#sorry i keep drawing them i cant stop i cannot stop

[lesbokyoko]

Working til late cleaning has its perks

[xxplastic-cubexx]

If i think of horrendous inappropriate things about magneto tonight no i didnt

[b0mblover]

Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.

By: J

major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention

uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.

uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.

talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!

i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.

hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭

(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)

——————————

yknow,

you havent been a great person

or a good one even.

yet you still question as to why i dont love you

or like you,

maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.

maybe not

i dont really care about your feelings.

at all.

not now.

i put up with this for fucking 14 years.

my entire fucking life.

ive put up with your shit.

but now?

now im done.

you have no idea how badly you fucked up.

when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up” 

yknow.

he mightve not been right for what he did.

but,

it was just a mistake.

it was a goddamn mistake.

you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?

how many times ive repeated them?

how many times i fucking meant it?

just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.

you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.

dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”

bullshit.

bullshit you dont.

you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!

you had a goddamn kid

you had two goddamn children.

with this man that you fucking DESPISE.

you knew it back then too.

you told me you did.

you fucking told me.

almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.

nothing.

you have no right to act like that.

no.

you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.

for such a simple mistake.

i dont care if he talked about it since friday.

i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.

you.

you as a goddamn human.

have no right.

none.

in the slighest.

to hit another living being.

for talking about something in your eyes “too much”

or making a mistake.

youre a hypocrite.

need i remind you?

you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.

that youd be a better person.

stop the fights.

stop the beatings.

stop all of it.

and everything would be okay!

.

i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.

youre a liar.

just how you said i was.

you didnt quit.

you didnt stop.

hell two months after you hit him again!

you threatened to kill him and yourself!

cmon.

dont you get it yet?

i fucking despise you.

maybe to a degree i feel shocked.

but.

i really dont think thats it.

youre the root of my problems.

every single last fucking one.

——————

need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?

.

need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?

.

need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?

.

need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?

.

need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?

.

need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?

.

need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?

.

need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?

.

need i remind you of what i seen?

.

need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?

.

need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?

.

i dont care about your feelings anymore.

i gave up years ago.

but now.

i dont feel just numb for you.

i hate you.

in every sense of the word.

.

i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.

.

i dont care about what you think of my appearance.

.

i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.

.

i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.

.

you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.

you yelled at me.

no.

you fucking screamed at me for weeks.

im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.

i dont give a fuck about you.

and yknow?

if.

no.

if it would work.

if it was possible.

id fucking kill you.

id stab you.

right here.

right now.

to end my suffering.

to end his suffering.

all of it.

id end it all.

i dont care if its wrong.

because i know no one else knows about whats going on.

yknow.

only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.

and i havent even met her in person.

yknow.

the people i used to be close with from school.

only just learned you had an affair.

i know that.

the police are do-less.

since you know them.

and hes a man.

not a woman.

it wouldnt be taken seriously.

that he should just fight back.

yknow.

youve ruined what life he has left.

his parents beat him.

his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.

and here.

youve done the exact same thing.

yknow.

he’ll never get to see how love truely is.

because of you.

because of what youve done.

i cant say i really like him either.

but.

that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.

.

yknow whats worse?

how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.

is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.

i know i joke about that night.

but.

really.

hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.

its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years. 

and even now.

if you were to as so much to touch me.

while in a fight.

id do it all over again.

you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.

but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.

i wont forgive you for what youve done.

even if he will.

.

i want nothing to do with you.

get out of my life for good.

[edenvinity]

ranking the f1 driver pairings as amazing race teams

me and my family have been watching amazing race for years so you KNOW i had to combine my interests !!!

amazing race is basically a show where teams of two race all around the world and preform a series of challenges rhat can range from physical to more mental, and the team that reaches the “pit stop” last is eliminated. plane flights + transportation around the country is also often up to the teams, having to buy their own plane tickets + hailing their own taxis + driving themselves around a country which works against one team dominance

KEY:

detour - teams can choose to complete one of two challenges

roadblock - one person in the team completes a challenge (one person cannot do every roadblock)

express pass - by doing an extra challenge, one team can get this pass that allows them to skip any one challenge

teams are ranked based on how far i think they would make it in a fictional all-f1 season of amazing race :)

10. pierre & esteban

sorry you KNOW they would be a dumpster fire. like the couples who go on and are like “i love my partner so much :))” and then immediately implode the second aomething goes wrong. would start off polite enough before the first detour where one of them is like mildly slow and the bickering starts. they would start rushing in an attempt to catch up and leave an important item behind (passports, clue, etc) and thats just the nail in the coffin for them

9. lance & fernando

tbh i could see them making it maybe 1 or 2 legs more depending on the challenge but. nothing against lance but hes a rich kid. the challenge would be like “find all the items on this shopping list at a wet market” and hes LOST. fernando gets 3/4 of the list AND has to find lance who is desperately looking for duck eggs (it was at the first stall) and then they get back and lance bought regular eggs anyways for a massively jacked up price. sorry but as entertaining as it would be they are doomed to flop

8. alex & logan

SORRY WILLIAMS BESTIES they would be such a silly team and fan favorites but respectfully i dont see them being very good 🥲 i think they would have a very good dynamic but other then that based on the pumpkin carving/drawing challenges,,,, they would not go far 😭 they would get a challenge to deliver something to several different locations (without map) and eventually get lost and be so far behind that when they get to the mat its like. nighttime. but they would be very cheesed and happy still !!

7. yuki & daniel

THE FUNNIEST PAIR EVER can you IMAGINE the dynamic when trying to navigate or drive a stick shift car. one of the friendlier pairs, willing to help point other teams in the right direction at challenges. also between the two of them they have a pretty decent skill set so i think theyd do pretty well at the challenges, plus be able to get around the city well enough. theyd eventually go out on a leg w more physical challenges just by virtue of the remaining teams being better but they have SO MUCH FUN and SO MUCH banter

6. kevin & nico

solid guys overall !! could see them maybe making it another leg further over the next team. definitely one of the most chill teams, sightseeing/enjoying the travels more (not to say that they arent competitive tho) and overall having a great time !! i think their experience with raising children would also factor in well (patience/calmness) and thus would keep them from making little mistakes and stay consistent. would eventually go out in a leg where they start from a lower spot and cant manage to find any earlier trains/flights and thus cant make up any ground and end up going out

5. lando & oscar

they are the most unstable team LMAO they (lando) always take big gambles with challenges to try and get ahead and as such always end up gaining/dropping tons of places in each leg. impeccable dynamic tho !! oscar is def the grounding force and keeps them on track, navigator to landos driver, while landos creative strategies often help them gain places where they might otherwise be stagnant. would eventually go out on a leg where lando insists on trying to catch an earlier train but ends up missing the connector to their destination (setting them back) and they cant catch up, eventually resulting in their elimination

4. valterri & zhou

i actually cant really explain this one guys its just a gut feeling. like i know that valterri is reasonably fit from biking a lot and zhou could help them get around more reliably in asian countries but other then that i dont have an explanation. theyre chill and like just kind of cruising/enjoying themselves. theres a roadblock where they have to name several different types of beer by taste and valterri crushes it. theres a challenge where its watching this person dancing and having to recreate the entire outfit that zhou kills. they go out right before the final because theyre beaten in a footrace to the mat

3. lewis & george

these guys are EFFICIENT. lewis somehow manages to get them on the earliest flights possible. george reads the map once and immediately find the fastest routes from place to place. they are reasonably good at most challenges. their downfall is challenges requiring them to work together closely, which happens in the final where they are required to learn a traditional wedding dance and preform it and they just cant sync up, costing them major time, and the entire experience just leaves them irritable which eventually leads to them claiming third

2. max & checo

similarly to lando & oscar, max is the competitive force with checo grounding their team. highly competitive (though not to say they dont enjoy themselves), always going for express passes and valuing efficiency. their strategy works for the most part, with them racking up the most leg wins. their downfall ultimately came during the final challenge, where they had to match moments from previous legs with their locations, and neither of them really remember LMAO. just barely misses out on first which goes to…

1. charles & carlos

impeccable dynamic. gets one express pass and uses it strategically. very supportive of each other during challenges. they are just a generally overall solid team but not outstanding, never really winning and just beats out valterri/zhou for the third spot in the final. but in the final leg they are just incredibly in sync which allows them to complete the challenges efficiently, and at the end challenge they have memories tied to each place and are able to figure it out faster then max/checo and beat them to the mat to take the win !!!

okay thanks for listening to my rambles ��️ maybe a part two of this later ranking old driver pairs OR an f1/survivor ranking

[melissa-titanium]

SCUG HEAD CANOSN jsutbecause iknow ill never draw them all

(warnijng. LONG ASS POST)

FOR 1. SIZE CHART BABY

monk < survivor < arti = rivulet < spearmaster = saint < hunter = gourmand!

survivor: a little on the skinny side, inbetween artificer and monk. albino i think :) if not then has sort of snow leopard patterning. small eyes, taking after their mama (i . headcanon gourmand is monk and survivors parent if this is dis proven by canon im So sorry i havent finished the game yet)) triangle shapes mostly. quiet and cautious (they used to be curious, but the world didnt allow that) and always tense, prepared for a fight. desperate to find monk :(. journey < destination. glass half empty

monk: takes more after gourmand! orange tabby coloration (+ karma flower marking on back) if that makes sense. big round eyes (sort of like how scavs with big eyes r usually friendlier) and significantly healtheri than survivor ! (i think slugcats r sort of like seals, they hv a ton of bodyweight. though they can vary, gourmand is like a little over average scug size) circular mostly (round ears, round eyes, round body etc) kind and curious, sees good in the world but above all wants to find survivor. journey > destination. glass half full.

hunter: very big slugcat, almost unnaturally so. a little skinny cause having the rot is no good for your health :( i dont have many headcanosn for hunter but ithink they have poor sight , completely blind in their canonically scarred eye which i think it was overtaken by the rot. the reason they can hold spears isbecause they have tendrils of the rot growing out of their back and wrap the spears around if that makes sense. square shapes mostly. a bit stocky, more muscle than fat. quiet, stern, and rarely takes risks. a bit lethargic from the rot eating away at them. journey < destination. glass half full

gourmand: THE best rainworld character *THE BEST* i think aboutthem alll the time ohohoo o RUBS CLAWS TOGETHER IGOT A TON OF SHIT. ok ok so basically they r THE ultimate slugcat . u guys know that one post about gourmand having the power to throw spears with the strength of a missile being shot. i cant remember if that was the exact wording but YEAH that was my exact idea of them they are incredibly inventive and smart and STRONG AS FUCK. they throw spears with *three times damage* than the average amount and that s FUCKING insane they kill so many creatures in literally one single hit man you cannot tell me that isnt Ridiculous. like no wonder they get exhausted after that?? god DAMN??? i straight up forgot what i was writing about in this post ilove gourmand too much OH RIGHT HEADCANONS . well for one they r surv and monks parent . due to ahving explored pretty much every corner of the region, they know a significant amount of rain world's history, just by piecing it together themself! very wise, emotionally. very strong morals and very strong will! they are surprisingly humble despite their incredible feats, but arent afraid to show confidence when needed. they are a friendleader forreal, they definitely know every slugcat in their colony by heart and are always there to cheer you up when u r feeling downl. good slug,best friend. knows a TON about fighting, very good at paw 2 paw combat i bet theyd spar with the little ones for fun sometimes :). already mentioned this but they r very kind and generous To a fault. a very competent leader but they do tend to take on too many responsibilities! i think they maybe stopped doing this when idk one day a scug in the colony saw them pass out from overexerting themself or some shit and then everyone started to pitch in after that. they are very grateful and a little embarazed. also when they lost monk and survivor i think the whole colony stepped up for a while to help while they were grieving (dunno if they were in the colony while losing monk and survivor, maybe losing them was what motivated them to keep pups safe IDK bare with me)) i think theyd be the eldest or second eldest of all the slugcats . they try to be fun with kids and are INCREDIBLY protective, letting no threat get within 100 feet of someone they wish to protect. they have been EVERYWHERE imean fucking everywhere. almost photographic memory, stores so much knowledge in that jineeeeeeourmos brain of theirs. boisterous/charismatic, welcoming, kind, and above all (despite the odds!), very happy with life :) mostly square shapes but theres some circles thrown in. . journey >>> destination. glass half full

love this thang. the spug.

*ok* holy shit i got off track. anyways

artificer: surprisingly, an incredibly small slugcat. just over the average juvenile size (a little bit bigger than survivor, and smaller than pretty much everyone else.) incredibly thin. before losing their pups, they were significantly healthier and just generally happier. i think they always had their xsplodey shit but it was more like a snail, a loud pop of noise used by detonating their explosion fluid stuff to startle predators if that makes sense? but then after losing their pups and doing nothing but KILLING KILLING KILLING KILLING scavengers for cycles upon cycles, they neglected caring for themself - including eating. eventually, they became near spearmaster in size & were able to propel themself into the air with the blasts due to their near-nothing weight. most scugs groom themselves as to not have their short fur become overgrown and tangle, but due to artificer's l;ack of nutrients they probably dont have their fur grow alot (does that correlate? idk if eating -> fur growth BARE WITH ME) BUT. they have it grown just enough to tie spears to their back with it. its matted and tangled and is rock solid when you touch it. OH ALSO before losing their pups, they had light brown fur! but then it stained permanently with scavenger blood :) atleast in my hc haha. ALSO their scar isnt just over their eye it covers about half of the left side of their body, renderng them entirely blind and deaf in their left eye and ear. partially deaf in their right ear from all the EXPLOSIONS they hear all the time. covered and imeanCOV;ERED in scars, moreso than hunter. unhinged fucking CRAZYYYY other slugcats are scared shitless of them bt they have a soft spot for slugpups so they would hypothetically always try to remain semi-not-deranged when around one But they havnt met any without guardians yet bc i know theyd drop everything and adopt them (or maybe not, in fear of having past events repeat?). square and triangle shapes. journey <<< destination. glass half empty.

rivulet: :) FISH . GUB GUB GBU i think out of all the slugcats i know the least about them BUT i love them all the same :) they r the MOST fun ever to play as! they strongly resemble a seal! their ears r almost nonexistent + they hv very short limbs and loooong whiskers. fat as FUCK (normal slug size) and incredibly fast they dart around like a bullet! actually pretty big, a little bit shorter than spearmaster (who is around saints size and a little shorter than gourman) big round fucking eyes and Surprisingly super quiet? usually just Stares......they radiate such a jittery energy youd think theyd talk alot (if scugs could talk) but no not really :) my cat is drooling on my arm thought id let you guys know . OK back to this ! very helpful and outgoing, a *little* nosy but out of genuine curiosity, always up to the task no matter how daunting. charming in their sillyfunny gooberific way. im sorry i dont have a whole lot here i wish i knew more about them :(( mostly circular shapes with some triangles. journey = destination. glass half full

spearmaster: very tall and VERY thin slugcat. pretty much all of their bodyweight is stored in their tail and you can. imagine how that i;s ! a bit lethargic from prety much having NO nutrients at all.. but to make up for it theyre pretty speedy and flexible as hell, they can bend their bones pretty much to fit into small spaces. also INSANE reflexes. pretty plain everywhere except their tail, you can very much tell they were Created. i think they are a bit irritable, but otherwise peaceful. tends to have tunnel vision when they are tasked with something to do, and are always wiling to help (i think most purposed creatures share this trait) they are pretty smart but have really bad memory i think. ALL triangles. journey < destination. glass is filled with water, what else are they supposed to think?

saint: second tallest (only a LITTLE taller than spearmaster). fluffy, curly, braided-in-some-parts fur. they have a faaaabulous mustache and FAAAABULOUS eye lashes. pretty thin, surviving as a vegan in a snow-covered world is difficult. their tongue works more like a chameleon tongue ithink ifthat makes sense? like they cant control it it just FWIP flashes out and sticks to stuff with barbs on the end. i do not know NEARLY enough about saint to say a single thing about them But ilove them theyre awesome. composed of pretty much all the shapes, maybe some diamonds in there too though. geometrical lookingikd ifthat maekssen8JURDTHJURDTIH. completely neutral on journey/destination and completely neutral on glass half full/empty.

also, . consi;der. ., arti <3< saint. if you know you KNo;W;98JRSEY9J8SH5E

[yuukei-yikes]

Just ate mold n i was like “OH YEAH YUUKEI YIKES I LOVE THAT GUY”

also i was thinking about harutaka. Plauged with visions as i am. And i had this moment like “WAIT !!!” Bc who the HELL is cooking in that house ???

takane. Cannot cook. And i know like haruka SEEMS like he could cook but like. Hes an artist + hospital. Idk dude i wanna know your thoughts on it

you ate WHAT. ARE YOU ALRIGHT. is the mold eating related to you thinking of me. its just...the first bit of this ask disconcerted me so much.

also my very studied smart correct answer to ur harutaka inquiry that will definitely go insane about domestic harutaka in general: takane can't cook, haruka learns.

youd be right haruka cant cook but he LEARNS. haruka and kido bonding sitcom episode is real to me.

yeah haruka could learn from ayano who he's closer to but I'm delusional abt haruka asking kido, seeing it as a way to approach them and become closer. i think haruka has his little adventure arc where he gets close to everyone in the dan with little bonding moments... kido likes haruka bc he's very chill and it makes them a bit emo about konoha, but spending that time with him allows them to separate the two more properly in their head... konoha was in the kitchen a lot with them, following them around and asking when food was gonna be ready or getting to snack on anything kido was cutting. haruka is more active, asks questions and seems so interested. but he's also asking for little samples like konoha used too hehe.. neither is better than the other it's just different yet similar people. kido is happy to hang out with haruka :3

sorry. that aside. back to harutaka. yeah i think haruka can cook. but he DEFINITELY learns!!! he definitely had no clue how to. he mentions having a live in helper to make meals and chores lmaoooo this guy is the worst i wonder if he's ever done a dish in his life. takane thinking haruka is flawless then moves in with him and Realises and she's like 😐oh my god. (this is an exaggeration takane does Not think haruka is perfect anyways moving on)

ofc takane is very messy too but like from the little bit we got from her grandma (1. GET UP ALREADY UR GONNA BE LATE. 2. STOP WASTING TIME ON VIDEOGAMES. 3. what do u want for lunch :3) i think takane is... spoiled or just ig standard? idk what to call it. i mean in the sense she probably got a lot of her stuff done by the adult in her life. but unlike haruka who has a dismissive father who pays someone to keep the house together LOL, takane has her actual caretaker and i think miss grandma sounds like the kind who's a little strict and would keep takane very aware of chores and was strict enough to make her do at least some. so takane's actually got a lot more tools/skills/conscience for living alone than haruka. like she will do the dishes while haruka unconsciously waits for them to magically do themselves

haruka in general isnt super familiar with Domestic Life because he grew up basically alone, with a stranger doing all the chores and also spent a lot of time at the hospital (sorry for linking a 2014 pre novel 6 fanfiction dot net fanfic but THISSS fanfic❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ about haruka's feelings on what Home is... is still very dear to me)

Haruka and takane moving in together they are WINGING IT but they have fun. they're like No rules🔥🔥🔥we eat pizza everyday. they eat a lot of takeout and instant food even if haruka can cook bc takane is a picky eater and haruka doesn't always have the energy to cook. haruka and takane work from home according to me myself and i, and their Time Of The Day management is awful. their life is quarantine life. they never... properly organize meals. haruka will always remember lunch and dinner but maybe he wont be in the mood to be like omg maybe i can whip up something quick :3 *starts cutting onions* nah. he's making an everything sandwich and going back to drawing!!!! i also think kido tends to make food for everyone. haruka is one of the only dan members who actually gives kido their tupperwares back without a miss because haruka is very thankful/excited for kido to bring food (notorious tupperware thiefs are kano and shintaro)

anyways. domestic harutaka. theyre the worst. like i know haruka going boywife mode for takane is funny but i dont think he does that immediately. he's got pics to draw dammit. i feel like they live in this small ass apartment and they have never made their bed in their whole life. and if they have futon mattresses they are just never picked up and constantly in the way👍 haruka definitely catches up and discovers vacuuming and putting away the dishes when they're dry but it takes him a second. listen its tough being in ur 20s when last week you were dead and you didnt think youd live to see adulthood!!!! but the bliss of a domestic life with ur s/o gives haruka the power to step up. i believe in him.

OH im also delusional they move with takane's grandma after a few years because um um um *runs away* im delusional!! takane mentions living in a house so that lady is in a house all by herselffff????? i feel so bad for her takane please go back to ur grandma. i think post str when takane reunites with grandma she totally moves back home but kind of immediately moves out again to move in with haruka and grandma's like oh💔

i i think i think i think um um ithink in their mid twenties they move with her cuz grandma is old and takane wants to take care of her.... teeheee. by then haruka's fine with cooking and both are ok with house chores but they probably still get spoiled a bit by grandma once they move in 🙏🙏🙏 that lady loves haruka i know so. sorry btw i got so off topic. i saw the chance to talk domestic harutaka and ran with it. also if youve followed me for a while u know i have a delusional fankid i totally think grandma is living at home too if/when they have a kid. sorry im making myself emo *punches wall* baby konoha.whoa im going so off topic sorry im so normal

sorry for my very delusional reply that was abt everything and nothing at once. also dont eat mold

[comix64]

soda cans all the way

lollipops

bubblegum

stubborn

still soda cans

tie between grunge and tomboy cuz they both look alike but honestly i wouldnt wear anything coordinated

earbuds make me anxious cuz they fall out too much, headphones

movies

fresh air ( i may or may not have been influenced by a smell marker with this label actually smelling like shaving cream)

blackjack during break :P

cereal

"WH-816" (the unchangable name of my headphones, as i listen to them with a micro sd card in them)

lanyard

skittles?

fahrenheit 451

legs pushed out a little, slouching backwards, neck against chair

cheap blue ones with creaky left heel i got off amazon

rain :P

facing left, left hand near face, right hand closer to knees, legs tucked in

text files (i blame my 2nd grade teacher for not actually teaching me handwriting)

mario

my cool uncle

idk if this counts but whenever i yawn i invoulantarily [sic, dont ask] make an odd sound like a speak and spell stuttering

idk, diamond

nintendo 3ds photo album slideshow music

swim

generally frolic in snow, idk i live in a mostly warm place

New Computers - Girlfriends, The Less I Know the Better - Tame Impala, I Want to be a Machine - The Living Tombstone, Bathwell in Clerkentime - The Real Tuesday Weld, Credits EX - Frums

deal with the bullshit and tell me im giving you bullshit

my desk, local library, MOTHERFUCKING IKEA BITCH!!!!!! IKEA ALL THE FUCKING WAY!!!!! THEY SAY GO TO YOUR HAPPY PLACE GUESS WHAT BITCH IM EATING MAC N CHEESE AND MEATBALLS AT IKEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the general outfit i wore for some weird day at my school - white tshirt, baggy pants (no seperating me n my baggy pants), fingerless gloves

just go watch a compilation of kevin parry n zach king

idk how to check, probably "ok" or "what" or sumthing

omega mart, you have no idea what's in store for youuuuu!

~11:30pm

i dont remember

suitcase

lemonade

lemon cake

pee on the ceiling of every room

jojo

pants, specifically cargo pants bits cuz nobody will ever suspect you put anything in those

hoodie

lavender?

scifi

you wont believe this… nothing

american (eagle screech)

apple

just keep swimming

the comment section of "Evil beat i been cooking up"

my music teacher is openly homophobic

VCR

typing

N/A

kiki koki

birthday powers

my pet rabbit dying, my parasitic need for attention, and my failing math grades

i can sound like stitch from lilo n stitch, i can sound like a speak n spell, and my teachers think i am smarter than the IT guy

idk something related to scout tf2 sorta

scott pilgrim but im not as shitty as scott pilgrim

the whole paragraph of mispronunciations of Denham's Dentrifice being pounded into Montag's ears in Fahrenheit 451

gooigi, luigi, young neil, sorry i cant keep a train of thought that long

the same five that describe me but sped up a bit

scratch.mit.edu

idk if this counts but there is what appears to be a symmetrical birth mark on my shoulders, on closer inspection one of them is a birth mark the other is from being stabbed with a pencil

dandelion

my deck of cards

dr pepper

there is an actual end of the internet. keep putting in URLS and it will tell you you've hit the end of your journey. then? well it'll save it to your hard drive for you of course! [i can give you the link]

lefty

pebble tile on pools. say goodbye to your toes

math

cinnamon toast crunch + orange juice

7

dont remember

whataburger fries

cactus

i dont drink/eat either but probably coffee

school id

never heard of em

arent fireflies and more violent sounding fireflies the same thing

pc can act as console. console cannot act as pc. pc obviously

drawing (that 2nd grade teacher i swear…)

radio

never heard of a polly pocket so barbie

mythology

cookies

overstaying my welcome

we'd all stop arguing about trivial things, and stop ruining our planet

jojo

passed a test because my handwriting worked like that card dr who has that looks like whatever the viewer wants it to

box

overhead

wallace wells, "ies-nes" (like "yes" mixed with "SNES"), comix, com, mixtape, im making up half of these :P

winter

safari

one of the defaults from KDE, the hexagon one

2, my mom's and 911

i dont know what it's called but one of my steam friends has a pfp of it and there's a template on Apple Keynotes that looks like a leather book and the stock images in there perfectly capture it (see below)

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

[writingsiewmai]

It's been a while since i last used this blog for anything cos i stopped thinking about my OCs for a while. BUT i saw this one prompt of "get to know your OCs as 1) a child 2) a teen 3) an adult"

And somehow im just really excited. I have a ton of OCs tbh and nothing will make sense to anyone here since I don't really talk about them they just exist in my head. BUT ANYWAY.

The Very Sorry Series

My most dysfunctional children (affectionate). Conceived when my brain was majorly fucked in one way. (Differently fucked today)

Haley

As a child: Grew up in a villain lair, following her mom around like a terrified duckling, silently absorbing literally everything around her like a sponge

As a teen: academically excellent, incredible at masking already at this point, still largely quiet, mother has lost it and around this point has been instilling in her the idea of Villain Excellence and finishing what her mother started

As an adult: fully functional on the outside and completely dysfuntional on the inside, full on villainy and wrecking shit and getting insanely bruised up but then turning up to her senior management job the next morning with full-face makeup as if there's nothing wrong, all her villain activity are basically dramatic self-harm and suicide attempts (shhhh dont tell anyone that)

Justin

As a child: sunshiney and cute, many kisses to his puffy little cheeks, daring and adventurous, already has powers but no one really figures it out for some reason

As a teen: constantly failing class, trying hard at everything but only thing he is good at are his powers, which he tries not to use all the time. Except there's this villain in town who keeps disturbing the peace... so he steps up once in a while

As an adult: unable to hold a single job or partner, his best friend is his biggest nemesis, he basically borrows her money all the time because he literally cannot hold down the fort by himself, he is beside himself with grief because he doesn't know how he can continue living as someone who basically cannot function in society, despite society needing him to save it

Dave

As a child: high awareness, already noticed a lot of people who treat him like he's stupid (calls him a r*tard), has dyslexia, already liked drawing, had loving parents (oh wow revolutionary) but he kept a lot of things to himself so unresolved issues

As a teen: more drawing, the ArtTM kid, develops intense crushes on the Baddest Girl in school, was a sorta sweater geek, a little bit bullied in school but not target practice, timid but kind, does not see much worth in himself

As an adult: comic book artist, very last-minute with his work, insanely in love with his next door neighbour who can clearly kick his ass (somehow gets even more obsessed with her after finding her bleeding out in villain costume), still timid and still kind, still near zero self-worth

Kirsten

As a child: knew she was trans, very oddball and offputting child, would eat bugs and is fascinated with all those "horrible history" books and stuff like that

As a teen: crazy vibes, people steered clear away from her, knew of haley and thought she was your average top scorer, beginning to dabble in tons of home experiments and stuff, halfway through transition but also uhhh it's almost all home-made or villain-adjacent-sourced

As an adult: transitioned and incredibly happy with all the self-modifications she's done, is The Villain Scientist (you cant be in the villain industry and not know her), weirdly enough the most functional person in this series because at least she has no self-harming/deprecating behaviours, very worried about every single one of her friends though because none of them are doing well, still a Weird Girl though

Grown to love water

Conceived during the period I was figuring out asexuality (and looking back, aromanticism), also body negativity stuff. But yeah, my softest most painful boys

Leon

As a child: happy little selkie child, loved by his community, big dreams of going to the surface, a bit of a romantic who dreams of a very traditional selkie romance (all the pelt stuff)

As a teen: first gf! Very nervous and giggly child, things are going well but he slowly gets very insecure about his body which causes him to distance from his gf, gf breaks up with him bc he isnt fulfilling much of her (sexual and emotional) needs and he just keeps backing off

As a young adult: (bc this story goes through a lot of phases) is in the surface world but at what cost? At the peak of his insecurity and low self-worth, hes a round guy (selkie blessings and human... not-so-blessings), awkward nerd, studies marine biology (for some reason??? Idk why, today, i'd say hes a geology major), MAJOR depression, intensely insecure about being a virgin for some reason and would do literally *anything* to lose it (except going out to meet people) until one day he meets a siren and is like: I'll let you eat me if you fuck me

As an older adult: still sorta depressed but he's recovering, no longer a virgin yay, much more secure in himself though, (mostly) knows hes a fricking gem, still chubby (important), also has a beautiful siren sorta-husband??? It's complicated lol but they have rings and stuff

Devon

As a child: smart, pretty, fawned over because hes a rare male siren, smug little bastard who knows he can get away with most things because he's cute

As a teen: started with the siren stuff, majorly fucked up because of that, welp he frequently has pedos for lunch i guess, notices differences between himself and most other people, oh oops! He can't love!, no new connections with others

As a young adult: loves to flirt and fuck around, still knows he can get away with most shit, same major as leon, knows the massive crush Leon has on him and takes advantage of it, a bit frustrated that Leon never rises to the bait so he can't eat him (but only because Leon never thinks the flirting is real), grows a soft spot for Leon as a friend

As an older adult: is leon's sorta-husband, loves Leon in his own way and enjoys the stability that Leon offers, still out there knowing he can get away with most shit, no longer fucking any of the men he eats anymore because he has a very horny selkie to satisfy, would love to be a trophy husband but unfortunately works to pay the rent, very touchy and constantly stirs Leon up on purpose, loves feeling loved

[local-trashmouth]

what do I name this

ain't gonna write infos so let's just dump out all my random headcanons for Henry & Patrick because I am just a whore for them

Warnings: if you crush on these dudes you don't need warnings luv, also this looks shitty

(these are dating headcanons btw)

Henry Bowers

alright, he gives you knives, switchblades, whatever comes to mind.

you'll have to keep up with his bullshit, I'm sorry for all you soft girls/guys but he won't adapt to y'all

his love language is physical touch, thats it.

you two listen to my chemical romance and smells like teen spirit

when you stick around long enough, he'll open up to you little by little

he asks Belch to borrow the Trans AM, only to take you on a little roadtrip when you both aren't feeling great

he often doesn't need to talk to you to notice that something is wrong

big baby in private, he's all over you but when you say no he won't force you to anything

SLUT FOR HEAD PATS

like, PLEASE ruffle through his hair

he's ur personal hype man, if you are bigger, he'll help you choose outfits and encourage you to show more of yourself

when he's mad or upset you are the first person he goes to, you'll have to hold him or do something stupid with him to get his mind off of whatever bullshit his dad played on him

wether or not you like what he's doing to kids, you won't be able to stop him completely

Henry would never hurt you tho

he's very stubborn, so arguments or silent treatments can last up to weeks

if you are anxious he'll make sure that nobody dares to say anything wrong to you, and if it is based on yourself or insecurities he'll make sure you're okay once nobody is watching

if you are depressed, he'll totally drag you outta the house to help him on the farm, but if you have one of those days where you cant get outta bed he'll stay with you

Patrick Hockstetter

first of all, what were you thinking? How did you get yourself into this?

I am just curious.

he'll stay at a distance at the start

I can imagine that when he knows for sure that you are real he'll secretly be a little soft for you

but don't you dare tell anyone

he really isn't a good boyfriend, but sometimes he tries

that comes in form of taking you to the Quarry alone, holding ur hand and taking lots of mental notes when you are talking

it seems like he isn't listening, but trust me he is

he knows you better than you know yourself

seriously, he remembers everything about you

he shows up randomly at ur window and gets salty when you lock it lol

eventually he shows you his fridge but you have to swear that you won't tell anybody

once he thinks you are real, you are the most important person to him

if you are scared of knives and fire (like me) he'll scare the shit out of you with them, he thinks its super adorable how you freak out when he got his can & lighter in his hands alone, although he wouldn't hurt you with neither

as kinky as this bastard is, once you two are far enough into the relationship, he won't cross boundaries as much in fear of losing you

gives you one of his rings to wear on a chain

if you are bigger, man he cannot live a second without having a hand on you 24/7

I feel like he wouldn't care about ur weight too much, only if it goes into a unhealthy amount (no matter if low or high) he would talk to you about it

listens to AC/DC with you

smokes with you if ur into that

that stupid adorable grin, expect to see it daily

in private he'll do his best to give you a reason to love him, he steals shit for you etc.

I feel like he wouldn't like you interacting with his parents, they love you but he just doesn't like it too much

if you are a artist, he'll let you draw on his hands and arms (he asked you to draw skeleton hands onto his once)

maybe, just maybe if you really ask nicely enough and promise him some sex he'll let you braid his hair

[in33d4n4me]

NAVIGATION

Hello, and welcome to the lavender field that is my blog!(●’◡’●)ﾉ

To start off, my name is vero/vera/vee(you can call me either of them!)

I am genderfluid and 19!| (• ◡•)|

Some of my intrests

Twisted wonderland(i play english servers btw!), devil butler with black cat, moriarty the patriot, witch hat atelier, cant stop cursing you, hellsing ultimate, project sekai, and a lot more that i cant think of right now! :\

What do i like to do?

I like to draw sometimes(⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

i've always wanted to write as well, which is my i made this blog in the first place!(ง'̀-'́)ง

I also like sleeping ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What (might) I be writing?

I might write smut(only of characters that are canonically 18!!!) and fluff as well!

im kinda iffy on angst, but ill do hurt/comfort if I can get with the idea presented to meᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Keep in mind that i do not take requests but i will accept thirsts and ideas, and if i really like an idea i might do a drabble or an actual post

Who is this blog for?

i made this blog for fans of any of the series mentioned above to talk and discuss them!

I do not mind if you are a minor but keep in mind that is only for sfw posts! If i see a minor interact with an nsfw post then you will immediately be blocked!>:(

Dni list

If you are homophobic, racist or have come here to harass me, my followers or anyone else please!!!

also please do not send thirsts including piss, scat, noncon(cnc is fine, as long as there is consent), age play, minor×adult, minor×minor smut, sub reader(of any kind), or zoophilia(petplay is fine)

and for sfw ideas please do not send pure angst, or gore pls(i can read it but i cannot write it , sorry)

I think that is it for now, but this post may or may not be edited in the future, so stay tuned!!

[attourney-at-lycan]

TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR OCS. NOW. GO!!

I GOT LIKE TWO OTHER ASKS ABT PRESONALITY AND BACKGROUND SO I MIGHT AS WELL JUST ANSWER THEM HERE

genesis was born into a basically a military family that prides themselves in being the best at providing o’khasis w/ strong knights/guards/bodyguards- some of the ppl of their family serve directly under Lord Garte himself- so she was raised in a way that taught her how to fight and serve those above her. she was taught from the moment she could wield a sword how to be the best weapon for anyone, a sword unable to have their own opinions, beliefs- she passed at the top of her class in knight academy and when zane cane around to build the jury, he chose genesis to be one. she’s pretty much what you can expect from someone who was raised in this way, she doesn’t seem to show any emotion or sympathy, she can be cruel and has convergent thinking, she’s not… cold or mean? but sort of monotonous? in a way? she has zero social skills so she does not do well alone in a public setting. she’s extremely obedient to authority figures and uhhhh thats all i can come up w/ for her? she has a bit of a strange relationship with jeffory? by that i mean, jeffory tries to stop genesis whenever she does something cruel when zane’s not around. he has to spend a while to convince her to out her fists down and just jgnore it bc zane’s not gna care. he sorta feels bad for her since she never really got that freedom at all? kinda like an animal born in captivity who even if you give them a way out, they probably wont take it bc their little area is all that they know. if that makes any sense, its so weird to compare my ocs to animals but thats sorta the best way i can explain it.

CONNIE- ohhhh connie connie he’s great. originally i had planned to make him some sort of deranged scientist/inventor who was stuck in the dimension of a different god for years and while thats not completely off what i want to do, i’m kinda not set on that now. but anyway, connie is basically con man extraordinaire but also a coward at times- he’s an alchemist, also doctor also surgeon also herbologist also scientist also researcher also archeologist also historian also he used to work in a circus for half a year if that can add anything to his resume- when he’s not getting himself killed trying to discover the secrets of the dead gods, he’s creating medicine to help those who cannot pay for a healer or expensive healing potions, or he’s out stealing shit from zane or he’s doing some other shit. anything other than getting a good night’s sleep. i do plan on- it’s a bit of a funny little “spin off idea” where its aaron and connie traveling together before the events of mcd, where connie hires aaron to accompany him on a small bodyguard job turned years long adventures with aaron keeping connie from joining the souls in the nether. he’s sm fun ik telling u-

ares i dont really have much tbh? in my rewrite meteli’s a port city that has a lot of run-ins with pirates and so ares was picked up by pirates and dropped off @ meteli where he basically grew up there before something happened that caused him to die? maybe he and some other riff raffs were too close to the nether portal and boom shit happened now ares is a shadow knight- ALSO i forgot to mention he is half elf, my only non human oc (FOR NOW- i tend to go apeshit w/ ocs) his personality tbh is kinda 🧍i dont know actually- the closest i can get is like a chill dude that likes to do the least work possible but if forced to he will be pretty cruel? im not sure on him yet but he’s fun..

also here are picrews (bc i cant draw for shit im so sorry) of them w/ the order being the same as how i mentioned them

[not-quite-girl-nor-quite-boy]

A/N- i had/have no idea what to do for wicked and i really just wrote down my thoughts as they came to me without much preperation just as a general warning. But i know alot of people are doing my babe rowena for 'wicked' and i love her so here we go!

Have fun<3

A/N part 2- I have decided to combine suptober day 4 and 5 (wicked+perfect dissaster) because a) they would both involve rowena anyway and b) because i need to catch up and while i can do alot of writing in a day 4 stories is too much. However, i might do one of these in November or just later on in general when i have less to do... So keep your peepers peeled.

Suptober day 4+5: Wicked + perfect disaster.

Rowena POV

"Hello my darlin' how can i help you?" The ginger witch said, her red curls bouncing in her ponytail as she walked over.

"You know how you can help me." The blonde started, "and you know why im here." She said pushing her glasses up her nose.

"Well of course i do love but i still have my manners. What do you want?" Rowena said. Her polite bubbly facade dropping.

"You to stop." She put simply. "Stop with all these perfect dissasters." She said pulling a thick book out of seemingly nowhere.

"Im afraid in simply cannot. Its alot of planning and it takes alot of energy but once i am finished, well it benifits me immensely. And besides by the time you've killed them like they're meant to be ive already gotten what i need." She paused as the librarian looking woman opened the book pulling out a page marker as a single tassle fell on the floor. "You dropped something." Rowena smiled. She looked down at the string looking up at rowena almost outraged. There was a full conversation happening between them existing solely in their eye contact. Eventually fate crouched down to pick it up tucking it back between the pages neatly.

"You are besmirching the charecter of the fates by impersinating our technique." She said snobbily. Rowena rolled her eyes at the self-superiority displayed in the statment.

"Yes i did draw inspiration from you darlings." She said in her charming voice thick with the full flurry of charm accompanying her scottish heritage.

"You cant act like us. Youre too wicked. Its a defamation of the name of the fates." She stated over dramatically.

"Where are your sisters anyway atropos?" She asked neglecting her feigned smile and glaring accusingly at the fake blonde.

"That hardly matters. Th-" she said quickly, getting cut off promptly by rowena.

"No this hardly matters. Otherwise you, the littlest of the little sisters, wouldnt be here all alone. They dont care. You will not put me off when you are inly here due to boredom and petty jelousy." She snapped.

"I dont need my sisters, i have the same autority as them, the same power as them." She said defensively.

"No you don't." Rowena stated knowingly. "You know it, and i know it. You arent the sam rank and you arent the same power, besides even if they were with you, it wouldnt stop me, it wouldnt frighten me. Nothing can." She stated fiddling with a coil come loose of its place in her hair. The fate looked at her like a spoilt child being told 'no' for the first time before promptly vanishing.

"Its always a good day to put someone in their place. Especially somone with such a superiority complex." She mumbled before returning to her buisness. "Maybe I'll give dean a call." She shrugged.

"This whole strategic killing thing reallybhad been working out well for her. And while usually she stuck with wicked in a more playfully mischevious way, this whole morally misguided method really worked in her favour.

A/N: Sorry this one is short but i had honest to god no idea what to do for this really. I mean it would always be rowena for wicked and probably be her for perfect dissaster but i was really fresh outta ideas for this one folks. Anyway. Hope you had fun <3

[hopecountyisforlovers]

love;

rating: explicit very explicit 18+ ONLY please

pairing: john pruitt x ezra wilson

words: 2519

summary: a little consensual vampirism leads to. some other things. god help me i cant believe ive written 2500 words of catholic erotica and i dont think im ever gonna be normal again. warnings for of course the Vampirism and a small reference to past self harm

----------x----------

He is gentle in everything he does- it makes Ezra's insides liquid, melting into technicolor. Even this supposedly violent act is tinged with his gentleness, with the love that pours so freely from his dark eyes for every living thing. That love captivates him, now, even when he can't see them- washing over him like the waves wash over the shore, drowning him and wiping him clean with every needy swipe of a tongue against his skin. His face is wet, with sweat, he thinks, his cheeks burning, his whole body hot where he is pressed into the thick sheets of the too-small bed- until John stops, pulls from the perfectly clean wound in his throat, looks at him with something like shame. He has come back to himself enough, now, that his hand does not shake as it keeps the tears from dripping off his jawline.

"I'm so sorry- I went too far, I shouldn't have- God, forgive me-"

He can't bear to see that look on his face, to hear that agony in his voice. His head swims dizzily, the edges of his vision sparkling, John dark in their centers, dotted with white teeth and the shine of his eyes like a perfect starlit night. His voice sounds weak when he speaks, but he oozes conviction. "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."

"Ezra-" Strangled. Desperate. Reverent. He had chosen a biblical name for himself, but he had never considered that it could sound so holy. He is grasping for him, their mouths sliding together, and he can taste the iron of himself on his tongue, and it is made sweet- water into wine into syrup. "Ezra, Ezra-"

"It's okay. Look, I'm okay, see? I'm okay." It is his turn to have the shaking hands, now, and he uses them to draw John's hand over his heart, thrumming with the glory of love, however softly.

"Let me make it up to you." Ezra opens his mouth to protest, he has nothing to make up for, how could he? He hadn't hurt him, not really, how could he? Even if he had killed him, had drained him dry, not a second of it would have hurt. Not a second. "Please, Ezra, please-"

This desperation lives in the core of him, made manifest by his rebirth, and it seeps into Ezra, liquid hot, replacing the blood he's lost, electrifying him. How could he deny what replenishes them both? In lieu of an answer, he shifts his hand, running it through lovely dark curls that threaten to swallow it, nails against scalp drawing a downright sinful shuddering exhale from the man above him.

John descends on him, again, like a wave, but there is no crash- Ezra cannot comprehend the gentleness which touches him now, so much more so even than before, which reaches into the molten center of him and wraps its fingers around it, not to crush but to hold, not to possess but to reinforce. It is so sweet on his tongue, sinking into his gut, and then further down- already, he aches with it. Long fingers, delicate, so delicate with him, loosen the buttons of his shirt, pushing it aside, shifting him to remove it and discard it on the floor. He is bare now, and while he would usually be self-conscious of his bare chest, even after the advent of the twin scars that adorn it, he cannot bring himself to be now. The only people in this room who can perceive him are John and God, and he knows with an absolute certainty there will be no judgment of him from either.

Their mouths break, a whimper leaving him at the loss, and he is being shushed in an instant, that mouth falling like the rain over every freckle that adorns his cheeks, his chest, his shoulders. He is caught in this rain, shuddering with it as it sprinkles over him, and he is reminded of standing outside under pouring clouds, letting himself be pelted to feel something- all of his desperate attempts to feel something- and those moments do not matter now. Because pain had never loved him the way that John loves him. Not a single inch of his bare skin is left out, special attention paid to his scars, and both of his hands disappear into those curls, giving back what he can, the hums and mewls and whimpers against his skin as he is tasted spiraling the ache in him further and further out of his control.

That mouth is hovering above his belt line, now, those big dark eyes on him, seeking permission he has to know that he already has. But it isn't permission, he realizes an instant later- it's guidance. There is something he wants, something he won't ask for, something he is willing to give instead- always the giver. Always giving. He refuses to let him, in a petulant action, so unlike the saint John looks upon him like- he has already been given so much. He is going to be the giver this time- he is going to give them what they both need. "Take me, John. Please, take me. I'm yours."

His bottom lip quivers, shaking Ezra's world with it, "I don't- I can't- I'm not-" He takes a moment to gather himself, those lovely dark eyes so conflicted it tears him in two. He knows it is not his vow that stops him, even if it probably should give more pause to both of them. He knows exactly what stops him, and he cannot take it. He cannot live in a world where the man who taught him the meaning of faith does not think himself worthy. He cannot live in a world where this man, so precious to him, is left to ache. He shushes him, fingers cascading over the fullness of his mouth.

"You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes," he starts, breathless, and he can feel the intake of air where his fingers still rest over John's mouth. He had spoken those words once, what felt like a lifetime ago- he had been looking at him that same way, even. They had been like magnets, even then- God drawing them into each other like he drew them there even now.

"How much better is your love than wine," He continues, steady in his conviction of the word, sliding up the length of his body again, more kisses, endless brushes of lips against skin stoking the flame undoubtedly leaving a wet patch on his pants at this point. When John's mouth again alights on his, their hips press together, and he finds him equally affected, firm against his heat. "Your lips drip nectar, honey and milk are under your tongue-"

Ezra's legs wrap around his waist, grinding against him experimentally, and the low whimper it draws from him threatens to make him lose himself on the spot. "Let my beloved come to his garden, and enjoy its choicest fruits."

The next few moments blur as they strip each other, bare skin pressing against bare skin in so many ways unknown to him that he cannot help but be overwhelmed. His hands get to roam now, touching and feeling and grasping, and he is certain for a moment that he actually had died, that Heaven had not been barred to him as he was told by so many it would be. But then a single long finger slips into him, meeting only the smallest amount of resistance, and he is sure that he is alive, because the sound John makes upon discovering his wetness is far beyond even anything God could conjure. The feeling is like nothing else, because he has no frame of reference- he's always heard that it's supposed to hurt the first time, that you are supposed to do nothing but grin and bear it to get to the good parts- but there is no pain to be found in how John explores him the same way there was no pain to be found in John draining the life from him. When he squirms and whines, desperate for more sensation, another is slipped in and he is shushed with another array of kisses to his freckles.

"I know- I know, angel, but I don't want to hurt you. Patience, patience- I will give you what you want. I promise." When the words draw a sinful sound from Ezra against his will, he can feel more than see him shudder on top of him, and another finger slips in, stretching him deliciously as his thumb plays with him, drawing his eyes practically into the back of his head. "So beautiful, It'd be so easy to- to slip in- to take and to hurt you- and I can't, I couldn't live with myself if I-"

Ezra pulls him forward, locking their mouths together to cut him off his tracks. "You couldn't hurt me if you tried. I'm ready, John. I'm ready. Please."

Again, he is briefly conflicted, but Ezra grinds against him, much more effective without the barrier of clothes, and the feeling of him just this way makes his whole body sing and he is dripping and he should be embarrassed at how wantonly he is behaving, ashamed at his attempts to tempt a man of the Lord, but he is not, he is not, because it works. The fingers leave him and immediately find his beloved's mouth, dark eyes fluttering shut as he moans around the digits- he can feel him twitch against where they are still centimeters away from being joined, and he did that, just the taste of him, and it is so erotic that his stomach is still filled wholly with the beating of wings as his legs are parted, as he is slipped into as easily as if John belonged there and was made to be there. He is the perfect size to fill him so completely, and he is so full, and the fingers of John's right hand are still wet with saliva as he intertwines them with his own, and again his cheeks are wet, but this time he realizes the tears are not his. He wraps his legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper, and his free hand swipes the saltwater from his lover's cheek in an action that reinvents him- had he not been a devotee before, he certainly was now.

When John starts to move, eyes riveted on Ezra's face, hand squeezing his like he's afraid that at any moment he could disappear, he is again stricken by the gentleness of it, belied by his fervor and that core of desperation that makes him up shining through the cracks in his facade. He had heard sex being referred to as making love more times than he could count, and he had never understood it before this moment- love poured into him, through his every pore, cascading against his skin, drawing slow, deep strokes against his insides, and they are making it, creating it from the thin air around them like making carbon dioxide from oxygen, and it fills the room and thickens the air and every breath is nourishment. Ezra moves back against him, pulling him deeper, elongating his strokes, and the shape of his voice wraps around Ezra's name in a broken mewl that makes his whole body pulse and clench in something like a warning. Ezra clings to his neck with his free arm pulling him into open-mouthed kisses between the praise that starts to spill from him like water in between the sounds of his pleasure. "So good- So good for me, John, so good- Feel so- did you feel that? I'm so- You're perfect- I love you-"

The pace picks up, the stutter of hips all too apparent. The grip on his hand is white-knuckle. John's voice is small, too small, barely audible over the sounds of their bodies moving together, wracked with ecstasy. "Don't stop- please-"

It takes Ezra a second to realize that he means he doesn't want him to stop talking. He likes the praise. He's asking him for something he wants- his heart all but soars. "You're amazing. A miracle. To everyone here but to nobody- to nobody more than you are to me. The way you love has changed me, John. So openly, so freely- I am so blessed. So blessed to be yours. I love you. I'll love you forever, and-"

"Ezra-" He cuts him off with another holy exhalation of his name, his voice at its breaking point. Every muscle in his body tenses, and it will not be long for either of them, and it feels like every nerve ending he possesses is building into this climax, all of them humming the glorious hymns of his one and only. "Ezra, I can't-"

"And I am so blessed to have you as my first."

These are the words that break the dam- there is a moment where his eyes widen, where he makes a sound like the air has been punched out of him- and then he is spilling inside of him and the whine that leaves him and the feeling of him shaking apart whites out Ezra's vision, body finally getting to the chorus of its song as he chants his name to the walls and to the town and to God himself.

John collapses to the side of him, scooping him into his arms and pulling him into a crushing embrace against his chest. There is a long moment where everything is still, where no sounds fill the room except their mutual heavy breathing. John is wrapped around him, their legs tangled, and he is still dripping out of him, and his face is buried in his hair, breaths fanning out against his scalp and sending pleasant shivers down his spine.

"Are you okay?" Ezra breaks the silence, and John stifles a laugh.

"I should be asking you that, you know."

"But I asked first."

"That you did. And since I'm being honest… since there's no point in being anything but completely honest…" he takes a deep breath, words coming out in a rush. "I hope it doesn't scare you if I say I feel like- like I've been waiting for you. For my entire life, I've been waiting for you. That however long I live, eternally or until tomorrow- that I- That I thought I knew. Before. What it was like to… to fall. But it wasn't…it was, but it wasn't. It never was. And it wasn't a mistake, not at all. I don't regret it. But it wasn't. This. And I don't want anything but this. But you. Forever."

"That sounds like a proposal." There is an edge of laughter to his voice, but John's grip on him tightens.

"It is if you want it to be."

His answer is almost too appropriate.

"I do."

[heyitsyn]

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

[dracosathenaeum]

OBLIVIATE | D.M.  ABANDONED FIC OUTLINE

Hello~

I’ve had this fic for @fuckingdraco ‘s writing challenge outlined for almost a year now. Half of it is a skeleton; i have some scenes which are fully written out and others which are just first drafts and idea dumps. this is quite literally copied and pasted so good luck if you read it.

I never had the heart to completely delete it but never liked it enough to write it; so here is my 2.2k draft fo what would’ve been a series. 

If anyone decides to read it, be warned, it’s a mess. i just didnt want it to die in my notes so it’s having a life here, in my new section of my masterlist ‘fics that never saw the light of day’.

warnings: memory loss, fight scenes, gore, fighting

//

Being in a secret relationships had its ups and downs

You had to sneak around

But that just made the moments you were together so much more meaningful

You couldn’t brag about him to your friends

But the both of you were quite private people anyways, explaining your absences as studying in odd places

No one ever found out

It was just you and draco

The summer of 5th year was hard as he spent all of it in the south of France with his family

But it made coming back in 6th year so much more exciting

your fingers ached to touch him as you walked past his carriage

It was moments like this that you wish you could openly love him

But when your friends started gossiping about how Harry Potter thought he’d become a death eater, you were suddenly glad you weren’t linked to him publicly

That thought itself set a heavy weight of guilt on you

He came back in 6th year and he had changed

His kisses lost their spark

His eyes lost their light

He’d fuck you rough and hard, almost as if forgetting himself. Before making it up to you in the next instance

Slow love making that made you feel like you had just slept with an entirely different person

You followed him

You supposed you shouldn’t have

But he was skipping meals and you couldn’t exactly talk to his friends when they didn’t know you

You couldn’t confide in your friends as they wouldn’t understand

So you had no other choice

You followed him throughout the nights, and every time you would find him slipping into the room of requirement when he should’ve been slipping into bed with you

Once you had gauged what time he usually went and on what days you yourself went, 10 minutes before he was due

You watch as he fiddles around some ancient looking cupboard and you wonder why you’re jealous of a dead tree taking up dracos time

You watch as he sends things through, until finally it works for him

But its not happiness on his face nor relief

It looks like dread

He doesn’t look like he’s accomplished something, no there was no way

You watch as he takes off his tie, throwing it in the pile of robes and jumper

You watch as he rolled up the sleeves to his arms, the arms that had held you up more times than you could count

And you watch as the dark snaking lines of the dark mark are exposed on your lovers skin

His eyes whip round to see yours, instantly widening in fear

It isn’t until you try to walk towards him and he throws his hands up to stop you do you realise the shattered glass littered around you

He flicks his wand and you walk over, standing in front of him trying to figure out why

“How did you hide it from me for so long.”

“Simple charms, I was hoping you wouldn’t have to find out.”

More dialogue where he explains

“I don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice.”

Draco please

“I can’t, I had to take this on my skin because my father fucked up”

“If I, if I stop now, I cant save my mother”

“Draco please, we can find a way around this”

You kiss him

And it feels like you’ve both gone back to before 6th year

When times were simpler

When he loved you and you loved him and that was it

No other interruptions

“Oblivate”

PART 1

“Y/n?”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Draco Malfoy, we share some classes but we haven’t spoken before.”

“Oh, im sorry, of course. I’m really tired I dont usually forget peoples names I swear. I must’ve been so tired I wandered in, I apologise.”

“It’s okay, the doors over there.” You take that as his polite cue of asking you to leave

He offers a tight smile, one you remember from first year, one you remember seeing across the hall as he’s shut down by Harry Potter

Poor guy must be going through something

“Y/n”

you turn, you dont even hesitate. You dont know what it is but you feel as if you’ve known him all your life

You change and you see a gold ring dangling from a dainty gold chain. You ask your friends if they’ve seen it before

im forgetting so much these days

But you keep it on, it brings you an odd sense of comfort

You keep it tucked beneath your blouse, bringing it to you lips on occasion when youre anxious.

//

He had forgotten about his ring, the very ring you had clasped between your thumb and finger as you worked on your essay. How was he possibly supposed to get it from you

he’s well aware he’s staring but his mind is whirling

He needs that ring

“Draco, isn’t that your ring?”

He should’ve obligated himself, that might’ve been easier

“I’m sure it just looks similar.”

“Draco, we both know that’s the Malfoy famlily crest, I wondered why you stopped wearing it.”

“Wait did she steal it?”

misplaced it

She picked it up

He had to awkwardly walk over to pick it up

“That’s my ring.” You had told him all about how your friends hated him and how you had feigned indifference the entire time

He had to act the part

Youre flustered, eyes flicking between the ring and him, fingers clasping it tighter as if not wanting to let it go

He notices and his heart clenches at the sight

Remembering the night he gave it to you

*flash back*

“I’m so sorry, I must’ve picked it up by accident here.”

“Wait, how do you even know it’s his, prove it Malfoy.”

“My vaults could buy Hogwarts, why would I be stealing gold from a nobody?”

Your cheeks flare up and your friends glare at him but see his side

You struggle to unclasp it, and of course you fucking do because his stupid fucking ass charmed it so only he could take it off

he watches as you struggle with it, turning to a friend to help before you have 6 girls pulling at the very expensive chain on your neck

“For fucks sake youre going to damage it, let me.”

Your breath hitches as his surprisingly warm fingers brush your hair out of the way, fingers working quick to unclasp the necklace, the weight of it leaving your neck and you feel surprisingly empty

“Thank you.”

You watch as he goes, your fingers scratching over your neck, feeling something bubble in your throat

This was pathetic, you were so sad over something that was never yours in the first place

You spend the remainder of the time trying to figure out how you cam to be in possession of it in the first place

//

your name is written in beautiful cursive on a letter that you cannot help but love

You turn it over to see a beautiful wax seal on it, fingers trembling as you break it

The chain is yours.

d.m.

You tilt the envelope over into your hand to feel the familiar weight of the chain in your hand, clasping it around you neck in an instant

You look in the mirror but you dont recognise yourself

Your friends are surprised when you study with them

When you go back to your dorm room at a reasonable time

And you dont have a clue where it is they think you go

But how could you possibly explain to someone what you font remember

The chain is too light around you neck, its just not the same, it feels as if it’s chocking you rather than bringing you comfort

You start digging through your trunk and draws, looking for something to act as a pendant before you finally do.

Hidden at the back of one of your draws you find a little velvet box you dont remember stashing away. But then again, you dont seem to be remembering much these days.

Its a tiny little constellation of stars, charmed to sparkle and you heart wonders why you had never worn it before. It was a simple little charm but once hooked onto the necklace, you look at yourself in the mirror and finally feel as though a little part of you has returned.

PART 2 THE CONSTELLATION IS DRACO

6th and 7th years are a blur

A blur of horror

You dont really understand how life had changed so abruptly

You dont know how you end up fighting in a war at the age of just 18 but here you are

Draco stands with Hogwarts

And then his mother calls

You’ve seen him

Of course you have

You know what he is, know what his parents are

But you also know what he has done to make Hogwarts more bearable for you under the Carrows watch

The small things, diverging attention away from you and your friends

He wasn’t evil and some part of you knew that

You watch as he takes a shuddering breath and starts to walk

You watch as no one stops him

You watch as he loses more of his soul with each step towards mr no-nose

You dont know why you do it

You run

Your friends call your names, teachers joining in

They think youre joining the other side, they think youre fucked in the head, as they had since that incident in 6th year

But no, you were just missing something

you catch up to him pretty quickly, pulling him to a stop

“Ah, another to join my cause. Welcome young lady.”

“You know me. Im missing something but whenever I’m with you, whenever im holding this stupid constellation close to my heart, I feel at ease. Why”

he stares at you incredulously, and why wouldn’t he. Youre in the middle of a battlefield, Harry Potter has just been declared dead and Voldemort is less than a meter away

But you dont feel scared

And you feel stupid for not feeling scared

“It has felt like I dont even know who I am for the past 2 years, what did you do to me?”

You know everyones watching, you can hear the gasps on both sides as they think the worst of him

“I did what was necessary.” That was the first time he had spoken more than 2 words to you since he had gotten his necklace back that day in the library

“Draco, this is no time to be flirting. Come join me, bring her with you if you want.”

He tenses as voldy rests a boney hand on his shoulder, pulling him towards the other side, away from you

“If you won’t be joining us, we will use you an example of what will happen if you dont join us.”

You stare at him unfazed, fear was something you had gotten used to

Your fingers grip your wand in hand, running through all the spell harry had taught you in the da but its not enough

You are no match for voldy as he throws an unforgivable at you

You hear screams around you but all you hear is silence, as if the world had finally gone silent

//

Draco watched as the spell hit you directly in the chest. He had spent 2 years living with his actions all for it to have gone to naught in a single second

He watched as the light from his wand hits you

Before rebounding off you as if it hit a shield

There’s a flash of black and his mother is infront of him, wand out from deflecting the spell from bouncing back and hitting him

“Mother?”

“She’s important to you?”

“She gave him one of the fucking family heirlooms, either she’s important to him or he’s an idiot”

His parents were… bickering in the middle of a battle

voldy recollects himself but before he can talk neville speaks up “I have no idea what’s going on but-”

Draco drowns out the noise as he stares at you on the floor, youre covered in dust and in blood but youre alive

He hears screams as harry rolls from hatreds arms, he hears the cries from death eaters but all can see is you

“We’re switching sides now?”

“I mean he’s fairly distracted, he won’t have time to hunt us down, we owe it to our son.”

Fight scene

You remember everything

Fred Weasley teases the both of you, “we have a war to win, you can fuck later.”

He copy his lazy grin, a grin that lights you up, a grin that reminds you what’s left to fight for

You see the spell before he does

Youre in an arms reach of him but Draco cant reach you in time

You push Fred to the floor, putting yourself in the line of fire by default and draco has to watch you get hit all over again

“We need to talk about what exactly it is ive been wearing around my neck this entire time.”

“I think only my mother can answer that.”

[if you made it this far, send me an ask with the word ‘chicken’ and i’ll send you a cursed photo xx]

[kopivie]

*cracks knuckles* this is what my art skillz are used for (SORRY THEN DONT LOOK GOOD I AMDE EM IN LIKE 15 MINS AND I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DRAW THEIR HAIR I STILL NEED PRACTICDE KSNEGSEGGE)

omg rigel sounds so so sweet but YEAH he might not be the best king,, IM GLAD SAIPHA AND HIM STILL ARE CLOSE THOOO i wish they could just both be the ruler but life isn't that easy

AND MANA??? SO THERE IS KINDA LIKE MAGIC IN HERE what are lapis and lazuli's mana like? im assuming they have their own magic and stuff AND HELP[ I LOVE THIS PART "if people knew what they were doing, they'd be ousted and jailed" PLEASEEEEEE

"the bigger kingdoms like the avrigian empire and the xedian dynast" THE WORLDBUILDING?? WHAT ARE THE OTHER DYNATIES AND EMPIRES LIKE??

dragons love it there because of how untouched it is by mankind." does that mean we get to see dragons. I FUCKING LOVE DRAGONS. PLEASE LET ME SEE DRAGONS--

"fun fact: lapis was born in bahmania, but was taken out of there by their human father against their mother's wishes." oh no. WHAT??? U CANT JUST SAY THAT AND DIP??

IM LOSING MY MIND[@@*@@;&=×&÷:&@$ YOU'RE FUCKING AMAZING, I'M LITERALLY ON THE BRINK OF TEARS RN THANK YOU

oh boy ... okay Okay Look this world is huge, lemme try to like. Not Fly Off the Handle

so for mana manifestations, there's three stages:

the first stage is basic life. mana is life energy — the first stage is just being alive. everyone possesses just enough mana to keep them alive. everyone also possesses an aura that shields them from minor injuries. it takes quite a bit of jostling to hurt someone — scraped knees are a thing of fiction, really. but bloody noses and broken bones are real, it just takes a little more force to cause that kind of thing, so the strength gap between real life and this world is a little big.

the second stage of mana manifestation enhances bodily capabilities. enhanced intuition, telepathy, psychokinesis, that sort of thing. saipha... well, to quote my notes directly:

“Instead, her specialty allowed her to smell a person’s true nature... and greatly empathize with people... Her ability to judge a person’s character is second to none. She cannot tell when a person is telling the truth or not, but if she cannot stand the smell of a person, then they are deemed suspicious per her order.”

she can also see the color of a person's aura, and it's not exactly something she can turn off, so she constantly wears a veil to shield her eyes.

the third stage of mana manifestation is elemental manipulation. you can control any one element at will!

lapis is a third stage manifestor by default because of their lineage — they have the blood of an elemental within them, so they can control water at will. lazuli on the other hand was a second stage manifestor, but thanks to the spirits' interference, they can now control water as well! (they only ever use it when cooking, though. they try to avoid dirtying their hands via combat.)

mmh i'll leave the other dynasties and kingdoms for another time, but! the thing about lapis being taken from bahmania!

in this world, hybrid children are... commodities. one of the rarest and most precious goods that money can buy. lapis' father took them out of that country with plans to make money off of them somehow, but last minute, his conscience stopped him. of course, that didn't stop him from physically abusing them until his sudden death, but that's what happened. he didn't even name them. lapis raised themself for two years before they encountered lazuli.