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shattered-catalyst · 4 years ago

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OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person. Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame. The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder.

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD. Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma.

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point.

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening,

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes.

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs.

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those. Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest.

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible.

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness. There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence.

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities. There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype.

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD. With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows.

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day. That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things.

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

#OCD #writing help #OCD resources.#*drops 10 pages onto your dash* whoops

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ao3feed-dadzawa · 4 years ago

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A Glass Bowl Pieced Back Together with Gold and Love

A Glass Bowl Pieced Back Together With Gold and Love by SummerOfShadows

Izuku never expected to stay in UA long. He honestly expected to be expelled before the second term. But here he is midway through the second term and living in the UA dorms. Now only if he can hide how broken he is and convince everyone how much he doesn't matter. That's easier said that done when you get almost daily night terrors that cause property destruction. Its also easier if you don't have Eraserhead as a teacher and classmates who care despite him not being worth anything.

Words: 1978, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Midoriya Inko, Bakugou Katsuki, Class 1-A

Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic

Additional Tags: Dadzawa - An Aizawa Shota Zine, Dadzawa, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Parental Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Dadmic, Inko is not a good person in this fic, sorry I love her I really do but its easier for dadzawa if mama inko isnt a good parental figure, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Self-Hatred, Self-Esteem Issues, Bakugou Katsuki Redemption, and maybe more?, IDK if I want to add any Izuku ships in here, Child Abuse

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31059623

#AO3 Feed #FanFiction #AO3 Dadzawa #♥#Erasermic #Izuku Midoriya #R:M #W:S #W:V #A:Summer #Dadzawa #Dad Mic #Mental Illness #Abuse

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ao3feed-izuku-midoriya · 4 years ago

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A Glass Bowl Pieced Back Together with Gold and Love

A Glass Bowl Pieced Back Together With Gold and Love by SummerOfShadows

Words: 1978, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Midoriya Inko, Bakugou Katsuki, Class 1-A

Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31059623

#AO3 Feed #FanFiction #AO3 Izuku #♦#Erasermic·#Izuku Midoriya #R:M #W:S #W:V #A:Summer #Dadzawa #Dad Mic #Mental Illness

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lizardbet · 4 years ago

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Dash Game :)

under the cut bc its long!

Name: Elizabeth! Can also call me Liz, Lizzy, etc.

Star sign: ehhh im a cancer i dont know all the rising etctetc stuff

Height: ~ 5′5″ / ~165cm

What’s your middle name: Rose :) we basic in this bitch

Put your spotify/apple music/google play music/youtube music on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that popped up?:

1. ) Saturday Night - Bay City Rollers

2.) She Lit a Fire - Lord Huron

3. ) Stella - Cereus Bright

4. ) Piccola anima - Ermal Meta ft. Elisa

5. ) The Last Goodbye - Billy Boyd (KILL ME NOOOO THATS SO SAD IVE LITERALLY NEVER NOT CRIED LISTENING TO THIS

6. ) The Night in Blue - CASIOPEA

Ever had a poem/song written about you?: YES but it wasn’t a good thing he was a dick and wrote an aggressive poem about our very dramatic falling out

When was the last time you played air guitar?: uhh probably when i was teasing my friend who’s obsessed with brian may

Who is your celebrity crush?: uhh the entire cast of the old guard, henry cavil, zendaya, idk i dont really keep up with celebrities

What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: i hate sudden, loud sounds, chewing, etc. I like the crackle of good crusty bread, do podcasts count?, book pages turning, well played violin

Do you believe in ghosts?: im not gonna say ~no~ but i would say im a skeptic

How about Aliens?: Obviously, although I don’t think they care or want anything to do with us

Do you drive?: I have the legal and physical ability but i prefer to be a passenger, especially if there isnt step by step directions to a location laid out or well known to me

If so have you crashed?: no but my sister totalled my car so now i have none

What was the last book you read?: I’m currently reading “The History of Love” by Nicole Krauss! I’m trying to return to the active reading of my youth

Do you like the smell of gasoline: i dont hate it but i dont like... sniff it

What’s the worst Injury you’ve had?: i got stuck between two large rocks and had to be dragged out bodily when i was young. without being too graphic i do still have scars on one leg from the ensuing cuts

Do you have any obsessions right now?: Mainly “The Old Guard” but also jujutsu kaisen and like i said im trying to get back into books so ive been watching a lot of booktube and stuff!

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?: Im a forgive but never really forget kinda person. itll probably change our relationship significantly if there was true wrongdoing if theres a relationship remaining at all. but minor transgressions are usually forgotten and left behind

In a relationship?: Ha no, and im not seeking one. dont have the time or the energy or the mental stabilty

🥴 TAGGED BY: eddie❤️ @asdigenova

🥴 TAGGING: @emrae27 @bbvalentines @xmarksthetreasure @pelkatoffel

(sorry for the tags if you arent down! literally just folk ive spoken to recently so dw if you ignore this!)

#tag game #dash game #get to know me #shut up liz #asdigenova

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ao3feed-zukka · 4 years ago

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heather

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3qrgBhA

by ChaosInTheKitchen

Words: 954, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Voltron: Legendary Defender, You Me At Six, Original Work

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Sokka (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar), Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Dan Flint, Josh Franceschi, Original Male Character(s)

Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Dan Flint/Josh Franceschi, Original Male Character/Original Male Character

Additional Tags: this is my first fic on AO3, i apologise if i end up, idk - Freeform, formatting this weird i guess, theres no names mentioned, just heather, but heather isnt really a character, its just a placeholder name for whatever female character (allura for klance, suki for zukka) 1st person thinks love interest likes, this is confusing as hell i know, and im sorry for that, Please Forgive me, how do i tag im not used to this, Major Character Death sorta, it describes the person drowning but they dont actually drown, so idk whether or not to use the archive tag, i guess i wont, i wrote this with klance or zukka in mind, but it could really go with any mlm ship, like i told my friend that it could he like flintsceshi, Did i spell that right, with dan pining after josh, but she thought more fransykes for some reason, i literally dont see why, But whatever, um anyways, klance tags if you choose to read this as klance, PINING KEITH, Gay Keith, Bisexual Lance, Platonic Allurance, klangst, now for tags if you read it as zukka, Pining Zuko, gay Zuko, platonic sukki, i guess, tags for flintsceshi, pining dan flint, gay dan flint, gay josh franseschi, i am literally so bad at spelling, how the hell do you spell joshs last name, in conclusion i am a dumbass, i think thats enough tags, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), goddamnit that last one didnt end up under the zukka section, shit fuck am i bad at this or what

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3qrgBhA

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #zukka #avatar: the last airbender #atla #zuko #sokka

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tomiyeee · 5 years ago

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finished the story quests for bl3 (but barely any of the side missions yet) and i got...Opinions(tm)

(sorry if this doesn’t cut on mobile! also if you want to hide spoilers i’m tagging all my bl3 posts as “bl3 spoilers” so ny’all can blacklist it)

in no particular order:

i honestly wanted to give gearbox some slack and try my best to like this game bc i know people had probably unfairly high expectations for this game given all the build up, but they really just kept letting me down in everything but the graphics

said this before but overall, the characters are all Quite lackluster

^^ tyreen and troy included. adding the word "bitch" to every sentence does not automatically make it funnier

that being said, i super love their backstory + relationship with typhon/nekofeyo-whatever

the character designs are equally boring. moxxi was the only one who got a real improvement imo. lilith and maya are okay. rhys...i dont think i have to explain. lia...i dislike her hair; the black felt like it balanced out her design better and the white streak was interesting and cool but full white just looks bad tbh. zer0 feels less sleek and more bulky which doesnt fit him much. tina lost her pretty color palette and cute outfit. where are all the bright pretty color palettes in general???? there are other colors besides brown and black???? use them?????

ending of pre-sequel: “you will need all the vault hunters you can get” me: “ooh does that mean all the vh’s from previous games are back? i can’t wait to see everyone meet each other! :D” bl3: only nine of them come back, 3 of them die, the rest are involved in maybe one mission at most

boss fights. super. boring. and tedious. i mean this could be partly because i was playing on ps4 which made it extra not fun but if the only reason the fight is difficult is because they have a lot of health...it's not fun or challenging. i want fights like handsome jack with interesting mechanics. i want fights like angel with emotional impact. i want fights like the pre-sequel final boss that i forgot the name of with variation that isnt just "now they have an attack that shines bright lights in ur eyes, covers the whole arena, and can knock you down in one hit im looking at you traunt and killavolt". tyreens fight was the only one that i somewhat enjoyed because of this. all the others were just like "ughhhh again?"

im really enjoying melee amara playstyle. taking out badass enemies in four hits is my jam. this is just my fallout 4 playthrough all over again babey heck yea

typhon just wanted to be a good dad!!! he called tyreen starlight which is adorable!!! he did the best he could and tyreen hated him for it!!! i don’t blame either of them for that tbh, it makes sense from both their perspectives. tyreen definitely should have been more understanding, but she’s a dick so :/ (not saying this is a writing flaw, just a character flaw)

hammerlock needs higher standards in men but i really appreciate the undeniably in-your-face "fuck you" to all gamer dudes

i really. hate. how little the player character seems to matter in the story. in pre-sequel the vh's all had unique dialogue AND npcs would respond, sometimes even with character-specific lines. even when it was the same across vh's, it still felt like the npcs were interacting and speaking directly to them. the player character felt like a character of their own, rather than just a vessel for the player to do quests and kill enemies with or an errand runner for the important characters. i thought that was the direction they were going in with bl3 too but this just feels like bl2 only worse. there’s a separation again between you and the story and it feels like you’re just watching things happen. now ur not just a silent protagonist, but instead your a speaking protagonist who gets completely ignored. whats the point of including unique dialogue if it's not even acknowledged beyond an "uh-huh, moving on"?

sometimes the logic just feels kinda dumb. the twins killed/disabled maya and lilith in a heartbeat, they can literally disintegrate the most powerful beings in the universe, but the vault hunters? absolutely not. they must fight them for 40 minutes and then die.

after the fight with troy, no one even touched tyreen. there's no way they could have thought "yup she's definitely dead, no need to shoot her in the head or anything just to make sure. we didn't do anything to even hurt her, we just assumed." turns out she's 100% alive and gets up to start the apocalypse. who'da thunk! i know they wanted the end to seem more dramatic but it just seems stupid that they could have stopped tyreen like 5 missions earlier had they even the slightest bit of common sense.

lilith was one of the biggest threats to tyreen and troy's whole plan. of course they should leave her alive and simply steal her powers. let's kill the monk siren instead.

i know they didn't include this to give all players a fair experience instead of favoring sirens, but it kinda sucks playing a siren character and it's just completely ignored outside of ur action skill. tyreen and troy are sapping siren powers left and right, but they choose to leave you with yours. when you enter the eridian place with typhon tannis starts glowing because it has "something to do with sirens". what about the one standing right next to her? this applies to bl2 as well...jack i would willingly charge ur vault key for u pls why do u take lilith instead :'(

oh yeah speaking of tannis! i LOVE that she got angels powers. for some reason it just makes me really happy. maybe it's bc i think it's sweet that part of angel survived. maybe it's because it makes for cool fanart. maybe it's just cool. idk. also like that we got a solid explanation of what angel's powers were (influence over technology). i always thought her having control over it in bl2 might've been cuz it was hyperion tech and she had access to it same as she had access to the satellite from bl1. it wasn't super clear since it seemed like she could also materialize things like the ammo during her fight.

that also reminds me: all the dramatic reveals in this game felt kinda badly done.

the very first one with zer0/katagawa. like the whole time i was walking around looking for him i was trying to think why he might've turned/something must have happened to him or rhys. everyone was saying it was undeniably zer0. i finally meet him and take one look at his bright ass maliwan armor and its like. really. you couldnt have made it anymore obvious that thats not zer0. and then his helmet gets knocked off and surprise! it's not him. i totally didnt already figure that out with one glance 10 seconds ago. (maybe even earlier when you got glimpses of him around the building but i always missed it cuz i was looking at the fish tanks n shit)

also the tannis reveal. she was speaking to me in the same way that only known siren characters could. weird unexplained things were happening and seemed to be related to tannis. i wonder if she's a siren? surprise! she's a siren.

tyreen and troy knew about the great vault through some unknown means. typhon was talking about having a son and a daughter who he told stories about the great vault. typhon calls tyreen his daughter a while later and lilith acts surprised like honey ur a little slow, i figured that out several lines ago.

basically i'm not saying they were so obvious that i knew from the beginning of the game; i only figured them out a little before they were outright stated. but it was enough that it kinda ruined the effect and the characters acting surprised only when it was blatantly spelled out for them just made it annoying.

i feel like most of this is pretty negative, but i don’t mean that i hate the game and was miserable playing it. it was honestly okay...like i said i wanted to like it, but gearbox hates me specifically and killed/ruined all my faves just to spite me sooo...*waves hand back and forth in a sort of “ehhh” gesture*. i think my opinion on bl games from most to least fav would be: tftbl, bltps, bl2, bl3, and bl1. so it’s not the worst, but deeefinitely not one of my faves. i mean jack’s not in it (or if he is he doesn’t have a big role) so it’s already at a huge disadvantage. the ending was ok, it was all dramatic n stuff and it kinda makes sense i guess, but it was just about as okay as the rest of the game really. i don’t hate it but it’s not great either yknow?

#equishit #bl3 spoilers

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j4nn4s · 5 years ago

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8 PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

I was tagged by miss @nopeenora & miss shan KWEEN @whatadaze love yall <3

ONE / name / alias penelope / peep

TWO / birthday march 25 (OMG SHAN OUR BDAYS ARE SO CLOSE TF)

THREE / zodiac sign aries / aquarius / aquarius

FOUR / height 5 ft 6.5 inches :~)

FIVE / hobbies doin design passion projects (even tho i procrastinate smh), learning languages, binging tv, discovering new music (and watching people’s reaction vids LMAOOO), yoga

SIX / favorite colours tbh idek anymore OIJWIOJ maybe indigo but i do love a good black/white high contrast scenario

SEVEN / favorite books tbh the only two books i rmr reading and really really enjoying was perks of being a wallflower when i was like 13/14 and the picture of dorian gray when i was 17/18 ... i also rlly love the 2007 and 2018 (?) editions of scandinavian graphic design cus im a fkn NERD !!!! (but idk if those count)

EIGHT / last song gone by charli xcx, christine & the queens (omg pan KWEEN)

NINE / last film midsommar ??? i think ???

TEN / inspiration for muse muse for what ...... IJOIQJIOQW idk ill just list inspiring things: satisfying n conceptual brand redesigns, any time i see or feel a strong sense of community, julie andem’s writing, endorphins when running, talking with those close to you, mountains in general OIQJIWOJ girl idk

ELEVEN / dream job in general the goal is to become a graphic designer in europe BUT !!!! the most ideal version of that is to become a graphic designer in stockholm at my fave design studio and make enough to live Comfortably and enjoy life

TWELVE / meaning behind your url miss pan queen janna bitch you already fkn KNOWWW .... i think her insta is like j4nn4n4s but thats taken so beep beep guess im goin w j4nn4s

THIRTEEN / top three ships ok obv noliv bc im skam nl’s BITCH and then ofc isak/even of skam cause havent seen a chemistry like that before lbr ... and then rue/jules bc i love them together sm and i feel like they balance each other out but ik that rn the relationship is unhealthy but i sTILL LOVE THEM TOGETHER IM STUBBORN OK !!!!

FOURTEEN / lipstick or chapstick tbh no matter how much lip liner i wear lipstick never sticks which is annoyin n also when u blot it it isnt as vibrant so its too much to handle smh .... lets go w Chapstick

FIFTEEN / currently reading abbi jacobsons book (i might regret this) !!!!!! deadass ive never related to the first 30 pages of a book in my LIFE this woman makes me feel so SEEN and CALLED TF OUT omg

ok im sorry if youve been tagged already u dont have to do this but i love u hehe @floraflorenzi @isakvdhflorenzi @queenofpurgatoryx @wackpainterkid @megeliz01 @merldruck @axelauriantblot @kar-d-momme

#the peep tag #THANK UUUUU :')

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safeklancewriters · 7 years ago

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Fic Rec #3

Date ending: April 21

Sorry all that this is late! Next months should hopefully be on time if life doesn’t get in our way. But this month she’s a long one and we have some stellar fics for yall this month! As usual, the fics will follow below the cut

Summary: This isn’t Keith. This isn’t the Keith he has fought alongside as a fellow teammate. This isn’t the Keith he used to call his rival and now can consider his friend. This isn’t the Keith he has slowly grown fond of with each passing day, with each passing second. This isn’t him. But maybe…

Keith’s been brainwashed and Lance hopes he can snap him out of it.

Summary:

Lance's fingers hovered over the talisman, an inch away from brushing against it. His mind went blank as he stared down at the other boy, who stared back at him with wide, questioning eyes that were a startling shade of violet.

The dazed look on the boy’s face transformed into a frown as his breathing quickened. The more his eyes focused on Lance, the more a wild panic started to set into them.

"Who are you?" he asked sharply. It sounded like he'd meant it to come out with more ferocity, but his voice rasped on the words like he hadn't spoken in weeks.

Lance doesn't know where he comes from––only that he was found in a forest on a distant planet when he was an infant, with no sign of his origin except a blue talisman around his neck. Nowadays he's content to travel the universe with his best friend Hunk, scavenging and selling goods. But that all changes when a girl named Pidge hitches a ride with them, and in the same day the trio finds a crashed ship carrying nothing but a boy with no memory of who he is ... and a red talisman that matches Lance's.

Summary: Both paladins turned to their new, small alien companion. She lifted her head to look at each of them in turn, her eyes round. Keith laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“How about you, Zola?” he said. “Are you ready to go?”

She didn’t answer right away. Then she hesitantly asked, “Where are we going?”

As he made eye contact with Lance over her head, Keith could have sworn he felt something electric in the air: a simultaneous resurgence of determination.

“We’re going to take you home.”

Keith and Lance rescue a little alien girl from a hostage situation and bring her home ... and learn a few things about themselves and each other along the way.

Summary: Lance had made a mistake, but he could also make flowers grow.

Summary: It's been two weeks since Keith and Lance started dating, and they've begun preparing to move in together. They decide to tackle one hurdle before they go any further in their relationship, sleeping in the same bed. However, there are still aspects of themselves that they haven't told their partner. What starts as a peaceful night turns into one of discovery as they learn more about the baggage each of them carry.

Cheetah Tongue by mishcakes Rating: Teen Pairings: Keith/Lance Additional characters: everyone else on team volron Tags: Alcohol | i mean it isnt but it makes them act like it | so just to be safe Stats: Words:2,680 Chapters:1/1

Summary: In which Keith and Lance go on a journey to find out why they woke up alone together in a closet.

Summary: Keith and Shiro are real estate agents tasked with fixing up a once abandoned house. It's a mystery why the house was abandoned, until Keith realises that it's haunted by an annoying ghost named Lance.

Summary: “Tell me,” Keith asked, finally tearing his eyes away from the sky to look at Lance. Lance frowned in confusion. “Tell you what?” “What the desert whispers into your ears.” – One night, a few hundred years into the future, in a dark laundromat in the middle of the vast Nevada desert – Keith ends up meeting Lance by a turn of fate. When they meet again in Galaxy Garrison for their junior year, an unlikely friendship blooms between them, as lively as the star-scattered skies, and as strong as the desert wind.

Summary: On the night before Lance and Keith graduate from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, they decide to sneak out one last time to the astronomy tower.

Keith tries to find the courage to tell his best friend he's in love with him.

[[Updated with art!!]]

New Endings ch. 4 by thatreallyshittydude Rating: Teen Pairings: Keith/Lance Additional characters: Allura Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence | Black Paladin Lance | yeah you heard me Stats: Words:11,004 Chapters:5/?

Summary: For the last two years, Keith has been completely alone. Nothing in his life meant anything. He simply kept going without any purpose, serving a faceless organization that hardly got anything done. But one day, he receives a call. A call to join Team Voltron, a call to become the Red Paladin, a call to meet new people. Though begrudgingly, he answers it.

Summary: Keith looks down at the stereotypical red solo cup in his hand, filled with some liquor he found in the fridge. Someone named Rolo had put in his hand almost an hour ago. At first, he hadn’t had any of the mystery liquid out of fear of the unknown, but the second he saw Lance he chugged half of it’s contents. It’s fruity, but sour.

Keith looks up from the cup as he brings it to his lips again. His eyes, almost as if they’re trained to do so, find Lance. Lance is speaking to the short girl — Katie, he thinks is her name, but he isn’t positive — and the larger man he knows to be Hunk. He and Hunk have physics together. They’ve never spoken. Lance laughs at something Hunk says, and Keith finds himself smiling into his cup. He hates it and downs the rest of the cup’s contents, and then grimaces at the taste.

Keith decides he needs a refill.

#skwficrecs #i hope the format sticks this time :/#and that the links dont break #sorry if they do!#monthly rec #ficrec #fic rec #march #april #safeklance #safevoltron #ficrecs

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michaelmilkers · 7 years ago

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i dont talk about this a lot but sometimes the sheer amount of bullshit i deal with on this blog gets to me

i mean i can and will 100% follow my own advice and take a break from blogging when it gets to be too much, ive done it before, nothing is stopping me, but its kinda just. sad to see how people are really selective with their empathy. because whenever i engage with anti-antis my inbox is suddenly flooded with stuff like this:

these arent even all of the screenshots i have. but the people who consider themselves like fucking martyrs or smthn for abuse survivors never ever say anything about it.

i remember when a bunch of k/illing st/alking fans were on my ass and i got this ask:

and even though so many anti-antis were going through my blog and obsessively checking it in order to hound me on every post i make, none of them said anything about this. also i had gotten this ask right after i had relapsed because i was triggered by ks content in an unrelated tag and it made me think of my abuser.

people think im a hypocrite bc i say its just words on a screen. which it is. i logged out of tumblr and didnt go on it for a day after receiving this ask and i felt better. i always have the option of turning asks off. but like. i would never do this? to anyone. i would never look through their blog enough to know specifics about their trauma to use it against them. like its absolutely appalling that people who boast about championing trauma survivors dont care about their own crowd doing this. ive literally had better experiences with fucking republicans. i was arguing with conservatives on gun control a while back on my main and one of them purposefully misgendered me (this was back when i was much more insecure and sensitive than i am now) and like four other people saw that i was upset, stopped arguing with me, and even went out of their way to say “even though i disagree with you doing that isnt okay and im sorry this person is being so mean to you.”

i would never go this far. i would never send some of the shit ive received on this blog to people. graphic asks about how i should slit my wrists or dip my head in acid. calling people names is a defense mechanism like 85% of the time. i tell an anti-anti to choke, a bunch more get super upset about it, they all block me, i dont have to interact with them anymore.

i dunno. idk why im even posting this. i guess i just wanted to be honest with yall bc even though i have thick skin its not all sassy comebacks all the time. im gonna call it a night.

#suicide tw #abuse tw #long post #discourse #vent

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shiirobara · 7 years ago

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Fill in with your answers. Repost. Do not reblog.

Basics:

Name: Gabby//nicole//akari.

Preferred pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Pansexual

Zodiac sign: Capricorn// dog (chinese zodiac)

Taken or single: Single

Three facts:

I love Kujou Tenn so much you have no idea. I would sell my soul to buy him happiness.

I used to found Haruka really annoying. But after Tenn roasts him to the point he went crying, I feel sorry for him;;;;

My best girl in i7 isnt Tsumugi, but Aya. (i still love both tho)

Experience:

How long (months/years?): 10 i guess?? I first rping in forums when i was in 6th grade.

Best experience: To be honest? My best experience is when I rp as anzu in the enstars fandom. The community is so understanding and just fun. Nobody will judge you for your ships , and at first i was scared to tell them about my ships (since 90 percent of my ship revolves around anzu ) , but having such understanding friends made me to be open about my ships. The rp community is very friendly and accepting thats why its very fun to rp with them.

Character preferences:

Female or male: female

Favorite face: Uh unfortunately Aya doesnt have much graphics ;;;;;

Least Favorite face: I dont have any. I love all of them.

Multi or single: Single i guess. this is ironic since i own a multi muse blog lol.

Writing preferences:

Fluff, angst or smut: FLUFF AND ANGST! Those two are always my favorite when it comes to writing!

Plots or memes: Memes, honestly im bad in plotting!

Long or short replies: I dont really care about the length.

Best time to write: around 6 or 7 pm i guess??? idk it depends on the mood haha.

Tagging: nobody.

#.ooc #.meme

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jasonvtodd · 7 years ago

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answer the following eleven questions, add eleven questions of my own and tag 11 people.

tagged by some medic @kellyabbotts & cowboy @zanesgarrett cause apparently they love to see me type

HIRAS QUESTIONS

1. Would you consider watching a show/movie in a language you don’t understand? And have you? If so, what’s your favourite? assuming you mean with subs otherwise lol i cry. you know i watched sk*m but we all know how that investment turned out. yuri on ice ws worth it and theres been a few movies that were 20/10 that werent in englsih. i cant remmeber them all. amelie is one. 2. Three things you’ve bought and regretted. mass amounts of dvds ive accumulated over the years. umm. idk what else. 3. Star Trek or Star Wars. Sherlock or Elementary. If you want, explain why. lmao i love how u tagged me for these questions but you could probably answer them all for me anyway bUT ok. sure. i’ll play. star trek > star wars > elementary > shitlock 4. Who is your favourite 25 and older LGBT+ characters? What book/movie/show are they from and why do you love them? oh fuck. i mean. automatically all my cut & run guys. and yes i mean all of them. plus ofc boyd and hsin from icos. 5. A book that you wish would be turned into a tv show or movie. !!!!!!doNTT!!!!!!! make!!ME CHOOSEE!! likeee trc is already getting turned into a show so i dont have to say that but also ofcc foxhole court (if it was one right) cut & run cut & run cut & run sidewinder prequelll !!!!!!!!!!!! 6. If we were to move to a different planet because this Earth is dead, would you call it Earth-2? If not, what would you name it? i wouldnt call it earth 2 cause thats so unoriginal and lame *looks at dc* I’LL THINK OF A REALLY COOL NAME. AND COOL IT THAT (wip) 7. Deep space or the deep sea? DEEEP SPAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEE!!!!!! 8. Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise? pls. hanks. 9. Diversity = representation: thoughts? lolol you know damn well my view on this. without offending anyone or outright saying the shows i feel are causing a lot of this problem. lets just say one more time... loudly for the kids in the back... 👏 JUST👏CAUSE 👏THERES👏DIVERSITY 👏 IN👏 A👏PIECE👏OF 👏MEDIA 👏SURE👏AS👏SHIT👏DONT👏MAKE👏IT👏REPRESENTATION 👏 stop trying to slap on a ‘LOOK AT THIS GOOD REP’ on your shitty shows that have mediocre acting at best and acting like everyone who doesnt like it is the holy grail is being racist or homophobic or just ‘isnt appreciating it for what it is. like lol nah m8. im sorry. your shows shit cause its shit. no matter what good ‘diversity and rep’ you may think it has.. doesnt make up for the shitty acting, the flimsy plot and the crap special effects. its 2017. step up your game. this isnt charmed or buffy. 10. Why do you think buying things make us feel so happy? fucked if i know but dont make me think to deep on it otherwise ill start crying 11. Cillian Murphy: real or fake? you tell me

JO’S QUESTIONS

1. if you have the choice do u buy a physical book or buy a digital copy (dont factor in money just which is your preference)? physical physical physical physical physical

2. how did u discover tumblr? a friend had been on my ass for ages to get it. i dint even make my first url, she did and set it all up for me lmao (thelettuceisdead)

3. if you could instantly be in another place right now where would u go? houston, texas

4. discover the deepest corner of the ocean, or take a trip into space? SPACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

5. best kind of smell? my incense

6. what has changed for u in the last year? good questiojn

7. mustard yellow or mint green? who the fuck wants gross mustard. green m8

8. painted nails or none? always painted

9. short story or novel? dependdds

10. last show you quit watching because *cringe* LMAO ask @kellyabbotts by now she should have a lsit of ‘shows ive made em quit for her own good’

11. are you a ‘lotr is amazing, i could marathon the extended editions, the world could be ending outside and i wouldnt notice’ or a ‘i probably could have taken a nice nap instead of sitting through this’ person? *is scared to answer so i dont get my ass reamed again by you and hira at any mention of lotr....* i love the movies, i do. i grew up on them... buutt id also prefer doing something else hides

MY QUESTIONS

biggest regret of 2017?

something that always makes you happy?

if you could go back to your 2011 self, what would you say?

graphic novel or novel?

horror flicks or chick flicks?

whats a massive popular opinion that you disagree with?

finish this sentence... kids today _________

three things or people you cant live without?

pine, evans, hemsworth or pratt?

dc or marvel? why?

dog person or cat person?

tagging @kellyabbotts @zanesgarrett (u dicks) @princebucky @todorokishto @amelliwood @fightmewayne @paradeofadolescence @boydbaeulieu @nickyklose @bcydbeaulieu @pipvdream

#i got tagged #text post

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