#sorry if u wanted the sunset flag i just preferred this one

[pridebicons]

aroace lain pride icons

requested by anon

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[irwinkitten]

colours | c.h

notes: so it’s birthday boi’s birthday and i figured i’d finally finish this. it’s the final instalment of the bi!reader series. mahooooosive shoutout to @burncrashbromance who triggered the entire series off lmao. love u jill. warnings: none word count: 6.4k

luke, michael, ashton

donate to my ko-fi here

-

“C’mon mate! It’ll be a good laugh and maybe you’ll at least get talking to a new chick. You need to forget about Jodie.” Calum stared at Luke for a full minute before sighing.

“Fine. But I swear to god if you’re trying to set me up Hemmings, I will hunt you down and give Sierra something to complain about.” Calum scowled and Luke smirked.

“I’m a music major, not a football player.” Calum snorted.

“So I’ll just break your hands. Don’t play me Luke.” Luke met Calum’s stare for a full minute before huffing.

“God, why are you so fucking difficult sometimes?” Calum knew that the barb was playful and the smile took away any bite from his words. “It’s colour coded. There are glow sticks at the door, they’re pretty strict on this rule because these parties have had such high success rates and minimal damage.”

Calum raised a dark eyebrow at Luke who grinned from his spot on the couch.

“You could’ve said this at first. I’d have been more inclined to not argue with you then.” Luke shrugged.

“You’re still coming, regardless. Green is single, red is taken. Yellow is looking for friends. They even have colour choices for gender preferences. Pink if you’re looking for ladies, blue if you’re looking for a man. Purple for any.” He continued the explanation and Calum nodded, silently letting him know as he continued through his photos.

“What time is the party?” Calum finally looked up from his finished photos and Luke beamed in relief.

“It starts at eight, curfew is two.” Calum sighed before holding down the home button on his iPhone.

“Hey Siri, set a reminder to get ready for the party at seven thirty.” The automated voice replied with the reminder set and Luke laughed.

“Trust me Cal, you’re gonna love it.” He pushed himself up off the sofa, heading towards the door. “Want me to pick you up any food? I’m gonna get some snacks and a couple of beers?” Calum shook his head at Luke who saluted before disappearing out of their dorm and he sank down into his spot, going through the images.

He enjoyed this side of his work but with the notepad beside him, he made the notes of annotations for later, knowing that he was never going to remember each choice later on.

He’d barely heard Luke returning. His eyes studying each photo until he reached the last one, stretching out his back as he glanced at the time.

Six thirty.

Opening a word document, he re-adjusted himself before he began to type, checking references of each photo and noting down even the smallest changes compared to the original.

It was the shrill reminder going off that jolted him from his annotating and he scowled at his phone for a second before reminding himself that he promised Luke and he could come back to this in the morning. 

Once his work was saved, he collected his stuff and made his way back to his room. It didn’t take much for him to put on a fresh black button up, leaving the top few buttons undone, swapping his grey joggers for the black dress pants, tucking the shirt into his waist as he stood in front of the mirror, eyes studying his blond hair. 

It took him less than five minutes to sort his hair out, fingers running some gel through the strands and pushing it into a quiff. A dab of cologne later and some deodorant, he stepped out of his room just as Luke did who had opted for an olive green shirt, seemingly sharing the same idea as Calum to leave the top few buttons undone.

Luke grinned at him, curls falling to the side.

“Look at you all dressed up.” Calum pushed his friends shoulder with a laugh before they headed into their kitchen, pulling out and sharing a couple of beers.

“Just because I prefer to hide behind the camera doesn’t mean I’m completely useless, Luke.” They both laughed before there was a knock at their door and Luke headed over to open it, letting in two of their other friends.

It was definitely a group that many wouldn’t have thought friends. Ashton was the star football player, majoring in business with a minor in music. Michael was majoring in music with Luke, taking a minor in english. And there Cal was, doing his major in photography and media studies, whilst doing a minor in music. It was the one thing that had joined the four of them together and their friendship had bonded almost instantly and it’d been tight since day one. 

“You’re coming out with us to the party? Wicked!” Ashton greeted Calum, pulling him into a one armed hug before the two pulled away, wide grins on their faces. 

“Luke had me convinced, otherwise I’d have been hidden in my room working on the fuckin’ annotations of every single photo I’ve been editing.” 

“You definitely need to let loose tonight. And I’m going back to Sierra’s place if you do decide to bring any ladies back.” Luke waggled his eyebrows, making the other two laugh as Calum’s cheeks flushed a light pink.

“You’re all assholes and I’m not drunk enough to deal with you all. Who’s up for shots?” 

By the time the four boys had piled themselves into an Uber, once they arrived to the club that was hosting the party, Luke smirked at the line of people waiting to get in. 

Once he’d given their names and they’d flashed their I.D’s to the bouncer, groans erupting from the queue that was steadily growing longer, they shared matching grins as they headed to the small station, a young guy monitoring the glowsticks. 

Calum could see the benefits, snapping a green and pink one around his wrist, watching as Luke snapped red and yellow around his wrists, whilst Ashton followed his lead and instead of a pink, Michael snapped a purple one around his wrist, earning a look from Luke.

“You guys knew.” Michael deadpanned and Luke snorted.

“But tonight of all nights you’re going to practically announce to campus that you like both?” Michael shrugged, a grin on his lips.

“No better way to do it really. And hey, if I meet someone cute, even better.” This made Calum laugh as they headed into the main area, the loud bass thudding through the floor as the four of them reached the bar, Calum raising a twenty to flag down the bartender. 

Once drinks were ordered and paid for, they kept to their group before Sierra showed up and pulled Luke onto the dancefloor. Michael split off not long later and then it was just Ashton and Calum, surveying the group of young adults, dancing, drinking and just generally having fun.

That was when Calum first spotted her, a gleaming purple wristband paired with green, chatting up a pretty blonde who was wearing a pink one. Her eyes met his as she looked around for a second, a smirk flickering onto her lips. He nodded towards her, a smile on his own as he watched the two disappear amongst the crowds and he found himself chatting with a few girls who had the red and yellow bands around their wrist, the conversations easy, even after Ashton had his attention captured by another girl, making Calum laugh.

He continued to drink, content to stay close to the bar as people chatted with him and went, Callie from his class appearing with her girlfriend in tow, wrapping him in a hug as her usual greeting before promising to catch up with him over lunch in the next couple of days.  

Eventually he pushed off from the bar and headed out to the smoking area. Pulling the cigarette to his lips, lighting up, he felt a delicate shoulder tap and his eyes turned to see the same girl he saw earlier, the purple wristband still around her wrist and a bright smile on her face.

“Sorry to bother, but could I borrow your light?” He returned her smile and held the lighter out to her. “Thanks man.” 

“No problem. You enjoying the party so far?” His question set off a smug grin and his brain registered the girl she’d been talking with before.

“I mean, I’ve certainly enjoyed it so far. Enjoying not having any worries or having to take anyone back to my place.” And Calum chuckled.

“Nice. I’m Calum.” 

—

Despite not originally wanting to go, Calum left the club with her number, piling into an Uber with Michael who had decided to call it quits when it hit one am. Luke and Ashton couldn’t be found and both knew that if they needed help, they’d call. 

Calum fell into bed easily, the silence of his dorm comforting as he fell asleep, head buried in the covers. 

The next morning, he was woken by his usual alarm, a groan escaping and his mouth tasting like cotton as he threw an arm over his eyes whilst he twisted onto his back, determined not to open his eyes as he blindly fumbled for his phone, managing to hit the off button before turning back over to shove his face into the pillow.

He was far from a morning person and he felt annoyance at himself build up for having not switched off his alarm. 

Glancing at his phone, he noticed a new name on his screen, alerting him to a new message. Clicking on it he felt himself remembering the rest of the night before.

‘Thanks for not being a dick when I turned you down. If you’re up for it, how about grabbing some lunch. I want to learn more about this photography exhibition you’re lookin’ to make.’ 

He laughed before replying with an affirmative, to which she sent one of the local cafes which wasn’t inhabited by students. Glancing at the time, he saw he still had a couple of hours, so he allowed himself a couple of more hours rest.

When he finally made his way to the small cafe, he spotted her easily and pointed to the menu board. She lifted her own drink up, indicating that she’d already gotten her order in, so he went and made his order, picking up the iced coffee before making his way to where she sat.

“Nice to meet you properly in the daytime.” She teased and he offered a shy grin in return.

“If I hadn’t left my alarm on, I doubt I’d have left my dorm before sunset.” The comment was casual, making her laugh as their food orders were called up.

“Grab some napkins for us, please?” She asked as she went to collect their food before he had a chance to offer to get hers. Rolling his eyes with a playful smile, he went and did that, collecting cutlery before returning to the table. 

The smell of their food set Calum’s stomach off and he realised how hungry he actually was when he took the first bite of food.

“So, last night.” Calum finally started after they’d both had a few bites of their respective meals. 

“Hm?” 

“How come you did turn me down? Out of curiosity.” Her eyes turned wary and he held his hands up in a surrender position. “I’m not looking for anything, I’m just curious because I saw you disappear with Lucy.” Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

“How do you know Lucy?” 

“Same class.” She snorted at that.

“Should’ve figured. It’s not that I wasn’t interested, I just didn’t particularly fancy sleeping with you last night.” 

Ouch.

He snorted at that as she realised what she’d said her he watched in amusement as her eyes widened.

“Wait, I didn’t-fuck-that came out wrong.” Calum remained silent for a moment longer before he gave in and laughed, her wide eyes closing in embarrassment as she hid her face in her hands.

“It’s fine. It’s nice that you’re honest that you didn’t want to sleep with me. Do you know how many times I’ve had girls throw themselves at me for something? It’s why I mostly talked to girls who wore red bands last night.” 

“So you weren’t out to get laid like Irwin was?” 

“Oh boy, how bad was he?” This made her laugh.

“Let’s just say I wasn’t the only one who took advantage of the restrooms last night and if you didn’t know already, dude has definitely got a daddy kink.” Calum chose the wrong moment to take a sip of his coffee, the drink going down the wrong way and he ended up spluttering, spraying iced coffee over her.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He heaved once he stopped coughing, handing her napkins as she laughed at his reaction.

“You didn’t know? Man has such a dom vibe.” She shrugged, a grin on her lips as he picked up some napkins for himself to clean the spray of coffee down his shirt.

“It’s not shit I like to ask him. I didn’t expect to find it out from someone else.” He was fighting the blush and she knew it, an evil smirk on her lips as she leaned forward.

“Oh and what tickles you pink, Mr Hood?” 

“Not that.” He deadpanned, making her laugh as they chucked the ruined napkins on their empty plates. 

“Damn.” She muttered before grinning at him. Calum returned the smile with a playful smirk of his own. 

“Gonna have to try harder to get that information from me.” This made her laugh as they both pushed from the table and made their way out. 

“I’m planning on it. I’m gonna get that information one way or another, Hood.” He laughed, throwing his arm across her shoulders.

“Good luck with that, sweetheart. For now, I’ve still got a day to kill. How do you fancy heading to the new exhibit that’s just opened on campus?” 

“Man after my own heart.” 

—

Over time, she was a frequent visitor to his dorm. 

Meeting the other three seemed to open her to making new friends, Calum’s friends seemingly enjoying winding her up until Luke made a comment about her relationship status.

“Luke, I like you and all-”

“Probably the only person to like him.” Michael interrupted, earning laughter from the group, even Sierra giggling at her boyfriend’s dilemma.

“As I was saying, I like you and all but if you say something like that, I will not heistate to seduce and fuck your girlfriend.” Sierra’s cheeks burst into colour along with Luke’s and the other three weren’t too sure how to react until they saw the smirk on her lips.

“Oh you are so in for it.” Luke groaned when he realised she was teasing him.

“But seriously, I’m happy being single. I’m not good for relationships at the moment.” She explained softly and they realised that they needed to let the subject drop. 

More often than not, she could be found doing her work on Calum and Luke’s table, books scattered as she studied and worked on her assignments. 

“You really detest working on campus?” Sierra teased her once as she sat down next to the girl, her eyes taking in the copious amounts of notes and work that she’d done.

“Not really.” Stretching out, both girls winced at the sound of her back cracking. “I just can't be dealing with the idiots. I know Cal is still asleep and I think your man is either on his way from class or just left it.” This made Sierra laugh.

“The fact you’re around here enough to know when Lu finishes his classes.” She grinned cheekily to Sierra.

“What can I say? I’m a sucker to notice the small details.” This caused the two girls to giggle before she began to pack away her stuff, flexing her hand every so often to reduce the cramp that had built up.

“You gonna see if he’s awake?” 

“Nah, gonna get a cuddle.” She waved to Sierra who disappeared into Luke’s room before gently pushing open Cal’s door after knocking gently.

His room was dark as she closed the door once more, tucking her bag next to his before crawling into the space that he’d made for her. 

It was all too frequent for her to stay around at his, especially on the darker nights, he was reluctant to let her go back, so she always made sure she made it back to her place if she had classes the following day, if not, she more often than not stayed over at Luke and Calum’s.

“Get your work finished?” His voice was tired and heavy. She smiled into the darkness, curling into his back. 

“No. But I’ve only got the citations to do, so I’ll worry about those tomorrow. M’tired.” A yawn escaped her lips, making him chuckle into the darkness.

“Get some sleep princess. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

It was the following morning when she had woken up before their alarms, relieving her bladder and crawling back into the warm bed that she felt something in her mind shift.

She lay there, her eyes studying the way Calum slept, his lips parted as he took in slow deep breaths, his face relaxed from any of the stress of college. And she could feel her heart encompassing him into a list that barely existed. But he sat there, pretty brown eyes and plump lips with a curved smirk as he called her princess.

And that was when it hit her as she lay there, the soft rays of the sunlight breaking through the curtains and hitting his skin, the patches of light giving him an almost golden glow. 

She was crushing on him and there was nothing she wanted to do to stop it.

So instead of worrying or overthinking, she snuggled herself closer to his warm body, his own seemingly adjusting for her intrusion and allowed his slow deep breaths to lull her into an easy sleep, taking advantage of the fact that neither of them had classes that day.

—

The semester was taking its toll on her. Anyone could see that. 

But what was making it more difficult was the news articles that kept appearing, and the way that people seemed to group together in protection. When she found one of her previous flings, her heart sank as she scoffed in her face when she asked about joining the groups they had going for the LGBT students.

“What, and have you and other straights pretending to be gay, turn up and disrupt the peace of our space? No thanks.” 

She’d hidden the hurt from her features at that one but she still felt the sharp stabbing sensation in her chest.

Calum could see the stress around her eyes when he invited her around for a games night with the guys and their girlfriends. 

He wanted to ask her if she was okay, but she gave him a tight smile, her lips pressed together to stop anything from escaping her lips. She knew that the second he asked, she’d cry. 

But it was when the games were put away and the others were relaxed, catching up when Luke had asked the innocent question.

“What about you, my not-roommate-roommate? How’ve you been doing?” Six pairs of eyes turned to her and she could feel her resolve crack as she whispered,

“Not good.” Before promptly bursting into tears and leaving the six of them shocked at her reaction. Sierra was first to react, being the closest to her, she reached out and took her hand.

“We’re all friends here. What’s going on?” And before she could stop herself, everything came spilling from her lips. From the constant fear she felt, to the disgusted looks she got from people within her own community, to the stress of not being able to complete her work. They quickly realised that she’d been holding onto this for a long time and Sierra didn’t let go of her hand whilst she got everything off her chest.

Five minutes after she’d fallen silent and her tears had stopped, she could feel her embarrassment and frustration, eyes unable to lift up to meet any of theirs. 

“Sorry, you guys didn’t need to hear that.” 

“Yes we did.” Ashton interrupted her. “You’re our friend, and we need to know when we need to step in and help you. How can we be supportive when you’re not even telling us the problems? Fuck those people in the community who treat you like shit.” 

She gave him a watery smile in return. 

Luke and Calum offered for her to stay on their couch but she declined.

“I’ve got things I need to finish up tonight so I can spend tomorrow in bed and not move.” She murmured and he didn’t push it.

The following morning she felt like she’d been hit by a bus as she dragged herself into her living room.

It took far too long for her to realise that her coffee was ready and that she needed to get up for it. She was certainly regretting the four am bedtime, but she knew that with her assignment submitted, she didn’t have to worry.

By her second cup of coffee, she was certainly more alert but let herself sink into the couch cushions as she debted switching on the TV or grabbing her laptop. That was when her phone blared, frightening her for a second before she answered it.

“You better have a good fuckin’ reason, Hood.” She grumbled when she spotted the caller ID.

“I know this is short notice, but my model ditched and I need to get these last shots done for the portfolio. I’ll buy you dinner if you can please be my model?” Her cheeks grew warm at the way Calum had presented the offer, her eyes glancing to the mirror before the clock and sighing.

“Give me thirty minutes and I’ll be at yours.” She caved easily before ending the call and throwing her phone onto the sofa, heading into the bathroom to sort her hair out and get ready for the day. She opted for minimal make-up, remembering Calum’s comment about his portfolio of natural beauty, so it was easy to pick out a warm outfit for the November weather her scarf wrapped securely and her jacket pulled tightly around her as she slid into her own car, heading onto campus to pick him up.

When she pulled up to his row, she was met with a relieved looking Calum, backpack hitched over his shoulder with a camera bag strapped across his chest. 

“You know where we’re going for photos then, or is it just one of those natural ones?” She teased him playfully and he rolled his eyes. 

“Head to the wooded area by the camping ground. Whilst we’ve still got sunlight, there’s a good spot which is mostly meadows and gets good sunlight filtering through the trees.” He explained and she grinned.

“I know the place. So we’re hiking a bit?” And he chuckled as he strapped himself in, jamming his kit between his legs and sitting back.

“So what happened to the other model?” She asked once they were off campus. Calum’s head moved back and hit the headrest repeatedly. 

“Apparently she’s close friends with my ex, didn’t know that bit of information. But I got a text from my ex saying how do I like to feel being left hanging. I still don’t know why she sent that, unless she’s referring to deadlines which meant that yeah, I focused on those instead of her.” 

“Ooo, you might have just hit the nail on the head there, buddy.” 

“It’s not like I ignored her completely! Once I was done with each deadline, I took her out and apologised. I didn’t want her to think I was neglecting the relationship, but apparently five days of deadlines was enough neglect for her to cheat on me.” 

“Harsh. So you reckon they cooked up some kind of plan to basically sabotage your grade?” She concluded and he nodded. “Well looks like you’re about to have the best goddamn model who can look like some sort of wood nymph.” She teased and his lips curved into a smile.

“Knew I could count on you.” 

“Hey, what are friends for? And if you’re lucky and I can find the small stream that runs through the woods, I might even dip my toes in the cold water, but it means we’re bringing towels and blankets with us.” She warned him and he could feel the tension disappear from his shoulders.

He had a plan and he could work with it, especially if they found the stream.

“That’s fine if it means that I get my shots, I’ll gladly look after you if you get sick.” 

“I might just take you up on that, Hood. Regardless of whether I get ill from today or just this weather in general.” She smirked at him as they rolled up to the camping grounds, her car driving across the fields before coming to a rest at the edge of the woods.

As they walked through the forest, she could hear the shutter of his camera going off and so she started to dance ahead, making him laugh. She was no natural for modelling, but being her carefree, silly self was something she could do and Calum found himself enjoying himself even more as he snapped every photo.

As they reached the stream, he instructed her on what he wanted and she followed the instructions he gave her and they kept it up as the sun began to set, bathing her in a golden glow. 

She stood there for a solid five minutes, her eyes shut with a smile on her face as she basked in the last of the warmth, a soft hum escaping her lips. The shutter had gone off a few times but then it fell silent. 

Finally, as the sun set, she turned to Calum who had the softest smile on his lips and she felt her heart skip a beat as they made their way back to the car. 

“You’re a lifesaver, honestly.” He murmured, pulling her into his side and kissing her temple, her arms wrapped around his waist, squeezing him in return.

“Just helping out. It was nothing and I had fun.” She could feel her cheeks growing warm and he scoffed.

“Well I’ll still send you some of the shots that don’t make it onto my assignment. Sound like a good deal?” She felt her lips twist up into a wide grin.

“Only if it means that I can come around to yours and we can have a pad thai night.” She countered and he grinned.

“Wouldn’t be our night without it. Want me to see if Luke and Sierra can join?” She thought about it for a second before nodding her head.

“Yeah, it’d be nice to spend a bit of time with them too. And Luke might even let me do his nails again, since you won’t let me.” She scowled playfully as they finally reached her car and he grinned unashamedly. 

“One day, princess and you might actually get me painting my nails. But for now, it’s a no.” 

She groaned as they got back into her car and she dropped him off at the dorm, heading back to her place for a quiet night with a glass of wine and a new understanding that she was crushing on Calum.

Sometimes she hated boys.

—

She knew that Calum didn’t date. But it still drove her mad that she knew her feelings for him weren’t going away.

A few times she’d tried to go out and have quick fucks, but she couldn’t even commit to that. It felt wrong for her that it wasn’t him with her.

The first time she’d gone on a Tinder date, part of her hated that she’d done this to try and drive him from her mind. But it wasn’t working as planned.

Her current date was cute. But it wasn’t enough for the lacking personality.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you back to your dorm? You could come back to mine.” She pushed his hand off her waist, shaking her head.

“Thanks, but no thanks. You’re cute and all, but honestly I don’t feel anything for you.” She admitted and he scoffed at her words.

“You’ve not even kissed me, how could you know that?” And before she could say anything else, he kissed her.

It was only brief, her hands pushing him away from her body, a scowl on her face.

“If you think that’s going to get you a girl, rethink your methods, asshole.” She snapped before walking away, hitting Calum’s name.

“Am I worthy of your time now?” Calum’s teasing voice made her let off a little laugh.

“Mind if I come to yours? Date really was not it.” Calum didn’t hesitate. 

“Come on then princess.” And it was almost like coming home when she got to his, and his arms were open in comfort as she hugged him tightly.

He had a beer ready as well as an ear as she bitched about her date and what he’d done. And if she didn’t already have feelings for him before, his reaction practically secured them in place.

“Who was the fucker? I’ll teach him a lesson on how to treat a lady.” He’d launched for her phone but she’d pushed it out of the way, shifting so that she was straddling his lap.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m with my best friend and I’m safe. It was nothing but an unwanted kiss. It could’ve been so much worse but it wasn’t.” What she hadn’t expected was his arms to wrap around her body, pulling her flush against his chest.

“You’re too important and too fuckin’ precious to get hurt like that. At least let me be your standby if another date goes anything like that?” And she couldn’t argue it. 

“Sure.” 

When she’d finally gotten off his lap and they’d settled for movies, she was certain about her feelings towards him and she knew she needed to take a leap of faith. 

—

Calum could see that she was tense in the Uber back to her apartment. His fingers threaded through hers and he squeezed it gently.

“This isn’t where you say you’re an axe murderer, right?” The joke was stupid and maybe a bit off key, but she laughed and her shoulders relaxed ever so slightly.

“Damn, you catch onto my plans so fast.” She teased in return and Calum smiled, leaning towards her. She understood the silent message and their lips met in the middle, a soft, single kiss before parting, his cheeks growing warm.

He could see her relax as the uber pulled up and she thanked the driver before getting out. He followed suit and her place looked nice. 

“It’s nothing fancy, but I only have to worry about neighbours below me.” She explained and he smiled at that. As she guided him to the lift and kept a firm grip on his hand as it went up to the top floor. As they stepped out, to his left were stairs heading back down, and in front of them was a plain white door.

“It’s not much, but this is home for me. I-I don’t usually bring anyone back. Friends or otherwise.” Her voice was quiet. Had there been any noise, he would’ve missed her words. But he heard the and his fingers brushed over her knuckles, bringing them to his lips.

“If this is too much, we can head back to mine. I know that Luke is fine with you staying around.” As much as he wanted to see her place, to see what she lived like in her own comfort, he knew that this was an obviously big step for her. 

She could see the curiosity in his eyes, but his honesty touched her heart and she knew that she could bring him into her space, to allow him to see this side of her. A side that did not see the negative judgements, no harsh words or derogatory comments. 

Her fingers wrapped around the slim key and she pushed it in the lock, twisting it before pushing the door open. Immediately his eyes took in her place. It was mostly open plan, he could see that much. 

They stepped into the open living room that connected to the dining room and kitchen. There was a closed wooden door at the back of the kitchen, and an open door in the dining room, his eyes turning to her curiously and she smiled. 

“As you can see, living room, dining room and kitchen. Through that door is my bedroom,” she pointed to the closed door, “through that one is the bathroom. This is my home.” And he could see how she’d made it her home.

There was an L shaped couch, pushed into the corner, his eyes taking in how it was positioned to see the view of the sunset that was shining through the floor length window. 

It was open and light. It was absolutely her and he could feel his heartbeat a little bit faster as he realised that she’d let him into a space that was so her, so free. 

“This is also where I felt I might as well admit to you how much I actually like you.” She couldn’t meet his eyes but when his fingers tucked under her chin, coaxing her to look up, she didn’t argue it.

“Are we talking like, or like like? Because if we’re sharing those kinds of secrets, then I really like you too.” HIs voice was barely a whisper and she could feel her heartbeat stutter as his eyes held hers.

She couldn’t stop herself as she tilted her head towards his, a small smile on her lips and she leaned forward.

He got the idea and met her lips with his and she was certain that she felt her heart practically soaring. 

They traded a few kisses before she pulled away and pulled him further into her place, showing him how she’d decorated it properly.

“I love it.” He whispered softly, watching as her face lit up and shoulders sagged in obvious relief. And he did. He could see the artwork that decorated her walls, the large windows giving the assumption of more space. His eyes drifted over the pieces before they came to a stop at-

“My piece. You’re the person who bought it?” His eyes trailed over the familiar photograph. It had been one of his favourites to shoot, the cold winter with a blinding sunset. She beamed at him.

“When you told me that you were selling it, I had to snap it up. So I may have been sneaky about it and gotten Luce to step in as a third party because I knew that the second you found out that it was me buying it, you’d have either given it to me for free or dropped the price.” 

“Instead you picked the one person I was jealous of over that party and you knew that-”

“You’d make it a bigger price out of spite. Yeah, I figured you out pretty quick.” She teased him and he drew her closer, his arm circling around her waist as he pressed his lips to her cheek.

“I promise to do no such thing if ever you want to buy my stuff again. However, I will not be held responsible for any gifts you may receive if you like a specific photo of mine.” He teased and she giggled, pressing her hands against his chest, turning her head to meet his lips with hers.

“I might be able to forgive you if they’re presented as rightful gifts. So birthdays, anniversaries and christmas presents.” He beamed before she pulled him over to the sofa, the dying sun making for a beautiful sight, but as the sun hit her face, his eyes were captured and he couldn’t look away, not even for something as beautiful as the sun setting across the clear sky.

“Anniversaries huh?” And she found herself falling quiet before glancing at him and noting the grin on his face.

“I mean, if that isn’t too presumptuous of me?” Her voice was hesitant but he grinned at her, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Would you rather I did a song and dance to ask you out?” And he laughed at the look of horror that crossed her face.

“God no, I might like you but I think that would genuinely kill me.” They shared a look before laughing.

“Would you at least let me take you on a proper date? But also would you be my girlfriend in the meantime?” And she snorted before kissing him gently.

“I think I can do that.”

As they settled on the couch together, a sitcom playing in the background, she had her legs thrown across his lap, his fingers tracing lines against her jean clad legs.

“So, what’s off limits in the bedroom then?” His words were a tease, and she could see they were harmless by nature, making her scoff and roll her eyes, a crinkled eyed grin appearing on his lips as one hand reached over, pulling her closest hand to his lips and he kissed the back of it as a silent apology.

“Choking I’m okay with, but not to the point where there’d be visible bruises.” She finally spoke after a few minutes of silence and his hand froze on her leg.

“What?” The choked out word made her smirk.

“You heard me, Hood. I love it when my partner takes control. But not all the time. Girl needs an ego boost from time to time.” His eyes studied her face and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he realised that she was being serious.

She then took him by surprise again, shifting herself so that she was straddled across him, her knees resting on the couch as her hands rested on his shoulders, his hand going for her waist. 

“Also, another thing you should know is the threesome myth with bisexual people is bullshit with me. I’m fucking possessive in the bedroom and I don’t want to share you with another guy or girl.” And the breath of air escaped him as she kissed his lips, her hips grinding down on his visible hard on, a whine falling from his lips.

“Good job I’ve only got eyes for you then, princess.” He breathed out and her entire body relaxed at his words, her lips curving up into a smile.

And she knew whatever the world would throw at her, she had a good man by her side. 

-

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[itsjesperfahey]

modern soc au

inej: 

loves to dance !!! esp ballet but she can dance to whatever tbfh, she’s that good 

likes to wear caps, esp backwards. really loves bomber jackets too. 

has a couple, small tattoos dedicated to her saints 

is that one kid who loves to do parkour (both ironically and unironically) for instance is really good at it but sometimes just yells PARKOUR and steps over a rock

usually found eating lunch with her pals on the roof of the school 

is amazing at hide and seek like holy fuck ????? hid for 2 hours once and wasn’t found, came back the next day and was like “y'all losers SUCK" 

loves to study other people’s cultures, as well as history and is great as p.e (never has gotten a bad grade in the flexibility tests) 

likes to read poem books 

has a black cat as a pet named "saint" 

pronounced meme as "mehmeh” the first time she read it 

only has snapchat and instagram. is that kid who ALWAYS posts the sunset every day, esp from weird/high places and the comments are always “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET UP THERE" 

cried the most during fox and the hound 

always braiding nina’s hair. Knows how to do all the super advanced onces as well

"I don’t know, CAN YOU?" 

 the best one at pushing people on the swings 

AMAZING AT JUST DANCE WITH JESPER 

"sorry I ran out of fucks to give try again later maybe?" 

gives the nicest presents. always knows what a person wants for christmas/their birthday 

the one who’s really into photography and is always taking aesthetic™ pics of Nina for her social media accounts 

Prefers tea over coffee

wylan:

bullied for not being able to read (at least up until high school), so is super shy 

loves drawing. the artistic™ one who takes anatomy to be able to draw people better 

MASTER FLUTE MUSICIAN. On the school band. Jams hard af when he plays it 

is in gem math and AP chem with kuwei. 

loves sweet. addicted to blue jolly ranchers. his tongue is always blue 

constantly pushing up his thick rimmed glasses (even if they ain’t on, which causes him to poke his eye)

looooves all the superhero shows on the CW 

V neck sweaters. always

always has his trusty satchel

only has tumblr. has like 10k followers because of his artwork. 

”‘illuminati’ ? is that a band?“ 

cat person even though he’s allergic to cat fur. absolutely adores inej’s cat. settles for owning a horned lizard named "shrek" 

secretly a huge fan of memes 

really gay for tom holland and ed sheeran (calls him "ginger Jesus”) 

gamer with jesper. they always play overwatch together, wylans better tho. a genji and Ana main 

cried the most during big hero six 

wylan, with blank eyes: “I like my coffee how I like my men” // jesper: *spits out his drink* 

matthias: 

sports fan obv. On the schools hockey team bc his fav is hockey. is extremely competitive when he plays it. Is constantly checking but never gets penalties (aka slamming the other players against the walls)

played basketball against jesper and surprisingly lost. jesper won’t let it go 

dog person. owns a pet pomsky (Pomeranian-husky) with nina who’s name is “bub" 

“long hair don’t care”draws inspiration from Harry styles 

really philosophical. takes all the philosophy/ethics classes available 

kind of sounds like Thor (thick and deep accent) 

a good™

"you’re all horrible trash”

“do we really have to be doing this now? I have to finish my homework" 

loves baking. bakes everything for the love of his life 

grey sweatshirts and adidas shoes 

wears contacts Because he hates how glasses look on him. only wears them when he’s home 

oblivious to all the women in love with him

"CAN YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? BECAUSE I SURE AS FRICK CAN” (doesn’t curse) 

real 👍🏻🤘🏻👌🏻life🤰🏻👼🏻🌱student📚✂️✏️athelete🏃🏼🥇🏆🥅🏒

has Facebook and Twitter only

cried the most during bambi and dumbo 

little spoon™ 

has a couple tattoos with very deep meanings

jesper: 

dancer with inej. dances like those ppl who look like robots ??? the ones who look like they freeze parts of their body while the others move. AMAZING at it 

loves jazz but also dubstep/edm and rap/r&b. Beyoncé is MOM/QUEEN. 

sometimes djs parties 

again, huge gamer with wylan. he’s a lucio and junkrat main for overwatch. loves like every video game ever 

loves all the marvel movies, in love with black panther (was team cap) 

dresses like a hipster but also sometimes a fuck boy (tank tops and shorts with a backwards cap style) 

favorite subject is business and debate. great negotiator 

cried the most during the lion king 

A+ cosplayer (especially his lucio cosplay) 

big supporter of human rights (LGBTA+, feminist, black lives matter, poc representation). Will LITERALLY get into fights over anyone who thinks otherwise. Fist fights, always supported by Kaz and Matthias. Got suspended for 3 days for breaking a kids nose who thought LGBTA+ people should **** ** ****) 

that one kid who has 50 fidget spinners and can do cool tricks with them. also manages to sell all of them 

skateboard pro™ 

always sends the blinking face meme, even if it’s out of context 

all the social medias. 

one tattoo only of a gun with a 'bang’ flag coming out of it 

nina: 

 PROFESSIONAL👏🏻 MAKE 👏🏻 UP 👏🏻 ARTISTS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 HAS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS ON HER INSTAGRAM AND THE SAME FOR HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL 

Speaking of YouTube, she always does cute videos. Baking/cooking tutorial videos featuring Matthias, 'i do my boyfriends makeup’, 'my boyfriend does my makeup’, 'my boyfriend buys my makeup’, does make up tutorials obviously, challenges with her best friend inej like the 'whisper challenge’. everyone loves her and says her and Matthias are their otp 

loves fashion design, takes that class. 

loves horror movies/creepy things but also Disney 

great at roller skating 

always wins the best dressed awards ad school 

also huge fan of ed sheeran. loves little mix more than 5h. 

cried the most during 'up' 

Can speak like 4 languages (English, french, Latin and spanish) 

loves traveling and learning about new cultures too 

dancer!inej’s biggest fan and hockey!matthias’ biggest fan 

always breaks snapchat streaks 

likes to (friendly) debate with jesper, especially over stupid things 

amazing with kids. babysits all the time. calls “bub” (the dog) her and matthias’ baby 

big spoon™ 

notes are so fucking pretty. buys the most expensive stationary and notebooks 

also huge supporter of human rights. runs the feminist club. (Jesper is the Vice President) stresses loving yourself and your body, and makes sure to design comfortable yet GORGEOUS clothes for “"plus sized people”“ 

wins 'dynamic duo’ award with inej 

always eating lollipops 

has a few very small tatos of cute things like roses and crowns. has one quote written in cursive on her rib

kaz: 

prefers black coffee as well 

loves crime shows, whether they’re real or fake. for instance loves both 'Dateline’ and 'Criminal Minds’ also loves 'House’

 favorite class is psychology, learning how a person thinks and acts and feels

has the dregs tattoo on his arm * edge lord 9000™ * such a drama queen and diva like damn 

*deep sigh* "I think I’d rather go take a nap” *gets up and leaves* 

also loves computer science. knows how to hack shit like a pro 

always rough housing with jesper. broke a table once 

does walk with a cane. likes to slap matthias’ ass with it 

“bow down you fucking peasants" 

only types in lower case with 0 emojis and no punctuation marks. CONSTANTLY leaves people on read 

only has Twitter and snapchat. His posts on snapchat never have captions, yet somehow has a 200 day streak with Jesper and a 250 day streak with inej 

loves watching horror movies with nina 

 *in a fight* "oh I’ll sHOW YOU SOME DIRTY HANDS” *swings* 

gets second place for best dressed award 

always sending memes with no context in their group chat, as well as vines 

indie and alternative rock fan 

“does it look like I care because I’m sorry if it does I didn’t mean to give you that impression" 

head over heels for inej Ghafa like wow 

likes to read a lot of mystery books and non fiction books 

cried the most during finding dory 

can solve a Rubik’s cube under a minute and won’t let you forget it 

The one asshole who picks either Kirby or metaknight in super smash brothers brawl

 hates seeing the notification bubble so he always has all chats muted and notifications turned off for apps 

kiss ass to all the teachers to get them A’s

Kuwei: 

SCIENCE NERD. ALWAYS singing the bill nye theme song. Loves ASAPScience on YouTube. Master at chemistry and biology 

"hey did u know bill nye is, like, my dad" 

nina treats him like a baby 

loves everything to do with Star Wars while wylan loves star trek more. Fighting ensues. 

has a pet Siamese cat name sparky 

Used to have a huge crush on jesper and everyone knew it except jesper. 

knows the intro to the bee movie ("according to all known laws of aviation-”)

 jesper in the group chat: “gonna go shower be right back” // kuwei: “without me ;)?” // wylan: “KUWEI SWEAR TO FUCK” // kaz: “watch your fucking language wylan" 

obsessed with Pokémon go even if it died out (chose team instinct) 

"fight me on this" 

has Twitter, snapchat and instagram 

Always drinking ginger ale 

master at bop it 

the one kid who always forgets to pay you back for stuff 

is also into the CW super hero shows, so him and wylan are constantly talking about it 

loves cartoons and anime 

speaks fluent fuckboy 

God awful at comebacks 

"let’s take a selfie guys !!!” // “kuwei no-” // *snapshot sound* 

talks !!! Like !! This !!!! for,,, some reason ???????? 

huge nerd for other things too like lord of the rings and Harry Potter and game of thrones 

cried the most during inside out

 "do you think planes are scared of heights?“ // "for fucks same kuwei it’s 4am”

[empresspilaf-blog]

these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

I’m answering all of these because as previously stated I have a real thing for filling stuff out. I like being asked questions it’s fun, keeps my brain workin’ :D

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk. And I never drink it at the end. I can’t, I’ll get sick. I can’t drink milk, and if I have cereal too often I’ll get sick. But it’s just not right if there isn’t lots of milk D’: 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? NOOOOOOOOOOO DDDDD: 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Anything? I think there’s a Mythology book around here somewhere with a peanut M&M’s wrapper in it.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t put anything in tea, and I’ll drink black coffee, but sometimes I put creamer in it. If it’s available. I like peppermint mocha best yum :D

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Nope! I think it’s pretty nice, actually. It’s one ofthe few things I actually like about myself lol. I hate my body and my acne but I think my nose, eyes, and smile are decent. I had braces so my teeth are straight. I didn’t wear my top retainer though so there’s a small gap, but it doesn’t bother me. Except when I eat apples. The skin always gets stuck >:( My teeth could be whiter, and they’re small and square looking, but I think my smile is alright.

6: do you keep plants? No, but I want to. I just can’t keep up with that stuff. And my room faces a very shaded yard so sunlight really doesn’t come in. 

7: do you name your plants? I totally would! 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I prefer to draw with pencil/colored pencil, charcoal, and I’m trying to use inking pens. I suck at painting lol. I did just get a tablet, though, and Autodesk Sketchbook. So that’s been fun to play with.  9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Oh yeah. I would love to be able to sing really well. So far I can do a decent Marilyn Monroe impression lol. My favorite thing to sing along to is No Doubt. I love Gwen’s voice. It’s a good exercise too, all the vibrato and crazy patterns she does. I also like to sing Heart, too. My boyfriend says I sound pretty good, but I still won’t let anyone else hear me lol. Even though he’s a musician and probably knows what he’s talking about, I still don’t think it’s that great haha 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Yes.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Hmm I can’t think of any that don’t require a long explanation lol. Well okay, how about this. I didn’t ever really drink until I turned 21 (almost exactly a year ago, January 17!), and then when we’d hag out with friends and I’d get drunk, I’d start going up to people whispering “Hey. I’ve never been drunk before” in their ear lol. Like ever time it happened (which wasn’t all that much, I’m still not a huge drinker). It got to the point that now if I drink, everyone goes “Watch out for Robyn, she’s getting drunk for the first time!” 

12: what’s your favorite planet? Uranus ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  Hehe uhm Jupiter, because it’s full of gas, like me? I’ve honestly never really thought about this. I think Neptune is the prettiest, and I like the idea that humans may be able to live on Mars.  ~Sailor Pluto is my favorite Sailor Scout. :D

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? A mess hahahahahahahahahaaha. She has three cats and I have a dog. We both have depression, anxiety, BPD, OCD, and ADHD. (fun fact, our diagnoses are identical. We both have PTSD as well). But we love doing crafts and not cleaning our rooms, so I imagine there would be glitter, scrap fabric, pencil shavings, and wadded up paper everywhere. Among the pet hair, of course! 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of the solar system’s mass is the sun! (shit!) 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? S P A G H E T T I

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Uhm well I’ve literally had every color lol. But right now, I’m having a lot of trouble getting red to stick to the lengths, it keeps fading to brown immediately. My hair is very damaged so it’s not too cooperative at this point :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Uhm ok so I have IBS pretty bad, right? My friends and I went to Denny’s one night. We came back to one friend’s house, and I needed to fart (Sorry, this is gonna be gross lol). So as my friend Nick was coming up the stairs, I stuck my butt out and farted on his chest area. Only I didn’t fart. I pooped on him. HAHA and now everyone laughs at me because I shit on the bass player! The best part was I ran to the bathroom and I had my boyfriend get my spare undies from the car (gotta have those when you got that Irritable Bowel), and when I went back downstairs, Nick had no idea what had happened lololololol 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Nopeee 20: what’s your favorite eye color? I mean as far as what I find attractive, brown. Big brown eyes. On guys and girls. But especially guys. Girls with light eyes can still be cute but I think dark eyed men are just the best <3 That’s not to say there aren’t also some attractive men with light eyes (points to Bradley Cooper, Chris Hemsworth, Conrad Veidt, J o n a t h a n  J o e s t a r). 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My smiley backpack! I just started really using it about a year ago, but I got it when I was like 3. so it’s around 19 years old. I actually just ripped one of the straps out partially last night, and I gotta sew it (thanks for the reminder!). It’s about a foot in diameter, and it’s just a giant yellow circle with a simple black smile and eyes and two straps. 22: are you a morning person? If by morning person you mean I stay up all night and am awake still when morning comes. Though I was up from Thursday evening to last night with no sleep, so I slept all last night and have been up since 6:30 this morning. 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Well since I’m pathetic and I don’t have a job and the Kent State University won’t let me have Financial Aid (due to dropping my classes last semester because of HEALTH ISSUES, wtf), every day is like that. I hate it, actually. I do nothing but sleep. I stare at my computer for hours, scroll tumblr and Facebook, get out drawing supplies and then stare at the paper and cry, lay in bed and cry, cry and cry ;u; 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? My boyfriend, Mr. Alexander Tortorella. He’s been one of my best friends since 2010, and my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Also my two closest friends, Taylor, who I’ve been best buds with for over ten years (we even got tattoos together) and my friend Ryanne who I mentioned before (the one with all the problems like me lol). 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? No where, I’ve never broken into anyplace. Other than my car once because I locked the keys in it lol. 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I actually have these flat slip on clogs that have like a brown sweater fabric that I got in 2006. I wear them pretty much all fall/winter if I’m just running to the store or to someone’s house. If there’s no snow, of course lol. I also have Converse I got in 2007 that have the British flag on them, and The Who’s logo on the tongue. there’s smiley faces drawn on the rubber at the toe, and along the side banding one one of them are lyrics to “What a Catch Donnie” by Fall Out Boy.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? I love regular bubblegum’s taste but it doesn’t last long enough to bother. 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Uhh…? My friends aren’t really “cute” people hahahahaha. I mean Taylor has called me “Bobert” for years and that’s funny lol 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yeah this one time when I was little I floated too far on a raft in Lake Erie and thought I was gonna end up in dying lol. I mean compared to other things that have happened in my life that really isn’t anything too bad, but the fear I felt at the time was so immense. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love socks! Cool socks. I’ve got Marvel hero socks, whale socks, Star Wars socks, Sailor Moon socks, Winnie the Pooh sicks, sailboat socks, and funky pattern socks. I hate sleeping in socks though. I also have a collection of black dress socks from marching band haha 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I got naked and chased a friend down the street when I was 17. That was my one experience being drunk before I was 21 lol 33: what’s your fave pastry? Friggin Oreo Poptarts. They count. 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Little Pooh! And Big Pooh! I have a like 2 and a half foot sitting Pooh Bear and a small one. I dragged them both everywhere when I was little. I still slept with the small one until I was like 16. But it’s so worn and falling apart, I needed to switch to a larger version to cuddle lol. Now I just kinda cuddle whatever teddy bear or stuffed animal I grab haha 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes, but I don’t really have them. I do have some super cool Norman Rockwell notecards. And I have rainbow pens I use to color coordinate notes. I’’l freaking rip a page out and re-write everything if i mess up. 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Well I’m currently listening to “Fly” by Sugar Ray and I’d say that’s doin’ it pretty well :D 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Yeah so have you seen a tornado’s aftermath? 38: tell us about your pet peeves! People who chew their nails (Glares at Alex, even though he’s not here). Girls who talk all hood, and act dumb for attention, then get offended when you don’t take them seriously.  39: what color do you wear the most? Black lol 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I wear a ring everyday, I only take it off to shower. Alex has one too. They’re silver bands, and they have the coordinates to our high school engraved in them (that’s where we met). One has the latitude, one the longitude. Inside mine it says “Alex”, his says “Robyn”. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? White Oleander by Janet Fitch. 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I just like Starbucks. I’m a white girl. Sue me. 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Alex 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? əʇndɯoɔ ʇou səop 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Oh, no. I overthink everything 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I can’t just do this on the spot!!! The other day a friend asked if I was going into the medical field, because I was really nursing my beer lol 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? BEANS. All beans. Fuck beans. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Yep, spiders. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? The last CD I bought I think was Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance. I’ve had every word of it memorized for like 10 years, but I never actually owned a hard copy. The last record I bought was probably Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin. *note; as I was moving on to the next question, the song “Houses of the Holy” came on my iTunes o.O (though let it be noted as well that the song “Houses of the Holy” is actually on the album “Physical Graffiti). 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Souls. And old empty bottles. Like empty pop bottles. Not so much anymore, but I have a ton of them in my room that I use as decoration 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Pretty much anything from Def Leppard’s Pyromania or Van Halen’s 1984 reminds me of my dad because those are his favorite albums (and 2 of mine) 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? I mean the salt guy is funny? I’ve really been slacking in the dank meme area lately. I am truly ashamed. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I have only seen Beetlejuice of those (I knowwww), and I like it, but the heavy late 80′s asthetic creeps me out a bit. Not the stuff that’s supposed to be creepy, but all the black and white checkerboard and stripes, bright colors, and things like that lol 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog, because I wouldn’t let her have her bone back (it was bed time!) 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? We don’t need to discuss that. Once again; I have BPD. That should tell you plenty. 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Not being an asshole. That’s about it. 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I mean I do sometimes, other times I just listen and enjoy it. My friend Nick did a project for school (he’s a music production major) where he mixed the original tracks differently, and he made the bass and snare more prevalent and now the original sounds empty to me hahaha 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Lol what??? I mean I drink wine more than anything, but I probably drink more vodka than anyone else too lol. Most of them just smoke that reefer to be honest. Alex and I don’t, he doesn’t drink either. And I rarely drink vodka. But no one else ever does lol 59: what’s your favorite myth? The brown sound lol. The idea that there is a decibel so low that if you hear it, you’ll poop yourself! They proved it to be false on Mythbusters, though. 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I used to write poetry a lot. I actually was published in a national anthology of selected student poets in 9th grade. I have trouble being creative anymore, though. I like Thoreau and Walt Whitman. We studied them in 11th grade. 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I’ve never really given a gag gift. Though one time I wrapped a robe I got my sister in a series of boxes and duct tape just to mess with her :D I wouldn’t say I’ve ever received anything “stupid”. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope. I like apple juice, though. Orange juice makes me sick. Acid reflux issues. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? OOOOHHHHHH Gotta be in alphabetical order. Though currently my books are strewn across my floor, mixed in with clothes, my Sailor Moon VHS collection, shoes, makeup, blah blah blah 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Really light grey. Ohio is bland and gross. 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My friend Taylor. she doesn’t live very close so I don’t ever see her anymore :’( 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? I have a few I made over the summer. My favorite is just a bunch of daisies. I love daisies <3 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Lol indifferent. That’s what today looks like, and pretty much everyday around here. 68: what’s winter like where you live? Well when I was younger, it was snowy and bright and fun. Now it barely snows, and it’s always gloomy and muddy and gross. My basement flooded a couple days ago because it rained so hard.  69: what are your favorite board games? MONOPOLYYYY. I got a Dogopoly for Christmas hehe. I like Sorry and Clue a lot too. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Green tea, and the youthberry/ wild orangeblosson tea from Teavanna 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah pretty much. And I still always tell myself I won’t forget shit, and then I do. 73: what are some of your worst habits? Smoking cigarettes, sleeping too much, drinking pop instead of water, picking my nose lol. I’m twitchy and fidgety but that’s just the OCD and ADHD. 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Uhhhhhhhhh “Big fat faggot”. (that’s actually how he would describe himself, he likes going up to people and saying “I’m REALLY gay”) 75: tell us about your pets! I have my darling baby Mae Mae, she’s around 9(??) she’a a black mutt that looks like a bear/wolf lol. I got her from the Humane Society. Then there’s Bellatrix, who my mom got from the HS. She’s a brindle boxer, almost 4 years old. We have a 7 month old kitten named Hosta. My mom found her in the hosta bushes outside this summer, so we named her after the flowers lol. We also have a guinea pig, of my sister’s, named Alfie. He’s about 2? 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? I could use a shower. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink <3

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I thought they were cute in Despicable Me, but it’s gotten way out of hand. 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Alex once bought me ice cream and flowers and made a sign that said “sorry for being a douche”. I don’t even remember what he did wrong, it was cute :3 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Well a few months before we moved in, I painted them purple. Then I decided that was boring like a couple weeks before we moved, and I got tihs cool 70s-looking (or even 30s really) floral wallpaper with like gold and pewter flowers and I put it on two walls. I painted the one wall orange, the tiny bit around the closet sage green, and the area around the door with chalkboard paint. Then I got mad one day about a year later and went and bought light green and covered the orange. I still don’t really know why lol. 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Dude what? I don’t stare at anyone’s eyes?  82: are/were you good in school? HAHAHAHHA. I got suspended for mooning someone. That’s all you need to know. 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Queen’s News of the World has a sweet cover. Def Leppard’s High N’ Dry, Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Aphex Twin’s “Windowlicker” single, of course. Green Day’s Dookie, Dio’s Holy Diver. There are aa TON but you know. I’m getting sick of typing lol 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I’m planning on getting a lot lol. Currently a Ginger Rogers close-up on my forearm. I have a Pooh sketch on my side, “You’re braver than you believe” (Pooh quote) written in my friend’s handwriting on my right shoulder, and “There’s still time to change the road you’re on” on my right foot (”Stairways to Heaven” lyrics). 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Yes, Marvel, Infinity Gauntlet is my favorite. (not including manga because I’m ready to be done with this lol) 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah, they’re cool! Currently I’ve been listening to To Pimp a Butterfly a lot, actually. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Star Wars (original 3), Back to the Future, A Clockwork Orange, Metropolis 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? A R T  D E C O, art nouveau 89: are you close to your parents? My mother. I don’t talk to my father much. He was abusive to me, he’s an alcoholic. 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I don’t really have any? I don’t live cities very much. 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’m going to North Carolina for a wedding, that’s about all I can think of. Probably going camping. 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE ME BABY 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Well I’m mostly just at home doing nothing so it’s just kinda down and pushed back out of my face. But when I go somewhere it’s usually something pinup-y or 2 buns on top of my head. 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Taylor’s was December 29. But mine is Tuesday! :DDD 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Alex has a show tonight, so there’s that. 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? ”Remind me tomorrow” 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Don’t know, I’ve never taken one of those tests. I’ve started to, but I can’t really answer the questions right. My answer can go either way, my mood is always changing. I don’t believe it’s easy to pin down a BPD patient’s type. I’m a Capricorn, and I’m not really into Harry Potter. My IQ is pretty high though, lol. I’m proud of that. It’s the one thing I have haha. 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I don’t remember, but I know I whined the entire time because I’m out of shape lol 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Uhhhh. My brain isn’t functioning at a very deep emotional level right now lol I can’t think of any? I guess “Blown Away” by Carrie Underwood, it reminds me of my father.  100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither. I don’t want to change the way things are now. Sure, I’d love to tell myself “Don’t gain twice your body weight” and “don’t drop our of high school or college” but like, Butterfly Effect. I know somehow that would make it so I never reconnect with Alex, or I end up dating someone I wasn’t happy with, or what if somehow I got in a car wreck and died as a result of something stupid? And I don’t want to see the future. What happens happens and I don’t want to live in anticipation.

Feel free to talk to me about any of this stuff! I welcome friends, I’m lonely haha

[kxlebcross]

for the quarantine asks, multiples of 2, please :)

are you fucking serious???? i’m gonna get back at you for this, i’m smol and ready to fight!!!! (under the cut >:3)

2. Grilled cheese or PB&J? grilled cheese, always... idk, maybe i’m too european for that but pb&j just seems gross to me (noah fence to anyone who likes it tho)

4.  Your go-to bar order, if you drink? usually it’s a mojito, a gintonic or a vodka-tonic, depending on the place and its’ prices... and if i’m not that low on money sometimes an absinthe slips in, but that’s really rare, i’m not that young anymore and my body just can’t keep up with the alcohol anymore dfsdfd

6. Top three cuisines? uhhhh..... italian, hungarian and..... i don’t actually have a third hdgfhsd can i just generally say that ‘asian’? tbh i tried like 3-4 dishes from various asian countries which imo is way less than enough to choose a fave, and there’s also a lot more i’d like to try sometime... but my city doesn’t have many places to go to, and the only “chinese” restaurant we have is a cheap ripoff which never served a proper chinese dish in their life.... ordered from there twice, beforehand researching each dish i ordered and let me tell u.... they weren’t even close to what they were supposed to be......

8.  What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had?  i once worked at a strip club..... no, not as a stripper, i was a waiter/bartender, and honestly i wouldn’t even mind talking about it if the place wasn’t shady as fuck.... one of the national tv stations even made a full time documentary series about all the illegal shit that’s going down there..... but i never really did any unconventional jobs so there’s nothing fancy, but if i were to tell stories about what i’ve encountered during my ordinary jobs...... oh boi.......

10.  Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a signed photo with Flowsik from his Warsaw concert.... and i think that’s the only thing like that, if i ever had anything else it’s long forgotten and probably is laying in some box in my mom’s basement lmao

12. What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i only have bagels in the kfc breakfast offer so it’s usually some chicken, salad, cheese, egg and mayonnaise? i think? or was that the ciabatta? fuck me if i remember...... but if i could choose anything i’d probably go with smth similar, some chicken strips, veggies, bacon, cheese and moyinnaise? yeah, probably, im a man of simple tastes dsfdfg

14.  Favorite mug you own i wish i wasn’t so lazy and just take a picture of it, but i’m a lazy fuck so here i go explaining XD so its actually a middle-sized coffee mug, it’s pastel greyish-pink with two cats on it, and one of the cats is chilling on a guitar.... it was a bday present from my mums friend and it came in a cat head-like box which i kept.... it’s now on the top shelf in it’s all grotesque cat box glory..... like the ceiling cat meme

16.  Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!)  uhhhh tbh my mood is usually a blank space, apathy be fun like that... so ill just list some that i’m generally vibin’ with

Take a knife in the back, wanna feel my pain Make a slice to the wrist to reveal those veins I could see your face, man I feel insane

Such a mess when I'm in your presence I've had enough, think you've been making me sick Gotta get you out of my system, yeah

MGK - In These Walls

I just can’t get enough of you, but that’s alright Feeling like going on a joyride with you through the night I keep accelerating on the road with you at my side

Lexie Liu - Like a Mercedes

And it's nights like this when I'm on my own And I realize that you'll never feel like home No, I can't feel you now (Feel me now) And I try my best to stick around But when you're broken like me, you just gotta get out 

Bring Me The Horizon -  ±ªþ³§ feat. YONAKA (but i’m generally vibin’ with the whole album that this song is from)

18.  What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless?  okay so i’m probably not gonna rewatch it ever again, but... when i was a kid there was this german series on tv and it was called medicopter 117.... so in exam season i realized that as a kid i never got to finish it so i decided to rewatch... listen, it’s a 1997 series... but damn it was actually better than some of the crap ppl call tv show now....... not gonna rewatch tho, some moments and plotlines were frustrating as fuck

20.  Do you match your socks? yes! but only because i either have them all black (which will match anyway) or funky colorful fruit patterned ones that look a bit much even on their own so i wouldn’t really wanna mix’n’match those in fear they would just look tacky as fuck

22.  What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) well for a while i was the horse kid, then the cat kid, then the car kid and then i ended up being the resident class emo with a weird obsession over Lord of the Rings.... it was a wild ride, though the emo phase sort of stuck with me even now

24.  What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? the what? i stg i never encountered it in my life so i’m not really having an opinion on it, sorry to disappoint

26.  You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? definitely orange... apple has a weird aftertaste, tomato is gross, banana feels like having jizz in ur mouth.... yeah, we’re sticking with orange (also please don’t ask me to elaborate on the jizz part)

28.  What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? i’m actually trying to get better with some overwatch heroes i never learned before... since the lockdown started i got a lot better with snipers and i1m actually pretty proud of it

30.  Where could someone find you in a museum? most likely in the souvenir shop trying to find the cheapest thing..... or chilling on some bench/chair after watching all the art pieces, i’m usually way too lazy to stand around and wanna get out pretty fast, but i think it has more to do with the fact that i don’t really like to hang out around people and museums tend to always have a few of those

32.  Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? stars and clouds.... but man i actually really miss stars........ that’s the only thing that’s shitty in living at the city that i can’t see the stars

34.  Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i think art.... i mean i have three movie posters, an overwatch one, a religious calendar from my mum, and then a pride flag and some tacky painting the landlady insisted on keeping on the wall.....

36.  Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... okay i’m gonna admit, i’m not really into superheroes so i’m not that well-informed about their sidekicks either.... can i just hang out with loki instead or smth?

38.  Favorite mid-2000s song oh no.... assuming it was around 2005.... i was like 7 at that time? what the fuck did  i listen to back then? uhhhhhhh i’m pretty sure that was a basshunter time back then? so i’m gonna go with Basshunter’s Now You’re Gone as i remember having it on my mp3 player dfjhjkdf

40.  Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? usually at my pc, even when i have guests over because i don’t trust anyone with the playlists...... and when i’m over at someone i usually choose a fotel or smth and lay down in it as if i’ve never used a fotel before or couldn’t sit like a normal human being.... and if there’s no fotel then i’m sitting on the armrest of the sofa because apparently i can’t sit like a normal human being sdshfghsdf

42.  A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving  it’s this one.... one day just popped up in my youtube recommended and i was like what the fuck??????? but i’m not gonna say what it is, see for yourself ;)

44.  Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? i..... try not to post at all??? but if i do it’s either no caption or “i randomly decided to post some pictures at 3am without thinking about a concept or caption so i’m just gonna wing it” kind of bullshit, no inbetween, i just can’t write meaningful shit under my pictures 

46.  What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? fries..... i’m a slut for fries, best food ever......... give me fries......... i think i actually might buy some later now that we’re talking about it

48.  Do you like Jello? once again i’m way too european to have an opinion, sorry.....

50.  How are you at climbing trees? when i was a kid i was doing pretty well..... now, around 15 yrs and a few fucked up joints later i’m not sure how would i do....... if this stewpid lockdown is over i might actually convince my friend to find some trees to climb and then we’ll see....... (and then i hopefully won’t accidentally k*ll myself because he will be there to catch me if i fall lmaoooo)