#sorry its been a hot minute since ive posted lol

[mutantrenaissance]

i have cracked the spectrum of the turtles personalities throughout the iterations raph in most versions is either a sarcastic asshole or just strong anger issues guy, and both really need a hug donnie as we already know is either nerd or mad scientist leo is either stoic warrior (try hard smh) or trying to be that and desperately failing (or just gay, I'm looking at you rise) mikey is either party man or party man with underlying trauma (<- can be used to describe them all though)

[dykecrocker]

YAYYYY happy 4/13 everyone !!! this was my submission for the homestuck ost appreciation zine which can be found HERE hosted by @ender--slime IT WAS VERY FUN AND COOL AND IM SO HAPPY I GOT TO PARTICIPATE !!!!! so go check out all the other amazing artwork everyone did :D

[loudclan-clangen]

HEY so the last ask reminded me that this is set in Alaska! As someone who used to live there it makes me very happy to see, so just for fun I brainstormed lore ideas/questions for a Clan there n I thought id share :) this is Long lmao i apologize

The terrain for one thing. Growing up I remember all the horror stories of people getting stuck in muskeg and not being able to get out before the tide comes in. so that’s always freaky, but i imagine that if theres any in the area then the cats might try and take advantage of it as safely as they can? for prey and such. on that note whats their water situation like anyways? braided rivers?

any specific ideas for what area of mountains the cats are in? are they in the higher ranges, the ones wrapped up in clouds, the rocky kind like the ones around Denali? the greener ones with all the trees? is their territory frequented by hikers and/or tourists or are they relatively untouched wilderness? I think i remember it being said that LoudClan is somewhere more towards the south, is it intended to be generally vague? :0

Predators!!!! The cats can deal with all sorts of unique stuff in a setting like this, bears n lynxes n wolves… eagles… possibly even wolverines since theyre up in the mountains? i’d be curious to see how a clan would react to a wolf pack passing through the area lol. also ive always just loved the concept of a queen finding an abandoned lynx kitten or smth and unknowingly adopting it and it just keeps… getting bigger… whoops… oh well its the clans weird child now

So many fun lil prey animals too, ground squirrels n ptarmigans n such!! I bet ptarmigans would totally harass cats during breeding season and that could be funny. maybe standard apprentice training is to learn the different ground squirrel alarm calls. maybe they even sometimes encounter dalls or caribou or moose on patrols (perhaps moose have even been known to kill before, so theyre considered dangerous).

Also just….. the day-night cycle??? I’d honestly be pretty interested to see how that ties in, like it’s daylight forever in the summer-early autumn and pretty much perpetually nighttime in the winter-early breakup. do the cats have any thoughts or beliefs towards that? do they like to look up at the northern lights, and listen when theyre so clear that they can hear them?

Okok thats all now sorry. I got way too excited lol i miss AK sm, i left when i was little 💔 if any of this has been discussed already in a lore post then ignore me its been a hot minute and i rattled this off on a whim!!!

Love this! Okay, let me try to hit all of these questions in a way that will hopefully be understandable for everyone so if you're the asker please skip past the definitions/backstory.

A 'muskeg' is like a swamp or a bog. I assume that you're referring to the area outside of Anchorage that we always called the 'Mud-Flats", because that's where I heard stories of people getting stuck. (Specifically there's a very famous urban legend of a soldier stationed in Anchorage who went out with his buddies, got stuck up to his waist, ended up tied to a helicopter, and when they tried to pull him out with the helicopter he uh... separated. And his legs can supposedly still be found in the flats. (I WANT TO CLARIFY THAT THIS IS NOT TRUE. THERE WAS A SOLDIER, HE GOT STUCK, HE DROWNED, THE SEPARATION HAPPENED AFTER HE WAS DEAD AND THEY TRIED TO RETRIEVE THE BODY. THEY DID GET HIS LEGS BACK TO MY KNOWLEDGE.)) It's pretty much a long stretch of quicksand (but it's like more mud and silt than sand? idk how to really describe it i haven't been there much cause ya know, hearing stories like that will kinda cure your curiosity as a kid.)

Anyway, Ghostclan's territory used to be Mud-Flats, but long before the cats moved in twolegs came and installed the Rip Rap (big jagged rocks that are placed on the coastline to keep it from erroding) that make up Freezingclan's territory and that kinda took some of the danger out of it. Since the tide no longer comes up so high, while getting stuck is certainly not a good thing, it's not a death sentence as clanmates have time to gather help and dig you out. Though it does make it hard/near impossible to launch an attack on Ghostclan without an insider to lead you around the wet spots. Larger prey can sometimes be found stuck in the mud, having died from exhaustion, but the wetness causes the meat to rot quickly, and what is left draws the attention of larger predators, while also adding the issue of having to avoid getting stuck as you retrieve it, so it's not really a reliable source of food as much as it is a last resort. Ghostclan also contains the territory's braided river, which the cats call the "Friendly River" because it's three smaller streams that meet up into one large one. (I didn't do the best job rendering this on the map but that is what I was trying to represent. I'm not a landscape person, I'm doing my best.) Because the territory is a narrow valley set right on the coast they don't have a ton of room for the rivers to braid, but the thought was there!

It is intented to be generally vague, because I'm not an expert on geography and I live a couple of hours from this exact area, I didn't want to say "yeah it's here" and then have people correct me with minute little things. Plus if it's entirely made up then I can alter things to my liking. But the territory is inspired by the land along the Seward highway, where on one side it's these big mountains and on the other it's just a short sloping coastline. It looks like this in real life:

(You can even see the railroad and layer of rip rap that I included in the territory map) I imagine it's a place where the road veers inland so that the clans can have more space to roam. While the railroad runs through the mountain the highway is just on the other side of it. The mountains here are nowhere as tall as Denali, but they aren't anything to scoff at either. I imagine them being something like this, (which I believe is Exit Glacier?):

The lower areas are densely forested with tall trees and thick shrubs, but the greenery gets thinner and shorter as the elevation rises until you get to the higher ridges and peak which is pretty much just rock. Loudclan camp would be located at the transition point between grass and rock, so that there is no place above them where their enemies might hide and wait to pounce. As for humans, the territory used to belong to a small mining town. They dug the mine, installed the rip rap, built the buildings, and leveled the area of the mountain that Loudclan camp is set on, but over time resources dried up and people left. Now it's nearly untouched save the railroad, which still runs through the mountain regardless of whether there's a stop there anymore. The fact that you have to either cross railroad tracks or mountains to get to it, and its remote nature mean that hikers don't usually put in the energy to venture that way. (My mom grew up in Sutton, a former coal mining town and railway hub that was long past it's glory days by the time she was born and so this fictional town is kind of an omage to that).

The cats absolutely will interact with unique predators! The game has done me the favor of adding in wolverines already (and let me tell you, they cause PROBLEMS), but the cats might also face off against an aggressive little ermine (which are much fiercer than their appearance would have you believe) or even find themselves stumbling upon a blackbear gorging on blueberries early in the fall. They aren't really in the correct area for a wolf pack (and to my knowledge i don't remember writing about any) but who knows what's to come? Okay, now onto Lynx. Up until about 30 seconds ago I was under the impression that domestic cats and lynx could hybridize. Why did I think that? Well because everyone and their mother up her SWEARS that their female cat got out and mated with a lynx at one point or another. That or their big long hair tom cat is part lynx. So who was I to question whether that could even happen? Well apparently it can't but oops, too late, already headcannoned that several characters are part lynx so fuck it. These cats are special. They've speciated. Juneaucliff's dad was a Lynx. What are you gonna do about it? Huh? Regardless, yes, the cats do interact with Lynx, but they speak the same language, so it's a bit of a different situation. It probably won't be mentioned unless people ask about specific characters, but anyone with ear tufts/unusually large stature/big paws may have been descended from a lynx at some point.

The prey animals I think are more dangerous than the predators honestly. So many of them are specifically adapted to the terrain in ways that the cats aren't. Imagine chasing a snowshoe hare across the mountainside, following directly in their tracks only to suddenly feel the snow fall away beneath you, because while their big feet allow them to skid across the crevasse without disturbing the crust of the snow, you're just a little bit too heavy and you sink a bit to far and now you're falling to your death. You're sitting on the edge of the river during a salmon run, watching an eagle dive down to grab a fish. What are the chances it changes it's mind and grabs you? A cat weighs a lot less than a king salmon. And moose would be a danger. 9/10 they won't even glance twice at you but the one time you get unlucky enough to jump down from a tree and land between a cow and her calf? Maybe with no snow a cat could outrun a moose but those long legs mean that there's no feasible escape in the colder months. Even in the warmer months a cat can be trampled by a herd of caribou if they aren't vigilant while walking along the flat lands of the valley. Ptarmagins are easy food, but they're annoying and they spook off every other kind of prey within their designated "territory" and are just generally a nuisance. Some of them are useful, though, Dall sheep wool is is great for insulating nests and shed antlers from moose and caribou can be used to strengthen camp walls and build dens or can be broken into smaller sections to splint broken bones.

The day/night cycle absolutely plays into it! That's why starclan moved into the Black Water Pool. It's the only place where night always exists. In moon 14 Part 2 Twistedtail explains to Wildfirecry that starclan had to move, saying "We couldn't survive there. Not when the sun silenced the stars for seasons at a time". Many cats believe that their ancestors can't see them while the stars are hidden, that the light of the sun blinds them, and therefore are more likely to do devious things in the summer when the sun never leaves the sky in order to avoid punishment. They don't live far north enough to experience perpetual night but even so, only having 6 hours of daylight in the winter does make patrolling and hunting much more difficult. As of right now, the northern lights mean something different to every cat. They each interpret them/were taught to believe something unique about them. Are they the last words of dead cats frozen in the air? Are they the souls of your ancestors dancing across the sky? Maybe they're a sign from starclan, demanding that the lead healer come speak to them at the black water or a sign of good luck for a little born beneath them. No one really knows, except for that they're something important. (I'm not committing to anything cause they could be used in so many interesting ways that i don't wanna limit myself ya know?)

anyway, thank you for the ask, this was so fun to talk about! My apologies for not answering as many asks as I had hoped to over my break, I was on a trip and then had to buckle down on school work and then got sick (just a cold. im fine) but things are looking good for a beginning of July return time still! (Note because I know what tumblr reading comprehension is like: I'm not returned quite yet. I still have to write a paper for school. But soon! Yay!) If you have asked an ask in the past month: I'm so sorry please be patient. There's so many of you. If you were sending me actual, physical mail I would be completely buried in it. I love it, and hope you keep doing it, but... just know it might be a minute... or two... or ten.

[vee-beeee]

Where you lead, I will follow

HIII

Since I posted a super long 2 parter Im going back to short and sweet ones for a hot minute

This is a tad gilmore girls inspired, theres a quote that ive been living by in here lol

Premise: You can Connor go for a walk in the snow during your break, you go get a coffee and Connor is cute

Warnings: Fluff as always, maybe a swear word, quotes lol

Connor x reader

SORRY IF THIS HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE

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4 more minutes

You had to suffer 4 more minutes of Gavin's rambling until you could excuse yourself for your break.

And you needed a coffee desperately, its hard to deal with this guy without it.

"-and that's when I told him he should've checked the body! Hey, Are you even listening?" Gavin leaned forward from his desk, removing his feet from resting on the top, and snapped his fingers right in front of your face. You jumped in surprise, having been totally in a trance staring at the office clock counting down the minutes, and turned to look at him giving him a hard glare. You mumbled a half-hearted "I'm listening Gavin" to appease him before returning your gaze to the clock. Gavin seemed satisfied and started talking again, going off on another story about how he insulted some poor sap on the police force, and you sighed softly before putting your elbows on your desk and placing your cheeks in your hands, choosing to stare out the window now. Resigning yourself to this fate.

But you were saved, by a certain android.

"Detective, would I be able to accompany you on your break?"

You tilted your head to gaze up at Connor, who was standing before you. His hands were behind his back, his outfit looking clean and neat as always, and he was softly smiling down at you. You beamed up at him, seeing what he was doing, and you nodded gently at him telling him he could.

"Excuse me tin-can, but we were in the middle of something" Gavin leaned back in his chair, resting his arms behind his head, his face twisted in a scowled directed at the poor android.

"Yes, but it is her allotted break time starting-" Connor paused and looked off in the distance for a moment, before returning his gaze to Gavin "now"

The anger on Gavin's face was apparent, but after staring down an unmoving and unblinking Connor for a good 20 seconds, he scoffed and got up to stalk away. You gently stood from your chair, stretching your limbs and grabbing your sweater as you thanked him

"You're a life saver Connor. I don't think I would have lasted another minute." you chuckled as his lips twitched

"I don't think I would have either" You burst out in surprised laughter, while his mouth curved into a smile watching you. You definitely weren't expecting that response.

The pair of you started off, and as you passed by Connor's desk that he shared with a certain eccentric detective you quickly turned to said lieutenant before walking past. "Is it okay if I steal your android Hank?" the older man spun around in his chair, and he rolled his eyes at you both good naturedly, totally hiding a smile. "Fine by me, that'll get him off my ass for a minute" you and Hank chuckled as you watched Connor turn a little blue and look away.

You and Connor left the station after that, and you both walked down the snowy street, on route to your favorite coffee place. It was way colder outside than you remembered this morning, and you began to rub your hands together, breathing into them. Your lips were chapped too, awesome.

"Are you chilly? Do you require a warmer jacket, maybe gloves?" Connor leaned against you, and you pushed against him, smiling as you thought of a response.

"Lip gloss, actually"

Connor turned to you, and you giggled at his reaction. His LED was blinking yellow, and his eyebrows were furrowed. "Why would you need that?" you rolled your eyes dramatically "My lips are chapped, duh" his expression instantly softened, and he made his cute little oh face.

"I'm afraid I don't have that on me, however I can purchase it for next time" you gazed up at him, surprise written all over your expression as he grinned. You both fell into small chuckles, and for the rest of the walk you told him what shades would work the best for him.

He was right about on thing, Your hands were a little cold. You wished you brought gloves.

After acquiring the coffee, you were having trouble holding the hot drink because of how scalding it was. Though the small bit of warmth it brought was welcome.

"I can carry that for you, I don't necessarily input heat" you smiled gratefully at Connor and handed him your drink, taking care not to spill it. But as your hands connected, he grabbed your drink in one and took your hand in another. You stopped walking and gasped in surprise, looking at your linked palms. You turned your gaze up to his face and he was goofily smiling.

"I noticed your hands were cold. I have a setting that allows me to heat mine. Is this okay?" you melted, and looked at him with adoration as a soft smile spread across your face, lacing your hands with him, leaning in closer as well and bumping into him.

"Yes, this is definitely okay"

You walked all the way back to the station, hand in hand with Connor, both of you smiling like idiots.

Yeah, you started dating like a couple days later

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THANKS FOR READING

I hope this hasn't been done before, I added my own spin on it anyways

And I hope you enjoyed!! Its getting colder outside so this came to my mind

[miikpal]

Heya, Milk! You got any advice for somebody who wants to start taking commissions but doesnt know where to start? I been drawing for a while (about 10 years), but I never tried selling my art before. It's kinda scary. I don't need a lot of money right now, so it's not urgent, ive just heard people say it's good experience. Is it worth trying at all rn? Sorry if you answered something like this before

no worries!! i dont think anyones asked me about this stuff before tbh... im in a similiar boat where i dont really do these out of necessity lol its definitely worth it!! if u thought about it even briefly its worth it to try

its been a hot minute since ive first started taking comms but i guess these would do for starters:

- your following might affect comm interest - i would only get very sporadic ones for the longest time unless i undersold (DO NOT DO THIS GET UR MONEYS WORTH) so dont get discouraged at first is what im saying. get ur pals to promo the announcement posts and put urself out there and eventually someone will get interested

- you can start small and lowkey. if u wanna just dip your toes in the commissions water before doing full blown pieces its absolutely ok to start with doodle or sketch comms. they tend to be cheaper and attract client bases that way anyway - so its a win win! low stakes and you can slowly figure out what works for you

- for the love of god make a TOS. having a document of things that are and arent allowed that u can point at whenever somebody tries to pull a fast one on you is a lifesaver. mines really thorough but i like to cover all the bases

- pretty much at every step where youd think 'going back to fix something after this part would be a pain in the ass' stop and send the progress to ur client and ask if anythings off or needs fixing before you keep going. better safe than sorry. in general be communicative and upfront about any info with ur commissioner - its a nice thing to do and will make both of ur lives easier!

- make sure ur comm post includes clear examples of the kind of art u can offer - this is gonna be the forefront that attracts ppls attention! they should know what theyll be getting

- set up a comm only email or a google form for taking in comms its. much easier to keep track of things this way. actual communication can go somewhere else but its good to have a single place just for the actual initial inquiries etc.

I RAN MY MOUTH LOL. if u have other specific questions feel free to ask for a follow up i suppose!! these are just the ones i wish i thought of when i first started. i hope ur commissions journey goes well, im rooting for ya !!!!!!!

[youdontknowwheretogofromhere]

Monday, September 23, 2024 8:42 pm

so

i didn’t go to school today :P i’ve been sick since friday and it’s gotten a little better i guess. i was sooo sick friday i literally couldn’t stand up, i was so hot and sweaty it was gen disgusting

anyways, I’m still sick and i’ve been having loads of nosebleeds so that sucks, thats actually why i didn’t want to go to school cuz i was scared of my nose bleeding in the middle of class and most of my teachers don’t have tissues so id just be kinda fucked

sorry for swearing, I’m just a little runt you know? i also have homework due tomorrow that i’ve had since like thursday to do and i haven’t done it soo

as you know per my last post, I’m 16(i don’t remember if i said that lol) and I’m such a fucking loser i know but i’ve got a boyfriend(?) for the first time(ill explain later) but i’ve met him on discord cuz i was super desperate and whatever

and i’ve met him

changing the song I’m listening to hold on

i’ve met him about a little more than a month ago(i’ve been trying to make more bad decisions lately) actually i want to expound up l

sorry my nose started bleeding a little bit

i want to expound upon that more. i felt like i’ve been too responsible my whole life, like internet safety meant the world to me and shit. but then i was like, am i missing out? not that i want bad shit to happen to me, but i feel like everyone has does stupid internet shit once in their life so like i want it too?? and i feel a little more stupid because like my actions lack authenticity so it’s so much lamer. like if i was some 16 year old kid that’s just so desperate for a relationship they date some internet because they haven’t thought about the repercussions then it’s like a thing to look back on and ittle be like “ohh i was such a dumb kid hahah” but since i know what I’m doing i just look like a dumb fuck.

it’s not even that i don’t like the guy, he’s really nice to me and he acts like he really likes me. idk if he’s lying to get something out of me but I’m just gonna pretend it’s real for now and hope it goes well for me

that sounds really sad lol. i just mean like he’s the only person ever in my life that has acted attracted to me and everything so like ther

changed the song again

there’s something there that’s keeping me instead of just letting me realize this is a really bad idea and i shouldn’t just block him or something. he’s got something up with him and maybe i’ll complain about it another day but

OMG ALSO like 20 minutes ago i asked him if he wanted to call and he didn’t answer cuz ig he’s too busy playing dark souls 1 or something. which only pisses me off cuz it took a lot out of me to even ask. i have social anxiety(idk what it is actually) but like i feel like genuine pain when i have to speak to people and reaching out to him almost made my heart explode, which it does all the time. and ive been trying to make an effort to be braver and talk to people more but its so hard. its been working tho, I’m actually able to start and somewhat hold a conversation now. actually the only reason we r even talking rn is cuz i was trying to get better at social interaction. like the third time he dmed me, i considered not responding and just ghosting him but i was like, “NO. YOU NEED TO COMMIT TO THIS.” so i did and now we are like dating(?)

to explain the question marks, and i still haven’t gotten over this. he asked me one day if we were together or something along those lines then i was like “i though we were already together” and he’s all like “well if we were together i think we would text more”

and omg it pissed me off to no end. THE GUY WHO CANT TEXT ME FIRST SAYS WE NEED TO TALK MORE. ARE TOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? like dude so we aren’t dating in ur book unless we talk more(and this is after he said we were taking things slow, which i[how do i do italics] thought was code for casual dating) and then won’t fucking talk to me unless i say something

and I’m only complaining cuz he’s older than me(he’s 18) and has also been in a relationship before( also told me one time that i was acting like his ex and i almost shot and killed myself) like dude, i already told you about my anxiety and shit

whatever anyways it’s been like 30 minutes and he still hasn’t said anything. who cares. i didn’t. even want to call him anyways

what really sucks is i really like him and think about him all the time and idk and i haven’t called him in like a week T-T

I’m so fucking lame god

okay i don’t think i have any more things to complain about so i hope you all have a good day/night/morning! i love you. i really do love you. you took the time to read my stupid ramblings and i really love you. god i want to cry but i can’t even cry anymore

should i start numbering these?

9:15 pm

[ohklah0ma]

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ASKING ABOUT MY OCS I AM SHAKING AND FROTHING AR THE MOUTH. GRIPS YOU GENTLY BY THE SHOULDERS

also im so sorry it took me a hot minute to get this reply 2 u im at work finishing this on my break rn HAHAHA

nat went thru The Horrors and once it was kinda “over” and they were on their own they were like ok. u know how i can deal with this. by literally becoming an entirely different person and pretending none of this ever happened to me!!!!!!!! i really need to write their toyhouse page because they have so much lore and i dont have it compiled anywhere LMAO nat is my oldest oc and theyre a terrible person (SLASH SILLY THEY ARE 13 YEARS OLD) i HATE them!!!!! because they lack their own identity their entire existence kind of revolves around their loved ones and since their loved ones are constantly in danger from various plot related threats (nat oberon and avery are all multiverse/“versetraveler” ocs so theyre involved with some friends ocs and theoretically various fictional characters because im a NERD) nat now has a horrible savior/hero complex. so they feel like even though their loved ones dont expect them to protect them theyre tired of putting in so much effort and energy into keeping people happy and safe and not receiving anything back (even though theyve given 0 indication tbat theyre struggling at any point because they refuse to tell anybody the truth about anything involving their own life) i have a whole more specific infodump i can send screenshots of later

HEHEHEEEE WE HAVE 3 PUBLIC VIDEOS SO FAR poet had his lore arc in june so we also have recordings of that and ive been working to get the video done asap but its gonna take a while because in total we have 6 hours of footage i have to edit down and animate HAHAHAHAHAA. but we have toothfae eva and eleazers arcs public! we also had an arc for another character named kam that was hosted after the actual minecraft server shut down but we dont have any recordings of that one 💔 the playlist is here if u want it (including various animations from smp members) and heres poet’s toyhouse profile but if you dont want any spoilers for his lore arc id recommend not looking at his post-arc tab or the gallery for his pre-arc tab!!!!!!!!! and if u (god save your soul) want the summary of part 1 and 4 hours of footage of me and my friends fucking around in a discord vc with the occasional Picture for part 2 (we dont have the recording for p1 anymore to save wyrd’s google storage CRIESS) let me know and ill send u the link

averys current story is part of a universe thats a still being written in collaboration with my sibling kay (@/theplxnetsystem but theyre not in front on weekends LOL) but their toyhouse is here and thats where u can find like their backstory and stuff. their general info needs to be written to be a little more coherent and red-flag-y but its still Correct. theyre one of my older ocs and i love them dearly and made them into a less than ideal person recently :3c

OBERON!!!!! oberon is one of my older ocs as well (most of my favs tend to be) and he was exiled from the realm of the gods after being convicted guilty of murdering his sister, leaving his brother and his other sister to take on both their own roles as well as the roles of the missing siblings!!!! oberon and his siblings (olivia, ophelia, and orsino) were gods relating to the seasons because the god of life has such a broad range of jobs he created lesser gods to handle things like animals and earthly change and such. oberon was the god of autumn but not anymore :’D now hes just some batshit old dude who walks around talking to feral animals and giggling with nobody. his toyhouse is here and has more fleshed out info :3 minus the backstory stuff sorry LOL im sure ill figure out how i wanna share that sometime but ill be happy to share in dms if u want later his story is actually in the same world/universe as nat!!!!! and their universe is connected to averys just bc both of them are versetravelers and so theres like this big multiverse thing going on so theyre technically connected?? but they dont interact much since theyre still different universes //shrug

last but not least my greasy boy axel. his friend got MAD and was hospitalized when he was like i wanna say 12-13ish?? and so his gradual decline began here. he started dedicating himself to finding all the information he possibly could on alternates and how people handled them and stuff hoping to gain some insight on how to save his friend (which eventually devolved into this but also needing to prove people wrong about him) he stopped going to school at some point and when he was probably around 14 (hes currently 15) he started suspecting his sister, melodie (13 y/o), was replaced by an alternate so then he stopped leaving his room and hes not doing so hot. someone take away this kids monster energy and make him shower he is FILTHY his parents want to help him but they have 0 clue what to do about this. so theyve been kinda indirectly enabling this behavior and theyre just trying to support him and his issues but someone needs to lock him outside to touch grass i swear

heres their playlists (out of the ones who have them anyway. some dont have toyhouses bc j havent done their profiles yet LOL) and pleaseeee if u have more questions ask im so so normal and im so excited that youre interested in my Weird Guys

nat’s playlist - poet’s playlist - avery’s playlist - oberon’s playlist that i definitely didnt forget exists - axel’s playlist

how much money do i have to bribe u with to hear abt your ocs. im willing to pay the fine please whatever it is

brother i will pay YOU to listen to me talk about my ocs. allow me to provide you with a sample of my wares aka some of my favorite children (opens one side of my jacket with several dolls strapped inside)

natalie macalistair - an angsty teenage ghost “””girl””” who is desperately running from their past and themself no matter the cost or who it hurts

aziel lockstone/“poet” - a traveling writer who settles down in the lepid grove on the coopSMP (collaborative story with friends we have videos and everything) after being chased out of town after town. eventually the horrors ensue as his family is torn apart. how far is he willing to go to find something (or someone) that will last?

avery laurier, the ace of hearts - an oc i stole my name from when i transitioned LAWL. the owner of serpent’s eye casino and the god of luck, who takes punishing the unfortunate malefactors who wander into their domain into their own hands when the other gods fail to do so.

oberon - a fallen god stripped of his power and his memory. he conceals his face from the world and himself with a bird mask and wanders through dimensions without a care in the world. at least, he doesn’t have any that he remembers long enough to worry about

axel finch - my mandela catalogue oc if you know what that is :-) axel is a shut-in who refuses to leave his room for weeks at a time because he’s convinced his sister was replaced by a demonic eldritch creature taking her appearance and identity in her absence. his parents don’t believe him and neither do his friends, but he doesn’t need anyone else to believe him when he’s sure he’ll eventually prove them all wrong with enough research and dedication

let me know if ur interested in any of these silly guys in particular i will explode about them in detail if u want

also thabj u for being interested even a little i might cry /gen

[lusciouslii]

actually yknow what forget that, my kink blog ill post whatever little thoughts i want. even if im just yelling into the void at least i get to yell!

longer rant incoming bc im tired and want this out of my system!!

-

so i met this guy on feabie and immediately it was super exciting because we go to the same college!!

hes also super fucking hot which was its own weird thing bc ive really never experienced like physical sexual attraction so that was weird. but yeah dude looks good and he has a nice voice so thats already not helping me

we’ve met up a couple times now, once to sorta test the waters, once just to cuddle in my room???? which looking back it was at that point i was straight up fucked because as someone who had recently gotten out of a bad relationship in which all my needs and emotions had been completely neglected, having that kind of sweet and affectionate intimacy?? all while my chubby body is being praised and adored??? never once had that in my LIFE.

the other few times has been pretty lowkey too. we did do a feeding session once but i got sick and it was the most humiliating thing. but he was so nice and caring and we continued to talk afterwards so i just try not to think about it anymore lol

we didnt talk much over the summer since i had to go back home across the country, but he reached out a few times and i was like damn ok im still of interest to him

this semester started great because i planted the seed (aka posted a pic showing i was back over here) knowing he would probably see it and if he’d say anything, and he fucking did he reached out and was excited i was back and wanted to meet up soon. schedules were a little rough but eventually we did!

i felt extra happy because it was sort if spur of the moment decision and he was moving back an online hangout he’d been planning with friends for a couple weeks. so i was like omg he really wants to see me even if only for a little bit thats so nice

and now that we have several months ahead of us we started talking about doing more of a feeder/feedee setup and things like that and im, obviously, super into the idea, and he seemed super into it too!! the dirty things he said to me that night!!!! not fair!!!!!!!

i sent pics later that night bc we talked about it and he said he’d “return the favor” lol but the. like. i sent them and he didn’t say anything until i posted a pic to feabie 🙃 and he was like oh sorry i completely missed your text! which like alright, and he asked me how i was doing and blah blah brief smalltalk

i asked if he wanted to meet up again soon and he said “Yea I’d be down, I gotta see what’s going on tho / need to play it by ear”

now heres where i get all introspective because to me, i dont see why we couldnt just schedule something in the future. unless, that is, hes trying to keep his schedule open for other stuff. i can get that to a certain degree, and i have to like. really ponder on it because i dont want to be some clingy needy girl who is fawning after a guy im not even dating, but its like….idk it makes me feel kinda sad? that im not enough of a priority to want to pick a set day to do something? so idk how to feel about that exactly

anyways i tried asking again some days later and he wasnt free, no surprise, usually when we do something its sorta this impulsive last minute thing, which again like. sorta plays into that whole im not really a priority unless idk youre horny or something

but its weird cause it seems like he does care and does want more than just horny shenanigans? we havent had sex yet and have only even had one actual feeding session. soooo worlds most patient fuckboy if thats the case but i just really dont get those vibes

but also im gullible and see the best in people i care about and thats how i got fucked over in my last relationship

im just feeling pretty sad about the whole thing right now because we talked about doing all these things and i really want that but hes so uncommunicative and im afraid of being obsessive. again, might be on me too because im going in thinking maybe theres a chance to do more

but then again even if there isnt thats FINE i just want to do SOMETHING lmao

so now im just left wanting and thinking about him a lot and oh yeah need i remind WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHY CANT WE JUST MEET UP CASUALLY ONE AFTERNOON 😭

idk but im afraid of maybe ruining the best relationship ive formed in this kink after figuring out what i wanted from it. god even now im just like “youre thinking too hard about this it doesnt matter that much, youre supposed to be flexible and chill and just go with the flow cause its just a little side thing” but welp. my brain is noisy and i dont have a good outlet. another problem of not having friends in this kink but im not good at responding to people which online is the only way to talk to people and now im just rambling

anyways ending this here and hoping he’ll reach out eventually cause boy does the heart yearn 🥲🥲🥲

[lightly-toastedd]

wow its been a hot minute since ive posted, sorry about that lol. school started up so i havent been able to do much art but ive been doing a good amount of sketchbook drawing so heres some stuff i doobled

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[ignorancelive]

FINALLY DOING ALL MY TAG GAMES AAAA  IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO DO THESE

@whitedeadflower​ |  pick my favourite albums for bill clinton to enjoy

not necessarily my favorites but i always pick the same 5 albums for these so i just put 4 albums i like a lot and have been listening to more recently <3

@opossuwu​ | 15 questions

1. What is the first song you remember hearing?

english songs: either learn to fly by foo fighters or human by the killers, i really cannot remember which one but it was around the same time im pretty sure

spanish songs: ALL the songs on/by rebelde, my sister was super into it when i was a baby so i heard so many of their songs right as i was learning to become a human

2. What is the first band you got into?

mmmmmmm probably one direction? if we’re not counting rebelde lol

3. Do you collect music on any physical format?

i collect almost all cds i know and like on CD and have recently started buying vinyl but i think im only going to get albums i really like on it since its more expensive

4. What is your favourite piece of music-related memorabilia/merchandise?

SO many things. i really like my nirvana and red hot chili peppers shirts because they make me feel cute! im also IN LOVE with the in utero angel sticker i bought on redbubble that has a transparent border so its JUST the angel, i stuck it on my record player and i love it so so much

5. What is your favourite concert you've been to?

i have not been to a concert yet :/ i went to a little student festival thing my university hosted for us and saw hunny + hayley kiyoko which was pretty neat

6. If you could see one artist (or band) who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?

nirvana :(

7. Have you met any musicians?

i went to a cd signing for little mix when i was like 12-13 ish but thats the closest ive gotten lol

8. What is your go-to song/album when feeling sad?

i actually have a playlist of comfort songs to listen to when im sad, but i think the song i most consistently go to is encore by red hot chili peppers

9. What is your go-to song/album when feeling happy?

this one depends. probably hump de bump also by rhcp cause it SLAPS and always puts me in a better mood than when i started

10. What is one music-related documentary you love?

EYE only watched a few minutes of funky monks but im sure if i sat down to watch it now id love it. this is the worst question to ask me because i watch a ton of interviews on youtube so i cant even remember which ones were legit docus as opposed to just youtube vids so this question is gonna be basically unanswered. i do want to watch bob and the monster though

11. What is one concert DVD that you love?

i listen to it more as an album on spotify than watch it but Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged is so good

12. Do you prefer listening to playlists or full albums?

usually playlists! but occasionally ill play the albums i have on my player

13. Do you tend to listen to albums in order or on shuffle?

in order, shuffling them is rare

14. What is your favourite deep cut song by your favourite artist?

favorite artist is rhcp and honestly im? not fully sure. quixoticelixer slaps. and i like almost every song on im with you. but i think im gonna have to go with storm in a teacup cause i checked its streams and its not that popular </3

15. What is your favorite CD/vinyl/cassette that you own in terms of packaging?

THIS ONES SO HARD I LOVE PACKAGING DESIGNS. i love how rhcp’s im with you disc looks like because it has the track list on it but it doesnt look bad like other discs who do that do. booklet design i love vices and virtues by panic at the disco and american idiot by green day. idk what this would fall under but i also love how stadium arcadium’s booklet is held in the case and how when you take it out you see a picture of the band. and there are too many albums whose art i love so i cannot elaborate on that without making this 5xs longer lmao

@garbanz0​ & @dailywilliams​​ | top 5 songs ive had on repeat recently

according to spotify’s on repeat playlist:

but also according to my last.fm:

so basically red hot chili peppers own my ass

@badhe4d​ , @garbanz0​ , & @catts-world​ | 10 songs you like, each by a different artist

uhhhhhhhhhhh

1. Monarchy of Roses - RHCP 

2. Back and Forth - Foo Fighters

3. Heart of Glass - Blondie

4. Omission - John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer

5. Dance with Me - Sir, Please

6. Henrietta - The Fratellis

7. Breed - Nirvana

8. Mary - The Happy Fits

9. Girls and Boys - Blur

10. It’s All So Incredibly Loud - Glass Animals

@psychoticbreak​ |  suppose you’re being sent to a deserted island for the rest of your life, and you can only choose 10 records to bring with you and those are the only albums you can listen to for the remainder of your life; what albums are they

oh GOD ok

1. in utero - nirvana

2. stadium arcadium - RHCP

3. nothing personal - all time low

4. red - taylor swift

5. after laughter - paramore

6. wasting light - foo fighters

7. im with you + im beside you if you count them as the same album - RHCP

8. so wrong its right - all time low

9. american idiot - green day

10. inside of emptiness - john frusciante

@mark-hoppuss​ |  shuffle my playlist and list the first ten songs that come up

1. New Invention - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me

2. Thanks to You - All Time Low

3. Por Que Me Haces Llorar? - Juan Gabriel 

4. Torture Me - Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. Speak Now - Taylor Swift

6. Prayer of the Refugee - Rise Against

7. Going Away to College - blink-182

8. Time-Bomb - All Time Low

9. DNA. - Kendrick Lamar

10. Heaven is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle

@frafru1​ , @whitedeadflower​ , & @psychoticbreak​ | make a playlist with the letters of my name

Lithium by Nirvana

Universally Speaking by RHCP

Pool by Paramore

Eye Opener by Dot Hacker

@badhe4d​ |  post my lock screen, the last song I listened to and the last picture I saved on my phone

friends name blocked out but. an interesting screenshot. yes i have flea’s tweet notifs on and use twitter for absolutely nothing else. yes i have email notifs on 

if screenshots count:

if they DONT count and you mean purely just saving:

my icon and boyfriend <3

@badhe4d​ | 7 questions to get to know me better

three ships: not romantically because i dont believe in shipping irl people but i love everyone in rhcp’s gay polycule energy. specifically john and anthony in the 80s. romantically tho mickey and ian in shameless. i dont think i have a third one? me and my bisexual mutuals <3

last song: i shuffled a ton of songs and skipped for some of these tags but before those i was listening to the album weird kids by we are the in crowd as a tbt, specifically the song manners

last movie: inside by bo burnham but if you dont count that, hereditary 

currently watching: it is very difficult for me to watch shows so im currently just watching youtube lol

currently reading: nothing. i cannot read :( bc of attention issues not bc im illiterate

currently consuming: banana bread :3

currently craving: RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS RELEASE YOUR FUCKING ALBUM CHALLENGE

@the-replacemints​​ |  top 10 favorite debut albums

NOT in order. also it took way too long to come up with this list lol

1. Concentrate - The Happy Fits

2. So Wrong It’s Right - All Time Low

3. SOUR - Olivia Rodrigo

4. Strange Desire - Bleachers

5. RAZZMATAZZ - I Dont Know How But They Found Me

6. Hot Fuss - The Killers

7. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

8. Bleach - Nirvana

9. Costello Music - The Fratellis

10. WALK THE MOON - Walk The Moon

because theres so many of these im not gonna tag people for each individual prompt but if you tagged me in one of these i tag you in whichever ones you wanna do <3

[stop-weighting-for-change]

UPDATE 7

wow oh WOW!

Oooooops

So it’s been a HOT minute since I last updated (which was August so really the hottest of minutes lol)

Things have been weird but good?!

I have lost ANOTHER 10lbs (TEN!!!!!) SINCE I LAST POSTED WHAT THE WHAT! I am officially in the 160s and lovinnnnngggg iiiittttt! It feels surreal and its probably taken a lot more time than it should have since I started in June but tbh 23lbs in 6 months?!?! Im not mad about it!

The holidaze (including Halloween and Thanksgiving) have made it a bit harder to lose/keep it off (deff some fluctuation the last few months and (weeks honestly)) but tbh 1) thats normal and 2) im not gonna deprive myself when I’ve already exceeded a lot of my own expectations and perceived abilities.

Goals for the new year include: - getting into the 130s (minimum) - saving more $$$ and revamping my wardrobe - becoming stronger and more confident - being more appreciative of the every day little things/blessings i’ve been given - loving my family and Him more - getting vaccinated yalllllllll <33333 ****SHOUT OUT TO THE SCIENTISTS RESEARCHERS DOCTORS TRIAL PARTICIPANTS AKA MFING HEROES OF OUR SOCIETY LEGIT DOING GODS WORK OUT HERE!****

The start of December was some of the lowest Ive probably ever felt for personal reasons and uncontrollable things in life but it taught me 1) to not take anything/anyone for granted bc life aint that long and its taken me 24yrs to realize that and 2) that the MOST important thing is how we treat those around us, especially those we care most about and to appreciate the time we have with them to the best of our abilities <33

Sorry for the crazy tirade, ramble, rant. I JUST FEEL LIKE I JUST OPENED MY EYES FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IM READY FOR 2021!!!!!

Were all in this together yall! I know Im a small blog and tbh an insignificant person but if I can be someone for any of yall to lean on or be supported by, IM HERE

P.S. my family and I watched this show on Disney+ called Disney Insider and on s1e5 there was a feature about runDisney and NOW im planning to train to do the wdw half marathon next january (2022) with my best friend and the star wars 5k next april with my family. Idk why I’ve suddenly been possessed by the running bug but i’ve now watched so many videos on runDisney and i cannot wait to train (what is wrong with me?!)

P.P.S God is good all the time!!!!!!

[wickymicky]

you know, i used to say that Egoist or Hi High were my number one favorite kpop songs (it went back and forth, i think i was most vocal about Egoist being my number one but there were times when i felt like it was Hi High), but like... idk... like aside from So What, i feel like i’ve barely listened to Loona at all so far this year, and honestly it’s been like six or seven months, maybe eight or nine, since i regularly listened to Loona every day (again, aside from So What).... i’ve listened to Egoist, a song that i considered my favorite kpop song hands down for the majority of the time i’ve been into kpop, like ten times this year and that’s it... and some of those times were because i had the thought “oh jeez i havent listened to this song in a long time, i should do that... i’m betraying it...”

i wonder if i only kept saying/thinking that egoist is my favorite kpop song because i said it once and i had to stick to it... i think its pretty clear to any mutuals i have that my actual favorite kpop song is something like picky picky though, a song i actually post about all the time and listen to really frequently...

:/

so yeah, there’s no easy way to say this, but it really feels like i’m hanging on to Loona out of a sense of loyalty more than anything else :( it’s hard to put into words but listening to Loona feels kinda different these days. knowing more about how they decided things on the fly and how rushed the selection of the final members was (and how little the members were told) kinda... like... doesn’t it change how you listen to a song like New or Egoist? it certainly gives a lot more context to Yves being really shy in those first loonatvs she was in... and Olivia’s experience with her debut was such a whirlwind, like, she was just kind of thrust into the group... i have soooo much respect for all the members for being able to handle it, and i think it’s a fuckin miracle that it worked and they ended up with twelve incredible members, all of whom are so talented and any group would be lucky to have them, but even still just... some of the fun is lost a little bit for me. and I can’t listen to Everyday I Love You, one of my favorite Loona songs, without thinking of how much Vivi’s potential has been wasted. it turned a song that i have fun while listening to into one that makes me frustrated or sad. 

for whatever reason, i feel less of that when listening to ot12 stuff, even if some members get shit for lines, tho tbh, and this is a really hot take and i’m sorry... but i’m really mostly just into their three title tracks (and Favorite i guess), i rarely listen to their bsides.. they don’t hit me the same way, i guess. anyway though it’s the predebut stuff that makes me frustrated or sad. i cant help but empathize and think of what they must be feeling in the predebut era... happiness and excitement sure, but also nervousness, anxiety, stress, etc... the one by one debut concept was novel and it ended up working out in a sense, but at what cost? it was able to work out because the yyxy members were brought in at the last minute, Hyeju literally with only like 24 hours before they were gonna reveal the next member, and with all the changes we know about like Vivi probably being intended to be in OEC and things like that, and trainees that BBC had who for whatever reason ended up being rejected also probably at the last minute in favor of the yyxy members who were brought on... sigh... idk

it feels like it’s getting harder and harder to be a fan of this group, too. as they get more popular and more recognition, the fandom is growing, and with that comes a lot more drama, none of which i particularly care about (aside from the stuff relating to the group itself, as i’ve been talking about). they got their first win, and i was happy at the time, but... i’m worried about their future. it’s not that i wish they didnt get their first win, it’s just... i hope this doesnt make BBC feel validated in overworking and over-controlling them, you know? i want to believe that a lot has changed for the better since after Butterfly, especially when Jaden Jeong left, but we just have no way of knowing that for sure. there’s evidence for both sides, so at the end of the day, all we can do is speculate, and that doesnt really help anything. 

it sucks to admit this to myself but i feel like i’m losing interest in this group because of all this. whenever i’ve watched loona content from the So What era, sometimes they do seem happy, but even then there’s this feeling that they’re stressed and tired. are they happy? again, we can only speculate, so it’s best not to, but i cant stop my idiot brain from assuming the worst and picking up on signals that might not even actually be there, it’s just confirmation bias. maybe i only feel like theyre not at 100% because i’m already worried theyre not at 100%, you know? hmmm. also, i just... don’t think i feel the same connection with this group that i used to. maybe i never really did, tbh. they were my first group, my introduction to kpop, and i genuinely love some of their stuff still, but i feel like as i’ve gotten sooooo much more understanding of this whole kpop industry and i can put loona’s discography in context with aaaaaallllllll the other kpop songs i’ve listened to.... i feel like a lot of their stuff hasn’t aged as well as i would want, for me. you know how sometimes you wonder how much of what you like is really stuff you like, and how much is only because other people like it so you subconsciously feel you have to too? well, at first i would have said i genuinely love all of it and i could explain why, but idk i think i was convincing myself of some of it... as ive found more stuff that i genuinely love, it becomes clearer what are my things and what arent, you know? when i only knew 30 kpop songs and had 5 super-favorites, it was easier to overestimate some things, but now that i know hundreds and have a really deep pool of super-favorites, some of that early stuff i found is overshadowed, i guess. maybe egoist isnt as special to me anymore cause like.. at the time, i hadnt heard many kpop songs like it, but now... i have. and some of them do what it does just as well................. if not better............... sigh, i feel like im punching my past self in the gut

if this hurts you to read cause you’re a huge orbit, trust me, i know what you mean, it hurts to admit this. it kinda sucks to realize that you’re slowly losing interest in something you once loved and was incredibly important to you. 

oh and by the way, when i talk about losing interest, i dont mean that i dont care about loona anymore lmao, i just mean theyre going from my number 1 or 2 or 3 spot down to like my number 5 or 6 or 7 spot haha, alongside other groups that i like a lot but don’t follow the same way i follow my ults. so like even if i continue feeling this way about them, theyre still one of my favorite groups lol. like i guess i would kinda place them around where i would place twice or another group like that in my top 10? anyway... i just had to get this all off my chest. it started out being a post just about egoist and kinda hi high too, but then i realized i had a lot more to say haha, sorry. hopefully this doesnt upset anyone, idk, i hope you understand where im coming from :(

[yeehaw-sphnix-blog]

!!!!!!!

sksks im so fucking dull and boring so this isn't gonna be interesting

tagged by @iffy-outlaw (ive never been tagged with like questions or anything so likkke HHHH)

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better

nickname: i really don't have one. my name is keirah. everyone calls me keirah for the most part unless they don't so.

height: 5'5 or 5'6 maybe? somewhere around there.

last movie i saw: good will hunting w/ robin williams and matt damon jEsuS fuck is that a phenomenal movie

favorite artists: green day, the doors, the beatles, tool, placebo, pearl jam, twenty one pilots, muse, chris cornell, jack white, michael jackson, and many, many others. trust me.

song stuck in my head: lakini's juice by live

do i get asks: never lol

other blogs: i have an old shit one floating around this website somewhere but i don't remember the name. besides that, this is my only account.

following: maybe 80 or something i don't remember. i dont like following too many people. going through my tumblr everyday is a fucking pain and takes me like an hour.

amount of sleep: no exact number but all i know for sure is that its definitely not consistent.

lucky number: 111 idk why. always pops up in my life at the right time it seems. if that makes any sense.

what i'm wearing: an x-men t-shirt and some panic at the disco pajama pants. im a fucking child i know.

dream job: im not entirely sure yet. ive always wanted to pursue a career in the arts but im not very good at like music or drawing or anything like that. i would call myself creative, i know i have the potential to do those things im just lazy and unskilled. maybe music. but i also really enjoy writing, science, psychology, that sort of thing. i honestly have no idea. right now i just kinda wanna work at a subway. idk why. seems like a good job. i like sandwiches.

fav food: im a vaccum cleaner ill eat pretty much anything but i really like steak, italian food, anything that's awful for me pretty much.

dream trip: i've always realllly really really wanted to go to ireland. take my family there, be able to see all the structures and shit. if i had it my way id go literally every place i could in the world (as an american). i also would love to go to florida again. idk why i just love really humid, hot, gross, sticky weather. if its so humid that i stop breathing for a second then i am pleased. maybe go to new zealand, germany, and egypt one day too idk.

do you play any instruments: i play concert percussion. im not good. i mean i kinda am. i can sorta play bass guitar but like thats it.

languages: obviously english and a little conversational german.

favorite song: i have too fucking many. thats a post in itself. one that comes to mind rn is scared of girls by placebo.

random fact: there was this one time in 4th grade where we had to run around our gymnasium like 28 times in under 12 minutes (i think 28 laps was equivalent to mile) and i did and i got on the top runners list and i was really proud of myself and i have never gotten any sort of achievement for athletically excelling in something since then so that says alot about me.

describe yourself as aesthetic things: (i tried my best i apologize) humid rainy days, brightly painted mexican restaurants that you see in really shitty parts of neighborhoods (you know what i am talking about), the smell of antique stores, bustling big cities at night, shitty gas station coffee, a blanket that just came out of the dryer, the sound of someone screaming "i wanna big titty goth girlfriend" in an echoey cavern, itchy cooch, and sore kneecaps

im really sorry i cant take things seriously✌️🤠

that was alot of fun actually. also not gonna tag 21 people because not to be rude but i don't think there are 21 people on this app that i want to know more about and i don't wanna seem annoying so ill only tag a couple. plus i only know like 2 people so.. heh👊👊 sorry for breaking the rules not lol rules are for quitters and also sorry to bother the 4 people i tagged i apologize forgive me for my sins i hate inconveniencing people ok gBYe

@pollypocketlizard @basicallyreece @ohorthur @mailordercowboy

[eatsless]

I posted 3,210 times in 2021

91 posts created (3%)

3119 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 34.3 posts.

I added 17 tags in 2021

#omg - 4 posts

#halloween - 3 posts

#text post - 2 posts

#!!! - 2 posts

#writing poems while im crying at work lol - 1 posts

#be a decent human being - 1 posts

#pfffffthahaha - 1 posts

#omg i need these??!!@ - 1 posts

#i am so excited these are so frickin cute - 1 posts

#oh my gosh - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 107 characters

#me: he looked rude and evil. who laughs like a freaking disney villain while trying to run someone over??!!

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Is it a bad idea to text my now ex gf that breaking up with me via text was fucked up? I have the text drafted up and ready to send. I'm just so mad. It feels so disrespectful that she did it thru text

3 notes • Posted 2021-03-16 20:18:02 GMT

#4

Total tmi and gross abt poop

Idk how to do a read more so here

Bc of my disordered eating and fucked diet, I had a poop build up in my butt. Like, the poop had hardened so it wouldnt come out, and what bits I did get out were bad enough that it tore my butt ouch so I took a ton of lax last night to try to force something and it worked but holy fucking hell it was painful and bloody and I crave death. It's been a hot minute since I had this happen, the last time was last year and it was much worse than this, but it hurts so bad omggg I feel as if someone rammed my unprepared ass with a fucking wine bottle like holy hell

3 notes • Posted 2021-03-02 14:27:25 GMT

#3

Lately a lot of people have been saying how small and boney i am, even today one of my coworkers was like "its 80 degrees outside and you're in a sweater, you're nothing but bones no wonder you're cold. You're tiny!" And I was just like. Aaaa yes. Dopamine how I've missed thee

3 notes • Posted 2021-04-08 03:50:34 GMT

#2

I saw a picture of my younger self,

Her blonde curls striking and her

Face so soft and

Innocent.

I started crying,

The things I've done to

This young girl are devastating,

I've destroyed her.

I'm sorry

3 notes • Posted 2021-07-30 13:05:57 GMT

#1

Since she broke up with me on friday 3/12, ive:

Gotten blackout drunk and passed out face down on the floor

Gone on a 6 mile hike

Had a photography day

Ate a lot of asian food and found a really cute affordable hibachi restaurant

Did a campfire and smores

Had a girls day lunch with my mom, mawmaw, and auntie

Built a bookshelf

Exercised a lot!!

Played animal crossing and just dance

Hung out with friends

Got high on some devils lettuce and ordered a cute banana pipe from etsy

Gone shopping

Listened to a lottt of vinyls

Made some new friends on bumble bff who seem really cool!!

7 notes • Posted 2021-03-19 16:52:35 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[petersspidey]

Road Trip

Request: YESS MY DUDE PLS WRITE A ROAD TRIP FANFIC I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER!!!!

A/N: Ahhhhh, this is a marvellous idea and lmaoooo I'm actually writing this on the plane ride home. I was only delayed for two hours sitting on the tarmac and then a nine hour flight home!!! Let’s just say, it’s been a long day. And tbh I literally would never write this on a plane (usually) but I got lucky and there’s nobody sitting on either side of me or behind me WOW so here I am, somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean (actually I'm probably over France rn) writing about you guys and fucking Peter Parker.

I also decided to try and do this a different way, its one of those Headcanon posts instead

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: nada

Masterlist

The lovely Peter Parker and yourself had been best friends for quite sometime and boy were you both pining over each other. Extremely pining.

It was a lot of almost but not completely’s. Which annoyed the hell out of you. But I mean, Peter also annoyed the hell out of you.

You loved the boy, but he was needy. (Lol you love it).

You had just finished your third year of high school when you and Peter decided that you needed to go on a road trip.

Meaning that Peter begged you to take a road trip with him. By then, he had passed his driver’s test and was ready to go on the road.

In the middle of July, you and Peter climbed into May’s car and began making your way to Niagara Falls.

It was seven in the morning and Peter had pulled up in front of your building in May’s car.

Peter jumped out and grabbed your bag and threw it into the trunk, rushing back around to open the car door for you. “Good morning, Y/N,” 

“Well it looks like someone is in a good mood,” 

“Of course I'm in a good mood, i’m excited! Aren’t you excited? We’re finally going on the road trip!” 

“Yes, Peter, I’m very excited,” you laughed. 

“Ive never been Niagara Falls, what do you think it’s like? And how long until we get there? You know I'm not good on long drives,” 

“Oh my god, Peter. Okay, Niagara Falls is very nice, you’ll love it. It’s about six and a half hours but because we’ll get caught in rush hour it’ll probably be closer to eight,” you answered.

“Then let’s go,” Peter smiled, putting the car into drive, heading towards the highway.

You were not at all surprised how simultaneously prepared and unprepared Peter was for this trip.

The boy had multiple road trip playlists and a few sugary treats but that was it. You of course were the one who thought to bring water, healthier snacks, tissues, etc.

Ten minutes into the trip he started diving into his snacks

“PeTeR ItS sEvEn In ThE mOrNiNg you don’t need a fruit roll up!” 

“But Y/N, Spiderman needs his nutrients,” 

“A fRuIt RoLl Up Is NoT nUtRiCiOuS,”

Peter just looked you right in the eye and took another bite of the fruit roll up causing you to lose your fucking marbles

THis boy was going to drive you insane for the next eight hours you just knew it

“Peter why don’t you just put on one of the CD’s you made instead of just singing?” 

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t like my singing?” 

“Peter Parker but put your CD on and sing along to that,”

“Will you sing with me?” 

“I don’t know? Is ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ on this playlist of yours?” 

“OH NO!”

“Peter did you actually forget the ultimate road trip song?” 

“Yes. But I can sing it for you,”

You acted annoyed with Peter but less than a minute later you were both singing at the top of your lungs

You pretended to be annoyed with Peter but you really loved him and you were actually having the time of your life

Eventually Peter turned on that playlist of his 

Turns out Don’t Stop Believing was on it

“Oh my god PEter you idiot,” 

“I FoRgOt,”

You and Peter were both idiots who were helplessly in love with each other but didn’t know

You would spend so much time just staring at the boy while he tried to focus on driving

Plot twist he knew you were looking at him

His CHEEKS TURNED BRIGHT RED EVERY TIME

You thought it was the cutest  

You were still singing along loudly to the music.

You would record it and send snaps to Ned saying you missed him  

Ned would always respond with “Bullshit you two need this time to figure everything out,”  

You tried to ask PEter what Ned meant but before Peter could answer he got distracted by a sign that said ‘Niagara Falls 350 miles’

“Peter, that’s still like five hours” 

“BuT wErE gETTING CLOSE” 

“Whatever you say, hon”

You wanting to pull over on the side of the highway to take pictures of all the scenery

“Y/N, we’re never going to make it in time if we don’t keep driving,” 

“In time for what?” 

“Just WE WON’T MAKE IT IN TIME,” 

“But Peter I want to take a picture of you next to that tree,” 

“Y/N,” 

“Peter Parker If you don’t go stand next to that tree so I can take your picture, no more fruit roll ups,” 

“But how will I survive and not starve?” 

“I have apples,” 

Peter still didn’t move

“Peter Benjamin Parker,” 

“Fine!” 

“Thank you! I love you!” 

“Yeah yeah, love you too,” he would mumble,

The picture of Peter turned out with him standing next to the tree with his arms crossed and huge pout on his face

“Peter can you please smile for me?” 

“Why would I smile after you threatened to take away my fruit roll ups?” 

“Because I want to remember this trip! Please, can you just smile for me?”

You know how Peter’s puppy dog eyes are irresistible? Anything you do is irresistible to him.

THIS BOY IS SO WHIPPED FOR YOU, YOU SIMPLY FROWN AND HES DOING EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER

And boy you knew it too

So you frown and Peter loosens his shoulders and lets his arms fall

“No Y/N IM SORRY DON’T BE SAD YES I’LL SMILE,”

You got another picture of Peter with a big smile on his face, pointing at the tree.

“Can we get going now WE HAVE A SCHEDULE” 

“Why is this the first I'm hearing about this schedule?” 

“BEcuase it’s a surprise now get in the car,”

You both climb back In the car and set off again

“Y/N LOOK ONLY 250 MILES NOW” 

“Peter that still three and a half hours,” 

“BUT WE’RE EVEN CLOSER”

At one point you pull off the highway into a small town to get gas

The windows were rolled down and you began sneezing like crazy

“Thank you,” 

“What?” You asked Peter in between sneezes 

“I MEAN BLESS YOU” 

You were hunched over in the passenger seat, laughing your ass off in between your wild sneezes

“Can you please roll up the window Peter clearly I'm allergic to something” 

“fUCK YES SORRY”

When you stopped for gas you wanted to get out and take pictures but you knew you would just sneeze and not get any good pictures so you stayed in the car and took pictures of Peter pumping the gas without him noticing

This boy is so fucking gorgeous and the pictures turned out rather amazing despite how dirty the windows were

AND OF ALL THINGS TO TURN YOU ON PETER PUMPING GAS INTO THE CAR WAS APPARENTLY ONE OF THEM

When Peter got back in the car you were just staring at him

“What?” Peter eventually asked, confused by your staring

“Nothing. You’re just pretty is all,”

YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN PETER’S CHEEKS THAT RED

But of course this loser gained some confidence after he received your compliment

“Well if we’re talking about who’s pretty, then there’s no contest, hands down you’re the most beautiful,” 

“Peterr!” 

“I only speak the truth,” 

“Well you’re sweet spider-boy but it could just be from all the fruit roll up’s you’ve been eating,”

“Also,”

“Also?” 

“You should pump gas more often,” 

“Why….” 

“Cause you kinda looked really hot,” 

“I mean it is July the temperature are rather warm,” 

“Peter Parker you know that’s not what I meant,” 

“I know, I just like teasing you,” 

Not nice,” 

“I mean, I guess my so called hotness while pumping gas would explain why that hot blond was staring at me the entire time,” 

“wHOOO?”

Peter just laughed and didn’t answer you

This fuking boy

When you finally made it to Niagara Falls Peter was flipping excited.

You checked into your motel and then decided to go exploring

“So when do I get to find out what this surprise is?” 

“SOON” 

“Should I be worried?” 

“Shhhh Y/N, it’s a surprise I'm not going to throw you over the falls or anything,”

YOU were extremely suspicious as to what the surprise was

YOu and Peter went to the falls and you spent so long just taking pictures of Peter’s face when he first saw them

He was in absolute awe

You were so fucking in love with this boy

You kindly asked another Person to take a few pictures of you and Peter in front of the falls

They smiled and said you two made a cute couple and they snapped a few photos and gave you back your camera

“About that…” 

“About what?” 

“I also think we make a cute couple,” 

“Y/N NO SHHHH YOU’RE GOING TORUIN MY SURPRISE”

You were so confused

Did Peter just tell you to stop revealing your feeling cause IT WOUDL ‘RUIN HIS SURPRISE’

What was this boy up to  

After you spent some more time at the falls Peter dragged you down to the bottom of the falls 

“Peter what are we doing here?” 

“I BOOKED US A TOUR ON MAID OF THE MIST” 

“You did not,” 

“I did,” you smiled and gave Peter a hug.

You had been to Niagara Falls before but you had never gotten the chance to do a boat tour and Peter knew it was always something you wanted to do since you saw the episode of The Office where Jim and Pam got married on one of the boats

You were both given ponchos and you climbed on to the boat

You were kinda sad you couldn’t take your camera out cause you didn’t want to get it wet.

“So this was only half of the surprise,” Peter said 

“What? There’s more?”

Peter turned to you and just

HES SO FUCKING CUTE HIS HAIR WAS GETTING WET SO HIS CURLS WERE FLOPPY BUT THEY WERE ALL OVER THE PLACE AND UGH HES ADORABLE

“I’m in love with you,”

YOU WERE BLOWN AWAY YOU DIND’T FUCKING KNOW THIS BOY HAD ANYTHING BUT PLATONIC FEELINGS FOR YOU

“Are you serious Peter cause If you’re just fucking with me thats not very nice and you know I love you so I really hope you’re not messing with me cau-

Peter cut you off with a kiss

Usually you’d be mad if someone did that but Peter Parker was kissing you on fucking Maid of the Mist of all places and it didn’t seem to matter in that moment

“I love you too, you nerd,”

Peter had this big goofy grin on his face and you just smiled and went to kiss him again.

It was a long ass eight hour drive to Niagara Falls but it was totally worth it.