#sorry i cant reply to most people but ill try and get to those soon!
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Hi hi hello! Sorry for lack of posts and updates recently, been dealing with a lot of stuff irl; but it's my bday today (8th April) so thought I'd make a quick doodle to celebrate! <3
#cheea chatter#doodles#admittedly progress on the game has been slow due to personal things#but ill try and make a progression post this month!#ive also been neglecting my DMs again sadly#sorry i cant reply to most people but ill try and get to those soon!
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would it be ok to ask that this one is posted soon? i could use reassurance about it if thats alright? things are just... really hard.
im trying to come to terms with the fact that im going to be disabled for the rest of my life. i accept that im disabled *now,* but i have a degenerative disease, its not going to just stop being there. its going to keep getting worse slowly over time.
its especially hard because... even now i cant do my favorite hobby, rockhounding, because i cant bend without risking falling, i cant get on the ground to pick things up and/or dig because i wouldnt be able to get up on my own, and i cant navigate most off-road areas where the rocks im interested in are most often found.
i also desperately want to be a geologist. but i wanted more than anything to be doing fieldwork, like going out and taking samples from various areas, making maps of what could be found where based on my samples... that sort of thing. but ill never be able to do it and i have to come to terms with that.
it will get bad enough that i will need a wheelchair at some point in my life too. like, at some point within the next five to ten years.
ill also never be able to pick people up again. my whole life ive prided myself in picking people i love up during hugs, spinning them around, that sort of thing. i especially loved picking up my best friend.
they understand that i cant do that anymore and theyve never expressed sadness over it, but i cant help but think about how delighted theyve always been about me picking them up and spinning or wiggling them during hugs, and how they used to ask multiple times each hangout to be picked up and hugged.
and even if they arent upset about it, *i* am. i want to be able to do what i used to be able to. but i cant. and i never will again.
its just hard, knowing ill never be able to reach my dream career, continue my favorite outdoor hobby, continue giving love to my friends in the ways i like to... theres so much i can no longer do, and so much ill never be able to do again.
its just really hard. i dont want to be this way. but i am and i always will be, and it will get worse even if i do things like meds and physical therapy. those would just delay the collapse of my disease.
im just sad. i dont want to have to come to terms with it. but i have to or else im setting myself up for even more grief.
and its all because my mom wouldnt get me treated when i was injured in my teenage years. that injury going untreated for so long is what caused my degenerative disease to start so early. my mom has it too but she didnt start developing it until her fourties.
and then for years after my injury when talking about my back pain she just kept saying it was because im fat and that it would stop hurting if i lost weight.
which of course sparked the eating disorder i had previously recovered from.
which ive been struggling with now again for years because of that. but i was getting better again.
until now. because my body hurts too bad to get out of bed often enough to eat a healthy amount so im rapidly losing weight and my brain is saying i have to keep going and going.
and, the wheelchair thing... all my friends live and are going to live places with a lot of stairs. and *i* live somewhere with a lot of stairs too. and the doorframes in all these places arent wide enough for a wheelchair, nor are the bathrooms large enough.
its just all so hard to think about. i hate it. i want to get better and heal like a normal person would, not be in pain constantly and get worse like my body is going to.
thank you for listening. sorry for how long this is.
if i could get reassurance in tags or replies that would be really nice. this is all just so hard and i only have a few people i can confide in about it.
<3
#fatphobia#fatphobia mention#tw fatphobia#fatphobia tw#ed mention#ed#tw ed#ed tw#eating disorder#eating disorder tw#eating disorder mention#tw eating disorder#long post#i can't speak from a place of experience but i'm inviting ppl to pop into the comments if u can! :]#disabled ppl can and do (and will!) live complete and fulfilling lives!!! at the same time it won't be the life you had before -#- and it's important to honour that! its ok to mourn what you might be losing (rockhounding/geology) :( <3#and i'm so sorry your mom had dismissed u. regardless of whether or not it would've resulted in disability u deserve to be heard <3#you're going through a big life change but i promise there is so much light and community for you!!! you have so much life to live!!#if your friends are good and kind they'll be more than happy to meet you where you're at :]#''i can't do stairs! instead of using X's living room for movie night let's set up a projector in the back yard?'' kind of thing :]#you are worth the effort to be loved and accommodated. breathing gentleness and love and light your way <33
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so are we getting the titles thing
replying to this anon, sorry for anyone uncfomortable with being tagged KGVHJFUGHB i will bow down and teleport to ur house to worship you in return - btw ty for this question , it seems super interesting 😭😭 ive never done anything like this before idrk how this will work side note: these are only ppl ik, i obviously havent talked to EVERYONE on enhablr so im so sorry, also ill be making my moots list soon so expect to be tagged once more IM SORRY JASOFJJDID
@heeseongism - enhablr’s it girl: i have explain this before but the unnecessary hate for being funny AND pretty just proves that shes a celebrity atp
@jaylaxies - enhablr’s leader: yk the 4th gen leader things, i rlly dont think ur on enhablr if u dont know aria, shes honestly the ariana grande of this app ( OH SHIT I JUST REALIZED THERES ARIA IN ARIANA, praise my play on words pls ) anyways she literally is our president KEOSIDUSJ and shes so humble despite being one of the biggest blogs give this woman an award
@hee-pster - enhablr’s first love: not just cuz she was one of my first friends but she just gives off those vibes , plus her smuts are unforgettable like ur first love, also she cant be replaced ( no matter how many rebounds u try to find THERE IS ONLY ONE JAN ) shes so unique and also so mature too UGH CMON everyones ideal type srsly
@svnoohe4rts - enhablr’s sunshine: shes honestly so cute and KOSJDONS idk i love her sm , shes just super silly and easy going i feel like if she walked past me id melt into the floor, she just makes everyones day
@aminatalks - enhablr’s baby: idk dont ask me, this is a genereliazed statement but everyone honestly just loves amina cmon now, shes so precious everyone here TREASURES this woman and im ready to defend her 24/7
@end-hyphen - enhablr’s older sister: i was gonna go for enhablr’s best friend, i think that fits too - but little sister fits better because she’s always there to listen and she’s superrrrrr supportive, the no.1 hype girl honestly, she’s just super funny and chill and someone ppl feel safe w
@donghoonie-3 - enhablr’s icon: she just inspires so many people, and makes everyone day honestly, everything she says makes me laugh but also dont be distracted bcuz she has the most sexy asf hard thoughts?? then somehow shes the sweetest funniest person after?? duality indeed
@forjongseong - enhablr’s girlboss: she has NOOOOOO misses on any of her posts/comments/interactions, super interesting to talk too and also she’s so mature while also being so friendly? she’s just the type of girl id envy if i saw her cuz she has such an amazing personality and she is the sweetest person on this app, HER AND ONLY HER END OF CONVO
@thots4hee - enhablr’s angel: once again dont be fooled bcuz when she gets horny she gets WHOREEEEEENYYYYY, but aside from that she’s so funny and sweet and she talks in the most precious way i need to put her in my pocket fr
@hyunjinsr - enhablr’s happy virus : honestly she just has an adorable smile and she’s so wholesome to talk to, i feel like knowing/seeing her happy just makes me happy too and she adds sm positivity to the dashboard its INSANE how a person can make my day
@criceofpain - enhablr’s happy pill: this one is different bcuz she’s so funny to me, specially when she talks in filo and she just swears like 100x million times, she also writes smuts that make me wanna drown myself bcuz its THAT GOOD,
@vivvys - enhablr’s sassy/duality queen: i dont think ppl understand, viv is so so insanely funny, shes up there when it comes to people who have made me laugh, LIKE A LAUGH NOT JUST A “hehe thats funni” a real “BWGAHSHSKASHA” ykwim? but then i see her defend herself and her friends and speak out on what she believes in and it’s like okay she will not take y’alls disrespect, she’s also the coolest person ever, like i idolize her honestly
@jojayke - enhablr’s little brother: WE HAVENT TALKED ONCE LMFAO, but i do follow his blog and support on the sidelines thru anons, but anyway i feel like ely is just such an amazinggggggggg writer that its like seeing ur little brother grow up to be such a talented and creative person? how honestly pls step up to the mic and teach us how 🎤🎤
#GIVE UR FRIENDS TITLES#dont kill me pls#anyways take this w a grain of salt#but also dont cuz i had to wrack ny brain and why was there literally REPEATED anons copy pasting a in my inbox#shufie; talks
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I had a dream that harry and draco were both aurors and they were married to ginny and astoria and then got sent to a mission and they had to do a steak out????? But ofc there was tension so they were like uuuuhhhhh we should bring our wives bc uuuuhhh we cant be away from them too long ya know and they all spend a month or two in a house and shit and ginny and astoria fall in love and bc theyre badass ladies they are upfront about it and then harry and draco are like.... Guess we should a dress
our thing too huh?? And then albus and scorpious have 2 moms and 2 dads (ginny and astoria were both pregnant btw, dont know if i already said that) and it was weirdly amazing and i didnt know who else to tell so yea
***
Anon, your mind. First of all, thanks so much for sharing your dream with me because it's honestly amazing. Second of all, I was re-reading your asks the other day wondering if I should try to write this, and soon after that I took the (ill-advised) decision to take a nap and started dreaming about your prompt. Now I feel like I share a special, oneiric connection with you! Anyway, I hope you enjoy :)
Thanks @april-thelightfury115 for betaing!
Drarry | 2.3k | Teen and Up | Falling in Love, Break Up, Getting Together, Kid Fic, Pregnancy | Read on AO3
At first, Ginny had been mad. Offended, even, that her husband had thought it a great idea to make her share a house with Astoria Malfoy for Merlin knew how long while he and Draco ran off to chase some suspect.
“The only thing that woman and I have in common is that we're pregnant,” Ginny had argued, “and that we're both married to bloody idiots!”
Three weeks into the stakeout, however, Ginny had to admit she’d been wrong. Although wrong wasn't perhaps the most accurate of word choices, since she and Astoria were, like she’d suspected, completely different kinds of people. Where Ginny was passionate and intense, Astoria was quiet, an aura of serenity always surrounding her. Where Ginny bickered and joked and threw jibes around with her husband whenever she had the chance, Astoria was all subtle touches; a small caress to Draco's shoulder before they left home in the morning, a careful take care whispered in his ear.
Where Ginny was fire, Astoria was water: cleansing and soothing and calm.
But she had been utterly, dangerously wrong in that she couldn’t help but find Astoria Malfoy intoxicating.
“Darling.” Astoria had recently taken to calling her that when they were on their own, in a tone that Ginny could not bring herself to believe to be purely neutral. “Are you sure you're not tired? I sincerely doubt they'll arrive before dawn this morning—we don't have to stay awake if you don't want to.”
“No, no—” Ginny couldn’t help but shiver as the small realisation washed over her for seemingly the hundredth time that night: the realisation that Harry, as much as she adored him, could not have had any less to do with her wanting to stay awake. “I don't want to give up the chance to beat you one more time.”
Astoria smiled at her, cheeky.
“Very well,” she said, and, after a moment, moved one of her knights on the board. She didn't take her eyes off Ginny as the Knight destroyed one of Ginny's pawns; her eyes sparkled with naughty mirth, and Ginny's breath caught.
A moment later, a wave of guilt drowned the butterflies in her stomach, and Ginny looked down at the chess board and told herself that she was in love with her husband. Utterly, helplessly in love.
Except you aren't, a little voice said. You love him. You love him more than anything. You’ve loved him since forever; you'll love him for forever, because he'll always be the person who gave you your son. But you are not in love with him anymore. You haven't been for a while now.
“Ginny.”
She raised her head.
“You're not thinking about the game.”
It wasn't a question.
Astoria knew. She wasn't stupid. She knew she wasn't meant to be calling Ginny darling, knew of the emotions—deep, fierce, raging—that ran under Ginny's skin whenever they shared a smile, a look; whenever one's fingertips found the other's knuckles and their knees brushed and bumped almost on their own accord in the middle of their nightly conversations.
“I'm not,” Ginny said. “I'm thinking about us.”
Astoria let out a breath, shoulders sagging. She looked down, but Ginny waited, gaze steady, for Astoria to look back up at her.
“It's late,” Astoria said after a moment.
“I think I'm falling in love with you.”
Astoria closed her eyes, a slow frown twisting her sharp features.
“I know.” It was barely a murmur.
“I know you know,” Ginny said, a challenge.
Astoria met her gaze, then, and Ginny's resolve wavered when she realised just how terrified Astoria was.
“Hey,” Ginny murmured, standing up. Astoria, lips trembling, buckled over to make room for her in the settee. “Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry—”
“It's not your fault.” Even though her head was turned away from Ginny, Astoria leaned into her touch. “None of this is your fault. Draco is—” Her voice broke, and Ginny held her hand with both of hers, aching, yearning to hold Astoria in her arms and take the pain away. But she couldn't. “Draco is a wonderful man. He's attentive, and loving, and he's funny, and…”
A tear fell into Astoria's shirt over her tummy.
“And he's my best friend. But he and I are not in love. We never have been.”
That caught Ginny off-guard.
“Never?”
Astoria laughed, a broken, pathetic sound.
“Never. Our parents planned our union soon after I left Hogwarts. I was horrified at first, but after getting to know him, there was a time when I really thought I would fall in love with him in time. That he'd fall in love with me. And we did end up loving each other, mind you: he will always be my closest friend. It's just not…”
“Yeah,” Ginny said softly. “I understand.”
Astoria turned to look at her, then. Seeing her teared up made something inside Ginny snap, and she reached out, held Astoria's cheeks in her hands, thumbing at her messy tears.
“Harry and I were in love for a long time, but… I think he knows just as well as I do that the love we feel now is purely platonic.” She smiled—chuckled. “In fact, a small part of me suspects whatever he feels for Draco right now is more intense than what he ever felt for me.”
That tore a laugh out of Astoria.
“I would not be surprised if that was the case. Those two…” She shook her head. “They're incorrigible.”
Ginny groaned in agreement. A moment later, though, her smile faded away and she was left with Astoria's face cradled in her hands. Their legs pressed together, their eyes searching the other's face. Scared, but hopeful.
Sliding her hands down Astoria's neck and shoulders, and then squeezing her arms, Ginny let out a slow, deep breath.
“I think we need to have a conversation with our husbands.”
***
“You… What?”
To Harry's credit, he looked more baffled than anything else.
“We're in love,” Astoria repeated, voice steady, but gaze pleading with Draco to understand.
“I… Okay. Okay. Give me one second.” Harry turned around and sat down on the nearest chair.
Draco remained still. As far as Ginny was aware, he’d barely even blinked since they'd started explaining the situation to them.
“Are you going to say anything?” Harry asked after a moment, turning to Draco. When Draco shook his head, gaze still fixed in some distant point in space, Harry stood again, leaning his weight against the table. “Okay, so first of all, this is all extremely awkward.”
“We were aware of that much, thank you,” Astoria said.
“I mean, both of you are pregnant. With our babies.” He gestured between him and Draco. “Not to mention that we're married, although that's slightly less permanent…”
Draco huffed, and the three of them turned to him. When he didn't say anything, Harry continued.
“But I guess it… makes sense? I mean—you two are sort of like… the perfect opposites, you know. I always knew you would get on well. I didn't suspect you'd get on this well, but, hey—”
“Have you—” Draco's head seemed to be stuck mid-shake, eyes scrunched closed. “Have you done anything? With one another?”
“No, darling.” The word sounded different, Ginny thought, when Astoria used it for Draco. “We were waiting to tell you.”
He nodded, but didn't say anything else. When Astoria approached him, Ginny took a step back to give them some space and leaned into the table with Harry.
“I love you,” she told him.
“And I you,” Harry said, eyes low. Gulping, he took Ginny's hand in his. “But… I mean, I think both of us had noticed that something was… that something wasn't…”
“I know.” She squeezed his hand. “I know.”
He looked up at her, and Merlin, he looked so, so vulnerable in that moment that Ginny wished more than ever that she could love him the way he deserved to be loved. But that simply wasn’t for her to do.
“I still would like for us to raise our son together,” he murmured.
“We will. Harry, I don't care what happens from now on. You're still my best friend, and you're still the father of my kid. Nothing is going to change that. Okay?”
Harry nodded, and, biting his lip, turned his gaze to Draco and Astoria. After a moment, Ginny did too.
Draco was crying.
“Come on, let's give them some space,” she said, pushing herself off the table. Harry followed her out of the room.
***
“Draco…”
No reply came. Harry looked at him, but Draco's gaze was fixed somewhere outside the car window.
They'd spent countless hours inside that car, in that very watch post. Hours chatting, and bickering, and taking turns to sleep while the other watched the house for any signs of activity.
It had never been awkward before now.
“Look, we need to talk,” Harry said. Draco huffed, unamused. “We need to talk because we both know our wives are not the only ones who’d noticed something wasn’t right before yesterday’s conversation. They were just the only ones brave enough to be upfront about it.”
In the moment it took Draco to turn around, Harry thought of Draco's head on his shoulder; of the way it had felt when Draco had fallen asleep there, of the way he'd been so careful not to let it fall so Draco wouldn't wake up. He thought of the way their arms brushed whenever they walked, wands in hand, toward a dangerous location. Thought of the very reason they'd been so adamant that their wives should come with them on this mission: a truth they'd refused to confront, and that had gone and slapped them in the face anyway.
“Do you understand how terrifying this is for me?” Draco finally said, body turned to Harry, but gaze fixed on his knees. “To know that my life as I know it, as I always expected it to be, is over? Do you think”—he looked up at Harry, and Merlin, he looked so scared Harry had to hold back from reaching out to him—“that I haven't noticed that I'm in love with Harry Potter, and not with the woman I'm about to have a baby with?”
Harry held his breath. Searched in Malfoy's eyes, desperately, for any hint that he was about to take back his words. Then, almost out of breath:
“I'm in love with you too.”
Draco let out a desperate laugh.
“I know that, you bloody idiot,” he choked out. “Fuck, I know.”
Harry bit his lip. Reached out, rested a hand over Draco's trembling, fisted own.
For a few moments, neither spoke.
“I'm sorry,” Harry murmured eventually. “I'm sorry things can't be different.”
Draco started playing with Harry's fingers, and Harry closed his eyes—marvelled in how warm Draco's hands felt. How careful they were even as he fidgeted.
“I'm glad they told us,” Draco said. “I want Astoria to be happy, and I know she'd never be completely happy with me.” A sigh. “I wouldn't, either. Not with her. I just… I need some time to come to terms with it.”
Harry's fingers turned and turned between Draco's nervous own.
“That's okay. I don't mind waiting for you.”
Their eyes met.
“Okay,” Draco said.
Harry squeezed his hand. Smiled.
“Okay.”
***
The whoosh of the hearth letting someone through was quickly followed by two high-pitched squeals. By two very excited cries of, “Daddy!”
Harry smiled to himself when he heard Draco's laughter coming from the living room as he—presumably—was tackled to the floor by Albus and Scorpius.
“Boooys,” Harry called after a moment. “Come grab some cookies from the kitchen!”
A few seconds later, the two five-year-old tornadoes were rushing toward the tray, barely sparing Harry a glance. Harry shook his head, grinning.
“Where's my hug?”
“Daddy!” Albus, face already full of crumbs, ran toward Harry's arms. “Your cookies are the best!”
“Mmh!” Scorpius agreed.
“I'm glad you like them.” Harry ruffled Al's hair. “Do save some for later, though!”
Draco walked in, grabbed a cookie. “How are your mums?” he asked while he gave Harry a sonorous kiss on the cheek, the crumbs on Draco’s mouth scratching against his stubble.
Harry was about to complain when Albus stretched his arms out, asking to be picked up.
“They have a date today,” he—quite loudly—whispered in Harry's ear.
“Do they, now!”
“A date in a restawant with candles and a lot of different forks,” Albus explained. “And—and they were wearing really pretty dresses!”
“Really? What colour?” Draco asked, picking Scorpius up too.
“Mum's was red,” Scorpius said. “And mummy's was, uh, it was really pretty, and—”
“And sparkly!” Albus squealed. “Black and sparkly!”
“Wow! I don’t think Draco and I own anything so pretty!” Harry turned to Draco. “What do you think?”
“Hmmm…” Draco dragged the sound out, sharing a mischievous look with Scorpius. “I’m not sure… I think we might have some sparkly garments hidden in the back of our wardrobe, but I’m sure Al and Scorp won’t be interested in—”
“We want to see!” Scorpius screamed, wiggling in his father’s arms.
“We want to see, we want to see!” Albus chanted.
Harry and Draco shared a smile.
“Very well, then,” Draco said solemnly, setting Scorpius down. “Let’s see which of you can find the prettiest clothes in our bedroom for us to wear today.”
The kids darted upstairs, and, before following them, Harry took Draco’s hand in his and kissed his husband’s cheek in return.
#OTPshipper98#Drarry#Drarry fic#Drarry squad#Harry Potter#Draco x Harry#Astoria x Ginny#how would you call this ship?#Astinny#that doesn't sound right XD#Pregnancy tw#chess players plase don't murder me if I got chess wrong#I have literally never played it aslkjglks
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What does happiness look like?
Includes: Kuroo
Genre: Angst, a tad of fluff
Warnings: cheating?
A/N: Mwuah Happy? What happy?
Cold and trembling, he was submerged into the freezing water up to his collar bones. Head resting on the dull coloured wall tiles of his bathroom, kuroo stared aimlessly at the edge of his tub. Chapped lips and a bored gaze on his pale face that night. Why cant we just be happy? To be obliviously happy. What did happiness even look like anymore? Was he even worthy of happiness?
These questions constantly seep their way into his head and like the overthinker he was, he’d spend hours remaining in the cold water pondering on when he was every going to see the light again. Bathing for decency. As he stood up from his position, he sneaked a peek at the autumn sky in the small compact window on top of his bathroom. Though his body was telling him to quickly cover himself, he simply took his time wearing clothes, still dazed. The moaning and groaning of his stomach, though not new, did not fell into deaf ears as he had thought to walked over to the local ramen shop to get something to eat. It wasn’t foreign for him to feel that as he had been doing that for a while. Eating just to survive. He pockets his keys and looks over at the jersey he was supposedly proud of. Framed with a picture of his previous volleyball team beside it. The smile he has on his face with the sweat dripping down his brow. Staying alive just for the sake of being alive.
What face will he make when he sees what happiness looks like again? The clicking of the door echoed telling him that he could go already. Once again taking his time, he admired the view of the night all the while not noticing the fumbling bike about to crash at him. In a swift moment he had barely moved aside as the bike had coming crashing into the pile of garbage cans. The loud crash scaring the kittens that have been concealing themselves using the bins and bags. “Im fi-hay-ne” she slurs through her loud announcement of her state while trying to pick herself up from the rubble.
“I wasn’t asking-“ “Well that’s mean! Didn’t your mother teach you to help those who needed it?” She banters while patting herself to rid of the dirt, though that did nothing to the stench that she now had on her. “You dont seem like you need help though...” his voice was in between a low growl and mumble. “Ha?! Look at this boy! Not even helping a lady! Who raised you?” She starts grumbling, picking up her bike and trying to get back on, ultimately failing. The night was so dark that only the light post was illuminating the way, looking at the ill mannered girl, he had finally gotten a good look of her face.
Scrunched up nose with stars for eyes, clearly scratched and a bit of filth layed on her soft cheeks. Her brows furrowed to the center and sweat glistening on her forehead. Cutting through his admiring thoughts” Then let me help you. My apartment is near by” he utters, seemingly regretting this but accepting the situation when she turns to him with a toothy grin and runs close him.
She smelled of garbage and oil, amusing him though she starts rambling about her day.
Wow she actually thinks I care...Hmmm...when will she even stop talking? At least she’s not awkward, I guess? What is she even talking about? “-So there I was right? He was trying to talk me into letting him eat me while I was on my period. Calling me his little ketchup packet-“ “HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT?!” A hyena like laughter emits from his lips. When was the last time he even laughed like this? His grabbed onto his sides and cackled the night away. The night, the moment he looked at her...
His eyes relaxed and a small smile to his dry lips, that was the face he had when he had finally seen what happiness looked like again.
The face he had made everyday since then.
“Tetsu! Look at the kitten mugs! We should get some! It looks great!” “Y/N, we dont need-“ “LOOK! They even have nekoma themed mugs! And fukurodani ones! These are great! Did you know I actually went to fukurodani?” Her blabber was a tune that was constantly stuck to his head now. Watching her bring the mugs to the counter, he quickly hands his card to the register without her protest...well up until “I could have handled that yknow?” Another one of her famous complaints. Who knew happiness was a small woman in an old jacket and was as aggressive as a chihuahua?
“Fine, then you can buy the tea, kitten?” The raven offered as she feels her cheeks grow warm at the nickname. “Of course Im paying for tea, idiot!” Hurriedly grabbing her shopping bag and walking to the entrance that kuroo had opened for her. Walking side by side while munching on the weird convenience store they had both decided on.
“I like these! We should buy more next time, no?” Gasping at the delicious snack.
“Make yourself at home...” “Will do, sir~” she enters his apartment so casually and places the mugs down. Plopping down on her, self-proclaimed, spot while the rooster haired male had set up his kitchen for some tea she sets up the show they were going to watch. Spotting some packets of convenience store food, the smaller girl stared at them and started arising from her seat.
Kuroo felt small arms wrap around his waist and a cheek to his back. “Tetsu...” “Yes, kitten?” Replying with a teasing voice however regretting it as soon the male realizes what was happening. “I told you not to eat convenience store food anymore!” She scolds. Sigh It was a sight to behold. A 6ft tall man saying sorry to a smaller female, who was not even his lover, scolding him of not taking better care of himself. Though after all has been said and done she brings him to a cuddle on the couch. “Im just scolding you because I lov- ehem I..aughh I mean be-cause... you aren’t taking care of yourself again...you idiot” The last part sounding almost like a whisper. He was safe, content and most of all happy.
Recalling the questions he once had in his head.
Who knew happiness looked like her? An aggressive small girl who was way too confident.
A certain warm light to her eyes. Brow always dripping with sweat. She was fierce and weirdly competitive in things that don’t really matter.
‘Who could eat the most mochi?’ ‘Who could finish their tea first?’ Most of which the former captain would entertain. Happiness looked like her whenever she would run after the birds at the park and giggle at their “Cowardice” to face her.
Happiness sounded like her odd stories and her voice shouting at the store owner to haggle with her. She was happiness. She was his happiness.
He knew in himself that he liked her of course. Through his ups and downs they were together. The convincing him to go to classes. Y/N constantly riding up to his apartment just so she made sure he would actually go. Her constant “Good morning”...the...
“Tetsu, come on. It’s a great day to go to do something after classes!”
“OI! WHAT ARE YOU EATING?! You think rice is cheap? Ha?! Eat the food I made! No more instant noodles!”
“It’s okay. Let it all out. Im here. Your feelings are valid, okay?”
“Hey tetsu, I bought some Grilled Salted Mackerel pike!”
Until it became...
“Kitten! Let’s go to the beach!”
“Hey! Eat your food! It’ll get cold yknow?”
“Chibi-chan! You can’t even catch up!”
“Do you need help with that one? Here you do it like this...”
“Y/N, kenma said we’re meeting up at the cafe near the station. Wanna get ready at 10?”
“Hey shut the fuck up! She can wear whatever she wants. You’re just a pervert if you think you’re allowed to cat call her just for wearing clothes, ass hole”
Coming back to his younger, more passionate self. The happiest and the best version of himself, he thought that through this he was at least worthy and deserving of being loved by her.
However not everything is perfect. There were days where Y/N couldn’t even stop by. She was tired and she needed to rest for herself. Kuroo understand that but lately she was a bit too busy.
Was she busy? He wouldn’t have doubter her if...he hadnt..He saw her walking out of campus with a guy that day. More specifically the school’s counseling president.. She was so nice. Nice to everyone. Even to people like that. She was even nice to him. Him. He wasn’t even anybody. He was nothing and she was everything. He hated to think about it but...Maybe she just did that out of pity. She’s so nice that she would do that. Who was he?
Who was he to be important? He wasn’t a president of anything. He was just himself. Was he even worthy enough that she takes care of him to such an extent? What could he do for her though?
The sudden creak of the door alerts him, his sharp eyes meet Y/N’s frame holding a bouquet of flowers. “Oh hey can you help with these? The guys at the committee bought them for me as thanks but I honestly like gardens more hahaha Still sweet though” Taking off her shoes and handing him the big bouquet of red to pink roses. He could have done much better. She didn’t even like their stupid bouquet.
“There’s a green house tea house thing close to my university. Wanna go then? I mean Im going to be dropping some stuff off at my locker so-“ “Really?! Sure!” An excited squeal came from her lips while she stepped in and occupied the majority of the couch in a deflated or one might say tired pose.
“Please pick from our flower charms!” The host to the tea shop announcing enthusiastically at the duo. Normally the two would have picked different flowers however captivated by certain flowers with bright pink petals that point to the sky. Cyclamens with small papers which read “Fight for your love”.
Just like fortune cookies.
Well what do you know? Passionate love then? What a coincidence due to the situation. To fight for your love.
Being seated at their booth, both had looked around the place. Clumsily piled high with beautiful plants and the sun light almost seemed too perfectly placed. Y/N looked as if she belonged there. With the flora decorating her, one would have considered her a fairy. “You look...N-nice...kitten” stuttering to even find the right things to say.
Under the table...
She had gently inched her small fingertips to touch his calloused ones. Holding at least a portion of her hand. Soft ,comforting and happy. When the tea had arrived Kuroo had only taken a small sip until he rejected the floral drink completely. “You know Chrysanthemums actually means Loyalty and patience? It’s really cool!” With the tea’s edge to her slightly parted lips, the young female had taken a quiet sip.
She enjoys the date with her hand completely clasped in his under the table. Shoulders touching and giggling at whatever kuroo was showing her on his phone. It was literal paradise. Beautiful flora, wonderful food and amazing her. It was perfection in a moment. The sun’s afternoon light striped through her hair and a portion of her cheek. Magic.
It was all until she had started squirming and gripping his hand tighter. “T-tesu...I ughh...I like someone. It’s this guy and...he...I think he might be the one, tetsu! He buys tea with me and holds me like Im home...”
So he was right. He was correct this time. He was so used to being wrong that right now being right felt like a punishment. Tetsuro though that he was the only one who he did those things with. So right and so wrong at the same time.
The little glimmer of happiness in him slightly fading.
He was just there because she pitied him.
He hated it but he didn’t say that, he couldn’t. He had his signature grin on as he knuckles her hair he says something along the lines of “You! You’re going to scare him off! Hahaha! You’re so stubborn too, chibi-chan!”
The laughter was sweet as the tea he had refused to drink. A few moments later the male had left saying that he had to relieve himself though he barely drank anything.
1: 02 PM
3: 27 PM
“Miss, would you like me to sit with-“ “Oh? Oh! No! Sorry! Im actually with someone. Im just waiting for him”
“Oh sorry! I thought you were alone”
6: 12 PM
8: 45 PM
“Umm...miss, we’re actually going to close now”
...
“Hello? Tetsu-“ “This number cannot be reached. Please try again-“
“UGH! I am so kicking his ass when I see him! Ditching me like that!...” Shuffling to gather her things and hurriedly asking for the bill. She leaves the moment she’s cleared and in search of the rooster head male.
Meanwhile the male was in the library ever since. Trying to simply clear his head. Trying to understand what had just happened. Recalling the exact moment that you weren’t his anymore. When a woman in a skimpy outfit had cat called him when he was about to leave. Something about how he looked well hung. Livid, he grabbed her to the side which she obliged in.
This was wrong.
Though why would he care? He was always wrong. The one moment where he was correct he was also wrong. He clenched his fist and forcibly bit his lips.
He was cringing at all of this. Y/N was supposed to be his and yet...She had to choose...and she chose someone who deserved her love.
The disgusting moans of the woman he was making out with at the alley way. Hungry, disgusted and furious. His touches were rough and almost hurting her.
Again, why would he care? Y/N didn’t even like him! He was only taken care of out of pity! He was nothing! All he was...was wrong.
Empty and wrong.
He took it all out on the innocent girl’s cunt. Kuroo called out for her. Her nickname.
Grasping and groaning ‘kitten’. Balls deep in this bitch he picked up from the street when his phone started ringing.
The light of his screen illuminating them.
On the other side of this though...Y/N was walking to his apartment to see if he was there. Also just as livid. Tear stained. Her mascara smudged. No longer looking like a fresh flower. A wilted yellow carnation to her hair while her hands fumbled with her phone. She felt betrayed. She felt useless. It took so much for her to even confess! She had to time everything! To the hand holding and intimate touches.
Even rejecting the council president because of him!
He was a jerk! Why would he even invite her to a date if he was just going to ditch her?
Was she the one in the wrong this time though? Did he even like her? Why would he just invite her?
Did she misunderstand? Were they just friends?...
Finally confessing to him and he just-...mid step. Her head just momentarily looking to the side, to the alleyway. When a familiar figure was illuminated by a screen’s light in his pocket. A familiar figure with a familiar ring tone in a foreign situation. The flower on her hair dropping to her worn out shoes.
It was like a blink. Like a flicker of the light. It was at least just 2 seconds when she saw it.
There he was. Frustrated, grinning, calling out for his ‘kitten’ and balls deep in a girl she has never even seen before.
Taglist: @boosyboo9206 @kuroos-babie @yamaguchi-stan @janellion @cthuroo (thank you for helping me I love you) @my-mass-hysteria @zoppzoop
#hq kuroo x reader#kuroo x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu kuroo x reader#haikyuu#hq#haikyuu!!#anime#hq anime#anime series#haikyuu nekoma#haikyuu angst#hq nekoma#hq angst#haikyuu kuroo#haikyuu kuroo tetsuro#hq kuroo tetsuro#hq kuroo
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Can I get a Mafia au with Leo? 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Leo mafia au
Leo x g/n reader
Mutants are a regular occurrence in this story so, you know, people are used to seeing them around.
I know there isn't much about the mafia side of things in this one but I got carried away and now I'm definitely going to be writing multiple of these, so there will be more mob stuff in future chapters.
Summary: how you meet leo
Warnings: sleazebags, mild harrasent
To you it was just another normal Saturday in New York city. When you awoke that morning you did everything as you normally would. You got up and grogily made your way towards the bathroom for a morning shower.
Once out of the shower you got dressed, made yourself a cup of ( your favorite beverage) and left for work.
You worked as a waiter/waitress in Brooklyn at a small mom and pop style restaurant. You knew that it was right in the middle of mob territory but you didn't care very much because they paid well.
You usually didn't work on weekends, but your co-worker John was unable to come in due to a last minute emergency and you agreed to cover his shift.
The first two hours of the shift were uneventful, the restaurant wasn't too busy and you had just finished serving a lovely elderly couple, who tipped you generously.
As you continued waiting the tables a group of tall mutant turtles came in and sat down in your section.
The first thing you noticed was their stature, they all towered over everyone, as all but one of them were probably over 6 feet tall. They were all muscle; you thought about how they definitely did quite a bit of working out.
The next thing you noticed was how they were dressed. They all wore nice expensive looking suits that looked as if they had been tailored to fit them perfectly. Each one of them had a different colored tie.
The shortest of the four wore an orange tie and a cheeky smile upon his face. He had his tie undone and looked like the most approachable of the group.
One of the taller turtles, who wore a purple tie, was wearing a pair of glasses that you could only describe as fitting. His eyes were glued to his phone while he listened to the others talk. With the glasses he looked smart, but you wouldn't be able to confirm this until you talked to him.
The turtle with the most muscle wore a red tie and was intimidating to say the least. If you looked up the word masculinity in a dictionary you would find his picture next to it. He had an annoyed look on his face as he listened to the one with the orange tie talk about something.
The last of the group you would definitely say was the handsomest of the group. He wore a blue tie and was built well. You noticed that he was not joining the others at the table, instead he had walked towards your bosses office. You thought on this briefly before moving on and continuing to take the orders of your current customers.
After a couple minutes the tall, handsome turtle in blue emerged from your bosses office with your boss not far behind. The turtle went and joined his companions as your bossed walked in your direction.
Suddenly your boss pulled you to the side. " (y/n), your covering John's shift today right?". "Yes, I am", you responded, "why do you ask?". Then your boss responded, "You see that table over there," they said while nodding in the direction of the table that the four terrapins were sat at, "they are extremely important people and they are dangerous, so be careful and don't mess anything up. You hear me!" Your boss said.
"Dangerous? What do you mean by that? Who are they?" You asked curiously. Your boss looked at you with an exasperated expression upon their face, "Who they are isn't important," they say with a shake of their head, "all you need to know is that you shouldn't mess anything up and that you should be careful," Your boss tells you, "Now go take their orders before they get tired of waiting." And with that you made your way towards their table, only a little nervous about taking their orders. If your boss said someone was important then they were important.
"Hello," you said with a smile, "my name is (y/n) and ill be your server today," You said. As you looked up at the four of them you were only startled for a moment when you met the piercing blue gaze of the turtle in blue. Quick to recover you continued, "What would you like to drink today?"
The one in orange was quick to reply, "I'd certainly like a tall glass of water like you, angel cakes." He said with a wink. The others just rolled their eyes, obviously used to his flirting. You just giggled and responded, "I,m sorry, im not on the menu." You said with a blush.
They all looked a little surprised at this. The big on had a devilish smirk on his face, the one with the glasses stopped looking at his phone for a moment and laughed, while the tall one in blue had a small smile grace his features. The orange one just laughed as he continued with his order, "I'll just have an orange soda, angel cakes." He said. You then turned to look at the others awaiting their drink orders.
"I'll have a coffee, black," the one in glasses said, not looking up from his mobile device. "And ill have a glass a Dr.pepper." The big one with the red tie stated in a thick Brooklyn accent. Then you turned to the last one looking at him, patiently awaiting his order. "I'll have an ice raspberry tea this evening, miss/mr. (y/n)" he stated in a sweet tone. "Okay, ill be back with those in a moment." Then you walked away to go get their drinks.
When you returned the four of them seemed engrossed in a conversation, so much so that it took them a minute to realize that you were there. Once they did realise that you are there they quickly stopped talking. You dropped of there drinks and politely told them that you would be back in a bit to take their orders.
A couple minutes later you returned to their table. "What would you all like to eat today?" While you had expected them all to give you individual orders for meals, this did not happen. Instead the one in blue said, "We'd like the biggest sized pizza you've got, please." So you wrote that down and went to give their order to the chef.
After you had gotten them their pizza and dropped it off at their table you moved on to a table of men who had just come in, who weren't seated too far from the colossal terrapins.
"What can I get for you gentlemen today?" You said. "Oh, If you wouldn't mind I'd love to have some of you. What do you say, baby?" One of them said with a sleazy smile while trying to grab at your thigh under the table. Unlike the light flirting you had received from the orange turtle, this man's flirting seemed sinister and was unwelcome. In response to him you swatted his had away and stated as politely as you could, "No thank you, im not interested. I meant what would you like to eat and drink."
"Oh don't be like that baby." The same man said as he continued to try and harass you, his friend snickering at your obvious discomfort. "Please stop sir, im not interested." But no matter what he wouldn't let up.
All of a sudden a fist came into view and the man had been grabbed by the shirt and lifted into the air by the turtle in blue. "They said no pal," he said with a menacing growl, " you're gonna apologize to this nice server here and then your going to leave understand?" The man, too scared to reply, quickly nodded his head in agreement. Then he was let down, as soon as his feet touched the ground he murmered a quick apology and made his way towards the exit, followed by his buddies.
You were breathing heavily from the shock of how quickly everything happened but you turned to the tall terrapin and gave thanks, "Oh my gosh thank you so much... um, sir, i-" the turtle cut you off " Leonardo." He said, "Uh, what?" You questioned. "My name, its leonardo." He stated. "Well then, thank you very much Leonardo for standing up for me, a total stranger, like that."
He smiled at your apology, a real smile and you couldn't help but think about how you wanted to see him smile all the time. " No thanks is nessesary, I just don't like seeing scum bags like that trying to take advantage of a beautiful/handsome thing like you." He said suavely. You blushed at his complement, some how his smile got bigger.
Then you were walking back over to his table with him. " Thank you again." You said. He just shook his head at that, while sitting back down. His companions seemed shocked at the events that had just transpired. "Oh, (y/n), these are my brothers; Michelangelo, Donnetello, and Raphael" he said motioning towards them each while saying their names. They only looked shocked for a brief moment before it seemed like something clicked in all their minds simultaneously. " Hello again, its nice to meet you all officially." They all nodded in return.
Leonardo then pulled out his wallet to pay for the food. "No, I cant let you do that," you told him. " What! Why not?" He said while giving you a quizitorial face. "Because you stood up for me, as my thanks, your meal in on the house." You said while smiling at him.
"Does that mean I can order more food?" Michelangelo said. His answer came from his brothers in a chorus of, " Mikey!"
"Very well," Leonardo said, "but in return for the free food, you have to give me your number. Only if you want to of course." He added. You smiled at him and said, " thats not how its supposed to work, im supposed to be thanking you!" You said in exasperation, "but i suppose I could give you my number." He smile at your response.
So you wrote down your number and gave it to him. And with that they left and you continued your shift, all the while thinking about Leonardo and his smile. Wondering when you would see him next.
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I did it. Now I dont write, I draw so this is not gonna be so good. Its been through many revisions and I realized I spelt "Yuseke" as "Yueske the entire time so forgive me ill fix that next chapter. My Kuwabara x oc story:
It was finally cold again. Miyoko was overjoyed, she had never liked summer. Sure there was no school and she had more time with friends, but she couldn't stand the heat. She detested those sweaty nights, or how the bugs always bothered her, actually she didnt care for any part of summer.
Miyoko had dropped so many hints over the years and yet somehow, Kuwabara still had no clue. His air-headed-ness was cute, but it made things difficult for the shy girl Miyoko was. She just couldn't work up the nerve to say something, and when she did, something would always interrupt her. However, today she planned to change that! Miyoko got dressed up as cozy as she could, ready for what her and her friends had planned and with a gleam of excitement in her eyes, she headed out the door.
That was apart from going to see her crush, Kazuma Kuwabara's baseball games, he would play every summer. When they were younger, he played in an official team wearing his "Mötor Head" jersey and smoking every opposing team he played against. Miyoko never missed a single game! Every home run, every strike, and every fight that broke out because of a bad call, she was there. When they got older, she would be there to watch him play against his friends, still wearing that jersey. She was always supportive of him, she was madly in love with him, and had been for awhile.
"Urameshi!! Where do you think you're going?? I was talking to you!" Kuwabara's feet hit the sidewalk with force as he sprinted after Yueske, who had walked only a few feet, forcing Kuwabara to stop abruptly frantically trying to steady himself without falling. After regaining balance, Kuwabara grabed a fists full of his friend's jacket to pull him close aggressively.
"D-Dont tell anyone! Or I'll break your mouth, so you cant tell anyone nothin' ever again!!" Kuwabara's face was as red as the setting sun. Unfazed, Yuseke stared at Kuwabara blankly for a short second before sighing and shrugging the big flustered fool off of him.
"Listen man, I wont say anything. But this is getting really annoying. Ive told you before that you should just go through with it. Whats your problem with admitting to her anyways?" Yuseke looked to the helpless man and immediately regretted asking. Kuwabara looked off dramatically twords the orange and red sky. His shoulders slouched, slumping over, and fiddling with his hands.
"I....Shes really pretty, ya know? And...Im well...ya know?" His voice trailed off, as if wanting reassurance he was being foolish. When there was no reply, Kuwabara peeked up with a quivering bottom lip.
Yueske stood with his hands in his pocket saying nothing, only wearing a furrowed brow and tight lips. Suddenly, he burst into laughter. Causing Kuwabara to stand up straight and look at him even more embarrassed, and ready to punch him.
"I never thought I'd hear the great Kuwabara, warrior of love, admit to being ugly!!" Mocked Yueske. He bent over shaking his head and slapping his leg, resting his other elbow on his knee and laughing loudly. He straightened and wiped a fake tear from his eye. Kuwabara gasped in shock.
"What?? Ugly??" Again Kuwabara grabbed at his friend, this time missing and falling. He quickly got up and held up a threatening fists.
"Im not ugly!! Im just not a romantic type!!" He rubbed his fists on his chest.
"I am a warrior of love, so I know how to treat a lady and how to talks to girls, I just....." He paused, his mouth moving like hes trying to remember how talking works. "She's different!!" He finaly blurted out. "She reads them girly romance books that Kurama likes!!" With a frustrated grunt, Kuwabara rubbed his neck nervously and spoke in a much more serious tone.
"Ive known her a real long time, and I cant tell her yet cuz I'm kinda worried she only thinks of me like how Shizuru thinks of me." Yueske picked up on the seriousness of the situation and scoffed trying to lighten things up again.
"Well you are ugly, but I think she likes you anyway. Besides man, why asks me? You think I read them werid books?" Yueske pat Kuwabara awkwardly on the shoulder.
"No way. I asked cuz you have a girlfriend!!" Kuwabara turned to look at Yueske who was moving his arm away.
"So? Doesnt mean I know what im doing, just asks Keiko." The boys laugh, seeming to have calmed down a great deal. Before much more could be said, four familiar and approaching voices could be heard chatting playfully.
"Oh dear, you didnt actually take me seriously did you, Miyoko?" Botan said in a teasing tone.
"I did!! I'm gullible, you cant just tell me anything about spirit world.I will believe it!! Everytime!" The two girls laughed.
"I've noticed," Interjected Kurama. "You have managed to retained alot of attributes from your childhood haven't you? I find that interesting." Kurama continud, wrapping an arm around Botan.
"Alot of people say that...is that a bad thing? I'm not immature am I?" Miyoko felt nervous now. Maybe that was the why Kuwabara never seemed to return her feelings, perhaps she wasn't mature enough for a relationship.
Keiko quickly spouted, "No no! I don't think he meant it like that, I think it's cute!" Keiko put a reassuring arm around Miyoko and smiled a friendly smile.
"Ofcourse! Its an admirable trait." Kurama said as Botan giggled.
Botan wagged her finger and pointed it at Miyoko with a knowing smile "Im on to you! You shouldn't feel so insecure!" Botan pulled her arm back and used it to hug Kurama's arm. "Don't be so hard on yourself, I know you're simply nervous, so you're being extra critical of yourself, but you'll do fine!" Botan hummed encouragingly. "And, we all look fantastic!" Botan added as they all rounded the corner.
Keiko stopped dead in her tracks, and started tapping her foot. "Well, most of us are...Yueske! I thought I told you to dress up!!" Keiko pouted, walking over to her boyfriend's side.
Yueske was the most casually dressed out of all of them. Just wearing his usual faded blue jeans, black converse shoes, plain yellow shirt and favorite green and yellow windbreaker jacket. He looked even more underdressed standing next to Keiko. She was wearing a lovely pale pink turtleneck, a plum purple suspender skirt reaching to her knees, long white socks, and loafers to match her skirt. Despite their contrasting attire, they somehow matched perfectly.
Yueske wrapped his arm around Keiko's shoulder and smirked."Kuwabara isnt dressed up." He looked over to Kuwabara and nodded his way while jutting his thumb twords his friend.
"What!! I am too!! This is the nicest thing I got!! Other than like...a tux or something!!" Kuwabara wore a blue Letterman jacket, a red sweater with dark blue jeans, and brown dress boots laced in black, he was indeed dressed up quite nicely. Miyoko blushed at the sight of his clothing, he cleaned up nicely as always. She couldn't help but smile at him, it was always a slight surprise to see him out of his school uniform. Kuwabara had a simular reaction to Miyoko's choice of clothing. She dawned a wine red A-line dress, knitted black leggins, and shin high beige lace up boots. She wasn't one to dress up like this, but she wanted to tonight, it was a special night after all.
Trying to redirect the situation and prevent Yueske and Kuwabara from fighting, Botan chimed in. "Well, I never have to worry about Kurama when it comesto presentation! Unless ofcourse, he's overdressed and making me look a fool!" Kurama and Botan giggled to eachother looking the most put together, like they were the parents of the group. Tonight, everyone was going their part to help Miyoko's odds, evident by Botan, who was wearing something much different from her usual choice of clothing.
She modelled a white turtle neck dress, form fitting reaching just above her knees with a small slit on the right side, with sleeves that reached slightly past her palms, she wore her wedding ring, hoop earings, beige velvet tights, and blue slip on flats to top off the look. To match her, Kurama dressed just as nice. Wearing a white button up tucked neatly into his dark brown pants, red suspenders with red suede shoes laced in black, and a matching wool trench coat to top complete it all. Now everyone felt underdressed.
"So what are we doing anyway?" Yueske asked scratching his cheek. Keiko shook her head "Are you serious? You've been waiting around this long, and you dont even know why??" Yueske simpled shrugged "I guess?"
Botan sighed looking tired, Yueske was a handful for everyone. "Dont you remember, Yueske? I told you this morning! We're all having dinner!"
Botan motioned to the brick building everyone was standing next to. "You've been standing right next to the restaurant! Where I told you we would be meeting up, seriously! You didn't connect the dots?" Botan tilted her head with a hopeless look. Yueske gritted his teeth and roughly pulled Keiko by her hip to his, talking through his teeth. "Whatever!!" He sighed and let go of Keiko fixed his hair flustered, he brought his fists down onto his palm talking loudly. "So now that we're all here, can we go?? Im starving and you guys took all damn evening to get here!"
Keiko lightly kicked his shoe pouting up at him. "Hush!! Its not our fault you dont listen, besides you didnt even try to dress nice! So I dont feel sorry for you." Yuseke quickly stepped aside and raised his voice a bit "Hey! Didnt ya hear me?? I didn't know what was going on!!" Keiko roughly poked her boyfriend's chest, "Again, not our problem! Listen and you wouldn't have to worry!!"
Kurama was the first to put a stop to the bickering. He took a wide step twords the brick building and grabbed the glass doors handle, he opened the door and motioned for everyone fallow him inside.
So theres that. I'll write more soon. I hope its as fun to read as it was fun to write.
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Fast Forward
Chapter 19
“I think I should go.” You spoke quietly as you stood up from the table.
“Where?”
“I don’t know, anywhere… give you some space.”
“I don’t need space, sit down.” Taron protested and reached out for your arm, turning you back to face him. “You’re not the one who gets to walk away from this.”
“I’ve fucked it all up.” You repeated as you reluctantly sat back down.
“So fight to get it back on track!” Taron spoke harshly before shaking his head. “It’s like your heart’s not really in it. You’ve seen a way out and for some reason you want to make a run for it. It’s making me question why I bothered with any of this…”
“Because you’re a good person, that’s why. You’re amazing. Perfect! You’ll always go the extra mile and every time you do I seem to throw it back in your face.” Your hands rushed up to hide your face as you started to cry, feeling more vulnerable than ever to be having this argument in the middle of a restaurant. “Life is pretty scary for me right now, and my gut instinct is always to run. But every time I run I end up hurting someone I love, and someone who loves me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want you to be happy, but I keep hurting you.”
“Then stop running.” Taron replied as though it was the easiest thing in the world.
“How?” You looked up to him with half a laugh.
“Let me back in. You shut me out as soon as your Dad was ill.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing...” You paused as you realised how stupid you’d been. “I wanted to protect you from the stress and grief that I know comes as a package deal with my parents. I didn’t want any of that to affect you or hurt you.”
“But that would be my problem to deal with, if it was a problem at all. I get on well with your Dad and your Mum is just being protective, or something. I’m not going to hold that against her, she just needs some time to get to know me, and get to know us as a couple. But you won’t let that happen, you won’t give me a chance! I don’t understand why you’ve made it into such a big deal either.”
“Because I grew up with them, and spent years trying to get away. We’re not like your family at all. We don’t think the same way, deal with things in the same way, and we’re not nearly as close as your family is.”
“No two families are the same.” Taron sighed as he ran his hand over the top of his hair. “I wouldn’t compare or judge, I just want to be included and it shouldn’t be this hard.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Another long pause fell between you and this time you dared to glance over at Taron so you could see if you were making any progress. “I was being selfish and trying to keep you separate from all of that so I could still have you as my escape. You’re my happy place, Taron.” There was a hint of a smile that instinctively twitched at the corners of his lips as he heard you say it.
“I could have been so much more, but you never gave me a chance.”
“I’m sorry, and I’ll say it over and over. I can change things, I will give you a chance, I promise I will. I don’t want this to be the end of us.” Those last words were the ones Taron was waiting to hear.
“Thank you.” He replied simply.
“I’m sorry for ruining today as well. You’ve gone to so much trouble and I don’t deserve it, you deserve so much better!” You wiped your last tears from your cheeks and downed the rest of your prosecco.
“Well you can spend the rest of the day making it up to me, can’t you?” Taron reached out for your hand and let the cheekiness return to his eyes. You felt a long breath of tension release from your body as the atmosphere between you finally started to feel softer and warmer. “Stop hating yourself and start loving me.”
“I love you a ridiculous amount. To the point where I can’t think straight sometimes… Or walk straight.” You added under your breath. “I’m never keeping anything from you again because secrets and us are just… disastrous.”
“Agreed!” He laughed.
“So can we call this a clean slate?” You asked tentatively. “I’m not keeping anything else from you, and I promise to be completely honest with you about everything from this point forwards.”
“I can’t ask for anything else. Nothing but honesty.” You leant across the table to seal the fresh start with a loving and tender kiss which was eagerly reciprocated by Taron. “This doesn’t mean you’re completely off the hook with making it up to me for the rest of the day though.”
“I never presumed I was, your wish will be my command.”
“I’d better get thinking then.” He teased.
“I really fucking love you too, you know that?”
“I do.” He smiled softly.
“I know I don’t always show it, or do the right thing or whatever, but it’s never with bad intentions. I want you to be happy more than anything and the thought of us not working… god it makes me feel sick. I really, really love you, Taron.”
“I love you too. You can be a total idiot at times, but you’re my idiot and that’s the way it’s going to stay. Forever.”
There was a joint sigh of relief and a small smile shared between you now that everything was out in the open. You looked down to your hands which were still held together across the table and you rubbed your thumb softly over Taron’s skin, hoping that the rest of the day could be filled with better memories. Ones which could shrink that argument and make it feel like it never happened on your anniversary at all.
***
Tentative was the word that came to mind as you pulled the fluffy white robe around your body and stepped out of the changing rooms into the spa. The guilt you felt for hurting Taron again was lingering and it made you sad to still have the image of the pain in his eyes at the front of your mind. This couples massage was the last thing you felt you deserved, but you had to go into it with some form of positivity, just for him. Hopefully seeing each other relax would dissolve any last bits of tension between you.
You gave Taron a tight squeeze of a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek before you entered the private room together and hung up your robes at the side. Taron made sure you were settled face down on the massage table before he untied the back of your bikini top and moved the straps away from your skin. He started to softly massage the tops of your shoulders but soon gave in and nuzzled his face into the side of your neck.
“I always wondered why people weren’t allowed to massage each other in a couples massage, but I guess it’s way too easy to get more intimate than that.”
“Don’t give me ideas…” Taron mumbled into your skin. “You smell gorgeous today.”
“I’d start making things up to you now, but they’ll be in in a minute.”
You kept your head to the left, watching Taron lie down on the table next to yours and look back to you with a loving smile. It made you reach out into the gap between you, offering out your hand for him to take and as his fingers brushed against yours you knew this was going to be the perfect way to draw a line under everything. There was already a part of you that felt stronger for getting through it and out the other side.
“Love you.” You told him with an added pouted air kiss in his direction which made him scrunch his nose up in the most adorable way just as the door opened and the two masseuses joined you. They got to work in synchronicity, lighting a few candles around the room, spreading the oil across your skin and then working their hands into each of your muscles to release the tension you’d been holding onto for weeks. It was the neck and shoulders that got to you the most, the deep pressure working right into the knots and leaving you exhaling with a soft moan. The kind of moan that you knew Taron would want to hear again. He was no better, sighing as the masseuse worked down his back and then trying to disguise his giggle when he felt her hands practically on his bum. Having the experience mirrored was amazing. It allowed you to make mental notes of where on the body he carried his stress, you already knew where was sensitive, ticklish and easily aroused, but now you’d be able to massage each other and help release any future tensions that fell between you.
The massage was over way too soon for your liking, but the new atmosphere between you and Taron was incredible. His touch against your skin as he tied your bikini back up and then helped you up from the table was electric. His eyes seemed more handsome and charming than ever and you wanted nothing more than to stay completely lost with him until the end of time.
“Wow,” You spoke softly as Taron handed you your gown. “Can we book another one of those for tomorrow?”
“I don’t think we’d ever leave if we did.”
“That’s good with me.” You grinned as you reached up and took hold of the neck of his gown, pulling him in towards you so you could kiss him slowly. “Everything I need is right here.”
“Maybe some more privacy would be nice.” He giggled as he looked out the open door to see other spa-goers in the pool and hot tubs. “Our room for the night should be ready by now and there’s a treat or two waiting for you.”
“Oh yeah? But does it have a hot tub?” You asked as you walked out of the treatment room hand in hand with Taron and eyed up the steamy bubbles.
“It might do…”
“Does it!?”
“The quicker you get dressed again, the quicker you’ll find out!” He teased, leaving a final peck to your lips and no doubts in your mind that you’d be getting your own private hot tub to enjoy.
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What Type is He?
Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader
Words: 941
Warnings: fluff mostly
A/N: This is just a small thing because I was watching Gifted and I couldn’t help but agree with what’s her face when she said ‘he’s the quiet, damaged, hot guy.” I literally just wrote this and I didn’t check for spelling. About to go to sleep. Night people. And I am soooo not sorry for using that gif. How does anyone look this fucking attractive crying?? I need help obviously.
You were leading a group of visitors towards the exhibit they were asking about when your friend came running and slapped your arm.
“Ow what’s your problem?” You pushed her away before returning to your desk at the center of the museum entrance, trying to ignore your friend for as long as possible.
“He’s here again.” She squealed and tried to make you look towards one of the benches.
“Who’s here? Why are you being so creepy all of a sudden?” You grabbed some flyers and walked past her to the board near the entrance, wanting to pin them for people to read. “Can you just fucking pay attention for once?” She slapped you again and you turned around ready to yell at her.
“I swear to god Jess if you keep distracting me I will ask Kathy to switch my schedule because I honest to god cannot afford to lose my job right now.”
“Just stop with the dramatic speeches and look at him.” You sighed in defeat and followed her gaze, eyebrows raising unintentionally when you took in the specimen not a hundred feet away from you. “See, I told you.” She laughed when you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. He was standing by himself, a small notebook and a pen in his hand. He seemed to be scratching something off of the paper and you tried to make out his face from under the cap but couldn’t get a proper look.
“Have you spoken to him before?”
“Oh god no I would never. I’m only telling you because he’s more your type than mine.” She took the flyers from your hands and headed to the board, knowing very well you were distracted now.
“What type is he?” You finally managed to look away from him, staring at your friend for a response.
“Oh you know, he’s the quiet, damaged, hot guy type. And, he drives a motorcycle.”
“That is not my type!” You defensively replied and she told you to quiet down. “Come on Y/N it’s like he crawled out of your dreams. Can’t lie to me babe we share Netflix and I know what you watch. No shame there.” She finished the flyers and told you to strike up a conversation with him.
“Ummm, hell no. That’s not happening. Last time I tried to chat up a guy, I ended up imitating a velociraptor for a joke and he just walked away. I mean who does that to a person? At least tell me you’re not interested. Then again, I probably should’ve st-”
“Oh oh oh he’s coming this way. Quick act normal.” She whispered quickly before turning around and walking the opposite direction, finding the same group of people you helped a few minutes ago who seemed to still be lost.
You looked up in time for him to stop right in front of your desk.
“Hi how may I help y-” As soon as you finally took a good look at him, your heart hammered at your chest. Of course the universe was out to make a fool out of you and force you into an awkward situation with none other than Captain America himself.
“Hey, I was wondering if you could point me to the Dada exhibit.” His eyes were bluer than you could even picture and it took you a few seconds to process his question. “Huh ummm uha yes it’s on the second floor right as you walk up those stairs.” You pointed to the stairs behind you and patted yourself on the back for a grammatically correct sentence. Sort of.
“Great thank you. A friend told me there is a urinal that attracts the most attention and I had to come to see if he was just playing with me.” He smiled and you almost swooned from the soft expression. But you could also see why your friend described him the way she did. Maybe she knew who he was and didn’t tell you on purpose.
“Oh he’s not wrong, unfortunately. You didn’t hear it from me but I think it’s the most unpleasant art movement in the history of art.” You fell into conversation easily with him and were surprised when he laughed at some of your jokes.
“Thanks for the help.” He smiled again and you watched him walk away from you, incapable of not staring at his ass. What a glorious ass. The ass of justice is what that was. You laughed at your childish thought and tried to get back to work when he came back.
“Oh and I hope your friend wasn’t wrong about me crawling out of your dreams...if I am your type after all.” Steve watched your eyes widen in horror at what he had just said and laughed, jotting down something quickly on a paper before sliding it towards you.
“I’ll be around for a while so let me know when you’re on break. I’d like to buy you lunch doll if that’s alright with you?” Steve waited a few seconds for a response and when you finally nodded at him, he winked at you before walking away.
You looked down and saw he wrote his number and his name next to it. As if you needed to ask for his name. Your friend came back and asked you about the conversation.
“I’m going to fucking kill you Jess and put you on display with the rest of the cavemen!” You calmly whispered before walking away from her with a dorky smile on your face. She didn’t need to know she just got you a date with Steve Rogers. For now.
#steve rogers x reader#captain america x reader#steve rogers fluff#captain america fluff#steve rogers fanfiction#chris evans#marvel fanfiction
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Expecting the Unexpected Part 5
After several weeks of finals and studying I had time to write Chapter 5 for you guys! I hope you enjoy :))
Warnings: So much fluff it’s gross, angst!!! Yeah that’s it.
Word Count: 4.7K
Summary: When Joe gets back from his recent business trip he notices something is up with your new little one. Can an urgent ER trip can change your lives for good?
You woke up to the warm touch of your husband’s hand spread across your back, his body close to yours. Your mind never stopped racing all night, the constant fear that when you revealed your daughter’s diagnosis to the world, that the fans would think of you both as failed parents. You worried for Joe’s career. How was this going to affect him? What if the backlash prevents his success?
The rapid pacing of your breath woke Joe from his sleep.
“Babe what’s wrong?!” He croaked worriedly.
Tears were slowly falling from your cheeks but no sound left your body. Your voice almost none existent. He cuddled you tightly into his arms, his chin resting against your head.
“Love please don’t cry. I hate to see you so upset, please talk to me. Your fear is my pain.” His pleading increasing.
“What if this ruins your career. What if you don’t pick up anymore jobs because the people think we failed our child. What if they send CPS on us and take Scarlet away. What if-“. Joe stopped you from your rant, his lips pressed against your forehead as his hand held your cheek.
“Don’t let your anxiety get the best of you my love. I know that this will be hard. I’m here for you every single step of the way. I’m not going anywhere and if I don’t get anymore jobs it’s not the end of the world. And I don’t think anyone would call CPS on us because our baby became ill.”
“But you love your work Joey. I cant be the reason it all ends for you.”
“Don’t ever say this is your fault again. Scarlet’s illness has nothing to do with our parenting. If I lose my jobs it’s not the end of it for me. Yeah I love my work but I love my girls more than anything else in this world. Nothing is going to change that.”
Your panic slowed as his touch calmed your body. His words slowly easing you back into your sleep.
Joe carefully shifted himself out of bed making sure he wouldn’t wake you up. His plan for the day changed when he saw you so upset. He quickly but quietly got dressed and left you a note to make sure you knew where he was. He wouldn’t be gone for long but didn’t want you to worry anymore than you already had been that morning.
He swiped the keys off the table and tip toed his way out of the hotel room making sure to give you a kiss before he left.
Joe’s steps were rushed as he made his way downstairs, doing his best to try and avoid the press since the cafe incident. He threw on his shades and slide right past the front desk out of sight and on his way to the car.
Before pulling onto the highway, Joe shot Ben a quick text.
Hey bud I’m on my way back to the house right now, do you think you could have Scarlet dressed for me when I get there? Y/N and I decided that we need to tell everyone. I cant have people bashing my family anymore Ben, I just can’t.
Yeah of course. Is Y/N ok?
I’m hoping after today that things will get better. It kills me to see her so upset.
I cant even imagine what you guys are going through. I’m so sorry Joe.
Yeah it’s rough, but we will get through it though I just know we can. I’ll be there in an hour or so, I have a few things I need to get.
No problem. I’ll have the little one all ready for you!
Joe set his phone in the cup holder just before taking off to his first stop. Considering the news you would be unloading into the world today, it’s only appropriate that the post should be as accurate as possible to avoid any questioning. For as long as Joe has been dealing with the press, he’s become quite the genius when it comes to addressing the public.
His plan was to get some flowers for you because as much as you tell him he is all you need, he loves to spoil you no matter how much you object. He picked up some of your favorite white peonies mixed with the brightest of yellow daisies. A couple of baby snacks and some coconut chips for you and Joe was on his way. Grocery shopping was usually a bit odd considering your husband was a well known actor since he was a child but most of the time he wasn’t recognized which made him at ease. Sure he loved the fans and always stopped to take pictures but something about today just made him want to avoid the media.
“Oh my these are so pretty! Special occasion i’m guessing?” The cashier asked with delight.
“Sure you could say something like that.” Joe responded with a small grin on his face.
“Wait I’ve seen you somewhere. You look soooo familiar! Aren’t you an actor?!” The girl’s tone become increasingly higher.
“I am actually yes. Just picking up a few groceries today though.” Joe’s mood slowly uplifting by the girl’s enthusiasm.
“You were in that new Queen movie right?”
“Guilty.” Joe said putting his hands up while laughing.
“You did so incredible! Very well rehearsed.”
The growing line of customers was soon pushing Joe out the door.
“Ahh thank you so much I really appreciate it. Have a great day!” He replied before making his way past the automatic doors.
He sneakily maneuvered his way past the press again before jumping in the car and on the road to your house. It had only been half a day and he was missing your little girl like nuts.
Just as he pulled into the driveway, he saw Ben standing there with your bundle of joy peacefully sleeping in his grasp.
“Geez if she wasn’t my kid I would have mistaken you for her dad.” Joe laughed.
“Woah man just doing my fun uncles duties, that’s all for now.” Ben proceeded to laugh with Joe.
Joe swiftly jumped out of the car and ran to hold his precious little one in his arms. Her touch drastically increasing his spirits as she rested her head against his chest, Joe’s breathing lifting her with each pace.
“So did you and Y/N have any fun last night?” Ben chimed in.
“Oh you don’t even know dude. You wish you could have those details don’t you.” They both began to laugh again. Joe’s chest slightly bouncing Scarlet’s head.
“So you’re gonna do it tonight then, reveal to all?”
“I have to man. I cant stand to see Y/N trying to blame herself for this. She thinks that she is gonna ruin my career because of Scarlet’s diagnosis. She keeps telling me it’s her fault and she won’t listen to me.” Joe’s eyes started to become glassy.
“Listen Joe, I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you guys but I’m always here to help with anything. I know i’m going back to England in a few days but I can always jump on the first flight out. She is my niece after all. I’d do just about anything for this kiddo.” He implies before gently rubbing his hand across her back, causing her to shuffle a bit in Joey’s grasp.
“Thank you Ben. For everything. I know it probably hasn’t been easy for you either. Watching us go through this and all. But I just don’t know how I can stop Y/N from blaming herself. She keeps seeing all those posts about the guys doing stuff and how the fans don’t think I have anything new coming up. It’s horrible seeing her this way, it just kills me.” Ben takes Joe and the baby in for a hug. He knows it’s what he really needs right now. He knows that Joe has been staying strong for Y/N even when he doesn’t have to.
“Listen. I’ll go back to England for a week or so just to get all my projects situated and then i’m flying to New York for the week to help you and Y/N with the baby. Isn’t her second treatment around that time?”
“Ben you don’t have to do all that for us. We can handle it.” Joe explained.
“I know you both are totally capable of doing this yourselves, but Joe you don’t have to. You have me and your mom, Y/N parents, the guys, heck the fans would even help if they could.”
“It’s just a lot to ask man. I cant have you putting your career aside for us.”
“You weren’t asking I was offering. Scarlet is my niece Joe and I want to be there for all of you.”
Joe stood there in awe. His best friend was willing to put his career on hold just to help your family when you need it the most. Just before Joe went to speak again, his pocket lit up and played your song. It was the one they played on your wedding night, a elton john song, considering how much you adored his music and Victim of Love was one of your favorites.
“Hang on its Y/N I have to get this.”
“It’s fine bro just go. I know you still have things to get done. We can talk more about this later, i’ll just lock up and be on my way.” Ben pleaded before walking back inside.
Joe quickly mouthed the words ‘Thank you’ to Ben before buckling Scarlet into her car seat.
“Hey baby is everything alright?” Joe answered frantically.
“Yes Joey everything’s fine, where are you?” You questioned, his note he left for you still lying by the bedside.
“I just ran out to do a couple errands I’ll be back in like half an hour.”
“Oh ok.” You whispered in a puzzled manner, confusion plastered across your face. I thought Joe didn’t have any work stuff this week?
“I love you darling. I’ll see you in a few. Don’t have to much fun without me.”
You giggled. Seeing as how much fun the two of you had last night, you knew exactly what he was referring to.
“How could I ever.” Your giggles echoing through the phone.
You pressed the end call button quickly after that before setting your phone back down by your side. Your half naked body still sprawled against the sheets. You couldn’t help but replay the pleasure you had just the night before. The way Joe handled your ever so fragile body with his. His touch comforting your every move as he guided you. His love so securing against your thoughts.
You unwrapped yourself from the silk sheets and stumbled your way to the bathroom for a quick shower, wondering what Joe had planned for the day.
Little did you know that Joe was heading to your favorite coffee shop before coming back to the hotel. The coffee shop was where Joe took you on your first visit to LA together while he was there for one of his short films with his friends.
He unbuckled Scarlet and bundled her up considering it was still somewhat chilly in California before heading inside.
“Ahh Mr. Mazzello! Here for the usual I presume?” Y/N’s favorite barista insisted to Joe.
“You know us so well.” Joe replied, pinching Scarlet’s chubby cheeks.
The service there was always incredible for the Mazzellos. We were, after all, frequent customers.
The barista swiftly slid your coffee across the counter with a small brown bag by its side.
“Wait what’s this?” Joe questioned the woman.
“For the little one. My son has stage 3 and i’ve become pretty prime in seeing the signs.” She gave Joe a sideways smile.
He knew he could trust her considering your relationship with the girl.
“It’s been a rough couple of months.” He sulked.
“I wish you guys the best, really I do Joe. Hugs to the wife for me.” She said before reaching out to Scarlet for a high five.
Although today might be one of the hardest days of yours and Joe’s life, it seemed as if everything was in your favor today. The people you ran into only want the best for you. The kindness in the world really shining through on the toughest of days.
Joe quickly buckled the baby back into her seat as she dozed off into her first nap of the day. The medication has really been taking a toll on her body lately. Joe drove around town for a bit longer than usual just to give Scarlet enough time to keep her out of the grumpy stage before pulling into the hotel parking lot.
He grabbed your beautiful baby girl out of her car seat and fixed up her bedhead before grabbing the rest of the bags from your car. With his hands quite full, Joe made his way to the elevators, juggling all the bags while trying to keep Scarlet from falling back asleep.
The loud ding of the elevator hitting the suite floor made Joe’s heart race. He couldn’t wait to see the joy on your face. His walk down the hall with your little one clinging to his chest lasted what seemed like an eternity to Joe, yet he enjoyed every moment with Scarlet. His steps becoming heavier as they inches closer to your door.
You could hear someone coming down the hall and have been anticipating when Joe will come back. Your love for that man was endlessly unconditional. Just as you go to pick up your phone, a light knock came from the front door. Your face became painted with excitement as you ran to the door and find your husband standing in the doorway, arms full of so many joyful things.
“Joey I-“ your words snatched from under your breath.
“I wanted to do this the right way Y/N/N. I want everything to be perfect and I wanted to make you happy and what better way than this cutie.” He exclaimed as he passed the baby to you.
“She is absolutely perfect isn’t she.”
“Oh I was talking about me being the cutie but I guess she can be too.” Joe barely managed to get out because of the enormous amounts of laughter spewing from his diaphragm.
Your eyes quickly met his as a tear sneakily ran down your cheek. Joe always found a way to make you happy, always. He set down all the stuff by the bed and wrapped you in his arms. Your head gently fell against his chest as Scarlet’s was rested on yours.
“This is all I ever wanted in life and you always manage to give me more. You really are the love of my life Joe Mazzello.” You expressed to him with a sweet tone.
“Until the day I die darling.” He smiled before placing a kiss against your soft, pillow lips.
Joe grasps your waist as you slowly sway from right to left, trying to ease your restless baby.
“I’m sorry we have to do this Y/N. I’m sorry that my life is so public that we can’t keep things for ourselves. I’m sorry that-“ Joey couldn’t even finish his sentence before you stopped him.
“Joey stop apologizing baby. This is your dream and you deserve to enjoy it. I knew what I was getting myself into when we got engaged. I knew it was going to be difficult to live with the press always up our ass. I knew it was going to be worse when Scarlet was born too, but that didn’t make me resent your dream love. We want you to be happy.” The words slipped off your tongue so easily just like the tears running down your cheeks.
Joe’s hand raises against your skin as his thumb brushes off the salty crystals from your under eyes. A few tears leave the corner of his eyes while you both just sway together, holding each other close, one of his hands warm across the arch in your back while the other rests against Scarlet’s auburn curls.
You gently rest yourself against the bed while Joe unpacks everything he brought for the day.
On your side table displayed the extravagant bundle of peonies with little pops of bright yellow speckles throughout the petals. The quiet snores of the fragile infant resting in your arms provided you with the happiness you so desperately craved for today. Her soft, rosy skin pressing against yours brought you so much hope and love every moment. You sat with Scarlet for a while, singing to her and swaying side to side as she rested between your legs, her eyes hardly staying open and her hand rested against her face with such beauty you didn’t understand how you could be so lucky.
Meanwhile, Joey was getting everything we needed for Scarlet’s checkup to make sure she was healthy enough to fly back home to New York. You could hear Joe quietly mumbling off a little check list so he didn’t forget anything, bless his heart.
“Blankets, check. Diapers, check. Uhh...what else, hmm. Oh can’t forget bunnie, what was I thinking.” Joe whispers slowly turned into his inside voice.
You couldn’t help but giggle to yourself. When Joe was concentrating it was really hard to get his attention and it always makes you laugh when he starts conversations with himself.
Scarlet’s appointment was in about an hour and Joe had finished up his ‘checklist’ a while ago. Joe had come over and laid down beside you before turning on some Tom Hanks movie, probably Turner and Hooch or something I can’t remember, but anyways, Scarlet was wide awake and was happily having some tummy time before we had to leave. Joe was switching between watching Scarlet and watching Tom run after Hooch for 30 minutes. The vibration from your phone pulled you from your distraction.
Appointment for Scarlet E. Mazzello. Confirming for 3:15pm on Wednesday, March 6th. REPLY WITH YES OR NO.
You quickly replied yes and returned to the fantasy sitting right in front of you. It was 2pm now and it only took about half an hour to get there so you let them entertain you for a little while longer. While Joe snatched the baby up for a quick diaper change, you thought you’d treat yourself to a quick pamper session before jumping in the car for Scarlet’s appointment.
You quickly rinse off in the shower before throwing on a warm peachy sundress with white lace on the top. You went with a little look for makeup, peachy eyeshadow maybe a little bit of concealer to hid the stress bags under your eyes. Joe was watching you from the doorway as he put Scarlet on the ground for more tummy time.
He used his Eugene Sledge voice on you to catch your attention, which always drove you mad.
“Now how does a pretty little lady like you end up here in the arms of a marine.” He imitated, grabbing your hand to twirl you into his grasp.
“Why how on earth could I resist such a brave man like yourself?” Your southern accent kicking in.
“Well if you don’t mind me askin’ ma’am but would you like to dance with a man like myself?”
“How could I say no? You are the best man to walk into my life you know that.” You reply, breaking character.
Joey’s lips soon crashed into yours with the most passionate kiss, his hands resting in the arch of your back as yours soon glide up to his neck. A small squeak came from the ground which pulled you from your distraction. There a few feet in front of you was your tiny little baby resting on her tummy trying to push herself up, but this time she was a few feet over.
“Did she just-“ you asked Joe in confusion of the sight in front of you.
“I don’t... Did she?” He replied back.
You both crouch to the floor as you admire your chubby mini me pushing herself off the ground. Joe rests his hand on your thigh as Scarlet gets further and further from the floor and is in full stance position. Within seconds Scarlet was slightly pushing herself across the floor towards you.
“Joey she just-... Oh my gosh Joey she just did it!”
“Scarlet you crawled for the first time baby girl.” Joey spoke with delight and pride in his words as he lifted her up into the air.
You admired as you watched your husband celebrate this monumental moment with you in your daughter’s life. How even though she’s sick, she still will grow up to be the bright little girl we wish for her to be.
Joe’s lips met yours once again, but this time with a taste of joy and relief. He set the baby gently on the playmate again before helping you up on your feet and pulling you back into his arms.
“We’re gonna be alright darling. She’s the strongest little girl in the world, not even the fans can take that from us.” Joe comforted you.
His hands held your waist tightly while you both stared down at your newly crawling baby scooting across the floor. You glanced at Joe’s watch to find that it was 2:40 and that you might be late for Scarlet’s appointment.
“Baby we better get going, or we’re gonna be late.” You nervously insisted to Joe.
He nodded and paced off to grab the diaper bag and got the car ready while you threw a few loose curls in your hair and finished getting the baby ready. You thought that since this would be how you were going to tell the world about Scarlet, she would at least need to be adorable, as if she already isn’t. You dressed her in an orange long sleeve onesie, considering she has been getting cold much easier, and a light grey beanie but making sure to keep her light auburn locks peeking out on the sides. Joe brought the car seat in and got the baby situated while you finished cleaning up the bathroom.
Rushing out of the house, Joe opened Scarlet’s door so you could buckle the car seat in. He went to lock the front while you got into the other side. You noticed all the things Joe had bought for you and how he brought you so much joy in every situation. You swirled your decaf coffee as Joey hopped into the drivers side and drove down the hills of Calabasas.
You loved how Scarlet almost admired the things outside the window. Her small mind always looking to wonder about the world. Her curiosity always brought you joy, all the both of you could hope for before she was born was that she would be happy, healthy, and adventurous just like the both of you.
Joe whipped into the parking lot just before 3:10 and you scrambled to get everything put away while Joe grabbed your sleeping child from the backseat.
By the time you got inside, Joe was signing in the baby and quickly joined you. A couple minutes went by before the nurse called you all back and brought us to our normal room.
She examined Scarlet as usual, checking all her levels, drawing a bit of blood which she will never grow fond of, and this time inserting an IV before leaving to grab the doctor. The worry was painted on your face from across the room.
“I assure you there is nothing to worry about Mrs. Mazzello. This is just to make sure she is hydrated and it also pushes in some other medications from the chemo that keep her systems healthy and keep her happy.” She explained for reassurance.
You gazed at your sleeping child from the seat across the room. Joe had gone for a quick business call while you waited for the doctor to come in. The way the room was set up was perfect, the doctors always let you keep things in the office because of the time you have had to spend here while Joe is on work trips. It made the room feel a bit more homier each time. Lucy added a few things to the window sill the last time we were here. She insisted that she come to an appointment to do anything she could.
The slight creak from the door pulled your from your thoughts and your attention was drawn to its hinges. Luckily it was just Joe.
“Jesus Joe you scared the shit out of me.” You panicked.
Joe couldn’t stop himself from laughing in the corner, his face turning a shade of pink. He makes his way to you as he apologizes and kisses your sweet lips. His gaze is pulled to your snoring angel, sleeping away on one of the large pillows from the day bed.
“I think this is it love. This is how we should tell them.” Joe persisted.
“Scarlet sleeping by the windowsill? Don’t get me wrong it’s adorable but is that really how?” You questioned.
“Think of it from a film makers perspective. Scarlet lying on the bed sound asleep while being treated for the illness she is going to beat with the support from everyone around her. Also the aesthetic in here is just gorgeous too.”
You giggled.
“Thank Lucy for that one. She’s the decoration queen.”
He grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. You handed him your Canon from the chair and let him work his magic. It took him one angle, one shot, to find the perfect explanation for her story, our story.
You gazed at the glowing screen in front of you. The photo was stunning. Each section telling a piece of the story so vividly but also dramatically. This was how the world was going to find out.
Joe downloaded the photos while the doctor came in and discussed how Scarlet’s treatment was beginning to work and that a few more months of chemo and she would be looking at a good recovery.
Once Joe had finished the photo editing and showed you, it was everything it was supposed to be. You held your baby with such joy and love as each moment of reveal became so much closer.
Joe wrote out the post and proceeded to read you what it said.
To our daughter, Scarlet E. Mazzello. We know that life has been rough in the first few months of your life, but we want you to always remember that everyone loves you and will support you through every step of the way through this journey with us by your side sweet girl. Our baby girl was diagnosed with Stage 2 Pilocytic Astrocytoma, a rare form of childhood brain cancer. She has been receiving treatment and is recovering from each fight with a giggle and a smile. We apologize for keeping such a thing secret from the public but wish for time to spend with our baby out of the public eye. We also wanted to say a very grateful thank you to everyone who has been extremely understanding and supportive through the last few weeks.
A tear slid from you cheek as Joe wipes it away.
“It’s perfect Joey. Post it.”
His thumb tapped the blue arrow and the secret was out. Everyone was going to know. Everyone.
You get a sudden rush of relief as you held your baby close between you and Joe. Her gorgeous hazel eyes gazing up at you two, not knowing a thing about what’s happening. Joe pulled you close to him as he coddle the little one alongside you.
“So what’s next?” He questioned his eyes fixed on Scarlet.
“We beat the hell out of this cancer.”
“Agreed.”
You all remained close for what seemed so little of time. Enjoying each other’s company and watching you daughter discover the simplest of things. Everything seemed normal again, or what seemed normal for the time being.
Taglist:
@deakyspuff @radioxtaylor @everybodyplaythegame @winnielinleigh @slutfordeacy-mazello @benmeadowstaylor @super-heros-are-my-life @ixchel-9275 @onehystericalqueeen @queens-n-roses @soberandfurious @sevenseasofky @toger-raylor @sincereleygmg @mrsmazzello @myfreakydeaky @readdyyfreddie @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank @misterbrianmay @heartsarecompatible @okiegirl120491 @imagines-xxx @classypaintercolorcowboy @rogersradio @sssmileyriley @florenceivy @dr-tim-murphy
Thank you all for your endless patience I love you and enjoy😘
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V. Sungjin - Bet
Characters: Sungjin x You
Genre: enemies to lovers!6
Warning: some cursing and swearing
Credits: @7abshy and @parkjaeins; for helping me figure out how annoying teachers can be
Words: 5k
Description: There is always more than meets the eye
Author’s note: This wraps up the enemies to lovers!6 series :) I hope you’ve enjoyed all 5 of them!
-----
I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, shit!
You repeatedly mouthed the words to yourself under your breath as you squeezed past the throng of people crowding the hallways, occasionally throwing an apology across your shoulder if you bumped into someone. Opting to not take the front entrance into the lecture hall, you ran up flights of stairs to reach the back entrance. By the time you reached the top, you were gasping for breath, your thighs were burning and you could feel the first beads of sweat roll down your back. Slipping through the crack of the heavy wooden door, you settled into the closest empty seat, trying to steady your breathing as your pants became too loud within the enclosed space.
Deep breaths Y/N, deep breaths...
You internally heaved a sigh of relief when you saw the empty podium in front, glad that your professor for this class will not have a bad impression of you.
But your relief was short-lived as the booming voice right next to you soon commanded for attention.
“Alright let’s get started, now that the last student is here.”
As he walks down the flight of stairs to reach the podium, it gives you enough time to observe the authoritative figure. His black leather jacket and ripped black jeans made him look exceptionally tough, and you swore you saw some male students flinch when he walked past them. His hair, which was the colour of warm chocolate, was too long and brushed against his eyelids.
He looks like a model that has just stepped out of a Harley Davidson advertisement.
But you mentally berated yourself for the inappropriate thought, and proceeded to haul it out of the window.
When he stepped onto the podium, he surveyed the whole room before starting again.
“Good morning. My name is Park Sungjin and I’ll be your TA for this semester and for this class.”
Ah, so this was the legendary Park Sungjin that you had heard so much about during your first semester. He was famous for being the top student of the graduating batch, with an impeccable portfolio to match. Apparently, he’s so good to the point that many companies and graduate schools have offered him a place amongst them. But, he is also notorious for being a tough TA and everyone’s advice was to just stay away from his bad side if you ever had the fortune (or misfortune) of being in his classes.
All you wanted was to pass this class peacefully so you made it your goal to not cross the line.
However, when he opens his mouth to give the next set of instructions, you knew that you were already on the wrong side of the line.
“So now, if you’re ready Ms Y/N, I’ll begin with the introduction on the topic.” Giving you one last hard glance, he turned to face the screen. Everyone else was furiously copying down notes, but not you.
He said my name, he knows who I am. I’ve been singled out.
It felt like someone had just passed you the death sentence.
-
A week passed by uneventfully and you tried your best to not attract attention to yourself in class. You were on time, and you were attentive in class. You never gave Sungjin trouble – or Mr Park, as you know him by now. Yet, such tactics did not work on him. You knew that you had his full attention when he stares at you from the front as he is giving lectures, even if you’re sitting in a last row. He’ll always linger a little longer behind you as write answers to the mini quizzes in class. You made the mistake of looking up at him once, and you nearly combusted under his hard gaze. What’s worse is that you can’t decide if he approves or disapproves of your work. Perhaps that was the most agonising part.
Today was no different. After handing up your papers for the quiz to the front, you attempted to slip away with the crowd but you just couldn’t slip past Park Sungjin’s attention.
“Y/N, could I have a word with you?”
You halted in your steps, his monotone voice sending chills down your spine.
Why me…
Squeezing your eyes shut and taking in a shaky breath, you turned around to face him before walking in his direction. Your steps were a little too hesitant and you were obviously clutching onto your bag too tightly because this was the first thing that Sungjin said when you finally stood in front of him.
“You can loosen your grip on your bag strap, your knuckles are turning white.”
“O-o-oh. It’s a habit, sorry.”
“What time do your lessons end today, Y/N?”
“6pm. My last lesson is Introduction to Psychology.”
“Good. Meet me at Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences block, 6.30pm sharp.”
“Yes. Anything else…?”
“That’s all. You may go now.”
Giving Sungjin a curt bow, you scurried out of the lecture hall as fast as you could, dreading the time when you had to see him again.
6.30pm came too early for your liking, and you soon found yourself face to face with Sungjin once more. A thick stack of papers were sitting by the corner of the table beside him and you knew immediately.
“I’m here to grade papers?”
“More or less; I’ll be giving the final grade and you can help me critique.”
You simply nodded before assuming the seat in front of him.
The next time you looked up, your neck popped up with a loud crack and the clock read 12am. Sungjin kept you thoroughly occupied for the past few hours, papers being presented to you in a systematic manner. You’ve said more words to him a few hours than you’ve said to all your professors combined last semester. While disguised as ‘extra exposure’ for you, deep down you knew that this was Sungjin’s special torture method – and you finally understood what others meant by getting on his bad side.
But the torture didn’t end there.
“Y/N, don’t forget that we have an assignment due the next day. Oh, and don’t be late. See you tomorrow.”
Everything sounds really innocent but you knew what Sungjin really meant was “Don’t mess up tomorrow Y/N.”
You wanted to let out a sigh of frustration but instead you swallowed it and merely replied with a spritely “Yes” before leaving the office.
-
And this went on for months. Every single time Sungjin gave your class a quiz, you would find yourself in the conference room with him grading papers; sometimes at the expense of your own work. It gradually extended to grading papers from his other classes, but never once did you complain. You knew better than to argue with teachers, much less Sungjin. Every time he looks at you, your words die in your throat; how on earth were you supposed to hold an argument with him? But, of course, when you were back in the comfort of your dorm, which was when you were cursing and swearing at him. At one point in time, your roommate almost called an exorcist, thoroughly freaked out by the way you were flaying your limbs in the air as you continued screaming in frustration.
Needless to say, the late nights left with less sleep, and little energy to pay attention. You were up till 4am last night (or should you say morning), rushing out assignments due today for 2 different classes. You had burst into Sungjin’s lecture hall a good 20 minutes late but in your state, you didn’t care anymore. As usual, you settled into the closest seat you could find, one hand combing through the tangles in your hair, the other rummaging through your bag for your lesson materials. But you were so thoroughly exhausted that you fell asleep 10 minutes later, you pen stopping midway across your paper.
The next time you regain consciousness was when Sungjin’s voice calling your name rang through the speakers.
“So, Ms Y/N, what do you think of the question I just raised?”
You awoke with a start and you scattered your stationary across the floor in the process. You could hear the whole hall snickering at your blunder; save for the few kids sitting around you that helped you pick up your stray pens.
What was the question even? That was the most urgent question for you to answer. You shot a hard look at Sungjin, one that said, “How dare you call me when I’m in this state because of YOU.”
You were sure that he understood your gaze, but he merely raised an eyebrow, as he always did. It was the one that you recognised as “Go on, I’m waiting for your answer.” You knew that there was no way out of this except to answer his question. Panicking, you stared at the last word you wrote in your notebook before rattling off.
“The most famous poem from the Old English period, widely recognised by most is Beowulf. And for – ”
“Oh Ms Y/N, I didn’t know that Scandinavians spoke Old English in the late 10th century. Clearly, someone needs to keep her eyes and ears open. Also, I asked for your opinion, not of those from the 10th century.”
From beneath his long locks, Sungjin gave you a mischievous glint and smirked at you as the entire hall erupted into raucous laughter. Everyone was laughing, except you. Everyone found this funny, except you. Everyone was in a good mood, but you were livid.
How.fucking.dare.you.Park.fucking.Sungjin. I’m suffering in class now because of all your stupid “extra exposure” work after school. Yet you purposely picked on me to answer your question, knowing full well that I can’t. Why do you like picking on me so much? Why do you like embarrassing me in class so much? WHY PARK SUNGJIN!!!
You might have felt better if you actually said it out loud, but you didn’t. You just kept repeating this thought to yourself like a mantra until the end of the lesson.
It’s ok Y/N, just another 30mins of sitting in this hall and looking at his face. Afterwards you can leave and get yourself some ice cream to make yourself feel better. Yes, that’s right… everything is going to be ok Y/N...
But that day, things were not ok and you left the hall in a foul mood. For the final project of the year, you were paired up with Song Jihyo, the girl in class that was notorious for not doing her work.
Its official, Park Sungjin hates me and wants me to burn in Hell. That day, your whole body ached at the thought of more late nights and instead of eating your ice cream, you remembered hurling it at an innocent, nearby tree.
-
Everything that you thought would happen did happen. It’s as the saying goes, “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.” And in this case, you were helpless against its happening. The only time that you talked to Jihyo was deciding on the thesis and after that, she was virtually uncontactable. You eventually gave up trying to arrange a time to meet to do up the thesis; you merely assigned her parts – which, to be fair, she did do. But they were of such poor quality you ended up deleting most of it and redoing it yourself. But no matter how hard you tried, nothing seemed fresh and you decided to bite the bullet and ask for help.
Lucky for you, Mr Kim was in class today and you immediately ran to him for help.
“Good morning Mr Kim. I have some questions about the final project thesis, is it alright if I ask a few questions?”
“Ah Y/N aren’t you? I’ve heard so much about you from Sungjin! I’ll be glad to help, let me take a look.”
Eagerly, you showed him what you had done so far and when he smiled, you felt a small smile creep onto your face, silently happy that you had gained his approval. But soon, the smile was wiped off your face.
“First of all, an excellent thesis choice, I must say. I remember Sungjin doing something similar for my class 3 years ago, why don’t you ask him for help? He is in a better position to help than I am.”
“Yes sir, I’ll ask Sung- I mean, Mr Park. Yes, I’ll ask Mr Park for advice. Thank you.”
With a light pat on your shoulder, he left you alone and when you turned, you found Park Sungjin standing right in front of you.
“I heard you need help?”
“Yes...” You hated it; you hated having to admit that you needed help from Park Sungjin.
“Hand it over.”
Reluctantly, you passed him your phone and turned to the side, not wanting to see his face further.
When he finally passed back the phone to you, you didn’t feel any more enlightened.
“You can do better than this.”
“What do you mean? That isn’t helpful!”
“That’s all I have to say. You know what to do, so do it.”
“I don’t! I don’t know what to do, which is why I’m asking for help!”
“Then sit down and figure it out.”
So that’s how it’s going to be – you won’t give me a consultation when I need it the most. Fine.
But that was not what you said. You said this instead, “Ok, I’ll figure it out.”
From then onwards, without help from anyone, you trudged through the group thesis yourself. This was on top of the individual thesis that each of you had to prepare for. You were literally typing so much (or rather, punching) your keyboard so hard that one of the keys fell out and you had to send your laptop for repairs. Not only was school draining your sanity, it was also draining your money. Due to the delay in repairing your laptop, you were left with a week to finish half of your thesis.
The outcome: later nights and heavier eye bags. By now, you were too tired to curse and swear at Sungjin for the terrible grouping since it was already taking insane willpower from you to even show up in class. You merely bottled up your indignation, and kept working to avoid thinking about it. After placing the stack of papers in Sungjin’s letter tray, you went back to your dorm and crashed for 12 hours straight.
This signalled the start of your 1 week break, and one week of not seeing Park Sungjin.
Thank goodness.
-
The next time you saw Park Sungjin, you were glad that it was the last time that you would have to see him. After all the torture he had put you through for the past semester, you were glad that you’ll be done with him now.
Yet, as always, Park Sungjin manages to make your life a living hell till the end.
Group Thesis: C
Individual Thesis: E
Overall: D
Comments for Individual Thesis: Clear presentation of key ideas and mostly factually correct. Choice of thesis could be better.
Signed: Park Sungjin
Choice of thesis could be better. Park Sungjin failed me, just because he didn’t like my topic.
You were brought out from your shock by a large shove from behind. Whipping around, you found a smiley Jihyo in front of you and her next words made you want to punch her in her perfect little teeth.
“Thank you for helping me pass the class Y/N! How much did you get?”
Without your consent, she ripped your papers from your hands before handing them back to you with a frown.
“That’s odd; we had the same choice of individual thesis, why did you do worse?” But Jihyo had no time to contemplate on the answer to her question when she was dragged away by her friends to celebrate their good grades.
I can tolerate everything that Park Sungjin has put me through, but not this.
Running up to Sungjin, you stopped him from leaving before asking to see him.
“Do you have time now?”
“Yes. What is this about?”
“This is about my thesis, can we talk somewhere else?”
“Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences building in 10 minutes, I need to talk to Mr Kim first.”
“Ok.”
You were going to clear this once and for all.
-
“So, what is it about your thesis, Y/N?”
“You failed me just because you didn’t like my topic, didn’t you?”
You’ve rehearsed this part many times in your head and this wasn’t how it was supposed to sound like. It was supposed to sound polite and less accusatory, but fuck that. You wanted answers, and if you had to demand it from him, you will.
“Yes, I did. What’s the issue with it?”
“It’s not fair.”
“Nothing is fair in this world Y/N; I thought you’d know that by now.”
“Yes, I do know that. But what you’re doing is not only unfair, but also downright discriminatory.”
“How so?”
“Jihyo told me that we both had the same choice of thesis, and I got and E and she got a B. My grades are clearly a personal attack against my character. You never liked me from the start, I get it. But it’s wrong to simply disregard my entire thesis because you didn’t like the topic! What is wrong with this topic? It’s within the list of topics that you’ve given us, I met the word count, I met deadlines. I did everything!”
“And I’m supposed to give you a A for that?”
"I’m not saying you have to give me an A for it. I'm just trying to prove the fact that – " "A fact is already a fact, you don't have to prove it." "God damn it Sungjin! Would you just lay off me for a second? Would it kill for you to not correct my grammar for once? Would it kill you to not pick on me for one second?" "It's Mr Park, for you. It still is. And no, I won't lay off your grammar – you are an English language major that has taken my class, there is no way that I'm allowing you to continue to speak with bad grammar." "I hate you." "That can technically count as swearing at a teacher. Are you testing my patience?" "No. I'm just saying that it's not fair for you to give me a bad grade just because you did not like my choice of thesis. That's just being biased." "I'm not changing your grade." "I can't fail this module Sungjin! I need to pass this module to go for the Advanced English module. Yes, it's not a perfect thesis but I don't deserve to fail for this!" "Welcome to the real world Y/N." "I hate you Sungjin. I really fucking do." You pick up your bag and slam the door on your way out. That night, for the first time, you cried. And you hated the fact that you were crying over stupid Park Sungjin.
-
The next day, you awoke with puffy eyes but nonetheless, you showed up for lessons. You nearly bumped into Sungjin on your way to Psychology but you immediately detoured. You couldn’t get close to him – you might just punch him and be charged for assaulting a teacher.
That evening, you had just ended lessons when your phone buzzed and Sungjin’s name lit up on your screen.
Mr Park: You have another chance to redo your thesis and not fail the class. Deadline is January 20th, 2 weeks from now. Papers in my tray at 6pm sharp; don’t be late for the submission.
You swiped his notification away quickly, but you remembered the words and that night, you began sourcing for more ideas for your individual thesis.
For the next 3 days, Sungjin just wouldn’t leave you alone. Your phone buzzed with his name every now and then, and he was so distracting that you nearly wanted to block his number.
Mr Park: Are you going to resubmit your thesis?
Mr Park: Have you chosen a thesis yet?
Mr Park: What is your choice of thesis? How many words in?
Mr Park: Do you need help? Just drop me a message; I can help you check your thesis.
Help me with my thesis? Is he playing saint now? As if I’m going to accept help from him.
As you turned your attention back to your screen, you found that a shadow has fallen in front of your laptop. You found yourself staring at a pair of familiar, battered, black Converse and looking up only confirmed your suspicions. The man was here in person – Park Sungjin.
“Why aren’t you replying my messages?”
Why must I hold myself accountable to you? Buzz off.
You continued typing, completely ignoring Sungjin. You heard him sigh before inviting himself to sit in front of you.
“Y/N, what is your thesis? Hey, answer me. I came all the way down here to find you.”
“You came here voluntarily, I didn’t ask for your help. You can leave.”
“You’re still angry at me?”
Of course I am, you asshole. You’re just asking the obvious.
With each thought, you punched the keys on your keyboard harder.
“Stop typing so hard, you’ll spoil your keyboard. Working in spite is not going to produce quality work Y/N.”
Without your consent, he lifted your laptop into the air and onto his lap and scrolled through your entire document for 15 minutes. Passing it back to you with a smile, you stared at him in shock for 5 minutes.
Park Sungjin never smiles; did he just smile at me?
“You did it.”
“What did I do?”
“You figured it out. This was the choice of thesis I wanted you to choose in the very first place. Furthermore, you’ve chosen the correct area to focus on.”
“Thank you… I thought…”
“What did you think about?”
“I thought I might not be on the right track. But your words makes me feel a little more reassured now.”
“Well, I’ll leave you alone now.”
Park Sungjin then took his leave, but he was lying when he said he’ll leave you alone. He never did. Till the submission deadline, he visited you every alternate day.
As expected, you got an A for your individual thesis.
-
When you got an email from Mr Kim saying that he wanted to meet you, you thought you were doomed; most likely a disciplinary case on your head after what you said to Sungjin. But turns out, it was an interview for the Advanced English course, and they passed you immediately. When you walked out of the room still stunned that that you had entered the course of your choice, you found Sungjin waiting outside for you, almost like he knew you were going to be there.
“They passed you didn’t they?”
“Huh?”
Hearing his voice reminded you of what Mr.Kim said to you just now:
“We’ve received high commendations of you, Ms Y/N. All the professors pushed for your recommendation into the course, and Sungjin, especially. He was the first one to mention offering you a place in the course. He spoke of your remarkable working attitude.”
“May I ask something?”
“Yes, anything at all.”
“What exactly did Mr Park say about me?”
“He mentioned that you work well even under immense stress and long hours, catching up really fast even if you fell behind. But, most importantly, he spoke of your willingness to try again after failure. That is the most important quality that we are looking out for: tenacity. We have no doubt that you’ll be a suitable candidate to enter this demanding course. We would love to offer you a place, should you choose to accept.”
“I would love to, thank you. Thank you to the faculty and professors for having me.”
Sungjin hates me, why would be recommend me for the course?
“Follow me.”
Taking him by the wrist, you dragged Sungjin all the way to the bridge in the school park before letting him go.
“What’s with the rush, Y/N?”
Hands on your hips, you turned to face Sungjin with wide eyes, your lips set firmly in a thin line.
“I don’t understand you Sungjin. First, you torture me in lessons by making me so many extra work and now you’re putting in good words for me and recommending me for my dream course? Did you suddenly decide that you like me more now overnight?”
“Ah, so they told you everything I said. Mr Kim promised to not tell, I should have known he wouldn’t keep to it.”
“You’re still not answering my questions.”
“I’m getting there. First of all, that extra work was not torture, they were a test. I loaded you with many things to see how much you can handle before you snapped but thankfully and luckily for me, you never did.”
“I did silently curse and swear at you.”
“That is a given. But you didn’t say it out loud, so it doesn’t count. You’ve proven to – ”
“To be able to work well under immense pressure and long hours.”
“Yes. That is an important quality for taking any Advanced courses. I took the same course with the same professors that you’ll be having so I know how intense it was. I had to put you under pressure to see if my bet was correct.”
“I was your bet?”
“Yes, I was betting on you all along. You have great potential.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh? I thought someone hated me before.”
“Like you said, that was before. I don’t anymore. What you put me through was tough, but they did teach me more about myself and my limits. So, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now that I’ve managed to help you get a place in your course, I think it’s time to return the favour?”
“What’s your proposal?”
“Come to my graduation ceremony next spring. It’s in April.”
“Ok. That’s all?”
“That’s all for now.”
But when a soft smile lights up Sungjin’s face, you knew there was more in store for the both of you in time to come.
-
April 20th
You had come early to get front row seats and as you watch Sungjin give a speech representing the graduating batch, your heart swells with pride. You’ve seen him work very hard for the past one semester and to see him being handed his graduation certificate made you feel like all his efforts paid off.
You were the last to greet Sungjin because there was simply too many people crowding around him. You watch from afar and you giggle when you see Sungjin frantically asking Kang Younghyun if he’s seen you around. He does this thing where his eyes grow big like saucers, so big that you thought they were going to pop out of their sockets. You could also hear the fear in his voice – he speaks a little faster and slips into the Busan dialect. So when you greet him by gently tapping him on the shoulder, he whips around so fast the wind nearly knocked you over. But when you see his facial expression melt from one of worry into one of happiness, you nearly melt into a puddle there and then. You’d given anything to see those sparkly eyes and sweet smile.
“Ah finally you’re here Y/N! I saw you in the front row just now but then afterwards I didn’t so I was worried that you left but I haven’t got a photo with you yet. I was so sad because I haven’t asked you my question yet – ”
“Calm down Sungjin! I’m here now right? Also, happy graduation! I got this for you.”
Proudly, you hold up the bear plushie you had custom made for him, decked out in the exact same graduation gown that he had on right now.
“It looks like you, right? I named him Bang!”
“Why Bang?”
“Because you always say goodbye in a very cute manner and Bang seems like a cute name to capture that cuteness. Also, I gave him eyelashes! When you observe the details, he really looks like you right?”
When Sungjin finally notices the eyelashes, he bursts out laughing and you swore your heart nearly stopped. When he finally stopped laughing and took over the bear from you, he finally remembered the question he wanted to ask you.
“Y/N- ah…”
“Yes?”
“If I ask you out…will you say yes?”
Just to tease him a little, you decided to look up at the sky, and contemplate your answer for a little while.
“I don’t know…maybe?”
“You can’t do this to me! I waited so long to ask you this question!”
“Why did you wait so long then?”
“I had to wait till I graduated. It wouldn’t be right for a teacher to ask his student out right?”
“That’s true…but I still don’t know if I’d go out with you. How about we make a bet?”
“With what?”
“With a coin. You flip a coin and I’ll decide. Which side are you confident of getting?”
“Heads, I always flip a head.”
“Ok, go ahead then. Heads for I’ll go out with Park Sungjin and tails for…”
With utmost concentration, Sungjin flips the coin and slams his palm over it when it lands. Opening his palm, his face immediately becomes crestfallen: staring back at him was a tail.
But you haven’t finished your sentence yet.
“Tails for…I’ll still go out with you anyways!” you said, as you gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
“Really? You would?”
“Ask any more questions and I’ll reconsider.”
“Ok, ok I won’t ask any more questions! What do you want to eat?”
“Fried chicken!”
“Oh, I was betting that you’ll say fried chicken!”
“Betting on fried chicken is great Park Sungjin, but I'm betting on something else now.”
Sungjin turns to look at you and he says, "So, what are you betting on now?"
"I'm betting that you'll give me a kiss."
"Really? How are you so sure?"
"I know you Park Sungjin, I know you'll do it. So, am I getting a kiss or not?"
Without another word, Sungjin closes the space between the both of you, so close that if either moved, your lips would touch. You closed your eyes and waited for the impact, but instead you felt something soft press into your forehead and you immediately smiled.
"Not where I was expecting, but ok Sungjin."
"I'm saving the best for the last."
"I'm holding you accountable for that statement."
"You can bet your life on it that I'll fulfill it."
Not only was he your best bet, he was your favourite bet too.
#day6writersnet#day6 imagines#day6 scenarios#day6 sungjin imagines#day6 sungjin scenarios#day6#day6 sungjin#sungjin#park sungjin#enemies to lovers#enemies to lovers au#college au#angst#fluff
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LCH [5] | Louisentine
Description: Clementine gets confused with her feelings while she’s spending so much time with Louis, especially after babysitting baby AJ together.
Words: 1,757
Ship: Clementine x Louis
Warnings: make out session
Genre: Fluff, High School AU
A/N: it’s so fucking cold here in London, yes I live in London for those who don’t know. everyone seems to like this fic better than the other one? at least you like one of them because I don’t like my writing at all aH. anyway, I love you all. thank you for reading!
CHAPTERS
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]
__
It’s been a or two week since Clementine has agreed to this deal with Louis, and not for one second has she thought it was a stupid idea. She could see from hanging out with his friends that they do pick on him a lot, Mitch the most; they’re not bullying him but he is the joke of the group only because he is the lesser of them. Clementine knew that if she was in his shoes she wouldn’t know if she would be as strong as he is.
So, here they all are in the common room of the school. Mitch, Aasim and Marlon sat opposite the couple who were seated on one of the large body bean bags. Clementine sat crossed legged in between Louis legs as he rest his chin on top of her head, her hands held his fiddling with his fingers while she scrolls through her phone with the other.
“When are your friends getting her, babe?” Louis brushes his thumb over Clementine’s hand to get her attention, the girl switches tabs on her phone to their conversation reading the answer for Louis.
“I think they’ll be here in five, I’m not sure to be honest with you.” She looks up at him meeting eyes with him to which he winks at her causing her to look down smiling. Every time he winks, event though he has done it so many times, it still seems to make Clementine blush like crazy.
Clementine meets eyes with Marlon who is vaping the whole entire room up. “Brody?” His eye brows frown at the question before looking towards the door of the room; just in time, Brody walks into the room with Clementine’s friends. Louis knows them but they haven’t all chilled together as ‘friends’.
“Baby!” Brody practically screams as she sees Marlon in the far corner, he opens his legs up on his seat inviting her to sit on his lap. It wasn’t too long before they were all over each other.
Aasim turns away from the couple. “Looks like it came straight out of a porno.” Violet, who came in with the rest of Clementine’s friends, high fives Aasim before taking a seat next to him.
“Oh right, guys, these are my friends. Violet, Sophie an-”
“Ruby!” Clementine is a little shocked when the rest of the boys know who Ruby is. “Darling.”
Ruby giggles when Mitch and Marlon continue to shout her name. “Don’t y’all darlin’ me.”
“You know each other?” Louis questions.
“We always pretend to be sick so we can pay our little Ruby a visit, right Aasim?” Marlon hits Aasim with his elbow a couple times before he is rewarded with a punch on his arm. “Or is it to see that asian guy that is always sick but never fuckign speaks?”
“James?” Ruby questions sitting on the other side of Aasim who physically tenses in his seat, Louis tap Clementine lightly pointing at Aasim before smiling down at her. Clementine saw what he was talking about and mouthed the ways how cute before engaging back in the conversation.
“James is pretty fucking hot.” Clementine states nodding her head along with her fake boyfriend.
“Oh yeah, James has my heart.” Louis clenches his chest and Clementine lifts her hand to high five him behind her. The group just break into a fit of laughs including Aasim himself. It was only recently that Aasim came out about his sexuality so it was hard for him to joke about it still.
“Too bad his gay Clementine.” Mitch adds pointing at the girl who frowns slightly earning a hurt expression from the boy behind her. She tilts her head back looking at him who pecks her lips quickly earning a surprised expression from her, nevertheless, she grins.
Sophie is almost glued to Violet’s side not knowing these people enough to really fit in; Clementine notices this telling her to come sit opposite her which happened to be right next to Mitch. Mitch offers her a small smile to which she returns before saying something to him which Clementine can’t hear, she’s just glad that she has someone to talk too.
“So, party tonight? My house, everyone has to be there because I said so.” Marlon says standing shortly after, he goes round getting everyone number and adding it to a group chat, not too long after everyone receives his address.
Louis admires his girlfriend as he sees her shaking her head softly. “I don’t do parties.”
“Clementine does not do parties.” Violet says to clarify the point that Clementine just made. Louis did not seem too happy about this, he stood up making Clementine fall back onto the bean bag slightly.
“No, princess, you have to come.” Clementine smiles to herself before standing up to placing her hands on her hips.
“Nope, sorry.”
Louis flutters his eyelashes at her, bringing out his puppy dog eyes before moving closer to Clementine. He hopes this works on her because it works on most people, he can even see in the corner of his eye, Violet crumbling and slamming her hand on Aasim’s leg. “Come on Clementine, please.” Clementine looks back at her friend briefly before looking back at him.
“No.”
Everyone boo’ed and complained as Clementine grabs her stuff and Louis hand. “I have to babysit my baby brother, and you’re going to help me.” She addresses the last part of the sentence to Louis who rolls his eyes gently, following behind the girl.
“We all know that’s code for sex!” Marlon shouts as they both start to leave the room.
“Louis is going to have to wait longer than that!”
~
Lee runs around the house picking up all the mess as well as trying to find his car keys, AJ is screaming in his highchair not wanting his Dad to leave him.
“Daddy, it’s here.” Clementine hands Lee his car keys, he thanks her kissing the top of her head.
“I’ll be back in an hour, I just really have to finish that paperwork sweetpea.”
“I know Dad, go.” She tries to push him out of the house.
“And thank you too, Louis.”
“No problem, Paps.” Louis returns to feeding baby AJ who stops crying once the spoons meets his lips; Louis makes funny faces at the baby causing him to giggle almost choking on his own laugh. Clementine loves watching Louis play with AJ and call her Dad ‘Paps’. It makes it so real, a little too real. But she never bring up the fact that this isn’t real because she wants to feel like it is even when it isn’t.
“Everyone is going to be there, and I have to go because it’s my bro’s party. Open up AJ, woosh.” Louis guides the food into AJ’s mouth before turning to Clementine for a reply.
She sighs before laying down on her couch. “Fine, but I swear to go you can’t leave me alone Louis.”
He turns to her almost jumping up and down. “Of course I won’t babe, thank you so much. You’re amazing. Isn’t she amazing AJ? She’s so great right?”
Clementine smiles at them closing her eyes to rest slightly, without Louis she would have had to babysit AJ all by herself and she’s been so stressed and tired from school she just can’t function. She’s unsure of how long she’s been laying there with her eyes closed but Louis joins her on the couch laying beside her with half of his body on top of her due to the lack of space.
“AJ is sleeping, I put him to bed.”
“I don’t know what I would do without you Lou.” Clementine opens her eyes to meet Louis staring at her; she can see all his freckles up close, even the opens that overlap each other creating and even bigger freckle. Louis could see that Clementine was avoiding his eyes, he wants her to look at him even though she was but not at him. His hand grabs her cheek brushing thumb against it slightly, her eyes flutter shut slowly enjoying the feeling.
“No, look at me.” Louis whispers against her skin, she doesn’t listen at first until he says it again this time in a more demanding tone. As soon as he eyes meet his, she slams her lips against his;. this is the second time that they have shared a kiss during this entire relationship. But it’s the first time that they’ve kissed because they wanted too and not because someone was coming and they had too, like the first time.
Louis’ hand grips her face firmly as he pulls her into the kiss more, the uncomfortable position makes Louis move on top of her instead. Clementine’s arms wrap around his neck pushing him onto her to the point that if it was any further than it would stop her breathing. They pull away from a second only to get air before Louis mouth is on her neck, leaving soft kisses everywhere. A soft breathe of air leaves Clementine’s lips as she bits her lips, one leg moves around Louis waist as she moves him back to her lips.
Clementine’s hands grab onto his shirt pulling him in closer, Louis lets out a small groan feeding more into her lips. She parts her lips asking for more to which he gives her, it wasn’t just a dry kiss anymore as their tongues met each other. Clementine could barely control her breathing before the front door slams open and Louis rolls off Clementine almost as quickly as he rushes towards the kitchen.
Lee walks in with his back turned towards the door trying to get all the shopping bags into the house. “Hey kids, I did some shopping.”
Clementine is breathing heavy trying to compose herself and reply to her father; Louis can see that she is no state to reply muttering the best response he can.
“That’s great Paps.” He shouts from the kitchen taking down a large amount of water from the glass in his hand.
“W-we’re, um, going to a party Dad. Don’t wait up!” Clementine grabs her coat and rushes out of the house. Lee looks to Louis for an explanation, who has a red face, shrugs his shoulders and rushes after Clementine.
#twdg#twdg louis#Clou#I love Louis#clouis#clem x louis#louis#clementine#the walking dead game#twdg clementine#clem#louisentine#fanfic#fanficiton#make out#aj#twdg lee#lee#twdg aj#ruby#twdg aasim#twdg violet#twdg mitch#twdg marlon#twdg sophie
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20th February 2019
Author: CrzA
________________________________________________________________
We Make Our Own Adventures
Being a pro hero is busy work. Between chasing down villains, saving people in need and the mountains of paperwork resulting from it all, they hardly have any time to live their lives. This is especially true for Izuku, given that even on his days off he still finds a way to either get himself into trouble or try to get someone else out of it. Sometimes both on the same day, if not even in the same hour.
Though, busy as their lives may be, there’s a few moments of quietude in the office, late nights where only a few people stay behind for one reason or another. And when Izuku finds himself in the artificially lit room, alone with only his boyfriend, he can’t help the way his lips quirk upwards as soon as he looks up from the papers and notes this fact. His eyes dart around the empty room one more time before landing on Shouto’s back as he finishes the coffee in his hand and throws the paper cup away, rubbing at his likely sore neck with a small groan.
Slowly, Izuku drops his pen, getting to his feet and stalking towards Shouto, quiet as a mouse. Butterflies flutter in his chest in a way that never really stopped from the moment he felt the spark between them that became the fire sustaining their relationship. Perhaps it’s these little things that feed that flame and make it burn brighter, the fact that no matter how busy, how exhausted they are, they’ll always find these moments to share together, as silly as they may be. In the midst of all the tension and the weight of the world on their shoulders, Izuku likes to find light-heartedness wherever he can.
And right now, he’s been craving something for longer than he cares to admit and the perfect opportunity has just presented itself to him. He knows Shouto is more than strong enough to handle all of his weight even when taken by surprise. Still, as he gets a tiny head start, he calls for his boyfriend, seeing him turn his head just in time for Izuku to hop onto his back, legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders.
Shouto wobbles slightly, his hands coming to support him by the thighs and regaining his balance with a little grunt. Izuku clings to him for just a moment, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck and leaving a feather-light kiss there, a soft chuckle rumbling in his chest. When Shouto turns to look at him, one snowy eyebrow raised in amusement as he pulls away with a wide grin, Izuku adjusts his position so that he’s more comfortable on Shouto’s back. He straightens up, lifting himself slightly, and points towards the door that leads to the main hall of the office.
“Go forth my loyal steed!” He shouts, not too loud in the otherwise silent room as not to disturb the stillness. Shouto simply shakes his head, not really making any move to carry him anywhere, so Izuku shimmies on his back, nudging him forward. “Onwards! To war!”
There’s hints of a giggle building in his voice, but he manages to keep it down, poking Shouto on his cheek in a not so subtle way of saying ‘indulge me’. Rolling his eyes, his boyfriend lifts him further, bouncing him without warning and nearly starling him down to the floor, though Izuku just holds on tighter to his neck, chin resting on the top of his head with a lilting laugh.
Shouto straightens his posture too, Izuku slipping a little backwards with a yelp, but he’s held by hands hooking behind his knees. Before he actually starts moving, Shouto lets out the most monotone, serious ‘neigh’ and Izuku has to bite back the urge to snicker, failing miserably and starting to shake with the tiny giggles that break through him.
Shouto carries him around the office, coming across the few familiar faces that still linger in the late hours of the night. They offer them sheepish grins and small nods of their heads, continuing forward on some imaginary quest as Izuku relays their supposed encounters with an added flare, as if narrating an epic worthy of being carried through the generations. A knight and his mount, braving the harsh winters and scorching summers as they traverse lands overrun by tyranny and rid small villages of the evils plaguing them.
When they come across a very unamused Katsuki, narrowing his eyes at them, Shouto stops, seeing that he has no intention to move from blocking their path. The blond crosses his arms over his chest, the look of someone who’s ‘too tired for this’ settling on his disgruntled face and Izuku perks up, swinging an invisible sword at him.
“Who dares bar the path of this great knight and his trusted stallion?”
“What are you two nerds doing?”
“There is a threat upon us! I must vanquish this evil-doer before they lay waste to the village! The vilest of monsters quiver before my shadow! Step aside, peasant, or you shall be treated as a traitor to the crown for defending these fiends and face the wrath of my sword!”
“Neigh.”
With a chortle, Izuku pats Shouto’s head and Katsuki actually snorts, shaking his head with a hint of a smirk dancing on his lips as he moves out of the way with a half-hearted wave.
“Whatever, idiots, I’m going home. Not a peasant, by the way, if anything I’m the damn king of this joint.”
“Ah, certainly, your majesty. Safe travels and may the lord bless you with good weather and plentiful spoils.” Izuku replies with a nod of his head, nudging Shouto to keep walking.
He does another lap around the office, nodding and smiling at whoever they pass until they loop back to Izuku’s desk where Shouto moves to set him down. Yet Izuku keeps holding on, a breathy sigh escaping him as he basks in his boyfriend’s warmth, rubbing his cheek against the other’s. His eyes flutter closed, sleep suddenly coming for him with a vengeance, and the thought that he still has paperwork to finish is honestly very unappealing so he whines lowly in a childish protest. He feels Shouto turn his face, cool lips caressing his cheeks gently.
Izuku melts against Shouto, moving so that he can steal an actual kiss, soft and slow, a scarred hand coming to tangle in red and white locks as he pulls them away from his eyes. They get a little lost in each other’s taste, finding that the last time they kissed feels far too distant even if they’d shared a few chaste ones earlier that day. Izuku nibbles on Shouto’s bottom lip, their mouths parting slightly and granting each other permission to take the kiss further.
The sound of someone clearing their throat startles them back to reality, bursting the bubble that had formed around them suddenly and making Shouto’s grip on Izuku’s legs slacken. Izuku slides from his hold, landing on the hard floors with a loud thud and a grumble much to their company’s amusement.
Ochako steps inside, leaving another stack of papers on Izuku’s desk. There’s another muffled noise as Izuku lets himself fall backwards to fully lie on the ground, covering his face with his arms. Whoever said hero work was nothing but excitement had clearly forgotten about what happens when they’re not out in the field.
“Sorry, Deku. Most of those aren’t urgent, but there’s at least a couple that need to be handed in by tomorrow.”
Izuku nods miserably from his newfound home on the hardwood floors before sitting back up. Shouto crouches beside him, leaving a peck on his forehead then ruffling his hair as he stands to go out.
“I’ll bring you some coffee.”
“Thanks. Love you.” He smiles, exhaustion finally showing on his face.
Shouto returns the gesture, following behind Ochako with a soft “I love you too” as Izuku lazily lifts himself towards his desk and slumps on the chair, the sweet and silly moment gone. It was lovely while it lasted.
His boyfriend returns not long after, steaming hot cup of coffee in his right hand as he cools it to just the perfect temperature Izuku likes. Shouto sits on his desk and Izuku rests his head on his lap with a sigh. And at least he’s here with me for all the others.
________________________________________________________________
Would you like your work to be featured in the 365 Days of TodoDeku Project? Apply here! (≧∇≦)/
#Story#crzangel#TodoDeku#365DaysofTodoDeku#TodoDeku365#365 Days of TodoDeku#tddk#Shouto Todoroki#Todoroki Shouto#Izuku Midoriya#Midoriya Izuku#Boku no Hero Academia#BNHA#My Hero Academia#MHA#Todoroki x Midoriya#Shouto x Izuku#TodoIzu#long post
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thank you so much for your replies. i cant like express the depth of my gratitude of how much what you said resonated and meant to me. im really sorry like bringin it up though ifeel like im such a burden bc of it so i dont irl and while you have always been so kind and feel like the definition of safe and friend even though idk you in person, i recognize that its alot to bring up, so i hope that was ok. ive been starting to acknowledge it with therapy and its terrifying 1/3
but honestly, and i hope this isnt too much to say, but reading your blog and how open you are in not making it something like that means youre ruined gave me so much strength to feel like i might be ok one day and could address it with a professional and dont have to feel all this shame(?) quietly about it? idk just thank you, i cant articulate with words how i feel but its a lot of gratitude. im gonna save your replys and re read them again later when im sure ill need to 2/3
because its the most seen and validated and honestly cared about that ive ever felt being that my family continues to deny it despite literally being there/seeing it for years. like logically i know its not my fault but to hear everything you said in the second baddad ask meant so much more.. anyway this got so rambley but basically thank you im literally never going to forget your kindness for the rest of my life. not to be dramatic but it really does mean a lot. 3/3
--
you’re not too much, and you don’t have to apologize to me.
i’m glad you reached out to me. i’m glad you feel like i’m safe and a friend. i want to help you. i don’t know what sort of support system you have, but you can count me part of it if you want to. you can always talk to me. you can message me or send another ask and i’ll answer as soon as i am able.
i’m really glad you’re talking to a therapist. i’ve been seeing a therapist off and on for about 20 years. the therapist i’m currently seeing has helped me tremendously. she is the reason i finally stopped being in denial about the abuse i suffered from my dad and others. i am in recovery, and it’s hard work, but it’s worth it. it’s so worth it.
you are going to be ok. you’re going to get to a place where it doesn’t hurt so much. where it’s easier to live with, where it’s a part of you, but it doesn’t take over your whole life.
you are incredibly strong and brave, even when you don’t feel like you are. being sad or vulnerable or scared doesn’t make you weak. crying doesn’t make you weak. grieving doesn’t make you weak. asking for help doesn’t make you weak.
and here’s what i know about shame: shame is harmful, but it only proliferates in secrecy. it dies out in the open. telling your story to people you love and trust, and having your feelings acknowledged and validated, is a very, very important part of the healing process.
you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. your dad is the one who should be ashamed. he abused you. it was real. it really was that bad. your family is gaslighting you, making you question the things you know you experienced. don’t listen to them.
and remember: try to be patient and compassionate with yourself. treat yourself kindly. as much as you can. all those negative and toxic things you think about yourself, that’s not your voice. that’s your dad’s voice, your abusers’ voices. healing from this kind of trauma will help you get your own voice back.
it’s easy to feel like you have a monster living inside you that stalks around your head and if you think too much about what happened that monster will find you. but the truth is there is no monster, there’s just a sad, scared child (you) who needs your love and understanding.
i’m going to leave you with a quote from rainier maria rilke’s letters to a young poet that has meant a lot to me.
“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”
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Christmas with the Holmes’
2. The day before Christmas
Sherlock’s was packing his suitcase which he had delayed until the very last minute. Mycroft would be here in fifteen minutes. He hated Christmas but he knew that it was no use to try to stay behind in college. His older brother would drag him home if need be. Everyone was excited to go home for a few weeks, people were running around in the corridors shouting to each other.
Suddenly there was a shout into his room which made him startle and he turned around from his packing.
‘Well Holmes’ Sebastian leaned against his door ‘you’re finally off for a holiday then?’ he grinned sarcastically.
‘I do not see why it is any of your business but yes I am’, Sherlock answered.
‘Mummy told you to come, did she?’, Sebastian laughed about his own remark.
‘Yours is dreading you’re coming home I bet’, Sherlock replied ‘with all the ‘friends’ you are bringing home with you’.
‘At least I have friends, Holmes’, Sebastian snarled ‘happy holidays and many deductions to you’ Sebastian walked off and his laugh was heard throughout the corridor.
Sherlock closed his door with a bang. Idiot Sebastian with his idiotic friends, he thought. He was glad he was rid of them for a few weeks.
He packed the last of his things in his suitcase and walked downstairs to wait for Mycroft. He put his coat collar up against the icy wind. He looked at the clouds, snow was coming this Christmas. Great, that would mean he couldn’t probably go out for his long walks and had to stay in with all those people his parents had invited.
Mycroft’s car pulled in the driveway and Sherlock put his suitcase in the trunk before he got in.
‘Good morning, little brother’, Mycroft said putting away the morning paper. ‘I’m glad you decided to come’.
‘I do not think I had another choice’, Sherlock sulked.
‘No’, Mycroft said pensively ‘you really didn’t but still, I am glad you are here’
Sherlock glanced over at his older brother, sometimes he really didn’t get him.
They were quiet for the most part of the drive, which took almost two hours. Sherlock was looking outside where the first snowflakes were coming down. He sighed.
‘What is the matter, Sherlock?’ Mycroft softly asked.
‘Nothing, I just… I don’t know really’, Sherlock fell silent.
‘I love the snow, don’t you?’ Mycroft said. ‘It’s always so lovely at home in the country. Don’t get me wrong, I would not trade that for the city at any time! But still it is very lovely’
Sherlock looked at Mycroft; ‘You hate Christmas as much as I do’, he said.
‘God, yes I do’ Mycroft smiled at Sherlock ‘But that doesn’t mean that it is nice to be with family’
‘You hate family’, Sherlock said still sulking.
‘Not all family’, Mycroft said still smiling.
‘Don’t make me puke before I had eggnog’, Sherlock said while he turned back to watch the snow getting thicker.
---
‘Sherlock!’, Mrs Holmes ran out hugging her youngest son who pulled a face to his brother who was still smiling like the Cheshire Cat.
‘Hello mother’, Sherlock said brushing his coat before entering the house.
‘Mycroft’, his mother said hugging her oldest son ‘I’m so happy you convinced him to come, thank you’
‘You’re welcome, mother’, Mycroft said smiling.
Sherlock felt like a small child again, wanting to stick his tongue out to his brother for being such a well-behaved good son. It wouldn’t be long or he would hear it; ‘oh Sherlock, why can’t you be more like Mycroft?’ he hated that!
He walked in the house and greeted his father ‘Sherlock! How happy this makes me to see you home for Christmas!’ his father smiled, shaking his hand. ‘Your room is just the way you left it, you can put your suitcase there’
Sherlock walked up the stairs to his room which was indeed just as he left it, tidy but with his science books still open like he had been reading them just the night before, which he found odd. He put his clothes away in the closet and looked out the window. It would be dark soon and he really would love to go for a walk. His parents would never allow him to go now. The next days would be crazy with Christmas parties and people and too busy for his liking. He walked downstairs and put his coat and scarf on.
‘Mum, I’m just going out for a little walk before dark, alright? I’ll be back soon’
‘That’s fine dear, just be home in time for tea’ his mother said.
‘I will, thank you’
Good, he had a little more than an hour, he thought. He walked outside and breathed in the fresh crispy air of freshly fallen snow and frostbite. He put his gloves on, put his coat collar up and with a quick pace started to walk.
He had to admit, as much as he loved the city or college, being away from home, he had missed it somewhat. The countryside especially, the wideness of it all. One could feel forlorn this time of year, in the vastness of the countryside when it was almost dark and especially when it was dark weather. He didn’t mind, he loved autumn and winter, with dark clouds or rain or snow. It often matched his mood.
Sherlock was pondering and so much in his own thoughts that he didn’t see someone was running in the lane next to him. It was getting darker and the runner hadn’t seen Sherlock either and when he went around the bend of the road he bumped into Sherlock who fell into the snow.
‘Oh gosh, I’m so sorry’, the runner stammered ‘I really didn’t see you walking there. You’re all dressed in black so I really didn’t notice you’.
The man helped him up and Sherlock brushed the snow off his coat.
‘Story of my life’, he mumbled.
‘Pardon?’, the man asked.
‘Never mind, it is not your fault’, Sherlock answered.
‘You’re all wet now’, the man said ‘Do you live around here? You’ll catch a cold if you don’t put warm clothes on’
‘Yes, I live over there, or rather, my parents do’, Sherlock said pointing towards the cottage where the lights were lit in the distance.
‘Isn’t that the Holmes’ cottage?’ the man asked ‘Sorry, I’m John Watson’, he held out his hand and shook Sherlock’s. ‘My parents are invited to Christmas dinner at your parents home. My dad knows your dad apparently’
‘Really?’ Sherlock looked at the man who bumped into him better now. He was a bit shorter than Sherlock was, perhaps a bit older too, not much though. But Sherlock liked his face, he had kind eyes. ‘Sherlock Holmes, nice to meet you’
‘You really should get out of those wet clothes, you’ll catch a cold. Sorry, bad habit, I’m a doctor, well, almost, erm I’m almost a doctor I mean, I graduate next year’
‘Ah, I see, well one must always do as his doctor says’, Sherlock smirked. ‘I will see you tomorrow then, Dr Watson’
‘Yes, yes, see you tomorrow, Mr Holmes’
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im sorry @ my followers ill return to regularly scheduled posting soon but FIRST i gotta ranT like the little bitch i am
i haVE BEEN HOLDING THIS IN FOREVER but im literally so exhausted finally by how ? everything that i do ? is ? apparently ? wrong???? like. okAY !
im like ?? im well aware that as an admin its virtually impossible to please everyone and i totally accept it n its fine im not tryna be everyones everything and im not bothered that im not. but. im getting so tired of how ... im being perceived as either doing too little for my rp ?? or doing a lot but not doing the RIGHT things ( yet when we ask for suggestions, we get none ), or .... doing stuff, and putting in the effort, n pulling together an event, and having it get SLEPT on, which keeps happening, because of .. reasons that i dont even KNOW. like. find faults in my admin method by all means thats totally fine and im open to hearing anyone out n adjusting myself, but theres like. an actual trend at this point where most of the things i do actually try n do flop bc the member involvement is slim to none n im super tired of hearing so many people be like “wow :// the rps dying ://” ( or u know. just. not posting. like. they dont even ask for a hiatus or anything they just dont post ) but actually not making any kinda visible effort to change that ?
im literally one person i cannot physically make anyone do anything that they don’t wanna do and i constantly feel as if IM failing, and this is all MY fault, n im super mad n just ?? emo abt that ?? because not only am i getting this feeling that everyone feels as if im doing something wrong, when i do things MYSELF - when i take part in the events i organize, often w my friends bc they’re often the only ppl i caN make do anything, and i get involved in my own lil plots ....... im automatically the only one benefiting from events, or making them revolve around me n my characters or smth, and there’s just no leeway whatsoever ??? no ones taking part in the events im tryna give them, but god forbid i do bc IF i do, im doing smth wrong ?? and if i take pride in my characters n what i have for them bc im one of the very few ppl i could call reliable in the rp character wise ........ im also doing smth wrong ?? like sure ya im totally self involved but im tired of it being made out to be a bad thing i try n rp w loads of ppl i try n plot i try n do these things but i can only speak for my own characters, for one, n ... if its only the few ppl i actually talk to who’re gonna reply n carry thru on ideas n plots n stuff then ??
im just exhaUSTED of this ‘everything i do is wrong’ feeling thats been following me around for a lil while like ... i just wanna rp my characters n keep my rp alive. thats all i ever wanted to do ?? but now its like. i cant even do either of those things right, lmao
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