#sorry to get on a soapbox but i just dont know whats going on with this

[hoboblaidd]

☤: Blood Magic

ask meme - solas has opinions

I can’t even answer this in character because for SOME REASON the writers decided to do a complete 180 on Solas and blood magic, and right now I don't have enough non-contradictory info to throw bullshit into Solas' mouth (and I love throwing bullshit into Solas' mouth).

So I’m gonna theorize around what is probably just inconsistent writing - the same inconsistent writing that turned a potentially blood mage Hawke into a full on blood magic hater. It’s like in between each game they think they need to course correct on blood magic bc they don’t know what to do with it. 

BUT OK character stuff - In Inquisition, Solas is really progressive on blood magic - it’s a tool that can be used or abused like any other, and he doesn’t practice it simply because it allegedly makes his Fade walking more difficult.

But now he abhors it?? I have one of two theories on that: (1) in the intervening years between Trespasser and Veilguard, he’s seen so much blood magic used against elves in Tevinter and in the Grand Necropolis during the Mortalitasi’s tale that he’s completely turned off by it; or (2) (and this is more likely imo) he’s a lying motherfucker who is pretending to hate blood magic because he’s got ~plans~ that involve it, and he’s trying not to show his hand.

[critterbitter]

HELLO HI ID LIKE TO ASK WHAT PROGRAM AND BRUSHES YOU USE CUZ IM LITTERALY EXPLODING EVERYTIME I SEE YOUR ART

actually actually... *pulls out whole stack of paper*...I have. a FEW,, a good few,, questions to ask. they are not many I swear 😇

OK SO FIRST OF ALL HOW DO YOU DRAW SO FAST???? everyday I log onto Tumblr I always see something new from you and I get very very happy. But then I start to question my own existence because not even I CAN SPEED RUN ART LIKE THAT. AND SO SPECTACULARLY TOO

Last question! how do you color and make it look so well?? just. How. I need to know. This is a CRY FOR HE-

anyway thank you for being one of my favorite artists that always feed my brain rot, pls keep making amazing art because like a little yamper I will follow behind and stay updated.

(Stands there)

Response and thoughts under cut!

First question! What art program I use!

Mostly procreate, along with a handful of brushes! (Specifically the Jing Set and some custom stuff, which is really just a circle brush with the shape changed to a square.)

Second question! How do i draw so much!

Okay so. I am. Ahhah. Unemployed,,,,? No, I do freelance illustration, but hmm. A studio job would be nice.

i graduated college last year and I’m very used to eight hour art shifts. The body sort of remembers to keep working, even though I no longer have storyboards or visdev homework to do.

Also. The hyperfixation is a deep vast tunnel I STILL have not seen the end of the light to, good golly. (I have dreams now about the kids committing shenanigan crimes. I wake up in cold sweat and write them down in a journal. It’s like being the mouthpiece to an angry god.)

So the overall gist is: I was trained to be a storyboard artist with a visdev background, and I’m using that higher education to draw funny muppets because my brain’s funny.

I also DO have a queue, and I’ve been treating this as a sort of inktober project. I am definitely going to slow down soon though! Maybe. Hopefully. Ah… (sheepishly drops my kofi here)

Third question! How do i color!

I. I, uh. I dont know man the coloring demons have a grip on my soul and i just go along for the ride. But also, if it helps, i prefer to limit my pallets to only a few colors at a time. Lighting is king, so if you can figure out if you want to focus on either on your lights or shadows, you’ll have a much easier time composing. That, and symbolic colors— idk, something hits different about art drenched in gold with a tiny hint of a man staring into the blinding horizon, or a green leafy environment with a single dot of artificial red. I also like using blue and purple for shadows, and I’m a big fan of muting colors with only one or two that pop— one of the reasons why I was so attracted to submas in the first place is because from a design aesthetic, they’re both super funny muppet men AND really cool train guys that have a limited pallet and thematic apparel.

Overall response! THANK YOU SO MUCH. This goes out to a BUNCH of people who sent me inbox queries— sorry for not responding, it’s a tad overwhelming because some of them are story questions even I don’t really know will go yet, and others are words of praise and I’m selfish and like scrolling through the inbox to look at them when I feel down. I am more of an artist who sits in the corner and sprouts like a potato rather then a branching vine who socializes, but I really do see people’s responses and they make me go :)))))

Okay ramble over. Thanks for coming to the soapbox, and good luck on creating!

[maguneedsalife]

T'zekhwalker - Final Zenos Fight

i spent so much time here it needed its own post. i'd be lying if i said this one scene wasn't a main reason i pushed t'zekh through the main story (the other was i wanted him to get to 90/get the rdm artifact gear so he could wear his canon glam but you know)

so, some background for folks who are new here: t'zekh was the main wol for stormblood. he was the one zenos became obsessed with, and he has spent most of endwalker trying to get zenos to leave him alone. he knows zenos desperately wants t'zekh to kill him--to come at him with fire and rage and bloodlust--but t'zekh refuses to kill anyone no matter how much they deserve it.

i had been waiting so long for t'zekh to be able to do this dialog choice and the answer i had envisioned for him actually changed from the time i did this with aoife. originally i'd thought he'd go with option 2, but by the time i got here, 3 was more his style.

which ended up being a good thing, because zenos's response to that answer was fucking perfect for t'zekh

small aside--it drove me bonkers back when spoiler embargo first lifted and ppl (mostly on twitter) were INSISTING that answer 1 was the only possible canon answer and if you picked any of the others you were clearly playing the game wrong. even despite yoshi p confirming that there was no "correct" answer and the team had tried to write it so that players could respond to zenos the way they felt best reflected their own character's experience. people were STILL out there like "sorry but if you didnt pick option 1 you're just wrong"

so to see the text validate my choice and my hcs so perfectly has me feeling vindicated in this chilis. it is okay for people to have a different experience of the game than you!!! (i'll get off my soapbox now)

option 3 was perfect for t'zekh because he is finally fed up enough with zenos that he's finally willing to cast aside his moral opposition to killing in order to make sure zenos can't hurt anyone else in his name.

and zenos caught on to that and responded in kind.

anyway then i took a fucktillion pictures in the instance (most of which i'll put on my wol blog)

it was so hard to get them in the same frame lmao

and then i did the solo fight! not too bad on red mage, surprisingly enough - was very thankful to have vercure though lmao

this punch is still just as satisfying the second time

On my way to the last credits sequence i learned that you will actually fuck up the music timing if you skip or speed up the credits. it was playing revenge twofold when it was supposed to be playing flow together. that was very jarring. i don't know why they haven't set it to just start playing flow together for that sequence. dont skip the credits folks

and that's a wrap! i uhhh might have abandoned him before finishing out the quest so i could go farm memoria misera with aoife but im very happy to have (technically) beaten Endwalker with him before the year ended, which was one of my goals.

I think I started main story with him in January, so it's taken me about a year to get through... mostly what set me back was i had to make time/build emotional strength to make progress through parts I knew would be difficult emotionally. But I committed to not to skipping any cutscenes and just pressing on through a second read, and I'm glad to have embarked on this journey.

as soon as i finished endwalker the first time i knew it was going to be equally aoife and t'zekh's story. they both ended up having stakes in the plot in different ways, and getting to play through and see things from t'zekh's perspective was so much fun.

i still keep thinking abt the version of the ending in my head, wherein t'zekh is lying at the edge of the universe and all he can think is "i want to live, dammit!!"

and he hears a voice calling out to him.

"there you are!" aoife shouts, "I was looking all over for you!"

T'zekh has spent so much of the story kind of in aoife's shadow, grappling with what it means to be a "hero" in his own way. he spent a lot of stormblood resenting her absence.

but by the end of endwalker… i think they end up really close friends

---

Next, it'll be Banri's turn.... skipping as many cutscenes as possible so i can get him through before Dawntrail!

[sparring-spirals]

Okay, so I recieved an ask discussing Marisha and Taliesin's interactions last ep, and while I'm not going to publish the ask because it has a level of speculation wrt cast relationships/interactions I'm not personally comfortable with, I think the question was genuine, so I'm going to say a few things.

Firstly, to answer the base question: I don't think Laudna's actions were out of character, actually. I've already got some speculations on why this behaviour can be considered new to what we've seen so far, but that's not the same as "out of character". I can think of some reasons that are interesting and add layers of complexity, and honestly: we're still pretty new to Laudna? I'm much more inclined to adjust my understanding of Laudna than feel that it was "out of character".

Secondly- and this is more broad. I think if you find yourself speculating or worrying in-depth about the casts interpersonal feelings, relationships, possible tension or bad blood, etc, its very important, and helpful, to remember a few things:

1- The cast are adults

2- The cast are professionals

3- The cast are friends.

4- The cast are full humans that we don't know personally

5- The cast are not their characters

And I mean this kindly! With Critical Role you devote many hours of your time to watching these people talk, they all roleplay VERY intensely, you might spend a ton of time picking apart and analysing the minutiae of character expressions, speech, interactions. And with the way the cast poke fun at each other both in and out of character, it makes sense the lines get blurred. But, quite frankly, that only makes it more important that you can separate the two, and conduct yourself responsibly with these kinds of things.

(more in depth thoughts below the cut. Sorry, this got LONG)

The cast are adults, the cast are friends, the cast are professionals. This is my main "take" whenever I see speculation about "is ____ mad at ___?" "does ______ resent ________?" "do you think ______ is feeling upset/sidelined/offended by _____?"

They are probably not genuinely unhappy with each other, they've been broadcasting this game live for 7 years and friends- actual, IRL friends, for longer. They presumably like each other, and are used to working things out with one another, personal and professional. They are adults, they probably know how to hash things out, instead of passive aggressively vibrating with tension at a table. They can talk to each other, they know how to talk to each other, they have to talk to each other because this is also a professional venture.

Momentary disagreements, friction, tense conversations, are going to happen in this kind of format, when they all rely heavily on improv, roleplay, and willingly engage with flawed characters and realistic interactions. If they put you on edge, or you feel unsure about them- that's fine! That's okay! But attributing them to cast interpersonal relationships, trying to anticipate tension or secret simmering tensions- is, in my personal opinion, deeply unhelpful, and only going to cause you grief. We see these people interacting, uncut, for 4 hour chunks. If you convince yourself of something- its going to be very easy to find more evidence, and then, you can't really do anything about it other than worry about the personal relationships of people you dont know.

So, for me, this is my thinking:

1- Tension is largely in character, and intentional, and the cast loves committing to it and know how to separate the two.

2- If it isn't, sometimes heat of the moment or roleplaying Vibes can factor in, and that makes sense, and again, the cast know how to separate the two.

3- Even if its something that extends out, or sticks, the cast know how to interface, check in, etc, with each other to address concerns and communicate, and will probably work it out.

4- It is their job, and their responsibility to do that, if something came up. Me doing rampant speculation and catastrophizing on the side does nothing but ruin my own experience.

5- Furthermore, they're actual people, and extending the analysis and speculation I do on their characters is... uncomfortable, and I personally don't want to do that.

6- They seem like reasonable enough people. They've got a good track record. It'll probably be okay.

So- I don't think you've got anything to worry about. But more importantly, for your own sanity, and enjoyment, remember that the cast are people- generally nice, reasonable, fully fleshed people we do not know, not their characters, or props or figureheads. And proceed accordingly.

[nothorses]

is it even worth it to try to call a popular user out on transandrophobia? i definitely dont have the platform for it but im really surprised to see this person having their disrespectful takes and jokes glossed over by so many trans men. claims to be an ally for us, (barely). it seems like a losing battle. just block i guess?

tbh I think the idea of "calling out" here just ends up being counterproductive.

What's the goal- to get them to change and grow, or to make sure people know they have these ideas? I'm guessing by your phrasing here ("just block I guess?") that what you want is to see a change from this person, and if that's the case, calling them out isn't very likely to do that.

If someone tells all your friends that you did something wrong before ever talking to you about it first, how does that compare to when people approach you personally to challenge something you've said? Maybe you'll change your behavior in the former situation, but how easy is that to do vs. when you're given the opportunity to make that choice in a more compassionate way?

I'll get off my soapbox, sorry. My point is just that if you actually want to see change, the better approach is probably going to be just messaging them with the assumption that they don't know any better, and some new information to consider. (ex: "Hey I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it, but the implication I'm seeing from this post is X [supported by Y, sucks because Z, etc]. You can do with that what you want, I just thought I'd toss that over for your consideration.")

If they don't want to listen, learn, or grow, then yeah, don't waste your energy. 🤷‍♂️ Choose to ignore it or block and move on. At the end of the day, it's really not your responsibility to get random individual strangers to change- and it really shouldn't be.

[felidaefatigue]

sorry im soapboxing a lot but i have too many thOUGHTS also tw cause this is even darker and heavier than previous

Also. I feel like theres a fundamental part of being a human were we are coded biollogically to always want Better. like hope and improvement and joy and satisfaction of a task are like hard coded and integral. Potential. like how vehemently people can oppose abortion simply based on the Idea of Potential life. how much we push for people not to commit because it can get BETTER. and it cant get better, you cant prove the potential of life, if youre dead.

and i do think there is beauty in that part of humans.

im certaintly glad i never succeeded in achieving death when i wanted it. it did get better. and thats awesome. and im glad i didnt have easier access to ways of achieving that.

but the thing with that. and ima trigger warning this next part becausr you probably shouldnt read it if you are seriously depressed.

but that gratitude and happiness for not being able to have died. it requires hindsight. you cant regret something if you are dead. the people who end up going through with this wont regret it. because they cant. like. im not saying people SHOULD by ANY MEANS or that maid as it is is good or without flaw. but IN REALITY. it means a suffering person wont be suffering anymore. and that is, just by hard facts, a positive.

regardless of how shit this is for our society and for communuties and what we prioritize. the outcome ultimately will be. less suffering. you dO NOT HAVE potential once you are dead. sure they might have lived great amazing lives if they dont die and if our society fixes itself magically and no one should be pushed to it. but their reality is suffering. and they can only currently predict more suffering. with no end. and no solution. death is a solution to that. its a permanent one. it might not be a good one. but it is one. and that Individual will only experience the sadness and grief of loss of potential and utter god damn relief knowing they wont suffer any more.

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

So. I think I have....some kind of disassociative....thing going on. It's not DID, and I *dont* think it's OSDD? Or maybe it is. I'm not asking for a Diagnosis, just thought I'd throw my experience out there and see if you or one of your followers experienced anything like it.

So like, I do a lot of writing. And when I'm writing it's almost like i.....am? The character? And extends to outside of writing, too. Like if I spend a lot of time in one character's headspace I feel like I am the character, to the point where sometimes I'm startled when I look in the mirror and my face and body are my own instead of the character's.

Happens when I do acting, too. I'm Really good at acting and stuff like RP in DnD. It's a little easier to come out of a tabletop character's head because there is a clear cut in the scene, but still.

There's no amnesia. Well, I *do* have trouble remembering my childhood, but I don't have missing time or anything like that. And like....I still have my own sense of self? Like I still answer to my name and I *know* logically that I'm not the character, but it really feels like I am at the same time.

Please tell me I'm not alone in whatever the hell this is.

Hi!

I know you said you’re not looking for a diagnosis, which is great, because I absolutely cannot do that, am not qualified, am just one person with too much tumblr experience, etc etc.

I would say:

1. I am literally one of the least qualified people to ask about this. In terms of DID symptoms, my system doesn’t experience that at all (and I’m curious how you found me to ask this about?)

2. Honestly, if you’re worried about it being DID or something similar, I know @clever-and-unique-name has reblogged a list of free trauma-coping-and-DID-information book PDFs. I’d recommend reading some of those and seeing if it fits, if it feels like it’s triggering fear/denial/etc, or if it feels way off base, etc.

3. Reading what you sent me, obviously I’m reading it through the lens of my experiences and comparing it to that, and so I’m biased. It sounds like you’re having a confusing, conflicting, probably somewhat dissociative time right now with whatever this is, and I’m sorry about that.

4. I hope it gets easier. I hope you find ways to cope. I think the biggest things I wish people had told me when I was going through finding other alters are that 1. It takes a lot of time to figure out and it’ll be confusing for a while, 2. If they are different parts, it’s pretty likely that they’ll keep coming back and being in your life, because they live with you, and therefore, it’ll help a lot more over time to try to communicate and not want to expel them from your head. Also 3. That DID/OSDD do involve a lot of denial and, for us, what felt like a mental breakdown, because it was a lot of new and scary information. 4. But it also did, eventually, get a lot better with talking about it in therapy and really working on inner communication, and all that stuff.

5. Statistically, it’s pretty likely that someone is going through something similar. We found a lot of similar-sounding opinions on various tumblrs, although I’d say that there’s a lot of discourse and in-community fighting, and that overall on tumblr, a lot of the systems were trying to find differences between themselves as alters, and that did definitely stress us out a lot and wasn’t a healthy approach. Soooo, take “go on tumblr dot com to find mental health information” with a grain of salt, lol. But also, I’ve met some of my closest friends on here who also have DID, so like…. Just be careful out there.

6. I know some people online do have characters that they made that are also dissociated parts. It is a thing that happens somewhat regularly, it seems like, although again, we haven’t ever had it happen to us. So there is that. And sometimes people do split fictives from their favorite media, as a way of coping, etc.

I do hope things get better for you. I kinda went on a soapbox with this one. (You can send more messages if you want, but other than relating to my personal experiences and possibly giving advice, I can’t really do much for ya.) Good luck, it’s rough out there.

P.S. Sorry this is answered so late! I forgot about it, and then didn’t forget about it, and then it got buried under other drafts, and now we’re here. Phew.

[pluviophile-imagines]

🎉 NEW GAME: Introduce your mutuals to everyone and what do you think of them? 🎉

oooo interesting....... ok. as we all know i cannot shut the fuck up this is under the cut bc despite me having less than 10 mutuals total i also apparently decided to soapbox at the end so im uhhhhh very sorry. not sorry enough to edit anything tho LMFAO

first off i wanna say that i actually dont have that many mutuals LMFAO i only just recently (in the last uhhh three or four months, over the course of this blog which has been around for going on 2 yrs) started rlly putting effort into reaching out and making mutuals. im also only including "true" mutuals here, people who I mostly interact with on tumblr and not through discord, bc shout-out to @venexus @tay-is-writing @scotchtapehanta and @myherowritings yall r some of my bestest friends but we're not close bc we're tumblr mutuals! we're tumblr mutuals bc we became close through discord beforehand, and thats a big difference imo. also i wanna note that this is in chronological order! and i wanna say most of these blogs r 18+ because that's the content i tend to consume, so please please please respect their policies wrt interaction.

imma start this off with @cellotonins bc cookie is the first true mutual i made on this blog and what a first pick! theyre an absolute sweetheart, i adore seeing them on my dash, and im so excited to see where they'll be taking their new blog. rest assured i will be lurking in their inbox the whole time🧍

@andypantsx3 andie andie andie my beloved....... funnily enough i found her through one of HER mutuals when i was on a Jason Todd kick. and then i absolutely devoured her masterlist, and the rest is history. andie is the only person i will read oblivious reader from tbh, i adore her writing so much i cant even be annoyed JHABFJHAFBV and ma'am you have perfected the art of just the right level of slow burn & length of fic i applaud you

@ofmermaidstories merm! what is there to say about merm other than if u havent read her bakugo fic surrender (when youre ready) then what r u doing reading this silly lil love bomb and not that??? merm is going places lemme tell u. shes gonna publish a book and be a huge successful author and i will get to tell my cats as an old lady that i knew her when she was writing anime fanfiction.........

@wuhllow willow my darling my bakugo sister wife. i made that up just now idk if itll stick. absolute queen of bakugo characterization its like she n i share the same braincell wrt him. every time she makes a bkg post i commandeer it and add my 2 cents i just gotta its a compulsion..... everything she writes makes me wanna write more

@ihatebnha caitie's so fucking cool and if i get my way i will bully myself into her good graces. if u want good convo along with good writing, shes the blog for u. caitie if u see this brace urself im going to be friendship-courting you soon and that IS a threat be ready for me to hop in ur dms at any time

@saintdabi vic holy fuck i dont know how i managed to get them to follow me...... im still a lil intimidated by them tbfh i always feel a lil like im annoying them IUSHBDF but the takes??? the hot takes??? about like EVERYTHING from characterization/meta to just. talking about real-life bullshit on their blog...... im always sitting looking at the convos on their blog like "no lori u cant send in five asks thats too much" lmfao (esp bc im usually reading them the morning after theyve finished......)

@suguwu ALSO someone whose support is a mystery to me HBSDFUVH bee.... u know im a bnha blog right...... ik im working on that gojo fic but why r u here (im not complaining) bee is an absolute legend and shes going to fucking slaughter me with gothic romance geto when that comes out,,,,,,,, like deadass itll kill me. also someone who's a lil intimidating but in a "my older sister's cool friend" kinda way O.O

@izuukii scouts a lil bit of an outlier so disclaimer we did technically meet on discord through their 404 server! n e way ive only followed them for a week or so but im loving how eclectic their content is LMFAO scout definitely has a lil for everyone which is so fun. also i cant wait for nov to end so we can sprint together again bc i swear my writing production has more than halved with sprint bot out of commission......

and finallly adding @sipsteainanxiety on the end here breaking the chronological order bc i have known shay for almost two years!!! omg we actually JUST met up irl 🥺 it was so fun; she should technically be wayyy up at the top with folks i met through discord but we interact on tumblr so much i figured it was silly not to talk abt her. my OTHER bakugo twin flame, we ALSO share bakugo braincells and she's conditioned me into writing a couple hundred words on a certain fic every time i see ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ for which i am begrudgingly thankful

i wanna note now that i included literally ALL of my mutuals bc again i dont rlly have that many! that includes some who i've only just started interacting with & i might not know well, so if ur on this list and going "wait we havent talked that much why did she tag me....." thats why LMFAO im terribly sorry if it puts u off.

and here comes the soapbox. im gonna be honest, i think the culture of mutuals on this site is..... well, not necessarily toxic or unhealthy, because making friends bc of a shared interest is so fucking cool! especially if you're both working hard on it—writing is so much more fun when you have someone to support you and cheer you on, and bounce ideas off of. thats one of the reasons i decided to be more active and reach out more on here! i need enablers yall. badly. pls enable me

but i do wanna put out here..... theres a strange result from mutual culture where it feels like EVERYONE involved looks at everyone else and thinks to themselves "theyre all closer to each other than i am, they're doing it differently and im not doing it right" and that feeling sucks. it rlly does. so i guess one of the reasons im tagging people im not super close to is to reassure people looking at this that like....... im still figuring this shit out too. interpersonal relationships are fucking HARD, ya girl is autistic she KNOWS, so like. take it one step at a time and try not to compare the way you're feeling to the way other blogs project themselves—you dont really know what goes on behind the scenes, how much anyone truly talks to anyone else in DMs or otherwise. these are blogs! you're not seeing every aspect of anybody!

and i finish it off with hey! if u are someone i tagged that i dont know super well and r thinking "wow i wanna talk to her more" (or someone i tagged who i do interact with a bunch and just wanna get to know me better!) pls do! im friendly lol. and if i havent yet i will be jumping into ur dms at some point. thats a threat. its inevitable 👁️👄👁️ i just need to be in the right mood

[writeiolite]

Hello!!!! I love your writing sm esp the werewolf au! AAAAAA uhhhhh if you dont mind wld u do headcanons of being aobajohsai n nekoma’s managers?? 🥺 just kinda them being protective of the manager,,, and just,, fluffy!!!! If u dont mind ofc!!! Thank you for writing they really been keeping me sane during quarantine ❤️

AW omg thank you so muchhhh im rly happy my writing can help ppl out even a little c: i’m glad u liked SOS too!!! ^^

this is long im so sorry but i rly love it hehe

who: gn!reader, aoba johsai, nekoma

what: fluff, humor

plot: reader as aoba johsai+nekoma manager :D

wc: 1,004

{ hq sfw taglist — tell me if you want to be added or taken off: @yamxgucci }

aoba johsai

tbh they need a manager but also dont???

the whole team knows they can rely on oikawa and their coach is rly good too but having extra brain power does help 

ur there to help the coach strategize when oikawa isn’t doing it

the three of u work together n honestly ur rly efficient together

kindaichi probably has a crush on u bc of that

always wants ur attention but he won’t try hard for it u know

meanwhile u will try hard for kyotani’s attention

not bc of romantic feelings but this plan u just came up with? chef’s kiss! kyotani cmere 

u have to ask iwaizumi for help with kyotani sometimes but honestly he’s always helping u without u realizing or asking since the team rly looks up to him anyway

will offer u advice on how certain events go if oikawa or the coach havent already

will probably say oikawa was wrong abt something right in front of oikawa’s face

will probably make fun of oikawa

“y/n-chan he’s being mean again”

u will ignore them both honestly hkbkgfjg you have stuff to do

like get kunimi on track but also get yahaba to stop teasing him

yahaba thinks ur cute but rest assured he will never make a move

partially bc he knows kindaichi has a crush on u and partially bc he knows u won’t entertain his advances hhhh

u are carrying the entire industry on ur back wow how do u feel??

things with aoba johsai are actually rly easy when everyone is together talking abt game plans or going on trips 

they all listen well and respect u a lot 

u don’t know it but iwaizumi speaks highly of u when the team is all laying down to go to sleep if they’re out of town

so does oikawa and even yahaba tbh

the whole team genuinely rly appreciates having u around 

matsukawa and hanamaki especially bc they like to make u laugh n smile

when appropriate ofc — they’re v thoughtful and respectful to ur soapbox times n won’t distract u

hanamaki will bring u food if u show up to practice early or stay late

he and watari will be the ones to compliment ur efforts consistently

watari thinks u work too hard sometimes but later he realizes it’s bc u care abt the team so much and honestly that makes his heart hurt

he rly admires u for that and didn’t think anyone who wasn’t an officially teammate would care so much

expect to get gifts/treats from the team a lot. they’ll all pitch in to buy u smth, pay for ur food, or take u out as thanks

ur rly valuable on their team n they definitely make it known

nekoma

kenma is frl the brains of nekoma so im sry u are not strategizing

“y/n u rly don’t have to help out with game strategies yknow”

“ik kenma but i feel useless otherwise”

bro bad move — they will never make u feel useless again like

u have to stop kuroo from being too rambunctious sometimes

lev is literally doing smth he shouldn’t be if u look away for -4 seconds

yaku is there to help u reel them in but honestly he’s glad ur there so he can slack off a little

esp bc ur more patient with lev so i promise u it’s like

“y/n it’s ur turn to get lev now”

“…. i am? always?? getting lev???”

*shared custody noises*

team trips rly be like “ 4, 5, 6… where is kai”

“y/n u literally skipped counting me”

“oh hhahahahahahhh my b”

“it’s fine” ugh hes just so nice n knows the rest of the team is already a hassle

kai and yaku are truly the first ones to help u out w/o making a big deal out of it

kuroo-,,..,.. well

he’ll help u out but he’s gonna put the spotlight on u and on whatever the issue is

“oi u guys are gonna make y/n fill all these water bottles alone? what kind of team is this?!!!?!???!!!”

will proudly grin at u after and pat ur back like “u can count on me dw”

shibayama is ur baby u have to accept this

he doesnt get to do much in games so he can get discouraged. which is why it’s great that ur around to give him smth to do or cheer him up

sometimes if u don’t notice then tamahiko or kenma will point it out to u

inuoka will be ur moral support while ur the whole team’s moral support

no matter what kuroo says, inuoka is ur biggest shooter

they will probably jokingly compete for 1st place in ur heart n will occasionally compete on who can help u out the most

yaku will call them idiots bc honestly are they helping or making it worse we donut know

“8, 9… ok that’s everyone!”

“y/n you didn’t count fukunaga.”

“oh thanks kenma. my b sorry fukunaga”

unbothered king. is used to it honestly. u already have a lot to deal with bro

“y/n did you count me?”

“yamamoto i literally counted you twice.”

“third time’s the charm, right?”

inuoka, biggest y/n defender, jumps on the scene to stop any sort of affection between u and yamamoto

a big “HAHAHA yamamoto ur SO funny when u pretend u have a chance with y/n” is enough to stop him dfhkgkfsjgh im so sorry 

highkey he practiced that line too (ty tanaka) oghkfkg inuoka pls let him have one (1) chance

tbh u may not have everything organized and together but at least it’s an organized mess

family is family n things wouldn’t be the same without you

aka yaku would go insane n shibayama would b sad so pls stay their manager forever

[male-readers-like-kpop-idols-too]

Hewwo may i pls request bts with a femboy (and idol) boyfriend? If you dont know what a femboy is, its a man who looks feminine and usually wears feminine clothing/crossdresses. I get a lot of hate for liking the fashion i wear so seeing you write this would make my week! Thank you so much! No pressure though, its okay if this makes you uncomfortable :^)

I'm sorry others don't like what you dress like; if girls can wear guys’ clothes, why cany guys wear girl clothes? It really annoys the hell out of me that for male people, wearing feminine clothes makes them targets for hate or fetishizing. How about we all just not give a shit about what people are wearing and give a shit about peoples personalities? I'll find out if I hate someone by their personality. Not by what they wear. 

I'll get off my soapbox now.

But anyways, I plan to do quite a bit of writing tonight. I still need to do some school work though. But I'm watching Saw, one of my favorite movie series. I hope you like it anyways anon : )

Seokjin

He would be a little surprised when (y/n) came out of their shared bedroom in fishnet stockings. Seokjin would think he looked good and felt confident in looking like the most attractive couple. Seokjin’s group had dressed in feminine clothing before and saw that his boyfriend just liked them more or just as equal to men's clothing. Unfortainitly, the rest of the world did not. (Y/n) was often made fun of his clothing. Whenever this did happen, Seokjin would just get up and leave. Not wanting to hear how the other person thought of his beloved boyfriend.

Namjoon

Namjoon arrived at the restaurant, His boyfriend had asked him to meet him there. He ordered a glass of water to sip on until (y/n) arrived. The place seemed a little cramped but that left his mind when a person started talking on the speakers, Namjoon hadn't noticed them until now. “Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone else, welcome to tonight's drag show.” Namjoon had hear of the term ‘drag show’. He personaly loved them, as it took talent and commitment to do everything. His boyfriend still had not arrived but he was catching on to what was going on. After the first few queens performed, Namjoon saw a very familiar face. It was (y/n) in a dress, high heels, and makeup. Namjoon saw how happy doing shows made him, and he was nothing but supportive. He was the loudest when supporting you in the crowd and didn't give a damn about what anybody else thought.

Yoongi

Yoongi had always thought “Who cares if we’re both happy”. That didn't change with (y/n), he didn't care if (y/n) wore makeup or wore women's clothing. He would love his boyfriend, no matter what he wore or what was in his pants. When he saw the happy look on his boyfriends face from wearing what he wanted to wear, he would be just as happy. Whenever or if ever, somebody told (y/n) to wear something for “men”. God would wish mercy on that person because nobody messes with Yoongi’s boyfriend.

Hoseok

Hoseok would be a supportive boyfriend no matter what; when he heard that people were bullying you. He would talk on V live to his fans and his boyfriends' fans. “Can't you see that we are happy together and (y/n) is happy wearing what he is wearing? I fell in love with him because of his personality, not for what he wears.” Hoseok would wear some of his boyfriends' stuff too. Like some large sleep clothes, he would comment about how soft and how he can see why (y/n) likes them. Fans would start to notice what items of clothing you would share now too.

Jimin

Jimin would be giggly seeing how well his boyfriend looked. Jimin would think (y/n) was attractive no matter what he wore. (Y/n) had always wanted to see Jimin in women's shorts or even a skirt. Jimin had no complaints and actually liked it. Jimin was feeling much more secure in himself and his body and the shorts made him feel confident. The worse would come when people made fun of you guys. (y/n) and Jimin would be laying in bed trying to make the other feel better, maybe just cuddling and supporting each other.

Im watching saw 2 and the needle part just came up. excuse me while I invert into myself 

Taehyung

Taehyung would love it so much, he got to style and see how both styles looked and felt. When (y/n) was having a bad week, they would go shopping together and look at all sections of the store. It was like a whole new world was shown to him when (y/n) would talk to him about it. He would absolutely hate it when people would criticize (y/n) for what he wore. Taehyung would wear a dress and makeup, even more than what his boyfriend was wearing, to get more attention on him and not his boyfriend.

Jungkook

Curious bunny is curious. It was like a hidden gem. Jungkook had tried his hand at doing his own makeup but wanted to do more. So when (y/n) told him, Jungkook wanted to learn to do it with him. He liked that even though you were an idol, that didn't stop you from wearing what you wanted to wear. He didn't want to wear some of the things himself, but would support you in wearing it. Jungkook still wanted to learn how to do some of the makeup techniques on himself.

[thenurseholliday]

Hi! I feel stupid to ask this but I was wondering if you could recommend Somme books for me? I’m looking for something new for the summer, but I’m groping in the dark here ahaha

Okay!!!! I'm actually very excited for this. I'm on mobile so sorry about the lack of links and such. I'm not really sure what genre you are looking for, and I read a lot of books over a variety of topics so I'll suggest a few.

SCI FI/FANTASY/DYSTOPIAN/RETELLINGS

The Lunar Chronicles - Marissa Meyer: These books bruh, I found Cinder at a thrift store nearly a decade ago and I was hooked. I love the universe she built and how she tied all the classic fairytales together. Fave character hands down is Wolf, but Cress and Thorn are also top contenders.

Arc of a Scythe series - Neil Shusterman: the premise of this books had me the minute I read the back cover in an airport bookstore. Like. It's everything I love in one book. Moral ambiguity, addressing our dependency on technology, political corruption even in an utopian society. Sign me TF up.

Inheritance Cycle - Christopher Paolini: the first two books in this series are dry AF, but the last two books completely make up for the neverending world building that seemed almost redundant. Seriously. The last book, Inheritance absolutely blew me away, even if I didnt agree with the protagonist's final decision.

A Court of Thorns and Roses - Sarah J. Maad: I found this book rec'd on tumblr and never fallen in love so fast with first, these books, and second Rhys and Cassian. Give me 100.

FICTION

The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova: Its like the Da Vinci code but instead of Jesus its Dracula and it might just be one of the most brilliant books I've ever read. I still go back to this book on a regular basis because it's just that good.

Mr. Emersons Wife - Amy Belding Brown: this book isnt for everyone, it blends fiction with a lot of true life information about Ralph Waldo Emerson but this book is absolutely heart breaking. It will for sure stick with you.

Anything - Dan Brown: I'm going to be that person, but I love Dan Brown books. Like I love them. My favorite by far is Inferno, but I really liked the Lost Symbol as well. Zero shame over here.

CLASSICS

The Portrait of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde: First off, mai boi right here. I LOVE Oscar, I love everything about him, but especially this book. Some of the most profound quotes on the human condition come from this book and is still applicable today. This book is timeless and an all time fave.

Persuasion - Jane Austen: I will forever stand on my soapbox that Persuasion is the most slept on Jane Austen work. I love Captain Wentworth, I love Anne Elliot. I love the crazy cast of characters. I find Anne next level relatable and I want to both protect and give her the world.

Complete Works - Edgar Allan Poe: I have two Poe tattoo's and a likely neverending obsession. Alone is my favorite poem ever written, but check out his short stories. They are beautifully haunting, this mad cat delivers.

NONFICTION

Peter Lawford: The Man Who Kept the Secrets - James Spada: I have an obsession with both the Ratpack and the Kennedys and viola, this book is about a man who is both. It also is about a man who's got serious issues, but this was an insanely good read.

Columbine - Dave Cullen: I think the premise of this book is self explanatory. Beautifully and respectfully done. Heartbreaking.

Soiled Doves - Anne Seagraves: this is a book about prostitution in the Old West. Its actually really interesting. Not too long, but I've read it more than a dozen times.

HISTORICAL ROMANCE

The Relecutant Suitor - Kathleen Woodwiss: I asked my mom to get me this book when I was twelve and its one of my favorites to this day. I am a total bitch for historical romance and this one is no exception. There is war and intrigue and dastardly plots and love. Its everything and more.

A Rogue by Any Other Name - Sarah Maclean: all of her books are amazing, but this one is just.... Michael is basically the epitome of every fantasy I've ever had and I've never related so hard to a Heroine as I do Penelope. Plus this writer has a way with words I could only dream of.

Three Weeks with Lady X - Eloisa James: A big fan of this writing style as well. Lady X conquers what is considered the outskirts of what was acceptable in regency England, and how money quite literally made the man.

CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

Austensibly Ordinary - Alyssa Goodnight: Modern day austensian tropes brought into modern times. Its exactly how it sounds. Light on 'the sex' but still worth a read.

The Wall of Winnipeg and Me - Mariana Zapata: I dont know how I found this author but this book is incredible. Its got all the things that I love. A celebrity curve that is still insanely realistic and real. Football and shitty families, and marriages of convenience and everything else.

Dirty Rowdy Thing - Christina Lauren: I get weird about first person POV, but Christina Lauren does it very well. This also goes into the realm of kinks which I find rare in a lot of modern romances. The bondage is hot, the main characters are hotter.

Sorry this ended up so long!

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

okay, y’all, i’ve gotta back on my tl;dr bullshit soapbox about something:

so, the other day, i was just mindlessly scrolling through my corporate & capitalist hellscape facebook™️ (i.e. LinkedIn) and came across this totally trite mostly bullshit meme that was shared by some corporate executive search man (whose name i decided to crop out bc eh):

so i obviously agree with the last three points on this list, bc god yes my life would’ve been a bit better if I didn’t get all my dialogue about mental health only from teen mags and horrible portrayals in teen tv shows (and also this hellsite). and hell yeah everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs to learn that failure is okay many situations (like failing a class in uni or school) bc everyone fails at something sometimes. and dealing with failure is HARD. and time management is something that I’m pretty sure everyone lies to fuckin hell about on their resume, bc lots of people really suck at it, myself included. so yeah. that needs to be taught. and i also agree with the “how to manage your health” point. bc thats becoming ever more prevalent and important with career burn out etc.

but entrepreneurship? people management? conflict resolution? creativity? how to manage money? public speaking? like y’all. three of those ARE taught/learned in school, who the fuck wrote this meme? 

for anyone who actually paid attention in maths class, (which is probably very few people outside of the top performing classes), there WAS A WHOLE FUCKING UNIT that focuses on financial maths (in australia anyway). I ignored this unit as well as maths in general at school, bc I generally hated maths and was convinced that I was somehow never going to get a job. but i remember the gist of the overall topic and its subtopics. one subtopic teaches you how to calculate your wages in various contexts (overtime, double-time and a half, holiday payments, im pretty sure maternity leave pay was jammed in somewhere? idk if other countries would have double time & a 1/2 like australia though). another subtopic teaches you how to calculate interest on bank loans and credit rates on credit cards. a third subtopic teaches you how to calculate savings (obvs in terms of discounts in shops)....im sure there was a bit about budgeting in there somewhere? im pretty sure there were some questions were about tax payments somewhere as a subtopic enrichment exercise? but you get my gist. are these not money management skills? in some sense? like if i could find one of my old maths textbooks or old maths books i’d give an example of a question, to make my point stronger. but the problem, like i said before, is that a load of people (myself included) just zone out in maths in high school and stop trying with it. they forget what they’ve learnt, and just remember how much they hated algebra and how they’ll never use it again. maths was one hell of a fucking strong bitch, guys. but maybe i’m wrong.

creativity? excuse me? have people forgotten about art classes? drama classes? english classes? music classes? need i go on? okay don’t get me wrong, most of these classes did focus a lot on memorising quotes or facts about people (artists/writers/poets/composers/dramatists etc) or specific  periods/movements in art or theatre or literature for example.... but the amazing sculptures/paintings etc people created in art for their final projects in year 12, or even in year 10 were works of their imagination. the scripts people write in drama or maybe english (if you had a fun teacher who did a screenwriting unit, for example) are creative asf. especially in year 12 when they do their major projects, where they may produce a monologue or a short movie, and then there’s a group piece. drama students might even make their own costumes for these performances. LIKE AIN’T THAT A LOT OF CREATIVITY RIGHT THERE Y’ALL????? and english. lowly old english. THEY HAVE A WHOLE FUCKING TOPIC ON CREATIVE WRITING FOR FUCKS SAKE. the original music people might create for their final projects too in year 12? does that not count as creativity? like yes, i know a lot of these things do still have to meet bs assessment criteria (especially in catholic schools, where the main things are you don’t offend the catholic education office and jesus/god lmao) to be considered worthy of a mark for your year 12 exams. but FUCK. HOW THE FUCK AREN’T ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS COUNTED TOWARDS BEING CREATIVE???????? like fuck your corporate creative ideation or w/e bullshit, Callum. drama and english even lend themselves to improvisation in some instances, like public speaking, which is examined further, below.

next, we move on to public speaking. this shit is basically taught from the first goddamn day of “show & tell” in kindy/kindergarten, and this fucker has the gall to say that it’s not fucking taught in schools? someone call in miley cyrus/hannah montana to throw the fuck down in this motherfucking hoedown BC THIS STUPID-ASS MEME-FUCKER HAS NERVE. i hated public speaking. absolutely hated it. even though it was ironically one of the places i ended up excelling in in english classes. even when i fucked up in my english speeches with like “oh, fuck.... said nelson mandela,  i’ve seem to’ve lost my palm card. wait, shit! there it is... excuse me while i pull it out of my ass. whoops, sorry miss” *bats eyes and finger guns at my year 9 english teacher who has her head in her hands and is done with my shit, while the class laughs at my gaffe* i’d still end up with like 73% or like 26/30. it was baffling. but for people who weren’t the class clown/smart alec like i was from years 7-10 (and like i actually wasn’t once i moved schools).... public speaking is like the leading cause of anxiety, right? like by the time i got to doing speeches/presentations at uni i was having panic attacks... the thought of presenting to my classes made me fucking sick with fear and anxiety. nearly every subject i did at uni (even when i tried to avoid subs with public speaking assessments) and throughout school had some type of presentation/speech whatever you want to call it project/activity in it. even fucking SPORT/PDHPE at school and even philosophy at uni. and these fuckers are saying its not taught in schools. FUCK  OFF. like yeah, i get that they actually mean it in the professional sense.... where people can give the sappy bs motivational speeches or an insightful ted-talk worthy 20-minute presentation... or a great sales pitch. but like??? save that for mike “my dad phoned in to EY and i have a job waiting for me after uni” mcfuck in a business major or law degree? or for clubs like toastmasters? fuck. ok enough of the skills we learn in school. let’s move onto the businesslike-sounding ones of “people management”, “conflict management” and fucking “entrepreneurship”. like. what the fuck? okay in some sense people management and conflict management could potentially be used in managing friendships and relationships in your personal life. but like. i can feel the business underpinnings and i dont like it lmao. like why do you want fully functioning adults straight out of school, franklin? and there’s extra credit conflict management subjects at uni??? or at least my home uni had it... and i never did them bc they were intensive courses during summer break lol. but the one that pissed me off the most was entrepreneurship. LIKE ARE KIDS NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO BE KIDS NOW????? well  apparently: “NO! YOU MUST ALWAYS THINK OF MONEY MAKING WAYS TO BE RICH! YOU MUST BE ENTREPRENEURIAL!!!!!! YOU MUST GENERATE BUSINESS IDEAS FROM THE TIME YOU CAN FUCKIN’ WALK!!!!! AND SPEAK!!! CHILDHOOD AND BEING A TEENAGER DON’T EXIST WORKER BEE!!!! CAPITALISM FOR ALL!!!! WORKER BEES!!! CAPITALISM IS YOUR FRIEND!!! OWN A BUSINESS BY THE TIME YOU’RE 8 YEARS OLD!” like it’s insidious asf. and it doesn’t acknowledge that most entrepreneurs are already privileged people anyway, who usually have some type of money to start off their venture (or that’s what it feels like anyway). and yeah throw all the “THIS BOY IS AN ENTREPRENEUR AT 18!!! 18!!!???? BY STARTING HIS OWN BUSINESS AT 12!!!! WHAT A CHAMP! 😁🙃” clickbait news stories at me, but i don’t fucking care. the concept and perceived over-importance and almost preaching mindset of entrepreneurship is slowly becoming insidious and toxic asf. call me paranoid. but that’s what it feels like.

but with those last three topics, i want to make a point that school curriculum’s (in australia at least, and probably worldwide) are so jam-packed already with sport (which is pointless and shitty), geography (ok how to read maps is important, but i never bothered to learned to do it properly), history, science, english etc etc etc..... that like.... where the actual fuck are the gonna jam the above bs (people management”, “conflict management” and entrepreneurship) into the curriculum???? and also teachers are already over-worked enough as it is, they don’t need another load of shitty subjects pushed onto them. and they sure asf don’t earn enough (especially in the states) to have this bs pushed into their subject schedules either. keep them at uni, where they should be. or just in the workplace/in the general public where they belong. and if people suggest that you could probably push these subjects into the year 11/12 business studies programs or elective commerce courses in years 9/10, save your goddamn breath. like i remember looking at business studies hsc papers in years 11/12 to see what they did.... and it was pretty chock-a-block anyway. and my experience of my year 9 commerce was horrible, to say the least. let kids be kids, for fucks sake. they shouldn’t have to be fully functioning adults in the workplace, by the end of high school, for fucks sake. AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP IS NOT AN ESSENTIAL SKILL????!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT, WILHELM. anyway. that’s my rant over about how i hate how corporate people are trying to be #relatablewiththeyouth🙃 with their shitty versions of “10 things i wish we learned in school” memes.... and failing.... without realising that this is why millennials are suspicious and cynical about meme usage by corporate people/corporations.

[burialuntrue2007]

Wait I don’t get ur post about serving 15 years for murder? Are you saying that’s too short or?

oh yeah sorry uh!!! well yes, ive been getting into canadian true crime specifically and reading about this clause called the “faint hope clause” that was repealed in canada fairly recently. basically the principle is that no matter what crime you’ve committed, after 15 years you can apply for parole. it was instated to give everyone hope for rehabilitation and based partially on the precedent which those countries i posted about have set. i do oppose this and that’s more or less what i was posting about. this is kind of .. one of my special interests or whatever so !!!!!!! imma infodump but i’ll put it under a cut in case what i’ve already said is a good enough answer for you hahaha

i guess i sound pretty cruel being opposed to a measure which is intended to rehabilitate criminals. i’m not in support for harsher sentences across the board, like in cases of drug offences etc, i realize those are difficult issues where rehabilitation should probably be the main goal of the prison system. however the cases I am mostly interested in, and the cases i believe this clause was specifically designed to address, are cases where an offender is a first-degree murderer. the murder was planned and intentional, there are no mitigating factors which could reduce the charge. the clause is designed to soften the automatic minimum sentence for murder charges. frankly i do think some people should be in prison forever, i do actually believe in the death penalty but that’s not part of canada’s legal system anymore.

i guess opposition or support of this clause shouldn’t boil down to emotional case examples because of course there are always cases where it seems like the chance of parole might be necessary for rehabilitation, and also cases where it is a terrible idea. it’s also emotionally difficult because it seems like it’s pitting the interests of the criminal (who is still a human being) against the interests of the victim and victim’s family, who will have to sit through parole hearings and relive what happened to them.

one example of why keeping this clause might be a good idea is the fact that about 1000 prisoners took advantage of the faint clause and 130 were granted parole, and out of these 130, only 14 have been returned to prison. (ref) to me those seem like decent numbers, which makes it seem like parole boards are good at differentiating between those who deserve parole and those who don’t, and that they should have the chance to review cases after 15 years. for those 116 people who have received parole under this clause and seem to be rehabilitated, surely this clause was lifechanging.

however an emotional example of why keeping this clause might be a bad idea is the example of the serial killer clifford olson. he killed 11 children around the area i live in the 80s. one extremely salient point is that olson killed these kids while out on parole. if my memory serves he had only been out of prison for four years in his entire adult life, and he used two of those four years to commit these murders. but because the faint hope clause is meant to apply to the very cases where someone is locked up and the “key is thrown away,” olson applied for parole under this clause in 1997 and again in 2006 and 2010. he’s dead now. olson was mocking and vulgar at these hearings. these are hearings that the families of the victims have to hear about, which they often attend, where they have to be confronted with the person responsible for taking their children away and the possibility that that person might get out of prison. (ref)

but i guess it comes down to whether or not you support the death penalty or permanent punishment for criminals on principle. i think i posted a while ago that i was undecided on that issue but i’ve changed my mind in support. i guess someone who knows my political habits could have predicted that …. i tend to be fairly agnostic about how much we as human beings can actually know in certain areas but i also think we have to do our best. i think if we culturally lose the confidence to punish first-degree murderers we’ve lost something important. evil does exist. our country is not so broken that it’s impossible for the justice system be right in locking up a person who intentionally plans and kills another person. every person has worth but this applies to victims as much as offenders. and i dont think it’s absurd to imagine that if a first-degree murderer was going to truly be rehabilitated they would be able to accept the fact that they deserve prison for life with no possibility of parole, or at least no possibility for 25 years which is the maximum sentence in canada. every person has the chance to repent of their crimes, but ultimately that it is between that person and God, and society still has to do the right thing and repay them for what they’ve done. this is kind of a cobbled together argument with a lot of assumptions, i can’t say i’ve worked it out too well or too systematically, but it’s where i’m at right now.

thanks for asking and im so sorry i set up my soapbox sooo fast lmao. i just am so interested in this stuff and have been learning a lot so i really want to share dfjjgjsdfjjgjdsjfjg but yeah. thank u

[fuckingaromanticadventures]

Kinda just a confession. I went to the club this weekend with people from work and got a little too drunk and made out with a guy. It was my first kiss and i dont remember it (which i dont really regret- just getting it done and over with) what im scared about is i'll always have to be drunk in order to do anything of the sort. Like... i recently came to the idea i might be lith/ace/aro. Im still figuring myself out. But i dont wanna have to get drunk for everything

Hey love!

I am so glad you felt comfortable sharing this with me, and I hope I can provide some insight for you with reference to my own experiences.

The very first sexual experience I had was with a friend of mine when we were both drunk. Much the same way as you, I don’t really regret it, although it did cause some difficulty later and brought to light some underlying issues I had to face. I can completely understand the ‘just getting it over with’ mentality- it’s a lot of what I’ve been surrounded by for years and felt myself.

And while I’m not going to stand up on a soapbox and say that every time you kiss or have sex with someone it needs to be this sacred, emotional event, I will say that, for me, personal safety and consent are two huge facets that I focus on. I have learned that alcohol blurs those lines for me, both during and after, and that’s something I learned through years of trial and error.

And you know what? I don’t have as much sex because of it. There is something to be said for the ease of being drunk and wanting to feel good, and that too I’m not here to shame or look down on. But I made some choices while drunk that I wouldn’t necessarily make sober, and some of them involved kissing and sex.

Having said that, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I really wanted, and if I really wanted sex at all. And I can’t tell you what the best thing is for you- it is very possible that wanting kissing or sex is not in fact something that you will feel very often, if ever, and this is completely fine.

The society that we live in places a lot of emphasis on romance and sex as these huge milestones, and they can fun and enjoyable and pleasurable, but they do not define anyone. All I can say for definite is this- if you want to kiss and/or have sex with people, you will not be drunk for everything. You will find people who you feel comfortable being sober and sexual with, even if it takes time.

And if kissing and sex is not something you are interested in, then that’s something you have to figure out for yourself. It is 100% okay for that to change and evolve over time and circumstance, and for you to just not know. Experimentation is good as long as both or more parties are aware that that is what it is, and I have figured out a lot about myself and my sexuality through trying different things.

So I’m sorry that I don’t have a more concrete answer, or can’t provide something amazing and wise, but know that if you don’t want to be, you will not be drunk every time you kiss someone. It may take some bravery, but I know you can do it.

I hope this helped, and as always I am here for follow up concerns or questions, even if I do take a while to get back to you.

Good luck!

Love,

F.A.A

[disregarding-reality]

AUTHOR’S NOTES:

well that was a shit show

this is very much not the arc i wanted to give you guys, im really sorry for what came out. I had plans, Big Plans. None of which came to fruition. And that’s a shame. The only reason i can provide is that as soon as i started this arc i was assaulted by a wave of job offers the likes of which i had never seen yesteryear and so i had no idea how to respond to it. Past experience had shown me that to truncate an arc midway was worse than simply pushing through and finishing it, i am reconsidering that position, maybe the happy medium is not to truncate nor force it but rather to “pause” it. Reach the nearest climatic moment in the story and put a “to be continued”, i’ll keep that in mind next time that happens.

personal life

What have i been doing whenever i wasnt pushing my self to tell a story i had no real interest in telling you ask? besides working at a book store and a movie theater for the second time this year i was working my ass off in multiple different projects. You can tell i had learned nothing from hussie who profetically claimed that if he ever stopped working on homestuck to focus on other projects he would loose all momentum and the story would suffer for it. That is what happened here. i had about five different porjects keeping me busy, to boot:

1) the Bernardo Stamateas song which was completed and you can hear here

2) A videogame (coming in about 8 months from now)

3) A web serial (only the rough outlines for the story, actual writing will start somewhere next year and it’s going to be on spanish, sorry)

4) a super duper ultra secret project of which i cant speak of but as soon as is completed i will let you know all about it

5) the next arc of this comic (more on this later)

What happened with this story?

this was originally going to be a novel i wanted to write as a semi sequel to a story i wrote back in 2014, inspired as i was back then by pact, from wildbow, i wanted to give my own take on magic. As most things i’ve written the novel didnt go beyond the first chapter before i lost interest.

The character of the witch was an old imaginary friend my sister had invented. Fun fact: me and my sister had two imaginary worlds which we would engage in crossovers with and take ideas from all the time, and so while the witch was a friend in her world i had made her a villain in mine, because that was the kind of relationship we had as sibilings back then.

As time went on i kept working and reworking with the character and eventually i decided i wanted to incorporate her into the universe of disregarding reality. In my head the incorporation went really welll, i conected her with these and those moments with these and those other characters and i thought i had material for a really cool story there. The problem is that the story as originally envisioned was going to be a really slow burn cofeeshop AU character examination wherein we would see her grow and change through a very slow period of time.

But then when i was like ten pages in the story life started to happen really fast and suddenly i had like a million other obligations and a trip to thailand this december came up and i just lost courage to really commit to this story. Plust i didnt have a particularly interesting ending to this story that i cared to reach, and that is always important when it comes to motivating me to complete a story so... i lost interest. And as i kept forcing myself to draw page after page of a story i was no longer interested in i started to hate the story, plust the artstyle and the desing of the main character never quite convinced me and on top of all that i was coming right after a previous story arc which had been exhausting narratively speaking. This mess is the result.

what does all this wall of text and bitching amount to? be more careful when choosing what story im going to tell and be sure it will manage to hold my interest for a long period of time no matter what obligations or pauses come my way.

there is a lot more i would like to say about these characters and their story but this is getting on long enough and i have other things i want to adress.

The next arc

it’s...um. it’s going to be something else. It’s going to be different. I am 80% convinced 80% of you wont like it/wont get it. But i dont mind. After pushing myself to tell a story i was not interested in telling i had to allow my self a little self indulgence and that is why as i was making hexen snatch i was concurrently drawing the next arc as well. Now why i did that? why did i had to draw it simultanously? well, get ready: the next arc will be posted all at once. Eleven pages all in all.

I have my reasons for this and they will be explained once the arc is uploaded, im still working on it, havent quite finished it, but im getting there. The next arc should be published hopefully at some point in december. Im aming for christmas or new year. That is going to be my special little gift from me to you and me.

2019

after that... the future gets very tumultuous. i keep saying im going to launch a patreon and i keep postponing it because other shit keeps coming up. If im going to demand money on a monthly basis i want to make 100% sure i make no mistakes and i dont accidentally scam anyone or make any promises i wont be able to keep. But also i want to offer rewards that are bit more lofty that just copy pasting your name at the end of whatever im working on with a superfluous “thank you so much for your help from the bottom of my yadda yadda blah blah blah”

im working on that.

Im also reexamining the idea of wether i should continue this whole direction of “single narrative interconected universe bullshit” or if i should just get back to basics and make small self contained funny stories like it was at the beggining.

you can give me your two cents on this topic, let me know what would you prefer, this comic is for you guys to read and enjoy after all.

i think i made you read for long enough, like a recently deceased man said mutliple times in his soapbox:

‘nuff said.

[aobanii]

a while back an anon requested a tutorial on faces, facial features, and hair, and here’s what i came up with!

so human faces have the proportions above, the distance between and lengths of various features correspond with other parts of the face. This is not set in stone, though. every person has different facial features, so you shouldnt be too concerned with getting every single character u draw in these exact proportions. your particular art style might exaggerate certain features, like how everyone in anime has gigantic eyes, so really this stuff is just a guideline and you should experiment, but before you do that it’s good to know this stuff as it will help you when you go to intentionally exaggerate.

straight on, at an angle, and profile views. the angled view isnt truly a 3/4ths view, you wouldnt be able to see more of the further side of her face, but i draw this angle a lot so i just kinda...defaulted to it whoops. 

dddddont draw a straight on view of a face unless youre doing it for a specific purpose, like a character turnaround or a weird panel in a comic or something. it looks bad....its so flat and boring. in real life we dont see people straight on. draw at some sort of angle to really make your characters seem dynamic and alive.

i dont really draw profile views a lot but like....the proportions are kinda the same but different from a straight on view, if you google “profile face proportions drawing” or soemthing you should find a diagram like in the first image that you can reference. 

various facial features, idk what to really say other than that every person has different features, so you shouldnt limit yourself to one single one, like if you have a certain nose you like to draw dont limit yourself to just that, try new shapes. theres SO MUCH in a face that you can change, like nostril shape, bridge of the nose, all parts of the lips, eye shape, angle, eyelids, folds, brows, etc etc. ive found that it helps to draw a lot of different people from like and try to capture their likenesses, it gets you drawing a lot of different things so when u go to make up a character its easier to diversify the facial features you draw.

and for haiiirrrrrr, think of it in sections or clumps, dont draw every single individual strand of hair because it will look cluttered and unnatural. every person has different hair, so really think about how a characters hair will fall, react to gravity, reflect light, etc. like my hair is curly so it doesnt lay flat unless i manipulate it to. look up j c lyendecker for really gorgeous examples of painting straight hair, he approaches it like its ribbons. i dont have afro textured hair, so you should look up some tutorials on how to draw it, i think aiseybarbie might have one? i know ive seen a few floating around tumblr. some other good artists to look up are andrew loomis and sketcholivia. 

also as a note, my style is like somewhere in between realism and cartoon, so like dont limit yourself to only trying to emulate realism. abstraction isnt a bad thing, and cartoony styles can be so dynamic and expressive. experiment all the time and dont hold yourself back trying to only draw one way. if an accident happens, roll with it, like for example if u crap out a sketch and it actually looks rly cool but nothing like how u normally draw, try out something new. exaggerate too, because you’re drawing pictures, not recreating reality. like the way i think about it is that drawing pictures can reveal more than a photo can. 

ALSO one last thing, is that drawing from life is so super important. drawing faces is muscle memory at this point for me bc ive done so many observational drawings...we had an assignment last semester where we had to do at least 5 from life observation drawings and turn them in every week, and i improved SO MUCH bc of it. really sit down and try to capture what people look like. you can do caricature too but like base it in reality, yknow? 

(steps off my soapbox) OKAY!! i hope this post helps you at least in some way....i didnt want to do a step by step thing bc i feel like ppl dont truly learn anything from that.....sorry if thats what u wanted!