#sorry this is very badly thought out I just. that scene shook me real bad man

[weird-fact-collection]

Content warning: suicide, major-ish spoilers for Disco Elysium

One thing I've never seen other disco elysium fans talk about is the fact that Ruby can kill herself if you fail the rhetoric check to decide to let her go. And you get this fucking dialogue.

If you've internalized Finger on the Eject Button you can also get:

Like, out of all the moments in the game, this one -- when I failed the check and she died -- this was the one that left me the most emotionally distraught. I put down the game and worked on other things for the rest of the night because I couldn't just go to sleep after that.

It was probably also the first time I used Fayde too, because I really wanted to know what the alternative outcome was. And it's similarly fascinating:

The linchpin of the actual case of Disco Elysium is ultimately that Klaasje (and Ruby) decided to stage a lynching rather than call the cops due to desperation, because if they did, Klaasje would end up facing the Moralintern. Ruby fled due to desperation after Klaasje called the cops anyway. Like, the fact that Klaasje can be arrested and Ruby can die seem to me to be the most damning critiques of policing to be found in the game. Punishment under retributive justice is so world-ending that staging a lynching is preferable to finding the killer, that death is preferable to facing it.

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [two] // wanda maximoff

summary: your crush begins to get more intense for Wanda, ensuing awkwardness between you both

warning/s: none

author's note: so glad you’re all liking this, here’s part two! 🥰

part one | part three | part four | part five | masterlist | wattpad

I knew it was a dream as soon as it began. Dreams never tricked me as I always detected something didn't feel right and figured out it wasn't real. But that was my only 'talent' with dreams, as everything else was left down to my subconscious. I couldn't control them, break away from the script or deviate from the scene in any way. I just knew when it wasn't real.

Admittedly, it took a little longer for me to recognise this one was a dream compared to others I'd had. It just seemed so normal as I headed into Chemistry class, seeing other students filing in and joining their partners. Mr. Hale was at the front of the class, occupied by his laptop and the projector, and it felt like any other day at school. The lights were off and the blinds were closed slightly, leaving the room in darkness except for the light from the board.

"Are we watching a film or something?" I asked Wanda as I set my bag on the desk beside her, earning her attention.

She looked up from her notepad and smiled widely, blue eyes sparkling in the darkness. "You're here, you took forever!"

"You saw me two lessons ago," I teased, taking a seat beside her.

She moved closer to me, hands immediately moving to my left one, playing with my fingers mindlessly. It felt right at the time, but I knew deep down that this wasn't real. In what world would this happen?

"Still," she mumbled adorably, before meeting my eyes. "We're watching some video about the periodic table."

I hummed, glancing at Mr. Hale as he struggled to pull up the video.

"Thank God because I couldn't be bothered doing work," Wanda added with a sigh, before moving closer to me, leaning on the palm of her hand as the other held mine still. "D'you think you can cover for me whilst I sneak in a nap?"

I stifled a laugh, moving closer and admiring the way her eyes changed colour in the light from the board. "I'm sure you're supposed to be paying attention."

She scrunched her nose, an uninterested smile on her lips, and it made my heart flutter.

"Fine, I'll cover for you," I gave in easily, before pressing a kiss to her nose.

She giggled quietly and when I pulled back, she leaned in and kissed my lips. Her free hand moved to the back of my neck as I rested mine on her lap, closing my eyes and falling into her without question. Okay, so yeah, definitely a dream, but I wasn't complaining.

"If Miss Maximoff and Miss Y/L/N can kindly stop making out, then we can begin the lesson," Mr. Hale announced, breaking Wanda and I's kiss.

Some of the class snickered as we separated from each other's hold, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. He gave us a fed up look.

"Thank you," he said, before erupting into a speech about today's lesson.

When he started the video, I leaned forward on the desk to get comfortable and felt Wanda do the same, leaning her head on my arm and continuing to play with my hand. I smiled to myself, kissing the top of her head gently before getting comfortable. It all seemed too good to be true, but God was it a nice thought.

When I woke up the next morning with butterflies in my stomach, I groaned loudly. I knew I'd screwed myself over. I was in too deep. Dreaming about Wanda was not good, not good at all...

And it definitely didn't help when I showed up to class that same day, approaching my table and an already-seated Wanda. Just a dream, I told myself as I took a seat. Not real. And not a big deal.

"Good morning," she greeted when I sat down and pulled my books out. Her usual picture perfect smile was on her lips as she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "How are you?"

Trying my best not to think about my dream, I gave her a small smile. "G-good, yeah."

Fuck me, why did I stutter?

"You sure? You seem distracted," she noticed, making me swallow hard and look away from her piercing gaze.

"Yeah," I managed to say without stuttering once again. "Just tired. What about you?"

"Same," she said with a breathy chuckle, her leg brushing mine under the table and making me freeze. She didn't seem to notice as she continued, "I stayed up late binge-watching Netflix. Probably the wrong choice, but here we are."

I bit my lip to contain a laugh, relaxing a little. It was just a dream. She wasn't that bad. I was fine!

Class started and Mr. Hale was explaining something about doing a practical experiment today, but if I'm being honest, I was barely listening. Stuck in a daydream, I was wiggling my pen in my right hand and staring at the display behind Mr. Hale's head mindlessly.

Suddenly, a warm hand rested on mine, pressing it to the table and stopping me from shaking my pen. I shit you not, my heart stopped when I saw Wanda smirking playfully at me.

"D'you mind?" she asked, clearly finding my wiggling pen distracting.

All I could think about was how soft and warm her hand was, and then I became aware of her bare leg still brushing against mine – she just had to wear a dress today, didn't she? – and then the fact that she was still staring at me with amusement dancing in her eyes. My dream from last night returned to mind as she was still yet to remove her hand and I was lucky I managed to find my words as I choked out a response.

"S-sorry," I said, frozen in place, yet again, by Wanda's presence.

She snickered, shaking her head at my dismay, before finally letting go of my hand. I licked my lips nervously and let go of my pen, but not quite finding the energy to move my hand. I could still feel the warmth of her hand lingering on mine and, oh God, this was getting worse by the second. Why did I have to have that stupid dream?!

Clearly distracted by my own stupidity, I failed to realise that Mr. Hale had let us begin with our experiment, whatever that may be as I wasn't listening. Wanda was nudging me slightly, bringing me back into reality, and said something about getting lab coats and goggles whilst I got the bunsen burner.

I watched her leave and massaged my head, telling myself to get my act together. I was not the stupid cliché of a girl who acted nervous around her crush. I was better than that, goddamn it.

After getting the bunsen burner, I hooked it up to the gas tap as Wanda returned with our lab coats and safety goggles. We both put them on before Wanda gave me a knowing look, humoured smile tugging at her lips. I was beginning to hate (love) that look.

"You totally weren't paying attention during that, were you?" she asked, but she definitely already knew the answer.

"'Course I was," I played it cool, before wandering over to the handout on our desk. "We're doing an experiment."

She chuckled as I distracted myself with reading the instructions.

"So it says the first instruction is to boil some water in a beaker," I said with a nod. "Seems easy enough. Just gotta get a beaker."

My mouth went dry when Wanda hunched down on the desk, reading the paper between us. I hoped she couldn't hear how fast my heart was beating in my chest.

"You think you can manage that one?" she teased, glancing up at me with that same playful smirk on her lips.

Her eyes twinkled with mischief, similar to the one her twin possessed on a regular basis, and I'd never felt more stuck in place in my life than I did now. Without thinking, my gaze lowered to her lips and I realised then and there how badly I wanted to feel her lips against mine for real. She was so close I could move forward a mere few inches and feel it, but I didn't.

"Y-yeah, I'll get it now," I stumbled out, before literally stumbling over the stool as I made a move to leave.

I tried to ignore the way her gaze followed me and instead focused on getting to the beakers without passing out. To my relief, Y/BF/N was also collecting a beaker for him and his partner, too. When I stopped by his side, he looked up to see who it was, then smiled.

"You alright?" he asked, sensing my panic.

I shook my head frantically. "Definitely not. This is really bad, Y/BF/N."

Y/BF/N furrowed his brows, making me give him the look, to which he eventually followed what I meant.

"What happened?" he asked, trying (and failing) to hide his amusement.

I made sure nobody was nearby or could hear us before admitting, "I had a dream."

He raised his eyebrows suggestively, making me slap him on the arm quickly.

"Not that kind of dream, you perv," I clarified, before sighing. "But a dream. About you-know-who. And it threw me off and now I can't seem to act like a human."

He snorted as he tried not to laugh. I glared at him, shoving him again, making him laugh out loud.

"I'm sorry," he defended. "It's just– you've got it bad."

"Very helpful." I narrowed my eyes.

"Look, it's new which is why you're all awkward," he said knowingly, collecting his beaker. "It'll eventually pass when you get used to it. Until then, try not to do anything stupid."

"Too late," I mumbled under my breath.

He patted me reassuringly before leaving. I grabbed a beaker and turned around, deciding to take it easy. I'd get over it. I always did. I wasn't stupid. Yeah, I wasn't stupid. I had this!

But that thinking immediately went out the window when I approached our workspace and saw Wanda leaning on the desk, looking over the handout with thought. Her hair was pulled back for safety reasons, exposing her tensed jaw and pursed lips. She was wearing her lab coat over her black, knee-length dress and I'm not gonna lie, she looked extremely sexy today because she was wearing matching black knee-high boots. I gulped.

God help me.

—

You'd be relieved to know that my crush on Wanda died down after a while. Not in the way that I no longer had a crush on her – God knew I was overflowing with feelings for her – but in the way that I was getting a lot better at hiding it.

Which was perfect for when I saw her with her dick of a boyfriend. You'd be surprised how many times he kept popping up. And when he did, I always seemed to want to strangle him.

This time, I was working my new part-time job at a pizza place in town. Y/BF/N was keeping me company on my shift by taking extra long to finish his pizza so we could talk at the counter. I was drying some glasses as we spoke when the door to the parlour opened and the bell jingled, signalling new customers.

"I believe that's your cue," Y/BF/N teased, making me roll my eyes playfully.

My gaze wandered to the door where I saw a small group of teens walking in and finding a seat. It took me a second to realise that it was actually Wanda and her friends, including her boyfriend, who were looking for a table. My eyes widened with surprise as she looked around. Her eyes found mine and an excited smile appeared on her face as she waved to me.

"This just keeps getting better," Y/BF/N said when he saw Wanda heading our way, thankfully without her friends.

I pinched him before straightening up and plastering my best customer service smile on my lips. Wanda stopped before me, smiling between Y/BF/N and I.

"Hey, guys," she greeted brightly, to which Y/BF/N smiled in return, before looking my way and making my stomach flip at how pretty she looked today. "Y/N, I didn't know you worked here!"

"Yeah, it's kinda new," I answered coolly. "Gotta get that extra money, right?"

She nodded before grabbing the tip of my cap on my head and wiggling it, letting out a laugh. "You look adorable in your uniform, I must say."

I forgot how to breathe as she let go of my cap, her eyes still glittering with joy. Y/BF/N tried to hide his laughter as he sipped his drink, meanwhile I felt my neck heating up with embarrassment.

"Th-thanks," I got out nervously. I know what you're thinking – I said I got better at hiding my crush. And I have! I just– why did she have to put me on the spot like this?!

"I should get back," she said after a moment, pointing over her shoulder towards her friends. "But it was nice seeing you. Are you serving us?"

I nodded, regaining composure. "I'll be over in a minute. Give you chance to pick something."

"Awesome," she said sweetly, flashing me a final smile before heading back to her friends.

I released a shaky breath when she left, taking my cap off and massaging my head momentarily.

"I feel like she flirts with you just to see what happens," Y/BF/N said with amusement.

"It's just her personality," I mumbled, before putting my cap back on and taking a deep breath. "Time to work."

I continued to do my job as usual, thankfully not being affected by Wanda's presence, and took their orders. It was pretty uneventful as I served them their food and continued to hang with Y/BF/N by the counter. Every time I'd look over at her out of bad habit, I'd feel uneasy at the sight of Nate having his hands all over her. I mean, obviously he could – he was her boyfriend – but admittedly, I was a little jealous. I tried to ignore the feeling by busying myself with other things.

Wanda's friends were being a little noisier and rowdier than I'd liked, but it wasn't particularly busy so I saw no need to shut them up. Yeah, in hindsight, maybe I should have.

Clearing a table after some customers left, I balanced a tray of glasses in my hand and headed back to the counter. But on the way, a football came out of nowhere and got launched at my chest, making me drop the tray onto the floor with a loud crash. The rowdiness from Wanda's table ceased momentarily, as did the chatter from other customers, and I looked up to see Nate and his friends watching me, trying to suppress laughter.

"I am so sorry," Nate called with anything but guilt.

"Shit, Y/N, you okay?" Y/BF/N said, racing to my side in an instant.

I nodded, clenching my jaw, and bent down to clean up the mess. My boss must have heard the commotion as she came out from the kitchen and saw what happened, putting two and two together.

"Right, all of you out," she ordered without questioning anything, looking to Nate and the rest of the table. "We don't tolerate that tomfoolery here."

They groaned their complaints, but I didn't bother looking up to see, instead focusing on cleaning up the mess. Luckily for me, the tray took most of the hit rather than my chest, so unlike last time, I wasn't hurt.

"You're lucky I'm not charging you for the broken glasses, honey," my boss continued to scold Nate as he walked past, grabbing his football.

I saw feet shuffling past me, presuming it was their table leaving, and focused on picking up the large shards of glass and putting them on the tray. Y/BF/N helped out, even though he didn't need to, and I smiled at him as he knelt opposite me doing the same.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," Wanda's voice grabbed my attention, making me look up. She had a guilty frown on her lips as she looked between the mess and I.

I stood up, shaking my head. "It's fine. It's–" But I stopped speaking, instead letting out an exhausted sigh. "No offence, but your boyfriend is a dick."

She pressed her lips together, not saying anything. I felt bad for saying it, but this was the second time he'd hit me with his stupid ball. It was true.

"I should clean this up," I mumbled, avoiding her eyes. "See you at school."

She opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it. I knelt down and continued to clean up, hoping she'd walk away already. This was awkward enough as it was.

"See you guys at school," she finally spoke, making me pause. "Sorry, again."

Y/BF/N bid her a goodbye before she left for good. I let out another sigh, deciding not to say anything as I continued cleaning up. It would never make sense to me why someone as lovely as Wanda would be with someone as obnoxious as Nate. I guess I'd never know.

—

Since that lovely incident at the pizza parlour, things had been a little distant between Wanda and I. Mostly on my part if I'm being honest. I couldn't help it – the whole situation had been uncomfortable and embarrassing, making it impossible to return to how we usually were.

This meant that Wanda was the one to come to me and check in, which I definitely wasn't expecting.

I was at home one afternoon, hanging with my older sister who was staying with us for a week. She'd moved out a year ago, getting her own place a few towns over, so I missed her presence a lot. I took advantage of her weekly visit by having a catch up as we played basketball in the front drive.

Disclaimer: none of us were good at basketball, but the hoop came with the house and it was simply tradition for us to attempt to shoot baskets as we had a catch up. Only, this time, as we were talking, a loud car engine pulled us from our chat and we both spun around to see an unfamiliar car parking up.

"That must be mum's customer," Y/S/N realised, holding the basketball underneath her arm. She glanced at me with a quirked brow. "You think we're gonna get roped into helping?"

"Most definitely," I answered with a chuckle, and just on cue, our mum opened the garage door behind us.

She was a florist and had a large pick-up delivery for a customer today. Apparently they were a good friend, so she had the flowers delivered to our house and they were waiting in our garage until now.

"Can you girls give me a hand?" she asked my sister and I, motioning for us to go to her. "I'm gonna say hi. Just start bringing the crates out, yeah?"

We both saluted playfully before watching her go to the customer's car. My jaw dropped when I saw who it was – Wanda's mum. And to top things off, Wanda and Pietro were both with her, the three of them getting out of their car and greeting my mum with smiles on their faces.

"You cool?" my sister asked, nudging me slightly.

I closed my mouth, straightening up. "Yeah, yeah, duh."

She gave me a funny look but grabbed a crate and began to leave it in the drive for the moment. I swallowed the lump in my throat and did the same, knowing both Wanda and Pietro were approaching us after my mum pointed them our way.

"Y/N, hey," Wanda said, stopping before my sister and I. She gave my sister a friendly smile before looking to me with nervous eyes. "It's good to see you."

I tried to say something – anything – but my words got stuck in my throat and all that came out was a weird noise. Partially because of the awkwardness between us at my fault and partially because of how pretty she looked in her sundress.

"Hi, I'm Y/S/N," my sister cut in, noticing my quietness. She gave me a sideways glance before looking to the twins. "It's Wanda and Pietro, right?"

"Yeah," Wanda said with a smile, eyes lingering on mine before looking to my sister. "We're just helping our mum out to load the car."

"I'm the muscle," Pietro joked, lifting his bicep, making Wanda roll her eyes jokingly.

"Okay, muscle, you can come help me get these out the garage," my sister played along before looking to Wanda and I. "You guys okay to load the car?"

Wanda nodded. "Sure thing."

Y/S/N grabbed Pietro, who shot me a friendly smile, before leaving Wanda and I alone.

"Your sister seems nice," Wanda tried to make conversation as we both grabbed a crate and took it to the back of her mum's car.

"Yeah," I agreed uncomfortably. "She's just visiting."

Wanda hummed in acknowledgment, neither of us knowing what else to say. We walked past our chatting mothers before setting the crates in the back of her mum's car.

"Are we okay?" Wanda asked suddenly, as soon as our hands were free. I looked to her and saw she was debating something internally before looking to me. "I mean, I know we're okay, but I just– I feel like you've been off since, well... since Nate threw that ball at you."

My neck heated up with embarrassment as I cleared my throat; my eyes fell to the flowers in the crates.

"I really am sorry," she apologised again, resting a hand on my forearm, sending shivers up my spine. "He can be such a jerk sometimes. Does stuff without thinking."

"You don't need to apologise," I said, finally lifting my eyes to meet her anxious green ones. And I meant it – Nate's idiocy wasn't her fault and it was harsh of me to make her seem like it was. I sighed, knowing my distant behaviour would end here. "We're good, Wanda."

She still seemed uncertain. "You sure?"

I gave her my best smile, hoping she knew I meant it. "I'm sure."

Her tense shoulders relaxed and a relieved smile spread across her face. "Okay, good. I'm glad."

She held my gaze and I just knew my heart was beating too fast to be useful as she did. She was just so beautiful.

"You know, the whole point of splitting into teams was to be done quicker," Pietro's voice interrupted our staring contest.

He stepped between us, glancing between us with amusement, before setting a crate in the back of the car.

"Right, yeah, we were just on our way back," I said, smiling sheepishly.

Pietro smirked. "No harm no foul, princess."

I was taken aback slightly as he called me that, and even more taken aback when he plucked a flower from the crate and offered it my way.

"For you," he said, half joking and half serious.

Unsure what to say, I accepted the flower. "Er, thanks... I think."

Wanda crossed her arms behind him, eyes narrowed in his direction. I wondered what she was thinking, but never got the chance to ask as their mum's voice called out to us.

"Pietro, I paid to use the bouquets," she said with mild distress, "not so you could ruin them."

His cheeks flushed as he called back, "Sorry!"

I tried not to laugh as the three of us headed back to get the rest of the crates, being sure to set the flower to the side. We ended up filling her car with the bouquets before facing our parents as we bid them a goodbye.

"They're lovely, Y/M/N," Wanda's mum was complimenting the flowers. "Thank you again."

My mum patted her back. "Anytime, dear." She looked between the twins and my sister and I. "Thank you all for helping out."

Y/S/N and I smiled her way as Wanda's mum nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, thank you!" she added, looking to Y/S/N and I. "It's so great to see you all together. Especially you two, Wanda and Y/N. It's nice to know you're good friends after so long of barely speaking."

Wanda's face was beginning to turn pink as I'm sure mine was doing the same.

"Yes, I agree," my mum said with a smile. "Anyway, we won't keep you any longer. Good luck with the banquet!"

Wanda and Pietro waved goodbye to Y/S/N and I before joining their mum in the car. I followed her figure subconsciously, butterflies floating in my stomach until their car was gone.

"Damn, I really missed a lot," Y/S/N said when they were gone, wrapping an arm over my shoulder and tugging me closer. "You're crushing hard."

Instantly, I looked to her. "What? What are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes, letting go of me. "So we're playing that game. Okay. I'll bite."

As she began to walk away, I chased after her. "What game? Y/S/N? What are you talking about?"

She merely laughed and allowed me to chase her, wondering how the hell she knew of my crush on Wanda. Was I that obvious?

[shozto]

⏤ wounds.

ask: Hi if requests are still open could I please request a Dabi(Touya) x civilian reader? Where she finds him badly injured and unconscious then she drags him back to her apartment to treat his wounds and when Dabi regains consciousness he finds her sleeping next to him in her bed. 

pairing: dabi / f!reader

wordcount: 3.4k

genre: angst, fluff, strangers to something more(?)

warning: brief descriptions of injuries and pain, swearing, a makeout scene, suggestive but literally nothing happens, dabi is kind of ooc? but not really

+ summary: dabi is extremely hurt, and you are the only one there to help him. 

note! this is the first thing i’ve written on here since my hiatus almost 2 years ago! i hope you like it

Music thumped through the brick wall and into the narrow alleyway. This club was pretentious to say the least, but it provided a loud, pounding wall of safety from the dangerous streets. The darkness of the city after dark only brought the stench of danger and death, something Dabi didn’t prefer, but knew well. He still went out anyway.

Dabi is always careful when he goes out. Sure, he gets hurt sometimes, but never anything too serious or life threatening. It’s a habit of his, one he is extremely determined on keeping. But, no matter how careful he is, something is bound to slip through at one point or another.

Blood seeped through the gash on his side. It leaked past his white shirt, staining it a deep red and dripping onto the ground as he leaned against the wall of the alley. His scarred hand pressed against the wound and he groaned, falling to the ground letting out a sputtered cough. 

So much for being careful. 

“Those bastards,” he grunted. His legs pushed against the ground before he hunched over and heaved for breath. He felt his mouth fill with saliva as he hyperventilated and squeezed his eyes shut. 

They stabbed him with a knife. He killed them, of course. Burning them to a crisp in one glance. But that didn’t help the gaping wound in his side.

This isn’t an often occurrence for Dabi; he hardly ever got hurt, and when he did, it was always on his own accord. He could deal with the pain from burns, at least those didn’t make him feel like he was dying from the inside out. Being stabbed was a different kind of pain, though. Dabi felt like he was really about to die. 

But then, his saving grace.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” A voice came from his left. Your voice was panicked and shaky, but oh so gentle. 

You came into view and his vision blurred. Your hand was warm against his cheek and cool against the wound on his side, a fresh relief. You pulled the purse off your shoulder and sifted through the items before pulling out a cellphone and dialing something on the keypad.

Dabi’s hand grabbed your wrist and he shook his head. 

“What?” you looked at him. “I’m going to call an ambulance, you need to go to the hospital.”

He shook his head again and grunted, trying to push himself up into a sitting position. “No hospitals. No police.”

His voice was rough and deep, it took you a moment to process what exactly he was saying. When you did, you felt your heart fall in your chest. 

“Okay, okay... no hospitals or police...” you sucked in a breath. “I can take you to my apartment, it’s just up there.” you pointed to a window above them on the other side of the alley. 

Dabi nodded and felt his vision blurring once more. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stay conscious much longer. 

“Come on, stay with me please,” you spoke softly, trying to pull him up on his feet. “I need you to walk, I’ll help you just please try and stand up.”

Your arms pulled him up to his feet and he stumbled, falling on top of your smaller frame. You grunted at the weight and tried to drag him to your apartment building.

One step, two steps. A few more through the door when your entered the digits on the keypad. Finally into the apartment building. 

Dabi collapsed. 

Dabi woke up with an ache in his side. He let out a groan and shifted his body, turning to his stomach and running his hand through his hair. His eyes fluttered open and, much to his surprise, sleeping beside him was a girl.

You looked familiar, but he didn’t know why. Did he sleep with you? No, he shook his head. You were fully clothed and looked far too peaceful for having spent the night in bed with him. 

Then, another sharp pain in his abdomen. He sucked in a breath and let his hand drift to the ache. He was shirtless, a white bandage wrapped around his waist. Oh, right. He got stabbed. So your were the one who helped him then.

your sudden movement caught his attention. You stretched your arms out and your eyes opened slowly.

“Good morning.” you smiled, looking into his cerulean eyes. Intimidating yet warm, and very, very confused. “Did you sleep well?” your voice was gentle, just like before. But this time it was calmer, more comfortable. 

Dabi lifted his arm and tucked it under his head. “Care to explain why ‘m sleepin’ in your bed, angel?”

Deflected your question with his own, of course. That was what he was best at. 

You shifted and turned your gaze away from his own. It felt like they were burning holes in your eyes; scary and understandably so. He must’ve been a villain. You weren’t sure if you could hold eye contact with him for more than three seconds. “You were hurt badly. Like, really bad, and you didn’t want me to take you to the hospital so I tried my best to patch you up here. You were also running a high fever, probably from the loss of blood. I let you sleep in my bed, and I was going to sleep on the couch, but you kept waking up from these... nightmares? I felt bad leaving you so... I just came to sleep here in case you needed anything.”

Your hand found the bandage on his waist and you brushed your fingers against the white fabric. Thank god the blood wasn’t leaking through anymore. “What’s your name, anyway? And how did you get hurt so badly? Don’t tell me it’s the reason why you didn’t want me taking you to the hospital or calling the police...”

He felt you finch when he grabbed your wrist. 

“I’m Dabi, angel face. You have a name? Or do you prefer me calling you ‘angel’?”

You laughed a little out of sheer awkwardness. “My name is y/n.”

Dabi hummed and pulled you closer to his body until your chests were touching. You were cold. “You okay, y/n? You seem a little shaken up.”

You pushed him away and got out of the bed. “What are you trying to do?”

He sat up and leaned against the headboard, a slight smirk on his lips. “Just trying to repay you for helpin’ me out last night. Want me to make you feel good? Tell me what you want, princess. I’ll give it to you.”

“We literally just met, Dabi. I only learned your name two minutes ago. Stop being a creep and have some human decency, for god’s sake. I just saved your life.”

You slipped out of the bedroom door and walked toward the kitchen. Dabi frowned and got out of the bed, following behind you. 

Dabi was not a creep. Well, not in the sense that you were getting at; he was a villain. He assumed it fit his image and it was easy to assume such things, but it wasn’t fair of you to say that. But then again, he did just try and make a move on you... maybe it was warranted. 

Who could blame him, though? You were alluring in your own right. Pretty skin, cute smile, bright eyes. You helped him when he thought he was going to die. Now that was something he didn’t quite process. Who was he kidding? That was horrifying; but then again, nothing was ever as horrifying as what happened when he was a child. Either way, he really was grateful for your help. He just didn’t know how to show it. 

You knew he was following you, but you didn’t speak. You would make him some breakfast, then kick him out. So much for the butterflies fluttering in your stomach whenever he spoke. 

“Sorry about that,” Dabi said after a few minutes of silence between the two of you. The sizzling of rice being coated in oil and vegetables was loud. It smelled way too good to be considered fried rice. 

You hummed in response and tapped your fingers against the handle of the spatula in your hand. “It’s okay.”

Well that wasn’t much of a surprise, but it still took him aback. You were too kind for your own good.

“Thank you, though. For real.”

“It’s the least I can do. Even though you’re a villain, and if the police find out I helped you, I’ll probably get arrested and then lose my scholarship and fail at my dream of becoming a doctor. But it’s okay.”

Now that, that was a surprise. 

“You wanna be a doctor?” not the doctor part. (he was honestly not surprised about that, it only made sense. you actually knew what you were doing and how to help him). he was surprised that you were this open to him. 

“Yeah,” you paused as you pulled out bowls to put the rice in. “It’s technically my parents’ dream for me. But I’ve realized I enjoy it a lot more than I thought I would. I like helping people, it makes me happy.” You handed him his bowl and sat beside him. “I just realized that’s probably the last thing you wanna hear. Don’t villains find the idea of helping people disgusting?”

Dabi laughed. 

It was a warm, gravely laugh, probably due to the fact he just woke up. It made your heart feel like it was being coated in thick honey and you felt heat rise to your face. You liked his laugh. 

“I don’t know about other villains, but I really could not care less. But no, the last thing I would want to hear is you being a hero. That would be terrifying.”

You felt a smile creep up your lips and a tight feeling grew in your chest. “Yeah, never. I have too weak a quirk to do that. And putting my life on the line? No thanks. I have way too much to lose.”

“Too much to lose, huh?” he said. He ate some of the rice. “What’s your quirk? Some healing shit?”

You shook your head. “No, but that would be ideal. I have a simple nature quirk. Like I can grow flowers and make the leaves change color.”

“Sweet quirk for a sweet girl.”

You flushed. “What’s yours?”

Dabi held out a single finger and in a split second, a small blue flame emitted from the tip. “Just fire. I’d show you more but I might burn your apartment down and you’d murder me. Plus I’d feel a little bad.”

“Blue fire?”

“Yeah.”

“What were your parents’ quirks? I’ve never seen anyone have blue fire before.” you asked innocently. Dabi gritted his teeth.

“Fire and ice, i guess. I don’t remember too well, though. Haven’t seen ‘em in a long time.”

You were about to ask another question, but realized it might be a little insensitive. Besides, it was none of your business.

“Sorry,” you murmured. Then, you ate. 

You weren’t quite sure what had happened, but you saw Dabi quite frequently nowadays. 

After you told him you had a night class, you would often see him outside the campus waiting for you so he could walk you home. Other times, he would bring you little things like food or candy. 

You assumed it made him happy; bringing you things or walking you home. It would be a lie if you said it didn’t make you happy as well. He was sort of a dandere type; he let you do most of the talking and sometimes it seemed like he didn’t care, but he proved that he was listening when he brought you the snacks that you told him you liked, or when he gave you a little nightlight after you told him you were afraid of the dark. 

He was sweet; unbelievably so. And over the past few weeks, you realized that you might have a major romantic connection to him. It was almost like you were in a relationship together, but not really.

You had never gone out on a date or anything like that, but you could tell he liked you in a certain way. The way he teased you or called you cute. The way he slept over in your bed often. At first he said it was because he didn’t want to go back to his place since his roommates were annoying. 

It was the way he hugged you when he said goodbye or the lingering gazes when you would cook him dinner. One time you kissed him on the cheek when he was pretending he was asleep. You swore you saw him blush.

Tonight felt different. You hadn’t seen him in a few days; he was away, he said. He told you not to worry, but you did. How could you not? He was like your best friend.

There was a knock on your door. It was loud and hard, and you felt your heart stutter in your chest. You walked quickly to the peephole, and much to your surprise, dabi was standing there. You flung the door open.

“Dabi,” you ran into his arms, hugging around his waist tightly and burying your face into his chest. You let out a shaky breath and you felt tears well up in your eyes. 

“Hey, angel,” he said softly and rested his face on the top of your head, breathing in deeply. “Missed you,” he muttered. He kissed your head gently and hummed. “We should go inside, baby.”

You sniffled and nodded, pulling away from his warm body and interlacing your hand with his own before leading him inside and closing the door behind you. 

“How was it?” you asked. You never asked about his ‘work’. You knew it made him a little upset. Not that he didn’t trust you, he just didn’t like you hearing about that side of himself. He had his own motivations and drives, as did you. You didn’t question them, because you knew they were valid. 

He sighed and sat on your couch, leaning back and running his hands down his face. “It was fine, just tiring,”  he said. 

He closed his eyes and tossed his head back, resting his arm on the back of the couch, his long legs spread wide. Sometimes you forgot how tall he was. You never forgot how attractive he was. 

You fiddled with your fingers as you stood by the coffee table. You were worried about him... how could you not? He was one of the most important people in your life right now. You don’t know what you’d do with yourself if he died.

He let out something between a sigh and a groan. You felt your insides twist. 

Cerulean blue eyes opened slightly and caught yours. “C’mere, angel,” he said, opening his arms. 

You complied and walked over to him, standing in between his parted thighs. He quirked a brow at your shyness and his hands found your hips, pulling you forward onto his lap so your legs were on either side of his thighs. 

Your hands gripped the front of his shirt and you leaned forward, burying your head in his neck. He was so warm, obviously a result of his quirk. He smelled like campfires in the rain... a rare experience in itself. It wasn’t until Dabi started rubbing your back that you realized you were crying.

“Shhh, baby. It’s okay,” he breathed in your ear. “I’m right here, you don’t need to worry.”

You sniffled and rubbed your face against the rough skin of his neck. You kissed it gently; it made your heart drop whenever you felt his burns. You knew they didn’t hurt. It was just scar tissue. But you felt so sad whenever you thought about them, he had so much pain buried in his heart. These burns were a result of his bad past.

Dabi pulled your body closer to his own so there was no space in between. His large hands held your shoulders and pulled you so you were facing him. His long fingers grazed your cheek and settled for threading through your hair and cupping your jaw. 

“Look at me,” he whispered, his burning blue eyes searching your face. You sniffled again and hesitantly looked up into them. “There she is,” he smiled and wiped your tears away with his thumbs. You let out a small laugh when he nudged her nose with his own. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head and looked down again.

“Hey, what did I say? Look at me, y/n,” your name dripped from his tongue and you felt your stomach twist. You looked up at him again.

“I’m just worried about you,” you said with a shaky breath. “And... I know you don’t want my pity but I just feel so sad when I think about what you’ve had to go through. It hurts me, thinking about it. I just want you to be happy, and I know you’re trying to accomplish your goal by working with the league, but I just...” you trailed off and looked down again. His thumb brushed your cheek again. “I just want you to be okay and safe. I know you’re doing what you have to do, but I love you and it hurts so bad seeing you in pain.”

“Angel...” he kissed your forehead. “I’m not in pain.”

You shook your head. “You are. I can tell.”

“I’m perfectly fine, don’t worry about me, okay? I didn’t get hurt.”

he was always so gentle when it came to you.

“Not physically. I mean mentally,” you sighed and brought your hands to his cheeks, mirroring his actions from before. He let his hands drop to your hips, rubbing soft circles in the dips. “Your past, the hurt you have in your heart. These scars may just be old burns, but they’re wounds. They are proof of your pain. Even if it was a long time ago.”

You kissed under his left eye. Then his right. You noticed he let out a small sigh when you kissed his jaw, then his ear, his neck, his collar bone. You looked back up at his face; his eyes were closed. You smiled softly and held under his jaw again, pulling your face closer to his. He felt your breath on his lips, but his eyes remained shut. Your thumb hesitantly traced his bottom lip and he hummed. You slowly leaned in and captured his lips in your own. 

The kiss was slow and warm and sensual. It was kind of surprising that you had never kissed him before, but you realized it might have been because of what happened on the morning you met.

His grip tightened on your hips and he let out a small groan when you pulled your lips away from his own. Your hands slowly dragged down to his shoulders.

“Was that okay?” you whispered and he opened his eyes slowly. 

Instead of responding, he grabbed the back of your head and kissed you again, fervently. It was hot and it made you feel like your breath had been knocked out of you, but it was slow and tight and it made your mind go fuzzy. You whimpered when his tongue traced along your gums, your grip on his shirt growing tighter and you realized you were shaking. 

He moved to kiss your jaw below your ear and you swore you couldn’t breathe. He whispered something about breathing before continuing his trail of kisses down your neck, sucking at the skin there. You struggled to breathe in and you found Dabi rubbing your arm with one of his hands. He squeezed you lightly and stopped his kissing, pulling away and holding you close, pushing your head into the crook of his neck.

You whimpered when he rubbed your back again, and you were now in the same position as you were before. 

He felt your hot breath on his neck and he kissed your shoulder. 

“You okay?” he asked. You nodded and moved so you were facing him again. You smiled and ran your hands through his dark locks.

“I love you,” you said once more. He smiled and pecked your lips. 

“I love you too.”

[babymetaldoll]

The Super Secret Mystery Project (Insomnia II) (Matthew Gray Gubler / Reader)

Requested: Yes 

Summary: Matthew Gray Gubler proposes to Reader after seven years together 

Warning: You might die of an overdose of fluffiness. Sorry, I can’t help it. 

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler / Reader

Word count: 2,6 K

A/N: Thank you all for the nice comments and requests <3 

Part I  

Materlist

.

- “I need you to guard this for me”- Matthew Gray ran into the kitchen and nearly killed his girlfriend of a heart attack. She jumped on her spot and almost dropped the cake pan she was holding.  

- “Jesus!! Gubler!!”- but he just laughed and kissed her cheek sweetly, notoriously excited about something she didn’t know. 

- “Sorry Bunny!! Just keep this for me for a while, ok?”

Matthew placed an envelope in her pocket and wrapped his arms around her waist. 

- “What are you baking?” 

- “I’ve been craving an ice cream cake all week, and today I finally have time to do it”

- “Damn, sounds good, which ice cream’s flavors?” 

- “Oreo cookies and cream, and chocolate chip cookie dough”- Gubler kissed (Y/N)’s neck making her giggle as she kept pouring batter on the pan.

- “You are gonna make me get fat”

- “You don’t have to eat it”- (Y/N) turned and smiled at her boyfriend- “More for me.”

- “You wish, young lady, but that ice cream cake has to get the Gubler’s seal of approval before it’s served”- Matthew pecked her nose and moved to the fridge. His girlfriend stared at him with a sweet smile, thinking she was dating the most adorable manchild on earth.  

- “And what am I guarding by the way?” 

(Y/N) looked back at the pan and prepared it to get into the oven, and her boyfriend stayed quiet for a few seconds, trying to arrange his thoughts. It was an important deal, and he had to make sure it all turned out perfect. 

- “Remember that project I’ve been working on?”- he finally said, as casually as possible.

- “The “Super Secret Mystery Project”?”- she asked, thrilled to know more about it- “The one you’ve been working secretly for the last two weeks?”

- “Yes, that’s the one”- the actor took a sip of water and finally made his move- “I was thinking I could show it to you later”

- “Really? is it done?”- (Y/N) turned to him the second she closed the oven- “Can we see it now?”

- “Nope, you have to finish that cake first”- her instantaneous pout made him chuckle immediately.

- “Please?”

- “No, Bunny, you’ll have to wait.” 

The “Super secret mystery project” had taken Matthew Gray Gubler at least two weeks in the making, mostly because he had to do it at work, in between shots in the set. Why? ‘cos (Y/N) couldn’t see it, which meant he couldn’t do it home. 

Ever since the last time he was forced to spend a whole week home alone, he had made the decision: it was time to propose. But first, he had to find the perfect way to do it. 

There was no way on earth Gubler was going to do it over dinner in a restaurant. 

Neither on the beach at sunset. It had to be special. It had to be different. It had to be about them. Easier said than done, that’s why it took him exactly seventeen days to be completely ready to do it. And the day was that night. 

- “Ok Gubbilubie, the cake is in the freezer, can I see the “Super secret mystery project” now?”- (Y/N) literally jumped on the couch onto Gubler’s lap and pouted- “Please?”

- “Gubilubie? what the fuck?”

- “I don’t know, it just came to my mind in the desperation to get your… attention?”- she made up a bad excuse and snickered- “Come on, it wasn’t that bad… was it?”

- “Please never call me that again”- Matthew Gray pretended to get serious, but you could tell he was making his best not to smile. 

- “What? Gubilubie? why not? it sounds super cute”

- “I hate it”- he was lying

- “If you don’t want me to call you that again, show me the Super Secret Mystery Project.”

- “You love calling it by that name, don’t you?”- Gubler leaned and kissed (Y/N)’s lips softly a few times.  

- “What can I say… it’s a good name, just like Gubilubie”

- “Stop it”

(Y/N) smiled and watched him stand up and grab the remote control. 

- “Ok, so, it took me a while to master this project, it’s something I’ve had in mind for years, but it has always been hard for me to find the right time to do it… besides, I felt I needed more to add to the story, more character development, more… I don’t know, like one last push, maybe? I don’t know how to explain it”

- “Is this about the puppet show you were putting on the other day in your office?”

- “No”- Matthew laughed immediately- “Although, maybe I could add it… I’m not sure… it’s not a bad idea” 

- “Come on! show me the project!”- (Y/N) jumped on her seat and clapped excitedly. 

- “Fine, just… be honest and tell me what you think, ok?”

Matthew Gray Gubler was nervous. He had always said you had to get nervous when you were doing something important, ‘cos it meant you actually cared for it. Well, this time, he was truly nervous. Afraid even… hysterical, maybe, but making his best to look as cool as a cucumber. He loved that comparison, he was indeed a fan of cucumbers. Not ta fan of eating them, ‘cos he said they were disgusting, but he supported them. His words exactly.  

  The second he pushed play, there was no way back. 

- “Hi, I’m Matthew Gray Gubler”- the image of him sitting in his trailer waving at the camera made (Y/N) smile immediately- “And today, I’m here to make some magic, make you laugh, but mostly, to tell you a little story about this incredible girl who met this, badly groomed, awkward and hyperventilated looking dude a few years ago, and somehow, fell in love with him”. 

(Y/N) looked at him not getting what was going on. He just smiled and pointed at the screen. 

- “Keep watching, it gets better.” 

And it did. 

- “Hi, I’m (Y/N)”- on the screen, Gubler impersonated her voice and stood next to a real size cardboard cutout standup of her, in the middle of the bullpen set. There were people around him actually pretending that wasn’t weird at all and just kept working. 

- “Are you serious?!”- the real-life (Y/N) yelled and laughed as soon as she saw the screen- “What the fuck is this?”

- “Just keep watching, and don’t laugh, this is some serious work, Bunny, it might be the best thing I’ve ever directed”

- “Hello, I’m Matthew, nice to meet you, (Y/N)”- and in the scene, Gubler shook the cardboard hand and smiled- “You smell like cinnamon”

- “I just baked cinnamon rolls”

- “So, do you bake a lot?”- that had indeed been their first and awkward conversation the day they had met at a party one of their friends had thrown. 

- “No… yes, have someone ever told you how hot you are?”

- “Gubler!”- (Y/N) yelled and smacked his arm right away- “I didn’t say that!!”

- “It’s an adaptation, I’m sure you were thinking about it”

- “I was not thinking that!”

Yes, that was exactly what she had thought. 

- “Be quiet, I wanna know what happens next”- Matthew covered (Y/N)’s mouth with his hand and turned to the screen. 

- “And, would you like to go out sometime? maybe get some coffee?”- Gubler said to the cardboard.

- “Sure, sounds like a plan, you look like a nice, handsome young man who can make me happy”- (Y/N) turned and looked at Matthew with narrowed eyes, but didn’t make a noise. She was enjoying the super secret project way too much to keep talking. 

- “This is an incredible evening, so romantic!”- cardboard (Y/N) said. The scene was taking place in the Criminal Minds’s jet set- “I can’t believe you are taking me to London on our first date”

- “Why didn’t you do that in real life?”- she whispered and giggled, but he shushed her and pointed at the screen.

- “Pay attention!”

- “Anything for you, Bunny”

- “You are amazing Matthew Gray, you are the most handsome, intelligent and tall man I have ever met”- Gubler’s impersonation was so funny, his girlfriend couldn’t stop laughing  

- “You forgot I can also do magic”

- “I can’t believe it! you are perfect”- (Y/N) had to bit her lip to control the laughter. 

- “Would you like to see a trick?”

- “Of course, there is nothing on earth sexier than a guy who can do magic”

- “Great, let me get my special deck”

On the screen, Gubler started to prepare a magic trick, but now the camera was pretending to be (Y/N), so he was sitting right across from her. 

- “Take that deck of cards and pick nine cards”- on-screen Matthew said, and in real life, he pointed at a deck sitting on the coffee table

- “I think he wants you to do it”- he whispered and his girlfriend looked at him confused.

- “What?”

- “He said he was going to make a trick for you, so… try i”t- not getting what was actually going on, (Y/N) grabbed the deck and did as told. 

- “Do you’ve got your nine cards?”

- “Yup”- (Y/N) answered the screen feeling like a dork. Like a happy and excited dork.

- “Great, now shuffle them a little, then turn them, and fan them, so all the numbers are facing you, got it?”

- “Yes Mister Magician”- (Y/N) nodded at the screen and giggled, having the time of her life.

- “Spread them out, can you see all of them?”

- “Yes Gubidubi”

- “Stop it”- real-life Matthew whispered, making his girlfriend laugh

- “Shh, I’m doing a magic trick here, don’t interrupt me!”

He kept looking at her, now sitting on the floor, with his legs crossed, her eyes stuck at the screen. And he kept feeling his heart about to come out of his chest. That was indeed the biggest and more important project he had ever made. 

- “Now it’s time to pick a card, I’m gonna roll my lucky nine sides dice to pick it, ok?”- the two of them watched how Gubler did so on the screen- “Number two, so look at your second card from left to right, and memorize it, ok? ‘cos that’s your secret card, and you don’t have to forget it, alright?”

The girl nodded and looked at it.

- “I don’t know what cards you’ve got, so this is going to very hard to do… but trust me, Bunny, the Great Gubler is gonna blow your mind”

There was a short silence, ‘cos both on-screen, and real-life Matthew were looking at her at the same time, if possible. 

- “Get the cards together, turn them over, numbers down, and we are going to do my secret special shuffle, the one that’s going to do all the magic, ok?”

It was funny ‘cos (Y/N) was actually nodding at the screen, making Gubler chuckle. 

- “You have to spell your name putting the cards in a pile, ready? use one card for each letter”- and so, she did as asked- “Ready? now take the cards left in your hand and put them on top of the pile, and now hold all of them in your hand, got it?”

- “Yes!”- she wasn’t actually trying to hide her excitement

- "Awesome Bunny, now I want to be part of this so why don’t you spell my name with the cards, just like you did with yours”- (Y/N) frowned and looked at her real-life boyfriend

- “Just Matthew or can I use one of the million nicknames?”- but the answer came from the tv.

- “Spell Matthew, Bunny”- her jaw dropped, and yelled.

- “Witchcraft!!” 

Her boyfriend was really having a hard time trying no to laugh, he kept biting his lips as he smiled. So far, so good.

- “Are you done? now place the remaining cards on top of the pile, pick them all, and now put the first one facing down on the table”

- “Ok…”- she whispered 

- “Now the next one on top of it”

- “Alright…” 

- “Keep going, you can stop whenever you want to, and when you do, I want you to put the remaining cards on top of the others... if you don’t have any left, that’s cool, I just hope the trick isn’t ruined”

(Y/N) chuckled at Gubler’s face on the screen and did as told.

- “Now, as you can see, there’s no way I can know which card you selected ‘cos… well I’m not there, and I don’t know which card you selected, but, I am gonna give it a shot, ok?”

The fact she was nodding at the screen, forgetting Matthew was in fact sitting there next to her, was so far, his favorite part of the whole video. She was so into the trick, she had no idea what was coming up next. 

- “Ok Bunny, move a little closer to me and place your card facing down in your hand”- she crawled closer to the tv and giggled.

- "And now take the first three cards, don’t look at them, just hold them up and show them to me… no, neither of those, throw them away, we don’t need them, show me the next two”

And so she did, giggling nervously, thinking there was no way on earth that trick was ever going to work. 

- “Nope, your card ain’t there either, show me one more… nope, nothing… are you sure you shuffled this right? yes? sorry, don’t look at me like that! ok… you know what, none of those is your card, I’ve got the feeling you’ve got it hidden somewhere… hold it… I can feel it” 

(Y/N) frowned, confused and by instinct, her hand moved to the envelope her boyfriend had given her earlier. 

- “Yes Bunny… show me what’s in that envelope”- she knew it was the same man the whole time, but it was still freaky the guy on the tv knew everything she was doing in real life.

- “Now, open the envelope and show me the card…”- she did exactly what the magician asked her to do, and saw him smile.  

- “Finally! that’s your card, take look at it” 

When (Y/N) turned the card, she wide opened her eyes. It was actually the card she had picked, but it also had a note written on top of it with a handwriting she knew all too well, that said: “Turn around”. 

And when she did, she saw Matthew Gray Gubler kneeled in front of her holding the perfect engagement ring. 

- “I always thought magic was an illusion you create for an audience until I met you, and you made me feel the magic in life without any kind of trick, that’s why I want to be with you for the rest of my life, trying to make your days as magical as you make mine… so… (Y/N) (Y/L/N), would you marry me?” 

The tears and the smile across her face were all the answer Matthew needed, but it wasn’t until he heard her say “I do” that he didn’t let out the breath he had been holding ever since he had stopped talking. 

That was it, it was finally happening, in the most romantic, different, nerdy way Gubler could have thought about. And she had said yes. Anyone would have been sure she was going to accept, but he didn't want to take her for granted, it was the first mistake in a relationship. He hadn't done that in seven years, he wasn't going to start now. 

They held each other tight for a few minutes, whispering how much they loved each other. They kissed, they even cried a little (more than a little, actually), and finally, they sighed and smiled. 

- “Is it too soon to ask for some of that ice cream cake?- Gubler whispered in her ear and she laughed.” 

- “I was thinking about it... celebration cake?”

- “And then, celebration sex?”- they smiled at each other and nodded. 

- “I love you, Gub”

- “I love you, Bunny.” 

[seikyoko]

Johnny Gill appreciation post

There’s plenty of issues I have with DGM Hallow, people other than me have talked about it and honestly I don’t feel like rereading the manga AND rewatching Hallow to explain all my dissatisfaction with it, but whatever, they wanted to make it short enough for it to be 14 episodes, it’s difficult to make it 100% faithful, whatever, I understand, even though I’m sad the zombie arc and the funny part of the phantom G arc were not in here, I understand, I’m not going to nitpick even the little things.

BUT WHY THE HELL would they on purpose take out the Johnny content in such an outrageous manner? like at the very beginning, where Johnny is the one who notice that polite speech doesn’t suit “Allen” and that when he doesn’t pay attention, he slip to more casual speech. It was instead replaced by.. Lavi, and while yeah good to give more Lavi content,

It was annoying to steal another character’s very rare screentime, and besides, it was impossible for Lavi to do this interaction, even if Johnny didn’t in the manga. Look, that happened after the 14th reveal, Bookman forbade him from getting too involved with “Allen”, because it was going to be his downfall if he involved himself that much in the war, and Lavi heeded his advice, you never see Lavi & “Allen” interacting again after the 14th reveal (though with the recent events of “Allen” going to the campbell mansion and is going to meet bookman and everything even if Lavi’s not with bookman that’s probably going to change), and that interaction was way more important than “woah bro no need to be so formal” with the mana mask revelation and Red’s actual personality and everything, and you know it’s relevant to that because it happens in the same episode, and in the manga very few chapters after.

And also the whole “the regret won’t let me die in peace” between Johnny & Kanda, instead.. happens between Marie & Kanda & Lenalee, and the anime scene absolutely sucks, the sacrifice Kanda is making doesn’t really hit you and it comes off as the dbz “past evil dude/asshole is now helping the protagonist”.

Look, he got better after the alma karma arc, and he love and trusts Lenalee & Marie a lot, but I find it kinda weird Kanda would volunteer such personal information on his feelings that easily with virtually no reason to (though I’m no Kanda expert), the interaction is just Lenalee who wasn’t involved in the Alma arc weirdly insisting on prying, after Kanda already accepted the innocence and can’t take it back anymore and Kanda pouring his heart out just like that , which, weird, because when Lenalee say “don’t you were already trapped in the order more than all of us and the order harmed you so much”, his reaction is to change the subject by successfully picking a fight with most people on the room (like Komui and Bak at least) by drinking it out of Lenalee’s hands.

It doesn’t even work as real Lenalee screentime because you can tell she was a mouthpiece to make Kanda say it before Hallow end/say it to someone other than Johnny, it wasn’t a real Kanda & Lenalee interaction

In the manga it was after Johnny and Kanda (who already bonded and came to care about each other quite a lot during their roadtrip/travelling around), who are both people who are pretty much risking everything to find and help “Allen”,  exited the pub and Johnny showed that he was a ride or die friend, reminding Kanda of Alma, likely the first time he thought of his past without feeling pain (like “Allen” comparing the orphanage director to Mana), then Johnny ask why Kanda did it, whether Kanda even answered or not, it was going to be nowhere as personal as how it ended up being, then that akuma snatched Johnny, and it very much stated “it’s Kanda yuu” at the beginning, showing that it was a speech personally aimed at Kanda, rather than a generic exorcist, saying that he was an absolute fool to come back, that he had very very little left to live, and he should’ve spent his last moments in peace, and that he chose hell, and he doesn’t go “what are you talking about ?” or deny it, showing that yeah, he does have little left to live and he most probably did choose hell.

Then Johnny goes “really Kanda... why ?” then go silent, so Johnny wasn’t going to badger him on it, then Kanda goes on to say his reasons (and yeah Johnny works better because he have more informations about the Alma thing than Lenalee had, since Kanda most likely almost never talked about it, and the scientists there were probably more informed than the exorcists after the facts and Kanda most likely didn’t tell her much, if anything really, I mean the dude can’t even stand when you say his first name just because it reminds him of that time, and Johnny did witness Kanda stab “Allen” and the whole shitshow, he’s more involved I mean).

AND THE “I was about to say sorry and then I stopped myself, thank you kanda, thank you, than..” WAS SO TOUCHING

end rant about “the manga is better !!”

And they’re not only making these moments worse, but they’re shooting themselves on the foot, because Johnny is a vital character to the “searching for Allen Walker” arc. and they keep down playing his worth as a character and his bond with “Allen”.

Johnny dropped everything for “Allen”, he loved his job as a scientist and everyone in the order, and the whole thing was risky as hell, and he did it anyway (he had no guarantee of quitting the order safely, and he wouldn’t have without Kanda, he had no guarantee of finding “Allen”, he had no guarantee the Noah or the 14th wouldn’t kill him immediately and when he first decided it he didn’t know Kanda would be around so doubly gutsy), and the love is very clearly mutual with how badly “Allen” freaked out at thinking Nea killed Johnny and that heart warming hug when he exited the wheat field and how desperately he wanted Johnny to be okay when the earl attacked and Nea took over, and you can tell it’s because Johnny mattered to him a lot instead of a general kindness thing because, really, the whole TOWN/CITY was in danger from the Millenium earl being around and homicidal, and last but certainly not least, JOHNNY’S DECLARATION OF FRIENDSHIP which really mattered to “Allen” (It was the most flustered he’s ever been in the whole manga).

And it mattered in the end ! it changed everything ! Kanda wouldn’t have found “Allen” without Johnny’s plan. and “Allen” would be literally dead, erased, not from this world anymore if it wasn’t for Johnny.

Look, unlike all the other times Nea took over, the last one was pretty bad, in fact it should have been impossible for Allen Walker to ever open his eyes again, his soul was done for, he was technically dead.

But the power of people’s bond is probably the most powerful thing in DGM verse, so powerful that it can even do the impossible, like bringing back the dead.

Cross, Tyki and Link weren’t going to do that because of their allegiances, Road can’t maintain her form, even if Mana was going to choose “Allen” over Nea, he is very much amnesic, it wouldn’t have occured to Kanda and most of the order to try that, because it was very obviously the 14th, and Kanda doesn’t even call “Allen” by his name anyway, they’d have jumped straight to trying to defeat him or try another method to bring “Allen” back, if Apocryphos could still bring him back his way, he’d have merged with “Allen” and “Allen” as we know him would be no more.

Yeah, pretty sure “Allen” would be no more, and it wasn’t a case of right place/right moment or anything, it was because Johnny and “Allen” loved each other (platonically, I shouldn’t have to precise that but here we are) and it shook reality in ways usually only the earl take advantage of.

Also you imagine the amount of mental badassness it would take to take your friend, and physically try to carry him away while he’s the target of the earl who is looking extremely deranged and is being really violent ? 

Also he prevents Kanda from using violence against “Allen” who was in pretty bad shape, and that with Tiedoll’s speech help him find the guts to face “Allen” eye to eye and a lot of what ensued after

Don’t ever underestimate Johnny’s importance to the story.

Yet here he’ll always be a barely relevant side character to the anime (well at least Hallow I refuse to watch the 2006 anime and check if his earlier moments were done justice), and for what reason ? because he’s not good-looking/hot, and because he’s not physically powerful or badass in a conventional way.

That’s.. the end to my salt I think

[adezahnae]

My Roomie (Part 2)

A/N: Helloo!! Here is Part 2 of My Roomie!! I forgot to post this yesterday!! I wanna hit myself😭 Okay Let’s see what happens here!!

Warnings: Smut, Slight masturbation, riding, wet dream, dirty talk, strong sexual tension, y/n is a little perv, Kai’s a damn tease

Tagged People: @ahgasearmyfan @whoreforshuaaa

Your POV

It was around 8pm now and my room was fully set up. I took a step back and admired my work. “Perfect...” I said. I then let out a yawn. I went inside my closet and pulled out my pajamas. I grabbed all the things I needed for the shower and walked out. Just when I was about to open the bathroom door, it swung open to reveal him....he had on nothing but a towel. I widened my eyes and screamed. Before I could run away, he grabbed me back by arm.

I freaked out more, kicking and screaming. He carried me to the couch and sat me on it. “What is wrong with you?” He asked. “I-I-I...” I stuttered. How am I able to form such a sentence when your...junk is out practically!? He rolled his eyes. “What? Can you not talk?” He asked. I shook my head. “Why?” He asked. I pointed at his body, without looking at him. “So what it’s just a body. I’m sure you’ve seen other guy’s bodies in your past.” “No!” I yelped. He quirked an eyebrow. “Never?” He asked. I shook my head. He let out a small chuckle and leaned closer to me. “You like this don’t you?” He asked.

I widened my eyes and looked away. He moved away and stood up. “I’m going to my room. Don’t bother me because I’m having company over okay?” He said walking to his room. He shut his door and I finally breathed out. I patted my cheeks to see that they were hot and warm. I ran to the bathroom and started my shower. To be honest, he did have a nice body. It was so...attractive. He didn’t look so bad neither! He was a very handsome guy, with a favored baby face but that’s what makes him attractive I guess. I also lied about not seeing other guy’s bodies. I’ve seen them in magazines and in porn but never in person! Wow..that’s how it looks? I gasped and shook the nasty thoughts from my head.

I scrubbed my body and finished my shower. I stepped out and slipped on my pajamas. I walked out and heard noises coming from his room. I titled my head to the side and walked up to the door. I was about to knock on his door until I heard a girl. “Kai...oh Kai..” I hear her say. “Kai?” I whispered to myself. I then hear him groan and the bed was creaking. I then realized what he was doing, he’s in there having sex!! I covered my mouth and widened my eyes. “Right there baby..just like that..” He said. I felt an urge in my lower area.

I gasped quietly and put my hand over my heat. Is this what I’m gonna deal with for the rest of my days here?!? Hearing him and girls on campus messing around?! “Baby, slow down! W-What if your roommate hear us?!” The girl panicked. I heard a loud smack echo in the room, making me jump. “Shut up and take it.” He growled. The noises they made got louder. “Kai!! Kai!! Yess! Yess! It feels so good!!!” She yelled. He groaned out and another smacked echoed. I gasped out and yelped, feeling my heat clench and drip around nothing once more. I ran to my room and slammed the door behind me.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh...” I panicked. It’s only the first day! I laid on my bed and screamed in my pillows. Why did I have to hear that?! Why did I have to..imagine that?!! I let out a sigh and rolled over onto my back. I could still hear his groaning from my room. I felt my heat clench around nothing again, making stifle my groans myself. “I can’t deal with this...” I whispered. I slipped off my slippers and my pajama pants and panties and opened my legs. I made small circles on my clit. I let a breathy moan and moved my fingers faster. “Kai..” I whispered subconsciously not knowing.

I gasped and covered my mouth. Did I just moan his name?! I removed my hand from my center and rolled over in my bed. “Stop thinking about him...just stop...” I mumbled to myself. I cut on my TV and watched something to keep my mind off of him. A sudden sex scene came up in the movie. I got that urge again. I took one of my pillows and got on top of it. I moved my hips back and forth against the fabric of my pillow, letting out a small groan. As I was watching the scene, I wonder...can Kai make me feel like this? Maybe even better? I unbuttoned my shirt and let my boobs free.

I put my hands over them and let out moans and soft curses. I whispered his name over and over again. “Kai...K-Kai...” I moved my hips faster as I imagine him under me, giving praises like he did the girl in his bedroom. “Good job baby, you’re doing great..” I could hear him say. His hands came across my hips and bounced me faster. I let out a whine. “Kai!!! Yesss! I feel so good!!” I said. “You feel good? Tell me how good you feel..” He whispered. “Its so good..I’ve never felt it before! This is so so good!!” I replied through whines and whimpers. He chuckled and smacked my butt, causing me to jerk forward. “Are you gonna cum baby? Huh? You’re gonna cum for me like a little slut?” He said. I nodded and threw my head back. “Go ahead and make yourself a mess on me..” He growled. I threw my head back and whine out very loud. “KAIIII!!!”

I jumped up in my bed in cold sweat. My breathing was uneven and my throat was dry. I looked around to see it was daylight. 10:30am my clock said. I sighed and leaned back and covered my face. I jumped back up and looked over at my pillows. They were still in place, like they’ve never been touched, it wasn’t real..I swallowed hard and wiped my forehead. I got out of bed and ran out my door. I looked around to see or make sure I wasn’t dreaming anymore.

As I was I heard Kai’s voice. “Good Morning.” He simply said. I turned around and seen him in the kitchen drinking coffee while his on his phone. “G-Good Morning..” I replied in a small voice. I walked to the kitchen and took some coffee too. “Sleep well?” He asked me. I remembered flashes of my dream. “Kai!!” I remember me whining. “Y-Yeah, I slept well..Did you sleep well?” I asked. “Mhm.” He replied. “I’m sure you did. I mean I know you did but it’s just..yeah..” I said trying to cover up the fact that I heard him having sex with another girl. “Don’t lie.” He said now looking at me.

“Lie about what?” I asked. “You were listening to me, weren’t you?” He asked. I felt my heart leap in my throat. “I- I- I don’t know what you’re talking about! I don’t even know your name!” I lied. “From the way you called me last night, it seems like you do.” He said. Did he hear me moaning too?! So was that real?!?! “I...Um..I have to go and g-get ready for grocery shopping.” I said trying to walk away. He pulled me by my arm again and placed me against the wall. “Why were being such a dirty little girl huh? Why are listening to me and dreaming about me?” He asked. His words led straight to my center, making me clench my legs together and whimpered.

He looked down and noticed. “You like this don’t you?” He asked lowly. “H-How did you know a-all of that?” I asked. “Your yelps, gasps and moans are way too loud for anyone to hear.” He said. “Did she hear me?” I asked. “No. Only I did.” He said. I put my head down. “I’m sorry...I don’t know what that was about but I will never do it again, I promise.” I apologized. “You promise?” He asked. I nodded my head. He pulled away from me. I walked to my bedroom hurriedly until I heard him say something again. “And it’s Jongin.” He said. I turned around. “Huh?” I asked. “Jongin is my name.” He said. I nodded and ran back to my room. I shut my door and locked it. I went to my pillows and screamed into them again. “WHY MEEE!?!?”

Jongin’s POV

I heard Y/n go into her room locked her door, screaming into her pillows. I let out a little laugh and walked back to my room. “She’s such a cute little thing..” I said to myself. Y/n to me is just a girl who’s so unexperienced with guys. Who put their 21 year old-daughter into college without her experience to men? I’m only a bit cold to her at the moment because I want to see how well she can go when it comes to my..harsh side. It seems to my opinion that she likes it. When Lia left last night, I heard her in her room crying out my name. I go in to see her tossing and turning in her sleep, touching herself. I brought a smirk to my face knowing that she’s thinking of me.

I want her bad..I don’t know why but the first time I seen her eyes on mine, I knew she was too innocent. Wayy to innocent. One part of me feels bad for her knowing that she has no experience with a guy and don’t know how to take it when someone is hitting on her. The other part wants me to corrupt her...so badly...I want to be the one who takes that innocence away...call me what you want, but I have to have her..Just slowly but surely. I only fucked Lia because I was thinking of Y/n. She’s too cute and beautiful to not think about. “I got to have her...” I said to myself.

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun

iv.xlviii. Jaehyun’s working day (a)

a/n: Hey, I’m back. After a break I feel now better to write again and let me say one thing I MISSED YOU GUYS ❤ the last weeks were pretty hard for me and I no room in my head to write. But now I had a new idea and I want to be back. And I’m also thinking about to make a discord channel to talk with you guys about the story and other Jaehyun things (for example his dramas). What do you think about it? ❤

4 am For Jaehyun, work was on his plan and the filming for the new drama started again. He always had to leave early and didn't come home until very late. In the morning the twins were still with you because you had to breastfeed Kiwoo. Most of the time you pick them up at 4 a.m. and they were with you for a while. Jaehyun especially enjoyed this time. Kiwoo was on his chest and he knew he had to go. Every time it was a struggle for him to leave the house. He wanted to put his youngest son with you very slowly but he immediately began to cry. Kiwoo already knew that his father would go and he knew that he would not see him for a very long time. "Don't cry, I'll try to be back soon." He knew it was a lie. The work took longer and longer and he felt guilty. "Kiwoo please ..." When he took the boy back to himself, he calmed down again. Jaehyun was torn, he was already too late for work. But as soon as he moved away from his son, Kiwoo began to cry again. At some point you notice this back and forth and you turn to him sleepily. "Hey, give him to me." You stretch out your arms and lay your boy on your chest. Kiwoo was now calm again and looked at you excitedly. "Thank you. I love you," he said, kissed you and quickly left the house.

6 am It was really difficult for Jaehyun to work without his children. He hated being gone for so long and had the guilty conscience of failing as a father. "Hey, are you okay?", Minu, his co-actress, asked him and smiled gently. She noticed that he was absent and could hardly be spoken to. "Yeah .... Kiwoo just lies with me every morning and he cries every time I leave him .... It's really not easy every morning right now." Jaehyun sighed and took a sip of his coffee. "Kiwoo is your youngest son, isn't he?" She asked and Jaehyun nodded. "Yeah, actually it's Geon, but they are twins. Kiwoo came first, half an hour later Geon." He had to smile when he thought of the time when they were so little. They were so tiny and looked so inhuman when they were born. Still, they had grown so well and he always wondered how these two boys had room in your belly. "Wow, your wife must have done a lot," said Minu and smiled. "Yes, she really gave everything with all of our children." It hit Jaehyun even more that he cannot be with you. The weather was so nice and he would have loved to go out with Miga and Sunoh and they could have romped around at the playground. "I would really like to get to know her and your family," Minu says, but Jaehyun didn't find the idea that exciting. "Minu, that's not personal, but we're playing a couple in the drama and my wife doesn't think it's great that we kiss several times. I really want to separate my professional and private life." Jaehyun looked at her a little worried, but Minu nodded. "No problem, is understandable." But she got up immediately and left the room.

9 am During his first break, Jaehyun called you right away. He wanted to know whether Kiwoo was happy again and whether everyone else was fine. "We're having breakfast," you say, and put the iPad on the table so that Jaehyun could see everyone on video. "Mummyyyyy .... juice!" Sunoh stretched out his arms and you got him something to drink. "What do we say when we want something?" You look at your son admonishingly. "Pleaseeeeee." Sunoh's eyes widened and Jaehyun had to laugh. He was happy, if only digitally, to be a part of it. "Have you already filmed?" You ask him and now sit down at the table. "No, I was only in the mask so far. I'll wait that they call me." Jaehyun glanced to the side and made sure that he still had time. "Dada?" Geon suddenly looked up at you, recognizing his father's voice. "Yes! There is Dada!" You point to the screen where Jaehyun waved. "Good morning Geon." When the boy heard his father's voice, he began to squeak with joy. "Yes, you are happy." You brush his hair aside and smile. "And how is Kiwoo doing?" Jaehyun still felt guilty from the morning. "Kiwoo is fine. He's taking a nap. Don't worry." You knew he was sad because Jaehyun struggled with it every morning. "I just want to be with you." Jaehyun was really sad because he knew that there would be a few more days of shooting. "You'll be back with us very soon. We can do it." You also try to be positive, even if it was difficult for you too. "Jaehyun, you have to get to the set now." One of the staff came into his room and Jaehyun had to leave. "Okay, I have to work. I love you all," he said quickly before hanging up.

12 am Jaehyun didn't like the scene he was supposed to play today. It was a romantic scene where he and Minu were comfortably sitting on the couch, arm in arm. But it felt so wrong that the woman in his arms and chest wasn't you. "Yes, because I love you," Jaehyun acted, trying his best, but the team wasn't happy. "What's going on today? Jaehyun, every potato could show more love than you do today," said the director and sighed. "I know, I know ... let's do it again." Jaehyun sat up and put his arm around Minu again. She snuggled up against him and he was amazed at how well she was acting because it felt so real with her. "Yes, because I love you." He looked down at her and she looked at him with wide eyes. "Yes?" "Yes!" He stared at her and her face slowly came closer. It wasn't a kissing scene yet, he knew that, but he already felt like he was cheating on you. "Am I bothering you with something?" The third actress was added, who played Minu's roommate. "And CUT!" The director then shouted and rolled his eyes. "Jaehyun! That was a disaster. With music and light we can still manage it, but I hope the next scenes will be better." Jaehyun felt bad on both sides now. "I'm sorry. I'll do better." He bowed his head and hoped the day would pass quickly.

3 pm When Jaehyun later looked at his phone, he saw a few photos Miga sent him from your phone. He had to laugh because Miga was having a lot of fun with her brothers and he also knew that you must be angry that she wasn't doing her homework. "The twins already look so big," said the hairdresser, who often accompanied Jaehyun for shows or dramas. "Yes, I can watch them grow." Jaehyun laughed and looked at the photos. "When my son was born, it seemed to me that every time I slept, he just grew two inches." The hairdresser smiled and showed then also a photo of her son. But before Jaehyun could say anything, Minu came in. "Hey Jaehyun." She sat down on the table in front of him and grinned. "Hi Minu, is there anything?", Jaehyun asked surprised, but she shook her head. "No, I'm on break right now." She grinned and slowly rocked her legs. "Oh ... okay. Have you already eaten?", He asked surprised and Minu started to giggle. "You care about me! Yes, I've already eaten." Jaehyun was a bit surprised by her statement and her suddenly childlike behavior, so that he was quite embarrassed. "Um ... very good ..." he stuttered, but the hairdresser can no longer listen to it. "I have to blow dry Mr. Jung now." And before Minu could say anything, she switched on the loud hair dryer. Minu looked at her in surprise and waited a little longer, but the hairdresser took her time, so that Jaehyun's scalp burned a little. At some point Minu understood that it would take even longer and left the room again. "I know, I'll be the last to say that ..." The hairdresser switched off the hairdryer and gave Jaehyun a serious look. "But this girl is the devil." She sighed and hoped she had no regrets. "What?" Asked Jaehyun and was quite surprised. "Just that she's not that nice otherwise ..." She pressed her lips together and then quickly ran away.

8pm When Jaehyun looked at his phone, he saw that Sunoh and Miga had already wished him good night. He had missed their calls again because the filming had taken much longer. His feelings of guilt grew to infinity and he didn't know how long he could endure it. He packed his things and hoped that he would make it home in time, that he could at least talk to you a little longer. "Jaehyun." Minu suddenly jumped in front of him and grinned. Jaehyun was just tired and wanted to go home. He didn't mean to be rude, but Minu was particularly stressful today. "Minu?" He asked surprised and held his car key tight. "Me and some of the grew going to have another drink. Would you like to come with us?" "I'm sorry, I'm hardly home and I have to drive home for at least an hour." "You can sleep at my place. I have a guest room", she suggested and Jaehyun stroked his forehead. "Minu, I'm really sorry. But I have babies at home who don't have a sleep schedule and a woman I would still like to see, unfortunately I don't have time for that." Jaehyun sounded stricter than expected, but he was tired, stressed, and plagued with guilt. "I'm ... so-so sorry." Her eyes were glassy and she looked like she was about to cry. "Minu ... it wasn't meant badly. The day was hard today ... I'm sorry ..." Jaehyun tried to clarify everything, because he didn't need any stress at work either. "No, I'm sorry. Have a nice evening with your wife." She then suddenly smiled and then turned around. Jaehyun was totally surprised for a moment, but he didn't want to waste any more thought. He got into his car and drove off.

10 pm You sleep already, but only lightly because you could never sleep well if Jaehyun was not with you. The TV light was still flickering because you needed some kind of noise that was in the background. But then the door opened and Jaehyun finally came to you. "I'm sorry I was so late. It was a construction site on the freeway and then a traffic jam ... I'll take another route tomorrow." He looked at you sadly, but you don't say anything and just kiss him. You were just happy to have him with you, to feel him, to smell him. You hug him as tightly as you could and never wanted to let go of him. "I missed you so much ..." he mumbled into your neck. But something about his voice worried you. You look at him and see how his eyes were red and glassy. "Jaehyun ... is everything okay?", You ask him worried and stroke his cheek. "No ..." He bowed his head because he didn't want you to see him like that. He didn't want you to have to worry about him too. "Jaehyun ... I can see that you are not doing well." But the few hours that he had with you he didn't want to talk to you about all of this. "Can we just lie there and just cuddle?" He asked, looking at you with puppy eyes. You weren't sure because you don't want him to suppress his feelings. But he looked so exhausted and talking about his feelings can be very exhausting. "Okay ..." you say gently and stroke his back.

daddy jaehyun masterlist

[whumpingcrow]

Pt.24 "Hunting for Bunnies"

CW: creepy/intimate whumper, stalking, discussion of homicide/suicide (explicit), injury mention/description, blood (explicit), strangulation mention, gun/gunshot mention, character death mention, drugs/alcohol mention, prison mention, tics/tourrettes (descriptive), ptsd/nightmares, panic attack, chloroform use, self injury, x-acto knife (brief), gag/restraints, discussion of past whump, vomit mention (brief), conditioned whumpee, stockholm syndrome-type language (let me know if I missed anything!)

Healing was a good look on Elias. As weeks went on, his smile returned to his face, his bruises slowly melted away, the numerous scars scattering his body faded into small pinkish lines. He cut his hair a little shorter, dyed a streak of blue through it. He and Tyson got matching tattoos, little rain clouds and with lightning bolts on their forearms. They were happy, very obviously so.

August wanted to kill both of them for it.

He wasn’t entirely jealous (he was, so jealous he was blood thirsty every second of the day), he was more so just frustrated that Elias thought he was able to be happy without August. He was stupid. Adorable, but stupid. He didn’t know that he needed August to survive. He didn’t know that being away from each other was killing them both. Rather, he didn’t know how much the distance was making August want to kill them both. It would have to be a grand gesture, a murder suicide so beautiful there’ll be copycats. He had to talk himself out of those violent fantasies several times a day, hold himself back from getting out of his car while he followed Elias and just grabbing him. Maybe he’d strangle him again, watch the life drain out of his face, watch him slip into the dark abyss of death. Maybe he wouldn’t, maybe he’d take him home and torture him until he was broken beyond broken and then put him out of his misery. Single shot to the face, like he’d made Elias do to Sawyer so long ago. And then...August guessed he would do himself in after that. He was tired of being in and out of prison, and if Elias didn’t exist anymore, then what would be the point in living? Maybe that was the thought that made him change his mind, when his hand was on the door handle and he was getting ready to make a huge, violent, romantic scene. Maybe the idea of a world without Elias was just too sad, and he knew he didn’t really want Elias dead. He just wanted him away from Tyson.

They were both entirely oblivious that August was even close by, let alone watching them all the time. He was renting a room at a motel a couple streets away from Tyson’s apartment, but he was hardly ever there. He spent most of his time parked near their apartment, which was conveniently on the first floor and had a large window in the living room that was facing the street. There was also a porch in front, where Elias would occasionally sit outside late at night and smoke cigarettes or blunts. Sometimes he was alone, sometimes Allen was there with him. August often thought about how hilarious it would be to walk up to both of them at times like that, just to see them both unravel with fear at the same time. A few nights, when Tyson is working and Elias is all alone, August sits out front in the grass next to a tree and just watches Elias inside. He can see him smoking in the living room, he watches him pass out on the couch, sometimes he goes into the kitchen, comes back with nothing. When he goes to bed, August watches him lock the door, and it pisses him off so badly he wants to throw a rock through the window. He doesn’t want to go inside, he’s letting Elias heal again, he’s respecting his space, for the moment. Still, knowing that Elias actively wants to keep him out stings. So, he holds off breaking in for as long as he can.

It’s just a shame his resolve isn’t so strong, not when it comes to Elias. He can’t stay away from him anymore, he knew it the second he bought a plane ticket back here to find him, despite the very real possibility of being arrested any second. On the plane, he came to the conclusion that he had absolutely no control when it came to Elias. He couldn’t stay away from him, he couldn’t restrain himself when he was hurting him. He loved Elias, loved him so much it was driving him insane. Things just didn’t make sense when they were apart, August could hardly form a coherent thought that wasn’t about Elias, or how much it hurt to only be able to look but not touch. Though, when he broke in he wasn't able to touch Elias still, but it was at least closer than being separated by a window.

Tyson and Elias left the house, August wasn't sure where or when, but when August finally left his motel and pulled up to their place, the car was gone. It would be easy enough to find them, August had Tyson's number still and could get his location in minutes, if he wanted. Instead, he tested the door handle. It was unlocked. He guessed if they weren't there it didn't matter to them whether someone broke in or not.

August didn't make it obvious he was there, not the first time. He went through some of their things, put everything back in its place. He took one of Elias's shirts, a pair of his boxers. He didn't think either of them would notice, which bummed him out because he wanted Elias to know he was close by.

The next time he snuck in, it was when Elias was there. August had held himself off for as long as he could, he'd been in LA for 28 days already and he hadn't been closer than six feet from him the entire time. So when Elias smoked a huge bowl and went to bed without locking the door, it was like he was practically inviting him in, and August just couldn't help himself. He let himself in, he smoked what was left in Elias's bong, and he walked around the house for a little bit, waiting to make sure Elias was actually asleep before he went to see him.

Something about watching Elias sleep had always made August go disgustingly mushy for him. He looked so small, so vulnerable and unaware. This time was even better, because this time Elias thought he was free, thought that life was moving on without August, and yet here he was, kneeling next to the bed and watching Elias's chest rise and fall with each deep breath. He was beautiful, August was jealous of the moonlight kissing his face and making his face glow pale blue, he was jealous of the blankets wrapped snugly around his waist, he was jealous that Tyson got the privilege of sleeping next to this - his - angel almost every night.

August didn't have the courage to touch Elias, he was afraid that if he started he wouldn't be able to stop, he didn't want to get carried away. It might start with trailing his fingertips over his face to see if he'd wake up, then if he didn't he might kiss all over his body until he opened his eyes, then he'd probably smother him with a pillow.

That time when he left, he took the blanket that Elias had been using in the living room earlier. It smelled like him. That night he slept in his car right out front, wrapped up in the same blanket that had touched Elias's skin, his clothes, his face. It was the closest he'd felt to him in months.

After that he was cocky. He found their spare key poorly hidden under a potted plant on the front porch, and he completely took advantage of it. He went in all the time when neither of them were home, cleaning up after them in small, nearly unnoticeable ways, or looking through their things, or just sitting on the bed where Elias often slept, wishing he was there at the moment. He also used it on nights when he couldn’t stand being away from Elias for a second longer, waiting until late in the night to sneak in and sit on the floor for hours to watch him sleep. Once, and he never did it again because Elias almost woke up, August reached out and gently pushed his hair away from his face, where it was tickling the tip of his nose and making his face twitch. It was a reflexive touch, August had only realized he’d done it as an afterthought, when Elias huffed softly and started to move under the blankets. August stared at his hand in disbelief, oh shit I just touched him. And then he left. But Elias still didn’t know he was there, and truthfully, August was getting bored. Bored? Try going insane. He wanted them to notice that something was off, that maybe they weren't as safe as they thought. But they just continued on with their stupid, repulsively happy lives. It was maddening, and at some point August couldn't take it anymore.

The first deliberate mistake he made to blow his cover was running into Allen at a grocery store. He wore a hat and a hoodie, and he carefully avoided him until he was near the front, in a crowd of people. August walked right into him, caught one of the many snack foods that he knocked out of Allen’s overflowing arms, and handed it back to him with a smile.

“Sorry, my bad,” he said smugly, watching Allen’s face fall from his tight frown to a blank, horrified stare. And then he just walked away.

Allen surprisingly didn’t go and tell Tyson and Elias that he saw him, at least if he did, neither of them seemed bothered in the slightest. That irritated August further. He’d been counting on Allen to run and tattle on him, rattle them up so that August could dive headfirst into chaos and whisk Elias away. Incompetent. Unreliable.

So August wrote love notes. He taped them to trees in the yard, tucked them under Tyson’s windshield wipers. They said stupid things like “you’re my favorite brand of heroin, I want to overdose on you” and “I can’t stop thinking about the heavenly way you scream my name today, you look nice by the way”. (His sister had taken a poetry class while they were in high school, he would like to think she would find this humorous. He’d tell her, if she would ever talk to him.) That shook them up a little bit. Really, he believed that Tyson was the only one finding and reading them, and he didn’t think he ever told Elias. Probably didn’t want to scare him. But he started really keeping an eye on the locked doors, as if August hadn’t already made himself at home there multiple times. Elias could sense his tension, it seemed, because he started passing out on the couch and staying there more often, waking up multiple times from nightmares. They were anxious. It wasn’t enough to have them anxious.

Again, August just couldn’t control himself.

So he paid Tyson a visit. He knew his work schedule, knew that he left a little after five in the morning, knew that on normal days he would be home and in bed with Elias by six, they would sleep until around nine. But that day, August was waiting for him, along with chloroform and some duct tape. He followed him to his car, he came up behind him and slowly lowered him to the ground as he knocked him out with the dowsed rag he was holding. He was hardly able to put up a fight. Then he dragged him to his car, and drove him to his motel room. It was easy enough to get inside unnoticed, and also easy enough to tie Tyson up in a chair and gag him before he woke up. He made sure it was all secure before he went back to their apartment.

Elias hadn’t woken up yet, so he had some time to smoke some of his weed and pour himself a glass of wine before he got started. He brought an x-acto knife from his motel, and he wandered around the apartment, slicing into his forearm and using his finger to smear his own blood into declarations of love on their perfect, off-white walls. He wished he could be there when Elias woke up. He could only imagine how his face would look as he walked around reading “I love you so much it hurts”, “you’re mine Bunny”, “we’ll be together forever”, things of that nature. He’d be mortified. Before he left, he slipped into the bedroom and left the nearly empty glass of wine, messy with his bloody handprint, on the bedside dresser so Elias would also see that upon waking up. Then, completely on impulse, he reached out and traced his fingertip over Elias’s cheek in the shape of a heart. The blood on his finger stayed behind on Elias’s pale skin, and August smiled brightly. Elias would be so scared when he got up and was all alone, he’d surely call Tyson first thing. Too bad he wouldn’t have his phone.

August left his car there, took the bus home with his hood pulled low over his face, folding his arms so no one could see the blood seeping through. His hands were buzzing with excitement, high off of the idea of being able to get Elias back.

---------------------------------------------------

Elias almost slept late into the morning, that was the first sign that something might be wrong. Tyson would usually be home when the sky outside was the washed-out blue it got before sunrise, would crawl into bed with Elias and pull him close. Then he would apologize to Elias for waking him up, and Elias would ignore his apology and ask him about his night, and then they would fall back asleep for a while. That morning, hours and hours after Tyson would usually be home, the sun was floating in through the partially opened curtains and turning the insides of Elias’s eyelids a bright red in it’s warm light. He woke up, stretched against the soft mattress, and then slid his hand over the sheets until he found Tyson, who would be in bed with him by now. Only, he was met with more blankets and an empty bed. Elias could feel the tired, confused scowl spread across his face upon realizing Tyson wasn’t right next to him, but he pushed the bitter anxiety that came with it away. Maybe he was making breakfast, maybe he was in the shower. It was just like Tyson to not wake him up when he decided to start his day, to try and let Elias sleep for as long as he could. He was sweet like that, always had been.

With a yawn, Elias tossed the blanket off of himself and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, stretching his tired muscles out. It was still relatively new, and a little weird, for Elias to be able to stretch and move and even breathe without the addition of earth shattering amounts of pain, but he was getting used to it slowly. It didn’t come with nearly as much strange guilt anymore, he could hardly hear that little voice in the back of his mind telling him that he wasn’t deserving of a painless life, a life of ease. Even some days, when that little cruel voice was more of a brutal yell in his ear, telling him that he wasn’t worth any part of this simple, enjoyable life, he was able to get past it now. The voice would say “this is way too nice for you, you don’t deserve any of this”, he was able to, for the most part, smile and think back, “yeah, and aren’t I lucky I get it anyway?” and most of the time, it helped. On days that it didn’t, Tyson stepped in instead, told him anything he needed to hear: “you deserve everything to be nice, you’re an angel” or “it’s a shitty apartment, not a castle, it isn’t ‘too nice’ for anyone,” or sometimes, when Elias couldn’t be convinced, “even if you don’t deserve it, I want you here with me”. It was starting to feel like today was going to be one of the days that Elias needed Tyson to be louder than that voice in his head, as he pushed himself to his feet with ease and felt bad about it. He tried to reassure himself, he told himself that Tyson was right in another room and all Elias had to do to feel better was go see him. That was easy, he could do that.

He would have done that, if right before he stepped toward the door he hadn't caught sight of a wine glass sitting on the dresser next to the bed. The glass was dirty with a rusty brown color, and Elias frowned and looked around the room before stepping closer to it. He was too afraid to pick it up (it still had some deep red wine at the bottom and Elias knew there was a chance that once it was in his hands it would end up as a stain on the floor) so instead he crouched down in front of it, inspecting the grime closely. It was hand shaped, surrounded by a couple of smudges and fingerprints here and there. It looked like blood.

“What the fuck!” Elias ticced, then, much quieter: “Ty?” As he stood straight, his stomach dropped and his head felt light and airy.

No more blood. No more blood. No more please, god, no more.

“Tyson!” He called louder this time, already feeling the familiar burning of panic clawing restlessly in his chest. There was no answer. His mouth and throat were a desert. His knees were shaking. There was blood in his room. Was he bleeding? He tried his best to keep his arms still enough for a moment to run them over his torso to look for any injuries. He wasn’t bleeding. He wasn’t even fucking hurt. “Pathetic,” he heard himself whimper, “pathetic, pathetic, pathetic! Ty-fucking pathetic- Tyson!” He stumbled back, away from the blood covered glass. Where was Tyson? Surely, Elias was being loud enough with his irritating shouting to get his attention, he would’ve come running, by now, with a comforting hug and reassurance and promises that Elias is safe and good and not dying.

The apartment was a crime scene straight out of a psychological thriller. Every few feet there were drops of blood on the hardwood, and then when he got the courage to look, he also saw that there was more smeared across the walls. As soon as he recognized it as more drying blood, he closed his eyes tightly, breathing picking up the longer he stood there. He tried to imagine Tyson’s voice teaching him how to calm his breathing: “Inhale, Eli. Deep, deep, all the way into the bottom of your lungs. Good.”

“Good boy, letting me cut you open like this. So pretty for me, all covered in blood.”

No more blood! No more fucking blood no more no more-

“Exhale now, baby.”

No more no more no more no more-

“Elias, breathe out. Stop holding your breath now.”

“You breathe when I allow you to breathe. I don’t think you’ve been behaving well enough for air.”

Don’t kill me don’t kill me don’t kill me!

With his shoulders held high and his head dropped toward the ground so that he could open his eyes without seeing the blood, he turned on his heel and threw himself back into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him, letting all the air out of his lungs in ragged sobs. Even then, it was hard to catch his breath in between his unintentional cries of “What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck!”

Something deep in his gut made him swivel around and lock the door, and then he slid down it until he was on the floor. He covered his face with his hands, knees up to his chest to protect himself as much as he could. It felt like a nightmare, waking up alone in the middle of the day to find his walls covered in blood, only he just couldn't wake up. “Tyson...Ty...fuck...Tyson…” he crawled across the room, toward his phone, left on the charger next to the bed all night. His fingers were trembling as he tapped in his password, then still as he found Tyson’s contact to call him. As he waited what felt like an agonizingly long time for the ringing to stop, he tucked himself in the corner of the room behind the bed. He made himself small, “pathetic,” so that any pain would be limited to his arms and his legs, and he wouldn’t be hurt so badly, at least.

He couldn’t wait for Tyson to start speaking once he answered the phone, only able to wait with bated breath until the long pause after the last ring.

Click.

“Tyson!” He sobbed, clutching the phone tighter to him like a lifeline. He felt like throwing up. “Ty-Tyson I need you to come ho-fuck-home, I need you to come home right fucking now! P-please-fucking shit- come home.” There was a soft, muffled, sigh on the other line, Elias let out another hoarse sob. “Where the fu-fuck are you?! I...I’m s-sorry, I’m sorry. Tyson please, please co-come home, something’s wrong-”

“Calm down, Bunny.”

No.

No no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO!

“You’re freaking yourself out way too much. You have a tendency to do that. It’s adorable, really.” August laughed, Elias almost threw his phone, barely stopping himself. “But not very helpful.”

“No…” Elias squeaked out. He craned his neck to look over the bed at the wine glass. August was here. Is he still here? Elias folded in on himself smaller, safer, more pathetic, “fucking pathetic!” He ticced. August laughed again. “N-no, please, August. Please don’t...don’t…”

August made a soft shushing sound, slightly softened by the static of the phone. Elias’s head always gets messed up when August acts like that, makes it feel like cotton candy and causes his chest to flutter in an agonizingly confusing way.

Sometimes he’s so nice to me I think, since I have no other choice, I’ll force myself to love him. Just so that my love doesn’t go unused. That way I’m not a waste of life completely.

“Stop working yourself up, sweetheart. Seriously, I want to have a conversation with you, you always do this.” He sighed, gruffly, with an air of boredom. “Pretty fucking annoying honestly.”

Sometimes I want to give him a bunch of his own stupid drugs and drag his ass down the stairs and chain him up and bleed him dry-

No more blood! No more blood!

Elias gritted his teeth, he tried to feel the scar on the back of his tongue, he tried to keep his mouth shut. “Where’s...Tyson?” He grumbled.

“Ugh, shut the fuck up!” August shouted.

Elias flinched, pulling the phone away from his face. He didn’t think he heard an echo of his yell in the house. He listened, close, and could hear August’s voice distantly on the phone, but not out in the hall. Not distantly, in the living room or kitchen. He relaxed a little, straightened out his spine as he pulled his phone back to his ear.

“I was about to tell you all of that. I had a whole speech...Impatient little thing.”

Elias forced himself to his feet, took a few shaking steps for the door. He didn’t turn the lock, not right away, shaking hand hesitating over the brass knob. “If y-you hurt him I’ll-”

Again, August chuckled cynically at Elias’s stammering, his false braveness, his beginning to an empty threat. Elias cringed hard. He wanted to hang up the phone and crawl back into bed, fall asleep, and then wake up from this nightmare to find Tyson next to him. But he wasn’t in a nightmare, and his apartment was covered in blood, and Tyson was gone.

“This would be so much easier for all three of us if you just listened, Bunny. Can you be a good boy and listen closely for a second?”

Embarrassingly, Elias felt his knees buckle at the words, and he reflexively nodded at August’s voice.

I’ll do anything you ask, just call me good, just stop hurting me, I’ll do whatever you want.

When August spoke again, Elias could hear the smile to his voice without even seeing him. “Perfect, sweetheart. Now, I need you to do everything I say, ok? Tyson will be just fine if you just do exactly what I tell you.”

“Oh, f-fuck,” Elias whimpered, pressing his forehead against the door to try and steady himself, “God fucking d-dammit-”

“Shh, Bunny. Take a deep breath.” Somehow, August had added some sort of softness to his words, making himself sound caring and gentle and human, and it made Elias even angrier.

Liar liar liar liar liar liar liar!

He forced himself to draw in a deep breath, just because he was told to, just because it was August’s voice telling him what to do, and it was easier to just listen to whatever he was told the first time rather than face the ugly alternative.

“I left my car keys on your kitchen counter, my car is right out front. Full tank of gas, it drives beautifully, by the way. Can I trust you to take care of it when you drive it over here?”

Elias unlocked the door with his breath still held, shuffling out into the hallway. He couldn’t help but glance at the blood on the wall, and his stomach churns terribly. Before he could even process it, his shoulder hit the wall as he stumbled to the side.

I love you so much it hurts.

Elias would prefer the freezing blanket of death over the paralyzing fear he felt reading that.

We’ll be together forever.

He could never get away. No matter where he went or what he did, August would find him, August would destroy him. Maybe it would be easier to just hand himself over to the wolves instead of trying to outrun them.

You’re mine, Bunny.

There were scars everywhere on Elias’s body that validated that, there was a switch in his brain that flipped every time someone sounded too much like August that also proved it, Elias belonged to him now, even when he was far away from him.

“I asked you a question, baby. Will you take care of my car?”

“You’re fucking c...crazy.” Elias cast his eyes back to the ground, pushing himself off of the wall and stumbling out to the kitchen. He found the keys August was talking about. Thinking about August in the apartment, helping himself to a glass of wine, tossing his keys onto the counter, made Elias sway where he stood.

There was a groan on the other line. August was annoyed, Elias would have to pay for that. “I know that, idiot. You don’t think I fucking know that?” A sigh, a soft thud in the back, a small laugh. “Just get here, ok? The address is written on a paper in my car. You might want to hurry, Tyson’s waking up and he’ll be wondering where you are. And if you take too long...he’ll be wondering why you didn’t come rescue him.”

He laughs.

Elias wants to kill him.

Click.

[luninosity]

*wanders by* Look what I worked on today...

Warnings for…NOT actual self-harm, but Jason spotting a scar on one of Colby’s hands, a scar he doesn’t know the story of, and briefly considering that possibility. (The actual story is much more of a cooking-related accident!) Plus general warnings for brief mention of Colby’s Awful Exes and family, & related emotional abuse.

#

“How’s this?” Jason waited, fingers resting over Colby’s hands in his. The hotel room wrapped comfort around them; it’d begun as nondescript, but had welcomed Colby’s rainbow cascade of scarves and Jason’s tidy unpacking. It was their home now, for these next two weeks of filming on location. “Helping?”

 “Very much helping, thank you.” Colby obediently didn’t move, holding both hands out. They were sitting on the bed, having changed into pajama pants and t-shirts—Colby’d borrowed one of Jason’s shirts, too large but in a cuddly flattering way—and the day had been long. They’d been filming into the evening, because Jill had wanted the specific light, dwindling away as Colby’s young and brilliant magician character got imprisoned and bound by iron and tortured, refusing to give up and lead the villains to Jason’s hero.

 The chains and cuffs had been fake, of course. Hollywood movie-making magic. A vast leap from real iron.

 But that didn’t mean they were soft or forgiving. They’d had hard edges, angled in spots, heavy, with no real padding. He’d had to struggle against them. He’d had to kneel while the villains shoved his hands to the floor and—cautiously, weight judged for performance—stepped upon them, pretending to shatter bones. The floor, and the impact, hadn’t been soft either.

 The bruises and scrapes and cuts were all too real. Colby winced as Jason spread healing salve across a tender spot. “Ow. Sorry, sorry, I know you’re being careful, I’m not complaining.”

 “Tell me if it’s hurting too much.” He tapped a finger over the back of Colby’s wrist. “And don’t apologize for it. Are you sure you don’t want me to get the medical people to check you out?”

 “They did, right after. I know you know; you were there. It’s fine, it’s not—ow—serious. It’ll heal.”

 “Might need some wrapping, though.” Jason eyed the bruises, the nicks. They shuffled purple and red across Colby’s skin, shame-faced. He didn’t like them existing, though he knew they weren’t anyone’s fault. “Just for tonight, to keep all this on. Not too tight.”

 “Whatever you think works best,” Colby agreed. “You’d know better than I would, as far as stunts and injuries. Ow, oh, drat, that one hurts a bit more.”

 That one was probably the worst, Jason judged: scraped raw, layers exposed, across Colby’s left wrist. The edge of that cuff had been both rough and sharp. And obviously his touch hadn’t been careful enough. “Shit. Sorry. Love you. Is the numbing part working, at all? It’s supposed to be helping.”

 “Oh yes,” Colby said, obligingly. “It’s already better. Thank you for doing this.”

 Jason sighed.

 “It’s true,” Colby protested. “I honestly do feel better. I’d tell you if not.” Hair tumbling to his shoulders in loose dark waves—not a wig, but extensions, left in for fantastical mystical effect—he was elfin and pretty and earnest, wearing Jason’s too-large shirt, eyes huge and blue and searching Jason’s face.

 “I know you would. But I also want to know if it’s not helping enough, okay?”

 “Yes,” Colby said meekly. “I’ll say so if it’s not working, I promise.”

 “Okay, then. Just checking.” He tried to make his touch as gentle as possible. He tried to be as soothing as he could: a protective bulk, not a threatening one. Hands offering care, not more harm. Weight and breadth positioned harmlessly on the bed, no demands.

 He knew Colby trusted him. He felt a small glow of pride that Colby did: enough to admit to being in pain, to wanting care. He loved Colby and would care for Colby with all his heart, all his strength, all his soul; not a question, not ever.

 He still hated seeing Colby in pain. Always had, always would.

 That’d be true for anyone he loved, of course. He’d had some discussions with their therapist about that, about grief and loss and Charlie and Jason’s own desperate need to save people, to be strong. He knew that about himself. But it was worse, it was the worst it could be, when the person in pain was Colby.

 Colby was the other half of his heart. The brightest piece of his life, the piece that’d dived in and reminded him how to swim and that he liked baking, the piece that’d made him laugh and drawn him into whimsical chattering conversations about wizards and dragons and romance and coffee. The piece that liked pink shirts with sequins on the sleeves, and anchovies on pizza, and history and stories and words that could steal an audience’s breath away.

 And Colby had been hurt before, so very badly, for so very long. Inside and out, physical and emotional bruises, day after day. Jason hadn’t been there then, hadn’t known him for the worst of it. But he knew now, at least as much as anyone could, after the fact.

 He’d seen Colby flinch from an unexpected touch, get wide-eyed at a large body hugging too tightly at a convention, and—the scariest of all—go silent and someplace else, someplace not present, at a drift of familiar cologne and a flash-flood of memory in the air. He knew what Colby had told him, which was enough to make Jason carefully store up a lot of emotions and then go down to the gym and beat the hell out of a punching bag for long enough to get his reactions under control.

 He knew about Colby’s family, too. The layers of those bruises—not physical, but emotional, a slow brutal evisceration of Colby’s sense of self and self-worth—went back decades. They were working on it; their therapist said that Jason being here, not leaving, not making Colby earn any crumb of affection, was the exact best thing he could do. Jason hoped so.

 He wished he could do more. He wished he could fight all of Colby’s demons. Like his character in this film, raising a sword. Lifting a shield. Fighting for a cause.

 He knew Colby’s hands pretty well, by now. He knew the way those slim graceful fingers felt in his, on his body—in his body, and oh that was always fun, Colby teasing him open and stroking him and pressing inside him. He knew Colby’s gestures on and off camera, the weight and shape of his palms, the backs of his hands, the old scars from period-piece swordfighting lessons and some small-scale stunt work, comedy pratfalls and in-role clumsiness. He knew about the short jagged line on the outside of Colby’s little finger on the right hand, from hopping a fence while filming a scene for that high-school coming-of-age comedy.

 He knew he didn’t know every smallest detail—he didn’t have a photographic memory—but he had a decent idea of Colby’s hands, he thought.

 Which was why his fingers slowed and came to a stop, as they felt something—as his gaze landed on something—that he didn’t recognize.

 Thin. White. Just above the heel of Colby’s left hand, across his palm. Long-healed—no texture at all, only noticeable if someone was paying extremely close attention, but enough to’ve left a line. Liam, Jason thought first, with a shock of anger like scarlet blood—but no, this was older than a handful of years, older than any injuries at Colby’s ex’s hands. Clearly so.

 Colby hadn’t seemed to notice—he’d been looking at Jason’s other hand, which had scooped up more salve—but he noticed the pause now. His eyes came up to find Jason’s, huge and flower-blue.

 Jason turned Colby’s hand more upward. Touched the line, very very lightly. His fingers shook.

 “Oh,” Colby said, soft with love, wry in the way of someone realizing, “no, it’s not what you’re thinking, and don’t say you weren’t thinking of at least two possibilities. It’s not either of those. I, er…well, I was about eleven years old and I’d been trying to prepare dinner for myself and I had absolutely nonexistent knife skills with regard to chopping carrots. And my father’s chef kept his knives very sharp.”

 “You were making dinner…for yourself?” He touched Colby’s palm again, traced the scar above the heel. It had plainly been a clean cut, straight, but deep enough to leave a mark once healed.

 Colby did that familiar nose-scrunch at him, the one that meant you won’t like this story. “You won’t like this story. But it wasn’t that bad.”

 “Tell me? If you want,” he amended. Not an order, not a demand. The freckle near Colby’s collarbone winked at him, playing peek-a-boo with the loose neck of Jason’s shirt.

 “Oh, of course. It’s hardly a secret.” Colby wiggled salve-smeared fingers at him. “So we were living in Paris then—Dad having been appointed as an ambassador and all, you know…”

 The storied instrument of his voice became, for an instant, more American than anything else, on the word Dad; Howard Kent personified the type of United States politician who embodied privilege, money, and self-interest above everything, including his marriage and his son.

 “…and my parents, being, er, my parents, did tend to do things like go on holiday without remembering that I existed, which meant the staff also generally forgot I existed, or took their cues from my parents, or assumed someone else had made some arrangements somewhere. So I was eleven and a bit, and I’d got used to making sandwiches and things, but I thought perhaps I’d try to cook, because I was trying to learn, you know, so I wouldn’t have to bother anyone.”

 Jason opened his mouth. Shut it.

 Colby lifted both eyebrows, inviting and amused. “Yes, go on, say it.”

 “You know everything I’m gonna say.”

 “I do. It’s all right; I’ve got you now.” Colby leaned against him, on the bed: easy contact, unremarkable, except for how it was remarkable, it was a marvel, given everything Jason knew.

 He wanted to cry for the boy Colby’d been, precocious and shy and so very alone.

 He held Colby’s hand. “I’m here. I’m always here. I’ll chop all your carrots if you need me to.”

 “You would, if I asked, wouldn’t you? Well, in any case, I managed to slice my hand open, as you might expect under the circumstances, and then I very nearly passed out from the sheer shock of it, and then after a few minutes I pulled myself together and found a first-aid kit and tried to patch it up, though it didn’t work terribly well because I was trying to do it one-handed.”

 “Jesus, Colby.” He could’ve demanded, why didn’t you call someone, a member of the security team, the household staff, a doctor, an emergency number, your parents? He didn’t.

 He knew why Colby wouldn’t. Not causing a fuss, not giving anyone a reason to disapprove or to not want him, not believing anyone would come or answer or care…

  His heart cracked open and bled more. Like younger Colby, huddled on a kitchen floor with a first-aid kit. “What happened?”

[ieattaperecorders]

“What have you done?” for jmart prompts?

Canon divergent, 1.8k, set at the end of S2. Prompt from here.

---

The only good news was that Martin was too tired to think anymore. After the twisting maze of hallways, after the chaos that followed, the police and questioning, he'd gone numb. His emotions had settled until all he felt was a small, quiet weight in his chest. And it was a relief to think that soon he'd be asleep, unable to feel even that.

Two corpses in less than six months. He really didn't like the pattern that was forming.

As he approached the door to his flat -- debating whether to shower and change, or throw himself fully clothed onto the bed --he noticed movement coming from an alcove at the end of the hall. He froze, staring, and the figure stepped into the light.

“Martin. Hello. Um . . . glad I caught you at home.”

Jon’s voice was startlingly steady, as if he was just there to run over some files or something. His body language told the real story -- shifting from one foot to another, holding himself at the elbows and glancing uneasily around.

“J- Jon!?” Martin caught himself just in time, and what might have been a shout came out as a sharp, strained whisper instead. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I need to speak to you . . . I -- I’ve learned some things, and I have to tell you now because I might not be able to later. I think I’ve attracted some, ah, negative attention.”

“No shit!" he kept his voice down, putting the volume into his gestures. "I just spent an hour talking to the police . . . they're probably watching my flat to see if you come here. Which you did!" He waved his arms in Jon's direction. "Why would you come here?!"

"I'm fairly sure I wasn't seen . . . I got in through the fire escape, the window wasn't even locked," he frowned, gesturing back to the other end of the hall. "You really ought to speak with your landlord about making this building more secure."

"Jesus, Jon . . . ."

"And I'm here because you're in danger, Martin," he took a step closer, and Martin felt himself tense. "You and Tim both. But I couldn't . . . Tim wouldn't listen to me if I tried . . . " he glanced at the door to the flat. "May I come in?"

It occurred to Martin that he probably needed to make a decision now. He could call the police, and either coax Jon into staying until they arrived or let him flee into the night. Otherwise . . . well, doing anything besides that would probably land him in trouble if any of his neighbors saw them talking out here.

Jon looked like hell. Disheveled, visibly sweating, clothes smeared with streaks of grey dust. But no blood, Martin noticed. Not a drop.

He was probably going to regret this. Without another word, he opened the door.

Jon seemed to relax a little once inside, out of the semi-public space of the hall. Martin glanced at the windows, relieved to see he'd closed the blinds before leaving that day.

"If I'm making a really big mistake," Martin sighed, locking the door, "and you've come here to kill me or something, I'd appreciate you just getting on with it. It's been a long day."

"Wh--" Jon glared at him. "Of course I'm not . . . don't be ridiculous."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is it upsetting to have someone imply you might be a murderer?" Martin was too tired to resist the mean little edge slipping into his voice. "I wouldn't know, personally."

Jon winced. "I . . . deserve that. I do. But I promise, I -- I'm not a danger to you. I wouldn't -- and I'm not even armed." He raised his hands above his head. "You can pat me down for weapons if you like."

For a moment Martin stared, then sighed and shook his head. "I'll pass."

He walked to the chair nearby and sank down into it. Whatever this was, Martin was at least going to be comfortable for it. Jon lowered his arms and briefly glanced around as if deciding whether he should sit as well, but remained standing.

"I didn't kill him . . . " Jon sighed. "But I don't have any proof, and I know I've been . . . erratic lately. I suppose I can't blame you if you don't believe me."

When he'd found the body, Martin hadn't known what to think. The horror of the scene had been too much, and yeah, he'd had the same thought as Tim -- the same thought as nearly everyone, it seemed. But it didn't feel right. Jon had been reclusive and paranoid, and maybe there was something deeper there that Martin wasn't qualified to guess at. But even if he was full-on delusional, that didn't mean he was violent.

Martin supposed that was what everyone said about killers, that they didn't seem capable of it, they weren't the type. But Jon was still a terrible liar. And there wasn't any blood on his clothes.

". . . I believe you. At least I believe you didn't kill anyone. But, Jon -- God, you've got to know how bad this looks. A body is found in your office, and you go missing. You're not the only one, either, no one can get a hold of Sasha, and it's not as if--"

A pained sound came from Jon, cutting Martin off.

"Sasha's dead," he whispered, and Martin felt his entire body go cold. "She's -- she's been dead for months, and we didn't know, none of us knew and we just kept going as if it was her . . . ."

The tremor in his body reached his voice, his words kept coming, less and less comprehensible. Martin stood and held out his hands, carefully.

"Okay. All right. Just . . . calm down and tell me what happened . . . from the beginning."

It was a little jumbled and twice Jon had to go back and fill in details, but he managed to get it across. What Melanie had seen, what had been on the tape. The thing that had chased him through the tunnels and how he'd been saved by Jurgen freaking Leitner of all people. What Leitner had told him about Gertrude and Elias, and the . . . stranger things he'd said about vast supernatural powers. By the time it was done, Martin's head was spinning.

"That's why I had to warn you . . . " Jon finished, now sat on the far end of Martin's couch, legs drawn up against himself. "Elias killed Gertrude, and I think he might have killed Leitner too, I don't know who else would have done it. And then there's what he said about the Institute. I don't know what it means, exactly, but . . . it isn't good, Martin."

"Okay . . . okay." The idea of dark gods in upper management was too much for Martin to deal with before a good night's sleep. The more tangible parts, that he could focus on. "Jon . . . you need to tell someone about this."

"Why do you think I'm--"

"I mean, like, the police! If you think Elias did this--"

"Who's going to believe me, Martin?" He tilted his head at him sadly. "Like you said . . . it looks bad. How do you imagine they'd react if I came in rambling about dopplegangers and magic books, then went on to accuse a man who can change security footage of murdering someone I've expressed hatred for on tape?"

"Fair point." Martin sighed. He could still picture the hostile, condescending looks he'd been given when he'd tried to explain about Michael.

"But . . . do you believe me?"

"I think I do, yeah," he said after a pause. "I think I saw the -- the Sasha-thing. In the tunnels. I believe you."

Jon let out a long, relieved breath. Martin continued.

"But Jon, you still can't be here. They're going to be watching all of us, it's honestly lucky they didn't see you already."

"I know. I wouldn't ask that, I just came to explain things to you," he sighed, getting to his feet. "I'll leave the way I got in. You should call the police after I go, tell them that you tried to convince me to turn myself in but that I refused. That way if anyone learns I was here, you won't be implicated."

". . . Right."

Martin felt a pull he knew was irrational, to tell him not to go, to at least stay the night here where it was safe. But he knew that was a bad idea. The longer Jon stayed, the more likely things would go badly for both of them. It looked like things would go badly for Jon either way.

It hit him very hard that this might be the last time they saw one another.

"Do you need anything?" Martin asked, reaching for his wallet. "I don't think I have much cash on me, but --"

"Oh . . . No, I . . . that's not necessary," Jon's voice had grown very quiet, and he had a strange look on his face. "I went to an ATM and took out everything as soon as I could. But thank you."

"Are you . . ." he cut himself off. He'd nearly asked Jon if he was going to be all right. Seemed foolish given the circumstances, less of an actual question and more of a plea. Instead, he took a breath and asked, "where are you going to go?"

"I think it's better if you don't know that. Plausible deniability and all."

"Right, let me rephrase that. If the police ask me where I think you're going, what's someplace where you won't be I can suggest?"

"Oh. Oh." Jon swallowed, and looked at him gratefully. "Outside London, I think. And . . . thank you."

Martin nodded. There was nothing more to say. No more excuses to keep him here.

"Be safe," he said, knowing he wouldn't.

Jon nodded. "You as well. Be careful . . . and don't trust Elias."

Then he was out the door, and gone again.

Martin sat in his apartment, alone, long enough to practice what he would say to the police, and long enough for Jon to get some distance away. Then he made the call. He wasn't going to get any sleep that night.

[jungkookiebus]

The Client pt. 3 | kth

Genre: sexworker!au x smut x angst x fluff (for real this time) Pairing: sexworker!reader x taehyung Word Count: 6k Rating: 18+ Warnings: multiple orgasms (m&f) x taehyung and reader are basically switches x oral sex (m&f) x cum eating x fingering x nipple play x cum swapping? x unprotected sex x creampie Summary: The painful weeks after Taehyung’s accidental confession have the both of you living in agony. Just when the both of you thought you were over the other, you quite literally run into each other in the rain. Taehyung walks away from you into the dark night. Do you have the guts to go after him?

Taehyung’s days drug by endlessly. Each day stretched further than the next when all he wanted to do was get home as quickly as possible and pass out just as fast. When he was asleep at least he didn’t have to think about you, that is, if his brain decided to give him a break. Sometimes he’d dream that he got to replay that night again with you being none the wiser and he never said it. He’d get to see you again. But then he’d wake up to the harsh reality that simply wasn’t true. Then his miserable day would start all over again. He knew better than to request an appointment and he had written and rewritten the same email that now sat in his drafts, collecting hypothetical internet dust. He also made sure not to go to that same café again even if it was close to his office. Any thought of you sent a pain into his chest so sharp he could hardly stand it. You had probably forgotten how foolish he had been and moved on from him, just another client lost to the crowd. And in a way, Taehyung wished for that, but he was very wrong.

Your POV

Two weeks earlier

You felt the tears welling up in your eyes before you could stop them. You blinked fast, hoping they would just go away but the emotion was too strong. Taehyung had just told you he loved you and you could barely breathe as you looked at him, watching as his face turned red in shock.

“Taehyung, please clean up and leave.”

He didn’t even bother using the bathroom this time. He fumbled as quickly as he could with his clothes and exited the room but not before shooting a pained expression in your direction. You tried to direct anger at him because you needed him out of the room as quickly as possible and it seemed to work as he shut the door behind him. You burst into tears as soon as the door clicked shut and you curled up on your side as you shuffled under the blankets.

You had been in this line of work for years. This was your life, your passion and you didn’t see it as some skeezy side job that helped pay the bills, no, this was the job. Your interest in sex and various sexual partners was why you decided to go into this line of work, you had never been made out for relationships and you were beginning to think you were incapable of romantic feelings until you met him. But since this was your job, you quelled those feelings because, just as the job entailed, you had to put on an act. You hadn’t hoped that he noticed the little extra you poured into each session, and maybe he didn’t, but you suddenly felt responsible for this. There was no way you could have a relationship with him, not in this line of work. Jealousy was a bitter bitch and you weren’t about to deal with that.

But what if he didn’t care?

No, shut up. You can never expect someone to be okay with your sex work…

You cried a little harder into the sheets. No feelings. It was in all your contracts because you thought you didn’t have feelings, not in a sociopathic kind of way, but…you gripped harder at the sheets as you screamed into a pillow. Why did this have to happen to you? You needed to get home, but you were too miserable to move. Reaching out of the covers you reached to the bedside for your phone, thankful there were no missed calls or texts, you had to give him that. Going into your calendar you canceled all your next week’s appointments and followed it with a lengthy email feigning sickness and some half-hearted explanation on how to reschedule. You weren’t in the mood to see anyone right now and you planned to use the next week to get a little retrospective.

The week didn’t make anything better. You weren’t sure what you were expecting but he hadn’t tried to contact you at all. He was staying true to your contract’s rule of no feelings, staying out of your way and not requesting an appointment. Maybe he thought you had moved past it and was just hoping you’d forget. That would be the best for both of you. So why did it hurt so badly?

You opened your schedule just for the following Monday and a frequent client took one of your two spots immediately. You almost wished that he had at least tried to schedule but there were none. The regular exhilaration you felt about work was gone as you read the client’s requests. Such bland and boring things. Taehyung’s thighs in the white, silk stockings popped into your head as you dropped it into your hands. You squeezed your eyes and willed your brain to shut up as you groaned inwardly. His sharp breaths were in your ear as he held you close to him, his thigh between your legs. Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes again. Why did he have to go and fucking say something? The both of you could have continued living this lie for a little longer. Your fingers dug into the roots of your hair as you willed yourself to stay the fuck away from your phone. Do not go texting or emailing anyone. You felt the softness of his curls dust across your fingertips. Your entire body ached, and you felt feverish. What was this feeling? You hated whatever it was.

Your appointment didn’t go well, which caused you to cancel your second slot and left the rest of your week off the schedule. You weren’t in it. He could tell and so could you. A job you once had passion in now felt cold and it scared you. Maybe when you saw your therapist again, you’d tell her about it, but for now you were going to stay home and away from technology.

Taehyung POV

Three weeks later

The pain had started to hurt a little less as time went by. Enough so that he had agreed to go to a party this coming Friday, finally feeling enough like himself to get out there again. His friend wanted to introduce him to some girl that worked at his firm and figured this was the fresh start he needed.

He looked at himself in the mirror as he held the paper bag wrapped bottle of wine he had procured on his way home from work. He wore a large, soft sweater and dark pants. Soft, he thought to himself. You had always liked when he dressed this way. He shook his head to clear the memory from his mind, wiping it clean with one swipe. Setting his shoulders straight he headed out of the door of his apartment and into the night. The air seemed to be charged with electricity. He squinted up through the city lights to see if he could get any glimpse of the night sky, but he didn’t see anything. One block into his six block walk, lightning flashed and thunder rumbled across the sky. He groaned as he realized his clear lack of umbrella. He quickened his pace, hoping he could make it before it started to pour.

Your POV

The night sky lit up above you as lightning streaked across it.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

You pulled your sweatshirt closer, not that it was waterproof, but you guessed it was something. You had two bags slung on one arm as you walked back home from the grocery store but had no idea the weather was supposed to get bad tonight.

“What did I do to deserve this?” you asked, face towards the sky as you felt the first drop hit your cheek.

You still had at least four blocks and by the way the wind picked up, this was going to hit sooner rather than later.

“Just don’t let me get pneumonia.”

You walked a little faster as the raindrops picked up. You heard with dread as behind you, they began to hit the buildings and pavement with more ferocity. Cold wind picked up, whipping around you, and bringing with it, cold ass rain. You shivered as it almost instantly soaked into the back of your pants and you cursed the minute you decided to step out of your apartment. You were stopped by a traffic light on a corner, continued to get soaked as you waited for the light to change. You dodged puddles as you skipped across the street quickly and didn’t realize there was someone else approaching just as quickly on the otherwise empty sidewalk. You didn’t have time to react as you ran square into someone’s chest before stumbling backwards. The stranger reached out for you, and to their credit, grabbed your hand but went down with you anyway. The both of you landed directly into probably the deepest puddle you had ever seen in your life, but at this point you were used to your shitty luck.

“Look, oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

Your entire body seized in fear because you knew that voice too well and it haunted your dreams, causing the new bags under your eyes. You wanted to sleep to forget, but you were afraid to fall asleep in fear that you might see his face.

“S’okay,” you mumbled quietly, gathering your bag and trying to stand quickly.

The rain poured harder and at this point you were soaked to your underwear and fucking miserable. Your back was to him as you attempted to flee the scene.

“Hey! Wait! Are you okay?” he called after you.

“Fine!” you called over your shoulder. The rain was pouring so hard he probably couldn’t hear you.

You felt his hand on your shoulder before he spoke. You were right under the streetlamp when you stopped dead in your tracks.

“This fell out of your bag.”

You had to turn around to get it back. Walking away would just be creepy and weird. Your hood was still up, but he’d know. You swiveled on your heel and looked up before you even fully faced him. His dark curls stuck cutely to his forehead; he was just as wet as you. His eyes widened in surprise and you looked down at the obvious bottle of wine in his hand. Looked like he was going on a date. So he had moved on. That’s exactly what you wanted so you weren’t sure why the pain in your stomach was so sharp. The apple sat in his hand so delicately and you suddenly missed those fingers more than you expected yourself to. You reached for it slowly and grasped it tightly before taking it.

“Thank you,” you mustered up. If any tears were to fall it wouldn’t be like he’d see them.

He looked pained and in shock. You were the last person he expected to see.

“Y-you’re welcome,” he stuttered out. He turned quickly and made his way down the sidewalk and back into the wet night.

You watched as he crossed under the next streetlight, tall frame falling into shadow again as he moved farther and farther away from you. You still stood, raindrops hitting the plastic bags and making your clothes feel ten times heavier. Your chest burned and you barely felt the cold as you cried, telling yourself to turn around and go home, but everything in your body screamed run.

You barely heard the cans, fruit, and glass bottles hit the ground as you dropped the bags and sprinted in the direction Taehyung had gone. The rain hit your face harder and it felt like you were running into the heart of the storm. He hadn’t left that long ago, so you should catch up to him soon, right?

“Taehyung!” you yelled as you tripped around an outdoor restaurant sign.

Tears fell freely now as you ran, feeling your shoes rubbing blisters on your heels as you slipped in them. Maybe he had turned down another block.

“Taehyung!” you yelled again as you stood on a street corner, but the sidewalks were barren.

You turned in circles, sobs coming out freely now as you gave in to the heartache. You had fucked up everything and now you were paying for it.

“_______?” you heard behind you.

You turned quickly and Taehyung stood, equally as soaked, and still clutching the wine bottle.

“Taehyung.” You were so surprised you weren’t sure what to say.

“I heard you calling me.” You saw the puffs of smoke drift from his mouth as the temperature dropped. You needed to get this out fast.

“I love you, too. I know it’s stupid. I know I said no feelings. I know I made you sign a contract. I never thought I was capable of loving someone else, but you did that for me. Over the months,” you gestured as you laughed nervously, “I started feeling things I had never experienced and that scared me. It was something I talked to my therapist about and,” you realized you were rambling and took a deep sigh. “I don’t want to let go of the one person who brought me those feelings.”

Taehyung stared at you, face unreadable as he searched yours. You felt that strange dread you always felt as a kid when you did something wrong, it ran from head to toe and made you feel sick. He was angry because you had rejected him and now, here you were, telling him you loved him. You knew it wasn’t fair, and you wouldn’t be mad at him if he didn’t reciprocate those feelings now.

The wine bottle hit the pavement with a dull crack as he moved forward. He had you gathered in his arms and lips on yours just as the sky opened a little wider, lightning lit up the buildings in an eerie blue glow. Thunder cracked overhead and tumbled across the sky like falling rocks down a mountainside. But Taehyung’s lips were warm on yours and you felt relief wash through you. Though, you felt as if you didn’t deserve it, he had accepted you.

“I don’t want to keep you from your date.” Your words came out shaky as you shivered, cold hands against his wet sweater.

He looked a little stunned at your comment.

“It wasn’t really…a date.”

Your heart plummeted again, despite getting what you wanted.

“Besides, fuck that date.”

He grabbed your hand and headed in the direction of his home, which was coincidentally not too far from yours, but he was in an upscale high rise closer to downtown. The both of you dripped across the marble of the lobby as he directed you to the elevator. You both stood, shoulder to shoulder, shivering, and exchanging awkward glances as you made it to his floor. Once he had you in his apartment, he turned the heater on low, as he guided you through his tastefully decorated apartment. Expensive looking art donned the walls of the hallway he led you down and each had their special lighting. The bathroom he led you too was fit for hotel suite as he stepped into the walk in shower and started the water. He stepped back out and up to you, hands tentative on the bottom of your soaked through sweatshirt. He pulled the dripping fabric over your head and you shivered as the cold air hit your skin. You crossed your arms over your chest to stay warm as he peeled your sweats off your legs.

“Get in the shower,” he said softly.

You slowly walked inside, easing under the stream of warm water, and reveled in the feeling of your limbs finally defrosting. He followed behind you, stepping under the rainfall shower with you, and you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, holding him close.

“I’m sorry for kicking you out.”

“I breached my contract.”

His hand was reassuring on the back of your head as your cheek pressed against his chest. He was right and you had every right to do what you did, but you wouldn’t have felt bad about anyone else.

“Yea, that wasn’t very fair to throw that at me.”

He held his breath a little, expecting you to tell him the truth, but still not ready when you said it.

“I know. My mouth moved before my brain could catch up and I’m sorry for putting you in that position.”

He sounded so sincere in his apology and he hadn’t tried to contact you at all this entire time.

“What now?”

Taehyung’s POV

What were you supposed to do now? He hadn’t really expected to be here in this position. Across the bathroom, his phone vibrated on the counter. Probably his friend wondering where he was as he stood up his somewhat blind date. But he was exactly where he wanted to be three weeks ago, standing here with you in his arms. He wanted to ask if you were real. You shivered slightly as you continued to warm up and he held you closer to him. He missed the feeling of your skin against his. You were here with him and it wasn’t an appointment and he wasn’t under any contract.

Instead of answering your question, he released his hand to tilt your chin upwards so that he could kiss you properly. You sighed softly against his lips and he felt the familiar flutter in his chest that he only associated to being in your presence. His lips were against yours in a gentle kiss, touching just for a moment when he whispered.

“Use me.”

You looked startled by his statement and somewhat confused.

“W-what do you mean?”

His thumb was against your chin, rubbing lightly along your skin as he continued to stare into your eyes. He wanted you to know that everything he said from this point forward was from his heart.

“Use me like everyone uses you. I know it’s your job, but when was the last time you did something you wanted? Use me in any way you want, anywhere you want. You name it, and I’ll do it.”

You were biting your lip as he spoke. He knew you were doing it in thought, but the action had him wanting to bite down on the pink flesh himself, but he waited. You searched his face as he watched the gears in your head turn. It seemed as if this were the first time you were being asked this question. He slid his hand along the small of your back, drawing you closer.

“I’ll give you anything you want,” he said as he dipped lower to your face again. You blushed deeply as he brought his face closer. “Are you shy now?”

“No,” you whispered.

“You know,” he started, “the last session; the one I—anyway, you were behind me one day in a coffee shop by my office, but you were on the phone so you didn’t notice me.” Your eyes widened in surprise. “You looked so casual, so relaxed, so you. I wanted that version of you, so that’s who I created for that session; that was the only way I could really be close to you.”

A knowing sigh passed your lips and cooled the water on his face. “I had begun to wonder…I suspected you had feelings some time ago.”

He felt ashamed for letting too much through and putting you in a difficult position. In a sick way, it worked out for him, but he was hoping that with time you’d let him make it up to you.

“What would you like me to do?” He let his voice drop, sounding gentle, but tried to entice something from you.

Your POV

Your body shook at the timbre of his voice and you wanted to basically climb him right here in the shower. What fantasy of yours did you want? There were so many. A few didn’t fit into this situation, some were questionable, maybe a few were embarrassing, but you knew he would do literally anything you asked of him.

“Do you still have the stockings?”

You felt him grow a little bit harder against you, cock twitching on your stomach as the hand on your back tightened.

“Yes,” he breathed.

“The shirt?”

“It’s at the dry cleaner, but I definitely have a substitute.”

Reaching behind you, you turned off the shower.

“Put them on.”

Taehyung complied immediately, stepping from the shower to grab you a towel before grabbing one for himself. He dried himself quickly as he slipped into the connecting closet. You towel dried your hair so that the cold water wouldn’t drip down your back as you waited. A few minutes passed before he stepped back out of the closet. Instinctively, you started at his feet, admiring the silk wrapped around his calves and then his thighs. His cock was fully erect now, a subtle pink glow to his skin. The shirt he had on looked expensive and tailor made. He left it unbuttoned, but it fit perfectly across his broad shoulders, sleeves ending at his wrists. You walked forward and rubbed the fabric between your fingers. It was the softest cloth you had ever felt, and it flowed like air across his skin. The white of the shirt only accentuated the honey color of his skin as you ran your fingers over his stomach.

“Will this be okay?” He sounded like a child waiting for appraisal from its elder.

“This is perfect, Taehyung,” you said while still running your hands over his body. They now rested on the outside of his thighs. You really did like the way he looked in these.

Slowly, you eased yourself to your knees in front of him. He looked surprised as his eyebrows disappeared beneath his hair. Something primal inside of you stirred as he stood towering over you, wrapped in soft fabric, with his hard cock right in front of your face. To say you missed him would be an understatement. You wrapped your hand around him gingerly, knowing just how sensitive he was. His hips barely moved as your soft hand closed around the base. You ran your other hand up his stockinged thigh, feeling his muscles flex beneath your palm. He groaned as you reached around to grasp a handful of his ass in your hand. Pushing him forward, you guided his cock between your lips and sunk as far as you could, your nose kissing your finger. His hands flexed at his sides as he further became submissive in your hands. He was falling and was more than willing to receive whatever was at the bottom. You held him there in your mouth for a few seconds, letting him feel the warmth of you wrapped around him, tongue moving along the sensitive skin on the bottom of his cock. You watched him as his head tilted down to look at you. His hair hung in half dried curls, framing his perfect face and suddenly you thought you had never seen anyone more beautiful than him. You slipped back slowly, leaving your hand at the base, until just the tip was nestled between your lips like a lollipop. Sucking lightly, you came off with a pop, never breaking eye contact. His body flushed with goosebumps as your eyes continued to dare him to look away. Precum still leaked from his cherry red tip. It glistened in the bright lights of the bathroom, beckoning like a sweet dessert. You wanted more of him, to devour him whole and make him yours forever. Taking him in your mouth, you sank down quicker this time, pulling back and setting a rhythm. His muscles twitched beneath your hand as you kept it on his ass, almost pushing him in time with your mouth. His moans pitched, echoing off the marble walls, a symphony with the most beautiful note. He was biting harshly into his bottom lip as he kept his eyes locked on yours. He wanted so badly to screw his eyes shut but didn’t dare look away. You saw his eyes well with tears, a few escaping down his nose until it dripped perfectly underneath your own eye. Your name tumbled from his lips in quick gasps now.

“_ ____, I’m g-gonna come, oh my god.” He didn’t seem to be getting enough air as he forced his orgasm to wait. His skin was hot beneath your hand and his cock was so hard in your mouth you were sure he was using a great amount of self-control.

Not wanting him to lose it, you pulled off quickly saying, “Come.” Before you sank back down on him, removing your hand and pushing him far back into your throat. His groan was guttural as he almost doubled over, fingers soft on your shoulders in case he lost his balance, as he came in hot spurts down your throat. He was against your gag reflex, but you focused on breathing through your nose and concentrated on your breath. Both hands were tight on his thighs now just so you could feel the way they moved beneath your hands. His hips stuttered forward into your mouth in a few shallow thrusts until you felt the last drops. No longer able to breathe this way, you pulled off his cock and quickly swallowed so that you could exhale.

“Fuck,” you whispered through a raw gasp.

Taehyung’s hands were on his knees as he stumbled backwards, ass meeting the cold counter, and he slumped back. He looked like a perfect statue carved from the most precious stone. His dark hair stuck to his cheeks in sweat or water, you weren’t sure which. The white silk shirt was soaked through and plastered to his skin and it accentuated the soft muscle of his chest. It opened perfectly to expose his stomach and frame his bottom half. His cock was still hard, and the stockings had stayed in place. You licked your lips and rubbed your thighs together as you drank him in. He cocked an eyebrow when he looked at you, finger coming up in a ‘come here’ motion. You stood, sauntering over and his eyes raked over your body hungrily. Slotting yourself between his legs, you ran your finger under his chin, and then your thumb over his bottom lip. He was looking into your eyes, waiting for your next command.

“You have to make me come no less than three times.” You let your eyes flutter innocently to his lips and then back up to his eyes. “By any means possible.”

Taehyung inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes. He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you closer again. With a sigh he kissed you and you fell into it, body, and soul. One of his hands went between your legs as he continued to devour you. You moaned, fingers digging into the stockings as he rubbed his fingers along your slit, gathering every bit of you that spilled on his fingers before circling your clit. You gasped in his mouth as he pinched your nipple between his fingers and twisted lightly. You moved your hips over his fingers, and he stilled, letting you do the work. He pinched a little harder on your nipple as he bit down on your bottom lip. You moved faster now, circling, and grinding your hips on his fingers. God, how you missed these fingers. You were all but crying into his mouth when your muscles began to tense. Your calves ached as your toes curled painfully, but the pain wasn’t going to make you stop the rhythm that was soon going to send you over the edge. As your whines pitched and your entire body began to shiver, Taehyung twisted your nipple harshly and pressed harder against your clit. You ground against him, breathing heavily through your nose as Taehyung seemed to be intent in gathering every moan you had. You couldn’t help the clench in your jaw when you came, making your lips immobile against his. You keened and your breath seized in your chest. His lips were at the corner of your mouth as you wet his fingers even more, hips slowing to a halt as you finally let out an exhale.

“One,” he whispered as he placed a kiss to your cheek.

Your body was already beginning to feel the sleepy side effects of your orgasm, but you knew you could take it. He pushed you back lightly as he stood in front of you, placed his hands on your shoulders and switched positions, picked you up and sat you on the edge of the counter.

“Now it’s my turn,” he smiled as he dropped to his knees. He spread your legs as wide as he could, warm hands on the insides of your thighs, so that he could get a better look. Your skin shone with your cum and Taehyung didn’t want to waste another second without tasting you. He leaned forward and licked a long, slow stripe up your center. His tongue dipped inside of you quickly and curled. He drew it back out and swallowed.

“How does it taste?” you asked as you buried your fingers into his hair and pushed him a little harder against you when his lips were back on you.

“Mmpf,” he moaned into you as he fucked you with his tongue. His nose pressed against your clit as you wound your fingers into the hair at his nape. He shook his head quickly against you and with your other hand planted on the counter behind you, you began to move your hips against his face. Taehyung wrapped his arms around your thighs so that he could pull you as close as possible. His eyes opened to meet yours and his pupils were so blown that you could no longer see the chocolate color there. He looked beautiful between your legs on his knees, almost as if he were born for this. His mouth told you this truth. He knew your body more intimately that any other client you had ever had. He knew the perfect ways to edge you, and at the end, have you coming so hard that your vision darkened. He moaned now, sending vibrations straight into your clit. Your entire body was so hot, and it was soon hard to keep your sweaty palm from slipping against the counter. Holding his head, you ground as hard as you could and with the combination of his tongue and the deep rumbles escaping his throat, you came again. He kept his mouth on you, tongue hot inside as you clenched. He drank you in as if you were his last meal. Gently, he nuzzled his nose against your swollen clit, licking up all that he could of you. When he sat back, you saw your creamy cum on his lips and chin. You grasped his chin, forcing him to rise on his knees as you came down, licking the cum from his lips slowly. It was bittersweet against your tongue and Taehyung moaned. Your tongue was past his lips and the taste of you was even stronger on his.

“Are you tired yet?” he asked smugly when you pulled away.

“You wish.”

His smile was devastating as he stood. What you wouldn’t give to see that smile every day of your life. Were you willing to sacrifice for him? Mid-lust ____ probably shouldn’t think about this right now. He placed his hands on the counter on either side of you as he leaned, looking at your face.

“Can I make love to you?” he asked.

Your body flushed and shivered involuntarily, and you felt new arousal bloom in your stomach. Something about the way he said it had you wanting to simultaneously coo over him and fuck his brains out.

“Yes.”

What more was there to say? He rubbed his cock along your slit and your gaze cast downwards to watch. The stockings still looked perfect and the shirt was still giving him every favor. He pushed in slow, feeling your swollen walls take him in fully. When he bottomed out, you gasped and clung to his shoulders as his hips began to move. His breath shuddered against your skin as he buried his face into your neck. His fingers dug into your hips as he quickened his pace. You weren’t sure what you did to get blessed with someone whose cock curved perfectly into your g-spot, but in this moment, you weren’t complaining. Your clit was already so sensitive that any move against it had your stomach clenching and your eyes rolling. It really wouldn’t take much for him to make you come a third time and you were really hoping he wasn’t taking this as a challenge. You wove your hands under his arms and dug your fingers into his shoulder blades as you pushed yourself more into him. Taehyung breathed heavily against you.

“Are you going to come, princess?” He picked his head up and was now placing hot kisses to the underside of your jaw. Your body felt as if it were about to melt through the counter and you clung desperately to him. You couldn’t even talk, your chest burned, and he was hitting your g-spot so rapidly that you could barely form a simple word. But for him, you would do this.

“T-tae,” you stuttered.

He didn’t stop as his lips that were against your cheek, parted. “Yes?”

“I love you,” you whispered as you gave into the feeling of him. Your third orgasm hit and this one melted into your body, soothing and erasing all the bad things that had happened in the past few weeks.

You weren’t sure if what you heard from him was a choked sob or just the sheer force of his orgasm, but seconds later he spilled inside of you, hips still moving. He shivered in your arms again. You let him thrust through his orgasm even though you felt as if you were on fire. You’d do anything for him. When he looked at you again, you realized that he had begun to cry. Tears welled in his soft eyes as he cupped your cheeks. He sniffed and his eyes moved rapidly as he looked at every part of your face. Your hands were on his wrists, gently applying pressure.

“Tae, what’s wrong?”

He shook his head as he sniffed louder and laughed. The tears spilled freely now and the juxtaposition to his smile was almost haunting.

“Nothing’s wrong.” His tears slowed and his dewy cheeks began to dry. His hands were still pressing softly into your skin as he seemed lost for words. “I just still can’t believe you’re here.”

The full weight of his feelings for you and all the emotions you flowed through the last few weeks, came rushing down on you like a tidal wave.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry, too!” he cried as he quickly wiped at the tears escaping the corners of your eyes. “I’m sorry. We’re meant to be happy right now, I’m sorry.”

“No,” you said as you gently shushed him. “I am happy. That’s why I’m crying.”

“So,” he whispered softly, face open and innocent, “do you think we can make this work?”

Could you? Who knew? There was much to talk about, and you weren’t even sure where you would start. You definitely needed to talk to your therapist about this but, right now, you knew you didn’t want to let this feeling go. You had gone years thinking you weren’t capable of love or being loved. Who knew it would take a client of yours to pull out those feelings you were sure your brain had dumped at birth? How far were you willing to go?

All you knew was that you were ready to traverse even the most difficult path if it meant Taehyung would be waiting for you at the end.

“Yea,” you whispered back as you squeezed his wrists a little more, “I think we can make it work.”

[writing-wrxngs]

Return (Bad End)

(Fuck it. It’s REAL ANGST TIME NOW. Have a lil flash forward babes. This is a two parter!)

Phil had never joined his sons on their new venture. He figured it was time to let them have their own escapades. Maybe also have some time for them to learn to deal with problems without him. He had staunchly protested any ideas of coming in and saving the day. Even as word got out that it was going badly. Even as he began to worry.

That was then. Now, he had no choice but to come. He was currently being led to their base of operations by Tommy’s friend Tubbo. The two had never been around each other alone, but for a multitude of reasons, he was the one sent to fetch Phil. “It isn’t much, is it?” Phil asked as they stepped into Pogtopia’s headquarters.

“Oh no, it’s all underground. You’ll see,” said Tubbo, leading him down a winding stone staircase.

At the bottom, waiting for them was Niki. “Phil!” She cried, giving him a friendly hug.

“Where are the boys?” He asked urgently.

Niki beckoned Phil to follow and led him to a room. The door was closed but for a crack. It was silent, except for some mumbling from Techno that Phil could not decipher, and something that sounded like Tommy... crying? Immediately, he stepped in, and the noise made Tommy and Techno look up.

“Dad?” The both said, astonished.

Tommy had been crying. The boy scrambled to Phil and looked him in the eyes. “I didn’t want to do it! Dad, I had to! Someone had to stop it!”

“What?” Asked Phil, dumbfounded, until he surveyed the rest of the room. It was wrecked. Papers were strewn about everywhere, notes that didn’t make littered every surface, and, on the bed, lay Wilbur.

His middle son, the charmer, the musician, the good older brother, was unconscious. The sheets were soaked red, and his breath was shallow and uneven. His brown hair hung unevenly over unopened eyes. Wrappings for a bandage covered his torso. Techno stepped in to pull Phil away from the scene after setting Tommy back down. “Tommy did what he had to do.”

Niki stepped in, as did Tubbo, the whole group in the room to explain to Phil what had happened. Niki looked at Phil empathetically. “Wil, he... he hadn’t been the same for a while, but I think you knew that. Things got too far, more than the bombs, more than what Techno even had planned. We were all too scared to stop him, Phil. Tommy tried to talk to him, but they got in a fight, and then...” she trailed off.

Phil turned to the others. “Is this true? Did it really come to this?”

Tommy, who was now being comforted by Tubbo nodded.

“Techno, you’re the eldest, why didn’t you do anything?”

“You can’t level with a madman. I didn’t know he was off the deep end until it was too late. I just wanted a little destruction, not all this.”

Phil sighed, not out of disappointment or anything, his boys were acting exactly as they always do. He turned back to Wil on the bed. “So what sort of shape is he in?”

Niki folded her hands and looked down. “Well, for a bit there, he was dead. Me and the others brought him back though. The thing is... resur...”Niki stumbled over the word. “Resurrection, is not an instant task sometimes. The body has to be in good enough shape for the soul to hold onto. Wil’s soul is really trying, but... only time will tell.”

It made sense. Phil couldn’t see the wound, so he assumed it was on Wil’s back. If you looked closely, you could tell that he wasn’t just sleeping. A slight twitch here, a hitch in his breath there, a flutter of eyelashes, all of it adding up to something happening deep inside beyond comprehension.

“If it makes you feel any better,” said Tubbo, in an unsure tone, “he can’t feel any of this. He won’t remember it either. I know. When I got blown up, I was gone for two days, but it felt like nothing.”

“Huh. I always thought it was instantaneous. Guess I’ve never been in bad enough shape to find out.” Phil took Wilbur’s hand. It felt neither cold nor warm, and had only the faintest pulse. The sensation terrified him and he dropped the hand almost immediately.

Tommy looked up at his father. “So now what? Everything’s ground to a halt. Wilbur’s the whole reason we keep moving.”

Moving closer to Tommy, Phil gave a weak smile. “Well, I guess the only thing to do is re-evaluate. But most importantly, we have to plan what to do when Wilbur wakes up. Your brother might come back and learned his lesson, but he just as equally could be bitter.”

“I’ve been trying to tell him that,” said Techno.

“When has he ever listened to you?” Joked Phil, who felt almost shocked he was capable of humour. “I suppose we should get to work. Your little revolution is a worthy cause, and I’m sure we can get through it without the drastic measures your brother wanted to resort to.”

They spent until sundown working on what to do next, until the boys retired to their rooms, and Phil went to Wil’s, where Niki had stayed behind to tend to him. “How is he now?”

Niki shook her head. “If he’s improving, it’s very slowly. I’m trying not to be scared and stay optimistic, but, I just don’t know.”

Phil nodded in grim understanding and took the same seat by Wilbur’s bed as before. He swept the curls away from his son’s face gently. He hadn’t watched any of his boys this closely since they were little.

“You’re a good father, Phil,” said Niki.

Phil smiled. “I’ve tried my best. They were a handful. Still are. Even now,” he said, turning to the wall nearest to him “I CAN HEAR MY YOUNGEST EAVESDROPPING” he called out.

“Sorry!” Replied Tommy, who scrambled back into bed, only to return a few minutes later, much quieter.

Phil spent the rest of the night in that room. Niki had gone to bed awkwardly in one of the other chairs, but Phil stayed up. He sat in that same chair, held Wil’s hand, just hoping for something, anything.

Nothing came. Instead, Wilbur’s hand grew colder.

And colder.

And colder.

[autistic-singer515]

Here’s my fan art sketch of the scene I want in the Animaniacs reboot season 2. That’s right when Julia has a nasty side effect from the obedience chip, she turns into a giant mouse monster out of anger. It causes her to go out of control. As Julia was about to try to kill Brain, Pinky pushed him to safety and takes the hit instead. Julia tries to control herself as she saw Pinky unconscious. She looked at the blood on her big claws. That unpleasant sight frightened her. She shook her big hands in fear and sadness. She frightfully looked at Pinky and her bloody claws back and forth. She felt sick to her stomach upon the realization of her actions. Now she hated the idea of killing, even the Brain.

What has she become?

“Oh no....” Julia thought sadly. “ What have I done to him? I’m a monster! A terrible monster!”

Due to her anger and confusion and the electrical shocks, Julia’s monsterous instincts were taking over her mind. She plans to get revenge on the Brain and everyone else in the world for neglecting her.

“But why would Pinky sacrifice himself to save a tyrant?” Julia thought angrily. “The world likes to play a little cruel game with me! Then nobody loves me or understands me! Everyone in the world is evil! Including me! I might as well destroy everything and myself, starting with you, Brain! You made me like this and you will pay!”

As the Brain witnessed Pinky’s unconscious body, his anger towards Julia rose up. He swore revenge against her. He knew she had to be stopped and to be turned back into a normal unintelligent mouse. But after he tried to stop Julia once and for all, she already grabbed him in an attempt to squeeze him to death. The Brain tried to bite Julia’s hand to try to get her to let go. But Julia’s muscles were too strong and numb to feel pain. But then the Brain saw Julia struggling with her mind and her electrical shocks from the defective obedience chip on her left ear. She was trying to calm down after she saw what she did to Pinky. She’s trying to keep her love and compassion within her. But the obedience chip was making it too difficult for her to do so. Her sanity was slipping away from her. She was downright scared of losing herself and killing everyone uncontrollably.

The Brain’s eyes widened to the realization and felt sick to his stomach with the squeezing making it worse. It felt too familiar to him. He remembered getting abused with the electric cheese platter from those mean scientists. He remembered how much it angered him to no end that he plotted world domination. It conditioned him into not showing affection towards Pinky or other people. Just so he wouldn’t feel weak and helpless if he gets rejected by them after showing them love.

No wonder Julia was plotting revenge against him just so she could make the world a better place for everyone. Just so she could become a hero with good intentions. It was all because the Brain pulled a familiar stunt as the scientists did. Now the Brain knew how it felt for Julia to be abused like this. He made her like this and it was all his fault.

For years the Brain tried and tried to remain calm about not succeeding in taking over the world. But after years of repressing his true feelings for Pinky, his behaviour gradually had gotten worse and worse. The more the Brain looked deep within himself, the more he felt like a different mouse all together. He remembered his other recent actions, including attempted kidnapping of people and attempted child labour. They were the things his former arch enemy Snowball would’ve done.

He knew that deep down inside, he never wanted to do those horrible things, but the world was recently becoming a lot more stupid, violent, crazy, frustrating and difficult for him that he was too angry to hold back. He felt like he had to do his job for world peace and for good reasons even though his actions were a lot harsher than normal. He was hurt before. He didn’t want to be the helpless little mouse anymore. Because of this, the Brain tried his hardest to ignore his love for Pinky. But now that got his funny friend seriously hurt. The Brain ignored Julia’s empathy and then he ruined her mentally. The Brain’s heart stings just thinking about those horrible memories.

The Brain knew he started this whole mess. He wasn’t sure he would survive his own squeezing situation himself. But he hoped that at least Pinky would wake up even if he’s gone. Maybe he could stop Julia from rampaging.

If only the Brain was as kind as Pinky.

Julia’s insults towards the Brain played repeatedly in his throbbing mind that it was almost unbearable for him to handle. He gritted his teeth and sweated with anxiety.

“You monster!”

“All this time I’ve been manipulated by a tyrant!”

“Tyrant!”

“Monster!”

“Tyrant!”

“Monster!”

“Tyrant!”

“Monster!”

“Julia was right about everything about me..... What have I become?....” thought the Brain, feeling the guilt and fear overcoming him. “I thought I could make the world a better place.... But I messed it up real bad.... I’ve made too much irrational decisions.... I’m not as intelligent as I thought.... I’m no better than the scientists and Snowball who abused me long ago.... And now Julia is getting worse because of me!....”

How the Brain wished Pinky would wake up right now to help him get out of his bad situation. Just like they always did for each other. But Pinky still didn’t seem to wake up.

What would Pinky do if he was in the Brain’s situation?

Ask Julia stupid questions about eating yourself and then disappearing after that? No! Definitely not! That’s ridiculous! That won’t work for her like it did for his demonic robot son, B.R.A.I.N! She would already know the answer.

Then the Brain remembered the time Pinky constantly apologized to him when he was a green mouse monster. It always reverted him back to his normal mouse size until the serum wore out of his system. As the Brain continued watching Julia struggling with her mind, he thought that if it weren’t for Pinky, he could’ve been like Julia. An out of control monster.

The Brain remembered what Julia once said, “ I think it’s time I stopped speaking from the brain and start speaking from the heart.”

The Brain finally realized that he should’ve listen to Pinky’s advice in the first place, that is helping Julia before she destroys everything, including herself. He finally realized that he was the one who should apologize to Julia, not Pinky. Maybe if the Brain could apologize to Julia, maybe he could try to calm her down. He may not be Pinky, but he knew that the least he could do right now was just try.

“Just be yourself, Brain.” thought the Brain. “But be kinder.”

So the Brain apologizes to Julia.

The Brain: “I don’t know if you can hear me say this.... But.... I’m sorry.... Julia.... I made you a monster and Pinky is badly injured because of me.... What have I done?..... How could I’ve been so cruel to you?.... Deep down inside me, I really feel awful for forcing you into being my First Lady... But I was too proud to admit it.... I know what it feels like to be helpless, Julia....”

But it seems that Julia wasn’t buying the Brain’s apology. She squeezed the Brain too tight that his lungs were about to burst. The Brain groaned and sweated. It was starting to get difficult for him to breathe.

“Liar!!” yelled monster Julia. “You’re lying! You’re heartless! You’ll always be heartless! Just like everyone else in this world!”

The Brain said “believe me, Julia. I was once like you. Lonely, afraid, angry and abused by scientists. I wanted to take control for myself and the world just to show everyone I’m not a dumb weak mouse anymore. Pinky was right.... I was mean and angry because I was afraid of showing love.... I didn’t know about love enough...”

“Pinky’s better at showing compassion than me..... But right now he can’t do that.... So I want to help you now....” the Brain continued. “I promise to let you make your own decisions this time! No more neural implants! No more mind control! You name it! Just please control yourself before it’s too late!....”

Monster Julia’s eyes widened with confusion.

Could the Brain be telling the truth?

Monster Julia tried harder to control herself.

“I... I didn’t mean to hurt Pinky!....” said Julia. “I want to stop hurting people.... But why am I still angry?.... Why are you so nice to me all of a sudden?.....”

The Brain waited with baited breath for Julia to finally calm down.

Could Julia be coming to her senses?

But then her monster instincts took over again and then realized something. The Brain must be lying. He was just pretending to be nice to her, just so he could use her again.

Monster Julia yelled “No! You’re never like me! You’re trying to use me again by lying! Well, no more! I won’t take orders from you anymore!”

The apology wasn’t working. Not liked it worked for him as a green mouse monster. Dread, fear and hopelessness was overcoming the Brain.

The Brain felt just as helpless, sad and scared as ever. His worst fear was about to do him in. And it was all his fault. His body shook fiercely.

“If only I could fix all this”..... said the Brain tearfully. “You have every right to hate me... I deserve this.... Why didn’t I listen to you or Pinky?.... I don’t deserve forgiveness..... Because my recent actions are unforgivable..... I’m the real terrible heartless monster.... Not you....”

Now the Brain hopelessly prepares for his doom as Julia continues to squeeze him.

That was his punishment after all.

But when all hope seems lost, the very guilty Brain sheds a repentant tear and then he let it drop onto Julia’s nose as a way of saying sorry. Julia felt the tear drop on her nose. She stared at the tear running down her nose. She felt the warmth from it. Then suddenly her nose started to glow magically.

The Brain saw Julia’s nose glowing.

What was happening?

Julia gasped. Then she looked at the Brain with tears running down his face profusely. His tear filled eyes were very honest about her safety and everyone else’s safety.

Julia stopped squeezing Brain and put him down as she became confused.

“Why are you crying?” asked Monster Julia. “How can a stoic mouse like you be capable of shedding tears? Could that warmth be from your genuine remorse and concern for me? How can that be so? How can a tyrant feel sorry for me? But I’m just as bad as you.... How can a monster like me still feel joy and sadness?...”

Julia’s eyes filled with tears.

Then Julia thought of something she hadn’t before.

“Could a tyrant and a monster really change? Am I loved after all?” asked Monster Julia.

Julia’s anger melted away like snow and she realized that the Brain really meant everything that he said. She remembered what Pinky once told her. He was right. The Brain can fix what was wrong with her if they give each other a chance. And maybe he did give up world domination a few times just for Pinky.

Then the warm glow grew and spread all over Julia’s body. It felt like a nice warm hug to Julia.

“For some reason I feel safe. This warmth is so comforting.” Julia said. “I think it’s telling me that I’m not alone and everything’s going to be okay. It’s starting to make sense now. Pinky was right about you all along! You do have some good in you! And I still have good in me! Both of us can change!”

The Brain realized that he was wrong about himself, he still has love in his heart within him despite his recently not so great intentions. He also realized that it’s okay to show compassion towards others no matter how tough he is and that sometimes feeling helpless and weak is okay as long as you have friends to help you. Maybe the Brain could slowly but surely heal from his trauma just like Julia is healing from hers. Maybe Julia didn’t have to turn back into a normal mouse after all.

Then Julia reverted back to her normal mouse size and the obedience chip slipped off her left ear and broke as it hit the ground.

Then after Brain made sure Julia was alright, they would check on the unconscious Pinky from my previous fan art.

Maybe in the reboot the obedience chip won’t fly off Julia’s ear. Maybe she’ll get a surgery to get rid of the obedience chip in her ear after Pinky was alright.

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Found Family

When your real family seems to ignore you, Chris becomes a father figure. 

-

          “Oh, and did you hear?” Your sister said over the phone. You gritted your teeth, sighing as you handed your ID to security to let you onto the stage.

           “What?” You asked dryly, looking around to see if anyone was already there. Luckily, you were one of the first people ready for the scene. You walked over to your chair and sat down, watching a camera guy start to get ready.

           “I got into Harvard. And Yale! And I think NYU is sending acceptances out next week, so I expect that too. Dad’s so proud of me, he’s taking me this weekend to see…” You rolled your eyes at your sister. She was such a goody two-shoes. It was always about her. Her academic achievements, her cheerleading achievements, her debate team, her everything. Ever since your mom who had been your best friend, died a few years ago, your father just… ignored you. He only paid attention to your sister. He took you to auditions, sure, but there was no guarantee you would ever have a ride home. Home, even. The man barely came to visit you when you were shooting, ever, unless he happened to be near the studio. Your solution was simple. Your dad hated you and blamed you for everything.

           “That’s great,” you said as you watched the director and one of the producers start walking onto the stage, along with the lead prop head.

           “Dad said he’s never been prouder of anybody in his life.” You could tell she was excited, but that was the wrong thing to say. “How’s that acting thing going?”

           “Well, I actually have a scene with Chris coming up, so…”

           “Oh, he’s hot.”

           “Yeah. I guess.”

           “You are such a loser, you can’t even agree with me on that. I have to go start pyramid, so…”

           “Fine by me.” You hung up the phone and put it under your thigh. If you weren’t wearing makeup, you probably would’ve started crying. It wasn’t a particularly harsh exchange like some of them were. It wasn’t even really harsh at all. But it meant she had more bragging rights. Dad had one more excuse not to call you and tell you all about what she was doing. It was starting to get to you that maybe your sister was right. Maybe you should be doing something other than what you’d wanted to do since you were a kid. Acting was the only thing you knew you could do well. Your sister, though? She could do anything. And you were starting to think that maybe Dad liked her more because she was better at everything.

           “Hey!” Chris said as he walked over to where you were sitting. His chair was right next to yours. “You wanna get lunch after this scene? Next scene’s going to take them a couple hours so we don’t have to rush. We can go to that ramen place you like.” You nodded.

           “Yeah, sure.” Chris cocked his head like his dog would. He could tell something was wrong, but he couldn’t tell what. You two were close. Very close. But he was more like a father or a brother than anything else. He was like the father you dearly wished you had. He was the one who would drop you back by the apartment at the end of the day. He was the one who took you to get your tonsils out when you had tonsillitis three months in a row at the beginning of shooting.

           “Something wrong?” He asked curiously. “You’re quieter than usual. We can have a few extra minutes if you wanna talk.” He sipped at his coffee. He was in a good mood. The last thing you wanted to do was bring him down. And he was right. Usually you were talking all the time, too much, even. But you were stunned into silence. You were thinking.

           “I’m fine,” you just responded.

           “For someone who’s such a great actor, you’re a terrible liar.” You sighed, getting ready to tell him that you talked to your sister again, but the red light came over the stage and it was time to work the scene. It was the scene in the movie where Chris’s character finally recognized your character as his daughter, because of course it was.

           You got it done in five takes. A record, because usually you and Chris would laugh too much or someone would break and send the other into a giggling fit. Chris knew something was wrong, though, bless him, and he did the scene. And as soon as the director called cut on the final shot they needed, you were done for the next couple of hours. You set your phone for your call time, and forgetting all about lunch, you started walking back to your trailer.

           “Hey! Kid!” Chris called halfway across the trailer-filled parking lot. You had your hand on the handle of your trailer, but you didn’t take it. You turned back to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

           “Nothing,” you lied.

           “Again. Terrible liar. Go get changed and meet back here in ten minutes.” You nodded, and after texting your assigned costume assistant that your things would be in your trailer, you changed into real-person clothes and stripped off the fake dirt on your face.

           Chris already had his car parked outside of your trailer when you emerged, and he was listening to some bad 80’s music. You couldn’t help but smile a little bit. He was such an idiot. But he understood how much you loved bad 80’s music.

           “Why are you so quiet today?” He asked as you sat down in his car and buckled your seatbelt, because God help you if you got in an accident and your dad had to come. “Come on. Tell Dr. Evans and he’ll buy you ice cream. And beat up the boy making you sad.”

           “It’s not Ashton,” you said. Ashton was a guy you’d been talking to who was shooting another movie across the lot.

           “If you say so.” Chris just drove to your favorite restaurant in the area, thankful that he had enough time to break you down. You didn’t even look at your phone, which was even weirder to him. It kept lighting up with texts from your family group chat where your dad and sister were talking about another acceptance she’d got. How many schools did this girl apply to, you thought? And why did that seem to reflect on you so badly?

           Come to think of it, why did it say anything about you in the first place? It shouldn’t. She was your sister, she was a polar opposite of you. Her college acceptances didn’t have anything to do with the lack of yours. It was you, you decided. Just you. Something was wrong with you, to the core. Why else would your father act the way he was acting? Why would he act like you were making the worst decisions of your life every time you spoke to him? Why was he so angry that he didn’t even want any of the money you offered to send to him even though he and your sister were very comfortable. Why didn’t he care one single bit when you texted him the other day that you’d gotten into a summer acting program?

           “Hey. Kid,” Chris elbowed you as you sat on the bench outside the restaurant, where he’d put your names in five minutes ago. You hadn’t said a word since you got in the car, and that was what worried him. Sometimes you were just quiet, yeah, but this was a different kind of quiet. Your eyes were blank. It was like you were in another world that he’d never seen you go into before. It occurred to you that he’d never even seen you cry before unless it was for a scene.

           “What?” You asked. He had stood up in the few seconds it took you to answer.

           “Are you high?” You shook your head. “Then what is going on with you? You’re being super quiet. You’re never quiet. You didn’t even yell at me for my bad parking job. Don’t just tell me nothing’s wrong because something’s wrong.” You followed the waiter to the table and took a seat, watching Chris as he ordered water for the both of you. He was always saying you looked dehydrated.

           “I talked to my sister earlier,” you finally said. “She keeps getting into all of these schools and doing all of these things and bragging about them.”

           “That’s what siblings do,” Chris responded. “I’m sure she’s not trying to.” You wanted to tell him that no, she was for sure trying to, but maybe you were just being paranoid. Maybe he was right and it was just a sibling rivalry thing.

           “Yeah,” you muttered. You took a sip of water and gave him a weak smile.

           “And that’s her problem if she doesn’t see how talented you are. You don’t need to go to college or be on debate teams or any of that bullshit.” The waiter came back and took your orders, but you were still thinking.

           “It’s not just her.” Chris looked up at you, blinking a few times.

           “What?”

           “It’s my dad, too,” you sighed, putting your head on your elbows. You were trying to hide the cloud of tears that was trying to fall, but you knew you weren’t doing well. “What’s wrong with me, Chris? Why am I not good enough for either of them?”

           “Honey,” Chris responded. You hated that you were crying in public about something so trivial, but you were. Chris, without hesitation, called the waiter over. “I’m sorry, can we possibly get those to go?”

           “No problem, just a minute,” the waiter said. He obviously saw you crying. Chris stood up from where he was sitting and slid into the booth beside you, gripping onto your shoulders.

           “There’s nothing wrong with you,” he assured you. “Why would you even think, for a second, that something is?” His hand started rubbing up and down your back before you could start truly blubbering. You did your best to breathe deeply. It felt good to let everything out, but you hated that it was a public place and that you were unloading everything on Chris. He didn’t deserve that.

           “It feels like there is. Neither of them care, at all. My dad doesn’t even call me anymore. All he cares about is my sister. I told him I landed that role for the movie in the fall and all he told me was that I was making a bad decision. I told him I got into that program over summer and he just said I should be going to fucking cheerleading camp like my sister. He doesn’t care, neither of them do.”

           “Yeah?” Chris started. You looked up at him. His eyes were red-rimmed like he was doing his best not to cry, too. “I had no idea, kid. I’m sorry.”

           “It’s fine, I just… I feel like something’s wrong with me. Because ever since my mom died, it’s like my sister is the only thing that matters.” The food was set in front of you in to-go boxes, but Chris wasn’t leaving just yet. He slapped his phone on the table, open to Apple Pay, and watched the waiter take it away.

           “Nothing is wrong with you,” he repeated softly, pulling your hair into a ponytail at the back of your head. “You are gorgeous. And talented. And smart. And funny. And anyone that can’t see that, even if they’re family, is blind and stupid and they’re not worth your time.”

           “It’s not like I can just cut them off,” you said.

           “No. But you can distance yourself.” He hesitated before saying something else. “Why don’t you stay with me for awhile, okay? When shooting finishes up, you can stay with me until you can find your own place back home.”

           “I can’t just de-rail your life because you feel bad for me.”

           “I don’t feel bad for you. I care about you. A lot. And if I can help you with this, I want to. Because clearly your family isn’t.” You took in a deep breath and sniffled, nodding as he rubbed your shoulders.

           “Thank you.” He smiled at your teary eyes and ruffled your hair in his hands.

           “Alright. Let’s go back to the trailer and we can start apartment hunting. I have some very specific requirements.” You rolled your eyes and sniffled again, standing up to help him carry the food back to the car.

           “Whatever you say, Dad.”

           “That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” he quipped as he took his phone from the waiter and fished his car keys out of his pocket.

A/N: I hope the person who requested this enjoys ❤️

[somedayonbroadway]

What if Race walked in on Jack getting hurt (for the papá Snyder thing)

TW: Abuse

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

This is what would happen...

Race could hear the screams from his bedroom. It wasn’t the first time. Somewhere deep in his ten year old mind he knew it wouldn’t be the last. He didn’t like the screams.

His papà always told him not to worry about it, to just ignore everything that happened in his office because none of it partained to him. Race never could.

He loved Jack. Jack was always there for him when he could be. Jack helped him through so much. Jack was sometimes more of a father to him than Snyder ever was. A lot of them. Maybe all of the time. He couldn’t stand to see the young man get pushed around and locked away like he was nothing.

Jack deserved more than that. Better than that.

Papà hadn’t been happy with Jack today. Jack had been tired. He was always grumpier when he was tired. He always talked back to Papà when he was tired. Jack had said something about it being a sad day for him. It was always the same day every year. August third. He always went somewhere in the morning, with a cup of coffee and some flowers. He was always back before papà woke up.

Today, Jack had gone back to bed and had yelled at Race’s father when he’d ordered him to get up and make breakfast.

Everything had gone downhill from there. Jack had spent the afternoon in the closet. Jack never cried. But it was always so clear to Race how badly he wanted to. He never interfered when Papà got angry. He was always too scared.

But now, he could hear Jack screaming from clear across the house. And he just couldn’t stop himself from letting his bare feet pad across the cool wood floors, all the way down the stairs towards his father’s office.

“I will add ten more if you don’t shut up and do as you’re told!”

“You’re a bastard, Snyder!” Jack cried out. Race heard something squeak as he gasped and backed up at the roughness of his caretaker’s cry. “You neva’ cared about him!”

“Oh, if only Spencer could see you now. He’d tell you how pathetic you look.”

“Don’t you dare say his name!”

Something snapped and Jack let out another small cry. “Alright then, ten more it is!”

Unable to stop himself, Race twisted the door handle wanting the scary noises to stop. He never liked it when it was loud.

They didn’t notice him at first. It was because he was stunned into silence.

Jack was on the ground, nearly bare aside from the black boxers he wore. His hands were bound in front of him with a zip tie. His face was red with hurt and anger. There were no tears on his face though it was clear he was in pain. His back was bleeding.

Looking up, Race found his father to be holding a belt above the young man, ready to bring it down on him like a whip. Jack was bracing himself for the hit.

It wasn’t until the boy let out a heartbreaking gasp that both of them looked up at him.

Jackie’s green eyes widened in horror at the sight of him. Papa lowered his hands, trying to work the scowl off of his face. “Tyler, go back to bed.” The old man always told him how he wanted to sound calm and soothing, that he never meant the words in a bad way. It was a lie and they all knew it. He always ended up sounding cold and condescending. Race tried to convince himself that it was because the man just didn’t know how. It was easier than accepting the fact that he just didn’t care enough to really try.

“Wh-what’re you doin’?” he stuttered out, looking back down at Jack who moved his hands up to cover his face. Pressing his stomach back into the floor, trying to hide.

“Go back to bed. Now,” his papa repeated, sternly this time.

Race had never understood the relationship his father had with his caretaker. He never understood why Jack worked for them. He’d thought it was normal when he was littler, figuring that every kid just grew up with someone other than their parents to care for them. It wasn’t until he saw parents picking up their kids from school that he realized he’d been wrong.

He didn’t know what this was, what was happening. But he knew this was wrong. He knew Jack didn’t deserve this. “Jackie?” he called, unsure of what to do. He wanted to help. He wanted to take care of Jack just like Jack always took care of him.

“He is fine, son. Go back to your room.”

The small child looked back up at his father, tears pricking at his eyes before he heard a shaken voice speak up from the ground. “Please go back to bed, baby…” Jack begged, quite literally on the verge of a full blown meltdown.

“I wan’ Jackie…” the boy whined. “I wan’ Jackie ta tuck me in…”

Snyder shook his head, growling a curse beneath his breath before he brought the belt down on Jack’s back one more time, making Jack cry out in shock. Race flinched and gasped at the cruelty. He stood back and watched his papa grab a pair of scissors off of his desk and throw them down onto the ground beside Jack’s head. The man jumped away from them, pushing himself up to his knees as his chest heaved in panic. “Take him to bed,” Snyder ordered.

Jack reached with trembling hands for the scissors. He tried to cut himself loose, but Race rushed in to help him after a moment, seeing how much he was clearly struggling. The minute his hands were free, Jack carefully brought the boy to his chest. The child almost went to wrap him up too, but remembered the cuts and bruises on his caretaker’s back. He tucked his hands against his chest, not wanting to hurt Jack any further. Jack pressed a kiss to his head and nuzzled his nose into the boy’s hair. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

Race didn’t know why Jack was apologizing. He just let the man cling to him, still not fully aware of what was happening.

For a long moment, the two sat there on the ground, Race waiting for Jack to calm down before the young man took a deep breath and gathered up his clothes, slipping them on, leaving his sweatshirt unzipped and up over his chest. When it looked like Jack’s shaking had calmed, Race reached cautiously for his hand.

It was rare that Race would see real fear in Jack’s eyes. Tonight was one of those nights. Jack just looked scared, like he didn’t know what to do with himself. So Race led the man back to his room and sat them both down on his bed before the boy leaned into his caretaker’s side, breathing calmly and deeply.

Jack did his best to follow suit, staring with frightened eyes into the wall.

“Jackie… why was papa doin’ that?” The boy asked quietly, not understanding at all why Jack was allowing his old man to hurt him.

The young caretaker let out a sigh, trying to blink the haunted look out of his eye. Jack just leaned down to rest his chin atop his head. “He woulda loved you, ya know…” he muttered tiredly. It occurred to the ten year old that Jack might’ve been a bit delirious. He’d read about it somewhere, when someone was so tired and hurt that they just weren’t thinking like they normally would.

“Who?”

“Spencer…” The name was almost a prayer of sorts. Jack’s voice was quiet and reminiscent. He swallowed hard, like there was a lump in his throat. “He woulda spoiled you rotten… taken you anywhere ya wan’ed ta go…” Race let the man hold him, though he hadn’t the slightest idea who Jack was talking about. “He woulda been twenty eight today…”

A lump began to form in Race’s throat as he realized whoever Jack was talking about was long gone and had been for quite some time now. Someone that Jack must’ve loved very much. “I bet I woulda loved Spencer, too…” he agreed, liking the way Jack was calming down.

“You woulda…” Jack agreed, pressing a small kiss to his hair, tenderly running a hand over his hair and taking a deep breath, as though he was trying to savor the moment. Race didn’t mind. He just closed his eyes and let it all happen. “I’m sorry ya neva’ got ta meet him… I’m sorry…” Jack spoke as though it was his fault that Spencer wasn’t here right now. It worried the child.

Race snuggled into Jack, understanding somehow that the young man didn’t want to move or leave this room. He didn’t mind.

Papa could wait. Papa could give Jack this moment.

Jack deserved this moment.

Jack deserved better than this.

He didn’t know what this was, but he knew it was wrong.

Race hid himself in his caretaker’s embrace, letting the man hold him gently as the rest of the world fell away and the child let his mind drift off to this mysterious Spencer that Jack missed so much.

If Jack had loved him, there’s no doubt in Race’s mind that he would’ve loved him too.

“I’m sorry, Jackie…” he whispered.

Jack sniffled and held him close. “I love you, baby…”

Race smiled. “I love you, Jackie… and I know that Spencer does too…”

Letting out a ghost of a sob, Jack cradled him, rocking him in his arms until they were both too tired to keep their eyes open.

Together, they let the rest of the world fade away.

Don’t worry, the scene I know ya’ll wanna see is coming soon! As well as An Angel Come To Save Me, I will be working on that one again very soon.

Let me know what ya’ll think!

[dragonrebelrose]

TROS Reaction 12-20-19. AKA my 6 page long dissertation about why I really disliked TROS.

I didn’t think it would be this bad. I truly thought there would be some gleaming moments of redeemability, but no. It’s one...giant...shit-show. What a horrible blow to the end of not only the sequel trilogy and these characters but to everything that came before. It really takes skill to mess up this badly.

A little something nice though, was the guy I sat next to. Really nice (and cute too ^-^ ) and he offered me some of his candy (Buncha Crunch! My favorite!) before the film started and then throughout the film because he said, “Well this is consolation for having to sit next to me.” Aw I couldn’t have asked for a better seat partner, I didn’t even know him! And then when the film ended he knew I didn’t take it well and I cried and shook through many moments and he offered the rest of his candy and I said, “Thanks, I think I need it.” I asked him what he thought overall and he said, “C-3P0 was pretty funny.” I said, “Yeah I agree. I actually knew everything that happened before I saw it, and I thought it was a mess.” He chuckled and said, “Me too, but I didn’t want to say anything in case you liked it.” I said, “Oh, no, I didn’t really like it. But I gotta be honest, Ben Solo didn’t deserve to die. That’s just my opinion.” I think he was surprised by that but didn’t disagree. He just kinda nodded or something and then we said goodbye and he left with his buddies, who also seemed pretty unenthused by the whole movie. Hopefully I gave him something to think about with my comment, but he was really nice and I’m glad he sat next to me.

Pessimism aside for now, I’ll start by listing the things I liked. I gotta be honest, there’s not much here.

Reylo is canon! But, in my opinion, it was handled pretty badly. Ben’s death is only the start of the problems for it, but more on that later.

C-3P0 is funny I guess. Yes he is annoying sometimes like usual, but not more so than other times.

D-O is freaking adorable. Out of everything good I’ve listed I have no qualms with this one. His manner is cute, his speaking is very funny, and his actions are just precious.

Babu Frik is very cute too, just perfect! Lovely little puppet! Don’t know why he was shoehorned in at the end battle but whatever. We never saw him again.

Maz is a puppet now? Okay, cool. Wish that would’ve been the case since the beginning. You had the technology JJ.

The music is good, when it’s given its own time to shine and be noticed. I feel like I barely noticed it was there because sound effects just drowned it out. Really wasted, but still good nonetheless.

Leia’s death and how it affected Ben. Wow. This was the first moment I truly cried. This was handled very well by Adam Driver, and then Maz saying “Goodbye, Princess.” Ouch, that got me.

Ben talking to the memory of his father! This is something I did not know was in the movie and boy am I glad I wasn’t spoiled for it! THIS is where the really hard tears and sobbing came. I was literally shaking and shivering trying to keep it in so as not to disturb everyone else. This. Part. Was. Perfect. Ben looks at him like he wants to say “I love you,” and Han says out loud “I know.” *crazy screaming and crying* Out of all the things they got wrong for Ben in this film, THIS they got right!

Ben Solo is the Solo boy we always wanted. Running in with a t-shirt, gun slinging, blasting opponents without even looking. THIS is a true son of Solo! But of course they give him no lines except “Ow.” THAT was a bad idea.

And that’s it. Yes those are the only things I even remotely liked, but I have to be honest, each one of these has some kind of problem attached to it which sours the real enjoyment.

On to what I disliked. Strap in lads, this is going to be a long ride.

1. The pacing. OH. MY. GOSH. SLOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN. For fucks sake I couldn’t even process what the hell was happening before we were on to the next thing! This was the biggest problem with the movie, BY FAR. Yes I know the story is terrible, we’ll get to that, but the pacing just completely took me out of the movie. I couldn’t feel invested in anything because it was all in one ear and out the other like ten-fold!

And this is part of the issue I have with how Reylo was handled. It. Felt. So. Rushed. And. Unfinished. There weren’t enough scenes with them and the scenes we did get were so fast and then over with that it felt like no progress was being made at all! It felt, for lack of a better word, unearned. And I know, that’s not really the case since they’ve had plenty of build-up in the last 2 films, but there wasn’t enough time with them spent NOT fighting and hating each other and opposing each other. Yes, I know, Kylo kept trying to get Rey to take his hand, but it doesn’t feel genuine because even Kylo feels out of character, and Rey too, big time. Now this isn’t the actor’s faults, they did what they could with the shitty story they were given, so I put all this blame at JJ’s desk.

In any case the overall film pacing was too fast, too much, too soon, too many things onscreen, too many things happening at once, not enough character, not enough motivation, not enough letting scenes breathe and just play out naturally. Everything felt forced for the sake of the “plot.” Oh we gotta get this thing, and then that thing, to get this thing, so we can defeat these guys! LET. US. BREATHE.

2. The story. My gosh, they couldn’t have picked a worse storyline to follow. Everything truly felt like it was written by a fanboy who wanted to retcon everything in TLJ, even down to the dialogue. Everyone keeps saying to Rey “You’re a Palpatine.” But it sounds SO strange, like nobody says things like this. I get it, it’s a space fantasy, they talk weird mumbo jumbo but it just sounds like a fanboy ghost wrote this. Like we gotta have everyone know now she’s a Palpatine! You’re a Palpatine! You’re a Palpatine! Palpatine heir! All bow down to the Palpatine! Give me a break.

3. Yeah, let’s talk about Palps. The old raisin himself. You know, I never really liked ROTS, but Palps was always a great thing about it. He was sinister, diabolical, he had a plan and knew what to do with it. But this Palps. *le heavy sigh* What a waste this was. For one thing, the lightning effects that lights up his face is really annoying, even for someone who doesn’t get seizures, I can’t even imagine what it’s like for those who do, I’m so sorry. And like, he has this whole legion of Sith followers? The fuck? Where the hell were these guys before? I’m sure they existed BEFORE the last Sith Lord died, right?

I digress. I have a question though: why does he want Rey so much? Why didn’t he try to get his son to take over? Wouldn’t that have been easier? Also, WHO DID HE FUCK TO GET A SON?? HOW DID HIS SON GET AWAY FROM HIM?? WHY DID HIS SON APPARENTLY TURN TO THE LIGHT?? THERE’S TOO MANY QUESTIONS HERE AND NO GOOD EXPLANATIONS. AND NO DISNEY, I DON’T WANT A 10-PART COMIC ON THIS. GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

The only interesting thing about Palps in this film is that his face gets melted off like a Raiders of the Lost Ark knock-off. He better not be coming back. Ever again.

4. And hey, while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about Rey’s parents. So apparently they’re both good people. *le sigh* But what kind of good people leave their daughter alone on a harsh and unforgiving planet with a blubber guy? And don’t tell me they didn’t know he was an abusive asshole, they LIVED on Jakku, they HAD to have known him, ESPECIALLY if they truly were junk traders, they would have DEALT with him. Oh, and apparently the “I’ll come back for you sweetheart, I promise” line is changed up a bit and given to her father after all. No. Screw that. That line was meant for Ben, I don’t care how petty this sounds, this is terrible. So yeah, fuck Rey’s parents, I don’t care how “good” you try to make their intentions, they’re badly shoehorned in and they screw up anyway. Next.

5. Ben’s story and his fate. So yeah, obviously I hate that Ben died, but more than that I hate how his story was handled here. It was so rushed, it didn’t feel as natural as it should have. It needed time to BREATHE. A lot of time! And I feel like they really shafted Kylo/Ben’s story off to the side to give more time to the hereby named GoldenTrio. (You know who I mean...we’ll get to them.) It really seemed like JJ didn’t even care about Ben’s fate anymore, and just kind of put it in as an afterthought. His death scene? Not even given a fucking minute to process because WE GOT TO PARTAY. All in all, his whole story is so terribly sad that I don’t even know if I can watch TFA or TLJ anymore, knowing how it ends.

6. The GoldenTrio. Oh for fucks sake, JJ, you should have killed Poe off when you had the chance, because now the story is all about THEM. Boom! They’re literally front and center in the movie. I don’t even think Reylo gets as much screen time as them. I mean really, Ben’s death scene and Rey’s grieving gets 1.5 minutes, tops. GoldenTrio reunion and threesome hugging? 5 fucking minutes of nothing but them hugging. I’m not even exaggerating. (Okay maybe I am, but it’s given more focus and time to “breathe” than Ben Solo’s fucking death. I’m getting a headache remembering it.)

Hey, remember in ESB and ROTJ where the trio got split up and had their own story lines and own purposes to fulfill without each other hanging around (apart from Han and Leia because their story lines are interconnected)? Yeah, I miss that too.

Also, Rey keeps wandering off being “pulled” to something, and every...single...time, Finn is like “Rey, wait! Poe we gotta get her! rEy CoMe BaCk!!” This happens at least 5 times, pretty consecutively too. It gets old real fast. Boy do I miss the days of TLJ where people got to be away from each other to discover new things without interference.

Which leads me to another point: They tried to shove FinnRey in here while shitting on FinnRose quite literally. What. A. Slap. To. The. Face. This is horrible treatment, and I hope Kelly will never do another interview for Lucasfilm again. She doesn’t deserve this.

7. The Ending™. Wow. What a way to show that your characters haven’t progressed at all by showing them in the same environment that they started in. Let’s do an overview: Rey starts out alone on a desert planet and meets a droid that isn’t hers. Rey ends up alone on a desert planet with a droid that still isn’t hers. PROGRESSION 101!! *slaps forehead* I mean, don’t even get me started on the fact that Ben isn’t there with her and that literally one half of her soul is gone (how is she not in agony right now??), but then to add more salt to the wound she’s just like “oh yeah I must be the rightful successor to the Skywalker name, even tho I’m a Palps...makes sense to me!” Fuck off. You don’t deserve that title after hating Luke for not doing what you wanted him to do and for hating Ben for most of this movie too.

Can we also acknowledge that this is THE ABSOLUTE WORST POSSIBLE WAY TO END A 40 YEAR SAGA AND FAMILY LEGACY? So, Palps had a kid who had a kid. This kid is then deemed a-okay by the family that was affected most by Palps and they welcome her like the sunshine child she is, yet shun their own offspring for being damaged goods because he was being manipulated by said Palps. Okay, it’s official now, everyone’s an asshole...except Ben. He seemed to be the only one to understand his faults and right his wrongs and not be an idiot. Then the kid who was abused and manipulated is killed because “reasons” or “problematic” or whatever and the offspring of Palps lives while the family that Palps manipulated is ultimately gone forever because it’s last descendant wanted to save the offspring of Palps out of the goodness of his heart. Now the offspring of Palps doesn’t even give a flipping thank you and steals their name. wHaT a SaTiSfYiNg EnDiNg!!! Someone gag me.

8. Luke’s X-Wing being raised out of the water and it’s in perfect working condition. What. The. Fuck. I don’t know if you guys realize this, but this completely undermines Luke’s arc in TLJ. That X-Wing was sunk and dead to show that he had no desire to return to the outside world. He was staying on the island. For good. And he buried that thing in water to make sure he couldn’t use it ever again, but it was still visible to him to remind him of his conviction if ever he questioned it. But no. That thing is a-okay and ready to fly. No need for parts, there’s no rust or any sea salt corrosion, ready to go skipper! This was just added for easy call-backs to ESB but boy this had absolutely 0 weight to it. I literally yawned or looked at my watch around this part thinking “oh my gosh isn’t it over yet?” Pretty much sums up my entire experience.

9. Rose got shafted to appease the fanboys. This one needs no further explanation or analysis, it just sucks and has no real reason to exist.

10. Luke was barely in it and offered not that great advice. Poor Mark. His performance really peaked with TLJ and never went back up.

11. Rey is suddenly the Avatar now? You can now talk to all previous Jedi’s who existed? What buffoonery is this? Oh, but Ben doesn’t get a single. fucking. word. from Anakin, the man he looked up to. I’m so tired right now. What’s left?

12. The message changed from “it doesn’t matter if you’re a nobody, you’re a somebody to me” to “you’re a somebody with a bad bloodline, but that doesn’t define you (except when it totally does)”. That sort of message would be fine if it had been the message since TFA, but it wasn’t. The message since TFA was “I’m a nobody, but I can become a somebody regardless of my lineage or my childhood.” Why change the message in the 11th hour? To appease fanboys. Literally anything that makes no sense in this movie can be attributed to fanboys. There’s so much contradiction and hypocrisy in this film from both the narrative and the characters that it’s insulting.

13. Hux was utterly shafted too. What a waste of a well built up and conniving little bastard who in the end gets shot for shock value and laughs. It’s like what TLJ did but way worse because he’s actually killed. Hux as the spy? Just no.

14. Jannah was kind of wasted too, not enough screen time. I get her and Finn kind of bonding over being ex-stormtroopers, but it’s not really delved into. Also the whole “nature vs. machinery” thing kinda briefly shows up at the big battle and feels unearned too, because there was nothing before in this movie or others to suggest there was a war between the two.

15. Poe is treated more as the heir to Leia than Ben is. Poe gets to fly the falcon and gets to wreck it up (dishonoring who it belonged to before), gets to be by Leia’s deathbed, etc. Not earned at all.

16. The pointlessness of random cameos or thrown in references. Not a single person in my theater noticed John Williams as the bartender, nobody pointed out or said anything about any reference from previous movies, it was silent.

17. What the hell was even the point of the whole “Dark Rey” vision? Oh, she shows her scary pointy teeth ala Bilbo style. No thank you.

18. Why the hell does it feel like these characters aren’t the characters from TFA and TLJ? They feel so different and it’s noticeable.

19. Finn is Force sensitive. Literally tacked on like nobody wouldn’t notice. We noticed JJ. We notice everything.

20. Rey and Kylo/Ben fighting for way too much of the film and their interactions. Not enough caring or understanding, not enough longing looks, it feels like their romance was almost cut from the film entirely.

21. Oh yeah, Rey floating at the beginning? Looked stupid as hell. And the “Be with me” line? I thought maybe, just maybe, she meant Ben, but no. She’s trying to reach “her past selves” like the fucking Avatar and she’s even floating rocks around like Aang did. Ugh.

22. Anything else? Oh yeah, this movie sucks completely and wholly...FOR NOT GIVING ONE FUCKING LINE OF DIALOGUE TO BEN SOLO AFTER HE HAD BEEN REDEEMED. HOW HEARTLESS CAN YOU BE THAT YOU LET HIM DIE WITHOUT SAYING ONE FINAL THING?!?! DAMN J.J. YOU’RE STUPID.

And that’s it. Kudos if you read the whole thing. I ramble a lot.