#sorry for the wall of text….. i think a lot about the goddess statues and saw my chance to unleash my ramblings

[beamattack]

Hi omg i love your loz idea so so much they live in my head rent free for real!! I have a question tho; what happened to my girl hylia?? Like you said the faceless statue in the village might have crumbled or been destroyed somehow but is that the ONLY statue there is? Are there others? Are they also destroyed somehow? Has the whole concept of the godess hylia faded from hylian memory??

Also as someone who lives in the arctic sircle you got the vibes perfect btw!! Love the frozen wasteland it is my natural habitat ^_^

Thank you so much!! :^D I'm glad you like it, and that you like the vibes! I don't live in the arctic circle but i do live pretty close to it, so we usually get quite cold snowy winters as well!! I love snowy landscapes, they can be more beautiful & have more variety than many might think!!

As for if the concept of Hylia have disappeared from hylian memory - both yes & no! Just as with Din, Nayru & Farore, whose names have been lost to history and are now just known as ”The Three” or ”The Creators”, Hylia's name and visage has been forgotten & warped over time. The statue of the Faceless is the only one known by the villagers, so for them it's normal that that's just the way she looks. There are stories about both her and The Three that have survived and transformed over time - about how after The Three created the world, The Faceless brought down people from the heavens to live on it, and about how the Faceless herself battled an unspeakable evil but had to retreat to the heavens after she had sealed it away, as her wounds were severe. This period in Hyrule is almost exclusively reliant on oral tradition & retellings to tell history, so stories change naturally over time (only Zelda, Impa and a few others can read & write since it's important for the work they do! And no, Link can't 👍).

So in the end, it IS still Hylia that the villagers pray and ask for guidance to, even if it's by another name, but much about her have been forgotten and retold over many, many years.

There is one other statue of the Faceless that can be found out in the middle of nowhere, but just as the one in Link & Zelda's village, its face/head has been destroyed in some way. As for why both statues are like that, I like to keep that to everyone's own interpretations :^) If this really WAS a game there never would be an answer for it in-game either, haha!

(loz idea masterpost)

[criminalshminds]

A Broken Whisper

A very, very, very late prompt from @eprcntiss, but good things happens to those who wait, right???

Prompt: “What are you doing here?  It’s late.” Pairing: Hotchniss (Emily Prentiss x Aaron Hotchner) Rating: General Audiences Words: 1968 TW: Canon faked death, slight intrusive thoughts

Summary: He didn’t know why he felt the need to check up on her, but he’s glad he did.  Though he never thought she’d be here. (Post Doyle)

*****************************************************************

He couldn’t say why he had the urge to check on Emily, he just did.  Something has been up with her since she came back after Doyle. Hotch has tried to be a sounding board for her, but her walls are always up that she manages to deflect any of his concern and places it back on him. But he saw her face at the take down that night.  He saw the lone tear that fell down her cheek, one that she quickly wiped away before anyone could see it.  Maybe that one tear led him to her apartment.  He parks in a spot that looks directly up into her apartment.  A spot that he has been in plenty of times before, back when things were simpler.  Back when they would steal little kisses.  Where she would wave at him from the window in her living room as he left to go back home to shower and change before work.  Where he told her that he loves her.  Back before she started to pull away.  Back when things made sense.

Since her return, they haven’t spoken of the past.  Actually, they haven’t really talked at all.  The only words they utter to each other are work related.  Well, that’s not completely true.  She did utter a goodbye today.  Maybe that’s why he felt the need to see her.  Looking up at the window that used to hold her smiling silhouette now just holds a darkness that sends a shiver down his spine.  Like he’s not supposed to be here.  Like he is intruding in a life that he doesn’t belong in anymore.  Taking a chancery glance around the parking lot, the first thing he notices is that her car isn’t in its designated parking spot.  Second thing he notices, is that she hasn’t been home since leaving work five hours ago, if the snow piled up on the concrete has anything to say about it. Knowing that she could be literally anywhere, he huffs out a sigh before digging around his pockets for his cell phone.

“Bossman, I know I am the goddess of all wisdom, but even goddesses need their beauty sleep.”  A grumble comes through the phone, definitely not the cheerful voice of Penelope Garcia that Hotch has come to know.

“Garcia, can you do me a favor?” He speaks quickly into the phone, no room or time for nonsense.

“Does it involve me coming back into the BAU?” Hotch hears some rustling noises, and only now does he realize that he is calling at almost midnight.

“No.”

“Hit me with your best shot.”

“Don’t raise any alarms unless I say so.”  Hotch runs his hand over his mouth before asking his request.  “Can you get me a location on Prentiss?”

She immediately shoots out of bed and races to her laptop.  She skids to a stop, barely landing on her couch before frantically typing and shooting out questions.  “What? Why would I – why is she?  She’s not – “ Not again, not when we just got her back.

“Garcia!”  He interrupts her panic raise of questions hoping to keep her head on straight.

“Right, sorry.  Um, give me a minute.  You sure it’s nothing?”  She waits for a second, getting no response she continues to type on her laptop before it pings her location.  “I got it! I sent it to you.  Please bring our girl back home.”

“I will Garcia, and remember – “

“I know, I know, not a peep.”  As soon as the last word left her mouth, Hotch moved the phone from his ear and immediately went to his messages.  Letting out a sigh, he puts the car in reverse and makes his way down the empty streets.

His shoulders don’t sag in relief until he sees her car parked in the desolate lot.  Pulling into the space next to her, he glances at silver sedan hoping he’ll be lucky to see her behind the wheel.  Mentally groaning when the car is as barren as the parking lot he is in, he turns off his car and shuffles out into the chilly night.  It didn’t take a genius to know that she has been here for a while, if the buildup of snow on her car was any indication. The steady stream of snow flurries coming down has covered any footprints that could potentially lead him to her.  Although, none of that was necessary.  For the seasoned profiler he is, he knew exactly where she went once the coordinates led him here.

                                      Quantico National Cemetery

He stares at the sign, willing his feet to move.  A staring contest that even the famous Aaron Hotchner glare can’t win.  It’s not until a particularly strong gust of wind whips around him for his feet to catch up with his brain.  A shiver races through his body.  Either from the cold or from that sinister feeling of being alone in a graveyard at night. He silently moves through the sea of headstones, a walk that is second nature to him.  One that he frequented quite often for months.  He makes his way up to the tree that helped shelter the gravestone from the elements and finally sees the back of her head.   He knows that she hears him coming, the crunching of the snow beneath his feet hard to miss, even past the sound of the wind.  Stopping a few feet behind her, he waits a minute before speaking.

“What are you doing here?  It’s late.”  He’s expecting her to turn towards him, but she sits as still as a statue staring at the engraved stone.  She doesn’t respond right away, making him move closer to her.  He opens his mouth to ask again when he hears her soft voice reply.

“I come here to think.”

Curiosity got the better of him.  “About?”

“Life.”  Her soft declaration carries through the wind and wraps around him.  She reaches forward in a practiced motion and brushes the fresh snow away to keep the text visible.

                                                  Emily Prentiss

                               October 12th 1970 – March 7th 2011

                                        Fidelity Bravery Integrity

“It’s so precious.  You never realize how special it is until it gets taken away.”  He continues to stand behind her, keeping his mouth shut. This is the most open she’s been since her return and he’s not about to ruin it.  “I didn’t think it’d be this strange.  Basically coming back from the dead.  You know I came here the first time purely out of curiosity.  Taking my picture off a wall is one thing, but removing a whole grave?”  She lets out a humorless chuckle.

“With a click of her finger, Garcia could get it removed.”  He speaks before he could stop himself.  He holds his breath hoping that he didn’t just cause her walls to build back up.

“No.”  Her head tilts back towards the sky.  “I need the perspective.”

Furrowing his brow, he carefully walks next to her before slowly lowering to the ground.  He starts to reach for her before quickly retreating, remembering that she’s no longer his to touch. He starts to question what her fake grave can help her with before remembering something she said after a case years ago. I need to know that I can be human.

“Being reminded of your own mortality isn’t the right perspective to have.”  He spoke softly even though he wanted to scream.  

“Don’t you get it?  It’s a reminder of how fragile life is.  Logically speaking, I shouldn’t be here.”  She scrunches up her eyes, a tear streaks down her face as she pounds her fist into the ground.

His hand shoots out and covers her fist that is still resting on the snow-soaked grass.  His touch finally breaks her out of her trance with her eyes finally meeting his.

“But you are here.  Living, breathing.  Dammit Emily! Don’t you understand?  You can’t move on until you finally accept that you are meant to be here.  With me! With us.”  He is grasping at her hand like she will disappear any second while his shoulders are shaking with the intensity of his breath.  She keeps his stare for a second, before turning away back to the headstone.

“Am I?”  She whispers. He lightly grasps at her chin, moving her head to face him again.

“Forever and always.”  That little phrase breaks her.  In a second, she leaps from her spot into his lap, burrowing her head into the crook of his neck.  The reaction almost pushes him backwards into the snow, but he quickly settles himself. His hand moves and starts stroking the back of her head in a practiced movement before he gently starts rocking them consoling her quietly in her ear trying to overpower her chant of “I’m sorry.” They stay wrapped around each other until he spares a glance at his watch, telling him that it is half past one in the morning.

“Come on.  Let’s get you home.”  He whispers into her ear, helping her up to her feet.  He feels her shiver against him as a large gust of wind almost knocks the both of them from their feet.  Only now does he notice that she’s been in just a sweater this whole time.  

“Jesus Em, you couldn’t have brought a jacket?”  Shedding his coat, he drapes it over her shoulders before wrapping his arm around her waist guiding her to his car.

“Left it in the car.  Didn’t realize how long it’s been.”  She chatters out to him, leaning closer towards him for warmth.  He lets out a frustrated sigh before picking up the pace, trying to get her to shelter.

He helps her into the passenger seat of his car, passing off her concerns about her car.  “We’ll take care of it in the morning.”  

He quickly makes his way into the driver’s seat to turn the car on.  They sit in the warming car for a couple minutes in complete silence.  Neither quite knowing what to say to the other.  After another minute, Hotch figures it’s best to start to drive to her apartment.  It’s not until they are halfway there that she finally speaks up.

“Aaron?”  She says no more than a whisper.

“Hm?”  He hums out, sparing her a quick glance before looking back to the empty road.

“I – I, thank you.”

His lips start to curve up into a smile and he removes one hand from the steering wheel to grasp at hers, stopping her from the continued picking of her nails.  He squeezes her hand gently in response before leaving their fingers intertwined.  Neither of them speak until he parks back at her apartment complex.

She starts to let go of his hand to make her exit before his voice stops her.

“Em?”  With her hand still on the inside latch, she turns to face him.  “I know it’s not my place anymore, but please don’t be afraid to come to me.  If you’re having a bad day, let me know.  You mean so much to me.  I meant it when I said forever and always.”

She slowly nods her head, before leaning forward to give him an awkward hug across the center console.  Pulling away, she shyly gives him a peck on the cheek before whispering.  “Forever and always.”

She opens the door, and goes to leave his jacket on the seat, but he holds up a hand to stop her.  “Give it to me tomorrow.”  

Smiling softly, she nods before closing the door.  He patiently waits until he sees the light go on in her apartment. He waits until he sees her figure standing in the window, giving him a small wave.  Like before.  He slowly pulls out of the parking space, smiling to himself.  Yeah, things are starting to make sense again.

[sketching-shark]

I think we should start a protection squad (although they don’t need it because they can protect themselves) for Sun Wukong and Guanyin

“Begone monkie kid fandom trying to down grade these really interesting characters with interesting personality’s and backstory ( the both of them like seriously Guanyin backstory is so cool) to a villain wile trying to justify your angsty backstory (that are no where near as cool as monkey who fights gods and Person who has 1000 arms and heads to help people in need) for the actual villain”

So who wants to join

Me:*raises my hand*

Ps: sorry if I got Guanyin backstory wrong am not an expert on it.

Haha okay so some critiques on the jttw & associated media western fandom & fandom in general coming up, so please skip this upcoming text wall if you don't want to encounter my undoubtedly ~devastating~ words (i.e. don't like don't read as people love to say, & if I have to be inundated with images of my notp every time I go into the sun wukong tag then I imagine people can be chill with me expressing my opinions & giving people fair warning that I WILL be critiquing common fandom trends, but no need for you to see that if you don’t want to. Cool? Cool.)

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PFFFFFTTT oh man there are many times when I feel like signing up for such a protection squad...when it comes to the current western jttw & Sun Wukong fandom I do feel like I'm often swinging at a rapid pace between "well it's fandom & people are allowed to make the stories they want" & "I am once again begging my fellow monkie kid enthusiasts (& sometimes creators) to do more research into the og classic/show it more respect so you can avoid any potentially offensive/off-the-mark misunderstandings of the status & cultural context of the characters in their country of origin (I promise it's super interesting & I can provide you with links to free pdf copies of the entire Yu translation, i.e. the best one ever created, so feel free to ask!) & maybe also stop constantly stripping away all the nuance of Sun Wukong's character for the sake of either making him an entire asshole so your little meow meow can look completely innocent in comparison and/or making the monkey king's entire life & character revolve around said meow meow."

Like I get that fandom's supposed to be a kind of anything-goes environment, but one thing that honestly seems to be true of a lot of fandoms--and the western one for Sun Wukong & co. is certainly not immune from this--is that there often seems to be a kind of monoculturalization at work in what stories are created & what character interpretations are made popular. Across a multitude of fandoms, you frequently see basically nothing but the exact same tropes being made popular & even being insisted on for the canonical work (especially hasty redemption arcs & enemies to lovers these days), the exact same one-dimensional character types that characters from an original work keep getting shoved into, the exact same story beats, etc. And I get it to an extent, as fandom is generally a space where people just make art and fic for fun & without thinking too hard about it & without any pressure. 

This seems to, however, often unfortunately lead to the mentality that it’s your god-given right to do literally whatever you want with literally any cultural figure without even the slightest bit of thought put into their cultural, historical, and even religious context, even (and sometimes especially) when it comes to figures that are really important in a culture outside your own. For such figures--even if you first encounter them in a children’s cartoon--you should be a little more careful with what you do with them than you would with your usual Saturday morning line-up. It of course has to be acknowledged that there exists a whole pile of absolutely ridiculous & cursed pieces of media that are based on Journey to the West & that were produced in mainland China, but for your own education if nothing else I consider it good practice for those of us (myself certainly included) who aren’t part of the culture that produced JTTW to put more thought into how we might want to portray these characters so that at the very least (to pull some things I’ve seen from the jttw western fandom) we’re not turning a goddess of mercy into an evil figure for the sake of Angst(TM), or relegating other important literary figures into the positions of offensive stereotypes, or making broad claims about the source text & original characterizations of various figures that are blatantly untrue, or mocking heavenly deities because of what’s actually your misunderstanding of how immortality works according to Daoist beliefs. Yet while a lot of this is often due to people not even trying to understand the context these figures are coming from, I do want to acknowledge that the journey (lol reference) to understand even a fraction of the original cultural context can be a daunting one, especially since, as I’ve mentioned before, it can be really hard & even next to impossible to find good, accessible, & legitimate explanations in English of how, for example, the relationship between Sun Wukong and the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China & according to the Buddhist beliefs that define the original work. 

That is to say, I do think it’s an unfortunate, if unavoidable, part of any introduction of an original text into a culture foreign to its own for there to be sometimes a significant amount of misinterpretation, mistranslations, and false assumptions. There is, however, a big difference between learning from your honest mistakes, & doubling down on them while dismissing all criticism of your misinterpretation into that abstract category of “fandom drama.” The latter attitude is kind of shitty at best and horrifically entitled at worst. 

Plus, as I’ve discovered, there is a great deal of interest and joy to be drawn from keeping yourself open to learning aspects of these texts & figures that you weren’t aware of! I can say from my own experience that I’ve always really enjoyed & appreciated it when individuals on this site who come from a Chinese background--and who know much more about the cultural context of JTTW than me--have taken the time to explain its various aspects. It often leaves me feeling like woooooaaaahhhhhHHH!!!! as to how amazingly full of nuanced meaning JTTW is like dang no wonder it’s one of China’s Four Great Classical Novels. 

And I guess that right there is the heart of a lot of my own personal frustration and disappointment with the ways that fandoms often approach a literary work or other piece of media...like don’t get me wrong, a lot of the original works a fandom may grow around are just straight-up goofy & everyone’s aware of it & has fun with it, yet the trend of approaching what are often nuanced and multi-layered works in terms of how well they fit and/or can be shoved into pretty cliche ideas of Redemption Arc or Enemies to Lovers or Hero Actually Bad, Villain Actually Good etc...well, it just seems to cheapen and even erase even the possibility of understanding the wonderful complexity or even endearing simplicity that made these works so beloved in the first place. Again, I feel like I need to make it clear that I’m not saying fandom should be a space where people are constantly trying to one-up each other with their hot takes in literary analysis, but it would be nice and even beneficial to allow room for commentary that strives to approach these works in a multi-faceted way, analysis & interpretations that go against the popular fandom beliefs, & criticism of the work or even of fandom trends (yes it is in fact possible to legitimately love something but still be critical of its aspects) instead of immediately attacking people who try to engage in such as just being haters who don’t want anyone to have fun ever (X_X).   

----

Anyway, I know I didn’t cover even half of the stuff you brought up in the first place anon, but I don’t want any interested parties to this post to suffer too long through my text wall lol. I was asked to try my hand at illustrating Guanyin, but as with you I’m nowhere near as informed as I should be about her, so I want to do more research on her history and religious importance before I attempt a portrait. I’ll try my best, and do plan to pair that illustration with my own outsider’s attempt to summarize her character. From what little I do know I am in full agreement that her backstory is so incredibly amazing...just the fact that she literally eschewed the bliss of Nirvana to help all beings reach it, and even split herself into pieces in the attempt to do so (with Buddha granting her eleven heads and a thousand arms as a result)...man, I can see why she’s such a beloved & respected deity. 

----

 As for what western fandom commonly does with everyone’s favorite god-fighting primate...I can talk about this at length if there’s interest, but for this post I’ll just say that I guess one lesson from all of this is that for all the centuries that have passed since Journey to the West was first completed, literally no one drawing inspiration from the original tale in the west (lol) has come even slightly close to being able to equal or even capture half the extent of the nuance, complexity, religious, historical, and cultural aspects, and humor that define Wu Cheng'en's story of an overpowered monkey who defied even Buddha.

So thank the heavens we'll always have the original.

[theassthatquits]

The Plane of Celebrations Ch 3: A Lesson in Empathy

The third chapter is posted! You can read the first two here.

Summary:  After the events of the Day of Sacrifice, the crew attempts to prepare themselves for the next holiday: The Day of Humility (A lesson in Empathy). Barry and Lup visit a temple.

“Okay, so according to this book on this plane’s celebrations, it seems like the next one is the Day of Humility: A Lesson in Empathy,” Barry was thumbing through the text, trying to figure out what their year here was going to look like.

“And? What does that mean for us? I can’t go another day without my sense of taste, I’ll just knock myself out for the rest of the day,” Taako called out from the other side of the room.

The crew was congregated in their common room, Barry was sitting on the couch with Lup draped over its back, reading over his shoulder. Davenport was standing in front of him at attention, ever the professional. Taako was leaning against the doorframe pretending to look uninterested but Lup could tell he was pretty apprehensive about what the next “holiday” would entail. Ever since the Day of Sacrifice, Lucrecia and Magnus had doubled down on what they lost. She had been writing more than ever and was currently taking detailed notes during their meeting. Magnus was pacing around the room lifting dumbbells that he had acquired from...somewhere.

“I can teach these people a lesson on empathy, they’ll never know what hit them,” muttered Merle from the floor where he was sitting cross legged. “I think they need a taste of Pan.”

“Something tells me that bringing Pan into this world isn’t going to fix anything, old man,” Lup teased from behind Barry’s ear. He shivered involuntarily.

Barry read out loud from the textbook: “‘The Goddess Eies had noticed that everyone was too harsh and judgmental of their neighbors, not caring what others had going on in their lives. To solve this issue, she made every head of household swap with another. For the full day, they had to live in another family’s shoes, doing what they do on a daily basis, experiencing their struggles, their joys. At sunset, she brought everyone together in the center of town for a community feast.’”

“Okay so we swap Davenport with someone for a day and then go to a delicious feast? Psh, this will be easy,” Taako scoffed from the doorway and turned to leave, waving behind him. “Taako out.”

“Hmm, I guess we can prepare for this at least.” Davenport started staring off into the distance, stroking his beard. “Do we have any idea when this is going to happen?”

Barry started flipping through the pages, running his finger along down the paragraphs. “Uhhhhh, no clue. It doesn’t really give a timeline.”

“Ooh! I have an idea!!” Lup leaped up and started prancing around the room. “How about we head into town and start asking around. They must have some idea of when this fantasy freaky Friday will take place.”

“Hmm...I suppose that isn’t the worst idea.”

This was all the permission Lup needed. Squealing, she ran over and enveloped him in a large hug. “Thanks cap’n! Hey, Taako! Get your fancy shoes on! We’re going out!” Lup jumped up and ran down the hall after her brother.

Sighing, Davenport turned to Magnus. “Will you go with them? Just to make sure there’s no...trouble?”

Magnus smiled and pointed one of the dumbbells at him. “You got it, cap’n’port!”

——

Barry sat in the lab, engrossed in the book, making notes all over the pages trying to prepare for the holiday ahead. Was it a magical switch? Would the captain wake up inside someone else’s body? Or would they receive word of where he should go? Would it even be Davenport that was chosen? He had just assumed because he was the leader of the group, but maybe it was more of a metaphorical head of household, someone who held them all together. That would probably be Lup if it were. Barry frowned at that idea, he wasn’t so keen on the thought of Lup switching places with a random person for a day. Maybe it wouldn’t affect them at all, they were all just assuming it would because of the last holiday. It’s good to be prepared regardless, he decided.

“Hey, there’s a whole world out there that can tell you all of that information, you know.”

Barry smiled. “Well if I’m out there winning the world with my charm, what will you do?”

“Hmmm,” Lup walked into the lab, settling herself down on the couch in the corner. “I guess hide here in the lab like the nerd I secretly am.”

“Gather anything good?”

“Oh, loads! So it’s going to take place sometime next week, it’s apparently always around the first week of the sixth month. And it happens magically, like Davenport is going to wake up in someone else’s bed on that day.”

“Yeah but will he be in that person’s body or his own?”

“His own! Isn’t that incredible? The kind of magic needed to just instantly transport all of those people, that’s…god-like.”

“Well, I��m pretty sure the forces behind all of this are gods. That is a whole lot of power that they would need for something like that…” Barry trailed off and Lup turned to look at him.

“What are you thinking about?” She said after a moment. “Barry, that’s your very intense thinking face. Did you get an idea?”

Barry snapped out of his reverie. “Oh! Sorry, Lup.” He furiously scribbled some notes down. “Yeah, something did just occur to me. Has anyone talked about these gods? If they have met them or anything?”

“I think a few have mentioned them by name but I haven’t heard of anyone being visited by them since the first time these events took place. I did see a few temples around town, did you want to go check them out?”

He paused, staring down at his writing. “Yeah, I think that might be a good idea.”

—-

Lup and Barry walked across town, over to the Temple of Eies. They walked past people preparing for the holiday, setting up tables and centerpieces, passing around sign-up sheets for food and entertainment, the temple itself was being adorned with flowers and letters written to the Goddess. Everyone was in high spirits, despite knowing that any day now a random person would magically wake up in their house.

This was not the first time that they had travelled into town, but Barry did not recognize many of the faces, he had really only just been to the library. Lup on the other hand was already on a first name basis with quite a few people. It seemed like no matter where they went someone was yelling over to them, or giving her a high five as they passed. One man was particularly enthusiastic about the high five and she swerved him, laughing as she walked past.

“He’s kind of a dick,” she whispered to Barry. “Told Taako his outfit looked stupid and no one messes with my boy like that.”

The temple was abuzz with activity and Barry almost suggested they turn around until they noticed that they were actively being welcomed inside. It was small, a statue of what he could only assume was Eies was at the front, a tall winged woman with her hands on the heads of two small children on either side of her. Fresh flowers were strewn around her feet, providing some color in an otherwise very gray space. A couple of benches were placed nearby and some columns lined the walls but other than that it was a pretty boring space. Not one that is immediately thought of for a Goddess of immense power.

“Can I help you fine folks with something?”

The small voice startled Barry and he turned around to find a halfling looking up at them.

“Yeah, actually. Are you in charge here?”

They chuckled at that, “Is anyone really in charge of anything? The Deities are the ones who are in charge, we just act in their vision. But yes, I am a devout follower of Eies and the keeper of this temple. What can I help you with?”

“Uh, we were hoping that we could ask you some questions about the upcoming holiday and the Deities.”

“Oh of course! I thought you were going to ask me for something difficult, this is an easy one. Come, come, let’s go sit and have a chat.” They led Lup and Barry towards the front of the temple to one of the benches nearby the statue. “My name is Sadorn, you two must be part of the group that are staying in that large metal thing right outside town.”

“Yes, this is Barry and I’m Lup. We haven’t been here for very long, we arrived a couple of days before the Day of Sacrifice.”

“You must have had quite a scare if that was your first venture into our celebrations!”

“Yes, it was…” Lup grimaced. “Unpleasant.”

“I’m sure but it is the work of the Deities! They know all, and we must trust them. Now what are your questions?”

“I’m curious about the nature of the Deities,” Barry started off. “Where did they come from and how do they know ‘all’?”

“Well, my dear, the Deities came from the sky! They had been watching us for a long time and couldn’t bear to see us miserable anymore. You’ve heard the stories, haven’t you?”

“Yes, I do have a book I have been reading, but it doesn’t give much in the way of specifics.”

“What kind of specifics are you looking for?”

“Like...has anyone alive spoken to a Deity?”

“Oh, no, the Deities left us a long time ago. They still watch us from above and will interfere again if needed.”

“How would one get into contact with a Deity?”

Sadorn motions to the letters left at Eies’s feet. “Write a letter, leave it at her feet. She will answer.”

“How does she answer? A note back? Some telepathy, perhaps?”

“Dear heavens, no,” Sadorn laughs as if this was the best joke they had heard in awhile. “The Gods don’t write notes.”

“Then how will we know?”

“Trust, my dear. The world will speak to you.”

Barry, a man of science, was not thrilled with this response.

“Okay, this has been...an interesting talk. Thank you for your time, Sadorn.”

“You’re very welcome, and please let me know if you need anything else. Have a great rest of your day and a safe holiday.”

Lup smiled warmly at them. “Thank you for talking with us, Sadorn. We will see you at the festival.” After Sadorn left, she turned to Barry. “Well, not the most reliable of sources but maybe we should give it a shot. Do you have any paper?”

The only thing on him was the book on celebrations he had been reading, so he flipped to the back of the book and ripped out the title page for the second chapter.

“What are you writing?”

“Well, they say that the Deities know all and they obviously have incredible power to pull off the things that they do. I’m going to warn them about the Hunger. And ask them for their help. If they really do have that kind of knowledge, then they should know that we aren’t from this plane and maybe they will know what to do.”

“I guess it doesn’t hurt to ask.” Barry pauses while writing, looking puzzled down at the paper. “What’s wrong?”

“How do I end a letter to a deity? Should I sign it with love?”

“Nah, man. Sign it something cool. We should come up with a name for our crew….ooh! I got it! How about the Hunger Blasters!”

Barry’s brow furrows, “I don’t know, sounds kind of dirty.”

Lup slaps him on the back in celebration. “Then it’s perfect! Sign it and let’s go!”

Sighing, Barry signed ‘Hunger Blasters’ at the bottom of the letter and then underneath in smaller print ‘(Sildar Hallwinter and friends)’. Probably best to be formal with a Goddess.

[lynneshobbydomain]

Dungeon Chaos (KomaHinaNamami Week Day 4)

Prompt: Dungeons and Dragons

Rating: T

Summary: Chiaki’s never played a tabletop roleplaying game before, so being invited to one is both exciting and nerve wracking. At least she knows most of the people there.

“Hey, Onee-chan!” Kokichi landed hard against her desk, and Chiaki barely moved out of the way, her finger dancing across the console. “You play a lot of video games, right?”

“Yes,” Chiaki answered without bothering to look up. She was trying to defeat this boss, and she had it up to the hardest mode that she could play. She also decided to challenge herself and kept her character under level just for the extra amount of satisfaction. She knew that she was reckless, she usually didn’t try to play like that. She liked completing games, a hundred and ten percent of the way, but today was frustrating, and she wanted to have a struggle. It was better than starting a fight with Nagito or Hajime over something stupid. 

“Would you say you’re good at roleplaying games?” 

Chiaki paused the game after hearing that. “Is it the same as dating sims? I’m not very good with personal connections. I never know how to respond to people or how to react to them. The situation always calls for something, and if the wrong choice is made, it lowers the friendship and romance meter. I usually end up getting the no “choice” path because of it. Or the normal route, I suppose.” She looked up at Kokichi, who was comfortably swinging his legs back and forth, leaning into her personal bubble. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, what if I told you you could do all of that in real life, and you’ll know instantly what the wrong choice is?” Kokichi grinned. “Shirogane-chan from my class is hosting a DnD group. Saihara-chan and I joined, and I already asked Fujisaki-chan and Naegi-chan. Shirogane-chan told me that she was looking for more members, and our class isn’t playing.”

“Hmm.” Chiaki pressed a finger to her chin in thought. Nagito and Hajime were out getting food for her since she had been so caught up with her game. It wouldn’t surprise her if they went on a mini-date to eat a bit of lunch before bringing her back something to eat. Either that or Nagito’s luck struck, and they were trying to get out of whatever situation that wound up being. She hoped it was just a stuck vending machine. She didn’t want to go maxim capacity and have it be that a school building fell on top of them. 

Chiaki was hanging out with Nagito too much if that was the first conclusion she came to. “I’ll have to ask and see if they’d want to. Hajime might since he likes playing video games with me. Nagito...he might feel like he’d just bring bad luck and disaster onto the game if he played.”

“Wouldn’t that make it more fascinating, though?!” Kokichi asked, leaning in with sparkling eyes. Chiaki was amused that he acted like her on occasion when she got excited. The common joke around the class was that Chiaki was somehow related to Kokichi, even though they could prove they weren’t. “I want to see Komaeda-chan’s luck in action! I’m always not around when something big happens.” He pouted slightly. “Maybe that’s his luck affecting me too?”

If so, it was strangely good luck. Chiaki shrugged, “When is the game supposed to start?”

“Hm? I was just supposed to get yes or no answers. I have your cell number, so I’ll tell you the deets when I get them from Shirogane-chan.” Kokichi grinned. “Oh, that reminds me. Any preference for a story?”

“You can choose your story?” Chiaki blinked. “Like backstory or…”

“Campaign story. Setting. You know. The background that we’re going to be tossing our characters in. I told her that I wanted to do Dragon Heist because you know. I’m a thief by trade.”

“You’re playing the rouge character than when a background of being a criminal.” Chiaki mused thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I’m not necessarily picky. So long as everyone has fun, I think that’s all that matters.”

“Ugh, well better than Yamada-chan. He told us that he wanted to do The Tomb of Annihilation. Since we have so many beginner players, Shirogane-chan’s not sure if that’s a good way to start.” Kokichi said as he glanced at his nails. “Well, whatever. If you run into your dream team, ask them for their opinion, too, okay? Better not forget Onee-chan. I’ll cry!”

“I understand.” Chiaki watched Kokichi leave. She hummed thoughtfully before going back to her game, losing herself until Nagito and Hajime came back with food.

Vending machine once more decided to get stuck again.

Better than a whole roof falling down, that’s for sure.

X

The conversation about the DnD disappeared from Chiaki’s mind. She was setting up for her weekend stream event when she heard her phone ding from across the room. Ignoring it, she went about getting her console hooked up to the right appliances when she heard a soft knock on the door. “Kokichi said something about a DnD group that’s happening tonight. He’s asking if you forgot to tell us?”

“A what now?” Nagito spoke up, and now Chiaki had to look. Hajime was standing at the door of her office, holding her phone casually in his hand. Nagito was peering over Hajime’s shoulder, clearly reading the text. “Huh. Ouma-kun has a strange way of wording things.”

“Like you don’t use emojis when you talk.”

“Not to that degree. I like to use numbers more.” 

“DnD…” Chiaki trailed off before the lightbulb hit. Guilt flooded, and she looked at her game dejectedly. She was so eager to play the new game that came out too, but..she was curious about the roleplaying setup. She also never played a game with different people in a setting before. “Kokichi asked me if I wanted to come and play it, and I promised him I’d tell you guys. I’m sorry. It slipped my mind.”

“Do you still want to do it?” Hajime asked, his thumb hovering over the phone screen. “I can tell him we’re on our way, we just need the address.”

“This could be so exciting! What kind of hope do you guys think will spring from playing a roleplaying game? I wonder if all our talents are going to shine through. Oh, but that might mean my bad luck may hit unexpectedly. Maybe I should sit this one out.”

“No!” Chiaki and Hajime said together at the same time, startling Nagito into silence. “You’re coming too,” Chiaki replied firmly. “I want to see you play a game with us. You’re always on the sidelines. That can’t be fun.” 

“I don’t mind watching, it’s exciting to see you two go at it.” Nagito grinned.

“Phrasing,” Hajime grumbled as he decided for them and typed out a response. “We should get going now if we want to make the next train and get to where they’re at.”

“They’re not playing at the dorms?” Chiaki questioned.

“Yamada-kun hangs out a comic book store not too far from here. They host the games, so we get the tablespace, and we can be as loud as we need to be within reason,” Hajime explained as he tossed Chiaki’s phone back. Kokichi had typed up the address, and it was clear to see that it was indeed a comic book store. “Let’s go.”

X

Chiaki didn’t typically go into comic bookstores. Still, she had to admit that the atmosphere reminded her of a lot of video game stores. The store was small and cozy with blue and red walls. Their shelves dedicated to different publishers that were all categorized by the title name. There were single-issue comic books as well as graphic mangas that were proudly displayed. The novelty statues that were in some of the display cases showed off some of the more famous superheroes and supervillains. Chiaki could see that there were some video game statues in there as well. They continued to walk until they reached the back of the store where a table was set up, and she saw that everyone was already there and waiting for them. On the table next to them was a tray full of snacks, pizzas, as well as sodas and cups. 

“Onee-chan!” Kokichi didn’t waste time running over to her and body-slamming her into a hug. “I thought you ditched me! You promised that you’d talk to your boytoys about whether or not you’d be coming! I didn’t think I was so easily forgettable!” Tears slipped down his cheek.

“Ah, uh...Ouma-kun I don’t think Nanami-san would forget about you that easily. Hinata-kun just said that she forgot.” Saihara tried to dissuade Kokichi from any more tears. Chiaki was impressed by how fast Kokichi could wipe away the evidence that he had been crying so quickly. 

“Nishishi! Don’t worry, beloved! I was just playing. Come on, sit, sit.”

Everyone was already there too. Chiaki didn’t recognize most of them. Makoto, she knew mostly from running into the halls. The girl that sat at the end of the table was wearing a dramatic looking dress with long silver hair that was braided and had a flower crown. Pointed ears were poking from the strands, and decorated with an ornate silver covering. “So before we begin playing, how many of us already have character sheets made?”

“Me!” Kokichi quickly pulled his out of a thick book and slammed it down on the table, shaking it dramatically. “Behold! Your Phantom Thief as arrived along with-” he grabbed Shuichi’s hand and held it up high “-your beloved Paladin!”

“Oh, awesome! What species are you two doing?” The girl asked, clasping her hands together. 

“Halfling and human.” 

“Oh. I see. How plain.” The girl ignored Kokichi’s indigent screech. “I’m going to assume you got yours done too, Yamada-kun?”

“Of course, I did. I sat down for hours trying to come up with a backstory that will mesh well with any campaign we all agree on. I have decided upon the paladin as well! My chosen warrior will be fighting alongside the Goddess of Sune as well. I may be adding in a bit of bard into the mix later down the road. Do you need my copy of my backstory, Shirogane-san?”

“If you have it,” Tsumugi said. Chiaki watched as they exchanged it across the table. It was starting to feel overwhelming. How was she supposed to keep track of what’s what?

“Psst, Onee-chan.” Kokichi caught her attention and gave her a grin. “Don’t worry about it. Yamada-chan likes to show off that he’s a veteran to this. You and the dream team aren’t the only ones that are new or don’t have a character sheet.”

Chiaki felt a little calmer with the assurance. Makoto spoke up, looking confused. “So how are we even supposed to do this? I tried to do it myself, but my sister laughed at me over the phone and hung up.”

“It’s okay Naegi-kun, I was lost too,” Chihiro replied quietly as they carefully smoothed down their skirt.

“How about all of us pair up with the newbies and help them design their characters and then we can talk about the campaign? Session zero is usually nothing but set up anyway and making sure the rules are understood. If we get a bit of gameplay going, all the better.” Tsumugi said, just as Kokichi immediately bounded over and sat down in between Chiaki and Hajime.

“Okay! I’ll take the dream-team and Onee-chan! Someone else can help the two helpless nerds over there.” Kokichi said as Shuichi reached over and handed Kokichi his handbook. He dragged the three over to a separate table.

“Do you guys have a dice set?” At the shake of their head, Kokcihi turned his head over his shoulder. “Oi! Beloved! Toss me the catapult!”

“The what?”

Shuichi ignored Tsumugi’s surprise as he picked up a dice bag that looked like it was made of leather and rounded into a ball. He tossed it over the table, making Kokichi catch it with both hands. Without another word, he dramatically overturned his bag. The dice spilled out, hitting the table and rolling everywhere on the floor’s surface. 

It took a little bit to help clean it up, but the minute they were able to do that, Kokichi finally sat them down and spoke. “So. What do you guys think you represent?”

Represent? Chiaki frowned deeply as she looked over to see that both Hajime and Nagito were thinking about it as well, taking Kokichi’s words into consideration. “Hope,” Nagito spoke up, and Chiaki sighed. “Luck and hope.”

“Uh...hard work, I suppose? Talent?” Hajime tried.

“Hm...something that has to do with fun, I think,” Chiaki said quietly, pulling her hoodie over her head as she tried to block out some of the noise and light. She hadn’t realized that the group behind her was going to get so loud.

Hajime subtly made her move so that she was sitting in between him and Nagito. Kokichi didn’t bat an eye or ask questions. “Okay, so halfling for Komaeda-chan, a fighter for Hinata-kun, and…” he paused humming to himself before nodding. “I think Onee-chan will make for a good bard.”

“Should I go for a healing class?” Nagito questioned. “Considering that everyone else is fighter types. I recall that Chiaki would have to take the role less played with during her MMORPGs, and Clerics are usually the ones used for that, aren’t they?”

“You sure that you want to stay behind and just cast healing spells?” Kokichi questioned, “It’s fun if you’re up ahead in the battle.”

Chiaki was about to open her mouth to offer, but Nagito was faster than she was. “I don’t want my luck to ruin your guys game. It’s better if my character is a bystander to let all of you shine. I don’t mind.”

“So a halfling cleric. I’ll make this easy for you and say that you should go with Life Domain. Mostly because of your luck, hope, and morales.” Kokichi said. “We’ll roll dice for stats and everything in a bit. How about you Hinata-chan? I said the fighter, but...you want someone to be hardworking, right? Human’s pretty typical, but...I mean, we already have a human paladin. It wouldn’t take us long to weave your backstory with Saihara-chan’s. You two could know each other in-game. It’ll make for roleplaying easier. Because in addition to knowing him, you’ll know me because I cause a lot of trouble around the town.”

“Probably enough that a cleric would also know you?”

“Heard of me sure, unless you’re gonna be friends with the paladin. Oh, if you two follow the same God, that’ll give you something to talk about too.” Kokichi snapped his fingers.

Chiaki hummed thoughtfully as she listened to the conversation, her mind whirling as she thought about what she wanted to be. She peered over Hajime’s shoulder as he flipped through the book, angling it so that she could see. “Are there any uncommon monsters?” Chiaki questioned.

“What do you mean?” Kokichi asked.

“I mean,” Chiaki pulled on her hoodie. “Someone that’ll take a look and think that he’s dangerous, but in the end, he’s actually a good person?”

Neither Hajime nor Nagito could miss what reference she was making out of that. 

“...Tiefling or Dragonborn usually,” Kokichi said slowly, picking his words carefully. “Teiflings are what you want to go with if you’re trying to scare people. Half-orcs or orcs are common ones too, but Teiflings are considered to be people from hell. They’re not exactly looked at well I think it’s a flip of a coin what town would prefer what monster though over the others. Dragons are terrifying in their own right.”

“Why not go with Tiefling?” Chiaki offered, looking up at Hajime. “You’ll get the hardship of trying to win everyone’s favor, and you can work hard at show-casing that appearances shouldn’t be judged on.”

“...Alright.” 

“What about you, Chiaki? You agreed to be a bard, but...are you sure that’s an idea?” Nagito questioned.

“Bards usually are the ones that have the most, though they’re usually played more sexually,” Kokichi said bluntly. “Since Onee-chan likes to have fun, it’ll be interesting for like...a bard to actually be just that. A playful character that doesn’t take anything seriously.”

“Hmmm...I’m a pretty serious person by nature…” Chiaki said slowly, “so playing something that’s a little bit out of my comfort zone will be hard. It should be fun. But what species would be best for me to go with if I’m only trying to do that?”

“Why not a gnome? A gnome bard.” Kokichi offered. 

Nagito suddenly burst into laughter, causing all three of them to look at him. He held his hands up, giggling and trying to control himself. “Sorry, sorry. I just had this thought that...Hajime’s Tiefling will be with the two shortest people in the game.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right! Nishishi! That’ll be hysterical if you three decide to get together in the game!” Kokichi laughed. “Okay, okay. Let’s roll the dice and see what you guys get for stats and equipment.”

X

“I still can’t believe that your luck can affect a fucking roleplaying game,” Hajime stated as they left the store in good nature. They managed to get their characters set up, with Nagito being stupidly powerful for being the first level due to his high rolls and his luck. The campaign they decided to choose was the Tyranny of Dragons. Since no one was a Dragonborn or could speak in dragons, it nearly caused a Total Party Kill within the first mission. It was only thanks to Kokichi’s quick thinking and Hifumi’s foresight for things that could go bad and turned the tide.

“It wasn’t just Nagito’s luck, though,” Chiaki helpfully pointed out as Nagito laughed easily at the accusation. “Did you see how bad Naegi-kun was rolling?”

Nagito was rolling pitiful numbers. It got to the point that most of the table thought Tsumugi was trying to prolong his suffering by fudging her rolls from behind the screen to help them out a bit. Makoto’s dexterity was decent, but the number of times he tripped and caused a problem was...alarming. It didn’t help either that Kokichi thought Chihiro and Makoto were the best people to mess with. He slipped a few things into Makoto’s equipment bag that raised eyebrows and questions when targetted. 

“I have to admit it was riveting that we were facing the Champion head-on!” Nagito held his hands up excitedly. “Did you see how Hajime rolled so high to get so many critical hits? We thought he accidentally picked out Ouma-kun’s trick dice!”

“God, that was embarrassing.” Hajime groaned. “But the champion was annoying. I’m glad I fucked him up when I had a chance. Tsumugi plays a decent villain character. I don’t think I’ve wanted to strangle anyone as much as I do those cultists.”

“It’s terrible that they’re controlling the dragons somehow with the mask, but I’m eager to see what else happens.” Chiaki agreed, “I didn’t fall asleep once, and it was hard!”

Hajime and Nagito both wrapped their arms around her, Hajime going for the waist while Nagito settled for the shoulders. “I’m glad you had fun, Chiaki,” Hajime said softly. “I was worried that it might’ve been overwhelming.”

“At first it was, there were a lot of things to take in, and I wasn’t used to the area. However, as I got used to it, my stats increased, and I was better able to focus. It helped that both of you were on either side of me the entire time and that Ouma-kun was distracting. Poor Saihara-kun, though...he had to bail Ouma-kun out of doing some peculiar things.”

“Yeah...pickpocketing the mayor might’ve not been the best idea in the world.” Hajime agreed.

“I’m not so certain.” Nagito injected. “I still think that Ouma-kun and myself have a good hunch that the mayor isn’t who he says he is. I think that our group is still being used, but I’m not sure how.”

“We’ll just have to rely on our gut instinct for now,” Chiaki leaned into their hold. “My mind is going a thousand miles an hour. I’m starting to get sleepy trying to keep up.”

“Do you want me to give you a piggyback ride, Chiaki? At least to the station?” Hajime asked, already getting ready to get on his knees.

“Yea...I think that might be best.” Chiaki was getting tired, and it was hard to stand. Hajime bent down, and Chiaki allowed herself to fold forward around him. He hooked his arms under her legs as she tiredly clung to his shoulders. 

“Hahaha, I’m a little worn out myself; that was a lot of information to be given all at once.” Nagito rubbed the back of his neck. “So should we plan to tell Ouma-kun that we’ll come next week?”

“Hmm...go for it.” Hajime nodded. “I’ll remind Chiaki when she wakes up.”

“Not...sleep….” Chiaki closed her eyes before she could complete the sentence. She was looking forward to next week too. 

[neshabeingchildish]

Poly Wanna? Ch. 08

Lemme know if I need to take you off the tag. Idk who’s actually reading because I’ve only heard from a couple of people, so idk if y’all still interested.

@adorkable-blackgirl  @chenoahchantel  @riebellion  @woahjusttakeiteasy-man  @up-the-tube   @ciara-knightly  @cactus-con  @oof–musicals @lesbian-so-what  @meadowstryingtobepretty @imma-sensitive-btch @okaygal21 @midernacht @divinereign4ever @xoxoemille @itsyaapollochild

Sleepover at Henry's

Charlotte woke up and was startled by the appearance of a couple of faces hovering above her. “She’s awake! Hellooo! It’s me, Schwoz, from where you used to work!”  

She held her hand over her chest, catching her breath as told him, “I know who you are, Schwoz!” 

Ray folded his arms and fussed, “Well, you sure don’t act like you know us. We haven’t seen you in YEARS!”

“I was busy,” she said and was grateful that she hadn’t been sleeping naked, like she generally did. “Why are you in here?”

“Well, Henry went to handle a little business,” Ray said winking at her. 

“Yes, he had some work to do..” Schwoz added, also winking. 

“You could say that he has some feel good work…” Ray said, winking even more and now he and Schwoz were just smiling and winking way too much.

“The crew knows,” she said and moved Schwoz so that she could climb out of bed. She groaned as she did. 

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Where are you trying to go?” Ray asked. “You can’t leave. Look at how banged up you are! Schwoz, get the Bang Bang Bag!”

Schwoz rolled his eyes, “I don’t work for you. You get the Bang Bang Bag.” They bickered for a moment, then noticed that Charlotte had gotten up and began to mess with her own things, primarily, her phone. “Fine! Fine, I’LL get the Bang Bang Bag!” She heard in the background as she checked to see that she had multiple messages from people who Jasper must’ve told that she had gotten hurt, including both of her parents. 

Piper: I saw what happened on Bianca’s TwitFlicks! WTF??? Henry told me that you’re okay, but for good measure, I called up our Bilsky bunch. It's not going down the way that it did, Bruh. Gang Gang!! Seriously, CALL ME if you need anything. I’m just a few hours away, less on a plane.

Ya Mama: Baby, call me when you get a chance. I’ve spoken with the family lawyer and already have contact information from the witnesses for what happened. Hopefully, you’re resting. 

That Muffugga: Charlotte, I’ve tried to call you several times. I know that you’re still mad and processing things, but you need to let me know if you’re okay and what you need. No matter what, you’ll always be my little girl and I’ll always be here for you.

Jasper: Your dad stopped by. I didn’t even know that he knew where I lived, but anyway, I can’t sleep. I’m so sorry about everything that happened. I… I’ll call you. My hands are shaking. I don’t want to type this out.

She had other texts, but she immediately checked her voicemail. She went specifically to Jasper’s, ignoring ones from her parents and electing to check Piper’s afterwards (it was probably prior to her text, anyway). “Hey, Char… Look… I hope that you don’t hate me. I promise, I was just trying to do the right thing… “So, here I am panicking, like oh my God, please don’t let Jasper have gone looking for that guy, because he’s so protective and even though he’s a big cuddle bear, he can be as dangerous as a bear whenever he’s in protective mode…” “I know how it can go down when a fight breaks out. You know that I’ve been bartending for a while and I see it happen when people get too drunk and angry… I was so concerned with making sure that you got help and trying to make sure that I stayed with you…” He sighed. “I should have taken more action. I’m sorry. And, I understand if you don’t feel as safe with me now or if you need your recovery time away from me. I just wanted you to know, I was actually thinking about you and I made the decision to try to get you to a doctor instead of making sure he needed to see one. I don’t know if that was the right choice, but I’m gonna let you decide things. Hoping to hear from you…”

She was about to call him back when she heard a loud bang and screamed. She turned to look at Schwoz, holding a bottle that he had uncorked and he and Ray both cheered, “Bang Bang!” Schwoz poured some of whatever it was in that bottle into a glass that Ray was holding. “The doctors said healing would take a few weeks, but we have a Schwoz! And, we have the Bang Bang Bubbly!” He offered her the glass.

“What is this?” She asked, not taking it.

“It’s a sparkling brandywine with fast healing properties and stuff in it that tastes great, makes you feel invincible and bangs out all of your injuries from the inside out!” Ray cheered. “Doesn’t work for me, because I’m indestructible, but the results in a typical human body are way way great!”

“Schwoz, what is this?” Charlotte repeated, taking the glass and studying it. Schwoz explained it to her and they went back and forth with her asking about side effects of certain ingredients and statistics of the countermeasures for those risks and Ray lost interest, but at the end of it, she sighed and said. “I’m gonna call Jasper and talk to him. Then, I’m gonna tell him about this. I’m gonna let him know that if something happens to me, it was this and you can deal with whatever that’ll mean for you.”

Ray scoffed. “I’m not afraid of Jasper!” 

“I’ve gotten him his own stash of Jolly beetle tears.” 

Ray gasped, “Why would you even HAVE those???”

“I did a major global study using them to break down certain unstable molecules and other very important usages that don’t revolve around you, but definitely was an important time for me to stock up and also invest in them. I knew we’d meet again and you won’t catch me slipping, Ray Manchester.” She began to dial Jasper’s number while Ray folded his arms. 

“Hey!” Jasper answered, excited, but tired sounding.

“Hey. So, I woke up to something truly weird…” 

“Ray and Schwoz excitedly trying to convince you to drink their Bang Bang Bubbly?”

She looked at the two of them, waiting with anticipation of her drinking it and turned away from them, making a suspicious and confused face. “Yes, but something more weird. I got this message from my man, and he was all weirdly sounding like he was blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault or thinking for some reason that I blamed him.”

She could hear the relief in his next words. “I just wanted to make sure that we’re okay. I wanted to give you your recovery time without me, because I wasn’t sure how you were gonna process that I didn’t help you.”

“You did, though. How would it have helped me for you to punch that guy?”

“It would have helped me.”

“Okay, I don’t know how, but thank you for putting my wellness above your ego.”

“I hate it. I’m glad that you’re okay, but I hate that I didn’t slam him just as hard to the ground…”

“So far, I’ve been alerted that the Bilskys, my family’s lawyers and that girl Karma that I fucks with are all gunning for him. I just want to stop being in pain and to…” She looked at Ray and Schwoz, nearly bursting with excitement. “... Be able to cuddle with my Booty Bear."

"Okay!" Ray said and promptly left. Schwoz smiled and was still waiting on her to try his stuff. She shot it and handed him the glass, then her eyes watered. Jasper was about to say something, but she began panting and whimpering.

"You tried the Bubbly," Jasper observed.

"Why does it feel like my mouth and insides are on fire???"

"That means it's working," Schwoz and Jasper said simultaneously, one next to her and the other on the phone.

.

She crept out of the room and went to explore, clad in one of Jasper’s shirts that she sometimes wore to bed/around the apartment. Now that Henry was out heroeing, she had a chance to explore his place without an obligatory tour. She loved all of the flowers! They had always had plenty of flowers when she lived with him, too, but never this much. Plus, he had an indoor herb garden that the naturalista in her was craving to get to know better. Every plant was so healthy and it was like she could feel the vibrations of them and sense the love that went into making them strong. The artwork on the walls were a mixture of styles. She could tell that Henry pretty much just got things that he liked, and wasn’t going with a theme. The biggest painting was the one of him with flowers. She wondered who was commissioned to do it, because the details were excellent. 

Each room seemed like it was in a different home, because so many of the vibes differed. Like, the bedroom that she was staying in was natural colors, browns, greens, neutrals, warm shades, filled with green plants, and had large uncovered windows, with plants outside of them. It was the perfect kind of room for her. It made her feel extremely comfortable and relaxed. There was a room that sort of looked like it was a cabin on a ship and had a fountain, so water sounds and earthy tones that seemed like a man cave,  but not a busy one - somewhere you might go to become grounded. His living room was white, near the stairway, with plants on the wall and hanging from the ceiling in white globes, and the couch was sleek and black. It looked like he never used this room. All over the place were different goddess statues, most of which Charlotte recognized from mythology lessons years ago, but a few unfamiliar. There were poignant paintings, like one that was of a dark skinned woman, bound in chains and engulfed in flames, like a Black anima sola. It made her feel troubled to see it. There was a Black Madonna, that she couldn’t lie… KINDA looked a lot like her, but with a golden halo and stars and stuff. Then, there were others that weren’t as emotional - a list of Scorpio Men Facts: “The Scorpio Male Is Intensely Sexual, He Needs Deep Intensity, He Has Great Stamina, You Get What You Give in Love With Scorpio Men… HA! Lying ass. You get lying asses with Scorpio men.” Then, there was a holographic photo of fish swimming, like in an aquarium simulation. She furrowed her eyebrows and explored on.

Outside of his bedroom was a hallway of framed photos of the three of them, of course, all outdated, since she hadn’t taken a photo with he and Jasper in years. She opened the door to the bedroom (that was how she realized it was the bedroom), and she saw a beautiful, elegant white and gold bedroom with white and yellow (she presumed fake) flowers sprinkled along the ground, and a bed with an ornate gold canopy adorned with sheer drapery. 

Normally, she wouldn’t have walked into someone’s bedroom, but she was now invested in the absolute lavishness of it and stepped in to look at the detailing of the headboard, and noticed other things, like the mirrored wall behind the bed, and floral designs in the gold of the bed and lamps. There were flower petals in the bed and she picked up and few to touch, and saw that those were real. Then she heard him clear his throat. She yelped. “Sorry, I wasn’t snooping. I was just looking around…” She said, dropping the petals. She stood up and looked up at him, still in his Feel Good uniform, a dark burgundy and blue armored outfit with silver and black accents and tools. She hadn’t seen him in it before. He… looked really good… “I gave myself a tour and the room was so pretty, I just wanted a closer look.”

“It’s all good. Make yourself at home,” he said and blew a bubble, which transformed him back to his regular self, in a t-shirt and jeans. He still looked really good, to her. “Did you sleep well?” He asked.

“I did. But, Schwoz came in with Bang Bang Bubbly, and now, I’m restless.”

“Yeah, that stuff is something else. But, it gets you healed quickly.” He was standing, with his hands in his pockets and they were quiet for a moment, before he said, “Oh, damn. I’m so rude. Have you eaten? I can make you something.”

“I haven’t, but Jasper was on his way over, so I thought we might get something.”

“I’ll call him and let him know I’ll cook. The least that I can do is be a good host, after getting you slammed onto concrete.”

“Why is everybody trying to take credit for that? I’m certainly not about to blame myself because I got up and walked towards her. He made a choice, and I’m pressing charges.”

Henry’s face brightened, “Thank God. I thought you’d wake up hating me even more.”

“I don’t hate you. I hate that you hurt me. I hate that I trusted you. I hate how things ended. But, I’ve decided not to hate any person for being whoever they are. Trying that whole “hate the sin, not the sinner” trope.”

“How’s it working?”

“To be honest, I feel like I’m more upset to have learned about how much you hurt Jasper.” He winced. “I mean, I know I can be a bitch, and I know that a lot of the time, I was insufferable. I can easily look back on past me and think that cheating on me was not as criminal as it felt at the time. Not saying that I don’t blame you for your choices, just that I understand them better, the older that I get. You still should have been my friend enough to be honest with me where you weren’t happy or satisfied, but… what happened with Jasper? No vague shit, no sugar coding. Tell me what you did to him.”

“I’m feeling like at this point, if Henry REALLY wants us to love him again, or at least me, he’s gonna have to start just being straightforward and straight up with me. Jasper and I are on two very different wavelengths, so it takes something different to appease me. I’m tired of being kept in the dark about Jasper, when they both know everything about what happened between Henry and I.”

Henry sighed, ran a hand through his hair and held his hand out towards the bed. She sat down and he joined her and began to tell her the truth.

“It all just kinda happened. It started out as a fling, a rebound, after you left… Like… three months after you left, actually… Well, if I’m being honest, it began before that. Jasper and I experimented in school. Nothing major, just making out and handies and stuff. But, that was shut down automatically when you and I hooked up, then you and I got together and I never thought about Jasper that way, really. I still thought he was attractive and lovable, but for me, we were done. When you and me were together those 4 years, Jasper, I guess didn’t get over me as easily and so whenever you and me broke up, he was there for me in a way that I wasn’t expecting. But, I was hurting and I needed it, whether or not it occurred to me that I needed him. 

About a year later, he started talking about our ‘anniversary,’ like… we were together or something, and don’t get me wrong, we had been going pretty hard and heavy for a year, at that point, but I hadn’t expected a year of that to pass by. Jasper was just so good to me and so easy to be with. A year in, I still wasn’t emotionally where I needed to be in order to be good back to him. So, I told him that I didn’t want to put any labels on us…” “I was pretty scared of being in a relationship after what happened with Char. I didn’t realize at the time that being involved with Jasper the way that I was, WAS being in a relationship with him. I felt like we were two dudes who loved each other, having a good time together.”

“So… Whenever he spoke about this one year anniversary, I chickened out. I self sabotaged. I would try to tell him, but I’d see his face and lose the nerve. I knew that I was gonna hurt him, and I figured that it was best just not to tell him, even though I wasn’t happy and the fact that I was doing stuff behind his back was a huge portion of why I wasn’t happy…”

“Why didn’t you just STOP? You had your degree by then, didn’t you?”

“I had studied psychology, but I don’t know. I hadn’t sorted through my own things and hadn’t become self aware yet. My mom went to a specialist for a sex addiction. She didn’t tell me until around that time, because she heard things about me and was worried that maybe I had her sickness.” He laughed and shook his head, “I wasn’t addicted to sex. I was addicted to doing something terrible that I could get caught doing, and the fact that someone could be hurt again if I got caught… I didn’t care in the moment. Jasper saw mw leaving somewhere with a woman and whenever he tried to get in touch with me, I didn’t answer. When I got home, I told him that I was doing hero stuff. He didn’t believe me and we wound up arguing and I told him that I had slipped up a little, because I missed women.” Henry looked so ashamed as he shook his head, “He said that he understood and just asked me to be more open with him, said that he was willing to open up our relationship if it meant that I didn’t lie to him about being with women. And… so… we tried that, and a little later, I met a new guy.” 

Charlotte took a deep breath and clenched her fists. “And, what, you cheated on Jasper again, this time with a guy?”

“Yes, but the guilt was killing me, so a few months after we were seeing each other secretly, I told Jasper…”

*Flashback Sequence*

After two years of being involved with Jasper, and technically one year, as far as Henry was concerned, Jasper wanted to celebrate their 2 year anniversary. He cooked, baked, set the atmosphere, with music and candles and flowers. Henry just couldn’t stand to lie to him anymore. He stopped him mid-kiss and said, “Jasper, we have to stop this.” Jasper was rightfully confused. He picked up the remote and turned off the music, to hear whatever Henry had to say, “I… I… don’t think that I’m meant to be a monogamous person.”

“You haven’t been, though. We have an open relationship, because I understood that sometimes you don’t want a man…”

“I’ve been seeing a man.” Jasper’s heart sank.

“What do you mean “been seeing?” Like… regularly? Not some one off mistake, but like… SEEING someone?” He glanced around for something to hold on to, grabbed the wine bottle and took a swig.

“Yeah. I’ve been seeing him for like 4 months, almost…” Jasper started crying and chugging the bottle. “I never meant for it to happen, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being this person behind your back and then becoming someone else whenever I’m with you. I do love you and I never meant to hurt you, but being with you was never my intention and I shouldn’t have let it go this far.”

“Let it GO THIS FAR? What the fuck are you talking about right now?”

“I’m just letting you know that you don’t have to worry about me cheating anymore, if that’s how you see this. Because, it’s over. I can’t do “us,” anymore.”

Jasper huffed out a pained gust of air and dropped the wine bottle. Henry quickly caught it before it could hit the ground. He set it down and said, “Um… You don’t have to pack your own things. I’ll box it up and send it to your mom’s.”

“I’m not leaving here! YOU leave. You’re the one who cheated!”

“Cheated is a strong word. We never used labels. I just didn’t tell you right away when I moved on. And… You can’t afford this place on your own, Jasper. Come on.”

“I’m not leaving this goddamned apartment while my world is fucking falling apart, you complete and utter asshole!”

“Okay. We’ll give it some time. I’ll go stay in Man Cave, and pack up my things whenever I know that you aren’t here. That way, we don’t have to deal with each other, until we’re ready to try to get past this.”

Jasper stared at him, not crying now, just in awe of what kind of person he was looking at - this stranger that he thought was his forever love. Who the fuck was this man? “Can you at least PRETEND to be a good person right now?”

“I pretend to be a good person every time I blow a bubble. Every time I save someone’s life. Every time I help someone’s day. I’m TIRED of pretending to be a good person. I just want to be able to be a person! And have somebody love /that/ person, without all these rules and regulations and expectations that I never gave you! I’m human. I make mistakes. I forgive you your mistakes all of the time, you can’t forgive me mine?” He snapped. Jasper didn’t know where THIS was coming from, but it seemed like he was speaking to someone else. He was thinking about Charlotte. Because, there had never been anything that Jasper hadn’t forgiven him for, until now.

Jasper stood up, hovering over Henry with a desperate look on his face. He wanted so badly to forgive him this. To say it was okay and that they didn’t need to be together and Henry didn’t have to lose him, but this...hurt him. “Your mistakes break people’s hearts, Henry! They break people’s lives. Charlotte is not the same person, and I’m seeing that I never will be the same again, either.”

Now, Henry became wounded. He was feeling attacked and therefore defensive and lashed back at Jasper, like he hadn’t already hurt him enough. He stood up quickly and Jasper stepped back, unsure if this might get physical. But, Henry blurted, “Charlotte at least loved me. She took me seriously. She told me what she needed and wanted and I tried and fell short. Charlotte could be a raging bitch, but I never had to guess what she expected from me. I never had to wonder if she cared or if this was just for mutual enjoyment and comfort. We had something very different and you comparing what happened with us to what happened with me and you is trash, Jasper! You freely gave me whatever I wanted and we never agreed that I had to be your faithful one true love or anything for that matter. If you wanted more from me, was I supposed to read your mind? I was just supposed to figure it out by the way that you never told me? I never did anything to directly hurt or harm you. I kept my sidelife out of your business, just in case that made you uncomfortable, because I wouldn’t have known one way or another, from the way that you just agreed to whatever I gave you! So, the fact that you took us so seriously and made up in your head some type of future that I could have told you we’d never have seems like a lot to try to put on my shoulders, alone!”

Jasper stumbled backwards and caught himself, but he was now crying again, “I am telling you that you broke my heart and you’re telling me how it was my fault.”

“I’m explaining to you why I didn’t realize that you felt the way that you felt!”

“And now that you realize, what do you plan to do about it?”

“I’m gonna set you free, Dude. I can’t do what you need me to do. I can’t be who you need me to be. I can’t be the good person that you want me to pretend to be, because I use too much energy being the good person that being a superhero needs me to be. I love you too much to keep doing this to you, now that I know how you feel.”

“Couldn’t you just… stop? Am I not enough that you can’t just love and be in love with me?”

“I could. I would… But, I feel like I’ve already crossed too many lines for you to be able to believe it from me, at this point. You’d never trust me again, no matter what I did, and I’d see it and I’d act on it. I’m… not ready to fight for love. I have to fight for so many things… Myself just doesn’t seem like enough to me.”

“And I’m not enough either?”

“More than enough, Jasp. You’re so much better than what I’ve given you and what I ever will. So… I’m gonna go, and hopefully you’ll be able to forgive me enough to at least let me try to be your friend again someday. Hopefully, I haven’t broken you in the same way that I broke her.”

“No, you’ve broken me harder, because I’ve been in love with you since we were kids and you just…” He shook his head, “Go ahead. You can leave, now. I won’t beg you anymore. I won’t ask anything else of you.”

.

“The next thing I heard from, well about him was that he had called him mom and asked her if he needed to come back home, would he be able to. He told her that we broke up and he wasn’t sure if he could make it. He said later on that he was talking about the rent, and that makes sense, but when he said that he didn’t know if he could make it, she went over there to check on him and he’d taken a bunch of pills, drank all of the alcohol that we had in the place and collapsed. He says he didn’t do it on purpose, but Char… I’d never seen him so upset, and I knew that I did that, AGAIN, to somebody that I was supposed to love. I wanted to hurt myself, at that point. I was alone and it was my fault and I decided that I would never in my life let anybody get that close to me again. “I don;t want a relationship,” became the first words that I said to any interested parties. I picked my specialty and worked on my degree and enjoyed myself as much as I could, grateful that whenever I reached out to Jasper, he cautiously began speaking to me again, and not surprised that I couldn’t contact you, at all. Neither could he, at that point.”

“Yeah, I cut him off when he told me that you two were together. He said it apologetically, but I was still bothered. We hadn’t been apart long enough, to me. But… so… do you think that Jasper really would have tried to hurt himself?”

“I hope not. I wanna believe that he wouldn’t, but I don’t know. It was a really bad night for him.”

“Couldn’t wait until after the anniversary or not waste his time before?”

“I didn’t even realize that it had been the anniversary, or even consider it to be an anniversary.”

“When did you finally take accountability? Because, it just sounds like you apologized and Jasper forgave you, like he always does. But, did you ever actually say, “These are all the ways that I fucked up and I notice this and I hate this. I know that I can’t take it back, but I will never do anything like this again, to any human being, ever?”

“I unpack this in therapy.”

“You’re… You’re in therapy?”

“Don’t you think I need it?”

“Definitely, I just didn’t know that you were in it.”

“That little results, huh?”

“You’re definitely different than the dude that I punched in the face. I just hadn’t figured out if it were an act or not, until now.” He looked hopeful, like he was waiting on something. She rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders, “I guess, I believe that you’ve changed. I mean, I don’t know that I’ll ever consider you a friend again, but I can acknowledge that you seem to be a better person now.”

“That’s great! Can I hug you?” He asked. She hestitated and he said, “Sorry, that’s stupid.”

“No, it’s just that I’m still pretty sore.”

“Oh. I can be gentle with you?” She tentatively held her arms open and he eagerly, but slowly and gently took her into a hug and sat there for a while. It had been so long, but scents and sensations that he thought had died with time immediately were revived and he could recall so many moments of touching her before. “I’ve missed you every single day that we’ve been apart,” he whispered.

She pulled away and stood up. “I’d better go get ready for the day, for Jasper…” 

He nodded, “I’ll start cooking.” She hurried away, flustered by his words and the close proximity of him, but not wanting to admit that. He knew it, though. There was no way that type of electricity had been one sided. He unlocked a drawer on his nightstand and opened it to look at a box that matched the room, and had her name scripted across the top and dressed with flowers. He opened it and looked at a stack of letters that he had written her… He had promised himself that if he ever got a chance to see her again, he’d give this to her… but… She was with Jasper. If she was with anyone else… And… he didn’t even know how he felt about Jasper. Well, he DID know. But, this must be his atonement, having to see the two of them together and happy in love, knowing that both of them had some feeling for him, whether or not they’d admit it, and experiencing everyone ignoring those, because the moral to the story was not to hurt people the way that he had, because the hurt would come back, tenfold. He slammed the box and the drawer and locked it back, right as he heard the doorbell. Henry got up and shuffled to the door, but Charlotte was there, already, peeking through the peep hole, with her little boy shorts peeking out of the bottom of Jasper’s shirt. She said, “It’s him,” and opened the door. 

Jasper came in, picked her up into a hug and kissed her. She laughed and squeezed him. Henry tried not to point out that they had seen each other YESTERDAY, because, they had. But, also, he knew that Jasper was feeling guilty when he last saw her and that she had just learned about an ugly part of his past that he obviously couldn’t talk to her about. So… he just smiled and said, “Hopefully, you’re hungry. I’m gonna cook.”

Jasper nodded, “Cool! Hopefully, I can still stay over? I brought clothes.”

“Yeah! Of course. I’ll love having both of you…. NOT HAVING! But… both of you sleeping over. Your room is untouched.”

“Your room?” Charlotte asked. “You got a room here? Which one is it?”

“The one that looks like a ship, but no… I was just gonna sleep in Charlotte’s room, if that’s okay?” He looked down at her, “You’ve got a room too. The one that you stayed in last night.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, “Like.. that room was MADE for me?” They nodded. “What? Why?”

“Just in case you ever came back,” Henry said and smiled, softly. “Make yourselves comfortable and I shall be of service.”

Jasper smiled fondly at Henry and Charlotte felt a ping of jealousy, but then a bigger ping of guilt. How could she be jealous, when she’d just melted against Henry’s muscles like heated chocolate fondue? She just silently prayed that the camera wasn’t focused on her face… either of those moments.

[5hfanfiction]

Seasons (Camren one-shot)

trigger warning for mental and physical abuse.

the poem is not mine, i simply found it online and wrote a fic based on it.

in autumn i found a boy who asked me to cut my hair and said i love you only after sex and six shots i sipped tea and told my friends about him they said if you’re happy and knew i was not.  

(Part I: Akio)

Lauren never really liked autumn. She didn’t like the fact that summer vacation is over and she has to go back to school and deal with annoying kids, teachers and homework. She didn’t like autumn because the weather was being a little bitch and the days were getting shorter and shorter. It’s all about Halloween and pumpkins, and it was a flue season.

Lauren hated autumn. She hated it up until the first day of her junior year when Miss Peterson called her into her office and asked her to give a tour to the new boy in school, Akio.

She didn’t expect the day to go any different than all the other days she had inside of that building.

However, as soon as she stepped into the building she was called into Miss Peterson’s office, leaving her no time to greet her friends. 

“Lauren, it’s so lovely to see you.” Miss Peterson said with a tired smile on her face

“Yeah, uh, you too.” Lauren stumbled upon her words

Truth be told, she wasn’t sure why she’s even here.

“I was wondering,” Miss Peterson started “if you’d be so kind and show Akio around the school. He’s new in here, just moved from Memphis.”

Just then, the green eyed girl noticed a very attractive Asian boy sitting on the couch in the corner of the room.

“Of course Miss.” She nodded

Now, Lauren Jauregui, probably the student with the best grades in the whole school, didn’t really feel like being a tour guide to a new kid on the block. However, when the new kid looks like a freaking model, Lauren Jauregui can not say no to the offer.

As Lauren is showing him around she finds out that Akio is a senior and moved to Miami just last week. His mother had died from cancer when he was only five, leaving his father with three kids, two of them being just a year and a half old.

She doesn’t talk much, mostly explains where his classes will be and gives him tips on the teachers, who’s good and who’s bad, who you can joke around with and who doesn’t know what a joke is.

“So, that would be it. I’ve showed you the classrooms, told you about the teachers, showed you your locker. Oh, one more thing. Lunch. On Tueday we have pizza and it’s actually really good, and on Thursday rice with sea food, any other day you better bring your food. Considering you’re a senior, you’re allowed to leave the school area during lunch break, but if you don’t come back, they call your parents. 

"What about sports?” Akio questions

“For boys there’s basketball, baseball and football. However, I heard this year they will add waterpolo.”

“What about soccer?”

“Soccer?”

“You know what a soccer is, right?" 

"Of course I do.” Lauren laughs “No, we don’t have it. There’s a local soccer team around, I’m not sure where. Why don’t you put your number in my phone and I’ll text you later during the day when I find out.”

“Sounds great.” He flashes her his best smile as he takes the phone from Lauren’s hand

As the day go Lauren finds herself texting Akio a lot more for them to be just acquaintances. Most of her time she spends showing Akio around the city, showing him all the good places she’d never probably even think about going in, if it wasn’t for her. As promised, she tells him about the soccer team and comes to his try-out and then to most of his practices. 

But it’s not like the friendship is one-sided because every Monday and Wednesday she finds him on the bleachers cheering up for her during her softball practices.

Eventually, Akio becomes a bit more popular than she expected him to be and Lauren gets insecure about their friendship being over now that he’s a part of the popular crowd.

He makes sure to show her there’s no need to be insecure and still spends ever Monday evening at her place as they watch movies with her siblings and friends. Something that’s been going on since her freshman year.

Somewhere between staying up until two in the morning to text Akio and smiling at his stupid jokes, Lauren falls herself falling for him.

She’s not surprised when one Wednesday after her practice she finds him leaning on the fence, but she is surprised when she sees him holding a bouquet of flowers.

“What’s this? Going on a date?” She tries to joke

“Depends, will you join me?”

For a moment or two, Lauren’s sure she’s dreaming, she even pinches herself, causing Akio to let out a softly laugh.

“Wait, what?”

“Will you go out on a date with me? I really like you Lauren and if I’m not wrong I think you like me too.”

“You’re not wrong.” Lauren mumbles, her cheeks blushing.

“So, it’s a date?” Akio asks hopefully

“It’s a date.”

And a date it was. That weekend, he took her out to her favorite hole in the wall, paid for their meal and for all rounds of pool and air hockey they played. And by doing that, earned himself a good night kiss.

Naturally, their friendship transformed from a very good friendship to a relationship. The one that left Lauren a blushing mess whenever she spoke about it. Akio was a catch, everyone knew that.

But then Friday nights started to become parties after a game and Akio would either drink to celebrate the win or drink because they lost the game. At first Lauren didn’t mind. There’s nothing new about teenagers drinking on weekends, she even did it herself on a few occasions.

The first time she heard him saying those three words was exactly on one of those parties, right after they finished yet another round of taking Vodka shots, or perhaps it was Tequila, Lauren wasn’t sure, she didn’t try it.

Her heart skipped a beat as the words left his mouth.

She wanted to tell him she loves him too but his breath smelled like alcohol and his eyes were red.

“You’re drunk Akio.” She said

“Perhaps, but I do love you.”

The second time he said it was right after their first time together. It happened spontaneously while they were babysitting his siblings one night. The kids went to sleep and Akio and Lauren decided to watch a movie and cuddle in his room. 

Cuddling turned into kissing, kissing turned into heated make-out session which turned into sex.

He was gentle, and caring and the three words slipped his mouth as he watched Lauren going down on him.

And that’s mostly how it went, he’d never really say it when he was sober of alcohol or adrenaline.

“You’d look hot with a short hair.” He said one day as they sat on the beach

“You think so?”

He hummed in confirm and pulled out his phone. Lauren saw him liking another girl’s instagram post and told herself it’s nothing.

It wasn’t nothing though, she caught him liking more and more pictures of other girls, looking at them as they passed by, checking them out, even smiling and waving at them.

So, she cut her hair.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” He said as she stepped into his room

He was half naked and sweaty from his work-out and when he invited Lauren to join him for a shower, she didn’t say no. Although, she just took a shower before coming to his place.

The three words echoed through his tiny bathroom as he pumped into Lauren, slowly at firs tbut then harder and faster.

Ally was the first one to notice the change in Lauren, to notice the darkness in her usually bright green eyes.

Although the two girls barely saw each other, considering Ally left for college, they still managed to stay close. Lauren told her a lot about Akio.

“As long as you’re happy.” Ally sad with a sad smile on her face one Saturday afternoon as she took a sip of her chamomile tea

Lauren added some sugar into her cup and mixed her strawberry-vanilla tea with a tea spoon before speaking.

“I am.”

And they both knew that she’s lying.

 in winter i kissed a girl who tasted like cigarettes and said  “i love you” all the time but hurt herself whenever i made mistakes  she threatened to kill herself if i ever left my friends watched my wash my hands  and did not tell me to test that  

(Part II: Naomi)

Somewhere between November and December Lauren’s relationship status changed from in a relationship to single. Not the one on her Facebook profile, that one will probably be single even when Lauren is happily married with the third kid on the way, she wasn’t even sure if she still knows the password.

Akio was a stranger to her by now, quite literally. The sweet boy she met at the first day of school year and the boy who by now ruled the high school was not the same person. Sure, he looked the same and had the same name but everything else about him was different. The way his smile never quite reached his eyes anymore, or how his sweet innocent laugh turned into the evil one, even the tone of his voice was sharper and deeper, cruel even.

At the end of December, when Akio was almost forgotten, Lauren got invited to Lucy’s New Year’s Eve party.

To be invited to Lucy Vives’ party you have to leave a an impression on her. Lauren did that in her fifth grade when she spilled her dirty water all over Lucy’s canvas and apologized so many times with so many candies that on the fifth day after it happened Lucy told her for the last time it’s not a big deal(although it kind of was) and that if she says she’s sorry one more time, they’re not friends.

So, Lauren didn’t apologize for it again, and they became friends. Best friends, Lauren would dare to say.

Now, Lauren and Alexa were standing in front of Vives household and patiently waited for someone to open the door for them.

When the door finally opened, Lauren gasped. In front of her, in a long black dress was dark skinned version of Greek goddess Aphrodite herself.

“Hello,” she flashed them a smile, her eyes lingering on Lauren a bit more “I’m Naomi.”

“Alexa, and Lauren.” Alexa introduced herself and Lauren and walked into the house

“Where’s Luce?”

“In the kitchen, preparing drinks. Some cocktails I think. How do you know her?”

“We shared an art class in fifth grade. What about you?”

Naomi lets out a chuckle. “Kinda the same. We take art classes together.”

“Oh the ones she takes every Thursday?”

“Mhm. So, do you like art?”

“I drew half the pictures that are hanging on Lucy’s walls.” Lauren shrugs

“So, you’re the famous LMJ. Perhaps you should join our art class.”

“I don’t know. I’m not that good. Like, Lucy’s work–”

“Just because Lucy’s work is good, doesn’t mean yours isn’t. What are you doing ever Thursday afternoon?”

Lauren thought for a second about her question. Ever since her break-up with Akio, Lauren spent her Thursdays doing everything and nothing, unlike when she was in a relationship and spent her Thursdays afternoons watching her now ex-boyfriend playing soccer.

“Nothing.” She replied eventually.

“Perfect, I’ll tell Lucy to pick you up before class.”

And with that, Naomi turned around and disappeared into the crowded room.

The next time Lauren caught a glimpse of her was when she was just in the middle of her rant about weed being a good thing.

“I agree.” A voice behind her said and sent shivers all over her body

“You’re a stoner.” One of the girls next to Lauren laughed

“I barely smoke weed.” Naomi defended herself “But it is healthy, if you don’t abuse the taking.”

“Thanks for backing me up.” Lauren offered a smile “I owe you one.”

“I’ll be sure to think of something I want then.” The dark skinned girl smirked

“I’ll be waiting.” Lauren winked

Lauren’s playing with fire. She knew that to Noami it could be just a game, and perhaps it should be just a game to her too. However, when midnight came and she felt Naomi’s lips on her own and Naomi’s arms wrapped around her neck, she knew that this is the game she wants to play.

Naomi tasted like cigarettes which wasn’t a surprise because the whole night she had been lighting up one after another, her pack of Camel cigarettes gone in less than three hours.

But Lauren liked the way she kissed her, and decided that tasting a bit of cigarettes is worth it if it means getting a kiss from Naomi.

Lauren becomes regular visitor in Lucy’s art class, and she finds herself making out with Naomi on more occasions. Like, whenever they had some free time.

Naomi’s an artist, Lauren knew that. What she didn’t know is that when there’s no canvas and brushes around, Naomi turns her body into canvas and the razors she keeps under her mattress into brushes. 

The first time Lauren sees it, they’re in Naomi’s room and she’s wearing only shorts and a crop top. 

She’s sitting on top of Lauren, straddling her, as her lips attack Lauren’s neck hungrily. 

Lauren’s hands are roaming all over her body and when she grabs her by her hips, Naomi lets out a whine. Lauren knows when she’s whining in pleasure and this isn’t one of those times.

“What’s wrong?" 

"Nothing.” Naomi pulls away

“Did I hurt you?”

“No–”

“Did you hurt yourself?”

And when Naomi doesn’t reply, Lauren takes it as a yes. She has read about it online, someone people do it on their wrist and some hide it all over their body.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I just wanna make out for now.”

And Lauren can’t do much but kiss her again.

They don’t talk much about it, Lauren tries to but Naomi shuts her down almost always.

Unlike Akio who would only told her he loves her after sex and six shots, Naomi makes sure to tell her almost every day. Technically, they’ve been together for almost two months and perhaps this game isn’t what Lauren though it’s gonna be.

Naomi cares, perhaps too much. She cares to the point where if Lauren does something slightly out of line, she blames herself. And when she blames herself, she decides to punish herself.

Lauren realizes it became too serious at one point and decides to talk to her about it. She’s not sure what to say, but she needs to say something.

She takes a deep breath as she walks into Naomi’s room.

It’s like Naomi knows because as soon Lauren opens her mouth and not a word comes out, Naomi is a crying mess.

She’s screaming and crying and Lauren is pretty sure that the dark skinned girl is shaking.

“You can’t leave me!”

“I’m not leaving you, I just–”

“If you leave me, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. If I don’t have you, my life isn’t worth living. I’m gonna kill myself if I lose you Lauren.”

“You won’t.” Is the only thing Lauren can say before hugging her tightly

It takes minutes until Noami somewhat calms down and Lauren offers to go to the kitchen and get her some water.

When she comes back, there’s a blood stained towel on the floor next to Noami’s bed and the black skinned girl is already asleep.

Lauren’s not sure what to do, so she texts Lucy to come over.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t test it.” Lucy says as she watched Lauren washing off the now dried blood from her hands

“You’re right.”

“But also, find a way to make it less toxic.”

in spring i spent some time with a boy who told me it was his way or no way and when i challenged that, he told me “i love you and that’s why i’m doing this” my friends saw my bruises and gripped my wrists while i said“i deserve him’" 

(Part III: Rick)

The last time Lauren heard from Naomi was when the girl called her after two weeks of no-one knowing anything about her. Her parents moved to Orlando and she moved to a mental hospital. 

A part of Lauren couldn’t help but blame herself, although she knew that’s not true.It wasn’t her fault.

"You need to loosen up a bit, Lo.” Normani told her as the two of them sat in Normani’s room, doing homework

“I’m fine Mani.”

“No, you’re not. We’re going out tonight. I’m texting the girls.”

“I don’t want to.” Lauren whined

“Well, fucking deal it it. It’s April already and I’m not gonna sit here and watch you blaming yourself for someone else’s breakdown." 

Lauren only nodded, perhaps Normani was right.

Three hours later Lauren is gripping Normani’s hand as they walked into Diamonds. 

"Will you relax before you break my hand?”

“We’re underage Mani.”

“Are you really telling me you don’t have fake I.D.?”

“I bought it so I can vote.”

“And I bought mine so I can buy alcohol, and you’ll do the same with yours sister.”

“Mani.” Lauren whines

“I’ll buy you a first drink and then it’s all on you.”

“If you don’t mind,” a deep voice from behind them says “I’d like to be the one who buys her a first drink tonight.”

Lauren and Normani turn around to see a tall red-haired boy smiling at them.

“And who are you?” Normani questioned

“Rick, nice to meet you ladies.”

“I’m Normani, and the girl you’re buying a drink is Lauren.”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.”

“If you’re gonna be that lame–”

“It was a joke.” Rick interrupts Normani’s rant and looks at Lauren “Not all of it. You really are beautiful.”

Throughout the whole night Rick stays around with Lauren and her friends and whenever he’s not looking, Normani and Dinah are smirking at them.

As the night is coming to an end, his hand find its place on Lauren’s bare legs and she feels her skin getting on fire.

Now, she’s not a one-night girl, usually. However, something about Rick makes her think unholy thoughts.

She drags him to do the dancing floor and starts sexually dancing for him, making sure he gets as turned on as she is, which is a lot by now.

And he does, his hands are gripping Lauren’s hips and pulling her closer and the smirk on his face doesn’t move away until Lauren’s lips replace it instead. 

Lauren finds herself intoxicated as she kisses him. They both taste like Whiskey-Cola, Lauren’s drink of the night.

“It’s hot in here.” Lauren whispers into his ear

“It is.” He nods but pulls Lauren closer anyway

“Perhaps we should go somewhere else.” Lauren suggests

That’s all he need to hear before dragging her back to their table so they can grab their stuff.

“Be careful, I’ll see you tomorrow, text me.” Normani mumbles into Lauren’s neck as she hugs her goodbye

“See you mama.” Lauren replies before walking away

One night stand, that’s what Lauren told herself as she watched Rick driving to his place. Nothing more.

But fuck, how can it be nothing more when Lauren is letting out screams and moans of pleasure as he flicks his tongue through her wet folds, when he thrusts into Lauren so hard, when he fucks her so good that it only leaves her wanting more?

One night stand turns into countless fucking sessions, and Rick turns from a stranger to a fuck buddy, for the lack of words.

There’s nothing else going on, there’s no feelings and Lauren’s not even sure if they’d be friends if it wasn’t for the fact that he knows how to please her.

They probably wouldn’t.

She’s not quite sure why she gets so distressed when she walks into his apartment one evening and finds him fucking a blonde girl on the table, the same table she was bent across just two days ago.

She just stands there as she watches the blonde reaching her climax. Not quite sure what to say or do.

It kind of bothers her, the fact that he said she’s not allowed to be with anyone else(not that she wanted to, anyway) but here he is, fucking another girl.

And then he sees her and flashes her a smile. He fucking smiles at her and she kind of feels sick.

He tells her to go to his room and for some reason, she does as told. She waits for a few minutes and tries to listen to his conversation with Barbie. She hears the door closing and his footsteps coming closer.

There’s still a smile on his face as he opens the bedroom door and it makes Lauren snap.

She snaps at him, starts yelling at him, screaming, punching him.

He only grabs her wrists tightly, to the point when she finally lets go, there’s blue prints as a reminder.

“What’s gotten into you?" 

"You are fucking around!”

“I can fuck who I want to Lauren!”

“Then do as you wish." 

She makes her way towards the door but he once again grabs her wrist and pulls her back. A moment later he’s angrily kissing her and she moans into the kiss.

He pins her against the wall and as he rip her clothes off and his mouth leave open mouth kisses all over her body, she forgets about him fucking that Barbie.

It continues like that, him fucking around and Lauren not being able to do anything, because they aren’t actually together.

He tells her he’ll pick her up on Friday after school and Lauren takes the opportunity to make him as jealous as she is sometimes.

She’d never admit it to anyone, but she’s sure that somewhere between multiple orgasms she had, she started to feel something for him.

She can see his car pulling up as she shamelessly flirts with a boy from her Spanish class. 

She can feel his eyes glued to her back but she doesn’t dare to turn around, she doesn’t want to turn around. Not yet.

Her phone buzzed and she pulls it out of her back pocket.

get in the car. now!!

She lets out a chuckle and says goodbye to Dante, making sure that Rick hears about Dante being at her place tomorrow. Of course, it’s nothing else but a school project, but Rick doesn’t have to know that.

Rick doesn’t say a word as he grips the steering wheel tightly. But as soon as they take a step into his apartment, Lauren’s being pushed against the door and his hand is in her hair, yanking it harshly.

He mumbles something about Lauren being only his to touch and how that little repulsive, repellent, obnoxious, nasty little scumbag is forbidden to ever even think of touching his Lauren.

And Lauren forgets about the pain he’s causing her because he just told her he belongs to him, and in a twisted way, her heart feels happy to heart that.

The next day Rick walks into her house just in time to see Dante leaning over the table and reaching for Lauren’s hand.

"Perhaps you should leave.” His announces himself

“Who the fuck are you?”

Rick raises his eyebrows and looks at Lauren.

“It’s okay Dante, you should leave, I’ll finish this and e-mail you your part.”

Dante huffs loudly but doesn’t say a word to Rick as he pack his stuff and walks over to the door.

“Be sure to e-mail it to me before five, so I can study.”

And before Lauren could reply, Rick slams the door.

“That was so fucking rude!” Lauren yells at him

“He was touching you Lauren.” Rick growls 

“He was not touching me!”

Rick’s eyes widen at Lauren’s outburst. Did she really raise her voice at him?

And then his palm collided with Lauren’s cheek and a tear strolled down her face.

She stood there in shock.

“I’m trying to protect you because I love you. I’m doing this because I love you.”

Those three words again. Three words that left Lauren speechless.

After realizing he won’t get an answer, he grabbed her bridal style and took her to her room.

Lauren felt as if she’s a prisoner in this whole thing they had going on. What even they had going on? She wasn’t sure. It wasn’t a relationship, but it wasn’t just fuck buddies either, not anymore.

Rick was nice for most of the time, except when Lauren would fuck up and deserved to be punished.

“What’s that?” Normani asked as she looked at Lauren’s wrist

Lauren’s eyes widened and she rolled down the sleeves of her plaid button-up shirt.

“Nothing.”

“Lauren–”

“I deserved it Mani, let it go.” Lauren cut her off before she could say a thing

in summer i wanted no one at all and when she walked into my life i didn’t expect to fall but she kisses like the devil while keeping all my demons away my friends held my gaze and told me  keep her. stay.

(Part IV: Camila)

Normani didn’t let it go. Of course she didn’t fucking let it go. She waited for another week and a half-maybe two to see what’s really going on.

And then she realized that Lauren’s too deep into this to swim out by herself and she, as her best friend, had to do something about it. 

“Hey, where’s lil Lo? Haven’t seen her around since I came few days ago.”

“Yeah,” Normani turned around to face her adopted older brother “neither have I.”

“Are you two fighting?”

“No, she has– there’s this guy we met–”

“Oh, boy drama.” Roshon smirked

“No, it’s– I think Lauren’s in an abusive relationship.”

“She’s what?” Roshon raised his voice

“Rosh.”

“No, Normani. Are you sure?”

“She didn’t tell me but there’s bruises all over her body and I know she’s into wild sex but this is different.”

Normani watched as her brother gripped the chair tightly and how his light brown eyes turned into a much darker shade.

“Do you know where he lives?”

“No.”

“I only know his name and how he looks.”

“Find him on Facebook.”

Normani nodded without hesitation.

“What are you gonna do?”

“Nicely ask him to back off.” Roshon shrugged

“By nicely–”

“Politely, classy. Words only.”

Normani nodded. But truth be told, Roshon didn’t need to use anything else but his words when it came to scaring people. He was a tall guy, full of muscles, and as if that wasn’t enough, of fucking course he knew how to win a match. After all, he did grew up on the street until he turned sixteen, and sometimes, that’s more than enough.

To anyone else, he was intimidating, but to Normani, he was a giant teddy bear. He was the one she’d cuddle up to when there was a storm outside, the one who would take her to the park, the one who played along as she threw tea parties for her toys, the one who wore a pink tutu because Normani looked at him with puppy eyes.

He was very thankful Normani’s parents found him on time and since the day his eyes met Normani’s, he promised to herself and to her that he will always protect her, even if it meant risking his own life.

A few phone calls and half an hour later, Roshon found himself in front of the fairly new building and rang the first bell he saw.

“Postman.” He said

He rolled his eyes as the woman let him in. He counted the numbers of apartments until he reached the third apartment on the left side of the fourth floor.

He knocked the door and waited for it to open.

Roshon lets out a scoff as he sees the boy in front of him.

“And you are?”  Rick asked, arrogance evident in his voice

“Prince charming. Where’s Lauren?” Roshon asked as he walked past Rick, into the apartment “Nice play.”

“The fuck you want?”

“Where’s Lauren?” Roshon repeated his question

For a split second Rick’s eyes were focused on one of the doors and Roshon took that as a sign before going there himself.

He almost let out a gasp as he saw Lauren, half-naked sitting on the bathroom floor with a bruised lip.

Lauren was surprised to see him, of course she was, but most of all, she was ashamed.

“Take your stuff and meet me in the car.” He said calmly to the green eyed girl

“She’s not going anywhere!” Rick yelled

“Excuse me?”

“She’s staying here with me.”

Roshon didn’t pay much attention to Rick’s words, he was focused on making sure Lauren’s okay to stand on her own feet by herself and when he made sure she was, he turned around to face the red haired boy.

“Zack, is it?”

“Rick.”

“Right, same shit anyway. Listen here buddy. Lauren here is a very important person in my life. Very important. I promised my sister I’d protect her from everything and along the way, I promised myself that lil Lo will always have an older brother if she needs one. She looks like she needs one–”

“You don’t know shit!” Rick spat into his face

“Listen white boy, I’m not gonna fight you, I don’t fight weaker than me. However, if I ever see you anywhere near Lauren, if I even hear that you asked about her or tried to get in a contact with her, you’ll regret ever being alive. Is that clear?”

When Rick didn’t say anything, Roshon repeated his question.

“Is. That. Clear?!”

“Fuck you! And fuck her! Get out of my place!”

Roshon raised his eyebrow and pushed him to the floor, gently but strong enough that he actually falls.

“Mark my words white boy.” He said before walking out of the apartment

Lauren was thankful for a lot of things, but that night, as she cuddled herself closer to Normani’s warm body, she was thankful for her best friend.

It took her nearly three weeks until she could finally fall asleep without waking up in tears because she saw Rick in her dreams.

It was no secret he left a number on her. She became numb.

“Here mija, take this across the street to the new family and invite them over for the dinner.”

“What new family?” Lauren questioned as she looked at the basked her mother had prepared

“The one that just moved in. Honey, we’ve been talking about this for a few days now, where’s your mind been?”

Now that she thinks about it, she does remember something about it. Not all of it thought.

“All over the place.” Lauren mumbles dryly

“Get your shit together love. Can you take this over or should I ask Chris?”

“I’ll do it.” Lauren nods and gets up

She looks herself in the mirror to make sure she looks somewhat decent.

She scoffs as she thinks how just less than a year ago she looked so different than she does now.

Her long hair was now much shorter, there wasn’t even a tiny bit of it that was brown, now it was all black. She lost some weight and she kind of blames it on sleepless night she spent crying and all the days she spent not eating because just the thought of food made her sick to her stomach. Her pale skin was slowly but surely going back to being bronze, thanks to the fact she’s spending more time out on the sun with her friends than being someone’s punching bag in a dark room. 

Everything about her was different.

“You still look like a piece of crap.”

She flipped her brother off before grabbing the welcome to the neighborhood basket and walking out of the house.

She watched as the family of four carried their stuff inside the house and cleared her throat when she came near enough.

“Hello, um, I’m Lauren, Jauregui. Just across the street,” she pointed to her house “my mom sent me to give you this and wanted to know if you’d like to join us for dinner.”

“Oh honey, we don’t want to intrude.” The woman replied

“No, I insist.” Lauren smiled weakly 

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Tell your mother we’ll be there then. It was nice meeting you Lauren, I’m Sinu by the way.”

Lauren nodded. “I’ll leave you to uhm unpack. See you tonight Mrs Sinu.”

Just as fast as she walked over to their house, she walked back to her house, if not even faster.

She ignored her brother’s question about the new girl.

“Is she hot? She looks so fucking hot from here.”

It kind of made her feel sick and she decided that she will take a short nap before they come.

Her sister was the one to wake her up. Asking if she can help her with choosing what dress to wear.

Instead of yelling at her sister, like she would in the past, she actually thanked her for waking her up, considering she herself had to get ready too.

Half an hour. That’s how long it took her to take a shower and get dressed into her favorite dress. She even made an effort to brush her hair. 

Dress to impress.

Chris was kind of right, they did have a hot daughter. Kind of. At first Lauren though she’s hot but as the night went on, she realized the younger Latina was such a dork and a nerd. SHe found it endearing.

“Say Camila, would you rather have a private movie theater in your house or your very own library?” Lauren questioned the younger girl once they were alone in her room

“Library.” Camila replied without a hesitation “I’m a book worm.”

“So am I.” Lauren smiled fondly

For the firs time in weeks, she actually smiled. Real smile, not the fake one everyone else would get.

They talked and talked and talked until it was Camila’s time to go home.

The younger girl stood up as she heard her father calling her from the downstairs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Camila asked hopefully

“For sure.” Lauren nodded

And then, Camila pulled her into a hug. Lauren flinched.

“Not a hugger?” Camila instantly pulled away “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s okay.” Lauren shrugged it off

Camila nodded once. “Good night Lauren.”

“Good night Camila.”

As the days of summer came and passed, Lauren felt herself being more and more drawn to the certain brunette. However, she knew better than to jump into this. For all she knew, Camila could turn out to be worse than anyone else she had dated in the past.

But she wasn’t. She made sure Lauren knows she’s loved and that someone cares about her. 

It was during one stormy night that Lauren decided to open up to Camila.

They were pretty close by then, there was this special bond between them, and everyone could see it.

It was the night Lauren ended up using Camila as her shoulder to cry on. She cried over Akio and how he was the first one make her question her worthy; she cried over Naomi and how she still blames herself for Naomi’s break-down; she cried over Rick and how she can’t look herself in the mirror without imagining the bruises where they once were.

All the time, Camila held her tightly, gently played with her hair and softly rubbed calming circles on Lauren’s back.

“You like her.” Dinah commented one day as their group of friends all left to joke around in the water

“What?” Lauren looked away from Camila, her eyes now focusing on Dinah

“Camila. You like her.”

“I don’t." 

"You do. It’s okay. I like her, for you. She’s good for you. She makes you happy.”

“I don’t like her.” Lauren repeated

“Whatever floats your boat chica. But in case you were wondering, I think she likes you too.”

However, that night when Lauren was left all alone with her thoughts, for the first time she admitted to herself that Dinah is right. Not that she’d ever admit it to the taller her. There was no need to boost her ego, it was big enough as it is.

She looks across the street and sees that Camila’s light is still on, although it’s already two in the morning.

She sends her a quick text saying she herself cannot sleep and that she’s coming over if Camila’s okay with it.

As soon as she gets a positive answer from Camila, she slips into her shoes and grabs her keys before walking out of the house.

“Hey,” Camila is already standing at the door, waiting for her “you okay?”

“I am now.”

And the smile on Camila’s face becomes bigger.

She leads Lauren upstairs to her room.

“Sorry about the mess, I was writing.” Camila makes a show of gesturing to the guitar on the floor and a notebook with a pen attached to it

“About?”

“Feelings.” Camila mumbles

“Oh, wanna talk about feelings?”

“Not really, no. Why? Do you?”

“Maybe.” Lauren shrugs and takes a seat on Camila’s bed

“If you do, I’m a great listener.”

“I know, it’s one of the things I like about you.”

The room is so quiet and the only thing that can be hear is the rapid beating of their hearts.

“Camz?”

Camila lifts her head up to look at Lauren. She almost lets out a gasp as she sees Lauren’s bright green eyes staring into her chocolate brown ones, they flicker to her lips for a second before focusing back at her eyes.

“I’m not crazy, am I?” Lauren questions

She decides to leave out the part where she says that she spent the ast three hours thinking about Camila and over-analyzing Camila’s actions towards her.

“About?” Camila whispers

“Us.”

Us. 

The younger Latina smiles at the word.

“No, you’re not.”

“So, you– I’m not seeing things that aren’t real–”

“My feelings are very real Lauren.” Camila’s voice is so quiet that Lauren almost doesn’t hear it

“Okay, good. I mean– that’s nice. Because, I– uh–”

And then Camila’s soft lips are on her own and for the first time in her life, it feels right.

“Thank you for shutting me up.” Lauren says once Camila finally pulls away

Camila rolls her eyes and lets out a chuckle.

“Any time.”

“What about now?" 

Another chuckle leaves Camila’s mouth but she nods her head before leaning over and kissing Lauren’s lips once again.

When Camila pulls away again, they don’t say a word. They stare at the stars on Camila’s ceiling as they hold each other’s hands.

"I don’t wanna rush into this.”  Lauren says after what feels like forever

“Then we won’t. I’ve got the time, I’ll wait.”

Indeed, Camila gives Lauren all the time she needs. She’s there for her when she needs her and gives her space when she knows Lauren is suffocating. She understands.

And when Lauren finally gets her shit together, she asks her on a date. It turns into the second one, the third one, fourth one, and on the fifth, she asks her to be her girlfriend. 

“Like, officially?”

“Like, officially.” Lauren laughs at the younger girl

They take it as slow as Lauren needs but even Lauren knows that sometimes she has to speed up things, even if that’s not what she wants. She’s scared of unknown, but it’s Camila. And Camila keeps her demons away. That’s all that matters.

She finds herself having a heavy make-out sessions with her girlfriend on more than one occasion. And she can’t stop herself from doing so, because Camila looks like an angel but kisses like the devil. And she’s in love with it.

“I told you.” Dinah smirks as she walks over to Lauren and Camila 

“Told her what?” Normani questions

“She knows.”

“I know.” Lauren nods

“What did you tell her?” Normani asks Dinah

“What did she tell you?” Camila questions Lauren

Lauren shakes her head and smiles at Dinah.

Both Camila and Normani decide to drop the subject, realizing there’s no point in trying to get the answers from them.

The bell rings and Normani and Camila walked over to the direction of their lockers, meanwhile Dinah follows Lauren over to hers.

“Keep her Lo. Stay.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Lauren smiles at her friend

-

check me out on wattpad if you please https://www.wattpad.com/user/FakingCamren