#sorry for the clunky format

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

EVERYONE I just saw the new DRDT twitter post, and I have some things to SAY /pos (if you don't know what I'm talking about, you should probably view this post https://twitter.com/DespairTime/status/1703105596134654210 before continuing on reading this one) ... ... ...You back? Awesome !! First and foremost, gonna take a look at the synopsis

This concept is giving major 999 vibes, I love this already I also really like the shorter number in cast, I don't actually see a lot of fangans with shorter cast and I think that's a shame because I think there is a lot you can do with a shorter cast of 10-12 participants (see Danganronpa Lapse). > eleven students are forced to continue a killing game that they’ve supposedly already started. However, no one can remember the past trials, nor the deaths of their missing classmates. This is the main thing that caught my eye, and it definitely explains the shorter number in cast. And with their memory erased and the way this is worded, it feels almost like this death game that these characters are in has restarted. Like, something went wrong with it, and that resulted in the death game restarted using the eleven students still left. And if that is the case, that makes me wonder about the possible connection this death game could have with DRDT. But I will get to that later. > Between the killing game, their lost memories, and the “NG codes” that restrict their actions, how could anyone escape unscathed? So this is also using the NG Codes from Danganronpa 3? Yet another thing I find very interesting. I so badly want to know more about this cast. Which is why they are the next topic of my insane ramblings !!

Okay before I even get into anything, I just want to say mad fucking props to DRDT Dev for these designs and for their art in general. They have genuinely improved so much since the start of DRDT, and it's so cool to see Second of all

> That is to say, this is a story about a person who wants to become the perfect teacher. So hi, I love you very much first of all Go to a damn barber second of all I am very worried for you third of all /lh (Also my first thought when I saw him was that he reminded me of Enju from Ayakashi Akashi, and I think that's funny)

DRDT-Dev has confirmed that this is the protagonist, so I am already very intrigued with him and what his deal is even though we won't find out for a long time Another fun little thing I noticed was that in all of the art so far out with him has him with his eyes closed. I wonder if that means anything Anyway, I love him, and I am also concerned for his safety for something I will talk about later

As for some smaller observations, given how closely these two are depicted, their fire and ice motifs, and their general simialr appearences. I don't think it's a stretch to say that these two could be sibling, or related in some way. I think that's cool

I've seen a few people say that this person could be Elliot Cuevas, Charles' older brother, and I definitely think that's a fair theory to have. Not just because of the purple hair, but also because of the collar around his neck. What is one of the only details we know about Elliot?

His favorite animal is dogs. And that collar (to me at least, looks very similar to a dog collar. Just something to think about

I have nothing insightful to say, this person is precious and I want to give them ice cream If people start theorizing them to be "secretly evil" istg... /lh /hj The rest of the cast (except one) I have nothing to comment on, so let's get to the main question I am thinking about at this moment Does this project have any connection to the lore of Despair Time?

This wasn't something that was confirmed, nor denied by DRDT Dev, so everything I'm about to say could age awfully. But I think there are a few pieces of evidence that could hint to this project having more relevence to DRDT than it comes across at first glance. Three to be exact. Let's start with the first and most obvious one

This man who is looking very smug at me is wearing a jacket with an XF-Ture Tech logo on it, or at least something that looks the part.

We do not have much information on what XF-Ture Tech as it stands right now. All we know at the moment is that it is a profit tech company that sponsored Min's family when she was younger at the promise that she would become the Ultimate Student in 12 years time, and that they also do "a lot of other things"....whatever the hell that shady sentence means. Due to the lack of information about XF-Ture Tech, there is not much else I can analyse at this moment. But this fact alone does seem to connect this project and DRDT in some way. But obviously that's not all For my second piece of evidence, we go back to that teacher character. Because I swear...there was another, albeit hidden, place where a teacher character was mentioned... Oh yeah !

.....Ohhhhhhh righttt... Teacher man, you're in big trouble. In all seriousness, considering how intricate DRDT-Dev's writing is, I just don't think this could be a coincidence at all and if it is I'll be genuinely surprised. I think this teacher character and the teacher mentioned in the about page's hidden text are the same person. Now that does not exactly answer the big question of who is saying this text. It could be the mastermind of this project's death game, could be another participant in this project's death game, hell the possibility that this is the mastermind of the DRDT cast's death game still isn't really ruled out. But the main point is that I think it's a very big possibility that this teacher and the teacher in the about page's hidden text are the same person. And lastly, I would like to go back to what I said in the beginning: > it feels almost like this death game that these characters are in has restarted. Like, something went wrong with it, and that resulted in the death game restarted using the eleven students still left. If we're following the idea that this is a restarted death game, that honestly gives me the same vibes as a reboot of a television show. Which brings me to my point: What if this death game is also being broadcasted? I feel as though it is definitely a possibility given the summary, but for right now there doesn't seem to be much proof of this idea. _ That's basically all of my current thoughts on this project that DRDT-Dev has shown us. If this does end up becoming the next fangan DRDT Dev releases after the completion ot Despair TIme, I am very excited to see in the future what has been cooking

[a-sketchy]

i need to rank the persona ops but i think i’d have to separate it into two lists based on animation vs song. cause so many songs and ops are mismatched in quality like: p4d’s op is fun but janky as fuck, but dance! is one of the best songs of the bunch, and p3d’s op is soooo pretty and fun but our moment is really forgettable.

pq2 is an underrated top tier in both categories though, there needs to be more appreciation for road less taken in the world.

also im sorry, i know this is a hot take, but tbh i’d rate p5d and p5s and vanilla p5’s ops over p5r’s in both categories. i inexplicably feel so strongly that the p5r op is mid. it’s so underwhelming i just cant find it in me to like it all that much.

p3re’s is an instant high tier, definitely one of if not the best animation-wise, what a fucking stunner oh my godddd. full moon full life is super solid but i can’t help but feel that it evokes a lot of comparison in structure to burn my dread and soul phrase, without being as strong as either. not necessarily worse, not overall, most of my affection for soul phrase is because of exposure rather than liking the song, but the build up in it and burn my dread is just better than full moon full life despite the latter feeling really similar to both. but idk that might just be nostalgia blindness

i’ve just spent significant amounts of the last couple days watching the ops, including listening to the songs on their own and watching the animation on mute, and i have opinions

[collgeruledzebra]

listened to the tdir audio drama yesterday for midwinter... pretty good overall. didn't love some of the casting (why did the rider need to sound like dracula with a cold) and often felt that the sound design was overdoing it a bit but at least it did follow the story faithfully. also liked that it leaned in somewhat to the moral greyness of the light, I find the portrayal of both the light and the dark throughout the books as having a very 'end justifies the means' philosophy quite interesting. i'd give it 8/10 will most likely be listening again next year

[snepfeathers]

their sonas Juniper (big wolf) and Terra (dragon sabercat) are super cool and fun and you should draw theeemmm, just saying ;P

IT'S @bigandsoft 's BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

EVERYBODY WISH THEM A HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAYYYY 🎉🎊🎈🎂🎁🎆🎃🐉💙💚

[blumagrose]

Some writing practice lol

There was a saying in Iacon.

"Some bots were just created lucky."

D-16 had never known anything beyond the mines. Had never once defied the rules, like Orion, and had never once tried to venture beyond what he knew.

D couldn't blame Orion for his curiosity; there were times when he was tempted to know more. When he got to ride on the trains, his gaze was always drawn to the windows, watching the landscape change from the dark confines of the mines to the golden glow of the city, with shimmering buildings bathed in sunlight.

On a rare day, Orion listened to him and came along to do his job. The train was packed this time, leaving little room for either of them. Suddenly, the train jerked to a stop, causing D to stumble, nearly bumping into another bot. But before he could steady himself, Orion crashed into him, sending him jolting forward; a quiet "oomph" came from before him. Groaning, he opened his optics and nearly went offline, coming face to chest plate.

"Oh…Oh my Primus. I'm so sorry," D stammered, stepping away quickly. His optics took in the intricate designs of the bot before flickering up, his spark stuttering in his chassis; he was sure he was going to be demoted. The bot brushed themselves off and looked at him with a kind, but amused smile. "It's alright," a tilt to their head as they looked him over, "No harm done."

You introduced yourself, holding out a delicate, polished servo. D felt unworthy as he took it, so sure that you must have been internally disgusted by his own, "And you?"

"D-16," he managed, feeling every bit out of place. Why were you letting him touch you? You noticed his unease, your expression softening, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

A firm tug on his arm pulled him from you. Orion—with a big grin on his face—motioned with his helm that it was time to go. Stepping off the train, D-16 turned to get one last look at you; the sunlight reflected on your armor, a smile still on your face, "Hope to see you again soon."

And for the first time, D felt warmth. Warmth that had nothing to do with the sunlight beaming down on him

The formatting is probably clunky bc I'm not used to Tumblr. I'm an avid ao3 writer👩🏽‍🦯

[the-s1lly-corner]

What its like kissing the creepypasta characters

excluding the characters that im not comfy writing romantic for, for obvious reasons similar to the hugging post this is more so a rating thing instead of actual scenarios! honestly in love with these kinds of posts so im formally asking you guys to give me ideas in this vein because i love making hcs in this format/for general stuff eheheheh

SLENDERMAN:

if youve been on this blog for a while, you would know that i love when characters who dont have mouths/have nontraditional mouths nuzzle and press their face into yours. and i still love the idea, especially with slenderman ! the first time he 'kisses' you its probably the first time hes kissed ANYONE so the movement itself is probably a little... clunky... doesnt press too hard, actually i think he would struggle with the opposite. theyre gentle and fleeting, almost as if his inhuman strength and size would crush you if he let himself truly lean into it. i mean think about it, he hardly ever interacts with humans and when he does its for 'food', he has always only seen them as vulnerable and fragile. and whether malicious or not, he treats you as if youre made of glass. likes kissing the back of your hands too. 7/10, he gets bonus points since hes my fav + its the thought that counts

SPLENDORMAN:

very eager about showing you any level of affection, probably early in the relationship that he gets bold enough to kiss you. first kiss is probably more of a "in the moment" thing than "i planned this out and im going to ask" thing if that makes sense... similar to slenderman in regards that he presses his mouth to you, as i personally headcannon that his smile isnt exactly.. a real mouth, more so a false one. think like a layer of 'skin' covering his real one that he can rip out at any moment (same case for slenderman btw. same also apply to splendors eyes, more so markings than actual eyes). going back to his energy, hes very eager about it, might even lightly push you back with how much hes putting into it; he doesnt mean to, hes just so excited! likes cheek kisses and nuzzling your noses together 8/10

EYELESS JACK:

very wary about kissing you outside of those little pecks, for multiple factors. for one, his teeth. sharp teeth, he can accidentally cut you. other reason thats much darker, given that admin personally hcs that he goes into "frenzies" when hes hungry and reacts to blood like the sharks in finding nemo, if he accidentally cuts you when hes not.. well fed.. for lack of a better term... theres a risk there. REFUSES to kiss when he needs to go 'hunt' soon, not because he doesnt want you or your affection, but he doesnt want to take any risks. outside of that, he doesnt often seek out affection, so youre probably going to have to initiate it, unless hes feeling particularly clingy that day or jealous... hes very cold, please cup your hands on his face and warm him up. likes kissing your lips 6/10

LAUGHING JACK:

has to lean in at an angle in order to not poke you with his nose. has probably accidentally lightly scratched you with it when he got too excited. likes giving you forehead kisses for this reason because you can just angle your head down and he can go to town like that... sometimes leave lipstick marks on you.. if you personally hc that he can take off his makeup then please offer to fix it! hes going to be absolutely over the moon! likes wrapping his arms around you when he kisses you. does lots of kisses in quick succession rather than singular longer ones. probably wakes you up with kisses and greets you with kisses when you come home 8/10 i love him

MASKY/TIM:

nope, sorry. for masky hes not going to be taking off the mask around you at all. so if you want a kiss youre going to have to kiss the mask. though on rare occasions when youre alseep/half awake he will lift up his mask just enough to reveal his mouth and give you a kiss on your face. no particular place that he prefers to kiss you. though as said, its rare when he does this. in fact its not common for masky to seek out affection unless he feels more possessive of you than usual, be it because hes jealous or you are stress or you were just in a dangerous situation. 5/10, not much action but there is still care behind it

now as for tim... i think he would be more willing to give you kisses. probably gives you a quick one before you leave for work or something else, and greets you with one when you return home. thats a sweet thought, i think. more likely to give kisses during cuddle session, tends to kiss your cheek and neck (non sexually) while hes holding you to his chest. ponders. will give you a look if you mess with his sideburns and start giggling 6.5/10 love this man

HOODIE/BRIAN:

hoodie is a little more willing to lift up his mask around you, but only really up to the bottom of his nose. also has no preferred place to kiss you, but he seems to kiss your lips more than the other parts of you. sometimes his facial hair scratches against your skin and tickles. between him and brian i think hoodie is a little more blunt and serious about kissing. not to say hes not a little playful, love me some vaguely playful s/o hoodie hcs. probably picks you up off the ground too to 'trap' you, especially if youre fairly shorter than him (personally hc brian/hoodie is 6'') 7/10 love him

very similar to hoodie but i think he would be even more playful when it comes to you. leans into it when his facial hair starts tickling you, in fact i think it would devolve into him just tickling your sides. funny man. put him in the corner/j. like lj, he likes wrapping his arms around you when kissing you, this man is very into physical touch. will touch you any chance he gets; hand holding, cuddling, hugs, ect ect ect... sometimes starts smiling when you guys kiss so you have to give him a minute because he just has this huge grin on his face 8/10

PUPPETEER:

so you know how i said in the hugging post hes kind of a little shit? you know, literally basking in the fact that youre giving your time and self to him? i think that still applies here, maybe even more so since this is explicitly romantic. likes teasing you if you get flustered during your make out sessions, sometimes bombards you with kisses just to see your face redden... has probably leaned down and tapped his cheek as a silent yet teasing gesture, as if taunting you, letting you be the one to kiss him this once. also very cold, like physically. what being a spirit does to a mf. VERY tall, can easily evade any retaliation you throw his way (ie returning the favor of bombarding him with kisses), though im not sure how long he'd be able to resist.. 6/10

[sevs-corner]

PART 2 to:

Same PSA(s) hehe✌️

• Before you guys arrived at the place, all of you undressed to civilian clothes and (try to) be lowkey

• Going out of the changing room at the airport, you couldn't help but smile at how the boys still had their signature fits on

• Price, of course, kept his signature beanie on him

• Ghost had a plain black mask on with sunglasses on making him extra edgy, plus the fingerless skeleton gloves which just tells you of his emo phase

• Gaz had his favorite hat on his head and a scarf around his neck (which you soon learn is actually Price's)

• Soap had his signature jacket that he wears around everywhere outside of missions (which you also come to learn is actually Ghost's)

• "Lookin' chic guys!" you complimented with a playful grin, hand on your hip while the other cups your chin and you took in their look up and down

• "why thank you lassie!" Once Soap sees you, he ruffles your hair and gives you a grin of his own. "Lookin' quite a beaut ya'self!"

• "Aw~ stop butterin' me up Soapie!" you quickly put Soap in a noogie position to which he took as a challenge and was about to the same until he catches the look on Price's face

• "we have to get goin'," Price decided, walking towards the direction of two cars

• "did y'all fix the stuff in the cars already?" you asked astonished at how fast they worked to place all the boxes of your things in the cars Laswell provided for you five

• Ghost nods, "wasn't much anyways," as he falls into step with you going to the other car to drive

• "sorry I took too long to help," you pouted and grabbed at Ghost's pinky who just looked down at you with his eyes crinkling

• "its all good pup," Soap chimed in, "you would've held us back anyways." Winking at your huffed out expression, Ghost couldn't help the chuckle at how easy it was for them to tease you

• "am I that big of distraction, huh?" you turn to Ghost for reaffirmation. "I'm not, right?"

• Ghost in turn just shrugs, "you talk too much."

• Leaving you agape in the dust, Soap cackled all the way to the car, quickly hopping in shotgun (knowing how you would always call it and would get you even more pissed)

• "Riley! MacTavish!" you cursed them, "you will rue to the day you called me yapper!!"

• "Corporal!" you feel the hairs on your neck stand on end, "get to the car already- asap!" Price shouted from the car that was already exiting the hangar.

• You huffed, mumbling a 'yes dad' then quickly jogging to the car, only to see a smirking Johnny from your seat.

• So you threw him a glare with a finger before swinging the door open and hopping in with a growl

• "Can't believe you even took shotgun."

• "Well, you took too long yapping pup."

• "… just pass me the aux cord."

• "aye aye~."

• "Don’t play that dogshit asian songs." Ghost silently remarks from the wheel to which you- once again- groaned out

• "number 1- its called 'k-pop'!" you lifted another finger, "and number 2- that's not my vibe right now so I'm playing some songs from the 80s."

• The two at the front had to suppress another round of chuckles to avoid annoying further but your reactions were too cute for them not to capitalize on

• "why the 80s?" Soap asks, already bopping his head to the beat of the first song you played

• "seems that’s the era where you old folks were born at," you sputtered at your snide remark, not able to continue your sentence from how funny you thought it was, and seeing it unfold- made all three of you laugh once more

• Blissfully unaware of whats to come in the coming weeks of living under one roof

• "Alright chaps meeting start NOW!" Price commanded and all of you quickly got into seats at the very bare living room

• Once you saw the mansion of a house at the villa from the address Laswell provided you all, you would think it would at least be furnished or furbished (tomato tomato)

• But no, it was like Soap's garden at your original base- barren.

• Hence the purpose of the current meeting

• "When Laswell said we'd be rebuilding our lives somewhere else- I didn't know she'd meant it literally."

• Hearing your spiteful words, everyone sighs in agreement.

• "She's doing too much."

• "But maybe its purposeful?" Gaz offers in consolation but all he got in return of a response was a glower from you

• "purposeful for my demise- that's what!" Soap agrees in tandem while Price return to the topic at hand

• "Alright, why don't we split responsibilities?"

• You instantly perk up once again, "I call interior designing the place!"

• Everyone looks at you incredulously, until resulting to a laugh once they realized your intention from the way you pulled out your lovely companion and perched 'em on your shoulder.

• "Ghostie has to come with me Price, please?" you begged, Price responding with an equally playful smirk to which Ghost paled at

• "You can handle the hardware stuff in the meantime, yea?"

• Ghost relents and nods while you came skipping in front of him with an excited smile on your face

• "You'll love the food there Ghostie- promise!" you offer Blahaj as a peace offering and he couldn't deny your bubbly self

• "Alright," he grunts whilst smiling, "as long as you pay, kit."

• "Obviously!" you proudly huffed as Ghost ruffles your hair affectionately, while grabbing Blahaj with his other hand

• "Alright, grocery shopping… that's me and-"

• "Me?" Soap ask to his captain but was immediately shut down by Gaz who already had a shopping list in hand, making the former's jaw drop

• "Gaz." Price says so appreciatively in a hum that you swear that you saw some hearts flying out of the cap'n's ears

• "Don't worry cap'n, I got this." Gaz walks up to him and places a hand on his shoulder, pulling him into a whisper making you raise a brow with a pursed lip

• Seeing them do that made you do the same with Simon, who you had to climb to get even close to ear

• "..he has to be so down bad for him right?"

• Alas, whispering is not in your vocabulary.

• Making Soap cackle so hard while the others (including Ghost who had to support you by placing an under your ass to carry you as his side)

• "What do you mean by that..?" Gaz asks exasperatedly.

• You looked at him aghast, "means you're so deeply in love with cap that my theory was you're gonna fuck him later."

• Simon sputters, cracking your bravado façade as a detective but makes the other two groan

• "Sweetie…you're not letting us live this down, huh?"

• "Nope. Bye~!"

• "Hey! Wait what am I gonna do???"

• "Watch the house!"

• "WHAT AM I TO YOU FECKS? A GUARD DOG?"

• "yes."

• A unison surrounding agreement makes Soap fall to his knees, weeping while the two of you left.

• Price ultimately deciding to go with Gaz anyways for… reasons.

[princessmacedon]

One of Chad's hands swipes at his mouth in what seems to be a bid to dispel any drool, and Maria, for her part, lets her fingers tent upward, a tapestry of knuckles and fingertips obscuring the widening of her smile. Not that it matters all too much, in the end, for it still touches her eyes with a crinkle of contentment... nor does she care to hide it all too much.

"Hee hee... sorry." And she is, somewhat. Not for the effort, oh no -- they're worth every ounce of it, and she'll be certain to tell them so, should they ever contrive to doubt themself-- but for the burden so many tarts would place! Even if she'd given them to him for sharing, wasn't this... well, maybe it was too much. But he liked fruit tarts! And every time she tried to pick just one, she thought of how much he might like another...

"Personable..." Maria repeats, and then giggles again. Perhaps he isn't personable by the most standard definition, but isn't he really? They're always kind and good where it matters, and they've manners in a perpetual hacky-sack race with their honesty -- there! Just so! An awkward hand held over his mouth as he chews on crust and compliments, what feels like their whole heart poured into the latter. "Heeheehee... You're too nice! What if I get a big head, Chad? But, thank you." One would think her face would hurt by now, but still she flashes another toothy grin. "That really makes me happy. And you're right! I promised, didn't I? Okay, I'll have some, too." Though her eyes remain fixed on them even as she balances the tart between her fingers.

"I think you would've fit in with the Deer too, though." She flashes another smile, then bites into the tart. It's a tough thing to earn every one of Chad's glowing words, and maybe she hasn't really, but she still smiles as she chews. Reason suits him, she thinks. Chews more. Maybe fire? Somehow dark, yet bright and warm -- or maybe wind, cutting to their enemies and gentle to their friends. Thunder, too, doesn't seem so bad... yeah, she thinks. Swallows. Beams at him. "It suits you!

"Do you have a favorite element? Or are you waiting until you try?" Her legs stretch under the table, then tuck back under the seat. "I like fire and wind the most, but I have a friend in the Deer who makes ice magic look so pretty..." At that, a sideways grin. "She's not personable the usual way, but she's lovely like you. Maybe you'll meet her one day!"

sun’s shine

princessmacedon​:

There’s an almost-skip in her step that Maria must fiercely stamp out as she gathers her assorted baked triumphs - not for embarrassment, but for the safety of the fruit tarts as she makes ready to carry them out. Not once, not twice, but– well, she really shouldn’t count, if she’s being honest; it happens every time she remembers the sparkle in their eye, all bright and eager even though she knows they’ll insist on ‘paying her back’ later for some silly reason (she giggles again). 

“Blackberry,” she announces first with a smile, a pair of circles sat on a plate just smaller than the size of her hand. Then, “Lemon!” in a second pair, this time cut into squares. “Strawberry!” is, of course, a slightly bigger plate with a plethora of the tiniest tarts one might imagine – practically thumb-sized cups with a dollop of custard and a little namesake fruit on top! And, finally, she presents “Peach, hee hee,” with a smile and giggle to match: a full sized, proper fruit tart with a bit of crumble on top. (Somehow, somewhen, she’s procured a little cup of whipped cream – only a little! – to serve on top.) 

“That’s all of them!” The last of her procurements to land at the table is a small pair of plates and accompanying forks… Though looking at everything gathered here now before one beamish friend, she thinks they may have had a point when protesting that it was quite an amount. Elbows prop on the weathered table, fingers laced together and her chin dropped cheerily upon it – she paints the very picture of delight, of anticipation, her waiting grin in unseen contrast to the eager tapping of her toes against the floor below. Tip-tap, tap-tip, in alternation and succession. 

“Hee hee.” With a turn of the head, her cheek squishes slightly against the back of her wrist, a perfect punctuation to the sheepishness that colors her smile. “I thought that you could share the leftovers with new friends, but there’s still a lot after that, huh?” A finger lifts, then to land just so on the side of the strawberry tarts’ plate and push it a fraction-turn. “Look! Easy to share, right?

“You pick first, Chad! It’s your celebration after all, heeheehee.” She has to wonder– which one will he like most? They might be her test taster, but this is her important research for holidays and birthdays to come! And yet, it’s far from the most important thing. Waiting, she breathes a quiet huff of laughter to herself, eyes narrowed into crescents. “So, which house did you wind up in? What classes are you looking forward to? I want to hear!” 

Bramimond on a biscuit, these are… These are so many fucking tarts. Brown eyes widen more with each dish Maria sets down, until they look fit to fall out their sockets; Especially with the way they dart to and fro, too, unsure of which to admire first. Everything from the way the tarts are shaped, the way they’re decorated, and the smell, saints, the smell, is just so… Positively lovely. It’s got Maria’s handiwork written all over it, for sure. And it all smells so good…

“Ah,” they croak, before (un)subtly wiping the corner on their mouth to check for drool. “This really is way too much…” Though their mouth says one thing, their hands say another, already creeping for the plate of strawberry tarts Maria had gently nudged towards them. Starting small, on one hand, and on the other… Damn, they can’t say no to strawberry. They pick one up gingerly, tilt it slightly to admire it, careful not to let the strawberry fall.

“I got into the Black Eagles House. I was considering the Deer, but… I don’t know, everyone seems so… personable, there. Plus, I think I’m looking forward to the Reason classes, actually… I either don’t know anything or know too much about the other stuff right now.”

They trail off, look at the tart in their hand, and take the opportunity in silence to pop it into their mouth.

Chad pauses. Chews. His eyes light up before the rest of him does, and he, mid-chew, turns to Maria, covering his mouth with a hand to retain some semblance of table manners, but if he doesn’t tell her right now how freaking good these are —

“These are really good,” he manages to articulate around his mouthful, omitting the swear he might’ve slipped in otherwise for emphasis, finishes chewing, swallows. “It’s like, perfectly sweet and sour but not too sour, and the dough is all… Aromatic, in a nice baked way, like butter, but doesn’t overpower the fruit, but you can still taste it through the fruit —” He’s already reaching for another, before pausing to gingerly pick up his portion of blackberry and slip it onto his plate, instead. He flushes a little again, unsure why, a bit of bluster to rein in enthusiasm amok.

“You have some, too! We’re supposed to share, yeah?” A resolute nod from the appointed taste-tester. “The strawberry’s a huge success, try it!”

[ficthots]

Almost

A/N: Jesús I’m so sorry this has taken as long as it has. Anywho, this one was a blast to write! Look at how great that picture is of the man of the hour! As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy! (Friends to lovers) *also I’m posting this on my phone so if the format is weird I’ll fix it later*

Word Count: 7.9k+

Everyone knows the story. The one where she’s the girl next door and she’s hopelessly in love with the boy next door. There can be some variations in the plot depending on the circumstance. For example, sometimes he doesn’t seem to notice her or give her the time of day. Other times they’re best friends and she’s been harboring this ridiculous crush on him since the first day they met. Eventually, the boy comes to his senses, realizes he doesn’t want the extremely popular cheerleader, but the girl who’s been right there his whole life.

Taylor Swift even has a song based on this tale. She’s not the only pop star or country star, whatever she is now, to take this classic and turn it into a massive hit. It’s incredibly corny and unbelievably predictable, but people eat it up each and every time. Were you a part of that group? Not necessarily. Honestly, it was your least favorite kind of love story.

Which is why it’s all the more embarrassing that you were embroiled in it anyways.

Did you enjoy being a stereotype? Nope. Did it mean you weren’t one? Nope. Hopelessly embarrassing was the fact that you ticked off every single marker point.

Girl next door? Check. Boy next door who she’s been in love with since day one? Check. Best friends their entire lives? Check. Boy comes to his senses and realizes that what he’s been searching for has been right in front of him this entire time? Not quite. Again, thank you pop stars everywhere for that infamous line.

You had been friends with Josh since your first day of first grade. Family having just relocated from some bordering state, the new neighborhood in Michigan was full of kids your age. The twins that accompanied their mom to your front door as she delivered fresh baked brownies as a welcome to the neighborhood were the first ones you got the chance to meet.

Hiding behind their moms legs, she encouraged them to say hello to you. When you invited them to play on the new jungle gym your parents had set up for you just a few days prior, the rest was history. Hardly ever apart from that day onward, you took to Josh exceptionally fast. He was much more outgoing than his counterpart, always having you in a fit of giggles.

The crush part? That happened almost immediately as well. Taken by how brave he was by jumping off the swings into the grass in front of him, you were in awe. Ever since that day, you knew you were positively smitten with Joshua Kiszka.

You recalled fond memories and times spent with the boy who had quickly become your best friend. Getting in a fight with some douche in middle school who had called Josh weird, more movie nights then you could count, Josh waiting with your mom after your driving test to see if you had passed.

It was utterly annoying how many of your memories he was in. Even more bothersome that you enjoyed having him in all of those memories. Even though it stung like a son of a bitch that he was.

It was those things which would always cause the feelings to bloom after being dormant for a long winter. Made you nauseous just thinking about it. Sure, most people develop crushes on close friends at one point or another, but in your case it was disgusting how infatuated you truly were with the boy. And did he feel the same back? Not to your knowledge or understanding.

Were there times where you were beginning to wonder if maybe your feelings were being reciprocated. Of course! You were only human for god's sake and not too shabby of a person in your personal opinion. Winter formal was a perfect example of one of those instances.

This was the dance in high school that officially morphed the teenager from an awkward, clunky child to that of a blossoming young adult. It was a big deal.

Nearly everyone had dates to the swanky sophomore event, including your best friend.

You on the other hand hadn’t been asked by anyone. As the dance loomed closer and closer, no prospective dates on the horizon for you, Josh did the unthinkable for a high school boy who understood the importance of this event in your eyes.

He called his date and canceled on her so that he could be your date. What was a heartbroken, insecure young lady now had the best guy of all to accompany her to the dance. Tear streaked face and all, he escorted you to the dance and you two had the best time. Even indulging you with a slow dance. By the end of the night, you thought Josh was looking at you…differently. In a way that you had only dreamed about over the years of friendship.

When he walked you to your front door, you thought this might be it. What better way for it to be happening? He had dropped his date to make sure you weren’t going alone, it had been an incredibly romantic and fun night, this had to be it! Your first kiss, with the boy you were head over heels for.

Instead, he smacked your arm, thanked you for a good night, and walked over to his own home right next door. The ol’ Pittsburgh goodbye they called it. Rooted to your spot dumbfounded and utterly disappointed, you felt so stupid for thinking that he was going to look at you as anything more than just a friend.

Your mom had thrown open the front door, ecstatic to hear about how the dance had gone, but you ran past her. Only muttering that you were fine when asked what was wrong, you bounded up the stairs past your father, too.

You went to your room and sobbed for the entire night. Swearing to yourself that no matter what, you would never get your hopes up like that again. You avoided Josh for as long as you could the following days, but when he arrived at your house wondering what the heck was going on with you, your defenses were down.

It was pure torture living like this. Seriously, straight up hellish. Not able to figure out why you could not get over the man that had held your heart in his hand without even knowing it for years. Danny was even at a loss.

During the course of Josh becoming the front man for Greta Van Fleet, you took to the black sheep brother. Completely by accident, but hey at least you had Danny now as well. It had been after a hang out at his apartment where he had cornered you in the kitchen.

Pestering you until you finally admitted your feelings for Josh. He truly did not understand why you had the emotions and feelings you did for the boy, but he supported you nonetheless. A little too much for your liking.

Over the span of the next several years, he was always whispering in your ear that if you just told Josh how you felt, he more than likely would reciprocate what you were feeling. It didn’t matter how many times you told Danny, he would never understand. Jeopardizing that friendship and bond with Josh just simply wasn’t worth it.

Danny swore up and down that no matter what you said to Josh, you would never lose him like how you swore you would. Agreeing with him, you told him it wasn’t Josh you would lose, but the opposite. Josh would lose you. There was no possibility that you would ever be able to face him or continue on with how things had previously been. It’s just how it was.

You accepted it and you just wanted Danny to as well. He swore he would never understand fully why you would want to put yourself through that time and time again, but you ultimately told him that this was how things were and he needed to be the one to reach that level of acceptance that you had.

Even as you got older, watching Josh turn into the celebrity he was always meant to be, performing night after night, your heart still seized up whenever in his presence. Josh had convinced you to relocate to Nashville, stating that there was no way he could live without his best friend not being as close as you had been for years.

He had only been moved for less than three months when he called you, literally begging and pleading with you that he would do whatever it took to get you there with him. That there was no way he would be able to do this without his guiding star. How he was wandering in the desert and without his fixated star to point him in the right direction, he was hopeless.

Josh always had a way with words.

In layman's terms, you picked up your entire life and moved it. For him. You were so in love with him that it even shocked Danny as he helped the move into the apartment. Only shooting him dirty looks as he stared at you in the befuddled way he was, you realized how ridiculous this all seemed.

But it didn’t matter because it was Josh.

He had kept it secret for years and you knew there was no chance of him saying anything to anyone. Sure, it was unbelievably painful to see the conquests Josh was engaging in as he waltzed around the world with his siblings, but Josh wasn’t the relationship type. Or that’s what you used to console yourself because he had never made an actual move with you.

It was also one of the rotated excuses you fed Danny as he would bring it up to you. Josh had said time and time again that domesticity actually frightened him. He was used to this rockstar lifestyle and just the thought of settling down with someone was enough to set his skin aflame.

This was one of the things you had known about him your entire life. He had sworn off serious partnerships ever since high school. It just wasn’t the life for him. It killed you, but it was his wish.

That’s why when he began dating her, you didn’t think twice about it. Just another fling that he would eventually tire of before moving on to the next, maybe to you. Chances of that were slim, but hope propelled you forward.

Josh brought her up to you on a grocery trip he promised to accompany you on. Grabbing a bag of rice, you hardly stopped when he spoke. “I went out on a date last night,” humming as you checked the item from your list, your eyes moved back up and scanned the racks. “She was great actually. I don’t know what I was expecting, but she was fun to be around.”

Snorting at his words, you gave him the look that screamed, be realistic Josh. “What? I’m serious! I really like this girl,” he laughed through his words, but you only rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Can you grab me that jar?” Pointing to the one you needed, he scowled at you.

“Thank you for listening and being of help,” his words were dripping in sarcasm, but they had you stop moving the cart as you walked together. “Joshua. Come on, I know you. Relationships aren’t your thing, which were your own words by the way. You see how hard it is on Jake and Sam with their relationships, it’s also why Danny is no longer in one. I just want you to do what’s best for you.”

His brow furrowed as he thought about your words. “So, I’m just supposed to be alone forever then?” Scoffing, you began pushing the cart again. “Not what I said. All I’m saying is just take a moment and really think about this.” He huffed, but followed along with you, grabbing a box of cereal he knew you loved.

“Asshole.” He mumbled under his breath, but you heard. In retaliation you shoved the cart in his direction causing him to topple into the shelving unit. Bursting into laughter, his face was beat red in embarrassment, but couldn’t contain the laughter seeping out as people eyed him.

“You’re gonna pay for that.” And that was practically the last you had heard of her. Josh hadn’t brought her up again. With another tour impending and an album wrapping up, you didn’t give it a second thought when Josh withdrew from you a bit.

This was typically what he did when he needed his attention to go elsewhere. Especially on something as important as an album and tour. Danny on the other hand was constantly bugging you to spend some time with him and when your schedules finally aligned, you trekked over to his house for dinner and a movie.

It was when there was mention of her for the first time from someone other than Josh. Catching you entirely off guard, you and Danny were sitting at his kitchen island, munching on the last remnants of dinner when he brought it up. “He’s still seeing her.” Your brows contorted in confusion, speaking through a small bite of food.

“What?” He set his fork down, eyeing you to see what your reaction was going to be. “Josh. He’s still seeing her. Been a few weeks now.” It felt like a punch to the gut, but you did your best to play it off. “Thanks for the update, I guess?” You laughed, but Danny didn’t match your faux enthusiasm. “I met her for the first time. We met her for the first time.” You only hummed in response, using the napkin to wipe at your mouth, meal now finished.

Thoughts ran rampant in your mind. Was she the reason he was constantly blowing you off? Was she the reason you hadn’t heard from him in a week? This was the longest he had ever spent in a fling. What the hell did that even mean? It didn’t mean anything because at the end of the day it was still Josh.

Knowing you only had another moment to respond to Danny before he noticed something was off, you placed your plate in his sink, acting occupied with this task. Back facing him so he couldn’t see your response that you knew would be plastered to your face you finally answered.

“Yeah. How was it?” You inquired, not because you were actually interested in knowing, in fact it was the exact opposite. You didn’t want to know. At all. He leaned on the kitchen island directly behind you. “He really likes her.” You snorted, finally turning around to see Danny’s apologetic face staring down at you.

Shaking your head, you pointed your finger at him. “Don’t.” His hands went up, a shrug following. “Don’t what? I’m not doing anything.” Your head cocked at him. “You’re giving me that look.” Brows furrowing in response, he feigned innocence.

“What look? I’m not giving you a look.” Your arms crossed soundly over your chest, irritation starting to bubble up. “Yes you are! It’s that look that you give me whenever you tell me about a new Josh interest. I’m telling you, it’s going to be just like the other ones.” The waver in your voice was something you prayed he didn’t notice. Trying to sell yourself that bogus excuse.

Was it bogus?

He shrugged again, arms crossing over his chest, tongue poking his cheek. “I don’t know, star. This one seems…different.” You shook the words off. “Josh would’ve said something to me by now if it was different.” Your fingers made air quotes around the final word.

With your back now to the drummer again, his words sat heavy on your shoulders as they left his mouth. “Would he?” That was a damn good question. Would he? Josh had never shied away from giving you details about various entanglements, but he hadn’t so much as peeped about this one.

Would he?

It was what was replaying over in your head as you sat on his sofa. The first time you two had hung out in almost two weeks. Why was it making you so upset? Because you knew the actual reason why he hadn’t seen you. Traces of her were all over his house despite his efforts to hide it from you. He was outright lying to you. It stabbed you in the chest when he tried to feed you the lie.

They had been adamantly working on getting the nitty gritty details about the tour nailed down. That was what Josh told you. Danny told you something different. He was lying to you. Josh never lied to you. Until now.

Not on purpose anyways.

Of course, small white lies here and there were normal, but given the details Danny was giving you, Josh was blatantly trying to hide her from you. You just didn’t know why. Did she not know about you? Did Josh not want her to know about you? Why?

Josh threw a piece of crumpled paper at your head, laughing when your attention snapped back to the present, pulling you from your thoughts. “Where have you been? You’ve been off in wonderland all night. What’s going on?” You only plastered a smile on your weary face, offering a small shrug.

“Just,” debating on actually talking to him about this or giving him the option to tell you in his own time, you spoke, “just super tired from work is all.” It was Josh. He would tell you. There was obviously a reason why he hadn’t yet. You just didn’t know it.

It turns out the reason why he didn’t inform you of their…entanglement was because of how he wanted to do it. “I want you to meet her.” He finally blurted out one night. This evening had been spent in your home, a proclaimed self care night by Josh. According to him, your shitty moods around him and your constant excuse of work killing you, meant it was up to him to fix it.

So, here you were, sprawled out on your couch with him. Both wearing face masks, nails drying from the new polish he had gotten you, eyes shut with ice packs over your sockets, it caught you off guard.

“Huh?” You questioned, trying not to move your face with the mask on it. “I want to take you out to dinner so you can meet her. Seriously star, you’ll love her. She’s great.” Being able to use the mask as an excuse not to respond, your stomach was doing somersaults at just the thought of sitting at a table with whoever this girl was.

Feeling his finger poke your cheek, you pulled the ice packs from your eyes and narrowed them at him. “I don’t know, Josh.” Giving you the best puppy dog look he could, pushing out his bottom lip. “Please, star? It would mean so much to me. You’re my best friend and I really think you should meet her. Please?”

You gave in. It’s why you were sitting at an incredibly high end restaurant, waiting for them to arrive. Checking your phone to see a message from Danny, asking why the hell you would agree to something like that, you flipped it back over to be face down when you spotted them coming towards the table.

Standing to greet them, Josh pulled you into a tight embrace, a fake smile plastered to your lips as you took her in for the first time. Offering your hand and name, you didn’t hear her response. She was breathtaking. In a ridiculous sort of way that made you question what kind of genes ran in her family. Or if this was class a work done by some surgeon in Florida or California.

Sitting back down, you nervously shifted in your seat. Alone on your side of the table, Josh’s arm draped over the back of hers. Both of them beaming with happiness and joy. Your energy did not match theirs. Josh finally broke the tension you were almost 100% positive only you were feeling.

“Sorry we were late, star. Traffic was a-uh, nightmare.” His small chuckle at the end and the blush tinting his cheeks informed you right then that they had not been delayed by traffic. Waving him off, you chugged an entire glass of wine. “It’s fine. Oh-excuse me sir! Another glass please,” you asked the waiter, tapping the rim to let him know it was urgent.

Your ring clinked against the glass loudly as you repeatedly hit it, nervously waiting for the server to come back with the bottle.

It was truly the only way to get through the night. Yet, you did somehow manage to get through it. It was excruciating, but you did it. Sure, you were a bit past buzzed, losing count after the fourth glass of wine, but it was enough to get you through it.

She was a captivating person, that you could admit. Having traveled so much of the world by such a young age, a college degree under her belt, possibly another in the near future, and working for a fashion app you had never heard of, but apparently was quite popular.

It made you hate her even more.

Not bothering to offer a large goodbye to the pairing, you hurried off in the opposite direction of where they stood, Josh confused by your behavior tonight. Hailing an Uber, you had him deliver you to the only place you could think to go.

When Danny opened the door and saw your mascara streaked face, his seldom gaze met yours. Falling into his open arms, you wailed into his chest. Smoothing down your hair, he patted your back with his free hand. “I know, star, I know.”

You crashed on Danny’s couch that night. Soundly snoring away on his sofa, he sighed, removing the heels from your feet, seeing your phone screen light up repeatedly. Josh asking if you had made it home safe and if you were alright.

He stepped out of the room, dialing Josh who picked up immediately. “Hey, I saw your messages to star and I wanted to let you know she came to my house.” An immediate breath of relief expelling from his lungs. “Thank god. She was a bit,” Danny cut him off.

“Drunk? Yeah, I know. She crashed on my couch.” Josh sighed, telling Danny to have to call him in the morning. It was the last thing you wanted to do. To discuss the events from the night before. Wanting to permanently erase the traces of it from your mind all together.

Not wanting to leave Danny’s a minute before you absolutely needed to, he pushed you out of his front door to see Josh’s car parked in the driveway waiting for you. Pouting at Danny, his stern gaze peered at you. “Go. I’ll be here if you need me.” Huffing you slowly made your way to the Jeep.

Immediately turning down the loud music blasting through the speakers, you groaned. “A bit hungover are we?” He laughed, handing you the sunglasses you always kept in his car. Grumbling in response, he started the drive to your apartment.

“We need to talk about last night, star.” Sighing, you rested your forehead on your palm, elbow on the windowsill. “Pass.” You said, but Josh put the car in park after having got your coffee for the day.

Sipping the cold liquid, you sighed with the caffeinated relief. “Why did you go to Danny’s?” His tone sounded hurt and unsure. “What?” You said with a small laugh. “You get drunk at a very important dinner for me, hardly utter a goodbye, then run off to Danny’s house. Is there something going on between you two?”

Your jaw hung slack, immediately shaking your head. “Oh my god, no. He’s just a good friend. It’s just that he,” trying to decide how to word this properly, you sat on your response for a beat. “It’s just that Danny and I are the two lonesome folk of the group so we hang out to keep each other company. That’s all,” you assured Josh.

There was no possibility of telling him the full truth, but that was pretty spot on for what you could give him. It wasn’t far from the full truth at all, really. You and Danny were the only singles of the group, therefore he could relate to what you were feeling. Kind of.

Josh bought it. Squeezing your hand over the center console, the familiar coldness shocking your system as he did. “I know. I’m sorry,” you offered a reassuring smile, relaxing into the seat and asking him to drive you home. He did and the entire way, he didn’t mention her once.

He never did. Following the disaster of a first meeting, Josh got a sense that you weren’t the biggest fan of his interest so in order to keep things calm, he simply didn’t bring her up. You were fine with that at first.

Until it felt like he was explicitly leaving out most of the details of his life and what was really happening to him. Conversations were growing shorter as he came up with little to talk about given he was around her so often, there were few stories that didn’t involve her. That was when you actually saw him anyway.

Those nights that had once been a comfort and familiarity to you were sparse now. Few and far between to happen. When you would text him asking if he was available, you typically weren’t getting responses for over twenty-four hours. Instead, you found yourself wandering over to Danny’s more often than ever.

He was a true comfort, no longer pestering you about the crush he didn’t understand, but enjoying your presence. Movies, food, even self care nights had seemingly transferred over from your best friend to Danny.

Sitting on his sofa, face masks adorned, a knock on his front door startled you both as you cackled at the movie playing on his tv. Danny hurried to the door and pulled it open to reveal a frizzy haired boy whom you hadn’t laid eyes on in weeks, nearing a month now that you thought back on it.

Josh leaned around the boy after seeing what was on his face and saw you settled on the couch. His brow furrowed and irritation bubbled up. “What are you guys doing? Danny I’ve been trying to get a hold of you,” Danny pulled his phone from his back pocket at those words and saw a few missed messages from the man in front of him.

“Okay, well you found me, what’s up?” Leaning against the front door, your head craned to see Josh. “We’re having a selfcare night!” You called out, watching as Josh’s jaw set. He only hummed in response, eyes never leaving your relaxed figure. A shirt of Danny’s on you as well.

“I-um, we need you to re-record a part of Sacred the Thread. Didn’t come out like we were hoping,” Danny’s brow muddled together. “Yeah, alright, I’ll come by tomorrow.” Josh blinked up at the younger drummer and nodded curtly.

Turning on his heel, he didn’t say anything else as he left. Danny shot you a wild look as you two burst out laughing. “The hell is his problem?” He spoke as he collapsed back down next to you. Shrugging, you hit play as the show started back up. “It’s Josh, you know how he gets.”

When the timer on your phone went off, you grabbed Danny’s wrist, dragging him to his bathroom. “C’mon, masks need to come off.” He followed you without any restraint.

You heard from Josh first thing the next morning. Showing up at your doorstep, he barged into your apartment without any warning. Startling you, you nearly dropped your glass of juice as you shot daggers at him. “What the fuck, Josh?”

His hands landed on his hips, eyes bloodshot and staring at you. “I’m only going to ask you one more time. What’s going on between you and Danny?” Rolling your eyes you leaned against your counter. “I’ve already answered that and I’m not going to again. By the way, this is the first time you’ve spoken to me in what, three or four weeks, and this is how you do it?” Scoffing, you sipped the orange juice.

Noticing that his hands had a small tremble that he was trying to mask, he shook his head fervently, regaining your attention. “Sorry.” It was curt and short, indicating he didn’t truly meet it. Sighing, your eyebrows only raised.

“Anything else?” You questioned, clearly annoyed by how your morning was starting. He released a deep breath that he had been holding in his sternum. “Can-can we hang out sometime next week? Please?”

Your mouth set, shrugging at his question. “You know where to find me.” Not expecting that type of response from you, he looked taken aback. He left your apartment that morning and it was another few weeks before you heard a peep from him again.

The hang out that Josh requested didn’t actually occur until two months later. It wasn’t as easy going and comfortable as you reminisced on how things used to be. He had a permanent look of guilt plastered to his face from the moment he took you in.

It was only an hour later when Josh cleared his throat as you two ate in almost complete silence. Eyes falling to him, you saw a grin appearing on his face. One that you hadn’t seen in your presence in far too long. “I have to tell you something.”

Placing your utensil down, you didn’t speak as he reached behind him and grabbed a small gift bag from the counter. Taking out what appeared to be a small box, he slid it across the table to you, the lid opened.

Anger immediately pummeled you.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Josh?” Refusing to touch it, you eyed him and the item in pure disgust. He laughed at your appalled reaction, cheeks tinting pink. “Yeah, that’s what Jake said too.” Standing from your seat, you peered down at him. “No fucking shit! What the hell are you thinking?”

He rolled his eyes in retaliation. “I love her, star. I have never felt this for anyone else in my life. Ever. I never knew that something like this could even exist! She makes me so happy and I make her happy. If I know she’s the one, which she is, then why would I wait? She and I can start our forever now.”

Shaking your head at his explanation, you stared at him like he was out of his mind. “Do you realize how insane you sound? It’s been, what, six months? This is a huge mistake in the making, Josh. You need to slow down and really think about this.” His smile never diminished as he stood.

“I have and I’m going to ask her to marry me, star.” You couldn’t stand there and listen to this. Turning, you grabbed your purse from the couch and quickly walked to the front door. With Josh hot on your trail, he was calling out to you.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you seriously that upset? What did I do? Star!” He halted as he saw you get in your car, silent tears making streaks on your cheeks. “Star?” He asked once more, voice diminishing in volume as you pulled out of his driveway and went home.

Ignoring the texts and calls that he was bombaring your phone with, you couldn’t bring yourself to get up from your bed. It felt like your entire world had crumbled around you in the blink of an eye. The boy next door that you had been hopelessly in love with since you could remember had chosen someone else to spend his forever with.

Some people are destined to be your almost. Not everyone gets the fairytale ending of being with the person who they thought they were destined to be with. Just because that person might be meant for you, doesn’t mean you’re meant for them. There has to be people who don’t get the guy. That was your destiny with Josh.

Your almost.

A knock on your door woke you up from your partially sleepy mood. Opening the door, his face was fully covered by an enormous bouquet. Sighing, you leaned against your door as he pulled them down to reveal a small, unsure smile.

“I’m sorry. I’m an inconsiderate asshole. I’m stupid and insensitive.” Lips pursing ever so slightly, you chimed in. “Stupid sounds about right,” snatching the beautiful bundle of flowers, you left the door open behind you as you went to your kitchen and set the flowers in the sink.

Eyeing him, his familiar mauve tracksuit adorned you jabbed at him. “That tracksuit makes you look like a forty year old virgin, you know that?” He shrugged, bottom lip jutting out. “That’s a fair assumption to make.” You hummed.

Slowly approaching you, he gingerly pulled you into his embrace. “I really am sorry. I didn’t realize until you left how it must’ve sounded for you. You will find your person someday. I will make a more conscious effort to tamp speeches like that down from now on. You know how much I like to talk.”

You both chuckled, savoring the feeling of his familiar arms wrapped around your waist in a way you would never tire of. The words stung, but you knew he was being sincere. As sincere as he possibly could anyways. “Thanks Joshy.”

When he pulled back, his cold hands cupped your cheeks, a large smile adorning his face. That small tooth gap that you absolutely adored so visible from this close. “I love you.” You smiled back at him, hands holding onto his bony wrists. “Love you too.”

Josh remained at your house for the rest of the night.

He asked her only two weeks later. It was a big show he had put on for her. Their style you were assuming. If anyone ever asked you to marry them in that fashion you would’ve said no. It must’ve been perfect for her because to everyone's surprise she said yes.

Only six months together and they were engaged. Of course everyone was expecting a long engagement, but in some sick fluke Josh informed everyone at the same time that it was only going to be two months from their proposal date.

You were shocked to your core. According to Josh, they only wanted something small and intimate and because of that, it could be that quick of a turn around. One interaction. That’s all you had experienced with this person who was going to be marrying your best friend. In two months.

Sitting in Danny’s living room with the other siblings, you were all ranting about the pure absurdity of the situation. “This isn’t even like him! Since when has he wanted to settle down like this? And this fast? No, it’s not, Josh!” Jake’s voice was rising with every word he spoke.

Sitting on the couch, your arms were crossed over your chest, steam shooting from your ears. “Star, maybe you can get through to him! He listens to you.” You shrugged, making eye contact with the worried twin, Sam and Danny sitting there in contemplative silence. “I already tried. He is dead set on doing this, Jake. I don’t know what else to do, but this isn’t good.”

He harshly sat on the arm of the sofa, putting his face in his hands. “Fuck!” He yelled, throwing one of the items from Danny’s side table. “Hey!” He yelled at the action, Jake muttering an apology and retrieving the item to put it back in its spot.

You all sat there for hours discussing the situation at hand and what could possibly be done. The answer? Nothing. There was nothing any of you could do. Grin and bear it. The only way you were ever going to be able to do that was going to be to distance yourself from the entire event all together.

Easy enough. Until Josh approached you with a major question.

“Please, star!” You were eyeing him like you had no idea who the person was standing before you. “Josh, listen to what you’re asking me.” He nodded, somewhat understanding your predicament. “I know, but it would mean so much to me.” Sighing, you rubbed tiredly at your eyes.

“It’s weird, right? I hardly know her and-” he cut you off, slight irritation prickling his tone. “Exactly! You hardly know her and I’m about to marry her. She wants nothing more than to be your friend. Just go to the bachelorette weekend, I will pay for you, and just try to get to know her.”

His doe eyes stared widely at you, hope dancing in his dark irises. “Fine, fine. I’ll go.”

That’s how you got to where you currently are. Sitting in a dark hotel room, a bunch of drunk strangers passed out in the suite living room, contemplating your entire friendship with Josh and if this weekend had been worth it.

The door creaked open, startling you in the darkness, but when she appeared you slightly calmed down. The only person you somewhat recognized from the trip. “Hey, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” Putting a tight lipped smile on, you flicked the bedside lamp on.

“No worries. You okay?” She pointed at the edge of the bed, silently asking if she could sit there. Nodding, she sat giving you a genuine smile. “Thanks for being so cool this weekend, I know my friends can be kind of a lot.” You both laughed under your breath. “Ah, they’re not bad. Welcomed me right in.”

Her eyes lit up at that. “Good, good! I’m so glad. I wanted you to have fun this weekend and I really wanted to get to know you. You and Josh are so close and you know literally everything about him which I don’t, you know? You should hear how often he talks about you. Seriously, it’s so intimidating being around you. He has this phenomenal opinion about you and I just want us to be friends.” Your breath caught in your throat at her words, feeling it grow tighter with the praise you learned Josh constantly showers you in when you weren’t around.

“No, I’m none of that. Josh just likes to hear himself talk is all.” She bursted out in laughter, her next sentence making you halt your movements and truly question every decision he had made to get to this spot. “Does he really? I don’t know, he’s kind of quiet around me.”

You didn’t knock, the door was more than likely unlocked anyways. Bursting into his home, he was startled to see you in his house like that, but his mood immediately changed when he saw you there. “Star! How was it?”

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” His eyes blew wide, startled by your anger. “Excuse me?” Shaking your head quickly, you battled your thoughts. “How are you marrying this girl, Josh? You don’t know her! She doesn’t know you! At all! I mean for fucks sake you look fucking insane, Josh!”

He tried calming you down as he approached you. “Star, what happened? Did something happen on the trip?” You walked to him and grabbed his face. “Yes! I realized that I have no idea who you even are anymore. This is not you. This is not like you. You don’t do this shit. This is not Josh.” Your words evened out, but he only grew angry.

Pulling away from your grasp, he exploded. “I know what I’m doing. I’m so fucking sick and tired of hearing everyone bitch at me about this. It is my life! None of you, especially you, run it. I do! You are just the same sad and lonely girl that I’ve always known who tears down everyone's happiness, particularly mine when it has nothing to do with you. News flash, my world doesn’t revolve around you and I pray it never will! I’ve grown and maybe you need to too!”

Tears welled in your eyes, sniffling as your eyes fell downcast. His chest was heaving from yelling, but you couldn’t look at him.

“Okay. Well, then I will get out of the way of your happiness and entirely extract myself from your world then, right? Congratulations Josh. Have a great wedding.” He sighed, trying to backtrack on what he said. “Star, no hold on.” You didn’t stick around to hear anything else.

Nearly every single day Josh had hounded your phone trying to get in contact with you. Showing up at your door nearly every other day with a flower delivery for apologies. Each time he returned, the flowers remained on your doorstep.

Getting to the point where you were almost ready to block his number all together, you watched the days tick by, seeing his wedding date get closer and closer. An invitation having arrived in your mail weeks ago, but landed right in the garbage.

There was no way you were going to be able to actually attend the wedding. Of course you understood that his outburst had been in retaliation for the way you had spoken to him, but the burn of the words had yet to scab.

Danny stood in your kitchen, cutting up fruit as he shook his head in shock. “You have to go to his wedding, star. You can’t miss Josh’s wedding, are you crazy?” Rubbing the bridge of your nose, your eyes were pinned shut. “Drop it, Danny.”

Scoffing in response, he talked as he chewed on a strawberry. “No, I will not drop it. This is Josh we’re talking about. You are not going to miss his wedding. It would devastate him.” Grabbing a piece of pineapple, you took the moment of reprieve to craft your response.

You hadn’t uttered a word of the blowout that had occurred between you and Josh that night. Knowing it was an interaction of high stress and tension, you decided it was best to just let it lie. Sure, it complicated matters pertaining to you not attending the wedding, but it was a small price to pay.

Danny on the other hand knew something was wrong. There was no chance that you would actually miss Josh’s wedding simply because you had feelings for him and weren’t a huge fan of his partner of choice. That just wasn’t you.

Wanting to know the full story, if he pestered you enough he knew you would crack. And crack you did. In fact, it was a decade of turmoil and emotion slamming together in a horrific tsunami that would only leave deviation in its wake.

“God, Danny, why don’t you get it? I have been in love with that boy since I was a child! I pictured everything with him. This is tearing me up to witness this. I try to tell him how I feel and he throws in my face that I am sad and lonely and you know what? He’s right! I am sad and I am lonely. I spent so long holding out for someone that will never love me like I love them. I am tired and I just can’t do it!” Sobs wracked your body, face tight from the shed tears cascading down your swollen face, a shaking mess as you hiccuped.

Danny immediately dropped it, Offering comfort the only way he knew how to, he held you while you sobbed over the reality you faced. Your best friend was getting married in a week's time, you weren’t going to be there, you two had gotten into a knock out drag out fight, and to top it all off you were still alone and sad.

So, what did that leave you to do?

Sit on your couch for a week, self loathing and not offering anyone a definitive answer if you were actually going to attend the wedding or not. Instead, you wore an oversized t-shirt you had owned since middle school, hair an absolute mess, watching reruns of your favorite show that you had spent most of your childhood watching with Josh.

Shooting Danny a text that morning that your will not attend was set in stone, he didn’t tell anyone. Not until Josh approached him and asked if you had rode over with him. When Danny pulled him aside to break the news, you were happy you weren’t there to witness that.

It didn’t matter because he brought it to you.

Pounding on your door, a tuxedo-clad Josh stood on the other side of the threshold. You two stood in silence, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Taking him in before you, you finally spoke first.

“Aren't you supposed to be-” he cut you off before you could finish, “Yes.” You nodded, blinking rapidly as your eyes fell down. “Okay.” Foot bouncing, you finally moved to the side letting him step into your apartment.

Jaw setting, you couldn’t take your eyes off each other. “What are you do-” he cut you off again. “Are you in love with me?” Swallowing thickly, your head began to move in response, eyes welling with tears, cottonmouth setting in. “Because I’m in love with you.”

Lips parting in awe, your chin trembled, tears silently falling from your eyes. “Ho-how?” You choked out, but Josh spoke loudly and quickly over you. “I was in the room, getting ready to head out to get to the altar and I was staring at this ring,” he pulled it from his pocket as he continued.

“Danny had just told me you weren’t coming and I saw her. She’s there fully ready in her dress, getting some photos taken or something, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was you not being there and if I needed you there that badly then maybe,” it was a shaky breath, hand falling as he held the ring still, “then maybe that meant something.”

Crossing the room, he stood directly in front of you. “I love you, star. You are my light, my being, everything I could ever want or imagine in a partner. You are the person I have to spend the rest of my life with because it just doesn’t make sense any other way. This ring is yours. It was only ever meant for you. There is no one else in this universe who I would want to wear this ring. It’s you, star. It’s always been you.”

Your hand covered your mouth as you choked out a laugh, knowing that Josh was offering you his hand right then. You nodded, a teary yes escaping your throat as Josh crushed you to him in a meeting you wouldn’t forget for the rest of your life.

Some people are destined to be your almost. Because not everyone gets the fairytale ending of being with the person who they thought they were destined to be with. Just because that person might be meant for you, doesn’t mean you’re meant for them. There has to be people who don’t get the guy.

That was what you believed your destiny was to be with Josh. Sometimes things work out in ways you never understand. Instead of being your almost, he was always going to be your forever.

Maybe fairytales weren’t so stupid after all.

[vasyandii]

KruegerNak Fic- Like Talking

Synopsis: Late night talks with each other, this was before they started dating. Krueger pining tiny bit.

Characters: Sebastian Krueger, Phayvanh "Nak" Sotsvahn

Type: Casual, dialogue heavy

Warnings: None, other than slightly crude humour

Word count: 300+

Creator Note: Hey y'all! This is my first time writing a fic + publishing it, sorry if some stuff is clunky/weirdly formatted. As always, the art is done by me :3!! I'm much better as an artist than a writer xD

TV sounds filter into the background of his quarters as some sitcom reruns smeared across the screen - mindless entertainment for a brain bored outta its skull. Krueger reaches for his phone.

Nak had been mindlessly scrolling for hours to tire herself out, her apartment was quiet. She expected him to call today; but who the Hell calls at this hour?

“Hello?” Phayvanh answered, sitting up in her bed.

“Hey, want to talk?” Sebastian's voice crackled through the phone from his quarters at the base.

“I was about to head to bed, actually.”

“Oh. Should I call tomorrow?”

*He sounds... disappointed?* She could feel it through her end of the phone.

“I can stay up,” Phayvanh accepted, a pillow in her lap.

"Good." He monotoned, sounding more relieved.

"What're you up to?"

"Drinking," Sebastian replied

Phayvanh chuckled, "So the usual?"

"The usual." He murmured acknowledgingly, nursing a bottle of beer.

"Drinking is soooo overrated. I'm surprised your liver didn't give out on you yet. "

"Ya, right," he mocked, letting out a gruff chuckle that rumbled through the phone. "I've seen how much you drink."

“What, am I not allowed to let loose once in a while?”

“You can let loose when your vomit finally lands in a bucket.”

"Your face makes me vomit," she said deliberately.

Sebastian chuckled, "I'll carry a bucket around next time we see each other, then.”

“Asshole.”

"Thank you," His smirk widened at her words.

"Not a compliment, Baldy."

A comfortable silence settled between them, a normal occurrence these days. It wasn't like they ran out of things to talk about, somethings don't need to be said.

"It's late, you should probably go to bed, no?"

"Nah," Sebastian grumbled dismissively, “The night’s still young.”

"You sure?"

"Yeah, Phay," he replied softly, the edge to his voice having dimmed down. "Just... like talking to you, ya know? You're not too bored of my ass yet, are you?"

"No, no." She trailed off a little, much more gentle. "I'm not bored of you."

"That's good," he mumbled, the previously assertive tone of his voice replaced with uncharacteristic softness.

The hum of the TV filled the brief silence before he finally admitted, "Because... I'm not bored of you either."

[superstarzolar]

aaaaand the beta version of the wiki is done!!!! there's still more to be added (such as locations, more events, and character references) but I'm pretty happy with its current state, and those updates will come in due time!!

sorry if its a bit clunky and/or hard to navigate, i have literally no idea how to format a website, let alone a wiki

[tangledmelody]

The Beast of Asgard - Loki Laufeyson x Reader/Female Original Character

A canon non-compliant fic heavily inspired by Disney's beauty and the Beast. Featuring gothic vibes, sexual tension, and my personal favorite character from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Read onward if you're looking for something with a slow burn, mutual pining, and eventual explicit themes. (Yes, this is shameless self promotion. I like seeing the little numbers on ao3 go up- sue me.)

Written in first person POV with a named female OC intended to be interpreted as a reader insert. There are references to her backstory and thoughts, so I wouldn't consider this a true reader insert.

This fic eventually delves into darker themes, including but not limited to: vivid depictions of mental anguish and anxiety, implied and referenced mental illness/anxiety, panic attacks, sexual harassment, general misogynistic themes, and eventually explicit and detailed sexual content. Said sexual themes will include dream sex (including scenes where one party is unaware that said dream has actual, real world consequences), dubious consent potentially interpreted as non-consent, and general debauchery.

Sorry for the clunky formatting. I haven't used Tumblr in many years.

CHAPTER ONE - Winter's Call

Word Count: 2,582

I once asked my father to define the difference between a house and a home. 

“A home,” he had said, voice deep in that reverent tone he sometimes used when he was lost in thought, “is full of love.” 

He had sighed then, gazing longingly at the portrait hanging above the fireplace. My mother was always the first to greet visitors and that hadn't changed after death. Her eyes had been painted as stoic pools of blue and her mouth was rendered as a thin straight line. It was a near perfect likeness of her, but it missed all the things that had made her so beautiful in life. There are so many details of a person's life that a portrait cannot capture, and so many stories that a eulogy cannot sum up. 

My mother was a force of nature. She was stubborn and proud and most of all she was kind. She was kind when it mattered and she was kind when it didn't. She had told me once that kindness counted the most when it didn't matter. That when you choose to be kind, even when there are no consequences for choosing not to be, that those are the moments that define a person. 

My mother was the glue that held our family together. Now that she is gone the pieces of our family portrait have started to fall out of the frame. My father is starting to fray at the edges. His corners have started to curl inwards- away from mine. We are two moons without a planet, and we have lost the one thing keeping us within the same orbit.

If mama was here… she would know what to say. She would have greeted me when I tumbled through the doorway. Her arms would have been open and warm and inviting. But most importantly, her eyebrows would have crinkled together in that peculiar way that they always had when she was concerned. She would have held me for as long as I needed her to, and somehow she would know, just as she always did, when I was ready to pull away. And then, just like she always did when I was upset, she would pour me a cup of steaming hot tea and we would sit in silence until I was ready to form words again. 

Except she isn't here. And my father isn't here. And I am alone. 

It's a rather unfortunate thing to be alone with one's thoughts in the dead of night. Particularly when one's thoughts are full of fear and anger and *panic*. 

I rip my gaze away from my mother's portrait, still covered in the bolt of gauze-like, black fabric that I had draped atop it so many years ago. She cannot help me now. I have to get through this on my own.

. . . . . . . .

My thoughts are still too loud. 

I stand - too suddenly, haphazardly and jerky. My feet have grown numb and I stumble forward on my leaden legs. My limbs carry me to the door, movements stilted, as if I am a marionette. I am a doll on strings, not fully aware of my movements, not really questioning them at all. Something inside me tells me to leave, and I listen- foolishly and recklessly. But I do listen.

My thoughts are full of everything and nothing. I am a rabbit, a deer, a prey animal- stumbling across the threshold, eyes wide, head swiftly turning left to right. My coat, brown and soft and downy, hides my body from the harsh winter. It is a camouflage I don't remember donning. Had I ever taken it off?

The wind whistles through the empty streets as I slip out of the dimly lit cottage I call home. It grazes against my cheeks- a bitter reminder of the sudden drop in temperature. I step onto the snow covered streets, grateful that the moon illuminates them from above. My footsteps form a staccato rhythm, boots crunching noisily over the freshly lain blanket of snow. 

I watch my breath form icy clouds as I venture farther from home. My footsteps disappear quickly as I walk. The biting cold seeps through my coat and I pull it tighter against myself. I am a smudge of brown against a stark white canvas. I stick out against the landscape. I am as obvious against the snow as the colorful buildings of the village that surround me.

I walk past my home, past the little garden that had died out a month ago. I pass the stained white fence- paint chipped from all its years of use. My feet take me toward the library. It was my sanctuary once, not so long ago. But now- now I cannot stand to look at the pale blue building.

. . . . . . . .

My breath quickens to form short panicked gasps. My fingers, frozen and unyielding, clamber at my face. I touch my cheeks, my nose, my chin- looking for any and all evidence that proves that I am *here*. That I am *safe*. That I am *alive*. 

My head turns back toward the village houses, unbidden. They have transformed into barely visible specks scattered across the winter horizon. 

I am the only one brave enough to face the storm- or the only one stupid enough. 

I turn away from the village, and in doing so I turn away from the memories. I have to shut them out- have to keep walking- to keep moving. I can no longer afford to stand still. Not when my thoughts are rattling against my skull, crashing violently from one moment to the next. 

I can barely recognize the way the landscape shifts and changes as I continue blindly forward. I can focus only on putting one foot in front of the other. My thoughts are too loud to focus on anything else. I am pushed forward by instinct alone.

I keep walking.

When I’m far enough from the village that I lose sight of the lights shining through the windows of my neighbor’s houses I break off into a run. 

My heart pounds in sync with the sound of my boots crunching over the field of twinkling snow. The wind throws fat white flakes of snow into my eyes. The world around me blurs. I am half blind in the dark.

I keep running.

. . . . . . .

Moonlight flickers through the branches above me as I run deeper into the unknown. Branches snap underneath me as I go- harsh and loud against the silent night. I lurch forward, unsteady and unsure on this new terrain. I run with my arms held up over my head; branches slide and snap over my coat, some of them carving light scratches into my skin. 

I don't even know what I'm running from, but everything in me screams to move, to run as fast as I can. So I do. I keep running. 

I am exhausted. I keep running. 

. . . . . . . .

I am brought back into myself with the harsh sting of a branch hitting tender flesh. I reach up with one hand, cupping my frozen cheek with numb fingers. The sticky sweet scent of blood wafts through the air as I bring my hand away. 

My legs stutter, as I clumsily slow to a stop. The trees are so close together that I have lost sight of the moon. The forest here is dense- a tangled tapestry of trees and bushes and scattered foliage. Everything is messy and wild and so *unfamiliar*. It aches. 

My muffled heartbeats roar in my ears as I struggle to catch my breath. I fold myself in half as I desperately try to force my lungs to work. 

My mind returns to me slowly; my thoughts return to me all at once.

It occurs to me now, that I am standing in the middle of the woods, half frozen and utterly lost, that this was a bad idea. A terrible idea in fact. The realization that I have absolutely no idea where I am makes the air around me feel colder, or maybe I am only now realizing just *how* cold it is now that I have finally stopped moving.

But he is not here. He is not with me. 

*I am safe*.

. . . . . . . .

I twist desperately trying to find a landmark, anything that I can follow to take me home,  and am terrified to see that my footsteps have already disappeared underneath the falling snow. There is a field of nearly identical trees in every direction. I am cold and I am exhausted. I have nowhere to go. I don’t even know where I am. 

I think of my father and how he is doing on his journey- wonder if he is on his way home yet. Will he make it back early only to find that I am not there? Will he even realize that something is wrong- or will he even care? I think about my neighbors and how most of them probably won't realize that I've gone missing. I think about the library with its cozy alcoves and the occasional potted plant peeking through the shelves- a place of refuge turned into a grim reminder. 

My hands ball into fists as the memory twists. He has made so many things unbearable- turned so many cherished memories into something bitter and unpleasant. 

I barely register the way my palms ache as I dig my nails into the tender flesh- can barely feel the icy cold as it rises up to greet me. 

The icy shock of snow hitting my knees jolts me out of my thoughts, the bitter cold seeping through my skirts. I adjust myself, so that I can pull my knees to my chest. 

It's quite possibly the stupidest thing I could be doing right now, but I don't care. I'm cold. I'm angry. And I'm frightened. I have nowhere to go, no refuge from the weather. I'm lost and hopeless and quite possibly going to freeze to death- 

And I don’t care. 

I cry until my lungs collapse underneath the weight of the sound. I don’t know how long I sit like that for- knees clenched tightly to my chest, curled up onto the frozen earth. My neck aches when I move to look at the night sky above me.

I flinch as the cold air hits my face. Twin trails of tears under my eyes carve icy rivers into my cheeks and they fall, one by one, onto the snow-capped forest below. 

I watch as birds carve a frantic path through the air. I feel a surge of jealousy go through me when I realize that I’ll never be able to find my way through the forest as quickly as they have. I wonder if they can even see me from their vantage point in the trees or if the forest has swallowed me whole.

. . . . . . . .

Time has been moving in strange ways today. I can’t decide whether I’ve lost minutes or hours in the forest. 

My chest aches. My lungs feel like they are coated in ash. 

I can no longer feel my face. I’ve long since lost the feeling in my fingers and toes. 

I am pulled out of my thoughts by a flash of green light. The vibrant light stands out against the muted, ink-stained landscape around it. I have to force myself to look away from the shining light. It shimmers before fading out- shifting hues too quickly for me to name any particular one. 

It leaves a raven behind. 

The bird tilts its head left and right. It gazes at me slowly, like it’s assessing me. Two beady eyes focus on me- an eerily human gaze staring at me in the dark. It evaluates me for a tense moment before it throws its head back and screams. The sound pierces through the still quiet of the snowy evening and I can’t shake the thought that it sounds almost human. Perhaps I am closer to death than I thought.

The raven focuses one beady eye on me and launches itself in my direction. My eyes widen instinctively and I feel my muscles clench as I throw my arms in front of my head to protect myself. The raven screams again, puncturing the air a second time. The sound is too close. It rattles me to my core. 

The air is a cacophony of noise as the raven closes the distance between us. Its wings beat furiously against the air, and it pushes cool gusts of air towards me. Finally, it lands on the ground a few feet in front of me. Its head is tilted to one side and it’s watching me again.

I find myself leaning forward. I’m surprised to realize that its eyes are a deep, shadowy green. I push myself up onto my feet to look closer at the dark bird. Its feathers reflect the colors of the forest around it in the Moonlight. Green, and black, and brown colors shift on the surface of its feathery body. 

I do my best to stand up slowly. This bird is the closest thing I have to company and I don’t want to risk scaring it away. To my surprise, the raven doesn’t fly away. 

“You’re lucky.” I sigh and stretch the tension out of my arms and legs. I flex my fingers experimentally. I wish I had thought to grab gloves when I left the house earlier. 

“You get to fly wherever you want. Just like your friends did.” I look at the raven again, and even though I feel a bit silly for complaining to a bird I keep talking. 

I shift my weight into a crouch, being careful to keep my knees off the ground this time. The consequences of the cold feel more dangerous to me now that I realize just how vulnerable I am. I rest my elbows on my knees and lift my head to rest my chin in my hands. “I guess it doesn’t matter anyways.”

I am not a bird, and I cannot fly, and maybe I’m just a little bit delirious right now. What does it matter if a bird finds me a fool? A bird will not judge me by human standards, and even if it did- I will probably be dead soon anyway. 

And if this isn’t a bird? If it’s some figment of my imagination- what then? That would explain its odd coloring, and its strange demeanor. 

Perhaps I’m the one that’s truly strange- applying human emotions to a bird, but I swear it looks curious. The bird tilts its head in the other direction and I swear that it is about to speak before it launches itself into the air. Perhaps the cold is affecting me more than I thought because I push myself off the ground in a flurry of flying limbs and tangled fabric in order to follow behind the raven. 

The bird flies at a slow enough pace that I can follow, even with my half frozen limbs. Its wings blend into the night air almost perfectly, and I have to squint to differentiate the raven from the trees around it. The muffled crunch of the snow underneath me is the only sound as we move onward. 

The trees gradually thin until they disappear altogether. In their place, a castle looms. 

The raven disappears into the night sky. The only hint that it was ever there in the first place is a muted flash of green light.

. . . . . . . .

Interested to read more? I recently posted the second chapter over on AO3. The Beast of Asgard - Loki Laufeyson x Reader Insert

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

aha,,, I had this really in-depth thing I wrote about how much I like your art,,, and the first half, maybe even first 2/3 got deleted,,, I was so excited writing it, I have no idea what it all even contained anymore,,,

So... the first paragraph after this here is rewritten from what I could remember writing the first time. I know it's not as in-depth as it originally was. Hopefully it still gets the depth of what I want to say across... The second paragraph is what DIDN'T get deleted. Aaaa

I only just recently found you and started following you, but I have to say, your art and comics and writing for the ASL brothers is just. So unbelievably good. You're up there in my favorites. Top three. Top two even. The way you write them is like watching a group of close friends interacting in real life, down to the silliness and shenanigans and inside jokes and abrupt changes in topic or mood in a conversation, including superficial changes (one that comes to mind is when Ace goes something like "I'll bet ONE MILLION DOLLARS" or some incredibly large number, really intensely suddenly, in response to Luffy's saying he'd be $20 or something, and then there's a beat, and then Luffy is like "$20 is fine :)" and Ace is just like "Alright :)". That kind of thing is something Ive had happen, something I've seen happen to others... but I've never seen it written/drawn so well.) Everything about their interactions is so incredibly natural, so full of life. Every time I read one of your comics I'm in constantly in awe and taking mental notes. Well. Okay, no, that's a lie. I WISH I were taking mental notes, but I get so caught up reading because it flows SO smoothly that I forget to.

And that's another thing!! How the way you do paneling and story beats in your comics makes reading while also visualizing movement and transitions so seamless. It's like, the visual-narrative equivalent of a hot knife through butter. I've read plenty of comics-- from novice to professional-- that have really clunky paneling and/or pacing. And similarly, I've read as many that let you read everything easily, but it's like, TOO easy, and there's no weight drawing your eyes to the actual art or keeping them there. And I've seen comics that are somewhere between these two, but still don't feel like they have a good flow. (All this as passive observation, I'm not one to actively look to critique something.) Anyway, what I'm saying is, the way you set up your comics-- the art, the paneling, the pacing, the speech bubbles, the shots, EVERYTHING-- makes them just. MM!! An absolute frickin delight to read. And it's combined with some of the best, most natural-feeling writing I've ever had the pleasure of reading. You balance everything so well. In this age of being desensitized to humor online, I must say, the silliness in parts of the Water Is Thicker Than Blood comic make me genuinely grin and even laugh to myself alone in my room. It feels so real, so genuine, so... I'm running out of words. I'm sorry. I just... REALLY love how you make stuff. I want you to know that I'm a big fan, and, even though I'm older than you I'm learning a lot, and your stuff is so well-done. I hope this isn't too strange, aha... if it is, I apologize. I got a little intense

Oh woweewowee!!!!!!

Thank you for enjoying how i depict them! I really enjoy drawing them as realistic as i can. I really want people to understand them how i do in my head, and im glad it comes off perfectly because i love these little gremlins! And it really is surprisingly easy to think up situations of them being little dumbasses together :) just put them in situations, think about the ways any normal person could possibly react to the information thats given, scrap all that, use the outlier, and bam! That’s a bonafide ASL dynamic right there!

Thats really nice of you to say how you like how i panel my comics because thats one of the things im a bit self conscious of, truthfully. My formatting isnt as neat or polished as other comics are, and i really dont care to change that, but its nice to know that there is still charm and interest in my style of comics.

I get what you mean with the being desensitized to humor online nowadays. Idk what about it but its kinda hard to get me to full on laugh at memes like i used to. But i really enjoy putting in gags that i think and I chuckle to myself about for a while after i thought of it. The “that doesnt taste anything like ass” gag got me chuckling for so long to myself while i was at work. Just like,,, the shock and awe that Sabo is in from having witnessed that is so funny to me, i dont think that gag will ever get old in my head.

That’s really cool that me just goofing around can be a learning opportunity to people :0 ive never even considered that could be the case

Not at all! Thanks so much for your thoughts and opinions! This is very heartwarming and im very happy i could produce something thats so meaningful to others :)

Thanks for the ask, too :D

[alvfr]

can i ask how long have you been writing? it blows my mind how good it is. you are very gifted and we’re all so lucky to get to read your works for free and i really hope you publish something big one day

also do you have any tips for new writers? i’ve been writing intermittently for some time but i still find it so hard not to compare myself and get bummed out or discouraged when there’s writing like yours out there 💔

Ps: I’m loving all the snippets of everything you’ve posted. keep up!

Oh, probably forever? I mean, I was making up stories before I could write and made small books by hand before I could type and I remember using my grandfather's clunky old laptop to painstakingly write my first "real" stories after I started school.

I started writing in English when I was probably 12-13 years old though and I'm 30 now so it's been a while. I posted some stuff on Quizilla back in the day (which oddly wasn't fanfic, but original stories), and I posted my first story on FFN when I was around 20 years old I think?

I go through periods of time where I write a lot and then I don't write at all for a while, mostly because real life gets in the way or something drains my creative energy. Like I couldn't write more than one sentence at a time the first year after I had my baby. Not because I didn't have time, but because the baby took all my focus and I did not have anything leftover to be creative.

Anyway, I think my best tip for new writers is just to write a lot. Like allow yourself to practice, to be bad, to experiment, to learn - just like you would any other hobby, you know? I have posted more than 1 million words on AO3, but I probably have more than twice that much that I'm never going to post that's just collecting dust in my dropbox. And that's fine! It's just practice!

Right now, I'm trying to re-learn how to write in my own language again (Norwegian) because it sounds awkward and weird to my ears and that is probably because I haven't written in Norwegian since I left high school - I need to practice.

Also, be careful comparing your first draft with someone else's finished product. I don't spend too much time editing my fanfics (because it takes the fun out of it and I never make progress), but even I re-read my writing a few times and change phrasings here and there to make it flow better. I personally like to read everything out loud (making funny voices during dialogue) to catch if it flows how I want it to flow.

Another tip is to read a lot. Preferably published books, but fanfiction too. I'm a bit weird here because I can't read fanfiction for the fandom I'm writing for and that is just because I know I will start to compare myself to others and be discouraged, just like you mentioned. Both when it comes to writing style and level of engagement. I mean, some fics have 1000s of notes or kudos/comments and I start wondering how bad my writing is because it doesn't get the same response. At one point, I almost wished someone would post a bad review of my story because it would have felt better than the complete radio silence I received. Truth is, I think engagement is mostly related to coincidence. Summaries, tags and format matters, of course, but after that it's just down to luck. If you're lucky, your story will find its readers and if you're especially lucky, those readers will let you know that they liked it :)

I'm wary of reading nothing but fanfiction though because we fanfic writers tend to get influenced by each other and use a lot of the same expressions, I think. There's a reason I never have characters smirk, chuckle or hum anymore because I'm still traumatized by how much I used that when I started writing. It's bad enough with how much eyebrow quirking and raising I manage to add in a single story. Also when it comes to characterizations, I try to stay true to the source material, but it's easy to mistake fanon for canon when you read too much of the same stuff.

Sorry, this got super long. I'm just sorry to hear that you're discouraged, especially because I am the exact same way when it comes to comparing myself to others. We are our own worst critics, but I highly encourage you to keep writing! I cringe when I look back at my first stories, but I would never have improved if I hadn't written those stories in the first place :)

[spacehostilityy]

NNT Rewatch s2ep1-6

(This was written weeks ago but was in my queue. I am moving back to my college town Saturday so busy days are to come but now I have things to procrastinate 😈)

So YAYAYAY time for season 2 (my fave season overall) !! I’ve rewatched this one before, so i actually remember some of this lol

Ban: I quit

Meliodas: your face is the only joke we can handle

HE GOT HIS ASS DAMN

i love both of diane’s orange fits, but s1 leotard hits different

i have thots abt the introduction of power levels that will be told beneath the cut

i mean it’s all very dragon ball (which i love, but in a very different way). I feel like they are just better executed in manga format, because saying the numbers out loud just kinda breaks up the flow of dialogue and action. Plus the numbers never stay accurate since the characters are always powering up and nakaba lowkey just stops using them at one point. so like assault mode!Meliodas has a power of 142,000. BUT he defeats enemies with powers higher than that and is shown to gain even more power. But this is the highest number we have for him. Overall, theyre clunky, not updated enough to be accurate, and just kinda cheesy :/ I feel like plot could have been added to justify and explain the eye of Balor (AKA Drole if i remember correctly) but it’s just used as an excuse to quantify the characters’ strength since this season is mainly focused on physical and emotional growth, as seen by the Ishtar Arc (one of my fave arcs hehe)

merlin’s friendship with hawk is actually so cute tho

so Meliodas’s beginner stats (still missing his powers) are magic 400, strength 960, spirit 2010. The way I see it, his insane spirit strength could mean one of two things: bitch is just hella determined in his quest to end their curses and protect his friends (likely) or merlin taking away his power only affects his strength and magic since spirit has to do with your mind (also likely) anyway what do y’all think?

how the fuck is gowther’s strength 500??? The average person who can lift 50-100 lbs has a strength of 30. HOW IN THE FUCK?? IS GOWTHER SECRETLY SWOLE????

Meliodas being like “no idk who the ten shadows could be haha” when he and merlin literally formed the sins to fight them and HE WAS THE LEADER OF THE 10 COMMANDMENTS is so funny like so tru king lie to their faces

the first thing Zeldris says is “3000 years... please tell me that he’s still alive” which tells me two things: 1) he doesn’t know about Meliodas’s curse, which could explain why estarossa kills him when he’s just going to come back a rival to the throne of the demon king and 2) the listed life expectancy of 1000 years for demons is probably not accurate lol

maybe it’s driven down due to number of battle deaths like the mortality rate of the middle ages lol

we are introduced to a demon who hopes mel is alive, shares a voice actor, AND HAS THE SAME FACE yeah the brother coding is very thick

AJSDBJKBHJEBFNWKFH YESSS THIS IS MY ALL TIME FAVE INTRO SONG AND ANIMATION

ban’s refusal to get jericho’s name right makes me laugh every time

Jericho: is scared and runs to Ban

Ban: 🤨 yeah. i don’t remember asking you to grab my arm🙄

im sorry but king rlly was a bad fairy king like mans didnt even know the forest was there 😭 its ok tho i love that for him

King hating Ban at first bc he “killed elaine and destroyed the fairy kings forest” only for Ban to pull THE BIGGEST uno reverse on him will never not be funny

wait does that mean ban is technically the 4th fairy king and king is both the 3rd and the 5th bc that would be rlly funny and does happen quite a bit historically

I love how as much as a smug asshole Ban is, he’s not rubbing it in King’s face and is showing him he’s still his friend

so if Gil is Margaret’s guard and Griamore is Veronica’s, does that mean Howzer was Elizabeth’s ?? bc that would be so fucking funny

Helbram got King’s ass with “and you’re short”

KASBDFNJBSDKF HE LOOKS SO GOOFY😭

MY BABYGIRLS ARE HEREEEE

Best girls Melascula and Derieri fr

i love that they said slader is gay, how can we let the audience know and then gave him the smoothest, gayest voice imaginable

merlin calling og gowther a great magician when we know he was the one to train her is actually so sad, i want to give baby merlin a hug

slader is hot, thanks for coming to the ted talk

how the fuck does he walk like this tho??

is there a reason i just don’t remember why they never really bring up albions again or do they just ~disappear~ conveniently from the story lol

So the whole concept of sacred treasures is really cool to me because they are clearly something unique to the Sins, despite all of the sacred treasures being very different and made of different materials. I mean Gowther’s is straight up made of light Still, them having weapons that serve as a constant and grow with them as they become more powerful is just a neat concept to me. I just wish we could have seen Ban use Courechouse more than just a few episodes. There really isn’t a plot reason he couldn’t have had it beforehand.

Gerheade being a bitch to Ban bc he’s a human makes literally no sense when we learn her backstory with Rou. Like NO sense at all lol

I honestly love that Meliodas destroyed the albion on his own. Like yes, he is my OP blorbo BUT he’s also supposed to be incredibly powerful in canon, which we haven’t seen him go all out with an enemy yet. Not only does he know all about albions (bc he’s a demon), but as leader of the 10 Commandments, he probably was on the controlling side of the golems. Then, as a member of Stigma, he fought against them. Not to mention, this is when he finally gets Lostvayne (the DEMON sword) back. This moment for me is when he gets to show off the perks of him being a powerful and high ranking demon. Might fuck around and do a full post later on Meliodas’s relationship to his own race and what/who he is lol

Ban screaming “you bitch!!” is... a wonderful experience

Yass king (hehehehe get it? bc his name is king? hehehe)

Galand petting Gloxinia is actually so cute lol

Merlin covering Arthur’s eyes 😭😭 she’s his mom fr

“its been a while meliodas” oop galand just let the Meliodas is 3000 years old cat out of the bag ehehe

(stay with me bc im about to get delusional) WAIT so galand says “to think that after all this time has passed youd still be in that form” in this essay i will prove that Meliodas looks like a young teenager because he essentially is biologically young for the demon race. Galand doesn’t know Mel was cursed, so he would think that he had aged in the past 3000 years. Plus, I think the demon king’s possession of Meliodas AND Zeldris can be (somewhat) compared to Sariel’s aging up of Solaseed. Anyway, i feel like this can support my hypothesis of Zeldris and Meliodas are just babies who will eventually look like adults. Also, I think them being super young just enhances the angst quite well.

everyone is fucking terrified of galand but hes just a silly foolish little fellow to me lol

ban and king being brothers-in-law makes my heart happy like theyre so cute

Ban threatening Gerheade and actually being pissed and serious has suddenly reminded me that if i saw a grown ass man who couldn’t die and was a 7 foot tall violent alcoholic i would be fucking terrified

like a demon 14 year old? creepy ig but not a 7 foot tall masochist with an 8 pack

I love how hard Diane always goes for the ones she loves, she’s just so devoted and passionate Best Girl tm behavior

*Merlin being incredibly confidant and nonchalant starting a proposition*

Meanwhile Merlin’s thoughts: SHIT SHIT I HAVE 10 SECONDS TO THINK BEFORE EVERYONE I LIKE DIES

Meliodas doing the same thing Hendy did by reattaching his fucking arms using Darkness and the sins still being like wait?? is Meliodas?? a... demon ??? 🤨

okay so we DO see him in this mode again. But what is it called? and why does he become no thots head empty? its not like he died. and even in assault mode, he has thoughts and emotions (when they’re not stuck in purgatory) 

Im ngl, i forgot everything about this episode entirely lol

obvi i hate that derieri died, but at least the souls she fucking ate got returned lol

do we think arthur has a tiny teenage gay crush on meliodas? Discuss.

(the answer is yes ehehe)

gowther walking around with his dang a lang swangin hehe

Gil crying in annoyance and defeat as griamore and howzer bicker is literally so hashtag real

HENDYYY MY BABYGIRL IS BACK BAYBAYYYY

very suddenly realized that Hendy’s probably only like in his 30s. Mans is just not that old

exactly 3 seconds after I had that though Howzer calls him old man LOLLL

i forgot about hendy’s childhood trauma. damn. thats actually rlly sad :/

look how cute he is tho 😭😭

hendy and dreyfus are in love. thanks for coming to another one of my ted talks

so do we think dreyfus is half druid (and zaratras is full) or zaratras is half druid? i mean they’re half brothers but only one is a called a druid sooo

IM SORRY BUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SCREENSHOT ASDFFHSLDH elizabeth scandalized, meliodas accepting his fate, slader leaning in closer and blushing ITS JUST SO GOOD

The ass shot of Diane 🤨😑

Damn Idk how i never realized that all of them pretty much only call Meliodas captain. Merlin, Ban, and Elizabeth are the only ones who will call him Meliodas, but even merlin and ban typically go with captain.

“im a giant, why arent you afraid of me?” hes a fucking demon. lol

[thatgayguywholikesyourcontent]

Retcon-Fix AU

I'm never going to get around to write it, so I'd share the notes I have here and open the floor to questions.

This started off as an idea for a one shot. Taking the opening scene of Omniverse and tweaking it to fit an au. Zombozo is on the run after breaking into a...lab(?) with Ben and Gwen hot on his heels. There's nothing different about Ben on a surface level. On the other hand, Gwen is wearing an outfit similar to her future counterpart from the original series. After dealing with Zombozo there's this awkward goodbye between the two. Gwen's heading off world for the next leg of her anodite training and it will be years until they see each other again. She hates leaving him, Ben is clearly upset, but the only thing keeping her on Earth is guilt, bad memories, and bad blood between them. They hug it out, Ben sees her off, and later runs into Rook.

From there the idea blossomed into a multi chapter series cutting back and forth between the present and the past, showing whats different in this timeline. But that changed into just starting at the beginning in the original series to show the differences in the time line. 'Cause the premise of this au became: cherry pick and take all those little retcons, hammer them out to work from the beginning, and go from there.

The Big three are thus: Figure out whats ever happening in Max's backstory and streamline it. The Plumbers in the OS, to me, felt like it started on Earth with humanity encountering aliens before the organization reached out into space. That was later changed to be that the Plumbers were a galactic police force who, kind of, absorbed a human group of the same name. We later learn that's because of George Washington's own encounter with aliens and him forming an organization to combat such a threat, like the American equivalent of the Forever Knights.

That's weird, a little too clunky. So the streamlined version for this AU was to make it more like X-Com. That the increase of alien activity and sighting in the 50's led to the formation of an secret, international paramilitary group that would rapidly deploy to such threats and deal with them. Either through combat or simple negotiation. Eventually the accumulated alien tech would advance their gear and what not. Max running into Verona is what introduced him to the organization. This is like in the 60s.

Its around the late 70's/early 80s that the Plumbers as a galactic police force starts to form. A bunch of alien cultures form a coalition/federation to deal with the expanding Incursion threat and the Plumbers are a byproduct of that. Rules and laws are hammered out and the Plumbers finally notice criminals would head to the outer rim to escape the authorities and decide to investigate. They come across Earth, come into contact with X-Com (just gonna call it that), when an invasive species starts spreading across the galaxy. X-Com has a shit ton of members and the Plumbers cut them a deal. Help them deal with the Lenopan threat and the galactic community would consider Earth off limits.

The world governments that fund X-Com are on the fence until they see the tech level of the rest of the galaxy. Giving Earth another century to catch up is to good of an opportunity to pass. X-Com gets involved in the Lenopan Wars, turn the tide, and peace is brokered. Some soldiers decide to stay out in space and become Plumbers while those who stay behind are forced into retirement as X-Com is quickly mothballed. Probably a larger scheme by the Forever Knights to remove their competition. Like Hydra infiltrating Shield to get it taken down.

Jesus Christ. Sorry about the world building tangent.

The second change being Kevin. Its later revealed in the series that he is a genetic experiment by the Rooters to make hybrid soldiers. Honestly, don't like it. In this AU human-alien hybrids can exist. Its the Forever Knights that the runaway and take him in. He doesn't run into Ben and Gwen by chance. Instead he's purposely following them, keeping tabs on them for the Forever Knights from the shadows until they give him the order to engage. Him absorbing some energy from the Omnitrix is a plot point. He goes rogue with Ben and Gwen reeling him back, but ultimately failing. Kevin winds up stuck in the Null Void until we see him again in Alien Force. Gives him time to return to normal, meet Argit, and break away from the Forever Knights.

The thirds change is Gwen. This is honestly the crux of the AU when I was first jotting the notes down. Its retconned in Alien Force that her capacity for magic stems from her Anodite heritage. In this fic, her spark catches early and she has access to mana at the start of the original series.

She has a hard time controlling her powers. Most Anodite hybrids do. Every emotional outburst is dangerous, and her parents haven't exactly handled the whole thing well. Not physically abusive, but their own fear of the daughter and distancing her from anything or anyone she might hurt has effected the development of her social skills. Like, her brother gets to join all these clubs, hang out with friends, and attend school where she is home schooled and not allowed out. Just to note, her and Ken have a close relationship. He would've gone on the Summer road trip, but his parents signed him up for camp. The only reason why their letting Gwen go with Max in the first place is for him to train her. They handled everything so far by ignoring it, which doesn't help Gwen. She's ten by the time they wise up and ask Max for help, Previously, when she got her powers and everything came to light, they kicked him out of their lives.

What about Ben? The omnitrix and plot surrounding it is largely the same. Vilgax wants to conquer the galaxy and tracks down a weapon to do it. Gives chase, but the watch is dropped off on Earth and he's injured. He's purposefully blocking any outgoing signal from Earth about his presence or the increase alien activity, but its only a matter of time before the plumbers catch wind that something is up and get involved. Earth is on the opposite side of hostile territory so he's working under a time limit.

Ben himself is largely the same but gay. That's more of a self indulgent thing than anything else, tbh. He confessed his feelings to a boy on valentines, the bullies got word of it, and haven't left him alone since. He's starting off the series with a chip on his shoulder. His parents want him to get away from it all, and hopefully a summer road trip away will help.

Ben has mixed feelings about Gwen. The last time he saw her they snuck away with Ken to play out in the woods. Ben convinced her to use her powers and got knocked back hard because of it. He's a little scarred of her, a little jealous, but Ken (who he considers as an older brother) told him to keep an eye out on Gwen.

Ben gets a crush on Kevin when they first meet, but Kevin is straight as hell. He's also an agent working for the Forever Knights and uses Ben's crush on him to get close to the omnitrix. They actually do form a loose friendship, but at that point Vilgax is attacking in person, Gwen can't handle him alone, and the watch has timed out. So he touches the omnitrix and mutates to deal with Vilgax and gets stuck in the null void for his troubles.

"But what happens to Kevin?" you ask. If the original one-shot with Ben and Gwen is canon, where is he by the time Omniverse begins? Six feet under. He pulled the same trick in Ultimate Alien to deal with Aggregor and got the same result from the prime timeline: he becomes hostile to Ben and Gwen, hunting them down to feed the energy addiction.

"I can't believe Ben kills him." That's the neat part, he doesn't. Its Gwen that puts him down. This isn't the second time Kevin has absorbed energy. He's done it before, slipping further and further from his ideals and becoming like the one person he hates: Michael Morningstar. Gwen tries to get his help to siphon energy off of Kevin, but Kevin kills him when he ultimately turns on Gwen. It just makes the hunger worse.

Gwen is gunning for him. And yes, they were/are a couple by this point in the series. Its Ben whose trying to stop her, trying to re-unlock Feedback in a desperate attempt to save Kevin, but he fails and Gwen kills him to save Ben's life.

Thank you for coming to my Tedx talk.