#sorry for the extremely jokey response but. yeah. yeah...

[bittieswithbrokenbones]

i wish bitties were real so bad. like i desperately need to stomp on one. i wanna see their reactions and their expressions when i put them in situations. i wanna put one in a jar and shake it around until it is dizzy. aaaa srry 4 the rant

i'm just like you

you're just like me

[albatris]

is there romance in atdao or is it all just found famiy vibes? if there is romance im real curious about how peeps would express those kinda feelings

hello hi hello this took me AGES I’m very sorry I kept getting distracted by things such as being asleep

anyway yes thank you for the question! romance? yes, we’ve got some of this going on, sure, though I would count the romance as within the found family c:

I don’t know if you wanted a Ramble™ but this is a topic I can ramble about and I’m in a bit of a rambling mood so you can have a ramble, free of charge, just take it up to the register and have them enter the code “logan this is not what I ordered”

but yeah, your question? about eight vaguely relevant tangents immediately spring to mind! also spoilers?? spoilers after the cut

I really should have formatted this response in a way that puts the super spoiler heavy part at the end but since when have I ever ever in my life made things easy for my dear sweet followers

y’all know what I’m like with spoilers by now 

but yeah, to set the scene, there’s two main romantic......................... situations going on in the story, the first being between Noa and Alice, and the second being between Kai, Tris and Shara. so, the former I would describe as “a legitimate romantic subplot” and the latter I would describe as a character tripping and falling into it by sheer chance and just being like “oh whoops well I guess this is what I’m doing now” which is also extremely valid

Noa and Alice end up not being, like, Confirmed Endgame by the end of the story even though much of the plot looks like it’s heading in that direction, and like...... yeah, in my head, they do end up in a romantic relationship at some point post-story, but I’m not sure on what sort of timeline

during the story itself, it’s established that they do share mutual feelings for each other and this is likely heading towards a romantic relationship, but I think since much of the story sees Noa still trying to find her feet in just, like....... having friends at all, and trusting those friends, and knowing who she is in relation to others on any sort of level, I think near the end of the story she decides that she’s not at a place where she wants to try and figure out a romantic relationship just yet

it’s not a hard no, it’s just a “hey not right now” and a “let’s see what happens later down the track, for now it’s just nice to be around friends” ‘cause even that is just super new territory for her

which I worry will make people feel cheated, but also, I think it’s the ending for this subplot that would make the most sense for where the characters are at and would be the most fitting c:

and secondly there’s like

hm. ok

well, there WAS a vaguely jokey post I made yonks back where I pitched the idea of an ATDAO polyamory ending being just like. Alice who’s dating Noa who’s dating Shara who’s dating Kai who’s dating Tris. and I stand by this being solid as hell. but also, given the ending to Noa’s subplot with Alice, it doesn’t really work in the story canon, n though I think Noa and Shara is a dynamic I really enjoy, it would likely not actually play out in reality :P

which leaves the trio of Shara, Kai and Tris, a trio I’ve always vibed with and had vaguely on my radar as a valid poly ending but for some reason didn’t twig that I could just, like, make it canon and no one can stop me LMAO

but yeah, this one, like I said, it’s not so much aHD whole big subplot, it’s just something that falls into place super casually and is never really brought up beyond “oh is this a thing that’s happening?” “yeah” “cool ok”

I think there’s a brief window as a reader where you might be like “ugh this is gonna be a stupid love triangle or some weird jealousy thing” but then it just ends up being a complete non-issue. there’s basically zero romantic drama for this plotline, Tris and Shara are bros and Kai is dating both of them

n as for your question itself, it depends on whether you mean, like.......... how they would go about expressing to someone else that they have romantic feelings or, like, how they express their affections in a romantic scenario

‘cause for the former, the answer for both Tris and Noa is just.... they don’t

Noa because at the start of the story she views her crush on Alice as a huge fucking inconvenience that’s going to make things messy and complicated, so she just tries to ignore her romantic feelings as hard as she can (obviously this doesn’t last hahaha). but yeah, she’s just very pissed off that she has a crush and doesn’t want to acknowledge it :P she also has no idea how to respond when Alice expresses romantic interest in her, this is all extremely new territory

and Tris because he doesn’t realise he’s even experiencing romantic feelings in the first place?? like. the boy has so much baseline anxiety jitteriness that stuff like, idk, feeling your heart pick up pace, butterflies in the stomach, any kinda social nerves you get around the people you like, etc, he experiences this with Kai and is automatically just like “great now you’re here and I’m having a panic attack can you please leave”

just slaps a label of Bad Vibes onto it then later is like Wait A Minute

but yeah, I think neither of them would be super comfy actually expressing their feelings out loud or making that first move, Noa because she’s super fuckin petty and stubborn and Tris because he’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin socially anxious for that shit are you kidding

in terms of how they express their affections though??

so like. I have to reiterate that I’m aro and ace and I have a lot of difficulty in articulating what makes a romance A Romance, like??? I have relationships that are friendships and relationships that are romantic, but I myself don’t really experience romantic attraction in the way other people do

as such, the way I write characters in their romantic expressions tends to be just an extension of how they act in their friendships? which I think is a pretty ok thing to base a romance off anyway, but like, yeah, romance, this is a mystery to me for the most part, do I look like I know what a romance is

anyway I think once Alice and Noa get a little closer there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing and friendly insults, n since they already had a bit of a rivalry going on beforehand I would imagine this competitive streak doesn’t disappear :P Noa is generally uncomfy with being Openly affectionate and soft with others, so I think there would be a lot of more “indirect” ways she shows this care. I think they have the kind of relationship where from an outside perspective you don’t really get how it’s warm and affectionate, but it’s just ‘cause you don’t know the lingo, right

Tris is just the cheerleader type in all friendly relationships I think, lots of encouragement and hype and compliments and enthusiasm, he’s very excitable and very easily impressed hahahaha. though I think it takes people a while to click that he’s legitimately being 100% earnest and genuine, the constant deadpan does not work super well in his favour

anyway I’m gonna hop back up for a sec so I can cover Shara and Kai real quick

these two are............ a bit more direct with actually verbalising their feelings to people? Shara is a socially anxious type, but also not someone who enjoys beating around the bush, n she generally likes to just speak what’s on her mind and be direct with others whenever she can. Kai just kinda........ I mean, I don’t think they consider romantic affections to be a super big deal? at least in theory? I say in theory ‘cause, like, I think they give the impression that this kind of conversation is just super smooth and easy for them, and on the inside they’re like “it’s really not a big deal it’s just feelings it’s whatever” but they’re still anxious about it and had to hype themself up for like a week before going through with it lmao

but ye, in terms of how they express their affections, they’re both fairly similar. you suddenly will just Not Be Able To Get Rid Of Them, they’ll constantly be hanging around in the same space or dragging you into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on, I think for both of them their favourite expression of love is just sharing in experiences or sharing the same space, just Being Involved And Around 

a “hey come help me run errands” type or a “I’m gonna hang off the back of your sofa while you’re studying and sometimes slingshot balls of paper at you with a rubber band” type :P

and now I have to go on Another Tangent just ‘cause the subject matter is vaguely relevant and idk where else I’m gonna go on this tangent

there is definitely some part of me that’s still super super fond of the idea of Kai being aro??? and I initially did write them as such, but for the moment this is not something that’s remained canon in text ‘cause I’m a little bitch ‘cause like

Kai would be aro in very much the same way I am, which is to say, they’re a person who is extremely full of love and who has difficulty in differentiating what the step is supposed to be between friendship feelings and romantic feelings, so, someone who may not necessarily “get” what makes a romance a romance or experience any feelings different from a strong friendship, but who is still open to being in a romantic relationship

(the difference between us being that Kai Really Really Likes People and enjoys being close with others as much as possible, where I’m more the awkward standoffish hermit type lmao)

but yeah, I was kinda like. well. despite being a perfectly valid aro person in a romantic relationship myself, if I were a fictional character people would probably call me bad rep HAHAHA. like “yeah they’re apparently aro but they don’t really ACT aro and the author put them in a romantic relationship ://”

and while I think there’s value to be had in fiction in exploring the different ways a person can be aro, I just, like................... thought about the hypothetical future discourse and was just like UGH. I cannot be fucking BOTHERED

I get enough people in real life being like “ok but you’re not REALLY aro like why do you even bother having that label it’s not like it matters in your context” even though I’m the goddamn expert on my own experiences you bastards

lmao

but yeah I think aro Kai is canon in my heart hahahaha. and they may end up articulating some of the same feelings, maybe just not with the label applied, who knows

anyway that’s my rambles done I think! thanks for reading n have a nice night c:

[birlcholtz]

jack/nursey!!

oh i'm Intrigued by this?? i've never considered jack and nursey before!! someone come up with a ship name because the first thing that came to my mind was ‘jursey’ which is cursed on many, many levels

edit: @thewritingninja suggested ‘jersey’ because it’s also what they wear in games. excellent we’re rolling with that now. also what the fuck happened with the formatting on this post i’m so sorry y’all

i think they connect on the grounds of a combination of a certain degree of artsiness (also nursey is photogenic as fuck okay just had to get that out there) and intellectual curiosity. 

like not everyone on the team is doing their degree because they're genuinely just interested in it— ransom, holster, dex, chowder, tango, and whiskey all make extremely pragmatic choices (although tango either is genuinely interested in coding or just doesn't understand why people think it's hard, but we're not talking about tango he doesn't come to samwell until after jack graduates anyway). 

shitty kind of majors in his righteous passions— he has a very tangible post-college goal for WHAT he is going to do with this knowledge. lardo, from what we've seen, is more into the practice of art than the theory of it. and we all know eric 'what's a thesis, i declared this major because i thought it would let me take food classes' bittle.

but jack and nursey are in it because they just genuinely find their chosen fields fascinating and think doing research is a leisure activity (ww2 documentaries and reading books, anyone? nobody said research had to be boring but i say it counts) and both of them def take ribbing from the rest of the team (jack a little less than nursey because it's widely accepted he doesn't actually need a degree to earn money) for it. so they are UNITED because they're both fucking nerds. and also artsy. jack is an accidental hipster and nursey is an intentional hipster but it still counts

side note. nursey is taller than jack???????????????????????????????????? what the fu k

literally anytime they go somewhere together that requires spending money they argue about who's going to pay ('i'm good for it' 'i got a signing bonus from the falcs i'm good for it' 'you need to save money for a PLACE TO LIVE. i'm good for it' over and over and over and over and every time it gets more ludicrous)

nursey has a love/hate relationship with jack's yellow sneakers because they're ugly as fuck but also the fact that they're ugly as fuck is kinda neat

one of nursey's great joys is watching period pieces with jack because jack Will Not Shut Up. he criticizes everything and nursey's like hell yeah babe tell me more

jack reads All nursey's favorite poets and authors so he can offer intelligent commentary on them. nursey has no idea he's doing this until he mentions a paper he's writing for one of his classes and jack is genuinely helpful, like, with a deeper-than-surface-level of knowledge, and nursey's like ?????????

nursey (kind of jokey, lighthearted): am i your photography muse

jack (dead serious): yes

nursey (secretly romantic): <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

jack: how did you say that out loud

nursey intentionally leaves his clothes around for jack to steal, partially because it's cute as FUCK and partially because he's very sure that a) jack deserves to wear nice things and b) nursey deserves to see jack wearing things that are not Ugly As Fuck. no matter how much his hipster side grudgingly respects it. jack, for his part, just really likes stealing nursey's clothes

at like nine pm jack will be like ok im going to bed and nursey will immediately call him an old man and jack's response varies from 'so what does that say about you' to 'you're LITERALLY wearing reading glasses right now'

they have cats i don't accept criticism

they go to bookstores so often. like whenever one of them hears about a new bookstore they Have To Go. jack and nursey are doing their part to keep indie bookstores in business (they're actually doing, like, six people's parts based on sheer volume of books purchased)

jack also has to get reading glasses eventually and nursey laughs for days

nursey picks up knitting because why not and knits jack a scarf as like one of the first projects he successfully completes (it brings out his eyes) and jack wears it all the time, if he wasn't known for so many other things he would be known as The NHL Player With The Scarf

nursey gets more and more tattoos as time goes on and jack adores them all

oh i'm Intrigued by this?? i've never considered jack and nursey before!! someone come up with a ship name because the first thing that came to my mind was ‘jursey’ which is cursed on many, many levels

edit: @thewritingninja suggested ‘jersey’ because it’s also what they wear in games. excellent we’re rolling with that now

i think they connect on the grounds of a combination of a certain degree of artsiness (also nursey is photogenic as fuck okay just had to get that out there) and intellectual curiosity. 

like not everyone on the team is doing their degree because they're genuinely just interested in it— ransom, holster, dex, chowder, tango, and whiskey all make extremely pragmatic choices (although tango either is genuinely interested in coding or just doesn't understand why people think it's hard, but we're not talking about tango he doesn't come to samwell until after jack graduates anyway). 

shitty kind of majors in his righteous passions— he has a very tangible post-college goal for WHAT he is going to do with this knowledge. lardo, from what we've seen, is more into the practice of art than the theory of it. and we all know eric 'what's a thesis, i declared this major because i thought it would let me take food classes' bittle.

but jack and nursey are in it because they just genuinely find their chosen fields fascinating and think doing research is a leisure activity (ww2 documentaries and reading books, anyone? nobody said research had to be boring but i say it counts) and both of them def take ribbing from the rest of the team (jack a little less than nursey because it's widely accepted he doesn't actually need a degree to earn money) for it. so they are UNITED because they're both fucking nerds. and also artsy. jack is an accidental hipster and nursey is an intentional hipster but it still counts

side note. nursey is taller than jack???????????????????????????????????? what the fu k

literally anytime they go somewhere together that requires spending money they argue about who's going to pay ('i'm good for it' 'i got a signing bonus from the falcs i'm good for it' 'you need to save money for a PLACE TO LIVE. i'm good for it' over and over and over and over and every time it gets more ludicrous)

nursey has a love/hate relationship with jack's yellow sneakers because they're ugly as fuck but also the fact that they're ugly as fuck is kinda neat

one of nursey's great joys is watching period pieces with jack because jack Will Not Shut Up. he criticizes everything and nursey's like hell yeah babe tell me more

jack reads All nursey's favorite poets and authors so he can offer intelligent commentary on them. nursey has no idea he's doing this until he mentions a paper he's writing for one of his classes and jack is genuinely helpful, like, with a deeper-than-surface-level of knowledge, and nursey's like ?????????

nursey (kind of jokey, lighthearted): am i your photography muse

jack (dead serious): yes

nursey (secretly romantic): <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

jack: how did you say that out loud

nursey intentionally leaves his clothes around for jack to steal, partially because it's cute as FUCK and partially because he's very sure that a) jack deserves to wear nice things and b) nursey deserves to see jack wearing things that are not Ugly As Fuck. no matter how much his hipster side grudgingly respects it. jack, for his part, just really likes stealing nursey's clothes

at like nine pm jack will be like ok im going to bed and nursey will immediately call him an old man and jack's response varies from 'so what does that say about you' to 'you're LITERALLY wearing reading glasses right now'

they have cats i don't accept criticism

they go to bookstores so often. like whenever one of them hears about a new bookstore they Have To Go. jack and nursey are doing their part to keep indie bookstores in business (they're actually doing, like, six people's parts based on sheer volume of books purchased)

jack also has to get reading glasses eventually and nursey laughs for days

nursey picks up knitting because why not and knits jack a scarf as like one of the first projects he successfully completes (it brings out his eyes) and jack wears it all the time, if he wasn't known for so many other things he would be known as The NHL Player With The Scarf

nursey gets more and more tattoos as time goes on and jack adores them all

[danfanciesphil]

I really REALLY dont want to interrupt your writing for your current fic cause its killing me but would you ever consider writing a short fic about the Marcus thing? The 'i want to lick you' text and dan and or phil's reaction to it?

okay

“Here you go,” Dan says, placing a Hello Kitty mug down on the bedside table next to Phil. 

Phil looks up, smiling at him, and then turns his attention back to his computer screen. “Thanks.”

Dan takes a slurp of his own cup of tea, walking back around the bed in order to sit beside him. It’s only once he’s settled that he remembers he left his laptop in the other room. 

“Ugh,” he says quietly, and digs his phone out of his pocket. This will have to do for now as a means of checking Twitter, at least until he overcomes his laziness. 

They sit together in silence, scrolling through their timelines and sipping tea, occasionally tapping out a response to a fan. 

All of a sudden, Dan’s phone buzzes in his hand. 

“That’s weird,” Dan mutters, vaguely, at Phil. “Marcus just texted me.”

“Mm?” Phil replies, not looking away from his screen. “What’s he saying?”

Dan clicks the message, taking another slurp of tea, and almost spits it straight out again. 

Marcus Omg yes. I want to lick you until you explode 😉💋💥👅

Choking a little on the hot drink in his mouth, Dan splutters, sitting up straighter. The peculiar reaction makes Phil turn in surprise, his glasses halfway down his nose. He thumps Dan on the back, taking his mug from him. 

“Are you okay?”

Dan nods, struggling for air. “Yep,” he croaks. 

“What happened?” Phil asks, bewildered. 

Dan debates what to do; showing Phil the text he just received is probably not a great idea, but then again neither is hiding it from him. 

As it happens, before Dan can even decide, Phil’s gaze drops to the phone in Dan’s hand, deducing the situation for himself. 

He reaches for it carefully, and Dan just lets him take it. “I don’t ever talk to him,” Dan blurts, cheeks reddening for some reason. “I don’t-”

“Christ,” Phil says, his eyes growing round. 

Dan watches him carefully, tracking his face for changes. “He must be joking.” 

Phil’s eyes flick to his, one eyebrow raised. “You think?”

“Y-yeah,” Dan manages, forcing out a little laugh. “I mean... it must be for a video or something. He wouldn’t... say that.”

“I sincerely hope you’re right,” Phil says, his voice strangely flat. He locks Dan’s phone, tossing it back to him, holding Dan’s gaze. “For his sake.”

For some reason, Dan’s heart is pounding. He’s done nothing wrong here, hadn’t even prompted this, but he still feels like he’s somehow done something naughty. He stares at Phil, trying to convey his apology through a look. 

“Do you want me to reply?” Dan asks. “I could tell him to fuck off, if you want.”

“That depends,” Phil says carefully, placing the mug of tea down, and closing the lid of his laptop. His movements are slow and careful, and it’s putting Dan on edge. “Do you want him to?”

Dan stares in bewilderment. “Want him to fuck off?”

“Want him to lick you until you explode.” 

“What!” 

Phil just maintains a level stare, not responding. 

“Phil, don’t be crazy,” Dan says, his voice coming out a little high pitched. “I barely even know Marcus, I only ever see him at VidCon.” 

“So, if you knew him better, you would be more up for it?”

“What?!” Dan exclaims, wondering how on earth the situation has become so ridiculous, so quickly. “Are you serious? This is mental. I do not want Marcus, or anyone else except you, to do anything to me at all. If you think that I do, you are cracked in the head.”

“Hey, I’m not the one getting weird sexts from other people.” 

“It’s a joke!” Dan cries, mildly hysterical. “It has to be a joke.”

“Then reply,” Phil says, shrugging. “Reply in a jokey way.”

Dan surveys him for a moment, not really believing that this could be the end of the debate. Phil is just blank-faced, appearing completely relaxed, so Dan suspends his suspicion, grabs his phone and texts Marcus the first jokey reply he can scrounge up. 

Dansorry marcus i think i have too manycalories for you to lick. I wouldn’t wantto ruin your abs

It’s only once the message has sent, that Dan realises Phil is typing something on his laptop. He leans over, curious, and sees Marcus Butler’s Twitter page up on Phil’s screen - specifically his Direct Messages. 

“Wait, Phil, oh my god-”

But Phil clicks enter, swiftly sending the message he’d been typing. 

Before Dan can read it, Phil shuts the lid of his laptop, smiling satisfactorily at Dan. “Don’t worry,” Phil says brightly. “I don’t think he’ll text again.” 

“Phil what the fuck did you write?” 

“Something along the lines of ‘back the fuck off’,” Phil says, like that’s a perfectly ordinary thing to tell one of their YouTube friends. 

“Phil!” 

“Nobody gets to lick you, Dan,” Phil tells him, voice dropping an octave, the words slipping straight between Dan’s thighs. In moments, Phil’s laptop is put aside, and Phil is leaning over him, their faces close. “Except me.” 

*

Exhausted and wrung out, Dan stares up at the ceiling of Phil��s room, trying to comprehend everything that just happened. He has never experienced possessive sex before, but as it turns out, it involves a lot of flexibility. Being extremely unflexible, Dan is sure he will be feeling the after-effects for weeks. 

He’s not sure he minds. 

His phone buzzes, lost somewhere in the covers, and Dan limply feels around for it, still too tired to move. Phil, next to him, finds it in the creases of the sheets, and hands it to him, smirking. 

Dan catches his eye as he takes the phone. “Don’t look so fucking smug, that was batshit crazy behaviour.” 

“You didn’t seem to mind it a minute ago,” Phil quips. 

“Yeah, ‘cause you were licking me until I exploded.”

Phil giggles, and Dan unlocks his phone. A message from Marcus appears, and his stomach drops. 

“Oh god,” Dan says, barely wanting to read it. 

“Who is it?” Phil asks, all innocent smiles. Dan shoots him a withering glance. 

“Marcus.” 

“What’s he saying now?” Phil asks. “More sexting?”

Dan groans in despair, turning the message round for Phil to read.

MarcusI’m sorry Dan. That was inappropriate. I know you’rein a relationship. I won’t do itagain. Our apologies to you andPhil. Sincerely, Marcus and Louise.

Phil hides a laugh behind his fingers. “Weird, they seem to have changed their tune.” 

Dan glares at him. “I wonder fucking why!”

Phil laughs again. “Come here.”

“No, you twat. Go and send a sorry message to Marcus.” 

“Come here,” Phil says again, opening his arms. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“And you’re apparently a fucking jealous monster who verbally abuses our friends for joking about when you’re angry,” Dan fires back, but finds himself shuffling into Phil’s arms anyway. 

“You love it,” Phil says, his hands slipping over Dan’s bare back. 

Dan accepts the kiss planted on his lips, but with a stubborn level of resistance. “You’re lucky I do, you crazy bitch.” 

Phil chuckles against his lips, hands wandering a little lower. Dan forgets to reply to Marcus again for quite some time. 

[nothingneverforever]

The Good Place (2016)

I chose to start watching this only because I was at a very low point in my life in terms of facing a dearth of TV-derived entertainment, having just finished Virgin River (2019) and Sweet Magnolias (2020). Both Virgin and Sweet are not what you'd call .. uh... productions of any real calibre or value or perhaps worth at all, like you can be certain that no niches were filled when they were realsed into the Netflix ether... But they also happen to be epic masterpieces by sheer fact of how banal and predictable and PG and saccharine and inconsequential they are, the best of the suburban vanilla Hallmark Movie genre, and basically they rock af ok?? and so when I finished both first seasons of the two series I was left empty and thirsty. And it was in this lostness that I turned to The Good Place, thinking it would be as enriching in it's simplicity, as palatable in it's shallow distraction, qualities I generally look for in the fodder to keep my eyes engaged on something that isn't the clock when I do my daily evening indoor cardio.

So maybe I should first set the stage by establishing that I simply fucking hated this series lol. I couldn't get past episode 12 (I know, this makes it sound like i already gave it way more time than it deserved, which is the truth) of the first season, because once I decided I'd had enough, it was really fucking enough and I couldn't give it one more second.

As always, here's my shoddily written premise of the series; I don't want to put much effort into capturing it's essence well because idgaf about this dumb show seriously fucking hate it lol but anyway: Eleanor (Kristen Bell) dies on earth, and goes to 'The Good Place', where all souls who were much more good than bad while living on earth go to upon their death, as opposed to The Bad Place, where the bad people go. There’s some mathematical calculation for this heaven and hell allocation basically. So the good place (i can't be bothered to capitalize it every time i type it anymore lol sorry), is run by a head architect who has designed and is in charge of the neighbourhood our characters live in, and he has a female robot assistant, Janet, who is the omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient right-hand lady who can also be called up by any good place resident who has any question for her, anytime. Anyway Eleanor, after dying on earth, was actually sent to the good place by accident, because she was actually a completely irredeemable asshole but due to some dumb boring never-happened-before error, she was sent to the good place instead of the bad place where she actually was meant to end up. Here she makes a small group of friends, some to whom she is eventually honest about the fact that she does not actually belong in the good place, and it is because of this incorrect placement that the good place is crumbling and its inner workings are going haywire etc and everyone suffers from the consequences. So blah blah blah soon we find out that it is not just her, but also some other guy who is here by mistake, and so blah blah blah etc yupp

So here are the things that suck about this show:

So there’s this other guy who also doesn't belong in the good place and who was also sent there by accident, his name is Jason okay but umm it's complicated because the person he was mistaken as (and the actual 'good person' who was intended to be sent to the good place while Jason was meant to be directed to the bad place) is named Jian Yu, a Taiwanese monk. Jason however is a Filipino-American from Florida and I guess his character is meant to be a stereotypical 'White trash' character, but it's meant to be funny or some shit so we aren't meant to be deeply affected by fact that his life was fucking sad, like how his small-town dreams were meant to be comedic relief for us to laugh at how pathetic he is when ... i dunno, I feel very uncomfortable making a joke out of real-life situations that umm aren't funny at all idk whatever... Oh also the weird (dumb/shitty/lame/thoughtless) thing about the show is how even once it is revealed that Jason is in fact his Jason-y, oblivious, infantile, one-dimensionally-tropey self, the characters who know the truth still continue to call him Jianyu throughout...? But like.... he's not Jianyu lol?

So anyway, Jason is characterised quite disturbingly to be honest as an extremely immature dudebro, to the extent that one could call him child-like. In his unhappiness at being stuck in this weird world where he can't be himself and has to pretend to be Jianyu most of the time (which involves being a complete ascetic as well as silent because the real Jianyu had apparently taken a lifelong oath of silence), Jason latches on to Janet the robot assistant. He says she is the only one who has been kind to him, etc etc etc, and begins ummmm, falling in love with her. But because he's painted as a literal baby with absolutely no rational or critical thinking skills, him falling in love with her is meant to be uhh earnest and sweet or at the very least inconsequential and jokey I guess? But like... this isn't funny...? Not when sex robots are a real thing and will probably lead to the abuse, violation, murder of millions of women in time to come because men will be so used to putting their penises into awfully, scarily 'life-like' dolls whose limbs have been programmed to move and who can even utter words of affirmation to their degenerate users that actual human females will no doubt bear the brunt of being expected to perform in life and in bed similarly to our robotic counterparts...? Yea so the good place disturbingly first makes us almost forced to feel some endearment toward Jason for finding a kindred "soul" in robot Janet, glad that he finally has "someone" to "talk to" (quotation marks cos once again she's a fucking robot), and it's all very "pure" and "wholesome" at first because again, he's portrayed as a fucking kid (one piece I read describes the character as "a sweet ding-dong human"). And then suddenly, about one or two episodes after they fall in love or whatever, Jason says:

You guys have fun. This is me and Janet's honeymoon, so we're gonna go try and figure out how to have sex.

Yeah umm so once again, in case any of you forgot, Janet's a fucking robot. If I use a scale of human consciousness out of 100 where a regular human's sense of self and awareness and independent thinking and authonomy and whatever else makes us human is at 100, Janet is probably at .... 10? at most? So yea.... i guess rape jokes are okay these days? I dunno? Literally how the fuck were there 3 entire seasons of this dumb show after this

Anyway when I attempted to put in *some* effort before I gave up, realising this show wasn't worth my precious weekend downtime, I googled Jason and Janet's relationship to see if there were any other similar voices of dissent but umm apparently, according to the headlines of articles, this is instead public opinion:

The Unlikely Romance of The Good Place’s Janet and Jason

Why Janet And Jason Are The Good Place's Ultimate Love Story, According To The Actors

How Janet and Jason broke the infinite love mold on The Good Place

From these disgusting articles, here are some choice quotes by the actors and crew involved themselves:

And the fact that this should not happen but it does makes it very special. We think that their relationship is really sweet. There's something very innocent and real about their love even though that is insane

Yeah, I always talk about this whenever I get the question, “How does Janet and Jason work?” And my response is always — and I’ve thought about this a lot — Jason is slowly becoming a little bit more aware and intelligent. He’s evolving a little bit, and through Jason, Janet is able to become more emotionally intelligent. She’s feeling these things, whether it be good or bad, through Jason because that’s what Jason is. He’s all these different emotions that he can’t tame, and Janet’s learning that. They’re kind of evolving.

Okay so perhaps I should clarify that Janet the robot goes through a couple of 'deaths' in which she comes back as a rebooted version, and supposedly more 'human' each time. So yeah I guess it's okay to have sex with robots if they actually become 0.0000001% more human-like each time they come back to life though!!!!! Sorry for overreacting guys!!!!!

Seriously though how the fuck are they even using the word 'romance' in good conscience to describe the 'relationship'

Actually as I'm writing this I'm reminded of this video by Pop Culture Detective on youtube, titled "Abduction as Romance". Jonathan the host/video creator goes through various movies through history and from contemporary cinema of this unbelievably damaging and disturbing trope, where women are shown to eventually fall in love with men who have essentially, in some way or another, abducted them, annyway here it is if anyone's interested 

I’m calling up this video because in the shows used as examples in Jonathan’s thesis, the female characters fall in love with the men just because the men happen to be the only choice they have. Okay I actually only managed to get through a quarter of the video because it was too disturbing and too awful to think about how frequently such plot points are used till today and how so much of the shitty love we see on screen is completely abusive in nature (he’s also made another video called Stalking for Love which I’m sure is as eye-opening, i haven’t watched it cos i don’t need to lol, i’m already woke thanks), but anyway the bit that I did manage to watch does remind me of this stupid love story from The Good Place that we’re supposed to be moved by. We’re seriously supposed to believe that Janet, through her reboots and whatever awakenings of consciousness she supposedly has, also has feelings for Jason just because he’s the only pathetic dumbass immature enough to think that he has feelings for her because she’s the only person who’s willing to listen and talk to him properly? When ummmm she’s only listening to you because she’s programmed to...?

Honestly I can't be bothered to talk about freaking Janet and Jason anymore

There are other things that suck about this dumb show

I don't know what kind of character development Eleanor (protagonist) goes through in the seasons that succeed that I shall never be audience to, but she remains unlikable in almost every way in season 1. This is even though the entire premise of the plot is that she learns to become a better person with each day, struggling to distance herself from her past (on earth) where she was every caricature of a selfish, cruel, demeaning, unlikable person ever. The few and short flashbacks we get to her earthly past are so annoyingly annoying that it made it almost impossible for me to continue to care for this charatcer her in her afterlife. I know, being in the profession that i am, i should have a great deal more empathy for her and where she's coming from (and i would if the show was not so fucking shitty), so i'm not hating on the fact that she was such a bad person, more so that the creators of the show did little to give us anything real to hold on to at all. Between boringly unreal dialogue, stilted acting typical of American sitcoms, overly defined character traits again typical of dated, unchallenging and unsophisticated American sitcoms, I honestly can't understand how on earth this is rated 97% on rotten tomatoes... I mean I guess if I actually read the reviews I'd understand but hehe I'm not about that open-minded, balanced POV narrative okie? :)

----------

Updates: Haha so ummm eventually I was too bored / curious so I decided to give this show like it’s fourth chance or something and eventually I ended up finishing the entire series and yes I cried as fuck and yes this series made me feel many feels and no I shall neither take back anything of what I said above nor clarify how or what made me change my opinion on it nor elaborate on why I ended up rather enjoying it :-) bye bye

[theheavymetalmama]

If they did do a direct sequel to their animated Planet Hulk movie, what would you want to see to have it fit the tone set by the previous film? Like I'd want them to keep Miek as a loyal friend to Hulk and not have him turn out to be the traitor responsible for everything. It'd be very contrary to how he was written in the first movie.

That’s a very good question.

Right off the bat, making a faithful adaptation of World War Hulk while staying true to the tone of the Planet Hulk movie would be no easy task. While the Planet Hulk movie was by no means a jokey affair full of laughs and banter, it was also far from a hopelessly bleak angst-fest. Those who watched it would expect the same from a World War Hulk movie, but with raised stakes, so starting off with Sakaar getting utterly annihilated with 99% of all life being wiped out and chief among them Hulk’s new wife and their unborn son may be a bit extreme.

But here’s the thing. Stuff like Sakaar blowing up, the X-Mansion getting destroyed again, and so on are just aesthetic plot details. You can tell a story that captures the spirit of World War Hulk without following the comic panel for panel and line for line. Yes, nobody likes it when people muck about with the source material, but translating a story from book to movie is no easy feat and some things that work in a book won’t always work in a movie. Not to beat a dead horse, but look at the difference between Dawn of Justice and Civil War. Dawn of Justice borrowed a lot, a LOT of elements from The Dark Knight Returns, from the anti-Superman suit to several scenes and lines lifted directly from the book itself. In contrast, the Civil War movie only borrows a few bare plot details from the comic and does it’s own thing, which many would agree was for the best because the comic wasn’t very good. I don’t think you need me to tell you which one was the better movie. No, I’m not saying that’s always the case, but it was the case there.

The same goes for World War Hulk. In fact, removing some of the more problematic and questionable choices made in the book when making the movie would probably be for the better. Yes, we all know why World War Hulk was made in the first place. Civil War had just come to a close and everything was a freaking mess. Tony Stark just underwent one of the biggest character assassinations this side of Superman in The Dark Knight Returns, Steve Rodgers actually was assassinated, Spider-Man’s life was more of a chemical plant dumpster fire than usual, and everyone else was acting like assholes. At the time, the Marvel Universe needed a good kick in the ass and the Hulk was just the guy to wear the boot.

So for the movie? Do the opposite of the comic book opening. Under the rule of King Hulk and Queen Caiera the Oldstrong, Sakaar is thriving. Plants are growing, rivers are flowing, people are farming crops and raising weird alien livestock, basically the whole planet is coming back to life. Only instead of Hulk’s pod blowing open, while Hulk and Caiera stand on a hill overseeing the progress. You know the routine, she says he saved the planet, Hulk laments that he only breaks things, she says the planet is alive because of him and that she’s pregnant now, yeah you know the routine. That night, after a brief reintroduction of the characters from the previous movie (Korg, Miek, etc) maybe during a dinner scene or something, Hulk and Caiera lay peacefully in their bed. Out the window however you can see a bright light flashing in the sky, which is quickly revealed to be a ship coming out of hyperspace. Stirred awake by the sudden commotion, Hulk and Caiera get dressed, ready to investigate.

We cut to the ship coming in for a landing, where upon closer inspection it’s a Ravager ship that appears to have been damaged in a battle, and it comes to an uneasy landing just outside a farming village. Yes, you already know where I’m going with this. As some villagers go to investigate the ship, the pod-bay door opens up to reveal none other than the Guardians of the Galaxy. Only they’re a bit shaken. Star Lord has his arm in a sling, Gamora has a bandage over her eye and a leg injury that forces her to use her staff for support, Drax is bruised and battered like he just lost a boxing match in a Rocky movie, Rocket is perched on Groot’s shoulders because both of his legs are broken, and Groot looks less like a walking, talking alien tree and more like a walking, talking alien tree that just stepped out of a forest fire. It’s obvious both from their condition and that of the ship that they just got back from a battle that didn’t go in their favor and they barely escaped. As they step out of their ship and the villagers draw in closer, Star Lord breaks the silence.

“Where’s the Hulk?”

Right on cue, the Hulk lands almost directly in front of them, Caiera landing next to him and the rest of the arena-buddies catching up. Before anyone can say “There he is,” Hulk says that they seem to know him but he’s never seen them before. Of course, Peter Quill steps in and says that there’s another name they may know him by...Star Lord! It gets the reaction you’d expect, Hulk’s friends exchanging confused glances before Korg or someone says “Sorry...who?”

Before Star Lord can voice his disappointment, Gamora steps in saying that they don’t have time for this. She informs everyone, talking directly to the Hulk, that the Earth is in turmoil and they need his help. Heroes are fighting among themselves, villains are running amok like they own the place, and the world itself is on the brink of a world war as the governments and military are helpless to stop them. Hulk takes this about as well as you’d imagine, but being a good king he offers the guardians a place to heal and fix their ship, but also warns not to overstay their welcome. All the same, he refuses to help a planet that banished him, finishing with that if they want someone to set the heroes straight then they should call Captain America.

Silence, as the guardians exchange somber, stoic looks.

“We can’t.” Star Lord says in a low voice. “Cap’s dead.”

And that’s about as far as I’m willing to go story-wise and this post is getting a little too big, so I’ll sum it up from here. Eventually the Hulk decides to Help and returns to Earth and, what happens there? Well, it’s World War Hulk! From there, the Hulk and his buddies beat the super-snot out of the heroes and villains of the Marvel Universe with increasing scale and spectacle. He trashes the X-Men, he mows through the Fantastic Four, he battles Tony not just in his Hulkbuster armor but his entire armory, House Party Protocol style! Maybe a few of the heroes join him, like She-Hulk or Spider-Man. Maybe Ghost Rider shows up, maybe you throw Kamala Kahn in there because she’s got quite a fanbase now, but in any case it has to end with the Hulk fighting the Sentry, who we find out has been completely taken over by the Void and his evil influence is why the heroes are fighting in the first place. Only whereas in the comic the fight ended at a stand-still, this time it needs to end with a definitive winner; and it has to be the Hulk.

Yes, I know, that’s not how the comic ended, but remember many aspects of the comic haven’t aged well and we have to keep the tone on par with the Planet Hulk movie.

And...yeah. That about covers it. Thanks for the question, Ironblood. :)

[you-andthebottlemen]

6 -

Request: “Can you do one where you’re dating someone (maybe even another one of the guys) but you end up falling for Van or something?”

******

“Shall we watch Star Wars?” Benji asked.

You rolled your eyes and he put the DVD on anyway. You used to find his nerdiness cute but now it just frustrated you because he’d never want to do anything else. He always stuck to a routine. Whether that be only watching Star Wars or only drinking that fucking Tito’s vodka. 

You liked him though, a lot. He just got on your nerves lately was all. You'd originally met him in a bar only a few months ago and just hit it off instantly. You were friends for a little while but it all moved pretty fast. He soon asked you out and because you got on so well, you thought you may as well give dating a go.

"Do you think maybe we could watch a movie I like?" You asked and he looked confused.  

“But you like Star Wars?” 

“Yeah, but we never do anything I like. You never show any interest in anything I do. It’s always about you and you never try anything new.”

Benji gave some half hearted response and you started to get into an argument when suddenly the door bell rang. You got up and opened the door angrily.

Van stood there looking like a happy puppy dog but his face contorted into a ‘what the fuck’ expression when he saw that you were fuming.

“Shall I come back later?” He asked, pointing behind him with his thumb.

He had a bottle of alcohol under his arm and you thanked the heavens it wasn’t Tito’s vodka. 

“No, it’s fine. Come in,” and you ushered him through the door into Benji’s flat. “Give me that.”

You pulled the bottle out from his grip and opened it on the spot.

“You okay?” Van questioned quietly.

“Peachy keen Van, peachy fucking keen...”

Benji had turned off the film and he gave off no signals that you’d just had a fight. He bro hugged Van hello and they started chatting about some football match. You laughed to yourself over the irony that Van could pick up on your emotions better than your own boyfriend and you’d only met him a few times. 

As the night went on, you grew more distant from Benji, hardly speaking to him. You knew you were being unfair but you just felt like the relationship was crumbling already. 

This was the first time you’d hung out with just Van and Benji. You couldn’t help but laugh loudly every time Van made a joke and you could see Benji hurting inside. You felt bad but you weren’t going to censor yourself for his sake. 

The boys sat on the couch drinking and chatting though Van was by far the more animated one. You lay on the floor drawing, your legs crossed and in the air. Art was your passion, in particular, pencil sketching. It made you feel calm.

“So y/n, drawing hey? Wish I could do that, I’m total rubbish,” he commented and reached out for a spare piece of paper and pencil.

“Yeah, it’s my thing. I’ve drawn since I was a child. Once I actually won a pretty big art competition in my hometown and my artwork got framed in a local gallery,” you weren’t sure why you were telling him this. 

“I didn't know that,” Benji said, sounding hurt.

“You never asked.”

Van turned around his paper to show you, he’d drawn a sperm with a face and an arrow pointing at it that labelled it “me”. You laughed and shook your head at him.

........

The next day, you texted Van and asked if he wanted to hang out. You knew you probably shouldn’t but hey, you just wanted to be friends? 

He quickly responded with a yes and picked you up from your place a few hours later.

You sat in the front seat of his car sipping on a frozen coke and scrolling through your Instagram feed. He was parked in the McDonalds car park and digging into some nuggets.

“Will Benji mind this do you reckon?” He asked innocently.

“Van. You’re sitting there eating a fucking kid's Happy meal. It’s not like you’re bending me over a table or something,” you shrugged.

Van’s eyes widened and he looked a little shocked at your up-front and deadpan comment. You almost expected him to give some flirty response about how he wouldn’t mind if he was, in fact, bending you over a table...but he had too much respect for Benji to even consider it. For a second you felt a slight pang of disappointment which then turned to guilt. But you quickly pushed it aside and pretended it never happened.

You both laughed and talked about anything and everything. He was crazy, that’s for sure. But in a good way. He told you stories about being on the road and about all the insane stuff that happens. You were almost crying with laughter when he recounted the story of when a grown man crowd surfed completely naked during their set. You wondered why Benji had never told you anything like this. Then you realised; the same reason you’d never told him about your art...you’d never asked.

.......

A few weeks had past and things hadn’t improved between you and Benji. Almost all romance you had was dead and it felt like you were hanging out with your brother. You argued and pissed each other off and the sex had stopped completely. 

“We need to talk,” you said to him one day as he picked you up before you were going to hang out with all the band. 

You sat in his car, knowing full well that after what you were about to say, you’d not be getting a lift with him and you’d certainly not be going to the Mexican restaurant with the lads. 

“I don’t think this is working...we like aren’t even dating anymore? I hang out with you the same way I’d hang out with an annoying sibling and that’s kinda fucked,” you explained.

You’d actually been spending more time with Van than him. And Benji didn’t even care.

“Oh thank God,” Benji sighed, you raised an eyebrow.

“I was planning on telling you I just want to be friends,” he admitted.

“Really?” You asked and he nodded.

“Oh.”

“Think I got a bit swept up in it to begin with? But yeah, sorry,” he said quietly, maybe feeling a little guilty. 

“No, same. Friends?”

“Friends,” he replied, sticking his hand out to you for a shake. 

This was the weirdest yet best breakup you’d ever had.

“So shall we head off then?” And as if nothing had happened, he drove off to dinner. 

You didn’t feel sad about the end of things with Benji. Disappointed yes but not sad. You both agreed to remain friends and you both intended to actually do that. Although you felt nervous about hanging out with the guys. You’d not even spent much time with them anyway and now to be there as some random girl, not Benji’s girlfriend you felt like you were intruding. 

Benji gave you an awkward smile and you both walked into the restaurant. It was dimly lit and decked out in Mexican memorabilia. There were sombreros hanging on the walls and the bar was stacked high with tequila. It was your stereotypical Mexican food and drink joint. 

You spotted Van, Bondy and some other guy you hadn’t been properly introduced to yet but you assumed he was Larry the guitar tech that Van wouldn’t shut up about, sitting over in a booth in the corner. They had drinks already and seemed to be talking, with Van of course, being the loudest. The sight of him made you feel a little more at ease. 

“Heyyyy, look who it is!” Van called when he saw you and Benji, raising his glass in the air. He was drunk already. 

You knew that while on tour they didn’t party much; so when they were back home they went for it. 

The guys got up and Benji said a quiet hello, they all kissed your cheek politely and Van gave you a proper hug as well. Everyone shuffled seats and you ended up next to Van which you were happy about. 

“So, you know how you’re like a proper artist yeah?” He said.

He had his elbow on the table facing you and his chin resting lazily on his hand. 

“I wouldn’t say that but yes sure,” you responded with a smirk, it was fun talking to drunk Van.

“I was thinking like, you could do some drawings for the band maybe? We need a logo for our next album cover. I was thinking something with an alligator or somethin’...” Van rambled.

You smiled and listened to him talk about his plans for the album artwork. You knew you’d never actually do it for him but it was sweet he thought of you.

Soon, Bob arrived and sat next to you at the head of the table with his camera. He was the quietest of them all, even more so than Benji and that say’s something. You spoke to him a lot actually, about art and what not. He showed you some of his photos on Instagram and you followed each other. He also snapped a quick photo of you and Van couldn't help but photobomb. You were excited to see it when Bob got the film developed.

“So, me and Larry had this bet that you and Benji would arrive late because you’d be fucking or something...you damn love birds,” Bondy said in a jokey way. 

But he was obviously serious as Larry handed him over a ten-pound note with a look of disappointment and resentment. Bondy snapped it up with a smirk. 

You felt intense awkwardness wash over you, not because they’d been talking about you and Benji fucking but because you’d just broken up and it wasn’t even obvious to them. "Love birds" my ass, you thought. Benji sat in silence. All eyes were on you. You noticed Van had a weird look on his face.

“I...we...umm,” you looked at Benji for help.

“We broke up lads,” he said.

“What the fuck?” Bondy questioned in shock.

“We thought we were better off as friends,” Benji responded, looking down at the table with a small shrug.

No one said anything, they just stared at you. It was obvious they were confused about why you were there, despite the fact they liked you so much. Suddenly your heart was racing and you felt extremely embarrassed. You regretted coming tonight, you knew it was a mistake. You excused yourself from the table, pushing past Bob and walked quickly towards the toilets.

Oh fuck, you thought. You stood with your hands on the sink, putting all your weight on it and staring at your reflection in the mirror. You let out a breath of air and evaluated your options: 

1. Just fucking leave right now and don’t look back.

2. Go back out and say bye and then leave. Probably embarrassing yourself further.

3. Go back out and pretend it’s fine and not weird (which it definitely wasn't fine).

You’d also just made it worse by literally running away instead of smoothing out the awkwardness in the moment. Great. As you repeated a fair few swear words in your head, the door opened and you snapped up straight with a fright.

It was Van.

“You can’t be in here, this is the ladies,” you said.

“Do you think I care?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

You sighed and smiled, leaning so your back was against the sink now. Van walked over to you and pulled you into a hug. The intimacy felt warm and normal. You’d become a lot closer than you’d realised over the last few weeks. You leaned into him and it felt good to have him close. 

“What’s the matter love?” He said, pulling away.

You started to rant about how things had been with Benji lately and how you weren’t feeling awkward because of the break up so much as you were about hanging out with the guys after their reaction before.

“I feel like now, they’re gonna think I’m some weird girl who doesn’t fit in. I mean really, I have no reason to hang out with you all, or even for coming tonight. I shouldn’t have. I feel stupid. Me and Benji only dated like two months, that’s nothing. It’s very clear I can’t stay, it’s like I’m on the outside...” you gushed. 

“It’s like I’m on the outside....” Van mumbled under his breath, pulling out his phone and quickly making a note. 

You knew he did that when he had lyric ideas, you’d become used to that little habit of his. You smiled and wondered what song it’d end up in. 

“Wanna get out of here?” He asked simply. 

“But the guys? Won’t they think it’s weird we are just leaving together?”

“We can go out the back way, they won’t see us,” Van replied, taking your hand and leading you out of the toilet and through the ‘staff only’ door and eventually into the car-park. You loved that his drunk brain somehow though that leaving without being seen together would somehow prevent the other’s from joining the dots. You went with it.

He was too drunk to drive so he hoisted you up and piggybacked you up the street. He made jokes and sang songs badly, to try and get your mind off things. It worked. You felt ridiculously happy.

When you got too heavy for him, he set you down and you both sat on the roadside gutter. You rested your head on his shoulder and he put an arm around you.

"I love Benji an all, but you're way too good for him," Van admitted, breaking the silence. 

You sat up, unsure of what he meant and whether or not it was just his Mexican cocktails talking. 

"You're like really something," he continued and moved some hair out of your face, staring at you with total stars in his eyes.

"You're really something too," you whispered.

Before you had time to think, Van moved his hand from tucking your hair behind your ear to holding your jawline gently and guided your face to his. He kissed you softly, softer that you expected he would have. He was waiting for your reaction. 

You kissed him back urgently and wrapped your arms around his neck. He pulled you onto his lap and you broke the kiss, laughing.

"Oi, what's funny?" He asked. 

"I broke up with my boyfriend today, who is your bandmate, and now I'm kissing you in the gutter when you're completely drunk off your head," you kept one arm around his neck and with your other hand, pulled his golden necklace out over his shirt. “Am I not like, taking advantage of you?” you questioned awkwardly.

"No, don’t be daft. Was it a good kiss?"

"Yes..."

"Then there you have it y/n. Wanna go on a date with me sometime?"

You rolled your eyes at him and kissed him again. Somehow you and Van just made sense and you felt completely comfortable with him. You didn't want to let him go. You pushed the thought of Benji and the guys out of your mind and only thought of Van. You'd deal with reality tomorrow. 

"I'd love to go on a date with you," you told him and he picked you up and carried you all the way home. 

[myvelouri]

I'm feeling really bad, now I'm thinking of old friends

There was this one girl in my government class in college. She sat behind me. This is when I was like, really better looking, I had a good weight, and I was taking care of myself, everything was aligned okay lol. Anyway. She sat behind me. One day I went to class and the door was closed. She was sitting in the hallway by herself. Waiting for the professor to get there. I was the only other person there. I asked her something, and she said yeah the professor isn't here. I sat next to her on the floor. She started joking with me and we hit it off. Well, actually, she said this before anything else "hey, I've just been wanting to say... Your hair is amazing, I see it everytime and I'm like omg it's so awesome" hahaha. Yeah she was being friendly and jokey after that. I was too. I wasn't entirely sure she was flirting or not. But we sat there until the time you're allowed to leave if the professor hasn't showed up! What like 15 minutes after class is supposed to start? Yeah so we were like, lol we can go now. So I literally cannot remember if it was her or me who asked to get coffee! But we went to the campus food area. And we sat, drank, and talked forever, joking around, I believe she talked about Tumblr and talked about this annoying guy in her class. And she was so fucking funny. She was such a dork. Very meme-y if that makes sense. So as we talked she mentioned she had a girlfriend. But it's fine, I was enjoying the conversation, we ended up talking about deeper things. I went into my depression even though I kinda didn't want to. She was extremely supportive. I got her number and I would run into her all the time. Yeah she's really attractive too, I thought she was a genuine person. I texted her every now and then and it was fine right

Well recently, err, earlier this year, I texted her and we joked a bit like old times. Then I asked her if she wants to grab a drink and talk nonsense.

Her response was so unlike her. She said "sorry dude, I'm seeing someone and I don't drink"

I was thrown off by that. I told her I wasn't hitting on her and that I just wanted to goof around because I hadn't seen her in a while and that I apologize for being inappropriate (I didn't think I was?)

And she said "it's cool, I getcha"

And a few days later I asked her if she wanted to get something to eat instead and she just ghosted it ever since. We haven't talked since.

I don't know what happened... Actually, when we hung out before she was seeing someone too... Why is it any different if she's seeing someone again? If she's okay with hanging out since that's how we met haha.

I don't know. I'll respect her boundaries. I haven't tried anything since then

But I'ma say my feelings definitely are hurt by that. It doesn't feel like her and I feel sorta scolded or something. I don't know. I liked her because she was one of the few people who were genuine and that's hard to find honestly. Now I feel like she doesn't even like me, I feel like something just died. Not in a heavy way, no no, I just mean, It feels like our friendship ended abruptly out of nowhere and I don't know why.

I make friends all the time. But I still am the type of person that doesn't delete people, I swear I'm real as fuck. So if people go away, I get a little sad. It affects me in some way.