#sorry these are all worded as questions I do that sometimes

[fangirl-erdariel]

I was gonna put this in the tags but it's gonna get too long to put there easily, so sorry, I'm replying like this

But my answer is, it really depends a lot on the media in question?

Like, the thing is, I've been a Tolkien fan for ten years or thereabouts now, and I've spent most of that time being at least to some degree also a Silmarillion fan. And with Silm fandom, sometimes even with relatively major characters and relationships, there's not that much information actually given about them. Like, there's a lot of filling in blanks involved with the Silm fan experience. So subsequently, in Tolkien fandom, you can persuade me to ship just about anything if there's even a tiniest hint of emotional resonance that can be inferred from something adjacent and I happen to be in the right mood.

Like, I sort of ship Celebrían and Isildur's wife! I've never gotten around to drawing or writing them but I sorta do ship them.

And like, these are characters where... Celebrían.. we know her name, we know who her parents are, who she married in canon, who her children are, and where she lived in some time periods, and the whole "getting kidnapped by orcs and sailing to the West" thing. No personality, hobbies, skills, etc. And Isildur's wife? The fancy word, I believe, is "textual ghost". She technically exists, but we don't even know her name, let alone anything else about her. For fanfic writing purposes, she's a Schrödinger's OC. Evrrything about her, you gotta either make up yourself from scratch like making an OC, or borrow from someone else's fic or headcanon. So we have a background character of whom very little is known, and a character who is for all intents and purposes an OC that happens to slot into a hole in canon. So why do I ship them? Because both of them were (presumably; technically I'm not even sure if it's confirmed that Celebrían did but it seems the most likely option) staying at the same place during a major war that lasted the better part of a decade, and once or twice I thought about what it would be like to be in their place, waiting, far from the fighting and yet knowing that everything about your future hinges on the outcome of the war, and your loved ones are there fighting and even if the war is won you don't know whether they'll survive. And I thought about how those two characters are kinda in the same boat in that regard, and started thinking about how they'd probably talk about it and help each other bear it. And from there it just quickly evolved into shipping. I basically tricked myself into finding emotional resonance in the gaps left by outlines that weren't ever developed into full detailed stories.

So yeah, Tolkien fandom? There, if I'm in the right mood and you introduce me to the concept in the right way, you can make me ship just about anything, up to and including characters that aren't so much characters as holes where a character should go.

But then in a lot of other fandoms, that's not the case? There's some fandoms where I only ship, or could even be persuaded to ship, characters that have a fair bit of on-screen chemistry/whose dynamic is in some way fairly important in the story.

Like, BBC Musketeers? I only really ship a couple of the central canon ships and sorta Porthamis. I probably could be persuaded to ship any of the main boys, and a few major supporting characters wirh established on-screen dynamics, though

Robin of Sherwood? Honestly I barely even ship either Robin and Marion or Robert and Marion, and those are like. Canonical very plot-important ships between the main leads of the show. (Like, to be clear, I don't like mind those romances, I just wasn't super invested in them and my interest was much more in some non-romantic character dynamics and other aspects of the show). I could maybe be persuaded to ship like. some of the other major dynamics between some of the outlaws, but I'm not even sure about that.

So yeah idk it just depends so wildly from fandom to fandom that I struggle to give a definitive genersl answer. Sometimes you can just give me a theme that resonates with me and two barely existent outlines of a character to explore with it and I'll ship it, and other times even getting invested in the most central canon ship is an effort. I've yet to ever ship characters from two completely separate medias. Anyway I would say that even with fandoms where I have ships that I like toying with, shipping is never really the main angle I tend to approach the thing from

Hey, I wanna talk about how we do fandom! I've come to realize that I, personally, tend to differ from many others in that I highly prefer to only engage with a text as it's written, so I don't tend to really like fanon/extremely ooc characterizations and I find it hard to get invested in ships that aren't canon. My way of doing fandom isn't better or worse than anyone else's, but I am curious about how much of a minority I'm in! So:

*We've all seen ships of characters not from the same media and stuff like shipping the concept of ennui with the color blue, okay, I'm asking what you, personally, find compelling!

[arc-misadventures]

So I was re-reading Friends AU just for the kick in the teeth and I'd love to see more positive Jaune/Winter friendships (despite the birthday incident)

A Game of Chess

Jaune: The first move is yours.

Winter smiled as she sat down, and moved a kings pawn forward. She watched, Jaune's 'acquaintances' run off to grab a hotdog, effortlessly abandoning their 'friend' like useless trash. Winter had long since started to understand why, Jaune had long since stopped seeing, if ever seeing these people as his 'friends.'

But, that... they did not matter now. All that mattered right now was this game of chess, and spending time with, Jaune.

Winter: Tell me, have you really been here all day, Jaune.

Jaune: Yes...

Winter: All alone?

Winter watched carefully as his eyes nervously darted to the side before return to address, Winter.

Jaune: A-All alone... Everyone was gone playing, hide, and go seek... so...

Winter: I see. So you were here all alone, just playing chess?

Jaune: Not all the time... Sometimes I just reset the chess board, and stare at it for a while.

Winter: Why?

Jaune moves a queens knight onto the field as his mind planned for the hundredth move that could be made.

Jaune: Setting up the board... I find it to be... calming. Everything in it's place, everything is peaceful. Back at home I would pullout my chess set, and set it up, not to play a game, just set it up, and I feel calm.

Winter: Because it's calming...

Winter took in his words with a hint of sorrow in her voice. To find peace in something so simple sounded like a luxury to her.

Jaune: Is something wrong?

Winter: Oh, it's just sounds nice to simply set up a board game, and to feel an air of calmness to yourself. I never had such a privilege with my father constantly harassing me for one thing, or another. But, maybe now things will change...

Winter moved another queens pawn forward, before turning to look at, Jaune giving her a question gaze.

Winter: What?

Jaune: What do you mean by that; 'Maybe now?" Did something happen?

Winter: Oh yes, you have been here all day so you wouldn't know... My father, Jacques Schnee... He's dead.

Jaune's eyes blinked for a moment, before his head cocked to the side as a confused grunt escaped his lips.

Jaune: Huh?

Winter: Jacques Schnee is dead. He was murdered in the panic room in homes mansion.

Jaune: In the panic room; How?

Jaune moved his queens knight forward taking, Winter's pawn putting her in a precarious position.

Winter: That's the million Lien question... I have a few theories myself, but those theories are worthless without any more information on how he died. Well, how they got into the panic room; a slit throat doesn't need an explanation.

Jaune: Well... I'm sorry...?

Winter made her move before turning to look at, Jaune.

Winter: Are you asking that as a question?

Jaune: Well... He's your dad, and he's dead. But, it's, Jacques Schnee. So...?

Winter leaned back in her stool, as she looked towards the sky, deep in thought.

Winter: Ohhh... My father... Jacques Schnee has been murdered... How could someone do this...?!

Winter drops her face in her hand, and 'cries' at the lost of her father. She opens her fingers to peak at, Jaune's reaction. Or, more accurately, lack of emotion.

Winter: Unconvincing?

Jaune: Were you ever convinced when your father said: 'I love you?'

Jaune moved another pawn freeing one of his rooks.

Winter: Ohhh... how rude.

Winter smiled as she move another pawn freeing up her queen.

Winter: It is as you say, he may be my father, but it was, Jacques Schnee. That bastard would do anything for a Lien. He even tried to sell me off to gain a foothold in another company.

Jaune: Wait, seriously?

Jaune paused as he took in, Winter's words before moving his rook forward.

Jaune: Are you being serious? Cause, I can't tell if you're just exaggerating, or being serious, because it sounds like something he would do.

Winter: He tried to marry me off to men twice my age. When I was ten!

Jaune: Oh gods...

Winter: Mother put an end to those attempts, and said I couldn't do it until I was at least of marriageable age. The next time it happened though, I thought she would stop him, but she had succumbed to the bottle at the time. I could at least dodge his prodding, when I enlisted into the military.

Jaune: But, she still protected you.

Winter: How?

Winter asked as her pawn took, Jaune's knight.

Jaune: You weren't old enough that you could protect yourself from his scheming's. Willow... Ahem... Mrs... Miss, Schnee bought you time. Time for you to grow to become strong enough to protect yourself.

Jaune made this observation as she moved his rook to the middle of the board.

Winter's body stopped as she was about to touch her queen before she leaned back to lean, and stared wide eyed at, Jaune.

Winter: She did protect me...? How?

Jaune: There are three ways to protect a person: You give them a shield to protect themselves from harm. You give them a blade to fight back from those that would harm you. Or, you give them a cloak to hide them from harm. Your mom couldn't give a sword, or a shield, so she gave you a cloak to hide yourself long enough so that you could acquire your own sword, and shield.

Jaune: Your mother gave you a cloak which gave you time; Time to learn, time to grow, time that made it so you were able protect yourself, Much needed time so you would no longer need her cloak to hide yourself from his dealings.

Winter: She gave me her cloak... I.. I never saw it that way. But, why didn't she protect, Weiss as well? She could have protected her as well.

Jaune: Where was, Willow's shield? Where was her blade? And, where was , Willow's cloak? Who was protecting her, while she was protecting you?

Winter: Oh...

Winter: Mother had to deal with the brunt of, Jacques's abuse head on, while she protected me, and Weiss as best she could. No wonder she fled to the bottom of a bottle.

Winter made her next move, and put her queen into the field.

Winter: It seems I need to apologize to my mother. There are many things I did not understand... Well, at least with, Jacques dead mother may stop drinking.

Jaune: Hopefully, it's not easy breaking an addiction.

Winter: I'll make sure she does, I promise.

Jaune: Good.

Jaune moves his kings pawn forward, putting it in a rather odd location which gave, Winter pause.

Winter: Hmmm...? What are you planning...?

Jaune: A shopping list.

Winter: A-A shopping list?

Jaune: Yeah, I took a mission slay a, Karniviar. It's a bit out of the ways, so I'll need so stock up on some supplies before I got to hunt it down.

Winter: A Karniviar; Is that a type of, Grimm?

Winter asked as she moved her queens bishop to protect her queen while, Jaune pulls out his scroll, and shows, Winter a picture of the, Grimm he was going to hunt.

Winter: Oh... I have never seen this kind of, Grimm before...

Jaune: It's a rare species of, Grimm. Researcher's are not sure what class the, Karniviar fits into. Most people think it's one of the reclusive types, that hid in the wilderness until it grows big enough to cause mayhem.

Winter: I see... That's quite a lot of bone plating... It will be quite difficult for your team to punch through that.

Jaune: Nahh... I'm more concerned with that tail flailing about then how thick it's bone plating is. There are plenty of chinks in it's armour to exploit. I shouldn't have a hard time dealing with it. Checkmate.

Winter's mind stopped when he said that. She became as stiff as a statue as her mind slowly rebooted.

Winter: W-When did your bishop get there? No wait, 'I?' Are you going to deal with that, Grimm all on your own?!

Jaune: I'll explain how I won first: You were focusing on the fact I haven't moved my queen, thinking that my plan was to move my other pieces into the perfect position so I could suddenly use my queen, and go for the kill. When in actuality the plan was to make you think I had some sort of grand plan with my queen in mind, when I never had any intention of using her, and was instead focusing on getting my other pieces into the perfect position. And, then go for the kill.

Winter: You came up with a strategy where the entire plan was to make me think you were going to move one piece, and you never planned to touched that one piece.

Jaune: Yep.

Winter: ...

Winter: That... That is a terrifying strategy. Less so than the fact that was your plan, but more so that you actually did it, and I never saw it coming until it was too late.

Jaune: Thank you.

Winter: Your welcome. Now, what's this bit about you taking on this, Karniviar all on your own?

Jaune: Why I took the mission, or why am I doing this all on my own?

Winter: Are they not related?

Jaune: Somewhat. I never heard of a, Karniviar before so I did some research on it. It's armour platting that requires high caliber AP rounds to pierce. It's claws posse the capabilities to tear through one inch of solid steel,. It possess a bight force of an estimated 20,000 psi. And, while it tail spike can pierce through an, Atlasian Knight with ease. All in all it is considered on it's own a, C Class threat. It was a, C Class level threat when I selected it from the mission listing. This one however, should have been classified as a, B Class threat, possibly even an A Class threat due to its location.

Winter: It's location? Where is it located?

Jaune: Near where the, Karniviar was seen, is atown called, Breakers Peak. A fishing town that supplies fifty to sixty precent of, Atlas's raw fish, which counts for approximately thirty percent of Atlas, and Mantles overall food supply.

Jaune: If the, Grimm attacks this town, and even destroys part of the town, just a small section of the town it could have massive repercussions towards their food production. If this happens it would affect, Atlas's, and Mantle's food supply, even if thirty percent is knocked down to ten percent it will still affect everything as well. The price of fish go up, and then any ingredients involved with cooking fish goes up; cooking oil, flour, eggs, their price goes up as well. And, if the price of food goes up people get worried, and if the people get worried...

Winter: The Grimm get rowdy.

Jaune: Correct.

Winter let loose a tired sigh as she face rubbed her face. Her mind was running wild at how a single, Grimm, which would be seen as a minor nuisance, could possibly lead to a total upheaval of, Atlas, and Mantle if not dealt with. Expeditiously.

Winter: When did you think of.. all of this?

Jaune: I did some research of the, Karniviar as I said, after that I did some research of the area it is was spotted in.

Winter: And, then you learned about, Breakers Peak, and studied up on the town. Learning about how they are a fishing village, and how much fish they precure for, Atlas, and Mantle. And, if this particular, Grimm attack the town.

Jaune: The ramifications could be dire. The towns defenses' are decent enough to deal with, Sabyr class, Grimm attacks. But, I doubt they would survive an attack with from this, Karniviar. Not to mention if one, Grimm such as this one attacks the town, more could soon follow.

Jaune: So, I consider this to be an, B Class threat at least, that should be dealt with as soon as possible.

Winter: All on your own?

A weak smile spread across, Jaune's face as he looked away. Before looking at, Winter with a tired, and sad look in her eyes.

Jaune: I asked if anyone would join me...

Winter: And, what did they say?

Jaune: They never got back to me...

Winter: Ahh, so you're taking this alone because no one said... anything?

Jaune: Pretty much. But, I felt that this mission should be done, even if its all on my own.

Winter: I see... Very well then. When do we leave?

Jaune: ...?

Jaune: Beg my pardon... But, did you say, 'We?'

A coy smirk spread across her face as stared, Jaune down.

Winter: I won't let you take this creature all on you own, Jaune. Besides, after you thoroughly defeated me in this game of chess, I'm curious to see what kind of strategy you would come up to deal with it. So, what do you say, Jaune, ready to go, Grimm hunting?

Jaune returned her smirk with one of his own.

Jaune: Tomorrow morning, so you better get ready to leave first thing in the morning. Okay?

Winter: Alright, I'll meet you at the landing pads around, 0800 hrs.

Jaune: I'll see you then, Winter. In the meantime I am quite hungry... w-would you care to join me for a meal? We can discuss more about the mission there.

Winter: I... I would like that...

Jaune: That's great... Uhhh... I know several nice dinners around here... Is there anything in particular you would be interested in eating?

Winter smiled as she gave him a cheeky look.

Winter: You know... I suddenly have an odd craving for fish.

Jaune returned her cheeky smile with one of his own.

Jaune: You don't say...? Well, I know this really great place that serves the best fish 'an chips. Care to join me?

Winter: You know... I never had fish, and chips before.

Jaune: Oh? Well then, let's go fix that then, shall we?

Winter: Lets.

[bontentrio]

ATEEZ and ALMOST BREAKING UP

ot8 x gn reader

summary: you’re in a relationship and one of you (or both) want to break up.

tw: angst (insecurities, arguments, reader flinches sometimes but it’s not violence) but with happy endings because i am weak + fluff + slight nsfw in mingi’s + alcohol in jongho’s.

a/n: i got carried away with yeosang’s and jongho’s my apologies 🙏 rqs are open btw! (also i promise i’m working on ateez stuck in the friendzone part 2 but i have this scheduled for today)

HONGJOONG

you stared at hongjoong in bewilderment. he was sitting down in front of you, with tears in his eyes that threatened to spill if he blinked. he looked so… fragile. as if one single word or touch from you could break him. yet you sat there, with confusion painted all over your face.

“i’m sorry, what?” you asked.

“i think we need to break up” he whispered, as a tear rolled down his cheek and looked away. so you didn’t hear wrong.

“i don’t agree” you said, taking his hand in yours. “what brought you this thought?” you asked, making him look down. you waited a few moments, not wanting to pressure him into talking. then, hongjoong lifted your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it.

“i’m always busy, we haven’t seen each other in a while and i take too long to reply to your texts” he explained. “you deserve someone who is always there for you”

“but don’t i get a say in this? i knew what i was getting into when we started seeing each other” you started saying as you scooted closer to him, in order to lift up his face to look at you. once your eyes interlocked, you cradled his face and continued: “yeah it sucks not being able to see you as much as i wished to, but also it’s not like i’m unhappy. i cherish the small moments we spend together, it makes me eager for the next one”

“but-“ he started saying, but you interrupted him with a kiss. at first, hongjoong sat still, surprised by your sudden actions, but then he kissed you right back. “no buts joong, we are not breaking up. i love you and i still want this. i still want you” you whispered against his lips, reassuringly.

he nodded in response, believing you.

SEONGHWA

“can we talk for a moment?” you asked seonghwa, who immediately felt his blood run cold at the question. he dropped his phone and studied your face: you looked sad, tired even.

realization struck him as quick as alighting: you’ve been avoiding his kisses for at least two days now, and he’s been brushing it off thinking you were just in a weird mood. i mean, yes it bothered him, but he also loved you too much to not give you space if you needed it. he always wanted you to be as comfortable as possible. but maybe he was wrong about that?

“is something wrong, my love?” he asked with a shaky voice as he took your hand in his. he chose to ignore the way you slightly flinched at his touch, or else his heart would break even more.

“i think-“ you started saying, looking down at your intertwined hands. his hold was gentle, as he always has been. kind, gentle, beautiful, all things you were not. “i think we should take a break”.

you looked up to him, and immediately regretted it: tears formed in his eyes, threatening to spill, while his lips were parted, probably trying to think of what to say. the scene completely broke you, and further proved your point about your insecurities.

“did i do something wrong?” he whispered, not trusting his voice to speak louder without breaking. your eyebrows furrowed, how could he think that when he’s been nothing but perfect in every way? “if i did i’m sorry y/n, i’ll change, but please don’t leave me”

you hugged him tightly, hiding his face on your neck as he sobbed. you didn’t realize you started crying too. “i’m sorry baby, you didn’t do anything wrong” you started saying after a while, pulling him back and cradling his face “it’s me, it’s all me and it has always been me. i’m the problem and i’m always holding you back, i’m sorry hwa”

“holding me back? what do you mean? baby you’re my motivation” seonghwa said, wiping away your tear with his thumbs. “but-“ you started saying, only to be interrupted by him:

“no, don’t ever say that again. you’re my star, y/n”.

YUNHO

normally, you would find yunho’s angry face hot, but now that it’s directed at you? not so much. not when he’s staring at you like you’re a waste of time and space, which only made your anger bubble up more.

“don’t just sit and stare at me! can you please give me a response? it’s not hard yunho” you exclaimed, earning a big eye roll from him “it’s a simple yes or no question: were you flirting with them?”

“god y/n you can be so annoying! no i wasn’t flirting, but now i wish i was so i could have a valid excuse to not see you again!” yunho yelled, standing up abruptly from his seat, making you take a step back unconsciously. this action didn’t go unnoticed by him, quickly realizing that surprise took over your face for a moment, before turning back to anger.

“if you don’t want to see me again then let’s just break up. i’m setting you free yunho” you said in anger, contrasting the way your eyes started watering.

you turned around in order to leave, not wanting him to see you cry, but he grabbed your hand, stopping you. when you turned around, you saw that his hard expression had softened, anger slowly dissipating.

“wait, don’t leave” he started saying “i’m sorry, i wasn’t thinking straight when i said what i said. i love you, i didn’t flirt with them and i don’t want you to leave”

yunho’s eyes silently begged you to forgive him, as he brought you closer to him slowly, testing the waters. when he realized you weren’t going to move away, he wrapped his arms around you. “i’m truly sorry baby, please don’t leave. i love you”.

you cried softly on his chest, as he thought of ways to make you forgive him completely. he refused to let you go.

YEOSANG

“i think this should end, y/n” he said suddenly, making you turn around in your spot at the kitchen. you looked at him confused, tea cups still on your hand.

“you mean the habit of us having tea together before bed?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed. yeosang stood up from the coach, and approached you slowly as you took notice of his sad face. “you know what i mean” he whispered once he reached you.

you shook your head “no, actually i don’t. is this about the argument earlier? i forgave you already, it’s all good yeo i promise” you replied quickly, setting the tea cups aside and proceeding to hold his arms. yeosang stared at you, it seems like he was about to cry as well, becoming all too real.

it’s rare for you to argue honestly, often choosing to just talk things out calmly. but earlier that day, ‘talking’ seemed impossible, as constant yelling filled the room. yeosang had promised, once again, to take you out on a date to celebrate your anniversary (two weeks and a half ago), but due to his idol duties he cancelled again. you have had enough, so things escalated rather quickly, making him leave your shared home with a loud shut of the door.

thing is, hours later yeosang showed up with a small bouquet of flowers and asked for forgiveness. he also explained to you how overwhelmed he felt at the moment with all the upcoming comeback preparations. you understood him obviously, and decided it would be better to just move the date until after promotions.

so everything was fine, all forgiven. what brought this now? “baby we barely see each other, except late at night like right now” he started saying, biting his lip so he could stop the tears from spilling out “you deserve someone better”.

“yeosang you are the ‘better’ you’re refereing to! i don’t want anyone else” you answered, hugging him. “i just want you, all of you, even with your weird and long schedules. i still want to feel your kiss on my cheek every time you leave and i still want to have tea with you late at night”

yeosang kissed you, pouring his whole soul and love in it as he held you impossibly closer than before. after a while, he reluctantly broke it, face still close to yours.

“i’m sorry, i love you” he whispered.

SAN

“no” he said, shaking his head as he looked at you with an unreadable expression “no, we’re not breaking up”

“but-“ you started to argue, kind of getting annoyed at the way he dismissed your previous statement. it’s been a week since fans started suspecting of your relationship, after a sasaeng had caught you at a restaurant celebrating your first anniversary. the media was going wild, even going as far as searching up your socials and sending malicious messages, all telling you to break up with san and that you’re harming his idol image.

“i said no, baby” he said, kissing your cheek and taking your hand, leading you to the bedroom “let’s go to bed”

“san! i’m about to ruin your career, i can’t just brush it off like it’s nothing! we need to break up, or at least take a break until everything calms down” you exclaimed, taking your hand back. san stared at you, face still unreadable but with some traces of hurt evident in his eyes. he took your hands again.

“you’re not going to ruin my career, love” he started saying, holding your hands tighter as if he was scared of letting go “kq’s management is handling it, they assured me everything will be fine because the angle of the photo didn’t show my face, and the couple behind us hid my body as well, so it’s not noticeable that it’s me”

you thought for a moment. truth is, you love san way too much to bring him harm, as small as possible it may be. he knew this, but his reasoning made sense. for all the media knows, the guy in the picture could be a lookalike.

“please” he said, barely above a whisper. you nodded, kissing his lips reassuringly. it’s going to be okay.

MINGI

the room felt heated, despite the different pieces of clothing that have been mindlessly discarded all over the place. mingi’s mouth never left yours, tongue entering your mouth as if it was it’s second home. his hands were everywhere: massaging your chest, holding your waist, playing with your ass, caressing your thighs. you felt him everywhere, all at once.

“we should really break things off” he said, in between kisses. you nodded, letting out a small moan when his lips found your neck. “definitely” you managed to say.

you and mingi have been arguing a lot recently, sometimes over silly small things like laundry or house chores, and other times the argument would revolve around hin forgetting important dates or your stubbornness to remember that he is an idol and is, of course, busy.

mingi’s hands went back to your ass, slapping it lightly and making you jump. he proceeded to hold your thighs, pulling you up to his height as he pressed you against the wall. he kissed you again, desperately and deeply.

“min-“ you started saying, or attempted to say since his lips made it near impossible. he bit your lip in response. “mingi”

he hummed against your lips. “this is not what breaking up means” you managed to say, pulling the back of his hair lightly but enough to make hin groan. “i know, but what if it is for us? i know you’ll miss this, miss me. now hold tight” he answered, unbucking his belt as you held on him tightly to not fall while he maneuvered with his pants.

once he was done, and pressed you harder against the wall, your trail of thought immediately disappeared. if it was a good or bad decision, or something that would become cyclical, that would be a problem for the future.

WOOYOUNG

“we should break up” you said, as a matter of fact. you stood in front of him, arms crossed as a serious expression adorned your face. wooyoung, in contrast, was sitting on your shared bed, mindlessly scrolling through social media. he didn’t even bother to look up.

“and why do you think that, baby?” he asked, still not looking at you, which caused your eye to twitch slightly. “exactly because of things like this wooyoung! i’m trying to break up with you and you don’t even care!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms in the air dramatically.

wooyoung blocked his phone and set it aside, sitting up straight in the process. his eyes found yours, probably trying to decipher how you were feeling. “are there any other reasons?”

“you don’t have time for me-“ you replied. “i still see you every night unless i’m on tour, and even in that circumstance i call every day” he interrupted. “okay, but you also never help me around the house” you argued. “baby, i literally cook half of your meals”.

“but-“ you started saying, only to be interrupted once again by wooyoung: “see? no reasons, no break up” he said, patting your head and returning to his phone.

“you’re impossible” you said, sitting beside him with your arms still crossed against your chest. wooyoung kissed your cheek “i know, but you love me nonetheless. plus i know this was an attempt to prank me as revenge for last time”

your eyes widened in surprise.

“HOW?!”

JONGHO

you might have taken a few too many drinks at tonight’s night out with your friends, so they had to call your boyfriend jongho to come and pick you up. thankfully, he answered quickly and said he would be there in 10.

“noooo you called jongho?” you asked, tipsily as you grabbed your friend’s hand that was holding your phone. “he has to wake up early tomorrow! he shouldn’t be driving around, he has to rest!”

“someone has to get you home, babe! plus he seemed fine, i promise” your friend answered in between giggles watching you pout.

once you spot jongho, your whole face lit up involuntarily, as if it was a reflex. once he reached your table, he hugged you from behind, pecking your cheek. “thanks for calling me and taking care of her” he told your friends. you clumsily bid your goodbyes to your friends and turned to jongho, ready to go.

“you shouldn’t have come, jongs” you started saying as he buckled up your belt in the passenger seat. “you have a long day tomorrow”

“it’s no problem baby, i couldn’t sleep anyways” he said, jogging back to the driver’s seat. you looked at him, thoughtful expression on your face for a few moments. “what?” he asked, chuckling as he drove the car out of the parking lot.

“you weren’t able to sleep because i was out? or because you weren’t feeling tired?” you asked, curiously. for someone who was terribly drunk, you sure got philosophical. add that to the long list of things jongho finds endearing about you.

“little bit of both i guess” he answered, stopping at a red light. you stayed quiet, strangely so, which caused jongho to turn his face to you to check if you fell asleep. but you weren’t. instead, you looked at him with tears in your eyes. “baby? what’s wrong?” he said, slightly panicking, not caring that the light turned green. since it was late at night, his car was the only one there at the moment.

“i’m a burden to you” you concluded, tears rolling down your cheeks “i’m holding you back and you should leave me”. huh?!?!

“baby, what are you talking about?” he asked in confusion, before frantically holding your face and wiping your tears away with kisses. “you always appear to save the day jongs, and i do nothing in return” you whispered, looking deeply into his eyes.

“you do more than you realize, y/n” he said, kissing you once more. “but you’re drunk, and i know nothing i’ll say will stick in this state. so let’s talk about it tomorrow, yes?”

“promise?” you asked, in a tiny voice. “i promise” he reassured.

[dobadoo]

˗ˏˋ ꒰ WANDERER ꒱ ˎˊ˗ my sweet, tender girl..

wanderer/fem!reader

warnings ★ — NSFW. cuniculingus, fingering, gentle sex, just fluff at the end

a/n ★ — my dears, sorry in advance for my English, I wrote everything in my native language and translated. (I think it turned out too dirty..)

1.209 words (POSSIBLE NON-CANON)

Expressing his feelings and love in words, except for calling you cute poetic nicknames, he… Doesn't really know how. Or at all. But he can take you to a "puspa" cafe or watch the sunset in the evening, but he can't express it in words. He sees your glowing eyes when you look at him. He sees how happy you are because of his presence next to him. He honestly doesn't fully understand this, but secretly he is glad that he can make you happy.

He doesn't like to remember his dark past. He knows that he managed to do something wrong, but he just doesn't want to involve you in it and doesn't understand how such a beautiful creature like you could love someone like him.

His caustic phrases can hurt you, and sometimes it gets to the point that you just leave home for an indefinite period. You know, or just hope, that he is looking for you and wants to apologize. In his indigo, cold, detached eyes, you can now read sympathy for what he said, but for some reason he does not always say it. You know his past, albeit briefly, and you understand that it is difficult for him to open up to people. You see how he tries, and you appreciate this effort. You yourself try to help him, telling him what to say in what situations.

Over time, you see the fruit of your efforts. If the Wanderer runs into someone on the street, then it is not particularly difficult for him to talk to the person. It happens that he cannot keep track of his language, and thereby offends the person.

And so, you are standing in the night forest of Avidya (if I wrote it wrong, please tell me) you are sitting on a shabby log, while the Wanderer, with crossed arms, stands in front of you, drilling you with a heavy, piercing gaze of his indigo eyes.. And then he takes off his hat, putting it on the grass and comes closer. You look up at him and already understand.. When he behaves like this, it's a bad sign.

"I'll ask a question, and you have to answer me. And don't you dare lie, I'll understand it right away, you know."

The Wanderer looks at you, putting one gloved hand on his side.

"Pfft.. What kind of question is that?"

You answer, look at him, and probably for the first time you see such pain in his eyes. You hesitantly stood up and put your hand on his shoulder, trying to make him understand that you are nearby and he has nothing to fear. He looks coldly at your hand and reaches out to squeeze it and then.. Remove it from his shoulder with a detached look.

"Name the reason why you "fell in love" with me so much?"

The question made your mind fly out. A slight stupor for a few seconds. The puppet does not take his eyes off your agitated face and watches every change in your behavior, thereby driving you into a stupor even more. You understand that if you remain silent for at least a few more seconds, the Wanderer will draw his own conclusion.

"I don’t need any reasons to love you. If you are afraid because of your past, then you shouldn’t. You are not that person anymore. I know how you reproach yourself inside, but believe me, you shouldn’t."

"I… understand"

The Wanderer's eyes widened slightly before they became calm again. He honestly didn't expect such an answer. He can't perceive himself as an adequate and calm person. As a completely ordinary resident of Sumeru. You are the only one who believes in him. You are the only one who didn't turn away, but on the contrary came to help. You became his light in his impenetrable darkness, which illuminates the way. Your smile warms his empty soul. Gentle touches make him experience strange… but pleasant sensations in the place where the heart should be.

He decided for himself that he will become your support. He will become your protector and will not allow you to go on these errands again, from which you return with new wounds. Seeing blood on your body, like an arrow in the soul, shakes him every time he hears your cough, reminding him of the last person who "betrayed" him.. He does not stand aside. He also goes on missions with you and protects you. Sitting in the evening near some pond, he looks at you, and a smile appears on his face. He sees how tired, sweaty and dirty you are, going into this pond and splashing around there like a little child, calling the Wanderer to you. With his wind, he helps your hair dry, and at this time you weave a wreath, which soon ends up on his head.

He honestly still does not fully understand the reason for such love for himself on your part, but he is madly happy that you are near.

18+

He does not particularly need intimacy, but when he sees you, so vulnerable, lying under him, with such tear-stained eyes from passion and desire… What are you doing to him, girl?

"I see how much you want. Why don't you ask?"

his indigo eyes shimmer in the moonlight as he leaves soft kisses on your tense groin. His doll lips were so cold on your soft, hot skin… you got goosebumps. But you didn't care, because your warmth, coming straight from your tender, loving heart, could surely warm you both.

"Mhm.. please don't tease me like that.."

You touched his dark indigo soft hair, lightly ran your fingers through his locks and pulled the fabric of his white cloak, hiding his beautiful body under a transparent black sleeveless turtleneck that fit his slender body so perfectly. And then you suddenly thought that such beauty would really ruin you one day.

"Oh my sweet, tender girl.."

The Wanderer whispered contentedly, and with a hint of teasing. As your passion grew, the Wanderer felt the last remnants of his cynical facade crumble. sweet words and your gentle caresses awakened feelings in him that he had long buried - longing, devotion, the uncertain movements of a heart slowly thawing after centuries of icy isolation.

"Are you cold, my Persephone?"

He asked tenderly, covering the inside of your thigh with cold kisses, you shook your head. You threw your head back, pressing yourself against the mossy side of the tree, where you had previously had a casual conversation.

The puppet avoided your most sensitive places, the gentle touch of his lips on your untouched skin sent electrical impulses running along your spine. You trembled, your breath hitched, as waves of new sensations rolled over you.

Encouraged by your reaction, the Wanderer's kisses became bolder, his indigo gaze staring at you with a glint of gentle mischief. The cold of his touch contrasted teasingly with the heat of your arousal, igniting the fire of your desire to new heights.

"Mhm.."

You jerked forward sharply as his gloved hands spread my legs in such a depraved manner.. You raised yourself up on your elbows, looking into his indigo eyes with a little excitement

"Sh-sh-shh.."

The Wanderer, sensing your excitement, climbed on top of you, gave you passionate kisses on the lips, you responded willingly, all fears dissipated, only desire, love and lust remained. The Wanderer covered your fragile neck with kisses and light bites, claiming your body for himself. The puppet began to worship your most intimate flesh, the Wanderer admired the exquisite tenderness of your form. Each thin fold, each responsive movement was evidence of the wondrous diversity of creation.

"That's it, now lie still, sunshine."

Riven by the desire to bring you to the heights of ecstasy, he paid attention to your sensitive clitoris, causing a stream of pleasure in you. With reverent intensity, the Wanderer's gaze remained riveted to your flushed, wet folds. Coming ever closer, he pressed gentle, teasing kisses to the swollen lips of your vulva, the Wanderer licked and sucked, listening to your melodic girlish moans.

Suddenly you were grabbed by the hips and pulled closer. You gasped in surprise, his tongue moved and circled over your clitoris, and at the same time you felt something wet pressing against you from below. You swallowed your saliva and moaned pitifully, taking two fingers inside you first. The Wanderer was amused by your reaction. He let out a light laugh, continuing to caress and please you with his tongue, painfully slowly moving his fingers.

"Don't hold back, show me what other sounds you can make from my actions. Let me go faster," - the movement of the fingers accelerated, and the Wanderer was content with the vulgar squelching sounds from below, scratches on the back and frank female moans. - "Do you like it like this? my little minx?"

You wanted to answer something caustic, but the fast pace of his puppet-like, long, thin fingers knocked you off your feet, you threw your head back, holding onto the blanket. You clenched your hands into fists, moaning quite loudly when his mouth stopped caressing you below, the Wanderer sat up, looking at you with clouded indigo eyes, he leaned on you, settling between your legs.

"Do you want me to caress you here?" - a soft whisper and an almost chaste kiss on the bridge of your nose, while his beautiful fingers rub your walls, moving faster and faster.

"just like that?(your name)?"

"Yes", - your answer is drowned in a groan, drawn out, ending in a desperate whine. And someone else's grin reaches your ears.

His fingers spread inside you like scissors, and your back bends as he bends them a little, stretching the still tight walls, his free hand falls on your miniature breast, and lightly pinches your nipple, forcing you to stay in place, urging you not to move.

A whimper escaped your lips again as the puppet's other hand began to gently rub and make circular motions on your sensitive bud. He moved down slightly to make it easier to work with you with both hands. You closed your eyes and moaned, slowly moving towards him. The Wanderer licked his lip and moved inside you at an unimaginable speed. This was enough to bring you to the abyss of orgasm.

"close.."

while you were lost in your own orgasm, you heard the Wanderer muffled moaning, even screaming, shuddering over your naked body and involuntarily scratching your reddened sides. The wanderer held onto the lower part of your body so tightly that red marks and traces remained on you, including your legs.

He carefully laid your trembling body on a mossy tree branch, and the Wanderer himself, slowly pulled out his fingers and lay down on your chest, right where the heart is, which, by the way, is beating very fast. He heard this sound for the first time, before that he could only fantasize about how a human heart beats, so he was in no hurry to get up or disturb this rare idyll for both of you.

"You so loud, it's ringing in my ears..I wonder if next time I can make you moan louder..mm?."

Puppet raised his head and slyly looked into your eyes. You understood perfectly well that you were all disheveled, red, and the puppet felt great and after a while was ready for the second round.

"And now let me lie down for a bit. Your heart is about to give away all your secrets, beauty.."

The Wanderer lightly flicked you on the nose, then laying down on your chest.

[dira333]

Kiss me in the dark - Kuroo x Reader

Friends to lovers, for @reverie-starlight for the Milestone Event Week 1

"Spin the bottle!" Bokuto cries, as usual much too loud for the crowded space.

"I heard you the first time!" Yaku sniffs and spins the bottle, no doubt hoping it will land on Fukurodani's cute manager.

It lands on you.

You can see how he swallows, his usually straightforward behavior turning nervous. "I think there's a mistake," he tries. "I didn't spin it right."

"Rules are rules!" Akaashi points out with an almost bored smile while you wish you could sink into the floor.

Yaku hesitates once more before resigning himself to his fate, leaning over the gap where the bottle waits for its next turn.

SMACK!

He lands face-first on the floor, Tetsurou behind him.

"Whoops, sorry. Didn't see you there."

Yaku's cheeks are red and he's positively angry but he's not retaliating, which is a first.

"Well, get it over with..." Akaashi drawls and there's something to his smile that tells you he's enjoying this... whatever this is.

"I could take your place if you're too hurt to kiss, you know." Tetsurou points out, pointedly checking his nails.

"Yes," Kenma snarls from where he's hidden by the snacks. "Do it."

Silence washes over the room. It's one thing to joke about it, another to actually follow through on it.

Your eyes catch Tetsurou’s in the dim light and your heart stutters to a halt as you wonder if he's finally going to do it - breach that gap between you that's been keeping you apart.

- - -

“This is Tetsurou, my son. And this is Kenma, his best friend,” the man explains. You eye the two boys from the safety of your mother's hand, none of them daring to catch your eye.

“My daughter is a little shy,” your mother explains above you to your utter embarrassment. “I’m sure she’ll warm up to them in no time though.”

“Do you, uh,” Tetsurou mumbles, dragging his foot across the floor, “do you wanna play… Volleyball?”

“Can I?” You look up to your mom for guidance. You don’t dislike playing ball. You just hope they don’t play rough.

“Sure, honey. Go on.”

Tetsurou is a good teacher. He might swallow his words sometimes, reddening in the afterglow of the evening sun when you peer up at him with too many questions to voice and he might stumble over himself trying to get you to like Kenma and Kenma to like you, but he’s nice. Not too rough, not too loud. Just nice.

-

The room is filled with the pained sounds of a monster dying as Kenma slays it on screen. 

You purse your lips, focusing as you drag the little brush over Tetsurou’s nails.

“I like this kind of red,” he mumbles quietly, all tuckered out from playing Volleyball all afternoon. It’s the one thing that gets him out of his shell, just like Games do for Kenma, or fashion does for you. 

“I have a wig in that color,” you tell him just as quietly, “I can lend it to you.”

“Really?” His grin is infectious. “I’d love that.”

And it’s in those moments, quiet and soft and oh so familiar, that you find yourself drawn in. Like you’re no longer orbiting him, but going straight on collision course.

- - -

Over seven years of friendship and it all boils down to this.

Tetsurou doesn’t move, frozen where he sits.

You push yourself up when it goes on too long, darting your lips over Yaku’s bruised cheek.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” you tell the room as if anyone doesn’t know what’s going on. Those are your friends, in a way, even though Bokuto is more Tetsurou’s friend than yours and Akaashi is Bokuto’s friend of course and Yaku is a whole different topic, but, alas, they all know what’s going on. It’s Tetsurou after all. He’s an open book.

You make it all the way down the dark hallway, past the other sleeping quarters where the younger players snore away. At least Lev hadn’t participated. You wouldn’t be able to live that humiliation down.

“Wait!”

You don’t turn. You know that voice without looking.

The bathroom door closes behind you with a quiet click, your heart beating fast. You didn’t need to run, but it feels like it, running from a joke that’s no longer funny, an unavoidable conversation you don’t want to have.

The door opens again and Tetsurou stumbles through, eyes wide and cheeks pale.

“This is the girl’s bathroom!” You hiss and he panics, throwing himself against the closing door with his eyes closed.

“I’m not looking!” He promises. “But we need to talk. Alone. Is anyone else in here?”

Silence.

You sigh.

“Fine,” you huff, swallowing against the nerves. Like a bandaid, you tell yourself. Just rip it off. “Don’t joke about kissing me if you don’t wanna do it anyway.”

Tetsurou chokes. “I wasn’t joking.”

“What?!” It’s your turn to panic. “No, wait. No! You don’t get to say that when you panic froze right after being put on the spot.”

“I want to kiss you!” He promises. “Just not… in front of all of our friends.”

“You’re just saying that so I’m no longer mad at you.”

“True, but, also…” He shrugs, but it looks more like a nervous tick, like he’s trying to get rid of the thoughts that sit heavy on his shoulders. “You’re my best friend. What if we kiss and you’re no longer my best friend? I don’t know if I can take that risk.”

You nod, stepping back a little. He’s right. You’ve been thinking about that long enough to know that he’s right.

However, tonight has proven something else.

“But I think… if we keep going like this, in this kind of limbo of not just friends but not something more, we’ll not stay best friends either. This hurts, you know?”

“Yeah,” Tetsurou nods, slow and solemnly. His eyes look like they used to as a kid, before he got more confident in himself, before he began trusting others as well as himself. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

His hand reaches out and you take it without thinking, your heart and body longing to be close to him.

“Can I kiss you now?” He whispers as the motion-sensitive lighting flickers out around you, bathing you in soft, curious darkness.

His lips are soft and he tastes like the nerd clusters Bokuto dared him to eat as a joke and his arms are warm and strong around you, like a promise and a memory altogether.

-

Your hand is firmly in his as you step out into the hallway again, your lips a little bruised and his grin sitting a little lopsided.

“Finally,” Kenma drawls and you turn, surprised to see the whole group waiting at the corner behind him.

“Did you kiss?” Bokuto asks, beefy arms heavy on Akaashi’s shoulders who just rolls his eyes.

“Yes,” you tell them with a grin before Tetsurou can and watch them all jump and cheer like the idiots they are.

[wethotcrazy]

Buona Fortuna

pairing: Mercedes F1 Team! Kimi Antonelli x F1 Academy Driver! Reader

word count: 5500

trying out some new stuff, but chat i fear i cooked a little too hard. also if you like this tell me (i might make more parts to it), and sorry for the sudden change i just wanted it to be all in one part instead of two.

The Mercedes F1 hospitality area was nearly empty at 11 PM, save for two figures huddled at a corner table. Kimi Antonelli, still in his team polo despite the late hour, sat across from Y/N, who was surrounded by engineering textbooks and a laptop displaying race telemetry data.

"You know," Kimi said, sliding a fresh cup of coffee toward her, "most people would think I'm crazy for spending my free evening watching someone study thermodynamics."

Y/N looked up from her calculations, offering a tired but genuine smile. "Most people would think I'm crazy for studying thermodynamics between F1 Academy practice sessions."

"That's why you're you," he replied with a soft smile, a familiar warmth of admiration in his voice.

Their friendship had always been like this – comfortable silences, shared understanding, and mutual support that went beyond their racing careers. It started back in their Prema days when they were both trying to navigate the delicate balance between racing and high school.

While Kimi had treated academics as a necessary obligation, Y/N approached it with the same passion she showed on track. He remembered watching her in awe as she'd switch seamlessly between analyzing racing lines and solving calculus problems during their breaks.

"How do you not get burned out?" he'd asked her once during their Prema days.

"Because I love both," she'd answered simply. "The racing helps me understand the physics, and the physics helps me understand the racing. They're not separate things in my mind."

That response had stuck with him, reshaping his own approach to racing. While he might not share her enthusiasm for academic pursuits, her words had taught him that true excellence came from understanding every aspect of what you do.

Now, a couple of years later, he found himself gravitating toward her study sessions whenever their racing schedules aligned. Sometimes he'd ask questions about the engineering concepts she was learning, genuinely curious about how they applied to their cars. Other times, like tonight, he'd simply keep her company, finding inspiration in her unwavering focus.

"Remember when you posted that congratulations message when we  graduated?" Y/N asked suddenly, looking up from her textbook.

Kimi grinned. "How could I forget? 'Proudest teammate award goes to @KimiAntonelli,'" he quoted the replies that had flooded in. "I meant every word of it, you know. Still do."

"You always have been supportive," she laughed, but her eyes showed deep appreciation.

"You know, I joke about you being a nerd all the time, but..." he paused, gathering his thoughts. "Watching you excel in both worlds, it made me realize I wasn't pushing myself hard enough in some areas. When I'm tired after a long day of practice and all I want to do is sleep, I think about you studying after equally long days. It makes me want to be better, to understand more, to push harder."

Y/N set down her pencil, touched by his honesty. "Kimi..."

"I mean it," he continued. "Everyone in F1 asks me about my rapid rise through the ranks, but they don't see what I see. They don't see my friend who's working twice as hard, not just winning races but understanding the very science that makes these cars work."

A comfortable silence fell between them as Y/N returned to her studies and Kimi started reviewing his own race data on his tablet. This had become their routine whenever their race weekends coincided – her studying, him working, occasionally breaking the silence to share thoughts or ask questions.

"Another win for Y/N L/N!" the commentator announced as she crossed the finish line. "The F1 Academy sensation continues to dominate while pursuing her mechanical engineering degree..."

After Y/N won her F1 Academy race, Kimi was the first to reach her in parc fermé. As they hugged in celebration, he whispered, "You always make it look so easy."

She laughed against his shoulder. "Nothing about this is easy."

"That's what makes it impressive," he replied, pulling back to look at her. "And don't worry – I saved you a spot in the hospitality area. You've got that fluid dynamics test to study for, right?"

"You're not sick of being my study buddy yet?"

Kimi's expression softened. "Never. Besides," he added with a playful grin, "how else am I going to learn why my car does what it does? My engineers would be proud of how much engineering I've absorbed just from listening to you study."

That evening, as they settled into their usual spot, Kimi watched Y/N dive straight into her studies despite the exhaustion of race day. Her dedication wasn't just about achieving good grades or winning races – it was about pursuing excellence in everything she did. And while he might joke about her being his inspiration, the truth was far deeper than any joke could convey.

Because in Y/N, Kimi saw what true passion looked like. It wasn't just about being fast on track or smart in class – it was about the relentless pursuit of understanding, the dedication to growth, and the courage to chase multiple dreams at once. Her drive pushed him to be better, to learn more, to dig deeper into his own craft.

"Hey," he said suddenly, making her look up from her books. "I know I tease a lot, but you really are an inspiration. Not just to me, I know so many others out there that really look up to you."

Y/N's face softened into a smile. "And you're the best study buddy a racing driver could ask for."

"Even though I still don't understand half of what you're studying?"

"Especially because of that," she laughed. "Your confused face keeps me entertained during the boring parts."

As they settled back into their comfortable routine – Y/N with her studies, Kimi with his race notes – he couldn't help but smile. Some might find it strange that a Formula 1 driver chose to spend his free time watching his friend study engineering, but to Kimi, these quiet moments were as valuable as any time spent on track.

Because it was in these moments that he was reminded of what real dedication looked like, what true passion meant, and how the pursuit of excellence in one area could inspire growth in another. Y/N might joke about him being her study buddy, but in truth, she was teaching him something far more valuable than engineering principles – she was showing him what it meant to never stop pushing, learning, and growing.

And that, more than any podium or pole position, was why his admiration for her only grew stronger with each passing day.

The Mercedes garage buzzed with pre-qualifying preparations, but Kimi's eyes were fixed on his phone screen, watching Y/N's F1 Academy race. He was supposed to be reviewing track data, but he couldn't help himself – her racing style had always captivated him.

"Antonelli!" Ollie Bearman's voice cut through his concentration as his friend poked his head into the Mercedes garage, Haas race suit tied around his waist. "Let me guess – watching Y/N's race?"

Kimi didn't even bother hiding his phone. "She's in P2, fighting for the lead."

"When are you going to admit you're in love with her?" Ollie teased, settling beside him to watch.

"I'm not—" Kimi started to protest, but his words were cut short as Y/N executed a perfect overtake into Turn 1. His involuntary smile said more than any denial could.

"Sure, sure," Ollie laughed. "You've only been like this since our Prema days. 'Y/N's so dedicated,'" he mimicked. "'She's so inspiring. Did you know she got another perfect score?'"

Kimi felt his cheeks warm. "She's my friend."

"A friend you can't take your eyes off of," Ollie pointed out. "A friend whose races you watch while you should be prepping for quali. A friend who—"

"She's through! She's won!" Kimi interrupted, jumping slightly in his seat as Y/N crossed the finish line. Without thinking, he immediately opened his messages.

Kimi: Incredible drive! That move into T1 was pure class. Good luck with studying later - FaceTime after quali? Need to hear all about that overtake 👊

Her reply came quickly:

Y/N: Thanks Kimi! 🏆 Those racing lines finally making sense 😂 Absolutely yes to FaceTime - I'll be watching your quali! Show them how it's done ❤️

The heart emoji made his own heart skip a beat, though he tried to ignore it. His phone buzzed again:

Ollie: I saw that smile when she texted back. You're not fooling anyone 😏

Kimi rolled his eyes, but couldn't completely suppress his grin. His race engineer called him for the final quali briefing, and he forced himself to focus on the task at hand. Yet as he slipped into his race suit, he found himself thinking about how Y/N would be watching.

The qualifying session was intense, but knowing Y/N was watching somehow made him push even harder. As he crossed the line to secure P3 in Q3, he could almost hear her cheering.

The moment he parked in parc fermé, he was pulling out his phone, FaceTiming Y/N while walking to his media obligations.

Her face appeared on screen, beaming with pride. "P3! Kimi, that last sector was incredible!"

"Not as incredible as your overtake earlier," he replied, unable to stop smiling. She was sitting at her desk, engineering textbooks already spread out around her, hair still damp from her own podium celebration.

"Are you seriously doing this interview while FaceTiming?" she laughed as he positioned himself for the post-quali interviews.

"You're more important," he said without thinking, then quickly added, "Besides, you can help me with the technical questions about car balance."

A Sky Sports reporter approached, amused to find him on FaceTime. "Kimi, fantastic qualifying! Who are you talking to?"

"Y/N L/N," he answered proudly, turning his phone to show her. "She just won her F1 Academy race today."

"Kimi!" Y/N protested, embarrassed by the attention, but he could see her trying not to smile.

The reporter, well aware of their friendship, played along. "Any advice for him, Y/N?"

"Remember what I taught you about apex speeds," she teased. "It's just like solving differential equations – all about finding the optimal solution."

Kimi laughed, his expression softening in a way that made Ollie, watching from nearby, shaking his head knowingly. "Always the engineer, even on race day."

As he moved through his media obligations, he kept Y/N on the call, their easy banter and shared joy making the tedious process enjoyable. She occasionally chimed in with technical insights that actually impressed the journalists, making Kimi's chest swell with pride.

"You should be studying," he finally said, once he was heading back to the team motorhome.

"I am studying," she protested, holding up her thermodynamics textbook. "I'm just also watching my favorite Mercedes driver crush it in quali."

"I'm the only Mercedes driver you know personally," he pointed out.

"Still my favorite," she winked, and Kimi felt that familiar warmth spread through his chest.

Maybe Ollie was right. Maybe these feelings went beyond admiration and friendship. Maybe the way his day felt brighter when she smiled, the way he looked forward to their study sessions, the way he felt proud of her achievements as if they were his own – maybe it all meant something more.

But for now, he was content to walk through the paddock, phone in hand, listening to Y/N explain her winning overtake while flipping through engineering notes. In that moment, with hundreds of miles between them but their connection as strong as ever, Kimi realized that some feelings didn't need to be admitted out loud to be real.

"Hey," Y/N's voice softened. "You went quiet. What are you thinking about?"

Kimi smiled, watching her juggle her textbook while trying to maintain eye contact through the camera. "Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my corner, even when we're racing so far apart."

Her expression melted into something tender that made his heart race faster than any qualifying lap. "Always, Kimi. We're a team, remember? Even when we're not teammates anymore."

And if Ollie happened to catch him later that night, still on FaceTime with Y/N as she studied and he reviewed race data, both of them fighting sleep just to stay connected a little longer – well, maybe his friend wasn't completely wrong about those feelings after all.

The F1 social media landscape exploded one Tuesday morning when Prema Racing announced their 2025 Formula 2 lineup. Among the names was Y/N L/N, making history as she stepped up from F1 Academy after a dominant season.

Within minutes, Kimi's notification feed was flooded as fans tagged him in the announcement. He didn't hesitate to share his excitement:

@KimiAntonelli: From studying engineering between races to fighting for the F2 championship - this is what dedication looks like! So proud of you @YN_LN! Time to show F2 what you're made of! 🏎️📚

The tweet quickly went viral, but it wasn't just the announcement that caught fans' attention. Within hours, racing fan accounts began sharing compilation videos:

"KIMI AND Y/N: FROM PREMA TO F1/F2 🥺❤️ (a thread)"

The first video showed them as young teenagers at Prema, Kimi helping Y/N carry her textbooks to the engineering room while she explained race strategy concepts. Another clip featured their podium celebrations, where they'd always find each other first for a congratulatory hug.

@F1Moments: "The way Kimi BEAMS when talking about Y/N's achievements? We're not okay 😭❤️"

The clip showed various interviews where Kimi praised Y/N:

"She's not just fast on track, she understands these cars like an engineer..."

"While we're all focused on racing, she's getting perfect grades in mechanical engineering..."

"Y/N shows that with enough passion, you can excel at anything..."

@MotorsportEdits had created a masterpiece: a split-screen montage of their parallel journeys. On one side, Kimi's rise through the ranks to Mercedes F1; on the other, Y/N dominating F1 Academy while pursuing her degree. The video ended with their recent FaceTime sessions during Kimi’s post-quali interview, Kimi turning his phone to face the Sky Sports camera.

#KimiAndYN started trending on racing Twitter.

@RacingNews: "Remember when Kimi brought his phone to post-quali interviews just to stay on FaceTime with Y/N? 🥺"

@F1Academy: "From study buddies to racing's power duo! Congratulations to our champion @YN_LN on her promotion to F2!"

Quote tweeted by @MercedesAMGF1: "Our boy @KimiAntonelli's biggest cheerleader is moving up to F2! 🙌 #KimiAndYN"

The social media storm reached new heights when an old video surfaced from their Prema days:

"Can someone please explain the physics behind this overtake?" Kimi asked in the clip, while Y/N drew diagrams and equations on a whiteboard, both still in their race suits.

"Every time I explain physics, you somehow turn it into a racing question," Y/N laughed in the video.

"Because you make it make sense!" young Kimi protested.

@PremaRacing decided to join the fun, sharing a collection of photos: "Buona fortuna e buon viaggio! #KimiAndYN"

The photos showed their journey: studying together between practice sessions, celebrating podiums, Kimi and Y/N's high school graduation, Y/N watching Kimi's first F1 test from the pitwall while highlighting her engineering notes.

Ollie couldn't resist commenting:

@OllieBearman: "If I had a euro for every time @KimiAntonelli talked about @YN_LN during our Prema days, I'd be richer than Lewis Hamilton 😂"

Y/N finally responded to the chaos with a photo of her and Kimi from their Prema days, both asleep in the engineering room, textbooks and data sheets scattered around them:

@YN_LN: "Some things never change ❤️ Thanks for always believing in me @KimiAntonelli! 📚🏎️"

Kimi's heart skipped when he saw her post. He was in the Mercedes simulator when his phone exploded with notifications, but he immediately took a break to respond:

@KimiAntonelli: "From helping me understand physics to making history in motorsport. Proud doesn't even begin to cover it. Can't wait to share the paddock with you again ❤️"

Later that evening, during their regular FaceTime call, Y/N couldn't stop laughing about the social media storm.

"Have you seen the edits? They found clips I didn't even know existed!"

Kimi grinned, watching her sort through her F2 contract papers while simultaneously organizing her study materials. "My favorite is the compilation of every time I've talked about you in interviews. Apparently, I'm not subtle."

"When have you ever been?" she teased. "Remember when you brought me up during your first F1 press conference?"

"Because they asked about inspiration! And you're..." he paused, his expression softening, "you're the most inspiring person I know."

Y/N's cheeks turned pink. "Keep saying things like that and these fans might get ideas."

"Let them," Kimi said softly, watching her juggle her racing dreams and academic pursuits with the same grace she'd always had. "They're not entirely wrong."

The hashtag #KimiAndYN continued trending well into the night, with fans sharing more memories, creating new edits, and celebrating their journey. But for Kimi and Y/N, it was just another evening of FaceTime study sessions and race discussions, their bond stronger than any trending topic could capture.

@F1Community: "Find someone who looks at you the way Kimi looks at Y/N when she's explaining engineering concepts 😍 #KimiAndYN"

Attached was a recent photo from the paddock: Kimi leaning over Y/N's laptop, completely absorbed as she explained some complex engineering principle, his expression a perfect blend of admiration, affection, and awe.

Some things really never did change.

The Italian summer sun painted long shadows across the Antonelli family's garden as Kimi watched Y/N from the kitchen window. She was curled up in her favorite spot on the outdoor sofa, engineering textbook balanced on her knees, hair gathered in a claw clip. Even on break, some things never changed.

Last summer had been at her family's house – he smiled remembering how her mom had fussed over both of them, making sure they took actual breaks from racing and studying. This year, it was his family's turn to host, and his mother was equally determined to fatten them both up with endless servings of homemade pasta.

"She's still studying?" his mother asked in Italian, appearing beside him with fresh bread for dinner.

"Always," Kimi replied fondly. "But watch this."

He grabbed two glasses of fresh lemonade and headed out to the garden. The moment he sat beside her, Y/N automatically shifted, making space while never taking her eyes off her thermodynamics equations. It was a practiced movement, born from countless study sessions across years of friendship.

"Mum's making that pasta you love," he said, setting her lemonade within reach.

"The one with the pistachio pesto?" Y/N looked up, eyes brightening.

"Of course. She says you're too skinny from all this studying."

Y/N laughed, finally closing her book. "Between your mom and mine, we're never going to go hungry during these summer breaks."

It had become their tradition, these shared summers. Between the chaos of the racing season and now Y/N's university schedule, these precious weeks were their chance to just... be. No pressure, no cameras, no podiums to chase – just them, family, and the Italian summer stretching endlessly ahead.

"Remember last summer when your dad tried to teach me proper Italian, Tuscan?" Kimi asked, settling deeper into the sofa.

"And you kept mixing up your words?" Y/N grinned. "And the look on his face…"

"Hey, I've improved! Besides, you're one to talk – you still use engineering terms in Italian."

"That's different! Those are technical terms!"

Their laughter mingled with the sound of cicadas and the distant clatter of dishes from the kitchen. Y/N's textbook lay forgotten as she tucked her feet under herself, turning to face him fully.

"I love this," she said softly. "How even with everything changing – you in F1, me heading to F2, all the craziness – we still have this."

Kimi's heart warmed at her words. He knew what she meant. These moments were precious: the quiet afternoons studying, the family dinners where their parents swapped embarrassing stories about their karting days, the late-night gelato runs in his dad's old Fiat.

"You know," he said, watching the sunset paint her face in golden hues, "I was thinking about our first summer together, back in Prema. Remember how you made me help you study for physics?"

"You mean how you used every physics problem as an excuse to analyze race strategy?" she teased.

"It worked, didn't it? I understood downforce better after your explanations."

Y/N smiled, reaching for her lemonade. "And now look at us. You're living our F1 dream early, and I'm..."

"Being absolutely incredible," he finished firmly. "Racing, engineering degree, and still finding time to spend summers with me and my crazy family."

"Your family is my family too, you know that. Plus," she added with a mischievous grin, "your mum's cooking alone is worth the trip."

As if on cue, his mother's voice called from the kitchen: "Bambini! Dinner!"

They shared a look – they were hardly children anymore, but to their families, they'd always be those two kids from Prema, dreaming big dreams between study sessions.

"Five more minutes!" Kimi called back, not ready to break this moment.

Y/N leaned her head against his shoulder, a gesture so natural it made his heart ache with familiarity. "Your mom's going to come get us out here if we're late."

"Worth it," he murmured, watching the last rays of sunlight fade. "Besides, you need a break from studying."

"Says the one who spent three hours analyzing race data this morning."

"That's different!"

"How?"

"Because..." he paused, smiling. "Okay, maybe we're both workaholics."

"Maybe that's why this works," Y/N said softly. "We understand each other's drive."

The garden was growing darker, fairy lights automatically twinkling to life along the pergola. From the kitchen came the warm sounds of family life – his mother singing along to the radio, his father setting the table, the rich aroma of dinner wafting through the air.

"Ragazzi!" his mother called again, more insistent this time.

Y/N laughed, standing and offering him her hand. "Come on, before we get in trouble."

Kimi took her hand, but didn't immediately get up, just holding it for a moment. "Thanks for choosing to spend summer here again."

"Always," she squeezed his hand. "Where else would I want to be?"

As they walked toward the house, Y/N's textbook tucked under one arm and their empty glasses in hand, Kimi felt that familiar surge of gratitude. For all their success on track, for all their dreams coming true, it was these moments he treasured most – the quiet evenings, the shared laughter, the simple joy of having her here, making his family home feel even more like home.

"Race you to the table?" Y/N challenged, eyes sparkling.

"You're on, F2 driver," he grinned, both of them breaking into a run like they were kids again.

Some things changed – their racing categories, their achievements, their growing dreams. But this – their summers together, their understanding, their connection – this remained constant, as reliable as the Italian sun and as sweet as his mother's lemonade.

And as they collapsed into their seats at the dinner table, breathless with laughter while his parents fondly shook their heads, Kimi couldn't help but think that of all their victories, all their podiums and poles, this might be his favorite kind of winning.

"And crossing the line to take pole position in, Y/N L/N with a stunning lap!"

Kimi's celebration in the Mercedes garage was immediate and enthusiastic enough to draw knowing looks from his entire team. He was supposed to be preparing for his own qualifying session, but his eyes had been glued to the timing screens.

His phone was already in his hand: Kimi: POLE POSITION!! That sector 2 was absolutely insane! Call later? 🏆✨

Her reply came seconds later: Y/N: Learned from the best 😉 Good luck in quali! I'll be watching between engineering lectures ❤️

"Antonelli!" George Russell called out, grinning as he passed by. "Tell your girlfriend congratulations on pole!"

"She's not my—" Kimi started, but George was already walking away, laughing.

@GeorgeRussell63: Caught our rookie watching F2 quali instead of prep 👀 Wonder why? 😏 @KimiAntonelli @YN_LN #Busted

The tweet immediately went viral, with fans cooing over Kimi's obvious pride in Y/N's achievement. The F1 paddock's collective teasing had become relentless since summer break ended.

Later that evening, after both their sessions were done, Kimi settled into his hotel room for their nightly FaceTime call. Y/N appeared on screen, trophy visible in the background, textbooks already spread around her.

"There's my pole-sitter," he beamed.

"There's my Q3 hero," she countered. "P4! Kimi, that was incredible!"

"Thanks to your tip about the kerbs in turn 9—"

A notification interrupted them: @LandoNorris: @KimiAntonelli mate your face literally lights up every time you talk about @YN_LN 😭 Remember when you made us all watch her F1 Academy race during the drivers' briefing?

Y/N burst out laughing. "You did what?"

Kimi's cheeks reddened. "It was an important race! And they all wanted to watch anyway..."

Another notification: @OscarPiastri: Can confirm. He gives us daily updates about both her racing AND her engineering degree 😂 #Whipped

"The whole grid is against me," Kimi groaned, but he was smiling.

"At least Ollie has backup now," Y/N teased, adjusting her laptop so she could better see him while highlighting her thermodynamics notes.

"Speaking of Ollie—" Kimi started, but was cut off by yet another notification.

@OllieBearman: Throwback to Prema days when these two would "study" together but really just stare at each other for hours 👀 #IveBeenSayingItForYears Attached was a photo of teenage Kimi and Y/N in the Prema engineering room, books open but clearly lost in conversation

"We did not stare at each other!" Kimi protested.

"No, you just watch me study every single day," Y/N smirked.

The notifications kept coming:

@CharlesLeclerc: Remember when @KimiAntonelli asked for restaurant recommendations in every city because he wanted to "surprise a friend" during race weekends? 🤔

@CarlosSainz: The friend: @YN_LN 😂

"You asked Charles for restaurant recommendations?" Y/N's expression softened.

"I wanted to make sure you had good places to eat during race weekends," Kimi mumbled. "You forget to eat when you're studying..."

@MaxVerstappen: Called it! Pay up @SChecoPerez - told you he'd watch her quali instead of prep 💰

@SChecoPerez: Next time hide your phone better @KimiAntonelli 😂

Y/N was fully laughing now. "You've got a betting pool on us?"

"The whole paddock apparently," Kimi sighed, but couldn't help smiling at her joy.

@AlexAlbon: POV: You're trying to discuss race strategy but @KimiAntonelli is texting @YN_LN Attached was a video of Kimi smiling at his phone during a strategy meeting

"I'm never going to hear the end of this," Kimi groaned.

"Poor baby," Y/N teased, then her expression turned more serious. "Hey, did you see the analysis I sent about your sector 3? I think if you adjust the entry angle—"

Kimi's heart swelled as she launched into a detailed technical explanation, seamlessly switching between race engineer and student mode. Even with an ocean between them, she was still looking out for him.

@LewisHamilton: Y'all leave them alone - it's sweet 🙌 Some of us remember what it's like to be young and in... racing 😉 @KimiAntonelli @YN_LN

Their phones buzzed simultaneously with a message from Ollie: Group chat "Prema Days" Ollie: LEWIS KNOWS 😭 Even the 7-time champ sees it! Just kiss already!

Y/N rolled her eyes, but Kimi caught the slight blush on her cheeks. "We should probably study," she said, clearly trying to change the subject.

"Of course," Kimi agreed, already pulling out his own notes. "But first - that move into turn 1 for pole? Walk me through it?"

Her face lit up as she began explaining the technical aspects of her qualifying lap, and Kimi found himself smiling softly, completely absorbed in her enthusiasm. In the background, their phones kept buzzing with notifications, the entire F1 grid apparently determined to point out what everyone else could see.

@ValtteriBottas: Taking bets on how long until they officially announce... their "friendship" 😏

@MercedesAMGF1: The way @KimiAntonelli watches all her races from our garage when we're at different tracks 🥺

@ZhouGuanyu24: Don't forget how he explains her engineering projects to us during track walks! Never seen someone so proud 😂

But for Kimi and Y/N, wrapped up in their own little world of race analysis and study sessions, the teasing was just background noise. Their connection, whether across the paddock or across continents, remained as strong as ever – even if the entire F1 grid seemed determined to turn it into the paddock's favorite love story.

"Hey," Y/N said softly, interrupting his thoughts. "Earth to Kimi?"

"Sorry, just thinking."

"About how the entire F1 grid is never gonna let up on you?" she teased.

"About how lucky I am to have you in my corner, even from far away."

Her expression melted into something tender that made all the paddock's teasing worth it. "Always, Kimi. Distance doesn't change that."

@OllieBearman: I've been watching this romcom live since Prema and let me tell you, it only gets better 🍿 #KimiAndYN

This time, neither of them bothered to protest.

The blue light of the laptop screen illuminated Y/N's face as she finished highlighting another passage in her thermodynamics textbook. A soft snore made her look up at her phone propped against the desk lamp - Kimi had dozed off during their FaceTime call, his face peaceful in sleep. The sight brought an involuntary smile to her face.

It was typical of their study sessions these days. Between his F1 schedule and her F1 Academy races, late-night calls were often the only time they could catch up. He'd insist on keeping her company while she studied, claiming he was reviewing race data, but more often than not he'd fall asleep to the sound of her pen scratching against paper.

She closed her textbook quietly, though she knew the sound wouldn't wake him - he could sleep through anything after a long day at the track. As she started her bedtime routine, her mind wandered over their relationship, this comfortable space they'd carved out for themselves between friendship and something more.

The paddock gossip was relentless these days. Every shared smile, every supportive tweet, every time he watched her races from the Mercedes garage - it all became fodder for speculation. Even Ollie, who'd known them since their Prema days, wouldn't let up with his knowing looks.

Standing at her bathroom sink, Y/N caught her own reflection smiling at the memory of Kimi's proud face when she'd explained a particularly complex engineering concept earlier. He'd leaned closer to his camera, completely absorbed, that familiar warmth in his eyes that made her heart skip a beat.

The truth was, she knew how she felt about him. It was there in the way her day felt brighter when his name lit up her phone, in how naturally they'd gravitated toward each other since their junior racing days, in the comfortable silence of their study sessions. But timing was everything in racing - they both knew that better than most.

They were both chasing their dreams at full speed. He was making his mark in F1, living up to the immense expectations placed on Mercedes' youngest driver. She was balancing her engineering degree with her F1 Academy campaign, working toward her own F1 dreams. Adding another variable to that equation felt risky.

Climbing into bed, Y/N glanced one last time at her phone. Kimi had shifted slightly, his features soft in sleep, Mercedes team jacket still on. They had something special - something that had grown organically from shared ambitions and mutual understanding. Maybe that was enough for now.

Racing taught you patience, after all. Sometimes the best moves weren't the boldest ones, but the ones you waited for, setting them up carefully until the moment was just right. For now, she was content with their late-night study sessions, his proud smiles after her wins, the way he'd listen intently to her engineering explanations even when he was exhausted.

"Goodnight, Kimi," she whispered, ending the call. Whatever they were, whatever they might become, it was worth protecting. Some things didn't need to be rushed.

Her phone buzzed with a text from him, sent automatically when their call disconnected: Sweet dreams, engineer. Proud of you always. ❤️

Yeah, Y/N thought, settling into sleep with a smile. They were just fine exactly as they were.

here are some of the tags: @floweringanna, @hiraethberry, @holendernik, @oooom4arie, @burnhampeaches, @dying-inside-but-its-classy

let me know if you want to be added to the list :))

[wraithdance]

https://www.tumblr.com/wraithdance/765961917651140608/i-really-liked-your-explanation-of-the-whole?source=share

I am really bad at articulating my thoughts but I think about this a lot as someone who hopes to 1- major in neuroscience (i'm 18, going to uni next year) and 2- is trans. I know being trans is not the same thing at all as POC experiences with fic, very cognizant of that, but more to the point where I relate to the aspect of not being able to get over the like mental wall of seeing "neutral" readers as me? I don't know what my brain is doing when i read certain fics but sometimes i can't do it.

I feel like I should close read some of my favorite fic and least favorite fic to see if there are triggers I didn't notice on the first read. does that make sense or seem similar to what you experience? Again I know it's not the same thing, but like i am so curious as to what cis straight white people put in their fic that makes it so obvious that they're cis straight white.

I am sorry if this bothers you, really not my intentions, I am obviously a future brain nerd and i can't stop thinking about this

Congratulations fellow Nerd! You've activated my interest in Race theory and fandom writing from an academic perspective!

Writing reflects life and to answer this question properly, I have to talk about life shit to catch you up to speed, (this should help if you take a sociology or cultural anthropology class lmao) So, Welcome to:

Calvary yaps: Sociology & Intersectionality in fandom writing 101!

Disclaimer: I'm just a random bitch on the internet who loves English and the ridiculousness of social hierarchies, this will be referencing American social constructs and in groups only, with a focus on my experience as a Black American woman who reads a shit ton of books. Don't fight me if you hate my explanation, I will simply not respond.

Read my house rules before sending me an ask, I'm just being a dumb ass rn and word vomiting my interests, so pls i beg no follow up questions unless I say I'm open to em later.

Definitions to know:

Socialization: the act of preparing individuals to participate in society by learned social norms taught in ones family or social settings like school/friend groups. (one can be socialized in gender, race, cultural practices, etc.)

Social Hierarchies: systems of social organization in which some individuals enjoy a higher social status than others (in my opinion this is a lingering safety measure from lizard brain cavemen hunter/gatherer days)

Intersectionality: A term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw; The process of acknowledging the unique parallels a marginalized person experiences when they have more than one marginalization (ie: race, class, gender, sexuality, ability, size, etc.)

Matriarchal society: Social groups/family structures that center female figures as representatives of authority.

Implicit Bias: Unintentional bias a person may have towards a group or individual based on learned stereotypes, prejudices, perceptions based on another's background or state of being.

first, yes anon you are making sense! So the main question:

'What cis straight white people put in their fic that makes it so obvious that they're cis straight white?'

I've been mulling this question around in my head for a few days and tried to figure out how to articulate this without going into depth in Sociological theory, but I can't! So here we are lmao, this is long as fuck so TLDR here.

I've talked to a LOT of Black and PoC people over the last months because I thought I was the only one who felt strange or could tell immediately when a writer was white, despite doing the best job they could to be neutral.

Every person I spoke to agreed they could tell right away even if we don't share similar racial backgrounds.

The answer I've come up with to why that is, is because white people are socialized (taught by society/their parents how to behave) in a way many black and PoC people are not, so their reader characters will often act in a way PoC people have learned not to, so it flags for many of us.

I plan to answer another question about this at a later date so an example is with shit like:

An over deference to hyper masculine male characters (for PoC cultures like certain Black/Latine groups that are often matriarchal in nature and don’t ascribe to as many traditional gender roles, this is a flag), lack of interpersonal/familial connection, over meekness, no challenging of external factors so things just HAPPEN to the reader and lack of awareness of surroundings to name a few. 

A lot of the language of the irl world places white cis people from Western countries as the default and everyone else as others. In which, PoC people have learned to navigate the world very carefully with a hyper-focus on what will potentially bring them harm/scrutiny/ostracism especially in white dominant spaces.

That extends to when we have down time while reading or partaking in media smfh.

I'm sure you've had to learn the same as a trans person navigating cis spaces and it's the same with any marginalization! If you are disabled you have an awareness of able bodied people and their expectations, same with being fat amongst skinny people, etc.

The more marginalizations you have, the louder the rules of social hierarchies become. Which is why many marginalized ppl stick close to those who 'get it' in their social groups as an act of safety in numbers. (Many of us attempt to have strong family connection/harmony because of this)

So referring to your comment about being trans is not the same thing at all as POC experiences with fic, it is when you are a Black or PoC trans person! My angel face @/buttdumplin has spoken a lot about that as a Mexican transman reading fics by cis people!

(Please for the love of God no one come to me explaining how marginalized they are so they shouldn't be lumped in with the white ppl PoC are cognizant of, I will check myself into a psych ward)

So what does that gotta do with reading fics?

No matter what anyone thinks, it is damn near impossible to not frame your writing from the perspective of your lived experiences. It's why even when I try my hardest to make my characters not sound Black, they will always read that way because I have been Black all of my life!

And it doesn't just happen with race, go on tiktok and search male authors writing women. (or here's another article lmao)

Also ask a Southerner how they know someone has never been to the South and don't know shit about our accents when they write Graves. There are linguistic tells that flag off and why we flame actors who pick up southern accents for their roles.

(They chew on that terrible goddamn Appalachian or Louisiana Accent not realizing Southern accents come in many fonts.)

So when I read a fic about Kyle Garrick from a non black person, I can tell the writer is non black by linguistic implications, the things they emphasize about him and what they don't. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading fics from non black people, I can just tell!

And sometimes that means I, and other PoC's associate the Reader as a white OC while reading fics.

For example, all black people are not monolithic because of our cultural and regional experiences, but many of us share common threads. That's usually family involvement, colloquialisms, that stupid fucking cookie tin our elders put sewing supplies in...

Other non Black PoC people might share similar cultural practices, so when I'm reading fics from say a latina, I will cock my head and go wait.... are you...? And surely enough, they are a person of color. 

But even while reading from a non black PoC, I have to tread carefully because anti black sentiment exists in many cultures, which is why you'll hear me say Black and PoC/Non black people interchangeably.

It’s how the conversation of Implicit bias comes up, because unknowingly non white characters can sometimes be written with a hyper focus that makes them seem inhumanly one characteristic or with little to no background while the other characters are fully fleshed out.

like the character of color is just a stand in to move the plot around white characters forward. 

So all that to say, without sometimes meaning to white writers will always sound off to me in a way that my brain can pick up on in the most minuscule ways because my awareness of my blackness/otherness has been drilled in from birth and reinforced by social norms.

I can even tell immediately if a white person has been around only white spaces their whole life with the jokes they tell lol.

In the grand scheme of things the race of the writer is most important to me when something jarring comes up that slaps me away from the experience, it explains so much of the disconnect.

Every marginalized person has a threshold for what they can ignore as a ‘trigger’ before they’re ejected from reader inserts, mine is usually the association with racial historical happenings, certain gender dynamics, etc.

It's why I mention crying like a little bitch when I read my friend Jess's (Kyletogaz) TF 141 Hair series, Dragon’s (Dragonnarative-writes) Transferrable Skills, and even Xavi's (Buttdumplin) Piercing fic.

Reading those fics felt like safety and familiarity. It was a moment where I realized I could drop the mental load I had no idea I was carrying, where I was trying to prepare myself for potential emotional damage and just READ.

It's also why as a Black person who fucks with kink and sex work it's been so touch and go when navigating dark fics/kink fics/fics about Sex workers.

Because there are different rules of engagement non white kinksters have to be aware of and that leads to a point on the collective vs. Individual experience as a PoC in kink, that I’ll eventually make a post about at some point or another. Maybe…

So yeah I’m tired of yapping. I hope this long shit was enough of an explanation!! Thanks to my friends Kiko, Jules, Xavi and Folded for yapping with me so I could articulate this better!!

[redocity]

hello, i was wondering if you could do a smut about buck?

Maybe have it where reader has been feeling really insecure lately and buck is like “i’ll fuck you until i hear that you believe it yourself” like he wants her to know that he thinks she beautiful and he wants her to see it

if you can’t that’s totally fine ❤️

PUZZLE PIECES — E.BUCKLEY

you are buck’s person, and he’ll be damned if you doubt that for even a second.

evan buckley x fem!reader | 2.9k | smut | masterlist.

WARNINGS | 18+ MDNI, reader is insecure about herself and her relationship with buck, oral sex (f!receiving), unprotected piv, a lot of whining and general begging, creampie, couch sex

a/n — “i’ll put this in my drafts and upload it after work” she said, *proceeds to forget it exists for four days*

sorry about the wait 😭

The thought had crept in slowly, quiet at first, but lately, it seemed to be everywhere. You would be sitting on the couch, watching Buck’s profile as he talked about his day with that familiar smile and bright eyes, and it would be there, the nagging voice that whispered, He deserves better.

At first, you brushed it off, but each time he did something thoughtful or made you laugh, the voice grew a little louder.

Buck was… everything.

He was kind and funny, dependable and brave, always there for anyone who needed him. And in your quieter moments, you’d find yourself questioning whether you could really be what he needed.

What did you have to offer someone like him?

He seemed to pick up on your change in mood quickly. A few times, you’d caught him watching you, brow furrowed, as though he could see right through you. You’d just smile, trying to reassure him that everything was fine, but he knew better.

Buck was perceptive in a way that sometimes made you feel as though he could see things about you that even you didn’t know.

One evening, as you were lost in thought, he suddenly plopped down beside you on the couch, sliding in close. “Alright, talk to me,” he said, his voice gentle but firm.

You blinked, startled. “About what?”

His hand found yours, fingers warm and steady as he held onto you. “About what’s got you looking like that,” he replied, his thumb tracing soothing circles over your skin. “You’ve been so quiet lately. And it’s not like you. Something’s wrong.”

You swallowed, your gaze falling to your lap as you tried to find the words. “It’s… nothing, really.”

“Nothing?” he asked softly, still watching you, but you could hear the worry in his voice. “Babe, come on. We both know that’s not true.”

The truth tumbled out in bits and pieces, a little awkward and halting. You told him about the doubts that had been haunting you, how you’d started feeling like maybe he’d be better off with someone else. Someone who could give him more, be more. You didn’t even dare look at him while you spoke, afraid of what you might see on his face.

There was a long silence after you finished, and your heart pounded with nerves. You expected him to try to reassure you, to brush it off or tell you not to worry. But when he finally spoke, his voice was calm, filled with an unshakeable certainty.

“I mean this with all the love in the world,” he started, and when you glanced up, he was gazing at you with a look so fierce it almost took your breath away. “Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds?”

The incredulity in his voice caught you off guard. “Buck…”

“Hey.” He cupped your face, tilting it up so you couldn’t look anywhere but into those intense, unwavering blue eyes. “There’s no one on this earth who’s better for me than you. No one.” His thumb brushed over your cheek, slow and deliberate. “I’m not letting you go that easily.”

You felt your throat tighten, and he leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Don’t you know by now? I was made for you.” His voice trailed off with a kiss against your lips, soft and gentle, as though he were trying to convey what words couldn’t. “Every part of me belongs to you.”

And he wasn’t done, it seemed. He took your hands, held them to his chest as he pressed little kisses on each of your fingers, down to your palms, his lips gentle and warm against your skin. “Do you feel that?” he murmured, his hand covering yours over his heartbeat, steady and strong beneath your fingers. “That’s yours. Always has been.”

His touch drifted from your hands up to your face as he kissed you again, brushing his lips across your forehead, your cheeks, even the bridge of your nose. Each kiss felt like a promise, a wordless way of saying everything you hadn’t been able to believe.

You tried to speak, but he stopped you with a gentle shush, moving his kisses down the column of your neck to your shoulder, as if every inch of you was something sacred that he wanted to worship.

“I’m not stopping until you believe me,” he murmured against your skin, his hands steady and sure as he wrapped them around you. “I don’t want anyone else. Just you. Always.”

“I’m a mess,” you murmured as his lips worked to create a path of fire down your collarbone and along the swell of your breast, teasing the hemline of your v-neck with his lips. “I’m—”

“Perfect,” he said, his voice hoarse with desire as his mouth found the valley between your breasts and the sensitive skin of your chest. “You’re perfect for me.”

You shivered under his touch and a gasp broke free from your lips as he moved back up to your mouth, capturing it in another kiss.

He pulled away for a moment to look you in the eye, his breathing as ragged as yours, his gaze full of pure, honest desire. “You’re it for me,” he said, his voice a low, husky rumble. “There’s no one else I want. Just you. Only you.”

You opened your mouth to protest again, but he pressed his thumb to your lips, cutting off your words. “Don’t fight me on this,” he murmured. “Let me show you how perfect you are for me.”

With that, he crashed his lips to yours again, his tongue delving into your mouth as he encouraged you back against the couch. His hands were everywhere, his touch gentle yet urgent as he pushed your shirt up, his palms hot against your bare skin.

You arched into him, your body desperate for his touch, your hands seeking purchase on his arms.

He broke the kiss just long enough to pull the shirt over your head, his hands immediately returning to explore your newly exposed skin. “Beautiful,” he murmured, his lips trailing kisses down the valley between your breasts and along your stomach. “Absolutely beautiful.”

You shivered under his touch, your breath catching in your throat, every nerve in your body on fire. “Buck…” you gasped, the word more of a plea than anything else. “Please… I need…”

Buck’s eyes darkened slight with desire, his fingers hooking into the waist of your sweatpants and pulling them and your underwear down in one swift motion, baring you to him completely. “I know what you need,” he murmured, his mouth trailing kisses down your hip and inner thigh. “I’m going to give you everything you need, baby. Just trust me.”

He moved between your legs, his hands gripping your thighs and spreading them wider for him. A thrill of anticipation shot through you as his breath ghosted over your core, his lips following the path his breath had taken. “Beautiful,” he repeated, his voice a low, reverential murmur against your skin. "Absolutely perfect for me,”

He ran his tongue tentatively along the length of your slit, drawing a shudder from you, his hands gripping your thighs tight as he teased you, taking his time to lavish attention on every inch of you. You arched against him, your hips rolling, seeking more of his touch. “Please,” you gasped, your hands tangling in his hair, trying to pull him closer. "Please, Buck…”

Buck’s grip on your thighs tightened at your words, a low grumble rumbling in his throat. “Not yet, baby,” he said, his breath hot against your core. “I’m not done showing you how perfect you are.” He gave your hip a gentle squeeze. "Relax. Let me show you.”

With that, he licked a long, slow stripe up through your folds, his tongue flicking against your clit briefly before moving back down, drawing another shudder from you. He repeated the motion, over and over, his tongue working with purpose to show you how deeply he was lost in you, in the feel of you, the taste of you.

Every touch of his tongue was a jolt of pleasure, your nails digging into his scalp as you arched against him, your breaths coming in ragged gasps. “Buck—” you gasped, your thighs quivering under his grip. “Please, I can’t—”

Buck pulled away, his chin glistening with your arousal as he looked up at you, his eyes dark with desire. “You can,” he said, his voice a low, raspy rumble. “You will. Just a little longer, baby.” He teased a finger into your entrance, and your breath caught in your throat again. “I just need to make sure you’re ready for me.”

He moved back up your body, his lips finding yours again in a bruising kiss, his body pressing you down into the couch. You could feel the hard length of him, still trapped in his jeans, and you rocked against him, desperate for more. “Buck, please,” you gasped. “I need you, please…”

“Soon, baby,” he murmured against your lips, his hips rocking against yours, just enough to make you gasp again. “Soon. I promise.”

He reached between your bodies, undoing the button on his jeans and pushing them down his hips just enough to free himself, the hot length of him resting against your thigh as he kissed you again. “You’re so perfect,” he whispered, his voice a low, reverential murmur. “So perfect for me.”

His hands gripped your hips, angling them up to meet him, and he began to press into you, slowly, inch by inch.

Your eyes fluttered shut at the sensations, the stretch of him filling you, the heat of him surrounding you, the pleasure of the friction as he moved inside of you.

“Perfect,” he murmured again, his lips against your ear. “So goddamn perfect, god I was made to be with you like this,”

He began to move after a few stationary moments, his hips rocking against yours in a steady, measured rhythm, your bodies moving together in a desperate dance, the pleasure building with every movement. “You feel that, baby?” he gasped, his voice rough with desire. “You feel how well you moulded to fit me?”

You nodded mutely, your voice lost in a gasp as the pleasure built within you, coiling tighter and tighter with every stroke, every touch of his hands, every movement of his body.

“That’s how I know you were made for me,” he continued, his voice ragged with desire. “Your body fits with mine, like two pieces of a puzzle. You’re mine, baby, don’t ever forget that. You were made for me, and I’m never letting you go.”

His pace picked up, his movements becoming more urgent, more desperate, his breathing ragged with desire. “Don’t ever think you’re not perfect,” he whispered, his lips against your ear. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner, baby. And I’ll keep going until you say you believe me—”

His body was pressed against yours, his arms wrapped around you, holding you close, as if he couldn't bear to be apart from you for even a moment. You could feel every muscle of his body taut with tension, every line of him pressed against you.

“Don’t ever doubt how much I want you,” he panted, his voice strained with pleasure. “I’ll show you over and over again until you believe me, oh god, baby, I’m never going to stop needing you like this. Never.”

His thrusts were increasingly ragged, his rhythm faltering as his climax tried to sneak up on him, only for him to force it down so he could focus on you.

“Say you believe me, baby,” he gasped, his voice a pleading murmur against your skin. “Say you’ll never doubt what you mean to me, because you’re everything I’ve ever wanted— everything— and I can’t live without you, baby, I can’t—”

“I believe you,” you gasped, your own climax building within you, teetering on the edge of release. “I believe you, I do, Buck, I believe you—”

“Say you won’t ever doubt yourself again,” he pleaded, his voice hoarse with desire. “Say you’ll believe me when I tell you how perfect you are, because you are perfect, baby, and I will fuck you like this every day if that’s what it takes to make you believe it—”

“I won’t,” you gasped, your words punctuated by a gasp as your eyes squeezed shut from the stimulation. “I won’t doubt myself, I promise, but please, Buck, I need–”

“I know what you need, baby,” he murmured, his voice low and possessive. “And I’m going to give it to you. Over and over and over again, until you’re so full of me, and so sated that you’ll never doubt us again.”

His thrusts became more urgent, more desperate, his body shaking with the effort of holding back his own climax, as he sought to bring you to the edge, to push you over and bring you to the release you needed.

“Come for me, baby,” he pleaded, his voice ragged with desire. "I need to feel you come apart beneath me, I need it, baby, come on—”

You cried out at his words, your body shuddering with pleasure at the combination of his touch and his words, the pleasure within you cresting and crashing over you in a wave of ecstasy. Your body arched against him, your hands clinging to him as if your life depended on it, your breaths coming out in gasps.

Buck groaned as he felt you come apart beneath him, the feeling of you clenching around him drawing a guttural moan from him. “Oh god, baby,” he gasped, his voice hoarse with pleasure. “That’s it, oh god, baby, I’m right there, I’m right there—”

His pace quickly picked up, his thrusts ragged and desperate, his body tense with the need to join you. “I’m gonna fill you up, baby,” he gasped, his voice thick with need. “Gonna make you mine, gonna make sure you know you’re mine forever—”

His thrusts became erratic, his breath coming out in gasps as he rode the edge of his orgasm. “I’m gonna come, baby, I’m gonna come inside you, okay?”

“Yes,” you gasped, you hands desperately clinging to him, “yes, please, I need it, I need you—”

With a final, ragged gasp, he came hard, his body shuddering as his orgasm coursed through his torso and down his legs, spilling his release into you, white and hot and possessive in a way his words would never be.

He collapsed against you, his body trembling, his breathing ragged. “God, baby,” he panted, his voice thick with emotion. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

“I think I have a pretty good idea, actually,” you murmured, your own breathing still slightly ragged. You reached up to run a hand through his sweaty hair, your body still trembling with the aftershocks of your climax. “You’re damn convincing, Buckley.”

He chuckled at your comment, his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight against him. "I meant every word, baby," he murmured, his lips drifting up the column of your neck to your ear. "You're perfect for me, and I'll keep proving it to you until you believe it yourself.”

You hummed contentedly at his words, your body relaxing against him, boneless and sated. You could feel the warm, sticky aftermath of his release between your legs, and you tightened your thighs together involuntarily at the sensation. “I think I believe you,” you murmured, your fingers tracing small circles along his back.

He chuckled again at your words, his hands roaming your body, tracing a lazy path along your curves. "You're damn right you believe me," he said, his voice still rough with emotion. "And if you ever forget it, I'll just have to remind you again. Over and over and over...”

He rolled the two of you over, pulling you close against his chest and wrapping you in his embrace. "But for now," he said, his voice softer now, "I just want to hold you. Just feel you in my arms, baby.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his hand rubbing a slow, soothing circle on your back. "I love you, you know that?" he murmured, his voice gentle and full of tenderness. "I love you more than anything in this world, and I'm never letting you go.”

You smiled at his words, snuggling closer against his chest, your fingers tracing idle patterns along his skin. "I love you too, Buck," you whispered, your voice soft and full of emotion. "More than anything.”

[certifiedsexed]

I'm not sure where else to ask this but it seemed like an alright place. I believe something is wrong with me as I don't want to have sex. Or do anything even remotely sexual. I see posts and comments all the time of people talking about people and sometimes characters and how attractive and hot they are, but I just don't get it. I want to fall in love, and date and do all those romantic things. But I do not want to have sex, ever, and I feel like maybe I'm broken? Sex is always talked about around me as something everyone wants and will do one day, but it simply makes me feel sick and grossed out. Even the idea of masturbating grosses me out, it's sexual and I don't seem to like anything sexual at all. Although I live in a very small town, is it different in other places?

I've tried reading and watching, I've even watched stuff with just women in it! I tried masturbating but didn't get very far before feeling nauseous, I simply don't want to do anything sexual. It's very confusing and scary for me, I mentioned it to my mother and she said "You'll want it eventually, you just need to find what you like" but I never have and don't think I ever will. I've explored many different things but I always feel bored and put off at best, disgusted at worse. I don't care if others have sex, I'm not negative like that, I just don't want to ever be involved in it. Do you know what might be wrong with me? I don't want to bring it up to anyone again because they always look at me like something is wrong with me

- Rose

Hi, Rose! This is definitely a fine place to ask. (I love your name, btw.)

Let me start with saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with you for not wanting to have sex or do anything sexual. You don't have to have sex or be sexually attracted to other people. There's a name for that: it's called asexuality and its actually pretty common.

Not everyone has sex or "eventually wants sex". That's a very out-dated myth that has never been true.

I'd recommend looking for groups or even just researching asexuality online, Rose. There are so many other asexual people throughout the world and I think it'd be good for you to read/look into information on other people like you!

You don't have to force yourself to like sexual things. You can't force your sexuality to change. Especially if it's making you feel ill and you don't want to do it, that's not something you should be forcing yourself into just because others have told you that you should. There is no should with your sexuality.

Your mother is actually wrong. Not everyone likes sex! There's literally a sexuality for people who lack or experience varied sexual attraction [which is what you're talking about]: asexuality. There's also a word for the nausea and dislike you're talking about surrounding sexual things: sex repulsion.

You don't have to keep exploring things that make you feel ill. It's okay just to search out the things you actually enjoy or look forward to, like a romantic partner or even just focus less on sexuality itself and enjoy your life without trying to fix yourself.

There's nothing wrong with you, Rose. I'm sorry no one has been kind and taken you seriously but you're not broken or needing to wait for your sexuality to "kick in", your sexuality is fine as is.

I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions, Rose. <33

[nightwriter357]

The most important part of a relationship

This short one shot is inspired by a message I received about the challenges of navigating intimacy and feeling safe with your partner. I hope this piece brings comfort to those who need it. Please note there are mentions of intimacy-related anxiety and brief references to past pressures around physical intimacy.

When you're not in the mood for intimacy, insecurities from the past begin to surface. But Damien, ever patient and kind, reminds you that love is about more than physical closeness—it's about feeling truly seen and valued, just as you are. Obviously no smut in this one.

The night was peaceful, the kind of evening where everything felt unhurried. You and Damien had spent hours together at his place, talking and laughing softly as the world outside grew quieter. There was a comfortable closeness between you, a feeling that being next to him was exactly where you wanted to be.

As you settled back on the couch, Damien's hand brushed along your arm, his gaze soft and warm, a familiar spark in his eyes. The subtle shift in his touch told you where his thoughts were drifting, and normally, you'd be right there with him. But tonight, something in you pulled back, the idea of intimacy feeling heavy instead of inviting.

You hesitated, feeling a knot form in your stomach. This wasn't the first time Damien had initiated something, but tonight, that old anxiety crept in, and you weren't sure how to tell him. After a pause, you took a shaky breath.

"I... I'm sorry," you said, your voice a bit quieter than you intended. "I don't think I'm up for that... right now."

Damien's hand paused immediately, his expression softening. "Okay," he said, as though it was the simplest thing in the world, his tone gentle and understanding.

But despite his easy acceptance, a knot of worry began to twist in your chest. The old, familiar dread rose up, reminding you of things you'd been told—that sex was vital to any relationship, that a lack of it would only lead to distance. And for a moment, the fear that you'd somehow disappointed him clawed its way to the surface.

"I... I should probably leave," you murmured, the words spilling out in a rush.

His brow furrowed as he leaned back slightly, searching your face. "Why? Or... I mean, if you want to leave, then of course, but... do you want to?"

"No," you said, barely able to meet his eyes. "But... you know. I understand if you feel like it's kind of... unnecessary for me to stay."

Damien's gaze softened even more as he took your hand in his, his fingers lacing gently with yours. "I'm so sorry if I made you feel that way. I care about you so much, and I don't want you to feel like I'm just with you because we have sex."

Your throat tightened, that old fear making it hard to answer. "I know that, but still... it's important. And guys... have needs," you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.

He shook his head gently, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. "Sure, but that's not a need." His voice was steady, his thumb tracing a calming circle along your knuckles. "And besides, women have needs too, right? It's not all just... sexual."

You glanced up at him, the worry still heavy in your chest. "So... you'd be okay sleeping next to me all night without us... you know."

He smiled softly, his expression nothing but tender. "Thrilled," he replied, his voice full of quiet warmth. "Honestly. If that's what you want, that's more than enough for me."

There was a pause as he seemed to consider something, then he asked softly, "Do you feel like... maybe you have to said 'yes' sometimes, even when you don't want to?"

The question struck a chord, and you felt your cheeks flush as you nodded. "I don't know... maybe? It’s just that... in the past, whenever I didn’t feel up for it, it felt like it always caused tension, like I was letting them down." You hesitated, glancing away. "I just keep worrying that if we don’t… maybe you’ll get frustrated. Or that it’ll drive us apart if we don’t do it enough."

He frowned slightly, a look of concern filling his eyes as he took in your words. "You should never feel like you have to do something just to keep me around."

You speak up, almost without meaning to. "I guess… I’ve always believed that sex is supposed to be the most important part of a relationship," you say quietly, your insecurities slipping through.

Damien lets out a soft sigh, pulling you even closer. "For me, the most important part of this relation— is you," he murmurs, his voice full of warmth. "Everything else is just extra. You’re what matters most to me, nothing else even comes close."

The knot in your chest began to loosen as you listened, and you dared to ask, "So... you're not disappointed?"

He shook his head, smiling. "Not in the slightest. There are so many reasons I want to be with you, and intimacy is just a tiny part of that." He paused, as if making sure you understood. "The truth is, some of my favorite memories with you are just like this—the quiet, the closeness... That's what I love. Just being here with you is more than enough for me."

The anxiety eased a little more, and you felt yourself start to relax, a small wave of relief washing over you. But even as the tension began to ease, he looked at you again, as if making sure you felt completely safe.

"Would it be okay if I hold you?" he asked, his voice gentle, without a hint of pressure.

The thought of him holding you, just being close, was exactly what you needed. You nodded, a small smile forming on your lips. "Yeah... I'd like that."

With a soft smile, Damien pulled you into his arms, his hold warm and steady. You melted into him, letting the worries fade as he held you close, his hand gently rubbing your back.

"I love you," he murmured, his voice a soothing whisper. "And honestly, I'd be the luckiest person in the world just to fall asleep next to you tonight."

You felt a wave of warmth in your chest, the insecurities slipping away as you leaned into him, feeling safe. "I love you too, Damien."

He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, his hold on you tightening ever so slightly. 

[sordidmusings]

WIP TUESDAY - Sugar Daddy Headcanons with Shanks and Garp

Saw Schoute's wonderful art WIP and writing and wanted to join the fun! Have some ridiculous Blorbos as Sugar Daddies headcanons that have been on my backburner LOL I've got Shanks and Garp ready for y'all 🫡 They're pretty much done, I moreso have to fill out everyone else on the list 🤡 No warnings really! Just some allusions to spice but nothing explicit. Lots of silliness. I believe they're gender neutral but I'm going to tag as afab just in case because I fear it may be in the subtext since that's the perspective I wrote it from and the one people generally expect for sugar babies. Might be fun to subvert sometime by writing them with explicitly amab sugar babies. I will Ponder lol I'd also love to see what everyone is working on so please take this as a sign to post something of your own!!

The song I blame for everything (I love u Thot Squad):

“This fine old man, he played three

He can knickknack this coochie

With an Amex black card, get a girl a Benz

Reset and do it again”

Word Count: Shanks ~750, Garp ~400 (sorry about the favoritism Vice Admiral 😬)

Shanks

shanks absolutely pursued this type of relationship with you

Your pretty face and open smile snagged his attention but the way you easily met and fed his energy had him at you like a dog with a bone

He’s no stranger to helping people laugh their way into his bed, but the journey with you felt different. He took extra time simply because each moment with you was too good to keep from savoring

You didn’t hide your attraction at any point but he did appreciate that you would try and prod back at him in good humor to test his will and want

You found he had both in excessive abundance

It felt nice to have someone so attractive, established, feared, and adored seek your company and watch him become more interested with each minute he got of you. It also felt nice to see that while he certainly had an abundance of confidence he held no arrogance with you - he played no games in making you question his interest or assert his importance to you. He treated you as a person (one he mainly wanted to turn to his bedroom tenant but still-) and it made him feel more like a man than a myth for you both too

And holy hell did you like that man - he made you laugh even if at his own expense, he impressed you when he’d let some of his cunning slip through the jovial pirate shtick, he kept your interest with how he could entertain any topic you brought forward, he made you feel beautiful with the way his eyes and hands soaked you in, and he made you feel wanted with the way he treated everything about you with genuine interest. 

The only thing that made it better is how he made sure you wanted for nothing. The first night it was making sure you didn’t pay a cent for anything, you always had food and drink right before you realized you wanted it, his coat found your shoulders the moment you felt a chill, you found yourself in fresh air right when the heat and the noise of the bar became too much. 

After that it was an endless stream of trinkets, from priceless to silly but sentimental, all coming with letters that had you laughing, blushing, and swooning.

Every time he’d visit you (and it was at first as often as he thought he could manage but that managed to get even sooner and sooner because of his need for you) you’d indulge in each other like it was the first and last time

He stopped wanting anyone else - there were enough people across the seas he had to apologize to after explaining why he’d gasped the wrong name and they were never right to scratch the new insatiable itch he had anyway

When it dawned on him how much you had him wrapped around your finger, not just physically and financially but also mentally, emotionally, and he’s pretty sure even spiritually, he may have had a crisis (the crew was very torn between amusement and true wory watching it unfold, especially when the usual rum and patented Beckman Shoulder Pat with Nod didn't ease his turmoil)

It wasn't because he didn’t want to love you, but he truly never thought he’d ever find someone he wanted and needed the way he does you. It was such a foreign concept to him that he felt like the world had tilted and left everything slightly unfamiliar. Especially coming from a relationship he stapled together with riches. Sure, there was also joy, camaraderie, and intimacy holding it together, but he trusted less that someone such as you wouldn't find someone younger and more present to belong to.

If he couldn't be sure you'd want him, he'd try and find solace in you needing him, even if it was only for what he could afford you

When he finally told Beckman of his plight, he was slightly offended by the “it took you this long to figure it out?”

He’s currently trying to figure out how to convince you to live on his ship with him. He needed to let you know you’d be safe regardless of your experience level with the seas or battle. 

He’d bring the world to its knees if anything touched a hair on your head

Luckily for him, you knew. Anyone with eyes would from the way he smiles at you.

Garp

Garp was decidedly not in your plans. Yes, you wanted someone older, someone with wealth, someone with influence, someone who would take care of you, but you thought Gilfs were an urban legend told to see what face it would get out of freshies

You’re not complaining tho

He has certainly convinced you that the rarity of his kind just pointed to what a prized role it was to shack up with one

He was rough around the edges to be sure - brash and loud and stubborn - but he used all those traits to get you both exactly what you wanted

All your needs were met without you having to even think of them anymore (you were surprised that needs in the bedroom were included in that, but you supposed you shouldn’t have underestimated a man who could still punch apart battle ships, nor one with such a lust for eating)

Neither of you had any illusions of sweeping romance

You were more than happy with the care and respect that built between the two of you in your roles, growing with each act of service to each other, each piece of comfort, each unintended moment of vulnerability

Don’t get me wrong, the vulnerability ain’t common; most of your time is this man having fun watching you light up when he took you out and tossed his money around for you before taking you home to have multiple courses of dessert

You’ll never get over his gruff voice and curling accent - they helped your brain turn to mush while he coaxed and praised you through happily giving him everything he wants as a thank you for all his care

That voice along with all that burliness and age, which you thought would’ve been a turn off not on, ended up making you feel small yet so protected

Garp didn’t think he’d enter a relationship like this that went on so long and so easily but any reservation or second guessing was lost the moment he saw you and everything just felt natural

Tho he’d still make jokes that always make you groan about how you keep him young better than his troublesome recruits (that he is stuck between wanting to parade you around to see their jaws drop and wanting to keep you hidden away from any young bucks who may try to get your attention before he’s ready to let you go)

Thank you for reading 😘🤍🤍

Masterlist

[xxchaosjojoxx]

Misunderstanding (Penguin x reader)

A/N: I’m a sucker when it comes to Penguin and enemies to lovers kinda things. I hope you enjoy it like me while writing it. Happy birthday my lovely @penkura / @penkuramain

It was a boring and hot day, especially when you have cleaning duties with your crewmate Shachi. Since you joined, nearly 1 year ago, you never really talked much with Shachi. You were quite friendly with him, chatting casual stuff but nothing more. No personal things. It’s not like you wanted it this way. You were focusing on other things. Being the log keeper for the heart pirates, helping Law and the rest of the crew with everything you can or trying to impress a certain someone. You and Shachi were on deck, scrubbin the last dirt off the ship. You noticed that Shachi was glancing at you from time to time. Sometimes your eyes met and you smiled a little, but no one said a thing.

Shachi cleared his throat. “Hey Y/N, can I ask you something?”

You looked at him, clearly confused as to what he wanted to know.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Ehm...I noticed that you are quite talkative when it comes to Penguin.”

You gripped on the broom in your hands tightly. What is he thinking? “This isn’t a question, you know?”

“Yeah you right ehmm… You know Penguin is my best friend and he is important to me. And you talk a lot with him about different things. I don’t wanna sound rude or something. I uhm…was just wondering..how should I put it?”

You looked at him with an annoyed groan. “I’m running out of patience, Shachi.”

He shrieked a little. “Ok, fine. Do you hate him or something? Penguin, I mean.”

You blinked your eyes a couple times. Did you hear correctly?

A soft smile was gracing your lips. “Not at all. I’m actually quite in love with him, to be honest.”

The red-head shook his head. “Wait, are you for real? But you pick on him and totally show off to piss him off.”

You couldn’t help but scratch your neck, as soon as you noticed the warm feeling in your face. “I’m actually trying to impress him somehow so he would notice me. But I guess this came out totally wrong.” You chuckled and your eyes showed Shachi a hint of sorrow. “No wonder he ignores me all the time when I try to talk to him nowadays. And about the other thing. My brain can’t comprehend when I’m talking to someone I find attractive. That’s why I always say stupid things.”

It was quite for a while and you both stare at each other. “S-Sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine. You were worried about your best friend. I can understand this. Don’t worry, oh and thank you. We make a great team.” You showed him a big grin which he returned.

With fast steps you entered the polar Tang again, as soon as you went through the door you noticed Penguin, standing or more hiding beside it. Even so you couldn’t see his face clearly you could see that his mimic was different than usual. Like he feels uncomfortable. You noticed that he was a little red on his face. Maybe he had a fever. You wanted to ask him, if he felt alright or if you could do something for him but you remembered Shachi’s words and shook this feeling off. So you decided to give him some space for now. With a smile you walked past him. “Hey Penguin. We just finished, Shachi is still outside.” And with that you left both of them.

Shachi was soon beside Penguin. He noticed his friend's behavior and the look on his face. “You overheard our conversation?” Shachi asked while patting the young man’s shoulder.

He gulped while hiding his face more under his signature hat. “Yeah. But is it really the truth? Y/N was pretty unfazed after seeing me.”

Shachi hummed in agreement. “Yeah you’re right. I’m not sure either. It’s hard for me to tell if she is actually telling the truth or not. We’re not close enough for me to figure it out.”

“Go on ahead, Shach. I need some fresh air.” It was time for him to cool down. Penguin wasn’t sure if it would be better if this turns out to be a lie or not. He didn’t wanna overhear it by accident and now he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

After a few days passed, no one showed any different reaction. The words and your smile after telling Shachi that you are in love with him, made his heart jump. It was an excited feeling and Penguin was still unsure about it. He tried to read you. He wanted to know if you were messing with both of him or not. No one was close enough with you and even so he didn’t wanna ask someone about this kinda thing. It was too personal and without your consent it was a no-go.

After dinner Penguin went out on deck, standing near the railing and enjoying the view and light breeze. A cough was heard and Penguin turned around. There you were, standing in front of him. You waved at him shyly and he waved back automatically.

With a grin you took a step towards him, at this moment he noticed that you were holding a spear in your hand.

“I thought about trying out different weapons. And I think a spear could fit my battle style.” You said and swung the spear, trying to impress him. Penguin couldn’t say anything. He was too stunned about the falling sun behind you, highlighting your body, your face and especially your smile in this radiant light. Your eyes were sparkling like stars.

You were quite happy that he was looking at you, not ignoring you or walking away. Until you slipped away and ended up falling flat on your face. A loud “bang” was heard and you couldn’t even lift your head properly. Your hands were covering your face. “G-Guess spears won’t fit my battle style. Hehe…he..” You groaned and tried to play it cool. But your voice was shivering and you felt like dying from embarrassment. “I’m not hurt by the way. I’m just…dying hopefully. Can I throw myself out in the ocean?” Your voice was getting quieter til it became a whisper.

Penguin had a mind blowing realization at this time. Y/N was right, you did tell the truth. He and Shachi thought that you would mess with him out of fun, but you really did try to impress him. He remembered every single time. The one where you cook their favorite dishes, telling them it was easy to make it. He felt kinda angry at this, but now he knows, you did tell it, to show that you were willing to do it for him and that no one needs to worry, that those dishes take a lot of time and preparation. Or the one time where you suggested doing cleaning duty alone. “I am super fast. I don’t need a helping hand.” You wanted him to have some free time or duty with Shachi, not showing off that you are better without him.

All those little things you did and said, wasn’t for him to feel bad and useless. You tried to reassure him, support him, giving you some gift of appreciation with it. You always had a smile on your face whenever you saw him. A bigger smile when you were talking to him.

You were happy seeing him, talking with him. Not because you made fun of him. As he was looking at you, he felt stupid that he took it the wrong way. Did it take that long for him to notice you? Seeing you? The real you? He remembered your radiant appearance just a few moments ago and couldn’t help but smile softly. Why did he never realize that your smile was so beautiful? He took a few steps towards you, closing the distance and holding a hand towards you for you to grab it.

“I’ll help you.” Penguin said and your hands moved away, you were looking at him with a pout and beautiful big eyes. “Thanks” You said softly and were holding his hand.

As he helped you up off the ground, he pulled you into a short and quick kiss.

After realizing what was happening, you couldn’t comprehend a sentence.

You tried to stutter some words but couldn’t help it. He still held your hand, chuckling. “Maybe we should talk. What do you think?”

He asked and for the first time ever you got a glimpse of his eyes. “Sure.”

[leona-hawthorne]

My hogwarts house is hufflepuff and my favourite class is care of magical creatures :)

also i hope you don’t mind if i send a couple asks for the different things(? like the espresso etc sorry i’m dumb sometimes)

hey!!! you're not dumb bb, that's a totally valid question! you're welcome to send in as many requests as you want :) thank you for requesting, i chose theo for you—hope you enjoy 💌

1k celebration navigation

ミ★ LATTE ART... theodore nott

Out by Hagrid’s hut, you carefully balanced an armful of warm pumpkin pastries wrapped in a soft linen cloth, the sweet, spiced aroma curling up in the cold autumn air. Each step crunched in the frost-kissed grass as you tiptoed closer to Buckbeak, who eyed you curiously from his tether.

Your Hufflepuff scarf slipped down as you leaned over, and you pushed it back up with one elbow, squinting in concentration. Buckbeak tilted his head, his great orange eyes blinking with anticipation as you held up a pastry, your quiet offering to the majestic creature before you.

“Easy there,” you whispered, voice barely above a murmur. Buckbeak’s sharp beak was mere inches away, his feathers rustling in the faint breeze as he dipped his head toward the treat. You held your breath, smiling as he gingerly nibbled at the pastry, utterly enchanted by the way he ate so delicately for a creature so fierce.

“You here for detention, too?” a low voice drawled from behind.

Startled, you jerked around, clutching the pastries close as if they were some illicit contraband. Standing a few feet away, hands in his pockets and one brow raised, was Theodore Nott. A faint smirk tugged at his lips, his blue eyes glinting with a mix of curiosity and amusement. You swallowed, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

“Oh, no,” you stammered, clutching the linen-wrapped treats a little tighter. “I, um… I’m not here for detention.”

“Really? And here I thought Hufflepuffs didn’t break the rules.” He nodded toward the pastries and Buckbeak, a teasing gleam in his eye. “Guess I’ve been proven wrong.”

You laughed nervously, shifting on your feet as your face grew warmer. “I—well, I just thought Buckbeak deserved some treats for being so well-behaved in class earlier… it’s not really breaking rules… is it?”

You felt shy as he looked you over, amusement dancing in his eyes. Though his expression was soft, there was a certain intrigue behind it, like he’d discovered a particularly interesting book on a forgotten shelf. “Depends,” he murmured, his voice low and edged with a subtle tease. “Does feeding dessert to a hippogriff happen to have any ulterior motives?”

His words made you laugh, the tension slipping away, and you tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Not at all. It’s not like I was bribing him for something. And it’s just a one-time thing, I swear.”

“Good to know,” he replied, his tone softer, and his gaze didn’t leave yours. “What’s your name?”

You hesitated, the lingering warmth on your cheeks flaring anew. “It’s Y/N.”

He gave you a slight nod, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “Well, Y/N… I’m Theo.”

“I know who you are…” you admitted, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. The blush on your cheeks intensified, and you looked down, too flustered to meet his eyes.

His smirk grew, and he chuckled softly. “Ah, you do, do you?”

You managed a small nod, glancing up just enough to catch the way he was watching you, an unreadable warmth in his gaze. In that moment, you felt it—a flutter of something new, something curious and exciting. 

Buckbeak, having grown impatient, let out a gentle squawk, pulling both your attention back to him. You offered him another pastry, and Theodore watched, an amused smile still playing on his lips.

“I think he’s got you wrapped around his claw,” he remarked, gesturing to the eager hippogriff.

You laughed, feeling a sense of ease despite the flutter of nerves. “Maybe just a little.”

Theodore stepped closer, lowering his voice as if sharing a secret. “Next time you come out here to spoil Buckbeak, you should save me a pastry. I wouldn’t mind a taste of your little misbehavior.”

You blinked, the fluster returning as you realized he was flirting with you. “I… I will,” you promised, your heart fluttering.

With a final smile, he turned to leave, but not before glancing back at you. “See you around, Y/N.”

You watched him go, your heart racing with the thrill of the unexpected encounter. As Buckbeak nudged your hand, eager for more treats, you couldn’t help but smile, already planning your next visit to Hagrid’s hut and wondering what it might be like to spoil more than just the creatures.

[tyrantisterror]

At Sea Without a Map pt. 21

There are a lot of different answers to Calibani's question that you could give, and to a degree they're all true. As the first thing capable of speech you've met, she's a valuable source of information. And, well, she's also a creature that, thanks to natural selection encouraging certain adaptations, is specifically built to attract human beings. A part of you wants to write off your feelings for that - to mock and belittle them, to chastise yourself for being so foolish and falling for a rather tired ploy, maybe even to hate yourself a bit for being soft.

But that's not what you end up saying.

You take a moment to compose your thoughts, aware that Calibani is watching you carefully. When you finally do speak, the words flow out of you easily - not in an explosive burst, but in a calm and endless push and pull like the tides.

"You had me pegged right when you met me, Calibani. I'm lonely. I've been out here for who knows how long, and until I met you, it was just... empty. The only company I've had is myself, and sometimes the conversations I have with that person are..." You look at your compass. "Divisive."

You shuffle a bit in your seat. "Then I met you, and you were nice. I mean, yes, you tried to eat me, but you were pleasant about it, and I knew it was a trap but I went along with it anyway, hoping I was wrong." You gaze deep into her eyes. "Loneliness is a need too, just like hunger and thirst. And I need someone to talk to. And I thought, maybe, if we could get past the fighting and get to know each other - really understand each other - we might be friends. Then I wouldn't be alone anymore."

As you finish your confession, you look into Calibani's eyes again. You're not sure if she has tear ducts, but her face looks on the verge of crying, and yet there's unmistakably a smile forming on her lips. Her pupils dilate, and she looks at you with affection.

"I'd like to be friends too," she says quietly. "You're not the only one who's lonely, after all."

A comfortable silence, the first you've ever shared, falls between you two, and you simply stare and smile at one another for a moment, finally at ease. Then Calibani looks down at her food. "I'm sorry I didn't appreciate this more," she says as she goes to eat it. "You worked so hard to get those spices, after all."

"It's alright," you say with a smile as you begin to eat your own dinner, which is now a rather lukewarm room temperature. "Friendship's better than spice anyway."

As the two of you eat, you think of your next move, and consult your compass.

[adimouze]

Girl, I saw a post of yours about Max and Daniel's relationship some time ago (yesterday?? I have no idea but) I went into a monologue in my mind and I need to get this out.

I started following F1 in 2016 (because of Max) so I saw the dynamic of these two over all these years, I always loved every PR video they made for the team because genuinely these two always had great chemistry together, Max was the withdrawn boy formed by his father's upbringing and Daniel as always a pure charisma, those who looked from the outside might think that this combination wouldn't work, but they were completely wrong. Daniel wasn't intimidated by Max, he saw that shy and aggressive teenager entering the world of Formula 1 and decided that ok, he would be his protector from now on.

Their relationship as teammates on the track was chaotic. Max would occasionally get into trouble because of his impulsiveness. This makes me realize today that Daniel had all the patience in the world with that petulant teenage Max. Nowadays, he says that he likes to think that he had a good influence on Max back then, and believe me, he did. Max wouldn't be the same today without Daniel. He wouldn't have the same lightness and sagacity. He wouldn't know what it's like to reach out to an opponent and admit that sometimes things are the way they are.

I always liked the duo that the two formed on the grid, but it was after Daniel left Red Bull that I started to admire their relationship even more. It was the first true confirmation that yes, they genuinely liked each other, they were friends. 2019 was the first year in which neither of them had any more obligations to be friendly and cordial with each other to keep up appearances, and even so, they never stopped interacting. Daniel always interrupted Max's interviews to make a joke or two and Max joined in so easily. The ease with which these two enter their own bubble is admirable. No other driver duo has ever had that.

The question is, what do the two have, this dynamic, relationship, neither of them has it with anyone else on that grid, Daniel is friends with many drivers, Lando, George, Alex, Charles, but no relationship comes close to what he has with Max, Daniel's last week in that paddock revealed a lot to us, more than we would ever know if he hadn't found himself in that situation, Max genuinely cares about Daniel, in his own way, and that seems to please the other side a lot seeing as how Daniel respects him after all these years, we don't even know half of what their relationship is like but every time we find out something we feel how sincere it is.

sorry for my english mistakes girl (in case you got this far) it's not my first language but I needed to put my thoughts into words :)

im assuming it's this ask? lemme know if not x

sharing with no notes and your english is fine, my friend!!

[gem-de-lune]

Helloo! Thank you for all the readings ever since and for the update today! My question is abt you if its not too intruding. If it is, you could just ignore this! That’s totally fine i just got curious because i am a believer of energy and vibrations but i don’t know the specifics of it yet such as to how to communicate or protect them and sorts. I just think tarot is just one way to go around this.

Anyways, how did you get into tarot reading? And how are you doing your practice to improve your intuition(?), if thats the right term for it😅

Aside from helpful and hopeful, I find your readings interesting. I feel like you’re more attuned to people’s energy as opposed to the other readers i see online. You seem more detailed because the other readers comes off as general when they do read like it’d make me think ‘isn’t that just common sense?’

I didn’t know before that people you read can give permission or not if they like 😲 Maybe it’s because it’s the first time I’ve seen a daily reading of someone but how exactly does that work. To what part of the person exactly are you asking? Also, I remember one of your readings where you asked all members and that there were members who were much more open and quicker to respond. I don’t know why but i just imagined little souls of them lining up and all 😭

Oh, when you read do you see a vision on your head or do you hear words? And how does your practice differ from others?

Sorry i thought I was going to ask a few questions only but more questions pop up as I typed this haha. I’m actually curious more than I thought. Again if all this feels too intrusive you don’t have to answer! Sometimes, my curiosity just gets to me.

Thanks again btw! We really appreciate you 🧡

Oooooh i will answer to the best of my ability since a few of yall have been asking something similar and this ask has all those questions compiled lmao.

A- I got into Tarot by essentially ordering a deck and just started doing personal readings for myself right away. I used Tumblr and TarotForum.net (not active to use anymore, but you can research card combinations here, and it is very helpful). I highly recommend just starting with the regular Rider Waite deck bc you need to learn what the most generic cards mean to make things easy later.

B- As for how i practice and improve, as I got more familiar and understanding, i realized there were basically multiple ways to connect energetically for a tarot reading. you could connect to a higher power/diety, or to an individual's subconsious/energy. From there, I began meditating- specifically chakra training, awareness meditations, and Kundalini Awakening Meditation to train my intuition and spiritual connections. At that time, I was connecting to what I call "the universe" mainly. However, the Universe is very finnicky. Sometimes they answer me, and sometimes they do not, and there is no way of me forcing it. I did not realize this until a bit later ofc bc sometimes when you start out, you are not sure of how you should be feeling or what feelings to trust.

But yeah so as I worked on my Chakra training I kind of naturally gravitated more towards people rather than only the Universe, because it makes for a more accurate palatable reading in simple human terms. The Universe and Dieties will always try to tell you more profound and big picture things, but sometimes you do not need all of that. You just need the most simple explaination. So in most instances, I request for the Universe to assist- but only assist rather than getting all my answers from them. And I ask them to be simple and specific on purpose otherwise the message is way too philosophical and weird bc they are trying to tell me the grand plan of things rather than the details- which is what Humans are more focused on. Reading by connecting to the individual makes it more personable and easy to understand.

C- Now as to how I connect with individuals, I do this in about 3 steps that vary. 1st, I make sure I am able to focus my mind. I do this through some breathing exercises that take a few seconds to a minute, and maybe a short meditation. In particular i keep my eyes closed and have a ritual of blowing onto my deck (idk why it just centers me) then I inhale with it against my nose, then blow out one more time with my head tilted up. I like to visualize sending out shimmering wind that travels to where it needs to be and sends me there. At this point, and let's use Seunghan for example, i will see the person I am connecting to.

They could be doing anything, walking down the street, in a cafe, at home, etc. In Seunghan's case he is usually walking around on the streets or at a public space sitting like at a cafe. Maybe I will call out to him or tap him on the shoulder. He looks up and I hold out my hand. Whether he takes it or not is the permission. That is if I can even get that far though.

I can be stopped at any point. Whether I am unable to visualize the air I blow out travelling, or unable to see the person I attempt to connect to, or maybe i try to force it thinking it's me and the person looks weird (has a weird smile, weird expression, or looks warped), or even if they simply don't acknowledge me at all. All of these are the permission indicators. How far I get insidcates how willing they are to share anything at all.

In the case of the last vibe check attempt, I was stifled from just the air blowing. I thought maybe I was not focusing, so I tried more after meditating, but rather than the normal enviornment I was met with a door to which I knocked on to request entry. Upon entering, I was met with some darkness and just weird expressions from Seunghan and one other member I could not place. But all were just standing around staring at me like an intruder. I could not see all their faces which means some did not want me to know what they were feeling at all. So I decided that was a no and I needed to go for now.

Now when it comes to visualizing like this, it is so much faster, more fleeting, and less detailed than what I am describing. It's the vagueness of a fleeting dream almost. Which is why meditating and being focused is important bc every small sensation is a factor that changes the enviornment.

When I do the Vibe checks for all members- I've mentioned before about how "so and so wanted to go first" lol and it IS kinda similar to tiny voices in my head but since it's energy it's just a vibe. I'll ask "who wants to go first" and in my head like a mantra it'll be like "Sohee Sohee Sohee Wonbin Wonbin SOHEE SOHEE Eunseok SOHEE" and some will back off and wait their turn and others will go back and forth for a while before I get annoyed 🥴. The event is similar to when you have a song stuck in your head. The ones that usually care the least about the order are Anton and Sungchan, also sometimes Shotaro. Eunseok likes to be first a lot and so does Wonbin. Sohee it just depends. I usually do Seunghan first regardless so he is never part of those fights lol.

Anyways a lot of this is basic intuition and rather than really detailed visions it is just feeling. You know like how you meet your friend's eyes and you immediately know what they are thinking or wanting to say? It is like that. As to how I came to know how to do that I have absolutley no clue- it is just something I eventually started doing naturally when doing readings and it has been very accurate ever since.

I hope this makes sense lolol i kinda went too in depth but I hope this helps for anyone interested in learning to read tarot in this method. You have to be a very empathetic person though and remember to use protection like sage or crystals bc some people's energy lingers on you and it's not always good at all....

Also be careful if you just connect to dieties bc not all of them are good. USE PROTECTION!!

Hope this was insightful! If anyone has further questions about this, feel free to leave a comment? I'll answer them.