#sorry that’s not the point of the ask I was just musing

[myhouse-mychair-myfics]

Building Bridges

Part 2 of Suppressed Bond

Ridoc Gamlyn x Marked!Reader

“You are still mopping over your princess, pay attention,” Aotrom chastised inside Ridoc’s head as he once again lost focus in class, daydreaming about you.

“Since when do you care?” Ridoc fired back, “besides, she’s not a princess.”

You weren’t. The daughter of a former Tyrrish lord, yes. Not a princess, but close enough in title that he liked to call you that. Liked to imagine you if you weren’t forced into the harsh hell that was this godsforsaken military academy. Liked to imagine the life you could have lived if not for the fate of your family.

“Demoting her doesn’t seem like a good first step in mating her.” Ridoc felt Aotrom’s laughter in his chest more than he telepathically heard it.

“Would you piss off?” Ridoc thought, scribbling notes in frustration.

“If you want any chance of getting near her in the sense you mean-“

“-She’s more than just a quick-“

“I am viscerally aware of all the things you feel for her, both romantic and otherwise. If you want to win her esteem and attention, you’ll have to get through her father of a dragon, first.” Ridoc imagined Aotrom preening at the next part. “For that, you will need my help. So no, I will not piss off.”

“Had to make it about you, didn’t ya?”

“Do you want my assistance or not, Gamlyn? Or are you content for Andell to scorch you on sight?”

“Cadet Gamlyn!” Professor Devera called over Battle Brief, “If I could have your attention, please? It would be greatly appreciated.”

“Sorry.” Then, to Aotrom, “Look what you did!”

“What I did? I am nowhere near. I remain an innocent bystander.”

“Innocent my ass,” Ridoc grumbled under his breath.

“Psst,” you whispered from your seat beside him, bumping him with your elbow, “what’s going on?”

Ridoc mimed the beating of leathery wings with his hands, pointed at his head, then made the yapping signal, eliciting a giggle from you.

Ridoc would swear in that moment, that sound, changed the shape of his eyes to hearts. He prided himself on making those around him laugh, part of his charm, he’d always said. But your laughter? The sound of your amusement? The fact that he could pull that sound from you after all you had suffered throughout your short life?

It was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard.

And he’d do whatever he could to hear it again.

“Oh brother,” Aotrom complained inside his head, “this is going to be a long handful of days.”

Had Violet not been up to whatever weird and secretive shit she’d been dealing with from a day to day basis, she would likely have had something smart to say about him pouring over a book.

Colonel Kaori’s Guide to Dragonkind, to be specific.

“How do you get another dragon to like you?” Ridoc thought aloud, absently.

“If you want advice, you can ask me.”

“And,” Ridoc spoke to his dragon aloud, a fun little habit he’d unwittingly picked up from you, “you have made it clear you don’t have any interest in being helpful.”

“You are serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Yes!” Ridoc exclaimed, tossing his hands up in the air.

“…Tell me about her,” Aotrom said.

“Seriously?”

A grumble of draconic impatience in his head.

“Well, she’s beautiful-“

“-By human standards, sure.”

“Ass.”

Aotrom said nothing, but there was a feeling through their bond that had Ridoc imagining the dragon sticking his tongue out.

“She’s smart, brilliant even. Violet doesn’t talk about it in any detail, but she was apparently indispensable during that battle in Resson-“

“Her having seen combat so early, with that relic on her arm, is likely not going to help Andell’s protectiveness…” Aotrom mused, sounding as if he really was thinking through the problem.

“I just want… I just want her to be happy. To see her smile. Make her laugh. She isn’t just another girl to me, you know. She’s… I… I’m in love with her.” Ridoc could hardly breathe, having finally voiced the inkling of a thought that had hung in his head for weeks.

Ridoc heard Aotrom hum in his head. “Wait,” he said, “you actually are going to help me?”

“As much as I enjoy getting my amusement at your expense, Gamlyn, I enjoy working with you, rather than against you. I also… happen to find this cause a worthy one. Of course I’ll help you.”

“Hey, uh, thanks,” Ridoc said.

“Keep the sappiness out of it.”

“Sure thing,” Ridoc laughed, “Sure thing.” He felt ghosts of dragon laughter, but let it go. “Alright, dragon expert, pun intended by the way, where do we start?”

“Are you alright?” Andell’s soft voice filled your head with his usual check in after most of your year filed out of the flight field. You did not have anything to compare it to, but something in you felt Andell’s voice was uncommon among his kind.

Someone had ambushed you leaving breakfast this morning. You had a bruise on your cheek Andell had already seen and fussed over, demanding to know if any rider was responsible so he could take it up with their dragon. You’d told him truthfully that it was one of those infantry thugs Colonel Aetos had been sending and he’d been summarily dealt with.

“Besides all the threats upon my life? Great!”

Andell snarled, his front claws churning the dirt beneath him.

“Not the time for jokes about that, noted.” You switched into mental communication for the next part. “How’ve you been doing? I know you know what I mean,” you thought, kindly but firmly.

A mental sigh reached you as Andell lowered his head as you approached. “This is a decent day. You?”

“I’ve had better ones in this regard. Two days ago would have been a family birthday.”

Andell’s head reached the right height as you held your hands out to either side of his face. Carefully, you held your foreheads together and just breathed. Your go-to way to comfort each other.

You smiled at him as you sat down at his feet, resting your back against his leg. You could feel Andell sigh contentedly as he curled his front around you. The two of you alone in the field, resting your weary souls together.

You were not alone in the field for long. Andell sensed it just slightly before you. He shifted his leg, protecting you between his claws as he raised his head slightly in the direction of crunching dirt.

“Hey!” A familiar male voice called, “funny catching you guys out here!”

Andell’s growl rumbled in his throat, but you placed a hand on his leg.

“Play nice,” you said, “it’s just Ridoc and Aotrom.”

Andell’s attitude did not change.

“Relax, Ridoc’s a… friend. You can trust him,” you whispered, shifting fully into telepathic communication for the next part, “I know you’re jumpy after everything but my friends aren’t part of the whole Post-Resson shit.”

“Not what I’m worried about…” Andell grumbled, his gaze flicking between Ridoc and Aotrom. “And watch your language.”

“Very funny,” you said sarcastically, earning a chuff from Andell.

“Ridoc,” you addressed, moving beyond Andell’s protection a fraction. Enough that Ridoc could reach you without getting his head bitten off, but not enough for Andell’s anxiety to spike. “What brings you by?”

“Well,” Ridoc drawled, crossing his arms behind his head as he flashed his boyish smile, “you two always seem to have fun sitting out here. I’ve had a lot on my mind, I thought it might be nice to sit out here too! Take the edge off.”

“A lot on your mind,” you said, amused, “that can’t be good. Like what?”

“Like,” Ridoc began, but then his eyes finally lit on your cheek, at the fresh purple bruise there. “Like who the hell did that to you.”

“Challenge accident, my fault” you said, easily, the go-to lie.

“Respectfully, Princess,” Ridoc said, a bit of outrage mixing with his voice, “that’s horseshit.”

“Ridoc?”

“I was at challenges with you, I watched all your fights. No one hit you there. You never let them.”

Shit. That’s right.

The dragons were silent as they watched you both, Andell taking an ever so slight step forward. He didn’t care if Aotrom was right there, if Ridoc proved to be a threat to your safety, to the fragile happiness his beloved human had to chisel out of this place with a pickaxe, he’d tear the boy to shreds.

Instead, Andell was surprised when he heard Ridoc snarl, “who did this to you?”

“Ridoc, it’s fine,” you said, “I’m putting a salve on it and it’s healing just fine. I don’t need you to-“

“Who did it?” Ridoc asked again and you fell silent. You’d never seen Ridoc this angry. Both dragons were shocked too, their heads pulled back, eyes wide.

Sensing your unwillingness to answer, Ridoc continued his tirade. “Is it some bullshit about your family? Of all the shitty things to do. I’ve seen the other marked ones beat up as well. This is about that isn’t it? You guys are being targeted.”

“Ridoc-“

Ridoc was lost in the other world that was his outrage. He was furious at the injustice of it all and said as much, “Why the fuck isn’t leadership doing anything!? You guys are already forced to be here! What more blood do they want!”

“Ridoc!” You finally shouted and he stopped, wide eyes gaping at you.

You crossed closer to him, mildly surprised that Andell did not voice any trepidation at your movement.

You placed a hand on Ridoc’s shoulder and said, “while I find your outrage on my behalf sweet, I can fight my own battles. The cadet who did this won’t be doing it again. Tyrrish kids are made of sterner stuff than most. I’ll be fine.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to like seeing you hurt,” Ridoc said, almost a whisper.

“Then let’s do this, hmm? We can take care of and look out for each other, stepping in when asked or absolutely necessary. That way neither of us lose our cool or pull a Dain, sound fair?”

“Yeah,” Ridoc said, “look there’s been something else I’ve wanted to tell-“

Ridoc stiffened as Aotrom spoke to him in his head, his eyes taking on that same glazed quality whenever their dragon spoke to them. Present in the moment but listening to something only for them. Once the sharpness returned to Ridoc’s eyes, he glanced fearfully up at Andell.

Your dragon stared down his snout again, blowing a stream of steam out over him. No one moved until the smoke dissipated. Ridoc’s eyes remained on Andell as the dragon stared at him again for a long moment, expecting him to run. Ridoc stayed right where he was, softly holding your hands.

Andell’s head bobbed slightly once in a way you couldn’t even figure out the meaning of.

The moment came and went as you turned back to Ridoc, “what was it you wanted to tell me?”

“Uhh…” Ridoc gulped.

The shout of your last name and Ridoc’s over the flight field suggested that the two of you had been missing for too long. Andell leveled his head in the direction of Dain’s voice and growled, loudly.

“No, no, we should go,” you said, not in the mood to pick another fight, verbal or otherwise. “I’ll see you later big guy,” you told your dragon who you could almost swear pouted before surging off into the air, Aotrom soaring quickly behind looking for all the world to be nagging your older dragon.

“Come on,” you said to Ridoc, mentally preparing for the rule laden speech you’d receive from your Wingleader.

Ridoc tried to come up with something to say, some joke to make, but for once he was at a loss for words.

Maybe appeasing your dragon was the easy part.

A/N: And yes, I am absolutely planning on writing a third part! <3

[karmacharmeleon18]

Due to popular demand, here's my Ateez Plastic Surgery post!

Sorry it took me a while but I had to do some editing to respect the limit of 30 pictures per post

Remember that all of this started from a few asks I received on the topic, and my autistic brain decided to fixate on it: I'm not writing this post out of malice or as criticism of Ateez, I simply need to get it out of my system so I can move on! 😂

I love these boys as all of you do and see nothing shameful in plastic surgery

And speaking of asks received, I want to thank all the people that have shown interest and support in my messages and inbox: I really didn't expect anyone to appreciate my musings about such a taboo topic, so thank you so much for being kind and interested! ❤

First things first:

For any Atiny that doesn’t want to see this: block the tag "ateez plastic surgery" and you won’t have to!

But if you’re interested in reading, know that I will not post any pictures of actual surgeries, so don’t worry if you’re squeamish.

Let's go!

We all know how beautiful Ateez noses are, we all adore them, right?

And I think, if the surgery allegations are well-founded, they truly show the GENIUS and MASTERY of Korean plastic surgeons

They did not give every member the same exact nose (as it’s so common in the West, where you can tell from miles away when someone got their nose done)

They kept all the personality, all the quirks of their noses, all that makes them interesting and beautiful and unique

They simply made them slimmer

(slimmer, but not necessarily smaller; big noses are just so beautiful)

I’ve seen K-Pop fans (not Atiny, but in general) say things like: “That was their nose as a teenager, they are grown men/women now!”, or: “They lost weight, of course their face changed!”

Noses are bone, cartilage, soft tissues and skin, their size and shape is not affected by weight loss as there are no fat cells stored in your nose

Your nose changes during puberty, but by the time you are 18, it has stopped growing/changing shape and size

Any natural change in shape and size as an older teen (18-19) and adult might be due to medical conditions, but that’s not the case for the vast majority of idols

With all of this out of the way, let’s begin a more in-depth analysis!

Now, for those interested in the topic but not in my yapping, I have found a YouTube video from 2022 about this:

According to the video:

Hongjoong had a rhinoplasty* and a chin implant (*I think he possibly had 2 + fixed his front teeth)

Seonghwa had a rhinoplasty and double eyelid surgery (I think he possibly had a chin implant too)

Yunho had 2 rhinoplasties* and double eyelid surgery (*I agree)

Yeosang had a rhinoplasty and double eyelid surgery

San had a rhinoplasty

Mingi had a subtle rhinoplasty (kinda disagree? I think he actually had a silicone implant that he took out during his hiatus; when he came back his nose looked different and I suspect his current nose might be closer to his natural one, if not the natural one)

Wooyoung had a rhinoplasty, outer eye corners cut and ptosis repair

Jongho had a rhinoplasty, double eyelid surgery and ptosis repair

Again, I can’t stress how common plastic surgery is in South Korea. Korean teens get it as birthday presents! I’m talking rhinoplasties, chin implants, double eyelid and even jaw shaving surgeries, as teenagers. And imagine how much more common it is for celebrities!

Korean surgeons are absolutes masters at making “improved” facial features look as natural as possible

Now here is my opinion for each member

Hongjoong

I think the rhinoplasty is pretty obvious. Hongjoong with his natural nose used to be almost the spitting image of Bumjoong:

Spot the difference!

And here's more young Hongjoong:

A previous anon pointed out that HJ's nose was actually flatter and more hooked than his brother's, especially from the side, and I do remember seeing at least one picture that showed it pretty well, but unfortunately I can't fing it in my folders. If someone has it, please send it my way!

But then predebut/debut and rookie Hongjoong had a very sharp nose that almost curved upwards; it looked "perfect"... but quite unnatural, like it could cut glass:

And this is the nose he has now, much softer, less pointy, more natural looking; and - incidentally - very similar to the nose his mom has (right pic), which is why people say "he didn't inherit her nose, he inherited her surgeon" (kinda mean but also hilarious):

And here are his natural teeth, slightly crooked and with a bit of a gap vs his debut/current teeth (ft super sharp debut nose):

And a pic from the video about a possible chin implant:

So possibly, he had a first rhinoplasty (and chin implant?) in high school, maybe because he was set on working in the entertainment industry and knew that would help, or maybe he had already signed with KQ and he had the surgery in preparation for a possible debut

The second rhinoplasty might have happened during the height of COVID, when concerts and events were postponed and cameras weren’t as focused on him

As for his teeth, I don’t know if he used some sort of braces to realign them, or if he got veneers. In 2023 he also accidentally hit his mic against his front teeth and chipped one of them, but now his teeth are as perfect as always and he got them fixed easily and quickly, so maybe veneers?

Seonghwa

Pre-debut Seonghwa is my WEAKNESS. He looks like he could and would beat up current Seonghwa for fun lmao

I totally understand why the KQ staff thought he was going to kill them if they didn’t let him pass the audition

And I understand why Hongjoong was so intimidated...

Imagine being the freakiest twink in the Itaewon bathrooms and this piece of murderous beef shows up:

(I'm pretty much the same age he was predebut/at debut, so I don't feel weird lusting after him... maybe in a few years I'll have to take this post down lol)

Now, I have seen all sorts of allegations (because people just can’t comprehend how someone can be so beautiful ) starting with him getting his jaw shaved and a chin implant

The way your face shape looks can be affected by make-up, lighting, weight loss, perspective, so I’m not very good at detecting surgeries of this kind (unless the before-after is a monumental change)

His chin does look more pointy now compared to the past:

How much of it is weight loss? And how much is surgery? Surgery seems more likely in this case, the shape looks completery different

One thing that does not change with weight loss is your nose, so maybe as the video says he had a rhinoplasty to make the bridge slimmer and the tip and nostrils more defined:

(his nose was wider, flatter, less defined)

As for the double eyelid surgery, it’s also entirely possible, as the pics above already showed. He might have always had double eyelids (though in the pictures above it doesn’t look like it) but now he definitely does. It’s not make-up, it’s not eyelid tape. Something changed:

(this is a screenshot I was sent of a tiktok video, because I'm not the only one that noticed these details)

Before, his upper lid used to be very prominent, but now he definitely has visible double eyelids:

But something I adore about him is that even after a slimming rhinoplasty, his nose is not "perfect"; from the side, his bridge has the slightest bump, and when he truly smiles (the famous Seonghwa pained smile/happiness that looks like pain), his nose looks almost hooked:

This is an instance of Korean surgeons knowing exactly how far to go when “fixing” a nose

They don’t want each patient to have the same exact nose

This is, undeniably, Seonghwa’s nose

The bridge is simply a bit slimmer, the nostrils and tip more defined

(and the same goes for Wooyoung, the surgeon still left him with Wooyoung’s nose, they just made it slimmer, it’s genius work)

Yunho

Yunho is the only confirmed case of plastic surgery in the whole team

During the Wave era he told Atiny that one time he fell asleep on a bus, the bus driver hit the brakes a bit too hard, too suddenly, and Yunho’s reflexes weren’t enough to spare him: he fell and broke his nose

The problem? When he told us this story, his nose was different than the nose he has right now

So he had at least 2 nose jobs: the one he told us about, that happened pre-debut, and another, more recent one that got him the nose he has today

This is his natural nose:

Then this is his nose at debut + during the Wave era (the blond pic is from the video he told us about his old nose surgery); by this point he's already had one nose surgery which made his nose a bit more defined, the nostrils more accentuated:

But this is his nose now:

More pointy, bony, the shape overall more sharp and less roundish, lost almost all softness

So Yunho most likely had 2 nose jobs: one he told us about during the Wave era, that happened years before, and another one that got him the nose he has today.

Now, I’m not saying he’s a liar! Maybe pre-debut he did need surgery after breaking his nose! And maybe he needed a second one because he still had some lingering issues! And plastic surgeons being plastic surgeons, they made his nose smaller/straighter/more conventionally attractive because that’s their job

The video also alleges he had a double eyelid surgery, but all the pics I found of young Yunho are a bit too grainy to be sure. It does look like he has a double eyelid on his left eye, while his right eye looks more like a monolid, so maybe he had that fixed to be more symmetrical? And both lids were very prominent, even the one that was already double. But it's hard to tell for sure

Yeosang

I have to say I agree with the video, both when they say he possibly had a nose job&double eyelid surgery, and when they say they were absolutely unnecessary lol (tbf I think they all were unnecessary)

Before:

His nose is less defined, looks bigger, and his eyelids are very prominent

Now:

His nostrils are still prominent, but the bridge is slimmer, giving his nose an overall more defined look; and now he definitely has double eyelids

San

According to the video, he had a rhinoplasty to slim down the bridge of his nose, and I guess I can see it:

His nose was flatter and larger, now it's slimmer and more defined (sorry I keep using this word but it makes sense in my head? I hope you get what I'm trying to say) with a more pointy tip.

And I think that’s it? Some say some type of eyelid surgery but I don't know

Mingi

Mingi is a tough one to figure out, he definitely got something done to his nose, but for the longest time I couldn't figure out what exactly

Because Mingi is the only member whose nose got less perfect with time

He did the opposite of all the other members, instead of having his nose permanently “fixed”, he had a previous cosmetic tool removed

The video says he had his nose slimmed down, like the others, but I don’t know if I agree. In the pic they used, it does look like it, but then other pictures of young Mingi (at that same age) show that he’s always had a slim nose. I think that in the pic used in the video, lighting was playing some tricks

It’s hard to say definitively, because all the pictures we have of Mingi are either too old (Mingi was a child, his slim nose back then might have changed with puberty), too grainy (I straight up can’t see his nose well lol) or too close to debut (he might have already gotten something done)

But in his high school pics, his nose could be his natural nose

Why? Because it does not look exactly like his debut nose, it's not as sharp and "perfect"

High school Mingi’s nose is more similar to the nose he has today:

Big but not super pointy and triangular

On the other hand, debut Mingi’s nose had a high bridge, was straight, sharp, almost triangular and “perfect”, a surgeon’s dream

But then when he came back from his hiatus, it was slightly and yet visibly different, his nose bridge was lower, the tip less sharp, it looked overall more curved and less pointy

Debut vs Now pics:

Debut: high bridge, sharp tip Now: lower bridge and softer tip

Debut Mingi's nose had a very high bridge that started right after the curve of his forehead

High school and current Mingi's nose has some space between his forehead and the start of his nose/he has a lower bridge, and it looks overall softer

The tip now almost seems to point downwards at times, depending on the perspective, because there's no more silicone bar pulling his nostrils forward and lifting the tip

His nose today looks also slightly smaller than his debut nose, again because the're no more silicone bar pulling the soft tissues forward

Mingi's softer, rounder nose after his hiatus/now:

... Mingi’s nose today is a nose a plastic surgeon would generally fix. Surgeons want high bridges and sharp tips (Mingi’s debut nose), maybe not for the average person, but definitely for an idol

Mingi went in the opposite direction, he removed the high bridge and sharp tip

Unlike the rest of Ateez, Mingi removed what made his nose so perfect

But how?

I think that instead of a traditional nose job (which usually breaks and shaves bone and reshapes cartilage), his pre-debut self possibly had a silicone implant inserted in his nose, to make it higher, straighter, pointier and “perfect” for debut

(do not google nose silicone implants 🤢 it's literally a solid "bar" - for lack of a better term off the top of my head - made of silicone and inserted along the lenght of the bridge)

Then during his hiatus, he had it removed, so now we see his nose how it could have looked naturally

His nose today is also slightly curved, usually it's barely visible, only from certain angles and when the light hits it in the right way, but again, it's something a surgeon would fix:

Rengoku pic: no visible curve but his nose look less slim because of the lighting, very similar to his nose in the high school pics

Middle&Right pics: slightest curve detectable

Let's take Wooyoung as an example of a nose curved on purpose:

Wooyoung’s curve is visible from the side, it gives him a very interesting, sensual and above all distinctive and unique side profile, which a good surgeon would aim for

Mingi’s curve is (slightly) visible from the front, and it’s something a surgeon would deem asymmetrical and want to fix

And I don’t think this is the result of a botched cosmetic surgery: Mingi and his perfect debut nose had no reason to get another cosmetic surgery and, what, enhance the perfection even more? This is not a case of surgery gone wrong

He had a perfect nose and decided to make it less perfect

Why???? I don’t know

But when Mingi went on hiatus for 8 months, he actually didn’t know if he wanted to come back to Ateez. He didn’t know if he wanted to be an idol anymore

So maybe he got the implant removed to reclaim possession of his face, as a rejection of the idol life that had brought him so much anxiety and hardships

Maybe because of his anxiety he also experienced some sort of body dysmorphia? Like he looked in the mirror and couldn’t recognize the face staring back at him, all he saw was Song Mingi the idol

If he was going to come back, he was going to come back as his old self, the real Mingi, not the perfect version the industry wanted

In conclusion, Mingi’s nose became less conventionally perfect with time, which makes me think he had whatever cosmetic tool he had used for debut removed during his hiatus, and now we see his nose in his (possible) natural state

As for the eye ptosis repair theory mentioned in the video, I have no idea. I’m not good at detecting this type of thing and as I said, Mingi’s old pics aren’t super reliable. But Mingi’s eyes are still a big insecurity of his, and in the past he wanted double eyelids. I think if he’d had ptosis repair surgery, he would’ve gotten double eyelid surgery at the same time? I don’t see why he would get one and not the other. Mingi’s eyes are still smaller than other members’ (to his perpetual chagrin), so I don’t think he had anything done there?

Wooyoung

Wooyoung, like Seonghwa, is another obvious case of masterful rhinoplasty

Side by side comparisone Before vs Now:

His nose used to be larger and seemed to lack the sexy curved slope he has today

Before:

Larger and rounder

Now:

Slimmer and beautifully sloped

As for the allegations of eye surgery, I don't think that's the case here? Woo's eyes are pretty uneven, the left one has a slight double eyelid, the right one does not. A surgeon would've fixed that imo

Jongho

I'm running out of space for pictures 😭 sorry everyone and Jongho

From the video:

The creator says rhinoplasty, double eyelid surgery and ptosis repair

To be fair his nose now seems more defined and slighlty smaller (rhinoplasty) and his eyes a bit larger and the lids less prominent (ptosis repair)

But Jongho always had double eyelids (I ran out of pic space, so you'll have to trust me on this one lol or you can google "Jongho child pics" and you'll see an adorable side-by-side comparison where toddler Jognho's double eyelids are super visible)

The ptosis repair is still possible tho, to make the eyes open wider

But honestly Jongho has such a baby face for me, it's hard to be sure!

And now I'm done! I hope you enjoyed!

[9w1ft]

Okay okay set the scene-

champagne problems. 1 for the money (the first wedding)

2 for the show (the second highly broadcasted wedding featuring scooter Braun)

I never was ready (to come out?) so I watched you go (deeper into a bearding contract so that we can hide in plain sight and commit vigilante shit). I do belive that we were on for a public reunion and coming out before the masters heist.

anyways champagne problems making sense today.

oh yes and on a base level when we all first listened through evermore and got to champagne problems i would venture to guess that this was the prevailing thought for sure, but sort of in a dry humor way 🥴

also this!

one thing that i agree with that i sense from your interpretation is that (and this i feel is true about so much of folklore and i back this up with things taylor herself has written) is that it’s a mixture of feelings that arose over multiple moments and events, not a one to one thing that means only one thing. in other words, to me, champagne problems is not “someone got proposed to and got denied and therefore there was no wedding”. to me it’s more like using it as a metaphor for conveying the feelings she had around certain things. also i agree that i do think taylor was gearing up for some sort of coming out at the end of june 2019. but ultimately she changed course. and while i think that champagne problems can depict a certain feeling that she had and deal with things that happened that are wedding themed, in the sense of taking the temperature on the status of that relationship i always return to a song that feels chronologically newer, the lakes, and the line “i’m setting off, but not without my muse, no not without you.” when thinking about the overall arc of taylor’s moves post-june 2019. in retrospect, i also find the line “she’ll patch up your tapestry that i shred” to be similar to the motif of the banner found in other songs, “tore our banners down” and “years of tearing down our banners” — to me, champagne problems is representative of another time that taylor tore the banners down on something. that could be 2019, it could be earlier, like post-election 2016 maybe, but moreover, it’s one of a series of moments over time, not an end.

i thought i’d mention that the second wedding thing was positioned more like an extended reception for their business circles (scooter was her manager at the time). some family and friends came too but it had a distinct work friends vibe. a big dinner and activities. the first one was positioned more like a ceremony and intimate event with a smaller circle of friends and family. which i might add isn’t that weird conceptually (to have a smaller ceremony and then a bigger party later) or at least that’s how i went about doing my wedding years ago so 😆 like it was definitely sus (and silly!) of them to do two events, silly in an absurdist, god can’t we catch a break sort of way, but also not unheard of conceptually imo.

also if you could allow me a long tangent regarding one other tiny point that came to mind when reading your ask (and i’m sorry for getting particular about semantics and i’m mostly writing this because i’ve gotten a lot of newer followers lately so it’s not directed at you in particular nor am i sure you meant it that way but it did make me think something so here i go) it’s just that i think that it can be beneficial to us as observers of kaylor to consider a contract to be something that is signed and negotiated by two or more parties, and therefore, usually, it is a document that is considered balanced for all parties which is evidenced by approval through their signatures. that is to say, i think oftentimes we talk about adding marriage to bearding as going deeper into the closet and maybe we see the words ‘bearding contract’ and we talk about it like its a somewhat nefarious thing but, in spirit, a bearding contract is a document to facilitate the terms of something complicated and nuanced and important that shouldn’t be done on the fly. sometimes i feel like people think as if karlie and/or taylor were strong armed into some raw deal and that they are being bound and held captive to their true feelings, but i think that is a tenuous path to walk down. because when people see bearding as some sort of trapping mechanism to get out of, and then set expectations for what they want the girls to do in terms of how to get out of it, and their expectations do not get fulfilled, they tend to blame this on things which have been arbitrarily marked as unfair. and i think it often leads to people running to the concepts of blackmail, criminality, etcetera, as a catch all to explain and justify their ideals about how taylor or karlie should act. when we simply do not know the truth of the matter. and in terms of maintaining a healthy fandom community ecosystem, in my opinion, we ought to be able to amend our view of things with more ease and make the observation of kaylor a net positive in our lives as opposed to setting ourselves up to become angry or feeling perpetually disenfranchised at every turn based on the way we choose to define things. i am not saying we should not empathize with the complexity and tribulations of their situation or not hope for a future where we can all live life freely. i very much do. and i think there are hard times and sadness for them because of the realities of society. it’s just that, as a group, i think it is more useful or helpful for people like taylor to not have to worry about appeasing our feelings. she should have to spend time on us. in my opinion, in terms of priorities, we are behind other groups of people in her life and that’s how it should be. and so, i tend to avoid thinking about their situation as something bleak that they are getting buried under and may never get out of, but rather a uniquely complex situation that merits us extending some grace toward, in terms of setting expectations. and i think that the way we think about bearding or bearding contracts can affect our general mood and morale.

alright, thank you for allowing my tangent!

one parting idea for me is that, for example even in champagne problems, taylor was not ready personally to go through with something and that through the song she is acknowledging this hesitancy that came from her and how that might have ruined an envisioned version of things in a way, but that at the end of the day these are ‘champagne problems’ ie, problems that exist within the greater context of a situation of abundance. in a way, to me, taylor is saying, i know we have so much and at the end of the day maybe this hurt ought not to be compared to people in the world less fortunate, but i feel compelled to share this emotion anyway. there’s this tension in the song, for me anyway, between telling herself that her feelings aren’t important, and embracing and letting her feelings out (mostly the bridge). at the end of the song, reflecting on having torn down a banner, taylor hopes that her lover could find someone who could do what she could not in the moment, someone who recognizes how the bones are good, and she calls all her aforementioned feelings champagne problems. not that she necessarily believes that they are, nor is there magically some new person in the equation, but that she recognizes the difference in viewpoints between her and her lover and is wondering how to bridge the gap. i think in some ways that connects to the song happiness in the sense that taylor refers to her future self “all you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness, you haven’t met the new me yet, and i think she’ll give you that”

[graciecapital]

call your mom

pairing : jj maybank x older!sister!reader

plot : when you gave your nine-year-old brother a phone to call you with should he ever need to, he used to pester you with it- but, once the novelty faded, the calls came to a gradual stop.

foolishly, you took the peace for granted.

warnings : graphic description of child neglect

word count : 3,087

author’s note : this one is quite heavy- angst is my favourite to write, and i lay it on thick. just because i’ve written it, that doesn’t mean you have to read it. <3

(not proofread)

♪ ‘fake plastic trees’ - radiohead ♪

you collapse on-top of your boyfriend, breathing heavily; he grins something blissful, placing a hand on both sides of your head and manoeuvring it to his lips to press a firm kiss to your hair.

“i love you so much,” he declares, allowing your head to gently fall against his shoulder, resting his cheek against your forehead and allowing his eyes to close for a beat, releasing a long, slightly winded sigh. “feelin’ better, now, huh?”

you hum something noncommittal, slightly dazed, tracing light lines on the bare skin of his chest. “it’s hard not to, isn’t it?”

jj snorts, head flopping back against the pillow, eyes half-lidded and weary, an arm wrapping around your waist and squeezing ever-so-slightly. “i’m gonna get the best sleep known to earth, jesus christ. you know how to put a man through his paces, don’t ‘ya?”

“practice,” you muse, the corner of your lip quirking upwards.

“practice, huh? with who?” he asks, lifting his head to look at you mock-aggressively, tousled and slightly damp blond waves descending over his forehead. “you got somethin’ to tell me?”

“you’ll never know,” you tease in response- and he will never know, because it’s at that moment that your phone starts to blare on the nightstand beside you.

you groan exasperatedly, propping yourself up on your elbows to blindly tap around the wood surface for it- when you find it, the contact name is already greeting you, displayed in bold, unignorable white letters in the top third of the screen.

home.

you pick up the phone before jj so much as has the chance to ask who’s at the other end of it.

a few months ago, you gave your brother, max, a phone. nothing special- just one of your old, battered iphone 5s that for some reason you still had, with no wifi or internet because you point-blank refuse to give your nine-year-old brother unlimited access to the internet- just so he was able to contact you should he need to.

the oldest of your three siblings, he’s the one you trusted with it; eli’s six and lila’s only two, so you doubt either of them would really know how to use it, anyways. at first, after you showed him how, he abused it- calling you non-stop, day-in, day-out- but now, the novelty’s faded. he only calls you unless there’s a real reason for him to; and now, apparently there is.

typically, it’s to get information to relay to your mum when she needs it, or to ask when you’ll next be home, considering how often you’re out with jj and the rest of your friends- therefore, the last thing you’re expecting upon the call connecting is the sound of lila’s deafening cries, max’s voice, uncharacteristically feeble and timid, offering a small, “hello? are you there?”

you sit up instantly, tearing out of jj’s grip to swing your legs over the edge of the bed, sighing. “yeah, i’m here. what’s up?”

“sorry, is this a bad time? it’s just-” lila screams again, and max pauses, only regaining his voice a few seconds later. “we haven’t seen mum all day. we’re all really hungry, and i’ve tried ordering food but i can’t, and lila’s upset and eli’s not come out of his room for ages-”

“woah, hang on,” you say slowly, calmly, turning up the volume of your phone. “when’d you last see her?”

“last night,” your little brother responds instantly. “she left us some cash and a note saying to just order something in, but i’ve tried and i can’t, this phone won’t connect to the wifi and she’s taken hers with her, i think.”

shit.

“any idea where she’s gone?” you ask, turning back to jj and nodding towards the door- instantly, he gets the hint. he jumps out of bed, wriggling into his boxers as he jumps around the room in search of some clothes. you’re already picking a shirt up off of the floor, placing the call on speaker as you throw it on.

“nope,” max’s voice drifts through the room, popping the ‘p’. “she didn’t say anything, just… gone.”

and, like a fool, you’d never installed your mum’s contact on the old, battered iphone 5- originally, you didn’t want her to know that max had it.

you’d have told her yourself, if you’d been smart enough to consider a scenario like this.

lila wails again, and you can practically hear your brother’s wince on the other side of the phone.

“you said eli’s been in his room all day, yeah? is lila safe for you to go and check on him? where’s she at?”

“in her crib,” max says, and you can hear the creaking of springs, swiftly followed by small footsteps. “i’ll check on him now, give me a sec.”

the footsteps stop, and seconds later are replaced by muffled voices- max’s is still somewhat clear, but even though eli’s isn’t, you can hear the exhaustion in it.

“he’s fine,” your brother’s voice follows up a moment after, fully intelligible once more. “tired, though.”

“tell him he can take a nap if he wants to,” you say simply, shimmying into some shorts, jj doing the same behind you. “i’m coming, alright? we’ll be there soon, just hang in there. fifteen minutes, tops.”

“‘kay, thanks.”

“you’ve got nothing to thank me for, buddy. i’ll see you soon, okay? i love you.”

“love you too,” max replies, slightly steadier now. “i’ll- i’ll try to calm lila down.”

“good idea. i’ll be there soon, i promise.”

max is the one to hang up- for a second, all you can do is close your eyes and take a breath.

“she’s disappeared again, then?” jj’s voice comes, unfailingly determined, though you can hear a pinch of disbelief in it.

you sigh, opening your eyes and turning to look at him, something akin to exhausted exasperation swirling in them. “looks like it.”

“i’ll grab some chips for them, you get in the twinkie,” is the response you get, your boyfriend not so much as missing a single beat.

you can’t help but kiss him on your way out of the bedroom, sliding some shoes on your bare feet and snatching the keys for the twinkie off of the coffee table before swinging open the front door and bee-lining for the van, phone jammed in your pocket.

you’re years max’s senior, and even you have no clue where your mum is. you know things about her that they don’t- you know the sort of things she gets up to- but she doesn’t have a regular place to go. she just kind of… wanders. goes off with whatever man looks at her twice, doesn’t come back for hours- even days, when you’ve taken them off of her before, because you have. you’ve taken them to the chateau, time after time, and when she inevitably promises you that it’s her wake-up call, that she’ll change, you’re obligated to fold.

as soon as the circumstances are right, you’re sure you’ll get them out of there- but, until then, this is all you can do. be there when they need you- show max that he can and should call you, and that you’ll respond, you’ll show for him, them, when nobody else will.

jj joins you shortly after you put the keys in the ignition- as soon as the passenger door slams shut, you’re gone, flooring out of the land surrounding the chateau and veering off into the road.

you know full-well that you’re speeding but don’t care in the slightest; the speed cameras don’t work in this part of the cut, and police don’t patrol it. the road you live on is mostly quiet, just elderly people and the odd family, like yours, so there’s no reason for anyone to be over there- nobody to commit the crimes they police.

“i can’t believe her, man,” jj scoffs from beside you, practically vibrating in his seat.

one of the main things, if not the main thing, you love about your boyfriend is his love for your siblings. growing up an only child, he never really had anyone around, when he was young; nobody to bear it all with, nobody to even distract himself with by protecting. when you’re at work, or otherwise occupied, he’s the one picking up the slack- play-fighting with the boys, helping them with their homework as well as he can, getting lila to sleep, helping eli get into his pyjamas at night.

while you never plan on having kids- especially after all of this- if you did, you could see him being everything his own dad wasn’t to them.

“…ow many times has she said she wouldn’t do this shit again? just take off?”

“how many times has she promised she’ll change?” you snort bitterly in agreement, guiding the car down a corner, into a gravelly road a few minutes away from yours. “it’s bullshit. it’s all bullshit.”

“like, how can you even do that to your own kids, bro? i swear to god, i’ll-”

it all becomes white noise. you don’t mean to stop listening to him, but your ears take you back to that phone call: max’s weary little greeting, eli’s utterly drained voice, lila’s hysteria.

the last of which, you realise, is still continuing upon the front door of your house opening.

“hey,” you nod, smile something a little bit weak around the edges, bringing him in for a short hug. “told you we’d come, didn’t i?”

“hi- jj!”

“hey, big man,” jj grins, charming and outwardly unaffected as ever, as if he wasn’t just seething in the twinkie a mere forty-five seconds ago. “you holding up alright?”

you release max, ears turning up at the sound of your little sister.

“you guys go and pack some stuff and get eli, alright?” you call back to them, already stepping through the food wrappers and used plastic cups in search of her room.

as soon as you open the door of it, your heart breaks.

lila’s standing in the corner of her crib, wide and teary eyes rapidly darting around the room, as if perpetually searching- her eyes lock on you, and her face only seems to screw up further. she toddles as fast as she can to the front fence, omitting an almighty wail as she does, little arms outstretching as far as they can towards you, a new round of scalding tears pouring down her face.

you’re with her in an instant, lifting her by her sides and cradling you to your chest, her head instantly worming into your neck.

“hey, sweetheart- shh, you’re alright, i’ve got you. i know, it’s confusing, huh? you’re hungry?” you murmur as she cries, lowering a kiss to the top of her head.

poor lila can’t even speak, just gasp over another sob- you tighten her arms around her, rocking back-and-forth.

“i know, i know- shh, you’re okay. we’re gonna get you some food and new clothes, yeah?”

as carefully as you can with her still anchored to your front, you bustle around the room, grabbing a clean diaper, the last remaining clean pacifier and a single change of clothes- there are backups of everything else you’ll need at the chateau- and stuffing them into a small, pink rucksack in the corner of the room.

you sling the bag over your shoulder and press another kiss to her hair before swiftly exiting the room, eyes landing on eli, who’s currently fastened to jj’s back, your boyfriend’s arms with handles of bags hanging off of them looped around his knees; max stands just to the side, holding up the old phone.

“should i take this with me? or…”

“yeah, you should,” you nod, ruffling his hair. “you did a good job, calling me. i’m proud of you.”

max just smiles something slightly tired, and your heart promptly cleaves in half yet again at the expression. no nine-year-old should hold that much exhaustion, that much defeat; the curse that befell you is falling onto him.

“can we go now?” he asks, gesturing vaguely to the bags piled in jj’s arms. “we’ve packed, and everything.”

you take a look around the house- the slight smell of cigarette smoke permeating the air, the food boxes and other miscellaneous objects blanketing the floor- and nod again.

“yeah, we can. c’mon.”

as soon as you step out of the house, lights blind you- car headlights, specifically, and you quickly hand lila off to jj, who has by now gotten both of the boys secured in the twinkie and bags of chips in their hands, and request he do the same for lila before staring at the car as it comes to a slow stop.

your mum isn’t drunk when she steps out of the car- she learned that lesson around the time you turned fifteen- but it’s obvious that at some point recently, she has been.

“of course, you come back now,” you snort in almost incredulous disbelief, clapping sarcastically. “well done, mum. who’s this, then?”

you point to a man who’s gotten out of the car alongside her, all muscle and tattoos and outgrown hair; your mum rolls her eyes, black eyeliner smudged.

“it doesn’t matter who he is,” she says offhandedly. “where are my kids?”

“of course it matters,” you shake your head, wrinkling your nose slightly. “and they’re in the van. i figured that if you’re too busy to look after them, then i probably should.”

your mum seems to stop for a second, eyes roaming over you, as if she hasn’t seen you in years- and she hasn’t, you suppose. not for long, anyway.

and then:

“what, so you’re just going to take my kids?”

you hum, nodding. “pretty much. you can’t just leave them at home all day, mum, jesus. they’re kids. little fucking kids, and you just went off-grid.”

“i left them some money,” she protests, waving a hand, “to order food with. they were fine.”

“yeah, and how were they meant to order it, huh? with what phone?”

it doesn’t hold the fire that it used to; just the slight air of annoyance only achieved after repeating something so many times, and it not being listened to, that you don’t even have the energy to properly fight the point anymore.

“what, they don’t have one?” mum asks. “max is nine, i thought by now…”

“did you ever buy him one?” you ask, and after a beat of telling silence, “no, you didn’t, so they don’t have one. what, you think a nine-year-old is pulling a nine-to-five at the country club?”

max has an old, beaten-down iphone 5 that your mum doesn’t even know about, purely to be used in situations like these. that’s it. no wifi, no internet access in the slightest- just your contact and some games you had installed back when you were using it.

“i need to get them home,” you say when you get no response, sighing in bitter resignation. “they haven’t eaten all day, and lila needs changing. just… have fun tonight, yeah? with man number eighty-seven, or something, i don’t fucking know. no point in calling me asking for them back, i’ll decide on my own terms.”

you don’t even spare them another glance before getting in the twinkie- jj hands a now-whimpering lila to you, and you settle her on your lap, engaging her with the remaining chips in the small bag as your boyfriend begins to trundle out of the driveway.

the drive home is remarkably quiet. nobody really says much; eli’s dozing off, the side of his head smushed against the window, and max is just staring out of his own, face slightly clenched.

jj’s got a hand on your thigh, thumb stoking small lines into your skin, but it doesn’t do much- not when all that your little siblings have had to eat today is a bag of chips that two of them are still eating, lila clearly hasn’t been changed all day and your mum hadn’t been seen in so long that max had lost all hope in her returning and had called you as a last resort.

you feel sick to your fucking stomach.

eventually, though, the frame of the chateau comes into view. you step out of the twinkie as soon as it comes to a stop, grab lila’s bag and secure her to your hip, head inside- and, because food’s the top priority, you bee-line straight for the kitchen to make a placating sippy-cup of milk, giving it to her as you take her to your and jj’s bedroom to change her into something clean.

it doesn’t take long- you work with urgency- but, even then, you step back into the living room to the sight of eli and max sitting on the sofa, plates of leftover food on their laps- you press a kiss to jj’s cheek, mumbling a small ‘thank you’ as he hands you a bowl of berries for lila.

you sit on the sofa besides eli, watch with bitter pride as she progressively gets less and less fussy as she eats them, stare in exhausted awe at jj as he joins you and begins engaging eli in light conversation about his schooling, all casual and seemingly perpetually energetic.

later, when all of the kids are fed and changed into pyjamas, max grabs lila and places her between himself and eli, covers the three of them in a small, slightly frayed blanket- to which jj quickly rushes into your shared room and drapes the duvet of your bed over the three of them.

they fall asleep to you murmuring soft words to them, your hand slowly carding through their hair periodically; arms wrap around you from behind, and you turn your head into jj’s shoulder, sighing.

“they’re good now,” he murmurs quietly, placing a kiss to the curve of your neck. “you’ve got them, yeah? we’ve got them. they’re fed, they’re clean, they’re safe, they’re asleep. you’re done now, okay? you can rest.”

“thank you,” you whisper. it’s all you can say, really- he helped eli and max pack, carried eli on his back out of the house, had plates of food going into them within minutes of you returning; he’s there, a rock. “thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“no need to thank me,” is all you get in response, his voice firm yet simultaneously gentle, kind. “they deserve it all, yeah? ‘n you’re giving it to them.”

and, like he has been the whole night, he’s there, a rock, as you inevitably crumble.

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

i wanna walk up to bill and hand him a gift box, tell him "happy birthday!" and then walk away, and then he opens it looking so giddy and its a lit stick of dynamite, and he just looks at it and says "oh!" and then it blows up in his face looney tunes style

He’s a CARTOON CHARACTER !!!!!!!!!!

[kerorowhump]

saw the discussion about keroro clones,shin keroro dark keroro and the third movie etc just want to add some context to the whole keroro clone thing as someone that reads the manga in Japanese and are in touch with the Japanese fandom:

1. Dark keroro in the movie is a keroro clone created by the kiruru system but in the manga dark keroro is straight up just a version of keroro himself but serious that are controlled by something called the emperor system that is already installed in the keron star or on keroro himself,triggered by tororo’s hacking of the keroro robot .

2.The most prevalent theory in the Asian side of the fandom about what shin keroro is that he is an genetically altered keroro clone and that’s why he possesses traits that normal keronians don’t have and are extremely different (almost opposite in some cases)physically. About why he is only one “born”in a hundred years,you might want to consider that the manga originally is meant to be satirical and the keron society is based on Japan itself during different periods; the military is based on wwII Japanese empire and the culture is based on current Japan.Low birth rate and stagnation in society is a huge problem in Japan. Also considering the extremely long life keronians seems to have(10500+yrs old is considered middle age) him being the only born in a hundred years don’t seem too weird.But the timing of the birth is definitely sus because of the time difference between keron and earth is 1 earth year =300 keron years so he is born after the platoon is dispatched to earth.

3. Shin keroro is sent to earth by the supreme command which is an entirely different organization to the military branch the platoon belongs to,keroro’s commander even complained about how the supreme command sent shin keroro without his permission so there is some kind of infighting ongoing between different factions of the military.

I also want to add some to the discussion about keroro’s potential because the manga canon characterization of keroro is quite different from the anime because of the switch from a satirical adult manga to a kid friendly comedy tv series ;

1. Keroro in the manga definitely knows something about the keron star and how to use it but chooses not to use it for some reason and lies about not knowing what the keron star is straight to kururu’s face ( and like in the next episode he left a note to Moa to tell her to take care of the others before transforming into a dragon to fight black star but pretend to transform on accident; also the silhouette that threatened to overwrite dark star ‘s data speaks in a way unique to keroro in Japanese)

2. The keron star seems to take a toll on keroro’s body and kururu knows it.Keroro also seems to have immunity to mind control effects in general on most situations. He also loses consciousness if he give the keron star away willingly for some reason.Keroro still have the mood swings like the anime but in the manga when he is overwhelmed it seems like he just turns off completely and are void of any emotions(the author has stated in the databook that keroro is hard to read and are supposed to be scary when he have an neutral expression) The consensus of the Japanese fandom on keroro’s character is that he is secretly an extremely powerful and capable character but refuses to show his true aspects in any way other than to protect his friends and plays a character to hide it.

3. The first meeting of keroro and giroro in vol 29 is extremely sus for many reasons;firstly the way baby keroro speaks is just not how a normal child speaks in Japanese, kids are not supposed to speak like high rank military officers when they are in kindergarten (for your reference baby giroro who grew up in a family of military personnel does not speak like that).Secondly the whole thing about how keroro was in a hospital for a long period of time when he seems to be generally healthy as a kid.Thirdly, baby keroro seemed extremely intentional about invading earth and finding people to be part of his team and the fact that the keron army has tried to invade earth tens of thousands of times and failed.Also the fact that earth invasion is one of the most coveted missions in the keron army.Lastly ,the fact that Garuru is there to oversee the interaction,garuru is specifically stated to works for the higher ups and carries secret missions,he also oversees kururu when he is still a kid,so the fact that he just happens to be there when keroro leaves the “hospital “doesn’t seem like a coincidence.

4. Keroro has to be ancient .In one of the relatively newer chapters there is a panel that straight up said there is a version of keroro in one of those ancient robots from the hot spring episode; considering the time difference of keron and earth some version of keroro had to exist hundreds of thousands of years ago.Also the fact that Moa is stated to be 2000yrs old on earth time but have meet keroro as a child when keroro is supposed born 35yrs ago in earth time.

Sorry for the word dump but seeing discussions about keroro lore makes me excited lol

OK SO, HI ANON. You're my new idol, seriously. I've been suffering all day at the lesson, with the burning desire to answer this ask. I'm at home now, eating in front of the computer so I could get to it right away, because you made my heart beat.

Of course, despite my undying love for KG and Keroro, and my attempts to keep track of all lore and be accurate, I am but a mere bilingual italian, non-japanese speaking, haven't even finished the anime+manga, humble fan. So to receive this much information from someone like you, I consider an honor, and a chance to learn. I really do feel honored that someone like you chose ME to talk about this stuff because it makes me feel a bit more confident that I'm at least on the right track...

Kissing ass aside (dkfhskgd) I WANTED to answer you in-depth, so here goes.

"Dark keroro in the movie is a keroro clone created by the kiruru system but in the manga dark keroro is straight up just a version of keroro himself but serious that are controlled by something called the emperor system that is already installed in the keron star or on keroro himself,triggered by tororo’s hacking of the keroro robot" I see. Deeply fascinating. I already knew that the manga and anime have such different canons they might as well be separate works, and I read the Dark Keroro story in 2023, but I don't remember it well, and I haven't watched the movie yet, so this is all new information to me. The wording you use is interesting. If something can be installed on Keroro himself, that would imply that, as I suspected (and briefly speculated about), there is the potential for him to be remotely controlled? And likewise, such a thing could be said if it was installed on the Keron Star anyway. If I'm understanding this correctly.

"The most prevalent theory in the Asian side of the fandom about what shin keroro is that he is an genetically altered keroro clone and that’s why he possesses traits that normal keronians don’t have and are extremely different (almost opposite in some cases)physically." Yeah, that checks out. His reaction to humidity being a dead giveaway that he's far from a natural keronian. Then again, I've been suspecting not even Keroro is a natural keronian and has definitely been messed with in some way, so it would be reasonable that the character that's basically "we're trying to make keroro again part 2" would share a similarity there. "About why he is only one “born”in a hundred years,you might want to consider that the manga originally is meant to be satirical and the keron society is based on Japan itself during different periods; the military is based on wwII Japanese empire and the culture is based on current Japan.Low birth rate and stagnation in society is a huge problem in Japan." I'm aware... the general vibe of the work (borh anime n manga from what I've experienced) appears to me like a satirical take on japanese society, with its strictness and some bits that could be improved, Keron is of course a parallel to that to me... I tend to try to ask the questions in a diegetic sense before I go with the meta one, just to make sure I'm properly combing the lore, y'kno. But I had already considered all of this dhgfg "Also considering the extremely long life keronians seems to have(10500+yrs old is considered middle age) him being the only born in a hundred years don’t seem too weird.But the timing of the birth is definitely sus because of the time difference between keron and earth is 1 earth year =300 keron years so he is born after the platoon is dispatched to earth" You're right, it's not too weird in general... it felt a little weird to me in the context of them (Keron) trying to mess with genetics (especially the aging process) and their obsession with wanting Earth in particular (assuming they need the specific resources or something like that, if there is no other motivation for the Pekopon-craze). I feel like I discovered the difference between keron years and earth years somewhere in the anime already (when they were calculating their age in human years for a gag) but again, different canons, and it's super useful to me to have it laid out straight-forwardly like this.

"Shin keroro is sent to earth by the supreme command which is an entirely different organization to the military branch the platoon belongs to, keroro’s commander even complained about how the supreme command sent shin keroro without his permission so there is some kind of infighting ongoing between different factions of the military" Extremely interesting. Didn't know this at all. Duly noted.

"I also want to add some to the discussion about keroro’s potential because the manga canon characterization of keroro is quite different from the anime because of the switch from a satirical adult manga to a kid friendly comedy tv series" Even as someone who is still basically early in the manga, it's definitely a noticeable difference in some places... I tend to "supplement" the anime keroro using the manga keroro for NOW, just because nothing has felt contradicting between the two (some bits even compliment each other, you've probably seen me talk about keroro using screenshots from both... a lot), but of course that may change. I'm still learning...

"Keroro in the manga definitely knows something about the keron star and how to use it but chooses not to use it for some reason and lies about not knowing what the keron star is straight to kururu’s face" MHM. Yeah, I got that general impression (that he knows) and actively resists it. That second bit though I don't recall seeing (him lying to Kururu's face), I implore you to send me the screenshots/vol number of it, because I'm super interested. Well in general if you could give me the most crucial bits where this is proven, it would save me a huge headache with trying to piece them together by myself later. If that makes sense. "(and like in the next episode he left a note to Moa to tell her to take care of the others before transforming into a dragon to fight black star but pretend to transform on accident; also the silhouette that threatened to overwrite dark star ‘s data speaks in a way unique to keroro in Japanese)" Yep. Yep. 100000% yep. Even as a lowly non-japanese speaker I clocked that the silhouette was Keroro right away lol If I'm not mistaken, what you mean is that he uses dearimasu right here (although he also uses watashi), but if you mean something else lmk.

So my humble take away from this is that the equivalent to all the data inside the keron star is basically its own alive entity, and so that would also explain a bunch of other stuff (keroro not remembering anything of when he uses the star, his "fainting" (? i'll get to that), the star actively taking away from him (oh parasite theory my beloved) and stuff like that...).

2. "The keron star seems to take a toll on keroro’s body and kururu knows it." YESSSS THE WAY I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS. Well, I've looked into the vol21 raws dialogue for what you mean about Kururu as well (I have the full RAWs to check whenever I need I'm just... well, inexperienced, I might lose nuances. This is 10000000% correct and I already knew it, but feelsgood to read it said by you. "Keroro also seems to have immunity to mind control effects in general on most situations." I'VE NOTICED THIS... WELL, KIND OF. I noticed that he didn't undergo the effects of the keron star when kitty was using it. I can't recall a lot of instances off the top of my head rn. Examples encouraged to build my own mental library. But vaguely speaking, I got that impression, I guess. "He also loses consciousness if he give the keron star away willingly for some reason." When was this? Genuine question because I don't remember this and I want to see it. Unless you mean vol10, where I kinda got the impression that he just got captured because without (well, even With) the star he's pretty powerless. I feel like I'm missing something here. "Keroro still have the mood swings like the anime but in the manga when he is overwhelmed it seems like he just turns off completely and are void of any emotions" I have some... moments in mind... but please do give me examples (BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE IT!!!). To be fair, the anime kinda does the same? He pretty much turns off in ep64. I guess maybe they're more wishy-washy about it. But I think you mean specifically this, right?

I haven't gotten to this point in the anime yet, so no comment. But we 🤝🤝 about noticing how his mood swings are odd in the first place. Hmm... the way he also needs to receive some sort of blow to the head/lose consciousness to more easily access the powers of the Star... (if I have understood the moments right at least... and also, not always. strong emotions also activate it. but even if he knows this... does he actually have a full control on it?)

"(the author has stated in the databook that keroro is hard to read and are supposed to be scary when he have an neutral expression)" And man, he is. Also, which one is the databook? I have all the encyclopedias (I think?). So I was definitely right on the money anyway that the main point of Keroro's allure and even uneasiness (for us) is just how unreadable he is all the time. I kinda touched upon it here but ik you mean something different (when we can Actually see his face). But they go pretty much hand in hand. Shielding Keroro's expression from us or making it completely neutral makes us feel like we can't have a proper look at what his true thoughts and feelings are. Obviously something you implement in a character when they're hiding a big secret from the reader.

"The consensus of the Japanese fandom on keroro’s character is that he is secretly an extremely powerful and capable character but refuses to show his true aspects in any way other than to protect his friends and plays a character to hide it." I see. Checks out with the type of fancontent (fanarts and videos... anyway check this out it's a banger). I think I skew a bit to the side of this consensus. I don't know how to explain it well. I don't disagree, I just think there's even more going on. Some sort of awareness of something that it doesn't seem like he can change. Obviously like he has more experience than he lets on, like "he has done this before", or like he's so in touch with the contents of the keron star and those... unfortunately have some horrific knowledge for him in particular. I don't know if you're the same anon, but I only recently read vol23 and these + these were my takeaways (Just so we're on the same page on where I am mentally at, if I haven't forgotten about a post i made or something). Though naturally, his "sus journey" didn't start with him acquiring the keron star (as you mentioned), I just always felt like he didn't really "earn it" and it was always destined to him anyway, making his struggles with self esteem and lost potential entirely and ironically moot (on purpose). And that it's also something that he thinks he needs (to achieve a goal we're not aware of) but that is actually taking away from him and somewhat like a scam the whole time. If that makes sense? Here's a bunch of posts I made in the past that sorta paint an idea of what's in my brain about this whole thing 1 2 3 4 (sorry for giving you homework). Like, in my head, obviously there's a Reason he doesn't reveal himself/his potential and just bears this cross alone, you know? And on top of that, there must be a reason (besides earth atmosphere shenanigans) of why he used to be so hellbent on invasion as a child, and now he's constantly having sisyphean existential cryses trying to come up with invasion plans (or reverting to "working on them" when he's low enough or feels there's no way out) when it's clear he DOESN'T want to do it and is obviously just stalling. If he's so powerful as they say, why doesn't he do something about it? That's why I "skew" just a bit left of this general consensus. I hope that's clear and I'm not rambling.

3. "The first meeting of keroro and giroro in vol 29 is extremely sus for many reasons;" I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT SO. "firstly the way baby keroro speaks is just not how a normal child speaks in Japanese, kids are not supposed to speak like high rank military officers when they are in kindergarten (for your reference baby giroro who grew up in a family of military personnel does not speak like that)." Insanely interesting detail. For obvious reasons, I wasn't aware. I beg you to go into more details with this, I'd like to know the dialogues and like, a full analysis on why they're weird. "Secondly the whole thing about how keroro was in a hospital for a long period of time when he seems to be generally healthy as a kid." Oh I think about that all the time LMAO. Me having a good peaceful day then all of a sudden I think "what the fuck does THAT mean". As I said in the past, if he's saying the truth... why was he? And if he's lying... why WOULD HE? The way he literally just popped up one day and Giroro had never seen him before. SUS. "Thirdly, baby keroro seemed extremely intentional about invading earth and finding people to be part of his team and the fact that the keron army has tried to invade earth tens of thousands of times and failed." Yes one million percent. I agree and I definitely clocked that as well. Which makes me happy... maybe I'm not as clueless as I thought... "Also the fact that earth invasion is one of the most coveted missions in the keron army. Lastly, the fact that Garuru is there to oversee the interaction, Garuru is specifically stated to works for the higher ups and carries secret missions, he also oversees Kururu when he is still a kid, so the fact that he just happens to be there when keroro leaves the “hospital “doesn’t seem like a coincidence." I see... didn't know this about Garuru yet. Noted.

4. "Keroro has to be ancient." I'VE BEEN SAYING THAT. And not since I read vol23, but since 2023 (when I started the show/manga). It literally just makes sense. And there's just a lot of details that point to it, even early on! Glad to see I'm on the right track!! "In one of the relatively newer chapters there is a panel that straight up said there is a version of keroro in one of those ancient robots from the hot spring episode;" Kermit nod... I see... (which chapter? I wanna check it out). Also that's insane that they brought that back (but also makes sense, they were ancient technology that went unaddressed so...). "considering the time difference of keron and earth some version of keroro had to exist hundreds of thousands of years ago. Also the fact that Moa is stated to be 2000yrs old on earth time but have meet keroro as a child when keroro is supposed born 35yrs ago in earth time." Yeah. Honestly, with the sort of insane speculation I've done in my head, I've even thought that Keroro may be an attempt to bring whatever is inside Keron back to life, if the planet was some sort of living entity/perhaps even an egg, considering they look the same as well. But that's just unhinged talk... EITHER WAY. HE IS ANCIENT. I BEEN KNEW YEAH. But if you have more specific insight on this that I might've missed on account of my lowly bilinguism, please feel free to send.

"Sorry for the word dump but seeing discussions about keroro lore makes me excited lol" I hate keroro lore discussions. Never contact me or send me an ask ever again. I'm literally blocking you. ...KIDDING. Obviously, I love them too. Don't tell anyone but I skipped my lunch of re-heated pizza to answer this as quickly as I could, it took me about 2 hours. Now it's just cold pizza...

Well, um, I guess that's all I had to say about that.

EDIT: As it turns out I did have more to say actually. About that whole "situation he can't change" point I was talking about during the General Consensus bit, see my brief posts on Keroro wanting to be in control of the narrative which you find linked here.

Right here.

Because I feel like it fits too... and might just be the reason he was drawn to the Keron Star in the first place... to protect his friends, and to have control over events/other people's actions. Yes I'm making this point by using the anime... if that's not up to standard I'm sorry... I thought it fit.

[youngpettyqueen]

Trick AND treat! 😁 You can do two separate ones or combine them. And let Hawkeye take care of and fuss over Charles.

I tried so hard to come up with something for trick but my brain is not braining today. to make up for it, I added 250 words to a very fluffy, very silly idea because this hit me IMMEDIATELY upon getting this ask and it took everything in me to not write this while I was at work. maybe at some point I can come back with an idea for trick?? but I didnt want this to sit in my inbox forgotten so I hope you can forgive me only doing treat, at least for now

The first snow of the year comes, perhaps luckily, when they have children visiting. 

Charles woke that morning to the delighted shrieks and giggles of children, unmistakable in pitch and volume. The sound was so sweet he couldn’t be irritated at being woken up early, not that he’d ever admit that. He made sure to grouse thoroughly about the hour to his tentmates, knowing they’d rib him to lighten up before moving on, but would never let him live a moment of softness down. 

He’s taking a moment, now, to watch. It’s after breakfast, he has a shift to get to, but he knows that post-OP is quiet and can afford for him to be a couple minutes late. The children are running around, bundled in their mismatched winter jackets and too-big boots, donated surplus hats rolled up extra to stay out of their eyes. Some of them are sporting distinctly fashionable scarves, while others form snowballs in distinctly homemade mittens. They make angels in the snow, they make snowballs and throw them at each other, a few of the older ones are demonstrating how to make snowmen. 

They play. They laugh. They smile with missing teeth and genuine joy in their eyes. For a moment, just a moment, they’re children the way children should be. Charles is happy to sacrifice a quiet morning if it means-

A snowball hits the back of his head with a freezing, wet splat. 

Charles goes entirely rigid, snow sliding down the back of his coat and melting in his hair. A roar of laughter goes up from behind him, and he immediately knows just who that laugh belongs to. He whips around to fix Hawkeye with a glare, only to falter as his eyes skip right over where Hawkeye is doubled over wheezing and land on the young boy falling backwards into the snow, laughing and pointing. 

And, well. Who can blame him, if his irritation is snuffed out faster than a candle? Who could possibly be angry at the sight of a child laughing so hard he can’t stay on his feet?

Hawkeye straightens up, hands over his stomach, still laughing that goose honk laugh of his. And maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep down Charles can’t stay annoyed when he sees Hawkeye laughing right from his belly. Because that’s a rare sight these days, and maybe it makes the snow soaking into his shirt a bit less cold.

Of course, he can’t admit to that. Ever. So, he finishes his turn, schools his expression to raise a judgmental brow. “Ah, Pierce,” He greets, “I see you’ve found yourself a playmate. If only they’d take you with them when they leave. You’d blend right in.” He barbs, all huff and no bite. 

Hawkeye snickers, wiping at his eyes, “Sorry, Charles, but I couldn’t resist,” He offers as a weak apology as he hunkers down to help the boy back up to his feet, “Somebody’s gotta teach the kids the sacred way of the snowball fight, and somebody’s gotta be the target! Thank you for your service.” He grins, straightening himself back up.

The boy points at him again. “Gotcha good!” He declares, with a big smile that barely has front teeth.

Charles nods good-naturedly. “That you did, my fine young fellow,” He tells the boy. Looking back at Hawkeye, he suggests, “Perhaps your teachings might benefit from a second demonstration? Say, some return fire?” He stoops down to scoop up some snow in both hands, clapping it all together and starting to form a compact ball.

Hawkeye laughs incredulously at the sight. “Oh, he has some fight in him!” He crows, “What, did you have snowball fighting lessons? A private tutor in snowball form?” He jeers. 

Charles keeps his face carefully neutral as he forms the snowball in his hands. “Your confidence will be your doom,” He warns, straightening himself up, “Any last words?” 

Hawkeye settle into a smug grin, raising a challenging brow at him. “Bring it.” He dares. 

Charles allows himself a smile. He supposes it is fair for Hawkeye to assume he’s never so much as made a snowball, never mind participated in a snowball fight. It would be an activity most would likely assume he views as beneath him. 

They would be forgetting, however, that Charles is an older brother. And wealth and status mattered not, in matters where Honoria Winchester and her insatiable need to peg him in the head with a snowball were concerned. 

Hawkeye doesn’t see the snowball coming until it hits him square between the eyes and takes him off his feet. 

[gu6chan]

99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????

[rpmemegraveyard]

Never threatened to feed people's writing to A.I, just poor wording on my part.

Cool, you're still a fucking loser for going 'oh, (mun) doesn't interact with everyone' to another party who raised their concerns after being told by said mun 'no I won't make an AI for my character'!

Fuck out of my askbox, dude. You could've kept your mouth shut and interacted with c.ai without causing a stir. When has ANYBODY in that rpc even alluded to making character ai for their characters for public consumption? Cool, apologize all you want, but my points still stand. I think the ask itself at the very least made people aware of this possible threat, and again. It is possible a dipshit in another rpc has made this threat to indie writers in a different scenario.

AI has no place in the RPC.

[more-than-a-princess]

🌟💔🎲

Questions for the Mun - Accepting!

🌟 - Who was your very first rp muse?

Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, in what feels like a million years ago. My first OCs + Relena Peacecraft from Gundam Wing soon followed.

💔 - What’s something you dislike about your muse?

I think this question has two answers, really: what do I dislike about the muse based on what's given/shown in canon, and what do I dislike about the muse due to the fandom.

For the canon, there are times where I just hate seeing Sonia being taken advantage of/teased/etc. because she's sheltered and just doesn't know better, but she also doesn't effectively stand up for herself a lot either. Maybe it's some of the tropes DR puts her in, but I'd love to be a bit more snarky to characters who are being rude, as opposed to issuing commands that never really stick.

Additionally, and these aren't really Sonia's fault but how she's written: why give her military knowledge and prowess and not let her USE IT? Yes, having all weapons and methods of transport disabled in the Neo World Program simulation makes sense, but at the end of DR3 where she just...encourages Kazuichi instead of picking up a gun or driving a tank? For as ridiculous as DR can be at times, surely they could fit some sort of military vehicle onto that ship that she could commandeer. Super lame.

And don't get me started on her free time events. I love some of what the free time events reveal, but the whole bit of "Hajime looks like this hero of legend and I'll just happily co-rule and give him power equal to mine in Novoselic!" thing is just not okay to me. I don't like it. Therefore, my Sonia is the monarch and any partner she takes is her consort, end of story.

For the popular fandom opinions, I abhor the take of "Sonia is useless/her talent is useless and sucks, Sonia should have died to give Kazuichi character development/Hiyoko could have lived, Sonia is boring" arguments. And of course the Get rid of Sonia so we can have Kazuichi/Gundham" take. I had this issue in the Gundam Wing fandom long ago with people hating Relena because she got in the way of Heero/Duo.

Y'all, these are bad takes. Don't do it. There is nothing wrong with being a kind, generous, friendly, compassionate female character.

🎲 - Do you have a favorite board game?

When I was younger, it was definitely Clue and Trivial Pursuit! To the point that I gave Sonia Cluedo as a favorite childhood game growing up: I think she'd enjoy it.

As an adult, I still love trivia, but I also enjoy Betrayal at House on the Hill and Cards Against Humanity. The horror, of recalling facts at the drop of a hat, a haunted house, and seeing just how much of a terrible/sarcastic person you can be.

Does anyone else remember online Cards Against Humanity but you're playing IC as your muse(s)? That should make a comeback.

[eterniityblooms]

updated my rules to include shipping info + a bit more about my monster muses specifically, since shipping with at LEAST one muse on this account is probably inevitable at some point

[janeromeroshow]

Send ☠️ for something that will result in a instant unfollow from you

MUNDAY NO-NO AND YES LIST

Send ☠️ for something that will result in a instant unfollow from you

i wanna preface this by saying that there's very few things that will actually constitute an instant unfollow from me, but one seemingly inconspicious one that possibly makes me sound like a broken record is this; seeing people blatantly disregard or ignore female characters. idk i just cannot STAND it when i see blogs who'll almost go out of their way to avoid interacting with female muses. i don't exactly go through people's blogs logging the gender ratio of their interactions or anything deranged like that, but it's happened before where i'll notice that a blog has literally zero interest on interacting with a female muse and just at that point i don't think there's any reason for me to follow them in that case shrug.

[the-kipsabian]

oh btw my birthday is in exactly three months :)

[savi0rr]

Darling Wife .ᐟ

Viktor x Fem! Reader

In which, Viktor has a sweet wife that, weirdly enough, no one really knew about.

a/n: hi divas! Erm this is my first time writing for Viktor so I'm sorry if he sounds out of character.

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"Viktor? What is that on your finger?" Jayce inquired, suddenly appearing behind Viktor and peering curiously over his shoulder. Viktor felt a knot form in his stomach as he glanced down at his hand, where a gleaming wedding band rested snugly on his finger. He cursed under his breath, realizing he had meant to remove it but had completely forgotten in the whirlwind of his work.

"Just a ring," Viktor replied evasively, casting a quick look back at Jayce while clicking his tongue in annoyance. Jayce, however, was undeterred. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest, a teasing smirk forming on his lips. "Isn’t that the same finger where wedding rings typically go?" he challenged, his eyes narrowing with curiosity. "Don’t tell me you actually have a wife?"

Viktor maintained his silence, his heart racing in response to Jayce’s playful interrogation. "Even if I did, I wouldn't share that information with you," he said tersely, redirecting his attention back to the Hextech gemstone in front of him, his mind racing as he tried to refocus on his work.

Jayce, still leaning casually against the desk, raised his eyebrow further, the smirk on his face beginning to fade away. He studied Viktor’s expression closely, a frown of confusion.

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“Viktor has a wife? That’s just absurd,” Mel declared, waving her hand dismissively as if to brush away the very notion. 

“No, I swear! He’s actually wearing a wedding ring. When I asked him about it, he responded with, ‘Even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you,’” Jayce insisted, leaning closer to Mel's desk, his hands planted firmly on the surface.

Mel rolled her eyes in disbelief, leaning back in her chair and letting her hands fall into her lap. “Who on Earth would marry Viktor?” she whispered, her curiosity piqued as she leaned forward slightly, her expression a mix of intrigue and skepticism. “No offense, but…” she trailed off, momentarily glancing away, her thoughts clearly racing.

Jayce sighed, exasperated. “I mean, it’s not the best image, is it?” he muttered, shrugging as he contemplated the idea. His mind seemed to wander as he contemplated the strange pairing. “Plus, why do you even care?” Mel asked, raising an eyebrow at him, a hint of playful challenge in her voice. “Because I want to know what she looks like!” he responded with a hint of frustration, glancing off to the side, and groaning.

Mel pondered for a moment, her brow furrowing. “Even if he did have a wife, wouldn’t she be here at the Academia with him?” she pointed out, her curiosity beginning to overshadow her previous skepticism. “That’s exactly what I’m saying!” Jayce exclaimed, running his fingers through his hair in agitation. “It doesn’t add up!”

With a sigh, Mel straightened up, her expression turning serious. “Look, I have much bigger problems to deal with than figuring out who Viktor is married to,” she stated firmly.

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"When do you think he sees his wife?" Mel asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she peeked around the corner of the dimly lit hallway. The soft glow of fluorescent lights flickered overhead, casting shadows on the walls of the Academia. Jayce followed her gaze, cautiously poking his head out to get a better look.

"Hmm... maybe when he isn’t buried under a mountain of work," Jayce mused, tilting his head and furrowing his brow in thought. His dark hair fell slightly over his forehead, and he swept it back with a casual motion. Mel, with an exasperated huff, rolled her eyes dramatically. 

"You should know this! You’re his partner, for crying out loud," she murmured, her tone tinged with disbelief as she crossed her arms. Jayce's expression shifted to one of sheepishness, his cheeks flushing slightly as he glanced away, avoiding her accusatory gaze.

"But I leave before him. I'm already gone by the time he usually starts his day. And when I come back to the lab, it’s always just him—working away, lost in his experiments," Jayce replied, his shoulders lifting in a shrug that conveyed both confusion and resignation. He could sense Mel's frustration, but the truth was, Viktor’s work schedule was a puzzle he had yet to solve.

Mel sighed heavily, her brow knitting together in thought. "How do you not know… never mind," she grumbled, her voice trailing off as she turned her attention back to Viktor, who was at that moment preparing to leave. 

"Shhh!" Jayce hissed urgently, his eyes widening as he quickly placed a hand over Mel's mouth, the sound echoing loudly in the stillness. They both watched in silence as Viktor slowly began to rise, gripping his crutch tightly under his arm while gathering his belongings with meticulous care. He seemed unaware of the two pairs of eyes on him, lost in his own world.

Viktor gripped his documents as he walked down the hallway, his eyes narrowed. He made his way down to the back of the Academia, opening a door. Jayce and Mel looking out the window from the other story. "The hell is he doing?" Jayce muttered under his breath. "Look," Mel said, spotting you not too far in the distance. "Is that his wife?" Jayce whispered.

"Viktor." You spoke up, smiling when you saw him. You stood up from the bench you were sitting at. Viktor eagerly wobbled over to you. "I've been waiting." You teased lightly, taking the documents from his hand and placing them down on the bench. Viktor could only stare at you. He hadn't seen you in a while. But he'd never say that he missed you. "How are you doing?" You asked gently, guiding him to sit down, placing his crutch aside. "I've been...well," Viktor said plainly. "I could be better." He muttered, glancing off to the side. You nodded, sitting beside him. You glanced down at his hand, raising an eyebrow. "You wore your wedding ring?" You asked, a small smile forming on your face. Viktor's cheeks warmed a bit, sighing. "I meant to take it off." He grumbled as his fingers ran over the wedding band. "I'm glad you wore it. It suits you." You giggled lightly, placing your hand over his.

Meanwhile, with Jayce and Mel, they could only stare in shock. "Of course, he has a pretty wife too!" Jayce groaned as he shook his head. "Of course," Mel muttered as she sweat drops. "Who knew she was so darling?"

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[gf2bellamy]

drunk — spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x reader ( no use of y/n ) summary: spencer is drunk and is spilling things about your relationship content warnings: established relationship, drunk spencer, the team mocking them a/n: i've never had a sip of alcohol so if i made any mistake i'm very sorry honestly i just went of what i've seen in tv shows, movies and books

The neon glow of the bar cast a warm haze over the room as you sat nestled in the corner booth, sipping your soda.

The ice clinked softly against the glass as you absentmindedly swirled the straw, half-listening to Garcia and Emily’s gossip.

Their conversation faded into the background, however, as your attention drifted elsewhere—specifically, to the two men across the room. 

Spencer Reid, cheeks flushed and eyes bright, was talking at a rapid pace, gesturing wildly with his hands as Derek Morgan grinned at him, clearly entertained. Your brows furrowed as Derek slid another drink into Spencer’s hands. 

You sighed, not bothering to hide your disapproval. 

“What’s up with you?” Emily asked, her head tilting slightly as she sipped from her drink. 

“That.” You nodded toward the scene unfolding across the room. 

Emily followed your gaze just in time to see Spencer take another eager gulp of whatever Derek had handed him. A second later, Derek’s mouth dropped open before he burst into laughter, clapping Spencer on the back like a proud older brother. 

“Yeah… Morgan’s having way too much fun with drunk Spencer,” you muttered, narrowing your eyes at them. 

Spencer, completely unaware of your scrutiny, continued rambling, his hands moving faster than his words. Meanwhile, Derek's smile just grew bigger and bigger.

Garcia snorted. “Oh, come on, it’s adorable.” 

You weren’t sure if you’d call it adorable. More like mildly concerning. Because if history had taught you anything, drunk Spencer Reid was unpredictable—and God help anyone who had to deal with him when the alcohol finally hit its peak. 

And from the looks of it, the moment was about to happen or based on Derek's grin , has happened already.

“What is he doing?” you mumbled, eyes narrowing as you watched the two of them. You had a bad feeling about this. 

Garcia glanced at you with a smirk. “Sweetheart, we are at a bar. That’s what people do. You know… drink?” She gestured pointedly at your own glass. 

You scoffed, lifting your soda in mock acknowledgment. “Yeah, well, some of us have to drive,” you muttered before taking another sip. 

Before Garcia could quip back, you caught movement out of the corner of your eye. Derek had turned toward you, a slow, knowing grin spreading across his face.

Oh no. 

Your stomach dropped. “Oh god,” you muttered. 

Oblivious to what was happening around him, Spencer continued rambling, hands flailing dramatically.

You watched, unamused, as Derek made his way over to you, his smirk growing wider with every step.

Trailing beside him, Spencer was entirely oblivious. He barely paid attention to where he was walking, nearly stumbling into Derek at one point, but that didn’t stop him. 

When they finally reached your booth, Derek didn’t even bother with pleasantries. Instead, he kept his gaze locked on you, his grin downright devious. 

“You don’t say?” he mused, clearly continuing whatever conversation Spencer had been having—though it was obvious his real focus was on you. 

Spencer finally seemed to register where he was, his hazy eyes flickering to you. He blinked, as if surprised to see you there. 

“Hi,” he said, his voice slightly softer than before. 

Before you could respond, he slid into the booth beside you—well, more like half on top of you. He scooted in so close that his thigh was practically draped over yours. 

You stared at him. “Hi.” 

He grinned, leaning in ever so slightly, the scent of alcohol and something distinctly Spencer clinging to him. His eyes, glassy but bright, studied your face with open admiration, like he was seeing you for the first time all over again. 

His curls were a mess, strands falling over his face, making him look even more disheveled than usual. You reached up instinctively, tucking a stray lock behind his ear, but he barely seemed to notice. 

“Seems like you’re having fun,” you murmured, shifting your gaze to Derek, who was watching the interaction with barely contained amusement. 

Derek simply shrugged. “Guess so.” 

You turned back to Spencer, who was still staring at you—completely dazed, his hazel eyes glassy and unfocused, like you were the most fascinating thing in the room. 

With a chuckle, Derek turned his attention to Garcia and Emily, leaving you to deal with your very drunk boyfriend. 

“You okay?” you asked softly, tilting your head as you brushed more of his hair out of his face. 

Spencer hummed in response, his eyes fluttering shut for a second before he blinked them open again. “Mhm.” 

You let your fingers linger in his curls, absentmindedly threading through them, and Spencer melted under your touch. 

“What were you telling Derek back there?” you asked, keeping your voice gentle, watching as his eyelids drooped slightly. 

He mumbled something incoherent before finally managing, “M’don’t remember.” 

Before you could press further, he sighed contently and let his head drop onto your shoulder, his body going slack against yours. 

Your hand was still tangled in his hair and you felt his breath fan against your neck as he let out another sleepy hum. 

Now Garcia and Emily were both staring at you, matching grins on their faces. You frowned. 

“What?” you asked warily. 

Emily’s smile widened. “Oh, nothing. It’s just… Spencer had a lot to say about you.” 

On cue, Spencer lifted his head from your shoulder at the sound of his name, his movements slow and a little clumsy. You turned to him, raising an eyebrow. 

His brows furrowed in concentration, as if trying to grasp onto a fleeting thought. “I remember now,” he said, dragging out the words, squeezing his eyes shut like that might help jog his memory. “I think.” 

You waited, not sure if you wanted to hear whatever was about to come out of his mouth. 

“I told them… about how much you like touching my hair,” he finally said, his voice a little too loud, like he was completely unaware of the fact that everyone was now hanging onto his every word. 

Your mouth fell open. “What?” 

You whipped your head toward Emily, Garcia, and Derek—who were all watching you with knowing smirks, looking way too amused for your liking. 

“Oh, and I told them about how you—” he paused, blinking a few times, “—always trace patterns on my back when you think I’m asleep.” 

Your face burned. 

Spencer, oblivious to your horror, continued, his voice dreamy and soft. “And how you always steal my cardigans, even though you claim they drown you and make you look ridiculous. But I know you secretly love wearing them.”

Derek let out a full laugh, shaking his head. “Oh, this is gold.” 

Garcia sighed dramatically, clutching her chest. “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.” 

You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “Spencer, why—” 

He leaned in even closer, his lips nearly brushing your ear as he whispered—though it wasn’t much of a whisper at all, given his current state—“And I told them that you—” 

You slapped a hand over his mouth before he could say anything else. 

Spencer blinked at you, wide-eyed, and you felt his lips curl into a grin against your palm. 

“Okay, Spence, I need you to stop talking now,” you said firmly, your hand still covering his mouth. 

Spencer blinked at you, his hazel eyes glassy with amusement. Slowly , hesitantly , you removed your hand, watching him like he was a ticking time bomb. 

Then you turned to your friends. 

“Don’t,” you warned, narrowing your eyes as Derek parted his lips, no doubt ready to deliver some smart remark. 

Derek smirked. “But—” 

“Don’t say anything,” you groaned, already exhausted, cutting him off with a pointed look. 

Emily took a slow, deliberate sip of her drink, her expression entirely unreadable as she observed the chaos unfolding in front of her. 

Penelope, however, was a different story. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” she cooed, placing a hand over her heart as she looked between you and Spencer like you were her new favorite romance novel come to life. “This is adorable. I mean, we knew you were soft for our resident genius, but this?” She gestured at Spencer, who was still pressed against you, his head once again finding its way to your shoulder. “This is next-level domesticity.” 

You sighed, “I am never letting him drink around you guys again.” 

Spencer hummed sleepily against your shoulder. “M’not even that drunk.” 

Derek let out a loud laugh. “Oh, you so are.” 

Spencer attempted to lift his head in protest but gave up halfway and settled deeper into your side. “M’just happy,” he mumbled, and if your heart didn’t squeeze at that, you’d be lying. 

Emily set down her drink, eyes glinting with mischief. “So, what else does our drunk genius have to say about you?” 

You shot her a glare. “Emily.” 

Spencer, on the other hand, perked up slightly, as if the question had unlocked another memory. 

“Oh!” he said suddenly, lifting his head, a dreamy smile spreading across his face. “I also told Derek about how you always fall asleep on my chest when we watch movies, even though you swear you never fall asleep during movies.” 

Derek actually clapped at that one. “Man, you are so whipped.” 

You buried your face in your hands as Garcia gasped dramatically, reaching for Emily’s arm like she might faint. “They’re so disgustingly cute! .” 

Spencer, now clearly on a roll, turned his dopey, love-struck gaze back to you. “And I told them—” 

You groaned. “Spencer!” 

He grinned, resting his forehead against your shoulder. “Love you,” he mumbled sleepily. 

You patted Spencer’s thigh three times—a silent I love you, too, acting as if you weren't melting completely on the inside. You weren’t about to give your friends any more teasing material. 

“We’re going home,” you announced, realizing how sleepy Spencer was getting. 

Derek groaned dramatically. “Oh, come on. We wanna hear more.” His grin was absolutely wicked. 

At that, Spencer lifted his head slightly, as if he was about to continue his drunken confessions. 

You shot him a look—a playful but very clear don’t even think about it kind of look. “Spence.” 

His lips parted like he was going to argue, but instead, he let out a soft hum and dropped his head back onto your shoulder, completely surrendering. 

Derek laughed. "Man, he's totally wrapped around your finger."

You ignored him, instead rubbing soothing circles into Spencer’s back. His eyes fluttered closed, and he was half-asleep, his weight pressing into you completely. 

“One word about this at work,” you warned, shifting your gaze between the three of them, “and I’m never talking to you guys again.” 

Emily smirked over the rim of her glass. “Oh, sure. No words at work. Can’t promise about the PowerPoint presentation Garcia is definitely going to make, though.” 

Garcia gasped, scandalized. “Emily, you know me so well.” 

You groaned. “I hate all of you.” Derek chuckled, waving you off. “Nah, you love us.” 

Spencer hummed sleepily. “Mhm. Love them.” 

You sighed, adjusting him slightly. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s get you home, Dr. Love-Confessions.” 

“Okay, come on,” you sighed, scooting Spencer out of the booth. He stood—well, wobbled—barely managing to keep himself upright. 

You steadied him with a hand on his arm as he instinctively laced his fingers through yours, clearly unwilling to let go. His drunken state had made him extra clingy, but you weren’t exactly complaining. 

Turning back to your friends, you gave them a pointed look. “I’ll see you all at work,” you said, voice laced with warning. “Where we’re only going to have professional conversations. Got it?” 

Emily smirked, raising her glass in mock agreement. “Oh, sure. Definitely professional.” 

Garcia let out a dramatic sigh. “No gossip whatsoever,” she said, not even trying to sound convincing. 

Derek just grinned, shaking his head. “Yeah, good luck with that.” 

Meanwhile, Spencer was barely paying attention to any of this. His eyes had glazed over, staring blankly into the distance as if lost in thought—or maybe just lost in general. 

You exhaled, already exhausted and thinking of calling in sick. 

“You,” you said, pointing a finger at Derek, “you get to pay for both our drinks.” 

Derek’s eyebrows shot up, realization dawning on him. “Whoa, hold up—” 

“Nope,” you cut him off immediately, shaking your head. “Not happening. You let him get like this, you pay for it.” 

Derek let out a laugh, looking at Spencer, who was still in his own little world. “Man, I didn’t force him to drink.” 

You shrugged. “Don’t care. Enjoy the bill.” You tugged Spencer’s hand, leading him toward the exit. 

“Bye,” he mumbled sleepily, barely loud enough to be heard. His steps were slow, and his body felt heavier against yours.

You pushed open the door with your free hand, the cool night air rushing past you. Spencer let out a quiet sigh at the change in temperature, his grip on your hand tightening just a little.

Without thinking, you started tracing slow, comforting circles with your thumb over his skin. 

Spencer hummed softly, leaning into you as you walked toward the car. “Feels nice,” he mumbled. 

You glanced at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah?” 

“Mhm,” he nodded lazily, his curls falling into his face again. “You always do that.” 

“I guess I do,” you smiled softly at your boyfriend, your heart warm as he squeezed your hand tighter. 

Spencer didn’t seem to notice how tightly he was holding onto you as you arrived next to your car. But when you tried to pull your hand out of his grasp, he made a small noise of protest, a soft whimper that almost made you stop in your tracks. 

“Spence,” you said gently, “I need to look for my keys.” 

His hand reluctantly loosened, but his gaze never left you. You opened your bag, rummaging through the contents, your eyes scanning for the keys. 

“You usually keep them in your front pocket,” Spencer mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. 

You froze, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, right.” 

Without missing a beat, you reached into your front pocket, feeling the familiar jingle of your keys. “Thanks, Spence,” you murmured, more to yourself than him, as you unlocked the car. 

You quickly moved to open the passenger door, holding it wide. “Okay, come on. Sit down.” 

Spencer gave you a sleepy, lazy look but you gently tugged him towards the car, your touch soft yet insistent. His steps were slow, and as he started to get into the car, you reached up to guide his head down so he wouldn’t hit it on the top of the doorframe. 

“Head down,” you instructed, your voice a little more authoritative than usual, though the affection in your tone made it clear you were only looking out for him. 

Spencer let out a soft, obedient hum as he finally slumped into the passenger seat. His body collapsed back into the seat like a ragdoll, eyes heavy. 

“Good,” you said, closing the door behind him, watching as he settled into the seat, already half-asleep. 

As you slid into the driver's seat and closed the door behind you, you glanced over at Spencer. His head was resting against the seat, eyes shut, his expression soft and peaceful. You couldn’t help but feel a little bad for disturbing his rest. 

“Do you want to go to your apartment?” you asked quietly, glancing at him as you started the car. 

Spencer’s voice was barely above a whisper when he replied, “I wanna stay with you.” 

You paused, looking at him—his face relaxed, eyes still closed as if he were half in a dream. Your fingers itched to reach out, and you gently brushed a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. He hummed contentedly at the contact, leaning into your touch without even realizing it. 

You smiled softly, your heart melting at how utterly endearing he was. “Okay. We’ll go to my apartment, then.” 

You drove in silence for a few minutes, just listening to the soft hum of the engine and Spencer’s breathing. It wasn’t long before you arrived, and as you parked in your spot, you glanced over at him.

He hadn’t moved, still in the same sleepy position, his head leaning against the seat. 

“Spence,” you said gently, turning off the car. “We’re here.” 

All he did was hum in response, barely acknowledging you. 

You sighed softly, knowing this was going to take a little effort. Stepping out of the car, you closed your door quietly before making your way to the passenger side. 

When you opened the door, Spencer was practically asleep, his head resting against the seat, lips slightly parted. He looked so peaceful, you almost felt bad for waking him. 

“Spence,” you muttered, reaching out to touch his shoulder lightly. He didn’t budge. 

You frowned, leaning in slightly—careful not to hit your head on the car frame—as you gave his shoulder a firmer shake. Still nothing. 

“Spencer,” you said a little louder, this time with a touch of amusement in your voice. 

Finally, he stirred, cracking one eye open lazily. 

“Hi,” you greeted with a soft smile, watching as he blinked sluggishly. 

He let out a slow breath, rubbing his face with one hand. “We’re here?” he mumbled, voice thick with exhaustion. 

“Yeah,” you chuckled. “Come on, let’s get you inside.” 

Spencer groaned lightly, shifting in his seat as if even the thought of moving was too much effort. 

You reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. “I’ll help you, but you have to stand up, Spence.” 

With a deep sigh, he finally nodded and let you pull him to his feet. He swayed slightly, and you immediately steadied him, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

“Whoa there, genius,” you murmured, adjusting your grip. “Let’s not face-plant in the parking lot.” 

Spencer huffed out a sleepy chuckle, leaning into you more than he probably realized. “You’re warm,” he muttered. 

You rolled your eyes, but your smile never faded. “Yeah, well, let’s get you inside where it’s actually warm, okay?” 

“Okay,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper as you guided him inside the building. He leaned into you slightly, his steps slow and heavy. 

As you waited in front of the elevator, the only sound was the distant hum of fluorescent lights and the occasional ding from the floors above. You tapped your foot lightly against the tile, watching the numbers slowly descend. 

Then, out of nowhere, Spencer spoke again, his voice soft but certain. 

“I like you a lot, you know that?” 

You turned to look at him, surprised by the sudden confession, but the sincerity in his hazel eyes made your heart melt. His gaze was a little unfocused, heavy with sleep and alcohol, but the emotion behind his words was crystal clear. 

“I know, Spence,” you said, smiling warmly as you reached up and brushed his curls away from his face again. It was something so simple, yet something you always found yourself doing.

He leaned into your touch instinctively, his body seeking out your warmth. 

The elevator doors finally slid open with a ding, and you gently tugged his hand to lead him inside. As soon as the doors shut, Spencer sighed and rested his head on your shoulder, his body completely relaxed against yours. 

“You smell nice,” he murmured, his voice muffled against your jacket. 

You let out a soft laugh, wrapping an arm around him for support. “Thanks, Spence. You smell like alcohol and bad decisions.” 

He chuckled sleepily, barely lifting his head. “Bad decisions? No, no. Liking you is the best decision.” 

Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, you just stared at him, warmth spreading through your chest. Even drunk and barely coherent, Spencer Reid somehow managed to be the sweetest person alive. 

The elevator doors opened, and you shook your head fondly, guiding him toward your apartment. “Come on, Casanova. Let’s get you to bed before you pass out in the hallway.” 

Spencer let out a hum of agreement, still clinging onto your hand like he never wanted to let go. 

You let go of him just long enough to unlock the door, pushing it open before guiding him inside. As soon as you shut it behind you, Spencer immediately reached for you again, clinging onto you like he had no intention of letting go. 

You sighed fondly, helping him shrug off his jacket while he clumsily toed off his shoes.

“Okay, Spencer, just a couple more steps,” you encouraged, wrapping an arm around his waist as you led him toward your bedroom. 

When you reached the bed, he sat down heavily, sighing as his body sunk into the mattress. His eyes scanned the room, though they were hazy with sleep. “I like your room,” he mumbled, as if just realizing where he was. 

You smiled softly, watching as he flopped back against the pillows, his head sinking into the plush fabric. 

“Me too,” you murmured, standing by the edge of the bed as you watched him. 

Spencer’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment, but then, with a small, sleepy smile, he peeked up at you again. 

“You know… I think my favorite thing about your room is that you live in it,” he said, his voice thick with exhaustion but filled with sincerity. 

Your heart swelled at the unexpected sweetness of his words. 

You shook your head with a soft laugh, brushing his curls out of his face once more. “You’re such a sap when you’re drunk, Spence.” 

His smile grew just a little. “M’not drunk,” he mumbled, already halfway to sleep. “Just in love.” 

You felt warmth spread through your chest as you pulled the blanket over him, watching as he relaxed further into the bed. 

“Go to sleep, Spencer,” you whispered, but the smile on your lips never faded. 

[em1i2a3]

My Desire

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Avengers!Fem!Reader(Ex-HYDRA)

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI!, Mentions of Past Violence/Blood, Mentions of Stabbing (the reader has a scar from an incident involving Bucky/The Winter Soldier), Swearing, PTSD, Bucky kind of goes through some guilt in this, Enemies to Lovers, Fake Relationship Trope, BDSM Club Mission, Unintended Voyeurism, Mentions/References to Exhibitionism, Smut; fingering, oral sex (fem! Receiving), spitting, some nipple play, handjob, a bit of a praise kink if you squint, a little bit of a pain kink if you squint, P in V sex (unprotected, you know the drill though…Wrap it before going heels to Jesus), Shower Sex . Beefy Bucky is the current squeeeeeeeze if y’all know what I mean.

Author's Note: Wheew, I decided to take the trope of Enemies to Lovers and Fake Relationships to the next level. Ah, I love tropes, especially when you can throw everything and the kitchen sink at it. I did change some contextual stuff up a little bit just to suit the needs of the story. Hope y’all enjoy :) Sorry it took so long to get a new piece out btw, I’ve been studying for a licensing thing and that’s been literally consuming my time!

Word Count: 23,866

Next Part: Girls Like You

The air in the debriefing room was thick and suffocating when you walked in that morning. The night before you had received an urgent call from Maria Hill asking if you could attend a meeting for the next day, you were caught off guard by the request, but you were also curious as to what she was going to assign you, so you had taken the opportunity and agreed.

Maria stood at the front of the room, face flat, unreadable. You could sense there was someone else in the room, noticing one of the chairs was turned away from you, but out of the corner of your eye you could see the slight shine of the all-too-familiar metal arm, only now it was black, shiny, a new model. Your stomach dropped almost in an instant, a deep-seated regret immediately hitting you in the face. The chair turned, and you were met with the cold, desolate blue eyes, and scowl that you had seen on CCTV and up close. He was the shell of someone you once thought you knew.

Bucky Barnes.

He leaned back in his seat with his broad arms crossed over his chest, looking almost as irritated as you. He looked like he had gained a lot more muscle since the last time you saw him, and it was evident just by the way his biceps strained against the fabric of his t-shirt, and how he shifted uncomfortably in the chair he was in, his thighs spreading slightly to try and find a position he felt good in. He had trimmed his hair, it was not instantly noticeable, but when you replayed your last interaction in your head daily, it was easy to recognize the changes he physically made to himself.

“Just the person I wanted to see at 8 am.” He muttered, the words edging with sarcasm, casting a pointed look at Maria. You let out a slow, exaggerated exhale.

”Can’t believe you’re still fucking breathing.” You commented, watching him glance over his shoulder, tilting his head.

”Disappointed?” He asked mockingly.

”Absolutely devastated.” Bucky huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head.

”Yeah, guess we can’t all get what we want.” Your fingers twitched at your sides.

”Oh, I don’t know,” You mused, “Last time I checked, you got exactly what you wanted. A knife through my fucking chest, if I’m remembering correctly of course.” He groaned.

”Can’t believe you’re still going on about that. It’s been two years, sweetheart. Get over it.” You could feel your blood curdling beneath your skin, as you balled your hands into tight fists.

”Get over it? I was hospitalized for almost seven months.” He spun around on his chair to face you, one eyebrow raised.

”And? You’re still here are you not? You scoffed at him.

“Yeah, walking proof that you failed your fucking mission.” `He rolled his eyes.

”Not like I didn’t try to finish the job, remember?” Your jaw clenched at his comment, a phantom pain itching in the middle of your chest, radiating down to the center of your sternum, the exact spot his knife had pierced through, where he had twisted.

“Oh, I remember. Evidently, you do too. You must get off to it.” You spat back, watching as Bucky’s smirk vanished from his face. You could’ve sworn you heard the metal of his hand squeaking when he balled it up in a fist. You should’ve stopped there, but you couldn’t let this one go.

”You must really love replaying it,” You sneered, “The way I was pinned under you, screaming at you to let me go, the begging, and the way you took such fucking pleasure in driving that knife in slow-.” Bucky moved so fast you barely saw it coming. He was in your space in a split second, towering over you, his eyes burning holes through yours.

”You going to keep talking?” His voice was low and threatening, his eyes studying you, looking at the way you didn’t back down and recoil. He could see the fire in your eyes, the rage shaking behind them.

“Oh? Did I hit a nerve?” You said, feigning shock, poking the bear even more, watching his jaw clench.

“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.” He growled, stepping closer, his hot breath now fanning over your face, once again you didn’t move back.

“You may have everyone else fooled with your ‘I was brainwashed by HYDRA, I had no control’ schtick, but you and I both know that’s just bullshit.” Bucky’s metal hand immediately launched out at you, grabbing onto the collar of your shirt, yet you remained still, your breath hitching in your throat. Maria jumped into action quickly, making her way over to the scene.

“HEY!” She yelled, putting herself between the both of you, one hand pressing against Bucky’s chest, while the other pushed against your shoulder, attempting to separate the impending fight before it started. Neither of you broke eye contact, as Maria continued to try to make additional space, “Let go of her Bucky.” She commanded, he didn’t flinch, his grip only tightened more, his ice-cold gaze staring at you.

“You want to start something?” Maria added, “Because I promise you, you will not like how it fucking ends. Now let. Go.” She demanded through clenched teeth. There is a beat of silence that comes up between the three of you, as he slowly unclenches his hand, releasing your shirt from his grasp. You shake yourself out a bit, adjusting your top which had now been stretched from how hard he pulled you, the neckline now hanging loosely on your chest. Maria spun around on her heel, looking at you.

“Do you have a fucking death wish?” She snapped.

“You’re the one that brought him here, what did you expect me to do? Give him a warm welcome?” She let out a frustrated sigh.

“No. I expect you to act like a professional.” She replied, taking a step closer, “But instead you’re playing chicken with someone who can snap your neck like a twig if he wanted to.” You felt your jaw clench at her words, seething at the tone she was taking.

“And what about him?! He’s the one that got physical first.” She shook her head.

“Yeah because you baited him for a reaction.” She shot back, “We have invested a lot of time and effort undoing what HYDRA did to him. But you can’t be surprised when he has a very human reaction when reminded of the things he’s done in the past.” You could practically feel your blood boiling at this point, hearing the condescending tone she was taking.

“Sure. Let’s just keep making excuses for poor little Bucky who’s trying to figure out how to be a person again.” He stiffened at your words, it wasn’t obvious, but you could see the slight shift.

“Well. At least HYDRA made me useful for something. What’s your excuse?” The second the words left his mouth you saw red.

“Okay. That’s enough!” Maria yelled before you could say anything back, before you could retaliate. Bucky watched you carefully, knowing he won that round. Maria dragged a hand down her face, already exhausted from this encounter, realizing it was only going to get worse once she gave a debrief on the mission she needed to assign them.

“Can we all just please…Sit the fuck down now so we can get on with this meeting?” She asked, pinching the bridge of her nose. You squinted at Bucky, seeing a smirk come up on his face, as he turned around and returned to his seat, the chair creaking under his weight. You huffed, biting into your cheek while you walked to the other side of the conference table, taking a seat opposite of him, avoiding his eyes which were now watching you.

“Alright…” Maria sighed, grabbing two manilla folders from the front cart near the television, sliding one toward you, and the other toward Bucky. You flipped open the file without hesitation, scanning the contents inside, glancing across from you to see that Bucky mirrored your actions, though you could sense he was not paying attention fully.

Timothy Orkolov was the target's name, aged 48, nationality Russian, known aliases; ‘Red Fang’. A high-resolution CCTV image of him was stapled to the corner of the first page. He was midstride, dressed in a long, navy blue, double-breasted overcoat, and black dress pants, with sunglasses pushed against his face, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. His salt and pepper beard was trimmed with precision, and his dark brown hair was slicked back and shiny. He looked like a businessman, that was for sure.

"Orkolov has been on our radar for over two years," Maria began, tapping her fingers against the table, her gaze flickering from you to Bucky, "He isn’t just an arms dealer, he’s a facilitator. A broker of power. He’s connected to corrupt officials, private militias, and underground trade networks spanning across Europe. He doesn’t just sell weapons, he sells wars." You glance up at Bucky, watching his jaw tighten slightly at Maria's brief description.

“Great…So he’s a criminal. Why haven’t you guys sent out agents from your team, why do you need us?” You ask, pushing the file away and sitting back in your chair.

“Because we have already sent in our regular agents. Three times actually. They all ended up dead. Does that answer your question?” You glance over at Bucky, who is still flipping through the file, ignoring the conversation.

“So instead of sending one of your own, you decided it was a good idea to throw us at the problem instead? What are we? Expendables?”You questioned, Maria tapped her fingers against the table, feeling an argument beginning.

“No. You’re necessary. We were able to get both of you on his guest list at his club ‘The Velvet Fang’. That’s one step further than the other times we’ve attempted to get someone in.” There is a hint of familiarity that flashes in Bucky’s eyes, as he pushes the file away as well, you can see behind his stoic expression that the cogs in his head are turning.

“Did you use our real names?” He asked, his voice stern, almost like he knew the answer already.

“Yes…Yes, we gave them your real names.” Maria responded quietly, knowing that she had made a mistake. Bucky scoffs.

“No wonder we got on the list…” He ran his hand over his face, glancing over at you, seeing the confusion in your eyes.

“We needed to establish credibility,” Maria said, her voice choking up, a little on edge, not knowing what Bucky was going to do next.

“You needed credibility,” He repeated, the sharp tone of rage boiling beneath his words, “So you decided to hand our names to him on a silver platter? How could you think that was a good idea?” He questioned.

“We had no other ch-”

“Don’t bullshit me, Maria!” He snapped, turning his anger towards you now, “And how could you not be freaking out about this?!” You looked at him now, shrugging.

“Hey, it’s not a life-or-death situation for me. Unlike you, my name isn’t attached to war crimes, assassinations, and a century-long kill list.” He breathed in slowly, trying to compose himself, attempting to lower his anger.

“Just because you couldn’t stomach your orders and defected from HYDRA doesn’t mean anything. How do you think I tracked you down?” He shot back.

“That has no connection to this. Orkolov wouldn’t want anything to do with me because I’m not a fucking animal, an ex-HYDRA member with no hits is not a hot commodity for people like him.” Bucky sat back, his hands rubbing along his pants.

“Being a passive participant doesn’t stop an arms dealer from using you. It’ll be very easy to get you back into your old programming.” Maria looked over at you, watching as you dug your nails into your palm, your jaw clenching at his words.

“There is no old programming to go back to,” You bit out, “I never completed their training and I didn’t get the chair to try to erase who I was either, so you can stop fucking speaking.” You snapped.

“Okay guys, please…Before I start bleeding out of my ears, can we just get this meeting done?” Maria begged, with exhaustion lacing her voice, digging her fingers into her temples, massaging them slowly, “There’s one more thing I need to tell you.” You leaned on the table, letting out a humourless laugh.

“How much worse could it possibly get? Please. Enlighten us.” Bucky looked over at you out of the corner of his eye, then brought his gaze back to Maria’s, watching her shift nervously.

“You guys are going as a couple.” Silence. Dead, thick, suffocating silence. That’s all that hung in the room for the next couple of minutes. “It’s all in the file.” She added, looking down at her hands. The both of you immediately pulled your folders back to each other and flipped to the very last page, seeing the complete narrative that was devised for the both of you. Former HYDRA operatives. Defected together. Fell off the radar together. And now, resurfacing together.

“So that’s why you couldn’t send me with anyone else but him? You’re using our past as your little fucking token?” You questioned.

“I used it as an in. Orkolov doesn’t deal with outsiders. He doesn’t trust new faces. But a couple; one with a history, one with shared scars, one that understands the same darkness he does—that’s a story he’ll believe.” Bucky let out a sharp breath, the kind that sounded like he was seconds away from either punching a hole through the table or walking out of the room entirely. His jaw was tight, his fingers curling into a fist on his knee before he got up to start pacing.

“Your timelines together added up just right for this plan to even work, we couldn’t risk missing the opportunity.” She continued, as Bucky let out a laugh, shaking his head while he paced back and forth with his hands on his hips and his eyes locked onto the floor.

“Our timelines added up?” You repeated, incredulously, pushing the open file away from you once again, “You mean the years I spent trying to escape HYDRA? The fucking manhunt that followed me? The fact that he spent months trying to track me down and brought me to the edge of my fucking life?” You pointed at Bucky, who stopped pacing at the mention of the past, his body coiled tight, “That was just a nice little convenience for your little story huh?” Maria exhaled slowly.

”I know this is a lot-.”

“No,” Bucky cut her off, “A lot is being sent into a hostile situation. A lot is having our real names handed over to a man who probably wants us to reinstate our old HYDRA roles again.” He motioned between you and himself, his glare was all-encompassing, fury-filled, “But this? This is fucking insanity.” Maria nodded.

“I understand it is, and I’m sorry I didn’t run it by the both of you, but we are in a tight time crunch that you don’t seem to be seeing. A war is brewing, and we need intel to save lives, Bucky. You of all people should know what war does to someone.” The words came out of her without time to process what she was just about to say. You could see Bucky’s body go rigid, his breathing slowing down as if he were trying to calm himself. Maria had just thrown gasoline onto a blazing fire, and she knew it right away. You looked over at her, hoping, and waiting for her to backpedal, to apologize, but she held firm, staring at Bucky.

“You don’t get to use that against me.” Maria held his gaze.

“I won’t do it again…I just needed you to understand the direness of the situation.” He reached for the chair he had been sitting in, gripping the top of it, glancing over at you, trying to gauge what you were thinking, but at this point, you were unreadable, you were spaced out, looking at the table. You already realized there was no choice, and Maria wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

---—————-

“So let me get this straight. You and Bucky, the guy who literally almost gutted you like a fish, are going to fly to Vienna, so that you can attend a party and meet a guy who will probably end up either killing the both of you or recruiting you into his little ring of friends?” Natasha asked, her voice edging with something between amusement and disbelief. She lay sprawled out across your bed, watching you rummage through your closet, throwing shirts, jackets, and pants onto the ground as you attempted to find something that would make you blend into The Velvet Fang.

“That about sums it up.” You muttered, tossing another article of clothing to the side. Natasha let out a low whistle, flipping onto her stomach so she could rest her chin on her palm, a smirk plastered on her face. You looked over your shoulder, seeing her ice-blue eyes studying you.

“So…When’s the wedding?” She asked jokingly, trying to lighten the conversation. You rolled your eyes, stepping over the pile of clothes that surrounded you, and throwing yourself down on the bed with a loud thump.

“Please I am in no mood for your jokes.” You groaned, opening your eyes to stare up at the ceiling, your hands lying flat on your stomach. Natasha hummed.

“No jokes? Damn…This must really be killing you.” You shook your head.

“If it was anyone else I would be completely fine with it, but I can see he’s still unstable. You saw me when I defected from HYDRA, I was an absolute mess, it took me months to undo what they did, and I was only there for a year tops. Bucky had been their fucking plaything for decades, there’s no possible way he’s somehow reformed and completely fine.” You explained.

“So you’re scared he’s gonna snap and try and kill you again?” She asked softly, letting the question linger in the air, watching the way you shifted uncomfortably against the mattress.

“I’m not scared of him.” She arched her brow.

“Let’s not try to deflect the real question I just asked you Y/N.” You broke eye contact with her, not wanting to stare at her observant gaze. She knew you too well. She already had her answers. She just wanted to hear it from you.

“It’s not about him trying to kill me, Nat. We are coming face to face with someone who knows about our past with HYDRA. Who knows how long he has had to try and plan something against us. He knows we’re coming, we are on his list. What happens if Orkolov pushes the wrong buttons, and Bucky just loses it? Who do you think he’ll take out first? Hmm?” You asked, feeling the mattress shift, noticing Natasha getting up and walking over to the pile of clothes, shuffling through it to see if she could find something for you herself.

“If he wanted to, if he still had it in him…He would’ve done it when he saw you this morning. Even after you pushed his buttons he didn’t try to put in the kill shot. If it was Winter Soldier Bucky…You would’ve been a bloodstain on that conference room floor.” Natasha’s words hung in the air, heavy and undeniable. You swallowed hard, shifting on the bed, your fingers idly tracing the seam of your sleeve. You wanted to argue, to push back against her calm logic, but you couldn’t. Because deep down, you knew she was right. You sat up on your elbows, looking over at her pulling out a short black dress from the pile that you had overlooked, holding it up to herself for a brief moment before tossing it at you.

“This’ll work.” You eyed it skeptically.

“That thing barely has enough fabric to cover my ass…” She smirked.

“I’m pretty sure people at The Velvet Fang will appreciate it.” You ran your hand over the silky material, a defeated sigh escaping your throat.

“I can’t believe I’m putting myself out on display like this.” You muttered, lying down on the mattress again, a wave of nausea pouring up your stomach.

“You’re not. You’re just going to be a little bit of eye candy. Nobody is going to be hitting on you, especially if you’re with Bucky.” She pointed out. Her words were meant to be reassuring but they only made your stomach churn even more.

“Great…So now instead of kicking him out a window, I need to hide behind him to ignore any advances.” Natasha laughed, crossing her arms as she leaned against your dresser.

“I wish I could be there to see you play the doting little girlfriend, all wrapped up in her dangerous bad boy boyfriend. You’re gonna have to play nice.” You closed your eyes tightly.

“I’m going to throw myself out of the fucking plane while we’re in the air…That’s the only way I could get out of this.”

“C’mon. Now you’re just being dramatic. You should be taking this as an opportunity to let loose a little bit.” You groaned.

“If letting loose is code for committing manslaughter, I will happily let loose.” Natasha sighed.

“No manslaughter. Just try and have fun. You need to be convincing, if you’re looking miserable with someone who you’re supposed to love, Orkolov will immediately know. You’ll have to practice at least a bit so you two can loosen up and look natural.”

--—————————

Natasha’s words were running through your head the entire time you sat across from Bucky in the jet. The cabin was quiet, apart from the low hum of the engines and the occasional crackle of the intercom. You sat stiffly in your seat, looking at the glass of water on the table in front of you, watching the way it vibrated gently. You could hear him picking at the stitches of the leather seat, trying to distract himself, not wanting to say anything to you, but you could feel his presence, like an itch beneath your skin.

Without Maria, the both of you made an unspoken agreement to avoid having a conversation altogether. But now, halfway into the flight, the silence was starting to wear on you. You had avoided his eyes for the entire time, but when you leaned forward to reach for the glass you had been staring at you could hear the noise of his picking halt and his breath hitch. You looked up at him, seeing the way his jaw was clenched, and how he wasn’t staring at your face, but lower.

“What? What did I-” You looked down at yourself and paused, realizing that in the moment you had moved forward you loose zip up sweater did as well, exposing the top of his handy work. The top part was jagged, where he had twisted and applied pressure, almost like he wanted to break your chest open. You swallowed loudly, remembering the taste of blood that flooded your mouth in those moments before quickly straightening the fabric, bringing the zipper up all the way to your neck. The silence between the both of you stretched with fragility, you were expecting him to look away, but he couldn’t. He cleared his throat, and when he finally spoke he was quieter, his tone almost hollow.

”I didn’t…I didn’t realize it looked like that.” His words were uneven, shaky, and it made you pause. He wasn’t just shocked, he was horrified. You could see the way his fingers twitched, the way they dug into the fabric of his pants like he was trying to ground himself. It felt like someone had split his ribcage open and had begun to squeeze his lungs, wringing out all the air.

”Well…I don’t really go out showing it off to people.” You muttered, bringing your feet up to rest on the seat, so your knees were against your chest.

“I don’t remember…” He exhaled sharply, dragging his dark metal fingers through his hair, shaking his head, “I can’t remember doing it…” You hugged your knees closer to your chest, the weight of his words settling between you like a stone at the bottom of a lake. Bucky shook his head again as if he was trying to jog his memory so that he could rearrange the gaps.

”I remember tracking you.” You looked up at him, noticing the hint of frustration that glimmered in the dim lighting of the cabin. “I remember the order. I remember the fight, the way you used everything in your power to get me. You were…Trying to reach for your gun or a pager…Something, I don’t know.” You could feel your throat tighten, as you leaned forward to grab the glass of water, trying to wash down the lump that was forming, “Then I slammed you on the floor…But the moment it happened…It’s blank like someone ripped it out of my head. It’s a black hole.” You traced the rim of the glass. You didn’t know what was worse, the fact that he had done it or the fact that they wiped it from his memory.

“Lucky you I guess.” You whispered under your breath, taking another swig of water, feeling it cool your chest. His eyes narrowed.

”Can’t believe you would say something like that.” His voice was quiet.

“Why wouldn’t I?” You replied, settling the glass down on the table with a little more force than necessary, “You don’t carry it the way I have to.”

“I may not remember what I did to you, but do you really think I don’t wake up every fucking day knowing that there are pieces of me…Of the things that I’ve done…That I can’t even remember or be sorry for? I’d rather remember all of it than have these fucking gaps, where I have no idea who I was, what I did, or who I hurt.” His words sat on your chest. There was a part of you that wanted to lash out at him, to shove all the pain back at him with full force, to remind him that no matter how much he suffered you would never forgive him for what he did, that was just the honest truth. But then there was something under the surface, the haunting look in his eyes, the way he seemed like he wanted to crawl into himself and die…It tugged at the person you once were. That person would’ve seen the man in front of them for what he was now, not for what he had been then, but she was buried beneath the layers of anger, beneath everything HYDRA had done to you both. You ran a hand down your face.

”Look…Bucky.” He lifted his head slightly at you, brows knitting together, “I don’t know what you want me to say. That it’s fine? That I don’t think about it? I can’t lie to you about that.” He swallowed hard, leaning forward to rest his arms on the table, his hands clasping together.

”All I want is for you to know…That I’d take it back if I could, and that…I’m sorry.” The sincerity in his voice unsettled you. It was easier when he was cold, when he was just the Winter Soldier and not the man left in the aftermath. You wanted to hold onto your anger, to clutch it tight like it was your armour, but it was slipping through your fingers like sand. You exhaled slowly, staring down at your hands.

”I know…”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” He said, voice low, “I don’t even know if I’d want you to.” You looked at him, the both of you holding each other’s eyes.

”I don’t know if I can…But I know you mean it.” Bucky held your gaze for a moment longer, like he was searching for something in your face, something you weren’t sure you could give him. Then he nodded, a small, barely-there movement, and looked down at the table between you. You sighed, shifting in your seat.

”We still need to come up with a story that we are going to tell Orkolov if he asks us about our past.” Bucky rubbed the sweat off his palm.

”Yeah…Forgot about that.” He sat back in his seat, tilting his head against the headrest, eyes flicking toward the light above the both of you, “So, where do we start?” You shoved your hands into your sweater pocket.

”We can’t make it too perfect. If it’s too clean, he will know we rehearsed it, and that we’re lying.” He nodded, rolling his shoulders.

”Alright. So, we need just enough truth to give it that believability.” You nodded. He drummed his fingers against his knee.

”We start with HYDRA. Orkolov knows that we both left the place. I don’t know if he knows how much involvement you had in the place but we can keep it vague.”

”We can say I was assigned to intelligence. Data collection, infiltration? Something that didn’t leave much of a paper trail.” You hesitated, choosing your words carefully. “That’ll also explain why my name doesn’t come up as often as yours, and I won’t have to explain why I really left.” Bucky hummed in agreement, rubbing his jaw as he thought it over.

”That works. They trained you but it was separate from the rest of us. They won’t suspect anything.” You gulped, pushing away the memories before they had a chance to settle into you.

”So how did we end up meeting then?” You questioned.

”When you defected, they sent me after you.” He responded simply, “It’ll explain the scar, and the reason why you’re not dead.” You shifted in your seat.

”Right…Because you hesitated.” A lie, but it was believable. Bucky nodded once.

”Something about you made me stop. I didn’t understand why, and I let you go.” You inhaled deeply.

”And HYDRA dragged you back in and wiped you again, tried to erase whatever it was that made you hesitate to finish the job.” He looked at you.

”But it didn’t stick, and then I found you again.” You swallowed, slowly nodding, glancing down at your hands as you traced the storyline in your mind, fitting the pieces together intricately, patching up whatever holes would be in the story.

”How?” Bucky shrugged.

”I don’t know, maybe I just started remembering things I wasn’t supposed to. Then I knew I needed to find you.” You took a steady breath.

”So you found me…And we made a pact to stick together, then somewhere along the way we got close. We had no one else, relied on each other, and just…Fell into it.” This was all just a cover, a fabrication designed to protect you both. But as you studied Bucky’s face, the way his fingers twitched slightly on the table, the way his throat bobbed with an unspoken thought, you realized just how convincing it sounded, even to yourselves. He cleared his throat, letting out a small cough.

”Yeah, I think that story is easy to sell.” You ran through it together once again, ironing out the little details, and making sure there were no weaknesses. Once you were finished there was only an hour left before you landed in Vienna, and thankfully things had cooled down a bit.

”Alright. So we stick to that story, no hesitations, no second guessing.” He nodded, his fingers tapping against the table.

”And what about the physical stuff?” He asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. You looked at him, noticing the tension in his shoulders, the way his fingers drummed against the table like he was trying to find a rhythm to keep himself grounded. He didn’t like the idea any more than you did, but you both knew it was necessary.

”It has to look and be natural.” You responded, “If we’re stiff or uncomfortable Orkolov will immediately see it. We don’t have to overdo it, but we can’t act like we are business partners either.” You added, taking another sip of your water.

”So, what’s the expectation here? Hand on your back? Arm around your waist? Holding hands? K-Kissing?” He stuttered on the last word, covering it up with a forced cough, his eyes flicking away from you. You could feel the nausea building in your stomach again, as you gulped down the rest of the water, trying to buy yourself time to cool yourself down.

“Touching needs to look natural, with no flinching or discomfort. We can’t force it. We take the opportunities when it feels like the right time.” You paused momentarily, “And kissing will happen only if necessary.” You clarified.

“Right,” He muttered, “Only if necessary.” You shifted again, absentmindedly scratching at the scar on your chest.

”If we don’t think about it so much, we will be fine.” Bucky nodded, but the tension in his posture didn’t ease. He exhaled sharply through his nose, shifting in his seat before looking at you again.

“Maybe we should practice.” He suggested, his voice low. Your eyebrows raised at him, and he realized what he had said, “Not…not everything, obviously, it’s just to get used to it. If we go in cold, it’ll be obvious we don’t know how to act around each other.” You hated that he had a point, it would be obvious if the both of you were looking like you were being held at gunpoint by one another every time you touched, practice was a necessary evil unfortunately.

“Alright. What do you want to start with?” Bucky hesitated.

”Hand holding would be good I guess.” He exhaled, wiping his sweaty palm on his pants before bringing his right hand onto the table, facing it palm up. You shook your head.

”What?” He asked, looking at his hand, then back at you.

“I want the metal one.” He looked down at it.

“It’s vibranium.” He corrected quietly. You rolled your eyes.

”Okay. I want the vibranium one. Better?” He sighed, lifting his left hand up and placing it on the table between you. The dark material shined beneath the light, the small slivers of gold contrasting against the harsh black that lined the entire appendage. You reached out, wrapping your fingers around his. You expected the cool metal against your skin but got something different.

”Do you have a heater in this thing or something? Why is it so warm?” You asked, earning a small laugh from him, your thumb running over the palm of his hand, watching the slivers of gold pulsing when he moved his fingers slightly.

”I had it under my thigh when we were going over our little cover-up story.” He admitted. You raised a brow at him, your lips twitching upward.

”So what? You were preheating it for me?” He shook his head.

”Didn’t expect you to ask for the vibranium hand, so I guess it was just luck.” You hummed at his comment, trailing your fingers up his forearm, feeling the smooth, almost seamless transition between the plates. It was strange how human it felt, despite what it was.

“Can I ask what happened to the other one?” You could feel his fingertips twitch against your skin at the question, and for a moment he didn’t say anything, then he looked up at you.

“Stark blew it off…Back at a HYDRA facility in Siberia.” He responded, his voice flat, unaffected. You were surprised by this anecdote, and you were even more caught off guard that Steve never told you this, not that you ever asked about Bucky, he knew that subject was off limits.

“I didn’t know that.” He nodded.

“Yeah…I did attack him technically so it wasn’t unprovoked.” He admitted, breaking eye contact, “I’m pretty sure it also happened when you were in the hospital so that’s why you weren’t privy to what was going on.” You hadn’t considered that before, how much had happened in the world while you were recovering, piecing yourself back together in a sterile hospital room, drowning in silence while everything kept moving without you. He watched your fingers tracing the small patterns on his arm until you reached his hand again, hesitating for a moment before you laced your fingers between his. Neither of you spoke, you just sat, watching the way your hands fit together, squeezing slightly when adjusting your grips. His fingers closed around yours with a surprising amount of gentleness.

“This is…A little weird.” Bucky admitted.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Neither of you let go, though.

“You don’t have to keep holding it if it makes you uncomfortable.” He muttered, his eyes flickering up to yours.

“It’s not uncomfortable.” You responded, shaking your head. He went to say something, but before he could the pilot got on the intercom.

“We’re approaching Vienna,” The pilot announced, causing the both of you to look up, “Please fasten your seatbelts.” You looked back at him, and with slight reluctance, let his hand go. As the jet began its descent, the hum of the engines shifted, and the subtle change in angle caused your stomach to drop. You adjusted your seatbelt tightly against your stomach, glancing over at Bucky, who was relaxing in his spot, looking totally unbothered.

“Are you always this relaxed when the plane is landing?” You asked, a wave of nausea bubbling in your stomach as you adjusted your grip on the armrest.

“Yeah pretty much. Been on enough planes to know when to start panicking.” A groan escaped your throat, trying to ease the sickness.

“That’s really not helping right now.” Bucky smirked, adjusting himself in his seat.

“What? You want me to lie to you? Tell you we’re perfectly safe?” He mocked, as you groaned again at the turbulence.

“Yes,” You gritted your teeth, “A lie would be great.”

“Alright, alright.” He said, leaning forward slightly, “This is the smoothest landing I’ve ever been on. There’s nothing to worry about. The pilot is probably doing this with his eyes closed.” He whispered, holding back his laughter. You squinted at him.

“That didn’t help either.” You said, squeezing the armrest again. He sighed, reaching his vibranium hand out, and tapping his fingers against the table to get your attention.

“Instead of taking your anger out on the leather…And for practice, since I can tell you’re uncomfortable and a boyfriend would offer some form of comfort.” You let out a small laugh, “And considering you looked less miserable when you were holding it earlier…Thought it would be worth a shot.” Once again the jet moved and your stomach lurched.

“Okay okay!” You exclaimed, grabbing onto his hand, feeling his fingers wrap around yours instantly.

“Are you going to be sick?” You shook your head, closing your eyes tightly. Bucky’s grip was firm but not constricting, the warmth from his vibranium fingers grounding you as you exhaled through your nose.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, quieter this time. His thumb brushed over the back of your hand, the small motion doing more to settle you than anything else had so far.

"Yeah, just-" You inhaled sharply as the wheels made contact with the runway, the force of the landing pressing you back against your seat. You squeezed his hand a little harder than you probably needed to, but he didn’t say anything, he just let you hold on as long as you needed to.

When the plane finally came to a halt, the pressure in your stomach eased. You opened your eyes, releasing a slow breath before blinking up at him, seeing his eyebrows were raised.

“You good now?” He asked, his thumb still absentmindedly brushing against your knuckles.

”Mhm…” You exhaled, loosening your grip from his, though you hesitated before fully letting go, “I think I can walk out of this thing without embarrassing myself too much.” He retracted his hand, unbuckling his seatbelt.

”Would’ve been great if you puked all over the runway though.” You shot him a glare.

”Real supportive there Bucky.” You replied, unbuckling your seatbelt as well, standing up from your spot.

”Hey, I held your hand.” He shrugged, a small laugh escaping his mouth.

”I’m going to put that on your fake boyfriend record…Decent under pressure, but D minus for aftercare.” He smirked.

”Duly noted, I’ll be sure to add something to your fake girlfriend record too.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing your duffle bag from under your seat, throwing it over your shoulder.

“Hey hey. No. Hand me the bag.” He protested, causing your gaze to snap to his.

”What?” You questioned, your eyebrows knitting together.

”We have no idea if they’re already watching, I might as well be seen as a gentleman, not a douchebag that lets his partner carry her alarmingly large bag on her own.” You sighed, rolling your eyes but handing over the duffle bag anyways.

”If you start complaining about how heavy it is, I’m taking it back.” Bucky scoffed, effortlessly slinging the bag over his shoulder alongside his own.

“I’ve carried bodies heavier than this.” He responded.

”Wow. How romantic.” You shot back sarcastically, while walking towards the exit of the jet.

”It’s just part of the charm, sweetheart.” You could feel your cheeks heat up slightly at the nickname, as the cold Vienna air washed over your face. The tarmac was quiet, save for the faint buzzing of the airport staff moving around in the distance. Once you had walked down the steps you waited for Bucky before proceeding to the sleek black car that idled at the curb, it’s glossy surface reflecting the warm glow of the nearby streetlights. A man leaned casually against the trunk, arms crossed over his chest. His attire is meticulous; a well-fitted suit, dark leather gloves, and a wide-brimmed hat casting a subtle shadow over his sharp features. He looked extremely professional, though his posture had an air of indifference, like he’d been standing there too long and was ready to be anywhere else. When he had seen the both of you approaching he immediately straightened out, a small smile coming up on his face.

”Mr. Barnes.” He greeted, giving him a nod, “Welcome to Vienna.”

”Thank you.” The driver’s gaze then flickered toward you, as he gave you a nod as well.

”It’s a pleasure to have you as well Mrs…?” Bucky didn’t hesitate.

”Hopefully Mrs. Barnes one day,” He said smoothly, his arm slipping around your waist, fingers resting very lightly at your hip. You were caught off guard by how effortlessly he delivered the line, but you held a casual smile. The driver’s eyebrows lifted slightly, smirking, clearly entertained by Bucky’s response.

”A man with a plan. I respect that.” You forced a laugh, leaning into the act as much as possible.

“Always so charming.” You commented, resting your hand on his rigid abdomen. The driver smiled.

”Well, let’s get you two lovebirds to the hotel then!” He exclaimed, clasping his hands together as he walked towards the drivers side of the car. Bucky’s grip on your waist tightened just enough to remind you of the role you were playing, as he let go, moving to the trunk to put your duffle bags into it. You slid into the backseat, with Bucky following close behind. The leather interior was soft against your back as the both of you settled in, relaxing on your respective sides.

The car eased away from the airport, quickly merging onto the quiet streets of Vienna. The city was bathed in the golden glow of streetlights, the architecture looked regal and timeless against the dark sky, if you weren’t here for a mission you would’ve loved to explore more. The hum of the engine filling the space between you and Bucky. The driver adjusted his rearview mirror so he could look at the both of you.

”So, are you guys celebrating something special?” He asked, his voice casual as he maneuvered the car through the empty city streets.

“Our one year anniversary actually.” Bucky answered without hesitation. The driver let out a whistle.

”Wow, one year huh? That’s always a big one. First anniversaries are always special.” The driver’s enthusiasm was palpable, his grin wide and toothy. “First year of a relationship can always be the hardest they say, what’s the secret to making it?” He asked, glancing back at the road.

”Patience, and knowing when to pick your battles.” Bucky responded. You let out a short laugh at his response.

”That’s very funny coming from you.” Bucky smirked, glancing at you.

”What? You disagree?” You tilted your head, pretending to mull it over.

”Let’s say you have a very selective definition of ‘picking your battles.’” The driver chuckled at the interaction.

”It sounds like the both of you keep each other on your toes.”

“You could say that,” You replied, a playful tone lacing your voice, as you shot Bucky a knowing look.

“That’s how you know it’s real though. You guys can argue, but at the end of the day, you still choose each other.” He paused, then added, “You two planning anything special while you’re here?” Bucky hummed, glancing over at you before responding.

”Haven’t locked anything down yet, but we had some ideas. Sightseeing, going to some top rated restaurants, maybe a little dancing.” The driver nodded.

“Well, if you’re looking for ideas, you picked a great city to celebrate in.” He gestured out the windshield as he made a turn. “Vienna’s got something for everyone. You into history? The Schönbrunn Palace is breathtaking. Art? You can’t miss the Belvedere Museum. Or maybe you want something more intimate, the sunset at the Danube Tower is unforgettable.” Bucky drummed his fingers lightly against his thigh.

”Oh you’ve definitely given us some great suggestions, it’s going to be hard to narrow it down.” You nodded, agreeing with him, the mission still looming in the back of your mind.

”You know…You two remind me of my wife and I when we first started going out.” Bucky raised a brow, glancing over at you.

”Yeah?”

”Definitely,” He responded, his hands steady on the wheel, “Always teasing, making little quips at each other, but at the end of the day there was never any doubt that we were solid.” He turned down another street, “That’s how you know it’s real. When you can drive each other absolutely crazy and you still wouldn’t trade them for the world.” Bucky let out a small chuckle, shaking his head, glancing over at you.

”Well, we’ve definitely got the ‘driving each other crazy’ part down…Don’t we doll?” You wanted to nudge him in the ribs, but you held yourself back.

”Oh yeah. Definitely.” The driver let out a hearty laugh, as the car slowed, approaching a grand hotel. Its entrance was illuminated by the soft glow of golden lanterns, the stairs leading up to the towering glass doors were lined with polished stones, where a doorman in a crisp uniform stood at attention, watching him coming down the steps as soon as the vehicle came to a stop.

”Well, lovebirds, here we are.” The driver announced with a grin as he shifted the car into park, “Welcome to the Imperial!” Bucky exhaled through his nose, glancing over at you, a look of relief washing over his face. He must’ve been itching to get out of the car right when the driver started asking questions. Bucky took his wallet out quickly, handing the man a tip.

“Thank you for the ride.” He said, wasting no time opening the door and stepping out, holding his hand out for you to grab, still trying to keep up appearances.

“Enjoy your stay! And remember, don’t sweat the small stuff.” Bucky leaned down to look at the man.

”We’ll keep it in mind. Thank you again.” He responded politely, closing the door behind him, as the doorman opened the trunk of the car.

“Welcome to the Imperial! I’ll bring your bags in for you, no need to wait for me, you can go and get yourselves checked in.” Bucky gave the doorman a quick nod. You could tell he was eager to get inside and escape the unnecessary small talk, just like you at this point. His hand pressed lightly against your lower back, as he gestured for you to head towards the entrance first.

The moment you stepped inside, the warmth of the hotel lobby enveloped you, a stark contrast to the bitter night air that was brewing outside. The Imperial exuded luxury in every detail; polished marble floors reflected the golden glow of crystal chandeliers overhead, and the faint scent of fresh lilies mingled with the rich aroma of tobacco, like someone had lit a cigar and left it out to marinate. Ornate columns framed the space, leading toward an opulent sitting area where a handful of late-night guests lingered over drinks, their laughter a quiet murmur beneath the soft classical music playing from hidden speakers. You both walked by, garnering their attention for a brief moment before they returned back to their conversations.

Behind the counter, a woman in her mid-thirties with sharp cheekbones, deep red lipstick, and perfectly slicked back brown hair stood, looking at her computer screen with an emotionless expression, nothing behind the eyes.. When she heard you approaching her gaze flicked up, lingering on Bucky for just a little longer than necessary before looking at you. You could see her straighten her back, almost to puff her chest out, and her expression shifted into something more warm and inviting.

”Good evening! Welcome to the Imperial,” She greeted smoothly, her voice like silk against the air, “Do you have a reservation with us this evening?” Bucky gave her a small nod, taking out his wallet.

”Uh…It should be under Barnes. James Barnes.” You glanced over at him, watching him pull out a credit card that had his name scrawled on the back of it, handing it over to her so she could compare the information. She glanced at the card then her screen, scrolling through the list of guests.

”Ah,” She murmured, tapping the enter key, “Here you are. A deluxe suite. What an excellent choice.” Her smile widened ever so slightly, as she handed Bucky’s card back, letting her fingers graze his. Her eyes flicked up to meet his, wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue, it was barely noticeable. He took his card back, clearing his throat slightly.

”The deluxe suite is one of our finest…It’s spacious, private…Perfect for an…” She let the words linger, tilting her head a bit, “Intimate getaway.” You were growing increasingly uncomfortable with the interaction, and you could tell by the way Bucky was fidgeting he was probably in the same boat. He gave her a polite nod, slipping his card back into his wallet.

”It sounds like we got lucky.” The receptionist's smile didn’t waver, if anything it grew even wider.

“Oh, I’d say you’re very lucky, Mr. Barnes.” Her voice dipped just enough into suggestiveness that it caused Bucky’s grip on his wallet to tighten, as her eyes roamed over him. She picked up a black folder, sliding it towards him with ease.

”All the details of your stay will be in here, your key card, the room service menu, spa packages…” She trailed off, her manicured nails tapping against the folders edge, “And of course, if you need anything extra, I’d be happy to personally ensure your stay is perfect.” Bucky nodded stiffly, shifting his weight into you a bit, desperate to wrap this interaction up.

”I appreciate it.” He responded, stepping back a bit, as you took the folder from the desk. Before the receptionist could say anything else, the doorman came in, carrying both of your bags with practiced ease.

”Here we are!” He announced, “Would you like me to bring them up to your suite for you?” Bucky shook his head, jumping at the chance to break free from the lingering tension.

”No need. I got it.” He held his hand out, grabbing both bags from the man, throwing them over his shoulder, his biceps flexing against his fitted long sleeve shirt. Out of the corner of your eye you could see the receptionist’s gaze flicking downward, taking in the ease of his actions, obviously enjoying the view. You let out a small exasperated sigh, as you leaned into Bucky a little more, dragging your hand up his torso, feeling his muscles flinch slightly.

”Baby, can we please go up to the room now? I’ve been dying for a bit of privacy since we got off the plane.” He looked over at you, his eyes widened a bit, taken off guard by your sudden change in tone, now slipping in to save him from being flirted with.

”Of course…Yeah. Where are the elevators?” The both of you turned your attention back to the receptionist, seeing that her expression of lust had faltered just a bit, her smiling tightening at the edges.

”They’re going to be down the hallway to your left. Enjoy your stay.” Bucky didn’t waste a second, moving away from the desk, slipping his hand to your lower back guiding you to the elevators.

As soon as the doors slid closed, the both of you quickly unravelled yourselves from each other, standing on different sides of the elevator.

”Jesus Christ.” Bucky muttered, staring up at the mirrored ceiling, “That was awful.” You smirked.

”She was just being nice.” Bucky’s head snapped down.

”Nice? She was acting like she was going to rip my clothes off in the middle of the lobby. I was about five seconds away from running for my life.” You laughed.

”Who knew the Winter Soldier would be afraid of a little flirting.” Bucky scoffed.

”I’ve seen flirting before. That was not flirting.” He insisted, “And you could’ve stepped in a little sooner y’know.” You let out a soft laugh.

”Well, maybe I wanted to watch you simmer a little bit. You’re the one that went off kilter with the anniversary thing with the driver, it was just pay back.” Bucky narrowed his eyes at you, shifting his stance a bit, feeling the elevator stop on your floor.

”Yeah…I guess you’re right.” A ding echoed through the small space, signalling your arrival, “Let’s just get inside the room before she comes chasing after us asking if I want a private spa service or something.” He wasted no time stepping out of the elevator, adjusting his grip on the bags, with you following him closely down the lavishly decorated hallway. The plush navy carpet absorbed your footsteps, it felt like you were walking on memory foam. You took the keycard out of the folder the receptionist gave, as you reached your suite, sliding it through with euro hesitation, hearing the door click open, pushing it open wide before slipping into the suite.

You step in first, taking in the expansive suite with its elegant decor. The soft yellow lighting illuminates the room, casting a warm glow all over the navy accents that were strewn about the room. There were floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a stunning view of the city, and from way up there you could see things were still buzzing. It was undeniably luxurious, and for a moment, you almost forgot why you were there in the first place. Your eyes continued to skim over the accommodations, as Bucky stepped in behind you, dropping the bags in front of the closet, a sigh escaping his lips.

“Damn…Pretty fancy.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck as he began to wander. You stepped towards the windows, wanting to get a better look at the view, crossing your arms over your stomach to hold yourself. Bucky moved toward the small kitchenette, his fingers drumming along the marble countertop.

“Mmm…At least we got a free bottle of champagne.” He announced, as you looked over your shoulder, seeing him turn the bottle towards you, a smirk on his lips, placing it back down on the counter, so that he could continue to explore the suite further, disappearing behind a partially opened door. You heard him hum in mild amusement before poking his head out.

”You’d be happy to know that the bed is massive. You’re gonna love it.” You stepped away from the window, making your way toward the bedroom. The room matched the accents of the main living area, the deep navy, the gold accents, the thick carpeting, with a bed so big that it could at least fit three people comfortably.

“It’s nice.” Bucky smirked, watching as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other.

”There’s just one issue.” Bucky raised a brow.

”What?” You motioned to the wall opposite of the bed.

”There’s no TV in here…” He glanced at the wall.

”Guess they think people coming in here don’t need distractions.” You let out a quiet sigh.

”I can’t sleep without background noise.” You murmured, seeing Bucky’s face fall a bit, now realizing you were being serious. You slipped out of the bedroom, hearing Bucky’s footsteps following close behind.

”Is that a you thing or…Is that a HYDRA thing?” He asked, watching as you went over to the counter that had the bottle of champagne on it, ripping off the black foil.

”I think you can take a guess,” You responded, twisting the metal that was holding the cork on the bottle. His jaw ticked, not needing to push you any further for details, as he moved towards you, leaning against the counter, his fingers idly tapping against his bicep.

”I get it.” You threw the curled metal onto the counter, putting your hand over the cork, turning it slowly.

”Sure.” The tone was a bit dismissive, and you didn’t mean for it to sound that way, all you wanted to do was avoid the conversation about HYDRA.

”I sleep on the floor, with the lights on, and even when those conditions are met I still can’t get a normal night's rest. So I do get it Y/N.” Your movements faltered for a moment, your grip on the cork tightening. The tension in Bucky’s voice wasn’t accusatory, but it wasn’t light either. You swallowed thickly, letting the words settle between the both of you until the cork popped with a soft thud. You reached for the two tubular glasses and poured the champagne into them slowly, being mindful of the bubbles that frothed at the surface. Bucky stayed where he was, as you handed him a full glass.

”If you need the background noise you can sleep out here, if you want.” You glanced up at him.

“What?” He motioned towards the couch in the living room area.

”You can take the couch since I won’t be using it, and I don’t mind background noise…I probably won’t be sleeping tonight anyways.” You hesitated for a moment, taking a small sip from the champagne glass, letting the sweet, and bitter flavour mingle on your tongue.

“Couch it is…I guess.” You responded. Bucky gave a tiny, satisfied nod before raising his glass slightly, not as a toast, just as a simple acknowledgment of the situation, with you mirroring the same gesture, the both of you downing the whole glass in one go. The fizzy liquid burned slightly on the way down, but it was far from it being unpleasant. If anything, it helped take the edge off, even if it was just a little. Your tongue swiped across your lips, chasing the lingering taste.

“Well, that’s definitely a way to settle in.” You huffed a quiet laugh.

”Could be worse, we could be stuck in some rundown motel with paper-thin walls.” Bucky smirked, setting his empty champagne glass down on the counter with a quiet clink.

”I actually think if we were in a rundown motel less eyes would be on us.” You placed your glass down as well.

”Yeah, but then we’d have to deal with the possibility of bedbugs, a busted heater, and a crappy television set.”

”Sounds like a real test of endurance.” He quipped, as he grabbed the countertop with his hands.

”Mmm, real elite training there Bucky. Maybe throw in some mystery stains on the carpet for a little bit of spice.” He snorted, shaking his head as he reached for one of the mini bottles of whisky that came with the mini bar.

”Speaking of challenges, we should probably get something to eat before we start drinking more.” You raised your eyebrows at him.

”Did we get different super serums or something? Because I could’ve sworn I don’t get drunk and I’ve really tried to override that.” He smirked, twisting off the small cap from the bottle, taking a sip.

”No, we definitely have similar versions if you don’t get drunk, but then again I haven’t really ran into anyone else like us to ask this question.” You hummed, handing him the room service menu.

”Well, if we ever do, I think that’ll be the first question I ask. Forget the whole ‘where are you from, what’s your story’, I’m leading with ‘can you go through multiple large bottles of alcohol and not absolutely destroy your liver?’” Bucky laughed.

”Yeah, it’s definitely an important question to ask, skip all the pleasantries, get straight to the essentials.” You smirked, watching as he flipped open the menu, his eyes skimming along the items.

”Alright, what are we thinking? Fries? Sliders? Mystery meat from the hotel’s five-star kitchen?” You shrugged, leaning against the counter.

”Honestly, just order anything. As long as it’s not snails or something that still has a face.” He nodded, reaching for the phone.

”Don’t worry, I have the same sentiment. No fine dining nightmares.” You listened as he placed the order, keeping it simple with fries, sliders, and a charcuterie board because he wanted something to pick at. He also made sure to add the large bottle of whisky onto the order just before hanging up.

”They said it’ll be here in about thirty minutes.” He said, stretching his arms above his head to crack his back and neck.

”Alright, I’m gonna hit the shower first then since it’s gonna be a bit of a wait.” Bucky nodded.

”Go for it, I’ll make sure they don’t slip something into our food.” You made your way over to your bag, grabbing the pajamas you brought before heading toward the bathroom.

”Ever the soldier, Barnes.”

”Hey, it comes with the territory.” He shot back, as you closed the door behind you. The space was sleek and modern, all marble and gold accents, the kind of luxury that made you hesitate for a second. It felt too pristine, too untouched. You shook off the thought and turned the shower on, letting the water heat up as steam filled the room. You peeled your clothes off, leaving them in a small pile on the floor, before stepping under the boiling water, sighing as the heat ran over your skin. You could feel the tension in your muscles melt away, and for the first time in the last few hours, you felt yourself truly relax beneath the stream.

You ran your hands over your arms, watching the droplets of water slide over your skin, reaching over to pump a bit of body wash into your hand. The lush scent of lavender tickled your nose, as you ran the soap along the planes of your body, taking time with yourself to just absorb the calm environment. It wasn’t often that you got to enjoy something as simple as a hot shower without rushing, nor without your mind racing. You lingered longer than usual, running your hands over your body, tracing the rivulets of water as they slid down your skin. It felt indulgent in a way—like taking your time was a luxury.

After a while, the heat began to weigh on you, and you reached to turn off the water, stepping out onto the plush bath mat. The mirror was fogged over, your reflection blurring at the edges as you wiped a hand across the glass

You grabbed a towel, running it over your arms and legs before wrapping it around yourself. The air was noticeably cooler now that you were out of the shower, a stark contrast to the warmth you’d just been under. You stood for a moment, looking at your reflection before grabbing your pajamas, and pulling them on, starting with your baggy tan t-shirt, then ending with your shorts that you could barely see due to the length of the top. You stopped to look at your reflection for a moment, turning to the side to look at the three deep scar tissue marks on your outer thigh, your fingertips running along them, letting out a frustrated sigh, before fixing the shirt over it. You hung the damp towel on the back of the door, stepping back out into the main area of the suite, pushing your hair out of your face. Bucky was sitting at the little coffee table, pouring himself another glass of whiskey, looking up when the floor creaked.

His blue eyes scanned over you quietly. You could see the way they roamed up your bare legs, the way he stared at the oversized shirt that silhouetted over your figure. Just for a second you caught a subtle shift in his expression, but he didn’t say anything, he glanced back down at his glass, running his thumb over the rim of the glass. You weren’t sure if his reaction made you feel awkward, but you tried not to notice it, as you made your way to the seat across from him, seeing the food had already arrived and he had waited for you. The charcuterie board was neatly arranged, the sliders looked perfectly cooked, and the fries were still warm, the smell of salt and crisped potatoes filling the air.

“I’m impressed you didn’t rip this entire plate apart.” You said, reaching for a fry, before plopping yourself down on the seat in front of him. Bucky brought his glass of whiskey to his lips.

”Figured it’d be rude if I didn’t wait.” He explained, taking a sip. You hummed in approval, popping the fry into your mouth.

“How thoughtful.” Bucky’s eyes rested on yours for a moment, as he settled his glass down.

”You want some?” He asked, gesturing to the bottle of whiskey. You nodded, grabbing the empty glass in front of you, holding it out for him to pour into. The amber liquid sloshed around slightly, just before he set the bottle back down on the table. You brought the drink up to your lips, taking a small sip, feeling the heat spreading in your mouth, then down your throat. Bucky cleared his throat, gaining your attention.

”I just…I just want to ask.” He hesitated, looking through the glass coffee table at the three scars on your outer thigh. You traced his eyesight, and looked down, “Did I…?” You blinked, caught off guard for a second. He looked like he was bracing himself, waiting to hear another thing he had done that he completely forgot about. You immediately shook your head.

”No,” You replied. “It wasn’t you.” His shoulders relaxed, but the tension didn’t fully leave his face.

”Alright,” He muttered, his eyes still lingering on them, because now he was thinking about who might’ve done it to you.

”Bucky,” You said gently, drawing his attention back up to you, “You don’t have to hold your breath every time you notice something. Trust me, you would’ve known if you caused this.” Bucky nodded slowly, his fingers toying with the rim of his glass again.

“Just wanted to check.” You exhaled softly.

”I get it.” And you really did. His mind was just jumping to the worst-case scenario, as if it was easier for him to believe he was the cause of all the violence you had experienced in your life, rather than realize, for once, he wasn’t to blame.

The two of you continued to pick at the food, trading quiet conversation between bites, until exhaustion started to creep in. You glanced over at the clock, seeing that it was almost 3 o’clock in the morning, groaning as you pushed yourself up from your seat.

“I’m gonna grab the duvet off the bed,” You said, heading towards the bedroom. Bucky watched you disappear before he stood as well, stretching his arms above his head. By the time you returned with the thick duvet and matching pillow bundled in your arms, he had already grabbed a folded blanket from the closet, and was tossing it down onto the floor near the couch. You shifted past him, letting the duvet unravel in your hands, dropping it over the couch, adjusting it as you threw the pillow down on top of it, before sliding beneath the covering, pulling it up to your neck, letting out a sigh at the warmth.

Bucky turned on the television, and left on one of the side table lamps that was closest to him, as he got himself comfortable on the floor beside the couch, shaking his blanket out and carefully lowering himself down with ease, making it clear that it wasn’t his first rodeo. He let out a small groan, turning onto his side so he was facing the muddied infomercials that were on the screen, shifting so he could get comfortable.

For a while, the only sound in the room was the low hum of the television. The infomercials blurred into background noise, a comforting, monotonous buzz against the silence that had settled between the two of you. You lay on the couch, your head sinking into the pillow, but your mind wasn’t quite ready to shut off yet. You glanced over the side of the couch, looking at Bucky who was now laying on his back, one arm tucked beneath his head, while his vibranium fingers flexed against the fabric of his shirt.

“Bucky.” You whispered, he hummed, opening his eyes to look up at you.

”Yeah?” He asks, a hint of concern lacing his voice.

“What are you thinking about?” You hear him swallow at the question, watching him shift a bit.

”The usual things I think about. Sometimes I get these headaches, and I get these…Memories of things. I don’t know if it’s from all the mind wiping they did to me, but it’s like it fills in the gaps.” You could see the tension in his jaw, and the way he was running his vibranium hand along his shirt, like he was trying to soothe himself.

”What kind of memories?” You asked softly.

”Not the good ones…It’s always people I don’t recognize, but it’s usually safe to assume I’ve hurt them in some way.” He whispered, “It’s not clear enough to tell. It’s fragments. A voice, a place, a feeling. I don’t even know if they’re real or not, because I don’t remember things completely, you know what I mean?” You nodded slowly, your fingers curling into the edge of the duvet.

”I get it.” You replied, his eyes flickered toward you.

”Yeah?” You exhaled slowly, shifting on the couch so you were in his line of sight.

”Well, I didn’t go through what you did, but after I escaped and defected, I went through a period where I was constantly having nightmares. I was an absolute wreck. I still have moments where I remember things and it scares the shit out of me, because it feels like I’m back there.” Bucky let out a small laugh, but it wasn’t one of amusement.

”Seems like we have something in common, some nights I wake up and it’s like I’m back there being pinned against the new soldiers all over again, getting the crap beat out of me because HYDRA wanted to see if they were as strong as their first prototype.” You could feel a shiver creep up your bones as you moved back a bit.

”I escaped before they could pin me against you.” He let out a slow breath.

”I know…If I can remember anything about you from back then, it’s that HYDRA had a vendetta against you. That’s why when you escaped they sent me after you.” You nodded.

”Because I broke their precious programming.”

”Mmm, and it pissed them off.” He smirked, “They don’t like loose ends.” You laughed a bit.

”No, they don’t. I’m shocked they never found out that I lived through your attack.” You said, digging your nails into your palm.

“When I found out from Steve that you were still alive I thought he was joking, I had never failed a mission. I kept saying that to him too, and he kept telling me you were in the hospital. Still kicking. Recovering from what I did. He never went into detail about what I had done, probably to not add to the psychological torment.” You smirked.

”Yeah when he told me that he told you I was still alive I almost punched a hole through him.” Bucky let out a small laugh.

”Sounds about right…” He paused, still running his fingers over his top, “Can I be honest about something though?”

“Of course.” He sighed, sitting up so he was face to face with you.

”When he told me you were alive I was really relieved.” You studied him for a moment, seeing him push his hair out of his face, “And when he would come see me…I would ask how you were.” You leaned up on your arm, surprised by this admission, taken completely off guard by what he was saying, “He would tell me all the little updates, but he also told me to not show my face or else you would probably kill me.” You raised your eyebrows at him, remembering the times where Steve would casually ask the nurses if there was anything new going on with me, realizing that it wasn’t for him, it was for Bucky.

”Well he wasn’t wrong there…Even in the briefing room yesterday I was contemplating killing you.” You commented.

”Yeah, I could see it in your eyes when you saw me. I knew you weren’t going to be happy to see me, but my goodness I didn’t think you were going to go in so hard on me.” You scratched the back of your neck.

”Can’t really blame me there…I’m sorry for those things I said though, I got really nasty, and I hit below the belt, and Maria was right...I pushed your buttons.” He shook his head.

”It’s okay, I deserved it, and for what it’s worth…I’m also sorry for getting in your face during that whole thing. Should’ve just let you take your anger out on me, just like everyone used to.” For a long moment the two of you just stayed still, facing each other. The room felt like it had shrunk around you, but it wasn’t suffocating at all. Bucky’s eyes flickered over your face, trying to figure out what you were thinking, but he couldn’t find anything. The weight of everything that had just been spoken about beared down on the both of you, but it had softened some of the resentment you were still holding onto. He watched as you sat up, pushing the duvet off you, and before he could ask what you were doing, you wrapped your arms around him, bringing him in for a hug.

Immediately he stiffened, caught off guard by the unexpected gesture. You felt so warm against him, that it took a moment to register what was happening, but when he finally pulled himself out of his racing thoughts, he released a quiet shudder, and wrapped his arms around you as well. You weren’t sure why you had done it. Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe it was the weight of everything between you two, pressing in from all sides. But as you held him, you could feel the tension in his body, the way his breathing had become uneven, shallow.

And then, you felt it.

A single shuddered breath against your shoulder. The quietest sniff—so small, so restrained, as if he was fighting against it with everything he had, and then a few warm droplets hitting the fabric of your shirt. Tears. You could feel his arms tighten around you ever so slightly, digging his face into your shoulder like he was shielding himself, or so you couldn’t move back to see him. You breathed in, catching the sweet minty scent of his clothes for a brief moment, as you ran a hand down his back to soothe him. He trembled against you, another sob escaping his throat, muffled by your shoulder.

“I-“ He tried to speak, but his voice was cut off by him breathing in.

”Shh…You don’t have to say anything Bucky…It’s okay.” You whispered, and for the rest of the time you sat there holding him, he didn’t say anything. He just held onto you as tightly as possible.

————

“Bucky. I need you to come in here and zip me up. I’m not flexible.” You yelled, looking at yourself in the mirror, adjusting the tight silk fabric of the dress, pulling it down as far as it could go. You could hear the sound of Bucky’s heavy steps approaching the washroom, before he pushed open the door, buttoning up the sleeves of his black dress shirt that fit snugly against his broad frame. You were surprised at how well he cleaned up, and how good he looked in just a black dress shirt and a pair of dark grey dress pants. It was so simple, yet so…Sophisticated. He glanced up from what he was doing, his eyebrows raising a little bit, a smirk appearing on his lips. You squinted at him.

”What’s that face all about? Hmm? Do you want to wear the dress?” Bucky laughed, shaking his head, stepping closer to you.

“I don’t think I’d fit into it, but I’d love to see you try to get me into one…Now turn around.” You rolled your eyes at his comment, but did as he said, turning your back to him and adjusting your hair so it wouldn’t possibly get in his way. He stepped towards you, his fingers finding the zipper, picking up where you left off. You could feel the fabric getting tighter against your body as he brought the zipper higher up your back, his vibranium hand absentmindedly settling on your waist to hold you still. He sighed, letting you go once he had fully zipped the dress up, catching the way his eyes roamed over your reflection, his teeth briefly biting his bottom lip.

”All set.” He announced, watching as you adjusted the fabric again, seeing his eyes flicking to the scar in the middle of your chest that was poking out from just above the neckline of the dress, his eyes softening.

“Something on your mind, Barnes?” You asked, gaining his attention, drawing him out of his trance.

”No…Just looking.” You raised an eyebrow at him, reaching for the thin gold chain you had placed on the countertop.

”And what exactly are you looking at?” Your tone was playful, trying to settle into the mood you would have to be in the whole night. Bucky crossed his arms over his chest, watching as you fastened the delicate chain around your neck, letting it settle gently on your skin.

”What do you think I’m looking at?” He responded, now leaning himself against the countertop, looking at the way you continued to adjust yourself.

“If I’m not mistaken…It seems like you’re enjoying the view.”You said, reaching for your earrings, tilting your head to glance over at him.

“You’re definitely not mistaken.” His voice was smooth, with an undeniable teasing tone lacing his words. You let out a small huff, fighting the heat that began to creep up onto your cheeks, as you clasped one of your earrings into place.

”You know Bucky, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you are flirting with me.” He smirked, turning fully towards you, as his vibranium fingers tapped along the sink.

”And if I am?” He asked, his eyebrows raising, your gaze meeting his through the reflection, as you fastened the second earring.

”Then I’d say you’re laying it on pretty thick.” He laughed a bit, moving closer to you, your body turning to face him now. He looked down at you.

”You wound me, doll,” He murmured, feigning hurt, “Here I am, just trying to be a convincing partner for the night, and you’re saying I’m laying it on too thick.” You scoffed.

”Oh please.” Bucky’s eyes continue to roam over your face, looking at the way your skin glowed under the harsh lighting of the bathroom, the way your lashes framed your eyes when you looked up at him, the way you studied every expression that came up on his face. There was a beat of silence.

“All jokes aside though…You look great.” His compliment caught you off guard for a split second, as you cleared your throat.

”Well. You clean up pretty well yourself.” He hummed, looking at himself in the mirror.

”You really think so?” You gave him a once-over, using it as an excuse to really take in how form fitting the outfit was, tilting your head slightly, pretending to contemplate.

”Mmm, yeah, you look presentable enough.” Bucky let out a dramatic scoff.

”Presentable enough? That’s all I get huh?” His eyes narrowing with playful offense, drawing out a small beat of laughter from you. You reached for your cherry chapstick, not wanting to be too bold for the night, taking off the cap.

”Now, now, don’t be so dramatic, I’m sure there will still be plenty of eyes on you tonight regardless of what I say.” You said, swiping the sheer red colour over your bottom lip, then the top, repeating a few times.

“Is that so?” Bucky mused, watching you press your lips together, as you capped the tube, tossing it into your small bag.

”Let me see, the hostess, for one, probably all the women in the room, and even the men at this point.” You responded.

“I think you may have left someone out in that long list of yours.” You raised your eyebrows at him, adjusting the dress one more time.

”Oh yeah? And who might that be?” You asked.

”You.” He whispered, leaning in down a bit, getting into your space, his sweet, lavender scented cologne invading your senses. You held your ground though, refusing to crack under how smooth he was with his flirting.

”I didn’t know you wanted my attention so badly.” You replied back, leaning in as well, almost like you were challenging him, getting close enough that you were basically exchanging breaths with one another.

“Can you blame me?” He asked. You could feel your pulse gallop for a split second, as your lips parted, trying to find a witty remark to rebuttal with, only for you to stop short. His gaze flicked between your eyes, then to your lips, his blue irises glistening beneath the lighting. You cleared your throat, breaking the silence.

”That depends…Are you going to be like this all night?” He hummed.

”Are you going to let me? Because I can do this all night sweetheart, won’t even break a sweat.” You could feel the heart crawling up your chest. He was testing you, waiting for you to crack, but you just couldn’t give him the satisfaction.

”That’s a bold claim. You sure you can back it up?” He wet his lips with his tongue, his gaze still locked onto yours.

”You know I can.” The tension between you felt electric, humming in the small space that was still between you, buzzing loudly. Neither of you were willing to step back.

”Is that right?”” You murmured, your voice smooth, testing.

”You want me to prove it?” You arched an eyebrow.

”Are you offering?” His vibranium tapped along the edge of the countertop, whilst his other hand brushed lightly over the fabric at the bottom of your dress, barely touching it as he toyed with the hem.

”Hmm. Yeah, I am.” You could feel his fingers trail up just a fraction higher before you grabbed his wrist. The air in the room shifted, an all encompassed heat raising to your cheeks. He smiled at you, seeing the way you broke eye contact, your eyelashes fluttering involuntarily.

“Too much?” He asked, teasing.

“No…We just have to get going.” You replied. He looked down at you for one more second, gently biting the inside of his lip, before pulling his hand away, lifting his hands in mock surrender.

”Right. Wouldn’t want to be late.” You turned away from him, grabbing your bag from off the counter, the warmth of his touch still lingering against your skin. He watched you closely, hearing the shakiness of your breathing that you tried to cover up by making additional noise, but he knew. He tucked his hands into his pockets, a restraint to hold himself back from touching you again.

“Come on…We got places to be.” You announced, walking past him, keeping your eyes off him.

—————

From the street, the neon-red glow of The Velvet Fang’s sign bathed the alleyway in an eerie, seductive light, casting long shadows against the damp pavement. The sign flickered slightly, a heartbeat of crimson against the darkness of the night, drawing attention like a whisper promising something sinful just beyond its threshold. Bucky’s arm was draped over your waist as the both of you made your way towards the security guard, the scent of rain lingering in the air around you, mixing with the distant aroma of cigar smoke coming from the people that lined the alleyway. There were faint looks of exhaustion printed on their aged faces, and small sweat marks staining their shirts. You were thankful you had dressed lightly, because evidently it seemed like it was going to be overwhelmingly warm in the club.

The security guard stationed by the entrance was tall, and broad shouldered, a mountain of a man, with a shaved head, and dark eyes that roamed over you. You and Bucky stepped towards him, and his hard expression barely shifted, he had a tablet in his hand, which shadowed his face harshly.

”Name?” He asked, only looking at Bucky.

”James Barnes.” He replied, his hand twitching against your waist slightly, almost as if he was giving a warning. The guard looked down at the screen, scrolling up for a moment, before clicking on something. He took a moment, and you could see his eyes scanning over something, glancing up at Bucky, then at you.

“Super soldiers hmm?” He had a hint of interest in his eyes, as he continued to scan over whatever he had been looking at moments ago. Of course they did their research, you could imagine what was on that tablet, all the information. You wouldn’t be surprised if they had been watching you since you stepped foot in Vienna. Bucky didn’t react beyond a tight-lipped smile.

”Is it an issue?” His voice was casual, smooth, and non-threatening. The security guard looked up from the screen, letting out a short, gruff chuckle.

”Not an issue, we get all kinds coming here. All we ask is that you don’t start any problems.” Bucky offered a slow nod, his fingers soothing against the fabric of your dress.

”Wouldn’t dream of it.” The guard studied him for a second longer, before his eyes trailed over to you, dragging over your frame in a way that made your skin crawl. Finally, he stepped aside, motioning towards the metal door, sliding it open.

”Enjoy yourselves.” The moment you stepped inside, the heavy metal door groaned shut behind you, sealing off the outside world. There was a dimly lit hallway leading towards a set of stairs, and the thrum of music vibrated through the floor, a slow seductive beat booming under your legs, almost making them turn to jelly. You could smell the distinct scent of musk in the air; sweat, smoky leather…It was as if it clung to every surface of the enclosed space. Bucky still held your waist, as he guided you towards the staircase. Just before you could step down, he pulled you to the side, into the shadows of a small corridor, leaning in to talk into the shell of your ear so you could hear him over the chest shaking bass that continued to grow in volume. One hand settled on your waist, while the vibranium one was pressed against the wall behind you.

“I need you to listen to me for a minute okay?” You tilted your chin up, nodding at him.

”If we get separated, you don’t come looking for me. You don’t wait around. You leave. Do you understand?” Bucky wasn’t just saying this as a precaution, he was saying it because he knew there was a real possibility of things going wrong, and you could hear the tinge of worry sprinkled in his voice, even though he tried to hold it back. You shook your head.

”That’s ridiculous Bucky. I’m not going to run, are you insane? You can’t ask that of me.” He pulled away from you.

“Why do you always have to argue with me Y/N. Just please for the love of god listen to me.” Your jaw tightened, the weight of his words pressed down on your chest.

”You’re asking me to abandon you, Bucky. Do you not hear yourself?” His fingers on your waist twitched.

”I do hear myself, and I need you to hear me too.” You looked up at him, your eyes glistening in the faint red light of the corridor.

”It’s not an option, Bucky. I’m not doing it.” You crossed your arms over your stomach.

”Do you really think I want to be saying this to you right now?” Your arms stayed locked around yourself, a weak shield against the way his words were sinking into you, as you looked away from him.

“I���m not doing it.” You repeated. Bucky exhaled sharply, his hand leaving your waist for a brief moment, before his calloused touch reached your face, his rough thumbs pressing against your cheekbones, tilting your head to look up at him again. It was gentle, yet firm all at the same time.

“Please.” His voice was stripped of its usual steadiness, “Please Y/N. If something happens, I need to know you’ll be safe. You need to just listen to me. Please.” You could feel his hot breath hitting against your face, the all too familiar scent of him wrapping around you, warming your body. You could feel your chest tighten, your pulse hammering away in your throat, as you reached up and wrapped your hands around his wrists.

”Bucky…” His forehead dipped dangerously close to yours, his breath becoming heavier against your skin.

“Please.” He begged again. His voice cracked, almost like how he sounded last night after he had stopped crying, after he apologized for your tear soaked shirt, after he laid back down and said goodnight. You wanted to scream at him, maybe it would make him understand that you didn’t work this way, but it wasn’t going to work…

”…Fine. I’ll do it…” You could feel his breath come out in a sigh, as he pulled back, pressing a gentle, lingering kiss between your brows. His breath came out shakily against your skin, as his thumbs traced over your cheekbones for a split second, before stopping. The action had caught you off guard, but you couldn’t even think, because by the time you had something to say his lips had left your skin.

”Thank you.” He whispered, pulling back from you, his hands leaving your face, his warmth parting from your body. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a moment to recollect himself, his eyes flicking back to yours. You swallowed thickly.

”We should head in.” You said, breaking the silence. Bucky gave a slow nod, holding out his hand for you, guiding you toward the descending staircase, your eyes adjusting to the blood red walls that surrounded you.

The closer you got to the club area, the heavier the bass thumped through your chest, rattling through every bone in your body like a second heartbeat. The moment you stepped through the final set of doors, it was like you had crossed a threshold into a different world entirely. Now the smell of leather, sweat, and something much more heady settled in the back of your throat. It was dizzying.

The inside of the club was dark, you could barely see anything apart from the shadows that were cast from the strobe lights that were going in chaotic bursts, distorting the movement of the bodies that were tangling themselves into each other on the dance floor, but you could barely see. The music wasn’t just loud now, it was vibrating throughout your entire body, almost to the point where it made you nauseous. Your eyes took a while to adjust to the dimmed lighting, as you felt Bucky tense beside you, his hand tightening around yours. You looked over at him, seeing the way his face had dropped, like he was in shock, caught off guard in some way.

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky yelled, but it sounded like a whisper over the deafening bass. Your eyes finally adjusted to the lighting, and now your gaze followed his, connecting the dots as to why he looked so tense.

The dance floor was a writhing mass of limbs, hands touching breasts, settling between thighs, exploring each other, mouths meeting in heated kisses, completely losing themselves in the pools of lust and desire. There were booths that lined the outer perimeter of the dance floor that were hardly private. Some had sheer curtains that barely concealed the occupants inside, while others remained entirely open so that the scenes within them were revealed to the rest of the patrons. A man sat back lazily on a plush seat, his fingers tangled in a woman’s hair as she knelt between his legs, while in another booth there was a trio wrapped up together, moving in intoxicating synchrony.

Bucky leaned in close, his lips hovering just beside your ear.

”I need a fucking drink.” You nodded in agreement, as he pulled you towards the bar on the side of the dance floor. You stayed close to him, your hand tightening around his to make sure the both of you didn’t separate in the chaos of it all.

As you reached the bar, the dim glow of the red light bathed the sleek obsidian bouncer top, reflecting against the rows of expensive liquor that was lined up behind it. The bartender, a tall man with slicked back hair tied into a bun, gave an amused smirk towards the both of you, watching as you sat down on one of the stools.

“What can I get you?” You glanced over at Bucky, motioning for him to order first.

”Whiskey…Neat please.” The bartender nodded, turning to you.

”And for the lady?” You hesitated for a second, as Bucky’s hand rested against your thigh, his thumb tracing along the warm skin.

”I’ll have a tequila pineapple. Thank you.” The bartender leaned in closer to you, a spicy cinnamon scent immediately hitting your nose.

”A single or double shot?” He asked, you glanced over at Bucky, then back towards him.

”Double please.” He smirked, moving back to collect the bottles needed for the drinks, and the glasses as well. The bartender moved with an ease only a professional with years of experience would have, pouring Bucky’s whiskey while he poured out the shots of tequila for your drink, then poured the pineapple juice as well. He slid both drinks towards you, and smiled, going to the other side of the bar to take other orders.

Neither of you spoke as you drank, it was as if you didn’t want to talk about what was going on throughout the club. You kept your eyes locked on the glass, taking generous gulps, letting the burn radiate through your chest. Bucky’s hand remained on your thigh, tracing up your exposed skin, as he surveyed the room, trying his best not to be obvious. You could feel the slight flex of his fingers, before he continued to rub gently, like he was trying to soothe himself, and you at the same time. You finished your drink, placing the glass back on the bar, as Bucky moved towards you, pushing your hair away from your ear.

“I think we need to move, if we keep sitting here it’s gonna draw attention.” Your skin prickled under the heat of his breath, and for a split second, you thought you felt his lips.

”Yeah. Okay.” You replied, as he pulled back, his fingers leaving your thigh, offering you help off your stool. He held your hand as he guided you away from the bar.

The moment Bucky pulled you onto the dance floor it was like you were swallowed up by the bodies, but the people around you ceased to exist. His hands found your waist first, as he kept you close to him, making sure you were practically flush against him. His chest pressed against yours, while you found your rhythm, attempting to match the beat, the friction between your bodies growing with every movement you made, while your hands ran over his dress shirt. His warmth seeped into your skin, and you could feel his hot, uneven breath fanning across your collarbone. You felt his hand slide lower, resting on your hip, his fingers curling into the silk, holding onto it for dear life, as his vibranium hand traced up the length of your back, the cool temperature contrasting against the heat of your body. You looked up at him, your bottom lip slipping between your teeth, seeing the starvation behind his gaze, the kind that pinned you in place, made your pulse pound against your throat like a drum. He shook his head at you, leaning to the side.

”You have no fucking idea what you’re doing to me.” He said against your ear, your stomach coiling, burning hot from the words he spoke. His lips ghosted over your jaw, not quite touching, just hovering, trying to tease you into making the first move. His breathing grew heavier the closer he got to your throat, when finally, he gave you a gentle kiss, as if he was seeing whether or not you were going to stop him. You tipped your head back, exposing more skin to him, silently giving him the invitation he needed to continue. His mouth opened against your skin, his teeth dragging over your pulse point, eliciting a gasp from you, his tongue flicking out to taste the saltiness of your sweat.

“Fuck…” He rasped against your throat, bringing his vibranium hand down to press against the small of your back, to bring you even closer to him. You could feel every muscle in his body coiling so tight that he was practically shaking against you trying to keep his composure. His lips trailed up, going past your jaw, and ghosting over the corner of your mouth. Teasing. Testing. Waiting for you to make the first move and break, but you couldn’t…Not yet.

His lips hovered over yours, he was so close that every breath you took became his, the both of you panting. His nose brushed against yours, his lips parting to let out a shaky breath. Through the strobe lights you could see his pupils were blown wide, the adrenaline of the anticipation eating away at him minute by minute.

You let the moment stretch, as your hands slid up his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heartbeat beneath your fingers, before curling them into the hair at the nape of his neck, your nails dragging lightly against his scalp, earning a small shudder from him. Finally, you brought him down towards you, crashing your lips against his.

The second your mouths met, it was like a dam broke, flooding the both of you with such desperation it almost choked you. Bucky inhaled sharply through his nose, as his hands reached up to cradle your face, anchoring himself to you. His lips were searing, moving against yours like he had been starving for this. His teeth grazed your bottom lip, sucking it gently, willing your mouth to open for him, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth. You pulled on his hair, feeling one of his hands leaving your face to rest on your waist, as he pressed his hips forward into yours, a silent plea, and a wordless confession of how badly he wanted you. His lips broke away from yours, only to trail kisses down your jaw, his stubble scraping against your skin, creating a contrast to the softness of his lips as he bit, kissed, and licked a path down your throat.

“Bucky…” His name left your lips in a breathy moan, causing him to sink his teeth slightly into your skin, before sucking gently on it, hard enough that there would be evidence of his mark for the next few days. You pulled on his hair again, feeling his lips drag back up to reclaim yours in a kiss so deep that your chest was burning from the lack of air. His vibranium fingers slid beneath the hem of your dress, skinning the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. He was seconds away from dragging you out from the dance floor, seconds away from losing control entirely….

And then you felt a new pair of hands on you, causing the both of you to pull away from one another in a frightened haste.

“Well, well,” A voice purred above the pulsing bass, “Please don’t stop on my account.” Timothy Orkolov said, a smile draped over his lips. His gaze flicked between the two of you, taking in your swollen lips, the way Bucky’s hands had now moved to be more in front of you, so you would be behind him. He chuckled at the sight, swirling his drink around in his glass.

“I must admit, I’ve always wanted to see if it was true that HYDRA soldiers could go all night in the bedroom.” He teased, watching Bucky’s fingers twitching against your waist.

”Careful,” He warned sharply. Orkolov held his hand up.

”Oh come on James. You and your lovely partner here come waltzing into my club, put on a little show, and then you expect me not to comment about it? Forgive me for being curious.” His gaze dragged over you, appraising, assessing, his eyes lingering briefly on the scar between your chest, his lips curling into a smirk, “It’s rare to see two super soldiers together in one room, let alone seeing them in love like this…It’s almost poetic.” Bucky exhaled through his nose.

”Do you have a point to make or are you here to run your mouth?” Orkolov took a lazy sip from his glass, before tilting his chin towards the velvet-curtained VIP section at the back of the club.

”Why don’t we have a chat in private? Clearly you two came for something, I’d hate to keep the anticipation building.” Bucky looked over at you, his eyes still glazed over from your heated interaction, giving a nod.

”Fine. Lead the way.” Orkolov gave a small toothy smile, as he motioned for you to follow him.

The VIP section was draped in velvet red walls, the seating areas had harsh lights above you, where you’d be able to see someone perfectly, but it made your eyes sting from the transition from the dark chasm of the club to this. Orkolov took the both of you to a more secluded area, attempting to find the most private area so you would all be able to hear each other. He gestured for the both of you to go inside first. The room was average, it had a bar, a table, some velvet seats that matched the aesthetic of the rest of the club, and of course it was accented with gold trim wherever it could be. Orkolov roamed over to the bar, humming softly, like he was just having a pleasant meeting between old friends.

”Whiskey? Vodka? Anything to drink for either of you?” He asked, motioning to the bottles of alcohol behind him. Neither of you answered, “Well, suit yourselves.” He added, refilling his glass with whiskey, taking a long sip before motioning to the seats.

”Please. Let’s sit.” You and Bucky hesitated, looking at each other, trying to see what the play was going to be, but you never went through the possibility of having a private meeting with Orkolov. So you took a seat first, watching as Bucky joined you, his body on high alert, sturdy and stiff beside you. Orkolov’s eyes swept over you, his gaze dragging down your body, drinking up the image in front of him, until they settled on the scar that disappeared beneath your neckline. He swirled his drink around in his glass, placing it down onto the table.

”You know,” He mused, “I’ve read so much about the experiments HYDRA did. The enhancements. The conditioning. But you…” He leaned forward slightly, his elbows resting on the table, “You’re a mystery to me.” You kept eye contact with him, not breaking, not looking away.

“It’s such a shame they never completed you…” Your pulse pounded in your ears, but you still refused to give him the reaction, “Because that would’ve never happened to you.” He pointed at the scar. You didn’t flinch, and you could see the joy in his face, as he wet his lips, turning his attention to Bucky.

”Tell me James…When you look at her do you see a failed mission? Or the woman you supposedly love? You ever get that itch in the back of your head when you’re laying in bed together at night to finish the job?” Bucky’s hands twitched against his thighs, his jaw locking so tightly that it looked like it was going to shatter. Orkolov sat back.

”I mean…It must be torture, having her so close all the time. Being reminded everyday that you failed your duties to HYDRA.” Bucky’s breath came out slow and measured, but you could feel the rage radiating off of him. You wanted to put your hand on his thigh, but you knew better than to do that at the moment, as he brought his attention to you.

”It must eat away at you sometimes hmm? That no matter how much you love him, no matter how much you may trust him, there will always be that part of him that was given the order to kill you…And that it lives inside him.” You swallowed.

”He wouldn’t do that.” You replied, trying to convince yourself that it was the truth. You wanted to believe it, but there was still the hesitation inside your chest. Orkolov exhaled, a sharp laugh escaping his lips.

”Let me give it to you straight…You can love a blade, you can hold it close, and call it yours, but at the end of the day…It’s always going to be forged to cut. Just like James over here, will always be The Winter Soldier. Plain, and simple.” He smirked, looking over at Bucky, seeing the way his eyes had darkened, “And what will you do…When he finally does what he was commanded to do? When that blade you’re sure of is yours turns in your hand and carves you up all over again?” The words barely had time to settle before your body reached.

Your fist cracked against Orkolov’s jaw, snapping his head to the side with a sickening force, knocking him out of his seat. Bucky didn’t flinch, he didn’t even move a muscle, no protests, no getting up to hold you back, he was blank, almost completely void of anything. The room rang with the sound of a tooth skidding across the floor, and him landing hard against the ground with a thud. For a second there was only silence, you couldn’t feel your hands, it was like you went numb, but you didn’t care. You stood up from your seat, going over to Orkolov who groaned loudly, turning himself over, pressing his hand against his bloodied mouth, a gap showing from where you had knocked his tooth out. He looked up at you, with satisfaction in his eyes, as he coughed, letting the little blood droplets huff out into the air.

“I knew you had it in you.” He sputtered out. You crouched down, wrapping your hand around his neck, pulling him up so he was eye to eye with you.

”If you keep talking I’m going to snap your fucking neck. You may think they never completed me, but I still have the same serum running through my veins, and it burns for the kill. Especially when people run their mouths.” He choked as your hand tightened around his throat, “Now. We came here for information, so keep your end of the bargain, or else I’ll knock the rest of your fucking teeth out of your face.” He wheezed loudly, coughing up blood, the droplets hitting your face, as he moved his head up and down. Your grip on his neck loosened, allowing him to take a breath.

”There’s…A shipment coming in, “ He started, turning his head to spit out some blood that flooded his mouth from where you had knocked out his tooth, “High level assets…The remaining soldiers from HYDRA.” Your hand tightened around his throat again.

”Don’t fucking lie to me.” You spat, feeling him squirm, his hand coming up to hold your wrist, his blood smearing on your skin.

”I’m…I’m not. There’s still…They still exist.” He squeaked out, “Just like you guys.”

”When is it arriving?” He coughed again, more blood splattering on you.

”T-Tomorrow, m-midnight. At the ports on the o-outskirts of the city.” Your grip loosed on his neck, feeling his fingers trembling against your wrists as he struggled to swallow. His jaw was starting to swell up and you could see a faint bruise beginning to form on the side where you had punched, but in his eyes, it still held amusement, that unsettling satisfaction that he had made you crack. It frightened you that you had let the rage come through you again, something that you had tried so hard to control. The serum had given you this innate bloodlust, and you had pushed it down for so long you thought it was gone, then this happened and it felt like you were back to square one. You forced yourself to breathe deeply, as you threw Orkolov back down onto the floor, releasing his neck and knocking the wind out of him in the process.

You turned your head towards Bucky, but he still hadn’t moved, it was like he wasn’t even breathing, his eyes staring off in the distance. You took a step towards him.

”Bucky?” Orkolov let out a hoarse chuckle.

”Look at him…Poor little James, trapped in that head of his. I must’ve gotten to him just like I got to you.” He commented. With your pulse still hammering in your ears, all you could feel was wrong, absolutely sick to your stomach, and you ignored what he had said. Not wanting to get sucked back into the violence that was wanting to come out again. You took another step towards Bucky, crouching down in front of him.

“Bucky…Hey.” Your voice was soft, trying to get his attention, his eyes glazed over, unfocused and locked elsewhere. He still hadn’t moved, nor breathed properly, and it was beginning to worry you. You reached out, your fingers grazing his knee.

”Bucky.” You tried again, making your voice firmer, hoping you could break through whatever fog he was trapped in. Slowly you moved just a bit closer, lifting your hand up to cup his face, your thumb brushing over his stubble. His skin was burning hot, but there was no reaction to your cold hands pressing against him, no flicker of recognition in those ice blue eyes. This wasn’t shock or anger that was fueling him to be this way, it was as if he had completely shut down, turned himself off for the world like it was to save himself from doing something stupid.

“Come on…” You whispered, your thumb brushing over his cheekbone. Orkolov groaned.

”You think you’re gonna miraculously pull him out of this? It’s not up to him anymore.” You glanced over your shoulder at him, watching as he attempted to sit up.

”If you move a single muscle, or say another word…I’m gonna break every bone in your body. Do you understand?” You growled, turning your attention back to Bucky, sliding your fingers down to hold his wrists.

”You’re okay…You’re safe Bucky…I’m safe. You’re in control, Bucky. I know you are.” You could feel your throat tightening, seeing the absence behind his eyes. Your hands squeezed his wrists gently, forcing your presence into him, into whatever place he went to so that he could avoid the pain.

“I need you to hear me,” You whispered, desperation bleeding through your voice now, “You’re not there anymore, you’re not him…You’re Bucky Barnes, now come back to me for the love of god!” Finally, Bucky flinched. It was barely a movement at all, but you felt it against your hands, the slight twitch of his fingers on your skin.

“Come on…” You coxed, tightening your hands on his wrists a little bit more. Your heart was pounding, watching the way his expression slowly shifted, like he was trying to break through, then suddenly you heard it.

”…Y/N?” Your breath caught for a moment, your hands immediately meeting his face against, trembling against his overheated skin.

”Yes, yes it’s me. You’re okay.” You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, watching as his eyes began to dart around the room, taking in the environment around him, before settling on you again, seeing your skin splattered with blood.

”Jesus Christ what the hell happened?!” His hands came up to hold onto your wrists, pulling them away from him, seeing one of your hands stained with blood as well, “Are you hurt?!”

“It’s not mine, I’m okay Bucky.” His eyes snapped over toward Orkolov, who was crumpled on the floor, smirking through the pain.

”Missed quite the show…She’s got a hell of a right hook. Guess HYDRA really did do something right with her.” He commented, spitting out more blood. He looked back at you, surprised.

”I got what we needed. We have to get out of here though. I will tell you everything when we get someplace safe, okay?” He nodded, slowly getting up from his seat.

”Running away already? And here I was thinking we would have more time together.” Orkolov said, trying to push himself up onto his hands. Bucky stepped past you, moving towards him slowly, before standing above him.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll meet again, and next time, I don’t think you’re going to be getting out alive.”

——————-

When you arrived back at the hotel you didn’t know whether or not you wanted to shower first or call Maria to convey all the information to her. At this point you felt like every bone in your body was on fire, edging with this adrenaline you hadn’t experienced since HYDRA gave you the serum. It was almost mind numbing at this point, and you couldn’t imagine if this was what Bucky would experience when he was The Winter Soldier.

You took your phone out of your purse, dialing the only number that was in it. Hill picked up after the second ring.

”Tell me you have something.” You reached up to rub your face, feeling the crusted blood peeling off.

”There’s a shipment coming in tomorrow at midnight at the ports in the outskirts of the city. Orkolov said there are going to be HYDRA soldiers in it. The remaining ones…” There was a pause.

“Are you sure?” She asked, as you kicked off your shoes, glancing over at Backy who was standing at the kitchen counter, pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

“I’m positive. He was too scared to lie.” You commented, moving towards the bedroom, feeling Bucky’s eyes following, as you closed the door.

”That’s good. I’ll have a team en route to you guys by tomorrow evening.” Your grip tightened on the phone.

”Maria…I don’t think it’s a good idea that Bucky and I continue this mission. I don’t think it’s good if we come to the port for the shipment…Tonight wasn’t good for either of us, and with HYDRA being involved…I really don’t think we are in the right state to be there.” There was a long pause as you looked at your hand, seeing the dark crimson blood caked on it.

“You’re asking to pull out?” Her voice was even, but there was a hint of sharpness, maybe even disappointment in it. You pressed your fingers to your temple.

”We’re both compromised Maria…I almost killed Orkolov tonight…And Bucky basically dissociated because he got into his head. We can’t be there Maria…Please don’t send us there.” You begged, your voice cracking at the thought that you were both going to be faced with your past. Maria exhaled slowly.

”Okay…I’ll get you both out, but there is going to be a delay. Probably a day or two. Can you handle that?” You nodded.

”Yes, we can handle that, I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Maria was quiet for a second.

”Just get some rest, and I’ll send you the information when everything is confirmed. Stay put and stay off the radar.”

“Understood.” Then she hung up without another word, leaving you in the silence of the bedroom. You dropped your phone onto the bed, before opening the door, seeing that Bucky was still at the counter, nursing his drink.

”Maria is going to pull us out.” You announced softly, coming out of the room. He looked over at you, his jaw tightening slightly.

”When?” You moved towards him.

”She said about a day or two, she’s going to text the information when she gets confirmation.” Bucky nodded, as he brought the glass of whiskey up to his lips, knocking back the rest of the drink in one go, putting it back down onto the counter.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, watching you closely, focusing on the little splatters of blood on your skin.

“Like I’m on fire…I haven’t had this much adrenaline going through me in a while.” You commented, moving closer to him, “How are you feeling?” He shook his head.

”Like my brain is swollen…I feel absolutely exhausted, all I want to do is shower, and try to sleep at this point.” You watched the tension in Bucky’s shoulders settle slightly, the adrenaline crash becoming inevitable.

“You can go first if you’d like. I can wait.” Bucky shook his head, a small laugh coming out of him.

”You should definitely go first…You’re the one that has the blood on you.” He pointed out, motioning to your face and body. In the light you saw the smudges on your arms from where Orkolov held, the remnants of the night clinging to you like a second skin.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” You admitted, rubbing at your arms, as you turned on your heel, moving towards the bathroom, pausing for a moment just before you walked down the corridor, feeling Bucky’s eyes on you still. You glanced back at him.

“How about you come with me,” You murmured before you could think twice about it. His eyebrows raised, caught off guard by your offer, not sure if he was hearing you right.

”What did you just say?” He asked, his throat tightening on his words.

”Come with me,” You repeated, softer this time, tilting your head, “Unless you’d rather sit out here alone.” Bucky exhaled through his nose, shaking his head, but the heat in his eyes told you he didn’t need any convincing. Wordlessly, he pushed himself off the counter and followed you down the corridor.

You turned on the bathroom light, motioning for Bucky to come in before closing the door behind you, turning to look at him. He stood in the middle of the room with his hands in his pockets, looking down at you, letting his gaze run over the mess that you had become throughout the night. He sighed, bringing one hand up to rub his forehead.

”Should I turn on the hot water?” He asked, trying to break the silence up a little bit. You nodded, watching him slide open the glass door, and reach for the faucet, turning it counterclockwise. The sound of rushing water filled the space, steam already beginning to slowly rise, making the air in the room just a little bit heavier. He turned himself back towards you, glancing down at your dress briefly, as he brought his hands up to start working on the buttons of his dress shirt, the fabric parting inch by inch.

He was massive. Even after everything, even knowing the strength that came with the bulk of him, it still sent a shiver through you to really see him like this. The thick swell of his shoulders and arms, the defined cut of muscle beneath his skin, every inch of him carved from war and survival. His chest was wide, a few old scars slashing through the ridges of muscle, his vibranium arm gleaming under the bathroom light. His abs flexed with each breath, tight, strong, leading down to the deep v-cut at his hips. He pushed off the shirt completely, throwing it to the side, as he looked at you with anticipation burning behind his gleaming eyes. Slowly, you reached behind you, your fingers finding the zipper of your dress, bringing it down with an agonizing pace, feeling the fabric loosening around you. The dress slipped from your shoulders, pooling at your feet, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. You saw his fingers twitch at his side, as his gaze dragged over your body, trying to commit it all to memory. Your arms wrapped around your stomach, not out of embarrassment but from the weight of the way he was drinking in your body, the curvature of your breasts, the faint little scars that contrasted lightly against your skin, the way that your figure was just perfectly yours…It made his heart clench slightly, and suddenly he started to feel like he was overdressed.

His hands went to his belt buckle first, gently unlatching it, keeping his eyes on you as he did it. He slid the leather from the loops, dropping it to the tile with a clink. His fingers quickly returned to his pants to unbutton them, pushing the fabric off his hips and stepping out of it, leaving him in just his briefs. The both of you continued to look at each other, as you slowly closed the space, letting your nerves stir in your stomach.

You reached out, grazing the hard ridges of his stomach, barely touching, just lightly tracing the dense muscle there. You could feel him tense beneath your touch, his hand coming up to slide around your waist, bringing you just a little bit closer to him, the steam thickening around the room.

“…You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, bringing his vibranium hand up to trace down the jagged scar in the center of your chest, the coolness causing your skin to perk up against him, his touch didn’t linger there for long, as it moved off to your ribs, then up to the underside of your breast, cupping it gently, his thumb lightly brushing over your nipple, a soft gasp escaping your throat. A smirk tugged up onto his lips, leaning down so that his mouth was just above the mound of your breast, his hot breath clinging to your skin, savoring the moment before he finally took your nipple into his mouth. You gasped louder this time, your fingers pressing into the muscle of his torso, as his tongue flicked over the sensitive peak, his arm tightening around you to pull you closer to him, sucking gently, pulling his mouth off to blow against the wetness he had created.

”Jesus Bucky…” You moaned, as his mouth went to the opposite breast, wrapping around the perked nipple, nibbling slightly to elicit another gasp from you. Your fingers trailed down his abdomen, slipping under the waistband of his briefs for a moment, teasing him just like he was teasing you, as a groan radiated against your chest, and his fingers dug into your back. He took his mouth off your breast, trembling slightly, your hands trailing further beneath the waistband, his eyes looking up at you, seeing his pupils completely blown out from the tension, as you felt his erection against your palm. His lashes fluttered shut, and his cheeks turned a cherry red, tilting his head back as your hand wrapped around him, spreading his precum along his shaft as you began to slowly stroke.

“Oh fuck Y/N…” He gasped, bringing his hand to your chin, tilting your head up so he could crash his lips into yours. There was such a desperate intensity in the kiss, as he stole the air from your lungs, his tongue immediately tracing your bottom lip, begging for you to open for him, his hips rolling into your touch. You opened for him, feeling the hotness of his tongue against yours, as his hand slid off from your back, and slipped beneath the waistband of your underwear, earning a moan from you, your legs parting slightly for him. You were already wet for him, as his fingers trailed over the slick arousal, teasing your dripping entrance before pushing two fingers in with ease. You almost screamed at the sensation that rocked through you, as his thick fingers stretched you out. He pulled away from the kiss, resting his forehead against yours, his vibranium hand coming up to cup your face, as you started to stroke him faster, with him trying to catch up to your pace, his fingers curling inside you. You closed your eyes tightly, your mouth dropping open as you moaned.

“That’s it…” Bucky murmured, breathless, trying his best to remain dominant, his lips grazing your jaw, “Let me hear you.” He whispered, biting the skin just below your ear. You could feel your pace falter, getting distracted by your own pleasure, feeling this tension beginning to build in your stomach, coiling around every inch of your body, your hand tightening around him. He gasped, biting into the sensitive flesh of your neck, sucking gently on the mark to soothe the sting.

”If you keep doing that I’m not going to last.” He whispered, shuddering against you.

“Then we should…” You paused, feeling your legs shake beneath you from the pleasure that wrecked through your entire body, “We should move to the shower then.” You suggested, looking up at him, your eyes glazed over, just as lust filled as his. He nodded, slowly taking his fingers out of you, pushing your underwear down, with you doing the same to him. The undergarments pooled at both your feet as he wrapped an arm around your thighs, lifting you effortlessly, a surprised gasp leaving your lips, your legs wrapping around his waist, as he brought you to the shower.

The first thing you felt was the boiling water hitting your back, spreading down your skin as he pressed you slowly against the warm porcelain wall, reaching with one hand to close the shower door, the other one anchoring you against him.

His lips trailed down the column of your throat, peppering kisses along your collarbone. He was unrushed with his movements, savoring every inch he got to explore, as his hand caressed the curve of your hip. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with praise, almost like you were his religion, or the most sacred thing he had ever touched. His breath mixed with yours as he captured your mouth in another heated kiss, the both of you moaning in unison, your hands tangling into his damp hair. The taste of him made your head spin. The both of you felt as if you were drowning in each other, but neither of you came up for air, his hand coming up to hold the side of your face. He was the first to pull back, his lips brushing yours one more time before his thumb traced along your swollen bottom lip, as the steam curled around the both of you.

“Open,” He said softly. There was no dominance in his voice, it was just a quiet request, something that was optional, but you obeyed anyways, parting your lips for him. He held your jaw gently, as if afraid you’d pull away, but when you didn’t, he let the moment stretch, suspended in tension, in anticipation, before he let a delicate stream of saliva fall from his lips, into your mouth. The act felt like something sacred, something intimate, as his thumb brushed against your chin, his gaze never leaving yours, watching you swallow. The corner of his mouth quirked up, just barely, before he dipped his head, capturing your lips in another deep, slow kiss. His tongue traced your bottom lip, as if savoring the taste of you before he pulled back, his breath warm against your mouth.

“I need to taste you,” he whispered, his voice hoarse, his grip tightening around your thigh, guiding your leg off the side of his waist, helping you regain your balance. His eyes held yours for just a moment, a silent exchange of desire and want, before he leaned forward, kissing along your collarbone, licking the droplets that slid down your body, sucking gently on the skin right at the bottom of your neck. His hands settled on your hips, pressing his fingers into your damp skin, as he continued his journey, exploring every inch of skin he could reach, and you were at his mercy, not that you minded of course. When he got on his knees in front of you it nearly made you choke, his lips kissing along your hip bone, his hand sliding behind your thigh, squeezing it gently, coaxing you to open for him.

”You’re already shaking…” He commented, his lips finding their way to your inner thigh, nipping at the sensitive skin, wanting to mark you wherever he could so when he woke up in the morning he would know that this wasn’t just a dream. Your fingers threaded into his soaked hair, tugging just enough to cause shivers to rush down his body, silently pleading for him. His darkened eyes flickered up at you, his pupils completely blown out, not a speck of blue in sight, as he brought his lips up to your aching heat, placing a gentle kiss, before his tongue dragged along the entire area, your arousal coating his lips.

Your gasped echoed through the shower, feeling him press you against the wall so that you were secure with no possibility of falling, his mouth now completely consuming you whole. His tongue moved with such precision, tracing slow, sinful strokes along you, making sure he was paying attention to every spot that could earn him another moan, or hair pull from you. He groaned against you, his fingers digging into the backs of your thighs.

”Fuck…Y/N. You’re so goddamn perfect. So warm…So fucking sweet.” He whispered, his tongue dragging through your slickness again, “You’re wrecking me…” The vibration of his voice against you made you press your nails into his scalp, shuddering above him.

”Bucky…” You whimpered, pressing him closer, feeling the wet heat of his mouth driving you closer and closer to the breaking point, your hips rolling against his mouth, feeling the heat in your stomach beginning to boil.

“You taste so fucking good…I want to stay here forever.” You moaned at his words, heat flaring through your body, the sound of his desperation causing your heart to flutter, his tongue flicking against your clit.

“You like hearing how much I need you?” Your head fell back against the tile, pulling on his hair again.

”Yes.” You gasped, the pressure inside you mounting in a quickening excess “God, Bucky I love it.” He growled, sending another rush of pleasure through your body, his fingers digging into the backs of your thighs.

”You’re so wet for me…” He murmured, his breath hot against your core, “And I’m going to have every single drop.” One hand slipped from behind your thigh, reaching up to hold your breast, palming it gently, as he slipped his tongue inside you, moving it slowly. You felt like you were on the brink of collapse, all the sensations invading your entire body. He groaned, feeling you push against his mouth, his grip on your breast tightening just a little bit, as his thumb ran over your nipple. You unraveled one of your hands from his hair, bringing it up to hold the back of his.

“Bucky I’m…” You couldn’t manage to get your sentence out as you trembled against him, your breath hitching in your throat.

”I know…You going to come for me sweetheart?” He asked, his mouth now focusing directly on your clit, finding a pace that was so fast you could barely compose yourself before the pressure snapped inside you, your grip on his hand tightening, your nails digging into the skin as you cried out, the overstimulation ceasing your heart. Bucky wasn’t lying when he said he was going to have every single drop, his mouth moved against you like he was starved for it. Your body was trembling beneath him, as he pulled away slowly, looking up at you; his eyes wild…Worshipful even. You collapsed against the wall gasping for air, your eyes roaming over his face. His lips were swollen, covered in your arousal, his hair a mess from where you had pulled on it. He smiled at you, letting out a giddy laugh as he kissed the inside of your thigh, before bringing his forehead to your stomach, his hot breath cooling the droplets against your skin.

”Jesus Christ…” He muttered, half in disbelief, half in complete adoration, as he pressed kisses against every inch of skin he could reach, “You’re still shaking.” He commented, looking up again.

“You absolutely wrecked me.” You replied, your hands reaching down to cup his face, your thumbs running along his cheekbones as he leaned into your touch.

“Mission accomplished.” He joked, feeling your hands guiding him up so he could stand again. He raised from his kneeled position, his hands roaming your body, as he pulled you against him, so you could feel how hard he was for you.

“Bucky…I really need you right now.” You confessed, getting on your tiptoes to kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips. He pulled back for a moment.

”Are you sure?” You nodded instantly, feeling his hands behind your thighs grip, and then effortlessly lifted you, your legs wrapping around his waist as he pressed you against the tiled wall. His arms cradled your body like you were the most precious thing he had ever touched, and that wasn’t far off from the truth.

“I need to hear you say-.” You grabbed his face, forcing him to look in your eyes completely.

”I need you Bucky…Please.” That was all he needed to hear, as his hand left the small of your back, lining himself up with your entrance, your gaze falling on his reaction as he slowly pushed himself into you, his jaw slacking open at the warmth, his eyelids fluttering closed. He leaned forward, placing a kiss against your neck, continuing to push, the both of you savoring the sensation of going slow, taking in the feeling of being stretched.

“H-Holy fuck…” He let out a breathless chuckle, shaking his head, “It’s like heaven.” He whispers, looking up at you with his pupils blown out, amazed by the sensation of you fluttering around him, his fingertips digging into your hip as he continued to push forward until he bottomed out in you, a satisfied sigh escaping into the air.

”You feel so good…I just wanna stay inside you like this.” His words sent a shiver up your spine, your nails lightly scraping against the broad muscles of his shoulders. His body was a furnace against yours, and the hot water that cascaded above the both of you made everything feel like it was on fire. His vibranium hand moved up your side, his thumb brushing over your ribcage, then moving up to cup your breast. His lips found their way to the curve of your jaw, brushing over your skin, pressing soft, open mouthed kisses wherever he could. He slowly pulled out just a little before rocking back into you, slowly picking up the pace, keeping his eyes locked onto yours, trying his best to keep the unhurried rhythm he had found. With every thrust it was like he pushed deeper, making sure you could feel every inch of him, your nails digging into his back, dragging down.

“Bucky, you feel so fucking good. “ You moaned, leaning forward to rest your forehead against his as he continued to roll his hips up into you, adjusting the angle a bit so that his cock was dragging across your g-spot, a mangled gasp coming out of your throat at the mind-numbing sensation that shot through you. Bucky felt everything, the way your body clenched around him, the heat of your ragged breath against his lips, the way your nails dug into his shoulders just a little more, and the way you closed your eyes tightly trying to focus on not getting overwhelmed with how he was making you feel.

“You like when I fuck you like this?” He asked, rutting back up into you with just a little more force than before.

”Yes!” You practically yelled, as one of your hands came off his shoulder and tangled it into his hair, “Don’t stop Bucky, please don’t fucking stop.” You begged, desperate for the snapping of his hips against yours to continue. He placed a soft kiss on your lips, pulling back.

”I wouldn’t think of it sweetheart.” He said, a dazed smile appearing on his puffy lips, glancing down at the way he was sliding in and out of you so perfectly, before returning his gaze back up to yours, “You’re so wet for me Y/N, I can’t believe how fucking good it feels…I think I’m gonna want you like this everyday now.” There was such need and longing in his voice that you felt yourself melting against him.

”Bucky, I…I fucking want it all. I want you to ruin me. Take me as your own. Please.”You cried out, as he thrusted hard at the words that fell from your mouth, the tip of his cock grazing your cervix.

“I can do that.” He whispered, his lips finding your neck, pressing you against the wall just a little more as he picked up his pace, kissing along your pulse, letting his teeth graze your skin before sinking in just enough to cause a jolt to shoot through you. You tilted your head back, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing through the bathroom as he grunted against your neck, his hand grabbing tightly on your thigh.

“God you’re making me lose my mind.” He moaned, breathless from the fast pace he was thrusting into you with, the coil in your stomach tightening, twisting, and burning with a fury of a thousand suns.

”I’m going to come again B-Bucky.” You could barely string that simple sentence together as your body arched into his.

”I know. I’m gonna ruin you just like you asked.” He whispered, his lips finding yours, as the both of you opened your mouths, his tongue teasing yours, his hips rolling at just the right angle so he could drag another moan out of you.

“Bucky…” His name left your lips like a prayer, your back slipping up the wall with each harsh thrust. There was no rhythm at this point, it was just mindless, and all consumed.

“I’ve got you baby. Be a good girl…Come for me.” It only took another deep, perfectly angled thrust before you shattered around him, your body clenching, trembling, lost in wave after wave of pleasure, your walls clenching tightly. Bucky followed right after, his unstable rhythm breaking as he groaned against your neck, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as he let go, his grip on you digging into the sensitive flesh of your hips as he buried himself as deep as he could, filling you up with ropes of cum.

The only sounds left were ragged breaths between you, the hot shower water still falling over the both of you. Bucky didn’t move right away, he slowly took his teeth off your shoulder, observing the dark red marks that he had left, a satisfied smile pulling up on his lips, peppering soft, gentle kisses along the damage. You sighed as he leaned back just enough to look at you, his hand coming up to cradle your cheek.

”You’re so fucking incredible.” He whispered, pecking your lips. You smiled at him, your fingers brushing over his shoulders, feeling his arms tightening around you.

“We should wash off…Then give the bed a test drive.” You suggested. He laughed.

”Couldn’t have said it better myself.”