#sorry insomnia is winning tonight

[gideongrovel]

I think one of my favorite things (/gen) about posting art on here is when I finish a piece and there's a certain detail(s) that I'm unsure of, maybe the pose, or the background, ect,,, doesn't matter what- just any random thing im not all that happy with in the art or just something thought could be better,,, without fail at least one or more of y'all will mention that exact detail and be like "this specific details is great!!" and it's completely unprompted since I just keep the parts I'm unsure of to myself, so the praise is offered up freely so it feels so 🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕 and genuine inside my heart!!

like with my most recent art I thought I was doing too much with the pattern on the clothing especially on Chop since I did a pattern on his pants as well,,,, i was almost was gonna have the shirts be solid colors with the text on them,,,,, but I decided to include the pattern under the text anyways,,,, since while I thought it might be "too much",,,, I also thought it made it more fun,,,, so when a couple of y'all specifically said all the patterns were something you liked in it it made me feel all !!!!! especially since y'all are too cool for me, so it meant a lot lmao,

also the background was kinda simple and I didn't know what to do with it and wasn't sure,,,,, but a couple of you also pointed out how you liked it 😭😭😭

-

but even with other pieces it has happened multiple times and everytime it just warms my heart,,, it's like some of y'all can read my brain and just know what part needed encouragement 😭 "one mans trash is another mans treasure" I guess 👁️👁️💙

[shinestarhwaa]

ATEEZ REACTION TO YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP/HAVING INSOMNIA

Hongjoong

"Babe, you can't sleep again huh?"

You shook your head and sighed after an hour of staring at the ceiling. "Well, I have noticed your insomnia lately so I created a lullaby."

You laughed and rolled your eyes. "Don't make a fool of me. I made it in my studio. I think it could really help." Finally you let him play the lullaby and like a miracle you fell asleep in minutes, listening to his music.

Seonghwa

Around 2am he awakens from his sleep and notices you sitting up straight, staring into the void. "Baby?" He said carefully to avoid startling you. You look at him and apologize. "Sorry, can't sleep." He nodded and opened his arms.

You laid back down and nuzzles your face into his clothed chest, smelling like cotton and the flowery fabric softener. The smell and the caring embrace brought your mind to silence and to sleep in no time.

Yunho

"What can I do?" He asked carefully when he noticed you haven't been able to get any sleep even though you'd been trying to for hours. "I honestly don't know, Yu," you said with a tremble in your voice.

Yunho hated seeing you so frustrated and the only thing he could do for you now is be there for you and try to relax you to sleep by singing and holding you.

Yeosang

"Baby?" Yeosang's voice echoed through the hall. His head peeked into the bathroom where you sat on the floor. "Sorry, hot flashes, I'm sweating my ass off."

"Come to bed, I've got the fan out," he said, pulling you up and kissing the top of your head. "I'll grab you some water and you can get some nice sleep."

San

San made sure to provide a mini fridge next to your bed with cold water this night because he had heard you getting out of bed for water every night for two weeks straight. But even tonight you left the bedroom and sat in the kitchen.

He got up and followed you, rubbing his eyes and asking you why you were up again. You told him about your insomnia and San pouted but listened well to your worries and stories. After you let everything out he took you in his arms, lifting you up and taking you to bed, where you laid on top of him in his embrace the entire night, drifting off into a peaceful slumber.

Mingi

Mingi noticed you not being able to sleep so he stubbornly tried to stay up too. "Babee, close your eyes. It must work. Or count sheep or whatever."

"Mingi, if you're going to keep talking I definitely won't be able to sleep." "Don't I have a soothing voice?" "You're shouting baby." Mingi grinned and hugged you tight. "I'll just whisper in your ears now then." "Creep."

Wooyoung

Wooyoung whined when he saw you scrolling on tiktok at 3am. "Babe put that phone down." "Oh sorry," you apologized, "does the light bother you? I'll go downstairs."

"No, you're putting that thing away. If you can't sleep and I can't sleep we might as well do something fun together." "Wooyoung I'm not gonna have sex with you I'm tired." "Well then let me touch you so you can relax. Sounds like a win-win situation to me."

Jongho

He noticed you having sleeping issues for a while, and he tried to stay awake until you slept but it kept getting later and later. "Y/N, lay down, you need to relax and clear your mind so you can sleep."

"But I don't know how," you sighed as you rubbed your eyes. Jongho gently massaged your body to relax your muscles and soon enough you drifted off to dreamland in his embrace.

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630 @stardragongalaxy @bro-atz @wisejudgedragonhairdo @mingisg00dgirl @vesvosmozhno @therealcuppicake @unholywriters @enbymingi @jjoongstar @igbylicious

[mindless-existence1]

Summery: 2018rottmnt Donnoie fluff where reader falls asleep on his lap while he works.

REQUESTS OPEN PLS SEND!

Authors note: Reader is gender neutral as always and isn't described as yokai or human so you can pick what you are, whatever fits you bookie. Only thing is that they fit in Donnies lap while he works so this kinda leans towards people with smaller frames aka me. Also Donnie and reader have been in a relationship for a while by the time this happens.

The lair was dark when you started making your way through the sewer tunnels. It wasn't surprising since it was so late, normally when you slept over you'd spend the day there but you go back up doing stuff at home you couldn't come till now. It sucked you couldn't hang out with the guys and April but you'd have time for that tomorrow. Right now though you want to see your boyfriend.

You had your small backpack but it mostly just had games and snacks in it. Everything else you'd need would be in Donnie's lab. On your way there you passed kitchen where Leo was making tea. You knew his insomnia was bad and so was yours so you didn't say anything since he didn't see you.

Speaking of insomnia, you had assumed Donnie would be working in his lab instead of sleeping in his room. So you started looking for him there first.

You crept past the main area and up to the large doors of Donnie's lab. He had given you the password a while ago, after a lot of convincing, so you got in easily. With a quiet whooshing noise the doors slid open.

The inside of Donnie's lab had his signature purple lighting and gadgets of all sizes surrounding the somehow organized room. After scanning the room you found him sitting at his desk tinkering away. You smiled to yourself, your assumption was correct!

The doors closed and made a semi loud click noise. This is what alerted Donnie that someone had entered his privet area. He turned in his chair and found you walking towards him. "Oh hello dearest I didn't know if you were still coming tonight." He said, his voice slurred with exhaustion.

"Yeah I didn't know if I was but I finished up early so thought I'd sleep here." You smiled at him and when you reached his desk you gave him a soft kiss. "Glad you came, I'm just finishing up on this and then I'll head to bed." He spoke with slight ergancy now.

"Honey it's already late, you should get some sleep. Preferably with me." You said, a yawn punctuating your words. "Last time you acid you were "finishing something up" you spent all night on it."

You held his face in your hands as you spoke. He frowned slightly. "I apologize y/n but i really have to get this done. You can go lay down while I finish up." He answered and turned back his chair to face his desk without another word. You glanced over at the matrice that he has in his lab for late night projects.

With a sigh you walked over to the bed and dropped off your bag before walking back to your heard working boyfriend. You pulled on the back of his chair and turned him around a bit so he was facing you. "Honey I'm sorry but i told you I got to finish this." He said a slight undertone of annoyance, though he could never truly be annoyed with you.

"I know I know, Mr. Genius man." You teased as you moved his arms so you could get into his lap. "You can still work on that, and I can get my cuddles! It's a win win situation." A dark blush finds its way onto Donnie's face and he's very glad you can't see it.

He can already feel your exhausted body go slack as you getcomfortable. "Yeah ok, win win situation." He chuckles and uses his feet to kick the chair back so he is facing his desk. "Good night sweetheart." He says with a kiss to your forehead. He hears you mumble something into his plastron, your voice slurred with exhaustion.

With a soft smile and blush on his face, he gets back to work.

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

Random witchy shit the lads have to put up with

Leo

"Do you have any hair?"

"What? Hair? No I'm a mutated turtle, I don't have hair"

"Ok what about nail clippings?"

"Why the fuck do you want my nail clippings?"

you just sigh and walk away

telling him to put a crystal in his pocket and threatening that if he loses it and dies you're going to do some necromancy shit and beat his ass

he can't sleep so you get out your lavender infused oil and give him a massage

then he's pissed that he overslept and you're just like "Sorry I'm very powerful, next time I'll let your insomnia continue!"

he has a thing about fingerprints on mirrors so one of your most long running arguments is you writing sigils in the fog on the bathroom mirror

Raph

running into his room, clearly het up "What fucking moon phase is it tonight?"

he checks his phone and is like "A waning gibbus"

you practically screech "FUCK!" and run off again

he's kind of into it tho, always asking astrology shit like "What planet is it that's making me so annoyed today?"

you're just like "Earth, baby. It's earth"

he finds your collection of bones and teeth, he was not happy about you keeping them in his room

"But what if I need to call on those spirits to protect you out on patrol? Did you ever think of that?"

His room is messy as fuck and you do a lot of candle magic

have defo almost burnt down his room on at least 4 seperate occasions

Mikey

"Can you do a spell that will get me free pizza?"

"I could just buy you a pizza?"

"No, it's more fun if I know magic was involved"

you had to enchant his nunchucks because he kept hitting himself in the face with them

"Don't ask any questions, I need to know the time you were born"

he tells you, you go on your phone for a minute furiously typing and then say "How dare you be an Aquarius Venus. How could you do that to me?"

he looks around the lair for 2 hours trying to find the laces to one of his shoes

only to find you doing knot magic with it

"I was in a pinch and this was the only knotable thing I could find"

"Baby, I need to put on my shoes..."

Donnie

you turn everything he says into a problem because you find it funny

like he says "Bombastic side eye" when you say something out of pocket

and so, of course, you say "Did you just give me the evil eye? You 100% just evil eye'd me! You cursed me!"

taking his poptarts to give as offerings

that one really annoys him because somehow you always take the last one

and you won't let him eat it after, you just chuck it out when the deity is done wit it.

he meditates sometimes to get to sleep

and keeps waking up covered in and surrounded by your crystals

"I thought they'd relax you! Sorry I have a tight pussy and brilliant ideas I guess..."

"I just pulled the 7 of swords so who the fuck are you cheating on me with?"

he cannot win with you

[red-velvet-0w0]

Hey Red, insomnia has been hitting me like a bitch recently so sorry for being a lil late :(( Honestly I'm probably not gonna be asleep for a while but I'm a hypocrite sometimes so I'm making sure you go to bed on time when I can't. I hope you sleep well tonight and have a good day tomorrow.

Stay winning Queen.

aw i just messaged you!

im really sorry youve been having trouble sleeping :(

i know what thats like, no need to beat yourself up about it.

I hope you do manage to get some sleep

(you know what im going to try to see if i can make the good night story recording that i promissed you for tomorow night) (maybe that'll help you sleep a bit better i hope)

[missorigamimk]

Stay with me Tonight.

Iam vulnerable again.

A Story from Borderlands ××

|| Pairing : Chishiya Shuntaro x Myself 😉

No special Warnings ⚠️ WORD !⚠️ { Read If You Feel Like It } ♠️ Romance 😉🌙

insomnia issues are Real• • Real Time : 5:27•

Butterflies in my stomach was keeping the pace of lust & hunger for sex.

I was so fucking horny , that If Chishiya and I, could have an unlimited number of Visas I'd take it . I could fucked him 24/7 if that was possible. Who's going to fuck who, is questionable but the fact was that this man makes me so wet , nobody else has ever done this. Chishiya had said once that he hardens, just with the thought, that I'm touching myself while thinking of him...( That info came much later when we finally dated for a long time)

I was becoming a total whore after a while my entrance to Borderlands but makes you realise that either we are going to die like the next moment ( literally) either we could manage somehow,to win all fucking games and return to the real world. Which by the way , i don't think that anyone would care what had happened to this parallel cosmos and what we all went through in order to survive.

So, why not enjoy this ? Moreover, i was giving myself only to Him. Thinking of this , iam more like in Love , than a whore. I didn't think even for a second to give my body and my soul to any other man inside this Hotel Walls, and i had erotic proposals, more than plenty on my feet.

Men in Borderland were so awful, yearning for sex

The only one who never approached me this way was Chishiya and thats maybe the first reason he made him different to my eyes.

He approached me because he wanted to make sure i was trustworthy for his future plan ; To steal the Cards from Hatman. Since then we barely talked

I was more close to Kuina & Arisu than him

But the curiosity was eating me alive to know him better, plus my heart started racing after about two years from my last relationship in the Real Life...

And we finally got the chance to talk a night when i couldn't sleep 💤 and i went a walk in the rooftop to watch the stars.

And he was there...

He was seating on the ground- comfortably enough - not wearing his white hoodie - so strange to me -😉 cause most of the time i had this image in my head. Chishiya with hoodie was one. And he was so sexy when he's wearing it. The soft moonlight 🌙 was brushing his right profile, making his perfect skin glow.

I walked slowly at his direction , while trying not to scare him by my sudden appearance in the night

“Hey you...!“ I whispered softly

He turned his head so quickly like my voice switched his knobs on

“Hey,girl! What's up "?

“Classic insomnia. Sleep isn't so easy to get especially so early. I needed fresh air “

His lips shaped a cute totally round "Aw" and his cat eyes were wide open.

“ Especially so early “? Do you know what time is “?

"Yes . It's almost 2:00 am but you know my sleep habits were always....unique. Back , in the world i used to feel sleepy 🥱 at 6:00 in the morning “

"Holy Fuck Nancy. That's not good at ALL for your health “ "Insomnia can cause various and serious problems like stress, luck of concentration ability,even melancholy"

"Wow. You talk like my Doctor"

“Like a Doctor? Maybe because iam one?“

That was the information ℹ️ i didn't know i needed

“Oh ! I'm sorry i didn't know that you're a Doctor!“

"Well i used to have my shifts in a Hospital. I'm a pediatric heart surgeon “

“Oh Chishiya! “ “ Do you mind if i seat with you “?

“Not at all. Why are you asking me, you are not going to bite me"!

He smiled, and that millisecond, i thought that the sky had opened wide and the most bright star was shining.

“You are close to Kuina aren't you “?

“Yes and Arisu"

"Yes. He's ok. I guess so. Little naive though. If you are Ok with advices , i should say you should be careful with this guy. He hasn't got yet as much guts as he needs for surviving here. He might be in trouble without even knowing it“

"Arisu? Aren't we all in trouble since the say we ended up here“?

"That's Correct also" He said and he laughed

"I wish i had a cigarette right now and a RedBull with Cola “

"Nancy, you are having all the dangerous habits you know that “?

"Then iam so lucky to have you beside me Dr“

"Iam talking serious and you are taking your health issues so lightly “ If i was your doctor I'd give you the most strict advices and guidance "!

“Tell me . Iam so curious to hear from you. What would you say to me if i was coming to your office"?

"Stop this. It's not funny. I'm not going to play this. It does not have any sense anyway. We are not like we used to be. “

"Do you miss it "?

"My life ? Yes. Don't you?

"Not really. The only happy things i left back is my best friends and my mom . I really miss her. I don't know if she's still....alive“!!

I shouldn't have said this. Because i collapsed.

I started to cry and all this time the pain of separation was frozen. Or i thought it was

The magic word “mom" killed me more than even the bloodiest games. I thought I was strong & somehow in my mind, I had realized that I was now alone in the world But now, everything came before me again. Her form, her smile, her hug.

“Nancy... she's going to be fine.."

He stood up giving me his hands to help me stand on my feet. I looked up at him , without saying anything,swiping my tears with my sleeve . "Come here" He wrapped his arms around me ,hugging me softly, without asking for a consent.

"Shhh... it's ok. She's gonna be alright"

I didn't know how much i wanted this hug that moment. His palms 🤲 squeezed my back gently and i was feeling his soft skin against mine

For some time i wasn't hugging him back i was in shock 😲 Chishiya Shuntaro is not this type of man not at all. He's not known for his warmth,his care ,his empathy for other people. But all these , before i learn he was giving his life for all his patients...

Now everything, is making perfect sense.

I lifted my hands around his neck caressing his beautiful white hair and made me feel better.

He brushed my last tears and my wet eyelids with his fingers holding my face into his hands and he leaned his lips at mine. His cute round nose touched my ugly crooked one.

"We didn't come to this world to be hurt"

"But we are Chishi. We are"

His eyes was completely Mesmerizing and beautiful I couldn't take my eyes off of him even i was completely destroyed inside.

He was like a cure , who came to me the right moment.

"You have something i can't resist and i was trying to make it go all this time..." "I am not as strong as everyone thinks i am"

"What do you mean“?

" All this time, the last weeks i was fooling myself about my feelings for you. I was wrong and i guess love is a feeling nobody can avoid"

What was that bomb he just said?

How the hell he's letting himself so open ?

"Chishiya...are you making a confession"?

"I guess I am "

"Do you know how many times i was dying to know if you are ok ? Do you know how many days i was struggling to find a sign of you"?

"Kuina never said anything...."

"She had promised to me not to speak a single word about me . I made her swear she won't give you any hint"!

"Why"?

"I did not want to be hurt again Shuntaro . My last relationship was fucked up. It took me so long to get over him"

"We are not the same Nan. You should not comp-"

"Shut up Doctor. I don't need any other advice. I need you to Kiss me Can you do that "!?

"Yes but not here We're already freezing. Follow me"

💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋🌙❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋

It's completely silly story fiction but i don't care

It just came so quick 😃

[my-one-true-l]

Coffee at 3 AM...

[bonniebird]

18+: A lot of flirting

Sweet Pea x Reader

Requested by Anon

Masterpost

Support me on Ko-fi

Make a request

Valentine Event

If you thought the first Hawkins vs Riverdale had filled the town with visitors, the second game caused a surge of visitors. It was one of the last games of the season. The town was packed with spectators for the evening. The Sheriff had to approve extra parking just for the people who had turned up in the afternoon.

You laid out several outfits as you tried to find something to wear. It was the last Hawkins Vs Riverdale game. The tensions were high. There had been fighting all over town between the two teams. Billy and Sweet Pea had even been caught fighting outside of the video store. Picking your outfit and starting to change. Betty and Nancy were meeting at yours and you would head to the last game. The other teams had been knocked out so whoever one this match went to the finals. Everyone was obsessed with the outcome of tonight's game. People had even started taking bets on it. There was a knock at the door. Assuming it was Betty and Nancy you called out downstairs.

“Come in.” You called down. You had almost finished dressing, hearing footsteps on the stairs and a knock on your bedroom door. “I’m almost ready, ok, oh!” You said as you hopped across your bedroom trying to get into your trousers. When you’d opened the door you found, instead of your friends, Sweet Pea.

“You yelled down… to say I should come in?” He said as if he wasn’t sure that you should be upstairs.

“Oh. Yeah. Sorry I thought it was Betty and Nancy.” You explained. He nodded and glanced at the stairs and sighed a little.

“I didn’t mean to interfere or impose. I can leave if you… I should?” He looked a little sheepish. You smiled and shook your head.

“No, it’s ok. Ready for the game?” You asked him and he relaxed a little bit.

“Yeah. I’m feeling pretty good about things.” He answered quickly. You smiled and nodded.

“Things. Like the basketball game or the bet?” You asked. There was a long pause. Sweet Pea grinned a little then nodded as he realised that you must know about the bet. After all, he was the last person to come to you out of the three.

“Well. Maybe that too. Tonight is the last night we’re in Hawkins for a while. So if something between us is going to happen. Tonight would be the night.” Sweet Pea said coolly. You laughed and looked him up and down.

“Oh really and what are we going to do on our last night in town?” You said as you batted your eyes and leaned in. He grinned and shrugged. 

“I’m going to fuck you until you forget Reggie and that fucking Hargrove brat.” He said confidently. You smiled and motioned for him to come closer.

“You’re so confident.” You muttered as he lent in. He didn’t say anything but took the proximity as an opportunity to kiss you. His arms wrapped around you as he deepened the kiss, walking you towards your bed. Your front door opened and he paused.

“We’re ready to go, come on we’re going to be late.” Betty called up the stairs.

“I guess I missed my shot.” Sweet Pea said with disappointment.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. Maybe you’ll just have to swing by before you leave and see what happens. You said as you kissed his cheek and pulled away from him, heading downstairs. Sweet Pea stared after you for a moment before hurrying down the stairs to ask you if you really meant it. When you said yes he grinned, declaring that you had given him the motivation to win the game.

Sweet pea tags:

@theletterhart @boardstomymood @greekktragedyy @daughterofthenight117 @sarcasm-n-insomnia @geli2297 @justice-for-the-kaldorei @kaylantus @ssa--holmes @salemsnothere @yougottalovefandoms @devilslilbabysblog @why-am-I-here-01

@babygrinchsblog @love1deandra

[jessikahathaway]

Baby Talk - Part IV ~TEASER~

SOOOOO the chapter was supposed to post tonight, but Ryn didn't get a chance to check it out because of her work schedule and I don't want to post without her being able to take a full look at the content. So, here is a teaser from the beginning of the chapter that she did get to look at!

Sorry for the inconvenience guys! We're gonna aim for tomorrow evening for the full chapter to post!

Pairing: Jikook X Reader

Genre: Surrogacy!AU, Romance, Pregnancy!AU, Smut (Future)

Rating: 18+

Warnings: (FOR THE TEASER) Threats against a pregnant person (not descriptive), explicit language

Words: 329

You’d hit the 16 week mark and the boys were begging for you to get another ultrasound so they could see the babies better. And by the boys, you mean Jungkook.

“Please Y/N! I want to see them, they’re so small here. I know they’re getting bigger, look at you!” Jungkook cooed, palming your stomach gently. You huffed before nodding slowly.

“Alright alright, make the appointment and I’ll go,” you sighed, rubbing your face in exhaustion. You hadn’t been sleeping well recently, cramps and insomnia running rampant through your body.

Jimin came over with some food for you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Here you are, Y/N, bagel with cream cheese and mustard,” he smiled brightly.

“You’re so sweet, thank you,” you smiled.

“I’m sweet too! Why don’t you compliment me?” Jungkook pouted. You rolled your eyes and laughed.

“Kook, honestly,” you laughed. However, you froze in panic as you realized Jimin’s nickname for his partner slipped out of your lips.

Ohfuckohfuckohfuck

“You are sweet kookie, but, I win currently because I’m the most recent bringer of food, I get extra points,” Jimin smirked.

Your heart eased at the fact Jimin brushed over the blatant use of Jungkook’s pet name. But, there was still a thrumming in your veins. Panic thickening in your throat.

“I demand a recount,” Jungkook frowned. Jimin just smiled and rubbed his fingers over Jungkook’s face to soothe him.

Your fingers itched to do the same…

Ever since Jimin’s episode, you’ve felt so much closer to the two of them. The vulnerability and affection was getting harder to hide on your part. You were even starting to see something from them as well.

Or was it you wanting to see it, and making it appear?

You sighed and looked at your phone, a message coming across the screen.

UNKNOWN: you better watch your back you ungrateful bitch.

Ice cold fear trickled down your spine at the harsh words.

W-Who was this?

[itsagrimm]

Imperial!Tech 3

Summary: Tech's chip activated instead of Crosshairs so Tech is now an imperial commander tasked to serve the Empire at any cost. But is he willing to do so? And are you, dear Y/N as member of the experimental Elite Squad, willing to follow any order your commander Tech gives?

CN: self-harm, talk of death murder and war crimes, stalker behaviour, soldier life in a fascist state, power imbalance, overreaching behaviour, structural violence, sexually predatory behaviour and the likes, sensual overload, insomnia, references of drug abuse, depression and mental health issues, trauma

Imperial!tech X they*them Y/N reader, afab

Thanks a lot to @eyecandyeoz for your insight, feedback and thoughts. Check out their lovely blog!

I am sorry it took me so long. next part will be faster. I already started writing it.

And feel free to criticise especially concerning my use of CN and if the reader perspective is inclusive for you.

2800 words

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Tech collapsed into the chair as soon as Y/N had left the room. He was tired, so tired. He leaned back and put on his glasses. Him taking off his visual aids around Y/N was a degree of trust Tech rarely allowed. He was nearly blind without his glasses and the Kaminoans had considered terminating him for that. Tech was sure Y/N did not even know how much he had surrendered himself to Y/N and their touch. Their oh so soft touch. The memory of it was still fresh on his skin. It raced through is mind which for once was craving to match his body with the need to slow down and take a rest.

But it didn’t.

Y/N was pleasant to be around. Their touch was careful and considered. Only his brothers used to treat him like his. – His brothers, the former clone force 99, had left him behind after they refused to comply with order 66. Due to their divergence the inhibitor chip had not worked while he, Tech, had tried to kill the Jedi. – He had tried to kill a child. – The effect of the inhibitor chip was decreasing. His wound received on Bracca had an 84,743 % chance of damaging the inhibitor chip. But he should investigate further and get the chip out to stop any possible interference with his superior thought process. - Y/N was not aware of the inhibitor chips. He felt the need to tell them. Why? – The Havoc Marauder had not been mentioned on the imperial comm chatter for a while. – Echo was likely to take care of the ship now. – He should get some sustenance. He felt hunger. – Y/N – The Empire expected a degree of loyalty, uniformity, and compliance he was unsure he could deliver for long considering his diverging mind. – what would Hunter do? – the kaminoan proverb “yn’ja tha vaí m°O” was untranslatable into Basic but could be understood in Sit Bisti as “it needs tö be döne för the betterment öf äll”- The Empire was unlikely to grant him the freedom to find his brothers or in fact any freedom. – The canteen might serve Tiingilar tonight – He was a child slave destined to die in approximately 34,6 standard yearly rotations from old age if not sooner. – maybe the canteen will serve uj’alayi too. – Does Y/N speak Mando’an? He should enquire. – Of course, there will be no uj’alayi today. The Kaminoans did not allow sweet foods. – Y/N – How did the atmospheric controls work that ensured breathable air even for the highest floors of coruscanti buildings? - He knew why his brothers left him behind, but why did it feel so painful. – The empire was likely to kill him if he out served his usefulness for them. - He had tried to kill a child. He had killed several children on Onderon. How could he live with that? How could-

Tech forced his thoughts to stop by digging his fingers into his bloody scar.

The sharp pain felt soothing.

“Let’s consider making a list of the most pressing tasks for now.”

He starred at the ceiling.

“The Empire. It is the closest threat to my demise, but it can be my salvation if I am useful. Am I willing and capable to do that?”

His head started spinning again just at the thought of killing another child for the Empire. And yet serving the Empire gave him purpose he wasn’t sure he could muster on his own.

“Where are my brothers? How are they? How do I feel about them?”

Another unpleasant wave of thoughts and feelings washed over Tech before he continued.

“What is with the inhibitor chip inside my head?”

He nodded to himself. That was a rational and containable problem with fixed variables and clear answers. He felt comfortable with that question, pushing aside all the things he might have done due to being under the chips influence.

Only one question was left now.

“Why do I enjoy Y/N presence?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ryloth had a warm and dusty climate during daytime. Y/N felt sweat dripping under the dark armour. The elite squad, including a new ES-03, was ordered to stand close by to Admiral Rampart, the highest imperial officer on Ryloth. And so, they had spent the last rotations following the Admiral around, doing tedious security work and presenting themselves like the Admirals favourite guard dogs to a public very much disliking their military presence. For once, even commander Tech looked annoyed about their not spec-ops appropriate services.

Today they were on the outlook. The Admiral wanted them scanning a large crowd for troublemakers and resistance fighters during a public announcement. Y/N couldn’t blame them. The Twi’lek of Ryloth had spent years fighting for their independence and spilled an ocean of blood on the dusty planet’s surface only to face an Empire now. Half a life ago Y/N would have hated themselves for being a soldier in service of a suppressing ruler. But now it was paid work.

“ES-01?”, Commander Tech brought Y/N back from their thoughts

“I am in position before the crowd.”

“ES-02?”

“Yes sir, I am on the building as you ordered.”

“ES-03?”

“Any nonimperial transmissions are being blocked now.”

“ES-04?”

“The war hawk is ready for take-off in case we need it.”

“Good. Do you register any noteworthy activity?

Y/N gazed through the crowd. They were mostly Twi’lek, waiting to hear from their leaders. All of them were in civilian clothing, none came with visible weapons.

“I can’t spot anything, sir.”

Tech said nothing. But Y/N could hear him type something.

“Analysing previous rebel fighter behaviour and strategies in similar situations they are likely to appear at these coordinates within the crowd today. I am sending you a list for you to especially pay attention to, ONCE.”, he finally said using the moniker the elite squad had given Y/N.

“Yes sir.”

Y/N looked at their holopad and started checking the coordinates commander Tech had calculated. At entry four they spotted their targets.

“Commander. I have a visual about 40 meters from my position, 10 o’clock. There are two fighters. Twi’lek. One female and one male passing. Shade of blue and orange.”

A moment everyone was silent.

“Confirmed.”, ES-02 stated.

Another moment passed.

“Observe them for now. Stay alert.”, Tech ordered before ending the transmission.

High above the Twi’lek senator started to talk. Y/N could not remember his name and paid little attention to his words. Unlike the Twi’lek.

“They are not happy.”, ES-02 stated flatly.

“Yeah thanks, I would not have noticed without you.”

“Always a pleasure to help out, ONCE.”

ES-02 was right. The crowd was angry. The imperial presence, the empty words of some disaffected politician, the fresh memories of the clone war. It was no surprise that the Twi’lek called out for their resistance leaders to speak.

“We want Syndulla! We want Syndulla!”, the crowd chanted.

A different voice from above started speaking. The crowd calmed down, not entirely happy but at least not a raging mob.

“At least we will not have to gun them down, now.”, ES-02 mumbled with a bitter voice.

“Would you really do that, two?”

“You know what they say, good soldiers follow orders, ONCE. And I intend to be one. Especially when I’m getting paid for it.”

XXXXXXXXXXX

Rampart was an asshole. He was a smug little administrator, willing to lie, back-stab and sacrifice whatever needed to achieve his goals. Rampart was the perfect general to handle a loaded situation like the one on Ryloth. And he was no fool.

Y/N hat noticed that he had kept both commander Tech and Howzer, the commanding clone trooper in charge of the regular clone troopers on Ryloth, close. A strategic move. Spec-ops commandos like the elite squad and regular commandos were in constant competition and mistrust to each other. Should one commander not deliver or even consider treason the other would interfere. And Rampart would always end up on the winning side of their clone infighting.

Y/N could here their arguing inside the office.

Commander Tech had ordered for Y/N to wait outside the office for new orders.

More arguing from the office was audible until finally Ramparts voice cut their bickering short.

The door opened and Howzer left. His expression was that of a practised reserved solider hiding his worries.

The door opened again, and commander Tech stepped outside of Ramparts office.

He looked tense.

Instead of a greeting or an order he just started walking. They followed him.

“Clone force 99 is here. But we are kept on a short leash. As always.”, Tech stated, “It is implausible to not use the best tools possible when confronted with a problem. Howzers troopers will not be able to beat them if necessary. Just like they won’t be able or unwilling to beat the Twi’lek should the need arise.”

Since Kamino the commander had started to share more of his thoughts with Y/N. All they had left to do was to listen and ask the right questions.

“Sir, you think Howzer will commit subordination?”

“There is a possibility of him and his men disagreeing with the new imperial leadership and it’s methods. Howzers unit has fought alongside the Twi’leks the past years. Bounds forged in the trenches can be stronger than loyalty to an administrator from Coruscant. But I require further data to assess the likelihood of treason.”

“What about clone force 99?”

“Their abilities and erratic strategies will be a challenge should we … no, should I have to face them.”

“So, we did not get the order to hunt them down?”

“No. Not yet.”

“And yet you already imply them as of importance.”

“It would be a grave strategic mistake to dismiss their presence.”

“So, what is the elite squad going to do about them? What are your orders, sir?”

Tech paused and adjusted his glasses.

“We are going to do nothing.”

“Sir!?”

“Don’t.” There was a warning in his voice. A signal to Y/N not to cross a line, invisible yet perceptible. He was after all a commander and Y/N just a soldier.

“I am sorry. I overstepped. You are in charge.”

He turned, stepped away and looked at Y/N. His eyes scrutinized them like a scientist inspecting a rare specimen of remarkable value.

They shivered.

His gaze was intriguing. It was painful to feel on display like that. And yet it was nearly intimate to be studied by Tech. Unsure if he would finally hit Y/N for their countless discretions or if he just contemplated their objections.

Finally, Tech nodded appeased and continued his walking without any further talk.

“What do you want us to do now, sir?”

Tech stopped.

“What do I want you to do now?”, Tech repeated as if the question had a different meaning to him than it had to Y/N.

He took out his holopad only to put it away again. He cleared his throat.

“I need you to stay alert. The situation is complicated. For now, get some sleep. The chances are below 4,65 % that there will be a significant development within the next two hours. After that I except the elite squad to be combat ready.”

“Yes sir.”

XXXXXXXXX

The Refresher room was empty. Most clones avoided the elite squad, and all the other members of their unit were taking a nap before the night shift which left Y/N to have the large washroom for themselves.

They signed.

Taking a shower and having some alone time to think and feel before finally taking a rest was what they needed.

Y/N started to strip out of the armour.

First, they took of the helmet, then the vambraces and shin guards before getting the shoulder pieces and lifting the heavy breast armour off before finally getting out of the abdomen armour. The black katarn fell to the floor, making loud echoing noises.

Y/N didn’t care. No one was to correct them on their improper handling of equipment here.

And as much as the armour was a useful necessity, it was a heavy burden in more than one way.

Their blacks followed and soon Y/N was standing under the refresher, naked and alone.

The water was hot and painful.

It was a welcome distraction to all the feelings of … well what exactly?

Y/N felt tears running down their face.

No, no, no. It’s just the refresher.

An uptight sob escaped Y/Ns throat. It was all so different from what they imagined. They had entered imperial service for the payment during a desperate time. And ended up witnessing murder after murder, committing murder.

Today they could have become accomplices to killing a crowd of innocent Twi’leks. And Y/N knew that they would have complied with the order to open fire on the civilians if given. How could they not? Surrounded by troopers like them, ordered around by heartless and calculating commanders.

Would Tech give a killing order like this?

Was he that heartless?

He had done so before.

He had killed so many times before their eyes and yet a piece of Y/N refused to see him as a murderer. In fact, they felt shameful about feeling and thinking about Tech – about their commanding officer – at all.

Y/N stopped fighting the tears and cried out loud.

Nobody would know about this.

Nobody would know about their doubt and vulnerability.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As always sleep had been an unwilling friend to visit Tech. With a sigh he gave up and got up from the cot. As always, his mind was racing. He had tried the breathing techniques Crosshair taught him after a particular long stretch of insomnia, but it didn’t work.

And Tech wasn’t in the mood to experiment with the vast collection of sedatives to force his body to sleep right before possibly facing his brothers and definitely meeting admiral Rampart soon.

Work it was then.

His holopad listed only unchallenging administrative tasks.

The new Shuttle was in top shape.

His weapons were cleaned.

Tech had nothing to keep is overthinking brain in check.

Kriff, his life really was miserable. A never-ending effort to bringing his spiralling mind some peace.

A notification came in.

What a blessing.

Tech looked at the holopad again. It was just a reminder to check on his subordinates, to listen in on their private talks and vital signs.

The order from Imperial Command was an uncomfortable task but it was the best he had to do right now. And listing in on some snoring was better than listening to the elite squads talk like last time. At least it felt less overreaching.

He started with ES-04 and workout down from there. Four was in deep slumber, nothing of interest to note. ES-03 was still new and his sleep was restless, a few murmurs about his home planet and family escaped his lips. ES-02 was dreaming. His heartrate was accelerated. Tech turned his observation of, not interested in the rutting sounds of ES-02.

ES-01 was left. ONCE. Y/N. The thought of peeping into their private life was not only uncomfortable, but it also felt violent to strip Y/N of their peace and privacy.

And yet, Y/N was the only one Tech WANTED to know more about. He felt his desire to learn more about Y/N like a physical need, an addicting obsession Tech knew he needed to be careful with not to indulge.

Was their slumber peaceful and sweet?

Did they have dreams about home?

Or did they fight their nightmares in sleep just like they did awake?

He swallowed.

He was just following an order.

He will do nothing more.

He was just a good soldier.

Y/N wasn’t asleep. Their bucket was off and there were no vital signs coming of them. But the acoustic signal was working.

Y/N was somewhere with a lot of echoes and running water.

Tech felt himself blushing and getting hot.

They were in the shower.

It felt so right to listen in on Y/N. Tech felt bad about it.

The thought of water running down their bare and naked body made Techs mind slow like nothing ever before. The pleasure of a calm mind made him groan.

He hesitated. This was not okay. He shouldn’t listen. He shouldn’t imagine a subordinate like that. He hated that he had to. He hated that the Empire gave him order to do so. But more than that he hated himself for following that order so willingly.

He reached for the off button on his holopad.

A sob.

Was that Y/N? Were they crying?

Tech’s mind went from zero into overdrive. He needed to know who or whatever made you feel like crying. He would find out. And he would remove whatever it was from your life.

Part 4

[dottielovegood]

ASMR - Chapter 6

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

_______________________________________

You can find chapter 1 here, chapter 2 here, chapter 3 here, chapter 4 here and chapter 5 here.

Read this fic on AO3

_______________________________________

When Friday was just around the corner, Azriel was a nervous mess.

He had cleaned his apartment twice, which he understood was a weird thing to do since she wasn’t even coming to his house. He had tried on every item of clothing in his wardrobe. He had googled ‘conversation topics first date’ and written a few down on his phone. He had even gotten a haircut.

He hadn’t been able to sleep at all that week. It felt weird to look at her videos when he had met her and talked to her. It felt like an invasion of privacy, even though it wasn’t. The videos were on the internet for everyone to see, yet Azriel couldn’t bring himself to watch her videos. So he didn’t sleep.

The day before the date, Azriel had decided to get her flowers. But when he stood in a flower shop and the person behind the register asked what kind of flowers he wanted, he just walked out of there. He had no idea what kind of flowers to give to a florist. He knew that certain flowers had certain meanings, and even though he had no idea what any flower meant, a florist probably knew. What if he bought flowers that said ‘I hate you’ or ‘happy funeral’?

Azriel couldn’t risk it, so he bought some chocolate instead. All women like chocolate, right?

But when he came home, his mind did that thing it always did when he was sleep-deprived: it questioned his every decision. What if Elain is lactose intolerant? What if she’s vegan? What if she is the only person on planet earth who hates chocolate? What if the different flavors of chocolate have meaning, just like flowers? Maybe you bought some sort of ‘happy funeral-chocolate’?

In an attempt to get these intrusive thoughts out of his mind, he went to the gym. He worked out for two hours, which was a bit excessive. The gym played shitty gym-music and every single person made weird sounds. It was the perfect distraction. For now.

Azriel hoped that his workout would help with his insomnia, too. He hoped that if he lifted enough weights and ran a few more miles than usual, perhaps he would be able to sleep. It had never worked before, but, as his mother used to say; “hope is the last thing that leaves you.”

However, after tossing and turning for three hours, he could safely say that the workout had done nothing to help him sleep. He couldn’t understand how a person could be so fucking tired, but still unable to sleep. He was almost going a bit crazy at this point. For the past weeks, Azriel had gotten used to falling asleep to Flower Girl ASMR’s videos. He had gotten used to her sweet voice rocking him to sleep. The insomnia was almost worse now that he knew how good it felt to have a decent night’s sleep.

Azriel looked at his phone. It was almost 02.30 in the morning. Fuck, he muttered to himself. He really didn’t want to be a tired mess on the date tomorrow. He had to put his best foot forward, and he knew he couldn’t do that if he hadn’t slept well for almost a week.

Maybe he should just watch one of her videos? She would obviously never know.

After debating with himself for a few minutes, he decided that Elain deserved to meet a well-rested Azriel, so he opened the YouTube app and found her latest video.

Azriel held his breath as her face filled his screen. God, she was lovely. Her smile could light up the darkest of nights, and her sweet voice was like a calming balm for his soul.

He put the phone in his chest and just listened. Slowly and gently, her whispers lulled him to sleep.

Azriel woke up relaxed, but nervous. He only had a half-day at work because Rhys had decided to send everyone home early today to celebrate that Feyre was pregnant. He was taking her on a spa weekend. She was only a few weeks pregnant, but Azriel knew that she would be the most pampered woman in the world during this pregnancy. This weekend was just the beginning. If she suddenly got a craving for pickle smoothies with whipped cream and sprinkles, Rhys would 100% make her one every day. And that is saying something since this man almost threw up every time someone opened a pickle jar in his vicinity.

“Any cool plans tonight, Az?” Cassian asked as he started to pack up his belongings.

Azriel wanted to tell him about the date. He wanted to share the nervousness with someone - anyone. But he couldn’t. Cass knew who she was. Nesta had known her since college. If this didn’t go well, Azriel would never hear the end of it. So he lied.

“No, nothing special. You?”

“I was going to take Nesta out for a date to celebrate that it has been four years since she agreed to go on a date with me…”

Azriel laughed. “After you had panted after her for like two years you mean?”

“Exactly!” He smiled. Cassian sure seemed like a big brute the first time you met him, but he was actually a soft teddy bear. He was never ashamed when people mentioned that he had been trying to win Nesta over for years before she agreed to date him. He just felt like he had won a prize. It was very sweet.

“However,” he continued. “She has to work late. Apparently, one of her authors had plagiarized fanfiction, which Nesta found out about like a week before the book went to print. So obviously, Nesta is livid and I do not want to be close to her until this is resolved.”

Nesta owned a publishing company that focused on publishing romance novels, which didn’t surprise anyone. Nesta had always loved romance books. In her words; the smuttier, the better. Azriel always found them a bit cringy. It was like reading porn. But truth be told, he had read a few books that Nesta had recommended, and they had taught him a thing or two.

“What the hell is fanfiction?” he asked Cassian.

Cassian shrugged. “I’m not completely sure, but apparently this author had just copied something from the internet and changed the names of the characters and sent it in as a manuscript.”

“Weird. I understand that Nesta is pissed.”

“Yeah. So, you wanna do something? Take out and a game?”

“No, I can’t,” Azriel lied.

“You just said that you didn’t have any plans.”

Fuck.

“Yeah, well. I said that I didn’t have any special plans, not that I didn’t have any plans.”

Implying that his date with Elain was “not special” made him feel like shit.

Cassian eyed him suspiciously. “You’re going on a date.”

“What? no.”

Cassian laughed and slapped Azriel’s back. “Yes, you are. You have that date-look all over your face.”

“What the hell is a date-look?” he asked, but Cassian didn’t answer.

“Who are you going out with? Do I know her? Is she hot?”

Azriel held up a hand to stop the onslaught of questions. “You don’t know her,” he lied.

Cassian grinned. “So, you are going on a date?”

“You just said that I had a date-face?”

“Yeah, that was a lucky guess. So, what’s her name?”

“None of your business, Cass.”

“Wow, what a beautiful name,” Cassian teased. “But I get it. You like being secretive. Can you at least tell me how you met?”

“The internet.”

Cassian let out a fake gasp. “Stop the presses and hold your horses. Azriel downloaded a dating app? Can pigs fly now, too?” He made a point of looking out the window.

“Ha-ha, very funny.” Azriel slung his bag over his shoulder and started walking towards the elevator. Cassian was just behind him.

“So, can I see a photo?”

“No.”

“What if you’re getting catfished?”

“I’m not.”

“Well, you can never be sure. One time, this girl, or actually, it was an old man…”

“Cass, please. Just let it go,” Azriel interrupted. “There’s a reason why I never tell you guys when I go on dates.”

“Dates? You’ve been going on multiple dates without telling me? I’m wounded, Azriel.”

Azriel rolled his eyes and stepped into the elevator. When the elevator reached the ground floor, Azriel got out. Cassian had his car in the underground parking garage. Just before the doors closed, Cassian called out for Azriel. “You might need this.” He threw something at Azriel, and Azriel didn’t see what it was until he caught it.

It was a condom.

With a grin, Cassian disappeared behind the big, metal elevator doors.

Azriel shook his head and looked down at the small foil packet in his hand. Cassian really was the worst.

A few hours later, Azriel was almost ready to leave for the date. He was wearing black trousers and a dark grey knitted sweater. And blue socks. Cobalt blue, to be exact. Azriel had a thing about colorful socks. He mostly dressed in black, but he didn’t own a single pair of black socks. These blue socks were his favorites, though. He loved cobalt blue.

Azriel was checking the route to the bar when an incoming phone call made his phone vibrate (he had put his phone on mute and deleted Barbie Girl from his phone, thank god!).

It was Elain calling.

Azriel felt his heart drop. Nobody called just before a date unless they wanted to cancel.

With a sigh, he answered the phone. He tried to sound cheery. “Hello, Elain.”

“Azriel! I’m so happy you picked up.” She sounded out of breath.

“Anything wrong?” Azriel asked.

“Well. Kind of… have you left your apartment yet?”

“No, not yet. Why?”

There was a short pause, and Azriel could have sworn that he heard her swear under her breath.

“Well, I won’t be able to make it. I’m so sorry. And I’m so sorry for calling this late. I was really looking forward to our date, I promise.” She really did sound apologetic.

“Has anything happened?” Azriel asked, suddenly a bit worried.

“No… Or actually, yes. I fell when I got out of the shower earlier. I thought that I just needed to rest, but I can’t walk,” she let out a pained laugh. “I’m such a clutz.”

Azriel hated that she was trying to make light of the situation. He hated that she was hurt. “Elain. If you can’t walk, you should probably go to the ER,” Azriel said.

“Oh, no. I called my neighbor. Madja. She’s a doctor. She said that I had just sprained my ankle.”

“Okay…” Azriel didn’t know what else to say.

“Can we reschedule?” Elain asked. “I really wanted to see you tonight.”

Azriel was used to being rejected. He was used to not trusting new people. But somehow, he trusted Elain when she said that she wanted to see him.

“Of course we can reschedule. I was really looking forward to meeting you too.”

“Really?” He could hear the smile in her voice. It made him smile.

“Yes. I’m av…”

Azriel was interrupted by a hiss from Elain.

“Are you okay?” he asked, ready to steal a car, drive over her to her place, and get her to the hospital. Maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t know her address.

“Mhm, I’m fine. I just.. moved.”

“Elain. Do you have a friend or family member coming over to help you?”

There was a stretch of silence. “No, I’m fine. I don’t need help.” Her tone was too positive and cheery. Azriel didn’t believe her one bit.

“Have you had dinner?”

“I was planning on making some instant ramen.”

Azriel frowned. “And how are you going to do that when you can barely move? Also, that’s not good enough for dinner.”

She didn’t answer for a while. “I’m fine. I promise.” He could hear her voice break on the last syllable. She was not fine.

“Elain. Please, will you let me get you some food? I don’t have to come in if you don’t want me to. Just, let me get you something to eat.”

“You don’t have to…”

“I want to. If you’re willing to give me your address, I’ll be there in just a bit.”

She hesitated. “You probably have something better to do.”

“I don’t. Now please, let me get you some food.”

He didn’t just want to get her some food. He wanted to make sure that she was alright. He didn’t want her to sit all alone in her apartment when she couldn’t walk.

He wanted to take care of her.

After a small eternity, he could hear her whisper “Okay.”

45 minutes later, he was outside her building with sushi (she had said that she liked it) and a bag full of snacks. He didn’t know what she liked, so he had bought a little bit of everything.

A short, old lady walked out the door, and Azriel caught it with one hand. He didn’t want to call her and make her come to the door right now, so he snuck in.

Elain had told him that she lived on the sixth floor, so he quickly made his way up the stairs. He couldn’t risk being caught in an elevator right now.

He found the door with her name on it and raised his hand to knock. And then he froze.

What am I doing? he thought to himself. He had basically asked her for her address and then invited himself to bring her food. He knew that she had a bad history when it came to men. What if she just didn’t want to say no because she thought that it would hurt his feelings?

Azriel contemplated leaving the food outside the door and text her when he was a safe distance away.

“Azriel, is that you?” someone called from the apartment. Elain.

Azriel had to swallow the lump in his throat. “Yes,” he called back. “Do you want me to leave the food outside the door?”

“No, come in. The door is open.”

With a deep breath, Azriel gathered his courage and reached for the doorknob.

He walked into a small hallway that opened up to a quaint kitchen. Elain was nowhere in sight. The kitchen was bright and welcoming. The walls were painted light green and the cabinets were white. Azriel could see a few cookbooks on her windowsill, which made him smile. Most people didn’t own cookbooks nowadays - they just found recipes online.

“In here,” Elain called. Azriel made his way through the kitchen and into the living room. His first thought was that the room really seemed to fit Elain. The dark wooden floor was a nice contrast to the white walls. Not that you saw much of the walls since they were covered by a built-in bookshelf and a gallery wall full of botanical prints. And there were plants in every nook and cranny. There was a dark green velvet couch in the middle of the room, and on it sat Elain. Or actually, she was half-seated, half laying down. Her foot was propped up with a few pillows. There was a coffee mug on the table in front of her, and beside the couch, he could see a worn leather chair.

Elain was smiling at him as he entered the room. When he smiled back, she put the back of her hand against her forehead, which made her look like a damsel in distress from one of those old Hollywood movies. “You came for me,” she exclaimed in an awful fake southern accent. “My hero!”

Azriel couldn’t help but laugh. Elain was wearing black leggings and an oversized shirt. Her hair was gathered into a ponytail. She was beautiful, Azriel thought to himself as he sat down in the leather chair, giving her all the space she needed on the couch.

“How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Madja said that it seems to be a mild ankle sprain, and I should be up and running in like one to two weeks. Honestly, I feel more stupid than anything else.”

“Why?” Azriel asked.

“Well, I didn’t want to cancel our date. And who falls out of the shower? I really am the clumsiest person in Velaris,” she joked. “Yesterday, I dropped a full cup of coffee over my new, white shirt. And the day before that, I poked my friend Nuala in the eye with a flower.”

“You… poked her in the eye with a flower?”

Elain laughed. “Yes. Her eye was red for hours.”

Their eyes met for a brief moment, and Azriel thought that he could drown in those eyes. He wanted her to look at him forever.

But he didn’t want to intrude. “Do you want me to leave? I could just leave the food here with you.”

Elain bit her inner cheek, suddenly looking very nervous. “Would you...Didn’t you buy food for yourself?”

“I did. But I don’t have to eat with you if you want to be alone.”

“I…” she took a deep breath. “I don’t want to be alone.” It was barely a whisper.

“So, you want me to stay?”

Elain nodded, a lovely pink color spreading across her cheeks.

“Okay.” Azriel unpacked the sushi from the bag and offered her a choice of drinks. “We have lemon, elderflower, and regular coke. I didn’t know what you preferred.”

“Elderflower, please.”

She was still blushing. Azriel couldn’t tell if she was uncomfortable or just nervous.

Azriel handed her the drink and opened the coke for himself.

Elain sat up slowly and reached for her chopsticks. Since she had to sit with her leg raised, she couldn’t exactly lean over the coffee table, so Azriel placed the sushi on a pillow in her lap.

“Thank you,” she said and put a few pillows behind her back. From where he sat, he could only see the back of Elain’s head now. He wanted to move the chair so he could look at her, but he didn’t want to come off as creepy.

And he was actually quite happy that they couldn’t see each other when she took a bite of her food and let out a sigh. It was just a sigh, but somehow it was the most erotic sound Azriel had ever heard. He blushed and made a point of looking at his food.

“God, this is so good, Azriel. Thank you. I was really hungry.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

“Lunch,” she said under her breath and took another bite of sushi. Azriel looked at his watch. She hadn’t eaten in more than seven hours. And she was going to make instant ramen if he hadn’t shown up. Suddenly, he felt a bit better about the situation.

When Azriel looked up from his food, Elain was looking at him over her shoulder.

“Is this weird?” she asked. “Is it weird that I asked you to stay? I know it isn’t fun…”

“I kind of remember that I was the one who asked for your address, and then showed up at your doorstep with food. I promise that I wouldn't have done that if I didn’t want to. If anything, I’m weird for showing up like this.”

She laughed, but it was a sad laugh. “No, you’re not weird. You’re kind. I’m just not used to this.”

Azriel frowned. “Not used to what? Kindness?”

Elain looked away, but Azriel didn’t miss the slight nod. “My ex never came over when I was sick. He said that I was boring and that he had better things to do…”

Azriel felt his hands curl into fists. “Is this the same ex that cheated on you and now leaves hate on your videos?” he gritted out.

Another nod. “Yes. But there has been almost no hate since you helped me block those words.” She smiled at him, and he could tell that she wanted to change the subject.

“That’s good to hear.”

Azriel wanted nothing more than to ask where this asshole lived so he could go and kick his ass, but he tried to act civil for Elain’s sake.

“I’m sorry for talking about him,” she said. “You should never talk about exes on dates and…” Her eyes grew wide when she realized what she said. “Not that this is a date or anything,” she corrected herself. “I mean, it would be a pretty shitty date.”

She was flustered, and Azriel couldn’t hide the big grin on his face. She was so cute.

“Elain. Do you want this to be a date?”

“Do you?”

He knew that she needed to hear him say it. “Yes.”

A shy smile played on her face. “Me too.”

“Then it’s settled. This is our first date,” Azriel declared.

Elain’s smile grew. “So there’s a chance for more dates?”

“Don’t be greedy,” Azriel teased. Elain stuck out her tongue and turned around again, facing her food.

I want to taste that tongue, Azriel thought.

Damn those intrusive thoughts.

“I can’t believe that I’m wearing leggings on our first date.”

Azriel didn’t say anything to that. He could complain about anything that tight.

God, what was wrong with his brain tonight?

“You look so good, and I look like this,” she pointed at her hair. “I had even bought a new dress for tonight.”

This piqued Azriel’s interest. “Really? Tell me what it looks like and I can imagine you in it.”

Or out of it.

Stupid fucking brain.

Elain pointed somewhere behind Azriel. “Well, it’s right there.”

On a door that Azriel assumed led to her bedroom, hung a blue dress.

Cobalt blue.

His favorite color.

He grinned and pulled up one pant leg and showed her his sock “We would have matched.”

Elain let out a heartfelt laugh, which made Azriel all warm inside. He loved seeing her happy. He liked knowing that he was the reason for said happiness.

“I didn’t take you for a man that wears colorful socks,” she said, still laughing. “First Barbie Girl, and now colorful socks. I’m starting to think that there’s more to you than meets the eye.”

“Oh, I’m full of surprises.”

There was a stretch of silence again. It wasn’t uncomfortable though. Even though they didn’t know each other well yet, Azriel could already tell that Elain was one of those people that he just instantly could relax around.

“Elain, this might be a weird request. But can I move this chair so I’m not staring at the back of your head?”

Elain turned around, cheeks pink again. “Yes,” she answered quickly, almost as if she had thought about the same thing.

He picked up the chair and quickly moved it to the other side of the couch. When he met Elain’s gaze, she was staring at him, mouth agape.

“What?”

“You’re strong.”

Azriel scratched his neck and laughed nervously, feeling a bit self-conscious. “Yeah, I work out.”

Wow, what a stupid fucking answer.

But Elain didn’t seem to mind. No, she was looking at him more intently now, and her eyes were not focusing on his face anymore. No, they were most definitely looking at his chest. “I can tell,” she said playfully. This felt very much like flirting,

Azriel wondered what she would think of the tattoos covering his skin underneath the shirt.

Azriel tried to remember the conversation topics he had written down on his phone, and after a few minutes, they were talking as if they had known each other for years. Azriel was surprised that she was so easy to talk to. Most of the time, he struggled with social situations. But with Elain, he felt comfortable. At ease.

“You’re very easy to talk to,” he told Elain. She rewarded him with a smile.

“So are you. It feels like we have known each other forever. I never thought that someone that slid into my DM’s would ever be this nice.”

At those words, Nesta’s face popped into Azriel’s mind. He should tell Elain that he knows Nesta. If it wasn’t for her, he would never have known that Elain lived in Velaris. If it wasn’t for Nesta, he wouldn’t have happened to run past her store that morning.

“I have a confession to make,” he said before he could change his mind.

Elain raised her eyebrows. “Oh? Please don’t tell me you’re trying to get me to join a cult.”

“Has that happened before?”

Elain shrugged. “More often than you think.”

“I’m not trying to get you to join a cult. I just… I wanted to tell you that I think that we have some mutual friends.”

She didn’t look surprised, but she didn’t say anything either, so Azriel continued.

“You know Nesta, right? I think you went to college together…”

Elain nodded.

“Well, she’s getting married to my best friend Cassian. I didn’t know that you knew them when I wrote to you, I promise. But it felt weird pretending like we don’t have people in common when we do. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. I found out last week when Nesta saw one of your videos on my phone and asked me if I was a stalker.”

Azriel was blushing now. He was expecting silence, or maybe questions. But instead, he was met with laughter.

“She thought you were a stalker?”

Azriel shrugged, unable to find any good words.

“Well, I might also have a confession to make,” Elain announced. “I actually knew that you were friends with Nesta. That’s why I even answered your DM in the first place.”

“What?” Azriel couldn’t find better words than that.

“Yeah, when I scrolled through your Instagram I saw a photo from Rhysand’s and Feyre’s wedding, so I kind of figured out who you were then. Nesta had mentioned you once or twice before, so I knew you weren’t a creep. And then I saw that selfie when you were carrying a lasagna, and you looked so good, so I answered your DM.” Her blush had almost turned a deep red.

Azriel couldn’t help but grin. “You answered because I looked hot? You said that the lasagna looked tasty…”

She bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Want to hear another confession?”

Azriel nodded.

“Well, I kind of understood how to block words from the link you sent me, but I really wanted to talk to you more.”

Azriel’s mouth fell open in pretend shock. “Sneaky girl.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. I just…”

“No, no. It’s okay,” Azriel interrupted. “Do you want to hear another of my confessions?”

“Yes, please.”

Azriel put his elbows in his knees and leaned forward. He could tell that her eyes went to his biceps. Good.

“Well, when I first saw one of your videos, I thought that you might be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”

Elain blushed even more, the color spreading to her chest. Not that Azriel was looking there.

“Really?”

“Yes. And when we talked on the phone, you know, that time when you lied about needing my help,” Azriel winked at her. “I hadn’t laughed that much in ages. I was so bummed because I thought that you lived on the other side of the country or something.”

“But I didn’t.” She smiled.

“You didn’t.” He smiled back.

They spent the entire night in Elain’s living room, just talking. Without even noticing it, a few hours went by. When they finished the sushi, Azriel made a snack buffet on the coffee table, which made Elain laugh.

“We are going to be so sick if we eat all of this.”

“Well, someone told me that she might be bedridden for more than a week, so maybe you could save some for the upcoming days of rest and relaxation.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she said and reached for the popcorn.

They continued flirting for the rest of the evening, but nothing explicit happened. They didn’t touch. Didn’t kiss. They just talked. It was all Azriel could have dreamt of. He had never felt so comfortable so quickly with anyone before. When it was close to midnight, he could tell that Elain was getting tired. After her fifth yawn, Azriel told her that he should probably get going.

She protested and then yawned again.

“Okay, I admit defeat,” she said and stretched. Azriel could see her stomach when her shirt rode up from the motion. It looked so wonderful and soft and…

He didn’t even have time to finish his thought, because Elain was trying to stand up by herself. Trying, and failing miserably.

“Could you help me to the bathroom?” she whispered and nodded to a white door just by the kitchen.

“Of course,” Azriel put his arm around her waist and supported her. She didn’t complain, but he could see the pain on her face. It hurt him to see her like this.

“I’m just gonna brush my teeth. Don’t go just yet.” She closed the door. Azriel leaned against the wall next to the door and dragged his hands through his hair.

He looked around the room, not quite believing that he was here. In Elain’s home.

This date had been even better than he could ever have imagined. He was actually quite happy that they hadn’t gone out, but he obviously didn’t like that the reason for staying home was that she was hurt.

The door opened again, and Elain looked at Azriel with a pale face. She was so obviously in pain. Azriel grabbed her around the waist again and held her up.

“Do you have any painkillers?”

She nodded. “By the bed. Could you help me? Just to the door.”

Azriel started leading the way, but after two steps Elain winced.

Azriel couldn’t take it anymore. “Hold on,” he warned her, and then he picked her up. She gasped and flung her arms around his neck. This was the closest they had ever been. One of his fingers graced the hem of her shirt. He could feel her skin there. He had to take a deep breath. “Is this okay?”

“Mhm,” she breathed, and he walked her to her room. He stopped at the door. It was a cozy bedroom. The walls were painted a dark blue and above her bed hung a giant painting with a floral motif in a gold frame.

“Nice room,” he said. He didn’t put her down. She had said that she only needed help to the door, but he couldn’t see her walking to her bed all by herself,

“Thank you.”

“Do you want me to...” he started, but he was interrupted when Elain said his name.

“Azriel,” she repeated.

He looked at her then, her face just inches from his. He could see every freckle on her skin. He could count every eyelash. His eyes went to her plush lips, and then back to her eyes.

Had she noticed?

She had his attention now.

“Azriel,” she whispered. “Are you going to kiss me?”

Azriel was taken aback. He hadn’t expected that question. He didn’t mind, of course not. he was just surprised. She could probably see that in his eyes, because she quickly tried to smooth over it. “I mean, we don’t have to. I completely understand if you don’t want to, and I..”

Azriel kissed her temple to make her quiet. It worked very well. “You’re hurt.”

“Just my ankle,” Elain pouted. “Also, haven’t you ever heard the saying ‘kiss it better’?”

Azriel rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure that it means that you should kiss the place that hurts,” he teased.

“Eh, semantics. I think a kiss on the lips might do wonders.”

Azriel leaned in, almost touching his lips to her. Almost. “Oh, is that what you think?” he teased.

“Mhm,” she breathed.

Azriel stayed like that for a while, his lips just out of reach. He wanted her to beg. He wanted her to go crazy with want. With need.

But that was for another time. Right now, he just needed to kiss her.

Elain was tilting her head to get closer to him. Her mouth was slightly parted and her eyes scanned his before fluttering shut.

Offer and permission.

Azriel leaned in slowly and brushed his lips to hers. It was a feathery light touch. He could feel Elain shiver in his arms, and he held her closer. Tighter. He touched her lips with his again, and he knew he needed more. He tasted her lips once more, his tongue teasing her lower lip. Elain opened up for him, letting him in. She moaned when he deepened the kiss. When he pressed his lips more firmly to hers. When her tongue joined his. They were both panting, unable to stop. Elain’s hands went to Azriel’s hair, gently scraping his scalp while her tongue tangled with his. The sensation made Azriel crazy, and if she hadn’t been injured he would have lowered her to the bed and continued his kisses down her body until she was writhing underneath him, begging for more.

But she was hurt. And it was late.

Unwillingly, Azriel slowed down before breaking the kiss.

“More,” Elain panted and kissed his jaw.

Azriel chuckled. “Don’t be greedy.”

She pouted when he walked over to her bed, and it was the cutest pout Azriel had ever seen. It was so cute in fact, that he had to lean in again and kiss her lower lip. He didn’t know how it happened, but he was suddenly sitting on Elain’s bed with her in his lap. He was still holding her tight, her fingers still in his hair. Their lips were locked in another kiss. This one was even hotter. Even deeper. Azriel thought to himself that he didn’t need air if he could just taste these lips for the rest of his life.

After a small eternity, they did have to break apart though. Turns out the human body needs air. Stupid body.

Elain leaned her forehead against his.

“I should go,” Azriel said, even though every fiber of his being protested that statement.

She nodded. “Okay.” She was still out of breath. So was he.

Elain kissed his forehead, which made him feel oddly safe. “So, can I have a second date?”

Azriel chuckled and nuzzled her neck. She smelled divine. He wanted nothing more than to taste her there; just below her ear.

“You can have as many dates as you want.”

“Good to know.” He could hear the smile in her voice.

After a few minutes of catching their breaths, Azriel helped Elain into bed. He fetched her a glass of water for the painkillers and made sure that all her windows were closed.

He leaned against her doorframe, trying to memorize the sight of her in bed. She looked so cute. So vulnerable.

“Could you lock the door when you leave? My keys are on the kitchen counter. You can just put them in the mailbox.”

“Of course.” Azriel walked into her room again and leaned over her. He kissed the top of her head and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Sleep well, Elain.”

“You too, Azriel.”

She was already drifting off.

Azriel walked quietly through the apartment and made sure that the door was locked behind him.

Azriel was walking home on clouds that evening.

In his bones, he could feel that this was the start of something wonderful.

When he climbed into bed that night, he saw a new message from Elain. She must have sent it just after he left her place. He opened the message, and there was no text. Just an audio file.

He pressed play and was immediately met with her heavenly voice.

“I thought that this might help you sleep,” Elain whispered, and Azriel could feel tingles up and down his spine. “Thank you for a wonderful date, Azriel.”

And then she repeated his name. For five minutes, she was whispering “Azriel, Azriel, Azriel,” over and over again, and it made Azriel both sleepy and aroused.

It was actually a very pleasant feeling, he thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep.

That night, he dreamt about brown eyes, golden hair, and the sweetest lips he had ever tasted. Azriel had never felt better.

[dreamiesdotcom]

insomnia | h.rj

Summary: He thinks of it — eyes that look at thunderstorms in awe, hands hurriedly writing down words to describe it. Renjun can't sleep.

Word Count: 1.2k

Renjun can't sleep.

"What's so scary about being friends with me?" He remember himself asking, "What's so sca—"

You closed your book, sighing loudly as you took one glance at his face. You smiled at him sweetly, eyes glinting with something completely different. It's not a sight he's used to — you were pretty, sure, but you always looked serious, and you always looked void of emotions, but this one is too... rawly human. No masks, just skin — fragile, fragile skin, cold to the touch as if protecting itself from the world.

Renjun tried to not look as anxious as he felt — "What's so scary about having friends?"

You smiled.

"Loss."

Renjun doesn't think he's ever saw someone as lonely.

Very similar to now, he couldn't sleep that night too. He kept on wondering, he kept on dreaming awake; it's raining outside. He looked at you and knew you loved thunderstorms, and now he can't sleep through its calm; lovesick fool he was, he kept thinking of you.

"I—" a soft sigh, "I'm sorry. For brushing you off."

Renjun looked at where your hands grip at his wrist, shocked. He then laughed, "It's... it's alright. I shouldn't have been pushy."

"Take this, anyway," you said, handing him some of his favorite candy. "You were being nice. I... sorry."

Renjun never knew the reason you looked miserable that day, and he never asked.

To him, you are the brightest star — beautiful and distant, never at your reach but he wants you anyway. Harsh and tragic but very beautiful. You shined so bright it remained in his eyes.

The curtain swayed with the wind and change has come. Renjun finds growing up with you bittersweet — each and every day, this feeling in his chest remains stubborn and curious. He looks at you and everything around him doesn't exist, his chest seemingly a cage for a bird thirsting free flight. Change has come, and it came with fleeting butterflies and sweeter smiles.

It felt like being in love — not like he knew what it was, but he thought at that time, this must be what falling in love is.

Renjun hated every bit of it. He found you lovely — he didn't want to fall in love with you because oh, you're sweet. And you're haunting. You're devastatingly too good to be true, and once he fell in love with you, how can he even stop falling?

Renjun thinks that it's when you were standing under trees of autumn and they start falling in a way that could only be seen in ethereal dreams, when the sun rays seep through the auburn leaves and the wind blows ever so gently, making every movable thing dance, alongside same hearts — it's when it hits you.

That's when it hit him, at least. He remembers focusing his lens at the view in front of him and smiling a little, the perfect angle, and the perfect time; Renjun realizes that it's love, romantic more than anything else, that he feels when you smiled and turned to the camera.

"Renjun!" You squealed then, making him laugh. "I look bad!"

"No," he said softly. "You look beautiful."

Beautiful and scary, scary because loving you is an endless maze. Beautiful and terror. Beautiful and lonely. Tragic. Warm. Renjun didn't realize how much he wanted to hold you up until Lee Jeno's birthday party, the both of you swallowed by the high of winning a game that he ends up hugging you. He ends up kissing you.

You kissed him back, so he didn't think of it that much — but now, now that he knows... he thinks he should've been.

Once you step down from the euphoria, you pushed him away and ran outside.

He looked at you with pleading eyes, "Did I cross the line?"

He remembers kissing you. It was wonderful and saccharine, melancholic, confused. You felt as confused as you look with tears in both eyes.

"There —" you whispered weakly, "There is no line."

"There has to be," Renjun whispers with equal strength. The ground seems to sway and the next thing he knows, you're walking away.

You didn't talk to each other for at least two weeks. He found himself weak at the thought of you forgetting him. He found himself sorry for the things he did, but mostly he found himself regretful for the things he did not — he should've told you to stay, should've apologized, should've told you he loves you.

You call him on Friday. Renjun rushes to your home.

"Pizza sucks without you," you stated, a slight chuckle in your voice. The atmosphere remains as cold as it had been

"You mean it?"

"Of course I don't, pizza always tastes great," you even raise both slices slightly, "but yeah, I missed you."

"You... You're not mad I kissed you?"

"I... I needed time to stop. Stop being mad at you. For not telling me," it's fleeting, but you smiled, "I love you, and you hold me, and you won't let me go now, alright? I wi—"

Renjun does this one thing right — he kisses you again, and this time you don't push him away. Tonight, you let him stay. The butterflies in his stomach rise again, flying in some twisted fashion.

He couldn't fall asleep that night, too. Finally. He finally told you he loved you, and you love him back. The stars finally aligned, and for a moment, fate took his side.

Cuddled on the couch was a tangled mess of complicated roots and blossoming flowers — one, having been raised in a family that lived in a house that was never a home, another who nobody seemed to be able to look at the eyes of every year since six. An unlikely match of mismatches, misfits, ruined pasts, and bright futures. This is safe — it is safe, it's warm, feels oddly contented for two broken wholes connecting and meeting with seemingly the sole purpose of loving, of complementing, of being the courage needed to fix oneself — with each other. It was fate.

It was fate — it had to be.

"Love," you whispered. "I can't let you go,"

Please don't, he wanted to say, but instead, he asks: "Why would you want to let go of me?"

"I can't make you as happy as you were before I happened," you tried to cheekily smile, "I can't make you happy enough, and I can't let you go either."

"Don't," he whispered, and he didn't know what he meant, but it was genuine. "Don't let me go."

You looked at him with such bright eyes, innocent and charming and breaking his heart. It felt like first love, like falling once again. He gets that sinking feeling in his stomach, his heart beating erratically. He remembers how he hugged you close enough that you forget how it is to hate yourself.

And now, all he wants is to do that again.

He can't.

You two broke up months ago.

[honey-milk-depresso]

Meanie (Azul Ashengrotto x Reader) 3

part 1

part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8 (END)

“What do you mean they fainted..?”

“Well not really fainted, but rather just fell face flat all of a sudden.”

“Where are they now?”

“In the infirmary.”

Jade informed Azul what had happened in class. Apparently during alchemy class you fell face first flat onto the floor so abruptly, jerking and writhing.

Azul immediately rushed to see you. You’re his best friend, and well, maybe a little more to him..

but the fact doesn’t change that he still cares for you.

Whatever has happened to you, isn’t normal.

No alchemy accident when you fell? Certainly odd. At least there would be a potion to help you.

=============================================================

“What happened?”

“Huh? Oh Azul? I didn’t expect you to see me!”

Truthfully, you didn’t want him to see you like this, looking weak and helpless on a bed.

“Jade told me what happened. What’s going on?”

“Ah well... I eh, sorta tripped and fall! Ehehehe...” “This isn’t a joking matter, y/n. Face first flat on the floor? You could’ve injure yourself far worse.”

“Uh huh. But! It didn’t happen so...”

“You won’t always be lucky.”

A moment of silence came in.

“Mind telling me how you tripped?”

“Um...”

Great, how do you make a reasonable and real sounding excuse besides ‘ Oh I have Huntington’s Disease?’.

“It’s just... natural. I was born weird.”

NICE ONE-

Azul raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t convinced. But he didn’t want to pry any further. A hit to the head surely wouldn’t make anyone to question them further and give them more headache.

“Whatever. I have the VIP room ready if you wanna come tonight, but I suggest not judging by your current state.”

You suddenly jerked up.

“NO! I mean no! I- I can- um- um-”

“You want to come to the lounge?”

“Yeah!”

As your disease start growing, you have a harder time trying to find words. And plus the increased insomnia, you barely have enough energy. But you want to spend the most time with your friends before you go. You’re gonna give it your all to make sure you and everyone is happy, to make your death less sad.

“Call me. I’ll escort you to Monstro Longue once you feel better.”

“Alright!”

=============================================================

“Took you long enough.”

“Hehehe, yeah..”

You had a hard time trying to find Azul’s number, although he would appear at the very top because his name and surname start with the letter frickin’  ‘A’, the first letter of the alphabet. And dialing and trying to remember his phone number was a nightmare. You had to ask Crowley to help you find his contact.

“Is it really that serious?”

“What??? Nooooo.”

“You’re in a damn wheelchair, y/n.”

“Well... Idia made it so I can control it myself! It even has magic in it so it can go by voice demand!”

“You’re avoiding the subject.”

“Anyways come on! Quit making a fuss over it! Let’s play!”

He sighed, praying you it’s not going to be like the last game you had a while back.

“Okay, look at what I- um-”

“What did you bring now?”

“Right! Here! UNO!”

“Oh sevens-”

“Come on let’s play!”

===========================================================

“How are you winning????”

“You didn’t even put the right color. That’s green not blue.”

“Oh. Whoops! Hehehehe...”

Your brain was getting messier and messier in identifying now. You were scared on how your brain was degenerating slowly, because you felt like each second it was eating away every thing you once knew.

“Okay fine! Another round!”

=============================================================

“Y/n, has been acting odd lately.”

“Oya oya?”

It’s true. You never showed up to any of your classes anymore, and the teachers weren’t acknowledging it, almost as if you didn’t exist.

And you showed up at Octavinelle less frequently nowadays.

“Ne~? Oh yeah, koebi chan hasn’t showed up today. Or any day! Hmm~ who am I supposed to finish with the next level of my game?~”

“And she my mushrooms stop coming from her.”

“And... she hasn’t been talking to me..”

Azul never wanted to admit it, but he liked you a lot. No, scratch that, loved you a lot. Sure you were kind off ‘too out there’ and cause a lot of shenanigans, but he got Floyd as another example, you were always there for him, and you never fail to make him smile at least twice.

“Was it something I said..?”

============================================================

“Am...do I really have five months to live..?”

“I’m afraid so, y/n. I’m so sorry.”

You looked down and stared at the blanket folds.

Your life span was getting shorter and shorter, it felt meaningless to even find a will to live. By this point, you rather end your life now.

But then what about your friends? Grim, Ace and Deuce? Jade, Floyd and... Azul?

“I’m allowing this for you only, y/n. You get to do whatever you want, just, don’t cause too much trouble. It’s about time you tell everyone what’s really going on.”

You felt your heartbeat increased tenfold, like something was clutching your heart even when your hand weren’t near your chest, strangling you with a strong feeling of anxiety.

“I-”

Crowley looked you, pupils widening. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you looked like a mess. Your heavy eye bags now becoming more visible as your eyes became puffy red.

“I want to live longer for- for-”

Azul.

=============================================================

Sorry this one was short. This isn’t even close to the end-

bruh-

but I hope you enjoyed it and I’ll try making part 4. Until then, see ya!

[batarella]

3 birds 1 stone - chapter 12

‘Dick, Jason, and Tim. Supposed brothers 'till the end, until all three fall in love with you. Who wins your heart?

The man who earned it, the man who stole it, or the man who always had it?’

A/N: We continue the three perspectives!!! AND we got special appearances from a few characters today eeeeee we’re so close to the finale. Hope you guys enjoy this one!

WORDS: 12,068  WARNINGS: violence, arm dislocation, muscle injuries, alcoholism, mentions of coffee addiction and insomnia

MASTERLIST | 3 BIRDS 1 STONE MASTERLIST

-----

Dick:

That day, this all ends.

Telling himself he got into this mess because he hadn’t a choice, that he hadn’t already stopped because it was all just too riveting and captivating and not at all within his control, was nothing short of a lie.

He had every say in it.

But not even his fucking conscience could convince him to stop. He wanted this mess. Dove right into the lava. He knew every bit of the heartbreak he’d have to endure and he willingly brought it to himself. To get lost into the deep dark woods, with nothing more than an oil lamp, to be pricked by the many thorns and suffocated by the leaves and trees that crowd about much like a bush. To get lost in her, and never want to climb out of any of it. He knew how slippery the road ahead of him was and still he kept going, kept driving, sped up a little even when he thought he’d actually get to where the stars pointed him to.

But so profoundly was his loss of himself, without much effort at all to escape from those grasps even when he told himself he did; going to another woman, wanting the same arrest of his heart to hopefully take him away, but without halting those thoughts of Y/N and how her smile that he’d seen earlier that day would last until dark, maybe even beyond that. Those flares of her face and her voice and how he let them speak to her every night, change them into burning whispers against his ear when he’s memorized her voice too much to make her say anything he wanted her to, even when they only last in his head.

Dick never tried to stop her from taking her heart like that, even when he had to watch her be with another.

Tonight, it all ends. Every bit of this torture that he brought only to himself, it all comes to this sorry halt.

Dick, standing atop a roof of an office building in Dresher, knew that at that moment, he had to sit this one down. He had to be alone and in the darkness to make this as painful as it possibly could, hoping that if all that pain were to be felt now, compress them into this little tub of static blackness, then perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad the next day, and the day after that. Even when he knew this would backfire, he had to.

No one, especially not Y/N, would want him to end up with her. Tim deserved her. Hell, even Jason’s done a lot more for her sake than he had. He can't hope anymore. He can't let this go on.

All this would have gone better if he’d known this sooner.

So with him on that rooftop, sitting on the ledge fifty stories above as if not at all was he a push away from death, Dick let his finger scroll across his phone’s screen moist from his sweat. The battery was going to run out soon. He’d been there for hours, staring at that same picture of her from the day in the nursery, when the sun had been kind to her, touching the surface of her skin so perfectly, it showed more of the little details that he’d already memorized. Those exact images would be thrown out by the end of tonight. Pack their bags. Scram them out the door.

It had, as expected, proven to be difficult.

The thirty-seven pictures he took that day, he’d already heartly remembered by the end of it. Countless of times, he pulled them out of his pocket just to take a second to look, even at the worst. Another month had passed and nothing had happened much since, nothing out the ordinary, which meant their friendship was back to how it used to be. They were friends.

And that was why it ends tonight. Because if he doesn’t fight these thoughts, if he doesn’t fight her, he loses her. He loses this friendship.

Are you sure you want to delete this photo?

Confirm.

Confirm.

Confirm.

Thirty-six times, he let his finger do the talking. Not his heart. Not even his brain.

At the last one, the screen was too distorted by a fallen tear that had seeped out of his domino mask for him to go on. It was the only hindrance he needed to give up and stop. At least for a second.

But he couldn’t even dwell on it too much, or let himself cry, let it burn his skin off enough so it wouldn’t hurt any more afterwards. He couldn’t even let himself have that luxury when he heard the thudding noise of his brother’s boot-cladded feet, a Bo staff that hit the ground, and a black cape that enforced a gust of wind to blow against the back of his head.

Dick just closed his eyes, and just after that, Tim walked over to stand right behind him.

Greatest Detective in the World. But even an idiot would know what he was up to, sitting in the darkness crying while his feet dangle off a rooftop’s ledge, eyes to his phone like he was reading the saddest sob story in the whole world or that he’d just received a text that one of his loved ones’ lives had been taken away from cancer.

The way Tim was silent, he knew.

And Dick just let him believe it, without even a word to explain himself, he did. He let Tim’s mind do the figuring out and the explaining because not even his own words would be half that truth.

Tim’s voice that night wasn’t the kind he heard often.

“You think this is the right time for that, Dick?”

A crack on his knuckles, his throat sounding rough and beaten, Dick didn’t know what to even say.

“We called you fifteen times over at the bridge. We needed you-“

“Sorry-“

“And it turns out you’ve been at your phone the whole time-“

“You handled it without me.”

“That isn’t the fucking point.”

A month of silence, since that deathly night after they took Y/N home. Several minutes, together in one car, had proven to be one of the most insufferable moments of his life. And not surprisingly, it went on for even more days after that.

Dick turned off his phone, but Tim snatched it away from his hands and walked away so Dick couldn’t grab it.

He stood from the ledge. “Come on, Tim. Not cool.”

“Hmm. Cute,” Tim faked a smile and swiped around the screen, at the last picture of Y/N he had. “Could have sent it to me. And Jason.”

“Tim-“

“But it’s cool,” Tim said. He threw the phone back at Dick and he caught it just before it hit the ground. “All good. Finally, you have something of her all to yourself, right?”

Tim was Tim. Not this. Not someone so angry and grievous and someone who was looking at him that way with so much disgust when he used to be that young boy of fourteen who looked at his older brother like a god. How long, he thought, must he have kept all this frustration bundled up inside, where not even he could reach into. Someone who’s so calm, so in control of what he says, had finally given in and let his annoyance flourish about. He wondered, as anyone would, at what point Tim had finally had enough of all of this.

“Tim, please-“

“You,” Tim pointed his gloved finger right at Dick’s face.

“You were supposed to be my brother.”

.

Tim:

Of course, he’s had enough.

He’s had enough of all this a lot longer than anyone else, even he, would have thought.

It might have been since that day Y/N was crying over an argument they once had, over something he can't even remember, that almost pried them apart, only for Dick to come along and console her without telling Tim where he was, and he only knew because Y/N told him what happened. If she hadn’t, Tim wouldn’t have known.

He wouldn’t have known Dick had long been pining over the love of his life, never mind how she was in his arms and kissing his lips and calling for his name.

Dick, who could have literally anyone he could possibly wish for, just had to want her.

“What do you want me to say?” The asshole started after a moment’s silence, of nothing but a helicopter’s whirl from far above, the lack of light from everywhere around them, and their footsteps against the empty cement.

He couldn’t even look at his brother in the eye with his mask on, but he knew enough to know what he felt. It didn’t matter if he was sincere. It didn’t even matter that he cried.

“Nothing,” Tim said. “You’ve done your damage.”

“Damage?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Enlighten me.”

Tim scoffed and faked yet another laugh. It annoyed himself at that point.

“You are unbelievable-“

“I’m not trying to do anything with her anymo-“

“Don’t even start with that, asshole.”

Tim’s hands were shaking, and subconsciously he tried to repress those tremors, hoping they’d go away if he clenched them enough, but they only got worse.

“She was mine,” he cried. “And you just couldn’t handle that-“

“I never tried anything with her when you were together.” Dick tried to step closer to him but he just backed away.

“So you weren’t just waiting for us to break up so you’d swoop in and be the hero?” he scoffed. “I asked you to make sure she was okay, not take advantage of her hurting just so you’d have your chance.”

“And why did you break up, Tim?” He had the audacity to ask. “You didn’t love her anymore-“

“You knew I still did-“

“Then why hurt her?!”

“Because I was hurting her anyway!”

Never. He’s never been this angry. Not that he could recall.

“I was 17. Everything about me changed. Wayne Enterprises. Red Robin. Fucking Bruce dying and coming back to life. She was there but I was about to lose my fucking mind. I thought she didn’t have a place in all that mess anymore so I broke it off.”

Finally, he stepped close enough to Dick, almost to leveling with his height. His brother had his lips hidden, hands falling to his sides.

He looked terrified.

“Two seconds after that, I never regret anything more my whole fucking life. I thought talking to you would make her feel better, but you just couldn’t help but bat your pretty little eyes at her when she was vulnerable. I wanted to go back but I couldn’t ‘cuz you were already there!”

He was snarling, and a growl escaped his throat by the time he backed away. Tim didn’t even get to hear himself until he saw his own reflection in the white of Dick’s mask.

But Dick. He didn’t even take it as a hint to just shut up and take his rambling.

“I never meant to keep her away from you-“

“I went to you, Dick.” Tim wiped his lips with the back of his gloves, watched over to the next building to avoid his brother’s face. “I always went to you for help. With her. You know how long I’ve wanted her. And I went to you because I thought you were my brother and you’d help me.”

“I did help you!”

“You were helping yourself!”

His hands slammed against Dick’s chest, and it was a good thing he didn’t fight back. He would have just taken that as an excuse to keep hitting.

“Tim,” Dick held his hands up. Tim backed away. “Just go to her-“

“THIS ISNT ABOUT HER ANYMORE, ASSHOLE!”

Hands shoving his chest once again. This time, Dick had caught them, held them by his wrists enough so Tim couldn’t pull them away.

“THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND ME, GRAYSON!” Tim screamed. “WHAT HAPPENED TO HAVING EACH OTHER’S BACKS!”

“YOU THINK IT WAS MY CHOICE TO GET IN BETWEEN YOU!?”

It was from a whip of strength not even he had known prior, but it hurt when he finally could take his hands off of Dick’s grip, and with that, he backed further away, though his eyes couldn’t stray from looking straight into his brother’s.

“IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER IF IT WAS-“

“THEN I’M SORRY!’ Dick swallowed. “IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?!”

“No,” Tim’s knees hit the railing and so close did he fall, but he kept himself up, rubbed the bottom of his chin with his gloved hand. “You're not sorry…”

Dick’s silence. Even more so did he want to just lunge at him and strangle his vocal chords. No matter how far-fetched, Dick was supposed to tell him all the things he wanted him to say. So far, he’s said none of that.

Dick just watched when Tim turned around to rest his weight onto his palms, looking out into the open seeking for just about any kind of help there was that he could call out from the wind, but there was nothing.

“You're right,” Dick said, and Tim felt the cement crack from beneath his palms. “I’m not sorry.”

“Fucking bold of you-”

“What would have happened to her if I hadn’t stepped in?” He heard Dick’s voice louder and clearer, which meant he was walking closer towards him.

“I would have come back. I always wanted to come back, but by then she was all over you. I couldn’t-“

Tim looked at his own hands. “I had it coming. I can't blame her.”

Another whiff of air, and it blew the strands of his black locks right onto his eyelids. They stung, but he didn’t push them away. He just kept his eyes locked onto the blankness of the gray, the dark that went all the way into his spirit.

“But I do blame you-“

“Tim, you hurt her-”

“AND YOU HAVENT?!”

Dick caught his Bo staff, which Tim had thrown right at him as swiftly as he turned around. His mouth was as dry as his palms were sweating. His teeth were close to breaking. And his eyes dangerously drifting off into some unknown nowhere just so he wouldn’t have to look at such betrayal.

“Tim-“

Tim was shaking, or at least his hands were, when he gave into his impulses and moved so fast, grabbing Dick by the collar and standing him down.

“You stand there blaming me for all that hurt when here you are-“

“What the hell do you want me to say to you?!”

He was strong, stronger than any one of them would have thought. Dick couldn’t even move, much less out of shock than it was out of his hold on him too overwhelming to counter.

“Tim, this isn’t like you-“

“You have no idea what I’ll do,” Tim growled. “Why do you think I became Red Robin?”

To separate himself from the likes of what it used to be. To not be Robin anymore. To stray away from his ideals, ideals and morals no longer his.

Because he was, in his truest capacity, capable of much darker things than people seem to know. Even his own brother.

“I hate you-“

Dick, who took that second to take advantage of weakness, grabbed him by the wrists and pushed him off with the soles of his feet, not enough to send him to the ground but enough to almost topple him. And when he looked up, immediately, Tim’s fist headed for his brother’s head, but again it was caught by Dick’s palm.

“HEY, HEY, HEY, ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU!”

A much deeper, louder voice, the third one to be heard that night. It was that, and two strong arms that grabbed Tim by the shoulder and Dick by his suit’s back. Even when it wasn’t even to much effect, they stopped.

At least, for a second they did, before Tim started for Dick’s neck and he had to be held back with a strong hand right against his chest. “Let me go!”

“What the hell is going on with you two!?”

“Stay out of this Jason!”

It was easier for Jason to stand right in between, just to stop either of them from going after their skin. Dick had stopped. Tim, on the other hand, had to be held back by the shoulders. “Tim, calm down!”

“I said stay out of this!”

.

Jason:

“One of you pinheads tell me what’s going on!”

“Are you really gonna let Jason fight your battles, Dick?!”

Tim tried to push Jason out of the way. He was lucky, in fact, that none of them could see the irate look on his face hidden behind the safety of a red helmet. Otherwise they might have started for him too, just at how disgusted he looked at them both. And he had every right to be. He knew exactly why they were fighting. It was the devil in him who felt like asking.

Jason held him back with his cape. “Hey, KNOCK IT OFF-“

“Let go of me!”

“You don’t think I wanna bash this asshole’s brains out everyday, Tim?!” Jason hauled him to the floor. “Trust me. You can hold back.”

“Oh, fuck you, Todd.”

“You shut up.” Jason pointed at Dick. “If this is about Y/N I know exactly why Tim wants you dead.”

“And why am I the one you two’re ganging up on?!”

“If I was, Dick, I’d just let this one have at it with you. Thank me later.” Jason said, nodding over at Tim. Tim shrugged off his brother’s hold on him and frowned.

“You were never the one to trust, Dick,” Tim gulped. And Jason knew Dick would have thought the same. His flaring eyes, the burn that was almost never there from someone so usually calm. It was unnerving seeing Tim this way. “Look at everyone you’ve hurt. Y/N. Kori. When are you going to stop?”

“Don’t you fucking start with me, you little-“

“Hey! Knock it off!” Jason pushed Dick again with a shove of his hand. Dick stepped back.

“Jason, just get out of here -“

“I don’t know, man; Feels like I have to be the responsible one. For once.”

Tim grabbed Jason’s hand and hauled him to the side so he could step closer to where Dick was standing. “You don’t want to be a part of this.”

Jason, if not at all wanting that to be true in the slightest sense, didn’t fight back and took Tim’s shoving. But, as he’d thought, Dick was the one who looked at him so slyly he wanted to grab his lips and use them to haul him over the building.

Suddenly, every part of his skin wanted to burst, blood beating through every inch of vessel and flesh so much it burned him. His mouth sewed shut, ears hurting at the redness. Again, if not for the helmet, it would have been a dead giveaway.

But Dick wasn’t having it.

“Trust me, Tim. He already is.”

“What the hell do you mean-“

“I said, enough. You two settle this at home.”

Jason tried for Dick’s shoulder just to push him to back away, but he threw his hand off.

“Don’t fucking act like the good guy between the three of us,” Dick said. “What are you gonna say next? That this isn’t what Y/N would want?”

“You think it is?!”

Dick chortled and he turned away. Tim still wouldn’t let his glare away from his brother and if Jason would let him, he’d have mauled him to death.

“You always did think you knew what was best for her, didn’t you?”

“Jason, what the hell is he talking about?”

He never told him. The bastard never told Tim when he was so sure he would, when he basically told him that night outside Y/N’s doorstep that by the end of the hour, Tim would know what he’d done and he’d have found Jason by the next, even when he tries too hard to disappear, which he had tried to do for four months, hiding from his brother, and not long after he’ll never be welcomed into the manor as so much as a guest. It did surprise him, after many months, that Tim hadn’t so much as acknowledged it. Part of him wanted to believe Tim didn’t care, or had already forgiven Y/N and in turn forgiven him.

But, of course, Dick hadn’t told him. The asshole wanted this to drag out as painfully long as he possibly could. Make him carry that burden himself just because he thought it was right, as Tim’s brother, even when he wanted no part of those niceties.

“You wanna tell him?” The blue leotard wearing ass said. “Or should I?”

“Don’t fucking bring me into this shitshow-“

“Brother, you walked right into it yourself.”

“I will kill you,” Jason growled. “One of these days.”

“Tell me what?”

Tim’s voice, the softest it had been since the start of that night.

He shouldn’t.

His little brother, one whose relationship had proven far too difficult to build, if there was ever a chance at a good relationship at all. His brother. An established brotherhood he once despised so much, took too many years just for it to be something tolerable. His little brother.

He never had a little brother like Tim. Perhaps even now, he wouldn’t. Not once he knows.

“Tim, I-“

“Jason, tell me what’s going on.”

Dick no longer even had that smirk on him. He just looked sad for the both of them, as he should be. As anyone should be.

“Just tell him.”

So much did his fist want to just fly and land straight at Grayson’s perfectly chiseled cheekbones, break his face so much he wouldn’t live to stand a day.

But Jason had grown too silent, too guilty.

He couldn’t even take off his helmet and look at either of them in the eye.

Tim stepped right in front of him and on his face kind of worry that often lingered prior to it being the worst rage to ever engulf into.

Was there a way out of this? To counter the impact? Make it so it didn’t hurt so much?

If Grayson had just told him, it wouldn’t have to be this way.

“Jason-“

He looked up, and through the slits of his visor, he knew Tim wanted to look at him in the eye, to find something out of this truth.

“I…”

His throat, it hurt to even breath. And when this happened, he usually takes the helmet off. This time, however, he couldn’t do that. Not when he had so much to say despite him not wanting to.

“I slept with her…”

It was a shame Dick didn’t look too much like an ass right then. If he did, he’d have a reason for himself to just jump at him with a knife. But all he could even see, all he could bring himself to watch, was his feet.

Nothing else. Not when Tim was looking at him that way.

“What?”

“I slept with her-“

Tim.

Was it even Tim anymore? The boy in front of him? Who never looked at him with so much betrayal?

“When?”

“A few months ago…” he said. “Lasted about a month.”

Then, it wouldn’t even have mattered if it were him who broke the news, the asshole that Dick was, or the Gotham Times.

Tim.

No longer his little brother. Never will be again.

Right for the neck. That’s where Tim pounced a second less than he was smart enough to move away.

 .

Dick:

That asshole deserved it.

But if anyone deserved it more than Jason did, it was Dick.

Was it to divert Tim’s attention from himself? Give him a breather and a while for Tim’s anger to mellow down taking it out on Jason so he doesn’t take it out on him so much? Possibly.

But the moment Tim’s hands squeezed the living daylights out of Jason’s neck, he knew he shouldn’t have brought it up. It was wrong. This was all wrong.

He started for Tim’s arms, grabbing them both just to at least give Jason enough time to breath, but this newfound strength certainly wasn’t one he’d expected. When he did manage to pull them off, Tim swung his fist right at Dick’s face.

Then, he went back for Jason, who then took that short time to grab both his fists and stop them for hurling him over the roof.

This was his fault. This was his doing.

And all the more did he want this to end when Jason held Tim strong enough to make him scream, and with that, he threw another punch right for his helmet, shattering the visor beneath his bruised knuckles. Jason tried to kick him away with his knee, but Tim was pushing him.

Jason, who should have been a lot stronger, was not doing much to fight Tim. And instead, he tried talking him out of it.

“Tim!” he coughed. Tim still holding both fists went on to push him. “Tim, stop!”

Head slam against his helmet, and it broke, enough for a part of it to be chipped off and expose his forehead.

Jason finally hurled Tim over to the ground just so he could wipe the blood stain off from seeping down his eyes, but that wasn’t much of a good idea. Not when Tim took that as a chance to jump for his brother, grabbing him by the shoulders, and with the forces of their own bodies flying across the wind, the railing wasn’t enough to stop their fall.

Tim and Jason fell over the building, down fifty stories with one’s hands wrapped around the others throat, and Tim went on to strangle him even as they fell.

Dick, without even thinking much, dove into that same abyss. Did he have a plan? No. Was this going to work anyway? Probably not. But he had to try.

At least, it was all he had to do. When Dick leapt, head soaring straight down for a car so miniscule that wouldn’t be so small the more he wastes time, his brothers thrashing bodies that broke the speed of their fall worked to his sorry advantage and Dick managed to catch up.

He grabbed Tim off, thankfully with the fall lessening his grip but not at all did it change the murderous look on his face. This wasn’t his brother. This can't be him. This was someone who had all his frustrations bottled up in the form of coffee addiction, insomnia, and workaholic tendencies, someone who hadn’t vented out his hurt and anger at him, who he apparently had been hating for a while.

When he had him in his grasps, Dick grappled up to the next building. “Jason, hold on!”

It was, in actuality, the worst idea he’s ever come up with. Other than the fact that Tim weighed a good 170 pounds, Jason was no lighter. Not even in the slightest. And carrying both of them? He might as well be hauling up a whole tank.

That one single grappling hook showed them no appreciation despite it holding on the best it could. And it was to no help that the hook landed on a building too far.

They were just yards up the ground when the rope tightened, and the impact on Dick’s arm he was sure had the bone dislocated. A scream was all he could muster at the shooting pains that went all the way up his neck, but still, he held on, and even when it lasted no more than a few seconds, it was all too agonizing not to feel like it lasted hours.

All it took was to at least break the fall, but that was all he could handle. Dick let go of the grapple gun and they were falling across the whole block, across the street over to an abandoned lot with junkyard cars and probably some broken glass scattered across the ground.

Tim landed on top of one of the cars, breaking the windshield under his weight. Jason wasn’t so lucky, rolling across the cold cement with it hitting his helmet, enough to expose his face.

And Dick, with it not helping his arm at all, landed right against the fenced border and fell to the ground. Some wire sticking out might have impaled his skin.

He was breathing. Was he still breathing? There was throbbing. Redness. Blood that went to his eyes, most probably. He could hear his heart and basically the rest of his senses going haywire.

When he looked up, already Tim could stand, right on top of the cars.

Now lacking his Bo staff, Tim smashed the broken metal beneath his feet and pulled out a slab hard enough to break bones.

 .

Tim:

If Dick were smart, he should have let him die.

This was always how he was, how this was all going to boil down to. His so many ways of dealing with loss, heartbreak, and stress, it was never going to hold him back enough if he hadn’t an outlet. And this, tonight, this was all part of the inevitable. He did what he promised Y/N. He kept off the coffee and had eight hours of sleep every day. But did it mean it warded off his thoughts on her? On his brothers? On their betrayal and how much he’d been holding that all off for months? Not even close. In fact, they grew worse.

Who does he start with?

Dick was all the way over at the fence. Wounded. Dislocated arm. He pulled himself up and went for a wall he could smash his shoulder against just to pull back the bone.

And Jason.

Shit.

Should have went for him first.

Two glocks in his hands. This man wasn’t afraid in the slightest.

“Jason, don’t!” Dick cried. Too late. He already shot one of the cars.

Tim spun about just to dodge at least the shattered glass. He was aiming for his legs, at all the parts of his body that wouldn’t be so lethal. How kind of him.

Which meant, that if it were the vital parts of him exposed, Jason wouldn’t shoot.

So he didn’t even try to hide himself, his chest especially, when he hurled himself over the many car hoods and roofs. Jason kept going, and this time he went to shooting the glass on purpose. Probably to hit him with the shards.

Tim reached the wall and pushed his feet so he’d roll on the ground. Cape up, he looked through the many places to hide, but he didn’t want to hide. What he wanted was to grab one of them, any of them, by the shoulders, pin them to the ground, and have his fist have at it with their stupid faces.

He ran up to Jason, cape protecting his legs and arms, and just as he did Dick had crept up behind him, grabbing Jason by a headlock. Elbow to Dick’s chest, he took that as a chance to grab his guns and throw them over to the side. So close did he miss one of the bullets, if grazing his shoulder was ever a miss. But he ignored that hiss and landed a hit on Jason’s stomach.

But not even that could last long, with Jason practically subdued. Dick set Jason aside to block Tim’s fist from landing anywhere near either of them. He kept hitting, swinging, it was all a blur after the third time he felt his shoulders hurt. And Grayson’s was no better. So he aimed for it.

What was he doing?

Foot landing on Dick’s pelvis. It was enough for his body to skid across the ground. He looked up at his brother, teeth gritting so much that it hurt, Tim didn’t move fast enough before he could move away from Dick’s fist, which landed a good one right to his teeth.

 .

Jason:

This was the most ridiculous fight he’s ever been on. No different from a fucking pellet gun war over at the gardens that one time they were drunk and stupid. This was a game, one he really didn’t want to play. He should have known, and what he thought that time was that somehow, she was worth going through all this chaos for. That moment of bliss, that month of beauty and serenity and peace, was it worth this? With his own brothers?

It wouldn’t have been if it was just a month of beauty and serenity and peace. But it wasn’t just about that anymore, was it?

So this had to be worth it. In every way. With Dick and Tim over a few yards away, Dick holding his shoulder and trying so hard to avoid being hit there and Tim so unruly and angry and being so taken over with his rage, not at all was he anything like this before tonight.

He had the choice. To grab the gun that had skidded over to his side, shoot them both in the shoulder to put everything to a stop, or join in on their rumble to drag this out as long as inhumanely possible. Three different men who knew exactly what the others’ moves will be, this wasn’t going to last very long if it were to be a good way.

But, if this were to be dealt with bullets, he can say goodbye to either of them of ever being his brother again, to never be a part of this family so hard to love but love nevertheless.

He stopped his hand from reaching for the gun, and with that, he started for the two.

Jason grabbed Tim’s ankle just before it would have landed on Dick’s chin, threw him to the side so he’d land on the floor.

Dick’s fist, which would have hit Tim, instead hit Jason right at the nape of his neck. He almost toppled over to the ground, and with that flash of rage, he struck back at Dick right at his bad shoulder. Might have been too far. But he didn’t care.

Tim hit his back, right up against his sharp knee. He cried out at the unnerving bellows that went straight to his head, picked himself up just before he hit the ground.

Another hit for his head, but Dick had stopped it with his own hand, twisted Tim’s ankle so he’d once again lose his balance and fall.

Three different men.

Three different fights.

Three men who knew each other far too well to be beaten so easily.

They jostled and rolled about, around the junkyard over so many of the cars and the broken glass and even the fence that had long blown over. This wasn’t at all supposed to be what they’d spend the night on, but with the slabs of metal being thrown, the cars almost hurled up with their peak human strength, their limbs flailing, some barely missing a nerve on their head and some wrecking a whole tooth out of their mouth, it was not, to even some capacity, ever going to end as well as any of them hoped.

And with them at the middle of the barren empty grounds, Jason dodging Dick’s fist only to meet Tim’s knee, Dick being absolutely smothered by Tim’s head smashing against his, and Tim being pinned to the ground by either of his brothers larger than him that he hated so much.

It all would have ended in death, after the kind of blur that clouded so much of their moral thought and any kind of sense at all to remind them of what they were doing, if not for something far too strong for them to easily swerve from.

Or, better yet, three things too strong for them to swerve from.

At a whiff so quick for any of them to have possibly even sensed, a flash of purple was the first to wave off that blur from their eyes. And it went for Tim.

Stephanie was first to subdue him, holding Tim down with her knee landing right at the small of his back. He cried out both at the shock he hadn’t expected and the pulsing pain that probably went all the way up his spine, but he was done. Steph had grabbed Tim’s head and pinned him down right against the floor.

The next one was Dick, and before any of them could even turn, something so brightly blinding, a figure of yellow, fell from one of the cars’ hood and grabbed Dick by the neck. Duke was smaller, but not at all was that some disadvantage. His huge armored arms, locking Dick enough for him to just flail his hands about, it was enough to make him stop.

And, just as he expected, the next thing he saw after that flash of a second he was spared, was a blur of black so silently creeping up on him, Jason couldn’t move even when he knew it was coming. No one could have seen it. Not even him. By the next second, he was bent over one of the cars, hands to his back, and Cassandra had a taser stuck to his hip.

“NO, NO, NO, CASS DON’T-“

Barely enough to fry him unconscious, but enough to fucking electrocute his skin off so his muscles could barely move.

 .

Dick:

This should all have ended sooner than it even happened.

And the shame crept in, not even when he stopped struggling against Duke’s hold on him, but when Barbara, the last to come into the scene, flew in from the window right across.

She looked like she wanted to murder all three of them by a rope around their necks. One single rope. Having three just wouldn’t be worth it.

She took off her cowl and let her red hair fall to her back, so they’d easily see just how disgusted she looked at them all, at the look on her eyes, at the look on all their eyes.

“Duke, let me go-“

“I’m sorry, Dick.”

“Please.”

“If we could, Nightwing,” Babs swallowed. “I’ll have you tied to that streetlamp for the rest of the night.”

Jason tried to reach for something in the car just to kick Cass away, but she tased him again. Some smoke flew up from his flesh.

“Cass, that’s enough,” Babs said.

Cass glared at them all, then settled to just holding Jason down with his arms.

“Is anyone going to tell me what the hell is going on with you three?”

“Maybe if you get your foot out of my head, Steph, I’d actually get my brain back and answer her question,” Tim said.

“You lost your brain when you fell down that building.”

“You saw that?”

Steph snorted. “You’re lucky I didn’t jump in until I had all of us on call.”

“Lucky?!”

Steph twisted Tim’s arm and his cries could be heard over to the next block.

Jason tried, again, to break free from Cass’s hold, but her fist wasn’t one to welcome when it landed much like a bat would’ve right up against Jason’s head.

And Tim, who almost pried Steph’s knee from against his back, was just pinned down again not even a second after breaking free.

They were too tired to go up against any of them.

So Dick, knowing there was no other, prettier way out of this, let go of his hands from gripping too hard on Duke’s arm. He didn’t let go, but it had loosened, enough for him to properly talk. Babs went over to him. That dagger-infested glower stuck through, but at least there was some appreciation for his lack of resistance.

“It was a misunderstanding-“

“Was it?!”

Babs clenched her jaw.

“This is about her, isn’t it-“

Tim’s voice echoed. “No!”

.

Tim:

He growled and shoved Steph’s hand away, but they kept on his arms, pushing them down against his spine. She was strong enough to subdue him, stronger now that he was exhausted and his muscles were all strained, but that didn’t mean he was, in any way, going to back down from this fight. This wasn’t over.

He could crane his head up enough to look at Babs.

“This is about these two traitors who lied to my face for months!”

Steph was having too much trouble keeping him down. “Tim!”

“Are you really going to take their side?!”

“No one is taking anyone’s side here.”

Babs eyed Cass at least to make her loosen her grip on Jason’s twisted arms. Cass rolled her eyes, sighed, and still without a word, she grabbed Jason by the back of his collar to make him stand. But it wasn’t without her taser stuck up to his side.

“Cass, I’m not gonna fucking fight you-“

“Just shut up, Jay,” Dick said, and with that, Duke tightened his arm.

“They wanna know,” Tim panted. “Tell them all why we’re in this mess.”

His voice, all broken and rageful and so unlike what anyone would have thought. It turned the heads of everyone around. Steph loosened her hand around Tim’s neck much out of her own disbelief.

“Stabbing me in the back the way you did…”

“Tim, you don’t have to-“ Babs went on, but Tim’s screams were too much.

“Tell them! Say why you’re all a bunch of ass-“

“You’re the one who wanted this to be some shitshow!” Jason’s teeth shouldn’t last long with how much he was gritting them when he hissed and snarled at Cass, who poked the taser just beneath his hip.

“Cass, enough with the taser.”

“Yeah, Cass,” Jason said. “Where the hell did you even get that?”

“Some douchey police officer over at Chinatown,” Duke said to him while still keeping his hands on Dick.

Something so foreign, so unruly and aggressive, it was taking too much control over him. Tim’s eyes were burning, and there weren’t even any tears. His blood pulsed through every vein, strong enough for it to hurt, and loud enough for him to hear it through his bloodied ears.

Tim pushed Steph away and for a moment, he was free. He wasn’t even thinking anymore. He just wanted his hands squeezing the voice out of Jason’s neck.

Babs grabbed him by the cape just as Steph caught up, and again he was on the floor. Still, he screamed, thrashed about because everything within him just yelled for him to finally let it out. He was done being the nice guy, done being the brother they both pushed around, took advantage of, lied to, and picked on because they knew he’d never fight back.

“Tim…” Babs helped Steph holding him down. She looked up at Dick. “What the hell did you do to him?”

“Nothing we can't sort out!”

“Jesus, Dick,” Jason snorted. “You haven’t said one smart thing all day.”

“Like you're any better, you asswipe.”

“Enough!”

Babs stood right between them, otherwise they’d have lunged for each other even if they had a missile launcher aimed for their heads.

“Let me go. Duke,” Dick said. “I’m not gonna fight any of you-“

“Yeah, three seconds ago you were close to running Jason’s head through a windshield.”

“Just let me go and we’ll all calmly-“

“Calmly?” Duke laughed. “I saw you fall down that building from where I stood. None of you know what calm is.”

Duke’s voice was stern and not at all did he sound like he’d trust him enough for that, no different than Steph’s or even just the look in Cass’s eyes. Because, if anything, other than the utter disgust, disdain, and disappointment, everything before them was something not to easily believe.

Not long after, before anything even happened, before Tim heard that first trace of a large black cape and the heavy soles that would have broken the cement floor underneath if he hadn’t purposely landed so swiftly, with the shadow that wasn’t in fact a shadow, but a suit so terrifying, dark, and so close to invisible, it was the night in a physicality no two people could similarly describe.

Tim knew he’d get here first, before anyone else even turned their heads. Because he stopped with his cries and faced his untimely doom. Face to the ground, quiet and unmoving. Everyone else followed but that was after he’d already appeared.

Not even anyone from the likes of the worst villains had seen the look on Bruce’s face as close to the one he had right then.

 .

Jason:

If he were alone, he’d just have snorted. The look on Grayson and Drake’s face. Couldn’t be drawn.

He’s seen that same frown on Bruce every time he shoots a damn gun, which was every night. He could paint it by memory and he wouldn’t miss a detail. The squinted white of his eyeholes, his lips forlorn and flat. His hands, clenched enough for it to hurt, hidden beneath his cape. Oh, Dad. Did I do that?

These guys just needed some getting used to.

And he shouldn’t be amused at the fact that at least, for once, he wasn’t the only one in trouble this time. Tim looked ashamed. Dick looked like he’d seen a ghost. Dick should have known this, at least. He’s steered up a few times of trouble himself. Nothing like what he’s done, that’s for sure. But he shouldn’t be so stricken. Still, he was, which made it all the more inappropriate if he were to smirk right then.

Damian was right beside him. He wasn’t entertained, or intrigued, what he usually was watching his father tell off his brothers. In fact, he looked bothered. Like they’d just taken so much of his time away from what he’d rather be doing, which apparently was more interesting than this.

Ah. Of course. An out-of-town mission. Just Batman and Robin. They left Babs in charge. Probably why she looked just as horrified as Dick, hands to her side and keeping the slight shake of her palms hidden. It seems she prepared for anything to happen on patrol that night, anything Bruce prepared her for being the boss. What they hadn’t prepared for, apparently, was them.

“Batman, I-“ Babs swallowed. “We have this under control. You can go back to-“

“Let them go.”

Chills down everyone’s wobbly spines at his growling voice proved more terrifying under the filter near his neck. Everyone except Jason, of course. But he can't be so relaxed. Cass was getting suspicious. He just felt her hands tighten even more around his wrists.

But perhaps, he should be afraid. He’s gotten into mounds of trouble, but it was never anything like this.

He snorted again. They hadn’t hurt anybody. It was just them three and their lack of brain. They’ll be fine.

He hoped.

“Bruce, they’re trying to kill each other-“

“They can try.”

Babs, right then, might be the one to kill them right after. Maybe with her bare hands. Maybe with a truck. With a deathly, silent scowl at all of them, she nodded.

Duke was first to let go of Dick, and with that a pat on the back. Dick rubbed the back of his neck, stayed put and didn’t even step away. He was relaxed. Ashamed, but relaxed. He just stretched out his limbs and already everyone was satisfied.

Next, it was Jason. With a reluctant Cass finally letting him go, and the taser, Jason tumbled over to the nearest car hood just to keep himself up. That fucking taser robbed him of his knees. How many volts was that thing?

Finally, Steph swung her legs over from holding down Tim’s body and helped him up. She dusted off his back, apologized under her breath. He probably had a lot to say if it weren’t for the seven other pairs of eyes on him, watching him from letting out so much as a twitch.

Tim didn’t shove her away so he could go back to poking Jason’s eyeballs out. He just stood there and stared at him like Jason and Dick were lucky everyone else was around. Which, he probably was. He wasn’t going to deny that.

The last people to be so afraid of Bruce were the three of them, the perpetrators, the reason for this little reunion. So instead of letting out something so cocky and unapologetic, something so at the borders of causing Bruce to have an aneurysm, not one mouth resisted from being kept shut. It was the kind of silence that wasn’t often expected from such an unusual family.

And Bruce looked at the three of them not with anger, or dismay, or even annoyance.

He looked disappointed.

Which, arguably, makes it a whole lot worse. Hell, even for him. He’s been yelled at since the day he came back and all of a sudden a little fight with his brothers is what brings him to shame.

Bruce was unmoving, so his voice startled and shook.

“All this…” he said. “For her…”

No one spoke. Not even a cricket. Even with the horns and sirens from afar, the bustle they couldn’t care less the only noise there was, it was deafening.

“Don’t you think you’ve disappointed her enough?”

Jason ignored the shattered edges of his helmet that poked on his cheek, ignored the blood it drew or the strain on his arms. Everyone did, perhaps.

“Go back to patrol.”

Batman left, as quickly as he’d come. Robin followed right behind him.

Batgirl turned around, nodded at her team, which was all there was out of her, out of anybody. They could see her fists clench, her eyes down and avoiding the others. The Signal flew out of the scene, Spoiler grappled up to the next rooftop, and Orphan disappeared out of thin air, without a word or even a grunt.

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Red Hood left that junkyard lot, and as the brothers they were, and dreadfully still are, they kept out of each other’s ways for the rest of that quiet night.

-----

What was so different about that night, and the many more nights that followed, was how they no longer had each other to turn to, even more now that it seemed they needed their brothers the most. Jason was, in the worst sense, used to the kind of isolation he was forced into after the matter. Dick had to learn to be alone, but it always had been better to have another’s shoulder to lean on and talk to. Tim, not so much. Not when he almost always turned to Y/N. And if not her, Dick. His older brother. One he once looked up to like a being unreachable, now a traitor he’d scoff at if he dared to show up.

So what they did, and what they were forced to do for several nights, was to deal with the cosmos and the whirlwind of thoughts all by their sorry selves. Dick usually could be found in training, spinning about in the uneven bars set up for him at the manor, have the sweat and the strain in his muscles force out whatever it was that bothered him into some physical outlet, how it often had been for many years as he appreciated himself for the care it brought. For the others, however, it wasn’t so much the same. Tim would spend all hours in the office and wouldn’t so much as nap even when his whole body tortured him to at least stop his back from being crouched so much. And Jason, well, had already drowned himself in booze, even more now that the reasons had faded clearer.

Alone in his apartment, over at the nook by the window where he usually spent the day with a book, now his mess of a hair would be plastered against the cold glass and the many bottles that surround him would block the surfaces of the cushion. It never actually got out of hand. He only ever drank to get rid of that noise blaring into his ear the way it was now, the way it was for all three of them.

And Tim couldn’t turn to that same comfort, or whatever it was that caffeine, stinging eyelids, and an unhealthy staring into a computer screen with an all nighter at the office would bring him. That night after the fight, he couldn’t sleep, even when he tried to. Which led to no one’s knowing, a cup of coffee when the day had risen and he was forced to go on with that said day like nothing happened. That cup would turn to two. Three. Eventually it dawned on him that he’d slept what he should have in a single day in a span of three.

Dick’s training, as it turned out, wasn’t so healthy at all. The strain in his wrists began a little over two hours ago. He’d been at the grounds for quadruple that time. For that day alone. Would it kill him if he didn’t stop? Probably not. Would it almost kill him? Probably. But he went on. Kept his hands busy. Forced himself to feel that exhaustion that should be taking his mind out of everything and not amplify it.

But this was only the beginning of what eventually would be that highway to descent, to some slope with no ladder to climb back up to, no guide for them to reverse and no light at the end that would eventually bring some alternative to the truth. They only had the truth to hold on.

Their brotherhood. One so strained. So complicated. One that took far too much time to build and rebuild. They couldn’t, not even if they wanted to, be apart from this family, deny that they were a part of it. They couldn’t escape each other’s presence no matter how many times they’d change their numbers or block out their trackers or find another city to live in. They couldn’t lose something that had grown too strong for them to fight against. That night, they tried. Or rather, the forces tried. The forces run by their bitter rivalry or the want for the same woman.

It was the fifth night after that fight, when Dick let go of the bars, finally giving his hands that rest too many hours overdue. He wiped his sweat, drank from his bottle, and pulled out his phone. That night, he thought it was enough, that this silence and bitterness and sheer negligence over their bond would eventually break for permanence. He knew that this coping was only just the beginning, and that it will, for everything he was certain about, would it become so much more, something so dark, that it would pull the whole family apart. He didn’t want that. For any of them. So that night, he sent a text to Tim and Jason.

Tim’s first account wasn’t on his brothers, though it had crossed his mind many more times than he would have hoped. His first thought, if anything, was how Y/N would have thought if he let himself fall. It’d be in his rule this time, that he wouldn’t let the caffeine get to him or reach to such extremes he’d never otherwise control. But Y/N wasn’t going to believe that, as nobody should. Hell, he probably shouldn’t place that much faith onto himself at all. Even if he does so much as lose an hour of sleep, one for every night until there wasn’t any hours left, if he allows himself one more cup when he had one just half an hour before, he knew it’d be just the beginning.

So, when he got that text from Dick, he realized it wasn’t worth much the risk.

He hated them both like he’s hated no one else, wanted them to realize just how much of a wreck their doings have imprinted on him and Y/N, how the consequences that followed weren’t nearly what they deserved at all. But if he doesn’t fight that hate, if he doesn’t find peace, it’ll be that darkness for him, that same life he hadn’t learned to control, one where he once lost himself to. and in turn, made him lose Y/N. And he’ll lose her again if he won't listen to that conscience. He texted Dick back and told him to meet him at Pauli’s.

Jason, on the other hand, acted as was expected of him. When he saw that text the first thing his lack of conscience told him was to get another phone and forget it all happened, disappear for another few months, show up when it was convenient, and hope that this all blows over before his escapism backfires.

But he never did get to bring himself to throw out his phone and get a new one, much less delete the text before he’s even seen it. A few days after, he let that daft little voice in him to open the text, allow himself a few seconds just to witness its premise. But he’d read through everything in that split second he allowed himself to. Dick didn’t really have much to say. And what else was to come next other than the few days of tussling and fighting and the many more bottles of booze that were not at all helping with those same voices that just wouldn’t shut up.

Was this all worth it? Was anything worth this at all?

Because those few years it took just to have any sort of a conversation with Dick, much more with Tim, certainly wasn’t a few years of a bond rebuilt that he wanted to go through again.

He loved them. In his own, twisted little way. He loved his brothers and actually would go out his way to save them from whatever horrors he’d been forced to face. That love didn’t have to be from occasionally hanging out in the holidays or spent an hour or two in a bar.

At least, in his conscience, if he were to die one day like he’d realize would happen again, knowing life wasn’t exactly his alone to spend and control, he’d know he did whatever was best for the people he loved.

So, despite Dick and Tim not at all expecting so much as a text back, they still had it in them to wait a few hours. In that dimly lit corner of Pauli’s, the aroma of freshly backed pancakes distracting them from their otherwise bland pickup from the rest of their senses. They waited, not hoping for the best.

Jason went into the diner and saw them, ordered a cup, then took a seat across Tim, with Dick in between.

That silence, the same for everyday for the past five, it was haunting and eerie, disturbing, uncomforting, one they knew they’d all have to settle if they wanted to move on and actually bring some light into whatever it was they’ve caused.

Jason didn’t take off his hoodie. Tim warmed his hands with his cup of hot chocolate. And Dick, knowing he’d have to start, cleared his throat and looked up.

.

Dick:

Seeing Tim walk through that door was a surprise enough, much more Jason coming along and not even was he three hours late. Fuck. Fuck. What does he even say? Where does he ever start? Should he even start?

Giving in to his impulses certainly was bad an idea. This was, in every way, what he should have expected when he picked up his phone and thought to call his brothers hoping it was the right thing to do. And, perhaps, it was the right thing.

But was he the right person to start it? Lead this conversation to the direction he wanted so they’d get to a better place? The one that pushed his impulses in the first place?

They were all too awfully silent. Tim’s had his second round of hot chocolate. He doesn’t even like hot chocolate that much. And Jason looks like he’s hiding himself from the cops with his hood down and neck craned to the table’s surface. He’s never been in anything more awkward and uncomfortable in his years. This was just humiliating.

But, he was sure, humiliation should be the first thing they’d have to go through. Setting their prides aside, talk with the other’s stories in mind and hope that by the end of this, it’ll at least be a bit better.

So he started, in the most bland, uneventful way, he tells them both.

“Thanks for coming,” Dick said.

Tim momentarily bit onto his lip, and Jason stayed motionless without so much as a nod. At least Tim glanced over at him, even when it was just a second.

“How are you, Tim?”

Tim’s finger traced over the brim of his cup. He’s finished it. Didn’t seem like he wanted to order another one.

“Alright. I guess.”

“Good. Jason?”

God, this was awful. He doesn’t even ask how their broken bones are healing after a life-threatening encounter in patrol. Hopefully this greyness wasn’t too weird, not when it should be the start of something even more difficult to overcome.

Jason’s order of coffee came into the table and it made Tim shift in his seat, leaning to the back to stay further away from its aroma. Jason took a sip. “Fine.”

As quiet as they possibly could. Dick wished he had something to order, even when it was just a piece of pie they’d displayed over at the counter. But he didn’t want to get up or even call a waitress.

He was, in the most obvious sense, ashamed. Ashamed that he wasn’t either of them, which he wished nothing more to be. He wished he was them so he wouldn’t have to be the man who’d hurt Y/N the most, when he was supposed to be who she’d turn for comfort, because they weren’t the man who’d been in love with her for so long, never thinking he’d have a chance. And when he did finally have her, even for a just a moment, when he finally got to kiss her that one time he’d been waiting for so many years, it all broke down and nearly diminished what he took years to build. Their friendship. Something so great yet so fragile, when their love never could be so easily set aside to make way for a friendly bond.

“I’m sorry,” Tim said, and his voice had gone softer. “I’m sorry I started a fight. And for being so angry. That was uncalled for.”

He did want all this to be right with them. Both of them. Two of his brothers he’s learned to love. And with that love comes many sacrifices.

“You don’t have to be sorry for being angry.”

“Would you like more hot cocoa?” The waitress came in with a pitcher. Tim declined, and she left.

He stared at the empty cup and rolled his lips.

“Yeah, I… I kinda do.”

Further into the day, the less people there were in the diner. And with that came more silence. There were half the people in there than when they’d first arrived. Soon enough, they’ll be the only ones left.

“I’m sorry, too.”

Then, without even a word, Dick and Tim turned over to Jason.

They didn’t expect him to apologize, or even say anything for that matter, possibly for the rest of the night.

But Jason shrugged, looked up at both of them in the eye, and he nodded. It was enough for them both to know what he meant.

.

Jason:

Get this over with. As quick as they possibly could. But he should know by now that this was going to take time. With how difficult it was. This wasn’t going to end any better than when they’d started if they rush through.

Jason took a sip out of his coffee and leaned his arms over on the table. Still, he didn’t take off his hoodie, as if he was going to take off not long from then.

“I don’t exactly know where to start,” Dick said. “But I think we should put this out there now.”

Neither of them looked him in the eye. He and Tim both stared at their cups as if it were any interesting.

“I’m sorry if I’m doing this wrong. I’m just saying what I think is best.”

“It’s okay,” Tim said. “Just go on.”

This was harder than when they had to help out the League face Brainiac. And that certainly was something.

“I love Y/N.”

Okay. Wasn’t what he thought Dick would say. But okay.

“Tim loves her, too.”

Shit. Alright. So that’s what this motherfucker thinks he’s doing.

“And I for sure as hell know, that you love her as well, Jason-“

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jason’s voice was deep, controlled, and as monotonous as he forced it to be. Without a flick of a lie or a speck of truth, as they both would have easily picked up if they listened to him hard enough. That is, if it worked. Which it probably hadn’t.

“We don’t know who she wants…” Dick said. “And frankly, I don’t think she does, too. At least for now.”

“It could be any of us.” Tim didn’t take his sight away from the blankness of the white table’s surface.

He can't take this. No. He never should have opened that text. This was a bad idea.

Y/N will choose one of them. Not him. Not when he was the one who fell in love with her far too late, realized just how perfectly imperfect and how she managed to be this little bundle of happiness for him that he never could find in another. Someone whose presence he yearned for on the days when he thought nothing could be okay. He realized all that when too late, when his brothers already cemented their places and have already gone out of their way to win her love. And, on top of all that, he was the one he didn’t have a close friendship as a ground for something to lean onto. They weren’t close. Not like she was with Tim. Not even with Dick.

“This is ridiculous,” Jason stood up from his seat with his cup half finished. “I’m leaving.”

“Jason-“

“Dick, I want no part of this-“

“You can deny it all you want, but what if she chooses you?”

“She won't choose me. That’s the point-“

“Everyone knows that’s just as much of a possibility than everything else. It didn’t even take much time, and already you’ve wooed her. You think we didn’t notice that?”

Jason stopped and faced the counter, away from his brothers.

“Just sit down.”

“Dick-“

“I know this hurts but what if she actually does choose you-“

“I don’t love her.”

“You do. And she might love you back.”

No. Don’t bring his hopes up like this. This fucking-

“And if she does, are you really going to turn her down?”

Jason closed his eyes. He had nothing to say.

“No matter what Tim and I do, if it’s you she wants, then it’s you who’ll make her happy. Do you honestly think I believe you won't at least take that chance?”

Nothing. No voices whispering into his conscience to fuck everything and leave. Nothing that told him what to do, much less what to say.

He just knew that whatever he was, it wasn’t nearly as strong as that one pull that forced him back on his seat.

This shitshow already hurts as it is. What’s a little more?

.

Tim:

There’s a chance for all of them.

That’s what has always been so hard for him to understand. Never would he have thought it to be true, but it was.

They were both good men, good people, and if he were honest, he’d admit to Y/N being lucky if she were ever to choose one of his brothers in the end. He never, ever wanted to admit that. Not even now.

But for so long, he’s ignored the fact that those choices might be for her happiness, for what she deserves, and that might not always be about Tim. That whatever it was he wouldn’t admit to himself didn’t mean it wasn’t true. Y/N smiles like no other with Dick and no one else understood her like Jason. Even if Tim were her best friend, even if they had together from the very beginning, even if he probably loved her the most. It won't be about that.

So he has to accept all this.

And if it meant her happiness, then that hurt will be a lot easier to deal with.

“He’s right,” he said, and his two older brothers looked up at him.

“I’ve always thought you two… Well, I wish I was in your place. Not always. But, right now I do.”

They were confused to say the least. They didn’t look like they understood. Tim was the one who got to be with her, had years of calling her his love, had her love in return and have her actually show it the same way he did.

But that was just that. He had her. And now he didn’t. Because of him. Because he had her and was stupid enough to let her go, something neither of his brothers would have done if they were him.

And he wanted to laugh at the looks of both their faces. They didn’t have to say anything at all, but he understood. They envied each other in so many other ways, too complicated to map out. Because they’ve all done their own grievances, done so much that they regret.

Which is why this had to happen. Because no one knew what was going to happen next.

“I know it’s hard for all of us…” Dick said. Tim stared out at the window to see the start of the cold evening. “But we’re brothers. I don’t know about you both, but I don’t want this to tear us all apart.”

It already did, he wanted to say.

But it might not be true. It might not be too late. This brotherhood could still be salvaged. And in a way, it might be worth all that hurt.

“The last few weeks have been hard… for all of us… taken its toll on the rest of the family. And we’ve worked too hard on each other. I don’t…” Dick swallowed. “I don’t want to lose Y/N, but I don’t want to lose both of you either.”

It was easier for him to shut his eyes closed.

Neither do I, Tim thought.

“But… Y/N deserves to be happy… We’ve put her through too much.

“And if it means being with the one she loves, one of us, then so be it. We’re done making her decisions. We don’t decide between the three of us. If she wants to choose, then she gets to choose. And we won't have a say in any of it. She decides if it’s one or none of us at all. She deserves this.”

Jason finished his coffee. He no longer sat so stiff.

Tim sat back on his chair and stared out the window.

“And whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. As brothers. We’ll have each other. It’ll be okay. We’ll make it okay.”

That cold night of late November had the first snowdrop of the year. It was light, subtle, and one would have missed it if they weren’t looking out for too long. But they saw it, and never had something so gentle calm what used to be this rageful storm, not since Y/N.

They hadn’t spoken another word in that diner. But for many hours, they stayed.

They continued to wait for many months. They were patient.

October. November. December. January passed.

And on that day of the second week of February, a day Y/N once loved and hated at different times, they put an end to that waiting.

-----

MASTERLIST | 3 BIRDS 1 STONE MASTERLIST

-----

 A/N: I honestly can’t wait for the finale. AHHHH

MAIN TAGLIST:

@idkmanicantenglish​​, @wunderstell​​, @birdy-bat-writes​​, @multifandomgirl-us​​, @icequeen208​​, @offendedfishnoises​​, @arkhamtoddler​​, @elsenthal​​, @lucy-roo​​,  @loxbbg​​, @reclusive-chicken-nugget​​, @l-inkage​​, @http-cherries​​, @river9noble​​, @zphilophobiaz​​, @annoylinglyaries​​, @knightfall05x​​, @hyp-oh-critical​​, @satan-s-ass​​, @1-800-starmora​​, @flowersgirl02​, @nahcho​​, @thatonecroc​​​, @trixie-bb​​​, @daddyissuesmademe​​​, jasonsbitch, @shadowsndaisies​​ @jaybirdbooty​​​ @writing2sirvive​​​

SERIES TAGLIST:

@spaceservicestation​​, @thedeadlythoughts​​​, @vanessafabricius​​, @pinkforest05​

[simphellscape]

pretty angsty with a bit of fluff at the end | tw: both aang and reader are going thru it :/

You’ve found yourself tossing and turning in your bedroll tonight. This wasn’t unusual as of late -- nightmares and insomnia have been plaguing you for weeks. You’re not sure if it’s the impending battle against the Firelord, or the homesickness that has settled in your chest. You’ve been travelling with the Avatar and his crew for a while, and it was definitely very exciting at first. Now, however, you’re missing your school friends and your family. You knew this day would come; the day where you yearn to be back at home with your loved ones. The day that you and your fleet fight Firelord Ozai was expected too, but everything happened so fast. It seems like yesterday you were just a citizen of the Earth Kingdom colonies. Now, you’re on the frontlines for the Hundred Year War, fighting for the freedom of the Four Nations.

You’re so lost in thought that you just barely notice the sound of footsteps approaching you. By this point, you’ve been conditioned by travelling with Team Avatar to immediately go into fight mode at this sound. You dig your hand into the earth next to your bedroll, preparing to use your earthbending to defend yourself against this mystery figure. The steps are getting closer. It’s time to act.

You fling a small patch of earth towards the direction of the sound. You shoot up, immediately moving into a solid earthbending stance. Your eyes focus on the figure, making out their features in the dark. With a quick flick of their hand, the patch of earth drops to the ground. After a split second of confusion, you finally make out who this “mysterious figure” is. It’s Aang.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, “I thought you were an intruder.”

“It’s fine. It’s good that you’re prepared for that sort of thing,” he responds.

“What are you doing up?” you ask.

“Can’t sleep,” he shrugs.

“Me neither,” you sigh.

“I was going on a walk along the beach. I could use some company.”

You nod and follow in his stride.

You’ve noticed that Aang has been a little off lately. You can’t imagine the pressure he must be under: he’s about to face an almighty tyrant. It makes sense that he’s affected by this, but you’ve never seen him like this. His eyes have dark circles around them. His short black hair is sticking up in all directions. His usual cheery demeanor has been replaced with paranoia and cynicism. It makes you sad to see him this way, but it’s hard to see how anything you could do would help him. You feel helpless, and you imagine he does too.

After walking in silence for a few minutes, you reach the shore. Dark clouds cling to the night sky, obscuring all the stars. Aang plops down onto the beach, and you follow suit.

“Thanks for coming with me. Staying up all night has been kind of lonely,” Aang says quietly.

“Of course, you reply, just as softly. “I wasn’t doing anything.”

He chuckles softly. “I suppose that’s true.”

“Why are you awake?” you ask, searching for something to talk about.

“I’ve been having… nightmares.”

“Me too.”

“I keep dreaming about horrible things. You guys getting hurt, the Firelord winning. I’m so scared, Y/N. I’m scared that I can’t do this.”

You search his face and find that there are tears brimming his eyes. He scrunches up his face and sniffles, then they’re gone. He’s trying to be strong, but you can tell it’s getting harder and harder.

“I’ve been having nightmares too,” you add. “That’s why I was awake.”

“I guess I’m not the only one,” he sighs.

“You’re definitely not. You’re never the only one.”

“Except I am, Y/N. I’m the only one who can defeat Ozai. I’m the only one who can restore balance to the world. I’m the only one who can end this war,” he nearly shouts.

“I guess I phrased that wrong,” you whisper. “You’re never alone.”

He looks at you, the angry look on his face slowly fading. You know that what you said wasn’t new information, but it seems as though Aang has forgotten it.

“You’re right. I’ve got all of you guys, and then some. It’s just a lot of pressure.”

“I can only imagine what kind of pressure you’re under, Aang. It must be so hard. I do know that you can do this. If anyone can save the world, it’s you.”

Aang’s eyes search your face, as if he thought you were lying. Of course, he would never see any sign that you were lying to him. You believe every word. His hand reaches up to wipe the new tears sliding down his cheek.

“Thank you, Y/N. I guess I needed to hear that.”

You gently place your hand on his shoulder. He leans into the gesture, eventually finding a comfortable space on your chest.

You feel better knowing that you reassured Aang, even if it is momentary, but you know that this conversation has reassured yourself as well. It helped you remember that your fleet is powerful and determined. The Day of Black Sun is going to be remembered forever as the day that Ozai and his terrible reign comes to an end. You were sure of it.

(a/n): OKAY now i'm done. i think i'm gonna do a quick like explanation post as to why i deleted my old blog and such and then i'm gonna post new work!!

[vampiregirl1797]

Hoodies & Lacrosse

Peter Kavinsky x Reader

 GIF Not Mine

 For my Masterlist, Click Here.

 Word Count: 1,566

 A/N: This one was requested by the awesome @mychemicalimagines​. I hope this is everything you imagined it to be, lovely! I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get this done for you, but I’ve been so swamped with uni work and placement that I’ve just had no motivation for writing. But inspiration struck tonight and I decided to put it to good use.

A/N/Pt2: If you’re in to Friends and Twilight check out their imagines! The series’ are so good and addictive, I cannot recommend them enough! Leaving a link to the Masterlist HERE.

 I blinked owlishly, trying to make my eyes feel less exhausted, but it was to no avail—I’d been unable to sleep last night and I was unwilling to admit that it was because Peter had asked for his hoodie back. I’d taken it months ago, well not purposefully, he’d just left it behind one day after we’d been hanging out. I’d been chilly that night, and I figured I’d throw it on, only to discover it was the comfiest thing ever—it was huge on me and it smelled of him, and so I’d grown accustomed to how content and safe it made me feel. Obviously I hadn’t realised how much I’d grown to rely on it to sleep until last night at around three in the morning, when I realised it was the first time in months I’d gone to bed not wearing it.

 I yawned, pulled my cardigan tighter around me, and took a large gulp of the coffee I’d poured myself before leaving the house to head to school. I’d managed to drop off around five in the morning, which led to me sleeping through my first four alarms. By some grace of god, I’d made it to first period as the bell rang. I finished off my coffee, and threw the disposable cup into the recycling bin on my way out of the room—thank god I’d had the beverage as my first period had been math; I’d have definitely dozed off without it.

 ‘Hey, Y/N! Wait up!’ I paused at the sound of my best friend’s voice, mixed feelings erupting through me. Tiredness made me clingy, which Pete was used to, but I was also a little pissed being as in my mind it was his fault I was tired to begin with.

 ‘Hey, asshat’ I grumbled, wrapping my arm around his waist and melting into his comforting warmth.

 He chuckled, ‘such wonderful greetings from you, Y/N. It’s a wonder my head fits through the halls with how much you boost my ego.’

 I rolled my eyes, an involuntary smile forming on my face, ‘I’m tired, I think I got thirty minutes of sleep last night. I can’t to go home and sleep until Sunday.’

 ‘Why didn’t you sleep? Is there something on your mind?’ I felt my irrational irritation with him soften at the concern in his voice; he knew me well enough to know if I had trouble sleeping, it usually meant there was something on my mind causing my insomnia.

 ‘No, I just didn’t realise how much I’d come to rely on your hoodie until you took it away.’ I felt my lips form into a slight pout, and had I not been exhausted and as a result, needy, I would have been embarrassed.

 My head was tucked into his side, my face against his chest, and so I missed the soft, fond look that overtook his expression. I did notice the new girl giving us a look of longing and jealousy, but I ignored her. The other students would clue her in soon enough—we were friends, best, best friends. It may look like we were more due to how touchy we both were with each other, but our relationship didn’t extend beyond a deep, meaningful friendship. It had taken a while for everyone to understand it, and to stop giving us the same look the new girl was giving us now, but they learned eventually.

 ‘How about this…’ Peter’s voice bought me back to the conversation, ‘you come to my game tonight, and I’ll give you my hoodie to keep forever.’

 I bit my lip to hide my smile; it was typical Peter Kavinsky. He knew I wouldn’t miss one of his games—I was always there, rain or shine, wearing his jersey and cheering him on. But he was sweet enough to make it sound like I was doing him a favour when in reality, it was him who was doing something nice for me, by making sure I got his hoodie doing something I was planning on anyway.

 I looked up to him, ignoring how my heart fluttered when he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear when it fell in front of my eyes, ‘you’d give up your favourite hoodie, for me to come to your game?’

 I felt my heart melt at the bashful expression that overtook his features, ‘of course I would. I mean it took me months to realise you had it anyway. Clearly it means more to you than it does to me.’

 ‘You make a good point.’ I teased, biting my lip as I thought and missing the way his eyes followed the movement, ‘okay, if you’re really okay with it, you have a deal.’

 ‘Awesome.’ He grinned, and I found myself subconsciously beaming back at him, powerless to not return his happiness.

 //

 ‘Come on, Peter!’ I mumbled under my breath, the tension in the air palpable and affecting everyone, it was as if we were all holding our breath in anticipation, ‘you’ve got this!’

 Peter ran forward, passed the defence and took his shot at the goalie. It was so quiet I could hear the puck hitting the back of the net and I was unable to hold back my cheer of happiness, which seemed to snap everyone else out of their shock and they joined me. Brown eyes found mine and I felt my heart skip a beat as he unclipped his helmet, tucked it under his arm and made his way over to me, easily bypassing the rest of the audience who’d flooded the pitch. I felt my heart beat pick up and by the time my best friend reached me, my heart was pounding against my ribs. He was watching me with such intensity, that it made my knees feel weak. His beautiful brown eyes were soft with an emotion that I couldn’t identify, as well as fondness, happiness and determination. I had no idea what to expect when he finally joined me on the stands, but when he tossed his helmet aside, and placed both of his hands on my cheeks, I knew that everything was about to change. And when his lips met mine in a tender, tentative kiss, I threw my arms around his neck and succumbed to it. It was meant to be, and I was powerless to fight the passion, and the intensity that moved between us. But more importantly, I didn’t want to.

 //

 Third Person POV

 Daisy Hank didn’t know what to think when she attended her second day of school. It seemed that there was a buzz in the air from the moment she walked through the doors, as if something had happened and everyone was talking about it. She felt a nervous knot form in her stomach, worried that it was somehow about her, but after a few deep breaths and reassurances it dissipated. There was no way it could be about her; she’d only started yesterday and she hadn’t spoken to anyone for long enough for her to accidentally reveal anything embarrassing.

 She frowned and walked to her locker, trying to focus her hearing to pick up what was going on from the group of girls that were gossiping next to her locker. She opened it up and pretended to search for something as she managed to get close enough to listen in.

 ‘Is it true? Peter and Y/N are actually together?’ one of the girls murmured, Daisy didn’t know any of their names, but she could easily hear the disappointment in her voice.

 ‘Yup, apparently it happened last night at the lacrosse game. He scored the winning game and ran on the stands to kiss her.’ This girl sounded dreamy, and Daisy felt herself instinctively relax a little at the absence of aggression in her tone.

 ‘It was like a Cinderella Story. So romantic.’ The third girl mirrored the second’s tone and even sighed.

 ‘So unfair. Kavinsky is the most attractive guy at this school, now what—‘ the first girls bitterness was cut off by an elbow to her abdomen.

  Daisy frowned, until she followed their gaze and saw the aforementioned couple walking down the hall. They were in the same position as yesterday; her arm around his waist, his over her shoulders and her face tucked against his chest. And yet, there was a definite change between them, Daisy noticed. Maybe it was because Y/N was wearing a hoodie that was obviously his, or because he now had her backpack slung over his shoulder along with his own, or maybe it was the soft, fond and loving way they looked at each other. But either way, a change was definitely there, and Daisy once again found herself wishing that she had someone who looked at her the way they were observing each other, just like she had yesterday when she’d first laid eyes on them. Except now, she only wanted it more, because unlike yesterday the love and affection they had for each other was radiating from them without restriction. It was as beautiful as it was mesmerising and Daisy released a dreamy sigh of her own as she slammed her locker shut at the sound of the school bell. As she made her way to English, she hoped one day, she would find someone who loved her like that.