#sorry to the 5sos followers

[means-nxthing]

[idk-who-i-amm]

5sos as tumblr porn bots descriptions

Inspired by @ijustdontlikepeople x internet series

Bonus

[my5hiningstars]

Dowoon performing Out of the Blue (ft. Day6) - from I Need My Day fanmeeting 💙

[heecyon]

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑; 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 —volume one

pairing: ceo!park jongseong x brother's best friend!fem!reader

genre: arranged/forced marriage, accidental pregnancy, brother's best friend, slight age gap (reader's 22 and jay's 24), angst, fluff and second chance love.

warning(s): grammar mistakes, curse words, nicknames, arranged marriage, suggestive scenes, mentions/allusions to sex, toxic/abusive mother, verbal abuse, vomiting, mentions of food, accidental pregnancy, sort of toxic relationship between jay and reader.

word count: 14.0k words

summary: Just a year ago, you were forced to marry Park Jongseong, CEO of the Southern Branch, part of the vary famous Park Enterprises. It was all for the sake of your family, a marriage for the benefit of gaining more traction as a company. Jongseong was attentive, caring, sometimes even sweet, but your relationship was more about sex than it was about the marriage itself. At some point, everything got bad, and it was just mere sexual intimacy that anything else, and just when you were close to ending things...you found out you were pregnant.

playlist • backburner by niki • common by zayn • dos mil 16 by bad bunny • used to this by camila cabello • astronomy by conan gray • lovers by anna of the north • lover of mine by 5sos • this love by taylor swift • julia by lauv •

volume two

CEOs & ARRANGEMENTS MASTERLIST

taglist (open): @iloveoceaneyesss @abdiitcryy @chimajeyn @sjakewrld @loves0ft @duolingofanaccount @ufoundme @sunghoons-mole @tobiosbbyghorl @dasa3040 @monkeybabyzz @snowysung @wonyofanclub @prdxinvade @dearhee @zhrtics @woinswoo @rerequire @in2jhae @darkreymbow @ahnneyong @uuwonniee @hueningluvbotsworld @iwuvjay @zen003xx @pshchives

author's note: So sorry for the delay, I'm still not done with volume two, and I wanted to have ready before publishing volume one, but I'm very impatient. The story is so long (it's 39k long at this point) that I had to divide it in two parts. I'm really anxious, because I don't know if this is good... but here you go. Also, the story is narrated mostly on the MCs views, not in first person, but mostly in the ambience that she is around.

PROLOGUE; And for once, I don't care about what you want. As long as we keep talking

It wasn't that the hospital bed was uncomfortable. It's the ambience, the situation that you just got into that made you uncomfortable.

Jongseong wasn't showing any type of expression, he was just standing, staring at the floor, maybe at his feet. You swore that his soul was wandering somewhere around the room.

You should've ended things sooner.

Maybe it was your fault, somehow.

ACT ONE; I can't lie, it feels nice that you're calling. You sound sad and alone, and you're stalling

Ever since you had memory, Sunghoon has been your best friend. You were both polar opposites, but somehow you still got along perfectly. While Sunghoon was way more reserved, introverted and shy, you were outgoing, talkative and extroverted. Wherever Hoon went, you would follow him as well, as a baby chick following her mother.

And of course you weren't a stranger to Sunghoon's family. The Parks were very well-known around the continent, but it wasn't because of that. Your parents knew very well the five-membered family. As well, you were born in an old money family, from a very old business in the country. They had a very good friendship with The Parks, and that's how you met Sunghoon.

You would always visit the mansion with a huge smile on your face.

"Do you want more donuts, Bellie?" Hoonie asked, his cutesy twelve-year old face, stuffed with the strawberry jam-filled dessert. You held back a giggle, trying hard not to laugh. "Yes, obviously." Soon, you grabbed a donut from the counter. It had a delicious vanilla frosting, but on the inside it contained a nutella filling.

Bellie, Belle.

Those were the nicknames that the family gave you, well… Jay gave you that nickname. It started when you started dressing up as Belle from 'The Beauty and The Beast' every single halloween. Jay kept the name to joke around with you, but it soon became a way that they called you to express how dearly they loved you.

When you played around with dolls, it was a completely different story. With your friends, you used to play with baby dolls, pretending to be mother's taking care of their children.

But some of them didn't truly believe the name that you gave to your "baby".

"What's her name again?" The four year old in front of you asked. She didn't understand what you were saying.

While your friends gave their "babies" names like: Areum, Young-sun, and Lily. You, on the other hand, gave your "child" the following name…

"Noa, her name is Noa."

The kids looked at you weirdly, it wasn't a name that you usually heard, but you had always liked it.

Your parents had taken you on a business trip to Japan, alongside your older sister. They took you both to their offices in the country, where other kids would wait for their parents.

You were left alone, your sister leaving you behind to play with other children. You tried to play around with other kids, but they seemed to ignore, find you annoying, even, because of your chatty attitude.

The only kid who did not ignore you was a girl two years older than you, she was obviously smaller, but she was educated and sweet, and with the knowledge that she had, she held your hand taking you somewhere else to play.

"Play hide and seek?" Those were her first words towards you. "Of course!"

You were only happy that you got to play with somebody, that somebody was not ignoring. You just played around with her, both of your tiny legs looking for places to hide around the building.

And when the end of the day came, and you were being scolded by your mother to hurry up, you finally asked her:

"What's your name?" You said grabbing your glitter backpack.

"My name… is Noa."

The name sounded beautiful to you, something that you'd never heard before. And you remembered her, because she was the only kid who did not blatantly ignore you.

"Daddy, what does Noa mean?"

Your father had complete knowledge of that foreign language, within seconds he had answered your questions.

"It's a really nice name, it means 'from love' in japanese. Why do you ask?"

"I met a girl today, she was named that way, and I thought that the name was pretty."

That was the origin of that name that caused your friends to turn their heads, with time they got used to it, but they always found it curious.

As you were both enjoying your dessert, a presence came into the room. "I thought I told you to leave me one of those." You both turned around to see his older brother.

You were four years old when you first met Jay. Sunghoon had become your play partner and the rest of the kids were on a trip to the United States.

They had finally come back home and at first you weren't that interested, but when you first saw Jay coming through the entrance door, your heart gained experience for what a palpitation was, at least that's what your younger self thinks. For you, he was the most handsome boy you had ever seen, that childhood love that every girl would like to have for themselves.

"Sorry, they were way too delicious, they might have gone to waste." You said with a smirk on your lips. Nearly shoving the donut to his face.

Jay rolled his eyes, a small laugh coming out of his mouth.

"You are something else, if you continue like this you might as well just corrupt my brother with your silly personality."

"I'm sorry, but my personality is not silly." You got up from the seat, standing up in front of him.

For him, you could be a beautiful ray of sunshine one day, and the other you could be a huge gremlin, there was no in between.

"Sometimes it can be… you don't need to get so mad just because somebody finds you cute most of the time." "But I thought-"

He said lowering down his eyebrow, his hands laying on top of your shoulders. Jay sometimes made you feel things that you simply couldn't explain. You weren't in love with him, you just found him very attractive, and handsome…If someone would've told you would be feeling this way towards a boy, you were pretty sure that you wouldn't be friends with Sunghoon if it was because of that.

"When I say silly…I mean cute. Don't really want another cute person close to me, except you."

A sudden flush took over your cheeks, and till this day you are way too sure that something inside of him lighted up, right inside his soul.

But that wasn't the first close encounter you had with Jay.

Sometimes, things got way too intimate.

People knew you in high school as the witty, and silly girl, a ray of sunshine that illuminated the beautiful light blue sky. You made friends very easily, and were actually a good student.

You still hung out with Sunghoon during the school breaks, but because you were in different classes, you didn't see each other as much at school…but you did at home.

Still, the both of you tried your best to see each other at school.

It was one of those days where you waited for Sunghoon at lunch hour, the rest of the Parks were in the same class as Hoon. So, it wasn't a surprise for them that you were waiting for their youngest brother.

Even though you felt fazed at the moment, going back to what happened that morning. You had a small problem with one of your classes, chemistry to be exact.

It wasn't your forte, but you always gave your all, even though sometimes you felt a little bit lazy.

When your mother received your report card, a few days ago, she just focused on the B- that you had gotten in that class.

Among the various 'As' that you'd gotten, she only focused on that class. She scolded you, not only that… She yelled at you.

"Such a disappointment! How are you going to take care of a business with these horrible grades?!" She pressed her hand on your arm, as you looked at your sister, she gave you back a look of pity.

"Eunji, you don't have to be that way, it's just a grade, she does great in every single other class." "If you keep justifying her, she'll stay behind her sister and will continue to be a failure."

It wasn't like you weren't used to being called that way, it didn't bother you anymore, other than that it just made you realize that you would prove your mother wrong no matter what, you would be nothing like her.

"Hey, Sunghoon isn't done yet. You'll have to wait for a little while." Jay said getting close to you at the doorway

You still didn't understand why he never wore his uniform correctly. His school jacket was on, with the unbuttoned school shirt underneath.

And for some reason, he always wore a rock band t-shirt underneath his outfit.

By that time, Jay's hair was cut short. Bangs hanging on his forehead. Which was a problem, because for you… He looked hot. Jay was a good student, but with his image it didn't seem like it.

Girls were always trying to get his attention, as well as his brothers'. It was reasonable, they were incredibly handsome, but for you, Jay was something else.

"Yeah, I don't really mind." You responded, shrugging your shoulders

Jay examined you from head to toe. The way you looked down at your feet, the way your dark bangs covered your face, the way your skin glistened close to the sun and how your pink tinted lips would perfectly fit on his.

He also noticed your scent, a scent of cinnamon and vanilla glaze. It just made him more attracted to you.

Jongseong let a finger get close to your face, he then used three of his digits to move a piece of hair from your face placing it behind your ear. It felt like a light brush against your skin.

"You had a hair sticking out." The boy said with confidence. Your scent makes its way into his nostrils, as if you were tempting him into kissing you. He wondered what your lips tasted like? Did they taste exactly how you smelled like? Sweet and yummy?

On the other hand, your heart was beating irrationally, and soon you felt like your stomach was pressing against your ribs. Why was Jay making you feel such things?

"I can take you somewhere else, that way you won't miss your lunch." Jongseong's voice took you out of your trance in a complete surprise.

"And where would you take me?" You asked suddenly, gaining confidence.

"I know a place." He said getting closer to your body. You felt yourself heat up on the inside. "What about Sunghoon?" You came up with an excuse.

Jay looked back into the classroom. A focused Sunghoon getting in his view, still invested in his notebook.

"He won't mind." The boy said looking back at you, a smirk adorning his lips. "But-"

"Trust me, Y/N. Let's go." He held a grip on your arm, carefully guiding you to wherever he was taking you.

He somehow managed to take you to a place outside of the school territory. It was a burger place, decorated with hanging plants, cacti on the floor and white long couches that sat around the restaurant.

Jay guided you towards one of the couches, a table in front of you.

You both proceeded to order from the menu. Shy to order anything without having your wallet in hand, just having a few dollars in your pockets, Jay said the following. "Don't worry, order anything you want. Lunch is on me."

You nervously shook your head. "No, no. I'll pay for my own food." "It's alright, I'll pay for you. I don't mind." He smiled.

In the end, both of you ordered what caught your interest from the menu. And when it arrived, you were ready to devour. You know those delicious hamburgers with a juicy patty and that magnificent melted cheese? Well, that's what you were devouring, including those delicious cheese balls that you always liked.

"Can I have some?" Jay asked, pointing at the basket full of the delightful appetizers.

"Well… Let me think about it." You said while grabbing a cheese ball. A hum escaped your lips as you pretended to think about giving him the snack. "Ok, you can have it."

Jay happily grabbed the cheese ball from your hand, and just as he cheerily ate the snack you giggled underneath your breath. For you, he looked cute. And you continue to enjoy your lunch together, sometimes the silence that you would be in after a conversation, would be comfortable and warming.

Sometimes you didn't notice how he would stare at you in awe, as if he was seeing a hidden wonder from the world.

And then you asked him something, "Have you thought about what your grandfather told Sunghoon?" The inquiry you made had caused Jay to get out of his trance. He looked at you with strange eyes, as if he was thinking about what he wanted to answer.

His grandfather had always been skeptical, also a little bit stressful. When the boys were just little kids, he kept talking about how they had to continue the family business. They were just five at the moment, and they didn't understand what he meant. But as they grew older they soon got a hold of the situation.

'Park Enterprises' has been a family business since 1962, exactly founded by Mr. Park, it started as a small office, a business to start technological advancements. Soon, the company grew to be huge, having three different branches in South Korea.

SPE, or The Southern Branch, is the one in charge of the Nanotechnological Advancements. NPE, also called The Northern Branch, is the one who takes care of the Communicative Technological Advancements. Meanwhile WPE, or The Western Branch, is the one in charge of Healthcare Technological Advancements.

The enterprise had become an empire that had spread around the world. With different sucursals in Italy, U.S, even some countries of Latin America. It was clear that it was a very successful business, a well known name that was stuck to the public's mouth.

No matter what happened, the brothers saw this business as their future responsibility. They wanted to make their family proud, and they were ready for whatever they had to do for the family business, even if it was not what they wanted.

"If my family thinks that it's for the best, then I'll do whatever they want me to do." You looked at him, raising your eyebrows with curiosity and surprise. You always say Jay as a man that was stubborn and obstinate, if he didn't like something he would say it, and he wasn't someone to give in easily.

So, you scoffed. "That sounds so weird coming from you." He raised his head looking at you. Jay knew that somehow you were right. He didn't want to be brainwashed by his family, but that business was his family's pride and joy. He wasn't ready to let them down.

"What do you mean?" Jongseong pretended to be clueless. A sigh escaped your lips.

"Jay, you can't have kids when you are just 17." You stated calmly. "You also can't get married at your age, you are too young."

It wasn't that you were saying it just because of Jay. You were saying that to yourself too. The reason why you had met 'The Park Family' in the first place was because you came from an old money family.

Your family owned a business, 'Baezen Corp'. An investment company that has been led by your family from various decades and generations. Your older sister was the first in line to take charge of the president position in the company, meanwhile your family still analyzed what position you would have under the business (if that's what you wanted), as you were still young and they still wanted to check if you were perfect for the family business… and with the way that your mother saw you, you found it a little far away.

"They didn't say when they plan to engage me with someone." He muttered under his breath.

You slightly shook your head in disappointment, trying your best to alleviate the bad energy that you had just provoked.

"Also, do you even have an idea of who you want to marry? What exactly do you look for in a girl?"

Jay, then raised his head to look at you. He parted his lips getting ready to start talking, as if he already planned what to say even before you asked the question.

"I'm looking for a girl that is sweet, a girl that looks like an exact representation of the moon, but that her personality is just like the very rays of the sun falling into the ocean waves." He proceeded to stare at you, looking deeply into your eyes, as if he could read your soul. Jay's cat eyes shone from enchantment, anticipation, almost as if he was under a spell.

A spell that you might have put on him, his gaze was enough to make your heart race, and to make your fingers tingle from excitement.

"I want a girl who is intelligent and has a passion for learning. A girl that smells like cinnamon spice and vanilla. I'm looking for a girl whose lips will taste just like an exquisite dessert. And lastly, her eyes have to shine like the moon reflects itself on the water when she looks at what she loves and desires… Just like you, right now."

His last words made you blink in shock, you hadn't noticed how hard you were staring at him. But it seemed that at some point you might have been under the spell that he had been just a few seconds before.

"Sorry, it's just that your description sounded so poetic, I didn't know you could be so romantic." "There are some things that you don't know about me." He smiled.

You cleared your throat before proceeding. "Where have you seen a girl like that, anyway?"

You saw the boy get closer to you, moving his seat right beside you. Then, he moved his hand close to your locks, moving them away from your face.

"It might surprise you, but I'm staring at her right now."

That was the moment that your breath got stuck somewhere around your respiratory system. As if you had forgotten all of a sudden how to breathe.

You had expected Jay to tell you all those things. Yes, he was a tease sometimes, but never intimate with his words.

"Jay."

For a second your lips parted, and you felt that you were getting closer to each other, as if your lips were to touch at any time. The boy creeped a hand down to your neck, causing small tickles on your skin. His eyes were now dazed, left with nothing but a small glimmer.

And then the phone rang, Jay's phone to be exact.

You both backed away quickly, and you nervously passed your hands on your skirt, as if you were trying to keep it clean.

"I-It's Sunghoon, we better hurry. Class is about to start." This time he didn't look at you. It was like he was ashamed or was simply just shying away from you.

"Yeah, you are right."

It wasn't a few hours later, when you were at their house that things got intense. You had asked Hoon to help you with some homework, but he told you something that you weren't expecting.

"I don't really remember any of this, but you can ask Jay for some help."

And that's how you ended up at their study room, with Jay right beside you, giving a quick eye to your chemistry book, before turning to the next page.

How was it that he smelled so good? Just like amber and citrus, a small touch of wood but also warm.

How was it that he caused you to want to crawl out of your skin? The fact that he wasn't bothered to help even though he had better things to do, was causing a small race in your heart.

"It isn't that hard, it's actually quite easy. You just have to identify the components and use the formula. The formula is not that hard either- Bae, are you listening?" He waved his hand in front of you, causing you to wake up from your trance.

"I thought I lost you there." You looked directly at his lips, the mark at the middle of the skin calling your attention. It was as if they were calling you, calling your lips. You wanted to kiss him.

You inhaled deeply, getting ready for what you were going to say.

"Can you finish what you started?" Jay looked at you confused. "What do you mean?"

It was now you, who got close to him. Your hand making itself comfortable at his cheeks, the naughty of your thumb rubbing the end of his sharp jaw.

"Can you finish what you started? Please." You said with a little plea in your voice, like your body was desperate for his lips.

Jay looked hesitant, but he didn't waste a second to pull the same move that he did at the restaurant. His fingers guiding themselves to your hair, and softly caressing it in a comforting way.

"If we kiss then, I don't think I will be able to stop." "Then don't, just stop until you've finished what you provoked in me."

And that's when it happened, when the soft flesh touched yours, how you felt them pressing against your upper lip. He then moved them trying to start a monotonous movement. You felt his hands then at the bottom of your hips, your skirt being the only thing that stopped them from touching your skin.

You both felt as if you were running out of air, so you slowly disconnected your lips from the other.

Your hand was still stuck to his jaw, and you stayed like that until you came out from your dazy phase.

"I-I have to go back home." You stood up from the sofa, grabbing your stuff and letting your feet lead you to the door.

A while after that, both you and Jay pretended that nothing ever happened, and getting close to each other caused certain things on your skin, you were way too nervous to be around each other.

The Park Brothers graduated high school and that just meant that they were a step closer to getting what their family wanted.

You followed their steps two years later, and even though they were occupied with college, they still had some time to enjoy with you. It wasn't the same as it was before, but it was still fun and joyful.

But, it wasn't until you were twenty-one that something happened. It wasn't disheartening, it was just weird and obviously unexpected. You knew that you had feelings for Jay, you couldn't deny it. It was the butterflies and pixie dust that you felt every time you were with him.

"Unnie? Is something going on?" You asked as you walked into the backyard. Your parents were sitting across the huge table that decorated the garden. Your sister, Juni stayed at a distance, like she was trying to keep the situation from getting more awkward. She wanted to be there, but not didn't really want to invade your space.

"Mom and Dad have something to tell you. We thought that it would be better if we stayed here so you could take fresh air." Juni softly grabbed your arm guiding you towards a chair that was just in front of your parents seat.

You adjusted the skirt of your dress, and then noticed the serious expression on their faces. Mr. Bae and Mrs. Gwan, two successful business leaders that were well respected by the public. These were their faces when they had a critical meeting, when they needed to be direct and strict towards some clients.

"Is something wrong?"

And that was the same expression that they taught you just by doing it themselves. Something that no client wanted to see, neither any single worker and worse, their own daughters.

"Dear, you know how important Baezen Corp is to us. It's been an essential part of our family for a long time, and the thing is that joining our hands with other companies wouldn't be a bad idea, especially if it means for the future of the business."

You frowned at your father's words. Not because you found it weird, but because you already knew all those things.

"I know, father. You've been telling me that ever since I have memory, but it terrifies me what you want to tell me."

Your parents glanced at each other. Getting ready to tell you the news.

"Darling, your sister is soon becoming the president of Baezen Corp. and that means that she is going to need a vice-president by her side to help her manage the company. And you've proven to us that you deserve that spot." Your jaw fell in surprise, you never thought that you would be vice-president for Baezen Corp. You thought that you weren't good enough, but your parents have now proved you wrong.

"Is it really? I can't believe this. Thank you so much, I promise that I won't fail you." You stood up from happiness, but your sister put her hands on your shoulders for you to sit back down.

"That's not all we have to say, dear. There's more to communicate, and we don't know how you'll react." The smile from your face fell.

"How I'll react? How I'll react to what?"

Juni gave them a short glance before they continued speaking.

Your mother cleared her throat. "Y/N, we've been talking a lot with The Park Family, about how we want our business to grow and how we want it to last for many years."

"And we thought that it would be better if we join our businesses to make a new branch, where the next generation of our family will be in charge. So, not only are our companies joining together, but also our families."

This was the moment where you knew what they were talking about, this wasn't about you taking the position of Baezen's future vice-president. This was about your family making sure that you kept on for various generations. That was when your father spoke up again.

"Dear, you are getting married to Park Jongseong."

There was a huge fog that fulfilled your mind, and it felt like the world was moving all of the sudden. You weren't ready to get married, and it wasn't because of Jay, it was just that you wanted to get married in your own will, with somebody you loved and that loved you back.

Your body went numb and you felt your legs shutting their nerves down, as if you had gone paralyzed by the shock.

"Y/N, you got to understand that it's all for a major good." The voice of your mother sounded so distant and incoherent, as if you were underneath the water. You could feel your sister's hand across your shoulders, soothing you into a state that was supposed to be calm, but instead you just felt confused and lost.

You didn't want to get married.

You could not get married.

Because…

Jay didn't love you.

At least, that's what you feared...

ACT TWO; And whether we're free-willed or predestined, clearly I've not learned my lesson, even now. Hope he doesn't strike me down.

For the following week, you were dazed, nervous and stressed. Your special task was to maintain a peace of mind that you simply didn't have at that moment.

It was as if your brain was on fire, you were full of a million questions that weren't being answered for you.

Did Jay know any of this?

Was he in the same state as you were?

Did he approve any of it?

Did he hate you?

The less that you wanted was Jay to hate you, you wanted the exact opposite. But you didn't want to force him to love you.

At the moment, you were at one of the tables from a luxurious hotel. It was a company party… Park Enterprises' party, to be exact.

You felt embarrassed to be there, but your mom's tightening grip kept you in that place, her fingers hurting the delicate skin of your arm.

How red would it be after that…

Your entire family was there, not only because they were friends, but because your engagement had a lot to do with it.

Hands went to a glass of wine that had been given to you by one of the waiters, you drank a few sips, enjoying the taste of grapefruit and kiwi that the alcoholic drink contained.

The clinking of a spoon against a wine glass was heard across the room. The Parks had rented the whole building just for this event, and even though it didn't seem pleasing for the management, it was beneficial for the hotel owners.

"Dear guests, I hope you are having a pleasing evening. Thanks for coming to the celebration of Park Enterprises' 60th anniversary." Mrs. Park wore a long black dress, it had small pieces of diamonds decorating the torso of the clothing, she wore long sleeves and her jet black hair was down.

She looked so young and happy, like she had just found a lucky charm for a special collection. She looked… Proud.

"But, we are not only here for that. We are here also, to celebrate something really important."

"Soon next year, our son, Park Jongseong will become the chief executive officer of Park Enterprises' Southern Branch." Those sudden words made your heart leap up to your throat. Jay was finally taking his family's footsteps and for some reason that got you scared. That could mean that you both wouldn't spend as much time together as a couple. You would be vice-president of Baezen Corp. and Jay would lead the Southern Branch as its CEO.

People clapped from joy, or maybe compromise, you could care less, but being at the party just made you wish for some fresh air.

Maybe it was because you couldn't keep your eyes away from Jay, he looked so elegant with his tux, not only that, but he also looked hot.

You walked away from the room, going towards the pool area, the water being an artificial blue, looking just like a blue flame. The area was big and nice, with a clear view towards the city lights of Seoul and its buildings. There were various pool beds, big and round with white sheets, but gray borders. You sat on one of them, right below a louvered roof that was connected to a wall.

The thought of Jay being your soon-to-be- husband was terrifying, not because you were marrying him, but because the thought of him hating you because of it was eating you alive.

But there was another thought on your mind. Your first kiss. It was with Jay, he was your first kiss, and for you, the fire that was coming up inside your body that day was coming back the moment you saw him with that tux, he looked so professional and mysterious, as if his aura was different.

Jay had always been confident, but this time it was different, he looked… powerful. Ready for everything and anything.

You caressed your exposed leg, eyeing the soft fabric of your white, short dress. You kicked off your heels, feeling them press against your ankle.

The water from the pool was moving, but in a calm way, you tried concentrating on it, trying to forget about everything that was going on. For one night you just wanted to relax and forget.

A shriek escaped your lips when you felt contact within your skin. It was a hand, and when you turned around, you fell deeply into that familiar and deep gaze.

"Why aren't you at the party?" You brushed Jay's hand off from your shoulder. "I needed some fresh air, it was a little bit suffocating in there."

Jongseong passed a hand through his hair, keeping it away from his face. "Are you okay? Be honest with me, Y/N."

No, you weren't okay, there was something strange building up inside you, the fingerprints of your hands wanted to touch him so bad, it was a necessity at that point.

"I'm okay, it's just… you know, things have been weird recently and it can be kinda overwhelming."

Jay knew that there was something that you weren't telling him, you were hiding something, and deep inside him, he wanted to uncover it and at the same time he wanted to kiss you so profoundly that you would both forget your names.

"You are lying, baby." He grabbed your chin, making you look at him. Jay needed you so bad, he was done hard for you, head over heels.

You inhaled before answering again. "I don't want to be your wife if you don't love me."

"This isn't about love, Y/N. This is about our families… but that doesn't mean that I don't feel something for you right now." Jay looked at your lips, they were glossy and red.

Beautiful, he thought.

"Do you love me, Ms. Bae?" You feared what would happen if you answered that question truthfully, and Jay did too.

"I don't, Mr. Park." You lied with an awkward smirk, you shamelessly lied, and somewhere inside him, Jay knew that you were lying.

And Jay swore that his heart shattered when he heard those words come out of your mouth. So, he came up with the next question.

"Do you lust for me, Ms. Bae?" His eyes turned dark with curiosity.

"I do, Mr. Park." You whispered underneath your breath. Your face being inches from touching. "Do you lust for me, Mr. Park?" You said feeling his lips almost brush yours.

"You already know the answer to that." And with that, he kissed you. And he did roughly, it was so rough that you grabbed his hair as your lips crashed against each other.

His hands moved towards your hips as they did the first time. He didn't want to ruin this, you didn't want to ruin this.

You loved each other and you knew it, but your biggest fear, for the both of you, was that your arranged marriage would kill off that passionate love that you felt ever since you were teens.

You both knew you lied, but it was better to know that lie than knowing the truth and then it being shattered.

And when he laid you on that bed, you both knew that this was the start of something new.

A beautiful and lustful lie.

ACT THREE; After everything you put me through, I somehow still believe in you.

Your heart was about to break through your chest, all because what was happening at the moment was completely unbelievable. When you were little, you always had this fantasy that you would get married to Jay, your parents always said it as a joke and to play around with you, but you never thought that it would actually become a real thing.

Because right now, you had Jay dressed up as a groom in front of you, his hair back, only a few strands in front of his face.

The way his warm hands held your cold ones, and the way you felt your heart fluttering because he was right there, in just a few minutes Jay was going to be all yours, your husband.

It was just the way that you felt your feet go numb by knowing that he was about to say his vows to you.

He looked so unreal and so elegant, but if you could be inside his mind in that instant you would've been overwhelmed by how overestimated Jay's brain was at the moment.

Jongseong thought you looked so beautiful, and the way you pressed your lips in nervousness was heartwarming. He knew that at heart he wanted to be with you, so bad. He'd never had such strong feelings for anyone before, in his entire life.

Seeing you right now, Jay realized how bad he wanted things to work out, how bad he wanted you to be his wife. But he was afraid, he was afraid to grow attached to you, because he was afraid that after this you would both end up heartbroken.

"I, Jay, take you, Y/N, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life." He meant that last part, with his whole heart he meant it, how could he not love you.

But how can you love someone and also be afraid of loving them?

"I, Y/N, take you, Jay, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

Your parents were watching, both of your families were watching how their kids were fearful to love somebody with such passion. How could you be able to survive something like this? Pretend you both didn't love each other just for the mere fact of fear.

The ring exchange was just around the corner and everything just felt more surreal, as if you were stuck in a dream, a dream that was magical, but also painful.

The rings were presented to you, Jay grabbing yours, a beautiful ring with a shining heart-shaped diamond on its center.

You swore you saw his hand change, but he was shaking in anticipation, in amusement. Jay held back a chuckle, trying to keep it cool, but he gave a quick glance to you with a nervous smile, lips sealed together.

"With this ring I, Jay, take you, Y/N, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us." Jongseong slides the ring on your finger, feeling the cold sensation of the sacred ring in your digit.

You gave him a warm smile, a smile that he dearly loved ever since he was a kid.

"With this ring I, Y/N, take you, Jay, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us." Now the both of you had a ring in your fingers that joined you together, you were now one and only one.

You could daydream a life with Jay, but you couldn't envision it in your day to day life. Not because you didn't desire it, because it all felt so unreal.

You were now getting married to somebody whom you were afraid to admit that you loved. And he was feeling exactly the same.

The both gave each other a glance, your eyes connected, not being able to pull them apart from the other.

"By the power vested in me by the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now seal your union and the promises you've made to each other this day with a kiss."

You looked at each other for a moment, this was it, you were now sealed by sacred union.

"May I?" Jay whispered.

You nodded your head with a shy smile on your lips. "You may"

The feeling of Jay's soft lips on top of yours was warm, candid, and sweet. Cheers from people could be heard from behind you…

From now on, you were husband and wife.

"This place is really nice, it's really pretty."

You had arrived at a hotel in Bali, something that your parents had planned, which was not a surprise. The flight was quiet and peaceful, Jay fell asleep on your shoulder, which caused your stomach to do weird tricks in you, you were more than nervous.

"I want to get to the pool first." Jay said placing your bags at a corner of a room. You felt his presence coming closer to you, his warmth betrayed him completely.

"So, can I call you Mrs. Park now? It has a nice ring to it." He placed his head near the crook of your neck, causing your skin to go ticklish that it made you shrugged. "Somebody's sensitive." Jay got away from your neck, but before getting away could do that, he placed a quick peck on your skin, which caused your cheeks to redden.

"And also shy."

He propped himself on the bed, his back resting against the bed frame. Jay took off his black leather jacket, letting it fall beside him.

You walked up to him, setting yourself on the large queen bed, sitting right beside him. "Can't believe I'm married to you." Jay murmured.

"Is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?" You asked him with curiosity, he could feel your gaze on him. "I don't know, you'll have to figure it out." He turned his to the side to look at you, raised eyebrows, cocky expression. "You are such a tease." You whispered.

Something overpowered you, as you let your legs guide you to where your soul wanted to go. You found yourself resting on top of Jay, on his lap, your eyes looking at his lips and then looking at his sharp cat eyes.

You felt his hands naughtly making themselves comfortable on your hips, the right one rubbing your lower back, he roughly pulled you closer to him and you grabbed his shoulders adjusting your body to his figure.

"I want you to kiss me right now." His smirk was such a provocative point and the way he missed the taste of your lips made him want you closer to him. "I was already thinking about that."

He pulled you closer to him, your lips sealed against the other as he tasted your lips and the vanilla flavor they had. He continued to caress your hips in a caring manner and you finished the night with the both of you feeling the warmth of each other's skin as you hugged the other.

The sun fell through the window as you blinked trying to keep the sleep away, you got up to the bathroom just to wash your face and do your skin care before finally washing your teeth.

You heard the water running and knew that Jay was getting ready for work.

"Good morning!" You said with your mouth full of toothpaste foam. "Good Morning!" Jay responded as he washed away his soap.

You continued with your routine as the morning went on, you cooked breakfast and prepared Jay's lunch bag.

"Belle I'm leaving!" You heard his voice soon, noticing that he was already by the exit. "Wait, your lunch bag." You sprinted towards him.

"Thanks." You saw his sweet smile, being completely grateful for your efforts and your food.

He loved when you did that, when you cooked for him, but he preferred when he cooked for you, he loved doing things for you and it was slowly becoming a habit of his.

"See you at night." Jay pulled you closer to give you a quick peck in your lips, before caressing your cheek.

You saw him go away and you stayed at the frame of the door as you heard the engine go off and him driving away.

With that, you got ready yourself and packed your stuff to get ready to work. That was the way that you started your day ever since you got married, and you definitely liked it.

"Thanks as always, Heeseung."

You had gotten off from your car, whose driver was your secretary, Heeseung. He was new to the business, but he was organized and really respectful. He parked your car at the covered parking lot of the company.

The small sound of your sneakers pierced through the walls of the underground lot. You had Heeseung behind you, who wore a dark suit with a blue-patterned tie.

You walked right through the glass double doors that guided to the building offices, you checked yourself through the glass, making sure that your outfit was well arranged.

A satin primrose dress was adjusted to your body, but it kept itself away from your shoulders, a similar colored belt defined your waist, a pair of beige shorts hugged your thighs and a pair of platform sneakers covered your feet.

"Heeseung, please contact President Bae. We have a meeting with the council, do you think you can remind her of it?" The young man agreed, quickly taking out his phone to contact your sister.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Bae!"

"Good morning, Mrs." A pair of coworkers greeted you after they heard you walk through the doors.

You greeted back with a warm smile as you led yourself to your office. Heeseung opened the other set of glass doors for you, and then you left your bag on the desk to sit on the soft white leather chair.

It annoyed you that your mother had called just to tell you that she thought that your work could be better, that she was disappointed with your levels of work. Even though you slept late most of the time to make up for what your sister missed, and taking care of the arrivals of new clients.

Throughout the rest of your day, you checked the work of the staff and completed the work that your sister couldn't do at the time, you scheduled some meetings and at some point of the day you received a visit from a dear friend of yours.

"How's my Bellie doing?" Hoon was always occupied, ever since he took charge of The Northern Branch he was always taking care of something in the company building, not only that but, also overseas, it was like he lived farther away than before. He was always somewhere far, like the U.S, Europe, even other countries of Asia.

"Sunghoon, it's good to see you." You got up from your desk to hug him. He'd recently been in Los Angeles, to make a deal with a communication company for a further partnership. "I was just walking around the area, decided to pay you a visit." He ruffled your hair making it a small mess

You both sat down at one of the tables in your office, you offered an ice coffee with a dessert.

"I thought you would have a girlfriend already, you know, have settled down." "You know that I don't really want a relationship right now." Sunghoon had always been like that, he had always thought that he needed some time for himself before getting into a relationship. He felt bad for rejecting various girls, he wasn't capable of breaking their heart, but he wasn't gonna force himself into a partnership either.

"How's married life going?"

He bit down the glazed donut with strawberry jam filling, it reminded him of his childhood years and how much fun he had during those.

"Everything is going great, though I believe that we can improve some things."

You remembered how things were a few months ago, and how you had been feeling since.

The fact that your parents planned a honeymoon after your wedding was just perfect for you.

Jay was excited that day and you were more than him. After all, you were finally married, which sounded so weird to say out loud.

You spent a lot of time together, but back at home it wasn't any different. You stuck to each other for everything. If Jay was cooking, you were there, if you were working at the home office, he was there.

And the intimacy… was the way to compensate for the words that you feared to say.

But, you sometimes doubted if what you felt was lust, or if it was love. You knew there was love, but there was always some fear to express it. And that wasn't really healthy.

You thought that if you just kept it there, you would both be perfect as it was. You didn't want to ruin anything, because then…there was no turning back, there was no fixing anything.

And you didn't want to lose Jay, and he didn't want to lose you.

So, if that meant being inside each other's backburner, then you would do anything to keep him.

Sometimes it was sad, you wanted to hear Jay saying "I love you." You wanted to scream those words out loud.

A time later after having a conversation with Sunghoon, he left.

You got out of work, bring various documents with you. Waving goodbye to your co-workers, you got your phone out to contact Heeseung.

Your white nails clicked against the back of your cellphone. The fake gems in your fingernails shined because of the sun reflecting on them.

The phone rang a few times, but then it sent you to voicemail. You rang it a few more times, waiting for Heeseung to pick up, but he never did. So you called Haewon instead.

"Hey, Haewonie! Have you seen Heeseung? He isn't picking up my calls."

"Sorry dear, I haven't. He went out in a hurry a few hours ago, so I haven't seen him since." You then thanked her and hung up quickly.

A thought came into your mind.

Jay has picked you up before, but you didn't wanna bother him. It was wednesday, so I went out of work early that day.

You gave it a second thought before finally calling him.

You waited a few rings, before you finally heard his voice. "Hello?"

A sigh from relief came out of your throat. "Hey! How's everything going?" You asked, trying to be polite.

"I'm good, a little bit tired, but I'm heading back home. Are you there already?" A finger unconsciously rolled one of your locks, you continued playing with your hair as you enjoyed the sound of your husband's voice.

"About that… You think you can pick me up from the office? I don't know where Heeseung is, so I was wondering if-"

"I'll be there in a minute."

He interrupted you all of the sudden, making you smile warmly.

You waited a few minutes outside of the building, before seeing the characteristic car that was always parked in your house's driveway.

The windows lowered down, showing a Jay that was adjusting his blazer, unbuttoning his piece of clothing revealing his white shirt.

In your eyes, he looked handsome, like always, and you kept on wondering, how was it that you got married to such an attractive man. You forced yourself to get out of your mind maze, and then let your feet guide you to the car, straight up opening the door.

"Thanks for picking me up. Don't know what happened to Heeseung, he was supposed to be here." You murmured looking at your phone. "You don't need to thank me, I'm your husband after all, I'm supposed to take care of you." You shook your head in negation.

"You can't be taking care of me all the time. I can take care of myself." Jay squeezed your thigh and then proceeded to rub his hand against it, but you put your small hand on top of his and he took it as an opportunity to grab it and rub his thumb on the skin.

"I ordered some burgers, they come with cheeseballs if you were going to ask." He looks at you for a quick second before turning back to the street.

When you reached home, you got some comfy clothing and quickly sprinted into the kitchen to hunt down your food.

It wasn't surprising that Jay was there, he was taking out the plates from the pantry and he placed them on the aisle of the kitchen. You then sat on top of it, which was a common occurrence.

Jay turned back to the aisle to see you sitting on it. He liked the view, you were wearing his oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts, it made you look cute, but he always thought you looked cute, he always thought you were beautiful.

"Alright, there's your food, young lady." He pointed at the plate. "Cheeseburger with extra cheese, french fries and with your favorite, cheeseballs."

"Thank you, young man." You bowed how you could with your position, but you then grabbed his hands and put them around your waist. "I should give you a kiss to repay you." You softly place your lips below his, all with the usual sweetness that you carried around with you.

"You should be careful, miss, or I will die from how cute you are." You felt your heart beat stronger than before, leaving a little blush in your cheeks. You turned away trying not to get disheartened.

Don't get too attached!

And when you and Jay acted as a couple, sometimes you wished that was your normal.

With that, the weeks passed and even though it seemed like you were newlywed, you soon turned one year of marriage, and obviously, Jay's family was already asking for a grandchild, his grandfather to be exact.

You visit often, with Jay or without him. You saw him as your own grandfather, he could be grumpy sometimes, but you quickly got why Jay was so sweet and caring towards you.

His grandfather was exactly the same.

You knew where he got it from.

"Shouldn't you be resting, papa?" You played your hands on his shoulders. "I have way too much energy to be in bed, darling."

"Shouldn't your husband be here with you, instead of you being here following me around." Jay chuckled, coming right to your side. "It's just that Y/N sneaks away from me, it doesn't mean that I don't want to be with her." Jay's fingers softly traced your neck, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

"She's so sneaky that she's cute at this point." You could feel his breath right at your neck, tingles spreading through your body. "So cute that you seem heavenly to me." A blush went across your cheeks and your ears. You looked at him right in the eyes, his gaze was penetrative but it shone when he saw you, like little sparkles that flew around his orbs.

"When are you two planning on giving me a grandchild?"

You felt a shock of electricity attack your heart, it hit so hard that it made your heart beat like crazy, and for Jay it wasn't any different.

"We are still not thinking about that, we are trying to enjoy what we have right now."

"Then enjoy it quickly, I'm pretty sure that you two will have a little one running around our family house in no time."

And with that, things became a little bit uncomfortable on the way back home, you both stayed quiet for a while.

That was until…

"Do you wish to have children, Belle?" The question took you out of your thoughts, but it didn't surprise you after what had happened but at the family house.

"I-I mean, if you don't want to have children it's fine, I'll be fine with whatever you want."

His words stroke your heart, he wasn't forcing you to have kids just for his family's sake. He was dealing to go with whatever you wanted to go with.

And that's what moved your heart.

"Jay… I do want children, it's just- we just got married, we just turned a year and maybe we just need more time just for us."

Jongseong nodded at your words, and his hand stroked your naked thigh, sometimes reaching the fabric of your dress, but with your finger you tickled his knuckles causing him to chuckle.

He pulled the car towards the sideway, the tigles that he provoked on your thighs were starting to go through your body, his hands moved from your thigh to the flesh of your neck, he softly shifted you towards him, being careful with your spine.

Jay's breath could be felt on top of your lips, he leaned closer finally closing the space between you, he moved his lips with a soft pace, until you fought with his to make the movement rougher and passionate. The butterflies that were accumulating inside your stomach were too much to bear, so parted your lips from his, just to move your legs in a way that you would be on top of him, both legs on his side.

After that, you kissed him again, your tasty lips being his temptation and his sweet dream. Jay's hand caressed your waist, making you fully sit down on top of him.

And with that you both started that night with a passionate fire.

Maybe something within you made things uncomfortable between the two of you, because after that, Jay started to realize that maybe you would never have a normal marriage, you both knew about it, but throughout this time, he just became more subconscious about the topic.

Your footsteps could be heard from downstairs, even though you were barefooted. A black blazer staring at you from the living room, resting at the sofa… Beside it were a few oversized sweatshirts that you wore all the time.

The smell of sweet honey and orange juice could be smelled around the house. Jay likes that smell, it was his second favorite, right after your scent and the taste of your lips, that cinnamon scent.

Even though he could feel the smell of his breakfast go through his nostrils, he was actually in a hurry, he'd actually been in a hurry since a month ago. You hadn't had the time to speak to him a lot like before and that saddened you, really deeply.

You heard the sound of his shoes through the stairs as you packed his lunch bag. It contained pancakes covered in honey and caramel, and his lunch, which was pasta salad.

Jay was already near the exit, with his bag already packed, so you sprinted with his lunch bag in your hands.

"Jay, here's your food." You said with a smile, but his face didn't express the same, it was as if he was bored, mad to say the least.

"Yeah, thanks." He grabbed the bag and opened the door in a hurry. "I'll see you at night." And with that, he left. You heard the sound of the car engine turning on, and then it drove through the streets.

"See you at night."

You whisper sounds depressive, it even caused you to feel dizzy.

He didn't even say goodbye, he didn't kiss your cheek as he always did… That's how it had been a few weeks ago.

And you wondered why you expected it to be different. You thought about that moment in the morning the whole day, even in the office, you couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Has Jay not answered your calls?" Your friend, Haewon was right behind you as you dialed your husband's number for the fourth time.

"No, he's being really busy these days." You rubbed your forehead in a little bit of stress. Recently, you felt really tired, dizzy, nauseous even. You knew that an upcoming deal with a foreign company was coming up, and you were stressed out, so that could be provoking your symptoms. "You've been busy and you still bother to call, you should talk to him. Didn't you say that he was really distant recently."

Actually, you were both distant, work had a lot to do, but also the fact that you couldn't take it anymore. Even when you acted like a couple, not being able to express the love you had for each other was a real deal breaker.

The days that you felt like telling him how much you missed him, you stayed away. The days he felt like telling you how beautiful you were, he looked away. The days where you felt like finally telling each other how much you loved the other, you both parted away.

You weren't ready to be fond of him, yet. Even though you already had strong feelings for him. What if something happened and you ended up heartbroken? You weren't a conventional couple, you were arranged married, and your fears were so big that you were incapable of getting too comfortable with him.

The sound of the telephone hanging was just the thing you needed. The way your mom called once again was not a surprise to you, but it was still tiring.

"How can you be so incompetent, so stupid?!"

"You are such a failure, I don't know how you still work here?"

"Such a high position in the company and you're still a fucking idiot!"

"You look really pale, Y/N. Do you need me to bring you something to eat, drink?" "Do you think you can bring me a peppermint lemonade, Haewonie?" She nodded as you muttered a 'thank you'.

The sound of your fingers touching the keyboard was enough to cause you a big headache. You knew you could continue at home, but things were too tense there for you to peacefully work at any space of the house.

"Here's your lemonade." "Thanks, Haewon." Your hand grabbed the lemonade, taking a quick sip, enjoying the flavor of sweet peppermint, but sour lemons.

"With Hanni and Isa we are going to a brand new restaurant that they opened last week. We heard that they have great caviar and side dishes. You should come with us, have a girl's night, get your mind free from work and from everything going on at home."

You thought about it, and it sounded really fun, but the least that you wanted was to go out and then remember that you had a lot of work to do.

"I would love to, but I have a lot of papers to check on, and I need to get everything ready for the next meeting. You know that I would go if I could." "Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll make sure that next time you are completely free so we can all be together."

You nodded, thanking her for being understanding.

By the end of the day, you drove your car towards your home, with eyes heavy and a tremendous nausea that was also brought to you with dizziness.

You pulled the car away from the road as you felt a curious vile rise up your throat wanting to escape your mouth.

The car door was flung open with desperation, your feet touched the grass as you felt the vile free itself out of your mouth and go straight into the natural floor.

You gagged as you felt how the remains of your food choked you. You felt as if the air was being cut out for you and that you would stop breathing at any moment.

As you finished, you let out a sharp breath and wiped your mouth with the end of your sleeve.

A few tears fell down your cheeks and blurred your view. The thought of sitting right beside your car became true, you let your legs rest on the ground and the back of your head felt the cold material of the vehicle.

It was such a weird feeling, you'd never thrown up before ever since you were eight years old. You started to analyze how your health had deteriorated a few weeks ago, you thought it was just a bug, or maybe it was just the huge amount of work that was causing problems on your body.

You kept on saying that you needed to rest and that you would do it, but that never happened and you always postponed it.

With the little strength that you had, you managed to get to your car and let your head fall against the driver seat. You felt a little bit relieved as you felt the nausea wave get out of your body.

It took you about fifteen minutes to take a turn back home. You drove back slowly, trying your best to prevent your stomach from getting upset.

When you reached home, you noticed that Jay's car wasn't there yet, which meant that he wasn't back home.

You felt your muscles relaxed as you felt the water coming from the shower fall into your shoulders. You got into a comfy pink sweater and a pair of shorts that made your skin fuzzy. And you combed your wet hair feeling a sudden pressure at the side of your head.

The fingertips of your hands applied some weight into your head trying to stop the possible migraine that was bothering your tired body.

You went through the night trying to distract yourself from the discomfort that you felt the whole day. Even let your phone ring a few times trying to call Jay, but he never actually answered.

You didn't feel that much appetite, so you avoided making dinner for yourself and just focused on your husband's.

But you waited for him to get home, and even though the time passed he still wasn't there with you. And that was maddening, because the only thing that you wanted was him to be there.

The clock was pointing at 11:46, and just by then Jongseong was arriving. The sound of the door closing woke you up, you had fallen asleep on the couch.

At least my headache's gone.

Jay noticed that the lights were on, he knew that you were waiting for him. He didn't want you to do that, you had enough at work and you needed to rest. At least, one of you had to be well-rested.

You rubbed your eyes in an attempt to draw the sleepiness away from your body. The numb feeling, soon running away from your limbs.

He reached the living room, the first thing he saw was your exhausted figure. Jay wondered why you were still awake… Did you wait for him?

"Hey, why are you still up?" Jay put his bag down beside one of the sofas.

Even the question was maddening. He was back at home so late and you waited for him even though you had been so distant.

"I was waiting for you to arrive."

Jay sighed with disappointment. "You shouldn't be waiting for me." He blurted out, which kind of confused you. "Why?"

He smirked in annoyance, he wasn't annoyed at you, or maybe he was.

Jay wanted you to admit that you loved him, just as much as you wanted him to do the same for you. He wanted to break the cycle of lies, he wanted to stop pretending that he didn't love you. Why did you both have to lie to each other?

Because it was so obvious that you couldn't tolerate it anymore.

"Y/N, why are you acting like you actually care about me?"

You furrowed your brows in confusion, also in annoyance… How could he say that? And why would he believe that?

Hadn't you shown how much you cared for him?! Wasn't all you had done for him enough?

You couldn't believe what he was saying.

"What are you saying? Have I actually not shown how much I care about you?!" You kept your voice at a normal level, you tried not to raise your voice, you tried your best to take the situation away from the worst. "Stop lying, Belle! We know that we are both liars in this situation!"

"And that's what maddens me, because we fake every single thing as if our marriage came out of a normal situation."

Your breath shrieked in despair, as your heart continued to crumble as if it was a piece of paper that you could ruin. Why are you doing this to me? That was the only thought that could go through your mind.

Tears threatened to escape your eyes, you looked to the side trying to prevent them from going any further.

Jay just stepped up closer to you, his own heart breaking as well, just as it was beating against his chest.

He was nervous...

He was scared.

All because he felt that things were falling apart.

"You said that you didn't want to get married to me if I didn't love you… But you are still here."

Jay's hand was placed on your chin, his whispers were enough to break you, to tear you apart in a million pieces.

"I asked you if you loved me… you said no, but you never asked if I loved you." You tried to hold in your sobs, but your shaky breaths betrayed you.

Something inside you was falling apart in rage. Where was all of this coming from?

Why was he telling you all of this? Why now?

"You've already proven me why I shouldn't have asked…" You spat your words in fury. "You are asking me if I actually care about you, but…"

"Have you ever actually cared about me?"

You grabbed his hand and slowly got it away from your chin. If you ever feared about being heartbroken, now you are more afraid about what would happen next instead of what would happen in the moment.

"Y/N." Just hearing your name slip out of his tongue shattered your heart into pieces. He was heartbroken as well, he was hurt and he was more than afraid, he was terrified.

He was disappointed with himself.

"Get your shit together, Jay."

The remainder of the night was tense, it was quiet and a little bit disturbing. Jay couldn't sleep, he knew that he'd messed up and he fully understood why you were mad at the moment.

He completely let himself go because of the hardship that he was feeling. Jay hated it, he despised that he knew that you loved him, but you wouldn't say, and he also despised the fact that he knew how much he loved you but he wouldn't say anything.

Was this how it was going to be forever?

Pretending that you didn't have feelings for the other just because you didn't want to get hurt. For some reason, that decision was the best that you could ever take, at least that's what you both thought.

Nobody will get hurt if something happens.

That's just bullshit!

As he wrecked his head with thoughts, you laid on the sofa, with a navy blue blanket covering your body. The least that you wanted was to sleep in the same bed as Jay, you didn't need that at the moment.

Throughout the night, you thought about your relationship with Jay. You've known each other ever since you were kids, and you love him with your whole heart, he made you feel things that you never thought that you could feel, the thought of marrying him was far from your mind, but when your families engaged you, something inside of you thought that you could make things work, you wanted a future with him, but at the same time you feared that loving him would break you at some point, all because it wasn't at your own will and it wasn't that you married at each other because of love.

The problem was, that if you kept up pretending you didn't love him, you would just hurt each other, and it was already happening.

You didn't notice at what time the morning came, your body shut down the moment that those thoughts hit your head. The sound of the air conditioner going off got to your senses, you pulled the blanket off your body, and your neck was stiffened from the uncomfortable position that you slept on.

The cold floor sent shivers down your spine as your feet made contact with the tiles, you got up, walking immediately towards the bathroom near the living room. You walked quickly trying your best to avoid Jay, but also trying your best to keep the vile that was rising up your throat.

You reached the bathroom, hitting your knees with the cold tiles as you threw up inside the bowl, something that you found impossible because your stomach was empty.

A huff escaped your mouth, you cleaned your lips with the back of your forearm, getting up with weak legs to walk towards the sink. A sudden but quick ring consumed your ears, and it left as fast as it came, your senses were altered, almost distressed.

You didn't understand a single thing of what was happening with your body, but your mind always came up with the same answer.

It's just stress, you thought, you brushed your teeth. Your limbs were wobbly, almost numb… But you still made your way to the kitchen after you finished washing your mouth.

The feeling that somebody was close to you, came in. Your heart leaped when you saw Jay in the kitchen, his almost tan skin came across your mind, he always had that scent every time he was close.

He always smelled elegant, luxurious, even mysterious sometimes.

It felt like a temptation being so close to him. And the way you sat on the counter chair was not helping, you bounced your barefoot leg as you looked at the material of the kitchen aisle, not wanting to look at him.

But still, you could feel the heat of his skin near you.

"Drink some water, you need to stay hydrated if you are losing fluids." He left a glass of water beside your arm, on the counter. You didn't even dare to look at him, but by the sound of the furniture moving, you could see what he was going to do. "Do you have a stomach bug or something? Have you gotten that chec-"

"I don't know why you're asking me this? I thought you didn't care." You raised your head to look at him, his sharp eyes looking into yours, making you want to look away.

"Y/N, I didn't mean to make you feel that way. You know that I do care about you." He said trying to get a hold of your arm, but you pulled away from him.

Deep down you knew that he did, he cared and he cared more than what he showed you, but you couldn't be like this anymore, continuing a lie that would only hurt the both of you.

"Something inside of me tells me that you do. But you are so distant, and we keep on lying to each other as if that is going to solve anything, and we both know that isn't doing anything anymore." Jay sat straight after hearing your words.

"Jay… I, Why do I keep feeling like this isn't working out?." Jay stood up from his seat, he was impressed with your words, words that he didn't want to hear. "W-What do you mean?"

"We are hurting each other and that's the least that I want, and I know you feel the same… But we are so blinded by each others' company that we haven't noticed that we truly aren't doing anything for our relationship, and that says a lot." "I thought that maybe we could make it work, but I feel like I'm in the wrong, here."

Were you saying that you wanted to be away from him? Was he truly hurting you that bad?

Jay's mind was completely wrecked, he clenched his jaw trying to keep away his tears, just as you… he wanted to make things work, because he truly did see a future by your side.

You were all he wanted.

He was all you wanted.

But if that was what you wished, then he wasn't going to say otherwise, because that's how much he loved you.

"Maybe you are right, maybe this isn't working out, because I really don't wanna hurt you and I know that you don't want to hurt me."

Your heart broke, because you truly weren't expecting him to agree with you, you wanted him to fight for you and finally tell you how much he loved you, but your mind knew that he was going to agree with you.

"Being together just feels wrong at this point."

"But what if we make it work out." He said hopeful. "I don't know, Jay."

Your heart hit your chest with intensity, you were still hoping that things would get better, but at that point it just felt something completely impossible.

To be clear, you had to continue with your day as if nothing happened, pretending that your relationship wasn't crumbling down and your heart wasn't shattered into a million pieces.

Heeseung kept looking at your saddened expression, knowing that you were down, and he kept an eye on you throughout the ride to the office.

He asked a few times if you were okay, but you always responded with a smile, repeating that you were fine.

Even Juni noticed your state, you felt numb and confused, if you truly loved someone how could you suggest such thing. Maybe it was because you simply couldn't tolerate the fact that you were being lied to.

In comparison to you, Jay was stressed. He didn't want things to go this way, you were everything that he dreamed of, and ever since he was a kid, he imagined a future with you. Yes, he was in a relationship with you, but it wasn't what he had always wished for.

He wanted to be one of the reasons you smiled, not one of the reasons why you hurt. Jay couldn't concentrate on his work, and he couldn't stop thinking about how hungry he was. Shit, he truly did miss your cooking!

You placed a foot on your doorstep and you felt the need to throw up, it was becoming a normal occurrence, it had happened twice at work, and that was the second time you did it at home ever since the morning.

The sink water was heavy for your stomach, but really cool and nice for your face, you washed it a few times, before finally heading out of the bathroom and getting into some comfier clothes.

It felt so nice when you got off your pleaded skirt and your white shirt, your tennis shoes were also a little bit tight, but you didn't pay that much attention to it.

Just when you were rising up your shorts, the bedroom door opened, revealing a tired Jay, trying to take off his tie. He turned his head to the right out of impression, feeling a little bit nervous .

Embarrassed, you quickly pulled your shorts up, lowering your head in a timid manner, before heading towards the door. "Sorry, I shouldn't even be ashamed, but this is very uncomfortable."

"Don't be sorry, I should've knocked." You brushed his fingers in reassurance. "None of us should be sorry, we've seen each other naked, anyways." You mentioned the last thing, in an attempt to make things better.

Jay looked in your way, just as you started to let go of your shyness. You noticed how his tie was hanging lower, and some of the buttons of his shirt were open, showing a little bit of his chest and the marks of his clavicles. He saw your black hair covering some parts of your arms, tank top that showed a slight part of your abdomen, and the cotton gray shorts that covered your thighs.

His skin looked beautiful with the dim warm light of your bedroom, and his fingers slightly brushed with your skin. You didn't notice that you were so close to him, how his gaze softened when he looked into your eyes and you noticed the little line at the middle of his lower lip, you always liked it, he had it since he was in high school.

Jay felt the blood rushed through his veins as he felt you closer to him. You could only think that if those were going to be the last days that you spent together as a "normal" couple, you should at least be able to feel his skin a few more times.

"Why do I keep feeling that this is wrong?" He murmured, as you got so close that you could feel his warmth breath. "At least, if I'm going to hurt while we are together, I wanna do it right." You whispered in his ear, looking at him once again. "I don't want you to hurt, Belle." His hand caressed your cheek, pretty fingers lingering on your skin. "But I want you to love my body, as if you just hurt me."

There had always been a difference between lust and love, even though you both didn't express the love for the other, you always felt a feeling of lust towards him, just like he did for you.

Maybe your relationship wasn't working out, but you felt a magnetic reaction towards him, something that made you look his way even if things were going wrong.

That was the lustful feeling that consumed your body.

"...At least just tonight, Jay." You whispered, knowing deep down that if you had sex with him that night, it would become a cycle until you finally came to a conclusion of what you wanted to do with your relationship. Your breath was hitched, as the air going through your lungs was heavy and slow. "You sure that's what you want?"

You felt his lips brush against your forehead, his palm making contact with your wrist.

"Yes."

His lips kissed your forehead, just for him to go down and focus on your neck, he gave tender kisses on that area of your skin, sometimes he sucked the points that he knew were sensitive.

You could only grab the ends of his hair as you felt those nice sensations, and how some of your senses started to blur a little.

Sometimes, your tummy felt butterflies flying around as he kept a hand on your neck, now paying full attention to the soft flesh of your lips, kissing them hard, leaving them red and kinda swollen.

You leaned on a wall, letting all of the feelings come to you, his kisses, how his hand was grabbing your neck, while the other kept itself on your waist.

Your tricky hands grabbed his tie, looking into his eyes knowing very well that his heart had just skipped a beat just like yours already did. You somehow undid his tie, throwing it to the side, and then proceeded to unbutton the rest of his shirt, leaving the top of his chest uncovered, his pretty skin glowing because of the beads of sweat.

"You are going to be the end of me, Belle." Jay whispered, kissing you once again, keeping his hand in your neck, as you placed yours on his shoulders, slowly taking his blazer off, letting it fall on the floor.

That night, you knew that this was going to be a common occurrence until one of you had to break off the relationship.

Because the morning after that, Jay offered to take you to your office, just for you to hook up in the car before he finally drove you off to your workplace.

When you arrived back home, you would both make out as if it was the last time that you would see the other.

You hurt most of the time, feeling that this was the most that you could have with, sexual intimacy just to compensate for the hurt that you felt, and the sadness that would consume you.

For the next few weeks, this was your new normal, you would both have a few words before you finally had intimacy. And clearly, to be honest, Jay's heart ached with sorrow, but also passion.

How was it that you could make your intimacy work, but not your relationship?

That's what he always wondered for the past few weeks.

A few days before your family reunion, you arrived home late, and you noticed that Jay was there already, his car parked on the sideway.

When you entered the house, you took off your shoes at the entrance. You brushed your hands with your skirt, because of how could it was outside, you threw up on your way back to your house, so the air had definitely affected a little bit of your body

Then, you heard it.

"I really don't want to get a divorce, but I feel like this isn't working out."

Jay wanted to say how much it hurt him that he could feel your body with every single touch, but not your heart.

"Y/N said she knew things weren't working out, and I know she's hurting because of me, and that's the opposite that I want for her."

"I want her to be happy and to not stick to a relationship that will only burn us down."

You didn't know what was worse, the fact that your relationship was now based on just sex, because you wanted a part of him to be with you, or was it the fact that Jay wanted you away from his life completely.

What hurt more was the fact that he mostly was doing it because of you, and you weren't going to beg for him to stay, because you knew that you needed to be apart.

"You want a divorce?"

Jay heard your fragile voice coming from the living room, he knew there was no turning back now.

He hung up the phone, surprised by you and your sorrowful expression.

"Y/N…"

"You don't have to say anything, I understand." You would be lying if you said that your heart wasn't shattered, and that there weren't tears slipping down your cheeks.

Until then, you would love your bodies, as if you had just hurt the other.

That's what you thought it would be.

Because you both just did.

[romana-after-dark]

heyaa!! for your follower fundraiser game i have found 4 titles!! (i hope im doing this right)

ghost of you (5sos), yellow (coldplay), apple (charlie xcx), and burn (ellie goulding)

if i got all those correctly, can i request for Logan howlett please? i would love anything dark about him. thank you!!

Hi Hi Hi!!!!!

Roman's 1000 follower fundraiser game

Thanks so much for playing! ghost of you is actually from MCR, and Apple came out (i think?) after Apple did, but yes to the other two!

thats 200 words for you, and $2 to smile train! After writing, this still ended up 550 words lol

Here is some dark Logan for you! I expanded on dacryphelia logan I did months ago

Let it Out

Logan Howlett x gn!reader

Main Masterlist : Logan Masterlist

Follow @romana-updates and click follow, join my tumblr community or ask to join the tag list to keep up!

Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi : Go Fund Me

Summary: You're crying to Logan about your family rejecting you as a mutant. Logan isn't helping.

Warning: Dacryphelia, maybe some trauma kink? But shes not talking about sa or anything. jerking off subtly. Nothing sexual really happens to reader. mentions of family not accepting reader as a mutant, (lgbt allegory?) Logan doesn't non con or anything but she's not consenting to what he's doing, even if they are mostly unaware. He's kinda goofy and silly in this one I won't lie.

******

"I just don't understand, I'm their child!" You sob onto Logan's plain white T-shirt as the two of you sit on the couch. Love is Blind is forgotten in the background, your attempts to reach out to your parents after years of rejection leaving you a sobbing mess.

Unfortunately, the sight of you had him rock hard in his pants. It wasn't his fault, really! He can't control when he gets a raging erection. He can't control that he gets it while you cry against his shoulder, so vulnerable and trusting...

Your parents had rebuffed your latest attempt to reach out, rejecting you for being a mutant and you were distraught, no reason for him to get bricked up on a Tuesday afternoon. And yet. here he was.

He needed to take care of business before you noticed he was hard. Logan reached down, rubbing his aching cock as his other hand cradled your head, trying to be comforting but also kinda holding you there.

"I know baby, I know... I sorry..." His voice hitched a little bit when his palm ram down the length of him, full pressure, trying to make himself cum in his pants as quick as possible. He glided over himself, feeling cock desperately twitching in his jeans, begging for your mouth as salty tears ran down...

"He was never there for me, I think he kn-knew something was wrong with me even before my mutation showed..."

Faster, harder. Logan's breathing grew a little ragged as his release neared, getting harder by the second when he could feel your tears on his peck. "It's not fair. He was always gonna b-be mad at you, no matter what you were... hmm..."

"Lo, are you okay?" You tried to lift your head up to look at you, but he holds you down shushing your worries in a strained voice.

"Don't worry bought me baby, just m'old bones creaking. Just let it out." I'm so close... he thought to himself. Part of him wanted to drag it out, relish in the pleasure of how good your voice felt crying to him, his own hand making himself feel good... but you were already calming down. He needed to make this quick. He needed to egg you on a bit. "I mean, he tried to kick you out even before they knew you were a mutant."

Bringing up this trauma caused a fresh bought of tears from you, leaving you wracked in sobs in his arms.

Rubbing himself quickly, Logan bit his lip HARD as he came, stifling the moan but not his abs flexing in the process. Warm filled his leg and he felt embarrassed, wondering how he was going to get out of this was a wet spot now. Oh well, a problem for Logan a few hours from now, not for Logan now. Now, he revealed in his release, the ache releaving as he stroked out every last drop he had in an attempt to prevent his short refractory period from causing issues again.

Now Logan had his baby in his arms and could relax and try to make her feel better.

"It's okay sweetheart... I'm here for you now."

***********************

@tomhockstetter7-111 @hornystan @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @madamerubrum @journal3sposts @and-claudia @yeaiamme2 @xoxabs88xox

[hischierdevils]

Teeth | N.H.

note: inspired by the song Teeth by 5sos. I’ve been working on this one for a while and I’m still not happy with it but here you go.

summary: you get a little attitude with nico but he puts you in your place

warnings: s m u t, spanking, slight captain kink

wc: 2.1k

Something in the way you're looking through my eyes

Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

Nico had just gotten home from a roadie earlier in the day and you were excited to finally have him all to yourself. When you got home, he told you that Jack had invited the two of you to dinner. While you loved Nico’s teammates, you were a little upset. Jack had just seen Nico for ten days in a row. Why couldn’t you have him to yourself for a night?

As you and Nico took the elevator in your building down to Jack’s floor you stuck tightly to his side, unable to keep your hands off of him for even a moment. He grins when you stand on your tiptoes to ask for yet another kiss. “You gotta behave yourself, baby.��� He warns before giving into your demand. 

“I am behaving.” You pout as he pulls away from you. “We’d be naked in our bed right now if I wasn’t.” Nico bites his lip as he shakes his head at you. Unimpressed with your idea of behaving but slightly turned on anyway. 

You’re surprised when a blonde girl opens Jack’s door after you knock. She introduces herself as she lets you and Nico in, making polite conversation as you follow her to the kitchen. Dawson and his girlfriend are also in the kitchen talking with Jack. “Are we babysitting now?” You grumble to Nico as you attach yourself to him by wrapping your arms around his waist. 

He wraps a heavy arm around your shoulders and kisses your forehead. “Don’t be a brat, y/n.” Nico mumble’s back. 

You roll your eyes at him. “Fine.”

Nico flashes you a look, warning you to check your attitude before you all take your seats at the table. The look makes you squeeze your thighs together as flames erupt in your belly. He hasn’t seen you in a week and he’d rather spend time with his teammates than have alone time?

The six of you sit at the table, passing the food around as the guys take turns telling funny stories from their trip. The two other girls at the table seem familiar with each other and quietly chat to one another. “Y/n?” Jack’s date calls your name and you realize you’ve been staring at Nico. 

“Sorry, what?” You turn your attention to the blonde girl, trying to remember if you saw her before tonight. You feel slightly guilty for not remembering her name but Nico looks so good in his dress shirt. How are you supposed to think about anything else?

The girl giggles. “I asked you how you deal with Nico being away for weeks at a time.” 

You glance at Nico who’s looking at you like he also wants to know the answer. “Lot’s of phone sex.” You say with a smirk. 

The girl's face turns red as Dawson and Jack howl with laughter. Nico places his hand on your thigh underneath the table and squeezes, digging his fingernails into your skin through your leggings. 

“Is that why you never go out with us?” Jack asks after he takes a deep breath. Dawson wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his beer.

“I go to dinner with you all the time.” Nico scoffs. 

Dawson starts giggling again. “But you gotta run back to the hotel for dessert, eh?” 

Nico nudges your knee with his underneath the table as he moves his hand higher up your thigh. “I love my girl.” He leans over to kiss your temple. “Look what you started you little brat.” He whispers for just you to hear.

The look on his face lets you know that you’re getting punished for that when you get home and your body shivers with anticipation. 

You barely touch the dinner that Jack’s new girlfriend made. The pasta is delicious, but your stomach is in knots as Nico continues massaging your thigh. He eventually gets close enough that his pinky rubs up against your clothed heat and it makes you jump. Reaching for your wine glass, you take a deep gulp as Nico smirks at the blush on your cheeks. 

“Are you alright, love?” There’s a twinkle in his eye as Nico questions you. He’s enjoying this. 

You tug at the hem of the sweatshirt you’re wearing, which also happens to be his. “Yeah, it’s just a little hot in here.” 

His eyes darken as he watches you take another sip of wine, your tongue darting out to catch the last sweet drops on the rim. The rest of the table chats animatedly, unaware of the silent conversation you and Nico are having. 

Fight so dirty, but you love so sweet

Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth

When it’s time for you to leave, you practically jump out of your seat. Nico says goodbye to Jack and his girlfriend, thanking them for dinner as you wonder what’s in store for you once you make it back to your own apartment. 

You end up riding the elevator with Dawson and his date down to your floor. You stand next to Nico’s side without touching him but your body is so aware of him that you can tell every time he shifts his weight or fidgets. 

“Have a good night you two.” Dawson smirks at the two of you as the door to the elevator opens on your floor. You politely say your goodbyes before following Nico to your door. 

As soon as he gets the door open, he’s pulling you inside and pressing his mouth to yours. You kiss him back eagerly as he guides you backwards so you’re pressed against the wall of the entryway. Your body becomes putty underneath his touch as his right hand fists the hair at the nape of your neck and his left hand slides underneath the sweatshirt you're wearing. 

He bites your bottom lip as his calloused fingers graze over the soft skin on your stomach moving up to cup your breasts over your bra. “You were a little brat tonight y/n.” He comments before lowering his head down to your neck and sucking a hickey into your delicate skin. “What am I going to do with you?”

You palm him over his jeans and smile when it elicits a moan to fall from his lips. “I guess you’ll have to punish me.” You whisper as you kiss his jaw. 

He picks you up before you can say anything else, throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you to the bedroom. As soon as he sets you on your feet he’s pulling your leggings down your legs. “Teasing me all night like you won’t have any consequences.” He mutters as you step out of your pants. 

You give him a sly smile before taking his sweatshirt off your body, revealing the matching bra and panty set you had put on just for him. “You’re the one who delayed my plans, Captain.”

He sits down on the edge of the bed. Biting his lip as he takes in the sight of you. His gaze is so intense that you’re practically dripping from arousal before he even touches you. “Come here.” He demands after what feels like an eternity. 

You walk over to him slowly and when you’re finally within reaching distance, he throws you over his lap so your ass is in the air. He’s still wearing his clothes, and his jeans rub against your bra, giving your sensitive nipples some delicious friction. You whine as he slowly brings his hand up your leg and over your ass before resting it on the small of your back. He uses his other hand to gather all of your hair in a makeshift ponytail so he can see your face. 

“I think thirteen is a fair number, don’t you, love?” His voice is deep and you can tell that he’s just as turned on as you are. 

“Yes.” You breathe as you shake your ass, begging him to do something. 

He digs his fingers into your ass cheek, causing you to jump. “Yes, what?” 

“Yes, Captain.” You stutter. 

He massages your ass cheek before pulling your underwear down. “I want you to count, pretty girl. Ready?” His hand slaps your ass before you can respond and you jump a little in his lap. The slight sting mixes with pleasure and your body begins to shake with a need for relief. “Count.” He reminds you. 

“One.” His palm hits your other cheek before the word is even fully out of your mouth. “Two.” 

He goes on, alternating ass cheeks until you reach ten. You’ve been squirming in his lap so he pauses to check on you. “What do you need, love?” 

You can feel his erection in his jeans and you’re dying to get your mouth on it. “I need it harder, Captain.” 

This time when his palm comes down his fingers hit your soaked hole. You bite his jean clad thigh to keep from crying out. “Is that what you want, baby?” He asks as he spanks you again, his fingers sliding inside of you easily before he removes them. “You’re just dying for me to touch you aren’t you?”

“Nico…”

The final time his hand comes down, he slides two fingers inside of you as he unclips your bra with his other hand. As soon as your breasts are free, he rolls one of your nipples between his fingers as he works his other hand inside of you. “This is all you wanted, isn't it baby? You wanted me to make you cum?”

“Yes, Nico…please…” You’re a moaning mess in his lap as he expertly fingers you, adding a third finger to give you more friction. “I want you inside me.” You groan.

He lets go of your nipple and moves his hand to your clit. You moan as he begins to rub circles on it and you bite down on his thigh again. “Be a good girl and cum for me.” He applies more pressure to your clit and you’re seeing stars in no time, orgasming as he holds you in his lap. 

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

“So perfect and good for me, baby.” Nico praises you as he brushes your hair out of your face and pulls you up so you’re sitting in his lap. “You did so well.” 

You kiss him until you’re both breathless and then stand on shaking legs. “It’s my turn to make you feel good.” You pull at his belt and he stands up quickly, helping you to get him out of his jeans and boxers. 

You sink to your knees before him once his erection is free and take his large cock in your hand. The tip is already shining with pre-cum and you lick it up with your tongue before pulling him into your mouth. “Fuck.” He mutters as he tangles his hands in your hair. 

You hum in satisfaction causing the vibrations to travel along his thick member. He pushes into your mouth until you gag and then pulls out. “Mmmm I’ve wanted to do this all night.” You admit as you wipe the drool off of your chin. You go to reach for him again but he steps back out of your reach. 

“I’m not going to last baby and I want to be inside you.” He tells you as he moves the pillows and sits down on the bed with his back pressed against the headboard. “Come ride me.” 

You don’t have to be told twice, scrambling quickly to get on the bed and swing your leg over him. You bend down to kiss him as you trail your fingers down his chest before gripping the base of his cock so you can sink down on top of him. You both moan as he stretches you, filling you up completely. “I’ve missed you being inside of me.” You whisper as you start to bounce up and down. 

He brings his hands to your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as he tries to slow your movements. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” You run your hands through his hair tugging softly at the roots as you grind down on him. He lets out a string of curses in German letting you know he’s not going to last long. 

You press your forehead to his as you pick up the pace. He wraps his arms around your torso, holding you flush to his chest as you grind against him, bringing yourself close to the edge again. “You feel so good, baby. So good for me.” He kisses you again and the praise is all you need to come undone around him. 

He tightens his arms around you as he thrusts up into you. “Open your eyes, love. I want you to look at me.” His forehead is still pressed to yours and he looks into your eyes as his thrusts become erratic. “Fuck, y/n.” He stills as he reaches his orgasm, coating your womb with his cum. 

Once you’re both spent, you rest your head on his shoulder. You try to move your leg so you can get off of him but he quickly grips the back of your knee, keeping you in place. “I want to hold you.” He murmurs before kissing your cheek. 

“Okay.” You give him a lazy smile before relaxing into him. Cuddling with Nico is easily your favorite thing in the world. 

Tag list: @mikayladavis @cammie1634 @cellythefloshie @nowandkei @hughesmedicine @huggy-hischier4394

[skzficstapes]

track 01: ghost of you by 5sos

The apartment was quiet, save for the faint hum of the heater and the occasional creak of the floorboards. You sat on the couch, a blanket draped over your shoulders, staring blankly at the cup of tea in your hands. It had gone cold long ago, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Chan’s absence was a weight that never lifted, a ghost that lingered in every corner of the life you once shared. The apartment still smelled faintly of him—his cologne, the detergent he insisted on using because it "smelled like home." Even months later, you couldn’t bring yourself to change much. His jacket still hung by the door. His favorite mug sat untouched in the kitchen.

And yet, despite your efforts to preserve his memory, you knew it wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever bring him back.

A knock at the door broke the silence, startling you. For a moment, you didn’t move, as if ignoring it would make the world leave you alone. But the knocking came again, more insistent this time.

You sighed, setting the tea down and shuffling to the door. When you opened it, Jisung stood there, his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat, snowflakes dusting his dark hair.

“Hey,” he said, his voice soft.

“Hey,” you replied, stepping aside to let him in.

He hesitated for a moment before stepping inside, shaking the snow off his coat and toeing off his boots. He’d been coming around a lot lately—bringing groceries, fixing little things around the apartment, keeping you company even when you didn’t ask for it. He was Chan’s best friend, and now, in his absence, he seemed determined to fill the void.

You appreciated it. You did. But it also made things more complicated.

“You didn’t have to come,” you said, closing the door behind him.

“You didn’t answer my texts,” he said simply, his tone more matter-of-fact than accusatory. He shrugged off his coat, hanging it on the rack beside Chan’s. The sight of them together, one belonging to the past and one to the present, made your chest tighten.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

“It’s fine,” he said. “I just... wanted to check on you.”

You nodded, retreating to the couch. He followed, sitting down beside you but keeping a careful distance.

“How are you holding up?” he asked after a moment.

“I’m fine,” you said automatically, though the crack in your voice betrayed the lie.

Jisung sighed, leaning back against the couch. “You don’t have to say that, you know. Not with me.”

You didn’t respond, your eyes fixed on the cold tea on the table.

“It’s okay to not be okay,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

You closed your eyes, willing the tears to stay at bay. “I miss him,” you admitted, your voice shaking.

“I know,” Jisung said.

You looked at him then, and the raw emotion in his eyes nearly undid you. He missed Chan too, you knew that. They’d been inseparable, practically brothers. Losing him had shattered Jisung in his own way, and yet he was here, trying to hold you together when he was still piecing himself back.

“Sometimes I feel like he’s still here,” you said, your voice barely audible. “Like if I turn around, I’ll see him standing there, smiling like nothing’s wrong.”

Jisung swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I feel that way too,” he admitted. “It’s like... he’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time.”

Silence settled between you, heavy with the weight of shared grief.

“I don’t know how to move on,” you said after a while, your voice trembling. “I don’t even know if I want to.”

Jisung shifted closer, his hand hovering near yours before he pulled it back. “You don’t have to move on,” he said softly. “Not in the way people think. You can carry him with you. It doesn’t mean you’re letting go. It just means... you’re finding a way to keep living.”

His words hit something deep inside you, something you’d been avoiding. You turned to look at him, and for the first time, you really saw him—not just as Chan’s best friend, but as someone who was trying to navigate this loss just like you.

“I’m scared,” you admitted, your voice breaking.

“I know,” he said. And then, after a beat, “Me too.”

The space between you seemed to shrink, the air charged with something you couldn’t quite name. His gaze dropped to your lips for a fleeting second before he quickly looked away, guilt flashing across his face.

“Sorry,” he muttered, pulling back.

“Jisung...” you began, but you didn’t know what to say.

He stood abruptly, running a hand through his hair. “I should go,” he said, his voice tight.

“Wait,” you said, standing as well.

He paused, his back to you, his shoulders tense.

“I don’t want to be alone,” you admitted, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.

He turned slowly, his eyes searching yours. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice laced with both hope and hesitation.

You nodded, though your chest felt like it might cave in. “Stay.”

He hesitated for a moment before stepping closer, his hand reaching out to brush against yours. The touch sent a shiver down your spine, and for a brief, reckless moment, you wondered what it would feel like to close the distance completely.

But then the guilt hit you like a tidal wave, and you pulled your hand away.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, tears welling up again. “I can’t—”

“It’s okay,” he said quickly, his own eyes glistening. “I get it. I do.”

The tension between you was unbearable, a mix of longing and guilt and something you couldn’t name.

“I’ll stay,” he said finally, his voice steady despite the turmoil in his eyes. “But only as long as you need me to.”

You nodded, the tears spilling over as he pulled you into a hug. You clung to him, the warmth of his embrace both a comfort and a reminder of what you’d lost.

And as the night stretched on, you stayed there, tangled in a web of grief and love and the haunting presence of the one who was no longer there. The ghost of Chan lingered between you, a silent witness to the connection you and Jisung were too afraid to fully acknowledge.

For now, it was enough. But you both knew it couldn’t stay that way forever.

[bartxnhood]

why won’t you love me? a.f.i & c.t.h

calum hood x fem!reader, ashton irwin x fem! reader.

summary: after finding out calum had left you, ashton came to your rescue but he had his own secret

warnings: oh god there’s so much angst, strong language, angst, and did i mention angst? oh and no happy ending.

a/n: hi guys !! it’s been a while song i had an original work but this is all for my 5sos ppl <3. i hope you enjoy !! feedback is appreciated !!

disclaimer: this in no way shape or form represents calum hood as a person. this is strictly fiction and written for entertainment purposes. thank you.

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

you stared out the passenger window feeling like you had just lost everything in your body. the only thing you felt was numbness. no pain, no sadness, nothing. you had cried out all your tears, you were left numb

ashton looks over at you from the driver's seat, his heart aches knowing how hurt you are, and how he made you like this. it broke him. ashton was your best friend and he tried to do everything in his power to be there for you and protect you.

but he just couldn’t protect you from this. from him.

“stop blamin yourself.” you manage to get out, looking over your shoulder at him. he looks confused, you had been silent the whole car ride and he was sure how you know his thoughts without him verbally telling you.

“what?” he questioned.

“you’re blaming yourself for this” you stated, followed by a drawn-out sigh and looking back towards the window. “you always do it when something happens. you couldn’t have known he’d do this.” you hear him sigh, but it was a long drawn one. “i should’ve thought. i was there, i was on tour. i could’ve stopped him. i just..” you hear the frustration in his voice and it makes you feel so small.

“ash..” you trail off but he interjects, “no, y/n!” he punches the steering wheel, “i had all the opportunity to stop him if i had just known he..that he’d do that to you i wouldn’t have let him do it.” his voice breaks, a lump getting caught in his throat.

“stop it, ashton.” you sit up in the passenger seat, now facing him. “i..” you breathe, feeling that lump in your own throat now. “it isn’t your fault, you couldn’t have known.” you drop your head into your hands. tears want to fall but you had cried out everything in your body. “he’s… he's always been this way. i should’ve known better than to trust him being gone for most of the year.”

you watched as his knuckles turned white, gripping the steering wheel. ashton shook his head, “no..it just isn’t fair to you.” he was beyond mad, he was furious. he’s pissed that his best friend, or who he thought was, would do something like that to someone as precious as you were. “i know, ash. but there’s nothing we can do now. it’s done.”

calum loved you. at least, he thought he did. he bought you a ring, thinking it was the right call. he loves your laugh in the middle of the night when he made a stupid joke, he loves how much you admired his work and supported him.

he loved how you looked when you went out to a party. how you’d dress up for him. but deep down he wasn’t in love with you. deep down he knew his heart belonged to someone else.

his distance began to become noticeable after a couple of months. it seemed he had already checked himself out of the relationship a while ago. you were left self-conscious wondering why he didn’t love you anymore, or why he abandoned you, mentally.

you knew something was going on with him, but you never thought it would be something that would ruin your relationship or what the two of you had planned.

you weren’t expecting the call from your best friend, brandy, to call you one morning saying she was sorry you had to find out like this.

you looked at the link she sent you which had detailed photos of your fiancé and another woman, spotted many times.

in that moment, everything fell into place. his absence, how he suddenly didn’t treat you like his partner anymore. it was because he was seeing someone behind your back, actively.

“cal?” you speak up, walking outside to the patio where he sat smoking a cigarette.

“hm?” he hums, looking up from his phone eyebrows slightly raised.

“what’s this?” you question as you shove your phone into his face.

he takes a moment to examine the pictures and you see the look of realization and relief wash over his face. “well?” you interrogated.

“who told you?”

you blink, laughing dryly. “brandy just called me”

“oh.” he answers, then falling silent and goes back to his phone.

“‘oh’? is that really all you have to say?” you ask, turning your phone off and stuffing it into your pocket.

“what do you want me to say?” he asks, not bothering to look at you.

“that’s it i’m leaving.” you say, walking back inside from the patio

he’s silent, staring at his cigarette. “where are you going?”

“anywhere but here. i’ll call ashton.”

he scoffs, taking a long drag of the cigarette and blowing the smoke from his lips. “it’s always ashton” he says under his breath.

you soon around and stare blankly at him, “what?” unable to even come up with the right words.

calum looks at you with cold eyes, “it’s always ashton. you’re always by his side or he’s always by yours.” he dunks the cigarette in the ashtray putting it out. “pretty sure you were screwing him behind my back”

you dryly laugh, “i gave you my life calum hood, and you ruined it. i trusted you with everything in me because that’s what a good fiancée does. she trusts her partner to not cheat on her while he’s on tour!”

he laughs dryly running his hand over his head. “just tell me, cal” you’re mindlessly throwing stuff into your suitcase. “tell me why is it so hard for you to love me back? why won’t you love me? i’ve given you everything.”

“i never asked you to give me everything.” he’s looking away from you, sighing heavily. “it’s not that i don’t love you. i can’t love you”

you stare at him blankly, mascara staining your cheeks. you felt like your heart had been ripped out, looking at the man you thought you had loved. the man you wanted to give everything to. “what?” you blink, and he finally looks up at you. “i can’t love you, because i love her. she’s the one i want to be with. it’s always been her, y/n….” he pauses,“i tried loving you. but you just aren’t her.”

you cover your mouth, in shock. unable to comprehend his words which struck you like a knife. “i can’t believe you..” you muttered through your tears as your turned around and began your way upstairs to the bedroom.

you can feel him following you a few steps behind, his eyes linger on your figure as you mindlessly threw clothes into your duffle bag. just enough to do you for a couple nights until you can get the rest of your stuff. “they warned me about you..and i should’ve listened” you say, not bothering to look at him.

“who?” he asks coldly. you turn around, meeting his dark eyes staring into your soul. “everyone. luke…ashton…your sister…mike..everyone.” you say, closing the duffel bag. “just don’t even worry about it now. we’re done.”

you grab the bag and begin walking past him. but, you pause looking down at your hand where the ring lays. you turn around and throw it at him. “i never want to see you again.”

he watched as you proceeded down the stairs where you exited the house. finding ashton waiting in the driveway.

ashton watched as you sat on the sofa, brows furrowed while staring at your empty ring finger. “it’s late” he says, coming up behind you. you just shrug, “can’t sleep” you hear him sigh and he walks around the sofa to take a seat next to you. you see him peer around, brushing your hair from your face. “talk to me..” he whispers.

you finally look up at him showing the makeup staining your face. “i don’t know what to say..” you croak.

he nods, “i have the guest bedroom ready for you, the bathroom is set with towels and-“ he starts but you cut him off, the pain in your chest is too great. the excruciating pain you felt every time your heart pumped made you want to throw something, you felt like your whole world was crumbling.

“i can’t be alone” you shake your head looking at him, “i..i can’t. i’m gonna go crazy..” he nods, hushing your cries. “shh, it’s okay..shh..” he pulls you in and holds you close to him. “just breathe.”

he holds you for as long as you need, his heart aches at each broken sob you let out. he holds you as tight as he can he can’t stand to see you like this.

ashton loves you. it is so easy for him to love you that it frightens him. he’s never been good at anything. but hes never wanted anything so much as he wants to hold you every waking minute. he’s at home when you’re around, he feels himself falling more and more in love with you.

ashton knows it’s wrong, he knows he shouldn’t feel this way when you’re in so much pain. he knows it’s selfish to think of himself as a savior. but he knows he isn’t.

you’re suffering and all he can think about is how much he loves you.

“cmon, we need to get you ready for bed..” he says into your hair, quietly. you nod and let him help you off the chair into the master bathroom. he sits you on the toilet as he gets you some extra clothes and towels. you sit there emotionless and when ashton returns he looks down at you, reaching for a rag, baby wipe, or something to take your makeup off with.

he succeeds, finding some makeup removers and then bends down to your level. “can i?” he asks and you nod. he nods back, opens the package takes out a wipe, and begins cleaning off your day-old makeup. you say nothing and he says nothing. just carefully removing the makeup with his gentle touch. he thought that even though you are exhausted, in pain, and very miserable you still look so beautiful.

“i’ll run the water now, i’ll leave you to get cleaned up,” he says as he stands up throwing away the used makeup remover towelette. you nod, watching as he turns the water on and connects the shower head. “if you need anything, i’ll be right outside.” he smiles, closing the door behind him.

you didn’t know how long you were sitting there, you don’t even remember undressing and stepping into the shower.

you were probably in there for close to an hour, just standing there but ashton waited for you. he occupied himself with his phone but it didn’t do much considering he was so worried for you.

when he heard the door unlock and open, his eyes shot up from the phone screen and landed on you.

you had looked so defeated, your hair was still damp and dripping on some of the clothes he had given you.

“feel better?”

you shrug, walking over and plopping down next to him on the bed. “i don’t know..” you answer just above a whisper. he nods, sighing as he stands up from the bed. “well, i’ll let you be. i’ll be across the hall-“

you cut him off, “no” you look up at him. “please, just stay. like old times.” he looks hesitant but ashton walks back over to the bed and crawls back on the bed. “of course” he says softly.

“i’d never leave you”

you continued to stay with ashton for the next few months, even though you were searching for an apartment he still insisted on having you stay. one, because he loved your company and he had just gotten so used to you being around.

he watched you heal, he helped you heal and honestly, you just weren’t ready to be alone just yet. so, he let you stay for as long as you wanted.

life had slowly begun to improve, ashton kept you afloat and made sure you were safe. he didn’t let you go one day without making sure you were doing something to occupy your mind, so you don’t slip into your mind.

often times you were sat next to ashton in the studio as you occasionally help him write songs the guys had started. you didn’t have the talents like the other four, but ashton would ask your opinion and even using some of your ideas.

you sat bored on your phone, eventually dropping it to your lap as you stare at ashton’s back as he was humming melodies to himself. you stare at all of the papers sprawled out on the table and floor, your brows furrowed reading some scribbles that were supposed to be lyrics. your eyes land on a piece of paper with the lyrics, We're together, all alone tonight So helpless from the other side So why won't you love me?

you feel tightness in your chest, your eyes gloss over with tears. all the memories of you and calum flood back and you. you drop the paper and ashton hears your sniffles and he looks up.

he’s met with your swollen and puffy eyes, “y/n?” you look up at him, and break down. broken sobs filled the studio as he rushes to your side “what is it?” he asks wrapping his arms around you, letting you cry into his chest. “why won’t he love me?” you say, followed by a loud sob stuck in your throat. “why couldn’t he love me?”

you continue to ramble incoherent sobs and ashton tries his best to soothe you. but, he knows he can’t fix everything.

you deserve so much better, even if ashton isn’t what you need. he will always love you. as he’s rubbing your back, hearing your broken sobs he feels heartbroken and helpless.

“i love you..” he says quietly into your hair.

“i love you too, ash” you say, sniffling.

ashton falls silent for a moment before sighing. “no, y/n. listen to me” he pulls you away from his chest, his hands on either side of your face as his thumbs while away your tears. “i love you” he’s looking into your eyes now, and you don’t know how to take what he’s telling you.

“i’m not asking you to love me more than just your friend, but you need to know that i do love you. you’ve been the only constant in my life, y/n. you deserve the best, even if it isn’t me. i’m not asking you to do anything you don’t want to, but you need to know.”

ashton knew it was wrong of him to drop the ball on your so suddenly, after calling it off with calum just a few months ago. ashton was sure you probably would hate him after this but he needed to get it off his chest or else he might explode.

“ash..” you sigh, your eyes close and had only hoped that this was some kind of joke, because if he had told you before getting serious with calum, you feel even more crushed hearing the confession spill from your best friends lips.

“im sorry. i really am, and i know you don’t want another relationship but i will always wait for you..” ashton follows, still looking into your eyes.

you fall silent for a moment, admiring his hazel eyes while your heart continues to ache with each beat.

“y/n?” you don’t answer, you just sigh as you shake your head. “just.. just hold me ashton. please.”

ashton pulls you in, letting your head rest against his shoulder and his finger draws circles on your back. you close your eyes, your mind is racing and you just want to turn it off.

“im sorry, y/n..” ashton’s says quietly.

[campbyler]

What are Mike and Will’s top three artists? (Idk if you’ve mentioned it before sorryy)

oooh i don’t think we’ve named specific favorites for them before!! i don’t know if we’ll be able to just name Three (edit: coming back to proofread after typing out this ask. i did not just name Three), bc to me acswy mike and will both have pretty varied music tastes — i think they’d both listen to a lot of different genres and artists, especially music that their friends/family/assorted loved ones introduce them to that might not be something they’d usually go for.

mike: we did mention in ch2 that mike has a demon days poster above his bed in the blue cabin, and while i don’t think gorillaz is one of his Favorite groups by any means, i do think he 1. listens to them a lot while driving specifically and 2. just reallyyyy loves their album art. to me mike is also such a pop punk enjoyer, so i think some of his go-tos include bands like all time low and paramore and blink-182, probably with a little midwest emo thrown in bc the boy did literallyyyyy grow up in indiana. i do also think he has a soft spot for feel-good pop, especially boyband music like 1D and BTR, and i think 5sos is not technically a boyband (or that they don’t like to be called one? iirc? maybe?) but i think he would listen to them quite a bit as well! really and truly i think mike would just like a little bit of everything, and his fav artists probably rotate a lot depending on his mood.

will: always a jeff buckley enthusiast across universes to meeeee, and the clear answers here are also the cure/the clash and other oldies rock OBVIOUSLYYYY but i think he would also totally dabble in typical 2020s Male Manipulator Music lol with likeeeee peach pit and the backseat lovers and the strokes especially. i think he’d also be into midwest emo (cannot escape his fate), and maybe also deftones and ptv a little bit (<- self indulgent and me projecting but i am not sorry). i think he also has a soft spot for pop, but not really in the same way mike does — for example, el definitely makes him listen to a lot of carly rae jepsen and the like when they’re together, and he also has a lot of good memories of listening to older pop songs with his mom when he was younger! like. he hits shuffle on his liked songs and it’s destiny’s child followed by radiohead followed by jenny by studio killers. he contains multitudes i’m afraid

[paintyoureyeswithavividmind]

close to home | chapter forty seven

close to home | chapter forty seven

plot: the reader arrives at the Kingdom

series masterlist

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x f!reader Word Count: 1,502 Warnings: violence, blood, typical twd A/N: thank you for reading!!! I'm going to Boston this weekend to see 5sos and won't be home till Monday, so I won't be updating again until early next week--sorry lovelies!! Gonna try and update twice today if I can

When the horse led you through the gates of the Kingdom, you truly did feel like you were entering one. You felt more level-headed when they’d given you food and water on the ride back. 

There were people around, and you tried to take in as much as possible. Gardens and schoolchildren were sitting outside. There was a choir singing somewhere. And there was laughter. So much laughter. 

When you saw Morgan standing with a blond haired boy, you wanted to cry at the familiar sight. You climbed off the horse and set Tora down before running to Morgan. 

“(Y/N),” Morgan laughed when you crushed him into a hug. You were never particularly close to him, but he was a part of your group and your family. 

“Dianne said Daryl was here and supposed to stay here. Where is he?” You asked desperately as you pulled away from the hug. 

But the look on his face was enough to tell you he wasn’t here. “He left this morning. I’m sorry. “

You laughed, though, for the first time in a while. “It’s okay. It’s okay. He got out. He went to Hilltop, right?”

Morgan nodded and smiled at you. “Yes. Come on, we need to have the doctor look at you. And you will need to meet the King.” 

You looked at Morgan in confusion as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “The who?”

***

After getting an all-clear from the Kingdom’s doctor, and scarfing down as much food as you and Tora possibly could, Morgan led you to where the King was. You learned his name was Ezekiel, and he was a bit out there. 

But Morgan vouched for him, so you followed him into the ‘throne room’ with Tora by your side. When you walked into the room, your eyes widened, and you grabbed Morgan’s arm at the sight of a tiger. 

“What the fuck?” You breathed out. 

“Fair maiden,” King Ezekiel shouted, “I am honored to have you a guest in our fair Kingdom. I welcome you. And your furry beast.” 

You glanced at Tora, and started jogging up to catch her before she ventured too close to an animal that could kill her in a second. “I uh, um, thank you, sir. Your honor. King.” You stumbled over your words. 

“Our dear friends from the great Alexandria told me of your situation, and what happened. Although the Kingdom did not play a part in your troubles, you have its sorrow and thought.” King Ezekiel said. 

“Thank you,” You said, running your hand through Tora’s fur and trying to keep her settled. “I like your tiger.”

King Ezekiel smiled, “Her name is Shiva. And yours?”

“This is Tora; she’s been with me since before. Shiva?”

“The same as you,” The king said. He stood up and quietly told the man to his right something. You assumed it was to put Shiva somewhere because the man took the chains and led the big cat out of the room. 

Then he gracefully jumped from the stage and approached you. You got a better look at his face and admired it for a moment as he scratched Tora behind the ear. “I invite you and Tora to spend the eve with us here at the Kingdom. I can imagine you must want to get to the Hilltop as quick as you can. But I insist you take the night to recover.”

You glanced at Morgan, and he nodded, so you did as well. You were almost friends. You knew it. You knew in your bones that you didn’t have anything to fear from the Kingdom or its people. Morgan was here; he obviously liked it here. You were with friends. And that made you smile the biggest smile. “We can stay.”

***

King Ezekiel requested your presence after Morgan settled you in a room across from his. You opted to leave Tora in the room for a little while because you weren’t sure where the tiger was and didn’t want to risk it. 

Dianne came by with the message from the King, and she also brought you a fresh set of clothes. You’d never been more thankful when she told you to wash up first and brought you to the showers. 

So now, twenty minutes later, you were dressed in a black tank top and a flannel, leggings, and a near pair boots.They were used, but it made it better, because they were already worn in. 

The King sat across from you, and Morgan and a guy named Jerry sat with you. 

“Tell me, miss (Y/N), how you came to be with your group? I would love to know your tale.” 

You didn’t have any hesitation about telling him. Aside from the fact that you already considered him a friend, you felt like you could trust him and this place. So you told him about your life before and after the world's end. You told him about the prison after it ended and watched their horrified expression as you told them about Terminus. 

You didn’t tell them about the people you lost because even though it’s been some time, all the wounds reopened when discussed. 

And then, finally, you told them about Alexandria, how you got there, and what happened afterward. 

Your story took you through dinner, an assortment of chicken, and the freshest vegetables you’ve had in a long time. It was mouth-watering. You made sure to fold plenty of the chicken into a napkin, so you could take it to Tora. 

“Your journey is of greatness, and I am honored to have such a warrior amongst us,” The King said. 

“Do you like cobbler?” Jerry asked you. 

“Jerry,” The King said. 

Their exchange made you laugh, and you looked at Jerry, “Yes, I do.”

***

You sat with the King, Morgan, and Jerry for quite some time before the King suggested he give you a tour. You weren’t sure there was a point to it because you would be leaving in the morning, but you accepted because he made you feel like a friend. And with Sherry gone and not seeing your family in weeks, you desperately needed it. 

King Ezekiel showed you around the Kingdom, with Jerry and Morgan following closely behind. He pointed out the gardens, the apartments where most everyone resided. He should you the wells for water, in case you needed some, and the training ground for their ‘royal army’. You could see how proud he was. You believed him to be an accomplished leader. 

The sun was nearly set when the tour ended outside the building you would be staying in. You thanked both Jerry and the King profusely. 

“In the morn, I will have Dianne pack your supplies for the road and give you a weapon. I cannot, in good conscience, let you go out without one.” King Ezekiel said. “And, of course, my people know the way to the Hilltop. I will have a map provided and see if they can get you a car.”

“I don’t know how to repay you for this, but thank you, King Ezekiel.” You told him. 

He and Jerry bid their goodnights, and you and Morgan entered the building. 

“I feel like I’m in a fairytale here,” You playfully joked. “But I actually like it. It’s fun.”

“Many people do, I think that’s why they go along with it,” Morgan told you as you walked. 

When you got to the doors, you looked at Morgan. “Rick was here to get them to fight, wasn’t he? And the King said no?”

Morgan nodded, and you could see the contemplation on his face. “The Hilltop stands with Alexandria. Rick asked me to talk to the King about joining, but…”

You nodded, knowing how he felt about killing. “I think he will. He just needs to be pushed. Goodnight, Morgan. I’ll see you in the morning.”

***

Dianne brought you a bag with more than enough supplies in the morning. Enough to last you for at least a week. You made her take a decent amount of it back. You couldn’t take advantage of their hospitality like that. 

You met with the King for one last meal together, and while he tried to persuade him to stay, you wouldn’t budge. So he led you to the front gate, where a few guards were waiting. They succeeded in bringing you a car. 

“Thank you, King Ezekiel. Really.” You said. “I don’t think I’ve met someone like you for a long while. I really hope I get to see you again.” You told him. 

The King smiled and bid his goodbye, and you gave Morgan and even Jerry a hug. Then you and Tora climbed into the car. With one last look in the rearview mirror, you left the Kingdom, and headed towards home.

[yxngbxkkie]

art exhibits (h.h)

the song tears! by 5sos really help me finish this angsty fic for hyunjinnie 🤭 i hope you guys like it!

"Do you like art?" Ji-hun asks you, snapping you from your daze. You hum and glance towards the taller man. He smiles softly at you while taking your hand in his. "Do you want to go check it out?"

"We don't have to," you mumble, your gaze moving towards the art show that's currently happening. "I know art isn't your thing."

You try to continue walking when your date pulls you back, causing you to stumble. "Oh, come on. We've done the hobbies I like for the past two dates. It's your turn," he winks playfully before tugging you along.

A sigh leaves your lips as you follow him into the museum. You didn't know whose art was being showcased, but you couldn't care less. Art is art.

The two of you slowly walk around the first floor, spending at least five minutes at each art piece. "This is gorgeous," you whisper, taking in the woodsy scenery that's painted.

"Who's the artist?" Ji-hun whispers as well, his lips near your ear.

Your eyes shift to the name plate that sits underneath the canvas, your heart skipping a beat. Hwang Hyunjin. You swallow thickly and look back at the guy you're "seeing." "Can we go?" You ask him, not wanting to run into your ex-boyfriend.

Ji-hun furrows his brows and prevents you from walking towards the exit. "What? How come?" He asks, noticing the sudden change in your mood. "What happened?"

"I-"

"Y/N?" A familiar voice cuts you off, causing your back to stiffen.

You clear your throat and you turn to face Hyunjin. "Hi," you shyly greet him.

His brown eyes move from you to the man standing behind you. "Who's this?" Hyunjin asks, glancing down at your conjoined hands. "Your boyfriend?"

"Nothing's official. We've been on a couple of dates," you say vaguely, tucking some hair behind your ear.

"I'm sorry," Ji-hun interrupts, capturing your attention. "Who is this guy?"

Your ex-boyfriend holds a hand out to your date, a fake smile on his lips. "My name is Hwang. An old friend of Y/N's," he says with gritted teeth.

"We should get going," you pipe up, feeling the need to get out of here. "Congratulations on the art exhibit. You finally made it."

You bow your head slightly before pulling Ji-hun out of the museum. Hyunjin watches you leave, his heart sinking into his stomach.

"Was that Y/N?" Yongbok asks the brunette, looking up at him.

"Yeah, it was."The two don't say anything else to each other before Hyunjin walks away. Yongbok frowns, noticing the heartbroken look on his friend's face.

He walks out of the museum, hoping to catch up with you. Yongbok stands on his toes, looking over the sea of people that are walking along the sidewalk.

"Y/N!" He spots you and calls out your name, raising his hand. Your eyes meet him for a split second before he rushes over to you.

You're saying goodbye to the man beside you when he makes it to you. "Yongbok, what are you doing here?" You ask him, your fingers playing with your purse.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," he laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

"It was Ji-hun's idea. I-I didn't know it was Hyunjin's art exhibit," you tell him the truth.

Yongbok watches as your eyes keep glancing towards the art museum. "Did you want to go back inside?" He asks you with a small smile.

"I don't know what I want, to be honest," you whisper loud enough for him to hear. "I didn't think we'd be broken up when he finally achieved his dream."

The black-haired man rests a hand on your shoulder, squeezing gently. "I know that you guys aren't together anymore, but I think he'd appreciate you being there. You were his muse," he reminds you, offering you a small smile.

You nod your head as you think about all the times you spent in his studio with him. "You're right, Bbogi. Can you come with me?" You ask him, your fingers grabbing a hold of his shirt. "Just until I can muster up the courage to face him alone."

"Of course. You know we're always here for you," he smiles at you and he brings his hand to your hair, petting it lightly.

You wrap your arm around his waist as Yongbok drapes his over your shoulder. The two of you walk back into the museum and you notice Hyunjin standing with Bang Chan, a smile on his lips.

Chan nudges Hyunjin and motions towards you. His eyes meet yours and your heart starts beating fast. "I'll be right back," he mumbles to the older member before taking a sip of the champagne in his hand.

"I know you still love him and I believe he still loves you too. Talk to him," Yongbok whispers into your ear, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

You nod your head and take a deep breath. You meet Hyunjin halfway, grabbing a glass of champagne along the way. "You came back," he mumbles.

"I couldn't miss your art exhibit could I. Not after everything you went through to make it happen," you say with a tight-lipped smile.

"I'm glad you're here," Hyunjin sighs, his free hand reaching out to grab yours. "This wouldn't be possible without you."

You shake your head, a light laugh coming from your lips. "It would. You're an incredible artist, Hyunjin," you correct him, glancing down at your conjoined hands.

He squeezes your hand, his gaze moving to the floor. "Can we talk? Alone?" He whispers before looking around, noticing other people's eyes on you.

"Y-Yeah."

Hyunjin laces your fingers together, leading you away from the crowd of people. The two of you enter an empty space before the tall man in front of you turns to face you.

"So, you're dating now?" He starts off, causing you to let out a sigh.

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" You ask him, not really wanting to go into this topic.

He drops your hand and begins to pace in front of you. "Do you know how much it hurt? Seeing you with another guy at my art exhibit?" He asks with furrowed brows, a frown on his plump lips.

"Jinn-" you cut yourself off and clear your throat. "Hyunjin, I didn't know it was yours. He just asked me if I liked art and I tried to get him to do something else."

Hyunjin sits down on the bench before dropping his head into his hands. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of him. You start to feel your chest clench as you always hated seeing him like this.

You slowly walk over to him before combing your fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you," you whisper, tears brimming your eyes.

He nuzzles his head in your hands and he takes deep breaths. "I hate that you left. Why did you leave?" He sobs, lifting his head to look at you.

Tears stream down your cheeks, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I-I thought you'd be better off without me…" you trail off, gently biting your lip.

"Do you really believe that?" He questions, wiping the tears from his face. "You're the only one I want, Y/N. Now until forever."

You stop a sob from leaving your lips and avoid making eye contact with him. Forever? Hyunjin stands up from the bench, placing his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to look at him.

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course," you answer without hesitation, leaning into his touch. There's no going back now… You think to yourself as Hyunjin rests his forehead on yours. "You're the first guy I fell in love with."

He strokes your cheeks, a pleasant sigh coming from his lips. "Let me be the last guy you fall in love with," he pleads, moving to press kisses on your face.

You dip your head, your hands grabbing a hold of the blazer he's wearing. "I'm going to be honest," you mumble, finally meeting his eyes. "There's nobody that could replace you."

Hyunjin smiles down at you before pulling your face closer to his, his lips finding yours. Butterflies swarm around your stomach as you kiss him back. The kiss doesn't last long, and the brunette moves his hands to your waist.

"I'll have to tell the guy I've been seeing that it's off," you chuckle. Your heart feels like it's going to explode inside your chest.

"You're mine again."

-

tagging: @thewxntersoldier @spacegirlstuff @reddesert-healourblues

[fluentmoviequoter]

Teeth

Pairing: Vicious fic w/ EO!fem!reader (nonspecific to preserve the feel/suspense!)

Summary: The war between Victor Vale and Eli Ever is just beginning, and you find your place in it.

Warnings: spoilers for Vicious, graphic depiction of open heart surgery, violence (not exactly torture but it's on the bloodier side of things), angst, fluff at the very end

Word Count: 1.9k+ words

A/N: I got this idea while listening Teeth by 5SOS. I used the lyrics and highly recommend the song because it's great.

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist Directory | Victor Vale Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

“Steady,” you demand. “It has to be all the way to the heart. Without direct access, this will never work.”

A moment later, you can see into his chest cavity, his heart beating within reach. As you place your hand around it, his life becomes yours.

Eli Ever gasps as he wakes. He sits up, breathless, before he realizes it was just a dream. You would never do that to him, he knows. Eli looks over his shoulder, and you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Beside him, peaceful. You stir as he turns to face you, smiling in your sleep as he brushes his fingers over your cheekbone.

“Some days you’re the only thing I know,” he whispers. “Only thing that’s burning when the nights grow cold.”

“Nightmare?” you ask without opening your eyes.

Eli hums, and you place your hand on his and encourage, “You’ll heal from it. Just like you heal from everything else.”

“Yeah,” Eli agrees under his breath.

As he lies down, he can’t look away from you. Something inside of him pushes him to beg you to stay, make you promise to be there when he wakes up in the morning, but as you move closer to him, he knows he doesn’t have to beg. You’ll be there.

“Eli!” you yell from the other room. “Focus.”

Eli follows your voice, then pauses in the doorway of your shared bedroom to watch you. On the bed, you’re leaning forward with your head in your hands, whispering something to yourself.

“You okay?” Eli inquires.

You chuckle and answer, “I’d be better if I could get a moment away from you.” You close your eyes and sigh before you stand and turn toward Eli. “I’m sorry.”

Eli shrugs, and pressure builds in his chest when you reach out for him. “It’s fine,” he assures.

“No, I… I guess I’m just feeling lost. That’s no reason to push you away. Stay with me?” You smile as you brush your fingers through his hair. “Please stay with me, Eli,” you whisper.

Eli can’t speak, the pressure around his heart turning into a gripping pain. He nods and pulls you close. Immediately, the pain disappears, and he’s left with nothing but you.

You can feel Eli looking around as if he thinks something is missing. Moments like these are becoming more frequent, and you’re unsure how to deal with them. One wrong step, and you know he could leave you forever. Or worse.

“Stay with me,” you murmur against his shirt, speaking directly to his heart. “I’ll beg you to stay, Eli.”

“Sometimes you’re a stranger in my bed!” Eli accuses. “I don’t know if you love me or you want me dead.”

You clench your jaw and pull your arms tightly across your chest. There’s a hatred for Eli inside you, and you’re powerless to hide it.

“Something in the way you’re looking through my eyes…” Eli adds. “I don’t know if I’m gonna make it out alive.”

“What do you want to hear, Eli?” you ask. “If I tell you I love you, you’ll think I’m lying, but if I agree and say I hate you and want you to leave, you’ll say I’m baiting you! I can’t keep playing this game.”

“You’re the best thing in my life, I look at you and I see my wife. Then you turn into somebody I don’t know.”

You step toward Eli, daring him to come closer and say, “Take what you want, Eli. You and I both know you’re too scared to ask for it and this relationship was doomed from the beginning. So, take what you need and run. I won’t be surprised if I wake up alone.”

Eli’s arms drop as his gaze hardens. For a moment, you think this is the end. Then, he mumbles, “I just need some air. I’ll… I’ll be back tomorrow.”

As the door closes behind him, you sigh. There’s a photo from Lockland on the table beside you, and your smile between Eli and Victor’s masks makes you reconsider everything. But tonight, you have something important to do. Then you can call Eli and apologize. If he answers.

Your leg bounces as the phone rings. Your relationship with Eli isn’t new, but there’s still so much you don’t know about him. Like if he’ll accept your apologies or the lies you insulate them with.

“Hey,” Eli answers.

“Hi,” you greet, pulling your knees toward your chest. “Listen, I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have said those things to you- to anyone, because they aren’t true.”

“No?”

“Of course not. I love you, Eli. I love you more than anything else in the world. But if you decided that there’s something else, someone else, out there that would be better for you-“ you pause and take a shaky breath – “then I love you enough to let you go.”

Eli is silent for several seconds after you finish. He muses, “You said you’d call me in the morning to apologize and every little lie gives me butterflies. Better is with you, you’re the only thing saving me from myself.”

“You’re coming home?” you ask, avoiding looking at the picture of Victor beside you.

“Yes. In a while. There’s something I need to do first.”

“Oh, okay. Be careful, Eli. I love you.”

The line beeps as Eli hangs up, and you look down at your empty hands, pristine despite the feeling of blood running between your fingers.

Eli knocks on the heavy wooden door, then steps back to wait. He knows the woman who lives here, yet he’s never been inside. Something about her makes it hard to argue and easy to tell everything. Maybe that’s why she’s such a good listener and gives worthy advice.

“Eli Cardale,” a woman says as the door opens. “Or is it still Ever?”

“Serena,” Eli greets. “You look good.”

“I know. Here for personal reasons or is this another Midnight Incorporated thing?”

“No, no, business is great,” Eli assures. “It’s personal.”

Serena smiles as she opens the door wider. “By all means, come in, then.”

Sitting in her home library, Serena offers Eli a cup of tea before she sits back to listen to his worries, stories, and everything else he never planned to share but seems to let slip. The first time he came by, he accused her of lacing the tea with something to inhibit his control. She laughed and brushed him off, and as he shares the details of his relationship with you, he doesn’t even remember that encounter.

“It’s like she… she’s the kind of person who can fight so dirty but her love’s so sweet, talk so pretty but her heart’s got teeth,” Eli explains.

“And last night?” Serena presses. “What did you think during your argument?”

“That she was a late-night devil,” Eli answers. “But even when she’s like that, pushing me, hating me, the only thing I ever want to do is beg her to put her hands on me.”

“It’s sounds like you think she has some kind of power over you. Here I was thinking Eli Ever couldn’t get hooked by a pretty girl.”

Eli scoffs as he raises his cup. “You’d know, huh?”

“We had good times together, you and I,” Serena defends. “But this is about you, here and now. What are you going to do about the girl you see a future with but can’t survive twenty-four hours with?”

“I need her,” Eli admits. “But there’s these moments, a sense of clarity, where it seems like everything is fake, something she’s manipulated me into believing to keep me in this- this vicious love.”

Serena sets her mug aside, leans forward, smiles, and encourages, “Then make your own reality. If you want the clarity, grasp it and pull until her love shatters around you.” She leans back and shrugs. “But if you want the future, figure out how to make it yours.”

Eli nods as he stands, not because he feels ready to leave but because something urges him to. He knows what he wants, and while Eli has the clarity to see that you’ve been manipulating him, hooking him into a false love that makes it impossible for him not to return, he pulls. And everything shatters around him.

When Eli blinks his eyes open, you are standing above him. He tries to smile, but then he sees the look on your face. The look Victor gave him after Eli killed himself. Like he’s a monster.

“Welcome back,” someone says on the other side of the room.

You step back, and Eli tilts his chin to watch you. His eyes widen when he sees you and everything else in the room.

“Back to what?” Eli asks, his throat dry and scratchy.

“Reality.”

There’s blood on your shirt, a rose in Victor’s hand. You’re looking at him like you don’t know who he is. When Eli left your manipulative reality, he wasn’t expecting to come to this.

Blood on your shirt, a heart in your hand, Eli thinks. My heart.

“What did you do?” Eli demands.

“Nothing you didn’t deserve,” you answer carefully. “Tell Victor thank you for the get well present.”

“Oh, no,” Victor interjects. “Thank her. She’s the one who decided you should have something beautiful.” He twists the stem, raising the flower toward the light. “A desert rose. Poisonous, perfect, and deadly.”

“You said you loved me,” Eli says, his eyes on you.

“I said a lot of things,” you reply, putting pressure on Eli’s heart. “The only time I meant what I said was when you thought I was lying. I’ve never loved you, and no one ever will.”

You shift and lower Eli’s heart back into place. Blood covers your shirt, runs down your arms, and drips from your fingers as Victor lays the poisonous rose across his exposed ribs. He removes the clamps holding Eli’s incisions open, and the skin begins knitting itself closed over his heart.

“Try healing around that, Cardale,” Victor says.

“What was it you told sweet Serena?” you ask, faux sympathy on your face. “That my heart has teeth? Well, there’s one thing you didn’t learn. Those teeth bite. And now that your heart has poison in it and thorns wrapped around it, we’ll see who’s really the monster.”

“Victor,” Eli grits out. “When I get out of here-“

“I’m shaking in fear,” Victor deadpans, “but I’m going to stop you right there. You’re not going anywhere. Welcome to purgatory, Cardale. Enjoy dying, over and over and over.”

As you follow Victor out of the sterile room, you grimace at having any trace of Eli on your skin.

The last thing Eli hears you ask is, “Vic, do you think insanity is spread through bodily fluids like hepatitis?”

On the other side of the door, Victor thanks you for your help, then tells you to leave.

“Yeah,” you agree sarcastically. “One thing you should learn from that is I don’t give up. And you’re stuck with me until Eli meets his true fate. I just determined his fate for three days; I’m not walking away yet.”

“You heard her,” Sydney calls from the end of the hall. “And from Eli’s girly screams, I’d suggest not picking a fight for her.”

Victor sighs but waves for you to follow them. Holding Eli’s beating heart in your hands was a good start, but this fight is just beginning. Luckily, your heart, teeth and all, is still beating.

[serafilms]

song 23! try hard (5sos) + park sunghoon (spotify wrapped event)

she’s so out of reach, and i’m finding it hard ‘cause she makes me feel, makes me feel, like i try, like i try, like i’m trying too hard

happy birthday sunghoon! wrote this one especially without being requested because 23 is his jersey number and i wanted to celebrate him today :) hope he has the best day + year

Today starts out just like any other: Sunghoon wakes up thinking of you. Actually, technically his first thought was ‘Wow, I’m one year older today,’ but his next thought was about whether or not you’d wish him a happy birthday, so it still counts.

He checks his phone and fights his disappointment when he doesn’t see a text from you. Instead, he’s flooded both in the group chat and his private messages with well wishes. He sends polite ‘Thank you’s’ to his relatives, tells the guys to ‘fuck off’ in their group chat, and laughs at Jake’s very lengthy and emotional private text, which Sunghoon is sure his friend cried while writing.

Riki facetimes him seconds after seeing that he’s awake and tells him he’d better have his house ready for their joint birthday party tonight.

“Seriously, if your backyard is a mess when I get there, I’m going to clog your toilet so people piss in the yard and then you have to clean everything properly.” Ah, what an angel. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks, Riki.”

Then the younger hangs up, leaving a promise that he and the others will arrive before lunch for their planned ‘pre-party group only birthday pizza party’ and to help set up for the ‘real party.’ Sunghoon looks around his bedroom. It’s a little messy, because he lives in it so of course it is, but he knows the rest of his house is in order.

He already obsessively panic cleaned the whole place three days ago, when Jay confirmed that he’d sent you an invite. Man, he hopes you show up tonight. Not that he cares that much, of course (he cares very, very much). Because caring too much is bad, Sunghoon thinks. He can’t show his weakness, even when he is extremely weak. He wonders if he really has gone too far in his delusions and might now be descending into madness.

You care about him, or at least he thinks so, but you always seem so far above him, out of reach (“Is Y/N out of my league?” he asked once, chewing on his burger. “Yes,” chorused his friends. Lovely).

Sunghoon sighs and looks around at his room then begins to clean it up. He can’t have you seeing this mess (not that he’s being presumptuous in assuming you will be in his room or anything! This is Purely Hypothetical).

It’s only after he’s finished, and opened his presents from his family, and received the cake that his mother had delivered for him and the guys to enjoy that he finally opens the door and sees their faces.

Jake immediately tackles him in a hug, and Sunghoon feels like he can’t breathe as he squeezes him and shakes him around. His chest warms with happiness though, and through Jake’s shaking he glimpses Jungwon, Riki and Sunoo in front of him. Jake finally releases him and speaks.

“Sorry we’re late! We stopped for churros.”

Sunghoon furrows his brow. “You brought churros for the party?”

“No, I wanted churros,” Sunoo says, then takes a big bite. “Wan’ some?”

“I’m good,” he replies.

Riki pats Sunghoon on the back, then barges past him into the house and immediately begins examining it like some sort of teenage home inspector.

“Happy birthday,” says Sunoo, then follows Riki inside and immediately throws himself on the couch to finish his churro.

Jungwon repeats the sentiment then adds, “Jay and Heeseung are picking up the drinks and pizzas, they’ll be here soon.”

Thank god I made friends with Jay all those years ago, Sunghoon thinks, feeling very touched, Who else is rich enough to fund their friend’s birthday party?

“Very cool,” he replies, then drags Jungwon and Jake inside.

The other two arrive soon after and they enjoy a nice party without interruption for about 20 minutes until Sunghoon checks his phone and feels himself frown at it being void of notifications.

Are you busy, or did you forget his birthday? Do you just not care about him? If so, you should. He wore ripped jeans to impress you. He bleached his hair in the hopes you’d notice him (though that was also because he lost a bet with Jay). Is he just trying too hard?

“What’s up with you?” Heeseung asks him as he slaps a slice of pizza on top of another to make what is effectively a pizza sandwich.

“Nothing,” he mumbles.

Riki snatches his phone out of his hands and looks at the screen, where Sunghoon’s texts with you are open. “He’s pissy his girlfriend hasn’t texted him yet.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sunghoon says sadly, and Jake gives him a pat on the back in consolation.

“Don’t even stress,” says Sunoo airily. Sunghoon doesn’t like how unaffected he seems. Shouldn’t everyone wallow in his despair with him since it’s his birthday?

The younger continues, “I asked her yesterday and she said she’ll definitely be here. So we just need to make sure you look super hot tonight.”

He feels a flicker of hope arise in him.

“It’ll probably take a lot of work, but we’ve got time.”

The flicker sizzles and dies. He glowers at Sunoo. “Gee, thanks.”

However, true to his word, Sunoo makes sure that Sunghoon does look super hot. It’s actually insane how hot he looks. He admires himself in the mirror. Maybe being a try hard isn’t such a bad thing if he ends up looking as gorgeous as this.

The party starts without a hitch and is soon in full swing. His friends are all starting to get very drunk (except Jungwon and Riki, because Riki is waiting until midnight for the sake of integrity and Jungwon is a Good friend who is waiting with him) and Sunghoon feels himself getting a little cloudy minded too. But as he stumbles a little through the hall, he still can’t see you.

But there is someone who looks just like you at the end of the hall and in the kitchen right now. He walks towards them, squinting a little and hearing them laugh and say goodbye to someone who’s evidently leaving the kitchen. Wow, they even sound like you. As he enters the room, the person perks up and greets him, and when he blinks the blurriness out of his eyes, you appear in front of him.

Oh. “Hi Y/N,” Sunghoon says, flushing.

“Hey Sunghoon, happy birthday.” God, your smile is pretty. Your outfit is pretty too, and your hair and your face and your hands, where…

There’s a wrapped box in your hands, and you follow his gaze down to it, then start in surprise as if just remembering it. “Oh, yeah, this is for you! Where should I put it?”

Sunghoon is still trying to comprehend that you’re really here and talking to him as he tells you, “Just on the table is fine.”

Okay. This is his chance. Now or never. “Do you want to go to the backyard for a bit? I need some air.”

Maybe he’s hallucinating a little because of the alcohol (or delusion) but he swears you blush. “Sure.”

You follow him out to the back. He’s surprisingly steady for someone who’s had as many drinks as he has, and stops out on the back porch, turning to face you.

You clear your throat as he tries to get his pounding heart under control. “So how’s your day been so far?”

He can hear it beating in his eardrums, and hopes you can’t hear it too. “Yeah, good, good. Um, can’t really complain. I ate pizza.”

Sunghoon is really not sure what to say now. But apparently the alcohol in his system does, as he’s speaking before he’s even processed the words.

“Can I kiss you?” he says at the same time as you say, “I have another present for you.”

The both of you stare at each other for a moment, not having heard the other’s words. “What?” you ask.

Sunghoon feels his stomach churn and hears an alarm go off in his head. “Um, it’s nothing. You go first.”

You look away shyly for a second. Yep, you’re definitely blushing, he thinks. “I said I have another present for you. I was kind of waiting for the right time to give it to you.”

He’s surprised, if nothing else. “You didn’t have to get me two presents.”

He’s also curious. “So what is it?”

“Can you close your eyes?” You’re avidly avoiding his gaze.

Sunghoon obeys, and the darkness behind his eyes makes him all the more aware of the sound of his heart. He’s nervous and scared and anxious and frightened, and then all of it is melting away because your lips press themselves to his and you’re kissing him. You’re kissing him, and he’s kissing you. Sunghoon’s stomach flutters and he brings his hands to your waist. It’s a very good kiss, and he can taste a little bit of cake on your tongue as it deepens.

Then you’re pulling back and Sunghoon is metaphorically and literally breathless. You kissed him. He kissed you.

“Happy birthday, Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon’s face breaks out into a grin and he takes your hand, lacing your fingers together. He tugs you into his chest and looks down at you. “Thanks.”

And he kisses you again.

[indianamgc11]

prompt list

crossed out = already done

it is listed if it is in progress or if it has another part

angst:

- “the worst part of all this is that i still love you.”

- “i’m playing the villain, just like you wanted.”

- “from the day we met, i knew i’d hurt you eventually.”

- “i told you not to get too close to me.”

- “it was always going to end like this. wasn’t it?”

- “please tell me that at least a part of it was real.”

- “i gave up in you a long time ago.”

- “i wanna say that there’s still hope, but sometimes, things just don’t go our way.”

- “you didn’t call. you didn’t text. nothing.”

- “i hope someday you get a taste of your own medicine.”

- “i don’t know where we are.”

- i’m sorry, i’m so sorry.”

- “i’m sorry i’m not who you thought i was.”

- “swear it to me.”

- “he had it coming.” (in progress; luke hemmings x reader)

- “i can’t even act mad at you.”

- “i don’t care. i’m not leaving you.”

- “you’re playing a dangerous game. my game.” (in progress; luke hemmings x reader)

- “don’t tell me there was nothing.”

- “this can’t be goodbye.”

- “you didn’t miss me the way i missed you.”

- “you didn’t love me, did you?”

- “don’t go anywhere that i can’t follow.”

- “you don’t deserve me.”

fluff:

- “i hope you know how much you mean to me.”

- “i like my shirt on you, it looks cute.” (Ethan landry x reader)

- “yes, i have feelings for you. moving on…” (in progress; Ethan landry x reader)

- “hold my hand. you’re going to be fine.”

- “your hair is really soft after you wash it.”

- “you can ask me as much as you want, i’m gonna say that i love you each time.”

- “oh, just shut up and let me take care of you!”

- “i love your smile”

- “safe and sound, hm?”

- i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still.”

- “you must be freezing— here, take my jacket.”

- “would you just let me take care of you?”

mixed/miscellaneous:

- “you taste like my new addiction.”

- “was that supposed to happen?”

- “i’m here for business— not pleasure.”

- “you look like you’ve got something to say.”

- “makes me want to wreck you.” (pt. 2 coming soon; Ethan landry x f!reader)

- “text me when you get home.”

- “would you like a distraction?”

- “it’s okay, you can touch me, i won’t break.”

a/n: i might keep adding to this, depends.

i write for 5sos, jack champion, ethan landry, and spider socorro

I will still take requests for prompts already completed for another person :)

(ex: if a prompt was written with Ethan already and you would like it written with a different person, you can request it with that person, for example with Michael)

[nuclearplutonium]

Dividers

Ello! I’m Charlie (#1 Chief fan and #2 Ann fan) buuut you can also call me Orion or Rory! :D

more info about me: https://en.pronouns.page/@CH4R71Z4VRVZ

Check out my new and totally awesome strawpage!

Alterhuman therian and fictionkin, my theriotypes are black wolf, snow husky, and a T-Rex <33

Cracklin, Chief, Mr. R, Sketchpad, Airy, Gerbo, Thomas Flyswatter, Exclamation Mark, Doorstopper, Clock, Fridge DJ, WWF Tile, Printer, Season17, Lightbulb, Taco, Bot, Cabby, Fan, Yoshka, Yulka, Zara, Cheppy, Socka, Charmy, Edgar, Fossil, Mushroom, Wagyu, Minty, Razor, and Orange Herald are all of my favorite characters/kins :3 (OUTDATED)

I’m an artist and a little bit of a violinist (I mainly speak English but I also speak Russian!)

I am a MINOR!!! I am ok if adults (NOT THE SEX BOTS) interact with my blog or me in general just don’t be creepy or kinky about it please.. (read dni list for specifics)

My blog is not meant for younger audiences, therefore I am telling you all that this is a 16+ BLOG. mainly because I’ll post art with mildly suggestive themes in it or reblog something weird.. whatever it may be, I just want to protect the little itty bitty babies that happen to stumble upon this beautiful yet horrifying tumblr blog .-.

currently locked in @thesillygoober7’s basement (GO FOLLOW HIM PLEASE THAT MIGHT MAKE HIM FINALLY LET ME OUT OF HERE)

old acc is @charlibugg T_T

Here’s most of the stuff I like ! Purple = ION💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Blue = VERY VEEERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VEEERRYRYYY HYPERFIXATED

Green = LOVE ITTT

Orange = Cool cool I like it

Red = Eh… I mean it’s fine.. II/III, I.O.N/И.О.Н, TNM, TPOT, EEE/THREEEE, BURNER, 5SOS, ONE, CFMOT/ИНМТ, Objectified, TDOS, LoTS, Animatic Battle, Bugbo, Dreamophrenia, Sprunki, Max Design Pro, Warrior Cats, Smiling Friends, ATHF, Gravity Falls, Villainous, Countryhumans, DHMIS, Electric Dreams (1984), Ride the Cyclone, Pink Corruption, Homestar Runner, Regretevator, Mouthwashing, Homestuck

besides fandoms I hyperfixate on time to time… I also LOVE nuclear reactors, dinosaurs, cats, epic guitar solos in music, whatever the hell plutonium jazz is, and I just genuinely love learning ANYTHING about nuclear physics and energy :3 (oh and lollipops, I love lollipops)

Some games I really like (not Roblox games) are In Stars and Time, JSAB/Just Shapes and Beats, Fallout 4/Fallout: New Vegas (IM SORRY FALLOUT 76 IS SO BORING AND BUGGY AAAAA), Omori, Mouthwashing, Sims 2-4, Tomodachi Life, Miitopia, Cardpocalypse, Wobbledogs, Pikuniku, Ooblets, Splatoon 2-3, Dragon Quest: Builders 1-2, Minecraft, Wandersong, JSAB, and AC:NH :3

and most of the bands/artists I listen to (current hyperfix band will be written in bold) are MSI, sElf, Will Wood/Will Wood and The Tapeworms, Human Zoo, The Scary Jokes, Sodikken, Machinery of The Human Heart, Lemon Demon, Tally Hall, Bondage Fairies, And One, Nine Inch Nails, STOMACH BOOK, Ken Ashcorp, KSB Muzic, LiteralHat, YFM, Limp Bizkit, Insane Clown Posse, Gorillaz, Tyler the Creator, System Of A Down, Foo Fighters, That Handsome Devil, Sacri, They Might Be Giants, Oingo Boingo, Weird Al, Jhariah, MAMA RUSSIA, Lenin Was A Zombie, and Drive45!

I have Autism, ADHD, (I have some sort of Anxiety disorder too, forgot what it was called though) and Depression.. so sorry if I don’t talk/respond to asks or dms quick enough or I don’t answer them properly… I’m a very shy person. So please text me first if you want to dm me, if you’re a mutual I’d love to talk to you! ^_^

ask box will close down sometimes, it is not a mistake usually, I just don’t feel like taking asks (or I’m being swarmed by donation asks and I feel overwhelmed) :3

DNI - uhhhh this (carrd not mine) ..also I will check your account once you follow me usually to see if you aren’t a weirdo, I block who I choose to block

Places I inhabit:

YouTube: Charlizardsb - CharlieSB

Spotify: Tonsillitis (yes that is my actual name on there shut up)

Pinterest: LIZARDWAZAZOMBIE - charred corpse

Instagram: Charlizardsb

Wattpad: spagheetee

Discord: (please DM me if you want my username)

TikTok: lizzardz.0n.steroidz

(Created: 1/15/24)

(Last updated: 11/14/24)

I reblog WAYY too many posts so if you’re willing to find my art search #bugs goof art

#Charlizard’s rabble ransoms - for random posts that are just filler or me going on a whole rant (will also be tagged for long posts too sometimes)

[hischierdevils]

Lover of Mine | J.M.

note: big thank you to @rowdyhughesy for encouraging me to finish this! I love writing for john and I’m so glad I have someone to talk about him with. Inspired by Lover of Mine by 5sos.

summary: a late night storm brings out some secret fears

warnings: lots of fluff, slight shark slander

wc: 1.3K

Lead to where your secrets are

Where we've been a thousand times

Swallow every single lie

Take all of me

A crack of thunder jolts you awake in the middle of the night making your heart race. You roll over searching for comfort, only to be met by empty sheets. “John?” You whisper into the darkness as you catch the time on his bedside clock. Where could he be at three in the morning? The bed is cold so you know he didn’t just run to the bathroom. 

A flash of lightning lights up the room as you get out of bed and pad across the floor to the door. Even though you’re expecting it this time, the next crack of thunder still causes you to jump. “John?” You call again softly to the dark apartment. 

You find him in the living room, standing in front of the big window watching the storm light up the sky. He jumps slightly as you wrap your arms around his waist from behind but then he relaxes and turns in your arms to face you. “Hey, baby. Why are you awake?” 

He smooths down your hair on both sides of your head before bending down to place a kiss on your forehead. “The thunder woke me up and you weren’t there.” You pout, hoping he’ll give you a kiss.

He obliges before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you tight to his chest. “I’m sorry.” He kisses your head again and you can tell something is bothering him. “I’ll come back to bed.” 

“Why were you out here?” You force yourself to pull away from his warm embrace so you can look at his face. Most of it is in shadow but the faint light from the window allows you to see the worry lines around his mouth and the way his eyes are downcast. You bring your hand up to cup his cheek and he leans into your touch immediately. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” He lies before turning his head to kiss your palm. “I just couldn’t sleep.” 

“John.” Lightning flashes throughout the room so bright you have to close your eyes followed closely by a rumble of thunder so loud it sounds like it hit your apartment building. You jump and he tightens his hold on you as he moves you both away from the window. “Talk to me.” 

“I had a bad dream.” He admits so quietly you almost don’t hear him. 

Your heart clenches as you look up at him. You know he’s been stressed with the trade deadline approaching. His name hasn’t come up in any trade rumors but that doesn’t mean it’s not a possibility. “What was it about?” 

“I got traded…” he confirms your thoughts. “...and we broke up.” 

If my name never fell off your lips again

I know it'd be such a shame

When I take a look at my life

And all of my crimes

You're the only thing that I think I got right

Confessing to his bad dream causes John to relive it all over again. In the dream, you had told him that you were tired of following him around the country for hockey. That you didn’t want to start over in a new city again and that you couldn’t keep doing it year after year, wondering if he’d get traded again. Dream you had told him that it was over, you had to break up with him.  He woke up in a panic with tears on his face as he looked over at your sleeping form. 

You were the best thing that ever happened to him and he couldn’t imagine his life without you in it. The two of you met at Harvard and you had followed him to Pennsylvania and now New Jersey. He knew it wasn’t fair to you but he loved you and couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. 

“I’m not going to break up with you just because you get traded, bub.” You assure him as you reach up to play with one of his curls. “I love you.” 

He smiles and bends down to kiss you. “I love you too.” 

“I’d follow you anywhere.” You tell him as you relax against his chest. “You should know that by now.” 

Doubt continues to creep into his mind. “What if I get traded to Vancouver?” 

You laugh as you step out of his arms and walk to the couch. “I’d prefer somewhere warmer. Maybe San Jose?” John follows you and sits beside you. “You look so good in red though and I don’t like their colors.” 

“Oh yeah?” He laughs as you curl into his side. 

“Yeah.” You yawn. “Maybe Anaheim will be a better color scheme for you.”

He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back as you rest your head on his shoulder. “I love you so much, y/n.” 

“I love you too, pretty boy.” He blushes from the nickname, burying his face in your neck as you run your fingers through his curls. “You’re stuck with me forever.” 

“I’m okay with that.” He mumbles into your skin, causing you to giggle. 

He picks his head up to smile at you and you quickly boop his nose. “You have the cutest little nose.” You tell him. “Hopefully one day our kids have it.” 

“Kids?” His hands tighten on your hips as he looks at you in surprise. “Our kids?”

“I wanna have your babies someday.” You explain as you trace the mole on his cheek with your finger. “Is that okay with you?” 

“It’s more than okay, baby.” He tips his head down to kiss you as he tugs slightly at your hair so you’ll open your mouth for him. He pushes his tongue through your parted lips as you move in his lap so you’re straddling him. He moans softly against you as you begin to rock your hips but a loud crack of thunder causes you to jump off of him. 

He stands up to pull you in for a hug, remembering you said that the thunder woke you up to begin with. “Will you come to bed with me?” You ask him quietly as you rest your head against his racing heart. 

“I have a better idea.” 

Dance around the living room

Lose me in the sight of you

I've seen the red, I've seen the blue

Take all of me

You watch him curiously as he walks over to the stereo and turns it on. A Taylor Swift song that you were listening to earlier starts to play and John walks back over to you to take your hand. “Dance with me.” 

“Bub, it’s the middle of the night.” You hesitate as another flash of lightning lights up the room, illuminating John in a white glow. “You have practice tomorrow.” 

He tugs on your hand, pulling you close to him so he can rest his free hand on your hip. “I wanna dance with my girl.” He gives you a quick peck before spinning you around. 

The sound of your giggles makes him feel like his heart is about to burst. “You’re such a goof.” You tell him as goes to dip you. 

“But I am your goof, forever.” He tells you once he’s holding you a few inches from the floor. 

You smile, a little breathless before he brings you back up. “And I'm yours, bub.”

As the two of you dance around the living room, you wonder how you got so lucky with him. He’s on the quieter side most of the time and more reserved than most of his teammates but he’s always given all of himself to you. 

Moments like this, dancing around the dark living room at three am with a thunderstorm as music, is what made you fall for him in the first place. It’s what you think about when he’s on the road and what keeps you following him city to city.