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4doras · 3 months ago

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it will always be you

han taesan x reader

academic rivals to lovers

genre: fluff

wc: 1,455

a/n: i was in a crazy writing mood so enjoy this!! i was planning on starting the anton smau but i felt like writing. this is my first au in a WHILE… so sorry if this has any typos or grammar mistakes since i didn’t proofread it. i don’t know if i’m really happy with this because i’m weirdly scared to publish this 😭 but nevertheless, enjoy reading 💕

You had a test tomorrow and you had been practicing for it for almost 2 weeks. You looked up from your book, checking the time on your digital clock, 2:47AM, it read. Your study session spanned for much longer than you hoped for. You sighed, closing your book and putting your pens back into the case. You tucked yourself into your warm bed, as you let your eyes close themselves.

You woke up four hours later, at the ripe hour of 6AM. You quickly checked your Instagram, seeing that your rival had posted a story, you clicked on it. It was a picture of his face at 5AM, oh how sweet he looked, from the way his hair was slightly disheveled but still kept tidily, his lips, the perfect shade of pink, so soft and kissable. Only if it wasn’t for his personality, only if he treated everyone like he treated you. The way he stupidly raised his eyebrows when his name was called as the top scorer instead of yours, a small smirk arising on the sides of his flawless lips. It provoked so many emotions in you, seeing his face so early in the morning. You put your phone down, took a quick shower, put on simple jewelry, and headed out the door.

You sat down in your seat, not long after, the boy of the hour joined you, weirdly enough, sat next to you. He made his existence more clear, as if you hadn’t been thinking about him the whole morning. The universe must be telling you something.

“You good?” he asked, oddly kind for his usual remarks. He snickered, “You don’t seem like you got enough sleep from the look of it.” His signature smirk plastered on his face. “Oh shut up, I was studying, Taesan.” you rolled your eyes back, thankful he hadn’t spoken about your attitude. “Dropped the last name?” he said, looking at you through the side of his eyes. You swear you heard him say a small “cute” under his breath. The small word made you burn up, why did you feel like this? Right next to him? He started to rummage through his bag, pulling out a little bottle, an energy boost. “I got it for myself, but, seems like you’ll need it more.” he says, propping it on your desk. “Thanks, I guess…” you were confused by the backhanded comment but grateful for the small act of kindness. You opened the bottle, taking the drink like a shot and feeling the taste flow through your throat. With that, you two kept quiet as more people bustled through the door.

You finished your test with a sigh. You made sure you put your name on it, as well as flicking through the papers to make sure you wrote an answer in all the questions and passed in your test. You packed your stuff back into your bag and left, but of course, not before Taesan caught up to you. “Hey, Y/n!” he smiled sweetly, him saying your name in such a way wasn’t good for you. You waited for him, standing still as he ran towards you. “How was the test?” he asked, passing you a candy while walking. A heart shaped candy. You couldn’t get your mind off of it, you thought about it while eating dinner, showering, you couldn’t even focus on your homework because your mind was busy, creating new ideas yet scrapping them, denying the thought of him liking you with a coincidence.

Your phone got a notification from an unknown number.

this is y/n, right?

yeah, who is this?

taesan :)

oh, how’d u get my number?

mmm a little bit of sneaking

???

kiddinggg i was looking at the board and it has the numbers of students who tutor

right. i forgot they did that… did u want tutoring?

nope, just wanted to talk to u, silly

wellllll i’m gonna study a bit so ttyl?

still studying? the test is over

i still wanna study for science, i’m not super familiar with the topic :(

i could help u

u wanna?

sureeee let’s call!!!

alright, but i look a bit weird so don’t judge

i’d never, ur too pretty

…

ok sorry let’s call

You and Taesan called. Something was so comforting about calling Taesan, maybe it was the way his voice sounded, his tone was gentle, much more different than when you two were bickering at school, or the way he helped you and made sure you understood everything well, it all made you feel so at home. Or maybe it was his perfectly sculpted face in juxtaposition with the oversized hoodie he seemed to wear. “Thank you, Taesan, and sorry for keeping you so long…” “No worries, Y/n, it was nice to keep you company. Well, goodnight Y/n, sleep well, yeah?” “Mhm, you too, Taesan.” you smiled at your phone, waving at Taesan as you ended your call, you closed your eyes with ease, smiling into your pillow as you recounted the moments you had with Taesan. Whatever happened to you hating him had somehow faded away, had it turned into love?

As you got into your seat, you saw Taesan comfortably sitting next to you. “Thank you for yesterday.” you smiled. “Hey, I told you, it’s no problem.” Your routine of staying quiet as more people entered the classroom resumed.

You got your math results back, your hands covered the results and in your head, counting down, you removed your hands to see your marks. 78%. 78%? You spent so long studying for your test for not even 80%? You held back tears, excusing yourself to the toilet.

The second you got outside of the school building, you sat on the benches outside, the tears started flowing. You couldn’t believe you spent so much time and energy, staying up for nothing. You felt so upset, how could you forgive yourself? Your moment was cutoff by a voice, Taesan’s voice. “Y/n? Are you okay?” he crouched down by your legs, looking up at you. “Taesan, I did so bad. I spent so long studying on this, for not even 80%? I seriously can’t believe myself.” you sobbed into your hands, as Taesan sat next to you, holding your shoulder. You looked at him, holding the silence as he fixed pieces of your hair, tucking them behind your ears. “Y/n, it’s okay. You did the best you could, and that’s all that matters. This one test won’t discard the work you’ve put in and will put in. Please, don’t worry.” he softly swiped away the tears that streamed down your cheek. He pulled you into a warm hug, his arms wrapping around you, as you rested your cheek on his shoulder, taking in his scent.

You spent a couple minutes with Taesan, walking together so that no one would know you were crying. You re-entered your classroom and took a deep breath. You couldn’t bear spending any more time in that classroom, but you’d do it for Taesan.

After school ended, you got another notification from the unknown number, namely, Taesan. Before you answered his message, you wanted to change him contact.

wait let me change ur contact

ooh, what r u changing it to?

what do u want it to be? because i don’t know honestlyyy

can i ask u a question first?

shoot

can i be ur boyfriend? i mean, i want to at least!! also, sorry i’m asking online and not irl but i couldn’t catch u after school :(

actually? THE han taesan asking to be my boyfriend? (yes)

i thought u hated me

i thought i did too, but i realized it’s probably because i wanted to deny my feelings for u. and i haven’t been able to get u out of my mind

cute. well anyway, u should save me as “super sexy and cute boyfriend”

cute? sure. sexy? hmm

come onnnn pleaseee :)

save me as ”super smart and pretty girlfriend” then

ofc baby

BABH

BAHY

BABY

?? do u not like it

yes

wait no

i mean i love it

i love u, my super smart and pretty girlfriend

i love u, my super sexy and cute boyfriend.

The next day, you immediately went to Taesan, though he wasn't aware of your being. You gave him a small peck on the cheek and that had him turning around. "Hey, my boyfriend." you giggled with a sweet smile that made Taesan's eyes fill with love for you. "Hey, my girlfriend." he said, holding his hand out, waiting for yours to be in it.

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alovesreading · 12 days ago

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hello, i hope you’re doing as well as we all can be. i just wanted to let you know that constant repeat literally changed my life. around a year and half (?) ago i was getting really depressed, anxious, and generally unhappy with…pretty much everything that wasn’t related to alex turner in some way. i have autism and his work (+ miles’s) is my special interest, so i know i’ll reliably be able to cheer myself up just a little if i’m doing anything involving them. one night at 4am, i was trying to find literally anything to keep me occupied so i wouldn’t spiral again. i somehow managed to come across cr. i’m not kidding when i say i read everything that was up (something around 12-14 chapters iirc?) before 6am. it became the reason i woke up every day, i just had to find out what ella and alex were up to and if they’d ever figure out how chronically in love they were. i won tickets to one of the am concerts in my area shortly after that and i reread my favorite chapters to celebrate. i watched all your life updates and chapter updates and i’ve been keeping tabs on you since. i gained more reasons to wake up (ie getting engaged) but i always come back to cr. 💚💚 much love to you.

(ps, sorry for any typos or silly formatting, it’s currently 4am for me. i just wanted to send good things your way with the way things have been)

Anon, this is probably the most special ask I have ever gotten. Nearly brought me to tears.

Constant Repeat was born out of a fight against the claws of depression while stuck working on the road for almost a year. Being in the truck month after month was draining, and the only thing keeping me sane was plotting silly fics on my laptop.

One of those fics ended up being Constant Repeat. I wrote so damn much in such little time, and I thought it would be so stupid to post it but with some encouragement, I gave in.

Never in a million years did I think any of my little made up stories would make an impact on anyone, at least not beyond entertaining people for a bit.

So reading this has just made my heart grow about three sizes in my chest. I’m so proud of you anon, for how far you’ve come and all that you’ve accomplished so far. I’m sending you a billion hugs and all the love in the world. And a massive congrats to you on your engagement!!!! 🥹🥹🥹

Thank you for your support, for being here, and coming back despite the lack of new content. I hope with all my heart to be able to put out something new for Ella and Alex’s story very soon.

Know that when next chapter comes, it’ll be dedicated to you.

Again, thank you for this. Wishing I could hug you through the screen, but I hope you feel the ghost hug while reading this 🤍🤍🤍

#A’s asks #Constant Repeat asks

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novashelby · 3 months ago

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holy shit. thank you for giving us more of evie ! great part 2. i got very curious reading the comments and their perspectives on thomas and evelyn’s interactions. i can’t help but wonder when did he become that clingy with his first child? i remember reading the first chapters and he seemed like a normal dad to me . perhaps as evelyn got older he became more and more attached to her ? because it sounds like he never bonded with his other children, who are biologically his, like he did with evie

Those chapters are definitely meant to be more light hearted, fun stuff. However, I will definitely be exploring that part of their relationship further because you guys seem to enjoy it. He was always super attached. Literally from the moment he realized that he wanted to adopt her. Out of all his children, he was most present with her. But I also think because it was easy to. Charlie and Ruby had mothers who were expected to do the childcare, so he assumed the traditional role of that day.

He was Evie's sole guardian that he willingly took on. I think he forever clung to the fact she was his light after the time in France. Ruby and Charlie, in his brain, were accidents. He loves them, don't get me wrong. He absolutely does, but the emotional bond just never took. In Ruby's case, who again, he absolutely loved and was devastated about, was an accident in which he had to marry Lizzie. Which was a very unloving turbulent marriage. He was also extremely busier when Ruby came along. So there was less time to actually form that paternal bond like Evie. When Evie came, he was still living with Aunty Polly doing Birmingham stuff. He had time to attend school functions and bring her places. With Charlie, he has an old school mentality. He wants to raise him to be tough. So as he gets older, he's less hands on to build a man, essentially. There is also an emotional pain as well with Charlie because he reminds him of Grace. In regards to the clingy stuff, that really developed after Grace died because he lost trust in everyone and he just clung so deeply to Evie. He started to depend on her to do a lot of things and at the time, she was only 13-14. There were actually rumors set by opponents in the 1930s that they shared a romantic relationship. 110% not true. Tommy loves her as a daughter and it's not that type of story. But they are so close, so bonded, that family has had to set boundaries. Even Grace at points was like,...boundaries.... So, sorry I went on a rant haha and sorry for any typos. Its 6am and I am still up lol

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lighthouseborn · 7 months ago

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thinking abt mermay a little but tell me about. mer!henry

I must have opened this and immediately forgotten about it but now here it is. it's 6am and I haven't slept much and I'm on mobile so I'm sorry in advance for the inevitable typos but yes hello--

I know this is a? fairly common? au for people to have for their canon beloveds and I think that's neat but you know I don't have a mer!au? in Henry's case specifically I almost feel like it's too near his canon to... fit? and also. maybe this is why I don't really do fanfic the way other peo0le do fanfic but also. mer!au is sooooo open ended and I feel like the way people invoke it implies there is some universal mermaid world and lore that, just by going mer! implies all of the inherent like... universe rules (like how if you go 'omegav.erse!' you've invoked a specific set of physical and social standards inside of which to create this au version of the (or just? a?) story) but,,, there isn't? and. so if I invoked a mer! clause all I'd really be saying is "he's nonhuman" which is totally a fun thing for some people I'm sure but in this case. is a) wrong and b) SO adjacent to his canon already that it's feels Weird and also doesn't have a ruleset to play inside of so that means.... that I don't get it clskakdkskksjskd because like.

I dunno if this is an interesting answer btw sorry for goung "I don't and won't have one" in many many words but like. one of my whole things with aus in the fanfic style of it is that I don't .. get them a lot of the time? like. mermaid Henry would fundamentally alter him in ways that like... his story would change enough that *i* feel like he wouldn't be Henry. so I wouldn't want that, u know? and then. things like coffee shop au. I completely do not get. and its all just like. I dunno it's like, I could go read/watch something with a mermaid protagonist if I wanted a mermaid protagonist?

or maybe more like. many people have an "any au can be done" kind of vibe and I love this for them but I do not brain that way I feel like different characters suit different aus and sometimes you can pretend mess with them a little (like borrowing pac.ific ri,m concept language to go "henry and carina are drift compatible actually" even though i wouldnt ever write them in that setting because i dont feel it suits them) but other times is just like. at some points it is too different and you are writing a different, new character entirely and if I wanted to do that I would make up yet more ocs, you know? and specifically Henry is... I can't say nonmagical for obvious reasons but. he is very Human, to me. I don't think mer!henry as a concept works that would be somebody else at that point, with the way it changes fundamentals. he is not the magical thing he is near the magical things and in some ways there in spite of the magical things but in many ways because of the magical things. if any of that made sense?

you maybe be asking yourself "how does dbh work but a mermaid au doesn't" and that is. a valid question that honestly mystifies me a little bit. but I think it's because... the setting itself does demand heavy change of him, just what's around him? and there are differences I don't mean to imply 1700s henry and ,,, 20whatever, when is dbh even set oh no why don't I know that... anyway he's different across those verses, and the others I have, for sure. he's just not fundamentally altered..... if?? this is tracking??? idk maybe im just inexplicably self contradictory about aus

#im sooooooooo tired pls will my dog let me sleep #tbt.#tbd(?)

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witchyyblues · 4 years ago

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i want to say something that’s been on my mind for a long time. i know many people go through this too and i feel like it’s important to talk about it. like many, i’m always like “i want to advance further into my life!” whether it be my spiritual path or just life in general. because of that, i want it to be known that i’m always asking my spirit guides for help on things like that but i’m always dissapointed because they don’t magically come. i expect things in my life to happen without any effort from me, and i hope that this can help somebody who’s been avoiding accepting this like i have. i’ve had self motivation issues my whole life, i have never fully loved myself ever and those two things have completely shaped my life and stopped me from taking the next step in well.. literally anything. i have been frustrated because of this my whole life but even with that frustration and desperation i STILL have never made any effort to stop it. it’s a horrible cycle to live through and i’m at the point where i have decided to make a change. i have decided that i need to put effort. i always knew what the answer was to getting the things i want, to being in the places and situations i so desperately wish to be in. my guides know that i’ve always known, i’ve just been avoiding it, blocking it and so desperately trying to find another reason- maybe trying to find something that wasn’t such a difficult revelation to accept. but that’s how things are, and that’s how things have always been. admitting it takes a lot. but we all have the power to shape into the life we want to have. for some it may come easy, but for people like me it took me 17 years to finally want to put the first step and that’s okay! it doesn’t matter how old you are what matters is that you realize. that in itself is a first step and just acknowledging it is a HUGE accomplishment. this won’t come easy to me and i understand that. this will be hard, this will be a challenge and maybe i’ll feel like giving up again. i havent magically gained the motivation or self love just because i realized this. i will doubt myself here and there. that’s because it’s a process. i have never challenged myself or have wanted to struggle because i was scared. i’ve fallen yeah but i’ve never wanted to pick myself up. its okay to make mistakes it’s okay to mess up. we are human and that will happen. we have so much time and there’s no need to worry about mistakes. dont fear it just understand that we need that to happen in order to grow. its hard to find it in you to continue but it’s not impossible. i just wanted to document this to anyone else who has struggled with self confidence, self love, self motivation, anything! you are capable of anything you want. you can do this, and i believe in you. even just brushing your teeth is a big step towards self love. i’m proud of you and i know you will achieve what you want to happen. you are so powerful and you were put onto this earth for a reason. i wrote this to help others and yeah to help myself because this is like a little motivational post for me that i can read whenever i feel like quitting again. i encourage to write out how you feel, and what you wish to accomplish so whenever you feel like giving up, you can read it again. you can lift yourself back up. try try try again. you are strong. you are capable. all my love and support,

leila.

#spirituality #self love #self motivation #self confidence #motivational post #inner thoughts #spirit guides #advice #help #witchcraft #intuition #third eye #letter #long post #you can do it #teen #angels #sorry for the typos it’s 6am

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firemama · 3 years ago

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Hey, Tumblr.

Sav’s 2022 saga of misfortune has come to a spike this fabulous May with a serious car issue. What makes this so bad, Sav? well... my only source of income, at this time, is that I am a delivery driver with shipt. Hard enough with the gas crisis- 5$ a fucking gallon- in orlando traffic, you might say. You’d be right.

I’ve got no savings; most of my money was burned through during a month long period of homelessness, a couple months of not being able to work due to being generally transient and out of town and thus out of my shipt metro and unable to even deliver for income, medical bills for an injury, moving and storage costs, and some other bullshit. I’ve got no savings, and i’m pushing debt on my credit card. And at this time, with my car in need of repair, I have no source of income and another bill.

So I am asking for donations, if anyone has something to spare, however small.

Patreon Paypal Kofi

If Donations arent your speed, or you would like something in exchange, I also do commisions. Moodboards for small cost donation/commissions as low as a dollar, and I also do art and writing commissions. Hit me up to talk about commissions if you’re interested. Some basic information about that is pinned to my blog, and my other blogs.

For those who are not familiar with Sav’s 2022 saga, the summary is:

Orlando/Florida major property tax increase. See: sudden rental cost hike. 1200 to 1300 will net you poorly managed slum lord apartment in orlando now. Our previous rent of roughly 1300 (which had been steadily increasing with every re-sign of the lease) suddenly jumped up to just shy of 1800, and would continue to climb with future extensions.

Preparations to move to new york for sibling’s school; see, also very fucking expensive, because im talking New York, New york. but its sib’s grad school, scholarship, gotta go, very important.

Just before moving time, a series of... events occured. Including but not limited to:

Major fall out with roommate (one of three tenants) which would result in one less person paying rent come renewal. With just me and the sib, never could afford to stay in our current house anyway. So, no going back, no resigning lease if New york falls though.

Rather serious workplace injury to my dominant hand. At the time, thought, oh kind of serious- a deep injury to the knuckle joint that... i probably should have taken in to get stitches, but.. didnt, and instead just bandaged it up. “I cant afford medical bills right now” i said, unaware of a big storm coming.

My work, a few months prior to this, had every single Senior Manager quit in the span of a couple weeks for the entire franchise. This was a warning sign. At this point in time, it is much worse. For starters, I had been demoted from Manager to Assistant Manager and then to Associate again... because my Migraines had become worse (from stress because COVID and the mail system and all the mangers left and xyz) and i could not keep the minimum 50, then 40 hours. Despite being demoted, and less pay, I was responsible for neigh all the managment responsibilities at my location because there was no one else. For 11$ an hour. And then all the other less-senior managers from other locations also quit, because no one was making more than the average Mcdonalds employee. Very bad, all around.

I had to submit my resignation anyway, because we had an out-of-state move coming. And I was already being paid less, and expecting to take on the work of more than one salaried job. But before I submitted my resignation?

(Tw, injury)After two-three weeks of excruciating pain despite the visible damage to my finger being healed, and no increase of motor function, and also a strange mishape to my finger. I finally filed for workers comp, belatedly, and went on down to an urgent care. The deep injury, if you’re curious, had been caused by a tape gun; specifically, a customer trying to grab the tapefun from my hands anddesimating my hand, most expressly my poor fucking finger joint. And upon xray at the urgent care, they found a metal tooth from the tape gun in my finger. more specifically in my finger joint. quite literally grinding against my bone. doing serious damage to my joint. (I am now legally allowed to complain about pain and no one is allowed to tell me im complaining too much. broken off sharp metal tooth in my finger for nearly three weeks.

Surgery, obviously, to remove the sharp foreign body from my hand. It was a very quick surgery, actually. But to the point, my workers comp covered most of the injury. Most. Not all. expensive, like I thought, and i definitely couldnt afford it. but necessary.

And then we found out the ‘scholarship’ covered less than a 16th of the overall tuition to the gradschool in new york despite it’s title of ‘full ride scholarship’.

New york fell through, and we would not be able to keep our then-current lease.

so now we have less than two weeks to find a new place. And all of our research and propsects were in another state we cold not afford to live. we had no time, and due o afformentioned text increases, out prior 1200... just does not exist. not for sale anywhere. If it does, we ‘technically’ make too much to afford it, because our combined annual income if I ‘pretend’ to still work at UPS is too high for rent control. (the irony is that we could barely afford 1200-1300 and yet somehow rent control says we make too much money for it). If I say I do not work for ups, which I dont, because i quit... well we dont meet minimum income.

Mostly, we’re screwed!

4 days before must-be-out-of-house, we find one option. 1200$ 2 bedroom that will allow our two cats. We do a fast walkthrough, because we dont have any options anyway. Place has infestations twofold, the maintenance guy is trying to fix 12 different holes in the walls, and we cant test the power or water because it isnt on yet and we cant really wait. Front door locks, has AC, theres an on-site laundry facility, has working fridge, sold. We mostly only interact with property manager, who I did like quite a lot, and he assured us he will help fix the issues and can get the place ready by our frantic date.

I move into apartment with all of our stuff. We rapidly find several, several issues. No smoke detectors, window (ground floor) with no lock and two that can’t even close all the way. Both of those things, some of you may know... are illegal. It was not the only illegal aspects, such as one room being incredibly unventalated, most of the lights not working with no other light sources, occasional plume of smoke from the fuse box, and (this is in florida) no netting on the windows. Things that are not included in the ‘illegal’ list but still very much problems: hidden mold (did you KNOW it’s not illegal for landlords to rent a property with mold?), and other fucking stupid shit. The real show stopper, however, was that the apartment’s payment portal malfunctioned. We paid them the deposit the rent, everything... and it paid it back to my sibs account.

This is when we meet the actual landlord. Who is insane. She is incapable of texting legibly, and is almost incomprehensible over the phone. She does not know the landlord laws- which is her only job as a landlord- which she showed by telling us it’s our responsibility to provide smoke detectors, for example. (no, that’s illegal). She tries to back up this claim by saying it is stated in the lease we will provide the smoke detectors. Which proves she cannot fucking read a lease, either, because it does not say that in the lease, it says we are obligated to provide batteries for pre existing smoke detectors, and even if she had written that into the lease... it would still be illegal. it breaks housing codes. like a lot of other shit. Her excuse to all these issues was “well this isnt luxury housing.” Our windows not locking and you meeting builing code, lady, is not luxury, it’s minimum.

This whole thing is summed up with her ignoring all these issues and demanding we pay her. I tell her we did, because we did, but the portal doesnt work. She says that isnt her responsiblity, pay her again and make it work. I am speechless. It does not matter if im speechless, of course, because she never lets you get a word in edgewise and will simply talk over you, but anyway.

Obviously, only option or not, we cant fucking stay in this apartment. Legally, we cannot, and if we play along despite that, we wave our rights. And im sure if we give her money, she will try to keep that fucking despoit and declare our rent non refundable or some shit. So we declare that she broke our lease (illegally) and that we’re going to leave as soon as possible. She threatens to call the police because we’re scamming her- as if we get anything out of this. could kill her and feel no remorse. she gave me a crazy stress migraine that was not relieved by excessive stress panic attack or crying.

We break the lease. With nowhere to live, we put all our shit in storage. more costs we cant afford. Insues a month of having no home. I go out of town for a while and bum a guest bedroom. Sib stays with partner.

We spend most of that month looking for somewhere to live. I burn through savings with no source of income- cant deliver outside of my Metro zone for shipt, and other issues with delivery, and I wont be in one place long enough to apply to work anywhere. Spend money on storage, on moving trucks getting shit back and forth, on ‘non-refundable application fees’ and on medication for the cat, and on follow up appointments and medication and treatment for my fucking hand.

some fucking asshole backs into my car on easter sunday. Not once- no, he backed into my car and then paused. surprised he is no longer backing up. tries to back up again, continuing to back into my car he is already hitting. pulls forward a little. backs up again. slightly louder crunch and this time he realizes what he’s done. Mind you i am on the fucking sidewalk less than 6 feet away from my car, walking to it, about to get into it. He looks me dead in the face and tries to leave the scene despite me trying to flag him down. Only stops because someone stepped out into the road in front of his fucking truck to stop him. Is drunk. fights insurance trading like hell. Takes about an hour to get it from him on threat of the cops.

ensues, while without home, an exausting insurance battle. drunk guy tries to claim the damage was prexisting. I have witnesses, and I also have a fucking picture of the back of his truck with pieces of my car stuck in his bumper. Eventually he gives up, and I spend stupid amount of time conversing with car insurance. My car is old. and it is also a saturn, which is a company that no longer exists. It is also not technically one saturn, but two saturns franken-steined together with different parts of two older saturns. Obviously, despite the damage being cosmetic, they want to declare my car totaled. not-drivable. Obvious unacceptable, nd even if i did, the value on my car is shotty and i’ll get nothing from them for it. dribble car is much more valauble. but because it’s cosmetic damage, on an old ass already costmetically ugly car... basically zip on pay out. not even enough to get the specific cosmetic damage fixed.

Hardly fucking matters, because the check... is now being held by the bank. When will i be allowed to have it? they dont know yet.

Technically, my fucking car isn’t okay to be driven yet. I have to wait on a new title to be delivered, take it to a dmv to be inspected and declared drivable, hope to god it passes, and then pay them for all this shit. The check, if i ever get it, will probably fucking pay for that. *thank god for insurance.* so glad i pay them for this. I will have a car that is not repaired and no money to repair it with. fuck. At least it’s mostly cosmetic, except for my slightly warped gas tank hatch that is now a struggle to get open.

We find an apartment. This is great. We have a place to live.

This means more moving fees.

so we’re back in orlando. I have no savings left. I have a bit of credit card debt I cant pay off, and we still need some essential shit to buy for this place. but hey, we’re not homeless. Place isnt perfect yet- has rats, might have roaches, neighbors are wild and loud, pretty sure theres an active drug dealer based on the weird activity in the parking lot at all hours day and night.

but we’re not homeless. and im back in my metro, so i can deliver, so I have a source of income again. Everything will be fine.

Check is still being withheld. car is still technically not supposed to be drivable. this is fine. I will make enough money to survive this month, wrack up a little bit more debt on the essentials we need, but thisll be fine for a month or two until better work... good thing i can still deliver.

Lived here for a week. Sibling’s car breaks down and needs repairs. uh oh!

The day we get my sibling’s car back from the mechanic’s? today? today? Obviously, my car breaks down. Obviously. fuck.

There’s more. This is a mostly abridged highlight. Other details- such as the fact that I had to borrow money from someone to get even this far, and my very old cat needing a vet visit that i just cant fucking afford yet- are all involved. My hand still has poor mobility- yesterday someone commented “I thought you were right handed” because they noticed i dont use it to do things like pop the fucking water pressure cap off my car engine to refill it’s leaky collant tank. Our current fridge may or may not be cool enough to store dairy in, we arent sure yet. we still need to buy a fucking dryer, we dont have a means to wash/dry clothes yet, and I dont own a lot of clothing so I’ve been stretching one outfit over a week.

Look, 2022 is fucking killing me. At this point I need roughly 6000$ to magically make it out of may without debts in three different places. Obvious not feasible, and it would still put me out roughly nuetral with no money. So... whatever I can get. Preferable enough to get the fucking car fixed so i have income. And then hopefully rent so we don't end up homeless again and with an eviction on our record.

If you read all this, please. Even if you dont wanna donate for nothing in return, it’s literally only a dollar to commission a cute little mood board.

#munchatter #donations #I am once again asking you...#eh that meme u know it #I think im going to have a mental breakdown #real soon #sorry if this has typos its 6am and I made this because im so stressed i cant fucking sleep

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radioactivebowtie · 2 years ago

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Fireworks and Fireflies

This is a little gift to Delaney and me because the world has been really fucking rough lately <3 We both need to feel better and It was just a little inspired by a convo we had, even if I am just a little scared of fireworks in real life.

@sin-sidejob I LOVE YOU WE DESERVE THE GOOD FEELINGS!! <3

Warnings: Uh,,, literally nothing actually? This is just some nice domestic fluff

Delaney was smiling, the air was warm, and the sky was filled with the soft light of the fireflies and the light sound of cricket chirps. But what was more was the sound of laughter, the nice feeling of grass under her feet, watching from her spot on the edge of the deck as Finn pulled Andre around the yard, watching him stumble behind them with laughs of his own as the two of them jumped with clasped hands trying to catch the little lightning bugs. It was almost enough to distract her from the noise of the door opening behind her... Almost.

Her head turned, meeting JR’s smile, it was wide even though it seemed just a small bit nervous. This had been her idea after all! Something she had been used to doing in her childhood, and it was something weirdly enough that Delaney had learned wasn’t something either JR or Finn had done despite the very large space they had to do it. Luckily though, JR was a sucker for her and anything he could to make her happy. So on he walked, the boxes on boxes of… honestly probably very illegal fireworks on the dark wooden table with a smile. He was absolutely beaming at her.

“Are you doing okay over there handsome?”

She stuck her tongue out as she watched him fiddle with the colorful boxes, normally something like this would probably have caused him to send an eye roll her way. But the look he gave her was nothing short of genuine love, something about her was just too adorable to him, he couldn’t help it! Even if he was mindlessly fiddling with countless explosives that may or may not have been recalled or deemed illegal.

He sighed from his spot near the table, hands moving from fiddling with packaging to the rolled-up sleeves on his white button-up. She hummed, her eyes basically fixated on his arms with an appreciative hum. He chuckled just a little bit under his breath, a small smile gracing his face.

“As good as I can be sweetheart-” There was a small pause as JR looked out onto the yard, his smile just a little wider as he watched Finn scream in joy further into the yard jumping around and clapping, they watched as he opened his palms and a little lightning bug flew to join the rest in the sky. It was so calm and yet so exciting. Something about how long it had been since the last time this had all happened had her bouncing her leg in anticipation.

“God we don’t come out here enough-”

Delaney snorted a little, her hand covering her mouth as she continued to laugh. “Yeah? And who’s fault is that?”

This time he did roll his eyes, he sat down in one of the chairs. “You think they’ll like them?”

JR looked back at Finn for a moment thinking, he looked back at Delaney with a shrug of his shoulders. “They’ll like the colors for sure, I know that much? The noise won’t be such an issue hopefully.”

Delaney sighed, she gave a much smaller wave as Finn smiled wide their hand waving rapidly at the two of them from their spot halfway down the yard. Andre waved to them as well, albeit not as excitedly as Finn! But that didn’t matter, his wave was cut off as Finn grabbed his free hand and took off in a full-on sprint towards them dragging him behind them. She snickered watching Andre stumble trying to keep up with the speed and energy that Finn was giving at the moment. They let go to jump onto the deck and hug JR, side-eyeing the fireworks immediately. He chuckled a little as he hugged back, “Got all the ones Delaney asked, one special for you though-”

Finn’s eyes lit up as they jumped to the side, scanning the table of brands they had never even heard of before. But their eyes lit up when they saw the one.

“YOU GOT ME A PURPLE ONE!?!” Finn had their face shoved in front of the box, reading over every line of text. “Do I get to light it? Please say yes please say yes, pleasesayyes-”

The three people gathered around them snickered, JR had hauled himself up next to them. “If you want to, and as long as you’re careful-”

Delaney smiled “I’ll help you out cuttlefish don’t worry.”

Finn breathed out a small ‘sick’ as they sat the package down on the table where it began - They turned back to the yard with stars in their eyes “I fucking love summer-”

Andre snickered, “Your favorite season is fall?”

They shoved a hand near his face without even looking over “Not anymore-”

He let out a chuckle as they fell back into the chair. He climbed onto the deck after them with a bright smile, sitting next to them on the chair, hand running along their back as they continued lightly bouncing.

“I can’t believe we’ve never done this before, it feels like- like something we should have done before.”

JR chuckled a little ruffling up their hair before Delaney spoke up, “It’s right up your alley! It’s like mini arson-” Andre snorted a little bit but not even close to meeting the deafening laughter that was coming from Finn as JR shook his head just a little bit waving a hand at Delaney as if she was wrong. Even though she was not, and they all knew that.

The darkness had cloaked over the expansive yard, only lit by decorative lights that lined the edge of the porches and sides of the house. Soon to be lit by the wonder of pyrotechnics, specially picked out just for their viewing.

It had begun now, Delaney teaching the two of them how to safely light the fireworks and move out of the way just in case. It was honestly peaceful and joy-filled, contrasting with Finn's loud screams and cheers as they jumped on the grass dancing with Andre under the fireworks lighting up the sky. The night was great, the booming noise, the laughter, and especially the screams.

Delaney laughed as she lit her own firework, Finn falling back onto their ass with a scream in complete surprise.

It had calmed down a little bit now, JR and Delaney were still Slowly lighting off their own, the tinier ones still shining back into his dark eyes. She watched him look at the sky in awe, her hand gripping his.

“Y’know I don’t think we even did this as kids.”

She turned to look at him, “No? I think it was normal for us, summer was filled with nights like these.”

He hummed back to her, his eyes drifting from hers to the concrete area beside the porch where Finn was throwing poppers, currently chasing Andre with a handful of them laughing out threats as he dodged the ones that hit the ground.

“I think we should have done it sooner honestly, I would have given anything to have more of these moments with them.”

Delaney looked over at him, he was looking at their kid with so much love, they all looked so happy. He turned to face her again when he felt her hand place itself gently over his. He looks over, his eyes meeting hers. His expression is filled with love and peace, a contentedness filling his gaze. So at peace.

It was a good evening. The loud laughter of a family finally at peace, fireworks lighting up the night sky. Peaceful even if just for the night.

#Domestic JR is what we all need #And honestly we love a good lovey dovey Andre moment #Also I do hope Delaney likes this <3 #I wish I liked fireworks more #They are very pretty #I had a lot of fun with this too... it took three days #It's also 6am and this probably isn't perfect honestly #If there are typos- I am sorry #JR Scheimpough #Delaney #Andre Lee #Finn #Inside job sona #Inside jobsona #Inside Job oc #I WANT SUMMER TO LAST FOREVER BUT I HAVE COLLEGE SOON :(#The Scheimpough House🍦☕️

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fencep0st · 3 years ago

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so fucking glad there’s actually a following of sorts for the dear hunter on tumblr anyway did y’all see the shit they ( i think casey? can’t remember who it was exactly but i bet it was him) were posting on reddit about a sandwich shop parody of the acts i thought i was going insane

#the dear hunter #if there's typos in this i'm sorry i havent slept its like 6am #anyway can u ebelieve there might be people out there that r mentally like #fine n they listen to tdh #insane. /lh of course

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miyaniacs · 4 years ago

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Ok so it’s my baby’s birthday soooo

@kageyamasbraincell HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ can’t wait to see you in a month ( fml it’s still a month ).

I love you sooo much. My special bokutobitch-bean™️, my TRIPLE 🅱️

I clearly lost any track and time on who’s your boo rn so I took Osamu ☀️ (I mean you’re simping for everyone either way)

Birthday mornings with Osamu

You wake up by something warm and fluffy on your face. Opening your eyes you're greeted with the bright blue ones of your cat. “MIAUUUU” your cat Simba yells in your face. “Good morning to you too.” You groan and turn to the side to cuddle up to your boyfriend - but your face is met with the mattress. Well...he’s probably just in the bathroom and be back in a few minutes. About 10 minutes later he’s still not back, so you get up and start looking for him. Bathroom - no Osamu. Living-room - no Osamu. Kitchen - no Osa- you stop in your tracks as you see how messed up your kitchen is. There’s flour everywhere. You sigh and turn around to go back to bed when you see Simba on the kitchen table destroying the ribbons of two presents laying there. You’re about to put Simba in your arms as you hear the front door opening. The footsteps get closer to the kitchen and you hear some mumbling. You turn around, jut to be greeted by the sight of your boyfriend with a big paper bag in his arm, the keys in his hand and a big colourful bouquet in his other hand. His eyes wide open when he sees you standing there. “No. Go back to bed. You’re not supposed to be here.” He panics. He sets down the bag and the flowers and shoves you out of the room and back to your bed. “I - Osamu - “ you begin confused as fuck on what is happening right now. “No. stay here until I come to get you baby!” and he closes the door. You sigh and fall back in the bed.

Again you feel something on your face and you open your eyes again. Now you're met with the beautiful eyes of Osamu. He smiles down at you “Happy Birthday love.” he smiles and his thumb stokes over your cheek, while he leans downing kissing you gently. “Can I now go into the kitchen?” you ask and rub the sleep out of your eyes. “Yes sure - Sorry for that.” he awkwardly scratches his neck. He takes your hand in his and leads you to the kitchen. He stops to put his hands over your eyes, before you can enter the kitchen. “Osamuuu” you try to act annoyed but fail and start to laugh. “No. No complaining. Now take a step - good - and another... and the last one.” he puts his hands off your eyes and you look around the - now perfectly clean- kitchen. On the table next to the presets is the bouquet, Simba sitting next to it. There’re two sets of plates and cups. The cups already filled with Coffee and orange juice. On a plate in the middle of the table are tones of waffles. Osamu walks over to the fridge, while you walk over to the table. You hear the fridge close and turn around just to be met with a brightly smiling Osamu. His eyes sparkle as he holds out the cake he made for you. “Tadaaa” he smiles proudly. You look at him with big eyes “Can you put down the cake?” he does as you ask and the second he turns back to you, you jump in his arms and wrap yourself around him. He laughs and wraps is arms around you, holding you close. You nuzzle your head in his neck and mumble “thank you’s”. He puts you down and grabs your face is his hands, “No need to thank me baby and again H-A-P-P-Y-B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y.” with every letter he places kisses all over your face, finally kissing your lips after the Y, pulling you into a hug again afterwards. “I’m so happy to have you in my life.” He mumbles into your hair. Osamu pulls away and kisses your forehead. “Let’s eat now, before the waffles get cold.”

#ahahahha accidentally deleted it while correcting a typo #its 6am here so sorry ahahha #my brain is still not really functioning #still happy birthday bby #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #osamu x reader #osamu headcanons #osamu scenario #hq headcanons

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lesbianlenas · 5 years ago

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have thots abt this episode. will share tomorrow. gdoowntivbt ❤️

#michelle speaks #my ehes are clised sorry if theres a lit if typos sin this i’n so tired it’s unrela #got 3 hrs kf sleep last night & have been awake dinxe 6am i’m hoing to pass out heye

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twisted-wonderland-but-gayer · 3 years ago

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Same motorcycle Yuu person from before, I am so sorry for the typos from before.

I was on my motorcycle all day and had very few breaks so, I was trying to hurry up typing. ^^''

But, motorcycle Yuu who is in a biker club(like me) and does poker runs to support things, charities, sa help centers, supporting helpful things and making the economy better. ^^

Except they get up at 6am and leave for the ride a bit, and doesn't get back until 6pm. They look dead, and as soon as they step into the dorm area or living room, they start to take off the 5 layers they have to wear to stay warm.

-Motorcycle guy

Consider a small side car for Grim. He even has a leather suit and helmet...

Alternatively this...

#not writing #not requests

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tomtenadia · 3 years ago

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A Little Braver - 25

Helloooo world.

I had the week from hell so far, but tonight i felt a bit more energetic and I had the time to have a look at ch 25 and have it ready for publication.

But if you see any typos or errors, I am sorry I am still on the exhausted side.

So, we have Elorcan to open the dances, because those two are cute.

Aelin and Rowan share a deep moment and Rowan finally closes a chapter of his life.

A bit of angst that affects Aelin more than she expected and get ready for the hint of a crazy snowstom that will happen in ch 26.

Lorcan woke up all of a sudden and when he noticed the time on the clock he cursed his military training causing him to have a natural alarm at the crack of dawn. He tried to move but realised he was blocked by a female presence sprawled on him. Her dark hair all over his chest tickling him with a sweet scent invading his nostrils.

He was getting used to that presence at his side making his miserable life better with each passing day.

He felt his lips tug up in a small smile, something that he had been doing more and more lately thanks to the woman in his arms.

Rowan and the others joked but he was starting to realise that Elide really was doing a miracle on him and in he was willing to secretly admit that he was actually enjoying the end result.

Elide had been exhausted after her shift so he had offered her a lift and they had gone to his place claiming that it was the better option since it was closer. He had stayed with her all day at the firehouse and offered to cook for everyone. The day had been brutal and he was glad she could finally have a day off.

With his hand he gently stroked her hair. He was never one for love gestures like caresses, but Elide had been changing his mind about that too. He would not admit it to a single soul but he also had started to enjoy cuddling. Lorcan still believe in his stone-cold attitude with other people but for Elide he was happy to drop the mask.

Slowly and carefully he disentangled himself trying very hard not to wake her up and shifted his legs off the bed, only to remember he was naked.

Something else he had discovered since having started to date Elide was the joy to have sex for a person he cared for. With Elide it meant something from the beginning especially when she was still scared. He had allowed time to get to terms with the idea and they had taken it day by day allowing Elide to take charge and let her dictate the pace. Slowly, with time Elide has started to become more curious and he showed her. That had in the end been something new for Lorcan too. In his life he had a long list of partners and then a spell with Essar which was just pure sex. Never with feelings involved. Because of one thing he was certain, what he had confessed to Rowan was getting truer each day. He was positive what he felt was love for Elide. He was doomed. Utterly lost.

He got off the bed, wore his boxers and walked to the kitchen taking his phone with him. Finally Lorcan got off the bed and walked out of the room closing the door behind him not to risk wake up Elide and phoned Rowan, knowing that the man was an early riser like him.

“What?” A very grumpy Rowan answered the phone.

“Are you still sleeping?”

“Yes, you idiot. It’s 6am.” He said quietly.

“Why are you whispering?”

“Because Aelin is still sleeping.”

Lorcan started pacing the kitchen “remember when I told you I thought I was in love with Elide?”

“Yes,” growled Rowan on the other side.

“Well, I am now positive. I am in love with her.” Panic thick in his voice “What do I do?”

“Deal with it like all of us.”

“Damn it, Whitethorn I have no fucking clue what to do.”

“Tell her.”

Lorcan froze in his steps.

“Practice with me, Elide I love you.”

“I don’t think I can.” He went back pacing, running a hand through his hair.

The reply took a bit longer to arrive.

“Salvaterre, grow a pair and tell her. And don’t fucking call at 6am ever again.”

Aelin had answered and then hung up on him.

He placed the phone on the counter and went back trying to make breakfast. Maybe Rowan was right, he should just tell her, but he was terrified of messing this up. Worried that she might not feel the same way. He was not an easy man to love.

He turned to make some coffee when he felt a pair of hands on his waist and a gentle kiss on his back and a groan left him because he had woken her up and Elide deserved some rest.

“Why are you up at this ungodly hour?”

He turned and smiled at seeing Elide in his shirt which on her was gigantic reaching her knees.

“Sorry,” he kissed her head tenderly. “Go back to bed.” With his hand he gently pushed her away.

Elide instead buried her face in his chest “you come too.”

He abandoned the coffee and followed her back.

Once they were again under the blankets he pulled her to him and gathered all of his courage. It was the perfect timing. He was an airforce pilot. He had seen combat. He could surely talk to Elide and tell her about his feelings.

“Eli, can we talk?”

“Uh oh…” she said, looking up to him “you are bailing on me.”

“I am not.” He took her hand and played with her fingers gathering time to think. “Are you okay with me? As in happy?”

She gave him the most beautiful smile that reminded why he was in love with her “you can be grumpy, but yes, I am happy with you.”

He nodded “neither of us have ever done this before so I am going to improvise.” He hadn’t been that nervous in a very long time “I…” he took a deep breath “please don’t be scared by what I am about to say.”

Elide pulled back from him staring at his weird expression.

“I love you.” He had said it. He had doomed himself.

Elide moved closer and kissed him deeply and he thought that surely was a good response.

“I do too.” She caressed his head “I know we haven’t been going out for a long time but yeah I have these strong feelings for you.” She kissed him again “and I love that I feel safe with you.” She chuckled “having a giant of a boyfriend helps.”

Lorcan’s mind locked on the word boyfriend. That was something else they hadn’t discussed yet. They had been dating but no labels. But he had to admit he liked the sound of it.

He grabbed her and pulled her half on top of him “so, I am your boyfriend?”

“Yes sir, and I am Commodore Lochan now.”

Lorcan laughed “considering how bossy you are, you can be the CO in the relationship.”

Elide straddled him and he realised that under the shirt she was still naked “Good. Now shut up and kiss me soldier, it’s an order from your superior.”

Lorcan pulled her down and, like a good soldier, kissed her. Deeply, showing her just how much he loved her.

***

Aelin and Rowan had fallen back asleep when Aelin’s phone buzzed on her nightstand.

“What now?” Aelin groaned, turning and slamming the phone with her hand “what the fuck is going on this morning?”

Rowan growled and pulled her to him hating the loss of contact with her body.

Aelin grabbed the phone and saw the text from Elide “good, your boss has told Elide he loves her. They are officially together.”

Rowan muttered something and Aelin smiled at his face smashed in the pillow, his eyes still shut and his hair, which was getting longer, was all messy. She took a picture of him. She loved watching his sleepy face. The hard lines of his face disappeared and his features relaxed. She scooted closer and his arms folded around her as of on instinct and buried her face in the crook of his neck then angled her face and kissed his cheek and felt a hint of stubble. Now that he was during his time off he was far more relaxed and he hadn’t bothered shaving. She admitted she kinda liked it. Aelin brushed his hair, enjoying a side of him that no one knew about.

She heard him moan gently at the touch. In the morning it was when he loved to cuddle the most. He liked contact with her any time of the day but the mornings were his weakness. He cracked open one eye and groaned again squeezing Aelin against him. Skin touching skin. Clothes in bed had become very quickly an annoying accessory and Aelin adored snuggling against him and wake up with the contact of his warmth against her.

“You are so needy in the morning.” He nodded energetically and Aelin kissed his lips.

She felt his hands sneak down her back cupping her buttocks “come on buzzard, we can have breakfast and then we can go and do grampa things and go to the theatre later.” In response he held her tighter and Aelin smiled at this interesting side of him. She had a feeling the six months apart had made him crave even more contact with her. Not that she complained. She loved it.

She disentangled herself from him among his protests, got off the bed and reluctantly she wore her house clothes.

Rowan sat up slowly, his face still sleepy “what’s wrong with you this morning?”

“Blame Lorcan, he woke us up at the crack of dawn.”

He collapsed back on the bed, staring at the ceiling “I am going to kill him.” He groaned and then extended his arms to grab her “come back in bed.”

Aelin instead pulled his arm “food.”

“I am pretty sure you can make toast without me.”

She dropped his arm and stormed to the kitchen almost annoyed.

Rowan huffed loudly, threw his legs off the bed and sat down, grabbing his boxers. Once he was dressed he stood and joined Aelin. He reached her side and bumped her hips with his pushing her away “you are dangerous even when you toast bread.”

She gave him a very rude gesture and sat on the counter but instead of making toast, Rowan started making pancakes “and don’t say I am not nice to you.”

Aelin scoffed and folded her arms at her chest “sure, if you are in the mood.”

Rowan gasped and pinched her side “you little devil.” Then went back to cooking “I was thinking that we could go to my place and get my stuff. I have a lot of kitchen things that we can still use and I can move the last of my stuff here. If you are still up to the idea.” He suggested quietly wondering if it had been a spur of the moment suggestion after he had come back.

“Getting cold feet, captain?” She smirked “you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Rowan switched off the hob and moved to her “But I want to. My mind hasn’t changed from two days ago. I do want to move in with you. Officially.”

Her arms went around his neck “then let’s make this moving in day. We can go to the theatre tonight.”

“Are you sure?”

Aelin nodded “today is when it officially starts. Our life together. This will become house Whitethorn-Galathynius.”

Rowan’s heart started racing madly in his chest at the weight of her words. She was asking him to commit to her, to them. And although some of his fears still gripped his soul from time to time, he realised that, being with her, was all that actually mattered. He stepped closer to her “I am yours,” he had so many more things he wanted to say to her but that’s all he could muster. Her hand ran through his hair and the smile she gave him almost brought him to his knees “I am yours and you are mine.” She said softly against his lips.

“I am yours and you are mine.” He repeated.

Then her mouth moved to his neck and closer to his ear “now get a move on and finish those pancakes.”

Rowan laughed and pulled away “how did I end up with such a bossy woman at my side?”

She dunked her finger in the pancake mixture and smeared his nose with it “because you love a woman who likes to be on top and take charge.”

He cleaned his nose with a towel “you are a terror.”

It was an hour later when they arrived at his flat. It was the first time for Aelin and she was curious to see how he lived. He was very neat and tidy and super organised while she was the tornado. He would fold his clothes and put them away, she would throw them on a chair. In that aspect they were two complete opposites.

They stepped in and the flat was cold.

“Sorry, I haven’t been here in a while.” And went to turn the heating on.

The living room was simple with a bookshelf with a few books, a tv on a table, a sofa and a coffee table. There were no photos in the house and Aelin wondered if that was the house he had shared with Lyria.

“I never bothered much decorating.” He added when he noticed her expression “I moved out of the house I had with Lyria after I came back from deployment. I donated all of her stuff and got out of that place. I just couldn’t.” She saw the sadness in his eyes. No matter how horrible the woman had been she could see that he had loved her. “This has always been a place where to crash at night. It never felt like home.”

She brushed his hair “we now have our home.”

He nodded and kissed her then pulled away in case the kiss led to more. He had no intention of having sex with her in that flat.

“I have boxes,” he said “I’ll do the kitchen, could you please start with the living room?”

She grabbed some of the boxes he had pointed at and moved to the bookcase. That was a fun task at least, although he did not have many books.

“Almost all of your books are about flying.” She commented while browsing some of the titles with interest.

“I tend to have fiction on my e-reader. I can’t take physical books on a mission so my e-reader is my best buddy. I have hundreds of books in there.”

Slowly and methodically she emptied the bookcase and packed away his books. Once at the bottom shelf she noticed an hidden photo album at the back of the books.

She opened it and “Oh.” Surprise hit her when Aelin discovered it was a wedding album. Rowan and Lyria’s wedding album.

With a hint of curiosity she flipped through the pages and noticed that Lyria had been lovely. All that Aelin remembered of the woman was the bloodied and battered victim at the scene of an accident. Lyria was petite and graceful. She looked stunning in her wedding dress, then looked at Rowan in his dress mess uniform and her heart sank. He was gorgeous and much younger. He seemed happy.

She was so engrossed in the photos she did not notice him arriving at her side.

“Where did you find that?” He asked almost annoyed at her.

Aelin lifted her gaze and met his hurt stare “I was boxing the books. It was at the back, hidden.”

“I could not get rid of it,” he said, sitting at her side and grabbing the album “that’s why I hid it.

“This is not something you bin.” She whispered. She had stashed all of Sam’s photos in a box full of memories about their life together. A box that was carefully hidden in the small attic her house had.

“We were happy in those photos, or so I want to believe.” He was silent for a while “I proposed before I left for a mission and promised we would get married upon my return. Once I was back Lyria had the wedding organised in a month.” He sighed, closing the book “soon after she started being unwell and we discovered she was pregnant. I should have known.” Aelin took his hand to offer silent comfort “it happened too soon to be mine, but I was so happy at the idea of becoming a dad that I ignored everything.” He stood and walked back to the kitchen and kept packing his stuff.

Aelin placed the photo album in the box and kept packing.

Once Aelin was done with the few belongings in his living room she joined him in the kitchen and noticed his full boxes “you really have loads of stuff for cooking.”

In response he gave her a wide grin, the sadness of a moment before completely gone “I was going to get us new stuff for our place but then I realised my stuff here is still in great condition so there is no need to waste money.”

Aelin raised her hands “you are the one doing the cooking. As long as you are fine…” She moved at his side and stared at him packing “can I do the bedroom or you don’t want me snooping?”

“Go on. Most of my clothes are already at our place. There’s not much there.”

She waltzed to his room and noticed it was even emptier than the living room. She opened the closet and found very few items in there. She folded the clothes and placed them in the bag and then moved to the nightstands and opened the drawers and took out the few items inside. In one of the drawers she found a box at the very bottom, hidden in the corner. She had a look and found out it was wedding rings. Hear heart ached. She had stashed away her engagement ring in her box of memories in the attic. A few times she had thought about selling it but never had the courage to do it. That ring was a promise she made to Sam and she would leave it with all the other pieces of a life that was probably never meant to be.

Aelin placed the tiny box in the one used for packing. Just like the wedding photos it was something that could be hidden away but never binned. No matter the hate. He had been married. Before they met they both had loved other people and that was a part of their lives that could not just be thrown away. It was part of who they were.

She finished packing the room and joined Rowan still in the kitchen finishing up the last few things.

“I think that’s us.”

They did one final walkthrough and made sure they took everythin. Aelin helped Rowan load the boxes in his car and then he walked back to lock the door behind him but not before giving one last look at the place, ready to close that chapter of his life forever.

Once back in the car he took his place at the wheel and Aelin placed her hand on his knee “are you okay?” noticing his strange stare.

Rowan nodded shifting the gear into drive “I feel as if I finally closed a painful and chaotic chapter of my life and I somehow feel relieved.”

She kissed his temple “now it’s time for our chapter.” Then she giggled “just make sure there is a lot of smut.”

Rowan burst out laughing “no pressure, then?”

They got back to their house and dumped the boxes in the spare room except for the kitchen one. Rowan unpacked it and confessed he was looking forward cooking in an adult kitchen.

“Look at you. I am going to dress up like a frying pan maybe you will find me hot.”

Rowan stood and walked to her and pulled Aelin to him “I always find you hot.” His mouth close to her ear, his hand sneaking up her t-shirt, while the other one found its way in her shorts, pushing her closer to him, making her feel just how much he found her attractive.

Aelin kissed him fiercely and pushed him toward the counter “I want you naked, captain.”

Rowan pulled back and tugged off his t-shirt and his shorts, standing naked in front of her. “Your turn now.” Aelin removed her clothes and stopped in front of him “what are you going to do now?” She placed a hand on his chest and he grabbed her, lifting Aelin on the kitchen island. She lay on her back and locked her legs behind him, pulling him closer. Rowan bent over and kissed her belly “what about we started writing that smut chapter?” He added against her skin, then slowly moving down between her legs. Aelin moaned and her back arched “write away, captain…”

Aelin arrived at the fire station the next morning with a big smile on her face. She walked to the ambulance and climbed in when she noticed Lysandra in there working. She jumped on the gurney “Can I ask you something?”

“Go,” she said while storing away some medicines.

Aelin took a deep breath “when did you know that Aedion was the one?”

Lysandra stopped and turned “did something happen between you and the captain?”

“We officially moved in together. We went to get all his stuff from his flat.” She explained “we might have said things.”

“As in? Did you guys fight?”

Aelin shook her head remembering how they spent the rest of the afternoon before heading for the theatre.

“I don’t have an exact moment of when I realised Aedion was the man. All of a sudden I wanted him at my side forever. I just realised that he was the one.”

“I think the relationship with Rowan shifted.”

“Bad or good shift?” Lysandra abandoned her box of supplies and went into full gossip mode.

“Good. I think things between us just got serious.”

Lysandra smiled at her friend “and you are okay with it? Are you fine?”

Aelin nodded “Yes,” she brushed her hair “yes. I love the idea and it feels right.”

Lysandra squealed “I am so happy for you two. I knew you two were going to marry next.”

Aelin rolled her eyes “no one spoke of marriage. Yes, things developed but that is still very far away.” Then she looked at her watch “gotta go and get changed.” She jumped off the gurney “this stays between us.”

“Yes, mrs Whitethorn.” Aelin rolled her eyes one more time and left to get ready for their shift.

Once she arrived back in the common room she found it empty. That was strange. She walked out in the yard and found her answer.

Aedion, being the crazy military man that he was, was running rope rescue drills with Borte and the rest of the team was helping by playing victims.

“Captain,” said Aedion noticing her arrival “I just thought to use these quiet moments to do something useful.” She looked at Ress and Brullo playing victims and their face clearly showed that they would have been happier lazying in the common rom in front of the tv. A treat that Aedion allowed them only after he had executed his daily cruel routine. He believed in drills and training and Aelin was more than happy to give him free rain. When her workload would allow it, she would join in as well.

“Go on lieutenant.” She nodded, then turned to Borte “listen to him and you will do well.”

The woman nodded and they went back to training.

Aelin on the other hand, went back to her office and buried herself on paperwork. That was the downside of being a captain, she had to deal with all the staff related issues for both shifts; holidays, rosters and any other issue coming her way. In front of her she had a small pile for staff requests, most of them time off requests she had to squeeze in in the next roster. The next bigger pile were the reports for the last call they had. It was her job to finalise them and file them. She hated writing reports. That’s why she was now procrastinating. One report lay in front of her abandoned while she was texting with Rowan. He told her he was having lunch with Gavriel later on. She told him to have fun and leave the other women alone. Aelin was about to go back to her paperwork when dispatch alarm went off and she laughed that she had been saved by the bells.

She ran out of her office and to her engine donning her turnout gear left on the floor with the others, jumped on the vehicle and put her jacket on while Nox drove out followed by truck and the ambulance.

“Structure fire,” said Nox.

“Don’t you just love mornings?”

The drive did not take long. Aelin jumped off the engine followed by her team. Luckily the house was small “Ansel, Luca I want you to vent the back.” Then she turned to Aedion “I can see a basement, take Ress and Brullo and do a search there.” Then she looked at the new recruit “Borte, Manon, you are with me, we’ll do a sweep of the first floor.” The three women moved inside “we don’t have much time,” she shouted over the radio “the fire is deep in the structure. Sweep and once you are clear you get out.” She turned right and indicated to Borte and Manon to cover the rest of the floor.

“Fire department, call out.” She shouted. Crouching low Aelin began to sweep methodically the room, visibility was bad and the fire was quickly spreading. They did not have much time.

“Fire department, call out.” She was about to turn around when she saw a foot peeking from behind the sofa. “I got someone,” she shouted over the radio.

Aelin was about to grab the elderly lady when she perked up and started screaming “let me die.” The woman shouted and resisted Aelin’s help almost pushing her on the ground.

“We need to go.” Aelin grabbed the woman’s arms but she was much stronger than expected and pushed her away again “I need assistance in the living room.” She called over the radio and Manon appeared a moment later.

“Let me die. Let me die.” Kept repeating the woman fighting Aelin.

Aelin nodded to Manon and they grabbed one the shoulders and the other one the legs and carried out the elderly lady who kept trashing all the way outside. They placed her on the gurney and Lysandra and Elide took care of the woman who was now weeping hard.

Aedion joined her “basement clear.”

Aelin removed her mask “guys scene is clear, get the water going now.” Then she stared at the woman on the gurney and wondered.

They did a secondary search “fire originated in the kitchen,” said Brullo joining her outside “cooking oils fire gone wild.”

Aelin nodded “let’s pack up and return to quarters.”

The journey back to the station was quiet and Aelin could not remove from her head the plea from the woman to let her die. What kind of pain would drive someone to beg to let them die in a fire?

Once back at the station she hid back in her office and tried to work again, but after an hour she gave up. She got out and called her team “engine, let’s go for a ride. Aedion, keep truck here. I have the radio with me. If we get a call we’ll see you on the scene.” She jumped on the engine and Nox was at the wheel waiting for her orders “Orynth General.” The man nodded and the engine drove out of the station.

“Do you think she did it?” Asked Asterin from the back.

“I don’t know,” replied Aelin, her gaze fixed outside.

Nox parked the rig just outside of the hospital “you stay here just in case.” She got off the vehicle and walked into the building and then the A&E reception “Hi Sorscha,” she said to the woman.

“Hi Aelin.”

“I believe Lys and Elide dropped off an elderly lady we rescued from a fire. I was wondering how she is.”

“Yes, Mrs Perkins.” She typed something in her computer “smoke inhalation mostly and some first degree burns.”

“Did you manage to contact any family?”

Sorscha nodded “her daughter is driving from Illium just now.”

Aelin nodded “can I go and see her?”

“Med bay three.” And the doctor pointed her in the right direction.

Once there she knocked against the beam to announce her presence “Mrs Perkins?”

“Yes?” Said the woman shakily.

Aelin moved a step in “Hi, my name is Aelin, I am one of the firefighters who rescued you.”

The woman looked away “why did you do that?” The woman’s voice was strained.

“It’s my job. I can’t let people burn inside buildings.” She explained quietly.

The woman’s hazelnut eyes met hers “I begged you, though. I wanted to die.” Her voice broke and Aelin noted again the pain in the woman’s voice.

She sat on the chair at her side and took her hand “why?”

The woman was silent for a moment “I lost my husband six months ago. We had been together for fifty two years.” Aelin’s heart hurt at the pain in the woman’s stare “it might make me weak, but I miss him and without him I feel lost.”

Aelin took a deep breath, fighting the tears threatening to appear. For a brief second her treacherous heart showed a life without Rowan and she could share the woman’s pain.

“You are far too young to understand.”

“A year and a half ago I lost my fiancee. He was a firefighter too. He died in a fire,” she confessed, pain gripping her heart. Yes, losing Rowan would probably break her completely, but Sam’s death had pushed to an abysm that she struggled to come back from for a while. “it almost destroyed me. I gave up on everything for a while. I felt like I could not go on without him. My friends brought me back from the darkness.”

“What was his name?”

“Sam.” She gripped the woman’s hand “I am sure your husband would like to know that you are still alive and well. He wouldn’t want you to give up for him.”

The woman nodded and in that instant her radio went off.

“Go,” said the lady “go and save someone else.”

Aelin rushed out and joined the engine “let’s go, guys.” And they rushed to another call.

An hour later engine and truck made it back to the station. Everyone went to their duties and Aelin walked back to the office, finally trying to catch up to all the paperwork. At least she had a good excuse for Dorian if it was late. Saving people had the priority.

She was finally in the zone and making some progress when someone knocked at her door.

“Come in,” she almost snarled.

Aedion popped his blonde hair in the crack “someone for you at the front.”

Aelin sighed and followed him on the apparatus floor and saw a woman waiting for her with a box in her hands “Hi, are you Aelin?”

She nodded.

“My name is Ellie, I believe you saved my mum from a fire this morning.”

“You are mrs Perkin’s daughter.”

The woman in front of her nodded and offered her the box “as a thank you to all of you. I got it from the bakery down the road.”

“Thank you,” Aelin grabbed the box and placed it on the big bumper of the engine “how’s your mum?”

“They will discharge her tomorrow. Given her age they want to keep her in for a night to keep an eye on her.”

“I went to see her.”

“My mum…” the woman started and Aelin knew she was restraining the tears from coming “since dad died, she has barely left the house. My husband and I live in Illium. I go once a week and do a big shopping for her, help her in anyway I can. But she gave up on everything.”

“She told me.”

Then the woman sighed “I convinced her to come and live with us. The climate is much milder. Plus she has grandkids and I hope playing grandma will cheer her up.”

Aelin smiled fondly “I am so glad.”

“Thank you for dragging her outside. I could not have been able to cope with losing my mum so soon after my dad.”

“No need to thank me, it’s my job.”

The woman gave her a nod and a smile “I need to go back to the hospital. I just thought to come and say thank you.”

“Give her our best.”

“Will do.” And she walked away.

Aelin stared at the woman disappear for a moment, then she grabbed the box and went to the common room.

“I bring goodies,” the box high up and eyes turned to her at the announcement “from the daughter of the lady from the house fire this morning.” She placed the box on the table and her team ran to it as soon as they recognised its origin. They w ere all fan of the bakery.

“Leave some for Lysandra, Elide and Evangeline. They are the only ones working.” She smiled and walked away ignoring the sweets, something that Aedion noticed and followed her into her office.

“Are you okay?”

Aelin nodded.

“It’s not like you to pass on sweet treats from the bakery down the road.”

Aedion sat down across from her, worry deep in his expression “ok, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Will you stop it?” He almost shouted “I can totally tell there is something wrong but all of a sudden you have decided that you don’t need Lys and me anymore. I know you have posh boy but we have known you longer than him.” It was petty, but he was not letting her shutting down once again.

Aelin stood in a swift motion, facing him “that lady is what is wrong. She lost her husband of fifty two years six months ago and it just opened up wounds I thought had finally started to heal.” She paced behind the desk “her pain reminded me of my own. And every time I think I am getting better my fears come back, reminding me that Rowan has a dangerous job too and makes me want to bail on him and go back being on my own because I cannot go through that pain again.” She let out a ragged breath “this time it could destroy me for good. And I am so scared.”

He moved a step to her and hugged her tight “have you told him?”

Aelin shook her head “it’s just stupid fears,” her voice on the verge of a sob.

“No they are not and he needs to know. He deserves to know. The man is crazy about you.”

She sobbed in his arms her limbs lightly shaking “I love him, but I am so damn scared.”

“You should talk to Lys.” He said against her hair “even after years she is still terrified every single time that alarm goes off.” He sighed “and although her job is less scary, I worry every time she and Elide go out on their own. Until the ambulance comes back in here.”

Aelin pulled back from the embrace.

“Talk to him, okay?”

She nodded.

“Now come and eat some delicacies before the hungry hungry hippos we have in the common room polish up the entire box. You should have some. You saved that woman after all.”

Aelin was back in her office after she had managed to eat the last bits of cakes left. She also felt better. The chat with Aedion had helped and she had texted Rowan. She had to talk to him. Aedion had been right. Rowan deserved to know.

She was about to go back to work for the billionth time that day, when Aedion joined her again “hey, I know you are trying to work, but Orynth just got a snowstorm alert. It’s quite bad.”

Aelin got into action “I want to make sure we have supplies, have Ress check that the backup generators are in good shape. Make sure the truck and engine and the ambulance are in good shape if we get a call.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Aedion left and Aelin texted Rowan to get to the firehouse quickly. She did not want him around town when the storm hit. He texted back saying that he was driving Gav home and heading to the station.

Once in the common room she joined the others in front of the tv to listen to the news. The meteorologists expected high levels of snow and extreme temperatures.

“Ok, people we are in for a treat and probably a long shift. Let’s close the doors for now to keep the storm out.”

The squad spread out and went about their duties. Aelin went to phone Dorian for an update and Dorian gave her permission to use the house for shelter for anyone requesting it.

She tried to phone Rowan again and when he didn’t answer she started to worry. The weather was taking a turn for the worse.

The dispatch alarm went off calling for the ambulance assistance. The three paramedic ladies ran to the ambulance and Aedion joined Lysandra “be careful out there. It’s getting worse. Just drive safely, please.” He gave her a deep kiss “I love you.” She kissed him back and the three left.

Five minutes later they were on the scene and Lysandra gasped when she was off the ambulance and saw who was with the victim.

“Is that Rowan?” Asked Elide joining her.

“I took Gavriel home. I went to get something for Aelin before heading to the station and then I saw her on the ground. I think she bashed her head on the pavement.” He explained not leaving the side of the injured woman.

Lysandra noticed the good job he had done “you blocked her neck.”

“She was unconscious when I found her, but she has been breathing and has a pulse.”

“You’d make a good paramedic. You have the right instincts. ”

Lysandra grabbed the backboard while Rowan placed the collar around the woman’s neck.

“I’ll help you ladies.” And he lifted the board on the gurney with Lysandra.

“Go to the station, she is waiting for you.”

“Be safe, the three of you. The roads are nasty.”

Lysandra nodded and they climbed in the ambulance. He shut the doors and patted the door to tell them they were good to go.

Rowan walked back to his car and dumped the food on the passenger seat. Aelin had been craving a burger from Emrys in a while and they haven’t been able to go so he decided to surprise her.

Getting to the station took him longer than usual, the storm had worsened and visibility was almost non existent. He hoped they didn’t have to go out on a call.

He walked through the door and found the firehouse quite hectic. It seemed like the guys were busy getting ready.

“Captain…” Brullo waved at him.

“Is Aelin in her office?”

“She is in the gear room doing equipment checks.”

“Thanks Brullo.”

Rowan walked into the gear room and found her sitting on the floor playing with the oxygen tanks.

“I bring food.” He waved the bag at her and Aelin looked up at the sound of his voice.

“Ro.” She stood and jumped quickly in his arms “you made it.”

“I also bumped into Lys and Elide. And helped. I am the one who called for the ambulance.”

“Paramedic Whitethorn indeed.” She kissed him gently “now sit,” and snatched the bag of food from him.

“You really love the food more than me.”

Aelin kissed him “I love you but Emrys burgers are amazing. And I love you even more for bringing this.”

He sat on the floor with her and stole a few fries. “You should have gotten one for yourself.” And pushed her burger to him “come on, take half.” He took a bite and pulled his arm around her shoulder while she munched away happily.

“Can we talk?” She said softly after a while, taking the last bit of her burger.

“Of course we can.”

Aelin turned and kneeled in font of him, placing her hands on his knees “we got a call this morning. An old lady we think torched her own place to kill herself.” She told him “when I tried to save her she begged me to let her die.” She looked at him “I went to the hospital to see how she was and we talked.” Her hand grabbed Rowan’s, twining her fingers with his “she lost her husband of fifty two years six months ago. She could not live without him anymore.” She sighed deeply “it opened some wounds. Wounds I thought had now healed and my fears came back and with them the need to bail. To not get attached because the pain could be too much this time.” She sniffled “ but I am not leaving you, no matter how scared I am.” Rowan cupped her face and kissed her “I have the same fears. The night you told me what happened while I was away and walked on the balcony and left you I had the same thoughts. I wanted to bail too.” He kissed her again “I am not leaving you, though because although we haven’t been together for fifty two years, I can’t imagine not having you at my side.”

Aelin sobbed and nested against his chest, incapable of utter any more words. It terrified her sometimes how quickly she and Rowan had become involved after they stopped fighting, how deep the connection. She hoped they were meant to last, because in his arms she could only imagine a future with her silver-haired man.

“We are okay, Fireheart.” And hugged her tight “we can talk about our fears. You can talk to me, you know.”

She nodded “I know.” She sat back down “thank you for the burger.”

A kiss in her head “it was my pleasure.”

“So what do you do for equipment checks?” Rowan changed the topic trying to cheer up Aelin.

“Mostly checking that the tools are working, but most importantly check that the oxygen tanks have been filled.”

He stood and went to grab her jacket and tried it on “this is heavier than I thought.”

Aelin smiled and went to get a bundle “remove your shoes.”

He looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“The boots are always inside the trousers. We leave this near the trucks so when we get a call we just remove the shoes, step into the boots and pull up the trousers and then wear the jacket.”

Rowan put his feet in the boots as instructed, then Aelin helped him pull up the trousers and the suspenders and placed the jacket on him.

“So, so sexy right now.” She took a photo of him and then walked closer and kissed him “I have so many naughty thoughts right now.”

Rowan pinned her to the wall and kissed her avidly but she stopped when she heard the sound of the backup generator kick in “that’s the backup generators. Which means a possible power outage. The fun is about to start.”

Rowan removed the uniform very quickly and together they joined the rest in the common room.

“What’s the update?” She asked.

Aedion was about to reply when the dispatch alarm went off.

“Let’s get moving.” Shouted Aelin while running to the engine. Rowan joined her “be careful, all of you.”

“You play host here. Sometimes people come here for shelter.”

He nodded and gave her a quick last kiss before shutting the engine’s. In silence he watched the three vehicles roll out of the firehouse and disappear quickly in the heavy snowfall.

All he had to do now was wait and hope they would make it back safely.

He left the apparatus floor and sat on the sofa in the common room, the place eerily silent.

And waited…