#sorry i'm rambling in the tags it's what I do
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Ersatz, baby
m!shape-shifter!yandere x gn!reader. 4k words. yes. I'm so sorry.
TW: Obsession, possessive thoughts and behaviors, mentions of violence, gore, consumption of humans, idk how to tag it but the shape-shifter eats humans and has considered eating the reader so like heads up about that
Heeeeey
Somebody PLEASE tell me if the length of this piece is detrimental to the experience of reading it it’s like 4k words. Here’s something I’ve been kicking around for ages. Frankly I am shocked I have something at all after a year
“Odd couple” is the best way to describe the friendship between you and Sasha. You’re awkward and responsible and outwardly boring. He’s highly social, wild, and intriguing. You’re genuine to a fault. He’s an expert in facades; he is a facade. You’re human and he’s something utterly not.
The freak accident of affection between you two is...still hard for him to wrap his head around. It seems to be your fault. If you weren’t so pitifully earnest toward him he would have just gotten rid of you. You were aware of his true nature, and definitely scared of it, but you kept going out of your way to be the Good Roommate™, to play friends. He had to let you live, just to see what the fuck your deal is. Now it’s too late. Now he wants you around.
You are the only person in the world that he has shown his real body to.
Some of his victims have seen it, but you’re the first person he intended to see it. The decision was quiet, perhaps a little impulsive. A simple exchange of “What are you, Sasha?” and “I don’t know. Wanna see?” had you both going to your bedroom and locking the door.
For the first time in his life, his heart pounded as he shed his clothes. He almost didn’t want you to turn around and look. It might be better if you only knew the carefully curated version of him, the handsome appearance he painstakingly crafted for the easiest social life. Even though you already knew he wasn’t human and pretended it didn’t matter, what if you saw him now and knew with absolute certainty that you didn’t want to look at him ever again? He would have to swallow you whole. He wasn’t sure if he could do it.
Regardless he said, “turn around.”
He showed you the unvarnished form that he had inherited from his mother. To be frank: It’s a predator’s body. Worse that that, it’s a monster’s. There are features and junctures of him so uncanny it must hurt the logical mind to observe them. If you were ever looking for the perfect rebuttal to the existence of a loving God, look no further than his cruel mouth.
He crept onto you bed looking like this, towering over you, your bed-frame screaming to protest the weight. He’d have to cut you off at the source, if you were to scream. And though he could smell the fear wafting from your skin, could practically feel the constricting blood vessels and tightening muscles in you, you still asked him, “Hey, is it more comfortable? Do you prefer being like this?”
Honestly? He isn’t sure there’s a body that’s comfortable and natural to him anymore. He’s so used to a human state that anything else feels awkward, even when it’s easier to shift to. As you took his massive claws into your hands and examined them with gentle curiosity, though, he was struck by the warmth of you. It was a long time since anyone had really touched him. It might’ve been even longer for you, loner that you are. Which meant you were the only person who could understand the way he felt in that moment.
He flopped over next to you, letting out an embarrassing dog-like whine, but you just laughed sweetly, and shifted pillows around to accommodate his bigger size. His feet and tail still dangled awkwardly off the bed. “You can relax in here,” you said. “You’re always welcome, since you’re my friend.”
You rambled about your classes and professors until all the adrenaline had left your system. He didn’t say much in response, but you didn’t mind. After a while, you could almost meet his preternatural gaze. You even dozed off like this, with a monster beside you, you utter weirdo. He put his head closer to your chest and felt your sleeping breaths for hours, thinking that your throat would be butter-soft under his teeth.
Sasha knows very little about what he really wants. He’s not sure if he’ll stay in his major, or in school, or even in human society. He knows for certain, though, that he wants more time to study you. He wants just your quiet voice and humble body heat and the understanding that, whatever he is, it isn’t going to chase you away.
So you two keep doing this. Every few days he’ll skulk over to where you are and make room for himself, and the two of you will talk for hours. Sometimes he shifts. He doesn’t always want to, but you get more comfortable with him that way. You...seem more keen to pet him when he looks and acts like an animal, and he wants you to touch him so bad he’s worried he’ll start asking for it. Could he ever live it down, if he started asking to be coddled? No. So he wags his tail and butts his head against you like that isn’t it’s own special brand of pathetic.
It’s not like you’re one to judge, though. You’re just so happy to have a friend that comes to hang out with you. You’ve never had very many of those, but of course Sasha knows he’s extra special. There’s much he’s learned about the world from his strange perspective, and you’re always excited to listen to his stories.
You do understand that he needs to eat a lot. You see him clear out four bacon cheeseburgers as a snack once, and he cracks jokes about how breakfast was red bull and adderall, but you know that it’s just a part of his biology that works against him. So you go out of your way to cook more meat, and give him bigger portions than anyone else, ignoring the way your blatant favoritism must look to the other roommates and occasional visitors. He doesn’t bother explaining that your idea of a big meal is like his idea of an appetizer, and he never will.
He doesn’t talk about the people he eats, either. He’s starting to think you don’t realize he does that.
(If you really don’t know, if this is the way you treat him when you don’t know, there’s no fucking way he can tell you.)
As for you, you talk about your courses and your classmates. From the way you talk around it, he’s mostly figured out the sad shape of your childhood and he decides that’s why you’re so weird and naive.
Mostly, you tell him about your hobbies, and your taste in TV shows. That’s when something in you is unlocked, revealing you to be more witty and giggly than your initial impression. It’s gratifying to know most other people don’t discover that side of you, like being the only prospector who knows where gold is. You tell him about everything you used to watch and play with your best friend, back when she had time for you. He’s a little confused by just how fervently you love things, how you start to care one day and then never, ever stop.
He never did it before, but now the two of you watch garbage TV together. (You tried to invite your best friend to join you, but to Sasha’s satisfaction, she gave you that cringing sort of smile and told you she didn’t have time.) Every Friday comes a new episode of Crater County, this schlocky supernatural police procedural, so every Thursday night you ask him to watch it with you. He’s a busy man, of course, but he’ll fit it into his schedule since he knows you so look forward to it.
This Thursday you must have forgot.
Somehow, in the early morning on Friday, you slip away without Sasha noticing. He wakes up to the honks of geese and distant cars, and the ever-present hum of electricity. As he thinks of pestering you to make ham and eggs, just to watch you get annoyed, he notices the conspicuous lack of your heartbeat.
He knows better than to doubt his hearing. But he still goes into your room across the hall to find the bed unmade and unoccupied. He almost goes to check your pillow for warmth, only stopping when he realizes it’s...stupid, to do that. He stays in the doorway for a long moment, overly-conscious of your scent. Then he goes to pace in the empty kitchen.
It hadn’t occurred to you to say goodbye to him, or leave him a portion of breakfast as you usually do, so you must have been in a hurry. Distantly, he remembers your fast food job. You probably got called to cover for someone at the last minute. Even so, shouldn’t you have said something to him? So that he wouldn’t wonder? Because he’s—
—well, you called him your friend.
It bothers him the more he thinks about it, while he showers and gets coffee and goes to class. The two of you haven’t talked since Monday and it feels weird. You always tell him when you’re going out, so what happened? Where can he even find you?
Not that he would need to find you. Sasha isn’t clingy. Clingy is his ex making alt account after alt account to pester him on instagram with stupid questions like, “are you seriously trying to ghost me you asshole?” And Sasha isn’t doing that. He hasn’t even texted you yet, because you haven’t texted him, and you always text first. If you don’t go through with the trouble of asking for him, he absolutely will not bother coming.
You haven’t sent so much as a “hey!” in the last seventeen times that he’s checked, so. Guess you guys aren’t hanging out. Whatever. It’s not like he doesn’t have stuff to do. He’s behind on several classes, a habitual skipper, and there are four other people begging him to come out tonight. He hasn’t hunted in a while so he should probably do that too.
He should go and talk to other humans, re-acquire their speech patterns and body language. He should catch himself when he makes gestures you would make, stop himself from making them. That’s why he goes to lunch with a friend group he met last month, and fits in with them seamlessly—or, almost seamlessly. No one can say he isn’t a good talker, slick as oil and quick with comebacks, but he’s a little more sensitive than usual today. While he’s in the middle of charming them he slips up and says something you would say.
“Isn’t that a Crater County reference you just made?” One girl says to him, stopping the conversation cold. “I thought you hated nerdy stuff like that.”
Sasha laughs shortly. “What? Says who?”
“Says you. You laughed at someone’s Supernatural tattoo at the party, remember?”
“It was a fucking horrendous tattoo. And I don’t like Crater Country or whatever, either, I just know some lines because my,” his throat feels like a desert, but he continues, “my roommate is obsessed with that shit.”
They brush over that thought soon enough, shifting focus to upcoming concerts, but Sasha can’t get comfortable again. He feels like he forgot how eyes work, and his are going to slip and turn reptilian in the middle of this well-populated restaurant. He’s scared his hands are going to morph into paws. In the end, he excuses himself before he can finish his meal.
Since he’s still quite hungry, Sasha decides he’ll drop by the butcher and get a few pounds of beef chuck to tide him over until dark. He’ll go to that fancy shop with all the grass-fed cruelty-free organic stuff, because he’s passionate about the well-fare of livestock, and definitely not because it’s just down the street from your job.
But since he’s there, anyway, he’ll pass by and peek through the windows to see what’s happening there.
Your restaurant is packed. A sports team, or special event or something, has filled every table in sight, and more people queue up at the register. You’re boxing fries and passing them over to waiting customers’ trays. Even though you’ve got mountains of food to work through, you’re smiling. It takes only a few seconds to find out why, following the arc of your eye up to a man in the same uniform as you.
The guy is tall and average-looking, and he keeps leaning toward you to talk like he doesn’t know how to speak loudly even though he works in a goddamn kitchen. Sasha doesn’t know him by face, or by word of mouth, since you’ve never told him about a co-worker that can make you giggle so much.
Why hadn’t you told Sasha about the funniest man of the century, huh?
More importantly, why hadn’t you noticed the way this asshole was looking at you? Staring so intently, exaggerating his expressions, mirroring you. All the same tricks Sasha has used before but with none of the grace, and yet somehow you liked it from this guy when Sasha had seemed scary to you.
He just can’t understand. That wouldn’t be such a problem if he hadn’t believed that he did understand you, and the way your mind worked. You had said Sasha was your friend and you had sat in the truth with him, relieved to see him for what he truly was, and you had been asking after his health and his happiness, wasting nights with him, cooking for him, cuddling up with him, and now here you were forgetting about his existence with another friend that he didn’t know about.
Sasha has been cheated on by a partner in the past. They left him one night and came back in the wee hours smelling like a fresh shower, with traces of someone else’s odor still clinging to them. It hadn’t felt like anything, to know that they were sneaking behind his back. Not a betrayal, no sting or ache in the heart he supposedly had. He broke up with them a week after, and that, like all his other breakups, was simply annoying. Sasha had always felt like he wasn’t with any of the people he was with. He was watching them, and touching them, and living among them, but there was some kind of invisible barrier between him and all the world. So when they broke a connection, well, what was there to even break? How could he care?
And why did being cheated on come to mind when he saw you happy with some other guy?
Sasha would later find out that you pulled a twelve hour shift that day, and, pushover that you were, you didn’t take a break long enough to check your phone. But he doesn’t stay to watch you, he really couldn’t. A pit had formed in his stomach, some void, some black hole that he had to attend to.
He leaves you there in your job and your apparent fun, none the wiser, and goes to the butcher. He gets himself a rack of ribs, and a few pounds of steak, and a heart just because the shop had one on hand and they were happy to serve a customer with such deep pockets as him. He gets a couple of cheeseburgers for the ride home and finishes them in a few bites.
As soon as he knows your other roommates aren’t home, he tears into the paper packaging of the prepared meats and gorges himself over the kitchen sink, soiling his shirt with myoglobin. It all tastes like ash, disappearing into him the way so many things do. When he’s done, when every last shred of flesh and sliver of bone has been swallowed, his stomach growls.
He’s always been this empty. Maybe that was the thing you saw that made you so afraid upon first meeting him—the bottomless trench that he actually was.
You said he was your friend. You knew what he was and didn’t back away. But you have so little else in your life. If you gained anything more, real friends, real family, a lover, wouldn’t someone as hollow and alien as Sasha be easily discarded?
There’s nothing for it. He has to go and hunt now.
Your co-worker is pitifully easy to discover. By checking the likes on your posts, he finds the creep has been hounding you for three weeks now. His unmitigated social media addiction leaves the entirety of his existence splatter across the internet. Sasha learns and forgets his name. He knows exactly what place he’ll be at tonight, with whom, for how long. He shifts to look exactly like you, heads out and stops at the right street corner with a bulky gym bag, waiting.
It’s so easy. Sasha can play You, but this guy hardly deserves all that effort. It’s enough to show up magically with your face, even if your clothes and piercings seem out of place. All Sasha has to do is bat lashes and flash a smile that he has already memorized—your stupid sincere grin that had made you, like the sun, difficult to look at directly—and this idiot thinks the person in front of him is really you, out on the same night by coincidence. He’s happy to see you, and happier still that you want to go somewhere together. He lets Sasha take him by the hand, convinced that the two of you are going out for drinks through innocuously empty backstreets. It doesn’t strike him as weird that you’re so energetic and flirty all of a sudden. Asshole.
He at least has the decency to carry the bag, no doubt hoping to come off as a gentleman.
“Why a duffel bag, anyway?” He marvels.
“To change clothes before I go home, silly,” Sasha tells him, leading him further into the night.
It turns out the co-worker is deeply uncomfortable with silence. He cracks jokes that aren’t funny, to which Sasha politely chuckles for what is only ten minutes but feels like an hour.
“When you kept turning me down,” he says, predictably, “I was worried you had a boyfriend or something.”
“Why would I not tell you if I had a boyfriend?” Sasha croons in your voice, fighting with all his will-power to not crush your co-worker’s hand. They’re finally on a quiet street, between two condemned houses, where there are no cameras and no pedestrians.
“Haha, I don’t know. You’re like, really private. That roommate you talk about all the time? The one going to the same school? I honestly feel like I know more about her than I know about you.”
“You mean, ‘him’? Sasha?” Sasha blinks owlishly with your eyes, his heart melting a little when he imagines you gushing about him to other people.
The guy laughs nervously. “No, I mean Maya. Is Sasha another roommate? Have you mentioned her before?”
Really. Maya. That “best friend” who basically pretends you don’t exist, who takes up valuable real estate in your mind when some people who have spent months getting to know you don’t even get a text.
Sasha gives up on looking friendly.
Your co-worker has finally sensed something is off, wincing as he tugs his hand out of Sasha’s vice-grip. Stretching out his fingers, he asks, “Hey, how much farther ‘til we get there? I swear we’ve passed like, three bars already...”
He doesn’t get to say more because Sasha lets out his teeth and goes for the throat.
It must be said that a warm meal always beats a cold one, but other that that it’s a shitty fare, gristly and lacking in flavor. This guy’s blood, fresh from the veins, is flat and forgettable. Even the marrow of his bones disappoints. At least he didn’t put up a fight...though maybe some enrichment could have saved this boring dinner.
Sasha feels more bloated than full when it’s all over. He wipes down and changes into fresh clothes, stuffing all the bloody garments into the duffel bag. He still feels kinda gross, and considers a long, hot shower while picking muscle fibers from between his teeth.
Are you going to worry about your co-worker? Are you going to miss him? Will you cry if they identify his blood on clothes found in the dump? Will you even tell Sasha why you’re crying?
Sasha snaps out of his deep thoughts when his phone buzzes. The text from you reads:
hey! i forgot to ask, are you on for crater county tonight?
What the fuck. Renewed frustration flushes through his system. What is he, your backup plan? He has a life—actually, many more lives than you! You should know better than to screw around with his time. He shouldn’t even dignify your bullshit with a response, but he does anyway—
At a party
And your answer is,
oh ok
we’ll watch it some other time
have fun!
…
Stay safe ok! Call me if you need something
It’s such a low blow he has to wonder if you’re doing it on purpose: you’re telling him all the same things he’s heard you tell Maya when she blows you off. He can hear the disappointment and embarrassment in your voice, the way you assure her of your eternal affection and concern while she practically dismisses you. Once he’s imagining your face, then, all he wants in the world is to look at it.
He’s a good runner. He’s barely out of breath when he arrives home, tossing aside his sweaty hoodie and kicking off his shoes while he quietly closes the door behind him. The dishwasher is running. He can just make out the low moan of the central air system, and one lazy heart thumping in the living room.
For a moment you don’t notice that Sasha is there. He gets to watch you quietly. You’re languishing on the couch in your bedclothes, staring blankly at the No Signal screen on the TV with a bowl of popcorn untouched on the coffee table. It surprises him. He hasn’t seen you with an expression this dull in a while.
But it disappears in an instant.
“Sasha!” You bolt upright, your face brightening like the sky at dawn when you find him standing in the doorway. “Did the party end already?”
He doesn’t know what to say.
You glance back at the TV. “Um, I swear I wasn’t going to watch without you! I was just…”
“Were you waiting for me?” He asks.
Your expression flickers, betraying the anxiety in your eyes before you have the chance to look away. Why did he even bother to ask? You’re here for him, like a puppy waiting for their owner, and suddenly he’s flushed and queasy—no, it’s not sickness that he feels, it’s butterflies. He’s so delighted he feels dumb, all of his frustration and embarrassing angst vanishing in an instant because all he can think of is how sweet you are.
“Ah,” he laughs dryly. “I’m screwed.”
Before you even know to cry out, he’s thrown himself at you, arms coiling around your waist. The two of you fall back on the couch.
When you get your bearings, you scold him. “Sasha, don’t just do that! You scared me!”
He mumbles, “I had a bad day.”
“...you did?” Your left hand cups his head, almost protectively, and your right strokes his back. “What happened? You’re not hurt, right? Are you hungry? I have some stuff in the fridge—”
“Can we just stay like this?” He asks.
“U-um. Well...” You must be thinking of your other roommates, who could walk in on this scene and “misunderstand” the relationship you have with him. You don’t want to cause weird rumors or tension. But he wants you so much he can’t pretend to be above it anymore. He squeezes you just a little bit, betraying his own desperation, so you say tenderly, “Of course we can.”
It’s scary to be honest. Sasha considers it contrary to his nature. However, he has never in his life avoided adapting or transforming to get what he wants. If he has to bare himself again to endear himself to you, he’ll do it.
“You’re the best friend I have,” he admits, “and I didn’t see you all day, and I missed you.”
Your heart quickens. “Sasha…”
“I know I’m being clingy. I just can’t help it. Say you missed me too. Say I matter to you.”
“I did miss you,” you murmur, your smile bleeding into your voice. You pull him closer. “It feels wrong when we don’t talk all day. And I worry about you, you know. I never see you make a proper meal.”
“I like it better when you make it. So keep cooking for me. Please.”
“I was going to do that anyway,” you say.
His whole body thrums with satisfaction. You care about him so much he can feel it all the way through. He’s soaking up your warmth and savoring your smell, face pressed into your neck. Twisting his hands into your shirt, he finds that he resents your clothes. He even resents your flesh and bones for barring direct access to your heart. Right now, though, he’s almost content with a body in his grasp, a pulse fluttering under his lips.
God help him, he’s been starving for this.
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ZZZ Lighter Story Quest and M6 Leaks!! Tho it's only a couple days from his release so idk, still tagging leaks tho
So in both of these official arts of him in current times, he has this bracer on his left shoulder, and you can see more on his arm as well, something he didn't have in the past seen in his official story art, back when he was in the arena.
That is also the side he stretches in his trailer, they take a moment to show him being bothered by it enough to do something about it
And in his weapon information about his gauntlet, it says this
"They originally planned to give me a pair," and that things didn't go as planned, so he only has one.
I'm guessing that some time after he joined the Sons he injured his left arm/shoulder enough for him to not be able to use a second gauntlet with it. Obviously, it's well enough now that he can pummel people with it, but he's still wearing what I'm assuming are bracers.
It could be armor of some sort, but the placement is weird, mainly on his arm and elbow area, and he only has it on one side, the side without his gauntlet, which probably would need more protection seeing as it's basically launching his fist forward with an engine. Yes, he has a bandage around that forearm, but those are more temporary compared to something he probably wears every day.
And in that second image, he has his jacket and shirt off, but for some reason not that specific padding. If he was truly relaxed enough to basically undress, wouldn't he also take that part off if it was some kind of body armor??
Sorry for rambling a bit about this, I just like whump
#off topic but everyone from the Sons pitched in for his gauntlet#they're so found family I love them so much#zzz leaks#zzz#zzzero#zenless zone zero#zzz lighter#lighter lorenz
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Post-vacation clarity in the form of... word vomit? Sure!
First: so very lucky. So very fortunate. Grateful. That I FINALLY got to cross off a bucket-list vacation and see some massive trees and beautiful mountains. Everything I could have imagined! And it's definitely worthy of a re-visit, once time has passed and I've recovered financially.
Second: I'm so amused that my slight trepidation regarding the potential for "culture shock" was unwarranted. See, if you're a rather unsocial midwesterner schooled in the ways of "Minnesota Nice" aka Advanced Passive Aggression, you might be worried about venturing into more direct/easygoing/outgoing cultures. I was delighted to take a vacation from blatant pettiness and passive aggression during my time out west. And honestly? I miss it. San Francisco was pretty agreeable, all things considered, and I will make a point to revisit.
Third: I loved taking the train! And at the same time, I'm heartbroken for the way passenger trains have to operate in this shithole country. Please. I just want so many trains. At all hours, in every direction. And, if it's NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE, for assholes to not drag enormous tractor tires onto the tracks. (Fuck you, Utah.)
In conclusion: I'm so happy I went, and now I have to go through my photos while I reluctantly pick up where I left off here. And yes, California, if I can, I absolutely will be back. Thanks for having us.
#April rambles#like I knew I would have a blast but DAMN#it's been a while since I've been genuinely awed by time spent on vacation#and it's a problem because i can feel myself itching to go back#I know it sounds stupid but I'm grateful for how easy it is to interact with other people when in CA#I know it's because you get a lot of tourists but STILL#it was so nice to leave the midwestern bullshit behind FOR ONCE#ohhhhh and the food and the coffee and the scenery aaaaaaa!!!#I know I'm easily impressed so what?#on one hand minnesota is home there's no question about that#but it's nice to know I have a place elsewhere that I will love to visit now and again#amtrak i'm sorry they massacred you#I will ride you again it's not your fault things suck#maybe out to glacier next year?!?!?!#sorry i'm rambling in the tags it's what I do#i just have so MANY strong FEELINGS#psssst Wyrd I will have to visit you next time!!!
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Manager and their Knight.
#sorry i dressed up the manager again. in frills this time#I haven't done Dante's fire in a while so I'm a tad out of practice#whoever made that post going like 'get weird abt smth and ur art gets better' was correct. I still have no clue how I did this#anyways I rarely see this ship but its cute and I like it. so#genuinely what was I on doing those dress folds and how so I do it again#the rendering was super fun [until it wasn't] esp with the frills#gonna treat myself to some tea. hehehe#I think thats all I have to ramble on about so#normal tags:#art#k draws art stuff#digital art#original art#fanart#limbus company#dante lcb#don quixote lcb#DonDan#🎠⏰
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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Trying some stuff out cuz I always wanted to get work like these. If you got tips!!! Please. Please share.
#in stars and time#isat#isat fanart#isat loop#isat siffrin#if it looks like they're dancing congrats you got what i wanted to do!!!#something something loop is the north star#doesn't dancing have a thing about trusting your partner as they guide you?#specially if you don't know how to dance?#I don't think Sif knows...#should I ramble on the tags or is that cringe? sorry if it is#idk#i'm new to tumblr#kinda#PippoSketchDump
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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got bored, nekoma ship wheel + sexuality hcs (explanations under cut along with empty templates in case anyone wants them)
FUKUTORA TIER
This is self-explainatory. They're basically 90% of my account. If you go to the fukutora tag its just me talking to myself because no one else has posted in it since 2022
LOVE
Kuroken - I have specific opinions on Kuroken because I'm a fan of unrequited Kenhina in highschool. Don't get me wrong, I still like how most of the fandom portrays them, but I much prefer them getting together after the timeskip when everyone's settled into their new jobs. I also really like it queerplatonic, as much or even more than romantic.
Inushiba- Idk man they're just silly, no deeper reasoning. Funny guys doing funny things with a cute height difference
LIKE
Kuroyaku/Levyaku - Honestly I like these two about equally, i think they're both shitpost-able and that's my top priority for a ship. My gf likes Levyaku so i lean towards them but i've seen some good Kuroyaku art too so i can be won over. I'm a firm believer that Kuroo and Yaku were each other's first kiss
Fukutoraken - I think Kenma being a serial third-wheel is infinitely funnier but i dont mind it, as long as fukutora aren't separated i'm chilling. Kenma getting dragged along despite not being part of the relationship is my ideal for them tho, also i think Kenma being Tora's unwilling wingman/the recipient of his sexuality crisis rambles is hillarious
Anything else i'm neutral on or haven't heard of
#i only included the stuff i've seen so if I left out some rarepair that you're obsessed with feel free to preach it to me#my ears are opened to most dynamics expect any ship that separates fukutora because they're my everything#thinking about them with anyone but each other makes me an evil bitter person i'm sorry#aside from them if the art/writing/analysis post is good enough i can have fun with most things#my other favorite hq ship is tsukkiyama btw they're my ogs#I may not know what to do with the first year sexualities but i DO know that they're all queer#because the ONLY cishet character in all of haikyuu is tanaka#nekoma#haikyuu#haikyuu headcanons#ant's rambling tag woo#this is technically my art but i don't think she deserves the tag
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i got really bored it's almost 8 am i haven't slept so take this autism adhd gift guide i made since i keep seeing them around
#ramblings#pokemon#espeon#volo#gnosia#fear and hunger#funger#f&h#machine girl#??????? what else do i tag it's . like. what#demon core#elephant's foot#synth v#synthesizer v#clip studio#clip studio paint#cicada 3301#sorry i'm just throwing everything into the tags#it's been a long night
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happy halloween. i'm thinking about the tobecky pumpkin rn 😕
#pbs kids i need ya'll to make a wordgirl jack o lantern/pumpkin carving stencil#i was so shocked to find out there isn't one#i need one with ruff ruffman too 😔🙏🏼#at least they should've given a stencil of the wordgirl costume symbol thingy (whatver that's called 😭)#wordgirl pumpkin is a need#or tobecky or any other ship idk let us have our pumpkins ‼️‼️‼️#yknow what would also rock? a stencil of this exa--#quick. i need an artist to do this.#(not me. i'm suddenly not an artist anymore 😻 /j)#...sorry i got talkative in the tags. i have a lot to say because i was looking for a wg pumpkin stencil 😭😭#sal speaks#text post#wordgirl#tobecky#becky botsford#tobey mccallister iii#halloween#ramble tag
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Erm!! I did more art!!!!!! My art style is so inconsistent I want to draw more realistically but I'm goofy goober at my core....... Gehahahaha
Also???? Pony Error under cut??????? (and a few error sketches!) Hidden slightly because I'm still a bit unsure about the design RAHH
I think it'd be cool if he had strings all over his body like he was some mangled stupid hasbro official pony plushie...... but the strings were like insanely last minute LMAO so I want to redo it again with that in mind.... when the pony takes me over again.
Transcript for Pony Info (because my handwriting is a bit messy)
PONY INFO!
Strings run along entire body
Used to have a cutie mark, but the file is "lost"
Horn sparks & glitches dangerously when using magic
-> Not harmful to him, but strong emotions can cause it to flare up (basically when the horn starts fuzzing a lot you know he's close to a full-on reboot)
Whatever the hell this thing is core -> (pic of very stupid looking Hasbro official Princess Twilight Sparkle plushie with brushable hair!!!! Batteries not included)
↓ WARNING!!! STUPID IDIOT BELOW!!!!!!! 🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️☢️☢️☢️☢️☢️☢️☢️☢️☢️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 ↓
#utmv#swapdream#swad sans#swapdream dream#swan sans#swapdream nightmare#error sans#gamers err.... they're really stupid!!!#I hate them so much!!!! (LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE i love them actually with all my being)#I have no idea what I'm doing I'm not used to tumblr editor#I want to make my page look cooler..... maybe 2010s theme..... can i do that perhaps?#Stupid idiots!!!! Sorry my demons#I should probably make an intro post too but idk what to say.... other than “helo i like erm. Undertale! I like..... pretty much only UTMV!#This is mostly a lie I like other things but I'm only going to be posting UTMV mainly#Sigh getting off track anyways!!!!! Idiots!!! I hate them!#Swad he's so prim and proper and completely obnoxious#I feel like with him being completely manic 24/7 he wouldn't take care of himself very well#Like if it weren't for the self healing thing he would look absolutely terrible. Rotting teeth cracked bones etc etc and he would not care#He would still prance around in fields of daisies tho he is literally too hyped up#I feel like he would chase Swan like until his body physically could take no more#One sec he's approaching at full speed and the next he shuts down completely & collapses just because his body literally ran out of juice#Error is striving for that hobocore aesthetic he will not change his clothes ever he constantly repairs the same ones#I also feel like Error would be like. insanely stinky (PEE-YEW!)#Water doesn't interact well with his body so he avoids it best he can#he can only take sponge baths for hygiene and even that is like insanely prickly for him.... Feels like pins and needles sizzling on his bo#Sighs that's it for me gamers!!!!!! Ramble in the tags over#Swad OUTTT!!!! *bursts through ceiling leaving swad shaped hole in your roof*
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hey!! can i ask for a color palatte description for the ro's? like what their hair/eye colors are?
hope you're having a good week 💙💙💙
Hi!
I spent a long time putting together a graphic for this before I realised that you asked for just a description haha... oops. well. here is the graphic anyway XD
If you're looking for a link to the page with more general descriptions, there are some on the RO's page.
Very sorry for the delay in replying! My life is. hectic. smdnfgbsfgf
#what does the chaos mirror see#twyliit#if you want to use these i'd recommend zooming in because some of them have detailing but unfortunately tumblr seems to have destroyed it#or at least hidden some of it in ensmallening#it was very difficult to find a shining silvery enough colour for suchebh's hair and eyes#and i regret i could not find an eye colour for twilit that captured the necessary distressing pastel neon toothpaste vibe i was seeking#i am not an artiste i'm afraid. i wish i could do proper ones of these with. undertones as such#but alas#also just rambling in the tags here for a bit but. i got an ask this morning accusing the game of being a scam#because it hasn't updated for ages#and like bro. scam... it's not like i took preorders msnbgsmdnfgb. i have to Laugh#once again deeply sorry to the small number of people concerned with how much my homelessness was an inconvenience For Them<3#finally got my life somewhat back on track after months of teetering on the edge of the abyss (rude of me not to spend it all writing)#but in service of getting my life back on track i'm studying. so that i can get a job later and continue to survive. again. Selfish. oops#and then my beloved cat died. and there just. isn't anything to keep going for anymore LMAO#but alas. so long as the music plays. we dance#and this game is part of the dancing for me. i guess. i still work on things when i have the time#hopefully you'll recover from my terrible circumstances<3
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So, Vanyar are the good guys, right?
The boring, faultless Elves?
...except that part where Ingwë (that's the Vanyar king, right? I tend to mistake him with the Teleri one) plays matchmaker so that his sister could marry Finwë despite the fact that Finwë has a wife (who is dead but anyway) and we all know how it ended.
Seriously. In one of the alternate tellings of the story, he knows Indis loves Fnwë, he invites Finwë for a visit and tells Indis to go sing on (the mountain? a balcony? anyway somewhere) and Finwë falls in love and this looks very much planned.
Which is just
just
it was even before the Valar said that Finwë can divorce, that this is even a possibility.
Since I learned about that I have a strong hc that many Vanyar are very "letter of the law", "if it's not forbidden, it is ok" kind of persons, while simultanously blaming the Teleri for not going to Aman fast enough and the Noldor for leaving (I'm not even talking murder, just leaving would be enough) and if they got whatever terrible order signed by the Valar, they would do it without question.
#silm#silmarillion#tolkien legendarium#the silmarillion#the silm#tolkien headcanons#vanyar#ingwe#also I'm pretty sure that if after the War of Wrath#instead of being told “stay at Tol Eressea and look sorry”#the returning Noldor would be celebrated in any way#then the Vanyar would throw SUCH A DRAMA about it#but ofc no sane Ainu would do something like this#so no need to make drama#the ex-exiled Noldor were sent to Tol Eressea#the Vanyar were celebrated and what not#Finarfin was awkward#but at least the war was over#also idk why but I hc Pengolodh as very similar kind of guy#ok maybe I know why#because of the things he wrote#or at least copied from Rumil?#is there a canon about which ethnicity was Rumil? probably a Noldo but idk#also Finrod is part-Vanya but he is totally not Like That#I'm not sure about others#Finrod is random and insane at times but he's not this kind of jerk I assume#yea let's mention Finrod in every post#I like him#rambling in tags
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Bagel, please, I must see more sillies. Would you ever possibly draw more perfectdolls? (Totally hope I do not sound insane or rude, I just love the cute little drawings you've shared so far!)
hbskjbn?? this is so incredibly nice what???? vjhkskh?????
i am definitely not an artist, but i am so beyond flattered??? huh?????
throws perfectdolls at you
the sillies :D
also here's some ocean/jane too :)
this one is technically fanart for the fic no one deserves to be alone by beepsinquestion (please go read that entire series, it's so good)
i don't really know how to draw jane, but an attempt was made :'D
thank you so much for the ask??? i'm gonna go cry now maybe???? /pos /hj
have a wonderful day :D
#i speedran drawing these tonight for you anon#i got this ask and i was like bdhjksdsdh#i can't just leave you hanging#it's half past midnight now lol#i hope these bad doodles satisfy you :D#i will reiterate once more: i am definitely not an artist#these drawings are incredibly messy and all over the place#the anatomy is awful lol#i just drew these because. perfectdolls makes me happy#also please ignore how every time i draw ocean's hair it looks drastically different. i don't know what i'm doing#sorry i'm rambling in the tags again lol#ride the cyclone#rtc#my art#ocean o'connell rosenberg#penny lamb#jane doe rtc#perfectdolls#speaking to the people
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MARTYN'S EXPRESSION GETS ME. litlerally live slug reaction.
#commentary tags at the bottom ↓ ↓ ↓#martyn littlewood#third life#3rd life#third life smp#bigbstatz#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#trafficshipping#bigb x jimmy#hole husbands#//#if u can't tell. i've been watching martyn's 3l pov. bc i know nothing abt 3l i need to deepdive the lore#btw. what is bigb and jimmy's shipname. i don't know. i'm going to make some up until one of them's right probably#/#solidaritystatz#bigbsolidarity#solidaritatz#biggaming#gamingstatz#///#one of them is close enough probably. anyway#headcanon bigb was SUPPOSED to be the canary. but it ended up being jimmy instead.#something something i love you enough to take this burden from you and you will never even know i saved you. what i saved you from.#that it was never meant to be me but i would never let it be you.#i CANNOT ramble about these horrendously angsty implications under the live slug reaction martyn post. i CAN'T#tldr great shipping potential. sorry for all the bigb ship propaganda it's his fault for being so handsome and shippable#wheres the bigb enthusast mutual. u and me out here doing god's work amen
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hey when they wrote "knight behind bars" and they wrote kitt helping a couple get together and they gave him the line "Some day, it will be my turn" [to find love]. did they know what they were doing. did they know that in some 40 years some gay autistic robot-obsessed little freak on tumblr would not stop thinking about it for weeks and write literal dozens of paragraphs screaming about it on discord. did they know they were going to ruin Me, Specifically, with this concept that feels like the culmination of everything kitt has gone through through the show and such a fascinating thing to think about in regards to michael and kitt's relationship,
one of the themes of knight rider is kitt developing as a Person, developing a line between the Knight Industries Two-Thousand, and Kitt. discovering humanity, his own emotions, the joys of the seemingly and logically pointless, and often through the lens of his own driver, his partner, his friend, Michael - his primary guide through all these experiences, his reference for those human things he doesn't understand. and as much as he initially claims to not be capable of experiencing emotions, of understanding feelings, he learns to. he experiences a wide range of emotions through the show even while claiming he doesn't, he even learns fear and insecurity. perhaps it's only natural a robot would learn to love, or at the very least be terribly curious about it and wonder if such a thing could ever exist for Him
the majority of people are not exactly kind to kitt. they talk about him like he's not there, they talk about him like he's a machine, a novelty, some people are even scared of or disturbed by him when all he's trying to do is make polite conversation and company. he's always Othered - there's no other cars like him (at least not anymore), but there's no other person like him either, he doesn't truly belong among humans or vehicles. some of the technicians at FLAG don't even seem to fully respect him as a person, at least they don't based on my vague recollection of how they talk about him in Junkyard Dog. when Michael asks him after KARR is destroyed if it feels good to be one of a kind again, he doesn't say yes or no - he only says it's a "familiar feeling." it may be familiar, but it's surely also isolating, and i think that's something he'd realize as he slowly picks up this curiosity about love. where could he even find it when so few people see him as an equal person to begin with?
and then there's michael. oh my god, and then there's michael. no matter what flavor you choose to read it in, the whole show is about their relationship, they're a duo, a set Not to be separated, they're Partners. they work together, they worry about and look after each other (forever insane about when kitt was a melted shell, Michael stuck around the garage for hours, waiting for any news like a worried spouse, constantly checking on him every opportunity he got... encouraging him to recover, and even helping paint back on his protective coating... kitt always looks after michael, but for once, it's michael's turn to look after Him), in a way they were Made for each other - Kitt more literally, being programmed for Michael and holding his namesake, but Michael was also made in a sense for the pilot program, hand picked and given a second life to work for the foundation and with this strange supercar. and even if they had a rocky start, michael comes to view kitt as a person - car, TV set, or computer core, Kitt is his partner, his buddy. he helps him find himself, guides him and teaches him about these things that make us human, and in a way, kitt becomes human - but his entire experience is still through the perspective of an AI in a car, it's still very unique and isolating, and I think he sort of grows into his own limitations, he's finally brushing against the walls that define him.
he learns of love, and then he learns to dream Of love. these things he sees in the movies, that michael tells him about, that he so often sees michael Partaking in that he gets so oddly jealous of, doesn't it all seem so wonderful? he's very curious. but who could ever love steel and circuitry, who could ever see him as an equal let alone a partner in a romantic sense? who would ever love a car and all the limitations That comes with? it's a problem for a hypothetical hopeful Some Day, in the meantime stuck between two worlds where he doesn't perfectly belong to either, where no car Can love him and no human seemingly Would love him...
and michael loves him anyway. before either of them really realize or talk about it, in spite of everything, in any form, regardless of the fact it wouldn't be a typical relationship by absolutely any means, michael loves him anyway. kitt is as much a person to him as bonnie or devon or RC, and that person is someone he loves and cares for deeply. the feeling is mutual, kitt's world revolves around michael, he's one of the most important people in kitt's life, and he'd do anything to protect him.
and it is michael that will finally teach him to love, and what it means to feel loved in turn, to be loved as the person he undoubtedly is.
#liz blogs#kr#knight rider#michael knight#kitt#robots#gay#this isnt writing. its rambling. its very insane rambling.#WHAT is the ship tag. i dont even know. fuck it we ball#michael x kitt#sure#knight rider spoilers#i saw someone make up a really good one but i cant remember what it was-- oh my god was it MK2000. was it. was that iT-#mk2000#retroactively gonna go tag all the fruity posts with that i dont care#do not even get me started on michael learning to love for the first time in This lifetime. ... literally dont get me started i havent seen#the last stevie episode yet. thats next weeks crying fit. but i feel like that's a piece i need#but stevie was michael Long's girl. part of His life. michael Knight can't go back to that. and maybe he Shouldn't#listen. its about michael teaching kitt to love. and kitt Letting him learn to love Again. something real besides his weekend flings#i need a lobotomyyyyyyy i need an ice pick to the brain i need to stop being completely fucking insane about robots#IF BEING INSANE ABOUT FICTIONAL ROBOTS WAS A JOB I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE#anyway michael is bisexual and a dashboard smoocher thanks for coming to my ted talk#homosexuality is rampant in the military jerry. thats a bisexual if ever i saw one. have you seen the way he dresses. he calls his car baby#if you dont watch knight rider and you read this i'm sorry i must look deranged#this ship is queer flavored even besides the fact its two guys. there's like four levels of queer flavoring in this bitch
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