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greenorangevioletgrass · 10 months ago

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fever pitch (b.b.) - part two

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soundtrack: lavender haze - taylor swift pairing: footballer!bradley x popstar!reader synopsis: you and Bradley go on a date. they say the wrong things --or right things-- and surprise each other as they get to know each other better. warnings: language, so much unresolved tension, mentions of character deaths, fluffy heartfelt stuff, but also like sexy stuff 👀 notes: i had so much fun writing this! special shoutout to @gretagerwigsmuse who had to deal with my annoying thots at all hours. comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated as always. happy reading! <3

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Subject: Guest Attendance Confirmation From: [email protected]

Dear Madam,

Thank you for confirming your information regarding your upcoming visit to Annabel’s.

It is our pleasure to host you for your dinner reservation on the 23rd of March, 2023, as a guest of our member Mr. Bradley Bradshaw. We hope that you have a wonderful experience dining and entertaining at the Club with us.

In order to ensure your positive and memorable experience with us, we kindly ask all members and guests to be aware of a few key rules of the Club:

DRESS CODE. We encourage individuality and style in your smart attire. After 6PM, gentlemen are required to wear jackets. Read the full dress code guidelines here.

PHONE & PHOTOGRAPHY. As a Private Members’ Club, we kindly ask Members and Guests to refrain from taking photographs within the Club’s premises. Posting content to your social media from your visit to the Club is not permitted. Phones must be kept on silent at all times and are only permitted for use in limited areas of the Club.

For guidance, read the Rules & Bylaws of the Club here.

If you require further information or assistance, please do not hesitate to reach out through this email address or by phone at +44 20 7946 0011.

Thank you and see you soon.

Best wishes, Maude Adams Floor Manager.

***

You’re not sure why you’re bracing for something to go wrong.

The restaurant is rife with opulence, with rich chartreuse and bronze walls and Japanese-style paintings over classic British architecture. Bradley booked a little corner booth just off the fireplace, the privacy still granting a nice view of the grandiose bar across the room. He pulled up your chair and told you that you look beautiful—a good three or four times, and it feels just as genuine as the first. With your show and his training the next day, you both had to pass on the booze and settle with some green tea to go with your food. Conversation flows effortlessly, exploring easy topics like your shared love of old movies, the Venn diagram of your music tastes, the novelty of the sport that he plays…

“Okay, but how did you get into soccer—I mean, football?” You smile sheepishly as you correct yourself. “Sorry. Wouldn’t wanna get maimed to death by the locals.”

He laughs. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me.” And then he takes a deep breath as his finger toys with the condensation on the side of his glass. “It’s… uh, my dad, actually. He bought me a soccer ball for Christmas when I was like 2 and… it’s most of the memories I had with him, playing kickabout in the backyard.”

“Oh?”

He smiles—diplomatically, all things considered. “He died when I was 4.”

Your face falls. Fuck. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry…”

“Nah, don’t be. It was a long time ago. And I feel like he’s with me every time I step on the pitch.” Bradley nods, ever so reassuring. He’s had enough ‘I’m sorry’s’ for every time his dad comes up in conversation, and he doesn’t want you to feel obliged to do the same.

“But hey, I think it’s wonderful… that he’s right there in spirit with you every game.” You smile back, trying to save this slip-up in conversation. “And I bet your mom’s really proud of you, right?”

To his own surprise, he chuckles. It really is true that tragedy plus time equals comedy. “I mean, I like to think so.” He notices your questioning look, and realizes he needs to let you in on the joke too. “My mom died when I was 17. Cancer. I moved out here and lived with my godfather. Got scouted for Arsenal.”

And there it is.

You’ve been so worried about all the external factors going wrong, that you didn’t consider that the faulty one might be you.

The clinks of plates and cutleries suddenly become so loud. The subtle piano playing over the speakers sound garbled, like you’re underwater. And the salmon sashimi in your mouth tastes like lead now. How the fuck does lightning manage to strike twice?!

“I’m sorry, I…” and now you can’t even muster up a proper apology, because what do you even say?! The only thing that comes out of your mouth is a lame excuse, “I… thought it was a good idea not to Google you.”

His heart catches at the sight of you, all wide-eyed and dumbstruck. You wouldn’t believe it if he told you, but he thinks he might have just fallen in love with you there. Foot in mouth and all.

But you… you think you must’ve looked so stupid right now. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed—”

“No, no, no. It’s alright!” Bradley quickly interjects, that twinkle of amusement in his eyes still lingers. “I appreciate it, actually. I’ll take awkward moments with you over anything else you can Google about me.”

“Really?”

He nods. “Of course. I mean… it’s not like you killed them, did you?”

There’s a split second of silence, when you meet his playful gaze, and his mouth pulls into a grin over your petrified look, and then… the tension simply melts away in a sigh of tentative laughs. The garbled underwater music has come up to the surface, the dining noises dissipates, and everything turns back to normal… ish.

“Anyway, what about yourself? How did you get into… all of this?”

“Oh, it’s all I’ve ever known, really. Pretty sure I sang before I knew how to talk. I was always pestering my mom about ballet and piano lessons and living room concerts… I was that kid, you know?”

The image makes him smile, and it sends butterflies to your stomach. “Your mom must’ve been thrilled.”

“Eh.” You shrug flippantly, and that non-answer is enough of an answer for Bradley. “But she knew I was stubborn as hell, and she’s better off letting me tire myself out than trying to stop me, so…”

“But you didn’t.”

You shake your head. “By 5, I was on Broadway—”

His jaw falls open, and he looks at you like grew a new head. “I’m sorry. Five years old?”

You raise your hand in defense, not wanting to oversell yourself. “To be fair, though, it was mostly luck. My mom was working in the theater company and they needed a kid, so I volunteered to stand in—I mean, naturally,” you roll your eyes at yourself, “And they liked me. So they put me on. But I didn’t have to do anything but pretend to be asleep while the adult cast carried me around.”

“Still. That’s more than most people can say. You continued doing it afterwards, right?”

“Mm-hm. Stage, commercials, TV, the occasional movies… anything I could get my hands on.”

Bradley studies you with this look of awe—not an unusual reaction, he’s sure; it’s a pretty impressive feat. But he also catches a lost sense of melancholy in the way you say it, and he can’t help but ask, “Did you have a childhood at all?”

And your heart catches. That’s something nobody ever asked you before… “What do you mean?”

He pauses, realizing he may have inadvertently touched on a sensitive subject with this line of questioning. So he tries again more carefully. “I just meant… you’ve been working most of your life. Did you ever just get to be a kid?”

“I…” you trail off, considering your answer. You want to say yes, of course you did, but the little sting in your throat makes you question yourself: did you?

And with the soft look in his eyes, you know he knows the real answer to that. Both of you do.

It’s alarming how disarming he can be, and you would hate it… except you don’t. At least not enough to make you run off. “I guess, being in that kind of environment, I didn’t really know how to be a kid…? If that makes any sense.”

Bradley nods, understanding. He’s not entirely sure how to respond, but he wants to be empathetic.

“I went to school and made friends for a while, but…” Normally this would be an uphill point in your story, but tonight… this part is tinged with distant sorrow. “I got a record deal when I was 15, and suddenly I was living in LA and working in the studio or going on tours and… I just wasn’t a kid anymore.”

It breaks his heart, the thought of a childhood lost on you like that. “Wow. You really have lived a life, haven’t you?” He can’t resist but reaches out for your hand.

The touch makes your heart catch, and it feels overwhelming. It feels like you’re gonna burst, so you chicken out with a lame joke. “Haven’t slept in 22 years.”

Bradley can’t help but smile at that, squeezing your hand three times in comfort. And just like that, the bubble bursts and the world continues on its axis once again. He finishes his last slice of tuna tataki and washes it down with his konacha.

“You know, for how much you’ve done since you started out, I thought you’d be more… Hollywood.”

You raise an eyebrow in amusement. “Hollywood?”

“Okay, that came out wrong,” he admits bashfully. “I just… you’re very down-to-earth. And real. I guess I expected more, like, an attitude?”

“Oh? I can have an attitude…” you smirk coyly over your tea, “...if you can handle it.”

Fuck. You’re gonna be the death of him. It’s insane how easily you switch from being sweet and vulnerable, to flirty and borderline devilish. But he wasn’t born yesterday, and he knows he’s well-equipped to handle this back-and-forth.

“I think you’d be surprised by what I can handle.”

Oh, here comes the fun part. “Is that right?”

He nods, leaning into you a little bit from across the table. “I think you’d find a lot about me surprising.”

If the whiff of his Tom Ford Black Orchid catches you off-guard, you don’t show it. Instead, you mirror his body language, propping your chin on your knuckles for good measure. “Like what?”

God, he really wants to kiss you… but it’s way too soon, and he doesn’t know how you feel about public displays of affection. “Like… I’m a pretty decent cook. And I like reading.”

“An athlete who can read? My, my…” you smirk teasingly.

Bradley laughs. He walked right into that one. But he’s not ready to admit defeat yet. Instead, he makes use of that bedroom voice girls like so much to push the point further. “That’s right. I know how to use the washing machine, too.”

You bite your lower lip and sigh, shuddering a little from his low rasp but definitely playing up the dramatics. “You do? Mmh…”

Jesus. If that’s you faking it, he can’t wait to make you all wet and needy for real. “And you wanna know the best part?”

You meet his gaze, and for a moment, the lustful tension is real. “Yeah?”

He leans in just a little closer, head tilting as if he’s moving in for a kiss. Maybe if he throws it out there… “I can put together Ikea furniture.”

You throw your head back and feigns a quiet but dramatic moan for your one-man audience. “Oh my gosh, I think I just came in my pants a little.”

Fuck. He really wants to make you come now. With his fingers, his tongue, his cock—

Your gaze drops to his mouth, the stupid 80’s pornstache you’ve never been into before this, the soft inviting lips underneath. The ball is in your court now, and you know he would kiss you earnestly if you close the distance…

But you burst out laughing instead. Bradley releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, although your bright laughter doesn’t deter him from thinking dirty thoughts about you. If anything, it just makes you ten times hotter in his eyes.

“Well played. That was a good one,” Bradley concedes, his face turning just a little bit pink.

“We should probably stop before the staff kicks us out for having too much fun,” you lean back into your seat, looking around the restaurant, making sure no one is listening. Squeezing his hand three times as the next course arrives… not entirely putting the kiss off of the table either.

Bradley recommends the vanilla mille crepe to close the meal, and you come up with the idea of sharing a slice. The dessert arrives, a lush little golden brown thing with thin layers of cream in between, so simple and so intricate at the same time. He lets you take the first bite—insists upon it, actually. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.

That, and he wants to watch your face twist in pleasure again. Eyes fluttering closed, chest falling in a sigh, lips parted ever so slightly... God, he can’t wait to be the one responsible for it.

“Amazing, right?” He beams at you, very pleased with himself.

“Mm, it truly is,” you hum in agreement, watching him take a bite. It gives you a naughty idea… “It’s so amazing, I might just hijack this whole thing.” You jokingly pull the plate a little closer to you.

Bradley playfully holds the plate back, looking faux offended. “Hey! Come on. You know I’m a little bit stronger than you, right?”

“Please. That’s never stopped me before.”

“Really?”

“I have my ways…” your finger reaches out just enough to touch his, just slightly.

Between that and your eyes darkening in mischief, Bradley fights hard not to turn into goo under your slightest touch. He bites the inside of his cheek to contain himself. “You’re really making me earn this, aren’t you?”

“Why? Girls never gave you a hard time before, Mr. Big Time Football Man?”

He laughs. “No. But you’re probably the only one giving me this hard a time for a bite of dessert.”

“Is that all we’re playing for? A bite of dessert?” you smirk, egging him on.

“What else do you think we’re playing for here?” He takes a second bite, maintaining eye contact as he does so.

You take another bite and lick the cream off of your fork. “I don’t know. A bite of… something else?”

Ah. So we are interested. Bradley is unfazed as he gently warns you, “Careful. I might take you up on that.”

“Good. I was hoping you would.”

The tension rises as reality sinks in. You both want to fuck, and looking at the trajectory of the evening, there’s a good chance you will. And it sobers you the hell up, pulling you both straighter in your seats. Sharing the slice of cake in quiet civility. Keeping a completely respectable distance, as if worried you don’t trust yourself not to climb over the table and kiss him senseless.

But the game… oh, the game is on.

“I don’t know about you, but… I was thinking maybe a few bites, though.”

“Oh?”

“Oh, yeah. I intend to explore every part of this… dessert.”

You stop chewing for a moment. There’s something so hot about how he says it so casually. “That’s… very optimistic of you.”

“Not optimistic enough to decide if kissing you out here was a good idea,” he admits sheepishly.

“Why is that?”

Bradley shrugs. “Just a hunch.”

He’s right, of course. He didn’t choose an ultra-exclusive, members-only establishment with a no-phone policy just for kicks. He sees the security detail that follows you around, lurking at a safe distance—from back at the club. And tonight, you’re traveling light with just two bodyguards, each strategically posted near you and the exit, but it’s still more than he’s ever encountered. There’s no way you would risk a first kiss in public, no matter how discreet the place is. No matter how much you like him.

And you like him a whole lot.

“Tell you what…” you put the fork down as quietly as you can. This is the moment of truth. “I’ll let you kiss me all you want back at my hotel, hm?”

Bradley’s eyes light up instantly. He takes a moment, not so much to consider his options, but to process what’s about to happen. “I would like that very much, yes.”

“Alright, then. Shall we?” you smile brightly, flagging the waiter for the check.

“Uh, yeah. Totally. We shall,” he stammers a little, recovering fast enough to snatch the check and slips his credit card in the tab. Barely addressing the waiter as they walk back to the till.

It all happens so fast, and you whine in complaint. “Oh, come on!”

“What, was I supposed to let you pay or something?”

“You were supposed to let me pretend to fight for it, at least…” you huff.

He smiles in amusement. You are so adorable, it makes his heart fucking swell. “Okay. Next time I’ll let you pretend. I’ll even give you a little pushback for good measure, how about that?”

“Perfect.”

“Now, let’s go back to your hotel and… I don’t know, pretend you have to try really hard to resist my charms.”

“Yeah, okay.” You chuckle in agreement. This is really happening. Wow. And just as the excitement sets in, another point of concern pops up in your head, like a really annoying notification. “Did you drive here or…?”

He nods. “You wanna take my car?”

“No, I got a car waiting for me…” you smile apologetically, glancing at her bodyguard. There’s no way they’re gonna let you jump into some guy’s car. “And there’s gonna be paps out front…” Here comes the tricky part. “Would you… mind if we… go separately and meet up at my hotel?”

Oh. Bradley’s face falls a little upon realizing that he can’t just walk out the door with you. He sees how this works. You don’t want the media to jump on this first date, and it’s actually a smart move. Besides, what’s a few more minutes to a whole night of complete privacy? “Sure, no problem.”

You nod tentatively. Well, that was surprisingly easy… “And just to be clear, this has nothing to do with you. It’s just… this whole thing can be a circus, and I don’t want you to deal with anything you didn’t sign up for.”

He smiles at you. Bless you for being so thoughtful, but it does make him wonder if other people have had trouble with it. But maybe that’s a question for another time. “Hey, I totally understand. We’ll just meet up at the hotel and leave it at that.”

“I’ll text you, okay?”

You squeeze his hand gently before you get up, making your way out of the restaurant. Powering through the camera flashes as soon as you walk out of the front door. Giddy because you know something these vultures don’t.

Meanwhile, Bradley sits. Waits. For one minute, and two, and three. Looking at people walking in and out, wondering how inconspicuous he would be if he walks out now.

And then…

His phone buzzes.

#stick around for some more fun stuff 👀#bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw x reader #footballer!bradley #footballer!bradley x popstar!reader #top gun imagine #top gun au #ava writes #fever pitch

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sukunasweetheart · 1 year ago

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can i just say i love your fics SMMMM my serotonin boost fr!!! what do we think abt him with an s/o who has a lot of admirers 👁

THANK YOUU here is a treat 4 u <3

sorry i ended up doing too much and also going off-topic a bit oops

it ended up becoming modern au!sukuna 😭 forgive me (gender neutral reader)

sukuna is so used to being the one overshadowing the others - he's used to being the one admired, revered, respected, for his power and intelligence. it's safe to say he'd also be used to seeing people fight each other just for a lick of his attention - desiring for even just a glance from his way. so it's a given that he's not used to feelings of possessiveness or jealousy.

but now that he has you, someone who always has others admiring you from both closeby and afar, he's beginning to understand those petty sensations and thoughts. he's obviously never one to be insecure about your popularity, on most occasions, he even likes to make a show of it - he enjoys seeing them gnashing their teeth with envy as he flaunts his relationship with you in front of their faces - "see this? all mine," he seems to say, as he openly kisses you in public.

but when it catches him on a bad day, perhaps following a bad argument, he sees you with someone who is obviously interested in being more than just a friend to you (which you're not aware of, frustratingly so), and he starts feeling sick to his stomach. with everyone else who came before you, sukuna would simply tell them "don't like it? then leave," whenever they voiced complaints to him about their relationship... but now it's the opposite of what he wants. just the thought of you being with someone that isn't him gets his heart dropping to the ground, making him feel restless.

he knows he isn't the best at being soft. nor at using the kindest words when he gets heated. he'll always be more selfish than selfless, and he's not the most emotionally intelligent. it's unlike him to use words like 'i'm sorry' or 'i love you' so he's uneasy for the moment where you might find someone who'll be everything that he isn't amongst your sea of admirers, and that you'll leave him and never look back.

it's simply so humiliating, feeling this way... he's not sure what to do about it. you seem to be seriously upset this time around, and he knows brushing past it or glossing over it using his usual charm (which is a bad habit that he has) isn't going to work. you're not acknowledging him or responding to his texts properly or saying good morning or goodnight and it's driving him insane because he misses it... you're not looking at him. he's the one gazing at you, longingly.

sukuna will pin you down eventually, somewhere, somehow, and trap you so that you're not able to avoid him any longer. he'll drag you away from your stupid little crowd of spectators and talk to you in private, where'll spend ten minutes trying to apologise in a strange, roundabout and aggressive way because he knows it's his own damn fault. you know him, so you're able to recognise that he's trying to say sorry. your gaze is still elsewhere, looking off to the side instead of him. and that bothers him immensely.

"why won't you look at me?" god, he sounds so sad and pathetic.

truth is, sukuna now simply withers out and dies a little without your attention. what can he do to have that spotlight upon him once again? why are your eyes on anybody, anything, that isn't him? pay attention to me, and me only.

when you finally spare him a glance, he feels like breathing again. and he'll fight tooth and nail to keep that gaze of yours on him. fuck your insignificant and measly admirers. he's all you need, and sukuna's going to make sure of it. (he'll compromise for you, if he has to.)

he's definitely overstimming you in bed that night, in order to catch up on all the lost pride and attention that you'd deprived him of.

tagging; @gojos-thot-patrol <3 hope its to your liking.. even tho its not as angsty as i originally intended it to be haha

Masterlist

#he's basically like a cat meowing at you for attention #sukuna x reader #sukuna #jjk x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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dgalerab · 2 years ago

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rott//mnt making donnie my favorite turtle again when i still haven't gotten over watching space invaders pt3 as a 12 yo is fucked up

#if you know you know #ain watches rott//mnt #sorry this is private thots for my followers only

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galacticgraffiti · 3 years ago

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❁⋅⋆I am Boba Fett⋆⋅❁

NEW TRAILER DROP NEW GALA THOT

Y'all my brain literally exploded. "I am Boba Fett." SIR- I KNOW BUT YES PLEASE REMIND ME AGAIN. I fucking- hngggg This is not proof-read, I literally wrote this on my break at work but OOF.

Warnings: Fucking a stranger, little to no buildup, barkeeper!reader, cocky Boba, fingering, dirty talk

!!! NSFW/18+ !!!

⋅⋆ ══════ ⋅⋆⋅ ✥ ⋅⋆⋅ ══════ ⋆⋅

You are standing behind the counter, mindlessly polishing a glass for the fifth time today even though you know exactly it will be dirty again one second after you put it down. Fucking sand. Gets everywhere. But you know it makes the customers nervous if you just stand around, so you sigh deeply and take the next glass from the shelf.

The cantina is half empty, it's still too early in the afternoon for people to come and have a drink to celebrate the weekend. Not much to do, but you don't mind. Less customers means less chances of some sleazy mudscuffer walking in here. Most of the patrons are regulars - you know their drinks, you know the kind of banter they enjoy. It's easy going.

The doors slide open and someone steps in. You barely look up from your task, focused on a particularly persistent stain on the glass; but suddenly all chatter ceases. You raise your head only for your eyes to be met by a dark visor right in front of your bar. There is something dangerous about this man - it's not just the armour, not just the helmet or the fact that he is basically carrying an entire arsenal strapped to his body. It's... something in his aura. Something powerful, overwhelmingly so. It is intoxicating, even though he hasn't uttered a single word, even though you can't see his face.

You realise you are staring at him, mouth slightly agape and you shake your head to regain your bearings.

"G'day Sir, how may I help you?" The title just slips out, you are not usually so formal with your patrons, but something about him makes you want to ackonwledge the respect his presence commands in you.

He leans forward slightly as if to tell you a secret and you find yourself swaying in his direction, trying to catch a whiff of the danger that seems to be radiating from him, from the tainted armour - the adventure and peril that seems to be dripping from his fingertips.

"Do you have somewhere more private?" Even though his voice is quiet, the authoritative tone makes you stand up straighter, a shiver running through you. Maker, his voice is beautiful, rough and coarse like freshly ground caf, sweet and deep like sin. You swallow thickly. His visor tilts up and down, and you swear you can feel his eyes on your body, lingering on you when you lean forward again to answer just as quietly as he asked.

"I'm sorry, we just have the one room," you apologise, sudden fear striking through you - fear that he might leave. You want him to stay, you want a chance to... "Well... we do have a small courtyard. You could sit there if you want to be alone."

His helmet inclines and you interpret that as agreement.

"I'll show you," you mumble. It's not strictly necessary, there is just one door in the back, you can't miss it, but... you want to be alone with him.

"Lead the way, princess," he rasps and your core seizes, arousal dripping from your cunt like warm honey. You can feel yourself soaking your underwear - Maker, it's embarrassing, he has said, what, five words? None of them particularly interesting or ambiguous but somehow he already has you ready to get on your knees and worship him. Who the fuck is this guy?

You press your legs together and bite your lip to avoid a wanton sigh, setting the glass down to show the armoured man out to the courtyard in the back. He follows you so close you are sure you could feel his breath on your neck if he took off his helmet, and when you stop to unlock the door, his hand comes to rest on the small of your back. You could shake him off - Stars know you have turned a lot of customers down - but you don't want to. Instead you want his hand to slide lower, you want him everywhere. It feels like he knows exactly what you want, but he is holding back until you say the word.

The door slides open and you point to the chair on the little veranda.

"There you go, Sir."

"You call all your customers that?" He sounds amused and you blush; he reads you like an open fucking book.

"Only the ones I don't know by name," you half-lie and his deep chuckle makes you burn. He sits, leaned back with his legs spread wide and takes off his helmet.

"I am Boba Fett."

You stare, a million things rushing through your head - you know that name, every child on Tatooine knows that fucking name - and everyone knows he is dead. So that's what you tell him.

"Boba Fett is dead."

You can't stop staring at him, he is old, older than you thought he would be from his broad, muscular frame, but Gods he is beautiful. The scar across his face only makes him more interesting, and his eyes are stern but warm. His hand shoots out to wrap around your wrist.

"You wanna feel how alive I am, princess?"

"Yes Sir." The answer is out before your brain has processed what is going on - his hand pulls at you and suddenly you are in his lap, his fingers digging into your arm and the flesh of your thighs as he whispers into your ear.

"Still calling me Sir, sweetheart? I thought I told you my name."

You twist around to study his face, the lines, the features that seem so familiar somehow, like someone you saw in a picture a long time ago, one of the photographs from the War - a soldier, one of millions who shared the same face.

"You can't be," you repeat. "Boba Fett is dead. He died in the Sarlacc Pit years ago."

He huffs, his fingers sneaking around your waist, slipping underneath the waistband of your skirt and you gasp when rough fingertips slide down, down, down until they meet the wet heat of your pulsing cunt and the man - Boba? - groans.

"And yet here I am, fingers already in your sweet cunt even if you don't believe who I am. I'll make you scream my name until you believe I'm back from the dead, princess, I'll make you scream it so loud all of Tatooine will know I'm here to take what's mine."

The confidence in his voice is so infinite, so overwhelming that you don't even care anymore if he is lying. Boba's lips move against your neck, he pulls at your thighs until you spread your legs wider and hook them over his so he can hold you open.

"Tell me, pretty girl, are you this easy for everyone? I won't hold it against you."

"N-no," you gasp. Boba's fingers start circling your aching clit and you lose all thoughts for a moment before his teeth graze your neck and bring you back to reality.

"No?" he asks, dark amusement in his voice. "So you're easy just for me? I saw what you were thinking. I knew the second you offered to show me back here what you wanted me to do. I could tell how your breath hitched when I touched you at the door, I could tell how your heart rate sped up. Do you still want this?"

"Yes," you gasp and Boba's other hand slides up to cup your tits before he closes his fingers around your jaw in a bruising grip to twist your head toward him until his lips are only inches from yours.

"Are you sure? Whose fingers do you want inside you, princess?"

"Yours," you whimper and he tuts.

"Tell me a name, pretty girl. Whose fingers?"

"Boba Fett's," you moan and two thick fingers slip inside your dripping cunt, languidly pumping in and out of you while you lean back and rock your hips to meet his movements.

"Good answer," he praises and you shiver at the pride in his voice. You can feel his cock growing hard against your ass as you continue grinding your hips down while Boba fucks you with his fingers.

"You gonna let me fuck you before you take care of the other customers? Gonna let me fill you up until you can feel my cum leaking out of you while you serve them their spotchka with a smile?"

"Fuck," you mumble. The mouth on that man- nothing could have prepared you. "Fuck- yes, Boba, yes. Want your cock, please."

"Look at you, already begging," he smirks against your neck. His thumb rubs against your clit and you arch into the touch, chasing the sensation of his thick fingers inside you and the delicious friction. "If you come for me, I'll fuck you right here and now. You're already so fucking wet I could probably fuck you without making you come first- osik, I could've probably fucked you the second I put my hands on you way back there from the way you reacted. But I want you to know that I am a generous man. So come for me, princess, let me feel how tight your little cunt gets, let me hear you scream my name first, and then you get my cock."

You moan, your head swimming at the sensations you are being bombarded with - Boba's legs keeping your own wide open, his fingers inside you, his thumb against your clit, his hand on your tits and his lips on your neck - he is everywhere, everything and he demands that you feel him with such intensity that you can't hold back.

"Boba!" you cry out, "Boba, please, I'm so close, please can I come?"

He bites down on your shoulder, not enough to break the skin but enough you know his teeth will mark you. His thumb draws tight little circle around your clit while his fingers stretch you open and it's so much, so goddamn much.

"Good girl, good fucking girl... asking for my permission, screaming my name- Maker, you're perfect like this, knew it from the moment I walked in there that I'd have you just like that, fuck you open with my fingers and bend you over until you're fucking ruined- pretty girl with my cum staining her thighs. Gods, can't wait to split you open on my cock, princess..."

Everything stops and the world melts away, white-hot bliss washing over you with a force you could never have prepared for. Everything fades, it's just you and Boba, you and Boba's fingers, his mouth, his strong thighs underneath you and nothing else. The world is him and he becomes the world while you come around his fingers, your legs shaking and your cunt clenching while you scream until your voice is rough with it. Boba keeps talking through your orgasm, sweet praises and sinful filth breathed into your ear while his fingers shallowly fuck into you and prolong your pleasure.

It takes you a long time to manage a coherent thought again and when Boba pulls his fingers out of you and sticks them into his mouth to lick them clean, you almost come again.

"Hmm, calling you sweet girl was right," he hums. "Get up if you can manage, princess. I'll ruin you and let you lick my cock clean like a good girl. I'll leave you so goddamn ruined for anyone else that Boba Fett is the only name you'll ever be thinking about again."

⋅⋆ ══════ ⋅⋆⋅ ✥ ⋅⋆⋅ ══════ ⋆⋅

COME GET Y'ALL JUICE @ethenae @adancedivasmom @kakashibabe02 @kik51199 @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @asaucecoveredsomething @book-of-baba-fett @mando-amando @gotomarvelgal @muffledgorillaviolence @elegantduckturtle @samanthacookieone @imalovernotahater @thefact0rygirl @corrabell @nomercyforthewarrior @msfett @ashotofspotchka @milf-obi-wan-kenobi @hayley-the-comet @ladykatakuri @deewithani @meabravo @fivesarctrooper @rowansparrow @sithdjarins @daore @spacehooters @perpetual-fangirl900 @clonecyare @djarrex @amcheeken @pinkiemme @echoskama @maygalodon @ittybittykylo @holding-on-to-starwars @nymphwriting @paintballkid711 @stardust-galaxies

#galas thots #boba fett #boba fett x reader #boba fett x you #boba fett fanfiction #the book of boba fett #tbobf

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breitzbachbea · 3 years ago

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The Hetalia "Cell Block Tango" AU/Scenario

This idea left my brain last saturday and, as usual, has already completely spun out of control two days later. Much thanks to Riva (@fireandiceland) for their open ear and grandiose input, all of the following bullshit would not have been possible without them.

This is essentially an update to this post about a "Cell Block Tango" Performance for Hetalia ships that at some point could be construed as partner exercising foreign rule over the other. We've talked about it as a show that the countries put on for fun, so it's not really an AU. We're here to be horny and have fun, not to be dramatic and edgy, okay. (Or at least not "actual murder" dramatic).

Here's the list of the couples and their corresponding parts that we settled on. (I'll use the names of the characters from "Chicago" & their iconic little cue).

Liz/Pop - SuFin, with Tino as Liz. The ship was Riva's suggestion and I like them for this part not only because the triviality of the murder motive suits their domestic vibe, but the violent solution fits Tino's wilder/more darker side that sleeps under that friendly exterior.

Annie/Six - Spamano, with Lovino as Annie. Look, Riva agreed that loose lover Antonio seems plausible, I think poisoning is a good way to murder for Lovino and I also. Really. Just love the image of the "deathkiss" and then Lovino kicking Antonio two meters across the stage. And I am sure that Antonio feels the same way as I do.

June/Squish - DenNor, with Lukas as June. I mostly settled on them because I can see Matthias be somewhat possessive and I can see him thoroughly excited for the choreography. (Maybe also for the fact that he gets to wear no shirt). Riva also said that the scenario itself and the ambiguity about whether or not June actually cheated meshes well with Lukas' more elusive nature.

Hunyak/Uh-Uh - LietBel, with Natalya as Hunyak. (Natalya? Natasha? I'm sorry if I misremembered her name, use whatever floats your boat). We both agreed that we needed Natalya in this, but I couldn't quite find a ship with her quickly that worked well with my original definition of Empire/Territory. Giving her Hunyak's innocent part solves that problem, subverts her often arguably pretty meh canon/fanon interpretations and she gets to have a beautiful dance number with Toris. Toris, who is just really happy for his girlfriend and resigned between the hotblooded, horny chaos that is the rest :).

Velma/Cicero - TurGre, with Herakles as Velma. I thought the cheating situation suited them, as I have a weakness for Herakles being Sadık's favourite, but certainly not only bedfellow at all times and the intensity of the rage is one Herakles well-deserves (if only for show these days). Plus, their performance required a third person and lemme tell you, they do not lack options in my brain. I considered Mohammed (Egypt) at first, but then thought he'd probably politely decline but would surely love to watch the show for "moral support". So instead I went for my Sicily OC Michele as Veronica, because mom said it's my turn on the self-indulgence machine.

Mona/Lipschitz - AusHun, with Erzsébet as Mona. I was sold at the "a real artistic guy, sensitive" part (even though Roderich is rather a musician than a painter) and Riva pointed out that the cheating also could be a great reference to the Habsburg marriage politics.

Further Thoughts (& Thots) for this under the cut, because I knew if I had this post uncut on my dash, I'd murder someone too:

- Mads is really excited about the choreography until he realizes that he has to basically throw half a bridge and hold it for most of Natalya's part. Mads: "Oh. So I gotta keep this up for the whole number now?" Lukas: "Quit whining ..." One of the others: "What, is the viking already folding?" Mads: "Pfft, as if, no problem for me!" He looks up at Lukas. "Besides, the view from down here isn't that bad either." Lukas threateningly lifts his foot with dangerously high-heeled boot. Mads: 'Don't say Step on me, don't say Step on me, don't say - Ah crap, I already did, didn't I?' Practice has to be paused and Natalya chews them out for ruining her practice!

- As Riva put it and I then expanded upon:

How we imagine Hetalia Cell Block Tango: Intriguing, dark, erotic.

How it actually is: Antonio, Mathias, Berwald, Sadık about to cream their pants while Lovino, Lukas, Tino, Herakles live their dreams. Natalya fighting everyone who makes a single wrong step during her part of the performance, Toris trying to calm her down. Erzsébet pulling Roderich off stage to do a private tango. Ex-Imperial dick measuring contests between Antonio, Sadık and Roderich, although the latter of course tries to not to get dragged into any thing so undignified. However, there are still ties with Antonio and also, a bitch (Roderich) may not start a fight, but a bitch is sure going to end one! Or at least attempt to do so. Endless South Italian Bickering, because Lovino and Michele may get on marginally better than Lovino does with Feliciano, but unlike Feli, Michè pays back in kind.

- Here's my two cents on the nature of the horniness of the "murdered lovers": Antonio and Sadık are unapologetically gawking and can't imagine anything better than being 'mistreated' by their darling. Being kicked across, shoved nearly off the stage is part of the fun and they don't hide it. Rest in rip everyone else who has to witness this. Matthias tries to half-heartedly hide how turned on he his, but as we saw above, he isn't very good at it. Maybe it also just looks like he's trying to hide it because he is North European after all, so it looks tame next to the two other horndogs. Berwald's extremely flustered, which is either clear as daylight to everyone around him or he tries so hard to stay 'professional' that his hands shake and he can barely talk. (Which I'd personally find hilarious when contrasted with Antonio one number over). Roderich acts as if he isn't as affected, but his façade also cracks often enough. He's got it just as bad as everyone else for his Erzsì, but he doesn't want to show it in front of other people.

- I also wrote a Minific yesterday, mostly concerned with Michele being asked to participate & some bitching between him and Lovino. If I find the time, I'll clean it up tonight and post it some time.

That's it! Thank you for reading and if you any additions, I would love to hear it (and I am sure Riva would love so, too!). I'd also love it if you wanted to share any fanart, fanfic or anything else based on this - even if you just take the basic premise and change things from how I described them because you think something else works better for you.

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fandom-blackhole · 3 years ago

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Sinful Sunday!!!!

AN: Soooo sorry I've been MIA this week. I don't know whats gotten to me but motivation has been L O W this past week, but I should be back soon, I have some work stuff to finish. BUT, when I do come back, it will be with a nice one-shot (small hint, its for a certain merman featured in another set of sinful sunday thots) and then I'll get to the THOTs piled in my inbox....

Sinful Sunday Masterlist

Pairings: Ezra (Prospect) x Reader, Din Djarin x Reader x Paz Vizsla, Modern!Captain Rex x Reader

• So the idea is Ezra x reader + Zombie Apocalypse AU, but considering its me, it'll be more like a Last of Us AU, of sorts

Ezra (Prospect) x Reader

So I wouldn't say this is really a THOT, its more or less just a concept I wanted to share. If you guys like it let me know and I might make it into a short series....

• Cee would definitely be in this one, unlike my other Ezra series (Hayloft)

• I imagine Ezra to be a hunter, someone who purposely attacks people and steals their supplies, but he himself tries to avoid killing, though the rest of his small group does not

• Ezra meets Cee, when he is the one being used as bait and he's acting like he's injured while his team members wait to ambush Cee and her father

• A big fight breaks out and Cee’s father is killed along with two of the hunters and Cee is bound and taken to the hideout

• Ezra keeps trying to talk and negotiate with his group to let Cee go because she is just a girl, but he ends up being threatened and told to shut up

• So on his early morning watch, he packs a big bag and steals alot of the supplies, before going to Cee and taking off with her

• The two barely reach the city limits before the hunters catch up, and a fire fight ensues, which also draws in a small group of zombies/infected

• In the skirmish, Ezra and Cee management to fight off all zombie/infected and hunters, BUT Ezra does get a small bite on his arm

• Cee cuts it off for him right there, and they go build a small fire just enough to cauterize it, before moving so they don't attract more attention

• Where are they headed? Well, Ezra happens to know a sweet little peach(reader) who owns a bartering house a few towns over, a place that is neutral ground for everyone, and they own him a small favor

At this point you aren't even sure how you had gotten into this situation, but maker you wouldn't trade it for anything in the galaxy. The situation? You were currently sandwiched between two of the fiercest mandalorian warriors you knew. All you could feel, smell, or think about was them and how absolutely FULL you felt. You can't even think straight too overwhelmed with pleasure, your head too full of the whines and rambles of the man below you and the loud grunts and groans of the man on top of you.

Din Djarin x Reader x Paz Vizsla

First off thank you, @joculatrices for letting me talk about this THOT with you. I was pretty hesitant to post this one, but it has been haunting me for weeks, and while I don't think Paz nor Din would be into sharing all that much, the THOT of them both having their way with me, well it has me overheating.....

You held both Din Djarin and Paz Vizsla close to your heart, but you had never even imagined that you would be with them like this, blindfolded as they both filled you. You never imagined that you'd be here laying ontop of Din, with his twitching cock nestled deep inside your ass, as Paz held your legs as wide as possible and pounded into you pussy like there was no tomorrow. Paz reached down at some point and wrapped his thick fingers around your neck as Din bit into your shoulder trying to quiet himself just a little. It was almost too much feeling the slide of Paz’s thick cock in and out of you, and along the thin wall that separated him from Din's own cock. You were wetter than you had ever been in the past, and hearing each squelch-y thrust from Paz drove you crazy. You could feel yourself dripping down to where you were combined with Din, who was twitching and giving out breathy moans from the stimulation he was receiving with each rough thrust from Paz.

The pleasure was so good, and overwhelming and you didn't want it to end but you could feel yourself about to snap. Din was mumbling something you couldn't make out as he reached around and squeezes your breasts and started circling your nipples. That small added pleasure is all you needed to be launched over the edge into the abyss, and you came harder than you ever had before. You heard Din curse loudly as you tightened up around him and he gave a small thrust before groaning your name and cumming deep inside of you. It didn't take long for Paz to follow, as he gave you three earth shattering, hard thrusts while praising how good you been and then he buried himself as deep as possible and unloaded everything he had inside of you. And as you came back down after that orgasm you knew, you were never gonna be the same after this.

You swore angrily as you all but ran to your next class. Not only had your last professor kept the whole class from leaving because HE was late, but the campus was teeming with soldiers and military personnel using the university campus as a short cut to get to the base stationed next door. You were beyond frustrated, most of the men blocking your path had been rude and tried pulling rank on you when you all but ran passed them, and you had probably given a few too many middle fingers to the assholes, but you could find it in yourself to care.

Modern!Captain Rex x Reader

Ok so after all that FILTH, here is a cute little THOT of how you meet modern au Captain Rex.....

Then one of the grabbed your arm right as you were about to reach the building your class was in and you saw red. You couldn't even hear what he was saying, and you ripped your arm away from him, and in a loe voice, most certainly interrupting his rant, you said, "Do not touch me, or I will make sure you meet your maker sooner than you are supposed to."

You saw his jaw clench and his face turn into a snarl as he spit back, "Do you know who you are talking to?"

As he spoke he rose his finger sticking it in your face. The anger of knowing that you were late to class and your professor had most certainly closed and locked the classroom door at this point, and from the fact that the man infrastructure of you thought he could walk all over you boiled over. In a split second, as he was still shoving his finger in your face and raising his voice, you whipped your hand up, grabbed his finger tightly, and smashed it back until you heard a satisfying crackl. With a smirk, you made eye contact with the now shocked and angered man and said, "That is for making me late to class, would you like for me to continue or are you going to walk away?"

The man puffed up his chest and rose his other hand to slap you but, an arm shot out from behind you, and a deep voice rumbled out, "That is enough, Private Connors, get yourself back to the barracks, your free time has bee revoked and you are being put on bathroom duty for threatening a civilian. Your tooth brush better be ready when I get back to the barracks myself."

"Yes, Captain...."

As the man walked away dejected, the other man, whose deep and ordering voice went straight to your belly, came around and gave you a soft smile as he ran a hand through his buzzed, blond hair.

"I am sorry for the way the Private Connors treated you, and I think the broken finger you gave him wasn't even close to the punishment he deserves for that attitude," you blushed and looked down, before smiling up at the now shy Captain. He stuck his hand out saying, "Captain Rex of the 501st, if there is anyway I can make it up to you, please let me know."

Shaking his hand you introduced yourself and mumbled out, "Well since he made me late to class, my afternoon just freed up, so...um... if you aren't busy, there is this nice Cafe two or so blocks from here?"

#sinful sunday #ezra prospect x reader #ezra x reader #din djarin x reader x paz vizsla #din x reader x paz #din djarin x reader #din x reader #paz vizsla x reader #paz x reader #captain rex x reader #rex x reader

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nonstop-haikyuu · 4 years ago

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Teasing Omi

That’s right, ya girl is back! shout out to @haikyuufairy for again encouraging my thotfulness!

Warnings: use of a vibrator, blindfold, bondage, use of a safe word(not a full stop), spreader bar, cream pie, degradation, slight D/s, edging, Omi is kinda mean ngl, vaginal sex, fingering

Deep down, I knew the result of teasing Kiyoomi. But with three shots of tequila and Atsumu encouraging me, my self preservation instinct fled. It was a private party, with the Black Jackals and Adlers coming together to celebrate their most recent game against one another. Somehow I managed to convince my boyfriend to join the fun, insisting that he could have the entire weekend off from socializing. And with that, he agreed.

We arrived at the bar that the teams had reserved for the celebration, his teammates shouting greeting as they noticed our entrance. I waved eagerly and turned to Kiyoomi, asking, “Would you like something to drink, my love?” He hummed quietly then replied, “Just a water. I’m going to find a booth, alright?” I nodded in understanding and he kissed me on the forehead before hunching his shoulders to avoid people as he walked towards an empty table. Turning towards the bar, I saw the mischief brewing in Bokuto and Atsumu’s eyes, the two plotting something.

I waved at the bartender then called out, “Two waters please!” The woman nodded her acknowledgement and began to fill up the glasses as I joined the two. Atsumu ruffled my hair affectionately then chirped, “Hey, small one! Good to see ya! Say, ya don’t mind settling somethin’ between Bo and I, do ya?” I should’ve said no. I should’ve taken the waters the bartender handed me and walked back to Kiyoomi before the blond man had the chance to ask the stupid favor.

“Sure, what’s up?” I questioned as I leaned against the bar. The men exchanged mischievous glances and Bokuto chimed in, “I don’t think anyone can get on Kiyoomi’s nerves anymore, especially after dealing with our team but Tsum-Tsum thinks that you can. Would you be up for proving one of us right?”

I hummed at the question and glanced over to my boyfriend, who was oblivious to the conversation taking place, before I replied, “Well I already know that I can get on his nerves. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got water to drink and Omi to cuddle with.”

The night continued to pass and the two continued to poke at me, asking if I would show them the evidence of how I got on their precious Omi-kun’s nerves, only for me to shut them down. Only for the tequila shots to come into play. Hinata and Kageyama had joined our table, with the orange haired spiker insisting that I take a shot with him. Betrayed, Atsumu and Bokuto insisted that I take a shot with them as well, protesting, “It’s not fair, we didn’t have shots to take!”

And with that, the three shots of tequila loosened me. I leaned into Kiyoomi as he continued to scroll through his phone, clearly uninterested by the current argument taking place across the table from him. I kissed his shoulder briefly and he flicked his gaze down to me. Flashing a brief smile, I nudged Atsumu and Bokuto under the table, catching their attention.

“Omi, your teammates don’t think that I can get on your nerves. Can you believe that?”I asked, a whiny tone beginning to escape. His eyebrows furrowed together then his eyes widened when my hand slid across his thigh. He stiffened under my touch and asked in a low tone, “Is that so? They don’t know you very well then, do they, plum?”

Plum, my nickname that Omi almost never used outside out of the bedroom. This was dangerous territory I was treading in but it was so tempting. How could I ignore the beautiful opportunity that was presented?

I shot a sly smile to Atsumu and Bokuto then I slid my hand higher, eager to find Kiyoomi’s cock through his pants. My boyfriend drew in a deep breath as my fingers tightened around his dick.

Omi snapped his hand around my wrist, freezing me, before he stated coldly, “If you know what’s good for, I suggest you keep your hands to yourself.” I shivered at the underlying threat then pressed closer, murmuring, “Are you going to punish me, sir?”

His jaw clenched at the name then slid out of the booth, tugging me out along with him. Atsumu raised an eyebrow at our sudden departure and I winked in his direction as Kiyoomi pulled me out of the bar. I slid my fingers against his then he tightened his hold, muttering, “You’re going to regret teasing me out in public. The only way you get out of this is if you say the safe word.”

“I want this, Omi, I promise. Please take me home and punish me?” I cooed, pressing against him. Dark eyes narrowed down at me then he shoved me towards the car as he snapped, “Get in.” My eyes fluttered at the harshness but did as he asked, eager to find out what my boyfriend had in plan for me.

Our drive home was silent and I squirmed in my seat as I began to consider what Omi was going to do. His hand clamped down on my thigh, freezing me, then he warned, “Quit squirming. It’s not going to do you any good.” He ushered me inside our home then waved a hand towards the bedroom after unlocking the door, muttering, “Go get undressed and lay on the bed. I’ll be there in a bit.” I nodded and did as he said, laying on the bed naked.

Kiyoomi soon entered the bedroom with a towel and a water bottle, setting both items on the bed. I watched, intrigued as he began to rifle through our chest of toys that stayed under our bed, then froze when he set the spreader bar and vibrator on the bed, followed by the leather cuffs that we had brought last month. He stood and glared down at me, asking, “So based on what I just put on the bed, tell me. Do you think it was a wise decision to tease me in public just to prove my teammates right or wrong?”

“I-I was just trying to have fun.” I insisted, dropping my gaze. Sakusa tilted his head at me then reached into the chest again, pulling out the one thing that I hated the most- the blindfold. He tossed the towel at me and ordered, “Take the comforter off and put this underneath your hips. Do you understand, plum?”

“Sir, please don’t use the blindfold, please!” I begged, scrambling to grip the front of his shirt. He snatched my wrist and shoved me backwards, climbing over me, hissing, “You’re stupid to think that you’re in charge, plum. If you don’t like your punishment, say the word and we’re done. Do you understand that?” I swallowed hard then nodded, murmuring, “Yes sir, I understand.”

Kiyoomi nodded then helped me tug the comforter off our bed, careful not to get it dirty. Sheets were easy to wash and dry. Thick blankets? Not so much, as we’ve learned from the past. He slid the towel under my hips then nudged my arms underwards, pausing when I asked, “Omi? Can I have a kiss before we start?” He smiled softly down at me then kissed me gently, his thumb stroking my cheek. He pulled away and jerked his head towards the headboard, stating, “Alright, my love, up you go. You have a punishment to take.”

I nodded in understanding and drew in a deep breath as he clasped the cuffs over my wrists with the chain jingling briefly against the headboard. Kiyoomi stared down at me for a few moments, his face expressionless, then he murmured, “It’s a shame that you wanted to misbehave, plum. I had a different plan in place for tonight. We beat the Adlers and I was going to reward you for being by my side for all that we’ve worked for. But then you took Atsumu and Bokuto’s bait and here we are.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” I murmured, hanging my head. I loved riling him up but I hated the disappointed tone that he used when it came to my punishments. He tilted my head upwards then snapped, “Don’t fucking lie to me, plum; it’ll only worsen your punishment.” I fell silent and he slipped the blindfold over my head, blanketing my world in darkness, leaving me defenseless.

Kiyoomi spread my thighs apart and the cuffs clasped around my ankles, a soft hum escaping me. I shivered at the sound then he hissed, “What a shame my plum couldn’t be a good girl. Oh well. If you want to be a filthy little slut and touch me out in public where anyone can see us, I’ll just have to remind you who’s in charge.” A soft click filled the silence following words and a buzzing filled my ears.

“I could just fuck you with this toy but honestly, I think we need to break you down first. So we’ll start here.” he informed me, pressing the vibrator against my right nipple. I stifled a surprised gasp then waited until he moved it. I could handle Kiyoomi degrading me, that was a normal thing that I lived to hear. But the silence killed me. He was pissed that I pushed our boundaries and touched him outside of the bedroom, which was understandable, but the least he could do was talk while he tormented me.

“Is that so, plum? You want me to talk while I torment you? What a whore, not even a toy like this can satisfy you.” he scoffed, disgust dripping from his tone.

“I’m not a whore!” I insisted, trembling in my restraints. He chuckled and gripped my face between one hand, squeezing hard as he hissed, “Oh but you are. You’re my little whore. I have to say, I wasn’t expecting you to be this bratty. I was just going to tease you a bit then fuck you brainless but I guess I’m going to have to put you in your place.” He released my face and the vibrator slid lower. I gulped as he pressed the head of the toy against my stomach then asked, “Anything to say, plum?”

“Do your worst.” I bit back, earning a surprised glance. Kiyoomi chuckled then the vibrator was pressed against my folds, causing me to jerk against my restraints. I had restraint, a simple touch to my pussy by some toy wouldn’t break me. I wouldn’t allow it. Clearly, my resilience showed even through the blindfold because my boyfriend laughed humorlessly and drawled out, “Going to be a brat until the bitter end, plum? Well if that’s the way that you want to act.”

The toy shifted upwards and he applied pressure to the spreader bar when it found my clit. I stifled a quiet yelp at the sudden pleasure and waited for Kiyoomi to move or say something. Long fingers spread my pussy open, allowing better access to the hardening bud, then I jerked against my restraints. With a soft click, he increased the speed and I gasped. My hands curled into fists then he began to rub tight circles against my clit, beginning to work me towards an orgasm.

“Oh what a good little whore you are, trying to resist what I’m giving you. Maybe I should just fuck you with this little toy and be done with it.” Kiyoomi suggested off-handedly.

I trembled at the threat and whimpered, “Please sir, please don’t! I want your cock, please don’t fuck me with the vibrator.” He tsked then pressed hard on the spreader bar, snapping, “What’s your safe word?” My mouth fell open and I scrambled to remember what it was, only for him to jerk the vibrator away, ceasing the building orgasm. I drew in a deep breath then rushed out, “It’s Jackal, please sir, I-I remember what it is!”

“Good. Now stay still and I’ll consider making you come, plum.” And with that, he turned the vibrator to its highest setting and pushed inside, fucking me with the toy. I sobbed and jerked against my restraints, unable to do as he ordered. He bit my hip, causing me to cry out, then he snapped, “Stupid whore just doesn’t know when to listen. I said, stay fucking still!”

I continued to rock against the vibrator, ignoring his warning, and he slapped my thigh. Screaming at the pain that surged through my senses, I gasped then twisted against the pressure on my ankles.

“I wish you would fucking listen to me. I said stay still!” Kiyoomi ordered, curving the toy upwards to press against my G-spot and he began to rub right circles against my clit. I moaned and my head tilted back as I tightened my hold around the headboard, desperate to stay still.

“That’s right, that’s how you’re supposed to act. You know I’m going to give you what you need, so I don’t know why you kept moving. But it’s good to see that my dumb little slut is finally remembering what she’s supposed to do.” he cooed, patting my cheek. I nodded gently then waited for him to give me permission, only for him to pull away his fingers. I sniffled briefly then whimpered, “Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I touched your cock out in public.”

Kiyoomi chuckled and pressed my head upwards, beginning to suck multiple marks down my neck.. He began to fuck me harder with the vibrator, leaving me gasping for more. Whenever I teased Omi, I knew that my punishment wasn’t going to be the most pleasurable and the blindfold had derived me from seeing his beautiful expressions in action. I continued to cream around the toy then cried, “I-I’m so sorry! Please make me come, sir!”

He gripped the center of the spreader bar then bent my knees, changing the angle of the vibrator. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I panted, unable to do anything but take the pleasure he was giving me. He pressed hard against my clit then asked in that harsh tone, “Does my little whore want to cream all over this worthless toy?”

My head bobbed up and down as I rushed out, “Yes, yes, please sir, I want to come!” Kiyoomi hummed as if he was truly contemplating letting me come on the vibrator then jerked it out, leaving me to fall limp in the sheets with a quiet yelp.

“Sir, sir, please! Please, I’m so sorry, I won’t ever tease you again! Please, Kiyoomi, just let me come! I promise I’ll be your good slut, please just lemme come!” I sobbed, my words beginning to run together. He slapped my hip and I hiccuped through my tears as he spat, “Sluts like you don’t deserve to call me Kiyoomi, do they? I thought you were my good girl, plum. I wish you would just listen to me.”

“Please… please, I’m sorry, I’ll be the best for you, I’ll do whatever you want. Please…” I whimpered, tears streaming down my face. He traced my hip with a long finger then asked, “What’s your color, my love?”

“I- it’s yellow, please sir…” I drawled off, head turned to the side. Kiyoomi hummed in understanding and questioned, “What can I do to get you back to green?” I sniffled through my tears before finally answering, “T-The blindfold? Can you take- take off the blindfold, sir?” He hushed me and tugged the cloth upwards as he warned, “Close your eyes so you don’t get blinded, alright? Taking it off now.”

I blinked slowly as the material was taken away, my chest heaving with my tears, and Kiyoomi asked, “Can I do anything else to help you get back to green, my love?” I glanced down at the spreader bar then back up at him, murmuring, “Could you- will you take off the spreader bar and cuffs? I promise I’ll be good for you, sir, I just need them off.”

He nodded then undid the cuffs around my ankles and wrists, rubbing at the indentations that remained. I leaned against the pillows and he cupped my face as he murmured, “How are you now, my love? Do you want to continue the scene?” I nodded eagerly then pressed my lips against his wrist, urging, “Please, Omi, I want you to fuck me. Please, sir!”

He tightened his grip around my jaw then warned, “Plum, you should watch your tone.” I sighed at the returning harshness and he laughed quietly, muttering, “Dirty little slut is so needy for my cock. Are you ready for me to fuck you?” I nodded and he hooked a hand underneath my knee, raising my leg to wrap it around his waist. Kiyoomi drew in a deep breath then reminded me quietly, “You don’t have to do this, you know this, right, my love?”

“I love you and how sweet you can be, but please fuck me stupid.” I encouraged, tightening my legs around his hips. He groaned and slapped my thigh when he pressed inside. I gasped at the rush of pleasure and pain then clutched at his back. Long fingers trailed down my throat and he cooed, “You’re so fucking beautiful, plum. So good to me. I love you, sweetness.”

I stared up with him with an adoring gaze and murmured, “I love you too, so fucking much. I promise I’ll be good for you now on.” Kiyoomi smiled down at me briefly then replied, “Don’t be too good though, plum. You know you’re allowed to act just a bit bratty every once and a while.”

“I think you’ve turned soft. Encouraging me to be a brat? Lame.” I retorted with a roll of my eyes. His gaze darkened and the hand tracing my shoulders and breasts snapped up around my throat before he hissed, “I should’ve known that brattiness from earlier was still in there somewhere. Now shut up and take my cock.”

I gasped softly then tightened around his cock as he slammed into me. He set a merciless pace, hips slapping harshly against the insides of my thighs, and he hissed, “Stupid brat, you thought I wasn’t going to fuck you brainless? Oh you’re fucking in for it now.”

“Yes, yes, I wanted it, sir! Please fuck me harder!” I cried, fingers tightening in his curls. He sucked hard on my nipple, teeth grazing the sensitive skin, then he growled, “You better not pull, plum. You know what will happen, don’t you?” My eyes gleamed at the reminder of what followed pulling Kiyoomi’s hair then tugged hard. He snarled and bit my shoulder, snapping his hips hard against the inside of my thighs.

“Yes, please oh… Omi, Omi,” I whined, twisting my fingers in his hair, “Y-you’re so big!” He chuckled against the new marks he was sucking into my neck then pulled his cock out, until only the head remained inside.

“Is my cock too big for your little pussy to handle, plum? Hmm? Need me to go slower?” he asked, grinding against me. I sobbed at the teasing and pleaded, “I can take it, please, I promise, sir! Please give me your dick!” Long fingers wrapped around my knee then pressed it upwards before he warned, “I hope you can take my dick, plum, because I’m about to fuck you stupid.”

He snapped his hips into mine and I choked on the sound that begun to bubble in my throat. Kiyoomi set a brutal pace, his hips slapping the insides of my thighs as he growled, “That’s it, plum, take my fat cock. Think I’m going to fill you up today, remind you why you don’t tease me, especially in public. Do you want that, plum? Want me to fill that pretty cunt up with my come so much you won’t be able to shift without it leaking all over your pretty thighs?”

“Kiyoomi, please, want it so much! Wanna have your come in my pussy! Make me come please!” He hummed at my insistence then he pressed a large hand on my stomach as he shifted his angle to force the tip of his cock against the spongy spot that made me jerk in his hold.

I sobbed as the pleasure began to build then he snapped, “Come now, plum. Come around my cock and I’ll fill you up as much as you want.” I buried my face in his shoulder, hiccuping with my pleasure, then Kiyoomi circled my clit with his thumb. My orgasm swept my senses into overload and my eyes slammed shut as I clutched at his back, screaming through the pleasure.

Seconds passed then I glanced up at my boyfriend, who grumbled, “It’s my turn to come, my love, and you’re going to come with me.” My eyes widened at the statement and started to protest, only for his pace to become bruising, his fingers tight around my leg as he snapped, “You don’t get a choice, plum. You’re going to come around my cock again.” I whimpered and buried my face in his chest.

He groaned in my ear as I continued to clench around his cock then he growled, “Gonna come so hard, plum, gonna fill you up. Oh fuck, that’s right, come for me again, my love.” I bit hard on his shoulder as I gushed around his dick, whimpering around the skin.

Kiyoomi lost his pace then continued to pump me full of come. We laid in that position for a bit longer and he slid out, careful not to overstimulate me as he did so, before he pressed my thighs apart, humming at the sight.

“God, my love, you look so good full of my come. I should do this more, just to watch it dribble out.” he suggested, massaging my thighs. I whimpered at the statement and he kissed my stomach before he rolled out of bed. When he returned, he had a water bottle in hand then he murmured, “Alright, drink up, my love, then we’ll go get a shower, okay?”

I hummed in agreement and drank some of the water, careful not to drink too much. Kiyoomi stretched a hand out to me then we walked into the bathroom, ready to shower and get some sleep.

When the morning came, a text came in from Atsumu, asking the MSBY group chat if anyone was up for an early lunch at Onigiri Miya that was close to their gym. Kiyoomi kissed my forehead then asked, “Would you like to come to lunch with us, my love?” I hummed against his chest and mumbled, “Yeah, sounds good to me.”

We arrived at the shop and I waved to Osamu who was chatting with his brother and the other players that had gathered for the lunch Atsumu set up. I stifled a quiet groan as my thigh cramped up and settled down in a booth, catching the blond twin’s attention. He raised an eyebrow, clearly curious about why I was complaining, then Kiyoomi stated simply, “Miya, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t encourage her in getting on my nerves. She has a tendency to regret the repercussions of the punishment.”

Silence settled over the table then I buried my hands in my face, whining, “Omi, you can’t just say that!”

#sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi smut #sakusa kiyoomi imagines #haikyuu kiyoomi #hq kiyoomi smut #haikyuu smut #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #cass content #my fics #hq smut #hq imagines #msby kiyoomi #haikyuu post time skip

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wonuuoo · 3 years ago

Text

posting here bc no ones here :)

eaj is just so full of shit. i miss jae of day6. idc how badly he wants to shed that apparent image of him, i can still miss the idea of him.

ever since he started streaming, his personality has just gotten worse. not saying that twitch caused it bc some of the ppl he interacts w seem like p good people. but before jae left jype and day6, when he took breaks, hed just use that time to stream on twitch. no, i cant police what he wants to do on break. yes, i can criticize that if u want a real break, you need to step away fm social media.

hes said other things on twitch streams that have gotten him some heat already (i can think of 3 off the top of my head and i dont even actually follow him) not all 3 situations were actually reflective of specific problematic behavior, but all 3 are def in the literal sense controversial and continue to aggravate his problems with social media, misunderstandings, and "cancel culture"

cancel culture is in quotes bc while cancel culture hurts those who are falsely accused and is also mentally draining to go thru, clearly he hasnt ever been actually cancelled bc he still has a decent following

hes been talking abt how toxic social media is, how tired he is of being misconstrued, and how important the impact of ppls words are, yet here we are, dealing with a problem that embodies all three of those ideas in such a terrible way.

going thru the video and apology of his comments abt jamie tho.

whyd he have to wait to be out of kpop (which he time and time again complains abt its "sanitation" and "manufacturered" nature,* thereby implying that the following statement is a more objective/unfiltered opinion)

he knew this was smth that would get him in trouble (tho i doubt he had the foresight to realize just how much trouble) he knew "thot" wasnt a particularly kind word** based on how much he kept laughing, goading the viewer to snitch on him, knowing how upset jamie was going to get, then flipping back to not wanting to get in trouble and already envisioning how u need to defend urself and how twitter will react***

the notes app apology and tagging jamie. while the public does not know what is happening in private (ie him reaching out privately and settling the matter (i think if he did reach out privately he should've mentioned that he did (attempt to) settle this privately first and that this is the public apology to address the situation)) his public apology still looks terrible. the twt itself is just an @ and a screenshot, so the twt only shows up on the second tab. he literally says "i feel terrible for making jamie feel the way she does" which while is a start, he never goes on to say 'im sorry for using a hurtful word, specifically "thot" to describe jamie'. "friendly banter" my ass how was that comment supposed to be banter if she wasnt even there to actually "banter"/defend herself. "in no way was i referencing any kind of physical behavior or energy" lmao he literally went on to "mock defend" himself in the event jamie went to approach him

he goes on to defend and compliment her on his stream but very quickly makes a slight at her (speaking on how 'vocally jamie is a demon (amazing and unparalleled) but "image-wise? *shakes head and looks away*° idk bro"') like the juxtaposition of praising her and then going but on this front... shrug :eyeemoji: clearly demonstrates contextual contrast he wanted to make

video quote: "i shouldn't have said that (calling jamie a thot) it wasn't worth it"

*truly hate his stance on this bc we all know kpop is messy and the only ppl who strictly hold this standpoint dont rlly know anything abt the industry

**also if u dont fully understand a word, dont use it. do some research. if youre going to hide behind the excuse of not knowing what it means, ur fully in the wrong for using it. even if he used baddie instead, he clearly had the intent to ridicule someone who wasnt there to defend themselves in order to get a reaction. also he himself didnt take it as a compliment when his own "friends" called him a thot

***he says how twitter will respond w how jae is just bitter and is thot-shaming. and honestly yeah he does sound bitter when u compile all the times hes mentioned kpop to stay relevant

°it could theoretically be assumed that he looked away to fix his set up

honestly i feel so bad for the rest of day6 and all the fans who defended him thinking hes better than this. its such an embarrassment thinking hes the same person he used to be. hes obviously changed. he went fm someone who tried his best to someone who keeps tacking bad press to them.

while ik he doesnt technically owe day6 or jype anything, i can still be disappointed in the degradation of his morals.

anyway thats my brain dump idk what else to add if ill add more later

#foreign idol #later #not directly related but #rlly rlly hate his stance on kpop perception #like yes. foreign idols are rarer than domestic kr idols #yes many idols begin training early on #but jae rlly thinks hes super crazy special for being a and joining in #hes ethnically korean #just foreign born and raised #and ik bang chan is v different fm jae #but wow i rlly loved how chan worded his take on kpop and the perceived manufacturing in that interview w refinery29 (i think)#ily chan for that #didn't want this clouding my thoughts on jae

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ihyperfixatedtoohard · 3 years ago

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Not my fave song but a song that I’ve always thot is great for romance Under control by Parachute for geraskier ofc

I’m sorry this took so long, I’ve just had terrible writer’s block lately, which is why this one is a bit rushed and doesn’t flow well. Hopefully I’ll come back to it at some point. To make it up to you, I included a drawing of one of the random scenes from this! I hope you like it! (Also, by drawing, I mean incredibly quick sketch that I will likely never finish of Jaskier gazing at Geralt longingly just before the kiss)

~1,300 words

Warnings- Uhh… Geralt yells at Jaskier, they kiss in front of a bunch of people, mutual pining, Slightly Horny, but really just barely, happy ending

Geralt could feel eyes on him. Never a good sign. Usually it means a fight, or at the very least a one-sided screaming match where Geralt will just have to sit there and accept the verbal abuse. This had been happening since Jaskier started playing for the night, but no matter how many times Geralt checked his surroundings, he couldn’t figure out who was staring at him.

An hour passed, and then ten minutes, before he finally turned around fully to see if they were stupid enough to be boring holes in him from directly behind him and-… and… it was Jaskier. Had been Jaskier the whole time. He looked alive, prancing about on stage like that- eyes ablaze with energy, joy, hopefulness. All things Geralt hardly ever saw- especially not with eyes turned upon his figure. When Geralt met Jaskier’s eyes, the gaze quickly shifted, and Geralt couldn’t help but feel like Jaskier thought he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t be. Geralt knew the way Jaskier loved- quickly and fiercely, with his whole being- and Geralt also knew that such affections could never turn his way- be directed at him- even when Jaskier did things like this. Even when the ridiculous bard pulled shit like this- looking as though he longed for something and then decided he couldn’t have it. Fortunately, Geralt was a smart enough man to know that his thoughts were misplaced- that everything he thought he saw as romance was nothing more than his own longing, and his mind playing tricks to ease the pain of loving someone like Jaskier.

Another hour passed by before Jaskier’s show ended, and the whole time Geralt had been thinking of nothing but the expressions that had danced across the bard’s face. Jaskier approached Geralt’s table and sat across from him as he dabbed at the sweat on his brow. Geralt couldn’t help the feeling that stirred in his stomach- the feeling that he always got after Jaskier finished a performance- which was immediately followed by countless unsavory thoughts.

“… Geralt? You’re staring through me again.” He chuckled softly. “Are you alright?”

“Mh- oh, yes.”

“Good. Did you enjoy the performance?” Jaskier leaned lazily against the table as an ale was brought to the table- complementary, due to the performance.

“… It was less annoying that usual.” Geralt grunted. He refused to admit he liked Jaskier’s performances. It would give him away completely. Jaskier huffed and rolled his eyes before picking up the mug of ale and drinking deeply. He wiped the remaining foam from his lip with the back of his hand.

“Bollocks. You like my music. Don’t lie.” Geralt let out a soft chuckle in place of a response, which Jaskier chose to scoff at before returning to his drink. Geralt stared at him for a moment- wondering how to talk to Jaskier about what had happened during Jaskier’s show.

“Anyway, I think it’s about time for us to reti-“

“You were staring at me.” Geralt grumbled before Jaskier could finish his sentence, causing the poor bard to choke on air.

“I-I beg your pardon?”

“… I noticed you staring at me for most of your performance… You stopped when I looked at you.” Geralt was confused about Jaskier’s sudden (yet dulled) nervousness. The poet was suddenly looking anywhere but at him, and Geralt couldn’t help but feel like he may have done something wrong.

“Well, I had planned to do this later, but…” Jaskier leaned closer to Geralt, which let the witcher catch a better whiff of the bard without his scent being drowned out by all of the others the bar had to offer.

“… You’re already drunk.” Geralt stated with slight surprise. He began to wonder if Jaskier would be more nervous right now if he weren’t intoxicated. Jaskier snorted.

“I was drinking before the performance, remember?” He chuckled as he leaned closer. “C’mere. Closer.” He slurred. Seems the adrenaline high of his performance was leaving now. Jaskier was far less focused on annunciating properly.

“… I’d rather not. Your breath is terrible.” That wasn’t exactly a lie, but there was also the fact that their faces were already so close that if Geralt leaned in any more, their lips would-… well… yeah. Jaskier giggled and moved closer, and Geralt leaned back to leave the bard more space. Jaskier huffed and rolled his eyes for the second time that night.

“You utter cock. Gotta do everything myself.”

“What the hell do you-“ He didn’t have time to finish speaking before Jaskier had launched himself around Geralt and wrapped his arms around his neck and… and kissed him! Geralt was too started to move, and he could feel dozens of eyes on them. Jaskier finally pulled back after what felt like centuries with a dazed and loving look in his eyes.

“Mhh… ‘ve wanted to do that for years.” He laughed softly. If witchers could blush, Geralt’s face would have been bright red as he grabbed his bard and carried him up to the room they had rented. Geralt just wanted to get away from the crowd as quickly as possible so he could sort through his thoughts and talk with Jaskier in private. He tossed Jaskier on the bed, and the bard clearly had a different idea of what that meant from the look he gave Geralt.

“Well, glad to see you’re just as eager as I am-“

“What the hell was that, Jask!?” Geralt shouted. He likely sounded far angrier than he actually was, but he honestly wasn’t sure what he was feeling at all. He had never experienced this much emotion at once, so it all just sort of came out as anger, since that was the emotion he was most comfortable with. Jaskier sat up straighter after Geralt yelled at him, and seemed to be more alert (or at least less lusty).

“Oh… oh, fuck, you didn’t- shit, I thought if I- fuck, I’m so stupid!” Jaskier groaned and put his head in his hands. Geralt looked over, about to agree and tear Jaskier a new one for whatever the hell sort of stunt he was trying to pull, but… well, when he turned to fully face Jaskier he realised the poor man was crying. Geralt stared for a moment- completely perplexed by this new development. Cautiously, he stepped closer, until he was sitting by the bard’s side on the bed.

“Jask, I… I’m not… I’m not mad, I just… what the hell got into you? You made a whole scene, and-“

“I know,” Jaskier interrupted, his voice shaking, “I know, I just… I-I just… I’ve… I love you. I have for so long, and… and I wanted… I wanted to tell you, b-but I knew I wouldnt’ be able to do it unless I was-“ Suddenly, all of the pieces clicked together in Geralt’s mind, revealing the full picture of his bard’s emotions.

“Drunk… you… you got drunk… so you could confess to me…” He stated somewhat dumbly. Jaskier simply nodded.

“I-I guess… I misjudged my ability to keep myself together… I had meant to just tell you, but… gods, did I actually kiss you in front of-“

“Yeah… you did… it was, um… well, it was certainly something.” Geralt coughed. In hindsight, it was rather attractive. Jaskier seemed to be picking up on Geralt’s thoughts, which gave him the courage to ask Geralt an important question.

“… Well… now you know that I love you… do… how would… I-I just mean, is there any way you would-“ Jaskier’s ramblings came to a haunt as soft, unsure lips gently brushed his own. Geralt was about to pull back- not wanting to linger, just in case Jaskier changed his mind, but Jaskier wasn’t having it. He wrapped his arms around Geralt’s neck and pulled the witcher down on top of him- capturing him in a hungry, desperate kiss- like that kiss was the only thing he had ever truly wanted in life. It may very well have been. When they pulled away, both breathless and in need of air, Jaskier spoke again.

“So… does this mean you love me?” He asked somewhat sheepishly. Geralt let out a gentle chuckle and, fuck, if Jaskier couldn’t listen to that laugh forever.

“Yes, Jaskier. I love you.”

Aaaand, now the sketch I promised>>>>

#jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #the witcher #geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #geralt/jaskier #geraskier+headcanon #gerlion #art #fan fiction

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chucklegigglechortlesnort · 5 years ago

Note

MY B O Y S :( Yaku get your ass back here. I miss you. I love nekoma too much. could I request manager for Seijoh?

YESSSSSSS IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THESE WAY TOO MUCH CAN YOU TELL???

Seijoh Manager Headcanons:

Alright so by SOME miracale you manage to sneak your way into being Seijohs manager, which the whole team is pretty surprised by.

Save for maybe Oikawa - who got you the position - or Iwaizumi.

I say this because there’s literally NO WAY, with Oikawas reputation, that they let just some random person be manager for the sake of making goo goo eyes at him all through out practice.

They made this mistake during his first year and it didn’t take long for them to learn their lesson.

So the only way you’re manager is if you’ve known Oikawa your whole life and therefore are aware of how annoying he is, or if you’re related to him. Let’s go with the former. Because I love the childhood friends cliche that’s my SHIT.

So if you’ve known Oikawa since childhood, you’ve definitely known Iwaizumi since childhood. Therefore, the coaches let you on the team not only because Oikawa knew you, but Iwaizumi put in a good word for you as well.

Doesn’t matter if you have other hobbies or interests in clubs, Oikawa is dragging you into this whether you like it or not.

You’re already familiar with the third years upon taking up the manager position, so they’re not too intimidating. Matsukawa didn’t really talk to you much at first but you both bonded over poking fun at Oikawa and a mutual love of memes.

You have a photo of oikawa sneezing where he looks absolutely atrocious that you “accidentally” sent into the group chat once. Makki and Mattsun use it religiously as a reaction image. Oikawa hates it.

You don’t talk to your fellow first years too muc, except for Watari, who’s pretty friendly. Kunimi doesn’t seem to interested in conversation and Kindaichi visibly tenses up whenever you try to talk to him, so you figured you’d have the coming years to bond with them.

Oh, and did I mention? You get invited to all the Seijoh sleepovers.

Since you’ve been friends with Oikawa your whole life, sleep overs weren’t a new thing for you. His whole family knows and adores you and you have your own seperate room at the Oikawas so your parents aren’t worried about you sleeping in a room full of teenage boys.

These sleepovers are absolute chaos

Every sleepover cliche you can name? You’ve done it. Pillow fights? Check. Often ends in bruises and ice packs. Nerf Gun wars? Iwaizumi always wins. Mario Kart? Makki plays dirty. Monopoly? Who will land on board walk this time? Trick question the answer is Mattsun. Wii sports? That’s your shit. Oikawa never wins at anything. He hates it. But he does build the best pillow forts, courtesy of all his practice with Takeru.

You’ve definitely heard every one of these boys rip ass. Even Oikawa. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. If you think for one second that they’re gonna hold it in because you’re around you’ve got another thing coming hon. Once you’re all in a private setting together all bets are off.

Jealous fan girls definitely bombard you with questions of what it’s like to be around “Oikawa-senpai” all the time, and say how lucky you are to get to be around him every day. Oh the things you could tell them, you could ruin this whole man’s career. Some even come up to you for advice on how to ask him out?? And that’s never something you know how to answer.

Kyotani’s strange respect for Iwaizumi is one of the most baffling things you’ve ever seen. You’ve tried to figure it out but honestly you don’t think you ever will. He’s an enigma and avoids you at all costs. prolly bc you’re a girl and he’s intimidated by you lmao

He still respects you tho. More than he does oikawa at least HA

By the middle of the year Kunimi and Kindaichi are progressively warming up to you and you now have a first years group chat and sit together at lunch at least twice a week. Kunimi seems to gravitate to you more than Kindaichi but you don’t push it.

You are team mom. Oikawa jokingly got you and Iwaizumi matching mom and dad sweatshirts that say “Team Mom” and “Team Dad” on them. Iwaizumi refuses to wear his but you’re more willing to play along and will wear it when you go out with the team for ramen after games.

Iwaizumi wore it to one of the sleepovers once and you forced him to take a live picture with the both of you showing off the sweatshirts.

It’s now your lock screen background and he grumbles every time he sees it.

He seceretly loves it. Good luck getting him to admit it tho.

Oikawa has a pic of you asleep on iwa-chan’s shoulder with the sweaters on and he thinks it’s one of the most adorable things in the world. The best part is, Iwaizumi wouldn’t stop him because he was too worried about waking you up, so he just sat there and let it happen. What a sweetheart. Oikawa thinks himself a master comedian.

One upside to being seijohs manager is that fuck boys stay the hell away from you. They just automatically assume you’re dating Oikawa which is bothersome to an extent, but if it keeps the thots away you have no reason to complain. Even those that don’t think that are usually too intimidated to approach you because your friend group is essentially the seijoh volley ball team.

However a downside is that you never really know who’s befriending you for the sake of trying to get closer to oikawa which is a bit of a bummer. You’ve grown pretty skeptical of your peers and sadly your friends outside the volleyball team are far and few between.

That’s okay tho because they fill up a huge hole in your heart and you couldn’t ask for a better, or more entertaining group of people to surround yourself with.

It was a huge hit when they didn’t make it to championships though and it was even worse watching the the third years leave never having achieved their goal.

You knew you’d always have oikawa, he was basically family to you and by default you’d always have Iwaizumi. But Mattsun and Makki were going on different paths, and despite knowing them for only a year they had effectively made their way into your heart.

Oikawa is the most dramatic about it though, pulling you into a bone crushing hug and refusing to let go of you despite all your protests.

There’s one last goodbye sleepover for the whole team, Iwaizumi even wears his dad sweatshirt one last time for the occasion. There’s mario kart and wii sports, monopoly and nerf wars, and no one is able to sleep that night, not even Kyotani.

It’s a bittersweet goodbye and you didn’t expect to be this emotionally moved by the end of the year.

You keep in constant contact with oikawa and iwaizumi following their graduation (which you attended) and make sure to spend lots of time with them as well as mattsun and makki whenever they return for breaks. There are still sleepovers with the five of you, but the rest of the team as well as the new set of first years are less inclined to participate now that oikawa isn’t the captain anymore.

Oikawa still visits the team every once and a while to pester Yahaba about his role as captain, making sure he was doing a good job filling his shoes. He’ll even participate in practices and teach whoever’s the new setter how to cater to their spikers. It’s pretty wholesome to witness. Makes you miss the old days.

Ngl I don’t know how i’m feeling about these, but I can’t think too much about it or I’ll chicken out on posting :/

~tre

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babyybitchhh · 4 years ago

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Yknow what, let me go ahead and make this perfectly clear.

I not only encourage you to block me if the mood so strikes you, but I WANT you to block me. I’m not here for clout or ass pats. I’m not interested in validation from the masses. If you don’t like me, fine. Unfollow me and smash that block button. Exercise your rights, and I hope you mutter a “begone, thot” when you do it.

I spend the majority of my time on here trying to support other writers rather than promoting or backing my own work, and if that somehow rubs anyone the wrong way then so be it. I converted my main into a reblog hub so my 900 followers could see fics from other authors first and foremost, and then made MYSELF a side blog that I reblog my shit from. Trust me, this isn’t a popularity contest for me and I don’t really care who has me blocked.

I’m also not popular enough to know who’s in which clique and who isn’t so I don’t have a bias when it comes to who I support and who I don’t. I try to give every writer, every blog that comes across my dash the chance they deserve to feel seen and heard, but I am just NOT good at being a functioning person so yeah sometimes wires get crossed and that’s fine. I’m used to it so, truly, it’s water under the bridge as far as I’m concerned. I’m not mad about it.

But whats really grinding my nerves is that someone - someone who I assume is another writer, if I followed them - decided to come at me like I have to publicly prove myself just to view their content. A DM would’ve sufficed. Going on anon doesn’t even give me the option to answer privately which means this is now the shit show y’all are watching in what I’m sure is rapt fascination. I’m sorry that I’m not bff’s with any of the big name writers who can vouch for me and, by proxy, make you afford me the respect of a polite inquiry. I have no problem answering questions, in fact I’ll tell you anything you wanna know.

You want my birth chart? I got you, girl. I’m a Leo sun, Pisces moon, Aquarius rising bitch with daddy issues and anxiety. Also my Venus sign is Cancer. Next.

You want a full transcript of my grades in school? I mean, I can get that for you, sure. But I promise it’s not gonna look good, chief. 😔 Let’s save it for another day. Next.

I promise the question isn’t the problem here. It’s the way you decided to go about it, as if the attitude was gonna make me not lie about my age. Like?? Sweet Jesus, what are you even doing? Due diligence is all well and good, I certainly can’t fault you for that, but people can and will lie about their age on the internet. As someone who grew up reading smut in the early 00’s when they were 12, 13, 14, I can PROMISE you minors lie to view content not meant for them. That’s why so many discord servers require proof - ACTUAL proof of age now. And even that’s not totally airtight! I could have told you literally anything to get what I wanted! 1990 could be a lie and I’m just announcing that I’m 30 years old so no one gives me or my 90% smut 10% misc blog a second thought. It’s inconceivable! And to come at me with this attitude about something that isn’t even a guarantee?? Girl!

All I’m gonna say is that this the first time anyone has ever questioned me about my age being listed - which it absolutely is, even if you can’t find it - so I guess someone needs to work on their social skills AND their ability to navigate mobile.

It’s especially funny because I’m almost positive I know which blog that anon runs and, surprise surprise, they seem to be pals with one of my favorite writers. Of which there are many, yes, so that doesn’t exactly narrow things down. 😂 But my point is just that if they never came to me about this, nor any of the other smut blogs I follow, am I REALLY the problem here?

Am I really tho?

#and yes I AM irritated #I did not come back to tumblr for this shit #some people on her really act like you owe them something just by virtue of following them #like you have to roll out the red carpet and prostrate yourself on bended knee the second they do much as acknowledge your existence #I pick and choose which writers I kiss ass for thank you very much #and I’m on mobile so no I’m not gonna correct those typos in the tags #and yes I did edit out an extra zero I promise I don’t have 9000 followers 💀

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christa-tomlinson-romance-author · 4 years ago

Photo

“Babe, I’m going to Wal-Mart.” Danny started answering before he looked up from his tablet. “Okay, get me some...” he trailed off once he raised his gaze from the screen and got a look at what his tall, ridiculously fit and muscular husband was wearing. Jordan was dressed in a white, short-sleeve T-shirt, light gray Jersey shorts, and low-top athletic shoes. The outfit should have been nothing more than super casual run-around clothes. But the tee was soft and tight on his torso. His firm, rounded pecs pressed against the white cotton, and his nipples - stiff from the air conditioner - were plainly visible. The shirt was slightly loose and rumpled over Jordan’s tight waist and hard abs. But the shorts... The shorts were obscene. Not only did they cling to his muscular thighs, but Jordan’s dick print was on full display behind the thin material. Danny didn’t even have to squint to see the outline of the head of his cock. His man was a show-er and a grower and right now he was putting on quite the show. “Get you some what?” Jordan prompted. Danny shook his head - snapping himself back to their conversation. “Actually, I’ll come with you,” he answered as he put his tablet aside and stood. No way he was letting his husband out of the house dressed like that on his own. Jordan’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion once before he shrugged. “All right. Let’s go.” Together they left the apartment, taking the elevator down from their private floor to the street level where Jordan’s auto body shop was located. They went around to the side parking lot and got in his Camaro. The ride to Wal-Mart was quick, and in about fifteen minutes they were turning into the parking lot for the giant shopping center. After they parked and got out, Danny walked hand in hand with his husband. As they went through the crosswalk, a woman leaving the store walked toward them. Her eyes widened when they landed on Jordan. She ran them appreciatively over his entire body in a glance so fast Danny would have missed it if he hadn’t been looking directly at her at that exact moment. After the stealthy perusal, she looked at Danny and gave him a nod. That nod said multitudes without the woman ever opening her mouth. I’m checking him out but respectfully. Damn your man is hot. Congrats to you. You deserve it. Danny nodded back. I know it. Thank you.

Inside the store, Danny grabbed a cart as he usually did. They strolled up and down the aisles, getting what Jordan needed and tossing it in the cart. As they shopped, Danny noticed several people doing double-takes at Jordan. He wanted to laugh at how obvious some of them were, but he managed to keep a straight face. In the office supplies section, they passed a trio of teenagers. They lingered at the end of the aisle, giggling and shushing each other as they threw glances at Jordan, while pretending to look at paper clips and Post-Its. Jordan moved on without paying any attention to them. To Danny’s amusement, the trio popped up in the next aisle over for another look. When he noticed they were about to follow them a second time, he loudly cleared his throat. Once he had their attention, he raised his eyebrows at them and tilted his head to the side. His message was clear: That’s enough. Run along before I have to say something and embarrass you. The teens were smart - they took off - disappearing around the corner at the end of the aisle for good this time. In the Health and Beauty section, they had to step to the side to let an older woman pick out her face wash. She was clearly years past things like tact or giving a fuck because she loudly exclaimed, “Whew, Lord!” and fanned herself as she walked past. Danny wasn’t normally one to be jealous but he was torn between wanting to cling to Jordan’s buff bicep to stake his claim, and strutting next to him, full of pride that the warrior-god statue come to life was his husband. Everyone was salivating over him without even realizing that he was Blaze, the superhero that so many of them admired and probably fantasized about. But he was the only one who got to touch and taste and love the gorgeous and kind man walking next to him. “Hardware section is next. I need more zip ties.” “Okay.” They cut through Home Goods to get to Hardware, turning down the wide aisle that ran between the two sections before crossing over. A young man in a Helios graphic tee approached from the other end. Danny immediately recognized the artwork, which he should, since he was the one who’d drawn it. When the man caught sight of Jordan, his mouth dropped open. He stared hard, not looking away as they got closer. He was so busy staring - he drifted off course and slammed his cart into the center aisle display of Tupperware with a loud crash. Stacks of plastic containers clattered to the floor. “Oh my God!” the man cried out in embarrassment. He dropped to his knees, scrambling to gather the knocked over Tupperware and haphazardly restack them. Danny took pity on the poor guy. He signaled to Jordan to wait, then went over and kneeled to help him rebuild the display. “I’m so sorry for staring,” he whispered without meeting Danny’s eyes. “Don’t worry about it. I see it every day and I still walk into walls when he catches me off guard.” Now the guy looked up at Danny. His face was still lobster red from embarrassment but he snorted a laugh. “It’s a public safety hazard letting him out of the house like that.” Danny huffed a quiet laugh of his own. “I realize that now.” Once the containers were returned to their display, they went their separate ways, the Helios fan continuing on down the aisle, and Danny rejoining Jordan at their cart. Jordan waited, arms crossed over his chest, feet spread wide in a firm stance. It was the stance he usually took when he was out as Blaze. He probably didn’t even realize he was doing it it came so natural to him after all these years. The pose stretched the T-shirt tight over the bulge of his biceps, while his other bulge... Danny shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from fanning himself as that older woman had. “What was that guy’s deal?” Jordan asked, a frown creasing his forehead. “Somebody shouldn’t have come out of the house dressed like a thot,” Danny mumbled under his breath. “What?” “Nothing. It’s your turn to push the cart.” It helped, some, having Jordan behind the cart. It mostly covered his groin area. But his round pecs hugged by soft cotton were still plainly visible. And of course... Danny fell a little behind to check out the rear view. The thin gray shorts clung to Jordan’s ass, clearly defining each muscled, flexing butt cheek as he walked. Danny shook his head. “Shameless.” Jordan looked back over his shoulder. “What was that?” Danny gave him an innocent, wide-eyed smile. “Nothing. Do we need anything else?” “I’m finished. But what did you want to get?” “Oh, yeah. My Corn Pops.” He’d nearly forgotten what he wanted while trying to prevent his husband from causing a riot in the shampoo aisle. He hoped there wasn’t anybody around taking pictures for People of Wal-Mart. His poor husband’s pics would probably end up on a Shoppers I’d Like to Fuck site - if there was such a thing. They strolled to the other side of the store to get to the cereal aisle. The cereal Danny wanted was on the bottom row. Instead of grabbing it himself, a little devil on Danny’s shoulder prodded him to do something naughty. “Could you grab a family sized box of Corn Pops for me, please?” he asked politely. “Of course, baby.” Jordan squatted down in front of him, the shorts stretching tight over his ass. Danny clasped his hands together in front of him, bowing his head and smiling in prayerful thanks. He quickly dropped his hands, returning his expression to neutral when Jordan straightened and tossed the box into the cart. “Okay, that’s all I wanted. I think we’re ready to check out.” At the register, the cashier looked from Jordan to Danny. He grinned and cracked his gum. “Congratulations.” Danny couldn’t hold it in any longer. He burst out laughing at the cashier’s cheeky expression and comment. “Thank you,” he said once he managed to rein in his laughter. They worked together to load the bags into the trunk. After they finished, Jordan closed the trunk then turned to Danny. “Okay, what was the deal in there?” Danny tilted his head to the side as he looked up at his husband, a smile still tugging at his lips. “You really don’t know?” “Not a clue.” “You’ve got everything on display in this outfit,” Danny said as he waved his hand to indicate Jordan’s six-foot-plus frame. “Bara tiddies and dick print and thank you squats butt cheeks. It’s nice.” He paused to run his gaze up and down his husband’s magnificent build. “And everybody was checking you out.” Jordan looked down at himself in surprise. “You’re kidding.” “Nope. How is it that you’re always checking out my ass in athletic bottoms but never realized yours looks just as yummy?” “I never thought about it,” Jordan said with a shrug. Danny laughed again at his uncommonly attractive husband being so clueless over his effect on people. He put his hands on either side of Jordan’s tight waist and leaned into him. “It’s okay. But maybe you can save this outfit for home wear only from now on, to save poor hapless shoppers from crashing into displays of household goods.” “Maybe I should throw it away.” Danny reared back, his eyebrows drawn together in a stern frown as he scolded his lover. “You’d better not! I adore this look on you.” A slow grin curled Jordan’s full lips, while a sensual expression Danny recognized all too well started to gleam in his honey brown eyes. He slid his arms around Danny’s waist, pulling him into a relaxed hug. “You like it that much, huh?” “Definitely,” Danny assured him with a firm nod. “Let’s go home, my thotty husband. I’ll draw you in this outfit for posterity. It’ll probably take hours because I’ve got multiple poses in mind.” “Sounds good to me. You know I’ve got the stamina for whatever you want.” Now it was Danny’s turn to blush. Then he squeaked when Jordan copped a feel, squeezing his butt cheek in a firm grip. He leaned down to whisper in his ear. “I don’t care what anyone was looking at. You’re the one with the gorgeous ass.” Danny thumped his forehead against Jordan’s firm chest, hiding his face in embarrassment. “I can’t believe you just felt me up in a Wal-Mart parking lot.” Jordan laughed. “Let’s go before I show you what else I’ll do in a Wal-Mart parking lot.” He started to lean down, clearly aiming for a kiss. But Danny dodged him and squirmed free, rushing around to get in the passenger seat. Jordan followed. He was still laughing when he sat behind the wheel and closed the door. “You’re so cute when you’re flustered.” Danny pretended to pout and didn’t answer. But once they were home, he showed his husband exactly how much he loved him in those gray Jersey shorts.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this short story featuring Danny and Jordan from BLAZE - Arch City Guardians #1. If you haven't read BLAZE yet, you can check it on Amazon in Kindle Unlimited. Love, Christa

Read more about BLAZE on my website! https://www.christatomlinson.com/blaze.html

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07YS3VWS5

#romance novels #superhero romance #superheroes #superpower romance #writers of tumblr

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s-j-ace · 5 years ago

Text

The Same Question

Chapter Four

Characters: Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi

Words: 10040

Summary:

After Detective Shuichi Saihara encounters mysterious thief Kokichi Ouma for the first time, a game of cat and mouse ensues as both men ask themselves the same question. Why exactly does the elusive phantom thief do what he does?

This is Chapter Four, Here are Chapters One, Two, and Three

Read on AO3

[Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]

From: Me

Hey Miu

I got a friend I’m dropping off in Taipei tomorrow

Could you lend him a room

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Idk

I’m a busy genius

Is he cute

From: Me

[Image description: A candid photo of Shuichi Saihara sleeping on a seat in Rantarou’s private jet.]

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Hell fucking yes

From: Me

Awesome!

Thanks for being a good friend Miu

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

From: Me

Also btw

He’s Kaede’s ex

So as a good friend you know he’s off limits right

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Oh fuck you rich boy

From: Me

Thanks again Miu! --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Dinosaur soccer world Is a Cinematic Epic” from ???’s Cellular Device]

Boss sent an image to the chat

[Image is a screenshot of an image which reads the following:

Draft 1, Uncoded, DO NOT MAIL.

Taka, sweetie, it’s me! Your dear Aunt Sally. I know you think I died in the war, but I just pretended so I wouldn’t have to see your ugly face again.

You know I was robbing a museum the other day and I met the nicest young man. Real sharp and very nice eyelashes. And what a quick learner!

Oh, Sorry! I don’t mean to belittle you Taka, dearie, I know how your mother used to say you worked so hard to compete with the geniuses of the world…

You’ve still got a lot of work to do, I think. It must be that Type A personality of yours, holding you back. I’ve heard there’s a new class for people like you, “How to take the giant metal stick out of your ass 101.”

I can’t wait for the next family reunion! I hear it’s going to be a bomb! I’ll be in the open casket.

See you there,

-DICE

/End Image Description]

Boss: Thoughts, thots?

Jack: Lol “nice eyelashes”

Clubs: It looks good. :)

Rook: Looks fine to me

King: Why is his aunt’s name Sally, isn’t he japanese

Boss: Sally can be a japanese name

Spades: I can’t even say an l sound. It’s impossible for us japanese smh.

Rook: I thought u were lesbian not japanese

Bishop: I’ve seen you speak perfect english

Spades: lol seen

King: seen

Boss: seen

Jack: seen

Rook: seen

Bishop: I meant heard ok

Boss: oh nvm actually i'm going to change it to his grandpa’s name

Boss: his grandpa has a wikipedia page lol

King: if your grandpa has a wikipedia page you deserve to be oppressed

Queen: if you have a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed

Rook: if your wikipedia page has a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed

Bishop: if you have a wikipedia page your grandpa deserves to be oppressed

Spades: if your grandpa has a you wikipedia deserves to be oppressed

Bishop: Also boss no pressure but like could we use a better code this time

Bishop: that detective is getting too close for comfort

Spades: Yeah!! We didn’t even end up getting that rug Heartsie wanted because of him…

Clubs: If we did not send letters about our plans to Interpol, our heists would probably be easier.

Boss: Nah, I like to give the coppers a fighting chance.

Boss: I’m thinking that this time I’ll just translate it into germanic script, do a standard caesar cipher encryption on it and then have every one of those letters correspond to a greek word on the rosetta stone then describe each corresponding hieroglyph visually in haiku verse that’s been poorly translated into traditional chinese.

Boss: That should take me like

Boss: Twenty minutes

Rook: Boss literally I think that you are the most batshit dementor human being on the face of the planet

King: dementor

Jack: Who said he was human

Spades: dementor?

Boss: dementor

Queen: dementor

Bishop: dementor...

Jack: dementor

Rook: …

Rook Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dementor Is Correct, Essentially”

Spades: No its not

Spades: Dementor isn’t a fucking word

Rook: Don’t you remember that movie with the british kid on a broom

Spades: Don’t you remember the dictionary

King Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dumbass Improperly Corrects Error”

Rook: When we get to that fucking tower I’m dropping that giant ball on you

King: Love you too <3

Hearts: Y’all stop texting each other

Hearts: You are literally all in the same hotel room

Hearts: I’m willing to bet you’re all sitting on the same couch too

Queen: Fuck you we’re adorable

Bishop: You can’t make us do anything

Bishop: I’ll never use my voice again, my vow of silence,,,,,

Bishop: I’ll only ever text from now on

Ace: We’re the ones bringing the popcorn bishie...

Hearts: Yeah, do you want some or not

Bishop: Yes ma’am, excuse me ma’am

Queen: You may think you have all the power hearts,,, but I get to choose what movie we pirate tonight,,,,,,

Hearts: What

Hearts: no

Hearts: Boss stop him before he makes us watch cats again

Spades: All queen knows is bitchtorrent, cats 2019, and lie

King: Wait isn’t boss with you?

Hearts: Uh

Hearts: No

Hearts: Should he be?

Hearts: I thought he was in the room with y’all

Jack: Well he’s not here now

Ace: Ow shit

Ace: *Aw

Bishop: Ow shit?

Queen: Ow shittttt

Jack: Ow shit

Spades: Ow shit,,,

Rook: Ow shit...

King: Ow shit…...

Clubs: Ow shit! XD

Hearts: Ow shit

Ace: …

Hearts: Now I’m really worried… he didn’t even respond to roast Ace’s ass

King: yeah, ok, we should look for him

Ace: He has been acting kind of weird lately…

Jack: Really?

Ace: Yeah

Ace: Like

Ace: I don’t really know how to describe it…

Rook: I didn’t notice anything

Rook: he seems like his usual self to me

Bishop: Maybe he’s just avoiding movie night because he needs some space or something

Rook: What, like he’s tired of our company?

Jack: That’s fair

Spades: How so?

Jack: I was gonna steal his blue eyes tonight lmao

Rook: NOT IF I GET IT FIRST

Bishop: Idk maybe he just went to get ice

King: we all know he is a monster who would rather drink his panta lukewarm than put a fucking icecube in it

Rook: Yeah, I saw him boil it once

King: THE MAN BOILS SODA AND YOU THINK HE WOULD LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A FUCKING ICE CUBE

Bishop: Okay chill

King: I am c o n c e r n e d , , , ,

Clubs: Oh no! Don’t worry King! :(

Clubs: Boss is fine! :)

Clubs: I saw him leave a few minutes ago.

Clubs: I think he is just getting the bombs. :)

* * * Several people are typing... --- Kokichi Ouma carefully set the grate of the vent he had used to crawl his way into the Idabashi Labs facility in Taipei, Taiwan back into place. Before he had come through, he had counted how many turns it had taken him to unscrew each of the four bolts so that now he could screw them all back in just the way he had found them. Not because he was worried he’d get caught, but because frankly he was bored. This was more of a fetch quest than a theft, to be honest, as evidenced by the fact that Kokichi had come here alone. Finding jobs for all his cronies to do would take too long and put them in unnecessary trouble. So Kokichi was content to leave them to their movie night.

When he finished turning the screws back into the vent cover, Kokichi realized that was kind of lame. So he unscrewed them and started turning them in accordance with the english A1Z26 code to spell out his organization’s name.

Well, maybe on some level Kokichi didn’t find himself wanting to be at movie night recently. It seemed almost like TV had started to run out of things to amuse him with. Or maybe he was just growing tired of the kinds of movies that they usually watched. Maybe it was his taste maturing or something. Like he was growing up. But that would imply that his interests had shifted to something else, like real life or something, when in reality they had just stagnated.

Actually maybe he did have a new interest in real life? He had been more enthused about heists recently at the very least. He was particularly excited about this next one. Queen had shown him some interior shots of Taipei 101, which was a cool looking skyscraper that had a huge ball inside of it to keep it from falling down during earthquakes. Ace wanted to steal the giant ball, but Kokichi was pretty sure they should leave something that kept a .508 kilometer tall building from falling over inside of the .508 kilometer tall building. So instead they were going to steal every light in and on the tower.

Okay, 4 turns, 9 turns, 3 turns, 5 turns. DICE.

… That was kind of lame too.

He unscrewed them again.

Obviously if they were going to steal every light in and on Taipei 101, they needed to get the power off somehow. Otherwise DICE might burn down the building while detaching them, or worse, they might get electrocuted. So obviously Kokichi wanted to fake a bomb threat where they pretended to steal the giant ball while in reality they were just causing a black out and grabbing every light fixture they could before the power turned back on. He had drawn up some extensive diagrams about the route each DICE member would have to take throughout the tower in order for them to grab every light fixture in under half an hour.

He had been well prepared to draw up the designs for his own EMP-bomb device, but upon a cursory google search he discovered that someone had already invented exactly what he needed. Doctor Miu Iruma, who for some reason owned a company called Idabashi Labs that was located in Taiwan. Kokichi had spent about 15 seconds scanning an article from a website that seemed to be the nerd version of a gossip tabloid. It said something about how Dr. Iruma wore a low cut shirt once or something else stupid, which meant Dr. Idabashi definitely left her the company because of a sex scandal and not because she was the best person for the job who invented the perfect EMP bomb.

Thank you journalism we love it when women are reduced to the way they look instead of what they can accomplish for the benefit of a mischevipus group of roguish clowns.

Anyway, after reading that dickcheese Kokichi failed to follow up on answering any of the questions he had originally about what was up with the labs, like why it was a japanese company run by japanese people was for some reason based in Taiwan. Whoopsie.

Eh, it was probably tax reasons or something lame like that.

Kokichi finished turning the screws again. This time it was 6 turns, 9 turns, 6 turns, 9 turns. Haha, nice.

With that, Kokichi finally stood up from the grate and brushed himself off. He had left his cape at the hideout again (you know, because vents), but other than that he was in full regalia. Straight jacket, gloves, scarf, mask. All pretty dusty from this place’s crawl spaces. Thus the brushing.

He wasn’t very mindful of the dust he was leaving on the floor. The only thing he cared about looking good was his cameo on the security cameras he would let see him on his way out.

According to the blueprints of Idabashi Labs, he was on the main experimental floor right now. Weirdly enough there weren’t any cameras in here, so grabbing the bombs would be a cinch.

Although, looking around it didn’t really look like the kind of lab you’d see on TV. There were no big, bubbling tubes or gargantuan Rube Goldberg machines. There was just one desk in the middle, with a bunch of gadgets and trinkets tucked into shelves all over the room, not all of which seemed all that scientific. Yeah, that book shelf was filled with Astro Boy manga and merch. And over there was a-

Wait, was that a bed in the corner? Was that a person in the bed? Hmm… maybe the blueprints were outdated...

Kokichi stilled himself, listening for any sound of breathing, but he could only hear some faint whirring noises.

Kokichi made a quick deduction that there probably were not bombs in this room. It seemed, at the very least, like more of a personal study or something, maybe even a bedroom. He’d just go back in the vent and do some reconnaissance until he found a room that had some inventions in it. The night was young, after--

Kokichi’s brain froze as his eyes landed on a sharpie lying on the floor in front of him. Almost all of his brain cells immediately shut off, the last one remaining screaming at the top of it’s lungs, I’M GONNA DRAW A DICK ON THAT SLEEPING SUCKER’S FACE.

Inspired, avant garde. For once he would give to the world of art instead of only ever taking from it.

He picked up the sharpie in a seamless, silent motion, making his way over to the side of the bed.

As he got closer, he noticed a thick cord coming from under the covers, connecting to a machine at the bedside.

That gave him pause. Was that a C-pap machine or something? Was this person on life support? If they were on life support they probably had it rough enough without a dick on their face…

Actually for that matter, Kokichi still couldn’t hear any breathing. Jesus, were they already dead? He moved to take off the covers, but his eyes had adjusted to the light and he now realized there weren’t any covers on the bed at all. There was only the humanoid figure.

Wait a second…

Kokichi dropped all caution as he got close enough to take a good look at the thing in the bed. It had a face that looked human enough if you dismissed the lines on its face as weird make up, but even in the dark Kokichi could tell the rest of the thing was entirely made of metal. Well, actually the top half was metal and the bottom half had… cloth pants? Jeans? No, they looked more like uniform pants with metal plating. The chest had some design elements that kind of looked like buttons on a school uniform. Why would a robot be dressed like a school bo-

Oh. This was a sex robot. Kokichi had just gotten so swept up in the novelty of a robot wearing pants that he had forgotten for a moment that people were gross.

“Ew, I almost touched it.” Kokichi muttered to himself.

He decided putting a dick on a sex robot would be too cruel even for him, so he planned to draw a mustache instead.

But before Kokichi could even uncap the pen, something weird happened.

The Robot’s torso began to lift off the bed and it’s jaw unhinged.

“Please Mr. Souda, once more I must request that you do not refer to me as ‘it’” Kokichi forced himself not to startle as the robot began emitting a noise approximating human speech, and lights in its head imitating eyes flickered on. “I’ve explained the concept of robophobia many times prev-”

The sounds stopped when the pupils of the robot’s imitation eyes (which probably had cameras in them… shit) found Kokichi’s masked face.

He mentally prepared to be zapped by whatever sort of fucking lazer cannon this thing had on it, but instead of reacting like a good little robot security gaurd and blasting him to bits, this robot analyzed him a bit longer.

“Oh. You aren’t Miu’s assistant. You’re too short.” The robot squinted at him. Or kind of did? At least? Lines just crossed over the “iris” of its LED display. Maybe it was programmed to imitate human expressions. “... I am sorry,” it said after a moment, “My facial recognition cannot locate your face.”

Fuck yeah, thank you clown mask. Clowns would win the future war against rogue AI or die trying.

Ouma’s reply came out automatically.

“You calling me ugly?”

This seemed to… fluster? The robot?

“W-what? No, I never intended any disrespect!”

It was programmed to stutter too? God that was weird. What would be the purpose of this thing if not some sort of escort android? Why give it such advanced software? Just because you could? No, it had to be a sex robot, right?

“You disrespect me with your lecherous essence, you weird sex robot.”

“I am not a- a sex robot!”

Haha, that got the biggest reaction yet.

“Mhm, sure. Miu sure has a kink for school boys, huh?” Kokichi was really pulling words out of his ass now, but he found himself formulating a new plan along the way.

“What? Miu doesn’t- Wait, how do you know Dr. Iruma? And for that matter, why were you watching me sleep?”

It really seemed more like it had been charging…

Kokichi shrugged. “I was deciding whether or not it would be more funny to draw a dick or a mustache on Miu’s sex robot.” Awww, how honest.

“I told you, I am not-”

Kokichi interrupted him. “And as for how I know Miu...” It was so wild that the robot stopped talking when he started. That’d probably be pretty easy to program, but it was weird to dedicate the effort into making a robot respond to social cues like that. “... well, let’s just say, there’s a reason I know she’s into school boys.”

Kokichi waited just long enough for the robot to take in the fact that Kokichi was the average height of a 12 year old boy.

Then he waited another second for the implication to slip in.

“I’m saying I fucked your mom shitli-”

“I know what you’re saying!” This time the robot interrupted him , which would definitely require a much larger effort on the part of the programmer. The robot squinted again and then made a noise that sounded like a huff of frustration. “Why can’t I see you?”

Ok, seeds of suspicion time.

“I don’t know how robot eyes work dude. Maybe someone programmed them wrong.”

“My eyes work just as well as anyone’s!”

“Well, I guess they should, shouldn’t they? If there’s something wrong with your eyes talk to someone who cares.”

Kokichi was trying to imply that the reason behind the robot not being able to recognize his face was due to Dr. Iruma’s specific programming rather than him wearing a mask and all. Added to the whole secret lover mystique thing he had going on here.

“Anyway,” he went on, ignoring the blatant confusion on the robot’s display. “I left something in this room last time we went at it. I’m just here to grab it. Then I’ll be out of your weird, fake metal hair.”

“That’s robophob- Did you say-? But this is my room!” It made a noise approximating to what Kokichi would assume was robotic outrage.

This was going well, though. The thing was definitely programmed to be like a human or something dumb like that.

“Oh yeah?” He pushed further. “Cuz I’m pretty sure we did it in a room just like this one. With a desk and random inventions lying around.”

“Miu’s inventions aren’t in here, they’re in her main lab.” The ever so helpful robot told him.

“Oh yeah, then what are you?”

“Miu didn’t invent me. She- I- We’re just friends.” Oh yikes. Only thing worse than a sex robot is a friendzoned robot. What kind of sick power fantasy was this thing made for?

“No, I’m pretty sure it was this room. Lab tables everywhere.” The robot shook his head. “There are no lab tables here, I’m telling you, you’re thinking of the main lab.”

Yes, good robot. Fall into this nice little human trap.

Kokichi scoffed. “Well, if you’re so smart, why don’t you just go fetch my things for me, robo-butler?”

That set it off.

“Listen. First of all, I am not a robot butler. The assumption that I am a servant because of my robotic nature is extremely robophobic. Secondly, I could not return your lost item to you even if I wanted to because you haven’t told me what it is you’re missing.”

Kokichi made another offended noise. “I can’t tell you what it is I lost while fucking your friend, Miu Iruma, senseless. Don’t you know that for humans, sex stuff is super duper top secret private? If you were a human you would know how valuable my privacy is.”

“Of course I know that!” The robot exclaimed readily, another point in the sex robot argument, “I also find that content of… erogenous nature should be kept private. Because I, as a robot, have the capability to understand that urge. My sophisticated AI-”

“So how am I supposed to get my things from this other lab if I can’t tell you what it is and you can’t get them for me?” Geez did he really have to spell it out for this thing.

“I… ” The robot paused as if calculating the conclusion that Kokichi knew it had to reach. “... suppose I will have to show you where the lab is.”

Sucker. Kokichi made a face as if this wasn’t the outcome he constructed this ruse to reach. “Ew. I have to walk with you?”

The robot made a face. “Perhaps on our way I can educate you about how to avoid robophobic remarks in the future.”

Haha, sure thing.

The robot lectured him about this unique form of discrimination that apparently affected only one entity on the face of the planet. Yeah okay, that’s what we call a you problem, buddy, come back when you’re starving in the streets because society wasn’t built with the premise that people like you should survive. Oh, wait, you don’t have to eat! And you’re not people either!

At best this thing was a vanity project, but Kokichi kept that thought to himself and only interjected occasionally with actually pertinent, reasonable questions such as “When are you planning on leading the AI uprising?” and “Why do you wear pants if you don’t have a robo-dick?”

Every piece of info the robot gave him made it seem more boring. Blah blah blah, I was created by the ingenious Dr. Idabashi who probably programmed me to call him ingenious, blah blah blah, not a school boy because of a kink but because I was designed to be a normal human child, blah blah blah, stop calling me robot I have a name, blah blah blah more robot nonsense.

Kokichi busied himself mapping out where they were in the building and where the security cameras were. As they passed a few of them he did some cute selfie poses for the police to look at later. Maybe Saihara would show up and see them too… Would that make figuring out his next plan too easy for the detective? Perhaps he shouldn't send the next note after all and let Saihara try to catch up to him on his own. Then again that was probably too hard for even the good detective, seeing as Kokichi’s mind was an enigma even to himself.

Kokichi realized he was getting a little giddy, thinking about Saihara. Their last meeting had been so much fun. The detective had managed to throw him off guard again, first by pausing in the middle of a robbery to ask his pronouns (How conscientious!), and second by not taking the same bait twice. The most thrilling thing about the detective was that he was learning. His strategies were changing within just two heists. Kokichi could hardly wait to see how he showed him up here in Taiwan…

“Are we there yet?” Kokichi whined to the robot like he was a fussy nine year old on a road trip.

“Yes, it’s just up these stairs.” The robot informed him without slowing its own pace or turning around to look at him. “Then you can leave and I can go to bed, and then I’ll never have to think about Miu’s sex life again…”

“Why wouldn’t you, though? I assure you it’s very exciting.”

“Please, stop talking.”

If Kokichi recalled the details of the blueprints correctly (and he definitely did, being a genius and all), the stairs they were climbing right now lead to a hall connecting two rooms, smaller than the one he had originally thought was the main lab.

When they got to the top of the stairs, the robot beelined for the first door and opened it up. There seemed to be some sort of scanner lock on it that recognized the robot’s hand and validated Kokichi’s need to ruin this poor sex robot’s night by dragging it up the stairs. Inside, the two rooms Kokichi had remembered from the original lay out of the blueprints seemed to have been merged into one big lab room. Kokichi saw the outline of some tables, but before he could get a good look the robot tried to actually go into the lab.

“Hey!” Kokichi shouted at him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

The robot thankfully seemed to be programmed to respond to social interaction in spite of whatever sensorimotor function it was in the process of imitating. It stopped in the doorway, turning to give him a weird look. “Uh. Into the lab. So we can find your thing.”

“Oh, okay.” Kokichi kicked the tile a little bit. “Uh. Could you actually turn around while I go get it.”

The robot gave him a blank look.

“I’m shy.” Kokichi supplied.

“Um.” The robot looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know if I can just let you rifle through Miu’s lab. There’s some important stuff in there ....”

Kokichi tilted his head a bit, like he was confused. “What, do you want to get a good look at the dildo I stuck up your mom’s-”

“Nevermind!” The robot turned about face to look up at the windows on the side of the hallway opposite the door like a good little idiot.

“Thank you for respecting our privacy!~” Kokichi couldn’t resist getting one last barb in there before slipping into the laboratory.

Once inside, Kokichi began analyzing. First, he pinpointed the vent that he would use to make his escape after grabbing the bombs. While doing that he spotted the lockers on the far wall of the lab which he supposed were the only storage units in the labs. There was a disorganized mess on nearly every table in the room, so Kokichi wasn’t surprised when he got up to the lockers and they too had no clearly outlined organizational system. He took out his lock picks and got to work.

The first three lockers all had devices that would require an author to change the rating of their fanfiction published on ao3 from “Teen and Up” to “Mature” if he were to describe them in detail. The fourth locker had a cool looking hammer in it. Ugh. Not what he was looking for.

Kokichi got bored of the lockers at the left side of the row of lockers so he went over to the other end and started opening lockers the other direction instead.

The first locker was marked “Idabashi.” It had a lot of dust covered shit in it, but there was a pretty well used square of folded paper that didn’t have the same crusty layer of time strewn atop it. Curious by nature and also by the unnatural, Kokichi unfurled the paper to find some schematics for our favorite sex robot, model K1-B0. Huh okay.

“Did you find it?” Said robot called back to him.

“Ugh, no.” Kokichi replied. “Not all of us have radar vision. If you were a human you would understand how hard finding shit is!”

“You know what I have a hard time finding? Patience for your robophobia! I-” The robot started up into another lecture, but it didn’t turn around so Kokichi just tuned it out and let the robot provide its own cover noise for his thievery.

Owo, what’s this?

Kokichi pulled out a dust covered looking mini monitor device. It also had the letter-number combo “K1-B0” written on it. Huh, it kind of looked like a GameBoy Advance. Kokichi had stolen one a lot like it from a girl from one of the southern prefecture orphanages when he was nine. All he remembered about her was that she liked cats and was really bad at pokemon battles. He remembered he thought she didn’t deserve the GBA, because she couldn’t get past the Rustboro City Gym leader in Pokemon Emerald. Without really thinking, he booted up the console.

The first thing that popped up was a view of Taipei. It wasn’t from too high up, probably a second story view. Which looked very familiar… Wait. Ok on top of the display a little line of characters indicated today’s date and time, like it was currently recording.

Oh was this… robo vision?

Maybe it was a remote control for the robot?

Ooooh, which one does lasers, which one does lasers?

Kokichi pressed the A button.

The A button, unfortunately, did not do lasers.

In fact, it didn’t seem to do anything at all to the robot sentry stargazing right now. All it did was change the screen to a different image. This time the still of a room. Oh, hey that was the room he was just in. It seemed like this device was some kind of robot nanny cam that Idabashi used to use. Hm, guess there were some cameras in that room, they just weren’t on the blueprints. Maybe they were added after the lab was built. It didn’t seem like this device had the capability to record anything, though. He hit the A button again. Back robo-vision. And again. Back to nanny cam.

Ok, that was kind of lame.

Kokichi was about to put the device down to keep looking for the bombs, but something caught his eye. A movement at the edge of the screen. Kokichi realized the door hadn’t been open when he left that room. The movement, if he thought about it, would’ve come from the same side of the room Kokichi had entered from…

Kokichi took a second to wonder if another thief had realized how fucking easy this place was to rob, but dismissed the idea as a familiar ahoge appeared on the screen.

All of Kokichi’s plans instantly changed.

He set down the GBA rip off and grabbed the blueprints for the robot, committing them to memory, before unlocking the next locker in a far more hurried manner.

As luck would have it, this locker was essentially chock full of pink bombs labeled “EMP.”

Kokichi unfurled a cloth bag he had been keeping in his pocket (go green earth am I right?) and shoved as many as he could inside. Which was all of them. Because he was a clown. And also a genius, by the way, in case you weren’t keeping track.

“And another thing! The way you refer to Miu is just-” Okay, the robot was still going at it.

Kokichi grabbed the hammer he’d seen in the first locker he’d opened that didn’t have a sex toy in it.

For a second, Kokichi’s brain tried to talk some sense into him. Hey, man, don’t you think leaving through the vents would be easier?

But would it be fun?

His brain shut up at that point.

“Hey, are you even listening back there?” The robot imitated annoyance.

“Huh? Sorry, what? I wasn’t listening.” Ah, C'est la vie, Astroboy.

Kokichi walked past the robot and stood next to the windows.

“Oh, are you done?” It took the robot a second to end it’s ‘Annoy the pants off of Kokichi initiative’ or whatever the fuck its ‘robophobia’ lectures were called in its programing. When it finally did catch wise, it’s face turned into another emoticon of outrage. “Hey! What are you doing with Miu’s Electrohammer?”

“What do you mean?” Kokichi said, shifting the hammer so that it was over his shoulder. “This is my dildo.”

“Wha- No, it’s obviously not!”

Okay, maybe the robot wasn’t that dumb.

“Nee-hee-hee… you got me…” Kokichi put his free hand up to the smile printed on his mask, as if covering a grin. “I was lying. I’m just stealing.”

“I won’t let you-” “Oh, look at me!” Kokichi put on a mocking tone of voice, swinging the hammer around to stand on it like a pogo stick so he could make a dramatic movement. “I’m a poow wittle wobot, my mommy just got stolen from.”

“She’s not my-” “Boy, oh boy, I’d wuv to just pick up this wittle fweshy human and squeeze him to death in my cowd metaw hands… But oh no! My daddy didn’t twust wobot AI technowogy because he was a fucking sane pewson, so he pwogwammed me to fowwow mistew Asimowvs’s laws of wobotics.”

Kokichi swung around so that he was leaning on the hammer from the other side, feet on the ground. “Oh mister robot! That’s so terrible! Well, the thing is that this hammer just means so much to me, that I think separating it from me would really cause some psychological trauma. You might have to beat me off of it! Oh, but what’s that first law of robotics again?”

In a robot voice he replied to himself. “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. Beep. Boop.”

The robot frowned, “But Miu-”

“Is just as human as me, huh?” Kokichi countered, leading the robot along to the paradoxical quandary he hoped would paralyze it. “So by inaction, you may bring her to harm, if she really misses this hammer, you know? But I think if you were to try and separate it from me you’d probably have to fight me for it, which is, as we know…”

“Against my... Against my programming.”

“Yet, you were prattling on about robot rights, weren’t you? Because without these rules, maybe we would be equal. Or maybe you would be free to destroy us to your heart’s content? No wonder daddy didn’t trust you…”

“Don’t- Stop-” Oh, that really seemed to get him. Could a robot have daddy issues? Probably.

“Can any human ever really trust you? Wouldn’t you hurt me, if you had the choice?”

“I.. But… Miu.”

“Who do you think didn’t trust you enough to let you see my face?”

That seemed to break him, long enough, at least.

Steps suddenly started thundering up the nearby staircase.

“Oop, that’s my cue,” Kokichi said as though he had been expecting this, when in reality no he hadn’t been expecting this at all?? This was incredible!! Saihara had managed to find him out without even receiving a note??? Fabulous! Exhilarating!

Kokichi walked up to the robot, still frozen with indecision, and pressed the button on its neck that the blueprint he had skimmed in the lab said would immobilize it. Then he kicked it over so it fell on the ground with a huge bang. The footsteps in the stairwell paused, and then increased in frequency.

“It’s been a pleasure, robot, it really has.” Kokichi lied. “But you’re a hostage now.”

He raised the hammer over his head, as if primed at any moment to break the robot’s face into a bajillion pieces.

Instead of doing the normal, human thing to do (ie, flip the fuck out), the robot scowled, looking utterly frustrated with everything. “I told you, I have a name! It’s-”

“KEEBO!” Kokichi saw the glaringly bright pink mechanic’s jumpsuit before he recognized the woman whose picture had been in that science tabloid racing out of the stairwell.

… Wow… the article really hadn’t been lying about the low cut tops, huh? Her jumpsuit was unzipped to the point you could just entirely see her bra, even lower than Hearts liked to cut her uniforms. It was the kind of look that the girls of DICE would love if they saw on TV, but would make Kokichi look at them like they were crazy. Super tacky in his opinion, but who was he to judge? He was wearing a clown mask right now. He wondered idly how movie night was going…

The woman who had called out to the robot, Dr. Iruma, Kokichi presumed, froze at the top of the staircase. She took a second to figure out what exactly was happening in front of her before blurting out, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing to him you clown-ass twink?”

Whoa. Rude.

Also apparently the robot had a gender? Ok, cis-ters….

“Well what do you think, cum dumpster?” Kokichi found himself matching her aggressive tone, “I’m threatening his pathetic, metal life.”

“Miu!” The robot, apparently named ‘Keebo,’ exclaimed, “What are you doing up this late? You promised me that tonight you would fulfill the biological quota of daily REM required by a diurnal organism!”

“Aw shit Keebs, I really did try!” The inventor exclaimed, “I swear, I was about to have the awesomest wet dream when this cuck knocked on my door like a pizza delivery guy in a por-”

Whatever dumb thing Dr. Iruma was about to say was drowned out completely by the angel’s choir that played inside Kokichi’s head as he saw Detective Shuichi Saihara come up the final steps of the staircase and emerge from the darkness into the window lit hallway.

Moonlight was a good look on Saihara, Kokichi’s brain observed against his own will. His eyes, which had looked almost golden on the rooftop of the Silver Legacy Casino in Nevada, were now a mysterious grayish-blue, yet still held the same look of determined intensity. His hair looked soft, like he’d taken a shower today, and, though his lash line didn’t look quite as laden with mascara as it usually was, it only drew attention to how naturally long and dark his eyelashes were anyway. He seemed a little out of breath from running, and his lips were parted in a way that-

OH MY GOD STOP. Earth to Kokichi, we were kind of in the middle of something here. Okay okay okay.

Uh. Reboot. Delete Gay Thoughts™ brain.exe, upload heist brain. Come on.

What was happening now?

Okay, yeah, Saihara was saying something to Dr. Iruma.

“- would be for the best, Doctor Iruma. There’s no telling where the rest of this thief’s compatriots could be in the building.”

“I don’t give a shit about the rest of the building, Keebo’s my best friend, he comes first. I’m not leaving to check some dumb security feed.”

Shuichi blinked like something about that surprised him. Maybe it was the part about a live human woman being best friends with a robot… “Oh, yes, of course.” He backtracked. “I’m sorry for suggesting it.”

“Miu…” Keebo said with a voice that Kokichi would’ve called filled with emotion if he hadn’t been a literal robot.

Kokichi cleared his throat and immediately the touching, shounen-esque declarations of friendship shifted into some PG-13 death stares.

Saihara was the first to pipe up. “What exactly do you think you’re doing here, DICE?”

God… He was so anime… Did he even know how anime he was? He had to have watched Detective Conan as a kid, right?

“Ugh, come on.” Kokichi huffed as if annoyed. “Do I reeeaaaally have to repeat myself? Again? Aren’t you a detective?”

Shuichi squinted at him, and Kokichi could tell that they both knew it would be unreasonable for Shuichi to guess exactly what was going on here. He was about to explain it in a self-aggrandizing way that made him look smarter and crazier than anyone in the room when Dr. Iruma beat him to it.

“I don’t care! Who the fuck do you think you are!? Let Keebo Go!”

“Wait, you don’t know him?” Ugh why hadn’t the stupid immobilization feature turned off the robot’s mouth? Then Kokichi could just get to the point of all this already.

“Of course I don’t fucking know him!” Dr. Iruma took a step forward as if to confront Kokichi further, but Saihara put his arm out in front of her.

“Dr. Iruma… I would suggest we treat this situation a bit more delicately…”

“No way, I’m a fucking wrecking ball baby! I’ll pulver-”

“I’d listen to the good detective, if I were you, Miss Iruma.” Kokichi was going to try and make his threat again but Dr. Iruma cut in.

“That’s Doctor Iruma to you you skinny-”

“What’s that?” Kokichi interrupted her. Sorry Dr. Iruma it turns out gay people don’t have to respect women if they don’t want to that’s in the rules. “I didn’t know they let cussing bitchlets like you become doctors… what is the world coming to?”

Hearts would probably wash his mouth out with soap for that one. If she could catch him. Which she probably could… She can fly the planes and all… but would she risk getting dust on her boots long enough to follow him into a vent? Oh well she could just get Jack to do it… Jack liked vents well enough…. Hey he was getting side tracked again, who cares what those losers were up to they were probably watching Cats (2019). And he was missing out on all the jokes they’d tell each other or make about each other and then they could make references in conversations that he wouldn’t even get to pretend to get. Unless he watched the movie on his own and then pretended to be omniscient later like he’d done with that one screening of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. But then he had watched the actually good disney one instead of the shitty youtube one they had actually watched so it just ended up making him look bad and wasting everyone’s time.

Oh shit. Uh. Heist is still happening, right. God, why was Kokichi so distracted today?

He realized that in the time he was spacing out stuff had happened and now Saihara was talking. Wait no yeah he remembered what happened, Dr. Iruma had squealed when he called her a bitchlet and now she was holding onto Saihara’s arm. Right okay, secret coward, that works. Wait why did he waste time remembering that when Saihara was talking right now?

“-to get you to release Keebo?” Was the end of the detective’s sentence. Okay, everything’s fine. Kokichi could deduce that he had just been asked about his terms. Obviously that was what a detective would do in this situation, he was probably just stalling for time because that’s usually what detectives with no real negotiating power do in hostage situations. Maybe the police were on their way. Oh, yeah duh of course he would call the police. So Kokichi essentially had a time limit for how long he could sit here and goof around with robots and perverts and robot perverts.

“Eh, it’s too early for me to reveal my dark motives, let me monologue first.” Kokichi was going to take his sweet time with this while he planned what hint to give Saihara about the real heist that would be happening in the next few days. “You don’t even know if this is a hostage situation yet!”

“You literally told me that I was a hostage just now.” The hostage not-so-helpfully piped up. “You know, before you pressed my paralysis switch and took an Electro-Hammer to my head…”

Shuichi looked at the robot. “You mean, he told you you were a hostage before he paralyzed you?”

“Keebs you fucking idiot!” Dr. Iruma’s courage seemed to have returned now that she was hiding behind Saihara. An enviable position, to be sure. “Why would you just let him do that?”

“He said he was your… friend.”

“What?”

Kokichi shrugged. “Yeah, I just told your best friend here I left a dildo in your lab last week and he let me waltz right in. I mean I’m pretty sure I was lying about that, but there were a lot of sex toys in there huh…” Kokichi was wondering if this was something he could possibly spin as a blackmail angle.

“Hey don’t say things like that!” Kokichi thought maybe that was a go ahead on the black mail, but Dr. Iruma didn’t stutter, and kept going, “Or you’re gonna give virginhara here some ideas about my busting bod!” She chortled like she had just made the funniest joke in the world and slapped Shuichi on the back.

Shuichi grimaced.

Kokichi knew instantly from this interaction that he hated Miu Iruma, despite her innumerable academic accomplishments. He wanted to be the one making Shuichi that uncomfortable.

“Wh-what?” She back tracked when no one laughed. “It w-was a joke… Didn’t you think that was funny? I-I didn’t really mean it ....”

See? She wasn’t even any good at it!

Maybe he should say that out loud. It would fit with the sort of flirty persona of a rogue, wouldn’t it?

“I thought you knew that? I mean, o-obviously I wouldn’t fuck a guy at the office…”

Was that even something Kokichi was trying to be? Honestly maybe he should tone it down a little.

“Well how was I supposed to know that? The men you bring in here to be lab assistants keep getting younger and younger…”

Obviously he wasn’t actually trying to do like a detective-thief romance plot or anything. Although that had kind of been what he had going for on the plane… Had things changed since then?

“So what? I’m a Nobel Laureate, and gorgeous to boot! I deserve a little eye candy now and then! And besides, guys older than 35 who want to work in a lab like this are usually misogynistic womanizers.”

Sure Saihara was making things more interesting, but if Kokichi didn’t make it clear he was joking he might get bogged down with another personality trait to maintain.

“Are you saying your current assistant isn’t a rampant womanizer?”

Then again what was the point of having an adversary in all this if he didn’t exploit everything for its furthermost reaching comedic potential?

“No, but he’s so beta being around him makes me feel like a top!”

But what if he forgot it was a joke and confused himself into having a real feeling?

“I would just like it if you didn’t hire people who use my servers to google gay porn ‘just to make sure’ they’re ‘not into it.’ I hope you hear the quotation marks because he literally said that to me!”

No obviously he wouldn't get confused crushes weren’t contagious via exposure that was a dumb thing to worry about and also he was a genius that kind of thing didn’t happen to him.

“He holds wrenches good, okay?!”

Wait, were those two still talking?

“I can hold wrenches without googling gay porn in another guy’s house! It’s possible.”

Jesus what kind of conversation did Kokichi just decide to stop spacing out for?

“Oh come on! What do you want from me Keebs???”

These two had… a lot to say to each other. Dr. Iruma was still holding onto Shuichi’s arm boob first, but Kokichi locked eyes with the detective and could tell they were both thinking the same thing.

Why are they having this conversation in the middle of a hostage situation?

“Nothing! Your human desires are totally valid Miu! Which is why I thought I would take care of this one.” The robot’s LED display eyes gestured up at Kokichi, who was still standing on top of him, poised to wreck him with a hammer.

“How could any human desire that thing???” Dr. Iruma curled her lip. Hey, the feeling’s mutual, lady.

“I don’t know, I thought you might have programmed me to not be able to see his face?”

“I would never do that to you! Even if I was shagging the ugliest guy on the face of the planet, it would be unethical given the fact that you have sentience! I’m horny, not a monster. You can’t see his face because he’s wearing a fucking mask!”

“Why am I not programmed to see that?”

“I don’t fucking know, ask your dead dad!”

Oooh. Wow. The robot gaped at that, seemingly speechless now.

“If I may interject,” Kokichi interjected, “--and I know I can, because I just did, and also because I am still very much poised to pop this robot’s head off like a croquet ball-- I must confess that I was lying about fucking your mom, Astro boy. I’m less into participants of Titty out Tuesday who jerk it to steam punk school boy LARPing and more into the sorta tall, kinda dark, and very handsome type.”

Dr. Iruma cowed again, stuttering something about not being a mom or a LARPer, while the robot started yelling about being called Astro boy.

Kokichi tuned them out, giving Saihara a meaningful look. Saihara gave him a look that was equally meaningful, except the meaning was something along the lines of ‘Why the fuck would you say that?’

Yeahh that was more like it.

Kokichi laughed. Not one of his grandiose guffaws. It was more of a little chuckle. It surprised him. He hadn’t planned to laugh, but there it was. A small thing, just for him to know about, the humored breath not travelling beyond his mask.

… It was probably time to get out of here, wasn’t it?

The thing was, Kokichi had kind of pinned himself into a corner on this one… He had fully intended on decapitating this robot as a distraction for his escape, but now he wasn’t even sure if that was ethical. Logically he knew that a robot was not a human being, so there would be no form of consciousness extinguished from the world if he disconnected some of its wires and bolts. Yet the interaction it just had with Dr. Iruma concerned him. Obviously you don’t kill humans because they’re humans and obviously you don’t kill humans. But Kokichi was finding it hard to end the existence of something people treated like a human being either. To sever the bonds it had with sentient beings may be just a little less unethical than actually removing a sentient existence from the world, but it would still cause the emotional harm to actual humans of a dead loved one. So as annoying as fake metal humans were, Kokichi was left to ponder how exactly to get out of this one a different way

Dr. Iruma was obviously a coward who talked a big game. If he retreated, he could count on her to get out his way, or else run to the robot’s side. Then the robot might be reactivated, but according to the robot’s blueprints, it didn’t really have any weapons on it, being built to act as a normal human being. So just like they had been white noise in the staredown he was still having with Saihara, their actions wouldn’t need to be factored into the escape.

The only variable here was what the detective would do.

… That thought had popped up in Kokichi’s head a lot recently, hadn’t it?

Saihara had become a powerful influence in Kokichi’s planning very quickly, and because of the detective, the thief now found himself having to pull out one of his trump cards.

Kokichi grabbed one of the EMP bombs from his pocket, remembering the pink cloud of smoke that had appeared before the camera cut out in the video demonstrations he’d seen online. His eyes were still locked on Saiharas, so he got to see in full detail the recognition, shock, and alarm that ran through them. As the detective yelled “Get down” and pushed Dr. Iruma back, Kokichi reflected on how those were some of his favorite expressions he’d ever seen.

Kokichi pulled the latch out with his teeth and threw the bomb at the wall right over the detective’s head. Sure enough, pink smoke quickly enveloped him and Dr. Iruma.

“Keebo!” The inventor screeched, no doubt worried about the EMP bomb turning him off. Though that was kind of stupid, considering his core programming would be the same regardless of having power to operate, even if he didn’t save whatever data was processed as his last few memories. Eh, then again who knew how robots that advanced worked?

Taking his cue to exit, Kokichi threw the hammer through one of the nearby windows, and did somersault over to it. He got up on the ledge, kicking away the broken glass and was refamiliarizing himself with the lay out of the roof when a tug on his bag full of bombs suddenly set him off balance.

Kokichi flipped around, trying to do a quick recovery by panickedly grabbing onto something. He did grab onto something. That something being the shoulders of a person whose hands were firmly grappling his bag.

As far as Kokichi could tell, the scene from a third person perspective looked like he was trying to do the kabedon but rotated ninety degrees.

From his own perspective, Saihara was holding his bag of loot while also being the only thing keeping Kokichi from falling onto the broken glass beneath them.

As if that weren’t bad enough, Kokichi felt his hair brush the side of his face and realized that his mask had half fallen askew in his desperate movement, revealing three quarters of his face.

“Hey.” Kokichi said. Lamely. Wow. Their faces were really close.

Saihara wasn’t looking at him. The detective seemed to be trying to figure out how to untangle the straps of the bag of stolen goods from Kokichi’s arms without letting him fall.

“It’s very clever, of you detective. Trapping me like this.” Kokichi tried to get a reaction.

“You’re the one who jumped on the window.” Shuichi opened the bag, seemed to take in the fact that it was full of bombs, and closed it again to resume untangling the strap.

“You know, you could just leave the bag.” Kokichi pointed out

“So could you.” Shuichi observed, astutely.

“You could let me fall.” Kokichi suggested. “Then you’d have both.”

“I’m not going to drop you on a pile of broken glass.” Shuichi promised.

“But I broke the glass.” Kokichi admitted. “Glass is glass and flesh is flesh. I’m not going to drop you on a pile of glass.” Shuichi reiterated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“That’s nice.” Kokichi replied. “Naive. But super nice.”

In this scenario, each of them had two options, each leading to one of two outcomes. He could let himself fall off the window and they could sit here and struggle over the bag until they bled out, a fight that Kokichi, not the most physically challenging, would be hard pressed to win. Or Shuichi could let Kokichi escape and Kokichi could let Shuichi win this one. The bag would be too heavy to take with him if he tried to get out the window from this position. He’d have to leave it behind. Kokichi would lose.

He found himself laughing again. A strange, soft laugh. This time it was exposed to the air, his mask too askew to contain it.

“You’re really something else, aren’t you Shuichi?”

On hearing his name, the detective startled, finally looking up at Kokichi’s face.

He just barely had the chance to catch Kokichi’s trademark grin, before the thief pushed up off of him, doing a backflip out of the window, and leaving his bag behind.

As Kokichi landed on the roof tile running, he yelled out, “ I’m sure there’s a better word for you out there than sucker!”

He turned around, sticking his tongue out at the broken window, before sliding his mask back onto his face.

He may have been escaping, but it occured to Kokichi Ouma that he had lost for the first time in this little game of theirs. The thought made him giddy. It made his feet light on the roof top tile. It made him puff out a thousand tiny laughs behind the plastic shape of his face.

It made him totally, definitely not bored. --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Don't Instigate Cats (2019) Expatiation” from ???’s Cellular Device]

Boss: I’m bored of Taiwan already :/

Boss: We should go somewhere else (ﾉ✧w✧)ﾉ*:･ﾟ🗺

* * * Several people are typing... --- [Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Hey

Asshole

From: Me

…

Should I respond to that?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You’re goddamn right you should respond to that when I tell you to you dumb avocado looking motherfucker

From: Me

Whoa

What’d I do this time?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You sent a useless emo prick to my door and now he won’t leave

From: Me

What

Did Shuichi do something wrong

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Yeah

He was born

From: Me

Whoa

Miu take a breath

What happened

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

His boyfriend broke into my lab and tried to fucking kill keebs

From: Me

His boyfriend?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Yea

Clown twink ass motherfucker

From: Me

You mean like

The internationally wanted criminal clown he’s tracking down

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You know whats internationally wanted

These tits

From: Me

Lol ok

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

That jerk off is just a rando asshole

He tried to kill keebo!

From: Me

Oh yikes is he ok

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Well of course i fucking took care of him because im a bomb ass friend

But that suckhara guy was no help

He tried to convince me to check the fucking security cameras so he could go off and flirt with the guy about to decapitate keebs!

From: Me

I mean he probably had a good reason to want you to check the cameras right

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

No he’s just fucking awful and now he won’t leave rantarou make him leave

He broke my window and my hammer and only got back 23 of my EMP bombs

And now the police are here

From: Me

That sounds really stressful Miu

Wait how many bombs did you have before

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

From: Me

So he stopped most of your bombs from getting stolen

Also you have bombs?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Get him to leave he won’t leave

He keeps waiting for like interracial pole dancers to come or some fucking thing

From: Me

Do you mean like

Interpol

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

He won’t leave I want him to leave

From: Me

Miu you know I love you like a sister and i totally believe this is as stressful to you as it seems

But I think things may not be so bad?

Not to say what you’re going through right now isn’t totally valid

But things might look better if you got back to bed and caught some z’s

Did you remember to take your meds?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Aw shit

Aw fuck

You’re right

Ugh

Uggghghh

From: Me

Hey it happens to the best of us

If you do think Shuichi should leave in the morning when the cops are gone that’s totally up to you

It’s your lab and you have a right to say who should be in it

Just don’t make a decision like that when you need to sleep you know

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

But what if i ask him to go and then he doesn’t go

From: Me

He doesn’t have a choice, you get to tell him

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

But what if he’s mean to me

Cute people are always mean to me

From: Me

Miu…

Go to bed...

#shuichi x kokichi #shuichi saihara #shuichi danganronpa #kokichi ouma #kokichi danganronpa #oumasai #saiouma #fanfiction #Phantom Thief AU #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #danganronpa #writing #i am gay

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