#sorry this was so long i just wanted you guys to understand the exact details of why im asking for money

[fadewalking]

I think my lizard is going to die :(

Hey guys, my pet lizard is pretty sick, and I cannot afford to take her to a vet because my dog has also recently been sick and all of my money has gone to his vet bills. My dog is fine for right now, but the lizard is not.

She is open mouth breathing (really bad sign), has been refusing food, and thus has lost weight. I suspect she has a respiratory infection. If I were to be able to take her to a vet, I believe they would prescribe her Baytril (antibiotic to fight the infection) and Critical Care to increase her weight, and maybe also something special to soak her in rather than just warm water, just to help keep her hydrated as she is also looking dehydrated. With all of this, I imagine I would be looking at a bill of around $150-$200, or maybe even a little bit more, which i simply do not have right now, especially since I cannot work for the next 4 weeks.

I really don't want to lose her. So I am asking for money to take her to a vet. If I can raise at least $150-$175, I can find a way to cover the rest if it ends up being a bit more than that.

I started a fundraiser on paypal, so if y'all could please consider helping her, or sharing/boosting this post, I would really appreciate it. https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8Rv9LhIQz9

In the meantime, my plan for her care is twice daily soaks in warm water to keep her hydrated, keeping her in a smaller quarantine tank so I can easily monitor her health as right now she is in a larger one with a mate. She might be eating, but i can't really tell since the other one may be the one getting the food, but I've just moved her to the smaller tank, so I will try to give her some food. If she doesn't eat over the weekend, I have some liquid meal that I can syringe feed to her, but she hates being handled like that. But keeping her fed and hydrated is really all I can do to help make her more comfortable while she tries to fight the infection. There is nothing I can do for her respiratory infection without medical treatment. If any reptile owners out there have any advice for me, i'd appreciate it.

This is her:

[eli0004]

Long Distance with the AoT Men

Contains: Eren, Jean, Armin, Connie, Levi

Synopsis: what is it like to be in a long distance relationship with the AoT boys? Let’s find out 👇

Warnings: none really, pure fluff, gn!reader

Eren Yeager wants to sleep on FaceTime. Every. Single. Night. If you try to hang up he will sulk so bad, it’s ridiculous. He looks so insanely gorgeous when he’s sleeping though, so you wouldn’t dare complain. Eren has a whole goodnight routine too. You say you love him, he says he loves you more, and bitch you better say you love him most, or else. Eren is not the Eren he is in public when he’s sleepy and missing you from miles away. There’s a certain longing in his voice when he talks about your future together, when you talk about your plans to move in together and get to lay in each other’s arms. Sometimes he thinks about just quitting school, packing his shit and booking a one way flight to your city, but he knows how important it is to you that you’re both secure and ready for a move like that. Until then, he’ll save every penny and he’ll look forward to every opportunity to visit you.

Jean Kirstein watches movies with you. Jean is the type of guy that: A. Can’t sit still and do nothing, and B. Has probably seen every movie that exists in the world. He loves FaceTime dates where the two of you stream a movie together. Absolutely will go old school with it and start a movie at the exact same time, making sure to count down from three if there’s an interruption so you can pause at the same time too. Believes it’s mandatory to have pizza for a movie date. Always Orders himself pizza, and will door dash one to your place too😭 Mans looks so soft and comfy in bed, all clad in a warm hoodie, hood up, chewing on the strings. You can see the light from the screen flashing, illuminating his sleepy face. It’s those moments when the distance aches a little more, missing the feeling of being there snuggled up against his warm chest.

Armin Arlert just wants to lay there and look at you. If you’re gonna be in a long distance relationship with Armin, you must understand that he is a highly emotional, sappy, clingy guy. When his days are busy and his schedule is packed and he finds himself talking to you less, when you finally do have an hour or so to really sit and talk about things, those are the days when Armin struggles extra hard with long distance, and needs a lot of reassurance that you’re still happy with him, even though he can’t be there with you, especially when he knows there are plenty of other people who could be. More than likely, he spends a lot of your calls shedding intermittent tears, expressing his desire to snuggle up with you every time the thought crosses his mind. When he starts to get sleepy, his eyes droop and he lays his head on his pillow. He’s looking over every feature on your face, making sure to etch every minute detail into his memory for when he’s missing you the next day. He’ll fall asleep, doing just that.

Connie Springer just carries you around everywhere on FaceTime. He’ll go into the grocery store with you in his pocket, talking to you through his AirPods about what flavor of instant ramen he should buy. He sets you up on the counter while he cooks said ramen, so you can watch his chaotic ass burn a cup of noodles. Like eren, Connie probably wants to sleep on FaceTime, but he never remembers to put his phone on the charger so it dies at like 2 in the morning, and he’ll CALL YOU BACK just to be like “sorry babe, goodnight, i love you *snores*”. When Connie is in public, if you crack a joke while you’re in his pocket and he’s wearing his AirPods, he’ll laugh out loud, and you get the pleasure of overhearing people ask him what the fuck is so funny like they’re concerned for his mental health 😭 and he’ll play into that shit too, just to keep hearing your laugh.

Levi Ackerman doesn’t know how to just say he’s missing you, so he’ll call you periodically to ask what you’re doing and then just listen to you breathe for about 20 seconds on the other line after you answer. He visits you every weekend, even if you’re hours away, he will take public transportation for you if he has to, and that’s saying something because he knows how filthy those buses/trains are. Once every few months he’ll take a whole week off to come stay with you, and he’ll probably try to straighten up around your place, pick up your groceries, cook dinner for you, water your plants, in your own home 😭. Literally morphes into your lil househusband for the week, and you have to be like No? Go sit down you’re literally my guest. Distance doesn’t mean shit to Levi. Where there’s a will there’s a way, he believes. The definition of “if he wants to he will” because he will. Every time.

[luffyvace]

HIHIHIHI TYSM FOR DOING MY REQUEST ^U^ I hope u Don't mind me dropping another one u :'))

Can I have kusuo reaction to Reader-chan being mostly know for her gore/angst/horror series but looks like nothing for a person to write this stuff (she looks absolutely innocent) yet having a (technically an old man) friend who is also anonymous writer for one of kusuo favorite series yet the said look absolutely opposite of it (the reader-chan and her friend are like Junji Ito and hayao miyazaki)

I'm sorry if u couldn't understand the request:')) my English isn't really the best-

HII DARLING! No problem at all! Of course I don’t mind! Request at any time as long as they say open <3

ohhh so she’s a horror writer :> OHHH I was confused at first but as soon as I searched them up and saw the memes I understood 😂💓

This is such a cute and funny topic! Enjoy your hcs anon 💖 ⚠️ Gore mentions⚠️

Kusuo isn’t easily scared.

there are very few things that actually do scare him, considering he can sense everything coming from a mile away

But shows and books are an exception (given he doesn’t stare at the pages to see through the book-)

he’s not normally into horror but your manga is actually very interesting to him!

seeing a bunch of mutilated corpses packed together is quite a gripping sight for him!

and honestly he is obbsessed likes normalcy but your case is a type of unique he doesn’t mind :)

it’s funny since you have this friendly and kind personality and your work is the exact opposite of that 🤗

it’s giving the cute core girlies!! (and guys!! <3) 💓💗💖🌸🌷💞🎀

he still gets the perk of reading the chapter before publish and giving small ideas for stuff

You once put his favorite character from another series in one of the manga panels and he when he noticed it he had a little smile on his face! 💗

he wasn’t excpecting you to do that at all and it was a pleasant surprise ;3

your introduced him to your friend and he also likes his work now!

Y’all are literal polar opposites- and ngl? He enjoys the balance!

like when he wants some exhilarating and goosebump-giving action he’ll pick up one of your mangas’

and when he’s feeling mellow while eating some coffee jelly on his bed his new (second) favorite author to read from is your friend!

His number one author is of course you ♥︎

would recommend his friends (specifically Kaido) one of your mangas to freak them out

they definitely won’t be expecting it seeing as though your such a cheerful person! 🌸🎀🌷

I feel like Torisuka would genuinely enjoy your manga as well!

he doesn’t get scared easily by creepy stuff for obvious reasons 😋

so you’ve got yourself another supporter !!

I have a feeling my girl boss Airua would get creeped out but 1) she wants to support you so she would probably buy and either never read or 2) read it anyway because it’s so interesting

like you captivated people with your work!

just as much as your friend does with more gentler topics

but in a different sense

You make your audience quite literally cover their eyes in fear yet still peak through they’re fingers with anticipation !

like that’s how good it is!

a “I can’t look away” type of thriller!

also you know that really talkative guy with the bob?

yeah he over analyzes your manga once he finds out about it

(which let me tell you- Kusuo tried his hardest to keep him away from it—but much to his luck- he got a hold of it anyway)

thankfully he likes it!

he’s scared- but once again- he just can’t look away :)

he comes to you and gives your extremely detailed compliments and (positive) feedback after each chapter is released and says he can’t wait for more

he also tells his expectations and predictions for the next one and hopes you’ll live up to them

so when your exceed them he’s more than thrilled (GET IT?? Ok..)

he’s practically able to predict every book or manga he reads because he analyzes everything

so when your able to surprise him he’s impressed!

after Kusuo he’s the first one to buy a copy

(cuz yk Kusuo gets those special you-get-the-first-copy-before-it’s-published-because-your-my-boyfriend-privileges)

LOL

the bob guy is low key jealous of him for getting it before it’s even PUBLISHED

tries to bargain you to get that too but it’s strictly reserved for Kuu ♡

okay I looked up bob guy’s name

it’s Akechi Touma (oops)

LOL “bob guy”

enjoy!! Pretty short but I think they’re a delight~

[xxblairexxss]

Doudou (part 2)

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 (Charles’s ending)

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x reader / Lando Norris x reader

Theme : Angst / fluff

I couldn’t choose so I’m gonna make you guys miserable too. Second part is very connected to the 1st one so please give that a read first so you can understand this one better. I covered and explained more about her relationship with Charles’s from his side that were left hanging in the first part. Read until the end, I left a note down there where I pointed out small details that you might have missed! Happy reading! p/s: I read all the comments and reblogs and I really appreciate every single one of you I’m so so glad you guys liked the 1st one <3 thank youu! Sorry if you are not a fan of long fics I got carried away ;;

You never mentioned or uploaded anything that were ties with Charles. You were not a public figure, you weren’t even famous. You were just someone who got the public attention because your first love happened to be a Formula 1 driver. Whatever happened in private, should remain as it was. So, you just continued with your life, in fact, you did it so perfect that to the public, it seemed like the broke up didn’t stain any sides.

Your friendship with other drivers didn’t budged even after what had happened. You were friends with some of them since you guys were kids because you used to attend FiA Karting Wold Cup for Charles. One of the drivers that had been with you since the beginning was Lando. He didn’t live in Monaco back then so he was just a familiar face to you and an occasional “Hi, Lando!” and “Bye, Lando. See you next time!” but you always found yourself in a long conversation whenever you met him, there was always things to talk about.

When Charles came into the paddock with someone else, Lando was the first person to call you. It was obvious then that Charles didn’t tell anyone else about what happened because if he did, Lando would have called you sooner.

“Lando? Hi!”

Lando was hanging around the Mclaren’s hospitality lounge area when he hit the call button and it was at the exact moment he saw Charles and his new girl walked past his building. What were the odds of that happened. Judging the way you greeted him, he would have had no idea something happened between you and Charles if he didn’t saw the event earlier but he knew you very well to know despite the jolly tone, you kept a lot of unspoken words.

“Y/N, hey. I—uhm..” fuck, he was going to ask about about Charles but you sounded so ebullient he didn’t have the heart to ask.

But he wasn’t prepared for any topics either.

“Lando..?

“I—just wanted to talk about what happened in practice session yesterday.” He crunched up his face in discomfort. That was embarrassing.

“Oh, sure! What happened?”

You shared more texts and phone calls with Lando after the sudden, random one where he talked about the car’s break and throttle. He ended up telling you about Charles’s new girl and you told him what happened, but it was just a brief and short one. You didn’t want to make Charles looked bad to anyone else. What he did to you didn’t make him a bad friend to Lando.

So you knew he had a new girl, even before the Japan Grand Prix. Part of you was actually hoping to see him with his new girl when you attended the grand prix just so you could see the smile that you always received for like a quarter of your life. At least you could see the way the wrinkles around his eyes became more visible as the ends of his lips curved and the loop sided dimples even if it wasn’t meant for you.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

“That tickles.” Charles chortled and leaned his face away.

“No, stay still.” You furrowed your brows as you scooted closer to carry on tracing his dimples. “You are so pretty.”

Charles hummed in response and brought one hand to cup on your cheeks. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” He had always loved when you laid down on him whenever he took a spot on the couch. He loved analysing your facial features up closed, the way your eyes seemed twinkled as the light reflected on them. Made him wonder why kind of good deeds he did in his past to be gifted a chance to be with you.

“Yeah, my boyfriend always makes sure I never forget that.” You giggled in response and poked on his dimple that you had been tracing.

“Your boyfriend is one lucky man, isn’t he?” He moved his hand from cupping your cheek to pulling your hand away from his face to leave a peck on your palm. “Now stop playing with my dimples and let me adore my beloved girlfriend.”

kymillman

Liked by 103,547 others

kymillman Ferrari F1 driver has arrived in the paddock for the last practice session of the season!

username we haven’t seen charlotte for a while now

username Last race let’s go!!

username Charlotte went to 5 races and then just vanished

f1wags_

Liked by 16,723 others

f1wags_ Last race of the season and we expected to see charlottesiine in the paddock as it was a significant race but Charles was seen arriving at the paddock for the main race all alone again. What do you think?

username I think we should just focus on the race :)

username this is a gossip page bruh

username Is it true Y/N is attending? Can someone confirm this? Saw it all over Twitter

f1wags_ We are waiting for more pictures before we can confirm her attendance !

username omg i hope it’s true i missed them together 😭

kymillman

Liked by f1updates_ and 197,265 others

kymillman Y/N spotted today not as someone’s childhood sweetheart, not as Ferrari’s VIP but as Mclaren’s! Love to see you back in the paddock, ynusername!

username She’s baaacckkkkk

username mcclaren??? lando 👀👀

username ooff i need charles’s reaction anyone got any tea to share

username she never failed to slay all paddock pictures

username charles wake up and look what you missed

Lando has invited you to attend this week’s race in Abu Dhabi, the last race of the season. You were on a break and a visit to the paddock wouldn’t hurt anyone.

You didn’t worry about Charles because he had been ignoring your existence for like half a year so he obviously would continue doing so. The paddock was not small at that, you wouldn’t even bumped into him even if you wished for it.

So you didn’t know he had arrived alone in the paddock. No girl in sight.

But he saw you. You looked amazing, you always did but he hadn’t seen your face for so long, the face he had always admired up-close. He had asked a help from one of his team to pass you a packet of Maltesers and sparkling maple water from one specific brand that he had always brought for you because you liked munching on something. He could have done it himself if he wasn’t too busy catching interview after interview as this was the last race before the season ended. Not that he had prepared it beforehand because he didn’t even knew you were coming to the race. But he had always kept those two items with him. Not that he wished he would bumped into you anywhere else, though a part of him might wished for it, but it was because over the years of being with you, he himself had subconsciously grew to like those two things. Maltesers and sparkling maple water from a brand called Drink Simple, a brand that no one knew about.

You took the snack and the beverage from the Ferrari guy. The Ferrari uniform kinda gave it away so you knew it was from him but you still took it, because you could never so no to Maltesers and your favourite beverage from the one brand no one knew about, except Charles.

“I’ll get going first. My flight is like in 6 hours.” Soon as the race ended, you had walked up to Lando and gave him a hug before rushing back to your hotel to catch your flight home to Monaco. Tomorrow would be your best friend’s birthday and you could never, ever miss it.

“Alright, Y/N. Take care! I’ll see you soon.” Lando hugged you back and brushed his lips against your temple before rushing his way back to catch up with the interviews.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

“Lando.”

“Charles. What’s up?” Lando gave the lad a nod of acknowledgement and went back tying his shoelaces.

“Have you seen dou—“

“Y/N?” Lando stood up to look at his mate. He wasn’t gonna pull up a fight. He wasn’t gonna act like there was anything different between them after everything you told him. He held himself because he knew you would be sad if he did follow his heart that was full with rage.

“Yeah. Y/N. Have you seen her? Can I talk to her?”

“Mate, she went home. You won’t find her here.”

“Right. It must be for her friend’s birthday. I’ll get going. Thank you.” Charles was about to walked away when Lando called him out.

“Charles,”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think you should talk to her. Not right now. She seems to be slowly finding herself back. If you really want to talk, you should have done that months ago when she was in your way.”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

landonorris

Liked by ynusername and 369,233 others

landonorris P6. Points on the board. Happy days

username Congrats Lando!! ❤️

username so happy for you 🥹🧡

username Is that Y/N?

username is that who I think is is

ynusername

Liked by landonorris, and 167,548 others

ynusername So grateful to be in the paddock for the last race of the season 🧡

username PRETTY

username She’s the GIRL ❤️

username it feels weird not seeing you in red

username that picture of lando 🥹🥹

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

Charles had lost himself nearly the end of last year’s season. He went from chasing the World Driver Championship to fighting to be in the top 10. When he got to winter break, he pulled himself away from you, from your comfort because he kept so many problems, so many worries in his head it became a mess. When he had you in his arms, when you asked him about his day, his concerns, his feelings, he didn’t know where to start. He didn’t want to load everything on you because you had your own problems. He didn’t know why. You had always been his home, his home that he had always felt safe but his insecurity won over him. He thought he did the right thing so he bursted when you questioned his act, making it seemed as if none of his effort actually worked to fight for the relationship.

But he didn’t meant anything he said to you that night. He walked out because he heard you start sobbing when you ran into the room and he couldn’t stop beating himself. He never made you cry before. He failed at being a driver his late father wished him to be and now he failed at being your boyfriend.

But he was a coward so he walked out, he walked out of the apartment because he couldn’t believe what he just said to you, a blessing in his life. He was a coward because he couldn’t bring himself to contact you for months because every time he clicked on your contact number, he would be reminded of your cries and felt like he didn’t deserve to be in your life again.

Charles still wanted to talk to you even after what Lando had told him. He went to your apartment, you weren’t there. He called you but you have changed your phone number. He sent you a message on Instagram only to find out you had blocked him.

Luck seemed to be on his side when he had bumped into you weeks after all of his attempts. He saw you sitting on bench nearby the yatch club in your gym set, you surely had just finished your workout session like you always did every week but he couldn’t find you sooner because you booked sessions with a new fitness instructor.

“Doudou.”

“Charles?”

You didn’t feel uncomfortable, you knew your heart was calling out for him but you weren’t prepared to meet him after your workout session, when you were literally in sweat.

And you weren’t prepared to hear what he said. The answer to the question that you had asked him that night.

“I thought what I did was saving us but it ruined everything. It wasn’t my intention to threw you, threw us away but I felt so, so fucking stupid, so helpless. You were never a burden to me. I didn’t mean any words I said that night.” He didn’t look at you, he couldn’t look at you because he was too embarrassed and your Charles would always looked into your eyes whenever he could because

he loved how they seemed to be twinkled whenever they hit the ray of light

So you knew he was still beating himself for it.

“And the girl?”

“She was apart of my friend’s group. I knew her weeks after what happened between us. We didn’t date, she wasn’t anyone to me and she knew it too. We didn’t do anything, we didn’t even hold hands. I knew deep down she wished we had something more but I couldn’t bring myself to love anyone else other than you. I knew from the moment I was capable of loving someone, it would be you and it will always be you, doudou.”

“All it took for you that night was to tell me you were afraid, that you just wanted me to hold you and I would, Charles. In an instant. Instead, you walked away and you shoved me out of your life like I meant nothing to you, like all those acts and words over the years were all lies. Did you know how long I waited for you to come back after you stormed out that night? I stayed in the living room, all alone in the dark hoping for any sound of footsteps to be the sound of my boyfriend, for him to walk right through the door, to tell me he was sorry but you didn’t come back. I felt like our friendship, our relationship didn’t mean as much to you as it did to me. Was I…not worth the risk, Charles?” You didn’t let out a wail or a sob, you were just crying silently, your gym tights around the thighs started having spotted wet stains from your tears but you didn’t cry as much as you did when you waited for him in the dark that night.

Charles didn’t reply. He was quite. He knew you deserved more but he was done being a coward and needed to be selfish for once. “I’m sorry for the way I hurt you. Sorry for everything I did that led us to this point. And I get it, you know, if you hate me. But I need to tell you, I want you to know that even when I was completely fucked up, I never once stopped loving you. I didn’t called or texted you after that night because I never wanted to be the person that brought any more pain into your life. All I ever wanted to do was love you. I stared at your pictures, rewatched our silly videos before I slept every night because I couldn’t fall asleep without admiring you in my arms.”

You didn’t reply and Charles didn’t say anything. He looked so miserable but you bet you looked no different. And then he you heard him said,

“Can you…give me another chance to fix us? Please.”

“I can’t take you back and pretend as if nothing happened because it still hurts, Charles. I was told I was a burden to someone I have loved with all my life. I—please give me some time.“ Tears fell again, so you spinned away, pressing your fingers against your eyes. “I’m sorry.” You tried to hold yourself though a part of you wanted to reach out to him. Then you felt him pulling you into his arms, his chin tucked on your head like a perfect piece as it always had been.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. It’s my fault and there’s no excuses that would validate any of my acts or words. Please lean on me. Let me hold you when you needed to be held this time.”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

You and Charles went back on talking term. You had unblocked him on Instagram, he didn’t text or call you everyday because you had told him you needed space and he respected that. Part of you was happy that you got your Charles back. Guess you just had to wait and see how the future held for both of you.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

Lando came to your apartment a few days after you had a talk with Charles. He had asked you for a night out but your social battery was too drain to go anywhere so he came over with pizzas and diet coke. You prefered regular coke but diet coke will do.

“Hey, what’s that?” Lando pointed out the product you had in your hand along with a weird looking spatula. You thought he would be here in an hour so you were going to put on your face mask first. Not sure if he came too early or you took a long time in the shower but regardless, you didn’t have enough time to put it on.

“Ah, this? I was going to put on a face mask before you came..”

“Let’s put it on then! My face could use some treatment. Can you put it on me?”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

Giggles and laughters could be heard not from the living room with the boxes of pizzas, it came from the bathroom. Lando had a hard time staying still because the face mask was so cold, he couldn’t understand how something that came out from the tube could be this cold to skin as if you had froze it.

“Lando, stay still you gonna get it in your eyes!” You slapped on his arm that had caged you around your legs as you sat on the table top.

“My eyes could do some treatment too they have been really dry.” He laughed.

He insisted on putting it on you back even when you told him that you could put it on yourself so you tied up your hair in a ponytail, a few stands of loose hair drooped around your face. “Okay, now you can put it on. Just don’t get it on my hair, okay. I literally just washed it. Lando…?”

He blinked, too dazed that he felt like he got the wind knocked out of him. You are heavenly and divinely breathtaking.

“Has anyone ever told you that your eyes looked like it twinkled?”

“Your eyes are twinkling, doudou.”

You were taken aback and gave a small nod in retun. “Yeah, I think I have heard that before.”

“You have such a mesmerising eyes, Y/N.” Lando never had a chance to look at you this close, he had never seen the freckles around your nose, never knew you had a small spot under your eyes. Beautiful.

But he had seen a picture of you on your boyfriend’s— ex-boyfriend’s wallpaper from an angle that he knew was taken from when you were laying on his chest, where it seemed like you were asleep as you had your eyes closed. Charles had that picture of yours on his wallpaper for the longest time ever and he saw it couple of times when they hung out together, when a notification popped up and his phone lighted up. Charles always had a chance to look at your beautiful face up-close.

Charles you lucky bastard.

landoprivate

Liked by 8 others

landoprivate an angel put a face mask on me. it was cold I don’t think I liked it but I would do it all over again if that is what it takes for me to stare at her face up close again

landonorris has added to their story

Your night with Lando was a quite one. You don’t share words that much, just an occasional questions and arguments about the movie.

“How could he do that? Like, try pull my hair.” He pulled the hood of his hoodie off and moved his body forward to allow you to pull on his soft curly hair.

“See? My arms didn’t moved like Linguini’s. They should have came up with something more…logical…for an animation.”

Or something like

“You know, Lando. Ratatouille looks really good until you find out it was just slices of vegetables.”

“That was like a scam, wasn’t it? I would feel so betrayed if my mom gave me that without telling me what it actually was.”

“But it’s good!”

“It’s veggies, Y/N.”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

The movie ended and there will still a box of pizza left unopened. Lando had bought different kind of toppings for the pizzas but none of them were your favourite kind but you still ate them, it wasn’t like you were a picky eater. The pizzas were good but you could have eaten more if it was your favourite one.

“Lando, I’m sorry if I ruined your night. You could be having lots of fun dancing in the club, having proper conversations with people instead of spending your Friday night wearing face mask, watching a movie about a rat and we only talked about silly stuffs.” You felt these kind of things would be uneventful to him, because you always did this with Charles, and you felt like Lando was forcing himself to do what you wanted because you said so.

“I never felt like I’m wasting my time with you, Y/N. None of the phone calls we had where we talked about silly stuffs ever made me feel like I’m wasting my time ever. We could sit in silence for hours and it would still feel so full, so good and so necessary. I’m thankful for you.”

Would you go back to the guy who knew you more than you knew yourself, a guy who had been there with you through different stages of your life, a guy that was there with you from when you were naive, a guy that taught you love that was full of dreams and hopes.

Or would you give a chance to the guy that was still learning about your favourite food, your favourite color, a guy that will teach you a mature love, a guy that you knew would have the power to break your heart if you choose to trust him.

Small details you might have missed! ;Charles knew the reader had to rush home because it was her friend’s birthday. Reader didn’t tell Lando about it but Charles knew. ;Charles could have find reader sooner if she sticked to her old routine because he knew her too well ;Lando didn’t know reader preferred regular coke, he didn’t know her favourite pizza topping but he knew her eyes would occasionally twinkled under the ray of light, just like Charles knew.

[paradoxmimzy]

Shapeshifter HRT

Day -394

I go in to the doctor. Doctor T.H. Arian. The name is a little suspicious but his treatment of my wife has been favorable.

"I thought about this for a long time doctor. I want to be a shapeshifter."

His face gets serious. "Do you know how many people that come in here and ask for that? What do you really want to be? We do offer polytherian treatments if you just can't decide between a few."

So I list them. Every single one. Cat, dog, fox, mouse, snake, bird, hermit crab, angel, devil, elf, vampire, unicorn, hamster, ferret… and others… forms that don't have names but I describe their anatomy in great, sickening, detail.

"If I tried to go through all of them one at a time it would be too complicated. Too much for me to keep track of and what happens if I want to change into something I haven't listed yet? Please doc, if I had to be one thing it would be a shapeshifter."

He removes his glasses and sighs.

"There is a treatment for it." He says.

I can't contain my squeaks of excitement.

"But." He cuts me off. "The substance I'm using is a lot more controlled. I can guarantee the things that it will do to your body will be worse than what your wife went through."

"I still want it… If you got anything that basically makes me like Venom that would be ideal."

"Will you be changing into anything mechanical or robotic?"

"Probably not."

"Okay. I will put in the request now, but do not hold your breath. A government agent will eventually contact you and mail you the paperwork that you need to fill out."

- Day -96

6:21 in the morning. My phone was ringing and with my wife still asleep I answered it.

"Hello this is Officer Mitchell. I am here with Agent Duress. We're here to ask you some questions about this… medication you are requesting?"

My local sheriff, with some guy from the government. Great.

"Yeah I made a request sometime last year and hadn't heard anything."

"Yes, well. There had been some policy changes 150 days ago about the substance you're requesting. Everyone who filed a report had to do so again."

"And I'm just hearing about this now??"

"Your doctor had been informed about it two weeks ago and resubmitted all files that needed to be submitted. He requested we handle this urgently so that is what we're doing, ma'am."

"I'm not a ma'am. Please use Sir if you can."

"With all due respect, ma'am. You take this medicine it's going to turn you into something that I don't even want to think about. Gender ain't gonna mean much to a freak like you."

"I can still use whatever damn pronouns I want."

"Okay, okay. No need to be so sensitive about it. I just gotta sign this thing that says I'll keep an extra eye out for you if you decide to start doing crimes."

"Oh my god."

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to be everything all these stupid fucking things. Ferret, angel, hermit crab? Really? If any crimes are done from species in any of these lists you're gonna be on the suspect board by default."

"Fine. I'll consent to it."

"Alright, good. Next is understanding the exact risk of this substance. Has your next of kin been notified?"

"My wife is fully aware yes."

"Your parents, darling. I'm asking about your parents."

"Dad died 3 years ago and mom's never had custody of me. I am nearly 30 fucking years old, why are you asking about my fucking parents?"

"Standard procedure. Normally we have underage people asking for this stuff. So what age would you say you were dysphoric as a… 'Mono-formic being.'" He sounded out each word bitterly.

And so the questions went on and on and on and on and on. Until finally a voice different from the sheriff's came in.

"Thank you for your time. It will be under consideration."

And then it hung up.

"Ugggghhhh." I groan to myself.

"If you wanna go to the diner I could search for a shirt that fits me now." My cow wife says.

"It's fine. I'll just hang out on the internet. All I can do is fucking wait after all. From email or carrier pigeon I guess!!"

"Too loud."

"Sorry. I'm just mad."

"Do you think they hire pigeon therians into the government to carry messages?" She asks,

"Derpy Hooves is definitely a pigeon therian." I reply back,

"So true OP…" She yawns and slips back into sleep.

- Day 0

It was a text message. It was ready at the pharmacy and all I needed to do was go pick it up like any other medicine.

Doctor T.H. Arian gave me information on how to apply it and what to expect for the low dose they start me on.

He was very insistent I record my emotional state through this and that he would be prepared to stop the treatment if it made me 'worse.' Though he refused to define what worse was.

The medicine itself was just a little black goo in a bottle. I had been informed that it could be applied just on my skin, but that carried a risk to my partner and her own HRT procedures. So I opted for injection instead.

[bones4thecats]

It's okay can I please ask for record of Ragnarok characters with kianna

What's going up to you and what you wanted to be about and the characters you want to write for

Also thank you for taking my requests I really appreciate it also have a nice day or night

A/N: Sorry this took so long to do, I had so much going on with classes and family things so I hope this was good!! This can be interpreted as either platonic or romantic, depending on what you want!! Anyways enjoy, @nunezs-stuff~~

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🍭 This guy met you during Ragnarok

🍭 You were fairly well known among the entirety of Valhalla, as the ‘Slayer of Vampires’

🍭 In life, you slayed 6 vampire brothers in honor of your sister, Yui Komori, but when Buddha first met you when he declared his loyalty to Humanity

🍭 You didn’t look as violent as many said you were, you looked like a adorable mortal

🍭 The god of Buddhism smiled when he saw you rush out to assist him in walking to the healers after his battle

🍭 After that, he was stuck by your side

🍭 Your past does not make him fear you, he stood against many different gods and humans before you, but it does make him shocked when he sees how violent you can get after your fight against a god

🍭 He smiles whenever you hug Göll, seeing Yui in her. It made him see how human you really are on the inside, you’re not an empty shell like many gods he once stood beside

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🌸 The greatest loser in history adored you in many different scenarios, especially when it came to fighting

🌸 Your match was before his and after Lü Bu and Adam’s, and it was amazing

🌸 You fought the god you were against with such precise positioning and exact hits it surprised Brunhilde how well you held yourself against them

🌸 Seeing you and comparing it to the legends that laid around Valalla of you just made him laugh in your face

“ You don’t look like how I’ve pictured you, Y/N! ”

🌸 Your empty eyes and scars made him feel a bit bad for you, as it may have been hard to watch your sister die in front of you, and fight 6 vampires on your own

🌸 He is inspired by you, and winks at you when he begins his battle against the Tyrant of the Sea, Poseidon

🌸 When the battle ended and you helped heal him up, he just cracked jokes and watched your eyes highlight anger and satisfaction with the round’s execution

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🥊 Let’s be honest here, he flirted with you at first

🥊 He has heard of your strength, taking down vampires is not an easy thing to do, especially when you’re a mortal

🥊 Raiden sat alongside the other human contenders as you walked into the ring for your battle against a god they had chosen for you

🥊 Seeing how you would dodge and hit him with such detail and anger hidden behind a facade made him smirk

🥊 You were definitely an interesting human yourself

🥊 This fighter walked into your healing room and began to talk you up about your fight, claiming you might be able to give him a fight to remember

🥊 Your scars that were shown surprised him, he thought nobody would be able to touch you

🥊 But when he heard the story of you from Brunhilde and the other remaining contenders, he understood

🥊 Raiden would watch you try walking off before popping up and laying you back into your bed, claiming just because you fought vampires doesn’t mean you can survived a gasp through your leg and arms

🥊 Watching his fight hurt you, he was a good man on the inside, and seeing him fade into nothing was tough, but you understand now why he smiled at you before his next death

🥊 He loved you, till death and beyond, like Yui

[auideas]

Ermmm sorry if this is weird but do u maybe have any like, ““original”” cyberpunk prompts? I want to write something cyberpunk for an au but I just don’t have any ideas right now no matter how long I brainstorm

Exploring Cyberpunk

Cyberpunk is a very unique genre, which is why so many people are both attracted to it and stumped when attempting to develop plots within an unknown world. Think of Black Mirror created by Charlie Brooker (TV show), Blade Runner written by Philip K. Dick (a movie based on the novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, a classic Cyberpunk novel), Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan (modern Cyberpunk novel), etc. -- each of these were incredibly influential in their own right, but they all also build their worlds gradually while having a single easy-to-explain concept that can spawn an entire universe. To be more specific, each story establishes an issue created by an advanced society ignorantly abusing technology, then allow their characters to explore that problem and try to find a solution in a manner that isn't explicitly black or white for society as a whole, but every shade of grey.

For Black Mirror, each episode anthologically builds upon a high-tech future within the same universe and explores how its characters interact with problems created by new pieces of said technology, both good and bad.

For Blade Runner, the story establishes that androids seem to be malfunctioning, but the bounty hunter charged with hunting them down discovers that the true issue lies in society's understanding of what it means to be human.

For Altered Carbon, the novel explores the issue derived from the obscene length of time it would take for humans to travel between planets stretched across the universe, then dives into more detail regarding how a solution has been abused.

How to Construct a Cyberpunk Concept

What we'd recommend is to start by asking the right questions and looking in the right places. Black Mirror takes its inspiration from a variety of technology, both new and old; Blade Runner explores the idea of AI and androids during the 80's when robotics was on the forefront of innovation; Altered Carbon took note of our increasing ability to travel in an interstellar fashion, then posed a simple question regarding the limits of humanity (specifically, time).

This may sound strange, but the best thing you can do is seek out trends online and scientific journals about new breakthroughs, then ask questions about what may go wrong. For example, an old post we featured here on AUideas that has since been removed from ~2017 because it's in the process of being developed into a script (sorry guys, our bad!) called Dreamscape Co. uses this exact method. When the prompt was made, Admin M was in the process of reading a scientific journal about how neurologists had been able to project a person's thoughts into an image. Although the technology was rudimentary at the time, Admin M posed the question "if dreams can be viewed, what if dreams can be watched in real time with a high quality image? What if they could be immersive? What would that industry look like? Who would pay how much to see a certain person's dreams?" This spun out into a sweeping cyberpunk mini-series, yet came from a simple news article.

Some Cyberpunk Inspiration

When performing a quick search, some amazing ideas seemed to jump out from technology news headlines these past couple weeks alone:

Ferroelectric Liquid Crystal (FLC) Technology Being Used in 3D Displays

Unlike holograms, this technology uses liquid crystals that exhibit spontaneous polarization, meaning their orientation can be influenced by an electric field. They're high-speed, low-power, and have innumerable applications in the future. So, what could go wrong?

How could this technology impact the medical field? Although this may not be possible, consider what could occur if FLCs were injected into human bodies and influenced by electric fields to perform different tasks and functions, such as replacing an organ, attacking cancer cells, etc. How could such a technology be abused or go wrong? How many could die with a simple pulse, like an EMP?

Real-Life Freeze Ray Technology Created for the US Airforce

This technology hasn't been developed to be used as weaponry, but instead to replace large amounts of coolant that must be used on space and air crafts to prevent the machinery from overheating (coolant is heavy and can reduce efficiency yet is absolutely necessary due to the fact that space is a vacuum and therefore does not cool heat like air would on Earth). This "freeze ray" technology utilizes plasma's strange property that seems to break the second law of thermodynamics: it chills down when touching another object before heating up, which experts have proposed is because it vaporizes the ultra-thin layer of carbon and water on an object upon contact, similar to how water evaporates off your skin when stepping out of a pool. The question must be asked: how could such technology be used for not just utilitarian means, but outside of the Airforce's intentions?

Perhaps the technology could be manipulated and over-chill an aircraft, or otherwise damage internal engineering.

Consider its potential applications here on Earth: what could benefit from being chilled with something light-weight and low-power? How could it be integrated into homes? What could be disastrously destroyed with such technology?

Breakthrough in Enhanced Geothermal Systems Technology May Completely Replace Carbon Energy Sources

Google and Fervo have successfully developed geothermal technology that has increased its efficiency and broke records by changing existing rock formations in the Earth's crust. For a natural geothermal energy system to produce electricity, it has to have the right amount of heat, fluid, and rock permeability -- these Goldilocks conditions can be difficult to find 'in the wild'. However, this new Enhanced Geothermal System (EGS) targets the most-easily found aspect (rocks with high heat) then creates the necessary permeability artificially by drilling to the intended rock formation and injecting fluid to create fractures in the rock, achieving the necessary Goldilocks conditions. Sure, this may be carbon-free energy, but what would happen if this were employed on a mass scale?

When energy is prioritized by a high-tech society over food and water, how could citizens gain access to those resources?

What long-term effects could such a system have on the Earth as a whole? Could the ground become unstable? Maybe earthquakes crumble city after city? Maybe the entire Earth's crust loses its integrity and disintegrates, pulling only a lucky few deep underground and forcing them to survive off the left over fluid injected into the Earth's crust and whatever they can find.

Closing Thoughts

As you can see from above, there's a crazy amount of inspiration that can be drawn from current technology events. What's important to remember is that yes, we've been talking about complicated technology, but only you have to understand how it functions in your universe down to the molecule, not your audience. Deep technology topics can be dry to a certain extent, and over-explaining your world can be damaging to your story. Explanations regarding how technology works in each of the stories we discussed is limited for that same reason (Black Mirror's overarching concepts, specifics about how Blade Runner's Replicant technology are rarely discussed, etc.). Leave some mystery surrounding how your cyberpunk world functions and allow how your characters room to breathe and interact with that world -- it can speak for itself. Your audience may first love the idea behind your story, but what they'll remember and relate to is how your protagonists and antagonists suffer and prevail within your universe.

We hope this answered your question, and feel free to follow up if you'd like some more guidance and advice on how to construct your Cyberpunk story! In addition, feel free to check out our other post which outlines more information on how to build a Cyberpunk world.

Now get to writing, and have an awesome week!

-- Admin M x

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2023: more about the true winner because I said so

Hey, guess who is not over Eurovision 2023 yet.

It’s me, I am who.

I have never been so invested and still so obsessed over this year’s Eurovision. I mean, I am always hit by the post-depressive phase of Eurovision, but that lasts a couple days - during which I usually go through all the beautiful moments and listen to all the songs on repeat - then I’m back to my regular schedule of stupidly long analyses and fanfictions.

(By the way, sorry for all the Americans who follow me and have no idea of what I’m talking about or what happened in this year’s Eurovision. Just bear with me, I will come back to posting Sanders Sides stuff. Just not today)

This year... well, this year was truly something. And if the last year and the one before I was like “aww, what beautiful moments, I miss seeing these people having fun”, now it’s all mushed into one ball of feelings. I look at those artists having fun with the eyes of someone who saw how things went down. I look at them celebrating the true winner after the finale and I have this strange mix of nostalgia and heaviness.

I am not mad anymore for the result. Or better: I am and I will always be because 200 people stepped over the will of millions. But what this loss caused is just so fascinating and so unique, I want to keep exploring it - and maybe talking a little bit more about the true winner of Eurovision 2023 will help me process my feelings too.

Or I just will satisfy my need to ramble more about this incredible Finnish man, either way.

______________________

The sheer power of charisma

When you watch the entirety of Käärijä’s journey on this Youtube channel (and I suggest you do it, because it gives you a lot of food for thought), you notice a lot of interesting details.

From the moment he won the national competition and knew he had to go to Eurovision, Käärijä knew his only rival would’ve been Loreen. He said right from the start that it would’ve ended up with a confrontation between Sweden and Finland. He liked other songs and thought they could’ve been good opponents - but it’s pretty clear he knew the only one who could’ve opposed him was Sweden.

And he knew that Loreen was good. Even though I do not like her songs, even I have to admit she has good vocals. Sure, the vocals are the only thing I understand because she mumbles the rest of the song, but the vocals aren’t bad.

Käärijä knew she was the favorite to win. He praised her performance and called her “queen”, so he has been the first one to recognize her as a worthy opponent. He wasn’t so naive to think “I can easily beat her”.

However, he had some tricks up his sleeves. He knew his song was perfect for Eurovision, he basically designed it for that. He knew his performance would’ve got people’s attention. And he knew he had a lot of charisma.

You can say anything you want about him, but you cannot deny this man is charismatic. And this is a lot interesting, because charisma doesn’t have an exact definition and it’s not the same for everyone. And yet, we can all recognize and identify it as “charisma” when we see it.

The definition Wikipedia offers is that charisma is “a personal quality of presence or charm that compels its subjects”. And it’s undeniable that Käärijä has it. He has that genuine, simple honesty we see in childrens only and this activates our protective instincts, because we feel the need to protect him too. He is funny and makes us smile and everyone loves to smile and have fun. He is simple and humble and that makes him look more approachable and friendly than a superstar.

And his presence on stage is very, very good. He’s eye-catching and he knew it very well. He was the flashiest and the most interesting to look at - both because of his clothes and his appearance. Just compare him to the Cyprus guy: I don’t even remember the Cyprus guy’s face, but I doubt I will ever forget that iconic neon green bolero.

And I am sure he knew that very well. He knew the public would’ve loved him. He knew he would’ve gotten a lot of points because of the public. He knew he would’ve connected with them and not with the jury.

And so it was. The numbers are clear: he was and still is the public’s favorite. His result is the second highest in history right after Kalush Orchestra’s. The entire arena sang with him. During the voting portion, they kept calling his name. Everyone called him “winner”. As the Estonian singer Alika told him: “you had the public when they announced Loreen won”.

And by knowing that, I can understand why he was so bummed. He literally had everything: the perfect song, the charisma, public’s support. And I am pretty sure that, if the public gave more points to Loreen, he would’ve accepted his defeat easier.

But it wasn’t like that: he got more points than her in both the semifinal and the final. He has always been the public’s winner, right from the start. And even if he would've gotten the theoretical maximum of public votes from Europe (432), he still would've ended up behind Sweden.

Losing because 222 people gave your opponent an unbeatable lead isn’t something easy to digest. I mean, it’s been days and I haven’t digested it yet! And I am definitely not a singer, nor I did take part in the competition. However, I voted for him and, well, I am quite pissed that my money got wasted because of a stupid unfair system. The EBU should really refund everyone who tried to vote, considering there was no way to defeat the sheer power of the jury.

So, well, the competition ended with the public’s favorite losing the piece of glass. I will get over it, everyone will get over it. Käärijä himself will get over it - now he’s still rightfully sad about it, but as he said, life goes on.

And he will soon realize that losing the competition turned him into something more than a simple winner.

______________________

The birth of a legend

If Käärijä won, he would’ve been just the winner of Eurovision 2023. People would’ve loved him like they love Kalush Orchestra or Maneskin. Everyone would’ve been happy, a little bit of post-Eurovision depression as always and we would’ve forgotten it.

But losing had an even bigger impact, because Käärijä didn’t step down to second place, but over the first place. Being so spectacularly wronged in front of the world made him ascend to the status of legend and the public went crazy for him. Cha Cha Cha reached the top of Spotify's top 50 global, people from all European countries called him “the true winner” and I’ve seen more than one American, who knew nothing about Eurovision, watch his performance and protest for the result as well.

Even Tumblr was affected by this: the tag Eurovision trended for 3 days after its ending and, after it stopped trending, Käärijä kept doing it for days. And he’s still doing it, so good job people, let’s keep the party going on for a little longer: we all deserve it, after all. You know, as a little FUCK YOU to the jury.

What about Youtube? His grand final performance reached ca. 9 mln views in three days and if you check the comment section, is full of people calling him the true winner as well.

Heck, the Eurovision channel made a video specifically about his journey, like the usually do for winners only (in fact, they did one for Loreen. And Käärijä’s video got more views than Loreen’s in one single day).

And all over Europe people are still protesting and asking for the voting system to change. The Norway delegation asked it first and I fully support them, because they are constantly robbed by the jury. I liked Duncan Lawrence’s Arcade in 2019, but KEiiNO was a completely different level. (And if you loved KEiiNO too, please check their Youtube channel because they have made a lot of other songs and OH MY GOSH THEY ARE ALL GREAT)

Käärijä united Europe with his music and his energy and I understand why Finnish people are so proud of him: there are very few artists who are able to connect people so well. And he did it by using his mother tongue, not English! That’s an even bigger win imho, because it proves that if you have a great song, a strong performance and incredible charisma, people will appreciate you and go past the language barrier without any problem.

That’s why humankind loves music, after all: because it doesn’t need to be understood word by word, to reach people’s hearts.

______________________

The hero’s journey

There are many reasons why people fell in love with this funky green man and they all differ: someone loves his bubbly personality, others were touched by his genuinity, others just fell on the ground laughing and who doesn’t love someone that makes you laugh? And yes, there are some who are just horny for him and you are valid too, because he’s a good-looking man.

However, I think that the main reason why so many people got so invested, it’s because he had the perfect hero’s journey.

He already had a story perfect for a movie, even before starting Eurovision: when he was younger, he was diagnosed with colitis ulcerosa and the disease almost took his life (this post has an interview with all details). But because of that experience, he realized life is short and he should’ve pursued what he truly wanted - i.e. singing. I mean, this alone is perfect material for a movie already.

But now he got another story, and it’s even more like a movie: the story of the young man no one knew, who left his city in his small country, to reach the big European stage. A man with a funny spirit, who connected with everyone despite his broken English - and he wonderfully improved it along the way. Just look at how much more confident he became! Truly a masterful example of how we should just talk and make mistakes, in order to get better in another language.

So we followed the adventures of this funny man and of the friends he made along the way. We had fun and cried for the beauty of his friendship with Bojan (he literally called Käärijä “my new brother” and a small part of my heart that was broken got immediately healed). We got involved in his climbing to the top, we saw him face the behemoth that was opposing him and hoped for him to overcome it.

And he got the tragic conclusion of a hero’s journey: a hero who won and yet still lost.

People love this shit. We have always loved the story of the little one against the unbeatable enemy, the nobody who got the recognition he deserves, the kind heart defeated by the corrupt system. Those are all things that touch people and all aspects of the hero’s journey. And people naturally hope for a happy ending, so if we get a sad, bad or unfair one instead, we tend to feel even more empathetic towards the protagonist. And if your protagonist is as lovable as he is, the feeling is 100x stronger.

I really don’t know if the national juries expected this to happen, when they knew who the public’s favourite was and yet decided to award a different artist. But by doing that, they became the perfect enemy to close Käärijä’s journey and build a legend.

So, well, thanks for sucking so much. You built the legend you didn’t want to.

And yes, Käärijä’s enemy IS NOT Loreen. Loreen did her thing, she didn’t bribe the judges to give her votes. The problem is the jury’s power. So, for all the people who are still harrassing her: please stop hating this woman, she just did what other artists did too.

And since we’re talking about her, please stop saying shit like “She shouldn’t have participated!” too, because this is both very stupid (everyone is allowed to participate in Eurovision) and very disrespectful towards Käärijä himself. It’s a bit like saying that sure, he was good, but, like, you know, not enough good.

And this is totally wrong because this man has been able to defeat Loreen twice, both during the semifinal and the final (at least according to the votes that matter). So stop undermining his ability: he is a good artist. Actually, an artist so good only Loreen was able to compete against him.

And if you still think it’s right to hate Loreen for whatever reason, then I would like to bring this to your attention:

The king literally proposed to Loreen. And, considering how accurate was his foresight about the whole competition, I think it’s time we start to think about when it will happen and how many children they will have.

So if you are still harassing her: stop protesting for the piece of glass and ask her when will they get married, instead. We need to know.

Also, wouldn’t that be an even more perfect ending for Käärijä’s hero’s journey? Not only the great evil (aka the jury) will be defeated, but he will marry the only woman strong enough to oppose him. 100/10 I want a movie now.

And yes, I know Käärijä also proposed to Bojan and they are fathers of a baby sea lion. But what’s the problem? Doesn’t Käärijä have two hands? With one hand can hold Bojan, with the other Loreen, duh.

(Then he will probably need another hand for Selena from Austria, because I think she developed a little crush on him but hey, that’s the life of a hero I guess.)

______________________

Have you listened to his other songs yet?

I just want to confirm they are bops and you should listen to them immediately. Also, do not forget his concert on Saturday that will be available worldwide. Let’s show love to the king.

And yes, that means another post will come out. I mean, there are still so many things we need to know! I want to see the photos of that mural people are doing for him in Vantaa, I want to see the music collaboration between him and Bojan, I want to see them visiting little Edgar at the zoo. And I can’t wait to hear about his future European tour, because he has to do one. And maybe that will fully convey him how big his impact has been indeed.

As people told him in the after party, he conquered the world. Now he just needs to see it for himself.

[green-meanies]

Hey guys, just wanted to give a teeny update that I’m still around! The project I was working on is finished, however I haven’t really gotten any less busy after the fact lol. I’ll go into more detail later, but basically there are a lot of life events happening, and combined with the upcoming holidays, I decided to continue my hiatus for the remainder of this year. I don’t want to force myself to jump back into this blog while having to focus on everything else and potentially burn myself out, especially right after having to split a lot of my time for a long-term project.

While I don’t have an exact date in mind, I aim to be back in January. I may not get a chance to say it later so I hope everyone has a safe and happy holidays and enjoys spending it with their loved ones :) I’m sorry I don’t have better news to share atm, but rest assured I’m not going anywhere, just taking a much needed break!

Thank you for understanding, and I’ll see you all soon 💚

[shuuuuush]

💙 for darkest because he is the loml 🫶 maybe just some highlights from a footasylum video w him and some of the other common people. would prefer if it wasn’t like OVERLY romantic because that gives me the ick but just like kinda cute …. I FEEL SO WEIRD REQUESTING THIS BUT YK WHATEVER and u also know how i look now so if u want those details may make it easier ??? IDK …

SOMETIMES U GOTTA LEAVE UR COMFORT ZONE GUYS !!! BUT IF U DONT WANNA WRITE THIS THEN HMU IN MESSAGES AND ILL UNDERSTAND !!! 😭😭

DONT WORRY OFC ILL WRITE THIS FOR YOU GIRL ❤️

So sorry this took so long to post 😭 I hope you like it 🫶

Laughter With You | Darkest Man

"Home school is back!" Sharky spoke, as he raised his hands in the air, earning a cheer from all the others there, you, Darkest, Harry, and Filly. "Yes, this is the show where fully grown adults take on school children at maths, science, and history. Plus a bonus round of English for our special guest."

"Yes, I know this sounds unfair, but when you find out who the contestants are for this season, you'll realise that the kids actually have an advantage." Sharky grinned as he looked around to the others, a shocked look on their faces, offended at what he just said, mumbling that what he said was rude although a smile on their faces peaked through.

"So do you guys wanna introduce yourselves?" You laughed, clasping your hands together as you glanced around the room.

This was a new season of home schooled and you got invited on for a special first video. Normally, there would be 3 people battling this 6 year old, named Timmy, but they decided that since it was the first video back for the season, they let you join in for the extra round. (Darkest also may or may not have begged for you to be in a video together to the producers)

Filly started to speak first since he was already at the table with little Timmy starting off, "Hello everyone, I'm Yung Filly, and I like to say a little slogan that goes like yeahh man!"

Harry, Darkest, and you were all sitting on the famous homeschooled couch, going in order to introduce yourselves to the camera.

Harry spoke next, the camera turning to him, "Yeah, uh, my name's HP like the sauce, Harry Pinero, but today I am Quincu Osafia."

"Hello, my name is Darkest Man, aka darkest of men and I, uh, decorate traffic lights."

Everyone laughed, including you suddenly clutching onto Darkest's arm as you laughed. It was so random, but it did make the video all the more funnier, saying the same thing all the time would have been boring.

"Hey there, I'm Allygater, aka Ally and the special guest for today's video!" You raised your hands, as everyone shouted a welcome to you, and you bowed, saying thank you, not forgetting of course to point to the young boy, Timmy, and introducing himself as the other special guest but an opponent on today's video.

The first subject was maths, Filly up against Timmy, and everyone beating him up about how he's definitely not going to win this one.

----

During the middle of Filly's subject, someone's phone began to ring, all turning your heads as you see Harry bending to grab his phone.

Sharky going over to reach and take Harry's phone, "I'm gonna have to confiscate your phone, no phones in the classroom."

Harry protested and repeatedly kept saying, "It's my son." A chuckle came from out of you, looking over at Darkest as he had the exact same thought as you.

"Wait, how have you got a son in school?" You spoke, causing everyone to laugh too, earning a look from Harry as he grudgingly handed his phone to Sharky.

"Wait, wait, what year is this, Mr. Sharky?" You asked, trying to hold in your laughter, as you glanced around at everyone's faces, them doing the same.

"This is Year 2."

That's when you couldn't hold it in anymore. You burst out laughing as you clutched onto your stomach, Filly saying, "Year 2, and you got yute already?" That definitely did not make it any better as you laughed your heart out, tears forming slightly as everyone made it worse by adding more comments onto it.

"Imagine being like, sorry sir, I have to go pick up my son." Harry put on the funniest baby voice ever that got you all cracking up.

"Who picked you up from school then?" Darkest added, As he saw the look on your face, he laughed harder, grabbing your hand as you both laughed together.

----

Darkest smiled as he watched you try and help the kid, with answers against Filly, sneakily coughing and then saying the answer, to which Sharky pretended not to notice.

Both you and Darkest ended up helping the kid at times with the answers to the questions. Despite Filly shouting, "That's cheating," it made it more funnier to do so.

"The answer is," you coughed, "The 80s," coughing again.

"No no Ally it's," coughs even louder, "Harry Pineros time," followed by another cough.

Your eyes widened as you stifled a laugh, Harry sending a glare between the both of you as you just violated his age for what seemed like the 10th time this whole video.

----

It was now science, Darkest's turn. Sharky introduced him, saying that both Filly and Harry have lost against a six year old, but Darkest has the chance to steal the win.

You cheered, whooping, "You got this!"

Darkest's cheeks turned a small pink, a bashful smile appearing on his face as he said, "Aw, thanks babe."

You raised a brow, "Not you, the kid."

A cough choked out of Filly next to you as he started laughing, yelling, "Ain't no way, she just did that to you, bruva!"

Harry and Sharky follow suit with laughter. After hearing what you said, Harry shaked his head with a laugh as he kept repeating over, "Absolute violation. Absolute Violation."

Darkest slumping over, putting his head on the table with a dejected look, although you knew it was fake, you still couldn't help but let a small frown on your face.

"Sorry, love you though, it was too funny to resist." You apologised, sending an apologetic smile Darkest's way. Earning an eye roll from him, making the rest of you all laugh.

----

"Ok, so, how am I doing so far? What's the score?" Darkest asked Sharky, turning to him.

"It is... 3-3" Sharky responded, a shocked look appearing as he raised his brows. "If you get this next point, you win."

"Wow, babe, I thought you were dumb. But now I guess you're only a little bit dumb." You smirked, Darkest gasped, placing a hand on his chest, taking "offence."

"How could my own girlfriend call me dumb?See Timmy, a great example of why you should never date."

Now it was your turn to be shocked, scoffing as your mouth was left agape, slowing reaching over to cover your mouth with your hand.

Shaking your head as you slowly said, "You. Did. Not."

"Ohh couple scrap!" Harry said, clutching onto Filly's arm as he laughed.

"Not in my classroom anyways, take your couple problems and go." Sharky pointed towards the outer set, the camera crew waving towards you both.

"How are you lot in year 2 and are dating already? Mental." Filly chuckled, remembering what you said earlier about this class being "year 2."

----

You were up next, the other three grown ass men not winning against the six year old. This was going to be interesting, the subject was English. And even though you were from Norway, you were going to ace this.

Darkest wouldn't be able to say anything afterwards when I win. You thought to yourself, a shit eating grin arising.

"Now your question is, how do you spell Asylum?" Sharky asked, looking back down at his notes to make sure he got it right in his head too.

"Wow, fits perfectly for this video." Darkest admitted, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back into the sofa.

"And why is that?" You asked, looking down at your board as you wrote.

"Because you're a lunatic." He spoke, plain and simple, gazing straight into your blue eyes. If you looked hard enough, you'd see his gaze soften just by glancing your way.

Harry put a hand on his friend's shoulder, whispering, but it was loud enough for everyone to hear, "That's why you feel in love with her, though, right? You're one as well."

"Aww, that's cute though, innit? I like seeing interactions like these." Filly giggled, watching the both of you.

"I thought he was gonna say because this is on Footasylum, didn't expect that, though." Sharky said as he put down his cards to turn to you and Timmy, as you buzzed first.

Turning to show your board, Sharky looked at you and then his cards, nodding his head, "That is correct!"

You bowed, "See? I can spell."

"Good job." Timmy said in the cutest voice. All of you turned to say, "Aww," you side hugged the little man, saying, "He is so cute, honestly."

You could guess that when you looked up, Darkest's brows furrowed, watching the scene in front of him. Yes, he thought it was cute too, but maybe he was a little bit jealous.

As if reading his mind, "Watch out, Darkest, Timmy's gonna steal your gyal." Filly laughed as he saw Darkest's reaction, earning a smack from the guy.

"HE'S SIX YEARS OLD HE AIN'T STEALING NOTHING."

You smiled, letting go of Timmy, and sitting upright properly. Darkest being jealous was something you definitely didn't know you'd see today but it was cute in a way.

You ended up giving the win to Timmy. Even though Darkest chewed you out for it, he gave you the longest hug afterwards, and you wouldn't have it any other way right now.🫶

Requested by: @allygatcr

[quinloki]

hello, sorry if this is too real of an ask if you're not feeling too well recently, but I've been meaning to ask if you have any advice when it comes to tackling really dark topics in fanfics?? I've been meaning to write a darkfic with the Kid pirates main 4 as slasher movie villains (think Jason Voorhees vibes) with a touch of yandere tendencies, so there's not gonna be a lot of comfort/fluff in this fic. this is naturally gonna be hard to write especially when it comes to wanting to write dark and disturbing scenes without wanting to glorify or romanticise abusive behavior or stockholm syndrome, not to mention not wanting to upset or trigger survivors, especially as one myself, so any advice would be lovely. thank you ^-^

I’m going to start this off with what I think should be your most important takeaway from this:

It’s okay to romanticize abuse in fiction.

It’s okay to romanticize horror, murder, etc. etc. in fiction.

Fiction is where we can do the really uncomfortable stuff. Where we can explore the darks part of existing, because it’s good to be able to go “I connect with this and I should consider why.” Or “this brings me comfort, how can I break that down?” Stuff like that.

Sometimes it helps us realize a view or understanding we had that we thought was good is inherently flawed. (I am reminded of viewers being very angry when they realized the character in The Boys they connected with was *not* a good guy and did not get redeemed.)

What we have to be careful about is not condoning such themes in reality.

Horror movies and books go into deep dark territory all the time, but often hobby writers can be held to odd standards by comparison, which gets a bit frustrating at times.

How to avoid that AND present dark fic properly?

On Ao3 and tumblr just tag your story - character death, gore, stalking, Stockholm syndrome, abuse, toxic relationship, dubcon, noncon as applicable, excessive descriptions of blood and gore, etc.

You don’t have to get specific - you don’t have to say who dies/survives. You can admit to “this has a bad end” if you want - I had a webcomic warn me about that and it was NOT kidding.

Some responsibility is on the writer for dark fic, yes, but honestly that’s just in terms of being sure you label it well. Avoiding and heeding those tags is solely on the reader - as long as you didn’t, say, write about disarticulation in exacting detail without warning “excessive descriptions of blood and gore”.

You can put additional warnings in the summary, or even as a heads up before a particularly intense chapter.

And, you’re not going to be perfect. If someone says “hey can you add [x] tag?” Be open to it - but don’t add any and every tag requested - sometimes people can be demanding in tag requests and you have the right to decide where the line really is.

For example someone might ask that you add a tag involving eye-trauma. It’s a squick of mine, people getting injured on, in, around their eyes, and I wouldn’t be upset with a heads up - but I also think it’s covered under warnings of gore.

Someone might ask that you tag a specific character’s death - personally? I wouldn’t. “Character death” is enough. “Slasher/horror” honestly should really be enough cause even though I don’t watch horror movies I have a keen understanding that you do not get attached to characters in a horror story.

As long as you hit the broad strokes, I think that’s enough. The idea is that no one wants to walk into a slasher when they were expecting fluff.

As for taking care of ourselves as writers while we write dark content, that’s harder to give advice on. I really have to be in a steady frame of mind to write dark stuff, but if I know there’s vindication in there somewhere it’s much easier. (There’s a stalker in A Light Touch that gets his due and as someone who has had more than 6, it was cathartic to write.)

But sometimes there’s catharsis in the bad guy winning too. You’ve got to understand those lines for yourself - I can’t really give you advice cause it’s so different for everyone. But listen to yourself.

If it feels like a slog, leave it.

If it’s not getting out of your mind, write it.

You’re not “weird” if you write your darkest shit when you’re happiest, or vice versa. What you need to do is just keep an eye on yourself - there is no world in which you should suffer in order to write “good dark content”.

For better or worse, that’s the best advice I have - I hope it’s helped ^_^

[phebess]

Hello, loyal reader of your work here, I've been quiet for too long probably, considering how I eat up your carlando fics, too many thoughts and I'm shy, oops.

You sometimes invite to vent, so here I am, because of the last two chapters mostly. My brain of an artist just couldn't shut up at Carlos. If you like his art and you know he struggles financially, just commission him, commission him, commiss- argh. Commission him like Michelangelo was commissioned to do Sistine Chapel or whatever. And then there's story of my friend, that I can't stop thinking of while reading this, who dated a sex worker, and despite of not that high income as the certain character here, was ready to provide for their partner, so they wouldn't have to sell their body (said partner did not want to give it up though, so they broke up). Like!!! Commission him for stupid high price and you have a good excuse to make his life easier and maybe being able to drop sex work for survival thing! Like I get it, after the whole 'I pay you for the OF stuff' part, paying might feel icky, Lando's pride could make him refuse (he did not have this problem selling his ass to the other guy in ch 1 though and here it's about his supposedly dream work...), but- you already wanted to buy finished painting, so... goddamit, I'm getting too invested and solution oriented, adhd things ig, sorry for yelling 😅

And then there's the racing part, that I'm probably thinking too much about as well. That is for the past chapters, you made Carlos be Ferrari driver anyway, but if it's fanfiction, why not let imagination wander a bit more? Before his team affilation was mentioned and only that he's reigning wdc, I hoped that maybe in this fantasy reality he remained with RB (Merc taking Max in 2015 or 2017, so he was never in RB, CS eventually becoming their main guy after beating DR when it mattered or whatever - there's also this rally driver!Carlos thing that I can't stop thinking about, but that's waaay off topic). Not that it matters, it's just that I can't imagine Ferrari doing things right even in fanfiction, lol. I'm trying not to get too much into how you imagined Carlos getting that concussion with all the HANS, roll hops and halos, because I guess it's my problem being overly attached to details in story that is basically porn with plot and feelings, so bit of drama is a must have, especially considering how amazing your writing for that part is. I hope you don't think I'm taking away anything from where you're going with the story, just some of my own thoughts and your works give me a lot of those, in a positive way.

Okay, I think I vented all I wanted? There are some older fics of yours that I probably should have written similiar wall of text about, but that's it for now 😅

Hi anon! First, thanks for writing out your thoughts - second, happy to touch on some of these:

I totally understand the want for Carlos to commission Lando's work, and I think Carlos actually shares your exact frustration - he has the means to provide for Lando, it would be so easy. But like you said, it's a transaction-based power dynamic that neither of them want in their romantic relationship. He offered by buying the painting, in a way, and Lando's hesitance told him all he needed to know about whether he wanted his financial help.

In regards to Carlos' team, I actually never said he was a Ferrari driver! I didn't name his team at all in this fic – I didn't think it was important to the story, and allows the fic to be kind of timeless in a way.

For the concussion, there are loads of ways to get concussed, from whiplash to flying debris - the Halo's just make it more likely to be just a concussion and not d*ath. As you said, though, i'ts fiction and we love a bit of drama ;)

I try and make things as realistic as possible in my fics, bc glaring plot holes drive me up the wall - so I feel ya. I should have the next chapter posted soon, I hope you're enjoying it!

[virgopropaganda]

Separate thoughts about Jeanette’s book it’s very long and vulnerable

Later in the book she compares binge, anorexia and bulimia, and the way she describes anorexia as “regal, in control” sucked for me personally. “At least I feel thin and valuable and good about my body, my smallness….I’m determined to keep this up.” Fucking sucked. Also “it’s a secret code you can’t help but pick up on” for a long time I didn’t think they could tell because doctors can’t tell. But other people can tell. Jeanette later writes “Fuck it. This works for me. Bulimia helps me. My grandma is blocked and my body is empty and these are things I need.” Very real however like, you’re not Actually happy (pointing at me). Her slower therapist (the 2nd one she sees) describing her binge pattern was eye opening. She’s right that the eating disorder brain is annoying. It’s like with everything going on and what better things for the mind to focus on, but the judgment on yourself because you ate food. Annoying.

Lots of the details were shocking just because how similar some of the things that happens to me. The way her mom talked about cancer is the way my family would talk about alcohol and drugs. It took me a long time to realize that these aren’t funny cutesy stories, they’re deeply hurtful events that my close family went though. Jeanette talked about her mom being desperate and using a cutesy voice that is sickening to her resonated with my life. The part about not wanting to cut off her daughter less grandma—“There is more maintenance to this relationship than I would like, and even so, it’s not nearly enough for her, which I’m told every time we do talk”. So other people do go through the exact same shit as me. I guess I feel better that I haven’t had an original experience but I am thankful that other people could understand how fucked toxic families are.

Some things her mom said my own family has said regarding their bodies, wanting to be famous, how she felt she was different than her family before her. It’s wild to me that one person in her life was what about 9 adults in my life were. There’s a part where Jeanette talks about how her mom is 20-45 minutes late to pick her up. I can’t even talk about my history without breaking down, but being left by your parent again and again and then having to protect them feels fucking terrible.

I also related to her feelings about life and especially the desperation of wanting out of her home situation. The feeling of being detached from your body during sex. The wanting it to stop but also keep going, being relived to get your virginity over with (I highlighted this part and wrote “comphet?”) When she’s desperate to be with a guy because “he’s older and cooler and you’ve never felt this way about anyone so it must be special.” Jeanette described her grandmas touch not being “nurturing or comforting but seductive”. I related and it made me feel not alone. Toward the end she basically makes a victim impact statement and said something I wanted to articulate if I wrote one “…I felt violated yet I had no voice, no ability to express that. I was conditioned to believe any boundary I wanted was a betrayal of her so I stayed silent. Cooperative.”

There’s some talk about female friendships that’s cringey to read. I understand her mother taught her these things and she’s had to unlearn them but GOD many times my thoughts went to “feeeeeemales oh no not feeemales”. Her mom in pep talk mode “a role she switches into more often than is necessary because it makes her feel necessary”. I just wrote down “oh my god” I couldn’t write who it reminded me of.

Other cringey moments included ”There’s blowjobs and then there’s THIS blowjob” like girl please. Also her drink was gin and tonic I’m sorry everyone out there that drink is a red flag for me personally my trauma is that it looks exactly like sparkling water among other things. When she said “…relate to your loss because they lost a cat a few years back?” (I didn’t highlight the whole context) like I understand your point however fuck you. She got me back by saying “mom didn’t get better. But I will”.

What happened to the Coogan account? I think I watched her talk about it but I can’t remember what she said. My heart shattered when she talked about her first solo apartment.

[ladykittenlena]

Next gen families

Yellow family

In this au, Patryk has a relationship with Brianna, a sergeant in the Red Army (and yes, I know that Brianna is a lesbian in tbatf canon, but below I will write why I made Patryk and Brianna a couple).

I think all of you have asked this question: Why did I make Patryk and Brianna a couple? The answer will surprise you. I know that Bri is already with Sarah, who will be discussed later, and she is a lesbian. I'm just a huge fan of Brianna and I really liked her. And when I created my next generation Eddsworld, it turned out the following: all the ships were heterosexual (sorry), and mostly boys I ship with background characters (Ell was my oc, but then i changed her to Annya, that army girl from christmas special 05 ), and everything else happened after tbatf, and I had to ship someone with Paul and Pat. If anything, Patryk was the first one I matched. My choice fell on Brianna. Why, don't ask. Because they had a lot of common shots, and I'm a born shipper, this is my gift. As a result, I even made a child with them. It was a girl. Penny, that's her name. I can't show her original art as it's mostly traces (I was so bad at the beginning, yes.) According to the story, her love interest was... Attention! Toby Larkson! Do you understand what I'm getting at? Yes, they were a couple. And now they are a couple, but a lot has changed.

Paul was more difficult. Because I couldn't find a match for him :( I even wanted to make him single! But then I remembered (at the beginning of a new era)in tbatf Brianna has a wife, Sarah. And you understand what I'm talking about? Yes! I also shipped them!

The words are taken from my old post, which I could hardly find, but I changed some details a little. Now you know more.

Penny is the daughter of Patryk and Brianna.

And to be honest when I was looking for who Patryk would be with, I didn't want it to be Jenny like @cursed-saphire-hart and don't ask me why.

But so, AU Patryk and Brianna became closer after Annya turned into a monster. Then after a while Brianna admitted that she was pregnant. And then Penny was born (her full name is Penelope, it's just that Patryk's sister was called that (don't ask about her, this is a sore subject).)

Penny has complete loyalty to Toby as the future Red Leader, heir to the Red Army. And I can 100% say she's in love with him. In their teens, they start dating.

Also, Penny HATES rivals. Very much.

Penny doesn't imagine Toby with anyone else (she hates bitchy blondes and many other girls she doesn't like), and no, she and Toby sometimes broke up and started new relationships, but always got back together.

She and Pansy are friends.

Opposite day Penny, like Pansy, has NEVER seen her father. Because Brianna and Sarah are single mothers, but Patrick himself left Brianna with the child.

Unlike her father, Penny is quite kind, and treats the red family well. She also has strong feelings for Toby.

The Ellsworld version of Penny is Percy (because that's the first name that came to my mind that day). He loves Tabby very much. Very much. And yes, he, like Penny, is jealous of her guys.

She also has a sister, but since I didn’t draw her for a long time, here she is.

Her name is Katya (I don't remember the exact characteristics, but she is calmer than her sister).

[the-darkestminds]

I know this is a lot to ask

But just out of curiosity

What do you want to see?

(Interpret this as you will. Give me phrases or images that come to mind (Azris))

(We’ve already decided we’re going to hurt Eris and Azriel is the only person he can turn to)

But what images do you want to see? Azriel worrying his lip, Azriel watching eris sleep knowing he should probably tell Rhys but unable to tear his eyes away because he HAS to make sure that Eris keeps breathing? What is something that tickles your soul? (I don’t need exacts just vibes)

And lastly, whose POV do you want it from?

And any prefered time in canon? I.e pre ACOSF, post ACOSF, pre ACOTAR???

im very excited heheh

Xoxo

Your unorganized Santa 2.0 🥰🥰

Hello! Sorry I am trying to be speedy answering these but you're making me think! (which is good lol, I love your questions)

You seem to already understand me cuz I love everything you just said. Azriel watching Eris sleep... yes plz. I love a "The male was much softer in sleep" moment where Azriel notices all these small details about Eris: his long lashes, the faint freckles on the bridge of his nose, his full lips, etc. I think that's one of the reasons I prefer Azriel's POV. I have fun reading about him pining over Eris, admiring how pretty he is. Maybe he can't stop himself from brushing a stray lock of hair from Eris's forehead, or maybe Az trails a finger up the sharp edge of Eris's pointed ear (I HC that he loves the delicate points). But yeah. I think you get me. Basically I eat up Azriel being like "fucking dammit I hate this guy so why am I so drawn to him and why does the sight of him injured make me wanna tear the world apart?! and why is he so pretty???!?!" lmao. azriel being unknowingly trapped in the closet is also fun for me. (and plays into him not understanding any of his feelings, ever). BUT ANYWAY go crazy. I trust you

If we are doing one POV only, then Azriel! Let's say post-acosf! No constraints! (Although I'd like to have Beron still be HL for the added angst factor, but I think we established that already!)

I'm excited too! love u santa 2.0 🖤

[taeyungie]

em, well.. he called me today. the irony of it all is apparently when i was talking w/ that 1 guy after my ex years ago, i only told him cus he asked me out & i apparently said he didnt need to know that stuff and i dont remember ever saying that but he said he was hurt/caught off guard & therefore never shared any of his personal relations with me. i think i blacked those yrs out. i went thru a very bad & messy breakup and wanted a distraction, i don't remember him ever asking me out then but he said he remembered very well. i feel so fucking stupid. this basically all happened bc of me. and u were right, he said he /always/ had those feelings even after my ex but i felt they weren't there... so i never attempted anything until i built up our relationship again which is how it is now. but, the real kicker is.. i told him that i didnt want to be put in a position where if he was serious about me, that he'd talk to other ppl, but he said im basically asking for commitment and he cant give that to me unless i show that i'm willing to let him come see me or vice versa (which i just need more time for), until then, he's not going to tell me if he's messing with anyone but he said if things do get serious with someone, then he'll let me know to not lead me on. thats not what i wanted to hear. basically he's open to whatever happens with whoever, even if he cares deeply about me, but he cant promise to not talk to other ppl and i know its selfish, i just wanted him to wait for me, esp after all this time with trying and failing with wrong timings. the way he said "IF i get into a relationship, i'll tell u" gets me cause i'll only know if he makes it official, he said thats how its gonna be. and i honestly feel like i'll end up pushing him away cus the reality of that being possible hurts too much. he said he'll just have to accept it then. but even after talking i still feel as lost. i feel sad, ashamed i said those things i truly don't remember. but now i'm confused with my feelings. i know this is going to change everything. i can already feel myself wanting to pull away emotionally & put the guard i barely let down back up 😣

i am sorry sunshine :( but i'm really happy that you guys had the talk, you need to stay in contact with him no matter what, the silence can be the worst thing to do right now, so please try your best not to become closed off. the fact that you're both so hurt by this situation is so visible, my heart is breaking. although i really do understand both of you, and he is clear about what he expects and it's in your hands to decide what to do with it 🥺 you know... you have to understand that he is just trying to be happy too, just like we all do. it doesn't mean he only cares about himself, he was there for you through the bad times and he did wait for you, honey, but the thing happened years ago and he might be just tired of waiting, he just wants to find happiness and love too... i'm pretty sure he's probably just as hurt and confused by this situation as you are, but he cares about you and he wants to be with you, but maybe he cannot handle long-distance relationship, maybe he is tired of waiting, maybe there are other reasons he doesn't want to share because it's hurting him too much at this point, yeah? he probably started closing up on you because of that as well, that's why he stated his feelings in such harsh way. he probably doesn't mean to hurt you at all, he is just trying to protect himself.

so please, don't get me wrong, i may not be giving you the best advice or making you feel better which i'm really sorry for :( but i want to stay objective because the situation is tough, and help you understand how to deal with it, to look at your situation in a different light. I'm trying to guess what can be the issue and what you guys are going through, nothing I say is 100% right because I don't know the exact details and I will never know how exactly each of you is feeling. but what i know for sure is that one can stay strong for long enough, sweetheart :(

i understand that you might have blocked out the memories because of traumatic past and that is completely valid and I'm really sorry for what you went through, you deserve the best of love and care :( it's something he should be understanding about especially that he asked you out when you were still in pain, you probably weren't ready for something serious and i will allow myself to guess the guy you talked with was not considered as something you were serious about, right? you probably hoped for it, looked for it, but deep inside you probably might've been looking for a distraction, something to make you feel better, right? and since he was your best friend it was a different situation, although he probably chose to ask in a bad moment, he shouldn't blame you entirely for that and now act like it's all your fault, but i also understand why he was caught off guard and hurt by that, he was angry and jealous, he wanted to be with you and realizing you didn't choose him was probably very painful, although now he might feel like you realized you have feelings for him because you have no other options, and he wants you a strong and secure feeling from you to feel safe in it, but please don't get upset with my words, let me tell you something first, love.

Let me tell you a story, I myself also went through a similar thing and i also had to deny my best friend a long time ago, because of other reasons but one of the main ones was long distance, i never loved him but i cared for him that's another difference because your friend actually HAS feelings for you, but i know how my friend has felt when i kept explaining him why we can't be together, it made me feel terrible. yet, his feelings for me didn't lessen apparently, and to this day, sometimes, he still implies that his crush on me never went away. but in the meantime he was in many other relationships, serious ones and purely physical ones, while also not telling me much, i probably don't know about a lot but it's his life and not my business - my point is that, he also tried to be happy even while still actively hoping i would give him a chance, because he cares for me more than he does for the people he dated (but again in my story it didn't affect me because i never loved him that way). now picture yourself in our situation, he actually does love you but you guys can't be together right now because of some reasons, and he probably isn't feeling confident about your feelings for him because of the past events, which is why he asks you for "100% yes" or "100% no" right now. unless you give him an answer he waited for for a long time, he has the right to try and look for happiness elsewhere and not involve you in it, he might not be comfortable with sharing that he is having flings with others with someone he actually loves, simply because he doesn't want to hurt you, but it's just natural that he is looking for distractions, he is not looking for someone to replace you but he's also clearly not sure of your feelings for him, do you know what i mean now? he doesn't want the past to repeat, when he already waited for a long time, maybe tried to move on even. i know you don't want him to treat you like a 2nd choice and what i just said might look exactly like he's doing it but i personally don't see it that way, that REALLY is not the case, in my opinion it's the opposite and you are clearly his 1st choice, from what i deducted he also just told you that, but since you were/are out of reach he is trying to find other ways, even if it hurts him that they're not you.

don't close your heart up on him, honey. i know you're anxious and in pain, just try to understand his position, alright? you're both hurting a lot but you care for each other deeply and misunderstanding is not something that should be an obstacle, so please, the only way out of it is to talk to each other and be honest. maybe you could consider making some sacrifices to defeat things that stay in your way of saying "yes" , if relationship with him is something you truly want?