#sorry for not including kai's goal celebration

[thomas-mvller]

Niclas Füllkrug (27') Jamal Musiala (57') Florian Wirtz (66') Aleksandar Pavlović (77') Kai Havertz (81') Germany | 5 - 0 | Hungary 2024-25 UEFA Nations League - group stage

[redr0sewrites]

🥀2K Follower Event🥀

🥀A/n: hi everyone!!! i've finally made it to 2K followers and i am so soo soooo happy + excited!!! i never thought id make it this far and i am very excited to celebrate with all of you. in honor of me finally reaching this goal, ive created a prompt list below that u can all use to send in requests. thank u all again for helping me on this journey, ily all!!!

🥀How it Works:

send in a request with the prompt number you would like, along with the character(s) you would like me to write it for and whether or not you want the fic to be nsfw/sfw

if you want any additional information on the reader to be included (gender, race, fashion, or any other descriptors) please include those w the request as well

up to 3 characters per request, as i want to realistically be able to finish them all without burning out

prompts may be used twice, but not for the same character. multiple characters may be used for the same prompt but a singular character can not be reused for that prompt.

i will be accepting requests until the event closes, and i will update this post once that happens

if a request goes against my rules and guidelines on my pinned masterpost, the request will simply not be written

i will work on requests chronologically, so please be patient.

🥀Request Format Examples:

hi! can i request prompt #28 with rengoku and a mtf!reader? i'd like the fic to be sfw! tysm and have a great day!

heyy can u write prompt #7 with aaravos and make it nsfw? thx!

can i request prompt #33 (sfw) with jayroy (jason todd and roy harper) x masc!reader? thankss!

🥀Prompts:

"you can't just show up like this! are you hurt?"

"where are you?"

"somebody is in loooveee!!"

"of course they don't like me, that's ridiculous!... did they say anything to you about me?"

"i don't like you- i love you."

"its so cold without you."

"i guess im just disappointed."

"did you hurt them?"

"i can't stand them, their stupid smile and their stupid laugh and their stupid crooked teeth- oh."

"why are your hands so cold?!"

"ive never felt like this before.."

"because i love you! i've loved you since the moment i saw you, i just can't take it anymore. i want you to be with me!"

"i wasted so much time chasing after them, and for what?"

"do you even like me?" "i love you-" "thats not what i asked. sure, you love me, but do you even like me as a person?"

"it feels- it feels good.."

"don't be shy, darling"

"i wish you saw yourself the way that i see you."

"i never hated you!"

"are you mad at me?"

"i'm just so sick of trying to be something im not. i hope you can forgive me."

"please don't cry, shh, your okay."

"i want you, no one else."

"do you trust me?"

"ive never been touched there.."

"i want you inside me/i want to be inside you"

"you taste so sweet.."

"why can't you see that i love you?"

"is that my shirt your wearing?"

"aww, are you stuck baby?"

"i thought i lost you again"

"our baby would be so cute..."

"you're so pretty like this.."

"i love you." "you're drunk, you dont- you don't mean that.."

"i hate how easy it is for me to love you again."

"are you.. scared of me?"

"aw, don't cry prince/ss"

"i need to stay awake, but i'm just so tired... can you stay? please?"

"i'm just going to end up hurting you-" "i know you'd never hurt me"

"would it be embarrassing if i said i missed you?"

"fuck- feel me all up in your guts, baby?"

"stay still, this will only hurt for a second, jus' relax for me, kay?"

"i know you can take it, just breathe"

"i need you so bad.. it hurts-"

"do you wanna join, or are you just gonna keep watching?"

"no one else will get to see me like this, i can promise you that"

"come closer, i need you"

"you look absolutely stunning like this"

"i'm sorry i wasn't there before, but i'm here now, and i always will be"

"i can't get up with you laying on top of me!"

"shit." "what?" "so, uh, theres only one bed.."

most of these i made up myself by just imagining random fanfic scenarios, but a few were ideas from friends, so credit to them! again, thank you all so much for supporting me and for helping me get this far ♥️♥️♥️

[rainbowsky]

Hey rbs, Happy holidays! Sorry to bother you but there has been something on my mind lately. Are there any moments where either GG or DD supported/showed support to LGBT?

That's a more complicated question than you might think.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Because of the political situation in China, it's not safe to appear to be a part of a political movement, especially one that seeks to fight against official positions and policies. It's part of why Pride parades aren't allowed in China anymore. It's a big part, I'm sure, of why there's been a crackdown on queer organizations and queer university groups in China.

The official position from the regime is that every citizen has a patriotic duty to enter a heterosexual marriage and breed as much as possible - they have a '3 child' policy they've been pushing - and it seems that in their minds, being queer directly runs against those goals (as I've said many times, there's no reason why being queer should prevent people from having children if they want to, except the unjust laws that stand in their way).

People can and do express support for or acceptance of queer relationships, but top celebrities can only do so within a very limited narrow interpersonal parameter. There are a few reasons for this:

There is a stated policy that celebrities must express ideas that align with the regime's positions. Any artist who fails to do so could face blacklisting and/or 'reeducation'.

The censorship laws in China forbid homosexuality being presented in a favorable light (or really, at all) in any significant way.

As I stated previously, in China it's not safe to appear to be part of a protest or political movement.

Queer celebrities are especially ill-advised to show any political leanings in support of homosexuality, because it would put them at extra risk. It's also part of why there are so few gay men in China willing to openly admit they are turtles. They don't want GGDD's ship to be given a political tone by the conspicuous presence of queer men in the fandom, so they keep any support low-key and under the radar.

Having said that, GG and DD have both shown alignment with the LGBTQ community from time to time.

They both have been known to frequently wear brands from LGBTQ-led design houses including DSQUARED_2, Charles Jeffrey, Alexander McQueen, Tom Ford, Christian Louboutin, Martine Rose, Jacquemus and others.

GG posted popular gay anthem Somewhere Over the Rainbow for International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia back in 2017. (He also sang the song with Zhao Lei live on 2016/11/19, a date turtles believe might be GGDD's anniversary.)

DD's famous sneakers and ice cream post, which led some gossip sites to claim he had come out of the closet. @potteresque-ire did a great analysis of that post here. There was also good analysis from @untamedconnotations back when the video was posted, and you can find that here.

A 2011 Weibo conversation where GG showed support for a gay friend who had posted about having a new boyfriend.

GG wearing Pride sneakers for an interview.

A Pride flag showing up in the foreground of a Kai Xiao Zao ad GG appeared in this year. This one is ambiguous because it could have been chosen by the brand, but considering that's a photo of Jianguo next to it, it's possible that it actually came from GG (the kadian on the clock - 23:00, 'Love Zhan' is also cute).

GG selecting a rainbow watch to represent romance for a Zenith Qixi Festival ad campaign.

GG singing gay anthem Post Coital Tristesse on NYE last year.

Endorsing some queer-friendly brands, especially Budweiser, Bubly and some other international brands that have been known to be vocal supporters of LGBTQ rights. Budweiser has even done some queer-friendly advertising in China.

When he was in Milan, GG posted a photo (3:50 in video) of a cathedral where people had gathered to celebrate gay marriage being made legal. It's not clear that he posted it because of the queer context, but a lot of fans made note of it. He posted another photo of it during his February 2023 Milan trip. More on this CPN here.

GG sang Tempting Heart when he was on Our Song, which is a song from the 1999 film of the same name. The film is about a love triangle involving a lesbian woman, and the lyrics of the song allude to that.

Some fans believe GG may have posted in reference to the anniversary of Leslie Cheung's death on 4/1/22.

On 23 April 2022 GG posted a Douyin where he read a poem by celebrated queer poet Edith Södergran.

DD mentioned Brokeback Mountain in a video clip

GG and DD are both Spongebob fans.

GG mentioned in an interview that he'd like to see The Whale.

DD chatting happily with queer icon Dan Levy at the Loewe show in Paris.

There's also their frequent association with rainbows.

The rainbow watches in their lives (including GG choosing one for a Zenith Qixi Festival ad campaign, not on that list).

GG appearing next to a rainbow rabbit in a Roseonly ad.

GG wearing a rainbow stars jacket and Pride colors rainbow belt for his live performance of Running to You With All I Have last year.

GG wearing a rainbow fox hoodie to interview Wan Fang last year.

GG wearing a rainbow watch and using a rainbow badminton racket for photo set he posted on Weibo.

DD wearing a rainbow Thrasher logo hoodie during rehearsal for his Just Like Sunshine dance performance.

GG including a set of rainbow colored chopsticks in his annual PR gift box.

DD wearing pants with rainbow patches for a Chanel event on the first day of Pride (not Chanel pants).

I’ll keep updating this post as I think of more, or as more references occur. If you think of one that I’ve missed please let me know.

DD wearing a rainbow colored outfit for the Loewe show in Paris during Pride month.

GG posting a vacation picture with a Pride flag hanging from a balcony.

Bottom line: It's unrealistic for international fans to expect to see overt expressions of Pride from GGDD, like we would see from North American or European stars, but I think they show what they are able to safely show.

Edit: More on DD's Pride rainbow connections here.

[theilustrado]

Hello Everyone. This is theilustrado, aka Franchesca, a Filipino study and personal blogger based in Texas. Today, I want to share something with everyone.

I finished my 1-year clinical pharmacy program in UIC-Davao. 6 years after passing the Pharmacy board exam and just entirely working in Texas, I was given the opportunity to study clinical pharmacy remotely. Which all of you here on tumblr world knows already.

Nandito parin ako sa Texas pero yung classes ko ay Philippine time. I go to school at 7PM-5AM and then pahinga konti then go to work at 9AM to 7PM as a pharmacy technician turned to Pharmacy Operations Manager (Since I got promoted 3 months ago). That is Including commute and prep time.

Let me just share with you the greatest things I learned working Full time & studying Full time at the same:

You are not alone in this battle. I also have classmates from the USA with full-time jobs, are full-time moms, and wives, and no doubt that there are a lot of ways to get yourself motivated and not fall behind. You share your struggles together. For me, One thing I did was to create a studygram (@studywithfranchesca on IG). That was a way for me to remind myself to do good both in school and work and be with people with the same goals

Going back to school made me realize I want to teach pharmacy. But of course, I know I can't. In some way, I feel like there is lacking. Not the passion, but the knowledge itself (or should I say, maybe I feel like I can’t deliver). I have posted a sample of my slides during my clinical pharmacy classes which you can see below. I think there's should be an easy way to discuss pathophysiology/pharmacology through visually pleasing presentations, perfect analogies, partnered with relevant animations, and confidence to deliver. I've never done it before pero na-enjoy ko talaga ito. This was an avenue for me to show my creativity (since I'm a frustrated artist Lol). The only problem is, it takes time to finish this. I guess it worked out in the end. But without having to go back to school most especially being with UIC, I won't be able to discover this passion and interest.

(My favorite subjects to create a presentation: Pathophysiology and also pharmacology). - Made a report on Lipid-lowering drugs (Ft. MOA of bile acid sequestrants) and the 2nd picture is the Patho of DM.

Don't be too hard on yourself and your SUPPORT SYSTEM will play a big role in your life's success. Yung frustration to be excellent in both aspects of my life (work and school) is always there. Pero you can only do so much. Ang daming expectations and sometimes I fall short in life (Which I feel allt the time). BUT, remember, our best isn't always consistent. And that’s OKAY!

I learned that you can create a strong bond despite the difference in time, distance, weather, and personal battles -- even if you met virtually. My classmates are from Davao, South and North Cotabato, Cagayan De Oro, Bukidnon, Albay, Manila to Las Vegas, California, New york, Hawaii, Indiana. Ang saya diba. Pwede na kami mag-tour sa iba't-ibang places. And because of that, we have also made a connection almost around the world. 1-year lang kami nagkasama-sama at nagkakilala pero I felt like you've known each other for so long. Section A, Hulog ng langit, the best.

Salamat UIC-DAVAO! Salamat sa mga professors, salamat sa aking support system (Tito Aboy, Mommy, and Franchette at siyempre kay Conor na sobrang nagtiis at talaga namang nakasuporta). I don't think I can finish this course without them.

I know I'm probably dramatic posting this 1 year lang naman tinapos ko.. But hey! we celebrate big or small victories in life. It's time to be proud of yourself. Online learning isn't easy. This is a special moment for me because I finished school 8,000 miles away from the Philippines, 14 hours time difference, during a pandemic while working in the front lines. This is something you overcome by being mentally, physically, and spiritually strong. Kaya naman, sa lahat din ng estudyanteng nawalan ng wifi, kuryente, self-motivation, or tiwala sa sarili na nakapagtapos ngayong taon while fighting pandemic, Congratulations!

Franchesca Grepo, RPh, CPhT BS Pharm major in Clinical Pharmacy Best in Pharmaceutical Care University of the Immaculate Conception Davao City

PS: Sorry, for now, I won't "break page". thank you for reading until the end. Hehe, thank you to everyone who supported me since the beginning of my clinical pharmacy journey You've seen how I struggled, adjusted, and am close to losing myself especially with stress and lack of sleep. Thank you for your kind words and words of encouragement.

[yandere-society]

Day 6 | Coffee

Synopsis: Taehyung has always been protective of you– and as his little sister’s best friend, it’s your job to annoy him. When Hanukkah rolls around and you’re confronted with intolerance, Taehyung steps in, becoming a little more than protective.

The 12 Days of Black Christmas Event Masterlist

Pairing: Taehyung x Female Reader

Admin: @psycho-slytherin​

Trigger warnings: Profanity, mentions of violence, anti-Semitism

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“I have a tall vanilla latte for…” you narrow your eyes, only now reading the name written on the side of the cup: Voldemort. You sigh. “Taehyung. Tall vanilla latte for Taehyung.” He always does this.

Your best friend’s big brother approaches the counter with a smirk. “Are you sure that’s what it says on the cup?”

You hand him the drink. “Don’t you have better things to do than bother me at work?”

“I wish I did. Eunjin needed me to pick her up since someone–” he eyes you pointedly– “Is gonna be pulling a double today.”

“You’re being a bigger brat about it than Eunjin, and she’s the one that actually needs the lift. What kinda big brother are you?” You flap your hand at him. “Now shoo, I’ve got work to do.”

Taehyung smiles easily. “Yes, ma’am.”

Much, much later, you hang up your apron and sigh. It’s getting colder, and you’re not excited to learn the new holiday-themed drink recipes. If they’re not aesthetic enough, you know the customers will just throw a fit until you remake it. ‘Tis the season, after all.

You sigh. You’re tired of Christmas, tired of the decorations that are up from November to February, tired of consumerism, and tired of people assuming that you celebrate Christmas. 

You don’t. You’re Jewish. And while you’re happy that others enjoy the merry-jolly holiday cheer, you could do without the Christmas-ness of it all. It’s not like anyone’s ever said ‘happy Hanukkah’ to you.

“See ya around, y/n,” Namjoon, your manager, calls after you as you head out the door. “Merry Christmas.”

You smile dryly. “Yep, happy holidays.”

That Saturday, you’re at your best friend’s house, staring at– and yet not quite reading– your Economics notes.

“Man, like, how are you supposed to fix capitalism?” you groan eventually, flopping on Eunjin’s lap. 

“I dunno,” she laughs, laying down her notebook. “Throw billionaires at the Invisible Hand?”

“I can think of one place to throw them,” you retort, standing up and stretching. “I’m gonna make some coffee. Want anything?”

“A girlfriend.” “Besides that.”

“Some water?” You grin. “That I can do.” Humming to yourself, you make your way to Eunjin’s kitchen. You’ve been best friends since… well, forever. You’ve practically grown up in her house, and vice versa. Of course, the downside of being friends with Eunjin is…

“Boo.”

“Gah!” You yelp, a shudder running through your body when you feel Taehyung blow on the back of your neck. “You dickhead!”

Taehyung roars with laughter, not even flinching when you rear back and kick him in the shin. “Someone’s feeling feisty today.”

“You sure that someone is me?” you reply, fetching your favorite mug. “You’re the one going out of your way to bother us.”

Taehyung shrugs. “My winter break started early. It’s not like I’ve got finals to study for. So I’m bored. And when I’m bored…”

“You annoy us, I got it.” You stick your tongue out at him while spooning instant coffee into your mug. “Get yourself a girlfriend if you have so much time on your hands.”

Taehyung opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again. “Sounds hard. I’ll pass.”

“You– whatever. I give up.” Coffee in hand, you march back to the living room without another word.

Several hours pass. “Economics is the study of the allocation of scarce resources,” you mimic your professor’s dry tone. “And economies of scale… can fuck all the way off.”

“Hey, what’s the difference between economic justice and economic equity?” Eunjin asks, staring at her notebook in confusion.

“I don’t know, let’s just be communist,” you reply. “Oh, I can’t pick you up from your internship tomorrow, I’m pulling another double shift.”

Eunjin ruffles your hair. “You work too hard. Yo, Tae! Can you pick me up tomorrow?”

“What, is little miss barista busy?” Taehyung calls from the living room. 

Yeah, you’re busy. Hanukkah starts soon, the twenty-fifth is next week, and the holiday rush seems to get more intense every year. Besides, your tuition isn’t getting any cheaper, and you could use every shift you can take. 

“It’s getting late, I’m gonna head home,” you yawn gathering your things. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see ya.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“I’ve got an oat milk macchiato for…” you sigh inwardly. On the cup is written the name Aphrodite, goddess of love. “Taehyung?”

And of course, Taehyung swoops in and plucks the drink from your hand. “Man, I thought I’d get you this time.”

“You’re early today,” you reply.

“Eh, yeah. I’ll kill time here while waiting for Eunjin.”

You’re tempted to reach across the counter and boop his nose, but then you’d have to go wash your hands and he’d be achieving his goal of keeping you from your job. “Suit yourself.”

A couple of hours pass. Taehyung continues nursing his macchiato while scrolling through his phone, and you try to ignore him as you make drink after drink. 

“Two Americanos and a raspberry iced tea for Julian?” you call, sliding the drinks across the counter. Business has slowed to a crawl, with the only customers besides Taehyung being three young men loudly discussing their weekend plans.

They approach, grabbing their drinks.

“Enjoy! Happy holidays,” you say brightly. It’s so slow your manager might cut you early. You begin wiping down the espresso machine when you sense someone staring at you. The guy from earlier– Julian– apparently didn’t follow his friends out the door. “Can I get you something else?” you ask automatically. 

“Don’t you mean merry Christmas?”

“Uh… what?”

“Christmas is next week. Don’t you mean merry Christmas?”

Is he high? “I thought I said happy holidays?” Maybe you imagined it and forgot to say it aloud.

“No, I heard that.” Julian takes another step forward, leaning over the counter. Namjoon is at the register, and you can tell he’s wondering if this guy is giving you trouble. “Happy holidays is what the liberals say to destroy Christmas instead of offending the other snowflakes.”

Your eyes widen. Is this seriously happening?

“So instead of this ‘happy holidays’ bullshit,” Julian says as his friends reenter, clearly looking for him, “you say merry Christmas, sir. Understand?”

Gross. He’s gross. You want him out of the store now. You glue on your best customer service smile and say the only thing you can think of– “Okay.”

Julian glares at you with what you can only call unwarranted hatred. “Say merry Christmas, or I’m never coming back.”

Good.

“Hey yo, Julian, let’s just go,” his friend tugs on his arm, glancing at you nervously.

You purse your lips. You have witnesses, and you know Namjoon will call the authorities at a moment’s notice if the guy turns violent. “Sorry, I don’t celebrate Christmas, so I prefer saying ‘happy holidays’ to include everyone.” 

“You don’t celebrate Christmas?” Julian spits. “What are you, a dirty Jew?”

You recoil at his words, too shocked to cry, to breath. This has never happened to you before. The way his tone paints you as less than human feels like a knife in your gut.

Julian notices your reaction. “You are, huh? How do you like gas chambers?”

“O-kay, line way crossed, buddy. How about you leave before-” Namjoon strolls towards towards Julian with purpose, but before he can reach the guy–

Taehyung clasps Julian’s shoulder tightly. “Hi.” he says smoothly, his voice laced with something dark. “That’s my friend you’re talking to. I think you’re going to want to take that back.”

“Julian, come on, man,” his friend urges, clearly worried that you’ll call the cops.

“Y/n, go to the back.” Namjoon says, not taking his eyes off Julian and Tae. “You’ve got a car, right? I’m letting you go early.”

“I-I-” Julian’s eyes, full of malice, follow you as you go to the back and hang up your apron. What else can you do? Namjoon is taking care of it, and Taehyung…

There was something in Taehyung’s voice that you’ve never heard before. Something dark, and protective, and… scary.

You decide to leave through the back after clocking out. You’re scared to pass Julian again. What if he comes back to the cafe to harass you?

You parked five minutes from the cafe, and with your head down and your hands jammed into your pockets, you speedwalk away. Just as you’re getting to the car, Eunjin calls you.

“Hey,” you say, voice cracking.

“Hey. I finished early today and Tae said you’d be able to give me a lift?”

“Ah, s-sure. What about Taehyung?”

“I dunno, man, he said something came up. See ya soon, okay?”

Something came up? But he was just in the cafe– whatever. You just want to leave. You spend the evening after work at Eunjin’s house, studying for your last final. Taehyung doesn’t arrive home until late, and you ambush him before the door’s even closed.

“What happened?” You ask.

“Nothing, nothing. Your manager called the cops and they needed witnesses,” Taehyung replies calmly.

“Oh.” Somehow you expected something less anticlimactic. “Well, I’m going to head home.”

“Be safe,” Eunjin calls from behind you.

“Yeah. Be safe.” Taehyung echoes. 

You swallow and step out into the night. They live so close by that you never bother to drive. 

What are you, a dirty Jew?

Your phone rings, startling you. “Hello?”

“Hey, y/n, it’s Namjoon. I just wanted to check in. You doing okay?”

“Y-yes,” you reply. “Did everything go alright with the police?”

“What police?”

Your brows furrow. “Ah– my friend said you called the police.”

“Oh, the tall guy? Nah, he just pulled that asshole outside. I didn’t see them after that. I was gonna call the police, but your friend said it wasn’t necessary.”

“Oh. What happened to… that guy?”

“Dunno. Are you okay coming into work tomorrow?” “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. And y/n?”

“Hm?”

“Happy Hanukkah.”

You crack a smile. “Happy Hanukkah.” By the time you hang up, you’re nearing home, and your car keys feel heavy in your pocket. You’ll just check, you decide. It’s a fifteen-minute drive to the cafe. You’ll just check. 

Fifteen minutes later, you’re standing in front of the darkened cafe. Taehyung took Julian outside, and then… what? Sent him on his way? But then why did he lie about the police?

“Ungh…” your ears pick up on a muffled groan coming from the alley behind the cafe. With dread settling in your stomach, you follow the noise into the alley.

If this were a horror movie, I’d be the first to die.

“Hello?” You whisper, switching on your phone flashlight.

“H-help…” Wait, is that coming from the dumpster? You hurriedly lift the lid, assaulted by the stench. Inside, curled up and covered in blood, is Julian.

“Oh my God, what happened to you?” You reach out, offering your hand.

“You– you! Don’t touch me!” He swats away your arm. “He’s gonna hurt me again! He told me not to get near you!”

“Who– you know what, okay, uh… let me call you an ambulance, alright?”

“He’s gonna find me,” Julian mumbles. “He’s gonna find me.”

“Who is? What happened?”

Julian meets your eyes, and you feel as though you’re looking at a dead man. “You really don’t know, do you?”

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

Happy vacation! 🌴 For your prompt request, may I submit Dean and Cas taking a non-hunt road trip for you consideration. Maybe they're on vacation too? As much as they can ever be? Destiel ship or not, and whatever other characters you want to include, if any. I hope that gets your brain juices going, and you have a not-sad before long! 😘 Thank thank thank you!

Thank you very much for the prompt!! Yeah, I had a not-sad XD It did get some of my brain juices going, and I did write something - it’s like a five-piece drabble, but I hope it’s up to your liking! The pleasure was all mine! You’re awesome!! ^-^

***

“‘Driver picks music, shotgun shuts his cakehole’, I know.” Cas declared, quoting Dean to Dean, and earning himself a grin, as he withdrew his hand from the music deck. “I was just trying my luck.”

“Your bad,” Dean shrugged, before turning up his own music. Bob Seger.

But around the time 'Beautiful Loser’ ends, Dean has given in, and is actively trying to reach a compromise with Cas on the music decision.

They listen to 'Let it be’, and okay, that’s a fine enough coincidence. Sam would’ve abused any such right Dean gave him to listen to One Direction maybe, so Dean’s grateful its Cas with him on this long-ass drive, when he’s in a sharing mood when it comes to Baby’s casette player.

*

Cas was looking out the window, serious and pensive, as if he was contemplating the truths of the Universe.

Dean could’ve scoffed, but he tried a novel approach. 'Vienna’ had just ended, following some other inspirational songs like that - and the mood was all set for a joke. Dean cleared his throat.

“And that’s the thing about life too,” Dean began, all of a sudden, hiding his smirk, one hand on the wheel and the other demonstrating in the air with vague hand motions, which Cas tried to follow, squinting and trying to process it. “Its about the journey and not the destination. You hear me, Cas?”

“I do.” Cas replied stoically, perfectly serious.

“Yeah, that’s life, man.” Dean dramatized, pulling off a straight face with much efforts. “A road, which goes on and on, and there’s no destination in sight, only in mind. Such is life too, man, and it’s the journey that’s important, because you may have goals in your head, but you can’t see them - you’ve just gotta keep living, and keep going down that road.”

“Oh.” Cas absorbs, like Dean is spilling gems of wisdom here.

“Driving to a hunt is something completely other than driving for the sake of driving, Cas,” It’s getting harder and harder for Dean to keep up the act of wise, when Cas looks at him that straight-faced. “Driving on an open road, on the road to nowhere yet everywhere is the best feeling - driving without a destination that’s the true essence of living, and of driving.”

“Dean.” Cas blinked, and began to speak in his monotonous baritone. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but we do have a destination.”

Dean frowns at him.

“Do you not remember?” Cas goes on, sincere as all hell. “We’re going to the beach. Sam is driving there with Jack, but he took a detour to pick up Claire and Kaia - and I - I have Google Maps on my phone, in case you forget the route as Sam said you might.”

“Goddammit Cas,” Dean rolls his eyes, unable to believe his freaking ears. “Did you really just think I was serious, right there?”

“You sounded explicitly like you meant it. I believed you were influenced by all the Billy Joel we’ve been listening to.”

“It’s called a goddamn joke.” Dean glared back, incredulous. “It hurts me to think you could ever think of me as that kind of a pretentious dumbass, I sounded worse than Kale-Sam, you dumbass!”

Cas fell silent. “I’m sorry..?”

“You just lost the right to be subjected to a joke ever, Cas. Think about what you did, I’m not talking to you anymore.” Dean smirked at him, and turned his attention more dedicatedly to the road, feeling the nag of Castiel’s disappointed-in-himself stare until he turns up the volume and Bon Jovi begins to play.

*

“We could talk instead,” Cas suggests, all of a sudden, when Dean’s sifting through his CDs. “There’s been a lot of songs, all day.”

“You say it like that’s a bad thing.” Dean shot back. “And talk, Cas? What about? The whole point of a vacation is that we don’t work or talk about it -”

“Then let’s talk about something else, Dean.” Cas adds, as if it were that obvious.

“Like?”

“I don’t know,” Cas defended. “The talking was my idea. If I suggest the topics too, what will be your contribution, Dean?”

Dean laughs at that, because it’s a well-worn joke but hearing Cas say it is different, because he’s Cas, and he’s not really supposed to say things like this. Except when he does, and surprises him, and Dean’s speechless for a pleasant fucking change. “'Kay, smartass, I’ll contribute.”

Cas waits, with a smile prompt on his lips, bringing out some newish dimples.

“I’ll contribute by laughing or in monosyllables, as you tell me a story.” Dean spoke, without really thinking about it. “I’m driving, so you should be the one doing the talking anyways - and it was your brilliant idea, so hit me with your best move now! Amuse me, Castiel.”

“Fine. May I speak of themes which don’t include your Earth?”

Dean has to turn his head ninety degrees to see the expression on Cas’s face before he realizes that the angel is hella serious.

He nods, stifling a grin, and Cas begins - sounding more into 'talking’, than he’s hardly ever been - and it’s a good look on him.

*

“Its getting late, Dean.” Cas remarked. “Will we drive all night?”

“Yeah, probably.” Dean replied, unthinking. “Why?”

“Well, Sam told me you’d probably put up at a truck stop since we’re on a vacation, and I’d like to be ready if you do.” Cas answered, simply.

“Ready?” Dean repeated.

“I mean, mentally.” Cas nodded. “To be around company.”

“Yeah, you around freakin’ chicks is a fairytale.” Dean chuckled, before shaking his head. “And, nah. No truck stops, no cheap roadhouses. If you want, though, we can check in at some motel.”

“I don’t sleep.”

“Peachy. Then we can dine in that awesome steak place in Aspen,” Dean hummed under his breath as he reminisced upon the said item. “And take it on from there, for the rest of the night.”

“Of course. And if you’re ever tired,” Cas smiled. “I don’t sleep, so I can drive.”

“That’s never happening, but hey, you offered,” Dean raised his eyebrows and smirked at him. “Points for efforts, Cas. But I’m staying behind the wheel and you can stay put just where you are, all night.”

Almost obstinately, and with a deliberate frown, Cas shifted an inch towards the middle. “I’m more comfortable here.”

“Ah, a rebel,” Dean threw his head back and laughed, having to swerve dangerously to get out of the way of a truck - which made Cas stretch to take the wheel from him, which resulted in Dean swatting his hand away and telling him to trust my skills, Cas, driving’s the one thing I can actually do!

*

Cas was smiling. That was the thing. He didn’t smile all that much, and when he did, it was mostly because of a lame joke that earned him a courtesical smile - or genuine prevention-of-an-apocalypse happiness. But here he was, smiling for the sake of it, fucking glowing even in the little light of the moon. All eye crinkles and multiple dimples, and absolutely no words on his lips, as he prepped his elbow on the rolled down window - mirroring Dean - and looked our the window.

Dean liked seeing him like this, and if there was a warm feeling behind his ribs, it was probably because he felt sorta responsible. He had to be, right? Cas and him had driven, side by side, across miles and miles of road, for hours on end. They’d listened to classics, talked about craters on the moon, and occasionally, steaks medium rare. It had been a good day.

“You’re in a good mood today, buddy.” Dean couldn’t help himself, when Cas sipped from his beer with the smile consistently dangling from his lips.

“Yes, well, I do not like being stuck in the backseat as much as you’d think.” Cas threw back, with as relaxed a tone as one’d ever get from him.

“If you want me to advocate you being shotgun, or at least suggest rock-paper-scissors between you and Sam for getting to sit next to me - what’s in it for me?” Dean smirked, sliding closer to Cas.

“I’d like to believe that I take up less space, will let you play your albums without sneaking mine into the player, and am considerably less likely to complain about your driving.” Cas returned, crinkling into a smile that even showed his gums, and yep. Dean could live with this sort of smiles from his Angel.

“Throw in being like this all the time, and Sold.” Dean winked, resisting the urge to lean in and do something, because Cas looked happy and wonderful and yeah, this was a goddamm vacation that they’d earned, and he was gonna celebrate the hell outta it.

[crystalrequiem]

The Voice that Urged Orpheus

[Part 3/6(?)] [TRC] Summary: Kurogane learns more about a mysterious new world and accidentally seals his own doomed fate. Tags: Kuro/Fai, Canon Universe, Post-Canon, Warnings:  suggestive thoughts and implications (nothing graphic), People assuming married status, GOD, so much fluff, Is it still slow-burn if they’re already in a relationship? because that’s basically what this is. [Part 1] [Part 2]... [Part 4]

Honestly this section probably should have just been included with the one previous. Not as happy with it because it feels less... cohesive? directed? meh.  Nevertheless I feel like it’s necessary to set up some of the world-building so I can get to the good points later. Hope you still enjoy! I really look forward to reading your comments and tags. They seriously keep me going!  

The shopkeep, it turns out, does look a little familiar. She has dark-skin and a well-toned frame, pretty face framed by a shower of pink, fluffy hair. He doesn’t think any version of her has ever been a particularly close friend, but something about her rings a bell anyway.

“Hello, hello! Your young friend here was just telling me you wa—wow.” She seems perfectly amiable but the moment Fai steps fully into view, her whole expression shifts. Her jaw drops, and the wide eyes she graces them with matches the expressions they’ve been earning outside. “Oh-ho-kay, Hi! I’m so sorry; I didn’t think anyone from the academy would stop by, uh. How—how can I help you?”

Kurogane and Fai search each other out long enough to share a moment of confusion.

“Academy?” the mage echoes. However badly Kurogane’s attempt at reassurance rattled him before, he displays no indication now. Given his ability to bury his feelings beneath exhausting layers of façade, this comes as no surprise.

“Yes? I mean—I just assumed… what with your magic the way it is—” She glances from Fai to Kurogane and back, shock and bewilderment only incrementing. “Do you—are you two sharing the same magic?”

Alright, so they’ve at least found a reason for the staring. Apparently the people of this world can commonly sense magic, and they find something strange. Something about himself and Fai, in particular. Kurogane breathes a little easier given an idea of what makes them stand out. He just wishes he had any hope of keeping up with the why. Magic focused-worlds make his head spin.  

At least for right now, Fai seems equally clueless.

“No, I don’t think we are,” he answers, bemused.  

“Wow. Hunh.” Her eyes catch on something they can’t see, staring into the empty air between them.

“Actually, Miss Caldina,” Syaoran leaps to the rescue in the awkward silence that follows. “When I said we were travelers from far away, I meant… We’re from very far. We don’t really know anything about this place. Is there any way you could explain a few things about the area?”

The woman, apparently named Caldina, breaks herself from her trance. She pats her face with both hands hard enough to produce a resounding slap. “Sorry! That was rude of me. Let’s start over. Hello, Welcome to the Enchantress. Why don’t you nice folks ask me your questions and I’ll see what I can do?”

A world where everyone can see and use magic.

Kurogane doesn’t get most of what Caldina says, nor does he really understand what Fai and Syaoran ask in return, but he understands that much. People here… see magic. How much potential people have, the spells they cast, the lingering enchantments in his arm, and now his cloak.

According to the shopkeep, Syaoran’s magic stands out on its own—a prodigy, for certain. That alone might distract the townsfolk, but… Fai brings it to a whole other level.

Apparently Fai’s magic is dazzling. He stands visibly above the rest. Caldina had taken a single look and assumed he must belong to the city’s prestigious Academy, where this world’s best casters gather to learn and teach, developing the field of magic further. Then she’d spotted Kurogane and nearly had a heart attack.

“It’s like looking at a flame about to go out—for I second I thought you were dead! No offense!” He doesn’t know how the comparison to a corpse should not offend him, but in the context of magic he supposes he doesn’t mind. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone live with as little magic. I thought your husband must have been pulling from you or masking you or something.”

Chaos reigns as soon as she completes the sentence. Mokona bursts into a flurry of giggles, rolling across Syaoran’s shoulders. The Kid stares at his fellow travelers like a deer caught in lamplight, and Kurogane… looks to Fai.

The mage doesn’t react to Caldina’s mistaken assumption save for the extra-bright flush rising to his cheeks, visible even despite the sunburn.

“Well,” he murmurs, lips quirked in a teasing half-smile, “You’d be surprised how little magic people really need to live.” He doesn’t contradict her. He wants to tease—to fall back into their game of overreaction and meaningless words. Fai meets Kurogane’s eye like he’s issuing a challenge—just waiting for the embarrassment to overwhelm the surly ninja and push him to set the record straight.

He doesn’t.

Once upon a time he would have died of mortification and flown right off the handle to hear someone call Fai his husband. But right now… well it’s kind of his goal, isn’t it? It only annoys him that apparently people other than Fai don’t need his intentions spelled out for them.

Eventually, his family realizes he doesn’t plan to say a word. Mokona’s celebration falls to a hush and Syaoran clearly has no idea what to do. Fai’s expression remains implacable, save for the distinctive blush still written on his face.

“Sorry, did I say something wrong?” Caldina drawls.

“Not really! It’s just that those two aren’t married..?” Syaoran takes pity on them all and lets her know, though the fact that he phrases it as a question doesn’t skip Kurogane’s notice.

The poor shopkeeper visibly takes a moment to process this information, flabbergasted. She stares again at whatever it is she can trace between himself and Fai, and shakes her head. “Why not?” her expression reads quite clearly. And boy, does Kurogane not have an answer to that.

“I’m doing a great job of putting my foot in my mouth today.”

“It’s fine! Sometimes Mokona forgets they aren’t really married too.” The manjuu chimes amidst nervous laughter.

Kurogane huffs and turns away, tuning out the cheerful banter that follows. Maybe this is part of his problem. After everything, he feels so close to Fai that even marriage can’t quite encapsulate what they already are to each other. In the end, the extra title of “husbands” won’t change them. It won’t make Fai more or less than he is, or guarantee a forever, or do anything other than put a layer of formality over what they already have.  

Still… there’s something about that formalization that he wants. A definite moment in time he can point to as a promise made, a good memory he can give to Fai who has so many to outweigh it, a declaration of intent that the world can’t ignore… He wants to ask for that.

Maybe he’s just a sentimental fool.

He emerges from his thoughts, watching as the shopkeeper purchases a few of their curios for what seems like a decent sum of currency. They exit the shop with a little more confidence and directions to the famed Academy of Chizeta.

“Shall we?” Fai charms, gesturing theatrically towards the direction of the supposed academy. His early sunburn has settled on a pink that gives him a permanent look of over-heated exertion.

Kurogane squints in the too-bright sunlight, but only Fai truly blinds him. The jerk has no business being so damn attractive. Especially not when he’s going to permanently damage his skin at this rate, walking around with his hood down. The urge to thread his fingers through sweat-dampened gold and kiss that stupid grin off his face strikes Kurogane with all the force of a hurricane. He reaches out before he can stop himself and only manages to switch tacks at the last second, tugging Fai’s hood up far enough to cover his eyes.

“You’re gonna burn, dumbass.”

The line of Fai’s mouth tilts from shocked to pleased in moments, and the mage laughs, reaching up to adjust his cloak enough to see. Shit, Kurogane feels weak to that sound every time—unguarded and honest.

“Looking out for me?” Fai teases.

“Always.”

The word escapes him before he can think twice, but he can’t regret it. At least it forms some part of the mess he so badly wants to communicate. This time, Fai takes his desperate sentimentality a little better. He shakes his head, frustration and affection swimming in a churning cocktail of emotion behind his too-blue gaze.

“You’re hopeless.” He touches Kurogane’s shoulder as he sighs the words, sending a renewed burst of magic into the fabric that cuts right through the re-building heat.

“Can we really be sure they aren’t married though?” Mokona’s voice shatters the moment, and Fai and Kurogane both startle badly. He lunges for the damn pork bun, ready to pound it into mochi, before he thinks better of it and remembers that the world outside his Mage exists. They’ve already begun to draw stares again. Maybe Fai’s use of magic just now looked particularly interesting? He doesn’t know.

They start their sojourn toward the school in good spirits, even despite the heat and the persistent attention. He finds himself far less paranoid, even if so many eyes still make him feel like he doesn’t quite fit in his own skin. Syaoran and Fai take the lead, talking softly about cooling charms and how they work. Eventually, Mokona catches on that his cloak has already been ensorcelled and burrows into his hood without his permission. Annoying, but… well he can’t blame the manjuu for seeking out a little relief. It is hot. Part of him wonders why Fai hasn’t copied the spell on his own clothes or Syaoran’s, whether the spell might have taken more work than he thought, and whether he should pass the chilled cloak around in turns… He’ll suggest it when they stop next.

Either way, the enchantment does its work well. The ache of his shoulder nearly disappears as magic wicks the heat away. Less distracted by pain, he has a far easier time monitoring the stares they gather. He can track the eyes of others lining the crowded city streets as they trace lines of invisible magic. A few people glance his way in confusion, but for the most part, Fai and Syaoran draw a majority of the attention.

He thinks of Caldina, pleased and impressed just by the sight of them, able to gauge magic power with a glance, and something like pride struggles to escape him. It buoys upwards, a nervous bubble caught in his chest. So maybe he feels like the kid and mage deserve a little recognition… surely there’s nothing strange about that.

He can’t help wondering what they must look like.

“Everyone is so interested in Fai! Seeing magic must be very exciting. Mokona wants to see too.” The pork bun mirrors his thoughts and sours his mood, speaking in that tinny voice far too close to his ear. He’s not prepared to hear the mage answer,

“Oh, it’s not so exciting really….” Fai’s gaze drifts somewhere distant as he trails off. Sadness seeps through the cracks in his mask—hard to see, but Kurogane can find it in the way he holds himself. Old, and tired. Burdened by some bad memory. The kids don’t notice.

“Does that mean you can see magic too, Fai?” Syaoran voices the thought aloud, quiet enough to escape the hearing of any onlookers, and the mage’s smile sharpens. He focuses on the boy and that heart-twisting sorrow bleeds away.

“Not naturally, like people in this world can, but there’s an old spell for it from… well.” He waves a hand, as if to knock the words from the air. Kurogane knows somehow with a distant pang that he would have said “Valeria.” “I can show you later if you really want, but I promise it’s not as exciting as it sounds.”

The kids both chorus out a “Mokona does really want,” and “Yes, Please!” to the surprise of no one. Fai must have expected the children to say as much; he doesn’t so much as blink when he hears them. No. Only Kurogane’s quiet, “Sure,” shocks Fai enough to forget his words and halt him mid-step.

His cheeks burn with the weight of a different sort of stare and Kurogane looks to see his family gaping.

“What,” he grouches, and Fai rewards him with another honest laugh.

“Nothing at all, Kuro-sama.” He turns back to the path and keeps walking, careful to make sure Syaoran keeps up. “The spell has to be cast by the viewer to work. I meant to teach Syaoran, but… well…” He glances over his shoulder at both Kurogane and Mokona, smiles that slow, easy smile Kurogane loves so much. “I guess I’ll see what I can do.”  

Kurogane manages to choke out a gruff, “thanks,” and tries to ignore everyone the rest of the way to the Academy. Between Mokona’s muffled snickering at his ear and the way Fai’s every breath draws his attention like a moth to flame, he does not succeed. He tries to imagine what the magic might look like—Fai somehow brighter and more incandescent than he already is, blue eyes cutting through his soul, that signature white and blue written into his skin or drifting off him in waves...

…Fuck. He’s so doomed.

[justsomebucky]

The Hot Christmas Date

Summary: AU. Bucky Barnes makes it his mission to show his best friend, Reader, that sometimes, a little cheesiness is good for the heart.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (mention of Steve x Peggy)

Word Count: 2,437

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, Christmas stuff, Love Actually references (okay, I stole from that movie), total cheese, bad photoshop, I’m rusty cause I haven’t written Bucky in a month, sorry

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Emily’s ( @buckthegrump) Writing Challenge. Thanks for letting me play. My prompt was “You didn’t see anything.” but it’s only mentioned in passing.

Ah, Christmas…a time for family, friends, presents, parties, classic movies, snowball fights…all the good stuff that gets shown on TV…right?

Mostly, if you celebrated, that is. Some years you did, some years you didn’t.

You figured that since you were in fact at a Christmas party on Christmas Eve, it counted. You didn’t make the rules.

Anyway.

The living room of the apartment was full of other party-goers, food, drinks, and a brilliantly lit tree. There was a little menorah and a few other holiday mementos on the table for guests who didn’t celebrate Christmas, which was a nice touch. You were sat on the couch by yourself listening to the best of Frank Sinatra play from the TV.

The reason you were there was because your best friend, Bucky Barnes, asked you to be. He claimed he had to go because it was being thrown by his other best friend, Steve, but you knew he wanted to be here, and you weren’t about to be a jerk about it.

Steve was a nice guy. He had been dating and living with a woman named Peggy for a while now, probably over a year. They honestly were relationship goals, straight out of a Hallmark movie or something, only a little less cheesy (since either of them could kick anyone’s ass).

That left New York City with one less amazing guy available to date. You would think that in a city of over eight million people, one of them would be meant for you. Now you weren’t so sure.

Lately, moving to a new city had been on your mind. You wondered briefly what Boston would be like, or Denver, or Miami, or Pittsburgh…there were so many places to choose from if you could just pluck up the courage to move away.

But then you’d think, what could smaller cities offer you that New York couldn’t? This place was your first love, after all, and to leave it behind would mean giving up on your lifelong dream to be a New Yorker.

You’d have lots of other things you’d be leaving behind. Your job, for one, and your friends, including your best friend in the whole world…

Right on time, Bucky pressed a drink into your hand and sat down beside you.

“Why are you moping alone here?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“I’m not moping,” you protested, taking a sip from the cup. You hadn’t even asked for a drink but it was a nice gesture. It’s like he knew what you wanted before you did.

“I saw you glaring at the tree.”

“You didn’t see anything,” you shot back, setting the cup down on the side table before turning back to him. “Besides, you weren’t even in the room.”

“True.” Bucky ran a hand through his hair, exposing a strong jawline with just a smidgen of stubble. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t see you, Y/N. You’re my favorite person. I know you.”

It really was too bad you weren’t attracted to Bucky that way. Sure, he was handsome, but the two of you were just friends. He’d make someone very happy someday.

“So who was she this time?” You looked away, back over to where Steve and Peggy had entered the room arm-in-arm and smiling happily. A bit of jealousy wormed its way into your heart, but not enough to override your happiness for them.

“What?”

“The girl you found to hit on. Who was she?” Your eyes flickered back over to Bucky’s. The flecks of grey in his eyes stood out thanks to the sweater he was wearing. He always had this habit of looking like he just stepped out of a Tom Ford fashion shoot.

Bucky looked genuinely confused. “I was talking to Steve.”

Again, the timing was just right as a redheaded woman came over to Bucky and smiled at him.

“Hey there, Buckaroo. Nice to see you again.”

You stared at her face, trying to place her but coming up empty. You wondered if they had a history together that you weren’t aware of.

“You too, Natasha.” Bucky’s smile was polite, his eyes unchanging.

There was no good reason for that to offer you a sense of relief. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he would leave with Natasha. You decided that if he were to leave you again for any extended period, you would probably just excuse yourself and call it an early night.

Natasha was pretty obviously flirting with him. “Maybe later we can catch up?”

“Maybe.” He gave a non-committal shrug.

She finally got the memo, because she nodded briefly at you then gave him one last smile before heading for the kitchen.

“That was cold,” you told him, giving him a look. “Since when are you so distant to beautiful women?”

Bucky glanced over at you, brows furrowed. “I don’t hit on every woman that looks my direction, Y/N. Nice to know that’s what you think of me.”

You shook your head. “It’s not, Buck, I just…You haven’t been on any dates lately and I’m worried about you.”

“Worried,” he echoed, a bemused look lighting his eyes. “That’s rich coming from the woman who claims her motto is ‘Netflix and Forever Alone.’”

“Hmph.” You settled back against the couch, scanning the room again. “Out of all these faces, Buck, I only know the three of you, and you’re my best friend so you have to put up with me. No one else is talking to me.”

Whatever protest he might have had was cut off by Steve clearing his throat pretty loudly.

You gave Bucky a questioning look, but he just smiled and turned his attention to the middle of the room.

“I just wanted to thank everyone for showing up tonight, I know you all probably had a lot of invitations you could have accepted instead of ours. We appreciate you.”

“Feh,” you muttered, trying not to laugh as Bucky elbowed you gently.

“We also appreciate that you’re unknowingly here to celebrate with us,” Peggy continued, her brown eyes bright. “Steve has just asked me to marry him, and I said yes.” She flashed the gorgeous diamond ring on her hand, grinning happily.

Everyone in the room erupted in cheers and congratulations, and Steve and Peggy were instantly swarmed.

“Did you know he was proposing tonight?”

Bucky grinned. “Yep. I even helped him with his proposal speech. I’m good at being romantic apparently.”

He really was. Ugh.

“You don’t think it’s a little cheesy? A Christmas proposal?” You made a face. “It’s so cliché.”

“Oh, come on,” he said, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “Don’t be a downer. It’s what Peggy wanted. She’s been dropping hints for months now.”

“Hmm.” You had more to add to your argument, but now that his arm was around you, you seemed to have forgotten what you wanted to say.

Bucky gave your shoulders a little squeeze. “Like you don’t watch all those sappy romance movies. ‘Love Actually’ practically depends on cheesy moments for the entire plot!”

“Hey,” you retorted indignantly. “That’s a classic. It set the standard.”

“Really? For what, stalking? Stereotypes?”

“Now who’s the downer?”

The crowd was starting to clear, so you stood up and straightened your clothes. “I’m going to go over now. Be right back.”

Before he could say another word, you walked over to Steve and Peggy and congratulated them with complete sincerity in your voice. They were the lucky ones, you said.

Just before Peggy pulled away, she leaned over and whispered in your ear. “Speaking of lucky, just a heads up. Bucky’s got a hot date planned tonight.”

O…kay? Why would she tell you that?

You didn’t have time to question her words or her smile, though, as more guests appeared to give their well wishes. You moved to the side, then glanced back over to the couch.

Bucky was talking to another woman, a brunette this time with big doe eyes and killer legs. Was she the hot date Peggy was referring to?

You didn’t know Peggy all that well. You only really saw her on the rare occasions that you showed up as Bucky’s plus-one to outings with her and Steve. She probably didn’t realize that while you loved Bucky very much as a friend, you had no interest in knowing what (or who) he was doing in his love life.

It was just better that way.

Ya know, since you were forever alone and all.

Why build resentment toward your best friend? Just because he could get dates doesn’t mean you had a right to hold it against him. It wasn’t his fault you were un-datable. There was just no need. If he wanted to take Legs-For-Days out on Christmas Eve, let him.

You marched over to him and reached for your jacket on the arm of the couch, offering both him and his Legs a smile. “I’m gonna head out, Bucky. I’ll see you…well, whenever. Goodnight, and Merry Christmas.”

“Wait, Y/N, I’ll walk you home,” he said, trying to stand up even though Legs was blocking his way.

“No, you sit and have your hot date.” You couldn’t stop yourself, turning away so he didn’t see the surprise on your face at your own words. “Goodnight!”

An hour later, your third floor Brooklyn apartment was all set for a long night in. You had ‘Love Actually’ waiting to play (mostly for spite), your warm pajamas on, some hot cocoa, and a bowl of snack mix in front of you. That was all you really needed. You turned off the overhead light so that only the glare from the TV and your fairy lights cast a glow over the room.

This wasn’t so bad, you figured. If you had to be alone, at least you were safe and comfortable. Bucky could keep his hot date.

Love was better in fiction, anyway. It was borderline unrealistic. Love didn’t leave you behind in the movies, it showed up looking for you. Love appeared when you least expected it to but just at the right time.

All you really wanted was for someone to genuinely love you...someone for you to love in return, to not just face the good times with, but the bad, the terrible, the depressing...

That’s why real life would never compare. Maybe your expectations were too high, but nothing in your dating life had come close. Real life meant dating apps and disappointing conversation. It meant a lack of chemistry and another wasted evening. It meant people bailing when things were tough.

No thanks.

You didn’t need anybody if that’s how it was going to be.

Carolers had been roaming the halls of your apartment building earlier, so when your door buzzed you figured it was your turn for them to visit and ignored it.

A couple more buzzes were followed up with incessant knocking, so you heaved a sigh and threw off your blanket, padding over to the door. You could already sort of hear the music beyond the door. Those people had better be really good singers to drag you away from your fictional movie romance.

When you swung the door open, you could hardly believe your eyes.

Bucky stood there, dressed in the same clothes from the party only now with a Santa hat on his head. His iPhone was tucked in his pocket so that music could still be heard, in this case, ‘The Christmas Waltz’ by Frank Sinatra.

He had giant cue cards in his hand...just like the guy from ‘Love Actually.’

Was he seriously doing this? Of all the things you were expecting, this was definitely not even on the radar.

“Oh my god,” you said, wide-eyed. “Bucky, what-?”

Bucky held a finger to his mouth, even though the point of that in the movie was to stop someone else from hearing and you were totally alone.

He really was recreating this scene..he was going for it.

You bit back a grin as he started with the cue cards.

Once you finished reading the last card, your eyes flickered back up to Bucky’s and you were blown away by the emotion in them.

“What do you say?” he asked softly, setting the cards against the wall as he moved closer to you.

Out-of-body experiences were real, you decided, because you felt like you were having one right then.

“When did this even become a thing?” you asked, still reeling. “You haven’t ever shown interest in me like that, Bucky. I’m a little confused here.”

“I’ve been in love with you for months,” Bucky admitted, leaning one hand on the door frame. “Totally, utterly in love. I’ve just been such chicken shit…too scared to even bring it up, because I thought you friend-zoned me.”

Now that you thought about it…he hadn’t brought anyone new around for a while. “Is that why you stopped dating?”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “I stopped because you seemed to be getting jealous. I thought I was finally reading the signs correctly.” Bucky took a step closer, eyes intense. “Tell me I’m not wrong.”

You stared at him as you thought back to all the signs that were there for months now, maybe even years. Hindsight was truly ridiculous.  

You were in love with your best friend.

This whole time, every bit of anger or jealousy…it was because you wanted him to love you back but thought he didn’t. And apparently, he did return the feelings.

Maybe ‘Love Actually’ had a realistic point after all. Being in love with your best friend was pretty cliché, after all.

“You’re not wrong,” you confirmed, smiling so hard your cheeks started to hurt as he enveloped you in his arms and planted a big kiss on your cheek.

You’d been so sure that something like this would never be meant for you…it had never felt better to be so, so wrong.

“That was pretty cheesy though,” you added.

“I had to resort to something big. Peggy told me earlier today that you mentioned moving away, and Doll, you know that would break my heart.”

You squeezed him tighter. “No incentive now, although I don’t know how you could possibly get any cornier. You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

He let out a soft chuckle, still holding on. “You loved it, almost as much as I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you, too.”

Bucky pulled back to look at you with a warm smile, cupping your face gently. “Best Christmas ever.”

And just like any good romance, he followed it up with the perfect kiss.

Credit to jesuisombrenoir for their Sebby Writing 2.0 font used in the photoshop.

Merry Christmas, if you celebrate. If you don’t, Happy Monday.

[marauder--harder]

CONGRATS ON 1K, MY LOVE! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! Can I get a marauders ship? I think you probably know me well enough that I don't need to include a description, but you can always message me if you do!!! (Also this is Renee/goblackhatwithme 😉)

Renee! My dude, my darling, my ever-loving doll, thank you. I hope you enjoy your ship, b.

(Note: Sorry, but Renee, as my OG number one, she gets slight special treatment. Don’t kill me. :) )  

ERA: Founders | Riddle | Marauders | Lightning | Next Gen

HOUSE: Slytherin | Gryffindor | Ravenclaw | Hufflepuff

WHO I SHIP YOU WITH: Remus John Lupin!

YOUR BEST FRIEND AT HOGWARTS: Sirius Black.

BLOOD STATUS: Muggle-born | Half-blood | Pure-blood

PET:  Owl | Toad | Cat | Rat | Something Hagrid would smuggle in

BEST CLASS: Potions | Transfiguration | Astronomy | History of Magic | Herbology | Charms | Care of Magical Creatures | Defence Against the Dark Arts

WORST CLASS: Potions | Transfiguration | Astronomy | History of Magic | Herbology | Charms | Care of Magical Creatures | Defence Against the Dark Arts

QUIDDITCH POSITION: Chaser | Beater | Keeper | Seeker | Commentator (bc omg I could listen to you talk about hockey for hours) | Crowd

STUDENT POSITION: Student | Brightest in the Class | Prankster | Quidditch Captain | Prefect | Head Girl / Boy

FUTURE JOB: Auror | Broom Maker | Curse Breaker | Dragonologist | Healer | Herbologist | Potioneer | Professor | Quidditch Player | Spell Inventor | Wandmaker | Journalist | Ministry Worker

FAVORITE SPELL: Riddikulus. You always could enjoy the fact that you had control over the things that you feared. It felt like you could have a better grip on things when things became too much. 

SHIP NAME: Renmus. (But everyone just calls you Mrs. Moony)  

WHO KISSED WHO FIRST: You | Him

WHO SAID I LOVE YOU FIRST:  You | Him

WHO IS MORE PROTECTIVE: You | Him

HEADACANONS: 

so like I feel like y’all would be couple goals (which only hurts my Remus loving heart slightly) 

Like you guys are the best support system duo

People need advice- they go to the wise couple; People need a favor- they go to the couple who somehow can pull strings with everyone??

And somehow, you both become the ‘mom and pop’ type couple. 

Which is slightly strange because neither of you act too motherly or fatherly

But Remus suspects it is because you both have been through a lot together.

But that doesn’t mean y’all don’t fight

Because we all know that you guys can bicker like a married couple because “Remus, no, I am positive that you have to use the dragon horn for that.” - “Renee, for the last time you have to use the dragon blood.” (it was really the liver, but Lily would never get in the middle of your bickering.)

and both of you have bad days (and sometimes bad weeks)

But you use it to your advantage in your relationship, and somehow come out stronger because of it

Because, Remus knows just when you need a good hug and when to just let you be for a bit. He respects your boundaries, and never pushes. 

And you know just how to get right through the wall he puts up sometimes with a simple kiss or touch

James and Sirius are honestly kind of scared by how well you know each other (better than you know yourselves, they’re sure)

Speaking of the boys, they adore you with Remus. 

Sirius is very happy, and as your certified best friend (yes, he calls himself that), he must approve of everyone you date. 

Ugh, Renee and Remus would be couple goals and honestly breaks my heart. (in the best way)

CHECK UNDER THE CUT FOR THE LIL EXTRA THING, DOLL!

BLURB: (Whoops?)

Laying down on Remus’ bed, you waited for the boys to return from their late night sneak out. You were sure that they were up to some sort of mischief, as they couldn’t possibly be doing anything else at this hour. The four boys were constantly up to something, and one of these days you knew it was going to backfire. You had to just wait for their return to hear about the next prank they were most likely trying to pull on someone. 

Sighing deeply, you rolled over and sank deeper into his sheets. They smelled strongly of Remus, a comforting scent you have grown to love over the years. It smelled like home. 

Slowly, you started drifting off, and blinked slowly to try and keep your eyes from drooping. It was a long day, and you just wanted Remus to cuddle with. Glancing over at the clock, you checked the time. You really wanted to stay up long enough for Remus to come back. Truth be told, it was always a lot harder sleeping without him near; a thought you had yet to admit to yourself even if you knew it was true. You refused to seem clingy. As an young witch, you prided yourself on not being dependent on primarily anyone. Although, after long days like these, you often felt your ideals crumbling as you yearned for your boyfriend’s comforting embrace. 

You did not remember falling asleep, only the slight shuffle of the bed sheets rustling that woke you and the pull as you were now flush against someone. 

“So, was it the Slytherin common room, or Filch’s office?” You asked sleepily. 

He chuckled softly and kissed the back of your head firmly. “Neither. Just go back to sleep, love. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I was up.” A blatant lie, but you didn’t want to go back to sleep yet. 

“Sure you weren’t. I’ll tell you in the morning. Sleep now.” Another kiss, placed on your exposed shoulder. 

You smiled softly and nodded, reaching down and interlacing your fingers in his. “M’kay. G’night Moony.”

“Good night, Renee. Love you.” 

 Remus took in a deep breath and smiled as he listened to your breathing slow, a clear indication that you had fallen back asleep. He thought back to the fluttering in his heart when he walked in and saw you sleeping peacefully in his bed, obviously waiting for him to return with the boys. 

Pulling you slightly closer in his arms, he relaxed quickly. You always had that effect on him, and he loved it. Still not all too tired, he laid there for quite some time just listening to your soft, rhythmic breathing. He had been out with the boys planning, and was still slightly wired for the big surprise tomorrow. He wasn’t pulling a prank on any house, but rather it was a surprise for you as your anniversary was coming up. You were never one for big displays so you grew wary on the days leading up to any anniversaries or birthdays. So, he chose to surprise you a week early so you didn’t suspect him of anything. 

Slowly, he felt his eyes droop slightly and he fought for them to stay open just a little bit longer. He wanted to commit this moment to memory. The warmth of having you pulled flush against him. How your hair tickled his neck slightly. The sweet smell of your shampoo calming him. Yet, he fought in vain. His long night, and the calming feeling coursing through him left him contentedly sleepy. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, happily awaiting waking up next to you come morning. 

To request a ship or blurb, check out Kay’s 1k Celebration!!

[meraenthusiast]

You Are Broke Because You Root For The Underdog (S.W.A.T review)

You Are Broke Because You Root For The Underdog (S.W.A.T review)

[Editor’s Note: Today’s post is from Ryan who’s a full time police officer and personal finance blogger. Check out his blog over at ArrestYourDebt.com]

You’re broke because you root for the underdog? That’s quite a powerful assumption to make but it may actually be true. That statement serves two purposes – to get you to start thinking about money differently and to motivate you to make a positive change.

The S.W.A.T. Underdog In A Nutshell

Recently I have been watching a TV series called “S.W.A.T.” (2017 CBS TV Series) about a tactical team based out of Los Angeles, California. You may be surprised to learn that as a police officer myself, I usually avoid watching “cop shows”. Cops usually hate “cop shows” because of the ridiculous unrealistic expectations portrayed in the scenes.

**Warning – Quick Soap Box Moment**

If you have ever watched CSI, you know what I’m talking about. In a one-hour time frame, the cops can collect fingerprints and DNA from a crime scene and the lab will analyze them in about 10 minutes. The suspect is identified, the good guys catch the bad guy, and the case is closed.

Most of us hate that show because the general public now actually believes that if I collect blood from a scene, our lab will get back to us that day. In reality, if I submit blood to the lab for DNA analysis, I am lucky if I get a response within the next year. It’s painfully slow and our backlog is horrendous.

Sorry for that tangent – I’ll get off my soapbox now. Back to the point of this article.

As I watched the show S.W.A.T., I couldn’t help but identify with one of the main characters – David “Deacon” Kay.

Deacon is a senior member of a SWAT team and he quickly establishes himself as the underdog. He was recently passed over for a promotion and has his fair share of ups and downs with his wife. Since he is the only officer who is married and has children, it’s quite easy to initially identify with him.

When It Rains It Pours

In addition to workplace struggles, Deacon faces a myriad of life issues. His wife is hospitalized with seizures and his daughter is diagnosed with a heart condition. If that wasn’t enough, he finds himself facing a major plumbing repair bill of about $14,000 dollars.

Deacon is thrust into a position many of us have faced. He has more bills than money which causes him to start picking up overtime and a side gig. Rather than rolling over and admitting defeat, Deacon does everything in his power to provide for his family.

He does everything except actually set his family up for financial success. Living paycheck to paycheck has put his family in a financial mess.

Even with this extra cash coming in, it’s not enough to pay for the necessary heart surgery his daughter requires. Due to this, he makes a deal with a loan shark in order to get the money he desperately needs. As you can imagine, his life quickly begins to unravel. He’s injured on duty and can no longer work overtime or his extra job which puts him in a bad position to pay back all his bills – and the loan shark.

Cops Suck With Money [and most other people do also]

As a police officer, I know all too well how the cop mentality works. We spend 40+ hours a week fixing everyone’s problems. When we show up at a chaotic scene, we take control by any means necessary. If we don’t take control of a violent situation, people get hurt.

The police profession is filled with type “A” personalities, yet most of us are terrible with our money. You would think that control freaks, [cops] would have a structured plan in place in every aspect of their lives. The truth is, many times the only structure a cop has is at work.

Perhaps the general public is in a similar situation. People spend all their time and energy at work and when they get home, they don’t want to make any more decisions. They take control at work and don’t have the energy to take control when they get home.

We Don’t Expect To Win With Money – Why The Underdog Mentality Makes Us Losers

While Deacon’s circumstances may be a bit extreme, he’s very easy to relate with. He faces insurmountable odds and we are sympathetic towards people like him. Often we’re the “Deacon” in our own personal life. We want to succeed and win with money, but if we don’t we are not surprised.

The world tells us that it’s not our fault if we struggle financially and change may be out of our control. Our society constantly talks about the “Evil 1%” and how they control all the money. It’s almost unrealistic for us to expect to get our finances in order and build wealth because the odds seem to be stacked against us.

The Underdog Is The Natural Loser

This is where the underdog mentality comes into play. If we self identify with the underdog, we feel that we are up against insurmountable odds and if we beat them great, but if not, there was nothing we could do about it.

The underdog is someone who is never actually expected to win. That’s why it’s so great to root for them. Unexpected results are exciting compared to the status quo of daily life. However, when the underdog actually wins, the unexpected result naturally makes us happy.

“Schadenfreude” Keeps You Broke

“Schadenfreude” is a new word I learned for this article. Don’t ask me to pronounce it because I would probably get it wrong but it is an interesting concept. Schadenfreude is a concept that means we secretly or unconsciously take pleasure in seeing others fail.

For instance, many people do not like the New England Patriot’s because they’ve won so many Superbowls. People root against them simply because they win so often. If we look at this phenomenon from a financial point of view, we can often sabotage ourselves by being envious of others.

Rather than celebrating with those who have financial success, we can find ourselves secretly envious and wishing we were the successful ones rather than them. As bad as it sounds, we don’t always feel bad when rich people end up broke.

Instead of learning from other’s successes, finding ways to emulate them and to improve on what they’re doing, we tend to hope for their failure. It’s the mentality of dragging others down with us rather than climbing to the top with them.

Changing Our Financial Mindset To Finally Achieve Success

Without going into the controversies with the team, the Patriots constantly win because they have set themselves up for success. They recruit some of the best players and the team plays to win. The Patriots focus on what works and ignore what doesn’t. Each member of the team expect to win and they’re convinced they’ll be successful.

The team constantly reviews footage of prior games and they focus on what works. They build upon their successes and try to improve on what worked in the past.

Often the teams that are constantly losing review their video and focus on what they did wrong. While their intentions are good, focusing on what you are doing wrong doesn’t open many doors to improve on what you’re doing right.

Focus On What You Want In Order To Get It

Your focus has a tremendous impact on what you will achieve in this life. Years ago I went through bicycle training and I learned many life skills. When you ride a bike on an off-road trail, your focus determines your direction.

As you ride, there are cliffs, rocks, and other hazardous items in your way. If you stare at any one of these hazards and tell yourself to avoid it, you more than likely will run right into the rock. If you look straight ahead while you are turning, you will never make the turn – you’ll keep going where you’re focused.

To be successful when riding, you have to look through the turn. You stay focused on where you want to go rather than where you are. By starting a turn and looking way ahead at where you want to end up, you can successfully make a difficult maneuver.

Focus On Your Goals And See Yourself Achieving Them

This is so incredibly true in our financial lives. If we look straight ahead and do not clearly see the picture of where we want to end up, we can continually end up off track. If you look towards your end goal and stay focused on what you want to achieve, you can often avoid the majority of the obstacles.

You Are Not The Underdog – Identify With The Success Story

I encourage you to change your focus from an underdog mentality. Convince yourself that you are not destined to fail. Your success should not be viewed as an unexpected miracle. Give yourself the tools to be financially successful and believe in yourself. Make yourself the New England Patriots of your finances.

Make the best playbook to get out of debt and how to build wealth. Recruit the best people to cheer you on and focus on what’s working with your money rather than what’s not. Rather than beating yourself up about overspending in a certain area and focusing on what you screwed up, look at the areas you were successful in.

Focus on your successes and figure out what you can do to duplicate that success to the rest of your finances.

What Deacon Should Have Done

To tie this back into Deacon’s predicament, let’s focus on structure. We all know that life happens, and it happens when we least expect it. By setting up a personal finance structure in our life, we can actually be lazy with money because our choices are made up for us.

Deacon should have followed this personal finance structure to set his family up for success rather than failure:

Build a Budget

Save $1,500 – $2,000 For Emergencies

Attack His Debt

Have Cash Reserves For 6 Months Of Expenses

Invest 18% Of His Money For Retirement

Paid Off His Mortgage

Built Incredible Wealth

What Works For Me And How I Move Forward

I’ve built a system to set me up for financial success and I encourage you to do the same. If you have not yet created a budget for yourself, I have some great resources and tips including free budget printables to get you started.

Check out my related article: It’s Time To Budget Like A Boss! for a step by step process and your free resources.

It’s time to change your focus and your finances. You are no longer the underdog who is not expected to win. From this day forward, set your focus on what works for others and how you can emulate their success. Build a game plan that will work for your situation and equip yourself with the tools to ensure your success.

You do not need to live a life burdened by debt. It’s time you broke free from those chains and become the expected success story. I have complete faith in you that you can do this – I just need you to believe in yourself!

The post You Are Broke Because You Root For The Underdog (S.W.A.T review) appeared first on Debt Free Dr..

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[yoursblackbutterfly]

Last June 16th, I was able to attend the book tour of Better Than Jewels (Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio) and Found (Isa Garcia) on National Bookstore Glorietta 1. It was a wonderful event, meeting new Pinoy inspirational authors. I have been seeing their books around – social media and bookstores – lately and I’m quite intrigued of what treasures I may find between the pages.

I know Rica from her television days and now as blogger/writer, mentor, and mom. I actually have been on her blog for the past year reading some insights about her faith, singlehood, and dating. I have also checked out the blog of her husband, Joseph Bonifacio, so I had pretty much read their love story. Haha! Trivia: Rica is one of my inspirations why I came back to blogging. So when I came to the event and saw her, I had sort of little fangirl moment inside, slight kilig but mostly blessed by her life and story. Isa, on the other hand, is new to me. But thanks to the event, I came to know more about these wonderful authors.

Before introducing the authors, OMF Literature (publisher) has treated us with Words (book excerpt reading. I tell you, the chosen excerpts are so hugot!) and Music (acoustic performance of Planetshakers’ Nothing is Impossible and two originals). I wasn’t able to remember their names but below are the photos! (Sorry for the poor camera quality!)

Each book were given an excerpt reading but I was able to capture one only.

Acoustic performance

Rica and Isa had a “coffee conversations” where they asked questions to each other and answer. I have recorded and transcribed some of their Q&A below. (I have left out some comments and unnecessary words.)

Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio (left) and Isa Garcia (right).

Isa: Some of you might not know Rica, besides being an actress, singer, and a writer, is actually a blogger. Her blog is mrsbo.ph. So Rica, how is your blog instrumental in getting your message across?

Rica: Ah! Super instrumental because I’ll give you a trivia: my book was actually born out of me just wanting to – I have this desire to just make a series every month, devotional series ganyan on my blog. Sabi ko, alam mo I’ve been blogging since 2012 so I started thinking of this siguro mga 2015. I said why not – I’ve been blogging for the past how many years – maybe I can do something new. And then I realized that I like to make series or write devotionals anyway, why not put it on the blog? So some time I was able to do it and I completed one year’s worth of devotional series. So ang ginagawa ko noon nag-iisip ako ng parang magazine, nag-iisip ako ng editorial calendar – iniisip ko, ano bang issue nila pag January? Ah, gusto nila new year, everything new, okay so let’s find out what the Bible says about newness or goals or plans, so that’s how I would craft the months. And then second was February – ah, sigurado hugot ‘to. It’s all about love ganyan. Let’s see if the Bible has anything to say about love and it says a lot about it.

So that’s how it started then when I completed like one year’s worth of it, lumapit ako kay Steph. Sabi ko, Steph, I wanna make this into like a PDF form or ebook type ganyan, tapos sabi niya, o sige show me your material then when I passed it on to her, sabi ng OMF (publisher) na they wanna print it out as a book and I was thrilled! I didn’t really expect that you know, I would have a book so soon. I thought that if I’d write a book baka siguro mga 80 plus na ‘ko. Yung parang punong-puno ka na ng wisdom diba? Lahat na ng wisdom tooth mo nawala na, ganyan. So it was a surprise to me and I felt so honored because I really believed in OMF so much also, so that’s how instrumental the blog is.

I think a blog doesn’t only send your message out but also helps you to know a little bit more about yourself kasi magkakaroon ka ng feedback from your audience and you’ll also learn how to interact with the online community so it teaches me a lot – that’s how instrumental a blog is in my life.

R: If there is one thing from the book you would like your readers to always remember, what is it and why?

I: So the book is made up of letters – I think all of you have some point received a letter from someone whether it’s a love letter, birthday letter, whatever letter, and the beauty of a letter is it’s personal and I think that when I put the book together – it didn’t matter whether it became a best-seller or whether a million people read it – I just wanted that whoever read it felt like, they weren’t alone. That if you’re heartbroken, you felt like there was somebody journey with you, or if you’re sad, or if you have issues with your body, you felt and you realized that there was somebody else in the world that felt the same things like you did. So I guess the take away from my book if there’s anything – if you decide to read my book – I hope what you get out of it is that you are not alone. So ‘yun lang naman.

R: Very simple but very profound.

I: Thank you. So Rica my question for you is being a celebrity mom and a blogger, what is the one thing that you want your fans and your followers to learn from your life experiences?

R: That perfection is not the goal, but wholeness. Too often in life as a mom – kahit na anong label mo, kunwari as an employee, as a worker, as a writer, as a teacher – we always strive for a kind of excellence or even perfection to some degree na there’s a perfect ideal state and we try to reach for that. We may get it perfectly a day, two, but you can’t be even consistent about that, right? So if you strive for that consistent perfection, you’ll hit a point where you’ll say na, Oh my gosh, I can’t do it anymore. So there’s gonna be false pressure on you, whereas if you work to find that wholeness – that’s achievable. Because that means I’m secure, I’m whole, I’m alright even if all else around me is chaotic, is messy, not being the way that they supposed to be, kasi you can’t control a lot of things in life including yourself. I mean, you can control yourself but sometimes you get outside of that control also and you get disappointed with yourself. So if you can learn that at least from me, my life experiences, and as you’ve see it the way I mothered Philip, the way I’m being a wife to my husband, the way I do things in life – I’ll just say that I’m trying to do my best today but if it’s not perfect today, it’s okay. I can try again tomorrow. This is where I found telling myself telling a lot these days. It’s okay to make a mistake. What’s not okay is when you give up.

I: Very profound.

R: Pag nagka-anak ka, mapo-profound ka talaga. Yun na ang sequel ng book mo: Profound letters. (Rica jokes and crowd laughs, including me. :D) Okay! Your book is written for the younger readers. How do you think is Found helpful to empowering this generation of women? I wanna hear this answer.

I: When I wrote Found…some people often think that when you write a book, you write it in a timeframe that it was published. But our books were all written years before. Well mine was written years before it got published – Rica’s also, I think. It took a long while before we could put it together and publish it but when I wrote mine, I also had a blog, much like Rica and when I started writing in my blog I was 21. I’m currently 28, so it’s been a long time. So a lot of things you’ll read in Found were written by my younger self so now the readers who typically read my book are young 20-something women and so what I said earlier is one way it can empower these young women is to recognize that they aren’t alone and feeling what the feel – which I think is important because when you’re young, you have a tendency to think “I’m the only one who’s going through this.” And hopefully, what it point people, especially the young women, is that it is important to have community. It’s important to have people who believe in you. It’s important to get to know yourself. It’s important that you allow yourself the grace to make mistake like what you’re teaching to your son (refers to Rica). As a woman, there are all these standards that are placed upon us to look a certain way, be a certain way, and to follow a particular path but I did not do any of that and the book kind of captures that. For the women I think who have a voice that tells their story also, I think there’s empowerment in that, in coming together and hearing someone speak for you. So maybe that’s where we’re at for now.

R: I cannot overemphasize enough the importance of the community for younger women. I think in the age of social media, we have tendency to feel like communities are just, you know, doable online. But face to face meet ups are never replaceable by messaging each other on Instagram or Facebook.

I: That’s true. Okay, your turn. Which part of the book did you enjoy most writing and why?

R: If you have a copy of the book, the one that I enjoy writing the most was yung lent part. I think the title is “Jesus and..” And the reason why is there’s this quote from C.S Lewis sabi niya, “I don’t write to be understood, I write to understand.” And I find that in writing these devotional series the biggest winner of all is me because I’m the one who learns a lot from it as I write it. Because I’m forced to look for words, look for authenticating details. When I say this, when I claim this, when I claim that – why am I able to say that? And I have to search and search and search the Bible to find why, why am I saying this? And that particular lent series was focusing on the suffering of Jesus. But it’s not the suffering that what we see on the cross because the cross is like, it’s so visual. I mean, we’ve seen it a thousand times over how He is napako sa krus, nagdudugo, nilagyan ng crown of thorns, ganyan. That’s the usual suffering Jesus that we see but for the first time, I saw Him as a suffering friend because His friends left Him at the time He needed them the most. Diba I mean we’re all going through a hard time. So let’s say somebody accused you of something but you didn’t do that thing – that’s the time that you need your friends the most, right? And that’s what’s happening to Jesus. He was being accused of something and that was the time when all His closest friends just started flying off and Peter even denying Him three times. So it’s the first time for me to see that wow, that must have hurt more than the lashes. I mean, you giving me a lash and I’m like, okay, of course you’re mad at me. You’re a Roman soldier. But you’re a friend and you’re lashing my heart – that’s even deeper. So when I saw that, I had to really stop from writing and just really thank Jesus all over again for what He did and to me that’s why that’s my it’s my most favorite part in Better than Jewels at least as far as the writing is concerned.

Which entry in the book is your favorite and why?

I: So we answered these questions last time we had our book tour but I feel that every time it might be different. If any of you creates, if you’re an artist or a writer, you have different attachments to the things you create and sometimes it’s hard to pick what’s your favorite. So sometimes it’s what’s your favorite depending on what you’re going through in this moment. So if I had to pick a favorite, my favorite from my book would be…okay there’s this one entry, I don’t know what it’s called. The original title was “The 13th Floor of Everything Left Unsaid” and it’s about how it’s so important for us to say the things that we want to say but we have the tendency to repress, to shelf our emotions but sometimes you know, for us to have authentic relationships with each other, we have to be willing to be vulnerable and we have to be willing to be honest. So, I don’t know. I was thinking about that. I really enjoyed writing it so when I think about it, Hmm baka yun yung favorite ko. My answer last time was different.

*I have not included their entire Q&A. But I will be featuring one question each (that is not found here) when I post my review of their books. So stay tuned for that. 🙂

***

During their “coffee conversations” I have seen the funny and witty side of Rica, and I learned that Isa is an English, literature, and creative writing teacher but is not good at writing fiction. She’s committed to mentorship and women empowerment, one is through a mentoring program for women she co-founded, The Better Story Project, and the latest was probably her book. Before the program started I scanned both of their books and Found is what I would say something I would write. It’s like I found something that describes me,  that someone somehow got my inner diary again and wrote it in a book. I am sure that when I have the time to finally read it, I will devour each letter. Just holding the book excites me!

Came from the office. I look tired or sleepy or whatever. But deep inside I’m flailing! 😀

After their conversation, it’s time to meet and greet. My books are also signed!

from Rica

from Isa

It’s fun and amazing to meet these wonderful people and hear them talk about their passions. It inspires me even more to keep on what I have started or trying to start. I was just busy reading other books and doing other things but I am extremely excited to finally read their books. (I’m already reading Better Than Jewels but it’s not the kind of book you have to read in a flash. I’m reading each entry at a time and absorb and wanted to keep the pace that way. Rica says so in the book!) And of course, I’m gonna share my thoughts about them soon here on the blog.

And lastly, allow me to just give an appreciation portion to OMF Literature for inviting us bloggers in this event and for the sweetest treats! Thank you so much!!! Much love.

I couldn’t believe when Ida handed me a paper bag full of these lovelies! I somehow expected to have BTJ and Found but not the others. I love them! (Better Than Jewels, Found, Starbucks GCs, Ikaw na ang Maganda book 2, a key chain or a pouch handle (I really don’t know what it’s called), 4-color pen (not on the photo), and journal notebook (which I loved! I know where to buy my notebook next :D).

  How about you – what are your new reads or when and where was your latest bookish event? Have you seen and/or read Better Than Jewels and Found? Tell me what you think about them! 🙂

  Yours,

Black Butterfly

Better Than Jewels and Found Book Tour Last June 16th, I was able to attend the book tour of Better Than Jewels (Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio) and…

[yoursblackbutterfly]

Last June 16th, I was able to attend the book tour of Better Than Jewels (Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio) and Found (Isa Garcia) on National Bookstore Glorietta 1. It was a wonderful event, meeting new Pinoy inspirational authors. I have been seeing their books around – social media and bookstores – lately and I’m quite intrigued of what treasures I may find between the pages.

I know Rica from her television days and now as blogger/writer, mentor, and mom. I actually have been on her blog for the past year reading some insights about her faith, singlehood, and dating. I have also checked out the blog of her husband, Joseph Bonifacio, so I had pretty much read their love story. Haha! Trivia: Rica is one of my inspirations why I came back to blogging. So when I came to the event and saw her, I had sort of little fangirl moment inside, slight kilig but mostly blessed by her life and story. Isa, on the other hand, is new to me. But thanks to the event, I came to know more about these wonderful authors.

Before introducing the authors, OMF Literature (publisher) has treated us with Words (book excerpt reading. I tell you, the chosen excerpts are so hugot!) and Music (acoustic performance of Planetshakers’ Nothing is Impossible and two originals). I wasn’t able to remember their names but below are the photos! (Sorry for the poor camera quality!)

Each book were given an excerpt reading but I was able to capture one only.

Acoustic performance

Rica and Isa had a “coffee conversations” where they asked questions to each other and answer. I have recorded and transcribed some of their Q&A below. (I have left out some comments and unnecessary words.)

Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio (left) and Isa Garcia (right).

Isa: Some of you might not know Rica, besides being an actress, singer, and a writer, is actually a blogger. Her blog is mrsbo.ph. So Rica, how is your blog instrumental in getting your message across?

Rica: Ah! Super instrumental because I’ll give you a trivia: my book was actually born out of me just wanting to – I have this desire to just make a series every month, devotional series ganyan on my blog. Sabi ko, alam mo I’ve been blogging since 2012 so I started thinking of this siguro mga 2015. I said why not – I’ve been blogging for the past how many years – maybe I can do something new. And then I realized that I like to make series or write devotionals anyway, why not put it on the blog? So some time I was able to do it and I completed one year’s worth of devotional series. So ang ginagawa ko noon nag-iisip ako ng parang magazine, nag-iisip ako ng editorial calendar – iniisip ko, ano bang issue nila pag January? Ah, gusto nila new year, everything new, okay so let’s find out what the Bible says about newness or goals or plans, so that’s how I would craft the months. And then second was February – ah, sigurado hugot ‘to. It’s all about love ganyan. Let’s see if the Bible has anything to say about love and it says a lot about it.

So that’s how it started then when I completed like one year’s worth of it, lumapit ako kay Steph. Sabi ko, Steph, I wanna make this into like a PDF form or ebook type ganyan, tapos sabi niya, o sige show me your material then when I passed it on to her, sabi ng OMF (publisher) na they wanna print it out as a book and I was thrilled! I didn’t really expect that you know, I would have a book so soon. I thought that if I’d write a book baka siguro mga 80 plus na ‘ko. Yung parang punong-puno ka na ng wisdom diba? Lahat na ng wisdom tooth mo nawala na, ganyan. So it was a surprise to me and I felt so honored because I really believed in OMF so much also, so that’s how instrumental the blog is.

I think a blog doesn’t only send your message out but also helps you to know a little bit more about yourself kasi magkakaroon ka ng feedback from your audience and you’ll also learn how to interact with the online community so it teaches me a lot – that’s how instrumental a blog is in my life.

R: If there is one thing from the book you would like your readers to always remember, what is it and why?

I: So the book is made up of letters – I think all of you have some point received a letter from someone whether it’s a love letter, birthday letter, whatever letter, and the beauty of a letter is it’s personal and I think that when I put the book together – it didn’t matter whether it became a best-seller or whether a million people read it – I just wanted that whoever read it felt like, they weren’t alone. That if you’re heartbroken, you felt like there was somebody journey with you, or if you’re sad, or if you have issues with your body, you felt and you realized that there was somebody else in the world that felt the same things like you did. So I guess the take away from my book if there’s anything – if you decide to read my book – I hope what you get out of it is that you are not alone. So ‘yun lang naman.

R: Very simple but very profound.

I: Thank you. So Rica my question for you is being a celebrity mom and a blogger, what is the one thing that you want your fans and your followers to learn from your life experiences?

R: That perfection is not the goal, but wholeness. Too often in life as a mom – kahit na anong label mo, kunwari as an employee, as a worker, as a writer, as a teacher – we always strive for a kind of excellence or even perfection to some degree na there’s a perfect ideal state and we try to reach for that. We may get it perfectly a day, two, but you can’t be even consistent about that, right? So if you strive for that consistent perfection, you’ll hit a point where you’ll say na, Oh my gosh, I can’t do it anymore. So there’s gonna be false pressure on you, whereas if you work to find that wholeness – that’s achievable. Because that means I’m secure, I’m whole, I’m alright even if all else around me is chaotic, is messy, not being the way that they supposed to be, kasi you can’t control a lot of things in life including yourself. I mean, you can control yourself but sometimes you get outside of that control also and you get disappointed with yourself. So if you can learn that at least from me, my life experiences, and as you’ve see it the way I mothered Philip, the way I’m being a wife to my husband, the way I do things in life – I’ll just say that I’m trying to do my best today but if it’s not perfect today, it’s okay. I can try again tomorrow. This is where I found telling myself telling a lot these days. It’s okay to make a mistake. What’s not okay is when you give up.

I: Very profound.

R: Pag nagka-anak ka, mapo-profound ka talaga. Yun na ang sequel ng book mo: Profound letters. (Rica jokes and crowd laughs, including me. :D) Okay! Your book is written for the younger readers. How do you think is Found helpful to empowering this generation of women? I wanna hear this answer.

I: When I wrote Found…some people often think that when you write a book, you write it in a timeframe that it was published. But our books were all written years before. Well mine was written years before it got published – Rica’s also, I think. It took a long while before we could put it together and publish it but when I wrote mine, I also had a blog, much like Rica and when I started writing in my blog I was 21. I’m currently 28, so it’s been a long time. So a lot of things you’ll read in Found were written by my younger self so now the readers who typically read my book are young 20-something women and so what I said earlier is one way it can empower these young women is to recognize that they aren’t alone and feeling what the feel – which I think is important because when you’re young, you have a tendency to think “I’m the only one who’s going through this.” And hopefully, what it point people, especially the young women, is that it is important to have community. It’s important to have people who believe in you. It’s important to get to know yourself. It’s important that you allow yourself the grace to make mistake like what you’re teaching to your son (refers to Rica). As a woman, there are all these standards that are placed upon us to look a certain way, be a certain way, and to follow a particular path but I did not do any of that and the book kind of captures that. For the women I think who have a voice that tells their story also, I think there’s empowerment in that, in coming together and hearing someone speak for you. So maybe that’s where we’re at for now.

R: I cannot overemphasize enough the importance of the community for younger women. I think in the age of social media, we have tendency to feel like communities are just, you know, doable online. But face to face meet ups are never replaceable by messaging each other on Instagram or Facebook.

I: That’s true. Okay, your turn. Which part of the book did you enjoy most writing and why?

R: If you have a copy of the book, the one that I enjoy writing the most was yung lent part. I think the title is “Jesus and..” And the reason why is there’s this quote from C.S Lewis sabi niya, “I don’t write to be understood, I write to understand.” And I find that in writing these devotional series the biggest winner of all is me because I’m the one who learns a lot from it as I write it. Because I’m forced to look for words, look for authenticating details. When I say this, when I claim this, when I claim that – why am I able to say that? And I have to search and search and search the Bible to find why, why am I saying this? And that particular lent series was focusing on the suffering of Jesus. But it’s not the suffering that what we see on the cross because the cross is like, it’s so visual. I mean, we’ve seen it a thousand times over how He is napako sa krus, nagdudugo, nilagyan ng crown of thorns, ganyan. That’s the usual suffering Jesus that we see but for the first time, I saw Him as a suffering friend because His friends left Him at the time He needed them the most. Diba I mean we’re all going through a hard time. So let’s say somebody accused you of something but you didn’t do that thing – that’s the time that you need your friends the most, right? And that’s what’s happening to Jesus. He was being accused of something and that was the time when all His closest friends just started flying off and Peter even denying Him three times. So it’s the first time for me to see that wow, that must have hurt more than the lashes. I mean, you giving me a lash and I’m like, okay, of course you’re mad at me. You’re a Roman soldier. But you’re a friend and you’re lashing my heart – that’s even deeper. So when I saw that, I had to really stop from writing and just really thank Jesus all over again for what He did and to me that’s why that’s my it’s my most favorite part in Better than Jewels at least as far as the writing is concerned.

Which entry in the book is your favorite and why?

I: So we answered these questions last time we had our book tour but I feel that every time it might be different. If any of you creates, if you’re an artist or a writer, you have different attachments to the things you create and sometimes it’s hard to pick what’s your favorite. So sometimes it’s what’s your favorite depending on what you’re going through in this moment. So if I had to pick a favorite, my favorite from my book would be…okay there’s this one entry, I don’t know what it’s called. The original title was “The 13th Floor of Everything Left Unsaid” and it’s about how it’s so important for us to say the things that we want to say but we have the tendency to repress, to shelf our emotions but sometimes you know, for us to have authentic relationships with each other, we have to be willing to be vulnerable and we have to be willing to be honest. So, I don’t know. I was thinking about that. I really enjoyed writing it so when I think about it, Hmm baka yun yung favorite ko. My answer last time was different.

*I have not included their entire Q&A. But I will be featuring one question each (that is not found here) when I post my review of their books. So stay tuned for that. 🙂

***

During their “coffee conversations” I have seen the funny and witty side of Rica, and I learned that Isa is an English, literature, and creative writing teacher but is not good at writing fiction. She’s committed to mentorship and women empowerment, one is through a mentoring program for women she co-founded, The Better Story Project, and the latest was probably her book. Before the program started I scanned both of their books and Found is what I would say something I would write. It’s like I found something that describes me,  that someone somehow got my inner diary again and wrote it in a book. I am sure that when I have the time to finally read it, I will devour each letter. Just holding the book excites me!

Came from the office. I look tired or sleepy or whatever. But deep inside I’m flailing! 😀

After their conversation, it’s time to meet and greet. My books are also signed!

from Rica

from Isa

It’s fun and amazing to meet these wonderful people and hear them talk about their passions. It inspires me even more to keep on what I have started or trying to start. I was just busy reading other books and doing other things but I am extremely excited to finally read their books. (I’m already reading Better Than Jewels but it’s not the kind of book you have to read in a flash. I’m reading each entry at a time and absorb and wanted to keep the pace that way. Rica says so in the book!) And of course, I’m gonna share my thoughts about them soon here on the blog.

And lastly, allow me to just give an appreciation portion to OMF Literature for inviting us bloggers in this event and for the sweetest treats! Thank you so much!!! Much love.

I couldn’t believe when Ida handed me a paper bag full of these lovelies! I somehow expected to have BTJ and Found but not the others. I love them! (Better Than Jewels, Found, Starbucks GCs, Ikaw na ang Maganda book 2, a key chain or a pouch handle (I really don’t know what it’s called), 4-color pen (not on the photo), and journal notebook (which I loved! I know where to buy my notebook next :D).

  How about you – what are your new reads or when and where was your latest bookish event? Have you seen and/or read Better Than Jewels and Found? Tell me what you think about them! 🙂

  Yours,

Black Butterfly

Better Than Jewels and Found Book Tour Last June 16th, I was able to attend the book tour of Better Than Jewels (Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio) and…