#sorry this turned into a whole thing đ
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something good and true - part 1
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part two / part three
pairing: mob boss!bucky barnes x reader
warnings (for all parts in whole): 18+ only. domestic violence. retelling of abuse and battery. minor character death mentioned. angst. sweet and protective bucky. fluff. not sure if this qualifies as a slow burn or not đ smut. thereâs a happy ending! (as per usual)
words: 4.5k
notes: this fic was supposed to be posted last year for suzâs blind date writing challenge but clearly that is not what happened. a year later and some thousands+ words over the maximum allowed (in total), i was finally able to wrap this thing up. iâm posting in parts bc itâs just so long and ahhh iâm sorry i didnât follow your rules suz @targaryenvampireslayer đ and honest to god there is absolutely no expectation for you to read or even acknowledge this! i just want to give credit where credit is due and so this, my first mob boss!fic, is all thanks to the mob boss au prompt you had given to me! so thank you - and sorry again đ«ą dialogue used: âDoes it make you nervous when I stare?â. thank you in advance for reading, iâd be happy to hear your thoughts! as always, comments and reblogs are welcome and so appreciated. đ©”
Heâs staring again. You can feel it. The heat creeps up your spine as your heart begins to beat a little faster. The feeling has become quite familiar. Itâs been two months of this. You had a feeling heâd be back, but really you hoped heâd have just let it go by now. Itâs not like you thought any of this through, though⊠Of course thereâd be consequences; and none worse, youâre sure, than the ones he could dish out.
Itâs not your fault, you try to remind yourself. Itâs not. You finish wiping off the table of the newly vacated booth, tucking the cash tip left for you in your pocket, before you turn around.
You steel yourself, taking a strong breath before you start to walk toward his private booth. Youâre not stupid, you know the only reason he comes here is for you, he told you as much himself. And everyone else knows that too as the place has become nearly empty since his arrival. Even your coworkers arenât bustling about. You donât know if you prefer having the audience or not. You donât blame anyone for their fleeing, though. After all the stories youâd heard about the man, you always made yourself scarce in his presence, too.
Until the faithful night he requested you at his table by name⊠You sigh, it seems you no longer have the luxury of avoidance.
You remember that night well. The first time you formally met the infamous mob boss, James âBuckyâ Barnes.
You remember how it felt like your blood turned to ice in your very veins when Molly uttered your name with worried eyes, âMr. Barnes is asking for you specifically,â she had whispered as she peaked into the kitchen where youâd fled when you heard he was being sat at his rarely used, always reserved table.
You felt sick. Like a lead weight was dropped in your stomach. You wrung your hands until it hurt before you finally nodded. You were sure she could see the fear in your eyes when you looked at her. âO-okay. Iâll be right there,â youâd nodded. You had to swallow down the bile threatening to creep up your throat. He knows, youâd thought. He has to know. Thatâs why heâs here. Thatâs why heâs looking for you. You were breathing hard and heavy and you could feel the tears welling in your still sensitive eyes. You were caked in makeup, had been all week, to hide the bruises that marred all over your face. It wasnât anything unusual. But there was an eerie comfort you felt in knowing once they were finally gone this time, you wouldnât have to see yourself like that again.
You were in a long sleeve so you knew he wouldnât be able to see the marks along your arms, and unless he had X-ray vision he wouldnât be able to see the contusions littered all over your body either. You had a brace on your wrist but it wasnât too noticeable under the sleeve⊠Okay, you breathed. You can do this. Deny, deny, deny. You donât even truly know what heâs here for. You shouldnât freak yourself out before youâve even seen him.
You exhaled a shaky breath before you reached for the kitchen door.
It was dead silent as you entered the dining hall and it only added to the compounding fear and anxiety growing inside you.
You approached his table cautiously, too nervous to make direct eye contact as you held your pen and pad in hand.
âGood evening, sir, - uhm, Mr. Barnes,â you corrected yourself, âcan I get you started with something to-â
âIâm not here for drinks or the mediocre food, doll,â he stopped you easily, unnervingly calm.
You chanced a glance at him and his deep blue gaze had you swallowing hard.
You didnât know how to respond, so you stayed quiet as he stared at you. Like he knew something. Like he knew you knew something.
âHm,â he considered you for a moment longer before nodding, âya know, I think you know why Iâm here.â
âI-â, you shook your head almost imperceptibly, âI donât,â was all you could muster as your eyes were now glued to him. You couldnât will yourself to look away. You were too terrified.
He licked his lip seemingly out of habit before he spoke again.
âWhereâs your boyfriend?â He asked, sounding exasperated, bored of the interaction already as he tilted his head at you.
You stiffened at the question, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest.
âI donât-â
âYou do.â He stopped you again, the certainty in his voice leaving no room to deny his accusation. His eyes cutting into you as you stood before him, defenseless. You felt like you couldnât breathe but you couldnât just stand there looking terrified. You had to work up your voice and it came out quiet, but Bucky was listening, and watching you, intently.
âI donât know where Freddy is,â you said, voice low, trying to keep the tremor from it as you finally felt your eyes sting, the fear and pain catching up to you as you blinked the would be tears away before a single one fell. âAnd heâs not my boyfriend,â you swallowed, âanymore.â
âNo?â
âNo. We broke upâŠabout a month ago.â
âThatâs interestingâŠâ he hummed. âWhy did someone see his car at your place the other week, then, huh?â
You winced at the images that ran through your mind as you thought back to that day, the one you knew he was referring to.
âHe came over, to talk,â you forced out, no longer looking at the man before you. âBut nothing came from it,â you added quickly, âand he left. I havenât seen him since. Havenât heard from him, I donât know where he is.â
You didnât look at him but by the weight of his gaze you knew he wasnât buying what you were selling.
âWhat happened here?â he asked, reaching for your hand.
You were quite literally frozen to your spot as he grabbed your hand in his. His touch was the most gentle youâd experienced in a long while and it sent an unexpected hum through you. You watched your hand in his as he pulled you just the tiniest bit closer to him and the table. He inched up your sleeve to see more of the brace on your wrist and when he moved to raise your sleeve further up your arm, your body finally moved into action. You yanked your hand back, as if his touch had burned you, keeping him from seeing anything more than the brace.
âFell,â you answered shortly. âIâm sorry, Mr. Barnes, but I donât know what else to tell you. I donât know where he is. And to be perfectly honest, I donât really care.â
You met his eye once more, feeling a little safer as the words came easily. It wasnât a complete lie. You really didnât know where he was. And you certainly didnât care. Despite the scrutiny of the mob bossâ gaze, you didnât feel nearly as scared as you had before he touched your hand. Something about the softness there⊠You wouldnât dwell on it.
âIf thereâs nothing else,â you added, though it was definitely more of an unspoken question than anything. You werenât as scared but you werenât stupid either. You wouldnât be going anywhere until he dismissed you.
He smirked, huffing a laugh as he watched you.
âYou hear from him, Iâd be grateful to know,â he slipped his hand into his coat pocket and took out a business card, placing it on the table as he flicked his sharp eyes up to you once more, moving to pull out his wallet next. You watched as he slipped out two bills and blanched as he put them down on the table, moving the card so it sat on the money.
Your breath caught in your throat as he stood from his seat, standing right in front of you as you took in his build and stature. Everything about him screamed success, power, and authority and the two hundreds he left on the table were nothing more than chump change to him, you were sure.
âJust so you know, doll,â he spoke lowly, âI will find him, one way or another,â he took a step closer to you, âand if you think youâre protecting him by not telling me the truth, I promise youâre not.â He held your gaze and you were terrified he could see straight into your soul with how intent it was, âWhatâs even worse, is he knows we know all about you. He doesnât care if heâs putting you in harmâs way or not⊠Forgive me for saying, but nice girl like you, you deserve a hell of a lot better than that. So, if you think of anything you might wanna tell me, my numberâs right there,â he said looking back over to the card and money on the table. âThatâs your tip. You enjoy your night, sweetheart. Iâll be seeing you.â
His words werenât a threat, but a promise.
He would be seeing you. Didnât always call you to his table, sometimes just observed you while you worked, but every week without fail from that day on, he would be at the restaurant.
You never called him, you didnât have anything to say. You wouldnât tell him the truth, no, you couldnât tell him the truth. He was half right, you were protecting someone. But it wasnât Freddy.
You breathe another strong sigh as you get closer to him and once youâre at the table, you donât say a word, only meeting his brilliant and pointed gaze.
Thereâs something different about him tonight, something unnerving in his stare that you take notice of right away. You work to keep your calm but youâre not sure how convincing your faux headstrong demeanor is tonight.
He lets the silence between you grow for a moment longer before finally, he speaks.
âDoes it make you nervous when I stare?â
His voice is like honey, smooth and rich with that familiar lilt as his lips quirk up just at the corner of his mouth. It warms you while he holds your eye. Thereâs unspoken tension between you two as you stand so close yet so far, itâs been brewing since your first meeting and has only grown with each interaction since. Youâve never named it, but you couldnât deny it if youâd wanted to. You havenât felt your tummy flutter like this sinceâŠyou canât remember when.
Surely he knows what his gaze does to anyone, youâre no exception. But the nerves you feel under the weight of his stare are twofold - not all due to fear, but to flustering.
You havenât responded, but youâve held his eye in the silence. He smirks at you before gesturing to the open space across from him.
âWhy donât you take a seat, sweetheart.â
It sounds like an invitation, but you know itâs more than that.
Itâs an instruction.
You look around briefly, as if someone might stop you or get you in trouble - but thatâs laughable when youâre standing next to, arguably, the most feared and respected man this city has ever seen. Standing. Why is he standing? You realize suddenly heâs still waiting for you to move.
You do as he said and gingerly sit down across from him. He retakes his own seat as you settle. How chivalrous.
âIâll get right to it,â he starts, his deep blue eyes never leaving you, âFreddy-â
God, that name. You canât hold your tongue. You know itâs why heâs here but you donât want to talk about this. You just want this to be over!
âLike I told you the last time, and the time before, and the time before, and every other time youâve asked, I havenât seen him.â You cut him off without thinking. But you really canât have the same conversation again. You canât keep having to think about him. About that night. You're at your wits end - you donât want to have to so much as hear his name again. You donât catch yourself in the moment but it hits you when youâre done talking that you just spoke to Bucky in such a familiar wayâŠsomeone walking past might wonder who exactly you are to him. Clearly youâve forgotten your place, gotten a little too comfortable around him.
You look up from where you watch yourself wring your hand and shamefully meet his eye again. You inhale and start to apologize but he doesnât give you the chance.
His hand is on yours before you realize heâs even moving and you flinch a second late, his gentle touch already on you, stilling your nervous habit.
His eyes soften as he makes you meet his gaze, his thumb gently rubbing your fidgety hand.
You swallow hard and watch as he blinks away the previous softness in his gaze, his familiar confident twinkle back as he speaks,
âI know,â he nods, his hand still on yours. Heâs closer as he leans across the table. âI found him.â
Your breath catches and your face falls. Fuck fuck fuck.
What does that mean? What does he know? Youâre on the verge of having a complete freak out and god he can probably see it written all over your face. You feel a squeeze of your hand and are brought back into your body, into this very moment.
âDonât look so sick, sweetheart,â he says, a half smile on his lips. âYou donât have anything to worry about, you or your old man.â
Your heart drops at the mention of your father and Bucky must see it because he leans closer still, now holding your hand in his. Itâs strangely comforting, but more so is the look in his eyes. The sincerity there, and the hard edge of protection.
You want to believe him but youâve been gullible before.
âI just wanna know the whole story. I know pretty much what went down, some things I think can safely be assumed, but I wanna hear your narrative, just to get the full picture and get this whole mess squared away, yeah?â
The way heâs looking deeply into your shining eyes, the intimate gaze and soft touch as it seems like heâs trying to keep you calm, you canât speak much but you give him a quiet, âyeah.â
He nods and you feel a single tear slip down your cheek. He slowly raises his hand, and your eyes are glued to him as he makes sure you watch his movements. Like heâs trying to reach out to a scared little puppy, he reaches to gently touch your cheek. You donât flinch but as his hand makes contact with your skin, your eyes shut as you try and suppress a shudder.
âNo tears, sweetheart,â he tells you in a soothing timbre as he wipes it from your cheek. âYouâre too pretty to cry over a loser like that,â he adds with a soft smile.
You shake your head, âHeâs not why Iâm-â
âI know,â he cuts you off. âLook at me,â he orders gently.
You do as he says and slowly meet his eye. âYou donât have anything to worry about, ya hear me? Not the police, not my men, and certainly not me. Got it?â
You know youâre staring at him like heâs crazy, but you do understand what heâs saying. It takes you a second but you force yourself to nod.
âGood.â
His touch is still on you as his eyes trail all over your face before he lets his hand slip away.
âAlright, you wanna do this tonight or tomorrow night?â
Youâre momentarily stunned. You definitely donât want to do this tonight. You just need to get through the last two hours here and then youâre headed home to unravel in your own space. But tomorrowâŠ
âTomorrowâs Valentineâs Day,â you point out, sounding unsure.
âWhat,â he sniffs, looking at you once again, âyou got plans?â
âI, I have work,â you answer dumbly after a second.
âNot anymore you donât,â he says, moving to stand. âSo tomorrow it is.â He walks closer to you and extends his hand for you to take, helping you out of the booth. âAnd youâve got the rest of the night off.â
âOh, I carpooled today so, I have to wait anyway,â you explain, though the idea of leaving early sounds like heaven.
âIâll drive you. Get your things, Iâll have the car pulled around,â he supplies easily. He leaves to the front of the restaurant and you stand in your stupor for only a moment longer before you move to get your things from the back. You have a silly thought worrying about giving him your address, then remember heâs had it this entire time. And he told you you had nothing to worry about.
Youâre not a typically trusting person, even more so after Fred, but there's something about Bucky. Something trustworthy, something that feels safe.
You grab your bag and let Molly know youâre leaving early and you got a ride before you head to the front to find Bucky.
Heâs waiting patiently and his eyes seem to light up just a bit when he sees you coming.
Your manager is smiling tightly behind the stand as she watches you go. You feel slightly bad for just cutting out like this, but once Bucky came in, the place cleared out some, so itâs not like theyâre in the midst of a rush.
You let your work worries slip away as the brisk night air hits you, Bucky holds the door for you as you exit and then opens the passenger of his sleek, blacked out Jaguar for you to get in.
You always assumed someone like him, in his position, would have a driver, but maybe thatâs just not his style.
Bucky gets in and as you buckle, begins to drive off. You donât need to supply him with your address as he heads in the right direction without a word.
Itâs quiet but not unbearably so. Itâs not until youâre just a couple minutes away from your place that he breaks the silence.
âIâll pick you up at 7 tomorrow. I figure itâs a delicate conversation weâll be having, so somewhere private would be better. Are you okay with going to my place? We can have dinner.â
Itâs a genuine question, and the earnestness of it eases your nerves even further. Heâs truly asking, genuinely concerned with your comfortability.
âMhm,â you nod with a quiet hum. âYeah.â
He pulls up in front of your house, the porch light on and shining because you knew you wouldnât be off until late.
The car cuts off and you turn to face Bucky only to find him opening his door and getting out himself.
You grab your bag and follow him with your eyes as he rounds the car to get to your side. He gallantly pulls open the door for you and helps you out with care. You stand and he closes the car door before you start up the path to the front door. Itâs a short walk and as you reach the door you turn to look at him as he stays beside you.
âThank you, for the ride, andâŠâ you trail off not knowing how to articulate what it is you want to say. Thankfully he doesnât make you continue. He smiles softly at you.
âItâs my pleasure, sweetheart.â
You blink at him. You donât know what else to say. You finally look away and turn to the door to unlock it.
âWhen you said I donât have anything to worry about,â
âI meant you donât have anything to worry about,â he answers you before you finish your question. âIâm gonna make this all go away, I just need to know if thereâs any loose ends we need to tie up to be done with it, thatâs all.â
Your eyes sting again. He makes it sound so easy, so simple.
âI-â your voice threatens to break.
âHey, we donât needa talk about it right now, doll. You just go inside, relax, eat, get some rest. You donât gotta stress a thing anymore, alright? Iâve got you, thereâs nothin for you to worry about.â
ââŠWhy are you being so nice to me?â you look at him with bleary eyes as you crack the front door open and ask the question youâve been wondering for the past two months.
He takes a small step closer to you and gently turns your face to look at him. âWhy do you expect cruelty?â
You stutter a breath as you look at him and feel the memories of the year you spent caught up with Freddy stab at you. You know why, and youâre sure he does, too. But thereâs no sense of judgment coming from him, and you donât feel embarrassed; not like the way you do in front of your mom. Sheâs the only other person who knows what happened, what your dad did. For you.
She never said it, you donât expect she ever will, but you can sense the thoughts, the subtle judgement from her, especially when this all first happened. She doesnât know the truth but you donât have the care to tell her. Because even if what she assumed was true, it doesnât change anything. No one deserves that.
But the truth is, you didnât stay. The first time he put his hands on you, you were gone. He just wouldnât leave you alone. You were together for six months at that point and they were nice, nothing overly romantic like you see in the movies, but nice. You werenât expecting anything long lasting, marriage wasnât even a thought. You knew he wasnât the one, but dating was⊠fun. And then, one day, a switch flipped.
He wasnât the kind, but nonchalant guy you thought he was. He was angry, like it was your fault the relationship wasnât what he wanted, that it wasnât more. He wanted it to work so badly, but he knew it never would. That only kept his ire burning. And so during the other six months you were âtogetherâ you were really nothing close. You avoided him every chance you got and when heâd find his way in heâd always be sure to leave his mark. He kept up appearances of course, to everyone it seemed. You didnât want to look crazy, so what were you going to say? âI broke up with him months ago and I donât know why he wonât accept that. He uses me like a punching bag when he gets me alone - when he breaks into my car, my home, any way he can weasel into my life.â He was in with the mob and everyone knew it, so even if they believed you, what the hell would anyone be able to do? At a certain point you just kind of accepted that this must be it. Heâd always just be around somehow. Stories of your on and off again relationship floating around thanks to him - he wanted everyone to know that even if you werenât together, you were together. Making it harder and harder for you in every way possible.
And then, one day, everything changed.
Now youâre here, and he isnât.
Now youâre here, and so is James Barnes.
His warm hand is still holding your face and his thumb gently rubs your soft cheek, almost mindlessly, while he peers at you - intent as ever. That softness you saw before is back and you have to remind yourself to breathe when you notice his gaze flit to your lips. Itâs brief, fleeting as his hand drops and he meets your eyes once more. He takes back his step and you watch him take a deep breath himself, the first time youâve ever seen him be anything close to unsteady, if thatâs what you can call it.
You break eye contact first, looking down to the small space between you while you push your door open a bit more, holding onto the handle with one hand.
âHave a good night,â he says, voice low and quiet as he watches you step closer yet to the door.
You look at him again then, âYou too,â you bid softly, finally stepping inside.
He nods and waits for you to close the door behind yourself. As you push it shut, you catch a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and then that fluttering in your belly returns again.
You turn the lock and then press yourself up against the wood, exhaling heavily.
You feel relieved and yet ten times more terrified in the very same breath.
The most pressing feeling in this very moment though is a weird kind of guilt.
You feel more for a man youâve only known for two months than you ever did for Freddy in the entire time youâd known him. Bucky is intimidating, obviously, and you know what he does, what heâs known for; heâs a man anyone would tell you to avoid at all costs. But when heâs around, thereâs this feeling you get that you just canât shake. You feel safe around him.
Heâs known for being a man of his word, and his words to you have never been anything but thoughtful andâŠcaring. He may prod, but heâs never threatened you. Truth be told, you think maybe heâs known this entire time what really happened. Or at least that you were involved somehow. And still, he wasnât harsh with you even once. He was doing his own investigation this entire time, of course, and if heâd wanted to get the truth from you, surely he could have- he couldâve saved a lot of time too. Couldâve even gone after your dad.
But he didnât do any of those things. No, heâs been patient, waiting until he had enough proof without having to pry anything out of you. At the very least you were grateful for that.
Not to mention the fact that he had called you pretty. It seems silly given the circumstances, but it did warm you when the compliment hit. Itâs crazy but itâs clear that youâre feeling feelings for one James Bucky Barnes. God help you.
Alongside the unexpected romantic stirrings youâre coming to terms with, the anxiety and stress of the truth youâve been trying, and apparently failing, to keep about what happened to Freddy has been weighing heavily on you, but with Buckyâs veiled acknowledgment of it, you feel more free already.
Itâd be a lie to say you arenât nervous for tomorrow night, but itâd also be a lie to say a part of you isnât looking forward to it, too. If for no reason other than what Bucky said; to finally just be done with this whole mess.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x curvy!reader#mob boss!bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#mob bucky barnes
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HELP! My Neighbor is an Alien a Porn Star â h.joshua
Neighbors come and go and for Y/N, this is inevitable. Which is why she never bothered to get to know her neighbors. She owns her townhouse while the two on either side of her are rentals. When a new neighbor moves in, she doesnât think much of it until she sees the extremely attractive and single man moving in next door. She learns his name is Joshua and that thereâs more than meets the eye; a whole lot more. alien!Joshua Ă fem!Reader
» back || m.list || taglist « â WORDCOUNT 13k (i'm not sorry anymore lol) â WARNINGS â adult dialogue, female reader, sex work, mentions of: food & alcohol consumption, aliens, porn, cam work; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! â CONTENT â fluff (in the form of comedy), smut (hella); sex work, porn industry, neighbors to lovers; non idol au, alien au, porn star au â NOTES â this is my submission for @ddeonghwa-s cupid event. Hello, hello @shuadotcom it is I! Your cupid! This was so much fun to write and the premise was so fun to come up with! I hope you like your alien!Joshua! I love this concept so much and I could definitely be convinced to return to this in the future. This is not proofread because I didnât have time đa huge thank you to @wooahaeproductions jupiter, @facethesunflower (+hubby) for helping coming up with the usernames. y'all are hilarious and wild. and thank you all for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.
MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.Â
â SMUT WARNINGS: voyeurism, watching porn/cam show, masturbation (male receiving), oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (do not do. especially with an alien), sex with an alien (lol), joshua has an alien cock (which is described in full detail so enjoy that image), use of pet names (baby, sweetheart), mild degradation, praise (f receiving), joshuaâs precum is an aphrodisiac (pretty cool tbh. aliens are fun to write) so thereâs that and also cum eating??, choking (f receiving), and I think thatâs all of them lol but of course, let me know if I missed anything!
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One of the things that came with living in the suburbs was neighbors but for you, getting to know them was never a priority. Owning your townhome meant you were a constant in the neighborhood while your neighbors were not. The townhomes on either side of you were rental properties with a plethora of families coming and going depending on how long the lease was.
Despite not taking the time to get to know them, you still made a conscious effort to be a good neighbor, never causing problems or resolving any that popped up. Most of the neighbors you had were families with young children or young couples still in the first few years of marriage. There were the occasional single professionals that moved in but they were far and few between.
So when you woke up one morning and headed down to make a cup of coffee before clocking into your work from home job, the sight of the box truck parked outside the house wasnât a surprise. You walked over to the large bay window, spreading the slats of the blinds to peer outside.
The box truck must have pulled up while you were still upstairs as the back was now open and workers were moving briskly to unload items from the back. As you watched, you wondered who your new neighbor was going to be. Would it be another family like the last ones? Or maybe a couple of young professionals.
Letting the slats fall back in place, you turned from the window to go about your day, heading into your downstairs office off the main entry and shutting the doors to close off the rest of the home from your working space. You took a seat at the desk, setting your coffee on its designated coaster and powered up your dual screen pc. While it booted up, you sipped on your coffee, eyes occasionally drifting to the window where you could still see some of the movers unloading boxes and furniture.
The jingle of your computer home screen loading drew your attention back to the task at hand: work.
The rest of your morning consisted of checking emails, starting on reports and reviewing itineraries. It wasnât a glamorous job but it afforded you a comfortable living and to pay your bills while also adding to your savings and being able to spend money on your hobbies.
When it was lunch time, you broke away from your screen and picked up your phone, scrolling through the various delivery options before deciding on something that sounded good and was relatively close. You placed your order and decided to leave your office and check to see if the mail had arrived.
Upon opening the door, you could see that the box truck was still parked but that the movers seemed to be finishing up. Walking down the steps from your porch, you glanced over to the townhouse that had sat vacant until today. Amongst the movers who wore khaki uniforms of short sleeve button downs and black pants, was a man who was dressed entirely different.
You opened your gate, stepping out to the cluster of mailboxes you found the mail had indeed come. You quickly opened yours with your key, pulling out the various envelopes, sneaking glances at your new neighbor as he spoke to who you could only assume was the boss of the movers. He had black hair, pushed back off his forehead.
He wore a simple white tee shirt, light wash jeans, and a pair of sneakers. He looked relatively ordinary. As you shut your mailbox door, you moved back to your gate, opening it. At the sound of the gate latch, the man looked in your direction. You quickly averted your eyes and made your way back to your steps.
You chanced a glance at the man, finding his attention was back on the moving company boss. You returned to the safety and privacy of your home, mail clutched against your chest as you shut your door. You shook yourself and headed into your office, grumbling about looking and feeling like an idiot.
It wasnât like you werenât supposed to be there. This was your neighborhood, too. You were perfectly within your rights to collect your mail and it was only natural that you would be curious about the new neighbor moving in. So why did you feel so strange?
You didnât have much time to dwell on it as the sound of your doorbell made you jump, the letter in your hands you were about to open flying through the air and landing on your desk. You mentally scolded yourself for being so jumpy and got up, moving to the front door where you peered through the glass, shifting the small curtain to find the delivery driver with your food.
You opened the door, collecting your lunch with a âthanksâ and a generous tip before retreating once more into your home and carrying the takeout to your kitchen.
After lunch, you returned to your office, sorting through your mail before clocking back in for the rest of your shift. As the day wound down, you finalized your reports and submitted them before checking in for an end of the day meeting. It wasnât a long meeting, fortunately, and you mostly just had to listen, occasionally giving your input before you were finally released and allowed to clock out.
After powering down your computer for the day, you left the office, heading into the kitchen to get started on making dinner. It was a mostly quiet affair, listening to one of your favorite scary story podcasts while you cooked a simple meal.
Once finished, you sat down to eat, continuing your podcast and listening to the narrator tell stories about the horrors of backpacking through Appalachia, something you would never do solely because of the stories youâd heard. Not that being outdoors was really much of your thing. You were more of an inside cat.
After eating and cleaning up, you made sure the downstairs was locked up and headed up to your bedroom, drawing yourself a nice, relaxing bath with the rest of your open bottle of wine. The bath was less about getting clean and more about relaxing as it was thankfully the weekend and you were now allowed to hide away in your home for two days before returning to the office on Monday morning.
As you soaked in the tub, you thought about your new neighbor. Was he the only one living in that big house? Did he have a family? A partner? Children? Answers that you would definitely not learn tonight but surely you would meet him in passing at some point. Perhaps you would find out then.
Then again, you never really made much of a conscious effort before to get to know your neighbors on more than a surface level, sharing names and basic information like job titles and pleasantries. Youâd never invited a neighbor over for dinner nor had been invited over. You preferred it that way.
You had friends, you werenât looking for any more.
The next day, you slept in, enjoying the warmth of your nest of pillows and cocoon of blankets for as long as you could before your subconscious nagged at you to finally get up and start the day. On a normal day, you would be up by 6 am, making breakfast or taking a shower before you had to clock into work at 8 am. Today however, you slept in until 9 before guilt wracked you for wasting the morning.
You went about your day, making a simple breakfast of eggs, sausage, and some sauteed vegetables. You downed your breakfast with some coffee before deciding today you would get your shopping done. Every weekend, you stocked up on groceries that were running low. After getting ready and donning more appropriate clothing, you ventured into your garage, located on the backside of your townhouse and got into your car.
The drive to the nearest market wasnât long and you enjoyed the mostly empty streets and mild weather by singing and dancing along to your playlist. Drumming your fingers against the steering wheel to the beat and bobbing your head, you pulled into the parking lot of the market, pulling into a space and putting your car into park before shutting off the engine.
As you got out, you grabbed your bag of reusable totes from the trunk of your car and headed for the door, grabbing a cart and pulling out your list, kept conveniently on your phone. Walking up and down the aisles, you grabbed the items from your list, marking them off as you set them down in the basket.
As you rounded up your shopping, your phone started to vibrate in your hands and you checked the screen, seeing the face of your best friend along with her contact name. A smile crept over your face as you slid the bar across the bottom of the screen to answer, holding the device up to your ear.
âHi Jiji,â you said softly. âY/N! Where are you? Iâm at your house and ââ You let out a sigh as you maneuvered your cart, one-handed, through the store towards the check out area. âJiji,â you said, trying to hide your exasperation. âIâm at the store. You know youâre supposed to tell me when youâre coming over before you get there, right?â you asked as you got into the queue to wait for an available terminal.
âI know,â your best friend started. âI was in the neighborhood and ââ
Your brows furrowed at your best friendâs obvious lie. âYouâre never just in the neighborhood, Youngji,â you countered. âDonât pull that with me.â You heard her click her tongue impatiently. âOkay, youâre right but thatâs not why Iâm calling. When were you going to tell me you got a new neighbor?â You rolled your eyes as you neared the start of the queue.Â
âWhen I saw you tonight,â you answered. âLike a normal person would.â There was silence on the other end. âOh⊠well, when will you be home?â she asked, sounding like a bored child. âIâm in line to check out,â you explained. âI have another errand to run and then Iâll be home.â You heard Youngji whine on the other side of the line. âJust let yourself in,â you said with a chuckle. âYou know where the spare key is.â
You heard Youngji fumble with something. âOh youâre right. Let me make sure no one is watching,â she murmured before you heard movement. âGot it!â she said triumphantly. You could hear the sound of her putting the key into the lock and the click of the latch as it unlocked. The sound of the door opening and shutting came over the line before you heard her turn the lock.
âIâm in,â she said in a whisper. âIâm gonna raid your fridge,â she added. You snorted as one of the checkout terminals opened up and you pushed your cart towards it. âItâs empty, so good luck,â you said as you started to unload your times. âIâm checking out now,â you announced as you heard the fridge open. âBoo, you suck,â Youngji whined. âGoodbye,â you continued and hung up, pocketing your phone.Â
As you continued to scan your items, you glanced up, eyes landing on the person at the self checkout machine across from yours. It was him. Your new neighbor. He glanced up, meeting your eyes. Your cheeks burned at being caught and you quickly offered a polite smile before returning your attention back to scanning and bagging your items.
You could feel his eyes on you and when you glanced back up, you saw them still looking at you as he scanned his own items, bagging them without looking. Seeing him this close, you could see that his eyes were a striking ombre of yellow and green and it caused your breath to catch in your throat. Either he had some really kick ass contact lenses, or he wasnât human.
Upon meeting your gaze, he offered a mischievous smile, one where you could see that his teeth were slightly off, and definitely not human. The canines were too sharp and a little too long. You lowered your eyes and finished scanning your items, placing them into the reusable bags.
You quickly pulled out your loyalty card, scanning it and hoping for some deals before you started to finish up your transaction. Following the on screen prompts, you pressed the buttons for payment and card before holding your card over the reader until it beeped. Once your receipt printed out, you put your bags into your cart and pushed it away from the check out, not sparing another glance back.
Out in the parking lot, you returned to your vehicle, popping the trunk and placing your bags into the back before shutting the lid and pushing your cart into the cart return area. As you turned, you nearly ran into a cart pushed by none other than your new neighbor who had the same mischievous smirk on his face. âPardon me,â he said, his voice lower and more honeyed than you were expecting. It simultaneously sent chills up your spine but also sent a wave of calm over you.
He was definitely not human.Â
âApologies,â he added as you stepped aside, allowing him to push his cart into the slot behind yours. âD-donât worry about it,â you stammered as he turned to look at you, those same piercing eyes looking back at you. âI should be going,â you added, taking a step backwards. âYouâre my neighbor, arenât you?â he asked, leaning casually against the metal fence surrounding the cart return.
You nodded slowly as he looked at you. âY-yeah,â you said breathlessly. A smile spread across his face before he held his hand out for you to shake. âJoshua,â he said in what you assumed was an introduction. You hesitantly took his hand, feeling the heat radiating off him. âY/N,â you responded in a much softer voice than you intended.
Just as quickly as he took your hand and shook it, he let go, sliding his hands into his pockets. âNice to meet you, Y/N,â he said, putting an emphasis on your name. You couldnât deny, you liked the way your name sounded when he said it. âYou too, Joshua,â you answered. He tilted his head like a curious puppy. âSo,â he started, taking a step forward, closer, towards you.
âDo you live alone?â
His question seemed to snap you out of whatever trance you seemed to be in and now that the allure of his smile was no longer clouding your judgement, your entire body was screaming at the danger it sensed. âNo,â you lied. Joshua stopped to stare at you. âYou donât live alone?â he asked curiously. You shook your head. âNo,â you answered again. âI have a ââ you trailed off. What lie could you get away with. A roommate? A parent? A boyfriend? At some point he might notice if no one else showed up.
âCat,â you finally said. âWhat the fuck?â Joshuaâs confused expression morphed into amusement. âAhh, a cat.â You mentally scolded yourself. âWhat the fuck was that? How the hell is that going to deter anyone? A fucking cat???â You nodded, forcing a smile. âYeah, a cat.â
Silence fell over the two of you before you finally broke it.
âWell, I should be going. Nice to meet you!â you said quickly before turning and making a beeline for your car. âNice to meet you too, Y/N,â he called. You quickly unlocked your car and got in, shutting and locking the doors before fighting with your seatbelt. Once it clicked into place, you started the car, checking the coast was clear before hastily pulling out of the space and hurrying out of the parking lot as fast as you could without hurting anyone or violating any laws.
Your second errand only took a few minutes and soon, you were pulling into your garage, the door shutting behind you as you got out of your car and started unloading your groceries. Entering your home, you heard the subtle sounds of the TV and deposited your bags on the kitchen island. Turning around, you found Youngji lounging on your couch, remote in hand as she flipped through the channels.
âWelcome home, dear,â she called jokingly from her spot. âHow was your day?â
You grimaced as you removed your jacket and moved to hang it up in the small hall near your garage entrance and kicked off your shoes, opting for your house slippers instead. You returned to the kitchen and started unpacking your groceries. âIf youâre going to pretend like you live here, you can at least help me put the groceries away,â you said, looking over at her.
Youngji turned off the TV, tossing the remote onto the cushion beside her before getting up with a groan and making her way into your kitchen, wearing a pair of guest slippers. âDid you bring me any snacks?â she asked as she peered into one of the bags. You lightly tapped her on the head with an unopened plastic jar of grated parmesan.
âNo snooping,â you said as you continued to pull everything out. âJust unload.â
As she helped, you chatted, talking about your respective weeks. As you started to put your things away, Youngji hopped up onto the kitchen counter, handing you things. âSo,â she started as she handed you an unopened bottle of your favorite wine. âYour new neighbor.â
You stood up straight, taking the bottle from her and looking up at her nervously. âWhat about them?â you asked as nonchalantly as you could, bending over to lay the bottle of wine on its side on the bottom shelf of the fridge. âHave you met them?â Youngji asked as you stood up straight. âYeah,â you answered vaguely. âI met him.â Youngjiâs expression lit up.
âHim? As in singular man? Living next door?â
You looked up at her, noticing the excitement in her eyes. âNo,â you said, pointing at her with your finger. âDonât look at me like that!â Youngji pouted instantly as you continued putting away your perishables. âOh come on!â she whined as you shut the refrigerator door. âIs he single?â she asked as you moved to start putting away the pantry items.
âI donât know,â you answered truthfully. âI didnât ask.â
Youngji hopped down and moved to lean against the wall next to the pantry opening, arms crossed over her chest. âYou met him but didnât talk about the basics?â she asked. You looked at her as you set a new bag of rice on the shelf. âWe didnât really have a chance to talk,â you admitted. âI met him at the store while I was checking out.â
Youngji narrowed her eyes. âIs that why you hung up on me?â she accused. You shook your head. âNo,â you answered. âI hung up on you because I needed both hands to scan my items and put them away. Stop jumping to conclusions,â you added. Youngji stuck her tongue out at you as you finished putting the groceries away.
âWell, whatâs he like?â Youngji asked as you moved to grab the non-food items to put away. She followed you through the house as you put away your laundry detergent in the laundry room. She continued to follow you as you took your toiletry refills upstairs to your linen closet.
âHis name is Joshua,â you offered when she asked for his name. âThatâs as much as I got.â Youngji wandered behind you as you led the way back downstairs. âNo job?â she asked. You turned to face her as you reached the kitchen. âI didnât get to ask and he didnât offer the information.â
Youngji frowned as you opened the fridge and started to pull out the things you needed to make dinner. Your best friend moved to sit at the kitchen island. âSo,â she started as you grabbed the necessary pans and set them on the counter. âWhatâs for dinner, boss?â
Dinner was a regular affair, sipping on wine as the pasta boiled and chicken cooked. Youngji was great company and always knew how to keep the conversation going, cracking jokes and telling amusing tales of her coworkersâ antics.
After finishing your early dinner, you headed upstairs to get changed and ready to go out. It was Saturday night and twice a month, you accompanied Youngji out to the city to visit her favorite club and let loose. You opted for a fitted, black dress that hugged your curves and fell just above your knees. Paired with the only pair of red bottom shoes you owned and a simple black clutch, you joined your best friend downstairs to put on your shoes and grab your jackets while you waited for the rideshare to arrive.
Youngji had donned a similar fitted dress but in white with a different neckline and long sleeves, over which she wore a black denim cropped jacket and wore black pumps with silver heels. Her clutch, which was a cross body with a chain strap, hung off her shoulder and the body of the purse was a vibrant red. Youâd gone more subtle on your makeup but Youngji had, as always, gone bold with a dark smokey eye and nude lip.
Your uber arrived shortly after and Youngji led the way out of your house, letting you close and lock the door behind you. The black, four door sedan had tinted windows but the driver in the front seat matched the picture on the app, as did the license plate. You followed your best friend into the backseat, settling into the black leather interior.
The ride to the club wasnât far but took longer with the traffic as you neared the heart of the city. As the car pulled up to the entrance of the club, you thanked the driver, handing her a cash tip and getting out of the car, curbside. Youngji joined you on the sidewalk as the car pulled into the flow of traffic and you turned to join the thankfully short queue into the club.
The location of the club was off the main strip of the downtown area so it never got exceedingly busy but it was still always full of people when you arrived. You never had to wait in line for long though and soon you were handing your IDs over to the bouncer and being directed inside where you paid your cover charges. The charge was higher than other clubs, but the higher cover charge meant the drinks were cheaper.
After turning your jackets into the coat room and getting your tickets, which you tucked into the safety of your clutches, you made your way to the bar, keeping a firm hold on Youngjiâs hand as she led the way through the throngs of people on the dance floor. The music the DJ played was always a good mix of different genres that always got people dancing. He definitely knew what he was doing.
At the bar, you squeezed between the other patrons, next to your best friend so you could order something simple. There were several bartenders, bustling about as they got drink orders, made drinks, stocked the station, and other usual duties that came with the job. You ordered something with cherries.Â
When you got your drink, you were surprised to find it was green with green cherries. The bartender, a very attractive man with a black button down under a black vest, gave you a wink as he set the drink down before you. You thanked him but before you could hand him your card, Youngji beat you to it, opening a tab and telling you it was on her tonight.
After getting your drinks, you nursed them at the end of the bar as you looked around for either an empty seat or table. Youngji must have spotted one because she grabbed your hand and started steering you away from the bar and around the dance floor. As you neared the corner, you noticed two empty chairs and quickly snagged them, thankful to find somewhere to sit.
âHow is that?â Youngji asked, eyeing your very green drink. You glanced down at it. âItâs good,â you replied over the bass that reverberated through the club and vibrated against your feet. Youngji silently held her hand out for your drink which you handed over. She took a sip, eyes widening as she handed it back. âThatâs good, what is it?â she asked. You shrugged as you took another sip. âNo idea,â you replied. âI taste sprite and melon though,â you added, taking another sip.
You continued to nurse your drinks as you listened to the music and watched the other patrons. One of the main reasons you came out here was to people-watch. It was fascinating to see how others interacted, especially strangers. When you finished your drink, Youngji got up and went to retrieve two more, bringing back two of the same drink you had received from the bartender.
âItâs some special drink for the night,â Youngji said as she sat down, handing you one of the drinks. âMean Green or something like that,â she added. You took another sip, enjoying the taste. It was one of those drinks where you could barely taste the alcohol and in your experience with the club scene, you were well aware that drinks that tasted like juice were dangerous.
The alcohol had a way of sneaking up on you.
After downing a second and eventually a third drink, you were loose enough to throw your inhibitions away and join your best friend on the dance floor. The music, a mix of a couple sounds youâd heard in passing, played, drowning out almost all other sound as you enjoyed this time you got to spend with your best friend.
When you first moved to this city after graduating from college, which felt like a lifetime ago, Youngji was one of the first people you met. She worked at your last job. You were both fresh out of college, in debt, and needing work so entry level was the only thing you could find.
Youngji had immediately latched onto you and quickly became your closest work friend. After a few years of attempting to make your way up the corporate ladder, you found a much better paying job and Youngji was the first to encourage you to go for it. When you left, you had expected that your friendship with Youngji wouldnât last but she continued to text and call, inviting you out and your friendship blossomed into more than just coworkers. You became actual friends.
Eventually, she left that job as well and went in a completely different direction in her career and now you were both settled and comfortable in your careers. Youngji lived in the city in a cute apartment on the edge of downtown that overlooked the river while you lived in a townhouse which had been a gift from your late aunt.
The next logical step now that you were settled was finding someone to share your life with but you werenât in a rush to find anyone. Youngji was also in that stage where she was looking but not too seriously. You were just enjoying your life and living vicariously.
As the music changed again, Youngji leaned in to speak into your ear. âIâm gonna go to the bathroom,â she said over the music. You nodded to show you understood and told her youâd wait right there. You were having too much fun, feeling the music and dancing. You were well past the stage where you felt embarrassed or too anxious to do anything by yourself.
As your body swayed, your eyes shut and you continued to move to the beat. The lights seemed to mimic the crowd, dancing over the people in time to the music. You started to turn when you felt a warm body press into you from behind. Your eyes snapped open instantly, knowing it was impossible for it to be your best friend. They were too tall.
Turning in their hold, your eyes met those same green-yellow ombre eyes.
âWell, hello, neighbor,â Joshua said, an amused smirk on his face as he looked down at you.
âJ-Joshua?â you asked, your voice barely audible over the music. Your body had stopped swaying as you stared back at him. âWhatâre you doing here?â He tilted his head curiously, those yellow-green eyes staring into your soul and seemingly glowing under the club lights.
âItâs a club, Y/N,â he answered. âIâm here to partake in thisâŠâ he trailed off, looking around at the dancing patrons surrounding you. âRevelry.â You stared up at him, heart pounding in your chest and echoing in your ears. âAm I not supposed to be here?â he asked, moving closer until his body was pressed right up against yours.Â
âIs this your special place? Should I find somewhere else to go and watch the people of this planet drink and make fools of themselves?â he asked, hands skimming over your hips as he drew you closer, holding you tight against him. You shook your head, staring at him wordlessly. âNo,â you finally said, breath leaving your lungs as he leaned in closer.
âNo,â you said again, clearing your throat and finding the will to push him back. âIâm uhâŠâ you hesitated, closing your eyes and your brow furrowing. The club had started to spin and you were getting dizzier and dizzier by the minute. âY/N?â Joshua asked, hands gently grabbing yours. âAre you alright?â he asked. You shook your head, attempting to shake yourself out of whatever this was.
You looked up at him as his face came back into focus. âYeah,â you gasped. âIâm fine. I need to go find my friend. Enjoy your night.â You pulled away from him and started to push through the crowd only for him to catch up to you, gently grabbing your hand. âAre you sure youâre alright?â he asked, all amusement gone from his expression, replaced only with concern.
You forced a smile and nodded. âYeah, Iâm okay. Have a good night, neighbor,â you said, attempting to banter back with him. Whatever it was in your tone seemed to work and a small smile came over his face. âAlright, neighbor.â
You quickly found Youngji and after telling her about your almost spill on the dance floor, she agreed it was time to leave. You left out the part about running into Joshua as you retrieved your jackets while Youngji closed her tab at the bar. Outside, you waited for your rideshare on the sidewalk. The line for the club now extended down the side of the building and around the corner.
Your uber arrived shortly after stepping outside and after dropping Youngji off at her apartment, the driver took you back to your home in the suburbs. You thanked him, handing over an additional tip as you opened your door and stepped out.
The walk up to your front door was slow and sluggish and your body felt hot, despite the cool night air. It was a heat that radiated from deep within you and you couldnât quite place it. Perhaps it was the alcohol but it didnât feel quite right. As you unlocked your door, a car passed on the street behind you but you paid it no mind as you let yourself into your home, shutting and locking the door behind you.
You dragged yourself upstairs after checking to make sure your home was locked up and barely stripped yourself of your dress and shoes before collapsing into bed where exhaustion and sleep overtook you. You werenât sure if it was the alcohol or the run in with your handsome neighbor, but your dreams that night were weird to say the least.
Weirder than usual.
When you woke the following morning, you couldnât really remember much of them other than your neighbor starred in them and they were accompanied by that same deep seated heat that had thankfully dissipated by morning. The rest of your weekend was spent doing chores. You cleaned your house, did the laundry, and the dishes.
The morning had started out very gray and by afternoon, the clouds hadnât dispersed and a light rain had settled in. You decided to light a few candles and camp out in the front room in front of your TV while you folded your laundry and caught up on your favorite show.
The rest of the day passed in a similar fashion and soon you were falling into bed.
Your sleep was plagued with the same strange dreams with Joshua. You werenât sure what it all meant and you werenât able to learn anything else as you woke up abruptly when your alarm cut through your subconscious. It was still dark out when you pulled yourself out of bed to shower and start your day.
It was the one day a week you were required to be in the office. Your job was mostly work from home but you had to go to the office every Monday for in person weekly meetings which were always done on Mondays. The commute to the office was the worst part, driving downtown, parking in the company parking garage, and making your way to the lobby and then up to the fifteenth floor.
The day dragged on but you were thankful that it was just today that you would be required to go in and then you could lounge about at home and get your work done. When the clock finally read half past four, you were beyond relieved to be leaving and heading home.
The commute back was much more enjoyable due to less traffic and you werenât required to head back for another week.
You pulled into your garage and got out, letting yourself into the house where you were quick to rid yourself of your jacket and shoes. As you headed into your living room, you caught sight of the mail truck outside and sighed. âRight,â you told yourself. âThe mail.â
You retrieved your shoes and put them on at the front door, stepping out into the cool air and making your way down the steps. As you were halfway to the gate, you noticed a familiar face at the mailboxes and stopped in your tracks. Joshua. You were contemplating turning around and head back in to wait until he was gone but when his eyes flickered up and he caught sight of you, it was too late.
You committed and continued down the pathway, opening your gate and stepping out onto the sidewalk. âHey neighbor,â Joshua said as he unlocked his slot, pulling out his mail and shutting it before stepping aside and allowing you to do the same. He sorted through his mail, checking to make sure it was all assigned to him while you pulled your own bills and other junk from your little metal box.
âHey,â you said softly. As you shut the small door, locking it, Joshua spoke up. âAre you feeling any better?â he asked, his voice sounding genuinely concerned. You looked up at him. With a smile you nodded. âYeah,â you answered. âJust tired from the day. Had to go into the office today.â He glanced down, taking note of your attire. âSo where do you work?â he asked,Â
âJust at a firm downtown,â you answered. âI mostly work from home but once a week, I have to go into the office. Makes my Mondays just that more awful,â you joked with a light chuckle. Joshua mimicked your amusement. âWhat do you do?â he asked, sounding mildly curious.
You spent the next couple minutes explaining the nuances of your job and what you did on a day to day basis. âIt sounds much more tedious than it is,â you added. âItâs not a glamorous or highly important job,â you added. âBut it pays really well. Allows me to live a comfortable life.â Joshua nodded slowly.
âAnd rent such a beautiful home?â he asked, a smile gracing his face. You shook your head. âNo,â you answered. âI actually own my townhome.â His expression shifted to awe. âYour salary covers your mortgage?â he asked, sounding impressed. You shook your head. âNo,â you answered. âI actually inherited this place from my aunt,â you explained.
Joshua leaned against the gate, glancing back at your place. âItâs a beautiful home,â he said with a smile. You echoed his expression. âMy aunt loved this place. She took great care of it and actually renovated it from the bottom to the top.â Joshua glanced down at you. âShe did a great job.â
You looked up to meet his gaze. Silence fell as you stared at one another. Finally you broke eye contact and cleared your throat. âSo, uh,â you stared. âWhat about you? What do you do for work?â Joshuaâs smile shifted into a smirk for the briefest of moments but before he could answer, you heard the sound of a phone ringing. He apologized softly, digging into his pocket and pulling out his phone.
His eyes read the contact on the screen and you watched as his brow furrowed slightly. He finally looked up at you. âSorry,â he said with a kind smile. âI have to take this. It was nice talking to you,â he continued. âEnjoy the rest of your evening,â he added before turning away and heading towards his own gate, answering his phone and holding it to his ear.
You watched as he headed towards his front door and disappeared into his home before making your way back to your own front door. Once inside, you went about your night, making dinner, eating, and then settling down for bed. As you lay there, your mind wandered back to Joshua.
Youâd never really bothered to get to know your neighbors before, at least nothing past surface level.
Perhaps just this once, you could make an exception.
Over the next couple days, you continued to run into Joshua, whether it be at the mailbox or the store. You managed to chat with him each time and learned more and more about him. He worked in the entertainment industry but kept the details vague which you could understand for that line of work. You also learned that apart from being extremely good-looking, kind, and hardworking, that he was also very single and had signed at least a two year lease on the townhouse next door. Since it was just him, heâd turned one of the extra bedrooms into a home gym.Â
He seemed almost as interested in you as you were in him but despite the occasional flirting, he never really made a move. He also never said or did anything that made you feel uncomfortable and after a couple weeks of interacting with him, his inhuman qualities started to feel less shocking and the feeling of alertness or danger that had accompanied him started to dissipate into the background.
You knew he wasnât human but that didnât seem to bother you or anyone else around the two of you.
Nearly two months had passed by since Joshua had moved in. It was Friday which meant the weekend was coming up. Youngji was coming over as planned for dinner and Joshua had managed to catch you outside while you were getting your mail.Â
Joshua had started a new home project now that the weather was starting to warm up and you caught him in the middle of gardening. He was dressed in an old pair of jeans, the knees stained with grass and dirt, a plain white tee shirt, also smeared with bits of dirt tucked into his jeans and a dirty pair of work boots. He was leaning against the fence that separated your yards, a pair of gardening gloves on his hands, and a trowel in one hand.
You had been in the midst of conversation when you heard a car door shut and glanced out towards the street to find Youngji gathering her bag from the passenger seat of her car. She looked up as she reached the gate and her eyes went wide. âYoungji!â you said, waving her over. This was the first time she had come over while Joshua was out so this was the first time sheâd ever seen your neighbor.
âThis is Joshua,â you said as she let herself in, staring wide-eyed at your neighbor as she approached. Joshua removed one of his gloves and extended a hand for her to shake. She slowly took it, eyes still wide and staring at him, almost as if she were in a trance. Joshua seemed to have that effect on most people he met. She finally shook herself out of it. âN-nice to meet you,â she murmured, retracting her hand quickly after shaking Joshuaâs hand a couple times.
The interaction seemed a little cold from your perspective. âJoshuaâs started a new project,â you said, trying to break the tension that started to build between the three of you. âHeâs built a flower bed here,â you explained. âWhat are you planting again?â you asked him directly.
Youngji listened silently as Joshua explained what he was planting in the flower bed before explaining the other plans for the yard he had. Throughout the whole thing, Youngji kept staring at him, occasionally glancing at you. Finally, you excused yourself and Youngji, wishing Joshua a good rest of the day and leading your best friend into your home.
Once inside and the door shut, you rounded on Youngji.
âWhat the hell was that?â you demanded as she kicked her shoes off and carried her bag over to the couch, dropping it on the cushion and sat down, covering her mouth with her hand. âJi?â you asked, walking over to the couch. âWhat is it?â
Youngji looked up at you. âDo you have any idea who that was?â she asked. You nodded your head slowly. âUh, yeah? That was Joshua. My new neighbor,â you answered. Youngji shook her head. âNo,â she said. âI mean, yeah. He is your new neighbor but do you know who he is?â she asked. You stared at her, confusion spreading across your face.
âNo?â you finally answered. Youngji let out a laugh, not of amusement but of astonishment. âYour new neighbor, the boy next door,â she started as she pulled her hand away from her mouth. âIs a porn star.â
Your stomach flipped at her revelation. âWhat?â you asked incredulously. âA p-porn star? No,â you said, shaking your head. âThereâs no way. You have to be mistaken.â Youngji watched as you crossed in front of her to take a seat on the other part of the sofa. âHe is,â she retorted. âHeâs actually a really popular one. There arenât that many alien porn stars out there,â she continued and you sat up, holding up your hand to silence her.
âIâm sorry,â you interrupted. âWhat did you just say? A what porn star?â
Youngji stared at you, a deadpan expression on her face. âAn alien one,â she finally answered. âAn alien porn star?â you repeated before bursting into laughter. âHow do you even know this?â you finally asked when your laughter subsided. You watched red creep up your friendâs neck and face. âThatâs not the point,â she said nervously, fidgeting in her seat.Â
âThe point is that your neighbor is a porn star from another planet.â
Later that night after Youngji left, you were sitting on your couch, a movie playing in the background but you werenât paying attention. Your mind was elsewhere. You glanced over the back of the couch towards your office where you could see your computer sitting on your desk in the darkness of the room.
Your curiosity was peaked but you werenât even sure if you wanted to act on it. You werenât exactly afraid of what you might find, but more afraid that you would like it. Youngji hadnât given you much to go on other than a link. You stared at the computer for a moment longer before sighing and getting up.
Entering your office, you grabbed your laptop and took it back to your couch, setting it on the coffee table and producing a pair of earbuds that you paired to the laptop. Grabbing your phone, you opened your texts with Youngji and typed the link she had sent you into the address bar of your browser exactly as it appeared in the text.
It took you to a dark webpage with three large electric green tentacles, curling up around a singular rectangular box with rounded corners. Glowing and dripping green text read the word enter with a little green arrow pointing to the right. You hovered your mouse over it, checking the link properly to make sure you typed it correctly.
âJust do it,â you whispered to yourself. You clicked on the arrow and the page seemingly refreshed. The page had changed and now you were greeted with the same black page, green tentacles and an empty box with a typing cursor. Glowing and dripping green text instructed you to type in a name before allowing you to continue.
You pondered for a moment. You could keep the name vague but something deep down in you wanted Joshua to know that you knew about his career in the entertainment industry. Heâd been purposefully vague when telling you and now you knew why. Alien porn star wasnât exactly a career youâd go around advertising. Smiling to yourself, you typed into the box and clicked the little arrow next to your new display name.
Immediately, you were met with the home page. It was like the rest of the website youâd seen so far. Dark background, glowing green text but instead of the three large tentacles in the middle of the page, extending up from the bottom of the screen, there were a bunch of smaller tentacles peeking out from around the edge of the browser.
At the top of the page was a banner with a logo for the name of the website. It read Xeno-rotic in that same glowing green text that dripped down. Under it were various navigation buttons ranging from âhomeâ to âcontact.â Under that was a small search bar with a little green magnifying glass. You started to scroll, checking out the home page.
It displayed a list of active streams, a thumbnail with the name of the stream, the user who was live with a little slow blinking green dot, as well as a small description and a little green eye icon next to how many viewers were currently watching. You scrolled down to the bottom of the page where a little simple white arrow pointed to the right, indicating a next page.
Instead of clicking, you scrolled back up to the top. When you reached the top of the list, it refreshed and a couple new streams showed up. Once of which was at the very top and quickly gaining a lot of viewers. You looked at the username and checked your text from Youngji. The username of the top stream matched the one she had sent you.
You mouse hovered over the thumbnail and for a moment, you sat unmoving, unblinking as you contemplated just closing the whole thing and pretending this never happened but your curiosity was too strong and youâd already come this far. Taking a deep breath, you clicked on the stream and waited with baited breath as the page loaded. It was a lot like the home page but instead of a list, you were greeted with an embedded video player. The screen of the player was black with a circular loading icon, a glowing green one.
Just as you were about to back out and close your browser, the blackness flickered away and you were greeted by the sight of a figure moving on screen. âSorry, sorry,â a familiar voice said. âFor those of you just joining, the audio cut out so Iâm trying to fix that.â Your heart skipped a beat as your neighborâs face came into view, from the nose up. He was very close to the screen but you could tell he was smiling just from the way his eyes turned into crescents.Â
âIâll have it fixed in a second,â he added before disappearing. You could see below the video was a white chat box with black text. It was going crazy with chats from various users. Off to the side of the player was a small box displaying a few names with little alien icons next to them. Above the names was the same green text that read âsupporters.â You assumed it was some sort of payment system. If you paid so much, your name was shown in that tier.
Joshuaâs face reappeared in frame and he peeked over the edge of the desk his computer was sitting on. âHowâs that?â he asked. His voice was clear and the video also seemed clearer. Several people in the chat agreed with your personal sentiments, applauding him for fixing the audio and video feeds so swiftly. Joshua chuckled as he stood up and you could now see he had changed out of his gardening clothes. He was wearing a black tee and a pair of light gray sweatpants.
The chat went absolutely feral over this revelation.
You watched with amusement as Joshua leaned in to read the chat. âOh is that so?â he asked, raising a brow, a playful smile appearing on his face. âWeâve only just started, chat, and already youâre demanding I remove my clothes?â he continued, a teasing laugh leaving his lips, âAt least buy me dinner, first.â
You couldnât help the laugh that escaped you at watching him banter with his viewers. It wasnât unlike the way he teased and flirted with you. He was a natural at it. You watched as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes scanning the chat. âNo, no,â he said softly. âItâs not out yet. It should be coming in the next couple months. We finished filming a few months ago. There was a lot of post production they needed to do before itâs ready,â he explained and you wondered what he was talking about and started reading the chat.
t3ntacleluver101: how was filming? Itâs been a while right? knottyxbunny: hi shua! xen0ph1liac: i love you shua b34mmeupdaddy: beam me up daddy asstr0nut: will physical copies be released or will it only be available for streaming?
Based on the comments you could make out as the chat moved at lightning speed, Joshua must have finished filming something. He confirmed this as he answered some of the questions you had seen.
âNo, itâll be released for streaming first and then physical copies will go out to adult stores. Youâll also be able to buy it directly from the company website,â he explained, answering that question first. You watched as he reached up, scratching the back of his head. âFilming was different,â he continued. âItâs been a while since Iâd been in front of a professional crew,â he added with a chuckle. âIâve been doing cam stuff for so long that I got used to just being in front of a camera on my own. It was weird having to act again,â he continued stretching before leaning forward, resting his chin in his hand as he read more.
âIâm seeing a lot of familiar usernames,â he said with a smile. âHi bunny,â he added. You watched his eyes scan the screen and assumed that he might have a list of all the viewers on his end. You watched his brows raise before a smirk came over his face.Â
âHereâs a few new ones,â he started. âHi monster smasher sixty-nine, I hope I said that right. Hereâs another, black hole bandit,â he read, letting out a chuckle. âClever,â he continued. âHe loves me not, with a k. Oh, a play on words. How cute,â he continued. âScum lord four-two-one, Iâm a monster for you, andâŠâ he trailed off as he read the next one, his grin widening.
âNeighbor six-eight-three,â he read your username aloud and your heart skipped a beat as he looked into the camera. âHello, neighbor,â he said and you swore he knew it was you. âWelcome to the stream everyone. I guess Iâve taken up most of the beginning of this,â he said sitting back in his seat, slowly swiveling back and forth as he continued to read the screen.
You watched as his hands moved and he did something with the mouse. âThere,â he said, turning his head slightly. âNow I can see the chat and viewer list on this screen,â he said, sitting back once more. âFor those of you that are new,â he started as he rested his hands behind his head, sitting back with his thighs spread, looking every bit as comfortable as he probably felt.
âI like to do things a little differently here. Most cam stars will only take suggestions from paying viewers,â he explained. âI donât think thatâs fair. So I will take suggestion and direction from paying viewers, of course, but donât think that if you canât pay, that I wonât listen to you as well. I want everyone to have a good time and enjoy the show,â he said with a smile. âItâs why I donât charge an entry fee like some of the other stars here. Iâm not shaming them by any means,â he continued.
âEveryoneâs gotta do what they can to make money,â he added. âI just personally donât like to do that.â You watched as he continued to swivel, turning his focus to the screen with the chat on it. âOh come on now,â he said playfully. âBunny, Xeno, Beam,â he said. âBe kind to our new guests. Donât hog the chat. Remember what happened last time? I had to mute you because you wouldnât stop spamming. Donât make me do that again.â
A wave of heat washed over you, arousal shooting straight to your core at the sound of his voice. His voice was soft but his tone was very commanding and stern. Joshua lowered his hands, resting them on his thighs as he continued to read. You tore your gaze away from him to look at the chat as well.
b34mmeupdaddy: sorry alien daddy knottyxbunny: sorry. Iâll be good xen0ph1liac: just wanna express my luv ):
You heard Joshua chuckle and looked back at him. âItâs okay Beam, and you better Bunny. You know what happens when you donât behave. I know Xeno, and I appreciate it, but we have six new viewers,â he said with a smile. âDonât be shy, say hi, he encouraged. You watched as the others said hello and hi in the chat.
imamonster4u: howdy đ€ heluvsmekn0t34: hi hi m0nstersmasher69: greetings scumlord421: yo blackh0leb4ndit: hey đ
You realized that you were the sixth and you hesitated to type. Joshua noticed, the corners of his mouth twitching as he held back the urge to smirk. âCome on, neighbor,â he said. âYouâre holding up the chat.â Your fingers hovered over the keys of your keyboard and you quickly typed out a response and deleted it before typing another in and pressing enter. Your whole body felt like it was on fire.
neighbor683: i donât like being told what to do
You watched as Joshua sat up straight, leaning in to rest his chin in his hand, a smile spreading across his face as he read your message. âOh, is that right, neighbor?â he asked, turning to look at the camera. âDonât like being told what to do? How interesting.â The chat went wild, other viewers rushing to repeat the same words but Joshuaâs attention was on the camera, almost as if he was staring past it and into your eyes. âIâll have to remember that,â he finally said and pulled away.
He didnât waste any more time as payments started coming in with suggestions as well as the chat asking him to show more, to talk, to do anything. You merely observed, watching as he gave a show, slowly moving his hands over his body until one rested over the growing bulge in his sweatpants.
âYouâve been so patient,â he said, eyes flitting over to the chat but speaking to no one in particular.
Or so you thought.
âWonder what I am, where Iâm from, what I do,â he continued, his hand moving over his erecting and palming himself through the thick material of his sweats. âWonder whatâs under here,â he added, gesturing to his crotch. âI look human enough,â he continued. âBut Iâm far from it.â
You watched as he rested his head back against his chair headrest, his chest slowly rising and falling as his breathing started to grow heavier. âYou wanna see it?â he asked, the hint of a smirk on his face. âWanna see what Iâm hiding under here?â
You could see the chat moving at hyperspeed as the viewers threw out their own suggestions and pleaded with him to take something off. His hand slipped under the waistband of his sweats and you could see a peek of his underwear. You watched his hand move under the material, no doubt fingers wrapping around his shaft and slowly starting to pump himself.
You were on the edge of your seat, eyes glued to your screen as you watched him, his eyes fluttering shut as his hips started to buck, fucking his fist a little faster. You watched as a large payment, some four figures, appeared on screen with a single request: show us.
Joshua let out a breathless chuckle, his free hand grabbing his waistband. âAs you wish.â he said and you watched, lips parted in awe as he pushed his sweats and underwear down, pulling his cock free from the confines. Or what you could only assume was his cock.
Despite his eyes, the teeth, and the overall feeling that Joshua was far from human, he was still human looking enough that when you looked at him, you could justify that he was wearing contacts and had fake teeth but when you saw what he was hiding under his clothes, at least his pants, all justification of him being human was thrown out the window.
In his hand was something that resembled a cock, just not a human one.
The base of it rested against a slit telling you that whatever this was, it was retractable. Meaning it withdrew inside of him when not in use. The color of it was what threw you. The base, which was slightly bulbous, was a deep crimson. The shaft was veiny and quite girthy but it also had small ribbed like patterns that wrapped around.
 As your eyes were drawn up the shaft, the color faded from the deep crimson color to a lighter, more pale red. When you reached the head, you finally let out a soft gasp. It was a very soft pink. The absolute tip of his cock was a darker pink. The head was pointed, almost like an arrow shape, the base of the head slightly flared. It was like nothing youâd ever seen before and would probably ever see.
From base to tip, it was probably a good seven inches, so it wasnât massive but you were certain that it would definitely fill whatever hole he decided to put it in. You watched his hand glide up the shaft towards the head and noticed a small bead of a translucent, pink liquid, almost like a pink syrup, drip from the slit of his cock. âPrecum?â you wondered to yourself.
You watched as he gathered the viscous liquid and spread it along his cock, making his hand glide smoother. Joshua let out a low groan, eyes fluttering shut as he continued to stroke himself, hand moving a little faster. It was a mesmerizing sight. The way his precum seemed to shimmer in the light of his room. You cou;dnât seem to look away. As another bead of the pink precum appeared, you wondered what it tasted like.
Before you could stop yourself, your fingers were typing into the chat. Joshuaâs eyes opened as you hit enter and he slowed his movements so he could focus on reading. You watched as he lifted his head and stared at the screen with the chat on it. âTaste it?â he asked, curiously. He turned to look at the camera. You typed quickly into the chat.
neighbor683: have you ever tasted your own precum before?
Joshua let out a chuckle. âI have,â he said with a nod before turning to look at the camera. âDo you want to taste it, neighbor? You wanna come over and see what my cock tastes like?â Your thighs pressed together on their own, as if you werenât in control of your body. You didnât care about the rest of the chat at this point and you werenât sure if Joshua did either.
neighbor683: how about you come over here instead
Joshua let out another chuckle, his hand moving up and down his cock again, spreading more of the precum. âYou want me to come over?â he asked, his head falling back against his headrest again. âWant me to come over and fuck that cute, tight little human cunt?â
The chat was going wild over your interaction but you didnât care as you typed another response.
neighbor683: do it. I dare you.
Joshua let out a moan, low and pornographic as his cock twitched and he came onto his stomach. Thick ropes of milky pink painted his golden skin as he continued to pump his hand up and down, making sure to get everything out. You watched, eyes wide and underwear sticking to you, as his chest rose and fell, his breathing erratic and heavy.
The chat was still going off when he finally opened his eyes and lifted his head. âI wasnât expecting to cum so soon,â he said softly as he sat up and reached off screen for something, producing a few tissues which he used to clean himself off with. âIâll have to take another shower,â he said with an amused smirk as he wiped his stomach and hand. His cock had gone flaccid and started to retreat back inside his body. He pulled his underwear and pants back up, hiding it from view.
âLet me wash my hands really quick,â he said as he got to his feet.
He disappeared for a few moments, all the while, you sat there, staring at your screen in disbelief as the chat demanded to know what was going on. You saw your username being thrown around a few times. Without saying anything, you closed the browser, your screen going back to your desktop. Wordlessly, you shut your laptop, got to your feet and carried the device back to your office.
Setting it on your desk, you glanced out the window where you could see Joshuaâs yard, the small flower garden barely visible in the darkness. As you shut your blinds, you headed back out into the living room, not noticing the dark shadow that crossed his yard and hopped the fence.
As you grabbed your empty cup from the coffee table, you were unaware of the footsteps ascending your front steps. It wasnât until three sharp knocks rang out from your front door that you knew someone was there. You looked up from the sink. Had Joshua decided to make good on your dare? Or was he here to reprimand you?
You hesitated before wiping your hands on a towel and walked over to the front door. You knew it was Joshua without checking and unlocked the door, pulling it open and bracing for impact.
There he stood on your porch, still dressed in the same sweats and black tee. As the door opened, he turned to look at you, those piercing yellow-green eyes meeting your gaze. Nothing was said for a moment before he took the chance to look you over, a smirk slowly spreading across his face.
âEnjoy the show?â he asked, leaning against your doorframe. You swallowed thickly. âLook,â you started. âIâm sorry. I shouldnât have watchedââ
âWhy are you apologizing?â he asked, raising an eyebrow. You looked up at him. âI⊠I donât know,â you answered. âAre⊠arenât you upset?â Joshua stared at you before letting out a laugh. âUpset? That my attractive neighbor now knows Iâm a sex worker? No,â he answered. âAnd since you just sat there and watched from start to finish, Iâm going to assume you arenât upset?â he asked.
You shook your head. âNo,â you answered. âGood,â Joshua replied. âSo, you still want me to come over?â he asked, his tone lowering. Excitement coursed through you at the prospect of seeing in person what youâd seen on your screen. âI uh,â you started. âDonât you need some time to ⊠you know?â
Joshua chuckled as he leaned in closer. âYouâre really cute when youâre flustered,â he said. âIâm not human,â he started. âGive me like five minutes and Iâll be more than ready to go.â
âOh,â you said softly. âDo you wanna come back in five minutes orââ
âJust let me in and eat you out already,â he said with a smirk. You could feel your arousal pooling in your panties. âBesides,â he added as you stepped back, letting him into your home. âIt smells like you could use some release.â You stared up at him in shock as he shut the door behind him. âAlien, remember?â he said, tapping his nose.
You watched him look around your living room. âNice place,â he said with a nod. He looked down, meeting your gaze and neither of you moved or spoke for a moment. âSo,â he started. âWe gonna do this right here on the floor or you wanna show me to your room?â
Without any more prompting, you took his hand and led him up the stairs, leading him down the hall to your bedroom. Inside, you watched him look around curiously. âYou can tell so much about a person by what they decorate their room with,â he said softly as he neared your bed, running the tips of his fingers over your bedspread.
You walked over as he turned towards you and let out a laugh as you pushed him down onto the bed, falling onto his butt with a bounce. âYouâre so eager,â he said with a chuckle. You started to climb onto the bed, straddling his lap. âJust right into it, huh?â he whispered as your hands rested on his shoulders. You could feel his move up your back. âHave you watched any of my films?â he asked, his voice still soft. When you shook your head no, he smiled. âGood,â he said with a nod.
âIâd rather you didnât have any expectations. The way I fuck in front of a camera is not how I do it off screen,â he explained, his hands sliding down your back and moving to your waist. âDo you have a safeword?â he asked, his voice still soft. âCherries,â you whispered. Joshua reached up, cupping your cheek. âGood,â he replied. âTell me what you like,â he continued, his hand sliding down the side of your neck, watching how you reacted, head tilting back slightly.
His fingers wrapped around your neck and you let out a moan as he squeezed gently. âChoking, got it,â he said, his voice slightly amused. âAnything else?â he asked, his hand sliding down to your chest and smoothing over your breast. âDom-â your voice cut off. âWhat was that?â he asked. You licked your lips, swallowing the lump in your throat. âDominate me.â
The minute the words left your lips, Joshua had done a complete 180, flipping you onto your back on the mattress and hovering over you. âAre you sure you want that?â he asked softly, eyes searching your face. You nodded slowly. âYes,â you breathed out. âTake me.â
You didnât have a chance to say anything else as Joshuaâs lips crashed against yours, muffling a gasp as his hands wandered. He pulled back briefly. âCan I take this off?â he asked, gently tugging at your top. You nodded. âTake it all off, please,â you replied. Joshua chuckled as you pulled him into another kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth.
His spit was different from your own. Whereas yours was watery, his was thicker, more viscous. It had a slight taste to it. Something you couldnât place. It was almost tangy but oh so subtle. Joshuaâs hands pulled your shirt up and he broke away to pull it off entirely, tossing it aside as his eyes drank in your appearance. âI like this,â he murmured, fingers skimming over the black lace of your bra.
âBut Iâd like to take it off,â he added, looking to you for permission. You granted it with a nod and sat up, helping him undo the garment so he could slip it off and toss it aside. He guided you back down onto the bed, lips leaving a trail of kisses down the side of your neck to your collar. He continued, kissing down your chest, stopping to swirl the tip of his tongue around one of your nipples before continuing on until his lips met the waistband of your shorts.
He lifted his head but before he could ask, you were shimmying out of both your shorts and underwear, tossing them aside. Joshua let out a chuckle as he placed his hands on your knees, pushing your thighs apart. His eyes swept downward, taking in your nude form until they settled on the space between your thighs, your arousal glistening in the dim light of your bedside lamp.
You watched as his tongue slipped out to wet his lips. âI could probably just slide right in,â he said softly. âBut whereâs the harm in having a little taste,â he said, a mischievous glint in his eye as he lowered himself onto his stomach, head between your legs. He pushed your thighs further apart, fingers digging into your flesh. âJust a little taste,â he repeated.
Your head fell back against the pillows, a soft moan leaving your lips as his tongue met your clit, dragging slowly over it. On the surface, his tongue looked a lot like a humans but now that you could feel it, you could feel what felt like millions of small spines, like a cat's tongue only on a much smaller scale. It felt incredible and each pass over your clit had your back arching off the mattress as you moaned loudly, the sound unrestrained in the privacy of your bedroom.
True to his word, Joshua only had a small taste, groaning against you as he lapped at your essence. When he pulled back, he sat back on his heels and tugged his shirt off, dropping it aside before also shuffling out of his pants and underwear. The same cock youâd seen on the live stream was barely peeking out of the slit but quickly pushed its way out.
Joshua glanced up at you, a smirk on his lips. âYou wanna taste it?â he asked, drawing your attention. You looked back down at his cock before nodding, your eye watching the way the small bead of pinkish precum caught the light. Joshua swiped his thumb over the slit, catching the liquid and brought his hand to your face, offering it to you.
Opening your mouth, you stuck your tongue out and Joshua let out a low chuckle before smearing the fluid over your tongue. Immediately you closed your mouth, swallowing. It was like nothing youâd ever experienced. Most human precum was salty but this was almost⊠fruity. There was a distinct taste of fruit, maybe a berry but you couldnât fully place it. One thing was certain tho.
It definitely tasted like it looked.
There was a dull tingle that accompanied the taste and it started where the precum made contact with your tongue but started to slowly spread across your whole tongue and soon your mouth. It slowly spread down your throat, into your stomach and extending further until it settled low in your belly. A heat started to radiate from your belly, spreading throughout your whole body.
Joshua watched as your breathing started to quicken, your heart hammering in your chest. Arousal started to drip down and seep into your bedspread. âWhat is that?â you asked, referring to the tingling heat. Joshua chuckled. âItâs a natural aphrodisiac,â he explained. âMy species secretes it during foreplay to prolong intercourse.â
He leaned over, his fingers wrapping around your throat. âYou still want this?â he asked, to which you nodded. âThen do exactly what I tell you,â he said before roughly rolling you onto your stomach. He pulled your hips back, pulling you onto your knees. You felt his hand on your back between your shoulder blades, pushing your chest down. âStay just like that,â he said in your ear as he moved your arms under your head. âYou might want to hold on, baby,â he added as he guided the flared head of his cock to your dripping slit.
You felt the pointed tip enter you and let out a gasp before the rest of the head of his cock followed, pushing into you with ease. Your fingers dug into the sheets as he slowly eased his way in, your walls welcoming the intrusion as he stretched them. You let out a long, low moan as he bottomed out, the bulbous base kissing your entrance and the head of his cock pressing against your cervix. How he even fit inside you was beyond you but it felt even better than you imagined.
Joshua gave you a few moments to adjust before he started moving, setting a slow, steady pace. He had a firm grip on your hips as he thrust into you, the base of his cock hitting your lips with a wet smacking sound. You let out a cry of pleasure as he thrust into you harshly, testing your limits. âJust as warm and tight as I thought, he groaned, picking up the pace.
Each thrust had your toes curling, stars clouding your vision. Pure, unbridled pleasure coursed through you, the aphrodisiac running its course and making you more pliant and increasing your arousal. Joshuaâs strength and stamina was a surprise to be sure but he wasnât human so it wasnât all too surprising.
âYou had a lot to say earlier,â he growled as he wrapped his fingers around your neck from behind and lifted your head, his chest meeting your back as he leaned over you. âBut you canât say anything now. Does it feel good? Do you like how my cock feels inside you?â
You could only mewl and moan in response which only further fueled Joshuaâs monologue. âHave I already fucked you dumb, sweetheart?â he panted into your ear, pounding into you from behind. âSo pathetic and dumb just from a little bit of alien cock? What a good human slut. Are you gonna be good for me?â he asked, fingers tightening around your neck. You nodded wordlessly, still unable to form a coherent sentence.
âGonna be a good girl and take it all?â he whispered, holding back a moan as your walls clenched around him. âMhmm,â you moaned. Joshua let out a growl, hips slamming into you now. The base of his cock was trying to breach your hole and each attempt had you crying out in both pain and pleasure.
âFuck,â he groaned. âBe good and let me in.â With one final thrust, you came, tumbling over the edge as he managed to push the base of his cock into you, locking into place as he came, pumping you full of the same thick milky release youâd seen paint his stomach during the live stream.
âThatâs it,â he mumbled as his cock twitched inside you, pumping even more cum. You let out a whine as you felt a slight ache from between your thighs. âStay still,â Joshua murmured in your ear, his grip on your throat loosening. âStay still, baby.â
A moan ripped from your throat as you felt the base of his cock start to swell. âWhatâs that?â you mumbled. You tried to push yourself up but Joshua gently forced you back down. âJust stay still, okay baby? Be good for me.â You did as he asked, receiving praise for your obedience.
After a couple more moments, everything seemed to stop. Chancing a glance downwards, you could see that your lower stomach was slightly distended. Swollen almost. âThat was a lot of cum,â Joshua murmured, pressing a couple of soft kisses to your cheek. âBut you did so well. Took everything I gave you.â You whined, trying to shift under him but he held your hips still.
âYou canât do that. Weâre locked together. If you try to pull away, youâll only hurt yourself or me. Just stay right there,â he cooed. âWhat do you mean, locked together?â you asked. âRemember the knot?â he asked softly. You shook your head. âWhat knot?â
âAt the base of my cock is a knot. When I came, I pushed it inside you,â he explained. A brief flash of pain shot through you at the memory. You did remember that. âAnd then it started to swell,â he continued. âWell, now itâs swollen and locked in place. If I try to pull out, itâll only hurt. So we have to wait for the swelling to go down before I can pull out,â he added.
You sighed, resting your cheek against the sheets. âHow long will that take?â you asked as he gently caressed your thighs, massaging your muscles. âAbout an hour or so,â he murmured nonchalantly. âAn hour?â you asked incredulously, lifting your head. âMhmm,â he hummed. âAbout an hour and then youâll need to go to the bathroom to get all of that out of you,â he added, reaching a hand around to press against your stomach. âAnd then we can go again,â he said with a smile as he nuzzled against your shoulder.Â
âIâm not done with you just yet.â
Â©ïž kwanisms 2018 - 2025 | all written and artistic works on this blog are protected under copyright. reposts, continuations, and translations of my works are not permitted. All graphics made by me.
#keopihausnet#svthub#kvanity#ksmutsociety#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen fanfiction#seventeen fanfic#seventeen smut#seventeen x reader#joshua hong scenarios#joshua hong imagines#joshua hong fanfiction#joshua hong fanfic#joshua hong smut#joshua hong x reader
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I need comfort please đđđ Iâm so mentally drained right now itâs unreal to be honest but Iâm pushing through it as much as I can. Can you do a single mom reader x ghoap (ghost x soap) and then falling instantly in love when the crotch goblin runs up to soap speaking gibberish but pointing at his Mohawk then at his own as to tell him heâs matching then grabs ghost hands and just repeats mama as reader is shouting for him and looking for him about to have an anxiety attack.
author's note: Hey, I just wanted to clarify something. Iâve noticed that âcomfort ficsâ sometimes get published quickly after being requested, which might give the impression that I prioritize them. However, thatâs not the caseâevery fic is written and published in the order it was requested.
If you requested this piece, you might have noticed that I didnât publish it immediately after seeing it. Please know that I donât rush requests out of order. The only time I made an exception was for an emergency request, but I now realize that was a mistake, as some people overlooked my authorâs note explaining it was a one-time thing. Iâm sorry for any confusion, and I appreciate your patience!
Little Hands, Big Hearts
The bustling chatter of the park blurred into background noise as you frantically scanned the area, heart pounding like a war drum against your ribs. One moment, your little one had been right next to you, chubby fingers curled around yours, and the nextâgone. Panic wrapped its icy fingers around your throat as you called out his name, voice trembling, breath coming out in frantic gasps.
Your mind was already spiraling into worst-case scenarios. Kidnapped? Hurt? Lost and scared? Your vision blurred as anxiety clawed at your chest. Just as you were about to fall apart completely, a familiar laugh cut through the chaos, warm and amused.
"Oi, look at this, Ghost. Got a wee lad tryin' to match me!"
Your breath hitched as you turned toward the sound. There, standing just a few feet away, was your sonâyour whole worldâgrinning up at a man with a bright red mohawk, his tiny hands pointing excitedly at his own messy tuft of hair before reaching out to the manâs head in wonder. Relief hit you like a tidal wave, nearly knocking you off balance.
Johnny "Soap" MacTavish stood in all his broad-shouldered glory, crouching to be at eye level with your giggling boy. Next to him, a much larger figure loomed, clad in tactical gear and a familiar skull mask, his usually unreadable eyes soft with curiosity.
Ghost.
But it wasnât the sight of them that made your chest tightenâit was the way your son had latched onto Ghostâs gloved hand, chubby fingers squeezing tight as he looked up at him with big, adoring eyes and declared in a firm, happy voice:
"Mama."
Ghost stiffened for a moment, his head tilting ever so slightly as if he wasnât sure heâd heard correctly. Soap snorted, clapping a hand on his friendâs arm.
"Well, mate, looks like you just got promoted."
At that moment, you finally found your voice.
"Oh my God, there you are!" You rushed forward, breath still shaky as you reached for your son, scooping him into your arms. Your legs nearly gave out from the relief of feeling his warmth against you. "Donât you ever run off like that again, sweetheart!"
Your son, blissfully unaware of your near meltdown, simply giggled and pointed at Soap again. "Match!" he declared proudly, patting his own head.
Soap let out a hearty laugh. "Aye, we do match, buddy! Got yourself some good taste, I see."
You swallowed hard, trying to calm the erratic beating of your heart. It was only then that you noticed both men watching you, Soapâs grin easygoing and Ghostâs gaze unreadable, though there was something softer there, something... understanding. It was a look that made you feel less embarrassed for your panic, as if they had seen the same fear before, felt it in their own way.
"Sorry about that," you muttered, cheeks burning. "Heâhe just really likes hair. And apparently, hands."
Ghost, much to your shock, simply hummed before shifting his grip slightly so he was properly holding your sonâs tiny hand. "Sâfine. Heâs got good instincts."
Soap beamed. "That, and heâs got good taste in company."
"Better taste than you," Ghost muttered, earning a mock-offended gasp from Soap.
"Rude!"
You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head. "Guess I owe you both a thank you for keeping him entertained while I lost my mind for a second."
"No thanks needed," Ghost murmured, glancing down at your son, who had started humming to himself, perfectly content holding onto the both of them. "We donât mind."
"Nah, we like him. Heâs got spirit." Soap ruffled your son's hair, grinning. "You ever thought about training him early? We could use another recruit."
"Oh, absolutely not," you replied, horrified but amused at the thought of your little one running around with military-grade weapons. "Heâs wild enough already."
Soap laughed, while Ghost merely nodded as if he were filing away that information.
And in that moment, standing there with your little one nestled safely in your arms, flanked by two larger-than-life soldiers who had melted at the presence of a tiny, mohawked toddler, you felt something warm bloom in your chest.
Maybe, just maybe, you werenât as alone in this as you thought. Maybe, for the first time in a long while, you had found something that felt like safetyâlike home.
#simon riley x reader#cod mw2#ghost simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#mw2 x reader#cod imagine#ghost cod#ghost mw2#ghost#cod ghost#simon riley x you#ghost x you#cod x reader#simon riley imagine#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader x soap#ghoap x reader
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any anti-problematic community/"problematic" community itself
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i think only in cat pictures srry
Oh my god, I love all your cat pictures â€ïžđ and shit, yeah, to be fair they can totally both look like the cats on the left, I have witnessed some things in my wonky wobbly time on the Internet. But the people simply enjoying art and enjoying their friends art without shaming them for what they read, create, or find creative satisfaction in are truly the best â€ïž the right picture is how human creation should be; not a competition, not a moral grandstanding, but like coming around a table to share and indulge in each other's cooking, loving brewed teas, and passing big bowls and plates of food around-- deciding if something is to their taste and if not, they happily pass it over to someone who would enjoy it far more rather than decide it shouldn't be enjoyed by anyone at all because cranberry sauce is too bitter and icky for them.
We were meant to share and support each other, not walk on eggshells and virtue signal to our so-called friends that Look! Look! We're the Good Ones. People are going to hate you for pretty much anything you do, someone out there will hate you for the smallest, innocuous thing, they'll think you're horrible and awful and undeserving for just existing, so the best you can do is prop up your friends, even their artistic interests you don't understand, even the ways in which you can't figure out how they can stomach certain storylines. It's not productive to try and understand everything and everyone. It's not productive to train yourself to have knee jerk reactions to certain words, to be hyper vigilant of every miniscule detail, of trying to weed out Us from Them when the lines blur so fucking much. When I know for a fact people who condemn works like mine are the very ones to read them, to read my fiction and claim it's somehow a cut above the rest, that it does it all "right"-- which it doesn't, it's not, it's ugly and raw and it feels slimy and unproductive to know people hold stories like pretty boy snuff film up against others.
And in the same breath it's not productive to allow your triggers or discomforts to dictate the decisions of others (insert all of groupthink throughout history and today here).
I hope for people to one day be able to have the image on the right and that they move away from friends who would stab them in the back given half the chance. I hope that the people who read my fics and enjoy them and discuss them with their friends, who have to be so, so careful about what they say and feel as if they're being watched, stalked, and made to curb their most honest reactions and feelingsâ I hope they too find people who will let them speak openly and without fear of unfounded retaliation.
I hope for everyone to be able to share themselves wholly and completely, their darkest works and their thoughts included; how else are we gonna learn to grow and shape ourselves, y'know? How else can we learn to relate with others without being honest with ourselves.
Get freaky with it. And find people who support your work for you, not for the act of doing it all good or right, but for doing it bad and not giving a fuck. For fucking up grammar, for fucking up spelling, for getting gross and weird and wrong and complicated. For feeling safe and secure in your ability to create and your ability to share as you were meant to.
There are people out there; you don't gotta stick with assholes who'd sell you for a corn chip and some Purity Points. Keep looking and keep making â€ïž
#answered asks#sorry this turned into a whole thing đ#i love when you send you silly cat memes â€ïž#i just have been thinking too much lately and seeing some things that had me going hmmmm...#thank you for your asks as always â€ïž
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger đ#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less đ«¶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like đ. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.đat least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheeseeđžđž
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đ„ș
#this is after Sebastian kills Solomon#eloise understands and could never turn him inđ„ș#theyâre both so similar#honestly I feel likeâŠ#living with intense guilt the rest of their lives is enough punishment#but even if they feel guilt over the things they do#at the same time they would never actually do things differently even if they could travel back in time#bc in the moment it was Solomon or them and anything else wouldnât have been Permanent enough (in their minds)#like Eloise does things that give her with panic attacks in the future but she would always do them again#bc the well-being of people she loves & of herself is her priority#and Sebastian is the sameâŠ#sorry if this is ramblingâŠI have finally succumbed to Covid#and I have a high feverđđđđđđđ every day I feel WORSEâŠ#maybe thst is why I drew an angst drawingđ#anyways I could write up a whole post (more eloquent more thinking) about how I feel about these things#and how these two are kind of unhealthy for each other#bc they see things a lot of times as us vs themâŠ#wow who knows if these tags even make senseđł my fever is like 38°âŠ#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow fanart
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every time Iâm forced to see this image bc I have to describe whatâs wrong w it to dumb ass ppl a small part of me dies
cw: ugly ass emo whitewashed genshin man
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#ppl pointedly ignoring the part where I talk abt how heâs whitewashed#look idgaf if they wanna give n*tlan a more modern vibe but this doesnât make any fucking sense#how are you gonna take inspo form a nigerian god then make him look like this đđđ#somebody said in response to me calling him ugly asf and whitewashed âerm but isnât he a vampireâ SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#bro speedran becoming the ugliest character#I genuinely have no words#well actually I do#could probably write an essay on everything that bothers me abt this game#the worst part is probably that it has so many likable elements abd interesting shit and then at the same time being vile#like how do I explain that the g*nshin lore truly is fascinating but the ability to take it serious and enjoy it plummet when you see the#other shit. frustrating asf#also the fact that only h*yoverse games seem to stay relevant and therefor get to have basically endless content is js đđđđ#but also having some of the most frustrating fandoms and annoying ass people in said fandoms#like the rampant casual racism everywhere#sorry this turned into a whole ass essay đđ#Iâm js sad n angry that the thing I used to love turns out to be bigger shit than when I left it#like wow#usually I can enjoy revisiting old fandoms n stuff but this is gen ass#bullshitting
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Imagine telling levi he was originally meant to be a yandere hehe
L:"well then what am I supposed to be if I'm not a yandere?"
MC:"...moe~âĄ"
Levi would be blushing and crying at the same time, his weeb ass (/lovingly ADHKGDH) would be in a corner stuttering and proceeds to scream in a pillow. Thinking to himself âWhat the hell MC?!?! Me, moe?!? If anything, YOUâRE the one whoâs totes moe! How DARE you say that to my face so boldly!â
Heâd be told heâs a yandere probably mockingly imo, and of course heâs not fond of it given heâs already insecure and would be afraid to harm you in any way.
That said, Leviâs definitely the type to react very aggressively to being praised and complimented LMAOO- unlike Mammon, heâs flailing his arms and hands wanting to bury himself from embarrassment. It can be the smallest thing, but he will take it to heart because heâs usually so self-deprecating. đ„č
#obey me x reader#obey me leviathan#leviathan x reader#obey me levi#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#sorry I know it was the whole yandere trope but I associate it to toxic relationships đ#so I turned it into a positive thing eee#hope you donât mind nonny đ
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sighs dreamily Do you guys think alex kralie would fw david cronenberg's filmography
#SPECIFICALLY crash 1996. oh my god l#AM GOING TO LOSE MY MINd#i feel like he'd fw with crash and videodrome but complain that the fly was too weird LMFAO#he makes jay watch crash with him once and jay sits through the whole thing feeling mildly horrified and simultaneously a little turned on#ALEX ASKING HIM WHEN THE MOVIES OVER IF HES EVER BEEN IN A CAR CRASH. GUH#SORRY ILL SHUT UP NOW đ#might make a fic about this. idk#alex kralie#marble hornets#slenderverse#si yaps#david cronenberg#crash 1996#jaylex#<- because of the tags. and the implication
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this but carlo & morettiđđ€š thats all thank you
#i caaaaaaaaaaaaant find the whole piece bc apparently they deleted this book from the public domainđđđfuckers#but context: john torrio is in the hospital after an attempted murder#1931-32 idk failed murder attempt on moretti real hashtag canon now hashtag in my head#carlo & moretti#m2#also whatever funny thing: this is capone's biography written by one rus author and#they released this book as part of the âlives of wonderful peopleâ series(đ)#and fucked it up badly bc it caused an outcry and the book had to be reissued (tho stalin's biography is in this series like fr tfđ)#<- and ok i was googling this book & turns out that in the 1st edition contained a shit ton of photos#i took reprinted ver in the library & w like 1 photo in it#fuck now i regret it sm đ but it was like the only available choice in the nearest libraries#i mean no this is actually ridiculous to print capone's biography in this series but ehh it's always so good#in terms of illustrative material so its upsetting#also second funny thing: was takin another books in the library today and GOD SEES american history sections are always so fucking funny#âthe shameful history of americaâ ârotten capitalismâ and other such titles#dear god âu wanna fuck me so bad it makes u look stupidâ situation. sorry its a n1 red flag to me when history books have such titles#no u dont do it this way. not âour gloriously prosperous countryâ vs âthese disgusting other countries"#funny stuff. top 10 epic fail moments 0 swag 0 respect when this grandpa will finally die
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\\
#Fifteen episode 2. Mmmmmmhhhhhh#The animation quality DOES get worse. This episode shows it lol#So many static frames stretching for so long... I feel so sorry for the animators.#I still stand by the fact that if studios can't provide enough budget or time to their animators seasons simply shouldn't be released.#But after all who am I to talk...#The scene of Dazai shooting at the soldier makes my blood freeze. Rimbaud throwing books in the fire is equally upsetting#Like I /know/ it's an anime about literature with constant metafiction referencesâ#and that this too has a symbolic meaning and is *supposed* to be upsetting but that said.#Seeing whole books being thrown in the fire is such a disturbing sight that calls for such a visceral response in me đđđ#The amv opening is nice! Makes me even more bitter about season 5 one lmao. Of the kind#ânot only we had to get a amv opening (((while we deserved a wholly ss/kk focused opening)))â we even got a bad amv ending at thatâ#Mmmmhhhh I hateeeeeee how they handled the Sheep đđđđđđđđđ Seriously this is just another bug instance of#âme and the author have WHOLLY different views of what human nature is likeâ#I just... Don't think... Children joining together in an hostile environment would act like that. I'm so much more of a t/pn kind of guy.#Children who come together to survive would protect each other and especially would trust each other. Why is there such a big lack of trust#Why doesn't Shirase trust Chuuya? Why doesn't Chuuya trust Shirase (with handling more information)? It's just dumb#It's dumb. It sounds stupid from the very plot aspect that Chuuya would act so shady and suspicious with the Sheep instead of being openâ#about what his course of action is. It's like he was trying to have them turn on him. It's stupid of Shirase to mistrust Chuuyaâ#when in eight years he never gave them any reason to doubt of him.#And I know right as I'm writing this that someone is going to read it and think âyou're completely missing on the unbalance of power thatâ#creates these dynamics of lack of trustâ but the thing is exactly that I don't see why that unbalance of power would ever come to be!#They're all just kids. They're aware of that. If Chuuya never had malicious intentions towards Shiraseâ I don't see why he would ever fearâ#his betrayal. Likewiseâ I don't see why Shirase and the other Sheep members would ever be so manipulative and disrespectful towardsâ#Chuuya if he's been nothing but kind to them (and we have no reason to think otherwise)?#It all comes down to: I think people are inherently good and willing to help each other. The author thinks not lmao. It is what it is#But I wish you could see t/pn. Where kids are constantly trying to outwit each other in order to OUT-SACRIFICE THEMSELVES for the others lo#I love t/pn it's my life... I miss it#random rambles#And if anyone would like to argue that Dazai specifically set them off to betray each other... Yes I DO understand that's what the storyâ#is suggesting. I just don't think Dazai - for how good. and infallible he is - is enough to scrape long-term relationships of trust.
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2 days till my final exam rant in tags sorry i gotta let it spill somewhere đ
#IM DYINGGGG#there are so many things to memorise#and theyre gonna pick 2 questions from a list of 60?????#and my whole degree relies on this?????#im sorry who the hell thought of this system#id MUCH rather write a 2h long exam than have to orally answer questions for 10mins fr#and if i get a topic i dont fully understand thatâs it. itâs over for me#bc u have to answer both to pass#they should at least let us pick 2 out of 3 or something đ#i also hate my procrastinating ass#i shoulda been doing 15qs a day and ive been doing between 1 and 5#and now i have 50 questions (so probably around 70A4 pages) to memorise by THURSDAY AT 9AM#i swear to god why do i always do this#also turns out that for the thesis presentation itâs forbidden to use notes đ#I AM NOT GOOD AT SPEAKING I AM NOT GOOD AT THIBKING MY MEMORY SUCKS HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PASS THIS#im so fucking anxious#but funniest thing is IM STILL ACTIVELY PROCRASTINATING#LIKE??? ISNT THE PRESSURE ENOUGH YET??????#i fucking KNOW for a FACT even if i started studying RIGHT NOW i probably wont make it with all the questions by the exam date#and i skipped ALL THE HARDEST ONES FOR NOW#i swear to god guys im gonna go fucking crazy with this#i know itâs nearly over but itâs KILLING MEEEEE#please why cant i skip time to when itâs over#help me manifest not getting a finance/law question pls guys#hela yaps
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saw too many ppl having awful takes on nerevar and voryn and the tribunal etc etc on twitter, so now im drawing soft sweet nerevoryn bc i can. im going to balance out all the negative energies in this fandom, one drawing at a time đ«¶đ
#every couple of months without fail theres a repeat of the same old discourse#(the whole foul murder thing. and also ''voryn was actually also guilty of killing nerevar blablabla'')#im not hearing u lol morrowind's been out for 22 years. we dont need to have the same discussion over and over again#live and let live. let people interpret characters however they want. let people enjoy fiction#you dont get to dictate how these characters should be portrayed#im going to romanticise morrowind's main storyline and nerevoryn till the end of days#and if that makes u irrationally upset then im sorry for u. hope u get better soon. but im allowed to enjoy harmless silly fiction#im allowed to turn this story into a fairytale. im allowed to portray nerevar as a genuinely heroic character. im allowed to girlify voryn.#lets stop having the same dumb fandom discourse every year#its gotten so boring đ let it go#voryn might as well be my oc at this point bc i literally gave her a whole personality and family and backstory and also shes a woman now#u can all just seethe idc đ and whats up with nerevar not being allowed to be a genuinely benevolent character???#why does every character have to be morally grey (if not straight up villainous)??? what if i dont want him to be like that? đ#hes literally divine to me. hes a star. hes celestial. hes not really mortal. hes all of my ideals put into one character#and voryn is p much a mirror of me#i put so much of myself into these characters! thats what fiction is for!!! u ARE supposed to project onto them!!!#arggh lets drop the senseless discourse i cant take it anymore lol đ
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remember how i mentioned that my dad's friend suggested he'll teach me this program so i might work in his high-tech company bc he "remembers that [i'm] a smart person". anyway i went to his house yesterday to discuss the whole thing and he asked me what, like, education i have and if i've studied anything after high school to which i very slowly said "i- uh- mostly, um, arts" and when i tell you i could see this man's eyes instantly fill with regret,
#he's very nice for this but i'm also still so confused đđđ and i'm ngl guys. i do not want to work with computers#i'll learn this program and try it out a bit mostly out of politeness but the chances of me actually sticking to it are very low#(they're not gonna pay me at first anyway unless i show i can actually do the work. which i highly doubt)#it does sound like. ok so he's gonna retire soon. and someone needs to replace him. and he knows i'm not doing anything#and it worked before. apparently he got another guy a job in this company and now he's doing really well there#but i just think a job like that would truly make me even more miserable lol#like even if i did well in it. it would be the embodiment of everything i fear to become. does that make sense#(but i also sincerely doubt i'll do well in it when. as i've said. i've got no experience with anything like it!!!)#(i don't think acting school and the basics of makeup is gonna help me there đđđđđ)#idk i'm just so stressed abt this whole thing. i'm grateful and ik others would kill for an opportunity like this#but also. i would rather die than do this sort of work. to be frank#. this turned into a vent lmao sorry. like i said very stressed!
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im so embarrassed I told this teacher from my class that I will study her subject on my own when she texted to ask why wasn't i attending batches and
#now that I couldn't find any good faculty on youtube i was like fuck it ill just watch hers#and it's actually really fucking good#i feel so bad was i incredibly rude i mjst have sounded so ungrateful and bitchy omg#well they do have a test on 16th maybe ill give the test and then text her to say that i actually watched your lectures#and they helped a lot sorry for not attending live#i think i was just scared kf this subject. like fr it gives me the creeps#it's all incomprehensible theory and in inter too i just watched a marathon learned a compiler and scored exactly 40/100#(passing marks) and that must have been with the help of mcqs#like i just don't understand this like whaaaaat are you even talking about it all sounds the same to me#it still makes me uncomfortable because there's nothing concrete like i wish there were sums could solve and practice#but it's fine i have to do it because i have like 8 months left so why tf take chances#they had a strategy session organised on sunday and the ma'am was like from today to exam in nov#you should give one hour a day everyday to audit#and you need to revise the ENTIRE subject minimum 4 times#and then you'll be somewhat sure of getting like 50 marksđđ#this very cool tax sir from my classes the only person i look up to he said that when he studied#he used to study 4 subjects daily because like if you just study 1 subject the first hour of studying it and the last hour of studying it#will be wildly different you'll retain much much much less#and like. ive always studied one subject a day my whole life but maybe he's right#plus that way i would HAVE to study many hours in a day because if i miss the time window to study a subject#i wouldn't be able to study it at all#so yeah i think im gonna do that from now#also i fucking realised that my stomach hurts because i have. um. loose motions actually#like wtf is wrong with my body STOP IT STOP BEING SICK#ive never had it this bad so I didn't realise that was what was happening đ then i realised that oh right that's how the rest of my famil#gets it they eat something and it immediately doesn't settle well#ridiculous i don't even know how to fix it google keeps saying brat diet but like wtf is applesauce??#and im so sick of eating bland food i ate khichdi like 5 times in the span of a week because i had tonsils and it was the only thing that#wouldn't hurt. whatever. is this tmi.#also should i make a studyblr lol im ranting herein so much detail ugh this degree has turned me into a nerd yuck
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one goofy ass thing i like about my job is we all really like having staff feedback after programs (like after in service, after summer reading, etc) because it just makes it easier to make it actually helpful and easier next time around and thatâs all we want right, like PERSONALLY i donât want to be anxious about a program and dreading it all year, which means i get to do what i Love which is offer my opinion constructively so i can be like âi think some people just donât understand paylocity, it is a little confusing & for them, going through that app is this scary time sink so they donât open it ever.â and no one is taking it personally because five other people wrote in âbeanstack scares meâ and âiâm not using teamsâ and we can just adjust our expectations of our older coworkers instead of writing people up for it akskd.
#i was like âânot me tho i get it but maybe ask [tech person] to do an explainer? i believe they have a whole bit about thisâ#and then we get a explainer on it the next in service and all the tech afraid people are like âoh you can turn it on on the desktop?â yes đ#we had a whole thing about office bc theyâve tried to explain they pinned the âPOLICIES AND PROCEDURES ON REPORTED LOST CHILDâ on the#share point bc itâs a library thatâs something that happens on a semi regular basis and we live off a busy street itâs important to make#sure the kid didnât wander out of the building those cars Will mow you down.#and the collective âOH!â when they showed us how to get to the sharepoint. i figured that out day 2.#i bookmarked the page and added my own books marks. like half of them were shocked.#they have been here 10 years or more. đ#i like to say âi love hearing about what the director does during the day i think the projects are all fascinatingâ bc i think phrasing a#compliment for like ~admin transparency~ as a compliment is imo the best way to reward admin transparency.#also tbh yes it Is interesting to me like being a director is honestly a lot about Building Maintenence as it is budget and networking and#managing big problems with staff etc. itâs honestly fascinating how much she has to know about upkeep as director.#also. listen iâm sorry i love being bribed with food. have office hours with snacks. give me an excuse not to work.#i loved staff day at goodwill too i loved not dealing w work and badgering the corporate guy while the managers worked the front#and then getting pizza. they would grill for us on employee appreciation day.#do u know what my department store did. they gave us a payday bar.#that shits insulting like just donât do anything? u Kno u pay shit and have is on these ass schedules whatâs your problem why are u gloating#now ya closed!#itâs karma!#anyways this one is nice i think my manager is really bad at schedules and this is a gripe iâve heard from wveryon so itâs not just me but#itâs other wise as everyone puts it ânot nearly as toxic as other librariesâ like no one here is actively committing psychological warfare#over some office job nonsense. our patrons arenât actively trying to get us shut down. thatâs a nice change.
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