#sorry im still dead i am in college LOL

[poorlydrawnskullgirls]

marie story mode no context

[ppushable]

two ibuprofen

jean kirschtein x gn!reader / oneshot / wc: 7.3k

part 1 of rose tinted hours

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Sunday morning. What's the best way to spend a Sunday morning?

Craned over the plaguefest of the guy I'm dating-not-dating, trying to shove two ibuprofen down his throat?

(It works the second time.)

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ao3 tags:

ok here we go / Alternate Universe - College/University / Sickfic / Sick Character / Fluff / Kissing / Alternate Universe - Modern Setting / Texting / Vomiting / Not at the same time / Winter / gender neutral reader / i dont know how to make tea / mentions of sanrio / mentions of bagged milk / slight angst? i guess? if you squint? / reiner texts like a boomer and im sorry / POV First Person / Present Tense

i live in a special part of canada so excuse the bagged milk. (just kidding bagged is better)

reader is gn! if anything seems off please lmk. (do that if the text names are confusing too!)

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Bzzz.

The darkness and warm comfort of sleep cracks as my eyes peel open to the vibration of my phone. My blurry wall is bathed in orange light and the cold draft coming in from the open window carries the swoons and trills of birdsong. Pretty…

Holy shit I have class I’ll be late—

With effort, I blink until the shapes around me become clean and defined. Am I late? Sunlight on the ruffles of my quilt like a Renaissance painting. Coats and bags hanging from the hooks on the back of my bedroom door. Clothes from the night before, still on the ground from when I dropped them there, dead-tired. My phone buzzes again, causing an internal jolt that spurs me to snatch it off the nightstand and expel the charger in one swift movement.

mr. handsome: emergency alert! 🚨 alert! god-level threat!

mr. handsome: One image attachment

Oh, it’s a message from Connie.

Oh, it’s 8:19 AM.

Oh, it’s a Sunday.

The glowing numbers on the screen indicate the next minute and I toss the phone somewhere on the bed before re-curling myself into my nice warm quilt in this nice cool morning. Sorry, Connie, the grocery run to 7-11 for more sushi will have to be done by someone else. This is probably the happiest I’ll be all day, provided I stay sleepy enough not to feel guilty for doing nothing. The world goes black.

Bzzz.

This time, my eyes peel open on their own.

Fine, Connie, you win.

Trying to ignore the bitter taste of morning in my mouth, I grope for my phone and lift it above my head.

sashacado: BAHAHAH GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE BALDY

Another message pops up.

mr. handsome (replying to @/sashacado): 🖕

mikachu: you need to get out of there, connie. like rn.

lainah: Run while you still can! LOL! 🤣

Although the last text pains me on a metaphysical scale, I open up the groupchat. It’s getting fishy now: first of all, Connie’s never up this early, least of all on a weekend; secondly, he said ‘god level threat’ (which is apparently the worst level of threat), and third, Mikasa rarely speaks in the groupchat. Sure, she lurks, but she only ever emerges when something big is happening.

Some more people are active now and I have to scroll up to find Connie’s image.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Blurry and off-centre as the picture might be, it clearly depicts the ugliest green-and-white striped couch I ever laid my eyes on (“It’s an antique!” Connie had argued) that belongs to Connie and Jean’s shared dorm in which the latter of the two is curled up in (yet he still scrapes the armrests with the top of his head and toes). Littering the stained carpet around him — they prefer eating on the couch than on an actual table, so spills are inevitable — are wads of crumpled-up tissues. To really top it off is the Cars blanket that Jean won at a festival that’s seemingly in the process of being violently torn from his form, clinging to the armrest closest to the camera and pulling beyond. A message banner pops down from the top of the screen.

jean: i’m fine. and give me my fucking blanket back. i can hear you giggling from your bedroom. connie.

grammar police: connie give his blanket back

lainah: Haha!

grammar police: i swear things like this only happen when I’m gone

Right, Marco usually goes home for the weekends.

ymi: Lmfao that thing prolly gave you a disease in the first place

ymi: Have u even washed it once

mr. handsome: cut the ccrap Ymir we wash it more than you wash ur hair

sashacado: LMAOOO

ymi: At least I have hair

sashacado: AGAHAHH CONNIE

grammar police: you guys

grammar police: missing the point here

mr. handsome (replying to @/ymi): and its sad cuz mine is still better than youres

mr. handsome: like girl tf is up with the shaved sides

mr handsome: jojo siwa looking ass

sashacado: LMAOOOOO CONNIE EAT HER UP

Smiling, I return to the main chat screen.

ymi: Count your fucking days springer

ymi: At least I still have a girl

grammar police (replying to @/mr. handsome): ^yours

mr. handsome: ok nerd

grammar police: I’m taking away your Netflix

mr. handsome: I sincerely apoligize for my words.

grammar police: it’s the effort I guess

grammar police: back to Jean though

jean: i told u im prrfectly fine. just give ne back my blanket i’ll sleep it off

grammar police: do I need to come back to campus for the weekend?

mikachu: im stopping by the store. can grab some medicine

jean: ffs IM FINE GIVE ME MY BLANKET CONNIE OR IM TELLING THEM ABOUT THE GRATER THING

grammar police: Jean you need some medicine at least. I heard there’s a nasty flu going around and you’d be the type of person to catch it

grammar police: did you call your mom? I can call her if you want

jean: IM

jean: FINE

jean (replying to @/grammar police): DO NOT DO THAT

Poor Jean. He doesn’t have anyone to take care of him. Connie’s a mild germaphobe, believe it or not, at least when it comes to sickness (he nearly went crazy during Covid) and is probably keeping a safe distance from his roommate. And it’s not like any of his other friends are willing (or able) to help out, with Marco out of town. He doesn’t have any siblings here; the closest relative he has might be his mother all the way back in Trost. Not even a significant other.

Well. I mean.

There’s me.

But we’re technically not dating. Not yet. We’re still trying to figure things out — hell, I don’t even know if he likes me back.

Well, okay, there was that time we kissed. But it’s just a kiss. And it was an end-of the year party, and everyone was feeling it. And it’s January now and we haven’t done it again so it’s nothing. It’s nothing!

But that doesn’t stop the guilt from gnawing at my foundations like a tiny, evil beaver.

Wow. So you’re willing to let a guy suffer just because you’re unsure? Now that’s selfish. While you’re sitting here muttering to yourself he’s probably burning with fever and wishing he were dead. Real classy.

Shut the fuck up, beaver. It’s weird to just barge into someone’s house like that. And we don’t know each other that well.

You’ve known each other for a long time. He’s sick. At least take care of him. You don’t need to be his lover or whatever. Just be a good friend, huh?

I guess…

And you know Connie, too, don’t you? You’ll be doing him a big favour by getting this plaguefest out of his living room. He needs to finish off Breaking Bad so he can look at the memes without being spoiled. You’re not helping dear old Connie out, either.

Fuck, you do have a point.

Besides, everyone knows what happened between you and Jean at the Christmas party. They’re probably waiting on you to—

With great effort I manage to unfocus my eyes to see if anyone mentioned me but Connie and Jean have devolved into another stupid somewhat one-sided argument. So they aren’t saying anything outright. But they’re probably thinking it.

They’re definitely thinking it.

Okay, that’s enough from you.

I swipe off the groupchat to see all of my chats and open up my DM with Jean — right near the top — and start typing.

me: hey. sorry if this is weird, but i wanted to check on you bc ur really sick apparently

No, that won’t do. I purge the message.

me: hey fuckass. did you go out without a coat again? do i need to come and take care of

No, not that, either. Hopefully he isn’t looking at our messages or else he’d see me typing like an idiot. I tap the side of my phone as I think, stringing together ideas and words and different ways he could perceive me based on how I put them together.

I go back to the main groupchat.

me: @/jean @/mr. handsome im coming over. be there in 15

me: also @/mikachu could you pick up some lozenges and cough syrup? ty i’ll pay u back <3

I zone out at the screen until someone starts typing and throw the phone down on the bed again before scanning the ground for something wearable. Goodbye, sweet air and Renaissance scene and birdsong. After assembling myself and brushing my teeth, I check the mirror attached to the back of the shared bathroom door that Sasha decorated with some Sanrio stickers from Amazon. She had a phase.

Matching socks, jeans, campus sweatshirt, T-shirt underneath big enough to splay out underneath like a fan. Hair a mess. Face a mess. Good enough. It’s not like Jean will look much better. It’s not like I care that much about how I look around him.

I pull the door aside and collect my belongings — phone, bag, coat — before whisking through the door, full sail for Connie’s res building. I hit the stairwell running.

Do I know how to take care of sick people? I mean, more or less. It’ll be fine. All you have to do is feed them and make sure they don’t puke all over themselves. Right?

On the way I stop by one of the cafeteria atriums, one of the smaller ones I frequent for its souped-up coffee counter with every additive known to man. I scan the containers on the counter — milk, cream, nutmeg — until I find the packets of honey and shove one into my bag while trying not to look guilty to the few people that dot the room. I more than paid for it just by attending.

Now on the main floor by the parking lot, I struggle to untangle my keys from the mess in my bag and, without looking, push the unlock for my car. It beeps faithfully in the same place I left it and I hurry to the sound like a moth to flame.

It’s a smallish car that’s starting to rust near the top. I open the drivers’ door and toss my bag in the passenger seat before throwing myself in and shutting the door, shutting out the world, disturbing the rubber Kuromi keychain hanging from the rearview mirror. My breath comes out steamy. The car comes to life on the third try — best to let it warm up a bit before I go.

Inhale, exhale. I open up the groupchat.

jean: you will do no such thing

jean: @/me

mr. handsome: so THATS what it takes for u to finally visit

mr. handsome: ive been keeping it nice and clean just for u 😙

mr. handsome: until mr covid came and ruined it

mikachu (replying to @/me): dw about it babes xx

sashacado: mika get me chocolate

mikachu: maybe. driving

Mikasa and I, weirdly enough, were the first to get our full licenses. A smile pulls at my face and I duck down to look at my lap. Jean had nearly begged us to give him driving lessons, and of course, I agreed. Days of close calls, driving under the speed limit, getting honked at, constantly checking the mirrors, nearly rear-ending people at stop signs, elbows touching on the armrest…

Of course, now Jean can drive without a hitch. Maybe not good enough yet that I’d sleep while he does it, but that’s a personal thing.

I almost put my phone down before noticing I have a few more private messages.

jean: seriously you dont have to come. im fine

jean: its acc not a big deal

jean: i had colds like this before. im not ur responsibility

Something about that last line stings. I guess he’s right, technically. We’re not that close. Who am I kidding?

But I already announced to the world what I’m going to do. And I already decided on it.

me: im coming whether you like it or not. watch connie for me

When I can’t see my breath anymore I start driving.

Stohess is a big campus. And while I’m not a huge fan of carbon emissions, I’m also not a fan of 20-minute walks in blistering, dry cold (or wet cold, for that matter). Also, I don’t want to keep Jean waiting. The eco society is going to kill me.

I pull in to the all-too-familiar parking spot, the one Jean pulled into a hundred times in preparation for his driving test in his new, expensive car his parents bought him because “he was doing so good with his driving!”

He’d thanked me profusely for helping him out, which, in hindsight, was mildly out of character for a broody, arrogant guy like him.

But then again, so was kissing me at that party. Not so much the kissing part. Just the me part. And the gentle-tight way he held me, the way he looked into my eyes…

I suck in a sharp breath. But I’m doing this as a friend. Not because of whatever we might be. If Connie was the one who got sick, I’d be here, too.

Steeling my nerves, I take my bag with an iron grip and make for the dorm.

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The door is already open when I arrive, propped open by a deflated volleyball. Weird. Some music that sounds like it was taken straight from Fast and Furious plays from inside. Knowing Connie, it probably is.

Nothing stirs when I open the door, but it is a pretty quiet door. The living room is right in front of me, ugly antique couch and all, but it’s completely empty. I didn’t walk into the wrong room, did I?

“Connie? Jean?” I slip off my shoes — Connie is insistent (I think shoes in the house is a crime anyway) — and creep through the dorm. “You guys?“

My voice rings through. Nothing. Peals of dread condense in my stomach and I pick up the pace, nearly barreling to a stop in front of the bathroom. I knock; first on the bathroom, then Jean’s bedroom. Connie left his door open.

“Jean? You in there?”

No response.

“I’m gonna— I’m opening the door, okay?”

And without time to think about what might be on the other side, I twist the knob and push.

Nothing. I even look behind the shower curtains.

Who even closes an empty bathroom?

Next is Jean’s room, but it’s also empty.

Where the hell are they?

I check my phone again and text the group chat.

me: @/mr. handsome @/jean where are you guys?

Waiting…

lainah: Gym

.

What.

me: are you sure.

lainah: One image attachment

Sure enough.

I should have noticed when his parking spot was empty.

me: dont let them leave. omw now

Sasha starts typing something but I throw my phone in the bag. I should have known they’d pull some bullshit like this. Well, not they. He. Something blistering and boiling threatens to spill over within me, but I take a deep breath. I’ll deal with him when I get there.

Jean’s a smart man, but not when he’s being stubborn.

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The car ride, despite being short, gave me a chance to cool my nerves.

It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. I grip the steering wheel in front of the gym. It’s fine. And step out.

Anytime Fitness is a strange and marvellous place full of people you might not see anywhere else. I don’t care about them. I scan the machines and see Reiner on the treadmill, and he meets my eyes a moment after. He nods in a different direction and I follow his gaze until I see the unmistakable bronze and shaved hair combination. I mouth a thank you and he smiles.

I must look completely out of place here, weaving between sweaty and half-naked bodies in my coat and jeans like I have a demon on my tail until I’m standing behind the chest press.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Connie’s saying and by the way Jean grunts it’s definitely not the first time.

“Let it go. I’m fine, and I’m going to the gym like I always do.” Jean’s voice is thick and nasal. “Buzz off.”

“Look, I already left the house with you. I can’t let you die here.”

“I said I’m fine—”

At the end of Jean’s rep, I slip the pin out of the weights. Jean nearly lunges over as the heaviness suddenly decreases.

Both look at me.

Connie looks normal. Jean is already slick with sweat, hair askew, red-nosed, with a slight wheeze lining his breath as he sits on the edge of the seat. Not normal. Not fine.

“Jean. My car. Now.” I point at Connie. “You take his back.”

A slight smile cracks his visage and that’s all I see before whipping around like an army man and making my way out.

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There’s a lot of things I could be saying, but I don’t, because there’s too much. So we drive home in silence.

Now that we’re closer, I can really hear the struggle with Jean’s every breath, the occasional cough, the mucous-laced sniffs, as much as he might try to hide it. He just sits there, going on his phone, staring out the window, until:

“Pull over.”

And his eyes are closed, head tilted up, pained look on his sweat drenched-face. I move to the side of the door without question and he scrabbles for the handle — I unlock it for him — before opening the door and half-falling over as he pukes.

I pinch my lip between my teeth and look the other way as the smell hits right after. Fine my ass.

Ever since I was young, the sound of heaving has always unsettled me. Even fake gags. Like it flips a switch in my heart to induce a sudden thrill of terror as if someone horror-movie screamed. And yeah, it’s just throwing up, but I hate it.

My heart races as he unloads again and I just want to plug my ears. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can’t sit here.

When the coast is clear I hop out and walk around the back. Jean is squatting on the pavement right before it hits the grass where his vomit lays, poking up through the stiff shoots. Though we’re outside, the smell is even worse. I try not to look at it as I hand Jean a bottle of water and set a stack of napkins I filched from Wendy’s on the passenger seat beside him.

“Thank—” he manages to croak out before pitching over again.

He’s been growing out his hair. I guess I didn’t notice it before, but now it’s long enough to get in his face in this position.

I gather the strands in my hands — soft as that day before the turn of the year — and hold them on the crown of his head as he retches.

When he’s done, I consider rolling down the windows, but decide against it.

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Jean hardly notices when I pull in (again). Weirdly enough, his car still isn’t here — either Connie drives like a grandpa or he’s gone off somewhere.

“Jean.”

He inhales through his mouth, sucking up the new, pukey scent of my car, and opens his door with half-lidded eyes, leaning hard. It bumps against the campus van I’m parked beside and I cringe. Parked too close. He’s in no state to stand up on his own, let alone walk.

“Let me help you.”

He grunts in something like disagreement and I shut my door on him, going around the back again. Soiled napkins are shoved into the door storage and the water bottle is half-empty and crushed on the floor. Well. I offer a hand and after some hesitation he takes it, clasping my shoulder, and when I help him stand the added weight nearly crushes me. Jean is big, maybe not muscular like Reiner, but tall. Even through my coat and his too-thin sweater he radiates heat and he grunts a sickly air into my ear as he finds his footing. There’s barely enough room for the both of us between the car and the van so I shuffle us sideways, around the other side of the car and to the front. I gently lower Jean so he leans against the hood.

“Wait here.”

He doesn’t object as I shut the passenger door and lock the car before going back and offering my shoulder once again and I nearly fall over once again and we huddle together into the building. He’s never this quiet. Never so agreeable. Never so willing to take the help that’s offered to him.

This is a side of Jean I’ve never seen before. A side that I surely was never meant to see.

I swallow thickly and shuffle our bodies forward so I can push the button for the elevator. His head bumps against mine as it droops but he quickly straightens. “Sorry. Sorry.” His voice is gravelly and small, so small, as if it came from another person entirely.

I stare at the side of his face, but he’s focussed on something far away. “You’re okay, Jean.”

The elevator dings open and we go in. Seventh floor button. The door rolls shut.

Beep. Our knees buckle as the elevator accelerates and the screen above the button panel indicates that it’s going up. It usually smells of antiseptic unless it’s been raining.

Beep. The elevator’s always been slow which is why most people take the stairs instead. Connie calls it the ‘hellevator’ because he swears it almost dropped him once.

Beep. Jean’s trying to steady himself; hold himself up.

Beep. We haven’t been this close together since the party.

Beep. Jean takes an unusually large, wheezy breath and holds it. “Sorry.” His voice is hardly a rumble against my side.

“Why are you sorry?” I ask, quietly.

Beep. “For making you do this.”

Beep. The door retracts and muffled hip-hop fills the air. We walk off the hellevator and stand in front of the dorm. 704. An opaque plastic bag hangs off the handle and I take it in the same hand I hold my bag — thanks, Mikasa.

“You have your key?”

Jean grumbles and taps his pockets, pulling out a key ring. A rubber charm — Badtz-Maru, the little angry penguin — hangs from the ring. Sasha gave all of us one in her Sanrio phase. Keroppi for Connie, Charmy for Mikasa, Pompompurin for Marco, Cinamaroll for Eren, Kuromi for me. I (was forced to) help her choose.

The key retracts and Jean uses his free arm to turn the handle and shoulder the door open. He clears — tries to clear — the phlegm in his throat. “Alexa,” he gurgles. “Alexa, stop.”

The music immediately ceases and we stumble to the couch where Jean unceremoniously drops and tucks his head between the armrest and cushioned back, looking utterly uncomfortable.

“Get up, Jean.”

He sniffs.

“Come on. Bed.” I drop my bags on the coffee table. “Not couch.”

“No.”

“Connie will throw a fit. And so will I.”

“Just—” he tries clearing his throat again— “go.”

“I’m not leaving until you get better.” I blink. No, I’m not leaving him here alone. Why does that surprise me?

“I’m fine. I told you. Done it before. I’ll get better.”

“Done it before?” I giggle falsely. “What, you used to rawdogging colds all by yourself?”

A car passes outside, a familiar rising and falling sound against the unfamiliar silence of the dorm.

“Jean?”

“Go…”

And I swear he’s never sounded so… vulnerable before. Like he’s laid out all his organs on a big table and I’m holding the scalpel. Just waiting for the incision.

A little softer, I tell him, “I’m not going anywhere, Jean.”

And I take the goodie bag and head for the simple kitchen — that is, an inlaid fridge, stove, and pantry cramped behind an island counter with a sink. I hold the electric kettle Reiner got for Jean’s and Connie’s fifth anniversary (he thought they were together at first) under the sink and let it fill to two cups just in case before setting it back and switching it on.

Then I rummage through the drawers and cupboards until I find an old, strangely moist box of tea packets. Yuzu mist or Cheerful Citrus? I opt for the latter.

Tearing open the package, I glance at Jean who still hasn’t moved. The teabag I dump into a printed mug that Jean likes to use.

NUMBER 1 COUGAR

I wonder where he got that.

The kettle clicks off when the water boils and I fill the mug. Oh. Honey would be good. I return to the couch and sift through my bag, shifting my keys in the process. Now Jean stirs.

“Are you leaving?”

“No, Jean.”

I keep rummaging. I know it’s in there. Might be in deep, but—

“Please don’t.”

I pause, emotions — affection? concern? — swirling like particles of tea in water. “Okay, Jean.”

I finish making the tea in silence with an almost-empty bag of milk left in the fridge. How do these boys even survive? All that’s in there are cold cuts and a bag of only bread butts, among some other, strange things. Including a pair of boxers.

“Can you sit up?”

Jean sighs into the cushion and braces against the armrest to push himself into somewhat of a sitting position.

“Let’s get you to bed.”

His eyes cast down. I swallow the silence that suddenly envelops us. Nothing weird. Just a room. I’m just a caretaker. “Come on, Jean.”

“Can— can you help me?”

I fall into the little divot in the couch where Jean sits and let him wrap an arm around my shoulder. “Ready?” I say. “One, two…”

We stumble up and pass through the already-ajar door to Jean’s bedroom and I nearly stop to take a better look. He has blackout curtains, currently drawn, painting the room in a dark blue light except for a thin bar of sunlight from between the curtains that propagates as a glowing line on the carpet. The walls are plastered in posters, sketches, paintings, sketches. Half-finished drawings on his desk and swivel chair and a few on the ground. A small compartment shoved into one corner with every art supply imaginable.

Still taking in the view, I (we) back into the bed, butt-first, and Jean unwraps himself from me.

“You won’t… do anything weird… to me?”

I smile. Conversational, that’s good. “Not unless you want me to.” And I wish I had shut up before the first word even came out of my stupid mouth. Standing, I look over my shoulder. “I’m getting the medicine.”

“Wait. Don’t.”

Under the doorframe now, I pause. “I’m not leaving. I’ll be right back.” And I go to the goodie bag.

I should just work on keeping my mouth shut. Mikasa had picked out some ibuprofen, NyQuil, and lozenges. Pills should be good. I take the mug and the box and head back.

When I get back Jean’s sitting against the headboard, trying to uncrumple his blanket to get underneath.

“Let me help.”

He watches me then, helpless — Jean fucking Kirschtein, helpless! — as I set down the pills and mug on his glass nightstand and unfold the mess he’s got on the mattress. “Pull your legs up.”

He obeys. I pull the quilt over him.

I try not to stare. “You can put your legs down now.”

He obeys.

“Sit up, Jean. You need more pillows.”

Eyes glued to me, he leans forward so I can take his other pillow to prop him up more comfortably, leaning back when I touch his warm shoulder. Then I take the mug and offer it to him. “Drink some of this.”

Painfully quiet, he takes the mug with both hands and takes a tentative sip, lips curling around the brim of the ceramic to slurp up the soothing drink. He’s doing good. Until he hits a bump and starts sputtering.

Immediately I take the drink as he coughs up whatever went down the wrong way. When he’s done I realize I’ve been rubbing circles into his back so I take my hand off.

My phone buzzes in the living room. Shit.

“I’ll be back.”

Jean stares at his knees under the blanket and doesn’t move when I come back.

sashacado: omg yall

sashacado: theyre gonma be killed💯

armong us: What’s going on?

sashacado: @/lainah what did u do

lainah: One video attachment

sashacado: ONG LMFAOOO

sashacado pinned a message

mr. handsome: @/me im headed to urs with sash for a while. hope thats cool w you and all lmk if u need anything

jägermeister: are u fr leaving those two alone

mr. handsome: well good morning to u too pricness

Deleted message

jägermeister: oh right

sashacado: connor springer delete that message rn @/mr. handsome

sashacado: @/mr. handsome

sashacado: @/mr. handsome

sashacado: @/mr. handsome

mr. handsome: ok ok jfc im sorry

sashacado: @/mr. handsome

sashacado: ok good

Whatever the hell they’re up to now.

Jean thrashes slowly and I feel a little guilty for staring down at my phone the whole time. “Are you okay?” I breathe, sticking to his beside like a magnet. “Are you in pain?”

“Hot,” is all he says.

I peel the blanket off. He is hot. Really hot.

Not like that. He’s feverish.

“Can you… help me?”

“Yeah?” I stare at him — help with what? — until he raises his arms over his head.

Oh. A few circuits in my head switch off. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m can help.” Idiot.

Like touching something radioactive I grasp the edge of his sweater and slowly raise it, catching the shirt underneath for a fleeting second before it falls back down. Deep breath. Yes, I am helping out a guy I’m dating-not-dating who I’m definitely not attracted to to take off his clothes in his bedroom in his empty dorm. Because he’s sick. No problem. Because I’m a good friend.

The neckline catches on his jaw and I unhook it, delicately trailing the scruff on his jaw in the process.

And it’s off and on the ground. Holy shit. Jean’s been sweating. And I know all that dampness on his shirt, clinging feebly to his attractive sick form, didn’t come from his 10 minutes at the gym.

He doesn’t lower his arms. Oh, so we’re doing it like this.

Okay.

I come forward again, within earshot to the rattling in Jean’s chest with his every breath, and quite literally peel the thin white shirt off. This time it’s impossible not to touch his incredibly warm and damp body, not to scrape my nails against the softness of his skin, from his waist to his broad shoulders all the way down his arms. Now he puts them down.

I almost forget he still smells like puke.

“My pants…”

Ohoho. No way, buster. You’re on your own. I’m calling Connie. Nooo way.

“Okay, but unbuckle yourself.”

He does without question, fumbling first with his belt, which I help slide off, and then his jeans.

What in the ever-loving fuck am I doing? This sounds like a smut setup. No. I’m just a friend helping out a sick friend, two friends who have never done anything even slightly romantic together.

“Sit up on the edge, okay?”

He heaves his sweaty self to the edge of the bed, palms leaving wet marks on the sheets, and, staring at the ceiling, I grasp at the hem of his pants (skirting his boxers or whatever he’s wearing because I’m not looking) and pull them (he lifts himself at first to help) all the way down. In one smooth movement I turn back around.

“Put your shirt over your… yourself.”

I wait a good few heartbeats before turning back around and lo and behold, he’s done as told. Frankly, it looks even worse now, like he’s lying in bed completely naked with just a shirt covering him. (But that’s only true if I think it’s true!) The jeans I’m still clutching for some reason I deposit on a chair.

“Jean, I’ll be right back, okay?” I wait for a response I should know isn’t coming before going out again, this time in search for a facecloth. Which I do find, shoved in the corner of the linen cabinet. I should be grateful they even have some, but then again, it might’ve been another gift from Reiner they didn’t have the heart to throw away. I rinse it under some cool water and announce my re-entry.

“I’m back. Sit still.” Folding some of the damp cloth over two fingers, I carefully dab at the sweat on his forehead. No, I need to… I pick off some strands of his sandy hair from his face, holding his hair back against his scalp, and try again. Better. “Jean?”

He opens his eyes halfway, and they raise lazily to meet mine. He’s sweaty everywhere and too late I catch myself stroking his head. I wipe his cheek next.

“Drink some tea, okay? I need you to take a pill.”

“Pillk?”

“Yes,” I say encouragingly, like training a puppy. Neck next. “Just a pill.”

He takes in a deep mouth breath. There’s a portrait stuck to the ground on the other side of his bed.

Is that…

“I can’t.”

My eyes snap back and I pause, dabbing at his collarbone. “What’s that?”

He shakes his head, furrowing his brows as if the action took too much effort. “Can’t… swallow. Can’t swallow pills.”

I blink. “You can’t take pills?”

A fleeting smile meets his lips. “Vitamin gummies. Not. Vitamin pills. Might get stuck in m’throat.”

I fold up the cloth into a rectangle and smooth it out onto his forehead. “Just take some tea with it.”

“Tried. No.”

Who knew? For a guy with such a big mouth, he sure has a small esophagus.

“Jean, it’ll make you feel better.”

“No.”

I pop open the box and break open the tinfoil seal to take out a single pill.

“Noo…”

“Jean, you’ll be fine. You’re a big boy now.” And I vow never to speak again.

When I push the little oval against his mouth, I find it won’t open. Jean is breathing laboriously through his 90 percent clogged nostrils.

“Open up.”

He purses his lips, further preventing entry, and I swear he’s smiling a little.

“Very funny. Take your pill. You’re gonna suffocate yourself.”

Still nothing. I pinch his nose. He makes a muffled noise but otherwise doesn’t react.

Ten seconds. Twenty seconds. At thirty-three I let go. “Are you really willing to kill yourself over a pill?”

“Don’t want. Don’t need.”

“Yeah, and I ‘don’t need’ you choking over your own puke in your sleep.”

“No…”

“Jean.” I feel terrible already for doing it like this. “Try. If you don’t at least try, I’ll leave.”

I bite my lip, awaiting his response. I really shouldn’t have said that. I’m such an asshole. Fuck.

“Okay.”

Deep breath. I push the pill against his bottom lip and the soft tissue yields against my fingers for a moment before he opens. The mug is to his lips not a moment after; he gulps, Adam’s apple bobbing, and the tea in his mouth suddenly explodes out and sprays warmly all over my face.

All. Over.

I peel my eyes open after impact. Jean looks more awake than he did before, and with a discernible expression, too: terror.

Okay. Good!

Slowly, he reaches for the sweat-soaked cloth on his head and offers it to me. I shake my head.

“Be right back.”

Bathroom. Cold water. Cold water against my face. There’s two razors on the sink and the edges of the white surface have some hairs on them. Face hairs, I’m sure. I pray.

If whatever Jean has is contagious, I sure as hell have it now.

I turn the tap off and swipe the water from my face. Great. Okay. I bunch up my now-wet sweater. I can do this.

I re-enter the bedroom. Jean sits up a little straighter now, sipping in small increments. “Sorry.”

I put my sweater on the chair. “It’s okay.”

“I— really—”

“Jean, it’s okay.”

“I’m fine. I’ll get better.” Which is about the most complete sentence he’s said in a while.

“I told you I’m not going anywhere, didn’t I?”

He doesn’t say anything. Almost unconsciously, I gravitate to his bed.

“You already did too much for me.”

“Nonsense.”

“Why do… you do this?”

Now that gets me thinking. Because you’re sick. Because I’m a good friend. Because you’re my guinea pig for Hospitality 101. Maybe all three.

My eyes trace back to the scribbled portrait on the other side of Jean’s bed and I take the cloth from his forehead.

Thousands upon thousands of excuses, and a singular truth.

“Because I like you.”

And I take my time going back to the bathroom.

Cold water. Cold water against my hands.

“Coming in.”

“It wasn’t nothing.” Jean clears his throat, almost inaudible against my beating heart. “Back at the party. Wasn’t… nothing.”

“Wasn’t all that much, either,” I say dryly. Hopefully he doesn’t notice how shaky my hands are. How shaky against his pallid skin.

Jean inhales and I can see the movement through his chest. “No. Wasn’t a lot.” He tilts his head up at a minuscule angle to scan my face, and maybe it’s the perspective, or the weird lighting, but I could swear he’s never looked at me like this before.

Except for that time.

“So I’d…” he swallows. “Like— like to have more.”

For a few seconds, it’s silent. For a few seconds, all that there is are his dim eyes and mine. For a few seconds, we fall into each other and tread water, sinking, fading…

I break our gaze and tremblingly pluck a tissue from a box on the ground; hold it to his nose. “Blow.”

He takes a shaky breath and obeys.

Fold. “Again.”

He shuts his eyes and blows.

“Again.”

He blows until his air gives out. I drop the spent tissue.

“Again?”

He shakes his head.

“Let’s try the pill.”

He nods and stares as I open the foil for a second time and pop the new one in my mouth.

He watches, confused, until a wave of realization seems to hit him.

He stays statue-still as I lean in, put a hand on the headboard on either side of his head.

His heat, like a barrier, raises the hairs on my skin. He cups my jaw. I cradle the side of his neck, and his pulse beats at a million miles a minute. The pill begins to dissolve.

Our mouths barely touch, and I make the final connection.

Jean is tall. Jean is arrogant. Jean will laugh at you when you fall.

But Jean has the softest lips, the sweetest mouth (even when he puked out a buffet no more than half an hour ago). Jean will melt like soft butter under your touch. Jean will accept your tongue, no questions asked, and retaliate with twice the vengeance.

Like I’ve been dreaming of since that brief moment at the party, I let my hand run insouciant through his hair. No eyes watching. No social boundary.

He gasps softly for air and I do the same, pulling his scalp so he tilts to meet me better with a small grunt. God, I fucking love his hair.

Now both of his iron-hot hands are on me, hooking under my shirt, running up and down, claiming every square inch, and I let mine fall from his neck down to his slick chest down to his stomach down to his abs. Other still planted firmly in his hair, pulling, twirling, pulling, and when I tug again Jean squeezes so hard, doubling down, suddenly hungry, suddenly a starving man. Wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me closer, I oblige, hooking a leg onto his bed, between his knees, and my thigh brushes against his still-damp T-shirt, and he groans softly into my mouth—

and swallows with an ulp!

and it’s over.

I stroke his throat as the pill goes down and he stares hollowly at me until it’s gone. I recline and smile.

“Is that enough for you?”

Unblinking, he pulls me down again.

⋅ ⋆ ─────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────── ⋅ ⋆

Connie kicks the asphalt with his definitely real Gucci slides. “Are you done?”

“Shh!”

He shoots his friend a withering look — that is, as withering of a look that he can muster.

“This is creepy. And I’m cold. Can we at least—”

Sasha puts down her binoculars and shows him what a real killer glare is. He rolls his eyes and scans his phone. Eren’s sent a message to the matchmaker groupchat.

emo king🖤⛓️: are u sure this plan of urs worked out

emo king🖤⛓️: excuse me if this is harsh, but it’s probably the dumbest shit of ur dumbshit ideas

me: yeah try telling Sash that

sharmin ultra soft: Eren’s right. Chances are Jean puked and turned everyone off

intimidating woman: i think there’s a chance

emo king🖤⛓️: are u fr in on this mikasa

sashami: you guys shh the star coming

Sasha shoots him another look before putting her non-stalker scope away in preparation for the star of the day’s arrival.

“Whad’d I do?”

As far as he knows, Connie is doing everything right. He’d told everyone that he was sleeping over at Sasha’s. (Her idea.) And now it’s Monday, and it’s time for the star’s (code name) first class (and also Sasha’s), and now they’re sitting out in the cold like a couple of dumbasses watching the stairwell windows. (Also her idea.) What the heck?

“I’m going in the car,” Connie grumbles. He doesn’t wait for the inevitable retort and climbs in to the drivers’ seat.

The car. The one silver lining to this whole ordeal. He’d eaten, put his feet up in, and used up every last drop of gas on this baby and Jean couldn’t do a damned thing about it.

But the person coming through the door isn’t their star. It’s Jean. Huh?

Connie pops out of the vehicle and joins up with Sasha.

“Oh— you’re here, too?” Jean’s brow furrows deeper. “What’s going on?”

“Well, hello to you, too,” Connie grins. “Looks like you‘re doing a lot better.”

“No thanks to you lot.”

“Where are you going?” Sasha pipes in, and he knows what’s coming next. She’s using her interviewer voice.

“Just… going to class.” Jean smacks Connie’s shoulder. “Keys?”

He produces them with a flourish and a jangle and the taller takes them, unlocking the car.

Beep beep!

Sasha casually tails him, twisting around to block the driver’s side door.

“Sash.”

“Were you a good host?”

“I mean, I was really sick.”

“You have actual, proper food, right? Did you feed your dear caretaker?”

“Uh…” he smirks. “Yeah.”

“Is your room clean?”

“It’s fine!”

“Did you sleep together?”

He rolls his eyes and wedges a hand between his car and the girl. “Okay, get out.”

“Answer my question!” Sasha cries as she stumbles back and Jean hops in. Without another word, the car backs out. Jean turns and comes forward so he’s perpendicular to the parking spot before lowering his window.

“Connie! You owe me 20!” And then he’s gone.

Dumbfounded, the boy looks to Sasha, finding her staring at her phone. “What’s wrong? You on your period?”

“Oh, fuck off. Look.”

star: sorry sash,, not coming to hospitality. i got sick :(

star: jeans staying home for me tho. dont wait up <3

And the mastermind screenshots the fruits of her labour.

⋅ ⋆ ─────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────── ⋅ ⋆

would you look at that. more kissing. *throws tomato* i did 80% of this in one day. no regrets!! (said eren.) (ill shut the fuck up now) i hope you enjoyed! it actually turned out a lot less gross than i originally planned (they were gonna do it with the nyquil ewwwww) but this is fine. right? i never actually kept a pill on my tongue like that for so long so for my sanity's sake let's pretend this is how it all works.

this started out as a oneshot. however,,, i decided to add more parts to it because i'm a sucker. check it out if you like! <3

byebye

⋅ ⋆ ─────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────── ⋅ ⋆

masterlist part 2 - low tide

[romanarose]

Fic Recs

I'll admit I've been slacking. A lot. It was a high anxiety summer as you know, and I've finally been able to pretty much cut ties with an abusive friend who was causing a LOT of those anxiety and panic attacks. BUT I want to rec some of my fav writers and fav stories.

To keep the presure low on myself I am only linking ONE story per writer, whatever story that speaks to me. I do hope if you like the story you'll check out more from them!

Please remember to reblog their stories if you read them, and if you feel inclinded, leave a kind comment! Big comments are fantastic but even a short "Great story!" Means the world!

Dead Dove Do Not Eat and all dark fics will be in red. Might make a whole other dddne tag list on my dark blog on of these days lmfao

Moon Knight

Fractured Moon by @melodygatesauthor : DDDNE Yandere Moon boys x reader, non con, extreme violence but such good interpretations of the boys

Friendly Favors by @runa-falls best friend steven, friends with benefits??? friends to lovers??? yes plzzz

Rydal Keener

Oxford Comma by @whatthefishh : Collage AU, Rydall is cunty, serves cunt, and eats cunt. What can I say.

TLOU (Most of what I'm reading rn if im being honest)

Linger On by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin : Pre-outbreak!Joel, angst, yummy smut, ft. my boyfriend, Tommy (Angela said I can be Tommy's gf)

Caught by @toxicanonymity : Inspired Keep Cry'n, Joel catches you when you try to run, masterbates onto your face. part 2 has TOMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Maintainence Man series by @gracieispunk : Joel is a, well, Maintenace man in our building! He is married but that doesn't stop him from fucking you

Hungry Hearts @atinylittlepain : If ya'll know me, you know I love Bruce Springsteen. I have 2 fics named after springsteen songs, one joel one javi/santi/reader. I've fallen behind on the series but loved it enough to make fan art! terrible fan art but still! Pre-outbreak, takes place in two timelines- college age and then the 2000'. Joel has Sarah, reader is ellies mom which I think is fun.

Exit Wounds by @strang3lov3 : No fic masterlist so I tagged the main masterlist. Now listen. I love Tommy Y'all know I love tommy... but cheating on tommy? Im so sorry baby. But ur also an asshole lol. Had it coming.

Creep by @theywhowriteandknowthings : I- ugh just read it. darkish but nothing insane like the wrong way lmfao. pretty mild comparatively but use discression but THAT TWISTTTTTTTT

Only Daddy That'll Walk the Line by @millerscoffee Yellow istead of red bc its not like. dark but Joel's pretty mean

Not A Survialist Girl by @tightjeansjavi again yellow bc joel's a dick lol but THE DIRTY TALK?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Miguel O'Hara

Halo by @missdictatorme : Miguel O'Hara goes full Nathan Bateman and fucks his ai. Whore.

Only You Only Me by @astroboots : so im behind on this one too. What about it! Im terrible I know but like Hungry Hearts above I may be a slow reader but I didn't forget and also did stupid fan art of this great fic too. lol. Anyway plz read this, I cant give a great summary bc im only a few chapters in but if youre in the oscar fandon you know cici writes only bangers

No One But Me by @koshkamartell : You try to break things off with Joel and begin spending time with the hot librrian in Jackson. Joel does not like thi

Triple Frontier

Under Neon Lights by @campingwiththecharmings : sexy drunk sex with my baby boi, santi <3

Through the Scope by @ssuperficialspacecadett : Reader works for Benny and falls for frankie. Great relationships with all the boys, reader has sexual trauma so you knoooooooow i eat these fics up!!!! lovely to see all them be appriciated with special focus on FRANKIE my precious lol guy

Shared Breathes by @frenchiereading : DAD FRANKIE x teacher reader. Triple frontier may have forgotten Frankie has a baby (he deserved the money for her) BUT WE DID NOT!!!!!

The Story of Us by @pimosworld : You served in the military with the boys but they made a deal not to sleep with you. Years later after helping you escape abuse, one by one they begin to waver aka you fuck them all. FishBen as a bonus!!

Goddamn have I really only been reading TLOU XD lmfao makes sense bc thats mostly what Im writing. That and the Javier pena x reader x santi and then the will fic but im soooooooooo much of a TLOU whore rn its insane.

Im sure ill remeber some more amazing TF fics soon but for now here we are!

Gonna plug real quick my latest one shot tho bc it's a holiday and I can self promo if I want! Shana Tova, moon boys x non jewish!reader where the moon boys share a part of their jewish identity with you!

THANK YOU TO ALL WRITERS FOR YOUR HARD WORK, I APPRICIATE YOU!

If you ever seen my like and not reblog know its just bc I forgot and im sorry. If you ever tagged me in a tag game and i never responded its bc I forgot and again IM SORRY

If I didnt tag anyone and you think i didt think your fic was worthy THATS NOT IT im simply overwhelmed with how much ive read and how this summer was and i just havnt organized it all. Im sorry!!

[forgthetheaterkid]

Can you do a mini review for heathers? /not forced

I'm obsessed with it rn and you asked for asks lol :>

I’D LOVE TOO :D (AND IM SO SORRY THAT THIS IS LATE)

Heathers

Rating: 5/5

How familiar I am: I’ve seen the og movie, a bootleg, and I’ve memorized the soundtrack

Characters: I love these characters so much! I really like how the musical gives Veronica way more depth and shows her regret for killing Heather C, Kurt and Ram (they really show this in “Prom or Hell”) ALSO CASTING DIRECTORS WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE HEATHER CHANDLER AND JD HOT???? I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ATTRACTED TO A (pardon my language) MYTHIC BITCH AND A PSYCHOPATH!!

Plot: Aw look! A girl finally gets her wish to be popular! 😊 And she meets a cute, totally mentally stable boy ☺️! I’m sure no murders will happen here 😁

Ok but for real this is such an interesting plot. When I first listened to it, you literally could not tell what was happening next. It’s really entertaining and gives a lot of characters a chance in the spot light.

Songs: Dare I say there’s not a single bad song. Candy Store? Iconic, even though my alto ass can’t hit those notes. My Dead Gay Son? Hilarious and their rainbow ties kill me each time. Meant to be yours? I love acting out being a little bit psycho :) Dead Girl Walking Reprise? I’m not quite sure why this song scratches my brain perfectly but it was my third most played song on Spotify last year. Blue? Even though I prefer “Your Welcome” since I think it handles the topic better, Blue is still unsettling under its upbeat demeanor. (just like All You Wanna Do) I could literally do a mini review on each of these songs if somebody wanted (actually that might not be a bad idea because I’ve lost a wee bit of motivation to do big reviews everyday as you could tell) These songs are great and the only one I’m not the biggest fan of is “Kindergarten Boyfriend” but I’m not taking off points because I can kinda sing it :3

Final thoughts: This is such a good musical with great characters, (AND great character development), iconic costumes, fantastic songs, and an all around fun (and kinda murdery) time!

ALSO FUN FACT WHEN JD SAYS “You’ll go to some college and marry a Lawyer” THATS A REFERENCE TO LEGALLY BLONDE BECAUSE ONE OF THE PRODUCERS (or maybe writers idk) ALSO WORKED ON THE LEGALLY BLONDE MUSICAL

[homesickwhispers]

Omg you wanna be a singer/musician?! I do too! I play guitar and I’ve been singing for a while. I know your music is probably so good you seem like such a cool person!!

(also I love all your stories btw lol)

hi beautiful anon!!! first of all I want to say I’M SO SORRY, 😭 i saw ur ask yesterday right when u sent it and i was so excited to answer it but it was 5 AM here in my country and i was dead tired 😫 i didnt even put my phone to charge i just simply passed out in bed holding it ahahaa so im sorryy for taking a bit long to answer your girl was tired 😞

being a musician/singer was a dream of mine since i was a kid:,) i used to take piano lessons and eventually started a course in a public college where i got to perform a few times and yeah I am on college for a different course now but i still love and cherish those memories a lot 💖

i eventually had to drop out bc yk being a musician here is expensive and doesnt give you any financial return so my parents were very…strict with that and i dont judge them tbh so i really have no idea how my future with music will be haha i just know that i want to have some tunes out and who knows what it can lead to right? :,)

the cost to produce one single song here in my city is literally the same amount/sometimes more as my paycheck 😮‍💨

thats so cool that u play guitar btw i’m pretty mid at it tbh and ive been trying to get better for years lol 😭 i just know the basic chords so i can write songs lol and like arctic monkeys/the strokes riffs i learned when i was fourteen and still remember somehow ahahah

but seriously tysm for ur sweet words 🌸 ur ask made me really happy! youre so lovely and i really do hope you achieve all your beautiful goals!! 💗💗😭 i’m cheering for you :,) and if you ever want to talk about music or anything else, my dms are always open! this is my favorite subject ever and i’ve been making music for almost 10 years now so …i’m here for that 🫂 us indie artists have to stick together 🤝

[pnrp1echa1k]

I am going to post more yaoi content whether or not my only writing ability is to express story through art like a storybook, Im gonna start rlly simple so sorry if it’s weird sounding it’s like 1 am LMAO

Me and my partner make SO many aus with Cyrus and John but this is the MOST developed.

Praise the Sun, which is just a swap au basically. John becomes the leader of Team Galactic and Cyrus becomes a priest.

I imagine they were probably roommates in college, since priests need at least a bachelor’s degree in order to become an actual priest. Sinnoh being. well. Literally the home of pokemon god so.

Cyrus finds faith in Arceus and John decides to not be a priest.

They split. Cyrus going to Unova probably, John staying in Sinnoh.

Molly is also here! I guess only for a plot device tho. She and John get married and later divorced. (Like in canon LMAO)

Really funny to me, the divorce is what made John spiral into forming Team Galactic. Calling up Lisa to join him, to which she is named “Earth”.

He names himself “AMARIS” (sun and moon parallels….explosio) Amaris now stating that the man “John Ward” is dead.

There is multiple endings to this au. All of which include Cyrus coming back to Sinnoh to find John after the events of FAITH. Only to find him in the Distortion World. (I would imagine that adventure would look like that secret fan game in the FAITH files. Actually! I made art for the high score screen of it for PtS! It’s old idk if I should post it lol)

This au also connects to my pokefaith au I’ve posted a few times. But not really, I do think Gary is still here.

They are very silly to me but also a little bit toxic yaoi. Poor things.

[laurzvahll]

for the rockstar phos au, what's the equivalent of the winter arc here? whats going to happen to antarc, and will it give phos ptsd and hallucinations like in canon?

HELLO ANON!! Thank u for the ask😆😆 answering from my phone rn because I didn’t want to wait.

This post might get long so im gonna cut it here

ALRIGHT, a little bit on Antarc and the winter arc. Just a warning that characters might be a little ooc im trying my best LOL. This isn’t 100% set in stone, and if people have better suggestions or ideas I will be very glad to hear them considering I just thought of this AU for funsies so the routes I made up may not be the best there are. If that makes sense.

So, initially I wanted Phos to be invited by Dia to a holiday party or maybe just a normal house party towards the beginning of December. All the college gems are celebrating being on winter break and whatnot. Phos goes because I don’t think Phos would reject a party invite, but also because it’s mentioned that there’s a possibility Cinnabar might be there. Spoiler alert, Cinnabar is in fact not at the party. But it’s okay because Phos takes this as an opportunity to get to know others more. They’re having quite a bit of fun, but once the other ‘gems’ start asking if they’re going to submit their college application and join them, Phos avoids the questions and decided to ask Dia if there’s a quiet room where they could take a quick break.

Dia leads Phos to the room and Phos closes the door behind them, only to realize there’s already someone else there too! And this is none other than Antarc, who im thinking of making some sort of exchange student to explain why they’re only around some months of the year. Phos sits down somewhere and wants to start a conversation but Antarc looks very busy (on their phone, totally busy). But Phos starts talking anyway after being bored for a couple seconds, and while Antarc is very hesitant at first, it’s not long before they both end up moving to a small couch in the room to continue their conversation. I’d like to think they talked for hours, Phos doing most of the talking ofc but Antarc seemed content with it. At some point, Dia comes back in surprise to see them still here and lets them know that the party is over. Phos says they better walk back to their apartment, and Antarc offers to walk them so Phos wouldnt have to walk home alone at like 3 in the morning. So they walk to Phos's apartment and Phos offers to exchange numbers. And thats pretty much how their first meeting goes! :3

I have a bunch of little scenarios thought out for the time they spent together but i dont want the post to get tooo long so just know that im thinking Phos's help towards Antarc's 'work' would be helping Antarc write a song maybe perhaps NOT TOO SURE YET but i do want this AU to revolve a lot around music :p

As for what happens to Antarc, (THIS MAY CHANGE) sorry guys but in my AU i am NOT letting Antarc die i cannnottt. But i Will let Phos believe Antarc is absolutely dead. The only reason im not letting them die completely is bc i want them to come back like at the end of canon where theyre turned into a lunarian. Im not entirely sure how im going to go about it, but theres going to be an incident where Phos and Antarc will get hurt, and Phos will only be able to watch unable to help Antarc at all just like in canon. Antarc is going to disappear, most likely to a hospital lawl, and the accident will make them have to go back home without Phos even knowing if they survived. For a reason i havent yet decided, Phos's texts cant reach Antarc either so that rly makes them believe Antarc issss x_x.

Phos's mental health plummets, their guilt is immense and they start not being able to sleep because when they do sleep their dreams are filled with that accident replaying over and over. They always believe to see Antarc out of the corner of their eye, and they do have full on hallucinations like in canon and their ptsd, i will not erase that important part of their character 🙏

Thats pretty much it for now sorry this is so long i rly didnt think it was gonna be this long LMAOOO. thank u sm for the ask im very happy to be able to talk about my AU xP

[tillman]

I’m really sorry this stuff is happening to you. If I may offer something to chew on: may I ask what the inspiration or thought process was behind that comic of the catboy who impaled himself upon the spear? I’m not catholic and I am entranced by that comic. I really love it. It feels like a theology for some other existence.

lol its ok !! ty. i mostly just like excuses to interrogate how i feel about stuff more than im actually upset about stuff rn. also WOOF. thats a rough one.

the catboy longinus comic is still kinda one of my favorite things ive ever made. i think the context it was written under explains a lot about my thoughts on it and its meaning tbh (the context being i had kidney stones from stress about failing though college and dropping out and having to move back home). the saint, saint longinus also holds a lot of meaning to me, being the patron saint of the blind and the legionary that stabbed jesus while he was on the cross to see if he was dead.

beyond that i dont know how much i can really explain about that in words. it came from a very strange place in myself and i kinda scribbled it out in one night and posted it before being driven to the hospital LOL.if the question is why tehyre catboys fuck if i know. i genuinely can not explain that one.

[dollwritesarchive]

BABE HIII I MISSED YOU!! I've been super busy with work/college recently AND it was my birthday (which I celebrate for like a week lol) so I've been caught up in that but now things are finally starting to calm down! Unfortunately I haven't had alot of down time recently, and any tv time I did have was taken up by watching house of the dragon and desperately trying to finish game of thrones lol so I havent been able to watch any of the animes on my list BUT I finally did finish game of thrones literally a couple days ago so I'll finally be able to start one 😁 which one I'm not sure right now its between aot, jojo's, and hxh (which I saw you started recently 👀 tbh I'm scared of the person I might become once I get introduced to chrollo) so if you have a suggestion on which one I would love to hear it!

Also BACHIRA!!? You have such taste LOL hes my favorite too 🖤 Your blurb was literally so spot on to how I imagined bachira too it's crazy, I definitely see him as a biter lol and omg the "it gets you wet when I tell you no" STOOOPP 🤤. You know that position where the girl is on top and the guy is like fucking up into her really fast? That's what I always think of with bachira lol like sure he says you can try being on top for once but the second you sink down on him hes wrapping his arms around you anchoring you in place and fucking you up 💖

I literally stopped dead in my tracks and gasped when I saw you're considering writing for dabi like OH!!? My FAVORITE writer on here writing for my FAVORITE character might actually kill me I don't know if my heart can take it 😭 I know you havent seen mha yet but dabi just had like HIS MOMENT and yes I will be adding a bunch of tiktoks below for it lol

Also are you excited for the new season of demon slayer 👀 God himself will not be able to stop me from seeing it in theaters idc if I cant get tickets I WILL be witnessing akaza and doma on the big screen

I actually have so many tiktoks to send you it's crazy lol

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRG9LWW2/ HELLO?? If he looks like this I'm so excited to see kokushibo

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRGHnTgo/ the fact I'll also be able to see gyutaro in theaters 👀

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRGHoLg6/ my fav feminist 💖

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRG96dkW/ who tf allowed him to be this pretty 👀

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRG9j1QN/ him falling to his knees actually makes me wanna cry

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRG9LTS1/ HIS VOICE 👀

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRGHt3GN/

Now for dabi 👀

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRGHwmb3/ I volunteer

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRG9jw7c/ my unhinged boy 💖

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRG9REHL/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRGHv4Ss/ HIS LAUGH https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRGHWfE9/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRGHWPwt/ PLEASEEE MY GOD

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRGH3Hut/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRG96K12/ the fact they did it on purpose too lol

I'm so sorry I sent like an absurd amount of tiktoks LMAO but I've been saving them up for you 😘 I hope you've been doing well and I'm so excited to catch up on more of your fics 🖤 jjk anon

HI BABY OMG HOW ARE YOU IM SO GLAD YOURE BACK

This is a little bit late BUT I SAW ALL THOSE LINKS AND I WAS LIKE OH LORDT IM GOING TO NEED SOME TIME TO GO THROUGH THESE

PLEASE SEND HELP THESE HXH VILLAINS ARE RUJNING MY LIFE

I haven’t even gotten to chrollo yet I’m in some DEEP SHIT

PERSONALLY I would really like to see you watch AOT first!! it’s only because it’s my number 1 and I really really really love to talk about it 🥺🥺🥺

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD WATCH IF YOU HAVENT YET ?? GANGSTA! ITS ONLY GOT ONE SEASON AND I JUST WATCHED IT RECENTLY AND I AM HEAD OVER HEELS FOR WORICK AND NIC ( IT DOESNT HELP THAT THEIR VAS ARE SUKUNA AND NANAMI )

BACHIRA YES

So gagamaru is actually my fave of the boys

LOVE JUST A LITTLE ( big ) FREAK BUT BACHIRA IS SECOND

And then… there’s barou I think I just simp for anyone sukuna’s va voices honestly

DABI YES THAT IS 1000000% YOUR INFLUENCE because I’ve still only seen the clips that you sent me, but I WILL ADMIT I am more receptive to some of the characters in mha

LIKE I FIND THE ONE MAGICIAN GUY REALLY HOT AND I CAN NEVER REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT HE HAS THE BALLS YA KNOW

LIKE THE BLUE ONES

Black hair, wears a mask I think? IDK IVE SEEN THE PIC OF HIM ALL BLOODY FACED MISSING PART OF HIS TORSO AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS SEXY OF HIM

But I have been itching to write for dabi AND IM THINK THONKING HARD ABOUT IT

There will for sure be some dabi food on this blog very very soon

BABE DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW EXCITED I AM FOR DEMON SLAYER MY ULTIMATE FAVE IN THE SHOW ( KOKUSHIBO ) IS ANIMATEEEDDD FINALLYYYYY IVE BEEN WAITING ON HIM

I’ve also got an au coming out once this season does, because it’s all about the demons ❤️❤️❤️

YES TIKTOK TIME OMG IVE MISSED BEING FED

I’m also gonna send you a bunch that I’ve been saving, some are hxh some are jjk IVE JUST BEEN SAVING LIKE CRAZY

GYUTARROOOOO I LOVE THAT FREAKY LITTLE WEIRDO lil mantis man 😭😭😭

THE DIO ONE ???? KICKING MY FEET SCREAMING AND CRYING THATS MY DADDDDYYYY

THE SLUTTY LITTLE WAIST ON DABI I WANNA GRAB HIS HIPS IM NOT PLAYING AROUND 🔪🔪🔪

Bro his laugh… I adore it please

OH GOSH YOU FED ME SO WELL AND I HAVE BROUGHT DESSERT:

demon slayer ( plus dabi )

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNACsJ/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNGm9w/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNXa5v/ THE KOKU GIRLIES ( me ) STAY WINNING

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNHhXC/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNUWmK/

HXH ( mostly feitan and hisoka )

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNHwm7/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNfyeV/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNDqjj/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNHY9w/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNq2T9/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNU4dy/

JJK ( BACK TO THE ROOOOTTTSSS )

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNph6o/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNUHEr/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNVDQt/

SOME GANGSTA TOO

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNC2A8/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtN494w/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNgsoN/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNXp3b/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtNX4Ko/

IM SO SORRY THAT WAS WAY MORE THAN I INTENDED SOSKSKKS

[cosmixbun]

my favorite moments from the owl house finale OBVIOUS SPOILERS DUH (timestaps + thoughts)

EVERYTHING IS IN TIMESTAMPS IN RELATION TO THE YOUTUBE VIDEO EPISODE AND NOT THE DISNEY+ EPISODE (they might be the same but it's 2:45 am (now 3:36 am as i publish this) and the disney+ ep isn't out yet lol)

4:50- i love hunter so much he's just like me and when i saw this i think my heart killed itself oh my god.

6:36- i love him, that's it i love him every time he's on screen i get so excited he's literally me, i am him

11:14- i cannot get over how much i love this design ??? i also love raine, ik that they r literally possessed rn (it's one of my favorite tropes omg i just cant they did the belos possession with my two favorite characters in this show)

15:50- i love raine SO MUCH i literally do not care that i keep saying this i just love raine. and the sterness of them saying get out to belos ??? ur literally my fav pls.

21:37- GAHHHHH THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE ???? i love seeing monster animated ESPECIALLY big ones with little details omg i wanna redraw this version of belos so bad.

21:44- MY FAVORITE SHOT ??? i live for skull shots.

22:58-die. die. die luz why would u do this and rip my heart out and step on it i cant

24:14- die. die. die. i started sobbing i hate watching other peoples reactions to emotional moments, it makes me cry more. AND CAMILA CRYING EVEN THO SHE'S STILL A PUPPET ?? death. im being buried alive actually.

24:54- THESE CLOSE UPS. KILLED. ME. the very slight detail to the lines is all it did for me, i literally wanted to rip my eyes out and watch these close up again.

25:14- KING ???? OH MY GOD ???? sorry i just love this little guy and seeing him angry is just so good i love it.

25:19- MY WIFE ????? get angry again pls omg i love u sm her losing control is also another one of my favorite tropes to exist ever.

29:59- omg dana im kissing the ground u walk on for this. i LOVE DETAILED MONSTERS OH MY GOD ???? dana u genius you.

31:40- THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND GRIEF OR DEATH :((((( so u want me to die, so u want me dead, so u want me to cry

32:15- GRAAAAHHHHH THIS ENTERANCE ???? I LOVE LUZ SM THIS IS SUCH A LUZ MOMENT.

34:13- I LOVE ANIMATION OH MY GOD I JUST ASDFJOEIAGJEORHGIERJROFJIER HG9ERAHIU. thank you animation, for existing.

37:10- STOP I LOVE THIS. ILY RAINE. AND THE LITTLE EDA AND RAINE MOMENT ??? stop i NEED them to kiss rn, rnrnrnrnrnrn.

38:02- THIS. FUCKING. FIGHT. "how anime can we get the entire scene." AND THEN BLEW IT TO 300000X MORE.

38:33- THE CALL BACK AFJAOGFJIHSAODFJSDFN i died actually, i cannot belive this. i think someone called it and im kissing their brain rn oh my god this is just so luz and then instead of LUZURA SHE SAYS LUZ, SHE GREW INTO HERSELF HERE.

38:55- MY FAVORITE LUZ MOMENT EVER OMG THIS IS SO LUZ OMG I LOVE THE ANIMATION AND THE PRESENTAION OF THE VOICE AND THEN JUST GAH I LOVE.

41:17- "bitch please." god i loved this moment. luz could literally give less of a damn. i loved belos as a villain and just this is so satisfying to luz and to the clawthore's.

44:13- HUNTER I LOVE YOU OMG PLS U CAN BE HAPPY NOW.

44:22- he's just like me fr, ik he got that pizzazz to him too, just look at him.

45:42- EDA AND RAINE NEST ?!?!?!? crying sobbing throwing up, oh my god when is it my turn to be happy.

46:08- CAMILA AND EDA MOMENT. :'( i shed a tear i loved this moment even if it was really tiny.

46:20- HOOTY AND LILY ADIFHASDIFHASIFI god i love lilith sm

46:42- OMG KILL ME AND KISS ALREADY PLS crying i love them sm

47:00- EDA AND RAINE PLS I LOVE YOU I CANT EVEN. (also didn't mention it before but raine's scars ??? <333333 def just like me) ((where is my eda pls i want to be like them))

48:03- OLDER LUZ AND THE PICTURES FSDKFSJDOFJASIF OLDER VEE ???? cried, im graduating this year and to see the graduation picture and luz going to college is so me and i just :((

48:25- AAAAA OLDER LUZ !!!! i love this design sm i see nothing wrong tbh AND THE FLAPJACK TAT OMG :((((

49:13- SOBBING WILLOW LOOKS SO CUTE OMG

49:25- MY BOY KFJAFJDFJ HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE CALEB I WAS SO SHOCKED FJASDFHA AND THEN THE TALISMAN BUSINESS SIGN IS FLAPJACK AND HE ALSO HAS A TATTOO AND NO MORE EYE BAGS AND I JUST :DDDDD HIS DESIGN IS SO GOOD IT SUITS HIM SO WELL AND I JUST :D. my boy is all grown up :(

49:34- stop i love the animation and them sm omg i cant (im not a huge huntlow shipper, i can see it but i like them as friends too)

50:08- OLDER LILITH OMG MY OTHER WIFE she so cute she is also just like me (she has pizzazz bc i have pizzazz and i think all characters i like have it too bc they r just like me)

50:20- i love older amity AND HER MENTOR IS LILITH WHICH IS SO CUTE :(( god i love them sm

50:27- HARPY LILITH MY BELOVED OMG I JUST CANT UR SO JFASDFHOAJO

51:10- i need these two to kiss so bad it's not even funny oh my god fanfic writers pls GET ON THIS. i love both of these guys so much

51:15- OLDER RAINE DFJAISDFIASDHF OIADJFOSADFH OASJF sorry i died their suit is so ???? gah i love them i just cant contain myself i love them.

52:10- GUSSSSSS !!!! finally a hair change babes it looks so good. and the boiling ises and the human realm exchange program !!! gah i love gus

52:16- WIFEY MOMENT OMG HIIII whoever gave the idea for a hook is getting kisses from me oh my GOD. she is so <33333

52:30- KING !!!! he's growing into himself i love it :D

52:48- sobbing they all look so good i cant even tell u how much i love them all

53:00- THIS. this kiss means so much to me it's so like authentic ??? of course the other ones are too but something about this one being so casual, like theres no threat and they just saw eachother, it's a kiss for just being there, in the moment.

53:19- crying, shaking, screaming, crying, this pan is so cute i cant even

54:46- this. is how u end a show. omg i just, wow

[thetangibleghost]

I saw someone else do this and i am a follower. I get like three votes on polls max but im just curious. Also ive been wanting to make a list of my WIPS for a while

Dead Sea: Sci-fi about the ships humanity fled to while earth died/healed. Around the year 3500(?idk). Centered around five kids who witness a kidnapping of a classmate and together start to uncover the human trafficking ring that connects all the ships.

The Sword Story: Three heros are chosen by a fantasy kingdom. They are a very smart washer-woman, a walking skeleton, and a guy with way too many names. One of these heros is supposed to be the chosen one who is prophesied to defeat a yet unknown evil. Except none of them are actually the chosen one. Theres dragons and swords and lots of flowers. Told from multiple perspectives, the sword is one.

Children of God: Supernatural fic baybeee. Literally just a hodgepodge of random scenes right now where both Sam and Dean have DID. Supernatural stuff still exists but its a lot more... benign, closer to the real world. Hunters are just vigilantes... essentially. this one is a MESS. but im like giving up on making it cohesive and just writing random scenes.

jelly/bread/wine: three part story each featuring a romance where one of the characters has a stigmatized mental illness. Deals a lot with grief in general. Jelly is about a foster kid in a boarding school who has problems that cant be diagnosed because shes 16. Bread is two childhood best friends, now in college they both have autism... and some other stuff. Wine is a refuge from a war torn country learning that the trauma they experienced before the war gave them DID and then they fall in love. They all has like intertwining characters and settings and such.

Sorry im very bad at describing stories. I have lots of other wips but these are the ones I would actually work on lol.

[forkingmyself]

#2: casings by ethel cain at 3 am

i cried and i can only think about how to make this pretty. how to turn this into a poem. i thought of a line. i keep searching for something. something wrong in my face. i cant find it but i know somethings terribly wrong. but thats not pretty enough. too direct. im tired of trying to make my suffering beautiful. i thought of killing myself but i couldnt, but i really want to, i really want to die and leave everything behind. no more friends. no more families. no more college. no more houses. but i would go to hell. then i thought, but will i still be myself in hell? i will not have this body. not being in this body is my biggest fantasy. but i would be tortured in hell. but i wouldnt be myself. i wouldnt be this. i would be something else. but i would be burning and screaming and begging. but will i care? i'll be dead by then. im not gonna be human anymore. things that were important to me when i was human will no longer matter. i will be punished. should i die? i really fucking hope i have the guts to one day. you know its really funny if some troll comments "yeah kill yourself" because lol they would be right im a pussy i wont do it for real. im sorry. i will die really soon. i dont know how but one day i will.

i plan to draw something tomorrow. i dont think i can call it a drawing. like. scribbles. im not sure. it will have lots of colors.

i dont know how to tell my parents that their child is this

nothing more than just this

and i wish they would just kill me if they knew. i wish they would make it quick so i could die without seeing a huge portion of their disappointment. i could die still thinking they loved me. i could die as their daughter.

i want to be cradled and loved and rocked and lulled and everything why did she give birth to me why did she let me grow up im so sorry i should be thankful i should be thankful i should be thankful i should be thankful

spotify is playing tyler the creator's i dont love you anymore they really said this bitch should stop crying

[dollmulder]

well- the first week of my october movie marathon is complete. so far, my favorites are creature from the black lagoon and invasion of the body snatchers.

i'll add some more slightly in depth reviews below

dracula (1931)

firstly, i love the vibes. the whole aesthetic is great, i just wish more time was spent at dracula's castle, and that there were more scenes w his wives, but that's just cuz i love beautiful women and beautiful vampire women at that. this is the first movie ive watched from the 30s, and i have to say it's quite a step up from my enjoyment of nosteratu, which if im going to be honest, i mainly couldn't get into because it was a silent film, im sorry i just dont think i can get into silent movie watching, but ill try again someday. i do however still have a deep appreciation for nosferatu due to its historical significance, and im very excited to watch robert egger's nosferatu when it comes out. in terms of scariness, i think count orlok is creepier in appearance but bela lugosi's count dracula is iconic when it comes to the idea of vampires, i just love the gothic aesthetic. one thing i don't particularly understand is why renfield became like dracula's slave. upon watching i was under the impression dracula had turned him to a vampire when his three wives tried to close in on him and he sent them away so he could have him to himself, but instead renfield just became his slave who was obsessed with eating spiders and wanted dracula to turn him to a vampire? idk. did i enjoy this movie? kind of. do i think ill ever be watching it again? probably not. am i glad i watched it however? yes, absolutely!

frankenstein (1931)

now this movie i enjoyed a tad bit more than dracula, i found it more compelling, and i found that i could get into the monster character of frankenstein more than i could dracula, but this is mostly because i was able to see and be with frankenstein's monster from his creation to his ending. i really loved the opening bit before the movie played: "i think it will thrill you. it may shock you. it might even horrify you.", and also how frankenstein's actor was simply listed as a question mark in the opening credits. brilliant! anyways, i understand people have criticisms of this movie adaptation as it differs from mary shelley's original work, which yes i have read... partially. (i read it in college but i was also going through a bad mental health period at the time so i skipped my english class a lot 🙃) but as for this movie adaptation itself without comparing it to her original story, i liked it! i feel i was able to get more into this film as i developed more feelings and connections to the characters than i did to any characters in dracula, and i don't mean to compare the movies too much, but well, they were released the same year so. i sympathized with frankenstein's monster a bit, as he didn't understand that he was a "monster" and hell i would've attacked fritz too. fuck that guy. a very small criticism i have is the scene when fritz steals the brain. i understand he stole the "criminal" brain because he accidentally dropped the "normal" brain jar (dumbass) but... wouldn't the brain still have been fine? couldn't he have picked it up off the ground and still used it? i mean dr frankenstein was literally sewing dead body parts together so who cares if the brain was a little dirty, although i suppose it could've been damaged in the fall, and that's probably the idea they were going for, but like. i feel like it would've still worked and been fine cuz it was in a glass jar and it wasn’t that big of a drop lol... but let's ignore that and move onto them using the abnormal brain. how did dr frankenstein not know until dr waldman told him? i know he was under the assumption that fritz was retrieving the normal brain, but hello? the jar was clearly labeled. like i said though this is a small criticism, im just being nitpicky here. i did quite enjoy this film, and im excited to watch bride of frankenstein at some point!

the wolf man (1941)

this movie, i don't have much to say about. coincidentally, bela lugosi has stared in the first ever 30s movie and first ever 40s movie ive watched, although in a smaller role. anyways, i unfortunately was a bit tired while watching this film as i had a long day that day so i slept through a small bit of it 😬 i watched most of the film though so im still counting it! and i looked up the wikipedia plot, as i do with a lot of movies anyway lol. but for my thoughts on the film... larry talbot was a creep weirdo in the beginning when he was trying to flirt w gwen Like okay... i know it was the 40s and it wasn't necessarily intending to be creepy but STILL. "oh im psychic (not actually i was spying on you) and i know you have these specific earrings up in your bedroom random woman i've never met before 🤪." you're a FREAK!!! anyways, i did somewhat enjoy watching this, however, it wasn't as good as i was expecting/hoping, and so far, this is my least favorite out of what ive watched this october. i'm not saying this was an awful movie by any means, it just wasn't my cup of tea, which honestly i should've expected cuz im not big into werewolf stuff. im still glad i watched it for the experience though, and maybe sometime ill try revisiting it without falling asleep lol, as there were bits of it i did enjoy.

creature from the black lagoon (1954)

now this movie, i actually enjoyed more than i thought i was going to! i'm generally not big on creature features in all honesty, but yeah as i said i enjoyed this one quite a bit! i love the costume design of the creature A LOT, and the underwater scenes were very well done. i think i like this movie as well frankenstein because these "monsters" aren't evil. they're just curious and misunderstood. the creature didn't attack carl's assistants (i forgot their names whoops) because it’s a bloodthirsty beast, but because it felt threatened and they attacked first. i don't regard this movie as scary, cuz well, in terms of horror we've progressed quite a lot since the 50s, but also because i feel a sense of sadness for the poor creature. i know it attacked/ kidnapped kay, (as well as attacking others too ofc) but i don't think this was out of malicious intent, i think the creature was fascinated with her, which obviously i’m not saying that makes it all okay cuz bitch i'd be scared too if the creature abducted me and brought me to its lair. anyways, i also skimmed the wikipedia plot for this movie, cuz like i said, i do that a lot, and the sentence "the group goes aboard the tramp steamer rita, captained by crusty lucas." made me laugh cuz like okay whyre you calling this dude crusty LMFAO 😭😭

invasion of the body snatchers (1956)

wow! this movie was great! i loved the suspense! also, i must say, becky was so beautiful and i absolutely adore the first outfit she was wearing, that dress was gorgeous on her. i also loved how she was treated as capable and not just a female character constantly needing protection of men, i think she was just as much of a hero and a star of the film as dr bennell was. it made me quite sad when she was taken over by one of the so called "pod people", i wish her and miles could've made it together, but i did like that her becoming a pod person added to miles sense of isolation at the end of the film, knowing he was the only human left out of santa mira, so im not too upset she was turned. anyways, the idea/plot of this movie is a little goofy lol, like seed pods from outer space that grow and duplicate human bodies, but that's what makes it fascinating. it's unique and interesting! and i like that there's this layer of fear added in that once these pod people take over, there'll be a loss of humanity, of love, of grief, of all feeling. humanity will cease to exist, and so will human connection as everyone will become an emotionless replica. that's the true horror. this has easily become one of my favorite movies i've watched from the 50s, and with how much i enjoyed it as well as creature from the black lagoon, i think i need to watch more 50s horror! also i'm very excited to eventually watch the 1978 version with donald sutherland.

blood and black lace (1964)

my first movie in color, and wow i must say, the colors are AMAZING! i’m writing this after just having watched the opening credits, and im already obsessed!!! i wish we could still have technicolor films today, and i don’t entirely understand why it’s considered impossible but whatever. anyways, a small criticism i have before i continue watching is that the movie is italian, but the audio is an english dub. i tried finding the original italian audio, but i guess it doesn’t exist and if i wanted to watch it in italian, it would still be a dub, so thats pointless. also- and i know this isn’t the movies fault, but the subtitles didnt match up, they said the gist of what the characters are saying but its worded differently so… there’s no point in having those on either, which is annoying as i like to watch movies with subtitles. not the end of the world, so i’ll continue as this movie still looks great visually and the plot intrigues me.

now that ive finished watching it- i can honestly say this movie was kind of mid. don’t get me wrong, i liked the plot, but somehow they made it seem… plotless?? i don’t really know how to explain it. i honestly would really love to see a modern remake, but only if they could keep the vibrant colors! that’s one thing i absolutely loved ESPECIALLY the reds! stunning!!! also lowkey all i could think abt whenever the killer was on screen was that he looked like slenderman 😭😭😭 i didn’t hate this movie by any means, but i really couldn’t get into it, and i feel so conflicted abt that because the plot does fascinate me, but the execution was just not great. it wasn’t even bad really but like i said, somehow they excelled at making it seem so boring!!! and i don’t really like the ending that much cuz like, usually im all for a woman getting revenge but girl u were literally complicit in the murders so… the whole revenge thing i think they were going for wasn’t super satisfying.

suspiria (1977)

so this movie was similar to blood and black lace with the dubbing and whatnot, however i watched this one with an italian dub, as that’s just the audio that the site i watched it on had. and again, the subtitles were a little wonky at times, which is no fault of the movie ofc, but like sometimes there would be random numbers and instead of having a double l, it would use a quotation mark? (like instead of the word “well”, the subtitles would say we”) anyways, i believe this movie was in technicolor too, as the colors were so vibrant and visually appealing. the audio design on this movie was great too, i really enjoyed that. as for the plot… it was kind of boring? it was a bit slow and i didn’t really feel any intensity or suspense while watching, but the last like 15 or so minutes i did get quite into it. the colors for these scenes were GREAT i absolutely loved the yellows. i must say though, a handful of the kills in this movie felt… pointless idk. so did some of the scares too. i did enjoy this movie, and i will be watching the 2018 remake eventually, which hopefully, even though it won’t be in technicolor obviously, will still keep up with the lighting and colors somehow. that’s one thing i just absolutely adored, especially in the ending like i said. with this thought, im going to try and seek out more technicolor horror films as im just genuinely so obsessed, that’s one thing this movie got absolutely right. also, i didn’t intend to watch blood and black lace and suspiria back to back for this reason, but apparently dario argento was influenced by blood and black lace when making this film, which makes sense bc they’re quite similar, and so im kinda glad it ended up working out this way.

october movie marathon watchlist 2024

dracula (1931)

frankenstein (1931)

the wolf man (1941)

creature from the black lagoon (1954)

invasion of the body snatchers (1956)

blood and black lace (1964)

suspiria (1977)

exorcist ii: the heretic (1977)

the slumber party massacre (1982)

halloween iii: season of the witch (1982)

friday the 13th: a new beginning (1985)

the return of the living dead (1985)

re-animator (1985)

a nightmare on elm street part 2: freddy's revenge (1985)

poltergeist ii: the other side (1986)

halloween 4: the return of michael myers (1988)

in the mouth of madness (1994)

scream 3 (2000)

28 days later (2002)

seed of chucky (2004)

final destination 3 (2006)

the texas chainsaw massacre: the beginning (2006)

wrong turn 2: dead end (2007)

saw v (2008)

get out (2017)

annabelle comes home (2019)

a quiet place part ii (2020)

fear street: 1666 (2021)

in a violent nature (2024)

maxxxine (2024)

i saw the tv glow (2024)

[missmeinyourbones]

haikyuu boys as icks

because my favorite thing is humbling men and fictional men are no exception | aot version & jjk version

atsumu:

does that thing where he "forgets to know your name" so he doesn't look obsessed with you, but in reality he just looks like a douchebag LOL he's comes up to you all nonchalant like "y/n, right?" as if he doesn't follow you on ig and like all of ur pics....and he thinks it makes him look so cool and popular and mysterious and then u look him dead in the eye and ur like "yeah, you're osamu, right?" he's humbled very quickly

osamu:

when he’s really tired or clingy, he talks in a baby voice :/ sometimes even refers to himself in the third person :/ just typing this rn is making me frown with disappointment. like yeah atsumu may be the more dramatic twin, but thats only bc he’s shameless in public. behind closed doors, osamu is right there w/ him. you find him pouting on the couch after a long day like “osamu wants cuddles >:(” or “can we make dinner together i’m hungwy >:(” big offender of the “sowwy” and “pwease” agenda. arrest him

suna:

is the embodiment of that one trend where you tell guys they look like they can’t swim and they get so unnecessarily defensive about it LOL. you say he “gives off a vibe that he can’t swim that well” and hes DISTRAUGHT...immediately whipping out all of his cards to prove you wrong like “obviously i can swim, wtf let’s go find a public pool rn and i’ll show you how good i can swim” also gets you back in such a ruthless way like “okay, but i can. and you look like you don’t know how to read.” feelings end up hurt on both ends :/

hinata:

whenever you guys go to the store, he holds up the line because he’s like “oh, i have a coupon for that!!! :)” but it's never convenient at all. it could be for the most minuscule or absurd products too, like toilet paper or ballpoint pens, and he’s digging through his wallet once you guys reach the register. like baby AREN’T YOU A PRO ATHLETE???? i think you can afford the extra $1.42 for granola bars. you bring up the idea of him having the coupon ready before he gets in line and he’s like “idk i don't wanna hold it for that long 🥱”

kageyama:

LEAVES HIS BEARD HAIR IN THE SINK AFTER SHAVING. oh my god, i am making myself angry rn. you rinse it out every single time and when you ask him if he knows what happens to all of his little trimmings, he’s just like “idk....i guess they just evaporate or slide down over time” when you literally clean up after him like a maid :I he makes me sick (inspired by that one tiktok of the oblivious husband and knowing wife)

bokuto:

doesnt understand politics so he just labels himself as “non-political” which comes across as him just being douchey :/ it makes him look so ignorant when he first tells you :/ like a man who thinks he’s too good to be socially and politically aware bc it doesn't affect him / when in reality, politics just really isn't his forte academically and he’s never learned the basics of it :/ because he is really smart ok i stand by this!!!! he’s a scholar and a college grad...he just only focuses on his areas of interest. take a gov course baby expand ur horizons

akaashi:

if you ask him those silly hypothetical relationship questions (the ones where you just want him to say something sweet, something that proves he loves you) he is not having it in the slightest. you ask him “would you still love me if i was a worm?” and he’s deadly serious like “no? one, that's not even possible. two, if i’m ever attracted to a worm then i need to be constrained and arrested. three, i think that’s really wrong for you to expect me to seamlessly deal with that big of a transition in our relationship--” and you have to be like OH MY GODDD OKAYYYYY IT WAS A TEST!!!  AND YOU FAILED!!!

kuroo:

millennial core LOLLLLLLL im sorry. he posts a pic of him after he gets his hair cut and captions it “just did a thing! :P” EWWWW my toes are curling rn. he takes his selfies from the highest mom facebook angle and does the signature middle aged white man smirk. if he ever films a video of himself it’s so cringy bc he does the millennial zoom in and talks as if he’s a movie protagonist. attends a single work meeting and claims he’s “adulting 😂” at the ripe age of 27

oikawa:

when he really likes you, he does that thing where he's like "you're just not like other girls/people!!!! you're so different!!!!!!" you do basic human things like don't constantly wear makeup or eat whatever you please and he's like "i love how you can be so real around me, you're so quirky <3" you shave your legs or do your hair and he’s like “baby you don’t have to do all of this for me!!!!” he’s never touched a woman in his life. self unaware king 

iwaizumi: 

swears that period cramps are not that bad and that people who get periods over-exaggerate to make men (or people who don’t get periods in general) feel guilty about not dealing with them. believes with his entire chest that “getting kicked in the balls” is equivalent to the pain of childbirth. one day you jokingly buy one of those period cramp simulator machines and hook him up to it. he's all “i’m gonna be fine babe” and “it probably just feels like a stomach ache”.... he doesnt get past the 3rd setting and is holding back tears when you finally turn it off 

[7darkshadows]

bts fic recs: part four

heavy smut - pwp, pure filth, one way ticket to hell lmao

romance - fluff, romcom, angst, may contain smut but mainly plot focused

poly/multi - reader x multiple members/ot7, usually contains mxm, basically everyone x everyone bc we love everybody hehe

note: reader/oc is female and uses she/her pronouns

🌹= favorite

heavy smut

New Guy 🌹

fuckboi!knj x org pres!reader (uni!au, e2l??? – TENSIONNN UGH, JOON IS SO HOT OMFG)

Reflection

sub!pjm x dom!reader (warnings: mommy kink, strap-on)

Please

sub!jjk x softdom!reader (mommy kink again hehe, whiny jk, lots of begging)

Kill to kiss you

mafia!jjk x prostitute!reader (mafia!au, warnings: guns, violence, YANDERE JK – the ending is so sick and i love it👀 why am i like this)

Satan on Strip

satan!jjk x reader

Prowl

vampire!jjk x vampire!reader

poly/multi

REC.

client!ksj x escort!reader x cameraman!jjk (softdom!ksj, switch!reader, sub!jjk, warnings: rimming (f receiving) – just really filthy ;))

romance

Love to hate (series) 🌹

CEO!jjk x CEO!reader (ceo!au, slow burn?, the e2l+fuck buddies combo✨ – the pining is honestly killing me and that's exactly why i like it, u already know it's good when it's written by shanna <3)

Puddle of Love (series)

rocker!jjk x artist!reader (f2l, slow burn, really angsty, they're both musicians)

Dead of the night (series)

demon!jjk x doc?reader (jk fell from the sky mc took care of him – im not sure if reader is a nurse or a doc im sorry lol)

Waking up in Vegas

jjk x reader (pwp with feels and it's just cute and funny – got drunk and accidentally got married in vegas)

Falling, falling, gone

campuscrush!kth x reader (uni!au, soccer team captain tae, f2l – they're both idiots and oblivious trope)

Absolute

fuckboi!jjk x tutor!reader (fuckbuddies2lovers – based on 'boyfriend' by ariana)

All the Good Girls Go to Hell 🌹

devil!jjk x reader (mc's parents are too *protective* so she rebels ;))

Nephalem

demon!jjk x angel!reader (established relationship, daughter of gabriel & son of lucifer)

Hotter Than Hell (series) 🌹

fallenlucifer!jjk x reader (e2l – the tensionnn, it's ongoing still waiting for the final chapter!!)

L'amour fou 🌹

serialkiller!jjk x psychiatrist!oc (oc named iris, thriller!au, very yandere jk – VERY WELL WRITTEN IT SHOULD BE PUBLISHED LIKEE, the whole concept is crazy and sick obviously perfect for psychothriller, got goosebumps)

Raven Unit (series)

jjk x reader (political!au, taskforce!au, jjk was assigned to protect the daughter of the president mc)

Ride or Die (ongoing drabble series) 🌹

mafia!jjk x reader ft. knj (mafia!au, exes!au angst – warning: drug usage, toxic relationship, kindaaa yandere-ish? behavior ig)

Broken Codes (ongoing series) 🌹

mafia!jjk x mafia!reader (mafia!au, e2l, one night stand – im a sucker for mafia aus especially when oc is also a baddie)

Flesh and Blood (series)🌹

zombie!jjk x reader (sci-fi, post-apocalyptic, crack lmao bff joon is hilarious – inspired by warm bodies!! i fucking love that movie)

Love Lockdown (ongoing series) 🌹

myg x reader (zombie apocalypse!au, E2L YESSS, my new fav ongoing fic)

Wasteland, baby! 🌹

myg x reader (post-apocalyptic!au, depression – angsty i actually cried i really recommend listening to the song(by hozier with the same title) while reading)

Wanderlust 🌹

writer!myg x reader (angst, fluff, strangers2lover – traveling together with yoongi and it's just very wholesome)

No choice (next to you)

fratboy!myg x reader (college!au, neighbors!au, frat party, fluff, angst bc they're both idiots – i feel like I've sinned enough that day i had to take a break from all that smutty shit💀 this cute romcom is perfect it cleansed my soul)

Shades of Wrong

slytherin!pjm x gryffindor!reader (hogwarts!au, e2l, quidditch – of course jimin is the slytherinest slytherin)

poly/multi

Getting Back into the Swing of Things (series)

ot7 x reader (FLUFF, rich ceo bts, bangtan are boyfriends, mc is joon's ex – they all fell in love yey)

drabbles/imagines/established relationship

in the soop | collection - jjk

again most of them are jungkook fics🙈

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk