#sorry for not posting much its mostly that

[kalinara]

So this post, by @rei-ismyname, got me thinking of how I see Logan with regard to the Logan/Scott relationship specifically. This was intended to be a reply, but it got away from me, so I thought I'd turn it into its own post.

This is going to get long and very incoherent. And possibly not all that flattering to Logan in parts. Sorry.

I don't know if I see Logan as quite so Freudian myself, though I think it's a fascinating analysis.

I think for me, there's an element of the Scott-Logan and Jean-Logan dynamics that start off interestingly separate. Maybe it's because, initially, Jean never really seemed to return Logan's feelings. But there wasn't as much of a sense of "triangle" back in the early Claremont issues for me.

Logan was attracted to Jean, went after her, was rebuffed, and kept going. He had moments with Scott, like when he was judging Scott for not grieving her enough in the Savage Lands, when she and Hank were presumed dead. But generally that seemed to be a separate thing.

Whereas with Scott, we had the sort of maverick vs. leader dynamic. Scott is younger, more uptight, less experienced (in a military capacity, anyway), less traditionally macho, and Logan clashed with the idea of taking his orders. But pretty quickly, they did fit into a sort of bickering respect - Logan threatening Hawkeye when the latter insulted Cyclops, going to Scott during the whole demerit thing in general.

They do fall pretty quick into that "I'll follow you to hell, bitching all the way" sort of dynamic. And most of that seems to develop without Jean present (she wasn't, after all, officially part of the team at first, then she was presumed dead, then she was actually dead.)

In the 90s, things get a bit murkier, because the love triangle heats up and becomes a little more reciprocal on Jean's part. But Jean and Scott had gone through all of their real emotional turmoil in X-Factor, when Logan wasn't around, so by the 90s, they were pretty solid. Then you get things mashed together a bit.

And also during the time apart, Logan's had his own shift from stab-happy wild man to that more noble drifter cowboy meets Kurosawa type. So we get a shifted dynamic, where Logan's attraction to Jean becomes a lot more overtly romantic, in a certain courtly way. We get a lot more emphasis on the "she makes me want to be a better person" element of their dynamic here too.

Meanwhile, the 90s also give us Scott at what's probably his most emotionally and morally stable place. He's past his trainwreck stage (and Logan didn't get to see most of that), and has settled into a confident upright leader.

So we essentially end up with a kind of Lancelot, Guinevere, Arthur thing. (Honestly, I've always thought Jean made the better King Arthur, but we're talking Logan's perspective. And honestly, I've always thought that Logan has a bit of an issue with toxic masculinity and overly-rigid gender roles.)

So while there's still the sparky bickering between Logan and Scott, for the most part, it's comfortable. Any attraction Logan feels gets sublimated into respect (kind of like his dynamic with Captain America. I tend to assume most people are at least a little in love with Steve Rogers, and Logan's no exception.).

But it all sort of melds together into Logan being romantically in love with Jean, sublimated attraction-into-respect for Scott, and then ultimately idolizing their relationship on a whole. Which has the awkward effect of putting Scott on a pedestal, because he's the man Jean chose over Logan. So of course, he must be a paragon of virtue.

(The fact that Scott's trainwreck tendencies are still there pops up occasionally, but generally goes unnoticed.)

But then we get Apocalypse - and a Scott stripped bare of his illusions. But still possessed of his moral code. Mostly. He's wounded, but still pretty forthright. Then we have the situation with Emma. And Jean's death. And that's when things get a lot...sparkier. The bickering starts getting a bit more heated again.

Honestly, they're probably the slashiest they've ever been during that period between Jean's death and the Schism. And Logan seems to have a weird sense of judgmental entitlement over Scott during this time. He still respects him though, but things are starting to fray with Utopia and X-Force, and everything crashes down in the Schism, when the last of Logan's illusions about Scott shatter.

I've said before, I think that their whole dynamic would have been a lot healthier if Logan had realized that Scott, beneath the facade, is a lot more like Laura Kinney than he'd ever been like Steve Rogers.

But he didn't figure that out and now he's heartbroken, angry, and can't sublimate the fact that he kind of wants to fuck him into that whole Captain America/Paragon of Virtue veneration anymore. Nope, dude, that stirring in your loins doesn't come from the fact that you're in the presence of one of the Truly Good Men. You just want to fuck that trainwreck.

And honestly, I think Hank has a bit of the same thing. But Hank/Scott is a whole separate essay topic. I think Hank and Logan kind of fed off each other at this time. So we get things like the Cyclops-dartboard. When we both know that's not the penetration they really want to do.

What? I was talking about claws? What did you think I was talking about?

(Okay, that too.)

I think the post Schism/pre AvX dynamic is fascinating adolescent on the part of Logan (and Hank). I can't help but maybe conflate this a bit with the fact that Logan only relatively recently regained the full memories of his life, while Hank has that whole arrested development child soldier thing that most of the O5 have deep down. And they both start acting a bit like the bitter dorks in high school, watching the Homecoming King and Queen.

Which is a little bizarre considering that Scott and Emma are holding Utopia together by the skin of their teeth and intentionally trying to present it as a lightning rod for anti-mutant sentiment in order to keep the school safe. But things aren't necessarily rational there.

But then we have AvX. And everything goes from hilariously adolescent to absolutely tragic.

Because no one makes it out of that mess okay or whole. And Logan, in particular, has to go full on aggressor, because if he stops and thinks about it, he might well realize that if any one person could be the cause of this mess: it could be him. HE's the one who went to the Avengers, after all. Scott's plan with the Phoenix was batshit, but it might have been resolved differently if the Avengers hadn't gone in there all OOC heavy handed, guns blazing.

Scott, meanwhile, has lost some of his Utopia edge, and found a new easily romanticized role as suffering martyr. We start to see events that might lead to a resolution: Kitty and the O5 switching sides, a lot of realizations from a lot of people that Scott isn't the villain he's playing on television, and so on. (There's also the O5 putting a human face on the man that Logan's convinced himself he hates. And a version of Jean that's completely horrified and disgusted by him...)

And then Logan dies, and his role's taken by a dude from a side comic with no connection to any of these characters of events. And no, I'm not bitter about Old Man Logan at all.

(Sure, he was fun in his OWN comic. But there's shit going on here and he's not a part of it!!!)

Then there's the fucked up weirdness of Scott's death, his unspoken terrible acts (that eventually amounted to destroying a cloud), and so on.

Once both characters have resurrected, we get an interesting return, almost, to that post Jean's death dynamic. They're again in a foxhole, desperate. Scott's relying pretty heavily on Logan at this time, even as they rebuild the dregs of the team for their last stand.

Then Rahne leaves, dies. Logan skips the funeral to go after her murderers. And then when he returns, covered in her murderers' blood, he and an angry Scott have it out and he storms off, with the unfair accusations all over again. (This time, it's more apparently that Wolverine's lashing out because of his own wounds, but it's not very pleasant to experience.) He does make up for it a bit by coming back for their last stand. Which is, maybe, a bit romantic in its own right.

And then...Jean and the original team reappear and Jean immediately shoves her tongue down Scott's throat while Logan and Emma both look a little bitter.

And then we have Krakoa, and I know I've bitched about not seeing the foundation of the Throuple. But in a weird way, it does kind of work for me. The euphoria of their new sanctuary, the realization that death is no longer a thing, the return of lost loved ones (like Alex, who'd died recently in Rosenberg's run), and so on - it made a place, and a moment, where the sublimation can just be the truth.

Scott and Jean are Scott and Jean. They have their family again. Logan is welcomed into the family as occasional partner. Nate's "Uncle Logan". He gets to come on family vacations.

Logan still gets to be Logan, though, and do his own thing. As much of a romantic as he is, I'm not sure I buy him ever actually settling down to domesticity. But this works out fairly well.

There are still some hints of tension though. I like bringing up the "Scott in a Speedo" scene, not just for the expression of attraction - I've seen it dismissed as a "joke", but I still don't see how that works as a joke either of them would tell - but also for the actual scene.

In it, we see Scott, conflicted over the Crucible and his mixed feelings about the more...religious elements of Krakoan society, looking for something from Logan - maybe reassurance, maybe just commiseration? That the latter isn't willing or able to give him. "Go find a priest." He says.

Everyone's going to have their own interpretation, but my read on it, in the context of their complicated relationship, is that Logan's happy to enjoy the idyllic interlude that Krakoa's given them, but he doesn't want to go deeper. He doesn't want to talk about their underlying issues or be the support that Scott needs at this time. It's an emotional commitment that he's not ready to make.

In his own comic (or possibly X-Force, they blur together for me), Logan expresses dislike regarding Krakoa, feeling like it's fostering a false sense of safety and security.

I feel like that might be why Logan is the way he is in this scene. They haven't resolved their issues, and where Scott's overture might indicate that he'd like to, Logan isn't open to that now.

And I think that's the Watsonian reason that we don't see very much with these two beyond a couple of Pride issue panels of the trio having a good time together.

I don't think the Throuple really lasts that much beyond this either. We have that funny bit where Teen Nate has called in a favor to have Logan comfort his parents after his departure. We have a few Jean/Logan moments in X-Force, but they're pretty shallow, all things considered. Some light making out. A single scene of sex in a hot tub.

Beyond that, we have that bit where she's trying to help him telepathically in X Lives of Wolverine, but she'd have done that for him even if they weren't banging.

And then, nothing. Scott and Jean are doing fine in the X-Men (eventual Brood argument notwithstanding), Logan is doing fine in his own book. But the Throuple seems...done.

Oh, maybe that bit in AXE where Jean is having issues for failing her test and Logan's all "anyone who'd fail you and pass me..." bit of reassurance. But again, that's the sort of thing he'd have said even if they weren't fucking. (I also wish he were able to comfort her without making it all about HIS issues, but that's a separate essay!)

There are a few parts that annoyed the shit out of me though. In both X Lives of Wolverine and later toward the end of his own comic, Logan lists Xavier and Jean as members of his found family. Saying shit like how their broken edges come together to make a more profound whole.

Scott, who is Xavier's son, Jean's husband, and the man whose house Logan STILL LIVES IN, doesn't get a mention.

(Doylistically, I theorize that maybe Marvel wanted to downplay the Throuple implications already. But I don't know.)

Nor does Storm, Kurt, Kitty, Jubilee, or a lot of other people who'd fit into that category too, including his actual children, mind you. But this isn't an essay about them.

And then there's Fall of X/Fall of the House of X. We do know at one point, Logan was involved in a rescue mission for Scott which fell through because Xavier called Rasputin away to go help him kill a thirteen year old.

Then there's nothing but a mostly civil exchange in X-Men #1, where Logan decides to go off on his own to run with wolves after he's rescued, and then that snide comment in Uncanny.

Scott's not really mentioned Logan either, except maybe that bitter little "everyone likes HIM" as a response to Magneto's amazing accusation of "logan behavior".

So...I don't really know how I see their relationship dynamic now. I was hoping for some interaction in Raid on Graymalkin, but the closest we got was Logan saying to attack if Scott touched his temple.

(Doylistically, that may be all we get. If Marvel thinks interaction might fuel the Throuple implications, we may not get anything else for a long time, which sucks.)

Watsonianly, I think maybe it's as simple as the idyllic Krakoan interlude being over. Jean's in space and unable to smooth things over. (Also, I'm not actually sure how I think Logan will take the whole Phoenix side of Jean's personality. They'd been considered two separate entities by the time the triangle really started up...). And whatever attraction that Scott and Logan have for each other is back to being sublimated in unnecessary antagonism and bitterness.

It's a shame, really.

(I do think if the Throuple does end up rekindling, Logan shouldn't get to join back up until he actually apologizes though. Hmph.)

[beuhakkaka]

Oh goodness! I've been jumpscared, hello and thank u for tagging me!! Ahhh ok so

Last song: I have a few! I've had Iris by the goo goo dolls stuck in my head, and faith by Lacey strum on repeat. Though tbh I've been listening to all her albums on repeat. I love lacey strum guys 😭 so talented

Fav color🎨: A really deep and rich vibrant red!

Last book📚: its been a while since I've sat down and read a proper book. I think the most recent one was hamlet? And it was for school lmao. I mostly just read stuff on AO3. Some masterpieces on there fr

Last movie 🎥: I just finished guardians of the galaxy volume 3, and I was floored by it. I think James Gunn is one of my favorite directors, and that movie felt like a love letter not just to the characters but to the people watching it. Phenomenal film, 10/10, cried so much.

Last Tv show 📺: Sakamoto days and Vineland saga are my most recently watched shows!! I've only seen the first two episodes of Sakamoto days and really liked it! Vineland saga on the other hand has CHANGED MY LIFE GUY'S PLS WATCH IT IF YOU HAVE NETFLIX ITS SOOOO GOOD SOBBING AND SCREAMING AT EVERY EPISODE

🌀current obsession🌀

Vineland Saga and my own story REborn. Literally every night as I'm going to sleep, I'm thinking about how I want to arrange plots and draw out scenes like a total nerd.

Last thing searched🔎

Random Bible chapter and the address for my college building LMAO

Looking forward to 👀:

Getting into the real meaty parts of REborn!! Rn everything I've been posting has basically just been build up, like the stories BARELY started, and I'm really excited to get into the actual meaty bits of REborns characters and world 😆

People I'd like to get to know better: ahh!! Idk really who to tag so I'll just tag people at random! Sorry in advance if you don't like being tagged 😭

@artsbyellie @ndrogyny @pinksparkle224

// 10 People I'd like to know better //

I got tagged by @kbthebearcat and @captain-clandestiny THANK YOU GUYS

🎧Last song🎧: I am not sure to be honest 😭 i was listening a mixed playlist on shuffle but i last remember listening to return to forever and when i fall in love

🎨Favorite color🎨: THE ONE AS MY BLOG BACKGROUND i am obsessed 💔 AND A WARMER TONE OF MUSTARD YELLOW tbh all the natural colors really 🤭

📚last book📚: I am not much of a reader, but i read "Ağrı Dağı Efsanesi" as homework. (Browsed the recap but sshhh)

🍿Last movie🍿: Ugh i am so embarrassed but Sonic 3. MY FRIENDS FORCED ME OKAY?!. Like you can't expect someone who likes "The Game", "Silence of the lambs", "there will be blood", "Jane Eyre" etc to like such a movie- i am REALLY picky about what i watch. But yeah it was Sonic 3 I'm sorry 💀

📺 Last tv show 📺: It was "Baby Raindeer" i guess... It was alright.

🍔 sweet/spicy/savory 🍔: Savory 😌

🌀Current obsession🌀: ASSASSIN'S CREED ASSASSIN'S CREED ASSASSIN'S CREED ASSASSIN'S CREED ASSASSIN'S CREED

Finished the ezio trilogy and now playing unity and black flag. Torturing myself by replaying missions (in unity) over and over until i perfectly ghost them. People hate that game for some reason but i like it a lot tbh

🔍 Last thing searched 🔍:

I was answering the ask then i called Hargrove "passed away recently". i was sure it was not as "recently" so i searched to find out. 2018 was the date. He was such a nice trumpeter. I found about him after coming up with Roy and now one of his songs i think is roy if he was a song. Here's the song for those wondering !

👀looking forward to👀: nothing specific. But i am curious about the gt of that upcoming fable game. Probably can't afford it and don't have the hardware to run it so I'll watch the gameplays 💀

People I'd like to know better:

@justagiantpotato @pipinpali @pacthesis @ohnobrooo @paxmorgana @guaxinimraccoon @olivexing @territorialrain

[melonkittii]

done to death i know but my replay of v3 has been so funny.

[zoneofsmites]

Still laughing about how they didn't want to "invalidate" anyone's worldstate. But that is exactly what they did.

Morrigan is the most obvious, I really cannot believe that a Morrigan who was a mother would have so willingly taken into her something like Mythal if she was a mother - of at this point - a 10 year old Kieran. Maybe she would, but it would be for different reasons.

Isabela is the most annoying to me. She's talking about how "Kirkwall taught her about family." as if she couldn't have been given up by Hawke to the Arishok. As if she couldn't have ran away from Kirkwall and never looked back. If I had met an Isabela from a world state like that, she would never have said that.

Harding talking about the Inquisition also feels like it misses some... extra flavour here and there based on actual choices. Like my Inquisitor didn't do well with Blackwall, and he didn't survive to see the end of the game. But Lace speaks about him fondly and in such a way that I don't think she should if the Inquisitor never 'redeemed' him.

Zevran is never mentioned by name, but what if a warden outright killed the assassin hunting them. Or he turned on them in Denerim and died later? Then explain to me that entire banter Lucanis has with Harding about why House Arainai messed up so bad they went trough several Talons about it. And now the Crows don't take contracts in Ferelden anymore.

At that point the reason that was given to us for the lack of worldbuild choices to prevent 'invalidating everyone's worldstate' feels null and void. Because you have. You have invalidated many worldstates already by bringing back these character or have people talk around them in such a way that doesn't make sense.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

some terusai hate is so funny to me because people will go "saiki isnt ready to be in a relationship!! he isnt ready!!!" but then they actually just ship him with someone else 😭? so like in actuality you just dont like the ship and you couldnt just say that?

[ganondoodle]

Sorry ab the shitty English translations/localizations, it's bc they think that Americans won't get it otherwise (bc when we act stupid, we act REALLY stupid), our bad 💀

[lazycranberrydoodles]

woe mundane monopoly headcanons be upon ye

follow for more of modern au hua cheng’s outfits

[bluestation]

🖊 september sketch log (#12)

[angelmachines]

teru & socialization

i've posted about this before but something ive been thinking about a LOT is mp100's themes of loneliness (and eventual connections). i think this is an aspect of teru's character (in particular) that gets left out because it's not as explicit but i've been wanting to do a deep dive on it for a while and i finally sat down to do it. just a warning, this post is gonna be LONG.

these two panels are from chapter 16 of the manga (which i'm using for my evidence because i. dont want to scrub through the anime LOL). initial sentiment: teru uses his powers to cheat having friends/a good social life and wouldn't have that if he tried earnestly. this is a fair interpretation of the scene. with what we know, at this point of time (as in within the teru-mob fight) teru would not be able to connect with other people earnestly, due to his mindset. which i think is a fair interpretation, HOWEVER:

(from chapter 17 ^^) the first panel shows teru's expression to be strained and the second is visibly unhappy. this puts the first set of panels into a different context, that maybe underneath all of this, teru doesn't WANT any of this life that he's built. keep in mind that i'm analyzing this with teru's possible autistic tendencies in mind & you dont have to believe he's autistic, im not your dad, but i do find this a pretty meaningful indication of masking if he were

(note: yes, the strain can definitely be read as comp-het, and i would agree but that's not relevant so go read this post on that instead)

even if the rest of these panels show teru content with his life, i think these expressions are pretty vital to how we read his life especially because we know so little of it. think about it, if you were a kid desperate for affection because you couldn't get it anywhere else, especially not in a way that would come off as "mature" or "unaffected", wouldn't you also look for validation in your popularity? even if it aligned you with people who you consider fundamentally different to you? my point here is that teru can't not stand out-- it's in his nature-- and we are shown how he tries to blend in & receive attention in the only way possible to him; which is to say that he molds himself into something that is palatable, likeable, and superior to other people. if he's nothing, like mob, he has spent his entire life covering up for it. if he fails socially, like mob, he has to be good at everything (even if he cheats to do so) so that everyone else can look past it.

(side note for my teru angst enjoyers: this is a panel of his mom. the mom who he hasn't seen in years. doesn't it make sense that, if he hasn't heard his mom say he's proud of him for literal years, that he would overachieve in response? not related to the autism thing i just have the teru bug. also don't be misogynistic in my notes both his parents suck we just get a singular mention of his mom)

so if teru couldn't meaningfully have friends before mob, that could very easily be because of his past mindset, right?

...except, we don't.. really... see him make other friends afterwards.

but, the awakening lab, right?

(ok i lied to you sorry there is one anime screenshot and thats because it stood out to me while i rewatched it earlier this month. sorry.) id like to bring attention to this screenshot during the cultural festival because the awakening lab can definitely be seen as a direct contradiction of this and i'd like to point out a couple things:

1) in this scene the shiratori brothers are in another room 2) them and the other three are friends with ritsu (or at least close enough acquaintances to want to see him).

considering this is one of the only times they appear together for Fun i am more inclined to believe this is an encounter where they went together because they all would've gone separately anyway. this isn't to discount the possible bond that these characters might have, but thats the thing. we... aren't really shown that they're friends and enjoy spending time together outside of this screenshot, where two out of six of the members are not even present. not to mention that teru is still placing himself in a role separate from his peers. despite stripping the superiority away, teru is still the awakening lab's mentor, not friend. teru still views himself as fundamentally different in a context where his psychic powers don't make him that way.

...except with mob. i bring this placement of power up because where he is the awakening lab's mentor, teru declares mob to be his rival, or, in other words, teru is just like him. he is accepting that mob and him are the same. (and if we view mob from an autistic lens... so on and so forth)

as if to hammer in that point even further-- in the summer vacation omake, teru explicitly states that "summer break is just a super long, super boring stretch of alone time." i'm not sure of the timeline here, but guessing from the hair, we're at least post season 1. which gives us explicit confirmation here that teru is spending the break alone despite his relationship to the awakening lab. his connection to mob is a lifeline here because mob is one of the only people who can intuitively understand teru's isolation without judgment

(also, on that point of teru's autistic tendencies: teru does and says a LOT of things that would raise other peoples eyebrows and doesn't seem to notice.

here we get teru actively admitting to his home life, right in front of reigen, WHO COULD CALL CHILD SERVICES ON HIM? this genuinely made me rethink this character entirely. teru's filter is... minimal. he isn't constantly volunteering information and generally minds his own business, but if you ask? Well.

teru is a social person, but to say he is proficient in understanding social situations seems... wrong. teru views his loneliness as boring because, despite being fairly open, does not actually allow himself to think about his own feelings and how they affect him. this loneliness is boring because he doesn't have enough of a reference to realize its not

if we are taking pre-mob teru to be a version of himself who is masking, or at the very least someone who is faking a lot of stuff in a less autistic sense, the fight with mob changes teru to the point where he no longer hides himself. in the same way that mob was able to shake teru's fragile superiority complex i think the change in appearance marks the end of the self teru had built up. from this point on we see him become a lot more... Him. his appearance and his fashion choices are, presumably, completely normal to him and we get no indication that he believes otherwise despite the reactions it gets-- which is... well, i wouldn't be writing this post if i thought it was one of his most neurotypical traits.

in fact, he seems... pretty oblivious to what other people think of him. which is an interesting distinction to make considering the intelligence we Know he possesses (which is not to say that you are unintelligent if you don't pick up on social cues, just that its common for media to depict it that way.) these traits are made pointedly, even if unintentionally, separate, ESPECIALLY when you note the amount of characters who Do ruminate on or stare at teru's appearance.

some examples. i don't even think this is all of it-- case in point.)

[welcometogrouchland]

I love Steph's origin as told in the Secret Origins 80 page giant- I just overall think it strengthens her character by giving her a lot of pathos and adding to her heroism (which isn't something writers were focused on in her actual intro in detective comics #647 since she was just meant to act as a plot device back then) BUT there is one tiny detail in it i will begrudge, and that is the portrayal of her having a minor love at first sight moment for tim

Secret origins 80 page giant, ID in alt

(or well, technically this was their second meeting in that story (the brick was the first) so...love at second sight?)

Mostly because Stephanie showed no interest in her introduction and only showed romantic feelings towards Tim AFTER this moment here:

Robin (1993) #4, ID in alt

Straight up the progression here goes:

The adventure in 'tec where they first meet -> Tim investigating the same crime scene as Steph -> she beats him up not knowing it's him at first, apologizes but says he shouldn't have scared her -> he remembers her/the moniker she goes by -> they talk about plot for a few pages -> Stephanie starts flirting

Robin (1993) #4, ID in alt

Which...is so fascinating to me and says so much about Stephanie. She highlights the fact that Tim "remembered" her. Like. Steph. Girl. This is our bar? It's sweet but kind of speaks to how much Stephanie is ignored at home/how little and sporadically she's shown interacting with her peers (and rarely ever the same kids twice). Her idea of peak romance is just...being on someone's mind even when you're not there.

Kind of also adds layers to Steph's proclivity towards jealousy later on, a manifestation of her insecurity and loneliness (though don't get it twisted, she's not written this way bc Dixon and co think it's an interesting character flaw, they wrote it bc they think it's an inherent character flaw of (particularly young) women/girls, which is very apparent in how he approaches Ariana's character as well from what I've read)

Also the fact that Steph becomes so smitten for Tim almost immediately after this is (a few issues later she aggressively flirts with him during AN ACTIVE HOSTAGE SITUATION. WHERE SHE'S THE HOSTAGE) again is kind of a mixture of kind of funny and sad. One boy is nice to her once and she's fully ready to wife him. Girl you are deranged (affectionate) (concerned)

[mcytegg]

you can love a character and still admit when they're wrong. i love roshambogames but can acknowledge his flaws (he has none) & can hold him accountable for his wrongdoings (he’s never done anything wrong in his life) & call him out for his actions (which are always correct)

[toldentops]

talk about kinoga. NOW.

GAH I JUST THINK THEY ARE SO............. well first of all. they are so cute and handsome. look at them right now

Second of all I have one million feelings about them and it's barely an exaggeration. For those who aren't familiar, Kinoga is one of my beloved splatoon ocs and I think about them all the time. Originally made when I tossed a "what-if" idea about Trito, my first splatoon oc, who was once part of the octarian military, if he runs into one of the old squad members on the surface, and Kinoga was born with the help of @igneouskit. Brainworms ensue. its terminal. check out their toyhouse

(extremely brief rundown for those unfamiliar with splatoon lore the relevant bits are as follows: some octolings are part of a military that were forced underground after a war with the Inklings over land due to rising seas. At some point during the plot, the song Calamari Inkantation is sung by the two idols, which is apparently imbued in the DNA of all creatures and compels octolings to see the surface. In the splatoon 2 DLC, octo expansion, some octolings are recruited by a shady company called Kamabo Co, which entices participants to enroll in tests through a deep sea metro, and offers the "promised land" as a reward. Completing the tests entails collecting parts of a blender, and the "reward" is getting blended into sludge. This sludge can get injected into other octos which causes them to lose their will and consciousness ("sanitization").

timeline-wise much of their story takes place between splat 2, through octo expansion, and is currently in the splat 3 era. When they were still in the military, they ended up hearing the Calamari Inkantation like Agent 8 did. Kinoga and their squad were incredibly close to each other. Unwilling to just up and leave the underground but wanting to give their squadmates a better life, Kinoga hears about Kamabo's "promised land" and wants to seek it out, so they leave the squad to embark on the metros and promises to return. They do not <3 Some of the tests make them encounter sanitized octolings and they begin to question what's really happening in the metros. Their tipping point is when they run into Agara, one of their squadmates that decided to enter the metros to look for Kinoga and ends up being sanitized. Kinoga, facing the crushing realization that their squadmates had followed them, unaware of the danger, narrowly escapes being killed by Agara and eventually makes it to the surface.

This results in them experiencing a good amount of crushing guilt about leaving, they never knew it would lead to the possibility of dooming their whole squad that followed after them because they were loved and trusted. Kinoga had no way of letting the rest of them know that they should turn back and it's so. AAUGH. They have no choice but to continue on, finding life on the surface and eventually making it to splatsville with the belief that the rest of the squad may be gone. Agara and Trito end up running through the metro, Agara gets sanitized and Trito survives, albeit without getting a nasty scar from an accident that nearly got him sanitized.

Trito makes me insane also. he's my funny silly rabbit. I care about him so so much. trito goes through the metros, to maybe catch up with kinoga or meet them at the promised land, trusting that it was worth leaving if Kinoga decided it was worth it for all of them too.

Trito, upon learning about The Horrors in the metro later, realizes what could have happened to Kinoga and Agara and is unwilling to return to the rest of the squad with this knowledge, struck by the possibility that they're both gone. <-also has to realize that these horrible things have been happening to all the octlings that left to go do the metro tests. He too, eventually escapes to the surface and makes it to Inkopolis.

Years later, Trito, on a day trip to Splatsville, encounters Kinoga on the streets, and they lock eyes. and. fuck. They thought they were dead and had dealt with the grief and accepting that they were gone, effectively pushing those thoughts aside, and now they're physically in front of each other and they have to deal with it again. they make me SICK. Kinoga knowing that trito went to the metros and followed them and made it out also. Trito knowing that Kinoga experienced the horrors as well and survived. Neither of them able to return to tell the rest of the squad but they're both here, alive on the surface and aarrghhhhhhh. now they have to cope with this. they hastily exchange contact information, having to leave each other again, and end up meeting later to really catch up.

I'm so normal about kinoga and their relationship to trito post-domes. They don't even realize that they miss each other so much because they accepted that they were already gone. Seeing how much the other had changed. Being each other's only tie to their previous lives and it dawns on them that they never can move on from this. Kinoga struggles to tell Trito that they couldn't bring themselves to go back, not knowing if they could escape a second time, not knowing if any of their teammates were still left, already dealing with occasional spurts of being wracked by grief. Trito feeling the same, wanting to forget the terrible things and find happiness on the surface, but disheartened when learning that Kinoga also couldn't bring themselves to go back to look (though now that the both of them are together.....they do eventually muster the courage to go back to the domes to look for their old squadmates). It like. sucks so bad. They didn't intend to abandon their squad, but they were given circumstances where they just could not, and none of the other squad members could have known and suffer for it. aarghhhhh.

They end up at Trito's place, Kinoga and Trito end up being very affectionate towards each other after reuniting, definitely Trito being clingier...Compelled to hold onto each other and not let go, not after feeling so much regret about leaving in the first place. It's like. they left once before and terrible things happened out of their control, so they're allowed to hold each other as close as they can so it doesn't happen again (THE DEMONS) (GRIPS). it's irrational for Trito especially to think that he'll never see Kinoga again when they have to leave, since they live in separate cities and have to go in the morning. and kinoga knows it's irrational and they do their best to comfort him anyways because. who could blame him for wanting to keep them there after being gone for so long and so unexpectedly. The slow, crushing experience of not fully registering that someone could be gone and it creeps up to them until it hits. auuuuugh. they have to be so tender with each other, not really knowing where to take things afterwards but relishing in the moment of having each other there. riding the high of each other's comfort. fuck. this post is just getting worse as it goes. Trito breaking down in Kinoga's arms because he's had to hold in his grief and having nowhere to put it and then finally being able to release it. just being able to feel Something again. kinoga feeling so heartbroken to see trito like this, remembering that he was always so outspoken and smiling and having him curled up against them unable to say anything. holding him as tightly as they can. Feeling the need to take good care of him. They aren't his squad leader anymore but they still feel compelled to look out for him because then they can feel like they're doing at least something right. whatever. you guys get the gist. I'm way too much of a sucker for like...............pained intimacy. I'm down terrible. I think both of them deserve a little kissy and more. again. very touchy and affectionate with each other, I guess theyre still like "friends" (A WARRIOR'S BOND. OR WHATEVER) and are not "together" like a couple but here are words from igneouskit who put it better then I could ever. they love each other so much and they make me blow up. worlds most situationship

and also one bit I forgot to mention is that Trito has a huge scar on his chest that he hates talking about, it just brings back the fear and pain felt when he got it, and by association reminds him that he's alone from his squad who may never see again, so he's very protective of it. Upon getting back to kinoga, they do find out about the scar accidentally, and Trito lets them. like auuuugh they were so familiar with each other and now get to see what's changed since the last time. exploring eachother's bodies. whatever

Kinoga also ends up feeling really guilty at some point for Trito being immediately so affectionate towards them, they harbor thoughts that they don’t deserve it after having him go through that pain, and trito having to tell them that he made his own decision, nobody was forcing him to go, and besides, did it to see kinoga and now that they’re right in front of him he can give him all the love he’s been holding for them. Auuughhhh. Like don’t worry about feeling guilty for it. It wasn’t their fault. What matters to him now is that they’re both alive and with each other. I feel like blowing up

Even after Kinoga goes back to splatsville the next day trito is still aches about them......like a few days of reunion could never be enough to compensate for the years that they spent apart. every time they meet up after that trito jumps in kinoga's arms and kiss them like it was the first time they'd reunited

anyways. they eventually go back down to the domes to find the others. By that time, Agent 8 had dismantled Kamabo, the Sludge shit was no longer in operation, and octolings have started going to the surface. Kanu, another squad member, left the domes to find Kinoga, Agara, and Trito(jilon was another squad member who left for reasons I haven't decided yet). Denchu, the last remaining member, stayed behind, holding on to the hope that the missing members would someday return (denchu is a whole other can of worms. theyre everything to me and I feel so terrible for them <3). Trito and kinoga meet denchu, they update them on everybody else, leaving agara unaccounted for. Kinoga, who was the only one to see Agara firsthand, knowing that she might be completely unsalvageable, hesitates to bring it up, but Trito insists on going to look for her. aughhh. kinoga wants to spare trito the pain of seeing her dead or unconscious. They do eventually find her </3

She is alive, but not doing well at all, Kinoga desperate to maybe find some way to undo sanitization and restore her to full health, knowing full well that it may not be possible. They take Agara back with them to the surface and Kinoga spends a lot of time agonizing again over having caused this, feeling that agara's state is somehow their fault (ITS NOTT they're beating themselves up so bad for this because they feel responsible for the squad. aughhh).

I think thats all I have for kinoga. for now. obviously there are more thoughts I can get into but currently my brain has just latched so hard on trito and kinoga's fun situation and I love them so much. didn't think I'd get attached to them this bad but here we are </3. I hope everyone who has read this far also enjoys them as much as I do

[hauntingofhouses]

i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).

ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

[shokupanda]

me when time moves forward at a steady pace: how the fuck is it more than halfway through july already. this fuckers rapidly sprinting when im not looking huh

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

i wanted this comic digitalized so bad that i used max's birthday as an excuse. :)

this is the true ending. if im insane enough ill show you the alternate ending though

bonus because i just. it just kinda peters out. longggg post yayyye

[stafsar]

L. Lawliet is a gifted photographer who believes he has understood the light and its secrets. Light Yagami is a young, unstable and slightly crooked model. Together, they kill time.

I had a bookcover design assignment so obviously I chose @devilinthebox's literary masterpiece of a fanfic Our Bodies, Possessed by Light