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melismaticmadness · 4 years ago

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CONFETTI

Description: Fluff-ish

1940 words

Warnings: Language, Talks of Sex, a little heated

*bold text is a text message*

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

***********************************

After finishing my makeup, I finally felt all my nerves for tonight hit me. It was my fourth date with Charlie tonight. He might decide to never see me again after tonight, usually, fourth dates make or break it.

On top of all of that, it was New Year’s Eve. He planned to have dinner at 8pm, so if it doesn’t end well I will spend yet another New Year without a kiss at midnight. I’ve never really dated since I was working and in school at the same time, so I’ve never actually considered having someone to kiss on New Year’s Eve. Hell, Charlie was my first kiss after our second date and he (hopefully) doesn’t even know. Being an adult virgin in LA wasn’t exactly cool, but it wasn’t something I advertised. If tonight does end well, what are my plans for the night?

“Let’s not worry about that out now,” I said to myself.

The restaurant he picked is beautiful, and I want to make sure I match the vibes with my outfit tonight. Better to be overdressed than underdressed. After doing my makeup lightly and curling my hair, it’s almost time for him to pick me up.

i'm about 5 minutes away

sounds good, im almost ready. want me to meet you downstairs?

10 minutes pass, with no answer from Charlie. I don’t want to text him again especially if he’s still driving. Just as I was tossing my phone back onto the couch I heard a knock at my door.

“Hey, beautiful,” Charlie said bashfully, “sorry I didn’t answer your text. The lady was lecturing me on my flower choice as I picked my order up.”

“Oh my god, they’re beautiful!! Thank you, you didn’t have to!” I loved peonies and was shocked he remembered. I kissed him quickly as I took the flowers from his hand.

“I wanted to. You ready?”

“Yep! Let me grab my bag and a jacket, come in.” I ran to set the flowers down on my counter, grab my stuff, and go.

We were seated outdoors at the restaurant and thankfully it wasn’t a cold LA night.

It is so easy talking to Charlie. I feel like we’ve known each other since we were kids. We talked about music, and my time in college, and his experience moving to LA, things our families did for the holidays since we didn’t see each other, and other things.

*************************

Dinner was winding down and we had talked for two hours already. Charlie didn’t order a drink because he knows how I am about driving after, and I didn’t either in solidarity. I really didn’t want the night to end here and I had no idea if he had any plans for after this so before even thinking words were coming out of my mouth.

“Char, do you want to get drinks and snacks to go back to my place? We can watch the rerun of the Times Square ball drop, or a movie or something.”

“Yeah, that would be great. I’ll pay here, want to go warm the car up?”

“Sure,” I answered as I caught his keys.

Walking to his car I started talking to myself: What were you thinking? What if he had plans for later and you just forced him to hang out with you? He’s definitely too nice to say no. What the heck happens after midnight, does he go home?! I’ve literally never had a guy in my apartment. Not a guy I liked.

He came jogging down the street to the car and we were on our way to Target to get what we needed.

The whole car ride to my place after the store, my leg was shaking from nerves and I was failing epically to hide it. I kept crossing and uncrossing my legs, pretending to fix my shoes, etc. until Charlie glanced over and grabbed my knee.

“You okay?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine...just have to pee is all.”

“We’ll be there in like two seconds. You run up and I’ll grab our stuff.”

“Okay, yeah, thanks,” I responded. He didn’t let go of my knee though he just rested his hand there.

*************************

At first, it was awkward, having Charlie in my apartment. We didn’t know if we should sit close on the couch, I didn’t know if I should turn the light off, take my shoes off, put something comfortable on...but we eventually figured out how to be ‘normal’ around each other.

I was snuggled up to his chest and he was lightly petting my hair. I could never move from this spot and be happy forever. He tilted my head up to face him and slowly he kissed me. The butterflies were unreal and I deepened the kiss grabbing his face.

We were not watching the movie at all now and my skirt was digging into my waist. I broke away to change how I was sitting.

“Char, I have to change out of this. I’m being suffocated in this skirt,” I laughed and he nodded, giving me a little kiss before I peeled myself away.

After putting on some cute joggers and a cropped, slouchy shirt, I was back on the couch.

“Hi, y/n.”

“Hi.”

“Do you want to pick up where we left off?”

“Mmmhm. Remind me where we were?”

“I think the dinosaurs were about to walk up to the car and scare the people…”

“Ha ha Charlie,” I said, hitting his arm, “you’re so funny.”

This time I made the move and kissed him as I settled next to him. He grabbed my arms and put them around his neck. How did I get so lucky?

Things got heated pretty quickly because the next thing I knew he was hovering over me and I was laying on the couch. He was kissing my jaw, my neck, and then my collarbones as I rubbed his back through his shirt. He was dipping lower, thanks to my loose top. As his hands moved from holding himself up on the couch to my sides and sliding up underneath my shirt, my heart was racing. Charlie was kissing me slowly, but I couldn’t catch my breath.

“Charlie...Charlie, give me a second. Sorry, can I have a second?” I whispered anxiously.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry I got carried away. We can keep watching the movie,” he said and quickly sat up.

“No, no it’s ok I just…” I trailed off. Was I really going to tell him this now? “Hi Charlie, I know it’s our fourth date and we’re adults so this normally would mean sex, but I’m a virgin and I’m not ready to have sex tonight?” I guess I had to say something. I couldn’t lead him on to think something more was going to happen here tonight.

“I need to tell you something,” I said as I pulled my legs into a pretzel position on the couch.

“Okay…?” He was taking a drink, probably to get his mind off of me being a buzzkill. “You were my first kiss…”

“I was your- your what??” Charlie sputtered, choking on his drink as he swallowed.

“I’m sorry if I should’ve told you before I was just worried that you’d think I was weird and then it happened and then you asked me on another date so I figured it couldn’t have been that bad,” I was rambling and I knew it, “but I am sorry.”

Charlie was speechless, just sitting there looking at his hands. Damn it, I messed shit up.

He took a breath, “It’s okay, please don’t be sorry. I wish you would have told me I would’ve made it special!” he laughed, “I wouldn’t have kissed you for the first time in my car!” Then he swatted at my arm playfully and I whacked his hand with a pillow.

“I didn’t want to make it a big deal! I was trying to play it cool..”

“Okay, okay. So what now? Do you wanna watch the rest of Jurassic Park?”

“No. We can keep doing what we were doing,” I smirked, “I just didn’t want to hide anything anymore and... I wanted to say I’m not ready to go all the way tonight.” I definitely rushed saying that last part.

I don’t know why I was embarrassed to say that but my reaction was to cover my face with a pillow and hide on the couch. He turned the New Year’s Eve special back on.

“That’s seriously okay. We really don’t have to do anything the rest of the night, y/n.”

“No, I wanna - if you wanna, too.”

“Oh, I want to. Don’t have to ask me twice,” and with that, he was laughing and pulling me onto his lap into a hug. “Is this ok?”

I nodded and he gave me a squeeze. How did I get so lucky? I grabbed his face and gave him a peck. Then we got back into our rhythm and he was respectfully keeping his hands on my waist.

I could tell he was nervous now, so I guided him to lay down this time and I hovered over him.

“You good?” I asked.

“Mmhmm.”

It was my turn to do a bit of exploring. Charlie’s face is the cutest and I couldn’t get enough. Kissing down his nose, over both his cheeks, his chin, his jaw, and down his neck. I’m doing my thing and he pulled my shirt to have me lay on his chest. I was happy and felt like I was in heaven. Glancing at his watch, I could see that it was 11:58pm.

“Hey, want to watch some fireworks at midnight out the big window? Grab a drink.”

“C’mon, of course, I do.”

We got up, took our drinks, and I led him to the window in my room because it has a great view of the city and the hills beyond.

“Less than a minute, y/n. Are you ready?”

“Oh yeah. I wish we had like 2021 glasses or hats or something, lol.”

“I am one step ahead of you,” Charlie said as he pulled to confetti poppers out of his pocket.

“Charlie Gillespie. How the hell? When did you get these?”

“Target is a magical place.”

We heard the TV start the countdown and we joined in. Midnight hit and Charlie pulled me to his chest and kissed me harder than ever before.

He looked down at me with his warm eyes and said, “Happy New Year, babe.”

“Happy New Year, Char.”

“Ready?” On the count of three, we pulled the string releasing all the confetti and screaming Happy New Year.

“This might be cheesy to ask, but do you wanna be my girlfriend?”

“Hmm, I’ll have to think about it…” I joked, “my head is still buzzing from that kiss.”

“Oh shut the hell up and kiss me before I have to drive home.”

And with that, we were making out and backing up to my bed. My legs hit the edge and somehow Charlie smoothly laid me down and was playing with my hair.

“You know this has been a great night, I don’t want you to go.”

“I mean, I don’t have to...I won’t push you. I can even sleep on the couch.”

“Or you can sleep here…” I didn’t want to torture or tease him, but falling asleep in his arms would be amazing.

“I think we can make that work..” Charlie smiled, “oh, and you’ve got confetti in your hair.”

The first night of 2021 and it’s already the best night of the year.

#charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie #charles gillespie #jatp #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson

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unlikelyempathpruneauthor · 4 years ago

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Family Support

A/N: Okay so you know how in season 7 episode 11 Reid was at the convention talking and like no one was really interacting with him there beside that one dude. I felt really bad cus he looked really sad that prentiss and that other lady were getting attention….sooooooo what if like reader surprised him by bringing along their kids. sorry this might be bad lol, no one really requested it I just thought of it. so enjoy!

When Spencer told you he had a convention to go to with prentiss and a criminal author, you were very excited for him. Whenever he had one of these, he would get nervous but you would remind him that he was gonna do great. You knew it was very hard for him to talk in front of people, but he tried his best. You knew he did. After the conventions, he would get a little sad because no one would ask him questions or interact with him either during or after the convention.

“I don't know why no one gets me, I mean they're there for a reason right? They should get my jokes and sayings right?” he would say to you as you came to comfort him after putting your two kids to sleep and laid next to him while he rubbed your belly carrying your third kid, you weren't far along, but you recently started showing. “Well spence, they don't have an iq of 187 or even have 3 phds and 2 BA’s handsome.” you said as he smiled at your comment.

“Right you’re right, i'm never doing those again, im terrible at talking.” he groaned as he placed his pillow on his face as he mumbled a little more making you giggle at your husband.

He would almost always do that when he came back from those conventions, so this time you were going to surprise him with your kids to see their dad talk about what he does. Your kids, Franklin and Diana, knew what you and Spence did, but not the specifics, of course, but then again they were not like normal kids. They inherited their father's smarts, and some of yours too, but you knew the smarts mainly came from him.

Their brains and knowledge aren't the same like most 9 and 6 year olds. They are a replica of Spencer in so many ways, but he would always tell you they look like you.

You told Hotch you were going, and he understood completely, you happily took your kids and headed to this convention.

As you went there it was filled with lots of people. Now you understood why he was scared, but you knew he would be great. As you took your seat you sat in the middle row and sat your kids. Prentiss was quick to see you and walked over to you.

“Hey y/n, i didn't know you were gonna come.” she said as your kids spoke up. “Hi aunty emily.” “Hi kiddos.” she said as she smiled looking at them. “Well i thought we could come here, to support daddy right?” you said as your kids nodded. She looked at you knowing you were hiding something, in a way she profiled you in seconds.

“Hey don't profile me.” you said as she playfully rolled her eyes. “Come on it's me, what's wrong?” she asked as you sighed. “Okay fine fine, he said that he hates it when people come here and don't understand him and i thought why not bring people who do, and who better than those people being his family and kids and future boy or girl genius.” you said as she smiled at your love and support for spencer. Who knew years later you two would get married and have kids.

“y/n these kids are what 3 or 4? And future boy or girl genius isn't even born yet.” she said as you giggled.

“Actually Franklin's 9 and Dia is 6 and we know boy or girl genius already has lots of knowledge of this kinda stuff ” you said as she was shocked by their age. Time really was a son of a bitch when you had this job. “What? When were their bir-” she said as she got called. “Well tell me later, enjoy the show.” she told you as she walked back up to her chair. As Spencer walked out he looked very nervous, but you knew he was gonna end up doing great. He didn't notice you since you were in the middle row, which was expected. You just rubbed your small belly and whispered at the little fetus.

“Look it's daddy, Dia, he's gonna talk in a little.” Franklin whispered at his sister while she smiled looking at her dad. Then Patricia, the author spoke up, “In the end, I just write about violent crime. The real heroes are the people here beside me. Now, give a warm welcome to our next speaker, Dr. Spencer Reid of the BAU.” she said as you looked at your kids in awe while they were clapping for their dad. “Its daddy!'' Diana said as Franklin sat her on his lap for her to see him. “Hi im, uh dr. Spencer reid… sorry. Uh. Hi. I am here today to talk to you about paraphilias and their relation to violent crime.” he said as everyone just coughed and looked at him blankly.

“Does anybody know what dendrophilia is?” he asked as Franklin raised his hand and you noticed putting his hand down quickly. “Yeah whoever that was?” he said as Dia moved and let him stand. “It's a fetish for trees.” Franklin said as everyone turned over to him shocked that a 9 year old was responding to such a question. Spencer just smiled at the way his son just answered that question out of nowhere. He then looked over to you and Dia, he smiled and appreciated you doing this.

“Yes, that's right, little man.” he said as he continued on with his talk and people were more and more intrigued on what he had to say. You could say your job here was done but you and your kids stayed till it was over. You loved seeing your husband talk about the things you do on a daily basis, and seeing him be happy talking about it with people who are interested makes you even more happy. Seeing him happy made you happy.

After it was over you all walked over to him and he just embraced your two kids in a hug. “I didn't know you guys were gonna be here? Who’s idea was it?” he said in a cheerful voice as the kids shrugged. “Definitely our little brother.” Dia said as Spence looked at her in shock, you were also shocked because you didn't know she even wanted a brother. This was the first time she even mentioned it, Franklin though, he knew he wanted a sister. “No! Our little sister Dia,” Franklin said as you giggled at the way they fought with one another about what you were expecting.

“Come on, we all know it was their idea.” you said as you rubbed your belly. “Of course, huh so mommy wasn't up to this then?” he asked as your kids shook their heads. “Hmm alright i believe you. Did you guys like it?” he asked as you all waited for prentiss to be done. “Yes daddy, you looked like a superhero up there, like spiderman.” Franklin said as Dia butt in. “no definitely not spiderman franklin, he was like superman.” she said as you two laughed at their nonsense fighting, which was so funny, they were like older people in little kids bodies.

As you waited you sat at a table where they could draw and he embraced you in a hug “Thank you for bringing them, you didn't have to do that.” he said as you smiled at him. “Well you're welcome bubs, but i did have to.” you said as he pursed his lips, “Well not necessarily,” he said as you squinted, “actually i did because one we’re your family and you've been to lots of baseball games and dance recitals, it was our turn to come support you.” you said as he kissed you which made your kids giggle at the sight of you kissing. How did he get so lucky to be with an amazing woman like you. He knew you were the one since he met you and he knew even more now.

“Plus, I figured we could have a non negative talk about you complaining tonight.” you said sheepishly as he sensed your joke. “Please you like it when I complain. It's how we made that little guy.” he said as you playfully slapped him, “not in front of the kids.” you said.

“Or girl!” Franklin said as you laughed even more. “But no really i'm happy you came, made my day seeing our little man answer that question.” he said as he smiled and you smiled too seeing how happy he was made you happy. “I'm glad my love, that's what i'm here for.” you said as you looked at your happy family, your smart, and beautiful family.

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #dr spencer reid #Criminal Minds #criminal minds imagine

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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago

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care package justin morrow x reader

+++++++++

im back for a bit! i have been writing hellas so i figured id start posting again, at least for a short while. ive been very into pedro pascal and his characters right now though so heads up that might be all i post for a bit lol. i am trying to stagger these so its not all at once but i know that probably wont happen. but until it goes back to normal i hope you guys like these!

prompts:

"Can you please come and get me?"

"Can you tell they're broken?"

"Hey, let me in. I'm outside with your favorite pizza."

Song: im just a kid by simple plan

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @joeynihil @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @xyours-eternallyx

+++++++++

i sat in the bathroom by myself, holding my hand close to my body. the party outside the door was still raging and i was here freaking out. i didnt know what to do. then it hit me. i reached into my pocket with my other hand and dialed justin, surely he could help. the line rang a few times before i heard his groggy voice.

"hello?"

he asked and i sighed in relief.

"hey im sorry if i woke you up, i know its late, but im at a party and i need you to come pick me up."

i could hear his frustrated grumble, shae talking in the background.

"y/n, i thought we talked about this-"

"no no, i know, but my DD got talked into doing a keg stand and i think i might need to go to the ER."

i said and i heard him gasp lightly.

"the ER? y/n what the hell happened at that party?!"

he asked frantically and i let out a nervous laugh.

"i can explain later, but Can you please come and get me?"

he sighed.

"text me the address."

i smiled at myself in the mirror, wincing in pain as i moved.

"thank you justin, it means a lot. ill see you when you get here."

°°°°°°°°°

i sat outside on the front porch of the house and waited impatiently for justin to show up. my hand was throbbing and the ice katy had given me was almost completely melted. i bounced my leg nervously before hearing his beat up old camry come down the street. i smiled as he pulled up to the curb, standing and walking to the car. he rushed out of it as soon as the engine was off and he came to me with a scared look on his face.

"what happened? are you seriously injured?"

he asked, hands on my shoulders as he tried to look over me for any signs of damage. i let out a nervous laugh before holding my hand out, my middle and ring finger looking rather swollen and mangled.

"Can you tell they're broken?"

i asked nervously and his eyes got very wide.

"why didnt you tell me it was this bad?!"

he asked, pushing me towards the car and opening the door for me.

"i didnt think it was."

i confessed as i got in and he sighed heavily.

"just... try to put your seatbelt on."

he instructed before walking around the car and getting in beside me. he pulled away from the curb quickly and made his way to the hospital.

"how did this even happen?"

he asked, gripping the steering wheel tightly. i could almost see his knuckles go white under the street lamps as we passed them. i shrugged and looked to the road.

"well i was dared to skateboard down the handrail of the stairs..."

i started and he shot me a worried look.

"but dont worry, i told them all no."

he sighed in almost relief, realizing that he was glad i didnt do that but i still end up with broken bones.

"so, since i wouldnt do it, they dared another kid to and he was three sheets to the wind already and gladly agreed."

i said and i could tell he rolled his eyes.

"i guess i just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time though cause i was sitting on the floor in the living room with both hands planted on the ground behind me and when he fell off the skateboard it came at me full force and ran over my fingers."

i said and he groaned.

"of course that would be your luck. havent we been through something like this before?"

he asked and i laughed, nodding.

"yeah, remember that one winter on tour when vinny lost his kick drum petal in transit and the only reason they found it back was because i was unpacking the trailer and it landed on my foot."

he nodded, loosening his grip on the wheel.

"okay, yeah, i remember now. you had three broken bones and had to get stitches."

he said and i nodded.

"yeah."

he shook his head as he pulled into the parking lot of the er.

"come on, lets get you checked in."

°°°°°°°°°

a few days later when i was finally weaning off the pain medications they had given me i was coherent enough to think of a thank you for justin. after all, he did put up with my shit more than anyone else and i was glad to call him friend. i got everything ready and made my way to his place, reinforcements sitting in the passenger seat next to me. when i got to his house i knocked on the door but no answer. i just rolled my eyes, i knew he was home, so i called him.

"yeah?"

he asked. i could tell he was preoccupied and made a face as i stood outside his door.

"Hey, let me in."

i instructed and there was a pause.

"let you in?"

he asked and i shifted my weight, tucking the phone between my cheek and my shoulder.

"yeah, I'm outside with your favorite pizza."

i said and the line went dead. a second later the door was swung open and he had a very excited look on his face.

"to what do i owe the pleasure?"

he asked and i laughed, handing him the stack of two boxes so i could pick the grocery bag up.

"i wanted to thank you guys."

i said, following him into the Livingroom, waving to shae sat on the couch in her pajamas.

"you took care of me, i take care of you."

i said, handing each of them a drink that i had brought as he opened the two boxes.

"you didnt have to do that."

he said and i shrugged, popping my soda open.

"i know, but i wanted to. now dig in before it gets any colder."

i said and he laughed, cheersing our two slices against one another.

"cant argue with that."

#wattpad #x reader #justin morrow #miw #imagines #one shots #292

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hey-hey-chan · 5 years ago

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The Protagonist - Hyunjin

❀ Slice of life

❀ Warning: mentions of death & covid-19

❀ Word count: 8k

❀ When your best friend Ryujin cheats on her boyfriend who you’re also friends with, you’re stuck to pick up the pieces of their relationship. When Ryujin starts pushing you away and Hyunjin starts keeping you close, you wonder who was a better friend to you in the first place and uncover new feelings you never knew you had.

❀ A/N: i know i haven’t written in like a year?? but i suddenly had inspiration to write. Honestly, I felt the inspiration after I didn’t get picked job opportunity I really wanted (and thought I was going to get). I was put on the waitlist, but it still hurt my ego. But, I had some other good news and you can read on my blog about it, but I still wanted to write. I didn’t really have anything in mind, but I just let my words take me where it needed to be. Also, don’t get used to me writing, I won’t be writing often or at all. I’m not that into skz anymore LOL

------

Do you ever feel like you’re not the protagonist of your own story?

Yeah, that’s how I feel everyday.

Especially today.

“Ok, on the count of three, we reveal our statuses ... one... two..”

“And three!”

I tore open the letter from my dream college, Seoul University, probably giving myself a paper cut in the process.

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, I GOT IN! I got in y/n, holy shit!” I heard my friend’s words over the speaker, but I just couldn’t get the stupid envelope open.

“Fuck this.” I grabbed the scissors nearby and cut the damn thing open, revealing a thin piece of white paper.

I regret to inform you that you have been...

I felt tears well up in my eyes instantly at the words “regret” and “inform”, already knowing where the letter is taking me.

“Y/N?? What does it say?!”

I cleared my throat. “I didn’t get in...”

I cried harder, silently, when I heard her moans of agony. “No fucking way! You’re a WAY better student than I am! There’s something wrong.”

I shook my head. I was a good student, but I wasn’t the best personality. I was only in two clubs: acapella club and bagel club. Not good enough for the best university in our city.

“It’s ok. I have plenty more universities I applied to, I’ll be ok. I’m so, so happy for you though! I swear you’re gonna have so much fun!”

My stomach churned as I said those words. Did I really mean them? I didn’t feel happy in the moment.

“Ugh, I hate this... I really thought we would be roommates!”

I set the pristine piece of paper on my desk; I didn’t even want to look at it anymore.

“Don’t worry about it. This could even be a good thing! We’ll meet new people and just widen our group of friends. It’ll be awesome. Plus, I’m too weird for this clean cut college.” I joked.

That made her laugh. “You’re right, they couldn’t handle your personality. Anyways, I got to go to drama club right now, talk later? And again, I’m really sorry y/n.”

I pursed my lips. “Talk later, and don’t worry about me!” I ended the phone call and let the tears fall freely from my eyes.

I knew this would happen.

How could I compete with a chemistry major with a 4.0 GPA and the president of 2 clubs with a bombass personality? I was nothing compared to her.

I picked up the piece of paper and took one good look at it before crumpling it into a ball and throwing it. The soft thud barely made a sound which was anticlimactic. I was trying to have an angsty teen moment here??

Sometimes I felt like I was just a side character in a movie or a book. I was that girl who watched her best friend experience all these things in life and you just stand by them and cheer them on. They are the ones who have a mental breakdown and somehow end up with the love of their life at the end.

That was my best friend, Ryujin.

She was the one that every guy and girl fell for. Her charisma bounced off walls and even made me dizzy at times. And it wasn’t even like she was the “girly-girl” that we see in movies, no no no, tomboys are much trendier nowadays. She was confident around guys and wasn’t afraid to embarrass herself in front of anyone. I was insanely jealous of her sometimes which I would never admit.

She’s funny and adventurous, pretty and athletic: she is everything I ever wanted to be in a person.

She even had the hottest guy in the school as her boyfriend, Hwang Hyunjin.

I, on the other hand, was the opposite of her. I wasn’t overly awkward and uncomfortable to be around like the protagonists of some books. I wasn’t even cold and hostile like the mysterious girl in fanfiction.

No, I was just completely and utterly average.

I wasn’t “ugly” or whatever that means. You wouldn’t cringe away if you saw me, but the only guys I attract on the streets are the ones who might follow me home. I was friendly to people I met and was the queen of small talk. I was girlier than I wanted to be and try to put on makeup, but end up with botched eyebrows and nonexistent mascara-- that didn’t stop me from trying though.

I cringed at every horror movie, I hate sports, I love astrology, and the only close friends I have are girls.

Well, the only friend I truly have is Ryujin and all her friends became mine.

Any who, I was the girl that if a story was written about her, it’d be about 2 minutes long. I never had any big failures or big achievements. No family issues or tragic past. Nothing. I was a normal girl with a normal life.

And now one who wouldn’t even be going to college with her best friend who she depends on for her social life. Oh yeah, I was a burden too. Now she can’t even be fully happy because of me.

Great, just great.

I felt a buzz near the bottom of my foot. I sighed and kicked it towards me.

‘Ok i wasnt going to ask you this, but i just have to. did you know?’ -hyunjin

I squinted my eyes, re-reading the message to see if I got that correctly. What the heck is he talking about?

‘what are you talking about?’

‘are you being serious?’ -hyunjin

Ok, now this is just weird. I sat up in my bed, suddenly interested in this conversation.

‘im being serious. i have no clue what you’re talking about. care to inform me?’

I sent the text, realizing this is probably the longest conversation Hyunjin and I have had over text. We often hung out in person in groups, since he was Ryujin’s boyfriend and we did have the occasional deep conversation, but talking like this was new territory.

‘im 100% sure ryu would tell her best friend that she cheated’ -hyunjin

Wait. What did he just say?

Suddenly I was standing, pacing around the room.

‘ok, i’ve officially lost whatever ur talking about. what the hell are you saying? ryujin did not’ I typed in confidence, but realized I shouldn’t immediately attack the victim. I erased the message and called him.

He picked up almost instantly.

“What the hell did you just say?” I heard him shift around, probably in his bed.

“I said, I’m sure that Ryujin would tell you if she cheated-”

“Ok, that, stop right there. You’re saying Ryujin cheated on you?” I felt my head spin.

Ryujin can’t be a cheater. That’s impossible. And plus, she would’ve told me if something was wrong in her perfect relationship.

I heard a loud chuckle on his side. “Wow, you really don’t know do you.” I shook my head, but I realized he couldn’t see me.

“Um, I really don’t, so I would really love it if you explained.”

“What’s there to explain? She came to my house two days ago and told me she was cheating on me with Jeongin. Yang fucking Jeongin, who is, yes, a grade younger than us!”

I winced at his volume. Hyunjin was a lot of things, but he definitely wasn’t a liar. Neither was Ryujin which is why I had no idea what was going on.

“You have anything to say?” He asked. But I was in complete shock.

“Well, um... I’m gonna talk to her about this. Bye, Hyunjin.” I hung up the phone and tossed it on the side of my bed despite his muffled talking.

What the fuck is going on?

-------

“I’m asking you a simple question, did you or did you not cheat on Hyunjin?”

After Ryujin came home from drama club, I was already there waiting at her door. She gave me a weird look since we live a good 20 minute walk away from each other, but yes, this conversation was worth the exercise.

“Excuse me, what did you just say?” She asked with a sassy tone, but I had no time for this bullshit.

“Did you cheat on Hyunjin? God Ryu, just answer the question!” I felt my face turning red and I knew I was losing my temper. I had no idea why I was so upset, but I just was.

I saw her features contort, and I knew I was going to hear the truth.

“Ok, yeah, yeah I did.”

My heart dropped.

We didn’t say anything to each other for a couple of seconds. It was like we were both taunting each other, which she doesn’t have the right to do in this moment.

“Are you serious? Why?” I asked incredulously.

She didn’t say anything yet walked passed me and straight to her door.

“Hey, what the hell?”

“Y/N, I cheated on him, what else is there to say? It’s done, it happened!” I almost flinched at her tone. It was bitter and angry and it was a tone I was used to with her.

“What the fuck? Ryu, why wouldn’t you tell me? And this is breaking Hyunjin’s heart-”

“You know what? I don’t have to tell you everything about my relationship! It has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t even matter, ok? I just don’t wanna talk about it.”

I stood silently, wondering who was this person in front of me.

“Fine, I’ll leave then.”

As I walked back to my house, I couldn’t help but feel like I was stuck in the protagonist’s drama once again.

-----

It was almost 1am when I got back home. Thankfully, my parents were asleep and thought I was staying the night at Ryujin’s like I told them. I snuck in the house and collapsed on my bed. This was too much emotion for one day.

I peered down at my phone and saw the light illuminate the room.

‘So. is your world shattered like mine?’ -hyunjin

I bit my lip. Was it weird to text my best friend’s ex-boyfriend like this? Technically, we were somewhat of friends too. So I’m not breaking any rules.

‘this is fucked up. im rly sorry man, she really didn’t tell me.’ I brushed my hands through my hair and felt the sweat sticking to it. I had walked back in the spring heat, it was too much.

‘Damn, I didn’t think she would pull something like that and not even tell YOU. that’s cold.’

‘tell me about it. we were just fine earlier today, dont know whats goin on with her.’ I hesitated before typing the next part. ‘also, i know we arent the closest and ik im also ryu’s friend, but im here for you bro. this is a messed up situation’

‘Thanks, that means a lot... most of my friends are making fun of me for getting cheated on... with a JUNIOR. disgusting.’

I snorted. ‘technically, if ryujin didn’t skip a grade, she’d be a junior too.’

‘y/n, pls don’t ruin this moment’

‘fine, fine, disgusting, she cheated on u with a junior. plus ur friends are felix and jisung who are also complete insensitive dickheads sometimes’

‘Thank you.’

I laughed. Hyunjin was always an interesting guy to hang out with. Sure we never texted or talked much, but he was always a joy to have around. He was quiet in school, but he was animated around his friends. And of course, an awesome boyfriend to Ryujin.

Seeing them together made me more aware of my singleness. He would open doors for her, give her his jacket when she was cold, pay for her meals, he even knew how to braid hair, like what the fuck? He was perfect.

And then she cheated on him.

And didn’t even tell me.

I rubbed my forehead. I was always a fixer. I fixed other people’s problems, which made me quite involved in their issues even if I shouldn’t be.

‘but seriously though, im rly sorry this happened to you...’

‘yeah ... a year down the drain. and plus, i got accepted to Seoul University with her today.’ My heart sank, even when I knew it shouldn’t.

Hyunjin was a smart guy, maybe a little too studious for his own good. He had lots of fun in high school, but made sure to go home early to events and not drink if he had a test the next day. He spent hours at the library at times and read in his free time, like me. Ryujin always hated it and thought we were too similar at times. Which is untrue because Hyunjin was way cooler than me.

‘If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t get accepted’

‘That actually did not make me feel better and made me even sadder because what the fuck?? you’re an amazing student!’

That made me smile of course, the valedictorian was complimenting my intellect.

‘aha thanks, i’ll probably end up going to incheon uni which isn’t too far from here so i’ll be ok’

‘That’s good, maybe i should consider going since half the senior class is going to seoul lol’

I scoffed. “hyunjin, don’t give up your dream uni just because ryujin will be there. you probably wont see her as often as u think’

‘If I decided not to go there, it won’t be because of Ryujin. But seriously, I rarely try anything new and i feel like i’m confined to a small group of people. At least at Incheon, I’ll know less people.”

I sighed loudly. Oh Hyunjin, it must suck to get a mental breakdown right before going to college. It happens to the best of us though.

‘well ok, where ever you go, i’ll know you’ll thrive!!’

‘:) thanks y/n. also, ik we dont talk much, but i really do appreciate you.’

Well, that warmed my heart... and my cheeks.

The fact that I was texting my friend’s ex boyfriend snapped me back into reality. And the fact that she cheated on him.

I gulped.

‘aw thanks hyunjin, i appreciate you too. Now get some sleep! it’s almost 2am’

I didn’t get a response back, and I hoped he fell asleep. I changed into my pajamas and did my nightly routine and fell asleep to thoughts of my friend’s ex-boyfriend.

------

I woke up to several buzzes that tickled my side. I grunted and threw the blanket off of me. I found my phone that was flung somewhere and picked it up. I turned off the notifications to stop the constant moving.

“It’s too freaking early for this.” I moaned.

I rubbed my eyes and peered down at the message.

‘hey im sorrrryyy for lashing out yesterday. i just feel guilty about the whole thing and i was afraid to tell you... also i think im in love with jeongin’ -ryujin

My eyes naturally widened at this confession.

Love? Ryujin dated Hyunjin for a whole year! How could she fall in love with Jeongin so easily??

‘excuse me?? what the fuck did you just say cuz i think u just said u LOVE jeongin??’

‘stfu. just hear me out, he’s a great guy and he’s just... normal’ -ryujin

Ok, time to call this bitch.

“Define normal?” I heard her sigh and adjust in her bed. She’s always been an early riser.

“Just, when I was dating Hyunjin, it felt like it had to be this perfect relationship. We were all friends before and it just seemed right that we dated. He was super nice and perfect and not to mention, hot, but it just felt superficial. I don’t know.”

Well this was new. Ryujin never told me much about the problems in their relationship and I thought everything was going well. Well, until now.

“I mean, I get that, you shouldn’t have to date anyone you don’t like. But, you should’ve broken up with him before!”

“You think I don’t know that? I made a mistake, ok? Can you just get off my back about it?”

There’s that temper again.

“Are you serious? You’re the one who texted ME in the morning.”

“I’m just, whatever.” She paused in between her words. “You just wouldn’t understand ‘cause you’ve never been in a relationship! I just can’t describe it, ok?” And on that note, I just hung up the phone. I was in no mood to play these games with her emotional roller coasters.

I bit my lip, knowing she would probably call me more times for hanging up on her, but I wasn’t in the mood. I was caught in between two of my friends, and I knew who was in the right and who was treating me better.

I saw my phone light up a few more times, which made me curious as to what she was sending me.

‘Hey, do you wanna have breakfast with me this morning?’ -hyunjin

I raised a brow. This was not the message I was expecting.

‘only if you’re paying’

‘deal’

-----

Soft r&b played from the speakers as I sipped from my small cup of apple juice, yes, I still drink apple juice.

“So, how are you feeling?” I finally asked the boy.

He was wearing a black tshirt and jeans and his hair was messier than usual. I could tell he wasn’t getting lots of sleep.

“As good as I can be.” He shuffled around in his chair like he had more to say. “Just, it’s still crazy to me. Getting cheated on... it’s a whole new feeling.”

I nodded, but I couldn’t relate to it.

“Yeah...” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say or how to cheer him up.

We locked eyes suddenly and I grew shy. Hyunjin was always hot in my eyes, even though I pretended he wasn’t, for my friend’s sake. And for mine.

“What did she say when you talked to her?”

I laughed. “She totally flipped on me and told me to leave. I have no idea what’s going on with her right now. She’s lashing out for no reason.” I confessed.

“Yeah, she’s acting more temperamental lately. She always had a temper but this time... this time it’s out of control.”

I nodded, understanding what he was talking about. Ryujin was a feisty girl with lots of emotions. I respect her for being in tune with her emotions, but sometimes her actions go too far. Most guys thought it was hot though.

“Anyways, I don’t want to talk about her anymore. What about you? Any relationship problems?”

I forced a small smile. “Nope, all the guys that were ‘into me’ were trying to use me to get to her.”

Hyunjin took a bite out of his sandwich and shook his head. “Stone cold Slytherin.” I laughed at that one.

“Stone cold Slytherin indeed.”

“You know, Ryu has never watched any of the Harry Potter movies?? Which is crazy because I swear the first time we talked to each other it was about what Hogwarts house we would be in.”

I nodded slowly. “Yes, yes I do know that my best friend has never watched the movies. And it pains me everyday.” He rolled his eyes at my teasing tone. “Also, I think that’s because you guys met in Mrs. Park’s English class which I also happened to be in. Remember, we all were friends first?”

I thought back to those days, those simpler times. Hyunjin and Ryujin only dated for a year, but they’d known each other since our first year of high school. We were all somewhat of friends, more like acquaintances. But one day, their friendship just went to the next level.

Hyunjin nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, you’re right. Ryujin isn’t as nerdy as you.” I scoffed, knowing that was not true. I was the dumbest in the friend group.

“Alright, whatever you say.” I was out of witty banter.

We called for the check and walked slowly to his car. For a moment, we just seemed like two friends. Two kids from school who were eating breakfast together.

But we weren’t really. I was his ex-girlfriend’s best friend. And he was the guy my best friend cheated on.

And we were both losing a person who was ignoring us.

“This is me. See you sometime?” His expression was hard to read and I didn’t know if he was saying this just to be kind or if he actually meant it. Either way, I didn’t care.

“Sure. See you.” I waved at him awkwardly and he gave me a small wave back.

-------

A few weeks went by and soon, Ryujin and I were back to normal. I still texted Hyunjin quite often, but Ryujin didn’t know that. It’s not like I was lying to her, but I didn’t feel like she needed to know. It’s not like we were going behind her back and doing anything. He just needed a friend, and so did I.

The whole world was on lockdown and school got shut down early. Everyone was locked in their homes and told to keep a distance from each other in public. My electricity bill was off the charts and I was living off of Netflix for entertainment. Sometimes Ryujin came over, but she was the only one I really saw. She was an only child, so I pitied her.

“Ok, this one or this one?” She held up two outfits that were completely different. One was a dark green shirt that tied in the front and sparkly paired with black jeans that flared slightly at the bottom. The other was a pink blouse with flowers paired with a blue denim skirt.

I looked up from my phone and sat up on the ground.

“That dark green one, it compliments your skin tone and the jeans are cute.” She nodded and tossed the other on her bed.

“Great, Jeongin will love this.”

“Are you sure he understands fashion? He’s like 12.” I felt a pillow hit me face in an instant, but the comment was worth it. The age jokes never got old.

“Shut up! He’s the same age as me, only a grade younger. You know because I skipped a grade.” She bragged. I rolled my eyes and went back to playing on my phone.

“Okay~ Whatever you say. I’m just saying, your boobies hanging out might confuse him-”

She gave me a glare to shut me up from finishing. I shrugged and looked down at my phone.

“Should you even be hanging out with him? We aren’t supposed to hang out with people during this time.”

Ryujin snorted. “It’s my boyfriend, am I supposed to ignore him? I’d rather die.” I rolled my eyes are her insensitive statement. “Plus, aren’t we hanging out right now? You’re not my family.” Ouch, I’d always considered Ryujin family, but I guess she didn’t feel the same.

“That’s different. We’re best friends and I consider you my sister, since you don’t have one.” I spat. She narrowed her eyes at me and I saw the wheels turning in her head to clap back.

“Whatever, these rules are impossible."

I stayed quiet for a little bit, but I had so much to say.

“What? If you have something to say, spit it out.” Wow, was her aggressive tone always this annoying?

I threw up my hands in aggravation. “Fine, I just think you’re moving on too fast from Hyunjin. You just broke up with him-”

“I cheated on him.”

“Ok, you cheated on him. Shouldn’t you wait a little longer to get into a relationship? It’s ... It’s sort of cruel.”

She narrowed her eyes at me but her eyes softened.

“Look, what happened happened already. He knows I have feelings for someone else. I have to live for myself, ok? I’ll see you later.”

She left the room and I knew that was my queue to leave her house.

I picked up my phone and checked my messages before I left. I only had one, how popular of me.

‘what are you doing right now?’ -hyunjin

I furrowed my brows. His timing was impeccable.

‘um... nothing now. why?’

‘can you meet up rn?’

My eyebrows rose in surprise. Mr. Rule Follower wants to break the rules of quarantine? Interesting.

‘... we aren’t supposed to hang out unnecessarily right now.’ I reminded him, just in case he forgot.

I stood from Ryujin’s floor and started to look for my car keys. The perks of being the youngest sibling is that I was given my older brother’s car when he went off to college. Sadly, he’s back, but we share the car.

‘my mom is sick. shes getting tested today’

I froze.

You never expect those words to come out of your friend’s mouth.

‘where r u?’

------

I got in my car and booked it. It’s like I was moving faster than I could think.

Hyunjin’s parents were divorced and he lived with his father, so I knew he was safe to be around. But still, he saw his mom during the summers and occasionally throughout the year. They were close.

I drove up to his house and saw him sitting there with his head buried in his arms.

“Shit.”

I parked on the side of the road and ran out as soon as I could. He jolted up when he heard the slam of my car.

“y/n-”

I grabbed him and immediately pulled him into a hug. I wasn’t sure why I did it, but it felt right.

“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok.” I said before I could think. I wasn’t sure she was going to be ok, or if he was going to be ok, but he didn’t need to know that.

I felt him shake as tears he sobbed into my shoulder.

“She’s so old, y/n. I’m so scared. I hope she doesn’t have it. I fucking hope so bad.” I squeezed him tighter. Tears fell slowly from my eyes as I felt his pain.

“I’m sorry. We’ll be ok. It’ll be ok.” I rubbed his back soothingly and sat on the steps with him when he calmed down.

“I’m sorry for being such an emotional mess right now, I hope you weren’t anywhere important when I texted you. Honestly, I called Ryujin first but she didn’t pick up.” He mumbled the last part.

I frowned, but realized why she didn’t pick up.

“You look guilty, why?”

I thought about lying to him, but what was the use?

“I was actually at her house when you texted me... she was getting ready to go on a date with Jeongin.” I admit.

I saw his face contort and he let out a few strangled cries. I pulled him closer to me and felt his head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I told her not to go.”

“Why? We broke up already. She made her choice.”

He took a small glance at him. His face was red and puffy; his sleep schedule was also not getting better. I knew that because we always texted at 1am.

“I know my opinion doesn’t matter, but I think she made the wrong one.”

He turned to face me and we locked eyes.

Usually with other guys, I’m skittish and sometimes awkward. I wanted to get away from them as soon as I could. But with Hyunjin, I felt at peace. I felt comfortable with him, safe even.

The boy gave me a small smile and patted me on the back. He rested his head on my shoulder again.

“Your opinion always matters, and thank you. For everything.”

“It’s not a problem.” I pet his head like I’ve seen in movies. I don’t think I’ve ever comforted a guy besides my brother. And my brother did not like to get his hair pet.

I guess Hyunjin didn’t either when he shot up. I gave him a startled look.

“What-”

“It is a problem. Why do you run to everyone who needs help, y/n?”

I froze in my spot, not knowing what to say.

“Um, I don’t know. I guess I’m just good at helping people. I like comforting people. I like making people happy.” I tried to cheer him up. I did not want him to feel like he was a burden.

Hyunjin moved out of my grasp and faced me.

“Doesn’t it get tiring though? I’ve never seen you get sad about something. And you got rejected from your dream college that we’ve been talking about for years. Still, nothing.”

I laughed and looked away. This conversation was getting too focused on me and I wanted to shift the topic immediately.

“Um, well of course I get sad. It’s just I deal with my emotions better when I’m alone. I don’t mind people seeing me sad I just want alone time when I’m upset.” That was a good answer.

He wasn’t buying it though.

A calming silence washed over us for a short moment. He kicked a small rock to the side and it trickled down the steps.

“Why do I feel like that’s a cop out answer?”

I was about to give him a snarky response, but I saw the pain in his eyes. He wanted to be distracted from his pain and wanted to focus on me.

“Do you ever feel like you’re just a side character of someone else’s story?” I blurt out. Immediately, I felt like I shared too much about myself, but I couldn’t take it back.

His silence made me anxious. So anxious.

I started to shake my leg, a nervous habit I had. Suddenly, he placed a gentle hand on my leg to stop it from shaking.

“Bad habit. Also, I guess I haven’t before. Because we are actually the protagonists of our own story. Even you.” He peered deeply into my eyes to get his point across. I gave him a weak smile because I knew he wanted to cheer me up. But I didn’t need cheering up, I accepted that I wasn’t protagonist material. I accepted it a long time ago.

But he didn’t need to know that.

“You’re right. I’m being silly.”

“Oh c’mon, y/n. You’re not being silly. You’re an amazing person. Total main character material!” I raised my brow but said nothing. He knocked gently on my head. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

So many things were going through my head. Including the fact that if I were main character material, I wouldn’t be sitting here with him right now. I’d be on some date with a cute guy. And then the whole situation would blow up in my face. And I would learn from it. And everyone would forgive me except maybe one or two people, but I would be ok with that because I learned from my mistakes and am a better person.

But that’s not me. I don’t make mistakes. I pick up the pieces of those who make mistakes. I fix them. I heal them. I’m the one who makes the main character realize they’re a shitty person.

“Too many things, Hyunjin. Too many things.” I whispered.

We said nothing for a while until he wrapped his arms around me.

“I hope your mom is ok.” I quietly said as I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I hope so too. And I hope you realize your worth one day.”

------

‘she’s not sick!! the tests came back negative!! WOOO! party at my house... ok virutal party lol’ -hyunjin

I cheered alone in my room. The test results came back pretty quickly yet it seemed like forever ago when Hyunjin cried in my arms. And we ended up spending the whole day together after I vented my feelings to him. But that’s besides the point.

‘that’s awesome bro!!!! im so happy !!!!!!’

‘:) Thanks for being the best friend i have right now lol’ -hyunjin

I paused at the words ‘best friend’. I knew he didn’t mean best friend, but it still made me smile.

Honestly, it was pretty cool being friends with Hyunjin and I wished that we were closer friends sooner. I guess I didn’t want to get too close in case him and Ryujin broke up. I didn’t know I’d be comforting him and not her.

‘ofc. u deserve happiness hyunjin’

He didn’t respond for a couple of minutes which concerned me. He would usually tell me if he was busy, but he just left suddenly.

I tried not to think much about it so I set my phone on my table. I kept peering down at my phone every few minutes, but still nothing.

I pulled out a good book and started to read a few pages.

“y/n! I think your friend is here.”

I furrowed my brows and closed my book with a pink bookmark keeping my page.

“Friend? Didn’t know Ryujin was coming over.” I whispered. “Ok dad, I’ll be there!” I threw off blanket and opened the door. I shuffled to the front door and opened it. I ignored my dad’s weird looks as he made his way back to his room.

Once I opened the door, I saw not Ryujin, but Hyunjin.

His face was bright and I couldn’t help but smile back. His happiness was contagious, which is why he was so well-liked.

He finally fixed his hair that was getting long due to the quarantine, but it suit him. He wore gray shorts with a sweater on top.

I was suddenly aware of the gray shorts I had on.

“Hey, we’re matching.” I said lamely. He laughed with his eye smile which was his best look. “What are you doing here?”

“Wow, I’m hurt, no hello Hyunjin, I hear you come bearing good news.”

I laughed. “You texted me said good news.”

“I know, but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out right now...?” I crossed my arms and leaned against the door.

“Hyunjin, we aren’t supposed-”

“I know, I know, but I’m bored! I’m an only child too you know and I only live with my dad who hasn’t gone anywhere. And neither have I unless to see you. I know you follow the rules, so you’ve probably only seen Ryujin besides your immediate family.”

I hesitated, wondering if it was the right thing to do. My heart was saying yes, but my brain wasn’t sure.

“Just go, honey. Just be safe.” My dad’s voice boomed. I looked back and saw him giving a thumbs up.

“Really dad?” He nodded.

“Yes, but sure not to come in contact with any other people.”

I held my pinky up, and I noticed Hyunjin was holding his up too.

“Promise.”

------

The roads were so empty.

“You make me! Feel like I’m living a, TEENAGE DREAM!”

Hyunjin and I bumped to Katy Perry bops as we drove through a deserted city.

“Don’t ever look back! Don’t ever look back~”

“My heart stops!! When you look at me!” I sang.

“Just one touch, now baby I believe~” He playfully poked me.

“This! Is! Real! So take a chance and don’t ever look back~” I finished.

He turned down the volume as we reached our destination.

An empty parking lot.

“Aw, how romantic.” I joked.

“Sorry, not much places were open.” He gave me a small smile as he parked the car and rolled down the windows. We didn’t get out in case other people were around.

I unbuckled my seat belt and turned to him. He was already staring at me.

“I’m really, really happy about your mom,” I said finally. He smiled, I had never seen him this happy for almost a month now, ever since Ryujin cheated on him.

“Thank you. Also, thank you for being there when I needed you.”

I thought back to a few days ago when he was sobbing in my arms. I felt my heart shatter for him. I loved his mom too, she was always around when we were at school and was just a ball of light.

“It’s no problem.”

"Right, because you’re ‘a side character’.” He used quotation marks with his fingers to get the point across.

I rolled my eyes and pushed him. “Stop! It’s true though.”

He looked at me again, his eyes saying “explain”.

“Stop giving me that look. It’s completely obvious.”

“Tell me again, how is this obvious? Because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but all of your thoughts are yours. You see things from YOUR eyes, your point of view, and whatever. Your life is your life; no one else is the main character y/n.”

I hated when he said my name so much. It reminded me too much of myself. I always made sure to use people’s names in sentences to show that I knew their name and to make them feel special. I knew what he was trying to do. I hated that it was working.

“Look, if I was the main character of my own story, then why would my only purpose right now to be helping yours and Ryujin’s?”

He flinched at my words.

“What?”

I sighed, feeling uncomfortable again when the topic was focused on me.

“You know what I mean. For months now, it feels like all I do is to help Ryujin’s character development. And maybe even yours. She’s the one who makes shitty decisions, I’m the one who fixes them for her. She says stupid things, and I’m the one who makes her apologize. She even gets accepted into Seoul University, leaving me behind. I just feel like everyone is accelerating and changing while I’m static! I’m the same as I was in freshman year, sophomore, junior and now senior. I’m the same person!”

Hyunjin stayed silent while I ranted. My chest rose and fell from my heavy breathing and my cheeks were dusted with pink.

“Also, if I wasn’t a side character, would I be here, hanging out with you, to help you get over my best friend cheating on you?”

He had no response for my words. And I knew he wouldn’t because he knew I was right. I was the push to get them back together. I was probably going to get a text or a call sometime by Ryujin while she begs for them to get back together. Or to ask me to fix this whole situation.

I was right.

“You really think I ask you to hang out so much because I want your help to get over Ryujin?”

His accusing tone shocked me, and it made me nervous.

I tried not to focus on the police cars passing by and calmed my nerves.

“Um... yeah, why...”

He wasn’t looking at me initially, like he was focusing on something outside of the car.

“Y/N, I ask you to hang out so much because I like hanging out with you.” He confessed.

At my lack of words, he kept going and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Just... this is hard to say... but I-I feel like I made a mistake dating Ryujin.” He blurted. This definitely got my attention.

“What??”

“Please let me finish.” The desperation in his eyes lulled me to listen.

“We were a good couple at first, but the chemistry wasn’t there. We never clicked. We didn’t talk about the same things and we could never have a deep conversation. Everything we talked about was so surface level or about her problems. She was fun to be with and a great girl while it lasted, but it wasn’t like when we hung out, even when I was still dating Ryu, we got along better.

We could talk about conspiracy theories and weird things in history like it was normal! You were always the first one I talked to when I read a new book or if I learned a cool fact. I could never do that with her and I hate that I just realized it after we broke up. And when I started to hang out with you.

It was always you all long, y/n. It was always you.”

What on earth was going on right now? This isn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to fix this relationship-

“Ok, I see you’re kind of freaking out. And it’s freaking me out, please say something.”

My leg wasn’t even shaking, that’s how numb I was at this conversation.

“I-” my voice trailed off, like I couldn’t get the words out.

“I have a lot to think about. I’m sorry, I can’t... I-” Tears filled my eyes. I didn’t know what was going on. This stuff never happened to me. Am I supposed to give an answer right away? That’s impossible! I need to talk to Ryujin first and maybe my brother and then just ignore the whole situation.

“It’s fine, take as long as you need.”

The drive back was silent, contrary to what it was before. I regret not taking my own car. I regret even hanging out with him in the first place.

As soon as we got to my house, I got out.

“Thanks for the ride.” I mumbled, because I still had manners.

“Hey y/n.”

I paused and turned around, mortified of what he was to say next.

“I meant everything I said when I said it has always been you. I think.. I think if you think about our memories together, you’ll see that.

I just.. I just needed you to know that.”

I nodded slowly, unsure of what to say.

Then he was gone.

-------

My first reaction was to eat my pain away, but I couldn’t even finish my banana.

Ryujin would never forgive me for dating her ex boyfriend right? That’s girl code 101. Even if she did cheat on him. Or does that cancel out if she cheated?

I downed a cup of water in anger.

“Woah, slow down there, you don’t want to drown yourself.” I slammed the cup down and glared at my older brother.

“Chan, please. I’m not in the mood right now.” I tried stomping away from him, but he kept talking. Like always.

“Uh oh, is it because of your boy? I can beat him up if you want.” I felt my cheeks turn red.

“No! Don’t beat him up. And he’s not my boy. He’s Ryujin’s.” I muttered.

“Wooo what? That’s a plot twist! Dad said he was completely smitten with you though. And Dad’s usually never wrong about boys and their feelings. He’s a therapist you know-”

“I know who my father is, thank you very much! And, ugh, God, I can’t even.” I couldn’t even make it to my room before I collapsed on the floor.

In the blink of an eye, Chan was sitting next to me. “Woah there, okay, this is some teenage angst I don’t know how to deal with anymore.”

Anger rushed through my body at his words. And I’m not sure why.

“Shut up! I don’t have teen angst! I don’t have any problems, ok? Just Ryujin cheated on this guy. And now I don’t know what to do!”

Chan was silent for a moment, unusual for a person like him.

“What? What do you mean what do you do?”

“I mean, how do I fix it?”

Chan laughed. “Fix what?”

“Fix their problems, are you not understanding what is going on here?”

Chan stood up, then picked me up. I would usually struggle but he plopped my on the couch, so I was ok with him... for now.

“Y/n, it isn’t your job to fix other people’s problems. How about you focus on your own right now?”

I peered down at my hands, embarrass to tell him what was going on in my life. I felt like such a trader. I helped my friend her whole life and suddenly, I was catching feels for her ex-boyfriend.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I got cut off my a buzz in my pocket. Then I got like 10 more. I pulled my phone out and saw the texts from Ryujin.

‘i think i made a mistake’

‘i dont like jeongin that much anymore’

‘hes not a gentleman like hyunjin!! he doesnt even pull out my chair when i sit or open doors for me. plus jeongin is lowkey childish and he is always pulling pranks on me!’

‘tell me what 2 do?? how do i fix this?!!??!!?’

‘also my parents are fighting again and it’s sooooo irritating !!!!’

‘sos 911 aaahhhh’

“Who is it? What do they say?” Chan asked curiously. I shoved him away from reading my phone.

“They’re from Ryujin. She’s already regretting dating Jeongin. The guy she cheated with Hyunjin on.” I wasn’t sure the sentence made sense, but Chan would understand.

Chan’s eyes widened. “Damn, dick move.” I gritted my teeth.

“And now, she misses Hyunjin. She says Jeongin doesn’t compare to Hyunjin who is nice and a gentleman. And her parents are fighting again. I got to go help.” I stood up to grab my keys, but Chan stopped me.

“Tell me why you were upset earlier.”

His stern voice shook me.

“Y/n, tell me.”

Suddenly, my tears were unable to hide and fell freely onto my cheeks. Chan’s face didn’t soften, but he let go of my arm.

“Tell-”

“Fine! Hyunjin told me he liked me. And that he regretted ever dating Ryujin.”

I fell down on the couch while Chan held me close. He pet my head, like I did to Hyunjin earlier. I guess that was a good comforting tactic.

“And now, Ryujin wants him back. What am I supposed to do?” I whispered.

“Do you like him back?”

I paused.

Did I like him back? I wasn’t sure...

Chan patted my back and stood. “I’m gonna make us some lunch, sit here and think about it. And don’t you dare think about responding to those texts.”

Hwang Hyunjin.

We’ve been in school together since we were kids. We saw each other grow up. We were never close, but we wouldn’t be awkward if we were paired together in a project.

He was always nice to me. He would remember my name contrary to all the boys in our grade. I faded into the background, especially when I became friends with Ryujin in the sixth grade.

We were in acapella together and we were always in the same friend groups, especially when Ryujin and Hyunjin got closer.

Everyone would yell and shout at us if we started talking about a book we just read or conspiracy theory we saw online. Or when we were both contemplating being vegan when we saw a deer get hit by a truck.

He was the one who encouraged me to wear makeup even if Ryujin told me I was shit at it. He was the one who told me I could join acapella even if I was too shy to be on stage, because he was too. He was the one who dressed up as Harry Potter characters with me when no one else wanted to. He was the one I went to when I wanted to talk about the things I loved most.

He was the one... He was the one all along.

“Oh my god. It’s always been Hyunjin. Oh my god.”

Chan set down a crappy sandwich in front of me, but I was on a mission.

“You figure it out?”

“Yes, yes I did! But what do I tell Ryujin?”

Chan scoffed. “What do you tell Ryujin? She’s the one who cheated on him. And she’s always been a crappy friend to you.” I frowned. Ryujin wasn’t the best friend, but she was my best friend...

“If she’s truly your best friend, she’ll forgive you for this. So go, go get your manz.” I cringed at his language. He was not as young as he thought.

Then, I realized something.

I looked at Chan who was just sitting on the couch, cheering me on.

“Oh my god, you’re a side character in my story.”

The made him pause before he took a bit. “Uh, ok? Aren’t we all each other’s side characters? The protag will always be ourselves, dork. Now go!”

I ran out the door and checked my phone. Those can be dealt with later. Or right now. I’m not sure. Maybe at the same time.

I jumped in my car and called Ryujin and put her on speaker.

“Hello? Y/n?? Where have you been, I texted you like 20 minutes ago! I said SOS!”

��Am I your best friend?”

“W-what? Where is this coming from? Yes, of course you are-”

“Then you’ll forgive me for anything right?”

She paused.

“Maybe. I’m not sure, you’ve never really done anything wrong.”

I gulped. You can’t back down now.

“Is everything ok, y/n?”

“I have something to tell you. And you’re going to hate me for it.”

“What?”

There was silence.

“What, y/n, seriously-”

“I have feelings for Hyunjin!” I shouted.

Dead silence. I could hear the few cars driving in my neighborhood and kids laughing outside. The silence was terrifying.

“You what?”

“I have feelings for Hyunjin. Your ex-boyfriend.”

I heard shuffling on the other side.

“Y-you can’t. He’s my ex-boyfriend. That’s breaking girl code, and I am not over him. What the hell, y/n?”

I felt tears fall from my eyes. This is not how I wanted this to go. But this is what I expected.

“I’m sorry. But my whole life, I have been living for you. Ever since I met you. And this time, I have to do things for myself. I’m sorry but I- I want to be selfish and I want to make mistakes that you’re gonna have to decide if you forgive me for.

I want to be the main character of my story right now.”

“Y/n, wait-”

I hung up the phone. I couldn’t let her get in the way of me living for me. Even if it was selfish and bitchy. I need to make mistakes to grow. And I haven’t made many ground breaking mistakes in the past, but this one feels pretty good.

I parked outside of Hyunjin’s house and ran up the steps.

Before I could knock on my door, it opened revealing a disheveled Hyunjin.

“You came.”

I was shocked at his sudden appearance, but nodded.

“I did, um, how did you get to the door so quickly?”

“I was waiting.” A cute blush danced across his face.

How have I not seen him before? For how I truly feel about him?

For a minute, we didn’t know what to say.

“I-”

We laughed.

“You first,” he said.

I cleared my throat.

“Hyunjin, um, I’m not very good at speeches to declare my feelings. Most likely because I’ve suppressed them over the years and haven’t shown them to anybody.

I’m dumb and stupid and now I’m selfish because I don’t care what anyone thinks right now because I realized that I am falling in love with you.”

His eyes grew to the size of his hand at my words.

“What?”

I laughed nervously.

“Um, I was .. I was talking to my brother. And I just realized that every moment in my life that I was insecure or unsure of something, you helped me through it. And when I just wanted to talk about something nerdy like a book or a poem that made me cry, I wanted to talk to you.

It really has been you all along.” I whispered the last sentence, but I knew he heard it.

He took my hands and wrapped them around his waist.

“I’m falling in love with you too. I think I always have been a little, which sounds fucking up since I dated Ryujin. But I think we both knew we weren’t right for each other.”

I nodded, feeling safe in his embrace.

Then, I felt him hold my face and bent down to kiss me. His lips were soft and it felt like he was hesitant. Before I lost the courage, I pulled him closer. I could feel his smile across my lips.

He made my heart flutter like I was reading a cute romance novel.

Except I was in the romance novel now.

And I was the protagonist.

164 notes · View notes

you-did-well-moon · 4 years ago

Text

The Warmth Provided (1)

Type: fluff, angst, crack, college au, friends to lovers au

Word Count: 7,784

A/N: This was obviously just supposed to be a little imagine not more than 5k words, but it turned out to be three times as big. I really need to control myself as a writer from now on, and if you request anything from me don't expect it to be as big as this lol. This simply happened because I got the inspiration for it. Also im sorry but y/n real booboo the fool with this one. With that please enjoy and don't be afraid to talk to me.

TW: mentions of mental illness, mentions of infidelity, awkward situations, toxicity from Sungjin, footsie

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3

You groaned whining at Sungjin and tugging at the very warm looking hoodie he wore. He gave an exasperated sigh not daring to even look at you knowing he would give in to your stupid puppy eyes. He put his face in his hands letting out a grunt that could only mean he was giving in to your temptations. You persisted, now putting both hands on his hoodie clad arm and leaning your head on his shoulder. You really could be evil sometimes.

“Y/n please-”

“Come on Sungjinie i’ll give it back by the end of class”

“You said the same thing last time, and you ran out of class WITH my hoodie peaches”

“It was buy one taco get another one free day at the cafeteria…”

You innocently smiled at him as he whipped his head to look at you with furrowed eyebrows and his facial features scrunched up. “Free tacos are on fridays. It was monday” he scoffed, shaking his head as if not being able to believe the audacity you had asking for his hoodie. You slowly blinked your eyes at him. “Sungjin I don’t even remember what month it is, and you want me to know what day it is! Am i a joke to you? You know what, don’t answer that asshole”

You sucked in air through your teeth and leaned back in your seat not being able to believe you and one of your best friends were arguing right before class was going to start because he wouldn’t give you his dumb hoodie. You had forgotten your own because you had spent around half an hour trying to pick what cereal you wanted to eat, and by the time you put the last darn Cheerio in your mouth you had five minutes to run to the opposite side of campus.

You really didn’t get why the human resources building was on the opposite side of campus from your apartment. It was only a matter of time before you actually woke up in time for the class. It didn’t matter because upon arrival to your seat in one of the middle rows in between Sungjin and Dowoon, you found out the professor was late to his own class. Probably still trying to convince his wife to stay with him. Poor man really couldn’t catch a break with that witch.

Mornings were always cold, and the building was also freezing. That brought you here, begging your best friend to let you borrow his hoodie which had cheese stains around the edges of the sleeves and smelled like ramen.

You were desperate.

You grimaced, turning your head to look at the sleeping Dowoon. There was no way you were waking him up to ask for his hoodie. Last time you did that he swung at you with his backpack -which had at least five books the size of your arm in it. Sungjin banned him from playing games for a month as punishment, but it didn’t stop the pain you felt when doing literally any kind of movement. From that moment onwards, you swore never to even look at Dowoon when he was sleeping. You liked your ribs just how they were.

In tact, and not broken.

You shivered, hugging yourself and grimacing at the thousands of goosebumps littering the bare skin of your arms. The feeling from the cold metal of the chair through your thin shirt making you all the more uncomfortable.

You inhaled sharply as you shifted and cold air blew against the exposed parts of your body. “Sungjin please, i’ll make it up to you just please give me your hoodie” you pleaded exposing yourself more to the cold by taking your hands from your body and bringing them together in a begging motion.

Sungjin looked at your shaking figure, worry in his eyes upon noticing your lips turning a paler color than the normal rosy tint they usually had. He threw his head back before giving you a sharp look and smacking his lips.

“Last time you wore my hoodie, you almost got me in trouble, peaches. Everyone thought-” he cut off not being able to make eye contact with you. Your head tilted and you pursed your lips blankly staring at your best friend. You repeated the unfinished thought pushing him to continue while he shook his head pinching the bridge of his nose.

He didn’t even look at you, his tone on the borderline of hopelessness and defeat when he asked you “Y/n, do you know what it means when a person wears someone else’s hoodie or jacket?”

You looked around af if you could find the answer in the tired faces of the students surrounding you before looking back at his hunched over figure and slowly blinking before adamantly answering, “They’re cold”

At your answer, the sleeping figure of Dowoon slightly shifted as he snorted muttering something about how dumb you were before moving in search of a more comfortable sleeping position. You were just about to raise your hand to retaliate with a slap to his back, but Sungjin caught your attention by belting out a disbelieving laugh now looking at you with wide eyes and an unamused smile.

“They thought we were dating, as in romantically involved, as in an intimate relationship, as in doing more than ki-” Sungjin was now rambling voice getting higher with each word before you cut him off with a light hit to his arm feeling your body grow hot in embarrassment.

“I-I know what dating is Sungjin” You hissed hands clenching around the arms of your chair and feeling your chest cave in as you gasped laughing it off awkwardly. “Come on Sungjin, let’s act like the adults that we are. We know we aren’t dating, and since when have you cared about what people think?” you searched his face looking for the answer in the hesitant shadows of his face.

“I don't,” he answered bitterly.

“Then what’s your problem?” You leaned in left speechless at the unexpected behavior of your friend. You felt like the whole situation was getting too serious over a stupid hoodie, so you tried easing the tension by joking around. “Would I be that bad to date?”

You immediately shrunk back giggling when Sungjin lifted his head from his hands for a little bit to glare at you nostrils flaring before shoving his face back into his hands.

“That’s not it and you know it,” he gritted out. Sungjin truly didn’t mean to get grumpy with you, he was having an internal conflict. Whether to tell you his friend’s secret, or to keep it to himself and not interfere. You were left to stare at him wondering if you should leave him alone for the rest of class while Sungjin went through a flashback that had put him on edge around you.

-2 days ago-

Sungjin groaned, shoving his face deeper into the soft fabric of his pillow and stretching his arm out to the nightstand next to his bed, hand fumbling around for the blaring alarm clock. He grumbled, lifting his head to groggily glare at the numbers displayed on the clock.

7:26

He had 34 minutes to get to his 8 am psychology class. He tiredly exhaled sitting up in his bed and rubbing his bleary eyes. He took a quick shower hoping it would wake him up, but the haziness of sleep still drifted around the corners of his mind. He could barely keep his eyes open as he brushed his teeth.

He threw the first thing he could find from his dresser figuring he could come back to change if he had any change to plans which right now was absolutely nothing. Sometimes he wondered why he had decided to be in a frat, he wasn’t the most social or the most popular, and he didn’t particularly like going to parties- but, he had met some people he could never dream of living without.

Like Dowoon, who he had to push off the bed with a promise that he could sleep in class later. He sighed watching the poor boy stumble as he tugged on a pair of jeans letting out a sigh of relief when he fell back on the bed.

Sungjin couldn’t help but smile. Even with all the people he had met because of the frat, Dowoom and you would be the closest friends he had in this stressful place. You guys were the foundation of everything he had ever found important. The people who guided him when he was lost, and he would be damned if he ever let his friendship with the both of you go.

He mindlessly grabbed his ramen smelling hoodie thinking you could use it if you forgot your own like you did every other day, or Dowoon could use it as a pillow if he was particularly tired like he was...every other day. Sungjin swore that kid had to stop taking the bus to random places late at night. It was a wonder how he hadn’t accidentally ended up in another city with his nightly escapades.

He was thinking about whether he would risk eating or not as he jogged down the stairs to get to the kitchen when he heard your name. He narrowed his eyes stopping right at the last step of the stairs thinking he was mishearing things. Wait- there it was again. Your name. His precious friend’s name.

Sungjin shrugged it off thinking they meant another Y/n, but he was quickly corrected when he heard your last name too.

His jaw ticked and his mouth suddenly felt dry as he wondered what you could have possibly done to have frat boys talking about you. He paused just right outside the kitchen wanting to hear just what they could have been talking about to be bringing you into the conversation.

“How would I know if the girl is single? I didn’t even know she existed before Jae mentioned her”

He heard the person scoff as confusion made Sungjin’s eyebrows tug together. You? In a relationship? You hadn’t had a boyfriend since high school, who he had to stop himself from pummeling into the ground when he cheated on you and had continuously tried getting you back. Sungjin swore you had the worst luck when it came to relationships.

Not only had you had a bad experience with one, but you were too naive when it came to people actually liking you. He had lost count of all the disappointed faces he had seen of people who had asked you out only for you to respond with one of your bright smiles along with something along the lines of “Sure, I would love to be your friend”.

He shivered wincing at the sole memory of some of them. He had never said anything because you had never mentioned liking them, and you told him everything. He really wished he could forget about the fact you sold Dowoon’s game controller in order to buy a Cheeto the shape of a heart which you then proceeded to eat without any regrets.

“Well then what are we supposed to do? Go up to the girl and say “Hey, you don’t know who the hell we are, but we would like to know about your relationship status because you don’t have a Facebook we can stalk to see whether your love life is existent or not”, Sungjin peeked around the edge of the doorway seeing two figures sitting at the kitchen island having breakfast, and the person talking was animatedly waving his hands around.

“We desperately need to know because our friend Jae is about to be strangled since he won’t stop writing stupid sappy love songs about you” Younghyung do you even know how crazy we seem right now. We are quite possibly the worst wingmen in the history of wingmen” He now recognized the voice as Kim Wonpil’s voice, and at the same time Sungjin felt his heart claw up his throat as he slightly stumbled back in surprise.

Jae Park. One of the other members of the frat. And the boy you had been crushing on for two years. Also one of his closest friends not including you and Dowoon. Sungjin suddenly wished he had just stayed in bed today. Jae was one of the most popular guys on campus. Not because he slept around or anything, but because he was actually a friendly person. He got along with everyone, and he was basically friends with everyone.

Jae had helped Sungjin out of some tough spots before, even invited him out to hang out when you and Dowoon were busy doing who knows what. Jae’s closest friends were Kim Wonpil and Kang Younghyun. Sungjin had talked to those two before, but not enough to go up to them and randomly start up conversations with them.

He still remembered the day you had excitedly come up to him squealing about how the Jae Park was in your sociology class. Eyes shining and giggles erupting out of your mouth every five seconds. He really couldn’t stand you that day. Sungjin felt something stir in his chest, but he couldn't really tell what it was. He shook it off stiffly walking into the kitchen with his heart pounding in his ears.

Sungjin had felt awkward almost all his life, but he was sure nothing could top the sudden tension he felt in his body when the boy’s conversation came to a sudden halt at his appearance. He kept his back to them rolling his shoulders and trying to distract himself from the eyes boring into his back. He grabbed the cereal box turning around to get a bowl catching the two boys wildy gesturing at each other with wide eyes before immediately stopping once they noticed he could see them.

He kept his gaze directly directed at his cereal hoping whoever was listening they wouldn’t talk to him.

“Hey, Sungjin?’

He always thought there’d be a day where he’d drown in his cereal. Maybe today was that day. He paused a bit before grunting in reply looking up to see it had been Younghyun who had spoken and Wonpil who was darting his gaze everywhere but Sungjin’s eyes.

“You know Y/n L/n?” Younghyun again spoke leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

Sungjin knew he was playing dumb. Everybody knew you and Sungjin were practically glued at the hip. Wherever one of you was, the other could probably be found close by.

He put down the cereal with a sigh, tilting his head at them as he braced himself against the kitchen island with both arms.

“I would hope so. I’ve known her since I was seven years old, and I see her almost everyday” He smiled at them mirthfully feeling an inkling of possessiveness sprout in the confines of his chest. Once again, Sungjin shook it off as protectiveness he felt for you as a little sister.

Younghyun opened and closed his mouth as if not knowing how to respond to Sungjin’s answer. He finally cleared his throat seemingly still finding his voice until Wonpil’s panicked and rushed voice cut him off.

“Are you and Y/n seeing each other?” Wompil immediately clasped his hand to his mouth shaking his head wildy and mumbling warbled apologies while Younghyun slapped the loud mouth upside the head.

Sungjin took a shaky breath in suddenly feeling dizzy as he swayed lightly. His voice was disbelieving when he was able to sputter out his reply.

“W-what makes you think Y/n and I are anything more than friends” his eyes flitted between Wonpil and Younghyun left at a loss for words.

Sure, he and you were inseparable, always going everywhere and anywhere together, but not once had you ever shown signs of being more than friends. Never looking longingly or lovingly at each other, never kissing, never holding hands for more than a minute (in his defense he didn’t want to lose you in the crowd), never proclaiming your love for one another. You guys had never done anything that would suggest anything more than a friendly relationship.

The two boys in front of you looked at each other then at the speechless figure of Sungjin harshly whispering before Wonpil finally made eye contact with Sungjin nervously tapping his finger on the kitchen islan. Pursing his lips he seemed to be choosing his words carefully.

“It’s just that, Jinyoung said he saw Y/n wearing your hoodie. The one you have right now, and you know um people wear each other’s clothes when they’re together, so we just assumed there was something between you guys. We’re sorry Sungjin, we really didn’t mean to jump to conclusions bud”

Sungjin’s eyes drifted down to the hoodie in his hands. The very one he always let you borrow simply because you got cold, and he bought it to class for that exact reason. He was just trying to take care of you, and somehow that had gotten mistaken as anything but friendly intentions. He knew you really liked Jae, but at the same time Sungjin was scared.

He was scared you would leave him behind once you began dating Jae. You almost did when your dumb high school boyfriend told you he didn’t like you being so close to a boy, and he threatened to break up with you if you didn’t distance yourself from Sungjin, your bestfriend. He was terrified of it happening for real this time.

You would have no time for him because you were too busy with Jae, and he would be forgotten by the one person he could always count on. He would lose the smile and laughter of the one person who had always been there for him, but who was he to cling on to you when you could be happier without him. Sungjin felt like he was going to throw up. He was so sure you would leave him behind to rot, you wouldn’t need him anymore.

You wouldn’t need someone to bring a hoodie for you in case you forgot. You wouldn’t need someone to help you fix your bike after you crashed it from getting distracted while riding it. You wouldn’t need someone to patch you up and take away the pain after said bike crash. You wouldn’t need anyone to wipe away your tears when the demons in your head got particularly demanding. You wouldn’t need sungjin anymore because you would have Jae. Sungjin felt like he was getting strangled. He couldn’t breathe past the lump of dread that had formed in his drying throat.

He could not bear to lose the one person that had been by his side through the brightest and cloudiest days. He could not possibly lose the one person that had been by his side through all the ups and downs of life. He could not lose you. Not his peaches with your soft exterior but strong interior.

He felt his body go numb with the immense sadness that tore through his chest, and he began feeling his eyes tear up.

Would he be selfish at the expense of your happiness?

He felt his chest heave as he let out a heavy exhale closing his eyes at the ache beginning to probe at his temples. He shook his head once looking back at the pair who were staring at him with hunched shoulders, both regretting the fact they had even bought it up to him seeing his inner turmoil.

“Does Jae think so too?” his voice was as monotone as he’d ever heard it. Wonpil simply nodded chewing at his lips nervously.

Sungjin shoved the cereal box back into the cupboard not bothering to look at the boys mumbling a low “I need to get to class” as he walked away shaking hands clutching the hoodie to his chest not seeing the worried look the boys gave each other.

-Back to present-

Sungjin groaned feeling like he was about to pass out with all the mixed emotions coursing through his body right now. He decided for now, he would not tell you of Jae’s returned feelings towards you ignoring the guilt clenching around his heart by deciding it was not his place to say what Jae felt.

He quickly slipped his body out the hoodie throwing it at you and grumbling that you better return it to by the end of class. You laughed happily snuggling into the warmth of the hoodie but looking skeptically at Sungjin who had decided to distract himself by scrolling through his phone. You knew when your best friend was hiding something, and right now your best friend was certainly not telling you something.

You felt a bit hurt that even after all these years of building each other up, he couldn’t confide in you when there was something that was bothering him, but you shrugged it off figuring he would tell you when he was ready and you didn’t want to push him. You wondered why he was asking for it by the end of class since he always let you keep it until the end of the day. You once again shook it off figuring he probably got cold too.

You did not give it back by the end of class. You ran out of class. With the hoodie.

By the time Sungjin noticed you were gone with the hoodie still on your body, you were out the human resources building on your way to the student common area where the cafeteria was. Sungjin cursed your black hole of a stomach while Dowoon cackled claiming he deserved it for letting you sell his game controller.

You excitedly ran into the cafeteria stomach growling because let’s be real, cereal was not enough to sustain a growing girl such as yourself. You were instantly met with the smell of different kinds of foods from the variety of restaurants your university cafeteria had. Your eyes hungrily scanned the restaurants lining the room before deciding you could really go for a Subway right now. You were walking out of the little restaurant with the sandwich in your hands when you heard a voice call your name.

You let out a small confused “Huh” in response to the calling of your name spinning around searching the faces of the students peacefully eating and laughing together not being able to find the caller of your name.

Your vision went black as hands suddenly covered your eyes and a chest pressed up against your back. You jumped scared by the sudden greeting gasping in surprise.

“Hey!”, you yelped out.

Your own hands went up to the culprit’s wrists gently moving them down. You tilted your head back being met with a bright smile and a soft laugh that rang in your ears and made your chest fill with warmth. You instantly spun around face to face with your crush of two years.

He was your crush, but he had also become a close friend since the day you had coincidentally sat next to him on the first day of your sociology class not paying attention to who you were sitting next to and just walking to one of the front rows, sure you wouldn’t know anyone in the class.

He whispered your name asking to borrow a pencil and you spent around one minute staring at him like an idiot before fumbling inside your bag for a pencil and giving it to him clumsily. He had chuckled lowly muttering a “cute” under his breath which you were sure you weren’t meant to hear but you had become very attentive to him now knowing he was the one you were sitting next to and stunned by the fact he even knew your name.

You tried ignoring he was sitting next to you, but he moved around so much you wondered if he had to go to the restroom. He eventually noticed your staring simply telling you he had become restless since he had gotten sudden motivation for a song. You were impressed and intrigued by the prospect of him being a songwriter wondering what kind of words he brought to life with different melodies and harmonies.

You sneakily smiled at him, eyes flickering to the professor not far from where you were sitting before sliding your books in front of the notes he had put no effort into and giving him a sly wink giggling.

“I’ll cover for you”, you whispered.

He gave you a look that made a warm tingle run all over your body, eyes softening at you and cheekily winking back.

“I won’t forget your noble sacrifice” he immediately flipped to a new page of his notebook borrowed pencil quickly scribbling across the page.

You had to stop yourself from squealing as you subtly sank in your chair, the corner of your lips twitching as you tried to stop yourself from smiling at seemingly nothing. Sticking your nose into your own notebook and actually writing notes in order to distract yourself from looking at Jae who was now in his own world. Not failing the class was a bonus.

You were so into forcing yourself to pay attention to the monotone professor you didn’t notice Jae’s gaze coming back to your figure every so often taking note of all your features that made his heart beat faster and his head spin.

Ever since that day, you two became close, occasionally getting together outside of class when one of you finally mustered up the courage to plan said get together. It was usually to see a movie where you guys occasionally brushed each other’s hands while trying to get one of the snacks you had bought.

After the movie, it was tradition to go to the noodle place next to the bookstore at the end of the street where you laughed and joked around together. You had never told anyone of these times holding the memories as too precious and personal to share, scared that if you spoke of them they would disappear. You had even refused to hang out with Sungjin telling him you had to study which you felt a little guilty about, but spending a little less time with him wouldn’t hurt right?

Your eyes widened as you pouted at him. “Jae, you can’t just do that to a person, I almost dropped my lunch and I would have made you pay for another one you ingrate” You were once again met with the same laugh as before, except louder this time. The one that instantly made you smile back at him, heart skipping beats periodically. The laugh that made the colors around you suddenly dance with a vibrancy that beautifully spun and twirled making you so wonderfully dizzy.

“I’m a college student Y/n I can barely afford my own food. Do you want me to starve?” His eyes crinkled behind the glasses sitting on his narrow nose making your world spin just a bit faster on the axis of what could only be his smile. “Evil, pure evil.” he shook his head scrunching up his nose as if disappointed in you.

You put your hands on your hips looking offended and tutting. “You’re the one that wants to make me starve. I haven’t eaten in one hour. That’s too long Jae!” he chuckled playfully, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Stop being dramatic and come eat with me loser. I mean uh, if you want to of course. Do you?” he gave you a nervous smile lightly tugging at a strand of your chair before shifting his feet and tugging at his jacket.

You tilted your head as if seriously thinking, looking at his smile slowly falling making your own heart sink being the cause of making something so lovely die. You teasingly reached up to push his glasses back up his nose, finger accidentally gracing the corner of his mouth. Softly laughing you walked by him and gently bumped his shoulder with yours.

“Maybe another day,” you snickered. He instantly played into your joke once again laughing. He did a lot of that. Laugh. Never ashamed to show how happy he was. You on the other hand, had to hide how happy his own happiness made you.

“Walk away from me young lady and I will never let you eat my Starbursts again nerd” he threatened with a small smile playing on his lips. You couldn’t the light laugh that bubbled up from your chest turning around and putting your hands up in mock surrender. Jae’s chest filled with warm tingles like it did every time he made you laugh.

“You monster. You can’t just deprive me of Starbursts. They get me through the horror movies you always pick! I’ll sit with you, for the Starbursts.” Your determined tone and furrowed eyebrows made Jae breathlessly laugh as he walked closer to you hand reaching out towards your frozen figure.

Your heart palpitated as you tried to calm your breathing, but one of his hands took a hold of your hand running up your arm until it located itself on your shoulder, tugging you into his body and making him able to throw an arm around your shoulder.

Your skin burned wherever his warm touch lingered, and your face felt hot. You once again had to take a deep breath to calm yourself from the wondrous euphoria you felt just by being by Jae. He began walking bringing your flustered self along with him. You were so caught up in trying to make sure you didn’t trip, you didn’t notice Jae’s own cheeks tinting with pink or his shaking hand hanging off your shoulder.

He led you over to a table near the windows where two figures were hunched over and inhaling their food, talking to each other every few seconds. You recognized them as Jae’s two closest friends, Wonpil and Younghyun. You had never met them which caused you to dig your heels into the ground effectively stopping both you and Jae.

“Don’t worry they’re nice. As long as i'm here, they won’t do anything. I won’t let them” he had ducked down too whisper into your ear warm breath hitting the shell of your ear. You hesitantly nodded continuing to walk while Jae tightened his arm around your shoulders and brought you closer into his left side making the whole right side of your body burn at the wake of his touch.

Different from his earlier tone he cheerfully called out for the two who didn;t look up from their food.

“Jae you’re usually the first one at the table what took you so long. Wait don’t tell me, busy staring at-'' Younghyun had begun speaking taunting Jae and still not looking up until he was cut off by a shove from Wonpil who had raised his gaze to greet Jae only to be surprised with you basically tucked into his friend’s body. You curiously looked up at Jae wondering what so often caught his attention so much his friends teased him who only shrugged mouthing a “he’s crazy” and looking in Younghyun’s direction.

Jae cleared his voice but you poked him purposefully looking at him and muttering, “I can speak for myself” You turned to the pair who were both kindly smiling at you waving awkwardly at them. “Uh hi, my name is Y/n”

Wonpil smiled sweetly at you putting his chin on his hand and glancing at Jae. “We know”. You stared at him, mouth falling open and uttering a confused “Huh?” You were so focused on staring questionly at Wonpil to notice Jae mouthing threatening words at his friends. Younghyun cut him with a stiff laugh “Sungjin talks about you a lot”.

You instantly bought it smiling at the thought of your friend. You had forgotten these boys were a part of the frat he had recently joined. Wonpil seemed to fall out of whatever stupor he had fallen in stupidly smiling in Jae’s direction jumping up to offer you a handshake and introducing himself which you instantly took hoping your palms weren’t sweaty from nervousness. Younghyun followed in Wonpil’s lead, just a little more relaxed and laid back than the jumpy and energetic Wonpil.

Jae’s hands ushered you to sit down while he sat opposite the seat he had pushed you into next to his friends, making Wonpil’s small form get squished between Jae and Younghyun. You smiled softly at the sight getting reminded by your own little trio of you, Sungjin, and Dowoon. You started unwrapping your sandwich as you answered basic questions from Jae’s friends like what your major was and what flavor of ice cream you preferred.

You found yourself being able to fall into a steady rhythm of laughing and talking with the three boys in front of you getting comfortable enough to relax and talk with ease growing confident with the little group. You were answering Wonpil’s question about the tattoo just behind your right ear when you saw his gaze fall to your clothes, his mouth fell open a little as he struggled to focus on your answer too focused on the hoodie enveloping your form.

His shoulders slightly slumped as he nudged Younghyun muttering to him that you had the hoodie on. You were completely enraptured in the conversation Jae had pulled you into, so Younghyun had to clear his throat to catch your attention. His mouth was tugged into a calm smile, but his gaze was sharp making your stomach quiver with a sudden bundle of nerves.

“The hoodie is nice” he gestured cooly to the hoodie keeping you warm “Where did you get it from” the question seemed to carry double meaning. You saw Jae eyes widen, filling with an emotion you couldn’t quite place, body stiffening in his seat. You suddenly remembered what the one rule Sungjin had given you when throwing the clothing at you, and you had run right out of class breaking the one damn rule he had given you.

You groaned burying your head in your arms while tugging at the fabric that was Sungjin’s hoodie as if it would magically disappear from your body into Sungjin’s hands. You chewed at your lip looking at the boys in front of you, bitten lips now formed into a pout.

“I’m not even supposed to have this. I should have given it to him by the end of class, but it was so cold and Sungjin always gives me his hoodie when I forget mine.” You ran your hands through your hair already practicing what you’d say to him, but you knew the outcome was all the same. He was probably going to give you the scolding of your life. You really didn’t understand why he cared if other people thought you were dating. He had never cared about it before.

People had even confused you as a couple before, and he had always shrugged it off forgetting about it as soon as it happened. “Ugh, he’s going to kill me. If you don’t see me tomorrow Sungjin did it” i said sadly.

Jae wasn’t saying anything finding more interest in the table than the conversation you were currently having with his friends. You wondered what was up with him since he was always more than eager to join in on the conversation, but you coined it off as him being lost in thought.

The sharp look in Younghyun’s eyes remained and he didn’t laugh like most people would at the relationship between you and the other male. Wonpil simply sank in his seat leaning a little closer to Jae. You were beginning to feel anxious left foot tapping across the floor getting ready to bolt any second. Your mouth felt dry and it hurt to swallow the bite of sandwich you had just put in your mouth.

Younghyun finally looked away from you staring out the window next to the table and fiddling with the spoon on his table. “You and Sungjin seem close” his jaw was tight and tone uninterested but you felt like your answer held the weight of the world in it. You chose to stay calm ignoring the voices in your head telling you to run away as fast as you could. The food in your stomach felt heavy and you fought the urge to throw up.

You smiled softly at them. “Of course we are, he’s one of the most important people in my life'' You saw Jae close his eyes as if he had just been punched in the gut, and you saw Younghyun’s hand clenched into a fist knuckles turning white but you kept going, keeping your voice light and soft. “He’s been my best friend since I can remember” you added on taking the hoodie off and instantly wincing and getting attacked by the cold air circulating the cafeteria.

You shivered really hating yourself for forgetting your jacket. Everybody seemed to ease up, so you figured your answer had been the right one. What exactly deemed it as right you still weren’t sure. Younghyun leaned back in his seat, his sharp gaze gone, and the humorous glint in his eyes back. Wonpil put his elbows on the table leaning closer to you and once again asking you another question while Jae seemed to spring back to life also joining in on the conversation with the bright smile back on his face and his eyes getting their shine back.

You couldn’t help but feel a light tingle prick at the back of your neck at seeing Jae happy and himself again. Your lips tugged into a small satisfied smile, and while talking with them you would continuously look at Jae who you caught staring every time then bashfully look back at Wonpil not being able to bear the thought of Jae looking at you and only you.

Jae never looked away from you. Not even when you caught him in the act simply chuckling when you smiled nervously and looked at his friend. You were both so caught up in each other you didn’t see Wonpil wiggling his eyebrows at Younghyun who rolled his eyes but smiled happily nonetheless.

A little tension left your body because the air around the four of you had immensely calmed down, but the cold was now once again seeping into your skin, chilling you to the bones.You gave the boys an uncomfortable smile as you began to shiver. Wonpil and Younghyun smiled at you sympathetically while Jae got an unsure look on his face, lips pursing and eyebrows furrowing. He looked worriedly at you, a silent question in his eyes.

“You okay?” You beamed at him assuring him, but your body was still shaking. He set his shoulders back keeping eye contact with you while getting up and pulling his jacket off his body. He shook his head “Tsk tsk Y/n, what would you possibly do without me?” You felt your face grow hot trying your hardest to ignore the sliver of skin exposed by his shirt riding up when he took off the article of clothing.

His hair was ruffled and his glasses were askew and barely held up by the bridge of his nose, but the only thing you could focus on was the arm extended towards you holding the blue jean jacket being offered to you. Your breath was caught in your throat, and you stood there frozen staring at the jean jacket. You couldn’t even feel the chilly air of the cafeteria anymore. Not when the warmth caused by Jae’s offer was enough to sink into the deepest confines of your chest, settling there giving you an odd sense of comfort making your heart hum happily.

Both you and Jae did not see Wonpil and Younghyun looking at each other with goofy grins before leaving both of you heading towards their next classes.

The hand holding the sweater shook once. “We don’t have all day here loser. My noodle arm really can’t hold this jacket forever. I skipped arm day last week” you held your hand out placing it on the jacket, but you still didn’t take the jacket swallowing harshly and clearing your throat. You looked at Jae beneath your eyelashes blinking slowly at him ,heart pounding against your rib cage. At that moment, nobody but you and Jae existed.

“Are you sure?” your unsure question made Jae roll his eyes, his next actions happening so fast you had no time to properly react. He grasped your wrist from the hand placed on his jacket still in his hand drawing your body towards his with so much force your hips briefly bumped against his. He let go of your wrist instead grabbing his jacket with both hands, and you were forced to put your hand on his shoulder to stop yourself from actually crashing into him.

His arms went around you putting his jacket around your head in order to hang the jacket on your shoulders making sure it covered you enough so the cold wouldn’t bother you anymore. You were pretty sure the whole cafeteria could hear how loud and fast your heart was beating. You couldn’t think straight. The only thing you could even process was Jae’s hands still on the lapel of the jacket, barely brushing the part of your stomach above your belly button.

You seemed to get a control of your body as you looked up at him with wide eyes getting met with his face closer than it had ever been, the lightest flush on his cheek bones and lips slightly parted. You could see your hand trembling with pure adrenaline as the hand that wasn’t on his shoulder reached up to fix his tilted glasses and messy hair. The hand on his shoulder was close enough to his chest to feel the slight drum of his heart unusually fast for someone who was basically standing still.

You really weren’t sure why you were surprised. Jae had always gone out of his for you. Always done little things to take care of you in his own little way. Holding your hand when the professor handed back assignments rubbing your knuckles with his thumb reassuringly, playing his guitar when you were in a sad mood at the park you sometimes visited after coming back from the noodle place, gently brushing your hair away from your face when it fell on your face while writing notes, or crushing you in a hug when you didn’t get the grade you wanted hand gently holding you against him.

He always joined in on your childish behavior by pushing you on the swing or going down the slide with you at the park, always bringing you your favorite snacks from the convenience store he walked by on the way to class knowing fully well you sometimes forgot to eat, or even letting you spill your tears to him on days you just didn’t feel good.

He had always stuck by your side. During both good days and bad days even managing to make the bad days good days just by being there with you making it his mission to make you smile. All this made you come to a realization. Sure, maybe what you had for him before was nothing but a silly crush, but now as you got to know him more and become someone he confided in, the feelings you got around him were crystal clear.

You were in love with Jaehyung Park, and now that you knew what you were feeling, you wanted to scream it to the whole world. What you were feeling was something so beautiful and precious that people only dreamed to experience. You weren’t sure if the vile world would ever allow you to feel this ethereal emotion ever again, and as you looked up at the man your heart had so harshly and deeply fallen for, you were terrified. You didn’t want to ruin what you had.

You wanted to stay like this, blissfully unaware of each other's true feelings for one another. Even if your body and heart longed to be close to him, to touch him, feel him, and know every crevice and inch of him, you counted yourself lucky to be able to be close to him like this, where your probably unreturned feelings didn’t make anything awkward or burdensome for anyone.

You felt a little prick at your eye cursing yourself for wanting to cry, but you managed a small smile in Jae’s direction taking a step away from him and suggesting you sit back down since you both still had time before you had to go to class. He sat on the opposite side of the table as you, gaze not straying away from you.

You took a deep breath feeling tingles running along your spine since the air between you both had become tense filled with something you couldn’t identify. You both remained silent sitting there. You became fidgety, stretching your legs in front of you only for your right leg to gently bump against what you assumed to be the pole supporting and holding the table up. You were staring outside watching all the students pass by happily ignorant to the slight change in relationship between the two friends sitting across each other sitting in silence.

You absentmindedly started running your leg up and down the pole under the table when you heard a weird sputtering sound much alike to choking from a foot away from you. You turned away from the window looking at the man across from you only to flinch back in surprise with the sight you were met with.

Jae was staring at you with wide panicked eyes, and his shaking arm held up to his face, but even with the arm you could see the red tinting his chest, neck, face, and ears. His chest was heaving and you could see his whole body trembling. You instantly grew worried all focus going to Jae assuming there was something seriously wrong with him. The table wasn’t that wide which allowed you to lean closer to his body holding your palm to his forehead feeling it was abnormally hot. You anxiously tapped your foot against the pole supporting the table. “Jae are you okay?” you heard him gasp out an answer not being able to understand at all when you felt the pole under the table slightly move against your leg.

Wait, poles can’t move.

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mousehole5000 · 4 years ago

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more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

#tgcf liveblog #bedtime now but im excited to be moving on #mouse mumbles

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stevengrantshubby · 4 years ago

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okay, okay okay, okay. so here i go, idk if there will be a point in this but im gonna write it up anyways. so follow me down this weird half thought thur path or whatever

okay, so we know that tfatws takes place 6 months after endgame, long enough for things to no longer be new and the problems with what the avengers did (or undid if you prefer) are really setting in, not even a full year. the people who came back from the blip have only had 6 months to figure out whats going on, where their families were if they still had them, ect, ect and only 6 months for the people who were left behind to “adjust” to having everything ripped away from them. i do wonder about a lot of things from this time, but i doubt that we’ll get a ton of concrete answers about it.

anyways.

when we see sam in the opening action scene hes very confident and self-assured. hes in his element so to speak. hes strong, smart on his feet, and we see sam use his new wings as a shield multiple times which to me feels like either a kind of statement that sam doesnt need the shield or to show that he would be really good with the shield, it feels important somehow considering who important the shield becomes in the show.

also, the military guy tells sam that once the LAF get across the tunisia boarder its supposed to be a no-fly zone so to speak which is why it was important for sam to get him before which hints that not everywhere got rid of boarders. like, tunisia is in northern africa and when we meet the flag smashers later theyre mostly in eastern eurpoe and also torres makes a comment about things not being better during the blip and his american (im pretty sure) so again where these things are happening in relation to boarders and the like it still makes me think about how the world worked through the blip, but again probably wont get concrete answers.

also in this episode we see the first instance of sam being recognized for who he is by a man from tunisia (who im going to consider a character of color tho im not sure if this is considered accurate in the real world) and not recognized by white american men, this happens in episode two as well.

while the shield sort of becomes the super important symbol, we are also shown in this episode that steve has been kind put on a pseudo god-like position. yes, its a joke to ask if hes the moon of all places, but the whole “looking down on us”/”watching over us” feels a lot like the christian capital-G God. he has been put on this kind of pedestal by the people who really didnt know anything about him and also bucky (but hes been hanging by a thread for a while it seems so its a little different) in contrast to sam.

sam has a lot of respect for steve. he calls him courageous, righteous, and hopeful. the best in us because these emotions are supposed to inspire “good works” as it were. sam then states that the world needs new heroes for the current times and that symbols only have meaning because of the people who give them meaning. and upon my rewatch this feels sam want to preserve the meaning that steve, his friend, imbued into the shield but also wants to move forward. i do think that the fact that sam is a black man who is not treated very well by america plays into his decision as well, i also think the fact that we hear the lines from endgame:

- it feels like it belongs to someone else.

-it doesnt.

is important. right now im thinking that the shield is essentially meaningless because steve is gone for all intents and purposes and he dropped it without a second thought. like i get it, in terms of what the show is doing and like i said, how people who dont know steve would probably react but even so many weeks later it sits weird. even the dora milige left the shield behind even though its made of stolen vibranium, cause its just a thing. anyways...

rhodey, after the speech, parrots back at sam that they do live in a different time, but he thinks that this different time does require someone to carry the shield.

then we meet sams sister and his nephews. sam and his sisters relationship does hold a lot of tension between them but theres still so much love there as well. its very normal, reminds me of tension that i feel between myself and some of my family members and that i see between different family members as well.

sarah wilson is a black woman who, like many black women I know, have been holding things together the best she can with (seemingly) not much help. we know that sam left after their father died (i dont remember if their mother is also dead), he couldnt handle it as stated, so he went off and fought. but in being gone he sarah ran the business the best she could. shes also a widow, not sure when that happened but y'know thats there too.

but ii think that how sam feels about his familys home and boat in contrast with how he treated the shield kind of. sam references the boat as their familys legacy (sarah also calls their dad a 'giant' and that not mattering to the bank and probably others) and he doesnt want to let that go no matter what. however both of these are acts of preservation on sams part, just in different ways. he tried to let one go while desperately trying to hold on to the other, one to be put in stasis and one to move forward, grow, passed down ect, ect.

now sam really only tries to get involved with the flag smashers because he theyre super soldiers. and i guess youd call this the inciting incident part of act one.

now the next three episodes are very intertwinded in the plot and what kind of world sam would be becoming captain america in. sam makes an off handed comment that sharon, zemo, and bucky are more worldly than him but thats true. and he does have to...learn, is the best word i have. i mean, the most he can do right now is “make a call” as he puts it which really isnt a lot considering whats been going on.

and to backtrack (sorry if this is all over the place) we do see sam constantly empathizing with the flag smashers and more specifically karli consistently throughout the show. if they werent super soldiers hed not have crossed their path the way that he did. throughout the show, well before episode 4, sam is really focused on like where exactly the super soldiers are coming from, the fact that the flag smashers are stealing money, and food, and medicine he doesnt really care.

when he has his heart to heart with karli the main problem that he has honestly, is the murders (and i do wish that there was distinction made cause that is important, but i know that in show sam probably doesnt know that karli blew up a building with people tied up in it like we do but its important that we know that), when he says that the killings wouldnt make the world better just different along with karli saying “theyre roadblocks on my journey and id kill them again if i had to” (which is 1. very dehumanizing, 2. she says 'my' and not 'our', and 3. she didnt have to kill these low level workers) is more a restructuring of power instead of dismantling it.

like theres a lot here but my minds not connecting fully.

i know the show isnt over so ii dont really have a conclusion (i honestly havent even said half of what I took notes about) but its like 4 am here and I gotta go to bed. And I dont want this ti be multiple parts right now I just needed to get this outta my system lol.

part 2 whenever

#tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #sam wilson #//these is really bad actually lol dont read it im tired

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fictionalboysarejustbetter · 5 years ago

Text

Friendships from Afar

Distance creates a barrier of trust. There are no worries. There is always a safety net to fall back on that protects from hurt or pain. Beginning in second grade, my personal goal had always been to find a singular, perfect friend who lives far away. We could talk openly with each other, and I would have the ability to be myself. The plan is that years later, I would meet this person in the weirdest of circumstances, and we would be best friends forever. It’s even better if this friend is a guy, so then we can both fall in love and get married to live happily ever after.

In second grade, the entire class received school pen pals, and while my fourth-grade pen pal was not ideal, I knew I loved this “secret” letter writing system where I am just Rebecca, nothing more or less. Moving into fifth grade, Mrs. Smith found me a pen pal from China. Through our teachers, we would send each other letters back and forth until the school year was over. From this moment onward, I was hooked; pen pals didn’t care what I looked like or how shy I was or how involved my mother was with the school, I could just be me, and they only knew the information I told them. Without asking for help, I scavenged through the internet, trying to collect pen pals as if they were Webkinz. I was convinced this perfect friend could only be found on pen pal websites that look like they were made by my fellow fifth graders.

Starting in sixth grade, I would spend night after night stalking the profiles of random teenagers on Students of the World, a supposedly “safe” pen pal website for kids. Gender? Who cares. Age? About 10-16. Likes? Reading, of course. Language? English please. I would then press search and sift through hundreds of profiles, finding the perfect candidates to be my best friend. This process was extremely predictable, including:

The teenage boys “looking” for a relationship:

Nathaniel, Age 14, UK

HOBBIES:

Photo

Trips

Cinema, Television

Sports

Reading

Painting, Drawing, Art

Hi! Are you looking for a cool guy to write to? Send me a nice message otherwise you’ll miss something priceless.

I can speak:

English, French

The liars that claimed they like everything and speak every language:

Janhvi, Age 16, USA

HOBBIES:

Photo

Trips

Clothes

Cinema, Television

Sports

Sciences

Music

Reading

Animals, Nature

Cooking

Collections

Painting, Drawing, Art

Hello !!👩I'm Janhvi .I like to travel.I have traveled in to many countries .Such as india , sri lanka, china, france and more.I like make new friends.message me soon guys.👭👫OUR LIFE IS CHANGE , BUT FRIENDSHIP NEVER BE CHANGE.

I can speak:

English French German Italian Spanish Arabic Chinese Japanese Korean

The students making a profile for class:

Chaya, Age 13, USA

HOBBIES:

Clothes

Cinema, Television

Music

Reading

Animals, Nature

I am looking for a penpal for our school project. I would like to find some in Atlanta, Georgia.

I can speak:

English

I would scroll through these profiles so constantly that I rarely found new profiles. I was judging every profile based off of the person’s name, biography, age, likes, languages, everything. Most people without a profile picture wouldn’t receive an email from me. I tried to avoid messaging anyone from the United States unless they sounded like a major fangirl or fanboy over the books I liked. I automatically favored anyone from Europe, especially if they had an interesting name. But regardless if anyone from anywhere sent me a message first, I would respond back at least once.

Shortly after the search began, I received a message from a girl named Julia from Australia. She and I were the same age, we both needed a friend, and we both liked reading, animals, music, and clothes. Quickly, my life began to revolve around the fourteen hours that always stood between Australia and the United States. Throughout sixth and seventh grade, we would be constantly messaging on the messaging app “kik,” confiding everything deep and useless to each other like best friends do:

Becca says:

Hey, how are you?

Julia says:

Everyones well... Mum and dad start the long drive to melbourne this weekend so everythings kinda topsy turvy :p

How is your family and pets? Im sorry for my rudeness that i didnt ask earlier

Nearlytime for school?

Becca says:

Lol that is fine! I get to school around 8, so normally ill drop off right before, lol i try to remember to tell you but i tend to forget. Theyre good though. Willie and Apricot are happy my grandma left :-P mom and dad are helping me with my ancestry project and exploding of happiness because I got a position in that volleyball club and my sister has been working and spending money :-P her favorite thing to do

Julia says:

Ahh the christmas spirit... Lol is there anyone in the house who loves your grandmother?

Becca says:

Lol we love her because shes family, but no one loves her when shes here if you know what i mean.

What’s up?

For two years, the conversations would continue for hours, as we both wait anxiously for the “ding” on our tablets, indicating a new message. Julia’s father was a firefighter who fought the nasty bushfires that haunted their country. I interviewed him as my hero for my final paper and presentation in my eighth grade English class. I interviewed him through email after our initial plans to Skype were sidetracked by the active wildfires, and I so proudly presented the information about him that you would have thought he was my father.

One day, Julia told me about her divorced parents. Then, she told me about the twins her mom just gave birth to. Then, she explained that she actually has a twin brother and no younger siblings at all. Then, she became an aunt to twin nephews. Then, her house burned down, and she had to move across the country. Then, her parents just moved across town. The stories continued and continued only within months of each other, not adding up in any way, shape, or form. With hope still in my heart, I sent her all three books of The Hunger Games trilogy since she really wanted to read them, but two months later, the books came back in the mail as undeliverable. The address did not exist.

Unable to admit defeat or accept the idea that my best friend might not be real despite all of the evidence, I started to panic. What if she is catfishing me? I’ve seen that show before, and I even gave “her” my address. Whoever this person is could easily come to my house and kidnap me...maybe I should tell my mom and warn the police. But maybe, she just has a really hard life, and she compulsively lies to make herself feel better? Maybe, she just really wants attention, and that’s why none of her stories are adding up. Besides it could still be her, she may just be scared. She could have just lied and is younger than she said and is trying to sound cool to impress me.

With these panicked thoughts raging through my body like wildfire, I blocked her from kik and began to ignore her emails. I forced myself to just disappear, so then I would have nothing to worry about. I cannot trust that Julia is really Julia, so I will just watch “her” occasional emails come in, analyzing from afar who “she” may be. I’ll search for her on Google and Facebook and Instagram and Students of the World and anywhere else I can look. The emails would keep coming for years and years, but they never held much content to them, and I’m still left to question who “Julia” is.

My Julia investigation was stalled for now, and the void of not having a constant penpal to talk to quickly came back. Therefore, my search to find the perfect best friend needed to be expedited since Julia was certainly not cut out for the position. I continued to search Students of the World with my new smartphone every chance I had. In between games at volleyball competitions, Hope and I could be found by the nearest outlet on my phone, scouring the website for the perfect answers within someone’s profile. We would send out messages together to the nerdy fangirls and fanboys around our age. Every day during the bus ride home from school, Jenna and I looked through the website on our phones, judging everyone’s biographies and pictures. Jenna created a profile too, and we would have three-way Skype sessions with Sylvia from France until the two of them became too close and stopped inviting me to Skype with them.

Finally in April of ninth grade, I received a promising email from a 16-year-old boy from France:

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

My name is Kristopher and Im from France !

I watched a few days ago Divergent and it made me want to read the books !

I see you like tv shows and video games as I do !

I am not fluent in English but I can talk to you !

If you want I can learn you French ! :)

Typically, I would spend about twenty minutes every day responding to emails from random penpals on my way home from school, but within the first three or so emails to a person, one of us would just stop responding. In regard to Kris, I generally liked video games, but I wasn’t obsessed with them, and I had a weird taste in TV, so we probably couldn’t talk about that much. But Divergent by Veronica Roth was my all-time favorite book. As soon as I read that word in the email, I knew I would be responding until he stopped responding to me. It had always been my goal to fall in love with a fanboy, especially one with the same taste in books and movies as me, so I immediately responded with:

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Hi Kristopher!

What part of France are you from? I live near Pittsburgh, PA, USA.

Yes, definitely read the books! They are amazing! I find myself gravitating towards video games and shows more than sports! :P

I don't know much of French as I take Spanish in school, but I'd love to learn some and help you with English as well!

Rebecca

He emailed me back within minutes, and we emailed for most of the evening, talking about books and food and the differences between the United States and France. That night though, my phone battery had died, and it was only for a few hours. After plugging it in, I found five unread messages from him, making sure I was okay.

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Lol it works ! :) Good courage to go back to school ! :)

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Hey sweetie 😆

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

How are you Miss ?

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Do You use words like ain't or gonna ? 😆

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Are you OK ?

As soon as I read these messages, my heart fluttered a little. This was just the beginning of our constant messaging and talking. I happily responded to him, and within days, Kris was my perfect, new best friend. The random space he left between the last word and the punctuation of a sentence would drive me insane, but I didn’t have the heart to explain the process to him. We talked so consistently that it would probably be considered unhealthy, discussing pets, family, being the youngest child, aspirations, atheism, languages, food, books, video games, and everything else under the sun. I was stuck to my phone all day, and every time I picked it up, I waited in anticipation for a notification with his name and the random spaces between his words and the punctuation.

The six-hour time difference between the two of us meant nothing, with him staying up late and me getting up early. Between classes, we would sneak each other messages about how our days were going. My week-long field trip to San Antonio, Texas was spent either messaging him or scouting out an outlet to plug my phone into so that I could talk to him. The more access I had to Kris, the further I distanced myself from my friends and family. When my phone would die or I wouldn’t have reception, I would look around, annoyed by whoever the people around me were. Kris was the perfect friend I always wanted; he was my best friend, and I was his. Neither of us needed anyone else, and hopefully, all of our talking and flirting would lead to love which would lead to marriage.

The summer before tenth grade came, and Kris seemed to be growing distant. Supposedly, he was travelling all summer, and he would rarely have access to wifi. I counted down the days until he would be back home, and after one measly conversation, he disappeared again. I sent message after message, finally receiving a response about his brother pushing him in the pool and his phone being in his pocket at the time, so it was destroyed. The summer seemed to be surrounded by disappointment, but hopefully when we went back to school, our relationship would continue to be as strong as it was before.

Tenth grade began, and Kris was still busy all the time. Apparently if he kept up his hard work, he would be valedictorian. Since I couldn’t spend lunch chatting with him anymore, I bragged that I was basically dating this amazing French guy who is valedictorian at his school. Until October hit, and then I would receive the dreadful message that he has a girlfriend. Ironically, this only made our conversation stronger than it had ever been, and he even picked out my new haircut, sending me endless compliments on it. The next day, he sent another message, explaining that his girlfriend didn’t want us talking anymore so it would probably be best if we just stopped. I was bad at listening to these directions, following this conversation up with many, many new messages in attempts to strike a conversation with him again. These messages earned me a nice block from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat.

My only method of contact would now be email, so night after night instead of stalking Students of the World for new pen pals, I would send Kris emails. I now began to understand that feeling that I caused upon Julia, who may or may not have been Julia. Throughout October and November, I received a few responses that sounded like an automatic email reply, but one email in mid-November stood out, as it was one of the last ones I would receive from him.

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Hello Becca,

I did act stupid and didn’t answer your messages at all. When I emailed you first, I never thought our friendship would get that strong !

Guess what, there used to be a time I was really in love with you, but I haven’t dared say so … The one biggest reason was the 6000 km that stand between us ! You were the one I loved talking to ! So I talked to you and you never waited to answer and neither did I.

I don’t know, something went wrong, time changed, I’m sorry I haven’t answered you for long, this is all my bad. I wish I could go back to past to fix this.

This message will never ever be able to patch things up, but it (I hope ) will tell you that I never forgot you .

My mother would tell me time and time again that any type of relationship separated by physical distance would never work. I had never believed her, but after receiving this email, I understood. Why had I ever believed that the perfect friendship would be through time differences of at least five hours? These relationships do not automatically create a barrier of trust, often making it even harder to trust. There are always going to be worries about who that person is and what their intentions are. There is no safety net to keep you from being hurt or feeling pain. Once there is a roadblock within your barrier of communication, you cannot simply get it back after running into each other at Walmart or flashing them a fake smile as you pass them in the hallway at school. As soon as one person blocks the other or the number of unread emails increases substantially over months, that person is gone forever.

#penpals #love #lost love #memoir #longdistance #oops I fell in love with my penpal #those French boys

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jul-bilant · 6 years ago

Text

Prince!Seungcheol

prince seungcheol

he was always the buzz around the whole kingdom *i mean y wouldnt he?? have you sEEN the guy????*

he’s always going around town, supervising incase any dumbass decided to sell drugs around the block or smth

(he once caught one and he didnt kno seungcheol was the prince and offered him marijuana and got arrested bc of tht and bc seungcheol got offended lmao)

and whenever he passes by, theres always gonna be some thirstyass girls staring at him like

“oMF SAMANTHA ITS PRINCE SEUNGCHEOL”

“SHUT UP JESS HE’S GONNA HEAR YOU DIMWIT”

or like

*runs up to him* “cAN I BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND??”

and tbh seungcheol just deadass rejects her but like,,, politely bc pRINCE MANNERS

and thats why he has two bodyguards with him at all times outside the palace now

anyways;;; prince seungcheol’s rlly rlly rLLY polite and well-mannered

he’s also a smart boi like

8 yr old seungcheol can solve 10th grade algebra, write a whole 10+ paged essay abt cytology and find the cure for cancer

kidding lol *nOT*

but srsly, this boi is smarter than yo algebra teachers like bi h

and he’s also sort of leader-like, so people already know he’ll be a great king one day

but he also has a kind heart and cares for everyone he loves and the whole kingdom

a 5 yr old girl once tripped over a rock infront of him and he took her to a bench, bought a bandage and aided her scraped knee ;-;

you can tell im soft for seungcheol hhhh

anyways, he’s been stressing out for a while because his coronation as king is nearing and it’s in a few months since his father died a year ago

and he needs to find a suitable partner

thats where you come in

you’re a maid in the palace

the maids have a thing where they check on seungcheol every two or three hours to see if he’s hungry, needs smth, or anything like tht

and this time, you were assigned to check on him

tbh you’ve never been assigned because it’s always the head maid that checks on him or that one maid thats always been the head maid’s fave

but not today

it was 10 pm and you went to see if seungcheol needed anything so you go to his study room

but before you knock, you hear something from inside his study room

it sounds like crying

and you know for a fact that thats seungcheol’s voice thats crying

you were at a loss of what to do, so it took you a while to do anything, but you decided to go down and tell the chefs that he was hungry just so you could bring him his favourite food to cheer him up

when you went back to the study room, you knocked

but he didn’t answer

it was quiet now, no more sobbing

so you opened the door

and saw seungcheol with his head down on the desk

you quietly wheeled the food towards his study table and put the tray on the other desk near the couch

you carefully approached seungcheol out of curiosity

his cheeks were stained with dried tears, but other than that, he still looked as handsome as ever

you grew concerned and took of the blankets from the bigass closet near the prince’s room and draped it over him

i mean, you were already there so why not lol

the next morning, seungcheol awoke to the smell food and a blanket around him

he grew confused but shrugged it off, he expected one of the maids to do these things

but he smiled knowing someone cares

meanwhile, the head maid came up to you and told you that you’ll be the maid who’ll regularly check up on seungcheol from now on since she was, quote-on-quote, “busy”, and her favourite maid had to retire for god knows what

you didn’t know why but you felt a sense of happiness and anxiety at the same time

so in the afternoon, you go to check on seungcheol as he’s in the study room, sorting out papers

when you enter the room after knocking, seungcheol kinda stares at you

not in the bad, offending way, nah m8

but like

‘holy shit this woman looks better than a grilled cheese sandwich’

which roughly translates to “prince seungcheol is making googly-eyes at maid y/n” ty v much

and he blushed a bit but hid it well when you approached him

“good afternoon, prince seungcheol.. i am maid y/n, i’ll be the new maid who’ll check on you from time to time from now on..” you inform him

he smiles

s m i l e s

“thank you for informing me, miss y/n,” he replied

“may i ask you a small favor?”

you were like

‘w8 boi whut-’

but you just replied with an “ok”

“please tell the maid who draped a blanket over me and brought me food last night 'thank you’, and tell her it’s from me.” he smiled

you contemplated on telling him whether or not it was you,

which would be odd for other people, since they would of cOURSE take the chance and say that they did

but you had a sense of not taking credibility in most cases bc you like being humble and shiet so you nod and telling him you’ll inform her

“thank you, it means a lot to me..” seungcheol smiles

a few months after, you hear his royal adviser, which no one rlly likes tbh (tht includes seungcheol), scolding him because he has yet to find a partner

so you go check on him in his bedroom after knocking, and he let you in

you two had, undoubtedly, grown close

which is weird bc he doesnt really make friends w/ workers in the palace, much less be best friends with them

but thats what happened

he basically tells you everything from his dreams, to when his father passed, to how his cat scratched the curtain of the theatre room and etc.

so naturally, you started liking him

but of course, why’d the prince like a maid like you????

yall were just best friends

(like any other ff pfft)

you sat down on his bed, a concerned look on your face as he was on the verge of tears

“whats wrong?” you asked, even if you already knew what dampened his mood

“Mr. Song is pressuring me into getting married again, but this time he told me other things..”

you watch as a tear or two falls from his eyes

its really painful to watch him cry

“its okay… you dont have to tell me if you dont want to..” you reassured seungcheol but he just shakes his head

“no.. i think you deserve to know”

and he told you about how his adviser called him a worthless prince for not being able to even court a girl, telling him that if he was this indecisive, the kingdom would fall, and other hurtful things like that

at this point, he was crying the whole waterfall somewhere in the deep woods near the kingdom

“cheol.. i’m sorry you had to endure that…”

without thinking, you gently pulled him into your arms, pulling him into a warm hug

both of you were surprised, but didn’t waver away from the hug

for a second you thought 'omf why the fu c k did i do that’

but you just shook the thought away, telling yourself that your best friend is in emotional pain and you did that for moral support

(which wasnt the only reason but you wanted to deny the others hhh)

but seungcheol on the other hand was lo si n g his shit

on the inside, of course

he’s like 'omg omg omg she’s hugging me mOM-’

but thats where it dawned on him

he likes you

the next day, you knocked on the door of his study room

but it was silent, just like that one night when he cried himself to sleep

so you opened the door,

but he wasnt there

you panicked a little, thinking about where on palace grounds he couldve gone to

so you checked his bedroom, the kitchen, the theatre room, the throne room, the royal gardens, everywhere

but aside from finding his cat scratching the theatre room curtains, they were all empty

you asked the head maid where he was and she answered you with a shocked expression before replying

“you mean to tell me you didn’t know he was in the neighboring kingdom, meeting up with his arranged fiancee?”

fiancee

arranged or not, it still hurt to know that he was with the woman who he was going to marry

and that was not you

the head maid gave you the day off, since seungcheol wasnt here for the day

you dressed casually, a white, plain, sleeveless dress that goes to your knees, instead of the regular, convervative, longsleeved maid uniform you were obliged to wear when you had work

you took a walk around the palace grounds, eventaully stopping when you reach the rooftop balcony

the moon was already making an appearance, the night ready to take over the sky

you stay there for the time being, finding the night sky, stars and a few blobs of clouds enticing to the human eye

moments later, you find yourself holding back tears

you let out a few stray tears drip down your cheeks as you sniff, not bothering to wipe them away

you were surprised when a blanket was wrapped around you, and a familiar pair of arms pulling into a hug

“its cold, you shouldn’t be out here at this ti- ….why are you crying?” you heard him voice out the last part in a soft whisper, contrasting his normal tone of speech like how he talked a few moments ago

“n-nothing… its dumb..” you tell him, dismissively

but he wasnt having it

“come on, i’ll listen to you.. tell me whats bothering you to the point where you’re crying..” seungcheol wiped a few of your tears away

“i’ll be fine, cheol.. and.. aren’t you supposed to be in the neighboring kingdom until tomorrow?..” you asked

“yes.. but there was no reason to stay if i rejected the marriage.”

what

w h a t

“you- what?!” you turned to him, dumbfounded

he chuckled

“yeah, i rejected the marriage. i have my eyes on another girl..” he confessed, not breaking the eye contact you both shared

“…quite literally..” he grinned

“she was there for me through everything, comforted me at the toughest of times, and brought me food and a blanket when i fell asleep at my study room..”

so he knew

you blushed, knowing exactly what he meant

he approached you slowly, and once he had you in his field of reach, he cupped your face and pulled you closer to him

“would you…” he paused

“…marry me?”

you smiled a gentle, assuring smile

“..of course.”

and in a fit of smiles and small laughs, seungcheol kissed you

#seventeen #imagines #scenarios #prince!au #seungcheol #s.coups #fluff #royal!au #royalty!au #choi seungcheol

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terramythos · 6 years ago

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My thoughts on October Daye #12 “Night and Silence” oooor “Dammit, Janet!” (suggestion courtesy of @mistressofmuses ).

And with this I am officially all caught up! Well, I haven’t read all the novellas and short stories, but caught up on the main series. Now I have to wait for #13 this year like a normal person! Gah!

-So, leading off from all the horrible shit that happened last book, things aren't going.. great.

-You know that intense, extreme trauma 2 members of the main cast experienced @ the end of last book? Yeah that. Didnt go away

-There's a line about how Tybalt keeps seeing Toby as her mother Amandine... the person who kidnapped and basically tortured him last book. And he's basically terrified of shapeshifting at all and has just stayed in his humanoid form. And he's refusing help from anyone and disappearing for long stretches. And maybe going just a little bit Fuckening Crazy. G-great start, guys!

-And there's a flashback where he's just MEAN and like you can understand why but MAJOR YIKES and also pain.

Ok unexpected May feels ;-;

-Gillian Is Missing Again but I have a feeling this is not gonna be much of a retread...

-And.. boy this sure is a callback huh? May and Quentin being the found family, Gillian is missing, Tybalt is antagonistic...

-ok Jocelyn is a creepy fangirl character

-ok I'm 5 chapters in and wondering where this is going. Apparently there's Quite The Twist in this one or at least that's what I suspect is going to happen

-oooohkay they find like this weird pocket dimension with like. A miniature house that is also a chicken (and no one even mentions Baba Yaga). And idk what it is about the scene but it is fucking eerie and creepy as hell somehow.

Shade appeared in like book 6 as a Literal Cat so.. here she is showing up and being relevant for 5 minutes

-but what the FUCK is with this place. I got nothing and that exposition just raises more questions. There's no magic scent at all (except MAYBE cinammon), a bunch of rare fucking plants, and a fucking miniature baba yaga hut just wandering around

-that opens another rabbit hole because Golden Gate Park is ALSO completely unclaimed for no particular reason 🤔

This might be a waste of picture and might get deleted later but like, that's fucking creepy, right???

-god I know there HAS to be someone with cinnamon in their magical signature who we've MET but... it's been 12 books, dog. I dont fuckin remember

-The closest I can think is Simon with "mulled cider" because that's cinnamony... BUT it's pretty unlikely he did this, and that part of his magical signature is PRE corruption and we have the corrupted version running around.

-We just found a SECOND creepy unexplainable house hidden in plain sight so that's starting to feel Thematic.

-And she smells the false Queen's magic in this house :) someone supposedly asleep for 100 years in Silences. So that's great.

-Aaand there's Gillain! Not even halfway through the book. Way too easy.

-It's not Gillian. It's a Baoban Sith which is apparently *googling* a.. vampire. Ok

-My crack theory is pretty much dead in the water lol

There's more than this bit but ;---; fuck dude

-But yeah! After a book and a half of hiatus, Tybalt's back! A little.. broken and suffering from severe PTSD, but you know.

-They go to Goldengreen based on a hint and Marcia is there baking cinnamon rolls. It really stresses the fact that she's making cinnamon rolls.

UM.

-.... holy shit.

-Ok. Ok ok. Assuming that's the truth that means Amandine's mother was.. a human? Making her a fucking CHANGELING Firstborn? What the fuuuuuck

-Oh that is fucking hysterical with what a fucking blood purist Amandine is. She looks down upon changelings and the beast races SO MUCH. Janet implies Amandine has no idea her mother was human, or at least never knew Janet. I'd bet she figured out she was part human because the Dochas Sidhe's whole deal is messing with one's heritage for fun results. Gosh. Hmm.

-And this mirrors everyone hiding October's heritage from her BEAUTIFULLY.

-I don't remember quite when "Miranda" was introduced but it was pretty early on. And now that I think of it there was NO REASON for her to fucking exist! What the fuck! The story would have made just as much sense with Cliff being a single dad raising Gillian. Miranda was just an antagonistic extra detail who didn’t... really do much. God damn it.

-Cliff “accidentally” marrying Toby's maternal grandmother who is somehow Human and also like, alive, in order to help raise Toby's daughter is. Fucking Something, huh.

Oh lore??? (Oberon, King of Faerie, kinda a nice guy it turns out, accidentally knocks up a human. Uh... whoops?)

-Fuck dude, that was the blood memory flashback we had in book 9. The Luidaeg begging her mom not to leave on The Ride. Oof.

-So Janet is, yes indeed human and YES INDEED Toby’s grandmother. She’s cursed with immortality because of all that shit she pulled.

-And BOY does that lore regarding Janet make the whole "Amandine was doted on and given everything she ever asked for" make sense cause... THAT'S WHAT THEY DID WITH HUMANS. And here we have a fucking FIRSTBORN born from a fucking HUMAN. Gosh. Jeez.

-and Katy pointed out to me that that's a big book 3 reference because Toby's family holds her down when THEY try to remove her from Blind Michael's version of the Ride, and SHE wildly shapeshifts through dozens of forms.It was a Tam Lin retelling only I don’t think I ever expected the actual thing to be relevant.

-And FUCK Evening/Eira, by the way. I think that goes without saying at this point.

-So is Blind Michael's Ride supposed to be a replacement of the old one? 500 years ago the fae used The Ride to sacrifice a human every 7 years--until Tam Lin and Janet fucked it up. Fast forward to the present and we had Blind Michael showing up every couple years stealing children for what HE called The Ride.

-soooo Toby killing Blind Michael might have not been a great thing if you follow that line of reasoning. I mean, he was a fucking monster, BUT... Because The Ride is supposedly to maintain balance, hence the sacrifices. Whatever the fuck that ultimately means. And by stopping it...

-Add that on to all the stuff last book about how Blind Michael wasn't always such a shitty person, and... uh hmmm.

-OK this part might be a stretch but: the Dochas Sidhe are the only descendants we know of that are just... one hundred percent descended from one of the Three. The human part is largely irrelevant in fae terms. They’re directly Oberon’s, not some mix of Maeve/Oberon or Titania/Oberon. Would that mean Oberon is actually Dochas Sidhe? He did, after all, create the hope chests, and the Dochas Sidhe are literally living, breathing hope chests. IDK MAN.

Tybalt, PLEASE.

-So it is, predictably, the false Queen behind this whole situation, helped by Jocelyn. And I just FUCKING REMEMBERED that it was that dickbag Dugan who had cinnamon in his magical signature .-.

-The Baoban Sith just be like "yeah sorry about almost eating you I uh straight up hadn't eaten in 40 years lol. Anyway I'm Kennis, what's up?"

OH FUCK! I FUCKING *CALLED* THIS SHIT OUT IN BOOK SIX! I remember it being mentioned offhand as something that could happen. I fucking KNEW we were going to turn a character into a Selkie for plot reasons. But I gotta say I didn't expect it to be Gillian!

FUCK DUDE ;___; in this house we stan The Luidaeg. Best character. I'm not crying. (I am.)

-She has a line a few pages later about anxiety and catastrophic thinking, and how what you THINK will happen is never as bad as what actually happens. She compares it to "chasing the tide" and honestly that's such a useful metaphor, as someone often caught in that trap...

-They take down Dugan, yay, he was a loose end. He's not DEAD, but.. This is another one where the villain felt pretty secondary to the big plot revelations.

-And Tybalt stepped down (temporarily) as King. Jolgeir's daughter is apparently going to temporarily take things over so I expect we will be introduced to her later??

---

-And, like the last few books, theres a novella epilogue at the end. This one is "Suffer a Sea-Change" and looks to be from Gillian's perspective.

-ok so Gillian has this whole scene where she TALKS to Firtha (whose skin she's wearing now) and I can't help but wonder if all selkies have this weird scene with the Roane whose skin they inherit when they ascend or whatever?

-The Answer Is "No", The Story Explicitly Says

-Gillian is honestly pretty funny. She's up to here with this bullshit.

-The Luidaeg would like to remind everyone that she’s nice to October and Quentin but she’s not actually all that nice to most other people and Definitely Has Her Own Agenda. Although she seems to have taken in Poppy as an apprentice of sorts so... *vague shrugging*

-And The Luidaeg speaking fondly about her "little brother Michael" who liked interior decorating despite being entirely blind. This is my uncomfortable face based on all my Analysis earlier.

-So Gillian is a Selkie now! That's not a twist I expected. And the next book (not out until September) is about The Luidaeg finally calling in their debts. So uh. That was one hell of a way to make the stakes personal on that.

-Im probably gonna make a master post overview of the series now that I read the whole thing in relatively short order. I'm glad I'll have a chance to read other books, but I'm anxious for the next one too based on the recent developments...

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httpbaejins · 7 years ago

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out of reach | lee daehwi

“You literally had more chance than anyone else!”

Characters: Lee Daehwi x nameless OC x Bae Jinyoung Genre: Fluff ?? Slightly angsty, i think ?? + Reverse Idol!AU + School President!Daehwi :)) Words count: 1948 A/N: Its almost 2am and im editing this omg pray for my soul lol. anyway, @princehwii said they’d like to see me write about daehwi. its been fun hehe but im sorry if u dont like it :( leave feedback? thank you!

"Look! Look it's her!"

Daehwi turned his head immidiately, his eyes gazing at the girl his best friend Jinyoung pointed at. It was her, looking so beautiful like she usually is. Daehwi didn't seem like the only person who think that way, knowing that the whole classroom was staring at the same person the moment she took a step in.

"Uh, guys?" she asked nervously, showing confusion on her expression. "I'm ... uncomfortable? Please don't stare like that."

And just like that, half of the students in the classroom turned their heads away, going back to do whatever they were doing before she showed up.

But Daehwi still froze in his spot, eyes following her movement as if she was a butterfly flying around flowers. These days, whenever he saw her, he couldn't believe it was real. she was such a dream, so beautiful yet so out of reach for someone like him. so impossible, it hurt.

"What a whip," Jinyoung snickered, trying to get Daehwi's attention back. "Mr. President, please be more subtle about your crush next time. You literally have the heart eyes right now."

Daehwi turned his head away, too embarassed to continue staring nor to look at his best friend who was smirking as if he just won a bet. Daehwi tried to get his heartbeat pace to go back to normal, before acting like nothing happened, as if he didn't just stared at a girl like she was a fallen angel.

Daehwi had been so hopeless about his crush. He had been watching her from afar since middle school, but never actually brave enough to start a conversation with the girl. Sure, they have spoken to one another especially because they have been seeing each other for quite a long time, but they never actually had a real conversation together.

As if she wasn't out of reach enough, Daehwi was still shaken at the fact that she debuted.

Yes, she apparently had been training to be an idol and she got what she deserves. It crushed Daehwi's hope to actually be with her. He hadn't even make his move yet but she was drifting away from him, so far away that he couldn't reach her. She was thrown under the spotlights on stage, when Daehwi remained one of the crowds, silently being one of those who had always been there even when she's still struggling to stand on stage.

Daehwi was getting busier, slowly getting suffocated with life as he got selected to be the school president. That way, he got to talk to her more, notifying her if there's anything she needed to know as a student, but of course he had always been scared to start a casual talk with her. his best friend Jinyoung had push him many times but he wouldn't do it. Some other days, Jinyoung had to be the one who notify the girl because Daehwi just couldn't do it.

But Jinyoung, being the charming school prince who got everyone's drooling over him, do it too easily as if it was nothing. Sometimes even threw some jokes and accidentally start an actual conversation, while Daehwi, silently boiling on the other side, jealous of his best friend's ability.

It wasn't actually that hard. She's a nice person. Daehwi was just scared.

"You're the dumbest dumbass there ever was," Jinyoung clicked his tongue. "You literally had more chances than anyone else! And you let them pass, because you're too scared."

"Seriously, shut up," Daehwi glared at him. "I didn't ask to be insulted."

"It wasn't an insult, it was fact." Jinyoung argued, chuckling at his own words.

"Like you're any better."

"Hey, of course, I am! I have a girlfriend!"

Yeah, of course.

"That doesn't prove anything, asshole," Daehwi glared again at his best friend, while Jinyoung, being himself, wasn't exactly subtle about holding his giggles seeing Daehwi angry.

They had been best friends since they were little, and Jinyoung had always been more likable than Daehwi thought he was. Jinyoung had always have more friends, but Daehwi had always been smarter. It was as if Jinyoung had been born as a prince. And now that they're in the second year of high school, the prince disease was starting to infect him.

Time passed by really slowly that day. Daehwi was excused to be absent in physical education to have a talk with the homeroom teacher. Jinyoung was making jokes during lessons so many times, trying to drag Daehwi along so that people would notice the poor president more, but he just wasn't having it. Thinking of the school council meeting after the school ends that day put him in a bad mood.

"President, you're eating lunch?" Jinyoung asked. He got so used to call Daehwi that after his best friend won the school election. Rubbing off the fact to everyone's face that he's the school president's best friend sounds like something Jinyoung would definitely do.

"I don't think so," Daehwi shook his head slowly after thinking for a few seconds, too tired to tell Jinyoung that he didn't want Jinyoung to keep calling him president.

"Who are you meeting up with? Tell them not to see you when it's time to eat," Jinyoung scolded.

Daehwi shook his head again. "I'm not meeting up with anyone. I'm just not eating this time."

Jinyoung wanted to ask further, but something seemed really off that Jinyoung was kind of scared his best friend would start being angry for real. Daehwi would probably end up being in the library reading books or doing homework anyway, so Jinyoung let this one slide.

"Okay, then I’ll just, uh ... see you later?" Jinyoung asked, tidying up his books.

"Sure."

"One more thing. Do you have meetings after school today or not?"

"Yeah, I do. You can go home without me," Daehwi answered.

"That's unfortunate. Mom said she's going to pick me up and asked you to come along," Jinyoung frowned. "Alright, I'll see you later, Dae. Don't forget to eat also."

And just like that, Jinyoung left.

Daehwi was actually really thankful to have a best friend like Jinyoung who sticks with him through thick and thin and actually care. Jinyoung could've just left Daehwi alone and hang out with the kids who are more like him; good-looking and popular. Sure, Jinyoung annoyed Daehwi sometimes but Daehwi couldn't bring himself to be really angry towards the guy. Jinyoung knew this and that's exactly why he kept annoying the school president.

Then there Daehwi was, in the school rooftop, listening to music while looking down at the sight below. The sight of the busy town welcomed him, seeming to be crowded and suffocating just like his mind.

"Thinking about something?" a voice asked from behind. "Uh ..., President?"

Daehwi immidiately turned around, but then he felt like his eyes were fooling him.

She stood there, smiling and walking towards him. She then stood next to him, joining him looking at the town below, still smiling.

Jinyoung's words replayed through his head.

"You're the dumbest dumbass there ever was. You literally had more chances than anyone else! And you let them pass, because you're too scared."

Let's not be a dumbass this time, Lee Daehwi.

"What are you up to, pres?" she asked again.

"Uhm, uh, no-nothing," Daehwi sighed. His mind was working harder, trying not to be the usual Lee Daehwi. Trying not to be boring and awkward. "It's just that ... the cafeteria, uh, the cafeteria has too many people in it."

"Oooohh, you need fresh air?" she asked, chuckling, finding Daehwi cute.

Daehwi nodded, lowkey cursing to himself.

"Literally same," she mumbled back. "It's just ... tiring to be around people too much. Some of them are toxic."

Daehwi usually would just listen, but this time he wanted to get the conversation going. "Yeah, um, must be so tiring for you. You know, you're around people ... almost everytime."

"Right," she sighed. "This is so tiring. I want rest. but I'm actually happy doing it. What about you ..., President?"

"I think you talk to Jinyoung too much," Daehwi said bitterly. "His girlfriend wouldn't like this. And I know he almost never use my name when referring to me. And that's dumb, because my name is so much simpler."

She giggled. "Daehwi! Why are you salty about that?" she hit Daehwi's arm playfully. "Yeah actually I liked him back in middle school but he was too annoying so that ticked me off. And his girlfriend is nice but kind of intimidates me so i better back off."

"Wow. Someone intimidates you?"

"Yeah, Of course. you did too," she admitted, winking at him. "You're just so smart and all, and you seem so perfect. I mean, to be very honest here, you're good-looking and--"

Daehwi's eyes widened. "You think I’m good-looking?"

"Do you not think you are?" she asked back, seeming shocked. "What the hell. Here I thought you can make it to magazine covers. You're dumb to think you aren't."

God, is this real?

"You're joking." Daehwi stated.

"I won't force you to believe it either. I know already that you're this dumb," she giggled.

"You sound like Jinyoung."

She laughed. i know, oh my God. To be honest, I know so much about you more than you think I’ll ever do. Oh my God, sorry that sounds creepy. I swear I'm not into weird things, it's just ...," she bit her lower lip, unsure. “I've been meaning to say this, but ... you remember last year, for like, three weeks straight there were uh, notes under your desk? Sometimes even ... chocolate? Candies? Even coffee? Well ... I did that."

Wait, what?

Daehwi's eyes widened, staring at her in disbelief. "You're joking."

"No. Jinyoung caught me once but I made him swore on his mother's life that he wouldn't tell you. That was ... oh my God, I’m embarassed," she put her face on her palms, and Daehwi could literally see that she was blushing. "I ... I liked you back then."

Jinyoung's words replayed again. "You literally had more chances than anyone else!"

Daehwi was too shook that he froze for a moment. He remembered those notes, the notes which helped him to get through the day and Jinyoung just wouldn't stop teasing him about this secret admirer.

"Not anymore?" Daehwi asked.

The girl giggled. "Honestly, if not anymore, I wouldn't be embarassed to admit it just like how I admitted I liked Jinyoung. But, uh ... you see ... these days the situation is hard for me to actually like someone, so, uh ...," she gulped. "I'll get over it. Haha."

It was weird. She was the one being nervous. Daehwi couldn't believe it. Was he dreaming? Were his senses deceiving him? Was this really happening?

He couldn't think straight. This really was happening. His heart was beating so fast and it felt like its going to burst. But then he gulped his nervousness down, finally deciding to spill the truth.

"I ... I think I have something to tell you too," Daehwi confessed. "I liked you ... and I still do."

What surprised him was when she replied, "I know that too."

#lee daehwi #wanna one #wanna one scenarios #kpop fluff #daehwi angst

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pajnloki · 4 years ago

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8 // One year

Uhm hi.

Has it been a year already, lol? I know, little me. I have been neglecting this blog for quite some time now and honestly I knew that. I just didn’t want to face reality.. my reality by writing things down: my problems, regrets, insecurities all of them. It felt disgusting just aknowledging them so I avoided confrontation. But hey, in my defense, covid has been going on the whole year and 2020 was a big fat mess. So many things happened, changed, escalated and barely had the time and energy and strength to face all those problems and changes.

2020 was gonna be THE year, i said. So many times. Trying to tell myself that there’s no need to be scared. No need to back down, because everyone goes through high school graduation, university, adulthood. It’s completely normal to panic a bit because in the end you’re gonna manage. You’re capable of so many great things. I told myself, or rather lied to myself? I don’t even know at this point. 2020 was memorable. Yes. But in a good way? aboslutely not! :’) And just a short disclaimer. I know how damn serious the virus is, but let me just rant about my life for once, because it’s hard on me, too.

Schools just suddenly closed down 2 weeks before my graduation. My friends and my whole grade in general did not get to experience the legendary “last week” where we’d prank the whole school. Everyone before us did, though. Pretty unfair. I mean we went to school for so many years and that was gonna be our HIGHLIGHT! Marking our GRADUATION. Making epic MEMORIES. Well, fuck that, I guess. Didn’t happen! :D Instead, we got 1 month quarantine where we had to study for finals. For unsure finals. For “we don’t know if you have to take exam yet” - finals. But we had to study, study for finals that may not even happen. That were some horrible ass weeks of studying, crying, panicking, stressing out, questioning myself, more crying and a lot of anime, lmao. And then it was May and I took my exams and I did pretty okay-ish. It wasn’t the best I could’ve done but I mean, considering the situation back then and how lazy I really am, it was okay. At least, for me... kind of? Honestly speaking, I knew it was bad. My grades used to be GREAT but now they were just good but for my parents that meant failed. And did they not hide their disappointed in that, no. They actually went ahead and told me in my face how absolute horrible my finale grades were and that theyre absolutely not satisfied with them. Thanks, mom. It’s not like I didn’t know that. Sorry for not being able to go into Med school like U wished. But it was hard on me, too. Comparing myself to my friends who despite this damn situation still managed to get the perfect score in every damn subject. Am I even allowed to use the pandemic as an excuse or is it really just me who sucks at everything. It’s not like not being able to go outside without mask and 1.5m social distancing was helping me in any way. It’s not like the constans pressure of my parents wasn’t enough. If not Med School, then Law, they said. And funny enough, I could’ve gone there but then suddenly remembered how I applied to Psych School in December 2019, whoops. Why, you ask? Because my mom already pressured me into looking up universities in goddamn 2019 and so I went ahead and applied to a school in aneighboring country, because going as far as possible was basically the aim. Psych was never my dream, I mean yeah, it’s super interesting (and spoiler: I am enjoying studying it a lot.) but I never actually considered a profession in that area. Not because I didn’t see myself there, but I didn’t see myself ANYWHERE at all. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I had no passions, goals or dreams. Sounds sad, but the Internet assured me, I wasn’t only one so thumbs up to us guys. Anyway, so I applied to that University and in the middle of finals I got accepted, suprisingly! Didn’t expect that and for sure didn’t remember that LMAO. I told my parents and they were not pleased. My dad couldn’t understand why I wanted to study Psychology ??? The fuck u wanna do with that, he asked. And I didn’t know what to answer, because hell no, I don’t know, bro. I just applied to move out from home. Fun fact: my household is not that toxic, just stereotypical asian strict parents who love the idea of med school a little too much. But I still went there, even if they disagreed but I mean they cannot change the fact that my grades weren’t good enough for med school, and even if could’ve gone to Law school, I DECLINED. 100% sure I’m not made to defend anyone in court. Probably woulda start crying or something..

And so I graduated, had a weird graduation ceremony in our P.E hall (?? idek lmao) and went to university 2 months later in september. Funny story. LMAO. Seriously, things happened in such a fast pace that I wasn’t able to properly accept the fact that I am no longer a high school student, and just started my new path?!?!?!?! Wtf?? stop!? Months and Months went by and I was emersed in studying and exams and deadlines. And all of that online. Via Zoom. Great. Nice University student life. No parties, no real life lectures, no making friends in the cafeteria or any sort of actual experiences like those. Great. Second lockdown, and third lockdown - oh there’s a vaccine! Yey! Oh no, wait. There are mutation of the virus. Not great. :’) And that my friends was 2020. The year I turned 18. What a wonderful start into adulthood <3

And now, it’s already 2021. And tomorrow I turn 19. And im fucking scared. And sad. 1. Scared because I don’t wanna age and become old and knowing i havent accomplished one single thing in life and instead rather than turning 19 i turned into a failure and 2. Sad because I’m 18, do not have a drivers license, never went clubbing for adults, graduated in the most disgusting and sad way possible (and most unmemorable way i dont even wanna think about that musty gymnasiums hall lmao) and pretty much did nothing cool in my 18th life and thats just how my young adult life’s gonna be! :DDD nice guys.

Ok, this sounds pretty depressive and petty and sad and lowkey annoying but idk how i am supposed to sugarcoat that.... if i find a way, i’ll come back but until then, stay safe

#pajnapple8

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taeyangdyb · 8 years ago

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♡Giving love a shot part 52♡

♡Jae’s views♡

Jae: Look whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.

Jay: don’t laugh, are we going to stop having sex now?

Jae:*lol* what kind of question is that?

Jay: I told you not to laugh

Jae: what kind of question is this though?

Jay: well Gray and Byul isn’t doing it

Jae: We’re not Gray and Byul. I’m sure our sex life is much more fun then theirs. Besides Byul’s stomach is getting bigger that’s probably why it might be uncomfortable…if she’s on the bottom

Jay: so we can still do it?

Jae: why?

Jay: just checking. What about when your stomach gets big?

Jae:*brushes his hair back* we’ll find way

Jay: that should be fun

Jae: You being on top, all big and stuff

Jae: hey, you’re mean

Jay: but I know you’ll be the sexiest pregnant woman ever.

Jae: you think so?

Jay: I know so. But to tell you the truth, I think we’ll Still be smashing even when we’re 50 years old

Jae: can you open this bottle for me, you talk too much shit *hands him a water*

Jay:*open the water and hands it to her* we gonna be having sex even in the nursing home. As long as my d*ck can go up we f*cking

Jae:*spits out her water* BAABE!!

Jay: what?

Jae: You horny?

Jay: as hell

Jae: you’re horrible

Jay: how?

Jae: you gonna be a father, and you mouth is that dirty?

Jay: how is it dirty? And besides it’s not like they’re here yet *parking the car, walks out in open the door for Gajeel, and her* so what are we doing tonight?

Jae: not sleeping with you

Gajeel:*runs in the house*

Jay: come on babe, it’s been-

Jae: I know how long it’s, but I have plans tomorrow

I know it’s mean but I really wanted to sleep. The next morning he was in his feelings

Jae: *lay on top of him* good morning

Jay: ….morning

Jae: You okay?

Jay: I’m fine

Jae: you look fine but you don’t sound like it. What are you doing today?

Jay: nothing going to Q’ s party

Jae: have fun

Jay: You?

Jae: I have a few papers to sign and then I’m taking Joon and Eric somewhere. Have fun

Jay: you’re not going?

Jae: idk if I’m too tired I’ll come straight here.

After getting ready I head out. The day went by rather quickly. I did everything I had to do now I’m just going to slide by the party.

Walking in I feel so under dress wearing a white polka dotted shirt, white jeans, and a black stiletto bootie. I spot Jay where he sit with his friends and of course, this girl who’s been crushing on him for the longest.

The minute I got there, the mood changes, for the better for some and worst for others.

Jae: hey babe, hi guys

Jay: hey

Q: Mrs.Park

Jae: how’s it going?

Q: good, I see you still look beautiful as always

Jae: awe thank you

Jay: you want something to eat?

Jae: no

Jay: drink?

Jae: what are you drinking?

Jay: beer, I’ll get you a water *walks off*

Jae: okay

Simon: so how’s everything? How is he?

Jae: he’s a bit more overprotective.

Loco: more than he was before?

Jae: yup, it gets annoying at times, but I still think it’s cute.

Simon: you scared?

Jae: like crazy

Simon: how did you feel, finding out?

Jae: a hundred thoughts went through my mind, the more I think about it the more I get scared.

Jay: here*hands her a water*

Jae: thanks *gets off of his chair*

Jay: you can sit

Jae: what about You?

Jay: i’ll just stand

Jae: I’ll just sit on you

At this point we are all comfortable with each other, the others don’t mind or care that I’m sitting on Jay’s lap. Or maybe they use to seeing it over the years.

*Jay and Jae in their own little world, and so does everyone else*

Jae: you still mad at me?

Jay:*wraps his arms around her belly* of course not. How was your day?

Jae: tired

Jay: why didn’t you go home?

Jae: I missed you

Jay: awe baby you could’ve called me

Jae: I wanted to see you

Jay: video call

Jae: I wanted to feel you holding on to me like that

Jay: you could’ve told me that on the phone, I was going to meet you half way

Jae: that’s fine *shivers*

Jay: you cold?

Jae: no

Jay: babe?

Jae: a little

Jay: you want to go home?

Jae: I want to stay with you

Jay: Jaeha if you’re tired there’s need for you to be here.

Jae: you want me to leave?

Jay: yes

Jae: okay *frees herself from him*

Jay: babe- I didn’t mean it like that

Jae: I’ll see you later *walks out*

Jay: Jaejae-

*Jay’s views*

I’m not sure why, but Jaeha has been a bit sensitive. For some reasons any little things sets her off.

I made it home 3hours later, and she was already in bed.

Next morning is awkward, because she doesn’t even want to talk to me.

*Breakfast*

Jay: how was your night?

Jae: fine

Jay: are you feeling alright?

Jae: clearly, since I’m sitting here

Jay: hey I’m just trying to talk, no need to be catching an attitude with me

Jae: im done eating *walks back to their room*

Jay: *follows her* hey, what is wrong with you?

Jae: does it look like anything’s wrong with me?

Jay: yea, SINCE YOU THROWING TANTRUMS LIKE A FREAKING KID, SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG WITH YOU.

Jae:*walks in the bathroom and slams the door*

That escalated quickly.

Jay:*sits on the floor*

4o minutes later she came out all showered

Jay: bae I’m sorr-

Jae: *walks in her closet/dressing room and locks the door*

Jay:*sigh*

Another hour passes and she’s still in there. The only thing she doesn’t have in there is a shower, who knows how long that’s gonna take.

After getting ready she took her thing and walk out without even saying anything to me.

Jay: you going out?

Jae:…

Jay: look I shouldn’t have yelled at you I’m sorry.

Jae:… *walks in the closet and grab a purse and transfers everything from one to another, ignoring him*

Jay: JAEHA!

Jae: WHAT?!

Jay: I’m sorry

Jae: good for you *takes her purse out the door*

*hours later*

I’ve been calling her all day literally no answer. I know for a fact that she has he phone in her bag.

As usual everyone plans to meet up somewhere, I’m sure we all can guess where that is.

*coffee shop*

Because a lot of us as been friends for so long, when we plan to meet up, we’ll need more than one table.

Jay: hey guys

All:*greeted each other*

Byul: where’s Jaeha?

Jay: she went out

Mark: how is she?

Jay: good

Joon: and the baby?

Jay: fine..i guess?

Mark: what you mean you guess? What did the doctor said?

Jay: what- wait I’m lost

Mark: Jaejae has a doctor’s appointment today

Jay: I didnt know that

Mark: oh great

*2ominutes later*

Jae: hello all you little people *mood changes as soon as she see her husband*

Mark: where’d you go?

Jae: shopping, race track and-

Joon: you did what?

Jae: I went to the race-

Mark: Jaejae-

Jae: Mark let’s not have this conversation okay *sits next to Byul* Hey how you feeling?

Byul: like a beach ball

Jae: a cute one

Ailee: when are you fixing your nursery room?

Jae: as soon as I find out what I’m having.

Ailee: when’s your appointment?

Jae: I had one today

Yori: and how’d it go?

Jae: rescheduled

Ailee: why?

Jae: didn’t feel like going, I was not in the mood for things like that

Joon: what you mean things like that?

Byul: please tell me you’re joking?

Jae: I was not in the mood for that

Byul: Jaejae you’re pregnant going to the hospital is a must. When’s your next appointment?

Jae: next week

Ailee: why didn’t you put it for tomorrow?

Jae: I don’t think I’m gonna be in the mood for that tomorrow

She’s kidding right? As if things weren’t awkward enough, this one come out of nowhere.

Lina: hey Jay

Jay: hey

Lina: thanks for the ride last night

Jay: you’re welcome

Lina: mind if I sit?

Jay: uh I guess.

Lina: thanks

*awkward silence*

Byul: so my baby shower is tomorrow, you guys are coming right?

Jae: uh about that-

Byul: Jaeha I’m exexpecting you, you don’t have a choice

Jae: can-

Byul: whatever it is no, I need you there.

Lina: can I come?

Not sure that’s a good idea

Byul: uhm sure, right babe? *looks at Gray*

Gray: of course it’s your shower.

Byul: great

Jae:*rolls her eyes*

Yori: Jaejae is the new fantasy bra out yet?

Jae: yup, saw it this morning.

Yori: how much is it?

Ailee: who cares about the price, how was it?

Jae: It took, like, 700 hours to create and it has 9,000 gemstones. It was crazy to see that and be able to hold it. And it’s heavy – it weighs more than 450 carats. only a 3 millions

Yori: that’s not bad

Ailee: so you going for it?

Jae: no yall can have it, I don’t wear lingerie and besides if it was another color I’d get it, or I probably will. Green isn’t my thing

Lina: you’ll spend that much money on a bra? Do you know how much you can do with 3 million?

Jae: I am aware of how much that can be done with 3 million.

Yori: that's something poor people say

Ailee: they always calculating stuff

Jae: no only the one's at the bottom of the food chain.

Jimin: what’s the bottom of the food chain?

Jae: idk ask her

One thing to know with these girls is that if one don’t like you, none of the others will. If you attack one, the rest will come for you.

Jae: I’m leaving

Joon: already?

Jae: yeah, I’m sleepy and hungry

Mark: want anything here?

Jae: no

Mark: you’re going to text me as soon as you get in the car telling me to bring you something, please get it now

Jae: okay, *calls waiter* I’ll have two slices of cheesecake and carrot cake and a water.

The whole table literally shock to see her eat all of that.

Joon: Jaejae?

Jae: what?

Joon: you’re going to have multiple children

Jae: yall need shut up with that

Joon: you will, normally you would eat one each, not two of each

Jae: I did not have breakfast

Joon: that’s all sweet not food, why didn’t you?

Jae: I’ll see you guys later*gets up*

Mark: who’s gonna pay for all this?

Jae: do you have your wallet with you?

Mark: yes

Jae: do the math

Mark: not my favorite subject

Jae:*smile walks towards him and whisper something in his ears*

Mark:*smirk and started laughing* yo that’s not even cool

Jae: then why are you smiling?

Mark: cause…

Jae: I’m listening

Mark: just leave

Jae: my point exactly, I’ll see you guys later love you*walking out*

Mark:*follows her* hey, does that mean you won’t-

Jae: have I ever broken a promise to you?

Mark: *smile* I’ll see you later *back to the table*

Joon:*raise his brows* care to share with the whole table?

Mark: not with the whole table*calls the waiter and pays for both his and Jaeha’s food* I’ll see you guys later

Joon: you going to Jae’s?

Mark: no, she was just here

Joon: then where are you going?

Mark: *leans down and whisper something in his ears*

Joon:*bust out laughing* you serious?

Mark: yup, later y'all

Byul: will I see you tomorrow?

Mark: of course

After that, no part of me that wanted to be here. Everyone started to leave one at the time. Since it was already late afternoon I went straight home.

The drive home, all I had in my head is that Jaeha and Mark would be somewhere, but getting in our room there’s candlelight in the bathroom, she’s in the tub with her long rapunzel hair hanging on the floor.

Jay: hey I’m home

Jae: okay

After she got out of the water, we went straight to sleep. I spent half of the night watching her sleep. Again next morning waking up, we had a silent breakfast, and went up to do her work until it was time to leave for Byul’s baby shower.

Jae:*wearing a white floral bodysuit and a knee length leather skirt, and a two piece heels*

Jay: you ready?

Jae: yeah

We drove to the place completely silent. Getting there I know it’s going to be a problem since Byul invited Lina.

In the venue the whole squad is already here.

Gray: the Park’s are here*greets them*

Jae: where’s Byul?

Gray: in the room

Jae: well I’ll see you in a bit *go looks for her friends*

Jay: what is she doing here?

Gray: Byul invited her. Are you guys fighting?

Jay: who?

Gray: you and your wife

Jay: I might’ve yelled at her yesterday

Gray: oh boy

Jay: she was being all sensitive over nothing.

Gray: yo she’s pregnant. Her hormones are going all over the place, her body’s changing that’s all. Byul curse me out out of nowhere, I got curse out for turning on the light. You can’t be frustrated when she’s only a few weeks in. You have 8 more months to go.

Jay:*sigh*

Gray: and do me a favor

Jay: what?

Gray: please don’t entertain Lina tonight.

Jaeha isn’t the type of woman that will argue with anyone if anything she simply ignore you. That’s the worst on me since we still sleep in the same bed regardless of the argument we have. At times like this, she ignores me as if I’m not even in the same same room as her.

Jay:*looking at Jaeha sitting with the other girls*

Chacha:*elbows him* go say sorry

Jay: no use

Chacha: how come?

Jay: I’ve tried saying sorry. If anything my sorries are meaningless

Loco: well figure something out, cause you were wrong

Jay:*walks to her* can I talk to you?

Jae: I’m listening

Jay: can we talk in private?

All the girls leave and close the balcony glass door.

And now I have no idea what to say.

*Meanwhile inside*

Gray: are they going to be okay?

Simon: of course, those two can’t stay mad at each other. If they were going to break up, they would’ve done it years ago.

*Back outside*

♡Jae’s views♡

Is he going to say something or not? I left my jacket inside and this guy got me sitting here and not saying anything.

Jae:*tapping her nails on the table* I’m going back in

Jay: bae-

Jae:*stands up and hold out her* come on it’s cold

Jay: you still mad at me?

Jae: yea

Jay:*sigh*

Jae:*hugs him*

There’s no use of staying mad at Jaebum. We’re going to talk anyways.

Jay:*looks down at his short wife* Jaejae I still have a lot to learn-

Jae: *reaches up and kiss him* you’re doing fine. Let’s go we’re holding up the party

Back inside the shower continues we play game. I won most of them since I used to watch Jiyong’s kids, so I’m familiar with a few stuff.

As it gets late in the night, these people started playing question games that as nothing to do with a baby shower.

Gray: I think Jay and Jaeha are the biggest freaks among us

Jay: what?

Jae: excuse me?

Gray: I’m not the only one who think so.

Simon: y'all look like y'all be on some freaky shit

Jae: wow, what exactly do you guys think we do? How did this conversation even to that?

Jay: we both work now. When I get home and she’s sleeping, I don’t wake her up. And half of the time I wake up she already left. Even if she’s home at times she’s stuck in a office.

Chacha: what it can happen during your lunch break, car and stuff.

Jay: that’s what YOU do in your dressing room

Chacha: don’t you all do that ?

Jay: uh no

Jae: that’s nasty *looks at her friend*

Ailee: what about you?

Jae: I only do that in my bedroom

Loco: Only?

Jae: yea only in

Simon: what if you get the urge while you out?

Jae: I hold it in

Gray: hold it in?

Jae: yea, or I just tell him and then we leave where ever we were. Jay’s always in the mood for that. If we’re far from home, we just find a hotel.

I feel sorry for this girl that’s still here. Like is she not getting uncomfortable? *tsk tsk tsk* poor thing.

Yori: so when do you find Jay the sexiest?

Jae: honestly it’s either he’s wearing clothes or he isn’t, I’m okay either way. But I think Jay’s the sexiest when he’s wearing a suit and has his hair pull back

Jay: *smile*

Jae: or naked either one works for me.

All these sex talks are making me feel some type of way, and I really don’t want to do that tonight.

♤Jay’s views♤

We stay up and talk, Jaejae fell asleep. I had to wait till she wake up to leave. The next couple days we’ve got very busy due to Valentine’s concert. Jae and I barely see each other, when I’m home she’s in business meeting away, when I’m away she’s home, or we’re both out of the country.

♡♡VALENTINE’S DAY♡♡

Valentine’s day creeps up on people so fast it’s ridiculous. This is the first one in a while that I’ll be celebrating alone. I’m not upset, because I know how the whole business thing works

Simon: what are you doing later?

Jay: heading home

Simon: come on man, you know the tradition

Jay: Jaejae is not here, not in a party mood.

Simon: well your wife specifically told me to take you, so you would not spend it alone *shows him the text messages*

Jay: okay but just one hour.

We had a good show…. as always. Now time for that party.

*Jay texting Jae*

Jay: hey

Jae: hi

Jay: what you up to?

Jae: signing my hundredth paper for the day. You?

Jay: at the party you wanted me to go

Jae: having fun?

Jay: yea

Jae: really? Someone just sent me a pic of how miserable you are

Jay: it not fun if you ain’t here, I missed you

Jae: who said I’m not there?

Jay: what? *looks around*

Jae: *standing across the room still in her business attire*

Both:*walks towards each other*

Jay:*hugs her* I missed you

Jae: I missed you to

Jay: why didn’t you tell me you were coming?

Jae: I wanted to make in back before the 15th. The drive from the airport to the house would take too long, but from here to the airport isn’t that far.

Jay:*smile*

Jae: where’s everyone?

Jay: somewhere around making out

Jae: oh

Jay: wanna go home?

Jae: you ready to go?

Jay: yeah I’m tired, it’s been a long day

Jae: okay.

*outsite*

Jae: want me to drive?

Jay: yea

Jae: *smile* I thought you hate it when I drive?

I hate when she drive, but I wanna get home under one hour. Why? Because I want her so bad right now.

Just as I thought, under an hour.

Getting to our room it has pedals from the door to the bathroom, with the lights dim.

Jay: Babe?

Jae: I thought you’d be too busy to do it, so I did it for you. *pulls him in the bathroom* come on

Jay: are you going to undress me to?

Jae: do you want me to?

Jay: nah I got it

Jae: okay

It’s obvious that the sexual tension is pretty high, but she’s just… I don’t know ignoring it. We sat in the tub and watch a full movie and then gets out.

After getting out, she puts on her robe.

Jae: I’m going to get something from my old room I’ll be back

Jay: okay

In the meantime, I’m just going to get ready for bed. Jaeha and I started to record her belly growth process, even though there’s nothing there yet, we still do it every day.

Going through her bag I found the camera and start looking at the days when I wasn’t around. It’s coming along a little bit. Time to do tonight’s check up.

Jay:*turns on the camera as he heard the door opening* ladies and gentlemen please welcome Mrs.Park to the….. stage

Definitely not what I expected. I’ve known her for almost 10 years, and I’ve never seen Jaeha in a lingerie. Sweat shirts are as lingerie as I get.

Jae: what are you doing?

Jay: I’m about to record this historic moment of you wearing something like this

Jae: okay suits you *walks to the bathroom and brushes her teeth* stop recording.

Jay: why? it’s fun

Jae: babe

Jay:*still follows her around*

Jae: you’re sick

It is just so fun messing with her.

Jae: okay fine, I’ll just give you something to record

The look on her face change from being nice to im gonna be petty at F*ck

Jay: *backing away* what are you doing?

Jae: giving you something to record

Jay:*turns off the camera* you win

Jae: I thought you wanted to record?

Jay: I was just kidding

Jae: see I had the whole night planned out for you, but you ruined it.

Jay: bae-

Jae: oh well at least I tried. Night babe *kisses him and fixes herself in her spot*

She’s kidding me ..right?

Jay: babe I am horny af, how you expect me to sleep on this bed with you looking like that and not touching you?

Jae: the room next door’s empty.

She gave in at the end of the night Of course.

*next morning*

Jay: you know, you should wear lingerie more often

Jae: I will pass on that thank you. *sigh* I should probably get up now

Jay: work?

Jae:*snuggles on his chest* yea.

After we both got up and showered Jae went in her office and started working. Before I’d have to get out of the house and go to my office, but since I have both office an studio at home I can just go in my sweat pants.

Our offices are far from each other. It’s sucks but good at the same time. Jaeha’s office is in the main house, while mine is away but not too far from it. I’m okay with that, because sometimes I have work related meetings, I don’t want just anyone walking in and out of the main house.

Jaeha stays in the main house, cause she only does paper works, no one goes in her office besides her lawyer, dad, Mr.Kim and I. Jaeha’s one of these people once she focuses on doing something, she lose conscious, she doesn’t get up to pee or eat. Even if there was an Alien invasion and everyone died she wouldn’t know.

*knocks on her office door*

Jay: hey

Jae: hi

Jay: can I come in?

Jae: sure

Jay: how’s it going?

Jae: good

Jay: are you gonna be done anytime soon?

Jae: not really, why? *looking through papers*

Jay: dinner’s ready?

Jae: oh

*dinner table*

Jay: how’s it going?

Jae: straight

Jay: you gonna go back?

Jae: no, my butt and back hurt, I feel like crap, my head hurt.

Jay: you gonna take anything?

Jae: I’m pregnant I can’t just take anything.

After we ate, I wanted to go out, but Mrs.Park isn’t feeling well so I’m just going to stay in, like that the day end.

*next day*

This woman was almost in tears all night, but when I woke up this morning, she went out to work. I guess that means I have to head out to.

♡Jae’s views ♡

*10hrs later*

I haven’t been feeling well all day. I'm sleepy, but going to meetings after meetings I don’t even have time to complain.

Finally the end of the day, time for me to drive home.

Mr.Kim: would you like me to drop you home?

Jae: no, you’re probably tired, we’ve had a long day.

Mr.Kim: it’s no problem, my job isn’t finish until I know you’re home safe.

Jae: how effective is coffee?

Mr.Kim: it’s pretty effective, but considering the fact that you’ve never had it once in your life, I wouldn’t advise it.

Jae: come on it can’t be that bad, can it?

Actually it was that. I got a coffe on the way home and by the time I made it, I couldn’t stop throwing up. I’m just greatful I was able to make it home in a piece.

Jae:*calls Jay*

Jay: hey babe what’s up?

Jae: where are you?

Jay: I’m out with the guys

Jae: oh

Jay: what’s up you don’t sound to good?

Ok if I tell Jay I’m fine and he comes back and find me where I currently am * laying down next to the toilet* he’s gonna be mad, but I also don’t want to interrupt his “guy time”.

Jae: I’m alright

Jay: you sure?

Jae: yea, I’ll see you later

Jay: Jaejae if you’re lying to me I’m gonna be very pissed off, what’s wrong?

Jae: throwing up

Jay: why? Did you eat anything?

Jae: I had some coffee

Jay: What? You never drink coffee

Jae: I was tired, I didn’t feel like driving

Jay: you have drivers, you could’ve called me *sigh* where are you?

Jae: next to my new best friend, the toilet

Jay: can you move?

Jae: every time I move, I feel sick and throw up

Jay: okay I’m coming home.

Jae: iight

*Meanwhile Jay’s side*

Beenzino: you good man?

Jay: Jae’s not feeling well

Simon: what'sup?

Jay: she drank coffee, now she’s throwing up

Simon: she never drink coffee

Jay: yea I don’t know what possessed her today

Simon: thats your cue to leave

Jay: yeah I’ll see you guys later

On the way home I called my mom and asked her what I should do, she said soup.

Walking in she was on the floor, I know it sucks, cause the floor is cold.

Jae: you look nice

Jay: you look miserable

Jae: the floor is comfier than I thought

Jay: I’m not even going to ask you how your day was. Come on lets get you clean up

Jae: I didnt throw up on myself, and I can get up on my own

Jay: What are you talking about?

Jae: I’m saying that this is so embarrassing

Jay: how is me taking care of you embarrassing? Do you know how many times I’ve changed your clothes?

Jae: yeah, but normally I be K.O'ed

Jay:*sigh*

I dont know why she’s making a fuss.

Jay: what do you want me to do? Leave you on the floor?

Jae: just help me up. *sits on the edge of the tub* I’m sleeping in my other room tonight

Jay: wae?

Jae: I wanna skip shower

She wouldn’t go down without a fight. I spent the night watching her, she is sweating like crazy. I hope there’s nothing wrong with her, cause my schedule is going to be hectic for the next couple of weeks. We all know that I can’t function if this girl is not okay.

Waiting for her to wake up…. Waiting Waiting Waiting *sigh* still waiting

Is it normal to sleep the whole day without waking up?

Jay:*calling mom*

Mom: hello

Jay: mom

Mom: yes

Jay: is it normal for Jaeha to sleep all day?

Mom: I think that alright since she is pregnant

Jay: but she’s been sleeping since yesterday

Mom: is she alright?

Jay: she had coffee yesterday, and she was throwing up all night, and whatever she ate or drink, came right out

Mom: Jaeha doesn’t like coffee

See EVERYONE KMOWS IT

Jay: should I wake her up or no?

Mom: yea, try giving her something to eat. Nothing too heavy maybe some soup or something. Even if she doesn’t want to eat all of it.

Jay: mom? Do you know how hard it's gonna be to wake her up, let alone force her to eat

Mom: it’s gonna be 10x worst when you have kids so take this as practice.

After 25 minutes I finally get her. To wake up. She doesn’t want to eat cause she think she’ll throw up.

Jay: how you feeling?

Jae: sleepy

Jay: uh uh no no no , no more sleep.

Jae: I’m tired

Jay: because you’ve been sleeping all day, come on let’s go take a walk

Jae: I hate walking

Jay: let’s go for a drive, ice cream, anything but sleep.

We managed to leave the house. I try to bring as much conversations as possible just to keep her awake

Jay: so I was thinking that I should get my parents and apartment, you know close to us

Jae: that’s a good idea-

Jay: why do I feel there’s a but coming?

Jae: but why not get them a house instead of renting out an apartment.

Jay: not really following you, it’s just the two of them why get them a house?

Jae: they want a place to make memories, you know draw on the walls, pictures you know things that won’t be moving to different houses.

Jay: did you do that?

Jae: at my dad’s parents house yea, my grandparents have my drawing still in both their offices, so does my dad.

Jay: how come I dont have any?

Jae:*lol* you have a long way to go.

Jay: *sigh* I know

Jae: should we go back home now?

Jay:*looks at her*

Jae: dont worry, I’m fine, i just wanna eat.

Jay: should we get something while we’re out?

Jae: no

Jay: babe

Jae: I’m sure.

We drove back home and just chill.

#Giving love a shot part 52 #khh scenarios #aomg scenarios #Jay park scenarios #jay park fanfic #jay park fluff #jay park smut #jay park imagine

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