#sorry for the quality I did this a while ago LMAO

[wittebanged]

Four men in uniform to carry home my little soldier.

[pixlatedvampire]

it happened... i rewatched two towers finally...

part 2

[timelessmulder]

[Fibercrafting] Whatever Happened to Spun With Love? {heavy}

(31 days of horror day 9: Spin)

For the past five years, Caitlin "Cat" Doherty found her foothold on sites like Instagram and Ravelry selling commissions for her eye catching, hand spun yarn made with ethically sourced dyes and alpaca wool. She had a small but moderate presence on the convention circuit, selling handmade goods that showed off her yarn. Eventually she started making limited runs, available at convention booths and through higher tiers of her Patreon. Shortly after this she quit her full time job in data entry to pursue fiber works full time.

In mid-2022, at the urging of some other people in the hand dyed yarn business, and people who had bought from her before, she opened her own Etsy. The catalog was massive, with at least twenty listings. This included her most popular limited runs that always sold out within moments. This was when the cracks first began to show, even among her most devoted followers: this was a huge amount of work for one person to be undertaking, even if the listings promised continued limited runs and wait lists.

In an Instragram announcement, crossposted to her Twitter, Cat said:

I appreciate the concern from all y'all :3c but I calculated the amount of work I think I'll be able to handle running a small business. If things actually spiral out of my control, I will step back and reevaluate.

Despite her words, a healthy amount of skepticism remained. Her fans worried about her health, and naysayers thought she'd fold within a few months.

this is a lot for someone to handle! take care of yourself cat

she's going to hightail it the first time she gets orders and the backlog goes crazy. shes doomed

wouldn't it have been smarter to start with like five??? get that bag ig

The orders remained steady for the first five months of operation. Cat would periodically close listings and get items out to customers with slow wait times that remained consistent, typically a few weeks before arrival. The convention appearances came to an end, much to the dismay of people who enjoyed seeing her cottagecore booth in person, but Cat assured people that once she found a groove with this business she would start going to conventions again.

No one was really surprised when things started to slow down. Reports brought up longer wait times, and a major backlog that she couldn't keep up with.

i was put on a waitlist like two months ago and people who ordered straight from the listing got shit before me

girl just limit the waitlist no one will judge you!!!

Cat Doherty tweeted an apology:

I'm so sorry for all the issues. A major life event happened, but I'll be getting back on top of things! I will be halting any new listings to work on my backlog. I'm so sorry for the frustration and inconvenience. In the meantime, why don't you check out Jessica's shop, Spindle and Thimble?

Jessica White was a fellow dyer who also did work dying fabrics. Her store was not as prominent as Cat's, but she had an unmatched business savvy that gave her a solid niche despite middling Etsy reviews. While most of their friendship remained behind the scenes, with Jessica being someone who preferred to keep her life offline, it seemed that Jessica wanted the novice entrepreneur to succeed. Many took the shout out to be Cat returning the favor.

True to her word, Cat closed her Etsy for the time being and started to send out yarn to the people still waiting on orders. People responded with annoyance at how long it took, but surprised delight that the quality was excellent as always.

Three months after the announcement, the shipments stopped. A thread by Lisa Fitz appeared on ravelry:

Has anyone gotten an order from Spun With Love recently?

I should've been in her next batch of orders but its been weeks. I haven't gotten a shipment and no text communication from Doherty. I paid upfront for this!

This spun out in predictable directions.

Christ I hope she's okay ):

lmao who wants to bet money that we've got another "fake her death because she couldn't handle the pressure?" going on

The second comment referencing multiple situations where fiber craft artists have faked their deaths due to being overwhelmed by their sales numbers, most notably Mystic Creations Yarn (talked about in this thread). This situation exploded, with some people doubling down on the idea that she's vanished off the face of the earth rather than deal with potentially irate customers, while others expressed genuine concern. Everyone agreed that if there was an issue, they hoped she would reach out to them and explain.

A few days later, when the argument was a post every few hours instead of a constant stream, Jessica stepped in.

Hey guys, Jessica here. Cat has asked me to let you know that she's had a major health scare and she's very sorry for the upset she's caused to all of you. In the mean time, I will be offering free products of similar color to those who haven't had their orders fulfilled. Just email me a copy of your receipt. If not, we will work on getting refunds out to you.

Most were relieved at the update on Cat's well being, while others preened at being correct that she'd fold under the pressure. More arguments ensued between those people, and those scolding them for being so callous about her health. The argument got pretty heated, only stopping when a mod stepped in to tell everyone to play nice. Creative burnout is a known thing in the crafting community and Cat shouldn't be punished for it, though she should have stepped forward sooner to let everyone know what was happening.

The thread fizzled out after that. People moved on with their lives, chalking this up to another piece of craft drama and more than happy to leave it at that.

Months passed, and someone returned to that thread:

Sorry to necro, but did anyone else see the news report?

In the post was a link to a news report from the town where Cat was living. She had been murdered, and her body only recently found.

To say the thread exploded after that would be an understatement. There were people apologizing for being so cruel about her vanishing, people were trying to reach out to her family to see if there was any way they could help. Digital vigils were held for the person taken too soon. And as it often does on the internet, a question arose from the posters: who had done it? Why?

hey can anyone get into contact with jessica???

i don't think its appropriate. they were friends, jessica is probably grieving like the rest of us

dude leave her alone

idk yall her post is pretty suspicious

what the fuck is wrong with you?

But the seed of suspicion was laid in the minds of some forum users. It spread into the wider community, though everyone's grief disguised any suspicions placed on Jessica. Those who found her behavior odd were often shunned and blocked for it, until they stopped bothering outside of their conspiracy corners. These people would soon be vindicated when news broke that Jessica White had been arrested in relation to the death of 34-year-old Caitlin Doherty.

The investigation at this point is still on going and very little is known about it, but initial reports are saying that someone broke into Cat's rented studio and beat her to death with one a piece of her spinning wheel. Few other details have been released to the public.

--------

ffiberfarrts commented | 2.1k upvotes:

hey op why is this on hobbydrama

[cheresha]

While I was working on my last drawing I thought it would be fun to make a post explaining my process like the one I did for my digital art! This is mostly an excuse to gush about copic markers because they are my absolute favorite medium and I feel like working with them has helped me improve a lot in a short period of time! It's also really fun to take something that isn't made for realism and try to adapt it to my style.

This is in no way a tutorial because I still have a lot to learn and improve upon but I will be sharing some tips that have made my drawing process way easier!

I'm putting the rest under a read more because I'll probably end up writing a novel length post lmao

Now, let's start from the basics - this is the sketchbook I use because it's made for markers and allows you to blend the colors smoothly while giving you a glossy finish.

Please ignore its sorry state, it's relatively new but it fell apart almost immediately 🙄 Not to sound like a grumpy old person but my old one I got a few years ago was of much better quality but it is what it is I guess. I'll still continue using it because it's still the best I've tried. It's also really good for color pencils.

Moving on to the markers - I have quite a few, mostly skin tones and pinks because that's what I need for the result I'm looking to achieve but if you're just starting or are not interested in drawing realistic portraits, this set is pretty much all you need to draw people and you can get whichever other colors you see fit. I have a few bright colors I use mostly for backgrounds.

About the price - they are expensive, yes, but if you are like me and use them 2-3 times a month they can last for a really long time. The one I use the most lasted me for over 1 year so in my opinion they are worth giving a try if you have the budget for them, especially because you can easily mix the colors to create new shades instead of buying new markers.

Moving on to the process itself - I try to make my drawings relatively small, as you can see here.

That's because copic markers dry really fast and you have to work quickly if you want your colors to blend properly 🥲 The smaller the drawing, the easier your life will be (his right arm was pretty stressful to draw ngl). Also since the paper is really thin be careful with your eraser because if you damage it, the marker ink will turn that spot into a weird looking splotch that you won't be able to fix 🥲

I have to admit that lineart is not my favorite thing to draw because I have shaky hands and tend to make mistakes but I think it makes my drawings look better so I try my best to practice more and always do warmups before I start. I got these fineliners from my local art supply store and like them quite a lot since they don't smudge easily. I use the 0,2 one for the drawing itself and the 0,5 one for the 'frame'. I like to wait for at least 30 minutes for my lineart to dry before I start coloring. Also, most of the time I don't ink the eyebrows at this point but prefer to draw them on after I'm done with the rest of the face because I will go over them so many times with my markers that I might end up smudging them pretty badly.

After my lineart has dried, I like to get the background done first because if I leave it for last, it can smudge the hair and stain my marker which will alter its color and that annoys me a lot even though it's fixable. Also, this is probably the only time I use the broad tip of the marker because it's perfect for bigger areas. Otherwise it's not very precise so I use the bush tip for everything else. I usually go over the background twice to make sure it looks as smooth as possible.

Okay, moving on to the face! I like to start from the midtones because it helps give structure to the face from the very beginning. After that I go in with the palest shade I have - pale fruit pink (E000). I use it mostly for blending and for the highlights since it's barely visible and really helps you achieve a smooth look. I like it way more than the clear one they sell specifically for blending, it's such a waste of money and leaves weird discolored spots all over your drawing 🙄

Here we make a pretty big time jump because I was fighting for my life (trying to blend the shadows). I recently got the cool brown (E71) and love it so much, it's perfect for the darker areas, also the hair and eyes! But you can achieve a pretty similar color if you go over E11 or E93 with BV31, I use it a lot because it makes the transition between the different shades way smoother and I feel like it gives extra depth to the face!

And the rest of his face is done! For some reason mixing a decent lip color is not easy for me because they tend to end up looking really cartoonish/unnatural but I feel like these 3 colors gave me a pretty okay result! Fortunately his eyebrow turned out okay too, I went in with the cool brown (E71) first a couple of times to establish the basic shape and later added the eyebrow hairs with the 0,2 fineliner.

I used the same colors and technique for his neck - nothing new to add here.

Same with his arm, except I used only the lavender color for the darkest parts - you can't really see it from the picture but irl it looks almost the same as the cool brown.

Time for the hair! This is probably where I need to improve the most since it always looks the most cartoonish out of the whole drawing and it really doesn't look that good compared to the more realistic skin. Black hair is especially difficult for me since you can't really blend the black marker and trying to go over it does nothing but stain my lighter markers. That's why currently I start from my higlight color - it also doesn't have to look neat since it will get covered by the black later and the uneven strokes help add some depth to the finished hair :))

I think I did a decent job overall and going over some of the highlights with this darker gray helped, too. Sometimes I like using a white pen to add a few more details but here I decided against it since I wanted to keep things simple.

I loooove adding stray hairs but I think I went a bit overboard here ahah I also need to get a 0,1 fineliner for them since this one seems a bit too thick.

As I mentioned before, his other arm was pretty hard because I had to work extra fast but I ended up liking how it turned out! I especially love drawing the small details on the hands so I had lots of fun, too. Also, I used the same colors for his pants minus the pinkish one (E93).

And now it's time for the final boss - the cardigan. I've never drawn such a detailed outfit before but it was pretty simple in terms of colors so it wasn't that difficult in the end and I got to practice drawing two very different types of fabric. I also forgot to add it here but I went over these 2 colors with a light warm gray (W-1) a couple of times to give it a softer look.

Here's the finished cardigan - I also added the black details with my marker instead of a fineliner because I didn't want it to look too precise/neat.

I also added the shadows under him with these 2 colors.

And finally I used these 2 for the sheets!

Thank you for reading this whole thing (if you're here you deserve a prize fr), I love talking about markers sm so if there's anything else you're curious about please don't hesitate to let me know!

[lonelylonelyghost]

Re-watch of The Spirealm. Episode 24

"How did you get your injuries?"

"I had an accident a long time ago, my friend chose not to save me, and then I got a cut."

"... What kind of friend would leave you in a lurch?"

"Maybe he just didn't care much about me."

:(

With friends like these who needs enemies

"Baby boy, please, don't cry, read it three times, and sleep tight"

OK, I'm sorry @viki, I appreciate your efforts and I'm usually not the one to start a beef with anybody, but that was an incredibly lame translation, wtf...

From the other fan-subs that I had it sounds something like this:

"The sky is anxious, the earth is uneasy,

There is a crying boy in my family,

Recite it three times when passing by here

It's like falling into the sky when I wake up"

Not 100% sure about the accuracy, but can you see the difference??? Also, according to the novel it's a common folk tradition, where "if you have a child at home who cries a lot, you can write this rhyme on a sheet of paper and then stick it in a busy intersection. If passerby read it enough, your child would stop crying." (Chapter 79)

[edit: in ep.26 they had a better translation, but still]

Paying a visit to a menace incarnate

Ruan Nanzhu's I-can-be-a-little-shit-and-you-can't-do-anything-about-it-because-I'm-also-powerful-af face lmao

Honestly, Li Dongyuan, I get it. Unfortunately you don't have any more chances with him than Xu Jin had with Lin Qiushi, so...

Oh the fun!!! 😈

Nanzhu is worried as hell

But Qianli's comment about seeing Chestnut as his daughter-in-law????? Sneaky and genius. And he's not wrong! Nanzhu is his "older brother" figure, and Qiushi is his brother-in-law, so yeah, Chestnut is Chengling's child-in-law

Gay math 👍

This scene gives me chills. All of them seem at least somewhat relaxed while sending Qiushi away (except Nanzhu, but he has the right), but when Qiushi enters the Door, all their masks of carefree attitude disappear and they immediately stand up and go towards the door.

And they wait, hoping for the best, but fully knowing that in 15 minutes Qiushi might arrive only to disappear again, this time forever...

Yey! Wu Qi!

Literally the only thing I regret the drama didn't take from the novel is the first time we see Gu Longming (here it's Wu' Qi's alias, in the novel he was a completely separate dude).

Just imagine, you talk online to a girl who is scared of her situation and desperately asking for your help, and when you finally meet each other, instead of a tiny adorable school girl you get this:

With the outfit and everything

And it's just 💀💀💀

Absolutely hysterical

(and also, you should check out Ladybeard 👆, he's awesome)

The dynamic between them in the Doors is great. Just Qiushi being constantly incredulous and exasperated, and Wu Qi just being just a scared 🥺 kitten.

Everything will go over great!

Avengers, assemble! 🍭🍭🍭

😠🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

🙏🙏🙏🙏

THE WOMEN IN THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!

A calming ambience

Yes, according to censorship, there is no such thing as a River God in this world, but there IS a candle made out of human fat that repels the evil spirits in shape of little pigs walking on hind legs. Logic, everybody!

Dumbasses 🧡🧡🧡

Ideas for activities to spend some quality time with your bros:

Fish out and examine the corpse of a child that was thrown into the river as a sacrifice to a River God. 10/10

A painting

I'm dying from Wu Qi's faces in this Door 😆

This one is giving me - "I just dreamed about being abducted by aliens, and when I woke up things are not much better" - energy

"Dangerous Shit Detector" in the shape of a crying creepy baby doll is a very cool thing

[oneshortdamnfuse]

Movie criticisms are generally fine and an important part of the ecosystem, but some of the criticisms of the RWRB film are so funny. Here's some I ran into:

Why did Henry - the one with more experience - bottom, when I headcanon Book!Henry as a top? (Not the top and bottom discourse 💀)

Henry gave Alex a blow job while wearing a suit and tie which is "unrealistic." (Ah, but the U.S. president's son falling in love with the prince of England is so realistic)

Book!Alex and Book!Henry met at the Rio Olympics in 2016! Why did they change it to the Melbourne Climate Conference. (My dear, that is seven years ago and Alex's mom wouldn't have been president then)

They're the straightest actors with no chemistry! (Let's stop speculating on actors' identities, even if they say they're straight. I've lived through multiple actors being outed and/or questioned when they play queer roles. This movie was made by a queer man and the queer love scenes were carefully put together by an intimacy coordinator. Like... Be for real.)

*Disclaimer: I haven't read the book. My friend did, and we watched the movie together. She loved it.

Along with people not understanding why this movie got an R-rating (which I've explained can be attributed to the fact that this movie and the book were made by and for adults), I think people can't cope with queer media being allowed to be over the top and silly. It's a fun movie. It's really no different in quality than any other romantic dramedy I've ever seen, and that's a good thing. It might not be your cup of tea and that's fine, but the kinds of things people are losing their minds over are just so so so unserious. I'm sorry Henry taking dick ruined your fantasy lmao

[tls123]

Sorry if I bother you, but I really love your gif sets! Do you know some tutorials or, app, or anything, to learn how to make good gif? I am learning and I feel very stupid because all my gifs are shit. (if my ask is inappropriate or anything, please ignore me)

you're not bothering and none of this is inappropriate, you're more than welcome in my inbox! as for your questions, let's see what i can do.

1) tutorials — i've been doing this for long enough that i don't really have much to recommend here, the only tutorials i use nowadays are all about specific things and not how to make gifs as a whole. that being said i've linked this one before, i personally do some things differently but it's a very good tutorial, well-received by gifmakers who are just starting and well written, from what i've skimmed through.

another good post to look through is this one, not a gifmaking tutorial per se but it goes into sizes, sharpening, and how to get neat & clear gifs. two of the main points are A) while you can get away with making gifs out of a 720p quality video, 1080p is what is usually recommended. you could use 4k as well, but a 1080p video is usually easier to find, will take less space in your storage, and will give you really good results already. no need for overkill <3 as for B) size matters here on tumblr dot com, mostly width. the op of the post linked in this paragraph has included a nice graphic for the size limits for gifs, you can refer to it as you make your gifs so that whatever you make won't turn out pixelated once you upload it to tumblr.

if you're curious, i've been asked about my sharpening settings here and i spoke before on tumblr sizing here

2) software — you mentioned app, if by app you mean mobile stuff then i'm sorry, i can't help you! i've never made gifs through mobile and i wouldn't even know which direction to point towards for you to find more information. as for computers, if you mean programs then these are what i use to make my gifs: potplayer (for taking screencaps) and photoshop cc 2020 (for making the actual gifs, this is the post i used but here's one with more links)

now i'd like to mention something my grandma always used to say: no one is born learned. you're not stupid just because it's taking you a while to do something, learning is a process and everyone has their own pace. i've been making gifs for a decade now and i know there are things i could do better! i'm also still learning, i make plenty of "shit" gifs before stumbling my way to something i am okay with posting, and sometimes i'm really proud of what i've made and other times i think it's just "good enough". i understand feeling disheartened but please do not feel stupid about any of this!

no use in putting yourself down, now hold my hand and let's add the finishing touches on this long ass reply <3

3) tips — we've mentioned video quality, sharpening, and sizing. what else, what else. personally i would start simple (and i did, way back when, and still do!! most of my gifs are quite simple). so: cropping/resizing + coloring + sharpening. it'll help get the basics down and then you'll have a good foundation for everything else you might want to learn. i mentioned in another ask, almost two years ago now lmao, that i used to download other people's free psds (that is, pre-made settings and layers to color your gifs) and instead of using them i would open them up and pick them apart to see how people were coloring things, which layers they used, in which order, stuff like that.

remember: there is no right or wrong to do this! you could ask ten different people how they make their gifs, and their preferences for any specific part of the process, and you'd get ten different answers. if you find a tutorial and don't vibe with it, throw that aside and look for another. pick and choose, find what works for you and what doesn't! and that means do not be afraid to experiment and try things out.

also, don't like photoshop? no problem! i started with gimp, now personally i wouldn't recommend it over ps but it's a good program, it taught me a lot, and there's really nothing to hate about it. it might have less functions than ps though, and already a decade ago there weren't that many tutorials/resources for it.

don't like photoshop AND don't want to download a program? try photopea, i haven't used it but it works directly from your browser and it should do everything photoshop does!

let me know if there's anything else i can help with <3

[ithinkyouhealedmyheart]

Ghostwriter Ch 10

Unbetad Unedited Unhinged || AO3

Character(s): Kendall Knight, James Diamond, Gustavo Rocque, Carlos Garcia, Logan Mitchell, Veronica Clark oc

Pairing(s): Kendall Knight/Veronica Clark, Kendall Knight & Veronica Clark

a/n: starstruck is by far my favorite movie, so, uh... keep that in mind lmao. I also have two songs I make a reference to in the beginning

Kendall heard music coming from the recording studio. He was under the impression that Big Time Rush was done with vocals for today. He and the guys were heading out for some quality time at the pool when he realized he left his beanie at Rocque Records. He followed the sound of the music through the halls, which led him to recording studio B. He also heard singing that didn’t belong to either Gustavo or Kelly. Pressing his ear against the door, he chuckled softly. Whoever was inside had no idea that someone else was in the building. They probably assumed Gustavo and Kelly would ignore them, but Kendall wouldn’t. This was the perfect opportunity to embarrass some poor soul. He cracked the door open and peeked inside, the poppy music flooding through the doors. 

“You could want this. See if it fits for a bit, and if you don’t like it, then you could go like you have been.” He froze when he realized Ronnie was singing. 

The song was playing over the speakers in the recording studio. She held a broom and swept the floor, dancing slightly as she jostled it around like a microphone stand. 

“This could hurt some, but if we don’t, we’ll never know what it’s worth to you. I saw you first. Do you remember?” Kendall snickered quietly. 

It was funny watching Ronnie sing and dance like no one was watching. Technically, it was like she was putting on a little show. Admittedly, Kendall didn’t want to make her feel bad, but he couldn’t help but laugh. In a twisted sort of way, it was cute. She was genuinely having fun while cleaning up after Gustavo and the guys. Although peeking through a crack in the door felt like an intrusion, she’d stop goofing around if he announced himself. The song died down, and another one started. Maybe she was listening to the CD Lucy gave her? 

“Testing, testing, I’m just suggesting you and I might not be the best thing. Exit, exit somehow, I guessed it right. All right?” 

Kendall’s smile fell off his face. Maybe he should stop listening and announce his presence, but he didn’t want this to end. Even though he apologized and could talk to her again, she was still closed off around him. Logan, Carlos, and James had more animated conversations with her than he could ever have. In a way, this was like he was picking her brain. 

“But I still want ya, want ya, don’t mean to taunt ya. If you leave now, I’ll come back and haunt ya.” 

“You’ll remember, return to sender now, now…” 

Okay, Kendall was making his presence known. He pushed the door open wider and cleared his throat. Ronne jumped and spun around. The broom clattered to the ground, and she stared with wide eyes like a deer caught in headlights. It was awkward, staring at each other, but it was getting even more uncomfortable listening to her jam out to what was most likely a love song. 

Kendall coughed into his hand, trying to lean casually against the door and pretend he wasn’t listening like a creep. He wasn’t being creepy because his intentions were pure, but she didn’t know that. 

“What are you listening to?” 

With the remote, Ronnie lowered the volume and brushed her hair out of her face. 

“Mariana’s Trench. Sorry, did you need something?” She laughed awkwardly and picked the broom up off the floor. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Gustavo told me to clean the recording studio,” 

“Seriously?” Kendall raised a brow. 

“Yes.” Ronnie furrowed her brows. She examined the expression on his face but was still frazzled from getting caught. “What do you want?” 

“Came back for my beanie,” Kendall said, noting that it was neatly sitting in one of the swivel chairs. 

“Oh– But you left an hour ago?” 

Kendall crossed the room quickly and grabbed his beanie, sitting on his head haphazardly. 

“James also forgot his lucky comb. Have you seen it?” 

“No. I haven’t seen his comb.” Ronnie shook her head. 

“Do you want help?” Kendall tilted his head. 

“Well, I mean, I’m almost finished. All I have left is… The sweeping.” She glanced at the broom handle. A minute ago, Ronnie had pretended it was a microphone on a stand because she thought she was alone. 

“Are you doing anything after this?” Kendall fidgeted with his hands. 

Ronnie choked on her saliva. Is there too much wax in her ears? 

“I’m sorry. Are you asking me out on a date?” She was prepared to kick herself if she misread the situation mentally. Kendall’s head snapped up, and he looked around for an answer. 

“What? No! Friends. We’re friends. I figured you haven’t seen much of L.A.” 

“And how would you know that?” Ronnie asked with an accusatory tone. “You’d have to have followed me around for that information.” 

“I don’t know… It was easy, considering you haven’t left the Palm Woods.” 

“So, what? You want to take me sightseeing?” 

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Kendall shrugged. “I have my license, and I can drive you around to see all the best tourist spots.” 

Momentarily, Ronnie was quiet as she looked down at the broom in her hands. She had wasted time goofing off instead of cleaning as Gustavo wanted, but no one was there to yell at her then. She wanted to go sightseeing in Los Angeles. Take corny pictures before the Hollywood sign and grab one of those dumb keychains. She had no idea when Griffin or Gustavo would send her back to Vermont, so she might as well have a souvenir as proof that she went to L.A. It wouldn’t hurt to go sightseeing. 

“I know Gustavo barely gave us a lunch break. We could go to Sunset & Vine.” Kendall suggested. 

“Isn’t that place expensive?” 

“So? You have Gustavo’s credit card.” Kendall snapped finger guns at her. 

“I’m not going to–” Ronnie paused and considered it momentarily. “It’s an option.” 

“Exactly! So, whaddya say?” 

“Okay. I hope you’re a good driver.” 

She had less than zero confidence in his driving abilities. Kendall and his friends have a penchant for causing destruction, and it isn’t too far off to be weary of how well he drives. She was also thrown off that Kendall even wanted to hang out with her outside of work. It was strange. Ronnie figured he only realized he had to be nice to her, or she would ignore him and give him the cold shoulder. That was all this had to be, right? He acts friendly so that she doesn’t freeze him out and embarrass him in front of his friends. If they went to the same school, he wouldn’t have noticed her, and better yet, he would avoid her if he did. 

It wasn’t that Ronnie wasn’t confident enough or that she didn’t think any popular guy would go for her, but she never tried to step out of her comfort zone. Coming to L.A. was a pretty giant leap. If some jock asked her out, she would unfortunately turn the prospect down. Romance and relationship were uncharted territory, with too many unspoken rules she had yet to understand or figure out. Sometimes, navigating her friendship with Callie and Addison was more complicated than it should be. It was like navigating a social minefield. One wrong move, and someone blew up. 

“You’re a little quiet there.” 

Ronnie snapped out of it. They waited for the elevator at the end of the hall. She must have zoned out while walking. Her mind was an echo chamber, and it was hard to get her away once she got too deep. She felt like she didn’t have time to process everything. 

“I’m always quiet.” She shoved her hands in her pockets. 

“More like you always have too much on your mind.” Kendall raised a brow. 

“I think a lot. So, what?” 

“Hey, hey, hey. I never said it was a bad thing.” 

“Not those exact words, but you had that tone.” 

“Tone?” Kendall furrowed his brows. 

The elevator opened, and the both of them stepped inside. 

“Nothing. Nevermind. You’ll think it’s weird.” 

“No,” Kendall shook his head. “I wouldn’t think you’re weird.” 

“It was…” Ronnie sighed. “You said it almost like you were teasing me,” 

“Well, I wasn’t. Whatever you think I think about you is all in your head.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot that you’re such a nice guy.” 

“Okay, now you’re teasing me.” 

“Exactly. Because I am.” 

“Hey, I’m a nice guy!” 

“Nice guys don’t usually have to announce that fact.” 

Kendall paused and stared at her with his jaw on the floor. The elevator signaled they were on the ground floor, and he watched her walk out. He had to admit she got him. Maybe he wasn’t as nice as he thought, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. But her comment caught him off guard. He felt she knew him and who he was under the facade for some reason. Shaking his head, he followed after her. He won’t think about that now. 

“Why do you always act like you don’t want to spend time with anyone?” 

“What do you mean?” Ronnie tilted her head, staring up at him, confused. “I’m glad you want to spend time with me.” 

“Oh– You just seem… I dunno, indifferent…” Kendall shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. 

“Oh, right, sorry.” She cleared her throat and put on a fake smile. “Oh my Gawd, I am so happy to spend the day with Kendall Knight from the biggest boyband Big Time Rush! Tell me everything about yourself. Your favorite color, your favorite food, your favorite school subject!” Ronnie twirled a strand of her hair around her finger and mocked him with the fake Valley girl voice. 

“Why do you do that?” 

“Because, unlike your fans, I’m not head over heels for you.” 

“I think you might like me once you get to know me,” Kendall rolled his eyes and put on sunglasses that he seemingly pulled out of nowhere. What is it with people pulling things out of thin air? 

“Do you not have sunglasses?” He noticed how she squinted in the light and shielded her eyes with her hands. For a moment, he considered giving her his sunglasses. 

“I’m fine.” Ronnie lied, trying not to squint too much and make it seem like the L.A. sun was already affecting her. She knew she had forgotten something this morning. 

Mrs. Knight graciously let Kendall drive her second rental car after Katie’s fake friend drove the first rental in a high-speed chase. It was a beat-up Toyota with dark green paint. No celebrity would be caught dead driving one of these, and the paparazzi would be utterly unaware if he were in it. Big Time Rush wasn’t globally famous, but the group gained traction with their first album and a successful interview with Deke. Kendall opened the passenger door for Ronnie. He was somewhat of a perfect gentleman. Or at least he knew how to act the part. 

The passenger seat was uncomfortable, and the car smelled slightly like gasoline. She could only imagine the car would go up in flames if she lit a match. Pulling at the levers on the side of the seat, she adjusted the back. Kendall shut the door and ran around the car to climb into the driver's side. 

“Are you sure you don’t need sunglasses?” The blonde dug around in the door and procured a pair of sunglasses, flashing her a toothy grin. 

“Okay, okay.” Ronnie took the sunglasses from him and placed them on her face. It was strange how they sat on the bridge of her nose. The weird, fuzzy feeling made her want to scratch her face until it was red. 

“I can’t believe you haven’t checked out L.A., and you’ve been here for almost two weeks.” 

Ronnie was occupied with looking out the back while Kendall pulled out of the Rocque Records parking lot. She was convinced he would crash into something. 

“What can I say? I don’t have a lot of time,” 

“We have nothing but time!” Kendall laughed. 

“I’ve been too busy following you around.” 

“Really?” 

“I’ve been cleaning up after you and your friends and getting you out of trouble. If I’m being honest, I kind of don’t care about this stupid city.” 

“Okay, you don’t like me, but don’t take it out on Los Angeles.” Kendall scoffed. “This is one of the greatest cities in the world. I told you I’ll take you sightseeing, and I’m the best tour guide.” 

“Really? You? A great tour guide?” Ronnie deadpanned. 

Kendall turned up the radio, and a poppy duet flooded the speakers. Ronnie rolled her eyes and adjusted herself in the car seat. It was having fun in the sun and spending time with one another. It was pretty ironic, considering the circumstances. Leaning against the window, she watched the world pass by. Adjusting the sunglasses on her face, she sniffed. From the window, she watched Malibu beach whizz past. Ronnie didn’t necessarily hate the beach, but she preferred the pool. Sand got everywhere, and there were always too many people. She didn’t live near beaches, but her parents took her to state parks and swimming holes when she was younger. They weren’t the most fun because the gravel would stick to her wet feet, or some kid would accidentally push her into the water. For as long as she could remember, she liked looking at the water but hated being in the water. 

Their first stop was Venice Boardwalk. Kendall was decently parked, and he double-checked to make sure the paparazzi weren’t following them. The blonde hadn’t had a run-in with them yet, but he could only imagine what Gustavo and Griffin would be like if the tabloids got their greasy hands on some made-up scandal. Their reactions wouldn’t be positive in the slightest. Maybe even Gustavo would have a heart attack. Not that Kendall wanted him to have a heart attack. It was funny to piss him off or get him angry, but only with harmless antics. If the paparazzi saw the way Ronnie was glued to him amidst the crowd, he was sure they would prattle off about how the frontman for Big Time Rush found himself a new girlfriend after getting his heart broken by the actress from Newtown High. Just thinking about it made his skin crawl. The one thing he hated about being famous was the lack of privacy. It wasn’t as bad as someone like Dak Zevon would experience, but it was still pretty weird. Suddenly, people wanted to know everything about what he and his friends were doing. Where they shopped, what they liked to eat, and who they hung out with. 

Ronnie ordered a pretzel with extra salt and butter, and Kendall grabbed a slice of pepperoni pizza. It was starting to look like a picture-perfect day. The sun was shining, and there were no clouds in the sky. Los Angeles was pretty scenic once you got past all the car fumes and the people crowding every street corner. Ronnie stopped by a stand selling sunglasses. There were rounded shades, cat-eye shades, red shades, green shades, you name it. Looking at the maps, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Kendall handing the vendor some cash in return for a funky pair of sunglasses. 

“Try these,” he handed her square frames tinted purple and blue. 

She put them on and pulled her hair out of her face. 

“How do I look?” 

“Phenomenal.” Kendal gave her a thumbs up. “Keep them, they're yours.” 

“Wait– Really?” Ronnie pulled them off. “You bought them– I couldn’t–” 

“Keep them,” Kendall repeated. He stopped her from handing them back to him. 

“Thanks…” 

The two walked down the boardwalk at Venice Beach, weaving through crowds and mostly ignoring the sun beating down. Kendall was used to it at this point, but Ronnie wasn’t. He kept looking over at her, worried she’d sweat herself into a puddle of goo. Or the sun might melt her into multi-colored mush. She was peculiar. She was always wearing that yellow hoodie of hers. He rarely saw her without it other than when she fell in the pool and at Lucy’s Halloween party. He wouldn’t be surprised if it fused with her skin. Although Ronnie had a tough exterior, she was fun to hang out with. 

It wasn’t that Kendall hated his friends or wished he had better ones, but there was something different about hanging out with her. Sometimes, he was afraid to admit that James, Carlos, and Logan were too much. There was always something going on with them. When Jo broke up with him, he couldn’t strictly focus on being heartbroken because his friends had decided to get a temporary relationship and then break up with him to understand how he felt. It was heartfelt but resulted in Kendall and Logan having to make James and Carlos feel better. Sure, it took his mind off of Jo for a little while, but by the end of the day, he had been reminded of his heartbreak. For now, he’d been keeping his thoughts and feelings tucked inside. He knew his friends meant well, but he didn’t want to have to deal with fixing their heartache again. Of course, he should have figured they would go and do something stupid to relate to how he was feeling. 

A man on roller skates came by playing guitar. Ronnie’s eyes lit up, and she engaged the man in a lively conversation. Sure, Kendall played guitar, but he felt like an outlier in their discussion. He liked the way her face lit up when she was happy. It reminded him of James whenever his friend received a new beauty product in the mail. It was nice seeing her out of her comfort zone. She looked different without the permanent scowl or the angry look in her eyes. He took a picture of her on his phone without saying anything else. The lighting was perfect, and she looked so happy. This was a memory he wanted to capture. In the background, there was a paparazzi van. Looking up from his phone, he froze. 

“Ronnie.” She hadn’t stopped walking. 

“Ronnie.” Maybe she didn’t hear him. 

“Ronnie– We have to go!” Kendall grabbed her by her arm, and she let out a yelp. Not only did that alarm the people around them, but it also alarmed those wearing all-black clothing. 

“What are you doing? I was just–” 

“No time. We have to get out of here.” 

“But we have–” 

“No time. Let’s go.” 

Ronnie didn’t argue. The man on roller skates had already disappeared into the crowd. She helped him with the song he was working on, and in turn, it struck inspiration for her. The only problem was that she didn’t have her notebook. It was in the car. She didn’t want to stick around and find out what made Kendall so antsy. She tripped over her feet as he led her back into the car. He was acting strange. Did he not want to be seen with her? Was he embarrassed to be seen with her? She probably shouldn’t take it so personally, but it wasn’t like he would give her an explanation. 

“Something about the sunshine, baby. I’m seeing you in a whole new light.”

“L.A.s a breeze with the palm trees swaying, oh, it’s so right.” 

The Hollywood Walk of Fame was the next stop on their sightseeing tour, Something James had begged Kendall to take him to. James wouldn’t stop talking about how his name would be there one day. He was aiming for the stars… that people walk on. People also put their hands on the handprints, but they were part of the sidewalk, so people mainly walked on them. In Kendall’s eyes, they weren’t that great. Acclaimed actors and actresses got their names on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but he didn’t see it as glamorous. 

When the crowd cleared and people walked away, Ronnie bent down at Christina Auguliera’s star. Like everyone, she put her hands on the handprints. Not exactly. Instead of putting her bare palms to the stone, she pulled her sweatshirt sleeves over her hands and pressed them down. It was strange and caught Kendall off guard, but he scrambled for his phone to take a picture. She looked cute, smiling up at him. He would have taken a few more photos if not for the fear that the paparazzi would find him and ruin his fun. 

“Hey, look.” Ronnie pointed to the billboard across the street. 

It was an advertisement for Big Time Rush’s first album. She had to admit it was a pretty good album, and Gustavo knew how to write music well. Of course, she was his protege and couldn’t say many negative things about him. Gustavo Rocque was the master, but she was a simple padawan studying his craft. One day, she would get to his level. One day, she would be famous for the music she writes and could maybe even sing it if she was confident enough. Addison and Callie always said she had an incredible voice, but having never taken singing lessons, she was pretty sure they were just saying that to be nice. 

“What a perfect day,” 

Ronnie barely folded the map as she looked out the window. She could see nothing but grassy hills for miles. The car was humming down the main stretch of road with no other vehicles in sight. It was actually a perfect day. She wouldn’t admit out loud that she had fun walking around and taking pictures, even though Kendall mainly took photos on his phone. The car turned a corner, and suddenly, three black cars appeared in the rearview mirror. 

“Not anymore.” Kendall frowned and looked over his shoulder. “God…” 

“Is that– Are they the paparazzi?” Ronnie turned and looked over her shoulder. “Why are they following us? Have they been following us all day?” 

“I don’t know. How do I lose them?” 

Ronnie opened the map. It took up a good chunk of space on her side. It was upside down, but she wasn’t thinking about that. Moving her finger along the roads, she had no idea where they were, but all she could hope was that the map was correct. 

“Take a left here,” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” Ronnie glanced over her shoulder again. The black vans with tinted windows were genuinely intimidating. 

The car turned, and the vans still followed. The songwriter looked back at the map again and then looked around. Kendall swore the hubcap fell off one of the wheels as the road switched from cement to dirt. Nothing but foliage surrounded them, and it almost looked as though they were driving on a firebreak. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at the map. 

“Okay, if you take your next left, the road loops back to the highway…” Ronnie turned the map once she realized it was upside down. “Or… maybe not.” 

The wheels kicked up dirt. 

“This isn’t even a road anymore. This is a firebreak. It has to be.” 

“Just keep driving.” 

After driving for a while, they passed a yellow sign. Kendall turned his head to get a better look at it, his eyes wide. They were utterly lost, and Ronnie couldn’t admit she was a horrible navigator. 

“That sign back there said ‘Deer crossing.’ There are no deer.” 

“You complain more than Addison.” 

“Are we on the right road or not?” Kendall groaned and turned to look at the map. 

“We are! I think…” 

“You think?” 

“Keep your eyes on the road!”

The car was starting to veer to the right. Even though no other vehicles were on the road, it was still essential to maintain safe driving. 

“Look, I’m the navigator.” Ronnie sighed and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. 

“Oh, is that what you call it?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Means you’re a know-it-all.” 

“What?” Ronnie gaped at him. The map crumpled slightly in her hands. 

“A know-it-all!” Kendall repeated. “God, you are the queen of snap judgments.” 

The car came to a stop, and neither of them noticed. 

“‘Turn here! This is the right road, I’m sure of it!’” Kendall mocked her in a high-pitched squeaky voice, taking a hand off the wheel. 

“I was sure of it!” Ronnie huffed and peered at the map again. Then she looked out the window and saw the car wasn’t moving. 

“You’re sure. You’re so sure of things you couldn’t be sure about.” 

“I am not.” 

“And you’re defensive.” Kendall shot back. 

“Move the car! We’re not moving.” Ronnie groaned and massaged her temples. “God, you’re such a child…” She muttered to herself. 

Kendall looked ahead and then down at the pedals. He pressed on the gas, and the car roared to life, but the pedals were stuck. The wheels made an ugly slurp sound as they turned. Looking out the window, his eyes widened when he looked down. The car was in some sort of mud or quicksand. Ronnie leaned out the check window, and the vehicle suddenly jolted as it began to sink. She screamed at the sudden movement and quickly tried to unbuckle her seatbelt. 

“Let’s get out and push.” Kendall was surprisingly calm on the outside, even though he was also panicking on the inside. He unbuckled his seat belt, and they both moved to get on the car's roof. 

“Let me help you,” Kendall extended his hand to her, but she batted it away. 

“Don’t touch me!” 

“Why are you so mad?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. This.” Ronnie gestured to the rental car, slowly sinking into either mud or quicksand. 

“Turning onto this road was not my idea.” Kendall rolled his eyes. He helped her up even though she didn’t want him to. 

“You’re blaming me?” 

“Yeah, you’re a terrible navigator!” He snapped at her. 

“You’re a terrible driver!” 

“Hey, I’m a great driver.” The blonde held a finger up to stop her, staring down at her with a wave of anger flickering in his eyes. 

“Right.” Ronnie threw her hands up and laughed. “Because you didn’t get us into this mess!” 

“No, this is your fault! You had the map!” 

The car moved again, and Ronnie grabbed his arm for stabilization. The last thing she wanted to do was fall in the mud and get her clothes ruined or sink into the mud with the car and suffocate to death. She had a feeling he would leave her there to die. 

“Ronnie, we’re gonna have to jump.” 

“I am not jumping.” Ronnie rolled her sleeves up and looked around for something to get them out of this mess. 

“Got a better idea?” 

Ronnie’s eyes lit up as a metaphorical lightbulb turned on in her head. “Use the branch as a bridge!” 

Kendall moved toward the branch but turned back to her, momentarily questioning her sanity. The branch did not look like it would hold their combined weight, but he could only pray it did. He moved to the car's hood and reached his leg over hesitantly. The vehicle made noises as it sunk into the mud. The inside of the car began to fill with muddy water. The singer was safe on the branch, but Ronnie hesitated to move. She slipped while trying to get to the branch. 

“This was my mom’s rental!” Kendall whined. 

“I understand that. Just give me your hand.” Ronnie’s arm shot out, and she grabbed the fabric of his shirt. 

She teetered off balance, and in the blink of an eye, part of the branch snapped, sending them into the disgusting muddy-brown water filled with leaves and other things neither wanted to think about. Kendall pulled them both out as the car finally sunk under the surface. They watched the mud in the water swirl around from the open window—the watery pit kind of burped as it took the car. 

“Excuse you.” 

“Shit, my mom is gonna kill me…” Kendall ran his gross, muddy hands down his face, then sputtered in disgust, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. 

“My bag!” Ronnie dropped to her knees and stuck her arms in, searching for the rucksack she brought to Rocque Records that morning. “I’m dead. I’m dead.” The songwriter was frantic as she tried to search for it by touch. Not only was her notebook in her bag but her phone and her keys to the apartment. 

“Don’t just stand there! Help me!” The liquid coated her sweatshirt, turning the vibrant yellow a disgusting color. But it wasn’t as if their clothes weren’t already soaked from falling in. 

“Come here, give me your hand.” Kendall took hold of her arm as she reached in further, looking for her rucksack. His phone rang in his pocket. 

“I’m gonna die. That’s what's going to happen ‘cause my dad is going to kill me.” She complained as she felt around aimlessly. “Why did I have to get in that stupid car with you?” She groaned. 

“Answer your phone!” 

“Okay. Sorry.” Kendall let her go, and she fell face-first into the disgusting water. He fished around in his pocket for his phone; it was a miracle it didn’t stop working when he fell in. 

“Mom?” He pressed his phone against his ear. The other end was garbled static, barely resembling a voice. He pulled it away from his face to check if he answered the call. 

“Mom, there’s no signal. Can you hear me?” Nothing came in from the other end. “Hello?” He rechecked the cell signal and ended the call. It was useless if they couldn’t hear each other. 

He turned back to Ronnie, who finally pulled her bag out of the water. It was dripping dirty brown water and quite heavy. 

“Look at this!” She shot him a look. The shoulder strap squelched as she put it over her shoulder. “When we return, you’re paying for a new one.” 

“I’m paying for it right now.” Kendall furrowed his brows. Why did she have to be such a bitch? 

Ronnie turned and walked away in the wrong direction. Unaware, she had no idea where she was going. Kendall sighed and shoved his phone in his pocket. 

“Beach is that way.” He pointed in the opposite direction. 

She accepted she was wrong and turned to walk in the right direction, shouldering past him. On the bright side, their clothes would dry faster this way. Kendall caught up with her pretty quickly and was mildly irritated. Without a car, the only option was to walk for who knows how long. Neither knew where they were, and Kendall could only hope he was right about where the beach would be. For a while, they walked in silence. Ronnie’s anger was stewing, and Kendall was trying hard not to give her a piece of his mind. She had been pleasant all day but suddenly turned into a raging asshole. Kendall took a deep breath before he flew off the handle. 

For him, the silence was uncomfortable and suffocating. 

“I’m sorry, okay.” 

“Now you’re going to apologize?” Ronnie said snarkily. 

“I meant to apologize before.” 

“Then maybe you should have apologized then.” 

“What is your problem?” Kendall scoffed and walked ahead of her, turning around so he could walk backward and face her. 

“I don’t have a problem. I just wanna get back to the Palm Woods and shower to eliminate all this dirt and grime!” Ronnie glared daggers at him. 

“You know what? I wanted to take you out and have a nice day that wouldn’t end with us yelling at each other. Why do you hate me so much? Everybody loves me!” 

And there’s his arrogance. He turned and started walking away. 

“What? So that’s what it’s like with you?” Ronnie raised a brow. “You can’t handle someone disliking you, so you bitch and moan about it and then walk away? That’s charming. I bet your friends chase after you when you do that.” 

They both stopped walking. Kendall tensed up, hands balling into fists at his sides. A muscle in his jaw twitched. 

“Oh, Kendall, I’m so sorry I hurt your delicate little feelings. Kendall, forgive me for not treating you like the big, enormous star you think you are.” Ronnie mocked, batting her eyelashes and faking a pout. “What a brat.” She said under her breath.

Kendall turned on his heel and walked towards her, quickly closing the gap. He was pissed. It was written on his face. 

“I’m a brat? I’m a brat? What about you, huh?” He jabbed a finger in her face. 

“Me?” She stared at him in shock. 

“Yeah,” Kendall sneered. “For the last week, you’ve done nothing but whine about how I haven’t treated you right or that I haven’t been nice to you. I saved you when you almost drowned because you couldn’t fucking swim.” 

She narrowed her eyes but remained silent. She didn’t have anything to say to that because he was right. Ronnie didn’t know how to swim, and he did save her. Then, a thought popped into her head. 

“What? So, treating me like an emotional punching bag was just something nice to do? I pity your friends.” 

“You wish you were one.” 

Ronnie stepped closer, getting in his face. 

“I’d rather go down with the rental car.” She shouldered past him and walked away again. 

“Okay, I’m confused about something.” Kendall popped in front of her again, walking backward to talk face-to-face. 

“What?” Ronnie groaned and rolled her eyes. She was about five seconds away from punching him. 

“When we were on our little photography tour, I thought you liked me.” He looked so sincere, like a kicked puppy. For a second, Ronnie almost regretted yelling at him. 

“You thought wrong.” Her gaze hardened. 

“Why? Why don’t you like me?” 

“Because you think everyone likes you and that they should like you regardless of how you approach others.” 

“It’s ‘cause I’m likable.” 

“No, because you’re a star.” She laughed in his face. 

“What does that mean?” 

“You don’t even see it, do you?” Ronnie slowed her pace. He was genuinely confused, and it was laughable. “Your life isn’t real. Your house is practically a hotel. You have people waiting on you hand and foot. I mean, real people date someone because they want to be with them. Why were you with Jo?” 

“I– Well– I liked her– She’s nice–” Kendall stammered, floundering for a solid answer. She put him on the spot, and he was going belly up. 

“That’s all I’m saying.” Ronnie sighed. 

It wasn’t long until they found a lake. Kendall fell in first by accident, then he grabbed onto Ronnie’s sweatshirt and pulled her in. They both needed to cool off before the argument got even more heated. The lake was most likely secluded by nature, and it was scenic. A dip in the lake didn’t eliminate all the dirt and grim but they were relatively cleaner. Of course, when they get back to the Palm Woods they’d have to take a shower. But this was sufficient, for now. 

In a way it was like time didn’t exist. Ronnie sat on a log, her sweatshirt and rucksack hanging on the branch of a nearby tree. The wind tousled her hair slightly. She closed her eyes and sighed. Kendall sat in the grass. Their clothes were mostly dry. They had sat there that long. By the lake side, it was quiet and peaceful. No one could disturb them or interrupt them. And certainly no paparazzi. 

“This is kind of nice.” Kendall leaned back in the grass with his hands behind his head. 

“Yeah, it’s giving me the idea for a song.” 

“What about?” 

“A perfect date, or day. I’ll decide when we get back.” Here, with Kendall, she didn’t have the instinct to cover her arms. She wasn’t embarrassed or uncomfortable. Typically, she didn’t like being without her sweatshirt but there was something different about sitting in the sun with him. 

“I wish we could stay here.” 

“Why?” 

“Because everything goes so fast. It’s calm and quiet. For once, I feel grounded in the moment. I don’t have to put on an act or pretend I’m anything I’m not.” 

“I doubt people would hate you if you started acting like who you want to be.” 

“I don’t know, I never tried it. My friends think I’m the strong leader with nerves of steel, Gustavo thinks I’m the perfect ‘bad boy’ for the band, and my mom…” 

“Your mom would love you regardless.” 

“Sometimes I think she wishes I was better, you know. That I didn’t get into fights as often, or maybe wanted me to pursue something other than hockey.” 

“Okay, then what do you think?” 

“About what?” 

“When you start suppressing who you really are, it takes a toll on people.” She got up from the log and walked over to him. 

“I’ll be fine. I don’t have a choice.” 

“No, I think you do. But it’s your choice to make, not anyone else's.” She sat beside him in the grass and picked at the grass blades. 

“I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.” 

“Maybe… I don’t understand.” Ronnie pulled at the grass blades, twisting them in her fingers. 

“What?” Kendall propped himself up on his elbows. 

“Your life. You’re already so well-adjusted to the Hollywood scene. I can hardly imagine what that can be like. All this growing pressure to be something amazing.” 

“Right now, I don’t feel pressured to be anything. I can let go and be myself with you,” 

Ronnie snorted and shoved him playfully. 

“How do you like it?” 

“I like it a lot.” 

“Me too,” 

“So,” Kendall sat upright and faced her. This look in his eyes. “Tell me something about you,” 

“That could take a while. I live a fascinating life.” Ronnie joked. 

He laughed with her, his eyes filled with warmth and tenderness. She squirmed under his gaze and looked away. Eye contact made her feel weird. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” 

“Like what?” Confusion flashed across his features. Up close, he had a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. 

“That thing… With your eyes.” 

To be funny, Kendall crossed his eyes and made a face. Ronnie snorted and held a hand over her mouth. 

“Comedy, not your next big career move.” 

“What? No, I’m funny.” 

“Yeah, funny looking.” She shoved him playfully. 

The songwriter got up and ruined the second little moment they were going to have. Gripping her hoodie and bag off the branch, she took a deep breath to try to calm herself. She didn’t like him. He was still kind of an asshole but more so misunderstood than anything. But she had to stay firm on her stance. Just because they got all heartfelt and mushy didn’t mean they would end up falling in love. Kendall frowned and hopped to his feet, following her. 

“Yeah, we should– We should go. Your dad would kill me if he couldn’t find you,” 

“Right, she cleared her throat. 

When they returned to Palm Woods, it was nearly sunset. Their feet ached, and they were both relatively hungry. James and Carlos were playing obnoxious music by the pool area. Kendall split off from her to check out what new idiotic plan they were implementing. Ronnie pulled out her phone, and it surprisingly worked. It was weirdly durable. Her lock screen lit up with missed messages from an unknown number and Callie, Addison, Camille, and Mercedes. She scrolled through while waiting for the elevator to arrive on her floor. 

Hey, Mercedes said I should stop by Rocque Records and meet with you in person. I can’t wait to find out who you are, Ronnie. ;)

[leox-un]

yo! im the anon from awhile ago that was asking about your swap design. i did end up making that fic, in the end. quality is up to the eye of the beholder, but you deserve to see the monster you spawned either way

it's lovingly titled "idk man it's just a swap au" by 4dancingsharks on ao3. about 10k words across both of its 2 chapters

i hope you enjoy, even if you dont usually read fic. i also did mutilate your design a little in my excitement, so i'm sorry. i just think it's VERY cool

but yea <3

OOAA hihi !!!! i have read the fic and that was really good aghfhsgaj!!!!!! the characterization of vash was so good,,,,,, i really loved the descriptions of his expressions, they really get at the fact that hes not exactly a pure supervillain lmao; also tbh i really liked the change of his coat color to black, i may adopt that into the design tbh, cuz it makes a lot of sense,,,, also the thorn tendril things are so??? cool ????? your writing is rlly descriptive, i rlly enjoyed it! also loved that it was all from ww's perspective (srry my compliments are kinda just "i loved that!" i have -5 vocabulary)

ik in the notes you said chapter 3 was giving you trouble so you may not post it but i would love to see it if you do!! even if it takes a while dont hesitate to reach out if you do post it because i dont have ao3 so i wont get any updates on it if you do rip 💔

wanted to include the link if anyone was interested in it hehe ^^

[bisexualdinahlance]

can you explain the Casey McQuiston thing a little further? I'm pretty brand new to the rwrb fandom and not familiar

There's been rumors for years in the RWRB fandom and outside of it that Casey McQuinston used to be on tumblr and was a fic writer for the Social Network/Social Network RPF fandom. Further, there was a lot of rumors that RWRB was SN RPF with the serial numbers filed off. The original tumblr account people say was Casey I'm pretty sure is either gone or dead now, and the fanfic author that people say they are took down their fics years ago. It's very possible that that person was Casey, but like without them fessing up there's no way to know for sure.

Someone on Youtube did a whole video essay deep dive into investigating the accounts, and even read the fic people claim RWRB is based on. The conclusion the video essayist came to was that she thought the author was Casey but that the fic was nothing like RWRB. (Which of course it wasn't lmao, the intro to the book literally talks about how they wrote it during and after the 2016 election - several years after the fics were deleted.) There's a good chance she's right, but while some of the reasoning is good, one of the reasons was literally that both authors "inserted their media opinions superfluously" into the story that broke their immersion because both authors made fun of "blonde women [the video essayist] liked" lol. So I take the conclusion with a grain of salt even if the investigation work was good.

Anyone who has read the book I'm sure can tell that Casey probably wrote fanfiction, but it's pretty clear to me that it's not lol. It just has tropes and dynamics that are popular in fandom spaces, as well as some specific turns of phrases. Which isn't a bad thing lol, RWRB is my guilty pleasure fave, I adore it even if it feels a bit lib in the current political climate.

I doubt that Casey ever saw the rumors - for a while it was mostly just snarky tumblr or reddit comments that brought it up to prove moral superiority over not liking the book. But it's still frustrating to me that like an author is essentially being haunted reputationally by fanfic they might or might not have written as a teenager/college student. Even the fanlore page for the book is completely overtaken by people speculating that it's a fanfiction. I would be PISSED if I got published, and everyone claimed my books were Harry Potter fanfiction because I used to be in the HP fandom in high school and college. And then spread around old fanfiction that I deleted off the internet because I got made fun of for how bad the smut was.

(Part of the "proof" that some people used as to the original fic being RWRB was it was deleted off of LJ but the fanlore page on the actual fic speculates it's because the author was getting bitchy messages about the quality of the smut in the fic.)

Anyway, sorry this wasn't super... coherent I have a lot of opinions on the subject. the TL;DR is that Casey might have been a BNF in the Social Network fandom, and because of that people speculated that they turned one of their SNRPF's into RWRB. It's pretty clear that they didn't do that, but these rumors have haunted the fandom for years because people keep spreading them like they're fact.

And I think authors should be allowed to keep their fandom separate from their professional work exactly because of shit like this lol.

[tofutortoise]

My Experience at The Tempest (少年社中) + Meeting Imata Taira!!

On Monday I saw Shonen Shachu’s 25th anniversary production of The Tempest in Tokyo! Overall, I had an amazing experience, and even got to meet IMATA TAIRA HIMSELF!!! And speak to him, which was unreal. Details below, but also spoilers for the play! 

First off, I got my ticket through the lottery system, and somehow I ended up with a fantastic seat on the first floor! I haven’t had great luck with random seats in the past, but this time I sure did. It was a pretty small theater with excellent acoustics. The set was minimal but well utilized. I was really excited about the costumes after seeing all the glittering visuals on the official website (see here), but for some reason, the actual costumes they wore for the play were completely different and noticeably lower quality. I was particularly disappointed that the women’s costumes had major downgrades. On the bright side, Hiroshi Yazaki (playing Kagura/Prospero) got an even better costume than the one he wears in the official posters. He looked like a prince! 

As for the story, I can’t say I was the biggest fan. However, this is probably on me more than the production lmao. Because it’s called The Tempest, I assumed that this would simply be a production of Shakespeare’s The Tempest. However, as I quickly realized while watching the show and growing ever more confused, this is not the case!! It’s actually an original show about a theater group dealing with the loss of one of their members, reckoning with what it means to be an actor and bringing happiness to people, following their love for acting, etc., all while they put on a production of The Tempest. Scenes from Shakespeare’s Tempest are therefore interwoven into the play, and sometimes I admit I had a hard time understanding what was going on (the many time skips/flashbacks didn’t help on this point lol). Honestly I should have read the plot synopsis ahead of time, but because I assumed it was just the basic Tempest I didn’t bother– oops. 

There were points where I was quite invested and moved, but overall I wouldn’t say the flow of the story was particularly great. However, my experience was also limited by my intermediate Japanese, and I’m sure a lot of it went over my head. 

I think all of the actors did an amazing job! Imata Taira was definitely a highlight, and he portrayed a very troubled, grieving, angry character with artfulness and incredible intensity. Seeing him, along with Yazaki and Shogo in person, was absolutely unreal. As a long time Hakuouki fan, going from first seeing them on my computer in Hakumyu 8 years ago to watching them in person in Japan is a dream come true. 

Now, let’s get to the most exciting part– I MET IMATA TAIRA!!! AND SPOKE TO HIM!!!! AHHH! Basically after the show there was a special line where you could go to buy a piece of merch and talk to Taira for a moment. I had no idea they would be doing this so I hadn’t prepared anything to say to him, and I was SO nervous!! Turns out I needn’t have worried though, because Taira is such a lovely person and it was a great interaction. First of all, when the person in front of me moved on and I stepped up, Taira’s eyes went comically wide and he let out a gasp. I was expecting some level of surprise because I was a foreigner (blue eyes, red hair, etc.) at a completely Japanese play, but he was seriously taken aback. I spoke to him entirely in Japanese, of course, and thanked him for a wonderful performance, but he was just kinda scrambling for words and saying stuff like “Ah I’m so sorry I don’t know English!!”. He was so sweet and even bowed and put his head to the table and apologized for not knowing English T-T. I told him that even though my Japanese isn’t great, the power of theater is such that you don’t need to understand the words to be moved, and he thanked me again and even gave me his best “thank you!” in English too! He was so incredibly kind and genuine, and I found his reaction to be hilarious. It seemed like he was just as nervous to speak to me as I was to speak to him! Absolutely amazing experience!!!! The whole thing still feels absolutely unreal to me. I never thought I would have the opportunity to actually speak to one of the actors who has meant so much to me over the years. What a wonderful way to start off 2024 :) 

If anyone wants to chat about the play or has any questions about seeing it, feel free to PM anytime!

[growling]

Ooo tell me more about these gore sites n whatever

yayayayayay :33 well just a few of them that I feel like I can explain somewhat, I have failed to stick to sites only and now just dumping all my cursed knowledge on every kind of shock site/image/video (none shown or linked obviously lmao) also as yall can probably tell: cw for like, general descriptions of shock stuff like gore or just things that are gross/unsanitary:

K-Fee commercial(s) - a series of coffee commercials that aired a while ago, i think the 90s or somewhere around then. So you know like, that veryyyyy popular screamer with the car road or something? So that was actually from this series, and there are multiple more but it's just that one which is most well known. I think they actually got taken down some time later after airing and I mean I'm not surprised there's gonna be like at least a few people got heart attacks for that. Like.. Yeah

The "Unholy Trinity" aka. TubgirI, Lemon Party & Goats e (last one without space i dont want to summon anyone lmao) - three most popular/infamous shock pictures that got passed around on the internets in the fucked up evil 2000s-or-so, basically any shocksite that exists no matter the quality like, has to have at least one of these on their site (up there with the Jeff the Killer flashing jumpscare or that Anne(?) image from the horror movie, but those are like, used as screamers and not just still images), they're like the shock image starter pokemon you get me right. A brief(??) description of these: TubgirI (cw for uh, enemas?) is an image of a woman sitting in a tub with her legs spread, and a mask (according to some, not gonna fact check sorry i value myself) on her face, and what looks to be the aftermath of an enema cascading out her ass and on her face. And like, I'm trying to be grossed out but the way everyone describes it just makes it look like some kinda abstract album cover like whoever photographed this must have really cared about the composition anyway uh Goats e (cw for. ass insides????) is an image of a dude presenting for a lack of better term, and using both his hands he kinda pulls/opens up his asshole from the sides to a point where you can see the inside of it. Lemon Party is literally just an image of three old men going at it. Yes that is all it's just three old men fucking. Probably got considered "shocking" by the net because homophobia and oldmanphobia i guess. Meatspin also got the similiar treatment because it had a trans woman(?) in it

1 Man 1 Jar - that one's a video and also somewhat of a classic just like the aforementioned three. Basically, there's this guy who really likes putting things up his urethra/ass, but he's more into extreme things than anything really safe, and there are multiple videos other than that one, where something just, uh, goes wrong while he's doing it. He also had a wife and a child(?) but he kept it a secret from them. Anyway 1 Man 1 Jar is contains him standing over a glass jar and then proceeding to put the whole thing inside (he apparently did that/or similiar things with glass before then but it went as fine as it could before), but the glass does what glass does and breaks, immediately after blood starts just gushing out and there's a LOT of it. The Guy just calmly starts getting the pieces out, doesn't even scream or anything, just doesn't have a reaction to that. After the whole ordeal (outside the video) he said he has patched it up himself and went to work the next day hiding the injury from everyone else (he was fine). He didn't go to the hospital because he didn't want anyone to know about what he's been doing and I honestly just feel bad for him at this point

Agor.io - soooo, you know how I mentioned earlier that it was like, when you wanted to make a site that's a screamer very often the jumpscare itself will be like, that one Anne(?) image or realistic Jeff the Killer? So yeah, they'd also typically, to make it (Jeff) scarier, they'd put up scream sounds in the background and a whole lot of flashing on the image/gif itself. The site agor.io had the jumpscare in it that is just like how I described, and it is named (and kinda modeled after) like that in order to trick people who made a typo trying to go on agar.io (that one circle game) instead. One day, a woman wrote a reddit post asking for help or explanation for that on some, I assume, that one law focused subreddit? saying that her young son, who's got epilepsy or some other condition that causes seizures can't really remember, found out about the game agar.io from school when his friends played it. When he went to home, he tried to play it there too, however, made a typo. And then had a severe seizure and landed in the hospital, he was still in the hospital as his mother made the post, and she was looking into taking whoever made the site into court over it. The site actually did get taken down a few days after, but we don't know if it's because the law got involved and they (person who made the site) were forced to, or if they saw the post and got scared and deleted it immediately to avoid that.

Encyclopedia Dramatica, particularily the page "Offended" - Encyclopedia Dramatica was basically like, a satire version of Wikipedia, wackpedion reference. Except unlike other pages that have a similiar premise, Encyclopedia Dramatica's humor and wit was basically just racism slurs gore and whatever's the edgiest and literally nothing else. Anyway the page "Offended"/"Are You Offended?" (people provide different titles) was apparently frequently linked to people who were, well, offended. There are two differing descriptions of the page's content itself, them being: 1. that its a gallery, that starts out with cute animal pictures, but as you scroll down it quickly becomes progressively more disturbing, containing gore like injuries, bloody corpses, some with animals, crime scene footage, you name it. 2. That the content is the same, but instead of starting off innocent, the gallery is just gore. Not gonna check which is the true version.

EeI Soup - [long sigh] ok so there's two girls. a container of baby eels. girl 1 starts bending over. there's a funnel

Mr. Hands - (cw for beastiality) so the story behind it is fucking wild and I won't get into it because word limit and I don't remember. But there was this one guy who was part of a beastiality sex tape ring, and he really liked horses. It's a video of him and a few of his friends sneaking(?) into a ranch and he does things that beastialists typically do. With a stallion. It goes wrong. His internal organs get fucking destroyed during the act and he dies. And his buddies didn't even help him or anything just ran away. Also the aforementioned Guy had ties to like, numerous other infamous beastialists & zoosadists I believe he appeared on the Zooey podcast or one of the guys he knew did?? Anyway nearly all of them are connected in some way

1 4 4 4 (without spaces) - a video on youtube with that title that got since taken down but not after a few entire days. It showed Ron.nie Mc.nutt (censored cause i don't wanna summon anyone) dying via suicide. A lot of videos (especially on tiktok, disguised as a regular compilation or a dance and the suddenly cutting to that) liked to show that one back then. Like, a lot. Apparently that was a calculated test attack by some group from over at the dark web, which sounds crazy but there's like, concrete proof for that, apparently?? So yeah anyway

(hit word limit gotta do a line break)

Ogrish/Liveleak - most people probably know what liveleak is at this point, basically it was that really popular site where like uncensored news clips got posted but also a lot of gore and just videos of people dying and getting tortured or whatever you name it. Ogrish was actually the same as Liveleak made by the same people but like, the older version.

Rotten.com - i just feel like I HAVE to mention that one but I have like unfortunately zero info on that aside from like.. very old and (in)famous site, one of the first ones with that content, where its just a bunch of pictures of corpses or whatever. anyway its not up anymore. i think.

Run the Gauntlet - basically an internet challenge that is also a site. So basically, there is 20 videos that play categorized by difficulty (probably wrong the further i go but i think its like: beginner, easy, medium, hard, extreme?), and if you can watch every one of them up until the end without looking away, then you win the challenge and as a reward get absolutely nothing. you can pause/opt out of it anytime you want which is nice i guess. the videos are essentially, just, shock and gore that progressively get worse. for example, the very first video, in the beginner level, is two women arm-wrestling until one of them breaks their arm and you can see the bone poke out. then theres like, maggot stuff, some teenager falls while diving into water(?) and lands on something else and i think impales(?) himself, there's like, nature documentary level stuff with animals that isnt that bad like right after and right before some another gore, there's fake accidents, disturbing movie scenes etc etc etc so not just gore but like, mostly. The very last video is 3 guys 1 hammer, widely regarded as "the worst video on the internet", which without getting into too much detail, is two ukrainian(?) serial killers from some time back who liked to record themselves murdering people, and in this one its a man getting very brutally killed by them with hammers. So anyway actually a few videos on there got either shuffled, or deleted and replaced with others - originally there was a few involving children, but all of them got removed. There is a big discussion on the ethicality of gore videos but if there is something that most people can agree with is that maybe at least leave kids out of this. Anyway so thats that

Kek maga (without the space. i dont want to summon anyone lmaooo) - ok so the creator of the site made a fucking villain monologue one time even. Anyway its a small site with various gore videos that exists purely to scare the living shit out of people that accidentially clicked on anything on it. I thiiink there's like, first a starter page that says nothing(?) else other than "only proceed if youre above 18" and an enter sign that if you click it basically a lot of images and videos of well. gore. start flashing and it think theres like, screaming in the background of it its practically designed in a way to be THE most stressful experience in your life. You can leave but before the pages closes for real you get a box saying "are you sure you want to leave youll lose all your progress if you do :)))))))" and you gotta click yes on that too before you actually can leave so. that is cool. Oh I nearly forgot the maker of that site named it kekmaga because its got maga in it and he wanted to lure older conservative people to it cause they dont know how computers work or something

Nim p (anti-summon space) - similiar to kek-ma but no one talks about it. A lot of youtubers back in the day got linked that page which meant that they "got nimped" which we would consider very rude by todays standards but anyway. Its a page thats just screaming and gore and shock and yadayadayada except its all in like, these boxes(?) that just start appearing and dissapearing and flying around your screen and its WAYYYYY harder to actually close like you gotta really lock in in order to stop having to look at people dying

Women's Alliance - made by the same guy that brought us the maga bait. It is a site that disguises itself as like, a feminist forum for women and female empowerment or something like you know. Before you enter theres of course the starter page which says something along the lines of "the subjects on here may be a bit sensitive and mature so only proceed if ur above 18!!" and then an enter sign that you click. Except its not a feminist forum its actually a site with images of gore flashing on it. Except its got a twist this time and now its exclusively, misogynistic violence like women getting beaten, killed, pictures of their dead bodies, probably also some rape videos too i got no proof for the last one but like, i just know it like why wouldn't it have that too at this point.

That is all you have got your knowledge wiki.......... uhhh how long was this ask in my inbox/drafts at this point

[noahtally-famous]

happy halloween to all who acknowledge it! 🎃

enjoy this random halloween drabble? oneshot? I thought up two days ago lmao since I didn't have enough time to plan out the other shawnpher halloween idea

_______________________________________

potential title: in my defense, you scared me; a shawnpher halloween au

"Happy week of Halloween, wonderful viewers, tuning into my brand new video, hosted by the one and only amazing me, myself, and I!" Topher gestures at himself, turning the phone down so that his viewers can get a full look at his dazzling autumn outfit. "For a treat--or a trick--your one and only Tophman will be going into--" he turns around so that the looming corn maze is in perfect view of the camera. "This! Totally haunted, scary as fuck, maze filled with spooktacular frights that this guy is not going to fall for at all! Pretty swell idea, right?"

Stopping the recording and covering the camera with one hand, he leans to the side and hisses, "this is the worst idea ever."

"You wanted something spooky and cool for your Halloween video," Scarlett replies without looking up from her phone. "This is as spooky and cool as all the Halloween lovers can get."

"But I'm not a Halloween lover," Topher whines. "That maze is, like, ginormous. I could get lost in it! My perfect face can't get lost!"

Scarlett rolls her eyes. "You're the one who agreed to it. Seriously," she casts Topher's phone a disdainful look, "is there anything you won't do for your damn vlog?"

Then, as though she said something truly earth-shattering, she strides toward the maze's entrance where several other people are converged.

Topher aims his famous puppy-eyes to the third person of their little group.

Beardo makes a sympathetic wamp wamp noise before shrugging and ambling after Scarlett.

"Come on, man!" Topher calls. Is his puppy-eyes getting old? Impossible!

Hurrying over to them, he huffs. "Rodney would have had my back one-hundred percent if he were here."

"Which he's not. What a coincidence," Scarlett retorts dryly from the front.

Topher gasps. "What is that supposed to mean?!" He turns to Beardo. "Scarlett's done something to Rods!"

"Fucks sake, no--god, I meant he wouldn't be caught dead hanging around one of these scare-traps."

"Rods wouldn't leave me hanging like that, Brainiac. Something's gotta have happened to him. Did you hire a hitman or someone? My man just won't ditch me during my time of need. Scarlett!"

He's too busy wallowing the extremely important chance of him dying via publicity backlash after getting scared on camera by some crazy guy in a costume that he misses the exasperated look his friends send each other.

"It's just an hour, Prissy, don't get your hair in a knot," Scarlett grumbles. "And you dragged me for this too, so you better not flake."

Because Scarlett can be fucking terrifying when she's glaring like that behind her glasses, and Topher doesn't feel like getting his innards pulled out, he says resignedly, "Yes ma'am."

Dealing with jumpscares in a fucking corn maze while on camera is enough stress.

She gives him another one of her glares-from-hell before turning back to her phone. "Ella wishes you good luck, by the way," she says, poking at the screen--probably typing a hasty response back to the only person she ever replies quickly to: her girlfriend. "Says something about you doing fine and shit." She scoffs.

Beardo snickers.

"Dude!" Topher says, betrayed. That's the second time tonight! Man, he wants Rodney here so badly. He just knows the big guy would have his back.

"Sorry, Toph," Beardo mumbles sheepishly.

Easy for him to say. He's just in it to get quality footage for his and Ella's duo-videostream; he can walk away with a paycheck because apparently some fancy smancy producers like their videos enough to promote them.

Topher really wishes he was famous.

They assemble in front of the maze as the sky grows dark and a chill picks up in the air. Surprisingly, there are a hell lot of people, jostling for room; kids ribbing each other, couples already snuggled up or making out, even people videoing their experience like they're doing. Topher scoffs, watching them from the corner of one eye; their etiquette is so wrong, how do they even have subscribers?

"Why would anyone want to unironically do this shitshow in the first place?" he mutters, pulling his thin fleece-jacket tighter around him.

"For fun?" Beardo offers helpfully.

"Thanks, man. This is totally the classic definition of the word fun."

"Topher," Scarlett says, "what have we talked about the world not revolving around you?"

"That it's bullshit?"

Scarlett rolls her eyes so hard he's impressed she doesn't get a headache. Before she can respond, there's an announcement counting down the seconds before they're free to enter the maze, alongside the usual warnings of there being scary ghouls and flesh-eating monsters ready for tasty victims. The shiver that runs down Topher's back is fully due to the breeze, nothing more.

"Aaaand...three...two...one...scram!" the gravelly voice laughs sinisterly as everyone dashes into the maze. "May the best survive this Halloween night!" Paired with a cliche organ sound effect that Beardo can totally do better.

This whole thing is such a scam, why is he even doing this?

Oh yeah, for the views.

After three or four turns, he starts to hear the screams. He's clutching Beardo's arm before he can think about it. His solace is that Beardo did the same, squeezing him to his chest, his video camera bumping uncomfortably against Topher's spine.

"Simple scare effects, and people being scared of superficial ambushes by people in costumes," Scarlett scoffs, hardly flinching. She gives the two boys an unimpressed look. "Come on, or do you want to hang around here when it really gets dark?"

That gets them scrambling away from one another and hurrying after her.

Several feet later, they reach a crossroads--diverging into three parts. Which Topher thinks is convenient considering there are three of them.

"Split up?" Beardo asks nervously, his voice hardly a whisper.

Scarlett nods decisively. "Seems like it. No objections?"

Topher has plenty of objections, but he doesn't want to seem like the scardey-cat of the bunch; not when his friends are up to the idea. Plus he does need footage for his video.

When no one says anything, Scarlett nods. "Splendid, meet you at the other side." She takes the path to the far left, muttering as she does, "thank goodness Max isn't here, he would have lost his mind and his bowels."

Beardo pats him heavily on the shoulder--like that is supposed to be reassuring!--and takes the one on the far right, leaving Topher with the path at the center.

The dark, winding foresty center-path that...was it that dark five seconds ago? And were the trees really that tall?

Okay, deep breaths, Toph. It's just a silly maze, surrounded by a bunch of silly people in scary costumes ready to give you a heart attack. None of it is actually real so get your head screwed on and do it for the 'gram!

He fumbles for his phone, switching it on to recording as he creeps to the start of the path. Videoing himself helps; it emphasizes the idea that nothing else matters except for him and the screen. No creep can jumpscare him into public humiliation when he's in full record-mode.

"Here we are, amazingly beautiful yous. The dreaded dangerous path of the maze I must take alone. Will I survive? You bet I will! God won't kill off a face this perfect and an ass this gorgeous so soon--" a crunch of leaves "--what was that? I mean, that is nothing I can't handle! Leaves? Pfft! What can a bunch of leaves do to, holy fucking shit!"

He's turning the corner when a large shape leaps at him from behind a particularly large tree.

(Okay, so the shape wasn't really large--actually it was a tad shorter than Topher himself, and more so on the leaner side.)

But when Topher takes one look at the thing's masked face, covered in distorted scratches and horrifying renditions of flesh ripped off its face, all rational thought flies out the window. Scarlett's words of the jumpscarers being people in costumes? No recollection. Especially when something long and silver glints in the sky as the figure raises its arm.

Topher screams, all high-pitched and utterly terrified, flailing and stumbling back. His phone flips out of his hand and he curses himself for it because there's a fucking maniac in front of him about to slash him to ribbons. All he can think is not the face!

Like a godsend, a coherent thought hits him, and he puts to use the few self-defense classes his parents had forced him to take due to being related to popular photogenic people.

One leg kicks out, connecting with something.

The figure goes down with a yell that's drowned by Topher still screaming his head off. Dropping to his knees, he gropes the leaf-strewn ground until--aha!--his hand closes on the familiar shape of his phone.

Adrenaline is the only explanation for how he manages to turn the flashlight setting and shine the light on whoever the fuck had accosted him.

"What. The. Fuck?!" is all that comes out of his mouth.

The guy--because for fuck's sake, obviously, it wasn't a creature from the dead, it was an ordinary guy dressed as one--lay sprawled on the ground, clutching his groin.

Huh, guess those self-defense classes Topher barely listened to did pay off--always go for the face or the groin. The only takeaway he got from the experience.

"Dude!" groans the guy who literally jumpscared him, and he's acting like Topher did something wrong! "What kind of a reaction is that?"

"Um, hello?!" All the fear melts into annoyance. "You're the one who thought leaping at me with a--what the fuck is that thing on your hand?"

"A hook!" The guy displays it--in other words waving it around with too little care to be healthy. Topher leans away from it. "It's a prop! Haven't you been jumpscared before, man?"

Not by lunatics who stay too in character, Topher thinks mutinously, because that dumb reaction was filmed and thank god, this isn't a live stream or he would never have heard the end of it...

Fuck.

"Fuck! My video!"

"What?" asks the guy confusedly, still groaning on the ground and clutching his groin. "I almost got incapacitated in a way I never expected to, and you're worried about your video?"

Topher hardly hears him. He swipes at his screen, brushing aside the dirt and leaves, relieved that the screen isn't cracked, and, yes!, the video was intact too. He hates refilming stuff--and he sure as hell wasn't planning on stepping foot here a second time.

"Okay, everything's safe, we can hold the fire! Now..." he focuses back on the guy who should literally be filed for criminal assault after this fiasco. "What were you saying?"

The guy stares. "I was giving you shit for braining my privates, but I guess your video or whatever was more important than my bits?"

Something about 'braining my privates' sounds off, but Topher had gone through a traumatic event, he isn't about to start analyzing grammar. That's Scarlett's job.

Speaking of Scarlett...

"Dude. Dude, dude, dude, chill the heck out," Topher interrupts whatever tirade the other guy is in the middle of. Ignoring his affronted look, Topher sighs. "Okay fine, sorry or whatever, even though it should be me you should be apologizing to--"

"Me? Apologize to you? That's like a zombie asking politely for some brains!"

Oookay...talk about weird.

But unfortunately, Topher needs this guy. He isn't going to spend another second alone in this blasted maze. Not with his nerves so frayed. Plus he deserves an escort after all this shit.

"Cool, great, awesome, uh, zombie-boy." He holds a hand out. "Now are you willing to listen to me?"

The other guy frowns at him. He shrugs and accepts the hand. His fingers are bigger than Tophers, and rough and calloused--probably from doing this goddamn job and scaring shit out of poor innocents.

Topher hoists him up harder than intended. Yeah, he's got a bit of pettiness in him, but can you blame him?

The guy groans, stumbling a bit, his legs joining together at the knees as he winces. "Damn, for a typical streamer, you sure kick hard."

Wow, this guy is seriously gunning for worst conversationalist ever.

Being the bigger person, Topher doesn't deem that with a response for all of five seconds. Then, to satisfy the itch, while picking at his nails, he corrects, "vlogger, actually. And I'm a very popular one, might I add. You should check out my videos, you'd learn a thing or two. Or several."

The guy blinks, adjusts his beanie. "Uh, what the hell are you talking about?"

Standing next to him, Topher sees that he is right in his initial assumption that the guy is shorter than him. He's got maybe an inch. His off-blue beanie is ruffled with leaves and grime and tilted to one side, exposing wayward brown hair; his face still has that absurd makeup on but some of it has rubbed off from the kerfuffle that Topher can spot a faint scruff and startling hazel-green eyes peering at him through the flesh-ripped artistic rendition. His costume looks generic--vest, sweater, jeans, boots--save for the strategically painted rips and tears and blood on them. When he shifts, his hair nudges the back of his neck, stuck to it with sweat and dirt.

Topher has to admit, scares and annoyances aside, he can acknowledge a solid makeup job. And this guy definitely has it.

Also those eyes. Totally photogenic. His heart beats a little faster--probably still from the adrenaline.

"Hey? Are you listening to me? What're you staring at?" the other guy grumbles, shooting him a suspicious side-eye.

Topher wills his face not to burn. Come on, it's not his fault if a photogenic feature catches his eye--he's been scared to half-death, for gods sake, let him salvage a little familiarity!

"Trying to guess a name to that grime-infested face," he retorts instead.

"Infested?" asks the other guy, wide-eyed.

"Your face, idiot. It's covered in dirt."

The other guy touches a hand to his face as though just realizing it. Topher pointedly clears his throat. The air has turned chillier, he wants to go home and park his ass in front of the fireplace.

“Oh.” The guy looks up. “Shawn.”

Shawn. Finally.

“Topher.”

They don’t shake hands, just eye each other warily.

“Say Shawn,” says Topher conversationally. “How about as compensation for nearly killing me, you get me out of this place?”

“You’re kidding,” Shawn shakes his head incredulously. “You’re the one who kicked me in the nuts. If anyone deserves compensation for anything, it’s me!”

“You’re the one who’s such a shit scarer.”

“You’re the weirdo whose first reaction is to kick someone!”

“Right, I’m the weirdo here.” Topher eyes him skeptically.

“Uh, duh, clearly. You were scared, dude, admit it.”

“Not a chance.”

On cue, a series of maniacal laughter and screams ring the air. Topher jolts.

“Yep, not scared,” snickers Shawn.

Topher flips him off.

But Shawn’s on a roll. “I get that you were scared of my getup—hook-handed ghouls are the perfect type of scare—but those screams? They weren’t even on our path. Damn you do scare easily.”

“Oh, is that what you’re supposed to be?” Topher shoots back. “I was thinking a zombie given how dumb you look—like a pile of rags.”

“A zombie?” Shawn’s eyes open wide. “You’re kidding me, man! The only time I’d willingly pretend to be the undead is when they destroy the world and humanity in it.”

Of course that’s what Shawn fixates on in Topher’s response. And he’s not even going to think about how Shawn had said when. Makes sense that a guy like him is also obsessed with something that’s only in the movies—not that Topher watches those kinds of stuff; thinking about the apocalypse leads him down a troublesome path of lack of hair care products, facial scrubs, and cameras. Talk about drab!

“You’re super mega weird, dude,” he tells him.

Shawn gestures around them, encompassing their entire situation. “No offense, dude, but my concerns are justified. I’m not the guy freaked out by people in costumes.”

For fucks sake.

Honestly, being the stubborn shit he is, Topher could’ve gone on for hours, but at that moment, the light from his phone screen catches his eye and he remembers that he’s still recording. What will his viewers think of him arguing with one of the staff members when they expected a spooky Halloween video?

“Okay whatever, you’re this super stoic guy that Halloween can’t come near to, that’s awesome. Now can you fucking get me out of this maze?”

“Dude, I can’t just leave my job and go with you—“

“Man, you could’ve killed me. I’m pretty sure you’ll be doing those people a favor.”

Shawn frowns, opening his mouth to say something that Topher knows is not a yes Topher I would love to and Topher really doesn’t want to deal with that.

Bribery. People like bribes, right? What can he give in return—something Shawn won’t be able to resist.

“I’ll get you apple cider?” He offers. The only autumn-themed drink he can think of that this place will sell.

Shawn’s expression doesn’t change and Topher resigns himself to a solitary trek in the maze filled with more jumpscares. He tries not to look too disappointed—plays it up for the camera—and rubs his arms as he goes to turn back the way he came when Shawn speaks up.

“That’s the wrong way.”

Topher scowls, turns to face him. “Well the expert isn’t being much help here. Guess I’m gonna have to wither away and die here surrounded by cornstalks. My viewers will hunt you down, mark my words.”

Shawn rolls his eyes, mutters “jeez you’re so dramatic” which Topher is about to take great offense to, if not for what Shawn says next.

“Fried dough too.”

Topher pauses, bewildered. “What?”

“Apple cider and fried dough. This place has the best ones. You should try one too, my recommendation.”

And, well, this is really one of the most absurd situations Topher has ever been in.

But as long as it means getting the hell out of here, he’ll pay for anything Shawn wants. He’ll even give him a shoutout and cameo in his video.

“Fine. Once we’re out, apple cider and fried dough are on me.”

Halfway turned again, he sees Shawn squinting at him.

Oh, what now?

“Are you sure this isn’t a date or something?”

Topher chokes, the cold air burning down his esophagus as he wheezes. Shawn, the bastard, doesn’t even move to help despite being the cause of Topher’s current predicament; only watches in puzzled suspicion.

“What? No of course it’s not! Why are you even—that’s ridiculous—I mean—I don’t—you can’t just say that in front of the camera—“

God, his face feels so red, he sounds deranged. Is he suffering from a stroke?

He should definitely edit this part out.

Shawn watches him for a second longer before nodding. “Cool. ‘Cause all the secrecy was giving me the wrong impression. Kind of an odd first date, eh? That’s what Jasmine would say if she were here.”

Wait.

What?

What is even happening right now?

And then, as though everything isn’t confusing enough, Topher thinks, is this a date?

Does he want it to be one?

Hell no! Not with zombie boy and his mismatched clothes, his shitty scare tactics, his absurdly detailed makeup, his apish social skills, and his stupidly photogenic eyes.

Never. Of course not.

Then why was he stuttering and stumbling around like a baby foal? Topher is never out of control, no matter what the circumstance. He’s had to reject countless admirers before. Why is this any different?

Is it the adrenaline? It’s got to be the adrenaline. There’s no way he’s having a…crush. On someone so...opposite.

He’s overthinking this. Shawn was just messing around, and Topher’s reading way too much into it.

"This is not a date," he hisses at the blinking red light on his phone. Just in case his viewers aren't aware.

Amidst his dilemma, Shawn pushes aside a branch that’s in the way of the opposite direction Topher had been going, calling over his shoulder, "I'll protect you from the big bad ghouls hanging around,” he flashes his hook, “but if there are any zombies you’re on your own, man.”

Okay, yeah, no.

That's fucking it.

This guy.

Topher has no idea if he's serious or not; ribbing around or being sincere; either way, if none of the other creepies in the maze kill them first, he'll kill Shawn himself.

Once he gets out of this maze.

And, he supposes, once he gets Shawn that fried dough and cider.

Because there's no way Topher's going to ruin his public image thanks to some zombie-obsessed guy preaching shit about this entire ordeal.

Buy his silence or whatever.

[fonulyn]

Just wanted to say that I’ve followed you for a few years now, and have enjoyed a lot of your fics. I try to comment when I can, but a lot of the time I just don’t have the energy or am in too much pain from chronic health issues to do so as consistently as I’d like.

I write for a variety of fandoms myself, both small and large, and I understand how frustrating and disheartening the lack of engagement can be. I tend to average 3-4 comments per fic, and my most popular one so far has 8 comments and 30-odd kudos, on a 25-chapter, 200,000-word fic. The sad reality is that no-one owes us engagement on our writing, and the old mantra of “write for yourself” still holds true, especially nowadays when it seems like reciprocal engagement is dropping off everywhere on social media (I don’t get nearly the same number of asks or responses on here that I did 10 years ago, and I think that reflects a wider change in how people are using social media nowadays).

I guess what I’m trying to say is that writing and posting can be its own reward, but it requires a change of mindset. I found that when I focussed on how much I enjoyed writing, and how proud I was of the final product, it got easier to weather the lack of engagement, and to appreciate the few-but-substantial comments I do get (also helped to realise that the whole reason I was so hung-up on popularity in the first place was a lack of recognition and validation in childhood, and that I was effectively denigrating my creative work in pursuit of something that had nothing to do with it, and which remains unachievable anyway since my mother is an unrepentant asshole). There’s also the fact that popularity is just a numbers game, and overwhelmingly rewards low-effort, low-complexity, broad-appeal works as opposed to those of genuine substance. Put simply, to be unpopular, or otherwise rarefied, is often a mark of quality.

appreciate the effort! and i do get that we're all human and sometimes doing stuff just requires effort that is too much.

you're also right that the entire social media and fandom have changed. things will probably never be the same.

and yeah no one owes us comments. but at the same time the sad reality is that no comments is gonna mean no fic. not saying this to be contrary or mean, it's just how it is.

i've always hated the "write for yourself and stop complaining about lack of comments" type of posts tbh, because writing and sharing are two completely different animals, at least to me. i'm still writing. right now, actually. and i probably will always write, more or less. but idek if i'll be posting stuff anymore because. why would i?

i genuinely think that i had it too good for a while in the "old fandom" lmao when people still commented and interacted and fandom was fun and felt engaging and it was so easy to make friends. so the shift to this consumerism is always going to feel jarring. and unfair.

i'm not even saying i wanna be super popular or anything, i am not expecting a sudden influx of twenty comments on a fic :'D but i would like to feel less like a squishee machine pushing out content thanklessly, y'know, lol.

(also, sorry about your struggles, and your mother :/)

[somewhatclear]

ok so @greypetrel tagged me (@deerna) on this meme like *checks timestamp* two months ago, but i got around to empty out my inbox only now so.... better late than never...?

some rambling about the choices, and blank under the cut!

if you feel like doing it, consider yourself tagged :3

what do you mean "i had" an old account?? i still cross-post everything on my dreamwidth, i'll have you know!

obviously i have an ao3 account

i do write smut even if it's hell

beta-reading for friends AND publishing without a beta are often going hand in hand for some reason

if you're not writing self-indulgent fic, why the hell are you writing fic for???

i am terrible at commenting bc by the time im at the end of the fic my brain is mush so yeah. you get the ol' keysmash more often than not. im turning to emojis a lot now in my old age tho lmao

leave kudos! leave feedback! always! or as often as you can.

i mostly write m/m so. yeah.

fanfic is an actual literary genre! beside the fact that it doesn't follow the normal rules for worldbuilding and setting up, fanfic is generally more character-driven than "regular" fiction. if you hear "contemporary sff reads like fanfiction, these days" it's bc it's becoming more character driven! and if you're saying that because you're making a comment about the poor quality of the writing, i have a spoiler for you: we always had bad literature. published literature can be extremely, appallingly, entertainingly bad. and it has always been.

my hyperfixation bounces around a lot, and my old fandoms are never forgotten.

...i do too much research. i have spent the past three days on the harvard website just to try and figure out their schedule for the years 2013-2015 NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT DEE!!! STOP!!!

listen. sometimes. things that are outlined. are worse. -- and here's another meme for you: "i will outline this fic so i can write it!" (AND THEN I DIDN'T)

i think it's normal to wait for feedback. i am firmly in the "writing for myself" field of belief, but if i share it, i want to know what people think about it. i wouldn't share it otherwise.

IT HAPPENED A FEW RARE TIMES, BUT IT DID HAPPEN-- also one of my little dreams is to commission a couple artists but disposable income is hard won these days.

"at least one" unpublished/unfinished story. AT LEAST 🤣

editing is fun, formatting is hell.

i do get ideas in the middle of the night WHICH IS WHY I DEVISED A SYSTEM TO KEEP TRACK OF ALL THE PLOTS I THINK ABOUT. you never know when you might get the itch to write that one stupid idea. (sometimes, it's just me yelling in your discord dms. you know who you are. thank you. im so sorry)

write while drunk and edit while sober! i actually have fond memories of doing that new year's eve between 2010 and 2011. i was stuck at home with the flu and celebrated all by myself lmao.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Hi~♡ please allow me to me to rank and analyze the entire list of writing propositions you put out while I avoid the last chapter of yamqn because I am keeping it to a moment when I can create the perfect atmosphere to read it properly.

1° werewolf!txt au full fic - that one is a little special to me cause the basis for that one was the first of your writings I ever came across

2° necromancer!oc and TaeGyu - the plot just sounds really really interesting and I love the little touch of classic horror and morbid themes i am getting from this one. that hint of a 70's horror sexploitation vibe

3° teaching your best friend Gyu how to fuck full fic - how not to love this one? it's guaranteed quality enjoyment. THE safe bet

4° bear!hybrid Gyu - the little excerpt you posted a while ago got me mad you ended it there. I want more. and bears are very much to my liking in hybrid fic for the contrast of being stupidly fluffy and cute but at the same time deadly dangerous

5° puppy!gyu getting teased by kitten you full fic - love how the synopsis basically implies that we are the pet's pet 💀. aside from that it's a perv!gyu fic with a bonus of fluffy ears and tails.

6° fox hybrid!Jun and owner!Bin - the synopsis got me interested in the dynamics with yeonjun. the idea of him being a arrogant fox for being highly desired and at the same time a cheap overused sex toy for rent... sublime.

7° puppy hybrid!Gyu and best friend kitty!Oc

8° YAMQN priest sequel - let's go sexy priest! the religious macabre is a special kind of subtle horror aesthetic, I love it... the juxtaposition of divine and corrupt, salvation and oppression, inconditional love and eternal existential doom (yes, I was raised catholic lol)

9° YAMQN barista sequel - it has potential, but I feel like something is missing. maybe it's the word barista that is tricking me into seeing this as more basic than it really is.

10° yandere soulmates TaeGyu - for some reason the synopsis reminded me of another fic that had a very similar theme, I really did not enjoy reading that one. I mean, if anyone can do it right it's probably you but I don't know

11° arranged marriage prince!Gyu - I don't think I will be able to read a prince!gyu fic and NOT think of yamqn for a while

12° perv!Soobin - too close to the cannon version of him I have in my brain 💀 (sorry, soobin biased people... don't take that as offense please)

13° senior Oc and yandere!tyun - when I was reading the title the first thing that came to mind was "senior oc" as in senior citizen Oc! straight up retired rich old lady Oc with her young hunk trophy husband that only married her for her money and is secretly trying to murder her... now I want the version I imagined more than the one you propositioned lol

14° stepbro!Tyun full story - not my type of porn category. as someone with giant frankstein of a family tree that has more divorces and remarriages than people... it's a bit uncomfortable.

15° best of the best - not txt

16° high stakes - found myself frowning while reading the prompt for some reason

17° ceo son!leeknow - not txt. and every fanfic that features a ceo or ceo son as the romantic interest reminds of fifty shades 💀 so no thanks

(I already voted on the poll hihi)

~♡anon

good idea. i honestly haven't even read it again after posting it (which i usually do to give myself perspective on what the hell i just did) because i'm scared lmao. let me comment on your comments

so many people came to my blog from that fic wow it's honestly so surprising as that fic was almost like an afterthought that i didn't really expect to get back to

yup we love horror sexploitation in this house lmao. though i'd definitely need ideas on where to take the fic as other than the original premise and the dynamics between the characters, i don't know here to ultimately take it

definitely a safe bet. fluffy smutty goodness

i love this much a lot too but my only reservation is that it's pretty similar to the yandere puppy gyu cabin fic i recently posted. both involve oc getting tricked into mating with her crazy best friend

it is a perv!gyu fic and it is soooo cute. weirdly enough it's inspired by this video of a real life cat and dog lmao

this one was an ooooold request but yes owner soobin basically degrading jun for being an overpriced dildo and jun being offended that this dumb vixen isn't falling for him like all the other vixens is just yum

exactly lmao

this one can go alright or be super dark and disturbing depending on the version you guys choose (if this option even gets chosen)

oh believe me there is nothing basic about it. that's just a front to lull you into a false sense of security before unleashing the classic gyu moves of manipulation and gaslighting and convincing reader she's insane as the story gradually devolves

oh this is actually inspired by one of my favorite fics that i've read. give it a read i'm sure you'd love it too

fair enough, but this gyu is super sweet and adorable

i fail to see the issue 😌😂

lmao i'm all for older readers (since i'm older than all the boys) but not to the level of senior citizen lmao. but i did think of making a sugar mommy au

makes sense. i never had a step sibling so i don't share the same trauma lmao

😂😂😂😂

really? it's actually more of that campy sexploitation horror than even number two since it's inspired by an episode of buffy the vampire slayer

tbf i was considering changing it to gyu (because ofc I would) and it's nothing like fifty shades of grey at all. it's peak bratty sub idol and oc putting him in his place