#sorry if text is hard to read on some cards it will happen again

[daisy-does-art-and-stuff]

hfjone valentines day cards :D

use these cards for all your valentines day needs

[viennakarma]

New Year, New Us

Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: After you and Max broke up, you've never been on the same place at the same time again. That is, until the New Year's Eve party.

Word count: 4.3k

Tags: Smut, female reader, +18, sex (p in v), unprotected sex, ex!reader, a little possessive reader, spanking, cursing (but in a cool way), a bit of dirty talking, pet names, not beta read

Note: not me looking for a GIF that he's not wearing the team kit (there is none). This has been on my docs for a little while. English is not my first language (so please bear any mistake). If you’re my best friend, sophia, look away :)

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“Are you sure he won’t be there?”, you text Alex, your best friend.

While waiting for her answer, you look at yourself in the mirror, checking your makeup, basic due to lack of time, but beautiful nonetheless and the red lipstick gives the whole look a boost. On your body, you wear a set of a mini skirt, and a kind of strapless corset that holds your breasts firmly, giving your look an extra spice. When you went shopping with Alex the day before, she had confirmed that it suited the casual New Year's Eve party the group of friends throws every year.

“Charles confirmed that Max is not in town.” is the response you get from Alex as you wait for the Uber.

It would be really embarrassing if Max was there, because he's the ex you don't want to see under any circumstances. Your separation was difficult, and it almost caused a split in the entire group of friends. Luckily, Max went away for the Formula 1 season, and it wasn't necessary for his friends to choose a side, as he was the one who physically distanced himself from everyone.

Despite everything, he still meets up with friends from the group the few times he's in Monaco in between races, and these outings are the ones you refrain from going to so as not to cross paths with him.

Even though your relationship has collapsed like a house of cards, you and him do your best not to take anything out on your group of friends, you don't talk bad about each other nor impose any “either him or me” choices.

As soon as you arrive at the party, you realize that the “New Year's Eve party with friends” has probably taken on greater proportions. That's what happens when the majority of the group is made up of famous extroverts who make friends so easily. Charles had guaranteed that there would be 30 people at most, but when you enter his apartment, it seems to be at least triple that number.

You look for Alex and your closest group and find them near the small bar, getting drinks. Alex waves as soon as she sees you walking towards them.

She hands you a martini as soon as you catch up to her. Alex hugs you, complimenting your makeup, and you turn to Charles, hugging him, as well as all your other friends. You all toasted together, laughing.

Alex pulls you onto the dance floor, and you both laugh as a Rihanna song comes on. Both of you dance for several minutes until you feel a bit of sweat form on your forehead.

“Shit,” Alex murmurs, immediately stopping dancing. She looks over your shoulder at something behind you.

As soon as you look back, you see Max entering the party carrying a big box of some alcoholic beverage. It's impossible to go unnoticed when he's one of the most famous there. You watch as he smiles when he sees Charles in the crowd, as soon as the two meet, they exchange a friendly hug.

“Sorry, babe. Charles had indeed confirmed that he would not arrive from his trip in time for the party,” Alex justifies herself, but you keep looking in Max's direction. He's talking to Charles when, suddenly, he turns and looks in his direction. His blue eyes bore into yours and you swallow hard. You calculate an escape route for a few seconds, but he looks away and goes back to chatting calmly with Charles.

Alex pulls you away, but you keep looking in Max's direction until she shoves you into another room, which you recognize as the kitchen.

“We can leave if you want, we can find a nightclub or something,” Alex says, capturing your attention again.

“Alex, I'm not going to keep you away from your boyfriend on New Year's Eve just because I can't stand my ex,” You shake your head no. “Besides, if he's so comfortable, I'm not the one who's going to act like I’m not over him.”

“Oh, wow! Girl power, damn it!” Alex yells, opening a cooler on the counter. She pulls out two beers and hands one to you. With a bite of the cap, you quickly open it and after toasting your bottles, you take a giant sip that refreshes you from the heat and makes you more determined.

“That's more like it, now let's get back to the dance floor!” You confirm, with a nod after downing the entire bottle at once. Alex does the same and grabs two more bottles for you and her.

Together, you both return to the dance floor, you and Alex dancing and jumping, screaming the songs at the top of your lungs, as if there was no one else around. When Beyoncé's 6 Inch starts, you two start to dance sensually and sing along. With the song halfway through, you open your eyes feeling other people watching you and notice that they have opened a small circle around the two of you.

The attention only seems to make both Alex and you even more excited. Unintentionally, your eyes meet Max's, and you notice that he, Charles, and practically the rest of the party have their eyes on both of you. You grab Alex's shoulders and pull her close until one of your legs is between hers and one of hers is between yours, her hand goes to your waist, and she smiles as she guides her hips into yours and you both roll your hips.

“I know what you're doing…” Alex whispers in your ear. “He's going to regret ever breaking up with you!” She adds in a conspiratorial tone that makes you laugh

You mumble the lyrics to her and Alex pulls your hand, making you spin so that you stop with your back on her chest, placing you facing Max. You don't find any trace of shame in yourself, maybe whether it's the alcohol and the music, or maybe it's all these people staring at you and Alex with so much lust.

You look into Max's eyes as you dance with Alex's hand running down the side of your hip. His eyes are focused on you as he holds a cup of some drink. At some point, his hand exerts so much force on the cup that the plastic bends, spilling a bunch of drink onto his shirt.

You can't help but laugh when he looks down and mutters a swear word. He turns around and leaves. You continue dancing with Alex for a few more minutes until your feet feel sore and you’re very thirsty. When you sit at your friends' table, Charles serves you fresh cold juice. Max appears soon after, now with his shirt changed.

He sits at the same table as you, of course, because he is part of the group. Max sits on the opposite side of it, facing you. You look away from him when you realize your friends are talking and you decide to join the conversation.

“What happened?” Alex asks when she sees you readjusting the threads on your heels for the third time.

“My heels are killing me” you explain.

“I can lend you a pair of shoes. Do you want it?” Alex offers and you nod, “My stuff is in the guest suite on the first floor, where Charles always keeps our bags. You can take it if you want.”

“Thanks! You’re a lifesaver!”

You get up, crossing the crowd of people drinking, dancing and talking, to get to the stairs. As soon as you go up and reach the first floor, you take off your shoes and walk barefoot to the guest room, feeling relief in the bottom of your feet.

You find Alex’s bag on a dresser, and you rummage through it until you find a pair of white Jordans. You go into the bathroom and wash your face carefully so as not to mess up your makeup, and wet your neck to relieve the heat. After drying off, you go back to the dresser and you’re about to put on the shoes when the door opens and someone turns on the light.

You look up to see Max coming towards you with decisive steps, looking like a man on a mission.

“What are you doing here?” you murmur when he stops in front of you and his height forces you to lift your head to look into his eyes.

“You know what you do to me,” He whispers, his hand touches your face firmly, his hand holding your jaw and part of your neck “You know what I want.”

As soon as he says that, your body betrays you and you feel a wave of goosebumps running up your arms. Still, even with the clear expression of desire on Max's face, he doesn't move forward, just waits for your reaction.

You would be lying if you didn't admit to yourself that you miss him. Almost everyday, you miss the domesticity of your relationship, you miss his eyes looking for yours across any room or being the first thing you see as you wake up, you miss his touch both when it’s rough or when it’s exploratory like he wanted his fingertips to memorize you, his nimble hands and his cock stretching you.

You stand on your tiptoes to close the distance, and it's still not enough to reach him, so you grab the collar of his shirt and pull him down until your lips meet. He kisses you tentatively for a few seconds, and then his arm wraps around your waist and he lifts you off the ground, pressing you against his body while opening his lips to yours to deepen the kiss. When his tongue meets yours, you let out a moan that he captures with his mouth.

Your fingers move up from his shoulder to the back of his neck and you pull his hair hard, thinking it should always be like this. That you both belong in each other's arms.

Then you remember he was the one who ended it. He was the one who dumped you right after going on the new season of Formula 1. Probably to be free to fuck some groupie or something.

You move until he puts you back on the ground, and as soon as you find your balance, you push him so hard that he stumbles back two steps, surprised by your sudden refusal.

The both of you are panting as you sit on the edge of the bed, running your hands through your hair as you try to find your sanity again.

“You did this to us” you manage to say through heavy breathing, “You broke up with me to go on new adventures, and you still have the audacity to talk about me as if I had broken your heart”

“Love…” He starts, the pet name probably a slip out of habit, but that makes you even more furious.

“Don’t fucking ‘love’ me!” you point an accusatory finger in his direction.

Max stands like a statue, panting and his lips are red and a little stained with your lipstick, and his chest is rising and falling. You stare at him not knowing what to do now. Then you look at his face, his eyes closed as if he was trying hard to think, his hair even more messy because of your hands seconds ago. Max takes a deep breath, then he takes a step towards you, and kneels right in front of you.

“I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I should never have done that, I love you and I miss you every fucking day,” He looks up at you, his blue eyes shining in surrender, in a way that leaves you weak. “I'll do anything to win you back,” He says, placing both hands gently on your knees. Max looks at you intently as he gently runs his hand down your leg, until he closes his hand around your ankle. He slowly lifts your leg, as if expecting a negative reaction, and then leaves a kiss on your calf without taking his eyes off you. “Please- I- let me win you back- I’ll do anything you want- Let me be good to you…”

The sigh that leaves your lips is almost involuntary when he kisses a little higher on your calf, and then another one above your knee, followed by a soft bite. You almost let yourself get carried away by the effect of his mouth on you, but then you remember to regain control of the situation.

“With how many people did you have sex with after me?” you ask, and he immediately stops moving to look at you.

“None.” He answers, and you bend forward to hold the back of his neck and you pull his hair hard until he lifts his head with a groan.

“Don't lie to me, it's been eight months, Max. Are you going to tell me you haven’t had sex with anyone?” you ask through gritted teeth, without letting go of his hair. He stares at you firmly when he answers again.

“No one.”

“You swear?” you ask, finally loosening your grip on his hair.

“I swear,” He kisses and nibbles your legs again, as if he doesn't want to leave any part of you untasted. “I- I just- fucked my hand thinking about you.” He whispers against your thigh and you almost don't hear him, he says it so quietly.

He continues moving up, and you gasp as he kisses the space at your waist between the base of your corset and the waistband of your skirt. Each touch seems to send a jolt of pleasure straight into your core, and you do your best not to give in too quickly. You hold Max's face and make him look at you again.

“You have half an hour. Better fuck me hard” you command, and he swallows hard, nodding his head.

You finally let yourself fall back onto the bed as he kisses your body again. He tries to lift the corset, but the fabric is too tight. Then Max pulls the corset down in one motion, just enough to release your breasts from above. As soon as your tits spill out, Max grabs them like he's starving.

You can no longer contain your moans when his hands hold your hips, trying to reach under your skirt and his mouth alternates between licking from the base of your breasts to the tip of your nipples, and taking in as much as he can put in his mouth to suck at once. And you know with how hard he's doing it, you're going to have hickey marks all over tomorrow.

“How does this come out?” He asks, looking like he’s having difficulties with the corset.

“From behind.”

Max leaves your breasts to kiss your neck for a moment and you feel one of his hands reaching between your back and the mattress to try to open it. With an irritated growl, he palms your back. You squeal when, with a quick movement, he pulls your back, rolling you around and turning you face down on the bed. He makes a sound of approval when he finally undoes the corset, takes it off you, and tosses it away. He pulls the zipper on the back of your skirt, but it catches halfway, so he pulls hard and you hear the ripping sound until you feel the fabric loosen on your skin. With a sound of disapproval, you're about to curse Max’s entire lineage, when he cuts you off:

“I'll buy you another one. I’ll buy you whatever you want.” He gasps and soon you feel his hands touching your back and going down until they palm each side of your ass. He squeezes hard and you groan against the mattress, probably making a mess on the bedsheets with your lipstick. “I missed this,” He says, and then he gives your ass a slap that leaves you weak, then another slap on the other side, which makes your pussy throb. He gently massages where he hit on your asscheeks.

“Are you going to stand there admiring or are you going to ‘win me back’?” you say in a sarcastic voice when you look over your shoulder and Max is kneeling between your legs, staring at your ass like it's the Eighth Wonder of the Modern World.

“You're very bossy, you know that?” He says with a soft smile. He pulls your panties down to your knees.

“And you are complaining too much for someone who is on probation,” you keep looking over your shoulder and see how he takes his middle and ring fingers into his mouth, sucking on them to moisten.

“Probation, eh?” He says, getting closer to you.

“Yeah, or do you think you can get back this easily into my life?” You scoff.

You stop looking when his hand disappears between your legs, and you feel his touch gently on your pussy. You grip the sheet expectantly, as he presses your clit and you moan against the sheets again. When his fingers penetrate you, you start to move your hips, following the friction of his long fingers.

Max knows your body like no one else, the bastard, and you feel embarrassingly close to orgasm in just a few minutes of stimulation. You hear the indecent noise of how wet your pussy makes his fingers every time he moves them in and out, massaging your G-spot with infuriating precision. When your pussy clenches against his fingers, you try to do something, anything, to delay the orgasm.

Without stopping his movements, Max bends over you, kissing the back of your neck, then he approaches your ear and whispers:

“I’ve got you, pretty baby”

You want to curse him for the power of this pet name in your ear but your mind simply explodes into a thousand fireworks when you finally come, still leaning over feeling Max's lips on the back of your neck. He keeps his fingers in you for a few seconds as you try to recover from the orgasm.

When Max moves away and you feel his weight leave the bed, you roll over so your back is to the mattress so you can see him. He gets rid of his clothes very quickly, and your mouth is practically watering seeing him completely naked.

“Are you sure?” Max asks, fisting his member before going back to bed.

“So sure, baby” you say, with one finger raised, you make a “come here” gesture. He starts to climb onto the bed, “And as I’m feeling merciful today, I will ride you just the way you love” As soon as Max is hovering over you, you push him until he falls back onto the bed, rolling over him and getting on top.

Moving your hair out of the way, you crawl down until you’re between his legs, holding the base of his perfect cock. You lick him from bottom to top, from his balls to his cockhead and his hips jerk with the contact.

“Love, please” He interrupts you, grabbing your face and pulling you on top of him. “If you blow me, I'll cross the finish line too soon.”

“Now, this is the first time this is a problem for you,” you tease him, letting a bead of saliva drop onto his cock which makes his little giggle turn into a groan.

“Baby, please, I need to be buried into you”

With a laugh, you do as he asks, and sit on his lap, pressing his length between the two of us and sliding your pussy over him, your wetness indecent.

“You're trying to kill me, woman,” He says in a tense voice. You watch the head of his cock disappear between your lower lips as you grind against him and more groans leave his throat.

You lift your hips enough to hold his cock and position it at your entrance. From top to bottom, you slide his length inside you slowly, and it takes some time for you to be able to fit him inside you completely. His girth is something above average, and the eight months since your breakup that you've been in a drought require you a minute to readapt to his size.

You let out a moan when you finally bring your hips together and feel overwhelmed by his size. You place both hands on Max's chest for balance and dig your nails into his pale skin. You lift your hips just a few inches and sit back down, the friction making you both moan so loudly that for a moment you worry you might be heard. Then you remember that the party is in full swing downstairs, and the music is loud enough that you don't need to worry.

Max's two hands hold your ass and you start to move with more rhythm, going very high before coming back down with everything, pushing his cock inside you. His lips are parted and you bend down to kiss his chin and neck.

“You are mine,” Something possessive inside you makes you say that. Max looks at you completely surrendered. “Do you understand?” He nods. You leave a hickey on his shoulder that makes him contract deliciously inside you and mark him as yours. You increase the speed of the rise and fall of your hips, your moans matching his.

Max gives up his control fully and just lets you ride him the way you want, his moans getting louder and louder by the second. He stretches you so well that your toes curl, and Max presses his hand on your lower belly, the pressure makes you feel something completely different as your eyes roll back in pleasure.

Your knees weaken and Max takes the opportunity to reverse your positions again, placing you on your back on the bed as if he were impatient. Without disconnecting your bodies, he reaches for a pillow and places it under your hips to lift you a bit in the new position. He put your thighs over his where he is kneeling between your legs. Max pushes into you slowly, going deeper and deeper with each thrust. Your head drops back when he goes all the way in, his hips meeting yours until there is no space in between.

“Max! Oh fuck- oh-” you practically scream, pinching your own nipples to find some relief, “Oh my God!

In the new position he presses deep into your G-spot and you know you won't last much longer. His hands hold your hips even tighter and he lifts practically half of your body off the bed to thrust into you hard enough to make your head bounce on the bed.

There's nothing you can do but surrender to the pleasure that's building inside you with the way Max manipulates your body, holding onto his forearms for dear life, probably leaving some nail marks behind.

Max puts you back on the pillow, one hand he flattens on your stomach to keep you in place, and the other he presses his thumb to your clit. From then on, it's a lost cause. It's a matter of minutes before the orgasm that has been building for the second time erupts.

Your brain blackouts for a second as he pushes you off the cliff, and your hip shakes so hard that you thank God you're underneath, otherwise you would have fallen. Your pussy spasms also make Max cum soon after. Panting, he pulls out and falls on top of you, his head against your chest.

You lay like that trying to catch your breath for long minutes without saying anything, one of Max's hands running up and down your side and your fingers playing with his hair.

You still haven't said anything when you get up and go to the bathroom to clean up. When you’re putting on your panties, you remember Max destroyed your miniskirt. You gather the fabric from the floor and fold it.

“I'm sorry about the skirt,” Max finally breaks the silence, giving you the button-down shirt he was wearing earlier. As soon as you put your arms through the sleeve, Max fastens the buttons for you. you end up wearing the bustier over the shirt, like these it girls do and the final look isn't so bad. Max puts on another outfit and looks for a new shirt in a backpack that you know belongs to one of your friends.

When you’re both dressed, you leave the room still unsure of what to say. Max holds your hand, stopping you from walking any further.

“How are we now? Will you give you another chance?” he asks, sounding anxious. You realize you haven't given him a complete answer yet, which is why he seems uncertain like this. You rise on tiptoe, and bring your lips closer, holding his neck.

“I said you're mine, didn't I?” you whisper against his lips. You leave a quick peck on his lips and pull away.

But this time he doesn't let go of your hand, he just keeps holding on, tightly as you walk down the stairs back to the party, just in time for the countdown to New Year's Eve.

When you arrive at your friends' table, they start shouting and applauding when they see that you are holding hands.

“You guys are back together?” Alex asks, hugging Charles, over the voices of people counting down from 20.

“Max is on probation, if he behaves, we'll get back together,” you say with a playful tone and everyone laughs.

Max wraps his arms around your waist and you two join the countdown.

5, 4, 3, 2… 1!

“Happy New Year, Max!” you shout, over the voices of everyone celebrating the new year. He holds your face with both hands and looks at you as if you were his entire world, his blue eyes shining with deep feeling.

“I love you,” He whispers in your ear, before pulling you to sit on his lap and placing a kiss on your lips. He clings to you like he is afraid if he let you go, you will leave again.

"I love you too, pretty baby," you whispered back, laughing as his face went red.

[vynegar]

vyn 5th birthday ssr, part one

so… it has (yet again) been almost a year and a half since my last translation. honestly i didn’t expect to be back either since i’ve been taking a hiatus from reading CN server cards, so this is a surprise to me too! there were just some parts of this story i really liked and wanted to translate, so here we are. i hope you enjoy!

disclaimer (there is an extra one): this is a fan translation and i am not fluent in chinese, so keep in mind that there will be mistakes. please also note that although i’m translating this story, i don’t necessarily agree with everything that’s said in the story or with how it handles certain topics (mainly regarding the justice system and mental illness). feel free to let me know if you have questions, concerns, or comments.

do not repost without explicit permission. if you want to quote this or reference parts of the translation, credit and link back to me.

check my masterlist for more of my analysis/translations.

timestamps go along with the card video here. it’s not mine, please support the uploader ShiroNaya by liking/commenting/subscribing. also note that while the video uses the S-CN dub, the text is T-CN, so the on-screen text may have slight differences with the dub and my translation.

[PART ONE]

[0:31] Themis Law Firm

It was lunch hour, and the drowsy atmosphere spread through the office like a virus. Sunlight blurred the words on my screen until they were hard to distinguish. My thoughts were starting to wander, as the red circle I had drawn on my desktop calendar looked especially bright.

MC: (Come to think of it, it’s almost Vyn’s birthday…)

Last year we were stuck in Svart because of the Appointment Ceremony, but this year things were quiet. However, I couldn’t be sure if this was simply the quiet before the storm, or if Eirik had truly understood Vyn’s resolve after we escaped…

MC: (Either way… last year was tumultuous, but this year we should be able to peacefully celebrate Vyn’s birthday. Maybe I should ask him what his thoughts are…)

I unlocked my phone. Figuring that Vyn was probably still taking his afternoon nap, I instead started to search restaurants he might be interested in…

Kiki: Huh!? Is this real?!

The quiet office broke out into commotion; Kiki’s shout startled me so much I almost dropped my phone.

Kiki: MC, look at this.

Before I could react, my vision was completely obstructed by a phone screen Kiki reached over to show me.

???: I, Zheng Yan, have had my life ruined by false charges! My family was torn apart, and now they’re all dead! Do I really deserve all this?! Yes, I’ve made mistakes. But if this is all just karma, then where’s the karma for the people who harmed me?!

Kiki was showing me a livestream of a middle-aged man standing on a rooftop. His face was haggard, his hair was mostly white, and he made no attempt to conceal his pain and despair. The hoarse shouting was scattered to the fierce winds.

Zheng Yan: You’re all good people, but I… I just don’t want to live anymore!

MC: What?!

The man stepped over the railing. His cumbersome body seemed like he might lose his balance at any moment, causing several more people in the office to cry out in alarm.

MC: Is he livestreaming his suicide?!

Kiki: Yes. He’s only just started, but the stream already has over a million hits.

A livestreamed suicide made for a shocking headline. Before long, the law firm was filled with continuous sound of the man’s laments.

Zheng Yan: My son is just a boy, but because we didn’t have the money for his treatment, all he could do in the end was just wait at home to die. When he was in so much pain he couldn’t sleep, I was in prison. When he was on his deathbed crying out for his dad, I was still in prison! I’m despicable. I should just die! I’m sorry, Xiao Zhuo, I’m so sorry… (1)

He was crawling on the ground, weeping. I couldn’t help but frown at the sight of such a heartbroken father.

MC: What happened to him? What made him like this?

Kiki: It seems like he was wrongfully imprisoned in Svart, but he hasn’t gone into specifics.

MC: Svart?

The sobbing gradually stopped. Zheng Yan calmed himself, then looked back into the camera.

Zheng Yan: But before I die, I won’t let the person who harmed me get away with it!  I’m going to show everyone your true colors!

[flashback]

[3:39] Interrogation Room

The room was dim. With the only window facing a hallway, even the alternation of day and night had lost all meaning here. Worse still was the unrelenting rain – like hypnotic white noise, the incessant thunderstorm wore down even the most resilient of minds.

Zheng Yan didn’t know how long had passed, but based on the increasing impatience of his interrogator, Detective Jack, he figured his custody limit was almost up (2). Just hang in there a little longer, he thought. They had simply gotten the wrong guy. Soon, he would be free, and once he was out of the police station he could go home to Stellis. It was summer, which meant Xiao Zhuo’s birthday was coming up. Zheng Yan hadn’t seen his son since coming to Svart. Did his son still remember him…?

???: Ahem.

A coffee spoon clinked against the walls of the cup. The crisp sound immediately interrupted his wistful daydreams.

???: You seem distracted.

Ah yes, how could he forget. There was someone else in the room.

A young man sat across from him nonchalantly, holding a coffee mug. There was nothing remarkable about his appearance – except his unforgettable eyes. Zheng Yan had been to prison in Stellis and seen people with all sorts of looks in their eyes: those muddled with desire, those agonized by regret… but he had never seen eyes so clear that they made him feel ashamed. People had weaknesses because they had a goal, and this man seemed to have no goal.

Zheng Yan: Oh… what were we talking about…?

Although the atmosphere wasn’t tense, Zheng Yan still felt a sense of unease. The young man hadn’t revealed his name, only that he was a psychology consultant invited by the police and that he just wanted to chat with him. It didn’t sound very formal, almost as if the police were out of other options… However, it was still possible that this was just a smokescreen for something else. What had this person been thinking when Zheng Yan was lost in his own thoughts?

Young man: We were talking about how the different the weather is in Svart compared to Stellis. You are still not accustomed to it.

The young man easily brought up the trivial topic, wasting the police’s precious time.

Zheng Yan: Ah… that’s right, summer here is nothing compared to summer in Stellis! Xiao Zhuo’s mom would always make a big pot of mung bean soup around this time of year, and any leftovers we would make into mung bean popsicles. Whenever Xiao Zhuo got so hot he was sweating like a pig, he would eat one to cool off. You probably haven’t had mung bean soup before, have you? Back when I was in Stellis, it was too sweet for me, but now I miss the stuff.

Young man: I have tried making it before, but it is not as hot here as it is in Stellis. Its cooling effect was not that apparent.

Zheng Yan: Oho, sounds like you’re interested in Stellis! You’ve even tried making mung bean soup. I didn’t think people from Svart had even heard of the dish.

Young man: Is that enough to count as “interest?” Although, it is true that I would like to visit Stellis.

The man was reticent, but it was the first time he showed an emotion that Zheng Yan could not understand.

Zheng Yan: Sounds good! When you have a chance, come visit me at my home. People from Stellis are very welcoming to guests.

Young man: “Visit you at your home”… So you believe you still have a chance of leaving.

The man responded to Zheng Yan’s promise with an almost-instinctual disdain, as if he knew something that Zheng Yan didn’t. His tone wasn’t even that of a question, it was one of finality.

Zheng Yan: Why wouldn’t I? I already said, I didn’t kill anyone. And the police haven’t found any evidence – are they planning on arresting a good person?

Zheng Yan unwittingly rose his voice. Ever since he’d been detained, everyone had been acting like he would never be able to leave… Why? He hadn’t killed anyone! The police had it all wrong, and there was no way they found any evidence. Once the custody limit was up, he would be free to go. Xiao Zhuo was still waiting for his dad. Zheng Yan was certain he’d be able to go home, of course he’d be able to, he had to.

Young man: You, a good person? Perhaps Stellis and Svart have very different definitions of what it means to be a “good person.”

Zheng Yan quickly realized that getting emotional was playing right into his hands… But no matter how much he tried to control himself, the derision in the man’s words wounded him deeply. When he left Stellis, Xiao Zhuo had said the same thing ��� sobbing, he said that he didn’t want a bad person as his dad. Xiao Zhuo was only a child, so that undisguised loathing had stabbed Zheng Yan right in the heart. He couldn’t help but clench his fists.

Young man: I saw your Stellis criminal record. First burglary, then armed robbery… just one crime after another. Right now your child is only seven years old, but the sum of all the prison terms you have been sentenced to is longer than the time he has been alive.

Zheng Yan: I admit it, I made a lot of mistakes in the past. I lost my way. But for Xiao Zhuo’s sake, I turned over a new leaf – I’m a changed man now!

Young man: Hah…

The man snorted. His blatant ridicule provoked Zheng Yan once again, even after Zheng Yan’s effort to calm himself down.

Zheng Yan: Is something funny?!

Young man: Why of course. I would love to ask Xiao Zhuo whether he thinks someone sitting handcuffed in an interrogation room is a “changed man.” I am sure he would laugh even harder than I did.

Zheng Yan: You have the wrong guy! I didn’t kill anyone, the cops made a mistake!

That had provoked Zheng Yan. His handcuffs made a harsh sound as metal scraped metal, a reminder of how dire and helpless his current situation was.

Young man: The police would not arrest someone without a good reason. Only you and the deceased were in the office when the crime occurred, and you do not even have a proper alibi. Do you really think you can escape this?

The man’s index finger tapped the table sporadically. In contrast with Zheng Yan’s agitation, he seemed certain of his victory.

Young man: You are only this relaxed because you believe the crime occurred in a locked room. As long as the police are unable to determine how you committed the crime, you will be released once your custody limit is up. But were your efforts really that flawless? To be honest with you, your custody limit is going to be extended again. This means that the police will have more time to investigate.

Zheng Yan: You guys—!

On the verge of being consumed by rage, Zheng Yan was no longer rational enough to discern the veracity of that statement. The young man paused, suppressing his annoyance at having to waste time talking to Zheng Yan, then put on a charitable expression.

Young man: There is a difference between choosing to turn yourself in and having to confess. I am sure you understand this better than I do, considering all the experience you have.

Because he wasn’t a police officer, the young man spoke with no reservation. Each word was filled with contempt for someone with a criminal record.

Zheng Yan: How can I confess to something I haven’t done!

Young man: Stop with the useless defiance. Have you thought about how your son would feel? Maybe when you left Stellis for a fresh start, he still had a sliver of hope for you. But if he knew how much of a coward you were, how you were trying to escape the consequences of your actions, I bet he would wish he never had someone like you as his father. You see, all you fathers are like this. You claim that you have your children’s best interests at heart, but in reality you are nothing but selfish!

Zheng Yan: That’s not true!

Zheng Yan pounded the table, but nothing could stop the man’s scathing words. The young man was still speaking, but Zheng Yan could no longer hear it. Once again, he recalled Xiao Zhuo’s sobbing face.

“I don’t want a bad person like you as my dad!”

���He would wish he never had someone like you as his father.”

The two voices wove together until they seemed to come from one person, and Zheng Yan couldn’t take it any longer.

Zheng Yan: Shut up! You’re lying! There’s no way… Xiao Zhuo is my son, there’s no way he wouldn’t want his dad!

Young man: Who would acknowledge a father who brings nothing but shame?

The man’s voice seemed to get sharper and sharper. Zheng Yan wished he could cover his ears but was unable to. With tears and snot streaming down his face, he knew he looked a complete mess already, but he just wanted the man to shut up.

Zheng Yan: Shut up! Shut up!

Young man: There you go again, trying to run away. How utterly humiliating it is for a son to have a father like you!

Would confessing to the crime shut that man up? He just had to confess, and that man would shut up. Then he would confess – to the murder or to whatever other crimes, he would confess to them all.

Zheng Yan: I… I did it. I confess.

Young man: Now if only you had done that earlier.

Completely numb, Zheng Yan didn’t even know what he was saying. He mechanically pressed his thumbprint to the document with his confession, signing it. Then, as if possessed, he looked again toward the young man.

Young man: *sigh*

The man hadn’t left yet. Of course the victor would want to stay behind to examine his spoils.

Sensing Zheng Yan’s gaze, the man looked back unflinchingly.

[11:11] [screen blacks out]

Zheng Yan vaguely recalled a nature documentary he had once watched with Xiao Zhuo back in Stellis. The eyes of a cheetah were visible from where it was silently hiding. It wasn’t that it had no goal, but rather that it had already determined its plan.

[11:19] Themis Law Firm

The sun was still high in the sky, but Zheng Yan’s narrative was so expressive that I felt like I was really in that dark, damp interrogation room.

Kiki: Do you think this Zheng Yan is telling the truth?

Kiki clearly felt the same way I did, as she subconsciously rubbed her arms and shuddered.

Kiki: Our current justice system is so refined that I don’t believe a confession could be induced or coerced… but his story is just so horribly realistic. It’s hard not to believe him.

MC: Right. Even if he were coerced to confess during the interrogation… There’s still a lengthy trial afterwards, where Zheng Yan would have plenty of opportunities to retract his confession. If there were no evidence whatsoever, how could he get such a long sentence based only on some botched false charges? But still, he doesn’t seem like one of those suspects who puts on act in order to be exonerated…

As a lawyer, we had seen countless suspects who kept up the crocodile tears until they were faced with ironclad evidence, then finally confessed.  As a result, it was critical for us to learn how to distinguish those who were putting on a show from those who were sincere. But his words had even stirred experienced professionals like us, let alone the vast majority of the public in the comments. Immediately, the comments toward the person who forced the confession became vicious and hateful, the words they used downright vitriolic. 

MC: Pain and despair aren’t difficult for a criminal to feign, but fabricating other characters in a story is much harder. You can practically feel the pressure from the psychology consultant that he described. If he hadn’t personally met the man, then considering his rash personality, it would be very hard for him to describe him so vividly.

Kiki: Vivid? I didn’t really feel that way, I just thought that person sounded scary. Maybe it’s because you’re with Dr. Richter, who’s also a psychologist. You’ve seen so much of his work that the story affected you more.

Kiki was just making an offhand remark, but it had given an outlet to the discomfort I was feeling. It was impossible to ignore the connection after the mentions of Svart, psychology consults, and those comments about his father. And yet I was unable to associate my image of Vyn with that person who trampled all over someone’s mental defenses. There was no way that the Vyn I knew could be an immoral person who stereotyped others and lodged personal attacks.

MC: Maybe you’re right…

Zheng Yan was still tearfully describing what he experienced in prison and how he returned to Stellis to find both his wife and son had passed away. I could faintly hear police sirens in the background. It seemed that the police had arrived at the scene, and the situation was changing rapidly. Zheng Yan, however, was hopelessly consumed by his own fury.

Zheng Yan: At first when I got out of prison, I just wanted to forget about everything that had happened and be together with my family. But I no longer had a family. At first I just wanted to take my own life and end it all, but I never thought that… I’d come across news of that psychology consultant. I never thought that he would actually come to Stellis, and even become a famous professor at Stellis University.

As Zheng Yan recounted his enemy’s personal information, it wasn’t clear whether he could predict the waves that those details would make.

Zheng Yan: The person who harmed me is out there living a great life, and here I am, an innocent man made into a criminal! How is the world so unfair!

Each sentence crashed into me like a tidal wave. Dimly, I guessed what he was going to say next, but I felt I could no longer think.

Zheng Yan: I know that if I say his name on livestream, it might be considered slander. But I’m willing to take responsibility for everything that I say. I’ll pay the price, no matter what it is. It’s not like I have anything left to lose!

Zheng Yan paused before facing the camera head-on, as if making a declaration of war.

Zheng Yan: It took a lot of work to find out what that consultant is called nowadays.

If he hadn’t spoken out on this kind of platform, maybe the situation could still be salvaged. But here, like an arrow released from a bow, there was no turning back.

Zheng Yan: His name… is Vyn Richter!

With a “whoosh,” that arrow sliced through the air, piercing me right between my eyes.

[END PART ONE]

[PART TWO]

(1) Xiao (小) is a prefix to make a nickname out of the name Zhuo (卓)

(2) “Custody Limit” Big Data Lab entry (under Academia>Law): A custody limit is the legal time limit that an accused person can be detained while under investigation, prosecution, or trial. Under Svart law, the police can arrest a suspect for up to 48 hours. If the suspect isn’t formally charged within the time limit, they must be released. The time limit can be approved for extension, but cannot exceed 96 hours.

[brooooswriting]

Hello, I love your writing so much!

Can I request this prompt with Brie, pretty please?

"Don't go on that date."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Say it."

Where Brie and R are friends but R is in love with her. Maybe a little angst with a happy ending?

No pressure if you don't feel like it. Thank you 💜

I love this request

“Please, Brie, I promise she's so sweet and nice. Plus, she's hot. You'll like her,” Lizzie tried to convince her as she sat across from her. She and Scarlett had gotten her a blind date. You sat in the kitchen with Tessa, playing some card game that was long abandoned as you listened to their conversation. Your heart broke when you heard Brie say that she'll go.

But this was your own fault. You had gotten friend-zoned a long time ago, as Brie never took your flirting for real. You had flirted too much with too many people in front of her. However, she was the only one who never noticed how different your flirting was when it was with her.

You were so much more truthful, and you always complimented her. It wasn't hard to realize that you were in love with her. They all knew; Scar, Lizzie, Tessa, Robert, and even Chris. At this point, you were sure she knew, too, but she didn't feel the same, so she acted like she didn't know.

Lizzie felt terrible for you, but it was no use. No matter how much she pushed you, you never made a move, and she also didn't wanna see Brie so lonely. So, once she met this girl she immediately thought of her blonde friend.

“Y/n, Tessa. Get over here so we can finally watch a movie,” Scarlett called out once she had decided which movie to watch. With a sigh, you both stood up and made your way to the couch. Unsurprisingly, you had the seat next to Brie, the worst thing that could have happened to you at that moment. She smiled up at you, making your heart beat faster.

“Hey, lovely,” you said with a smile as you sat down. It wasn't unusual for you to call her pet names like that. Another thing that was different from your normal flirting was that you never once called somebody lovely or darling. But it didn't matter now. If Lizzie’s Girl was really that perfect for the blonde, it was over for you.

You had been so in your thoughts that you missed the whole movie. It was impossible to recall even one scene. During the film, the actress decided to cuddle into you, making it even harder to concentrate as you imagined a life where this was normal. “So, how'd you like the film?” she asked once the post-credits rolled, but you only stared at her. “Y/n?” she called out again, making you flinch a bit before focusing on what she said.

“Sorry, what did you say?” you asked once you had collected your thoughts.

“What's wrong?” brie suddenly asked, using her hand to cup your face. At this moment, you realize that you couldn't do this. It was too much, and so you did the only thing you knew how to do. You left.

“I'm sorry, I gotta go. Thanks for hosting Scarlett. Bye, guys.” You rushed the words out as you stood up. Disappearing before anyone could stop you.

Nobody had heard from you in two days, and you hadn't planned on talking to anyone for the next couple of weeks. Today was Bries' blind date, which meant that for the next week or so, everybody was going to talk about it. That was something that you could go without. The only texts you read were the ones from your home screen. Several pictures of the blonde trying on different outfits for tonight. Gosh, how you hated this. There were texts from the other three, hyping her up and telling her which one looked the best.

‘I’d rather stay home in a hoodie and sweatpants, ’ the newest text from Brie read, and again, you looked at the picture. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw that she was wearing your hoodie, the one from high school with your name on the back.

Ten minutes later, you stood in front of Brie’s house. As is trying to remake a disgustingly cheesy movie, it had started pouring halfway to the blonde's house. You looked so out of place, you were wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, and your hair was in a messy bun. For a moment you considered walking back to your apartment, leaving Brie to get with someone else. But now you were here and you had to at least try.

So, like any sane person would, you hammered on the door until she opened it. The second the door was open, you interrupted her. “Don't go on that date,” you got out between rattling teeth, the coldness, and the rain getting to you.

She looked at you for a second. “Why?” her face was stoic, not showing any emotion, making this a living hell for you.

“You know why” you answered, looking at her still wearing your hoodie.

“Say it” Her voice was desperate and her eyes pled you to say something. Anything that she could hold on to.

You mumbled an unsure ‘Brie,’ making her shake her head and take a step back to close the door. “Because I love you, and I have for years. Because I have been flirting with you since forever, and you flirted back, and if you didn't just flirt to play, then that means that you like me too.”

It was silent for a moment as Brie leaned against the door. “You flirt with everyone y/n. That's just your personality.”

“No, it's different with you. Don't you get that? I'm not flirting with you; I'm complimenting you. I'm giving you my heart,” you argued back. Then again, silence followed as both of you were unsure what to say. “One kiss,” you suddenly blurted out. Making yours and Brie’s eyes go wide.

“What?”

“One kiss. If you want me to leave after that, then I will. But please, you have to give me this chance. I know that I came at a shitty time, but I couldn't watch you go out with somebody else. Not again. Not after everybody treated you like so much less than you actually are. If this is-” Before you could finish your monologue, Brie surged forward and pressed her lips to yours. Her hands clasped the back of your neck while yours landed on her waist to pull her closer.

Your heart soared when she suddenly pulled away, her movement hectic, making you flinch. “B-Brie?” you called out quietly and unsure as she looked around frantic.

“My phone, I- I gotta call Lizzie. She has to cancel the date.” She said, walking inside to get her phone, leaving you in front of the door. You were unsure if she wanted you to come inside or not, so you just stood in front of the door. Cuddling Six thirty when he walked by for a moment. “Are you coming?” she called out for you, making you hurry inside and close the door.

“I know, Lizzie, I'm sorry, but,” she looked at you for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. “Y/n is here, and” she was interrupted by Elizabeth rather quickly then.

“I'll tell her. Bye. Have fun. But not too much fun,” and then she already hung up. She discarded her phone on the counter going back to you.

“Sooo, now what?” the blonde asked when she sat next to you on the couch. Out of habit, she scooched closer to you while you wrapped your arm around her.

“How about Star Wars and some hot dogs?” you received a kiss as an answer before she laid her head on your shoulder.

Sometimes, it was worth taking the risk.

[joobywooby]

8:17 p.m

Angst, mentions of anxiety and self doubt, like one curse world, lots of fluff and comfort at the end <3

Jooyeon's smile dropped from his face the moment his eyes scanned the text message on his phone. "I'm so sorry baby, I won't be able to make it to the show tonight, work called me in :( ", it had read. He felt his heart drop, a million thoughts rushing through his head as he reread it over and over again. He had been preparing non stop for their upcoming showcase, prepared a nice bit of time after the show for the two of you to just spend some time together after what felt like forever, only for his efforts to go in vain.

He wasn't angry at you, he didn't even know if he had any cells in his body capable of being even slightly irritated at you. He just missed you so much, and this was one opportunity for the near future to make you feel special, and it just seemed like the universe just didn't want that to happen.

Little did he know, you were already packed and locking the door to your shared apartment to be at the concert on time. He was always doing things for you that made you feel special and loved, so you figured now was the time to return the favor to your sweet boyfriend.

Rehearsal was going....well, to be quite frank it was terrible. Jooyeon wasn't able to recall any of his lines, nor was he able to play a single note, no matter how hard he tried to focus. The others noticed (And were also in on the surprise). Sighing, Seungmin made his way over to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, ushering him gently backstage for a "Quick sip of water and a break to clear his head". Sighing, he reluctantly agreed, dragging his feet behind him, at this point just wanting to get the concert over and done with so he could go back to his room and go to sleep.

"Shit, I think we may be out of water bottles, let me go check the fridge down the hall", Seungmin says, signaling for Jooyeon to wait for him to get back. The older was surprised with himself for how well he had been able to keep his composure, a twinge of guilt hitting him seeing how upset Jooyeon had been about you not being able to make it.

He's quick to meet you in one of the empty meeting rooms, placing a finger over his lips signaling you to keep quiet and not ruin the surprise. Tiptoeing back to the rest area where Jooyeon was slumped on the couch, you stood for a moment, admiring the way his sharp jaw jutted his lips into a pout, mess of hair sat atop his head, his freckles sprinkled just perfectly across the bridge of his nose and at the top of his cheekbone. He was so perfect, making you unknowingly hold your breath.

"They were out in the back too, but they had these and I know you like these so I grabbed one instead", Seungmin can't help his smile now after clearing his throat to announce his presence to the younger. Slowly and reluctantly, Jooyeon turns around to see what his friend had brought, eyes going wide and a choked sob leaving his throat as his gaze met yours.

His phone he was scrolling on is long forgotten as he tosses it on the sofa, scrambling to his feet, and although he almost trips in the process, he makes it to you in a fraction of a second, squeezing you tight in his hold, finally letting himself cry, releasing the emotions he had been trying not to feel all day.

"I'm right here baby. Shhh I'm here", your whispers are gentle, fingers carding through his hair, breaking up the tangles that had made their way to his head from working. You were his entire world, and even just the slightest feeling of not having you by his side made him feel so lost, all purpose he felt he had seemingly gone. All of that didn't matter now, not with you safe and secure in his arms.

"I'm so glad you're here, I was so upset when you texted me", he feels small, not used to expressing his emotions verbally, opting for showing you how he felt instead. You feel your own eyes begin to tear up, small smile making its way to your lips as you bring him into a kiss, tender and slow, his hand moving to cup your cheek to bring you almost impossibly closer. There was nothing else in the world that mattered to him at that moment, not when he had you to have and to hold.

[tarotnoob]

JK (belated) bday reading - 9/2

I'm doing this on September 2nd. I think I did read for him on his actual birthday but I wasn't going to post anything. However I was thinking of him this morning because I was working on scheduling a tattoo appointment.

btw - sorry for typos in these; I voice to text my readings and since they're so long... I really don't go back and edit them. I'm more like a tarot therapist, I like to talk my way through a reading.

disclaimer: entertainment purposes only; tarot is not fact, so please don't use tarot readings as a means of proof about anything.

Going back to the readings I did in June for a sec (feel free to skip the next few paragraphs if you didnt read those):

Two things that stood out for predictions that were interesting to me because they so specifically came out as something: The first was Jin, and I didn't think it made sense at all for right after he got out of the military service, he would go camping and be doing these activities and stuff and then they announced that he had that show where the first one he was camping and hiking lol. Take that with a grain of salt but that was kind of you know a little specific. The second is about Tae. When I did his reading, I specifically mentioned that I wasn't picking up the word lonely, I was picking up the word alone. And then on are you sure, he literally plays Jimins song “alone” and says that this is the song that he relates to the most and anybody who likes it best on the album would get him.

I really really like to do predictions so when I can validate something actually happened without somebody really reaching hard to try and say oh yeah that came true. But I thought those were two very specific examples of something I talked about and then much later it kind of comes up. Come on, Tae's is... interesting.

Jungkook's birthday reading:

For reference, I looked at the photo of JK that Jhope had uploaded to his IG (which is interesting as Jhope will come up a lot in this).

I'm sitting down to look at his spread but I thought it was kind of remarkable that he got so many court cards, all of them cup cards. And then when I did the clarifications using another deck again I got court cards but with the pentacles. Usually when there's a lot of court cards, people say that can mean multiple people are around or involved or whatever and that could be the case. I find court cards strange so I like to clarify them. And then when I see the seven of swords I always like to clarify it. I get that card a lot for him and sometimes Jimin. You know besides being a card about lie or gossip, it's a card about secrets or I also sometimes see it as a card where somebody's carrying a lot of painful things on their own or trying to do too much on their own. It can also be if you want to read it in a positive light being resourceful I guess but it still has that sneaky undertone. 

Also the back of the deck for the clarification card was the hierophant and that came out in the first deck. Point being when that happens it's creepy and it means there's some consistency. 

So let's look at the original deck and then we'll look at the oracles. We have page of cups, seven of swords, King of cups, hierophant. Back of deck is the night of cups plus the fool. Oracle cards are listen, dream, and communication at the back of the deck with an invitation behind it. 

You know what's funny is on the service this is the perfect combination for somebody who just eloped lol. We do have a theme set by the oracles, we have listen, communication, and dream. So there is already some sense of listening and talking and those conversations being about some type of wish or goal or dream. It's also giving a lot of water vibes in the sense of Pisces. The cups are a creative, sensitive, artistic energy. It could be that he is talking about music or working on music or thinking about music or having conversations with certain people about music and what he wants to do in the future. The fact that he has seven of swords could also be symbolic of BTS. The members tend to get a lot of sevens when I read for them. 

Honestly the first thing that comes to my mind when I look at the hierophant and the clarifiers even on kind of jumping ahead, is you know hierophant can also stand in for certain institutions whether it's a college or government. And the fact that it's being clarified by nine of cups which is that wish fulfillment or dream card or gold, and 10 of sores is an end to a cycle or something that's even a little bit difficult or painful. It would make me think that maybe this is conversations and thoughts about what's going to happen with the music after service. Maybe because it was his birthday, depending on if they stayed where they serve or if they got together with friends and family somewhere else or even if somebody like J-Hope was actually able to visit, they had these types of conversations briefly so that could be on his mind 

Another way to interpret that hierophant stuff could be you know I also see this card as a set of organized beliefs. It doesn't have to be religious or spiritual specifically, it can be just like a creed or you know principles or whatever beliefs you have as an individual. So it could be maybe like an end to a self-defeating belief or almost like if you had the tower card or the devil card I guess. And like some of those thoughts were getting in the way of a goal. It does make me wonder if it feels more like literally as in a real roadblock. Not necessarily a mental roadblock. But as in like yeah if you couldn't do something right now based on legality or procedure or a government body standing in the way. It could also be about conformity I suppose. But this card at least as I'm interpreting it now gives a sense of rigidity. Like a wall. And it's just in the way of some type of dream. It does feel temporary. It's kind of annoying. It feels like an obligation. But let's keep looking 

So page of cups, usually about communication or some type of offer, it could be a romantic offer. You could certainly interpret that from the amount of cups cards here. I don't really see it when I look into the clarification but that doesn't mean that there aren't conversations here happening about emotional commitment to something or someone. 

But I mean another interpretation because of the seven of swords could definitely feel like this person is keeping something hidden from somebody in their life or has a secret or is keeping a secret from someone that they're committed to. But I mean again because BTS is so attached to the number seven this could also simply be okay we know this is about communication, there are seven swords involved, so this could be carrying communication related to seven people. It is interesting that the person is carrying five and then there are two on the ground. So it could be about two people of the seven. It doesn't really matter. My overall impression is like literally people got together and started talking about the future and what BTS was going to do in terms of music lol. That would just be a guess. And if he was just hanging out with other members or hearing from them at this moment then that would make perfect sense right 

I also wonder if literally there was a conversation that happened recently where somebody was talking about a literal dream. Like it wouldn't surprise me if they could do a live, that JK would be like you know I had this dream and I was telling so-and-so the other day or this other member was telling me about a dream they had. Kind of like those conception dreams. It feels like you know even if it wasn't a dream, this person is visualizing something in the future so clearly that it feels like it could have been a dream, because it's being imagined so clearly like a movie. Or I guess like a painting I don't know what you want to say. So it's almost like an omen or prophecy. That's how they might have talked about it. I mean if J-Hope is getting out of the military soon, maybe they talked about his plans and some music ideas, I don't know if they can actually work on things while they are in service. Even in private to release later, so maybe JK might be collabing with J-Hope or was helping him write something. I did use the photo J-Hope put on his Instagram so it wouldn't surprise me if some connection comes through like that 

Having the king of cups too is definitely somebody who is very level-headed in their emotions and very sensitive very calm and cool and collected and could be extremely creative and emotionally mature. I think that some advice was given as well. Either somebody seeking advice about a music project or being given advice. Yeah definitely some type of conversation was had and then that was taken away somewhere like look at the seven of swords and it's almost like okay somebody gave advice and then maybe a person with secretly listening in or is just quietly taking in that advice or that conversation to use in the future or taking note. It just depends because seven of swords typically has a negative connotation but with BTS it's just so hard to tell what these damn seven cards. None of the other cards are negative except a 10 of swords later on. 

and plus you never know what they're doing that needs to be hidden or in secret because spoilers or other things. But some type of conversation was had and something was taken away from it. I guess maybe there's even a little bit of bitterness that happened because he can't work on something right away. Maybe there is some impatience. Which doesn't really match with the cups cards but seven of swords can be bitterness and carrying guilt even. 

And then the back of the deck was knight of cups which is you know slow action or progress being made toward a creative project or something related to love feelings relationships. Maybe there are a lot of new relationships happening, people he's meeting in the military, because it does seem like there are a lot of people around or more interactions and conversations happening. The fool behind it, can be like fun, innocent, adventurous, and pulsive, risk-taking. So there could be a sense of newness to whatever this conversation is. It doesn't feel like an old conversation like hey we're reminiscing about the past and what we used to do. It feels like reinventing. It would be like totally new projects and new music and thinking about new concepts. Really looking forward instead of backward 

Right so clarifications let's tie them and maybe that will help out too. Page of cups is clarified by the king of pentacles. This could be his energy because he has a fair amount of water and pentacles in his chart. It would make me think of a person who literally creates creative communication or somebody who's offering words as a form of commitment or sincerity, there's something very reliable and what is being said or done or produced. 

It does kind of feel a little bit too like an offering of a gift. Like a material gift, something that cost money. It could be a gift that he received. It could be I mean sure it could be like a material gift but it honestly feels like somebody gave him a song. Or somebody giving a song to somebody else as a gift. Because in the king of pentacles I feel like you know this is somebody who can literally create something physical but the thing that was given is a little bit of communication, a little bit of feelings, a little bit of creativity. So a combination would definitely seem like giving somebody your feelings but you happen to make it yourself so yes it feels like giving somebody a song or a really sincere piece of advice as an offering or gift 

To have the knight of pentacles come out to clarify the seven of swords. So the knight of pentacles is that earnest, slow, methodical progress toward something tangible usually. The fact that it's seven of swords could be a couple of different things. Such as slow progress on working on something by yourself, something that's been a bit difficult, or working on it in secret, the fact that it's seven could be that it's tied to a secret or hidden projects being worked on related to BTS. But more it's just a sense of doing some type of work or project but it's being hidden or it's not being revealed yet. I think. I might think something different once I read the other two cards because another negative option would be some type of communication about the work that they do being talked about but related to gossip or secrets. I'm not really getting anything negative from it so let's just keep it in the back of our minds 

The king of cups is clarified by 10 of pentacles. It's almost like the first king with the page of cups feeling. But somebody who is very stable emotionally or it's talking about emotional health because 10 of pentacles can be about physical health. So it's like somebody gave advice to somebody that's very coming from a place of being extremely emotionally mature or is trying to advise somebody on how to get to that place of feeling more solid emotionally 

Again it could also be related to making money off of creativity. Being not productive but someone who definitely makes money off of creative ventures, and not just that you can tell it's a creative field that involves communication and feelings which just brings it back to music for me 

The final card the hierophant, this is 10 of swords and nine of cups. I talked about this and I just think there's a cycle that will come to an end, it could be a belief, or it could even be that okay again I'm getting that somebody gave him advice or I mean he could be the one giving advice but I just get the sense somebody received advice right and it helped to end worries about something related to a future goal 

I'm still kind of confused about the seven of swords so I'm going to clarify again. You know this is the Taurus card it can also be related to financial things or domestic things. But I think they're all tied into one The idea of people who work in a creative industry that is also run by like money and business methods. And the people who are involved in that industry. I don't think this is something that usually comes up when you are serving or even with his cards since he's been serving so it definitely feels triggered by somebody that he was talking to recently. Whether that is J-Hope or another member or anybody else in the industry that he could have spoken with about a project. I'm not getting the sense that it's Jimin.

We know that they're serving together but I'm not really getting that they had this intense conversation about it maybe he was a part of it but I feel like somebody older came in and spoke to him and gave him hope. And the only person that makes sense to me would be j-hope if he was there because he's so close to the end of his service that he would be talking about the goals and things he wants to do and also giving advice to them about what it's going to be like for the next 9 months or whatever you know to get through it. And I think that conversation gave JK and anybody else that would have been there some hope because maybe they had some worries. So it feels like a very hopeful conversation. 

A very intellectual, mature, productive, logical, realistic conversation. Like as if J-Hope let's just say as an example he was able to visit them and hang out then just a voice of grounding and caring and empathizing but still a very mature I've been there and done that and this is how you deal with it. 

I could probably literally flip a card and ask you know who was hanging around and if the star card comes out we can all piss ourselves

Lol I s*** you not I'll show you 

Yes you could probably say something like somebody he's really close to oh probably an Aquarius oh somebody he works and collaborates with lol 

The star card is also affiliated with dreams and hopes and communication. So again we know that it's somebody that he has a close connection to and they were talking about something that they want to build a future goal etc 

Well if the cards are going to be super accurate today then I'm going to ask for another clarification card on the seven of swords. Also if this were to be about a romantic relationship which how would he even have time but it definitely about further building an intimate relationship together, and talking about their plans for the future. You could definitely read it that way, I'm interpreting it as work based on the other cards but there's also a lot of room for feelings and romance. But I just see this more as a conversation about people's dreams and what they can build for the future related to creative action and business 

But I guess you could also be talking about other relationships in the life related to that and intertwined into all of that as well and that would account for the secrets. You know stuff that we don't really need to know about because it's related to their personal lives 

I clarified the seven of swords and got 10 of swords and back of deck returned to Knight of cups and the fool

That's interesting because well we saw the ten of swords before so there is something difficult that is taking a while to cycle out and of course this can be military service 

I mean it's just a weird combination of things so it could also be something that somebody has been working on for a long time or working through for a long time, there's a sense of guilt or bitterness, it seems to be connected to the hierophant issues as well since we saw the ten of swords there too. 

I want to say I'm feeling like a four of pentacles vibe like holding on to something but that's not quite right. 

If I had to take a guess it just feels like a sigh of relief because this feels like something somebody was holding on to that was kind of eating them up on the inside or worrying them and it was impeding progress toward something. That or like somebody was making slow progress and it was painful but the reason why it was slow progress feels more like there are exterior things happening. Like those blocks. Like paperwork or legalities. But I guess I just don't know what it is because maybe it's really specific 

It doesn't feel like an emotional hang up like an eight of swords. It feels like a frustration. Like you know if you go to the DMV in the US and they want 80 million different documentation things to get through this. There's a sense of obligation and procedure here. But I think that was a topic of a conversation and somebody with mature experienced advice came in and said well this is how you deal with it or you just have to get through this and then you can focus on this but this is just something you have to do for now. 

It's funny because I keep getting these moments of the feeling and want to describe a situation or example. But I just hear JK sighing and like this keeps coming up and it's getting in the way of this. But it's not something long like the entirety of service it's something specific. Like I keep trying to apply for this thing but then they come back and they say on top of that I need to submit this other thing. So it's like weird but this person is very persistent. He's not giving up on it because it's difficult. It's just annoying 

It could even be something as simple as let's say you're working on a project, and you mostly know what you're doing with it but then you keep getting caught on one part of it. Say you're recording a song. And there's this one part of the song and you just can't get your voice right or you just can't get the right music together at that part. And you keep going back to it like day in and day out to try to fix it. Almost you know what it feels like lol this is exactly what I'm feeling like when you edit a video. It's a very tedious experience where you have to like stop and redo and look at it and then go over this 

I wonder if that's maybe the creative gift that's being given. Like somebody is editing a video. And then somebody gave advice on how to edit that video or they're talking through something like that. I can't think of anything else that would be as frustrating but you just have to like go through the process 

So I guess if I had to take a random guess anything related back to somebody creating a creative gift for somebody. It would be an edited video of something lol whether it's a music video or a travel video but or like GCF style things. So yeah it feels like a video project somebody's working on together. Could it be a song sure? But there's a level of technology involved. That of course could be about recording song but to me I'm really strongly feeling editing a video frustration. I used to edit AMVs when I was really young so I remember what that was like or even trying to put together social media videos. I it's interesting that the star comes out I'm just telling you. There could be something happening now in Aquarius but it makes me wonder if related to the edited video it's J-Hope. Although maybe it's being cheeky and like well you used a photo from jhopes Instagram 

It could even be that that little picture is going to be part of a video or was part of a video that somebody edited. For example hear me out whether it was J-Hope or Jimin because we know at least two of those people were there or were aware of what was going on for JK's birthday. Somebody edited a video and sent it to j Hope and then he kind of took that clip out of it. I'm just saying 

If it is something that's not personal and actually coming out, the only timing here that I see is related to next April or early May during taurus season. That timing came out twice, so did Aquarius. Because it's the star and I relate that back to online communication this could be another travel log or travel situation 

Maybe J-Hope was like I also want something like are you sure. It seems like when the members come out of military service they're going to produce their own show type content 

So maybe they shared advice on how that works. So my prediction would be something like maybe something related to J-Hope in terms of creative content will come out around Aquarius to Taurus season give or take. It would likely be a music video or a vlog. And JK might have given advice on editing or just a conversation that they had. 

I am very positive that this was J-Hope but I could be biased because I know he posted. But the two of cups and this three of pentacles together that came out with the star. There is such affection here that it's just like gross lol 

This is exactly how I would imagine any of the younger members to feel about J-Hope. It's just like complete admiration and trusts and optimism even but like very business-like. I'm not surprised because this is also how I feel about J-Hope 

So overall yeah I mean I think if he talked to or met with any of the members over his birthday, they had a pretty intense or serious or productive conversation about an upcoming project related to music and or editing a video or a travel series or whatever. It feels very focused. Sometimes I get his cards and he's all like play play let's have a good time and live in the moment but this feels very focused on work and producing something that also has a creative element. There was some advice exchanged in the conversation, very level-headed, very experienced in this type of thing. There's also a feeling of newness as in if it's a music video or an album there's a really interesting and modern concept which is something I also associate with J-Hope. Like his last album to me had music I had never even heard of so he's very innovative in the sounds that he comes up with or the looks so I am pretty sure this would be a project that he's working on. I don't think it's possible for him to collab on a song with JK by then but that doesn't mean that JK didn't help. I don't know if he can even provide his voice for songs in the background but he definitely helped with something in relation to that. Like describing how something should be song or helping with lyrics 

You might find that the project could relate to words like dream or something about the future, being innovative, how something new is being tried, like something completely different 

Very serious birthday topics. Maybe they got drunk afterward but mostly it just feels like people talking shop 

And I imagine if they did talk about work in projects like that that JK would have gotten excited and inspired and thought about his own ideas for a while but mostly overall this just seems to describe a conversation and interaction specifically with in my mind it's absolutely jhope lol 

But could it be somebody else? Sure. Could it not be about J-Hope at all and be about a romantic relationship. That's a possibility but when I look at the three of pentacles and all these pentacles I am relating it more to work relationships very close work relationships. I mean sure you can interpret three of pentacles as building a romantic relationship with somebody like you talk about living together or something. That doesn't really feel like a conversation to be had at this moment in time but sure. I'm not saying that. To me it's sensitive emotionally mature advice that probably relates to creative projects and how to accomplish them. 

The only thing that comes to mind in terms of past projects is on. I know the members seem to really gravitate toward that song and so did fans. And I'm not saying on is particularly innovative or something anybody is trying to recreate but I feel like in that conversation somebody could have gone oh you mean like on. 

That could mean that the project particularly relates to dancing. 

I guess it could even be related to the past where I think Jhope's series came out and he was with that other dancer and they talked. I don't remember when that came out. But anyway so I am getting flashes of a creative project that requires a lot of editing and dancing elements and innovation, maybe colors as well especially blues pinks greens yellows. Like graffiti, fashion 

Anyway that's all I got. If I have my cards, I will try to do a Jimin birthday reading but… lol.

I'll actually be in Busan that day heh

[meimi-haneoka]

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 73: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Welcome back everyone! We're here once again for another chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card, one more that's guiding us towards the grand finale! In this chapter we finally get more things coming full circle, one in particular that I've seen many wondering about (and also many ready to dismiss as a plot hole 😅give them time, people, give them time). To be honest, I needed some time to brainstorm and ponder if I had understood certain parts of this chapter correctly 😅, since the content is quite complex, and each language decided to translate certain pivotal parts in different ways, adding to the confusion (because there doesn't seem to be a version everyone is agreeing on). In one specific case, that's normal (at the very end of the chapter) because the lack in the Japanese text of specific words (subject) to lead the interpretation in one direction or the other allows to get the translation in either way (as we'll see ahead). In other cases, it's just translation mistakes and omissions that make things a bit confusing. We also have to consider that it might totally be normal if we don't seem to get a clear, well connected answer in this chapter, because maybe the rest of the puzzle pieces will be in the following one: in this case we don't have to fret and just have faith that everything will be connected properly and be answered in due time. It's normal, this is a serialization, we should always look at the big picture and not at the single chapters, because in the future the whole story divided in volumes readily available will be all that the future readers will get. The "confusion" that we feel as lasting for a month or more, for future readers will last only some minutes, maybe one hour, the time needed to get to read the right chapter where everything gets solved. Sorry for this long introduction but in light of this chapter that made me sit down and reconsider multiple times how I understood things, I felt like it was worth mentioning it even here. Maybe, who knows, that will help sedate someone's frustrations. Alright, before diving into the chapter, as usual, the gif of the month! This time it's dedicated to Sakura 😂

Let's see what happened this month and if there are translation differences to point out! (spoiler, there are)

The Color Page

AAAAATTTT LAAAASTTTT!! FINALLY! After appearing with her back facing us, and then on the background with her eyes closed, we finally have a nice close up of our dear Lilie! With her eyes open!!! 😆 Predictable as it may sound, her eyes are indeed blue like her daughter! But....wait a second....her hair color changed or what??? 😂

After being consistently drawn with a mix of blonde and grey/dark blonde color for the darker parts of her hair, this time around we have a more uniform coloring that's veering more towards taupe! If I have to be honest, this color looks more similar to the shade they chose for Akiho in the anime! But....I like the ash blonde better ☹️ also it bothers me quite a lot that Mokona sensei changed the color at the end of the manga, after consistently drawing her blonde for 2 color pages, first because it's hard to get used to (at first glance my first thought was "WHO'S THIS? O_O), and then because my fanart is incorrect now 😂 But as you know, I always have to find the positive side to everything so I have to say that, while it'll take a while for me to get used to this change (should we consider it a permanent change or sensei just ran out of yellow copic?? 😂 *winks at her friends on a certain discord server*), I also appreciate it because it helps differentiating Lilie from her daughter even better 😊 especially considering they both have blue eyes now. They really would've looked like one another's clone (UGH O_O) if they kept it like that.... (Unless they want to change AGAIN Akiho's hair color too but then I'll riot). Lilie appears here in all her glory and beauty, with a heavily decorated dress as per CLAMP's tradition, she looks like a goddess 🥹 The color scheme is similar to that of her clan robe: white-light blue-golden. And no wings. Maybe this is from a time when she was still alive (she's got wings in the double spread with Nadeshiko). Sooo finally the mystery of the color of her eyes is solved 😆 (I wonder why they dragged it so long?) The JP text of the color page is simply the last thing she said to Sakura in last chapter before disappearing together with the dream: "I believe...in the two Alice". We also get a big text informing everyone of the decision to produce a sequel to the Clear Card anime! A bit late, but the news finally came for the magazine readers too! 😊

You're Unique

The chapter starts with Sakura going back home from school, in the afternoon of the same day we left her off in chapter 72. Kero and Suppi hear her from her room (are those Nintendo Switch Lite consoles? 😂) and they notice how she goes straight to Akiho's room today, without passing by her own room to drop her stuff first. From Kero and Suppi's words it's easy to infer that Sakura got a very close relationship with Akiho, and she often goes to talk to her after school. It's understandable, after all, they're convinced they have spent many years of their lives apart, and it's like they're really starting to know one another only now, so there's a special attachment between them. Attachment which Kero and Suppi don't miss to comment on, reiterating the "sister complex" comment that's honestly become the recurring joke of this series 😆 This also serves as an opportunity for Kero to comment on Touya, another Kinomoto sibling "plagued" with sister complex. 😆 Our elusive big brother seems to be staying at Yukito's today, and that's really not a weird thing in itself, but the fact that we couldn't see him ever since the forbidden spell was activated and we had the time skip, to see his reaction and whether he noticed something or not, is certainly suspicious. Suppi comments that even Nakuru is still staying at Yukito's home, and argues that it should be really time for them to go back home in England (he's had enough, poor Suppi 😂). Kero tells him that they can always come back as tourists in the future, and he will be their guide - Suppi agrees on one condition: that next time he must take them to a place where he doesn't need to pretend to be a plushie anymore 😆 So this apparently useless comedy skit actually manages to give us two interesting info: that Touya is at Yukito's place, apparently still eluding us (and Akiho??), but also that the forbidden spell didn't change the fact that Nakuru and Suppi came in Tomoeda, it's just that the memory change made them believe they simply came for tourism (of course, without Sakura's powers going berserk and failing to "feed" her creatures correctly, there wouldn't be any other need for them to come). In the meantime, Sakura knocks on Akiho's door and she goes inside, school bag and coat still in her arms. She asks Akiho if she came back early, and she confirms that today there wasn't any choir practice (so confirming also that Akiho is still part of the choir at school - told you, everything is still the same as before!). As soon as she enters, Sakura can't help but point out aloud how this room's plan is exactly the same as hers, but you can tell right away this is Akiho's room: it filled my heart with joy to see how the forbidden spell didn't change anything of Akiho's interests, she's still very much in love with books and got a tall bookcase full of them, and....my heart literally jumped when I saw a moon-shaped lamp on her nightstand!! CLAMP, are you toying with my heart? 😭🥹 Sakura remarks that despite everyone telling them they look very much alike, Akiho is actually her own distinct person.

Thank you, Ohkawa-sensei, for putting these words in Sakura's mouth. Thank you for clarifying to the whole fandom (who worried and in some cases complained about this so much) that no matter how much these two are told by other people how similar they are, each of them still retains their own unique personality, their hobbies, their interests, their dreams. You can really feel that their vibe is different. Not even magic can change that. No two human beings are the same, CLAMP was very adamant on that concept even when they talked about clones in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles. This is because our soul is unique across the universe(s). And these two are no exception. I always found so wholesome how none of them tries to "imitate" or "wish to have" something the other has. There's no need for jealousy. This is particularly true for Akiho whom, before the forbidden magic was activated, had experienced so much pain in her past and wasn't blessed with many things Sakura had instead. We haven't caught her envying Sakura, not even once, but actually admiring (it's different!) her friend for being able to do the things she didn't think she was capable of doing (remember her comment "Being able to do things by yourself without depending on others is amazing" ?), taking inspiration and even being brave enough to ask for help to improve in those aspects. That's not imitating, that's taking inspiration and strength from your loved ones to become a better person. This crucial theme will be reiterated in just a few pages.

The Pocket Watch

Akiho replies that the same goes for Sakura, she's also unique (JP, lit.: "There's just one Sakura-san in the world!") (I agree very much!) and Sakura bashfully laughs at that, when something catches her eye......a pocket watch, resting on a handkerchief on Akiho's desk, surrounded by certain tools. Kaito's pocket watch. The watch case is still broken, but the glass seem to have been repaired. So, for those who thought that the watch had been inside Akiho due to the exchange with the artifact book, this actually clarifies the doubt at once, and I think it makes perfectly sense. A book inside Akiho -> a book inside Kaito, and a pocket watch in Kaito's hands -> a pocket watch in Akiho's hands. The exchange is even. Sakura seems surprised at the sight of it, and it's apparent it's the first time she sees it ever since Akiho came living with them. Akiho explains that she found the watch back at Masaki's home, and no one knew how old this watch was or whom it belonged to. And yet, it seems Akiho had the urge to have it repaired, she says they tried to bring it to many watch repair shops to make it work again, without any success.

Sakura asks Akiho if she's actually trying to repair it herself (since the tools on the desk seem to suggest she'd been trying to do so), and Akiho replies something that made my heart melt at once:

Akiho, JP: "I don't know why, but the moment I met (this watch), I thought I had to make it work again" Akiho, JP: "Because I had the feeling it was very, very important (to me)"

Go on, CLAMP, keep stabbing my heart! 😭Gaaaah!! OF COURSE! Of course she would be getting that feeling!! Whatever function that watch will have in the finale, it's always been strictly correlated to Kaito, it seems there's a deep connection to him as the weaker he got, the more damage the watch took (randomly breaking on its own at different points of the story). It's as if Kaito literally left a part of him with her, consciously or not. And Akiho saying that is a testament to the strong bond between those two. A bond that not even a powerful, forbidden magic can erase. She might not remember now, but as soon as she found that "part of Kaito", her instinct told her to try to have it repaired at all costs, and in front of the failures of normal watch repair shops, she realized she had to try to make it work on her own. I'd like to think that it's because deep down she felt she was the only one capable to (this is actually what the French translation says, and although it's technically incorrect, it's a nice way to put it).

Akiho excuses herself for saying something weird (she didn't change even in that!), but as usual Sakura is super supportive of her and she tells her that she's absolutely sure she'll manage to make it work again. Foretelling powers, Sakura? 😏😆😆😆 This gives so much courage to Akiho, of course. And taking the chance of "weird talks", Sakura decides it's time for another kind of strange talk.....she finally decides to tell everything to Akiho about her magic and what happened in the years they spent apart, just like she announced in chapter 71!! We skip directly all the details we know all too well and get directly to Akiho's reaction, which is speechless at first (with Sakura fussing and apologizing that she blurted it all out on her and overwhelmed her 😂) but then excitedly thanks her sister for telling her about this, she's delighted because it feels just like a story coming out of one of the books she usually reads, and actually wants to hear more (complete with her usual 'excited flowers' like I usually call them 😂)!! Aaaah, it was so nice to see her reaction because it was exactly what I've been expecting from her. Akiho adds something really, really important: Akiho, JP: I just thought, 'We're twins, and yet so different, and that makes me so happy'. Akiho, JP: I can't use magic, but... If there's something you can't do and I happen to be good at it, then I might be able to help you out, precisely because we're different. The wording the ENG version uses is also very good, I liked how they specified (even if not present in the original text) "It's good we're different". Because it's very important.

And then, in the very next panel, a surprise: Akiho (involuntarily) quotes her own young mother Lilie in chapter 72, expressing herself with the same words, gesture and all, saying "It's what I can do...and what I can't...that makes me who I am". As you can see above, Akiho and Lilie are almost identical, save for Akiho's cowlick and the length of the hair. Little trivia: the line both girls are saying uses the very same words, except for the pronoun 私 / わたし, which is assigned appropriately basing on how it's usually written when the two characters are speaking - 私 for Lilie, and わたし for Akiho. I absolutely loved this line in last chapter and I felt it had even more significance now, coming from Akiho's mouth, in fact it's so important that it's Akiho speaking in this whole scene (and not Sakura). Because ever since she appeared in chapter 7, she's been considered as someone very similar to Sakura, and sometimes perceived by the readers as someone who wanted to steal her spot, her friends, her capabilities, long story short, to steal her identity. But nothing could be farther from the truth. You can be told you're similar to someone else how much you want, but you'll always going to be your own person in the end. Even freaking twins aren't the same person, after all. Each one of us is unique, with our qualities, good sides, bad sides, peculiarities, quirks, personal baggage, no one can take our place in the world. Our identity is the most precious thing we have and it's important we try to do our best to know ourselves the best that we can (heard that, Kaito???), so we don't end up doing just that, trying to live someone else's life, which is always going to be a lie anyway. As I was saying before, Akiho never tried to live Sakura's life and is well aware of her qualities and limits, and is accepting that.

The Magic I've been Preparing

Luckily, this involuntary reenactment of Lilie's scene of last chaper gives the spark to Sakura to remember she had heard those same words before. "The same words...?" "And the same feelings (they gave to me)". And right after that, Sakura also remembers that she has to find the important magic she had been preparing. Akiho says that if this is about magic, she probably won't be able to see it, but Sakura answers that she can't see it either, and wonders why....so, what to do? Akiho thinks. She looks at her books. And they give her an idea. She tells Sakura that she's read a book once where a magician hid his familiar from other magicians so they couldn't find it, and this familiar would show itself only when its magician called its name. Sakura starts having the realization this could be the right track. And here we have our first real translation difference of this chapter, although not particularly serious like the ones that will follow: Akiho, ENG: I'm sure to you, this magic is very important...but to me it'd be like....something out of a book.

Akiho, JP: I'm sure this is a very important magic to you...just like a book would be for me.

As you can see, the meaning is different, quite the opposite actually. Akiho isn't dismissing Sakura's magic as something like a fictional story out of a book, but actually she's telling her she understands that this magic must be very important to her, just like books are to Akiho. And "books" is all Sakura needs to hear to get more recollections of something she heard before, this time even from the facts of Clockland itself! (This is huge! Because it's coming from their life before the forbidden magic was activated! She's defeating the magic that's trying to keep her memories changed, she is JUST THAT AMAZING OKAY) "Books are people's memories...they're RECORDS"

See why it was so important to keep the word "records" in the past chapter, whenever the word 記録 came up in the Japanese text? Because 記録 is also the kanji spelling of a Clear Card we were all waiting to see, in fact....Sakura utters "RECORD"!

The Record Card appears out of nowhere, responding to the call, surprising the two girls when it starts displaying a recorded scene: from what we can see in the blurry "screen" (we can see the couch and the door of Syaoran's living room), this really looks like a scene (that we didn't see depicted in the manga) coming straight after Sakura captured the Dreaming Card and confessed to Syaoran about her recurring dreams in chapter 46. In that occasion, Sakura used the Record Card to show him what she saw, but apparently after that Syaoran proposed to keep the Record Card perpetually turned on to record whatever happened, since Sakura sometimes created Cards without having knowledge of how she did it, and couldn't shake the feeling that someone was making her forget things. In this way, they would've been able to check what happened in case they were made to forget again. From the "video", we see Sakura apologizing to Record and asking to the Card to stay hidden till she would've called the Card's name again. Which is exactly what happened now. Sakura is surprised because she understands that this is a new Card that she's been making on her own. But then, the "video" changes to another scene, that happened later on the story and we probably remember well because it often comes up in the fandom's questions about the unresolved mysteries of this story: the scene of chapter 59, when Momo visited the Kinomoto home, unbeknownst to Kaito. Finally we get to see what happened afterwards.

Momo knows the Record Card is present in the room, so she asks to the Card to be recorded, and addresses Sakura directly. Much to both Sakura and Akiho's surprise, she introduces herself once again as Momo, guardian of a "certain book", telling Sakura that this isn't the first time she meets her in this form, but since time had been rewound, she must have forgotten about it.

With a very painful expression (that made my heart squeeze, I'm weak against Momo's suffering), Momo says that she knows what's going to happen, and she cannot stop it. She also explains why, indirectly addressing other questions from the fandom as to why she never interfered more, if she didn't want Kaito to go on with his plan:

Momo, JP: A guardian cannot show bias towards "white" or "black". We must always stay impartial. So I cannot tell you, nor Akiho, about the core of this matter.

The ENG version is also good, but they translated "white" as "light" and "black" as "darkness" and while I can see why they did that and it could also work well, it ends up hiding the reference to her personal color scheme: on her outfit, but also in the Clockland world that she created on Kaito's request. Everything is black and white. An indication that she's always, constantly reminded of her duty as an impartial guardian, to never lean towards one or the other side (this is something that even Kaito reminded her of precisely in Clockland, becoming irritated that she was giving "hints" to Sakura). And therefore, she's got her hands more tied than ever, unable to tell anything not only to Sakura, but to Akiho too. How many problems we could've avoided if she was able to tell Akiho the truth about this? This is also probably the reason why she had to hide from her and take the guise of a bunny plushie: she needed to protect her, but at the same time she couldn't interact with her. It would've probably been impossible to stay neutral, with Akiho. If Momo's situation wasn't already unfortunate to begin with, having a contract with a boy she ended up caring about, who's literally risked his life to protect his most important person, we also get told to what extent she wasn't allowed to interfere, and get a glimpse of how painful that must be. To be honest, when this will be over, I really hope the Time Book gets destroyed and Momo freed from her duty over it, so she can finally have a normal life, free to interact with her beloved kids as much as she wants.

"The Boy"

Akiho hears Momo calling her name, though she doesn't seem to have any recollection of her beloved plushie (a bit sad for me). It's kinda "ironic" that she gets to "meet" the true form of the one creature who stayed by her side the most in her "old life", and she doesn't even realize it, nor remembers about who this creature is. How could she, her memories not only have been messed up with, but she also just knew her as a plushie, after all!

Momo shows that she isn't stupid. She says that she knows "the boy" is hiding something concerning the "forbidden magic" he wants to activate, but she's sure he won't ever tell her anything about it... So Momo knew Kaito was lying about something (the exchange of the two artifacts), but still wouldn't have had any way to know exactly the details of it.

Upon hearing the word "the boy", Akiho literally lights up, wondering "...The boy?". Her soul responds to it, as if knowing exactly whom Momo is talking about (loved it!! this is the kind of reactions I was waiting for, from her! ❤️). As usual, Kaito gets called "the boy", and when I was checking the Spanish translation I was a bit sad to see that they removed any reference to that word, making Akiho ask "who?" instead. Of course Momo can't mention his name, not even his fake one, because she's bound by a contract.

Momo explains that once the forbidden spell will get activated, the Record Card would disappear too (just like the other Clear Cards).

And here we have one of the biggest translation mistakes of this chapter, of course when there's a major scene!! Momo slowly removes her crown, and with magic she brings it back to its original state: the ring Lilie gave to her long time ago.

Remember? Lilie said she was going to make a request to Momo, and we saw a flashback of her removing the ring her fiancé gave her (a ring enchanted with a protection spell) to put it on the ear of Momo's plushie form. While Momo shrinks it back to its ring form, she says:

Momo, ENG: So that he'll never find you...and so that you'll never go away, no matter what happens...I'm going to cast a spell.

Momo, JP: So, in order to never let him find it (note: the Record Card), and so that it'll stay (note: survive even after the forbidden magic) no matter what happens...I'm going to cast a spell.

As you can see, in the ENG version Momo is saying "you", as if she's talking directly to Sakura, and so, as if she were going to cast a spell to hide her (?) from Kaito, and so that she'll never go away (??). Honestly, you can see by yourself that it doesn't make sense. Maybe with that "you" she was talking directly to the Record Card, in the translator's head? Well, very counterintuitive to translate it like that, of course it's gonna cause confusion because here Momo is addressing Sakura directly. No, the correct interpretation is that Momo is talking about the Record Card, while explaining to Sakura what she's about to do.

And, unfortunately, I'm not done complaining about this month's translation yet (god, they were doing so okay in the first part!).

Momo, ENG: I have held what I need to cast it...since long before I entered into my contract...with the boy.

Momo, JP: And I've already received the price needed to do that, long before I entered into my contract with that boy.

The ENG translation makes it sound like the ring Record is showing was somehow necessary to Momo in order to cast the spell. It isn't exactly like that. The ring was seemingly THE PRICE Lilie paid in advance, in order to make a wish to Momo and have it granted.

Yes, exactly like the customers do with Yuuko. But also what Yukito had to do to obtain the powers from the divinity of the Tsukimine Shrine. Basically it's safe to say that if you have a wish in any CLAMP series, you'll always have to pay something of equal value in exchange. And removing the word price from here, wording it in that misleading way, is honestly really annoying. We're reading a CLAMP manga, we love to see keywords and references to common CLAMP tropes and thematics present in other works too, when they've been put there on purpose by CLAMP. Can you please keep them, K-USA?? Note that here, we shouldn't give 100% for granted that the ring was exactly the price Lilie paid. It could be that, but also something related to the ring, something not physical. Like the fact that Lilie remained unprotected after giving the ring away (for a further purpose in the future). Some people gave away their time, freedom, luck as a price, in other works. Maybe it's something along those lines, and the ring gets to be passed over to those who need it the most now. Or maybe it was really the ring all along, I'm just pointing out that there are multiple options here to take into consideration.

We see Momo holding the ring between two fingers, and on the other side of the screen, Sakura's hand takes the same pose, with some "magic sparkles" around it: did Momo indeed pass the ring to her, magically? It's pretty unclear but it's legit to imagine so. Momo continues saying that there are other Cards that haven't disappeared yet (beware, the Spanish version here seems to be implying that ALL of Sakura's Clear Cards haven't disappeared, but from how it's phrased that's not what the JP text is saying here, and the ENG translation is actually right - wtf is happening, hahahah), and they're waiting for Sakura to call them. Yes, just like she did with Record. Then, Momo finally tells her "(please,) Remember" (and not "find them" like in the ENG version!), and Record turns into a magic crystal, the same that appeared everytime Sakura captured a Clear Card, magically going through Sakura's chest. Yes. Should we say "stabbing" her? 😂😂Good lord was this imagery really necessary?? Moreover, people are also being reminded of how the feathers used to enter Sakura's body in Tsubasa exactly like this 😂😂😂it's a continuous reference-fest, with Tsubasa.... Sooo, as you have guessed, Sakura starts recovering all the memories of her life before the forbidden magic was activated: in this beautiful display of countless film strips we can see many scenes coming from the most disparate chapters, mostly related to Sakura (shots from the Two Alice play are included, but NOT futher than that, so I don't know what's the situation for what concerns what happened in Clockland). We can see many characters in those strips, Momo included (so she recovered also her memories that were erased by the time rewindings - I knew she would!! ) but....there's still one major absentee in those memories: Kaito.

And yet. Sakura opens her eyes, after processing all the memories that came back to her. And her eyes are filled with tears, tears and extreme sadness. Akiho, of course, gets immediately anxious when she sees her like that. Sakura runs to the one whom she probably knows by now is not really her sister, to hug her tight. This is a scene that's very reminiscent of when she hugged Akiho in chapter 35 after witnessing Akiho's past on her skin. She didn't know how or why, but her intuition and empathy told her that she had witnessed something related to Akiho. And that's exactly what's happening here too.

I'm not sure if Sakura saw Kaito, in those memories (while not being shown to us). But I'm fairly sure that what's making her cry, thanks to her awesome intuition and empathy, is the blind awareness that they lost someone along the way. Someone very, very important to Akiho, hence why she runs to hug her tight. And that can't help but breaking Sakura's heart too, because she loves Akiho and she would never want to see her "sister" suffer a loss of that magnitude. She knows what it feels like, she had to scold Syaoran before for that same risk. Therefore, with one of the most determined faces I've ever seen her making, she utters:

Sakura, JP: Let's get it back. The thing/the person you didn't want to lose.

There's a lot to say about this last line of the chapter. First of all, the interpretation: the international translations have interpreted in different ways this line, because there isn't a subject or a clear specification of what they're talking about. Some translations made Sakura say something like "I've got to take back what we should've never have lost", like the ENG and BR-PT versions did, making Kaito's disappearance her matter too... Some others decided to translate in a way that's more personal to Akiho, like "Let's get back what you never wanted to lose", like the FR and ESP did. This is possible because this line uses the word もの, which can both mean "thing" but also the hiragana reading of 者, "person" (as usual, a clever way from Ohkawa to not disclose who she's talking about yet, even though we all know). At the same time, it also doesn't specify who is the subject of the verb "didn't want to lose": it could be Akiho, or Sakura and Akiho together, just as each translation decided to infer. Therefore I'm not inclined to indicate one or the other as the correct one, though I have to say that the idea of Sakura making it a personal matter too despite knowing Kaito very little, just because she's that much empathetic, kind and genuine, is quite endearing. Kaito made Akiho feel loved, the happiest, and that alone is enough for Sakura to put up her warrior queen face (seriously, it's so heartbreaking but also beautiful) and declare war to whatever is keeping him away from them, trying to get him back. Ohkawa did say it, in one of the last Twitter Spaces where she talked about the upcoming events of the finale: "Sakura will take care of it in her own way". One last thing, this line is also a reference to what Touya told Sakura in chapter 58, that night when he prepared the honey milk to her, after his sister asked him "What do you do when you don't know what's true and what's not?" and he told her...."I choose what I don't want to loose".

And that's exactly what Sakura is doing right now. We knew this advice sooner or later would've come useful. Sakura chose to bring back what they shouldn't lose. A precious existence that deserves a second chance. Sakura made her choice. She's on board with this. Will Akiho make the same choice? (don't you dare, it's a rhetoric question!! 😂)

Surprisingly enough, for this chapter we have an editorial text in vertical, on the right side of the last page, which translates to: "A wish entrusted from the past, (what will) Sakura (do)...?"

Aaaaand here we are, we reached the end of the chapter. 31 pages...we're back to longer chapters, as expected from those very close to the grand finale! We're currently 79 pages in for volume 15. It is interesting to note that, as I'm writing this post, no notice of "2 chapters to the end" or anything like that was printed on the Japanese color page (but there still could be something in the usual color ads page - I'd need to check the actual Nakayoshi magazine for that). Aside from the things I have already mentioned in the post above, I have to say I really loved to see Sakura and Akiho collaborating (and so immediately after Sakura revealed everything connected to magic to her sister!), effectively putting at work Akiho's extensive knowledge thanks to all the books she reads! Her suggestion of "calling" the magic Sakura was looking for, because it was hiding, was super useful and put into practice something she just had mentioned a few pages before: if you need me for something I happen to be good at, I'll always help you. That's what's good in us being different. Talking with an user on a Discord server, it was mentioned something that I personally really agree with and I would like to talk more extensively in a separate post (maybe someone can send an ask about it so I have the excuse? 😂), which is the fact that in this chapter Sakura talked honestly and clearly with an open heart to Akiho, trusting her reaction to be strong and positive enough, and that lead to a quick resolution of an immediate problem they had, as opposed to the other characters of the cast (Syaoran, Eriol, Kaito etc) who did things on their own, hiding - and even lying in some cases - to protect their loved ones, leading to unforeseen or terrible consequences (Kaito is the extreme example). I think there's definitely a fil rouge here connecting these situations.

Well, this post unfortunately already turned too long so I guess I'll have to stop here, but I'll be glad to answer to asks, if you want to discuss something else (or get more clarifications!). If you found this post useful, if it helped you clarifying some things, please share it - I'm always told of people being so confused by this finale and if I can help in any way I'd be only happy about that, but my posts need to reach those people first.

Chapter 74 is slated to be released on May 31st on CLAMP's Youtube channel (digital), and on June 2nd on Nakayoshi (digital and paper). The next Nakayoshi magazine will come with Sakura on the cover, the chapter being at the very beginning of the magazine (so it's probably going to be a double color page) and even a furoku - a pretty SyaoSaku foldable fan! I'm not sure how things will be with the release of the new K-Manga app, so for now I'm not gonna include it here.

See you next time!!

[soulsisterif]

Progress Update 1/11/2024

So, here we are once again.

• Right now I'm mostly expanding the scenes with flavour text, particularly the options to choose your MC's hobbies, as they felt a little too brief when I read through them as a player.

• I'm going to add an option to have Joanna tag along with you after you first meet her if you so choose. This action will have consequences *insert Life is Strange butterfly*

• I'm spending quite some time doing research because I really want to have a character who is hard of hearing or has some degree of hearing loss. My intention and first option was to give you a choice for that character to be your MC. While challenging, it could make for a very interesting route. It would also mean I could depict the use of sign language at some point but the thing is I only know a little (very little) American Sign Language and (also very little) Spanish Sign Language (LSE). While I'm Spanish, I think the best course of action would be to use ASL instead of LSE, because when I need to go and look some things up there are infinitely more ASL resources out there. Believe me, I know. I wanted to give you guys the option to headcannon your MC's nationality, but I'm afraid if you choose the hearing loss option you'll have to bear with me and just pretend you're using your country of choice's sign language. Sorrys.

The other option would be to add a new RO who has hearing loss. That would make my life a little simpler because it wouldn't demand as much coding. After all, for an MC, there are certain, already written scenes that would need branching/flavour text, but a new RO would "just" need a new route. I'd already considered adding a bombshell later on, anyway. It would also mean that this is a problem for Future Me, which Present Me appreciates.

I'd like your opinion on this so I'll probably make a poll.

• If you've seen the previous post, you know I finally decided what the first game of the show will be, now it's just a matter of thinking about whether to make it happen before or after the first dates. Common sense tells me it should be; game, then dates. But having the date first could give you a chance to learn some of the answers and not go in so blind. Choices, choices...

In theory, Chapter One will end once you receive the confirmation that you've been selected as a contestant, so the game will feature in Chapter Two. If you're wondering why I'm spending time on it already when I haven't even managed to release Chapter One, well... I needed a break from testing the game and writing different scenes depending on personality LMAO

• You'll be notified when a triller is added to your feed.

• You'll have the option of hooking up with Joanna on Day One if you play your cards right.

[julyourwitch]

~ 𝕎𝕖𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕪 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕪 𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘 ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My name is Agathi but you can call me Julie or Jul (these are my nicknames that I use for a long time, my old nicknames are kinda embarrassing XD)

I'm from Greece 🇬🇷 The most beautiful and unique country!

(Some people had passed me as Bulgarian/Russian/German girl idk why maybe it's because of my skin and my face/characteristics 😆😆)

Anyways! I'm 21 and my major is cooking,although I don't like it much or hate it, just yk kinda boring (?) Well sometimes bad decisions can bring you good opportunities or chances in your future! Soooo, my fave color is black, green and shades of green, gray, brown etc 🤎🖤🤍💚

My big 3 are: ☀️♐ ⬆️♉ 🌙♏

And now the most important and lovely part of me!

.

.

.

When I was 5-6 yo I had a terrible "accident" (not me but the little boy who were with me and I was in front of this "accident ")and after this incident... A lot of things had happened in my whole life till so far.

I used to feel, sense, sometimes with blurred vision shadows, souls, spirits and most of them were powerful for me as a young Julie who didn't know a shit about these thingies 🤪

Soooo after all these things, incidents, situations etc in 2015-2016 I started learning from my mom how to do readings aka past-future-present reading with the playing cards! (My mom also is spiritual and we got this gift from her dad) so I was constantly learning and learning and learning (only what she feels I couldn't even see the numbers or smth). In 2018-2019 had the worst experiences ever, when I say the worst I mean THE WORST. it was the first time that I was so hurt, broken emotionally and betrayed from a friendship back then I thought I loved. Yeah sure some people take a small/part piece from your heart with them and it's totally fine. I had- I was too close to have depression. And no it's not the "omg I'm so sad, I can't this I can't do that" it's more like" bed, always in bed not even thoughts, not even emotions, everything was meaningless for me, my windows always closed not even be able to see if it's day or not,in bed with the same position every day/night.not even go to pee, take a shower nothing. I was like" Nothing matters, it's just another day or night. " not even hungry. For almost a year.

AFTER THIS SHIT THO I HAD MY 1ST SPIRITUAL AWAKENING LIKE IT WAS PRETTY CRAZY AND POWERFUL FOR MY HEART/SOUL.

For real I had HAD the urge to live, to survive, to feel again, I started crying out of nowhere, crying constantly for 4 hours (yeah it's a lot) and from 2020 till now I can say..

I'm so grateful for everything, for my journey that was tough and hard for me, for real when they say"with the pain comes the courage and strength after" hits different. I am grateful and thankful for every moment that has made me struggle, hurt, cry, be angry, resent, be disappointed, withdraw, fear, hesitate, shout, judge, exclude, censor. And yet difficulties and heavy emotions make you more dynamic, powerful, more prepared, more mature and rational/ logical. Because you know you'll meet them(vicious cycle of emotions) again and that's why life is beautiful and special. each of us is fighting for HIS own life alone. That's why we entered this human body to learn a lot, to live a lot, to understand a lot, to understand a lot,to experience a lot, but above all there is no such thing as forgiveness.

(This long text may hurt your eyes guys I'm sorry 😭😭)

I wanted to let you know that this is me, you can always ask me questions if you want to learn more about me and that you matter, you're loved, you're amazing, you're wonderful and pretty soul, so gentle and kind. Your existence for me is a gift and every existence is important and gift for everyone.

I deeply love you, with my whole heart. 🖤✨

[tillman]

Embarrassed asking this bc I've been following for a hot minute now and still don't know anything haha--where would I start if I were to look into reading abt Lancelot and Galehaut?

NO ITS OK LOL medieval lit is fucking insane especially getting into it with no background here is my brief spiel: <- said before i ended up typing 800 words. sorry.

medieval lit is complex and extremely hard to approach. let alone that most translations work under the assumption the only people to ever read them would be academics with a background in medieval lit, getting into and reading it is a challenge. if u have an interest and dont want to have to brave one of the longest and most complex stories written in medieval french and translated by many many people into english, im happy to say the story of galehaut and lancelot has enough influence to have a pretty decent modern english retelling of the main beats in Lancelot and the Lord of the Distant Isles. (my pdf here, tho copies are really easy to find in bookstores and stuff this is only from 2007). It takes the main story of the vulgate and condenses it down to focus on just the love story of galehaut and lancelot. its pretty fun. the liberties it takes are slight and work for telling a coherent story.

Now, if you have read it, or want the real Galehaut experience, heres whats up, medieval texts and modern poems undercut:

Galehaut is in 5. i think maybe 6 medieval stories total. youre in for a treat as this is maybe the shortest "i want to get into arthuriana and i like this character where do i start?!" list possible besides like. drian the gay. or some other fucking nobody.

The main one, again, is the Vulgate Cycle. This is the main old french tale that inspired a looot of other arthurian works all over Europe. Its huge. Im not done scanning it BUT, i am done scanning the section Galehaut appears in, the beginning, because i got depressed after that lol. (Heres my scan of part 1, part 2 is on my website im too lazy to get both links).

From there, you got the most detailed explanation of the story of Galehaut, and can read the more fun shit and whacky shit with him and Lancelot in it YAY. Heres what i got pdfed on me rn:

Biggest one to note is he has a side role in Thomas Malory's Le Morte D'Arthur. Nothing huge, and they do mix him up with Galahad at one point? but hes there. No one should read the original text its such a slog so heres Keith Baines awesome rendition

In other bad middle english texts, Lancelot of the Laik Book 3 has Galehaut, but its unfinished and also. only in middle english. fun footnote, dont read it. one day ill post my translation of book 3 alone LOL.

Short and sweet Galehaut is in The Old Knight, the greek text we have. he tries to fight for palamides and lancelot and tristan then try to fight for him. its cute. the old knight is an odd little thing just had to bring it up LOL (had to download a pdf for this one the site i read the article on before doesnt seem to be up.... just scroll to the bottom!) <- thisll be up on my website soon i forgot it i guess

Now for the funniest reveal: Galehaut plays more of a role in Tristania than Arthuriana most of the time (well. the arthurian branch of tristania im not getting into this rn). Why is Galehaut and Lancelots relationship expanded upon only here? only god can answer that.

Here is the Tavola Ritonda. Its one of the oddest texts i know of. Medieval italian. Very Very brutal. BUT. has some really interesting Galehaut takes and moments hidden in the . whatever is happening in this fucking text. its long as hell but mentioning for fun. (pdfff)

aand more interestingly. Here is the Belarussian translation of that. Which is even fucking weirder. mostly different plot, still has lots of really cute galehaut moments including the bit he asks tristan to join his and lancelots marriage. oh well i love the povest. (and heres that pdf)

Now. this is the wild card round. Heres the weird shit and the Hovey.

If you can brave French. modern french not old dont worry, Pierre Sala has Tristan et Lancelot. an exceptionally fucking weird story. Galehaut does make a slight appearance but mostly, keyley, funnierly, his evil german cousin is a recurring villain for a few chapters. its weird. its fun. its french. (pdf)

and finally. this one is on its own level, here is my dedication to Richard Hovey. one of the greatest poets of 1885 or whenever he wrote his arthurian stuff. He was gay. he famously called himself the american oscar wilde (and maybe met him at a party? one time we found a source saying they made out at a party.). and he wrote one of the only poems featuring galehaut i know.

well ok its a collection of dramas. and galehaut is not the focus. but he is a main character and he is insane. I recommend reading literally all his works hes a fucking amazing poet, you can even find his other poetry online easily. but heres his list of works on the camelot project. oh my god read richard hovey. please . hes my favorite poet.

[masterofrecords]

The Ravages of Time episode 1

Oooookay, I did a thing.

Well, not yet – so far I’ve done 3/16 of a Thing, but I think that’s enough to start posting it.

As I have mentioned several times on this blog, I’m watching “The Ravages of Time” donghua. There are official subs, but they don’t cover everything – notably, song lyrics and the cards with background information at the end of each episode remained a mystery. I like mysteries and I like digging into Chinese history. I’m sure you can figure out my problem.

The thing is that some of those cards are abridged versions of excerpts from ancient chronicles. Most of these texts have no English translations available. Those are hard to translate, even for professionals (which I am far from) – as you’d expect from over a thousand year old books.

Luckily, most cards only reference the chronicles and are written in modern Chinese.

Most references in these cards are for “The Records of the Three Kingdoms” and occasionally to “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms” – a fictionalized version of the same events – and “The Book of the Later Han” which describes the events and personas of the period predating the Three Kingdoms (Dong Zhuo rose to power in 189 and was dead in 192 (sorry for the almost 2000-year-old spoilers), while the Three Kingdoms period officially started in 220).

Episode 1

T/N: The original title for the manhua/donghua is “Fiery Phoenix Scorches the Plains”

Scorched plains afterword: “The Records of the Three Kingdoms”, one of the Twenty-Four Histories [1], written by the West Jin dynasty historian Chen Shou, records the events of the Cao Wei, Shu Han and Eastern Wu states of the Three Kingdoms period, presented as a series of biographies and dynastic histories, and is considered the most famous of the Early Four Historiographies [2]. If you persevere and finish reading “The Records of the Three Kingdoms”, you will find that “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms” has many fabricated events. In fact, almost none of the literary works about the Three Kingdoms period are based on real historical records. Each author’s perspective leads to their art being created in their own versions of the Three Kingdoms. – Mou [3]

[1] dynastic histories from remote antiquity until Ming dynasty

[2] Those include The Records of the Grand Historian, The Book of Han, The Book of the Later Han, The Records of the Three Kingdoms

[3] I’m assuming referring to Chen Mou, the author of “The Ravages of Time” manhua

---------

“The Ravages of Time” is also very much fabricated. A lot of the main characters are made-up, for one; but even regarding the general events of the story, a lot of it couldn’t have happened the way it did. (I still love the donghua though! Not to mention that there is a looong history of historical fiction in China that plays very loose with historical events. See “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms” again. This is in no way a criticism on my part, I just think this stuff is even cooler when you know the history.) I’ve come across some pretty interesting stuff on these events while researching for these translations, so I might include that in the posts for the relevant episodes. At least, I will for this episode!

Putting this under the read more for spoilers of things that happened 2000 years ago.

The prologue has the narrator describe a man with the surname Cao fearing people with the character “horse” in their name. The surname Cao is that of Cao Cao; surname Sima contains the character for “horse”. Sima Yi, indeed, was the one who had Cao Cao’s descendants lose the throne and be executed.

I’m not sure how accurate the dream is supposed to be – it is, after all, a dream. Either way, I have found no indication that Sima Yi’s death was in any way violent or memorable, or that his last years were marred by any particular madness or cruelty. He did have dreams he found disturbing in those last years when he fell ill – but they were relatively harmless ones of his political rivals being celebrated. So, if it is meant to be prophetic, it is fictional.

Remnant army also doesn’t seem to be based on any real organization.

Dong Zhuo entered Luoyang in 189. At that time, Sima Yi would be about 10 years old. Along with his older brother Sima Lang (around 18) and the rest of his family he lived in Luoyang; they only moved to Henei after Dong Zhuo started making plans to relocate to Chang’an. Due to that fact, the entire Henei storyline is understandably fictional.

Xu Lin is a completely made-up character. Whatever, he dies in the very first episode. Same for Zhao Xian (Liaoyuan Huo’s “adopted father”).

We briefly see Sima Yi’s younger siblings playing ball. Sima Yi was the second of eight brothers, nicknamed “Eight Das” because all of their courtesy names ended with the same character (Zhongda for Sima Yi, Boda for Sima Lang).

[draculagerard]

u asked for it so i am HERE to tell u about the netflix tv show never have i ever......except im not going to explain Everything super concisely bc i already have a hard enough time trying 2 explain the complexities of devi vishwakumar when my brain is Actually working but rn i am running on three hours of sleep, an energy drink that partially sprayed out of my nose, and some sour punch straws but i am going to do my best to like. idk explain it. apologies in advance bc this got so long im SO sorry. ANYWAY. never have i ever. its about a first-generation indian american girl named devi and she is like. well. not cool. her n her friends are called the "UN" which they thought meant united nations bc they're all woc but no it means unfuckable nerds. and the person who coined the term unfuckable nerds? one ben gross, aka devi's longstanding academic rival. do u see where this is going yet? great. wonderful. devi spends most of season 1 chasing after this jock paxton (who. we do love. just not with devi.) and imploding all of her personal relationships in an attempt to Not Feel the grief of her father dying. at one point she even tells her mom that she wishes her mom died instead of her dad (ouch, but also, been there). atp devi's friends, the other members of the UN, are taking a "friend break" bc she was. well kind of a bitch. so she moves in w ben (rival) for like a week and then he drives her, unlicensed, to where her mom is spreading her dads ashes and then she goes back up to the car and they go "you stayed" "yeah i just wanrted to make sure you were okay" and then KISS. KISS!!!!!!! but then paxton (jock) also likes her so she dates BOTH of them and then implodes on her and they both break up with her. and then she accidentally spreads a rumor around the school about ben's new girlfriend having an eating disorder which ends up being true. and then paxton (jock) dates her again. and then they break up after like 3 months and ben's new girlfriend (aneesa) also breaks up w ben same day and then ben and devi are like. besties for a bit. devi dates a new guy des who honestly should probably be in a relationship with his own mom instead and then he dumps her bc of his mom and THEN. after all of this. ben jokingly gives devi a "one free boink" card. (was it really a joke ben was it i dont think so!!!!) and. at paxton's graduation he sort of mentions devi but not by name and the narrator (which, i should mention the narrator for devi's inner monologue is american tennis player john mcenroe) says she doesnt get stomach knots!!! but then she and ben share an like an intimate moment in the hall and mcenroe says "there's the stomach knots" like!!!!! and THEN later that night!!!!! she goes to ben's house!!!!!!1 and redeems the one free boink card CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!! and thats where season 3 ends....

season 4 comes out in THREE DAYS and weve gotten SOOOO many spoilers for the first two episodes which (if anyone who watches never have i ever is still reading this and doesnt want spoilers please sotp reading) we find out that ben and devi DID boink and that they both thought iut was like?? bad foir the other person??? and ben just didnt know what to say so he asked if she needed him to call an uber like ben WHAT. as rae @ice-sculptures put it "can you believe that ben gross not knowing what to say after fucking led to the whole spiral of miscommunication lmfao" like they just DONT TALK devi tries to ask if he wanted to get coffee and he says NO because a basketball player at the gym told ben that devi wasnt serious about him because she put a period in the text or somethjing?? so instead he goes and dates this girl from art class margot and devi sees ben with her on the first day of school and gets. well upset. and then someone spray paints "STUPID BITCH" on devi's car and of course she thinks its margot!!!! (but shhhh it wasnt....it was actually this kid ethan....more on him later) and then like other stff happens im not super clear about that but basically at some point ben tells devi that margot doesnt want ben talking to devi anymore :( i dont rlly know much else past that i think thats where s4e2 ends??? but we do know that devi ends up DATING that ethan kid at some point but. sooo many things point to ben/devi endgame esp bc her other main love interest (paxton, the jock) is now STAFF at their high school so like?? i dont think they're going that route but im just. dsjfkhjsad SO EXCITED except i cannot watch s4 the day it comes out bc i will be seeing waterparks which. im so excitred for but also WHYYY do they have to be on the same day

i feel like i didnt explain this very well and left out a lot of like pivotal ben/devi moments but im sitting here jus.t typing and not rereading any of this im. So sorry that this is as long as it is jkhsddfsd thank u for reading this and. if u didnt read it i dont blame u szdkjhdfsakd

WOW OKAY HOLY FUCK A LOT GOING ON THERE HUH????? HELLO.

Okay okay key notes:

I already like Devi and I haven't even watched the show.

WHAT THE FUCK IS BEN DOING HELLOOOO. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM DSFJJFD

by boink im assuming it means fuck right. cause like i've never euphemism in my life

THEY END S3 LIKE THAT ?? FWERLJW

oh LORD devi's complex relationship with her mom okay i hear it

bro the miscommunication sounds SOOO bad... like they cannot communicate properly even once huh 😭

devi ends up dating WHO now???? first the guy who gave them the name un and then the stupid bitch dude?? HELP....

IT COMES OUT IN 3 DAYS??? oh shit good luck??!!

OMG youre gonna go to a Waterparks show????? have fun holy shit

anyways are you kidding ofc i read the whole thing i NEED media rants rn

[westfall-castle]

hey! Aelin stan here, I just wanted to say that i've seen your anti Aelin posts and you make really good points! You're completely correct in pointing out that Aelin should in no way have all the "life experience" SJM throws at her or be able to play the queen card all the time. In my opinion, the root issue is bad writing and SJM's apparent inability to write MCs who aren't some glorified, deified "perfect" being who checks all the boxes ever imagined.

I honestly wish that we saw more of Aelin making her mistakes and having to deal with the consequences. Like yeah, we sort of do, but not in any real way, and I think that's one of the things we as readers in general but also as Aelin stans tend to gloss over. She was rash and impetuous and never seemed to suffer the consequences, and everyone around her backed her up even when they "were mad that she didn't tell anyone her plans." Again, i think a decent part of this is bad writing and a too-heavy relance on the fantasy as opposed to making characters believable, but Aelin was the main main character, she deserved more than being exalted to god status.

thank you for being a voice of critique :) feel free to respond however you think this giant rambling braindump deserves :)

Hi Aelin Stan! I hope you’re doing awesome.

First of all I’m so sorry for taking centuries in replying to this 😭 Thank you very much for taking the time to drop by and leave your question.

Thank you so much for reading my posts! I wouldn’t consider myself fully anti-Aelin, but I include the tag so people can navigate through the content easier and well, because that post, as you remember, wasn’t precisely hyping her up hahah 😅. I do, however, see she has lots of positive traits to her and actually like her, she has a special place in my reader heart.

I agree with you completely! It was most likely because lots of things were going on throughout the series. First, it heavily relied on fantasy, as you say (which is not bad and it’s part of why I loved it) but soon SJM was tasked with

-Generating lore for this fantasy world

-Explain fantastic elements as more characters were added (For example: Introduce Manon= Explain the whole dynamics about witches. Introduce Rowan= Explain the whole dynamics about fae and demi-fae)

- Weaving the characters and making them interact so we had a story

-Developing each character’s arc

- Bringing the story forward making it make sense

-Write romance for all these characters ending with more than 6 pairings

SO IT WAS A LOT GOING ON! And I do admire as a reader the amount of work this represented and how she brought it forward. in the end, the series counts with 8 books and it still left us wanting for more!

At the same time, maybe this was the reason there wasn’t enough space for development, introspection, accountability for Aelin. There simply was no space for this to happen! If Aelin suffered the consequences, as you very smartly mention, it would have required to edit the text and narrow certain elements to have space, or add 2 more books to the series and make it 10 (which I’m personally not opposed to hahah, but we know how editorial publications work and it’s already hard as it is to publish 8 books in a row!)

Perhaps the work got so big no amount of words did it justice. Maybe we wouldn’t have gotten Elide or Aedion. Who knows how it would’ve gone.

Many readers mention in their critiques of TOG the space management (aka: reading and editing to cut out irrelevant parts and make reading more efficient and straightforward) What I can say about it is: I agree, however, SJM is the writer. We must respect as readers that maybe these parts in her mind were specifically relevant to her and helped her build this big fantasy world in her head. Many parts could be left out to make it “neater” but it’s easy to critique when you’re not the one who’s writing.

Throughout the 8 books, I felt SJM’s necessity to transmit. She wanted to take us into the narrative, clarify all of the reader’s questions and she did a commendable job in doing so. However, she did drown in words in some parts. Sometimes you were reading and the narrator was talking and talking and you couldn’t help but think: ???? Why is this relevant? Hahaha

Maybe these parts could be used for the character development we were seeking at the expense of cutting out certain details from the books.

Well, you have no idea how much I love engaging in these types of conversation so I really have to thank you 🥹❤️ I send you a hug wherever you are and you’re not rambling! It makes so much sense! I can see you’re an avid reader 💕

Lots of love and if you ever want to discuss books again I’m here! Promise to take much less in replying.

[amaltheatarot]

Hey guys I got a reading for you sorry I died for a bit, but I got some messages for some of y’all today. If you resonate with any of this shit just text me and we can get more specific ya feel.

Tarot portion: 3 of wands reversed. Judgment. Nine of swords. Okay why tf do I feel like some of y’all are in the middle of a friend group fall out oh my god that’s so ass. I’m getting that needing to happen and honestly I think it’s for the better. I’m also getting that you’ve been having problems with these people for some time now and it puts a big ass toll on your mental health. I also get someone from your past wanting to come back into your life with that judgement card there. But with the nine of swords why would you wanna deal with these people again if they treated you like shit in the past? Your advice is basically just to accept this. Once you accept it you can move on and stop blocking better shit from coming to you.

Animal Oracle: growth in reverse. Passage. Composure in reverse. So what I’m getting is some of you have have some travel delays or just travels period coming soon. I also got that some of y’all may feel like where you are isn’t getting anywhere or there’s just a lack of growth in general work wise. With composure in reverse you may seem like you can’t do anything about this but in your advice being the wisdom card just follow you damn intuition you’re obviously smart enough to do so. So just try and boost your confidence I feel like you just need to take a step back and stop worrying about stupid shit and just DO THE SHIT.

Mermaid oracle: I get some of y’all not making enough time for your friends or loved ones. I also feel like if you have some friends in your life that you’re not close to but you want to reach out and get closer with them I think you should do it. Especially if you resonate with the tarot portion: if you are the one with the toxic ass friend group make some time with some better fuckin people forget that toxic shit. And tell those toxic people how it is SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. But most importantly take some time for you. Self care is so goddamn important it’s so important seriously. Sometimes you just need to be by yourself and do absolutely nothing. I know sometimes it’s hard to not feel guilty about giving ourselves time but don’t think about that, that’s all I’m your head you’re gonna be fine you’re on the right path don’t worry.

[paddockbunny]

All Too Well – Chapter Six

Summary : Alessandra Lucciano tells herself she has it all. She is Daniel Ricciardo's girlfriend after all. Isn't she? Well, sometimes she has to work hard to feel like it and no more so than when some girl shows up and makes her question her life as she knows it. So what happens when someone else starts paying her more attention than her boyfriend? Pairing : Daniel Ricciardo x (OC) Alessandra Lucciano + Max Verstappen Rating : 18+ Word Count : 3,250 Trigger Warnings for this Chapter : Angst, rocky relationship, language, slight hint at rough sex, adult themes, strong emotions Song Inspiration for this Chapter : ""I know you by heart, and you don’t even know where I start" — "Come in With the Rain"

💞 Authors Note : I'm sorry this chapter has come out so late, I've been on vacation so I couldn't write nor upload due to time differences. I'm still super jetlaggedd so this is not proof read 🙏🏼

21:12pm – 3rd of October 2020 – Monaco – Daniel’s apartment.

Alessandra’s tired eyes could barely stay open during the flight back to Monaco. She could feel her whole body begin to slow down and her brain was clouded with fog. Her mind had been in use constantly the past week or so that she had been in Sicily at her grandmother’s side. She had arrived first out of everyone that had been called. Several days of worry while being at her darling Nonna’s bedside – her mother only able to join her on day six and aunt a further day after that. She should have been thankful she got to spend those days with her Nonna but not while she was so sick. It was nothing short of a miracle when she began to pull through the worst of her illness and sit up in bed and demand lemon ricotta biscuits. Ali finally allowed herself to cry on that flight back to Monaco and she was sure that she would probably look a frightful mess by the time she had picked up her luggage and got through to arrivals, where Daniel promised to pick her up.

But after waiting nearly half an hour with her suitcase she finally pulled out her phone and tried calling him. No answer. So she called again. And even one more time after that but still, no answer. She sent him a text asking if there was something he was forgetting to do in an attempt to keep the reminder light and jovial. A text, which also went unreplied too. After trying various times Ali was far too tired to stand there in the airport any longer – too tired but also too embarrassed – so she decided to just go outside and get a cab. She toyed with the idea of just going straight home to her own place but she had to know why Daniel hadn’t come to collect her like he had promised her he would. Ali remembered all of the texts and the phone calls between her boyfriend and her whilst she was in Italy. He comforted her and gave her soothing words of encouragement when she needed them most. It showed her that he really did care about her and in her worst moments he thought about her even if he couldn’t physically be with her due to racing.

The ride to his apartment felt longer than ever before. She wasn’t sure if she had fallen asleep in the back of the cab or not but she soon saw familiar sights and knew she could at least be getting into a cosy warm bed soon. It only took a further ten minutes till the car stopped and she tapped her card for payment. The driver helped her with her bags before getting back into his car to no doubt head back to the airport to wait on some other mug that hadn’t been picked up by their other half. She buzzed herself in with her security key and then hauled her suitcase into the elevator and pressed his floor. It wasn’t until the moment she laid eyes upon Daniel’s door that suddenly a feeling descended upon her slowly. What if the reason he hadn’t come to get her was because he was there…with someone else, with another girl. These horrible notions came flooding in and out of her brain like a rising and departing ocean tide. It all stemmed from that trip to Montana but still all these months later she had a feeling of dread whenever something like this happened. Something that gave her cause to be overtaken by alarm.  

She unlocked Daniel’s door and as she pulled her case into the hallway she heard laughter. Male laughter. Her mind had gone to the worst and she sighed with relief that it had all just been her own mind lying to her. She left her case sitting there beside the door and dumped her bag down on top of it as she allowed the heavy door to swing shut behind herself. Tentatively she walked down the hallway to the living room. The face she saw first was not that of her missing boyfriend but Max Verstappen. Staring back at her were those fucking sapphire blue eyes not ones of molten chocolate. “Oh…” He swallowed the clear liquid he had been drinking and tried not to dribble any as he got up from his position on the sofa. “Hi, uh…” He stumbled a little on his words but she accepted the fact that he hadn’t been expecting to see her so just raised a half smile at him. “Daniel’s just finishing getting ready.” He motioned to the other hallway that expanded from living room. As if he had heard his name being mentioned Daniel appeared in said hallway and gave her the briefest of smiles. She knew all along that he would have forgotten his promise but now him standing there in all dressed to go out, it was rather jarring. But then again, she was far too exhausted to be bothered to argue. Plus, they had a guest so arguing in front of him would have been rude.

“You’re going out?” Ali finally asked and she tried to keep her voice light even if it wasn’t the tone she actually wanted to use with him. She took in the state of her boyfriend. Dressed well in an expensive new “party shirt” (as he dubbed them) that she had never seen before. He had clearly bought the item specifically for going out tonight which meant it was something he wanted to look good for.  “Yeah, it’s last minute.” He paused and patted his jeans pockets overly dramatically. “It’s Haylee’s birthday.”

As Daniel looked around for his phone Ali blinked several times as if the brain fog she had felt earlier was now making her utterly delusional. Her mouth parted slightly and she felt the wind being knocked straight out of her. Haylee. The girl that ruined Montana for her? The one that came close to breaking Daniel and her up? The one that Daniel was very aware Ali wasn’t keen on? “I know you don’t like her so I didn’t think to mention it to you, thought it would just annoy you.” Then he disappeared back toward the bedroom where he was no doubt retrieving his wallet and Ali just stared into thin air. She had nothing to say. No fight to make. Certainly not after the week she had had. In her mind she had envisioned Daniel picking her up from the airport and engulfing her in a massive hug. She thought he would have been there to support her and want to have her curled up in his protective arms, as they lay in bed together. But evidently, she had overestimated his capabilities as a boyfriend again and this time for some reason it just left her numb instead of pissed off, angry or even hurt.

“If you’re not comfortable with it I could suggest we don’t go.” Ali had forgotten Max was even there so his voice startled her. She shook her head because it was probably a useless cause. She remembered what he had told her at his girlfriend’s event when she questioned him about the girl her boyfriend seemed to be rather obsessed with all of a sudden

*** MAX POV (Flashback)

“Well I better try find Elin, I think she’s forgotten I exist.” I rolled my eyes dramatically. But suddenly I had this strange feeling come over me when she nodded and bit her bottom lip. She had done that at that stupid fucking dinner party too. Her perfectly straight, pearly white teeth gripped her full, pouty, kissable bottom lip in an almost vice grip. It was enough to send this weird feeling all over me. One that made me want to reach out, put my hand on her cheek and command her to stop. I’d have seemed like a right fucking creep if I did that so I had to remind myself that regardless of how beautiful she was (regardless of any of the mental images I might have running through my brain of her) it was wrong. Just as I turned to leave she put her tiny little hand on my arm and I immediately halted.

“Max, have you heard Daniel mentioning a girl called Haylee?” Fuck. Why did she ask me this? How did I explain what I knew without making her curious or furious? I found my head nodding and my shoulders rising before I could work out what I could say. “Uh…yeah…uh….” Nice going, real smooth, Max. Style it out. Don’t be awkward. “She went to Montana right?” She looked down and slowly nodded. FUCK! Clearly the Montana trip didn’t go as well as Daniel said it did. “How does Daniel know her?” Ok, I can answer that. A nice and simple question.

“He’s known her forever.” I shrugged and immediately I regretted it. Jesus, why did this girl make me so nervous? “Her father was a team principal, he manages some of the drivers now. She’s been around the paddock since she was a child.” The information seemed not to surprise her. “So Daniel’s known her since he started racing?” “I don’t know. I’d presume so but I’m not sure.” “Have they always been so…” She made this gesture as if she was trying to find the words in English (God I know how that feels), “comfortable with one and other?” Now I clammed up. It was awkward. I knew all about the rumours of Haylee and Daniel – most of the paddock suspected things – but there was no way I could be the one to say anything. Regardless of this strange fondness I was feeling toward this innocent, beautiful girl, I couldn’t do that to my teammate. “Alessandra…” She looked at me with eyes that bore right into my soul. “If you have questions, you should ask Daniel. I’m not….” She scoffed at my words.

“He would just find a way into telling me it’s all in my head and that I’m just insecure.” The look on her face was the same one that she had written on it that night when he said he didn’t need her support at races. It was as if the words she had just spoken were how she actually felt about herself and that made me so fucking uncomfortable because she couldn't see how fucking phenomenal she was. But then again, what the fuck had Daniel been saying to make her feel that way? “But yeah, he’s your teammate and you have loyalty to him, that’s understandable. Commendable. You should go find your girlfriend, tell her that she’s won a fan. Her work is incredible. She’s so talented.” As she adorably rambled my heart tightened in my chest at how Daniel had made her feel about herself and how I really needed to have a word about it with him. Especially, as he had suggested I attend Haylee’s birthday with him.

***

“No. It’s fine. You should go.” Ali tried to raise half a smile for the innocent guy that probably had no idea why she had such an issue, where she had just come from or how she was feeling. Ali was probably being a buzz kill. When he returned she told Daniel to have a goodnight with a kiss to the cheek. She gave Max a brief goodbye before heading straight down the hall to the bathroom to run a bath. She still felt like leaving and returning to her own apartment, she could call another cab, but she couldn’t be bothered to do that. She just wanted to be soothed by nice warm water and then crawl into bed. They shouted a final goodbye before leaving and she felt rather relieved when Daniel’s apartment fell silent besides the sound of flowing water.

Her head rested on the edge of the tub. The water bordering on too hot but it she didn’t care. As Ali closed her eyes to switch off from the world, she kept seeing the girl from Montana. She saw her honey coloured hair, crystal blue staring eyes and that fucking smirk she so desperately wanted to wipe off her face. She knew Daniel had to have picked up on the insecurity she felt when she cried to him in LA. She hadn’t exactly lay the blame at the other woman’s door but she implied it heavily enough that she was positive Daniel had understood her stance on this Haylee girl. So that was why she felt such overwhelming crushing disappointment tonight. She had flashbacks to the way she felt during summer break and how soul crushing it was when she thought had electively chosen another girl over her. And now, he was doing it all over again even though he knew how much it bothered her, how much this Haylee girl bothered her. Tears began to slowly fall from her eyes before she knew it. The usually soothing hot water was doing little to soothe her tonight. Then suddenly Ali just let go. She let all of the bottled up stress from the past week flow out of her and mix with the upset at the scene tonight. Her heart no longer felt like it was on fire in her chest. It felt like ruined ashes.

02:45am – 4th of October 2020 – Monaco - Daniel’s apartment

Ali was awoken from a light sleep – the worry racked her brain too much to allow her to fall asleep fully like she had so desperately wanted – to the sound of the front door opening and closing again. Heavy, still shoe'd footsteps tapped away on the marble flooring. She waited for voices, thinking Max would come back with him, but they never came. Daniel was home by himself but she should be thankful that he was indeed home. She turned on the bedroom light when she heard something being knocked over followed by a slight laugh. Her eyes were puffy and slightly sore from the crying she had done earlier. The focus of all of said crying was now the drunken fool trying to find his way to the bedroom in the dark. She sighed once, got out of bed and found him leaning against the doorframe.

“Daniel.” She sighed when he smiled at her. “How much have you had to drink?” “Hmm…. not very much actually, I’ve been good.” She could tell he had at least half a dozen but wasn’t drunk enough for anymore than that. She would ordinarily be quite impressed by the restraint he had shown tonight but she was more interested in getting him to bed so she could attempt to get some sleep. He followed her to the bedroom and before she had a chance to help him remove his shoes, he was putting the moves on her. His hands reached around her and found their place on her ass, squeezing slightly harsher than usual. She tried in vain to make him focus. He just squeezed harder and groaned into her ear;

“C’mon baby….let me eat that pretty little pussy.” She didn’t feel the usual bolt of electricity shock through her core. She didn’t get excited as he set about lazily dirty talking like he usually did, it didn’t have the same effect tonight. In fact, it turned her stomach a little because she knew exactly where he was coming from, and in whose company.   

Really? Now? You forget me then want to fuck me?

He pressed her gently against the door to the bedroom. His hands lazily trailing toward the front of her silk shorts and just as his fingers dipped passed the waistband she grabbed his wrist and stopped him. She could smell the alcohol on him that directly disputed his claims of being good. “Not now…” He swayed a little but didn’t continue. She used the opportunity to get his shirt off him and he attempted to nuzzle into her neck.

“Where’s my good girl?” He lulled and she rolled her eyes. She was tempted to say his good girl was back in Italy and she had been replaced by a pissed off girl that had been left standing waiting on her boyfriend in an airport arrivals hall. But she decided against it. “Everyone wondered where you were tonight.” He added and she really wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up. He moved his body before she could get to the final buttons on his Gucci shirt. “Blake, Michael…” So they had all been invited. All the ones that had been on that embarrassing Montana trip were there but her. She didn’t have to search her brain very hard to know exactly why. She sighed and he picked up on it.

“What is wrong with you?” He had some drunken accusatory boldness in him but Ali couldn’t be bothered dealing with it. “Let’s just get you into bed Danny, please.” “Since you said please….” Before Ali had a single second to protest his hands went back to her ass again and this time, he was far too rough and she had to push him off her. For a mere fleeting second she thought about giving him exactly what it was that he wanted. But then she couldn’t bare the thought of fucking him while he was drunk and she was sober, not when he was too past it. Besides he probably wouldn’t be able to get it up, too much alcohol had that effect on him sometimes.

It took Ali nearly 45 minutes to get Daniel into bed. He took forever and kept making things difficult for her. He kept asking why she was in a mood, why she was angry with him and why she wouldn’t fuck him. But the final nail in the coffin came when Daniel finally lay down on the bed and stated; “I should have stayed at Haylee’s like she wanted.” Without a second thought, she grabbed her phone and a pillow and immediately went to sleep on the sofa. Haylee suggested he stay at hers? Had the others been asked the same thing? Did any of them go with her? Did Daniel decide to come home to her or was he made come home to her? And as much as she thought hearing something like that, something meant to directly wound her would indeed tear her apart, it didn’t. She lay down, pulled the blanket around herself and stared at the ceiling. It was only ten minutes later that she received a text from an unknown number.

000-754-334-980: Hi, it’s Max. I hope it’s ok that I got your number from Dan’s phone when we dropped him off. Just wanted to make sure he wasn’t too much of a hassle and he went straight to bed like he promised?

Max was sweet. He was thoughtful. And regardless of how much she wanted to ask if Daniel had gotten too close to someone else tonight, she didn’t.

AL: He did. Thank you for dropping him off. I hope he wasn’t too much of a bother. 000-745-334-980: I’m sorry he’s such a prick at times. You really don’t deserve it.

And then Ali fell asleep, praying her boyfriend loved her enough not to have done anything to break her heart and wishing she could find someone who treated her the way Max did.

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[sergiovinazzi]

Stolen - Lando Norris x Reader (Chapter Three)

3.9k words - Rated M (language)

Here it is, my most favourite chapter to date, I hope you enjoy!

You smooth the skirt of your soft, black-linen sundress with shaky hands and pinch the bridge of your nose. You’re regretting not packing anything warmer than the denim jacket currently wrapped around your shoulders when you’re interrupted by the disgruntled sounds of your father calling your name through the phone speaker.

“What?” you ask, exasperated. “Sorry, I got distracted for a second.”

He repeats himself in annoyance, “I said, are you okay with staying at the hotel and ordering dinner for yourself?”

Staring at the restaurant in front of you, you debate whether or not to explain your situation to him. You realise, however, that he probably has enough to worry about after today’s events at Silverstone, and his daughter being out to dinner with another team’s driver probably won’t go over well.

“Yeah,” you lie. “I could use a quiet night in. Will you grab something to eat for yourself on your way back?”

Your dad hums, and you can tell that once he heard the confirmation that he didn’t need to get dinner for you, he lost interest in anything you had to say after the fact. It’s not difficult for you to understand why. Still, the lack of a verbal response worries you and you find it hard to evade the thoughts about Max and the accident. To most, the fact that he got out of the car and could walk was a good sign, but you’re still plagued by the various possibilities of what the hospital tests will conclude and just how bad the damage really is.

“Will you let me know if he’s okay?” you ask quietly, squeezing your eyes shut and pressing the phone closer to your ear, as if you could hone in on the doctor’s discussions in the background to find out whether Max was going to be alright.

Your dad simply hums again. “I’ll text you when we know more, but I’ve gotta go. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye, dad,” you murmur.

His quick Bye, love you is rapidly replaced with the end-of-call dial tone.

You slip the phone into your jacket pocket and take a deep breath, preparing to head inside the restaurant. You couldn’t help but clock the bright orange McLaren already stationed in the parking lot when your Uber arrived. You recognised it from a picture in the article you read when you first learned of Lando’s incident at Wembley. You’re thankful for the sign that he’s already here and you dredge up the remaining ounces of fake confidence left in your body, making an effort to quickly smooth down your hair before you open the door and enter the restaurant.

You’re immediately overwhelmed by the sheer atmosphere of elegance. Hand-painted horizons adorn the walls, encapsulated by swirling silver frames and accentuated by the small lights stationed above each piece of artwork, their job for the night to highlight the colours and shading the artist undoubtedly spent hours perfecting.

The savoury scents of garlic and soy originate in the kitchen and permeate across the premises with ease, challenged only by the rousing aroma of the stunning frangipanis adorning the entrance.

A woman you guess to be around your age approaches you with a notepad and pen in hand. She’s dressed in a black bodycon skirt with a hem that scrapes the top of her knees; her matching coloured button up shirt is tucked in smoothly. “Hi,” she greets with a small smile, “Would you like me to show you to the bar?”

“Oh, I’m actually supposed to be meeting someone here,” you tell her, eyes scanning the room for Lando.

You see him before he sees you.

He’s tucked away at a table in the corner, his brown curls peaking over the top of the large menu he's studying.

“Found him, thanks,” you tell the waitress and she returns to her station as you make your way across the restaurant towards Lando.

He looks up from the menu as your figure appears in his peripherals and he shoots you a wave when you’re a few metres away. You return his gesture with a small laugh and he stands, walking to the front of the table to greet you.

“Hey,” he says, enveloping you in a one-armed hug. “Glad you could make it.”

“Me too. I hope you weren’t waiting long,” you tell him, noticing the almost empty glass of beer in front of him as he returns to his seat.

“It wasn’t too long, don’t worry,” he reassures you.

The reality of the situation fails to present itself to you until you and Lando are seated silently across from one another. Your stomach is tightly wound with nerves but Lando appears just as anxious, noticeably fidgeting in his seat and frequently straightening his knife and fork. He’s dressed rather sharp compared to what you’d been treated to in the past, the blue and orange race suit discarded for a crisp white button down and black dress shorts. You wonder whether the outfit you picked out is suitable for tonight, although you cut yourself some slack. When you’d packed your suitcase on Wednesday, you’d hardly expected to spend any time outside of the Red Bull garage or your hotel room, let alone situated in a restaurant that was, now very obviously, out of your price range. The thought causes you to send a silent prayer to whoever would listen that you had enough in your spending account to pay your half of the final bill tonight.

The woman who greeted you earlier approaches the table to ask what drinks the two of you would like to order.

Lando asks for a cola and you look at him in confusion.

“You’re not going to have another one?” you ask him as he hands over his empty beer glass.

“No, I’m not a big drinker,” he replies, “Especially not during the season.”

“So why did you invite me to have drinks then?” you ask, clearly amused. “Are you trying to get me drunk, Lando Norris?”

He laughs, and raises his hands in mock surrender, “Hey! No, nothing like that. I just don’t really drink, I never have.”

“Yeah I kinda noticed that actually,” you tell him. “Even on your podiums you don’t drink the champagne.”

“I thought you didn’t watch Formula 1?”

You wish you could wipe the stupid smirk off of his face as you practically watch the realisation form in his head. “Have you been watching my old races?”

“No,” you retort somewhat unconvincingly. “I found some highlights on YouTube though, and your podiums from Spielberg and Imola were on there.”

“My podium finish in Monaco is pretty good too. I’d be happy to show it to you sometime, though, it’s a shame that you find racing so boring.”

You roll your eyes and laugh. “Shut up.”

The warm glow emitting from the industrial-style bulbs resting overhead doesn’t help the blush settling on your cheeks, and neither does the grin Lando shoots you. You shrug off your jacket and place it carefully on the back of your seat just as the waitress arrives with your freshly poured Caiproska. You thank her and trace your fingers along the cool side of the glass, collecting the droplets of condensation that form in hopes that they’ll provide some sort of relief from your keen fever.

Lando’s gaze is strong enough that you feel him watching you without having to look across at him, it transcends the need for observed confirmation and instead sets your body alight merely at the thought of it. The thrum of your heart threatens to escape the confines of your chest and you stupidly pray that he doesn’t hear it as the exposed skin of your chest flushes scarlet against the dark neckline of your dress. You clasp the charm that sits at your throat, pinching it between your fingers and allowing yourself to bask in the minimal relief the cold metal provides against your warm skin.

Lando wipes his sweaty palms on his shorts and takes a deep breath. “So, that was a pretty crazy race today, huh? I didn’t think I’d be able to hold onto fourth place, not with another Ferrari behind me and Daniel.”

“Yeah, it was crazy,” is all you can reply before delving back into your pocket at what you think is the sound of your phone receiving a message.

God, he thinks, he’s boring you half to death. He finally has you all to himself and the only topic he can string more than a few words together for is his job, treating you like a reporter he’s obligated to unpack his strategy for in the paddock. He doesn’t understand why he’s so fucking nervous tonight, he wasn’t nearly this wound up when he’d asked you out. Sure, it was an effort to keep his hands from shaking as he locked his car and crossed the parking lot, but he convinced himself it was just the gentle breeze passing through the city that set his flesh alight with goosebumps. He was simply excited, more than anything, to spend some one-on-one time with someone his own age, and if that someone happened to be a pretty girl, who could blame him for looking forward to it?

But then you showed up in that dress and suddenly the possibility that he’d see you out of it by the end of the night if he played his cards right became more and more realistic. His head spins at the thought of taking you home tonight. And the next night. And suddenly the thought is replaced by the images of himself coming home to you every night. After months overseas with nothing but timezone-dependent calls he returns to the comfort of your embrace, it’s your fingers that gently scrape the back of his neck as a confirmation that he’s home. It’s the warmth of your body and the lilt of no one else’s voice that cures the cavity in his chest that enveloped him the moment he shut the apartment door behind him all those weeks ago. He sees you seated on his kitchen counter, legs swinging as the coffee brews each morning, and asleep on his couch every night even after you’d promised if he let you pick the movie you’d stay awake this time.

He knows he’s in way over his head. He only just met you, what, three days ago? Yet here he sits, wishing there was some magic rule book that could explain how he could make sure his time with you never ends. He wishes he’d met you long before this week –honestly, it feels like he’s known you for much longer–so that the heat that rises underneath his shirt and the lump in his throat doesn't lend itself to the idea that he’s just some lust-fuelled boy. Your text messages make him laugh like no one else’s have before and the thought that you were watching him this afternoon, after you weren’t initially planning to stay for the race, had him feeling more confident than he has all season.

He knows he can’t tell you all that, it’s way too soon and you’ll think he’s crazy. He has to think of something interesting to talk to you about to fill the minutes before he feels it appropriate to ask you out for a second time, but instead he sits in silence as you refuse to meet his gaze. Your eyes won’t stop lingering on your phone screen, or darting around the restaurant, undoubtedly searching for distractions. Signs on the wall you could read to pass the time until the check comes, or maybe you’re searching for a saviour, a bartender to lock eyes with who’ll answer your silent plea: get me the hell out of here. He’s caught off guard when your eyes make their way back to him, his heart skips a singular beat like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. He’s preparing himself to appear nonchalant in response to the immaculately crafted excuse you’re undoubtedly about to deliver in order to explain your sudden escape from his company, when a small smile forms on your lips instead.

He smiles back.

“Sorry,” he explains. “I know I talk a lot about racing. It’s kind of my whole life at the moment so it’s easy for me to get carried away.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m kind of used to it anyway. It’s basically all we talk about at the dinner table when my dad’s home.”

“Well, what do you like to talk about? I saw on your Instagram that you’re studying advertising, tell me something about that.”

You smile at his consideration and tell him all about your degree. How you’ve always had an interest in design and noticed how it could be used to turn a profit, right from when you would try your hand at creating the posters for your school’s bake sales and car washes. You tell him the story of your first paid commission for a digital advertisement, an intricately crafted Instagram post for an up-and-coming clothing boutique based in London. He asks questions in all the right places and offers his congratulations when you show him screenshots of some of your most successful work.

Conversation ebbs and flows easily throughout the night, the nerves that had you second guessing your decision to come earlier tonight eradicated. The food is tremendous, and your company even better. Your waitress returns with the final bill for the night and Lando hands his card over without hesitation.

“Hey, no,” you say. “Let me pay for my half.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he tells you. “This was my way of repaying you for bringing my watch back, remember?”

Oh. That’s all tonight was for. He felt obligated to spend money on you in return for the trouble you’d gone through to return his stolen timepiece to him.

“When I talked to the police they said they could get me the money back once the guy was caught,” you stress. “So, you don’t need to do that.”

He brushes your statement off with a wave of his hand and smiles when the waitress returns with his card and a receipt.

Your mind mistakes the reverberation of champagne flutes clinking together for the chime of your text tone and you instinctively reach into your purse, hoping to see the screen alight with good news. You’d settle for any news really, so long as it meant you would finally get a clear picture of what was going on, and you could stop embellishing the details of the worst case scenario you had designed in your head.

A 51G impact like the one you had witnessed today can do a lot of damage to the body, whether visible from the outside or not, and you hoped, more than anything, that the helmet and halo were enough to protect Max from anything more than a few minor scrapes and bruises.

You’re lost in a world of nightmarish outcomes until you remember where you are. Lando’s face is contorted in a concerned frown across from you.

“Everything alright?” he asks gently.

“Yeah, sorry, I thought I heard my phone go off but it must’ve been something else.”

“It’s getting pretty noisy in here, do you want to head outside?” he offers.

“Okay.”

———

In the slight summer breeze you observe the moonlight washing across Lando’s figure, illuminating his features softly and elucidating the closeness of his face to yours. The proximity allows you to easily breathe in the pleasant cedarwood undertones of the cologne that adorns his skin, and allows him to imagine the sweet ropy flavour undoubtedly lingering on your tongue from the maraschino cherries you’d so delicately placed between your teeth throughout night.

The crinkles that form at the edges of his eyes as he meets your gaze with a smile are priceless. You wish you could bottle the feeling they give you and save it for a day you need it most.

“I had a nice time,” he tells you, practically beaming. “I can’t remember the last time I went out after a race and talked about stuff other than racing.”

“Yeah it was nice, dinner was really good too.”

“Yeah.”

The two of you stand in silence while you wait for your Uber to arrive. Lando had insisted on driving you back to your hotel but you knew his car would cause a fuss so you declined and told him you had an Uber discount code that was due to expire. You make an effort to seem fascinated by the cracks in the sidewalk and Lando acts intrigued by the streetlights, both of you dancing around the question that lingers unspoken in the air.

Are we going to meet up again?

The alert on your phone informs you that your driver is only a minute away.

“He’s almost here,” you tell Lando. “Thank you so much for paying for dinner, you really didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s okay!” he insists. He shifts his weight on his feet before offering his arms to you.

You accept his invitation and hug him goodbye. You can’t help but notice the heat radiating through his thin shirt and feel his heart hammering between your two chests. His fingertips burn brands into your skin as they rest softly on your back and when he pulls back from you his hands don’t move an inch.

You catch his gaze and feel his thumb sweep softly over the fabric of your dress, underneath your jacket, before his lips meet yours in a searing kiss.

You’re caught off guard to say the least. His hands are hot on your back but his lips are soft and you’d be lying if you said they weren’t sending your head into a frenzy.

The rest of the day’s events are temporarily overruled by Lando kissing you; lying to your dad about where you are, wishing you could celebrate Lando’s fourth place finish with him in his garage, the repetitive questions aimed at you by the police that had you exhausted by mid morning, let alone Max’s accident.

Max.

And suddenly it’s not Lando’s but another pair of lips that are on yours, larger and hungrier and they come with a devastating reminder of what it’s like to sneak around with a Formula 1 driver. The lying and heartache that you remember all too clearly to feel like the kind of falling that jolts you awake from dreams.

You pull back and place your hands on Lando’s shoulders, staring down.

He’s instantly apologetic, bringing a hand through the front of his hair. “Sorry, I thought…fuck, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you say, removing your hands and wrapping them around yourself. “It’s okay, um my car’s here anyway so I gotta go.”

He just nods and shoves his hands into his pockets.

The slamming of the car door feels like a hammer pounding in Lando’s head. For a moment he had you. In his hand was the opportunity to make something great out of your meeting, but he wrapped his fingers inward and crushed it in an instant.

———

When you wake the next morning, your head remains sore from the screeching of car engines throughout your eventful weekend. Though not particularly unbearable at the time, the accumulation of noise over the three days you were at the track had definitely built up.

Instinctively, you check your phone, assuming that you would be confronted with your typical notifications: a recommended Instagram account, a liked Tweet, maybe even a text. You know you’re being optimistic to expect anything from Lando, your mind refusing to stop reminding you of how awkward you had made your time together the night before. Still, you yearn for any sort of reassurement that it wasn’t as bad as your overthinking had made it out to be.

You read the time and see that it’s almost noon. You know that your dad will be out until around two o’clock, already fussing about with work related ordeals in order to have things perfect for the race in Hungary. When you eventually awaken enough to read the notifications on your phone, you find it difficult to hide your surprise as you find a text and missed call from Lando, the nervous feeling that you endured last night returns, sinking into your stomach like a stone.

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I had a really nice time last night :) Sorry if I was too forward at the end, I hope it didn’t ruin your night or anything.

Biting back a smile as you read the text, your mind is put at ease as you realise that he enjoyed himself as much as you did. You’re tempted to text him back immediately and tell him that he’s being silly, that of course he didn’t ruin your night. You wish you could explain your situation with Max and how, if it were any other night than the one your ex-boyfriend spent in hospital, you would have kissed Lando back. However, your plan to reply is thwarted as you notice the notification that informs you Lando also left you a voicemail. He must have called some time after sending his initial text message. Finger hovering over the play button, you are hopeful that it’s further kind words about your time together, or perhaps an invitation for a second ‘date’. If you could call it that. Nevertheless, you push the button.

The disappointed sigh he lets out causes your heart to stutter, before his voice crackles through the phone speaker.

“Hey, it’s me. Sorry for calling, I know I already texted you and um… I hate that I have to do this but I think it would be better for you to hear it from me instead of finding out online or something. I’ve just seen that someone got pictures of us together last night. I didn’t think anyone who knew me would be there but I guess it was still close enough to Silverstone that someone recognised who I was. I’m really sorry, but if it is any help I don’t think anyone recognised you because your face isn’t really in the photos. I’m trying to get them taken down and it’s not really on Instagram or in the news or anything, but lots of people on Twitter are talking about it. If there’s anything that I can do, please let me know. I’m sorry.”

Your eyes widen at his words, breath hitching in your throat as you process it. You replay the message over and over, as if hearing it multiple times will change the bad news Lando delivers each time. Instinctually, you close the app and scrub your hands over your face. You wonder about what exact kind of picture the photos he’s referring to imply. Does it paint a picture that could get you in trouble?

What about Lando?

Fuck.

What about your dad?

Your stomach drops at the thought of him seeing them. Getting caught lying about your whereabouts was one thing, but being caught with Lando Norris while you promised you were tucked up in the confines of your hotel room opens up a whole new world of possible consequences.

As if the universe can read your mind, it delivers your worst nightmare to you on a silver platter, piping hot and laced with venom.

A notification appears from your dad.

Call me when you’re awake.

-------

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