#sorry for the quality I did this a while ago LMAO

[madarayurihistorian]

Four men in uniform to carry home my little soldier.

[pixlatedvampire]

it happened... i rewatched two towers finally...

part 2

[wormchamp72]

I’m literally praying this blog is satire/ragebait there’s no way you’re serious, you literally type like 9 year old me roleplaying on wolves life roblox,,

you making multiple entire rants about how making Jeff gay is…bad?? While also doing the classic “b-but im not a homophobe! I I- have a gay friend guys!”. While also saying things like “*growls but backs off*” and “you don’t wanna face my wrath” or some bullshit. Like …do..do you ever reread your own texts and feel any shame??.. it’s 2025 buddy and ur out here roleplaying while ranting about how terrible ticcijeff is and how much you hate when people make Jeff the killer gay.

“Would Jeff like it?? Would Jeff agree??” I hate to have to be the one to tell you this buddy but…Jeff..isn’t real…and he never will be… so nobody gives a single flying fuck what ‘he thinks’. He can’t think. He was a shitass story written by some (presumably) edgy teenager like 10+ years ago.

headcanons are literally fandom culture, shipping is fandom culture, and because so much of the creepypasta fandom is built off of fanon, of course there’s gonna be people shipping Jeff with other creepypastas, or headcanon him as gay, or whatever. That’s not ‘ruining his reputation’ or whatever you said, it’s people having fun..

if you can’t handle that, then I’m afraid fandom spaces, especially tumblr, is not a place for you,,, unfortunately (for you) a lot of people like seeing Jeff kissing men, and you act like that’s the equivalent to murdering 10,000 orphans or something.

I’m honestly blown away by how obnoxious so many of ur posts are. I would not be surprised to find out this is some sort of ragebait/social experiment/ect (which, I’m really, *really* hoping it is… lmao)

Uhm, anyways. That’s my 2 cents. Sorry if some of my explanations are weird I have trouble formulating my thoughts into sentences.

Number 1 ticcijeff fan out :3

Ragebait? Satire? I cast my line out for love and support and instead I reel in hatred? How close-minded do you have 2 be 2 think that genuine kindness is satire? Ragebait...if only you could look through that screen and see my face...see that there is a human being on the other end...then perhaps we could share a look of understanding...a moment of connection...then you would see that I am not ragebait.

And I never said that making Jeff gay is bad. You simply must develop him properly...show his inner turmoil...show the toll that being a killer takes on him...show him toss and turn at night, deliberating over his actions...did that snowball really kill him? (sorry, I'm getting a bit off topic)...then, and only then, will I accept Jeff the Killer as seeking out romance. Jeff being gay must be in addition 2 his other qualities, but too often I see it replacing them...

If you want Jeff and Tobi 2 make out like their lives depend on it, sure. You've got the Worm's approval. But only if I see the pain in Jeff's eyes...the guilt weighing heavy upon him...the battle between his strange feeling and these strange new feelings he has for Ticci Tobi.

"He was a shitass story written by some (presumably) edgy teenager like 10+ years ago." Okay. Now you've gotten on my nerves...You have the audacity 2 come on2 MY blog and insult JEFF THE FREAKING KILLER??? You spit in the face of me and every other Creepypasta fan. I know you said you're the "number 1 ticcijeff fan" but with this flippant attitude towards Jeff, I find that hard 2 believe.

And obnoxious? If you find me obnoxious, I have a simple solution for you:

3FF. OFF.

And no need 2 worry if your explanations were weird or your sentences didn't make sense. I assure you they were rather eloquent.

*huffs triumphantly*

The Worm, OUT.

[yuukei-yikes]

The newest comics have made me fully switch to the Shinaya camp, not because I dislike Kano or I'm like "oh they need to be married bc baby" or anything like that, it's fully because I think the healthiest outcome for Kano is to find happiness outside of Shintaro and Ayano specifically. He has so much baggage about both of them, and like he said, he's always been waiting for Shintaro to choose Ayano over him. I don't think for someone like Kano there is a healthy outcome to "winning" Shintaro back because there's always going to be that part of him that feels like he *won.* He shouldn't have to feel like he won!! He deserves a relationship that doesn't feel like a competition, especially with his own sister, and he deserves to never have that concern in the back of his head of "what if one day he wakes up and realizes he chose wrong and leaves me." Kano deserves to be in a relationship that doesn't make him so anxious dammit!!! Anyways that's my opinion can't wait to see where you take things thanks for making quality kagepro content in the year of our lord 2025

ohhh this is very interesting.... heh. love it. i love what ur seeing abt "winning" cause that's the gay ass shit kano is up to in the novels. complaining he can't win against shintaro, that he's invincible etc etc bc he's playing this one sided yaoi mind tennis. so it's interesting it'd continue in their dynamic as they grow older, but that's precisely one of the issues.

kano threw around the word "picking" and "choosing" (i wrote "pick" in big letters. heh) but the thing is... the problem here has never been Ohhh Who Will Shintaro Pick... how is he gonna pick, when neither ayano or kano have even expressed wanting to be in a relationship with him? and furthermore, if we're using kano's terms, shintaro HAD ALREADY chosen... well, kano!

shintaro did REAAALLY mess up just from Agreeing to have a kid with ayano, like even Before they hooked up he had already royally fucked things up. but shintaro immediately put on his big boy pants on, and though really messily he told kano EVERYTHING, said he was a total asshole, that he was sorry and that he really meant wanting to be with him. shintaro there, WAS CHOOSING KANO. but kano was not choosing shintaro. lalalala. you know!

i wrote part 7 a while ago but like. it still stands! that was kano and shintaro's breakup. shintaro told him the truth, and apologized, and basically asked for another chance. or A chance. kano said no. lalala

it's like another ask i got. if u push someone away thinking they're gonna end up with someone else, then they probably will. that's where shinaya starts making sense, right?

however if we're talking about what is the healthiest thing for these characters, i would argue... they all should stay single. or not with each other LMAO. i mean. yes kano has baggage with shintaro and ayano... but shintaro and ayano have baggage WITH EACH OTHER. and with KANO.. sooooo... everyone's a little silly in the head.

that's what makes it all so fun. i think both shinaya and kanoshin have very big reasons why they should not happen... but also some good reasons why they should. heh. and those are far more fun to write.

since both ships make a lot of sense to me, i ended up choosing based on surprisingly simple, surface level reasons LMAO. otherwise i was gonna drive myself crazy

[for-those-who-wait]

Hello! I adore your art and your writing! Do you/have you ever considered taking art commissions?

Thank you so much, I'm really glad you like them!!

I did one commission for someone ages ago just as a one-time thing since we were in the same Discord server for a while. Payment was purchasing and gifting a Steam game of equivalent value since I never set up any payment apps or accounts lmao. That's the only time I considered taking one, and it was because they offered forty dollars right off the bat

I might be more tempted to take commissions if I knew there was a market for them to be from me specifically. But in general it's just kind of stressful for me to try and create high-quality work if it's for someone else. I know artists always judge the quality of their work way too harshly but I also don't want to be potentially ripping someone off by giving them less than what they asked for or expected

I dunno, maybe that's a totally unjustified fear considering I don't even really know what the process is haha. Even talking about it now makes me a bit more tempted to offer it as a side gig or something

Sorry for the ramble but I guess the TL;DR is that I don't currently take commissions but in the event that I set up a payment system (or there's a lot of interest for it), I might consider setting it up. Thank you for the ask and for the interest, I really appreciate it!

[storkmidzy]

[VARIOUS CRASHING NOISES AS GIRL GROUP/DREAMCATCHER ANON SCREECHES IN HERE SUMMONED BY THE MENTION OF ARTMS]

hi sorry i’ve been meaning to send this for days and just haven’t had the time/energy to get down all my thoughts. oh MAN where to even begin.

1. just in terms of the music - if icarus is not your thing, i would still recommend giving their debut virtual angel a try! it’s a lot more upbeat while still retaining some of the ~mystical qualities + provides a feel for what their sound is when there’s more energy to it. (if you watch the mv, i strongly recommend making sure that it’s tagged with “human eye version” bc the other version’s editing deploys a much more extreme level of flashing.) you also might like their song birth - it’s another slowish track, but the sound leans much more towards distorted rock vibes + is v spooky tonally. plus! THAT mv incorporates more of the cool creepy illustrations :D

2. while artms’s lore can definitely be appreciated by itself, it’s also heavily informed/influenced by lore from the “parent group” loona. (tbh: loona’s fictional lore AND irl-events-that-actually-happened lore are complex enough that i’m having A Time figuring out how to explain this next part w/o excess detail and i apologize if it’s confusing.)

very VERY long story short: the og loonaverse lore was essentially about the members being split into 3 subunits across individual worlds, and trying to find a way to unite across dimensions — they had really surreal mvs and a lot of their early fanbase was built through people getting interested in their intricate clue-based storytelling just to figure out wtf was going on. in 2019 jaden jeong, their original producer/creative director/guy in charge of all this, parted ways with the group’s old company blockberry creative. jj outright said that this was due to creative differences and bbc wanting to pull back on how much the lore influenced group activities. (after his departure loona *did* continue to release abstract mvs with references to the establised lore, but the fandom was and remains really divided on if any of those added something of substance to the storyline/themes or not.)

THEN: in late 2022-2023, the loona members successfully sued bbc to get out of their exploitative contracts. artms is made up of the girls who chose to redebut with modhaus, the agency jj established himself a few years ago - they’ve talked at length about maintaining a good relationship with him even after he left bbc, and about their creative reunion now being really meaningful for everyone involved. the members frequently describe artms as their second chance, and afaik the majority of their fandom is made up of longer-term stans who found them through loona. also, jj’s made comments over the years about having a much bigger plan for the loonaverse’s narrative + being really disappointed that he couldn’t continue with it.

all of that maths out to artms’s lore including a lot of loona in its dna — the odd eye circle subunit, filming mysterious teasers in iceland, etc. like i said before, artms can 100% be appreciated and analyzed by itself (it would be suuuuuch a poor marketing choice if any potential new artms fans had to engage with roughly 6-7 years of loonaverse backlog omg), but if you or the anon who initially recced icarus were wondering about the context of a seemingly rookie girl group releasing an elaborate bizarro short film with cool visuals…………..here it is, lmao.

that all being said: i’m so sorry about the length of this unsolicited essay + just gonna send a separate message wrt my itzy thoughts haha. i hope you’re doing well! have a good week <3

First, than you for sending me this very fascinating lore & band backstory. I love that the girls successfully sued the company and went with the producer that had the more interesting creative vision. The fact that they took a risk (Idols, and I would say especially female idols taking things to court can result in some very serious backlash) in order to keep working with the OG producer says good things about everyone all around.

Alas, I think I just don't like this sound - the soft dulcet female voices harmonizing prettily .... is just not my thing. I'm very much trying to figure out now why it is I feel so intrigued by and into Itzy when I don't feel as drawn to either Red Velvet or Artms's sound. I need to get stuck into it soon, because obviously there's something there in Itzy that's doing it for me, and I'd like to know what that is.

I'm sad I can't follow you into artms fandom. It looks like it's a really good time, especially because of the overlap between the determination and unity (yes?) within the actual people in the band and the story they're telling with their lore.

[oneshortdamnfuse]

Movie criticisms are generally fine and an important part of the ecosystem, but some of the criticisms of the RWRB film are so funny. Here's some I ran into:

Why did Henry - the one with more experience - bottom, when I headcanon Book!Henry as a top? (Not the top and bottom discourse 💀)

Henry gave Alex a blow job while wearing a suit and tie which is "unrealistic." (Ah, but the U.S. president's son falling in love with the prince of England is so realistic)

Book!Alex and Book!Henry met at the Rio Olympics in 2016! Why did they change it to the Melbourne Climate Conference. (My dear, that is seven years ago and Alex's mom wouldn't have been president then)

They're the straightest actors with no chemistry! (Let's stop speculating on actors' identities, even if they say they're straight. I've lived through multiple actors being outed and/or questioned when they play queer roles. This movie was made by a queer man and the queer love scenes were carefully put together by an intimacy coordinator. Like... Be for real.)

*Disclaimer: I haven't read the book. My friend did, and we watched the movie together. She loved it.

Along with people not understanding why this movie got an R-rating (which I've explained can be attributed to the fact that this movie and the book were made by and for adults), I think people can't cope with queer media being allowed to be over the top and silly. It's a fun movie. It's really no different in quality than any other romantic dramedy I've ever seen, and that's a good thing. It might not be your cup of tea and that's fine, but the kinds of things people are losing their minds over are just so so so unserious. I'm sorry Henry taking dick ruined your fantasy lmao

[barretts-hoe]

1, 2, 3 and 4?

What do you think happened in Asia (the band)?

The same thing that happened between me and my old group of friends (everyone is conspiring against everyone and someone almost got stabbed, someone else isn't over a breakup, another one is a plain asshole and then Carl is just sitting there, drinking tea)

If you were to ask them, which prog musician could you see picking a llama as their favorite animal?

I firmly believe that: Trevor Rabin, Jon Anderson, Neil Peart and Rick Wright would pick a llama as their favourite animal. Llamas are cool and funny and very strong and their wool although not the best quality is very warm and low-key waterproof LOL. Also because years ago I saw one once while in Bolivia and yeah I pretty much think those four guys would pick the llama. Llamas are cool. 🦙

Who would win oiled up naked wrestling: the 2112 Starman or the naked guy on the cover of Going For The One?

The guy from going for the one. My man came from storm thorgerson's mind he definitely would win, I want to bet but I have no money and I already did another bet with some friends about a presentation I have so. But yeah that guy would win, I am sorry 2112 starman.

Why do YOU think Roger Dean painted the cover of Close to the Edge green and only green?

Art block. Or trying to make a statement. either way I have thought of dying my hair green so it's a close to the edge reference, lmao.

[hexaliamapreviews]

Celeste Map Reviews #29

5 mostly chill catsnug maps this time! And a bonus! That i forgot about adding the past 2 reviews! But we ball anyway! Let's go!

BONUS! - SUPERNOVA by evie! - The 2nd checkpoint went up for playtesting a while ago now, and after working my way through the trials and tribulations of dead states every 4 microseconds, I can confirm that this map has only gotten BETTER! With even cooler moves, even more new ideas on the table, and even crazier input density, these rooms played like peak, and I could barely muster up any complaints with it (except for that one GLORIOUS cheese lmao) (its probably fixed now :c) . As before, there's all sorts of sling bubble+gravity+retention shenanigans making up this feast. The input density is really fun and satisfying to do, and I still wholeheartedly recommend this (when it's out!) to anyone who can play this difficulty! Quality! Overall, shoutouts to helper updates breaking unintended but cool behaviour! 9.9/10

FIRST! - slipsling by nascence! - I finally bit down on the grapplepill and there's no better way to get used to the mechanic than this advanced/expert map! With coool swap block movement, simple swings and even a custom grapplable bubble in play, it'll get you used to this nifty hook in no time! There's even a challenging berry to go after as well! As if that wasn't enough, the deco and music go really hard too! The dark and gold blocks really work off each other well. So yeah, I enjoyed this one, and it got me started on my own little grapple map; you'll have to wait and see.... Overall, and it's nascence with the map named SS! 9.5/10

SECOND! - some kind of blueberry by aonkeeper4! - for a map with just 2 rooms it has quite the vibe! This map was only done in like 3 hours or so which is quite impressive given the complexity of the rooms, custom music, endscreen and pretty decent deco! The gameplay revolves around dream toggle swap blocks, and move blocks. It's about high expert, though the routing may be the standout aspect here. It can definitely be hard to figure out how to actually do the rooms; there is a good bit of outside the box thinking needed to get through here. But I had fun and the EUREKA moments are always super satisfying! Overall, CL*UDSCAPE??? I'm sorry it's a 1/10 from me! (actually it's a 9.1/10)

THIRD! - Prew's Devious Meadow by fonda1515! - Thanks aon for just kinda mentioning this map while I was around because I have been exposed to peak fonda fiction yet again! Fonda's maps feed me like I'm Bowser in the victory buffet room, it's all such peak. This time, the map in question is focused on fish refills and supporting dream blocks! Having worked with a fishy madeline in my own map I expected good things and I sure got them! Superboosting a fish on dash is just so speedy and satisfying and the moves fonda cooks with them are sublime! All 11 rooms are plenty unique too so it really does make for a super jauntful time! I had a blast playing it all! The deco was also pretty neat! Overall, wait, who's Prew? 10.6 fish/ 10 fish

FOURTH! - Splinterstate by nascence! - Woagh, another nascence banger in the same review? Okay! Created for a bi-monthly mapping prompt event, this map chose to tackle the "cutting corners" theme by literally cutting out a vital part of the mapping process. Y'know when you make gameplay layouts, then you add the hazards n stuff, then you deco it? Well what if you figured enforcing stuff was overrated and skipped right to deco? Splinterastate is the result! A cool intermediate map with dash block lineups, bubbles and even lillies later too! (^w^). The intended routes are good fun, and the deco certainly did NOT suffer it is soooo pretty, but one of the most interesting parts of the experience were the options to skip out on several chunks of many rooms! That's the consequence for not being a spinner merchant after all! It's a cool showcase of a map that gives the freedom to do as it wants, or do what you want, and it's a very fun concept! I mostly stuck to intended myself. Overall, really? another ss name? what's next? Severance Strobe? pfft, surely too predictable. 9.3/10

FIFTH! - Television Tower by Nibblz! - And finally we've got a mildly dense dance of tech, done to the tune of a cool song! Indeed, this somewhat unofficial mtc entry's deco and vibe take after its soundtrack! I like mtc maps, the music choices and their effect on the maps really enhances the experience for me. Parts of the deco also reminded me of SC2020's Tempoeral Tower, which I don't feel is just mere coincidence. As for the gameplay itself, it's input dense, features a lot dream refills and move blocks, and generally has you teching around all over the place. I love gameplay like this always! Flying everywhere speedily never gets old for me, and though a couple parts in some rooms were on the iffy side I very much enjoyed my time! Especially with the last 3 rooms those were awesome! Overall, cool maps start with tele! television tower, teletown, uhhhhh, well 2 for 2 is good! 9.2/10

WOOOOOOOO Watch out for Switching Jungle Swing coming in....some amount of time....DRAGON GLIDAHH

[simplyabirb]

i wanted to see if i could make an oc with Chibimation assets posted in the discord server. i was gonna do more but i lost motivation a while ago and just finished what i had for here

left is just the assets sat on top of each other, right is color edited and the arm is cut off the torso so that it can be on top of shirt/wings Full credits to the CM asset designers for the assets, can't wait for the full game! (and supporter beta, but you won't see that here)

ps i don't think there's a rule about this and idk why ppl would be upset their assets are being used when the game will just be the same thing tbh. but if i did break a rule somewhere i forgot about or didn't see, please let me know and secondly i didn't know about the drives before i made this and it is really lazy so the quality sucks, sorry not sorry lmao

[spiribia]

sorry to bother you but just wondering where you got the wicked video you were posting about a little while ago? it’s so high quality i’ve been searching for it for ages lmao

unfortunately the upload i sourced it from has most likely been taken down. a while ago i saw a wicked bootleg on youtube named something crazy like 'brat summer with the best (other non-wicked character) willemijn' and this did not emerge by search feature, i was just skimming so many bootlegs that it showed up in my recommended like a gacha pity roll. and it was so high quality and had an elphaba and glinda i really liked so i downloaded it instantly. and the next day it was not in search nor view history, probably struck out of this earth

[tls123]

Sorry if I bother you, but I really love your gif sets! Do you know some tutorials or, app, or anything, to learn how to make good gif? I am learning and I feel very stupid because all my gifs are shit. (if my ask is inappropriate or anything, please ignore me)

you're not bothering and none of this is inappropriate, you're more than welcome in my inbox! as for your questions, let's see what i can do.

1) tutorials — i've been doing this for long enough that i don't really have much to recommend here, the only tutorials i use nowadays are all about specific things and not how to make gifs as a whole. that being said i've linked this one before, i personally do some things differently but it's a very good tutorial, well-received by gifmakers who are just starting and well written, from what i've skimmed through.

another good post to look through is this one, not a gifmaking tutorial per se but it goes into sizes, sharpening, and how to get neat & clear gifs. two of the main points are A) while you can get away with making gifs out of a 720p quality video, 1080p is what is usually recommended. you could use 4k as well, but a 1080p video is usually easier to find, will take less space in your storage, and will give you really good results already. no need for overkill <3 as for B) size matters here on tumblr dot com, mostly width. the op of the post linked in this paragraph has included a nice graphic for the size limits for gifs, you can refer to it as you make your gifs so that whatever you make won't turn out pixelated once you upload it to tumblr.

if you're curious, i've been asked about my sharpening settings here and i spoke before on tumblr sizing here

2) software — you mentioned app, if by app you mean mobile stuff then i'm sorry, i can't help you! i've never made gifs through mobile and i wouldn't even know which direction to point towards for you to find more information. as for computers, if you mean programs then these are what i use to make my gifs: potplayer (for taking screencaps) and photoshop cc 2020 (for making the actual gifs, this is the post i used but here's one with more links)

now i'd like to mention something my grandma always used to say: no one is born learned. you're not stupid just because it's taking you a while to do something, learning is a process and everyone has their own pace. i've been making gifs for a decade now and i know there are things i could do better! i'm also still learning, i make plenty of "shit" gifs before stumbling my way to something i am okay with posting, and sometimes i'm really proud of what i've made and other times i think it's just "good enough". i understand feeling disheartened but please do not feel stupid about any of this!

no use in putting yourself down, now hold my hand and let's add the finishing touches on this long ass reply <3

3) tips — we've mentioned video quality, sharpening, and sizing. what else, what else. personally i would start simple (and i did, way back when, and still do!! most of my gifs are quite simple). so: cropping/resizing + coloring + sharpening. it'll help get the basics down and then you'll have a good foundation for everything else you might want to learn. i mentioned in another ask, almost two years ago now lmao, that i used to download other people's free psds (that is, pre-made settings and layers to color your gifs) and instead of using them i would open them up and pick them apart to see how people were coloring things, which layers they used, in which order, stuff like that.

remember: there is no right or wrong to do this! you could ask ten different people how they make their gifs, and their preferences for any specific part of the process, and you'd get ten different answers. if you find a tutorial and don't vibe with it, throw that aside and look for another. pick and choose, find what works for you and what doesn't! and that means do not be afraid to experiment and try things out.

also, don't like photoshop? no problem! i started with gimp, now personally i wouldn't recommend it over ps but it's a good program, it taught me a lot, and there's really nothing to hate about it. it might have less functions than ps though, and already a decade ago there weren't that many tutorials/resources for it.

don't like photoshop AND don't want to download a program? try photopea, i haven't used it but it works directly from your browser and it should do everything photoshop does!

let me know if there's anything else i can help with <3

[cellsshapedlikestars]

ganymedeee im cringing so hard and i have no one to talk to about this so i have to share with you anonymously

unnecessary background info just for context: when i started reading fanfiction over 10 years ago i started on fanfction.net and im never on there anymore because i discovered ao3 which is definitely superior but anyways i for some reason entered a weird depressive state and i guess reverted back into my 16 yo self, stopped reading jonsa (i miss them 🥹) and started reading my first ever ship again, somehow landed on ff.net, remembered i had an account, found it and discovered that i posted stories??!? im pretty sure i wrote them for the same reason that i ended up on ff.net today: because there are in total 3 well written stories for that fandom. i just spent an hour reading comments laughing my ass off at some of them starting with "this is STUPID" and going on to explain the loopholes in the story. yes honey it is. i wrote it when i was 16.

on a tangent - the quality of jonsa fanfiction is actually insanely good. its strange to actually have to go looking for "well written" fanfiction after spending the past 5 years on the jonsa tag where mostly everything has the quality of published novels.

alright sorry for the huge ask! question: have you ever forgotten a piece you wrote and read it like it was written by someone else?

Anon, I adore everything about this except that you entered a depressive state. I'm not sure when that was and if you're still in it, but I hope things get better. I have absolutely been there.

First of all, yes the jonsa fandom is extremely talented. I don't actually read a lot of fic for other fandoms. I get obsessed with one and that's all I care about. I like other ships, and sometimes I'll go try to find fics to read, but I end up getting bored pretty quick. And yeah, sometimes I give up because the quality isn't great

I find your ask so interesting, because I also wrote fanfic as a teenager, but then dropped the hobby for probably over 10 years, until I was in a very bad depressive state (brought on by starting a new birth control lol) and started reading fic again. Went to ao3 because I wasn't satisfied with the ending of GOT, and found the jonsa fandom. Started writing fic for it 8 months later.

And ooooooh boy, I have a whole backlog of fics for my old fandom. A few years ago, I re-posted them from ff.net (in case it died) to ao3, because while a lot of them make me cringe hard enough that I couldn't even read through them again, I checked my ff.net stats and people were still reading them a decade later. And for a very, very small fandom. So I might cringe, but clearly some people were getting enjoyment out of it.

There were a few I did re-read and enjoyed again, because while my writing style might be different now, the ideas were good and some were even decently written. Some were not. Some I wrote in first person POV, which I DESPISE. I also wrote so much smut. Like a lot. Or, I did at first. I absolutely wrote less smut the more confident I became in writing plots/relationship dynamics/character studies. Actually, looking at the account now, it turns out I did not transfer a bunch of my earliest fics because they were just bad smut lmao

As for forgetting a fic/reading it like it was written by someone else? Alas, no. I have a very specific memory, fortunately or unfortunately. I still remember the Sailor Moon fics I wrote when I was eleven, that I never even posted online, I just wrote for myself.

Anon, I have to say I really want to read your cringe fic, but I will not ask you to share it. I know I've never shared my other username on here (though someone from the jonsa fandom did find my stuff because I named the ship outright at one point, and it wasn't hard to find my stuff in the 113 fics for it on ao3 - 24 of which are mine. It was very funny when they commented, and I responded with my ganymede account, so perhaps someone else will come across it in the wild at some point).

And I'm sorry you got critical comments! I was very lucky that my fandom was so small and everyone was SUPER supportive of each other, which I will always appreciate because I absolutely would have given up writing if they'd been mean to me lol

Anyway, TL;DR - I love this. Cringe at your own writing. Love that 16 year old who wrote it.

[allthistrashtalkmakemeitchin]

Ghostwriter Ch 10

Unbetad Unedited Unhinged || AO3

Character(s): Kendall Knight, James Diamond, Gustavo Rocque, Carlos Garcia, Logan Mitchell, Veronica Clark oc

Pairing(s): Kendall Knight/Veronica Clark, Kendall Knight & Veronica Clark

a/n: starstruck is by far my favorite movie, so, uh... keep that in mind lmao. I also have two songs I make a reference to in the beginning

Kendall heard music coming from the recording studio. He was under the impression that Big Time Rush was done with vocals for today. He and the guys were heading out for some quality time at the pool when he realized he left his beanie at Rocque Records. He followed the sound of the music through the halls, which led him to recording studio B. He also heard singing that didn’t belong to either Gustavo or Kelly. Pressing his ear against the door, he chuckled softly. Whoever was inside had no idea that someone else was in the building. They probably assumed Gustavo and Kelly would ignore them, but Kendall wouldn’t. This was the perfect opportunity to embarrass some poor soul. He cracked the door open and peeked inside, the poppy music flooding through the doors. 

“You could want this. See if it fits for a bit, and if you don’t like it, then you could go like you have been.” He froze when he realized Ronnie was singing. 

The song was playing over the speakers in the recording studio. She held a broom and swept the floor, dancing slightly as she jostled it around like a microphone stand. 

“This could hurt some, but if we don’t, we’ll never know what it’s worth to you. I saw you first. Do you remember?” Kendall snickered quietly. 

It was funny watching Ronnie sing and dance like no one was watching. Technically, it was like she was putting on a little show. Admittedly, Kendall didn’t want to make her feel bad, but he couldn’t help but laugh. In a twisted sort of way, it was cute. She was genuinely having fun while cleaning up after Gustavo and the guys. Although peeking through a crack in the door felt like an intrusion, she’d stop goofing around if he announced himself. The song died down, and another one started. Maybe she was listening to the CD Lucy gave her? 

“Testing, testing, I’m just suggesting you and I might not be the best thing. Exit, exit somehow, I guessed it right. All right?” 

Kendall’s smile fell off his face. Maybe he should stop listening and announce his presence, but he didn’t want this to end. Even though he apologized and could talk to her again, she was still closed off around him. Logan, Carlos, and James had more animated conversations with her than he could ever have. In a way, this was like he was picking her brain. 

“But I still want ya, want ya, don’t mean to taunt ya. If you leave now, I’ll come back and haunt ya.” 

“You’ll remember, return to sender now, now…” 

Okay, Kendall was making his presence known. He pushed the door open wider and cleared his throat. Ronne jumped and spun around. The broom clattered to the ground, and she stared with wide eyes like a deer caught in headlights. It was awkward, staring at each other, but it was getting even more uncomfortable listening to her jam out to what was most likely a love song. 

Kendall coughed into his hand, trying to lean casually against the door and pretend he wasn’t listening like a creep. He wasn’t being creepy because his intentions were pure, but she didn’t know that. 

“What are you listening to?” 

With the remote, Ronnie lowered the volume and brushed her hair out of her face. 

“Mariana’s Trench. Sorry, did you need something?” She laughed awkwardly and picked the broom up off the floor. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Gustavo told me to clean the recording studio,” 

“Seriously?” Kendall raised a brow. 

“Yes.” Ronnie furrowed her brows. She examined the expression on his face but was still frazzled from getting caught. “What do you want?” 

“Came back for my beanie,” Kendall said, noting that it was neatly sitting in one of the swivel chairs. 

“Oh– But you left an hour ago?” 

Kendall crossed the room quickly and grabbed his beanie, sitting on his head haphazardly. 

“James also forgot his lucky comb. Have you seen it?” 

“No. I haven’t seen his comb.” Ronnie shook her head. 

“Do you want help?” Kendall tilted his head. 

“Well, I mean, I’m almost finished. All I have left is… The sweeping.” She glanced at the broom handle. A minute ago, Ronnie had pretended it was a microphone on a stand because she thought she was alone. 

“Are you doing anything after this?” Kendall fidgeted with his hands. 

Ronnie choked on her saliva. Is there too much wax in her ears? 

“I’m sorry. Are you asking me out on a date?” She was prepared to kick herself if she misread the situation mentally. Kendall’s head snapped up, and he looked around for an answer. 

“What? No! Friends. We’re friends. I figured you haven’t seen much of L.A.” 

“And how would you know that?” Ronnie asked with an accusatory tone. “You’d have to have followed me around for that information.” 

“I don’t know… It was easy, considering you haven’t left the Palm Woods.” 

“So, what? You want to take me sightseeing?” 

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Kendall shrugged. “I have my license, and I can drive you around to see all the best tourist spots.” 

Momentarily, Ronnie was quiet as she looked down at the broom in her hands. She had wasted time goofing off instead of cleaning as Gustavo wanted, but no one was there to yell at her then. She wanted to go sightseeing in Los Angeles. Take corny pictures before the Hollywood sign and grab one of those dumb keychains. She had no idea when Griffin or Gustavo would send her back to Vermont, so she might as well have a souvenir as proof that she went to L.A. It wouldn’t hurt to go sightseeing. 

“I know Gustavo barely gave us a lunch break. We could go to Sunset & Vine.” Kendall suggested. 

“Isn’t that place expensive?” 

“So? You have Gustavo’s credit card.” Kendall snapped finger guns at her. 

“I’m not going to–” Ronnie paused and considered it momentarily. “It’s an option.” 

“Exactly! So, whaddya say?” 

“Okay. I hope you’re a good driver.” 

She had less than zero confidence in his driving abilities. Kendall and his friends have a penchant for causing destruction, and it isn’t too far off to be weary of how well he drives. She was also thrown off that Kendall even wanted to hang out with her outside of work. It was strange. Ronnie figured he only realized he had to be nice to her, or she would ignore him and give him the cold shoulder. That was all this had to be, right? He acts friendly so that she doesn’t freeze him out and embarrass him in front of his friends. If they went to the same school, he wouldn’t have noticed her, and better yet, he would avoid her if he did. 

It wasn’t that Ronnie wasn’t confident enough or that she didn’t think any popular guy would go for her, but she never tried to step out of her comfort zone. Coming to L.A. was a pretty giant leap. If some jock asked her out, she would unfortunately turn the prospect down. Romance and relationship were uncharted territory, with too many unspoken rules she had yet to understand or figure out. Sometimes, navigating her friendship with Callie and Addison was more complicated than it should be. It was like navigating a social minefield. One wrong move, and someone blew up. 

“You’re a little quiet there.” 

Ronnie snapped out of it. They waited for the elevator at the end of the hall. She must have zoned out while walking. Her mind was an echo chamber, and it was hard to get her away once she got too deep. She felt like she didn’t have time to process everything. 

“I’m always quiet.” She shoved her hands in her pockets. 

“More like you always have too much on your mind.” Kendall raised a brow. 

“I think a lot. So, what?” 

“Hey, hey, hey. I never said it was a bad thing.” 

“Not those exact words, but you had that tone.” 

“Tone?” Kendall furrowed his brows. 

The elevator opened, and the both of them stepped inside. 

“Nothing. Nevermind. You’ll think it’s weird.” 

“No,” Kendall shook his head. “I wouldn’t think you’re weird.” 

“It was…” Ronnie sighed. “You said it almost like you were teasing me,” 

“Well, I wasn’t. Whatever you think I think about you is all in your head.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot that you’re such a nice guy.” 

“Okay, now you’re teasing me.” 

“Exactly. Because I am.” 

“Hey, I’m a nice guy!” 

“Nice guys don’t usually have to announce that fact.” 

Kendall paused and stared at her with his jaw on the floor. The elevator signaled they were on the ground floor, and he watched her walk out. He had to admit she got him. Maybe he wasn’t as nice as he thought, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. But her comment caught him off guard. He felt she knew him and who he was under the facade for some reason. Shaking his head, he followed after her. He won’t think about that now. 

“Why do you always act like you don’t want to spend time with anyone?” 

“What do you mean?” Ronnie tilted her head, staring up at him, confused. “I’m glad you want to spend time with me.” 

“Oh– You just seem… I dunno, indifferent…” Kendall shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. 

“Oh, right, sorry.” She cleared her throat and put on a fake smile. “Oh my Gawd, I am so happy to spend the day with Kendall Knight from the biggest boyband Big Time Rush! Tell me everything about yourself. Your favorite color, your favorite food, your favorite school subject!” Ronnie twirled a strand of her hair around her finger and mocked him with the fake Valley girl voice. 

“Why do you do that?” 

“Because, unlike your fans, I’m not head over heels for you.” 

“I think you might like me once you get to know me,” Kendall rolled his eyes and put on sunglasses that he seemingly pulled out of nowhere. What is it with people pulling things out of thin air? 

“Do you not have sunglasses?” He noticed how she squinted in the light and shielded her eyes with her hands. For a moment, he considered giving her his sunglasses. 

“I’m fine.” Ronnie lied, trying not to squint too much and make it seem like the L.A. sun was already affecting her. She knew she had forgotten something this morning. 

Mrs. Knight graciously let Kendall drive her second rental car after Katie’s fake friend drove the first rental in a high-speed chase. It was a beat-up Toyota with dark green paint. No celebrity would be caught dead driving one of these, and the paparazzi would be utterly unaware if he were in it. Big Time Rush wasn’t globally famous, but the group gained traction with their first album and a successful interview with Deke. Kendall opened the passenger door for Ronnie. He was somewhat of a perfect gentleman. Or at least he knew how to act the part. 

The passenger seat was uncomfortable, and the car smelled slightly like gasoline. She could only imagine the car would go up in flames if she lit a match. Pulling at the levers on the side of the seat, she adjusted the back. Kendall shut the door and ran around the car to climb into the driver's side. 

“Are you sure you don’t need sunglasses?” The blonde dug around in the door and procured a pair of sunglasses, flashing her a toothy grin. 

“Okay, okay.” Ronnie took the sunglasses from him and placed them on her face. It was strange how they sat on the bridge of her nose. The weird, fuzzy feeling made her want to scratch her face until it was red. 

“I can’t believe you haven’t checked out L.A., and you’ve been here for almost two weeks.” 

Ronnie was occupied with looking out the back while Kendall pulled out of the Rocque Records parking lot. She was convinced he would crash into something. 

“What can I say? I don’t have a lot of time,” 

“We have nothing but time!” Kendall laughed. 

“I’ve been too busy following you around.” 

“Really?” 

“I’ve been cleaning up after you and your friends and getting you out of trouble. If I’m being honest, I kind of don’t care about this stupid city.” 

“Okay, you don’t like me, but don’t take it out on Los Angeles.” Kendall scoffed. “This is one of the greatest cities in the world. I told you I’ll take you sightseeing, and I’m the best tour guide.” 

“Really? You? A great tour guide?” Ronnie deadpanned. 

Kendall turned up the radio, and a poppy duet flooded the speakers. Ronnie rolled her eyes and adjusted herself in the car seat. It was having fun in the sun and spending time with one another. It was pretty ironic, considering the circumstances. Leaning against the window, she watched the world pass by. Adjusting the sunglasses on her face, she sniffed. From the window, she watched Malibu beach whizz past. Ronnie didn’t necessarily hate the beach, but she preferred the pool. Sand got everywhere, and there were always too many people. She didn’t live near beaches, but her parents took her to state parks and swimming holes when she was younger. They weren’t the most fun because the gravel would stick to her wet feet, or some kid would accidentally push her into the water. For as long as she could remember, she liked looking at the water but hated being in the water. 

Their first stop was Venice Boardwalk. Kendall was decently parked, and he double-checked to make sure the paparazzi weren’t following them. The blonde hadn’t had a run-in with them yet, but he could only imagine what Gustavo and Griffin would be like if the tabloids got their greasy hands on some made-up scandal. Their reactions wouldn’t be positive in the slightest. Maybe even Gustavo would have a heart attack. Not that Kendall wanted him to have a heart attack. It was funny to piss him off or get him angry, but only with harmless antics. If the paparazzi saw the way Ronnie was glued to him amidst the crowd, he was sure they would prattle off about how the frontman for Big Time Rush found himself a new girlfriend after getting his heart broken by the actress from Newtown High. Just thinking about it made his skin crawl. The one thing he hated about being famous was the lack of privacy. It wasn’t as bad as someone like Dak Zevon would experience, but it was still pretty weird. Suddenly, people wanted to know everything about what he and his friends were doing. Where they shopped, what they liked to eat, and who they hung out with. 

Ronnie ordered a pretzel with extra salt and butter, and Kendall grabbed a slice of pepperoni pizza. It was starting to look like a picture-perfect day. The sun was shining, and there were no clouds in the sky. Los Angeles was pretty scenic once you got past all the car fumes and the people crowding every street corner. Ronnie stopped by a stand selling sunglasses. There were rounded shades, cat-eye shades, red shades, green shades, you name it. Looking at the maps, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Kendall handing the vendor some cash in return for a funky pair of sunglasses. 

“Try these,” he handed her square frames tinted purple and blue. 

She put them on and pulled her hair out of her face. 

“How do I look?” 

“Phenomenal.” Kendal gave her a thumbs up. “Keep them, they're yours.” 

“Wait– Really?” Ronnie pulled them off. “You bought them– I couldn’t–” 

“Keep them,” Kendall repeated. He stopped her from handing them back to him. 

“Thanks…” 

The two walked down the boardwalk at Venice Beach, weaving through crowds and mostly ignoring the sun beating down. Kendall was used to it at this point, but Ronnie wasn’t. He kept looking over at her, worried she’d sweat herself into a puddle of goo. Or the sun might melt her into multi-colored mush. She was peculiar. She was always wearing that yellow hoodie of hers. He rarely saw her without it other than when she fell in the pool and at Lucy’s Halloween party. He wouldn’t be surprised if it fused with her skin. Although Ronnie had a tough exterior, she was fun to hang out with. 

It wasn’t that Kendall hated his friends or wished he had better ones, but there was something different about hanging out with her. Sometimes, he was afraid to admit that James, Carlos, and Logan were too much. There was always something going on with them. When Jo broke up with him, he couldn’t strictly focus on being heartbroken because his friends had decided to get a temporary relationship and then break up with him to understand how he felt. It was heartfelt but resulted in Kendall and Logan having to make James and Carlos feel better. Sure, it took his mind off of Jo for a little while, but by the end of the day, he had been reminded of his heartbreak. For now, he’d been keeping his thoughts and feelings tucked inside. He knew his friends meant well, but he didn’t want to have to deal with fixing their heartache again. Of course, he should have figured they would go and do something stupid to relate to how he was feeling. 

A man on roller skates came by playing guitar. Ronnie’s eyes lit up, and she engaged the man in a lively conversation. Sure, Kendall played guitar, but he felt like an outlier in their discussion. He liked the way her face lit up when she was happy. It reminded him of James whenever his friend received a new beauty product in the mail. It was nice seeing her out of her comfort zone. She looked different without the permanent scowl or the angry look in her eyes. He took a picture of her on his phone without saying anything else. The lighting was perfect, and she looked so happy. This was a memory he wanted to capture. In the background, there was a paparazzi van. Looking up from his phone, he froze. 

“Ronnie.” She hadn’t stopped walking. 

“Ronnie.” Maybe she didn’t hear him. 

“Ronnie– We have to go!” Kendall grabbed her by her arm, and she let out a yelp. Not only did that alarm the people around them, but it also alarmed those wearing all-black clothing. 

“What are you doing? I was just–” 

“No time. We have to get out of here.” 

“But we have–” 

“No time. Let’s go.” 

Ronnie didn’t argue. The man on roller skates had already disappeared into the crowd. She helped him with the song he was working on, and in turn, it struck inspiration for her. The only problem was that she didn’t have her notebook. It was in the car. She didn’t want to stick around and find out what made Kendall so antsy. She tripped over her feet as he led her back into the car. He was acting strange. Did he not want to be seen with her? Was he embarrassed to be seen with her? She probably shouldn’t take it so personally, but it wasn’t like he would give her an explanation. 

“Something about the sunshine, baby. I’m seeing you in a whole new light.”

“L.A.s a breeze with the palm trees swaying, oh, it’s so right.” 

The Hollywood Walk of Fame was the next stop on their sightseeing tour, Something James had begged Kendall to take him to. James wouldn’t stop talking about how his name would be there one day. He was aiming for the stars… that people walk on. People also put their hands on the handprints, but they were part of the sidewalk, so people mainly walked on them. In Kendall’s eyes, they weren’t that great. Acclaimed actors and actresses got their names on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but he didn’t see it as glamorous. 

When the crowd cleared and people walked away, Ronnie bent down at Christina Auguliera’s star. Like everyone, she put her hands on the handprints. Not exactly. Instead of putting her bare palms to the stone, she pulled her sweatshirt sleeves over her hands and pressed them down. It was strange and caught Kendall off guard, but he scrambled for his phone to take a picture. She looked cute, smiling up at him. He would have taken a few more photos if not for the fear that the paparazzi would find him and ruin his fun. 

“Hey, look.” Ronnie pointed to the billboard across the street. 

It was an advertisement for Big Time Rush’s first album. She had to admit it was a pretty good album, and Gustavo knew how to write music well. Of course, she was his protege and couldn’t say many negative things about him. Gustavo Rocque was the master, but she was a simple padawan studying his craft. One day, she would get to his level. One day, she would be famous for the music she writes and could maybe even sing it if she was confident enough. Addison and Callie always said she had an incredible voice, but having never taken singing lessons, she was pretty sure they were just saying that to be nice. 

“What a perfect day,” 

Ronnie barely folded the map as she looked out the window. She could see nothing but grassy hills for miles. The car was humming down the main stretch of road with no other vehicles in sight. It was actually a perfect day. She wouldn’t admit out loud that she had fun walking around and taking pictures, even though Kendall mainly took photos on his phone. The car turned a corner, and suddenly, three black cars appeared in the rearview mirror. 

“Not anymore.” Kendall frowned and looked over his shoulder. “God…” 

“Is that– Are they the paparazzi?” Ronnie turned and looked over her shoulder. “Why are they following us? Have they been following us all day?” 

“I don’t know. How do I lose them?” 

Ronnie opened the map. It took up a good chunk of space on her side. It was upside down, but she wasn’t thinking about that. Moving her finger along the roads, she had no idea where they were, but all she could hope was that the map was correct. 

“Take a left here,” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” Ronnie glanced over her shoulder again. The black vans with tinted windows were genuinely intimidating. 

The car turned, and the vans still followed. The songwriter looked back at the map again and then looked around. Kendall swore the hubcap fell off one of the wheels as the road switched from cement to dirt. Nothing but foliage surrounded them, and it almost looked as though they were driving on a firebreak. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at the map. 

“Okay, if you take your next left, the road loops back to the highway…” Ronnie turned the map once she realized it was upside down. “Or… maybe not.” 

The wheels kicked up dirt. 

“This isn’t even a road anymore. This is a firebreak. It has to be.” 

“Just keep driving.” 

After driving for a while, they passed a yellow sign. Kendall turned his head to get a better look at it, his eyes wide. They were utterly lost, and Ronnie couldn’t admit she was a horrible navigator. 

“That sign back there said ‘Deer crossing.’ There are no deer.” 

“You complain more than Addison.” 

“Are we on the right road or not?” Kendall groaned and turned to look at the map. 

“We are! I think…” 

“You think?” 

“Keep your eyes on the road!”

The car was starting to veer to the right. Even though no other vehicles were on the road, it was still essential to maintain safe driving. 

“Look, I’m the navigator.” Ronnie sighed and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. 

“Oh, is that what you call it?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Means you’re a know-it-all.” 

“What?” Ronnie gaped at him. The map crumpled slightly in her hands. 

“A know-it-all!” Kendall repeated. “God, you are the queen of snap judgments.” 

The car came to a stop, and neither of them noticed. 

“‘Turn here! This is the right road, I’m sure of it!’” Kendall mocked her in a high-pitched squeaky voice, taking a hand off the wheel. 

“I was sure of it!” Ronnie huffed and peered at the map again. Then she looked out the window and saw the car wasn’t moving. 

“You’re sure. You’re so sure of things you couldn’t be sure about.” 

“I am not.” 

“And you’re defensive.” Kendall shot back. 

“Move the car! We’re not moving.” Ronnie groaned and massaged her temples. “God, you’re such a child…” She muttered to herself. 

Kendall looked ahead and then down at the pedals. He pressed on the gas, and the car roared to life, but the pedals were stuck. The wheels made an ugly slurp sound as they turned. Looking out the window, his eyes widened when he looked down. The car was in some sort of mud or quicksand. Ronnie leaned out the check window, and the vehicle suddenly jolted as it began to sink. She screamed at the sudden movement and quickly tried to unbuckle her seatbelt. 

“Let’s get out and push.” Kendall was surprisingly calm on the outside, even though he was also panicking on the inside. He unbuckled his seat belt, and they both moved to get on the car's roof. 

“Let me help you,” Kendall extended his hand to her, but she batted it away. 

“Don’t touch me!” 

“Why are you so mad?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. This.” Ronnie gestured to the rental car, slowly sinking into either mud or quicksand. 

“Turning onto this road was not my idea.” Kendall rolled his eyes. He helped her up even though she didn’t want him to. 

“You’re blaming me?” 

“Yeah, you’re a terrible navigator!” He snapped at her. 

“You’re a terrible driver!” 

“Hey, I’m a great driver.” The blonde held a finger up to stop her, staring down at her with a wave of anger flickering in his eyes. 

“Right.” Ronnie threw her hands up and laughed. “Because you didn’t get us into this mess!” 

“No, this is your fault! You had the map!” 

The car moved again, and Ronnie grabbed his arm for stabilization. The last thing she wanted to do was fall in the mud and get her clothes ruined or sink into the mud with the car and suffocate to death. She had a feeling he would leave her there to die. 

“Ronnie, we’re gonna have to jump.” 

“I am not jumping.” Ronnie rolled her sleeves up and looked around for something to get them out of this mess. 

“Got a better idea?” 

Ronnie’s eyes lit up as a metaphorical lightbulb turned on in her head. “Use the branch as a bridge!” 

Kendall moved toward the branch but turned back to her, momentarily questioning her sanity. The branch did not look like it would hold their combined weight, but he could only pray it did. He moved to the car's hood and reached his leg over hesitantly. The vehicle made noises as it sunk into the mud. The inside of the car began to fill with muddy water. The singer was safe on the branch, but Ronnie hesitated to move. She slipped while trying to get to the branch. 

“This was my mom’s rental!” Kendall whined. 

“I understand that. Just give me your hand.” Ronnie’s arm shot out, and she grabbed the fabric of his shirt. 

She teetered off balance, and in the blink of an eye, part of the branch snapped, sending them into the disgusting muddy-brown water filled with leaves and other things neither wanted to think about. Kendall pulled them both out as the car finally sunk under the surface. They watched the mud in the water swirl around from the open window—the watery pit kind of burped as it took the car. 

“Excuse you.” 

“Shit, my mom is gonna kill me…” Kendall ran his gross, muddy hands down his face, then sputtered in disgust, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. 

“My bag!” Ronnie dropped to her knees and stuck her arms in, searching for the rucksack she brought to Rocque Records that morning. “I’m dead. I’m dead.” The songwriter was frantic as she tried to search for it by touch. Not only was her notebook in her bag but her phone and her keys to the apartment. 

“Don’t just stand there! Help me!” The liquid coated her sweatshirt, turning the vibrant yellow a disgusting color. But it wasn’t as if their clothes weren’t already soaked from falling in. 

“Come here, give me your hand.” Kendall took hold of her arm as she reached in further, looking for her rucksack. His phone rang in his pocket. 

“I’m gonna die. That’s what's going to happen ‘cause my dad is going to kill me.” She complained as she felt around aimlessly. “Why did I have to get in that stupid car with you?” She groaned. 

“Answer your phone!” 

“Okay. Sorry.” Kendall let her go, and she fell face-first into the disgusting water. He fished around in his pocket for his phone; it was a miracle it didn’t stop working when he fell in. 

“Mom?” He pressed his phone against his ear. The other end was garbled static, barely resembling a voice. He pulled it away from his face to check if he answered the call. 

“Mom, there’s no signal. Can you hear me?” Nothing came in from the other end. “Hello?” He rechecked the cell signal and ended the call. It was useless if they couldn’t hear each other. 

He turned back to Ronnie, who finally pulled her bag out of the water. It was dripping dirty brown water and quite heavy. 

“Look at this!” She shot him a look. The shoulder strap squelched as she put it over her shoulder. “When we return, you’re paying for a new one.” 

“I’m paying for it right now.” Kendall furrowed his brows. Why did she have to be such a bitch? 

Ronnie turned and walked away in the wrong direction. Unaware, she had no idea where she was going. Kendall sighed and shoved his phone in his pocket. 

“Beach is that way.” He pointed in the opposite direction. 

She accepted she was wrong and turned to walk in the right direction, shouldering past him. On the bright side, their clothes would dry faster this way. Kendall caught up with her pretty quickly and was mildly irritated. Without a car, the only option was to walk for who knows how long. Neither knew where they were, and Kendall could only hope he was right about where the beach would be. For a while, they walked in silence. Ronnie’s anger was stewing, and Kendall was trying hard not to give her a piece of his mind. She had been pleasant all day but suddenly turned into a raging asshole. Kendall took a deep breath before he flew off the handle. 

For him, the silence was uncomfortable and suffocating. 

“I’m sorry, okay.” 

“Now you’re going to apologize?” Ronnie said snarkily. 

“I meant to apologize before.” 

“Then maybe you should have apologized then.” 

“What is your problem?” Kendall scoffed and walked ahead of her, turning around so he could walk backward and face her. 

“I don’t have a problem. I just wanna get back to the Palm Woods and shower to eliminate all this dirt and grime!” Ronnie glared daggers at him. 

“You know what? I wanted to take you out and have a nice day that wouldn’t end with us yelling at each other. Why do you hate me so much? Everybody loves me!” 

And there’s his arrogance. He turned and started walking away. 

“What? So that’s what it’s like with you?” Ronnie raised a brow. “You can’t handle someone disliking you, so you bitch and moan about it and then walk away? That’s charming. I bet your friends chase after you when you do that.” 

They both stopped walking. Kendall tensed up, hands balling into fists at his sides. A muscle in his jaw twitched. 

“Oh, Kendall, I’m so sorry I hurt your delicate little feelings. Kendall, forgive me for not treating you like the big, enormous star you think you are.” Ronnie mocked, batting her eyelashes and faking a pout. “What a brat.” She said under her breath.

Kendall turned on his heel and walked towards her, quickly closing the gap. He was pissed. It was written on his face. 

“I’m a brat? I’m a brat? What about you, huh?” He jabbed a finger in her face. 

“Me?” She stared at him in shock. 

“Yeah,” Kendall sneered. “For the last week, you’ve done nothing but whine about how I haven’t treated you right or that I haven’t been nice to you. I saved you when you almost drowned because you couldn’t fucking swim.” 

She narrowed her eyes but remained silent. She didn’t have anything to say to that because he was right. Ronnie didn’t know how to swim, and he did save her. Then, a thought popped into her head. 

“What? So, treating me like an emotional punching bag was just something nice to do? I pity your friends.” 

“You wish you were one.” 

Ronnie stepped closer, getting in his face. 

“I’d rather go down with the rental car.” She shouldered past him and walked away again. 

“Okay, I’m confused about something.” Kendall popped in front of her again, walking backward to talk face-to-face. 

“What?” Ronnie groaned and rolled her eyes. She was about five seconds away from punching him. 

“When we were on our little photography tour, I thought you liked me.” He looked so sincere, like a kicked puppy. For a second, Ronnie almost regretted yelling at him. 

“You thought wrong.” Her gaze hardened. 

“Why? Why don’t you like me?” 

“Because you think everyone likes you and that they should like you regardless of how you approach others.” 

“It’s ‘cause I’m likable.” 

“No, because you’re a star.” She laughed in his face. 

“What does that mean?” 

“You don’t even see it, do you?” Ronnie slowed her pace. He was genuinely confused, and it was laughable. “Your life isn’t real. Your house is practically a hotel. You have people waiting on you hand and foot. I mean, real people date someone because they want to be with them. Why were you with Jo?” 

“I– Well– I liked her– She’s nice–” Kendall stammered, floundering for a solid answer. She put him on the spot, and he was going belly up. 

“That’s all I’m saying.” Ronnie sighed. 

It wasn’t long until they found a lake. Kendall fell in first by accident, then he grabbed onto Ronnie’s sweatshirt and pulled her in. They both needed to cool off before the argument got even more heated. The lake was most likely secluded by nature, and it was scenic. A dip in the lake didn’t eliminate all the dirt and grim but they were relatively cleaner. Of course, when they get back to the Palm Woods they’d have to take a shower. But this was sufficient, for now. 

In a way it was like time didn’t exist. Ronnie sat on a log, her sweatshirt and rucksack hanging on the branch of a nearby tree. The wind tousled her hair slightly. She closed her eyes and sighed. Kendall sat in the grass. Their clothes were mostly dry. They had sat there that long. By the lake side, it was quiet and peaceful. No one could disturb them or interrupt them. And certainly no paparazzi. 

“This is kind of nice.” Kendall leaned back in the grass with his hands behind his head. 

“Yeah, it’s giving me the idea for a song.” 

“What about?” 

“A perfect date, or day. I’ll decide when we get back.” Here, with Kendall, she didn’t have the instinct to cover her arms. She wasn’t embarrassed or uncomfortable. Typically, she didn’t like being without her sweatshirt but there was something different about sitting in the sun with him. 

“I wish we could stay here.” 

“Why?” 

“Because everything goes so fast. It’s calm and quiet. For once, I feel grounded in the moment. I don’t have to put on an act or pretend I’m anything I’m not.” 

“I doubt people would hate you if you started acting like who you want to be.” 

“I don’t know, I never tried it. My friends think I’m the strong leader with nerves of steel, Gustavo thinks I’m the perfect ‘bad boy’ for the band, and my mom…” 

“Your mom would love you regardless.” 

“Sometimes I think she wishes I was better, you know. That I didn’t get into fights as often, or maybe wanted me to pursue something other than hockey.” 

“Okay, then what do you think?” 

“About what?” 

“When you start suppressing who you really are, it takes a toll on people.” She got up from the log and walked over to him. 

“I’ll be fine. I don’t have a choice.” 

“No, I think you do. But it’s your choice to make, not anyone else's.” She sat beside him in the grass and picked at the grass blades. 

“I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.” 

“Maybe… I don’t understand.” Ronnie pulled at the grass blades, twisting them in her fingers. 

“What?” Kendall propped himself up on his elbows. 

“Your life. You’re already so well-adjusted to the Hollywood scene. I can hardly imagine what that can be like. All this growing pressure to be something amazing.” 

“Right now, I don’t feel pressured to be anything. I can let go and be myself with you,” 

Ronnie snorted and shoved him playfully. 

“How do you like it?” 

“I like it a lot.” 

“Me too,” 

“So,” Kendall sat upright and faced her. This look in his eyes. “Tell me something about you,” 

“That could take a while. I live a fascinating life.” Ronnie joked. 

He laughed with her, his eyes filled with warmth and tenderness. She squirmed under his gaze and looked away. Eye contact made her feel weird. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” 

“Like what?” Confusion flashed across his features. Up close, he had a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. 

“That thing… With your eyes.” 

To be funny, Kendall crossed his eyes and made a face. Ronnie snorted and held a hand over her mouth. 

“Comedy, not your next big career move.” 

“What? No, I’m funny.” 

“Yeah, funny looking.” She shoved him playfully. 

The songwriter got up and ruined the second little moment they were going to have. Gripping her hoodie and bag off the branch, she took a deep breath to try to calm herself. She didn’t like him. He was still kind of an asshole but more so misunderstood than anything. But she had to stay firm on her stance. Just because they got all heartfelt and mushy didn’t mean they would end up falling in love. Kendall frowned and hopped to his feet, following her. 

“Yeah, we should– We should go. Your dad would kill me if he couldn’t find you,” 

“Right, she cleared her throat. 

When they returned to Palm Woods, it was nearly sunset. Their feet ached, and they were both relatively hungry. James and Carlos were playing obnoxious music by the pool area. Kendall split off from her to check out what new idiotic plan they were implementing. Ronnie pulled out her phone, and it surprisingly worked. It was weirdly durable. Her lock screen lit up with missed messages from an unknown number and Callie, Addison, Camille, and Mercedes. She scrolled through while waiting for the elevator to arrive on her floor. 

Hey, Mercedes said I should stop by Rocque Records and meet with you in person. I can’t wait to find out who you are, Ronnie. ;)

[leox-un]

yo! im the anon from awhile ago that was asking about your swap design. i did end up making that fic, in the end. quality is up to the eye of the beholder, but you deserve to see the monster you spawned either way

it's lovingly titled "idk man it's just a swap au" by 4dancingsharks on ao3. about 10k words across both of its 2 chapters

i hope you enjoy, even if you dont usually read fic. i also did mutilate your design a little in my excitement, so i'm sorry. i just think it's VERY cool

but yea <3

OOAA hihi !!!! i have read the fic and that was really good aghfhsgaj!!!!!! the characterization of vash was so good,,,,,, i really loved the descriptions of his expressions, they really get at the fact that hes not exactly a pure supervillain lmao; also tbh i really liked the change of his coat color to black, i may adopt that into the design tbh, cuz it makes a lot of sense,,,, also the thorn tendril things are so??? cool ????? your writing is rlly descriptive, i rlly enjoyed it! also loved that it was all from ww's perspective (srry my compliments are kinda just "i loved that!" i have -5 vocabulary)

ik in the notes you said chapter 3 was giving you trouble so you may not post it but i would love to see it if you do!! even if it takes a while dont hesitate to reach out if you do post it because i dont have ao3 so i wont get any updates on it if you do rip 💔

wanted to include the link if anyone was interested in it hehe ^^

[bisexualdinahlance]

can you explain the Casey McQuiston thing a little further? I'm pretty brand new to the rwrb fandom and not familiar

There's been rumors for years in the RWRB fandom and outside of it that Casey McQuinston used to be on tumblr and was a fic writer for the Social Network/Social Network RPF fandom. Further, there was a lot of rumors that RWRB was SN RPF with the serial numbers filed off. The original tumblr account people say was Casey I'm pretty sure is either gone or dead now, and the fanfic author that people say they are took down their fics years ago. It's very possible that that person was Casey, but like without them fessing up there's no way to know for sure.

Someone on Youtube did a whole video essay deep dive into investigating the accounts, and even read the fic people claim RWRB is based on. The conclusion the video essayist came to was that she thought the author was Casey but that the fic was nothing like RWRB. (Which of course it wasn't lmao, the intro to the book literally talks about how they wrote it during and after the 2016 election - several years after the fics were deleted.) There's a good chance she's right, but while some of the reasoning is good, one of the reasons was literally that both authors "inserted their media opinions superfluously" into the story that broke their immersion because both authors made fun of "blonde women [the video essayist] liked" lol. So I take the conclusion with a grain of salt even if the investigation work was good.

Anyone who has read the book I'm sure can tell that Casey probably wrote fanfiction, but it's pretty clear to me that it's not lol. It just has tropes and dynamics that are popular in fandom spaces, as well as some specific turns of phrases. Which isn't a bad thing lol, RWRB is my guilty pleasure fave, I adore it even if it feels a bit lib in the current political climate.

I doubt that Casey ever saw the rumors - for a while it was mostly just snarky tumblr or reddit comments that brought it up to prove moral superiority over not liking the book. But it's still frustrating to me that like an author is essentially being haunted reputationally by fanfic they might or might not have written as a teenager/college student. Even the fanlore page for the book is completely overtaken by people speculating that it's a fanfiction. I would be PISSED if I got published, and everyone claimed my books were Harry Potter fanfiction because I used to be in the HP fandom in high school and college. And then spread around old fanfiction that I deleted off the internet because I got made fun of for how bad the smut was.

(Part of the "proof" that some people used as to the original fic being RWRB was it was deleted off of LJ but the fanlore page on the actual fic speculates it's because the author was getting bitchy messages about the quality of the smut in the fic.)

Anyway, sorry this wasn't super... coherent I have a lot of opinions on the subject. the TL;DR is that Casey might have been a BNF in the Social Network fandom, and because of that people speculated that they turned one of their SNRPF's into RWRB. It's pretty clear that they didn't do that, but these rumors have haunted the fandom for years because people keep spreading them like they're fact.

And I think authors should be allowed to keep their fandom separate from their professional work exactly because of shit like this lol.