#sorry it took me so long to answer I haven't been online a lot

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

why are people so against oliver and ryan talking about buddie, don't we want this, don't we want buddie to be canon? i'm sorry are we rooting for buck to end up with tommy or something, like I don't understand why so many people are saying stop asking them about buddie?

If we want Buddie then shouldn't we be asking buddie questions? I mean I'm so sorry but I'm just very confused, shouldn't we be happy that buddie is getting this much press and love? Why are we against it?

Okay, this is going to be a long one.

There are a few reasons why people are concerned about publications teasing Buddie happening and using the ship name and asking Oliver and Ryan about the ship. I'll try to be as concise as possible.

I would like to note, I'm not going to answer a bunch of questions about this. Other people have answered similar questions plenty of times, if you take a bit to look around 911blr. I'm sure @catdadeddie has gone into this a few times.

However, I understand that we are getting a lot of new fans this season, and so I want to try and explain comprehensively for those who haven't been around. I hope this covers everything.

Whenever a ship is between two people of the same gender as opposed to two people of the opposite gender (I know, I know, but we can't get into the gender spectrum right now just play along with me), everyone involved has to be very, very careful when it comes to talking about that ship ahead of said ship going canon.

It is very easy to slip into something called "queerbaiting." I'm assuming that you and most people online and in fandom by now have heard of this term but just in case: queerbaiting is when a show acts like a queer ship might happen in marketing and promotion in order to draw in a queer audience.

Historically, this was done by having a main character played by a woman have a romantic thing with another woman (flirting, even kissing!) who was a guest star, hinting at the main character's bisexuality/queerness, only for that guest star to never come back and for the show to act like it had never happened. This was done during something called, IIRC, "sweeps week" which was basically an important week for TV viewer ratings in the 90s. It was a way to boost your numbers by drawing in queer viewers with the promise of actual queer rep that then wasn't realized. It's a marketing tactic.

Nowadays the nature of queerbaiting has changed a bit. It's an overused term that frankly people love to (mis)use whenever a ship of theirs doesn't go canon and a show dares to do things like having two people (like say Ryan and Oliver) who play the two halves of the ship do an interview together (whether you ship Buddie or not, they are close friends, and it makes sense that they'd do a few interviews together - that is not queerbaiting). A good example of real queerbaiting is Rizzoli & Isles which, among other things, took out billboards and magazine spreads showing the characters (two women) in suggestively sexual and romantic positions and with slogans hinting that the two had more than just friendship together, then never, ever delivered on it and in fact laughed at the idea of the characters being gay for each other.

(I WAS THERE, GANDALF!!!)

Because of this unfortunate treatment of queer audiences and the (historic) dearth of actual queer characters and queer ships going canon (it's getting better but still), networks, showrunners, and so on have to be very careful when, say, they want to make a queer ship canon.

Look at how ABC handled Chenford, a popular ship in their show The Rookie. Chenford was not a planned ship - the fans adored the chemistry between the two characters (Lucy Chen and Tim Bradford), the writers liked the idea and decided to lean into it, ABC gave the go-ahead, and the ship officially got together and went canon last season. ABC heavily promoted Chenford and the ship and made a lot of jokes about it in the last couple of seasons leading into the ship going canon, using the ship heavily in their marketing.

ABC cannot necessarily do that with Buddie, because even if Buddie is going canon, until that happens, they could get accused of queerbaiting. There's a much bigger minefield to navigate because of this historic misuse of queer audiences and queer characters.

So whenever journalists and publications use a popular non-canonical queer ship name for clicks and fandom interest, if that ship doesn't immediately go canon or if the network/showrunner/etc doesn't say "yeah they're totally gonna kiss! with tongue!" people accuse the show of queerbaiting. This is unfair to the show for two reasons: one, the network is not going to bother sending "shut the fuck up" letters to every single damn publication out there for using a ship name in their headline and talking about a ship - they'll be accused of homophobia and it draws even MORE attention to the issue re: the Barbra Streisand effect (look it up); and two, the people involved in the show are NOT going to spoil the anticipation and surprise by admitting ANY ship is going to go canon before it does.

This is simple marketing - the movie trailer doesn't (or shouldn't, anyway) show you the ending of the movie or everything that happens in it. TV shows want you to tune in every week and speculate and guess. They're not gonna spoil a ship ahead of time.

This means that when journalists and articles pull this shit, they're putting the showrunner, the writers, the actors doing interviews, and the network in a bad situation that they can't really do anything about. Not without causing more mess.

So that's reason number one why a lot of us are annoyed: by yelling about Buddie, these articles and journalists are setting the cast and crew we love up to get yelled at for queerbaiting if Buddie doesn't immediately happen, and there's nothing the cast and crew can do about it, and it's all so the journalists and articles can use us, the fandom, for clicks. So we're also kinda getting used here, and it doesn't feel great.

The second reason we're annoyed about Buddie questions is that it's being asked of the actors who, nine times out of ten, have ZERO CONTROL OVER THE STORYLINES.

Now, there are exceptions. Jennifer Love Hewitt, who plays Maddie, has pushed back on a couple storylines that were given to her and has therefore had a strong hand in shaping Maddie's character. One infamous (in a positive way) example is that Maddie and Eddie were supposed to be an endgame couple. JLH, however, immediately loved the character of Chimney and clicked with Chim's actor Kenneth Choi, so she asked if Maddie could get with Chim instead, feeling he'd be a better fit for her character. And lo, both the beautiful ship Madney and the insanity that is Buddie shipping was born because Buck ended up stepping into that co-parenting-Chris role that Maddie obviously would've originally filled.

However, it should be noted that JLH was an established star before coming onto 9-1-1, and her husband is friends with Tim the showrunner. I would argue that the only other two actors who have any power on their storylines are Peter and Angela, the latter because she can do whatever she wants forever, and the former because (like Angela) he is an executive producer on the show.

It's not that actors never ever get to have a say ever, but the writers, showrunner, and network have much more power. They create the storylines, they make the decisions. Not actors. So when the actors are repeatedly asked about a ship, they're put in an awkward position where they might not even know the full storyline for their character that season and now they need to answer in a way that doesn't reveal any information they do know, but also doesn't insult shippers or dash their hopes. This is a double minefield for queer ships because, again: historic insults to queer fans and characters, nobody wants to be offensive.

The third reason is that this fandom has, historically, treated Tim, Oliver, and others like absolute dogshit over Buddie not going canon. Oliver's left Twitter and taken big social media breaks because of how he was yelled at online. It's not cool, guys. Vent all you want but directing it at the cast and crew isn't okay and maybe if it was just you talking sternly that would be fine (maybe) but when it's dozens of people? It's bullying. Full stop.

Every single time Buddie has not gone canon instantly, the actors and others have gotten verbally abused on social media. Every time the actors have been asked about Buddie and not said "ohmygod yes I want it to happen so bad" (they are not allowed to say this because it might create false hope because again: historical queerbaiting) they've gotten yelled at. We are tired of the actors getting yelled at over something over which they have no control.

The fourth reason is that Oliver, especially, has gotten asked about Buddie a LOT. A lot. The poor man is very tired. He's been cornered about Buddie and asked about it aggressively by certain journalists (one journalist, Max Gao, actually tried to corner Gavin who plays Chris over Buddie - this was a few years ago so Gavin was even younger than he is now and I personally think that is an incredibly unfairly loaded question to give to a child).

If I may dive into speculation for a moment, given how the actors have been SO gleeful about the move to ABC, the fact that they've admitted ABC is letting them do storylines and little moments that FOX wouldn't, and a few other things I won't get into here because this damn thing is long enough already... I suspect FOX would not let Buddie happen. If this is the case, then actors being asked about Buddie is even more loaded because they are being asked questions about it and they can't say "yeah we want to but the network won't let us." THEY WILL GET FIRED FOR THIS.

But, whether or not my speculation is true, the fact remains that when you are repeatedly, over and over, aggressively asked if this fan ship is going to happen or not, you get tired. There's only so many times that someone can give a diplomatic answer before you just want to snap "stop fucking asking me!" Journalists love to take advantage of fandom and social media chatter to get attention for their articles so asking over and over again about Buddie isn't because they genuinely care or think it'll happen, it's to get shippers reading their article, and so bombarding the actors and writers with this question when they've already kinda said their peace a lot about it is frustrating. Just! Leave them alone!

And AGAIN: if this was a M/F ship there could maybe be room for teasing the will-they-won't-they but because of historically bad treatment of queer characters and fans, THEY CANNOT DO THAT. So the only option open to them is to KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT. And keeping one's mouth shut and threading that diplomatic needle for years is EXHAUSTING.

We do want Buddie to be canon, nonny, and in my opinion we are going to get it. All this recent PR supports that, (again: in my opinion).

However, we have seen Oliver get bombarded with what he thinks about Buddie until the cows come home, and he deserves a break. There's nothing new he can say, there's nothing new he's allowed to say. We have seen other parts of the fandom scream that we're being queerbaited because Buddie didn't instantly go canon, without any consideration for the fact that a) queerbaiting is a marketing tactic and b) there might be other factors at play preventing it going canon. We have seen journalists take advantage of us, the shippers, in order to get attention, and we have seen them create an awkward and embarrassing atmosphere in interviews by repeatedly asking about the ship. We have seen shippers make us look bad by hounding the cast and crew on social media about Buddie, treating every woman actress who plays a Buck/Eddie love interest like shit (yes, I know about Edy, but she could be a saint and parts of the fandom would still go onto Instagram to call her names), and generally being absolute pills that would tempt any showrunner, actor, or writer to say "y'know what fuck 'em let's not make Buddie canon I'm not rewarding this shitty behavior."

"If we want Buddie then shouldn't we be asking Buddie questions?" No. Not like journalists and fans have been. It's something to bring up - in my opinion - sparingly and with an awareness of how queer storylines and ships and fandom have been mocked, ignored, baited, and so on over the years. They don't ask about Buddie because they give a shit. They ask because they want our clicks for their ad revenue and they want our retweets and likes and comments. And it's certainly not something to bombard the actors with on social media and bitch at them if it doesn't happen. It just makes the rest of fandom look bad and makes us look like children.

Additionally: These are not new questions! They're not only asking these questions now that it looks like Buddie will go canon, with serious hope and consideration based on the marketing and storylines. They've been asking this since season fucking two, when Buddie was clearly not planned, just to get fangirl (gn) clicks. They wanted to get attention and teehee over how Oliver/Ryan/whoever reacted to people thinking Buck and Eddie should touch dicks. 'Kay?

We know the pattern. So when every piece of media is screaming BUDDIE!!! we are not seeing it as "OMG could we go canon?" We see it as another round of being taken advantage of for article attention, another round of parts of the fandom being bullies and yelling about being baited, and another round of the actors being backed into uncomfortable corners.

That's why we're concerned, worried, and annoyed.

*collapses* I hope this covered everything and explained it all.

[maythearo]

I kinda accidentally been away :(

When I take a hiatus you'll see I don't announce it beforehand because it usually just happens instead of being a planned thing, so I apologize if I made people worry about me (again) but I'm doing fine! A plethora of things happened in the time being, and I feel like it's relevant to mention them here for some clarity. (I didn't intend to make this post so long, I'll crop here so it's easier to navigate)

First I feel like I have been falling out of love with art as a whole. My interest in a lot of stuff has been fading away, I haven't been keeping up with twst for one, and since a lot of my inspiration comes from the stuff I'm hyperfixating on I barely have been creating anything. My uni assigments so far were uninspired at best lol it sucks my mood relies so much on art and vice versa. The only times I feel actual joy is when I'm hanging out with my friends every now and then, I'm mostly alone through the rest of the week.

And it's with this habit of going out that I fluctuated towards using less social media. I don't think I ever liked having a presence online, and that's something I've been doing since highschool for no reason that matters to me anymore. Just quitting isn't something I can do because first, I think it's important getting my news from it; and second, I still want to do commissions, and I'm aiming to turn my socials into something more professional in the near future, rather than the life diary that I had a tendency of building them as. Of course there's nothing wrong with making socials a personal thing, it's just not my style, and with my anxiety of being perceived I realized I can only handle so much of it lol

I also had some personal losses, and it feels like a lot of people around me were having a hard time with theirs coincidentally, so that made me kinda sad too. I won't specify much but I think that's worth mentioning.

The tldr is that I'm lost, I don't know how I got here, and I feel like it only gets worse the longer I stand around doing nothing but I prefer to think that sometimes things get worse before they get better, I know they will get better.

I'm writing all of this from the perspective of how I feel at the moment, the conclusions I'm taking with this kinda depressive state of mind, so I imagine things can still change once I begin to feel brighter again, who knows.

Thank you for everyone who left kind messages on my askbox after all this time, idk if I can reply to all individually but I did read them and I appreciate them very much! I hope everyone is doing well too and staying safe.

And on a side note I'm sorry to the people who asked other things related to my art/blog way before I took this break, I wanted to answer them in a fun way but they've gathered too much dust by now and my inspiration is long gone. I think I'll be cleaning up my askbox since the longer I leave it unnatended the more overwhelmed it makes me feel 😥 I messed it up this time I admit, I apologize again to everyone I kept waiting.

I have a few old drawings I haven't shared here yet, maybe I'll post them if I manage to remember it :)

[combines]

hello again!! as someone who comes from the 2020 fandom resurgence I am. SO SORRY. that happened a lot unfortunately. yeah we did NOT know how to act early on (ToT). I had the vibe it was a lot of people's first online fandoms.

the ship with two guys in it being dubbed butter pecan because of something something 'a lot of nuts' is again, so, so funny. Thank you for enlightening me on this, I know it's probably wild to be asked about this stuff like a decade after. This is like honestly a bit of a mystery in the fandom so it's insane finding out the source!! A real miracle the person who coined it so long ago is still active on tumblr

And speaking, it is and was INSANELY hard to dig for any 'fandom history' or even just any sort of Old post on here and I hate it.

another little question if that's okay- I'd assume that seeing the change in reception to freemance and freehoun kinda swapping around must've been bizarre as an older fan considering this was a fandom for a fps game in the early 2000's-early 2010's, in my head the vibes were kinda reversed where freemance was the big ship and freehoun was less well received by most

hiii again!!! i'm so sorry it took me a few days to answer this sdkfsmdk

i think it's super funny because both half-life: alyx and hlvrai came out within weeks of each other so you had this sort of resurgence on here of old fans returning/posting and getting excited for alyx and then a huge wave of people getting into hl in general because of the audience that hlvrai introduced. personally, i still haven't watched hlvrai because it doesn't really seem like my thing, but i'm still glad that there were so many people who enjoyed it to the point where they actually ended up playing and loving the games too!!

freemance definitely was the big ship on tumblr back in the day so yes it was very interesting to see that reversal!!!! honestly i don't think i was on tumblr too much during that time where hlvrai/freehoun really took off, and so the drama surrounding ship wars or whatever was mentioned to me secondhand. 2020 was just like the worst year of my life for personal reasons, as i'm sure for a lot of people, and i can't remember really any of it tbh LOL but you've got nothing to apologize for! i think you're definitely right, it seemed like a first fandom for many people, and that generally skewed younger. i think (hope) it's a better now at least!

tumblr's tagging/tracking/search is HORRIBLE i completly understand. i still think tumblr is the best place for fandom centralized stuff (pictures, art, gifs, etc) and until there's a new platform that does it better, i'll probably still be here, if super sporadically!

if you are interested in uncovering past hl fandom posts or just looking to follow some great people, i've tagged just some that were active in the hl fandom back in the day!!! :') i'm sure they wouldn't mind if you combed their archive looking for hl stuff/shitposts <3

@mbelyakova @littlewitchbee @temunade2 @loplins @angels-heap @anndromedea @skellagirl @bioticbear @cortnan @duamuteffe @protokol @cerviceps @axiolotl @clodiuspulcher @caramujotan @drgertiefremontphd @jauffre @owligator @saikkunen @utopianoverlord @failssafe @brogineer

[bekkathyst]

Hello! I just found your foraging videos and feel HUGELY inspired. 😍 Could you recommend any other blogs or resources about foraging? Even if it's not specific to my area (eastern-ish North America), just seeing what's out there would be an enormous help! 🥰✨

Hey! I'm so sorry it took me so long to answer this! I meant to do it way sooner but it slipped my mind.

I have a ton of recs though!

First of all, buying field guides about your specific region is a massive help! (But something I feel the need to warn about is if you're buying one from Amazon, just google the author first and make sure they're a real person with credentials bc there's been a huge rise in AI-generated garbage being published there and I genuinely think it's going to kill someone one day)

But since books with walls of text and scientific words can be intimidating, I think the best way to begin to learn and kind of just dip your toes into the foraging world is by learning from educators online! (Especially if you're a more visual learner like I am!)

Here are some of my favorites who are either US-based and/or whose content is in English. You can find these people on TikTok and most of them on Instagram and Facebook as well. Some also have books published!

Alexis Nikole aka BlackForager TikTok | Instagram

Samuel Thayer TikTok | Website

Gabrielle Cerberville aka ChaoticForager / Mushroom Auntie TikTok | Instagram

Whitney Johnson aka Appalachian_Forager TikTok | Instagram

Gordon Walker aka FacinatedbyFungi TikTok | Instagram

Jess Starwood (I took one of her mushroom classes when I lived in California and it was amazing! We even had a mushroom-centric feast in the forest at the end. She has a book about mushrooms out that I've been meaning to buy but I haven't had the chance yet) Instagram | Website

I feel like I'm forgetting some so I'll reblog with updates when I think of them!

Now that being said - when talking about foraging I want to note that it's important to listen to and follow the wisdom of the people indigenous to the land you're living on. They're always going to be the most knowledgeable about the land and how to protect it. Also if you can find a list or resource about which plants in your area are endangered and off-limits, it's good to have that handy.

And finally! You can check out my TikTok for more of my videos, if you enjoy them and like the perspective of a regular-schmegular person just foraging the things that are traditional to the area they're in and learning more as they go :) I'm finding that a lot of what I forage here in Austria is really similar to things you can find on the east coast of the US. I'm also going to launch my Patreon this week where I will have recipes, some foraging videos, and more stuff crystal-related (which is actually what I'm known for on here) haha!

I hope this helps! I think a lot of people feel overwhelmed when they first want to get into foraging but it's so human and normal and starting small and working your way up is the way to go. At the end of the day, it's all just knowledge that you accumulate over a long period of time!

[genderqueerdykes]

lately I've been like poking my head into transfem spaces because Gender. even if I felt welcomed in the micro-communities I was dragged into before I started actually purposely tryin to enter transfem spaces, I feel kind of alienated as I'm not a trans woman. or girl. or whatever term that references the gender of female. I'm just. feminine. genderqueer. and it's a little upsetting as it's taking me so long to stop rejecting myself even just this tiny bit to look up transfem tags, but it feels like every single post is targeted towards women and girls, not so much the genderqueer transfems. would you know any spaces or online places that focus on transfem stuff, but doesn't use it to be a synonym for trans woman? I'm also not attracted to women or women adjacent people so it's tough in that some posts will be welcoming of my transfem.. type? but then it's a lesbian or sapphic post, which I am not. just wanting to find more people like meeee

i'm sorry it took so long to get around to answering this, i didn't see this ask until now!

that's actually a great question- i'm sorry you feel a bit alienated, i actually relate a lot in that i've wanted more spaces for transmasculine & transfeminine genderqueer and nonbinary people, but i haven't really found places that suit the bill, most spaces as you said are for trans men, or trans women. but you're right, there are loads of people out there who feel like you (and me!) who would love to meet others.

there are a lot of other transfeminine genderqueer & non binary folks out there, would anyone be able to point this anon to anywhere they could potentially go? i don't have anywhere off the top of my head, but if i find a community, i'll let you know! good luck until then!

[oleander-nin]

Rahhh I'm back!!!! Hi hello awesome new writing thingy, very cool, I get giddy(that's such a fun word) when you post. I had a point to this ask and got distracted whoops(；・∀・)!

ANYWAY, I was thinking as I occasionally do and I like noticed a pattern overall theme I don't really know what to call it. In Sleepy's last ask, I think it was, they said something about taking normal love songs and sorta twisting the meaning, which fits so well with overall yandere stuff. (This whole ramble is from the perspective of someone who only is familiar with platonic love because romantic love just isn't something I'm capable of experiencing so don't mind that(III╥_╥⁠)) Love is something that's typically treated as inherently pure, if someone wants to show that a villain is redeemable or at least has some humanity it's pretty common to give them someone they love. Even just looking at their motives in a vacuum they're all positive, all of them want to keep their S/O safe and happy, and wanting to date them is fine too, I think most people would like to date their crush. It's only when you factor in the actions they actually take to actually achieve "helping" the person they love are a lot less nice, and that's what makes yandere such an interesting horror genre it's the same reason little kids are freaky in horror movies and some third example, it takes something we think of as good and makes it not. It's also why the characters can rationalize their choices they don't *want* to hurt their S/O they're just trying to help obviously, they don't need other people anyway their S/O only deserves the best for them and that's what they could be.

On another note, I also realized that I had not listed what would make the turtles snap I did reasons they would actually turn yandere which is technically different. I'm not going to do it correctly because its kinda limited to, their S/O getting hurt, thinking they'll lose their S/O, or some trauma or underlying mental condition. The first two are kinda bare and I am not touching any mental stuff because that takes hella research and I don't wanna accidentally do negative stereotypes.

-🍰

HI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I HAVEN'T BEEN ONLINE MUCH FDNAJVNFKJANVD;

I agree with just about every point in you horror-love rant, because I think this is what draws me to yandere works so much lol. I like twisting emotions and actions into something more horrific(in fiction), just because it's fun to see what you can do with these base emotions.

Sorry I don't have much to say, I loved reading your analysis and once again, I'm so sorry this took so long for me to answer. I got your second ask, and I appreciate the clarification, but it wasn't needed much imo lol. Hope you have a great day and are doing well, thanks for stopping by!

[skywalking-through-life]

Much delayed, but for the truth-or-dare ask game: 🍓🥑🥤🧃 (🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷)

My friend! 💙💙💙💙💙

These are such good ones, omg. Sorry in advance for the word vomit, lolol

🍓 - How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Okay, so I've kind of been writing fic in my head (and sometimes in notebooks/random word documents) since I was about 8 years old, and I first realized that 'writing stories' was 1) a thing ANYONE could do, and also, sometimes, 2) a job that required refined skills, lol. When you're a kid you're told (if you're lucky) that you can do anything that you put your mind to, and little Sky loved stories more than most other things, so I couldn't imagine doing something with the rest of my life that didn't involve them! So I started practicing. The first fanfic I ever wrote was in a journal, and it was only a few pages long because I did not have great penmanship and was impatient with own slowness, lol. I'm fairly certain I was embarrassed by my efforts and threw them out. For a long time I wrote elaborate stories in my head instead, and didn't start actually doing the (MUCH harder) work of putting them on paper until high school. But I was also having a complex at that point in my life around acceptability/popularity and anxiety around being perceived as a nerd, so I was way too terrified to tell anyone I was writing it. And then I was so disillusioned by the meanness that I saw in online fandom spaces that it still took years before I got up the courage to post any of it publicly! I've had an ao3 account for the past decade, and was a lurker for a good five years before that, but I didn't start posting my own work until just under two years ago. That ought to say something, I think. 💀

🥑 - you accidentally killed someone, which mutal(s) do you text for help?

LOL, heaven forbid I ever find myself in this situation, but if so...honestly probably you, lmao, and some other folks on here that I don't think have ever been involved in crimes, but are otherwise competent, functioning adults who don't shy away from difficult/grey situations - at least in fiction, lol. @60sec400 @darkmagyk @phykios @deerlie-main , I hope you are not insulted by this. 💀

🥤- recommend an author or fanfic you love

I just did this the other week - and apparently y'all really needed recs, wow! - so I'm kind of wracking my brain here to rec something I haven't already recommended recently...there are a LOT of good options to choose from! I guess I'll go with 'percy jackson and the scrutiny of his coworkers', which is an absolutely BRILLIANT outsider pov fic by pqrker on ao3. It's popular for a reason, and the reason being that it is perfect. 🥹

🧃- share some personal lore you've never posted about before

Ooooo, hmm, what to pick, what to pick...hmm, okay, I'll go with this. A segue from my first answer, lol. I was nominated for Homecoming Queen in high school, and was the first runner up, so - hilariously - became the Homecoming Princess. It was my teen movie Cinderella-story moment, because I had always been the shy nerd in the back of the classroom, but then all of a sudden was in a fancy dress on the football field getting a crown and wondering what parallel universe and/or Taylor Swift song I'd just fallen into. And weirdly enough, knowing that I hadn't done anything special to be nominated - that people had just liked me - went a long way towards me being able to accept myself more holistically. Maybe if they liked me enough for that, I could like me enough to try and see what they saw, you know? It was years ago now, but it is a fond and bizarre memory, and was very helpful to a confused and anxious 17 year old! 😅

You may have gotten more than you planned with this ask, lol, but thank you for asking, my friend. 💙

[angelpuns]

man I have not sent a rant in awhile. So here's another! I've been noticing a lot of people haven't been having the best day, and that's upsetting, so just in case you are, have another rant! Ever since becoming Ranting Anon i've met so many more people and it's been amazing, and that's all thanks to you! Simply being nice and sending stuff to you has made my online experience so much better and you deserve all the praise and thanks and love in the world. I hope you know I wholeheartedly think you're one of the best people on this website and you deserve everything this world has to offer you, I hope you have an amazing Halloween and week and month and year, every single update to your comic has made me and I imagine so many other people so undeniably happy. <3333 much love from RA.

I think this was from yesterday, sorry it took so long to answer <33333 you know I love ya ra /p

WHAT IF I CRIED THO WAAAAAAA

You're always so nice to me ;-; everyone on this site is so nice and I can't fathom how I got to be lucky enough to interact with so many nice people ;-;

I wish I had more to say but as always I'm literally speechless ｡°(°´ᯅ`°)°｡

[antirqrin]

(there will be a lot of personal rambling, you don't have to answer or read this anon ask at all, you can linger with answer as long as you need or just ignore and delete /gen)

hello, i hope this is not violating of your dni, but i am radqueer who considering leaving this community, and i really feel very lost and have no idea what to do

i am adult, but i rather still in mindset of a minor, and if rq community truly is as horrible as antis say, then this is unsafe place for me. nothing bad happened with me so far, i haven't been groomed or abused, i just not sure if staying in rq spaces will be safe for me. i met many people i like to hang around, got much acceptance and positivity, and it's hard to give up everything i've got. i almost stopped logging in my rq account, but i still have the urge to "come back" and remain active. how to leave/convince myself to leave, if it's mandatory? is being ex-radqueer still shameful? i afraid that i won't be accepted anywhere like i was accepted in this community, and this is the main reason why i am so hesitant

(sorry for messy text and thank you for reading this rambling /gen)

Just wanna start out my response with the fact that, even if you can't leave right away, you are SO SO brave for even CONSIDERING leaving the radqueer community. I applaud, and many others do too.

I know it can be hard to leave. We had those urges to go back when we did this too, but I promise it gets better. My advice might not be the best, but what we did when we decided fully to leave and were still having those urges to go back, was change the password of your radqueer account to some gibberish that you won't remember if you aren't deactivating the account entirely yet. Being an ex radqueer is NOT shameful, and in fact, it's honestly more of an "I survived" mark, for us at least. Even if you aren't going to be active in the anti radqueer community, there are other spaces where you're welcome and that are just as inclusive of other identities as the radqueer community is. I recommend, if you need spaces that are inclusive, r/XenogendersandMore on reddit! They're a very inclusive, but not radqueer, space. It's xenogender focused, but everyone is welcome there.

If you are having genuine, or just general, concerns for your safety then you are making the right decision, trust me. Leaving before anything bad happens to you is one of the best things you can do in these situations. I'm relatively new to being an active anti-radqueer, so I don't have the best advice, but I can offer some more of what we personally did to convince ourselves to leave. You're welcome to DM us anytime if you need more advice, but what we did involves looking to other people. Find friends who aren't radqueer, or are anti, start joining communities like servers and such that are anti radqueer and make friends, surround yourself with things that AREN'T radqueer until you realize that you don't need those radqueer spaces. I know it's hard to give up everything you had, and it is, but it's honestly not always like that. Build new things first so that you won't be dependent on those things you had, them cut them out.

And there are spaces where you will be accepted, don't worry. They might take a bit of building. I had to curate my online experience and tailor it to see just the right positivity, and it took time, but I promise you. IT DOES PAY OFF SO WELL. It really does.

It gets better.

Thanks for reaching out, and again you're welcome to dm us if you need or want to. Leaving is hard, and you might not achieve it right away. But it truly is amazing and the right thing to do if you to attempt to leave. Sorry if my response was a bit long, and best of luck leaving the radqueer community. I know you can ❤️🧡💛���💙💜

[manhasetardis]

Eight TV Shows to Get To Know Me

Rules: list eight shows for your followers to get to know you.

@thedoubteriswise tagged me. Thanks Selena! 💛 (and sorry this took me so long). thinking of 8 shows for this was hard

Morangos Com Açúcar - this was a portuguese teen drama that was on from the time I was 5/6 until I was 15. sort of like degrassi and then in later seasons like glee. there was a new episode every single day. so it was almost a decade of watching a new episode every day. i'm sure it ruined my brain. the show is awful, the writing is terrible, the acting is shit, and i absolutely loved it. everyone was obsessed with it, teachers and media were always talking about how much it influenced kids. it caused an episode of mass hysteria in portugal in 2006 called the "morangos com açucar virus" where the students in the show got sick with an unknown disease and portuguese kids from hundreds of different schools started developing the same symptoms. most portuguese actors started their career on this show. there were concerts, theater shows, a movie, and the soundtrack cds still smell like strawberries. unfortunately, there will be an amazon prime remake premiering this month.

Grey's Anatomy - a show that I started watching too young. it premiered when I was 8 and I think I started watching it the following year. I was obsessed with it and unfortunately I still watch it. it became worse after Cristina left. it still means a lot to me.

House MD - another show I definitely started watching too young.shouldn't have been allowed to watch this as a child. still remember watching the finale when it aired. it's called hate crimes md for a reason. this whole show messed with my brain so much. it scarred me. throughout med school professors kept bringing it up.

Doctor Who - i mean, it's sci-fi with shitty effects, great acting, some amazing stories and it made me cry a lot. what more can i ask? i think i started watching this in high school and binged watched the first 4 seasons in 4 or 5 days. (i still haven't finished watching Jodie's run tho). will probably always be one of my favorite shows.

How I Met Your Mother - i was obsessed with this show when it aired, haven't really thought about it since it ended. still sthink i had to inlclude it.

Good Omens - i loved crowley and aziraphale from the book. the show was made specifically to mess with me. it has david tennant and michael sheen.

The Untamed/CQL - insane show! it's perfect. i watched it at one of the craziest times in my life (pandemic + studying for the final exam of med school that will determine which specialties you can choose). it might have saved me a little. has amazing fanfic. epic romance. yibo and xz. I have to thank my mutuals for putting this show on my dash, I never would've watched it otherwise.

BBC Sherlock - I love this show and always will. in a lot of ways it saved my life. it's a great show with great writing and acting. insane times to be online! some great experiences with the tjlcitas. probably the show that influenced my life the most.

Anyone feel free to do this if you like, I'd love to see your answers 💛💛 I'm tagging @devoursjohnlock @thepineapplering @slimegargoyle @nondeducible @melatovnik @thegeyison @widowsisa2018heistfilm @thealogie @garkgatiss @victorianpining @kinklock

[archivalofsins]

I am really behind when it comes to tag games. I haven't been consistently online recently. So, I'm playing catch up with this and asks.

I don't remember if I answered this one because it was a while back like almost a month back but thanks for tagging me @rainbowghostcat! Hope you're doing well.

Last Song: Summer Good Kid

Favorite Color: I like earth tones when it comes to decorating. My favorite colors to wear are blue, black, red, pink, yellow, and orange. Usually light or muted colors. All time favorite color is any variation of blue though.

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: Savory.

Last TV Show: Revolutionary Girl Utena. Star and I just finished watching it.

Last Film: I haven't watched a movie in a minute.

Last Thing I Looked Up Online: Chrry Picking Fallacy.

Current Obsession: I'm mellowing out on a lot of stuff currently. Though my passion for Code Geass was stirred again due to watching Utena.

Anyone who wants to can do this! Sorry if this took a long time to reply to by the way.

[ultfreakme]

Do you agree if said that Megumi and Tsumiki are "toxic doom siblings" (like wei wuxian, jiang yanli and jiang cheng from MDZS)?

Also, I'm surprised your fav MXTX is SVSSS (I thought it will be MDZS). I always think that most people love to dismiss SVSSS and said that it's not as serious or deep as MDZS & TGCF (but I still love SVSSS the most). So happy when I find other people who also love SVSSS.....

For me

Best MXTX protagonist : Wei Wuxian

Best MXTX male lead : Luo Binghe

Best MXTX couple : Hua Cheng/ Xie Lian

Overall story and best comfort read : SVSSS

How about you, Riki? (Sorry if I'm wrong in calling you, I did not mean to be rude, it's just in the end if every 'ask' you wrote : Riki ask)

Also sorry for this long ask....

Hi Anon! I'm answering this in reverse order a bit hehe. I go by Riki it's not rude at all dw dw! No need to apologize for asks, long or short, I'm grateful someone wants to interact with me and talk about shared interests <3

Megumi and Tsumiki being toxic siblings...hmm....idk if toxic is the word I'd use to describe them but there definitely were a lot of issues. Primarily because I think their ideals on life clashed. Tsumiki is someone who wanted to be nice to everyone, but Megumi can't afford that, he's a lot more practical about what kindness and helping people means because of his reality as a sorcerer. Megumi's convinced that she's faking her kindness or is trying too hard.

I don't think Tsumiki is totally faking it, I think she is a genuinely nice person but like every teenager, likes messing around and isn't perfect. Potentially, she's trying to live up to what she preaches and is having a hard time.

I think a lot of the conflict is teenage angst and him being a little brother. She's the only constant in his life, he may have took that a little for granted and when she got cursed it brought into sharp relief the differences in their reality of being a sorcerer and non-sorcerer. No he's the one who has to protect her and he's been left alone. It's easier to probably harbor resentment for her doing something as 'stupid' as getting cursed than confront that their relationship wasn't on the best terms when she fell into a coma and there's no way for him to fix it anymore.

It had a lot of potential to have gotten better if Tsumiki remained, or if she came back any time that wasn't the Culling Games and they got to grow up together. But alas....It's less toxic and more "bad timing".

Also SVSSS fav???? They're so rare to find right? Omg yes!!!

I've only read SVSSS and MDZS, I haven't gotten around to TGCF but my irl friend and everyone online says it's the best one. I'm just intimidated by how long it is. I might get around to to it someday but who knows.

SVSSS is definitely less deeper than the other two but it's got its own charms. I know in terms of everything it's lesser but idk, the potential and the meta story is really intriguing. The extra chapters changed my entire perspective on so many characters (Shen Jiu my guy you had so much potential I am sorry).

Also hmmmm I haven't really thought about them in terms of like, best protagonist, best couple, best male lead.....If I really had to rank then:

Best Protagonist: Wei Wuxian, novel version especially. He's a lot more flawed and genuinely devious in a lot of place in there. I love his arrogance and his confidence.

Best Male Lead: Luo Binghe. Pathetic man, horribly evil. I love you king.

Best Couple: Mobei-jun/Shang Qinghua tied with Yue Qingyuan/Shen Jiu

I like side couples and rarepairs that have no content I hate my life why do I do this to myself? MoShang;s dynamic when it focuses on SQH being MBJ's creator and in many ways, equally powerful or more powerful than him is fun. YQY and SJ are so tragic like, love toxic doomed yaoi.

[flockrest]

mun(day) questions / @sentinaels, @vigilantdesert, & @stygicniron

thank you lots for these! ♡ very fun to think about and answer! all under the cut because it's a doozy. i am not a concise person, what can i say :'D

when did you first start writing?

in the roleplaying context, ten years ago ( half of which i took a hiatus for aslfkjsdl )! core memory, no joke, i can still very keenly remember weird details of the day it all started. as a hobby, this started way back before i even hit secondary school! i was not an objectively good writer, but no tween really is. i had lots of fun and all the cringefail phases i've gone through since have helped me get to where i am now in my writing development — i can at least say i'm happy with where i'm at with that! and i'm still having fun! ♡

in what language did you start writing?

online? english....my beloathed. very ironic, i know aslkfjdsl

if your mother tongue is not the language you write now, what caused you to switch languages?

quite honestly for the engagement! then simply because i feel i got better at writing in english than i could in vietnamese — my education for both differed, especially in my adolescent years, and i've practiced literacy in this context more for english than i have for viet.

i am still very insecure about my grasp of english in online spaces though ( my writing process involves a lot of me searching up even the simplest words to ensure their meaning and that they will convey what i want you to feel, i still forget words or mix phrases up — sorry to my dm buddies when this happens btw — and my editing is so time-consuming because i have to often cut things or rephrase them to avoid being redundant ), which is why i have that it's my second language disclaimer alfjslfk

what was the first muse that you’ve written?

my first ever muse was my lovely queen zelda from twilight princess! she saw me through a lot of my roleplaying firsts, honestly. she still holds such a special place in my heart because of all the experiences writing her allowed me to make, as well as all the wonderful people i befriended through her that i still haven't forgotten about to this day!

( i always find myself missing one in particular when the mood hits, because we were years-long mains during what felt like the peak of the zelda rpc prime and she was as close to an exclusive affiliate i'd ever get. i hope you've been doing super well out there, my liege!! if we ever somehow get to writing again, y'all will just not be ready for my unhinged status over her link, and my zelda, and the midzelink we've crafted entire worlds over, and that is a promise aflkjdsj )

do you still write your first muse?

unfortunately, no! i have dipped in and out with her before, but i don't know if i'll ever return to her now when i've got so many others wrangling for my time and energy...i think i would like to if i got the opportunity to regularly write with twilight princess muses again :) zelda was a more character-contained muse, in that i studied less of the world-lore around her and more of her, her dynamics, and her relationships, so activity would be very slow and pretty contingent on level of interest from others aslkfdjf

what caused you to start writing? what was your key point?

okay. don't laugh at me please. i'm pretty sure this is a connecting point for a few of us. but for fanfic purposes, of course asflkjds i started reading fics before i started writing any, and only began doing so because there was such a dearth of the stories that catered specifically to my niche whims and wants that past ray was like "FINE. i'll do it myself"

now, fr, you gotta promise to not laugh at me. the want for a more interactive experience didn't really hit until i discovered tumblr ask blogs, wherein i wanted to have a try at running one myself! then that evolved into more writing than art...then i just leaned into roleplaying wholeheartedly asflkjdf everybody say thank you to artists for inspiring artists!

have you ever written a canon muse that you first thought of ‘meh’ when they appeared in their canon show/movie/book?

not that i can think of, no! i don't tend to pick up muses i don't feel super invested in. if it's meh in the more oh this character SUCKS sense, then i guess. rauru? like i love that funky fellow, or at least huge parts of him that i'll steal from nintendo because man what the fuck were they doing with him, but he seems to be my most polarising muse in terms of audience reception aflksjdla this isn't a dig at anyone for that btw!!

how far do you go with divergencies when it comes to your canon muse?

as far as it'll take for me to be satisfied with them! this ofc differs with every muse, but i try to keep general characterisations unchanged — or at least the parts of them that stand out to me and feel crucial to who my muses are.

e.g. i ignored the entirety of the hidden world when it came to writing toothless from httyd, because its depiction of his behaviour ( and hence, implicated thoughts ) was so extremely Bad Tier, i was flabbergasted that it came from the same writer as httyd2. there was, imo, such a huge gap between the toothless of httyd2 and the toothless of the hidden world in terms of characterisation and character development ( ESPECIALLY with what it did to his bond with hiccup. i'm still infuriated about that ) that i had an entire rewrite where things might've ended the same way, but it would've taken a different road for berk to get there in the works.

that's when canon has disappointed me to the extreme, though aflkdslj i have misgivings about totk, yes, but i doubt you'll be seeing unprompted >2.5k words essays from me regarding my birdies or even rauru ( if only because nintendo didn't give us enough about him to make me feel like they fucked up beyond words ) anytime soon.

with rauru, anyway, it's more of a..."i am construing him differently; you couldn't make him palatable despite clearly wanting to do so, so i'm making him 'palatable' ( in the HE AND HIS FAULTS ARE SO INTERESTING I WANT TO EXPLORE THEM IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T HAVE ME GAGGING sense ); also i think you make him way too important without actually committing to the bit, so i'm gonna give him so many complexes about it" case.

[thebreakfastgenie]

ok curious since ur a Trekkie… do you have any thoughts abt david marcus? sometimes I forget about him but then i feel bad but i also find it hard to believe that kirk would just … be ok with never speaking to him even tho carol told him he didn’t want him in david’s life to but meh i never know what to do with that part of trek

Hey!! Sorry this took so long to answer; I'm visiting family in Maine so I haven't been online as much!

I'm pretty much with you! I forget about David all the time. It's always felt weird to me too, that Kirk is just fine with not being in his life at all, even with it being what Carol wanted. It would have been really easy to have Kirk not know about David, or have only learned about him recently, so I have to wonder why they chose that route. I suspect it may have been an attempt to show a future where families looked different; Carol doesn't seem to have any stigma for raising David as a single mother, and the only one who seems to care about Kirk not being in David's life is Kirk. This vision of a future where adults could just decide to raise a child this way feels consistent with some of the other attempts at progressive ideas, especially in the Roddenberry era and I think he still had some involvement in Wrath of Khan. If that's the case, it doesn't quite land. I don't think William Shatner was ever quite comfortable with it, because one of his books includes a scene of Kirk watching David sleep as a baby, and suggests Kirk wanted to make it work and Carol prevented him from having contact with David.

David's death fits oddly into The Search for Spock, because obviously the real emotional weight is Spock. Kirk blowing up the Enterprise to get Spock back is a fantastic emotional arc. But David also gets killed in the process of recovering Spock, and that sort of throws a wrench in how triumphant it is, but like, not really because we barely know David and don't really care about him. Sarek says "your ship, your son," and Kirk immediately says it was worth. It always makes me feel a bit bad that I don't care about David but... I don't. I was interested in his illegal use of unstable protomatter because he was desperate, but that never really got explored much. And then in The Undiscovered Country Kirk says he's "never forgiven [the Klingons] for the death of my boy" and has a picture of David... which would make a lot more sense if Kirk had known him for more than a couple of weeks.

It's just kind of an awkward piece of canon. And then Into Darkness brought in Carol but didn't even have Kirk sleep with her so I guess Abrams wasn't setting up David in that universe...

[asexual-society]

hi!! so recently ive been questioning if im aspec but am also v confused. im 13-15 yrs old and have never had a crush on anyone irl, celebrities, etc. im not sure if thats normal or not but i am unlabelled so already being part of the lgbtq community has made me wonder if the fact that ive never had a crush is also related to something lgbtq (aspec). not sure if im aromantic or not but i really dont know how to figure it out. also whenever my friends mention s*x i feel kinda gross but idk.. help

Hey, sorry it took so long to get to this, I wanted to make sure I did a decent job answering it.

So you've not had any crushes! By 13, most (allo) people tend to have had some crushes, both on celebrities and normal people. If you haven't that could be because you're ace, or aro, and you could just be a late bloomer, but if you're 15 and it hasn't happened yet then. maybe it's not going to?

It's totally chill to stay unlabelled or questioning, you don't need to figure everything out right now, you're still super young (and it's fine if you stay unlabelled forever too, just to be clear). I can't tell you if you're ace or aro or otherwise aspec, it sounds to me like you could be so it's totally fine for you to try out those labels, you don't have to keep them, or even tell anyone about them if you don't want, just see how they fit for a while if you want, but it's important to remember that you're trying on a label, not putting yourself in a box.

I don't want it to sound like I'm discouraging you from ID'ing as aspec at all, but it doesn't hurt to keep an open mind. At 13 I ID'd vaguely and secretly as bi on and off for 3 years, I barely even knew asexuality or aromanticism existed, so I'm really glad you have those options to explore. Also, don't worry about the sex repulsion thing, loads of acespec people are sex repulsed, and tbh, so are a lot of people your age, truly you are not the only one, and it might even go away, or get weaker over time. I mean even I'm less sex repulsed now than I was a year ago and I'm in my 20s. It doesn't for everyone, some people's gets worse, but these things are fluid, just like anything.

There are loads of resources you can find online about both (I am currently riddled with executive dysfunction otherwise I'd link them here, but there are a ton already on this and other blogs, as well as AVEN and AUREA), don't knock the efficacy of Am I Ace quizzes if you want a more fun and easy way to get your thoughts in order.

I hope this helps, and if anyone has any resources that might be useful, please share them. <3

- mod key

[piningintrovert]

I'm the nonnie who asked all the BL questions what to watch where back at the end of Dec and the nonnie that said you're the best and ran away to watch more. And the gift nonnie too. 💜 My way of saying thank you for the answers and your kindness. And because I LOVE secret gifting :)

I got really lucky and turns out one of my exes who I am good friends with had a few streaming services already so I use those and Youtube, which means I don't really need to get another service but I did get gaga because they didn't have that one, and so we share that one in trade.

You mentioned looking over my shoulder to see what I was watching. So I will give you a list of all the ones I have seen so far.

The Sign (two episodes behind)

Pit Babe (3 episodes behind)

Love is in the Air (I just have to say...wowzers...a lot in this, like a lot a lot. Took me a bit to be okay with certain things but I did like it a lot, and wowzers again LOL I have watched it through twice)

Wedding Plan

Between Us (MY ABSOLUTE FAV AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH I HAVE WATCHED IT 10 TIMES THROUGH ALREADY)

Until We Meet Again

Even Sun

Bad Buddy (Thoroughly enjoyed this!)

KinnPorche

The Middleman's Love

Bed Friends

Naughty Babe

Kiseki to Me

Last Twilight

Blueming

Cutie Pie (and the second too) (Screamed when Boun and Prem showed up in episode 7 AND holy can that man (it should be obvious who) KISS *insert blushy face*

My Dear Gangster Oppa

Ai Long Nhai

Lovely Writer (two episodes to finish)

Why R U? (Finished the thai version and just started on the korean version because why not?)

(I didn't share all my thoughts on them just a few but I did enjoy all of them, even if there were parts that I didn't enjoy as much...)

So I have a full time job and have been devouring these when I am not working. And I know I still have lots more to watch from your list, and I'm excited watch them all. I have just been checking out stuff on MDL and getting distracted and pulled to ones you haven't mentioned as well. But I will finish all the ones you mentioned in your post, all the ones I have watched that you've suggested have been wonderful.

I'm most excited to finish The Sign, there's just something magical about that show. I don't know if I told you but you had reblogged a gifset of that series with an underwater dragon looking thing maybe it was a naga but it looked like a dragon and I am kind of obsessed with dragons so that is what started me looking for it and I love it, it's so well done.

Anyways, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. 💜

Sorry for the late reply, nonnie. I haven't been online in the past few weeks so I didn't see your ask until now orz

It looks like you've been quite busy since the first time we spoke 🤯 Reminds me of when I joined the fandom lol I'm glad things worked out with regards to the subscription services and that you're enjoying your binge-watching experience.

Having The Sign (and Pit Babe) on the roster was one helluva way to ring in the new year and I'm happy that you were able to watch it a bit while it was still airing. I long for more overtly queer, fantasy/supernatural media *deep sigh* but I will say that the covert/censored queer, fantasy media we DO have (The Untamed, Word Honor, Guardian, and The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity) are top tier. Fingers crossed that we get more shows like The Sign in the future. By the way, the dragon thing was a naga which I'm sure you've figured out by now lol

Re: Love in the Air — "wowzers" is an understatement 😂 I don't know what it is, but the rewatch value on this series is SO high. I wouldn't be surprised if you end up watching it a third time lol

What did you think of Even Sun and Last Twilight? I dropped Even Sun after the first ep, but I always wanted to give it another chance because of Boun and Prem. And Last Twilight is on my list, but I've put off watching it because of the quite a few people were disappointed with the way things went towards the end.

Re: Zee's devouring kissing scenes in Cutie Pie — I agree 1000%; he is truly in a league of his own.

Again, I'm happy that you're enjoying the shows I recommended and more importantly, finding ones you like on your own 😊

As always, feel free to stop by anytime for a chat and thank you again for the gift; I really appreciate it 💜