#sorry if anyone already made this joke

[zarathna]

Delícia Drench-ed in Spiders

has anyone else been seeing the tweets about a lotion from sephora that attracts spiders

[venduri]

I think Armand would love air fryers

[stxrry-dxys]

“we need more complex female characters” y’all couldn’t even handle bloberta puppington

[essektheylyss]

Not content with having wrought the demise of every seafaring vessel his character had set foot upon, Travis Willingham set his sights on the sky!

[thereallycoolmonsterithoughtup]

my comic i made

[strawberrysapphocake]

Okay but who wore it better though?

[foggythefandomgremlin]

OK OK I HAVE A PROBABLY BAD JOKE ABOUT FANFICTION

What do you call a long crack-fic?

A high word count

[undefeatednils]

Stuff in tags, don't want y'all to read an essay.

[crossbackpoke-check]

18 + swaymark!!

oooo thank you!!

#18 - pleaser, wallows + swaymark

okay i know they are canonically obsessed with each other but. the song is in some ways about feeling like you’re failing in your relationship and being not quite as obsessed with them as they maybe are with you, and in this video of them talking about being a tandem, there is the slightest pause before swayman answers “do you miss him?” that makes me want to probe a wound. we’re not talking irl reasons of how that’s an absurd question (how do you miss him. you’re coworkers you’re seeing each other all the time) we’re talking that maybe this whole goalies-in-love thing got blown out of proportion and now swayman’s having to buy into the bit too hard. linus loves it & everyone’s asking about their bromance & how they love each other so much and the thing is—linus is safe. he’s got a wife and plausible deniability and jeremy? jeremy is gay. sure, he can crack jokes and people-please but the more people ask the more they're going to find out until maybe they find out something jeremy doesn't want them to know. and the longer this goes on, the more jeremy has to sit at linus' dinner table with linus and his beautiful wife and pretend like he isn't a little bit in love with him. and you know what? the longer it goes on and linus doesn't dial it down jeremy does stop being in love with him, because it just feels cruel, until he finally is done enough that he stops biting his tongue and ruins the moment.

[dougiewonderland]

Hockey question:

Does ACAB include refs?

[sleepsart]

jwcc makes me SICK ← he didn't call 911 he didn't call emergency services he didn't call any of those, he called hig big brother. He called his big brother first.

[starryfruitelope]

can't afford to eat at auntie anne's?

when you can also go at your local peddler selling your fav pretzels (just make sure annie unsuccessfully swindle your lunch money)😝

[dieclownschaft]

what did fifa forbid leon gay rights goretzka from playing? where the hell are u loca?

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

adam: wakes up from his coma

kelly:

[thisantithesis]

reading the All For the Game series is like this

“do you recommend that series?”

“no.”

“but you’re reading it?”

“yeah.”

[giantkillerjack]

My sister-in-law frustrates me to no end even though we barely ever interact because she keeps inviting my partner to parties with her Christian Republican friends, even though my partner told her not to send an invite to us if those friends will be there. And even though my sister-in-law is bisexual!!

And then she turns around and complains about not knowing how to deal with her friends saying, like, horrible sexist stuff as though that is just some natural unavoidable quirk of having friends!

Like, these Christian Republicans she has befriended don't seem to be kind - they're not even nice a lot of the time! They don't make for good friends, and she doesn't seem happy or supported in relation to them. In fact, she basically only ever talks about how her friends and/or current boyfriend are making her unhappy!

Because here's the thing: The effect of prioritizing 'including your Trump-supporter friends at your parties' over 'being invested in creating a safe space for marginalized people in your home', is that people who DO care about creating those safe spaces... won't wanna hang out with you! Because if you invite both cats and mice to your table equally, only the cats will show!

She's so afraid of losing the shitty friends she has now that she allows them to act as barriers to accessing friends who are invested in her wellbeing in a capitalistic hellscape!

It makes me sad because she's basically trapped herself, and there's nothing I can do to offer help without either compromising my morals or making my partner's life way harder by starting shit with her family.

Like, I consider myself a good friend, yeah? I try really really hard to be one, and it matters to me immensely. I am ride-or-die for the folks I love, and I am invested in being open and vulnerable and radically safe to be around when it comes to building strong friendships that are mutually fulfilling. I have a unique talent for validating people that I have honed for years because I genuinely want to make sure people feel safe and loved and seen.

And if my sister-in-law and I were friends, I could give all of that to her. I would strive to be an example of what it looks like when someone decides to care about you and treat you right on purpose, without expecting anything in return but your mutual respect. She would be family. She would be [Queer] Family. I would see to it that she knew she could call on me when she needed a friend.

But like.

This asshole has invited me to hang out with Trump supporters on multiple occasions.

We ain't gonna be friends.