#sorry if some things dont make sense lol
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â°âȘŒâ cw: (f)reader, unprotected sex, use of âdaddyâ Once, pet names (sweet thing, baby, pretty/good/sweet girl), light slapping, praise, hint at (f)receiving oral sex at the end, mediocre writing lol | mdni
toji loves to cum inside you. he canât help himself when he sees his thick load slowly pump down your slick folds from out of your abused hole⊠it nearly makes his brain melt. he canât help himself when his cock springs to life again and feels the urge to stuff you full with another load.
he slides his glistening length inside you again and it makes your head spin. your eyes are screwed so tightly shut as the feeling of tojiâs thick cock dragging against your plump walls was beginning to become too much.
âto..toji⊠canât take ânymore.. please..!â
toji grunts in response to your pleas, but they inevitably fall on deaf ears. âthatâs too bad, sweet thing. youâll take what i give ya. i know how much you like to be stuffed full, baby. youâll take another load for me, for your daddy, wonât you, pretty girl?â
rough, calloused hands keep an ironclad grip on your hips as toji keeps a steady pace, knocking his hips relentlessly against the fat of your ass, taking a moment to close his eyes and take a listen to the sloppy sounds from down below. he opens them once more to glance down at your face, smushed to the side against a pillow, making a smug smile tug against his scarred mouth. he canât stop himself from running his mouth, groaning, âyâhear how sopping wet you are? how messy i make this pussy? tell me, pretty.â
soft whimpers are all that escape you as you try to form words, brain practically spilling out your ears from tojiâs firm thrusts. toji leans down, and suddenly you feel a slight sting on your cheek from tojiâs hand coming down several times on your hot face, bringing your attention back to him. âwords, baby. you know how to use âem.â
toji trails scorching kisses down the side of your neck as far as he was able before straightening out again, which gives you enough motivation to successfully spit your words out, âi-i hear it, i-itâs good, âs so good, toji!â
your sweet words prove to be enough to finally make toji slowly cease his movements, stilling and pressing up into you as far as your bodies would allow, twitching dick abruptly spilling thick, milky ropes into your fatigued body. toji savors the feeling of steadily sliding his cum-covered cock out of you, yet again watching his seed escape and dribble from your cute little hole. he thumbs it around your folds, even pushing some back inside, all the while snickering, âthere we go, baby. what a good girl you are, huh? knew my sweet girl could do it.â
you feel yourself tiredly smile at his praise before you realize tojiâs shifted downwards between your legs, and youâre flipped over on your back before you know it.
ânow, how about i clean this mess up?â
#đ§ž#″ toji!#toji x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x you#fushiguro toji x reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#my first actual smut fic wowâŠ.#IM NERVOUS#be nice to me if it sucks im getting back into writing.. SlowlyâŠ#sorry if some things dont make sense lol#also im sorry if my writing seems similar to other people im taking a lot of inspiration but i truly dont mean to plagiarize or anything đ#its like 3 am when im writing this omg gn#paw divider by hitobaby
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I'm glad more of Tumblr is becoming more accepting of objectums + a lot of people are realizing that they're objectum themselves, but it really does feel like the current "in" thing right now so I hope this support for us continues even when people get tired of the eroticism of the machine
#i feel like there's always been a lot of robotfuckers on here so i dont think this will fade any time soon#but that last bit really is the Tumblr catchphrase of the month so i hope that ppl who arent objectum#will continue to realize that like. we will still be here#does any of this make sense#im really tired and had an episode this morning so lol.#(alsooo... i could go on a tangent abt how not every objectum is into machines & that ppl seem Weird about us liking objects that arent...#... mechanical in nature... i get that those are easier to personify and have some things that feel more human...#... but. idk whereim going w this anymore sorry)
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you say they canât put telepaths in marvel rivals, yet we have some very credible leaks that jean grey and emma frost are gonna be in the game soon.
that being said, jean has telekinesis (and the phoenix force) and emma has her diamond form. telepathy is all charles has, lmfao. odds are pretty low for him, but maybe not zero if they give him telekinesis!
if yall have me say he got psionic blasts one more time i am going to scream HE HAS MORE THAN TELEPATHY . LIMITED BUT HE HAS IT <- he has gone against sentinels and disabled armies with it before HE CAN FIGHT I PROMISEEE
and technically they did give him telekinesis in krakoa (and very weak telekinesis sometimes before krakoa) so .... not my fave move but he does have that ...... and ig they give him a gun sometimes ........ last resort type shit but he has options ..
#snap chats#area man gets too passionate about charles xavier more at 12#also did i not say emma had her diamond form or did i delete that tag#omg no i deleted the tag fuck my life. please believe me i did say emma had her diamond form i didnt think anyoned care tho#but with charles. as i said before. he has more than telepathy ...#limited but .. it exists options exist ... he can also Arguably control machinery#i say Arguably cause im still figuring out how he controls machines he says he does with his mind#then he can Also read like ??? SOME kinda waves in sentinels ??? that was a thing im p sure#BUT YEAH NO LISTEN this is what im saying when i say he could be a support character and not a duelist#as if anyone was contemplating duelist charles ........#lol i love how i call 'vanguards' tanks and 'strategists' supports but i stick with duelist for damage. sorry duelist better#anyway let charles be support it'll never happen because this game hates me but i can dream#listen im just saying maybe charles can have a move that disables machinery or something#like punisher or iron man... maybe like a temporary lock on weapons... just one target#lmao wait im just thinking of sombras ult from ow arent i. yeah fuck it why not he can have a disable-all-skills ult idc vejRLKAERJE#sounds bout right for how sneaky he is sometimes .....#his left and right clicks could lit just be psionic blasts of varying strength and speed#doesnt even have to do physical damage ... mental damange .... what the difference right the brain sayin There Is Pain anyway..#maybe charles could have a sonar ability that lets him (maybe nearby allies too) see through walls for like. three seconds... 50M range....#like yk what i mean he can sense where people are thats my idea...#LIKE LET ME COOK MARVEL LET MEEE IN <- dont ill make him busted or horrible there is no in between
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ok hi tumblr. thought. while i understand that technically yes people have all the freedom to assign clover a gender + pronouns based on personal headcanons⊠i dont really get WHY people do it
dont get me wrong im all for a little fun and for messing around with pronouns, but⊠isnt it more fun to let them keep the they/them?? whats the point of taking that away?
iiii dunno. i just think its strange lol
#undertale yellow#every time i see a he/him clover i take damage#its justâŠ. theres nothing WRONG with it i guess but youre taking away their WHIMSY and FUN yknow???#theres no way in the world giving this kid he/him is more interesting than keeping the they. or maybe i just dont get it lol#its the same thing that happened to frisk when undertale first came out when ppl used to use she/her for them all the time#(and chara as well)#but at least nowadays i see less of itâŠ. why is clover different lol#guys be honest. is it because its âeasierâ?#okay sorry hfkdjf ik the points im making dont make exact sense. i have a billion things i wanna say about this but no idea how to phrase em#also i should mention#i criticized he/him specifically because i see it more often#which kinda adds on to my pointâŠ. methinks some of you only use he/him because you think clover looks like a boyâŠ. so its âeasierâ#rarhg. whaaatever goobye
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I'm pretty much in love with your off string au could you ramble more abt it .,. I'd be extremely happy to read it
Im glad you like it and thank you for reminding me that I wrote this, and giving a reason to ramble <3!! Sadly i don't have anything to really add? But I'll say what i kept to myself i guess!
I keep remembering about one of the things ghostlycoze said.
â
â
I actually REALLY like this idea. I don't think ALL iterators are gonna have this problem, because not all iterators, i like to think, associate themselves with their puppet? And they are all different. But i love thinking about how some of them look up at the sky, and see endless heavy clouds produced by their still giant, powerful colleagues(family? friends?), while they are here, small, and so vulnerable. I like to think that that the longer they stare at the bottomless, grey sky, the more they can't tear the eyes away. How they feel their new heart beating faster now, and it makes them nauseated and more stuck in this moment â because this heart is beating like a mouse's. So fast, they can feel it, they can hear it, in their neck, in their chest. And it's foreign. The sky is foreign. The choking dampness of the air is foreign, the wet cold soil is foreign. THEY are foreign. Can they be even considered an iterator? How? They are not even the same person, how can they still call themselves an iterator?
What have they done to themselves?
I don't think some iterators even manage to handle this. I think some of them, with no way of returning to a previous live, take an easy way out. Or at least risk it â after all, they don't know what the Cycle thinks of not only iterators, but of an abomination like them.
For some of them this is not freedom. For some of them, freedom is impossible to obtain, even when they have risked it all and threw away everything that made them who they were.
Or maybe, for some of them, at some point â standing in the cold, wet soil, becomes a sort of relieve. Perhaps, for some of them, the damp air and the now rumbling, endless sky, become more welcome. Maybe it's better for them, than what they were before. Maybe they'll get used to this, even if it's so hard it makes their head heavy, and their breath quickened, and even when they are not what they were, and never will be. Maybe as they breath in, they'll be reminded that they are no longer stuck because they've been given no other choice, but they are stuck on their own accord. Maybe that makes them ecstatic. Or, yet again, scared, or regretful. Or guilty. It depends on an individual. But overall, it's hard for all of them. And not all of them can or wants to deal with this.
âââ
I also remember I was thinking about «what if Pebbles is saved only in Saint's era?». But the more I thought about it, the more sad and existential I became, and I never got around to drawing anything, because the idea of slowly losing yourself and all your memories terrifies me.
I think, if Pebbles is saved in Saint's time, there is no way to bring him the way as he once was. It's just NO WAY, i can't believe it. His whole body had fucking giant TEARS in it, there wasn't a single place left of him, his neurons are now squashed by 574020 kms of rot, 30942 kms of metal and dead organic and his flesh, and 2933892 kms of snow, he's a home for fauna and flora now. He will never come back. MAYBE some neurons will help?? But i don't think they will, or that they should help as much as they helped Moon.
Pebbles cannot recover fully. Of course, care and patience and not being in his corpse will help, slowly, but still not a whole lot.
I wonder how Moon would feel about him. How everyone would feel. And mainly, how Pebbles would feel.
I already somewhat explored the idea of Pebbles losing his memories. It was an animatic about his life flashing before his eyes, but wrong and twisted, and he can't remember the names of the people he cared about, but he feels guilt and shame, and in the end he gets ascended (right now animatic is abandoned).
But... If he's off string....
Imagine how painful it is to look in the eyes of a person and know that you did something horrible to them, but you can't remember what it was, and you can barely even remember who this person is. All you know is that you love them, and that you have hurt them. How would their forgiveness feel? Would Pebbles feel weird relief? Confusion? Grief? Will it even help?
Will he feel anger and an inexplicable sting of pain when they look at him with pity? How would he feel if he saw people's hope when they think he might remember something, but he just can't?
I already said that "iterator off string is not even the same person", but in the case of Five Pebbles in Saint's time, I think it applies to him even more. He's not the same person even before he gets out.
How would he feel being so small and fragile, but being aware of it, now? How aware is he, really? Has he even agreed to go off string? Could he agree? How would HE feel about the stuff I said earlier? The sky, the snow under his feet, the freezing, biting wind?
I don't like making things all dark and gloomy and no hope FOREVER only SUFFERING though. I think there are ways to help Pebbles and to heal. For all of them, really. Sure, as I said, I like to think there's not much you can do to help FP, but there are ways. And in the end, even though he doesn't have his memories, and he's scared and confused, and he's weak and small, and he's in pain, and he feels cold â he's with people he loves, and who love him. I think it's beautiful. And I think it's an improvement on rotting away in the snow and listening to the same tune until the end of time. And now he gets warm much more often.
âââ
That's pretty much it? I didn't think about off string that much. I GUESS there are also some fanfiction i wrote, but ehh + I'm shy about my writing + it's russian and needs translation + it doesn't focus the on a dread of being off-string and all that, so I'm not gonna show that.
A lot of people left really interesting thoughts in tags on this post with nsh though, so I recommend you to check them out, they are lovely <3
#i dislike hearing heartbeat lol. it drives me nuts#rw off string AU#rain world#talk.pmp#once again sorry if i talk weird i try my best#and coming back to ghostlycoze's tag.. i think it would be really cute if iterator would feel safe and comforted when they're in a shelter#it makes sense to me and its cool! tho again not all iterators are the same. maybe some of them r the opposite - and small-#shelters are a reminder of the thing they once were. a suffocating box they were stuck in#ORRR something else! maybe they just dont give a fuck and they think about a lizard they will stab tommorow!#maybe they cry themselves to sleep at night but there are no tears#mayb
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slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery
(creature by halfâąalive)
(textless + timelapse below cut)
#yellowart#subnautica#i feel like the timelapse is kinda long but also this did take a long time to make#anyways. let me yap about the meanings of all the panels <3#'i am creation' -> the ocean being the source of life and where shit evolved from also a good way to sort of 'set the scene' for subnautica#'both haunted' -> GHOST leviathan; in the BONE fields#'and holy' -> this one was a bit trickier. debated about using the emperor but i knew i wanted to use her elsewhere#also debated hoverfish because its cute and well liked so i thought that would be funny for 'and holy'#also something something jesus walking on water also makes it fitting. in the end though i decided on a peeper with the enzyme trail#and i *tried* to make it loop over its head like a halo but idk how well that imagery came through. still mentioned it in the alt text tho.#'made in glory' -> was REALLY torn about this one. on the one hand i wanted to have like a picture of the code because something something#divine machine and it being made out of code making it inherently holy or something; but i wasnt sure if that would be too#'immersion breaking' since most of the stuff in this is like in game stuff i wasnt sure if acknowledging that it was a game would be#too much. my other idea was to draw a couple of creature eggs like a stalker egg and a spadefish egg or something; but in the end i just#went with the one that i personally thought was cooler so if you think it does feel out of place uhhhh sorry i guess lmao.#also yes that is code from the game. idk shit about programming i just think code shit is cool so i poked though a modding tutorial til i#found what it is they use to look at that shit and started poking around. its pretty cool tbh. anyways the specific part i chose for the#drawing was something under the peepers; i think its the bit that tells the enzyme peepers to do the enzyme stuff like the trail obviously#but also some other stuff. not 100% sure though like i said idk shit about this sort of thing but everything in there seems pretty well#labeled its kinda impressive. and very helpful for navigating even if you dont know shit lol.#anyways. 'even the depths of the night cannot blind me' -> blood kelp trench is i think one of the darkest biomes in the game#possibly THE darkest so i thought it would be fitting. probably my least favorite panel though i dont think i did a very good job#representing the area or representing the bloodvines :/#'when you guide me' -> sea emperor but more specifically her messages to the player telling you to 'come here'#'creature only' -> not sure how well i can articulate this but basically the idea of humans beig animals with animal needs to eat and drink#and the idea of being a part of the ecosystem. modern life tends to make us forget that sort of thing but id imagine for ryley being on the#planet would violently remind him of this with things trying to eat him while he has to try to eat things as well. being part of the food#web. 'creature only' because he is only a creature not non-essential systems maintenance chief; but a creature living in an environment and#trying to survive. or something like that. does that make any fucking sense to anyone besides me? whatever.#anyways yapping over đ
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1
wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)
bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:
#my art lol#synth v yuma#yuma synthv#synth v#synthv fanart#synthesizer v#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#YES I KNOW ITS DIFFERENT but at this rate its the umbrella tag. all vsynth shit goes under there just like on main đ#sorry for the annoyign watermarks i just dont want this to get stolennn/traced it'll b my joker arc. is2g#like thats never happened to me before as far as i know but now that my art is getting 'better' i begin to get scared that it will happen#if my fanart got stolen i'd def sting a little yeah but not hurt AS bad as if someone stole my original shit. THAT would hurt#one of many reasons why i post less personal oc stuffs. although as mentioned above i AM in an oc mood so i wanna draw em maybe...#and stuff like this is a step to develop a PROPER FUCKING REF STYLE bc i SUCKKKK AT MAKING REFS LOL đ BUT I SHOULD GIT GUD#i have a few other refs planned for vocaloid au (i guess???) related shit but they're not done yet. this one was also a wip that i just??#impulsively decided to redo & finish bc i wanted to draw but nothing else i was trying to draw came out right. advantages of many wips#i have SOOO many things i could say abt some of the things that went into this redesign but i dont wanna come off as pretentious đđ#obviously it was primarily inspired by the vimalion yuma design but. there's moreeee that i can't explain here bc tag limits and im shy#i do think i want to try and be more intentional with my character designs now so i'm seeing how that goes as i redesign some old ocs#man though this kind of stuff makes me remember i used to LOVEE doing this stuff. and now its even crazierr given art improvement#uaurhghh my head is buzzing w/. so many thoughts. THIS ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS I GET SO MANY IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY GFD#this is actually from today though unlike some other things i might eventually post. that'll make more sense soon#and fuckkk i forgot the chain necklace thing on the chibi yeah but i couldnt get it to look good. whatever
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I want my art to be weirder (I'm afraid of people expecting "normal" art from me because of what I make most often and them being upset with me if I deviate from it)
#SIGH. sorry i feel like this is like a thought that more serious artists should have and not like. me. lol#but especially on twitter i am afraid for some reason#like i do not want to be so palatable for everyone but like. i am most of the time#its just occasionally i wont be#and yknow. i dont want to accidentally build an audience thats gonna judge me for that#am i making sense#this is such a. NOTHING PROBLEM..#but whatever ive been thinking about it đ#like i want to feel free to make suggestive art and weird sad art and self projection art and gross art#and the best way to feel free is to make that so people know to expect it#but i really just. most often draw very normal very bland things#which im not even upset about its jusf. i dont want that to be expected of me??#literally no one has said they expect certain stuff from me#no one has gotten upset at me#i am just. an overthinker and SCARED all the time#oh well#thats all#vent
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more resident alien posting. predictions... spoilers so beware
well. i'm upset that the shows going to have a difficult time having more serious scenes now. and that's probably what it's going to try and set itself up for.
i reaaaally would have loved to see this show do something ACTUALLY different and good. by different i mean in terms of writing and not necessarily drifting from source material. yes i'm still sour over last ep, but i wouldn't be AS sour if everyone on the show didn't treat harry and asta's relationship as "mother and child." and also if the show didn't take such a nose dive into the type of comedy it's putting out.
ALSO? IN A RECENT INTERVIEW? Sheridan going on to state that harry would lose his first """love""" (more like lust. awesome that a show trying to teach human emotion gets those two things mixed up) and then realize there's love everywhere or something? why does this feel like "weird" people are forever left to the role of outcasts. already fucked it up once i guess the guy's trying to fuck it up more. could've just left it at "he'll lose his first love, then he will have to reconcile with his feelings." but he had to drop in that last corny bit.
like. the show's source is already good. i don't understand all these decisions they're making to try and make it seem "unique." and now to get numbers back they're dumbing it way down. WHICH. BY DOING SO. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE YOUR DRAMA? like how am i supposed to take anything seriously in the show. i *could* in season 1 and parts of season 2, but now it's just whatever. it's too goofed up for me to care. and now people who love the goofy won't give two shits about whatever message you want to drop or plot you want to develop. i dont give a shit about the greys!!! i dont care what theyre doing!!!! who gives a fuck if theyll blow up the earth. none of the characters really care anymore either. oh well!!!
also, predictions kind of. i'm not trying to say this will be the be all end all but it certainly could be a turn the show takes. in one of the issues of the comic (suicide blonde i think), harry is investigating the "suicide" of a woman. by the end of the issue, he catches up with her ex-lover and ex-roommate. they were both ladies. and the girl who died had a drinking problem btw. and was constantly seeing boys. i'm all for gay couples on screen as a gay guy myself but it'll feel so cheap to pair darcy and asta together despite the way theyve been played on screen. maybe its doable. i don't know. but i genuinely could care less considering the overall tone of the show's drifted more towards a sitcom than anything else. i think the small handful of 40+ year old gay wine moms would probably love it, but the vast majority of viewers wont. either they'll hate it and say it's forced diversity (there's already people saying that about the gay couple on screen this past episode) or it'll be another nothing moment to a further nothing story. if anything it'd feel one step removed from tokenization, considering they see harry as a manchild. ableism! show's trying to seem fucking wholesome but they can't be bothered to care about their nd viewers. like "haha look we have a main gay couple!!! what do you *mean* our show has rampant ableist tropes, we have a gay couple!"
i'm just so bummed. the show's cornered itself into a sitcom so meaningful moments aren't a thing anymore. plus the comparison of harry to a child is really getting at me. like he's a grown man as a human, and hes a grown alien thing as an alien. it's such a big slap in the face to any person who cherished the witty and unique story telling of the first season... like.... i don't know.... people who would've been fans of the comic too? i have small gripes about the comic, but at least it takes itself more seriously. but the show runners haaate the people who read the comics. why? i dont know. well maybe i do know. probably seen as too nerdy and weird for their idea of the show's viewerbase. despite the fucking basis of the show being weird and nerdy.
they couldve done the darcy asta thing better if they do go down that road. i'm just saying i wouldn't be surprised. they already scared off everyone who would've cared for something like that, so i don't know how they'll manage to find an audience that cares. everything in s1 was so organic and felt real!!!!! now its just!!! nothing!!!!!!!!!!
im also thinking about the fact that after posting that one resident alien drawing i did, i've had to block tons of people because they're freaks. loud and proud conservatives. man this shit sucks.
#resident alien#ra posting#sorry this one's kind of long#i'm still mad#i'll still keep up i guess out of spite#no i'm not paying for shit either LOL#i'll also clarify that i was in a sleepy daze when reading the comic#so i could've glazed past some things or the connection i made in my sleepy daze might not make sense now#which do correct me on that#but buhhhhh#whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#god forbid a guy have meaningful development in a show he cares about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also for anyone tempted to read the comic its written by two english guys so. keep that in mind i guess.#this is alllllll making me want to make my own thing#guhh#tbvh the show took out a lot of the comics... mysticism... but then the show shat all over the work they did to make it real and charming#flanderization hit it hard#feels way more tokeny. and also harry atp is nothing more than described as a manchild#EDITTING IN THE TAGS THEY DID CALL EACH OTHER FAMILY DIDNT THEY#technically they hadnt done that yet for asta and harry on screen i dont think but the interviews are still there#god what a mess
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iâve always loved hetalia spain and i remember when i got into hetalia in 2017 i used to go crazy asking my best friend whoâs argentinian but grew up in spain about stuff related to spain that i heard in his character songs so im finding texts from years and years ago where weâre talking about cosechas and the fiesta de San FermĂn đ
#because the thing is#i know running of the bulls which totally disavow btw i just didnt know the proper name#of like the entire festival#and cosecha is kinda similar to portugese colheita but i guess i never made the connection lol#now that i think about it in spanish class i lowkey donât remember ever getting a vocab list or anything đđđ#they just expected is to infer based on Portuguese knowledge which tbh makes sense.#lol#and then you just pick up on the outliers like perro and coche. or just say carro because in some places thats not wrong heh#and deal with the frustration that is gendered articles because itâs infuriating when they dont match Portuguese#sorry but in no way is a trip masculine. itâs a viagem not el viaje#wait. el viaje bothered me like crazy in high school but nowadays itâs not so bad whatâŠ. el viage⊠u r growing on me#hws spain#hetalia#aph spain
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AN INTRODUCTION TO "The Loving River", AKA Nazya's story!!
this story takes place in a historic setting in iraq, no specific years (for now) so everything here is subject to some change in the future.
this post is just an introduction to the main stuff and characters in the story! (all under cut, and fair warning, its a lot)
Shanya Al-Malaika:
shanya is a 29 year old poet, going by the pen name "Ta'abata Sharan" and taking on the image of a man so she can comfortably write about her love for nazik, and to be taken more seriously in the world of poetry. she is the mortal daughter of the goddess shaahida, also referred to as "The Witness", and ill be explaining more about her and her lore later.
to make a long story short, shaahida never wanted a child, and so shanya's coming into the world was a complete accident, and to shaahida, a shameful mistake. with that, she sends off newborn shanya to live with her aunt, saabira, another goddess, this one referred to as "Patience". saabira had a mortal husband and five mortal children with him, so the choice to send shanya there was easy. shaahida was sure saabira, with all her patience and knowledge of children, would be able to take care of shanya better than shaahida ever could. but of course, if she was going to give away shanya like this, shed have to gain something out of it too. she slashed baby shanya across the mouth with her divine nails, drawing blood, and leaving a scar. a tie between them both, stronger than their familial connection. wherever shanya was, shaahida would be able to keep watch, and when the time comes, shaahida would be able to use shanya as the vessel for her plan (which i'll discuss later,, maybe.)
shanya lives with saabira's family for most of her life in dhi qar, where she meets nazik, a girl around her age, and eventually, falls for her. the two are worlds apart though, for while saabira prefers to live humble and poor despite her divinity, making shanya live as a young sheep herder, nazik came from a wealthy family. middle upper class, to be exact. one day, however, nazik leaves dhi qar suddenly, and without much explanation, leaving shanya all alone. what made it all worse was this coming directly after a major fight/argument between the two. (this is insanely simplified, for a lot of stuff happens between them here.)
shanya continues to live with saabira, until the age of 16. when one day, as she on the carriage of saabira's oldest son, shaheen, she began to tinker with the oud guitar he always had with him. she strummed a few notes and smiled to herself, preparing to play a small tune. the carriage soon hit a bump, and the oud, with all its heaviness, slipped out of shanyas hands and fell off the carriage, tumbling down into the nearby river, and breaking. shaheen went off the rails at this, screaming at shanya about how expensive the oud was, and going as far as slap her and push her out of the carriage, telling her to walk home instead. its then, when shes trying to walk home, in the most vaguest in terms, she ends up dying. very unfortunate, and a horrible look for shaheen.
shaahida oversaw all of this. she was angered, not as a mother would be for a daughter, but a creator to a vessel. she transforms her own body to shanyas likeness, and makes it, in a way, a vessel for shanyas spirit to reside in for the time being. making daughter and mother, one and the same.
after saabira realizes what had happened, shanya's death, shaahida's work, she is frightened, and she does not tell shanya of what had truly happened to her. instead she grabs her and takes her towards kirkuk, where hashim, her uncle, and saabira and shaahidas brother, resides. hashim the god, also referred to as "The Punisher". after learning of what had happened to shanya, hashim takes her in, almost like his own daughter, and he is the one who teaches her of poetry and art and whatnot.
it is also hashim who sends 29 year old shanya out of kirkuk and to baghdad, along with her cousins, the twins jamil and jameela (also saabira's children), to gain more knowledge and more inspiration after she finds herself in a writing block. and that is where shanya meets nazik again after so long, which kickstarts the main story.
Nazik Al-Khafaji:
nazik is the 30 year old eldest daughter to jasim al-khafaji and his university sweetheart, nadeen. young nazik worked in a library with her mother until she was 14, before becoming a 'healer' or a doctor later into her adulthood. she has a younger brother, azra, only 4 years younger. nazik's mother had been a worshipper of saabira, one of the saabiroon, and as such, nazik aligned herself with that sect of worship too. and when push comes to shove, as an adult, nazik realizes she had been blessed by saabira with the power of healing. specifically, healing people with her own blood, something she couldve used much, much earlier.
jasim's family was quite a rich one, and yet, he distanced himself from them and went against his own family's wishes by marrying nadeen, and as such he did not inherit much of their wealth at all, and all the wealth naziks family did have came entirely from his own hard work and businesses in gold selling and jewelry making. nazik's family was originally from baghdad, however after jasim's falling out with his family, they packed their bags and moved to dhi qar when nazik was 6 and azra was 2, which is, of course, where nazik met shanya.
nazik quickly found herself enjoying shanya's company, and even introducing shanya to her brother, for a chance to get the girl to step out of her shell and meet new people, for nazik had noticed how lonely shanya seemed to be, with how all of her cousins were decades upon decades older than her, and having no free time to spend with her at all. nazik found herself skipping many of her classes to be with shanya, almost getting caught by her father many times, but she simply could not get away from her. in her free time she brought shanya books to read with her, though most of the time she sat by and listened to shanya play the oud, yes, the one she often borrowed from shaheen. nazik hadnt realized it, but she had fallen for shanya, hard and deep. one day, after returning home later than she should, after spending a night with shanya, she came back to find her mother dead. nadeen had been sick for years now, but nobody had expected her to die so suddenly. naziks life changed overnight. in the morning, she went to visit shanya one last time, a meeting which resulted in a huge useless argument, before nazik ran off, going home to finish her packing. that night, her, her brother, and her father took a carriage all the way to baghdad. she left shanya with no last goodbye, no last hug, and that is her one regret, though she does not blame herself.
jasim never quite made up with his family, his parents however begrudgingly gave him an estate to own in baghdad, which they settled in. as an adult, nazik was practically the only one working in the house. jasim had given up on life and on fatherhood after nadeen's death, forcing nazik to mother her own brother, and to grow up faster than she shouldve. and while jasim was useless, azra picked up traveling as a hobby, untied and free of all burdens, he was almost never home, and always off doing his own thing outside of iraq, leaving nazik to labor on her own, completely oblivious to the exhaustion she was facing, for she hid it all from him.
nazik, of course, has her own set of people in baghdad, and one of them was a pen pal, jameela, who she did not recognize as shanyas cousin, and whom she had urged to come to baghdad to meet. jameela had of course come to baghdad with her twin brother jamil and her cousin shanya. however, shanya and nazik would not stumble upon eachother until much, much later after shanyas coming to baghdad.
Shaahida (Al-Malaika):
shaahida, the witness, was the second born goddess from "The Creator", coming only after her eldest sister, huda, "The Gift". sources speculate she was born from The Creator's left eye, to bear witness over humanity, and to help her brother, hashim, the punisher, who was born right behind her, in trials, so he may adequately punish both mortals and their divine siblings alike.
of course it must be explained that The Creator is the one true god of the universe, having created it all with humans and all. in their divine eternalness, they split themselves into 99 different pieces, and the one last 100th piece would be created when all 99 pieces set aside their differences and finish their business on earth, and come together to create a new "creator". which is to say, the 99 lesser gods created were much weaker in comparison to The Creator, having a limited set of skills, and being very close to human like with their feuds and problems and personalities. some say there is no way all 99 of them would ever come together to become whole again, for each of them held such wildly different ideologies, and often butted heads with eachother. sometimes mortals wonder if they truly did come from one beings.
each god has their own set of followers that follow certain rules for worship. some gods have easier rules than others, some want all the worship, some want none. while, worshipping one god means you believe in the existence of the 98 remaining, it does not necessarily mean you believe in their coming together again to be one, and it does not mean you believe in them coming from one being. those beliefs depend on the individual and the family they hail from. there is however another religion made from these using all these factors (believing in all gods, their coming from one being and their eventual unity) called "Istiqbal", in the way that its followers await the future for the 'inevitable' unity of these gods.
that being said, shaahida was never one to love her job. as the witness for the punisher, she did not last long. she kept it up merely 3 millennia before giving it up, opting to wander the world meaninglessly for a few couple of centuries, before settling in a temple and watching people worship at her feet all day. along the way, she found herself obsessing with a mortal girl, a girl named batool, and a worshipper of hers. she possessive as much as she was obsessive, and batool did not by any means hate the attention. until one day, when she revealed to shaahida that was to get married to a man soon. of course, that angered shaahida greatly, and with her anger came eyes on them, and the public soon found out about their situation. it was not homosexuality itself that was forbidden, but the act of mingling with mortals at the time was. hashim came, with his divine punishment, and stoned them, though whether he truly wanted to or not was debated. some even said he had someone else come and punish them in his stead. shaahida was hung up and stoned for a whole year, before her mortal lover which of course died before her. after her punishment, shaahidas reputation was tainted forever. humans misunderstood the punishment, thinking it for homosexuality, and quickly forbid it. which, in turn, made shaahida a symbol for homosexuality, and specifically, lesbian love. she would gain a few followers for this, though not many, and all worshipped her in secret. for the next few centuries or millennia, shaahida wandered aimlessly amongst the earth in a disguise, though she did not dare get close to any mortal during that time.
until one day, it suddenly became allowed to get with mortals. a lot of time had passed, and most of her siblings had slowly but surely been becoming more lax on many things. it was frustrating, to think that if her and batool's love was delayed a few mere centuries, it wouldve blossomed to fruition.
shaahida let herself out again, and began to mingle once more with the mortals. she met a writer one day, a man who calls himself abd al sahib. without knowing of her divinity, he spoke to her of his want to write a book about the witness. she smiled, thinking it was flattering. the two got closer, though she did not love him in the way she loved batool, nor in the way lovers loved eachother. he however, was obviously in love and head over heels. and he was not stupid, he soon learned of her divinity and her being the subject of his book, which only made him get closer to her. a series of events unfolds, many that were out of shaahidas control, and she finds herself bearing a child, a mortal child, shanya. for the first few months she had not truly processed it, until one day abd al sahib pointed it out, grinning with pride at the fact that he had impregnated her. her actions next had been a long time coming, she had enough. she killed abd al sahib, which, of course, was a sin. for gods could not murder their subjects and humans in general. it was fine however, for she hid all the clues. and when she brought shanya into the world, she was disgusted. not specifically by shanya, but the events that led up to her birth.
she sends shanya away and goes into hiding, hoping hashim would not find this out.
she loses herself completely in this loneliness and new found hopelessness she has dug herself into, and thinks the only way to get out of it and to be free is to simply become the new creator, to end the world prematurely. and maybe shanya was simply a tool given to her by the world to achieve this.
with that, her loneliness is broken only slightly, and only briefly by her meeting a new woman. nadeen. they got close over a short period of time in baghdad, before shaahida realized nadeen was already married, and already had a few month old daughter. it was shortly after this realization did nadeen leave for dhi qar with her husband and daughter, and shaahida never had much of a chance to see her again. and there she returns to solitude.
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and thats all for now! this is barely even half of the story, but again, its just intros, and it's already so long so i dont want to add more. i know not many will read all of this anyway so ive only written this for myself so its easier for me to see the info of my own story here. anyway! heres some art for the characters mentioned!
nadeen (left) and batool (right)! this is all i have for now! if youve made it this far, tysm for reading!
#ocs#oc posting#Nazik Al-Khafaji#Shanya Al-Malaika#nazya#yes im giving them their own tags to make stuff easier for me lol#will be adding onto this post whenever i have new stuff or art#insanity#sorry for this being so long i did not mean to write this much ermmmm#if anyone even reads a quarter of this ill be impressed#if some things dont make sense srry i wrote this while sleep deprived#any asks/questions abt the story is very welcome!!!
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WE GOTTEM BOYS
#hate my home lcs lowkey. or well thats kind of strong but they reorganized everything sometime recently and its soooo unintuitive#this was on the shelves but i couldnt find it -- which before i also couldnt find 1 and 2 so i had to go behind the counter#but the guy this time got confused and was trying to set up a pull etc but im living at school so it would only be over breaks blah blah#way too complicated a concept for them and my mom was like double parked outside xyz#thankfully the other guy stepped in and just got me one off the shelf which again. horribly organized im so sorry. before they had it split#up by brand and now they dont but the store is segmented weird and their alphabetical is so stupid like AWW is under W not A which i checked#but lowk W is kind of hidden and then they have a whole section of like variants thats kind of in the way??? just its NAWT the move guys#also i just feel like theyre generally kind of unhelpful and i hate how the store is laid out sm#its also RIGHT across from the grocery store and has big windows aimed right at the comics selection like guys plssss i do not need the mom#of someone i knew in middle school witnessing me here rn. be so fr#i just like the other one better bc it makes sense and is in this little basement under the target and theyre super friendly and love#talking. i go to look for smth and we make a whole lil conversation nerding out abt multiple things likee#i read saga bc of them lol#i bought me historica hardcover there and the next time i went i mentioned to them i liked ww and they were all like#âomg you need to read historia its sooo goodâ like girl I KNOW RIGHT!!! (to the 40yo man)#i mean the one dude there is a total tom king warrior which like oop but hes nice so its okay. let him push some woman of tomorrow i can#handle it lol. anyways like the college one way better but havent been since september bc the AWW drops keep mostly coinciding w my trips#home and all. someday#what was i saying. oh yeah my potatoes are ready bye
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cant fuck with fandom takes that defuck extremist characters. blorbo set fire to multiple buildings killed dozens and will do so again. every incident is accompanied by a rant about some warped issue or pathetic self perspective and a lot of bared teeth. then enough people who watched the same thing i watched will just.. not register that this is an angry personality. objectively bad and toxic. among other things. like suddenly seeing takes about this genuine asswipe being a normal chill person. where did u see this. what happened. where is my genuinely unwell off-putting blorbo. who the fuck is this
#many such cases. no disrespect to AU stuff and hc's and the like etc but this isn't about that#specifically now i saw a poor jinx take that's just the latest thing to act like a last straw for me with this stuff lol#she is not a foil in any way to silco fellas. her freak matches his freak. they make each other worse. theyre not normal.#the dynamic is so far from sanitized and this is one of the things that fictional literalism & the moral panic that accompanies it f'ed up#it didnt use to be such an issue that characters like jinx are just Like That bc jinx is a character from a show to be played with#we dont HAVE to justify her actions through lenses that adhere very strictly to reality bc it ISN'T real#it's a narrative that in bulk conveys âhey wana see something fucked upâ#but from the trajectory of purity culture we canNOT be that loose or playful bc we HAVE to look thru lenses dictating that she's Real#or real-adjacent; ie. she reflects a real person in some creeping literal sense#so now if we LIKE her then she has to in some way be more palatable in the scope of rl acceptability. its so infuriating how this snowballs#let them be Fucked Up! fuck your narratives Up!! storytelling is PLAY not virtue signaling or a morality contest ESPECIALLY in fandoms#also YES they were meant to be portrayed as romantic originally and then they toned it down but the tones are still there. LET IT BE#IT'S! NOT! MEANT! TO! BE! NORMAL! OR ADHERENT TO A SCOPE OF REALISM. NONE OF THIS IS REAL HELLO H E L L O !!#SORRY i'm tired of pretending that the perspective towards storytelling getting a massive hit from purity culture isn't rly off-putting#or outright WORRYING. and fandoms are so weak compared to how it was before radfem language inserted itself into our spaces#SORRY to anyone who wasnt around enough before to know the difference. FFN & LJ used to fuck so hard and so did tmblr#it's harder to have as much fun i think as someone who was So around for that and seen in real time how it's changed now#fandom discourse
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um. uh. hi every body. something evil and malevolent happened in my brain this month.
this is. um. a Jet Set Radio/Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Death joke AU, spawned out of a in-joke that started in a pokepasta discord. my apologies to both the pokepasta and jsr fandoms
the entire basis is the idea that Corn in Future retconned og JSR Beat as leader/founder of the GGs (is beat being leader in the og even CANON?) so Corn and Beat are the Myras. no it's not a joke funny enough to justify how many hours i sunk into drawing these. no attempt was made to change the setting, assign most of the other cast, or otherwise make this au hold up to ANY amount of scrutiny. if i tried to make this actually work somehow then i'd REALLY end up too far gone. also i keep calling myrtle!beat "Meat".
MEANWHILE, IN A BETTER UNIVERSE:,
#jet set radio#pokepasta#creepypasta#jsr#explorers of death#pokemon#crossover#gore#body horror#blood#ask to tag#long post#jsr eod#also i said ''i didnt assign almost anyone else'' but thats not entirely true.#i did assign dj professor k as wigglytuff. but i decided i needed to draw a line in the sand somewhere#and drawing dj k as eod!wigglytuff is simply too much. some mental images really DONT need to be inflicted on others#i also thought about who would be grovyle and ended up leaning towards combo#i sort of think of him as having protagonist swag about him bc of chapter 2 in teh first game.#also i have a running joke w my sibling about combo being meta-aware bc of a jp-only line he has in future#where he tells roboy he wants to save.#i swear to god i had more reasoning than this but my mind is drawing a blank rn. sad#also i guess this would imply that cube and coin would be celebi and dusknoir but theyre not even in explorers of death so RIP#i did also briefly consider clutch as grovyle bc 1. stealing things lol and 2. joke about him being future-exclusive#and grovyle is FROM DA FUTURE... but frankly clutch does not feel like he could pull off being grovyle. in my opinion.#also i guess sitting here now i suppose it wouldnt even make sense in the context of the eod au cuz everyone but the main trio is og jsr#on that note. i had no idea what to do for gum's design so i chose the most awkward route possible i guess. im sorry gum.#in general gum kinda got the short end of the stick here due to being consistently the Second-in-Command meaning she's shadow#I'M SORRY WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#well at least she's better off than yoyo. me n my sibling just automatically were like ''he's bidoof'' ''yeah he's bidoof''#also like last note. but. the jet set radio fandom is SEVERELY lacking cliche edgy over the top evil creepypasta versions of the cast
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also speaking of die drei ???, heres an obligatory ask so you can spend us some more details on the shadow game (opens hands)
aaaahhh so the thing with tsg is. i think about them a lot and i have so many unfinished sketches, but i never really post about my ocs cause 1) there is no actual coherent story and there probably never will be, and 2) i kinda forget that sometimes people are actually interested in oc stuff :')
heres two things from a while ago, which actually you mightve seen those already cause i think i posted them on my priv twitter? but yeah. and if you want a completely random and contextless snippet then theres this horse here. Maurice starts collecting a bunch of trash and scrap metal that people leave lying around local yards and gardening plots (allotments? is that the right word here? kleingÀrtenanlagen is what i mean) and out of boredom he starts building new things out of that, starts out with small random structures until he gets to building these life-sized horse statues. and then SOMETHING happens i just dont know what. i assume they become sentient at some point. also Louis is somewhat haunted by a horse but i think thats mostly unrelated. its just if i come up with any story then a horse is gonna show up at some point
#tsg#the 'building stuff out of scrap metal' thing is very inspired by a childhood memory btw#one of my friends was living close to an area of gardening plots and the people there would dump ALL their trash in this little valley-#in the nearby forest. and cause we were all dumb kids we started carrying all the trash up the hill and building huts out of like-#half-empty containers of pesticide yknow. great things. we stopped after my brother got a really nasty cut on his leg from a rusty pipe#(he was fine btw. no tetanus. but it was still scary)#also SORRY that i cant give anything that makes any sense theres just. so many versions of these ocs in my head atp#the gist is 'they live in a town that becomes somewhat sentient' but thats kinda it i dont know much else#im not great at coming up with coherent things of my own thats why im mostly a fanartist lol#but i do have a lot of sketches that i wanna finish at some point! one day i will!#anyways thank you thank you for the ask <3#the shadow game#asks
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