#sorry to be so extremely negative; i am just genuinely not ok right now.

[khaire-traveler]

I'm actually struggling so immensely right now. I'll be turning asks off and stuff because life is very unkind. Being queer where I live really sucks, and I feel so extremely isolated constantly, actually. Like, all the time. I just can't do this right now, I'm sorry, guys. Queued posts will be unqueued.

[coolfire333]

Hey sorry to bother you, but Milk-Rad was recently outed as a groomer, and I suspect the only reason they were mentioning your fics earlier is because that news hasn't spreaded to tumblr. Please be careful around them. I can't send links in questions but if you look up rad_milkk on twitter you can find the evidence pretty easily.

Ok I have to be honest with you anon, I don't like callout posts and I don't like people slinging around serious terms and allegations like this

HOWEVER

I looked up what you said and found out that they themselves essentially admitted to behaving inappropriately and sending explicit material to their friend, who was under the age of 18.

This is disgusting enough, but what shocked me right down to my core was the evidence that they had been encouraging their underage friend to read my explicit and mature fics.

I understand being under 18 and wanting to read that stuff. I did that myself when I was underage, and I still have mixed feelings on whether that was healthy for me to do or not. But regardless, it is NOT ALLOWED. IT IS MARKED 18+ FOR A REASON.

I can't stop you from reading my 18+ fics but for the love of god I clearly mark them for a reason, and do not tell me you're going behind my back to do this, AND CERTAINLY DO NOT SEND MY 18+ FICS TO UNDERAGE PEOPLE. It is intensely upsetting.

This is not what a healthy friendship between an adult and someone underage looks like, it is weird and very manipulative to be encouraging them to essentially break the law while also having the kind of unspoken authority over them that being an adult affords them.

I have younger friends irl and online and sometimes they make inappropriate jokes. But I'm not here encouraging them to do so or goading them on to keep getting more and more explicit because that's uncomfortable and coercive.

ANYONE WITH A RATIONAL BRAIN CAN SEE THAT IT'S AT LEAST A LITTLE WEIRD TO BE TALKING ABOUT ADULT MATTERS WITH A MINOR UNLESS YOU HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON FOR DOING SO.

I have already blocked you, but milk-rad, if you see this, I am utterly disgusted at your actions and will not accept your apology nor your excuses. We never really talked to each other much and I'm glad we didn't, because even now it is hard for me to have to block someone whose works I admired and was flattered by.

But I am absolutely horrified that you would involve my works in your inappropriate discussions with your underage friend. I will not go into much detail for the sake of not triggering myself and others, but I have ocd and having this kind of thing happen to me is extremely upsetting on a number of levels because of some of the ocd themes I suffer from.

Beyond reprehensible. There is no excuse for discussing such things with someone underage. There are plenty of adults more than willing to talk about the same things that you could have gone to. And there are plenty of topics to talk about with someone underage that are not gross or creepy. There are ways to befriend someone younger than you without stooping to this level of immorality.

I'm going to wash my hands of this but in a way I feel personally responsible for some of what has happened here. I'm going to have to think long and hard about what's happened and decide if I'm going to do anything about it on my end, other than making this post as a response.

On a lighter note, thank you for letting me know anon, you were very polite and not at all accusative of me or of them, you were just giving a friendly warning. I genuinely want to thank you for how cordially you responded because it seriously would have made this a whole lot worse if you used a more negative tone in letting me know all of this.

[applesfallingfromblondehair]

Just my thoughts… Interestingly we haven’t, to my knowledge, discussed the affect his leaving so abruptly had on his fellow cast. Maybe, Jade, who likely knows why he left, has avoided mentioning him because she had to (legal reasons but Joel did so…) or because she doesn’t want to put his name in the same sentence as a celebration of the casts success. The play was presumably a big deal for her and others careers, maybe she feels the negativity tarnished it. Let’s not forget that Jade had a baby just prior to the play and is still breastfeeding so she was managing a lot to make this work (I’m a mum and I’ve breastfed so I say this based on experience). You don’t do all that unless you want to be part of an important experience.

We don’t know why he left the play or the previous film. What we do know (because he has deliberately chosen to share it) is that he has continued partying, dating and socialising. It’s seeming more and more unlikely that there is an issue with his physical health. Also, if alcohol/drugs were a problem I’d like to think his close friends and family would not be out partying/drinking with him still. Please use some common sense here! Sharing his mum and family gives me hope she/they are well. I hope. I don’t buy the sexual identity reason. The play’s message speaks to that. It makes literally no sense.

We don’t know him. We hope he is ok as we would for any person but we don’t know him. Some of his interactions with such young girls (not just Stella, there were others way before her and some disgusting IG accounts) lead me to conclude that he is nothing like the sweet, modest mummies boy he portrayed himself as publicly, which is fine. He has every right to do what he wants but do it publicly and you will be judged and it will make it harder to sell an image. He also must know or will soon realise that such young, attractive girls will be attracted to his money and status. Genuinely, as recent photos have shown, he’s attractive but looks older than his years and these girls are not blind. If he were not wealthy and famous, they probably wouldn’t look twice. Relationships are said to be a transaction and these are no different.

I do hope he is happy and healthy and so are his loved ones. Regardless of whatever issues he’s faced/facing his actions led to a lot of disappointment for many. It’s good to move on but people don’t forget. Those who know more than us, seemingly have not…

I feel like I might have neglected to talk about Jade, and for that I am sorry. I have always held her in extremely high regard, having a baby and almost immediately jumping in a project like Cock while still breastfeeding + getting married and then going back to work the next day + just generally being a badass bitch, writing and directing and starring in her first one woman show in NYC (tickets available now) really is incredibly impressive. And you're right, maybe she could have put a lot of hope in Taron's pull for the play. What I'd like to say is, however, that in the end most people who had tickets and were let down by the man still went to see the show (multiple times, sometimes) and the show was good enough to keep everyone's interest alive and kicking, so at the end of the day I don't think the damage on that side of things was as massive? And it probably still was a very important formative experience for everyone involved.

I don't really know what to reply to the rest, honestly. You made points that we have already raised several times, and I can't help but agree. Although I'm not sure what you mean by: "It’s good to move on but people don’t forget. Those who know more than us, seemingly have not…" but I assume you're referring to the cast potentially being angry at him. Listen, it could very well be the case, of course. But I personally don't think that Jade's lack of acknowledgment of Taron's (sadly neglectable) involvement in the production is enough to assume that her post was deliberate and mean-spirited.

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

[habeascorpseus]

//tommy neg

Hi! I don’t know if u want to talk about this, which is totally fine! Just wanted advice, some people on twitter are hating on tommy for joking around about dream fans hating on ksi. Which is totally valid, he’s done bad sht before. It’s just that it’s getting to the point where people are getting really negative, when clearly Tommy hasn’t look into KSi’s background. Which he should, it’s just feels like people are starting to think he doesn’t care, when we don’t really know he knows himself. It’s ok if ur not comfortable talking about this! I thought maybe I’ll get insight from a levelheaded person like urself!

ok so here's my thoughts on it. I am getting real fuckin sick of people getting more upset at people who collaborate with problematic content creators than the problematic content creators themselves. like, if I were to go on twitter RIGHT NOW, in the tommy neg tag, I would IMMEDIATELY find 20 tweets talking about how bad it is that tommy is collaborating with ksi, and maybe 1 or 2 talking about how ksi needs to be called out on his shit more. sure, it's shitty that tommy made a video with him, yes, but just because they're friends doesn't mean tommy condones or even is in any way responsible for ksi's actions. same with schlatt. in fact, I see MANY people saying that tommy's going to be the next schlatt when he's 19, to which I call fucking BULLSHIT. because schlatt and ksi refuse to absorb criticism. when they do something wrong, it is like water sliding off duck feathers. it is COMPLETELY unproductive at this point to call them out and try to cancel them. because cancel culture doesn't work on people who don't care. on the other hand, tommy cares a lot. he takes breaks off twitter routinely because of the way the fanbase treats him. when tommy upsets people, he genuinely listens. which makes him an EXTREMELY easy target for people who are tired of yelling at a brick wall. to put it simply, the people who have started the tommy neg tag on twitter want change. they want to feel like they're doing something. people like schlatt and ksi who completely ignore their criticism make them feel unproductive. the only solution is to go for the target who they're more likely to get a response out of. thus, tommy gets yelled at. its fucked up. it's shitty. and most importantly, it's a waste of time, because the people that really matter aren't getting any of the criticism. in conclusion, cancel culture doesn't work and often hurts those in association with problematic creators more than the actual problematic people, because when the problematic people don't care, all you can do is target the people who care about them. tommy legitimately shouldn't be getting this hate but because twitter is a stupid hive mind, he is anyways and in the end nothing will change. thank you for the submission and I am so sorry we have to deal with this fanbase.

[arcadia-city-stories-if]

#but i can say that hearing people speak their truth#on asexuality and being aromantic#really helped me figure some stuff out about myself#and my discomfort with romance lol

Its okay if you want to ignore this, I know its none of my buisness but this got me really curious? I think that maybe i'm a little arospec but its hard to talk about and I know you were really open about other things so maybe you'd be okay with it? Please delete if you want to and sorry again X

Under the cut so me and you can have a little chat my love ❤

So first off, please don't apologise, it's totally fine to ask and thank you for insisting it was my choice - that's incredibly sweet of you but please know that it's not necessary, we're all good here.

Second of all, I can safely say with zero shame that I'm not the person to go to for advice on arospec issues, it's not my lane and, even with my best-hearted most genuine efforts, the likelihood is that I would tap dance all over very sensitive and important lines that I wouldn't be aware of, and that would be a giant disservice to you and the process of introspection you're currently going through in regards to your identity and self-realisation.

But I can tell you my experience with seeing other people, from every point on the sexuality spectrum, talk about how they feel has helped me make peace with some little pieces of me that I'd thought were flaws or failings on my part, that have turned out just to just be preferences and boundaries that I have a complete right to have, and have respected by others.

Ok so, I have no aversion to sex, in fact it's somewhat of a priority with *most* (and I can't stress that enough. Most. Sexuality is not finite no matter where you stand, there will always be the chance of you personally discovering exceptions and caveats that are just as valid as anything else you feel) of my romantic relationships.

But romance? Romance is really really hard for me sometimes lol.

So, for example, I enjoy flirting for the most part, with almost anyone to be honest. I see it like fishing, kind of? Lol but instead of fish I'm looking for that little spark that makes someone interesting to talk to, be it romantic or otherwise. But I cannot stand to be touched by strangers, even the ones I fancy. In fact, even with most friends, I don't enjoy being touched by anyone I'm not already physically intimate with. Which is read by some as an extremely negative trait because I was *just* flirting with them so clearly I'm just leading them on if I don't want to be touched.. making it seem like a flaw in my character whenever I feel that way.

I also hate romantic gestures and kind words lol. Buy me flowers? Thanks I hate it. Want to take me somewhere fancy for dinner? No thanks I'd rather go to the local and get takeout on the way home. You want to say something sweet about me in public, confess your love and affection in front of others? I am furious. And not play furious, actually furious lol. This stuff repulses me, literally and figuratively.

And I've been told frequently by many many people that I'm in the wrong on this and I'm being unfair, or cold, "most people would be grateful" I must have heard a thousand times lol. When, the reality is, my partner would know this about me already, I'm not backwards about being forwards, I'm honest to a fault, which means to do these things despite knowing I don't like it, is just disrespecting my boundaries because they think they know better than me about how *I* feel. When that's not it at all lol - I'm not wrong, I'm just me.

And I wouldn't know that without having listened to other people talk about their experiences and it's helped me make peace with what I thought was just me being "difficult" and it's a huge comfort that I owe entirely to the aspec community. So please know that, if you do find yourself a part of that gang, you are in such good hands!

If you follow me then you definitely follow the creators who have openly talked about their own experiences here, and while they might be fatigued about this right now, if you reach out to them for advice, I'm confident you will get something much more worthwhile than what I can offer you here and now.

Just be patient if it takes a little while, it's been a very long and exhausting day for a lot of them ❤

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

[bereft-of-frogs]

ok. I’ve been for the most part staying out of it. but I gotta say...good god things are getting a tad bit out of hand with the mcu fandom right now.

new content meant that last night for the first time in forever I was like ‘oh maybe read mcu fic? hm? maybe this is a thing I want to do?’ only to be hit on the first page of results with this summary about a Ragnarok AU and how much they didn’t like Ragnarok and about ‘butthurt Ragnarok fans who can’t stand that people don’t like the movie’ and whoooooosh my desire to engage with the mcu fandom just went right out the window rip

look.

there’s criticizing a movie or disliking and there’s being so unrelentingly negative about it that it spills over into your creative work and the way you act towards other fans and potential readers of your work. you can’t control how people interact with your work once you post it online. I get comments all the time on Ragnarok AU fics from people who make the assumption that I didn’t like Ragnarok and am writing AUs out of anger or frustration when in fact the exact opposite is the case. by all means, rewrite the movie if you want to, I know I have, but to let your frustration become a part of your writing to the point where you have to call out other fans...not great

(if you wrote that summary and are somehow following me: hi, sorry, but please reconsider the way you write ao3 summaries and how you interact with other fans. also, genuinely, I think that you would probably get a lot more readers if you just presented the rewrite as ‘hey here is this AU I wrote’ and not centered the whole summary around the anti- vs pro- ragnarok divide, but that’s just my thoughts on general fic summary writing)

anyway, I turned off my computer and went and read a book and watched Altered Carbon, and my evening was saved, it was actually quite nice, but like.

good god, people, this is becoming a bit much. I know asking for maturity in any sort of fandom context is always going to be a bit of a longshot, and this has been going on for a long time, and a problem I think right now with ao3 in general (I made a few posts a couple months ago about struggling in a different fandom with finding a lot of character-basing in ao3 character tags - it seems to also be a general problem with it being extremely difficult to filter out negative content on ao3 especially when it’s contained in the tags or summary and I’m not sure how to solve it)

but yeah things are getting out of hand and like it’s kinda half weirdly entertaining (because as mentioned, I burned all of my previous anxiety about the coming discourse storm out of me with stress over actual things) but also yeah a little discouraging.

[jacepens]

1: HamilTurn(you can differentiate if needed) or MCU, 2: Washette, 3: Anna Strong

And generally a fandom list would be nice to know what to pick from ;) (Love you♡)

You said HamilTurn or MCU and I say both, I'm going to try my best haha. But anyway, thank you!:) Apologies in advance if this gets rambly, but that's the point of this right? Anyway, for ease of scrolling sake, I'll probably put a cut if this gets long but don't worry, it's just me talking a whole bunch lol. Ok, thank you again!! <3 (love you too!)

1. Hamilton/Turn (fandom)

Favorite character: I have to say Lafayette for both. Oh and Mary

Least favorite character: I have no real reason behind this so sorry but Burr, and Simcoe for many reasons

5 favorite ships: washette, lams, hamliza, benwash, whamilton

Character I find most attractive: ...all. But I have to say overall Brian Wiles as Lafayette. That face just…🥺

Character I would marry: Mary Woodhull or Eliza

Character I would be best friends with: you know I'm not sure, but in an ideal world Lafayette (both versions) or Ben but I feel like we wouldn't be best friends. But also everyone, is that an option? Even some of the "villains" would have good stories to tell

A random thought: I feel like most people in the fandom now are so new (they joined in with the movie release!) and unaware of the uh atrocities of back in the day. And y'all are lucky, but those of us who know. Know. (yes, I was unbearable but that's ok because I was having fun, and despite what I just said: have fun in your fandoms even if you're "unbearable", just keep it welcome to all and enjoy the enthusiasm you have for it:))

An unpopular opinion: Oh boy. Maybe stop making quick judgments about people based on what they write/who they ship? There is a line, but I've genuinely never seen it crossed by anyone at least openly sooo just let people have fun? And don't say anything about something? Unless it's actually harmful but even then, keep it to a dm or something and have an open discussion. Just let people vibe, please? Especially younger fans. Just, I’ve seen a weird amount of negativity towards them. They’re kids having fun, we all used to be like that so please, be kind and patient. They’ll learn if they make a mistake. Ok? Ok cool:) (maybe not unpopular but still I wanted to say it)

My canon OTP: Am I allowed to say lams?

My non-canon OTP: washette, wow, who would've guessed? xD

Most badass character: Mary my beloved

Most epic villain: Robert Rogers hands down

Pairing I am not a fan of: no one murder me, but in general I'm just not a fan of jamilton. also whatever was the deal with Anna and Abe

Characters I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): um. Where to begin? Honestly I think every woman in Turn at one point or another, except perhaps Peggy in my opinion. Oh but especially Anna. Also Simcoe. With Hamilton, probably again everyone at some point, but the way Angelica was written just feels so overwhelmingly fictional it bugs me. (But at least Hamilton had some genuine relationships between women, not great but still)

Favorite friendship(s): Ben and Caleb, Washington and Lafayette (what?? yes, you fools. lol). It may sound a tad ~cringey~ but I generally like Hamilton's vibe with the boys, maybe it's just the gender envy, but it's kinda cute and fun.

Character I most identify with: well jeez, I won't lie but Washington. In both versions, except god knows I could never be that chill. Also a dash of Laurens.

Character I wish I could be: wow what a loaded question ummm. I don't want to be like him, but I want to be like in his position so Hamilton lol. Playing an active role but I know personally I am not cut out for a battlefield, so a desk suits me well.

2. MCU (fandom-that I am so out of date from, please take all of this with a grain of salt)

Favorite character: so when I was younger it was Tony Stark but now it’s definitely Wanda and T’challa

Least favorite character: ummm. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, I’m very out of date

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): wandavision, …ngl I can’t think of anymore, I honestly never shipped many and wandavision was like the only couple I remember really liking. Oh, I don’t know them but Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie

Character I find most attractive: embarrassing confession time, Loki was my first bad celebrity crush. Wanda now and Shuri is cute. Also Sylvie

Character I would marry: if I could, Wanda 

Character I would be best friends with: Vision and Peter Parker

A random thought: y’all it’s been so long since I’ve touched MCU I should catch up/refresh shouldn’t I?

An unpopular opinion: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. Personally, I really don’t like the movie Civil War, I think it’s what sorta made me disinterested in mcu. It’s been years since I’ve watched it so maybe I would have a completely different opinion if I saw it today, but at the time it just felt so...wrong? And childish? I literally don’t even remember why they were fighting or how that movie even ended (I feel like it just wasn’t satisfying??) but I think also, as a kid or teen watching that, it reminded me sooo much of the dumb drama that, you know, kids get into. I mean, getting your friends on someone’s side like that?? Like, I know they were mad but- but there are other ways of dealing with emotions??? And involving everyone's friends too? So yeah, it just felt off to me at the time, and looking back now, from what I remember, it just frustrated me. Especially as a kid who deals with dumb drama like that all the time, kids would want to see a better example especially from adult superheroes or at least not be reminded of the bs they have to go through sometimes. But, rant over, that’s all just my opinion:) 

My canon OTP: wandavision

My non-canon OTP: ummm. I guess just Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie lol

Most badass character: I have to say Natasha but actually there are many

Most epic villain: when I was younger I liked that Ultron was voiced by Robert California from the Office lol

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t know if it’s popular but I never liked Tony and Pepper. What happened with her?

Characters I feel the writers screwed up: I guess I’ll say Thor because I just felt such a weird difference in his personality that did not make sense to me

Favorite friendship: Wanda and Pietro!! Honestly I think a lot, there were a lot of good friendships but I can’t think of which ones are my favorite

Character I most identify with: ummmmmm. 

Character I wish I could be: My gut says Thor

3. Washette (ship-bless you<3 get ready for rambles oh no)

When I started shipping them: So I first had the thought in 7th grade while my history teacher was talking about them and my little brain went: haha that’s pretty gay. (teacher keeps talking about them) wait a fucking minute, that is pretty gay! But it wasn’t until I got sucked into Hamilton that I really started actively shipping them by reading fics and what not, but something about them became an instant favorite. And later (little personal story time) I pretty much completely stopped reading fic and being active in fandom for years and actually, when I got my first panic attack that - no joke - lasted for 5 hours, for some reason my brain (as it’s decaying lol) said I want to go and reread all my favorite washette fics and also do what I was I always too scared to do. Write!! So that night I binged the fics and found myself falling in love again, feeling all the old passion I had for them again, and the next night (still very shaken) I wrote an outline of a good ol washette confession + kiss that was extremely thoughtful and good, and honestly, I have not actually used that outline yet! Maybe I’m saving it. But yeah, this is a long answer, but I have a weird amount of attachment to them and this ship, I wish I knew why too. <3 

My thoughts: so many. Too many. First of all, I love that I have so many versions of them in my mind, right? When I started writing, I had never watched Turn but then I did and then it was like: hell yeah, another washette set. At this point, my brain has created it’s own unique version of them but it’s like, they’re so versatile! That’s one neat thing about this fandom as a whole, we get more than one character and personality and that’s just fun right?! More specifically on washette I mean, they’re just so sweet. Historically, their relationship is unique and cute, and you’d have to be a fool to think that to Washington Lafayette was just another friend. Even strictly platonically, it was something special and it’s so obvious I just love them. Ok. Enough thoughts for now <3

What makes me happy about them: the loooove, the comfort they found in each other, the fact that like every person at the time documenting them knew and understood they were special to each other like, they were just that in love. 

What makes me sad about them: oh so much that I try to ignore lol. There is the one year when Lafayette went to France and all his letters to Wash are like: “I have not received one letter from you, but it’s ok, I love you and I know you love me too :)” WHO WAS NOT DELIVERING THESE LETTERS, I HAVE NAMES, NOW I WANT ANSWERS. Anyway, also just most things that happened when Laf went back to France. And then when he visited America in 1824 and visited Washington’s grave. Yeah. ow. (also, you know what, I have done too much research on this event. lmk if you would like a post)

Things done in fanfic that annoy me: Generally, I’m not annoyed by much in fanfic at least with them and what I’ve seen. I’m still nostalgic for the old school nonbinary Laf fics, so it ain’t those. Literally maybe it’s because I’m starved for content but I can’t really think of anything, I love it all.

Things I look for in fanfic: back to the whole starved for content thing, I am a library of washette fics but I think if I was to pick a certain thing that I would love it’s just um fluff? And honesty, if that makes sense. Love confessions are very good as well. Canon era, please :) pining but not too much that it hurts me lol

My wishlist: literally all my wips. If I could whisk them into existence I could die happy and knowing I have put a variety of washette content in the world. Something else though, more fics :’) I love writing but sometimes I want to curl up with a cozy, new washette fic like a cup of hot chocolate and be surprised and learn something new and just..yeah:)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: what. Ok but actually, Martha and Adrienne because they are both honestly perfect for them and I love them too (I’m going to be biased, especially Adrienne)

My happily ever after for them: Can Lafayette just move the family to America? But also, it’s sad, but like I know Laf would be sad in America while France suffers. So...maybe a world where things in France go better and Lafayette gets to visit Washington more often and bring the family!! (Washington visit France too??)

4. Anna Strong (character)

How I feel about this character: I like her! She’s fun and…strong (oops lol) and she’s made some mistakes sure, but I feel like she did her best to learn from them and move on

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, I know they didn’t have a lot of interaction in the show but Anna/Mary has potential. And Anna/Edmund

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and Ben and Caleb

My unpopular opinion about this character: I really can’t think of anything unpopular

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in general, her having more screen time with less men you know? I mean like one-on-one kind of scenes. Also I would’ve liked to see at least her and Selah talk. Like, really talk. They never really did that, right? I just have so many questions about them

Favorite friendship for this character: Anna and Ben

My crossover ship: I have no idea

And well, I know it’s been a few days but for a fandom list, I’m just a weeb lol but here

Octopath Traveler (my beloved)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Star Wars

Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

Persona 4

Zelda (to a point)

Pokémon

What We Do in the Shadows

Sailor Moon

Literally anything historical

Ok!! I tried to add a lot because I’m not sure what you might know or not haha. But thank you again!! I had fun <3

[stardust-flames]

Ok. So I feel the need to get something out there and I don’t really care if anybody reads this or agrees with me.

Let me preface this all with: I love Alex Manes. I think he is a great character that has an interesting story to tell and he is a great foil to all the alien tomfoolery. And I fully appreciate wanting to see more of his story, I also want to see more of it (I could use less of some of the Echo stuff). But I am an adult who can understand that as one of the aliens on the show about aliens, Michael’s stories (and Max & Isabel’s) are likely to have more screen time.

Now , with that out of the way. I don’t get the extreme bias against Michael that a large portion of the fandom seems to have. It’s like everybody forgot that Alex strung him along all of season 1. Alex certainly had reasons to do as he did then (many of them valid) but Michael has his reasons for not being with Alex now. I happen to think that Michael’s reasoning makes more sense. At the end of season 1 Michael had just had a couple of extremely traumatic events happen to him. Michael deciding that he needs to walk away from that complex and historically painful relationship, for now, is more than reasonable, it’s down right healthy. (I have opinions about Miluca that mostly revolve around her being a fairly bad friend to Alex and not a great partner to Michael, but that’s a different post I may or may not write).

From my interpretation of things we can assume Malex was an on/off thing for the last 10 years, with a history of Alex finding reasons to walk away and Michael sometimes working to push him away (you don’t steal the sheriff’s kid’s hubcaps with out expecting consequences). The very 1st morning after scene in S1 would highly suggest Michael was expecting to wake up with Alex having already left, as if that is what normally happens. All of that leads to Michael having become RNM’s “the boy who waited”. Just maybe not patiently or gracefully. And at the end of S1 Alex looks like he’s finally ready to make a real go of it, which is great. But Michael has now become the one who needs time and space. (Some of the negative attitude on this timeline I will put squarely on the writers and their ever present time skips.) But unlike what I saw in the 1st half of S1, Michael actually communicates this with Alex, whereas Alex, Mr. “Sometimes it ends with a whimper”, appears to have previously gone the route of ghosting.

So these two emotionally challenged guys have the classic tropes of mistiming and practically nonexistent communication. The are both trauma and abuse survivors (this is another bug I have with the fandom currently, so many people seem to brush off Michael’s abusive childhood, is it because his abusers don’t get screen time?) with individual and shared trauma. And nobody should be expected to respond or recover from that in any one defined way. They BOTH have a tendency to turn their pain on each other (all those verbal swipes that land below the belt wouldn’t hurt as much coming from someone you don’t love.) But what I have seen in the fandom, particularly recently, is people claiming Michael is being a “dick” to Alex. Now Michael is naturally sarcastic and acerbic (remember that childhood i just mentioned.), but I don’t see him acting like a dick. It is ok for him to “move on”, no one is obligated to return anyone’s feelings. (Of course, I think he hasn’t moved on and he is just trying to convince himself Maria is what he wants/needs.) And Alex is the one who keeps insisting they be friends and “get to know each other”. You can’t be friends if you are expected to never talk about you SO.

Now, completely discounting the 2x06 clusterfuck, I think Michael & Alex are genuinely trying and mostly succeeding at the whole friends w/o benefits thing. Alex is learning how to be himself again (i have thoughts on Forrest too, but for the purpose of this post I’ll just say, i think one of the reasons Alex is drawn to him is because Forrest represents who he wanted to be when he was younger), I hope Michael is learning he is more than the “town drunk” (i hate that they took what was becoming a cool friendship with Maria and turned it into the boring and problematic Miluca, also GIVE MICHAEL GUERIN A FRIEND). I think they are absolutely endgame (or at least should be, but I’ve been around long enough to know showrunners are fucking morons) but I also firmly believe this time apart is necessary and healthy for both of them.

TD;LR - I just wish people would stop shitting on Michael just because he’s not waiting around for scraps anymore. This will be better for them, when they reunite they will know it is what both parties want and they will both be willing to fight to keep it.

Sorry for the long post. I have no idea how to do “Read More”.

[advice-n-help-queen]

How to TRULY move on...

“This is a long post but I have to get it out because it’s been killing me.

Me and my ex had been close friends for almost 3 and a half years. We met our senior year and from that moment on I had a huge crush on him. It wasn’t until the summer before our sophomore year of college that I admitted I had feelings for him. To my surprise he felt the same way. He was bi but that didn’t bother me. We weren’t official till school started but I assumed we were exclusive because of how he felt about me. Two weeks before classes started he told me he had to admit something. While I was away house sitting he had a short fling with a girl from his work. He made out and sent nudes back and forth with her. I was devastated. During his fling he’d visited and acted like everything was ok. It took me till school started to even speak to him. I knew I should have ended things right there but I was a stupid 19 year old girl who finally had a guy who liked me. I told him as long as he cut all contact with the girl I’d forgive him. He said he did so I did. For the next months we were happy. I even told him I thought I was falling in love with him and he said he felt that way too. It wasn’t until November came that I felt the change. He became distant and would leave me on read. I chalked it up to midterm stress. After a week of barely talking or even seeing each other I confronted him. I told him I didn’t understand what was going. He told me it was nothing and led me to think I was over reacting. By Thanksgiving I’d had enough. When we were on the phone I told him I wanted the truth or I was breaking up with him. He again told me I was overreacting and nothing was going on, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to be with someone who cared about me and didn’t gaslight me. I told him I was done and if he couldn’t be honest with me I couldn’t stay around. He didn’t try to stop me or even say anything. I hung up in tears and cried myself to sleep. A few days later he posted a very intimate photo with a male friend of his. My heart broke. The entire time we were in a relationship he was cheating on me with him. The fact that it was a guy didn’t bother me it was the cheating. I didn’t care what gender the other person was all I cared was that he cheated on me. Word spread fast through our friend group that he left me for a guy. They talked about how he only dated me because I wasn’t girly and I was basically a guy with boobs. I avoided all of them for the rest of the semester. I went to class and went home. My depression got worse and I thought very little of myself. Over break I took a lot of time to myself and worked on liking myself again. When school started again my ex wanted to talk. He said him and the guy broke up and he really wanted to be friends again. I told him I couldn’t, he broke my heart and destroyed my self esteem. But he didn’t understand. I walked away and haven’t spoken to him since.

People say I need to forgive and forget. But I can’t. I need advice on how to move on and pursue other relationships and not feel like with everyone it will end like this.”

I’ve been absolutely ITCHING to respond to this. I’m sorry in advance for how long this is going to be lol, but I have a LOT to say.

First, I’d like to say that I appreciate how difficult this has all been for you, especially considering how long he has been in your life. But the quicker the grieving process begins the better and easier it will be for you in the long run. You’re going to cause yourself more hurt by holding onto the past and the memories. He’s shown you who he really is and what he’s really like. Believe him. Don’t make excuses for him. The longer someone has been in our lives, the more inclined we feel to hold onto them and not let go. But as the saying goes, quantity does not always correlate with quality. Yes, he has been around for a long time, but in hindsight has be actually added anything positive to your life? Has he made you happy in all of that time? Has he considered your feelings, and has he ever been concerned about hurting you? NO. Are you better off without him? YES. Which is exactly why today is the day I help you officially be rid of this undeserving ****.

When you first got with him, you weren’t wrong to assume that he felt the same way about you. I mean he gave you the impression that you two were exclusive, right? He made you feel special, confessed his feelings. So, don’t feel regret or blame yourself. I myself have no clue why people are like this. Some people just love to play games, some people are just complete narcissists. They make us fall for them only to go back on their word and hurt us. And it sucks that we get tangled up with these types of people. And it sucks even more that it’s usually the pure-hearted, sincere people that end up in these helpless predicaments.

Just know that you did the right thing by leaving. A guy who genuinely likes you will never ever consider cheating and will never entertain other people, even if this does just include a “harmless flirtatious text”.  I don’t care what anyone says. That’s why I think no one should ever condone or make excuses for someone who cheated on them. And I know it’s easier said than done which is why people forgive and get back together with someone who cheated on them. And I know people have their reasons for doing this. But I believe cheating should signify a definitive end to a relationship. I believe that people who give second chances are doomed to a life of insecurity, regret and negative thoughts that will slowly eat them apart. A relationship without trust is not a relationship at all. I feel even more passionate about this having witnessed a genuine relationship, a relationship full of love, trust and understanding. Now don’t get me wrong, no relationship is perfect. But if your partner shows, not only through their words but their actions too, that they are completely devoted to you then this is more likely to be the person you spend the rest of your life with. 

When someone truly loves you they will  prioritise your well-being and happiness; make sacrifices for the good of the relationship; listen to you; acknowledge their mistakes (big or small) and commit themselves to making things right; make time for you; respect you, and will NEVER make you question their love for you. Also, you will not have to pretend or compromise your identity with this person, they will love you for you. Which sounds cringe I know, but it’s honestly the truth. If a person is not putting in the maximum amount of effort, then they are showing that they don’t care whether they lose you or not and thus are not deserving of you. A guy who likes you will never leave you on read, ignore you, become distant without an explanation. It shows they aren’t thinking about you, do not care about upsetting you and simply do not care. Do not settle for this type of treatment. Never settle for less than what you deserve or sell yourself short. There is someone out there who is desperate to give you what you deserve and treat you the way you should be treated.

You not ending things immediately, despite everything, does not make you stupid. Maybe a little naïve but then I guess I am guilty off the exact same thing. All the warning signs were there but I sub-consciously chose to ignore them. The feeling of being liked and worth someone’s time is so SO addictive. Especially when you’re not used to that type of attention and I guess when you’re a little insecure too (because that annoying, nosy insecurity bitch always likes to get involved).

It takes a really strong person to put an end to things and realise the toxicity of a relationship despite the temporary (fake?} comfort and happiness it provided for us. So guess what? That makes you an extremely strong person even if right now you’re feeling weak and defeated. And that is a key step to moving on. Do not victimise yourself but instead view yourself as a strong individual. After leaving a toxic relationship it is normal for us to blame ourselves. Our instincts are to remember the good times but forget the manipulation, the control and the isolation. Our minds rush to remember the kind words, romantic gestures and the undeniable chemistry you and your partner shared. But this is the same person who left you broken and emotionally traumatised. This is the person who made you feel so much self-doubt, insecurity and loneliness. So I am going to help rewire your brain and help get it back in check. I am going to remind you that you left him for a reason - a reason that is COMPLETELY and UNDENIABLY valid. Never try to compromise your decision or give it a second thought. He treated you like shit. You are a queen yet he treated you like a peasant.

Please please PLEASE get mad with me. Does this not make you mad?! I am mad for you. I am mad for all the people out there who have been mistreated and unjustly disrespected. I am mad at all the people out there who think it’s okay to play mind games and toy with people’s emotions as if they are not human beings. I am just straight up MAD. Please don’t allow yourself to get sad anymore, I’m sure you’ve had your days where you’ve cried and helplessly broken down. And you are completely entitled to these days, we need to get it all out of our system to truly allow the moving on process to begin. But now I just want you to think of him for what he is. A dishonest, manipulative, insensitive piece of ****. This is the motivation you need to allow yourself to move on. You need to reprogram your brain. You are a boss ass bitch. You need to channel that. Rather than spending your time thinking about him, spend that time on yourself. You deserve your time more than anyone else. This is a step that really helped me move on. And I’m still in the process of moving on, so trust me, I’m not going to preach to you like it’s easy, but a start is better than nothing. We can do this together. We’re strangers but gurl I feel so connected to you right now.

You know what you should do? Go to the gym. Work on bettering yourself and making yourself feel good for YOU, not for anyone else. You think someone liking you is an addictive feeling but that has NOTHING on the feeling of self-love and self-appreciation. Nothing is more empowering than that. We don’t need any man to make us feel happy and good about ourselves. Sure it can help add to it. But that’s all it should be. An accesory, not the complete outfit. (Did that make sense? in my head it sounded like poetry but writing it.. i’m not so sure anymore lol). You don’t even have to go to the gym - it’s all about doing things that you genunely want to do and want to dedicate time to. Whether that be yoga, reading a book, going out with friends…

Oh and that’s another thing. That “friend group” of yours is no friend group. You should be around people who uplift you and bring nothing but positivtiy and good vibes. After my break-up I spent the weekend with my best friend, eating an abundance of food that was bad for us and screaming the lyrics to enpowering songs. These are the type of people you need to surround yourself with. Not people who bully you and make you feel bad about yourself after a traumatic experience. Hell, I’m more of a friend to you than them and we don’t even know each other. Girl, talk to me. You don’t need them.

I’m so proud of you for walking away. I tried being “friends” which someone who broke me but it was just impossible. I don’t know how people do it, but it’s just not possible for me. Why burden yourself with the constant reminder of the pain someone caused you with no remorse? The worst thing is, as you said, they just don’t understand. They will accuse you of “over-reacting”, making you feel stupid for feeling the way you feel. I tried talking to my ex just to try and understand why he did what he did, to get some “closure”. But it just ended up doing more harm than good. People claim we need closure in order to move on but I don’t think this is always the case. Sometimes we just have to accept that some people are shit and that they do shit things. It’s not on us, it’s all on them. Why they are so shit is something they have to figure out, not us. You need to rid yourself of him. Delete his number, block him if you have to. Don’t message him. Don’t have any association with him. He’s not worth your time or space. Also posting sexy ass pictures now and then doesn’t hurt either. Show him what he’s missing. Because he really IS missing out.

And I know you fear getting into another relationship because you are worried it’s fated to have the same outcome. But trust me, when you spend time prioritising yourself and when you eventually grow to fully love and appreciate yourself, you’ll attract people who are good for you. You’ll learn to set boundaries and know your worth and NOT tolerate any bullshit. You’ll keep your standards high and will be able to detect the lying, conniving assholes from a mile away. You got this. The same thing won’t happen again because you won’t allow it to happen again. You hear me?

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. You asked for advise on how to move on and I’m sorry the answer hasn’t been so straightforward. I think the important thing is that you constantly remind yourself of how amazing you are and how wrong he was for treating you the way he did. Yes I don’t know you, but what I can tell immediately is that you’re a compassionate, loving and genuine person – someone who a guy will be extremely lucky to have some day.  Also, another important factor is time. You need to give yourself time. Everyone says this but it’s true. Don’t beat yourself up if you occasionally relapse and find yourself broken again, it’s all a part of the process. But just know you WILL get through it. And remember, if you ever need someone to talk to, I can assure you that I am here. <3

I’m also going to make a mini playlist of songs that helped me feel empowered. Something as small as the music you listen to can also play a big part in changing your mood and aiding the moving-on process. BUH-BYE to songs that make us feel sad and nostalgic.

Playlist

·       Lil Boi (Big Talk) [Ayanis ft. Queen Naija]

·       Unlove You [Ann Marie]

·       Heard It All Before [Toni Romiti]

·       B.I.T.C.H [Megan Thee Stallion]

·       Switch Up (Part 2) [Toni Romiti]

·      Who Dis  [Toni Romiti ft. Russ]

·      I Know [Toni Romiti]

·      Need Me [Toni Romiti]

·      Unimpressed [Toni Romiti]

·      Time To Leave [Toni Romiti]

·      Options [Toni Romiti]

·      None Of Your Concern [Jhene Aiko ft. Big Sean]

·      Rebound [Savannah Cristina]

·      Self Care [Savannah Cristina]

·      Self Love [Dreameville, Ari Lennox & Bas ft. Baby Rose)

·      So What [Amaal]

·      Later [Amaal]

·      Just Might [Summer Walker ft. PARTYNEXTDOOR]

·      Not The Same [Sybyr ft. Landfill]

·      Unleash me [Sybyr]

·      I Don’t Like You [Sybyr]

·      No Scrubs [TLC]

·      See Me [Melii]

·      Best Thing I Never Had [Beyonce]

·      Why Don’t You Love me? [Beyonce]

·      Freakum Dress [Beyonce]

·      Irreplaceable [Beyonce]

·      6 Inch [Beyonce ft. The Weeknd]

·      Freedom [Beyonce ft. Kendrick Lamar]

·      Sorry (Original Demo) [Beyonce]

·      I Don’t Fuck With You [Big Sean]

·      Be Careful [Cardi B]

·      Bodak Yellow [Cardi B]

·      I’m Every Woman [Chaka Khan]

·      Deuces [Chris Drown]

·      Handle It [Chris Brown (ft. DeJ Loaf & Lil Yachty]

·      Grass Ain’t Greener [Chris Brown]

·      Cheetah [Chris Brown]

·      Zero [Chris Brown]

·      Level Up [Ciara]

·      Needed me [Rihanna]

·      Wild Thoughts [DJ Khaled ft. Rihanna]

·      Bitch Better Have My Money [Rihanna]

·      Sorry Not Sorry [Demi Lovato]

·      Games [Demi Lovato]

·      Say My Name [Destiny’s Child]

·      Survuvor [Destiny’s Child]

·      Nice For What [Drake]

·      7 rings [Ariana Grande]

·      breathin [Ariana Grande]

·      in my head [Ariana Grande]

·      thank u, next [Ariana Grande]

·      Broke Up With You [Toni Romiti]

·      A Woman’s Worth [Alicia Keys]

·      Right Back [Ar'mon and Trey]

·      2 [H.E.R]

·      U [H.E.R]

·      I Won’t [H.E.R]

·      I Will Survive [Gloria Gaynor]

·      Crooked Smile [J. Cole]

·      Love Yourz [J. Cole]

·      Ain’t Your Mama [Jennifer Lopez]

·      Love Don’t Cose A Thing [Jennifer Lopez]

·      Stronger [Kanye West]

·      I Hate You So Much Right Now [Kelis]

·      Poetic Justice [Kendrick Lamar ft. Drake]

·      Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe [Kendrick Lamar ft. Emeli Sande]

·      Alright [Kendrick Lamar]

·      Leave Me Alone [Michael Jackson]

·      Love Me Right [Moxie Knox]

·      Feeling Myself [Nicki Minaj]

·      Don’t Cha [Nicole Scherzinger]

·      Medicine [Queen Naija]

·      Karma [Queen Naija]

(I know I said a MINI playlist but I couldn’t help myself…)

Also, I’m going to add some youtube videos that helped me a lot. They’ll help remind you that you are, and always will be, a boss ass bitch.

·      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Jo1rSII6vU

·      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTFp8cuBVLk

·      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1SLA7cmeHo

·      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I64AVJKsaWc

·      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dh1W-1Ulgo

·      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUjwVVxW0Mc

·      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMOPCvTM0o8

·      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hcJ9vxn2yY

·      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-NqX-g99jA

@wonderland-delusions

[youcantclipmywings]

Soooo...

TW discussion about my parent’s being racist and classist as well as talking about sex but this is a good news post!!!!

This is kinda an exciting update to write  lol. In my last post, I mentioned the guy who works in my neighborhood’s gatehouse that my friend had claimed was flirting with me. Even though I had initially thought he was just being friendly or flirty because he found my friend attractive, I’m definitely starting to believe he’s completely flirting with me. EXCITING! 

So after that first interaction when my friend was there, we didn’t see each other again for almost 2 weeks because shelter in place. But I had therapy and then was coming home afterwards and I pulled into the gatehouse and he knew my name and was acting genuinely excited to see me. He asked me where I was coming from and I said therapy and he asked me if I wanted to be a therapist and I was like “umm that’s the current plan” and then he was like “well how was it” and I was like “it was good” and then he said “just good...?” and I was like “yeah... I don’t know how else to describe it” and he started laughing and then was like “why are you in therapy” and I said “just to vibe” and he started laughing again and he said “you’re a little crazy, aren’t you?” and I said “yeah definitely” and he was like “me too... I just got out of jail a couple months ago so that’s how crazy I am...” and I just laughed cuz how the fuck am I supposed to respond to that? And then he said “you should stop by more often” and I said “I might just do that” And then he handed me my pass and I drove off. And I called one of my friends and was like “ok he’s definitely flirting but jail??” and so there’s definitely some shit to reflect on in regards to my family (I’ll explain further down).

And then I saw him Easter at night and as I was leaving the neighborhood he leaned out the gatehouse window and waved excitedly and then when I came back we spoke briefly just saying “Happy Easter” because he was just about to get off. 

Then this past Thursday I needed to go to the store so I went to grab stuff and then I drove back and he was so hyped to see me but one of his bosses walked in right after I pulled up so we kept just looking at each other and laughing. And then his manager left as he was handing me my pass and he said “I’m sorry our time go interrupted” and I said “you know at some point, you’re gonna have to tell me your name” because he knows my first and last name and my address and he was like “damn really?” and then we both laughed and then he said “I’m gonna keep it a mystery until next time” and I was like “I’m not gonna be back until Wednesday though” because I’m staying at my dad’s for a bit (no I’m not at risk of infecting anyone because he doesn’t see anyone else and the only other person I see is my mom who also isn’t seeing anyone else) and he was like “then come back later today”. So I got home and was like “hmmmmmm how can I leave for a valid reason” and I guess I manifested that shit because my mom asked me to pick up dinner a couple hours later. 

So I went to pick up dinner then pulled up again and he was like “damn you came back!” really excitedly and I was like “fuck yeah” and he said “why are you out” and I said “to pick up dinner” and he was like “why didn’t you get me anything? All I have to eat is canned chili” and I was like “you should’ve told me earlier!” and we both laughed and then he told me his name and I said “nice to meet you my name is *Edith*” and he was like “oh trust me, I know” and then he said “so where are you going? back to school?” and I was like “I wish but not anytime soon. I’m going to stay at my dad’s.” and he was like “oh where does your dad live” and I said the neighborhood and if you said it quickly I guess it can kinda sound like a dirty combination of words so he was like “where???” and I repeated it, not realizing he misheard it and thinking he was making fun of me for living in a really affluent neighborhood and then he was like “where?????” and I repeated it again much slower and he said “ohhhhhhh” then said it correctly and I then I realized what he thought I had said and was like “omg get your mind out of the gutter” and he was like “now I have a headache after thinking about what I thought you just said so I’m gonna let you go” and I just shook my head and then as I started to drive past “you sexy .....” and I turned around and looked at him with a happy shocked face (prob blushing) and he was laughing with a very proud looking face. 

I think he might be one of the only (maybe the only) guy(s) I’ve ever had a crush on/liked. Like, I really like him. He’s sarcastic, funny, friendly, attractive, honest, etc. I am worried he’s a fuckboy who just wants to fuck and doesn’t actually want some sort of relationship. I know myself and know I can’t lose my virginity to a one night stand. I need someone who’s genuinely kind and patient and willing to guide me through my first (consensual) sexual experiences. He seems kind and caring but I’m worried he won’t be once we can actually spend time together. But what if I’ve actually found a good guy? Unsure but that’s mostly because I have trust issues tee hee

Also, he’s only ever seen me sitting in my car. What if he’s no longer attracted once he sees the fat on my stomach or the fact that I literally have no ass? Yeah, I do have big boobs but that isn’t that big of a deal anymore. Big asses are in and mine is nonexistent. He’s definitely skinner than me.

Anyways, another “issue” is his race/economic class/fact that he’s been in jail. My mom isn’t racist but shes certainly classist and extremely judgmental of those with a record, and my dad is racist, classist, and judgmental of those with a records. He’s definitely black and might be mixed with something else, which I know would make my dad lose his shit without him even knowing the other two “issues” for my parents. I know they won’t be happy that he’s a guard at the gatehouse for my neighborhood because it isn’t a “good” or “impressive” job and they’ll absolutely lose their shit about the fact that he has a record. I think it will be important for me to find out why he was in jail, but I also know that there’s a reason why black men are incarcerated at a significantly higher rate than any other race, even if the same crime is committed. Also, jail means it was a misdemeanor, which is highly likely to be less severe or worrisome. And in regards to his job, I don’t really give a shit. There’s nothing wrong with working as a guard, especially as a young man right after being released from jail (but again I’m not judging anyone who has the job even if they aren’t young and have a record because there’s a need for people to have these jobs and fuck capitalism and also fuck the idea that you’re only worthy of respect if you have a white collar job). I don’t need a man to provide for me EVER. I will be successful doing whatever I do and while I expect my partner to provide for themselves and not rely on me, I would never expect them to pay for me. 

Sorry for the long ass update but this is so exciting and I felt the need to share an actually positive update since they’ve been pretty negative recently!!!! So yay! Please send good vibes my way and if you have any advice in regards to my parents or my fears about his intentions please send them my way because they’re definitely there....

[axther]

🗨️ Hi! Can I please request a Bnha matchup, if it’s not too much to ask. I’m a 5’1 pan female with long hair that fades from red to blonde. I am very curvy/busty and I am very insecure about it, which leads to me shutting myself out from others. I am very soft-spoken, intelligent, and extremely patient. I love to play the ukulele and sing! I really just want someone who can defend me, I have been bullied for most of my life because I am really shy. I’m also an INTJ. Thank you so much!

Let’s get this show on the road babeeyyyy!!!! Finna go off!!!! 

#1 is...Bakugou! 

Okokokok so the aforementioned patience?? 

You’re gonna need a lot of it 

The first time y’all met he probably was going off about the new transfer who was too quiet

And how he wanted to beat the shit out of her to prove his dominance 

And you’re just like ‘ok :|’ 

And bakugou?? 

Scared.exe

Why??? 

This is the first time he can remember in forever that someone didn’t really react negatively to his comments 

Midoriya always had a sort of ‘no kaachan!!’ reaction

Kirishima would tell him it wasn’t manly

And even Todoroki would just tell him that he didn’t stand a chance 

So why did this foreign chick so cool about it??

At first it really pissed him off, but then he realised several things. 

One, you never really tried to defend yourself when people said something that would’ve at least irked anyone else 

Two, you didn’t socialise a whole lot compared to the rest of the class. It was comparable to Tamaki Amajiki in terms a shyness, though you never turned to face a wall. 

Three, you were cute. 

Like, really cute.

like... 

T

Tiddy 

This boy would love it 

He does his best not to show it nor to oogle but 

He really likes your body 

Plus a redhead??? 

Exotic isn’t the right word but here it is 

So you’ve definitely caught his attention

He realises very quickly that bullying you isn’t the solution to gaining your respect

He just sees that it makes you withdraw even more 

So he begins lowkey befriending you 

Now 

His way of going about it kinda sucks 

But he’s trying 

This includes, but is not limited to: 

Going off on Mineta and Kaminari if they comment on your body 

Studying together 

Listening to you play the ukelele

Slowly but surely he realises that regular boy/girl friends don’t have sleepovers at each other’s dorms 

And that he doesn’t smile around everyone else as he does with you 

And that his heart doesn’t jump around when he’s around the others as opposed to being alone with you 

And that his eyes don’t wander the same as when he-

yeah so he realises he has a crush 

And because he’s emotionally constipated, this has him screwed over 

He lays in bed at night, face bright red, thinking about the most scandalous thing ever-premarital holding hands 

He’s whipped 

If you catch him staring at you, he’s spin away and just say that he was looking at something else 

And he has no idea what to do about this 

So he just keeps quiet 

Until one day 

Monoma is talking shit about you and how you’re so shy for someone trying to be a hero

And see now, Bakugou usually just either ignores it or says something sharp and then ignores it. 

But this time? Something in him snaps 

He has no idea what it was, but he spins around and begins ripping Monoma apart, almost literally. 

He’s got him by the neck of his shirt and is howling into his face. 

‘She’s better and stronger then you’ll ever be, you fucking dipshit quirk thief! At least she can rely on herself for her own fights, while you have to whimper and mope around waiting to touch somebody like a fucking pervert! You wish you could be her with how much you talk about her, huh? You know a lot for someone who’s supposed to hate her! Back the fuck off of my girl!” 

And the hall drops silent. 

Everyone’s side-eyeing everyone, there’s a confused silence, Monoma’s eye is twitching while he slowly turns blue, before Bakugou realises what he said. 

‘I fucking said what I said, assholes! She’s my fucking girl!’ 

Takes your hand and runs all the way back to his dorm 

There he turns and looks down at the ground, trying to find the words he wants to say because this was not how he wanted you to find out, if at all 

He hates being so blushy and nervous and he feels like a schoolgirl and he wants to blow it to oblivion 

But he glances up and sees the heavy blush on your face and his heart just goes 🥴

‘I..’

He hesitates, before clenching his fists and spewing it out without looking at you in the eyes. 

‘I fucking love you.’ 

#2 is...Kirishima! 

Now 

He’s very very extroverted 

We all know this 

And he wants to be friends with everyone in the class

So when he notices that you don’t really talk to people, he’s all over it!! 

Before you know it, he’s tagging along with you to places and he’s talking about a new restaurant and if maybe you would want to go 

And let’s be honest 

The boy knows he has a crush on you since day one 

He sees this beauty walk through the door and he just goes ‘😳🤔🥴🤔’ 

So there’s that going for him

He’s surprisingly good at hiding his crush?? 

He always acts super chill and sweet with everyone so you don’t suspect a thing 

Until one day you’re talking with Mina and she’s like ‘I tried asking Kiri if he wanted to go see Killer Slayer 300 Part 7 but he said he already had a date to see it with someone!’ 

And you’re like ‘...it’s me. I’m the date. I’m the DATE????’ 

And then the secret’s out 

Mina spills it to EVERYONE and the boy is so embarrassed

He feels really bad like was tricking you or something and he starts trying to avoiding you 

And I am so sorry 

But you have to make a move 

He will think forever that he was emotionally...deceitful??? Something along those lines.  

Like he didn’t want you to think that he was one-sidedly dating you 

So when you hunt him down this means several things

One, that you had enough initiative to talk to him despite being so shy, so that already tells him that you really want to talk about this 

Two, that you really did like him

And three, that nonetheless, you wanted to see him 

This makes his heart ‘!!’ and through the entire talk he’s got a blush and he’s trying to avoid saying outright that he loves you in case it derails the entire conversation

So when you talk the leap and say it first, he fucking SHOUTS it. 

‘What?! For real?! I love so so much babe!!!’ 

#3 is...Momo!

Big tiddy gang 

There was an unspoken allegiance the first time you two met eyes 

And instantly you two are hangin out 😤

Every night is spent in each other’s dorms, just vibing and talking about life 

Momo needs that kind of casual support, and oh boy is she getting it 

And you are getting a kinship with a fellow intellectual lady!! 

You two are super patient together, and if anyone has a problem, the momo-y/n gang has got them 

You become a mom figure despite being so shy, because momo does her best to help you out of your shell 

And naturally 

You guys formed an anti mineta union 🙅🏻‍♀️

He said one (1) word about your boobages and Momo, for the first time in her life, genuinely went OFF 

‘That is so disrespectful! How do you intend to become a hero if you always harass women? If we wanted to, all of us girls could have you expelled and even potentially sent to jail! If you do not stop this behaviour towards Y/N, then I will have a word with not only Aizawa-san, but also with Principal Nezu!’ 

Everyone, much like Bakugou going off, is shook but on a much greater scale. 

Momo?? Capable of rage on this level?? 

Impossible 

Mineta is cowering, and while he thinks it’s also kinda hot, he is also very aware that his entire existence is on the line 

You’re watching Momo with shock, but also a mix of blushy embarrassment, pride, and ‘oh god that’s my wife’ 

Later that night while you two are chilling in Momo’s dorm, she looks over and tells you, very quietly

‘I think I’m in love with you.’ 

You look over with a soft, shy smile. 

‘I think I love you, too.’ 

@shslpotato

[wxldchxld]

So again, this isn’t the blog for this, and I should really just make a personal where I complain about everything, but I’m going to do it here anyway. If you don’t want to read this, don’t look under the cut.

I haven’t been private about just how much I feel like His Dark Materials fails anyone who has done more than read the books once when they were a kid. I have a very long standing love affair with the original His Dark Materials trilogy, because I grew up in an extremely restrictive religious household and didn’t get to experience them as a child. I have read the entire series through every December for several years now, and each time I read it I love it a little more. I feel like The Golden Compass/The Northern Lights especially is one of the greatest children’s stories I’ve ever read. It’s simple, it’s clean, it’s filled with dynamic and interesting characters, and everything in it serves a purpose. 

And I have a lot to say on the way the show treated Lyra as a character and how they made her little more than a prop in her own story, and how that makes the story really boring to sit through, but I’m going to put that on the back burner for now. Because I don’t feel like anyone is noticing the kind of casual sexism that this show is really guilty of, and I think we should be.

This is a pretty negative look at the show so i don’t want anyone bitching at me saying why watch it if you don’t like it. Take that logic and apply it here. If you don’t want to listen to genuine critique, don’t read this.

I’ve said before that Mrs. Coulter is probably one of my first “bad older woman I shouldn’t love but do” characters. My first read through of the books was when I was in my early twenties and kind of coming out to myself. I had spent years denying the fact I was a lesbian all the while secretly hating myself for being unable to force myself to like men. Mrs. Coulter came about in my life at a time when I was learning to let go of my self hatred and accept who I am. Yes, Pullman intentionally put her in there to be someone the reader is infatuated with. He wanted her to be beautiful and intoxicating and dangerous, and she was, but it hit me on an even deeper level than that. Because I identified with her. Not because I spent my time casually abusing children, but because I always felt like she was a victim of the system she was born into. A system that devalued her as a woman. A system where her ambition was demonized and looked down on. One that led to a loveless marriage, a heated affair with a bad man, a shameful fall out, and the loss of her child. Her violence, her cruelty and calculation, isn’t just a character trait, it’s a symptom of the Magesterium’s oppression. 

I feel like the show attempted to highlight this, and I honestly go back and forth on whether or not it’s a good thing. We get scenes like the one where she’s talking about heights with Lyra, and the haunted way she looks into the distance and says she’s always wanted to jump. We see how she can separate from her daemon and how often when one of them is vulnerable, the other purposefully pulls away from them (something that did not happen at all in the books). She’s portrayed as a traumatized, mentally ill woman. And it’s both beautiful and---kind of cringy seeing my personal view of her be so plainly portrayed on the screen. 

You see the problem I have with this is that no matter how deeply I sympathize with Mrs. Coulter as someone who struggles with a mental illness myself, she abuses children. She is the quintessential abused becomes the abuser trope, and if this is true, I have to ask myself how much can we really hate her? Is it ok, especially in our current social climate, to portray a mentally ill woman as a villain? To what degree is it ok to blame a victim of trauma for traumatizing others? There’s no easy answer to that question and I think that’s why Pullman left the reader to decide for themselves how much of a victim vs villain Mrs Coulter was.

I don’t mind asking and engaging with these questions, especially since I feel like the show was geared toward and older audience destined to ask them anyway. However I want to take a hard turn now and look at Lord Asriel. Because the problem I have is not, in essence, with how the show portrays either character on their own, but in how it portrays Asriel in contrast to Marisa.

I always kind of felt like Asriel was a character that Pullman didn’t really give a shit about. Maybe he did and I just missed it, but just in the way he talks about other characters verses Asriel---Idk.

Asriel is Marisa Coulter’s opposite. In the context of the first book, they’re both villains but at opposite ends of the spectrum. He’s a straight, white, noble, manly-man who is also a genius. It’s not a hard leap to assume that he wouldn’t have gotten half as far in life without the social privileges he got from all of those things. Asriel was never really someone I could sympathize with because he was always an example of just how differently the system treats straight white men, even when they disagree with them. Despite being a blatant heretic, a convicted killer, and a disgraced nobleman, he’s still seen as powerful and someone to be respected. Colleges fund his research, he still has a personal servant, and even as a literal prisoner, he’s allowed to do whatever he wants. Unlike Marisa, he hasn’t had to carve out a position for himself in the world. It’s already there. 

He is the epitome of privilege---and in the books he acts like it. Asriel is cold, selfish, intimidating, and abusive. The only sympathetic moment he has in the first book is when he shows open terror upon seeing Lyra coming to his workshop in the north. He’s scared only because he doesn’t want to kill his daughter, and personally I think he was only so terrified because he knew that if she stayed he would do it. Once he finds out Roger is with Lyra, he immediately goes back to not giving a shit about her.

Book Asriel is never sorry for how he treats his daughter and at the end of The Golden Compass/Northern Lights he not only blatantly doesn’t care about what will happen to Lyra if he leaves her behind, he tells Marisa that she shouldn’t care either. He tells her that Lyra hates her and that she’s squandered the two chances she had to be with their child. Right up to the very last pages of the novel he just---doesn’t care. 

Asriel in the show is, to put it simply, is toned down. He isn’t so much of a blatant asshole. When Lyra talks, he doesn’t immediately dismiss her or dominate the entire conversation. It’s very subtle in the way they change him. His threats don’t hold a lot of weight, his body language doesn’t ooze with intimidation and power, and when he talks to Lyra he shows clear emotion. He softens and listens to her, even if he doesn’t change his position. This comes off as portraying him as a man who is more compassionate than he really is, and who is, perhaps, even regretful that he must kill Roger. They completely cut the scene where there is a violent fight between Pan, Salcilia, and Stelmaria that results in Lyra falling down a snow drift and Asriel just----not responding. He turns around and walks into the light without mentioning that she, for all he knows, just fell to her death. He’s not sad or concerned. And while I’m sure they likely omitted this scene for budgetary reasons, it has a big impact on his character. He didn’t leave Lyra to her death; he instructed his man servant to care for her and help her escape.

So what am I really trying to say in all this? What’s the point? Is it so bad that we’re giving characters more depth than a children’s novel allowed them to have? Well... yeah. Because of the way they chose to do it.

They chose to make Marisa more damaged, but they also made her much more violent. They turned up the things that made her bad and scary while toning down Asriel’s worse qualities so much that he kind of feels like a victim, which is a gross when his character is meant to be the epitome of cis white straight privilege.

[spell406]

So, a friend of mine basically forced me to watch at least one episode of Netflix Castlevania.

(Disc - I am new to tumblr and had a little problems with posting this thing correctly. Sorry for spam)

So I watched one. And then another. And another… When I finished it was 3 a.m., my eyes were burned out, my brain fried, and my soul forever forfeited, but whatever, who need it anyway.

I am new to the universe, and I know that I am something like 10 months late to the review party, so instead I decided to just share a bunch of thoughts of mine. [UPDATE – Because I am extremely heavy procrastinator and it took me almost two weeks to write this thing I am already at 50% of SoTN right now I’ve finished SoTN by now]

First of all – Castlevania looks like anime, but shares almost nothing common with it. It was a relief, to be honest, as I was a little afraid of show being just another shounen with specific set of clichés and similarities that might quite not bad (or even enjoyable), but I’ve seen them too many times before – better or worse executed – to watch without a mild nausea another Bleach/Naruto in a darker scenario.

I would never demand a fantasy world to be realistic. Like, who would do, fantasy world is supposed to be… fantasy, right? I am fine with lack of realism but I can’t say the same about lack of common sense, and there is a matter of logic that I personally find quite funny. When you are about to fight in close quarters with someone, with both of you lives on stake you’ll want to use every possible advantage. In general there are two kinds of battle armors – first one is focused on providing maximum protection (like typical medieval plate armor) and second one designed to grant freedom of movement especially critical in usually legwork-heavy duels. And here are our “battle” priests in gowns. Gowns, that manage to provide neither aforementioned advantage and downsides of both. Heh. It just bothers me too much, honestly.

I really love the flow of narration; the way that every character including antagonists has its own set of motives and reasons, even Carmilla has her own background that is convicting to justify her bitchery (Well, she has seen it before, right? And Dracula wasn’t even trying to hide his apathy, so why would she like to watch as dead man wages his hollow war)(Is it only me or Dracula shows typical signs of severe depression? Apathy, lack of strength to take any decision, not taking care of himself, loss of interest – even in his own war – well, to be honest he has a good reason to do so).

Animations. Ah, that one is unquestionably excellent, although you Powerhouse Animation guys could have make use of an additional 4-5 fps – from time to time I had a feeling that there is a cat sitting on my keyboard’s space bar, pausing and starting show over and over - it happened something like two or three times. If it comes to favorite scenes – for me, it would be first meeting and fight between Trevor and Alucard. The dialogue and music is so good at reflecting rising pressure and tension between those two – let put oneself in Trevor’s boots – just day before he was rather concerned about getting some food/drink and move on and now he is standing against something that he now considers to be last boss of his life, or perhaps not, he doesn’t even know how does Dracula looks like and he doesn’t seem to be openly aggressive, or perhaps yes, he is obviously vampire and he seems to doesn’t like Belmont name, on the other hand even lesser vampire might be not so easy foe and he is kinda out of practice, and Sypha doesn’t feel like helping out, at least for now… It is all just perfect, and the sound track alone is stuff of legends. (Season 2 OST on Spotify WHEN??”)

Second best would be first phase of Dracula fight – the way which they are team working fluently to not let eachother get killed pleases my inner maniac in best possible way, although the 1 vs 1 part is kinda downgrade - but still ok.

But there is one thing that really stands out in best possible way from things I’ve seen before and that’s utilization of facial expression and body language. Like seriously, this combined with really outstanding voice acting bring interactions between characters to another damned level. (Unfortunately, national translation and voice acting is so awful that I couldn’t bear myself to finish even first season). There are few thing I consider more important in creating credible character than combining overall expressiveness and voice acting, the ability to tell words without actually using any (Finding Ciri cinematic in Witcher 3 is perhaps best known to me example) - and Castlevania does it just soooo good.

Dracula generals. When they were shown for the first time I was like “oh boy he has summoned generals, (Generals! Master tactician, the artists of war!) the oldest, most cunning and powerful beasts from entire world, now things are going to get rough.” And how did it turned out? I can understand that Dracula tasked his forge masters with overseeing the war (Although his reasoning was kind of ok, good job Dracula for nominating for executives two people, that knew least about proceeding war) Did they were incompetent so much? Then how did they managed to get their titles, if they were just a bunch of endlessly whining mischief-makers? They were supposed to know how war looks like, and how to do one, but instead they did literally nothing for war effort! If you ask me, that is at least one risen eyebrow. Excluding Godbrand, the only member of council that did anything more than grate his teeth in silent anger, killed some civilians and got taken care of quite effortlessly. Also, Godbrand wasn’t made to be the sharpest knife in a closet, but he still was bright enough to ask himself “What will we do when we’ll win a war?” Also, he managed to notice that there were no real plan to follow... That is +1 to you Godbrand, I’ll miss you my vikingy boi. In the end, if they were meant to be just a background, they did get a little too much of screen time, and if they were not, they got faaaaaar from enough of it.

By the way – not sure if it’s only me but I personally think that Trevor might be keenest (or – at least – not dumbest) of protagonist trio. He might lack classic education, but he is careful watcher (he noticed fresh oil in torch and overall state of Alucard’s hideout), he correctly chosen and quite successfully executed strategy at Gresit square (isolate, divide and destroy) and quite steadfastly shrugged  off Alucard bickering (well, most of times). Also, his plan for battle with vampire generals was quite logical – avoid close quarter cause humans are in general more fragile than vampires, and Alucard as frontline. My inner maniac was most pleased.

As I said before, I really enjoy Castlevania’s overall character design but with an exception of bishop of Gresit. There is no reason for his work, I know that he is insane and reasoning usually does not apply to those like him but I feel like there is no reason in villainy (this entire talking about making a God’s own country – well, I don’t buy it), aside of being genuinely baaaaad, which kinda stands out in negative way in comparison to the rest of characters.

To highlight the issue, lets do some roleplaying here:

The night creatures are ravaging the land that you had sworn to protect in unholy war against humanity, killing women, men even your subordinates alike. The citizens are growing restless, and demand taking an action. How do you proceed?

a) Find the last descendant of family known for their prowess in fighting those beasts; but be wary – he doesn’t seem to like you very much after you branded him as heretic, exterminated his entire family and burned down his home (probably with some of aforementioned family still inside it). However, if you nicely ask for help, reverse the curse, apology for making mistake and return the estate it actually might work. (to be honest that could be quite interesting moral choice for Trevor, to help people of Wallachia and let bishop take all glory or decline the bishop proposition and screw people over in the process)

b) You can fight them, you are the Holy Church after all. You have access to unlimited supply of holy water, relics, you have enough money and authority to arm and train people’s militia properly. Your knowledge of those beasts might be as wide as Belmont family, but at least should be sufficient to minimalize the damage. Killing the Dracula, however, might be impossible for you.

c) You spent most of your time on biting, trashing, or looking for anyone to cast entire blame upon; it doesn’t matter who is that poor bastard as long as it is not you. In addition, you…

AAAAARGH I CAN’T CONTAIN MYSELF ANY LONGER! BROTHER, I DON’T FEEL LIKE I AM   WICKED ENOUGH! I REQUIRE TO SEE SOME SUFFERING OF INNOCENT TO FEAST UPON! WHAT DO YOU SAY, BROTHER? I CANT HEAR YOU OVER RAGE BOILING IN MY VEINS! WHAT, SPEAKERS? OF COURSE THEY WILL DO RAAAAAARRGARGAJGIOGJIHKBYIUOL

Oh well.

Well, looks like I am done here. By the way, sorry for my English, I am not a native speaker (If I’ve commited any spectacular crime against vocabulary/grammar let me know on priv).

Now I’m going back to rewatching show and torturing SoTN

No TL:DR, just read it if you want, it is not an entire book, you know.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: The Real Housewives of Storybrooke (11/?)

A fic based on this premise here, following the lives of Storybrooke’s elite wives, with all the scandal, bitching and backstabbing that goes on behind the scenes of high society…

This verse is open for prompts!

====

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten] [AO3]

====

REGINA

Regina would admit that however hopeless she was feeling at the prospect of her forthcoming meeting (well, meeting was the polite term for it, Regina was privately thinking of it as a battle to the death), the sight of her family outside the town hall buoyed her up considerably.

Robin, Tilly and Robyn had been standing outside the building since seven o’clock in the morning, waving banners reading ‘Save Storybrooke’s Green Spaces’ and accosting passers-by with leaflets that Tilly had spent all of the previous day photocopying whilst Robyn researched local environmental protection laws. Regina had no idea how successful they would be in recruiting people to their cause, but she couldn’t fault their enthusiasm. Tilly even had a megaphone, although Regina had no idea where she’d got it from.

“Hi Aunt Gina!” Robyn waved her over. “I know we don’t look too impressive at the moment, but Marian said she’d be along soon and David Nolan’s coming too. He’s bringing Emma and Bae. Or maybe they’re bringing him.”

“Well, however many of you there are, I just hope it makes a difference,” Regina said. “I really do appreciate all your efforts.”

She didn’t want to sound too pessimistic, especially after they’d been to so much trouble, but at the same time, the chances of being able to stop Belfrey in their tracks were extremely slim. Most of the paperwork was already underway.

“It’ll be ok.” Robin came over and put an arm around her. “You know that whatever happens, we believe in you completely.”

“I know, and I am grateful for that, but all the belief in the world isn’t going to help if I can’t get this development blocked.”

“Well, if the worst comes to the worst then we can always fall back on Mary Margaret’s plan to save us all with sheer audacity.” Robin smiled. “Go on. You can at least buy her some time to yell at her board.”

Regina nodded. “You’re right; I should be focussing on that. I’ve spent so long thinking that this is a fight I’m having alone.”

“You’ve done a lot of things on your own in your life, but you can rely on others, you know. When we say that we believe in you and we’re here for you, that’s what we mean.”

Robin kissed her cheek, and Regina twisted so that she could plant one full on his lips instead.

“Easy tiger.” He chuckled. “Now, go and do what you do best.”

Regina steeled herself and entered the town hall. Fiona Ebony and Victoria Belfrey were both already there in the large meeting room, plans and artists’ impressions spread out over the table in front of them.

“Ah, Regina, I’m so glad that you could join us.” Fiona’s voice was honey sweet, and Regina just raised an eyebrow as she took her seat. She had been working with Fiona for far too long to fall for any of her tricks.

Victoria launched into her prepared spiel, and Regina let her speak for a while before interrupting.

“Don’t you think it’s slightly premature to be making these plans now? I mean, the bidding window for the land still hasn’t closed; we’re all talking about this like it’s a done deal already.”

“Regina, dear, I really think that if anyone else was going to make a bid for the land, then they would have done it already.”

“Not necessarily. Last minute bids are often the most successful; ask any auctioneer.”

“Really…” Fiona was cut off by a screech of static from outside the building and Tilly’s voice yelling into her megaphone.

“Save Storybrooke’s green spaces! No new housing developments!”

Regina tried and failed to hide her smile as Fiona got up and went over to the window, opening it and yelling at the protestors outside. It had very little impact, not even when she threatened to call the sheriff. Graham had always been sympathetic to the cause and would likely just join them.

Accepting that she wasn’t going to get anywhere, Fiona returned to her seat and the conversation resumed, punctuated occasionally by Tilly’s shouting.

Regina sat back in her chair. Neither of the other women were listening to her, so she might as well bide her time and not waste her breath. One thing that she had learned about local politics throughout all her years in it was that you had to pick your moments, and right now wasn’t one of them. At least Tilly and the others were setting Victoria’s teeth on edge.

There was a timid knock on the door and Astrid, Fiona’s secretary, popped her head round.

“I’m very sorry to disturb you, Ms Ebony, but I have Sidney Glass from the Blanchard Group on the phone about the land bid.”

“What?” Fiona looked over at Regina. “Did you know about this?”

Regina just smiled benignly. “I did say that it was a little premature.”

Fiona huffed and turned to Astrid. “Tell him I’m busy.”

Astrid nodded and left the room.

Five minutes later, she was back.

“Erm, Ms Ebony, I have Mary Margaret Blanchard from the Blanchard Group on the phone. I told her you were busy but she’s not taking no for an answer. Every time I hang up she calls back.”

Fiona heaved a huge sigh and left the room to take the call. Victoria Belfrey was glaring daggers at Regina, but she just smiled, immune to Victoria’s rage.

Mary Margaret had come through.  

BELLE

For the first time since she had begun actively trying to get pregnant, Belle suddenly had no desire to take a pregnancy test. She was feeling faintly nauseous at the prospect and she couldn’t tell whether it was out of anxiety, psychosomatic as a result of her other symptoms, or genuine morning sickness.

She paced up and down the bedroom, tapping the box against her hand. Mrs Potts was sitting on the end of the bed, knitting. Belle had called her up from the kitchen a moment of indecision so strong that she needed someone to work through it with her, and since Cameron was out of town with Mary Margaret trying to hash out the spectre of Belfrey Developments on the horizon, Mrs Potts was really her only option. She’d spent half an hour regaling the housekeeper with all her pent-up fears and frustrations, with the result that she now had nothing left to say and she really needed to pee.

She was late. She’d left it a week to make absolutely sure, but her period had shown no signs of arriving. If she was to take a test now and it was negative, Belle didn’t know what she would do, apart from cry her eyes out.

“Love, I think it might be best just to get it over with,” Mrs Potts said gently. “You’re going to have to bite the bullet sooner or later. Whatever happens, I’m right here for you.”

Belle nodded and went into the bathroom, feeling sicker than ever. The wait for the result was agonising, and when the timer on her phone went off, she couldn’t bring herself to turn the thing over, handing it to Mrs Potts instead.

“Oh Belle.” She felt Mrs Potts’ arms come around her. “Oh Belle, love.”

Belle closed her eyes. “I can’t tell if this is commiseration or celebration, Mrs P.”

“You’re going to have a baby, Belle.”

Belle’s eyes shot open and she looked at the pregnancy test that Mrs Potts was holding up in front of her face. Pregnant.

For a long time, she couldn’t say anything. After so long trying, it hardly seemed real that it had finally happened.

Embarrassingly, her first reaction was to let out a noise that could have been anything from a squeak to an outright scream, and then to burst into tears, and then to throw her arms around Mrs Potts whilst she sobbed snottily against the housekeeper’s shoulder.

“It’s all right, love,” Mrs Potts soothed. “Let it all out. I know how much this has been praying on your mind. You need the relief now, so just let it go. Everything’s all right.”

Belle didn’t know how long she stayed in her turmoil of emotions, everything from excitement to disbelief to fear that it was all a dream and back again, but finally, she had cried herself dry, and she realised that she was sitting in a sea of paper hankies whilst Mrs Potts rubbed her back.

“I bet you feel better after that now, don’t you?”

Belle nodded.

“Oh, Mrs Potts. I don’t even know why I’m crying. I’m so happy!”

Mrs Potts just smiled and patted her cheek. “I hope that everything goes smoothly, and you have the very best experience you could hope for.”

“Right now, I don’t care if I have the most horrific pregnancy ever, as long as I have a healthy baby at the end of it.” Belle’s hands came to her abdomen. “It’s really happening. I can’t believe it.”

Mrs Potts left her alone with her thoughts, and Belle fell to pacing up and down the bedroom, having cleared all the tissues off the blankets. She was desperate to let Cameron know as soon as possible, but she knew that he was in the middle of something important and she didn’t want to distract him. Besides, she would far rather tell him in person. She didn’t even know how she would word it, so being able to just hand him the pregnancy test would be the easiest way.

The wait for him to come home was agonising but made less so by Bae’s arrival home – Tilly had gone out with Robyn. His tales of their small but nonetheless exuberant protest outside the town hall kept her amused until she heard Cameron’s key in the lock, but even Bae could tell that she was abstracted, and he slipped away quietly as his father entered the living room. Whether he had guessed her secret or not, Belle didn’t know, but he knew how much she wanted a baby, and he’d always been shrewd beyond his years.

“How did it go?” she asked, trying to keep her tone nonchalant. If it had been a terrible day, then maybe he wouldn’t be quite as receptive to her news as he might otherwise have been. On the other hand, it might be welcome good news to him that would be a bright point.

“Good.” Cameron smiled and came over to kiss her. “I think that we’ve got everything sorted out. Of course, there are many more legal complications and loopholes to go through, and I won’t be entirely convinced that Belfrey won’t do something to pull the rug out from under our feet until everything is signed and sealed, and the land is in Mary Margaret’s hands, but we’ve certainly got started. We have a horse in the race now.”

He paused, tilting his head on one side as he looked at her. “Are you all right? You seem pensive.”

Belle shook her head. “No, I’m not pensive. Just excited. I’ve been waiting for you to come home.”

Cameron raised an eyebrow. “Oh yes? And what’s made you so very eager to see me?”

“It worked.”

“Pardon? What worked?”

“Stopping thinking about making a baby and just focussing on enjoying each other’s company.” Belle took a deep breath and pulled the pregnancy test out of her skirt pocket, handing it to him. “It worked.”

“Oh Belle…” Cameron was rendered speechless for a good couple of minutes before he finally tore his gaze away from the single word on the display and looked up at her. His eyes were shining, and Belle thought that she might well burst into tears of her own again. “Oh, my beautiful Belle. This is the most wonderful news.”

He pulled her in close, burying his face in her hair, and Belle closed her eyes, feeling warm happiness flood through her veins. Everything was well.