#sorry i am unable to provide short answers even if i don't know how to respond (or especially if i don't jksdfnjksdf)

[mydarlinglaszlo]

Cactus and nutmeg?

 ﹟random get-to-know-me ask game cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)? hmmm i dunno if i'm actively learning something right now, kind of hit pause on the stuff that I did (spanish in duolingo and coding in python via udemy), so I'll reply on what I want to learn to not make it a really boring answer lol. I definitely want to get back to learn coding, before starting a degree in computer sceience, and maybe i might get into it more in my job later as well. I'd also love to get back to learning more spanish too eventually. It kinda sucks cause I love learning new things but commiting to learning without having an organized frame for it (school, a course, etc) is really hard and reqiures a lot of mental energy i do not possess (and free time, which is also a bit lacking at the moment). also obviously, the 'you have to be good at it immediately or you're a failute tm' is also a factor for me but i'm aware i have to work on that. I'd also love to learn how to gif someday, and how to play a guitar, but I keep not getting around to actually doing anything about it lol.

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on? I don't really have much in the way of decoration in my room/home right now so i'm afraid i'm pretty boring in that regard, I just haven't gotten around to put energy into it. Mostly still just happy i ~have~ a room for myself ever since i moved out cause i didn't at my mom's place. The only actual piece of 'decor' i currently have in my room is an inspiration board on the wall with post-it notes in different colors, in which i wrote some of my favorite lyrics <3 Not sure if that would count as decor but i do have around the house a display cabinet of all my funko pops (way too many) and another one for books. so maybe that. I would definitely love to put more energy into decor someday, maybe buying stickers for favorite lyrics/quotes to put on the wall or some drawing of a landscape and stuff like that. Just feels like something to put more energy into when you actually have an apartment that is ~yours~ (altho, in ~this~ economoy? that's a wild dream) or at least feels more permanent for the long term.

thank you for the ask <3

[borderlinereminders]

Do you have advice for how to handle when you split on someone you hang out with a lot? Like half the day, every day? Sometimes everything they do makes me bitter and resentful and though I work hard not to give in and let it leech into my actions, I still don't like having these thoughts because they just settle like a heavy blanket on my brain and make everything feel worse. And I often end up being short and irritable even if I'm not outright punishing the person for angering me.

Hi anon,

Is this person someone you consider a friend or are they a co-worker? It's unclear honestly. If they're a friend, it might be worth keeping a list of things that they've done that made you happy or feel good. Or even some screenshots from this friend that made you happy or feel good overall (with some notes about how it made you feel). Sometimes when we split, it can be really hard to forget any other emotion exists towards someone.

If it feels hard to control in the moment, there are some DBT skills you can try. There's the STOP skill.

The TIP skill can also be useful if you are having urges and need help calming down.

I think it's also worth evaluating why you split on this person. Sometimes we can split for really genuine reasons that might make the friendship worth re-evaluating or coming up with boundaries. For example, if you split on someone because they constantly lie to you and have lied again, maybe that relationship isn't a good one for you. If you split on someone because they were unable to reply to you when you needed (super valid by the way, we can't necessarily control when we split, this is just an example), then that is something that is not necessarily the other person's fault and it is likely worth working on the friendship. With that said, if the friendship is hurting you, even if the other person isn't doing anything wrong, it's still valid to walk away from someone. Maybe this might mean hanging out less.

I also find communication can help. Sometimes, my partner says something that really upsets me. He doesn't mean to. And he hasn't even said anything wrong. I usually tell him that "hey, I know this isn't rational, but I'm feeling hurt/upset/angry about ___". Sometimes talking about the feeling helps me "release" it if that makes sense, and he can provide reassurance. If there is a way this person can help, like by saying or doing certain things, it is valid to communicate that to them. (Keeping in mind, if they don't have the energy or means to do what helps, that is also valid.) . But with that said, even having another friend or a few who are okay with being messaged about it can help. You can try and talk out your feelings with someone else. You can also try journaling about your feelings and try and find a pattern.

I'm sure you do this already but remind yourself that splitting is a part of BPD and that it's temporary. It will pass, as uncomfortable as it feels. Realizing splitting is happening is a huge step in itself. So, try to remember to be proud of yourself for being aware of it.

If you can walk away from the person, even for a few minutes, you can try some grounding exercises or some mindfulness exercises to try and center yourself a bit.

I'm sorry I don't have an easy answer for you. But you can do this.

Disclaimer: Please know that my advice comes from a place of what I would personally do. I am not a professional by any means, and cannot possible understand the nuance of the situation. You know this person better and your relationship much better than I could ever gauge from an ask. Please always be aware of patterns of behaviour, especially after healthy communication, because you deserve to be treated well. If a relationship/friendship isn’t for you, it’s entirely valid to end it even if it’s just a matter of being incompatible.

[jitter-bug]

Ｆｅａｒ

Nines x Reader (Detroit: Become Human)

This story is for Mature Audience. This features, death, gorey depictions and vulgar language.

A/n: ;;;) I did this as quick as I could. I hope you enjoy

Taglist: @theamreath

The whispering in the air. Gave gentle shivers down Y/n's spine. The dark gray clouds. Looming over the city of Detroit to share its tears. 

Little to no light was evident in the building. 

Y/n didn't arrive upon the abandoned building from a dare or even just rumors. 

Her own curiosity and boredom was the reason She even landed a foot in the building. 

The air was stale. Evident that the building stood in all its glory for years now. The chilly crisp air from outside still invaded the building. Y/n could feel it nip at her skin. 

The flashlight in her hand did lead the way through the building. It lights a path through the building. Old stores and food stands that once glowed with light. Sat in neglect. Dust collects on the gates that separated the stores and dust collects on the food stands counter.

The shards of glass and debris that decorated the linoleum floor crushed under Y/n's boots. 

The building gave off a serene feeling. Cascaded Y/n in nostalgia. How she mesmerized and sunk her mind into the deep depths of memories. Of when she would attend the mall. With family and friends. The stores that burned bright with lights. And the theater was on the second floor. How every time she walked near the cinemas. The smell of popcorn was evident in the air. 

Y/n pulled herself from her thoughts. Looking ahead to the stairs...which was once a working operating escalator. 

Thankfully walking to the second floor without a problem--the graffiti signs on the wall. And left over clothes and bags from previous explorers. Y/n glanced at the work of art on the walls. Before tearing her gaze to turn around. Gazing at the bottom floor. Which also showcased the rest of the building. The ceiling was a glass pane that glared down into the building. What was left of the moon that was hidden behind the clouds. Peered down into the mall. Walking over to the railing. She had a better view of the building.

Her damp hair from the rain clinging onto her scalp and forehead. 

She was certain she would catch a cold if she stood out in the cold any longer. But too entranced by the lighting of the mall in front of her. Pushed those thoughts away. 

The cool shivers inched down her spine once more. Like something..colder was near her.  

"It's not often someone willingly comes around to explore." The voice startled Y/n. She flinched. Her hands were widening. Which causes her to let go of the flashlight that was idly in her grip. It fell over the railing and down to the second floor. Distant 'Clank!' Echoed throughout the building. Patterning of feet could be heard. A small rodent scurried away from the abrupt noise. 

Y/n quickly whipped around. And was met with a man. Lanky in stature. Broad shoulders. His brown hair was dark in the dim area. Y/n would have mistaken his hair to be a jet burnt black if it weren't for the little light that was coming from the window pane on the ceiling. 

He had on a black sweater. Which Y/n soon noticed was a turtleneck. And jeans. 

His eyes are pale grey. Which was busy observing Y/n's form. The corner of his lips twitched slightly. As his index finger tapped his thigh. 

"Did I frighten you? I'm terribly sorry. It gets lonely. Sitting here alone every night." His face was devoid of emotion. His eyebrows etched together slowly. Y/n placed both her hands on the railing behind her. If she was aware someone else was in the building. She would have taken precautions before willingly tossing herself in the abandoned building. "...who are you? How long have you been here?" She asks. The man in front of her was slow to answer. Taking his time as he eyed her slowly. 

"My name is Connor...though. I was originally known as Nines." His pale eyes glanced around him slowly. As if showcasing the area they stood in.

 "I've been here for some time now." Y/n glanced around the building as well. Glancing at Connor ever so often to make sure he didn't edge any closer. Trying to find what he was hinting at. Before looking back at his form. 

He didn't move. Instead. He motioned towards the area behind Y/n with his hand. Which was the railing that peered down at the bottom level of the building. But. Y/n didn't turn around. Letting go of the railing. She felt her clammy hands. Heat up. She couldn't tell if she was nervous or scared. 

Y/n stared at Connor as he turned his gaze. Back onto her. The two stood there. Staring at each other. Y/n could feel the cool atmosphere that the msle in front of her brought with him. 

The silence was thick. Y/n felt as if cotton was shoved into her mouth. Making her unable to speak. The energy...felt wrong...and negative.

That was until Connor abruptly lifted his arm. His hand reaching out. Signalling a hand shake. Y/n looked down at his hand. His skin complexion of what resembled a porcelain doll. Or a polished exterior hospital wall. 

Without hesitation. Y/n rose her hand. Placing in Connor's Palm. Whereas the two shook each other's hand. 

"My name is Y/n." She replies. His hands were chilly. His thumb had rubbed against her knuckles slowly. As if he were feeling the bones underneath. Feeling each knuckle. The feeling clouded Y/n's mind. Her eyes that were once glued onto hands that entertwined with one another and back to Connor's eyes. Which was still glued onto her face.  

"Y/n..yes...what a wonderful name…" he spoke from the center of his lips. As if he were occupied from different things roaming around in his head.  

The feeling of being under pressure and startled had left Y/n. Instead keeping her gaze on Connor's features. His jaw. His pale complexion that made it easier to see his freckles that was ever so noticeable. 

"My...aren't you...warm." His hand latched onto Y/n's wrist. His fingers inching under her sleeve to feel the warmth that she provided. Y/n raised her eyebrows. His cool fingers felt like it was robbing her from her warmth. But she remained calm. 

Feeling as his hand traveled up her forearm. Shoulder and then neck. Slowly planting his hand around Y/n's neck, Y/n straightens her neck from the feeling of his nail puntering the crook of her neck. His chilled hand pulled Y/n's closer to her slowly. The sound of Y/n's shoes scraping the floor kicking over glass shards and other debris echoed through the area.

She placed her hands on Connor's chest. A way to have what left of space Y/n could have. 

She felt the tip of his nose touch her scalp. His grip tighten, Y/n could feel her pulse beating against his thumb. 

"I've never seen you before. I don't really come here often...I'm assuming you visit this place?" Y/n asked. Connor's grip loosened. She could feel his thumb twitch under her skin. Her pulse beating against his thumb. 

He let's go of her. Moving his gaze to look down at her.  

Y/n takes a step back. Moving her gaze to look up at Connor. His eyebrows knitted together once more. 

'Clank!' 

The sound of feet scurrying from the left of the two echoed. Y/n and Connor looked over to see that a broomstick had fallen onto the ground. The racoon that was busy searching on the dusted floor. Saw the two figures looking over. Letting out a hiss, before retreating away. 

"Fear isn't really something you're capable of...am I wrong?" Y/n's gaze returned back to Connor's. His gray optics pinned down on Y/n's form. His nose twitched ever so slightly that it was barely noticeable, but Y/n noticed. 

Y/n was caught off guard from the question. No one ever asked her anything like that. No one really cared to ask. Y/n always had a higher tolerance for walking into dangers. That being jumping boats while out with friends. Crossing incoming trains on train tracks when she was just a kid. Or hopping from tree to tree. She was...in a way...adventurous to see where her body would call its limits. But she never really found that trigger. Until...she was met with the man in the abandoned mall. 

"I can feel fear--"

"I would think you would find it strange...being in the same atmosphere with someone who you hardly know...letting him speak to you…" His voice slowly eased lower. His tone became hushed. His left hand rests beneath Y/n's left elbow. Slowly guiding it upwards to place her hand on his chest. His right hand followed to place it on her cheek. 

"To touch you…"

Y/n felt the warm feeling in her chest bubble. Which soon casted down to her abdomen. His presence or effecting her form. His words and tone make her lightheaded. And the touch of his fingers burning her skin. It were as if something in her awakened. Finally seeing reality as some sort of game. She didn't know who he was. Or what he was capable of. Or what crimes he committed. What history he had under his belt. This was a man that she had never seen before. 

Her mind felt cloudy and occupied with many things. How come his presence. Made her...feel...cautious? Something she never really felt. She was ripped from her thoughts. Blinking over her glazed eyes. To bring her attention back to Connor. 

"...I'll make you feel fear.." He finished. Y/n felt her eyebrow twitch. Her heart stopped completely. 

"...what?"

 Y/n didn't get an answer. Instead she was shoved backwards. Her back hitting the railing that showed the bottom floor of the mall. A short shriek escaped her throat. She thought she would have flipped over and fell off the railing. But a hand gripped the front of her shirt. Hauling her up. Her feet lifting off the ground. It was abrupt. Y/n could feel her form get hot. Triggering every nerve in her body. She was scared. She was...scared. 

Of all the things she did. A man she doesn't know at all. Had her scared...well...that was because she was certain her life would be taken. 

Y/n felt Connor's leg between hers. As his other leg squeezed her left leg. Locking her in place so she wouldn't move. 

"Wait, wait, wait! Hold on! Wait!" Y/n shouts. Her voice echoed through the building. Connor's stoic expression glanced down at Y/n. 

Y/n's breathing was heavy and rigid as she kept glancing behind her. Certain that he might toss her over. 

"Don't kill me please...I-...Please! I mean...come on. Throwing me off a railing? Thats-that's a--That's an amateur move!" Y/n tripped and stammered over her words. Connor heard she was tethering from fear to anxiety. 

"Oh...I'm not throwing you off of anything.." His hand rose up. Cupping the back of her neck. His thumb pressing into the crook of her neck once again. Feeling her quicken pulse caused his eyebrows to raise slowly, before knitting back together. 

"What are...you going to do to me then…" she muttered immediately after he finished speaking. 

Connor stared into her e/c eyes. He was close. Y/n could feel the tip of his nose touching hers. 

"I'm going to ravish you...devour you…" His words slow as his eyes followed his thumb that was rubbing against Y/n's cheekbone.

"Is this...how you get your victims…? You..just lead them in? You sick fuck?" Y/n spat. Connor's expression was blank for a moment. Before the corner of his lips twitched slowly. A smile easing onto his face. 

"You are one naive woman." He muttered. Y/n felt the bit of courage that was once shrouded with fear. Slowly ease it's way back up. She gave him a shaky scowl. Before spitting into his face. Which so happened to get into his eye. Connor huffed and quickly let his hand fly to his eye. As he did so. Y/n shoved him away. Connor stumbled slightly. But kept his footing. 

Y/n fell to the ground. Her knees landing onto the glass shards as well as her hands. She hissed in pain. Feeling the glass mostly sink into the heel of her hand. 

Connor was quick to regain his posture. 

"Very bold of you. I must say. I do acknowledge your courage. It's intriguing. But smells awful." Connor piped up. His wrist sleeve wiped at his eye.

Y/n backpedaled away from his sauntering form. Before heaving herself up and running off. Shoot in down towards the staircase she entered from. Oddly enough she didn't hear the heavy footsteps she thought she would hear. Or the curses or many putrid name callings for her spitting into his eye. Instead.

When she reached the end of the staircase. Looking back up where the railing was. She saw no one. Y/n huffed and heaved. From the running. The new found feeling of fear which triggered her fight for flight instincts. Something she didn't think she had. 

"...fuck…" Y/n let out a shaky whisper. She couldn't see a thing. Slowly taking a 180 as she looked around for her flashlight she quickly remembered dropping. Almost immediately she was met with the pure light that acted as an angel. Leading her to what she saw as freedom. 

Quickly running over to the flashlight. Y/n picked up the flashlight. Shaking it to make the dim light brighter. The light flickers before turning back on. 

"Thank God…" Y/n muttered. Taking a step back to try and find a way out of the darkness and building. But was interrupted by feeling the touch of a body pressed against her back. Y/n didn't take a second chance in hesitating. She quickly turned around and was met with Connor. 

"How did yo-"

"I'll give you time...run around. Go on...find your way out...let you run your energy out. I really don't play cat and mouse." Connor interrupts. Y/n could feel her senses coming to her. Staring at Connor's form. His pale complexion was still noticeable. Y/n could see through his skin on his neck. How purple and red veins that intertwined with each other pulsed slowly. 

"...you aren't human…"

"I would think someone as smart as you would have caught on." Connor took a step forward. His tall stature sauntering towards Y/n. Y/n did the opposite. Taking a step back each time he got closer. She understood. 

The cool air. The negative feeling that triggered her and the constant feeling of a occupied mind. 

He wasn't alive at all. He was a spirit. An evil entity. 

As Y/n finally managed to think straight. She felt the flashlight get smacked from her hand. It flew away from the two. Y/n shrieked once more as Connor managed to pin her to the ground. Taking both of her wrist. And pinning them by the side of her head. 

His intertwined with hers to keep her in space. 

"Let me go!"

The light slowly spun on the ground. Before landing on Y/n's and Connor's form. He was hunched over her. Y/n looked up once finally getting light. She saw Connor's mouth open. Inhumane teeth protruding out. Showing the pink gums and saliva that slowly dripped from his mouth. Which Y/n could only see it resembles as an open maw. 

The strings of saliva fell onto Y/n's forehead. Cheekbone and chin. She felt the tears bubbling in her eyes. 

She screamed. And kicked. But to no avail he didn't move. His mouth latched onto her neck. His teeth penetrated her skin. Y/n could feel the oxygen in her slowly being robbed away. The mixture of the warm blood that ran down her neck. Shoulder and floor and the mixture of the warm saliva made her stomach drop. 

She was going to die. Connor let go of Y/n's wrist. His hands reaching up to tug at her hair. 

Y/n felt her eyes blur up. Tethering from death and life. Hanging on the last tree limb. By letting out a strained cry for help. Hearing the sickening crack of muscles popping and tissue ripping.

Connor placed his hand on Y/n's face. A way to show some sort of sign of affection. 

Y/n felt her left hand searching for something on the floor. Her fingertip brushed a thick shard of glass. Maneuvering it to her grip. She swung her arm around. A shout of pain exiting her throat. She lunged the shark glass into Connor's back. The pressure of gripping the glass. And pulling it from his back, caused her to slice her hand. But that was the least of her worries. 

She felt the teeth that felt like needles sinking into her skin. Quickly leave her neck. She swung again. And it stabbed him in the base of his neck. 

Hearing the groans of pain as Connor sat up. His hand quickly shot up to cover the now waterfall of a wound on his neck. His eyes harden. Glaring down at Y/n as he saw her swing once more. This time. He was quick. His hand catching her by the wrist. His grip tightened. He had an iron grip on her wrist. Y/n let out a shaky sigh. The feeling of her bones being pressured on. And the glass deepening in her skin caused a shaky sob to exit her mouth. 

"...put...the glass...down…" he whispered calmly. His wrist loosened around her wrist. Y/n almost immediately dropped the glass. Hearing the depressing sound of the glass hitting the floor. 

The two stared at each other. The heaving sound of grunts and painful sighs emitting from their forms. Connor's eyes never left Y/n's. Watching as the blood slowly seeped from her. 

Y/n stared up at him. Their eyes locked. Y/n felt lightheaded. Her body felt light. She saw as Connor looked down at the palm of his hand. The crimson substance glimmered from the light that was feet away. 

Y/n felt the tears fall to the ground. As Connor got up. He lifted his form off her. His palm still glued to his neck. She saw as he turned his back from her. She saw him hunched over. Hand on the nearest wall. His head stooped low. As blood and saliva rained down to the floor from his mouth. Strings of saliva. Mixed in with blood. It was like the ladders that were attached to the helicopters to help people on and off. 

"I gave you life...and you do this to me?" His husky voice spoke out. Y/n slowly stood up. Stumbling over. Her blurry vision hadn't subsided. The ringing in her ears only told her...she was near death. He did something to her. 

"What….what did you do to me?" She whispered. Her voice barely above that. 

Y/n heard the cracking of Connor's jaw. He slowly pushed himself from the wall to slowly face Y/n. 

"I gave you life. And YOU'RE GOING TO WALK ON ME?!" He shouts. His voice echoed. It caused Y/n to freeze in her footsteps. 

"You will die...but you will come back...as something more. Something...better." He whispered. Y/n caught on. Her lip quivered. Her hand reached up to press against the wound. 

"Why...would...do that?" She said. Connor walked towards her once more. But his footsteps were slow. 

"It gets lonely here. Being bounded to this god forsaken building..I found you..and Y-"

"NO!" Y/n shouts. Her voice cracking. She breathed heavily as she saw Connor's expression. He didn't have one. His eyebrows knitted together as he watched her back away. Behind a table. Which he slowly rounded to get to her.

"I don't want to be here with you."

"Everyday. You'll see me. You will...learn to appreciate my presence." He said. Y/n felt herself give out. She couldn't hang on much longer. She huffed. Feeling the life literally exit her form as she falls to the ground. Connor stopped walking. Watching as Y/n's form. Laid on the ground. Lifeless.

'Meow'

The soft sound emitting from the animal next to Y/n caused her eyebrows to furrow. She heard birds. Chirping. Singing a melody that broke Y/n from her trance. 

Her eyes opened. She was met with the sun. In all its glory. It didn't give much warmth. But she felt it on her face. The cool ground beneath her was dry. She was outside. Laying in a patch of grass. 

She looked over and saw a figure. Their back was turned. Facing the sun. Which was rising. Y/n could see that she was in a parking lot. The blurry vision subsided. And she could see that...it was Connor. Y/n felt her heart leap into her throat. She sat up slowly. Yet cautiously, pausing in her movements. She felt the thick fabric on the side of her neck where she was bitten by him...and in her hand. She looked down at her palm. Where she once held the glass shard. The stinging pain is still sad evident under the gauze.

She reached a hand up. Placing it on the side of her neck. Her fingertips pressing against the bandage. 

Without a second thought. Y/n heaved herself up. The sudden ruffling of her clothes caught the attention of the cat that was in Connor's arms. The kitten's ear twitched towards Y/n before the kitten glanced over towards her. This also caught the attention of the male that once was the enemy...if Y/n could even call him that.  

Y/n could see the bandage on Connor's neck. As She walked over. She saw his eyes closed. He didn't sleep. But more busy taking in the serene ambience. "Did you...patch me up?" Y/n asked. Her voice was a hushed tone. She stood some ways from him. She glanced around the empty parking lot. Weeds peeking from the asphalt. And many either forgotten cars sat in the lot. Or litter dragged in from rodents of random pedestrians. 

"Correct." Connor replied. His eyes opened. His gray optics glancing at Y/n. 

"Sit will you? Enjoy the sunrise with me." Y/n stared at him. Watching as the sun showed off the features of him. The skin. His eyes. Hair. Just the structure of his face alone, Y/n couldn't help but stare. It was like her fear completely vanished. But she knew. It was still there. Stuck with her. As if it were a secret achievement in her godforsaken life that she didn't care to unlock. Maybe if she learned fear was something important. She would have done things better. Picked better ways to go on with life...but now...she was pretty sure it was too late for that. 

Y/n slowly sat down next to Connor. Crossing her legs. She saw him let go of the kitten. Which the kitty bounded away from somewhere else.  "I've been...vulgar...and I want to apologize for my actions. You see. I consume off of fear...energy that you humans contain. Something that's not often seen around here. I couldn't help myself when I saw you." He spoke. Y/n slowly nods. Glancing away from the sun. And to Connor to see that he was already looking at her. "Am I dead?"

"Yes." Y/n's eye brows furrowed. Not in a way to seem upset...or angry...but more of...being perplexed. How? As she was stuck in her own inner turmoil. Connor index and thumb softly clamped onto her chin. Y/n's mind slowly eased from its debate. She didn't know what to feel.

His eyes scanned her face. His nose once again brushing against Y/n's. 

"Is this...some way for you coax me to try and attack me again?" Y/n whispered. Connor lets out a deep chuckle. 

"No."

"I'd figured since we will see each other constantly...maybe we can get acquainted with one another. I certainly would love to know someone like you...quite hard-headed from what it seems. But...you are something pure." He finished.

Y/n felt her heart drop. Not in a bad way. But in a sense of...intimacy. She stared at him. Licking her lips quickly. Feeling his lips brush against hers. Y/n couldn't...it felt wrong. She pulled away. As if he burned her. 

"No…" she stood up abruptly and turned away to walk off. Towards the building. 

She heard the footsteps behind her. 

"Can you stop following me like some lost poodle?! I don't want to see you." She shouts.

"I'm a patient man, Y/n. We do have all the time in the world. And I can promise you...I will wait for you to come back to me, I'll be that shoulder you can cry on every night. I can be the man that holds you, I can be anything you tell me to be, love. I mean. There's only so much space here you can try and run off to."

Connor said after her. Raising his voice the more distance she made between them. He saw her raise her hand. Her middle finger extended towards his direction as she walked into the nearest exit that led into the building. 

"I love you! I hope to hear from you!" He decided to feed the fire, a way to please himself in the sick joke he thought would he amusing to see her reactions. Only to get a distant shouted reply.

 "Fuck! YOU! Don't talk to me!" Connor placed his arms. Behind his back. Staring at the doorway Y/n disappeared off to. The birds chirping. Singing its melody that Connor would continue to listen to. 

[gallickingun]

could you possibly do something around bakugou and his fem!reader SO losing a pregnancy?? my friend had a shitty bf and the rest is history. she loves your writing and i think it would be cool to "gift" her this, y'know? if it's too much, please don't feel bad! whatever you're comfortable with!

a/n: i’ve had this request in my inbox for.. a little while. couple of days. i originally wasn’t going to write it, i was a little uncomfortable. but then i realized it’s because i’m going through something similar and i didn’t want to face my own feelings. 

but, i officially lost what little hope i had left of my first child this morning. i’ve grieved and i’ve cried and i’ve asked everyone why. my mind is an absolute wreck and i don’t know that i’ve ever shed so many tears. so i hope that this can give your friend something positive in this tough season of her life. my thoughts, my love, and my words are with you both. thank you for being such a good friend 💖

ps, i apologize if it’s short or a little scattered. my heart was breaking while i was writing this. 

The words reach your ears but your body refuses to process them.

You feel hands on your shoulders, in your hair, thumbs on your cheeks as he tries to look you in the eyes. Your focus is just over his shoulder, boring holes into the wall.

Bakugou turns to the doctor, murmuring something you can’t quite make out, and the next thing you know, the front door is shut with a gentle thump.

“Baby?”

Somehow that word means something different than it did 24 hours ago.

Two tears drip down the curves of your cheeks, collecting at your jawline. You know your body is going through something, that you’re shaking but you can’t completely realize it because your mind is on another plane of existence.

Katsuki’s hands are on your cheeks, catching the salt drops rested there, his thumbs swiping gently. He tugs you so you’re looking him in the eyes, his sanguine stare searching your face ferociously. Bakugou swallows the lump in his throat, “Don’t go there.”

“Can’t help it,” you croak, a fresh wave of sadness burdening your body. The weight of the world sits on your shoulders, reality pounding on the door of your heart, begging for you to accept it.

His mouth is on your forehead, your nose, the bow of your lips. He is gentle, hands searching your body for some answer to give you, some resolution to provide. But, the reality of it all, is that both of you are broken down to the very essence of your beings - the hurt and the pain grinding your bones to stardust, begging to be released back into the atmosphere so you can try again once the dust has settled.

“You did nothing wrong,” he murmurs against your ear, holding you close. “This isn’t your fault.”

“It’s my body, Kacchan. Kind of feels like my fault.”

You swear you see the threat of tears making his eyes bulge when you look him directly in the face. Your lower lip wobbles, “I-I wasn’t strong enough.”

His hands are rough as he snatches you by the jaw, holding you captive, “Shut the hell up, do you hear me?”

Bakugou’s cheeks are reddening, breath fast and shallow as his chest heaves with emotion. He licks his lips, trying to come up with all of the right words to say. Tears sit in the corners of his eyelids, threatening to spill over as his frustration rises.

“Y-You are the strongest person I know. Ever.” He grunts, turning his head as the first tear dips over the top of his cheekbone, “This didn’t work out. It doesn’t mean it won’t ever work out again. Or that we did anything wrong.”

There is a silence that drags out between the two of you, the both of your eyes completely zeroed in on one another. You map out the angles and edges of his face - his features and the way they portray every emotion swimming through his soul. Bakugou’s nostrils flare as his irises flit over you, noting the way your lip shakes and your jaw muscles tense. He wants to relieve you of all the pressure building up inside of you, threatening to burst forth like a volcano - all magma and rage, burning you up from the inside out.

Bakugou knows how it feels to be on fire.

The softening of his gemstone irises makes your shoulders give in, the weight of your own personal universe falling like marbles, the planets you’ve been carrying dropping to the ground when you fall forward.

His arms cinch around your shoulders, taping you back together as his palms rub over your broken posture, head hung low between the two of you. Bakugou pulls you into his lap, leaning back against the wall as you sob into his shirt. He tugs you down so you’re tucked underneath his chin, the front of his t-shirt the perfect handkerchief in your time of need.

“Shh,” his voice is uncharacteristically raw, tone just on the right side of shattering. Bakugou’s throat bobs against the top of your head, a kiss dropped into your hair like a flower, “I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.”

You claw at him, begging to dig your fingers into something solid, something concrete. Everything feels like it could fall out from under you at any moment and you just want something that’s going to stay the same.

Bakugou is the most consistent thing in your entire life.

He is always there for you, even when things get unpleasant. He is there to hold you, keep you sane, in spite of the overbearing duty of being a Pro Hero.

“Am I damaged?” you sob into his shoulder, tears soaking his skin and the fabric of his tee. You sniffle, unable to look him in the eyes because you know his gaze will be that gentle kind of angry, the one that says you should think much higher of yourself.

His kisses are in your hair, on your temple, “No, no. You are incredible.”

“Then why am I so-”

“You are nothing short of amazing,” Bakugou hushes you, curling his index and thumb around your jaw, tilting your head back. His face is soaked in tears and you’re surprised by his utterly raw display of emotion, “It just wasn’t the right time. That’s all.”

You know that this conversation is far from over. The feelings in your chest are so confusing that you can’t make any of them out - none but defeat and despair. It will take you too long to process this, and you are too tired already.

“Wanna take a bath?” he asks.

Bakugou’s thumb traces your lower lip and you know he wants to kiss you, but your heart just isn’t in it. You feel the weight of betrayal from your own body sitting on your shoulders as if there were a monkey on your back. You nod in response and he is picking you up off the ground, carrying you effortlessly into the bathroom.

As he helps you step into the sudsy bathwater, you curl your fingers around his palm, “Kacchan-”

“Hm?” he tilts his head, the fake smile plastered on his face for your benefit stinging like an insect bite. You keep yourself from busting into tears again, the warmth from the water lapping over your chest, bubbles sticking for a mere second before the air pops them in silence.

You lean forward just enough to touch his mouth to yours, “I love you.”

This next smile you see tug on the corners of his mouth, and this one is genuine. His eyes are shining and even though there are tears in his eyes, he falls into you, returning the fervor of your mouth.

He echoes the three-word sentiment into the space between your teeth and tongue, repeating the syllables like a sacrament. His hand is in your hair and you want to pull him into the tub with you, but you know better - he is still fully clothed.

“Everything will be okay,” you mange, slipping your fingers through his hair in a soothing motion. “As long as I have you.”

Bakugou nods, his thumb ghosting over your jawline, “So long as I have you.”

And, just as you expected, it does take time to get over the sense of hopelessness. 

However, it’s much easier with your partner and best friend by your side. 

–

wow, i’m sad but happy. i’m sappy! i know this one was short but i wanted to at least get something out for it. thank you so much for the request and i am thinking of your friend always 💕

tagging: @simplybakugou @kamehamethot @lady-bakuhoe @todorki-shoto @redhawtriot @burnedbyshoto @cookies-n-chaos @katsukisprincess @rat-suki @cutesuki--bakugou @k-atsukidayo @bnhatrashh @succulent-momma @voiceofreader @multifandom-fanfic @that-one-enthusiast @bitchtrynafck @cutest-celestial-princess @blue-peach14 @pastel-prynce @bokunokangae @shoutodoki @bakuoushoe @tenyaingenium @hoe-biscus @kingtamakimurder @myherofuckademia @myherowritings @lxvely-mha @myherorambles @bratwritings @samanthaa-leanne @orokayagi @queensynderella dl

[summerofsnowflakes]

1. Tipsy Decisions

Summary: Y/n and Daveed has been flirty friends for a while, she decides to make them a little more than just friends after getting a lil bit drunk. 

Daveed Diggs x Reader 

Word Count: 2K 

Warnings: 18+ There is some smut. 

A/N: This was purely a self indulgent story for myself after a pretty crappy evening.   Enjoy 

Although the night was young, you had already managed to get a tipsy far too early. You and your friends were out for a chilled night at a bar in the city, convinced at this stage you had surpassed that club lifestyle. However, even in the early stages of the night the group got louder and actions got sillier, if you were being honest with yourselves, you couldn't further from the truth. As you sat around the table chatting you noticed the missing presence of two very important members of the group, Rafael and Daveed. You and Daveed had the flirty banter friendship thing going perfectly, but there was something between you but neither of you seemed ready to take this further than that for the time being. Maybe tonight could change that.

"Earth you Y/n." The sound of your friend's voice bought you back to reality.

"Sorry what?" You asked, you could feel your body heating up.

You were met with a knowing look. "And who were you thinking of then huh missy? They asked in a teasing tone.

You glared, they were very aware of your situation. "I doubt I need to say it really, but I'm going to sleep with Daveed."

"Excuse me?" You were met with an amused look.

You repeated yourself. "Tonight's the night, I am going home with Daveed. Providing he's happy with that of course. "

"Good one sis." You know your firend saw it as a joke because you had said this before, countless times actually and you always chicken out. You ignored the disbelief in their voice and focused on letting the liquid courage relax you and enjoyed the nervous buzz as you impatiently waited for Daveed and Rafa to arrive.

You were not disappointed by the sight you were met with as he made his way over your table, he was dressed in a plaid cuffed trousers and white dress shirt that was tight enough that it accentuated his arms. His signature curls bounced as he stepped. You felt like you your skin was buzzing in anticipation. Daveed always looked good but tonight was another level, you were already so gone for him. He managed to land himself in a chair next to you and you were hit with his cologne as he pulled you into a hug to say hello. You wanted to melt into his touch right there, but you pulled yourself back and acted as though he wasn't having this effect on you. You reveled in the attention he focused on you, and flirted with him non stop, you left light touches on his arm and you made sure he had a good shot of your cleavage. You did your best to be more full on than normal, in the hopes he would catch on, it certainly didn't go unnoticed by Rafael and Daveed as they shot each other unspoken looks about your behaviour.

You and the girls had decide dance as the drinks continued to flow, while the remaining friends stayed sitting, they changed up seats to so they could chat over the music in the bar. You weren't aware but Daveed couldn't take his eyes off you. Your not so subtle tactics had really been paying off for him and he was entranced as  swayed your hips to the beat and sang along, you were having the best time but it was time to set you plan in motion. You 'accidentally' tripped right by where he was sitting so that as you fell you landed in his lap, you giggled loudly.

"You okay Y/n? you didn't hurt yourself?" He looked at you with concern and he naturally placed his hands on your body.

Still laughing you replied as sweetly as you could. "I'm fine, sorry hun total accident. Thank you for cushioning my fall though." You ran hand down the opening of his shirt and hooked your fingers around his necklace, ghosting your fingers over his chest as you spoke.

He laughed back still holding onto your body. "Anytime sweetheart."

"I must say though Diggs, you look positively fantastic with me on top of you."

"Oh yeah? well you are a beautiful sight."

You looked away momentarily as you felt your shyness trying to creep back in. You shook her off quickly though before leaning in closer to him. "Can I tell you a secret D?" He leant in too before you continued. "I'd like to be on top of you without any clothes on."

Daveed coughed loudly as you spoke to drown out your words to the people around you, he looked around the group quickly to check whether you had been heard. His eyes flickered back to you, studying your face as he tried to figure out whether you're joking.

"I would let you take me right here if you would let me." You purred into his ear.

That was enough for him he felt the room spin at your words. "Meet me in the bathroom." He whispered back and you nodded giddily at your success.  

The next five minutes were a total blur and it wasn't until you were being pressed up against a cubical wall that your head resurfaced from the Daveed's intoxicating waters. You held on to him for dear life as he assaulted your lips and your neck with kisses, you were desperate for one another. One hand trailed down your body while his other hand was placed at the side of your head, you were trapped, not that you were trying to go anywhere. You deepened the kiss and you felt his hand reach under the short flowy dress and his fingers ghosted along your panties. You moaned at the mere contact with his hands on you and his other hand flew to your mouth.

"Y/n, baby. You need to be quiet darling or you're gunna get us in trouble." Unable to talk, you nodded in response.

He let go of your mouth and went back to work down below as he roughly kissed you again. He expertly moved your panties to the side and he ran his finger slowly over your clit, you could have come undone right there it. He moved slowly in a circular motion and your head fell back against the wall, your breathing increased at the pressure you felt on your most sensitive area. You heard the door to the bathroom swing open and you gasped as Daveed used this opportunity to slip his finger inside of you.

"Y/n. Are you okay? Do you need me to hold your hair back hun?" You heard one of your friends call out from the other side of the cubical. Your eyes widened and he smiled devilishly nodding at you to answer while he continued to expertly work you close to your orgasm with his fingers.

Through ragged breathing you found your voice, "I'm all good, just ummm. Just needed a minute to myself. I'll be out soon."

"Okay, well text me in you need me yeah?" She asked.

"Of course, thanks lovely."

When she had gone Daveed pulled his fingers out of you, teasingly slowly. Just as the knot in your stomach had began to form and you whined in response. Daveed ignored you and spoke softly and sweetly as though he didn't just have his fingers buried deep inside of you.  "Make an excuse to leave, I'll have an car out front in five. I'll go out first." He left with one more kiss to the lips. Needless to say your plan had gone way better than expected. You let out soft laugh to yourself about what had just happened, still in disbelief he left you in sexual suspense, half finished.  

By the time you had made your excuses, gotten the taxi to Daveed's flat and sat down on his sofa, you had more than enough time to feel more sober. In the cold light of the early hours of the morning your courage had diminished and you began to worry you had gone a bit too far with all of this. It seemed Daveed was in the same boat and as he handed you a glass of whiskey. Your hand brushed against his and you both chuckled to yourself about the whole evening. He powered through the awkwardness and sat himself down next to you, he started a conversation about something really random that helped you both feel more at ease. The drinks went down easy and the soft touches started back up again. Daveed's body called out to you and you couldn't resist him any longer. In a bold move you crawled into his lap to straddle him and ran your hands across his chiseled torso, he watched the movement of your hands very aware of his heavy breathing.

"Don't be nervous D, I told you earlier you look best when I am on top of you. Now stop fretting and kiss me." You brought your lips to meet his in a passionate kiss and both snapped back to the confident groove from earlier. In the heat of the kiss Daveed placed his hand firmly on your hips and moved you back and forth forcefully against the hardness of his cock. You both moaned at the sensation of the friction caused by your movements and you began to take over, grinding into him to show how much you were craving his touch.

Through the ragged breathing Daveed whispered in your ear. "Not that I am not enjoying this Y/n, but I want to finish what I started earlier for you Y/n? Clearly you itching with anticipation." His words sent a shudder down your spine and your cursed him silently for being so cocky even if he was right.

"Please." Was the only response you could manage as your body ached for his touch. He answered your prayers but teasingly so, he ran his hand up and down your body before slipping his hand under your dress for the second time that evening. This time lightly grazed his fingers agonizingly slow along your leg  and you wriggled in response trying to get him to touch you. He chucked lowly at your impatience. "Y/n you're body is so irresistible to me, let me enjoy touching you and I promise I'll get you there."

You let go of your impatience and allow him to have his way and when you were least expecting it he inserted his finger deep inside of you and you cried out in pleasure. He started off moving in and out slowly and you allowed him to have full control of your body. You whispered his name along with a full list of profanities. You started rocking yourself back and forth in time with his finger and he added another finger inside of you. You were a full on mess on top of him riding his hand and chasing your much needed relief, still pent up from earlier. Daveed looked up at you in total awe as did all the work yourself, his trousers grew incredibly tight. When sensed you were getting close he added a third finger and with his other hand he reached for your clit and massaged in a circular motion going at the same pace you were riding his hand.  Within second you were coming undone on top of him the pleasure sent shockwaves through your body as you rode out your high out slower now you had fallen over the edge.

As you came back down to earth you opened your eyes that had been screwed shut for who knows how long and Daveed is already smiling up and you. He looked proud of himself and you let out a breathless laugh.

"Girl, you have got me so gone. That was the hottest thing I've ever seen." Daveed spoke gleefully before leaning in and kissing you once again. "You think you can take another one?"

You smiled back at him, still floating. "D, I'm completely at your mercy."

That was all he needed to hear.

[bean-boy-clown]

Does your area have longterm care ombudsmen? You can google your region plus longterm care ombudsmen to find contact info. It sounds like you're in a longterm care setting like a group home or something, and i don't get why they're not helping with laundry or anything! Also, have you been checked for lymphedema if your feet are swelling :( It just seems like staff should be helping you with stuff, maybe the ombudsmen people could help make that happen, it's not just for abuse or anything

• I will start by saying I don't know much about my area because I'm not actually from this state - I moved here in 2017 and was in and out of in-patient and programs for a bit.

• I do live in a group home!!!! They don't pay for our laundry (there's actually a machine downstairs but a staff i trust implied not to use it - not to mention the thought of going in the basement freaks me out)....I go to a laundromat. They don't pay for those kinds of things for example laundry because we have to "learn independence," while living here.

• We also have to pay rent; I get emergency cash benefit (it's like food stamps except I can take $$$$ off the card to put on my debit card)....I get $320 a month and our rent is supposed to be 75% of our income (legally they have to leave us with at least $200) - I get $200 a month. It's all really complicated to be honest with y'all.

• I am unable to work at the moment - it's a lot to explain but in short: i was traumatized and lowkey abused? at one my job and had to leave then and i worked somewhere else where I'd have panic attacks/anxiety attacks in the bathroom - suffer through my paranoia and severe anxiety on the sales floor which really fucked me up. I can't handle that stress right now, my mental feels so fragile and disables me.

• I struggle in public and usually need someone with me for support. I feel extremely vulnerable too because I will go out of my way most often to help others which does cause paranoia. I do have flashbacks often, zone out/walk around totally out of it or the other extreme severely scared/anxious/paranoid and in my head.

• They provide food here but it usually goes bad because other residents don't save it properly and staff are "supposed" to make us one meal at night but that doesn't happen regularly. I am capable of cooking but am usually really low energy to cook everyday.

• But they provide wifi, air conditioning in your room for summer, and when you first move in they give you a dresser, bedside table, and a bed. The beds are very cheap but honestly I'm just glad to have one and live here.

• This is supposed to be a two year living situation. Supposedly DMH is cracking down on people's time here or so I've been told. After that two years you're expected to find housing through emergency housing or the program provides you an apartment.

• Also about my feet swelling - I have an uncontrolled thyroid? I can't remember how my doctor worded it. All I know is I have thyroid problems and my feet swell alot to the point where even socks are uncomfortable.

☆• Sorry for such a long response •☆

☆• I genuinely appreciate any and all support with this stuff (whether it be listening to me/us talking about it/sharing experiences and etc)....

☆• As it is disability awareness month - I will be completely open....I have an invisible disability, my mental health & other things disables me and while it's difficult to cope - talking with other disabled folks and opening up has really helped.

☆• Don't be afraid to send me an ask - anon or not!!!! I don't always have the spoons to answer right away but I will try my best to do so.

☆• Be well and be safe.

~ Garfie?Beabs/Beans 💖🧚🏻‍♂️

[silverineontherun]

I don't know what you mean exactly when you say "Keith prompts" but I have always had a soft spot for royal Keith or knight Keith (*-*) Anyway, HB to this beautiful boy, so precious, must protect him at all costs ♡

As usual, I don’t provide enough info, sorry 😂 I intended to write small pieces for Keith if people asked for something specific! Now, for Knight Keith, I have a snippet of a discarded fic I wrote a while ago, Knight Lance x Knight Keith. This was the part that inspired the whole thing, actually, I hope you like it!

***

Snippet from “The Heart of the Lotus” (Klance, Medieval/Fantasy AU, discontinued)

Sir Lance remembers to shut his mouth on time, clearing his throat and commanding his men to descend from their horses and form in front of the first set of stairs that lead to the entrance, where a line of soldiers and courtiers dressed in solid black and red are already waiting for them.

He checks on his company and corroborates they are standing in clean formation just as instructed, to his utmost relief. Proud, he feels his chest swelling as Coran hurries back to the princess’ carriage to help her descend from it. Lance walks in front of his people instead, facing the Thayserians who look at them like hawks. They look like servants and guards, and Lance is glad they are not being received directly by the king himself, feeling uncomfortable under his sweaty clothes. The trip was long and the entire contingent needs to refresh before the anticipated meeting…

That’s when, suddenly, the local soldiers break their formation in two, leaving some space right in the middle. The servants hurry to the sides, keeping their heads low, and a figure appears from behind them and walks resolutely to Lance’s encounter. 

He is dressed in black from head to toe, from his shiny boots to his elegant silk robe, a garment Lance hasn’t seen before, decorated in soft grey patterns that surround his wide torso like a painted canvas. Just like the Palace itself, the only ornament that adds some color to his outfit is a long red scarf, crossing his chest and dangling behind him, secured to his shoulders by two silver pins with the shape of flowers — flowers whose name escapes him right now, but are part of Thayserix royal family’s crest. The ends of the silky scarf flutter like a weightless cape behind him as he walks.

This time it’s not that easy to keep his jaw from slacking. The closer the man gets, the more Lance can appreciate his gorgeous features while feeling absolutely struck by them. 

So... what had Coran said about King Shiro? 

Dark hair, sharp eyes, high cheekbones…

Check, check, and check. The man’s pale face is framed by rebellious black hair that falls to his shoulders and suits him disturbingly well, despite its unkempt state. The rigid line of his mouth is not amicable, but Lance can’t stop staring at it, his head momentarily empty with only Coran’s voice resonating inside. 

‘Beauty can be a lethal distraction…’

Indeed, thinks the Altean First Royal Guard sweating a bit because, in that regal attitude and the way the man’s eyes scan the whole contingent and then settle on him as if measuring him, he can testify that ‘lethal’ and ‘beauty’ can absolutely go together, and the king of Thayserix is the living proof of that.

But he isn’t one to be intimidated by looks, no sir. He will let nothing distract him from his duties, and this is the best moment to show that. Sweeping his hair back and then taking his fist to his chest — ignoring how his feet seem to need some convincing before moving again—, he walks until he meets the king in the middle of the esplanade, and before they can lock eyes, he bends the knee and lowers his head, wishing to appear humble and obliging.

“Your Majesty,” he says loudly so his people can hear him too. “It is truly an honor to make your acquaintance. I am Sir Lance of Altea, and I speak on behalf of Princess Allura of Altea, deeply grateful for your welcome, and in hopes of being of service to you, as you may see fit.”

Silence. Lance is satisfied with his words for around three seconds until he notices the unnatural silence around him. He frowns, not daring to raise his face yet, a bit taken aback by the fact he doesn’t even get an answer, until, finally, a manly voice answers him.

“Welcome. Our king has been eagerly awaiting your arrival.”

A pause. Lance, stunned, raises his eyes slowly, and he finds the man’s eyes not looking at him, but at the people and the carriages. From this close, Lance notices a scar that crosses his right cheek, and also the long sword hanging from his side, as well as his gloved hands. 

If he wasn’t so dazzled by that first impression, he could have noticed before that the man has no crown and probably never will. He confirms it when he finally has the delicacy of introducing himself.

“I am Keith, King Shiro’s Shield Guardian. I am to lead you to your new chambers…” The man makes a pause, and his eyes settle on Lance again. With a smirk, he murmurs: “Your Majesty.”

And that’s when Lance feels the weight of the entire world dropping right over his head. Unable to turn back to his people, with his cheeks burning, he watches how the Thayserians hurry to help the Alteans with their luggage and horses, while this Lord Keith turns around with the ghost of a smile lingering on his lips. Pinned to the floor and humiliated, Lance’s mind fills with gibberish until he reconnects his brain to his limbs, and then, furious, adrenaline propels him forward, deaf to Coran’s call coming from behind. 

“Wait a moment! Hey!”

Lord Keith stops and looks back, curious. Lance struggles a bit to find his words. He doesn’t remember ever being this mad in his entire life.

“You— How— You!!” 

“Excuse me?” asks Keith, looking unimpressed. This irritating attitude is like oil to Lance’s already burning rage.

“You... How could you let me bend the knee in front of you instead of your king? Have you no shame?!” he fumes.

Keith makes a pause, staring at him with cold eyes. And Lance adds another unwanted discovery to his list: the knight’s irises are colored in a strange shade of violet, regarding him with an intensity that makes him feel they can see through him. His heart beats faster at this against his will, and he notices the heat creeping up from his neck up to his cheeks once more. Worse, when Keith smirks again, his gaze inevitably drops to his full lips instead.

“It was funny,” he says, shrugging. He smirks wider at Lance’s outraged expression, and turning around, he adds, “Your men are really loyal to you. Laudable, though I honestly feel for them.”

He starts walking again and Lance stays there letting his arms dangle foolishly by his sides, confused, until he hears Coran’s voice calling him and he turns around to find the group of Alteans and Thayserians catching up to them. The Alteans look at the tall ceiling and the splendidly illuminated corridor with curiosity, but the warden, followed closely by Allura, stomps his way like a pissed off yalmor.

“What was that, Sir Lance?! Do you intend to shame us in front of our hosts since day one?!” he nags in muffled but furious whispers.

“I-I’m sorry. I honestly thought— I mean, did you see him? You said— Uh...” stutters Lance, ashamed.

“Don’t be so hard on Sir Lance, Coran. Besides, you saw how the guards reacted, didn’t you?” says Allura, amused. It’s the first time Lance sees her smile sincerely in weeks. Coran sighs, shaking his head.

“What did they do?” Lance asks eyeing his men, uneasy. The least he needs right now is sabotaging his own leadership among them in alien territory, yet there he goes, blowing everything for hurrying too much like he promised he would never do again.

However, at that moment he catches sight of Hunk, just when Coran grumbles:

“They also kneeled down. So you looked less foolish, and we looked way more well behaved than we really are. Truly, nothing short of a miracle.”

But the miracle has a name for sure, and when Hunk gives Lance two thumbs up, the knight seriously considers running his way and asking for his hand in marriage right there. He has done enough damage to their first impression as it is, though, so he has to be content with putting his hands together and murmuring a teary ‘thank you’ while making a mental note to get his friend the finest ale or similar treat these lands can offer. The rest of the men don’t look too worried about it, luckily. Maybe they think that was the right protocol. Maybe they just want to save face.

Or maybe the Thayserians maids are also very pretty and very distracting, which explains their dumbfounded looks, though Lance has trouble worrying about that with Lord Keith’s hateful smirk imprinted in his memory, filling his stomach with nothing but pure liquid rage and uneasy, unwelcome tension.

[kpophours]

One Love || part II

➵ SF9: Youngbin x fem. reader / series, werewolf AU / fluff

➵ warnings: slight cursing, slight mentions of alcohol

➵ word count: 2.6k

previous. | next.

Youngbin stood in the middle of his office, blood rushing to his head. He was shaking, heart beating way too fast and breath coming out in shallow, quick huffs.

He had just met his mate. 

You were his mate. 

His knees buckled and he had to lean against the wall behind him for support. 

He had just met his mate for the first time and like a complete idiot, he had run away from you. 

But he'd simply been unable to cope in that moment - he never would have thought that he’d ever meet his mate, never would have dreamed of meeting you here, in his shop... Inseong had said you smelled different to him, but that you definitely wasn't his mate - well, the slightly older man had been right, you smelled differently to wolves, because you were his, Youngbin’s mate.

He took in a shaky breath and let out a small, humorless laugh.

Inseong’s scientific assistant was his mate. Of course his and Inseong’s lives had to be intertwined even more. That was just his luck - the relationship he had with the slightly older man was rocky to say the least, thanks to their past. But they had finally begun to work together again these last few months, sharing the burden of being oldest of their pack and having to care for the younger wolves. He knew Inseong wouldn't be happy about yet another person - which whom he had to spend a lot of time with - being "seized" by Youngbin. First his beloved cousin, now his scientific assistant - who Inseong liked, that much was obvious, even though he had been working with you for only two days so far. He had been practically gushing about you yesterday!

"What a mess.", Youngbin murmured and closed his eyes, taking another deep breath to calm himself. 

"Hey... Uhm, are you okay?" your soft voice suddenly asked from beside him, making him jump. He opened his eyes, blinking down at you.

God, you were beautiful. 

He just wanted to bury his nose in the soft waves of your hair. 

You just... smelled so good, how was he ever supposed to concentrate around you? 

And your eyes... those eyes! 

He stared at you in wonder. 

"Uhm… Mr. Kim?" You sounded nervous and drew your eyebrows together, "Are you okay? You look a bit pale." 

"Youngbin. Please... just call me Youngbin.", he finally answered, trying to smile. Your face immediately softened and you returned his smile. You were even more radiant than before and he gulped. "Uh, Hwi is looking at your car right now, I hope?" 

You nodded. "He is indeed - he said I could wait in the office and that you would make some coffee or tea." Now, you full on grinned, "So, I thought I should take you up on his offer." 

Youngbin rolled his eyes, but his bright grin betrayed his real emotions. 

He is even more handsome when he smiles, you thought to yourself, trying to ignore your fast beating heart. 

"Well, I guess I’ll have to show you my hospitality now, won't I? We don't want you to be disappointed.", Youngbin joked and you nodded grimly, though your eyes were sparkling with hidden humor. Youngbin gestured towards one of the chairs inside the office, before turning towards the coffee machine. "Espresso, Latte Macchiato, Cappuccino?", he asked, face turned away from you. He was still trying to get his facial expressions in order as he didn't think it would be wise to show you his apparent wonder and admiration - that would surely just scare you away. 

"Cappuccino please." Your voice... he could listen to your voice for forever. 

"So... you're Inseong’s new scientific assistant, I heard?" God, he was truly horrible at small talk. 

"I am indeed." You sounded amused. When he turned around again, the two cups of freshly made coffee in his hands, you had crossed your legs and were observing him with a watchful expression on your face. He felt a bit helpless - something not often accomplished as he was an alpha and therefore a born leader. 

"Thank you.", you said when he placed one of the mugs in front of you, taking a seat behind his desk - the table providing a much appreciated barrier between you two.

"So, what's it like to work with Inseong?" 

"Well, I've only had the pleasure of working with him for two days so far - but he is very kind and I'm sure we’ll get along just perfectly. You have known him for a long time, right?", you asked and raised the cup to you lips, gently blowing on the hot beverage, before taking a careful sip. 

"Yes. One could even say we grew up together - so we share a lot of history.", Youngbin answered, voice rather tight. 

"You don't sound too pleased about that." 

"He's like family to me. But as so often, one doesn't always see eye to eye in a family." 

"You argue, you mean." 

Youngbin smiled, humorless. "Some would probably say too much." 

You sighed. "It's the same with me and my brother.", you confessed, "We are very different people - and whenever we see each other, we begin to argue." Youngbin took a sip of coffee as well, before asking: "About what?" 

"Oh, you know..." You lazily waved one hand, shrugging, "About this and that. Sometimes about stupid, unimportant stuff, but mostly about his perception of the world or how it should be - at least in his eyes... let's just say, he's not very open-minded." 

"Other than you?" 

"I would like to think so, yes. What about you, would you consider yourself to be an open-minded person, Youngbin?" You fixated him with glinting eyes, the corners of your lip curling into a slight smile.

It was the first time you said his name - and he wanted you to repeat it over and over again, never before had his name sounded so beautifully. "I would like to think so, yes. But there are boundaries to my tolerance." 

At this, you nodded thoughtfully. "That's not a bad thing per se. It depends on what you tolerate or don't - everything should be within reason." 

"We see eye to eye, then." 

You smiled at him and he swore, his heart stopped for a few seconds. 

You talked about this and that for the next half an hour and time simply flew by - way too soon, Hwiyoung entered the office, telling you about finishing the check up on your car. "There's a minor damage concerning the steering mechanism, but it's not too bad. You can make another appointment to have it fixed next week. Other than that, you're good to go.", the young man explained, wiping his grimy hands on an even grimier towel. You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God, you had me scared for a second. Can I make that appointment now?" 

Hwiyoung looked at Youngbin, who nodded. "Of course." With that, he opened his MacBook and clicked on his calendar. "What time and day suits you best?", he asked, trying not to look at you with too much admiration in his eyes - just so Hwiyoung wouldn't notice anything being amiss with his alpha.

"Uh, well... to be honest, I'm free most of the time. I have to work Monday till Friday from 9 to 6 or 6.30pm latest, but that's about it..." You smiled, a tad embarrassed, "I don't really know anyone around town just yet - well, except for Inseong of course - so I don't have any plans next week. What day would suit you guys the best?" 

Youngbin thought about it for a second. "What about next Tuesday, 7pm?" 

"But you'll be alone at that time!", Hwiyoung immediately protested, but Youngbin just shrugged. "I don't have any other appointment that day and I think I can repair the damage on my own." He looked at you and you nodded in confirmation: "Tuesday, 7pm it is, then."

"Perfect. See you on Tuesday.", Youngbin tried to sound nonchalantly, which earned him another smile from you. 

He would never get used to your beautiful smile - not in a thousand years. 

"Thank you for having a look at my car, Hwiyoung. See you guys!" With that, you waved at them, took your car keys from Hwiyoung and left the office - not before giving one last look and smile to Youngbin, who couldn't help but softly smile back at you. 

When you were gone, Hwiyoung turned around to look at his alpha. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile this much in such a short amount of time.", he commented, raising an eyebrow suspiciously, "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, don't get on my nerves.", Youngbin just grumbled, rolling his eyes and closing his MacBook again, "Let's pack things up and go home.“

The rest of Youngbin’s week was spent thinking about his mate way too often. He knew he should talk to the rest of the pack - or at least to Inseong - but he hadn’t been ready for that yet. He was still digesting that he had really, finally found his mate. 

“Youngbin!“ 

He looked up, surprise written all over his face. “What?“, he asked, gazing at the rest of the pack. “It’s your turn to draw out our new routes for running.“, Chani said, raising one eyebrow, “Where the hell are you with your thoughts? Is everything alright? You’ve been acting strange these last few days.“ 

Youngbin sighed deeply and rubbed his face, tiredness washing over him. He should really try to concentrate, the youngest pack member was right. “Yes, sorry. I’m just... tired, that’s all. I’ll tell you guys about your new routes tonight, I promise.“ With that, he abruptly stood up and left the living room - leaving the rest of the pack somewhat bewildered behind. 

“What’s up with him?“, Taeyang asked, confused, and looked at his older brothers. „I don’t know, but something’s up. He’s been acting very strange for a few days now.“, Hwiyoung murmured, drawing his eyebrows together and thinking hard, “I think it started on Tuesday?“ 

“Did something happen at the shop? Something out of the ordinary?“, Zuho inquired and Hwiyoung shook his head. “Not that I know of. We had a few cars to repair and late in the evening, Inseong’s new scientific assistant came by, but that was about it…“ 

“Y/N was at the shop?“, Rowoon asked, earning himself a few surprised looks. 

“Do you know her?“ 

He nodded. “Yeah, Inseong introduced me yesterday. I like her, she’s really nice!“ 

“Huh... Well, I think she should come over sometime soon, so that we all get to finally meet her.“, Jaeyoon suggested, sounding a bit jealous. Dawon nodded. “Yes, especially as she’s going to be around Inseong so often - it’s only logical.“ 

Taeyang frowned at his older brothers. “Not really. It’s not as if both will be hanging around each other all the time during their free time.“, he tried to reason, but the other two just threw him dirty looks.

Meanwhile, Youngbin listened in on their conversation, hiding on top of the staircase. 

So, the others had noticed he was behaving a bit more strange after all. 

Damn it. 

He definitely had to do better in the future - or at least until he had decided what to do about his mate.

The rest of your week passed in a blur - you got some stuff for your apartment, finally unpacked the last boxes, went out for drinks with Inseong and spent a relaxed weekend at home with a Lord of the Rings marathon and a bottle of your favorite red wine. 

You felt very content and relaxed when you entered the office on Monday morning, but to your surprise, Inseong was nowhere to be found. Instead, a handsome stranger sat in his chair, fiddling his thumbs and seemingly waiting for him as well.

“Uh… Good morning.“, you said, raising both eyebrows, „Not to be rude - but who are you and what are you doing in my office?“ 

A dimpled smile lit up the stranger’s face and he immediately jumped up from the chair, walking around Inseong’s desk. He was tall and broad, with brown wavy hair and large, dark eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry! I was just waiting for Inseong, because I have to ask him something personal. You must be Y/N, his new scientific assistant, right?“ 

You nodded, shaking his offered hand. “And you are…?“ 

“Oh, sorry!“ His laugh was infectious. “I’m Jaeyoon, I’m part of the same pac- uh, we’re roommates!“, he finally explained, scratching his head and smiling down at you. 

“Ahh, right! He told me about his living conditions - you’re nine in total, right? Well, it’s nice to meet you, Jaeyoon.“, you smiled back at him, “But I have to say - I can’t help you. I actually thought Inseong would be here by now. He’s never been late so far.“ You frowned, gnawing on your lower lip. “I hope nothing has happened to him...“

“To whom? To me?“, an amused voice behind you suddenly asked and you whirled around. And there, just stepping through the door and into the office, was no other than your missing boss - two cups of steaming hot coffee in his hands. “I’m late one time and you immediately think something must have happened to me. I don't know if I should be flattered or offended.“ With that, he grinned at you and handed you one of the cups. “Hi Jaeyoon. What are you doing here?“, he then asked the other man, raising both eyebrows in a questioning manner. 

“Oh, I… uh, actually forgot.“ Jaeyoon frowned, thinking hard. “I wanted to ask you something, but it must have slipped my mind… I’ll just text you later if I can think of it again. See you! Bye Y/N - it was nice meeting you.“ He quickly smiled at you before hurrying out of the office. 

“Well, he seems nice.“, you said, before taking your place behind the desk. 

“Mostly… But he’s one half of the chaos line, so he can be quite… challenging at times.“, Inseong agreed, seating himself behind his desk as well. 

“The chaos line?“, you asked, confused, and Inseong laughed. “That’s what I call him and another one of my broth- uh, roommates, Dawon. They can be quite a handful - very mischievously, especially together.“ 

“Sounds exhausting.“ 

“Well, they can be. But they’re also real moodmakers. You’ll probably meet Dawon soon enough, if I know him at all. And to be quite honest, I think that was Jaeyoon’s plan all along as well - I don’t think he wanted to see me, but to finally see you.“ 

You laughed at that and shook your head. “Cheeky.“ 

“Oh, he is. But come to speak of it... Would you want to come over for dinner some time this week? Then you’ll finally meet my whole pac- I mean, my whole family.“, Inseong looked quite nervous upon asking you, which made you smile. He truly was just such a sweet guy.

“Oh, I would love that - I can make dessert, if you like!“ 

Inseong clapped his hand together, excitement written all over his face. “Oh, that’ll make Rowoon very happy - he loves cooking, but he’s not that much into making desserts. I’ll ask the others which day suits them best and confirm with you again?“, he said, obviously pleased with your response. 

“That sounds perfect, thank you.“, you agreed and returned his smile.

With that, you both finally began to concentrate on your work for the day.

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