#sorry for the typos it’s 6am

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

Fixing MHA's Ending So It Follows Through With Its Core Themes (And It Basically Fixes Itself)

I don't like retconning at the best of times, but turning what started as essentially a Hope focused narrative into a "realistic" tragedy at the very last second is some wild work.

So I'm gonna do what I do best as a fic writer and fix it!!!!!

The Summary

So, I'm pretty sure all of us were on mostly the same page up until the very last panels of the Shigaraki fight (Having AFO being just "born evil" was probably the start of things not being great, but I'm willing to let that slide because it doesn't really effect the overall function of the story that much). Once that and the epilogue started is where I mostly saw people being like ????????? to a lot of choices, so I'm going to focus on those two sections only.

We're gonna be rewriting:

-The deaths of the Villains + Kurogiri (obvs)

-The overall post-War actions and reactions

-The continued existence of the Commission and the Hero Rankings

-Hawk's fate

-Spinner's fate

-A liiiiitle tweak to Chisaki's fate

-Slight tweaks to the Todorokis

-and finally What to DO with the Villains + Kurogiri now that they're alive

And we'll be starting with...

Toga

Now for a battle that was so beautiful, this really did end up completely falling apart.

I'm not gonna justify every single Villain Rescue I do, but Toga's really comes down to one simple reason for me:

Her bullies literally wanted her to die as atonement.

You don't...typically make your character's fate agree with their bullies or abusers (otherwise???? why are you explicitly portraying them as bullies and abusers to the audience if you want us to ultimately agree with them?????)

Throughout most of the story prior to this, Hori made it a staple in the show that dying for the cause, hurting yourself for the cause, martyring yourself or otherwise telling someone to kill themselves for the cause is a vile thing to do. So, it makes ZERO sense why he would suddenly retcon this at such a critical moment, especially since he already set the stage for it to be wrong in the first place.

(also does anyone also think it was weird/creepy that Hori LITERALLY has her do this with Twice and she very explicitly says "Don't be stupid I don't have to give all of my blood away"? No? Just me?)

Everything happens the same, she still thinks she's sacrificing herself, "If only, if only", blah blah blah

AND THEN...

Hawks

This is such low-hanging fruit plot-wise it actually feels offensive that it went nowhere

Nothing happens with Hawks. We all say it, fans and non-fans alike. He is wasted potential incarnate. His story is a circle and it so easily did not have to be that way because of one simple writing decision:

Hawks and Toga share a blood type.

Up until now, it really did seem like Hawks learned nothing from Jin's death. The first thing he says when he sees the clones is, "We have to kill them now!" But then, picture him still battered and broken from his fight with AFO, wingless, but there is still SOMETHING he can do to save someone's life.

And he puts the needle in his arm instead, and before she can question it, he tells her Jin would want her to live. He's not gonna make the same mistake twice.

(I also think it'd be nice if he said something like how lucky she is, to really go full circle with the Jin story, but I'm not trying dialogue here lol)

And that leads us to...

Shigaraki (and Kurogiri!)

This is a double feature because with the way I'm doing it, I can't save one without the other.

So, something that happens during this and is super anti-climactic and seemingly pointless is Midoriya losing his hands. He gets em back in like 2 seconds, because Eri gives him a surprise rewind almost immediately after. The actual point of it was just to show the brand new rule that physical damage that happens in the vestige world also happens in the real world, so that killing Shigaraki a few chapters later would still make sense.

We're gonna get rid of that rule entirely and just say that Midoriya does not lose his actual arms in the fight, and psychological damage in a ghost world does not reflect physically in reality (or idk. If you DO want that to happen, then just say the embers of the vestiges protected him one last time or something).

And because he doesn't lose his arms, Eri still has a surprise rewind to use.

But before we get to that, we actually have to save Shigaraki. So, here's the super complicated rescue rewrite I came up with. Ready?

Kicking AFO out of his brain and giving him back full control over his body simply does not kill him.

That's it!!!! That's really all that needed to happen!! It was a very conscious choice to make that kill him! It's actually more work and details to kill Shigaraki than it is to save him!! Hori already went out of his way to say that Nana's vestige protected him so that he wasn't completely swallowed by AFO, just so he could say goodbye before fading away anyway. What if, considering the fact that hatred of Nana is what damned him, love FROM Nana actually just plain ol saves him? Full stop? We come full circle. It would make it a fantastic mirror to the Todoroki fight and solidify the theme that love from your/a family, even a broken one, will save you!!

And then further in the background, Bakugou doesn't randomly kill (?????? Even after reading it again I'm still really confused about how Kurogiri dies. I think this is what happens?????) Kurogiri, and instead starts to lose control like they feared. But then, refusing to give up on him, Aizawa hits him with the now-available Rewind Juice and it finally, finally stabilizes his mind for good.

The day is saved.

And that just leaves...

Touya

Unfortunately my stupid husband can't stop trying to kill himself for 2 seconds despite my best efforts to convince him otherwise, so there's really nothing I can do about the extent of his injuries

However, there's LOTS I can do about the way we're treating said injuries! =D

First of all, because Touya is my favorite, I do wanna allow myself the space to briefly rant about how his entire situation was handled because brother. first of all. It's so incredibly obvious that he was supposed to die on the battlefield with his comrades. That man had no fuckin eyeballs by the end of that fight, bffr. And then it was like Hori remembered the thing about the noodles and was like 'oh shit I better at least wrap that up lol' so he brought him back--eyeballs and TEARDUCTS magically intact btw so naturally the audience with reading comprehension was like 'oh he's healing somehow I guess'--just to get that specific moment on the books (and maybe just to draw Touya in his Batman Who Laughs era because I mean he does look pretty sick in the tank) and then turned around and killed him again. With no explanation what the random functioning tearducts and magical regrowth of eyeballs was about.

Like...my guy, you ain't gotta do all that. Again, it's so much harder and more complicated to kill him than it is to keep him alive. Not to mention he was killed OFF-SCREEN. WE DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE ANY--IF ANY--CONVERSATIONS HE HAS WITH SHOUTO OR HIS FAMILY, WHICH WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF NOT KILLING HIM ON THE BATTLEFIELD. INSTEAD OF THE SEXY SHIRTLESS SERVING-FACE-AT-A-FUNERAL IMAGE OF TOUYA WE COULD'VE SEEN A FLASHBACK OF THEM TALKING AND HIM SMILING AND BEING HAPPY WITH THEM FOR WHATEVER TIME THEY HAD AND THAT STILL WOULD'VE BEEN MORE SATISFYING. Y'KNOW. BECAUSE THAT WAS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF THE TODOROKI PLOTLINE?????????????VSSSBBNM,.;;PUSAAXXGHIIRWDFGG

But anyway.

Fixing Touya's death is really simple. We can do two things, actually.

Work with the deus-ex Ice Quirk a little bit, make the Phoenix Theory canon. Ice heals him, the tank is a giant fridge. Lo and behold, it would explain why he magically healed eyeballs and tearducts. It's an incredibly slow process, but eventually he'd heal enough to be out of the tank and in a normal hospital setting for the rest of his recovery. It also gives him a goal to pursue for the future, I.E learning how to control the new side of his powers and mayybeeee getting interested in studying Quirk Biology in the process 👀

He simply!!!!!! Doesn't die!!!!!!!!! Out of ALLLLLLL the MHA characters, I would 100% believe you if you told me that Touya Todoroki nevertheless persisted. That's like...his entire character. You don't even need to give me a reason. His entire character up until now has been 'the one that's somehow still alive' to the point that the fucking Dr. Eggman lookin ass mad scientist that brought him back to life in the first place (in WORSE condition) was like 'yeah no idea how he's still here that's scary'. I'm sorry, the entire fucking show I've had to see A. An old man without a face with a back alley ventilator system shoved directly into his stoma that's somehow fine and talking perfectly, and B. Another old man missing his ENTIRE digestive tract for years and is still up and walking around somehow with no G-tube or colostomy bag to be seen, so I think by the power of God and Anime, Touya could probably survive his injuries and it would be within the realm of believability for the show. In fact, it's LESS believable that he stayed alive through all that by spite alone and then when he finally gets offered love and acceptance, that determination and tenacity to stay alive suddenly goes out the window. If anything, it should've made him MORE determined to live.

Sorry I got carried away with that one. But there. Everyone is saved and the core themes are intact.

Now we just have...

The Overall Actions and Reactions Post-War

Gonna sum this up really quickly:

-The cameras never turned off. They're built for Quirk resistance because they're a fucking newscast in a Hero society if their technology broke every time there were heavy Quirk exchanges there would never be any fucking news. Making them conveniently lose footage so none of the civs can see the Villains humanity is just rubbing salt in the wound and serves no narrative purpose in line with pre-established themes. Everyone saw what was recorded, and it helped the Villains' cases for rehabilitation.

-We do not censor out this battle in future history books. Everyone is very familiar with the final fight and the events and circumstances leading up to it. It is not erased from public memory as soon as possible. In fact, it's frequently studied and referenced when making new policies to avoid making the same mistakes. Hori. Wtf.

-We do not reinstate the Hero Rankings in any way shape or form, and Shouto is the biggest voice in dismantling this system. Voila, this is now actually the story of how they all became the greatest Heroes, because they aren't ranked. They're all literally the greatest Heroes, and so will everyone after them.

-This IS actually portrayed in the epilogue, but yes, let's be LESS reliant on Heroes and police and MORE invested in the community!!!!!!! Even more so than what's portrayed!!!!! Take another bit from Spider-Man: Anyone can wear the mask!!!!!! Let's make a world where Heroes have too much time on their hands and not just make more of them, right????????? Remember that????????

-WE DO NOT REINSTATE THE COMMISSION. WE GOT RID OF THEM CORRUPT HOES FOR A REASON!!!!!! NO A CHANGE OF THE GUARD IS NOT ENOUGH TO FIX IT WE'RE NOT 7YRS OLD!!!!! HORI. WTF. The only thing I want them to be in charge of is licensing Heroes. I want these fuckers to be the DMV of the Hero world and that's IT!!!!!!!

Which brings us to...

Hawks' Fate

I don't even fuck with this man like that, but he did not deserve to become CEO of the organization that groomed and abused him since he was a child when all he wanted to do was chase tail and fuck off to a beach somewhere. Considering the fact that he also, like, killed people he shouldn't have, let him retire like Endeavor, please. We're done giving the old guard power and privilege, especially when they explicitly did not and do not want it (and when they did have it, they misused it). The only thing I want this man involved with is Toga's recovery alongside Uraraka. Specifically, I want him paying for it and anything else she might need. Fuck it, you know what, make HIM Endeavor's personal aide instead of Rei!!!! He gets to be a little simp and Endeavor gets a replacement son to fill Natsu's spot. Everyone wins.

(He does deserve that hairline tho. I ain't fixin that.)

So that leaves...

Spinner's Fate

I'm not changing much here, besides the fact that now Shiggy is alive and I think they should be ✨Roommates✨ eventually (and obviously he's gonna be much less riddled with survivor's guilt). I still think he should write that book, but I also think that with his multiple Quirks, he should team up with scientists to understand how Quirks work in the body (and maybe get some of them removed from his).

And next...

Chisaki's Fate

I just think this guy needs to be in the same place as the other Villains, at least for a fraction of the time. Why is he just...out. He was also in that daycare and could definitely use some help before we just let him loose in the streets because he said sorry (Can the League just say sorry then??????????).

I do think afterwards he should get involved with something chemistry related tho, cause those bullets of his came in clutch.

And on that note...

The Todorokis' Fates

And by Todorokis I mean two of them, specifically Rei lol

Yeah, she's not gonna be Endeavor's nurse for the rest of her life lol. That man has more money than God, he can hire an aide like everybody else. In fact, they're not even living together. Do you remember how earlier in the series, he gave them a new house? So they could live away from him and he would be in the old house by himself? I liked that plan. Let's go back to that plan. I'm not gonna go as far as to make them divorce, if they're together they're together, but I think separation is a necessary must at this point because if they MUST stay together, they should at least try dating for once???????? Girl was actually bought like maybe they figure out if they even still like each other at all, or ever did.

(Also, I have to laugh as a motorized wheelchair user that Hori drew her pushing Endeavor all happy and blissfully. Motorized wheelchairs are not meant to be pushed like that lol. They have push features for emergencies and small around-the-house distances of course, but uh, mine's 350 pounds without me in it. It's not usually anyone's first choice.)

But there is one more Todoroki I have a lot to talk about, so that finally brings us to...

What Do We Do With The Villains + Kurogiri Now That They're Alive???????????

We take everything from comic books except what would actually makes sense with the story lol

Surprise!!!!!! We're doing Arkham!!!!!! This is another low-hanging fruit thing that I'm almost a little offended that it wasn't implemented. Obviously Arkham has its problems in the Batman canon that we're gonna try to avoid, but I honestly think Batman villains and the core MHA Villains are pretty similar in their execution in that they are primarily mentally ill victims of society who have done very terrible things, but the audience (and Batman himself) is actively rooting for them to get better over just rotting in jail or being killed. Two-Faced has killed sooooo many people and has relapsed a ton, but I ultimately still want to see him get better because he was Batman's best friend once and a good man, and what happened to him was a tragedy. I think all the Villains deserve a space where they can humanely heal from their issues and gain support, while also being safely separated from society while they're still dangerous to themselves and others.

Oh, but Batman and his endless money bought Arkham. Who do we know who has access to trust fund money, an investment in the mentally ill, and the bonus of a medical background that could fund such a thing?

Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together for...

Natsuo Todoroki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mans graduates from college and immediately uses his money as a doctor and his inheritance to open up Rindou Sanctuary, in honor of his mother Rei and named after her favorite flower (I don't think he'd want to give Enji the satisfaction of his last name attached to his greatest achievement). He's head doctor on site and the board, and visits Touya every shift once he's healed enough to be transferred to the facility. He is very invested in his brother's treatment and refuses to lose him again--at least not until they're proper old men.

It is publicly funded by donors and taxes alike, and Enji, naturally, is always the highest donor. Call it reparations.

And there you have it! That's how to fix the epilogue. It took longer to type than think about. I could care less about canon shipping, so y'all can keep that (or not). I'm just here to fix the structural problems that have no reason to be here at this point. As I said, once I redrew lines Hori already set up and just abandoned, it pretty much fixed itself.

Hope you enjoyed it and I hope it eases the grief a little!!!!! They're alive look I fixed it!!!!!! <3

(also feel free to use anything I said in here in your own fix-it fics!!!! Just tag me so I can read them 👀)

[tricksteroftheheart]

I've played Stray !! I beat it in uhh. Around 5 hours of total playtime I think. Game gave me many thoughts and I vividly remember wishing I lived in that silly world even if it lowkey kind of sucks plot-wise. Very pretty very shapes and colors.

A solid hour of my gameplay was probably spent knocking things off of shelves ,, as cats do

my partner played a bit of stray for me but we havent finished it yet </3 but i wanna play it for myself cause i 1. love cats 2. love games where you play as animals (hashtag nonhuman) and 3. love dystopian cities like that. very (heart)homey to me

yeah no i totally get the 'i wanna live here. this city sucks but i wanna live here' cause thats how my lives were(are?) whenever it comes to cities like that haha. neo city i love you but you suck so bad to live in. doesnt mean i dont miss it tho

also so fair. you deserve to knock things off shelves i think!! what else is a little kitty cat supposed to do!!!!

(the cat urge knocking of stuff off shelves, , , if you like knockng stuff off shelves as a cat i know theres uh. catlateral damage? WHICH GOT REMASTERED RECENTLY I DIDNT KNOW THAT??? anyway this entire game is knocking shit over as a cat. delightful little game i havent checked out the remaster)

[81folklore]

heaven - PIASTRI - part 4

pairings: oscar piastri x private!fem!reader (fc: gracie abrams)

summary: oscars winter break as seen through social media

type: social media au (smau)

authors note: THEYRE BACK BABYYY!! ive missed these two so much so here 🤲 i spent a while trying to decide what i wanted to happen with these two (already have some plans) but i needed to post and my current wip is so frustrating 😕

authors note 2: its official theyre my favorites, i had sooooo much fun writing this, just two babies in love!!!! requests are always open and feel free to come chat!! (also i wrote this at 6am so sorry if there are any typos🫶)

heaven masterlist masterlist

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 9,289 others

always dressing up 🖤

📸 oscarpiastri

view comments

yourfriend3 actually insane

yourfriend7 you are so lovely

oscarpiastri how are you even real

yourusername babyyyy☹️

oscarpiastri 😍😍

yourusername 🤩🤩

user5 ur outfits are always unreal

landonorris is thought u were staying in tonight??

yourusername we are..i dressed up for fun😁

user7 THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE

user18 SKWKZIWJJS

user93 my jaw DROPPED

yourfriend2 my favorite outfit of yours!!

user54 biggest question is if we’ll get winter break content😕

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, yourfriend1 and 13,279 others

my favorite time of year💫

view comments

oscarpiastri weenie waits for no one

yourusername heyy he likes sleeping in the warm☹️☹️

oscarpiastri still steals my seat😕

user54 oh my god

user3 DID OSCAR TAKE THOSE?!

yourusername yesss🫠

yourfriend6 see you soon!!

user68 the outfits NEVER disappoint

user2 im so ok

user26 THE FOURTH PHOTO??

user63 THE LAST PHOTO??

user5 you are so so pretty

yourusername thank uuuu🫶

oscarpiastri

liked by aussiegrit, yourusername and 436,742 others

life without racecars☀️

view comments

user54 OH MY GOD

user77 i may never recover

yourusername weenie and back photos oh i won *liked by creator*

landonorris ?!?!!?!

user2 LMAOOOO

user4 i feel ill i cant cope

user32 i need someone to love me the way they love each other

yourusername ☀️☀️

user9 the third photo..the THIRD PHOTO

user44 don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry

twitter

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 14,281 others

oscar oscar oscar

i hold so much love for you i often feel like its about to spill out of me, unable to be contained, and when im with you i let it. i let it fill the room and cover you until you really feel how much i love you

every day i wake up thinking about how lucky i am that i get to love you, that i get to live with you. its a blessing and im the luckiest girl in the world

ill never be able to fully explain just what you mean to me, just how much youve impacted and improved my life. everyday i find myself thinking of you and finding bits of you in places i least expect and then i get filled with this happiness that i only experience with you

you are the light of my life oscar piastri and i will love you in every universe, i promise

tagged oscarpiastri

comments on this post have been limited

oscarpiastri i love you more than words can describe, you have made me the happiest man alive

oscarpiastri i am in awe of you every single day and i cannot believe i get to spend them with you

yourusername 🩷🩷

op81priv

liked by yourusername, ln4priv and 37 others

the love i feel for you is infinite and is strong enough to keep me alive forever

you keep my heart filled with a love that ive never felt before and i will only ever feel for you

you’re my forever person, my bestfriend and i will love you until i cant love any more

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername oh oscar i love you so much

yourusername forever sounds perfect to me

twitter

yourusername added to their story

[alovesreading]

hello, i hope you’re doing as well as we all can be. i just wanted to let you know that constant repeat literally changed my life. around a year and half (?) ago i was getting really depressed, anxious, and generally unhappy with…pretty much everything that wasn’t related to alex turner in some way. i have autism and his work (+ miles’s) is my special interest, so i know i’ll reliably be able to cheer myself up just a little if i’m doing anything involving them. one night at 4am, i was trying to find literally anything to keep me occupied so i wouldn’t spiral again. i somehow managed to come across cr. i’m not kidding when i say i read everything that was up (something around 12-14 chapters iirc?) before 6am. it became the reason i woke up every day, i just had to find out what ella and alex were up to and if they’d ever figure out how chronically in love they were. i won tickets to one of the am concerts in my area shortly after that and i reread my favorite chapters to celebrate. i watched all your life updates and chapter updates and i’ve been keeping tabs on you since. i gained more reasons to wake up (ie getting engaged) but i always come back to cr. 💚💚 much love to you.

(ps, sorry for any typos or silly formatting, it’s currently 4am for me. i just wanted to send good things your way with the way things have been)

Anon, this is probably the most special ask I have ever gotten. Nearly brought me to tears.

Constant Repeat was born out of a fight against the claws of depression while stuck working on the road for almost a year. Being in the truck month after month was draining, and the only thing keeping me sane was plotting silly fics on my laptop.

One of those fics ended up being Constant Repeat. I wrote so damn much in such little time, and I thought it would be so stupid to post it but with some encouragement, I gave in.

Never in a million years did I think any of my little made up stories would make an impact on anyone, at least not beyond entertaining people for a bit.

So reading this has just made my heart grow about three sizes in my chest. I’m so proud of you anon, for how far you’ve come and all that you’ve accomplished so far. I’m sending you a billion hugs and all the love in the world. And a massive congrats to you on your engagement!!!! 🥹🥹🥹

Thank you for your support, for being here, and coming back despite the lack of new content. I hope with all my heart to be able to put out something new for Ella and Alex’s story very soon.

Know that when next chapter comes, it’ll be dedicated to you.

Again, thank you for this. Wishing I could hug you through the screen, but I hope you feel the ghost hug while reading this 🤍🤍🤍

[novashelby]

holy shit. thank you for giving us more of evie ! great part 2. i got very curious reading the comments and their perspectives on thomas and evelyn’s interactions. i can’t help but wonder when did he become that clingy with his first child? i remember reading the first chapters and he seemed like a normal dad to me . perhaps as evelyn got older he became more and more attached to her ? because it sounds like he never bonded with his other children, who are biologically his, like he did with evie

Those chapters are definitely meant to be more light hearted, fun stuff. However, I will definitely be exploring that part of their relationship further because you guys seem to enjoy it. He was always super attached. Literally from the moment he realized that he wanted to adopt her. Out of all his children, he was most present with her. But I also think because it was easy to. Charlie and Ruby had mothers who were expected to do the childcare, so he assumed the traditional role of that day.

He was Evie's sole guardian that he willingly took on. I think he forever clung to the fact she was his light after the time in France. Ruby and Charlie, in his brain, were accidents. He loves them, don't get me wrong. He absolutely does, but the emotional bond just never took. In Ruby's case, who again, he absolutely loved and was devastated about, was an accident in which he had to marry Lizzie. Which was a very unloving turbulent marriage. He was also extremely busier when Ruby came along. So there was less time to actually form that paternal bond like Evie. When Evie came, he was still living with Aunty Polly doing Birmingham stuff. He had time to attend school functions and bring her places. With Charlie, he has an old school mentality. He wants to raise him to be tough. So as he gets older, he's less hands on to build a man, essentially. There is also an emotional pain as well with Charlie because he reminds him of Grace. In regards to the clingy stuff, that really developed after Grace died because he lost trust in everyone and he just clung so deeply to Evie. He started to depend on her to do a lot of things and at the time, she was only 13-14. There were actually rumors set by opponents in the 1930s that they shared a romantic relationship. 110% not true. Tommy loves her as a daughter and it's not that type of story. But they are so close, so bonded, that family has had to set boundaries. Even Grace at points was like,...boundaries.... So, sorry I went on a rant haha and sorry for any typos. Its 6am and I am still up lol

[lighthouseborn]

thinking abt mermay a little but tell me about. mer!henry

I must have opened this and immediately forgotten about it but now here it is. it's 6am and I haven't slept much and I'm on mobile so I'm sorry in advance for the inevitable typos but yes hello--

I know this is a? fairly common? au for people to have for their canon beloveds and I think that's neat but you know I don't have a mer!au? in Henry's case specifically I almost feel like it's too near his canon to... fit? and also. maybe this is why I don't really do fanfic the way other peo0le do fanfic but also. mer!au is sooooo open ended and I feel like the way people invoke it implies there is some universal mermaid world and lore that, just by going mer! implies all of the inherent like... universe rules (like how if you go 'omegav.erse!' you've invoked a specific set of physical and social standards inside of which to create this au version of the (or just? a?) story) but,,, there isn't? and. so if I invoked a mer! clause all I'd really be saying is "he's nonhuman" which is totally a fun thing for some people I'm sure but in this case. is a) wrong and b) SO adjacent to his canon already that it's feels Weird and also doesn't have a ruleset to play inside of so that means.... that I don't get it clskakdkskksjskd because like.

I dunno if this is an interesting answer btw sorry for goung "I don't and won't have one" in many many words but like. one of my whole things with aus in the fanfic style of it is that I don't .. get them a lot of the time? like. mermaid Henry would fundamentally alter him in ways that like... his story would change enough that *i* feel like he wouldn't be Henry. so I wouldn't want that, u know? and then. things like coffee shop au. I completely do not get. and its all just like. I dunno it's like, I could go read/watch something with a mermaid protagonist if I wanted a mermaid protagonist?

or maybe more like. many people have an "any au can be done" kind of vibe and I love this for them but I do not brain that way I feel like different characters suit different aus and sometimes you can pretend mess with them a little (like borrowing pac.ific ri,m concept language to go "henry and carina are drift compatible actually" even though i wouldnt ever write them in that setting because i dont feel it suits them) but other times is just like. at some points it is too different and you are writing a different, new character entirely and if I wanted to do that I would make up yet more ocs, you know? and specifically Henry is... I can't say nonmagical for obvious reasons but. he is very Human, to me. I don't think mer!henry as a concept works that would be somebody else at that point, with the way it changes fundamentals. he is not the magical thing he is near the magical things and in some ways there in spite of the magical things but in many ways because of the magical things. if any of that made sense?

you maybe be asking yourself "how does dbh work but a mermaid au doesn't" and that is. a valid question that honestly mystifies me a little bit. but I think it's because... the setting itself does demand heavy change of him, just what's around him? and there are differences I don't mean to imply 1700s henry and ,,, 20whatever, when is dbh even set oh no why don't I know that... anyway he's different across those verses, and the others I have, for sure. he's just not fundamentally altered..... if?? this is tracking??? idk maybe im just inexplicably self contradictory about aus

[witchyyblues]

i want to say something that’s been on my mind for a long time. i know many people go through this too and i feel like it’s important to talk about it. like many, i’m always like “i want to advance further into my life!” whether it be my spiritual path or just life in general. because of that, i want it to be known that i’m always asking my spirit guides for help on things like that but i’m always dissapointed because they don’t magically come. i expect things in my life to happen without any effort from me, and i hope that this can help somebody who’s been avoiding accepting this like i have. i’ve had self motivation issues my whole life, i have never fully loved myself ever and those two things have completely shaped my life and stopped me from taking the next step in well.. literally anything. i have been frustrated because of this my whole life but even with that frustration and desperation i STILL have never made any effort to stop it. it’s a horrible cycle to live through and i’m at the point where i have decided to make a change. i have decided that i need to put effort. i always knew what the answer was to getting the things i want, to being in the places and situations i so desperately wish to be in. my guides know that i’ve always known, i’ve just been avoiding it, blocking it and so desperately trying to find another reason- maybe trying to find something that wasn’t such a difficult revelation to accept. but that’s how things are, and that’s how things have always been. admitting it takes a lot. but we all have the power to shape into the life we want to have. for some it may come easy, but for people like me it took me 17 years to finally want to put the first step and that’s okay! it doesn’t matter how old you are what matters is that you realize. that in itself is a first step and just acknowledging it is a HUGE accomplishment. this won’t come easy to me and i understand that. this will be hard, this will be a challenge and maybe i’ll feel like giving up again. i havent magically gained the motivation or self love just because i realized this. i will doubt myself here and there. that’s because it’s a process. i have never challenged myself or have wanted to struggle because i was scared. i’ve fallen yeah but i’ve never wanted to pick myself up. its okay to make mistakes it’s okay to mess up. we are human and that will happen. we have so much time and there’s no need to worry about mistakes. dont fear it just understand that we need that to happen in order to grow. its hard to find it in you to continue but it’s not impossible. i just wanted to document this to anyone else who has struggled with self confidence, self love, self motivation, anything! you are capable of anything you want. you can do this, and i believe in you. even just brushing your teeth is a big step towards self love. i’m proud of you and i know you will achieve what you want to happen. you are so powerful and you were put onto this earth for a reason. i wrote this to help others and yeah to help myself because this is like a little motivational post for me that i can read whenever i feel like quitting again. i encourage to write out how you feel, and what you wish to accomplish so whenever you feel like giving up, you can read it again. you can lift yourself back up. try try try again. you are strong. you are capable. all my love and support,

leila.

[northern-passage]

funniest typo. something the hunter would never say but also Lea immediately getting mad about the hunter daring to suggest they’re fun

[snowdrop-yoongi]

"welcome home, or leaving in reverse" by yours truly. a poem made from fragments of my mother's text messages inspired by the talented and brilliant @mossycoat

[firemama]

Hey, Tumblr.

Sav’s 2022 saga of misfortune has come to a spike this fabulous May with a serious car issue. What makes this so bad, Sav? well... my only source of income, at this time, is that I am a delivery driver with shipt. Hard enough with the gas crisis- 5$ a fucking gallon- in orlando traffic, you might say. You’d be right.

I’ve got no savings; most of my money was burned through during a month long period of homelessness, a couple months of not being able to work due to being generally transient and out of town and thus out of my shipt metro and unable to even deliver for income, medical bills for an injury, moving and storage costs, and some other bullshit. I’ve got no savings, and i’m pushing debt on my credit card. And at this time, with my car in need of repair, I have no source of income and another bill.

So I am asking for donations, if anyone has something to spare, however small.

Patreon Paypal Kofi

If Donations arent your speed, or you would like something in exchange, I also do commisions. Moodboards for small cost donation/commissions as low as a dollar, and I also do art and writing commissions. Hit me up to talk about commissions if you’re interested. Some basic information about that is pinned to my blog, and my other blogs.

For those who are not familiar with Sav’s 2022 saga, the summary is:

Orlando/Florida major property tax increase. See: sudden rental cost hike. 1200 to 1300 will net you poorly managed slum lord apartment in orlando now. Our previous rent of roughly 1300 (which had been steadily increasing with every re-sign of the lease) suddenly jumped up to just shy of 1800, and would continue to climb with future extensions.

Preparations to move to new york for sibling’s school; see, also very fucking expensive, because im talking New York, New york. but its sib’s grad school, scholarship, gotta go, very important.

Just before moving time, a series of... events occured. Including but not limited to:

Major fall out with roommate (one of three tenants) which would result in one less person paying rent come renewal. With just me and the sib, never could afford to stay in our current house anyway. So, no going back, no resigning lease if New york falls though.

 Rather serious workplace injury to my dominant hand. At the time, thought, oh kind of serious- a deep injury to the knuckle joint that... i probably should have taken in to get stitches, but.. didnt, and instead just bandaged it up. “I cant afford medical bills right now” i said, unaware of a big storm coming.

My work, a few months prior to this, had every single Senior Manager quit in the span of a couple weeks for the entire franchise. This was a warning sign. At this point in time, it is much worse. For starters, I had been demoted from Manager to Assistant Manager and then to Associate again... because my Migraines had become worse (from stress because COVID and  the mail system and all the mangers left and xyz) and i could not keep the minimum 50, then 40 hours. Despite being demoted, and less pay, I was responsible for neigh all the managment responsibilities at my location because there was no one else. For 11$ an hour. And then all the other less-senior managers from other locations also quit, because no one was making more than the average Mcdonalds employee. Very bad, all around.

I had to submit my resignation anyway, because we had an out-of-state move coming. And I was already being paid less, and expecting to take on the work of more than one salaried job. But before I submitted my resignation?

(Tw, injury)After two-three weeks of excruciating pain despite the visible damage to my finger being healed, and no increase of motor function, and also a strange mishape to my finger. I finally filed for workers comp, belatedly, and went on down to an urgent care. The deep injury, if you’re curious, had been caused by a tape gun; specifically, a customer trying to grab the tapefun from my hands anddesimating my hand, most expressly my poor fucking finger joint. And upon xray at the urgent care, they found a metal tooth from the tape gun in my finger. more specifically in my finger joint. quite literally grinding against my bone. doing serious damage to my joint. (I am now legally allowed to complain about pain and no one is allowed to tell me im complaining too much. broken off sharp metal tooth in my finger for nearly three weeks.

Surgery, obviously, to remove the sharp foreign body from my hand. It was a very quick surgery, actually. But to the point, my workers comp covered most of the injury. Most. Not all. expensive, like I thought, and i definitely couldnt afford it. but necessary.

 And then we found out the ‘scholarship’ covered less than a 16th of the overall tuition to the gradschool in new york despite it’s title of ‘full ride scholarship’.

New york fell through, and we would not be able to keep our then-current lease.

so now we have less than two weeks to find a new place. And all of our research and propsects were in another state we cold not afford to live. we had no time, and due o afformentioned text increases, out prior 1200... just does not exist. not for sale anywhere. If it does, we ‘technically’ make too much to afford it, because our combined annual income if I ‘pretend’ to still work at UPS is too high for rent control. (the irony is that we could barely afford 1200-1300 and yet somehow rent control says we make too much money for it). If I say I do not work for ups, which I dont, because i quit... well we dont meet minimum income.

Mostly, we’re screwed!

4 days before must-be-out-of-house, we find one option. 1200$ 2 bedroom that will allow our two cats. We do a fast walkthrough, because we dont have any options anyway. Place has infestations twofold, the maintenance guy is trying to fix 12 different holes in the walls, and we cant test the power or water because it isnt on yet and we cant really wait. Front door locks, has AC, theres an on-site laundry facility, has working fridge, sold. We mostly only interact with property manager, who I did like quite a lot, and he assured us he will help fix the issues and can get the place ready by our frantic date.

I move into apartment with all of our stuff. We rapidly find several, several issues. No smoke detectors, window (ground floor) with no lock and two that can’t even close all the way. Both of those things, some of you may know... are illegal. It was not the only illegal aspects, such as one room being incredibly unventalated, most of the lights not working with no other light sources, occasional plume of smoke from the fuse box, and (this is in florida) no netting on the windows. Things that are not included in the ‘illegal’ list but still very much problems: hidden mold (did you KNOW it’s not illegal for landlords to rent a property with mold?), and other fucking stupid shit. The real  show stopper, however, was that the apartment’s payment portal malfunctioned. We paid them the deposit the rent, everything... and it paid it back to my sibs account.

This is when we meet the actual landlord. Who is insane. She is incapable of texting legibly, and is almost incomprehensible over the phone. She does not know the landlord laws- which is her only job as a landlord- which she showed by telling us it’s our responsibility to provide smoke detectors, for example. (no, that’s illegal). She tries to back up this claim by saying it is stated in the lease we will provide the smoke detectors. Which proves she cannot fucking read a lease, either, because it does not say that in the lease, it says we are obligated to provide batteries for pre existing smoke detectors, and even if she had written that into the lease... it would still be illegal. it breaks housing codes. like a lot of other shit. Her excuse to all these issues was “well this isnt luxury housing.” Our windows not locking and you meeting builing code, lady, is not luxury, it’s minimum.

This whole thing is summed up with her ignoring all these issues and demanding we pay her. I tell her we did, because we did, but the portal doesnt work. She says that isnt her responsiblity, pay her again and make it work. I am speechless. It does not matter if im speechless, of course, because she never lets you get a word in edgewise and will simply talk over you, but anyway.

Obviously, only option or not, we cant fucking stay in this apartment. Legally, we cannot, and if we play along despite that, we wave our rights. And im sure if we give her money, she will try to keep that fucking despoit and declare our rent non refundable or some shit. So we declare that she broke our lease (illegally) and that we’re going to leave as soon as possible. She threatens to call the police because we’re scamming her- as if we get anything out of this. could kill her and feel no remorse. she gave me a crazy stress migraine that was not relieved by excessive stress panic attack or crying. 

We break the lease. With nowhere to live, we put all our shit in storage. more costs we cant afford. Insues a month of having no home. I go out of town for a while and bum a guest bedroom. Sib stays with partner.

We spend most of that month looking for somewhere to live. I burn through savings with no source of income- cant deliver outside of my Metro zone for shipt, and other issues with delivery, and I wont be in one place long enough to apply to work anywhere. Spend money on storage, on moving trucks getting shit back and forth, on ‘non-refundable application fees’ and on medication for the cat, and on follow up appointments and medication and treatment for my fucking hand.

some fucking asshole backs into my car on easter sunday. Not once- no, he backed into my car and then paused. surprised he is no longer backing up. tries to back up again, continuing to back into my car he is already hitting. pulls forward a little. backs up again. slightly louder crunch and this time he realizes what he’s done. Mind you i am on the fucking sidewalk less than 6 feet away from my car, walking to it, about to get into it. He looks me dead in the face and tries to leave the scene despite me trying to flag him down. Only stops because someone stepped out into the road in front of his fucking truck to stop him. Is drunk. fights insurance trading like hell. Takes about an hour to get it from him on threat of the cops.

ensues, while without home, an exausting insurance battle. drunk guy tries to claim the damage was prexisting. I have witnesses, and I also have a fucking picture of the back of his truck with pieces of my car stuck in his bumper. Eventually he gives up, and I spend stupid amount of time conversing with car insurance. My car is old. and it is also a saturn, which is a company that no longer exists. It is also not technically one saturn, but two saturns franken-steined together with different parts of two older saturns. Obviously, despite the damage being cosmetic, they want to declare my car totaled. not-drivable. Obvious unacceptable, nd even if i did, the value on my car is shotty and i’ll get nothing from them for it. dribble car is much more valauble. but because it’s cosmetic damage, on an old ass already costmetically ugly car... basically zip on pay out. not even enough to get the specific cosmetic damage fixed.

Hardly fucking matters, because the check... is now being held by the bank. When will i be allowed to have it? they dont know yet.

Technically, my fucking car isn’t okay to be driven yet. I have to wait on a new title to be delivered, take it to a dmv to be inspected and declared drivable, hope to god it passes, and then pay them for all this shit. The check, if i ever get it, will probably fucking pay for that. *thank god for insurance.* so glad i pay them for this. I will have a car that is not repaired and no money to repair it with. fuck. At least it’s mostly cosmetic, except for my slightly warped gas tank hatch that is now a struggle to get open.

We find an apartment. This is great. We have a place to live.

This means more moving fees.

so we’re back in orlando. I have no savings left. I have a bit of credit card debt I cant pay off, and we still need some essential shit to buy for this place. but hey, we’re not homeless. Place isnt perfect yet- has rats, might have roaches, neighbors are wild and loud, pretty sure theres an active drug dealer based on the weird activity in the parking lot at all hours day and night.

but we’re not homeless. and im back in my metro, so i can deliver, so I have a source of income again. Everything will be fine.

Check is still being withheld. car is still technically not supposed to be drivable. this is fine. I will make enough money to survive this month, wrack up a little bit more debt on the essentials we need, but thisll be fine for a month or two until better work... good thing i can still deliver.

Lived here for a week. Sibling’s car breaks down and needs repairs. uh oh!

The day we get my sibling’s car back from the mechanic’s? today? today?  Obviously, my car breaks down. Obviously. fuck.

There’s more. This is a mostly abridged highlight. Other details- such as the fact that I had to borrow money from someone to get even this far, and my very old cat needing a vet visit that i just cant fucking afford yet- are all involved. My hand still has poor mobility- yesterday someone commented “I thought you were right handed” because they noticed i dont use it to do things like pop the fucking water pressure cap off my car engine to refill it’s leaky collant tank. Our current fridge may or may not be cool enough to store dairy in, we arent sure yet. we still need to buy a fucking dryer, we dont have a means to wash/dry clothes yet, and I dont own a lot of clothing so I’ve been stretching one outfit over a week.

Look, 2022 is fucking killing me. At this point I need roughly 6000$ to magically make it out of may without debts in three different places. Obvious not feasible, and it would still put me out roughly nuetral with no money. So... whatever I can get. Preferable enough to get the fucking car fixed so i have income. And then hopefully rent so we don't end up homeless again and with an eviction on our record.

If you read all this, please. Even if you dont wanna donate for nothing in return, it’s literally only a dollar to commission a cute little mood board.

[fencep0st]

so fucking glad there’s actually a following of sorts for the dear hunter on tumblr anyway did y’all see the shit they ( i think casey? can’t remember who it was exactly but i bet it was him) were posting on reddit about a sandwich shop parody of the acts i thought i was going insane 

[miyaniacs]

Ok so it’s my baby’s birthday soooo

@kageyamasbraincell  HAPPY BIRTHDAY  !!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ can’t wait to see you in a month ( fml it’s still a month ).

I love you sooo much. My special bokutobitch-bean™️, my TRIPLE 🅱️

I clearly lost any track and time on who’s your boo rn so I took Osamu ☀️ (I mean you’re simping for everyone either way)

Birthday mornings with Osamu

You wake up by something warm and fluffy on your face. Opening your eyes you're greeted  with the bright blue ones of your cat. “MIAUUUU” your cat Simba yells in your face. “Good morning to you too.” You groan and turn to the side to cuddle up to your boyfriend - but your face is met with the mattress. Well...he’s probably just in the bathroom and be back in a few minutes. About 10 minutes later he’s still not back, so you get up and start looking for him. Bathroom - no Osamu. Living-room - no Osamu. Kitchen - no Osa- you stop in your tracks as you see how messed up your kitchen is. There’s flour everywhere. You sigh and turn around to go back to bed when you see Simba on the kitchen table destroying the ribbons of two presents laying there. You’re about to put Simba in your arms as you hear the front door opening. The footsteps get closer to the kitchen and you hear some mumbling. You turn around, jut to be greeted by the sight of your boyfriend with a big paper bag in his arm, the keys in his hand and a big colourful bouquet in his other hand. His eyes wide open when he sees you standing there. “No. Go back to bed. You’re not supposed to be here.” He panics. He sets down the bag and the flowers and shoves you out of the room and back to your bed. “I - Osamu - “ you begin confused as fuck on what is happening right now. “No. stay here until I come to get you baby!” and he closes the door. You sigh and fall back in the bed.

Again you feel something on your face and you open your eyes again. Now you're met with the beautiful eyes of Osamu. He smiles down at you “Happy Birthday love.” he smiles and his thumb stokes over your cheek, while he leans downing kissing you gently. “Can I now go into the kitchen?” you ask and rub the sleep out of your eyes. “Yes sure - Sorry for that.” he awkwardly scratches his neck. He takes your hand in his and leads you to the kitchen. He stops to put his hands over your eyes, before you can enter the kitchen. “Osamuuu” you try to act annoyed but fail and start to laugh. “No. No complaining. Now take a step - good - and another... and the last one.” he puts his hands off your eyes and you look around the - now perfectly clean- kitchen. On the table next to the presets is the bouquet, Simba sitting next to it. There’re two sets of plates and cups. The cups already filled with Coffee and orange juice. On a plate in the middle of the table are tones of waffles. Osamu walks over to the fridge, while you walk over to the table. You hear the fridge close and turn around just to be met with a brightly smiling Osamu. His eyes sparkle as he holds out the cake he made for you. “Tadaaa” he smiles proudly. You look at him with big eyes “Can you put down the cake?” he does as you ask and the second he turns back to you, you jump in his arms and wrap yourself around him. He laughs and wraps is arms around you, holding you close. You nuzzle your head in his neck and mumble “thank you’s”. He puts you down and grabs your face is his hands, “No need to thank me baby and again H-A-P-P-Y-B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y.” with every letter he places kisses all over your face, finally kissing your lips after the Y, pulling you into a hug again afterwards. “I’m so happy to have you in my life.” He mumbles into your hair. Osamu pulls away and kisses your forehead. “Let’s eat now, before the waffles get cold.”

[lesbianlenas]

have thots abt this episode. will share tomorrow. gdoowntivbt ❤️

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Same motorcycle Yuu person from before, I am so sorry for the typos from before.

I was on my motorcycle all day and had very few breaks so, I was trying to hurry up typing. ^^''

But, motorcycle Yuu who is in a biker club(like me) and does poker runs to support things, charities, sa help centers, supporting helpful things and making the economy better. ^^

Except they get up at 6am and leave for the ride a bit, and doesn't get back until 6pm. They look dead, and as soon as they step into the dorm area or living room, they start to take off the 5 layers they have to wear to stay warm.

-Motorcycle guy

Consider a small side car for Grim. He even has a leather suit and helmet...

Alternatively this...

[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver - 25

Helloooo world. 

I had the week from hell so far, but tonight i felt a bit more energetic and I had the time to have a look at ch 25 and have it ready for publication.

But if you see any typos or errors, I am sorry I am still on the exhausted side. 

So, we have Elorcan to open the dances, because those two are cute.

Aelin and Rowan share a deep moment and Rowan finally closes a chapter of his life. 

A bit of angst that affects Aelin more than she expected and get ready for the hint of a crazy snowstom that will happen in ch 26.

Lorcan woke up all of a sudden and when he noticed the time on the clock he cursed his military training causing him to have a natural alarm at the crack of dawn. He tried to move but realised he was blocked by a female presence sprawled on him. Her dark hair all over his chest tickling him with a sweet scent invading his nostrils.

He was getting used to that presence at his side making his miserable life better with each passing day.

He felt his lips tug up in a small smile, something that he had been doing more and more lately thanks to the woman in his arms.

Rowan and the others joked but he was starting to realise that Elide really was doing a miracle on him and in he was willing to secretly admit that he was actually enjoying the end result.

Elide had been exhausted after her shift so he had offered her a lift and they had gone to his place claiming that it was the better option since it was closer. He had stayed with her all day at the firehouse and offered to cook for everyone. The day had been brutal and he was glad she could finally have a day off. 

With his hand he gently stroked her hair. He was never one for love gestures like caresses, but Elide had been changing his mind about that too. He would not admit it to a single soul but he also had started to enjoy cuddling. Lorcan still believe in his stone-cold attitude with other people but for Elide he was happy to drop the mask.

Slowly and carefully he disentangled himself trying very hard not to wake her up and shifted his legs off the bed, only to remember he was naked.

Something else he had discovered since having started to date Elide was the joy to have sex for a person he cared for. With Elide it meant something from the beginning especially when she was still scared. He had allowed time to get to terms with the idea and they had taken it day by day allowing Elide to take charge and let her dictate the pace. Slowly, with time Elide has started to become more curious and he showed her. That had in the end been something new for Lorcan too. In his life he had a long list of partners and then a spell with Essar which was just pure sex. Never with feelings involved. Because of one thing he was certain, what he had confessed to Rowan was getting truer each day. He was positive what he felt was love for Elide. He was doomed. Utterly lost. 

He got off the bed, wore his boxers and walked to the kitchen taking his phone with him. Finally Lorcan  got off the bed and walked out of the room closing  the door behind him not to risk wake up Elide and phoned Rowan, knowing that the man was an early riser like him.

“What?” A very grumpy Rowan answered the phone.

“Are you still sleeping?”

“Yes, you idiot. It’s 6am.” He said quietly.

“Why are you whispering?”

“Because Aelin is still sleeping.”

Lorcan started pacing the kitchen “remember when I told you I thought I was in love with Elide?”

“Yes,” growled Rowan on the other side.

“Well, I am now positive. I am in love with her.” Panic thick in his voice “What do I do?”

“Deal with it like all of us.”

“Damn it, Whitethorn I have no fucking clue what to do.”

“Tell her.”

Lorcan froze in his steps.

“Practice with me, Elide I love you.”

“I don’t think I can.” He went back pacing, running a hand through his hair.

The reply took a bit longer to arrive.

“Salvaterre, grow a pair and tell her. And don’t fucking call at 6am ever again.”

Aelin had answered and then hung up on him.

He placed the phone on the counter and went back trying to make breakfast. Maybe Rowan was right, he should just tell her, but he was terrified of messing this up. Worried that she might not feel the same way. He was not an easy man to love. 

He turned to make some coffee when he felt a pair of hands on his waist and a gentle kiss on his back and a groan left him because he had woken her up and Elide deserved some rest.

“Why are you up at this ungodly hour?”

He turned and smiled at seeing Elide in his shirt which on her was gigantic reaching her knees.

“Sorry,” he kissed her head tenderly. “Go back to bed.” With his hand he gently pushed her away.

Elide instead buried her face in his chest “you come too.”

He abandoned the coffee and followed her back.

Once they were again under the blankets he pulled her to him and gathered all of his courage. It was the perfect timing. He was an airforce pilot. He had seen combat. He could surely talk to Elide and tell her about his feelings.

“Eli, can we talk?”

“Uh oh…” she said, looking up to him “you are bailing on me.”

“I am not.” He took her hand and played with her fingers gathering time to think. “Are you okay with me? As in happy?”

She gave him the most beautiful smile that reminded why he was in love with her “you can be grumpy, but yes, I am happy with you.”

He nodded “neither of us have ever done this before so I am going to improvise.” He hadn’t been that nervous in a very long time “I…” he took a deep breath “please don’t be scared by what I am about to say.”

Elide pulled back from him staring at his weird expression.

“I love you.” He had said it. He had doomed himself.

Elide moved closer and kissed him deeply and he thought that surely was a good response.

“I do too.” She caressed his head “I know we haven’t been going out for a long time but yeah I have these strong feelings for you.” She kissed him again “and I love that I feel safe with you.” She chuckled “having a giant of a boyfriend helps.”

Lorcan’s mind locked on the word boyfriend. That was something else they hadn’t discussed yet. They had been dating but no labels. But he had to admit he liked the sound of it.

He grabbed her and pulled her half on top of him “so, I am your boyfriend?”

“Yes sir, and I am Commodore Lochan now.”

Lorcan laughed “considering how bossy you are, you can be the CO in the relationship.”

Elide straddled him and he realised that under the shirt she was still naked “Good. Now shut up and kiss me soldier, it’s an order from your superior.”

Lorcan pulled her down and, like a good soldier, kissed her. Deeply, showing her just how much he loved her.

***

Aelin and Rowan had fallen back asleep when Aelin’s phone buzzed on her nightstand.

“What now?” Aelin groaned, turning and slamming the phone with her hand “what the fuck is going on this morning?”

Rowan growled and pulled her to him hating the loss of contact with her body.

Aelin grabbed the phone and saw the text from Elide “good, your boss has told Elide he loves her. They are officially together.”

Rowan muttered something and Aelin smiled at his face smashed in the pillow, his eyes still shut and his hair, which was getting longer, was all messy. She took a picture of him. She loved watching his sleepy face. The hard lines of his face disappeared and his features relaxed. She scooted closer and his arms folded around her as of on instinct and buried her face in the crook of his neck then angled her face and kissed his cheek and felt a hint of stubble. Now that he was during his time off he was far more relaxed and he hadn’t bothered shaving. She admitted she kinda liked it. Aelin brushed his hair, enjoying a side of him that no one knew about.

She heard him moan gently at the touch. In the morning it was when he loved to cuddle the most. He liked contact with her any time of the day but the mornings were his weakness. He cracked open one eye and groaned again squeezing Aelin against him. Skin touching skin. Clothes in bed had become very quickly an annoying accessory and Aelin adored snuggling against him and wake up with the contact of his warmth against her.

“You are so needy in the morning.” He nodded energetically and Aelin kissed his lips. 

She felt his hands sneak down her back cupping her buttocks “come on buzzard, we can have breakfast and then we can go and do grampa things and go to the theatre later.” In response he held her tighter and Aelin smiled at this interesting side of him. She had a feeling the six months apart had made him crave even more contact with her. Not that she complained. She loved it.

She disentangled herself from him among his protests, got off the bed and reluctantly she wore her house clothes.

Rowan sat up slowly, his face still sleepy “what’s wrong with you this morning?”

“Blame Lorcan, he woke us up at the crack of dawn.”

He collapsed back on the bed, staring at the ceiling “I am going to kill him.” He groaned and then extended his arms to grab her “come back in bed.”

Aelin instead pulled his arm “food.”

“I am pretty sure you can make toast without me.”

She dropped his arm and stormed to the kitchen almost annoyed.

Rowan huffed loudly, threw his legs off the bed and sat down, grabbing his boxers. Once he was dressed he stood and joined Aelin. He reached her side and bumped her hips with his pushing her away “you are dangerous even when you toast bread.”

She gave him a very rude gesture and sat on the counter but instead of making toast, Rowan started making pancakes “and don’t say I am not nice to you.”

Aelin scoffed and folded her arms at her chest “sure, if you are in the mood.”

Rowan gasped and pinched her side “you little devil.” Then went back to cooking “I was thinking that we could go to my place and get my stuff. I have a lot of kitchen things that we can still use and I can move the last of my stuff here. If you are still up to the idea.” He suggested quietly wondering if it had been a spur of the moment suggestion after he had come back.

“Getting cold feet, captain?” She smirked “you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Rowan switched off the hob and moved to her “But I want to. My mind hasn’t changed from two days ago. I do want to move in with you. Officially.”

Her arms went around his neck “then let’s make this moving in day. We can go to the theatre tonight.”

“Are you sure?”

Aelin nodded “today is when it officially starts. Our life together. This will become house Whitethorn-Galathynius.”

Rowan’s heart started racing madly in his chest at the weight of her words. She was asking him to commit to her, to them. And although some of his fears still gripped his soul from time to time, he realised that, being with her, was all that actually mattered. He stepped closer to her “I am yours,” he had so many more things he wanted to say to her but that’s all he could muster. Her hand ran through his hair and the smile she gave him almost brought him to his knees “I am yours and you are mine.” She said softly against his lips.

“I am yours and you are mine.” He repeated.

Then her mouth moved to his neck and closer to his ear “now get a move on and finish those pancakes.”

Rowan laughed and pulled away “how did I end up with such a bossy woman at my side?”

She dunked her finger in the pancake mixture and smeared his nose with it “because you love a woman who likes to be on top and take charge.”

He cleaned his nose with a towel “you are a terror.”

It was an hour later when they arrived at his flat. It was the first time for Aelin and she was curious to see how he lived. He was very neat and tidy and super organised while she was the tornado. He would fold his clothes and put them away, she would throw them on a chair. In that aspect they were two complete opposites.

They stepped in and the flat was cold.

“Sorry, I haven’t been here in a while.” And went to turn the heating on.

The living room was simple with a bookshelf with a few books, a tv on a table, a sofa and a coffee table. There were no photos in the house and Aelin wondered if that was the house he had shared with Lyria.

“I never bothered much decorating.” He added when he noticed her expression “I moved out of the house I had with Lyria after I came back from deployment. I donated all of her stuff and got out of that place. I just couldn’t.” She saw the sadness in his eyes. No matter how horrible the woman had been she could see that he had loved her. “This has always been a place where to crash at night. It never felt like home.”

She brushed his hair “we now have our home.”

He nodded and kissed her then pulled away in case the kiss led to more. He had no intention of having sex with her in that flat.

“I have boxes,” he said “I’ll do the kitchen, could you please start with the living room?”

She grabbed some of the boxes he had pointed at and moved to the bookcase. That was a fun task at least, although he did not have many books.

“Almost all of your books are about flying.” She commented while browsing some of the titles with interest.

“I tend to have fiction on my e-reader. I can’t take physical books on a mission so my e-reader is my best buddy. I have hundreds of books in there.”

Slowly and methodically she emptied the bookcase and packed away his books. Once at the bottom shelf she noticed an hidden photo album at the back of the books.

She opened it and “Oh.” Surprise hit her when Aelin discovered it was a wedding album. Rowan and Lyria’s wedding album.

With a hint of curiosity she flipped through the pages and noticed that Lyria had been lovely. All that Aelin remembered of the woman was the bloodied and battered victim at the scene of an accident. Lyria was petite and graceful. She looked stunning in her wedding dress, then looked at Rowan in his dress mess uniform and her heart sank. He was gorgeous and much younger. He seemed happy.

She was so engrossed in the photos she did not notice him arriving at her side.

“Where did you find that?” He asked almost annoyed at her.

Aelin lifted her gaze and met his hurt stare “I was boxing the books. It was at the back, hidden.”

“I could not get rid of it,” he said, sitting at her side and grabbing the album “that’s why I hid it. 

“This is not something you bin.” She whispered. She had stashed all of Sam’s photos in a box full of memories about their life together. A box that was carefully hidden in the small attic her house had.

“We were happy in those photos, or so I want to believe.” He was silent for a while “I proposed before I left for a mission and promised we would get married upon my return. Once I was back Lyria had the wedding organised in a month.” He sighed, closing the book “soon after she started being unwell and we discovered she was pregnant. I should have known.” Aelin took his hand to offer silent comfort “it happened too soon to be mine, but I was so happy at the idea of becoming a dad that I ignored everything.” He stood and walked back to the kitchen and kept packing his stuff.

Aelin placed the photo album in the box and kept packing.

Once Aelin was done with the few belongings in his living room she joined him in the kitchen and noticed his full boxes “you really have loads of stuff for cooking.”

In response he gave her a wide grin, the sadness of a moment before completely gone “I was going to get us new stuff for our place but then I realised my stuff here is still in great condition so there is no need to waste money.”

Aelin raised her hands “you are the one doing the cooking. As long as you are fine…” She moved at his side and stared at him packing “can I do the bedroom or you don’t want me snooping?”

“Go on. Most of my clothes are already at our place. There’s not much there.”

She waltzed to his room and noticed it was even emptier than the living room. She opened the closet and found very few items in there. She folded the clothes and placed them in the bag and then moved to the nightstands and opened the drawers and took out the few items inside. In one of the drawers she found a box at the very bottom, hidden in the corner. She had a look and found out it was wedding rings. Hear heart ached. She had stashed away her engagement ring in her box of memories in the attic. A few times she had thought about selling it but never had the courage to do it. That ring was a promise she made to Sam and she would leave it with all the other pieces of a life that was probably never meant to be.

Aelin placed the tiny box in the one used for packing. Just like the wedding photos it was something that could be hidden away but never binned. No matter the hate. He had been married. Before they met they both had loved other people and that was a part of their lives that could not just be thrown away. It was part of who they were.

She finished packing the room and joined Rowan still in the kitchen finishing up the last few things.

“I think that’s us.” 

They did one final walkthrough and made sure they took everythin. Aelin helped Rowan load the boxes in his car and then he walked back to lock the door behind him but not before giving one last look at the place, ready to close that chapter of his life forever.

Once back in the car he took his place at the wheel and Aelin placed her hand on his knee “are you okay?” noticing his strange stare.

Rowan nodded shifting the gear into drive “I feel as if I finally closed a painful and chaotic chapter of my life and I somehow feel relieved.”

She kissed his temple “now it’s time for our chapter.” Then she giggled “just make sure there is a lot of smut.”

Rowan burst out laughing “no pressure, then?”

They got back to their house and dumped the boxes in the spare room except for the kitchen one. Rowan unpacked it and confessed he was looking forward cooking in an adult kitchen.

“Look at you. I am going to dress up like a frying pan maybe you will find me hot.”

Rowan stood and walked to her and pulled Aelin to him “I always find you hot.” His mouth close to her ear, his hand sneaking up her t-shirt, while the other one found its way in her shorts, pushing her closer to him, making her feel just how much he found her attractive.

Aelin kissed him fiercely and pushed him toward the counter “I want you naked, captain.”

Rowan pulled back and tugged off his t-shirt and his shorts, standing naked in front of her. “Your turn now.” Aelin removed her clothes and stopped in front of him “what are you going to do now?” She placed a hand on his chest and he grabbed her, lifting Aelin on the kitchen island. She lay on her back and locked her legs behind him, pulling him closer. Rowan bent over and kissed her belly “what about we started writing that smut chapter?” He added against her skin, then slowly moving down between her legs. Aelin moaned and her back arched “write away, captain…”

*

Aelin arrived at the fire station the next morning with a big smile on her face. She walked to the ambulance and climbed in when she noticed Lysandra in there working. She jumped on the gurney “Can I ask you something?”

“Go,” she said while storing away some medicines.

Aelin took a deep breath “when did you know that Aedion was the one?”

Lysandra stopped and turned “did something happen between you and the captain?”

“We officially moved in together. We went to get all his stuff from his flat.” She explained “we might have said things.”

“As in? Did you guys fight?”

Aelin shook her head remembering how they spent the rest of the afternoon before heading for the theatre.

“I don’t have an exact moment of when I realised Aedion was the man. All of a sudden I wanted him at my side forever. I just realised that he was the one.”

“I think the relationship with Rowan shifted.”

“Bad or good shift?” Lysandra abandoned her box of supplies and went into full gossip mode.

“Good. I think things between us just got serious.”

Lysandra smiled at her friend “and you are okay with it? Are you fine?”

Aelin nodded “Yes,” she brushed her hair “yes. I love the idea and it feels right.”

Lysandra squealed “I am so happy for you two. I knew you two were going to marry next.”

Aelin rolled her eyes “no one spoke of marriage. Yes, things developed but that is still very far away.” Then she looked at her watch “gotta go and get changed.” She jumped off the gurney “this stays between us.”

“Yes, mrs Whitethorn.” Aelin rolled her eyes one more time and left to get ready for their shift.

Once she arrived back in the common room she found it empty. That was strange. She walked out in the yard and found her answer.

Aedion, being the crazy military man that he was, was running rope rescue drills with Borte and the rest of the team was helping by playing victims.

“Captain,” said Aedion noticing her arrival “I just thought to use these quiet moments to do something useful.” She looked at Ress and Brullo playing victims and their face clearly showed that they would have been happier lazying in the common rom in front of the tv. A treat that Aedion allowed them only after he had executed his daily cruel routine. He believed in drills and training and Aelin was more than happy to give him free rain. When her workload would allow it, she would join in as well.

“Go on lieutenant.” She nodded, then turned to Borte “listen to him and you will do well.”

The woman nodded and they went back to training. 

Aelin on the other hand, went back to her office and buried herself on paperwork. That was the downside of being a captain, she had to deal with all the staff related issues for both shifts; holidays, rosters and any other issue coming her way. In front of her she had a small pile for staff requests, most of them time off requests she had to squeeze in in the next roster. The next bigger pile were the reports for the last call they had. It was her job to finalise them and file them. She hated writing reports. That’s why she was now procrastinating. One report lay in front of her abandoned while she was texting with Rowan. He told her he was having lunch with Gavriel later on. She told him to have fun and leave the other women alone. Aelin was about to go back to her paperwork when dispatch alarm went off and she laughed that she had been saved by the bells.

She ran out of her office and to her engine donning her turnout gear left on the floor with the others, jumped on the vehicle and put her jacket on while Nox drove out followed by truck and the ambulance.

“Structure fire,” said Nox.

“Don’t you just love mornings?”

The drive did not take long. Aelin jumped off the engine followed by her team. Luckily the house was small “Ansel, Luca I want you to vent the back.” Then she turned to Aedion “I can see a basement, take Ress and Brullo and do a search there.” Then she looked at the new recruit “Borte, Manon, you are with me, we’ll do a sweep of the first floor.” The three women moved inside “we don’t have much time,” she shouted over the radio “the fire is deep in the structure. Sweep and once you are clear you get out.” She turned right and indicated to Borte and Manon to cover the rest of the floor.

“Fire department, call out.” She shouted. Crouching low Aelin began to sweep methodically the room, visibility was bad and the fire was quickly spreading. They did not have much time.

 “Fire department, call out.” She was about to turn around when she saw a foot peeking from behind the sofa. “I got someone,” she shouted over the radio.

Aelin was about to grab the elderly lady when she perked up and started screaming “let me die.” The woman shouted and resisted Aelin’s help almost pushing her on the ground.

“We need to go.” Aelin grabbed the woman’s arms but she was much stronger than expected and pushed her away again “I need assistance in the living room.” She called over the radio and Manon appeared a moment later.

“Let me die. Let me die.” Kept repeating the woman fighting Aelin.

Aelin nodded to Manon and they grabbed one the shoulders and the other one the legs and carried out the elderly lady who kept trashing all the way outside. They placed her on the gurney and Lysandra and Elide took care of the woman who was now weeping hard.

Aedion joined her “basement clear.”

Aelin removed her mask “guys scene is clear, get the water going now.” Then she stared at the woman on the gurney and wondered.

They did a secondary search “fire originated in the kitchen,” said Brullo joining her outside “cooking oils fire gone wild.”

Aelin nodded “let’s pack up and return to quarters.”

The journey back to the station was quiet and Aelin could not remove from her head the plea from the woman to let her die. What kind of pain would drive someone to beg to let them die in a fire?

Once back at the station she hid back in her office and tried to work again, but after an hour she gave up. She got out and called her team “engine, let’s go for a ride. Aedion, keep truck here. I have the radio with me. If we get a call we’ll see you on the scene.” She jumped on the engine and Nox was at the wheel waiting for her orders “Orynth General.” The man nodded and the engine drove out of the station.

“Do you think she did it?” Asked Asterin from the back.

“I don’t know,” replied Aelin, her gaze fixed outside.

Nox parked the rig just outside of the hospital “you stay here just in case.” She got off the vehicle and walked into the building and then the A&E reception “Hi Sorscha,” she said to the woman.

“Hi Aelin.”

“I believe Lys and Elide dropped off an elderly lady we rescued from a fire. I was wondering how she is.”

“Yes, Mrs Perkins.” She typed something in her computer “smoke inhalation mostly and some first degree burns.”

“Did you manage to contact any family?”

Sorscha nodded “her daughter is driving from Illium just now.”

Aelin nodded “can I go and see her?”

“Med bay three.” And the doctor pointed her in the right direction.

Once there she knocked against the beam to announce her presence “Mrs Perkins?”

“Yes?” Said the woman shakily.

Aelin moved a step in “Hi, my name is Aelin, I am one of the firefighters who rescued you.”

The woman looked away “why did you do that?” The woman’s voice was strained.

“It’s my job. I can’t let people burn inside buildings.” She explained quietly.

The woman’s hazelnut eyes met hers “I begged you, though. I wanted to die.” Her voice broke and Aelin noted again the pain in the woman’s voice. 

She sat on the chair at her side and took her hand “why?”

The woman was silent for a moment “I lost my husband six months ago. We had been together for fifty two years.” Aelin’s heart hurt at the pain in the woman’s stare “it might make me weak, but I miss him and without him I feel lost.”

Aelin took a deep breath, fighting the tears threatening to appear. For a brief second her treacherous heart showed a life without Rowan and she could share the woman’s pain.

“You are far too young to understand.”

“A year and a half ago I lost my fiancee. He was a firefighter too. He died in a fire,” she confessed, pain gripping her heart. Yes, losing Rowan would probably break her completely, but Sam’s death had pushed to an abysm that she struggled to come back from for a while. “it almost destroyed me. I gave up on everything for a while. I felt like I could not go on without him. My friends brought me back from the darkness.”

“What was his name?”

“Sam.” She gripped the woman’s hand “I am sure your husband would like to know that you are still alive and well. He wouldn’t want you to give up for him.”

The woman nodded and in that instant her radio went off.

“Go,” said the lady “go and save someone else.”

Aelin rushed out and joined the engine “let’s go, guys.” And they rushed to another call.

An hour later engine and truck made it back to the station. Everyone went to their duties and Aelin walked back to the office, finally trying to catch up to all the paperwork. At least she had a good excuse for Dorian if it was late. Saving people had the priority.

She was finally in the zone and making some progress when someone knocked at her door.

“Come in,” she almost snarled.

Aedion popped his blonde hair in the crack “someone for you at the front.”

Aelin sighed and followed him on the apparatus floor and saw a woman waiting for her with a box in her hands “Hi, are you Aelin?”

She nodded.

“My name is Ellie, I believe you saved my mum from a fire this morning.”

“You are mrs Perkin’s daughter.”

The woman in front of her nodded and offered her the box “as a thank you to all of you. I got it from the bakery down the road.”

“Thank you,” Aelin grabbed the box and placed it on the big bumper of the engine “how’s your mum?”

“They will discharge her tomorrow. Given her age they want to keep her in for a night to keep an eye on her.”

“I went to see her.”

“My mum…” the woman started and Aelin knew she was restraining the tears from coming “since dad died, she has barely left the house. My husband and I live in Illium. I go once a week and do a big shopping for her, help her in anyway I can. But she gave up on everything.”

“She told me.”

Then the woman sighed “I convinced her to come and live with us. The climate is much milder. Plus she has grandkids and I hope playing grandma will cheer her up.”

Aelin smiled fondly “I am so glad.”

“Thank you for dragging her outside. I could not have been able to cope with losing my mum so soon after my dad.”

“No need to thank me, it’s my job.”

The woman gave her a nod and a smile “I need to go back to the hospital. I just thought to come and say thank you.”

“Give her our best.”

“Will do.” And she walked away.

Aelin stared at the woman disappear for a moment, then she grabbed the box and went to the common room.

“I bring goodies,” the box high up and eyes turned to her at the announcement “from the daughter of the lady from the house fire this morning.” She placed the box on the table and her team ran to it as soon as they recognised its origin. They w ere all fan of the bakery.

“Leave some for Lysandra, Elide and Evangeline. They are the only ones working.” She smiled and walked away ignoring the sweets, something that Aedion noticed and followed her into her office.

“Are you okay?”

Aelin nodded.

“It’s not like you to pass on sweet treats from the bakery down the road.”

Aedion sat down across from her, worry deep in his expression “ok, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Will you stop it?” He almost shouted “I can totally tell there is something wrong but all of a sudden you have decided that you don’t need Lys and me anymore. I know you have posh boy but we have known you longer than him.” It was petty, but he was not letting her shutting down once again.

Aelin stood in a swift motion, facing him “that lady is what is wrong. She lost her husband of fifty two years six months ago and it just opened up wounds I thought had finally started to heal.” She paced behind the desk “her pain reminded me of my own. And every time I think I am getting better my fears come back, reminding me that Rowan has a dangerous job too and makes me want to bail on him and go back being on my own because I cannot go through that pain again.” She let out a ragged breath “this time it could destroy me for good. And I am so scared.”

He moved a step to her and hugged her tight “have you told him?”

Aelin shook her head “it’s just stupid fears,” her voice on the verge of a sob.

“No they are not and he needs to know. He deserves to know. The man is crazy about you.”

She sobbed in his arms her limbs lightly shaking “I love him, but I am so damn scared.”

“You should talk to Lys.” He said against her hair “even after years she is still terrified every single time that alarm goes off.” He sighed “and although her job is less scary, I worry every time she and Elide go out on their own. Until the ambulance comes back in here.”

Aelin pulled back from the embrace.

“Talk to him, okay?”

She nodded.

“Now come and eat some delicacies before the hungry hungry hippos we have in the common room polish up the entire box. You should have some. You saved that woman after all.”

Aelin was back in her office after she had managed to eat the last bits of cakes left. She also felt better. The chat with Aedion had helped and she had texted Rowan. She had to talk to him. Aedion had been right. Rowan deserved to know.

She was about to go back to work for the billionth time that day, when Aedion joined her again “hey, I know you are trying to work, but Orynth just got a snowstorm alert. It’s quite bad.”

Aelin got into action “I want to make sure we have supplies, have Ress check that the backup generators are in good shape. Make sure the truck and engine and the ambulance are in good shape if we get a call.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Aedion left and Aelin texted Rowan to get to the firehouse quickly. She did not want him around town when the storm hit. He texted back saying that he was driving Gav home and heading to the station.

Once in the common room she joined the others in front of the tv to listen to the news. The meteorologists expected high levels of snow and extreme temperatures.

“Ok, people we are in for a treat and probably a long shift. Let’s close the doors for now to keep the storm out.”

The squad spread out and went about their duties. Aelin went to phone Dorian for an update and Dorian gave her permission to use the house for shelter for anyone requesting it.

She tried to phone Rowan again and when he didn’t answer she started to worry. The weather was taking a turn for the worse.

The dispatch alarm went off calling for the ambulance assistance. The three paramedic ladies ran to the ambulance and Aedion joined Lysandra “be careful out there. It’s getting worse. Just drive safely, please.” He gave her a deep kiss “I love you.” She kissed him back and the three left.

Five minutes later they were on the scene and Lysandra gasped when she was off the ambulance and saw who was with the victim.

“Is that Rowan?” Asked Elide joining her.

“I took Gavriel home. I went to get something for Aelin before heading to the station and then I saw  her on the ground. I think she bashed her head on the pavement.” He explained not leaving the side of the injured woman.

Lysandra noticed the good job he had done “you blocked her neck.”

“She was unconscious when I found her, but she has been breathing and has a pulse.”

“You’d make a good paramedic. You have the right instincts. ”

Lysandra grabbed the backboard while Rowan placed the collar around the woman’s neck.

“I’ll help you ladies.” And he lifted the board on the gurney with Lysandra.

“Go to the station, she is waiting for you.”

“Be safe, the three of you. The roads are nasty.”

Lysandra nodded and they climbed in the ambulance. He shut the doors and patted the door to tell them they were good to go.

Rowan walked back to his car and dumped the food on the passenger seat. Aelin had been craving a burger from Emrys in a while and they haven’t been able to go so he decided to surprise her.

Getting to the station took him longer than usual, the storm had worsened and visibility was almost non existent. He hoped they didn’t have to go out on a call.

He walked through the door and found the firehouse quite hectic. It seemed like the guys were busy getting ready.

“Captain…” Brullo waved at him.

“Is Aelin in her office?”

“She is in the gear room doing equipment checks.”

“Thanks Brullo.”

Rowan walked into the gear room and found her sitting on the floor playing with the oxygen tanks.

“I bring food.” He waved the bag at her and Aelin looked up at the sound of his voice.

“Ro.” She stood and jumped quickly in his arms “you made it.”

“I also bumped into Lys and Elide. And helped. I am the one who called for the ambulance.”

“Paramedic Whitethorn indeed.” She kissed him gently “now sit,” and snatched the bag of food from him.

“You really love the food more than me.”

Aelin kissed him “I love you but Emrys burgers are amazing. And I love you even more for bringing this.”

He sat on the floor with her and stole a few fries. “You should have gotten one for yourself.” And pushed her burger to him “come on, take half.” He took a bite and pulled his arm around her shoulder while she munched away happily.

“Can we talk?” She said softly after a while, taking the last bit of her burger.

“Of course we can.”

Aelin turned and kneeled in font of him, placing her hands on his knees “we got a call this morning. An old lady we think torched her own place to kill herself.” She told him “when I tried to save her she begged me to let her die.” She looked at him “I went to the hospital to see how she was and we talked.” Her hand grabbed Rowan’s, twining her fingers with his “she lost her husband of fifty two years six months ago. She could not live without him anymore.” She sighed deeply “it opened some wounds. Wounds I thought had now healed and my fears came back and with them the need to bail. To not get attached because the pain could be too much this time.” She sniffled “ but I am not leaving you, no matter how scared I am.” Rowan cupped her face and kissed her “I have the same fears. The night you told me what happened while I was away and walked on the balcony and left you I had the same thoughts. I wanted to bail too.” He kissed her again “I am not leaving you, though because although we haven’t been together for fifty two years, I can’t imagine not having you at my side.”

Aelin sobbed and nested against his chest, incapable of utter any more words. It terrified her sometimes how quickly she and Rowan had become involved after they stopped fighting, how deep the connection. She hoped they were meant to last, because in his arms she could only imagine a future with her silver-haired man.

“We are okay, Fireheart.” And hugged her tight “we can talk about our fears. You can talk to me, you know.”

She nodded “I know.” She sat back down “thank you for the burger.”

A kiss in her head “it was my pleasure.”

“So what do you do for equipment checks?” Rowan changed the topic trying to cheer up Aelin.

“Mostly checking that the tools are working, but most importantly check that the oxygen tanks have been filled.”

He stood and went to grab her jacket and tried it on “this is heavier than I thought.”

Aelin smiled and went to get a bundle “remove your shoes.”

He looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“The boots are always inside the trousers. We leave this near the trucks so when we get a call we just remove the shoes, step into the boots and pull up the trousers and then wear the jacket.”

Rowan put his feet in the boots as instructed, then Aelin helped him pull up the trousers and the suspenders and placed the jacket on him.

“So, so sexy right now.” She took a photo of him and then walked closer and kissed him “I have so many naughty thoughts right now.”

Rowan pinned her to the wall and kissed her avidly but she stopped when she heard the sound of the backup generator kick in “that’s the backup generators. Which means a possible power outage. The fun is about to start.”

Rowan removed the uniform very quickly and together they joined the rest in the common room.

“What’s the update?” She asked.

Aedion was about to reply when the dispatch alarm went off.

“Let’s get moving.” Shouted Aelin while running to the engine. Rowan joined her “be careful, all of you.”

“You play host here. Sometimes people come here for shelter.”

He nodded and gave her a quick last kiss before shutting the engine’s. In silence he watched the three vehicles roll out of the firehouse and disappear quickly in the heavy snowfall. 

All he had to do now was wait and hope they would make it back safely.

He left the apparatus floor and sat on the sofa in the common room, the place eerily silent.

And waited…

TAGS

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[give-grian-rights]

CHAPTER TWO HOUR. CHAPTER TWO HOUR. I AM SO TIRED. IT IS 6AM. TELL ME IF HTERE’S TYPOS AND THAT NORMAL STUFF

Bets Against The Void, Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Whitelist au from @petrichormeraki

Crossposted on AO3

Tubbo quietly chuckled, smiling fondly as their friend squawked indignantly. “Tubbo! I’m serious, explain some shit, fuckin’ nerd!” Tommy scoffed, prodding at their side with his elbow. Tubbo hushed him, their smirk still lingering.

  “Hermitcraft is a super crazy popular server. If you’ve ever searched for examples of builds on your tablet, chances are, they’re from one of the Hermits. Or if you looked up something about redstone! Anything! You’ll find one of their instructions. They’re geniuses- just, complete geniuses. Grian’s one of them-”

  “Grian’s one of them!?” Tommy exclaimed, his eyes shooting open. Tubbo’s grin widened, nodding vigorously. “Yes! He’s the newest Hermit, last I heard.. Most of the guys he’s teammates with every MCC, they’re usually other Hermits!” They’d continue explaining to the best of their ability.

  “Should’ve fuckin’ started with the fact that Grian’s here! That fuckin’ dude! He killed Dream three times! Three times, Tubbo!” The blond continued with his excited shouting. Well, that certainly fixed the situation, Tubbo mused.

  The brunett nodded along, chuckling. “Yeah! He, and most of the others, really- post all that much right now. The new World Client, with the axolotls and caves ‘n stuff? They’ve started posting and sharing discoveries about that.  I know Grian did, at least. But considering they call themselves the ‘Hermits’ it makes sense to be a bit inactive, yeah?” Tubbo shrugged, tapping the chilly cool sandstone beneath them.

  Tommy nodded dumbly, glancing around the room for a moment. Tubbo, meanwhile, had pulled their tablet up. The holographic comm system was displayed infront of them, everything on the screen they touched being read aloud to them.

  Launching an accessibility app, the tablet began describing aloud the block palette, dimensions, and colors. As the tablet’s robotic voice played in his com system, reading aloud the details of his surrounding, Tubbo nodded along to an incoherent rant from Tommy.

Tubbo wasn’t too sure what Tommy was ranting about- likely MCC, and Grian. Grian got a kill on Tommy, last MCC, if they remember correctly.  The brunnett wouldn’t be surprised if that was the target of the blond’s current tangent. Tommy hadn’t even been able to get a word out, when Grian began shouting vigorous apologises between matches.

  The descriptions from the tablet were long, and boring. The robotic voice drawing on and on, as it attempted to describe the intricate room. Shutting down the program, Tubbo tuned back into Tommy. 

  “Fuckin’ am..So fucking tired. Of course we ended up here. It’d be to easy if we’d just be let back into Dream SMP, huh? Think Dream even knew we were out? I bet not. Even if he does, probably didn’t even care, fuckin’ dick. Bet that green asshole’s just sitting over his code and shit, simping over Gogy-” The blond ranted heatedly. The blind teen could hear the shifting and chustling of fabric, before the boy’s voice became muffled.

  With his head pressed against his knees, legs drawn to his chest, Tommy sat there practically panting. His chest heaved, the rage draining from him. “Why is all- all of this, always so complicated, Tubbo?” Blue eyes turned to meet the scarred, burnt front of the other.

  Tubbo picked at faded and torn tennis shoes, tentatively listening. The rymnatic pattern of the boy’s breathing, and the crashing overhead, offered some vague comfort. “All of what?” They’d tilt their head.

  The younger of the two quietly sighed, his mouth pressed in a thin line. His hand clutched the bottom of his torn, tan cargo pants, fidgetting with the frayed ends. “Us. Shit with us, it always gets so fuckin’ complicated. Big Man, you’re president. You’re- you’re the fucking president, now, Tubbo.”

  The bunnett’s brows furrowed together, as they inched closer to their friend. “Yeah. But it’s- it’s still us, y’know? If- if life was easy, then we’d be missing out on a lot of things. What if we had just never met-”

“We’d always meet eachother, Tubbo. There’s no fuckin’ getting rid of me, even in your fantasy world.” The blond nudged the teen’s shoulder, a wolfish grin evident in his tone.

  That made the other crack a smile, shaking their head. “I hope so, Tommy.” They’d chuckle, shaking their head. The weight of the day came crashing down all again. Before the rushing thoughts could boggle down their mind, Tubbo slumped against Tommy’s side sigh an exhausted sigh.

  “This is just, livin’ the fucking life, huh?” Tommy remarked, looking over his friend. The tall boy already shifted himself, his long legs sprawled out on the floor with his back leaned against sandstone walls.

  His head leaned against that of his compaignian, half-lidded blue eyes giving one last surveillance of the room. “We’ll figure this shit out tomorrow..” Tommy mumbled, glancing down at the brunette.

  Tubbo was already asleep, their expression finally one of peace. Tommy wasn’t given a moment more to appreciate the serenity of the quiet room, before he’d be pulled into slumber as well.

  Both of the teens were stirred awake by the whirring noises of an active portal- the Netherportal beside them, with particles flying, gaveway to two players. Tommy kicked himself up to his feet, defensively. Tubbo stumbled along with him, pulling back away from the strangers.

Though two stepped out, only one immediately caught Tommy’s eyes.

  “W- Holy shit!  You’re Grian!” Tommy squawked indignantly.

  Tubbo’s head immediately shot up, excitably breaking into a grin. Any exhaustion the two held was wiped away- neither was sure how long their unrestful sleep had been, but it was far more than other nights. 

  The target of the excitement, Grian, sheepishly stood there, nodding. “Uh, yeah! You guys are Tommy and Tubbo, yeah?  I’ve seen you at most of the MCC’s I’ve been to. You both did really good last time, by the way! I’m really looking forward to the next one!” 

This was easily the closest they probably ever were to the dirty blond. He also looked far more at ease, on this server. The iconic figure, ever-present in the community, had his wild mop of a fringe frazzled and framing his face.

  Poking under the bangs, Tommy could now see faint, ragged lines from a scar, along with other various healed-over wounds. Another contrary to how either of them had seen Grian, at MCC, was the large circular glasses loosely sat on his face.

Seeing one of his heroes like this (The only one that hadn’t betrayed, killed him, turned against him, despised him-) in such a..Domestic state, was bizarre. Tommy was scrambling for words, starting and giving up on getting his tongue around what to say.

  “This is so cool! Hi! I used to watch and- and listen, to a lot of your old build tutorials! A lot of people on our server would always say how we learned building from you!” Tubbo would blurt out, practically bouncing on their heel. Grian turned to the teen, slightly shocked but amused. 

  “Oh! I- well thank you! I’m glad I could be any help at all- my builds are nothing compared to some of what the other Hermits have going on..Speaking of others- this is Stress!” He’d take the opportunity to escape the small spotlight, glancing towards the brunette woman next to him sheepishly.

  The woman- Stress, apparently, quietly chuckled. A fond smile grazed her face, as she looked over towards the two teenagers. “Ello there, Loves! Sorry to interrupt your fan meetup,” She teased, side-eyeing the dirty blond beside her.  “We just wanted to come and check in, is all! X told us two to come visit, yeah?”

  Tommy quietly hummed skeptically,  surveying her. Short brown hair hung barely as low as her shoulder, a neat, white, blue, and pink flower-crown sat upon her head. The colors must’ve been very purposeful, considering they matched with her colorful outfit of the same color.

  “Fine, sure..Well, we’re still fuckin’ breathing, and we’re here. So you don’t really need to be here any longer, yeah?” Tommy scoffed, slumping back against the wall. Tubbo was already standing, nudging at his side. 

  “Thank you, for checking in. I- I’m sure this is a bit of a strange situation. That- Yeah, that’s my bad.” They chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of their neck. This caught Stress’ attention, turning towards the tene.

  “Oh, no! This isn’t a problem at all. Dear, this happens all the time. Grian just- just appeared, one day, in our previous server. We walk out the portal for the first time- and boom! There that weirdo is!” Stress chuckled, her grin unwavering as she gave a playful nudge to the dirty blond beside her.

  Grian scoffed, a smirk edging at his lips as he rolled his eyes. “Okay, but I’m not the only example of that happening- you didn’t have to pick me out specifically!”

  “Sure I do, Love! You’re the first new Hermit to join, after me and Zed! I get to bully you, lovingly!” She cheered. Stress’ energy was absolutely efficacious, Tubbo couldn’t help but smile and cackle at her and Grian’s banter.

“Uh huh,” Grian scoffed, dramatically crossing his arms. “Last I checked, that was Iskall’s job to bully newcomers- oh, Gord, when you all walked out of the portal and they just decked me ? I mean, it didn’t really hurt all that bad, but it’s a matter of the principle!”

  Stress seemed like she was almost gonna break down with laughter, clutching her stomach. “I forgot they did that with you, too! Iskall certainly is one that needs work with their introduction, that absolute weirdo!” She chostled, shaking her head fondly.

  She then turned towards the two teens, reassuringly smiling. “They won’t give you any hard time, they’re just like that sometimes, especially in the beginning of a new season..They’re usually just incomprehensible in the beginning, I learnt!” She giggled, covering her mouth.

  Tubbo awkwardly laughed, nodding. “Yeah- they, they sound like something.” It was..A strange environment, to be sure.

  Sure, they knew of the Hermits, their reputation impossible to avoid- but most outsiders didn’t know much about the actual Hermits. They went by that title for a reason.

  Tommy was having similar thoughts, he felt as if he was completely imposing on, everything. But he couldn’t find it in himself to care- it frankly was..Warming, almost, to see this. He missed being able to have that, on Dream’s server. 

  The blond in particular seemed to have tuned out, because by the time he snapped out of those thoughts, Grian was speaking again.

  “We’re glad to see you’re both alright, but, I don’t think we’ve been exactly great hosts. You both have gotta be hungry- I know the last thing you two seem to want is help, but..We’d be happy to help you however we can.  We can go get you fresh, real food. Or- you both come with us, and we take you to our central area, the Cowmercial district.”

  Tommy stared blankly at Grian for a moment, brows knitted together in bewilderment. “The… Cow..merical district?” He’d repeat, squinting.

  Grian snickered, nodding. “Yeah! The name just stuck. It’s our shopping district. We have a bakery- it’s never, ever too early for cake. There’s Doc’s shop, but that’s all villager-bought, if it’s the rare occasion that it’s stocked at all- so the Bakery may be the only option, for today.” He glanced back at Stress, who nodded in agreement.

  “Only if you’d want to,” Stress would interject. “Either of us could come bring you food here- but, we figured you might want to just..Get out. You’re allowed to leave here whenever you want- but, navigating our server by yourself, for the first time? Not the easiest.”

  The two teens glanced towards eachother. Tubbo looked like they were practically buzzing in place, at the idea of exploring the Hermits’ world. Tommy watched them for a moment, before quietly scoffing.

  “..Yeah, okay, sure- how the hell do we even get out of here though, for starters?” Tommy crossed his arms, inching closer towards Tubbo. He, for one, was really not a fan of having to fly out.

  Stress cheered excitably, pulling open her inventory. The woman promptly dropped a stack each to the two teens. “I came prepared, just in-case!” She grinned. With a swipe of her arm, the digital screen dissipated.

  “If you know how to use elytras, X already said he’s more than happy to lend out two from the back-up system. I have some to spare, as well.  But- you two never seemed the most comfortable in the air, during flight-based games.” Grian would add awkwardly, adjusting his own wings behind him. 

  Tommy didn’t pay much attention to the words- instead, he promptly threw open his inventory, gawking at the full stack of pearls. “What! I don’t think i’ve ever had this many pearls! Holy shit!” He pulled out the stack of sixteen.

  One pearl manifested in his hand, while a holographic icon hovered beside him. The pixel-image of an enderpearl, with a large 15x in the corner in white font was projected for only his vision. The blond couldn’t remember a time he had so many enderpearls.

  “Thank you! Wow- yeah, pearls aren’t really common in our server!  This- this is really nice!” They felt giddy, as they pulled their’s out as well, the action muscle-memory.

  “Well, I’m glad you two can put them to good-use, then!” She chuckled. The idle question of how can a server lack pearls skimming through her head for a moment.

  Within seconds of her saying that, Tommy had already blindly tossed one of his pearls- promptly falling down from the ceiling, and landing on the floor with a short shriek. Tubbo straightened up from the sidelines, tilting their head.

  “Tommy! What did you do?” Tubbo called out accusatorily, as they quickly popped their surrounding descriptor back on.

  “Nothing!” Tommy quickly yelled back, lunging to their feet with a stumble as they dusted themselves off.

  At the sidelines, Stress and Grian cackled, watching in lighthearted amusement. Tommy could feel his face flushed red with brief embarrassment, quickly attempting to play it off.

  “Truer answer; I was being awesome. That was what, Tubbo. Are we eating or what? I want to throw pearls and go places. And eat, that too.” He quickly turned towards the two Hermits expectantly, narrowing his eyes at them.

  Grian grinned, nodding. “Yes, yes we are! I have boats. Go ahead and pop up with your pearls, and we’ll fly out to you.” He explained briefly, pulling the boats from his inventory. The thin, digitized object manifesting in his hand. 

  Tommy turned expectantly to Tubbo. “You got this, Toob?” He tilted his head, watching his friend. Tubbo had immediately nodded vigoriously, running over towards the center of the room, the ceiling above open to the water. 

  “Yeah! I’ve got this, Big Man! No sweat!” They gave a toothy grin, shifting the enderpearl in their hand. Arching their arm back, the teen cautiously stepped back.

  Their communicator had continued reading off the details of the room into their thin earpiece,  primarily the dimensions. All they had to do was hit the wall leading up to the surface to get out. They could do that, surely.

  With a huff of effort, they chucked the pearl. They heard it  break through the under-surface of the water, and then they were submerged. Breaching the surface, they gasped for a moment. The ocean rippled, clothes heavy and soaked. They were certainly glad they had been in their casual clothes, rather than their presidential outfit.

  Within a moment, Tommy was up beside them, quietly gasping as well. The blond pushed his hair back, lightly nudging Tubbo away from the gaping hole in the water beneath them- and then Grian and Stress flew out.

  The sound from the rockets were deafened from beneath the ocean, thankfully. Only a thin trail of smoke followed them, the sight certainly unfamiliar to the fireworks the two teens had been accustomed to.

  Both Hermits had dived straight into the shallow water with a splash, before the dirty-blond dropped down two boats.

“I want to drive! Tommy, i’m driving us!” Tubbo cried out, at the sound of the wood hitting the water. Beside them, Tommy scoffed.

“Tubbo! I’m not gettin’ motion sickness! We just woke up, no way. Your idea of ‘driving’ is no one elses, my friend.” He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he pulled himself into the boat. Beside him, Tubbo whined.

  “C’mon, man! Nothing like a bit of motion-sickness to get the day started!” They playfully remarked. Despite that, they had already accepted their defeat, pulling up into the boat.

  Stress and Grian watched the teens carefully, with Stress laughing lightheartedly at the banter between them as she pulled herself into the boat, behind Grian.

  Grian, on the otherhand, was mostly quiet. A thin wisp of a smile was present, conveying one of bemusement. Tommy didn’t get a good look, but, he couldn’t quite pinpoint the look from Grian. He didn’t like it.

  “Alright,” The older Brit at hand started. “We’re real close. No one should be at Looky Looky At My Cookie- and it should be early enough that there aren’t any real occupants at the Cowmerical District.” He explained, turning the boat as he got a small start ahead of the teens.

  “Sure, then! That sounds g- wait, what’s that name?”

“C’mon, then!” Grian wouldn't answer Tubbo’s valid question, before boating off. Tommy quickly following behind, shouting indignantly after them.

  It certainly was odd. It felt..Comforting, here. Certainly not relaxing. The opposite of cf relaxing- Tubbo had nothing but the craving to do something. But it was..Welcoming. It was strange. They hadn’t felt so- so unbothered, since..Ever, really. They liked it.

  Tubbo wondered if it could stay this way.

  Tommy wondered what the hell they were about to get themselves into.