#sorry if i kinda went on a tangent at all ive just been thinking of Journeys and SwSh a lot; this post reminded me of all the issues that

[upsidedowngrass]

erm... so this is awkward

[danrifics]

I was out of dnp space for a while and these new videos are hitting hard. And I think I've figured it out.

With the loss of the gaming channel it almost felt like they were beyond/above doing it anymore, and I for some reason took that as 'oh they think this is cringe or not good or something to be embarrassed about' so they stopped. And what these new videos have done is completely reverse that idea in my head (which I don't think was actually even real at all) in that no, they loved the gaming channel, they love all their videos, they remember everything so fondly, and are so proud of what they've done.

And that's like, healing? In a way? Cause it was almost like my enjoyment of these things were invalidated due to my projected thoughts about why they stopped. So them being extremely nostalgic is...just really comforting. Like bitch, me too! I'm nostalgic too! Thank you for sharing this!! I missed the fun you had and we had and goddammit. You're funny and I forgot just how funny but it's even better now cause you're free and unfiltered and happy and dammit. I don't know how to handle that except smile and enjoy the ride.

i feel like we all kinda felt a bit confused and maybe betrayed by it at the start of the hiatus cos like we all fucking love dapg so much and its hard when you dont really understand at the time why they actually stopped. like now we know it was a bit of burn out and a huge bit to do with neither of them feeling like they could carry on while holding on to such a big secret, like i dont particularly know what its like to be closeted cos ive been out as queer since i learned what being queer (bisexual really) was when i was like 12 but like i know from other peoples experiences how hard it is to keep it from a few people i cant image how difficult it was to keep that from millions

but now theyre out and they can be themselves they can come back to dapg and actually really love it and its so beautiful to watch, to see how confident they are and how just themselves they are. queer joy is so beautiful and we get to see it every week, its absolutely beautiful

sorry this went on tangent i just have thoughts about and love for them and i couldn’t stop 😂

[lordshortbread]

Definitely agree. I’ve been watching Journeys off and on but it feels like it lacks cohesion like earlier seasons did- I think Journeys’ formula just.. Does Not work well for getting you attached to a plot or to any characters. Like in Indigo League, or X&Y, or whatever else- Ash had a simple goal, which is to get eight gym badges and then fight the champion. This is a pretty good formula for exploring a region since EVERY episode will, no matter what, add to Ash’s overarching goal. It feels like you’re always going somewhere- because you are! Even in simpler episodes- like literally just popping into a route and see what’s going on- it feels like a legitimate adventure. Every town he is going to gets him one step closer to another gym, or another challenge. I’m not going to claim every episode of the former seasons were necessarily good, but they definitely did create a sense of adventure if nothing else; which I feel is almost necessary for a good Pokemon show. But with Journeys, they keep hopping from region to region. From endgame areas to the beginning. It never feels like it’s really earned when Ash or Goh catches a cool Pokemon, or when they stumble upon SwSh’s plot because.. Well, it feels like they just stumbled onto it! Every episode feels like it’s a one-off adventure, and not contributing to something greater. And it sucks even worse because Sword and Shield DOES have a slightly more complex story than Gen 1! And it still would’ve worked perfectly with Indigo League’s format; the plotbeats are oftentimes directly connected to locations! So having Sonia’s whole thing with the two heroes would be WAY more gratifying if they spent actually significant amount of time actually caring about SwSh’s typical progression! Macro Cosmos and Rose and the League could have interesting episodes actually focusing on Rose’s motivation, because it’s a show, and you don’t need to focus upon Ash/Protagonist ALL the time. But then you turn to Journeys, and it.. It just completely ignores SwSh’s story except for.. like, what, 4 episodes to do with Macro Cosmos and the darkest day?? If even that??  I’ve always thought one of Sword and Shield’s weakest points is that it can’t focus on characters too long, because, well.. It’s a Pokemon game, y’know? But a show would perfectly solve that! I think every one of SwSh’s characters are interesting enough with their dynamics with other characters to EASILY carry a typical Pokemon adventure. Journey’s change in formula did not help Pokemon feel like a more cohesive adventure, more interesting, or really anything. It just split up storylines, made focusing on characters useless because you wouldn’t see them again for like TWENTY EPISODES, and the only positive it showed is.. I guess showing a great variety of Pokemon? Goh’s storyline did achieve that ((even if his ultimate goal is just. cut off.)) but I feel it’s really not worth the tradeoff. Hopefully Paldea will manage to focus upon the main story and the characters better than Journeys did- given the fact they’re willing to replace Ash, I’m having high hopes but.. low expectations.

Okay. So I haven't truly watched the anime (as in like. I haven't seen anything except a few eps of JNs) but imo, or at least what I thought the anime was for; was to be the plot the games lacked.

All the way back to the first gen; the anime gave characters and worldbuilding and it's how most people got hooked. I'm sure the anime fumbled alot, not giving exact cohesive plots for the games, but at the very least they expanded upon it, especially in XYZ & the sumo anime (altho they fumbled with making Lusamine good); but now with both journey's and the new one (which from what I've seen is called Pocket Monsters) they're just. Not doing that anymore. They could've AND should've done that for galar but they made it about something else entirely, and I don't even think they finished Goh's mission :(. I'm sure if they executed/fleshed out/ fuck even just made a cohesive story for galar in the anime there would not be nearly as much hate for it as there is still. And now I'm a little worried for Paldea, since it seems we're going in the same direction

[plumblossombouquet]

after 5 long months ive logged onto this account. ive cleaned it up of any cluttering posts. i feel a lot of regret for how ive handled certain things and for how harshly ive always treated myself. i had tried to be optimistic on this blog, you can see it, but deep down i was miserable. this isnt a sob story post, it is more of an update and analyzing myself too. because to analyze me back then and me now is to see growth as a person.

tbh i was struggling with a lot of things months ago and even relapsed in things i wouldn’t have imagined i would have. this isnt for validation at all, i like writing things publicly like this, like a note for myself? idk. 

i know i would make comments about my mental state back then “how it got better” but that was never the case. it was temporary. 

to be quite honest, i will get into the real real gist of it. i had moved out of my parents place like in october of 2022. living with my family has always been stressful, i wont go into that though. my roommate was an incredibly selfish and two-faced person. there were red flags but i either hadnt noticed or ignored them. she was a complete pos, imo, and even reveled in being one. she was even gross and her sister who also lived with us was also gross. i feel bad for her cat bc she wouldnt clean the litter box that much until she wasnt so “depressed”. i am honestly not sure, i put quotation marks bc honestly i feel that she was just lazy as fuck. she was one of those girls who followed trends and went out clubbing a lot and had lots of hook ups. i dont know man, maybe i seem like an asshole but ive struggled with depression since i was a kid and still find energy to clean my cats litter box. granted, i have better coping mechanisms and thought processes and am just in general in a better place mentally but idk i love my cats to death and feel like a dickwad when i even go a couple of hours over with cleaning their litter box. she also didnt try to help with her cat becoming obese basically and stuff, so yea. sorry for the long tangent, my roommate was a dickwad.

after moving out of that hell hole (i wasnt apart of the lease so it was p easy), i think i moved out beginning of february? well, situations happen and i move out of parents place with my bf at the end of february. place ends up being fucking infested with bed bugs and the landlord lady was a bitch and so yea. i moved in and out like 4 times in the span of november 2022-march 2023 i think? tbh, that was all pretty stressful. but i think the good thing out of it was my cats are indoor cats now and i love taking care of them.

while cleaning my posts of clutter, i had a wave of nostalgia both good and bad. it wasnt that long ago but it feels like it. i loved rping hu tao and i think a lot of the reason as to why i could never rp with a lot of ppl was because i was harsh to myself and held myself back. i felt like i didnt properly convey hu tao’s portrayal and compared myself to other hu taos. it is easy to compare because it isnt your writing or portrayal. i could look at myself, be a harsh critique about my looks, but at the end of the day there could always be someone out there that sees things differently. in a more positive and less judgemental light, ig. i also had and still struggle with social anxiety. it has gotten better and perhaps it has helped that ive learned to be more understanding of myself like i am with others.

i love hu tao as a character and always will. and id love to come back to her! but tbh i have fallen out of the game and havent been playing it. i havent played the event including hu tao. i am not sure yet if i am going to make such a commitment to rping again but looking back at the posts made me feel a bit happy. i kinda like how i wrote her, i liked interacting and being goofy. 

so, there is that, i guess. 

[arlecchno]

5 hours of sleep squad …. i honestly dont know how well i sleep but today i had a dream and alhaitham and kaveh were in it (i only got to chat w haitham tho) i was in this gigantic ass library type thing and it looked so cool , the entire thing was made out of dark brown wood and it was so pretty (i actually had another dream where i was in the same building before where i was running errands around the “school” HAHAH) but yeah since it was a library / school type place i was obviously there to learn shiz and — this is the weird part — the lesson was on dreams !!!!!!! and like bro ?? are my dreams becoming self aware ? 😨 i thought the lesson was interesting but alhaitham tried to gaslight me into not liking it (an exaggeration , he just thought i was lying when i said it was interesting) i think he was supposed to be like ,,, a helper to me in the dream idfk it was funky as hell - sorry for going off on a tangent about my dream LMFAO

WHSJSJ fischl is my baby shes one of the first 4*s i got and i kinda relate to her on some level , i too love playing pretend , but mostly when i was younger id pretty much spend all my recess roleplaying with my friends . trying to imitate my favorite characters is a pastime ive always enjoyed , and it honestly makes me insanely happy when people say i kinda act like my faves (ig its smth i do subconsciously LOL) because its like “WAIT . THEY THINK IM LIKE THIS INSANELY COOL CHARACTER I LOVE WITH A BURNING PASSION ???? [inaudible screaming]” recently ive found myself a new genshin rp friend and . dude . id never have thought that playing as alhaitham would be so goddamn fun . screenies for funnies:

(making cynos joke was so much fun too so i included it)

bro i lost my mf 50/50 to jeAN on haithams banner - not even a diluc , tall men hate me ig LMAO and it really doesnt help that ive been drained as hell from school lately so ive been slacking w my fricking primo farming ;_;

YESS the fungi event was lovely but tbh … the entire event i was just yelling about how i wanted to see cyno HAHAHAH - i suffer with chronic writers block (/hj) so . like . [dead alex sound]

GREAT NEWS my injury has healed hooray !!

absolutely , escaping school is great , id probably go on more field trips if it didnt mean id have to do makeup work tbh , i hate doing makeup work .

DINGDINGDING ! YOU ARE CORRECT ! the region i was going for was indeed mondstadt ! aster (my oc) lives in mond and is originally from khaenriah , im glad i didnt draw in their face yet because their eyes wouldve totally given away the fact they were khaenriahn LOL

my week was honestly pretty busy (atleast to my tiny brains standards , i feel like you could also tell by how long it took me to send another ask 😭😭) i had two tests today (that i frickin ACED HAHA im so proud of myself) one of my friends and some guy i share a bunch of classes with also gave me pieces of their cotton candy and the guy told me good job for actually doing my work LMFAO (i usually fall asleep in that class … haha ,,) and one of my other friends complained about also wanting food so i called him friendless (even though i thought the guy who gave me a piece of cotton candy didnt like me so i dont think he counts as a friend ??) my friend also recently introduced me to a series they liked and now im practically obsessed because DELICIOUS . i also recently did heizous hangout quest and GODDAMN he - he is so . im so gay for this detective motherfucker i was practically screaming at my ipad … haha …… heizou is honestly so my type he has such a way with words and i DO NOT know why a lot of npcs / characters in game talk about him negatively how do people not like him - yeah but i also almost went on a full genshin lore tangent to my ipad because of my uncontrollable urge to explain things SMH . oh my god the part where heizou said that he wanted us to be his partner all the time and i just straight up actually screamed , yes heizou ill be your partner forever if yk what i mean - HAHAHAH i also made a collection of goofy genshin triangles on one of my friends old schoolwork in math class hehe

aaaanyways id like to return your question ! how have your recent days been ? and if you dont deem anything of note or dont want to share , if you could choose anyone in genshin to share a house / be roommates with who would you choose ? (since these are again two questions , if you want , fire back two as well !) also , dude i have a terrible habit of rambling like crazy , so i totally dont mind if you ramble and stuff in replies (because i do that wayy too much as well LOL)

— jellyfish

HELLOO TO YOU!!!! your dream sounds so funny LOL in the 2 years i've played genshin i've never had any genshin characters appear in my dreams,,, it's always boring ones that revolve around my life. but nevertheless your dream made me imagine how alhaitham would act around you 😭 and the way he tried to gaslight you LMAO he's so cute and goofy

haha i love how enthusiastic you are about fischl!!! we all have that one character that we have an undying love for to the point that everyone you know in life knows them (for me that'd be kazuha,, every time someone sees him it'd just remind them of me hehe)

THE RPS LMAO “i just find you rather annoying.” THAT'S SUCH AN ALHAITHAM THING TO SAY!!! also i'm pretty oblivious so this just made me realize that the denial is a river in egypt tiktok meme is also pointing out the fact that the nile. is a river. in egypt???? i just found out it's a wordplay thing???? denial (the nile)???? damn i really thought it's like a random word being thrown to make it seem exaggerated or something 😭😭😭 i'm really dumb LMAO how did i not figure that out sooner 🙁🙁🙁 the fact that i know the nile is a river in egypt is embarrassing too like it never occurred to me to piece the puzzles together...

man that sucks 😭😭 i remember when you messaged me on genshin talking about it LOL please humbly accept my offer of my c2 diluc to you,,, he's been in my hands far too long and i cannot fathom the fact that he keeps appearing in my 50/50's (tighnari pls come home i beg). i was on a 50/50 for haitham too and the very loud sigh of relief i let out when he finally came home is insane. i've basically farmed everything in the new area (i have 99% exploration progress now due to it) and have milked my welkin for him so i'm glad he actually came home... the things i'd do if diluc appeared in screen instead should be left unsaid 🤗

YAYY GLAD TO HEAR YOU'RE WELL NOW!!!

aster is such a badass name and the fact that they're originally from khaenriah???? awesome as hell. hope they're besties with kaeya because that would be totally legen... wait for it, dary!!!! (cue my love for barney in himym i just had to quote him)

also very glad to see that your week has been going okay!!! would love some cotton candy rn tbh they're so good </3

and heizou's hangout quest.... honestly same. i haven't exactly finished all of the endings but i've done some and it made me squeal and giggle every time he flirted with us 😭 made me feel like a total loser with his charming words bro i can't believe the npcs in game have such negative views on him because me personally if i was in the game, i'd immediately fold for him the second he breathes in front of me HAHA i'm . not weird at all.

my week has been slow actually, i finished my finals a while ago so we have nothing to do now so i've been doing absolutely nothing at school LOL! senior year is coming up soon so i might be more busy and focusing more on my studies... it's sure gonna be hell for me.

and recently i've been packing up my stuff because i'm moving out!! (hence why i haven't posted a new asphodelus chapter lol i've been so busy). it's been rather slow for me tho since i have a lot of stuff and it's kinda hard to choose the ones i'd have to throw or give away because like,, i love all of my stuff 😭 my mom has helped me with some but i still got a shit ton of stuff to declutter. basically everything is a mess rn

other than that, i think everything's been a-okay! i'm just reaally busy with irl stuff now but i think i can survive through them :D (i hope i do because i am one inch away from going insane). also my mom's been trying to convince me to drive lately since i'm supposed to start now but i have been avoiding it,,, it's scary being on the road and i am far from ready to risk my life 😔

as for your question, i think out of everyone, i'd choose kazuha. before you say anything, i'm trying to not be as biased as i can since like kazuha is my favourite character ever— but yeah, i think i can accept the terms of living with the kaedehara kazuha. he's such a nice guy and although he's a very very lightweight and behind all that charming looks he's a pretty scary guy himself (cue that scene where he threatened that treasure hoarder in the archon quest that he'd brand his forehead with hot iron) i think i could actually survive living with him. he'd do his set of chores, i'd do mine, everyone gets their happy ending. if i were to live with my other favs like kuni and alhaitham i think i would just die. kuni would be rude as fuck and alhaitham would just bully his way out from doing our shared chores. i cannot deal with them. (i'm sorry my sweethearts i'll do you two justice one day)

time to give a question to you!!! how's your progress in genshin going? (it can be exploration wise, storyline, anything) and what's your current main genshin team rn :0

hope you're having a great day!!! it was fun talking with you hehe i've been dying to get an ask since the blog has been real quiet lately, and i'm glad it's you! have a wonderful day ahead :P

[queen-pudi]

More thoughts on HSMTMTS cause i have no one to share with✨

Sorry this is a lot but i just have so many thoughts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr M: I LOVE MR. M HE HAS BECOME ON OF MY FAV PEOPLE SO FAST😭 I love how he is more accepting of the Drama department and he is seen as an actual teacher that cares for his students. Him helping EJ out after he got rejected from duke, which makes no sense to me cause isnt he like a picture perfect student who does sports and drama?, Is so nice to see🥺 Also i love both of the love interests for Miss Jenn but im a sucker for enemies to lovers so im rooting for him

EJ: EJ AND GINA I SEE IT NOW. I COULDN'T SEE IT BEFORE JUST CAUSE I LIKE RICKY AND GINA BUT THE WAY EJ LOOKED AT GINA IN THE EPISODE DID IT FOR ME THEY ARE PERFECT. I love how you can see that he has taken such a turn for the better. He geniuely cares about people and he comes off way less fake and i love it. He went from the worst to the best in my eyes. Also why has EJ become so cute to me??

Gina: A dancer's heart will live in my head rent free 24/7🗣I love Gina for setting boundaries and focusing on herself cause Ricky was really doing too much tbh 😭 learning what Gina said to Ricky when she thought she was leaving i was feeling for her even more than before and i was already feeling for her a lot😭 i feel like she wanted to go to Louisiana cause she has never had to confront a problem before. Like she is so used to moving that she didn't know what to do when she couldn't run.

Ricky: Ricky kinda feels clingy all of a sudden and it is not cute. Ricky to me was so endearing in season 1 but now he just feels like a clingy puppy. I understand though that this is due to the split of his parents and the amount of change he has gone through in the past few months and i like that we get to see that. I dont like the idea that Ricky asked for NiNi to be in show even after she expressed content not partaking in it. If she is happy than she is happy my dude. I personally think Ricky needs to spend some time focusing on himself instead of NiNi or anyone else.

Nini: Im still upset that NiNi didn't stay at YAC but i understand that there was a good reason they didn't do it. Truth be told i dont have much of an opinion on her cause she kinda hasn't been there much imo. She isn't as big as a character this time around to me which im not mad at but still. I do think that NiNi and Ricky should break up. NiNi feels like she is going through a change and needs to find herself. Ricky and NiNi are just not on the same page now.

Courtney: I LOVE HER🗣💛✨ she is somehow even better than before. I wish we could see more of her striving in the theater than as a manager with boy troubles but i take what i get.

Carlos & Seb: i have ups and downs with Carlos but i will never stop loving him. He is just such a fun character and unapologetically himself and i love that. I love how we have seen more of Seb this season and we get more personality from him. Him and Carlos are fucking adorable and my favs

Ash: I love her plot of struggling with not feeling like she is Belle due to her looks. Like just a side tangent but Belle is a cartoon and of course no one will ever look like Belle. Its weird how we put so much empathize as a society that we must look a certain way when the certain way is literally a cartoon. Ash is just a fav of mine and she deserves the world

Big Red: not much to say besides i live for him✨

Miss Jenn: idk why but ive never had an opinion on Miss Jenn. She is kinda just there for me but i do love her and he plots are interesting but idk she doesn't actually do it for me.

North High plot: Lily sucks but we knew that already. If im honest i dont like the competition aspect this time around but as ive stated im picky so take my opinion with a grain of salt💀 i just really think Lily isnt necessary.

If you read all of that then thank you so much for listening to a lonely hsmtmts fan😅 and i would really love to have a discussion! Im very open to hearing opinions and being told if im wrong or not so dont be shy!

[banterpodcast]

hi shark can you talk At me (about anything)

yes yes yes of course i can in fact you can get the Shark Special (in which i ramble about a whole collection of things i love

firstly ive been really happy lately because my favourite band is back! they're called fredo disco and basically they have this big long history i love (also i've been kinda half officially recognised by fredo himself as the biggest fredo disco fan in my city which means the world to me)

basically ok so initially it was fredo and his two mates in a band called disco inc and they did a fun lil album called the boredom keeps me up at night and then fredo was like 'idk man i wanna do my own stuff' so started a soundcloud under the name fredo disco and then he was like nah fuck it i want to bring my friends on this journey and they released a bunch of music and then they made Another spotify called i.am.orange and they released all of their demos on their so for each song theres like 3 different versions of it in different stages of development and i love that i love seeing the changes in lyrics.

anyway during 2020 they were like 'heres a new album' that fucking FLOPPED because it was shitty soundcloud rap and then they were like 'yeah sorry no more fredo disco' and then TOOK ALL OF THEIR MUSIC OFF OF SPOTIFY and i was fucking heartbroken and then they put it back up and were like 'yeah lol new era with this other band called cacktain crunch' and they're finally releasing final versions of songs that never made it past the demo stage which makes me :D cause theyre one of the only bands i own merch for and yeah i just hold them So Dearly In My Heart :)))

OK SO NEXT TANGENT my dnd campaign is starting up again soon and im so excited my characters a half elf warlock but instead of having a contract with a god she has a contract with the cruel government that has left these adventurers stranded on this island. and so she went in like 'yes i am doing a job and monitoring these guys i dont care about' but now shes developed a soft spot for all of them and shes struggling to maintain her Girlboss image and its so fun to play with. i love my party cause we're basically all ex-theatre kids and we just have these really brilliant acting moments and all that. man. now im thinking about theatre and how much i miss it!!! i stopped acting because of anxiety but i stayed doing stage crew and tech stuff for a couple years and its my favourite i loved watching and supporting my friends while also working to make a show run smoothly.

also ok so the squirrels post got me thinking more and more about new zealand fauna that no one else gets to see :( cause basically new zealand split off from the super continent before we got any mammals (apart from like 2 species of bat) so all our species developed without needing. to develop defenses against mammals which is why we have so many flightless birds!

also this. it is so bonkers to me no one else has these!!!! these are tuatara and they're the last living direct descendant of the dinosaurs. like this is the closest thing we have to them and that is so insanely cool to me !!!!!

[squigglegigs]

how did u know you were ace? im tryna figure it out

‼️ warning for discussions of sex ‼️

i didnt realize i was asexual until i was around 23 i believe. i had actually only heard the phrase asexual in passing and i believed it meant never feels anything at all ever, romantically or sexually, so i never payed any mind because in highschool i was Big On Crushes. i pined nonstop in my diary it was sappy and very intense.

but the common denominator i noticed in any relationship i was ever in was dread. dread for when my partner started asking for more that i didnt wanna give. in highschool i thought i was too immature to think about sex so i wrote it off. then college came and i didnt do much dating, just a lot of unrequited crushes, so my lack of sexual drive wasnt on my mind much.

when i was out of school and talking with friends more and meeting new people and i was just entering my 20s thats when i realized something was up. i sat around waiting for a sex drive that never showed up, and most of my friends were openly talking about their partners and their desires and i didnt feel gross about it or anything, im not sex repulsed,i just. didnt think about it with myself. (i had assumed asexual meant sex repulsed since i wasnt educated at all)

it was around this time i befriended @limey404 and we were talking a lot. its funny cause we deal with a lot of issues in a similar way, and when we both had the exact same stance on sex i just thought “oh my god someone else out there thinks the same way i do about this shit.” we ended up doing some research together and realized what Being Asexual means.

that being ace doesnt mean u handle sex one exact way. some people cant stand it and never think about it. some people dont mind it and will do it for a partner to make them feel good. some people enjoy the idea of sex as long as they arent involved. some people masturbate and some people dont. it really can serve as an umbrella for many different levels of relationships with sex.

unfortunately the real driving home point in realizing i was asexual was putting myself into sexual situations that ended very poorly.

it was kinda the sucker punch to accept yeah ok sex isnt a thing im ever going to want. and what was rough was it took me crying and weeping and being so so so dissapointed in myself and feeling so broken for so long to fully accept that i was ace.

every partner ive been with has taken me being asexual as a challenge. saying itll be different with them. or ive been doing it wrong. or “maybe im not gay”. and the awful thing is, i so desperately wanted to have a “normal” relationship that i believed them.

sorry i went on a tangent but my driving point here is i wish i was allowed to be educated in highschool about what asexuality is. it would have saved me a lot of time as well as educated a lot of peers.

a big issue with asexuality is that we refuse to talk about it. the LGBT+ group is so worried about whether were allowed in their group that asexuality is no longer allowed to be a point of discussion without it dissolving into “ok but what about cishet aces”

EDUCATE PEOPLE ON ASEXUALITY. the lack on knowledge leads to so much sexual assault because there is an issue in understanding what No from an asexual means. the doubt, the self hatred, the negativity surrounding the treatment of aces within and out of the community lead to us thinking “maybe this time it will be different”

and it leads to others thinking that way too.

all of this is why im so proud of being ace. i will forever be loud and annoying and in peoples faces about being asexual cause after the rings i jumped thru to just feel even OK with saying im ace out loud? i deserve the right to be proud to feel finally settled in my sexuality. i wish when i was younger i had an artist i liked who was ace and open about it and talked about it so thats who im trying to be.

[macklives]

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

[ptilopseth]

no oripathy fucks with my baby by hozier ft. me

sqrt(-1) bit

The first thing Seth notices as he opens his office door is that firstly, his girlfriend is missing, and secondly, there is no note to indicate why. Dr. Kal'tsit would typically fill in for a secretarial role until other duties called her (and even then, that's if she wanted to), but she's nowhere to be seen either. Just then, and without enough time for Seth to set down his bags and get organized, his phone rings with the tone of one of Sora's newest singles. Seth answers quickly, and on the other end of the line comes the frantic and fast voice of Operator Mayer: "SethIjustsawyouwalkinandIknowit'sreallyearlybutpleasecometothemedbayrightnow." "Mayer, I have no idea what you just said to me." "Med bay." "Why?" Seth has an idea of why, but after all, the first stage of grief is denial. "Ptilopsis." Seth doesn't even bother exiting the conversation properly. One ended phone call later, Seth skids into the medical bay and is immediately greeted by a just-as-frantic Mayer, who, without even attempting to explain why it is Ptilopsis is in the med bay, drags him by the sleeve through a host of other infected Operators, and then to one of the last rooms on the left. Ptilopsis is quite a sight. She's not on an IV drip or anything, but it's clear she's in some sort of psuedo-comatose state. Dr. Kal'tsit sits at the side of the bed, clipboard in hand, writing furiously. Seth is speechless. Mayer is the first one to break the heavy silence. "We thought you could do something." Seth carefully approaches Ptilopsis, Mayer trailing close behind. "Why?" "It was Dr. Kal'tsit that suggested it. Something about Orignium's reaction to emotional stimuli." If Mayer were in any other mood, she would have gone on a tangent about how much she knows of the topic, but now is not the time. Seth pulls up a chair near the bed and sets his messenger bag aside. He looks at Ptilopsis for a moment, and notices the ever so slight twitching of her face; the expression she wears is not necessarily painful, but certainly cannot indicate that this is just another case of a narcoleptic episode. In fact, upon closer inspection, Seth notices a very light sheen of sweat on his girlfriend's face. Nothing good is happening here. "What do I do? I mean- I can stay here as long as you need me, sure, but..." "We were thinking," Dr. Kalt'sit looks up from her notes, "That Mayer could utilize one of her electronic devices to temporarily meld your mind with Ptilopsis'. She leans up and sets the clipboard on the nearby medical cart, then stands to go and get whatever device it is that she's talking about from Mayer's bag on the floor. "It wouldn't cause you any harm, unless you provoke the Oripathy inside of her." "And this will help how?" Seth has an inkling, but better to ask than to assume. "We figured that since you two have been together for...?" Mayer starts. "Six months." Dr. Kal'tsit rummages around in Mayer's personal bag for the device in question. "Six months, that your presence would curb the current spike in Oripathic activity within her system. 'Cause- um, how some infected Operators use music as a channel for controlling symptoms?That's just a form of expressing emotions." Mayer carefully explains, hoping that Dr. Kalt'sit won't interrupt her. The person in question stands up, the device in her hand. It is a thin, blue, and slightly transparent (as well as slightly glowing) piece of electronics that Seth assumes only Mayer can understand. Dr. Kal'tsit hands it off to Mayer for further usage. "How's it work?" "Well," Mayer taps on the screen, inputs what seems to be a password, and turns the screen to show Seth. "It searches for a certain type of Originium discharge- think of it like radiation- and 'links' up to that source. Then the other party just holds onto this device, and the Originium discharge is synced with the other party." Seth heaves a breath, not entirely sure what this entails, or if it will work. "Better to try and fail than to not do anything at all." In a normal setting, Mayer would fire back some remark about her genius, but she holds herself back. Mayer begins the scanning process, and after a tense five seconds in which Seth can almost see the despair on Dr. Kal'tsit's face, the device beeps and registers Ptilopsis' Oripathic signal. Mayer hands the device off to Seth. "Do I just-? Do I just hold it?" "Mhm. Wait a sec, let me just..." Mayer taps a button on the screen that says "begin sync." "Good luck." After just a moment, Seth's entire vision goes dark. He is standing in the shadow of the Originium within Ptilopsis; or, rather, the shadow currently is Ptilopsis, and it's his job to manage it, or at least try. "Ptilopsis?" He calls out in a sort of strange, desperate way, unsure if that's what Mayer and Dr. Kal'tsit are intending for him to do. "Hello." Comes a soft voice from behind him. He whips around to see Ptilopsis. "Are you... okay?" "Can you come here?" Seth steps closer, and Ptilopsis' eyes well with tears. "I-" And she starts again after a choked sob: "I don't know what's happening to me." Seth pulls Ptilopsis into a hug, one which she does not refuse. Seth posits that the "system nexus" of Ptilopsis- A.K.A. the very way she organizes her thoughts- was somehow disrupted, and it led to some sort of collapse of her body. "What can I do for you?" He asks, in a quiet tone as he speaks as calmly as he can manage into Ptilopsis' ear. "I don't know." "Um... I don't know either. But I'm gonna stay here until this gets fixed, alright?" "Alright. Thank you." "Of course." "Can you keep talking?" "Um, yeah. So- I went to Lungmen the other day for some clerical stuff with Ch'en, and in the part that didn't get wrecked during our fifth operation, I saw this really nice flower stand that was selling these fresh lilies. And I saw this bouquet of orange and white ones, and it reminded me of you. And I bought them- this was kind of meant to be a surprise for later- but then I was curious about what they meant, right? So I searched what they meant, and apparently white lilies represent virtue- and that's just you all over- and the orange ones represent confidence, and I just thought that was really fitting." "What else?" "What else? Uh, I found this really nice restaurant in Lungmen the other day- also the day with the flowers. It's sort of a hole-in-the-wall kind of place, but they sell the best vegetable rolls I've had in my entire life, and I don't know how much you like Lungmen food, but I just thought it would be nice to treat you to somewhere after your promotion. Which is also coming really soon, also meant to be a surprise, but... I just need the LMD to verify the promotion, then I can sign off." "Can you do something for me?" "Any time." "I'm sorry, but... can you say why you love me?" "Oh, hell, where do I even begin? I don't know, I guess I just... I feel really safe around you? You always ask me if making an advance is okay, you never berate me if I don't want to participate, you never once have made fun of me for not understanding the non-deterministic polynomial time problem, um- you're just so sweet, and kind, and I don't know what kind of person I'd be without you, and... I really love you. I really, really love you. And I hope that someday, sometime in the future, we can just- be together, without any hurdles, and with maybe a cat or something, and I can get to call you my wife. Or something like that." Seth closes his eyes and buries his face into Ptilopsis' shoulder. "Thank you." "No problem." "...It appears the system encountered a fatal error. Please wait while I finish rebooting. ...It appears there is an external device linked to the system. I assume this is what has caused you to appear within my subconscious. Did Mayer develop this device on her own?" "Yes, and on a whim, at that." "Give her my regards once you exit my subconscious." "Can do." Seth opens his eyes, and blinks as he adjusts to the now-near-white background of Ptilopsis's subconscious. "Why's your subconscious like this?" "Ptilopsis cannot return an answer for your query. Please try again later." "Figures. Um, hey- shit, I don't know if Mayer's listening, but, uh- Mayer, I kind of want out of my girlfriend's brain. Like, personal space and all that." Seth jolts back to consciousness outside of Ptilopsis' system nexus, and sighs deeply. He looks up to his girlfriend, who has just now opened her eyes. A hand grasps Seth's shoulder- Mayer's, firmer than expected- and the person in question grabs the device from his hands to power it off. "Good work, Mayer." "As expected of me. ...Thanks." She tucks the device back into her bag, and stands up. "Where're you going?" Seth looks around to see that Dr. Kal'tsit has also vacated the premises. "We figured you two wanted some alone time." "How considerate." Mayer gives Seth a thumbs-up and exits the room, leaving only Ptilopsis and her boyfriend. "Hi." Seth gives a little wave. Ptilopsis sits up carefully and orients herself to sit on the edge of the bed near Seth. "Hello. My deepest gratitude for your intervention on the spike in my Oripathic symptoms." "I just sat and talked. Already something i'm good at." "Yes. Especially your explanation as to why you are attracted to me." "That was really corny, though..." "I do not think so. A genuine profession of love cannot be 'corny.' And your explanation helped to recalibrate the system nexus as well." "Why do you think that is?" "Being attracted to you has been written into the base of the system nexus. Your explanation, spoken by you, grounded that written protocol and helped to realign the rest of the system." "That's kinda badass." "It is as you describe as 'badass.' I do think it is very peculiar myself, however. And I do have a question to ask of you." "What's up?" "Do you believe my Oripathy has ever affected, or will ever affect, your ability to stay attracted to me? It is quite burdensome to speak in this manner, and it is even moreso to cope with Oripathic spikes, if such an event were to occur again." "What? Ptilopsis, why would I care about that?" "...I do not like to be the bearer of bad news, but I will remind you that Oripathy has no known cure, and that if the Originium within Ptilopsis is not contained by the doctors at Rhodes Island, I may go rampant, or I may turn into a different person entirely." And then, quieter: "Or I may lose my life." "Do you think I didn't sign up for that when we started dating? I love you, Ptilopsis. L-O-V-E. Simple as that. It doesn't matter what happens. I want to be there for you." "Even such a difficult situation cannot stop you, Seth. Detecting emotional surge within Ptilopsis." "Can I kiss you?" "I was just about to ask the same thing." And so the two kiss, embracing each other very gently as it is done. Seth breaks for a moment, just to comment: "Ptilopsis, can I give you a very weird compliment?" "I would like to know what this compliment entails. Please continue with your explanation." "Um... your lips are very soft." "...Please do note that a spike in Oripathic activity does not correlate to being turned on." "That's not what I was-" Ptilopsis smiles lightly. "It was simply a joke. I cannot validate the truth behind such a statement. And I do appreciate the compliment." Meanwhile, just outside the door, in the Rhine Labs group chat created by Mayer: meeboo69420: GUSY meeboo69420: *guys meeboo69420: LOOK

Mayer posts a discreetly taken image of Ptilopsis and Dr. Warren making out, taken just seconds earlier. Saria: Mayer, you were assigned to the cargo escort team today. Aren't you supposed to be with them? Olivia: Mayer, it's very rude to post that kind of thing, even in a group chat. BBQ TIME: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [fire emoticon] Medic Operator Ptilopsis: Mayer please send me that image immediately. I would like to set it as the lock and home screen wallpaper of my phone. Olivia: Look what you did...

[grayisholi]

@ the DND ask game: ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS, I CAN'T CHOOSE!! XD (or if not that, the ones you rlly wanna do!!

BOY OH BOY OH BOYIve been answering these throughout the day and I’m too lazy to reread the full document so sorry if I’ve left gaps or whatever but here it is! All 35 questions about dnd! Matt you unstoppable Madman.

1. A favorite character you have played.

You can’t just make me pick between my children!!! I think I might have to say Atticus Sallow, my faeborn bloodhunter, partially because he’s like 100% homebrew content which I LIVE for, but also because he’s probably the most kinda self-insert character I’ve ever played? Almost became the kinda angsty, brooding asshole character before he was like “get your shit together” and learned that loving people isn’t so bad.

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

I almost, ALMOST had the pleasure of DMing for @no-more-good-omens and their character was gonna be SO RAD and I’m a little heartbroken he never came to be. A half-drow paladin of Vecna, pretending to be your typical good and wholesome paladin? Dude, I love that kinda two faced backstabbing in a player. It’s such a shame it never came to anything (although if yall still wanna play hmu ;))

3. Your favorite side quest.

Ooh, there’s been so many good ones. Probably when i was playing as Adrian Smirks and went off on a tangent to rescue his brother ? That was the first time I ever got to see Adrian’s more raw and emotional side beneath the suave mask he wears and it was fun to explore his character in that way ^.^

4. Your current campaign.

That I’m DMing? It started inspired by Guy Fawkes and was gonna be “your party blows up parliament” but I got bored of following historical accuracy so it ended up being “blow up the palace in a magical city that just happens to be called London”. I accidentally wrote myself into a hole with this campaign tho, so once they’ve finished this arc I’m handing over the DM hat to my sister @philosophical-wanton because she seems to love it and I kinda miss being a player lmao. I can’t wait for it.

5. Favorite NPC.That I’ve written? Probably Hai Shen, the youngest son of a group of circus performers who were killed and the party got blamed for their murder. He had such a great attitude and his dynamics with the party kicked ass. And the twist that he was actually dead the whole time and it was his soul that had stayed behind to help solve his family’s murder? ICONIC.

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

NPC death would probably be Hai Shen, actually. After the party had brought the real killers (A cult to the demon Prince Orcus) to justice, Hai’s time on earth had come to an end. He had really beautiful moment with the party before being reunited with his family. Alternatively, the time I broke my entire party’s hearts? “Artagan’s staff comes cracking into Ellios’ chest, forcing him onto the ground. Artagan raises his sceptre in hand, pointing it menacingly at the young prince. And for the first time, you see him. Like, REALLY see him. He’s not the strong and powerful leader you’ve all come to know him as, he’s not Prince Ellios of the Four Realms. He’s just a boy. A boy who is much too young to be involved in such a grand scheme. And the fear in his eyes. You see the fear he’s managed to keep buried for so long, finally coming to the surface. And then? You don’t see anything, aside from his cold body hitting the ground.” I got punched three times for that moment, but GOD was it worth it.

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

Like in game? A healthy lil bit of vandalising the local law enforcement buildings is always a good time.

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

Aw man, how can I pick ? I gotta say, that one time we, a level 6 party, managed to take down two earth elementals was pretty rad. The DM kind of expected it to be one of those encounters that we saw and immediately tried to run from, but what she didn’t take into account was that ALL of us had chaotic alignments so we just went crazy. The DM was rolling really badly (thank God) and we were getting really creative (“I use the produce flame centripetal to light my bottle of ale on fire and create a molotov cocktail” “you do WHAT”) and after like an HOUR we won and it was amazing. The rush I got from that victory was better than any drug my dood.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

I know I say it a lot, but I legit can’t choose. There’s so many great things about ttrpgs that a lot of people don’t really think of. The creative fulfilment I get from a session is incomparable, the friendships you can build that you couldn’t form in any other way. And like, not to get too real for a sec here, but I grew up with undiagnosed autism and didn’t understand how a lot of social situations worked, and DnD was such a good mechanic for me to try communicating with people without many real world consequences, and I appreciate that experience so much. It’s just such a great thing my dood.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

Can they be the same thing lmao? I mean, I’m obviously partial to Count Cassius, the vampire lord that Adrian slept with lmao. I also always appreciate a good beholder, until I get hit with three disintegration rays IN A ROW.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

We’ve got kind of a monthly schedule with my main campaign, and I manage to get a couple online games in-between them, but honestly I’d kill to be the kind of group that got together every weekend.

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

Oh MAN. “I say we do this.” “Yeah, but that’s coming from the guy who decided to tie 3 50ft ropes together to escape the palace.” “iT wOrKeD dIdN’t iT ???” i.e that time I forgot I gave the gnome rogue flying boots so when I planned for them to get arrested at the palace, they managed to escape by tying their ropes together, sending the gnome with it to the top and climbing the wall. I had to improvise the rest of the session. Also “FLINTON BELINDA SKINTON” bc as a role-play exercise I got my party to come up with rumours about their characters and the gnome rogue called Flint AKA Flinton B Skinton decided that one of their rumours was that the B stood for Belinda, and it was GLORIOUS.

13. Introduce your current party.

My current group consists of Flinton B Skinton, gnome rogue. He’s a quick-fingered, silver-tongued gay disaster who can sell anything to anyone. He’s a charming flirt, and a veritable genius in his own right. Kava Daardendrian, dragonborn ranger who loves nothing in life more than her animal companion - her pig Snortin Norton. She’s fun and sassy and shameless, she’s great. There’s Sparks, the fire Genasi Monk, and full embodiment of a disaster lesbian. She drinks, fights, and gets laid, and doesn’t deal with her problems in healthy ways. An icon. And finally Milo, the halfling Bard who falls in love at the drop of a hat and just wants everyone to get along. I call them “The Shenanigang” and I love them.

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

A party I joined late? We had Sylvia Moondrop, the half elf sorcerer who was just trying to get along with everyone despite what the world seemed to want. Orland the half orc bard who was just trying to shake off the Barbarian stereotype his family left him with. Rose Morleen, air Genasi fighter who was literally born to kick ass and take names. I joined as Mason Terrai, the Earth Genasi Alchemist with a perchance for explosives. The very definition of chaotic neutral.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Of COURSE. What manic wouldn’t ?

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

I used to play online a LOT back before I had friends who were into dnd, but I VASTLY prefer playing in person. The chemistry that’s built not only amongst the players, but also the actual characters themselves is unparalleled. It’s just such a great experience.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

Anyone can attempt anything, the only restriction is the dice. Don’t question the DM unless it’s out of session, then bully the dm on the groupchat until he’s so pissed off he gives you inspiration just to get you to shut up. And also canon lore and canon rules are bullshit when it’s convenient. That’s about it

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Our ranger, God bless her, has her pack pig Snortin Norton, sold to her by one Flinton B Skinton. And Flint really wants a monkey, he’s been trying to find one for ages.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

Not really ? I’m the kind guy that if my dice rolls a 1 I will bench it for a bit, but tbh all my dice are cursed af and I’ve kinda just learned to roll with it by making my characters canonically terrible at everything lmao.

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

Aw man I can’t remember when or how, it’s been so long. I had a couple friends who were kinda into it, but all the games they tried to run were complete disasters. I only really started playing I’m the past year or so? Maybe a little more ? Adrian was my first character, and he was a very RP heavy character in a party of tanks and they all hated him but MAN was it fun.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

Oh all the time. One time my character was careless and didn’t check for traps on a legendary artefact and it lead to the death of a party member. One time my character got angry at his party and walked out. My characters don’t make good decisions, but that’s part of the fun.

22. What color was your first dragon?

White! I thought it was silver at first and went to go say hi, and it clawed me within half my HP straight away lmao.

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

Oh dude, original all the way. I live for that shit.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

Depends on the session, but usually a good few hours, couple of days if I’m DMing.

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

“You wake up in a mysterious forest. The strained autumn sun shines through the trees. The only thing you can see it each other, the trees, and an old sign post leading to a path that says "Myrrill” on it. What do you do?“ "We walk in the opposite direction of the sign deeper into the forest.” “…of course you do.”

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

I wrote a full carnival show one time for them to watch, and then it got derailed when a horrific monster attacked. But writing all the characters and their acts, and watching my players get entranced as I described it ? Magical, my dood.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

I live and breathe homebrew content. I don’t know what my games would be without it. I LOVE homebrew.

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

I make some pretty sick characters if I do say so myself, so I throw them in a LOT.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Oh dude, role play all the way. Fighting and killing stuff is great, but role-play is just so good. We can go from laughing with a bartender to crying over a backstory reveal and it’s just beautiful.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

Depends on the party, but i find the best players are a little bit of both XD

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

Official ? I’m a fan of the hexblade warlock? Bards are always a good call, and to be real playing monks make me feel like an absolute badass. Race wise, there are just so many. If we’re only talking players handbook stuff, half elf is always rad. Outside of that? I’ve been researching the Shadar-Kai lately and I’m LIVING. They’re so rad.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

What would you call the disaster gay? I don’t really gear my characters towards usefulness in combat, so it’s just whatever the class happens to lend itself to.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

I usually write my character, personality, backstory, alignment etc, before I even pick a class or even a race. I basically just make OCs and apply them to dnd rules, and it’s SO much fun. 10/10, would recommend.34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

FLAVOUR. My party usually hates me, but what I lack in combat utility I more than make up for in creative out of combat skill checks XD.

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

Boi, I even RP my combat, and the great thing is it rubs off on my party too. I’ll have a really low initiative and everyone else will be like “I attack and do 10 points of damage” but then on my round I’m like “I use my staff to leap across the battlefield towards the opponent and launch out with a spinning kick to their jaw” and everyone else is like “oh, okay, that’s what we’re doing.” and the battle becomes so much more dynamic and cinematic, it’s amazing !

[cyanidefilledcandy]

Does me only doing one small doodle a day count as me drawing everyday? :/

I mean, it’s more than what I’ve been doing, right?

I’m also used to taking literally hours to finish one drawing, but I’ve heard that if you’re used to doing that, the best thing for you to do is actually to just draw as fast as you can. Which is what I’ve been doing lately, though the quality is surely not there... And I think a large part of me (that part that sees everything as a chore, even things I love) feels as if I’m not putting any real effort into it....because I’m kinda not... :/  Oh well....baby steps, right?

On the up side, I haven’t actually designed anything in a while, so that was nice to get done. And I actually really like it! It’s a costume for a dance I want to do one day. (I keep trying to ignore that voice in the back of my head that’s telling me my time has passed.) Oh well....I owe it to myself to try. And a comment that someone made on here from my early, early days of Tumblr has stuck with me all these years. I said that I wanted to take ballet classes even though I knew it would never lead to anything; I just love it. That person commented that “hey...you never know where it will lead”. And they’re right. In this digital age where YouTube and Instagram exist, the opportunity is there. One of my biggest downers about doing adult ballet class was that even if I got good, no one would ever see me perform. Of course, I’d do it for the love of the art regardless, but still...I actually loved performing. But, there’s no reason that has to be a thing now, and even if I don’t reach a frick ton of people, I’d be happy if a dozen saw and enjoyed it. 

But, anyway, kind of went on a tangent here... Point is, I drew something today. And it was a design I really like and want to see brought to life. I have plans to actively chase my dance career. (Completely unrelated; kinda rambling now... Sorry.) But, yes. I drew SOMETHING today when I was seriously about to say screw it and skip today since I did one yesterday. But, again....baby steps.

And once I get a chance, I’ll post them as well as a past one I did. I may just do weekly doodle dumps since I plan on drawing every day. (Don’t expect much though. Right now, I’m just trying to get back into the habit of doing ANYTHING.) Not sure if I’ll post the designs though. Not that they’re terrible; I like them a lot, and that’s just it. I like them a lot and don’t want them stolen.

[anapologethicc]

hiiiiiii love !!! sorry yesterday's message was sent a bit later had a busy mid afternoon but hopefully you'll get this one ok <3 (also very happy you're enjoying these!!) ahhhhh i had a feeling you'd like the anonymity (<- is that a word lol) of this all!! so thank you for not minding me staying anon for the time being xx

oh i knew you were a leo and love that, leos are truthfully one of my favorite signs !! (and yes unfortunately you do know my sign hehe) also your teaching career, ive seen your posts every now and then about teaching and your thoughts on it (and can i just say you're going to be a great teacher? also i know five yearsis a lot but you totally got this ok?) OMG YOU USED TO TAP DANCE???? I LOVE THAT !!!!!!! that's so cool and unique !!!! have you thought of maybe doing it again once uni workload isn't a lot?

ok ummm im trying to think of what i can tell you about me that is something i haven't posted about before... oh i know idk if it's interesting or not but since i was born and until my mid teen years i moved a lot (cant say where though (: ) and umm sorry idk why i can't think of other things but since you mentioned you did tap dancing, growing up i did so many different sports cause i couldn't commit to one for more than two years more or less (ive done swimming, gymnastic arts, dance, cheerleading, soccer football basketball and tennis)

i love you dearly💕 hope you're having a great weekend!! i'm sending you my biggest hug and all my kisses xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

hihi sweetheart <33 omg no dw abt it! i just missed u a teeny bit hehe. i'm literally enjoying this so much. and i think anonymity is a word. for a second even i was like wait...is it?? ahahha. (i swear i haven't shut up about how sweet you are and how wonderful i feel to anyone who will listen)

once again. response under the cut. because as usual i went off on multiple tangents but enjoy my lil story timeee babe <333

ughh okayy those were thing you alrdy knew about me. i do feel like i talk a lot about my life on here ahaha. (also omg ty for that!! i feel so nervous at times. where i'm like can i really do this or am i just screwing with myself. but THANK YOU SM MY LOVE!!!) AND YEAH I USED TO TAP!!! so much fun. and i wanna do it again sometime but like i don't really talk to the girls who i used to tap with anymore and stuff. so it's kinda bleh to do it alone. but maybe one dayy :)))

ouuuu so much travelling!! did you like moving around a lot? and do you like where you are currently? i swear i'm trying to keep my questions as vague as possible and you don't have to answer if you don't wanna obvs. dw abt it :)) ayeee you did so many sportsss!! ohmygod. also i've done swimming before. quit within a year. you'll see i have a long list of things i've quit. BUT ALSO GYMNASTICS. that was one thing i always wanted to try but never got to unfortunately. how was that experience?? also oof. sports. i stayed away from sports. i did get recruited for athletics and volleyball once upon a time. but i chose drama and dance over that. so you can see where my priorities and interests lie.

also fun fact! i've never played a female role in any of the dramas i've been in!!! like literally never. should've had hindsight and seen i'd turn out to be a non-binary lesbian but meh. ok so. when i was in like 5th grade. we did this french play in class (i've done french since i was 7. so for about 12 years. also a fun fact abt me) but it was about how this princess rejects all the princes because they're bad and she chooses the gentle prince at the end. and what happened was that none of the girls wanted to play the prince character cause we didn't have enough boys. so i volunteered to play a prince. i know i know. very generous of me. and that's how my long line of non-female roles started. so in high school. we did midsommar night's dream this once and i played one of the little henchmen gremlin type things. and then we did a short narnia play where i played Edmund. that was one role i quite enjoyed playing. and then we did this one other play about like pirates and stuff. and i ended up playing the role of a little boy. once again. who's pants get torn in one of the scenes. fun times those were. also both of those times i played a main character and both of those times we won first place in the drama competition!!!!

and dance ohgod. dance was like my little pocket of joy in a dreadful high school life. in our school you had to join at least one extra curricular and i picked dance till my very last year. and it was so much fun. we used to have classes every saturday morning. and i used to be the first one to arrive to class. my parents were like hell bent on getting me to quit because they wanted me to focus on studying. but it was the one thing i was stubborn about. eventually when i was in like 11th grade. my parents told me to quit. and on multiple occasions i've sneaked out early on saturday mornings before anyone was up to attend dance classes. that's how much i loved it. and cause i live in hong kong. my music teacher found bollywood songs and dance so interesting so me and my best friend used to have a dance duo. and we used to choreograph and perform all by ourselves. so much fun.

but ever since i've gotten to uni i haven't had the chance to do either. might have chance to do drama again (fingers crossed. heard some talks about the drama club at campus and things. so maybeee!!) and the dance. hais. i've only ever performed in groups or in duos. and every since uni began me and my best friend kinda drifted apart and i'm a codependent piece of shit on stage. so haven't properly dance in a while either. but hopefully will get back into both of those things soon!!!

also i'm just now realizing how much i've gone off about myself. but i hope you enjoyed reading it all!! you can ask me stuff if you want. clearly i love to go on about myself lmaoo.

also can i just once again say how much i adore you for sending me these asks everyday and being my valentine <33 (also literally me being all blushy and giggly because i've never had a valentine before) because i love and appreciate you so much for making me smile everyday!!! you are an angel and an absolute sweetheart my love <333 you deserve everything warm and lovely and wonderful in this world <3333

i love you. and here's another kissy for you <3 i hope you have a wonderful day/night wherever you are!! you deserve the world and everything more for giving me these little moments of joy <33333

(also if i think you are who you are. i think i might've had/have a mini crush on you just based on our interactions and your vibe <33 and also was terrified of interacting with you when we first became mutuals. and if you're not i really do look forward to getting to know you mwa mwa. you don't have to respond to this. just me doing my guessing.)

[lavidaatravezdeunavion]

Week 2

June 22

We took Saturday pretty easy since we were out pretty late on Friday. We went out to lunch at a cute little cafe called “Casa muamor,” I got a pasta and pesto dish which was alright id give it a 7/10 the sauce to pasta ratio was kind of off and the sauce was really oily. I also ordered an orange juice which like all the other places we have been was delicious. After lunch I went back to the residencia and just hung out with my roommate and some of the guys from here. That was pretty much all we did on Saturday nothing too exciting. 

June 23

We woke up to go get brunch and we went to “El Galeon,” the restaurant that's right around here. I got a “Pollo Completo,” sandwich which was huge and it also came with a side of fries. Besides the portion being huge and not being able to finish it was delectable and the restaurant has redeemed itself from that subpar salad I got from there the previous time. I also ordered an orange juice (what's new). 

After lunch, some of us went to San Telmo to go to their version of a flea market with a bunch of artisanal things. The Market goes for about five blocks and we went around 2:30 and let me tell you it was PACKED. It was really cool to see all the things people had, my one gift that i want to get for myself is something leather whether that be a jacket or a purse since leather is something Argentina is known for. The only thing that one should be very careful to watch out for pickpockets since there are so many people and usually you can't be distracted looking at cute stuff, one thing I did was make sure my cross body was over my body then i put my jacket over so that my cross body wasn't really exposed. 

After walking down the whole market it took us about two hours and then we decided to head back to the residencia. I took a mini nap and then got ready for dinner with our other professor. We all went to this restaurant called “calden del soho.” It was really nice but the prices were pretty expensive (thank god this was one of our program meals hehehe), I got a flank piece of pork. It was actually funny because i had no idea what piece of meat to order and my friend ashlyn who is now a vegetarian was helping me pick lol the irony. Any way when my plate came out my mouth was droooooling, it smelled so good and let me tell you the moment i put that first piece in my mouth i was in heaven.

 I also got some of our professors salad which was just a normal “ensalada completa,” we also got some wine to accompany our dinner. I'm not the most knowledgeable on wine but i know i do like red wine. The bottle we got was “ Saint Felicien Malbec,” I had three glasses so I guess you could say I liked it.

For dessert I got a “Flan,” for those that don't know it's basically a custard with caramel. I feel like you can easily mess up flan but thankfully it was made to perfection. We were also celebrating our friends Tyler’s birthday! So happy birthday again tyler! After dinner we went home and got into bed since we had school the next morning.

June 24 

Today we had school and I feel no matter how much sleep one gets mondays will always be difficult. Thankfully we only had class till 1:30pm. After class, some of us went to “Che Taco” a place right off of the “Independencia” stop on the blue line. I got some tacos de carne, let me tell you I didn't think I was gonna be satisfied because mexican food in Argentina some people would question it. I was pleasantly surprised! We also got some guac & chips and they were finger licking good, i also got a Jugo de Jamaica (hibiscus) and it was too good to be true.

After lunch we went back to the residencia and I took a little nap (no surprise there) and then got myself ready for dinner. We went to a restaurant in Palermo called “Moriela,” I had the absolute pleasure of seeing my longtime friend Becca and she came with us. We shared a margarita pizza and a bottle of red wine (not sure what kind but it was great). 

After dinner some of us went to get some drinks to continue celebrating our friend's birthday. We went to Ragnar the bar we had previously went too, we stayed for about an hour or two and then went on home since we had class the next day.

(my friend Juan says he loves the rain... lol)

June 25

Today after school we went to go get Empanadas from a place down the street. I got one cheese and onion, one chicken and one steak. My favorite one was surprisingly the cheese and onion one.   

on the way home we had a mini photo shoot.

And then just before we got home I had to stop by a grocery store to look for an item targeted to kids and see what the nutrition labels looked liked and if they were easy to find. On top of this we had to see what the regulations were compared to the ones in argentina. It was interesting because you see how much power there is in something so small. The labels were so small and kind of hard to find mean while here in the usa everyone knows where they will be placed and legible. 

When we finally made it home people were gathering so that we could cut into the cake for tylers birthday! We didn't have plates so people were kinda just eating it out of the cartoon it was a cute bonding moment :’). 

For dinner we went to a restaurant here in palermos “EL pinguino de palermo”.  I got a milanesa completa, and a side of puree de papa, and wait for it...and to drink i got orange juice. It was a 7.45/10. I've had better milanesa to be honest but it also wasn't the worst ive had. 

After dinner we just chilled and then I went to bed.

June 26

Honestly, the best thing to see when you are walking to school at 8:40 am in like forty-degree weather is a dog walker with so many cute dogs. He was really doing the damn thing. He is brave because although these dogs and a lot of the dogs they are well trained but i still wonder if something just set them off and they all go running in one direction he is flyiiiiiiin. 

After seeing the dogs before class you just know after class is going to be great. Our other professor who is also on this trip took us to an empanada place and i got 2 cebolla y queso, a carne one and a Pikachu one.  Cebolla and queso one had just a bit too much cheese for my liking. The carne one was like a 7.4/10 i feel like it was just good, nothing too crazy.

Also a little tangent about argentine napkins... like what's up. You can't really call these things napkins i think it's deceiving. 

Anywaysss after lunch we got back on the subte and got off at plaza italia which is like two blocks from our resi, and walked to the Eva Peron Museum. The only thing to say is *Mind Blown*. If you like history stuff and museums then I highly recommend. She was so impactful on the Argentine history and it's insane how she started out as an actress and went to creating programs to uplift women and children is great. We can each have our own opinions on Peronismo but if this woman had people grieving for 15 days you have to agree that she did something.

For dinner I went to this pay by the weight place and it was great. I got some noodles, fried rice, orange chicken and lettuce & cucumber and put some lime juice and salt over it.

June 27

After school rachel and i went to the travel agency to try to book our trip we took the subte like three different times cause of GPS lol. But on the way we got some McDonalds and i got a “cajita feliz” (happy meal) and it was so cute. The yogurt it came with was so small and it was just great. I also got a toy :) ! Anyway we also stumbled on a cute boutique where rachel got a cute shirt and leather skirt. The owner also gave me some tips for my upcoming vacation with my mom and dad to patagonia at the end of the program. We went walking a couple blocks to the travel agency but they weren’t that much help and it was just no point in going but since we got micky d’s and advice it wasn't that bad. 

Here is some candy i got it's their version of laffy taffy but much softer, it's good!

Our friends from the resi took us to this really cute garden we saw some ducks that got a little too close for comfort and they had these statues all over the park so it was really cool. 

For dinner we went to this burger place in Palermo “Burger Joint” i got “la Jamaica”. I'm not the biggest fan of burgers but it was so fricken good! It had bacon on it cheese lettuce and honey mustard and more. I got it with a side of fries and pesto-mayo. I was so happy with this meal and i was so mad I had to tap out it's a really big portion i think i definitely would have shared but it just tasted so good.

June 28

After school Rachel and I got a tostada (bread with ham and cheese ) from the cafe right by our resi, “Banova” (okay it's actually an ice cream store but i didn't know that because ive never seen anyone get ice cream from there lol)

We later went to cronico a bar in plaza serrano to watch the argentina - venezuela game (sorry bella lol). I don't know why i got just a salad but it wasn't even all that good. Again for my liking it had a bit too much cheese which I think was provolone so it was just a bit odd for me. I would give it a 7/10.

 After the game, my friends and I walked to the bakery our resi and got some pastries. They were delicious. We also played some uno and lets just say it got pretty competitive. 

After this I went straight to bed and got excited for our trip to Puerto Iguazu!

June 29

I had to get up at 6am because I hadn't packed for our trip and we had to be out the door by 7am. I somehow packed and got ready without being fully awake. We all piled into a bus and headed for the local airport (AEP). Let me tell you I was soooo excited to know that we'd be going to somewhere semi warm for the weekend. I was even able to pull out my bathing suit for a little but of tanning.

We got to the airport and got checked in and were ready to be on our plane around 8:30 and when we got to the airport we landed at about 10:30. 

Once we landed we headed to our hotel St. George. We tried to check in but the rooms wouldn't be ready by 2pm so some of us went to a pay by the weight place by the hotel i got a piece of fish milanesa, mashed potatoes, gnocchi (i now know this is not for me), some yuca and broccoli. It was good not sure really how to describe it but you wouldn't be missing out if you didn't eat there... 

After we ate we walked on the main road and stopped to get some ice cream. This is really sweet but if you ever had Mogul candies it tastes just like it. 

I was able to sit by the pool and was in love with the warmth.

 After we showered we walked to el hito de las 3 fronteras where argentina meets paraguay and brazil. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was so glad we also caught sunset because it just looked beautiful.

I was starting to get hungry and knew it was going to be at least another 30 min until we got back to the hotel because we went walking, so i got some popcorn and if you know my grandma or me you know we love salt. This popcorn was heaven.

So we still had another hour before dinner so we decided to stop by this mexican restaurant called “Tacopado”.  My friend Blue and I split a taco combo that came with one carne taco, one pollo taco, nachos and papas aztecas that had chimichurri and mayanose on it. Pretty delish. I was pretty satisfied for mexican food in argentina (that was prepared by argentinians).

After our “appetizers” we still had dinner at the hotel. I was not too hungry so i got a caesar salad. Eh it was good besides those four huge pieces of cheese on top. Rachel and I shared a brownie and ice cream with caramel. I loved the top of the brownie because it was a pool of caramel and that's the only part I really ate lol. 

After this I went to bed because we had a long day ahead of us.

I know this post is a week late but I’ve been doing a lot of traveling so I did not have my laptop with me. Hope you enjoyed the post!

Con amor,

T.L.

[mrbananny]

Breakdown

Crie s I'm done with this aaaa. I think this might be the longest fic ive ever wrote omfg. I'm actually pretty proud of myself, because i usually never finish things this long. But thanks a lot to both @uf0-toast and @cartoons-behind-blogging for listening to me scream about this for two days ;v; a cookie for whoever can guess the three songs I referenced !

Summary: GCBC gets invited to a party.

TW: anxiety, possible ptsd, minor blood

Rating: T

It was at a party. Well, not exactly a ‘party’, more of a festive get-together as Bad Cop called them, considering the fact that he didn’t want to be there in the first place. Especially not at Cloud Cuckooland. The lights were too bright, music too loud, and even voices were gosh-darn annoying. The only reason he had been there was because of a certain someone wanting to go.

  ‘Hey, buddy, why don’t you go n’ dance? Make some new friends!’ Good Cop had spoken up, speech still a bit slurred.   The cop gave a sigh. “If you wan’ a dance n’ make friends so bad, why don’t you come out n’ do it yourself?“ He mumbled back.  ‘You know ’m scared t’ come out like this. B'sides, you need t’ work on your social skills, Bad’ Good Cop held back a laugh at mentioning this.   Ever since the events of TAKOS Tuesday, Bad Cop’s other half hadn’t exactly… been himself, in more ways than one. It’s been about a week since then.

  The day prior to the festive get-together was one of the Cop’s first days back from working under Business’ strict rule. After leaving the Super Secret Police that Business had them working in, they had instantly gone back to working as a normal cop. They knew they should take time off after what had happened in those last 3 short days, but they couldn't just laze around their home all day. For them, normal patrol work was a vacation, compared to the work Business had them doing. It was a good break, Bad Cop returned to the normal car chases he loved, and Good Cop went back to crossaint and donut breaks, which he oh-so loved as well.   "PULL OV'R N' COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" The cop had shouted into the megaphone, head halfway through the window. The criminal was persistent, and it took hours upon hours to finally catch him. And after that was Good Cop's croissant break.   Bad Cop had to order the croissants and coffee, of course. The other still had a bit of a doubt of how people would react to his new face. Bad paid and thanked Larry before rushing out the coffee shop door.   The cops had made their way back to the police cruiser before meeting a familar furry face.   "HIIII, BAD COP!!" Unikitty had shouted in her high pitched, hurting-Bad-Cop's-ears voice. The cop gave a shout, being startled by her sudden appearance, nearly dropping the hot coffee in his lap. "GAH! DON'T SNEAK UP ONE SOMEONE LIKE THAT!" After attempts of trying to calm his heart rate, he continued, putting his hand on his forehead. "What d' you want? I thought the Master Builder's wouldn't want anything t' do with me." Unikitty's excited grin faltered a bit at that question. "Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Buuut! I am throwing a party tomorrow night to celebrate the defeat of the Kragle," that word had caused Bad Cop to flinch a bit, "and Emmet, Wyldstyle, Benny, Metalbeard, and myself thought it would be great for you to come stop by and join us!" The cop opened his mouth to say something-   "There'll be CAKE, and ICE CREAM! Oh, and MUSIC," He had been interuptted as she continued to list off things she had planned, "and GAMES, because who doesn't love party games?! Of course, we're still doing reconstruction on CCC, or C3 for shorter, but we were able to make one party room for tomorrow-"   "Unikitty."   "And it should be good until we get the other 23 up and running-"   "Unikitty?"   "But we REEEALLLY think it would be great for you two to meet new peop-"   "I can't."   Well, that just made her stop dead in her tracks. "W-Why not?" Bad Cop picked up his keys, as a way to hint at her that he wanted to escape from this conversation. "I jus'... think that it might be better if I wasn't there. After all, I was th' one t' ruin... C3," Man Upstairs, he didn't want to call it that. "Look, I appreciate the offer but I just can't."   Unikitty looked defeated. Her ears folded back and she looked toward the sidewalk. "Alrighty. Well, if you change your mind you can always come anyway! Bye, Bad Cop!" And with that, she was off, sparkles and glitter and every other bright shiny thing you can think of trailing her.   'I think it would be fun.' Good Cop had spoken up after a short period of silence.   Bad Cop had ignored what he said. "Do you want your croissant 'r not?" He heard a mental sigh come from his other half as their head spun and suddenly his scribbled face was in control. He picked up his croissant and hesitated.   'You're okay.'   Ever since the... 'incident' with Good Cop and Business, several things have been harder for Good Cop to do with his new face, replaced by scribbled features. Eating, for one, was an issue, considerjng his mouth was nothing but a cross between smooth and jagged edges. Sight, another. Without his glasses, Good couldn't see very far, and adding that to his new eyes, several problems could erupt, which is usually why Bad does all the driving. And of course, speech. He didn't sound like he used to, which is something he could ignore, but his speech pattern had become slurred, which led to some misunderstandings. "I know, I jus'- Maybe we should go?"   'No one would want us there n' you know it.'   "We don' know that. We won' if we don' go."   He took a bite from his snack. "I think it'd be good fer you."   Bad Cop had been so busy thinking back to the day before that he hadn't even noticed the unicorn/cat hybrid and a familiar blue spaceman walk (or rather, float, in Benny's case) up to the punchbowl where the cop had been hiding out since he arrived. "Hey! Bad Cop! Wassup! It's me, Benny, remember?!" Ben had shouted at the top of his lungs, over the loud music playing, snapping Bad out of his thoughts. He jumped back a bit, startled by the new set of loud noises. "Uhm...?" He started, making an attempt to actually remember who Benny was. Good Cop spoke up.   'Remember when we were stuck at th' tower? 'N all the Master Builders escaped, buddy?' Bad Cop thought back. He did remember a blue-clad astronaut among the other Builder's. "Vaguely." He mumbled to Good, just enough to where the music drowned it out. Benny tilted his head a bit when he noticed that he had said something. "Hmm? You gotta speak up, dude, it's LOUD IN HERE!" Bad Cop shook his head in annoyance and opened his mouth to repeat himself, but next thing he knew Benny was already off on another tangent. "Hey! I just wanted to thank you for letting me build a spaceship last week! It really meant a lot!" The confused cop made sure to speak up this time. Benny was right, it WAS loud in here. "'m not th' one you should be thankin'! Good was the one who-"   "OH, YEAH!" Benny had interrupted, "Unikitty and I wanted to know how Good Cop was doing!" Bad flinched. "He's f-fine." He mumbled, forgetting that the music automatically drowned it out.   "WHAT?!"   "I said he's FINE, Ben!" He just about screamed that.   "OH-KAY!"   Unikitty felt as though it was her turn to speak, just trying to keep Benny from being in the hospital due to possible death by chair. "I'm so glad you could join everyone, Bad Cop! I was kinda worried you'd miss the party!" The only response she got was a quiet grumble from the cop standing in front of her. "C'mon Mr. Grumpy Pants! Lighten up a little and come dance!"   Man Upstairs, why does everyone want him to dance so bad?! "No, thank you. Not happenin'."   Unikitty raised one eyebrow and put on a fake innocent smile. "I bet Good Cop would come out and dance!" This caused her to receive a glare from Bad Cop, which was hidden behind his aviators. So Unikitty's expression didn't falter in the slightest. "He doesn't wan' t' come out right now."   Unikitty's smile disappeared, and was soon replaced by an expression of 'the opppsite of happiness'. "Okay... I won't pressure you anymore, sorry!" Bad Cop sighed in relief. As the two Master Builders went to the other end of the snack table, where all the cookies and cake and cookie cakes where. Something told Bad that the last thing those two needed was more sugar.   'B-Buddy?'   "Hmm?" Bad Cop had responded, quietly.   Good Cop had been silent for a few short moments. He did a mental inhale before saying,   'I want t' come out."   Bad Cop froze for a few short seconds.   'Bad?'   "I heard you." He looked out across the sea of dancing Master Builders and 'Party Animals' as Unikitty called them You really wan' t' come out?"   'Yeah. I haven't... been out... much.'   Bad Cop sighed. "I know." He looked back over at Unikitty and Benny before calling for them.   They were in a smaller, separate room. A dress up room. With a mirror and a large closet stuffed with party costumes.   "You wanted t' know how Good was doing?" The cat and spaceman nodded. "You look a little nervous, Bad Cop, is everything alright?" Benny was the first to ask. Bad Cop had been gripping at his shirt with his right hand, left on his cheek. "'M fine. It's jus' that he hasn't been out in public much since..." He stopped himself there.   'Bad, I'll be okay... breathe.'   "Bad Cop you don't have to do this if you don't want to. Not if it makes you uncomfortable." Unikitty reassured. Gosh darn it, why were these two being so nice to him? It's a question he hadn't even thought of asking, he's been so distracted with literally everything else.   A new song had started up and could be heard from through the walls.     Even if it makes me blind     I just want to see the light     Breath in, leave it all behind     I just want to see the light   Unikitty's expression changed from concern to excitement in a matter of milliseconds. She squealed with delight. "Ah! This is my favorite song! C'mon Benny!" And with that she ran out the door, the spaceman following. Ben turned back around to face the nervous Cop. "Hey, just chill, dude! You'll be okay. If not, just give us a shout!" And he left.   A shout. Right.   He turned to look at the mirror, taking his hand off his cheek, other hand still gripping at his shirt. It was a good thing that he had been wearing a normal button up shirt rather than his leather police uniform, or those wrinkles he was creating would've been there forever.   "You sure you wan' t' go through with this?"   Good Cop's only reply was a simple word.   'Yes.'   Next thing Good Cop saw was his scribbled face in the mirror. He was starting to have second thoughts.   'You don' have t' do this if you don' want t', you know this, right?'   Good noted Bad's repetition of Unikitty's words. He shook his head.   "I need t' work on my social skills jus' like you do." He laughed a bit, making a light-hearted joke to ease the anxiety between the two. Good Cop stopped laughing and took deep breaths before walking out of the room and into the main party hall. He felt his heart skip a beat as he took one step foward, then another. Some partygoers had started to notice him, and the room went quiet, save for the loud music and chatting of people who were clueless to what was happening. Good Cop's heart started to race, which Bad Cop took note of.   'Good, calm down.'   He could hear comments about his face, and more and more comments about his presence overall.   'Stay calm.'      'Ew, what happened to his face?' 'Wasn't he the one that destroyed Cloud Cuckooland in the first place?' 'He's probably just here to spy on us, so we can just do this whole shebang all over again.' 'Business better not have followed him here.'   That name. Business. Good Cop started to focus on that name.   'Good, breathe in n' out. You're not breathing, Good! Snap out of it!'   He was right. He couldn't breathe. He was frozen to the spot like a deer in headlights. Why couldn't he move? He could've moved if he wanted to but-   Emmet was walking over. Wyldstyle, Metalbeard. Why were they walking over? He tried to hide his face, arms merely twitching. Emmet walked up to him. "Heh, hey, uh Good Cop? Everything all right there, pal?" He placed a hand on the cop's shoulder, which caused him to step back. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't find a lie to tell him. Bad Cop was so much easier at lying to people's faces, gosh, why couldn't he?     He closed his eyes and held his head, blocking out any noises around him. Man Upstairs, if he could just move he could run back into the room. Why couldn't he move?!   He opened his eyes. Presi- No. It was Lord Business. He was wearing his Power Suit and everything. His helmet, his cape, his boots. Where did he get them?! He had told everyone he had gotten rid of it. Good Cop's eyes went wide as he started spitting out apologizes left and right, hoping he wouldn't punish them again.   He didn't mean to let the Special get away, it was that darned Master Builder's fault. Business said something, which Good Cop couldn't seem to make out. Robots came over. He felt hands grab his shoulders, cold and firm, and he desperately thrashed about to get away, eyes glued shut. Through much struggle he pulled his arm free and clocked whoever he could reach. The hands leg go. After several short moments, he opened his eyes to where Business had been standing, ready to apologize once more for punching one of his robots. Although, when he opened them...   He was still at the party. Metalbeard- goshdarn his size- was standing in place of where Business was, Benny to his left, holding his nose, blood dripping from it and down his chin, under where his space helmet had cracked, Wyldstyle and Emmet at his side. Oh.   Oh no. Oh no, no, no.   He could hear Bad Cop shouting at him.   'SNAP OUT OF IT! IT'S NOT REAL, GOOD!!'   Good Cop shook his head. His mind cleared. The whole room had gone into shock, only the music left playing. The cop just stared with wide eyes. He didn't want this to happen. Why did this happen?! All he wanted was to be more outgoing than he had been. All of this was just a mistake. Mistake. Suddenly, he could breathe easily again, though he felt as though the room had been getting smaller. Metalbeard leaned over to him and said, as quiet as he could, which isn't very, "Ye be alright, laddy?"   And there they were.   Tears. Tears had started to fall down Good's face, mixed with the ink of his eyes and mouth, staining the shirt he had been wearing. Everyone stopped short and took a step back, allowing him some room. Darn it all, first he clocks Ben in the face, causes a scene, then cries in front literally every Master Builder? Bad Cop would have his head, if they didn't share the same one, for showing all this vuberability of the two. Biggest mistake of Good Cop's life, considering he felt awful bad for everything that had happened in the span of 5 minutes. Benny looked up, ignoring his now broken face (he could worry about that later), and floated over to Good Cop, who was doing his best to hold in sobs.   "Hey, man? Are you okay?"   That was all Benny had to say before Good let it all out. These people really cared about him and he just didn't understand why. His legs gave out and was soon on the floor, crying inky tears into his white (now gray) shirt and onto the floor. Unikitty must have noticed because the music had been shut off. Everyone stood still looking in the direction of where Good Cop had been sobbing. The room was absolutely silent now, save for the few hiccuping sobs coming from the cop.   Good had made an attempt to reach out to Bad, considering he needed him now more than ever. But he received no response from his other half.   Everyone had been staring. Good Cop expected them to laugh, to use these weaknesses against him and Bad. But they just stood there, concern across everyone's faces. Emmet exchanged glances with Benny. No one knew what they should be doing. They had never seen the two like this. Emmet had walked over to him on the floor and sat down. He said nothing and put his hand on the cop's back, starting to rub it. He looked back at the crowd with an expression of 'This doesn't leave this building', then back to Good Cop with sad eyes. He had gone quiet, save for the occasional hiccups. Emmet didn't know how long he sat there, Benny didn't realize how much blood had gotten on his suit, and Good Cop didn't realize how many were staring.   Bad Cop had finally spoke up through the silence of their mind.   ''m sorry.'   Good Cop wanted to say something back, but his throat had felt like it'd closed up.   He couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to say anyway, so it wouldn't make a difference.   ''m sorry.' Bad Cop repeated.   'I knew you were too nervous t' go out there. I shoulda stopped you.'   Good Cop took in a breath. "I-I'm okay." He said with a shaky breath, both to Bad Cop and the crowd around him. Bad just about screamed.   'Good, you're NOT OKAY. YOU'RE ON TH' FLOOR, STAININ' YOUR SHIRT. I THINK THAT'S A WEE BIT FAR FROM 'OKAY'.'   He tried to stand up. He needed to escape. To leave. To forget this ever happened. He was embarrassing himself. Emmet and Unikitty helped him onto his feet, his gaze locked to the floor, finding the little bit of space between each brick in the makeup more exciting then what had been currently happening. Once he had gotten to his feet, he crowd began to mumble things under their breaths. Good Cop refused to look away from the floor, hands covering his face. "Good Cop? You feeling better?" Benny had asked him. Through his hands, he responded with, "'m f-fine." He lied. "I- I jus' wanna leave."   "Okay. Unikitty and I'll see you out, i-if that's o-okay?" The cop nodded and started out the door. The spaceman looked back at Emmet, Wyldstyle and Metalbeard, as a way to say, 'Everything's okay,' and allow them to resume the music.   Good Cop had already been in the car he drove to the party, which is actually the opposite of what you would expect him to drive. It wasn't a police cruiser, more of a normal everyday car, one much like what Emmet would drive. Benny had floated over with Unikitty and found the cop sitting in the passenger seat. Although, it had been Bad Cop who had taken over, mumbling quietly to himself. The vehicle had been dead silent, but the two still couldn't make out what he had been saying.   Benny opened the driver door. Before he could open his mouth to say something- "Get in. Both 'f you." Bad Cop had demanded. Although the Master Builders were confused, they got in anyway, Benny, in the driver's seat, Unikitty in the back seats. "What are w-"   "You're drivin', Ben." Bad Cop informed him, looking away. Benny said nothing, gripped onto the steering wheel and started the car.   The cops had lived a long ways away, and the ride had been silent, save for occasional mumbling and grumbling from Bad Cop, the spaceman barely able to make out what he had been saying. Apologies, how much he hated how bright C3 was, the sort. Benny looked at Unikitty in the rear mirror. She had been looking out the windows, a bit of a bored, yet regretful expression on her face. The blue astronaut put his eyes back on the road, remembering that he needed to be more careful with this car and not cause a crash. After all, there were two things it wasn't: his, and a spaceship.   He took a look at the car radio. He hadn't noticed how quiet this ride was until he took a glance at the buttons and bells and whistles to his right.   "'m sorry all this happened, Good." Bad Cop whispered under his breath.   ''s okay.'   "No, it's not okay. We shoulda given you more time t' recover. All this is my fault 'n 'm sorry."   'It's not your fault.'   The two stayed quiet after that. Benny spoke up, breaking the two from their conversation. "Bad Cop?"   He grumbled.   "Look, I-I'm really sorry that happened to you, dude." He meant more than just the party incident. "But, if you ever need to talk to someone about this, we're your buddies, man, we'll listen to anything you gotta say."   Buddies. Right.   "Emmet, Wyldstyle, Uni and I, even Batman-" Unikitty shook her head. "Okay, maybe not Batman," he still had that whole tax evasion thing going on, "but everyone else, we'll be here for you okay?"   Bad Cop said nothing. It was a few more minutes of silence before Unikitty whispered something to the astronaut, just enough to where the cops couldn't hear. It would've made a difference anyway, he hadn't been listening to anything but the sounds of the engine running.   "Could I play some music? I think it could get your mind off things for the night." Ben asked.   Bad Cop shrugged. "Sure, but we're almos' there anyway. It's jus' about fifteen minutes."   Benny rolled his eyes. "C'mon, dude I'm trying to help you out here. Look, I'll try to see if I can find, like, an 80's music station or something."   After about a minute, Bad Cop heard a song playing. "Oh, my gosh! I love this song!" Benny shouted. A few seconds in, Unikitty perked up from the back and agreed. Bad Cop listened to the lyrics as Benny and Unikitty sang, quite bad, if you wanna put it politely.     I stopped an old man along the way   Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies   He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you"   Bad Cop recognized this song. It had been a song he and Good always started road trips off with. It was never an official trip without it. The chorus came along.   It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you   There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do   Benny and Unikitty had been singing at almost the top of their lungs (not enough to bother Bad Cop), that they almost didn't notice the quiet, slightly slurred voice that had joined in.   Keyword: 'Almost'.   I bless the rains down in Africa   Gonna take some time to do the things we never had   Benny and Unikitty shut up before he was finished singing the second half of the chorus. Good Cop noticed that it had been unusually silent from them, despite the song still playing. He looked over, revealing his still-runny-inked face, which didn't seem to phase either of the Master Builders. Benny had a huge grin on his face, almost literally stretching from ear to ear and Unikitty's eyes were sparkling like they've never sparkled before. "See? I told you you'd feel better with some music! Just some singing and you're back in the groove of things!" The cop made an attempt to pretend that he didn't know what he was talking about. Of course, Benny wasn't believing it.   "You should sing more often!" Unikitty cheered. Good Cop's face flushed at the compliment, which was very crontrasting to the ink smears that made it up. Bad Cop quickly switched in, their head spinning around. "Th-Thanks, but we jus' wanna get home n' forget that tonight ever happened." After that, he quickly fell silent again, Benny and Unikitty still grinning.   The song ended and another began.   Darling you got to let me know   Should I stay or should I go? They had soon arrived at the cops' apartment complex in Bricksburg. Bad Cop jerked a bit in his seat and looked up out the front window. He groaned and put his face in his hands. "Ugh, 'm sorry, I didn't even consider th' fact that you both need a ride back." Unikitty got out of the car through... the window. "Pssh, it's okay Bad Cop!" Benny undid his seatbelt and turned off the car, opened the door and soon floated right out like a balloon. "Yeah! I have a spaceship hangar close by, dude! I have them all over the universe just in case!" Bad gave him a look through his hands before promptly placing them in his lap. "It's only been a week. How've you had time t' build so many spaceships in seven days?" Benny looked nervous.   "W-Well, I never said that..." He waved his hands. "ENOUGH ABOUT THAT. Look, dude, Unikitty and I'll find a spaceship to take back to Cuckooland. And again, remember, that the rest of the Master Builders and us are here if you need to talk to anyone about anything okay?" He handed the cop a phone number. In messy handwriting, it read:      The DOG          270-4730   Bad Cop nodded. "G'night, Ben. Unikitty."   "Good night, Bad Cop. Tell Good Cop 'night for us too!" Unikitty responded.   Their apartment. That old, messy apartment. The one Business had reserved for them while under his rule. After TAKOS Tuesday, it had become more and more filthy and dirty. Bad Cop didn't mind, he had a place for everything, but Good Cop hated it.   He walked into the bathroom. The mirror, which desperately needed a cleaning (Man Upstairs, give him a day off to clean this place), showed his face, his tired, tired face. It then switched to a scribbly face, ink stains running down the cheeks and chin.   'D' we need to fix it?'   "... yeah."   ''m still sorry about what had happened back at 'Kitty's place.'   "'S not your fault."   'I know.'   It had been about a month later. Bad Cop had been sitting in his police office and Business payed him a visit, another attempt to apologize for Good Cop. Gosh, he wanted to punch him. However, by a cruel miracle, he was still the president, and the cops knew all too well that if you threaten the President, you threaten your life. No matter if he's 'reformed or not' (extra claw quotations around reformed). After the president had left, Bad Cop grabbed the nearest, replacable object he could, and gripped it as hard as possible. It broke. It was a ceramic dog, much like one that you would buy for $2 at an arts and crafts store and paint it yourself. A gift from Emmet. The ears, paws, and tail were blue and pink, while the rest was orange. The colors contrasted a bit, but Bad Cop didn't mind. He felt awful for what he did to it though, but then again, you shouldn't give anything breakable like that to Bad Cop.   He cleaned off his hand, pieces from the dog making his hand white from the powdery material, and rainbow colored from the paint.   He sat there a moment, recollecting his thoughts before looking over at a strip of paper taped to his computer monitor. He contemplated something for a few quick moments.   He picked up his phone and dialed the number.   It rang a few times before a cheery voice picked up on the other end.   "Hello?"   "Hello, Ben. Sorry t' bother... but I need t' vent." 

[aewm]

Hey so I'm kinda new to kpop and Korean culture in general, but I saw a video on youtube where BTS came to the US and filmed a little music video for a tv show or something. Anyway, they got a bunch of African American girls to be in it, bc that was the "vibe" or whatever idk but they seemed to find them really attractive/fetishize them so I'm confused, are the majority of Koreans racist or do they behave the way BTS kind of behaved in that segment. Idk if my question makes sense, sorry lol

lol im korean but im not rlly well acquainted with korean culture or pop culture either. ummmm well, korean media and pop culture has a long history of incorporating racist and anti-black jokes and "gags" bc well yeah, a lot of korean ppl are ignorant af and just straight out racist. anyways, its rlly backwards bc kpop has been profiting off the appropriation of black culture for a long time, and especially nowadays with the surge in popularity of """rap and hiphop culture""" in mainstream media and stuff. but basically yeah, to my limited knowledge, celebs have been putting black dancers in their music vids etc. and obviously its not for the sake of representation or diversity, its straight up fetishization and like... "aesthetic" purposes that are racist. and like ive heard stories of black ppl living in korea saying that koreans will come up 2 them and ask to touch their hair, and if u watched sam's video he talked abt how ppl asked him if he had pet lions in africa or whatever. i think ppl make it out to be some kind of naive wonderment on the part of the korean ppl, but honestly its plain ignorance and when coupled with the way korean society views black and brown ppl, it makes it a dehumanizing act imo.idk, sorry i didnt answer ur question and kind of went off on my own tangent i dont know enough abt bts to comment i guess. moral of the story is if ur a kpop fan, be wary of what ur consuming and be critical of ur fav group's "concepts." educate ur other kpop loving friends and tell them to shut tf up honestly . also if ur korean , have these convos with ur family and friends. tell them that gagcon joke wasnt funny at all, tell them that celebrity is a piece of shit for X,Y,Z reasons. explain 2 them why. and most importantly, if u ever see an individual being treated like sam as he recounted in his subway story, make sure U stand up for them. u gotta start small if u want to start to normalize these kinds of behaviours . thx for reading