オセロか？パズルか？何でもいいぞ。 That's right, isn't it simple? Rai, what will we compete in? Othello? Puzzle? Anything will do. 兄さん、水泳はどう？ Brother, what about swimming? なに！？なぜ体力勝負を…！ What!? Why a trial of strength...! 何でもいいって言ったじゃない？ Didn't you say that anything would do? クッ！いいだろう！速く泳ぐ理論はわかっている！負けるわけがない！ライ！水泳で勝負だ！ロロ！オマエは夕食の献立でも考えておくんだな！ Tch! Fine! I know the theory for swimming fast! There's no way I'll lose! Rai! It's a swimming match! Rolo! Start thinking about what to cook for dinner! It’s adorable how Rolo is so comfortable with Lelouch that he isn’t afraid to show him that he wants him to lose. Lelouch is hilariously slow at the swimming minigame despite “knowing the theory” (lol), so usually you’ll win without trying: やった！これで兄さんの手料理が食べられるよ! ありがとう、ライさん！ Yes! Now I can eat Brother's home cooking! Thank you, Rai-san!

チッ…　しかたないな…　晩御飯はビーフストロガノフだ！いいな！ Tch... There's no helping it... Dinner will be beef stroganoff, okay?!

うん！ Yes!

I’m laughing at how in-character it is for Lelouch to loose his cool when he doesn’t win. And notice how Rolo didn’t actually mind cooking dinner himself, he just wanted Lelouch to do it so he could eat his home cooking ♥ You can also just do nothing at all during the minigame so Lelouch can beat you, in which case the conversation goes like: 水泳で兄さんに負けるなんて…ライさん、遅い… To lose against Brother at swimming... Rai-san, you're slow... ロロ、夕食は何か凝ったものが食べたいな…そうだな…流しそうめんなんてどうだ？ Rolo, for dinner I want to eat something elaborate... Let me see... What about flowing noodles? 兄さん…たしかに凝ってるけど…それじゃ昼食みたいだよ…大丈夫、もっと栄養のあるものを作ってあげるから。 Brother... That's certainly elaborate but... then it would be like lunch... It's alright, I'll make you something more nutritious.

頼むぞ、ロロ。 I leave it in your hands, Rolo.

A Japanese person will probably find this funnier and be able to explain it better, but I think the joke is that flowing noodles are really plain in terms of what the food itself is, and that what is elaborate is the process to prepare them (you have to make noodles slide down a structure of bamboo pipes). So Lelouch seems to be deliberately choosing something Rolo can’t possibly prepare just to feel a bit evil? On the other hand, it’s really cute that he will eat Rolo’s cooking. He isn’t disgusted by it or anything, as much as he’d want to convince himself that he hates Rolo… And that’s it. Afterwards you get the endings, in which he kills you. Yeah, he spared your life at the basement, but now he stabs you out of respect, because he wants your ghost to protect Niisan. And he smiles and laughs when saying so too!? Well, to be precise, that’s the ending if you are playing as male!Rai. As female!Rai he seems more pained and doesn’t want you to leave, and it’s not so clear whether he kills you or not. Maybe he kidnaps you, since you simply disappear after Rolo took you to the airport. Creepy stuff... Someone uploaded a video of Rolo’s route, where you can see everything we’ve been talking about. ---- By the way, the official blog for this game was run by staff members who seemed to like Rolo a lot. The blog isn’t available anymore, but you can find the original texts in Japanese through Wayback Machine: part 1, part 2, part 3.

For example:

“I’m now playing through the previous game LOST COLORS and I was chased and killed by Rolo!”

“By the way, I wear Rolo on my employee badge.

It’s cute how Rolo’s charm is shaped like a heart!”

“So, since the anime’s last episode aired, there’s a new DS ‘Banjou no Geass Gekijou’ advertisement. We tried changing Lelouch and Rolo’s lines! Rolo 'Niisan... is cute' You are the one who’s cute-!”

“Good... mor ning. It’s No... zawa... First, um, yeah, I haven’t posted updates. U.... Usui san is the only one who... was... writing... If you’re... wondering... why, on 17th August’s broadcast... Rolo Rolo d... died”

“You can see Rolo in the advertisement... (tear)”

“Lelouch’s emperor outfit... I wanted Rolo to see it” ----- It’s nice to know the staff was allowed to openly fangirl about their favorite characters. Although we already knew that from Sakou-san...

#banjou no geass gekijou #rolo lamperouge #translation #code geass #please rolo stop killing

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unresolvedresolute · 4 years ago

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Give us the tea! Not actually any tea lol but I honnestly felt like it was a mess but also wasnt too sure if this one was on him or not so i would love to get you comment on it. Give us the nerd interest please!

Oh hell yeah. Alright, sorry friends, this is gonna be LONG.

For like 40 minutes of the episode, I was very confused as to what the hell they were doing with the structure, and then I figured it out when Penance and Company head off to Maladie’s hanging: We will spend this week following her mission, and I’m guessing next week, our midseason finale, will be entirely focused on following What Amalia Did Today (which I think is even more likely given that next week’s episode is called “True.”)

This sort of unconventional structuring where we split one episode’s story across two episodes is not common on shows like this that air week-to-week, but we see it all the time on shows on Netflix, Hulu, and other platforms where they drop a season at a time and audiences are expected to binge-watch. There’s no unresolved tension or sitting for a week with your frustrating questions when you know audiences have the option to start up the next episode immediately. Related? The Nevers was EXTREMELY CLOSE to being a Netflix show, like, they were fully prepared to release and distribute it when HBO rather unexpectedly won a bidding war for it, and at that point, much of the season was probably, at the very least, outlined. So I think that the season was probably conceived with the expectation that it would be binge-watched and the last-ditch attempts to modify the episode for weekly viewing without undoing the work they had already done in laying out the plot of the season didn’t work as planned.

Second point, I doubt they were expecting episode 6 to be their mid-season finale. HBO has NEVER done that in how they distribute their shows. The first season was conceived as 10 episodes (I’m now finding sources that say 12 and I’m not sure if it was always 12 and had been misreported or if two more episodes were ordered), but they were interrupted in the middle of filming by COVID shutdowns and Whedon’s departure (and yes, we are now bringing it back to Whedon) extended that production delay indefinitely when they hired an entirely new lead runner rather than promoting someone who was already on the staff (side note: would LOVE to know what happened there). Especially given that they now had no idea when the season would be finished but it wasn’t going to be anytime in 2021, and they were already a year behind schedule and HBO had a programming gap to fill, they decided to go ahead and release the first half of the season.

The issue with that is that Episode 6, never intended as a mid-season finale, now has to function as one, which means giving the audience dramatic plot points, big reveals, and “come back next time” tension to keep people engaged during the indefinite hiatus. So suddenly, they have to retrofit all this stuff into episodes that might not have had it originally. Under normal circumstances, shows can do rewrites and re-shoots when they need to make changes to an episode that’s already done, but with COVID shutdowns, they couldn’t film anything. This leaves the creative team and the studio with only one option: re-cutting material they already have, which can mean cutting scenes that exist in order to cram material into two episodes that may have been intended to be revealed over more, and being unable to give us scenes that might have given more context because they can’t add anything new, which is how you get shit like “NO ONE HAS ACTUALLY EXPLAINED GALANTHI BUT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS NOW GOOD LUCK!” There was no scene giving more context for it originally in the first 6 episodes, and we weren’t able to add one, so they had to do the best they could to make it clear using the context they had and you end up with information gaps, missing pieces, and rushed plot.

Also, when you’re re-cutting episodes and your top priority is “does our very complicated sci-fi plot even make sense??”, things like character development and quieter moments of found family tend to fall by the wayside, with them being viewed as less of a priority when you now have two episodes to get to a big reveal. And, of course, this doesn’t consider that the Penance/Amalia relationship is the heart and soul of the show (even if you put all the shipping aside, they are motivated by each other, we learn about each of them through their relationship with each other, and it is the biggest, clearest piece of humanity we are given to care about in these 5 episodes. their relationship is the show’s biggest generator of emotional investment and the biggest reason people care). So those of us who just wanna see the Victorian wives be gay were gonna be DEEPLY underserved by this one.

Now, the heterosexual nonsense. Here is where I’m absolutely gonna blame Whedon. He’s not the credited writer for this episode, but he did serve as showrunner for the first six episodes, which means he has ultimate authority on what does and doesn’t go into the scripts. The episodes are outlined by all the writers together in a room (which means if the fucking bird garbage somehow, by some miracle, WASN’T his idea, he at least knew about it), and he ultimately gets final approval on every script, which means he can add or take out anything he wants up until the last possible minute. This writer’s room is FULL of women, and there’s no fucking way a woman wrote any of this straight bullshit. This one’s on Whedon through and through.

(DISCLAIMER: I don’t actually know any of this as fact aside from the things that can be verified online like episode titles, episode counts, and the HBO/Netflix deal. This is just me making educated guesses based on my experiences working in TV production and my DEEP study of what goes on in writer’s rooms).

#the nevers #asked and answered

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

Text

Star Vs: Stump Day Review or The Why Are You Booing Tom He’s Right Holiday Special

Before we start a special credit to @jess-the-vampire who I discussed the episode with during the writing process and brought up a LOT of good points that ended up going into this review. She clearly hates it as much as I do and had even more good reasons for it. Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everybody! And today we got a big, fat, grotesque lump of coal to smash to pieces. And after a long, draining, if worth the effort scrooge review, and with this being something I needed to cross off my to do list this holiday season, I put this one here as I could use the cathariss of giving this steaming bowl of elephant piss a good thrashing. As you can tell unlike my usual reviews, I do not like this episode. This isn’t the FIRST i’ve not liked i’ve covered, but it is the first rather infamous one to me i’ve covered and not just a dead possum of an episode I ran into while reguarly covering an otherwise good show like “Quaraller’s Pass” or “Strife of the Party”. This one’s had it coming, making my top 8 worst christmas specials list last year, and while not the series worst outing, that’s a toss up between the finale and marco jr, it’s easily one of them. So while usually I like diving deeply into something good and picking apart while it’s good, if not ignoring any bad aspects, here i’m just going to take a hammer to this thing to explain why it dosen’t work and why it sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms. I might be overstating it a bit but probably not. Nothing really new has happened since the last episode so the only new thing to cover is why i’m doing the episode here instead of after Monster Bash. And the simple reason is that like the Ducktales Halloween and Christmas specials, this episode clearly does not take place in the same time frame of the episode before or after it, with the next episode, The Bog Beast of Bogabah, taking place the day after Monster Bash. It’s most likely they simply held this episode over till Christmas and it dosen’t really fit in AFTER the huge game changer that is monster bash, especailly since the next three episodes after this all take place in rapid sucession, two on the same day one the day after them. So yeah i’m doing this one first and putting it ahead of monster bash on my episode guide for clarity’s sake.

Good, so with all that settled, let’s unwrap this complete works of pauly shore shall we? We open on the titular Stump Day, essentially mewni’s christmas complete with Cocoa, carols and a gay couple and their equally adorable child. And Star, unsuprisingly is giddy for it as the actual chlidren, and wearing an adorable santaesque dress complete with horns on her santa hat. Seriously you cannot tell me tom didn’t get that for her. Fucking precious. Marco is more just confused and has his hood up and one of Star’s cousins asks uncle river to tell him the origin of stump day. River’s response.. is easily the best joke of the episode.

“(in a jolly tone) ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do”

He does so anyway though: Basically when settlers arrived on Mewni they found themselves cold and griping with each other, and soon found a blizzard had struck.. but by huddling together under a magic stump, they all learned to get along or something like that and now once a year everyone gathers in warmth and camraderie.. or else. Before Marco can understandably question what “or else” means in this context, Star butts in when one of her cousins chastises the younger one who asked river the question for beliviing and says he’s real. It’s a nice touch as it fits star perfectly to still belivie in mewni’s horrifying version of santa. I forgot just how adorable and likeable the character was before the final season shot that to hell. How her energy could be infectious and how Eden Sher really brought her all to the performance, which is still the performance of her career and hopefully like Rider Strong she’ll do more voice acting eventually. So that night as Star tucks in after wonderful night of sleep, and to avoid her dad’s usual drunken chorus of Tom Jones “Sex Bomb”, and gets woken up by Marco who leads her to the dining hall because a windows broken to fix it with magic. Star entirely buys this flimsy story.. but as Jess pointed out, and as I missed hence the credit up top... she dosen’t bring her wand. She.. dosen’t bring her wand.. to go fix something with magic. Now i’ll grant next season shows she CAN fully do magic without it, and while not as powerful like her mom still has plenty of punch behind it.. especially when she does the rainbow fist thing. But it’s still.. weird she dosen’t think to grab it and feels out of character. While Star’s learned by this point not to rely on it, and as we’ll see gives it up entirely, one of the few bits of her character development that actually sticks, it still seems resonable she’d take it with her wherever she goes.. and usually SHE DOES. And her jammies, which are also adorable, seem to have pockets so the animators had no reason to not just stuff it in one. It would’ve made their job harder yes.. but then don’t have marco use an excuse that directly requires it then and draws attention to the fact the wand is missing, and the fact you blatantly just hoped we’d forget about it as it’d ruin the climax.

It’s far from the worst thing in this episode..trust me we’re almost there. But this does bring me to a point.. so far the episode is GOOD. The comedy’s good, the setup for what’s about to happen is good, the holdiay setting is warm and inviting but weird enough to perfectly fit mewni, and River, much like his VA and homosexual talking boat portrayer Alan Tudyuk, is a national treasure as always. Whelp it’s all down hill from here bitches! Giddyup.

So Marco announces a SUPRISE PARTY! And everyone’s there: Tom, Kelly, Ponyhead, Starfan14... oh yeah this is the first ep i’ve coverd with Starfan14 isn’t it? Starfan14 is star’s insane fangirl, voiced by series creator Derfron Nercy herself, who star happily tolerates despite clearly wanting to wear her skin. We’ve all been there. Also Jackie is transparently missing, though at least it’s SOMEWHAT reasonable as she and marco broke up a few .. months ago? I mean it is winter on mewni for this episode but the end of season 4 and the series is set at the start of summer, yet months still pass.....

Confusing timeline aside, Jackie has every reason not to attend a party thrown by her ex for the girl who confesed she had feelings for said ex and it’s probably the only good decision Marco makes this entire episode that he wisely decided to give Jackie some space. And it says something a decision made entirely off screen that was probably because the creators genuinely forgot Jackie once she was out of the way so they could shift the love triangle stuff to Tom, Star and Marco instead of you know.. not doing that because most love triangles are annoying at best and utterly insufferable at worst. Case in point this episode but I can give out more about this aspect of things in a bit with more context.

And to his credit, and as Jess backed me up on, Marco’s gesture is genuinely throughtful.. at least to start with. He got her a choclate fountain, brought all of her friends, and geninely just thought Star never celebrated her birthday on her birthday because it was you know the same day as christmas. As someone whose birthday is a week before christmas, December 16th if you were curious, I understand the pain of having your birthday in the same month as christmas. Of having all your presents clustered at once and of having to manuver around a very stressful season, though it does sometimes have perks like getting to celebrate your birthday and christmas, it also means your birthday is secondary and always will be to most people due to proximity. And Star has hers ON mewman christmas, so it’s even worse. So from Marco’s perspective, TO START, his best friend constantly had to share her birthday with her faviorite holiday and just wanted to do something nice. SO FAR, he’s done nothing wrong and just means well. That’s... about to end. Star.. instead of being greatful.. starts muttering no before going on an manic rampage and destroying everything including hte band’s insturments. And apparnetly star’s gotten some flack for her behavior.. but I understand it. To her the stump is VERY real, and will be very angry if someone else celebrates so to her all she’s doing is saving her best friend from the holiday equilvent of the trees from evil dead, and when Marco asks about it she GENUINELY is sorry, getting he meant well, that he was being sweet, and that he did a lot of nice stuff for her.. she just can’t celebrate not because she loves the holiday but because again, from her persepctive, the stump will kill them all if they don’t support it. She is genuinly affraid for her friends lives and given she could go grab her wand and fight it, clearly thinks she, with all her CONSIDERABLE powers, cannot win this, and neither can tom whose powers are almost entirely fire based. Star is just trying to protect her friends from being horribly murdered. And she turns out to be entirely right about it so no, star was not a jerk here. A bit over the top, but she was not insensitive, she was not mean, she just didn’t want a party for understandable reasons.

So let’s get to actually insensitive shall we?! Marco’s reaction to this is at first confusion as he didn’t realize the stump was real, though Tom, Kelly and Pony are convinced it’s not. Also this episode implies Kelly is from mewni, but she turns out not to be so why she knows about the stump I genuinely don’t know. They think it’s just a baby thing.. though in Tom’s defense he dosen’t phrase it that way, thinks star still beliving is cute, which for a teenage boy finding out his girlfriend belivies in santa is very sweet and mature of him, and is trying to be nice about it even if he doesn’t believe. But Marco.. his response to his friend having a good reason for not wanting to have the party.. is to complain about how much effort he put into it and try to guilt and bribe her into having it by mentoining he got her faviorite cake flavor, rainbow. Just.. WOW. I’ve seen some bad turns from characters, but WOWWWWWW. Holy shit.. I mean at least other jerkass marco episodes before this had SOME reasoning to them. Sophmore Slump had him clearly sublimating his feelings for star combined with the usual obnoxiousness of someone having gone abroard for the first time, which as Letterkenny recently went into, the only thing worse is Stillborn Puppies. Nothing else.

youtube

And with Lint Catcher while he was presumptive and not blameless.. river still outright lied to him. Here? It’s clear star dosen’t want this, cake can be refigirated, he only takes a loss on the choclate fountain and he could still just let everyone have some and say it’s for stump day to appease her. He dosen’t have to take a loss on this finacially or morally and there would be no harm done. But that’s.. not what HE wanted, not waht HE set up and he wants what HE wanted, which was to impress star with a thoughtful gesture. But that’s the thing bud: Gestures aren’t about you or what you get. Their about doint something nice for another fucking person. It’s the whole point of christmas and birthdays: To just give someone something to be ncie and to celebrate the day and them respectively. If she dosen’t WANT your gift for understandable reasons and isn’t being rude about it you don’t have any leg to stand on you seflish twatwaffle.

So already Marco is not coming off well.. and if you know this episode you know it gets worse. Oh god it gets worse. So first PONYHEAD of all people calls out Marco.. and for once, PONYHEAD, the most selfish, most unresonable and a character whose tolerablity varies on the episode, tells him he’s being selfish and is only pressing on because of his need to control things. So not only is Ponyhead right but the episode LIKELY wants you to feel she’s wrong because she’s pony which is not how this work as she knows star well and thus, while unaware she still belivied in the stump, which tracks as while it’s obvious she does Pony is so up her own whatever she has that functions as an ass, it’s understandable she’d miss some details. So no Pony’s right, and the fact PONY is one of the more resonable people in this episode is both a sign of the apocalypse, which is thankfully starting to recede, and a clear marker of just how bad Marco’s being if someone who torments him and disagrees with him out of principal is entirely right.

Oh but it gets worse as next up, Tom steps in and tries to get Marco to back out, admitting he told him this was a bad idea. Now granted Tom did mess up by not stepping in to stop this a bit.. but he A) didn’t know how much his girlfriend genuinely belivied in the stump and B) Probably assumed Marco meant well, as would I before he whined about not getting his way, and decided it was worth a try. So he’s not that bad, and while it is a bit ehhh to try and take back credit for this when he participated, it’s still minor and Marco is still being a huge dick who refuses to help shut things down when it’s clear the party is only causing star to have a panic attack and assault some humble marachi players. He sees nothing good is coming from this and just wants what star wants. Also it paints Marco in a worse light as he was warned about this, and was so obssed with making it a suprise party because that’s how his plan went, he refused to just.. talk to her about it. Hell he could’ve just casually asked “Why do you never celebrate your birthday on your birthday”. It’s an easy question, dosen’t give the game away and allows him to gage if this is a good idea or not BEFORE baking a cake , hiring a band and getting a chocolate fountain. Instead he just went ahead with it. And he did so.. because this ISN’T about making Star happy. This is abotu HIM making star happy. Him showing her how thoughtful, and considerate and sweet he is and how he’s always been there for her and how maybe she should be with him instead of Tom. I mean it just comes off that way.. he made it a suprise party because in his head that’s how it worked and she was super impresed and left tom that day to be with him in some elaborate fantasy. Granted the episode dosen’t say this.. but it sure as hell acccidently implies hte hell out of it by having marco act like a selfish ass who refuses to take what STAR wants into consideration, and just wants to get his fantasy back on track. What supports this to me is how he treats tom, you know one of his best friends: He, again, accuses him of forgetting.. then calls him a bad boyfriend.. a bad boyfriend for NOT wanting to force a celebration on his girlfriend she does not want, and for not forcing it on her. For you know GROWING AS A PERSON. Beacuse here’s the pickle pumpernickle: This thing Marco’s doing? Is exactly the kind of thing a pre-character development TOM did, that was rightfully framed as bad. Being controlling, wanting things to go JUST a certain way instead of letting them flow naturally, not getting the hint star isn’t intrested, and not caring about what she wants and only what you want. Marco is doing the same thing Tom used to do. And for starters i’ts already bad because you know MARCO WAS THE ONE WHO FINALLY GOT IT THROUGH TO TOM THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR WAS TOXIC AND SELFISH. But apparently when it’s Marco himself doing it it’s fine. If there was ever any clear evidence Marco regressed as a character, there it is. Him actively unelarning a lesson he taught someone else and then getting combative when that person rightly tries to call him out. Marco is just insufferable in this episode: He’s being selfish, creepy and posseive and he’s apparenlty supposed to, at least on some level BE RIGHT. But.. we will get to that. Consider a pin put in this rant.

So Tom overreacts, and throws some fire at marco, which is genuinely wrong and Kelly’s right to call him out, and then headlocks him asking marco to say he’s a good boyfriend. Marco screams out ‘NEVVVEEEERRRR”

I just made this, by hapinstance, while watching the video I put up there. I.. I did not think i’d get to use this so soon but my god. Just my god that’s a terrible thing to say. So the party soon breaks down elsewhere as Kelly is mad at tom for.. understandable reasons again the guy she has a crush on was just nearly set on fire, even if i’m still on Tom’s side overall here, it’s still not right. Janna points out it’s probably because she has a crush on marco, which while acurate dosen’t mean she was wrong and Tad pops out to be upset about that. Even though you know you two are broken up and as Kelly points out he needs to move out. Pony is mad she’s not getting any attention and Starfan is mad because star’s mad. Star results to desperate measures, opening the windows to try and repeate the act of the settlers. She didn’t however count on the Janna factor as she throws the stump in the fire, which is in chracter. What’s not, and again I give Jess full credit for this one, is that everyone just starts.. warming around the stump and not caring like a bunch of jackasses not caring about their close friend, and in tom’s case, girlfriend’s feelings. Also tom and marco apparently stopped fighting just to be this stupid.

But naturally burning the symbolic stump is a bad idea and the real one attacks. Protip: If you live in a world of magical nonsense, maybe don’t discount the magic stump. Everyone’s captured, including moon and river, with River also being suprised and replying to Star’s annoyance at him not beliving with “Sweetie it’s a stump!”. Alan Tudyk is a god and I feel you all should acknowleddge that. But yeah everything seemsm to be bad but everyone apologizes, if not for the right things in Marco’s case, and Tom says “I’m sorry i’m a bad boyfriend!”. You .. you aren’t. You did nothing wrong. I feel like this is tom for the last agrivating 6 minutes of the episode

He did SOME THINGS wrong but he is NOT a bad boyfriend. He is throughtful, kind and while he has flaws, SO DOES STAR. He is not a bad boyfriend for not wanting to repeat past abusive actions! GAH. Let’s just get on with it. They all hold hands, they thiunk this is what made the stump go away but Star is sure it was just going to kill them, Moon and River have a thousand yard stare as they realize they both have to get repairs for this room now and do an extra big stump day next year to make sure it dosen’t come back. And Marco apologizes to star.. for not beliving her. Not for forcing this on her, not for causing all of this, not at all to tom, but for not beliving her while star FUCKING APOLOGIZES TO HIM. Pin removed, bullshit falling to the floor... Trunks if you would.

Thank you. Star DID NOTHING WRONG. Tom DID LESS WRONG THAN MARCO. WHY ARE THEY APOLOGIZING. Why is this little shithead getting everything he wants as the party happens after all, if a day later, and he gets to dance with star, while everyone else is painted as being in the wrong? That’s what makes this special so putrid: that MARCO is apparently in the right for doing the same , if on a smaller scale, manipulative shit tom used to do before he grew as a person, yet the episode sides with him, props him up and teases Starco. If it’s Starco it’s okay apparently and that’s.. not okay. You can’t .. build a ship on a character acting like a jackass. That’s not how this works. Marco was wrong, he was bad and he should FEEL bad. Instead he’s just a creepy jerk this entire episode, being entitled, manipulating star, screaming at tom.. and gets REWARDED FOR IT. Fuck this episode.

FINAL THOUGHTS: I believe I said Fuck this episode. This is easily one of star vs’ worst episode and much like the season after this episode it gets worse the more you think about it. I put it on my worst holiday episodes list for a reason.. and frankly even with the decent first 4 mintues it should be higher. It’s an unplesant mess that throughly ruins Marco’s character and takes him from a kind, upstanding, polite and bright young man to a creepy manpiulative jackasss. Fuck this episode and have a happy holidays.

#Star Vs the Forces of Evil #star butterfly #marco diaz #Tom lucitor #tomstar #starco #kelly #lilica ponyhead #starfan14 #christmas #holidays #holiday #stump day #bad episodes #reviews #animation

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lavender-hemlock · 4 years ago

Text

Clearing the Air

Good morning darlings, I hope you’ve had a delightful year thus far.

Honestly no one is, we’re all suffering. The next episode release of 2020 is coming out soon, my bet is on aliens.

As much as I would like to joke my way through this to make it easier, this won’t be. I have very recently had very serious issues be brought to my attention as to how someone in this community behaves. At first I was going to keep quiet because in the end- this was my friend. I care so much about the sake of others, when really I was letting behaviors go that are unacceptable.

I believe the power of a callout post should be used seriously, and never be used for personal abuse of power. A lot of the examples I use will be from my point, and it is personal. He is very aware how stressed and tired I have been, so to treat me this way was unwarranted.

I have only decided to step forward due to more than one girl stepping forward about these behaviors that are detailed in the list below. This post is for awareness of his behaviors, and his ideals on rape.

I also do not appreciate being spoken badly of RECENTLY only to have a heart to heart with another girl on the lies being told so that we would not speak to each other (This is referenced below under the list of points.)

-- The accused is Kazex Voss. Every line in this post has screens embedded for evidence and clarity.

_______________________________________________________________

Here is the list of what he is being held accountable of. I am not the sole subject of the below, and I am also not the subject of one or two of them: Screens are linked for evidence, if a screen is more important to note- it is bolded or posted. Screens are `mostly` in order under their number for subject.

*The way I have used male and female is how he kept describing gender.

1. Using personal trauma as a plot device.

Ex. rape. Writing rape plot to someone who is confirmed to be a victim of traumatic events pertaining to rape and abuse [Scrn Link].

- Excusing using rape as a plot device to have “females” overcome their trauma [Scrn Link].

- Another screen of him describing his point of view as a “male” compared to “females.” In here, he addresses my question head on by describing he does not understand because he is “male.” [Scrn Link].

- Another screen of the problem of his “rape therapy” villain. Me asking him directly if he does this to other girls. 1st opportunity to be honest because I already knew the truth. [Scrn Link] (related to the below)

- (related to the above) Next day where I confronted him 1 more time to be honest with me if he does this to other women. Evidence of him doing this to other women, lying, and then agreeing [Scrn Link].

- Him saying, “In real life rape is wrong, but are you going to tell me what to write? [Scrn Link]

- More context.

2. Manipulation.

Lying to two people and turning them against one another to hide his secrets and lies so that neither question the other about the subject’s habits.

- Claiming I’m perfect in order to switch blame despite me addressing him on the subject of his rape RP and his bias against how fast I respond to him.

[Scrn Link]

- Abusing guilt tactics to encourage more for what he wants out of a “friendship”. You don’t treat friends like this. There are "standards” you can have for a friend, but you don’t use it like this. [Scrn Link.]

- Justification as if I am the one who has let him down for him writing a book. Addressing past issues I kept personal because it did not merit a callout.

[Scrn Link.]

- how the fight started, more behaviors. To which this inspired my main issue (Point 1, and Point 4.) Notice how this went from me bringing up an issue of rape, and behaviors, to suddenly I’m in the wrong. [Scrn Link].

- Justification for belittling someone, plus context of “he knows what kind of person he is” so he didn’t need to claim anything I questioned or accused him on. [Scrn Link].

-- Acknowledged he was gas lighting throughout our argument. Dismissive.

[Scrn Link].

3. Belitting someone over their content, ideas, or writing to make them feel inadequate.

-- From the other girl who addressed me today, the same that told me I “disliked her” as addressed below.

2 & 3: have been used to isolate another girl and keep her from approaching others, or myself. Either because I am one way or the other. It has also been confirmed by both girls (the one experiencing rape plot as well), and then the other girl that was isolated have both expressed they were told to keep their ships secret. Even as far as telling one of the girls to take down their screens they took together with the excuse that she could “post them later at the right time.”

4. Taking IC to OOC and blurring the two together.

5. Encouraging poor behavior to pander to his wants by comforting, nurturing depression/discouraging any “toxic” behavior such as boldness or growth of a spine to tell him when something is not okay.

-- One of the latter screens: probably an important summary of my entire issue that me doing this post, or even making an issue with him was never about just ME. Posted as an image since I feel it expresses the ENTIRE post.

----- To end this discussion of points and evidence, I will address that he did apologize, but evidently this is not being taken seriously since as of last week to today, I am being lied about by him. I will refuse to accept that treatment in case there is anymore confusion of my character.

_____________________________________________________________

This is an awareness that no matter how much you can know about someone- you don’t. Lies are just pretty words to be used to get their way, and when questioned, this subject will ask that you don’t ask why they lied in the first place.

I am by no means a perfect person. I have been depressing, stressed, or confused when told that everything is fine- and its not. Nothing he ever told me was ok, or just a mistake and he’s “sorry”.

Why did I come forward now? Why not when I found out another girl like the dates of the screens?

This is an open inquiry that if you have been told that I dislike you without a probable cause for me to dislike you, please reach out to me. I have recently been confronted by one of the girls in an open discussion that she was informed that I did not like her by Kazex.

I was confused by this, because while I was adverse to talking to her because of the things he told me- I didn’t hate her like she thought I did.

We talked and lined up our facts- and we were both told things to make the other question ever speaking to each other. He told her to secretly ship, and he told me that she was this flaky person so we both wouldn’t question the other or speak.

Let this not happen again.

Love your fellow gamer. Please take other’s judgement as a grain of salt rather than fact (unless proven otherwise based on your own judgement), because everyone has an opinion. We’re all one community, and it is people like this that seek to isolate you or keep ships “secret” so that their target does not think there is competition.

I was led to believe that no matter what, he would always try to ship with Haine because she was the only ship he wanted. This was not what I wanted or the case, and neither did it work to flatter me. I don’t understand everything that was shown to me, but I refuse to be held accountable for not saving someone else the trouble when this is actively happening.

I hate doing this. I hate that among everything I ever stood for, stood with others for, that I have to call out someone I used to think the world of with many of our adventures for the eyes to see.

Let this be the wake up call he desperately needed. It’s not okay to treat women like this. It’s not okay to turn people against each other because females “can’t co-exist.” This is not RP, this is not art, and this is harmful. I’m sorry to anyone else who may be keeping quiet, among those who have come towards me to talk it out.

There are many more screens, much more context, and evidence. I tried to keep this as un-biased and relevant as possible to keep the points clear with context to support so that others are aware that this is how he is.

Let this post be an awareness that this behavior is not okay. Let it be a warning and a consideration on how you treat others. Let others see how you can be, and change. You’re capable of being better, as I can also improve, because I am in no way a perfect person.

Thank you to those that have come forward and spoken to me.

#discourse #tw: rape #tw: abuse #long post #ooc #here is one big post so its not multiple reblogs of added on stuff

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