#sorry for the clunky format

[silverloreleysfanfics]

As promised, here’s a sneak peek of the Encanto/Descendants fic that came out this headcanon and this discussion with @dragoneyes618.

Actually, I decided to put two. It’s all still in draft form, mind you, so no polishing nor grammar check or else, and full of holes I have to fill.

First bit is a companion piece of the first part I wrote, same day, Carlos’ fifth birthday, but on the Isle.

The second is a part of the first discussion between Carlos and Bruno. In my fic, Cruella kicked Bruno out when Carlos was small, but Bruno decided to stay in the secret passageways and rooms of the mansion, earning the fame of “the Green Ghost of Hell Hall“. Carlos had no idea until after Ben suggested the VKs to look for relatives who could legally take custody of them in Auradon and Cecil, Cruella’s brother, decided to tell Carlos about Bruno and how to find him. Hence the first proper conversation between father and son. Also, in my ‘verse, Encanto is in Avalor, so the people of Encanto were running from Shuriki’s soldiers when the Miracle happened.

It’s long, so, all under cut:

bit 1

Carlos would turn five the next day.

If they had been at Casita, he'd have his gift ceremony that night. A new outfit sewn for the occasion, music and special food, lights and flowers and then his own room, big and spacious, filled with anything he may need, and a gift, a magic of his own that would make his life brighter.

As things were, Carlos never had a single piece of clothing that had not belonged to someone else or was the result of recyclying, the food he'd eat would be the same as ever, unhealty and moldy and rotten, flowers didn't grow on the Isle and under the Barrier there was no magic, so it was unlikely a gift could show up.

Oh, Bruno was praying for it to come all the same. For anything. A small thing, even one like his, seeing the future could actually be useful on the Isle, he could threathen people with it or skirm out of danger if he knew it in advance. Or one like Pepa's, being able to control even a bit the weather could make him needed and dangerous both, and if he got one like Julieta's even the inedible food would heal him and keep him healthy, the Lord knew the boy needed it. Growing plants like Isabela's could be good for defense and growing food and he was almost sure Luisa's must have had to do with physical strenght, that would be optimal on the Isle, but really, anything would do.

As long as something came.

As long as the Miracle could get there and protect the - currently - youngest Madrigal child a little bit.

As long as gifts weren't restricted to children who lived inside Casita because, sure as hell, Carlos couldn't be farther from Casita and a room of his own and the ceremony he should have.

Because he should have one. He should have a good gift and his own room in a good home and get it all that very night.

But life can be unfair. It surely was to the Isle kids, who more who less.

Instead of having a party, even a meager one as there could be one on the Isle, Carlos would spend the entirety of his fifth birthday alone, dragging around his malnourished body, his mother's screeches would bring tears to his eyes, and he'd end the day lying on the floor of a fur closet riddled with bear traps without even the small comfort of a pillow, like any other day in the little miserable life of an Isle Kid.

Unfair.

But, as it often happened, bad things could get worse.

In fact, Carlos had been a little sluggish for the better part of the day, and it was sheer luck Cruella was having a creative fit aka the only time she left the kid alone and completely forgot the rest of the world. It also meant she didn't bother giving him food, but Carlos was smart enough to get some himself, thanks the Lord.

It was in the late evening, while mending a hole in the old robe he found in the abandoned chest in the attic, he guessed one that used to belong to one of the previous de Vil masters if not to Baron Hellman even, that Bruno was alerted by the rats who jumped up and down to get his attention. It didn't seem it was because one of them had had a skirmish with Beelzebub, Carlos' kitten he received when he attended the Evil Queen's daughter's birthday, but something just as urgent. Something involving Carlos, for sure.

Bruno immediately dropped everything and ran to see what was the matter. The inside of the closet was dark, Carlos must have not dared to turn on the light, but Bruno had no doubt the boy was crying. He had become far too accustomed to the sound of his son's tears for his liking to mistake it.

It broke his heart every time and tonight even more so, knowing what a special day the following would be. Perhaps Carlos knew too and that was the reason of his despair.

But no, there was something wrong in his crying. It was hoarse, riddled with small hiccups and moments when it seemed he was out of breath, peppered with tiny coughing fits.

Something was very wrong.

His eyes accustomed to the darkness enough to let him see Carlos' eyes were completely shut so he risked to stick his head a bit out the vent to get a closer look. It didn't take an expert to figure out the boy was both feverish and out of consciousness.

With less hesitations, Bruno climbed down. The fur closet was a bit cramped with all the bear traps riddling the floor and he had to manuever himself quite a bit to go check Carlos' temperature without setting any off.

The boy was sweating and burning, his nose was runny and there were some spots on the side of his head, next to his ears.

"Oh, no" Bruno thought as he crossed his chest thrice "Nonono, this can't be" He had heard of it from Horace and Jasper, who were discussing it a few days before: the Isle was swept by an epidemics that hit mostly children. It was as well as harmless for adults but could be very bad for kids. Jace, Jasper's son, had gotten it and they suspected Harry, Horace's son, did too, so the two brothers had been kicked out the respective homes to get supplies to aid. Of course, the two had ran to Cruella to inform her and ask her help, she had ordered them to keep their "furless mutts" away from Carlos, least he caught that too and couldn't do his chores. So much for motherly concern.

Clearly, it had not been enough. The symptoms, especially the blotched spots near his ears, were unmistakable, Bruno was sure Carlos had contracted it. He didn't know what to do. Julieta had always been the one with the remedy for any ailment, he couldn't remember what did the family do before she got her gift. Bruno tried to reign in his panic. If he panicked, no one would help Carlos, he just knew, at least until Ella came out her creative fit she would not react even to bombs, and there was no way to know when that would happen.

"Focus" he scolded himself.

Carlos was ill, ill people needed care. Doctor, he had to find a doctor. But on the Isle of the Lost, who could be trustworthy? Medicines, then. There was none in Hell Hall, but if the illness was spred to all the Isle, there had to be someone out there who'd have something.

So there Bruno went, setting foot outside the walls of Hell Hall for the first time in two years, with no little amount of knocking on wood and finger-crossing and so forth, hoping and praying he could go back without troubles with the cure for his suffering son. § Dr Facilier wasn't a real doctor, but he was the closest thing the Isle had besides the witches - and Bruno wouldn't go anywhere near the witches - and the only one who required a fair enough price for his expertise.

Not to mention, Faciler was a father, and one of the few ones around there who actually cared for his kids: when the epidemics started, Faciler started to work on a cure, afraid as he was he could lose his daughters to it, and now he had perfected the only effective treatment of the whole Isle of the Lost.

It had been Will Baker to tell Bruno that much, two of his kids had taken it and were now better, both Anthony and Ava had recovered at good pace and even Drusilla, the newborn of Drizella, had been miraculously saved by the concoction the voodoo master sold, after the witches had told them there was nothing to do for a child this small.

[...] "As for the payment..."

Bruno hesitated for about two seconds before pulling out the ring from his pocket. It was a real emerald, as far as he knew, one of the few real jewels left in Hell Hall. He knew it was techically stealing - he begged the Lord for forgiveness and promised he would make penance - but on the other hand, wasn't he using the family fortune for one of its members? Carlos was a de Vil, technically the heir of the family, that was for him. Bruno was only a proxy, and for a good reason.

If Cruella wouldn't move a finger for her son, so lost in her own mind she didn't even realize Carlos was ill, he would.

Facilier's eyes narrowed at the gem, studying it "May I ask where did you get this from, my friend?"

"It's my wife's" not a lie, Bruno was already committing enough sins to add lies to the pile "Is it not enough?" he worried, like an afterthought.

"It's adequate" Faciler replied, holding out his long fingers to get the item. Bruno took it back, clutching it to his chest "The cure first"

The other man rolled his eyes "Of course, I am a gentleman. My deals are always paid for on both sides"

His hand's shadow detached from the wall and brought a little vial of opaque glass in which it could be barely seen the slushing of some dense liquid.

"Two drops thrice a day for a child, five for an adult. Only one if the child is younger than two" the Shadow Man recited, the tone of one who repeated the instructions ad nauseam.

Bruno looked at the vial, offered by the unbodied hand, then took it and gave it the ring in exchange "Thank you"

Facilier laughed, the shadow put the piece of jewelry in his pocket "It's been a while since I heard that last. You must be a slow learner, Mr de Vil"

Bruno jumped in his skin "How...?"

"From a future-teller to another, let me give you some free advice: don't show how meek you are, unless it's to deceive others. Kindness is weakness down here. Now go, your boy's waiting"

[...] Carlos didn't get a gift, not that night nor the next, but Bruno wasn't thinking about that, not while he was far too busy keeping his boy alive.

The illness could have claimed his life. Any illness could. Carlos was underfed, underweight, had too many chores for his age and a mother who didn't know how to be one, nor cared to learn.

And yet Carlos survived not only that night, and the next, and the whole week, but also the following months and years.

Whether it was thanks to Facilier's medicine, to Bruno's secret care, or a combination of both, he recovered in full. And he kept on living.

And he didn't get ill again, never that badly. Not even when another epidemic swept the Isle a few years later, not when seasonal flues came, or a particularly late barge left the islanders with food even more rotten than usual and accidental poisoning was rampant for a few weeks.

Bruno wasn't sure if he had to thank Facilier, or God, or the Miracle that had somehow found its way to Carlos. He was thankful Carlos was on his way to grow into his teen years, as long as health was involved.

He was still growing slowly, thin and a tad on the weak side - which Bruno blamed on genetics and too little food - but he was growing. And that, on the Isle of the Lost, was a bit of a miracle in itself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bit 2

Carlos tried to remember if he ever saw him. His father had to be really good at disappearing, but...

There were many times Carlos fell asleep before he could finish the chores Cruella gave him, only to find them done in the morning. Times his mother hid the key of the pantry to deny him food and he found some stashed in his closet-room even if he didn't remember leaving it there. Times he got hurt and wasn't sure his bandagings or self-medications were done right, yet discovering with relief they were more than fine after some sleep.

Long nights being ill and imagining someone gave him water and medicine and sang to him now felt a little less fever dreams and a bit more real instances. Pieces for his tech he needed being in the toolbox when they definitely hadn't been there before.

Little things. Silent, almost invisible signs of something - someone - taking care of him despite everything.

He had tricked himself thinking it had been his mother, doing things for him when he wasn't watching, tough love or something, or maybe pity from Jasper and Horace.

This... made more sense.

"I'm not a good father, I know. I'm not good with kids, or with people for that matter, and I didn't know how to live alone out there, just me and you. I always had mamà and Casita and mi hermanes, your aunts, I wanted to take you away when your mom got worse but I didn't know how we would have survived, just the two of us, without help, assuming she would have let me keep you, so I had to let you stay here and this caused you pain, I know. I'm sorry, Carlos"

"You spent years in the walls of Hell Hall just for my sake?"

"Well, after you started going to school I went out a bit too, while you weren't home, mostly"

[...] "What do you even do in here all the time?"

"Lots of things, actually! I sew, clean, do repairs, and I have free entertainment! I write ratanovelas and plays. I used to say my gift was acting, but I'm good with playwriting, if I can say so..."

"You write what?"

"Ratanovelas. Mr Ratigan jr is my top actor, and I'd have more talents if Beelzebub didn't chase away most of them"

"But animals can't speak under the barrier"

"They're very expressive though"

"You've been alone for too long" Carlos smiled "And yet you're still more sane than mom"

"That's not so hard" Bruno grimaced, then flailed his hands "Nonono, forget I said that, I shouldn't teach you to disrespect your elders, especially your mother" Carlos didn't think that respect for elders should mean to never tell the truth, but it was a thought he held deep down, bottled by years of receiving beatings from older kids and adults for running his mouth too smart.

"I don't understand"

"Uh?"

"I mean, you are so... nice. What did you see in mom?"

"I, uh, was among the last to be brought to the Isle, you see. Mi familia did what they could to keep me there as long as possible, but..." he shrugged "I was in the same boat as your uncle Cecil and he said he was going to not be separated from his family, especially his sister. He was fine with me following him and introduced me to many people once here, and talked so highly about his sister I had no reason to think badly of her. We didn't get many outiside news in Encanto and there were lots of people more or less innocent thrown in the last barges. When I met her she was... less bad than now, you know? in the head" he tapped his temple for emphasis "And they made me think her crimes were, like, illegal business practices, I thought that meant tax evasion or fraud, it wasn't that bad compared to murderers and evil magicians. I saw a large familia like mine and they're nice enough when they try and Ella was, uh, she could be be really charming when she wanted to"

"You still call her Ella, like uncle Cecil does" Carlos noted, not without a bit of surprise.

Bruno smiled a bit and lowered his eyes with a tiny shrug "She was my only one, you know? I never had a relationship before, or after. In a way, she'll always be my one, or the woman she was back then will be. I told you, she was different when I met her, a different woman. I thought she loved me"

"Yeah, me too"

"I wish I could say she loves you in her own weird way, but..."

"I know. It's fine, really. I have known for a while, the most precious thing in her life are her furs, not me"

"If it helps, you are mine"

"Your what?"

"Most precious. Person, not thing. Important. Loved. I'm terrible at this, I know..."

Whatever remained of Carlos' anger flew away at that.

[...] "Okay, hear that, Ben asked us if we had more family in Auradon, to get custody of us VKs so we can stay out there without coming back here for holidays and stuff unless we want to"

"That's good! It will do you well. You're already so much healthier since I last saw you, and Julieta's food will do you plenty good..."

"Yeah, but..."

"Oh, no. No, you don't worry about it. Or me. Mi familia, our familia, they'll greet you with open arms. Julieta, tu tìa, will for sure, you can ask for her. Pepa will need a bit to come around but Felix will..."

"How can you be so sure? They sent you away"

"Err... The fears of the villagers sent me away... well, technically the Security Services did, if we want to be precise. Maybe Pepa was still a little upset for the hurricane during her wedding, but I know how much she thundered when I was taken away. Mi familia wanted me to stay and they'll want you too, I saw it!" "I think I missed something"

"You don't know about Encanto?"

Carlos shook his head "I knew nothing about you at all before today"

"Oh, it's, well, it's all about the Miracle. The Miracle made Encanto what it is, it protected our people when they were running from Shuriki's horsemen, you know, Avalor's usurper, by raising mountains around the valley and giving us a safe place to live, and then it made Casita, our magic home. And the same Miracle that makes Casita special gives a gift and a special room to each Madrigal child for their fifth birthday, so we can help the village more. I got visions of the future, Pepa can control weather, Julieta's food can heal next to anything"

"Whoa"

Bruno nodded "I'm not sure what all your primas' gifts are, I'm sure Isabela had to do with plants because in my visions she was always surrounded by flowers and vines, and Dolores has something like good hearing or mind reading? and I think Luisa has strength? I'm not sure about the rest, the visions about Mirabel were, uh, it doesn't matter. Oh, you could get yours too, once there! Or not, I don't know if it could happen only on your fifth birthday..."

Carlos shook his head "That's a lot to unpack"

"Ah, yes, sorry" he seemed to shrink back, the little enthusiasm elicited by talking about his family dissolved in a hearbeat "Anyway, Casita is a great home to live in, you'll be cared for in there"

"If they'll want me"

"They will. They didn't want me to leave, mamà, your Abuela, wanted to have the family close at all times, having you around will make them happy. And I saw it, I saw you in Casita! It was my first vision since I got here, it happened when the Barrier opened during the coronation. You'll be fine, mijo"

[...] "I don't understand" Carlos took one of the props made for the small rat-scenery and twirled it in his fingers "Why are you even here? What did you do to end up on the Isle?"

"It's a bit, uh, complicated. It wasn't things I did on purpose, but people thought I did. Could. It's complicated"

Carlos listened him explain the gift and its working and why the Safety Services decided his place was on the Isle. Too dangerous to be left free.

"But if you can't control the visions it means you're just a spectator, not a wrongdoer"

"That's what I tried to explain! But they didn't listen, they had already drawn conclusions and got King Beast to sign my sentence papers. They also said Pepa's gift was dangerous too, but if I left and the others kept her in check they'll let her off the hook since she could control herself and I couldn't"

"They threathened you?"

He shrugged "It was either just me willingly, or both of us by force, and Dolores was just born and then there would have been no Camilo and Antonio, Julieta and mamà would have been devastated, I couldn't destroy the family by being selfish. I, uh, I love my family"

"You sacrificed for them?"

Bruno shrugged again "I'm just me. The brujo, the black sheep, the useless one. I could foresee things but not how to prevent them, I brought nothing to Encanto. I tried to make myself useful but at the end I gave them only grief. I'm sure they're better off without me"

[...] "No one thought anyone would ever get out the Isle a year ago, and now there are VKs roaming around in Auradon. Have some faith"

"I don't think I would have survived here without faith. I'll hold on, don't worry for me" Bruno shrugged and put something in his hand.

Carlos looked at it and frowned.

"It's salt. You throw it behind you, to ward off bad luck" Bruno explained and proceeded to demonstrate it with a pinch of his own.

"Oh" Carlos scrunched his nose but replicated the gesture.

"Some sugar too would be good, but that's hard to find here, you'll have to make do with salt. I'll keep my fingers crossed"

Okay, maybe he had overestimated how sane his father was.

§§§

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

EVERYONE I just saw the new DRDT twitter post, and I have some things to SAY /pos (if you don't know what I'm talking about, you should probably view this post https://twitter.com/DespairTime/status/1703105596134654210 before continuing on reading this one) ... ... ...You back? Awesome !! First and foremost, gonna take a look at the synopsis

This concept is giving major 999 vibes, I love this already I also really like the shorter number in cast, I don't actually see a lot of fangans with shorter cast and I think that's a shame because I think there is a lot you can do with a shorter cast of 10-12 participants (see Danganronpa Lapse). > eleven students are forced to continue a killing game that they’ve supposedly already started. However, no one can remember the past trials, nor the deaths of their missing classmates. This is the main thing that caught my eye, and it definitely explains the shorter number in cast. And with their memory erased and the way this is worded, it feels almost like this death game that these characters are in has restarted. Like, something went wrong with it, and that resulted in the death game restarted using the eleven students still left. And if that is the case, that makes me wonder about the possible connection this death game could have with DRDT. But I will get to that later. > Between the killing game, their lost memories, and the “NG codes” that restrict their actions, how could anyone escape unscathed? So this is also using the NG Codes from Danganronpa 3? Yet another thing I find very interesting. I so badly want to know more about this cast. Which is why they are the next topic of my insane ramblings !!

Okay before I even get into anything, I just want to say mad fucking props to DRDT Dev for these designs and for their art in general. They have genuinely improved so much since the start of DRDT, and it's so cool to see Second of all

> That is to say, this is a story about a person who wants to become the perfect teacher. So hi, I love you very much first of all Go to a damn barber second of all I am very worried for you third of all /lh (Also my first thought when I saw him was that he reminded me of Enju from Ayakashi Akashi, and I think that's funny)

DRDT-Dev has confirmed that this is the protagonist, so I am already very intrigued with him and what his deal is even though we won't find out for a long time Another fun little thing I noticed was that in all of the art so far out with him has him with his eyes closed. I wonder if that means anything Anyway, I love him, and I am also concerned for his safety for something I will talk about later

As for some smaller observations, given how closely these two are depicted, their fire and ice motifs, and their general simialr appearences. I don't think it's a stretch to say that these two could be sibling, or related in some way. I think that's cool

I've seen a few people say that this person could be Elliot Cuevas, Charles' older brother, and I definitely think that's a fair theory to have. Not just because of the purple hair, but also because of the collar around his neck. What is one of the only details we know about Elliot?

His favorite animal is dogs. And that collar (to me at least, looks very similar to a dog collar. Just something to think about

I have nothing insightful to say, this person is precious and I want to give them ice cream If people start theorizing them to be "secretly evil" istg... /lh /hj The rest of the cast (except one) I have nothing to comment on, so let's get to the main question I am thinking about at this moment Does this project have any connection to the lore of Despair Time?

This wasn't something that was confirmed, nor denied by DRDT Dev, so everything I'm about to say could age awfully. But I think there are a few pieces of evidence that could hint to this project having more relevence to DRDT than it comes across at first glance. Three to be exact. Let's start with the first and most obvious one

This man who is looking very smug at me is wearing a jacket with an XF-Ture Tech logo on it, or at least something that looks the part.

We do not have much information on what XF-Ture Tech as it stands right now. All we know at the moment is that it is a profit tech company that sponsored Min's family when she was younger at the promise that she would become the Ultimate Student in 12 years time, and that they also do "a lot of other things"....whatever the hell that shady sentence means. Due to the lack of information about XF-Ture Tech, there is not much else I can analyse at this moment. But this fact alone does seem to connect this project and DRDT in some way. But obviously that's not all For my second piece of evidence, we go back to that teacher character. Because I swear...there was another, albeit hidden, place where a teacher character was mentioned... Oh yeah !

.....Ohhhhhhh righttt... Teacher man, you're in big trouble. In all seriousness, considering how intricate DRDT-Dev's writing is, I just don't think this could be a coincidence at all and if it is I'll be genuinely surprised. I think this teacher character and the teacher mentioned in the about page's hidden text are the same person. Now that does not exactly answer the big question of who is saying this text. It could be the mastermind of this project's death game, could be another participant in this project's death game, hell the possibility that this is the mastermind of the DRDT cast's death game still isn't really ruled out. But the main point is that I think it's a very big possibility that this teacher and the teacher in the about page's hidden text are the same person. And lastly, I would like to go back to what I said in the beginning: > it feels almost like this death game that these characters are in has restarted. Like, something went wrong with it, and that resulted in the death game restarted using the eleven students still left. If we're following the idea that this is a restarted death game, that honestly gives me the same vibes as a reboot of a television show. Which brings me to my point: What if this death game is also being broadcasted? I feel as though it is definitely a possibility given the summary, but for right now there doesn't seem to be much proof of this idea. _ That's basically all of my current thoughts on this project that DRDT-Dev has shown us. If this does end up becoming the next fangan DRDT Dev releases after the completion ot Despair TIme, I am very excited to see in the future what has been cooking

[a-sketchy]

i need to rank the persona ops but i think i’d have to separate it into two lists based on animation vs song. cause so many songs and ops are mismatched in quality like: p4d’s op is fun but janky as fuck, but dance! is one of the best songs of the bunch, and p3d’s op is soooo pretty and fun but our moment is really forgettable.

pq2 is an underrated top tier in both categories though, there needs to be more appreciation for road less taken in the world.

also im sorry, i know this is a hot take, but tbh i’d rate p5d and p5s and vanilla p5’s ops over p5r’s in both categories. i inexplicably feel so strongly that the p5r op is mid. it’s so underwhelming i just cant find it in me to like it all that much.

p3re’s is an instant high tier, definitely one of if not the best animation-wise, what a fucking stunner oh my godddd. full moon full life is super solid but i can’t help but feel that it evokes a lot of comparison in structure to burn my dread and soul phrase, without being as strong as either. not necessarily worse, not overall, most of my affection for soul phrase is because of exposure rather than liking the song, but the build up in it and burn my dread is just better than full moon full life despite the latter feeling really similar to both. but idk that might just be nostalgia blindness

i’ve just spent significant amounts of the last couple days watching the ops, including listening to the songs on their own and watching the animation on mute, and i have opinions

[pretty-emo-dad]

Asking you about the party dynamics rn

I GUESS IM BREAKING MY PROMISE BECAUSE ILL NEVER BE NORMAL!!!!!!

Okay breaking things down season by season:

Season 1- Will in the upside down, Dustin, Mike, & Lucas trying to find him. Dustin & Mike become separated from Lucas because of the El/Mike/Lucas conflict

Season 2- together at the start, but separated after max is added with Mike & Will and Lucas & Max, and Dustin is with Steve. Before Dustin is with Steve, he’s with Lucas.

Season 3- Will, Lucas, and Mike are together and Dustin is gone at science camp. When he comes back, he feels ignored and goes with Steve again. Will and Mike are being ‘led’ by Lucas.

Season 4- Will is in California, and Lucas, Dustin & Mike are in Hawkins. Mike & Dustin are closer than either of them with Lucas at this point because of the basketball/hellfire situation. Then Mike & Will in Cali and Lucas& Dustin in Hawkins.

So what’s really interesting to me is that Dustin is usually emotionally and also physically separated from the other boys in every season. In season one, he talks to Mike about feeling inferior to the other boys and how he’s not as close as they are because he join the party late. Mike is able to reassure him that they’re all best friends and that’s why him and Dustin are able to stay physically together for the rest of that season.

But in season 2, Max enters the party and creates a love triangle between her, Lucas, and Dustin. Max’s choice is Lucas, Which makes Dustin feel even more inferior to the rest of the party. Because he feels like this, he confides in Steve, who makes him feel more appreciated than before.

Season three is the weirdest season because instead of Mike being the ‘leader’ of the party, Lucas is leading Mike and they kind of just drag Will along with them. Dustin, feeling left out again, is with Steve at this point.

I think that Mike not being his usual self plays into Dustin’s insecurities because when we enter season four, Mike is acting more like his usual self and him and Dustin are closer than either of them and Lucas are.

Mike being the ‘leader’ of the party also contributes a lot to their personal dynamics because we see Mike trying to be a leader without Will (S1), Mike trying to lead Will separate from the others (s2), and then Mike giving up his leadership to Lucas (s3) and Dustin (s4).

When I say that Mike is the leader of the party I don’t mean it in the way that Eddie was the leader of hellfire because their dynamics are very different. Eddie’s hellfire club is more of a club than it is a close-knit group of friends and we can see this and how his D&D table is set up and how he acts as a DM. He has a longer table and sit at the head of the table, where as Mike Has a smaller table where nobody is the head of the table even though he is the DM. Well considering how they act Eddie is a “sadistic” DM and obviously has power over his players, but with Mike he is on more equal footing with the other boys in the party. Even though they look to him as a leader, they are still very equal and don’t feel afraid to check him when he needs it.

We see this in season one, when Lucas feels like Mike is failing as a leader and checks him for discarding what Lucas feels is “really important”. And after they stop arguing, the other boys still look to Mike as a leader again. In season two, situation is a little bit more complicated because of the way that the boys are split up. There’s been many people pointing out how Mike/Will are separate from Dustin/Lucas because of their queercoding. But this isn’t the only way that season two is complicated, it’s also complicated because of the love triangle and how Dustin starts befriending Steve because of that situation.

In season three, we see Mike give the leadership role to Lucas because he knows that Lucas knows more about women than he (and Will) do. The party’s also imbalanced because Dustin isn’t there to act as a mediator between Lucas/Mike and Will. There’s a lot to be said about how the party is when Mike gives up his role as a “leader”, but one of the more interesting things is how Lucas and Dustin differ in handling that leadership role.

In season one, it’s apparent that Lucas feels like he is able to step up as a leader if Mike isn’t doing the best job. We see him fully fulfill that role in season three when Mike asks for his assistance and they end up ignoring will and dragging him along on their escapades. He is more comfortable in the role as leader, likely because of his household role as an older sibling to Erica and because of him being more emotionally mature than even Mike (at this point.) But Dustin isn’t there to balance things out so things still go awry. There’s still a certain level of wrongness because Dustin isn’t present, he isn’t present because he feels inferior, much like Will, to the other boys.

In season four, when Dustin gets that leadership role, he handles it by transferring leadership to Eddie. He lets Eddie teach them and lead them in the way that Mike wants Dustin to do because Mike isn’t able to. This is likely because of Dustin being not only an only child, but also a friend of Steve’s. He’s never really been in a leadership position because he’s always had someone either older or more of a leader to be that for him (which is another part of the reason why he feels inferior to the other boys.) Eddie isn’t a good leader to the boys either, he lets them forget about Lucas even though this is one of the times where they should be sticking together the most. The reason why Mike wants Dustin to be a leader is because he is in a state of depression since Will isn’t there with them.

The party is never at its full potential unless Mike is in a leadership position and every member is present.

Now breaking it down by specific dynamics:

(This part of the breakdown will exclude Will and Mike because they are too complex and need a separate post of their own since yk byler)

MIKE & DUSTIN:

Even though Dustin feels like Mike doesn’t think of him as one of his best friends, it’s very obvious to the audience that when times are hard for Mike he’s closest with Dustin. And season one when Will is away, Lucas and Mike automatically start fighting and Dustin is in the role of mediator between the two. But he still takes Mike’s side because he knows that Mike isn’t reliable on his own. Dustin is a very observant character and most likely caught on to how Mike acts when people don’t need him. This is why when Mike is depressed in season four AND without Will, Dustin steps up to his side.There’s also just them usually agreeing on things when the others don’t. In season one, they both want to help El and in season four, they both want to play DND. This is also part of the reason why in season two, Dustin and Mike get split up. This time they don’t have a common interest in Max and aren’t able to connect like they usually do. 

For them, their relationship at this point is better than Mike’s relationship is with any of the other party members. Dustin is able to provide this unconditional acceptance of Mike. It’s not Lucas or Will’s fault, but Mike feels more accepted by Dustin (even though he knows Dustin doesn’t know about him being queer). Once Mike gets his relationships with Lucas and Will fixed, Dustins insecurity will also be fixed. This is because when Mike isn’t himself he isn’t able to provide Dustin with the reassurance that he would be able to if he was himself. When he fixes his other relationships, he’ll go back to the type of person who can reassure Dustin.

WILL & DUSTIN:

Will and Dustin have had the least explored friendship in the show, but from what we’ve seen Will has been able to reassure Dustin and include him because they both have this feeling of inferiority. They can both relate to feeling like they aren’t enough and like Lucas and Mike are better than them for separate reasons, but they are still able to relate to each other. Some people argue that Will could have also acted as the voice of reason when Dustin, Mike , and Lucas were arguing about the basketball/hellfire thing because he understands Lucas’ point of view more than them; But he wouldn’t have had to because they wouldn’t be in that situation in the first place if he was present.

Even though they have one of the least explored dynamics between the original party, it’s clear that Will and Dustin have similar feelings around being a part of the party. Them both feeling less than the others is a way for them to connect again like they weren’t able to in prior seasons because Will had been at the center of the supernatural things happening around them.

LUCAS & DUSTIN

Dustin and Lucas have the most comedic relationship out of the original party, but they still have other things that contribute to them as deeper characters.In season one, we don’t really see Dustin and Lucas having a dynamic that’s deeper because whenever they do interact it’s them arguing for communication affect or two emphasize how Mike is (at this point )more emotionally mature than the others. In season two, we see them have more of a complex relationship because of Dustin’s jealousy. They’re able to relate to each other and liking Max which makes them a duo for a lot of the second season, but when it’s clear that Max chooses Lucas, Dustin starts isolate himself from the other boys. When he finds dart, he doesn’t tell any of the others about his discovery because he feels left out from the rest of the party. When he befriends Steve, He feels like there’s finally someone who can appreciate him and his intelligence. He continues going to Steve and Eddie whenever he feels like he isn’t getting enough credit from his friends especially Lucas. On Lucas aside, he feels like Dustin doesn’t take things seriously enough for the circumstances that they’ve been in. Lucas’s realistic outlook on life is implied to be formed by him experiencing racism throughout his childhood and having to deal with that. He’s also an older brother to a sister who has also experienced racism, so he goes through life with a realistic outlook because he wants to protect people close to him. When he sees Dustin not have as realistic outlook on life as he(and Mike and Will) do, he feels annoyed because of its unfairness, and because of how easy he feels Dustin has it. Dustin can’t really see this until Billy attacks Lucas, and from then on they are able to reconcile and become friends again. But there’s still some things that need to be worked on in their friendship.

Like I said before, Dustin offers unconditional acceptance to Mike, but he also does this with Will. He isn’t able to provide Lucas with the same feeling because their interest and feelings don’t often align. For them to fix their relationship, Dustin will have to overcome his insecurity and start providing Lucas with the same unconditional acceptance feeling that he provides the others with. Lucas will also have to understand why Dustin constantly feels inferior to the other and understand why he continues to seek out older people to be his friends. He doesn’t feel valued by the others, but especially Lucas because he sees Lucas as better than him. I feel like Lucas and Dustin fixing their conflicts is more likely to happen sooner than Mike and Lucas resolving their issues. Not only because Dustin and Lucas were physically closer than Lucas was with Mike in season 4, but also because Mike and Lucas’ conflicts run deeper with outside pressure influencing their decisions.

WILL & LUCAS

Will and Lucas understand each other on a surface level. It’s clear that Lucas cares a lot about Will and it’s clear that Will cares a lot about Lucas, but since their relationship isn’t shown a lot they have the same vibe that Dustin and Will have. They understand each other because they have both experienced discrimination for things they aren’t able to change about themselves. But one big factor is that everyone knows that Lucas being black is true, though nobody knows that Will being gay is true. I’m season 3, when we see the most of their dynamic, Will is trying to hide his sexuality, but also wants to get back his childhood. He lets himself be dragged along by Lucas and Mike acting straight, even though he knows he isn’t. This differs from Mike who actively seeks Lucas’s advice because Mike is trying to be straight, whereas Will already accepted that he isn’t. He’s also bored of Mike and Lucas because he doesn’t like that growing up. He wants to experience the part of childhood that he missed out because he has been traumatized by Henry. Lucas probably would have understood this if he wasn’t so distracted by Mike needing somebody to fill that leadership role. We see that once the party is back to semi normal, Lucas is able to pay more attention to Will and less attention to what Mike meets because he sees that, realistically, Will is going to be the most affected by the supernatural things going on. I like that Lucas and Will have this understanding of each other, because it shows how Mike and Lucas could have been if Mike was a more open person. This isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy Lucas and Will’s bond for what it is, it’s just interesting that it’s a foil to how Mike and Lucas are.

With Lucas and Will “fixing“ their relationship, the thing I said earlier about how the party needs to be balance really stands out here. This is because in order for Will to not feel left out and for Lucas to not leave out Will, Mike will have to step up again as a leader. With the other things, like well wanting his childhood back, Lucas can understand that. He has already apologize and most likely understood why Will wanted to play DND as much as he did that summer, but again he was distracted by what Mike needed. We also see that in season four he has learned from this because he doesn’t let Mike’s depression stop him from doing what he believes he needs to do for himself. This isn’t to say that Mike is a needy person for being depressed, but it is saying that Lucas is a very loyal and one track minded person, and tends push things to the side when trying to help someone he loves.

MIKE & LUCAS

If you read all of this you’ve probably noticed that I mention Lucas and Mike’s relationship a lot and that’s because they have a lot of issues to address with each other. But most of these issues come from their greater character arcs. like I said earlier, in season one Mike is emphasized to be more emotionally mature than the other boys. There’s a lot of reasons why this makes sense for him in season one but not for the later seasons and most of it boils down to his repression of his own feelings and how he handles the trauma that he’s experienced. But when considering season one him and Lucas being the most emotionally mature of the party causes them to clash a lot. This is because Lucas is emotional maturity comes from having a more realistic point of view on the world and Mike’s emotional maturity comes from his family dynamics. When Lucas meets El he, automatically doesn’t trust her because he’s grown to be wary of strangers. This is very different from Mike because when Mike meets El his first instinct is to take care of her. Mike automatically taken care of El shows that he’s expected to take care of things and his family (@aemiron-main is currently piecing together and analysis of why that is). With this key difference Mike and Lucas end up fighting over the leader ship role. This is only resolved when Lucas is able to accept that Wl isn’t trying to hurt them and when Mike apologizes for being aggressive towards Lucas. They solve that specific conflict but don’t address the underlying motivations that caused the conflict. Lucas does grow to be more trusting of other people because he welcomes Max in season two, but Mike only gets less mature from that point. We don’t see Lucas and Mike fight like they did in season one, but they still have disagreements in season two and season four. And season two Mike is the less trusting one and Lucas is the more trusting one. This is because Lucas has grown but Mike hasn’t . Another factor is Mike’s survivors guilt and not wanting to put Max in danger. In season three we don’t see a conflict between Lucas and Mike because for the most part they’re interest align. But we do see them argue on what’s important. Because Lucas is more realistic and Mike’s survivors guilt , they disagree on how important it is that El uses her powers to fight the Mindflayer. Mike is afraid of losing El again , but Lucas doesn’t understand that because he lacks the guilt that Mike has and only thinks about the situation realistically. That conflict goes unsolved because of how quickly everything else happens. In season four is where we start to see them butt heads again. Lucas’s reason for wanting to play basketball is not only because he enjoys it, but also because he doesn’t want to be bullied. Mike doesn’t seem to care about this even though they have both been bullied, this is because Lucas’s bullying is apart of racism that Mike has never had to experience. Mike wants to go to the game, but he doesn’t want to disappoint Eddie because he idolizes Eddie so much. I get very upset when people imply that Mike doesn’t care about Lucas’s game, because we see that he would have gone if it was on a different day, but he chooses to side with Eddie. This is partly because he feels like he’s already lost Lucas and partially because he needs Hellfire to operate normally. We see each other boys have interest outside of D&D in the show, but never Mike. For him, D&D is the main source of several of his conflicts but also how he keeps himself connected to the real world. Lucas likes D&D, but doesn’t have as strong as an attachment to it, so he can’t see why Mike is this upset about it. It’s also notable that when talking to Eddie, Mike is the most vocal about moving Hellfire because he still wants to be there for Lucas.

Most of Lucas and Mike’s conflicts connect to how they see the world and how they deal with their emotions, in order for them to fix things, they’ll have to conclude their separate character arcs. Lucas and Mike don’t have the advantage that Lucas and Dustin have with being physically close, nor the advantage of having similar experiences like Lucas and Will or Dustin and Mike. They are both very stubborn people but when one falls, the other is there to catch them. It’s very clear that they love and would do anything for each other, but right now they can’t connect in the way they usually are because of how they’re handling their respective traumas. They won’t understand each other until they’re able to talk things out and have an open conversation.

Conclusion:

The original party is a very interesting core dynamic because while there are power dynamics, everyone is the party is equal. Wills was right about Mike being the heart of the party, he needs to learn from previous seasons in order to fix many of the broken relationships in the party. This isn’t to say that he’s fully at fault, because he isn’t, but they still rely on him as a leader. They all have things to figure out for themselves, but they’re always there witch each other when they need it. They have all the small conflicts that will eventually need to be solved, but their bond is one that’s unbreakable. They need each other, and I’m really excited to see what season 5 gives us in regards to them!!

[stuckinamok]

That moment when someone comments on your incomplete fic that you last updated...a year ago... and there are still only 3 chapters so far........ 🫣

[thecindercrow]

15, 68 and 100 from your spotify wrapped, please! (zero judgements)

15. See Me Now - Ryan Keen

When we met again I changed, I didn't want to cause you more pain You brought back how I first felt, made me want to start us again. But you were holding something back I could tell by that you'd act. You wanna tell me but you didn't really dare cause you couldn't really bare to see me react.

68. The Lament of Eustace Scrubb - The Oh Hellos

Brother, forgive me We both know I'm the one to blame When I saw my demons I knew them well and welcomed them

100. Do Not Let Your Spirit Wane - Gang of Youths

Do not let this thing you got go to waste Do not let your heart be dismayed It's here by some random disclosure of grace From some vascular, great thing Let your life grow strong and sweet to the taste 'Cause the odds are completely insane Do not let your spirit wane

[collgeruledzebra]

listened to the tdir audio drama yesterday for midwinter... pretty good overall. didn't love some of the casting (why did the rider need to sound like dracula with a cold) and often felt that the sound design was overdoing it a bit but at least it did follow the story faithfully. also liked that it leaned in somewhat to the moral greyness of the light, I find the portrayal of both the light and the dark throughout the books as having a very 'end justifies the means' philosophy quite interesting. i'd give it 8/10 will most likely be listening again next year

[snepfeathers]

their sonas Juniper (big wolf) and Terra (dragon sabercat) are super cool and fun and you should draw theeemmm, just saying ;P

IT'S @bigandsoft 's BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

EVERYBODY WISH THEM A HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAYYYY 🎉🎊🎈🎂🎁🎆🎃🐉💙💚

[the-s1lly-corner]

What its like kissing the creepypasta characters

excluding the characters that im not comfy writing romantic for, for obvious reasons similar to the hugging post this is more so a rating thing instead of actual scenarios! honestly in love with these kinds of posts so im formally asking you guys to give me ideas in this vein because i love making hcs in this format/for general stuff eheheheh

SLENDERMAN:

if youve been on this blog for a while, you would know that i love when characters who dont have mouths/have nontraditional mouths nuzzle and press their face into yours. and i still love the idea, especially with slenderman ! the first time he 'kisses' you its probably the first time hes kissed ANYONE so the movement itself is probably a little... clunky... doesnt press too hard, actually i think he would struggle with the opposite. theyre gentle and fleeting, almost as if his inhuman strength and size would crush you if he let himself truly lean into it. i mean think about it, he hardly ever interacts with humans and when he does its for 'food', he has always only seen them as vulnerable and fragile. and whether malicious or not, he treats you as if youre made of glass. likes kissing the back of your hands too. 7/10, he gets bonus points since hes my fav + its the thought that counts

SPLENDORMAN:

very eager about showing you any level of affection, probably early in the relationship that he gets bold enough to kiss you. first kiss is probably more of a "in the moment" thing than "i planned this out and im going to ask" thing if that makes sense... similar to slenderman in regards that he presses his mouth to you, as i personally headcannon that his smile isnt exactly.. a real mouth, more so a false one. think like a layer of 'skin' covering his real one that he can rip out at any moment (same case for slenderman btw. same also apply to splendors eyes, more so markings than actual eyes). going back to his energy, hes very eager about it, might even lightly push you back with how much hes putting into it; he doesnt mean to, hes just so excited! likes cheek kisses and nuzzling your noses together 8/10

EYELESS JACK:

very wary about kissing you outside of those little pecks, for multiple factors. for one, his teeth. sharp teeth, he can accidentally cut you. other reason thats much darker, given that admin personally hcs that he goes into "frenzies" when hes hungry and reacts to blood like the sharks in finding nemo, if he accidentally cuts you when hes not.. well fed.. for lack of a better term... theres a risk there. REFUSES to kiss when he needs to go 'hunt' soon, not because he doesnt want you or your affection, but he doesnt want to take any risks. outside of that, he doesnt often seek out affection, so youre probably going to have to initiate it, unless hes feeling particularly clingy that day or jealous... hes very cold, please cup your hands on his face and warm him up. likes kissing your lips 6/10

LAUGHING JACK:

has to lean in at an angle in order to not poke you with his nose. has probably accidentally lightly scratched you with it when he got too excited. likes giving you forehead kisses for this reason because you can just angle your head down and he can go to town like that... sometimes leave lipstick marks on you.. if you personally hc that he can take off his makeup then please offer to fix it! hes going to be absolutely over the moon! likes wrapping his arms around you when he kisses you. does lots of kisses in quick succession rather than singular longer ones. probably wakes you up with kisses and greets you with kisses when you come home 8/10 i love him

MASKY/TIM:

nope, sorry. for masky hes not going to be taking off the mask around you at all. so if you want a kiss youre going to have to kiss the mask. though on rare occasions when youre alseep/half awake he will lift up his mask just enough to reveal his mouth and give you a kiss on your face. no particular place that he prefers to kiss you. though as said, its rare when he does this. in fact its not common for masky to seek out affection unless he feels more possessive of you than usual, be it because hes jealous or you are stress or you were just in a dangerous situation. 5/10, not much action but there is still care behind it

now as for tim... i think he would be more willing to give you kisses. probably gives you a quick one before you leave for work or something else, and greets you with one when you return home. thats a sweet thought, i think. more likely to give kisses during cuddle session, tends to kiss your cheek and neck (non sexually) while hes holding you to his chest. ponders. will give you a look if you mess with his sideburns and start giggling 6.5/10 love this man

HOODIE/BRIAN:

hoodie is a little more willing to lift up his mask around you, but only really up to the bottom of his nose. also has no preferred place to kiss you, but he seems to kiss your lips more than the other parts of you. sometimes his facial hair scratches against your skin and tickles. between him and brian i think hoodie is a little more blunt and serious about kissing. not to say hes not a little playful, love me some vaguely playful s/o hoodie hcs. probably picks you up off the ground too to 'trap' you, especially if youre fairly shorter than him (personally hc brian/hoodie is 6'') 7/10 love him

very similar to hoodie but i think he would be even more playful when it comes to you. leans into it when his facial hair starts tickling you, in fact i think it would devolve into him just tickling your sides. funny man. put him in the corner/j. like lj, he likes wrapping his arms around you when kissing you, this man is very into physical touch. will touch you any chance he gets; hand holding, cuddling, hugs, ect ect ect... sometimes starts smiling when you guys kiss so you have to give him a minute because he just has this huge grin on his face 8/10

PUPPETEER:

so you know how i said in the hugging post hes kind of a little shit? you know, literally basking in the fact that youre giving your time and self to him? i think that still applies here, maybe even more so since this is explicitly romantic. likes teasing you if you get flustered during your make out sessions, sometimes bombards you with kisses just to see your face redden... has probably leaned down and tapped his cheek as a silent yet teasing gesture, as if taunting you, letting you be the one to kiss him this once. also very cold, like physically. what being a spirit does to a mf. VERY tall, can easily evade any retaliation you throw his way (ie returning the favor of bombarding him with kisses), though im not sure how long he'd be able to resist.. 6/10

[blumagrose]

Some writing practice lol

There was a saying in Iacon.

"Some bots were just created lucky."

D-16 had never known anything beyond the mines. Had never once defied the rules, like Orion, and had never once tried to venture beyond what he knew.

D couldn't blame Orion for his curiosity; there were times when he was tempted to know more. When he got to ride on the trains, his gaze was always drawn to the windows, watching the landscape change from the dark confines of the mines to the golden glow of the city, with shimmering buildings, bathed in sunlight.

On a rare day, Orion listened to him and came along to do his job. The train was packed this time, leaving little room for either of them. Suddenly, the train jerked to a stop, causing D to stumble, nearly bumping into another bot. But before he could steady himself, Orion crashed into him, sending him jolting forward; a quiet "oomph" came from before him. Groaning, he opened his optics and nearly went offline, coming face to chest plate.

"Oh…Oh my Primus. I'm so sorry," D stammered, stepping away quickly. His optics took in the intricate designs of the bot before flickering up, his spark stuttering in his chassis; he was sure he was going to be demoted. The bot brushed themselves off and looked at him with a kind, but amused smile. "It's alright," a tilt to their head as they looked him over, "No harm done."

You introduced yourself, holding out a delicate, polished servo, D felt unworthy as he took it. So sure that you must have been internally disgusted by his own, "And you?"

"D-16," he managed, feeling every bit out of place. Why were you letting him touch you? You noticed his unease, your expression softening, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

A firm tug on his arm pulled him from you. Orion—with a big grin on his face—motioned with his helm that it was time to go. Stepping off the train, D-16 turned to get one last look at you; the sunlight reflected on your armor, a smile still on your face, "Hope to see you again soon."

And for the first time, D felt warmth. Warmth that had nothing to do with the sunlight beaming down on him

The formatting is probably clunky bc I'm not used to Tumblr. I'm an avid ao3 writer👩🏽‍🦯

[ot3]

It's happened. My favorite anime commentator made a video shilling ORV. I have to read this damn novel now. But I have to ask would you recommend the manhwa/webtoon ?

i absolutely would not sorry. the art style is bland and everyone is pasty as hell for starters but more importantly there's a huge amount of impact that's lot by not having as much of kim dokja's narration. The way that a book can be truly First Person in a way a comic really can't (unless you get into some pretty experimental formatting/framing. but i digress) means that the novel version of orv is pretty much always going to be the definitive edition on that factor alone. the translation is still pretty rough and there's no word on the official english release for awhile here, so i understand if it may be hard to get into. but its really really worth it

some people will start the webtoon to get into it and then switch to the novel once they're invested and this is certainly better than not reading it at all but if you can handle the clunkiness i would reaaaally recommend the novel above all else

[somanyfuckedupiftruebooks]

Hey I also want to give a massive shout out to you for running this blog! I'm having a great time going through the series like this, and it wouldn't be happening without your hard work. I don't know how many mods you have running this blog but you are doing a great job keeping on top of everything and engaging with all the content people send in each day. It must be really time consuming, so please give yourself a big pat on the back! <3

Hello everyone!

Quickly I want to thank everyone who has been a part of this experience up until now, the end of season 1, 41 of the 205 days of this relisten!

It has been a wild ride, so fun to hear people's experiences, thoughts, reactions, jokes and see all of your creations! Looking back, I was shocked at how many people reacted to the long johns cave episode, was excited to see everyone fawn over martin, was thrilled at how much Jane's story moved so many people and amazed at how sharp people's perception was with Sasha's story arc towards the finale.

Thank you so much for sharing this all with us, I'm looking forward to experiencing the next season with you all!

To close off with a little bit of admin, sorry to those who are still sending asks for the season finale that won't be posted. I know how many feelings this episode evokes in people but we are approximately 20 minutes into a new day and it's time for the season 2 Trailer babyyyyy

[ficthots]

Almost

A/N: Jesús I’m so sorry this has taken as long as it has. Anywho, this one was a blast to write! Look at how great that picture is of the man of the hour! As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy! (Friends to lovers) *also I’m posting this on my phone so if the format is weird I’ll fix it later*

Word Count: 7.9k+

Everyone knows the story. The one where she’s the girl next door and she’s hopelessly in love with the boy next door. There can be some variations in the plot depending on the circumstance. For example, sometimes he doesn’t seem to notice her or give her the time of day. Other times they’re best friends and she’s been harboring this ridiculous crush on him since the first day they met. Eventually, the boy comes to his senses, realizes he doesn’t want the extremely popular cheerleader, but the girl who’s been right there his whole life.

Taylor Swift even has a song based on this tale. She’s not the only pop star or country star, whatever she is now, to take this classic and turn it into a massive hit. It’s incredibly corny and unbelievably predictable, but people eat it up each and every time. Were you a part of that group? Not necessarily. Honestly, it was your least favorite kind of love story.

Which is why it’s all the more embarrassing that you were embroiled in it anyways.

Did you enjoy being a stereotype? Nope. Did it mean you weren’t one? Nope. Hopelessly embarrassing was the fact that you ticked off every single marker point.

Girl next door? Check. Boy next door who she’s been in love with since day one? Check. Best friends their entire lives? Check. Boy comes to his senses and realizes that what he’s been searching for has been right in front of him this entire time? Not quite. Again, thank you pop stars everywhere for that infamous line.

You had been friends with Josh since your first day of first grade. Family having just relocated from some bordering state, the new neighborhood in Michigan was full of kids your age. The twins that accompanied their mom to your front door as she delivered fresh baked brownies as a welcome to the neighborhood were the first ones you got the chance to meet.

Hiding behind their moms legs, she encouraged them to say hello to you. When you invited them to play on the new jungle gym your parents had set up for you just a few days prior, the rest was history. Hardly ever apart from that day onward, you took to Josh exceptionally fast. He was much more outgoing than his counterpart, always having you in a fit of giggles.

The crush part? That happened almost immediately as well. Taken by how brave he was by jumping off the swings into the grass in front of him, you were in awe. Ever since that day, you knew you were positively smitten with Joshua Kiszka.

You recalled fond memories and times spent with the boy who had quickly become your best friend. Getting in a fight with some douche in middle school who had called Josh weird, more movie nights then you could count, Josh waiting with your mom after your driving test to see if you had passed.

It was utterly annoying how many of your memories he was in. Even more bothersome that you enjoyed having him in all of those memories. Even though it stung like a son of a bitch that he was.

It was those things which would always cause the feelings to bloom after being dormant for a long winter. Made you nauseous just thinking about it. Sure, most people develop crushes on close friends at one point or another, but in your case it was disgusting how infatuated you truly were with the boy. And did he feel the same back? Not to your knowledge or understanding.

Were there times where you were beginning to wonder if maybe your feelings were being reciprocated. Of course! You were only human for god's sake and not too shabby of a person in your personal opinion. Winter formal was a perfect example of one of those instances.

This was the dance in high school that officially morphed the teenager from an awkward, clunky child to that of a blossoming young adult. It was a big deal.

Nearly everyone had dates to the swanky sophomore event, including your best friend.

You on the other hand hadn’t been asked by anyone. As the dance loomed closer and closer, no prospective dates on the horizon for you, Josh did the unthinkable for a high school boy who understood the importance of this event in your eyes.

He called his date and canceled on her so that he could be your date. What was a heartbroken, insecure young lady now had the best guy of all to accompany her to the dance. Tear streaked face and all, he escorted you to the dance and you two had the best time. Even indulging you with a slow dance. By the end of the night, you thought Josh was looking at you…differently. In a way that you had only dreamed about over the years of friendship.

When he walked you to your front door, you thought this might be it. What better way for it to be happening? He had dropped his date to make sure you weren’t going alone, it had been an incredibly romantic and fun night, this had to be it! Your first kiss, with the boy you were head over heels for.

Instead, he smacked your arm, thanked you for a good night, and walked over to his own home right next door. The ol’ Pittsburgh goodbye they called it. Rooted to your spot dumbfounded and utterly disappointed, you felt so stupid for thinking that he was going to look at you as anything more than just a friend.

Your mom had thrown open the front door, ecstatic to hear about how the dance had gone, but you ran past her. Only muttering that you were fine when asked what was wrong, you bounded up the stairs past your father, too.

You went to your room and sobbed for the entire night. Swearing to yourself that no matter what, you would never get your hopes up like that again. You avoided Josh for as long as you could the following days, but when he arrived at your house wondering what the heck was going on with you, your defenses were down.

It was pure torture living like this. Seriously, straight up hellish. Not able to figure out why you could not get over the man that had held your heart in his hand without even knowing it for years. Danny was even at a loss.

During the course of Josh becoming the front man for Greta Van Fleet, you took to the black sheep brother. Completely by accident, but hey at least you had Danny now as well. It had been after a hang out at his apartment where he had cornered you in the kitchen.

Pestering you until you finally admitted your feelings for Josh. He truly did not understand why you had the emotions and feelings you did for the boy, but he supported you nonetheless. A little too much for your liking.

Over the span of the next several years, he was always whispering in your ear that if you just told Josh how you felt, he more than likely would reciprocate what you were feeling. It didn’t matter how many times you told Danny, he would never understand. Jeopardizing that friendship and bond with Josh just simply wasn’t worth it.

Danny swore up and down that no matter what you said to Josh, you would never lose him like how you swore you would. Agreeing with him, you told him it wasn’t Josh you would lose, but the opposite. Josh would lose you. There was no possibility that you would ever be able to face him or continue on with how things had previously been. It’s just how it was.

You accepted it and you just wanted Danny to as well. He swore he would never understand fully why you would want to put yourself through that time and time again, but you ultimately told him that this was how things were and he needed to be the one to reach that level of acceptance that you had.

Even as you got older, watching Josh turn into the celebrity he was always meant to be, performing night after night, your heart still seized up whenever in his presence. Josh had convinced you to relocate to Nashville, stating that there was no way he could live without his best friend not being as close as you had been for years.

He had only been moved for less than three months when he called you, literally begging and pleading with you that he would do whatever it took to get you there with him. That there was no way he would be able to do this without his guiding star. How he was wandering in the desert and without his fixated star to point him in the right direction, he was hopeless.

Josh always had a way with words.

In layman's terms, you picked up your entire life and moved it. For him. You were so in love with him that it even shocked Danny as he helped the move into the apartment. Only shooting him dirty looks as he stared at you in the befuddled way he was, you realized how ridiculous this all seemed.

But it didn’t matter because it was Josh.

He had kept it secret for years and you knew there was no chance of him saying anything to anyone. Sure, it was unbelievably painful to see the conquests Josh was engaging in as he waltzed around the world with his siblings, but Josh wasn’t the relationship type. Or that’s what you used to console yourself because he had never made an actual move with you.

It was also one of the rotated excuses you fed Danny as he would bring it up to you. Josh had said time and time again that domesticity actually frightened him. He was used to this rockstar lifestyle and just the thought of settling down with someone was enough to set his skin aflame.

This was one of the things you had known about him your entire life. He had sworn off serious partnerships ever since high school. It just wasn’t the life for him. It killed you, but it was his wish.

That’s why when he began dating her, you didn’t think twice about it. Just another fling that he would eventually tire of before moving on to the next, maybe to you. Chances of that were slim, but hope propelled you forward.

Josh brought her up to you on a grocery trip he promised to accompany you on. Grabbing a bag of rice, you hardly stopped when he spoke. “I went out on a date last night,” humming as you checked the item from your list, your eyes moved back up and scanned the racks. “She was great actually. I don’t know what I was expecting, but she was fun to be around.”

Snorting at his words, you gave him the look that screamed, be realistic Josh. “What? I’m serious! I really like this girl,” he laughed through his words, but you only rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Can you grab me that jar?” Pointing to the one you needed, he scowled at you.

“Thank you for listening and being of help,” his words were dripping in sarcasm, but they had you stop moving the cart as you walked together. “Joshua. Come on, I know you. Relationships aren’t your thing, which were your own words by the way. You see how hard it is on Jake and Sam with their relationships, it’s also why Danny is no longer in one. I just want you to do what’s best for you.”

His brow furrowed as he thought about your words. “So, I’m just supposed to be alone forever then?” Scoffing, you began pushing the cart again. “Not what I said. All I’m saying is just take a moment and really think about this.” He huffed, but followed along with you, grabbing a box of cereal he knew you loved.

“Asshole.” He mumbled under his breath, but you heard. In retaliation you shoved the cart in his direction causing him to topple into the shelving unit. Bursting into laughter, his face was beat red in embarrassment, but couldn’t contain the laughter seeping out as people eyed him.

“You’re gonna pay for that.” And that was practically the last you had heard of her. Josh hadn’t brought her up again. With another tour impending and an album wrapping up, you didn’t give it a second thought when Josh withdrew from you a bit.

This was typically what he did when he needed his attention to go elsewhere. Especially on something as important as an album and tour. Danny on the other hand was constantly bugging you to spend some time with him and when your schedules finally aligned, you trekked over to his house for dinner and a movie.

It was when there was mention of her for the first time from someone other than Josh. Catching you entirely off guard, you and Danny were sitting at his kitchen island, munching on the last remnants of dinner when he brought it up. “He’s still seeing her.” Your brows contorted in confusion, speaking through a small bite of food.

“What?” He set his fork down, eyeing you to see what your reaction was going to be. “Josh. He’s still seeing her. Been a few weeks now.” It felt like a punch to the gut, but you did your best to play it off. “Thanks for the update, I guess?” You laughed, but Danny didn’t match your faux enthusiasm. “I met her for the first time. We met her for the first time.” You only hummed in response, using the napkin to wipe at your mouth, meal now finished.

Thoughts ran rampant in your mind. Was she the reason he was constantly blowing you off? Was she the reason you hadn’t heard from him in a week? This was the longest he had ever spent in a fling. What the hell did that even mean? It didn’t mean anything because at the end of the day it was still Josh.

Knowing you only had another moment to respond to Danny before he noticed something was off, you placed your plate in his sink, acting occupied with this task. Back facing him so he couldn’t see your response that you knew would be plastered to your face you finally answered.

“Yeah. How was it?” You inquired, not because you were actually interested in knowing, in fact it was the exact opposite. You didn’t want to know. At all. He leaned on the kitchen island directly behind you. “He really likes her.” You snorted, finally turning around to see Danny’s apologetic face staring down at you.

Shaking your head, you pointed your finger at him. “Don’t.” His hands went up, a shrug following. “Don’t what? I’m not doing anything.” Your head cocked at him. “You’re giving me that look.” Brows furrowing in response, he feigned innocence.

“What look? I’m not giving you a look.” Your arms crossed soundly over your chest, irritation starting to bubble up. “Yes you are! It’s that look that you give me whenever you tell me about a new Josh interest. I’m telling you, it’s going to be just like the other ones.” The waver in your voice was something you prayed he didn’t notice. Trying to sell yourself that bogus excuse.

Was it bogus?

He shrugged again, arms crossing over his chest, tongue poking his cheek. “I don’t know, star. This one seems…different.” You shook the words off. “Josh would’ve said something to me by now if it was different.” Your fingers made air quotes around the final word.

With your back now to the drummer again, his words sat heavy on your shoulders as they left his mouth. “Would he?” That was a damn good question. Would he? Josh had never shied away from giving you details about various entanglements, but he hadn’t so much as peeped about this one.

Would he?

It was what was replaying over in your head as you sat on his sofa. The first time you two had hung out in almost two weeks. Why was it making you so upset? Because you knew the actual reason why he hadn’t seen you. Traces of her were all over his house despite his efforts to hide it from you. He was outright lying to you. It stabbed you in the chest when he tried to feed you the lie.

They had been adamantly working on getting the nitty gritty details about the tour nailed down. That was what Josh told you. Danny told you something different. He was lying to you. Josh never lied to you. Until now.

Not on purpose anyways.

Of course, small white lies here and there were normal, but given the details Danny was giving you, Josh was blatantly trying to hide her from you. You just didn’t know why. Did she not know about you? Did Josh not want her to know about you? Why?

Josh threw a piece of crumpled paper at your head, laughing when your attention snapped back to the present, pulling you from your thoughts. “Where have you been? You’ve been off in wonderland all night. What’s going on?” You only plastered a smile on your weary face, offering a small shrug.

“Just,” debating on actually talking to him about this or giving him the option to tell you in his own time, you spoke, “just super tired from work is all.” It was Josh. He would tell you. There was obviously a reason why he hadn’t yet. You just didn’t know it.

It turns out the reason why he didn’t inform you of their…entanglement was because of how he wanted to do it. “I want you to meet her.” He finally blurted out one night. This evening had been spent in your home, a proclaimed self care night by Josh. According to him, your shitty moods around him and your constant excuse of work killing you, meant it was up to him to fix it.

So, here you were, sprawled out on your couch with him. Both wearing face masks, nails drying from the new polish he had gotten you, eyes shut with ice packs over your sockets, it caught you off guard.

“Huh?” You questioned, trying not to move your face with the mask on it. “I want to take you out to dinner so you can meet her. Seriously star, you’ll love her. She’s great.” Being able to use the mask as an excuse not to respond, your stomach was doing somersaults at just the thought of sitting at a table with whoever this girl was.

Feeling his finger poke your cheek, you pulled the ice packs from your eyes and narrowed them at him. “I don’t know, Josh.” Giving you the best puppy dog look he could, pushing out his bottom lip. “Please, star? It would mean so much to me. You’re my best friend and I really think you should meet her. Please?”

You gave in. It’s why you were sitting at an incredibly high end restaurant, waiting for them to arrive. Checking your phone to see a message from Danny, asking why the hell you would agree to something like that, you flipped it back over to be face down when you spotted them coming towards the table.

Standing to greet them, Josh pulled you into a tight embrace, a fake smile plastered to your lips as you took her in for the first time. Offering your hand and name, you didn’t hear her response. She was breathtaking. In a ridiculous sort of way that made you question what kind of genes ran in her family. Or if this was class a work done by some surgeon in Florida or California.

Sitting back down, you nervously shifted in your seat. Alone on your side of the table, Josh’s arm draped over the back of hers. Both of them beaming with happiness and joy. Your energy did not match theirs. Josh finally broke the tension you were almost 100% positive only you were feeling.

“Sorry we were late, star. Traffic was a-uh, nightmare.” His small chuckle at the end and the blush tinting his cheeks informed you right then that they had not been delayed by traffic. Waving him off, you chugged an entire glass of wine. “It’s fine. Oh-excuse me sir! Another glass please,” you asked the waiter, tapping the rim to let him know it was urgent.

Your ring clinked against the glass loudly as you repeatedly hit it, nervously waiting for the server to come back with the bottle.

It was truly the only way to get through the night. Yet, you did somehow manage to get through it. It was excruciating, but you did it. Sure, you were a bit past buzzed, losing count after the fourth glass of wine, but it was enough to get you through it.

She was a captivating person, that you could admit. Having traveled so much of the world by such a young age, a college degree under her belt, possibly another in the near future, and working for a fashion app you had never heard of, but apparently was quite popular.

It made you hate her even more.

Not bothering to offer a large goodbye to the pairing, you hurried off in the opposite direction of where they stood, Josh confused by your behavior tonight. Hailing an Uber, you had him deliver you to the only place you could think to go.

When Danny opened the door and saw your mascara streaked face, his seldom gaze met yours. Falling into his open arms, you wailed into his chest. Smoothing down your hair, he patted your back with his free hand. “I know, star, I know.”

You crashed on Danny’s couch that night. Soundly snoring away on his sofa, he sighed, removing the heels from your feet, seeing your phone screen light up repeatedly. Josh asking if you had made it home safe and if you were alright.

He stepped out of the room, dialing Josh who picked up immediately. “Hey, I saw your messages to star and I wanted to let you know she came to my house.” An immediate breath of relief expelling from his lungs. “Thank god. She was a bit,” Danny cut him off.

“Drunk? Yeah, I know. She crashed on my couch.” Josh sighed, telling Danny to have to call him in the morning. It was the last thing you wanted to do. To discuss the events from the night before. Wanting to permanently erase the traces of it from your mind all together.

Not wanting to leave Danny’s a minute before you absolutely needed to, he pushed you out of his front door to see Josh’s car parked in the driveway waiting for you. Pouting at Danny, his stern gaze peered at you. “Go. I’ll be here if you need me.” Huffing you slowly made your way to the Jeep.

Immediately turning down the loud music blasting through the speakers, you groaned. “A bit hungover are we?” He laughed, handing you the sunglasses you always kept in his car. Grumbling in response, he started the drive to your apartment.

“We need to talk about last night, star.” Sighing, you rested your forehead on your palm, elbow on the windowsill. “Pass.” You said, but Josh put the car in park after having got your coffee for the day.

Sipping the cold liquid, you sighed with the caffeinated relief. “Why did you go to Danny’s?” His tone sounded hurt and unsure. “What?” You said with a small laugh. “You get drunk at a very important dinner for me, hardly utter a goodbye, then run off to Danny’s house. Is there something going on between you two?”

Your jaw hung slack, immediately shaking your head. “Oh my god, no. He’s just a good friend. It’s just that he,” trying to decide how to word this properly, you sat on your response for a beat. “It’s just that Danny and I are the two lonesome folk of the group so we hang out to keep each other company. That’s all,” you assured Josh.

There was no possibility of telling him the full truth, but that was pretty spot on for what you could give him. It wasn’t far from the full truth at all, really. You and Danny were the only singles of the group, therefore he could relate to what you were feeling. Kind of.

Josh bought it. Squeezing your hand over the center console, the familiar coldness shocking your system as he did. “I know. I’m sorry,” you offered a reassuring smile, relaxing into the seat and asking him to drive you home. He did and the entire way, he didn’t mention her once.

He never did. Following the disaster of a first meeting, Josh got a sense that you weren’t the biggest fan of his interest so in order to keep things calm, he simply didn’t bring her up. You were fine with that at first.

Until it felt like he was explicitly leaving out most of the details of his life and what was really happening to him. Conversations were growing shorter as he came up with little to talk about given he was around her so often, there were few stories that didn’t involve her. That was when you actually saw him anyway.

Those nights that had once been a comfort and familiarity to you were sparse now. Few and far between to happen. When you would text him asking if he was available, you typically weren’t getting responses for over twenty-four hours. Instead, you found yourself wandering over to Danny’s more often than ever.

He was a true comfort, no longer pestering you about the crush he didn’t understand, but enjoying your presence. Movies, food, even self care nights had seemingly transferred over from your best friend to Danny.

Sitting on his sofa, face masks adorned, a knock on his front door startled you both as you cackled at the movie playing on his tv. Danny hurried to the door and pulled it open to reveal a frizzy haired boy whom you hadn’t laid eyes on in weeks, nearing a month now that you thought back on it.

Josh leaned around the boy after seeing what was on his face and saw you settled on the couch. His brow furrowed and irritation bubbled up. “What are you guys doing? Danny I’ve been trying to get a hold of you,” Danny pulled his phone from his back pocket at those words and saw a few missed messages from the man in front of him.

“Okay, well you found me, what’s up?” Leaning against the front door, your head craned to see Josh. “We’re having a selfcare night!” You called out, watching as Josh’s jaw set. He only hummed in response, eyes never leaving your relaxed figure. A shirt of Danny’s on you as well.

“I-um, we need you to re-record a part of Sacred the Thread. Didn’t come out like we were hoping,” Danny’s brow muddled together. “Yeah, alright, I’ll come by tomorrow.” Josh blinked up at the younger drummer and nodded curtly.

Turning on his heel, he didn’t say anything else as he left. Danny shot you a wild look as you two burst out laughing. “The hell is his problem?” He spoke as he collapsed back down next to you. Shrugging, you hit play as the show started back up. “It’s Josh, you know how he gets.”

When the timer on your phone went off, you grabbed Danny’s wrist, dragging him to his bathroom. “C’mon, masks need to come off.” He followed you without any restraint.

You heard from Josh first thing the next morning. Showing up at your doorstep, he barged into your apartment without any warning. Startling you, you nearly dropped your glass of juice as you shot daggers at him. “What the fuck, Josh?”

His hands landed on his hips, eyes bloodshot and staring at you. “I’m only going to ask you one more time. What’s going on between you and Danny?” Rolling your eyes you leaned against your counter. “I’ve already answered that and I’m not going to again. By the way, this is the first time you’ve spoken to me in what, three or four weeks, and this is how you do it?” Scoffing, you sipped the orange juice.

Noticing that his hands had a small tremble that he was trying to mask, he shook his head fervently, regaining your attention. “Sorry.” It was curt and short, indicating he didn’t truly meet it. Sighing, your eyebrows only raised.

“Anything else?” You questioned, clearly annoyed by how your morning was starting. He released a deep breath that he had been holding in his sternum. “Can-can we hang out sometime next week? Please?”

Your mouth set, shrugging at his question. “You know where to find me.” Not expecting that type of response from you, he looked taken aback. He left your apartment that morning and it was another few weeks before you heard a peep from him again.

The hang out that Josh requested didn’t actually occur until two months later. It wasn’t as easy going and comfortable as you reminisced on how things used to be. He had a permanent look of guilt plastered to his face from the moment he took you in.

It was only an hour later when Josh cleared his throat as you two ate in almost complete silence. Eyes falling to him, you saw a grin appearing on his face. One that you hadn’t seen in your presence in far too long. “I have to tell you something.”

Placing your utensil down, you didn’t speak as he reached behind him and grabbed a small gift bag from the counter. Taking out what appeared to be a small box, he slid it across the table to you, the lid opened.

Anger immediately pummeled you.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Josh?” Refusing to touch it, you eyed him and the item in pure disgust. He laughed at your appalled reaction, cheeks tinting pink. “Yeah, that’s what Jake said too.” Standing from your seat, you peered down at him. “No fucking shit! What the hell are you thinking?”

He rolled his eyes in retaliation. “I love her, star. I have never felt this for anyone else in my life. Ever. I never knew that something like this could even exist! She makes me so happy and I make her happy. If I know she’s the one, which she is, then why would I wait? She and I can start our forever now.”

Shaking your head at his explanation, you stared at him like he was out of his mind. “Do you realize how insane you sound? It’s been, what, six months? This is a huge mistake in the making, Josh. You need to slow down and really think about this.” His smile never diminished as he stood.

“I have and I’m going to ask her to marry me, star.” You couldn’t stand there and listen to this. Turning, you grabbed your purse from the couch and quickly walked to the front door. With Josh hot on your trail, he was calling out to you.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you seriously that upset? What did I do? Star!” He halted as he saw you get in your car, silent tears making streaks on your cheeks. “Star?” He asked once more, voice diminishing in volume as you pulled out of his driveway and went home.

Ignoring the texts and calls that he was bombaring your phone with, you couldn’t bring yourself to get up from your bed. It felt like your entire world had crumbled around you in the blink of an eye. The boy next door that you had been hopelessly in love with since you could remember had chosen someone else to spend his forever with.

Some people are destined to be your almost. Not everyone gets the fairytale ending of being with the person who they thought they were destined to be with. Just because that person might be meant for you, doesn’t mean you’re meant for them. There has to be people who don’t get the guy. That was your destiny with Josh.

Your almost.

A knock on your door woke you up from your partially sleepy mood. Opening the door, his face was fully covered by an enormous bouquet. Sighing, you leaned against your door as he pulled them down to reveal a small, unsure smile.

“I’m sorry. I’m an inconsiderate asshole. I’m stupid and insensitive.” Lips pursing ever so slightly, you chimed in. “Stupid sounds about right,” snatching the beautiful bundle of flowers, you left the door open behind you as you went to your kitchen and set the flowers in the sink.

Eyeing him, his familiar mauve tracksuit adorned you jabbed at him. “That tracksuit makes you look like a forty year old virgin, you know that?” He shrugged, bottom lip jutting out. “That’s a fair assumption to make.” You hummed.

Slowly approaching you, he gingerly pulled you into his embrace. “I really am sorry. I didn’t realize until you left how it must’ve sounded for you. You will find your person someday. I will make a more conscious effort to tamp speeches like that down from now on. You know how much I like to talk.”

You both chuckled, savoring the feeling of his familiar arms wrapped around your waist in a way you would never tire of. The words stung, but you knew he was being sincere. As sincere as he possibly could anyways. “Thanks Joshy.”

When he pulled back, his cold hands cupped your cheeks, a large smile adorning his face. That small tooth gap that you absolutely adored so visible from this close. “I love you.” You smiled back at him, hands holding onto his bony wrists. “Love you too.”

Josh remained at your house for the rest of the night.

He asked her only two weeks later. It was a big show he had put on for her. Their style you were assuming. If anyone ever asked you to marry them in that fashion you would’ve said no. It must’ve been perfect for her because to everyone's surprise she said yes.

Only six months together and they were engaged. Of course everyone was expecting a long engagement, but in some sick fluke Josh informed everyone at the same time that it was only going to be two months from their proposal date.

You were shocked to your core. According to Josh, they only wanted something small and intimate and because of that, it could be that quick of a turn around. One interaction. That’s all you had experienced with this person who was going to be marrying your best friend. In two months.

Sitting in Danny’s living room with the other siblings, you were all ranting about the pure absurdity of the situation. “This isn’t even like him! Since when has he wanted to settle down like this? And this fast? No, it’s not, Josh!” Jake’s voice was rising with every word he spoke.

Sitting on the couch, your arms were crossed over your chest, steam shooting from your ears. “Star, maybe you can get through to him! He listens to you.” You shrugged, making eye contact with the worried twin, Sam and Danny sitting there in contemplative silence. “I already tried. He is dead set on doing this, Jake. I don’t know what else to do, but this isn’t good.”

He harshly sat on the arm of the sofa, putting his face in his hands. “Fuck!” He yelled, throwing one of the items from Danny’s side table. “Hey!” He yelled at the action, Jake muttering an apology and retrieving the item to put it back in its spot.

You all sat there for hours discussing the situation at hand and what could possibly be done. The answer? Nothing. There was nothing any of you could do. Grin and bear it. The only way you were ever going to be able to do that was going to be to distance yourself from the entire event all together.

Easy enough. Until Josh approached you with a major question.

“Please, star!” You were eyeing him like you had no idea who the person was standing before you. “Josh, listen to what you’re asking me.” He nodded, somewhat understanding your predicament. “I know, but it would mean so much to me.” Sighing, you rubbed tiredly at your eyes.

“It’s weird, right? I hardly know her and-” he cut you off, slight irritation prickling his tone. “Exactly! You hardly know her and I’m about to marry her. She wants nothing more than to be your friend. Just go to the bachelorette weekend, I will pay for you, and just try to get to know her.”

His doe eyes stared widely at you, hope dancing in his dark irises. “Fine, fine. I’ll go.”

That’s how you got to where you currently are. Sitting in a dark hotel room, a bunch of drunk strangers passed out in the suite living room, contemplating your entire friendship with Josh and if this weekend had been worth it.

The door creaked open, startling you in the darkness, but when she appeared you slightly calmed down. The only person you somewhat recognized from the trip. “Hey, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” Putting a tight lipped smile on, you flicked the bedside lamp on.

“No worries. You okay?” She pointed at the edge of the bed, silently asking if she could sit there. Nodding, she sat giving you a genuine smile. “Thanks for being so cool this weekend, I know my friends can be kind of a lot.” You both laughed under your breath. “Ah, they’re not bad. Welcomed me right in.”

Her eyes lit up at that. “Good, good! I’m so glad. I wanted you to have fun this weekend and I really wanted to get to know you. You and Josh are so close and you know literally everything about him which I don’t, you know? You should hear how often he talks about you. Seriously, it’s so intimidating being around you. He has this phenomenal opinion about you and I just want us to be friends.” Your breath caught in your throat at her words, feeling it grow tighter with the praise you learned Josh constantly showers you in when you weren’t around.

“No, I’m none of that. Josh just likes to hear himself talk is all.” She bursted out in laughter, her next sentence making you halt your movements and truly question every decision he had made to get to this spot. “Does he really? I don’t know, he’s kind of quiet around me.”

You didn’t knock, the door was more than likely unlocked anyways. Bursting into his home, he was startled to see you in his house like that, but his mood immediately changed when he saw you there. “Star! How was it?”

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” His eyes blew wide, startled by your anger. “Excuse me?” Shaking your head quickly, you battled your thoughts. “How are you marrying this girl, Josh? You don’t know her! She doesn’t know you! At all! I mean for fucks sake you look fucking insane, Josh!”

He tried calming you down as he approached you. “Star, what happened? Did something happen on the trip?” You walked to him and grabbed his face. “Yes! I realized that I have no idea who you even are anymore. This is not you. This is not like you. You don’t do this shit. This is not Josh.” Your words evened out, but he only grew angry.

Pulling away from your grasp, he exploded. “I know what I’m doing. I’m so fucking sick and tired of hearing everyone bitch at me about this. It is my life! None of you, especially you, run it. I do! You are just the same sad and lonely girl that I’ve always known who tears down everyone's happiness, particularly mine when it has nothing to do with you. News flash, my world doesn’t revolve around you and I pray it never will! I’ve grown and maybe you need to too!”

Tears welled in your eyes, sniffling as your eyes fell downcast. His chest was heaving from yelling, but you couldn’t look at him.

“Okay. Well, then I will get out of the way of your happiness and entirely extract myself from your world then, right? Congratulations Josh. Have a great wedding.” He sighed, trying to backtrack on what he said. “Star, no hold on.” You didn’t stick around to hear anything else.

Nearly every single day Josh had hounded your phone trying to get in contact with you. Showing up at your door nearly every other day with a flower delivery for apologies. Each time he returned, the flowers remained on your doorstep.

Getting to the point where you were almost ready to block his number all together, you watched the days tick by, seeing his wedding date get closer and closer. An invitation having arrived in your mail weeks ago, but landed right in the garbage.

There was no way you were going to be able to actually attend the wedding. Of course you understood that his outburst had been in retaliation for the way you had spoken to him, but the burn of the words had yet to scab.

Danny stood in your kitchen, cutting up fruit as he shook his head in shock. “You have to go to his wedding, star. You can’t miss Josh’s wedding, are you crazy?” Rubbing the bridge of your nose, your eyes were pinned shut. “Drop it, Danny.”

Scoffing in response, he talked as he chewed on a strawberry. “No, I will not drop it. This is Josh we’re talking about. You are not going to miss his wedding. It would devastate him.” Grabbing a piece of pineapple, you took the moment of reprieve to craft your response.

You hadn’t uttered a word of the blowout that had occurred between you and Josh that night. Knowing it was an interaction of high stress and tension, you decided it was best to just let it lie. Sure, it complicated matters pertaining to you not attending the wedding, but it was a small price to pay.

Danny on the other hand knew something was wrong. There was no chance that you would actually miss Josh’s wedding simply because you had feelings for him and weren’t a huge fan of his partner of choice. That just wasn’t you.

Wanting to know the full story, if he pestered you enough he knew you would crack. And crack you did. In fact, it was a decade of turmoil and emotion slamming together in a horrific tsunami that would only leave deviation in its wake.

“God, Danny, why don’t you get it? I have been in love with that boy since I was a child! I pictured everything with him. This is tearing me up to witness this. I try to tell him how I feel and he throws in my face that I am sad and lonely and you know what? He’s right! I am sad and I am lonely. I spent so long holding out for someone that will never love me like I love them. I am tired and I just can’t do it!” Sobs wracked your body, face tight from the shed tears cascading down your swollen face, a shaking mess as you hiccuped.

Danny immediately dropped it, Offering comfort the only way he knew how to, he held you while you sobbed over the reality you faced. Your best friend was getting married in a week's time, you weren’t going to be there, you two had gotten into a knock out drag out fight, and to top it all off you were still alone and sad.

So, what did that leave you to do?

Sit on your couch for a week, self loathing and not offering anyone a definitive answer if you were actually going to attend the wedding or not. Instead, you wore an oversized t-shirt you had owned since middle school, hair an absolute mess, watching reruns of your favorite show that you had spent most of your childhood watching with Josh.

Shooting Danny a text that morning that your will not attend was set in stone, he didn’t tell anyone. Not until Josh approached him and asked if you had rode over with him. When Danny pulled him aside to break the news, you were happy you weren’t there to witness that.

It didn’t matter because he brought it to you.

Pounding on your door, a tuxedo-clad Josh stood on the other side of the threshold. You two stood in silence, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Taking him in before you, you finally spoke first.

“Aren't you supposed to be-” he cut you off before you could finish, “Yes.” You nodded, blinking rapidly as your eyes fell down. “Okay.” Foot bouncing, you finally moved to the side letting him step into your apartment.

Jaw setting, you couldn’t take your eyes off each other. “What are you do-” he cut you off again. “Are you in love with me?” Swallowing thickly, your head began to move in response, eyes welling with tears, cottonmouth setting in. “Because I’m in love with you.”

Lips parting in awe, your chin trembled, tears silently falling from your eyes. “Ho-how?” You choked out, but Josh spoke loudly and quickly over you. “I was in the room, getting ready to head out to get to the altar and I was staring at this ring,” he pulled it from his pocket as he continued.

“Danny had just told me you weren’t coming and I saw her. She’s there fully ready in her dress, getting some photos taken or something, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was you not being there and if I needed you there that badly then maybe,” it was a shaky breath, hand falling as he held the ring still, “then maybe that meant something.”

Crossing the room, he stood directly in front of you. “I love you, star. You are my light, my being, everything I could ever want or imagine in a partner. You are the person I have to spend the rest of my life with because it just doesn’t make sense any other way. This ring is yours. It was only ever meant for you. There is no one else in this universe who I would want to wear this ring. It’s you, star. It’s always been you.”

Your hand covered your mouth as you choked out a laugh, knowing that Josh was offering you his hand right then. You nodded, a teary yes escaping your throat as Josh crushed you to him in a meeting you wouldn’t forget for the rest of your life.

Some people are destined to be your almost. Because not everyone gets the fairytale ending of being with the person who they thought they were destined to be with. Just because that person might be meant for you, doesn’t mean you’re meant for them. There has to be people who don’t get the guy.

That was what you believed your destiny was to be with Josh. Sometimes things work out in ways you never understand. Instead of being your almost, he was always going to be your forever.

Maybe fairytales weren’t so stupid after all.

[vasyandii]

KruegerNak Fic- Like Talking

Synopsis: Late night talks with each other, this was before they started dating. Krueger pining tiny bit.

Characters: Sebastian Krueger, Phayvanh "Nak" Sotsvahn

Type: Casual, dialogue heavy

Warnings: None, other than slightly crude humour

Word count: 300+

Creator Note: Hey y'all! This is my first time writing a fic + publishing it, sorry if some stuff is clunky/weirdly formatted. As always, the art is done by me :3!! I'm much better as an artist than a writer xD

TV sounds filter into the background of his quarters as some sitcom reruns smeared across the screen - mindless entertainment for a brain bored outta its skull. Krueger reaches for his phone.

Nak had been mindlessly scrolling for hours to tire herself out, her apartment was quiet. She expected him to call today; but who the Hell calls at this hour?

“Hello?” Phayvanh answered, sitting up in her bed.

“Hey, want to talk?” Sebastian's voice crackled through the phone from his quarters at the base.

“I was about to head to bed, actually.”

“Oh. Should I call tomorrow?”

*He sounds... disappointed?* She could feel it through her end of the phone.

“I can stay up,” Phayvanh accepted, a pillow in her lap.

"Good." He monotoned, sounding more relieved.

"What're you up to?"

"Drinking," Sebastian replied

Phayvanh chuckled, "So the usual?"

"The usual." He murmured acknowledgingly, nursing a bottle of beer.

"Drinking is soooo overrated. I'm surprised your liver didn't give out on you yet. "

"Ya, right," he mocked, letting out a gruff chuckle that rumbled through the phone. "I've seen how much you drink."

“What, am I not allowed to let loose once in a while?”

“You can let loose when your vomit finally lands in a bucket.”

"Your face makes me vomit," she said deliberately.

Sebastian chuckled, "I'll carry a bucket around next time we see each other, then.”

“Asshole.”

"Thank you," His smirk widened at her words.

"Not a compliment, Baldy."

A comfortable silence settled between them, a normal occurrence these days. It wasn't like they ran out of things to talk about, somethings don't need to be said.

"It's late, you should probably go to bed, no?"

"Nah," Sebastian grumbled dismissively, “The night’s still young.”

"You sure?"

"Yeah, Phay," he replied softly, the edge to his voice having dimmed down. "Just... like talking to you, ya know? You're not too bored of my ass yet, are you?"

"No, no." She trailed off a little, much more gentle. "I'm not bored of you."

"That's good," he mumbled, the previously assertive tone of his voice replaced with uncharacteristic softness.

The hum of the TV filled the brief silence before he finally admitted, "Because... I'm not bored of you either."

[superstarzolar]

aaaaand the beta version of the wiki is done!!!! there's still more to be added (such as locations, more events, and character references) but I'm pretty happy with its current state, and those updates will come in due time!!

sorry if its a bit clunky and/or hard to navigate, i have literally no idea how to format a website, let alone a wiki

[princessmacedon]

One of Chad's hands swipes at his mouth in what seems to be a bid to dispel any drool, and Maria, for her part, lets her fingers tent upward, a tapestry of knuckles and fingertips obscuring the widening of her smile. Not that it matters all too much, in the end, for it still touches her eyes with a crinkle of contentment... nor does she care to hide it all too much.

"Hee hee... sorry." And she is, somewhat. Not for the effort, oh no -- they're worth every ounce of it, and she'll be certain to tell them so, should they ever contrive to doubt themself-- but for the burden so many tarts would place! Even if she'd given them to him for sharing, wasn't this... well, maybe it was too much. But he liked fruit tarts! And every time she tried to pick just one, she thought of how much he might like another...

"Personable..." Maria repeats, and then giggles again. Perhaps he isn't personable by the most standard definition, but isn't he really? They're always kind and good where it matters, and they've manners in a perpetual hacky-sack race with their honesty -- there! Just so! An awkward hand held over his mouth as he chews on crust and compliments, what feels like their whole heart poured into the latter. "Heeheehee... You're too nice! What if I get a big head, Chad? But, thank you." One would think her face would hurt by now, but still she flashes another toothy grin. "That really makes me happy. And you're right! I promised, didn't I? Okay, I'll have some, too." Though her eyes remain fixed on them even as she balances the tart between her fingers.

"I think you would've fit in with the Deer too, though." She flashes another smile, then bites into the tart. It's a tough thing to earn every one of Chad's glowing words, and maybe she hasn't really, but she still smiles as she chews. Reason suits him, she thinks. Chews more. Maybe fire? Somehow dark, yet bright and warm -- or maybe wind, cutting to their enemies and gentle to their friends. Thunder, too, doesn't seem so bad... yeah, she thinks. Swallows. Beams at him. "It suits you!

"Do you have a favorite element? Or are you waiting until you try?" Her legs stretch under the table, then tuck back under the seat. "I like fire and wind the most, but I have a friend in the Deer who makes ice magic look so pretty..." At that, a sideways grin. "She's not personable the usual way, but she's lovely like you. Maybe you'll meet her one day!"

sun’s shine

princessmacedon​:

There’s an almost-skip in her step that Maria must fiercely stamp out as she gathers her assorted baked triumphs - not for embarrassment, but for the safety of the fruit tarts as she makes ready to carry them out. Not once, not twice, but– well, she really shouldn’t count, if she’s being honest; it happens every time she remembers the sparkle in their eye, all bright and eager even though she knows they’ll insist on ‘paying her back’ later for some silly reason (she giggles again). 

“Blackberry,” she announces first with a smile, a pair of circles sat on a plate just smaller than the size of her hand. Then, “Lemon!” in a second pair, this time cut into squares. “Strawberry!” is, of course, a slightly bigger plate with a plethora of the tiniest tarts one might imagine – practically thumb-sized cups with a dollop of custard and a little namesake fruit on top! And, finally, she presents “Peach, hee hee,” with a smile and giggle to match: a full sized, proper fruit tart with a bit of crumble on top. (Somehow, somewhen, she’s procured a little cup of whipped cream – only a little! – to serve on top.) 

“That’s all of them!” The last of her procurements to land at the table is a small pair of plates and accompanying forks… Though looking at everything gathered here now before one beamish friend, she thinks they may have had a point when protesting that it was quite an amount. Elbows prop on the weathered table, fingers laced together and her chin dropped cheerily upon it – she paints the very picture of delight, of anticipation, her waiting grin in unseen contrast to the eager tapping of her toes against the floor below. Tip-tap, tap-tip, in alternation and succession. 

“Hee hee.” With a turn of the head, her cheek squishes slightly against the back of her wrist, a perfect punctuation to the sheepishness that colors her smile. “I thought that you could share the leftovers with new friends, but there’s still a lot after that, huh?” A finger lifts, then to land just so on the side of the strawberry tarts’ plate and push it a fraction-turn. “Look! Easy to share, right?

“You pick first, Chad! It’s your celebration after all, heeheehee.” She has to wonder– which one will he like most? They might be her test taster, but this is her important research for holidays and birthdays to come! And yet, it’s far from the most important thing. Waiting, she breathes a quiet huff of laughter to herself, eyes narrowed into crescents. “So, which house did you wind up in? What classes are you looking forward to? I want to hear!” 

Bramimond on a biscuit, these are… These are so many fucking tarts. Brown eyes widen more with each dish Maria sets down, until they look fit to fall out their sockets; Especially with the way they dart to and fro, too, unsure of which to admire first. Everything from the way the tarts are shaped, the way they’re decorated, and the smell, saints, the smell, is just so… Positively lovely. It’s got Maria’s handiwork written all over it, for sure. And it all smells so good…

“Ah,” they croak, before (un)subtly wiping the corner on their mouth to check for drool. “This really is way too much…” Though their mouth says one thing, their hands say another, already creeping for the plate of strawberry tarts Maria had gently nudged towards them. Starting small, on one hand, and on the other… Damn, they can’t say no to strawberry. They pick one up gingerly, tilt it slightly to admire it, careful not to let the strawberry fall.

“I got into the Black Eagles House. I was considering the Deer, but… I don’t know, everyone seems so… personable, there. Plus, I think I’m looking forward to the Reason classes, actually… I either don’t know anything or know too much about the other stuff right now.”

They trail off, look at the tart in their hand, and take the opportunity in silence to pop it into their mouth.

Chad pauses. Chews. His eyes light up before the rest of him does, and he, mid-chew, turns to Maria, covering his mouth with a hand to retain some semblance of table manners, but if he doesn’t tell her right now how freaking good these are —

“These are really good,” he manages to articulate around his mouthful, omitting the swear he might’ve slipped in otherwise for emphasis, finishes chewing, swallows. “It’s like, perfectly sweet and sour but not too sour, and the dough is all… Aromatic, in a nice baked way, like butter, but doesn’t overpower the fruit, but you can still taste it through the fruit —” He’s already reaching for another, before pausing to gingerly pick up his portion of blackberry and slip it onto his plate, instead. He flushes a little again, unsure why, a bit of bluster to rein in enthusiasm amok.

“You have some, too! We’re supposed to share, yeah?” A resolute nod from the appointed taste-tester. “The strawberry’s a huge success, try it!”