#sorry for not posting a lot I am a working adult with bills and back pain

[grey342]

Grovel

Phil Wenneck x reader

synopsis - You make Phil grovel after an argument

warnings - MDNI 18+ content, teasing Phil, slightly in public, P in V, no protection and Phil talking you through it (kinda).

authors note - Thank you guys for being so patient it means the world to me! I'm gonna try to post at least once a week but, school may get in the way of that fml. Thank you again for all the support and I hope you like this one. P.S- this was kinda rushed so apologies for that :)

please do not steal my work - belongs to @grey342

If looks could kill, I would've been dead as soon as I walked through the door.

There has been a bit of tension in the Wenneck household this week. Okay a lot of tension. It all started on Monday; Phil had to work late at the school again, which, of course, you had no problems with. However, the thing that bothered you was when he came home and revealed to you he was with that one colleague who has a massive crush on him.

Naturally being a grown adult, you communicated these concerns with Phil but, he claimed you were looking into things too much and he only has eyes for you. How cute.

So, you voiced these concerns to him yet again on Monday night. He claimed that you were being "dramatic" and "childish". Big mistake. You both started to go back and forth at each other until you ended the argument with the classic:

"you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

Due to your stubbornness, the pair of you haven't spoken a word to each other since. It's now Friday night, the night you and your friends designated as the weekly get together.

You and Phil both agreed to act civil with each other but you weren't letting him get off that easy. You done your makeup exactly the way he likes, put on his favourite dress and, as the last kick in the teeth, put on his favourite matching set.

You had already everyone that you were going to run a little late due to work, so they all got started without you. You took an Uber to the bar and as soon as you stepped through the doors, you could feel his eyes burning into you.

You walk over to the table greet everyone and sit down next to him. The table began to converse with each other when you felt his breath on your neck.

"You think you're really funny don't ya?" He grunts.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." You respond, feining innocence.

"Oh you don't huh?" He retaliates slightly smirking. You shake your head slightly and join in on the conversation. He puts his hand on your thigh and grips it to gain your attention.

"I'm in the middle of a conversation sweetheart, don't be rude." You teased. He straightens himself and moves his hand higher. He slowly moves it higher and higher until he reaches underneath your dress.

You struggle to hide your smirk when you see him realise. He leans in his voice barely a whisper.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" You pull his hand out and place it on his lap.

"Control yourself Phillip, we're in public." You warn smirking as you notice the vein on his forehead, popping slightly. You love doing this to him. It's your favourite hobby; getting a rise out of Phil.

The dinner goes on and you've been teasing him non-stop, waiting for him to snap. It's when you hover your hand over his buldge and rub softly against it, he does.

"Okay so sorry to cut it short but we gotta go," he says standing and grabbing your hand, "Doug if you could call me tomorrow and give me our bill that would be great bye guys." They all mutter goodbyes as he drags you by the hand to the car.

He gets in and slams the door.

"What the fuck do you think your playing at? And don't even try to pull that innocent bullshit act. What is going on?" He exclaims.

"You know what's going on." You say avoiding his gaze. He scoffs.

"Are you seriously this pissed over her?"

"Yes, I am! And I know it's stupid but," you sigh, "I trust you with my entire life. But..I don't trust her and I know that's a ridiculous excuse but-" He takes your hand into his.

"Oh sweetheart, you should've told me this. If I knew you were this bothered by her I would've stopped talking to her months ago."

"Really?" You look into his eyes.

"Of course." He reassures.

"Now, don't think you're completely off the hook," you look at him confused, "oh honey, don;t tell me you thought you would get away with that little stunt you pulled at dinner." Your eyes widen in fear and excitement.

"Just wait until we get home."

Throughout the entire car ride, he seems freakishly calm. But as soon as you step foot into your apartment his hands are all over you as his mouth claims yours. You moan out of surprise and your hands immediately began to rake his back.

His hands reach your thighs, he lifts you up, your legs wrap around his waist, and carries you to the bedroom. He places you on the end of the bed and begins to strip down until he's in his underwear. You doing exactly the same. He stops dead in his tracks and his eyes scan you from top to bottom.

"Holy fuck baby." You go to take your bra off when he stops you.

"Leave it on." He demands and pushes you back onto the bed. Your mouths meet again in a wave of passion. His hands rubbing up and down on your thighs until he meets your core.

He begins to slightly rub over your clit through your panties making you moan in his mouth. He slowly picks up the pace but it's not enough to take you over the edge.

"Please.." You beg.

"Please what?" He taunts.

"Please let me cum." You breathe out.

"Oh I don't think you deserve that just yet." He pulls his fingers away and you whine at the loss of them. in the blink of an eye his boxers are off and he began pumping his dick. He pushes your panties over to the side and rubs his tip slowly over your slit. You moan at the sensation.

He pushes the tip in at an agonizing pace and you began to squirm out of impatience.

"What's wrong honey?" He teases.

"Please Phil.."

"Come on, you can do better than that."

"Please, please fuck me Phil."

"Atta girl." He says sliding all the way in. He gives you no mercy as he pounds into you, the headboard beginning to bang against the wall. He places his head in the crook of your neck, his grunts and whimpers vibrating against your neck.

"You think it's funny to tease me hm? Make you feel good?" He asks in between breaths. You whine, shaking your head.

"No, good. From now on 'm gonna prove to you everyday that you are ten times the woman she is." He moans and picks up the pace.

"She doesn't hold a torch to you baby, she never will." You moan loudly, feeling the pressure build in your lower stomach.

"Phil..?" Your breath quickens.

"Yes honey?"

"I'm gonna cum."

"Me too, hold on we'll do it together mkay?"

"Okay.." His hand moves down to rub you clit, you whimper in response.

"Ready," you nod your head rapidly, "cum baby, oh fuck, cum on my dick." The second he says that you let the pleasure consume you. You feel his cum shoot into you as he whimpers in your ear.

You place your hand on his head, slightly pulling on his hair. He looks at you with a playful smirk on his face.

"What?" You return the gesture.

"Round two?"

"Fuck off." You say chuckling. He leans forward claiming your lips. You smile into the kiss.

His head slumps on your chest and the pair of you let sleep take over.

[xxspirit]

Hello, my name is Moon. And I'm asking you to spread the word of KOSA (Kids online 'safety' act) an awful, deceiving bill that will censor you, me, minors, and adults online alike.

How the bill works will cause social media to change in a horrible way. It will make it to where you must upload your ID publicly to prove you're old enough to view 'explicit' content.

In reality, that content is LGBTQ+ resources for abuse victims, resources for abortion, resources for Palestinians, resources for sex ED, and more.

It will censor us, destory fanfiction, WHATS NEXT? Uploading private messages? Putting your IP in public?

It will end Tumblr, Fanfics, privacy.

PLEASE HELP END IT! Speak out! Stop them, reblog as much as possible! #EndKosa

Hi, I appreciate you for helping to stop KOSA and helping people understand what KOSA is, and I agree with you that KOSA is terrible.

BUT we need to take a step back, and calm down. I know lots of people are freaking out about this act right now, I am too. But I think a lot of the chaos behind it is because of misinformation as well, specifically about the whole IDs.

Just a warning v

I want to clarify to anyone if they are just skimming past my words that I am NOT ADVOCATING FOR KOSA, I hate KOSA, this act is definitely not to defend minors from the internet but instead HARM them even more as well as EVERYONE ELSE. I just think we are causing a lot of panic and chaos because of misinformation.

I just want to help calm people down, I tried to do my own research and tried to fact-check myself to make sure what Im saying is true, but if you know I said something wrong please let me know and I am so sorry if I misspoke, I will correct myself as soon as possible. 🙏

KOSA DOESNT REQUIRE A PERSONAL ID: I did my own research about the need of uploading a personal ID, but this doesn’t seem to be true. I will be reblogging a few things today that I found, and also this website for my evidence:

KOSA still needs to go through congress, and then the President. Although it may or already have passed through the Senate sadly, there is still another chance. So keep up with the rallying and keep giving attention to KOSA about how stupid it is! WE CAN STILL STOP KOSA!!! DO NOT GIVE UP!!

Even IF KOSA does pass… it will take MONTHS for the act to go into action. I found this screenshot from another person, I’ll be reblogging their post after this one:

It will take a ONE YEAR and SIX MONTHS(A YEAR AND A HALF)before KOSA actually starts being implemented. In that time, we can think of what to do, migrate if we have to, or whatever.

Also- know this doesn’t help tumblr but I also saw on another post which ill reblog, that potentially Ao3 won’t be affected, which may be nice for some of you to know.

Here’s a petition I found, I recommend signing it!

It is so awesome to see the community work together to help stop KOSA, but let’s make sure to be checking our sources and try not to spread things that don’t seem to be accurate! 🙏

Stay safe guys, and stay strong 💪

[dreamykrimi]

Alright, so I know when I announced Sweater Weather's revival I said that I had already finished editing all of my published content. However, I did that in the summer. And miraculously, surprisingly, I've improved since then! Hurray!

However. This means that I am *back in the fucking building.*

I'm finding more and more ways to polish and add to Sweater Weather, and now with more hands on attention from my spouse as we tackle it as a team effort, it's getting yet another round of editing.

By the way, working together on the fic that lead to your relationship is a fantastic bonding experience for married couples, highly reccomend.

Now you know that in the six years since my last fic I have become a whole ass adult. I have a full time job, bills to pay, a bachelor's degree in progress, and a chronic illness that I picked up along the way. It's a pretty busy life! It's an amazing life, if I'm being honest. Maybe I'll talk more on that later 💜💙

All that said, I wanted to give a heads up to anyone following the progress of this fic's reincarnation. The Wooing of Todoroki Shouto will be split into two chapters, one half posted tonight, and the other half posted next Friday. I know it kind of sucks to wait if you're following along, and I'm sorry. But The Wooing of is probably my favorite of the series, and I want to spend more time with it before I put it back out into the world!

It's wild, actually, a lot of my writing from back then still stands up. I'm proud of what I did. But I also have new things to add to it, and I'm excited to share that growth.

So look forward to part one tonight! And wish me luck on continuing my work on this fic, which seems to be in an eternal state of progress. It might take a little longer, but I hope it will be worth it!

[jooniperbonsai]

Thanks For The Sub | ksj (Teaser)

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Teaser length: 2378

Chapter One length: 11-14k

Release date: Fri. January 19, 2024.

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: After a clip of you sucking at video games goes viral, you've become somewhat famous, with thousands of subscribers now tuning in each week to see you play. Overnight, you've gone from a sexually frustrated grad student who reads smut in her room to a gamer girl (or rather, a not-gamer girl). This would have been the perfect job, except it was never the job you wanted. Desperate for money to pay for grad school, you bounce between your new gig and working at a local restaurant to pay the bills, where your hot coworker-now-boss Seokjin plays many of the lead roles in your sexual fantasies.

Seokjin, two years post losing his fiancé and job within the same day, is tired of the rut he's dug himself into and wants to start over. Now 30 years old, he's stuck managing his family's restaurant where he harbors an insanely inappropriate crush on you on top of carrying one hell of a secret: Seokjin is also known as Jin, a successful gay-for-pay camboy on the streaming site Worldwide Handsome.

When the stress of the upcoming semester and the pressure to stream becomes more than you can handle, you seek out some much-needed stress relief online, only to discover a man who looks a little too much like your boss is staring right back at you.

Warnings for Chapter One: Swearing, cheating (not between main characters), big age gap between lesser characters that can be uncomfy, sex work, gay sex work when the worker is actually not gay (but everyone is chill about it), feelings of shame and guilt, feelings of failure/depression, the existential crisis of your late-20s/30s that we all seem to go through, off-handed references to kpop culture including fanfics because I'm a clown and need to call us out sometimes, silly literary tropes, references to pregnancy, boss-employee power dynamics, allusions to queer BTS members or relationships, cameos of au Seventeen Members (Wonwoo and y/n are besties). NSFW sex stuff: big dick Seokjin (of course), f/m masturbation, dirty talk, sex toys, kink exploration, uh a lot cum (sorry), I mention the omegaverse as a joke, a sparkly pink dildo, seokjin has a massive collection of toys and he intends to use them, seokjin and reader are constantly horny, reader is kind of inexperienced, implied exhibitionism, implied voyeurism, implied public sex.

a/n: hello! i haven't written fanfic in years! I've been wanting to get back into it for a long time but I also work full time and am working on a poetry manuscript so this never manifested! This fic is inspired by a combination of fics from the lovely writing community on here, with a lot of inspiration coming from "tip 143 (for ∞ seconds of love)" by minilouvre on ao3. I feel like the camboy/person trope is so fun to explore and I wanted to try my own take on it with our Seokjin, who doesn't seem to get as many fics written about him but absolutely deserves it. I also wanted to create space for a fic that explores the weird transition of late 20s-30s that both BTS and I (and maybe many of you) have experienced in the last few years. I hope you enjoy!

xo - h

The alarm on your phone chimes, pulling you from the book in your lap. You’d been reading all afternoon, the sun now taking its final bow before plunging the world into darkness. Soon you’ll have to turn the lights on, then it will be time for work. On your only day off. 

You groan, stretching your neck as you allow yourself to come back to reality. 

To some, it would be hard to call your job “work”. Many people dream of being professional game streamers. Who wouldn’t want to be paid to sit online, play games, and talk to people? 

You don’t. That���s the problem. 

Your ascent into gaming stardom was a fluke. About 9 months ago, you were in between semesters for your grad program and looking for ways to unwind. Your oldest friend, Wonwoo, was a pretty successful streamer who often hosted game nights to play with his viewers and friends. 

You frequently watched his streams, letting his soft voice be the perfect background noise as you studied and formulated the next lesson plan or behavioral assessment. You’d known Wonwoo for what felt like forever at this point, being his first subscriber, first moderator, and first kiss (not in that order). But your middle school kiss outside of the convenience store never led to anything more than that, as desperately as you’d wanted it to. 

Once he moved across the country, you let your crush die with the distance. The years turned faster and your twenties were spinning by with the revolving door of lovers you’d watch him pine over, cry over, and in one case, almost marry. Streaming then became one of your main forms of connection, and your role as his moderator tied some part of you to him out of loyalty. To imagine him as anything other than a friend now feels ridiculous. 

But that loyalty you have is also to a fault. When Wonwoo’s usual streaming friends bailed one night during a tournament, you subbed in…for a game you didn’t even know how to play. 

And to make matters worse, this was a game that required talking to each other on-stream, which meant you not only sucked major ass at this game, but Wonwoo’s 700 viewers that day were also subjected to your constant frustrated squeaks, swears, and embarrassed maws as you tried to key-smash your way to victory but ended up throwing the entire team’s game with your incompetence. 

Wonwoo wasn’t mad, though many others were. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed, and his streams operated with very few rules: no hate, no spam, and we are in this to have fun. And he did have fun. By the time the first round was over, he and most of the chat were losing it over your commentary. 

As he wiped tears from eyes and took in a breath, he read his comments. “‘Damn, I never heard a chick threaten someone with a plunger like that before’. Yeah, I’ll give it to you, Y/N, you got really creative with your insults in that. Hey, PartyShitty thanks for the sub! ‘I can’t BREATHE’, yeah I’m still trying to get it together. W00000000000000000ziiiiii–damn that’s a lot of zeros in that username–thanks for the 5000 points! ‘Is she hot’ uh, I mean, I don’t— 

“Oh shit, LetsGetIt15, thank you for gifting twenty subs! ‘Please, Y/N, start your own channel. I’ll be the first subscriber.’ Actually, no, I’ll be. But really, that's not a bad idea.”

Wonwoo navigated the rest of his stream with ease that night, but after it was over, he called you to try to convince you to start your own channel. 

“It could help with school at least! Or you could get that special edition of that one book you like with the dragons or the blue alien porn stars or whatever it is.”

“They’re neither of those things, they’re actually–”

“Whatever they are! The book that has people fucking nonstop and some plot. You know, the special edition cover that you keep talking about in your close friend story that you won’t buy?” Wonwoo said. “The point is, if you start streaming you could finally buy it and then stop talking about it and I won’t need to see sections about how hot you think their alien or fairytale or demon whatever cocks are.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his exasperation. “That won’t stop with me getting that book, just so you know. And if it bothers you so much, I can take you out of the close friend story. I didn’t even know you looked at my stories that much.” You didn’t know he still used Instagram at all actually. He very rarely posted. He mostly lived on his Discord channel talking about games with his subscribers or other friends.

Regardless, it was nice to know that he was trying to be aware of your interests, even if it was incredibly embarrassing. Although the copious amount of smut you read wasn’t something you always wanted to broadcast to the public, you’d still made some friends from online book communities over the last few years and enjoyed keeping them in the loop of your reading list.

Also, Wonwoo had a point. Streaming could help paying some of your school expenses…or get you more books. You told him you’d think about it, and while you weren’t completely in love with the idea of streaming, it did provide you with some steady income until you landed your job at the restaurant.  

After that conversation, you haven’t discussed smut or cocks since, and you’re honestly relieved, not because Wonwoo is hard to talk to about things, but because you are. Which is why streaming always feels a little uncomfortable and your position ironic, because you can barely have conversations successfully unless you really know the person to ramble about your interests to, or you can occasionally eke by with small talk. 

But streaming requires the spotlight being on you in some way at all times. It’s your face that is fixed to the corner of the screen, monitoring your every reaction. It’s your voice that echoes into the mic and responds to your chat. Sure, you have mods and some streamers don’t interact with their chat at all, but you don’t want to be like that. You’ve been on the other side before, and know that most people are just lonely and looking for connection. . 

From the moment you decided to do this, you were aware that because you were now a “gamer girl” you would be subjected to the three extremes of the comment section: chronic oversharers who tell strangers all their personal baggage perhaps in the hope that you will assume some role of therapist to them, people coming to insult your gaming (which is the point so that can’t impact you) or physical appearance, or sexually explicit comments. 

Over the months, you’ve seen many things flitting by on the screen, deleted in haste by your trusty mod squad, but it doesn’t stop the fact that you still see them. 

Those things you can handle. They are impersonal and a direct copy-paste of the same thing.

But when people compliment you? That makes you want to bury yourself under your covers and never come out. Because the compliments are always personal and touching a part of you that is authentic.

The people in your chat want to know you. They want to know what kind of music you like, your favorite foods and books. They ask if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner, compliment your hair or the shirt you’re wearing or your gaming setup. It feels intimate. Almost like you could find these people and touch them and let them know you. 

But they can’t. Because the only thing that drew them to you, the part where you’re this funny, positive gamer chick who sucks at video games but is down for whatever, isn’t real. 

Spring Day Streams Y/N is a persona. You don’t stream because you’re her. You stream because you have to be her in order to survive.  

And now she’s taking up more time. Last month’s streams landed you Streamer of the Month, which thanks to the exposure, brought dozens of new subscribers and thousands of points, and that helped take care of some of your expenses for the new semester. Some. You’re still behind on your credit card bill. 

Also, more people means more expectations for streaming. So you’ve kicked up your streaming schedule from twice weekly to three times a week, with you occasionally hopping onto Wonwoo’s channel even if you aren’t streaming to mod. 

When you aren’t glued to your computer, you’re usually at the restaurant, in a cramped kitchen where you do the prep work, often alongside him, your sexy coworker-but-now-boss, Seokjin. 

The man you are quietly obsessed with. You can’t think about Kim Seokjin without thinking about all the positions you want him to fuck you in. 

Which is also why you’ve been devouring books lately. When you’re home, you throw all your energy into the escapism they provide, especially ones where you can get yourself off to whatever fantasy Seokjin effortlessly slips into. 

For every hot mob boss, corrupt CEO, longterm best friend, dragon-rider, fairy, demon, alien, ghost, or hockey playing love interest you can find, Seokjin is sure to fill the role. A hot merman looking for someone to help him grow legs and something else? Seokjin. A Grinch who inherits his family’s Christmas tree farm and discovers how much he loves to ho ho ho? Seokjin. A god who tears apart the underworld to find his lost lover, and then during the reunion fucks her on the throne of Satan while she wears the crown? All Seokjin. 

Unfortunately, his transition from co worker to boss has made your fantasies all the more dirty. 

It’s been incredibly difficult for you to handle the fact that any flirtation you two previously shared in the months before he was your boss can no longer continue. But it’s also incredibly hot.

Fantasies of him eating you out on the counter have been replaced with the fantasy of him shoving you in the back office and fucking you on the desk while wearing one of those perfect-fitting dress shirts he often parades around in. 

And when he rolls up the sleeves to help in the kitchen? Fuck, it’s humiliating how wet you get.

The entire thing is pathetic really. He’s just standing there half the time, lecturing everyone on proper kitchen hygiene and ensuring one of the cooks doesn’t use expired seasonings for his eomma’s secret sauce. 

And you’re standing next to him clenching your thighs together because when you’re this close, you can just make out the freshness of his cologne and feel the heat of his body close to yours. 

When someone fucks up, he has a tendency to take over, chopping with unmatched precision and self assurance, trying to keep his voice even and usually failing as everything builds in intensity until he’s accidentally speaking at a million miles an hour and lecturing until his face turns red. 

If someone were to pass by the shop, they’d probably mistake his shouting for anger, but you’ve come to understand Seokjin is just passionate about things. Usually when he comes down from his tangent, he’s embarrassed and apologizes, and not long after the entire staff is laughing along with him as he cracks a joke at himself for his inability to tone it down.

Which to you makes him even hotter. Seokjin is able to see his faults and work with them, not against them. He holds himself accountable. He’s nothing like the haughty men you’ve gone on brief dinners with after downloading dating apps for the hundredth time while you’re drunk. He’s actually funny, knowing the right way to use humor and tell jokes, never at someone else’s expense, and definitely without being disgustingly crude. 

All those clowns you suffered through drinks with always made comments and digs at other women or referenced their cock like they were setting up some goofy scene from porn and you would find it hilarious and endearing. 

Seokjin isn’t like that at all. He probably refers to his dick as a penis and would blush to high heavens if he knew how horny you are for him. He’s unwound you, and he has no clue. Maybe if it hadn’t been literal years since you’ve last had sex you could tone it down. 

With working all the time and going to school, it’s already been hard to even go on singular dates here and there. And since the prospects were frankly awful, sex is just something that has had to go onto the back burner for a bit, but you seemed to scorch the fucking pan by forgetting to turn the heat off and now you are burning and hungry. 

With a final sigh, you put the book down, annoyed that you didn’t have time to finish it today or at least get to a good part where you could insert yourself into the role of the palace servant and Seokjin as the Prince. Based on the reviews, there’s sure to be a hot sex scene coming up involving using a sword in a particular way that has piqued your curiosity. 

In a moment of depravity earlier, you’d snaked one hand down the front of your panties to rub a few damp fingers around your clit to take the edge off. 

You check the time on your phone, already aware that you don’t have time to cum before streaming. You already hit the snooze button twice. The spicy stuff will have to wait. 

Defeated, you stand up, turning on the lights in your apartment as the sun finally fades away and the dark creeps in. You eat a bowl of cereal while doing your makeup, what little of it you want to put on. Finally, you fire up your PC, trying to ignore the irritation you’re already experiencing from being so high strung and unsatisfied.

The second this stream is over, you’re going to make sure you cum until you pass out. Until then, it’s time for work.

©2024 by jooniperbonsai

[legendary-guest]

https://www.tumblr.com/burningexeter/755283859212517376/heres-the-new-details-that-i-can-give-on-shego-in?source=share

I want to do a potential Kim Possible reboot called Global Justice and here's the details of Shego in it.

What are your thoughts on it?

As you have only sent this post discussing Shego's role in your reboot, I will do my best to just stick to discussing Shego. It's within the original nature of the show to have impossibly hypercompetent heroes and other good guys. Canon Shego fits this bill. Shifting it to this level and making it darker by giving her a kill count risks making it too unbelievable and silly. Especially if there isn't a level of self-awareness added to it that is in-line with the original show, where parody and Rule of Cool is the name of the game. It's small details, the humour and little, human elements of characterisation that elevate the show from being just nice to watch to actually engaging. Nothing wrong with a more serious, darker, edgier adaptation, either! So long as you can pull it off in writing. Having Shego's real/civilian identity be Ann Possible is unusual. I am aware that this is a very old fan theory, but putting it into place here changes Shego's established backstory a lot, and Shego's backstory/relationships with others informs her character. She defected to villainy after her leaving her family-based superhero team Team Go with her brothers, and after a potential solo/normal career as a teacher. Do her brothers exist within the reboot? Are they also a part of Global Justice? Did Team Go ever exist? Why or why not? Why did Shego turn out to be the best amongst them, especially with useful, exploitable abilities such as super strength and cloning? (Sorry Mego, GJ agents are working overtime to figure out how useful shrinking can be in missions that you would also be willing to do). It's also weird that, as a mother to Kim, she'd want to consistently try to 'kill' her. It'd mess with Kim's psyche big time and turn her into some sort of weird sociopath, potentially hell-bent on ruling the world. Or perhaps just a dysfunctional adult. Kim wouldn't really learn anything, other than her own mother cannot be trusted and that her relationship with her is based on a lie. Who is real? Shego or Ann Possible? Is this a split personality? Is it something akin to Jekyll and Hyde? Is the 'Ann Possible' identity a guise for Shego trying to integrate back into regular society whilst avoiding being on the radar of various branches of law enforcement? Does her treading back into 'good' start here, by starting a family? What does it say about the Shego's mental state to swing from good, to evil and back to good again? Especially with two separate identities? Is this a part of, as you have put it, Shego's sadistic side? Is Kim also prey to her? Did carrying Kim for nine months and going through labour and giving birth to her mean nothing? How does Ann Possible's established character within the show fit into Shego's established character within the show? Or is Ann just a 'shell' for Shego in this reboot? And what about James Possible? What about Jim and Tim? Does this mean that Shego is married to James Possible? Does James know of his wife moonlighting as a literal crazy woman, has a kill count and regularly puts their daughter in physical danger? James cares deeply about Kim within the show, he isn't a neglectful father. Does Shego intend to do the same thing to the Tweebs, given their naturally high intellect, trying turn them into great scientists (by also almost killing them on a regular basis) who will also help the world? Kim's family is her support network. They don't force her into the vigilante hero lifestyle, it's something she does on her own time, through her own choices, with encouragement from Ron. Her family is there to listen to her about her school troubles, and occasionally her problems with criminals and villains.

Why pick Shego to be Kim's enemy and her own mother? What dimension is given to Shego's character by making her Kim's mother? Canon Shego already has a background where nurturing or teamwork is part of her career/life. Her life with her brothers as a member of Team Go and her education and career as a teacher. Within the show itself, Shego being something like Kim's sister is alluded to once in Blush by Drakken, and explored in Stop Team Go. Why change the sisterly relationship to a mother-daughter relationship, especially if carrying and birthing Kim and waiting for her to grow into teenhood is what finally turns Shego from villain to anti-hero - not to mention, in-between that time, she also had twins! And, what about Drakken? Ron? You can easily shift the 'main characters' to being just about Kim and Shego, but Drakken and Ron are important supports for both of them in canon, and their relationships to them are significant. What can Shego do for Kim that Ron can't? What can Kim do for Shego that Drakken can't? Most importantly - How can you do this in a convincing and in-character way?

What elements of canon will you have to use to convince the reader that this is Kim and this is Shego? There's a fanfic out there called S Plus D Equals K by Neo the Saiyan Angel.

I have not read it, but the general consensus seems to be that it is enjoyed by some of the fandom. It explores the idea that Shego and Drakken are Kim Possible's real parents. I am not interested in this concept, but maybe this idea might interest you, and might provide some ideas as to how you could tackle the concept of Shego being KP's mother.

Most of my thoughts on the concept you've proposed are a bunch of questions. I will be honest, this is not an idea that I am interested in. I prefer Kim and Shego to be at odds, even post-canon.

Best of luck to you with your idea, I hope some of these questions help you out in building your AU/reboot.

[lil-dinopup]

Name: You guys can call me Dinopup! Or just Pup

Age: I'm Over 25

Species: Fairy Mascot / Dinosaur Dog! With the ability to turn human

Gender: I'm Nonbinary (Fem Leaning)

Pronouns: Fae/Fem is my preferred pronouns but I also use She / Her (I'm only out as nonbinary IRL to my twin) and It/Its

Sexuality: Asexual (Sex Repulsed) Sapphic but Questioning Aromantic

Living: In The USA

I am an age regressor and cg but it's complicated >////< Naturally very cg-ing but def not someone who could take care of someone fully by myself XD I'm more of the fun kind big sister kind of cg. I'm not currently looking for any littles though. My little age range is quite large and I need to explore it more, but I regress mostly when I'm having bad feelings or super tired and forcing myself to stay up LOL! So It's pretty hard for me to do so.

I love love love writing and drawing littles things though!

I made this blog because I really wanted to share my art with Tumblr! 

While I mostly write just for fun, I take art commissions which mostly help going towards food and bills. I will tag art that are commissions such. Because of this I don’t really take requests often. 

I'll be honest this is the first time I've made an introduction post sooo I looked at lots and lots of examples to see what most people do!

🦖 I struggle with mental health issues and other stuff. So I sometimes take a while to reply or post. But, I never let my issues get in the way of finishing a commission!

🐕 I use clipstudio to make my art

🦖 This is a side blog because I wanted my main blog to be a place where I felt comfortable reposting other people's art and stuff. And this blog is focused on just my art if that makes sense? So I can't follow people back as Dinopup

🐕 My sona Dinopup has gone through many edits some of the pictures I will post of her will be of her old look.

🦖 Expect posts being posted at weird times I have never heard of a sleep cycle

🐕 I'm way too hard on myself 99% of the Time!

🦖 This blog is SFW so no sexual asks or things like that please (specially because that stuff is super uncomfortable for me)

🐕 Please don't message me asking to be your CG while I'm a very caring person it makes me uncomfortable to get those messages. While less likely please don’t ask me if I want you as a CG. My regression is really complicated and I don’t feel comfy dragging someone else into it. I'm sorry

🦖 While this blog is okay with diapers and draws littles in diapers, I'm not comfortable with messy diapers.

🐕 Please don't take my art without crediting me I work really hard on it :< If you want to use my art for a mood board or something please first DM me for my approval and second make sure you credit me for my art with a link to my blog

🦖 Please no guilt tripping or anything like that, its really bad for my mental health.

🐕 I follow the Golden Rule please do so as well! (If you don't know what the Golden Rule, it's treat others as you would like to be treated, aka be nice)

🦖 Commissions: Open!

🐕 Asks: Open (Anon too)

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🐕 Mentally: Doing Ok!

🦖 Activity Levels: I'm Trying To Be Active!

🐕 Dinopup Rambles: Just General Posts I make

🦖 Dinopup Answers: For Answering Questions

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🦖 Dinopup Writing: For My Stories

🐕 Dinopup Commissions: This features Commission I Worked On

🦖 This is Dinopup's Ref Sheet

🐕 Dinopup is a Magical Girl Fairy Mascot who prefers to stay in her human form

🦖 Her Default Cloth Color is Blue

🐕 While Dinopup is an adult please don't draw her sexualized since she is me that's very awkward and uncomfortable for me

🦖 She has the ability to transform herself any way she like

🐕 Like me she's a little too!

[roadtogracelandx45]

I Want This| Band of Brothers|One shot

this was supposed to be posted on Friday for the last day of Band of brothers week 2023- prompt- free day-emotion, but real life and my health started kicking my ass again. but here this is. This center in Points and Grant getting shot and having Olivia with him. its coming in at almost 7.3k words, one of the longest scenes i have written for Courage Under Fire by far.

masterlist

thanks to @marycorleone for listening to me ramble about this idea.

I Want This

Summary: To keep her mind off of the losses Easy Company had suffered, Olivia goes on patrol with Grant and two replacements only to end up in a worse position then before 

LiebLiv

NixLiv 

TabLiv 

Rated m for adult content and for violence. Also will mention r***. 

Tied into Courage Under Fire 

*** 

“There you are Liv, we have been looking for you all over,” Harry commented as he lowered himself to sit down on the stairs in front of Olivia, she had come to the stairs that lead from the back balcony after her meeting with Colonel Sink and General Forbes to clear her head before going back to work. “Sorry, I have been here since my meeting with Sink finished.” She returned, not quite raising her eyes to meet his or Lewis’s. “What’s wrong?” He prodded as Lewis nudged her with the open bottle of champagne. One of the few that had been remaining from the truckloads they had taken from Hilters stash. 

“They are talking about sending us to the Pacific.” She finally answered after a hefty swallow of the bubbly drink, “Since we don’t have been firing actual weapons and haven’t gotten any  medals, we have no points.” 

The two men exchanged a look as Lewis sat on the top step, settling his legs around her and letting her rest her back against his chest. A comfort for them both. One they only ever did when they were around people who knew them both well. 

“I can’t tell them we are going back to an active war zone and we can’t go home yet. I can’t tell them that they are going to watch more of our boys die and have to be powerless to stop it. I can’t be the one anymore that has to write home to these girls' parents and say I am so sorry that your daughter died and I was powerless to stop it. I don’t know how you guys write home every time one of those boys dies.” They weren’t men to her, they were boys. Especially the replacements that came in to replace the Toccoa men, O’Keefe, a replacement who joined them after Bastogne, and who Olivia had a major soft spot for. “I can’t do it again. I won’t be held in a foxhole or on the ground again,  against my will again by another officer while those boys call out for a medic and their mamas.”  

Buck Compton had held her in their shared foxhole after the shelling that took Joe Toye and Bill Guarnere’s legs from them and her oldest brother Edward’s life. She had to listen to Joe Toye beg himself to get up and then Bill try and help him up. Then they had all to listen to Edward call for Liv and Bobby. 

She hadn’t forgiven Buck.  But they all understood why he did it, they could handle most losses but if they lost her, it would be the end for a lot of them. She along with Dick was the heart and soul of the company.  Any one of them would have done the same thing.  

They just didn’t say anything about it to Liv, they didn’t want their heads taken off. 

“We will figure something out Livvy,” Lewis commented, they were already working on getting most of the boys home, the girls wouldn’t be a problem, especially Liv. 

She nodded her head and took another drink off of the bottle, “I did get a letter from Bill.” They all knew about her and Bill. Especially Lewis who not only had known her and her brothers before the war but had also been billeted with her in France and England and now again in Austria. She could reign him in from drinking and he offered comfort to her. And he turned a blind eye to Liebgott and others who went in and out of their room. 

“He wants to make this work.” She motioned between her body and the empty space between the bottle and her, “Whatever this is. And he wants me to leave Joe.”

  “After he fucked his way through the rest of the nurses including Evelyn and Daisy. And beating the shit out of Liebgott for sleeping with you and marrying you?” Harry laughed, swiping the bottle from her and taking a drink of it, and handing it back to her.  Olivia took another swallow of the drink to stall, uncomfortable. “And he hurt you for two years. Not to mention that whole thing with Liebgott and London.”  

He and Lipton both viewed her as their little sister, but they could see the appeal to her. And he had sympathized with her, she was lost and confused and she was starting to find her way through sleeping with some of the men in the company. Then she was thrown back to step one, it happened before they jumped into Holland and it was happening again. 

“Good thing he didn’t find out about the others.” Lewis teased with his own laugh, his fingers tracing a pattern down her bare arm, breezing over the comments about Liebgott and London. They still hadn’t figured out how to get her out of that mess. And honestly, Lewis thought that Olivia didn’t want to be let out of it, with everything that had been going on, she was settled and had this glow about her. 

That they really couldn’t explain. 

“Shh, Lew, Harry doesn’t know about them.” 

“About who? You two? Hate to break it to you sweets, you two weren’t as sneaky as you thought you were. Neither were you and Buck, you and Tab, Or you and Bill.”  Color flooded Olivia’s face and she turned it so he couldn’t see her full embarrassment.  “Kind of hard not to see them leaving your room.” Harry mused.

 “Oh god.”

 “We heard that quite a lot.”

 She buried her hot face into Lewis’s thigh to cover it up.

 “It’s her favorite.” Nixon agreed, he could feel the heat from her face and couldn’t help but tease her. 

This was a familiar game for them to play,  him embarrassing her and her flushing beet red. It was a game that even Dick once he got comfortable with her in officer’s training got involved with. A game they hadn’t been able to play since they had gone to Holland. It felt good to be normal at least for a little while. 

“Lewis shut up.”  She warned, voice muffled by the material of his uniform. “Or else what sweetheart?” his amusement was clear in his voice, she pulled back to look at him, and her eyes met Dick Winters’ who had just joined them. “Or I will tell Dick about that one night after he went back to his room.”  Shock filled his features as he clambered forward to cover her mouth with his hand causing her to giggle and Harry to laugh. “We don’t talk about that night Livvy, and you know that.” “What night?” Dick asked, unable to help himself. He had a very vague idea of what happened behind closed doors. 

“No, night. No night at all.” Lewis stammered before pulling his hand away from Olivia’s mouth, “Did you just lick my hand?”  She broke out in fresh giggles, it stuck them all how much she was still much a teenager at heart. She had joined the Army Nursing Corps at 18 after 3 of her older brothers had died in Pearl Harbor and Midway, at 19 when she joined them at Toccoa, and at 20 when they went to England and jumped into Normandy and when she and Liebgott woke up in an odd position in London.  And was just 21 when her whole world started crumbling around her more. And before that, she had to grow up early and help care for her younger siblings and her great-great-grandfather. 

The laughter died out just as quickly as it came and she rested her head against Lewis’s chest, the quietness almost eerie. Instead of pushing her to talk like he normally would or forcing her to drink, he just pulled her closer into his chest. “Sometimes I wish I never left PawPaw’s house.” She admitted softly, “They were right, women aren’t supposed to see this kind of stuff.” Lewis pressed a kiss to the side of her head, unable to bring himself to tell her he told her so.  As much as it scared him, her brothers,  Bill, and most of the boys to death that she was there, he was glad she was there.

 She was a major comfort.  For all of them. 

“I should go hunt down the boys.” She said after a few minutes, “I think Joe said something about Shifty taking them into the forest to hunt for meat?” Harry laughed, he, Speirs, and Lipton had heard the same thing, “I kind of tuned it out after a few minutes.” “Exhaustion will do that to you Liv. I thought Doc Peppering ordered you to rest.” Dick commented as she pulled herself away from Lewis and stood up. “I will sleep when I know we are all safe at home Dick. Until then my worry is all of you. You come first.”  She excused herself just as Speirs joined them. She offered him a greeting before going into the building. 

“We know, she has always been like this.” Lewis commented having known her the best, “I think it’s actually gotten worse since we have been here.” “Should get her stupidly drunk again and make her pass out.” Harry mused as he stood up. “Yeah, 'cause that worked out so well the last time,”  Dick muttered he had been the one in the headquarters  when she woke up in a panic. In the almost 3 years he had known her, he had never seen her react like that before. Hair all mussed up, eyes wide with panic, and somehow she had gotten ahold of one of Liebgott’s guns and had it in her hand. And if Dick had to guess she knew how to use it and she wouldn’t have been afraid to use it. 

**

“Stop Alice! It’s fine!” Olivia complained pushing her assistant’s hand away from her hair, she had insisted that they did their hair up in something other than the standard buns they had been wearing since after Normandy. “Come on Liv, it's the D-Day anniversary, we are still here and alive.” “We have even been sleeping in real beds! And hot showers!” Betsy threw in from where she was sitting going through the jewelry that Olivia had brought with her or had picked up along the way. 

 Some were picked up by her brothers or by Joe or Bill.  Some she had gotten from Eagle’s Nest perks of being the first nurse on site.  “And food! Hershey bars!” 

“I know.’ Olivia started as Alice twisted the section  of her hair around the curling iron.  Joe had reacted the same way when he saw the small stash she had in one of the drawers. He had been digging around for a condom and found those instead. The pure joy in his reaction warmed her heart and soul. And helped spread some light onto the love she had for him

“It’s something to celebrate Liv.”  And really they hadn't had anything to celebrate really  not since after D-Day.  “Fine, fine.” She caved, “couldn’t hurt feeling like a girl again.”  “Thatta girl.”  Lily  grinned,  before leaning over and squeezed  her shoulders.

**

 “I do have to tell y’all something before we go down there.’ She started a while later as she stood on her toes, with a tube with what was left of her red lipstick in her hand. 

 “We are going to the Pacific aren’t we?” Betsy asked from where she was standing fixing her victory curls.

 Olivia nodded her head frowning,  “Major Winters and Nix are trying to figure a way out of this.” 

‘Liv,” Alice took the lipstick from her hands to stop her from fidgeting, “Don’t worry about it, we got through this, and we will get through all of this. We got this.” 

**

A loud whistle met Olivia’s ears as she came down the steps, “Y’all stop! You have seen me look like this before. Under all that dirt and grim, I am a  woman. I have boobs, legs, and everything.”  “Knew she could still blush.’ Tab teased from where he was standing next to Harry, who offered her a smile, he had passed her room on the way to get changed and heard the girls’ giggles and singing and hoped that time with the girls would have helped cheer her up. 

“Floyd shut up.” She warned, “I still blush just not around you.” “Oh baby, I know. Joe told me all about it.” That time she thumped her hand against his chest, “Behave.” He covered his heart with his hands as he went to stand on the other side of Harry, “You know I do.” 

 “And if you behave then I am Princess Margaret.” “It's nice to meet your Highness.” Harry lowered his head in a mock bow causing her to laugh and shake her head, “You two are incorrigible.” “We know.” Tab went to say something else but was stopped by Speirs calling them all to attention.

 Quickly the captain cast her eyes to where her girls were standing and offered them a smile, then her eyes met Liebgott’s eyes and he smirked. She could almost tell he was planning on different ways of getting her out of the dress uniform after the meeting was over and how quickly he could get her out of her uniform, the quickest time was under 5 minutes. 

Ever since the confession of their love for each other, he hadn’t been able to keep his hands to himself and she hadn’t been able to either. He told her that if he got the chance before they either got sent back to the States or to the Pacific he would marry her. 

Again. 

When they had gotten married after D-Day, it had just been the two of them and the judge and a lot of whiskey.

And she had felt a bunch of butterflies in her stomach. She had only felt that one other time with Bill when she was young and stupid. Now she was still young but a lot smarter when it came to things like this.  

“General Taylor is doing a lottery to send someone home,” Harry spoke lowly in her ear, shaking her out of her thoughts and out of the staring contest with Joe. 

“We are going to send Shifty home. He was 15 points short.’

 “Shifty? Really?” She returned careful not to be sure that they were talking, she didn’t need Speirs on her ass about breaking all the rules, ‘How? He’s the best goddamn sniper.’

  Harry inclined his head in agreement as he tipped his hand into the helmet and moved his hand around like he was digging for a number, even if there was one piece of paper in it.  She should have known better than to doubt Winters and Lewis, they always tried to take care of them. 

 “Do me a favor, Livvy, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”  Talbert teased as the group started breaking up with a lot of grumbling with Spiers’ announcement that they were going to be training to go back to war.  “Floyd, when have I ever done anything you would do? And those two nights in London don’t count.’  His eyebrow rose in amusement, 'Oh you are right sweets, you are on the tight and narrow.’

 “Fl-oy-d!”  

“Ol-iv-ia.”  He returned as Liebgott, Grant and several others joined them including Shifty. “Hey Shift,” she said, stepping away from Harry and Talbert to hug the younger man who flushed. 

“Seriously, 3 years later and you are still embarrassed when I do this?” She teased before pressing a kiss against his burning cheek. Joe said his goodbyes to Shifty and then took hold of Olivia’s hand and started pulling her back into the house. 

“Joe, you are going to get us both into trouble.” She muttered as he backed them against the wall and crashed his mouth against hers. 

“Who cares?” He muttered against her mouth, “If anything it will get you sent home, where you would be safe.” She reached her hand and fisted it into the back of his hair, “I am not sending you and the rest of the boys who don’t have the points to the Pacific without me. You would get killed. I, we,” she corrected herself. 

Hoobs, Dukeman, Penkala and Muck had been his friends too, “can’t lose anyone else.  I can’t, I won’t lose you too.”  His grip tightened on her waist, those feelings of  need dying out quickly, he and Bobby had talked about how much she was hiding behind that rock-solid wall of perfect southern Belle that they didn’t know how much she was truly hurting. 

This was the first time since she found out about Muck and Penkala being killed in another shelling while she was in the hospital helping with not only Bill and Joe Toye but the others wounded.  Almost destroyed her right in front of their eyes. 

“If I lose you, Joe, I may as well be dead too.” 

 “Baby,” Joe started freeing his hands to cup her face, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes, she didn’t want him to see her break like this. “Olivia, look at me.” He pleaded, finally her blue eyes raised to look at him and his heart dropped to his stomach, “You aren’t going to lose me. I promise you that. When we got married in London, to me it was for good. You are my wife. And not even this goddamn war is going to keep me from you.” Tears finally slipped out of her eyes and he was quick to wipe them up with the pads of his thumbs. “I love you, Joe.” She hiccuped, “And I want nothing more than to go back home with you and have a house full of little Liebgotts running around. I want this, I want us.” 

George had told him that she had overheard his conversation with Webster and about how he talked about their future, she got a little smile on her face. And it filled him with more love than he could have felt possible.

“But, please, please don’t make any promises you can’t keep.’ She begged, “Edward promised he would never leave me or Bobby, and he died in my arms, in the cold and snow, James and Nick promised the same thing. And they aren’t coming back.” Her voice trailed off when more of the boys started coming through the house.

 “I know baby, I know.” He pressed his lips against her forehead and glanced over her head at her twin brother who was standing a few feet away, concern etched on his face and Joe shook his head. 

 It wasn’t just him that she needed reassurance from, it was her twin brother. “Hey trouble, you okay?” He asked, crossing the rest of the marble floor in four long strides. 

“No.’ She admitted softly, “I am not. I don’t know how much more I can take.”  As much as Bobby wanted to keep his sister with him, her grief and hurt were doing more damage to her than the war was. 

He knew the best place for her was back in Charleston with their parents and their younger siblings and the littles that they had running around now. 

There had to be a way to get her home that wouldn’t get her killed or pissed off at him or the other boys.

“Livvy! C’mere!” Nixon’s singsong voice came, causing her to release a heavy breath and straighten her shoulders, “Comin’ Lew, have you been getting to the whiskey again without me?” She raised herself up on her toes and pressed a kiss against her husband’s cheek and then her brother’s before going up the stairs to where Nixon and now Harry were standing. 

“You think that Nixon will get her out of going with us to the Pacific?” Joe asked lowly. “Oh yeah, he was furious enough when he saw her at Toccoa that he went all the way to Uncle Finn to get her to be sent home. Say what you will about Lewis and his selfishness but he does love my sister.” He paused, resisting the urge to smirk when he saw the anger flush starting to cover his brother-in-law’s neck and cheeks, “He isn’t in love with her, not anymore. But he will and I am sure Winters, Welsh, and Speirs are in on it now, will do anything and everything to get her to go home.” 

***

Olivia’s mind was still heavy and racing with thoughts after yet another meeting, this time supply.  Racing thoughts she wasn’t sure she could handle, not with being alone and with access to booze. Joe and her brother had disappeared to do something or another and she had given the girls the night, claiming that she, Roe, and Spina could handle anything that could arise.

 “Fuck.” She muttered as she got off of the bed and pulled on the jacket that was flung over the back of the chair, “Get it together Livia, you’re fine. Get some fresh air and you will be right as rain.”  

The fresh air didn’t help as much as she had thought it would’ve, it just felt like she was suffocating more and more. Like she had felt when she woke up alone in Berchtesgaden.

  “Liv?” Chuck Grant’s voice came from a jeep that he and two replacements were going to be using for their patrol, “Are you okay?” The blonde turned around quickly, trying to stop her rapid breathing and racing heart. She shook her head before she leaned over and emptied her stomach into the rose bushes. The Sargent quickly put his helmet and weapon down and crossed the space that was between them. 

“Hey it’s okay.” He grabbed a hold of the loose curls and held them back as she continued to throw up. “Breath it’s okay, where are Liebgott and Bobby?” he wanted to reach out and grab her shoulders once she straightened like he had seen Joe, Bobby and Lewis do but she was more than likely to punch him instead. They were friends but they weren’t close like she was with Lewis or even Luz and Welsh. 

 They had all gotten a lecture about keeping the girls close by and safe, there had been rumors about replacement soldiers in other companies or even Krauts beating and raping the nurses. 

“They went somewhere with Babe and Malarkey, I think.”  Chuck nodded his head and ran his hands up and down her arms, they had all picked up on how to calm events like this with all the girls and vice versa. 

“Take a couple of deep breaths.”  Closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths to steady herself and then that godawful song that she and Bobby both sang when they were nervous, exhausted, or pushed to their limits started to hum. I wish I was in Dixieland.

“Okay?” 

“Yeah, thank you.” Chuck glanced back at the jeep and the two replacements that were waiting for him, he didn’t feel right leaving her with how freaked out she was and how sick she got , “Come on patrol with us, get you out for a bit.”  Olivia glanced over her shoulder at the building and then at the jeep before nodding her head in agreement.  “Captain Stewart,” the one replacement commented once she had joined them. 

“Relax, you can call me Liv, almost everyone does.” She offered him a smile before climbing into the back of the jeep. “Ma’am really sit in the front.” Olivia shook her head, she had been having flashbacks from leaving Bastogne every time that she sat in the front of the vehicle.  It was easier on her to be in the back; she had done it right after she got promoted to Captain and was allowed to ride with Winters, Nixon, Welsh, and Speirs. They never questioned it.  Then her mind wandered to the reason why she had gotten sick, she never got sick like that, not even when she was sick with the flu. 

Oh no, she couldn’t be pregnant could she? It was a possibility, but she didn’t even want to think about that, she couldn’t leave them not now. 

“And then out of nowhere, a guy jumps out of a hedgerow and landed on this guy’s chest with his trench knife against his throat and screams who’s side are you on?”  Chuck was telling a story about their landing in Normandy and how wound up Bill had been. “I don’t get it.” the replacement next to her commented. 

“It was D-Day.” Chuck started glancing over his shoulder at them, “And it was the second platoon’s own Bill Guarnere. Wound up like I don’t know what.” 

“Oh, I know he was wound up tight like a spring ready to explode.” Olivia commented with a small laugh, “Knew he could be vicious but nothing like that. It took days for him to uncoil.” She gave her friend a pointed look not to say anything about her prior relationship with Bill. All these replacements needed to know was that she was Captain and that she was Liebgott’s, that was it.  

“And you thought he was bad then Chuck you should have seen him when he first found out that I was going to Nix’s wedding with my aunt and that I wasn’t taking him back.”  Chuck snickered at that, between Liv, Nix, Bobby and Bill, they could keep them entrained for hours, “What a bunch of fucking characters.” 

“What happened to him?” 

“I thought you were from Charleston?”

 Olivia laughed and shook her head before sitting forward and tapping Chuck’s shoulder.  He didn’t need the tap on the shoulder or the sudden fear that clenched his stomach when the lights finally landed on the scene. 

“Liv, stay here.” He ordered but it was too late, she was already out of the backseat and going over to the bodies that were on the ground to check on them. That nurse side already taking over again. 

“Hey, you are one of them nurses.” The drunken replacement said, once his eyes landed on her. 

 “I am. How much have you had to drink, Trooper?”  She rose up to her full height and held her hands up, relief filling her when she felt Chuck by her. 

“Are you okay Mac? Need some help?”  

The drunk soldier answering  laugh sent a chill down Olivia’s spine, she had been around all sorts of different drunks her entire life, and Mac was shaping up to be exactly like the woman who gave birth to her and her older brothers. 

“They wouldn’t give me any gas Krauts.” Mac was pacing, his pistol waving around in his hand, “I tried to explain, but this fucking limey wouldn’t listen.”  

Bile rose up in Olivia’s throat and she pressed the back of her hand against her mouth to stop it. This shouldn’t be making her stomach weak, after everything they had seen since D-Day? Everything she had seen in her great-great grandfather's files, this was making her have a weak stomach. 

“I think he was a major.”  Hearing those words caused Olivia to jolt forward and check to make sure it wasn’t their major. That it wasn’t Dick.  Mac grabbed her arm and hauled her to him. “Private, let go of me now.” She ordered.

 “Listen to her.” Chuck threw in,  “She is a Captain.”

 “No, she is a slut. That’s what we all have heard.” His bloodshot eyes raked over her body and it landed on her name tag, “Stewart? Isn’t your grandfather in charge of this bullshit?”  

“Uncle,” she corrected, “you are the one that signed up for the paratroopers. He didn’t force you into this.” 

 Mac raised his hand and brought down a stinging slap on Olivia’s cheek causing her to cry out and Chuck to storm forward, “Listen, private, we have a serious problem here. Give me your weapon.”  

Mac raised his hand up and itched the side of his head, his hand still in a vice grip around Olivia’s forearm. “Do you have any gas?” 

“Give me your weapon and release Captain Stewart now!”  Grant took a step forward and Mac stumbled, yanking Olivia back towards him. 

“Oh well, I’ll just use his jeep.” He started towards the jeep dragging her with him. “Hold on a second there all right?” 

He shoved the girl towards the running vehicle and then turned around and fired a shot at Chuck hitting him in the head. 

“No! Chuck! Let me go you fucking son of a bitch!”  Terror filled Olivia, much like it had when she had seen Bill, Joe Toye and her brother laying in the snow with blood staining the snow around them. She couldn’t lose him, Mary couldn’t lose him, the company couldn’t lose him. 

   “Shut up cunt!” Mac swore smacking her again before he pulled off. 

“Sarge! Cap!” The replacements shouted getting out of the jeep and rushing towards him. 

**

“There’s one other thing, sir,” the replacement informed Captain Speirs after they had gotten Grant back to the hospital. “Captain Stewart was with us sir, she was having some sort of attack and Sarge brought her with us.” 

 If the other men weren’t furious and fearful of losing someone else before they were now.  

“Where is she?” Speirs questioned. “With him. She was trying to fight him off.” He squeezed Grant's hand and released it, “You come with me.” He threw at Roe, “Tab, you find the son of the bitch and Olivia.” 

 “Where are you going?” Tab questioned,  his hands forming fists, he knew that this was going to push Bobby and Liebgott over the edge, and he almost pitied the poor bastard who had shot Grant and taken Olivia. 

“ To find a brain surgeon. I want him found alive.” The doctor chuckled lowly, if the guy wasn’t going to be dead before this, he was now. Speirs was lendgary, if he shot one of his own men for drinking too much, what would he do to one that killed an officer, kidnapped another and almost killed another.  And Easy Company was the one company that you didn’t fuck with. 

Ever.

** 

“Hey, Lieb,  he wants a noncom guarding each roadblock. And at least two men watching every road out of town.” Talbert relayed as he walked through the halls rousing Easy Company, “And the son of a bitch  has Olivia.”   Joe swore and went to push around his friend and go storming out to find his wife and kill the bastard. 

 “Bull, Malark take a squad and a witness to each of the houses and find him.” 

“Can we shoot this bastard on site?”  Malarkey asked as he pulled his jacket on, thankful that Betsy and the other girls were safely locked in their rooms on the other side of the building. She would be devastated if anything happened to Olivia. 

All of those girls were like sisters. 

He didn’t even want to think how Mary was going to handle this all either. 

All of these wartime romances blossomed, and some he could see was going to last. 

Like Leibgott and Olivia, him and Betsy, and to a point Chuck and Mary.  He quickly shook his head trying to get rid of the thoughts.

 Their first and only concern at this point was finding the bastard and Olivia, and praying to god that Chuck survived.

*** 

“You are so dead.” Olivia mumbled as she tried to pull her torn uniform shirt back on her battered body. “You don’t have to worry about what JAG will do to you. You killed a major and a Sargent. And you kidnapped and raped a Captian.” 

 Mac turned on his heel and glared at her. 

“You have heard the stories of Captain Speirs right?” She asked, ignoring the shooting pain in her jaw and the rest of her body, “I am one of his people, he shot a soldier for drinking too much. What do you think he is going to do someone like you?” 

There were loud bangs coming from outside of the barn, and waves of relief rushed over her, she knew that they would have come for her and for Chuck.

 “REBEL!” Bull’s voice boomed, “YOU HERE!” “BULL!” She shouted, her lungs burning with the effort. “Shut the fuck up bitch.” Mac ordered as he pointed the gun at her. “What are you going to do shoot me? Go ahead, you are just going to dig yourself deeper and deeper into your own grave.”  She stood up and let her shirt fall open, “Go ahead.” 

The soldier didn’t get a chance to answer because the door to the room broke down and Bull, Babe, Hashey and several others came into the room. 

“Liv, what did he do to you?” Babe asked as Bull pulled the  jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders, covering her from view. 

“Use your imagination Edward.” She returned stumbling slightly as she stood up. 

“Heffron, Hashey get her out of here..” Bull ordered, “I got this.” “Bull.’ “Liv, please.”  Bull Randleman was a man of few words and usually when he talked, she usually listened, and this time there was so much restrained anger in his voice that she shut up instantly and nodded her head. Babe had helped her steady her and start leading her towards the door. 

“Is Chuck okay?” 

“We don’t know yet. Speirs and Roe took him into town. We will get Doc Peppering to check you out okay?” Hashey commented, he knew that Babe wouldn’t be able to trust his voice much to say anything else.  The girl nodded her head again and let the two slowly help her out of the barn and to the running jeep.  

 “Can I get you anything?” Babe finally asked once she was in the backseat, he climbed up next to her letting her rest against his side. Thankful that she wasn’t startled by him or Hashey.

  She shook her head and burrowed herself further into Bull’s jacket,  there were four  people that she wanted right then. 

One was her father who was half a world away from them, the second had died 5 months prior in Bastogne, the third and fourth was her twin brother and her husband.  “We will get you back to the house soon.” The redhead said as he ran his hand down her arm. 

**

“Where is she?” Joe’s angry voice rang through the hallways as he and the others had come back. O'Keefe had been sent to get them and let them know that they had the man and that Olivia was safe. And Joe and Bobby wasted no time getting back to the house. Their own thoughts were getting back to her. 

 “She is back there.”  Babe informed, “Tab and Luz are with her.” “How bad is it?” Malakarey asked, pausing, his movements. “Um, I think you should see for yourself.” He motioned back to Joe’s room, where Tab insisted that Olivia be taken instead of up to the officer’s floor.   

Luz appeared before they could start going down the hall, “Lieb, Bobby, she is asking for you two.”  The normal jovial smile that Luz usually had was missing, even in the darkest of times with the war, he was able to pull something out of thin air to make things better but this, he couldn’t and that was worrying. 

“We got him.” Bull commented from the doorway to where Mac was being held at, “Check on her. She needs you.”  He didn’t want to tell them that she had flinched away from him, and from Johnny and even from O’Keffe who had come out to help her into the house.  That was on Olivia to tell them. 

**

“Oh, God damn it baby.” Joe cursed upon seeing Olivia, he had barely heard what Bull said after they got the guy under control and that Olivia needed him. “It’s not as bad as it looks.’ She defended pushing the ice pack that Doc Peppering insisted she used on her cheek.  

“It is as bad as it looks.” Floyd threw in, “That piece of shit did a lot of damage to her.” He winced when she hit him, “It’s true Liv, you can’t be mad at me for telling him the truth. He is your husband, he needs to know.” 

 “Did he?” Bobby’s voice asked from behind him. Olivia lowered her eyes onto her bloody hands. “Olivia Franklin, look at me.” He ordered as Winters and Nixon came rushing down the hall. 

“Yeah okay, he did.” 

“He did what?” Nixon asked as he pushed past the doctor, Bobby and Joe  to sit on the bed next to Olivia, a hand smoothing back her knotted hair. 

 “He, um, forced himself on me. I was putting up a fight.’ She shrugged off Bull's jacket and showed them the bruises and bumps that she had littered her body, “I think my scissors  may still be stuck in his leg still.”  

“Baby, why didn’t you listen to what Nix and Winters said earlier about what was happening to the girls?”  Her husband was squatting in front of her, his hands rubbing up and down hers trying to get them to relax from the fists. 

Her knuckles were slowly turning white. 

“I was having a freak out moment, and I didn’t think.” She returned, “I had to get those thoughts out of my head.” 

“Olivia!” Joe scowled causing her to shrink back on his bed, she was trying to shrink behind Nixon and Tab, “you should have stayed here where it is safe! We could have protected you!” “Protect me?” Her voice raised as the girls came into the room, George had finally sent for them. Their Captain was hurt and needed them, and it just wasn’t right that they didn’t know. 

Mary, Chuck’s girlfriend, and the lone paratrooper, was standing rooting in the hallway, all of George’s words finally sinking in. Chuck was shot and Olivia was hurt. Her mind was racing with all the possible what if thoughts. Was Olivia sleeping with Chuck too like she had slept with Nixon and Tab? Or like she had with Mary and Lieb? Why were they together?  Joe and Olivia’s raised voices shook her out of her thoughts. 

The skinny man was now standing up fully, yelling, some German, some English and the tiny nurse was standing up on her toes, yelling right back at him. “Come on Joe, let’s go, get some air. Clear your head.” Tab said pushing Joe backwards away from Olivia who was being tugged back by Nixon and into the safety of the girls and him. They all knew that Joe wouldn’t hurt Liv, but emotions were running too high and anything could happen. “Joe, go.” Winters ordered, finally breaking his silence. 

“We have her go.” 

** 

Bobby was shaking from head to toe when Tab and George led them down the hallway, his sweet sister had more of her innocence stolen from her. He knew that she wasn’t any sort of Saint, that she had slept with Bill and Lewis at one point in time and had been with Joe consistently since before they came to England only getting really serious when they woke up hungover and married.

  He felt like he had failed his sister by not being there to help her or save her even. That he had broken that unspoken promise  to her, that he would always be there to save her.  Shaking his hands out trying to release some of his anger, he went storming past Luz and Tab and into the room. 

 “You fucked with my sister?! I should fucking kill you right now!“ Bobby shouted, that pencil thin patience he had been holding onto finally snapping. Bull, who had been holding Mac up by his jacket, dropped him onto his feet. “Looks like lil’ Rebel got a few shots in.”  Bobby did a quick one over and smirked seeing the silver handle of her scissors  sticking out of Mac’s thigh inches from the artery.

 “And she was smart, left him alone to pay for his sins not only against her but the Major  he killed and for Grant.”  Johnny mused, proud of the girl to have the wear with all to do so. 

“Good.” The older Stewart twin smirked before twisting the scissors  in the flesh causing him to cry out and beg him to stop. “Is that what my sister asked? Did she ask you to stop?”

 “Answer him!” Joe finally snapped, “Did my wife beg you to stop? And to let her go?” If the man could have paled anymore, he would have. Out of all the companies in the Airborne infantry, Easy Company was the most infamous. From their former CO, Sobel all the way down to Lily Johns, the youngest nurse all had their stories and now that he was sobering up, he realized how badly he fucked up. 

**

“Livia?” Speirs asked, peeking his head into her bedroom, he had stopped up there before going down to question Mac. “She is okay, now.” Betsy informed, she was pulling a brush through Olivia’s hair. Lewis was pouring more whiskey into the teacup that was sitting in front of her. “She has a bruised jaw, broken ribs and bruises. And he assaulted her.” The dark hair man informed causing an even more thunderous expression to form on Speirs’ face,  “I got this.” Ron crossed the room quickly and tilted Olivia’s chin to make her look at him. “Yeah, I got this. I will send Liebgott up. You girls watch her.” 

“Always.”

“Sparky?” Olivia finally asked, her eyes fixed on his form in the mirror, ‘Is Chuck okay?”  He glanced over his shoulder and nodded his head, “Get cleaned up and rest.” 

**

Lewis was still sitting in Liv’s room, his feet up on the coffee table, his head leaned back as the music played softly from the radio, when Joe came into the room. ‘She is taking a bath,” Lewis said as he put his feet on the ground, “Peppering wants her to rest for a few days. I am sure, Spiers will let you skip training for a few days to be with her.”  “Thank you.” He was already pulling his uniform shirts out of his pants to go in and take care of her. “Sure.” Nixon mused, “we are just down the hall if she needs anything.” He wasn’t going to lecture him or anything not at this point and time, but before they shipped out again, he would. 

“Joe?” Her voice called softly from within the bathroom, “Is that you?” “Yeah baby, its me.” He returned as he finished stripping out of his uniform and going into the bathroom. “I am sorry.” She said as he joined her in the tub. “I am too, I was so scared that you had been ripped from me.”  He pressed his lips against the side of her head. “I don’t think it would have been just me that you would have lost.” His hand froze from where it was grabbing the washcloth. “Are you? Are you having my baby?” Gently he twisted her around to face him. 

“I think so.” 

[nochi-quinn]

legend of vox machina watch party episodes 4-6: he's just sleeping

EPISODE FOUR

I'm late bc I was watching anime and playing pokemon. y'know, like an adult.

I don't know how long the episode has had subtitles but I enjoy them

big gworl

"I DON'T LIKE IT" "I love it"

raven queen: the fuck you say to me

fran drescher raven queen

(this is hilarious to me specifically for reasons no one understands)

I was gonna say something about silhouettes

"if scanlan started wearing closed shirts - " "I would be so confused"

"TRINKET DOESN'T COUNT"

"I would say grog" "WHAT"

matt's gonna tell this story if it takes another eight years

"MONSTER ON THE TV" "don't assume - " "I SAW TENTACLES, I KNOW"

"tentacles can also be your friend"

ONLOOKER

this is hilarious now that beholders are under creative commons

"where are your knees? are your ankles your new knees?!"

"sound more ankle-breaky"

"don't you hate it when you're in the middle of a fight and you're just dissociating"

"why is he punching him in the helmet?!"

mala: that baby has more sense than vax

I love that sam and travis are always in the back going "YOU WILL APPRECIATE THE CREW"

I think I'm behind on account of being late, this is the price I pay for watching anime and playing pokemon

"I watched this with my kids and they were both super grossed out - so success"

everybody just works around will now

bill frito can do anything

POKEBEAR

I believe travis could reach that pitch

"I invented walking away"

I am forever going to be trying to figure out what nonsense choir soundtracks are singing

"reliving - HA"

"it was raven feathers"

"laura can't lose her character so I'll lose mine" liam.

"have a guest on the show? main character dies. right, robbie?"

oh I hate that one on the end

"onlooker(?)" mala: official spelling

they're just gonna make that noise for the rest of the night

"he's so cute - sorry - "

"that jump scare at the end - why" "that's why"

I can't believe travis willingham is targeting me personally

that's actually. I also had not considered that critical role is technically post-apocalyptic

EPISODE FIVE

"it's my child!" "this one lives, that can't be right"

"you can't be a baby, you're a grown-ass woman"

give her a raise

"we thank you for your tears"

"can't even pick up sticks right"

"I wish we had the courage to do an overhead" have the animators not suffered enough

"it's probably okay. don't worry about it."

I think I say this every time but I love when they just go silent bc they are also watching the episode

"that's NOT how you romance someone"

"keyleth will remember that"

aimee!

"thank you for using the body silhouette I sent you"

I FORGOT HE HAD BLACK POWDER IN HIS POCKETS

PANTSLURA

"marisha? self-doubt? no!"

critrolestats what level were they

flamesneks

I didn't know that until someone pointed it out on twitter

I'm crying AGAIN dammit marisha ray

the One Woman Wail

"you're a giant fire chicken lady man!"

"seems a little OP"

that pestle IS upside down, I'm pretty sure

"dad likes vax bc they have the same haircut"

robbie didn't know about the lesbians

this time delay is killing me

"so many youtube videos" "just fucked up your algorithm"

"is that a thermal detonator" after chetney's boat robbie only knows how to think in bombs

"I was singing about meeting a girl in line for the shitter"

"you wouldn't put the nursery in the volcano??"

animatic!

"ANIMORPHS!"

oh I love lil sketchy keyleth

"is that a cloaca?"

"DON'T LOOK IT UP"

LAVA SNEK

"maybe these are IMPOSTERS" stares in speaker assum

"it's victor"

"I'll call bryan and michael and let them know" I have only called them bryke for so long

"the voice of korra was in the Lesbians Aren't Dead episode"

the red gay and the blue gay

"tell me I'm wrong!" "I can't!"

"I know a lot about anime gays you guys"

speaking of anime gays, robbie daymond

(akechi. the joke is akechi.)

"hesitant"

none of us are over keyleth but liam o'brien is definitely not over keyleth

"kash pushing in on his girl - " "that's the worst part"

"pissjets" brb changing my twitter name

EPISODE SIX

I'll error your joining watch party

"I'm sure it's fine"

"classic comedy duo"

I still enjoy grog's expressions so much here

"my ten-year-old son loved that joke"

this is me explaining the plot to my roommate

"scanlan is the only one that gets to go full anime" scanlan just is anime

"fucking DORK" robbie understands percy

"she does get hypothermia tho"

"a hoe never gets cold" "that is the episode title"

liam's running "I peed a little bit" is finally coming full-circle

"that's how you guys look at me all the time" at least matt does for sure

FISH TACOS

grog is barely smart enough to speak at all, he can't manage telepathy

the fire plane taught her how to cuss

PORKY PIG

I love robbie's genuine reactions

the whole back row airdrumming

"he's playing the instruments" "no he is NOT"

"that's MY HUSBAND"

one unit of sphynx

"a shit spell?" that's scanlan's thing

"you're giving me notes NOW?"

kaiju fight KAIJU FIGHT

~~anime~~

"I don't like this dragon, he's a dickhead"

"I don't care about his backstory"

"he's fine, robbie" "he's gonna go live on a farm upstate? where he gets all the sphynx food he wants?"

"sphynxes live forever even if they look like they died"

that knee slide was v cool tho

honestly I had the same thought as mica

mica refuses to pronounce that name now (she's valid)

"not that long, right?" "you don't know"

marisha what is that face. are we getting an art book. I want an art book.

FRIENDSHIP POND

"you love inflicting pain" "I FUCKIN LOVE IT"

mala: Travis: i have killed and i will kill again

"it's got a lot of slap bass in it"

"he's a transformer"

you leave the shit behind in people's beds and move on

(I'm still mad at him for that)

craven edge just using grog as a meat puppet

"it all comes back to the last of us" correct

"I was such an innocent smol bean"

"I'm a purple g - I'M WEARING PURPLE"

someone draw art of alicia's hedgehog familiar

sevonth

yaaaaaay troy bakerrrrr (said in the most deflating-balloon voice possible)

troy baker is a very good actor who is up his own ass as much as it is possible for a human being to be and still draw breath

[stephstars08]

Take Care ~ Chapter 1

Joe Burrow x Reader

Warnings: Adult Language, Toxic Relationship, Angst, Verbal Abuse, Anxiety, and Insecurities

Characters: Y/N Hubbard, Sidney Blossom (OC), Joe Burrow, Sam Hubbard, and Tyler Adams (OC)

Author’s Note: Before I say anything I just want to thank everyone for being so patient with me! The reason why I had to take a step back from posting is because I was a head coach for softball and that took up a lot of time and was very stressful so thank you for being patient! I am still coaching right now but I’m an assistant so I do have a lot more time on my hands. I apologize that the first chapter is short but don’t worry as the book goes on the chapters will be getting longer. Anyways it feels great to be posting again, sorry if there is any mistakes! I don’t know how many people read the Author’s Note so if you are reading this thank you for the support and I hope you enjoy the first chapter!

Word Count: 1,710

Y/N was currently working another long day. Y/N works as a waitress at a diner in Cincinnati. The diner isn’t too far from the apartment she lives in. Yes, she’s not working her dream job at the moment but any time she get’s she fills out any applications she finds.

She doesn’t make a lot of money with this job which does hold her down sometimes when it comes to traveling or going out with friends or family. Her parents and big brother offer her money all the time, but she declines their offers.

She just turned twenty-five, she’s a grown woman and doesn’t want to borrow any money from her parents or brother.

“Hey Y/N” She heard her best friend/co-worker say behind her. “Hey Sidney.” Y/N said as she continued to press buttons on cash register.

Y/N was working on the bill for her last serving table of the day which she couldn’t be happier about.

“What are doing after you finish your last table?” Sidney asked her in a curious tone. Sidney just got done serving her last table as well. “I have to pick my brother up from the practice facility since his car is in the shop this week.” Y/N answered as she hit the button to print out the receipt.

“Why?” She asked looking over at Sidney. “I was just curious.” Sidney told her with a shrug.

“What does Tyler think about you picking your brother up?” Sidney asked as she folded her arms over her chest. “I don’t know.” Y/N answered with a sigh as she took the receipt out of the small printer. “I told him last night, but I don’t think he was listening.” She added as she put the receipt on a mental tray.

“Typical.” Sidney let out a mumble.

“Just make sure you don’t talk to another football player because you know how he get’s jealous.” Sidney warned her. Y/N just gave her a nod and made her way to the table she was serving.

Sidney isn’t the biggest fan of Tyler. Actually, everyone Y/N knows isn’t the biggest fan of Tyler.

They all know Y/N deserves to be with someone way better than Tyler.

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N was sitting outside in her car in front of the Cincinnati Bengals practice facility for her older brother. As she sat in her car, she kept bouncing her one leg up and down because she really had to use the bathroom. She really didn’t want to go inside but she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it because she didn’t know how long her brother would be, so she turned her car off and got out.

She quickly made way inside. She knew where the bathrooms were since she’s been inside the practice facility a few times. After she finished her business, she walked hoping her brother wasn’t outside wondering where she is. When she turned a corner, she accidentally bumped into someone.

“Oh, sorry.” Y/N heard a familiar voice she hasn’t heard in a while. When she saw who she bumped into her heart sped up. “Joe.” Y/N said in a surprised tone.

“Y/N, holy shit! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bump into you.” Joe told her very surprised to see her.

He couldn’t believe it was her. Joe went to Ohio State University with her and her brother.

“It’s okay Joe. We both weren’t watching where we were going.” Y/N told him in a reassuring tone. “It’s been a while. You look amazing.” Joe told her with a smile. “Thank you. You look amazing too.” Y/N complimented him back as she returned the smile.

“Sam told me you just moved back here with your boyfriend.” Joe told her. “Yeah, he’s from Cleveland and I finally convinced him to move with me here since I wanted to be closer to my family. His family now lives in Chicago and… I’m babbling aren’t I.” Y/N explained to him as she put one of her hands on her head when she realized she is telling him way more than she intended to tell.

“Hey it’s okay.” Joe told her. “It’s good to have you back here.” He added with a laugh.

“Well look what we got here.” They heard someone say.

When they looked over, they saw Y/N’s older brother Sam. Joe is the quarterback of the Bengals and Sam is a defensive end. Sam is a year older than Joe and Y/N.

“We got a little reunion going on here.” Sam said with a smile as he wrapped an arm around Y/N which made her groan in disgust. “Get your sweaty ass off me.” Y/N snapped as she lightly shoved Sam off her.

“Yep, this is still how she treats me.” Sam told Joe which made her roll her eyes and Joe laugh. “Well, it’s good to see that you two still bicker.” Joe said with a laugh.

Yes, Y/N and Sam bicker like all brother and sisters do but they do have a very close relationship.

“It’s really great to see you, Joe. Sam, we got to get going.” Y/N said to the boys. Sam let out a small sigh since he knew why they had to leave right away. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, Joe.” Sam said Sam said as he gave Joe a fist bump. “See you tomorrow. It was great seeing you too Y/N” Joe said as he returned the fist bump.

As much as Y/N wanted to stay and catch up with Joe she didn’t want to get an angry phone call from her boyfriend wondering where the fuck she is.

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N pulled her car into Sam’s driveway. “Thanks again for the ride sis.” Sam said as he looked over at her. “It’s no problem bro.” Y/N said looking back at him.

“How is, you know?” Sam asked her with some concern in his tone. “Sam, please I’m really not in the mood to be talking about you know what.” Y/N told him as she looked away from her brother’s concern gaze.

“Okay, I just want you to know that I have an extra room here.” Sam told her dropping the topic right away. That isn’t the first time Sam has told her that and she knows that it isn’t going to be the last.

Y/N just stayed silent as she just stared at her steering wheel. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Sam told her as he unbuckled his seat belt. “Love you.” Y/N told him in a soft tone. “Love you too.” Sam told her and got out of the car.

He got his bag out from the backseat and shut the door. He gave her a wave which she returned. Once Sam was inside his house Y/N backed her car out of the driveway and started her drive to the apartment she shares with her boyfriend.

As she drove, she tried not to think about what Sam told her, but his words just kept repeating themselves in her head.

When she got to the apartment complex she sighed when she saw Tyler was already home from work. He’s a mechanic which also doesn’t pay much but he does get paid more than her but not by much.

She parked her vehicle next to Tyler’s car and turned the car off. She grabbed her purse from the backseat and got out of the car.

She took a deep breath to prepare herself for Tyler’s banter.

She locked her car up and made her way inside the apartment building. She walked up the steps to her apartment door already to get scolded.

When she walked into the tiny apartment to see Tyler sitting in his comfy chair watching TV. She thinks sometimes that he lives in that stupid chair. He looked at her with an annoyed glare which was expected.

“I was with my brother.” Y/N told him before Tyler could ask her where she has been. “Why?” Tyler hissed as he watched her put her purse on the hanger by the door. “I told you last night that he needs a ride home from the facility everyday this week because his truck is getting fixed.” Y/N told him in frustration as she made her way into the small kitchen to start cooking their dinner.

Let’s just say she does everything in the apartment.

“Well maybe if you didn’t fucking mumble all the time, I would’ve heard you.” Tyler snapped at her as he put his attention back onto the television.

It took everything in Y/N to not snap back but she did it.

She wasn’t in the mood for another snapping match between them. Her relationship with Tyler wasn’t always like this. Tyler and her met at Ohio State University their junior year.

Their first two years together was amazing. They were like any other loving couple, but things changed when they graduated, and things came out the window.

After graduating Y/N agreed to move to Cleveland so Tyler could be close to his parents. After moving there Tyler found out about Y/N’s former crush he became very obsessive and jealous.

But the real hit was when his parents moved to Chicago since his father got a good job and Y/N convinced him to move to Cincinnati since there was nothing in Cleveland for him.

Tyler has been insecure about himself which makes him take it out on her. He always tells her that he’s too good for her. Anytime Tyler is feeling down on himself he puts her down too by pointing out all her flaws. She never points him out on it because sadly she believes the insults, he throws at her.

This is exactly why Sam tells her he has an extra room at his house for her. Her parents, Sam, and Sidney always tell her to break it off with Tyler because of how terrible he treats her. She always tells them that she stays with him because she loves him, but they tell her it isn’t true love it’s toxic love.

Y/N kept her mouth shut the rest of the night. What was the point of saying anything to Tyler since everything that comes out her mouth is a fucking mumble? That’s what she thought at least.

[we-fancy-you]

Argument

Hello dear reader! This will the first drabble that I have posted. Hope you enjoy! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sfw, angst to fluff Character: timeskip!Miya Osamu -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Stay away from me!” You yelled at him jerking your arm away from his hold and giving him the look. You have been like this for the last two days. Ignoring him.

“Are you that immature?! Walking away from me! Can’t talk it out like the adult you pretend to be!” He snapped back. “Oh yeah, I am so immature that I am going to complain about it to your mother.” “Leave my mother out of this!” “Oh oh oh, what are you going to do about it Miya, cuss me! Hit me! Go to your stupid kitchen and bake or something! Leave me alone since that is all you do!”

You where both so upset with each other. filthy words left both your mouths, words that got too far. But you couldn’t help it. It was his fault. If he just listens for once. This wouldn’t have happend. You always listen to him. Even with the most annoying requests things that are way out of you comfort zone. But when you ask him it is always: ‘No babe, I am tired.’ ‘Sorry hon I can’t. Have a meeting.’

Why couldn’t he accompany you to one of your work events. If the event was not important, you wouldn’t have asked. But it grows kind of tiring to attend events alone, and telling your colleagues and clients that your boyfriend is too busy to accompany you to the event.

Walking to the door he yelled again. “Don’t you dare walk out of that door!” “Come and stop me! Jerk!“ You opened the door but before you could set one foot over the doorstep. He tugged you back in and held both of your wrists tightly.

“LET ME GO.” “Cool down first!” You tried to get yourself loose from his grip, but you couldn’t. This big jerk, was unfortunately built with a lot of muscles you could not compare with. “Don’t use your strength on me!” He dragged you to the couch and sat you down. “Now calm down will you. We need to talk.” “There is nothing to talk about!” “Then stop this! Why are you so upset.” You scoffed, he still doesn’t get it! “I get it. You, mister famous, who has a successful business is known by the whole country. Surrounded by some of the most famous people in the world. Does not give a fuck about his uninteresting girlfriend who works a normal nine to five job. Who earns just enough money to pay off the water bills. And is known by no one. Well guess what! This stupid event. That you don’t want to attend so bad is planned by me! I put so much heart and effort in it. And you don’t care!” You were panting. You stood up and walked to your shared bedroom. He didn’t follow you. Nor did he say anything. Closing the door behind you, walked to you closet door. Ignoring the tears that pricked you eyes. ‘Don’t cry! Don’t cry!’

You sat down your bed. Clearing your thoughts. And deciding what to do.

Not once has Osamu attended one of your work parties of events. Sometimes you attended it alone other times you attended it with one of you colleagues. But you can’t show up alone this time. It is too embarrassing. How can the host of the party attend alone. So you decided to ask your brother in law. He holds great influence in the marketing industry as well.

While grabbing the clothes that you chose for the event. You took a hold of your phone and called the well know volleyball player, Miya Atsumu, twin brother of your boyfriend.

“Heyy Atsumu-san. How are you?” “I am great thank you for asking, how are you doing?” “I am good, thank you. I had a question. Are you free tonight? I have a charity event this evening, and I really can’t go alone, could you please attend this once with me.” “Uhm yeah sure, I figure that Osamu is not available.” “Yes. He is. Busy.” “Where, when and what to wear?” “Thank you, you are a lifesaver. I will text you the address. Normal pantalons and a blouse is fine, nothing to flashy tho.” “Alright I will be there. See you then.”

“Thank you again for doing this. It means a lot.” “How can I let my sister-in-law go alone.” “Well your brother didn’t really have a problem with doing that.”

The evening went nice, there were are a lot of hello’s, fake smiling and annoying co-workers. “I thank you all guys for attending this lovely evening, it was such a pleasure to have a conversation with each and one of you, about the future of our company. Thank you”

After the ending speech, the hall began to pour out. “Time to leave?” “Yeah, it is getting late. Sorry for keeping you here so long. Your girlfriend must be upset.” “Ouch. I am single Y/N. Don’t rub it in.” He looked ‘hurt’ in an annoying way.

“Owh well, that is a surprise. I can introduce you to someone if you want?” “My pleasure.” “Thank you again for being here, I am so grateful. If you ever need something just call, please.” “Thank you for the reassurance. Good night.” “Good night.”

He is a good guy, not your type of person. But he really is nice. You watched him drive away in his jeep. And stepped in yours. Your basic office worker car. A Kia picanto. “What to do now. Should I go home?” Going back home to Osamu was something that you did not want to deal with, but it it is 00:30am. There is not much to do outside. “Let’s go for a small ride and then go home. And let’s get take out.”

You started the engine when your phone rang. It was Osamu.

“Hello?” “Hey hun. Where are you?” “I just finished the charity. I am still hungry so I am about to get McDonalds. You want some?”   “No thanks. Well please make it quick. Is someone with you?” “Uhm no, Atsumu-san went back a few minutes ago and so did the rest of my colleges.” “Atsumu? What was my brother doing there?” “He went as my partner for the event.” “….” The other side of the line fell silent. “Hello?” “Euh yeah, sorry. Just get home safe.” And he hang up. ‘The hell?’ Whats wrong with him. Ordering your food and going back to the parking lot in your apartment complex. You ate in the car. And walked back to your house.

It was already 1:15 am. “I am home.” He must have already gone to bed you thought. But the kitchen light was still on. “Osamu? Are you still awake?” “Yes. Y/N we need to talk.” Oh no. To be honest, you knew this was going to happen, but still took you by surprise. “Yeah sure, about what.” “About us. About what happed today and two days ago.” “I have nothing more to say about it. You clearly don’t care about my work.” “Honey, that’s not true at all, and I am sorry if you got it that way. I love you and I will always support you.” He came forward to wrap his arms around you. You didn’t protest. You missed it. “Then why didn’t you want to come with me to the charity. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have asked your brother.” “I am sorry it must have been awful being with him.” “No he did great. I wanted to be there with you. It was important to me.” “I am sorry.” He planted a kiss on your forehead. “I didn’t want to come, because I don’t want to embarrass you. Your events are always attended by highly privileged people. I don’t want to be the reason you can’t get the proposal.” You were dumbfounded. The owner of a two Michelin star restaurant. Is scared of going to a meeting. “You liar. How could such a stupid meeting bother you in the slightest.” “Because of you. You are the most precious thing I have in my life. You can’t tell that you wouldn’t be upset if you did not get the proposal that was offered to you because of me.” You were silent. You never knew that he was this insecure about this. “I would never be upset. It is not like you would have done it on purpose.” “But I can’t live with myself if it have happened. Even if it didn’t matter to you. It would really much to me.”   “So what now. Do you want to break up with me.” You looked up. Eyes pricked with tears and hugged him back. “No! I will never. Your the love of my life. The woman who I want to have children with. We will never be apart from each other.” You blushed and were so happy that he thought this way. You buried your head in his chest, and hugged him tighter. He did as well. Eyes red and a bit puffy you looked up again. “Prove it. How do I know you are telling the truth.” He sighed. You laughed a bit. Teasing is always something that you have done. Closing your eyes and puckering your lips. You expected a kiss. But you were waiting a bit too long for that. Opening one eye you looked and saw you boyfriend on one knee in front of you.

“What are yo-“ “Y/N L/N, I want to stay by your side forever. I love you so much. This is not how I imagined it to happen, but I guess there is no other way. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me.” He looked so in love and so determined. “I know I am lacking in many points, bu-“ “NO” “Y/n…” “You are the best man I have met.” You jumped on him. “Don’t ever say your lacking.” “So you want to marry me?” “Oh you are stuck with me for the rest of your life.” You laughed, finally the tears staining your cheeks. He presses his lips on yours. Holding each other just like that. Steady and loving. When you parted again looking each other loving in the eyes.

“I love you.” “ I love you too.”

[writing-yj]

Date Night with Dick Grayson/Nightwing Headcannons

Anon: Date Night with Nightwing headcanons?? 🤔 -Lt. 🎀

A/n: Bruh it’s probably been over a year since I last posted content, I am so sorry, fingers crossed I haven’t gotten rusty. Adult life (primarily college, my job, etc.) has had a solid grip ever since I graduated. Anywho, I hope you like it, my Lieutenant Bow! Apologies if this isn’t very long and for any typos, I am absolutely blazed right now.

This man knows what he’s doing when it comes to date nights. Surely we are all aware that Dick is experienced with such matters, and one of the smoothest men you could come across.

You are his woman, his other half! Dick is gonna spoil you rotten and make sure you’re happy to the best of his ability.

-At first, it took a while to split his time between you, his job, and his hero life in a way that made you both happy. Up until that happened, the lack of balanced time management caused a small handful of fights.

A date night with Nightwing always depends on what the occasion/reason is, it’s purely circumstantial 

Like, if he has the time, he’ll set up a super romantic dinner in y’all’s apartment or a romantic location elsewhere

-Such locations include fancy restaurants that Bruce recommends (usually takes a couple attempts for him to provide options that are within your budget), a picnic, a drive-in movie theatre, and so on.

-A romantic dinner at home consists of lit candles on the dinner table, beautiful fresh flowers in a vase, sometimes a tasteful amount of rose petals scattered on the bed table, all topped off with your favorite meal and dessert.

-But Dick avoids cooking the food himself. By no means is he an absolutely terrible cook, but what is terrible is his luck at successfully cooking your favorite dishes. The reason is beyond him. It’s always a toss up. Will he make it beyond perfectly? Will he almost burn down the building? Dick never knows until he’s done, so he decided to have Alfred visit and help him when possible.

-Dick thinks he’s being sneaky and that you don’t know Alfred takes over the cooking almost completely helps out, but you found out soon after it started,,, not that you’d tell him, of course; it’s cute when he thinks he has proficiency in stealth.

If he has less time to organize a date, he’ll take you up onto a rooftop as Nightwing to eat food or stargaze there, or sit with you in your car in a fast food restaurant parking lot at the very late hours of the night, munching on fast food, radio on, and holding hands.

-It’s pretty common for you two to playfully bicker over what genre of music to put on the radio

-There was one time when a thug knocked on your window with a gun in his hand and attempted to steal your car. Obviously, that attempt did not end well for him. No one fives with dates Dick goes on with you, and he lives by that.

-Moving to the backseat is often on the agenda ;)

There are times when you surprise Dick with a date instead of him organizing one, and of course you cover the bill for the date just as often as he does, but he prefers to be the one taking you out on a date night.

-This is likely because of the stigma/society’s standards of date etiquette and who pays/organizes what, but it also circles back to how he likes spoiling you.

The most common date you set up for him is when he has a bad day at work or a bad mission. It’ll be a nice, cozy movie night at home on the couch or in a pillow/couch cushion fort, expertly built by you with your own hands and two brain cells.

-That kind of date is Dick’s favorite. He doesn’t expect you to take him out on extravagant dates like he does his best to do, and the fact that you do it to comfort him and help him after an awful day means the world to him. Especially when you make a pillow fort for him.

-But it took some YouTube tutorials and WikiHow articles for your first few attempts.

Overall, you can expect for any date night with Dick Grayson to be the ideal date night.

[thethiefandtheairbender]

My homie please don't tell me you tried to equivalate the real life debate and seriousness bof the don't say gay bill to your anti vs. proship bs

Hi, out queer, ace, and trans person here! I also have an honours degree in the study & history of how fiction can influence reality. Let me take you for a walk (and I'll make sure it's short or else you'll pull the "you think I'm reading all that?") I also already know, thanks to looking at your blog, that you’ve decided I - a sex repulsed, ace adult in a relationship with another adult - am a pedophile, so thanks for bringing back the years of harassment I experienced when I was a literal minor but was unwilling to post my age online bc u know, I was a minor who wanted to keep my privacy a mind-whopping... 2.5 years ago. But clearly I’m decrepit and out of touch now. Never change, tumblr.

A lot of current American politics, including the Don't Say Gay bill (and previously the Hayes Code) was derived from puritanical Victorian era leanings and Calvinistic conservative Christianity. This includes: gayness as an identity > an act (trial of Oscar Wilde), idealization of motherhood, and the moral panic surrounding the 'degradation' of the English language that 18-19th century Grammarians were always concerned with (hi Samuel Johnson).

Another thing grammarians and writers have been concerned with since before is what is Okay to be portrayed in art. Plato's The Republic thinks that art is immoral because it may give people unrealistic or unsafe ideas because people are 'unable' to distinguish fiction from reality. He later retracted this, although Aristotle's Poetics was a text where Aristotle disagreed with Plato's prior established opinion.

Re: the past 3000+ years of literary discourse - those who try to restrict the radical aspects of art lose the argument every time, and start it back up 30 years later.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that art has always been very political, as is most things. Fandom, as a pop-junkie transformative spiel, has also been deeply political, particularly for marginalized people.

Fandom nowadays is full of people who believe that, in order to be really sorry about something, someone has to publicly repent per whatever moral standard has been decided to else the congregation - I mean twitter - will publicly shame them for their sin.

Fandom is entrenched in cultural Christianity and the conservative mindsets that come with it. Aphobia in fandom was rampant from 2014-2017; truscum and tucute discourse as well; how prevalent TERF rhetoric can be (women are inherently good, attraction to men is shameful, etc). I've seen all of these things in fandom. All hinge an idea on being able to decode a person's intent (somehow), the rising attachment of morality to genres of entertainment (antis), and how many antis I've seen that are TERFs or Aphobes or guzzling down that rhetoric without even realizing.

Terfs and the Conservative far-right have a long history of working together. Both frame concerns of gay people as pedophiles, being anti sex work (because sex is nasty and a sin), that we must Protect the Children who cannot monitor or make any decisions for themselves at any age. The anti vs pro ship dynamic online is a microism of larger public discussions regarding purity culture - and that includes how queerness is overly sexualized, how queer sex is seen as especially dirty, the "should kink be at pride?" discourse, and issues with respectability politics.

Antis who say we have to harass people to control what exists in fandom to "protect minors" on a moral basis are ideologically adjacent to parents who decry earlier Sex Education for children (which, every time it's implemented, is shown to decrease the amount of abuse children face, not further it). A quick scroll through your blog tells me you're willing to generalize hundreds of people's personal history with CSA because you don't think survivors can 1) vehemently disagree with you or 2) demand disclosure of their personal history to exist online void of that harassment.

Aka to take some tags to the forefront: #like the schools don't want to talk about queerness and are banning books so kids don't get Ideas#and people also don't want 'problematic' fiction in fandom in case kids get Ideas or can't use critical thinking skills#it's not a hard leap to make

It sounds like you're the one who has a problem with reading comprehension and building connections between different kinds of discourse, not me. It's almost like teenagers (queer or otherwise) raised in conservative or culturally Christian homes are more susceptible to puritanical rhetoric, or something... 🤔 (I could also get into just how American the current fandom anti vs pro conflict is, but I think this is long enough, don't you?)

A final note from this article:

Beyond betraying simple art illiteracy, though, these intensely personal, emotional complaints and appeals to public safety have a clear antecedent: religious and conservative opposition to “obscenity.” The centering of individual values and pain, the assumption that a universal moral standard exists which should guide all public or quasi-public art and behavior, and the belief that art can do material harm to both people and culture as a whole unite the two at first apparently disparate groups of angry indie gamers and religious fundamentalists.

The deployment of victimhood as an unimpeachable defense is an old tactic frequently used by hate groups like One Million Moms and its parent organization, the American Family Association, whose rallying cry “think of the children” now echoes through everything from intra-community Gay Pride discourse to the drearily predictable “there’s too much sex on TV” tweets that seem to sweep across the platform on a weekly basis.

[starryeyedrogue]

mental health update

hey everyone. this’ll inevitably be a long one, so feel free to skip. TLDR: hiatus; mental health update (as mentioned). 

tw: depression, anxiety, dark thoughts.

like I said above, this’ll be a long one, sorry. this spring has been a hard one. there’s no real reason why, but it has. I don’t have a job. I’m not going to school. my home life is fine, normal. even still, I can’t get out of this hole. I’ve always known I have depression, since probably 4th grade, but it’s never taken physical form. I’ve skipped church/events for weeks thinking I had covid or some other sickness, but after some research and lack of typical illness symptoms, I realized it was my depression. my body aches constantly. headaches and migraines are constantly around the corner. I haven’t slept well in weeks, months. my comfort activities (gaming, D&D, writing, painting/drawing, cooking/baking, music) don’t do anything anymore. it’s hard to get out of bed most mornings, though I pass it off as the overly warm or cold temperature and the fact that I’m not a morning person. my mom was the one who noticed these things first; she’s been where I am, so she knew the signs. I don’t know how I didn’t notice sooner; it’s my own mind and body. I keep having dark thoughts, too. not of suicide, I would never, but the typical depression things of “I shouldn’t have been born” or good old “everyone secretly hates me. that’s why I don’t get responses. that’s why no one’s noticed. no one cares, just stop talking already and leave them alone.” I don’t do self harm, either, but my habit of anxiously picking the skin on my fingers is slowly progressing into constantly having raw skin and blood on my hands. I try to stop, but I keep zoning out (ADHD) and find myself with stinging thumbs. I know full well I need to get over myself. I’m a grown adult. I don’t have “real” responsibilities like bills, a job, or schooling, and I don’t have a significant other to worry about. I worry about my friends and family, of course - guilt of not reaching out or doing better is killing me - but my habit of checking on my SO to make sure they’re not cheating on me or somehow hurting themselves at work isn’t there. 

constant pressure from family is eating away at me. I know I need a job. I know I need to do something with my life. but I can’t. even remembering to mask, eat, drink, and take care of myself in general is painfully hard. I’m in the process of “repairing my mask” and looking for a job that suits me, but it’s hard to do when even my favorite things don’t spark passion and joy in me. 

I posted a quick message on facebook a few days ago asking if anyone wanted to join a oneshot D&D game. all I asked for was that no one makes fun of my religion, Christianity. my post was taken down over “bad religion and agendaposting” (not at all my intentions), and I got hundreds of hate comments in minutes. I think that’s what made me realize how bad it is, my depression I mean. I cried for two nights straight, barely managing to keep my mask up around others. it’s stupid, but I can’t mask anymore. it’s just gone. tears keep coming, even if there’s no good reason. I don’t want to tell my closest friends and family members because I don’t want to burden them with this. I know they’ll see it, but still. I’m sorry. 

I’ll still be doing D&D every week, since talking to my ridiculously feral best friends helps a lot and writing campaigns distracts me for a bit, but I won’t be posting much, if any. I’ll queue enough for the week and respond to my asks & tags, but unless I get more I won’t really be here. I’ll be back before next week I’m sure, or I’ll probably post a few small things here and there to distract myself (seems to be the larger amount = how bad I feel when I rb a lot, which makes no sense. I’ll mostly be offline thought). I’m only posting this so no one worries; I’ve seen people go MIA on here and I’ve felt that worry and fear that something’s happened. it’s nothing against any of you, I just need time. that said, if anyone comes forward needing advice or help of any kind, I’ll still do what I can. I’ll always be here for all of you, no context or previous friendship/conversations needed. if anyone has any tips to deal with this or the dumb things that seem to help me with this (i.e. dumb jokes, anything pippin related, dog/pet pics, plants/woodsy pics, recipes, etc), please share. please let me know. nothing I’m doing is working. thank you in advance <3

[cupofteaguk]

on the road (to you)

summary: as a young adult, one of the strangest revelations is the discovery that peers of yours from past fragile college years are getting married. so imagine your shock and excitement upon receiving a wedding invitation. there are, however, two problems: (1) you are a poor early-20s recently employed adult just beginning to adjust to your 401k plan, and (2) the only available ride to the wedding comes in the form of Jeon Jungkook—friend of a friend, attendee to that aforementioned wedding, and your old college crush. 

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

genre: roadtrip au, strangers to lovers au | fluff/angst 

warnings: recreational alcoholic consumption, definitely not an accurate representation of how a road trip might actually be, mentions of anxiety + insecurities, very minor book reference to: The Night Circus, equally minor movie references to: Mission Impossible and The Princess Bride because I have a problem, light makeout sessions, talks of DTR (define the relationship), some angst but this is me so there’s a happy ending. 

word count: 27k 

a/n: a birthday present for the one and only Jeon Jungkook, whom I love and respect so much and only wish the bestest of days for. Partly inspired by Taylor Swift’s song “invisible string” +  a love letter of sorts to my own old high school crush for whom my memory of him helped build Jungkook’s character. This also turned out way longer than I ever wanted it to be lol oops! 

update: i was actually able to do a writer’s audio tag on this fic!!! check it out if you want to hear about the behind the scenes process that went into writing this fic <3 

.

When you land a job in the months following your college graduation, you feel as if you are on top of the world. How could you not? After all, the norm that follows post-college is one of disappointment and constant hunts online to find job openings for any position that could suit your background and previous work experiences. It’s a fear that plagues lots of your friends, both those in college and out. It’s the same paranoia you had in the months leading up to graduation and the few months after graduation—in which your days were measured by the boxes you packed to move out of your tiny college apartment and into an equally tiny new apartment you currently share with an old roommate of yours, as well as the days you spent hunched over your computer and scrolling through job postings. 

You had gone through more than a handful of cover letters, resume submissions, and in person interviews before finally landing the job you currently have and have been working under for a month now. 

Throughout the course of the recent month, you’ve continued to secure certain moments that solidify the confidence that you’re finally becoming an adult. Sure, a barely functioning adult who mostly still uses the microwave to heat up your frozen Mac and Cheese—but an adult nonetheless. From learning how to pay your bills online, to realizing that grocery shopping was something you needed to make a conscious effort to do, along with going to and from your nine to five job with your coffee order in hand. 

All of those things have helped you feel like you were, perhaps, finally getting your life together. 

And then you receive the invitation in the mailbox. 

It happens when you unlock your box on a bright March morning, taking out the usual round of bills and fashion magazines until your fingers lock around an envelope bigger than the normal letter size. It’s much sturdier too. 

You don’t know what to think of the letter, until you bring the damn thing back into your apartment and rip the opening. The mere sight of the content inside makes you feel like the hand of life has just taken your figurine and moved you back a good twenty squares. 

The post in your hand reads: 

WITH GREAT JOY, IRENE AND SEOKJIN REQUEST THE HONOR OF YOUR PRESENCE FOR THEIR WEDDING CELEBRATION ON THE DAY OF MAY 25TH. COCKTAILS, DINNER, AND DANCING TO FOLLOW. 

There’s a date at the bottom of the invitation. As you line the date up with your calendar, you realize that you have a week to RSVP to the event. 

You toss the envelope onto the counter in the kitchen just to glare at the cardstock, maybe to convince yourself this is a dream or at least convince yourself that it’s normal for your friend from college to be getting married even when you have yet to land a successful relationship of your own. 

You aren’t as close with Irene as you used to be, but the memory of your friendship is still at the forefront of your mind. The pair of you met during your final year of university, when you were assigned to work together for one of your many senior projects and immediately clicked. The months you spent in her apartment and vice versa pulling out all-nighters in desperate attempts to finish your project definitely earns you an invitation. At the very least, you are happy to see that Irene: bright and smart and funny, is getting married. 

Not only that, but getting married to Seokjin. He’s a year older than you and Irene, but those two met when he was still enrolled and have been inseparable ever since. You don’t know relationships that well, but you know them enough to recognize that Seokjin and Irene were what everyone called the ‘endgame’. In truth, it was only a matter of time before you were to receive one of these from them. 

But did she really have to one-up you like this? Not that it’s a competition. However, it does leave a funny feeling to see someone the same age as you display a much more put together handle on life. You groan at the thought.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Karly asks. 

You turn to your roommate. She’s seated at the kitchen table, books out and everywhere as she looks over at you. Karly: fellow alumni, graduated from her undergrad program early to go straight into pursuing her master’s degree. She’s a busy bee. You wave the envelope. “Irene is getting married.” 

Her eyes widen. “Ah shit, no way?” She takes the paper that you offer to her and looks over the invitation. “Damn, I knew it was only a matter of time before we started getting this stuff, but to actually see it happening…” 

You groan. “I know right!” You take the cardstock back from your friend. “It’s only been six months since we graduated, how could she be getting married already?” 

“Well, Irene did have a job lined up for her right after graduation,” Karly points out thoughtfully. She sees the look of bewilderment you give her. “What? It was on her Instagram.” 

You pout. “Of course Irene would have a job lined up like that.” You run a hand through your hair. “I mean, that’s good for her. Really good, actually…” 

Karly jerks her chin towards the envelope still in your hand. “So, are you planning to go?” 

“I don’t know, do you have plans that day?” You wave the paper. “I’m allowed a plus one.” 

Your roommate cracks a smile. “Are you asking me out? A little forward of you, we’ve been friends for so long…” 

You whine, shaking the paper and little more frantically. “Karly, this is important! I don’t want to go alone, I won’t know anyone!” 

She laughs. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. What was the date again?” 

You provide the date to her. You approach Karly’s place at the kitchen table and watch as she opens the calendar on her laptop. Immediately, you are overwhelmed by all the deadlines she’s got under practicality every date on the screen. Yet, a “wow” is the only thing you can say at the sight. 

Karly smiles, sparing you a glance over her shoulder. “One of the joys of being a grad student slash T.A. slash research assistant.” She scrolls down into May, and narrows her eyes upon May 25th. Underneath the date is an event—color coated to bright orange and typed out in all caps. CONFERENCE WITH PROFESSOR WONG. “Oh crap, I have a conference that day.” 

“No…” You whine some more, trailing off as you grab Karly by the shoulders and begin shaking. “Karly! You’ve left me out for the bears! What am I supposed to do?” 

Karly laughs as she lets herself be manhandled in this way. “I don’t know! Go and deepen your social life or something.” 

You stop shaking her and glare instead. “Is that a joke?” 

“What do you expect me to say?” She retorts, appalled by your answer. “Then don’t go.” 

You whine again. “But this is Irene, and I’ll feel bad for not going and congratulating her!” 

“Then go!” 

“But I don’t have a plus one!” 

Karly places her hands at her temples. “Oh my god, this is like the circle of stupidity with you. Then find a plus one! Or just don’t go!” She whirls around to face you. “I will help you find a dress if you decide to go. I will also sit with you on the couch and eat popcorn with you if you decide not to go.” 

You continue to pout, knowing that you deserve that gentle attempt at a lecture but still not liking the reason why you needed such a talking to. 

“Fine,” You eventually decide to say, sliding into the seat next to Karly and leaning forward to plant your entire upper body on the table. 

Karly laughs at your defeated posture. “Well, you have the rest of the week to make your decision.” 

She has a point. That doesn’t mean you have to like it. 

.

For the rest of the week the decision of whether or not you should attend the wedding becomes a weight in your mind. You spend the next few days pondering it, thinking over the pros and the cons. 

As overdramatic as it is, you think about it during work, when you’re partaking in your home workout routines, and even when you’re about to fall asleep. You do want to go, you really do. It’ll be the first time you attend a wedding that didn’t involve a relative, which feels like a big deal in your adult agenda mindset. And Irene is someone you wouldn’t mind spending an evening with to catch up. 

However, you wouldn’t get to spend the evening with Irene—after all, a wedding implies that she would likely be mingling with all of her guests and you would just be another attendee forced to find other means of entertainment. That’s where the plus one comes in handy. Except you don’t have a plus one. A slight problem. 

You sigh. Work is a little slow today, as you are also experiencing the afternoon slump in which your mind drifts away more often than usual. You find yourself with a small laundry list of tasks (such as emailing companies, working on drafts for releases, and trying to set up different appointments) but without the motivation to do those things right away. Because of that, your afternoon slump takes the form of opening airline services to find information and prices about flying to Irene’s wedding. It’s in her hometown, about a five hour flight time from here to there. 

You click on the various boxes that require information, finally allowing a search. As the search goes through, your eyes take in all the prices—both the amount to get there and to get back—and your lips part slightly at the totaling numbers. 

“Five hundred dollars?” You mutter to yourself. You’re not sure how this would work with budgeting, but you’re still trying to figure out how to balance the cost of AC, the internet, and how to eat appropriate meals at least once a day. You don’t have five hundred dollars to spend on an airplane ticket. A slightly bigger problem. 

You sigh again, resting your elbow on the desk and your chin in the palm as your eyes continue to scroll through the website. 

Behind you, fingers curl around the top of your cubicle. There is a silence between the two of you: him, merely observing, and you, completely oblivious, until he clears his throat. 

You jump, having not expected to be interrupted like this. A squeak leaves the back of your throat as you whirl around to see who is visiting you. “Jimin!” You exclaim, taking in the boy now perched along the wall of your cubicle. This is before you narrow your eyes. “Asshole, you scared me!” 

If you just started working here and learned that you’d be cursing out Park Jimin for startling you, that past version of yourself might have turned red, shocked, and nervous at the thought. A month ago, Jimin was that coworker—as friendly as friendly people come by. With his pretty eyes, perfectly soft pink lips, and freshly dyed brown hair, you had been immediately taken by his charm and helpful nature. 

Then the month went by, and you realized there were no romantic intentions on either end. Jimin then became your first friend in your new job. Albeit, he’s a nosy friend who enjoys asking questions and dragging you out to nearby bars and coming over occasionally with take-out, but a friend nonetheless. 

“Sorry!” Jimin says back, then he glares at you. “What are you doing over here anyways?” 

You shake your head. “What do you mean?” 

“What do you mean what do I mean? You’ve been sighing all afternoon.” Jimin pulls out a slip of paper from behind his back. “Fifty times in the last hour, I swear to god.” 

You straighten out of your seat to get a better look at the paper, unamused to find fifty tally marks across the surface. “You’re lying, there’s no way that I sighed fifty times in an hour.” 

“Of course you wouldn’t know, you’re the one doing all the sighing!” Jimin retorts, lowering his hand with the paper. “Is something up with you? Did something happen?” His eyes flicker to the monitor screen behind you and he frowns. “What the fuck? Are you moving away already?” 

You blink. “What?” 

He jerks his chin towards the computer. “You’re looking at flight prices.” 

“Huh?” You turn around, having completely forgotten about your previous predicament in light of discovering that Jimin counts your sighs. “Oh! No…” 

Jimin raises an eyebrow. “No, you’re not looking at flight prices?” 

You slide back into your chair, a silent invitation for Jimin to step further into your cubicle. You sigh again, and he holds the paper back up. Taking a pencil out of his pocket, he makes another mark. You look over at him upon hearing the pencil scratch and scowl. “Give me that!” You grab the paper from his hand. “I’m dealing with a crisis right now, don’t count my sighs!”

“Alright! Alright!” Jimin slides behind you and leans forward to get a better look at your computer screen. “So where are you moving to this time?” 

You press your lips together. “I’m not moving away. A friend of mine from college is getting married. I’m just trying to see how expensive it would be to fly over there.” 

He whistles at the five hundred dollar price in your cart. “That’s pretty expensive.” 

“I know!” You groan, throwing yourself further back into your chair. “I wouldn’t mind going, but I don’t have a plus one. And as you can see, flying there would be a challenge on my wallet.” 

Jimin hums at that. “Well, regarding your plus one problem, I wouldn’t mind going with you.” 

You turn to look at him. “Really? You’d go across the country and endure an entire evening with your coworker and her old college classmates?” 

He shrugs. “If you’re desperate, I’ll keep my offer around.” He actually pouts this time. “Are you implying that you see me more as a coworker than a friend? After all the times we’ve hung out outside of work!” 

Your eyes widen slightly, having not thought of that. “No, no, Jimin, I mean—yes, I do see you as a friend now but we met as coworkers so I just think of you as a coworker first—!” You’re rambling. 

Jimin interrupts by patting your shoulder, the corner of his lips quirked up into a smile. “I’m just messing with you.” 

You shake your head again. “Asshole,” You grumble, returning your attention back to your computer. 

Jimin is still mid-laughter behind you. “Anyways, yeah, like I said. If you’re desperate to go, I wouldn’t mind going with you. But deciding how to get there is a different question entirely.” 

You turn to glare at your friend for a moment. “I’ll let you know.” 

He nods, before his lips part and he’s snapping his fingers. “Oh yeah! I wanted to ask you something.” 

He backs up, allowing you enough space to turn around fully and face him. “Okay, what’s up?” 

Jimin grins, lifting his leg up to nudge your chair slightly. “I’m going out tonight—you should come with.” 

You don’t even give this a second thought. Your lips turn into a downwards curl as you shake your head. “Nope.” 

Jimin looks appalled. “Why not? Didn’t you have fun the last time we went out?” 

“If ‘fun’ to you is trying to drag your drunk ass home and staying the night to make sure you wouldn’t choke on your vomit…” You grumble, trying not to shudder at the memory. It has only been a few days since that ‘fun’ time. 

“I told you that sometimes I overestimate my abilities, and I already apologized for that,” Jimin points out, although he does have the decency to look guilty for that mess. He perks up again. “But this’ll be different, I promise. I’m meeting up with some friends and we’re just gonna catch up. It’s at one of the quieter bars uptown: no loud DJ, no bright lights, no bottomless rum and coke. Promise. It’ll just be a lot of socializing.” He watches you hesitantly. Socializing has never been your strong suit. “And finger food.” 

The mention of food does make you look up towards him—your first sign of interest towards something. However, another thought weighs you down. “Are you sure you even want me to go?” You ask after a moment. “I mean, this is a catch up with friends. Wouldn’t I be intruding?” 

“Not at all!” Jimin brushes off, waving away your concern with his hand. “I told you, it’s a socializing thing. Besides, my friends are always bringing someone along. They were asking me when I’d have a friend tag along, so I thought you’d be a good selection.” He notices you still frowning. “C’mon! It’ll be fun. When I’m not vomiting over your shoes, I’m good company. And I promise I won’t be vomiting this time.” 

You stare at Jimin for a moment longer, contemplating his words. This is very true. Jimin is an ideal friend to have during social gatherings—he’s good at keeping a conversation going so you don’t have to shoulder the weight alone, he’s good at reading when you’re in a good mood and when you’re ready to go home, and he’s excellent at keeping unwanted attention away. You know this. Jimin knows that you know this. 

It takes one curl of your lips for Jimin to grin, knowing that he has convinced you. “Okay!” He says, finalizing the decision without having to hear the actual answer from you. He pats your knee. “We’ll take the subway after work, it’s just a few stops down.” 

If your mind conjures up any second thoughts, Jimin leaves before you are able to express them. 

.

True to Jimin’s word, the pair of you step into a subway heading westbound as soon as you’re finished with work. It’s much later in the day now, the afternoon sun has changed into a night sky with a chill spring breeze to match. The carts are filled with the evening crowd of adults, all done with another day of work and finding enjoyment for the rest of today by returning home or seeing friends. It’s a rarity that you would fall under that latter category, but the thought makes you excited nonetheless. 

“Alright, so you wanna tell me a little bit about these friends that I’m seeing tonight?” You ask, gripping the handlebar above you but leaning towards Jimin so he can hear what you’re saying over the noise of the subway speeding down the tracks. 

Jimin grins. “They’re just some friends I grew up with. We like to get together once a month to catch up and hang out, since everyone is so busy with their own lives.” 

You smile back. “That’s actually really sweet of you guys, to plan hangouts once a month.” 

He lightly flicks your forehead. “Hey, are you saying I’m normally not very sweet?” 

“Well, not right now!” You protest, hand over your forehead. “That hurt.” 

“You’re being a baby!” Jimin retorts back. 

The pair of you continue to bicker like this until your stop is announced over the intercom. Jimin halts the further insults being thrown at each other as he gestures towards the approaching station, as seen through the window of the subway. 

“This is our stop,” Jimin says to you, allowing you to step out onto the platform first. He joins behind you right after, leading the way as the subway’s three chimes signal the closing of the doors. There’s a breeze that follows, running through your hair and clothes as the subway zooms away to its next stop. The station itself is crowded, filled with groups of friends and individuals carrying on with the rest of their evening, overall looking so lively and you can feel yourself feeding off their energy. 

With a gesture pointing up the stairs that’ll take the pair of you to ground level, Jimin leads the way. You make your way through people, following Jimin’s guide until you’re both exiting the station and entering the world of your new stop. It’s another area of the city you work in, so the change in scenery isn’t too dramatic—but it’s a place more catered towards restaurants, shopping areas, and hang-out sections. The bright neon signs protrude out from the building, flashing the various products or services the specific building offered: from manicure care to corner ramen shops. 

“C’mon, let’s hurry!” Jimin calls back to you, picking his pace up slightly. He’s not running, but his long legs make it harder for you to keep up. “Everyone is already there.” 

The pair of you continue to pace down the sidewalk, past the crowds of people waiting to eat, people lingering outside of clothing stores. Finally, Jimin slows down near a restaurant. He looks over his shoulder to make sure you’re still behind him, before entering the establishment. He mentions something about knowing where their seats are, before continuing deeper into the restaurant. 

As you look around, the place does look like a restaurant slash bar—not as crazy as some of the bars Jimin takes you with the intention of actually getting drunk, but there’s still a bar here and there’s still alcohol being shared heavily. It’s the same demographic of early 20s, young adults with friends, but there are actual tables and chairs and booths set up like a restaurant. So you suppose Jimin hadn’t been lying to you about this. 

“There they are!” Jimin says to you, as you look up and follow Jimin’s finger to the table in the far corner that is completely filled with the exception of two seats. You vaguely make out the back of some heads, most belonging to boys, before your eyes land on one of the boys facing you and Jimin. He’s sitting at the far end of the table, currently laughing brightly at something one of the boys at the table has said. For all intents and purposes, the boy is cute. Extremely cute. When he laughs, his eyes and nose crinkle and his lips spread into a wild smile—and brings out the dimple on his cheek. He looks like the embodiment of all your ideal types mashed into a singular being. 

All of those things. Yet, that is not the reason why you are staring. None of those things come close to why you stop dead in your tracks, why your heart drops in your chest, why your eyes widen. Even with the shitty lighting in this restaurant, you are one hundred percent positive. “Jimin!” You manage to choke out, having enough well power to grab onto his hand seconds before he is able to make himself and yourself known to his friends. 

He whirls around, wide-eyed and curious and worried. “What? Is everything okay?” 

You shake your head. The room feels too small. “I think there’s something I should tell you—!” 

“Hey, is that Jimin? Jimin!” Your voice is very easily drowned out by the sound of another, much louder voice that seems to boom through the restaurant. 

Jimin turns back around in time to face one of the boys from the table who has gotten out of his seat. You are able to see him from over Jimin’s shoulder—a tall boy with messy unkempt hair and a boxy smile. Jimin greets him with a “Taehyung!” before the boys embrace. “Taehyungie,” Jimin continues afterwards, turning around so both are able to face you. “This is Y/N, she’s a coworker of mine.” 

Taehyung grins, a friendly gesture that makes you relax. But only slightly. “Y/N! It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a bit about you from Jimin. All good things, I promise.” 

“W-Well, that’s good to hear,” You manage shakily, eyes nervously darting to the boy at the end of the table, who has stopped his conversation and is now looking at you and Jimin. 

“Let me introduce you,” Jimin says, breaking your concentration as he rests a hand on your shoulder. He points right at the boy at the end of the table, who is still staring at you. His eyebrows are furrowed together. You want to bury yourself alive. “That one over there is—!” 

A lightbulb seems to go off in the boy’s head. His face breaks out into a smile as he points at you. “Hey, Y/N!” 

Jimin looks taken aback at the fact you are being recognized by someone at the table. His hand lowers as he looks over at you. 

You, however, cannot focus on Jimin. You can only focus on the boy at the end of the table, the boy currently smiling over at you with all the light in his eyes, the boy who makes the memories flash through your mind. From that, the best you can manage is a tiny smile. “Jungkook!” 

Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. Where do you even begin with him? 

You met Jungkook during your second year of university. He had been an arts major (you were not) and yet, your paths crossed multiple times throughout the quarter as a result of sharing many general education classes together. You even were forced to pair up on a project for one of those aforementioned G.E. classes. Neither of you ran in the same social circle, but that didn’t change how sweet, funny, charming, endearing, easy-going, friendly, smart, and nice Jungkook was. It was very easy for him to make friends, very easy for him to go out of his way to say hi to you in the library or in class or in the cafeteria, and very easy for him to strike up a basic conversation with you. 

Because of that, it was very easy for you to fall for him—to develop a deep-rooted crush that went on for the rest of your university experience. You would use the term ‘friends’ very loosely when describing what your relationship with Jungkook had been. You had never hung out with him outside the context of school, never went out to eat with him, and never saw him again after graduation. Until now. 

Actually, ‘acquaintances’ would probably be a much more fitting term. 

“Hey, I haven’t seen you since graduation!” Jungkook is saying as he stands up from his chair and approaches you. As if on autopilot, you return the one armed hug he gives you. His smile, while still pleasant, holds a surprising tinge of shyness to it. 

“Woah, hold on a second,” Jimin interrupts, immediately pointing between Jungkook and you. “You guys know each other?” 

“Y/N and I went to university together!” Jungkook provides. 

Jimin looks like his eyes are about to fall out of his sockets. 

“We’ve known each other since second year,” Jungkook continues. He looks over at you. “I didn’t know you know Jimin.” 

“Uh…” You forget how to speak. You’re too busy looking at Jungkook as if you haven’t seen him for years. In a way, it feels like that. Seeing people from college outside of college after a graduation ceremony is like meeting them again for the first time—most of them develop a more independent look. Some look like their life is seconds from falling apart. Some look much happier without the institutional pressure to secure classes and grades and internships. Sadly for you, Jungkook falls under the latter category. Did he always have that twinkle of starlight in his eyes? 

“Y/N and I work together,” Jimin provides, seeming to realize that you weren’t going to answer Jungkook’s question. “She started working about a month ago.” 

“Oh, that’s cool,” Jungkook replies, still looking at you. It is then he seems to notice that the three of you are standing in the middle of the restaurant. Although you are not distracting any patrons, the workers probably don’t appreciate it. “How about we sit down? We’ll be able to catch up more!” 

Jimin seems to regain control of the situation quicker than you do, because he nods at Jungkook. “Let me introduce her to everyone, then we’ll join you.” You look over to where Jungkook had been sitting and immediately notice the previously empty two chairs right across from him—like fate, or something terrible like that. 

So you watch as Jungkook makes his way back to his seat, and Jimin starts to guide you around the table. He only drops a name. Surprisingly, he doesn’t linger, he merely takes you to the next person. It only takes you a second to figure out why. 

“You didn’t tell me you know Jungkook,” Jimin hisses in between the time it takes to travel in between people. 

“I didn’t know you knew Jungkook!” You hiss back. You smile and nod politely at the person Jimin introduces as Yoongi. “Seriously, you never mentioned him once!” 

Jimin only keeps his frustration for a moment before he’s introducing you to someone named Hoseok, a boy with a bright smile, the one who was making Jungkook laugh earlier. “Okay, fine,” He relents, the pair of you finally move to take your seats. “But what was that earlier?” 

“What was what?” 

“You were just staring at him! What, did you have a huge crush on him or something—?” Jimin accuses, but he stops. Just as the pair of you are about to sit down, Jimin parts his lips in realization. “Oh.” Then, he sends you an absolutely wicked grin. “Oh, okay.” 

Your eyes widen at him, murder in your eyes. “Jimin!” 

“So, Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice cuts through your little biting banter with Jimin. 

You whirl around to face Jungkook, eyes completely devoid of murder and voice several pitches higher. “Hi, Jungkook!” 

He smiles, such a wonderful little thing that makes your heart flutter in your chest. “Hi.” 

Jimin ducks his head to hide the fact that he wants nothing more than to burst into fits of laughter. 

“So how have you been?” Jungkook starts up. “I haven’t seen you since graduation. Since you landed a job, you seem to be doing well.” 

“I am!” You manage, only continuing to try and keep a handle on your heart and managing well enough this time. “There were a few months of just scrolling through job postings and writing cover letter after cover letter though.” 

Jungkook laughs, another beautiful gesture that makes you mirror his smile. “I definitely feel that.” 

“Well, what about you? What have you been up to?” You ask. “I think I saw on your Instagram and you were traveling around for a little?” 

His eyes light up at that. “Oh yeah! I don’t know if you remember Kim Mingyu from school?” You do. “Well, he and a friend of his got into some freelancing and had to do some traveling around to work on some filming. He asked me to come along because I actually have some photography experience. So that was a thing I did for a few months.” 

You nod, smiling. “No way! That’s so cool.” 

You do relax after a few conversational exchanges with Jungkook. He’s just as relaxed and mellow, yet friendly and polite as ever, and it’s easy to make conversation with him as it always has been. Eventually, you join in on the larger conversations with the whole table—touching on topics from your university experiences to tales from your new job. A lot of your role, however, falls to listening. Jimin’s friends are rowdy, funny, and out-going. They invite you in like you have been in this group for years—and are able to provide context on older memories they are revisiting. 

Most of your evening, however, is engaging in conversation with Jungkook. Occasionally, Jimin will join in, but he does spend most of his time laughing along to something his other friends are saying. Since you and Jungkook have always been friendly with each other, long conversations aren’t out of the ordinary. You just never considered how well you and Jungkook got along, how easy it would be to transition from topic to topic. 

“I am really glad that Jimin invited you along,” Jungkook explains brightly after the pair of you are done laughing following Jungkook’s tale of another fuck-ups with Kim Mingyu. “Makes you realize how small the world is.” 

“Oh, you should have seen her moping around earlier today,” Jimin interjects, choosing now of all times to insert himself back into your conversation with Jungkook. “She was sighing all afternoon—so maybe we should thank her misery that I decided to invite her along tonight.” 

Jungkook turns to you, a sympathetic look across his face. “Did you have a bad day today?” 

You try for a laugh, waving away Jimin’s words. “Jimin’s just overreacting. Actually, I found out a friend of mine from college is getting married, so I was trying to figure out my plan…” You start, trailing off as you look at Jungkook. “Wait, you didn’t know Irene, did you?” 

“I did.” His eyes widen as his lips part in realization. “Oh my god, you were invited to Irene’s wedding too?” 

“I was!” You exclaim, unsure whether you should be excited or even more nervous at the prospect of potentially seeing Jungkook at the wedding event. “Holy shit, this makes it an even smaller world. How did you know Irene?” 

Jungkook is still mid-giggle at the pure coincidence of everything. “We both knew Mingyu! This is so crazy. Are you planning to go?” 

You shrug. Jimin chooses to interject once more. “That’s what Y/N over here was sighing all afternoon over.” 

You whine as you look at Jimin. “No need to sell me out! Listen, Jungkook.” You turn back to the boy opposite of you, who is still gazing at you. “I’m sure you understand my current predicament.” 

“Sure.” 

“You know how expensive flights can be.” 

“Of course.” 

You fold your arms over each other and rest them on the table. “So, are you planning to go to the wedding?” 

He nods. “Most likely, yeah. I actually knew that the wedding was going to be happening soon, since Mingyu told me about it as soon as Irene got the ring. I ran into the flight problem pretty quickly too, so I decided to just drive to the event.” 

Jimin whistles. “Drive across the country, huh, JK? That must be a four day trip, or something.” 

“It was coming out to be,” Jungkook acknowledges with a nod. “But it’s okay.” He’s grinning, looking excited at the prospect. “I’ve never done a cross country drive before, so it was actually kind of exciting to plan the route. There are a few places I want to stop by and visit. I’m sure it’ll be fun.” Then, Jungkook turns back to you. “If you decide that flying would be too expensive, then you’re more than welcome to come along. It’ll be nice to have some company and not spend four days by myself.” 

Entirely on instinct, you start to laugh. You think he’s joking—how could you not? This is probably one of the longest conversations you’ve ever had with Jungkook. Like you’ve mentioned before, you wouldn’t consider him a friend. Why would he seriously try to invite you on a road trip?  “Yeah, I’m not too sure—I’ve never done a cross country trip before…” 

The conversation shifts pretty quickly as soon as you reply back to Jungkook. Hoseok asks you a question that drags your attention away, simultaneously allowing you to forget about Jungkook’s request. 

The end of the dinner happens soon after, when the bill has been paid and you suspect the long line of people outside waiting for a table are waiting for your party to be done. So venmo exchanges and money debts go around until each member of the table starts standing up one by one to make their move to exit the restaurant. 

You and Jimin are one of the first to leave. Goodbyes are exchanged along with the polite ‘it was nice to meet you’ phrase thrown around. Jungkook is mid-conversation with Yoongi, but he still gives you a quick hug of parting before you and Jimin exit the restaurant. 

The pair of you only make it out a few steps before there is a familiar voice calling your name. “Hey, Y/N! Y/N, wait up!” You stop and turn around, surprised to see Jungkook dashing out of the restaurant. He rests himself for a moment before he’s straightening back up to look at you. 

You try for a smile. “Hey Jungkook, what’s up?” 

He takes in a few more deep breaths to calm himself—either from the dashing he just did or to steel himself for the next question, you don’t know. “It’s about me inviting you to drive up to Irene’s wedding—I just thought I’d let you know it was a serious invitation. Having the company would be nice, and you wouldn’t be a burden to me, seriously. Besides, it’ll be fun to spend some time together.” 

“O-Oh,” You stammer, wringing your hands together. “I’m not too sure… I still have to think about it.” 

“Of course, of course,” Jungkook dismisses good naturedly. “Just thought I’d let you know, so you know that you do have options.” 

Although the offer makes you nervous, you cannot dismiss Jungkook’s thoughtfulness. You give him a more relaxed smile. “I really appreciate that Jungkook, thank you.” 

He smiles at your smile. “No problem! Actually…” He digs around for the wallet in his pocket and produces a little card. “Here’s my business card—my cell phone number is on here so just text or call if you decide to join me. Or,” He presses his lips into a more bashful smile. “You can just text me whenever for whatever reason. I just thought I’d let you know that it was good to see you again.” 

You take the card slowly, unable to look away from Jungkook’s face. He looks so genuine and shy that it doesn’t help your own racing heart. “It was good to see you too, Jungkook…” You return, albeit a little breathlessly. 

He smiles again, dimples pressing in his cheek (and your heart). He turns to Jimin “Oh yeah, nice seeing you too Park.” 

“Hey.” Jimin hits him on the shoulder. “I’m your hyung, you should show me more respect!” 

“My bad, my bad.” Jungkook doesn’t apologize though. His gaze flickers to yours one more time, gaze looking strangely hopeful. “I’ll see you guys around.” He walks backwards a few paces before turning around and returning to the restaurant. Maybe to see his other friends. 

Either way, it doesn’t matter. You are still screaming internally regardless—as shown through your red cheeks, widened eyes, and singing heart. Jimin will certainly never let you live this moment down. 

. 

Now, you are screaming externally. You don’t even give a thought or an explanation. You simply walk into your apartment, nosedive for the couch, and start yelling into one of the throw pillows. 

There’s a rapid movement of footsteps coming from down the hallway almost immediately, one that grows gradually louder until the owner of the steps starts speaking. “Who the fuck is out there? I’ve played softball my entire life and therefore will not hesitate to drive this bat so far up your ass—oh, Y/N.” The voice lowers significantly, as does the threat level it emits into the air. “It’s just you.” 

You lift your face from the throw pillow, and immediately brush away at the hair that falls in your face. “What the fuck!” You croak, pushing yourself into a sitting position and pointing at the bat in Karly’s hands. “What are you doing threatening me with a bat? You’ve never played a game of softball in your life!” 

“Oh, this isn’t mine. It’s Soonyoung’s.” Soonyoung is Karly’s boyfriend from high school, who used to play baseball on the high school team. How Karly has her boyfriend’s baseball bat is a mystery, but it’s something you think you are better off not asking about. She places the bat down on the carpet next to the coffee table. “But I should be asking you the questions, you bitch! You scared the shit out of me!” 

You sigh, throwing your head to rest on the back of the couch. “Sorry, sorry. Had a crazy day.” 

Karly ponders this as she moves to take a seat next to you. “You seemed fine when you texted me about you getting drinks with Jimin. Did something happen during the dinner?” 

You straighten up again and grip Karly by the arm. “Okay, don’t scream.” 

“You mean like you did?” Karly retorts dryly. 

You shake her. “I’m serious!” When Karly doesn’t say anything, you take it as a sign to continue with your story. “I saw Jungkook.” 

Karly blinks, then grabs your arm right back. “Wait, Jeon Jungkook, as in the guy you’ve been crushing on since second year?” 

“Yes!” You whine, throwing yourself onto the couch all over again. 

“The one you had to work together on a project with and nearly cried even though you guys just had to submit a paper?” 

“Yes!” 

“The one who said hi to you in the library that one time and you tried to put your elbow on the table afterwards but you missed and hit your head instead?” 

You pause, scowling. “Okay, now you’re just being mean. Are you done?” 

Karly is laughing. “Oh my god. What are the chances of you seeing him now?” 

“There’s more,” You groan out. 

“Really? Honestly that yell could have been just for seeing him again and that would have made sense—!” 

You ignore her. “He’s friends with Jimin. He’s friends with Irene, too. He was invited to her wedding.” 

“Wait, Jimin is friends with Irene or Jungkook is friends with Irene—?” 

“He won’t pay for the flight though. It’s too expensive. I can attest to that.” 

Karly holds a finger up, trying to connect the dots. “When did you look up flight prices—?” 

“So he invited me on a cross country road trip to Irene’s wedding.” 

Karly frowns. 

You sigh. “Jungkook invited me on a cross country road trip to Irene’s wedding.” 

“Oh! Oh!” Karly’s eyes widen. “Oh my god, that’s huge. Are you gonna go?” 

“I don’t know!” You whine. “Jungkook mentioned it would be a four day drive to get there. I don’t know if I can survive four days in a car with him! We’ve never been that close, what if it gets awkward?” 

Karly ponders this. “I really don’t think it’s in Jungkook’s nature to be awkward with someone—especially someone he’s had a history with.” She sees the look of disbelief you give her. “Well, even if that history was really limited. What makes you think it’ll be awkward? Was it awful seeing him tonight?” 

“No!” You cry, straightening into a sitting position so your legs drape over the side of the couch. You force yourself to calm down. “It… it was pretty good actually.” 

Karly raises an eyebrow, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Really now.” 

“Yeah…” You reply, trailing off. “We sat across from each other during the dinner and we talked most of the night, surprisingly. I guess because we were sort of acquaintances we’ve always known about each other, so it wasn’t like we didn’t know how to ask questions to each other. And Jungkook… he’s easy to talk to as he’s always been and he’s so nice and positive and he has a dimple on his cheek when he smiles…” You finish slowly, noticing your racing heart that has come up as a result of this conversation and of your memory. You realize the predicament you’re in, further emphasized by Karly’s growing grin. You groan. “Shut up.” 

Karly looks like a Cheshire cat. “I didn’t say anything.” 

You grab onto one of the throw pillows and properly hit her in the face. “You’re saying many things right now, you bitch!” 

Karly takes the pillow from you and proceeds to whack you in the shoulder. “Not outloud!” 

“So you admit it!” You accuse, pointing at her. 

Karly yells. “Just admit you still have a crush on him!” 

Your groan turns into a cry. “Don’t say it outloud! Now I have to deal with it!” 

Your roommate sighs. “Bitch, I can tell you exactly how to deal with this. You’re gonna go on this road trip with Jungkook and see if you guys vibe—you honestly will not find a better way to discover your compatibility with him. If it works out, then you get more than a plus one to the wedding. If it doesn’t work out, just skip the wedding and take the first flight back home. Cut off your friendship with Jimin while you’re at it—it’s the only way to ensure you’ll never have to run into Jungkook again.” 

You pout. “That seems a little dramatic.” 

Karly thinks for a second, then she nudges you. “Remind me again about that quote your high school English teacher used to always parade around.” 

You stare at her for a moment, because you know exactly what point she’s trying to make. Still, you decide to humor her. And yourself. “‘You’ll never know if you’ll sink, swim, or float, until you’re willing to take the plunge’.” You level Karly with another gaze. Your friend has a point. You missed any chance to hang out with Jungkook during your college years—partly because your friend groups never intersected, but mostly because of your internalized fear of fucking up. But now that you are just a little older and just a little more versed in the art of conversing and befriending—maybe Karly is right. Maybe this is your chance to see if a different set of timing could make a difference. 

So you sigh. 

“I guess I should text Jungkook, huh.” 

Karly pats you on the shoulder. “Take the plunge, my dude.” 

.

You do take the plunge. You take Jungkook’s business card out from the pocket of your dress and dial the number. He expresses excitement—and also relief. 

These things lead up to the current moment. Eight o’clock in the morning: you lingering in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, your suitcase by the door, and a roommate keeping you company. 

You don’t realize how nervous you are until you get a text from Jungkook. 

Jungkook (8:03am): i’m here! u can buzz me up so i can help u with your stuff :) 

You (8:03am): it’s ok jungkook it’s just a suitcase. i’ll be down in a second! 

You pocket your phone, and Karly can read the expression across your face before you realize what is going on. She straightens up. “He’s here?” 

“Yeah.” You rinse your coffee cup and make your way towards the door. “Did you want to come down with me?” 

Karly stops and gives you a look. “I thought that was already implied.” 

“Well, thanks, that’s really nice—!” 

“Someone has to give you an embarrassing goodbye.” 

“There it is.” You sigh. You don’t say anything as you and Karly exit the apartment and make your way down the hall into the elevator. It only takes a few seconds for the elevator to lower down to the ground floor, where you and Karly exit and make your way to the front of the apartment complex. 

You swear your heart beats just a little faster as soon as you see Jungkook near the front entrance of the building. He’s wearing a pair of black jackets with an oversized denim jacket and currently looking down at his phone—overall appearing so tall and pretty and otherworldly. For a brief second, you are taken by the fact that for the next four days, he’ll be yours. 

Jungkook looks up as soon as he hears the door opening and he smiles. “Hey you.” 

You smile, albeit a little lopsided and dreamy. “Hi.” 

Jungkook walks towards you immediately. “Here, let me help you with that.” He reaches a hand out and gently takes the handle of your suitcase before you can say anything. Just as he’s taking the suitcase from you, Karly emerges from the building. “Oh, sorry about that.” 

Karly waves him off. “Don’t be. I’m Y/N’s roommate—I’m just here to see her off.” 

Jungkook stares at her for a moment, then he snaps his fingers. “Wait, I remember you. You went to college with us too.” He jerks his chin towards you. “You hung out with Y/N a lot, right?” 

“Yeah, I’m Karly.” She holds out her hand for Jungkook to shake. “And you’re right, she and I hung out a lot. We were roommates back then too.” 

Jungkook nods in understanding, before shoving his hand into his pocket. His other hand is still holding onto your suitcase. “Well, I promise to take good care of Y/N.” 

Karly smacks her teeth against the side of her mouth as she points at him. “You’re a good man, Jungkook.” She pauses for a moment, seeming to contemplate a new thought. You recognize the look immediately, and your fingers twitch as if you want to strangle her. Or at least let her know you’re throwing her a look of murderous intent. But of course, Karly doesn’t see it. And even if she had, you doubt she’d care. “But no funny business, alright.” 

You gape at her. “Karly!” 

Jungkook coughs at that. “I-It’s just a drive—y-you don’t need to worry about that.” He does, however, turn away to hide the red that dusts his cheeks. 

As soon as Jungkook’s back is facing you, you whirl around to shoot Karly with a glare. “Karly, you’re lucky I’m leaving for the next four days or I would not hesitate to figure out how to make stuffocation look like an accident!” You hiss out between teeth without taking a breath. 

Karly glares right back. “You’re really dumb, aren’t you? The fact that he recognizes me because he saw you hanging out with me on campus doesn’t strike any chords? Even though, like you said, you guys weren’t really friends?” 

You blink. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

Karly widens her eyes. “What the fuck do you mean? Are you dumb with all the boys or just Jungkook?” 

“What do you mean!” You snap back. 

“So, Y/N, ready to go?” 

You whirl back around to find Jungkook now standing in front of you and Karly. He must have finished packing your suitcase in the trunk of his car and is now looking over at you with a tilt in his head. 

So you force a smile. “Of course,” You say, turning to Karly. “I was just saying bye to my roommate.” 

He nods in understanding, sparing one more glance at Karly before seeming to decide against it because he looks away. He’s still a little red at Karly’s previous comment. “We should get going then.” 

“Sure.” You look over at your roommate. “See you, bitch.” 

Karly waves back, grinning wildly. You just know she has several other thoughts she’d like to share with you, but has probably deemed you embarrassed enough. Lucky for you, she keeps her mouth shut. 

Unlucky for you, without Karly to be a barrier of distraction, this leaves you alone with Jungkook. You slide into the passenger seat of his car, still not yet processing the weight of what you’ve just agreed to. You fiddle alone for a second before Jungkook is opening the driver’s side and shifting into his seat. 

There is a silence as Jungkook is starting the car, and a part of you wants to die. Or at least have the ground swallow you whole. Holy fuck, what did you just sign up for? 

Your mind somehow takes five seconds to turn into complete shambles that you almost miss Jungkook’s question. 

“Here, I’m giving you an important mission,” Jungkook says, rummaging through the various chords that lay over the center console before producing an aux cord. “Should you choose to accept.” 

He’s got on such a serious expression you momentarily forget about your anxiety. His usage of the iconic line from Mission Impossible makes you laugh—a breathy sort of noise that escapes when your mind is too full. You still take the aux cord. “Oh my god—ever heard of bluetooth?” 

He pouts. “It hasn’t even been five minutes and you’re already insulting my beautiful Celia!” 

You raise both your eyebrows. “Celia?” 

“Yeah, that’s the name of my car.” He catches the bewildered look you give him before angling himself back to face the steering wheel, where he shifts his console into drive and makes a turn onto the main street. “If you’re already weirded out by the fact I have a name for my baby, then you’re in for a very long four days, Miss. Y/N.” 

You giggle, feeling that distraction of nerves start to come off your shoulders. “Not weird at all.” You pause. “Ryan is the name of my car.” 

“Ah!” He holds one arm out in a grand gesture. “You see, not so strange after all.” He steals a glance at you, watching as you’re about to connect your phone to the aux cord. “Wait!” He says, pointing a finger at you. 

You look up at him, wide eyes. 

He’s still holding an arm up. “How’s your music taste?” 

You’re still giving him your surprised expression. “You scared me!” 

He laughs, returning his hand back to the steering wheel. “Sorry, sorry. I have to ask though—I’d rather know now than later, so I can kick you out and not feel as bad about it.” 

Your laughter seems to melt away the last of your nervous energy. “Nice to know you’re putting all your cards out now.” You look down at your phone. “Regarding my music taste… it’s whatever you want dude! I have some lo-fi on here, some pop, alternative, Broadway, anime openings… an ‘everything’ playlist. Honestly, the world is your oyster.” 

“How about we start with your ‘everything’ playlist,” Jungkook suggests. “That way I can judge you immediately.” 

“Were you always this charming, Jeon Jungkook?” You retort. “Or has graduation changed you?” 

“Oh, I’ve always been this charming—you just never noticed.” 

That comment, however, goes over your head as you focus down on your playlist. You look over, selecting the shuffle option as Taylor Swift’s soft music from her newest album fills the air. Another silence fills the car, but it’s much more peaceful and comfortable. You allow yourself to settle further into the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car. 

“So,” You start after a moment. Jungkook hums to let you know he’s paying attention. “What inspired the name Celia?” 

Jungkook brightens at the question. “She was this character from a book I read when I was younger. The Night Circus? Anyways, the book is about these two illusionists who try to one up each other with their skills of magic, but they end up falling in love. Celia is the name of one of those illusionists.” 

You grin. “Sounds like a very cute crush.” 

Jungkook grins back. 

The drive out of the city continues like this. The pair of you cover the topic of books, of music, of your favorite animes. Jungkook just has this magical power of ensuring the tension dissipates from your mind and stays gone—whether it’s through his relaxed nature or easy-going teasing or his ability to ease the conversation from one topic to the next. It feels like every conversation you and Jungkook had in college, whether vague or circling around classes, all have led up to this moment. It seems like everytime you or Jungkook run out of things to talk about pertaining to a certain topic, you would bring up memories from college and just continue from there. Everything feels natural. 

It continues to feel natural even as you and Jungkook slowly start to see the edges of the city landscape fade away. The high rises fade into shorter buildings and smaller business areas that surround the bustling city scene. You watch as those buildings and business areas become rows of houses. Residential areas in the suburbs, passing by the occasional school or corner restaurants. 

“Before we enter the wide unknown,” Jungkook starts up, breaking the quiet that has enveloped the car. “You want to pick up lunch? You hungry?” 

You haven’t even realized how much time has gone by until you look at the clock on Jungkook’s dashboard and notice that it’s past noon. You widen your eyes at the sight. “Wow, I didn’t even realize so much time had passed.” 

“Yeah, we drove through a few cities. Time flies when you’re having fun, huh?” 

“You wish,” You tease, sticking your tongue out. “So, what, do we stop at a Cheesecake factory or something?” 

Jungkook blinks. “I thought you were poor—why would we stop at the Cheesecake factory? And why is that the first restaurant that comes to your mind?” 

You wave your hands. “It was just a suggestion!” 

“Well, I’m realizing that I should probably let you know that the motel I picked for us to drive to tonight is pretty far out—Google Maps says we probably won’t get there until midnight, and that’s with us driving straight through.” 

“Midnight? Fuck, Jungkook. Will we make it to the wedding a day early or something?” 

“Ha, ha, no. I’ll go over the schedule I planned out tomorrow. Basically, I want to try and cover most of our ground on the first day so we can take the rest of the trip easy. But I thought I’d let you know now that sitting in a restaurant probably won’t be the most time responsible idea.” 

“That’s true.” You look out the window again and see the golden arches of McDonalds appear within your line of sight. “Let’s just stop at McDonalds.” 

Jungkook follows your gaze. “Alright, down. Let’s do it.” 

He exits off the freeway, following down a route that takes him almost immediately towards the McDonalds parking lot. Since this restaurant is still within the lines of the city, it’s not completely deserted. There are a few cars in the parking lot, even fewer cars in the drive-through line. Because of this, ordering the food only takes a few minutes. Both of you get chicken nuggets, sodas, and large orders of french fries. 

“You know, we’re really living like kings,” You comment as Jungkook drives out and makes his way back onto the freeway. “College graduates, both somehow able to secure a job, and still ordering chicken mcnuggets.” 

Jungkook shrugs. “I wasn’t told this is what adulthood would be like. But I’m not complaining. My 10-year-old self is singing in so much joy right now.” He says this as he’s stuffing a handful of fries into your mouth. You laugh, and hand him a napkin. 

You turn the music back on. The pair of you silently munch on your chicken nuggets, as you angle your head towards the side window once again. As Jungkook drives, the numbers of structural spaces become more scattered the longer you both continue down the freeway. 

The anime opening to Haikyuu starts playing when you turn back to Jungkook and realize that he’s trying to close the box of his chicken nuggets. You move right away, taking the cardboard from him and closing it yourself. “Let me know if you need anything, Jungkook. Think of me as your co-pilot.” 

He laughs gently. “Is that the rule of the passenger seat?” 

You shrug, putting the empty box into the McDonalds bag near your feet. “For me at least. Everytime I do one of these drives with family, the person in the passenger seat has to open the snacks, make conversation, and always stay awake with the driver. It’s just courtesy.”

Jungkook is smiling softly now, mostly to himself, but it lights the corners of his eyes that makes you momentarily unable to look away. “You wanna tell me about your family?” 

So you do. Your voice becomes softer as you continue, but Jungkook listens to every single word you say. 

True to his observation, it’s not long before the pair of you are surrounded by the wide unknown. Houses in the suburbs become farmhouses and farms. Conversations fade from your family to another comfortable silence as you continue gazing out the window. Jungkook requests your lo-fi playlist at some point, filling the car with the soft and distorted hums. It allows your mind to wander as you stare out the window. The empty stretches of land around you are filled with greenery, with mountains, cutting right through the perfect blue of the sky above you. 

By 4:00PM, your entire body is starting to feel the ache of having been seated for long hours on end. You feel the tightness in the muscles of your thigh, the bones in your knees. 

Jungkook must be feeling the same, because as soon as a sign for a rest stop comes on, he exits the freeway and pulls into a large parking lot. There’s a restroom on the side, but the area is surrounded by trees with mountains standing in the background. 

Jungkook stops the car. “We should get out for a bit to move our legs.” 

You’re already tugging on the latch that’ll open the car door. “I’m already feeling it in my knees.” You open the door and immediately extend your legs out onto the solid ground beneath you. You let out a sigh of satisfaction, and Jungkook laughs from next to you. 

He’s opening his own car door soon after, but he straightens up into a standing position pretty quickly and stretches upwards. He closes the car door behind him, watching as you eventually pull yourself together to do the same. 

You turn to face Jungkook. “I’m gonna use the restroom.” You gesture towards the building and earn a nod from Jungkook, who mentions something about doing the same thing. You meet back at the car a few minutes later. 

Jungkook gestures to the trees surrounding the parking lot. “Want to take a walk around the area? Keep the blood flowing to our legs.” 

You nod. “That sounds like a good idea.” 

“Why don’t you get started. I’ll catch up.” Jungkook watches you leave, before opening the trunk of his car and rummaging around. 

He does catch up with you, quickly enough that you hardly notice that he had sent you out first. You hear his footsteps, and the call of your name. You turn around. “Jungkook!” 

The sight before you makes you waver slightly, as bouts of shyness overtake you. Standing before you is Jungkook, with his camera in hand. The lens is pointed right at you. As soon as you’re staring straight into the camera, Jungkook grins. “Say hi!” 

You whine, whirling back around and covering your face. “Are you filming me right now?” 

“I’m a photographer at heart, what did you expect?” Jungkook teases back. “Besides, it’s really pretty around here. You think I won’t film it?” 

You snort, starting your walk around the parking lot. “Oh yeah, because there aren’t any parking lots and trees and bathroom stops at home.” 

Jungkook is quiet for a second. “That’s not what I meant.” 

You turn to stare right into the lens of his camera. “Then the mountains, right?” 

He’s quiet for another second. “Sure.” He does, however, sound a little disappointed. You do not notice this. 

The pair of you stay quiet as you make your round around the parking lot, taking in the mountains from different angles. The walk around is mostly just to rid of the sensation of your legs falling off, but it’s still a nice view to admire. As soon as you finish a complete round, you and Jungkook return back to the car. You watch as he carefully places his camera into his camera bag before you’re both back in your seats. 

Jungkook turns to you. “Ready to get going again?” He looks at the control panel behind his steering wheel. “We’ll probably have to stop for gas in a few hours. But after that, it’s straight to the hotel.” 

You settle back into the passenger seat. “I guess we already have our dinner plans then.” You’re referring to the gas station. 

Jungkook grins. “I’m down for that.” 

And so, the trip continues back on the freeway. With the lo-fi playing in the background, you watch as the sun tears through the blue sky, as the sun finally begins it’s dip to the other side. The singular color once spread across the pane of atmosphere now conjugates around the sun crawling behind the mountain—creating a diffusion of new colors. The corner of the mountain emits an explosion of oranges, pinks, and purples. 

You lift your head from the window, eyes taking in the rainbow of pastels around the now fading sun. “Wow, Jungkook, look at that sunset.” 

He snorts. “You wanna talk about things that you can’t see back in the city?” 

You pout. “But it looks so pretty, see!” You keep gesturing towards the sunset. 

Jungkook relents just enough to spare a glance in the direction. He hums. “Yeah, it’s pretty.” He looks back at the road. “Can’t really find a view like that in the city.” 

You spend a little more time admiring the sunset than Jungkook does, for obvious reasons. You’ve seen a sunset plenty of times before in the past, but the context of this whole situation makes you unable to look away from it. You’re really out here, stuck in a car with someone you have never hung out with for longer than a few minutes. But you are enjoying yourself. There's peace in that. 

So you watch until the sun dips below the mountain, momentarily leaving the sky in a navy color. 

The next time Jungkook speaks, the area around you is much darker, and the sky is nearly black. “You hungry now?” 

You lift your head from the seat, not even realizing you were drifting off. You’re thinking about Irene, wondering if you should have texted her directly congratulating her on the wedding rather than just simply sending in the RSVP. “Sure. We eat as the car eats, right?” 

Jungkook smiles, a gesture you can barely make out from the headlines. “Of course.” 

This goes on for a few more miles until the sign for a gas station comes up. A few other cars linger near the dispensers. Jungkook parks near his choice and gets out of the car. You follow behind him. He’s already sliding his credit card into the machine, and the sight makes you reach over to grab his wrist. 

“I should pay, you’ve been driving all day!” 

He shakes his head, waving you off. “We’ll take turns, okay?” He looks at you. “Buy me dinner tonight too, that sound fair?” 

You pout, leaning back as you cross your arms. “Not really, but I guess I’ll have to accept it.” 

He grins. “You are correct.” 

As soon as the gas pump alerts you of the filled tank, Jungkook returns the pump back to the machine and locks his car. Together, the two of you make your way towards the convenience store, where the bell above rings to alert the workers of your presence. Nods are exchanged as you and Jungkook tear through the aisles to find anything that could satisfy your cravings. You return back with family size bags of hot cheetos and beef jerky, while Jungkook holds his selection of roasted seaweed and Doritos. You select your drinks together before returning to the cashier. 

It’s nearing 9:00PM as you and Jungkook return back to his car, where you slide back into your seats and immediately tear into your bags of salt and sodium. 

“How are you doing?” You ask as Jungkook finishes his first bag of roasted seaweed. 

Jungkook pulls out his phone, scrolling through the final stretch needed to reach the hotel. “Yeah, about four more hours to the motel.” He looks over at you. “I’m good. The salt in this seaweed really helps. How are you doing?” 

You nod immediately. “Great. Perfect.” 

He smiles, shifting his console to drive and pulling out of the gas station. “I’m used to these weird hours. Remember how I told you I traveled around a bit with Mingyu and Wonwoo? There was this one day we only slept for an hour or something? It sucked, I think I almost passed out that day. But yeah, this is honestly not even that bad.” He turns to look at you. “I think the good company helps, too.” 

You roll your eyes, grinning. “You flatter me, Jeon.” 

Slowly, 8PM turns into 10PM. One glance at Google maps tells you that you’re still two hours from the hotel. Even though you’re not the one driving, and although you haven’t endured any physical activity that could result in this exhaustion, you still find yourself growing tired. Something about sitting under the sun, sitting in a vehicle that rocks side to side with a consistent hum—it makes your mind work slowly and therefore brings out the sleepiness quicker. 

You settle deeper into your seat. 

Jungkook giggles from next to you. “You tired already?” 

You pout slowly, eyes closed just enough. “I’m not a morning person and you made me wake up at 8!” 

“Sure, sure, of course.” 

There’s a pause. 

You ponder a question for a moment. It’s something that you would never dare ask Jungkook if you had been more awake and more alert. But you’re tired, and your defenses are lowered, and it means you are more prone to asking questions. “Hey, Jungkook? Did you have any girlfriends when we were in college?” 

Jungkook doesn’t answer immediately. “Where’s this coming from?” He asks instead. 

You shrug, making a dismissive noise as your shoulders rise up. “Curiosity.” 

A pause. “I went on a few dates, but I never had a serious relationship.” 

“No way.” You lift your head up from the seat. “But I remember seeing you hang out with the occasional girl in the quad, or at some restaurants around the school.” 

Jungkook smiles. It’s hard to read the look in his eyes. They’re focused on the road in front of him, but they seem almost hazy and faraway. “Like I said, I went on a few dates. I did really want to get into a long term relationship in college. A lot of my friends had them, that’s where my parents met, so I was really open to the idea of at least experimenting. There were a lot of girls that I thought were nice, easy-going, or just really pretty, so I tried my hand in the whole dating thing.” 

“And it didn’t work out?” You coax out gently. 

“Not really,” He continues. He steals a glance at you. “We’d go on a few dates, but none of them ever felt substantial. I think girls see me and have a certain expectation—an expectation I couldn’t meet. So I never could picture myself in a long term relationship with any of them.” 

You tilt your head towards him. “There must have been someone…” 

“Well… there was one girl.” Jungkook starts after a moment. He’s not looking at you this time. “We had a few classes together earlier—we weren’t in the same major program. I don’t even know if I’d say we were close or anything. We just had a few classes and saw each other around on occasion. But the conversations we did have during class or outside of class just felt more real. Honestly, I could have been totally wrong about her. I could have just been blinded by all these expectations I was putting on her, which is ironic. But she was the only person I could actually see myself being in a long term relationship with. Or at least try.” 

You hum, still facing towards him in your seat. “Why didn’t you try anything then? You’re a good guy, Jungkook. I’m sure she would have wanted to try with you too.” 

“I guess I was just afraid of pushing it and scaring her off. I thought it was better to stay friends with her than try to pursue something. She never gave me an indication that she felt the same.” 

“And how do you feel now?” 

There’s a pause this time. “I don’t know honestly. We remained friends up until graduation but, uh, never saw her again. I do wonder from time to time how she’s doing.” 

“You should reach out to her,” You advise softly. “Since you guys were friends before, I’m sure asking her out just to catch up won’t seem so weird.” You grin at him. “You need to make your move.” 

It is then that Jungkook turns to look at you. He looks for a little longer this time, eyes focused entirely on you. Underneath the small crescent of the moon above, you are still able to make out his facial features. His cheeks, his nose, his eyes—the latter is glimmering, like he knows something that you don’t. 

“I’m working on that,” He mumbles softly. You turn your head back towards the road. 

. 

You wake up the next morning feeling groggy, dirty, and messy. Your head lifts up from a pillow you can only vaguely remember falling on, laying on top of a bed you only vaguely remember throwing yourself in. There’s sunlight pouring into the room, but it feels like early morning sun. There’s a crisp in the air that you can feel, that you see out of the window. Right outside is the gathering of bushes and trees, a bright blue sky.

You are in the motel. 

Slowly, you push yourself into a sitting position, until you’re resting atop the white linen of your bed. Across the room, snuggled in his own twin bed, is Jungkook. His lashes are fanning across his cheekbones, his lips are parted, and his breathing is slow and soft.

It isn’t until Jungkook shifts in bed that you realize you’ve been watching him like a creep. Hastily, you tear your gaze away and decide to focus your gaze down. You notice immediately that you are not underneath the blankets. Instead, you are lying underneath Jungkook’s jacket. 

You roll the jacket off your frame, discovering that you are still in last night’s clothes—which explains why you were feeling so groggy and discombobulated. You look across the floor of the hotel room. Your suitcase is near the foot of your bed, and your phone sits on your nightstand connected to your charger. 

Vaguely, you recall what had happened the previous night—how Jungkook drove into the hotel room nearing midnight and the exhaustion was so overpowering that you and Jungkook blindly asked for any room with two twin beds before following through and practically collapsing into your respected beds. 

You definitely did that, which explains why you were on top of the bed, why you’re still in yesterday’s clothes, and why Jungkook’s jacket was your blanket. Stealing another glance at Jungkook: underneath the blankets and in a different t-shirt—you can assume that he was able to take a shower before lying down. 

With a sigh, you push off Jungkook’s jacket and lay it down on the bed next to you. Hoping not to disturb Jungkook, you slide out of bed and lower your suitcase to the ground. After fishing out a new set of clothes, you decide to take a shower. 

The warmth from the shower is the best breath of fresh air you’ve gotten since hitting the road with Jungkook. It feels like your body is going through a battery recharge, and it’s one you take your time with. You step out of the shower, running the towel through your hair and drying yourself enough to slip on your outfit for the day. The towel is thrown around your neck as you step out of the shower, letting the steam follow you out of the bathroom. 

Jungkook is still sleeping as you step out, which is good otherwise you’d feel bad for having disturbed his sleep time. After all the driving he did yesterday, you figure he deserves a few extra hours regardless of what the schedule calls for. 

You continue running the towel through your hair as you pick up your phone. Strangely, you do not remember connecting it to a charger before knocking out, but you pick it up regardless to see the 9:00AM time across your screen. 

There’s a quiet that takes over, in which you’re sitting perched comfortably on your bed and scrolling through your phone as Jungkook continues to drift a few feet away from you. 

About thirty minutes seem to pass before Jungkook is moaning softly to himself, letting out a puff of air as he slowly opens his eyes. His arms extend above him, knocking into the headboard and making him curse softly to himself. His eyes open as he lowers his hands to inspect the damage before immediately looking over towards you. 

He blinks, a tired smile overtaking his lips as he arches his back into a stretch. “Hey,” He greets, voice rough and scratchy and making your heart clench. Damn thing. “You’re awake. You knocked out pretty quickly as soon as we got the room.” 

You laugh. “Yeah, I honestly figured that.” You pick up his jacket, as if he hadn’t been the one to lay it on you those hours ago. “Thanks for trying to help me get comfortable.” You gesture towards the nightstand. “Did you find my charger too?” 

Jungkook sits up as he continues a small round of stretches and yawns. “I did,” He says. “You were barely coherent, but made enough sense to tell me where it was in your bag. Sorry for going through it, by the way.” 

You shake your head, waving him off. “No worries. Thank you again, Jungkook.” 

The pair of you stare at each other for a few moments, before that silence is broken by Jungkook’s phone going off. You look down as Jungkook snatches his own phone off the nightstand. He scrolls through something, before placing it back. 

“So, what’s the plan for today?” You ask, bringing your fingers through your hair to comb and give you a distraction. 

“Oh! Right.” Jungkook swings his legs off the side of the bed. “We have a slower day today. The hotel I picked is only about five hours away? We’re driving through the mountains today, so there’s this place I want to visit that has a little restaurant and everything. It’ll be a cute pit stop.” 

You nod. “Awesome, okay.” You curl your fingers around the strands of now loose strands of hair. 

It takes another hour until you and Jungkook are packed up again and ready to leave. A quick stop to the lobby provides both of you with a bagel and cup of coffee each as your breakfast. All before you’re once again sliding into the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car. 

You roll your shoulders before clicking your seatbelt in. “Ready for another long day?” 

“Of course.” He digs through his center console, producing his aux cord. “Your mission,” He says dramatically, not unlike yesterday. “Should you choose to accept.” 

You laugh gently, taking the cord. “You in love with Mission Impossible or something? This is the second time in two days you’re quoting it to me.” 

And this is how your day starts off—talks of Mission Impossible films that bleed into conversations about movies. 

The day at 10 o’clock in the morning is bright and blue as Jungkook drives back onto the freeway and continues down the road. The first few hours consist of the surrounding flatland, of green grass and high mountains all around. Conversations between you and Jungkook are a little more scattered today, but there’s a new level of comfort about the situation. With both of you well rested, it invites a more relaxed atmosphere as you pass the occasional joke or story time between the pair of you. 

As the sun continues to travel higher in the sky, Jungkook’s car starts it’s approach up the mountain. The trees start enveloping the pair of you into a newer, higher world. Not only that, but whenever you and Jungkook reach a clearing, it exposes a dip of lakes, grass, and mountains. And you, always having enjoyed the views of nature, keep an open eye for every single thing. 

You see Jungkook’s choice of destination before he does, and you gasp excitedly. 

Up ahead is a cloud of pink, white, and red flowers covering an entire mountain side. There is an occasional pop of cedar trees amongst the covering of pink, white, and red, but the colors are so poignant that it captures your attention immediately. 

You point to it. “Is that where we’re going?” 

Jungkook grins. “Surprise!” He’s selected this spot before offering the invitation to let you come along, but you’re not complaining. You’ve never been to a flower farm before, despite having heard about them and seen pictures of them for most of your childhood. You continue to watch with wide eyes and bright smiles as Jungkook drives closer and closer to the destination, finally parking in the appropriate lot after paying the fee. 

You’re practically vibrating in your seat with excitement. “Jungkook, Jungkook, c’mon let’s go, let’s go!” You push on the latch and nearly tumble out onto the ground. You straighten to stand on your feet, before meeting Jungkook near the trunk of his car. Surprise, surprise, he pulls out his camera and loops the strap over his head. 

He’s grinning as he closes the trunk. “You’re a little excited, aren’t you?” 

“A little?” You echo, clapping your hands, seemingly unable to wipe the grin off your face. “Jungkook, this is a flower farm! It’s so exciting!” 

So you dart off with Jungkook following closely behind you. The parking lot is located at the top of the flower farm, so the tour around the fields is a downwards one towards the bottom. A small pathway maps out a route for you to follow as you take in the various lines of flowers and colors. One short glimpse at the brochure tells you that these are spring flowers, and that you and Jungkook are visiting during the perfect season. You and Jungkook continue through your makeshift tour in silence, taking in the flowers as well as the view that extends out far beyond your line of sight while Jungkook snaps photographs behind you. Words don’t need to be said when everything around you says it all. 

At the bottom of the field is a cafe, a small brick building with an outdoor seating area facing the now upward flower display. You and Jungkook order sandwiches and soda, and take your seats outside as you wait for your number to be called. There are a fair amount of people today at the field, most of which you can see ahead roaming through the flowers ahead. 

“Have you ever been to a flower farm before?” Jungkook asks, as he glances over at you to see how bright your expression is. 

You smile as you turn to him. “No, never. But thank you for bringing me here, it’s beautiful here.” 

Jungkook smiles, looking a little smug. He looks proud of himself. “I’ve always wanted to come here, so I’m glad I was able to bring you along.” It looks like he wants to say more, but the number that rests between Jungkook’s fingers is called out, interrupting the conversation. He returns a moment later with the food. “I actually wanted to ask you something,” He says, taking the sandwich plate off the tray and placing it in front of you. 

You take the napkins that are being offered to you. “What’s up?” 

He settles down into his seat. “I didn’t get to return the question that you asked me last night.” 

It takes you a second to realize what he’s referring to. Immediately, you feel yourself turn red as you press your lips together. You were definitely drowsy last night, and hadn’t put too much consideration in the aftermath of asking Jungkook about his college relationships. You instead try for a laugh, as you wave him off. “Well, you don’t need to ask me. It’s pretty boring.” 

“Nonsense,” Jungkook brushes off, taking another bite of his sandwich. “So tell me, did you get into any relationships in college?” 

You laugh, albeit a little nervously. “No, not really. I never even went on any dates before—I guess, like you, I just couldn’t see myself in any long term relationship with anyone that seemed to like me.” 

“Well, how about crushes on your end? Did you like anyone?” 

You gaze over at Jungkook—taking in his wide curious eyes, his soft voice, his contagious laugh. The memories of him waving at you in class, of him catching up to you afterwards to continue previous conversations, of him going out of his way to say hi to you in the library. Jungkook has always been thoughtful, considerate, and soft along the edges. How could you not have crushed on him during college? 

And how could you not continue to have these lingering feelings for him afterwards? 

You think about your own advice you had given to Jungkook. You should reach out to her. Since you guys were friends before, I’m sure asking her out just to catch up won’t seem so weird. You need to make your move. Could you even follow your own advice? 

You look down before Jungkook could start asking questions about your staring. “There was this one guy,” You start, trying for an uneasy laugh. “But I don’t think he ever noticed me. Well, that’s a lie. I guess we were kind of friends? I think it’s more along the lines of me being out of his league.” 

“That’s depressing,” Jungkook notes as he finishes his sandwich. You hardly even noticed him inhaling the thing. “How could you be out of a guy’s league? You’re so smart and funny and easy to talk to—if anything, a guy would probably be out of your league.” He leans forward, bringing you close enough where you can clearly make out the mole underneath his lip. “Tell me about this punk. So I can tell you he’s not good enough for you.” 

You laugh, keeping your gaze on him. You doubt he’d be so confident had he known about ‘this punk’. “He isn’t a punk,” You remark quietly. “He’s really nice, and really sweet. I was pretty quiet in college. Definitely introverted and kept to myself and had a hard time making friends. Although I would have honestly barely considered him a friend, he just made me feel like my time was meaningful and my attention was valuable to him.” Jungkook’s eyes continue to bore into yours. “If anything, I just wish he knew how much I admire him.” 

Jungkook’s gaze is unwavering across your face, once again displaying that unreadable expression. Yet, despite that, something glimmers in his eyes and he seems to come to an understanding you yourself don’t know about. That glimmer keeps swimming across the orbs, even as he switches his gaze between your eyes. They flicker down to your lips for a second, and your heart stutters in your chest. 

Jungkook coughs, pulling away from you as he seems to hyper-focus his attention on the soda still in front of him. He looks shy as he steals another glance at you from across the table. “He might not have made you feel that important if you were too scared to tell him how you felt.” 

You look down at your sandwich and take another bite. Something about the way he’s staring holes into the side of your face tells you that he knows something that you don’t. You wonder what he’s thinking. 

Jungkook wears that thoughtful expression for the rest of the visit to the flower field, as the pair of you return back to his car and slide back in your seats. He stays quiet as you resume the trip, slowly making your way back onto the freeway and towards your second motel. 

This kind of quiet is different than the previous silences the pair of you have grown to share over the past twenty-four hours. Unlike the comfortable moments of unspoken words, this is more tense. Like he knows something that you don’t. 

You don’t know what to say, or how to break that silence. You don’t know if perhaps you said something you shouldn’t have, or said something to make him uncomfortable. All of those thoughts are not pleasant ones. 

Jungkook stays quiet for most of the drive through the mountain. The music you have selected is loud enough that seems to drown the tense atmosphere, but the questions still press themselves deeply into your mind. What is he thinking about? 

And worse of all: did he know you were talking about him? 

You and Jungkook only speak a handful of times during the trip. He asks you if you need to use the restroom, if you’re hungry, and if you could play him your favorite anime openings. The pair of you have a handful of laughs about your mutual love for Haikyuu and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, but most of the drive to the motel is ridden out in silence. 

The pair of you reach the hotel around dinnertime, definitely nowhere as exhausted as you had been the previous night, but just as eager to finally reach your destination. The tension between you and Jungkook has eased slightly, so you can only assume that perhaps he has overcome whatever was bothering him. You yourself have pushed the thought of Jungkook knowing the truth out of your mind. After all, if he had known, you assume he would have brought it up. Or at least called for an Uber to send you home. You assume you would have provided some sort of reaction for the two of you to talk about. But alas, those thoughts follow a conversation that has not happened, and will probably never happen, because you’re sure that you’ll never have to be in a situation that forces your feelings to go out of control once again—! 

“Hi,” Jungkook returns to the hotel clerk behind the desk, a girl to be about your age, who is flickering her gaze between you and Jungkook. A flicker in her eyes tells you that she already has multiple thoughts and assumptions about your relationship. “Do you have a room with two beds?” 

“Oh!” The girl blinks, momentarily looking taken aback. “Of course, let me check.” She turns her attention to the computer screen in front of her. Her eyebrows furrow together. “I’m sorry sir, we only have rooms with one bed available—either a full, queen, or king-size mattress.” 

Jungkook makes a noise in the back of his throat as he taps his credit card on the desk. Just watching from the side, you notice how he swallows, how he looks down, how his cheeks turn red. He turns to you after a moment. “D-Do you, uh, do you mind?” 

It takes you a second to realize what Jungkook is asking. He’s asking if you’d be okay with sharing a bed with him. Him: your college crush, the guy you never really lost feelings for. 

You turn red too. “U-Um…” You press your lips together and swallow. “S-Sure,” You manage, waving your hands out in front of you. “I-I don’t mind. I-If you don’t mind, of course.” 

“I-I don’t mind either.” Jungkook, however, looks like he’s about to combust. He looks a little lost again. He blinks once, twice, and seems to realize that he’s supposed to hand the woman behind the desk his card. “Uh, whichever room is the cheapest.” 

“That’ll be the room with the full-size bed.” She flickers her gaze between the two of you. “If that’s okay.” 

“O-Of course,” He stammers back, allowing the girl to take the card. He looks at you. “Do you mind staying here? I have to go to the bathroom real quick.” 

“S-Sure, go ahead.” A part of you wants to hit your head on the desk. What is happening to you? Why is the mere thought of sharing a bed with Jungkook turning you into a pile of mush? You’re a grown ass woman—! 

“So the two of you on vacation or something?” The woman behind the desk asks. She’s still in the middle of scanning Jungkook’s credit card. 

You try for a smile. “Kind of, we’re going to a friend’s wedding.” 

“I see, that sounds fun.” She smiles. “You know, I have to be honest, I was a little surprised he asked for two beds. You guys would make a cute couple.” 

At the label, you start to turn red. “O-Oh n-no, we’re not a couple at all. That’s very flattering, b-but yeah we’re not together.” 

“Oh, I know,” The girl rebuffs. Her smile looks more like a grin. She places Jungkook’s credit card on the desk, along with a receipt and a pen. “I hope the full size bed will change that.” She gives you a wink. 

You part your lips, unsure what to make of the situation. “What—!” 

“I’m back,” Jungkook says, sliding up from behind you and making you jump slightly. “What did I miss?” 

“Uh…” You wonder if your face is too red or not. It certainly feels that way. “Here!” You push him forward towards the desk. “She scanned your credit card. You just need to sign and we’ll be on our way.” 

If Jungkook notices the stiffness in your posture, he doesn’t comment as he leans forward to sign the receipt. Just over Jungkook’s shoulder is the worker, looking at you with a now shit-eating grin across her lips. Several questions ping through your mind, but you don’t get to ask any of those because Jungkook is turning around with his credit card in hand. 

“Uh, ready to get going?” 

“Sure!” You say, voice a few several pitches higher and you return to wanting the ground to swallow you whole. Jungkook leads the way out of the lobby, and you dare one last glance back towards the woman behind the counter. 

She’s waving a slip of paper in her hand. 

You turn back to Jungkook. “Hey Jungkook, give me a second. I think we forgot to grab something at the desk.” 

It sort of feels like a walk of shame to reach the worker behind the counter, who is still grinning at the sight of you and your internal struggles. She hands you the slip of paper, mouths something that makes you go red, before you’re turning back towards Jungkook. “Good luck,” She had whispered. 

Before you’re reaching Jungkook, you open the paper. At the very top is the WiFi password. 

Underneath the WiFi password, in what you can only assume is her handwriting, is one sentence. Fate said you guys only get one bed- don’t worry, I think he likes you too :-) 

“What was that about?” Jungkook asks. 

You shove the paper into your pocket. “The WiFi password,” You supply. 

The walk to the hotel room is quiet as Jungkook leads the way through the different hallways, corridors, and numbers on plaques. That tense silence is back as he guides the two of you, stopping only when he reaches the number that matches the one on the index card. He gives you a look, and inserts the card key into the slot. The door beeps, and he pushes open the door to find, true to the word of the lady behind the counter, one full-sized bed in the middle of the room. 

For the first few hours, it’s easy to ignore that full-sized elephant in the room. Jungkook takes out his laptop and you guys watch your favorite season of Haikyuu together—it’s season two—or you guys linger about on your phones. It isn’t until nighttime falls into your bones, into your minds, that you realize that you really need to address the new situation. 

“I’m gonna take a shower first, if that’s okay,” You say, already sliding off the bed to gather your belongings from your suitcase. Jungkook is humming along to the Haikyuu ending song, but he stops long enough to accept you taking the first shower. He watches you as you fish pajamas out from your suitcase. “Hey, Jungkook…” You start. “Are you sure you’re cool with this?” You gesture to the bed. “I can sleep on the floor. They give you extra bedding for a reason…” 

“What? No, of course not, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.” He moves until his knees are pressed into the mattress. “And I’m cool with this. Promise.” He hesitates. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” 

“Y-Yeah,” You manage, straightening into a standing position with your clothes in hand. “I don’t really move around when I’m sleeping. And I trust you, Jungkook.” You keep your gaze on each other until you break it first, turning around to step into the bathroom. 

You step out many minutes later, hair freshly washed and feeling much more relaxed than before. Jungkook has moved to the desk in the corner of the hotel room, typing away at some emails on his laptops. He does, however, whirl around upon hearing you exit the bathroom. The sight of you in your sweats, t-shirt, and damp hair makes his eyes linger. 

You merely tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You can go now,” You say quietly. 

Jungkook nods. “Thanks.” 

Breaking that eye contact again, you turn to the bed and lift the blankets to slide under the covers. You rest your head on the pillow, and immediately start to drift away. 

You are brought back after what only feels like a few minutes, when you hear a light switch turn off followed by the blanket next to you lifting up. You turn slightly towards the other side of the bed. “Jungkook?” You whisper. 

A stillness. “Ah shit, I’m sorry. I was trying to be sneaky.” 

“Mmm…” You mumble softly, turning your body 180 degrees in order to face him. You can vaguely make out the shadow of Jungkook’s outline. “Don’t worry. I’m a really light sleeper. Come on in.” 

There is a shift in the blankets until you feel the additional weight of Jungkook’s figure crawling in next to you. The knowledge that Jungkook is lying right next to you turns your blood hot both with anxiety and because Jungkook brings in a new wave of heat underneath the covers. For a cool spring night, it’s comforting. But also further anxiety-inducing. 

Jungkook shifts and even though the pair of you are on opposite sides of the bed, you can still feel the warmth radiating off his body. In the silence of the hotel room, you can hear Jungkook breathing. 

“Is this okay?” It’s Jungkook asking. His voice is quiet, soothing, and very close to your face. You realize that you guys are facing each other. 

Still, you have to give an answer. “Y-Yeah,” You reply softly. “Goodnight, Jungkook.” 

“Goodnight.” 

You turn onto your back. You try to go to sleep, you really do. But your heart is pounding, and rather than the blood filling your ears, it’s the sound of Jungkook’s breathing. 

“Y/N, you still awake?” Jungkook asks softly. 

You snort. “It’s only been a minute.” 

Jungkook smiles. “Sorry. I just… I have a question. A thought, actually.” 

“What is it?” 

“Well, okay, I don’t want to come off as arrogant or self-centered, but it’s just a question and just this thought that I have…” 

“Jungkook.” You turn back to face him. “You can ask me the question. I don’t mind.” 

“Well, alright.” Jungkook shifts. He’s a little closer now, you can make out the outline of his face. Everything looks slightly more defined now, definitely a result of your eyes adjusting to the darkness. “When you were talking about the guy you had a crush on… you know, when I asked if there was someone you were interested in while we were in college.” 

“Oh, I remember.” Your heart feels fuzzy, even though you have no idea what he’s going to ask you. 

“Okay, um. I guess I just wanted to know. Were you talking about me? 

The world seems to stop tilting on its axis—and all the consequences of that follow along. Everything around you slows to a grind: your heart stops in your chest, and all the air drains out of your lungs. You hold your breath, feeling as if your body has just been dipped underwater. Thousands of thoughts ping through your mind. You feel like that episode of Spongebob where all the file cabinets in your brain are catching aflame. You suddenly feel like you have no thoughts, but too many thoughts at the same time. 

Above all, one question rises above all the rest: how did Jungkook know? 

You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts that you don’t hear your name being called. It isn’t until you feel a hand at your shoulder do you jolt. “H-Huh?” 

“S-Sorry.” Jungkook sounds a lot more nervous now. “You weren’t responding.” 

“I… I was thinking,” You reply lamely. 

A pause. “What’s your answer?” Were you talking about me?

You swallow. Should you tell the truth? Or should you deny everything with the hopes that Jungkook will forget this conversation ever existed? 

The words spill out before you can think of a proper answer. “What if I was?” 

Jungkook is quiet for a moment. “Well…” He starts up again, inching forward towards you. Every move he makes is amplified in your ear, every squeak of the mattress and every rustle of clothing echoed in the small space that is your hotel room. “I’d be kinda frustrated, to be honest. Because when I was talking about my own crush, it might have been about you.” 

At Jungkook’s confession, the world seems to come crashing down on you as everything around tries to catch up to you. Immediately, you assume that perhaps you hadn’t heard Jungkook correctly, or maybe you’re completely misinterpreting what he’s trying to say to you. 

In a perfect world, maybe you’d say something witty and smart. Maybe you’d play along until he snapped. Maybe you’d be fluent in courting talk and understand exactly what he’s trying to say to you. 

But this isn’t a perfect world, and you are neither witty nor smart. You most certainly are not aware of flirtations. You need boys to be as straightforward as possible. Which is why you utter the most comprehensible: “What?” 

You feel a warmth at your hip—Jungkook’s hand against your skin. “Ahhhh.” Jungkook starts, not at all sounding fearful but rather casual. Still the underlying case of shyness, however, because this is still Jungkook. “I forgot you sometimes need simple things spelled out for you. Remember when you emailed our Arts History professor three times because you kept forgetting what font she wanted the assignment in?” 

You flush—Arts History was the class you and Jungkook were forced to pair up together for. Maybe you would have protested it more had you known Jungkook would turn out to be a little shit over it. “That was a one time thing! You’ve been bringing it up for as long as I’ve known you!” 

Jungkook giggles, pulling you closer so your face is against his collarbone and his chin rests on your shoulder. “Shh, okay, okay, I’m sorry.” 

Your face is burning at the feeling of your bodies so close together, your fingers pressed against his shirt and your nose against his skin. He smells like floral fabric softener. “Jungkook…?” You whisper softly, breath fanning his neck. 

Jungkook tilts his head to rest gently against your temple. He stays quiet for a moment, absorbing the moment. “If you did have a crush on me in college, it would be frustrating. Because I had a crush on you too.” 

This time it’s straightforward, just like how you’ve always wanted it. Why can’t you seem to reply? 

“Oh.” 

“I know.” 

You curl your fingers around Jungkook’s shirt. “What if…” You start slowly. “What if I said I still had those feelings?” 

Jungkook seems to think about his answer. “I’d say that I do too.” 

You swallow, nodding in a way that allows him to feel the movement. “Okay then.” 

Without a warning, Jungkook moves to curl his whole arm around your frame. This brings you even closer together. He noses your hairline. “Go to sleep,” He whispers softly. “We can talk about this tomorrow.” 

A part of you wants to say no—that holding off on confessions isn’t what happens in novels or tv shows or movies. But the larger part of you knows that you won’t be able to have a proper discussion like this when you are weak, tired, and vulnerable. Your heart stalls at his consideration, allowing yourself to be content just like this: asleep, cuddling with Jeon Jungkook as you’ve imagined since you first developed your crush. 

It’s much better than the fantasy. 

.

You wake up the next morning with Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you, his soft breathing against your neck and his lips dusting the skin of your neck. There’s a new kind of comfort you find being held like this, and a part of you wants to melt back into his arms. You think you can pretend to be asleep just to stay here a little longer, but the urgency you have to pee and get the day started becomes too pressing. 

Your previous assumptions of Jungkook being a heavy sleeper are confirmed as you manage to untangle yourself from him without so much as a whine from his end. By the time you finish with the bathroom, Jungkook is just beginning to push himself into a sitting position. 

You linger near the foot of the bed. “Good morning,” You greet, almost nervously. For good reason to—the memory of last night is vague but defined well enough where you aren’t sure what the next course of action should be. It’s not like your college ever offered a course about what to do when your crush admits to liking you back. 

Jungkook looks at you from across the bed. He gives you a small smile, a reassuring one. “Morning,” He says back. “How did you sleep last night?” 

You twist your hands together. “Pretty good, actually. How about you?” 

“Me too.” He adjusts his position so he can crawl over to you. He slides his legs over the side of the bed right next to you. He brings his hands towards you, palms up. Although he’s close enough to reach you, he doesn’t. Instead, he asks: “Can I?” 

You don’t say anything, you merely rest your hand in his. He tugs you towards him, stopping only when you’re standing between his legs. He still keeps his fingers curled around yours, turning your hand up to play with your fingers. 

He looks up at you, a soft smile across his lips. “Hi.” 

You smile back. “Hi.” 

He laces your fingers together, resting them between your bodies. “I guess now for the bigger question… how are you feeling?” 

You look down at your hands, deciding you like the way his larger hands cover yours. “H-How did you know I was talking about you?” You ask instead, looking over at him. 

Jungkook shifts his gaze away for a moment. “I don’t know,” He admits earnestly. “You were just looking at me back at the flower field and I had a feeling. And I really think a part of me was hoping you were talking about me.” 

Unable to help yourself, you feel the side of your mouth quirk up into a small smile. “What would you have done if I wasn’t talking about you?” 

He exhales in a laugh. “Honestly, I might have just driven out in the middle of the night and gone over a bridge or something.” 

You laugh, trying to diffuse your smile by pressing your lips but it only works so well. “I was really surprised to hear you liked me back.” 

“Of course!” He exclaims, looking momentarily shocked that you would feel this way. “I wasn’t messing around when I said you were smart, funny, and easy to talk to. That’s what made me really like you when we first met. Whenever we talked you just felt so real and approachable—like I could just be myself around you. And even now, seeing you after graduating and realizing you’re still all of those things. It just makes me like you more.” 

You feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest. You’ve never thought of yourself in the way Jungkook is describing you—you always just assumed that you were in the background, that you’d never be enough. 

Jungkook is looking at you, his eyes big and wide and full of truth. “Is that weird?” He asks. 

You shake your head immediately. “No, no it’s not weird at all.” You shrug a shoulder, giving him a meek smile. “It’s really sweet, actually.” 

Jungkook grins at that, heaving out a breath as a sign of his lowered defenses. “I think you’re sweet too.” 

You groan at that, throwing your head back as Jungkook breaks into a series of giggles. “You’re corny.” 

“You’re not complaining,” He points out. This is true. 

You shrug. “I guess that means I’m expecting us to catch up on three years of terrible flirting.” 

The smile slides off his face. “You’re right.” He brings your joined hands closer together until your whole body is standing closer to his. “Can I ask to kiss you?” 

The four letter K word makes your heart stutter in your chest once more. Your hands are so close to his chest that you can feel his own heart beating, and the thought of Jungkook being equally nervous for this gives you enough confidence to return his question. “Why don’t you ask and find out?” 

He smiles, a bunny smile that crinkles his eyes. “Touche. Can I kiss you?” 

You smile back. “Yes…” You whisper, leaning down just enough for Jungkook to crane his neck up in order to meet each other halfway. It’s just a closed-mouth kiss, a soft weight against your lips.

It’s one that Jungkook pulls away from before you can really enjoy it, really ponder asking for more. “Sorry,” He says immediately, pointing to his mouth. “Morning breath.” 

The pair of you stare at each other for a moment, before bursting out into laughter. That tense atmosphere is gone, replaced inside with that previously casual and comfortable air—as you step away from Jungkook and let him get his morning started. Except this time, the air is filled with open lingering stares, shy smiles, and Jungkook taking your suitcase wordlessly as you exit your hotel room. 

By the time you load into your car, it’s nearing noon and the gas tank in Jungkook’s car is almost empty. The pair of you agree in another champion’s breakfast—gas station food. 

“I swear, we’re both going to have terrible breakout tomorrow during the wedding,” You point out. Despite your words, you still tear into your Nacho Cheese Doritos with the aggression of a gorilla. “I’m going to photograph horribly. Irene will be so embarrassed.” 

“You photograph horribly? Inconceivable!” He says the word just as it is said in The Princess Bride, which makes you burst into another fit of laughter. 

The afternoon pans out the same way it has for the past two days. Jungkook drives onto the freeway, you decide the music, and the conversations fade in and out. Neither of you talk about the events of the previous night or of what happened in the morning—but the way Jungkook reaches out to laces your fingers together is more than enough. 

The town Jungkook has selected to stop for the evening is a five hour drive from the wedding venue—and it’s an actual city space this time, with restaurants and grocery stores and apartments. As soon as Jungkook tells you this information, you are bursting with excitement. It’s been two days since the pair of you actually stopped and lingered in a city environment and you miss it. 

It takes another whole day of driving to reach the city destination, as the first alert you get is the increasing number of cars that have joined you on the freeway. These more busy freeways guide you into the city, where you are greeted with the first sight of buildings, sidewalks, restaurants, and parking lots in days. 

Even though most of these landmarks are simple flashes that you and Jungkook pass through on the way to the hotel he has selected, you keep your eyes glued out of the window in order to take in as much of the surrounding area as you can. You continue to watch as the immediate high rises become more sporadic and spread out, until he’s finally pulling into the hotel. The sun is just setting behind the many buildings along the horizon. Lots of other cars are parked in the parking lot. You can hear other cars, buses, and trunks driving around the background—and you feel strangely comforted by this discovery. 

“Are you okay with sharing another bed today?” Jungkook asks as he guides the pair of you into the lobby. “I may or may not have called to make a reservation earlier when you were in the bathroom.” 

You laugh, feeling giddy at the thought of Jungkook taking the initiative to continue progressing your now slow-growing relationship. “Was that all they had left?” You ask teasingly as you make your way to the counter. 

Jungkook smiles down at you. “Perhaps I didn’t ask…” 

Your lips part. “Jungkook!” 

“What?” He’s laughing now. “I think I’m gonna bow out of any excuse to cuddle with you now that you’ve given me a taste of what that’s like?” 

You’re gasping in the midst of your laughter. “You’re terrible,” You manage. 

So Jungkook checks in—true to his word, he has reserved a single full-sized bed for the room. 

“Hey, so, I was thinking,” He starts as he’s following the map provided to him by the employee with directions about getting to his appropriate room. This hotel is slightly bigger than the off-the-road ones you and Jungkook pulled into, so it takes a little longer to find the room. After a few minutes of turning the map over, you two eventually find the room. 

“What’s up?” You ask as you push open the door and roll your suitcase into the space, with Jungkook following closely behind you. 

“Come here,” Jungkook requests gently, watching as you let go of your suitcase and make your way towards him. You move into his space easily, allowing him to hold you by the waist. “Since we’ve both admitted to missing out on three years of courting, flirting, and dating—I think we should go out to an actual restaurant to have an actual date.” 

You lean back slightly and give him a slightly shocked look. “Really?” 

“Yes!” He says. “Besides, someone has to put their foot down and say that eating only McDonalds and gas station hot dogs is not the right way to go.”

You laugh at that. “True, but we were having so much fun!” 

“Nope!” He exclaims, shaking his head. “The foot is going down, we’re going to an actual restaurant for dinner. Get changed, take a shower, whatever you need to do to freshen up.” There’s a finality in his words as he finally steps away from you, the smile of sweetness still on his lips. 

The restaurant Jungkook picks after scrolling through Yelp and other lists of recommendations is a corner Italian place that apparently serves the best Linguini and clams—a dish that you really enjoy. So you put something together much more presentable than your usual round of sweatpants and baggy t-shirts—replacing the sweatpants with black jeans and giving yourself a cream colored cropped sweater. It makes Jungkook’s eyes widen all the same. He’s clad in his usual black jeans and oversized coat that is perfect for the spring breeze. 

Since the restaurant is within walking distance of the hotel, you and Jungkook agree to chill off on the driving just enough to stretch your legs and actually have a walk for once—all while celebrating the final night of the road trip. 

“I was a little worried about this at first, to be honest with you,” You admit softly to Jungkook, long after the pair of you have been seated in a corner booth and have ordered your food. You’re circling the pasta noodles around your fork, and Jungkook is watching with a touch of amusement and adoration in his eyes. 

“Not gonna lie, so was I,” Jungkook returns back with an equally meek smile. 

You gape at him. “You invited me though!” 

“I did!” Jungkook exclaims with a laugh, looking down at his own order of food. “Me inviting you was honestly a spur of the moment thing. Me catching up to you, however, was me trying to be brave.” 

“You seemed pretty brave throughout most the trip,” You point out 

Jungkook shakes his head, situating his arms in a cross motion. “Nah dude that was just all a very well thought out facade. A part of me was expecting it to go terribly so I could at least walk away knowing that I built you up in my mind and the fantasy of that was better than the reality.” He must see the look of uncertainty casting a shadow over your mind because he immediately cuts back in. “Just so you know, the reality is much better than anything I could have conjured up.” 

You lower your chin slightly, staring over at Jungkook. You bring one shoulder up into a half-hearted shrug, maybe to showcase a certain level of carelessness. “What were you conjuring up then?” 

“Oh, I don’t know if you want to go there right now,” He rebuffs, looking a little red in the cheeks. “I think we should start slow. Refer to the PG thoughts, if you will.” 

You laugh, focusing your gaze momentarily on the last of your pasta. You had sorted through the clams, since they weren’t your favorite things to eat. “Jungkook, are you admitting to me that you have thoughts above PG?” 

“Oh shit, that wasn’t my intention!” 

You giggle. “I’m messing with you, Jungkook!” 

He pouts. “Don’t do that.” He rests his hand on the table, palm up, inviting for you to take it. “I just want to spend today with you, and take it slow—I just want to hold your hand and kiss you and lay with you and just be with you in the way I couldn’t be with you in college. Is that too weird?” 

You look down, pressing your lips together, trying not to squeal and definitely not trying to throw yourself off the chair. You look back over at him and squeeze his hand. “That’s not too weird at all. That’s actually really sweet. Honestly, those are things I probably would have asked for regardless. I don’t really know the rules of dating—I never really went out that often.” 

Jungkook smiles sweetly back at you, he brings your hands up to kiss the back. “I’ll give you a few pointers then, let’s get going.” 

After the check is paid for—it ends up being a split between the two, it’s the best compromise you can come up with considering he wants to take you out but you want to pay him back for driving this far—the pair of you emerge back into the city space. Jungkook’s hand is still wrapped around yours, using that connection point to pull you close to him. 

“Now this move,” Jungkook explains, beginning to lead you both back to your hotel room. “Is when the gentleman walks the lady home, because their date went by smoothly and he wants to see her for as long as possible.” 

You laugh. “I’m enjoying this so far.” 

The pair of you continue down the sidewalk, using the time it’ll take to walk back to the hotel to walk off the food in your stomach. You resume your conversation, giggling and laughing all the same until you’re walking through the lobby of the hotel and slowly making your way to your hotel room. 

Right before you step inside, Jungkook stops you. “Normally, the front door is where the gentleman drops the lady off, and they talk about how well the date went.” 

“Oh, well, in that case, this was so nice, Jungkook,” You remark, beaming at Jungkook’s own smile. “I’m glad you convinced me to eat real food for once.” 

“You’re welcome—I had fun too.” Jungkook slides closer to you. You, completely hypnotized by his next movements, watch as he cups your face with his hand to angle you upwards. “This is the part where we have a first kiss, because the stars are lined up for this. And because I really want to.” 

You smile, curling one of your hands around the wrist near your face. “Seeing as we’ve already had our first kiss, how about a second one?” 

Jungkook smiles back, eyes lidded towards your mouth. “I guess that’ll work.” His lesson on dating, it seems, is done, as he leans in to kiss you. You suck in a breath as he covers your lips with his. It’s deeper than the first time he kissed you—which had been more of a peck with a side of morning breath. But now you’re both awake, tasting like wine, and drunk off each other. It’s a more real kiss. 

You whimper as Jungkook’s tongue runs over your bottom lip, before slipping into your mouth. It’s a sensation you can get completely lost in, until Jungkook pulls away. 

Under the hallway light, you can make out his flushed cheeks, his wet lips, his dark gaze. 

Immediately, Jungkook is pulling you to his side before he starts digging through the pockets of his jeans. “Alright, we’re going inside right now.” 

You lean into his shoulder. “I thought I was supposed to invite you inside, Jeon? What happened to giving me pointers on first dates?” 

“Screw that,” He retorts, practically shoving the hotel door open. He turns around to face you. “Now, this is our hotel room. And I want to kiss you in private.” 

Your laughter is drowned out as Jungkook tugs you by the wrist into the room. 

.

Under different circumstances, waking up next to each other after a first date would hit you with a wave of anxiety and maybe even a vague sense of embarrassment at letting someone you like see you in such a vulnerable position. 

Right now, however, under the morning sunlight within the covers of your shared hotel bed, you just feel happy and content. You wake up on your side, with an arm resting over Jungkook’s chest and his fingers curling around your own. There is an immediate feeling of giddiness that overtakes you, because it’s hard for you to believe that this is happening. Someone you’ve liked and continue to like actually returning your feelings? That has always been such a foreign concept to you. 

You don’t know how long you continue laying in bed until Jungkook starts shifting next to you, signalling his wake. You watch as his eyes slowly peel open, laced with grogginess but still looking unfairly attractive that there are butterflies in your stomach. 

Jungkook lets out a sigh, as he looks down at you. A tired smile takes over his expression. “Morning.” 

“Good morning,” You reply back, voice soft and a little shy. “Happy wedding day.” 

That is true. Today is Irene’s wedding—an event you and Jungkook will arrive at in nearly five hours. There’s a strange sort of knot that is beginning to twist itself in your stomach, a knowledge that something good is coming to a close but a fear in the unknown as to what this would mean regarding your relationship with Jungkook. Neither of you have laid down groundwork for your relationship—if this even is a relationship to begin with. You may be inexperienced with this kind of stuff, but you’re sure that one date and making out on a hotel bed doesn’t immediately constitute an exclusive relationship. 

If Jungkook notices the tension in your form, he doesn’t say anything. He kisses your temple and grumbles something about wanting to get the day started. He mentions something about not having to worry about getting dressed for the wedding straightaway—that he has reserved a room at the hotel some of the guests of the wedding would be staying at, which is where you will be getting ready before the event. You nod, hearing pieces of his words, but a lot of it gets lost in your own thoughts. 

Is it okay to ask questions about where you stand with Jungkook? Is it foolish of you to even bother wondering? You’ve seen movies and have had conversations with friends about guys who dismissed questions like that as ‘moving too fast’. You don’t want to scare Jungkook off, but you also need to know that you’re not wasting your time.

You remain in bed, staring up at the ceiling as you sigh and try to organize through your thoughts. You also try to break down how the past three days have been. 

However, trying to do so proves to be a difficult challenge, as Jungkook’s phone starts buzzing excessively on his side of the nightstand—it seems like he is getting a series of text messages from someone. 

You know you shouldn’t be looking or prying, but the constant binging of alerts only eats at your nerves more. You turn in the bed towards Jungkook’s side, picking up the device to search for the silence switch along the sides. The screen, however, lights up and you immediately see a name you have not seen or heard since college. 

Jennie (9:53AM): hey jungkook !! just thought I’d ask where you want to meet up before the wedding starts 

Jennie (9:53AM): since we’re each other’s plus ones, I think we should show up together but idk let me know what you think 

Jennie (9:53AM): I’m excited to see you again and catch up, it’s been so long !! :) 

You freeze, feeling your body overload with information and questions come flooding into your mind. At first, you think you reread the message wrong. You think that maybe Jennie is texting the wrong person. But after the third or fourth time, you realize that this isn’t a dream. That Jungkook already has a plus one to the wedding, and it isn’t you. 

More than that, it’s Jennie. 

Jennie is also someone you went to college with, and someone that you only heard of between the grape vines and therefore is someone that is only vaguely recognizable. But you definitely know her. Jennie had been one of Irene’s friends, president of her sorority—and labeled some of the nicest people on campus. Even just from rumors and the one time you ran into her around the school, you can see it. Jennie is nice, beautiful, friendly, and outgoing. All the things you are not. 

And now, she’s Jungkook’s plus one to the wedding. And Jungkook did not tell you. 

Your lips part as your head starts to spin. Why didn’t Jungkook tell you he already had a plus one to Irene’s wedding? Maybe he did not owe you the explanation, and maybe you should never have assumed he’d be your plus one to the wedding. 

The thought of you assuming Jungkook would be your date to the wedding fills you with a vague mortification—why did you have to go ahead and assume? 

Your mind starts to spiral as you fall into the depths of overthinking. Now you were set to attend a wedding alone, with no plus one, and surrounded by people you don’t know. All while watching Jungkook sit with Jennie, eat with Jennie, and dance with Jennie. 

Holy fuck, holy fuck, what were you going to do? You can’t go to this wedding alone. You can’t confront Jungkook about this—you’re not even supposed to be touching his phone or looking through his phone. He would definitely be upset. How could he not be? 

At once, the tears collect in your eyes. How could this be happening? Seconds ago, you had been so content and happy, excited to attend this wedding with Jungkook. Seconds ago, you had been confident about your feelings, and Jungkook’s feelings in return. From all the kisses he showered you in, the date, the talking, the confessing—how could you not feel that way? 

Had Jungkook just been pulling your leg? After all, he did have three years to talk to you, to go out with you. Why hadn’t he said something sooner? Is he here right now: talking to you and laughing with you because he hadn’t found anyone and knows that you would do anything for him? 

In the background, you can vaguely make out the shower in the bathroom turn off, signalling Jungkook’s near completion with the bathroom. At once, it feels like you’re in a car that has enforced sudden breaks and has sent you flying against the dashboard—like you can’t breathe. 

Hastily, you rest Jungkook’s phone back on the nightstand and roll back over to your side of the bed. You blink quickly, trying to rid of the tears that have collected in your eyes while also trying to calm the lump in the back of your throat. 

Just as you’re starting to get a handle back on your feelings, the bathroom door opens and you can vaguely make out Jungkook’s humming as he exits. The fact that he sounds so carefree while you’re hurting only a handful of feet away almost makes the tears come back in. But you’ve learned how to hide your emotions well. 

Jungkook’s soft laugh brings you out of your thoughts. “Still in bed?” He asks jokingly, sitting on the edge and placing a hand on your ankle. You try not to stiffen at the gesture. “You know, even though we’re getting dressed at a different hotel, we still need to get going.” 

You take in a breath. “I’m comfortable here,” You exclaim, sitting up and facing Jungkook. He’s looking as wide-eyed, easy-going, and comfortable as always. You’re not sure how long you can keep up the facade of being okay. “I was just waiting for you, that’s all.” 

You don’t wait for him to reply as you slide off the bed, grab your clothes from your suitcase, and lock yourself in the bathroom. You ignore the lump in your throat as you brush your teeth, as you get your day started. Finally, you look up at your own reflection in the mirror. Unlike previous times, when there had been a glimmer to your gaze—you don’t know you recognize the now disheartened individual before you. 

You exit the bathroom and immediately turn to pack up your suitcase once more, ignoring Jungkook in the process. The boy is on his phone, typing something—probably a text message. Maybe he’s responding to Jennie, confirming their date for tonight, as he remains completely oblivious to your feelings. 

The thought brings the tears back to your eyes. 

“Ready to go?” Jungkook asks, all smiles and soft eyes as he slides off the bed to face you. 

You don’t look at him as you shoulder your carry-on bag and straighten into a standing position. “Yeah.” You don’t mean for the tone to come out dry and unresponsive, but you’re too focused on trying to get the tears out of your throat. 

You miss the way the smile slowly slips off Jungkook’s face as he watches you move towards the door. 

Jungkook moves towards you, reaching forward to take your suitcase from you just as he’s done for the past few days. 

You, however, brush him off. “It’s okay, Jungkook.” You pull open the door and make your way down the hallway without looking back to see if he’s following closer behind you. You don’t need his help, you don’t need his pity. You don’t need him to do these things, to lead you on—especially if he was going to end up with some other girl at then end of the day. 

You stay quiet as you make your way to Jungkook’s car. Jungkook steals the occasional glance in your direction, seeming to finally realize that something is wrong. 

He, however, doesn’t say anything until you’re back on the freeway—on the five hour drive towards the wedding venue. “Everything okay?” 

You’re playing with your hair, but you stop long enough to spare him a short glance. You’re not even looking at his face, you’re looking at the chair he’s seated on. “What do you mean?” 

Jungkook clears his throat. “You’ve been really quiet since I got out of the bathroom. You…” He gestures to the center console. “You’re not even playing any music.” He tries for a smile. “I’d really like to listen to your ‘everything’ playlist.” 

“Sorry, I’m not really in a music-listening mood right now,” You whisper, realizing that you should probably cover up your ass a little better than you are currently. “S-Sorry, I think it was something at the restaurant yesterday. I’m not feeling super hot right now.” 

“Oh no, do we need to stop by a pharmacy or something? I can run in and get some stomach machine or whatever—!” 

“Jungkook, it’s fine.” 

Maybe it’s the finality of your tone, or the sharper edge in your voice, but Jungkook quiets down again. One glance in his direction shows you the furrow of his eyebrows, the set of his jawline—he looks hurt and confused. And that kills you inside. 

A small part of you wants you just lay all your cards on the table—to admit your side of the story and let him know about the texts and the hurt feeling still eating itself at your heart. 

But another part of you, the bigger part of you, doesn’t want to give Jungkook that power. You don’t want to be the one to crack first, to be the one who gets hurt first. So you refuse to say anything, settling deeper and deeper into the seat of Jungkook’s car. Contrary to your initial thoughts, he doesn’t plug in his own phone to play his own music. He simply allows the pair of you to bathe in silence. 

Without the music to distract you, without Jungkook trying to make conversation, it forces your mind to linger on the events of the early morning. Maybe Jungkook didn’t tell you because it was obvious to him that the pair of you would never have been a plus one to the wedding in general. He’s probably hurt because Jungkook can’t get his way with you. 

The realization that he doesn’t even have the consideration to warn you ahead of time that an invitation for a ride doesn’t equate to an invitation to be a plus one brings the tears back to your eyes. Did you not even deserve a warning? Why would Jungkook let you kiss him, let you fall in love with him—only to turn his back on you like this? 

You have to keep your eyes glued to the window of the passenger’s side of the car, just to make sure Jungkook won’t see the tears. You can just imagine that he’ll ask, and the conversation will steer the pair of you into an even more awkward space. 

It’s a very agonizing five hours. Not having that time to recover from the shock of those texts is becoming increasingly more difficult for you to handle. 

There are a few times that your tears overwhelm your whole system, where you have to sniff to get a handle on your body’s response to the emotions going through your body—which you’re sure Jungkook can hear. After all, there’s no music playing and there is a silence that is threatening to swallow you whole. 

Jungkook, however, does not say anything in response to your very obvious sniffle. He merely tightens his grip on the steering wheel, and keeps his mouth shut. You wonder if he’s waiting for you to talk first, to explain what’s going on with you. 

The sky is bleeding orange by the time Jungkook pulls into the new hotel, the final hotel. There is still two hours until the wedding is set to start, but every nerve in your body is screaming for you to leave and go back home. Every nerve in your body is telling you that you don’t belong here anymore. 

“Okay, I let you have your peace for the whole drive over,” Jungkook starts off, voice tight, fixing the car into park. “But I’m asking you this right now. Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem fine… and I’m worried about you…” He reaches across the car to land a hand on your shoulder. It’s a completely normal gesture, especially between you and Jungkook, but you cannot handle it. 

You jerk away. “I’m fine,” You snap out, actually fixing your gaze on him this time. Jungkook recoils, immediately retracting his arm from you, looking like you just burned him. You tear your gaze away from him. You’re not strong enough to see him hurt because of you. “Why do you care anyways?” 

Jungkook exhales in disbelief, turning towards the steering wheel of the car and running a hand through his hair. “What are you talking about? Is this about last night? Did I… say something to scare you off?” 

“This isn’t about what you said, this is about what you didn’t say and what you’re not telling me!” 

Jungkook looks like you just grew a second head. “What are you talking about?” 

You whirl back to face him. “Oh, so the fact that you and Miss. Jennie were already set to go to this fucking wedding together and you didn’t even think to give me a heads up and tell me?” 

Jungkook freezes like a deer in headlights. “What? How did you know about that?” 

You laugh, but it’s a hollow noise that only makes that lump come back to your throat. “Nevermind,” You bite out. This time, you don’t stop the tears from resurfacing as you give Jungkook a full look this time. His demeanor changes from frozen to pained at the sight. “I hope you guys are very happy together.” 

You don’t say another word as you fumble with the latch of the door before pushing it open with more strength than necessary. You can vaguely hear Jungkook struggling with his own seat belt, but you don’t care. You slam the car door shut and storm away. You don’t know where you’re going—maybe around the corner to scream, or to call a taxi that’ll take you to the airport. You don’t care about the wedding. You don’t think you could face the embarrassment in facing Jungkook or Jennie or Irene right now. 

“Shit, Y/N! Y/N!” Jungkook is calling for you now, his footsteps loud against the asphalt. 

Everything feels like you’re going through water, which is probably why Jungkook is able to reach you as quickly as he does. He catches you by the wrist. 

“Y/N—please, will you stop and just listen to me?” 

“No! Jungkook, let me go.” You start trying to tug your wrist, trying to pull yourself away from him. “Let me go! I’m leaving! I don’t want to see you anymore!” You’re gasping, the tears blurring your vision and making you feel powerless. 

Without a warning, Jungkook pulls you in his arms. Wrapping his arms around you, he traps you in his embrace. And you are miserable. 

“Stop it!” You gasp, trying to push him away. You’re heaving—crying and trying to escape from someone as strong as Jungkook is definitely a workout for your body. “Jungkook, leave me alone. This is all my fault.” 

He pauses. “What do you mean?” 

You stop struggling, allowing Jungkook to hold you as you pull back enough to look away from his face. You wipe at the tears on your face. “It’s my fault anyways. I said I liked you and you said you liked me too, but maybe that wasn’t enough for you. Just because we like each other doesn’t mean we’re exclusive. I should have asked up front, so I wouldn’t get hurt in the long run.” 

“You don’t need to get hurt though,” Jungkook whispers kindly, his voice overcoming the blood in your ears, as well as your own yelling. You quiet down at that, except for your own lungs contracting to catch more air. This leaves you a hiccuping mess. He waits until he knows you’re not going to say anything next. “You’re right, okay? Jennie and I were supposed to be each other’s dates.” 

You’re still trying to catch your breath. 

Jungkook rests a hand on top of your head, curling his fingers through the strands of your hair soothingly. “Are you okay?” 

You hiccup. “Why are you telling me this? I just told you that I’m hurt right now…” 

“Shhh.” Jungkook pulls back and cups your face in his hands so you can look at him. “You aren’t listening to me. I said we were supposed to be each other’s dates. We’re not anymore.” 

You blink, allowing the tears that were already filling your eyes to fall down your cheeks. Jungkook wipes them gently with his thumb. “What?” 

Jungkook’s gaze flickers between your eyes. “Jennie and I are friends, so we’d figure it would be fun to just go together and have a person to sit with, eat with, and dance with. As friends.” 

“W-What happened then?” You ask, a watery color in your voice. 

Jungkook gives you a gentle smile, the kind of gesture that tells you that you should know the answer already. “You happened, silly.” He keeps his eyes on yours. “I saw you at the party with Jimin and invited you to come with me. I assumed when I asked that we’d be each other’s plus ones. I forgot to tell Jennie though when I asked you out.” He tilts his head at you. “You saw the texts on my phone, didn’t you?”

“I-I’m sorry.” You hiccup again. “Your phone kept going off this morning and I was just trying to put it on silent. I-I didn’t mean to look through your messages…” 

“Shh, baby, you’re good, you’re okay.” Jungkook interrupts gently, wrapping his arms tighter around you and swaying the pair of you back and forth. The usage of the nickname fills you with a new feeling, a warmer feeling. It helps calm you down. 

Your breathing eventually evens out, bringing you back to reality and to the realization that you and Jungkook are hugging in the middle of a hotel parking lot. 

Jungkook loosens his grip on you, letting you step back. He watches you for a moment. “Here,” He says, digging through his pocket and pulling out his phone. “I think you should see this.” He clicks through a few of his apps, until he seems to find what he’s looking for because he hands the phone to you. You look over at him, confusion flooding through your features. Jungkook gives you a reassuring nod. “It’s okay.” 

Still hesitant, you take the phone and look at the messages across the screen. It’s the texts from this morning. 

Jennie (9:53AM): hey jungkook !! just thought I’d ask where you want to meet up before the wedding starts 

Jennie (9:53AM): since we’re each other’s plus ones, I think we should show up together but idk let me know what you think 

Jennie (9:53AM): I’m excited to see you again and catch up, it’s been so long !! :) 

Jungkook (10:20AM): hey Jennie !! oh shit i totally forgot to let u know but i actually found a plus one :( i’m soooo sorry i should have told you earlier omg i feel terrible 

Jennie (10:20AM): no worries jungkook !! who is it omg do I know them? 

Jungkook (10:20AM): it’s actually Y/N? We all went to college together… 

Jennie (10:20AM): OH!!!! wait isn’t she the one Irene was working with a lot for senior projects? 

Jennie (10:20AM): OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Jennie (10:21AM): OKAY JUNGKOOK I SEE U 

Jennie (10:21AM): she’s THE Y/N right???? the one u were in love with for our entire college career?? 

Jungkook (10:22AM): …… maybe? 

Jennie (10:22AM): WOWOWOWOW good for u Jungkook !!! glad to see u finally having the balls to ask her out !! 

Jungkook (10:22AM): OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH 

Jungkook (10:23AM): I actually felt BAD for leaving you by yourself BUT NOT ANYMORE 

Jennie (10:23AM): LMAO Jungkook I’m friends with Irene’s entire bridesmaid row i’ll be fine 

Jennie (10:23AM): just go get ur dick wet!!!!!! 

Jungkook (10:23AM): istg i will leave you on read 

Jungkook (10:23AM): also that is NOT the point!!!!!! Just wanna love my new girl :( 

Jennie (10:24AM): You’re gross 

Jennie (10:24AM): but sounds good see you tonight! 

You look up from Jungkook’s phone to see him watching you carefully, gauging your reaction, pleading for you to forgive him. 

The only thought that can be translated into a coherent sentence comes out: “You were in love with me during college?” 

Jungkook exhales in a laugh, his arms finding your waist once again. “I think ‘in love with’ was a bit of a stretch back then. I think you could agree that we didn’t know each other well enough before for me to say that.” 

You’re still looking at him. “Back then…?” You echo. 

He nods. “Back then.” He brings you closer, one hand moving up to gently brush at the skin of your cheek. “But it’s different now. Now, I can say with absolute certainty that I’m in love with you.” 

Your lips part. “You’re in love with me?” The tears spring back into your eyes, but for a different reason entirely. The emotional rollercoaster you have just been on is unbelievable. 

Jungkook’s eyes widen at the sight of your tears. “Oh shit, I’m sorry! Is that too fast? I’m sorry, I should have given you a warning or something. Or more time at least. Oh no, please don’t cry…” 

You brush him off with a watery laugh, waving his concern away. “It’s okay Jungkook. This is fine, really.” You give him a smile. “I love you too. I really thought you were pulling my leg or something.” 

Jungkook gives you his own small smile. “I’m sorry. I should have brought this up sooner about us being each other’s plus ones. Just because I assume something doesn’t mean it’s an established thing.” He brings you closer, his smile turning into a grin. “You love me too, huh?” 

You giggle. You’re too strung out to come up with something witty or clever. “Yeah…” 

Jungkook is still smiling, his gaze switching between your lips and your eyes. “I’m gonna kiss you now.” 

You nod. “About time.” 

He kisses you again, softly and sweetly, tongue slipping past the seam of your lips but it’s gentle caresses that make your heart feel like it’s crawling up your throat. 

“OH MY GOD GET A ROOM!” A voice calls from the other side of the parking lot, forcing you and Jungkook to pull away. The pair of you look at each other and you start to laugh. 

Jungkook kisses your forehead, sweeping down to your ear. “How about we check into our room and get ready?” 

You giggle, nodding over at him. “That sounds good.” 

So Jungkook leads the way, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you gather your suitcases from the car and enter the lobby. You check in easily, as Jungkook is provided a map with directions on how to reach the room. 

The pair of you don’t pull away once until Jungkook is sliding the key card into the door and pushing it open to reveal the bedroom you’ll be sharing for the night. 

Both you and Jungkook park your suitcases near the foot of the bed, as per usual. 

“Do you want to use the bathroom?” Jungkook offers. 

You nod, smiling softly. “Okay.” 

You gather the dress you’ve brought in your arms, about to enter the bathroom, before Jungkook’s voice stops you. “Hey,” He calls, approaching you and wrapping you in his arms again. He’s much more handsey this time, like he needs to make sure you’re not going to run away again, like you’re going to be okay. “You feel better now?” His thumb brushes your lips. “Your eyes are still a little red.” 

You nod. “The makeup will probably help that,” You reassure in a soft voice. 

Jungkook mirrors your movements. “Still, how about I get some ice for you so you can put something cold underneath your eyes… to stop the puffing.” 

He looks genuinely concerned and worried for your wellbeing that you can’t help but smile. Since he is insisting, you decide to just let him be. “Okay, Jungkook.” 

He smiles. “Okay! You start getting ready and I’ll get the ice, okay?” A quick kiss on your cheek before he’s bounding out of the door with the provided ice buckets. 

Your eyes linger on the door for a few minutes before you’re turning back to your suitcase. The dress you have picked is a pink flowing floor-length number—something Karly helped you pick out before leaving. It’s soft enough that it doesn’t leave crease marks along the fabric, which had made this outfit perfect for the trip. You take the dress and your bag of makeup before entering the bathroom. You’re just slipping on the dress when you hear the hotel room door open and close. 

“Okay, I got the ice!” Jungkook announces through the bathroom door. “Did you want to work on your eyes right now?” 

“Sure,” You call back. “Do you mind zipping me up first?” 

“Of course,” Jungkook returns, sounding distracting as you open the door to the bathroom. You peek your head through, noticing Jungkook opening his suitcase on the floor and sorting through it—probably for his own suit. 

He must hear the door open, because he looks up towards you. Immediately, his eyes widen as he straightens up into a standing position. “O-Oh wow…” He’s looking you over up and down, up and down, as if he needs to commit this to memory. “Y-You look great. Beautiful.” 

“Really?” You stammer back. “Thank you.” 

Jungkook keeps his eyes on you as he approaches you. “You needed me to zip you up?” 

“O-Oh right, yeah.” Hastily, you turn around, brushing the hair from your back to expose your undone zipper, and your bare back. 

You think that he purposely grazes the tips of his fingers against your skin in his process of bringing the zipper up to the top of the fabric. You’re about to turn, thank him, but his hands back at your waist do the gesture for you. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. You look really pretty.” 

You pout. “You’re being too nice to me.” 

Jungkook whines, hugging you close to him. “You’re too cute.” He noses at your temple. “I just wanted to see you smile.” He pulls away after a moment. “Let’s take care of your face, yeah?” He turns around and returns with a small baggy full of ice. “Here, sit down for a second.” He leaves for a second, returning back with a towel. “Maybe… five minutes each eye. I don’t know. I’ll get ready while we’re waiting.” 

So he takes his suit out from his case and disappears into the bathroom, leaving you alone with a towel of ice pressed against your eye. The cooling sensation definitely helps with the puffiness. 

Jungkook appears from the bathroom a few minutes later—dressed in a black suit with a white button-down and a long skinny black tie. His hair has been fiddled with a little, but he still has that messy, boyish, lovable appearance that makes your heart race. 

“Did you switch the towel?” 

You nod. 

“How do you feel?” 

Slowly, you bring the towel down and rest it on your lap. You look at Jungkook. “How do I look?” 

He leans forward towards you, holding your chin gently between his fingers. “You look better. Did you need to finish getting ready?” 

“Yeah. I just need to touch up my makeup.” 

“Okay, go ahead then.” 

Jungkook takes the towel, and watches as you make your way back to the bathroom. You’re only gone for a few minutes before you’re emerging once more—eyeshadow a little darker, lashes a little closer, and lips slightly pinker, but overall still looking like the same version of the girl he fell in love with. 

The pair of you drive to the wedding venue, a cute brick building with browns, greens, and whites surrounding. Guests already swarm the outside area, some of whom you recognize from college. The sight makes you nervous. 

Jungkook sees this, and he reaches over to grab onto your hand. “You can just stick with me, okay?” He smiles. “I’ll protect you.” 

You roll your eyes, but you are thankful to have Jungkook as your source of comfort and be that person you could run back to. 

He parks and meets you at the front of his car, where you lace fingers and make your way towards the venue. You go through a small round of hellos and ‘nice to finally meet you’ conversations—most notably from Mingyu and Jennie, both of whom light up at the sight of your presence. Contrary to your previous worries, you find that you don’t really need to be so nervous. Mingyu and Jennie are friends of Jungkook’s for a reason—they radiate a relaxing nature that you can tell is what has drawn the three of them to each other. 

They ask about you, your college experience, your current experience, passing easy conversation in the ceremony space right before the start of the wedding. It’s fun to see Jungkook joking around with the friends he grew up with, and even more fun to see how easy you are allowed into that world. 

The actual wedding ceremony is a blur. You vaguely recognize the extremely attractive, excited, and watery-eyed version of Seokjin at the head of the aisle. You definitely recognize the equally as attractive, excited, and watery-eyed version of Irene, downed in white lace and looking much more beautiful than you ever remember her. Vows are exchanged, kisses are shared, there’s an applause, and pictures are taken before the guests are ushered into the main entry room—decked out with a bar and a few scattered seating areas. Jungkook whispers to you that guests are put here temporarily, as the ceremony space is being converted into a dining area. 

True to Jungkook’s promise, he lingers by your side most of the night. Although you reassure him that you are fine, you are much more emotionally stable compared to a few hours ago, and that perhaps you are okay catching up with Nayeon—another girl from college, actually someone from the first party you ever attended who defended you when you were receiving unwanted attention—but Jungkook simply tells you that he likes being around you. He likes being able to put his arm around you, likes to rest his hand at your waist, likes people knowing that he has you. 

It’s a few more minutes of conversation, of laughter, of old stories being exchanged between people you haven’t seen for years, when the guests are called back into the newly converted dining area. Instead of rows of chairs lined up, there are round tables filling the space. The long panel of doors once closed along the wall of the room have been opened—exposing a gazebo with a D.J. and a dance floor, all encircled by a string of big bright fairy lights. 

You and Jungkook are situated at the same table as most of the guests you recognize from college. You assume this is purposefully done to give you all a common ground, and it works because conversations spring easily between you all. Even when you’re not talking about your experiences from university, you’re able to transition from topic to topic. You and Jungkook occasionally talk amongst yourselves as you’re eating, but you sit together and laugh together when Irene and Seokjin emerge and listen in during the wedding toasts. 

Finally, Irene and Seokjin make their rounds through the room, stopping at the tables to cheer and laugh and exchange a few words of congratulations and conversation. Following this process, everyone at your table stands on their feet as Irene and Seokjin make their way towards you. There are bright smiles, Irene’s cheerful gasp as she takes in all the guests that have come to join her. She circles your table, hugging every guest, continuing this when she reaches you. 

Irene grins at the sight of you. “Y/N! Oh my gosh, it’s been so long!” 

“I know!” You return, pulling away from Irene. “Congratulations. This wedding is beautiful.” 

She beams, absolutely radiating in her white dress and glittering makeup. “Thank you so much for coming! But oh my god, are the rumors true, did you really show up—!” She looks over your shoulder, and grins again. “Jungkook!” She hugs Jungkook. “I should be saying congratulations to the two of you. I was surprised to get the text from Jungkook saying that you guys were coming as each other’s dates. Gave me a whole pain because I had to switch some seats around at the last minute. But anything for my favorite people.” She turns to you and holds onto your arms. “Jungkook has had a crush on you for years, so you’re really doing him a huge favor.” 

“Okay, enough,” Jungkook interrupts, scowling. But there is still that playful look in his eyes. “Did all your friends know about this? Jennie knew something was up too when I texted her.” 

Irene presses her lips together. “Mingyu might have mentioned something.” She presses her hand to Jungkook’s cheek. “Stay safe, you guys. Hope you enjoy the rest of the night.” She moves onto her next guest. 

Jungkook is groaning. “Remind me to never tell Mingyu anything ever again.” He glares at the boy from across the table. “Gonna fling some peanuts at that son of a bitch.” 

You laugh, wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s waist. “Oh, let him be. It’s Irene’s wedding. You can get him tomorrow.” 

Jungkook pouts, but he does wrap his own arm around your shoulder. “Ah, love my girl—promoting evil behavior after festive events.” He kisses your cheek as your table takes their seats once more. 

The good natured atmosphere continues as you and Jungkook down your food, remaining fully engaged in the conversations happening around the table. After another hour of this, the DJ announces the start of the married couple’s first dance. Irene and Seokjin take to the dance floor and spin around, her white dress flowing around the room like light. Underneath the glow of the fairy lights, it looks like the couple is in an entirely new world. And you are so taken by it. 

Jungkook does not turn to you until the DJ plays a slow song—a first slow song after a series of upbeat dance and pop genres. He jerks his head towards the dance floor. “You want to dance?” 

You take his hand when he offers. “Of course.” He leads you across the room, towards the gazebo, where several other couples have moved to cling to one another. Jungkook pulls you in: one hand on your waist and the other with your own hand. “This is really nice,” You start off. 

Jungkook laughs. “The wedding, or the dance?” 

You smile over at him. “Both. Being able to slow dance with you, however, is marginally better.” 

Jungkook is quiet for a little after that. He seems content just staring at your eyes, taking in the magic of this moment. “Thank you for coming with me,” He starts. “The whole road trip thing. Definitely would not have been as fun if I did all that by myself.” 

“Well, thank you for inviting me,” You return. “Even though we had that big misunderstanding. I had a lot of fun.” 

“Hey.” Jungkook angles his head a little so he can look at you in the eyes. “You know that I would never hurt you, right? You’re too important to me that I wouldn’t even think to pull some stupid shit like that again. You know that I love you too much to do that to you, right?” 

“I do know now,” You say, gazing over at him. “And I love you too.” 

You’re not usually an expressive person. But it’s worth saying those words just to see the grin that overtakes Jungkook’s face. It’s worth even more when he leans forward, kissing you openly in front of all his friends, nibbling gently at your bottom lip, running his tongue over the wound, and into your mouth. It’s worth it to have his fingers dusting sweetly over your skin, coaxing your mouth to open to allow exploration. 

It feels like worlds pass before Jungkook pulls away, giving you that breathless smile dimple and all, before he’s leaning forward to bury his face into your neck. 

“I think the drive home will be fun,” Jungkook mutters softly. 

“Hm?” You hum, eyes closed as he presses tiny kisses along your neck. 

“Most definitely,” Jungkook says, lifting himself just enough so that his lips hover over your ear lobe. “Because I plan on fucking you in every hotel bed for the rest of the trip.” 

You feel your heart race, your cheeks heat. Yes, this was definitely worth it. 

[atlafan]

Part One - “Call me Jane.”

a/n: here’s part one of nanny!H, I’m very excited about this series. I’m not sure how many parts it’s going to be, so please don’t ask lmao. Once I know how many parts it’ll be, I’ll make a master post for it. I’m just too excited not at least share the first part because Harry is just too cute in this! Feedback and reblogs are super helpful, and keep me motivated, especially when it comes to writing series. (not proofread) You can support me here if you’re able!

Warnings: none...for now

Words: 4.1K

Pairing: Harry x OC (Jane Watson)

Master Post

Harry found himself in a real bind. He was twenty-six years old, had an early childhood education degree, and the daycare he worked at was going under. He had just been promoted a month prior too, how could things go wrong so quickly? Times like this he really hated that he stayed in the states. Childcare services weren’t nearly as fucked up back home. His dream was to save up enough money to open up his own pre-school at some point, but it was really tough.

There was this weird stigma that if adult men wanted to work with babies and toddlers then that made them a pedophile or something of the sort. That wasn’t the case with Harry. His minor in school was psychology because cognitive development intrigued him. He also loved babies and little ones. He loved watching them learn and discover.

Only now, he was without a job in an already struggling field. He and the other employees weren’t exactly given a big notice before they were told the business was going under. Harry mostly felt bad for the parents of the kids that had to find new child care centers. He knew he’d have to compete with his co-workers for any available jobs, and he knew they were bound to find places before him because they were women. It was their fault, and he knew it. He was experiencing a prejudice that they must face all the time.

He looked into Care.com, but none of the jobs on there seemed like long-term gigs, and he didn’t want to just be a glorified baby sitter. He figured if he could find a well paying nannying job, he could do that for a bit until finding a job at a new facility, or even set up his dream pre-school. During his search on Indeed, he saw a position for a live-in nanny – jackpot! Live-in meant long-term, and long-term meant lots of money. It also meant he could get rid of his apartment and not have to pay rent for a while. He clicked on the ad that was posted only a couple of weeks ago.

Live-in Nanny Needed for Help with Eight-Month-Old

Minimum requirements:

·        Bachelor’s in either early childhood education or elementary education

·        At least two years’ experience working babies/children

Three professional references required

Applicant is subject to thorough background check for the safety of the child and mother.

Other tasks as needed include:

·        Cooking

·        Light cleaning

·        Grocery shopping/running other errands

If applicant is selected, they will be paid a flat rate of $1600 bi-weekly, will live in “in-law” section of the house, and a car will be provided for them. A resume, cover letter, and three professional references may be sent directly to jpwatson@gmail.com

After reading everything over, this seemed like Harry’s best bet. Some of it seemed a little too good to be true, but this was a risk he needed to take right now. He just hoped the position hadn’t already been filled. That night he spent some time updating his LinkedIn, making sure all of his privacy settings were up to date on all of his social media, and then wrote out a resume and cover letter. The last part was his least favorite because he knew a proper resume and cover letter had to be curated to the specific job, and it made things all the more tedious. By the time he was done, it was late. He didn’t want to seem unprofessional, so he waited to send the email until the next morning.

Subject: Nannying Advert on Indeed

To: jpwatson@gmail.com

From: hes2194@gmail.com

Good morning,

My name is Harry and I’m interested in the nannying advert you’ve posted on Indeed. For the last four years I’ve been working at P.B. & J.’s Child Care Center, and was recently promoted to team lead. Unfortunately, the business itself couldn’t remain afloat, and I was laid off.

Attached are my resume and cover letter. I’d be happy to provide the three references if I end up being considered for the position.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Harry

Treat People With Kindness

He closes his laptop with a satisfied sigh after proofreading his email ten different times before he hit send. He takes a sip from his coffee, and sits back on his sofa. Now all he had to do was wait.

//

There was radio silence for two days. Harry was starting to think he would need to keep job hunting. He had bills to pay, and the last thing he wanted to do was ask his parents for help. They already looked down on his profession as it was. If he had his own car he’d become an uber driver or something, but he didn’t so he couldn’t. Then, by some stroke of luck, at 4:55PM on a Thursday, he gets an email from the address he had been hoping to see pop up.

Subject: Re: Nannying Advert on Indeed

To: hes2194@gmail.com

From: jpwatson@gmail.com

Good evening Harry,

My name is Jane Watson, thank you so much for your application. My apologies it has taken me a couple of days to get back to you. I am usually more responsive, but things have been a little crazy at work as of late. Upon further review of your resume and over letter, I would like to offer you an interview this Saturday at noon, if you are available. I can be flexible if that day and time do not work for you.

If you are able to come, and are still interested in the position, I ask that you please bring your references with you. I will want to call them right away. I am sure you can understand me wanting to thoroughly look into you before letting you into my daughter’s life.

I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

All my best,

Jane

Harry responded to her right away, he didn’t care how eager he seemed. He told her Saturday at noon worked great, and that he would definitely have his references, and anything else he needed to provide. She emailed him back an hour or so later with her cell phone number and address. For the first time in a while, Harry felt like he could breathe again. He knew it wasn’t a done deal that he’d be getting the job, but he was being given a chance, and for that he was thankful.

//

He wanted to make a good first impression on Saturday, so he made sure to wash his hair in the shower, and use his good mousse so his hair would look more orderly. He shaved to give himself that clean and sleek look, this was not a day to appear scruffy. He knew he didn’t need to be overly dressed up, but he also knew that you’re supposed to dress for the job you want and not the job you have. He irons a pair of tan slacks and pairs it with a blue button up. Not to brag, but his bum looked great in these slacks, and it was giving him all the confidence in the world. He puts on a floral tie, just to show a bit of his personality, makes sure his nail polish isn’t chipped, and makes sure all of his rings are looking shiny. He takes an uber out to Jane’s house. It was in a gated community, which he was expecting since he looked up the house beforehand. He wondered what she or her husband did for work to live in a place like this. Or perhaps she inherited the home? Either way, he was excited.

He thanks the driver, and knocks on the door as he was instructed to do. A woman with silver hair that was up in a nice bun opens the door.

“Hello, you must be Mr. Styles.” She smiles.

“Yes, hello.” He smiles back.

“I’m MaryAnne, please come in.” She steps aside to let Harry in.

“Thank you.”

“Miss Watson is just pumping, but you can wait for her here in her office.” She leads Harry down a corridor where he meets a grand double door. MaryAnne opens them and shows him inside. “Make yourself comfortable, dear. Can I get you anything? Coffee, water, tea?”

“I’m all set, but thank you very much.”

The woman nods and leaves him in the room alone. He stays standing as he didn’t want to assume where he should be sitting. There was a gorgeous desk with two chairs on the other side, but there was also a small round table with four chairs around it in the corner. She clearly held a lot of meetings here, or so it would seem. To pass the time he looks over her bookshelves, scanning over what she might be into. She seemed to be into fiction, but he had never heard of any of the books on some of the shelves, or the author. She had several by the same person. Before he could look further, he heard the clacking of heels on the hardwood floors approaching him.

Everything stopped when she walked in. Jane had her hair up in a flowing ponytail, a white blouse covered her top half, he notices that the first few buttons were left undone, probably to help with her pumping, and she had a black pencil skirt on that just came to her knees. She was short, and a little voluptuous, not that Harry was checking her out.  

“Hello, Mr. Styles, I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” He goes to stick his hand out for her to shake, but she walks around him and sits down at her desk. “Please, have a seat.”

He swallows and sits down.

“Y-you can just call me Harry if you like, Mrs. Watson.”

“I’m a Miss not a missus.” She says as she takes out a folder with a few sheets in it and a pen. “It says here you graduated Summa Cum Laude from Lesley University. That’s an incredible place to get a degree in education.”

“Thank you, I got a pretty decent scholarship, it was my reach school. I minored in psychology as well. I did my practicum hours at a daycare center that specialized in caring for children with disabilities. So, I’ve worked with all sorts of children. I prefer working with infants and toddlers, though.”

“And why is that?” She looks at him, clicking her pen, ready to take notes.

“Well, I just have more fun with them, to be honest. I like watching them discover new things. My favorite thing to do while working in the baby room at my last job was working with the babies on their tummy times. It was always rewarding to watch them get stronger. I feel like I just bond with them better.”

“I need to ask you some personal questions since this is a live-in position.”

“Of course.” Harry nods.

“Are you in any sort of relationship with anyone?”

“No, I’m single.”

“Have you ever been arrested, or do you have any sort of criminal history?”

“No.”

“I’m not one to judge, I think everyone deserves a second chance, I just have to ask these sort of things.” She says.

“I don’t have a criminal record, Miss Watson.”

“History of drug use?”

“I smoked a bit of weed when I was younger, but I don’t anymore. An edible once in a while, maybe, but never when I’m on the clock.”

“Just marijuana?”

“I’ve done shrooms a few times, but nothing other than that. Stupid kid stuff.”

“Again, not judging. I’d prefer you don’t have any drugs in the house, unless they’re for medical use. I know edibles can be prescribed by doctors for anxiety and whatnot.” Harry nods at that. “What about alcohol? You’re twenty-six, you must enjoy a drink after a long day.”

“A glass of red once in a while, sure.” He nods. “But I’m not really a heavy drinker, I never have been. I’d say if anything I’m a social drinker, but you watch me carefully at a party you’ll notice that I nurse the same drink.” He smirks.

“I’m the same way. A little bit of a buzz is fun, but anything more can be a bit scary. I actually cannot remember the last time I had a real drink.” She looks off in thought.

“Well, can’t you drink now that the baby’s here?”

“And have to succumb to a pump and dump?” She scoffs. “No way, that would be a total waste. It’s torture enough to sit there while a machine sucks the milk out of my-“ She stops herself. “Sorry.” She shakes her head. “Anyways, your resume was impressive, and you were quite articulate in your cover letter. You’re the only candidate I’ve invited for an interview.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” She nods. “I really wanted someone with experience, not someone fresh out of college looking for a place to live. You’d really be okay with living here?”

“Honestly, you’d be doing me a favor. My long-term goal is to either have a daycare or pre-school of my own someday. Not having to pay rent for a while would really help me save up for that.”

“That’s an incredible goal to have, Harry.” She smiles, impressed by his ambition. “What questions do you have for me?”

“I just want to clarify, your daughter is eight months?” Jane nods. “And what’s her name?”

“Lilly.” Jane smiles.

“That’s a beautiful name.” Harry smiles. “Why exactly do you need a live-in nanny?”

“I work a lot.” She sighs. “And I’m a single mom. I want her to always have someone here that she can depend on and feel comfortable with. Sometimes my work drags me out in the middle of the night, or I have to take a phone call at an odd hour. I just want someone else here in case I can’t be if something comes up.”

“So, her father’s not in the picture?”

“No.” Her features sour a bit. “He doesn’t even know she exists to be perfectly honest with you. I found out I was pregnant after we broke up, and I decided not to tell him about her. He was a deadbeat moocher, he would have been useless.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but thank you for telling me. May I ask, how old are you?”

“Twenty-nine, does that matter?”

“No! No, I was just more so curious. You seem pretty successful to be in a home like this. In the advert, you stated I’d be given a car as well, that’s not exactly cheap.”

“You’ll be given access to one of my cars.” She says. “I’m not giving you a car, make no mistake about that.” She smirks. “I’m an author, a successful one.” Harry tries to think if he’s ever heard of a Jane Watson before, but he’s coming up blank. “You’ve never heard of me because I have a pen name. If it’s all the same, I don’t really want to share it with you. Not yet, anyways.”

“Sure…wait…are you offering me the job?”

“Not quite. I’d like you to meet my daughter. I want to see how she interacts with you.”

“I’d love to meet Lilly.” He smiles.

“Great, before we do that, do you have more questions?”

“Yes, who’s MaryAnne? Is she, like, a maid or housekeeper?”

“No.” Jane laughs. “She’s my personal assistant. I usually answer the door myself, but pumping took a bit longer than usual.”

“When did you publish your first work?”

“When I was twenty.” She smiles. “I was still in school, and I decided just to self-publish. It took off, and a few companies reached out to me. I eventually got an agent, and the rest was history. I’m a fast writer, I’m able to churn out more projects than most people, and for whatever reason they keep becoming hits. One of the reasons I travel a lot is that a couple of my works are being turned into television shows, and working out those contracts is a lot. I want to be a part of the process to make sure the stories are told correctly.”

“That’s incredible!”

“it is.” She nods. “I never thought I’d be a television producer, but here I am. I don’t really want Lilly around all that, so there’s another reason for having a live-in nanny.”

“This may seem like a silly question, but will I have time off?”

“Oh my goodness, of course! The salary is negotiable as well. You’ll have weekends off, as well as all bank and national holidays. You’ll also earn vacation time and sick leave like at any other job. You’ll be given a benefits package as well, if you need health insurance.”

“You…you provide stuff like that?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“I’ve just never heard of a nannying job quite like this before.” He blinks. “It feels too good to be true.”

“I’m just a firm believer in compensating someone properly. I believe in investing in the people you have.”

“Right.” He swallows. He almost starting to feel like he was going to be her sugar baby or something, but he obviously knew that wasn’t the case. “You asked me about my dating life, what about yours?”

“I’m also single. Lilly is my top priority, and then comes my work. I’m completely fulfilled as is.” She stands from her desk. “Come, I’ll give you a tour of the house, and of the in-law space, and then you can meet Lilly.”

“Okay.” He stands up and follows her out of the office.

She shows him the living room, which felt more like a study. There was an entertainment room with a huge flat screen, deluxe loungers, a pool table, and bar. She shows him to the kitchen which was equally as extravagant. She brings him upstairs to show him all of the bedrooms.

“This is Lilly’s room.” Jane says proudly.

“it’s beautiful, I love the light purple.”

“So do I.” She says. “My room is down the hall, don’t think you need a tour of that.” She laughs and they head back downstairs. “Here’s the inside entrance to the in-law, but there’s also an exterior entrance you can use…or if you have guests over.” Harry’s in awe of the space. It was larger than his apartment. “It’s a one bedroom flat essentially. There’s a full bath en suite, and there’s a half bath over there. Open concept kitchen and living area. It’s fully furnished as well. Feel free to decorate it however you like. I just ask that this space stays yours. There’s really no reason for you to bring Lilly in here, you know?”

“Sure, yeah. This is amazing.”

“I’m glad you like it. Let’s just hope Lilly like you.” Jane smirks, and they head back to the main part of the house, and into Lilly’s playroom. She was sitting with MaryAnne in a large rocking chair. “M, you can feel free to go back to your office if you like. Harry’s going to get acquainted with Lilly.”

“Of course.” MaryAnne stands up with the baby, and hands her over to Jane.

“She has an office here too?” Harry asks.

“Of course she does, and one of the guest rooms upstairs is hers to use when she needs it.” She kisses the top of her daughter’s head. “Lilly,” she coos, “I have someone I’d like you to meet.” She gestures for Harry to take her, and he happily does so.

“Hey, baby girl.” Harry coos. Bright hazel eyes look up at him in wonder. He lets her latch onto his index finger. “It’s so nice to meet you.” He looks at Jane. “She’s precious, Miss Watson.”

“Isn’t she?” Jane beams. “She’s really been enjoying her bouncy, and messing around with her blocks. I have some CD’s I like having her listen to as well. Oh! We did a paint with pudding night as a sensory play thing, it was a hoot.” She chuckles.

“Those are great, aren’t they? Very stimulating, and it teaches the child that sometimes messes are okay.” He looks down at Lilly and smiles. “May I sit with her in the rocking chair?”

“Please!” She gestures to it, and she sits down on the loveseat in the room. Harry sits down with Lilly, cradling her carefully. He adjusts her so she’s able to stand on his lap. She bounces herself and giggles. “Look at that!” Jane exclaims. “I love it when she does that.”

“She’s awfully sweet.” Harry smiles, and then he looks at Jane. “How much do you feed her?”

“I give her roughly twenty-four to thirty-two ounces a day. You’ll know how hungry she is or isn’t in the moment. I’ve started giving her pureed butternut squash, mashed bananas and strawberries, she’s got that puffed baby cereal as well. I’ve also started giving her ground chicken in really small doses just to get her some protein, but right now I’ve mostly been sticking to fruits and veggies. You must know a lot about what foods to give a baby?”

“I do.” He nods. “You’re still producing that much milk to give her daily?”

“I’ve almost been wishing I’d dry up. I get so sore somedays.” Jane sighs. “But I figure it’s good for her to have it while I can still make it. I’m not opposed to formular or anything…but I like bonding with her in that way. I got rid of her baby acne by rubbing my nipple on her skin, it was like magic.”

“It’s certainly a trick of the trade.” He smirks at her. “I remember learning that in one of my courses, and I was amazed. You all are super humans.”

Jane watches Harry play on the ground with Lilly for a bit. Harry was already so wonderful with her. Harry starts to smell something, and so does Jane.

“Think it’s time for a diaper change.” He chuckles and picks her up. “Would you like me to change her?”

“Yeah, I’d like to see you do it.”

He brings Lilly over to the changing table, and lays her down.

“I know you’re all warm and cozy, but I need to disrupt that for a moment.” He says to the baby girl who was babbling and blowing little spit bubbles, totally unbothered. Harry unsnaps her onesie, and lifts her legs to detach the diaper. His eyes widen at the type of diaper that’s on her. “You cloth diaper?” He looks at Jane.

“It’s better for the environment.” She shrugs. “There’s a trashcan for the…um, poop, and there’s another can for the diapers. I give her a regular diaper for bedtime just because it’s easier to change her in the middle of the night and in the morning, but daytime I use the cloth diapers.”

“Makes sense to me.” Harry disposes of everything, and grabs a few wipes to clean Lilly up. She took a powerful stinky.

“I blame it on the pureed peas.” Jane laughs.

“It doesn’t even phase me anymore, honestly.” Harry says as he gets a little baby powder on her. He grabs a spare cloth diaper, and gets it on her. He snaps her onesie back together and lifts her up. “There we go, good as new, darling girl.” Lilly blows some bubbles at Harry, and blows some back, making her giggle. Jane beams at the two of them.

“It’s about time for her afternoon nap. Would you like to put her down?”

“I’d love to.”

Harry carries Lilly upstairs with Jane. She flips on Lilly’s white noise machine, and makes sure her favorite blankies are in the crib. Harry sits down in the large chair in the corner of the room and starts to rock her gently, giving her soothing rubs. Jane watches as Lilly’s eyelids start to droop. She fights it at first, but Harry continues to soothe her until she’s out like a light. He carefully stands up and sets her down into her crib. The two back out of the room quietly, and make their way down the stairs.

“Let’s go back to my office.” Jane says, and Harry follows her there. Once they’re both seated, she starts speaking again. “Well, the job is yours if you want it.”

“Really?” Harry felt every worry from his life leave his body.

“Yes.” She chuckles. “You’ve really impressed me, and I think Lilly’s quite taken with you already. I’d love to have you as her nanny.” She takes out a few forms. “May I have your references? The background check will take about a week. How soon could you start after that?”

“Right away, honestly.” He hands her a sheet with his references.

“Here are the tax forms you’ll need to fill out, a form for direct deposit, and some information on your benefits. You can get everything back to me by the end of next week.”

“I can’t thank you enough for this opportunity, I’m so excited. I can’t wait to get started, Miss Watson.” He stands to shake her hand, and she stands as she takes it.

“Please, you can call me Jane.”

[peralta-guaranteed]

Would u write something about Mac first words being "dad" o "daddy" and Jake GOING INSANE about that? I think it would be really special to him bc all his story with his dad and all his fear on becoming

He'd taken his eyes off of him for five seconds - the card machine at the bodega was giving him some prompt he'd never seen before - so of course something had to happen. Jake still mostly banked on Mac being unable to walk freely for more than a few steps from him, but he should've really factored in all the perfect toddler-height shelving that he could use as railings to get a whole aisle over before he and the cashier flinched from the sound of a crash.

And then the crying started.

The cashier was actually faster than him, given a headstart from not having to drop an entire basket of shopping to run over, but Jake was directly behind her to see his kid sitting on the ground, a puddle of something slopping around him and half over him. Pasta sauce, he realised as he saw the wobbly carton display that had obviously not been as steady as the metal shelves Mac had been holding onto before.

"Da...!" Mac sobbed with outstretched arms towards him. "Da-heee..." He wailed again with tears streaming down his face while Jake lifted him up, covering himself in sauce too as Mac clung to him and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Daddy's here, bud. It's okay. It's okay." He bounced him up and down as the crying slowed, cursing himself out in his head all the while. How did he let him wander away like that? Why did he not notice sooner? He'd been careless and stupid and irrespsonsible and a horrible fath-

"Is he okay?" The cashier still looked far more worried at them than at the mess she'll have to clean up now, and it gladly brought him back to centre as the only real adult in the room right now (she can't be more than 17, he thinks).

"Yeah, just spooked. I'm so sorry, I'll pay for the sauce of course-" Jake stopped as Mac lifted his head off his shoulder again, eyes red-rimmed but not crying anymore, at least, only to see that his forehead was less covered in pasta sauce and more smeared with blood from a cut over his eyebrow, and his heart dropped even deeper than when he heard the crash. "Actually, do you sell bandaids?"

-*-

"It's okay, peanut. Daddy's fixing it." He forces his voice to be soft and calm while Mac sniffles, sitting on the counter, the cashier picking up Jake's dropped shopping bags while he cleans the little cut with the alcohol wipes she'd handed him without even ringing them up. It's not that bad, he tries to comfort himself fruitlessly, just a little nick that bled a bit more than usual, but should be fine with a bandaid and some lotion. It's fine. He didn't- he didn't let Mac get actually injured. He didn't. Even though his subconscious was screaming nothing else at him.

Mac's eyes are still swimming while he stares up at Jake, unblinking, clinging to his fake-soft smile as probably the only thing to convince him there was no need to cry at the moment. You and me both, Jake thinks for a second.

"Daddeh." He squeaks softly as Jake sticks on a puppy-themed bandaid (also not rung up), and grabs his hand with his little grubby fingers, and time kind of stops for a moment as they look at each other. Mac's eyes are big and still slightly red-rimmed, but trained on him like there's nothing else in the world but them, and for Jake, there might as well not be.

"See, Daddy fixed it." The cashier breaks through, smiling at him too as she hands Jake his shopping with the bandaid box dropped in, and time loops back into normal. She gets a soft Thanks and a nod after she hands him his card from the blasted machine that started it all, too, and doesn't even mention the several jars broken an aisle over. She waves goodbye to Mac instead as they leave, and Jake is definitely leaving the largest bills he has in her tip jar next time they come in.

-*-

Mac's splashing water and bubbles around in his small tub, because the sauce had leaked through his dungarees straight over his legs, and Jake is busy scrubbing him down with the soft loofah that'll probably have to go into the trash after all this. There's too much swirling through his head while he carefully showers Mac off. A whole barrage of emotion he'd love to just aimlessly ramble out, but there's no one to listen to him in their little apartment right now, the only person who'd maybe understand him still stuck at work. He looks at the puppy bandaid on Mac's forehead that he'll have to change after the bath, at his happy face playing with the little ducky that makes such fun squeaky noises when it's filled with water, no sign of tears or pain left at all.

"Hey, Mac-a-roni." Jake whispers while Mac giggles and splashes some more water out of the baby-tub into the big one it was sitting in. "You... said something at the bodega, didn't you?"

Mac had been babbling and making noises for months now, lots of Goos and Gaas, the occasional Bleh and Duh thrown in, but Jake and Amy had agreed that none of those had been discernible as words yet, especially as they were never directed at anything in particular. Not like on the counter back there, staring straight at him with his big, chocolate eyes after that little parenting disaster he still wanted to scold himself for. Not like right now, soap bubbles clinging to his curls, smiling up at him in the comforting moment of their usual night routine.

"Daddeh!" Mac squeaks again, holding his arms out to be picked up into a towel like always, but held against Jake's chest much tighter than usual. He's trying not to cry, very hard, but he's sure his eyes are swimming and shiny as much as Mac's were while he was being bandaged up.

"Daddeh." He repeats as Jake laughs, breathlessly, kisses up and down his perfect chubby cheeks for some more squeals and laughter from them both, hugs him close again and again even as he dries him off and gets him dressed.

There's something warm glowing in his chest, Jake feels as he dances Mac to sleep to abuela's Spanish lullaby tape, something that feels both familiar and foreign at once. It reminds him of the feeling that shook all through him when that firefighter placed a screaming, goo-covered baby onto Amy's chest as she cried and carefully touched the dark whisps of hair already matted to his head. That feeling that settled around his heart for forever as Rosa handed him a cleaned up, swaddled baby that wasn't screaming anymore, his eyes closed but his teensy tiny hand wrapping tight around Jake's finger. It's a little different - but it's not, it's more of the same, but grown. Added on, like a new bud on an already flowering tree.

Jake is sure there'll be lots of new blooms on that feeling in the years to come, but this one, the one that opens up even more as Mac sighs one more little "Daddeh" as he falls asleep against his shoulder, will surely be remembered for forever.

-*-

He has enough wherewithal to warn Amy about the bandaid when she gets home and immediately moves to check on sleeping Mac, and she only rolls her eyes when she drops down onto the couch next to him after softly closing the nursery door.

"Do I even want to hear the story of the bandaid?"

"It wasn't anything. Just a little accident at the bodega. He's fine." Jake's actually convinced himself of that now, too, so it sounds believable enough.

"Alright." Amy nods, he swallows back down the worries he thought about sharing if she asked him to still explain instead. "Aside from that, how was your day with him? Did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah." Jake tries to grin and pulls her in to lean against his side as she rests her head on his shoulder, seeming almost as sleepy as Mac was when he did it earlier. "We went to the park and the post office and the bank and the bodega, obviously. A whole Brooklyn adventure."

"That's nice." Amy says in a quiet voice, and he wonders if he'll have to carry her to bed in a second.

"And, well." He hesitates, and that is enough to make her lift her head. Maybe he shouldn't say it. Maybe he should wait until the morning, let her discover it on her own, and pretend like it's the first time he's hearing it too. Forget about how it all came about today.

"Well what?"

"He said something."

"What?! Why didn't you lead with that? Why didn't you text me?!?" She sits up, staring at him with wide eyes, and he looks - apologetic, almost worried.

"I didn't want you to feel bad because you missed it." And didn't want to explain how I fucked up to make it happen.

"Oh." She visibly deflates, but then smiles at him. "But you heard it, right? He said it in front of you?"

"Yeah. He, uh. Actually. He said daddy. To me."

Jake completely misinterprets Amy's face, her scrunched together eyebrows, her shining eyes, her mouth softly opening and closing, and immediately leans forward with a hand on her arm to console her.

"I'm sure he's going to say Mama next, Ames - he's already going 'Mah' all the time, so-"

"He called you daddy?" Her voice is so soft, almost breaking, as he feels her hands on his cheek. "Jake, that's wonderful!"

"Yeah." He nods with a shy smile, but Amy's face only softens more.

"You're his first word." She says with so much reverance, and he can't feel bad about it anymore. Can't think he doesn't really deserve it, not when she looks at him with that much love in her eyes. "You're Mac's first word."

"I'm daddeh." His smile isn't so shy anymore, not when he says it out loud like that, not when it feels 100% right.

"You're really daddy, babe. You're daddy."

He huffs and smiles even wider with another nod, and that feeling is back, that little warm glow blooming in his chest, and Amy is quick to wipe away the few tears that make their way down his cheeks all of a sudden before bending forward for a kiss.

"DADDEH!" echoes through the room from behind a closed door where someone is clearly not interested in sleeping anymore, and Amy laughs against his lips.

"See?"

"I'm gonna go and get him." Jake sighs happily.

"Oh please." She nods as he gets up. "I want to see him say it to you."