#sorry i've been venting too much on here
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I hate being the planner
Like for once can people just ask me to do things?
#i hate bugging people but I want to hang out#it makes me feel like people don't actually want to hang out with me#if you don't like me just tell me#we can take a break that's fine#but i'd much rather you tell me that you're sick of me than me keeping asking you and you keep on saying no#i hate being rejected#sometimes i swear it's like “why should i even try anymore” yknow#sorry i've been venting too much on here
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80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.
#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha#I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours...#''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months#Like#Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death#But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky!#I worry a lot about wasting my life#I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death#Or a painful one#I suppose I've always been gerascophobic...#But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately...#I haven't been great I guess#I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!!#And I've been going nowhere.#:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think#Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me.#*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol#😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old#🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent#working on some different stuff for a bit.#ANYWAYS#I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️#oh or day if it's day for you lol
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Jesus ain't enough at this point. Imma need Fred Durst to take the wheel bcuz today has been a fucking DAY 😩 and I can't keep rollin rn.
#it has been a shit show at work and I've been sick too. So imma need our patron saint Durst to heal my tired soul#haven't been on here in a while and I just needed to vent. sorry y'all.#I'll try my best to catch up with posts in the LB tag throughout the weekend. Definitely miss interacting with everyone on here.#hope everyone has been doing okay#I'm gonna go try and get some much needed sleep now
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man.
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#gonna say I'm venting a bit (kinda of a lot)#but I may seem selfish from this and let me say now ik everyone was putting themselves first (which is a very good thing)#but having three mutuals deactivate their accounts within I think two months or so??#I rlly don't like to be negative and I might also take a break from Tumblr (as much as I love posting here#so I'm still unsure if I'll even stick to that) bc of how negative I've been lately#I just don't want to keep venting and putting that on everyone so#but yeah I just. It makes me sad to see old/new mutuals go#I never thought I'd have to like#witness it#Idk#I've cried over losing them all and it feels rlly silly but I mean idk#I (try to — my feelings with crying are iffy and I hate admitting I do cry) not cry over everything but I just can't word stuff rn#might be posting less/not posting at all for the next few days or so#I'm gonna be busy in July anyways so it's probably better to just say that now#sorry guys I'm just dealing with some stuff mentally lately (an example being gender dysphoria but I can't even word the stuff going on#not to sound like I'm overexaggerating bc I rlly don't wanna seem like I am. It's nothing too serious so don't#be worried at all pls I'm ok enough I won't just disappear)#I just wish I could have alone time in my room with my cats without my family bugging me for a few days#It's tiring atp#I wanna lock myself up just to recooperate and figure out how to deal with certain things the best I can#anyways yap fest over I'm gonna go play wuwa and build Jinshi more#sorry for venting again 🫡🫡
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'I just don't believe in/understand it!' well unfortunately for you I just don't stop existing as an agender person bc you don't believe in it. I'm not fucking tinkerbell.
#vent post#transphobia#let's play a game where we guess if my mom can ever learn to apologize when she did something wrong on accident#and that answer is rarely if ever#a lot of this isn't going to make sense#so just ignore me#also class move from my mom in response to being told she was (potentially) misgendering to RANDOMLY BRING IN MY FATHER WHO I'VE BEEN TOO#SCARED TO EVEN COME OUT TO YET#LIKE NO I HAVEN'T BROUGHT THIS UP WITH DAD AND YOU FUCKING KNOW WHY#BUT THANKS FOR BRINGING HIM INTO THE CONVERSATION I GUESS THAT WAS SUPER RELEVANT#maybe I messed up but so fucking did you#confronted her in the most neutral and nicest way I could bc I KNEW she wasn't misgendering on purpose and so I SAID THAT#and /I/ get called TOO SENSITIVE when asking them too be a bit more careful#I'm not asking for tHE FUCKING MOON HERE I'm asking you to LEARN TO CORRECT YOURSELF WHEN MESSING UP#and I keep fucking saying sorry why do I DO this the second there's friction#I just start apologizing for her and saying I never meant to cause harm I can never stick to my guns when I feel someone's mad at me#especially someone I'm close to why am I LIKE this#this happened the last time we argued and then I feel bad and she gets off scott free#this sounds one-sided but to be fair I did make a misunderstanding#but I still get called ''''too sensitive''''' while holding no accountability#I was APPROACHABLE and NEUTRAL in bringing it up so we could HAVE A CONVERSATION LIKE ADULTS#and yet STILL ASKING FOR TOO MUCH and get the cold shoulder#I knew she was mad from the first text#this shifts lines a little for me#misgendering#tw transphobia
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Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow
#idk i don't have much 'real stuff' happening irl besides like. job hunting and college applications. so it's hard#but i think if i at least ease off some time on here n read a little more n watch more movies i might start to feel better#haven't really liked where my head's been at lately it feels like whatever persona is The One Who Blogs is 'taking over' more#to put it in a very dorky comic book-sounding ass way LMAO but that's how i feel! like i'm losing my own 'voice' yknow#my mental health is Bad my physical health is also Not Great n i kinda feel like ass. if i'm being honest#idk i feel like i'm crashing from whatever high i've been on for the past couple of days n i'm not Really super happy w myself#except the media literacy posts those were good. but like the more discoursey stuff i'm not proud of#again sorry to like. publicly vent LMAO i'll be fine i'm good. i'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this#but again. sorry abt the Shite i was posting earlier today i wasn't really in my own right head#just kinda wanted 2 get all that off my chest idk if it's clear that i don't really have anyone i feel like i can talk to right this moment#i'm very socially isolated irl and i'm so scared of becoming socially isolated online too just bc i'm an idiot who doesn't think b4 he post#NOT to make it sound all about me or whatever but it's true. i'm very very scared of losing people n right now this is My Space#i'd forgotten just how bad it felt. in this Specific case it is kinda my fault tho LMAO don't worry i've apologized as best i know how#okay i'm done. i'm done. i'm gonna go watch tv and go to bed i hope#open mick night
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hiiiiiii zzzzzzz (pronounced zeeeeee) ummmm i love you sososo much ur the cooliest fr and ur my fav big sibling mwah mwah ily 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶💞💘💓💘💗💘❤️🩹❤️🔥❣️❤️🩹💟❤️🔥💟💓💘💞💞💟💞🩷
also i scrolled thru yr entire lizzie tag and wow u mean so much to me and i mean so much to u and i maybe cried a little bit and idk where im going with this ok i lobe u goodnighty <3
that's honestly how i pronounce it in my head, our minds You can't tell me these things, I'm gonna get an ego!! Like, I'm Lizzie's fav big sibling 😎💁🏼 But literally you're my favoritist little sibling and you're right you DO mean so much to me, ily so so so much 🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
#asks#lizzie tag 🐸#either I'm obvious with my vent posts or your super power is somehow knowing when I need extra love alsdkjf#like I'm always thankful for your asks ofc this just came at a time when my health is super bad and i just really needed it#with that said. i know you've been going through stuff too and i've been wanting to reach out i just haven't been able cause of health#(not trying to make excuses)#but just know i'm always here for you if you need it 💗💗 you mean a lot to me and i'm always sending you good vibes#also i put my whole heart into your bday present so i could least show u that way how much you mean to me#and you'll actually get it on time cause I finished it early and it's already in my queue ☺️#anyway sorry for rambling in the tags lasdkj
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gehhh I can feel my brain starting to turn pretty fucky wucky and I would really prefer to not have that happen again cause it was really bad last timeee
#forrest speaks#vent#i literally feel up to my eyeballs in stress there's so much shit going on right now and i just really don't like this#got real bad family stuff happening and just general depression shit hitting really hard and pressure from parents to like choose a career#and pressure from uni cause I've not done work for a while and have been in a state about it and ive been too terrified to try and sort#out my probable autism shit cause it stresses me out thinking about it#i just feel like curling up into my bed and never leaving it yknow? its overwhelming and makes me want to cease#feel the need to say that i wont and dont do stupid shit to myself when i get like this because i dont want people worrying n shit#i just usually keep by myself and stay in bed and just mentally beat myself up i guess#god being awake just feels so exhausting right now but im still to awake to sleep#im sorry for dumping this here but i just wanna scream how im really feelin deep down into the void n stuff and this is the best i can do#gonna try drawing a bunch of real self indulgent shit so i can get that happy feeling of making something at the very least#god knows ill need it
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#vent#was scrolling on tikok and saw a livestream of a palestinian man watching his town get raided by the israeli army. i'm in fucking tears.#i'm israeli. this is my country doing these horrific things to palestinians. taking innocent lives and terrorizing generations of people.#i feel sick to my stomach knowing my country is doing this. has BEEN doing this for so many years. it's so painful seeing palestine go#through this. i've donated so much money and gone to many many protests in support of palestine but i can't do enough to stop this war.#i really wish i could do something to get the israeli government to listen to palestine's cries. i feel ashamed of being israeli.#i want to embrace my heritage but i want to see all of israel's government dead too. i hate this war they've brought onto palestine.#i hate it so much. it's unnecessary. it hurts. and i can't do anything about it. i just want palestine free. why is that so much to ask?#i know no one cares about this but i just need to get this out. it's so painful seeing palestine go through this because of my country.#i just want it to end. i'm sorry for dumping this here. i don't have anyone else to really talk about this with.
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im so fucking sad they've been gone for nearly a year today is the exact day I last kissed them why haven't I taken care of myself yet. I learnt my lesson, I can't be fixed, no one will fix me and all I ever do is make everything I love disappear. I was angry and I didn't say I love you back and now I'll never hear it again. I never say I love you back to my family. I shouldn't be allowed to say it to anyone else. Im sorry I never said I loved you. im sorry
#where'd all my friends go#Im so sorry#I was supposed to die in august#I've been feeling so chronically suicidal since july#what is wrong with me?#dying would fix everything yet I don't do it#even though I've had a way out on hand for months any time I want#anger is always punished#and choosing to die made my beardie disappear too#im so sorry I didn't mean to I didn't mean it I didn't mean it#im so sorry#I just want my beardie to come home I just want my friends here I just wanna feel like me again#im still so sad#the only people to actually be affected by my death is my family#all this is is another selfish act#that's why I can't do it#im afraid of their judgement#im afraid of them#tw suicide#tw sui ideation#vent#please only let me have good dreams tonight#why doesn't anyone miss me#I still miss them so much#and I feel like I'm ruining the only friend I have in my life
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#i know two schizophrenic people and one of them being literally the worst person i've ever met and in my life is kinda wild to think about#the other person i love her i really do and i wish i had the energy to help her rn but i don't#i'm at a breaking point#like yall don't and will never understand mental illness until you see how severely it affects the person and everyone aroun them#like this shit is UGLY relationship destroying life ruining pathogen type beat i hate it here so bad#like the quality of life is abysmal#i wonder how it is to not have to deal with it must be heaven on earth#sorry just wanted to vent and this is kind of barely coherent#thoughts#also the resources to help ppl like this are practically nonexistent and this country needs to burn#at every turn it's been apathetic beaucracy and incompetency#if you don't have monu they said fuck you and die#we gotta burn this place#and honestly it just feels like a bunch of judgement for not draling with the circumstances better sympathetic condolences#and glad-that's-not-me's#really sucks to be us energy fr rn ://#all or our youth is passing us by and its just... beyond our control#mum's wailing in her room in utter despair bc mentally ill sister got evicted bc she's been swiping ppl's packages from their front doors#for months#really wanna d1e#i love the former person this i mainly about (sister) but most days if not every day i hate her is the god's honest truth#but also i get why she's here and how she's got there and relate to a lot of her hatred of everyone and everything including herself but ya#there's too much there#and i'm not strong enough for forgiveness and neither is she#so she's on the streets god knows where with a fucking dog and she's gonna appear tomorrow morning again and ofc we'll let her in#sigh#my sobriety was kinda nice for the last 7 months it lasted
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No, anon, I didn't FUCKING KNOW. I don't stalk people's social media, I almost exclusively use Tumblr, I was under the impression that nothing had changed. No one in this god-forsaken fandom tells me fucking anything and I either have to figure things out on my own or look like a fucking moron asking people. So no. I didn't know.
#sorry for the agression I just feel like I'm constantly out of the loop or that people are always talking in places I can't see/hear them#I have two twt accs I barely use; my ao3; and one (1) discord server#and I KNOW everyone has other places they talk about things in which is FINE I don't have to be a part of everything all the time#but I'm fucking terrified that I DID something and that's why it feels like I'm always on the outskirts or left out of stuff. like I made a#comment here or there and that's why someone blocked me or I was a little too insufferable and that's why someone hasn't been showing up in#my notes or maybe I'm too angry and aggressive and mean and that's why I can't be in discord servers. Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm too much#which fucking SUCKS because I've NEVER felt comfortable doing anything as myself but the minute I do it feels like everyone disappears#whatever I guess I'll go write smut for attention or something#discourse#vent#to be deleted
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#i want to sit and draw until morning#instead i need to sit and research until morning#i have a check in tomorrow and i reaaaaally hope we come up with something for my thesis#i have an idea i don't know if it's any good but it's more than i had yesterday#it doesn't mean everything else will be easy tho#if they give me an ok i need to actually think about it and how to make it#i already want to cry#i have a month to get it all ready#i hope it's enough because i don't want to drag this any longer#also i need to leave the house#it's been 20 days since the last time i've only been to the grocery store and to the bar for a quick coffee#i'm okay with not having a life but this is too much even for me#sorry i need to vent somewhere and i haven't overshared on here recently
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wanna get excited for cockles anniversary next week but i have to attend my first funeral the day after, so this is fun !
#cw death#sigh im sorry i feel like i hardly post and when i do it's sad stuff but Things just haven't stopped happening since november I'm tired#i really really hope next year can be a little more calm. begging actually#while I'm at it I'm gonna vent in these tags#so my grandpa very unexpectedly died on tuesday and i feel so weird about it#I've been crying here and there but i haven't had a real breakdown the way I've had about the deaths of my cats or even dean lol#this is so messed up#maybe my brain is saving it for the funeral because I'm genuinely afraid i will be crying so much that it will be downright inappropriate#i think the whole vibe of funerals and the music and the crying people will just be too much im not prepared at all#im really scared ughhh i dont know
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i really love music so much 🥹🫶🏼
#🌙.vents#haven't been doing well at all today#i'm too tired even to write or do anything n it hurts bcs i really wanted to be productive#i.. ranted a bit on my sideblog. maybe you'd find the account if you search for it somehow#i'm too tired to say the words i wrote there here#i don't really care too much for it anymore#i'm fine with just hiding now#but layin down n just closing my eyes listening to music#i don't have anything to worry about#i feel like such a burden i just want to hide n disappear ngl but i'm. holding on somehow#music rn is saving me#milgram mili gbf ff#i said sorry a lot on my sideblog but here i'll say. thank you#i've been laying down n sleeping for the whole day help#i've barely ate anything at all n by the time i'm editing this it's nearly 10 pm#i'm too tired i feel so sorry for everything i've done n couldn't do#i'll be fine i think#just rlly tired today i haven't done anything at all
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Hello yes,, another seb smut request :] I absolutely LOVEEDD the last fic u wrote and now I require more HGHDHFJF
Mabye like a really steamy makeout session with seb in his shop that ends up going further? But he has two tounges (///.//.///) so it's extra freakyyy,,
Preferably with a side of more degrading and breeding kink,, also, if your up for it,, maybe some oviposition?
Pairing•[Sebastian Solace x hybrid fishy! Gn reader?]
Warnings• 18+ No minors, but I'm not your mom so consume your own content, ovi kink, double tongue, double cock, breath play, breeding kink, blood, wounds?, not prof read
A/N• Okay, so, like, sorry for taking so long on this 😭 I've been so busy!! Anyway, I tried to make it gender neutral as possible. I'm also sorry for how short and bad this is. I really rushed it because I've been procrastinating on this. I also need to organize all my stuff on here as well. Flip. I also don't know why reader is a fish hybrid, I totally forgot what I was gonna do with that
Word count• 1.4K
Heavy pants ringed through your ears as you pushed open hell saving door fifty. Clutching your side blood staining your hand, a giant gash layed on your side. Labored breaths seethed out of your clenched teeth as you gripped onto your side, attempting to apply pressure and because it hurt like hell. With a prayer, the vent up ahead pushed open with a snicker lingering in it. It was your trusted friend, well more of your only friend here, Sebastian. The weird fishy hybrid eel thing. . you didn't really know exactly what DNA was in him, just that he was a weird hybrid thing that sold you items. Nothing more, nothing less.
Crawing through the vent with a hiss due to the new position of having to crawl, tail dragging behind you. Red drops from the gash beneath your hand, leaving a small trail in wake. A small gasp leaving your mouth as you stood up, heaving. Suddenly your vision getting hazy finally came to you, how much blood have you lost? Glancing down to your wound, your whole hand was dripping red. The only noise you could focus on was the soft dripping of the crimson droplets hitting the metal like floor, your ear fins fanned back uncomfortably.
Due to your carelessness and not being careful about the doors you went into, you've waltz into at least one of the "Good People's" doors, maybe a few too close encounters with Angler leaving scratches on you. Everything was too fuzzy to remember, or feel? Looking up you finally notice Sebastians worried facial expression, and when where you sat on top of this table? A uncomfortable groan left you as Sebastian tightly wrapped bandages around your exposed wound. When did he take off my diving gear? Your eyebrows furrowed in glazed confusion, what was even happening? With your vision beginning to fade out, you slumped forward into Sebastians arms opting out on falling back against the hard metal wall.
The uncomfortableness of the cold metal against your bare skin and the stinging pain in your side sturs you awake. Hissing through your teeth you sit up, quickly realizing you arnt in your diving gear instead being in the bare essentials. The coldness was something you never could adjust to properly after being fused with some randome fish DNA the scientists excluded from telling you. Glancing down to your side you realize it's bandaged up, already becoming a light pink colour. A rough "Ahem." brings your attention to infront of you, Sebastian is in his normal spot in the corner. "How are you feeling?" His voice laced with distaste at the fact he even asked that, his eyes are squinted at you analytically.
"I'm. . fine." Your voice comes out warily, feeling uncomfortable under his unwelcoming gaze. A small hum leaves Sebastian in acknowledgement, awkward silence quickly fills in the room. The situation just being unusual between you too, and the fact you were practically half naked infront of him. Truly embarrassing stuff. You wince into yourself at the stinging pain to your side, analyzing your coverd wound once again. "You know. . I could take your mind off the pain. If you wanted." Sebastian voice made you look up once again, this time in confusion. "What. . What do you mean?" Voice laced with unease as his gaze becomes more predatorial like.
With him standing at the end of the table he easily grabs ahold of your ankles, firm hands slowly gliding up your exposed flesh pulling your pelvis flush to his waist. "You know. . just another way for you to repay for my services. Gotta pay for that medkit I used on you anyways, plus you staying in my hideout? A large fee you owe. ." He trails off. His gaze boreing into you as if trying to burn right through you. "Right.." His hands leave goosebumps in wake of his trail, finally firmly resting on your hips. Two tongues simultaneously slip out of his mouth as he leans forward. Your eyes widen slighty at the fact he has two, mouth agap slighty in awe. Sebastian takes this opportunity and connects his mouth with yours.
Two of the silky appendages explore your mouth, wrapping around your tongue. Eyes closing in bliss, hands coming up and wrapping around his neck deepining the kiss. His tongues threaten to go deeper into your throat, teasingly he slithers them further slowly making you let out a choked whimper. One of his hands come up to your throat choking you, starting out softly but quickly roughing it up to barley suffocating squeezing. With air becoming scarce for you, you grip onto the back of his neck hoping he'll get the idea. Your vision quickly begins to blur with no oxygen getting to you. Weakly squirming under him hoping to free yourself.
As your vision begins to fade and your wiggling slows he leans back, letting go of your throat. Taking in a sharp breath, feeling your heart skip a beat as your vision finally regains to its full. Sebastian chuckles as he looks down at you panting, your grip on him tightens as you finally calm down, but that was short lived as you feel two rather big appendages wiggle against your thigh. You feel your breath hitch in your throat as you see he has two cocks instead of one. The one that slithers it's way on the top of your stomach is much bigger and more thicker rather than the one that's under your thigh, it's still pretty big but the bottom is more thicker than the tip.
With a quick thrust of his hips a low groan emmits from him. With two of his hands gripping your midsection and his other grabbing your ankle, hoisting it over his shoulder as he leans in closer to you, mouth connecting once more. His bigger tentacle like cock slithers under your underwear, withoit any prep or warning he quickly juts his hips into you, cock easily slipping inside with how slick you already were. Tears prick the corners of your eyes at the stinging pain of him stretching you out, but after a few more thrusts the pain turned into pleasure. Moaning into the heated kiss, the feeling of his tongue fucking your mouth draws you closer to the edge, the familiar tightening feeling forms in your stomach.
As Sebastian leans back for air he reposting himself so his chest is flush against yours, he grabs the back of your thighs pushing them up. With this new angle he pushes himself impossibly deeper, hitting spots you never knew existed. Your arms tangle around his neck pushing his face into the crook of your neck. His tongues slither out giving a few little licks before harshly biting down, seemingly grounding himself as he does a few more harsh thrusts into the spot making your head feel dizzy. With a final thrust you feel something pushing its way inside you, Sebastians body stiffens with a groan as his jaw slacks against your shoulder. His nails dig into the flesh of your thighs as he stills inside you. You whimper at the unfamiliar feeling of being filled up, a intrusion pushing past your cervix. Eyes furrowing in slight discomfort as you cling onto Sebastian, his rough panting, licks, and soft nips against your shoulder distract you from the pain.
He pulls out with a low groan, your stomach has a soft bump from all the eggs he pushed into you. A surprised whimper left your throat as you feel a his other slick tentacle wiggle against your entrance. He easily pushed inside once again, giving a few shallow thrusts before roughly pushing himself all the way. Moaning at the feeling of being impossible full, he ruts into you as he rides through both of your highs. He stays inside of you for a moment, catching his breath. His hand comes up and be runs his fingers through your hair, tips of his nails rubbing against your scalp comfortably. He let's your legs down slowly letting them lay on either side of his waist. His face still nuzzled into your neck as the movements of his hands slowly still until soft breathing can be heard from him. You glance down and realize he fell asleep, exhaustion quickly becomes evident to you as your eyes close with ease and you drift off to sleep holding onto Sebastian.
#🦝fic💤#🦝kobraaaah💤#🦝cobraaah💤#sebastian solace x reader smut#sebastian solace smut#sebastian solace x reader#sebastian solace
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