#sorry for not answering this for like. half a year
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Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 8 (part two)
(Rafe Cameron x Reader series, 6.2k words)
series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
series content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
⢠series masterlist
A blood curdling shriek rang through the house, jolting Carter from her restless dreams.
She sat straight up in bed, heart racing as she looked around the dark room, head so heavy she could barely remember where she was or how she got there.
In her hungover mental fog, she pieced it together slowly. She was at the beach house, in her room, it was early, she drank so much last night and Topper said -
âOH MY GOD!âÂ
Another sharp scream came from downstairs, and her heart rate spiked all over again. She pulled the fluffy comforter around her shoulders and hurried out of the room, quiet on the stairs as she nervously approached the source of all the commotion.
When she saw what was inducing Sabrinaâs shock, she doubled back, hiding around the corner so they couldnât see her. Her stomach churned with bitter loathing, and something else even more nauseatingâŚ
She dropped the blanket and rushed to the half-bath off the houseâs entryway, doubled over the toilet bowl as last nightâs poor choices continued to haunt her.
â ���â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â
Rafe drove faster than he had before your interrupted rendezvous, seeming not to want to drag this adventure out anymore. You eyed him nervously from the passenger seat, searching for words that werenât coming to you.Â
Tongue tied and exhausted was not how you wanted to begin thisâŚwhatever this was between you. Rafe had given you words, so many of them, back on the beach and all he asked in return was a simple yes or no.
Are you my girl?
No four words had ever felt so heavy. The shitty part was, you wanted to say yes. At the sound of his breathless question every cell in your body was screaming yes! Iâm your girl! Iâve always been your girl!Â
But then there was that pesky piece of self preservation that cemented itself in your heart all those years ago and didnât plan to give up any time soon.Â
He looked so disappointed when you couldnât give him a quick and easy answer, his chest now deflated and shoulders sunken as he drove the rest of the route home. Despite your lingering hesitation, you felt like you needed to give him something, needed to lift the frown that was settled on the lips you had tasted so many times this morning.
âIâm sorry,â you mumbled.
âFor what?â He asked.
âIâmâŚslow,â you began, âit takes me a while, yâknow? To find the words. Iâm not like you, I donât know how you came up with that speech in less than a minute.â
Rafe laughed, confusing you.
âWhat?â
âYou think I came up with that speech in a minute?â He chuckled, âIâve been practicing it every day since senior year of high school.â
Your heart clenched at the endearing thought of him in front of the mirror, driving to class, taking a shower all while rehearsing what heâd say if you ever gave him the chance.
âOh,â you tucked your hair behind your ear.
It was infuriating, your complete inability to get a grip on your own thoughts and feelings around him. It had always been this way. You were well-spoken and sound-minded, until this one person was in your atmosphere, his presence your own personal kryptonite.
To be fair to yourself, it wasnât just your own weakness for him that had caused you to build such high walls. When you were kids, he sometimes made you feel this way on purpose. He used to have fun watching you get flustered, just the right amount of flirting to send you into a tizzy, only to leave you spinning like a top with no one to stop you.
You truly tried to leave the past behind, burying it somewhere back in the sand on the beach. You reminded yourself that the Rafe of your memories was not the one sitting next to you right now. But that might just be the problem, because at least you knew that Rafe, you knew exactly what he would do next.
If he grabbed your hand, you knew he was about to drop it. If he said something sweet, you knew he was about to say something passive aggressive. If he acted like he loved you, you knew he was about to act like heâd never met you a day in his life.
But this Rafe, this new one, was completely unpredictable. Wild and dangerous in his apparent affection for you. How were you supposed to know what he did next wasnât going to hurt? He was right about what he said on the jet ski - you wonât know until you give him the chance. Easier said than done.
âYou donât have to say anything right now,â he offered after youâd been quiet for a long time.
âThis week has just beenâŚâ trying to come up with one word to describe it felt like a futile task.
âOverwhelming?â Rafe tried to help.
âSurprising,â you countered. âIâve never been good with surprises.â
âYou like to know whatâs coming next,â he nodded, once again displaying a deep knowledge of you that you never knew he possessed.
Like he could read your mind, his arm stretched across the small divide and his palm, warm and soft, settled on your thigh, a single soothing stroke to let you know heâs still here, heâs still yours. The feeling of his skin touching yours was like aloe vera directly on the burn.
With a grateful smile, you leaned back in the seat and took a deep breath as he steered you home.
â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â
Carter padded down the hall, stopping three separate times, trying to decide if she should just go back to her own room. But the sight of her frantic texts to you still saying âdeliveredâ and not âreadâ was too concerning to ignore.
She opened Topperâs door without knocking.
He was sitting up against his headboard, typing feverishly on his phone. At the sight of her, he clutched his duvet cover, pulling it up higher over his nearly naked body.
âHave you ever heard of knocking?âÂ
âPlease, like I havenât seen it all before. Like I didnât see it yesterday,â she rolled her eyes.
âOh okay, so you do remember. Based on the way you were acting last night I thought maybe youâd forgotten weâd ever been together,â he snipped at her.
âI donât want to talk about last night,â she waved him off, dismissing his complaints flippantly, âare you aware of whatâs happening downstairs right now? Of who is happening downstairs right now?â
âYes, I saw her pull up,â he returned his attention to his phone and his frenzied typing.
Outside his cracked open door, Carter heard Kelce, Tom, and a few others come barreling up the stairs, chatting about the recent arrival.
âBe so fucking for real, did you invite her?â Carter said, attempting to lower her voice.
âI donât know if anyoneâs ever told you this but you do this thing where you think youâre whispering and youâre actually not,â Topper informed her.
âTopperâŚâ
âNo, I didnât invite her.,â he answered. âActually I was about to ask if you did.â
âWhy the fuck would I do that? I hate her.â
âWow alright, hate's a strong word, Carter, maybe calm down a little.â
Ever since their knock-down-drag-out at the club last night, the arguing that was usually playful and lighthearted had an edge of actual bitterness to it.
âFirst of all, if you ever tell me to âcalm downâ again, Iâm going full Lorena Bobbitt on your ass. Second of all, you need to go down there and tell her to leave,â she flicked her hair behind her shoulder and held her chin up as she bossed him around. He hated that despite how mad at her he was, he fucking loved it.
âHow does that job possibly fall on me?â He scoffed.
âArenât you Mr. Team Rafe-and-my-sister? Donât you want to get rid of the reason they stopped talking in the first place?â She reasoned.
âIâm not gonna tell her she canât be here,â he shut her down. âItâs not my house, and itâs really none of my business. Or yours.â
Her eyes narrowed at him, âoh yeah? Then who are you texting so much over there?â
âIâm just giving him a headâs up,â he shrugged. âShe should probably know too.â
âAnd youâre just assuming theyâre together?â She snarled.
âPuh-lease,â he rolled his eyes, âdid you see them at the club last night? Thereâs no way they didnât hook up.â
She wouldnât accept it, couldnât, even though she knew somewhere deep in her gut that he was probably right.Â
When Rafe still didnât answer any of his texts, Topper sighed heavily, âfuck it, I donât care if Iâm cockblocking, Iâm calling him.â
Before he could dial, the house shook with the slam of the front door. Carter and Topper hurried out to the hall and hesitated at the top of the steps. Your lone voice carried up to them, talking to no one in particular as you muttered, âun-fucking-belivable.â
Carter actually did whisper this time, âI think it might be too late for thatâŚâ
â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â Â
The feeling of Rafeâs hand, warm and steady on your thigh, as he drove the rest of the route home was so nice and comforting, you let yourself slip into the possibility that this could actually be it. Maybe you really could just leave the past behind you, maybe you really had finally found each other and it could just be simple like this.
But your fantasy didnât last long.
Rafe parked in the spot across the street that you had taken Carterâs car from a few hours ago. Even when he turned the key and cut the engine, he didnât remove his hand from your leg.Â
âYou ready?â He sighed.
âFor what?â You questioned, eyeing him curiously, his face serious as he looked down at the site of his hand on your skin.
He shook his head like he didnât know the answer himself, âreality, I guess.â
You placed your hand over his, smirking at the sight of your fingers encompassing each otherâs, wanting so much more from these hands and truly believing youâd have all the time in the world to enjoy them.Â
âBring it on,â you gave him a small smile.
âHe leaned across the center console and dropped a deep kiss to your lips, causing you to sigh into his mouth. All the times you imagined kissing him, you never thought such a rough-around-the-edges guy would have such soft lips. You felt like you might be able to spend forever with them on your skin.
When he finally pulled away, you reached for the handle of your door, beginning to open it, but Rafe reached across your body and pulled it shut again.
âWhat are you doing?â You asked in surprise.
He smiled that perfect, dimpled grin of his, âextra credit.â
You giggled as he hurried to climb out of the driverâs side, hurrying around to your door and opening it with a chivalrous flair.
âWow,â you beamed, accepting his hand as he helped you down from the tall vehicle. âYou werenât kidding about trying to be a gentleman.â
âFor you, Iâll be anything,â he flirted.
Despite your best efforts not to, you blushed, the red hue on your cheeks deepening when Rafe kept your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours as you walked back to the house. It was the first time heâd held your hand out in the open like this, where anyone could look out from the windows of the beach house and see the two of you together. It was foreign to you, his public display of affection, and yet it felt so right. You couldnât help but wish it hadnât taken this long.
âCan I ask you something?â You said quietly.
âAnything,â he squeezed your hand assuringly.Â
âWhy didnât we do this a long time ago?âÂ
Rafeâs face fell slightly, watching his feet as they made less and less forward progress on the sidewalk, until he came to a full stop. The question was mostly meant to be lighthearted, a tease really, but his solemn reaction made your stomach twist with concern.
âIâŚâ he started, voice unsteady, not meeting your eyeline, âI donât know if I should tell you this but -â
You never knew what he wasnât supposed to tell you, because before he could, a sickeningly familiar voice called out from the front porch.
âHey guys!â
Head snapping toward the sound, you looked up, and there she was, as stunning as ever in that same signature everything-youâre-not-ness.Â
Cassie Bryant.
Her face was adorned with a glistening smile, yours was noticeably not. Everything in you sunk, including the corners of your lips, completely unable to hide the way your heart dropped six feet under the ground at the sight of her.
She was somehow even more golden and glowing now than she was back then. Glossy blonde hair flowing down her back like a waterfall of silk. Her perfect, blemish free skin glowed in the early morning light. Her big, round Disney Princess eyes quickly found Rafe and flicked over your joined hands, clocking the way they were folded together in unmistakable intimacy.
It happened so quickly, and yet it felt like years worth of hurt and heartache compacted into one small moment.Â
At the sight of Cassie on the porch, Rafe dropped your hand.
â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â
Surely, any minute now, a camera crew would pop out from the bushes and announce that you were being Punkâd.
Or maybe itâd be the Mythbusters:
The myth? That you can actually heal from your childhood trauma with just four years of painstaking hard work. Well, weâre about to prove that all of that can be unraveled in the span of 72 hours! Also, we will be using your heart as our crash test dummy. Myth busted!
You didnât look over at Rafe, couldnât bear to watch the way he pulled his body away from yours, ever-so-slightly, almost imperceptibly. But you could feel it all the same, and you were sure she could too.Â
Before Cassie could say anything else, the front door opened behind her, Sabrina stepping out of the house and taking in the unfolding scene on the lawn.
âOh shit,â she laughed, âthis is awkward!â
Itâs like her main goal in life was to find new and creative ways to make your bad moments worse.
âIs it?â Cassie asked, seemingly unaware of the cause of Sabrinaâs laughter. âWe were just saying hi.â
She caught your eye as she said it, a polite but knowing smile on her lips. You realized with shock that she absolutely knew what was happening and was trying to make you feel better about it. You should just be grateful for the unexpected kindness, but something in you was suspicious. The Cassie you knew wouldâve jumped at the chance to embarrass you, and she wouldâve loved the way Rafe was treating you like you had the plague.
Plus, her taking pity on you, acknowledging the way Rafe had just hurt you, was somehow worse than her just being mean to you. Youâd rather she go back to that.
âYâall having a good trip?â She asked you and Rafe when the silence had lasted just a little too long.
You looked to Rafe, waiting for him to answer, begging him silently to say something that indicated that you were in fact having a good tripâŚtogether.
But he just said, âitâs been cool. Weatherâs shit, though.â
âYeah thatâs what Sab told me, but I got a few days off my internship so I thought Iâd come hang with yâall,â she said, eyes on you as she spoke, like she owed you an explanation.
âWell, welcome, then,â you smiled a polite smile that didnât meet your eyes.
âYou ready?â Sabrina asked, linking arms with Cassie, thick as thieves.Â
âWeâre going into town for some brunch if you guys want to join,â Cassie offered.
âThatâs okay, I need to check on Carter,â you declined, all eyes turning to Rafe for his response.
âUh yeah, Iâm good here, th-thanks,â he stuttered, so awkward and shaky, a completely different person from the guy who was delivering monologues and sweeping you off your feet just a few hours ago.
Cassie just smiled politely once more as Sabrina pulled her into the car. As they drove off, you stood wordlessly with Rafe on the front walk, your chest completely hollow. You mustered some nerve and finally looked at him, head tilted, a completely unamused smile tugging your lips.
âWeatherâs shit?â You repeated his words back to him.
âLookâŚâ he began but didnât finish the thought.
You just laughed humorlessly, shaking your head at him as you stormed off toward the house. Rafe stood frozen for a moment, kicking himself mentally and begging his brain to catch up with the moment, finally rushing off after you, but not able to before you slammed the door in his face.
â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â
Carter and Topper exchanged nervous glances at the sound of you stomping into the house.Â
They slowly and quietly settled on the top step, sitting forward to listen in as the front door opened and closed again, Rafeâs voice echoing through the house.
âWaitâŚâ he said, following after you as you marched further into the house toward the kitchen.
You didnât stop, âNo, go ahead, you should go to brunch with her. Donât let me keep you from a good time.â
âWait, letâs just talk,â he pleaded.
âIâm too tired, Rafe,â you rejected him. âI canât do this right now.â
âSo youâre not even gonna let me explain?â
At the top of the steps, Carter and Topper simultaneously held their breath as they listened, both jumping as Kelceâs voice startled them, âwhat are we listening to?â
âShhh,â Carter waved her hand at him, motioning for him to shut up.
Kelce plopped himself between them on the top step, shuffling a bit so theyâd make room for him. He listened in, picking up your and Rafeâs raised voices quickly.
âOh shit,â he barely whispered, âtrouble in paradise already?â
âDude shut up,â Topper cut him off.
Soon, Maddie, Tom and Jack joined the little huddle on the top step, each cluing in on the source of the entertainment in their own disruptive way before being shushed by the group and eventually sitting. You continued your argument with Rafe, completely unaware you were performing in front of a live studio audience.
âYou donât need to explain,â you told him, trudging down the front hall toward the kitchen. âI know exactly what just happened because itâs happened a thousand times before. What I donât know is why Iâm even surprised.â
âCome on,â he caught up to you, stopping you in your tracks as his large frame rounded you. âIt is not the same as it used to be.â
âItâs exactly the same,â you side-stepped him, walking into the kitchen and dropping Carterâs keys on the counter. âI mean jesus Rafe, itâs the same fucking person! I canât believe Iâm here again, itâs like Iâm having a nightmare where Iâm back in high school. Next thing you know Iâm gonna walk into homeroom and I realize Iâm completely naked.â
âSounds more like a dream to me,â he smirked, trying to flirt.
You just blinked back at him, your sharp eyes cutting straight through his head.
âDo you think this is funny?â
His smirk dropped, snatched right off his lips by your ice cold tone. Good. Youâd been waiting years to wipe that shit eating grin off his face.Â
Something new was rising in your chest, knocking out the embarrassment and sadness with a closed fist, a fury long buried coming back with a vengeance.
âI thought all that shit was behind us, over and done.â Rafe reached out towards you but you stopped him with your own rough grip, lowering his hand away from you and dropping it like heâd dropped yours.
âOh, itâs fucking done alright, so fucking done,â you spat.
 âYouâre really gonna let ten stupid seconds ruin everything thatâs happened between us? Youâre not even gonna give me the benefit of the doubt. You really think that little of me?â
âItâs literally only been two hours, and youâve already lied to me once and pushed me away the second someone saw us. And you wonder why I'm having a hard time saying yes to being with you? Itâs because I fucking canât trust you, Rafe!â
âI donât know what else I can do to show you Iâm different,â he threw his hands up in exasperation. âThis is so fucking unfair.â
âAre you being fucking serious right now?â You stepped towards him as you snapped at him. âYouâre actually pissed at me?â
âYeah, I am!âÂ
âWhy?â
âBecause I lost my best friend!â
Everyone on the top of the stairs winced, air sucked from the room when Rafe raised his voice at you. For all his flaws and mistreatment, he had never raised his voice at you before.
âOh shit,â Kelce whispered.
âShhh!â Carter and Maddie hushed him in unison, everyone leaning in a little closer to hear how youâd react. But you said nothing. They couldnât see the widening of your eyes, jaw locked tight as you gave him space to follow up on his outburst.
âDo you really think it didnât hurt me when you just up and stopped talking to me back then?â He took the space you gave him and slowly unpacked the hurt feelings heâd buried for years. âI know I was a dick, I shouldnât have taken advantage of how you felt about me, I shouldnât have strung you along. But when that shit went down senior year and you just ghosted me, I wanted to talk to you and make it right. I tried, but you blocked me out, you went from talking to me every day to radio silence without giving me a single explanation. That fucking hurt. And youâre doing the exact same thing now, not even giving me a chance to explain things. So yeah, I am a little pissed. Iâm pissed that youâre just gonna throw it all away again over nothing.â
He waited for your response with baited breath, prepared for you to yell, or cry, or do something. But you gave him nothing, mouth closed in a tight line as you turned on your heel and walked further into the kitchen, lifting the coffee pot from its home and filling it in the sink.
He watched your back as you scooped the grounds into the filter and turned on the machine. Minutes passed and you remained silent, hands on the counter, looking out the big window towards the ocean while the coffee brewed one drop at a time.
Finally, after eight cups had dripped into the pot, you spoke.
âHow was prom, by the way?â You turned to face him, the edge of the marble countertop digging into your waist as you leaned back against it, hands crossed in hostility over your chest. âI never asked.â
Rafeâs gaze fell from you almost instantly. He didnât have to ask why you were bringing this up, the âhell hath no furyâ look on your face dragging the memory forth from its carefully hidden spot in the back of his brain. Nothing made him feel like a jackass quite like that memory, and based on the mocking curve at the corner of your lips, you knew it.
The memory used to keep you up at night.Â
For a full year after it happened, it was like a fire poker bent into the shape of regret and shame was branding your heart over and over.Â
Now, the burn was healed over, still calloused and red at the edges, but youâd done your best to cover the scar tissue in the healing balms of self-love and lots and lots of therapy. Still, it was the moment in your life you were the least proud of.
Youâd thought it was gonna be you. Really, earnestly, completely delusionally, you believed when he asked for your help with his grand prom-posal that it was all a playful ruse to ask you to be his date. You stayed up all night, decorating three different poster boards with glitter glue so he could pick the one he liked best. You bought out all the battery-powered candles at Michaelâs - he said heâd pay you back, he never did. You waited with him in the park until the sun set, giddy with the hope that heâd drop the ruse and pop the question any minute.
âWhat will you do if âsheâ says no?â You attempted to flirt.
âI guess Iâd just have to take you.â
Every muscle in his body flinched at the memory and the white hot regret he felt every time it replayed in his head.
The kid who said those words was such an asshole. Standing here in the kitchen, looking down at you, the love of his goddamn life, and facing the possibility that he might lose you for good, he wanted to ring the idiotâs neck.
Because he hadnât asked you. He made you watch while he asked her. And he didnât even give you a ride home from the park.
Fuck, he wouldnât forgive himself if he was you, either.
Rafe felt about two feet tall, looking back at you with absolutely nothing to say. He was relieved for a second when you opened your mouth to speak first, until he heard the words.
âYou donât understand. The voice in the back of my head, the one Iâve spent years trying to silence, the one that tells me Iâm not enough, that Iâll never be enoughâŚitâs your voice, Rafe.â
He grasped desperately for a reply, but there were no words in the English language that made that statement any less devastating.
âMaybe thatâs not fair,â you continued before he could come up with anything, âbut I donât think I have control over that. I donât know how to undo it, if it can be undone. So those ten seconds that just happened out there? Theyâre not nothing to me. When you dropped my hand at the sight of her, I felt like I was that stupid teenage girl again, giving my whole heart to the one person who knows how to break it. Blind and foolish and desperate for you to notice her. I donât like that girl.â
You made it through the whole speech with a steady voice, up until the last sentence. Your voice cracked on those words, your heart doing the same as you pictured your younger self. The one who would sit on her bed for hours, rereading the texts she sent him and praying heâd reply.
Thinking about that version of yourself, you werenât sure if you wanted to hug her or slap her. Surely, sheâd hit you right back if she saw what you were doing now, potentially pushing away the boy she loved more than anything, finally having him within your grasp and letting him slip right through.
At the top of the stairs, unbeknownst to you, Carter was picturing that girl, too. She would roll her eyes at you back then, using sarcastic comments like âare you sure Rafe even knows how to read?â to mask her truer concern; that he could but he wouldnât, and the heart you wore on your sleeve would end up crushed again. Even now, she couldnât protect it, couldnât save it from reaching out to this boy who did nothing but break it.
Frustration welled inside her, the absolute powerlessness to put an end to this cycle that hurts you feeling like a dark cloud over her head. The anger manifested into hot, watery tears gathering on her lash line. Without permission, one slipped through, rolling down her cheek slowly.
Topper caught the whole thing, and despite their fight and his resolve to freeze her out until she apologized, he couldnât stop his hand from reaching out and stroking her cheek softly, wiping the tear away with a gentle swipe of his thumb.
They shared a look so full of unspoken words and tender emotions that they almost forgot about the conversation in the kitchen, until Rafeâs voice cut through the moment and pulled them from their silent reconciliation.
âAre you okay?â He asked you after youâd been silent for nearly a minute, trying desperately to compose yourself.
âYes, that's all just a lot. Iâm processing,â you sniffled.
âTake your time,â he said, pulling out one of the high back stools from the counter and motioning for you to sit in it.
Your body was so exhausted, even your stubborn anger at him couldnât stop you from accepting the offer. You slumped on the plush stool, folding your arms on the counter and resting your chin on them.
âHow do you like your eggs?â Rafe asked.
âIs that a pick-up line?âÂ
âNope, just a question,â he said as he opened the high cupboard and pulled out a frying pan.
You tried to remind yourself you should reject his offer to feed you, you should storm out, you should tell him where he can put his frying panâŚbut you were hungry. And so tired.
âSunny side up,â you answered.
He nodded and got to work cooking you breakfast, eggs and bacon sizzling on the stove, Rafe close by with a spatula in hand, silent as he stirred and flipped. You rested your head on your folded arms, eyes half-closed and brain sleepy, watching him.Â
If you blocked out the last twenty minutes, you could pretend this morning was your real life, could let yourself imagine it really was all this simple and pleasant and sweet; heâd cook you breakfast, youâd make him coffee, and youâd kiss until the sun rose.
At the top of the stairs, Kelce stood and started descending, before Carter reached up and grabbed his arm.
âWhat are you doing?â She whispered.
âIâm hungry!â He whined.
âYou canât go down there,â Maddie scolded him, âgive them some space.â
âAre we just gonna stay up here all day?â Tom complained as he and Jack stood to join Kelceâs crusade into the kitchen.
âEverybody sit down!â Topper whisper-yelled. âGive them five fucking minutes, youâll all survive. You can fuck off back to your rooms if you want but no oneâs going down there.â
Carter couldnât help the heart eyes she made at him, surprised and delighted by his show of aggression in your defense.
Kelce groaned as he backed back down, Tom rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up as he trudged down the hall back to his room, Jack following with a huff.
âKelce, I have a granola bar in my purse, câmon,â Maddie offered, leading him towards her own door.
Alone again, Topper and Carter looked at each other for a long, quiet moment.
âIâm sorry,â she mouthed.
âI know,â he mouthed back.
She scooted towards him, nuzzling into his side as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, kissing her temple.
Downstairs, Rafe was done with your meal, scooping it onto a plate and sliding it to you across the counter.
âThank you,â you sat up and began nibbling at a slice of bacon.
Rafe took the stool next to you with his own plate of food. You sat in silence for a while, only the sound of forks scraping against porcelain and the occasional âcan you pass the salt?â between you.
Between bites, you rested your head on your arm again, nearly falling asleep.
âIâm so tired,â you mumbled sleepily.
âItâs been a long twenty-four hours,â Rafe agreed, taking a sip of his coffee.
âThatâs an understatement,â you snorted, sitting up again and finishing the last bite of your eggs.
âWhat aboutâŚthe next twenty-four hours?â He asked quietly.
You took a deep breath, the smile falling from your face as you considered the question underneath his question. You didnât answer him right away, hopping down from the stool and collecting your plate and his, carrying them to the sink. Rafe was quick behind you, arm reaching around and pulling the dishes from your hands to lay them in the sink. His hand rested on your waist, turning you to face him, pulling you in. Reluctantly, and without returned tenderness, you let him.
âRafe, I canâtâŚâ you said sadly.
âPlease just talk to me,â he pleaded, hands running up your arms and resting on your shoulders. You shook your head, blinking away fresh tears as you pulled away from him.
âIt hurts too much, Rafe,â your voice cracked. âAs great as the last few days have been, you canât see that being close to you hurts me. I worked so hard to get over you. So this isnât me throwing it all away, this is me protecting myself. Protecting what Iâve spent years rebuilding.â
âSo what, that's it then? Youâre just gonna go back to school and pretend this never happened?â The pain in his voice was palpable, and you cursed the part of you that wanted to reach out and make him feel better.
âI donât know, Rafe,â a small tear slipped through, gliding slowly down your cheek.
âYouâre just gonna stop talking to me, stop thinking about me?â He continued desperately.
You looked up at him finally, searching his face, nodding sadly.
âIâve done it before.â
Hurt flashed in his crystal blue eyes, flinching like your words had burned him. âYou didnâtâŚyou donâtâŚthink about me?â
âNo,â you told him honestly, another tear joining the one before it. âNever. Because if I let myself think about you, I wouldâve fallen apart. Iâm not strong enough, I wouldâve run to you, and every time I did that before, youâd let me down.â
âWhat about yesterday? What about this morning? Just think about the beach, everything was so good, it can be that way nowâŚâ
He reached out and cupped the side of your face, thumb brushing over the tears as he pulled you in toward him, kissing you out of sheer desperation. Like maybe if you tasted his lips, itâd transport you both back in time, back to the beach, back when heâd done and said everything right.Â
You allowed him to take you there for just a second, before the incident on the front walk flashed in your mind again, the pain of rejection like a knife to your gut. You pulled away from him quickly, side stepping him and moving to the other side of the kitchen, creating as much distance between you as possible.
âNo, no, you canât just kiss me and act like what just happened with Cassie didnât happen,â you shook your head rapidly, wiping your tear stained streaks with the backs of your hands. âI canât do this right now, I need some time to think.â
It required fighting every impulse he had, but he didnât push, didnât close the space between you, didnât try to regain the control he was so used to having. He just sighed deeply and nodded, eyes low.
âOkay, well let me know when youâre doneâŚthinking.â
With one last longing look at you, he stepped away to the basement steps, stopping at the top and turning halfway toward you.
âOh and that girl? The one who gave me her heart? For what itâs worth, I like her. Always have.â
With that, he was gone, the door clicking softly behind him.
Carter and Topper could hear you approach the bottom of the steps. Carter stood first, fully ready to greet you and grill you on everything that had happened since you last spoke. Topper could see all her questions and comments written on her face. He grabbed her hand and squeezed gently, stopping her before she marched down the stairs towards you. She looked at him in surprise but understood quickly as he gave her a slight shake of his head, whispering, âgive her some space.â
Reluctantly, she nodded, allowing him to lead her quietly down the hall and into his room.
Your footsteps were heavy on the stairs, body aching. Your brain was so fried you couldnât even pick one thing from the morning to focus on, like the part of your brain that processes events was temporarily out of order. So you stopped trying to think and just let your feet carry you to your bed, crawling under the covers in your clothes, falling quickly into a restless slumber.
â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â
In your dreams, you were back in the kitchen with him, shoulder to shoulder in comfortable silence as you did the dishes together. Rafe washed and you dried.Â
Only, it wasnât the beach house kitchen, it was one youâd never been in before. And in that dream-state way of knowing something you donât actually know, you were sure it was a kitchen the two of you shared, sometime in the distant, unwritten future.
(to be continued)
a/n: I'm so sorry, I had to do it.......also the prom thing may or may not be based on a true story and I may or may not have cried writing it....
also Iâm sick and tired so I didnât edit much sorry for typos! Iâll proofread again tomorrow đ
please note: the taglist for this series is closed. For updates when I post, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs <3
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fic#obx fic#drew starkey#rafe obx#rafe fanfic#rafe fic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#obx#outer banks#outer banks fic#topper thornton#x reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff#don't call me kid#topper obx
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perfect (it's not all it's cracked up to be)
Hello everyone! I promised you guys that the sequel for this prompt would be up by the weekend, right? Turns out I only sorta lied cause it's still Monday hehe. I hope you enjoy it!
You can read it on AO3 if you'd prefer! â¤ď¸
When Tommy wakes up, itâs like his body is on fire and freezing at the same time; half of his body feels numb, and the other half is hurting like never before. Huh, maybe his father had a point and all queer freaks end up in hell. Then again, considering one of his last deeds on Earth was walking out on sunshine itself, maybe itâs not about his queerness after all; itâs about Tommy himself.Â
He hears a heart monitor at his side, and that gives him pause; he doesnât think the afterlife bothers with medical devices, so⌠So maybe heâs alive? If only opening his eyes didnât feel like it would hurt so much, Tommy could try and find out (not that he knows what hell looks like; it could be like a hospital room, for all he knows). He tries it anyway, letting out a grunt as it, indeed, hurts like a bitch.Â
âOh my God, youâre awake!â A voice says to his right side, and yeah, now Tommyâs pretty sure heâs not in hell. Evan Buckley doesnât belong in hell, not even as part of Tommyâs eternal torture.Â
As his vision clears, Tommy sees Evan is on a chair by his side, and he looks⌠Rough. Thereâs stubble covering his cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. Heâs looking at Tommy with despair clearly written in his permanently wet eyes, as if heâs afraid Tommy will disappear if he looks away. And to Tommy, itâs still instinct to comfort Evan, to try and find something to say thatâll make him feel better.
âYou found your presentâ He says dumbly, his eyes not leaving the burgundy hoodie thatâs so beautifully wrapped around Evanâs frame, making him look as cozy and adorable as Tommy expected. And, well. It might not have been the smartest thing to say, but he supposes thereâs a lot of morphine going through his body right now.Â
âWell, yeah, after you told my sister where it was as your helicopter crashed? After you wished me Merry Christmas and Happy New Year as your parting words?! It wasnât so difficultâ He answers with a somewhat hysterical chuckle. âWhat the hell, Tommy?! Youâre too much of a coward to actually let yourself be loved and see a future with me, but not to send a farewell message to me through dispatch?! Youâre unbelievable!â
âBuckâŚâ He starts, but itâs clear he wonât get to say anything this time. For one, his brain is still working a little too slow to translate thoughts into words. Evan seems to notice it, and lets out a defeated sigh.Â
âWe⌠Weâll talk later, ok? Letâs get a doctor to check on you first. Sorry, that should have been the first thing I didâ He says grumpily, and presses the button by Tommyâs bed.Â
From them on, itâs a flutter of doctors and nurses, and Tommy learns the extent of the damage: a broken femur, at least five crushed ribs and a small concussion, not to mention the thousand bruises that turned his whole left side black and blue; he hasnât looked at a mirror yet, but it canât be pretty.Â
âYeah, well, you shouldâve seen the other guy, docâ He attempts to joke, and Evanâs scoff and the doctorâs exasperated look make it clear it wasnât his best attempt. âSo, letâs talk business, doc. Will I fly again?â Tommy asks, because thatâs the question that matters the most.Â
He realizes with a treacherous skip to his heart that Evan looks as interested in the answer as Tommy himself. During the whole time the doctor is talking to him about treatments and physical therapy and his perspective to get back to work, he stays by his side, nodding attentively at everything the doctor says (as if heâll be involved in your treatment, a hopeful part of his brain that should have quieted down weeks ago supplies, and Tommy does his best not to listen to it, because itâll hurt so bad when itâs not the case).Â
When the doctor makes it clear that Tommy will not go back to the air for at least six months, Evan squeezes his hand and gives him a look of solidarity that goes a long way to make it not feel like the end of the world. And when the nurse comes to up Tommyâs dosage of morphine and redress his wounds, he doesnât let go of his hand. Tommy wants to say something, anything, but heâs received a lot of information and the morphine running through his veins makes it difficult to put his thoughts into words. But he doesnât want to fall asleep; he doesnât want to let Evan go.Â
âSleep, Tommyâ Evan tells him in a firm tone. âIâll be here when you wake up. Then weâll talkâ
It sounds too good to be true; Tommy refuses to believe it. Evan would have every right to leave him to fend for himself; he wouldnât blame him in the slightest. He closes his eyes, fully expecting to find an empty room when he wakes up.
But contrary to all expectations, when Tommy opens his eyes again, feeling slightly more like a person and less like a shapeless bruise, is to find Evan in the same chair, only with the black hoodie this time, and a cup of coffee in his hand.Â
Heâs impossibly handsome in black, Tommy thinks dazedly, taking advantage of the fact Evanâs looking down at his phone to take a good look at him. There are dark circles under his eyes, and Tommy wonders if heâs been home at all.Â
His heart does another one of those treacherous leaps, and Tommy is having a hard time keeping the hope from bubbling in his chest. Because if this man saw Tommy at his worst, physically and (especially) emotionally, and was willing to stay this long by his side, whoâs to say he wonât stay longer? He was willing to; Tommy was the one who fled, thinking it was about the excitement of a new relationship, but staying by his side after a helicopter crash is something entirely different. Whoâs to say he wonât just⌠stay?
Tommy has to be brave; hell, heâs been brave before, on that glorious night where he took a leap of faith and placed a kiss to the man who had maimed his best friend for Tommyâs attention. Evan had been brave, if a little misguided, when he invited Tommy to move in with him. He owes him some bravery right now. If nothing else, he owes him some honesty after everything.
âYou were rightâ He blurts out, and Evan looks up from his phone, staring at him with widened blue eyes.Â
âH-hey, youâre up! Do⌠Do you need anything? I can call the nurseâŚâ He trails off when Tommyâs hand, the one which is less covered in scrapes and bruises, reaches out to lightly touch his.
âI just need you to listen to me. You⌠you were right, Evan. I was a coward. I am a coward. I⌠I donât know how to be loved. I never wasâ He admits it, and hates himself for choking up as he says it. This isnât a pity party; heâs just stating a fact: the sky is blue, alcohol is flammable, Thomas Kinard was never loved. He hates how it makes Evanâs whole demeanor soften, because Tommy doesnât deserve it.Â
âThen let me love youâ Evan whispers, taking Tommyâs hand in both of his. âLet me teach you how it feels. Itâs⌠Itâs not like Iâm an expert at it, ok? I⌠I havenât always been loved either. But⌠but I love you. You broke my fucking heart, Tommy, and I still love you. Do⌠do you love me?â
âWith all of my heartâ Tommy whispers back, and he canât keep a tear from running down his face. Hell, he almost died, heâs allowed to be emotional. âT-thatâs why I had to leave, Evan. If⌠If you didnât love me back⌠If you found out I wasnât perfectâŚâ
âI know youâre not perfect, Tommy. But guess what? I love you anyway, you idiotâ He says, pressing a kiss to Tommyâs forehead, another to the tip of his nose, and a very tender one to his lips. âYou⌠You always wanted me to see you as perfect. You barely let me in all the time we were together. But I saw it anyway, Tommy, and I still wanted you. I still want youâ
âI⌠I was so afraid of being hurt that I didnât think Iâd be hurting youâ Tommy admits with a sigh. âA-actually I didnât think youâd be hurt. I⌠I thought youâd be okay. Iâm sorry, Evanâ
âWell, I wasnât okay. Just ask all of my friends and the thousand loaves of bread in their pantriesâ He says with a chuckle, and then looks Tommy deeply in the eyes. âNext time, talk to me instead of doing a dramatic exit. And donât wait till you almost die to let me know where my Christmas presents areâ
Tommy chuckles, and squeezes Evanâs hand. He wishes he could sit up and kiss him within an inch of his life, but it sounds a little out of his physical abilities right now. Heâll content himself, with a peck on the lips before Evan sits back down, still holding Tommyâs hand in his.Â
âI promise Christmas will be perfectâ He says, and Evan shakes his head.
âI donât need perfect, Tommy. I just need youâ
â
And Christmas is not perfect. Tommyâs still mostly on bed rest and his legâs still in a cast. Buckâs staying at his place for now to help him around, but they decided to leave any serious conversations about moving in to after New Yearâs. They havenât really decorated (Tommy was too depressed to bother, and Buck didnât really have the time between his shifts and taking care of Tommy) and their plans for the day mostly consist in staying in bed and alternating between cheesy rom-coms and documentaries.Â
Itâs not perfect. They are not perfect. But theyâre together, and Tommy finds himself thanking any deity out there for his accident. That it brought Evan back to him, and more importantly, him back to Evan.Â
Buckâs wearing his new burgundy hoodie, and he gives Tommy the airplane model that he stubbornly kept in the hood of the Jeep all this time. They assemble it together, and itâs not the best, because Tommyâs hands are still a little sore and Buckâs not very good at the whole arts and crafts thing, but Tommy puts in his nightstand with adoration anyway.Â
And if thereâs no tree, no Christmas dinner, no cheesy sweaters, well. They can always make up for it next Christmas.
--
Tag list: (let me know if youâd like to be removed or if I missed anyone! Also if you'd rather only be tagged on Little Blobs' verse, also let me know! âĽ)
@bidisasterevankinard @unhingedangstaddict @silversky9 @music-is-the-voice-of-the-soul @asmugfirefighter @rubydaiquiri @racerchix21 @actuallyitsellie Â
#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#tommy kinard needs a hug#tommy kinard needs therapy#angst#crash that helicopter#gabby writes#stay
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(You don't have to answer instantly, don't burn yourself out)
MacMillan and MacTavish having a very Scottish bonding moment that confused the ever loving daylights out of poor Nik/everyone
(I apologize for the potential spam lol)
I'm so sorry but I'm blind as shit even with my glasses on because they're two years old and I need new ones so I have to ask. What is your pfp because I cannot for the life of me figure it out but it's funky and I love it.
Anyway, *cracks knuckles* you're about to watch me tear into different parts of Scotland with no context other than I'm Scottish and allowed to
"Now, lad. Wit bit of Scotland are ye fae exactly?"
John instantly knows that letting MacMillan and Soap drink together is a dangerous choice because the two get on like a house on fire but that's not what worries John. What worries John is this. The Scotland talk because he'd sat through more than enough rants from Mac back in the day about the best parts of Scotland and [in Mac's own words] the "shite" parts.
"Glasgow, sir. Pollockshaw, if ye ken it?" There's a brief moment of silence between the Englishmen at the table and Nik as they await the older Scot's reaction. Is that a good place? Fuck if John knows.
"Aye, aye. I get ye, I'm Stewarton myself." Mac looks amused, as does Soap. That has to be a good sign, surely.
"Oh, you're a hard man then. Dinnae tell me you went tae school there anaw?" It takes one glance around the table to know that he isn't the only one needing a written translation. Simon is mouthing half of the words that Soap says under his breath to try and follow along with him, Kyle looks positively befuddled and Nik looks two seconds away from seeing if he can lift both arms properly.
"Aye, fuckin' shitehole and I wis quick tae get my arse oot of that fuckin' school. Could've been worse, I could've been fae Cumnock. Or ye could've been fae Maryhill."
"My da's side is fae Maryhill."
Oh fuck. John doesn't try to hide his wince. Leave it up to Mac to commit some cardinal sin when discussing Scotland.
"Even he'd agree with ye, it's a soulless vacuum of dugshite, empty needles and misery."
Nevermind then?! John is confused, deeply confused. Why the hatred for Maryhill? And better question, where the fuck is Maryhill?
Mac and Soap share a laugh between themselves that only furthers the confusion between the non-Scots of the table.
"Better than Govan." They both crack up at that, loud laughter waving over the table. Is it possible for someone to laugh Scottish because both of them seem to be doing so.
Kyle nudges him with a light elbow to the ribs, cheeky bugger.
"You catch what any of that meant?"
"Not a fucking word, sergeant. Not a fucking word."
Eventually, they leave the two men to chatter between themselves. None of them have the ears nor dictionary to translate whatever the fuck those two are spitting at each other. That is until John hears a question that has him demanding silence from his end of the table.
Leave it to Mac to ask the dreaded question of the night.
"So, son. Ye a Rangers boy or a Celtic boy?"
Even Simon and Kyle look over with wary expressions, Nik might not understand the significance of such a thing but the lads do. Mac asks with such a casual demeanour, you'd almost think it was a friendly query. It is not.
"Rangers, sir."
"Smart choice, son."
A shared sentiment passes through them all.
Thank fuck.
#john soap mactavish#cod macmillan#captain john price#john price#cod nikolai#nikprice#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick
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âI canât speak!â Jason screams, but all that comes out is a gargled mess that sends the expression on Dickâs face plummeting into the icy depths of hell. Itâs so pleasing. So, so pleasing to see the joy and humour wiped clean from the face of Dick Fucking Grayson. Thatâs right, the grief in Jason crows, feel just an ounce of the pain that you left me in.
âIââ Dick canât seem to speak either, but for a different reason. His own voice box, whole and unslashed and never silenced, bobs as he swallows. âWho did this, Jay? H-How long hasâŚâ
âAre you fucking stupid!â Jason feels his useless larynx tear at the force of his rage, mangled vocal cords vibrating painfully, feeding iron down his throat, âWho do you think did this to me!â And the knife in his heart demands more agony, so Jason tears the collar of his under-armour down.
Dickâs eyes go straight to where he wants it, to Jasonâs neck, where his mutism is slashed across his throat in one vicious, horrible, line. Seven inches stretching perpendicular to his oesophogus. Six months healed, but forever an angry, jagged scar of raised tissue.
And Jason knows that Dick knows. He hears the sharp intake of air, and sees Dickâs eyes grow round enough that he almost looks like his younger self. The self that had taken one look at Jason wearing his colours and cursed him for it.
Jason waits for the satisfaction to hit, begs for the high of the pain when he finally gets to see the horror, the anguish, on the face of the Robin that Jason had once watched flying over rooftops with nothing but stars in his eyes. Now neither of them are starry-eyed. Jasonâs are poison green, while Dickâs are a few shades away from sharing the riteousouness of their mentor. So Jason waits, for disgust, or fear, orâ Or anything! Anything that he could latch on to instead of noticing the wetness in his eyes, or the beat of his lungs expanding irregularly.
But Dick disappoints him. Because there is no anger from him, only an overwhelming sense of grief. Only a hitched breath, and a sound almost like a sob. Suddenly, Jason is uncomfortable. And ashamed.
âJaybirdâŚâ
âStop looking at me like that,â Jasonâs mind says. âGet the fuck away from me,â his body language says.
Dick swallows hard, tripping backwards. Away from Jason. âI-Iâm sorry, I need toââ He bolts from the room and takes Jasonâs rage with him.
Dick is shaking. Heâs shaking so hard his brain mistakes the floor as a ship adrift at sea, his side hits the corner of the table as he drops to his knees. It probably hurts, but not as much as the engulfing, stuttering pumping in his chest. His heart is trying to leave him through his throat, his lunch is successful.
Jason will never make jokes at Dickâs expense again.
Jason will never wittily insult his opponents again.
Jason will never quote Jane Austen or reenact Shakespeare again.
Jason will never speak again.
Oh god. Dick couldnât even remember the last time he had heard his brotherâs laugh. Was it before Ethiopia?
He wipes the sick from his mouth and goes back. Jason looks⌠not fine, his eyes are near glazed, but his head tracks movement so Dick tries anyways. âDoes he know the full story?â
Jasonâs shoulders come up in a kind of half shrug. Then his hands come up, flipping and moving. Dick scrambles to keep up, his signing is functional but inferior. The first Robin didnât learn how to sign until Jason, who sat on a fire escape of a crime alley apartment building every night for months just trying to make conversation with a young boy who was deaf.
âHis batarang,â Jason tells him in sign, a condemnation. Itâs an answer for a lot of things. Because, Bruce had sat at a workbench for years, Bruce could slice an apple from a branch without rustling the leaves. Bruce knew what his batarangs could do.
Dick trembles. Rage? Fear? He doesnât know, but it forces him to open his mouth. âHe wonât fucking come near you again, Jay, I swear it.â
And that smashes the floodgates to smithereens. Jason is heaving, a wretched, ugly, soundless thing of pain and betrayal. His fingers jerk, pressing a phantom trigger, aimed at nothing until Dick steps forward. After that, Dick can barely keep up with Jasonâs fluttering hands. âHe chose him over me. He chose him. He killed me and he chose him.â
Him. Jasonâs killer. Joker.
âI know, Jaybird, I know,â Dick whispers uselessly. âTell me what you need.â
A breath, two. Jason exhales and it sounds like a rockslide in a thunderstorm. Sinew tearing, blood gushing. Dickâs toes curl at the sounds but Jason makes his lips move, soundlessly, at first. Pointlessly. Then gravel forcing itself off his tongue.
âKâŚill⌠âim,â Jason rasps, the effort staining his teeth red.
And Dick closes his eyes, and swears it on the universe.
Dunno, was just feeling like I really wanted to write something like this, though I usually donât like the âdeaf Jasonâ trope. Canon Red Hood goes through enough without adding in extra angst.
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DEVOTIONS WEEK DAY 3: ROYALTY/AHARCHY
CW: Corpses
When Zam finally finds him, everything is already over â the Prince stands, clenching and unclenching his fists over and over again, illuminated only by a narrow moonbeam coming through the stained glass window. Around him lie people â torn, maimed, crumbled. Every one of them is dead. The Prince is covered in blood. A sword rests in his hand.
â I'm sorry, â Zam says, because he must always be there for him, and he had no right to lose him, â I-
â Imagine, â the Prince says nonchalantly, wiping his sword, â they found me before I found them. They wanted to end me as they ended my father and mother. Fucking idiots, aren't they?
â Absolutely, Your Highness, â he agrees. There had never been any doubt in him about the Prince's ability to stand up for himself, but it was his responsibility to ensure safety, â they were very naive to think they could just kill you.
There is something nauseating about the number of corpses. He knew there might be double agents in the palace, but something about it left him with the impression that everyone who came to hand had been killed, guilty and innocent. Only now does he notice the horns that are peeking out from under the Prince's crown.
The demonic principle. Zam is embarrassed by the fact that he is not even a bit surprised. After all, he had been at the Prince's right hand since he was quite young.
â They know what you look like now, â he says...
â It's not that important, Zam, â the Prince waves almost lazily. He steps over the corpses, stepping on someone's limbs a couple of times, and turns out to be In front of Zam, â what a hassle, â he grumbles, finding that the blood is tightly embedded in his clothes now, â your cloak? â Zam carefully drapes it over the Prince's shoulders, at least partially covering the ugliness.
â But what now? â Zam bows his head, â the coronation awaits you, â he recollects, â since both the emperor and the empress are dead...
The Prince shakes his head. Those who had lost their rulers needed a friendly, confident and listening king. Not a half-demon who just caused a massacre. He easily came to terms with it, but he was raised as a prince, and he was always thinking about people.
â Zam, â the Prince says at last.
â Yes, Your Highness? â Zam responds. He checks all the passages over and over again to be ready if someone turns up on the approaches, but when the Prince calls out to him, he instantly switches over, staring at him.
â Zam, the people don't know what the heir looks like.
â It's true, â Zam shrugs, â but it won't last long now since the privacy perimeter has been violated. It'll make sense to get ahead of them and make a public statement-
â Zam. â The Prince interrupts him, and he breaks off, for some reason looking at him in confusion. There is always something special in his view of him - attention, dedication, devotion.
He waits for him to continue, but instead, the Prince takes off his crown. Without it, his protruding red-maroon horns are even more noticeable, making it unable to confuse them with anything.
â Zam, â he repeats, holding the crown in his hands, â the empire needs a symbol of hope, and it's not me. Demon-maniac is an image for a pocket killer, not for the ruler of them all. Will you become the new emperor?
Zam looks very similar to the deceased emperor and empress â blond and tan, with elegant features that do not correspond to his training in any way. He was not a simple man and was barely a year older than the Prince, but he had a kind face. They looked like two opposites â light and shadow, sun and moon.
And... He starts talking, but stutters and stops. Thousands of thoughts and questions swarm in his head, but as soon as he stops himself, he understands everything. This is a sophisticated puzzle that comes together in a single movement. He falls to one knee.
â Yes, Your Highness. â he answers, bowing his head, and still warm metal touches the top of his head. He looks up and notices that Mapicc is smiling.
â Welcome, my prince.
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Good Girl
This bad boy has been in the vault since Halloween yâall I am so sorryđ
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WARNING: MATURE AS A MF!!! I HAD TO ACTUALLY PUT A CONTENT LABEL ON THIS SO GET THE BABIES OUT THE ROOM AND IF YOU A BABY YASELF, GET THE FUCK ON!!! MATTER FACT, HOE WHY IS YOU HERE?!?!?!?!
Megan
Walking around the crib in one of my tour pieces, I texted aimlessly with my assistant and manager while we got the final details together for the upcoming tour. Watching his name flash across my screen, my stomach tightened before I hurriedly answered. âHello?â Hearing silence on the other side, I bit my lip in nervousness. âHello?â âWhat did I tell you before? How do you greet me, baby girl?â His deep voice gritted as my lower half quaked. âIâm so sorry I forgot. Hello, Daddy? How may I service you?â âGood fucking girl. What are you doing and what do you have on right now?â âIâm at the house in one of my tour outfits.â âLet Daddy see.â He groaned as I blushed already knowing that he was likely pleasuring himself. Taking a few mirror flicks, I quickly sent the images as I heard his phone buzz followed by his praises. âSo fucking sexy, baby girl. Daddyâs little slut looks so good and fuckable right now.â He moaned as my heartbeat traveled to my pearl. âIâm on the way. Go grab some ice and you better not keep me waiting.â He gritted before the dial tone hit signaling heâd left the call. Running around like a bat out of hell, I tidied up the house and prepared for his arrival because one thing Daddy hates is a mess he didnât make.
Finishing up in the nick of time, I heard the chime of the doorbell before sashaying smoothly to the door and opening it. âJust the way I like, baby girl.â He smiled shining his bottom grill as a pool formed in between my thighs. Trevante was a womanâs wildest dreams; wealthy, a good career with acting, and fine as all hell. We been on our sneaky link shit for a couple years now to protect our privacy, but best believe thatâs all mine. âHi, Daddy.â I cooed allowing him in as he walked around me not taking his eyes off my curves. Motioning me forward with his finger, I quickly locked the door before gliding in front of him eagerly. âGimme a kiss, baby.â Moving toward him, he gripped my waist strongly as our lips sealed with lust. Wrapping his left arm around my waist, he used his other hand to roughly smack and squeeze my ass as I moaned in his mouth. âSuch a good fucking girl. Go get that ice, love.â
Walking into the kitchen to retrieve the bowl of ice, I gasped feeling the cool air hit my backside as he ripped the mesh of my bottoms open. âTre-â âShut the fuck up. Imma buy you a new one.â He seethed bending me over the frigid countertop before using the pads of his thumbs to spread my lips as I moaned. âSo slick and moist like the good little slut I trained you to be.â Rubbing my clit, my breath got caught in my throat as I tried to stay still. âDaddy?â I breathed out as he continued his arousal against me. âYes, baby girl?â âMay I please feel your tongue on me?â âMmmmmm. Permission granted.â
Smacking my ass one more time, he took his time and licked slowly from my lips all the way up to my ass. âSo fucking tasty, my little slut.â âYessss, Daddy.â Squirming in place, he sent a round of hard rough smacks to my ass cheek. âStay the fuck still.â âYes!â âYes what?â âYes, sir!â âMmm, good girl.â Slurping and sucking, I gasped feeling two of his thick fingers penetrate my center as I instinctively tightened around him. âDamnnnnn, baby, just like that. Exactly like that. You taking my fingers so good. Pass me the ice.â Gripping one of the slippery blocks in my hand, I handed it to him before moaning louder as his fingers worked faster to make me cum. Feeling the cold, wet ice sliding into me, I shuttered grabbing his wrist out of instinct. âMove yo fucking hand and take that ice like you supposed to, girl.â He gritted holding onto my hands as he started tongue fucking me with the ice now in my pearl. âDaddyyyyy.â âYou ready for another?â Nodding, I once again grabbed more ice passing it to him as he continued the joyous exploration of my body.
Feeling my orgasm creeping up like a thief in the night, I rhythmically threw it back to meet his tongue. âMmmm, thatâs a good girl. You bout to cum on Daddyâs tongue?â âYessss, Daddy, please let me cum on it!â I begged grinding my hips faster as it got closer and closer. âMmmm, not just yet.â He declined removing his mouth and stopping his motions. âI donât think youâve earned it just yet.â Taking his fingers out with an audible squelch, I whimpered looking back at him with a frown. âCâmon upstairs, princess. We bout to go earn it.â He husked sticking his fingers in his mouth and sucking off my essence as my pussy fluttered. âYes, Daddy.â
Trevante
Eyeing her wonderful body, I bit my lip as I reached for her hands pulling her into me. Giving her a deep and sloppy kiss, I kneaded the cushions of her ass as she moaned and ran her nails through my scalp. Smacking her left cheek and feeling it reverberate in my palm, she gasped biting my bottom lip as I chuckled. Pulling away, I watched her doe-like expression before kissing her forehead. âAssume the position, princess.â Nodding, she turned around to let me tie her wrists before kneeling to the floor as I towered her. Dropping my pants and underwear to my floor, I watched her hungrily eye my piece as it swung freely. Leaning forward to greet it, I calmly gripped her chin and brought her eyes back up to mine. âNot so fast, baby, what did we talk about?â Smiling, she nodded gently. âMay I pleasure you, Daddy?â Nodding with a smirk, I released my hold and watched in lust as she placed soft licks and kisses on my manhood before finally taking me into her mouth.
*****
âYeeesssss, Daddy! Oh fuck!â She cried out as I dug through her treasure holding her against the bedroom wall. âYou like that shit?â âFuck yes! Oh my god right there!!!â She moaned clawing up my back as I spread her body wider for me. âYou cumming all down my shit, girl. Just like the good little slut you are.â I grunted as our sweaty bodies collided in utter ecstasy. No matter how long we been going Iâll never get used to how good her body feels contorting against mine. How peaceful it feels when her walls swallow me up when she cumming. That shit pure magic forreal.
âRight there!â She gasped as her pupils rolled back in her head. Gently tapping her chin, I brought her out of her trance as I dug deeper and moaned. âNot so fast, eyes on me princess. I want you to watch me come undone for you.â I panted staring deeply into her soul while delivering powerful strokes. âDaddy, I canât.â She pleaded trying to close her eyes. âYes you can, baby! You can do anything you put your mind to. Put your mind to this. Look at how good you making a nigga feel. You got it, baby, come on we almost there. Fuck, we so close.â Nodding, she clutched around my shaft confirming what I already knew as her orgasm on the horizon. âFuck, just like that mama. You so sticky and sweet just how I fucking like. I could get lost in this shit, bae. I love you so much!â I moaned uttering those three words for the first time but I couldnât help it. I was in love with this woman and with the way she was gripping me, I didnât care who knew it. âI love you too, baby. Fuck I love you too.â She pleaded meeting my thrusts seductively as I rolled my eyes in ecstasy. âNah, remember what you said. Eyes on me, Daddy. Look at me while I cum.â She requested touching my lip.
Reaching for the back of my head, she locked our foreheads together and we indulged in a staring match as we neared our peak. Feeling a fierce competition happening as my powerful strokes became more aggressive and ragged, her body seized around me in defeat as she released her sweet juices coating me, her, and the smooth floor. âJust like that, baby. You did so fucking good, princess, so mothafucking good.â I groaned in appreciation as my salty victory followed suit filling her deeply. Pulling me into a needy kiss as I continued filling her up, she ran her claws down my back making me moan at the tickling sting of her scratches. Leaning away with my lip between her teeth, she stared at me. âSo you love me, huh?â âSomething like that.â âMmmm, show me how much. After you call my designer and replace my performance outfit. Yea, nigga, I ainât forget. Now put me the fuck down. Done lost yo damn mind ripping my outfit up!â She ranted countrily as I shook my head and smiled. Thatâs my good girlâŚ
Tags: @violetmuses @kaylaahisthebestest- @theereina @believeinthefireflies95 @brisunique @madxlov3 @casualsludgeshoetoad @mauvecherie-writes @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @kumkaniudaku @geneziesm @megamindsecretlair @simpledopeme @goldenjasssy @vivaalenaa @playgurlxoxo @ghettogirly @luuvprincess @perfectlyimperfectme @tbmotw @comfortzonequeen @melanin-honeyy @strawberrymoon45 @luckygirlszn @kindofaintrovert @secretlifeoofmarpessa @cmbmjbfan @summwerella @qdancer22 @ihateyallniggas @rebelrel0987 @cheracherachera @bhristpher @cocooned-butterfly @ovohanna24 @theblessedcap @deijalee @ranikyani @catha2003 @magik22 @sweettea-and-honeybutter @pinkbuzzlightyrrr @justicefordeanthomas @liv10002 @kalideshawnwrites @j0joworld @withoutmusiclifewouldbflat @ladynotdiana @mymindisneverhere @brattyfics
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Hi, I just wanted to know your opinion (if you haven`t answered these questions before, sorry). In the Grishaverse TikTok (especially the Russian half), I constantly see that in addition to being an abuser and a groomer, Darkling is often considered a narcissist and an infantile boy. They even compare him to Bagra - like, she is a grown and serious woman who chose duty over family, and he is an idiot who has only whined and taken revenge for 500 years (I still don't understand who he is taking revenge on, to be honest). Also, they say he only cares about his own goals and only hides behind the idea of ââsaving the Grisha. I just wanted to clarify, maybe I read the books wrong, but where are the signs of infantilism there at all⌠Tbh after seeing that shit I turn to your blog to read smth adequate, thanks for posting on Grisha stuff!
Well, first of all thanks for some positivity.
Second, for some reason I believed there can't be more stupid takes, than those of US-American wokies.
I stand corrected.
Duty? To what? Whom? Baghra's never shown to genuinely care about anyone or anything but herself, and even that isn't quite correct- she's more than happy to wither if it helps her to emotionally blackmail her disobedient son.
Baghra's also the one with narcissistic traits. What else would you call her cold-blooded path to her own carbon copy?
Darkles isn't infantile. He's emotionally stunted, ironically at least partly as a result of his upbringing, when he was forbidden to properly socialize. It's likely also a coping mechanism formed to deal with both immortality AND being a pariah even among his own due to his uniqueness.
I would LOVE to see vengeful Aleksander. I would love to see him unhinged and uncaring for anyone, but his own feelings. Alas, even when dealing with Alina's childish antics, he's doing his best to remain composed (See: S&B Ch 21 and basically any interaction, when Alina's acting like herself) and do whatever's good for his people.
If not well-being of Grisha, what are his alleged goals?!
It's certainly NOT his well-being, and if it were the simple boring "power", he could've tried that anywhere else rather than collapsing Ravka. As present reality's proving- it's easy to rule the world from the top of your capitalistic heap of gold, so why not start in Kerch, where rules are much looser and slavery's saving the money that move the country?!
Yeah... it's just another case of idiots piling up all ugly words they can think of.
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waning moon
helen park x madam shell
summary: helen park sees the cracks in her lover's façade. (inspired by @mickstart and their amazing post on perhaps the most underrated ship of all time??)
tags/cw: nsfw, wlw, angst, pre-cw, betrayal (but vaguely unspecified), light choking, younger woman/older woman, age gap, references to coercion, vague references to abuse of authority, so much bird imagery, doomed sapphics wc: 1.1k
a/n: i literally read @mickstart's park x shell (shellen???) post and got possessed, blacked out for an hour and wrote this. i have 0 memory of how i got here or what this means and though it isn't like 100% what the post was talking about it DID inspire me to spill out this ramble ab a character who has 0 canon appearances outside of dialogue. sorry for pretentious purple prose and rough editing!! it's 12am forgive me
She doesnât know when she sees the change, but it slips in slow and sweet, like a paling knife glinting in the moonlight. How sand sifts to the bottom of an hourglass, she too feels just as suffocated under the weight of borrowed time.
Yet Shellâs eyes are paler still even in the dark, the waning moon of this interminable night, one that feels to Helen Park like the bookend of something. An answer, unspoken, but as implicit as though it had been there all along, a truth sheâd known deep down but refused to acknowledge. And why would she? How could she? It had been three long years since Shell took her under her wing, her pretty little bird, three years that had changed everything. Irreparably. Even now as Park finds the pieces of it all scattered and frayed with Shellâs silent betrayal, she sees the beauty in each and every one, too besotted with the finer details to bear looking at the bigger picture.
Shell is lying.
She knows, more certain than she has ever been of anything in her life. As the older woman climbs languid atop her narrow hips, smothered in perfume bergamot and liquorice, plum coloured lips close over her own in a lazy mimicry of a kiss. Helen parts open her mouth, as she had her legs countless times, like a good little protĂŠgĂŠ, showing her madam just what sheâs learned. All for her. Tongue hot as she kisses back with hooded, half-open eyes, curling around Shellâs like a proclamation. I know what you are. I know what youâre doing.
(And do you know, how powerless I am to stop you? As if Iâd even try?)
And Shell knows it too. In the dark of this Parisian hotel room, blinds drawn to cast away the worldâs prying eyes, she can see it on the girlâs face plain as day. Sweet Helen is a pretty thing, much too clever for her own good, but wears her heart on her sleeve, with eyes as big and shiny as a doeâs- and now hunting season had come for her sweet girl, and how wide they had looked at Shell upon her return, hands smothered in blood. Blood that she hadnât bothered to scrub, knowing Helen had likely smelled it coppery on the air when sheâd walked in. Her fingers are still tinged pink with it, even as she traipses them up the girlâs waist, cupping the plush undersides of her breasts.
That is to say, Helen isnât the best at hiding her expressions. Itâs what Shell had loved about her. The shrill gasps when Shell would come up behind her, grasping her waist in lieu of a polite excuse me; the way sheâd avert her eyes shyly when sheâd caught hers across a room, crowded, empty; how sheâd been so young when Shell had met her, blushing like a schoolgirl at the mere whisper of praise; and how when Shell had asked her but a month later if sheâd ever been touched before- properly, darling girl, like a lover might- Helen had flushed red and bright as a virgin. Perhaps she had been, too proud to admit it. For a girl who is as sharp as a knife and twice as lethal, Shell had held in her hands a mourning dove, cooing softly in her palm, willing to piece together its nest there. Right there. With her.
Now, not so much. Her songbird doesnât sing as she used to, her eyes parsing through the fog sheâd been happy to let Shell pull over them. Helen sees her for what she is now, and they both know it.
It isnât a strange thing, what sheâs doing. Not at all irregular. Itâs a gesture Shell had exercised over her innumerable times before, a kind of sordid foreplay, staking her claim over her. Shellâs hands lay flat upon Helenâs sternum, her heart thrumming steady but beating violent as a war drum; the older woman smiles- how well sheâs taught her. Calm, girl, slow breaths. Donât let them see you falter. Donât let them feel you shiver. Donât let them hear you breathe. In the face of fear, Helen had grown around herself flesh of stone, unyielding. That doesnât change, not even around Shell.
But this isnât a test. This isnât one of her many lectures, her teachings. Very rarely does Madam Shell separate work from pleasure, seeing the two overlap rather conveniently; but for Helen she had all the time in the world. Perhaps not after tonight, given what they both know now. But pleasure is a special thing she keeps locked in a drawer for Helen to pry open and play in, rifle curious fingers through until they snag on something that piques her interest.
And yet it always ends the same way. Like this. The older woman atop her, faraway look in her eye, warbled smile on her lips. Hands around neck.
Her fingers slide slow, deft, thumb parted to curl her hand around the pale column of Helenâs throat. And she can do nothing but be still for her mentor, her lover, holding her breath in wide-eyed submission, a devotion that spoke beyond words, beyond meaning. A kind of reverence she knows only Shell would understand, a stillness like prey clutched within a lionessâ maw. Playing dead, prettily.
Shellâs eyes fix upon her, steel grey boring into vivid green, alight with something akin to amusement; in the daytime, Helen mistakes the glint for adoration, something like love, when sheâs drunk enough on Shellâs affections to believe it.
Now, in the waning moon of their last night together- as they are, as they could have been, if only she didnât know what she knows at the very pit of her being is true- she recognises the errant flicker for what it is. Kindling. A struck match, willing to burn it all down, even if it means taking sweet Helen with her. Her mourning dove. Cast to the fire like everything else. For a terrifying moment, Park isnât even sure sheâd much mind it at all. Ashes to ashes, as they say.
And as Shell squeezes her hand soft and gentle around her favourite girlâs neck, Helen surrenders her head against the pillow, spilling back with a moan shrill like a song. Itâs the last time she knows sheâll ever sing for her again, so she makes sure itâs a good one.
#whatever the fuck this is !!!!#im so sorry this doesnt like make sense i just get carried away with prose and Vibes and i didnt even specify what kind of betrayal but .#i dont even think the Why would even matter to park#but the fact that the betrayal even exists at all is enough to cause her agony#i know i sound super pretentious shjakhjdsak but this was insanely fun to write and so easy??#was that inspired that the words just came effortlessly to me#but sorry for writing their names 4813978 times bc using 'her' kept confusing who was who ensjdjsjksdhfj#anyway#helen park#madam shell#helen park x madam shell#cod park#cod#call of duty#call of duty cold war#cod cw#cod bocw#call of duty black ops cold war#cod bo6#black ops 6#call of duty black ops 6#my writing
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I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.
You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?
Click on their name. And look at their profile.
I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.
"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.
"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.
Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.
Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.
Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.
I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.
Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.
#lincoln rants#I'm sorry but I'm at the end of my rope#I got a LOT of these comments on my Buddie Platonic Sugar Baby AU#acting like I was some new writer to the fandom#babes I've been here since the dawn of 2020 where the fuck have YOU been?#I am happy to answer questions! I love responding to reader comments!#but it is beyond frustrating to answer a question that if they'd literally just clicked on my author name#they would have gotten the answer to themselves#yes I have written more yes I am still writing yes I've been here longer than you have#and I don't mean that in a pulling rank/seniority way I just mean that in a could you please just CLICK ON MY NAME???#INSTEAD OF MAKING ASSUMPTIONS??? way#I'VE DONE MY TIME! FOUR AND A HALF YEARS! IN THE CIRCUS!#I'm sorry but sometimes I have to yell publicly a little#and I really do suspect this is people who are not on tumblr#so I am genuinely begging you#if you are on other social media platforms#PLEASE feel free to repeat what I have said#PLEASE I AM SO TIRED!!!
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watched last week's episode again and the Monoma & Aizawa dynamic has got me in a chokehold, so have some headcanons
Eraserhead used to be one of Monoma's favorite heroes, but some of the hero worship wore off when he saw how Aizawa approached teaching for the first time. part of it was petulant dismay over Aizawa teaching Class A, but some of it was also legitimate criticism of Aizawa's methods.
regardless, a lot of that admiration comes rushing back after the war when Monoma realizes how hard Aizawa's role has been, both physically and emotionally. (watching Bakugo die haunts them both, but it was particularly humbling to realize that Aizawa had to have seen similar things happen in the past).
Aizawa's perception of Monoma underwent it's own evolution as well. at first, he saw Monoma as clever and talented, but overall aggravating and unreliable. then, when Aizawa saw Monoma interact with Eri for the first time, he moved him into the "dependable but annoying" category. it wasn't until after the war that his perception of Monoma became predominantly positive.
Aizawa was one of the first people to check on Monoma in the hospital after the war. Monoma was so out of it that he can't even remember the visit, but Vlad King made sure to let him know that Aizawa had swung by when he was finally cognizant enough to hold a coherent conversation.
both Aizawa and Monoma carry unspoken guilt. Monoma feels guilty that he got taken out of commission and potentially left millions to die, and Aizawa feels guilty that he dragged a child into the conflict to take on his role in the first place. neither of them have properly spoken about it, but it's only a matter of time.
when school starts back up, Monoma begins making a multitude of guest appearances at the Class A lecture room. he spends a lot of his time subtly checking on Bakugo and flirting chatting with Shinsou, but he usually ends up bothering Aizawa for a while as well.
Aizawa bears it with a patience that most students do not expect of him, but it really isn't all that surprising. (Aizawa realized that he had effectively fed a stray the minute that he and Monoma witnessed The Horrors together. it's only natural that Monoma would seek him out.)
even after the final battle, Aizawa occasionally enlists Monoma's help using Erasure. he's able to handle most smaller situations by himself, but there are a number of (typically PTSD-driven) moments where a student's quirk gets out of hand and he needs reinforcement.
#i could talk about the hand hold for 10000 years btw#like it was partly functional (they needed to keep contact) but you CANNOT tell me that part of it wasn't also to offer reassurance#even then i don't think it was one way#i think that Aizawa was just as reassured by it as Monoma was#anyway i am yelling#bnha spoilers#bnha#mha#monoma neito#aizawa shouta#sorry anon i swear i will answer your q but my brain has been fried and this was already half-written
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30. Fave lyricstuck?
34. Fave Homestuck writer/fan artist?
48. Do you like your god tier or would you modify it to better suit your taste?
52. What character interactions would you have liked to see/see more of?
57. Quick! You gotta prototype your kernel sprite, what are you dropping in there?
80. If you could uncanonize one thing and one thing only, what would it be?
85. Do you have any crackships or rare ships?
87. Do you have any voice claims for the cast?
(sorry you had a lot of fun questions for the HS ask game)
30. Fave lyricstuck?
Prepare to cry! Hard! (for real, I'm ugly sobbing as I type this) â Home, Highwayman and Run To You
34. Fave Homestuck writer/fan artist?
I don't think I can choose a Singular Fave, so I'm going to randomly list some cool people that come to mind: @kimquach, @pastabaguette, @askinsufferableprick, @grriib, @appliedjuice, @faygos, @beescake, @pancakemolybdenum, @brokuma, @meruz, @weaselmcdiesel @impulsefungus, @tgcg, @snilm, @indigonite and @xagave! (as for writers, I don't read much fics at all, so I'm going to say @jakeenglishapologist)
48. Do you like your god tier or would you modify it to better suit your taste?
I actually don't know what my god tier is as of now! (âfake Homestuck fan spotted). Every time I take the test, I get a different result and I'm not savvy enough to classpect myself... That being said, last time I got Rogue of Heart (which I'm not too sure about) and you wouldn't catch me dead in a sleeveless shirt and leggings!!! So yes, I would absolutely change my godly pajamas into something more baggy and comfy â¨
52. What character interactions would you have liked to see/see more of?
I would have liked to see more beta troll interactions in general, but to be more specific I would have reaaaally liked to see how Eridan interacted with the trolls he actually had a pretty decent relationship with, like Karkat and Kanaya. And more of Jake and Jade!
57. Quick! You gotta prototype your kernel sprite, what are you dropping in there?
I'm not sure about the second prototyping because I would realistically struggle A Lot with the decision and I don't have ashes or meaningful stuff like that laying around, but for the first one maybe a huge blue teddy bear I have! (because anthropomorphic objects make for better guides, obviously!!!)
80. If you could uncanonize one thing and one thing only, what would it be?
I would definitely uncanonize Karkat not godtiering because it makes me sad to even think about...
85. Do you have any crackships or rare ships?
I'm super mega normal about ships, so this is a plain and boring "not really"! I could probably be swayed by most ships if the characterization was good enough, though!
87. Do you have any voice claims for the cast?
Not voice claims per se, but most trolls have a distinct voice in my head, which I think might have been influenced by cosplay panels and comic dubs back in the day. But yeah, I'm going to say Octopimp for Dave because his Dave rap changed me as a person. And Ke$ha for Roxy because it just fits!
#ozuzo talks#my asks#ask game#cerebralslimes#Sorry it took me like a million light years to answer!!! I've been super busy but I didn't want to half ass it!
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I actually for real feel like my phone's scanning quality has dropped monumentally while I was away on thing so that's a fun thing to figure out now. anyways
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#answering of ''sure'' whenever they ask ''are you gay'' strikes again#gods. genuinely at least on the export the quality of these dropped like to half. whats up with that#sorry if these are impossible to parse#anyways. scribbled these during ''holiday'' ''vacation'' ''getaway'''#sometimes it really is the simple things. hallucinating vividly about the casual life of a pair of teens to survive being in a car for 6hrs#WITH da family#so glad I picked up scribbling on paper again. I actually got stuff to do digitally today and!! literally it feels so much cleaner#like I feel like I relearned a bunch stuff doing traditional ink again for a sec#but yeah. u guys should know by now how much I think about food as a concept#took 3m off last year to write about it in fact. but now Im just microdosing by drawing langa#I'm also actually so insane about reki being a scaredy cat it's so. something. it means so much to me#this of course means koyomi is a jumpscare champion. among siblings that are close in age there must be#the one who sleeps in the lower bunk. and the one who ties a doll to a string by its neck and lower it down to be next to the others face#'why is that so specific' no further question. thank you#gods okay. I need to lay the fuck down it is now my time. to be in bed#Im onto some real exciting stuff rn! and when this piece is done I'll return to ink for a sec#so uh. ink comm maybe not this week. but the next#happy late labor day! seek and destroy. have a good night
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(askcinderpizza) Buffy@Bella: Meow Kitchen? Is this one of those small type breakfast cafe's or is there something to it? And no menus? Just order anything we want? Okayyy in that case, I'll just have curry...simple and spicy
The only things I can cook right now are Galarian curry and sandwiches. Sandwiches are VERY yummy! Big J loves to make them, and I'm regularly seeing her doing this... Mrow... But what about curry? Well, follow mew!
Bella goes outside with Buffy. She puts the pot in a grid and prepare some wood. She carefully ignites the flame with the lighter
Step 1
You also need to put a key ingredient, like cheese, meat, veggies, etc., but since we're makin' a simple curry, it's not required. For the spicy one, I'm putting some Cheri berries.
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
*sniff* *sniff*... AND MEOW DA! It's done! Now to put it on the plate...
Obtained: A Spicy Curry!
[ @askcinderpizza ]
#Answered#Prologue - Meowcome to Cabo Poco#BellaMeowscarada#Pokeask#Pokemon#BuffyCinderace#/ WE ARE SO BACK BABY!!!#/ sorry if it took me more than half a year to answer#/ dw I'll answer the rest of food asks without any complex scenes like this
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if twenty years ago someone told me iâd cry in relief knowing iâm getting a psychiatrist appointment within a week Iâd have probably told them to not exaggerate and yet here i am counting the hours until i actually get the damned timing
btw sorry if im mia iâll catch up asap i really canât keep up with socials rn
#took having a breakdown in front of the parents to get the point across#but like i canât go on like this i do stupid stuff because of anxiety and shit every other minute#everything goes half slightly wrong i cry for half an hour#i feel like a complete mess i canât go on like this for another month#idt normal therapy cuts it anymore i just hate it i need to get my shit together#not to cry on the bus while the three year old in front of me does the commentary loudly i hit rock bottom enough thanks#anyway sorry if iâm not around or answering the tags iâm just#doing extremely poorly i hope after this i get some fucking stable brain chemistry
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surana (mage, ⥠alistair) // hawke (rogue, ⥠n/a) // lavellan (rogue, ⥠cullen)
@kibellah tagged us for our dragon age elves in this picrew so !!!!! :)
#gideon.txt#hello do u want to hear abt our elves !!!! bc I will tell you <3#to answer ur important questions:#1. yes surana is the most important girl in the world#2a. yes hawke gets left in the fade. and also that's bethany's lil kerchief she wears in her hair#2b. also yes she's a half-elf bc we read that post abt the hawke kids being elven on malcolm's side fifteen years ago and#it has lived in our brain ever since. they're elves now sorry !!!! fuck u#3. yes lavellan purposefully looks like a dumbo rat. she's cute#fun fact surana and hawke originally looked the same (but w different hair lengths) bc we couldn't be bothered making an oc#so we actually just reused our commander shepard (who we Also used for skyrim). surana still has her name but#idk.... we're thinking abt changing it :/ aileen is nice and all but. idk. oh right also the other two are abigail (ew) + seren :)#def also wanna change abigail's name but we needed an A name and at this point we just haven't found a new one yet#edit: also seren in-game has a ponytail but. we don't like the options on the picrew lmaooo
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What do you think about the massive totk spoilers?
(no spoilers just venting lmao)
Honestly I'm very disappointed of the tloz Fandom, there are many zelda fans that just don't have that much time to grind this game up to a 100% in a day (I only have 5 hearts and 1 map explored) and tiktok already casually spills out the ending.
It honestly shredded all my motivation to play this game because of these spoilers, now the story doesn't make any sense to me and it just seems so random.
Most importantly.
The audacity people have to just splur out the whole story. It made me so mad.
Never in these past 6 years of botw ever was I spoiled.
Why now totk?
- your sad anon
Ok. I got this, like, back in July but I struggled to put into words for the longest time what I wanted to say and then I decided to wait for the Game Awards in just in case any one was still burning with a flaming passion for this game.
And while I could have probably have had more to say if I responded when I first received this, I feel as if I might have made it seem more accusatory than strictly necessary. So I feel more confident to say what I want to now that things have relatively calmed down.
I can't say I'll be able to mentioned all of my thoughts but frankly, you're not here for that.
First of all, I agree completely.
While I completely understand the hype that was surrounding the game, not to mentioned that I'm more lenient than many when it comes to spoilers, the fact that the end game was so blatantly spoiled truly showed a massive disregard for the fandom and community as a whole.
When I first got a few people complaining that it was spoiled on tiktok, my first reaction was more "Well that's all the more reason to not be on tiktok." Admittedly, the point went over my head due to my dislike of the app... until it happened to me. On this blog. Right in my inbox.
And I understood the point then.
Because that person didn't bother to ask me if I have even played the game. They didn't ask if it as ok to talk about the game or about spoilers and just assumed that I had been spoiled as well.
At that time, I hadn't even touched the game yet. (I haven't touched it since because I got busy with other projects and I'm not so inclined to play video games as it is but that's on me)
If they had started with at least trying to meet me halfway by asking where I was in the game or if I had even heard of the spoiler, I wouldn't have been so irritated with this person. (I never back form that anon (to my knowledge) so there's that).
The whole fiasco with what happened with Tears of the Kingdom was incredibly disrespectful and almost downright malicious. And frankly, I think this new culture that's coming about in social media is to blame. In my heart, I still want to blame mostly TikTok. That app has done way more harm than good when it comes to sharing information and videos and other media content. But that post is neither here nor now.
However, I think that if tiktok was around for the time of Breath of the Wild the same way it is today, I'm positive the same result would have happened with people blatantly exposing the ending of the game.
Shame on them.
#pinky replies#pinky answers#luckily i managed to avoid most of the context for that spoiler so I'm not entirely sure how it plays into the entire theme of the game#but the sheer audacity of that person to be like 'we all know this spoiler by now'#no we did not#what is wrong with you?#didn't even ask#also#I'm so sorry for taking this long to answer this ask#like half a year later#thank you for your patience
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