#sorry if I don't talk much about fandoms

[roboticdreamz]

My interests and obsessions

So I have a lot of interests and strangely all of it has an expiration date (that means I really can't stick to one fandom). And I usually move on to another fandom in two methods:

Media no longer has new content and it bored me already

So this media is inspired on something else/featured this actor so I went to check that media and eventually I found myself obsessed with this thing I saw, leaving the previous fandom silently.

But there are times I often obsess on that media again after a few years (like I became a Metallica fan in late 2022 and in late 2024 I returned liking Metallica again). Sometimes, it doesn't return at all unfortunately.

By default, I usually talk about my OCs or looking at old archives that defined the early 2000s. I'm mostly focused doing on my projects nowadays since they're more important to me.

Here's the list of projects I'm doing recently:

Patsy n' Crinkles (Main priority. It's a game I'm currently developing rn)

Why Foxy?

Mint Teenz

Parasitic Mercury

Rinzu Hane (my UTAUloid OC)

[abyssalzones]

can I say something is this a safe space. it's kind of fascinating that ford is meant to read as a deeply repressed character and a capital s Scientist no less but he leads this other half of his life entirely dedicated to the occult. in the 70's-80's. like the historical connotations of the occult and what they represented in the united states at least seems kind of interesting in this context. for no reason in particular I find the dual aspects of "extremely dedicated to presenting as a logical, steadfast researcher trying to earn respect and social acceptance to the point of hinging all of his self worth on this vision for the future working out" and "deeply tied to the paranormal and "unsavory black magic" and everything Weird/freakish but feels like he needs to hide this aspect of himself from even the people closest to him" Very interesting. hiding six-fingered hands compulsively behind his back even if it's the emblem he puts on his journals. "what are you attracted to?" and "maybe you're simply attracted to things that hurt you" from two different points in the book. sweet dreams (are made of this) on the record player. hey does anyone know what that tarot card with a snake on it is meant to represent

[albino-parakeet]

”A Dance With Toro”

Fighting a “meat-eating bull” is pretty metal.

Once again showing that I'm a person who draws the dinosaurs better than the characters lol.

Timelapse undercut:

Song used Distant Past by Everything Everything. (Oops the video is longer than the song so sorry for the silence for the last minute or so lol.)

[jontaro-kun]

That one time a pose study (looking at art of pretty women and telling myself I was being productive) turned into Portia

[satoruxx]

listen i loveeeee eng dub caleb i think his va absolutely ate that shit up and the dialogue is so so good... but CN DUB CALEB????? oh my god... it's so much more ANGSTY bc wdym he literally says "your biggest mistake was thinking i'd always be willing to go along with being your big brother. i'm sick of playing these "being a family" games with you..."

I WANTED MY GEGE TROPE AND I GOT IT UGH </////3

[instantpansies]

life is hard for us oz fans who are only meh about wicked. have half a meme.

[littlespoonevan]

.

[marshmallowloves]

I decided to make a new ref for Sylrie since my partner and I played Soulstorm together 👉🏻👈🏻 it's been a minute since I've drawn her or...really thought about her much kdjfhg but I tweaked her lore a lil bit and it gave me an excuse to redesign her slightly too 👀

Sylrie is a native Mudokon from a small remote village on a snowy mountain somewhere in Mudos. She's kind of reclusive, partly just because she's lived in this village her whole life and has never seen what's outside of it...mostly because she's afraid to.

She was born with very lightly-colored eyes, but she's perfectly healthy and her vision is completely intact. The elder of her village instead saw the color as an indicator of some strong spiritual power that lay dormant but would one day come to her. She was told that her eyes were sacred and to treat them as such, so she hides them with a mask that she never takes off in front of anyone. If she ever does, it's only because she trusts that person enough not to harm the most vulnerable and precious part of her.

So far, she has no power to speak of...but she does have recurring dreams about glittering lights that morph into names and places she's never known or seen before. They often mention someone called the Messiah and tell her vaguely that one day he'll rely on her. She thinks these dreams might be prophetic... but if they are, they're hard for her to believe. What kind of help could someone with no power like herself possibly provide someone as important as that...?

...spoiler alert: enough that they stick together for so long that he ends up getting to be the first person besides the elder to see her eyes dkjfg

okay I'll be honest I. haven't really thought of how she and Abe end up together sjdfhdjh. I...did kinda kick around an idea from when I first made her + added to it, which is that she guides him through the mountain to get to...wherever he needs to go, because she's used to the frigid environment and despite having never left her village, her dreams have told her enough to know the way. and later they end up in some dire situation that makes her power finally awaken in order to save/protect him, and so they're both kind of indebted to each other and that's when they start getting closer...? it's...pretty cheesy but I still kinda like it... 👉🏻👈🏻

also I still really like the idea I had about loveties and so I...may have kinda given her one...that she gets from Abe at some point...with his feathers on it kdjfgkjdfvjnd okay bye

[the-sonic-crew]

"SAY NO MORE SIR!"

*grabs my leather bag and pulls out a comically long chain of handkerchiefs tied together and a lamp*

"erm one sec it's here somewhere....."

*my hand inside the bag starts glowing and a kitty of light with the gigachad face is in my arms in the simba™ pose*

"alas. Sonic you must bow before the ultimate kitty because you arent ultimate sry chat..😿😞"

"AHA NOW KITH!"

(YAYAYYAAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYSAYATAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAAYATATATTAATATATTTATATTATATAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYY)

[shadow's inner monologue at that moment went something like this:

Ugh... the... kitty- NO, MUST RESIST- but... the kitty...- NO, SHADOW. IT'S NOT WORTH IT, YOU'LL DO SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET WHEN YOU'RE OLDER. PEOPLE WILL COME UP TO YOU IN THE FUTURE, AND YOU WILL HAVE TO TELL THEM THAT YOU AND SONIC AREN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP, AND THEY WON'T STOP BOTHERING YOU. IT'S NOT WORTH IT- but the kitty... it's... all of it... the ultimate kitty.... -that does sound pretty cool but you CAN'T SHADOW. REPULSED, REMEMBER? YOU'LL DO IT AND THEN YOU'LL FEEL THAT ANXIOUS FEELING IN YOUR STOMACH THAT GROWS AND GROWS AND YOU JUST FEEL SO OVERWHELMED AND UNCOMFORTABLE AND OH GOD-]

I... I- I- I-

[Sonic gets up from where he's been bowing, expression morphing from a playful flirt to a worried, faltering grin. His eyes train, briefly, on Shadow's chest; it's started to rise and fall at a quicker pace, faster than he's ever seen it- even during all of their races and petty fights.]

Hey, are- are you feeling alright?

[He steps closer to Shadow, but Shadow's expression only morphs further into something closely resembling horror before masking itself quickly with anger.]

GET AWAY FROM ME. I JUST- I just want- ARGH!

[He backs into a 'corner' of the space, curling into a ball.]

You're all the same. You'll force me to do such a thing... when I...

... I think maybe that was a boundary we shouldn't have crossed. Sorry guys, no kisses for Shadow in the near future. Or, uh, judging by that reaction, probably ever. Sooooooo if you don't mind, I'll justttttttt... yep that cat's ours now OK BYE

[EXPLANATION IN THE TAGS -💀]

[solanj]

sometimes in the fandom you see some art that is SO beautifully made but goes SO against the grain of how you perceive the drawn character(s) like I want to reblog it so much because it's so visually gorgeous and the artist is amazing and deserves to know this but I'll fucking die before letting that particular interpretation of the character(s) anywhere near my blog

[hauntingofhouses]

i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).

ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

[scoliosisgoblin]

Which version of Rick is your fav?

it's so hard for me to choose tbh. HOWEVER, I'd say Evil Rick

then I'd say it's C-137 and Memory Rick

I love how pathetic™ Evil Rick really is tbh. love that he's being controlled by his Morty. can you guess who my favorite Morty is?

[revenantghost]

Man! I feel bad about being not as present for bookclub as I was last year, and also about how behind on messaging/responding to peeps between migraines and health stuff I am, but the community here and support and kindness has been amazing even as I feel like I'm letting everyone down, and I've just gotta say:

Thank you <3

[croquettish]

14, 15, 25 for end of year! 🩵

thank you so much for the questions!! :D

a fic you didn’t expect to write: oh my god, so many of them honestly. I wrote several fics for birthdays and those were all planned. but in april I started writing a fic with a (somewhat flighty) friend of mine that I definitely didn't expect to write and honestly probably never expected to write but that also might not ever see the light of day bc rn I'm stuck waiting for her to write a section and it's been months. so WE SHALL SEE I think the biggest surprises (aside from the aforementioned WIP) all happened in the second half of the year. I didn't expect to write a rugan fic (DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD STAY ALIVE FOR SOOOOO LONG) and I definitely didn't expect to write the two nancy drew fics that I wrote after the one I wrote for my sister. one of them (the thanos one) was less of a surprise since it had been a wip for almost a decade. but the other one (the grigor one) was a huge surprise since that one had only been plotted out (somewhat) for almost a decade. that said, aside from the probably-forever-wip fic, the biggest surprise of them all is the one that I'm currently writing (albeit very slowly) that will also take a metric fuckton of coding before I can start posting it, so that won't start being posted until sometime next year. the huge surprise there is that I never expected to get into stardew valley, let alone to write fic for it... eight years after it first came out, but that's just how it goes sometimes... honestly, if I had more time right now and wasn't spending the vast majority of my days doing phd research and writing my dissertation, I'd be spending all of my time on that fic just bc it's so damn fun to write. I can't wait for people to get to read that one :D

something you learned this year: this is a good question. I don't think that I learned anything huge but I feel like I learned a lot of little things: I found that I will always be able to surprise myself in one way or another. I really like experimenting with different things and seeing what works out. there's less fear in that for me than other people (apparently) seem to feel, and that knowledge does feel pretty liberating, honestly! I learned that I am a lot funnier than I give myself credit for, or rather than I was always told I was growing up. and I learned that I am not only capable of writing longfic, sometimes longficitis strikes me when it used to be something that I worried I wouldn't be able to make happen. which, in terms of problems to have, is honestly not a bad thing at all :D I also learned that I care a lot less these days about having an actual audience so long as I'm writing what I want to write. like, no one is out there reading my nancy drew fics, and that's fine. I doubt anyone will be reading the stardew valley fic this long after the game came out. and the fic I'm writing with my friend is even less likely to go anywhere. but that's okay! because I'm enjoying myself and that's what matters!!

a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read: this one also isn't easy. I honestly don't read a ton of fic (especially while I'm writing something myself or busy working) but I will end up with small periods where I read loads of it. my tastes for fic esp can also be a bit all over the place, so I'll list a few (since I know I have a lot of friends from different fandoms on here): Kingdom Come: Deliverance - Hans Capon/Henry of Skalitz - in character and it gets the dynamics right. doesn't make either of them too weepy or too assholeish. just insanely well-done Dragon Age II - Carver/F!Hawke - I am starved for more Carver/Hawke smut but this one is amaaaaaazing and the most in character it could ever possibly be. bathroom sex leading to bedroom sex Dragon Age II - Fenris/F!Hawke - sex pollen and a rescue. just a delicious and super ic well-written fic Resident Evil 2 Remake - Leon Kennedy/Claire Redfield - hhhhh I also yearn for more good porn of them but this really hits the spot. post-canon motel room sex. just really really good all around Baldur's Gate 3 - Durgetash - fellow zhent book club members will have already read this fic but it's by far my favorite iteration of their dynamic that I've seen And then there's the fic that I reread about once a quarter at least because it is simply a Perfect Fic, which was a present from my sister to me for my birthday (very belated present) some years ago: Persona 5 - Yusuke Kitagawa/Ann Takamaki

full list of questions is here!

[qcomicsy]

Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

[dollypopup]

y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!

like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.

and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye

you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .

when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?

if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self

and that's that on that