#sorry idk why i got so attached to him i like how everyone bullies him in canon like hes the 40 year old coworker everyone hates | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

breaking-binary-system · 2 months ago

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[Image ID: Text that reads "Hayden, I have a question." The response from Hayden. "Yes". "You said that I bullied/harassed you and blank correct? Do you have proof? Cuz I never did that, all I did was compare stories between me and another person, and I never confronted her when we caught her in a lie. I genuinely just want to understand". End ID]

[Image ID: cut off text that reads "and I never confronted her when we caught her in a lie. I genuinely just want to understand". The response from Hayden. "You didn't do it to me, blank told me what happened. I only went off of what she told me, she wouldn't just make that up. So unless you wanna text her yourself and ask for proof, idk what to tell you" The response from Eden. "I literally can not. She has blocked me on everything. If she would at least unblock me on Discord, I can literally take a screenshot and record EVERY SINGLE message we ever had" end ID]

[Image ID: From Hayden. "I can't tell her what to do, if she wants to unblock you that's up to her. I just don't like the fact that you're trying to make my girlfriend out to be a liar." Eden's response. "Hayden, I don't blame my alters for shit, I don't lie to people and I have never and will never bully anyone. You can choose not to listen to me if you want, but I have literally never bullied her. If I am being completely honest, I THINK that she got mad that she got caught and got called out, but since I am the one that left, she decided to make me out to the villian. That is just what I think" End ID]

[Image ID: Hayden "Called out for what? She didn't do anything. If it involves your alters that's not fair, because not everyone knows how those work" Eden's response "None of my alters never spoke to her, not one. When I asked her who she was asking about the DID information, I genuinely wanted to help, and she said that she was asking blank. Blank asked the EXACT SAME QUESTION wanting to help, blank said that she was asking me. Which she had never done. I never confronted her, I was completely fine with letting it go, but one of blank's alters confronted her about it" End ID]

[Image ID: From Hayden "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard" From Eden "I can literally show you the proof that I didn't do anything. Not mentioned it, not bully her about it. Nothing." From Hayden "None of this even sounds like bullying anymore it just sounds like high school drama" From Eden "Yeah. It does, but what I don't get is why she would like because she is." From Hayden "Lie about what? Not knowing things about DID? Because blank hardly knows anything about the disorder" End ID]

[Image ID: From Hayden "Did she say she knew things about DID? And that's the "lie"" From Eden "No. She lied about who she was asking and is literally lying to you about me bullying her" An attachment with screenshots of multiple conversations between the parties involved sent by Eden. From Eden "There. That is literally all the proof I have that I never confronted her about this" End ID]

[Image ID: From Eden "There. That is literally all of the proof I have that I never confronted her about this." From Hayden "So your telling me my girlfriend of 11 months and 2 years of friendship is lying to me" From Eden "YES." From Eden "None of my alters have spoken to her. Only 2 of my alters have spoken to you." From Hayden. "I'm about to have a nervous breakdown." From Eden "I am sorry. I just don't want to continue to have lies spread about me" End ID]

[Image ID: An attachment with screenshots of multiple conversations between the parties involved sent by Eden. From Hayden "Why do you have to be dating my FUCKING BEST FRIEND! HUH?!! WHY?! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR PROOF. SINCE 2021 MY LIFE HAS BEEN FILLED WITH LIES AND HERE IT IS CONTINUING" From Levi "If you choose not to believe me that is your fucking choice. I am dating blank because I love, care about, and respect him." End ID]

[Image ID: Cut off message from Eden that reads "dating blank because I love, care about, and respect him." From Hayden "As far as I saw, all blank blank said was about the people she told...no big deal at all. Also Ryder....is. FICTIONAL!!!!!" From Eden "I. Am. Aware. I am aware that is a FICTIONAL story and that your representation is not going to be perfect. However, I will not sit here and let her lie about something I NEVER FUCKING DID. If you think I'm lying that is completely fine, but me loving blank isn't going to change. Think about what you want." End ID]

[Image ID: Cut off text from Hayden that reads "all. Also Ryder....is. FICTIONAL!!!!" From Eden "I. Am. Aware. I am aware that is a FICTIONAL story and that your representation is not going to be perfect. However, I will not sit here and let her lie about something I NEVER FUCKING DID. If you think I'm lying that is completely fine, but me loving blank isn't going to change. Think about what you want." From Hayden "I'm showing blank this convsation, we'll c what he thinks about you after it" From Eden "How cute." End ID]

I try to not have anything to do with drama, that's not my cup of tea. However, on behalf of a guy who I call a brother, this is something I feel the need to bring up and call attention to (here and on other platforms) due to harassment, victim blaming, attempted sexual advances on someone under the influence, and just nothing truly good at all.

On Tiktok there is a creator named Hitoshi-Laundry, or Hayden per his own Tiktok page. He currently is sitting at 24.4K followers. That sounds impressive however. Hayden and someone he knows were/are working on a web series and enlisted my friend, Eden's, help to know more about DID for the series. Eden asked who they were asking and were informed it was a friend of theirs. Lo and behold, he found out from said friend that they were claiming to be asking him. Eden decided to back out of the project and it started spiraling into what it has become. Hayden has also been keeping Eden's work up on his page and is, in fact, planning on making a profit without giving any of it. While yes that is not technically illegal, it is still a bullshit thing to do. Eden had made the characters art himself and is not going to get any of the profit that Hayden could potentially make. Hayden never even planned on telling Eden this, however for Eden's safety I am not going to talk about where he found it out for him and his source's privacy and safety. Eden ended up confronting Hayden a few days ago at the time of writing this about Hayden's partner claiming that Eden was bullying them over this situation. Here's something to note: anyone who knows Eden can testify that the LAST thing he or his system would EVER do is bully someone. I will not go into details why because he deserves that privacy and to not have that all over the internet unless he wishes for it. Unfortunately for Eden, Hayden did not take it well. At all.

Through screenshots that will be provided in a reblog (just because I am wanting this to be just the text of what happened, since I will be providing ID's for every picture), you can see that the conversation started off polietly with asking about what happened and for proof. The only proof that Hayden ever went off of was his partners (name will be covered for her privacy). It then started to derail from there. Eden pointed out that no alters had spoken to Hayden's partner. The next response from Hayden was to say he was about to have a nervous breakdown. The very very next thing in the screenshot is that Hayden immediately throws it back onto Eden with Eden's partner. I have been told some of how Eden and his partner (name also blurred for privacy) got together. The two didn't do it to spite anyone or out of anger, rather just because the two were happy together and loved one another. Hayden can be seen in the screenshot angry about it, for no real evidence. To quote. "Why do you have to be dating my FUCKING BEST FRIEND! HUH?!! WHY?! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR PROOF." From the screenshots that have been provided, there is quite literally nothing else about why he has such a problem with Eden and his boyfriend. After Eden points out that nothing is going to change between him and his boyfriend, Hayden says he'll show this conversation to Eden's boyfriend to "see what he thinks about him". Mind you I don't see Eden and his boyfriends personal messages but honestly, nothing seems to have changed between the two. That's not all Hayden has done despite how much I wish it was. This next part will have no names other than Hayden's said for privacy because this is something someone deserves complete and utter privacy about. Hayden and a mutual acquaintance had consumed Marijuana and had gotten stoned off of it. That's not the problem here in the slightest. The problem comes from what Hayden tried to do. He had attempted to have sex with the victim, however I have not been told if he kept pushing for it as that is not something I am going to ever ask of a victim. That is their privacy and is not something anyone should ever have to relive. With the same victim from above, they ended up having to go to the hospital for a severe medical emergency which was partly brought on by Hayden. Hayden was able to cause a partial medical emergency that left people concerned for the victims safety. This is all that I know of, let alone anything that could have happened that hasn't been made aware.

Normally I don't concern myself with drama but this isn't just some petty argument. It's how someone and their partner have managed to harass someone, have lied multiple times, have attempted to make sexual advances on someone who was under the influence, planned on making a profit off of someone else's art without giving any profit to said person, and just generally has not been good in the slightest.

#evidence #screenshotted evidence #tw attempted sa #tw bullying #tw harassment #art theft #lying #online harassment #bullying #victim blaming

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interestsofabookwormbitch · 3 years ago

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Season 1 Episode 5

Watching the next episode of Roswell

Wait wait wait! I just looked at the episode titles now, are they song titles! OMG I love that! Smells Like Teen Spirit is the episode after this one (that's how I figured it out) and it makes me so happy. I love Nirvana.

Ok, so here's the thing after the recap I just wanted to say. "After all I'm the one who killed those girls" but not Rosa... just saying.

Also, I know this was his thought process, two good lives compared to his shitty one, who do they ruin? Easy answer. The whole shebang. But I always hate that. Like not really but it makes me feel bad and I hate that mindset, love it from a storytelling perspective.

Ok back to this episode of which I have no idea why Isobel is out here alone. Love the crop circles though

See I like this argument though. Like genuinely Michael shouldn't be confessing because he matters too, but you know, with his mindset I doubt he cares. Making him aware of the dangers it poses to his family is more likely to work.

Sidenote: I mean technically speaking they should all confess since you know people died and all that, but I don't really care about those people, so....

Ok, so she went missing, and they're horrible at on the spot lies. Do I need to say "wonder what's up there?" I don't think I do.

Did he BUY that!? Oh my god

Oh he's speechless.🙄 I'm sorry. I know it's rude. And I like Kyle, I do, I just don't ship them. I mean, it's not gonna end up working, so why would I even bother trying.

I can't believe his mom knew all this and his it. I don't like that. Kyle's mom is kinda iffy at times. I get why she would (I think) but still.

Ok, that's gonna be important, but Idk what that thing is.

Kyle being shady. I do trust him now, but why does he have to keep secrets from Liz?

Oh! It's a recorder. Of some kind

Oh my. We have to talk with the conspiracy theorist. I don't mind that. It could be interesting.

She just cuts right to things.

So he's definitely too scared to talk, which I mean, fair enough. Also how did he disappear? Like she wasn't far behind him.

Cabin.

Alex! I missed him last episode. Also, sidenote, why is Kyle's second thought to break the window instead of, oh idk, scoping it out to see if anything is left open?

I'm gonna be honest, I didn't actually remember Noah's name until he introduced himself there. This really is a small town with everyone running into each other all the time.

Dude, Kyle's dad was so fucking shady omg. Like idk why he's connecting to these people, and just has so much hidden stuff. Weird dude (obviously on a less funny note he's extremely gross for getting with Rosa)

What's with the gun? Ah America. Lmao

Wait wait wait. Ok, unpacking this. A) blackouts, right around the end of high school, B) talk of Rosa as stressor, C) she doesn't know what happened. So like, am I reading too much into this or did Isobel kill Rosa? Cause I think she did. Accidentally by the sound of it, but tbh I wouldn't expect her to do that intentionally.

I was about to say I like seeing old friendships, but then things a turn. Oof. Bullying, homophobia, this is not good childhood memories like I thought we were gonna get. This cabin just got awkward

I love when someone asks "how much longer?" And it's immediately followed by something happening.

Fucking, guy who believes everything is normal, "don't open that. Bad things." Guy who knows about aliens and the existence of creatures outside of what we know and also experiments and government conspiracies "ah nothing bad could possibly be down there."

So why does Isobel blackout but the other two apparently don't?

And there's a big bed. Why, idk, but it's here.

First of all, poor Alex, literally life had to suck so hard for him, I can't imagine living life with no one real loved ones. Like I have 6 siblings, you know, hard to not have one of them be attached to you.

But anyways, see, now Alex is arguing if Kyle's dad was a good guy, and like, it pulls into questions which way this story is gonna go. With this it looks like it's gonna go he's not bad, but then what's withthe letter? Wasn't it a love letter? I'm confused

Girl just broke in! Was there no other way? Why does everyone resort to breaking windows in this town?

Yeah, I saw him being there coming. That was obvious after she went to unplug

Ok, was it not a love letter? Is that why it's possible this was just a detoxt?

Confetti gun, cause even if you can't legally own a gun in America you still need to have one

Ok, these three feel so much like siblings here, and I always have to stop to appreciate it cause so many things get siblings wrong.

This time! And truth comes out😬.

😲 why did I not see this twist coming! I'm quite literally speechless rn

Holy shit! I was pausing to say something and the gu went off. Another good twist! Why are there so many twists!? Help this show is actually good. So far I think this is my favourite episode.

How does she know what gun he has?

Oh back to the three of them. That's bad. I thought she was like investigating Rosa or something back then too, that's why they made her leave, but it was literally just cause Max liked her. Like I'm sorry, but that crosses boundaries. Making life changing decisions without the people who's lives your changing.

Fhskfhdskhd. Ok, they gonna be feeling guilty though. Like man, seeing his reaction hearing him be so broken, must hurt knowing you caused someone you love all that pain.

Also, finding her, yes please! She's kinda in danger rn.

Lmao, the gun! I hate that I laugh at it.

Holy shit that's that guy! Is that family bad guys? Omg I'm so confused help

Look, we love a girl who will fight, but tbh, not the best idea. Kinda sucks though cause I can't think of anything better, so A for effort

IS HE PLANNING ON BURNING HER ALIVE! Bitch why!? Like you could've just shot her. This is way too brutal, thank God she won't actually get hurt

Ok, I thought Max was gonna end up saving her and I was low-key rolling my eyes at damsel in distress, but the fact that she got out on her own? 👌 Also Wyatt is dumb. How do you mess up murder that badly?

Ok, so Kyle's dad good apparently. Yay

Anyways. Alex's dad? He fucking disgusts me. He can choke

Aw Kyle, I like that. I hope they can get over that bad phase, cause I'm really digging this friendship. And also I want to hug Alex rn. He kinda needs it

Yeah, he was gonna be dead

Symbolism! Shot in the same spot she was, by the same guy too! Ok ok ok. Um, I was thinking somethings gonna happen and he'll be fine, then I remembered the picture thing I mentioned earlier with Max being see through and now I'm terrified.

Ambulance is here. It's ok. He can be saved. I'm freaking out guys, this episode doesn't stop (unless I pause it of course) it's been an hour and a half and I still half 10 minutes. The episode is 40 minutes.

Ok it's all good. He's safe. Now a moment for him and Liz.

Oh, Noah's confronting her. I mean, fair enough, he's been worried all day.

Well shit. I didn't think it'd get to this point. Like I thought it was gonna be just "where were you? What's going on?" But I should have known we weren't pulling punches today. Things are coming to a head with these two too, the bottles, the lies. Isobel, I feel like you have to tell him.

I feel so bad for her. Like I get why he's doing this. A relationship can't work if there's lies, but she feels she has to lie. It sucks

Ok, yeah, digging into your dead father's history can do that. Also did the actor for Kyle play someone named Tyler? Cause every now and then I want to call him Tyler. Not as much as I want to call Alex Caleb (not even close) but still

What is Alex finding right now? Ajdgkszosysk that's the alien tech omg! He's finding out too!

Aw! I just need Max and Liz to get together right now. Of course it always comes back to Rosa

Yes! Tell people. Michael's right.

Uh, there's one more secret

Shit! Liz has put it all together! Omg I was right it was Isobel! Yes! And no, because like it sucks for her. But yay I'm right!

Fuck me! Ok! Hands down my favourite episode thus far! Like easily. Anyways, it makes me mad that I need to sleep. I want to just keep watching.

#rnm liveblog #roswell new mexico

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kimjoongs · 4 years ago

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ateez playing genshin

hongjoong

mains: albedo and mona

initially wasnt interested in playing but then he heard the soundtrack from another member’s phone and was intrigued

ended up staying up all night just playing the game

chose lumine to be the traveler bc he thought she was cool (sorry aether </3)

gets rlly rlly into the lore and is a sucker for the graphics and music

spends most of his time just talking to npc’s and reading everything they have to say

failed the gliding test many times so he asked yunho to do it for him

“you just follow the rings–”

“i’m TRYING”

gets scared when the music suddenly changes as a crowd of hilichurls comes running towards him

has a personal vendetta against paimon idk why but he does

played co-op once with san and yunho but instantly regretted it bc they kept teleporting and leaving him behind

seonghwa

mains: diona

doesnt rlly know what he’s doing but he thinks the game is very pretty <3

aether is his traveler and seonghwa is v attached to him

knows all of the names of the npc’s in monstadt so whenever he passes by them he greets them out loud “hi flora” “oh hey huffman” “SARAAAAH”

always gasps when he finds a seelie and gets all :D as he follows it

keeps falling off the mountains bc he underestimates how tall they are and loses stamina before he reaches the top

absolutely DETESTS doing quests in dragonspine

“wHY IS THERE NO TORCH HERE”

*comes across a frostarm lawachurl* “haha NO <3″

“oh don’t worry joel i’ll find your dad!” *5 minutes later* “nvm fuck your dad sorry joel”

has so many ingredients in his inventory so he’s always stocked with food

always denies wooyoung’s request to join

yunho

mains: amber, lisa or kaeya

the first person in the group who started playing genshin and downloaded the game just a few days after it came out

HAS SO MANY GOOD FUCKING CHARACTERS but always mains the three mentioned above bc “they’ve been w me since the beginning you don’t understand the bond we have”

he and san have the most experience w the game so they’re always helping out the other members

absolutely LOVES liyue and likes to glide around bc it’s so pretty

when he’s on the ground he likes to hop around instead of sprint bc according to him it’s more fun that way

he thinks the slimes are cute

is supersuper lucky and gets a new character w every pull (he cried when he got zhongli)

he’s super knowledgeable about how the game works and when he’s trying to explain the other members are like ????? but they just smile and nod bc yunho literally lights up talking about it and they would rather punt themselves into the sun than make him upset

spends lots of his mora leveling up his weapons so as a result he’s always low on that “spare mora pls”

yeosang

mains: qiqi

doesnt really know what he’s doing pt 2 but he’s vibing

started panicking when he had to run (glide) from the knights of favonius and COULD NOT find diluc’s tavern for the longest time

“aww look at the cute animals” he says as he aims his arrow at it

teleports to a statue of the seven in the middle of a boss fight bc all of his characters are dead and he has no food left

wants to throttle tf out of paimon

collects potatoes and radish in the middle of a fight

he’ll put off doing quests but ends up gaining more quests to do so he ends up having like 238743875 different quests

purposefully bumps into the npc’s bc he thinks it’s funny

he, wooyoung, and san all played co-op tgt but ended up just playing hide n seek in liyue

forgot that wangshu inn had an elevator so he’s been taking the stairs the whole time

san

mains: tartaglia/childe

has a personal vendetta against reckless pallad and refuses to save him

the geo hypostasis is the bane of his very existence and he almost cursed it out on more than one occasion

spent 10 minutes trying to climb qingyun peak only to fall off once he reached the top </3

complained a lot during his quest w albedo

“why are we doing all these experiments”

“i am NOT drinking that potion—fuck okay i’m drinking the potion”

“why are you giving me a sword did you steal the sword albedo what the hell”

has the BIGGEST soft spot for razor and he most likely cried a little a lot when he met him for the first time

he rarely ever uses the free characters that the game gives him in the beginning

likes to climb the anemo archon statue in monstadt and sit in its hands

mingi

mains: closes his eyes and whoever he lands on is his main (it’s sucrose)

saw a ruin guard just chilling and immediately turned right back around

has the fattest crush on diluc but dont we all

“...do i have enough stamina to swim across that? i think i do” *ends up drowning not even halfway*

gets super excited whenever he finds a chest but doesnt like having to fight enemies to unlock it

“ooh i see a chest—” *slimes pop up from who knows where* “nevermind”

he gets really into the cut scenes and watches them so intently it’s cute

takes a long time to get his ar up bc he mostly enjoys running around and playing casually

he HATES timed fights bc it stresses him out

racks up a lot of primogems but never really uses them for some reason

feels bad whenever he has to switch a character in his party bc he needs a character with a diff element

“icb the game lets us use good characters during certain quests but then rips them away from us as soon as the quest is over i call scam—”

wooyoung

mains: ningguang or fischl

he was in the middle of a quest but completely forgot about it bc he saw an anemoculus and spent forever trying to get it

likes to bully timmie on a daily basis

“sorry timmie i need fowl” *does an elemental burst on the birds*

he knew how much seonghwa wanted to get diluc so when wooyoung pulled him he rubbed it in seonghwa’s face for 2 whole weeks

during the quests where he has to be sneaky, he always got caught and almost threw his phone after having to restart for the 10th time

when he plays co-op with any of the other members, wooyoung just starts attacking them w his weapons

“fuck the fatui everyone hates the fatui....except tartaglia i like him”

gets annoyed when he sees hilichurls running after him

“i’m just trying to deliver food LEAVE ME ALONE”

will be in the middle of doing a quest when he sees a dog and spends 5 minutes just standing next to it

jongho

mains: diluc

he’s more of a silent player, meaning that he plays the game a LOT but isn’t as vocal about it

“hey jongho what ar are you?” “30″ “...didnt you just start playing three days ago?

*shrugs* “yeah”

the members who have a lower world level than him ask him if he can do co-op and help them defeat some enemies that they’re having trouble w but jongho’s like nah do it yourself

finishes all of his commissions in like 2 minutes

he agrees w diluc and also has a thing against the knights of favonius

“who was the one who defeated stormterror? yeah that’s right ME”

“i snuck in to steal the holy lyre and none of them noticed pssh amateurs”

the only person he’ll play co-op with is yunho and the two of them just wreak havoc all over liyue and monstadt

had to fight 3 ruin guards at the same and hated every second of it

instead of sprinting on the ground he just hops/glides from roof to roof

#thanks to my fellow grills caly and vivi for helping me decide the mains <3 #ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho

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uncertaininnit · 4 years ago

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who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck.

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED.

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty.

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does.

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must.

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile.

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile.

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice.

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy.

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM.

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy.

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

#simp #like im literally the biggest simp #mcyt #dream smp #wilbur soot #the_eret #tommyinnit

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midnight-in-town · 4 years ago

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Hello! I came across your RCMT and I loved it to say the least! Watching their interactions as children tipped me off the wrong way and I couldn't quite place why but I think you hit the nail on the head.

So its about 5 am for me now so I might be going delirious but I was wondering (going by your theory) if r!Ciels participation in the massacre at the Phantomhive manor ( him assisting the intruder if not planning the attack himself) ended up being a bigger reason for his "defiled soul' to be powerful enough for a (as far as we know) powerful demon to be summoned, rather than the horrid things the cult did to him being responsible. ( I adore the thought of Sebastian being a lowlife in the demon world idk why I just want this man to be bullied somehow but thats a whole other thing. )

PS: Also that might be me misremembering the manga but I'm sure no powerful demon would have appeared if the soul wasn't "bad" enough for them , I mean from what we know Sebastian is " spicing up " O!Ciels soul with evil deeds so it'll be tastier later on. So going from that what better soul to consume than the one who has wished and assisted on the death of their father? (And most of their household.)

Again that might just be me and my deep hatred towards the use of sexual violence in horror (and in fiction in general)but I hated the idea that victims of //r*p*// are being seen as defiled, or corrupted. So I rather like the idea of r!ciel being just enough of a corrupt person by himself.

Hello! Wowww, long ask, I didn’t even it was possible to do that now!!

Anyway, first of all, thank you very much for reading! :3 I know the RCMT is not everyone’s favorite theory (and its name is misleading), but I do enjoy it on several levels. I’m glad it made some sense to you, Anon. :))

Other fans either prefer the theory that real!Ciel never had anything to do with the massacre 4 years ago, or the twist that our!Ciel’s “asthma” was actually caused by real!Ciel [x] (as in some sort of Munchausen syndrome by proxy, if you want). To each their own, Yana will eventually tell us the truth.

Moving onto your idea:

“I was wondering if r!Ciels participation in the massacre at the Phantomhive manor ( him assisting the intruder if not planning the attack himself) ended up being a bigger reason for his "defiled soul' to be powerful enough for a powerful demon to be summoned, rather than the horrid things the cult did to him being responsible”

Hmm, I had never thought about that and I really enjoy the idea. :)

For now, we unfortunately don’t have enough knowledge about demonology in Kuroverse to be able to answer that question. At the same time, that also means that you’re free to imagine whatever you want, until Sensei possibly answers this point one day. :)

The thing is, we don’t even know if Seb ate real!Ciel’s soul to cross over (it’s really unclear), even less about if it’s possible for Seb to be aware of how real!Ciel’s soul got “corrupted” (be it because of the cult, or the possibility of the RCMT). As far as I can remember, he never made any allusion as to real!Ciel’s soul besides the fact that it was how he got to cross over and answer our!Ciel’s call.

Whereas Ciel’s soul is bound by contract to be Seb’s dinner, so maybe it’s different, as in, Seb (who’s going to eat this soul) enjoys the events “spicing up” Ciel’s soul, because he knows by experience that it’s going to be extra tasty that way:

It’s really hard to say but, without any hint either way, we can imagine pretty much whatever we want. :)

I rather like the idea of r!ciel being just enough of a corrupt person by himself.

Actually, I do as well, but for different reasons than what you mentioned about the cult.

After all, we know that the Phantomhive family is said to be cursed:

Of course, it has many possible meanings (for example [x][x]), but it’s also interesting that the Undertaker (phantomhive fan #1) has described our!Ciel as being “different from his ancestors” (ch84), as in probably more selfless [x][x][x]:

Because in that case, it wouldn’t be surprising that real!Ciel was “corrupted” even at 10 years old. It would just be yet another curse befalling this family, amongst all the many other possible ones.

Besides, when you see his attitude as a Bizarre Doll in the current arc, it doesn’t necessarily come from the time with the cult: I mean, sure, he immensely suffered and probably got slightly crazy because of it, but there is still the obsession with his little brother, to the point that he’d try to kill Soma and to destroy the Bitter Rabbits (proof that Ciel succeeded in becoming a toy maker).

There has to be a background to this strange attachment from before they were abducted, as the flashback chapters before ch134 do a good job foreshadowing.

TL;DR I’m still sold on the RCMT (real!Ciel not being the big bad/target of Ciel’s revenge, but just being in/directly guilty for the events of 4 years ago).

However, would it have been enough corruption to pay for a demon crossing over (without all the horrors done by the cult)? It’s hard to say, but maybe. Desperation and giving up on God on Ciel’s part were what Seb said triggered his summoning though:

I don’t know if that answers your question, sorry if not, Anon.

Thanks again for reading and I wish you a nice weekend ahead! :3

#kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive #rcmt #sebastian michaelis #2CT #tw: rape #tw: child abuse #kuro136 #kuroshitsuji theory #anon #answers

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romeoandjulietyouwish · 5 years ago

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Could you maybe write a Parkner fic where Valentines day is coming up, and Peter's super sad about it because he thinks he wont get anything (and because hes hardcore crushing on Harley, but thinks Harley doesnt like him back that way), but Harley does like him back and gets him flowers and chocolates or some other type of gift? Maybe Peter gets small little gifts all day from a 'secret admirer' and it turns out to be Harley? Idk just something cute and fluffy. Love your fics!! ❤❤

Thank you for this great prompt! Sorry it took so long

This is LONG so here’s the ao3 link!

“Wake up, sweetheart!” May calls from the kitchen as she pours herself a cup of coffee. “Time for school!”

Peter groans in response, burying his head into his pillow, “I’m sick!” He tries, faking a weak cough.

May sees right through him. “No, you’re not! Get your butt out of bed!”

Peter groans again and sits up. Today’s going to suck. Peter quickly gets dressed, brushes his teeth, and does his best to tame his curls before he opens his bedroom door and wanders into the kitchen.

May kisses his cheek when he walks in, “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”

Peter rolls his eyes, “Why does everyone love this holiday so much?”

“Why do you hate it so much?” May counters.

Peter stares at her, “You know why, May.”

She brushes his hair out of his face, “I know, but try to have a good day today okay?” Peter gives her a small nod. May kisses his cheek, “I gotta go to work. I’ll be back for dinner, okay baby?”

Peter nods, “Love you, May.”

“Love you too,” she smiles as she swings her bag over her shoulder and walks out of the apartment.

Peter sighs.

Today is the worst. But he bites into a piece of toast and throws his things into his backpack.

The walk to school with Ned does nothing to brighten his spirits as Ned only fills the conversation with his plans with Betty tonight. He’s taking her to a romantic dinner and then once Ned’s parents leave for their date, Ned’s taking Betty to his house to do...other things. Ordinarily, Peter finds Ned and Betty’s relationship rather sweet. But today he just can’t handle it.

He just clenches his jaw and ignores it as best he can.

Things are worse at school. The amount of PDA is through the roof and he can feel so many eyes on him. Peter just ducks his head and walks as fast as he can to his locker. He swings it open angrily, startling when something falls onto his feet from inside. When Peter looks down he finds a rose. A red rose just fell out of his locker. Peter picks the flower up curiously, turning it to read the small note attached to it.

From your secret admirer.

What?

He inspects the note for any sign of who gave it to him but finds nothing. It could have been Harley. Peter dismisses that thought quickly. Harley doesn’t think of him that way. Peter’s head snaps up from the rose when he sees Flash and his cronies making their way down the hallway. Peter’s heart speeds up and he quickly looks back down at the flower. It’s a prank. Again. Just like last year. Peter fights off the angry tears that start to fill his eyes. Whoever is doing this to him just wants to see a reaction. So Peter won’t give him one.

He tucks the rose into his backpack and hurries to class. But Peter comes to a stop when he sees his desk. In the middle of it is a pink sticky note and a bar of his favorite chocolate. He picks them up as he sinks into his seat, reading the note.

You are so beautiful, Peter. You make my heart stop when you walk into a room. -SA

A small smile crosses Peter’s face. But it disappears when the door to the class opens and the rest of the class begins to file in. Peter quickly hides them in his backpack. Whoever this is can’t be serious. Peter’s been the victim of too many cruel pranks to think this is true.

He keeps his head down and his arms wrapped around his stomach for the rest of the class. He doesn’t want to give whoever sent these the chance to see how the words make his heart flutter.

“Are you okay?” Harley asks him during the next class, leaning across the aisle.

Peter nods sharply. His mood only got worse when he received another note a gift at the start of this class. The small gift had been a toy penguin, his favorite animal. And the note had said:

I love the way you smile when you understand something new. -SA

Peter hates that it made him happy. Words from a bully, from someone who is just gearing him up for disappointment, shouldn’t make him this happy. He quickly shoved them into his bag. He didn’t want Harley to see. Harley, the boy he’s been crushing on for over a year, will never be allowed to know the humiliation Peter is going through.

“I’m fine,” Peter hisses.

He hates the way Harley looks dejected as he turns away. Peter trains his eyes on the front of the class but doesn’t listen to what the teacher is saying. It doesn’t matter. As he zones out, he imagines a world in which these gifts and notes came from Harley. He pictures Harley memorizing his schedule, leaving class early to plant the gift in his next class, perfectly planning each gift to make Peter blush. At the end of the day, Harley would pull him aside and tell him that he was his secret admirer and then he would take Peter’s face in his hands and kiss him. Peter would thank him shyly for the presents. Harley would smile his lopsided smile that makes Peter’s heart flutter. Then Harley would bite his lip and look at Peter like-

No.

Peter won’t let that go any farther.

It’s not Harley.

The class drones on but Peter can’t get Harley out of his mind. At least it’s a welcome distraction.

He can almost feel Harley’s rough hands combing through his hair, pulling him closer and closer-

Stop.

Peter forces himself out of his fanciful daydream. He doesn’t even acknowledge Harley when the bell rings, dismissing them to lunch. Harley calls his name, but Peter doesn’t turn around. MJ has always said he’s never been a good liar and Mr. Stark always tells him he wears his heart on his sleeve. So he won’t look at Harley. Not when his mind is still mulling over those stupid notes.

All Peter can hope for is a normal lunch. No flowers or notes or gifts. But sure enough on their table in the lunchroom is a red rose and a small note. MJ, who is already sitting, fixes him with a questioning look. Peter throws himself down on the bench and looks pleadingly with MJ. “Help me.”

She quirks a brow, “What?”

“I keep getting these stupid notes and stupid flowers from someone,” Peter whines.

“That’s a problem because...?”

“Because it’s not real!” Peter exclaims. “Because this is obviously a prank and I’m just waiting for whoever is doing this to me to laugh at me and say it was all a joke.”

MJ sighs, “Peter. Has it occurred to you that this may not be a joke? Maybe someone really likes you.”

“MJ. Do you remember last year?” A dark look crosses over her face and Peter knows she is replaying the same horrible memories as him. “Yeah. I’m not falling for this again.”

He stuffs the rose into his backpack, eyes quickly reading the note against his will.

I love the way your hair looks in the sunshine. -SA

Peter’s eye catches on Harley walking over to them so he quickly tells MJ, “Don’t tell Harley.”

“Why?”

“MJ. Please. Don’t.” Peter begs.

MJ nods quickly. Harley smiles when he sits down, “Hey guys. Where’s Ned?”

“Eating lunch with Betty,” Peter points to where Ned and Betty are cuddled up at a different table. He sighs and tears his sandwich in two. “I hate Valentine’s Day.”

Harley frowns, “Really? It seems like something you would be all over.”

Peter shakes his head, “Nope.” Harley throws a look at MJ who just shakes her head, ending the conversation. Peter doesn’t say much all of lunch. Harley and MJ carry on a conversation about some book they read. Then Peter’s phone dings.

Harley: You sure you’re okay?

Peter: I’m fine.

Harley: You don’t seem fine

Peter: I. Am. Fine.

Peter feels bad, but he doesn’t want Harley to know what happened last year and how it’s happening again this year. It’s too humiliating.

After lunch, Peter hurries to his next class. Maybe if he gets there fast enough his “secret admirer” won’t have time to leave him anything. But he’s out of luck because there on his desk waiting for him is a note and another chocolate.

You are such a unique and caring and genuine person. -SA

He crumples the note up and shoves it into his bag. Why can’t his awful day just be over already?

The next class is exactly the same. He finds another note on his desk:

I have never loved someone as much as I love you, Peter Parker. -SA

Peter hates those words. He is so distracted by the feeling the words give him that he doesn’t notice Flash walk in. “What’s that, Penis?” Flash asks as he leers over Peter. Peter quickly crushes the note into his fist.

“None of your business, Flash,” Peter bites.

That makes a horrible smirk cross his face, “Is that a valentine?” Flash laughs, turning to his friends, “I wonder who sent it? I mean, I can’t think of a single person who wouldn’t take a dead animal over you.”

Normally Flash’s half baked insults wouldn’t hurt Peter this much, but between all of his intense feelings and thoughts today, he can’t help the pain that erupts in his chest. Thankfully the teacher starts class before Flash can say anything more.

The entire time his heart rate won’t die down. He replays the words from the note over and over again in his mind. I love you. That’s what the note said.

I love you.

Peter allows himself a small smile. Even if it’s a lie, the words are nice to hear. But in all honesty, he just wants this day to end. He wants to go home and cry until he passes out.

The second the final bell ring, Peter rushes to his locker. He gets there before the hall fills with students running through the front doors. He tries to throw his books in as fast as possible, but something catches his eye. Inside is a note.

Meet me by the football field. -SA

Peter slams his locker shut. He won’t. That’s what happened last year and...

Peter runs.

He runs as fast as he can out of the building and down the street and back to his apartment. Once he’s inside he empties the notes and flowers out on his bed five of them. The same handwriting. All messages of love. Things only someone who really was watching him would know these things. Who could have sent these to him?

Peter has no idea. He crumples them up in his hands and throws them across the room in a shout of rage. He slams his fists on his bed as hard as he can, tears pouring down his cheeks. Why can’t these stupid bullies leave him alone? Allow him a moment of peace? Why do that have to ruin every day for him?

Valentine’s day is supposed to be filled with joy and love and happiness. And instead, Peter spends another year in complete misery and confusion.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there crying, but eventually, the sky grows dark and Peter forces himself out of his bedroom. He wants to get some food, maybe a glass of water, and then go right back to his bedroom and watch tv until he falls asleep.

But just as he walks into the kitchen he hears a knock on his door. Peter frowns and walks over to it, opening it quickly. On the other side is-

“Harley?” Peter breathes. Because there stands Harley. He is soaked to the bone and wearing a black suit, holding a bouquet of red roses.

“Hi,” Harley smiles that same dopey smile Peter loves.

“You’re wet,” Peter acknowledges slowly.

Harley rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, yeah it’s raining.” They stand there for a moment longer, just looking at each other. “Can I come in?”

Peter nods quickly, “Sorry, yeah, come on in. I’ll get you a towel.” Harley stands in the middle of the doorway as Peter walks to the closet in the bathroom. His heart is beating like a butterfly in his chest. Harley is here. With flowers. Could it be...?

“Here,” Peter extends the towel to Harley who wraps it around his shoulder. “You can come in and sit.” Peter leads Harley into the living room and they sink down onto the couch beside each other, only a few inches between them. After a moment, Peter has to know, “Harley? Why are you here?”

“To make things right.” Harley extends the bouquet of flowers toward Peter. “There are for you.”

“For me?” Peter takes then tentatively.

“Yeah. Look, Peter, I was the one that sent you those notes today.” Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my g- “And I’m sorry if I freaked you out. I just wanted to do something special for you and when you told MJ at lunch she pulled me aside after and told me that I needed to stop what I was doing because I was scaring you because of what happened last year, but at that point, it was too late and...” Harley takes Peter’s hands. “I am so sorry, Peter. I didn’t know. I-I just wanted to show you how much I love about you in a special way. Peter-”

“Harley.” Peter interrupts. Tears are pooled in his eyes. It wasn’t a prank. Someone really thinks about him like that. And that someone is Harley. “I love you too.”

Harley looks up, “You-you do?” Peter nods. Harley wastes no time in pulling Peter into a tight hug. Peter doesn’t even care that Harley is wet and cold because he’s here. He’s here and he loves Peter. When Harley pulls back, Peter brings their foreheads together. “Peter, can I-”

Peter cuts Harley off by tipping his head forward and kissing him. It’s exactly like Peter imagined, excepts Harley’s hands fall to his waist instead of his cheeks. But Peter doesn’t mind one bit. Because it’s so perfect. Harley’s lips are so soft and gentle against his. Peter pulls Harley closer to him, trapping his face in his hands. Harley pulls out of the kiss after a few more seconds, falling against the back of the couch, touching his thumb to his lips.

“Wow,” Peter says, slightly out of breath.

“I wish I did that before I put us through that today,” Harley says, almost in a daze.

“Well, you can do it again,” Peter blushes.

Harley sits up and puts his hands on Peter’s him, “Come here then.”

Peter smiles and leans in. Just before their lips meet Peter whispers, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

...

Send me some prompts!

#my fic #peter parker #harley keener #spiderman #spiderson #spiderson fic #parkner #peter/harley #parkner fic #/ bullying #tw bullying

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mrsgaryrennell · 5 years ago

Text

Random Question Tag #2

I’m Latina so it’s expected of me to arrive late to anything 💀 gorgeous @ariendiel tagged me 🥺 I’m so sorry sis, I didn’t get a chance to do this until now 😭

1. Tim or Bobby?

Tim lol I’m sorry guys. I think Tim is superior 😬

2. Choose two Islanders (from any season) to be quarantined with, and why?

Talia and Priya, my two queens 😌 I know it’d be super fun and have girls night all the time haha

3. How/when did you discover the game?

Noel Miller on June 2019 🤡

4. If you could rewrite a scene, what scene would you rewrite?

Omg 💀there’s so many haha Hmm, I’d say re-writing the mean tweets lol So instead of revealing the Lottie/Gary kiss, it would reveal the MC/Gary kiss. Show Lottie that Gary still interested in MC 💅🏼I hate how they played it out to be a secret but it was never revealed 😑

5. Favourite challenge?

I wasn’t really fond of the challenges lmao but if I had to choose one, it’d be the baby challenge 🥺it was so cute

6. If you could put/ship two Islanders together, who would you put together and why?

Ooooh I like this question lol and I’ve thought about it haha I’d put Lucas and Priya together. I think they’d get each other a lot with their ambitions and they look hot af together too 🥵

I also think that Chelsea and Henrik would make a great couple tbh They’re both so sweet and adorable. I can see Henrik really trying his best to make Chelsea happy by doing anything she wants to do lol 💛💛

7. Describe your ideal S3 LI.

Pedro Pascal lol I would love a suave Latino LI okay I know he’d be a heartthrob 🥴

Fusebox better make Dicky into a LI otherwise Imma cry

8. New or old Hannah?

You really making me choose between the two huh lol ugh alright. Um, old!Hannah Montana was tolerable I guess. I still think she was annoying whether she’s the old or new Hannah 🙄

9. Who was dumped too soon?

I think Lurik was dumped too soon, along with Priya. I think they should’ve stayed longer and it was a missed opportunity to really dive into the character’s growth.

10. Jakub or Felix?

Hah, wow. Y’all really be testing my answers here lol I would choose Felix 🤢but I wouldn’t tolerate him for that long 😂

11. Henrik or Lucas?

Agh this question is kinda hard to answer. So I am physically more attracted to Lucas. He’s very handsome but his personality is not for me. He seems too stern and serious lol Just overall, his personality is a turn off for me 🤷🏻‍♀️

And with Henrik, I’m not totally into his physical appearance but I LOVE his personality lol He’s def a sweetheart, super chill, and funny. Knowing me, I do go for personality more haha so I’d choose Henrik 💛

12. Jo or Hope?

Easy. I’d go for Jo. A lot of people don’t like her and I’ll be honest, I don’t think she’s all that bad 👀people def gonna come for me haha I know a lot of them don’t like Jo fsr

13. Lottie or Priya?

Come on now lol Priya 💯She will always have my loyalty. She was the first girl there never judged MC’s interest for any guy in the villa. Lottie can shove her hypocrite girl code bs up her ass

14. What originally drew you to your LI?

So, I think a lot of people are not gonna believe me when I say that I wasn’t totally attracted to Gary physically at the beginning. I didn’t have MC couple up with him at the beginning 💀But his personality, being a total softie, and being family-oriented turned me into a Gary stan 😭😭😭🤧

15. Favourite LI of all time (both seasons)?

I was never attached to the S1 characters tbh But my biased ass is gonna say that Gary is truly the best LI of both seasons. You literally get a little bit of everything with him. You get a bit of a slow burn if you think about it. He knows he’s into MC but he’s still trying to let go of his lad ways of life lol Until CA hits, he’s determined to pursue MC. I do believe that out of all LI’s, Gary’s the one that falls the hardest for MC. Just the gem scenes alone really show how mesmerized he is of her 😭But yeah, you get drama, romance, funny scenes with Gary, extreme fluff, his backstory, sexy and playful gems scenes. It’s a great route 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

16. Favourite scene/day?

Idk why but I loved the day MC and Gary got to meet the fam 🥺🥺🥺Same day he also asked her to be his girlfriend. Such as wholesome day tbh, I love it!

17. Who had the best character development?

Again, my biased ass haha I think Gary has the best character development, hands down. How he opened up about his mental health to MC like I wasn’t expecting that from FB so I love them for giving our Garebear that in-depth backstory about having bullies as a child, his dad leaving, and having body image issues. Just like, omg ��At first sight, he just looks like a very confident man but underneath all that, there’s heavy layers 🤧

18. One thing that irked you about the game?

Hah, Lottie. I hate that whenever Lottie criticized MC, MC couldn’t say shit. She couldn’t clap back and MC looked like a rag in the villa. I wish MC had the opportunity to put her in her place, especially during the Gary route. We sort of got that when R!Hannah came over but I just felt like it wasn’t enough 🙄I just wanted MC to tell everyone’s truths at some point

19. Season 1 reunion or Season 2 wedding?

I think S2 wedding was better but it’s still not that great lol

20. Describe domestic life or a head-canon about/with your LI.

After the show, Gary took MC to meet his nan 🥺And Gary’s family loves MC to death. They def moved in together lol MC and Gary argue about him not picking up after himself cuz he’s a slob 😂I also think MC teaches Gary how to cook because she ain’t gonna be doing everything around haha

21. Guess some of the Islanders surnames?

Girl, idk lol I’m not good at any of that.

I seriously don’t know who to tag lmao anyone is free to do it 😌 It was a lot of fun!

#love island game #love island the game #litg #the tag was lots of fun!#thank you for letting me participate 😌

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thepeerieeen · 7 years ago

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I'm having a "bad brain day" so I'm gonna binge watch some (presumably shitty) teenage tv, and you never know, I might enjoy it. So I'm seeing Free Rein on Netflix and I'm gonna give it a watch: here are my thoughts below the cut (it gets long, sorry). I should also note that I know next to nothing about horses or horse riding. Also there are probably spoilers ahead.

Ep1:

Nice scenery

She looks uncomfortable, like they've just put her on a horse and told her to smile

Why is Zoe Scottish

Wait nvm

Oh hey, Zoe's cute

The grandad is brilliant I already love him

Ah, no father. Same

Why is there just shit on the side of the road, there are no animals around and I doubt the horses would go to the side of the road to poo

Why does he still have kids drawings on his cupboards?

Digging the teapot

Ah, layered tops. Typical teenage fashion

"The light will come through again" needing that today

Haha "what's a wifi"

At least they represent Jetlag though

Ah yes, one daughter goes missing - send the other one out to look for her. What could possibly go wrong.

Ooh, that acting wasn't great. Though the blonde is actually quite a good actress

Ooh, Raven. Ooh, foreshadowing (I guess)

K but this isn't the type of thing Austen would write

Why is Marcus like 25, the others are like 12 what

He's not even that attractive? (Says the bisexual who is more into women rn)

Horsome - the new fetch

Ah yes, get off the bike, that makes sense

Oh look a wild horse, who'd've ever thought???

Oh wow! Wild horse who is only understood by outcast? This is groundbreaking!

(Jk I'm kinda into this ngl)

An actual Scottish person!

Who's the guy with the cheekbones and why is he so shifty

What happened to the bike?

Oh Derek is obviously in love with the main stable person

Ah yes, stop looking for your sister and go chat to a horse

Bitch number one has arrived

Of course she owns the horse. That makes sense

They've called him hot Marcus jesus what is this

Cheekbones is stealing. Stop being shifty.

Welp theres the first continuity error I've spotted

Cheekbones is stalking now, apparently

Cheekbones is about to be falling in love, I'm calling it

He's also like, twenty tho

Oh shit what why is she being stalked now??

Ep2:

This is clearly a dream though

Are jelly shoes back in fashion? Sweet

I refuse to believe she could hear him from that distance and a closed window

I predict a love triangle

I mean cheekbones has a point

That wasn't a long conversation, like, that woulda taken an hour for me how does the mother do that?

Ah, ye olde fart joke

Bitch number one pulling the "I have lots of money" card

So they're putting cheekbones and Zoe together. I mean I can live with that

Oh my god cheekbones don't be such an arse

You'd think the mother would have worried if her other daughter didn't turn up the the pier where they agreed to meet?

Let's read mum's old diary! That can never go wrong!

They're literally stalking hot Marcus? Thats a?? Wee bit weird???

They're actually letting Mia go on Raven? Wow

Bob is kinda cute actually

I mean... she kinda deserved to fall not gonna lie

Bet Zoe is gonna make the magazine cover. Would serve Mia right lmao

Ok that's kinda cute, cheekbones. At least we know you're human

Wait what? Is cheekbone's name Pin?

WHAT SORT OF A NAME IS PIN?!

And the mother doesn't want the daughter to be riding. That makes a lot of sense. Totally.

Did she even peel those carrots?

Why has no one noticed she's wearing someone else's hoodie?

THANK YOOOOU

Oh shit, cheekbones is stealing the sedatives. No one saw that coming

Ep3:

K but she didn't say you couldn't go to the stables?

Rosie is honestly brilliant

Grandpa and I are on the same wavelength

Pin cam - idk man surely you could just... talk to him?

How could Marcus tell it was too small?? He wasn't looking at her???

Oh my god. Tie up your hair

Of course she's a prodigy, why wouldn't she be

They actually have a secret hip hop dance routine?? I wanna see that not gonna lie

The pun and finger guns have me. This kid is my new favourite character

Rosie, much though I like you, that is a total breach of privacy

Told you Pin cam would backfire

Now Marcus is going to find out about her "recording him"

It's only £10? I wanna go to pony camp.

Bet cheekbones is gonna go into where she just went

Called it

There must be a more subtle way to break into the medicine cabinet than with a screwdriver?

He's obviously not a horse thief? Medicine thief sure, horse thief nah

And I suppose that's Raven telling her it wasn't him, because that makes perfect sense

Ugh Mia calm down

Tbh maybe the parents would be better off separated? But like idk

It's the police, for why

Of course it was firefly that got stolen. I kinda feel for Mia and her bad acting.

Ep4:

How come is Pin allowed to come back even though he was stealing sedatives? That's still kinda illegal?

You're not banned from the stables though, are you Zoe

Rosie you sarcastic legend

She has a point though, what if she breaks her leg

Why is everyone attracted to Marcus?

Puns

Oh look, it pin

.....why do I dress the same way as Pin?

Who in their right mind needs three horses?

Pin is ignoring her - quite right honestly

Ah yes, subtly eavesdropping

I bet Elliot isn't even E

Ben is great

Ben and Rosie are in love. I've decided.

If course Pin is leading the hack

Mr Cheekbones! That's totally who he is! I called it!

He clearly doesn't want to talk, like... maybe let Pin get over the whole getting arrested thing? Idk

Why Becky? I don't understand?

Ah yes, follow the broody horse guy who was stealing sedatives, that can't possibly go wrong and is obviously the best option

Wait so Zoe followed Pin to his house and is now demanding he tells her what he has in the weird crate thing? Wow

And it's a horse. Wow. It's not like this is a horse show or anything

Called it, not a horse thief

Pin’s actually kinda sweet

Wait

Am I attracted to Pin?

I think I'm attracted to Pin

Shit

Decent cinematography there though

Ghost pony is a brilliant story

Wow Mia is such a dick

Now, this can go one of two ways. And I confidently predict Mia is gonna tell Zoe's mum she's not allowed to ride

Called it

Ep5:

Well the riding crop thing Is obviously the mother's

Oh yeah, Marcus is a character

How did anyone actually get close enough to Raven to braid his tail?

Savaaaaaaage

Ugh "like electricity" ughhh

What happened to Rosie?

Grandpa is brilliant and I love him

Why would fixing a radio make it up to Pin? I don't understand?

Those leather trousers though....

They're actually kinda cute together.... what is this

I ship it?

I still find Pin vaguely attractive and idk why

Oh hey Marcus, you're here as Love Interest #2

Oh no, I feel a bit bad for Rosie, I hope she doesn't get bullied

I'm emotionally attached

What is this

Why am I hooked on this television programme

Why

She can't seriously be intending to stay the whole night in the hay? It gets cold at night how're they gonna survive?

Oh actually Rosie might do okay. Cool

Who is gonna clean up all those crisps though?

Ghost pony, again

Pebbles?! Brilliant

I love Becky.

This can not end well

Definition of me on social media

She has five horses? Who needs five horses??

It's gonna be Rosie and crew, not horse thieves

..., that was unexpected

I am also relieved to find out there is no ghost pony

Look at them, stealing the horse.

Or not

Ep6:

Oh yeah, time zones are a thing

Rosie is not a subtle eavesdropper

Ah, a horse show. Why didn't I expect that

£15,000. Enough to, say, help this stable that is running low on money which we have been repeatedly told from the first episode? Let me guess, another, rival stable always wins and there's no way they could never pull it off?

Holloway Riding School. Called it

Can Becky just give away food?

"Keeping you entertained is easy" is it though????

Mate listen to his teachings.

You need your foundations in place before you can get any good?

"Let me go over the jump" "no" *does it* "wow well done"

Ugh she's gonna ride raven

Bet it doesn't go well

That's very Rube Goldberg not gonna lie

One little ride around the paddock will hurt

There's a race? The quads are gonna win

Bob was not made for speed.

And there goes Raven

Because obviously.

Pin looks worried because he has a crush on Zoe. Obviously

And yet Marcus is gonna get all the glory

That cringey ADR

Marcus has a point though, the basics are important

We're unlocking Maggie's backstory

She can't still be upset about a horse that died over 15 years ago?

I ship Becky and Jade not gonna lie

Ugh team lists. I'm calling it Zoe will have made it on despite not even trying out

Yup.

Wait she's reserve on Raven? Why? That's not a good move?

Ep 7:

Mia is such a bitch

Ok Raven doesn't like water, and I confidently predict this is an important plot point

Ooooh Mia just got rejected

So now the Ghost Pony is Emerald

Zoe you are so naive Marcus is asking you to the dance

Becky I love you and the mystery tortilla

Mia hasn't made the cover, I can predict.

I do feel a bit bad for Mia with her not very good father who isn't really there for her

That colour of green is a really nice colour of green. It brings out Pin's eyes. Ew, stop, why am I like this

Pin stop

Is zoe about to be murdered?

I thought the ghost pony was called Pebbles?

Why has Ted suddenly warmed up to Zoe?

Unlocking Raven's backstory

Pins name is actually Peter. Huh

It's nice that the moor pony is getting better enough to eat an apple

She's not on the cover

Pin likes Zoe and I ship it

Tedward

She's on her way to Steel (lol) his heart

Perfect - let the horse who is scared of water jump the water jump what could go wrong. Throw in an inexperienced rider into the mix and it's a perfect combination.

Wait this is actually kinda sweet

A funeral for Emerald is lovely

But the name Edward begins with an E so maybe E wasn't just Emerald

You could fall. IN LOVE. WITH PIN. OH MY GOD PLS

Wait what

Why has the photographer never heard of brightfields

Mia is so stuck up but I quite like her

I definitely did not need to take a 20 minute break just trying to find out how old Freddy Carter was, jesus.

Throwing stones at the windows, teenage stereotypes

They're cute

Ah, he couldn't say Peter, hence the Pin

Oh my god heartbreaking

Now they're going to the dance. Nice one

Oh god is Mia gonna do something to sabotage Zoe and Pin?

Holy shit is Ghost Pony real?

Ep8:

I actually quite like that yellow dress, not gonna lie

I love Becky and so does Jade

It's totally a date don't lie to yourself Zoe

Mia can get tae

Pin don't listen to her

She wouldn't tell you if it wasn't true though would she, Pin you imbecile

Rosie stop sabotaging, your mother is allowed to have friends

Oh shit they were a couple

Wait

What if it turns out Pin and Zoe are siblings

Wait no I'm thinking too much into this

Pin calm it

Marcus be happy

Pin... just.........

bob wyd

They're married.

"I already did" I mean....,

How are they upset by that?

Literally just talk to each other? This would make everything so much easier?

And Raven is still scared of water. Don't blame him, honestly

Ben and Rosie are evil geniuses

Becky is adorable and thinks safety goggles would help prevent death

She also thinks carrots glow in the dark

Wait how does Maggie know about the whole boys thing

Offscreen I guess

I mean I wouldn't wear that dress, but I guess it's okay?

Rosie fixing lights is not going to end well

Yup.

Where did ted come from? How did he get there so fast?

I mean Zoe actually pulls off that dress

Has Becky been murdered?

Oh yeah, Becky has a blog

I don't necessarily understand how or why a ghost pony is scary

Oh wait it's a person

Is it the horse thieves

It is the horse thieves

Why did they wait until dark? That would have been a long time to wait to capture the horse thief

Derek is a brilliant character

Who is very obviously in love with Sam

That barn actually looks pretty good

Pin went with Mia? That's surprising

Ted and Maggie are cute

Ben and Rosie are also cute

Derek and Sam are also a little bit cute

Piiiin don't be a diiiick

Those shoes don't really go with that outfit tho...

Rosie is in the spotlight though and I'm sure she's loving it

Mia go and just stop

Ooh thunder

Marcus is following Zoe who is following Pin who is going home

Oh wait Pin and Zoe are arguing in the rain. I may not be familiar with tropes but I'm pretty sure that they're about to kiss

And they're cute and I ship them

Marcus is just casually watching around the corner. Like a stalker

Was not expecting that?

Of course this is when the horse thieves take Raven

Ok but shouting after him is hardly gonna do anything?

Ep9:

I mean... it wasn't even her horse

That's so Raven

Wait they have security camera surely the thief will be ca- oh there was a power cut

But there was a back up generator?

Wait but Zoe is supposed to ride on Raven in the show? Assuming she has to

Rosie is so extra

Oh my god just like... idk kiss

That highlight tho

"That's what I love about you" pin, do continue

Pin you genius

So now they're off to look for this horse

Why didn't they just have this chat at the stables before they left and saved time?

"If the storm comes in again turn back" so the storm is gonna come in again and one or more of them aren't gonna turn back. Ok

"I am scared of the tooth fairy! What does she need all those teeth for? What's her plan?" Same Becky

Ben and Rosie have a handshake, this is cute

What is her plan

Becky is me with every single person I have a crush on

This is a significant character development for Mia

Ok so the only group not turning back is mia, susie, and Zoe

This is not going to end well

Mia.... Zoe can't control the weather?

That recording is in no way convincing

Wait how big is this island???

Either Mia or Zoe is going to get hurt

Ghost pony?

I mean this is just a bad horror movie now

Oh shit, firefly?

And Mia got hurt. Okay.

Wait so if Mia's hurt, she can't do the show?

Wait so the dad just turned up?

I like that there has been a character development now we sorta understand Mia's actions

So Mia can't ride

Wait what

Who is this and why is she here

Why is that so ominous

Ep10:

Rosie is so done with England

Sam is being pretty chill

Oh never mind

Marcus also has a crush

Still a Pin supporter tho

Rosie is brilliant

I would wear every single outfit pin has worn this season, not gonna lie

Becky is not helpful

And a raven horseshoe? Really?

Wait... nah never mind

Wow the mystery lady from the jaguar was just suuuuper rude to pin

I'm with Ted - it's totally what he thinks

Oh shit wait is Sam a horse thief?

Oh she is! Okay

That was a twist

I did not see that one coming

Don't just ignore Pin?

So now she just tells her that Raven is still on the island? Okay

Yaaas Pin! Go with her!

What signal? You can't just say wait for my signal and then not say what the signal is?

Wait but Zoe is getting the stolen horse and can't ride

Wait pin what are you doing

Oh the horseshoe

Wait if Mia could have ridden anyway, why put Zoe on?

I get the whole sprained ankle thing but she's just doing it?

Oh look, clever parallels between Mia doing the show and Zoe escaping

But what happened to Pin

And Rosie, where is Rosie

Oh look, water

Any bets Raven overcomes his fear and makes it across

Well look at that!

Also there's pin, he looks so proud

Dereeeeeek how do you feel

Oh no, pin don't feel bad. It's only Marcus... well actually..

"Derek" "its officer wrigley" savaaaaage

Wait.... his last name is wrigley?!

Is this their secret hip hop routine?! Oh my god this is brilliant!

I'm calling it - they've won

Yeah

Everyone has just left Mia lmao

Pin didn't even ride why is he there?

SUSIE HAD A BOYFRIEND ALL ALONG

IM SHOOK

if there was a scout at the riding school, they wouldn't send a letter if they didn't let him in?

Of course he got in that just makes sense?

Why would they send him a letter telling him he didn't get in if he was scouted?? It makes no sense????

And they kissed. Wow. There was like, no build up for that, Zoe and Pin, however....

Wait so Zoe is still not interested?

And now she's going to Pin?

Throwback to the singing teapot

It Pin

Oh that was actually pretty funny? I guess? Nice one Pin

Wait what's happening

Haha Lavinia

Ah, back to old Raven/Midnight Blue i guess

What do you want her to do Pin, I don't???

Ok so this is not a satisfying ending

Pin... are you literally stealing a horse right now?

Okay this is a lovely scene and all but how realistic is this

"I won't let you" you can't stop her???

Wait what

Okay so she can stay in England or go to America

She's gonna stay

They'll get renewed for a season two and she'll stay

And fall in love with pin

Because reasons

Should I stay or should I go now

Of course Mia is gonna buy the stables.

To summarise: That wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be - I actually quite enjoyed it.

#free rein #liveblog #i guess #I watched over four hours of this show in one sitting #I just thought I would post this here as like #a note to self? idk #long post

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omgxiaoch · 8 years ago

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Timeless Fate | GangAu!

Ship: Jooheon x [y/n]

Genre: action(?), angst(??),fluff (idk about this tho sorry)

Word Count: 4,553

a/n: hey guys! i apologize for any misspelled words or wrong grammar but i do hope that you guys enjoy reading this! it might be kinda meh so… yeah.. sorry about that. anyways, credits to the owner for this gif!

masterlist

part 1

The sound of a back slamming on the concrete wall echoed throughout the whole warehouse. It was a cold night and the only thing that filled the air was the sickeningly dry, sweet metallic scent of blood pooled all over the concrete floor, where the bodies of those men, who lost their lives just a minute ago, were sprawled in.

The man in his early 20s grabbed the collar of the man being slammed into the wall and coldly spat, “Do you know who you’ve just messed with?” Fear glowed in the man’s eyes as he shook his head with his hands clasping the hands of who was hovering on top of him.

“Oh, do you want me to show you who you’re messing with now? Hyungwon-sshi can you please bring me sasha?”

Hyungwon didn’t think twice but to do what he’s asked to do. “Here you go, Lee.” With the combat knife on his palms, Hyungwon immediately handed the knife to Lee (lol idk anymore), Jooheon’s brother. Swiftly grabbing the combat knife with his free hand, he skillfully twirls it with his fingers before placing the cold surface onto the man’s neck.

“Have you ever heard of the warnings…. never ever lay a hand on L?” Lee smirked smugly at the man as he squirmed under his touch. The man’s eyes widened in fear, he finally knew who he was and whom he had messed with. Before he could even speak up and ask for forgiveness, Lee has already slit through his neck, blood spurting from the neck. The red substance gushed down his chest like a waterfall and all he can ever do was to tighten his grip on Lee’s hand to support his weakening body.

“Hope you’ll have a wonderful rest.” Prying the man’s hands off of his wrist, the body went limp on the floor and the rest of the boys immediately handed Lee some cloth to wipe off the blood smothered in his hands.

“Now that my job is done, give my regards to Jooheon. I hope that girl will be alright. Anyhow, I must take my leave.” With just that, Lee has already left the boys with his men trailing behind him. Lee and Jooheon always had their backs, no matter what the situation is. Wonho heaved out a sigh and glanced over the bodies sprawled all over the warehouse.

“This has gotten pretty nasty, don’t you think?” He casually asked and motioned the other men to take care of the bodies. Everyone nodded in unison. Changkyun looked over to the boys and muttered, “I didn’t think that we’d get to see Lee again, tho.”

“Yeah, he’s been busy lately with all the offers that he’s getting from those corporates,” Minhyuk added as he carefully removed the gloves off of his hands, throwing it on the side in the process. “Now that everything’s done, let’s head back to the hospital.” Everyone turned to look at Shownu and nodded their heads without muttering any complain.

“I wonder if [y/n]’s alright..” Kihyun muttered under his breath as they all got in the van. “Let’s just hope for the best.” Wonho replied, making Kihyun look at him in surprise as he didn’t think that anyone could hear what he just said.

“But man, did she just surprise us with her skills?” Changkyun beamed in awe as he threw his arms up in the open space, making everyone look at him with a smile.

“Well, I think we now know why Jooheon’s fallen head over heels over her.”

Staring at his listless hands wrapped around yours, he couldn’t help but let out another sigh. It has been one and a half hours since you were brought to your room. Your body was wrapped in bandages and it was already dependent on the machines attached to you.

The sound of your breath was the only thing keeping Jooheon sane. His mind was blinded with fear. Nobody knew what would possibly happen to you. Were you going to live or die?

In the midst of just staring at you with worry, the thought of your guardians come to his mind. It has been an hour and a half and nobody came. Looking around the room, he noticed your bag lying down on the cold floor with your stuff spilling out from it. Slowly letting go of your hand, Jooheon stood up and waltz towards the bag.

Looking through your things, he noticed finally caught a glimpse of your phone and your velvet covered journal. The night was young and Jooheon had all the time to investigate what’s in that journal of yours. With your phone on his left hand and journal on his right hand, he walked back to the chair beside your bed.

Jooheon didn’t think twice and placed the velvet covered journal on the nightstand and decided to unlock your phone, only to light up a picture of a seven-year-old you and your parents. A sudden change of his feelings scared him. Were his thoughts right or wrong? Do you not have your parents around you anymore?

He couldn’t bear the thought anymore and shook it off. Jooheon’s fingers skillfully found the contacts, only to see that you only have one contact in your favorites. It was your Uncle. Jooheon could feel his heartbeat race as he pressed the call button, and held it up to his ears.

It only took two rings for your uncle to answer. With a shaky voice, Jooheon spoke up. “Hello, is this the guardian of [y/n]?”

(Yes, how may I help you?)

“Ah… about that, Sir… [y/n]’s was brought here in the hospital.. and she’s in a critical condition.” Jooheon tried his best not to stammer. There was a long pause on the other side of the line. The gush of emotions almost choked Jooheon up. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to explain this to your uncle.

Finally, after a couple of minutes, your uncle finally spoke up.

(Can you tell me the address of the hospital?)

His voice was dejected. It was obvious that he was in the state of shock. Jooheon sympathized your uncle since he knew how it felt to be told that someone you loved dearly had only fifty chance of surviving.

Without thinking twice, Jooheon gave out the address to your uncle and told him that he’d tell him everything that had happened. Turning the phone off, he glanced towards your direction and couldn’t help but feel bad about being such a bully towards you.

A soft thud echoed throughout the walls your room. Jooheon had placed your phone down on the nightstand. His attention was now placed on your velvet covered journal. The cream pages were worn off from constant opening and flipping.

Taking it into his hands, Jooheon studied the engraved initials on the cover. It was the initial of your first name and last name, and below it had your parent’s initials. On the bottom, it had your parent’s message of encouragement. Unbinding the lock, Jooheon opens the journal and sees the exact same picture that was on your phone.

You had a big, happy smile plastered on your face. Your parents lovingly held you as everyone posed right in front of the camera. Taking it in his hands, he looked at the back and saw a long message from your mother and father. It was their last will, from what Jooheon understood.

Tears were welling up in the corner of his eyes. He couldn’t believe that you had to go through such obstacles in life. Silence filled the room, and this was already suffocation Jooheon. Out of respect for your privacy, Jooheon immediately placed the journal away and returned his attention to your unconscious state.

“C’mon, [y/n], don’t give up on us now… please.”

The boys took their time as they couldn’t bring themselves to face what happened once again. The stars and moon shone so brightly that it was such a bliss to enjoy the view where there was no problems lingering around the corner, minds filled with thoughts that only one can ever hear, and hearts beating as one.

Coming to a stop, the boys looked out at the window and saw that they’ve finally arrived at the hospital. “We’re here.” Shownu announced and went out, only to be followed by the rest.

“I wonder how Jooheon is doing right now..” Minhyuk muttered as they all went in to the hospital lobby. There was barely any patients or visitors around. “God, now I remember why I hated coming to the hospital.” Hyungwon said as his eyes roamed around the empty space.

“Hm? Why?” Wonho asked with curiosity. Never have the boys talked about really personal matters but due to unexpected happenings, they were able to speak up about themselves and the bottled up feelings.

“It just makes me remember the things that have happened in the past.” Hyungwon’s response may be short but it had an impact to everyone. All of them knew how it felt since they’ve experienced the same tragic ending.

“Liven up, guys. Why do we always have this gloomy atmosphere when we talk about this?” Changkyun tried to ease up the tension but it didn’t help. The boys only flashed him a faint smile but behind those smile had painful stories.

The boys continued to walk towards your room. Neither anyone of them bothered talking. The only sound that can be heard was the clicking of the bottom of the shoes on a marble floor echoed throughout the hallway.

Shownu came to a halt when he heard voices inside the room. It was a voice of some man in his late forties and Jooheon’s voice. Wrapping his fingers on the knob, Shownu slides it open and peeks, only to meet the gaze of Jooheon.

“Oh, you’re here.” Jooheon’s voice was soft, and a smile was plastered on his face. Taken aback by the younger lad’s gestures, Shownu composed himself and entered the room with the boys trailing behind him.

“I want you guys to meet [y/n]’s uncle, Mr. [y/u/n]. He’s gonna be here with us until we get the results.” One by one, they shook your uncle’s hands and took a seat on the corner with their shoulders squared.

“Jooheon-ah, I’ll just go and talk to [y/n]’s doctor, okay?” Your uncle excused himself, to which Jooheon nodded with a smile. Once your uncle left, Jooheon looked at the boys and asked, “How was it?”

“It’s already been taken care of, and Lee sends his regards to you.” Kihyun reported. Jooheon nodded and absent-minded stared into thin air. The words of your uncle replayed in his mind, leaving a deep impression on him.

‘[y/n] has been such a wonderful daughter to me. Even though I’m not her biological father, she had always treated me as her second father. [y/n] was still young when she lost her parents from a plane crash.’ Mr. [y/u/n]’s voice trailed off as he sadly looked at you. Jooheon nodded as he continued to listen to his story.

‘At such young age, I had her learn Kyokushin Karate and Krav Maga in order to protect herself from the world. She has always been that kid who’d defend those who are in need but never uses her skills for revenge.’ That was the reason why you fought with such skill, never had he expected you to learn something difficult at a very young age.

‘Don’t worry, Mr. [y/u/n]… My friends took care of the ones who did this to [y/n]–’ Before Jooheon could finish his sentence, your uncle shook his head and smiled, ‘There’s no need to seek revenge on those who’ve done bad to my daughter. What’s happened has already happened. We just have to accept it in order to live a peaceful life.’

Jooheon snaps away from his own train of thoughts and glances towards his friends before heaving out a sigh. He surely realized that he doesn’t deserve to meet a girl like you. You were just too precious. Too pure to have a guy, who’s life was already stained with blood, in your life.

“I don’t know anymore, guys.” He blabbered while scoffing at himself, pitying at how he felt weak all of a sudden. It was a rare sight to see Jooheon like that but the boys were kind of glad to be able to relate and get to know Jooheon more, rather than just dealing with the facade he always has to put up.

Shownu didn’t think twice as he walked towards Jooheon and pulled a chair beside him, placing an arm around the younger lad’s shoulder. “What made you say that?”

“I just… I couldn’t help but think twice about how I run my life, hyung.” Shownu’s couldn’t bear to see his younger brother like this. Giving him a big pat on the back, Shownu pulls Jooheon’s into a hug. “Why?” The two of them stayed in that position for awhile, neither one of them felt the urge to pull away.

“Mr. [y/u/n] said something to me awhile ago that really woke me up. He told me that… there was no need to seek revenge to those have done us wrong and just accept what happened in our lives in order to live a peaceful life…”

Jooheon stares blankly at the wall while speaking. Shownu just nods his head before pulling away, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Then, what do you want to do with your life now?”

What does he want to do with his life now? What does his heart want? Jooheon listlessly stares at Shownu. His eyebrows furrowed as he pondered upon that question but it only made him more confused that he lets out a sigh before giving the older lad in front of him a smile.

“I… I think I need to think about it in the meantime. But, thanks hyung.” Shownu just lets out a fatherly smile before ruffling Jooheon’s hair. The moment was then disrupted when the doctors came in and made everyone leave the room and wait as they had to check up on your condition.

Everyone was now back to the same waiting area. Their hearts were beating, nervousness kicking when they saw the nurses bringing you to the operating room. It was already past twelve and sleep was not their priority right now. It was your life that was their priority.

Some the boys excused themselves and went to the cafeteria to grab some late midnight meal, leaving only Jooheon, Kihyun and Shownu back at the waiting area. Neither of them spoke up and they continued to wait.

After an hour, the doctors finally came out and flashed the boys a smile. “She’ll be up maybe a couple of minutes or hours. Good thing her uncle came in and made us check on her before it was too late.”

“S-so, she’s fine now?” Jooheon couldn’t help but stammer as he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Yes, Ms. [y/n] is going to fine now but she’ll still be staying at the hospital for the three weeks. Now, I think you boys should go and go to her room since her uncle left you, in-charge for now.”

Without wasting any second, the boys nodded their heads and thanked the doctor for his hard work before rushing to your room with a lighter heart this time.

Sliding the door open, the boys quietly went inside the room and found you peacefully breathing with the machines still attached to you. In the midst of going back to their seats, Kihyun was able to spot the letter placed right beside your bed. “O-oh, Mr. [y/u/n] left us a letter.”

Kihyun’s round eyes met everyone’s curious gazes. “Should I read it for everyone to hear?” He queries and received a nod right away. “Alright…” Kihyun clears his throat and reads the letter out loud.

‘Dear boys,

First of all, I want to thank each and everyone of you for bringing my daughter right away to the hospital. If it weren’t for you guys she wouldn’t be here with us. Even though she got into that critical state from saving you guys, I’m glad that she was able to find such wonderful friends who’d be by her side until the end.

May God bless each and everyone of you. And I hope that you all have a wonderful life and may you guys continue to have a beautiful friendship with [y/n]. I welcome you all to our family. Once again, I want to thank each and one of you with all my heart.

And don’t worry, I’ll take care of your excuse letters for tomorrow! You guys can rest all day long since you guys have done a lot. Rest well and take care!

Sincerely Yours,

Mr. [y/u/n].

“Sincerely yours, Mr. [y/u/n]..” Kihyun’s voice trailed off before he lets out a chuckle. “This is the first time that we’re welcome to someone’s family despite our background..” Changkyun said, a sincere smile plastered on his face.

“I feel weird all of a sudden… Oh glob, is this normal?” Wonho almost choked up on his saliva as he wiped away the tears in the corner of his eyes. The boys continued blabbering how they felt, not noticing the smile on Jooheon’s face.

“Aigoo, aigoo. You guys are really noisy.” Jooheon rants with such look that made everyone burst out laughing. “Why don’t you guys rest up while I take care of [y/n]?” The boys started to groan and give Jooheon a look before marking their territory on the couch. All of their eyelids were growing heavier and heavier by the minute until they’ve finally drifted to dreamland.

Jooheon, on the other hand, sat beside your bed while holding your hand with his left hand and with the letter on his right hand. He couldn’t help but break into a smile as he stares at you. Jooheon was happy that you are alright and that he was gonna see that sassy look that you’d always give him, the glare that you’d give him when he teases you and that smile that you give him when he does something unexpectedly nice.

Time passed before Jooheon noticed it. It was already three in the morning when he felt your hand twitch. The rush of adrenaline in his veins made him look at you with wide eyes. He was no longer sleepy as he was growing anxious about what’s going to unveil right before him.

You were no longer unconscious. Your eyes fluttered open, only to hiss at the brightness of the lamp beside you. Everything around you was unfamiliar. Where were you? What happened to you after getting hit on the head? The anesthesia was already fading away, making all the pain attack you at once.

Wincing at you aching parts, you look around and only to be surprised to see Jooheon tearing up. His tears were falling down his cheeks, making you reach up to wipe those tears away. “You’re alive..” he cried out as he leaned to your touch.

You didn’t know why you were happy to see him but you could feel your heart at ease at some point. Somehow seeing the bandages on his limbs and on his face kinda pinched your heart.

“Hey, why are you crying?” You asked with a chuckle. Jooheon’s eyes were already bloodshot red and his lips were now swollen from crying. You couldn’t help but think how cute Jooheon was, making you giggle as you continued to wipe away the tears.

“I’m… j-just glad that you’re alive.” He sniffed and sniffed, trying to himself down. “Aww, don’t cry.” Your voice was a little bit raspy but Jooheon didn’t care. As much as he wanted to pull you into a tight hug, he controlled himself and just tighten his grip around your hand.

You transferred your gaze towards the sleeping MX, making you burst into a smile. “You guys stayed until I could even wake up?” Jooheon nodded as he just continued to stare at you. You were touched by their gesture and because of that, the way you looked at them changed.

They still had the goodness in them despite all the strong and intimidating front. You could feel your heart skip a beat when Jooheon called out your name, making you look at him. “Mmm?”

“Thanks for not giving up on us.” You were taken aback by his sudden outburst, a gush of pink tinted on your pale cheeks. You just nodded and smiled him, making him blush. “Uh.. Let me fix your bed so that you can sit right up.” He muttered and clicked on a button, reclining your bed. You muttered thanks and received a nod from Jooheon before he takes a seat.

The two of you just stayed silent for awhile until Jooheon decided to break the silence. “Your uncle came, by the way.” Just hearing your uncle’s name made your breath hitch. You knew what your uncle was capable of sharing and the thought of Jooheon knowing about your life was something that you didn’t want to happen.

“What… did he say?” You warily asked and slowly loosen your grip around his hand, making him notice the sudden change. “He told me how much he’s thankful to have a daughter like you despite you going through a lot of challenges in life.”

Jooheon didn’t break into details and just gave you a faint smile. He may look like he was telling the truth but you knew that one day your story would be told anyways. You glanced at him and remembered that you owe him an explanation of the skills that you’ve shown.

“About what happened…” you paused and looked if he was listening. “Nobody knows that I know how to fight… and you guys are the first ones to see me get into action.” You continued and just stared at the ceiling as you speak.

“I’ve been learning Kyokushin Karate and Krav Maga since I was still a little kid and I don’t regret learning it though. I knew that I needed to learn it especially that I can’t always have my uncle around to protect me and….”

Telling Jooheon about your past kind of lifted off a heavy feeling that has been weighing you down for the past years. Before you knew it, you were already telling him about your deceased parents. “I lost my parents at the age of seven or six from a plane crash. Of course, I was too innocent to understand how the real world worked but my uncle didn’t spare me any sugar-coated details and told me that I won’t be able to see them anymore.”

Jooheon stayed quiet and just listened to you. He felt happy that you were opening up to him but sad to hear the story directly from you. “And that when I realized my world was already falling apart but I didn’t really get that to me because I had to stay strong in order to make them happy despite not being here with me.”

“My uncle decided to adopt me and treat me like her daughter and I’m thankful that he accepted me… since there was no one else who’d welcome me into their family.” There was a pang in his chest when he saw your tears falling down your cheeks.

You finally broke down. You couldn’t help but feel the uncanny feeling that you’ve felt 12 years ago. Biting on your quivering lips, you brought your free hand up to your face and wiped your tears away.

Jooheon was stunned to see what was happening. Should he pull you into a tight hug or something? Without thinking twice, Jooheon stood up and pulled you carefully into a hug, only to make you cry harder. “It hurts….”

“It’s alright, just let it all out [y/n]. I’m here… we’re here for you.” Jooheon whispered as he continued to caress your back. The two of you stayed in that position until you’ve finally calmed down. Jooheon pulled away and cupped your cheeks.

Wiping your tear-stained cheeks with his handkerchief, he looked directly at your eyes before planting a kiss on your forehead. “You’re not alone now, [y/n]. You have us. You have your uncle. We’re going to be here for you until the end.”

You suddenly noticed the sudden change of emotions in his eyes. It was moist and shiny, his pupils were dilated and his gaze was prolonged. He never left his gaze off of you. You suddenly felt your stomach do back flips as your heart raced.

“You have me, [y/n].” Jooheon blurted out and before he knew it, he was telling you the words that his heart has been saying for such a long time now. “You have me because… I love you… I have loved you ever since I laid my eyes on you. You have always been the apple of my eye.”

“When you got hurt because of us, I couldn’t help but blame myself over and over especially when I saw how listless you were already.” Jooheon glanced down and continued, “I never realized that my feelings for you have grown until I suddenly felt scared of losing you.”

Jooheon suddenly felt silent for awhile before he glanced up and continued, “I love you, [y/n].. and I don’t care if you’ll reject me or what but I’m glad that I’m able to tell you how I feel. I don’t regret confessing but I just want to let you know that you have people who are willing to welcome you in their lives… just like how your uncle welcomed me and the boys with his arms wide open.”

“Jooheon…” your voice trailed off and could feel your chest tighten. You didn’t realize that you have been denying your feelings all along. Jooheon has always been the first person who came into your mind when you wake up and when you go to bed. You didn’t really care about him being the leader of MX as you’ve slowly grown to just accept it after being seatmates

Chuckling at how you just realized it now, you flashed him a toothy grin before grabbing him by the hands. “Thank you… and no, I won’t reject you because I love you too actually… It’s kinda stupid for me to just realize it now but yeah, I love you too.”

The sight of Jooheon’s eyes widen in surprise was the cutest thing that you’ve ever since. “Are.. are you serious?” You nodded your head in response and noticed the smile creeping on his face.

“Oh, God… Uh.. omo…” Jooheon was speechless. He was happy. Too happy to even think of something to say. “Well, aren’t you going to ask me if I want to be your girlfriend?”

“O-oh right! [y/n]…. will you do the honors of being my girlfriend?” Jooheon shyly asked. “Yes.” Before you knew it, Jooheon wrapped his arms around you. “I love you, [y/n].” He cooed as he pulled away.

“I love you too, Jooheon.” Jooheon didn’t think twice and placed a quick kiss on your lips. The two of you lovingly stared at each other, only to be disturbed by the ringing voice of Minhyuk.

“Omo, guys! [y/n]’s awake!!”

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fertile-delirium-blog · 7 years ago

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You know, everything I ever worked towards, care about, love or have been lucky to come across or been given an opportunity to, I’ve always gotten to a point where I fuck everything up realise where I went wrong or what I keep getting told I do or am and honestly everyone I ever believed enough to let in and be a bit of the real me or all of the real me, since I was little, I been trying to run from this sadness that I later found out is developed or called depression that I realise, I’ve never understood it, I never thought id have mental illness and I ran, I denied for so long.. people telling me I need help, I had a system that worked, a system that never allowed me to be verbally honest with anyone enough to actually get to know me , without the fear and what ifs that I now know is anxiety, funny I never really, really knew what it was but turns out the two together destroy my life, ever since high school, ive wanted to continually improve myself no matter what anyone said and the same time I maintained an image where I made myself make everyone view me the opposite of what I felt I was, when im angry, im actually upset, I made myself seem like I was okay enough n making it on my own so people wouldn’t view me as weak or a being who needed sympathy or attention or some street kid goimg nowhere when really, for too long all I wanted was to find where I belong n do what in my heart I felt n feel like will come back, be music that expresses things I can’t say or feels weird coming out of this mouth that isnt mine, dont feel right. Communication.. something ive never had real, experience with.. was mainly mute other than my outward image for my protection and other peoples shit for so many years before I met her, she made me want to talk, opened up n be the me I feel I am on the inside, but, how easy did I really think it was gonna be? …a lot easier than it was/is.. I’ve always been a lone wolf.. why did I think I could have a family life like that when… I convinced myself with this act I was over shit I wasn’t, that was my fuck up this is all before I fell in love and its funny… it’s a boy cries wolf story, she loved me.. I loved her but something in me didn’t let me properly love her the way I should’ve but if I knew then what I know, my god things would be different and this is what I was afraid of.. completely giving in to her that… I wouldn’t care about myself as much just wanted to make her n kids happy, that’s what made me happy that’s the reason for my being as the opportunity to do so after terrible things n times had us far away for a long time and realised that they the family I chose to have n m sorry I let you all down I’m sorry my bpd, bipolar depressive states is what im trying to focus on to gwt better, since I actually believed everyone but 18 years of unsaid, undealt with and put away in the black box f nothing, isn’t easy to unfold , realise grow, accept, change, love, heal myself and be what was wanted or needed to best of my ability, truth is with her, this focus on making my life a certain way disappeared, never thought it would happen.. i want to do n cater n help n just be n do or try to what it s she wanted if me, I tried I fucked up in the beginning, but still pay to this day.. sigh the balance of who I on the inside is out of whack n has changed.. I don’t think anyone ever did I thought I showed n expressed enough to understand, I guess, if im too sick to love I shouldn’t get on the way of where she wants to go n do, its a shame really, right girl wrong time, don’t care if we were meant to be or not the universe chose you that I loved that much I wanted to make a life, thins I did out of spite, jealousy, anger, major depressive states too much drugs or too long on drugs wasn’t really me, the me I thought you knew n loved was that you made me happy, only person to do that that’s not my siblings.. then there are your beautiful kids I’ve let down too many times.. idk what made me think I deserved you 3.. maybe the fact that I was hoping we all changed n we were happy, we were, that’s not fantasy, we had some great, great times ill never let go of wanted my career I chased for since I was a kid n ended up getting n wanted to have the normal family as well but I chose them in the end n always will but I gotta keep away for her, for them.. every time I get into this stupid certain major depressive state.. I do things to make it harder on myself but you know what the problem is.. the real me is hidden in a cube within and I can see everything.. and that’s not the real me. That’s something dark attached to me that wants to keep me hidden away.. so how do I defeat this other person I’m watching from the inside take over a beautiful physical being I don’t feel is mine and causing such pain for both her, I and my ex gf and her kids and tearing everything that’s mine (the inside) and hers(outside) causing such hate n was for each other n causes such distress for those who actually love me.. I would like you, any of you to hold my hand throughout me getting better.. but I also know I’ve had my times with help n no help n I run away.. I know how hard it is for anyone to love me.. or be there for me I want all to be happy n move on with their lives get And do things the deserve.. I don’t wanna hold anyone back jus because they care.. I’ve been alone since I was little.. may as well stay alone to the end.. cant bear to love.. there’s only her I will never have kids, it’ll always be them, don’t want to cause pain because I’m hard to love because I’m sad with myself n wanna make you happy same time.. god how did I get here.. I got nothing n no one.. at all n all I had before her was a dream I made into reality then set bar higher only to fall that fucking hard to be half the reason I hate myself and before that tried to be an accepted part of my family n moved on to my dream knowing my family will never know.. what ive felt, how low I sank at the age of 8, understand or acce ppl t me enough.. the most truth I can give them is that I want to die cos im not good enough for this world.. items are not feelings, being raped and beaten for 5 yrs of my childhood n being too scared to tell anyone due to death threats then once it comes into the open is apologetic and sad for then my mum gets angry at me cos she cant accept it sober,.. I do blame him.. but I also know that its my fault ive let him win and affect me as a person n how I grow for so long and being told o can do something bout it going to yoir mum n her telling me its no use they wont find anything too late to be then told 5 yrs later that, I can still do something about it.. and I havent.. all these little bits and pieces make sense from the moment of my mums impregnation to now that maybe, just maybe I was never supposed to have been born.. I don’t belong on this world, I was an unwanted mistake that had no friends got bullied, raped, beaten as a child to getting away from that man that is your brothers dad also and my brother ended up being my best friend mid teens to not even know what a friend is other than knowing not to let anyone know the bad I been through and alone.. always have been alone no one sees the me that stands behind this beautiful, sad but always fake smiling so i don’t seem so broken shell of mine.. no one can hear me but the people in my head and none of them want to let me out.. guess I don’t deserve anything else but being alone trying to fight people I can only hear.. if I used to see any of them..when I did see silhouetted bodies before I had too many drugs and certain.. things went away.. im sorry I blocked you out.. oh silhouetted bodies I miss you.. as scary as it would be sometimes.. you always helped me be strong enough for the next step, if it is you that torments me today.. why? And if it isn’t.. is it just mental illness?. Or is it so much more than that..

Was I killed or kill myself too early in past life I went straight through to this one??.. from the moment I was born I was not meant to exist.. im sorry to the people who love and care for me… none of you will see me again.. ill save you all the energy, the stress and the pain I’ve previously caused due to my own mind and my feelings but know if you could hear me.. not this voice of mine verbally.. but if you or i could translate it or if you could hear my inside voice I promise that all would be understandable.. no confusion, no bullshit, no actions I didnt make but she or they did.. they just want to break me.. all but one laugh at me, mock me, talk to me and then to her on the outside as a fucking game or to make us continually clash and that ruins me, my ex gf, and well because of all that I distanced from kids when asked.. and have gotten so far it breaks my god damn heart.. gonna be like my brother, like my sister.. cant be apart of their life, cant watch them grow but silently love all 3 of them silently from afar.. I don’t want anyone to love me and I don’t want to love anymore than I already do as long these people and depression n whatever else they say I got continues to win this fight.. hopefully at the moment.. they make m e want to die. For silence, no more memories, feelings and they make it known that this is not my body.. I a excluded from all beings.. even the one I reside in.. no support. Don’t want friends, don’t want family.. I just wish I could’ve gotten better for the ones I love and who love me.. im sorry .. I dont want a life anymore. I really realize .. I was not meant to.. I hope that everyone I love will hate me, already does,or will and can forget me.. I did have some real, real hapy good times with you mum, lola, jaiden, mia, rachele, LJh and TRh.. sorry Ive said and done some fucked up things and I hope if you do remember or think of me it wont always be bad because I had and was a genuine happy and fun girl at times. Especially with you guys. And im sorry if you guys dont know which ones are real and fake..im sorry .. I wanna get better but realising I was never meant to be here,n if I was it was to be alone n silent I was right tho.. im not here to have a life for me or make one for myself nd hurt people in process. I love in times of darkness and undenying voices… I dont need your care.. I dont want you to feel sorry I just hope when you think back on me maybe.. youll see the peaks of the inside me get let put due to the help from my outside n i ts something we don’t n wont talk bout..I wont make anyone put up with me just because they are or I am loved. Not anymore.. I love you all.. hope everyone gets what the want and deserve. And to the parents of whos kids I love as my own then just fucking distanced due to how I am not thinking boit if or how itd affect them.. im sorry fo all the wrong ive done by them but know how happy and grateful I am for you guys bringing them into this world.. we all know im shit at doing what im supposed to and moat times I was shit to them.. I dlnt k know if i t was noticeable but I did try.. but thank you for letting be apart of that and being “snips”.. and giving me a chance to love them and treat them like my own I wish I did better with all of you, their family, my family im sorry whatever this thing is im just sorry I ruined some good things and hurt people I love n who love me.. never again.

I love you all.. I feel like I didnt get to say it all.. but, o can’t keep crying.. I been typing for 2 hrs… I will be making another account and this will be my lalst post as mariah elrington. To the world and the people I love… im sorry. I hope ypu forgive me and see the good person I always tried to be I will love yo and appreciate you all forever.. im sorry that since I came to world I was doomed to be nothing but a problem but I swear.. I swear on everything… I always try to be better but fall harder.. doing this on my own and voices, my thoughts and the opinion of those who love me see the opposite to what im doing or how I am.. its really hard.. ive never done it this mentally tough before.. well on drugs trippin on non real stuff but this.. this is real life and for once, I dont have anyone to talk to even on a vague level.. not even a pen and paper.. this, this is all so o guess thank you tumblr idk how worst id be without you ..I love you all… this is the fkn truth.. I never meant for it any of it to be als bad as they are between my two families I love. I hope you can get it right, now without me, the problem, the burden,.the dralin and be happy I meam that from thr deep.side of my heart, I really hope I haven’t fucked it enough you wont recover.. but I may be a bit over my head.. they won’t care.. I mean they will for a short time,, but will be happy not long after no Im not saying im gonna kill myself, we all know I can’t. But none of you will see or hear from me again.. because I love you. And I love you alll im deeply sorry I couldn’t express or show it enough for that you guys to believe that a whole lot or know the extent of how much with how ive been but ti my blood family and made family… I love you all so much its because of you gus im doing this for you other wise ill never leave y'all alone cos I need y'all but can’t and won’t hurt anyone but myself anymore.. almost 3 hrs writing.. I still got more to say but gonna leave it there.. god damn it,I love you and I do hope my whole family have a good life n im sorry I ruined the parts of it that I did but be worry free I dont want anyone trying to reach out to me after this. Wil be ignored or unseen..

I love my families and im sorry I couldn’t get it right to be good enough well enough to not negatively affect you.

Have a great life, drink, party, love do the things you want and think o f me as okay if it helps just please,if you love me dont ever get worried.. dont ever assume anything just be be fucking happy, experience, travel, grow Chase dreams.. trust, they are possible no matter situation, lonliness or head space,long as you believe youre gonna.make i t real and do what you gptta to make it gappen, if some like me not even suppose to be alive can do it, you strong, smart beautiful family of mine I believe in you.. to all of you every age. and each everyone of you deserve it. The good fun or happy life with its obvious small obstacles that isn’t as stressful or hard t fix asits been as of late..

I am sorry. I love nd appreciate you all. And you will all always be in my mind And my hearts im sorry im too mental im sorry for all ive done.

I love you all.

Goodbye forever.. all 7 of you ill love always. Pls keep the good bout me in your hearts if you can’t forget. I miss you all like crazy wish I could see you all again to give a goodbye hug.. but a visioned one is gonna have to do. Know that’s the last thing youd recieve from me if that were the case.

Goodbye my precious family I loved dearly but took for granted and couldnt get better.. im sorry I put you all through so much. I really am I wish all of you could see how much love I got for each and everyone of you cos I know I didnt do that good of a job to make sure it was known but I hope it is not.. love you please be happy for me too, if its worth anything to any of you, cos idk how long it'll take to feel it again.

Goodbye fams.

-Mariah Elrington

#personal #this time for real

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blueskyandpudding · 8 years ago

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THE EZRA MILLER DISCOURSE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So recently there was a post from prince-ezra-miller said that an anon send them an ask to report her encounter with Ezra at one of his band’s show from last year. I want to make a post about what just happened and how everyone deal with it.

First of all, I hope you will read this, maybe you’ll be more thoughtfully, and making more justified judgement on this story.

This is the post that started it all:

So a fan went to Sons’ show, met Ezra, saw him wearing a native American garment incorrectly and decided to tell him that. But he got upset and told her (the fan’s sexuality is confirmed) that she knew nothing because she was Mexican, based on her appearance. The fan felt bad at how Ezra was acting. “He later gave a half assed apology then said he didn’t realize he did anything wrong but told the fan they didn’t need to be upset by his ignorant ass.”

Now onto my opinion.

When I first saw this post, I thought “wow, that’s heavy. How could he?” and then I read it again. But there is something odd about this:

- The fan sent an anon ask to them.

- This story is told by the fanblog, with their words, not the fan’s. They put their perspective of the story in this post, causing so many people to lean on this to accuse Ezra of being racist.

- Evidence? They didn’t even put on the anon ask.

- I know what you’re thinking. You think “How could you think that someone made that up? That’s a very terrible thing to say.” But I just don’t trust an anon ask that came out of nowhere and said Ezra is racist. Sorry. Anon is not a trustworthy source.

- Why wait for a whole year to bring this up?

Alright, next, they decided to bring up every single “tea” they could find at the time, harassed him, joked about him, planned to go to their show to confront them with the story. And they tweeted Sons on Twitter, you can go check for yourself.

This is the drawing of a so-called “fan” of Ezra flushing in the toilet. ಠ_ಠ They were angry, ok BUT SERIOUSLY?

And many more asks do the exact same thing. You guys are cyber-bullying him.

This joke is just problematic, and it’s not even funny.

And they accused Ezra of “appropriate culture” too. Not only Native American, but also Asian.

Here’s that post about the clothes he wore:

OHHH I think someone needs to chill out :) A good response to this ( from user drunkoncaffeineanddepression )

In case you’re wondering what’s so interesting about MET GALA 2015, let me show you:

///OMG I THINK HOLLYWOOD IS APPROPRIATING ASIAN CULTURE I’M SO PISSED///

Moving on.

Prince-Ezra-Miller received some anon asks of them receiving an email from Sons, and they posted the screen captures here:

http://prince-ezra-miller.tumblr.com/post/158135563322/i-began-to-call-him-out-after-he-began-talking

I won’t mention how I think about their response, that’s up to you. Right now I will show you what’s the real problem.

A friend sent me the link to a thread on Twitter, it’s in the reply section here: https://twitter.com/SonsOAIF/status/839241403544793088

A few tweets were deleted, but I already captured the conversation between these two people:

The link she attached:

http://iamtheshyone13.tumblr.com/post/158140758262/im-the-one-who-sent-an-email-to-sons-of-an

Oh and remember that the fan was upset because Ezra assumed she was Mexican while she was actually a Native American?

So basically, a white boy tell you you’re a Mexican (which you are) and you are so angry, how dare he assume your nationality according to your appearance???!!!!

This Lizz girl (whom I suspect is one of that Prince blog admins, she has the uncensored version of the email and the way she talks about it too, idk, that’s just me making assumptions) mistaken Cheyenne for the girl who went to their show and encountered the problem. In fact, Cheyenne is not the victim, she’s the one who sent an email to them, and maybe she’s this anon:

Now do you see how messed up this thing is??? An anonymous girl told a fanblog a story, and that fanblog told others their version of the story, and it keeps going. The story isn’t original anymore, which means Sons cannot respond to some gossip without proofs and details. You demand apology from them, but how can they do that when they don’t even remember the accident? And when you don’t give Sons and their band mates the same respect you want from them?

As consequences to this ridiculous story, some fans have already aggressively made terrible accusations towards Ezra:

The way they 100% trust this Prince fanblog is ¯\_ツ_/¯. Really. They link to that blog like some kind of “source”, like some kind of Ezra’s representative who knows him so well, live so closely to him.

Those are the things I find hard to understand about this drama.

When you see these kinds of story of your idol about such sensitive subjects appear on your dash, the first thing you do is to do some research, check your facts, and most important: STAY NEUTRAL. Don’t jump to conclusion right away and judge a person based on what internet gives you. He’s how you want him to be. I, personally, do not see him as a saint. He’s someone I feel connected with, he has problems, ideals, etc. He has flaws, but I won’t judge him because of those flaws, I’m not his relative, or his friends, or his family. I don’t know him in real life. So I clearly do not have the right to do that. But I see you guys harassing him, making people seeing him as a bad person, accusing him over some unreliable story and call it “justice.” Ezra and Sons don’t deserve to be treated this way. None of us does.

And the most important things is, I do feel bad for the fan who encountered the problem. But I wish she would stand up for herself, make a new blog or something and tell the story instead of sending anon ask to a blog. That way, the story would stay insistent. But she didn’t do that, and you people behave like such bullies. What a shame that you people even calling yourselves “fan.”

#ezra miller #sorry for calling a lot of people out but let's just consider the whole situation for a moment okay #dmhamlonvcl

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minniesugakookies · 8 years ago

Text

Betrayed [Part 5]; End

Genre: Angst / Suggested smut (idk if it’s really suggested smut) / Fluff

Word Count: 2,537

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

“Put some pants on please.”

Masterlist ♥︎

Request ☾

Part 1 ✧ Part 2 ✧ Part 3 ✧ Part 4

A/N: This is the end of the betrayed series! I really liked this series and I'm glad all the people who read it did too :)

His lips felt so soft against my own. We slowly started to move together in sync, everyone else was blocked out. It was just us together. I felt like I was floating and nothing else mattered. One side of my brain was telling me to shove him away and bleach my lips so I never had to taste his lips again. The other half was letting me, almost like I would die if I don’t do this.

I was the first to pull away, instantly feeling a cold and loneliness feeling as I did. Jaebum just started back at me with a sort of lust in his eyes. His hands were now strongly held around my waist and my arms were around his neck, playing with the little hairs.

“J-Jaebum?” I softly whispered moving my hands from behind his neck to down his arms. He simply just looked at me and stared into my eyes. “Jaebum.” I poked his side playfully then lightly pulling away from his protective grasp. He still didn’t answer but his eyes still had the dark look to them. Then all of a sudden he just winked then did his signature smirk. I blushed while he just continued to torture stare at me.

“Jaebum you need to go on stage!”

One of the girls yelled towards us. I quickly tired to remove his hands that were still around my waist but he kept them there, not moving an inch. “Jaebum let go.” He just chuckled while kissing my forehead. He let go and made his way past the girl who was standing there. Her eyes were now wide open and staring at him as he walked by then stared at me. I just looked down and scratched my head hoping she would just leave. Everyone else was either too busy rushing around or talking to other people to care about what me and Jaebum were doing.

“What was that?”

I looked up and saw the same girl that had seen Jaebum and I’s little scene. I laughed nervously while avoiding eye contact with her. “What that? Oh that was- We used to be really good friends in high school.” I mentally hit myself but she just nodded her head slowly, probably not believing my answer. “Oh.” With that she slowly walked back to where she was standing before.

I was sitting on my couch just watching a movie when I got a text message. I groaned thinking it was from Dowoon again telling me he was sorry for the 500th time. But to my surprise it wasn’t, it was an unknown number.

Unknown: Meet me in the dance practice room at 11 ;)

I tilted my head while also furrowing my eyebrows at the strange message. I looked at the time and it read 10:30 pm. I decided against ignoring it wanting to know who this mysterious person is, and why they needed to send a winking face.

You: Who is this? How did you get my number?

Couple of minutes later they answered.

Unknown: It’s Jaebum and I got it from the manager.

I rolled my eyes at his response. Of course it would be Jaebum sending me a message to meet him in the dance room late at night then sending a winking face.

You: Why would I?

It’s not like we were a thing or anything. We kissed once, the other time I wasn’t ready for. He had bullied me in high school, lied about loving me then 5 years later came running back to apologize to me. This time I wasn’t going to fall for his handsome face and flawless body��

Jaebum: Because I need to practice something and I need your help. and I really want to feel your lips again….

I felt my face go hot at his last comment.

You: That was unneeded but I’m still not coming. Ask Jackson or something

Jaebum: But Jackson isn’t you

I threw my head back in frustration. Why is it so hard to say no to this man? Why does he have to be so perfect. I felt torn between just giving in and letting him potentially hurt me again or completely ignore him and somehow try and get over him. I want to scream and yell but then I also wanted to cuddle and treat him like he was the only thing that keeps me living.

You: Fine, I’ll come but only for a little bit

Jaebum: Why, don’t you trust me? ;)

You: No, I don’t

I got there around 11:20 and he was already there. His shirt was a little sweaty and music was playing loudly while he moved around quickly in the pace of the beat of the song. I didn’t want to stop him from dancing so I just silently watched him from my spot by the door. His movements were absolutely breathtaking. The way his feet moved perfectly in time with the beat and his facial expressions as he looked into the mirror from time to time.

He was doing some of his break dance moves when he suddenly fell onto the ground and just laid there for a little bit. I started to think that he was hurt and about to go help him when he suddenly got up to turn off the music. Once he turned around he had made eye contact with me then smiled.

“Did you see that?”

He pointed towards where he fell. I held in a laugh while nodding, making my way towards to where he’s standing. “So what did you need help with?”

He just looked at me and licked his red lips. I examined his face, my eyes lingering on his lips a little bit longer than I should be looking at his lips. “You like looking at me don’t you?” I asked raising my eyebrow cockily. “I just can’t get enough of your beautiful, amazing, perfect face.” Putting my hands on his chest I attempted to push him away but he held my hands there.

This is exactly what I didn’t want.

“Jaebum let go. Tell me what did you need help with.”

I tried to sound stern and controlling but guessing from how he was smiling, it didn’t work. I pulled me closer, if that were even possible, so I was flush against his sweaty body.

His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath against my lips. He moved down, his mouth was now connected to my neck giving me light kisses across my throat and under my jaw. "J-Jaebum I-" He cut me off when he started to suck on my sweet spot. I moaned softly and wrapped my arms around his neck on instinct. His strong arms went around my waist, dangerously close to my butt. He moved up towards my lips and viciously kissed me, our tongues fighting for dominance. He tapped on the back of my thigh signaling for me to jump. I followed his command, he backed us into the mirror as out lips were still attached in a hot kiss. I felt so wrong doing this, but it felt.. right. He put his hand up shirt then taking it off, our lips only disconnecting for a second.

We were soon both naked on the ground in a messy make out session.

I woke up on a cold hard surface feeling another person’s arms around me as I was butt naked. I sat up quickly looking for my clothes so I could cover my body. Thank god there was no one supposed to be working today since it was some sort of break day. I looked over at Jaebum who was softly sleeping, also naked. I averted my eyes as well as putting my shirt back on. I stood up and put on my pants as Jaebum was stirring awake.

“Wh- Y/n? Oh shit.” He came to realization as he sat up. He looked up at me as he was just sitting there with a innocent expression on his face.

“Put some pants on please.”

He looked down then glaced back up at me smirking of course. “Why? Don’t you want to see it again?” I widened my eyes quickly turning away towards the door. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow!” He yelled as I slammed the door shut behind me.

“I’m such a fucking idiot!”

“Why did I do that?”

What’s wrong with me?!”

These were the few things that were said while I was in my room just laying on my bed, rethinking over that sinful night of pure bliss and pleasure.

“God why am I such an idiot!”

I sat up and pulled at my hair feeling like shit. I hated myself for letting that happen. Why hadn’t I stopped it? Because he’s a fucking sex god that controls my mind, that’s why. I looked over at my phone as I heard another text notification pop up. Jaebum again. This time it wasn’t Dowoon that was the one that was bothering me. Jaebum had been texting me all week since...the incident. I hadn’t talked to him, I ignored him at work the day after and then everyday after that. He tried to talk to me, heck, he tried to get his members to talk to me.

I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. I was done with whatever game he was playing. I picked up my phone and read through all the messages he had sent me for the 100th time. They all said something in the lines of ‘why are you ignoring me?’ I never answered them, just leaving him on read. I started talking to Dowoon again, we were back to our normal weird friendship and never talked about the day he beat up Jaebum and I never told him what I did with Jaebum.

We talked at work more, people even started thinking we were dating. That caused Jaebum to give me a death glance every time someone brought up how cute we were together. Dowoon always brought me coffee in the morning now. He even offered to drive me to work, but of course I declined because I didn’t want to hassle him or make him late for his job that was more important than mine, even though we worked in the same building.

One day jaebum got too mad though. He was done with ow touchy I was with Dowoon. He never trusted Dowoon. He had always thought Dowoon had liked me, that’s why he had beaten up Jaebum and why he got so mad that day. I never suspected anything. I always thought he was just being the protective friend he is, nothing more. I had always seen him like a younger brother, but I never wanted him to call me noona, I just didn’t like it. He never gave any signs that he was interested in me so I never said anything.

I shook myself from my thinking while I got up from my bed and scurried down the stairs and into the kitchen to get something to eat. I searched through my fridge I picked out some grapes then made my way to the living room and sat down for another movie marathon. The best thing to get my mind away from the things I don’t want to think about.

I woke up with the tv still on and myself in an uncomfortable, weird position. I slowly stretched my arms and legs, afterwards I got up and departed towards my room to fetch my phone and then get ready for work.

I arrived in my room and saw all the messages Jaebum had sent me, some were from Dowoon asking what I was doing today and if we should hang out tomorrow. I responded to Dowoon’s but left Jaebum on read then got dressed for work.

The same thing happend. Jaebum gave me death glares, trying to talk to me through his members. Dowoon and me talked about all our co-workers, best friend stuff mostly. We never talked about Jaebum anymore, it was like he didn’t exist, that was until he dragged me into that same janitor’s closet and pinned me against the wall.

“Jaebum leave me alone, I’m done with your games.” I looked away, not wanting to meet those eyes that dragged me in everytime. “No one’s playing games Y/n, except you. Why are you playing games with my heart?” Quit playing games with my heart. I rolled my eyes at him. I was the one playing games?

“Jaebum I’m the on playing games? How about I’m not the one who said they loved you in high school then lied right to your face but after about 5 years they decided they should apologize then tell them they had always loved them.”

He just stared back at me, not saying anything. Just like usual. I was tired of it. “Say something! Don’t just stand there and look at me all the time! What’s wrong with you!” He didn’t even flinch at my loud yelling, just stood there and silently stared at me.

“Do you like him?”

I was surprised by his sudden question. “What?”

“Do you like Dowoon.”

I rolled my eyes sighing. Of course he would ask this. Why didn’t I see it coming? What else would he drag me into a small janitor’s closet for. I looked at him and shook my head and I swear I could see and feel him slightly let out a soft sigh. He let out a soft ‘thank god’ after letting go of my shoulders. I looked at him for a little bit, watching as he pulled his hand through his hair then ruffled it roughly.

I aimed for the door but he grabbed my arm before I could. “What’s wrong?” He pulled me softly like he was a child that wanted to go on a ride at disneyland. He had a soft pout and it took everything to try and not smile and kiss him. I guess he read my mind because he did exactly what I was fighting to do. He left a soft, light kiss on my cheek and to by honest I was disappointed that it wasn’t my lips.

“What was that for?”

He simply moved forward and hugged me. “Jaebum what’s wrong? You’re acting weird.”

‘You don’t hate me.. do you?”

At that moment my heart melted and I couldn’t deny that, I had fallen in love with this man. He said that sentence with the most softest, cutest voice, like if he spoke any louder I was going to yell at him then leave. I hugged him back as he buried his head in the crooke of my neck and I did the same. “I could never hate you Jaebum. I’m sorry for ignoring you.” Afterwards I felt a cold wet droplet fall onto my shoulder, then I heard him sniffle. He’s crying. Im Jaebum is crying.

“Jaebum are you-”

“Please, just don’t talk. I want to stay like this for a little longer, just a little bit longer.”

I nodded, burying my head deeper into his neck while tightening my arms around his shoulders.

#Jaebum #got7 #Jaebum imagines #got7 imagines #got7 texts #Jaebum texts #got7 smut #Jaebum smut #Jb imagines #Jb texts #g7 imagines #g7 #g7 texts #Jb smut #g7 smut

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