#sorry to everyone that had to watch me post these one by one on Discord

[halo-chainsaw]

Shut up i'm talking patreon only 7$!!!!!

The patreon podcast is out, and I have just finished listening to it!

I decided to write down some notes for those who are interested but do not have the patreon. It's a long one, but I picked out what I thought would be important + silly moments here n there

Podcast is recorded the morning of Dream's video (I'm sorry but not to Tommyinnit)

Tommy called his mom about the situation first, discussing about how it was awful (pre reddit post)

Harry wrote the "you can call me anything but do not call me poor" LOL

Tommy didn't watch the dream stream but read a synopsis, and he said that was enough

He's spoken to Dream privately several times (starting 2023), all his friends told him that dream was taking advantage of him, but he wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt

He has told dream to change how he acts, and dream has refused. Has had conversations like this multiple times.

Told dream in a conversation he was no longer speaking to him and was no longer talking to him after he talked to his mom. Was previously ignoring him but blocked him outright.

After his dream v quackity sketch dream sent him awful and mean messages.

Jack and Tommy are pissed off about people saying to "resolve it privately". They have tried multiple times to solve things privately, but Dream will take things public.

Jack had a 2 hour long call with dream on jack's DADS BIRTHDAY??? and it was about why he didn't like dream, and about dream's allegations.

the "Jack mentions Dream" account bothers Jack since its a bunch of indirect things, and him responding to messages rather than him just bringing Dream up.

Dream says Jack spreads rumors about him.

Jack does not think dream is a p*dophile, but he finds the situation(s) he was in wildly inappropriate.

Dream showed everyone his evidence against the grooming allegations in the DreamSMP discord. Jack said he told Dream it weirded him out, because either way, he was still messaging a fan, and it pissed Dream off.

Jack flat out calls Dream "stupid".

He's very pissed about the "unfaithful" rumor, and he's very vocal about it for a minute.

Jack reiterates the editor story with the 50 quid

They point out how the Dream ignores the George and Caiti situation, along with clipping Tubbo out of context.

"I can't believe he thought he could win by just lying. Especially when you've got a reputation of lying." -Jack (paraphrased/two different sentences put together)

Tommy says the video were for him, not everyone else. Makes a jab about Dream unable to use media literacy.

Tommy says Dream knows what he's talking about when he refers to misogyny. That there's so much more behind the scenes, that it's miserable.

Tommy says he doesn't want to do any of this anymore, that it's pointless. He says Youtube doesn't make him happy, that he doesn't fit in, and he wants to be done. He will still be posting to Youtube because he loves making videos, but he doesn't want to be part of the Youtube sphere/culture. He wants to be a proper comedian.

"I might as well go down sayin' what I fuckin' mean." -Tommy

brings up the "putting others down", Tommy reiterates how he's been very kind/warm to everyone, but if someone famous is being an asshole he's gonna make a joke about it. "That's what I've done with Logan, done to you, and what I'm going to continue to do."

Tommy calls him one of the most self indulgent and exhausting people he's ever met.

Brings up Dream calling him the internet police, he says that he's just sick of the bullshit. "When I see it, say it."

Tommy reiterates he can't do this much longer, that it's all pointless. Dream is just doing what he's been doing for years. He is not proud of dream and he doesn't respect him. Tells him straight to "Fuck off".

Tommy would talk to Jack, unsure if what was happening with Dream was odd/bad or not. He's a little relieved that it's in the public eye now.

Jack talks about how everyone on the server is talking against him, that no one is defending him. They've all known he's awful.

Tommy says he felt close to Dream, so he struggled with seeing the bad actions he had done. He felt skewed/manipulated.

Tommy tells a story about back when he was 14, he would annoy people in Hypixel by lobby spamming. One day he heads into a streamer's chat that he looked up to and said hello. the streamer, who was about 20 at the time, tore into him, calling him the R slur and many other horrible things. He said he felt heartbroken and shaken up. "Shit like this just happens along the way, and it's miserable, but like- for me, I just keep remindin' myself "this isn't the first time I've done this"."

Jack tried to make his disassociation as public as possible, he had told Dream to his face (during the allegations) in the DreamSMP discord that he did not want to be associated with him anymore.

Talks about how people still group DreamSMP members with Dream, and how they think every member is bad due to Dream's actions, and he's tired of it.

He doesn't like how public everything is, but he's glad people can finally see that they don't like Dream.

Tommy, from now on, is telling everyone how he feels. He's going to be blatant. (if that's what i understood from a comment he made)

Jack is still shocked that Dream chose that moment of all things to jump in. They have made comments here and there but Dream never said anything.

Jack talks about a part in his stream where he says something along the lines of "I'd understand this type of outburst if we had been bullying im for weeks and weeks. But we haven't been. Nor would that make it okay." And then someone on twitter said "Jack just admitted that they'd been bullying Dream non stop for weeks and he's proud of it!!!!" Jack says he can't believe people's ability to misinterpret.

Tommy saw Tubbo dissecting Dream's stream for 7 hours and knew that was the point it was becoming ridiculous.

Jack blatantly calls out how Dream uses manipulation tactics in how he speaks to the public. Tommy calls it painful for him to watch because it's what Dream had done to him and others in private.

Jack goes back to Dream's stream, talking about their phone call together, about how it was disingenuous and weird to bring up publicly. He says there are things he can't talk about publicly that formed his opinion.

"I just think he's like an impossibly self-indulgent, selfish man, who thinks everyone's on his own time." -Tommy

Jack thought Dream was purposefully being negligent in the way he would speak, and while he still is, he is seeing that a lot of it also comes from Dream not being able to pick up on social cues and norms. Though, he also reiterates that it doesn't excuse his awful behavior.

"I don't get how he can't listen to anyone else." -Tommy

Both of them have talked to Dream multiple times about how he acts and he never listens. Not even just them, they say "We all have really tried", which implies more members of the SMP or other personal friends.

"He doesn't seem to feel very much empathy for the pain he's caused, and if I was in his shoes- I don't know where his guilt is." -Tommy

They talk about his inability to apologize and how they can't understand it. Tommy gets a little heated. Dream has given them empty apologies and goes to do the same things again. They talk about how he doubles down over and over until no one sides with him, that's when he apologizes.

Jack calls Dream dismissive, and how its obvious that he doesn't care.

Tommy implores the audience to not imagine these dramas as Youtubers doing it, but to imagine their friends doing these things. Youtubers are not above others, there's no difference. The only difference is responsibility.

Jack points out how it's odd that they decide to post these things. It shows that they just double down on their awful actions.

Tommy ends by saying he doesn't want to continue this, but if there are things that need to be said then they will be, but on the Patreon.

Jack says he is done as well, that he's done with all his serious points, but he will be making jokes here and there. He won't be joking about rumors, but things that actually happened.

"Anyway, back to writing!" "Guys, let's all get back to coding."

[swizzlemynizzle]

Underneath the Noise - George Clarke

———————————————

Masterlist

Chapter Ten: Off the Grid

———————————————

ATV cornered her in the kitchen with a packet of Jaffa Cakes and a suspiciously innocent grin.

“Okay,” he said, “hear me out before you say no.”

Y/N blinked over her cup of tea. “Already nervous.”

“Bach and I want you on the podcast.”

She nearly choked. “What?”

“Just as a guest! Nothing terrifying. We’ll talk about gaming, the football video, maybe the fountain thing if you let us—” He cut off at her expression. “Okay, no fountain thing.”

Y/N tried to play it cool, but her heart dropped straight to her stomach.

“It’s low pressure,” he added quickly. “Just us chatting. You’re one of us now—it makes sense.”

She forced a smile. “I’ll think about it.”

“Take your time,” ATV said, all casual as he opened the Jaffa Cakes like he hadn’t just detonated a minor panic attack in her brain. “But we’d love to have you.”

—

That night, the spiral came quietly.

She hadn’t meant to look. But one scroll led to another, and suddenly she was two Reddit threads deep and knee-deep in comment sections under the football video.

“She’s so desperate to be one of them it’s actually painful.”


“I’d watch George’s streams more if she wasn’t always there.”


“Only reason they keep her around is for views. And maybe the ‘George tension.’ Pathetic.”


“Chris needs to stop inviting every girl he meets.”

The words blurred together. It didn’t matter if some were upvoted and some weren’t. The tone was all the same.

You don’t belong.

She closed the laptop. Then turned off her phone. Then didn’t turn it back on.

—

No one saw her for three days.

Chris messaged. ATV checked in. George sent three increasingly worried voice notes, the last of which ended with, “Just… let us know you’re okay, yeah?”

She didn’t answer. Not because she didn’t care.

But because answering meant existing again, and she wasn’t sure she had it in her yet.

—-

Arthur Hill’s gig was already halfway through by the time Y/N showed up.

She slipped into the back of the venue unnoticed, hood up, hands stuffed deep into her jacket pockets. The air inside buzzed with bass and sweat and euphoria, lights flickering off the high ceiling like heat lightning. Bodies moved like a tide to Arthur’s voice—raw, steady, alive.

She hovered by the wall, letting the sound seep in through her skin.

It had been three days since she’d last replied to anyone. Since the spiral.

ATV’s podcast invite had been kind—excited, even. But somewhere between accepting it and actually prepping for it, she’d made the mistake of opening the comments under Chris’s football video. Then Reddit. Then Twitter. Then her own notifications.

And it all just hit—too much, too loud. One comment louder than the others:

“Why is she even there?”

That was the tipping point. She’d shut off her phone and gone radio silent. No streams. No Discord. No messages.

And yet here she was. Drawn in by Hilly’s name in bold print on the venue marquee. Pulled by something softer than guilt but heavier than loneliness.

When the set ended, she slipped backstage, nerves jangled from too much overthinking. The greenroom was dimly lit, half full, everyone buzzing from the show.

It was George who spotted her first.

He blinked, like he wasn’t sure she was real. Then, without a word, he crossed the room and wrapped her in a hug.

“You’re here,” he said, low and steady into her hair.

She couldn’t speak—just nodded, clinging to the warmth of his hoodie and the quiet understanding in his arms.

“Thought I was gonna have to call a search party,” he murmured, not letting go.

“Sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be. Just…” He finally pulled back, eyes searching hers. “Next time, let someone know you’re breathing, yeah?”

She managed a wobbly smile. “I’m breathing.”

He nodded, relief flickering across his face.

—

Later, they all spilled into a club down the street—Arthur’s post-show ritual.

The place was packed, the music decent, the lighting soft enough to hide in. Bach ordered tequila for everyone. ATV dragged her into a group photo. Chris yelled something about a dance battle. And for the first time in days, she didn’t feel like she was watching herself from far away.

George stayed close. Always nearby, always within reach.

They danced—not pressed together, but orbiting the same space. Her hand brushed his. His fingers grazed her lower back when someone jostled too close. Once, in a flash of bass and laughter, their eyes met, and the world seemed to hold its breath.

That was when the stranger appeared.

He was older. Sharp suit. Confident in a way that felt manufactured.

“Didn’t know angels came to clubs,” he said, voice syrupy, fingers ghosting over the small of her back.

Before she could recoil, George was there. Tense. Focused.

“Mate,” he said, voice flat. “Back off.”

The man turned, eyeing him with a smirk. “Relax. Just being friendly.”

Bach stepped in, arms folded. “Try being friendly over there.”

ATV leaned against the wall, smiling too brightly. “I’ve been politely waiting to get kicked out. Give me a reason.”

The guy held his hands up and backed off, muttering something about “fragile egos” before disappearing into the crowd.

Y/N let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding.

“Thanks,” she said, voice barely audible.

George didn’t answer—just looked at her, gaze intense.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get some air.”

—

Outside, the night was cooler than expected. The street was quieter, save for the occasional passing car. She leaned against the wall beside him, head tipped back toward the sky.

“I shouldn’t have disappeared,” she said softly.

George shook his head. “You don’t owe anyone anything. But I wish you’d let someone in.”

“I thought space would help. But it just… spiraled. The comments. The silence. It all got so loud.”

His shoulder brushed hers, grounding. “I get it. I really do.”

She turned to look at him. “Do you?”

He nodded, something unspoken in the tilt of his head. “Yeah. And if you ever feel like that again—like it’s too much—I don’t care if it’s 3AM. Call me. You don’t even have to say anything. I’ll just come sit with you in the dark.”

Her heart caught on the words. On the way his voice dipped, honest and careful. Like he was afraid she might break again.

She reached for his hand. “You already do more than you know.”

The tension between them shifted—deeper, quieter.

She stepped closer. He didn’t move.

Under the streetlight, his face was cast in soft gold. His eyes flicked to her mouth, then back up.

“George…”

His free hand came up, hesitant at first, then firmer—fingertips brushing her jaw. When he leaned in, there was no fanfare, no hesitation left.

Just warmth.

His mouth on hers—gentle, grounding, real.

She kissed him back like she’d been waiting for this to happen since the first night they met. Like something fragile had just been rewired.

When they broke apart, his forehead rested lightly against hers.

“Okay,” she whispered. “That was definitely not an almost.”

He chuckled, breathless. “Finally.”

From down the road, Chris’s voice shattered the quiet.

“Oi! We’re getting chips! You in or what?”

George groaned. “Perfect timing, as always.”

Y/N laughed, cheeks warm. “Let’s go before ATV actually punches someone for no reason.”

George laced their fingers together, thumb brushing hers.

“Only if we walk slow,” he said. “Don’t really feel like letting go yet.”

She didn’t argue.

And as they wandered back toward the chaos and the chips and the boys who had quietly become her family—Y/N felt like maybe, just maybe, she could start trusting the quiet again.

Because someone had come to sit with her in the dark.

And now, she wasn’t alone.

——

Taglist:

@madforgeorge

@wherethezoes-at

@sundarksposts

@clarkey4life

@edgyficuselastica

@whistlef0rthechoir

@kneelforloki

@yeahnahalrightfairenough

—-

Finally!!! Sorry to spoil but smut warning for the next chapter :P please skip or message me for alternate clean version of the scene xx

[darqx]

HEEEY MACARENA (ALRIGHT!)

Here's some long overdue BP and HH asks :) I tend to combine the two since there's not as many as the RADs, so this starts with BP and then moves into HH/Gen qs.

BP

MUAH ~ (I actually doodled this some time last year for fun and whimsy, based on those long mouth kiss meme pics XD)

A very quick overview of these types!

Vescordem: Maneaters/cannibals, excessively tall and strong.

Aleores: Minor dealmakers (goods and services). Jaw can unhinge and has venomous bite.

Sollicio: Major dealmakers - soul stealing ability. Often very good looking, has ichor powers.

Voxter: Ability to project 'thoughts' into someone else's mind - you ever have an intrusive thought? Same concept. All have a unique mark across the top part of their face.

Caumacies: Maneaters/cannibals, very strong. Has a third eye which sees only in heat vision - rarely opened simultaneously with normal eyes.

Hmm M or MA15 i think 🤔

You know, i actually have an idea for a game that has nothing to do with anything I'm currently doing XD One day i'll actually have time to make it, maybe. But anyway currently my actual project is i'm planning on making a comic \o/

I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE that i have thumbnailed like 70 pages of this bloody thing and i'm still only in the first quarter of the planned chapters lol OTL Once i finish thumbing the chapter I'm on I plan to go back and render the pages properly before starting to post them :D

...which should hopefully give me a buffer as i repeat the process for the next chapters |D

You know, the concept of my characs being comfort characs for someone will never get old for me. It just tickles me pink ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ This answer will have two levels to it.

It's fine to RP or ask blog with Rire - he's one of my more "known" characs thanks to BTD so as long as credit is given (and it's made clear I'm not running the blog so it's not canon) then it's cool.

I'd prefer if no ask/RP blogs are created for any of my other BP or HH characs, as they are not as known yet. This may be revisited once i actually get the BP comic out but for now it's a no, sorry! (Though, if you are RPing in like...a private Discord with other friends who know who the characs are then I'm a bit more lenient with that.)

The reason for the BP/HH level is that ages ago when I had started establishing my own characs more, I randomly happened to find a forum where someone was RPing as Izm and .D but no one else knew who the characs were and so they clearly thought the RPer was the original artist and creator. Said RPer was not dissuading anyone of that notion. That has stuck with me for forever because at the time i never anticipated that someone would...actually try and do that with an OC. Like, bro srsly?!

One pet peeve for everyone:

.D: Willfully stupid people

Izm: .D smoking. He could care less if anyone else smokes but .D is not allowed on his watch

Marcus: Having decisions made for him without his input

Zeke: "How's the weather up there?"

Wei Ren: When people think he can't understand English cos he has an accent and so they deliberately speak slower and louder

Geez Caleb why are you damn RUDE

Here's one i prepared earlier! 😌

I'm not sure why you included Marcus as a demon, he's a human lol.

HH/More Gen

There are clubs which are created by students but need approval from the adults to exist.

HH is one of the better boarding schools which generally turn out successful alumni. The "obvious problems" we see are not actually obvious lol.

He doesn't need such manipulations.

Thanks! I hope you are inspired to go forth and create stuff! :D

One of the only perks of being a prefect at HH, really :d

Absolutely not lol

↓

4. These types of qs are always amusing to me only because you guys expect me to know but i absolutely do not XDD. Do normal people actually have a fave animal?? I dont even have a fave animal!! Anyway offshoot aside sorry that i can't even randomly assign anything, but if you are interested here is what they might be AS animals lol.

They actually don't have names because they were randomly designed NPCs i drew as like, placeholders |D;

Not including Rire or Nurse Isla:

.D is asexual, Izm is bisexual, and everyone else is straight probably. Caleb and Desmond are violently straight (as in Des is like very 90s stoner bro adamantly vocal about being straight and Caleb will actually try and break your neck for insinuating anything).

I have some female characs but I dont draw them that often as they are more side characs in BP and HH. The ones ive's drawn at least once are Isla (who looks like this, also doodled above), Tish (Des's sister) and Kenzie and Kelly (Zeke's sisters).

Every once in a blue moon i get an ask saying this but whenever i go to check nothing is wrong, so...nothing is wrong they do work |D; As the age old tech saying goes have you tried turning it off and on again? :d

Aren't those kind of things supposed to be...based on yourself??

[lostintransist]

Sacrifice Doesn’t Hurt Less if They Don’t Love You

I can't decide if I want to write a whole fic for this chapter that spawned fully formed in my head but a mutual told me I could post it here.

Context. Soap and Ghost are lovers. They are both wanting to work through some issues and ask reader (female pronouns) to become their third for a time. Reader was unsure about joining a thruple, so they offer to pay her. Reader is a soldier and works with the 141.

CW: Mentions of onpage violence, can be read as suicidal ideation, self sacrifice.

Watching Soap and Ghost share a look of goodbyes with only their eyes cements for you the knowing, deeper than your bones, that no one will ever love you like they love each other. No room exists for you to shelter inside of their love. The pain is freeing somehow. Like every message pounded into your head about being unlovable was true.

The call of the void had abated for a time, since they paid you for your body. The urge to jump without pulling your shoot, to kink the hose to your oxygen lessened. It returned now. It didn’t call though, it sang. Staring into the horizon where blue became intangible you know that even if you listened to the haunting call if you go home today an ‘accident’ would befall you soon enough.

A hand on your thigh pulls you back from the discordant notes. You look from the hand to the face and see Price looking at you, concern in the crinkles around his eyes.

“You with us Everest?”

“Sorry Cap. Just mentally gearing up.”

He nodded, accepting the strange behavior and the explanation. He had used the shared channel everyone could listen in on over the headphones. Helicopters were not the place for private conversations.

Feeling Ghost’s eyes you turn. Looking at one eye and then the other you find nothing but the mask inside and out. The horizon draws your attention again as you listen to the symphony from within the void.

Price had organized groups of three before everyone piled into the helicopter. You had been assigned to Soap and Ghost. As the ghost ship came into sight you slipped into your operator role. Rearguard would be you duty. They trusted you to step backwards over the dodgy doorways and ensure no one attacked them from behind. A place of trust.

Everyone knew the mission. Locate and terminate the computer that would signal a series of bombs dotting major cities. It would be highly guarded and most likely booby trapped. Six teams split as they enter the darkness of the ship. It creaks with each bob of the waves and every step as if she is moments from careening into the depths to become a home for the deep dwelling fish.

Soap takes the lead, heading aft. None of you encounter resistance until six levels down. Movement from barely beyond your vision as you step down another set of ladders. You fire off two shots, a body falling into the light. Not one of yours. A hand on you shoulder is the warning you get before Ghost and Soap step over the body, heading deeper into the darkness.

Smaller stature is not often an advantage in your line of work. But tiny halls become your safe haven because you are not an overly large man.

Moving before your mind can process you are grappling for a knife that connected with your vest. A man had stepped from the deepest shadows and swung at you after the guys had stepped through the next porthole. He pulled back and swung downwards, aiming for your neck. Leaning back you caught only a nick from the blade along the crease where jaw meets neck. Because all wide swings must be returned by an equally wide swing you step in and jam both hands into his forearm.

The enemy fights his arm up, your upper body strength no match for his. Instead of fighting him in a losing battle you place one boot on the wall behind you, leveraging your best asset in the fight.

It impressed the men on the 141 that you could match or often beat them in dead lift squats. They did make fun of you for how low your numbers were on upper body though so it all came out in the wash.

The man brought his second arm up to support his knife wielding hand, the tip of the blade inching closer to your face. Forcing your second boot up the wall you press with all the power your foremothers blessed you with. The light bouncing around from your rifle shines off whites of the mans eyes as you shove the blade into his windpipe. He slumps as his life flees.

Gravity takes hold of you now that friction has abated and you slam to the ground with a grunt. Your knee took the bulk of the blow. Up on your feet you limp after your lovers. They must have circled back to find you since you find them only three rooms away.

“What happened Everest?” Ghost barks at you.

“Your job is to protect each other, my job is to protect you. I did my job.” You snap at him. He would want to take it from your hide if there was a later. On jobs he was your superior and sass could not be accepted.

Soap reached around him and lifted blood from your collar.

“We are here to protect you too Ev.”

The sweetest blade to your heart came from Soap’s tongue. Lies, because if they were here to protect you they would have noticed sooner that you were gone.

His finger hovers as you turn your head slightly away from his touch.

“We’ve got more ground to cover. Let’s go.” Voice harsh, you focus on limping forward.

Several more engagements occur, but the guys don’t leave your sight once. After clearing a particularly well guarded tiny red room you find what you have been looking for. Soap drops to a knee at the computer, typing away.

You and Ghost take up opposite positions staring down the hallways watching the darkness.

“Why didn’t you call for help?”

Ghost’s even tone hits like a lash across your back.

“Didn’t really have time with a blade at my throat.”

“Why are you mad at us?”

Even now the distinction between your place and theirs is hammered home in the phrasing of the question. Us denotes a you, an outsider.

“Now is not the time to unpack our relationship problems, Simon.”

“I’m getting no response from the computer and I don’t dare move it. This group really loves their bombs to trigger when people touch things.”

A head poking around the walls you to fire off a few rounds.

“I’m jammed, Soap replace me. I can work on disabling the computer.” You step into the small, red, red box trading places with Soap who steps into the hall, gun drawn on the shadows.

The instant his heel passes beyond the door frame you swing the heavy metal door shut, slamming the bar into place. Faraday cages are interesting things. They can be made by accident, or opportunity.

You couldn’t disable the computer you had fought so hard to get to the bowels of the ship, but you could stop it from sending a signal. As the bar clanged down, the bell tolling of your death, two irate faces appeared in the small window. Two men you love more than any reasonable person could understand stare at you, yell at you, beat at the door demanding entrance.

A beep from the computer tells you there is four minutes left until the signal is sent. Your lip trembles. Mouthing the words so carefully they can understand even beyond the slightly distorted glass you give your final goodbyes.

‘Love you.’

Blowing a shaky kiss to their horrified faces you slide the cover in place, sealing your tomb.

The void’s lilting tune is sweet in your ears. The pounding on the door stops. No sounds squawk from the radio in your ear, your play worked. They would be safe. They didn’t need you anyways, a matched pair didn’t need a third.

With nothing left to do but breathe in the last of your oxygen you decided to strip down to your uniform. Emptying every weapon on you of its rounds you place them gently on the floor a fair distance from the door. No need for them to get stepped on when someone can finally reach your body. Next goes the holsters and the heavy tactical gear.

It’s getting harder to breath now, your lungs heaving for a breath more. You sound like a baby you once saw with RSV. You place a hand to your ribs, finding the flesh pulling between the bones with each breath. Laying down seems the best option now. Your mind feels pulled, stretched. Taffy for brains. Stretching out you get comfortable. With your eyes fluttering you can almost imagine yourself on a cot somewhere in the tropics.

Distantly a beeping starts, the thirty second countdown. One long beep reaches through the fog of oxygen deprivation, you strain your ears. Even in the bowels of the ocean you would have heard something, shouting, if you had failed. When none occur you sigh and surrender to the darkness.

You might not have been important to them. They might have never loved you. But god dammit you were going to be remembered.

I also write COD over on AO3, same handle.

Masterlist

[directdogman]

Hi, I hope you're having a decent day! I'm sorry if this is an invasive set of questions - feel free not to answer - but do you still actively like DSaF as your own creation, or is it more of a "it was fun while it lasted but i outgrew it and it's for the best to leave it behind" kind of project? Do you ever regret making the games? If you knew they would get so popular, is there anything you would have changed about them? Is there anywhere I could read more of your writing.

It fluctuates a bit. These last couple of years, I've really just been sorta nostalgic for it. I've seen a lot of people discuss those games being a source of comfort during bad times in their lives, people talking about how much the characters mean to them and it's hard not to smile when you see that.

It's a funny thing for close friends of yours to see people WITH fanmade DSaF merch out in the wild, or to watch a random youtube video and being hit with a DSaF reference outta nowhere. It happens from time to time, even today. On a few occasions, I've even had a person reference my work to me in real life and not realize who they were talking to, believe it or not. It's really fun to play dumb and get someone to explain your work to you like you don't know what it is.

I certainly didn't think any of that would happen when I first made the series, or even during development. I think the normal assumption would be to look at DSaF as it exists now and assume its release was a peak for it, but believe it or not, the official discord only had 30 people in it shortly before 3 dropped! The archive listing of the series (reposted to a single page after the series ended) is now sitting at over 1.1 MILLION downloads.

People kinda assume the true heyday of something is when it's new, when it's fresh and novel. For instance, some people look back at when FNaF itself was new and see that time as its peak because it had a lot of internet cultural relevance as big new indie thing on the block. But, raw numbers don't lie. The series has been continually growing since its conception and that growth has similarly bled over to its fan projects. This explains why DSaF, despite not having a new series release in almost 6 years, seems to be inexplicably growing.

Just recently, I saw someone post footage of a scene from DSaF 2 on Twitter, which got over 16k likes. People praised its writing and largely celebrated the scene. The ironic thing about that particular scene is that I remembered being unsure if it was good or not, so I showed it off in one of the FNaF community hubs. The response was broadly lukewarm to negative. Now, it's held up as one of the best scenes in those games. That's kind of the point I'm trying to make, my thoughts on the series have certainly changed with everyone's else with years of hindsight.

Heh. I'm not sure if I've talked about this in a long time, but y'know, the very first scene I implemented in-game was actually the very first Phone Guy scene in DSaF 1, more or less exactly how it appears in-game today. This was before I'd even written the bulk of the game. I was pretty unfamiliar with visual novels as a whole, pretty unsure if something like this would be palatable to a fandom that was really just used to sit 'n' survive stuff that were far more gameplay than text. I mean, there wasn't any FNaF fangames really LIKE DSaF before that point. Closest was FNaFb, a jokey turn based RPG made in the same engine.

The engine I made the game in is also not exactly fit for VNs out of the box either, and I wasn't 100% sure the idea would actually work. But, the very first time I added the image of the prize corner, Phone Guy, the audio of that iconic cheesy stock track and booted up a test screen, I had a little moment where I said "Oh. I think I'm onto something interesting here." I kinda remembering instantly realizing in that single moment how much potential the idea had. Over 8 years later, I still remember that moment like it was yesterday.

I think lately, that's the sort of stuff I think of when I see people coming to me and asking about the series. Yes, it's really rough around the edges, yes, there's jokes that've aged poorly. But, it is a source of comfort for people and entertains tens of thousands of people each month. And that's gotta count for something, right?

[ririya-translates]

Hiraki the Prince of Ice

Okay so, Ishida made the most obscure reference in Duckweed Pt. 2 (Bookwalker) and I need some sort of record of it to exist outside of Discord. This also makes reference to plot points in Towada's first anniversary novel (now reduced to just a sample as it was published in the recent Tamasaka's Trail of Light 玉阪の光跡 novel), but even the sample does touch on the relevant part to this.

It's about quite a minor character who might prove relevant in the future and also some general Tamasaka history stuff, mostly from the novel. I tried to avoid any game spoilers, but it's long so I put it under a cut anyways. Names in English are changed to first-last order.

Edit to add the free version link The Tamasaka novel refers to the story about Tamasaka City's (玉坂市) founding when it used to be Tamasaka Town (玉坂町). This gets a bit into real Japanese history so apologies in advance if I oversimplify or say something inaccurate, but essentially, during the Meiji era (1868-1912), Japan transitioned from the Edo-era feudal style of government under the shogun and samurai leaders to a centralized government under the emperor. There were obviously a lot of changes as a result and one was a merge of various smaller municipalities across the country.

This is where Tamasaka’s history starts. So it’s established in the game that Tamasaka was founded after the first Himehiko was granted land to create a playhouse and little theatre town (please see this post for a much more thorough Himehiko event timeline). 

But what’s most important here is that the lord who granted him this land was named Matsubara Hiraki (開松原) and that his clan had their own castle and nearby samurai town also called Hiraki (開). Tamasaka Town and Hiraki co-existed until the Meiji period, where they were suddenly forced to merge into one city. There was a big debate over which name this new city would take. That whole story is discussed in the novel where they perform a joint play on how Tamasaka got its name. For now, just remember the name Hiraki.

Then we have this one weekend event with Sou on 8/1. It’s highly missable since it often overlaps with an affection event. Fortunately, @himehikoshrine has a transcript of it they let me use:

8/1 library event

Sou: …

Kisa: Sou…? What’s he reading…?

Sou, what are you reading? Huh? A program?

Sou: Ah, Kisa! Sorry, I didn’t notice you here!

It’s a program from the Tamasaka Troupe. I went to see their show.

Kisa: Really? So, how was it?

Sou: It was amazing! The principal’s nephew and a graduate from Onyx were the leads.

The nephew was the Hime. Everyone was treating him like a king.

Onyx’s graduate played the Hiko who was nicknamed the “Prince of Ice.”

The person who played the Prince of Ice was in the same year as Tsuki… He was really amazing.

Kisa: (He was with Tsuki…)

Sou: But the Hime actor was really amazing, too. He really didn’t resemble the principal.

I guess people born into the world of theater just have a different vibe, you know? Like Fumi.

I thought I could study them, but I just ended up watching as part of the audience.

So I figured I should at least read the interview that was typed up, but…

I could tell the two actors don’t get along from their comments…

Kisa: Huh?

Sou: They were the perfect partners onstage, too.

Actors really are amazing…

Okay so we know there was an Onyx student in the 74th class with Tsuki who is currently at the Tamasaka Troupe as a Hiko (Jack) partnered with a member of the Chuza family line. Also that he’s nicknamed the “Prince of Ice”. Not much to take away from it other than knowing there’s someone from Tsuki’s time currently in the troupe (quite possibly the only one from his year). Until Duckweed pt. 2 drops this singular panel:

From left to right it reads:

In Quartz, the “Treasure of Univeil”

Undisputed champion: Tsuki Tachibana

In Onyx, the “Ultimate Jack”

Prince of Ice: Matsumasa Hiraki

It was a time of fierce battle between the big two Jack Aces.

開松正 Matsumasa Hiraki. I feel like you don’t even need to read Japanese to see how similar it is to 開松原 Matsubara Hiraki. They share a family name and both sound like possible samurai names starting with the same ‘matsu’ kanji.

Considering names in JJ generally seem to have a fair bit of intent, I do think there’s reason to assume Matsumasa comes from the Hiraki family line. Which poses a lot of questions about his family history overall with Tamasaka politics and the troupe and about his personal history with Tsuki. Those two connections make me think he could be significant, maybe in the sequel, but honestly who knows what goes on in Ishida’s mind. It’s also fun that his successor, Kaido, plays the leader of the Hiraki clan in the Tamasaka play.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Work 42

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.

Characters: Loki

Note: I've had a headache every day this week. I swear I want one good day.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You sit on the sofa, the bird still firmly perched on your shoulder. Bragi shows you the twelve-string, strumming lightly between stories about his travel abroad. Laufeyson glowers as he sits in the high-backed chair recently cleared of its clutter. The stout blond is quite talkative, it makes you wonder why your boss even brought you here.

"I'll be playing at Walpurgisnacht, so you will see me tomorrow," Bragi stands and places the guitar in a stand among several other stringed instruments, "perhaps Fossegrim will come too... he likes to sneak into my bag."

The bird squawks and tilts up and down.

"Likes you too," Bragi remarks. "Not as fond as your companion, I'm afraid."

Laufeyson shifts with a huff, "shall we continue to ramble? I did come for a reason."

"I nearly forgot," Bragi declares, "you requested it so long ago I nearly forgot."

"Yes, well, I left in a hurry my last visit and could not drop by, my apologies," Laufeyson rises and dusts off his trousers.

"Right, up in my office."

They leave you without much regard. You set aside your empty cup as Fossegrim rests his beak against your hair. He is rather big, your shoulder is sore from his weight, and yet he is comforting. You sit straight and hold out your fingers shyly. He bends to touch them and dips his head. You pet his feathers, uncertain what to do with yourself.

You hear a thump from above and a grunt. You look up as the bird hops down to the cushion. You rub your hands together and stay as you are. You don't want to intrude, besides, the place is so crowded, there isn't much space to move. 

At last, you hear the stairs creak and the men's voices precede their reappearance. Laufeyson holds a wrapped parcel under his arm as a shank of hair hangs past his ear, dangling along his cheek before he sweeps it back. You wonder what happened.

"Sorry about the rug," Bragi chuckles as he scratches his neck.

"Yes, not to worry," Laufeyson dismisses, "as it were," he looks at his watch, "my mother will be less impressed with our delay."

"You will send my regards," Bragi smirks crookedly.

"I will let her know we saw you," he retorts, "let us be off."

He waves you over. You say goodbye to Bragi as you cross the room and the parrot wings over your head, rustling your hair as he lands on the banister post once more. He lets out a chitter and receives a hush from his owner.

"Best go before he grows more obnoxious."

You offer a tight smile as Mr. Laufeyson opens the door and you step outside. It's dark and the moon beams down brightly. You silently descend the steps and near the car. He doesn't say a word as he unlocks the door and you climb in opposite him.

He starts the car and steers onto the street without a word. You feel as if you've done something terribly wrong. You look at your lap and drag your sweat palms over your skirt.

"We need to be very clear about things, pet," he begins as the leather squeaks beneath his grip, "tomorrow, you must stay close to me. No more breaking the rules."

"Yes, Mr. Laufeyson. I'm sorry--"

"Do you remember the rules? That I asked you to be honest with me," he hisses, "yes? I know you recall, you are brighter than you look, aren't you?" He slaps the wheel, "if you need... time, or anything, you can tell me. You must tell me otherwise... otherwise how can our arrangement work? If I am ignorant of what you require, how can I provide it? You cannot be upset that I do not know."

"I... I'm not upset," you murmur.

"Yes, but if you were upset," he exhales heavily, "then I would like to know the reason for it. I--" He stops himself and shakes his head at the road, "I am only saying, if there is some issue between us, you cannot merely run away and hide."

"I didn't--"

"Yes, yes, you were reading," he cuts in, "I do hope you enjoyed your little story."

"It won't happen again, Mr. Laufeyson," you avow.

He takes a deep breath, "that's all?"

"I... I'm not upset, I said, I only..." you mull the words on your tongue, wondering if they'll even matter. "I've never been far from home."

He nods as he slows, idling at a sign, "very well."

You accept his response as he accepts yours. Tension lingers but neither of you wants to add to the boiling stew. So you look out the window and he glares out the windshield, driving on in repressed agitation.

✨

Mr. Laufeyson leaves you alone that night, bidding you to keep the door locked and nothing else. You know for certain he's unhappy with you. You've already put a damper Walpurgisnacht and it's not even begun.

You sit in the small cone of light cast by the lamp and try to read but find the task impossible. So you tuck away Jane and her troubles and lay down to sink into your own. You don't see the next day going well at all. No better than any that have come before.

Perhaps it might be better if you found a reason not to be there. You could keep the white dress on the hanger and just stay inside where you can't do anything wrong. No one would miss you very much.

It's Frigga's celebration and you aren't an Odinson, no one would know any better. Mr. Laufeyson would be free to enjoy himself and not worry about you irritating him. That's all you seem to do.

Your eyes close heavily and you tumble down into a turbulent sleep. Dread colours your dreams and wakes you several times in the grim hues of the moonlight. The fitful night drags on into a dull morning, shining over you until it sears through your eyelids.

Walpurgisnacht. April 30th. A day that feels like a page turning.

You sit up and sift slowly through the early hours as if wading through sand. You wash and ready in the bathroom, ignoring the memories of two nights ago, the echoes of your whines, and the coiling of his touch. Now, he won't even use you. This could be it. When you leave this place, you may also be departing this life. It might just be for the better.

The event doesn't begin until the afternoon. Frigga said as much before. So you pull on a pair of tan pants and a peachy shirt. You near the door but don't flip back the lock. You should wait for a cue. For permission.

You stand at the window and watch the day bloom. The dew gleams on the leaves and petals and the air is fragrant with spring. Oddly, it does feel refreshing.

There's a soft tap, one you're not certain you heard. You turn and lean on the window ledge and hug yourself. It comes again followed by your name. Mr. Laufeyson's voice is just as even-keeled as the night before. Empty of any expression. That's worse to you than anger.

You emerge, head down, and bid him a good morning. You're met by a curt 'morning' and he ushers you down the hall. You smell bacon as you descend and the crackle of grease hisses in a pan. You walk side-by-side with Laufeyson out onto the veranda.

Odin sits, stirring a cup of coffee with a silver spoon.

"Ah, good morning," he chimes, "Joyous Walpurgisnacht!"

"Yes, happy day," Laufeyson intones and sits. You take the seat at his shoulder.

Your attention is drawn by men in work clothes out in the yard. They must be setting up for the celebration. You wonder how you should ask to excuse yourself from the event. You might pretend to be unwell. You don't entirely feel great.

"Happy Walpurgisnacht!" A thunderous boom makes you jump and grab Laufeyson's arm. He merely groans as Thor approaches and drags out a chair, dropping down with a sigh, "father, brother... lady, isn't it a wonderful morning?"

"Son," Odin squints at his son's open shirt, his chest shamelessly bare to the sunlight.

"Mmm, coffee," Thor pours from the carafe then adds a handful of sugar cubs to his cup. Laufeyson helps himself to tea before offering you some with a twitch of the spout. You accept with a nod and a please.

"Coffeeeeee," an echo drawls in the air as Hela strides in, chewing a strip of bacon absconded from the kitchen.

"Ghostly as ever, sister," Thor guffaws.

"Ugh, must you?" She snarls as she slumps into a chair, "ew, do those buttons not work?"

Thor smiles as he looks down at his torso, "it's warm."

"Or maybe it's the hot air stuck in your head," she retorts.

"Children," Odin rebuffs, "please, it is a holiday. Let's try to get along."

Laufeyson says nothing as he sips from his tea. You peek at him, finding his eyes narrowly set on his father. Another twinge pinches in your chest. You hope you haven't made things worse between them.

"Oh, we are all here already," Frigga flutters in, canary fabric swishing around her, "wonderful."

"Wife," Odin outstretches an arm and she goes to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Mother," the siblings murmur in unison as you eke out her name.

"We will begin breakfast soon, I just checked with the staff, it is almost ready, but first," she pokes her elegant nail in the air, "there is one matter I need attend to. It won't take very long at all."

She smiles at Odin as he returns the sweet expression, then her eyes meet yours. Her cheeks pinken just a little. She sweeps away and disappears through the open doors. You hear her trill as she speaks to the staff.

"She is up to something," Hela slithers.

Laufeyson hums in agreement.

"Father," Thor peers over at Odin as he brushes his fingertips over his beard.

Odin shrugs, "I haven't any idea."

"Liar," Hela accuses, "you are not so sly as you think."

"I swear--"

"He definitely knows," Thor insists, "Loki, doesn't he? You see it, can't you?"

"I suppose..." Laufeyson squints and lets his voice dissolve into nothing.

"Here we go..." you hear Frigga chime before she appears again, "happy birthday to you..."

The song begins as two maids carry between them a double-tiered cake decorated with perfect white dollops of icing topped with raspberries. Your stomach gurgles and your chest racks as you sit up, caught in headlights as Thor and Odin join in on the melody but Hela and Laufeyson merely lean forward curiously. You gulp and look down at your lap.

As Frigga leads the chorus into your name, your shoulders slope and you turn your face away, tears stinging your eyes. How could she know? As nice as it all is, it's too much. You don't deserve any of this.

"Birthday..." you hear Laufeyson whisper quizzically.

You brace the armrests and push yourself to your feet as the song ends and the cakes placed before you. Your lips tremble as you look around the table. You can barely squeak out your apology before you flee, Frigga's hand glancing off yours as she tries to stop you.

You hurry away from the veranda, hurtling up the path blindly. You plunge into the brush and around the curving trails, retracing the same route Odin led you the day before. You clamour up to the gazebo and hide within, collapsing onto a bench as you fold over and shield your head.

Why would she do it? You don't matter! It's all too much. You don't want to pretend anymore. You don't want to act like you belong. You want them to let you go. You want Laufeyson to just do it already and throw you away.

You sit, bent over, weak and shaking, just breathing, paralysed. You hunch amid the songs of birds and the rippling of water. You can't move. You just want to stay and never come out.

A scuff makes you flinch. You lift your head to look over as a shadow steps into the archway. You raise yourself up straight and face Mr. Laufeyson.

"I didn't know it's your birthday," he says.

You don't say anything. Why would you tell him? Why would he care?

He lowers his chin, sliding his hands into his pockets as he steps into the stone structure, "if I'd known--"

"It doesn't matter," you say, "it's just another day."

"Mm, well..." he begins in a fragile tone, "I wouldn't agree. Birthdays are special..."

"Not mine," you pout.

His cheek ticks and bows his head, nodding as he thinks, "but... my mother did try to make it special..." he chews on his lip as he looks at you, "she's worried."

"She shouldn't care so much. She isn't my mother."

"But she is a good mother," he argues, "and she only wanted to include you."

"And I'm just as ungrateful as my father said," you sniff, "I'm sure you'd agree."

"I don't."

"Sure. It's why you left me alone all night. It's why you were so mad that I dare read a book. I know, Mr. Laufeyson, I know."

"Know what?"

You huff and cross your arms.

"I know better," you stand and jut your chin out. "I broke the rules again, I'm sorry."

"The rules... that isn't-- why are you being like this?"

"Like what?" You challenge. 

"Please, I didn't come to lecture me--"

"I know the rules. I remember. I will be good," you drop your arms and force your spine straight, "I will apologise to Frigga and thank her. You're right. You're always right. I was wrong."

You go to step past him and he catches your arm, pulling you to face him, "stop."

"Mr. Laufeyson, is that not what you want? For me to be good? I'm sorry I made you look bad. I only... was surprised," you carefully measure your voice and force a smile, "tell me what to do, Mr. Laufeyson and I will obey."

His brows slant and he swallows tightly. He squeezes your wrist then releases you, "apologise," he breathes, "say thank you."

"Yes, Mr. Laufeyson," you reply and march through the door, "whatever you wish."

You keep your gait steady and set. He follows behind you and catches up. You return to the veranda in curdling silence. As the rest look up at you, you gather what's left of your strength.

"I'm sorry," you say, "I was only surprised and I... panicked."

"Dear, it's okay, I should've warned you," Frigga coos.

"I really appreciate it," you sit as Laufeyson pulls out your chair, "really..." you look at the pink cake, "I never had a birthday cake before."

As the words escape, you clamp your lips shut. It's only the silence that makes you realise how pathetic that must sound. You put your chin down and try to hide your embarrassment.

"Of course, dear," Frigga fills the dead air, "would you like to cut the first piece?”

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut. (Spoilery!)

Once, while everyone else was working, Shiho led Lou by the hand to a storage shed that was tucked discreetly behind a natural undulation in the landscape. They were laughing and whispering and watching over their shoulder to make sure no one else saw their escape. Lou watched behind them as Shiho eased the shed door open. She gasped in surprise and shut the door quickly. Before she did, Lou caught a brief, painful glimpse of Artie’s back, ass, and arms, muscles rippling, thrusting into Tsuneko, whose legs were wrapped around her waist. Lou felt like the floor fell out from beneath her, like the split seconds between being thrown from a horse and hitting the ground, stretched out for what seemed like an eternity. The pain was coming, she knew, and all she could do was try to land in a way that would minimize the damage. She stared at the hastily closed shed door in front of her. She thought that there was a strange, high-pitched sound coming from somewhere, a bird crying, maybe, before she realized her ears were ringing. She caught her breath, which she hadn’t known had been knocked out of her, but her next exhale tried to come out as a sob. She tried to cover it with a clearing of her throat.

“Oh gods,” Shiho said. She took Lou’s arm and dragged her away as fast as she could. “Oh my fucking god.”

Lou stumbled along with her. She couldn’t speak– she could hardly think– from the jealousy that had risen to sit heavy, like a stone in her throat.

“I am so embarrassed,” Shiho said. She didn’t seem to notice Lou’s state, wrapped up in her own shock. “Tsuneko is going to fucking kill me.” 

Lou knew, of course, that they’d been having sex. If she let the image come to her in the past, it rocked her with envy like she’d never known, but it was nothing compared to seeing it in real life. She felt like her heart fell through the bottom of her stomach and out her pant leg as Shiho pulled her to the safety of the shadow behind one of the houses.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. Her cheeks were glowing. She took Lou’s hand in hers. Lou felt like there was no blood in her fingertips. “I had no idea.”

“I’m–” Lou said. She couldn’t find her words because all she could think was that it should have been her in there, sweating in the closeness of the room, sweating from the effort and the desperation, crushed under Artie’s weight, her back scraping against the hard-packed dirt floor with every thrust, her legs wrapped around her waist. It should have been her but Artie wouldn’t even allow Lou into her line of sight.

[xwinterwidowx]

hi everyone!! its been like a good monthish since ive posted and i have a good reason. i got really roped up in this rp discord server and its so fun and i also got my phone taken away for like a week and a half so thats also a thing but yeah i added to one of my old fics and i hope you enjoy it! as always please comment and like if you enjoyed these fics!!

tw: attempted su!c!de, mentions of death, au where sonic is immortal

Sonic had become immortal a while back, because of the Chaos energy he'd absorbed. There was just so much of it that it overwhelmed his body and almost killed him. However, it didn't kill him. It just made him immortal for some reason. And this meant that Sonic had to watch as all of his friends slowly got old and passed away. And Shadow had to watch this happen. He had to watch the love of his life want to kill himself because of some stupid Prism. It was decades since he had been able to run with Knuckles, go out in nature with Amy, do anything with Tails, and he was sick of it. If he couldn't find a way to deal with it, he would join them. So he went on the roof and stood there, looking down. He just stood there. Shadow goes looking for him and comes to a full stop when he sees Sonic at the edge.

"Sonic, please, get down from there," Shadow pleads with him. "It won't work. Please." Shadow takes a step forward and Sonic does too. Shadow freezes immediately. "Sunshine, please don't do this. You're not alone."

"Yes I am! All of my friends died! And I can't! Do you know how that feels?!"

"Of course I do, Soni. I felt the same way when Maria died. Please just... come down. We can talk about this. You can feel better, I promise. I swear it."

"It won't. It can't get better, Shadow. I have nothing left."

"You have me. You'll always have me. Don't you remember when you said that? You said, 'You never have to worry about being alone, because you'll always have me, and I'll always be here for you.' Don't you remember when you said that?"

"I do," is all that he says.

"Let me help you. Please, just come here." Sonic looks back and lets out a sob. Shadow tentatively takes a step forward and Sonic walks into his arms. Shadow gently picks Sonic up and starts carrying him back to his room. He lays down on his bed with the blue hedgehog in his arms.

"I'm sorry..." Sonic sobs.

"It's okay... it's okay..." Shadow kisses his forehead and Sonic moves so he can hear Shadow's heartbeat.

"They're all gone," he sobs. "They're all-gone. I miss them..."

"I know. I do too."

"I wish Tails was here," Sonic whimpers, clutching Shadow's hand.

"I know, Soni. I wish Maria were here."

"How do you deal with this? It's so hard..." he squeezes his eyes shut.

"I know it is. But I just think about what she would have wanted for me. Think about Knuckles and Rouge and Amy and Tails. Think about Tom and Maddie and what they wanted."

"I just want them back."

"I know. I wish I could take your pain away. I would if I could."

"I just miss them."

"I know, sun-sun. I know." Shadow grabbed a nearby brush and started running it through Sonic's blue quills. He started to calm down and began purring softly so Shadow scratched his ears.

"M'tired..."

"I know. You can rest. I'm right here."

"Mm-mm. Not like that."

"Oh," is all Shadow says, closing his eyes.

"Shads?"

"Soni?"

"Im hungry..."

"Yeah? What do you want, sunshine?"

"Chili dogs," Sonic murmurs. Shadow smiles and nods.

"Ill make you some. You wanna stay here or come downstairs with me?"

"Stay here."

"Alright, sun-sun. Ill be back soon, okay?" Sonic nods and Shadow leaves him with a small kiss on the nose. He makes sure to wrap the blanket tightly around Sonic so it doesnt fall and make him cold. Shadow comes back about 15 minutes later with a plate full of chili dogs.

"I love you," Sonic mumbles, sitting up.

"Eat. I know you haven't eaten all day." Shadow rests the plate on his lap while Sonic eats one.

"Theyre so good. Thank you, Shads," Sonic smiles and rests his head on Shadow's shoulder. Shadow's arm snakes around his waist and pulls him closer. "I dont know what Id do without you, Shadow."

"Die of hunger, probably," Shadow teases.

"Did you just make a pun?" Sonic raises an eyebrow.

"The ultimate life form does what he wants."

Sonic smiles and gestures to the plate. "Have one." He nudges Shadow slightly.

"Are you sure? I dont want you to be hungry."

"Im sure. I promise." Shadow grabs one and bites into it.

"Youre right. Its good." Sonic gives a small smile and nods.

"Shadow? Will you... help me sleep?" Whenever Sonic asked that, it meant he wanted Shadow to hum to him.

"Of course, Soni. Ill put the chili dogs over here, okay?" Shadow puts the plate on the bedside table and moves to hold Sonic on top of him. Shadow begins to hum softly and scratch behind Sonic's ears.

"G'night, Shads..." Sonic yawns.

"Good night, Sonic. Ill always be here whenever you need me."

[certainlynotasimp]

Hiiiii can you do another miggy x sunny family story like maybe they meet all the kids or like just daily lives the other one was really good

Father’s Day

((Miguel O’Hara X Female Reader))

A/N: Hello~✨ I’m just using your ask as an excuse to make a Father’s Day post. I’m so sorry, I promise they will meet. Here’s a look into Earth 1784-B Miggy and Sunny with everyone’s favorite character, Maria.

A/N: This can be read alone, but if you want to read more and get some context, check out my Masterlist. Feel free to join the discord if you guys just wanna come and chat.

Warnings: Grumpy x Sunshine??, Female Reader/Female Pronouns, No use of Y/N, Fluff, Sibling Fluff/ Bickering, Deepl Spanish Translations, and Short.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Earth 1784-B

The scurrying of feet along the hallway causes the man to groan as he feels around for his wife, only to end up feeling nothing. His eyes crack open as he looks around the bright bedroom as the noises in the hallway turn into hurried whispers. Suspicion perks up as he sits up and grabs his phone off the side table. The image of his family appears on the screen with bright smiles showing him the answer to his worries with a familiar date on the screen.

It was Father’s Day. His favorite/ least favorite holiday. He chuckles as he figures that his adorable wife would force him to the familiar routine he’s made to endure every year since they had Maria all those years ago. He smiles at the memory of his firstborn being placed on his chest as his wife made him breakfast in bed. The creak of the door opening causes the man to peek at the intruder who squeals when those matching eyes meet his doe eyes. Ben giggles as his father raises an eyebrow at him and a quiet, “Good Morning, Papa.”

“Good Morning, Benny,” He smiles at his youngest child as he motions for him to come closer. “What’s your Mama and your partners in crime have planned?”

The boy crawls into bed with his dad and sits beside him on the pillows. His messy dark hair curls his ears with obvious signs of sleep still on his face as he mutters, “Mama and Maria told me not to tell you. Gabriel said he would throw away my legos again.”

Miguel chuckles and gently brushes the messy curls back. “He won’t, bud.” He reassures him. “If he does, I’ll make sure he buys you a new set.”

Before the young boy could respond, the door creaks open again the oldest son grumbles something along the lines of, “Becareful before you spill it, Mensa” Stupid

Maria follows in and glares at her younger brother with a tray of food in her hands. Before she could curse him out, their mother pops them both with an envelope with a scolding look in her eyes.

“Behave.” She scolds before smiling at an awake Miguel. “Good Morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

Miguel chuckles at the nickname before his daughter places the tray onto his lap with a sheepish smile. The plate had slightly burnt blue berry pancakes with slightly over cooked bacon and eggs. Not exactly like how his wife normally cooks this annual breakfast, but Maria softly apologizes.

“Sorry it’s a little over cooked, Papa. Gabriel wasn’t watching the pancakes-!”

“I was watching them! You’re just a contro-“ The boy interrupts before getting popped again with the envelope.

“You two quit it!” Their cheery mother fusses. “You have 363 days to fight, this is one of two you don’t fight on.”

“Sorry Mama.” The two squeak before Maria kisses her father’s cheek.

“Happy Father’s Day.” She mumbles. Miguel chuckles and ruffles Gabriel’s head as the boy looked at him embarrassed.”Gracias, mis pequeños. Intentad no atacaros otra vez por mi desayuno, ¿vale?” Thank you, my little ones. Try not to attack each other over my breakfast again, okay?

“Okay, Dad.” The thirteen year old attempts to recover from his father’s affection by putting on a tough pout, similar to his mother’s. Miguel smiles as sees his love sit back on her spot on the bed with Ben curling up closer to her.

“Well, my love.” She sighs as she gives him a loving smile. Miguel can remember the first time he saw that smile in his lab and all the times afterwards. The smile that trapped him to her happily.

“Our wonderful children decided to leave gift hunting to me because they couldn’t agree on anything.” She looks at the two older siblings as they awkwardly shuffles. “So I think you’ll enjoy what I got for you.” She hands him the red envelope she had used to control their little trouble makers and places a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Happy 19th Father’s Day, mi amor.” She whispers into his sharp cheekbone as their youngest groans about his parents showing affection.

With a chuckle, Miguel rips open the envelope and peeks inside with a raised eyebrow as several pieces of pink paper were inside. Upon pulling a couple pieces out to see his wife’s familiar scrawl, he realizes what it is.

A chest rumbling laugh fills the room as he reads out loud, “One free coupon for my child to do the dishes, One free coupon for my child to wash my car, One free coupon for my child to clean the bathroom..”

“WHAT?!” The two oldest yelled in shock, clearly not aware of what their mother had done.

With a giggle, their mother looks at the kids in feigned innocence. “What a better gift to give your poor overworked father than a day where he doesn’t have to do chores? Besides you told me to pick..”

“Mama!” The duo started to argue only for their father’s harsh glare reprimands them. They both shut up as Miguel rewards them with a tight grin and both of them with five coupons each. “I wasn’t gonna use these if you didn’t try to back talk your mother. You two have fun.”

“What about Ben?” Gabriel argues as his eyes cut at his sister.

Miguel looks at the seven year old and hands him two coupons that made him clean up his room and pick up his toys. “Now all three of you go so I can enjoy my breakfast.”

Ben hugs his father’s shoulders and runs off while the eight teen year old drags the pouting teen out of the bedroom.

Miguel looks over at his wife with an amused look as he mumbles through a bite of bacon, “This was all your plan?”

“Not all of it,” She admits as she leans back on the headboard. A playful smile on her face as she fidgets with her nail polish. “The kids beat me to the kitchen and they already started arguing. You’re actually eating breakfast number 2 because they nearly caught the house on fire. So while I made them cook it again, I made your ‘gift’”

Miguel chuckles as he realizes that his wife was using him as a tool for her punishment. He fakes a glare as he scolds his love, “You used me and my day for your own gain? Who is this criminal mastermind and where is my wife?”

She laughs before reaching under the bed and pulling out two wrapped boxes. “You act like you wouldn’t do the same thing, O’Hara. Here’s your actual Father’s Day gift.” She places the boxes beside him.

After scoffing down half of his pancake, he opens the first box and finds a watch-like device. Miguel looks at her with a quirky eyebrow as she explains, “it’s one of those AI assisted watches, you can make your own AI who will help you throughout the day and get little messages from me and the kids. You can even give it some personality so it isn’t just a boring little thing.”

Miguel looks at her inquisitively before pressing a sticky kiss to her forehead. “Thank you, Cariño.” She turns her nose up at the feeling of his syrup covered lips on her before pulling him to a kiss.

“You should wait to thank me just yet. The watch is from the kids.” She smirks as she indicates for him to open the other box. “That’s from me.”

Miguel takes the hint and opens the box. After seeing his favorite color peaking through some paper, he looks at her with a shocked expression. “Just like the ones from the first Father’s Day?” He asked, astonished.

“Yep.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I was gonna add a part where Miguel and Sunny were celebrating together in their universe but I didn’t feel like writing some angst today. 😅🥲 Now I’m gonna do some fatherless behavior.

~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@ameliadraws @tojisrightnut @whyareyoubored @silly-lovestruck-em @luvil1y @chims-kookies @himesuedi @22carolina08 @chaoticevilbakugo @boredwithlifeatthispoint @hoshhoshh @isaidoop @pheroineux @rosiepetalss @aniya7 @savannahlynnes @boldlypessimistic @dilfaddiction @xsuvs @bunnybopug01 @tanakaslastbraincell @brivers @mistermouseshideyhole @paranoiac-666 @reypolaris @beeframon @sofiahowland376 @bby-lupin @thesrtuggleisveryreal @arminarmout15 @mintellaine @maddsunn @sleepyamaya @meshuao @scaraza @nobarasgfriend @kurxxmi @lemoonandlestars @pix-stuff @galaxieshearme @sunshiines-stuff @iytatsworld @corpsebridenightamare @p-rspective @almostjollypizza @celestiayxl @christinaatyourservice92 @marisolpusheen @hereliespumpkin @lordelvr @shadowlover321 @internal-soundtrack @lotustv @0sftom0 @whosace16 @namjoons-crabssss @baefys-world @namioom @20forty9 @cicithemess2000 @hailssss222 @cityofvoldemort-blog @snow30285 @serenssuga @miguelluvrinnit @sammywammy1 @dameronshandholder @moonlight-fox @miwagila @alexthebootyeater420 @mariaatp @10-jiku2 @uselsshuman @cookiezxx @randomhumans-blog @mothsicn @gingerdissapointment @outspokenmatters @cookieshakr @alex-river1 @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @luna-usagi-chan @icantsleeplol809 @tiredweeb7 @4ishere @i-heart-marvel @mooomeadows @king-julian6201 @local-mr-frog @superbjealousy @wonwuz @lokisnumber1whore @deloe18 @all4koo @gothicgay14 @perrins161 @ghost-with-a-teacup @addictedtothefictionalworld @stevenknightmarc @loxbbg @some-lovely-day @thisisanaccountokaydus @keepingitlokiii @stevenknightmarc @maxi-ride @juneonhoth @fa1rybubbl3z @strxngegirl @iytatsworld @dilfrs @stfugenderfuck @ben-is-a-hoe @coralineyouareinterribledanger @fallinallinmendes @im-sure-its-fine @mirophobic

[hornymotionalcookie]

I knew I had em, but

The number of discord server only works didn't seem so big until I started posting them here.

Maybe I should add em to ao3. Meh. Eventually. Maybe. Anywho, have another self prompt & spiel based on the image at the end.

Bucky's an absolute wreck about this future meeting as he's standing on the platform, getting fitted for his new suit. He's rambling nonstop to the ever patient tailor, Harold, about his friend, his sister, his parents, everyone that comes to his jittery mind as the man marks down his measurements. Everyone in the shop was able to hear and all were getting a kick out of the anecdotes.

One man over in the fitting room across the way was particularly charmed by the imitated voices and cadences included with the stories. He's smiling wide as he's buttoning his cuffs of his suit jacket, huffing laughter at the anxious man's ramblings. He steps out to the 360 mirror, proclaiming the suit's fit utter perfection! He struts over to Harold, thanking him profusely, and halting Bucky's ramblings as he's in complete and silent agreement about the perfection of both the suit and its wearer. The man's gorgeous.

It's the first time Bucky's been quiet more than a minute straight, watching the man's easy movements in his camel brown/gray, supremely well fitted suit. And the silence doesn't go unnoticed.

He winks up at Bucky on the fitting platform. "A bit of advice if I may?" He asks.

"Please," Bucky blurts, desperate for a useful technique and to hear the smooth timbred man speak again.

"Deep breaths before, slow exhale. The nerves are natural but your heart and your excitement is eeking out. Let them feel that. Speak softly and sincerely and hold em close. That first hug, there's nothing like it. And congratulations."

Bucky beamed at the simplicity of it all and that this beautiful stranger would take the time to help him with his nerves. "Thank you, uh, I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"I'm Sam. Sam Wilson. Tell you what. May I?" He directed at Harold before borrowing his pen and scribbling something down on a card. "Give me a call, sometime. I'd love to hear how it all went." Sam stepped up to hold the card out, "You said your name was James, right?"

"Uh, yeah. But my friends call me Bucky." Sam smiled up at him again, nearly buckling poor Bucky's knees. "Bucky. Good luck. And remember to breathe." Bucky took the card and Sam's hands surrounded his in an affectionate pat. Nerves were going to be the death of Bucky this day.

"I'll wear the suit to the meeting, Harold."

He nodded, "Ok, I'll have GG ring you up."

Sam nodded before disappearing to collect his things, winking at Bucky again as he passed on his way to the register. If it weren't for the real evidence of the card in hand and that Harold talked to him, too, Bucky surely would've thought he'd been visited by the anti anxiety angel.

[wulfthedollmaker]

Explaining everything

hello, its me again. i know ive worried a lot of people with my last post, and i want to let you know that im not dead!!!!

i first want to explain how this mental breakdown even started, it didnt happen from just one cause, it was just that multiple unfortunate events gradually compounded together to lead to my eventual crash out

due to unrelated events, ive been in contact with my close friends less frequently, and my period just began, so i was already more emotional. this week hadnt been the best, and the morning was already off to a bad start, but when i started chatting with ppl in discord, i had a mini crash out because i felt as if people were ignoring me (something im unfortunately prone to, and am working on improving)

thats what began to put me in a pretty bad mood, but what tipped me over the edge was an event i mentioned in my previous post: i purchased MBB on Steam only to find out it was only compatible with Windows

on the surface, it seems like such a small and petty reason to crash out over, but this was not only combined with the events i had previously mentioned, but with my increasing anxiety and imposter syndrome i gained over time in the fandom. felt the desperate need to stay relevant in the fandom, and i wanted to actually experience the game myself rather than watch a playthrough, but i cant. and if i cant interact with the newest thing in the franchise, than what good am i? and if its even possible for me to avoid spoilers until july (my birthday) to get myself a computer that can run it, will people even care about me playing a game that came out months ago? because what good am i if i cannot keep up with the newest craze? will i be seen as anything other than just a worthless 18 year old who makes mediocre art?

its why i wanted to isolate myself from the more popular GoBB spaces, the only people i feel i can even trust are close friends who might not even be online all the time

and to clarify the meaning of my last post, i intended to just inform ppl that i would isolate myself from this site more, however i was not in the right mental state to be writing the post, so i unintentionally made it sound like i was going to end my own life, and that understandably scared a lot of my mutuals

i am so, so deeply sorry for scaring you guys, i never meant for the post to come off the way it did, and i never knew so many people actually cared about my well-being

since that post, i have taken a break to put myself back together, my sibling even helped me recover through this turmoil, and i'm in a much better headspace than i was before

and during all this, i was brought to tears by all the people who showed concern and love towards me, not only my sibling, but friends on discord and some tumblr mutuals showed so much affection and care towards me that...idk...i never though i was worthy of such feelings...thank you all so so much <3

again, i am so so so sorry for worrying everyone, this is probably my biggest crash out since i was in the DST fandom, and i will try my very hardest to improve myself since this incident

i may still be active here, but i mostly want to keep my communication between those closest with me on discord and tumblr dms

but yeah, thats all i have to say, thank you all for caring to read this far <333333

[eliotlime]

November update post thing

Drawing of me watching short-form video content without sound vs one where I am lol

If you use short-form video platforms of any kind and would like to help me with my survey you can do so here! Though I'll probably be closing it sometime next week (2nd November 2024 ish) to collate the data for submission.

I've got a metric tonne of deadlines due next week but you know what it's blog update time!!

This is also not going to be scheduled to post because I usually write these on the 29th but I forgot! So it's getting posted now!!

💀 School..

Yeap as I've said I'm in school so that's still in progress, I have completely no idea what I'm doing everyday and as it turns out no time to worry about it either I got deadlines baby!!!

I mean in theory I understand but it's all a big question mark to me, like i need to be reassured like a nervous dog that I'm doing the right thing and what not

And because of that I'm real sorry about pushing the Abacelsus zine to the back burner, I actually got quite a lot of it done before I had to lock in for school of course.

And though I said I had a lot of sketches I didn't post well they were shittier than I liked them to be so I wanted to make it look nicer. Oh well dems the breaks.

Another screenie of my school work, they didn't really go into depth about how to specifically design stuff so it's basically me frankenstien-ing stuff I've seen existing and just trying my best lol

I mean.. overall it's funnnn... i guess... I do like projects but everyone in my class are adults with established jobs or goals. Even those who are around my age seem to know what they're aiming for too, feels like I'm an unemployed little sucker fumbling in the dark. Can be humiliating I won't lie, why is learning something new so embarrassing?

Aside from that I'm seeing people be so social online while studying too and it's almost mesmerizing, it's definitely survivor bias but those that can balance it are fascinating to me.

📖Anthology Update

Agh enough of that debbie downer bullshit, I'll tell you what I've also got due next week! That's right!! The drafts for my anthology!

Screenie of one of the panels I posted onto my ko-fi discord!

I'm not even half way done and it's due on the 6th of December. I'm beyond FUCKED. Anyway I can get it done by then but the school shit is sucking the life out of me through my ears.

☕ Ko-Fi Page

Deadlines aside I've also randomly launched my Ko-fi Membership page! I haven't quite had the time to properly promote it but it's there and I've been updating it every so often

I've got stuff up there already and comics of things that aren't polished (or sfw) enough for me to post. Especially if you're interested in my characters and would like to support me, here's a good hub to check all of it out!

The Ko-fi Discord updates the most frequently, basically every time I draw anything (Which is quite often!). The actual ko-fi gallery is only being updated every week to prevent spam.

Shout out to my one ko-fi member, wormfriend. Right now it's quite funny to have just the one but I definitely would like more so plz join!!! I promise I draw a lot!!!

🌯 Wrapping it up...

That's all I've got for you this month, real grind-y and uneventful but hey some moths are like that. I talked about opening my commissions again in December and I intend to keep that promise but as of yet the first week is not looking too hot haha. I'll consider it on the 7th but whuff it's real packed right now!

I don't have really anything else to say or add that isn't either

a) incredibly negative and self deprecating

or

b) cussing the shit out of disrespectful transphobic anonymous asks I've been getting

so I'm just going to end this hastily written blog update here and get back to work!

I leave you with this cool down drawing of a honda civic and my attempts at a motorcycle that can also hover in the air.

As always thank you so much for reading and I've been so busy I haven't even had time to work on my annual redraw that's been sitting in my folders gah! If you’d like to support me, here’s my ko-fi page again and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Imagine # 1,055

Gif NOT mine.

Year posted - 2023

Rating - SFW

Length - Short

"Look I know water is scary Lixian, but I'll be with you the whole time." (Y/n) encouraged her friend through discord, trying to coax him into following her character into the lake. "No no I'm good." Lixian laughed nervously, backing his character away from the water. "But there could be secrets!" (Y/n) tried to insist, but Lixian only scoffed in response. "They can stay a secret!" He argued making (Y/n) laugh. "Okay okay, I'll go by myself." She sighed before walking her character out into the inky black water. "If you get attacked I'm not helping you." Lixian warned with a laugh. "I know." She smiled to her camera. "Isn't he a great friend guys?" She asked her chat, laughing when he scoffed in mock offence. "I already told you, I will not go near that water." Lixian pointed out. "Yeah yeah I know." (Y/n) chuckled, only moderately disappointed to find there were no secrets, or any scares to be had. "Oh hey love, thank you." (Y/n) spoke to someone off camera who's arm briefly came into sight, placing a glass of her favorite warm drink on the desk. "What?" Lixian asked in confusion. "Oh sorry Lix, my boyfriend just brought me a drink." She explained, beaming when he leaned over and kissed the crown of her head. "Nice. I've got coffee." Lixian stated before sipping his drink. (Y/n) watched as her boyfriend moved across the room, setting on the loveseat in the room. "Wow my chats going crazy." She mused as she looked at chat. "About what?" Lixian asked curiously. "They wanna meet my boyfriend." She looked over to find him already looking at her. He shrugged his shoulders and stood up again. "Okay you guys win, he's been watching the stream on his tablet, and he's agreed to say hello so you get to meet him." (Y/n) spoke to chat. "Oh let me pull up your stream I wanna see." Lixian mused aloud, pulling the stream up so his chat could see as well. "Okay guys this is my boyfriend Axel." (Y/n) introduced, as he knelt beside her, looking onto the camera. "Wow he looks familiar." Lixian pointed out, both his chat and (Y/n)'s going crazy. "We hear that a lot." She chuckled softly. "He looks like Wesker from Resident Evil!" Lixian gushed suddenly, making (Y/n) grin. "Yeah I tease him about that all the time." She mused before kissing her lovers cheek. What they didn't know was that he was in fact Albert Wesker, having crossed from his world into theirs several years ago, and he's been with (Y/n) since he arrived in this world. "Hello everyone." He spoke to the camera, smirking in a signature way. "Oh my god he even sounds like him!" Lixian gushed again, making (Y/n) chuckle with a knowing smile.

Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️

(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)

I'm really tired right now, and I feel like this one sucks, but ima post it anyways!

[acetone4veins]

Quotes + Mean Girls

associating angsty quotes (and some fluffy ones) to mean girls characters and dynamics, this is definitely longer than it should be and will probably be part 1 of many but anyways. lmk which were your favorites and which ones ruined you :) also shoutout to the cautionary tale discord who saw some of these already and ramble about these characters with me <3

posting under the cut so i don't clog anyone's feeds

Regina

"what a terrible thing to wound someone you really care for - and to do it so unconsciously."

Haruki Murakami

"and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?"

Charles Bukowski

"i am changing. i am trying to be better. it is slow; it is rough; it is repetitive, but i swear i am."

Abdulsamad S. M.

"i did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. i did not like to be touched because i craved it too much. i wanted to be held very tight so i would not break."

Marya Hornbacher

"i was not a loveable child, and i'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs."

Gillian Flynn

"if only my heart were as cold as i pretend it is, maybe i could get over this."

Jessica Katoff

"i wasn't beautiful anymore. now i looked like what i was, a raw wound."

Janet Fitch

"i'm restless and harsh and despairing. although i do have love inside me. i just don't know how to use love. sometimes it tears at my flesh, like barbs."

Clarice Lispector

"i did not mean to be cruel. i swear i am good, i am good, i am kind. i have love inside me. some place far far away."

unknown

Cady

"how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before its some kind of murder?"

Richard Siken

"your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing."

Dyodor Dosteovsky

"what and how much had i lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what i myself wished to do?"

Ralph Ellison

"my god, my god, whose performance am i watching? how many people am i? who am i? what is this space between myself and myself?"

Fernando Pessoa

"it was good for a while, being empty. i didn't hurt anymore. but as time went on, it was like i could hear myself from far away, begging for permission to come back."

Myra McEntire

"is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?"

Friedrich Nietzsche

"who's the real you? the person who did something awful, or the one who's horrified by the awful thing you did? is one part of you allowed to forgive the other?"

Rebecca Stead

"you're a mess of good intentions gone wrong. you strike a match on yourself to keep others warm, and now the whole goddamn world's on fire. you try to put it out, and you try so hard. the dam breaks, and the waters of your sorrow pour free. you are sorry; so very, very sorrow - and you will drown everyone to prove it."

unknown

Janis

"there are times when i am convinced i am unfit for any human relationship."

Franz Kafka

"i am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and i thought people would see it because 'romantic' doesn't mean 'sugary'. it's dark and tormented - the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you cannot attain."

Catherine Breillat

"but whatever came, she had resolved never again to belong to another than herself."

Kate Chopin

"there were two reasons i was scared to let people in; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find."

Chris McGeown

"perhaps its good for one to suffer. can an artist do anything if he's happy? would he ever want to do anything? what is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?"

Aldous Huxley

Gretchen

"i want so obviously, so desperately to be loved, and to be capable of love."

Sylvia Plath

"she wanted to say 'don't leave me', but she couldn't do it, not again. she was so tired of begging people to love her."

Kristin Hannah

"he is charmingly telling me how much he does not love me...and i, - listening to him carefully, - am approving it."

Marina Tsvetaeva

"she's gonna forever say 'i got this' even with tears in her eyes."

unknown

"still there is this terrible desire to be loved. still, there is this horror at being left behind."

Michael Cunningham

"can you understand me? someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little?"

Sylvia Plath

"i am trying to make myself digestible. i am trying to make myself easy to love."

I.B. Vyache

"do you think it is possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?"

Tyler Knott Gregson

Karen

"the sensitive suffer more; but they love more, and dream more."

Augusto Cury

"a lot of people tell me i'm a bit dreamy. but i like the idea of that. of being somewhere else."

Alam

"you cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. this is your tragedy, because you understand them but they do not understand you."

Daniel Saint

Regina and Janis

"the bear loved the deer, it was obvious. it ripped the deer's throat out, and then licked the dying deer with the most passionate affection. i thought of you and me."

David Cronenberg

"can you hate someone for what they have done, but still love them for whom they had been?"

Jodi Picoult

"love isn't soft, like those poets say. love has teeth which bite and the wounds never close."

Stephen King

"i love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

Pablo Neruda

"they will hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if i love you and i will say no but the needle will jump and sputter exactly how you laugh."

unknown

"there's a sickening feeling of familiarity, when the wrong person knows you too well and you know them too well. and they weren't always the wrong person."

unknown

"we don't mean to hurt each other, but we do. and perhaps no matter how right we are for each other, we'll always be a little wrong."

Beau Taplin

Regina and Cady

"i am intense darkness and you are a golden sunrise."

Arijit Singh and Pritam

"even before you touched me, i belonged to you; all you had to do was look at me."

unknown

"whether you come as a lover or an executioner, i am ready to receive you."

Agustin Gomez-Arcos

"for the longest time, i saw myself as a bad person. you don't know how much it meant to me when you looked at me and could see the good."

unknown

"but i have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and i choose both."

Sarah Kay

"i promised myself i would never fall in love with you. but it was 4 am, and we were laughing way too hard, and i felt happy for the first time in a long time, and i knew i was screwed."

unknown

Gretchen and Karen

"i would rather be with you - even the you that you seem to think is diminished - than with anyone else in the world."

Jojo Moyes

"it hurts, he realizes, to love someone who can't love themselves. like watching a work of art set itself on fire."

unknown

"how amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head."

Nina LaCour

"come love, make me better than i was. come teach me a kinder way to say my own name."

Andrea Gibson

"i wanted you to see a mess and still find me worthy of love, to tell me that you could still love me anyway."

Georges Bataille

"sometimes, love is as simple as watching the moon and sometimes its as difficult as counting the stars. but i love doing both for you."

unknown

Janis and Damian

"you may be born into a family, but you walk into friendships. some you'll discover you should put behind you. others are worth every risk."

Adam Silvera

Regina and Gretchen

"but i am very homesick for arms that have never held me."

unknown

"i burned so long so quiet you must have wondered if i loved you back. i did, i did, i do."

Annelyse Gelman

"so i wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me. till then my windows ache."

Pablo Neruda

"how do you tell someone that the reason you're sad is because you love them?"

unknown

[jimmytwoshoesmovie]

hey. are you doing okay? it's been years since you last posted here.

Sorry I took a few days to reply to this, I knew it’d be a long response so I wanted to wait until I had the time to write it out.

To answer your question, I’d say I’m doing alright. Certainly better than I was last year, at least. To everyone else who doesn’t even remember who the Miseryville I am, hi! My name is ToraNova (T.N.), though these days I’ve also started going by Zecil (like “Cecil” but with a Z). In 2010, as I was graduating high school, 4chan’s /co/ (Cartoons & Comics) board introduced me to a Canadian cartoon called Jimmy Two-Shoes. (This was back when 4chan wasn’t one of the most wretched hives of scum and villainy on the internet… at least not all the boards)

Instantly I fell in love with JTS. The show reminded me a lot of the Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, which along with Invader Zim was my favorite cartoon in high school, while at the same time having this completely unique vibe that I haven’t seen replicated by another animated series before or since. I wanted to gush about it to everyone I could, the only problem was nobody had heard of it.

So purely in an attempt just to get more people to watch it, I set up the Miseryville TV YouTube channel in November of 2010, when YouTube itself was only 5 years old and couldn’t have been more different from the platform we know it as nowadays. I maintained and uploaded every episode of the series to this channel until it was cancelled in 2012. Even though it was originally started by me, someone who was just a fan, I’m so happy it later got the blessing of those on the official JTS crew and still remains how an immense amount of people have discovered and watched JTS to this day.

Ideas for what would eventually become Misery Loves Company, aka the Jimmy Two-Shoes Movie Project, started around 2011 if I remember correctly. But I wouldn’t say it really became what we currently know it as until around 2013. The first post on this blog is dated 2014 but I know I was working on it earlier than that.

During this time I had two very close friends, let’s call them A and B. I’d introduced them to JTS and it quickly became one of their favorite cartoons as well. Both A and B were fantastic artists and wonderfully creative people, even more than I felt like I was, despite the fact I was the one currently going to an art college to get a degree in animation. I would bounce a lot of ideas for MLC off of them, they’d draw stuff related to it, which then inspired me even further. Before I knew it they’d ended up contributing so much more to the project than I was ready to admit.

Then, in 2015, we had a huge falling out that was so devastating to my mental health that I actually ended up in the hospital for a while. By the time I started to recover, A and B had basically resolved to never speak to me again. It almost made me never want to think about this project or JTS as a whole ever again.

Luckily, I happened to meet new fans and make new friends who also loved the show through tumblr and discord, which saved it from being ruined for me and saved MLC by extension. Over the next 4 years I continued to slowly work on it when I had the chance or felt inspired to do so. Having already written the outline, I made it my goal to finish and release the first draft of the screenplay for the movie on February 13th, 2019, the show’s 10 year anniversary.

That’s when I started thinking about A and B again. Every time I’d sit down to work on the script, I’d remember what happened, all the stupid and terrible things I did and mistakes I made that led to me destroying our friendship. Unable to separate them from MLC and overwhelmed by the feeling of being a horrible person, I wasn’t making any progress. At that point, I realized I had no other choice but to put this project 9 years in the making on indefinite hiatus, until if or when I was able to deal with those feelings.

I seriously can’t believe that was 6 years ago already. I can’t believe I started this blog and this project in general over a decade ago. Honestly maybe the less I think about that the better LOL

Incidentally, it was only last year that I discovered that someone had not only added this project to the Fanfic Recommendations section of JTS’s TV Tropes page, but MLC itself even has its own page. I remember freaking out and showing all my friends and being so ridiculously flattered when I found out, it was genuinely one of the best things that happened to me in 2024, which was otherwise one of the absolute worst years of my life. So I can’t even express just how insanely grateful I am that there are folks out there who went to the effort to make something like that. It meant so much to me in a time when I perhaps needed it most.

Now here we are in 2025. JTS has been a part of my life for the past 15 years and for the first time probably since it was on TV, it’s getting attention again thanks to Edward Kay finally releasing the infamous “pilot” (or “demo” as Sean Scott referred to it as), which many people including myself were previously convinced didn’t even actually exist. I’m quite glad to have been proven wrong though. It was really cool getting to see the concept animated the way Edward and Sean originally envisioned it.

It’s possible many people are now finding out about this project for the first time thanks to the pilot/demo being found. If that’s the case, hello and welcome! Hopefully this extremely long post has gotten you up to speed about who I am, my history with JTS, the history of the project, etc. With all that being said, I’m sure the question on everybody’s mind is this:

“What’s going on with Jimmy Two-Shoes: Misery Loves Company now? Will it ever be finished? Or have you given up on it?”

The thing is I don’t want to give up on it. I never did. But life happens, and boy has it ever been happening to me! So the answer to the second question is definitely no, but as for the first, for right now I feel like the most I can say is… maybe?

This might sound a little cringe but another reason I think I would like to eventually return to working on MLC is because of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. I love both those shows, with Hazbin in particular always having reminded me of JTS from the beginning. I don’t know if JTS was an inspiration for Vivienne at all but it’s always been the number one question I’d ask her if I ever got the chance to meet her.

I feel like MLC, and JTS overall, could find a new audience among Hellaverse fans, like it might also be something they’d really enjoy which makes me want to go back to it. There’s also the fact I initially wrote the story over 10 years ago and could definitely make improvements to it now.

I guess I need time to think about it. It’d be a big undertaking to commit to resuming work on this, and I have a lot of other things going on thanks to no longer being a college student in their early 20s and instead an adult in their 30s, but we’ll see.

Until then, stay AWES-MAZING my friends 💖

Love always,

~T.N. / Zecil