#sorry for cutting you off there jimmie but as you can probably guess that was the most interesting part of his interview

[javelinbk]

The Beatles in Australia/New Zealand: part 6 (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 7, part 8, part 9)

John and Paul talk to Bob about Adelaide fans in bins, Mad Mal and there's nothing wrong with our Jim

Bob: Would you say... Paul: Well, I'm in the Beatles room now and, I was just out on the balcony before, and there were three or four people outside there. None of them waving. Bob: How many would you say were there, John? John: About four million, I reckon Bob: Actually, I'd say between five and ten million, I wouldn't like to count them, and hundreds of them in a... been there all day, does this happen... Paul: In a bin?! John: In a bin all day! Paul: Hundreds of them, in a bin all day John: It's the record, must be the record Paul: You see? They must have gone in a bin all day... John: Yes, I sort of woke up at 7 o'clock and thought 'oh, it must be late', and I looked at my watch and thought 'oh no, I've got it wrong,' you know... so I popped off to sleep again, sorry folks Bob: Actually there would have been 200 people there I think at 7 or 8 o'clock this morning, and I wanted to know if this sort of thing's been happening elsewhere in the world... I've seen it in Amsterdam, but what about, you know New York... is this bigger than New York? John: Yeah... oh, it's bigger than New York, but they were outside the hotel... some, a lot of them got in in New York, you know, finding them in strange bathrooms and things like that Paul: The New York hotel was a bit higher though, you know, it was a great big skyscraper, this is... Bob: This is the lowest building we've been in - two storeys! Paul: Yes! They're just here Bob: It's been a fine day in Australia, and you haven't been out to, been able to get out... there were talks that you were going to BBQs, to see an Australian Rules football match etc, but you're still in the hotel John: Well, we never watch football matches anyway, but we like to go out, but it's a bit difficult, isn't it? Bob: Yes, I believe tonight you're going to watch yourselves on television, and then you're going to listen to... your show will be broadcast tonight, you're aware of that? John: Yes, oh we know that, we saw you last night recording it Bob: Err, what did you think of the reaction in the crowd here in Adelaide? John: Great, you know... that's all you can say, people give a... marvellous, it was, you know. It was wild, man! Wild, baby! Paul: Wiiild babe! Woo! Bob: Keep going... Paul: It's Mad Mal - he's back again Bob: Playing mad monkey business Paul: Yeah... John: Cut that out, Mal! Paul: Yeah, cut that out, Mal - we've had enough of that John: Listen, can we get this telegram in? Bob: Ah, yes John: There's a telegram here that says 'Did you see 'Welcome Beatles' nearing landing? Reply: Julie Hodgkinson, Therbarton... Thebarton... Thebarton Girls Technical High School'. Well, we did see it, so we want to thank you all, we saw it out of the plane just as we were coming in, in the schoolyard, and we saw you all jumping up and down, and we were waving, but you couldn't see us. So thanks very much, folks. Paul: Do you know what it was, Bob? These girls in the school got a big piece, I don't know, of material or something, and it had 'Welcome' and 'Beatles' written on two big pieces. They'd laid it out in the schoolyard, because they couldn't get to see us. You know, just in case anyone's wondering what it was, so thank you girls, thank you. Bob: I see in this morning's paper that some 200 schoolgirls staged a sit-down strike at lunchtime yesterday, because they were not allowed to listen to the Beatles broadcast of their arrival on their transistor radios - did you hear about that? Paul: No... John: It's a bit mean Paul: That's tight, in'it? John: I read also that we were only 220 yards away, and they weren't allowed out, but... some people are like that. Never mind. Bob: That's a kind word from John. Now, I want to go over and talk to Jimmie, because Jimmie I've heard... Jimmie: (screams) (laughter) Paul: There's nothing wrong with our Jim

Bob Rogers interviews John Lennon and Paul McCartney in Adelaide, 12th June 1964

[straylightdream]

run to you - my sweet savior

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: bang chan x chubby/plus size f.reader

friends to lovers / non idol au

↳ after running away from an abusive ex there is only one person you know you’ll truly feel safe with.

{ “You mean so much to me, and I just want to keep you safe. I’m so sorry he was ever able to hurt you,”

“Chan nobody was able to protect me.”}

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 9.6k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit sexual content (smut warnings below the cut), and mentions/talks of abuse happening (by the mc’s ex) before the story, and mentions of injuries from abuse. This is gonna be a heavier story.

𝐚𝐧: I started to really second guess this story when I was editing if I’m being honest.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected piv, oral (male rec), fingering (fem rec), this is pretty vanilla they’re in love, names such as: baby, and baby girl

You had known each other since your freshman year of college when your dorms were on the same floor. You became friends right away when Chan accidentally ran into you while he was walking to the library. He’ll never admit it to anyone but he did it on purpose. He had seen you talking to your friend and wanted a reason to talk to you. He figured it would be the best way to start up a conversation. From the moment you met you had become instantly friends. No matter what happened in your life you were always able to run to Chan. He would always be there to save you.

It was the middle of the night, and instead of being at home in bed you ran away to the only person you felt safe with. Standing at his door you rapidly knocked on the door trying to get him to come to open it quickly. Pushing the tears off your flushed cheeks that had a large bruise already forming you inhaled deeply trying to stop crying. If he didn’t answer in the next minute you were just going to walk to Changbin’s apartment. You were praying Chan was going to answer the door. You needed him desperately at the moment.

“Who is it?” he asked on the other side of the door.

“It’s (Y/N),” you said through tears as they continued to fall.

Opening the door, he stared at you for a moment. His apartment was dark behind him. You were caught off guard by the fact he was only wearing a pair of sweatpants that sat really low on hips. You could tell that he was asleep before you had woken him up with you pounding on his door. Sniffling, you stood there staring at him. You didn’t even know what you expected from him, but when you left your apartment you knew you needed to go to Chan.

“Why are you crying,” he said with his voice sounding raspy.

“Chan, can I come in?” You asked awkwardly standing in the hallway.

He nodded his head and stepped to the side signaling for you to come in.

You suddenly froze in place and you can’t even fully explain why. He noticed your hesitation and took your hand gently.

Holding his hand, he led you over to the couch that sat in the middle of his dark apartment. He didn’t even bother turning on any lights. The only light on was the one in the bathroom that was giving a dull glow near his bed. You were trying to calm down because you didn’t want to cry anymore. You kept taking deep breaths attempting to stop crying. The weight of the night felt like it was crushing you.

“What time is it?” he asked, sitting down next to you.

“It’s two in the morning,” you sighed knowing you shouldn’t have come to his apartment.

“Is there a reason you came to my apartment at two in the morning crying?” he looked over at you. You were happy the room was so dark so it must have been hard to see the bruises. You paused for a moment because you knew he was probably going to lose his cool when you told him why. “Promise you’ll stay calm,” you reached over and rested your hand on his thigh.

“Why do I know I’m not gonna like what you’re gonna say?”

“I need a restraining order against Jimmy,” you sighed, explaining why you needed a restraining order and was going to have to cause you to re-live the pain. You knew with Chan and Changbin being lawyers they would be able to make the process of you getting one easier.

Jimmy was your boyfriend of three years that you lived with. You thought he was the one you were going to marry until about two weeks ago when things changed between you. He used to be gentle and caring until more recently when things started to change.

Tilting his head to the side he asked, “why do you need a restraining order?”

You swallowed trying to gather the courage to tell him, “he hit me a couple of weeks ago after drinking. I told myself it was a one-time thing that he would never do it again, and then…” Tears quickly brimmed your eyes before you started crying again, reliving that hell of a night.

Chan’s nostrils flared as he tried to stay calm at what you were telling him, “then what?” he asked. He was trying to force himself to stay calm so that he couldn’t just go kill the man who hurt his best friend.

“He came home from drinking with his friends and he tried to kiss me and when I told him he was drunk he slapped me. I tried to fight him off and then he slammed me into a mirror,” tears fell as you looked down at her bare thighs that were covered in cuts. You could already see your legs turning shades or purple and green as the bruises were starting to form.

“What the fuck?” Chan stood up quickly filled with rage. You knew that Chan would have no issue killing Jimmy after what he did to you.

“Chan please stay calm,” you grabbed his hand desperately pleading for him to calm down. You didn’t need him to be mad right now; you just needed him to hold you and let you know you weren’t alone.

“He laid his fucking hands on you,” he gazed off into your direction. He didn’t know what to do at that moment. He wanted to personally go kill the man that touched his best friend.

“Chan, I left him and came here. I don’t need you to hurt him and I sure as hell don’t need you to be freaking out right now. I’m begging you to not do anything,” you sobbed clenching his hand.

He could hear the pain in your voice. Sitting back down on the couch you released his hand and he gently reached up and rested his hand on your bruised cheek.

Not being able to actually see you In the very dark room he asked, “how bad are you hurt?”

“My right cheek is really bruised, and on my left side my body got pretty cut up from the mirror,” you sighed as tears fell.

Gently he reached and wiped away your tears that were staining your cheeks.

“You need to file a police report tomorrow and then we’ll get you that restraining order,” he sighed attempting to calm down.

“Also you’re moving in with me for a while. I’ll take the couch and you can have the bed.”

“I can’t have you sleeping on the couch Chan,” you sighed.“I can sleep on the couch and you can take the bed.”

Silence took over the room for a long moment as you stared at him. He cleared his throat and said, “why didn’t you tell me a couple weeks ago he hit you?”

“Because I was embarrassed it happened and told myself it was a one time thing.”

Closing his eyes he shook his head upset he couldn’t prevent you from getting hurt. This should have never happened a first time let alone a second time.

“Let’s get some sleep,” you stood up. You wanted this hell of a night to be over.

—-

It has been a week since you left Jimmy and this afternoon Chan, Changbin and your friend Molly went over to your place you used to share with Jimmy and got all your stuff. While you were there both Changbin and Chan threatened him within an inch if he ever came near you again.

Laying on Chan’s couch in the middle of the living area of his studio you looked over at Chan who was in bed. You tried your best to fight back tears. You were finally free from Jimmy but that meant you were going to have to restart your life. You had been living with him for the last two years. So that meant you were going to have to find your own place, and your own furniture. You hadn’t ever lived on your own. When you went to college you lived with Molly and then after graduating you moved in together. You lived with her until you foolishly decided to move in with your ex. The sound of you sniffling back your tears had Chan's attention. Sitting up in bed he asked, “why are you crying?”

Pushing the tears off your cheeks you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed you kept crying in front of him. “It’s nothing,” you lied.

“Please come over here and sleep in this bed with me, I can’t have you going to bed crying on the couch,” he sighed getting out of bed.

Sitting up you looked over to where Chan was sitting on the edge of the bed, “I’m fine here. I think tomorrow I need to start looking for a place to live. I’ve never lived on my own and honestly it kind of terrifies me.”

Standing up he slowly started making his way over to the couch where you were sitting. “You can live here as long as you want?”

Before you could say anything Chan was standing in front of you shirtless only wearing a pair of boxers that sat low on his hips. You couldn’t help but stare at his toned body, your mind was lost in thought thinking about how good he looked standing around in just boxers.

“Are you checking me out?” he joked.

“I wasn’t,” you lied again.

Over the last week there had seemed to be quite a bit of sexual tension between you two. Back when you were in college you had slept together after a drunken night, and you had swore you would never talk about it after you woke up the next morning. Since you had been living together for a week you couldn’t help but think about the time you and Chan had slept together. You had fond memories of your night you spent together.

“I don’t want you to sleep on the couch, we're grown adults, we can share the bed,” he held his hand out for you to take.

“Chan are you sure?” You asked, reaching for his hand.

Nodding his head, he led you off to his bed. Slowly you both crawled into bed. Chan moved to one side and you laid on the far side of the bed. You both laid on your sides. Your eyes stayed locked on him as he stared back at you.

“Do you ever think about that night in college?” You knew they agreed to never talk about that night, but after living with him for a week you needed to know. You were curious if he thought about your night together.

He nodded his head, “I do.”

You sighed, “I do too.”

Reaching your hand out you rested it on top of Chan’s hands wondering why he was so good to you. You couldn’t help but wonder why he was your night and shining armor. He seemed to always be there for you, and never asked for anything in return.

“Why did nothing happen between us?” You had been wanting to ask him that question for years but could never gather the courage to actually ask him.

“Changbin was basically in love with you in college and I felt like I betrayed my friend,” he sighed. “Also we slept together right before you started dating that asshole William.”

Chan hated William; he was an asshole jock who cheated on you multiple times. He was one of your exes that did nothing but break your spirit.

“Changbin was in love with me?” You were caught off guard by this information. Back in college when you all met you were basically all best friends. You had a huge crush on Chan, but you didn’t realize Changbin had liked you.

“Yeah he was and if you ever tell him I said that I’ll call you a liar,” he said with a little laugh.

“Is he still in love with me?” You wondered what would have happened if you and Changbin had dated.

“I don’t think so. He hasn’t brought it up in years.”

“Well it’s good to know in college someone other than William wanted to get with a big girl,” you said thinking back to your college years when you struggled with your body image the most. You had zero confidence and went through stages of yo-yo dieting. It wasn’t until after you graduated you learned to love yourself and not care about what people think.

“First of all don’t talk about yourself like that,” he squeezed your hand. “Second of all there were other people who wanted you.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his comments and sarcastically said, “You know I totally had guys lining up to get with me.”

“You know we slept together right, and I was extremely attracted to you then and I sure as hell still am,” he rolled onto his back so he was looking at the ceiling.

Your eyes went wide, completely caught off guard by his words, “excuse me what?” You almost shouted.

“You can’t act like you didn’t know this,” he said coolly.

“Bang Chan you can’t play that comment off like it was nothing,” you sat up on the bed and stared at him still wide eyed.

“You were attracted to me then and you still are?” You were sitting on your knees.

“Why would I have sex with you if I wasn’t attracted to you?” He sat up.

Running your fingers through her messy hair you were trying to take in everything, “I don’t know we were both super freaking drunk.”

“Were you not attracted to me?” he asked, sounding slightly offended.

“Seriously you’re super handsome and funny obviously I was then and I still am.”

“It shouldn’t be shocking that I’m attracted to you.”

“You do realize I’m a bigger girl? I’m not the typical small girl that you normally date, right?”

“You do realize I still think about constantly getting my hands back on your curves right?” he asked, causing your cheeks to burn bright.

“You think about having sex with me again?” You asked completely caught off guard by his comment.

He nodded, not saying anything. He couldn’t believe he was openly giving this information to his best friend who he was sharing a bed with at that moment.

“Did you wanna maybe…” you paused and hesitated for a long moment because you were slightly scared you were going to get rejected.

“Wanna what?” he asked, turning towards you.

“What if we slept together again,” you sighed.

He pushed his eyebrows together processing what you had just asked him. You had just gone through a really nasty break up and this was probably your way of rebounding and no matter how badly he wanted to have sex with you he didn’t wanna be a rebound. If you actually slept together again it couldn’t just be casual sex to either of you.

“Okay you just hesitate so I’m gonna go to sleep and die of embarrassment,” you laid down quickly wanting to crawl off the bed and die.

“Wait,” he grabbed your arm.

“It’s fine Chan, sorry I asked.”

“I want to have sex with you really badly, but I don’t want this to be just rebound sex,” he sighed.

Pushing your eyebrows together you stared at him for a long moment and swallowed trying to figure out what exactly you said to him. “Chan..” you paused.

“It will happen again, don’t worry,” he let go of your arm and was silent for a moment.

“What is happening here?” You asked, confused by everything that was happening.

“We're gonna give you time to get over what happened with Jimmy and soon we’re gonna sleep together again,” he smiled.

You nodded your head

“Alright,” you said before biting your bottom lip.

“We aren’t going to rush this,” he smiled.

[…]

The sound of the rain outside of Chan’s apartment caused you to stir from your sound sleep. The feeling of Chan’s arm laying across your stomach made you to smile. Biting your bottom lip and looking over at Chan who was still sound asleep. Part of you wanted to move over and cuddle into Chan’s warm body. Yesterday the judge had granted you your restraining order against Jimmy. You were hoping that the papers were going to be delivered to Chan’s office today making it official.

The sound of Chan’s phone ringing caused him to pull his arm off of you. You quickly tried to slow your breathing down to attempting to act like you were asleep.

Picking up his phone he rasped, “yeah Changbin?” You loved the way his voice sounded in the morning. When he was still half asleep and groggy his voice had a rasp to it.

“Yeah go ahead and grab some bagels I’m heading in soon. I’ll probably bring (Y/N) with me,” he said.

You couldn’t help but smile at the fact he planned on bringing you with him to work. Slowly you opened your eyes to see Chan setting his phone down on the nightstand.

“Good morning,” you said softly.

“Morning,” he said as he raked his fingers through his messy curls. “I’m gonna take a quick shower and then do you maybe want to go to work with me?” he asked as he started getting out of bed.

“Yeah I’ll go to work with you,” you said, stretching your stiff body.

Chan slowly made his way off towards the bathroom and you couldn’t help but stare at his tone back as he walked away.

Walking over to the rack of clothes you had in Chan’s apartment you attempted to find something to wear. You picked out a nice dress to wear that you could throw a cute coat over the top. Sliding your dress on you walked over and found a pair of black heels that would go nicely with the outfit. Recently since moving in with Chan you had started doing some secretary work for Chan and Changbin at their law office they shared. When you went into their office to help out you liked to look the part.

Walking into the kitchen you worked on making a pot of coffee, and trying to find something small to eat to hold yourself over until you got to the office where Changbin was going to have bagels for you.

The sound of Chan walking out of the bathroom caused you to look up. He walked over to his closet and started looking for something to wear

He pulled out a gray suit that was your favorite suit. As he started getting dressed you quickly looked away and started making yourself a cup of coffee.

As you started pouring the milk into the coffee Chan walked towards you and said, “smells good.”

“I love the smell of coffee,” you said simply as he lightly rested his hand on your lower back as he reached for his travel cup. His touch sent a shiver down your spine.

“Yeah me too,” you said smiling. There was something about Chan’s touch that just made you feel safe.

“Can you make me a cup in my travel cup?”

“Yeah of course,” you said, reaching for the cup he was holding.

“Are you okay if we take our coffee to go?” he asked with his hand still resting on your lower back.

“Yeah of course. Why don't you grab your bag and I’ll get your coffee ready?”

“Alright,” he said, walking over towards his night stand where his bag was sitting on the floor.

You finished making your coffee and walked over to Chan who was standing by the door.

“Let’s go,” you said, handing him his cup of coffee.

You walked the short distance to Chan and Changbin’s law firm. You stood right next to Chan the whole way there, you laughed and talked about Changbin’s love of bagels. You talked about how that was his go to food back in college.

Walking into Chan’s office you found Changbin sitting at his desk eating his bagel. You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh.

The three of you ate your bagels and joked around a little before the boys got to work. Sitting at a table in the boy’s office you typed away on your computer looking at studio apartments in the area.

“How are there still no good apartments around,” you sighed. You had been sleeping in Chan’s bed every night and the sexual tension between you had gotten so thick that you could cut it with a butter knife, or at least it was for you.

“We’ll find you a place,” Chan said, walking over and sitting across from you.

“Why is everything so damn expensive,” you rolled your eyes. “I just want a studio, I shouldn’t have to pay this much.”

“It’s like that all over the city,” Changbin said sitting down next to you.

“I’m in no hurry to kick you out,” Chan reached over and touched your hand.

Looking down at your hand and then looking up at him you smiled.

Changbin looked at both of you extremely confused on what was going on between you.

“Are you two sleeping together?” he questioned, sensing the new tension between you.

Your heart rate picked up and you pulled your hand away from his, while Chan was extremely calm and just simply said, “no Changbin.”

Pushing his eyebrows together, Changbin didn’t believe Chan. Especially since his question seemed to make you so nervous. He could definitely tell something was different between you and Chan since that night you had left Jimmy. He must have noticed Chan’s lingering touches, and your longing looks. Changbin knew that Chan had always been protective of you, and that right now he probably felt like he needed to protect you even more than normal.

“We aren’t,” you said awkwardly. You technically weren’t lying to him, you weren’t actually sleeping together yet. The key word being yet.

“Then why are you acting so weird around each other?” he asked, still pushing his eyebrows together again.

Shrugging your shoulders, you said, “Changbin I have had a really rough few weeks. I’m just acting weird in general.”

Your statement made Changbin go quiet and made Chan smile. The last two weeks had been an emotional roller coaster for you, and you had been so filled with stress working on getting a restraining order against Jimmy. There had also been a lot of sexual tension between the two of you. You hadn’t even kissed, you’ve just shared longing touches and longing looks coming from you. You thought about the feeling of Chan’s lips on yours almost every second of the day. You would find yourself staring at his lips fighting the urge to get up and kiss him.

The boys went back to work and in the middle of the afternoon the sound of a knock on the door caused all of you to look up. You stood up and went over to open the door. You found a post office worker standing on the other side of the door holding a large envelope.

“This is for (Y/N, Y/L/N),” the postal worker said.

“That’s me,” you said as your heart was racing. You knew exactly what this envelope held. You turned around to find both of the boys looking over at you. Changbin looked like he didn’t know what to say to you, and Chan looked like he was trying to focus on the tone in your voice. “I’m free,” your voice was shaky and you were on the verge of tears. You couldn’t even begin to explain how you felt suddenly.

You sat back down at the table and slowly you opened the envelope to find your official restraining order against Jimmy. He wasn’t ever going to be able to hurt you again, and you knew deep down inside if he ever broke this Chan and Changbin would be there to protect you.

“(Y/N) is that what I think it is?” Chan asked, reaching over and resting his hand on top of yours.

“I’m free,” you said as tears slid down your cheek. You didn’t want to cry, but in that moment, you were just relieved and couldn’t help the tears. His thumb rubbed against the top of your hand, the simple gesture made you smile. “He won’t be able to hurt me again.”

“Changbin, why don’t we call it an early day?” Chan asked, standing up. He knew him and Changbin had more work to do but right now he wanted to get you away from the office.

“Yeah that’s a good idea,” Changbin said standing up.

“Let’s head back to the apartment,” Chan said, resting his hand on your shoulder.

Looking up at him you softly said, “okay.”

Chan grabbed his bag and led you out of the office. As you got into the elevator you were joined by a handful of people which caused you to be pressed against each other. Your back was pressed against Chan’s tone torso and he had his free hand that wasn’t holding his bag resting on your curvy waist. Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on Chan’s hand that was touching you. You didn’t want to think about Jimmy anymore. You didn’t want him to take up anymore of the space in your mind.

As the elevator doors opened and the people inside poured out you reached down and laced your finger with Chan’s and led him out of the elevator. He glanced down at your hands and then looked back up at you and gave you a smile.

The walk back to his apartment you were sharing was short. As you entered the apartment you let out a heavy sigh. Chan slowly shut the door and walked towards you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, knowing deep down inside you were going to be okay. You had a lot of thoughts going through your mind.

“Yeah I am,” you were okay as you were ever going to be. “Hey Chan?” You asked.

“Yeah,” he asked, sitting down.

“I’m ready,” you whispered. You finally felt free and you wanted nothing more to be held by Chan’s strong hands.

“Are you sure?” he asked slowly, reaching up to loosen his tie.

“Yes,” you said, walking towards him to help him take off his tie. As you removed his tie Chan moved his hands to rest on your round hips. Removing his tie, you lightly placed it on his bed. He moved his hand and rested it gently on your cheek. Lightly he tilted your face towards his. “Thank you for looking after me,” you said softly.

“I would do anything for you,” he moved his face down towards yours and rested his forehead against yours. “You mean so much to me, and I just want to keep you safe. I’m so sorry he was ever able to hurt you,” his voice sounded shaky. You know he’ll never forgive himself for not being able to protect his best friend. You can tell him until you’re blue in the face that there wasn’t anything he could have done and he’ll never believe you.

“Chan, nobody was able to protect me,” you sighed. “I should have left the first time he hit me,” a tear slid down your cheek. You blame yourself for Jimmy hitting you, you knew you should've seen the signs pointing to Jimmy becoming violent, but you were just blind to it. You didn’t even want to think there was a chance the man you loved could hurt you.

“I should have seen the signs this was happening, I saw you countless times after the first time he hit you. I should have noticed something was up,” he slid his thumb across your cheek removing the tear that had slid down.

Slowly he pressed his lips to yours for a slow longing kiss. His lips tasted better than you remembered, you felt as if they were made for yours. Your hands gripped his white dress shirt as your lips started moving together. Pulling your lips away from him, you reached up to push his jacket off.

“Nothing like that will ever happen to you again,” he stated.

The second his jacket was off you stepped away to remove your own coat. You took a second to remove your heels. You stood in front of him watching as he untucked his dress shirt and started unbuttoning it. As he removed his shirt your eyes locked onto his toned stomach. Your eyes traveled up to his face to find him smirking.

“Let’s get your dress off,” he said, stepping towards you. He reached for the hem of your dress and pulled over your head slowly. You stood in front of him in only your bra and panties. You would normally feel exposed but with him you didn’t. Reaching down you worked on removing his belt. You fumbled with it for a moment before he let out a soft laugh and removed your hands to remove his own belt. You stood there watching him as he removed his shoes and socks and pushed his dress pants off. The sight of him in nothing but a tight pair of boxer briefs was absolutely mouth watering.

His hands reached behind you and unhooked your bra. You both stood there in only your underwear with only a couple of inches between you.

“I’ve missed seeing you like this.” His lust hazed eyes traveled up and down your curvy body.

“Believe me I’m nothing special.” You sighed and looked down at your soft stomach. You were still dealing with the fact that you didn’t feel comfortable in your own skin.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, you are so beautiful,” he sighed before pressing his lips to yours again. Pulling his lips away from you he whispered, “you are the most beautiful person I have ever known.” His lips started kissing their way down your jaw. His touch was a mixture of wet kisses and light nips. You held your eyes closed tightly just enjoying the feeling of his touch.

“How do you know all the right things to say?” You asked with your eyes still held close.

“Because I have wanted to say them for a while,” he said as his lips ghosted your skin. He dropped down onto his knees in front of you and your eyes opened quickly as his fingers hooked into the top of your panties and slowly slid them down your thick thighs. Your breath hitched as he kissed your thighs.

“Chan,” you sighed.

“Yeah baby?” he asked looking up at you.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You asked as you signaled for him to stand up. He stood up and he was standing in front of you again.

He pushed his eyebrows together and looked at you completely confused by your question. He just grabbed your hand and put it over his boxer-briefs that were strained against his very hard erection. “You’re the one who did that to me,” he said, smirking. “I don’t want to be with anyone else other than you right now.”

Reaching down for the top of his boxers you slid them down his tone thighs. You didn’t think you would get over the sight of him naked. Back in college he was extremely handsome and in shape, but now he was even more in shape. “You’re so beautiful,” you whispered.

“Come here,” he said before crashing his lips into yours. As your lips moved together Chan strong hands moved down towards your round ass and pulled you close to his body. Slowly Chan started walking them backwards until Chan fell back on the bed and brought you down with him. He rolled you onto your sides and you pulled away from him and stared at him for a long moment. He moved to roll onto your back so he’s hovering over you. His lips captured one of your nipples while you moaned his name. Dragging his lips away from your skin he looked up at you and whispered, “spread your legs for me.”

His words made you even wetter at just the anticipation of what was to come. Sitting back on his hunches between her legs he lightly pushed your legs further apart. You tried to steady your breathing and stay calm as you watched him steadily pump his length. Your teeth caught the bottom lip.

His finger slid between your folds as did gentle circles around your sensitive nub, and you couldn’t help but whine wanting more than just his fingers on you. Removing his finger, he held his length and pressed his tip to your entrance. You gasped as he pushed into you. Your hands gripped the cotton sheets below you. His hands gripped your round hips as he rocked his hips into your core. Your head rolled back and you moaned as he pushed fully inside you. He stilled for a moment and rubbed your clit earning another moan from you.

“I need you close,” you moaned.

“Okay,” he rasped as he held himself still inside you as moved his body so he was hovering over you. Connecting his lips to yours he started to roll his hips against yours again. Your hands gripped at his strong back he thrust into you. He couldn’t help but groan at how tight you were.

“You feel so good baby,” he groaned with his lips ghosting your shoulder as he continued to push into you.

“Please don’t stop,” you whined.

Your nails clawed at his back holding him close to you. The sex in college had been fun and sloppy, but this was a whole different thing. This was filled with passion and lust. You couldn’t seem to get enough of each other as his teeth nipped at your shoulder.

“Chan,” you whined. You weren't sure if you knew any other words than Chan’s name at the moment.

You panted and whined as he pushed you over the edge. Your walls pulled at his length as he came inside you. He stilled in you completely as you whined riding out your own high. Removing himself from you he rolled onto his back attempting to catch his own breath.

“I needed that so much,” you sigh.

He reached over to pull you closer to him. You curled up next to him and rested your head on his chest. Silently you laid there just enjoying your post sex bliss.

“That was better than college,” he softly laughed.

“That was way better than college.”

Leaning down he lightly kissed the top of your head. You couldn’t help but wonder what this meant for you. You thought it was obvious that the both of you had feelings for each other, but you weren't sure when you should actually talk about them.

“Maybe we could take a nap and then order some Chinese food,” he said as his hand ran up and down your spine.

“That would be great,” you said as you curled up closer to him.

[…]

The feeling of his lips on your skin drove you mad in the best way possible. Chan laid on the couch with you sitting in between his legs. He wore nothing but his boxers and you in nothing but your bra and panties. Chan’s lips were attached to your neck sending a shiver down your spine. He peppered kisses across your skin, and occasionally nipped at the sensitive skin causing you to giggle.

Pulling away from him you looked at him and just smiled. You had just slept together and you couldn’t wait to have sex with him again. He made you feel like you were the only person on the earth that mattered to him, and it made your heart flutter.

“Why are you smiling at me?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

“How do you know I’m smiling? I’m not even facing you?”

“Because I know you,” he spoke softly as he reached his hand up and rested it on yours and he brushed the pad of his thumb against the corner of your mouth. “Why don’t we go back to bed?” he asked. He couldn’t seem to get enough of you at the moment, and he didn’t think at this point he would ever get enough of you. He wasn’t sure how you had managed to wait so many years since that drunken college night.

“Alright,” you whispered, reaching over and lacing your fingers with his. He couldn’t help but smile to himself, you seemed to make him happy.

Standing up you pulled Chan’s hand and helped him up, you led him over to the bed, and stopped right at the foot of the bed. You placed your hand on his strong chest signaling for him to stop. He didn’t say anything, he just stopped in place curious to what you had planned. Silently you dropped to your knees in front of him. You couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip as your fingers hooked into the top of his boxers.

“What are you doing?” he asked as you slid his boxers down his strong thighs. You didn’t say anything, you just slowly licked his length causing him to groan. He sure didn’t expect you to start going down on him. If he remembered properly from your drunken night together you had confessed to him you hated giving head. As you took him in your mouth he was confused on how some who hated doing this was so good at it. Your hands gripped his base as you slowly bobbed your head against him. He closed his eyes holding back a moan as you dragged your tongue against the underside of his length. It was taking everything in him not to tangle his fingers in your hair and help her movement. You hummed with him in your mouth and he just about came right there. His fingers tangled in your messy locks and lightly tugged trying to signal for you to stop.

“Baby,” he moaned. “I’m gonna cum in your mouth if you don’t stop,” he groaned.

You released him with a pop and looked up at him enjoying the sight of him on the edge. Standing in front of him you reached behind yourself and undid your bra. He was still standing there with the same grin plastered on his face. “Did you enjoy that?” You asked, reaching down and taking his hand.

“Words can’t explain how great that was,” he said, smiling. “I thought you said you hated doing that?” he asked, still trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

You placed his hand on your breast and said, “I used to hate doing it but remember that frat guy William I dated back in college after we hooked up?”

“Unfortunately, I remember him,” he said as his hand started massaging your breast.

“Well he liked getting head more than having sex, so I got pretty good at it,” you said, remembering back to your time in college. You were really starting to regret not telling Chan how you really felt about him back then.

“I hated that guy,” he groaned.

“I hated him in the end too, but at least got good at doing that,” you said with a little laugh.

“Okay I don’t want to hear about your asshole ex anymore,” he said before closing the distance between you. His lips were intoxicating to you, they were like a drug you couldn’t get enough of. His hands moved from your breast to your round hips. He held you close, as your lips moved together.

Pulling away from him you grinned and took a step back. He wasn’t ready for that kiss to be over and he rasped, “I wasn’t done.”

You worked on removing your panties so Chan wasn’t the only naked one, “patience.”

Chan took this as his cue to crawl onto his unmade bed. Sitting in the middle of the bed he waited for you to join him. “Close your eyes Channie,” you wanted to tease him.

“I hope you’re naked,” he said, causing you to laugh.

“You can find out in a second,” you crawled onto the bed. For some reason being with Chan gave you a sense of confidence you had never actually had before. Crawling on your hands and knees you made your way to Chan who connected his lips to yours for a kiss that was filled with a sense of hunger. He wasted no time rolling you over so he was resting on top of her as their lips moved together.

He opened his eyes and couldn’t help but feel the love behind them. Pulling away from you he settled himself between your legs. “Are you ready?” he rasped.

“Yes,” you sighed.

He thrust into you painfully slowly, he gripped your round hips holding onto you as he rolled his hips. You reached up and gripped his ass attempting to speed up his thrust. “Let’s take it slow baby girl,” he rasped. Just the mention of him calling you baby girl almost sent you over the edge. Chan had always been flirty with you, and quite touchy, but he had never really called her anything other than your name before you moved in with him. Him giving you a pet name in the middle of sex made your heart race.

“Just like that,” you sighed, moving your hand up to his shoulder blade to pull him closer to you. You needed him to put his lips on yours, and you just needed him closer. When you were having sex with him you just wanted him to be as physically close as possible to you. His lips connected to your as your nails scratched his back holding onto him. You couldn’t hold back your moans as you moaned into his kiss.

Chan was a man who knew his way around a woman's body, and it drove you mad. He pulled his lips away from yours and you moaned his name loudly. His pace picked up as you hooked your leg over his hip giving him a new angle.

“I’m close,” you moaned.

His lips attached to your neck as he pushed you over the edge. You held your eyes close tight as you rode out our high. He panted as thrust into you holding off his own high. Your eyes open to find him staring at you with a sense of hunger. The way he was staring at you turned her on so much.

You pushed on his chest signaling for him to stop, his hips still and he panted trying to catch his breath. He was so close to his own high it wasn’t going to take much more.

“Why are we stopping?” he panted, still inside you.

“How do you want to end this?” You asked knowing that the missionary was considered boring, you liked clinging to him as you came, but you wondered what he wanted.

“Baby…” he trailed off as if he was trying to figure out what to say to you. “I’m not trying to fuck you senseless, this isn’t just sex this is different. I want to savor every moment with you.”

You were trying to wrap your mind around what he had just said to you, you weren't sure what was going on with you two. You knew you weren’t together but you were pretty sure you were in love with the man that was still inside of you. His words led you to believe that he had feelings for you too.

“What does that mean?” You reached up and rested her hand on his cheek.

“I would like to finish making love to you and then we can talk,” he said as his hips slowly started moving again.

Your eyes brimmed with tears as thrust into you slowly over and over again. You didn’t want to cry but what he said made you quite emotional for some reason. Chan seemed to care about you more than anyone you had ever been with. It didn’t take much before he finished. He stilled in you for a moment and leaned down and connected his lips to yours for a soft kiss.

He rolled off you and laid on his back with a smile on his face, he didn’t seem to notice that his words seemed to have knocked your world on its side. You laid on your side staring at Chan feeling extremely confused. Part of you want to jump out of bed and just run away. You wanted Chan and you to be together, but suddenly you were terrified of your feelings for him. You had been burned by love so many times, and you knew nobody would ever care for you like Chan did, but you were still scared.

Chan reached his hand over and rested it on your chest as you looked up at the ceiling trying to figure out what you needed to say. “Why does your heart feel like it's about to burst from your chest?” he asked, still trying to catch his own breath.

“Because I’m still coming down from that orgasm,” it wasn’t the full truth, but technically you weren't lying to him.

Chan could tell by your tone something was wrong, he wasn’t sure what caused you to start freaking out but he needed to know.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” you said, attempting to escape this conversation. Crawling out of bed you quickly went to the bathroom. You left Chan laying on his bed very confused.

Walking into the bathroom you turned on the water and waited a minute to heat up before stepping in. You were hoping that the warm water was going to wash away anxiety you suddenly had about you and Chan talking about your relationship. You stood under the warm water closing your eyes trying to figure out if you and Chan could even work as a couple. For so long you had thought often about what it would be like to be with Chan.

You opened your eyes at the sound of the sliding glass door opening. You found Chan standing in front of you.

“Why did you just lie to me and then run away from me after we had sex?” he asked.

You swallowed and knew you were going to have to tell him how you actually feel about him. Pushing some of the water from her face you said, “because what you said scared me.”

He pushed his eyebrows together confused, “what scared you?” You could tell he was wondering if you suddenly regretted sleeping together.

“That you said it wasn’t just normal sex,” you whispered as your eyes once again started to brim with tears.

He stepped closer and reached down and took your hand in his, “is that all you thought this was with us?” You knew he was probably afraid to hear your answer. You had waited to have sex because he didn’t want to just be a rebound, and he cared more about you then he had ever cared for anyone.

“I didn’t think you actually saw me as more than a friend,” you whispered.

“(Y/N) you can’t be serious?” he said, taking another step towards you. He was now standing under the water with you and there was only like two inches separating you. You were silent, feeling suddenly embarrassed. “I wouldn’t have slept with you just to have casual sex. I value our friendship too much to do that. I care so much for you,” he reached up and placed his hand on your cheek. His words were causing your stomach to twist in knots.

“Chan, I think I love you,” you whispered, afraid to actually say it out loud. “I think I’ve loved you since that night in college.

“You think?” he asked as his thumb gently brushed your cheek as he had his hand still resting on your cheek.

You nodded your head. You knew if you spoke again you were going to break down and cry, suddenly you were so overcome by your emotions.

“I love you too,” he smiled.

You couldn’t help but start to cry, you had been through so much recently with Jimmy hitting you. Between you getting your restraining order and Chan taking care of you. You suddenly felt like an emotional mess, you were crying even though his words made you happy.

“Why are you crying?” he asked, sounding worried.

“Because I was scared you didn’t feel the same way,” you whispered.

He didn’t bother saying anything; he just leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. The sound of the front door opening caused you both to jump apart.

“Did Changbin just come?” You whispered praying this wasn’t how Changbin was going to find out.

“Yeah,” Chan said, nodding his head.

“What the hell do we do?” You asked, praying Changbin wasn’t gonna walk into the bathroom. “I’m gonna go out there and talk to him.”

He slowly opened the sliding door. You reached down and grabbed his hand signaling for him not to leave yet. “Please don’t tell him I’m in here with you. Lie and tell him I’m out and then go to the bar with him. I'll meet you there.”

“(Y/N) are you ashamed of me?” he asked with a little laugh.

You rolled your eyes, “Chan I would prefer he doesn’t find out about us by walking in right after we had sex,” you said sternly letting go of his hand.

-

“Alright, I’ll see you at the bar in thirty minutes,” He leaned forward and gave you a quick kiss.

He grabbed a towel off the hanger and wrapped it around his waist before walking towards the living area to find Changbin sitting on the couch.

“Hey Changbin,” Chan said, running his finger through his wet hair.

“Where is (Y/N)?” he asked.

“She ran to the store, what’s up?” Chan asked, trying to change the subject.

“I was going to ask if you guys wanted to go to the bar and celebrate the fact that she got her restraining order,” Changbin asked, not bothering to question what you went to the store for. “Why is her bra on the floor?” Changbin asked, looking over at the foot of the bed.

Chan shook his head lightly and wanted to laugh at the fact that you forgot to pick up your bra, but then again, you weren’t exactly expecting company. “She was probably changing before heading out while I took a shower,” he lied.

Changbin shook his head, “telling me why (YN) didn’t come live with me.” He joked, “how is your back not killing you from sleeping on his hard couch?”

Chan shrugged his shoulders knowing damn well he hadn’t slept on the couch, that you and him had been sharing the bed long before you even had sex.

“I’m gonna get dressed and then we’ll head off to the bar, and we can call (Y/N) on the way and tell her to meet us there,” Chan said walking off towards his closet. He grabbed something casual to wear before heading off to the bathroom.

As soon as he walked inside he waited for you to say something. He turned on the bathroom sink attempting to make some noise so they could talk for a second.

“Do you just want to go out there now and tell him or do you want to keep up the lie until the bar?” he asked, reaching out and grabbing her hand.

“He’s gonna freak out,” you whispered knowing that Changbin wasn’t going to take this well.

“Yeah he’s gonna freak out if he finds out another way,” he whispered back as he started getting dressed.

-

“I’ll meet you at the bar and we’ll work this out there,” you said, sitting down on top of the toilet and watching as Chan got dressed. You couldn’t help but admire his body as he got dressed in front of you. Before leaving he leaned down and gave her a quick kiss goodbye. “I’ll call you in five so hurry and get dressed.”

Chan took off with Changbin towards the bar, and less than five minutes away Chan called you and told you to meet him at the bar. You quickly blow-dried your hair and got dressed so you could meet the boys at the bar.

You found them sitting in a booth with beer sitting in front of them. The second you got to the table Changbin jumped up and pulled you into a tight hug.

“What did you go to the store for?” Changbin asked as you slid into the booth next to Chan.

“I needed more shampoo and conditioner,” you lied.

Chan rested his hand on your thigh causally and gave it a light squeeze. You wanted to look over at him, but you didn’t want Changbin to notice what was happening.

“What did you want to drink?” Changbin asked as the waitress walked towards the table.

“I’ll take a cranberry and vodka,” you said.

“Okay hun,” the waitress said before walking off towards the bar.

“What did you guys do this evening?” Changbin asked casually before taking a drink of his beer.

Chan gave your thigh a squeeze as he said, “we ordered Chinese food and just hung out. Oh, and (YN) took a nap when we first got home,” Chan said it like it was no big deal that he had left out the major detail that you had also had sex a couple times.

“Sounds fun,” Changbin said sarcastically.

“I personally enjoy naps,” you said with a laugh.

Chan slowly rubbed his thumb against the inside of your thigh, it was a simple gesture but his touch was making her stomach fill with butterflies. Not even an hour ago you had admitted you loved each other and suddenly you were trying to act normal.

The waitress came over and sat your drink down in front of you and you gave her a quick thank you. You took a big drink attempting to get a little bit of courage because you knew you needed to tell Changbin that something was going on with Chan because you knew that he was gonna get pissed if you hid it from him any longer.

“So Changbin,” you hesitated. You weren't sure what exactly you should say to him.

“Yeah?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

“I’m in love with Chan,” you just blurted it out because you weren't exactly sure what else to say. Changbin’s eyes just went really wide and he looked at you like you had two heads or something. It probably had something to do with the fact that you stated it like Chan had no clue.

Leaning his head forwards trying to process what you said he looked over at Chan who seemed extremely unfazed by your sudden statement.

“Chan, did you hear her?” Changbin asked, still confused.

Chan nodded his head, “yeah I did.”

You felt like you might faint suddenly. You weren't exactly sure why she stated it like that but you felt like you had gotten an adrenaline rush. You just stared at Changbin wondering how much he was going to freak out.

“Are you guys together?” Changbin asked, trying to figure out what was going on.

“We don’t know,” you said, realizing that you and Chan hadn’t exactly talked about that.

Chan squeezed her thigh again and said, “yeah I like to think we are.”

You looked over at him and smiled, your heart couldn’t help but race a little.

“Wait, did you guys lie to me when I asked if you were sleeping together?” Changbin asked, feeling slightly offended that you lied to him.

“No, we didn’t lie to you,” Chan said. “We talked about our feelings today,” he took his hand off your thigh and took your hand and laced his fingers with yours.

“I swear to God Chan if you break her heart, I’ll break your nose,” Changbin said, causing you and Chan to laugh. “Wait, is that why (Y/N’s) bra and underwear were on the floor…” Changbin's face dropped at his realization. “Did I almost walk in on you?” Changbin asked, suddenly feeling gross.

You scrunch your face up at the thought of Changbin walking in on you having sex. “Yeah you came kind of close,” you sighed.

“I would never be able to get that image out of my head,” he said, shaking his head at just the thought.

You and Chan couldn’t help but laugh.

The three of you hung out in the bar for a couple hours before you and Chan headed back up to Chan’s place. You walked inside holding hands, and you couldn’t help but feel happy and safe with Chan.

“Thank you so much for taking care of me,” you smiled, stepping towards him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and just smiled at him. Your lips connected for a soft kiss.

“I hope you don’t plan on moving out anytime soon,” he said with a little laugh.

“I’ll stay until you kick me out,” you laughed.

“I love you so much,” he smiled.

“I love you too Bang Chan,” you said resting your forehead against his.

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

[twilightthefoxicorn]

Taleblr Characters as LPS Pets Part 1 (P.I.E.)

As inspired by @evilmagician430, here’s a list of what LPS animal I think various Taleblr characters would be!

As there are over 3,000+ pets, it’s kinda hard to narrow down which ones suit the characters, so I’ve included several. I’ll try to explain why I chose the ones I did, but some of them were purely just off of vibes so some may not have much of an explanation, oof.

Also, as everyone has a different take on the characters, I encourage anyone interested to share which pets you think the characters would be (I’m sure we’ll all have different answers lol). It’d be cool to see all the different pets everyone thinks suites the characters :3

Due to the sheer amount of characters within the Taleblr universe, I am most likely forgetting several characters. Sorry in advance, as my memory isn't the best ;-;

As there is a limit to 30 images per post, I've had to divide this post into several posts. I've kept them organized, though, and this one is for P.I.E. characters (in honor of P.I.E. Day). The Acachallas will be in the next post!

All of the images used are either from the LPS Collector's Wiki, or from ToySisters.com. The images with the blue backgrounds are from Toy Sisters, along with the 2nd image in Mary's section, and the images with the white background are from the wiki.

List of characters with their respective LPS animal under the cut!

P.I.E. Characters

Johnny Ghost

So LPS #1953 fits Ghost the best, imo. The color palette suites him, and for whatever reason when I look at this pet I just think, “Yeah, that’s literally Ghost.” So there’s that. It's literally Ghost as a cat, idk what else to say. Looks like it is not a physical contact type of pet.

Purely off of vibes, but LPS #1142 could potentially work. Idk, just reminds me of Ghost for whatever reason (I think cause I saw a horse like this irl and it reminded me of Ghost). Looks like it'd bite you if you're pushing its buttons too much, so maybe best not to get on its bad list.

Jimmy Casket

As Jimmy is associated with blood and vampires, I think LPS #1470 is a good match! Besides, bats are pretty cool! I didn’t really see any other pets that I thought would work, though, so it’s just this one for Jimmy. An absolute gremlin. Would probably fly up high and dive-bomb unsuspecting pets.

Gregory Casket

When I think of Gregory, I think of dinosaurs and space. Unfortunately there aren't any dino LPS pets (unless you're counting the birds), but I did find two pets I think would work. LPS #661 works imo because it seems like a younger pet, and it gives energetic younger sibling energy. Wholesome little guy, must be protected.

I could also see LPS #1154 fitting Gregory. I tend to associate greens, blues, and oranges with him, and this gecko has all three. I headcanon that Gregory loves reptiles and amphibians, so I could definitely see him being one in the LPS world. Give it some paper and crayons, and it'll think you're great.

Johnny Toast

When I think of an animal that fits Toast, I’ve always associated him with border collies and huskies for whatever reason, so I think LPS #210 would work well for him! It looks like a dapper gentledog, too, so that’s a plus. Would make the best pancakes, too, I think.

LPS #785 fits, and I think the color palette works as well (there are some other LPS with the same mold that are dark blue, and those could work as well! One of them is LPS #1217).

Gavin Toast

I’ll be honest, I didn’t really see any LPS pets that just screamed Gavin to me, but I think LPS #523 could work! Looks like the type of pet to try to act aloof and mysterious, but secretly just doesn’t want others to get involved.

LPS #55 could also work, as that cat looks like it’d try to con me (that look says it all…). I think of Gavin when I see tuxedo cats anyway, so I guess that's another reason why I think this pet could work.

Jinny Toast

Johnny and Gavin’s sister Jinny is a slightly hard one, as I can not for the life of me remember if we’ve ever seen her in a video (she’s been mentioned a few times, though). So purely going off of headcanon, I think LPS #1209 works well for her! I associate purples with her for whatever reason, so this pet’s colors fit her to me. Seems like a pet with tons of ambition, who isn't afraid to speak what's on its mind.

LPS #815 suites her as well! Something about the dark gray mixed with the little bits of the light blue here and there gives me Jinny vibes.

Mary Toast

It was hard to narrow down what pet I think best suites Mary, as I found several. That being said, I think that LPS #347 works best. It looks like a confident, fun-loving pet, and its coloring matches what I headcanon her hair and eye colors to be :3

I could also see her being LPS #69 from the newest line. I just think it gives Mary vibes, idk. Sorry for the picture being so small; couldn't find one that was bigger :(

Fred Spooker

I have always associated Spooker with cats, so that’s why I think LPS #1521 is a perfect match! While the pet itself doesn’t automatically have the pink beanie, it did come with its set! As with the cat for Ghost, this pet just screams Spooker to me.

I could also see LPS #511 working for them, as I think the color palette and markings fit Spooker’s aesthetic!

While rather basic, I think LPS #2034 would also match, as I think of yellow tabbies regarding Spooker :3

Chris “Colon” Ghostie

There were a few pets (albeit repetitive) that I thought could work for Colon, but I ultimately landed with LPS #1602. This bear just makes me think of Colon a lot, and it seems like it’d be a cool pet to be around! Probably very logical as well (Chris is the most logical one of P.I.E. after all).

LPS #366 could work as well, mainly due to the color palette (I heavily associate purples, blues, and greens with Colon). Seems like a chill pet to be around. Would definitely want to hang out with it. Could have some interesting conversations with it, I'm sure.

Woah

Maybe because she is a ghost and floats around wherever she goes, bit I tend to think of birds representing Woah. Due to this association with birds, along with Woah's color palette, I think that LPS #1650 is a good match! This pet also gives me Woah vibes, idk. It seems polite but shy. (While not pictured, LPS #372 is a pet from the same mold that I think could fit Woah, too. It has brighter colors than LPS #1650, but it's still pink, blue, and purple.)

I could also see LPS #1660 fitting. It looks like a sweet younger sister who likes to be with others, but also gives me shy vibes. Definitely suits Woah, imo.

Johnny Boast

I don't exactly have a lot to say about Boast, oof. But for whatever reason, I think that LPS #1191 fits Boast a lot. It seems like the type of pet that's somewhat reserved but once you get to know it, it's got quite the sense of humor. A good vibes pet for sure. Would definitely want to be friends with this pet.

I could also see LPS #650 working for Boast. Idk, when I look at it it reminds me of him a lot, so there's that. I think it's the colors, but I'm not quite sure. This pet seems loyal and calm, which are attributes I see Boast having.

Johnny Roast

I didn't really know how to choose a pet for Roast, so I decided to choose his based off of vibes. With that, LPS #753 gives me major Roast vibes to the point that this is a case where this pet is literally just him. Can't really explain it, but yeah. Probably a prankster, and was definitely the class clown when he was in high school.

Dark Pit

Since there isn't a lot to go off of with Dark Pit when it comes to canon, I'm relying on my own take of the character for choosing what pet I think works for him. I usually associate blacks, purple, yellows, and blues with them, and that definitely influenced what pet I chose. That said, I think that LPS #2708 would work well for his angelic form. I wanted to stick to a pet that could fly, then I remembered that there was a LPS fairy line. This pet looks like a sparkle dog, and sparkle dogs are cool; Dark Pit is cool, so they get to a sparkle dog.

For his human form, or in this case animal form, I think that LPS #1748 is a good fit. This pet gives me vibes that it would be the type to constantly observe/watch other pets, which would fit along with an angel watching over humans (animals in this case). Like, you're at a party and this pet is just in the corner sipping punch and observing everyone. Mysterious. Totally not trying to see how it should interact with the others.

William Barricade

If I'm remembering things correctly, wasn't it stated that William Barricade used to be a member of the OG P.I.E. (like, when Boast, Roast, Pit, etc. were around)? I just remember that he was part of P.I.E. in the past, but he quit (not on bad terms or anything, though). Anyway, I think that LPS #61 suits him a lot. Idk why, but I feel like he'd definitely be a German shepherd if he was an animal. I don't really have much to say about him, sorry ;-;

Katrina

As there is very little info about Katrina in canon, my picks for what LPS pet she would be are probably going to be different than what's expected? (Idk what the general consensus surrounding her is, oof.) That being said, I think that LPS #2135 works well for Katrina, as its color palette makes me think of her and the pet gives me similar vibes to who Katrina is (at least according to my headcanons). This pet seems friendly, but it also looks like someone that I wouldn't want to be on bad terms with, you know? Seems really smart, but maybe a bit too kind to people for its own good, putting others before itself.

I also think that LPS #879 would be a good match, as it gives me vibes that it would be a friendly pet who has a good sense of humor, and also likes learning new things. Also, for whatever reason, I associate sheep with Katrina? I genuinely don't know why I do, but for as long as I've known of her I have.

Jenny Ghost

Idk what all to say about Jenny Ghost, but I honestly can't remember much about her? I know her and Jenny Toast showed up in 2 or 3 videos, but I can only vaguely remember 1 :( Anyway, I associate grays, pinks, and purples with her, as well as cats, so I think that LPS #1921 fits her well. Coincidentally this pet is from the same mold as the pet I chose for Johnny Ghost. This pet gives me sassy girlboss vibes, lol. Could probably have some of the most thought-provoking conversations followed by the most mind-baffling ones with this pet.

Jenny Toast

Like I mentioned for Jenny Ghost, I unfortunately don't really know a lot about Jenny Toast :( That being said, she seems like such a cool, fun person to interact with. They would probably try to get me involved in some wacky shenanigans, and I for one would probably be down to join. Anyway, I think that LPS #1676 fits Jenny Toast well! I associate her with purples, blues, and blacks, as well with dogs and rabbits. This pet also just gives me Jenny vibes. It seems very polite but also like a bit of a troublemaker. Very fitting of Jenny Toast, if you ask me. (This may be me misremembering, but wasn't Jenny slightly a prankster in the videos they were featured in?)

I can't upload the image of this next pet due to the 30 image limit on posts, but I think that the LPS Kohl's Rabbit could also work for Jenny! It's a white bunny with light blue accents, and it reminds me of Jenny Toast a lot for whatever reason.

[coolbeanzeaglbones]

No, I've been procrastinating long enough, you guys deserve another chapter…and here it is…

When James was restarted, he got a bearings of his surroundings. It was dark, though being a robot, he was quite able to scan in the dark.

The room was padded, James could sense another heartbeat in the room. It was frantic…and right in front of him, “oh.” James couldn't contain as he backed a bit away. The boy was about ten years old, he looked concerned before his furrowed brow relaxed, “Oh good, that worked.” He sighed, relieved.

He sounded almost lonely, like he hadn't interacted with anyone in a while, “I'm Christian.” He introduced himself. James looked at his outstretched hand for a moment before shaking, “James.” He said,

“Well, can I call you Jimmy?”

“I don't see why not.” Christian let out a little laugh, “Sorry, it's been a while since I've really talked to anyone.” He left his spot to grab a flashlight, “I don't like to use it much, but since there's two of us…” he trailed off, switching the bright light on.

For a few moments, you could cut the awkwardness with a full knife, that's how much there was. It was like an overinflated balloon.

It was Jimmy who broke the silence, “What's he going to do with us?” He said, feeling strange. He only really felt emotions when things were really tense, and this would probably classify as really tense.

Christian let out a mirthless chuckle, “Your guess is as good as mine, robot.” There was some stress in his voice, but he tried to calm it. Trying to seem strong.

Jimmy crossed the little space between them and gathered his new, no other word for it, cellmate, into a hug.

He learned from his parents, when it got tough, a good hug is worth thousands, if not millions of words.

His companion was slightly shaking with repressed sobs and Jimmy, knowing what his mother did, stroked his back, “hey, hey, it'll be okay, just let it out, you're safe right now, don't worry.” He had Christian's face to his chest, there was a wet spot forming where his tears stained the front of his flannel.

They just sat like that for a bit, until Christian relaxed enough to mutter a “thank you.”

“Ugh, I'm just so sorry to dump that on you, but it is good seeing someone near my age again, your same age as my little brother.”

“Ooh, what's it like to have a brother.” Christian sniffed and for just began info dumping, “Oh, yeah, I have an older sister and three younger brothers. Oh man, one time there was a bigger kid pushing around my littler brother, Parker, so,” he broke off laughing, “so I got some of my friends to push the kid around on the merry-go-round really fast, he threw his lunch.” And the conversation went on like that. Sharing stories, laughing amongst each other. It almost made them forget about the horrid situation they were in. But, at least they weren't alone. And that made it less horrific.

So sorry for not updating sooner, I've had writer's block and then was sick so…. 😐 

[thedo0zyslider]

This scene is going to be in a future EAL chapter, that by the current schedule will be posted in 2-3 months (maybe 4). I wanted to post it a little early, with it being pride month and all. Hope you enjoy!! ^^ The scene and my thoughts about it below the cut <3

Fwhip studied Jimmy’s face for a minute, brows furrowed just a little. He was clearly thinking about something, even if he tried really hard to look like he wasn’t, and it was bothering him. 

He waited a minute, in case it had just been a momentary thought in the cod's mind. It soon became clear that it wasn't, because Jimmy’s face became more scrunched up. If Fwhip had to guess it was something that had been on the blonde's mind for a while, one of those things he knew he needed to bring up but always waited too long to do. 

"Jim," He muttered softly, scooting closer from where they sat on the bed. "I can tell you're thinking about something important." 

"I'm obvious, huh?" Jimmy chuckled, leaning against his partner. 

"Yeah," The Count smiled, grabbing the cod's hand and lacing their fingers together. "So what is it?" 

Jimmy looked at nothing for a moment, pouting as he thought some more. Fwhip made a mental note to tell him later he looked cute like that. The blonde took a deep breath, as if to steady himself before speaking his mind. "Ya know how Shrub’s like....asexual? I'm...like that too." The cod muttered, and seemed almost embarrassed by the admission. 

Fwhip blinked a few times, which was probably not a good thing to see when Jimmy nervously glanced over. He hadn’t been expecting to hear that, and that wasn't meant in a bad way. The Count had really just been expecting something more par for the course with them, like.......well he doesn't know what exactly he was thinking Jimmy would tell him; a small part of his mind had been worried that they were about to break up in all honesty. 

As soon as Fwhip opened his mouth to speak he was cut off by Jimmy, who seemed to be rambling out of anxiety. He simply stayed silent, letting his partner explain as much as he needed to. "It's like....I'm not opposed to doing that stuff," Jimmy began, face turning a little red at the implied subject. "I mean if you really wanted to--nevermind that part. It's just that I don't view you in that way. I don't think of anyone like that and its kinda weird to me when other people do." He finished his explanations by flopping backwards onto the bed with a quiet huff, wincing a little as his own head collided with the Codfather’s head. 

"Sorry," He added a moment later, like this was something that warranted that response. 

Fwhip laid on his stomach next to the cod, resting his head on his arm. "You don't need to apologize," He said, shifting closer. "Being asexual doesn't make me love you any less." 

Tension seemed to leave Jimmy’s body, the blonde visibly relaxing. "Thanks.....means a lot." He whispered, a small smile momentarily resting on his face. 

In response Fwhip shifted closer again, until their arms were brushing. Jimmy looked over, moving so he was laying more on his side than his back. The Count lowered his voice a little, and suddenly understood why Jimmy had been so sheepish just a minute prior. "Ya know I always thought some romance things were weird." He muttered, and found that it was a little hard to admit something he'd never told anyone else before; not even Gem or Sausage. 

"It would just be like, random things about love and I wouldn’t get it or I'd think its strange and uncomfortable" He finished, a little unsure of how to word the rest of those feelings. 

Jimmy nodded. "Do you....still want me to be all romantic with you? Like is that fine?" He asked, and said something unexpected to the Count for the second time that day. 

"Nothing you've ever done bothered me, Jim. It does the opposite if anything." Fwhip smiled, appreciating the sweetness of the question. 

"Are you okay with...the making out and things like that?" The Count asked a moment later, gaze turning from soft to serious rather quickly. He was deeply hating the thought that he'd made Jimmy uncomfortable at any point. 

"I am." Jimmy answered almost instantly. "I would've said something if I wasn't." He added, seeing that Fwhip wasn't quite convinced yet. As if to make his point clearer, Jimmy leaned over to place a rather low down and open mouthed kiss on Fwhip's jawline; basically pressing it to his neck. 

The Count giggled in response, moving positions so he could hold Jimmy to his chest. He wrapped his arms around the other, their legs and tails ending up in a bit of a tangled mess in the process. The cod buried his face into Fwhip's shoulder, light and contended clicking sounds coming from his throat. Fwhip rested his chin on Jimmy’s forehead, making his own content sound in the form of a purr. 

"I never told Scott that, back then." Jimmy muttered it quietly after a little while of just holding each other, so quietly Fwhip thought he'd imagined it at first. "I should've....we just never really had those kinda conversations. I've only really told Shrub and Lizzie before you" 

"I never told anyone about my like....weird romance thing at all." Fwhip matched his partner's soft tone. Jimmy held him just a little tighter. 

"I'm glad you felt like you could tell me, I really am." He muttered. 

"Same here." Fwhip pressed a kiss or two to Jimmy’s soft hair, continuing to lay there and listening to the sound of his partner's steady breathing. ------------------------------------

I had the idea of Jimmy being asexual when writing chapters 7-9 and it became so important to me very fast. Like immediately. I knew I had to acknowledge it at least once. I didn't want it to be another thing in the tags, and also knew that they should probablyyy have a conversation about that at some point I just really wanted to establish Jimmy’s asexuality and how Fwhip just loves him regardless. (Some part of my mind also decided that EAL Fwhip is on the aromantic spectrum when writing. No idea where he falls on it he's just. somewhere, vibing. This one might just be me projecting past crises though hjkwfgh)

[lindajenni]

sep 8

familiar friday - letter to mum (a repeat daily)

sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. she said: "How is my little boy? is he going to be all right? when can i see him?"

the surgeon said, "i'm sorry. we did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."

sally said, "why do little children get cancer? doesn't God care anymore? where were you, God, when my son needed you?"

the surgeon asked, "would you like some time alone with your son? one of the nurses will be out in a few minutes before he's transported to the university."

sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to her son. she ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. sally nodded yes. the nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to sally. the mother said, "it was jimmy's idea to donate his body to the university for study. he said it might help somebody else. "i said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'mom, i won't be using it after i die. maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." she went on, "my jimmy had a heart of gold. always thinking of someone else. always wanting to help others if he could.

sally walked out of children's mercy hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. she put the bag with jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. the drive home was difficult. it was even harder to enter the empty house. she carried jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. she started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. she laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

it was around midnight when sally awoke. laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. the letter said:

dear mom, i know you're going to miss me; but don't think that i will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause i'm not around to say love you. i will always love you, mom, even more with each day. someday we will see each other again. until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. he can have my room and old stuff to play with. but, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. you'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.

don't be sad thinking about me. this really is a neat place. grandma and grandpa met me as soon as i got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. the angels are so cool. i love to watch them fly. and, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of His pictures. yet, when i saw Him, i knew it was Him.

Jesus Himself took me to see God! and guess what, mom? i got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like i was somebody important! that's when i told Him that i wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. but i already knew that wasn't allowed. well, you know what mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. i think gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'where was He when i needed him?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

oh, by the way, mom, no one else can see what i've written except you. to everyone else, this is just a blank piece of paper. isn't that cool? i have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the book of life. tonight i get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. i'm, sure the food will be great. oh, i almost forgot to tell you. i don't hurt anymore. the cancer is all gone. i'm glad because i couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. that's when He sent the angel of mercy to come get me. the Angel said i was a special delivery! how about that?

signed with love from: God, Jesus & me.

author unknown

you know, God is so much more than we think Him to be. more than our understanding can understand. and so we imagine little stories that we think can begin to express the love, compassion and mercy He feels for us. but we cannot even begin to scratch the surface of His goodness. He was gracious enough to let His goodness pass before moses in exodus 33. that was as much of His glory as moses could handle and still live. even the seraphim had extra wings to hide their face from His glory in isa 6:2.

i don't know all the if's, and's and but's of why things happen. is it the enemies' work or God's mercy? i only know, "every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. " james 1:17 but why in the life of some and not in other's? why did my older brother die at a young age while i survived much longer than i deserved? why will some live to see rapture and others not?

we must always strive against the devil and his works, but we must always trust we are in the Father's hand "and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand." john 10:29 the only question for us is: "do you believe that I am able to do this?" matt 9:28

righteousness, holiness - they just keep going over and over in my spirit. i know what we all deserve and that "all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags". isa 64:6 and yet still He urges us to seek His face - a face no man can see and live. "what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him?" psa 8:4 we are His children … God breathed His breath into us. that makes us special. He has made us special again in His gift of Jesus. He loves us that much. how much do we love Him, i ask? not nearly enough! MARANATHA!

[imabillyami]

What do you think of Jimmy getting hurt being the reason Jey challenged Roman?

Hi anon <3 Thanks for asking. I'll try to collect my thoughts on this the best I can! Fair warning this is probably gonna be rather long (after writing this, I can confirm that it is haha, sorry if I go off-topic a little at times).

Short answer: It fits in perfectly with Jey’s character.

Long answer under the cut:

First thing's first, for Jey this whole thing has always been about family. He’s loyal to a fault when it comes to his family and that still included Roman and Solo as well - up until the events that took place at Smackdown. Jey’s love has no boundaries - except when you come after Jimmy.

Nothing will ever be more important to Jey Uso than his twin. It's always been like that, even before the whole Bloodline thing started. He always went after everyone who tried to come for Jimmy.

I feel like this is mentioned a lot, but look at HIAC. He would’ve never said I quit (and Roman knew it), if it weren’t for Jimmy being in immediate danger. Jey wastes no thought on his own well-being and health as long as he can keep his twin brother (and others he loves) safe.

On Friday though, there was no way to save his twin. His biggest fear has always been Jimmy getting hurt / being on the receiving end of The Tribal Chief‘s wrath.

(Separating The Tribal Chief from Roman here, I'll get into that in a second. Jey loves and will always love Roman. But he hates the Tribal Chief and he's been trying his best to protect the people he loves from him and that includes Roman.)

I feel like they’re currently building a great angle.

The Tribal Chief made the grave mistake of making Jey’s worst nightmare/ biggest fear come true, the one thing Jey was desperately trying to protect Jimmy from. Now that it happened, Jey has nothing to fear anymore.

(Just think back to how he stepped in front of Jimmy and apologized to the Tribal Chief a couple of weeks back. He took the heat, so Jimmy would be safe. He's always done that. He only turned when there was no way to protect Jimmy from within The Bloodline anymore.)

Now that the one person Jey did all this for, the one person he would give his own life for, is out of the picture, hurt but in safe distance from The Tribal Chief, Jey has nothing to fear and nothing to lose. And that makes him impossibly more dangerous. We saw the first glimpses on Friday when he went after Solo and Roman all by himself. The way that he flung himself over that barricade and at Solo, the way that he dodged Roman and went to town on him and Solo with that chair, the judge, jury & executioner thing? I feel that's only the beginning.

Jey with no fear and nothing to lose, avenging his twin and the injustice done to his entire family? Oh boy... That's some good cinema right there.

Jimmy and Jey are already out of the family at this point, losing to the Chief wouldn’t change things on that front.

Roman made it perfectly clear that Jey is never gonna be Tribal Chief (not that he ever wanted to be, the only thing he wants is for all of them to be equals, provide for and make their family proud, Jey’s journey was never about being the head of the family, it was always about getting love and respect from his own family).

I feel like Roman intended to break Jey again, but it didn't go the way he'd planned (guess his wise man failed him, huh?). Cause instead of breaking Jey's spirit and getting him back to being a servant, he made Jey unhinged and brought out all the pent-up rage. Guess that backfired on him.

In regards to Roman:

I’m pretty much convinced that up until Friday Jey had every intention of saving Roman, seeing him and the Tribal Chief as two separate people (we saw it in the way he tried to comfort a kneeling Roman and if that doesn't proof that Jey Uso has the purest heart of anyone in this world idk what does). He was ready to put all the blame for The Tribal Chief's actions on Paul.

But after what Roman did to Jimmy, after what he had Solo do to his own brother, Jey had to realize that the Roman he knew and loved is no more, that these two people, his beloved cousin and this cruel abuser have blended into one and that he can't put that all on Paul Heyman.

So with Jimmy out, Solo ruthless and Roman beyond any point of saving, he really only has one thing in mind: Destroy the person who harmed his twin. This is all about revenge now. This is all about putting down The Tribal Chief/ his cousin/ his abuser for good.

And like I said, Jey has nothing left to lose. And I feel like that was a huge miscalculation on Roman’s part. He thought that by hurting Jimmy and taking him out of the picture, he could make Jey fall in line like he did before (it worked in 2020, so why not do it again?).

But Jey has grown so much as a character over the past 3 years, he saw others believe in him in ways his own family didn't (namely Sami and the audience), he’s finally opened his eyes to Roman’s abusive and manipulative ways and he’s come to realize that he’s the only one to stop him and finally put The Tribal Chief to rest.

It all started with Jey and he realized that it has to end with him.

(side note: I hope Jimmy enjoys his well-deserved time off lmao.)

Jey knows he can beat Roman. Roman knows he's not invincible. Jey proved that to him at MITB.

For Roman everything he's worked so hard for is barely hanging on by a thread. He's been pinned by Jey now, the mystique is gone, he's losing control.

These two are going to murder each other, it's gonna be a bloodbath and while I'm scared what it'll do to our hearts, I'm beyond excited.

Bonus:

Final thoughts on Sami and his involvement going forward, cause how could I not go on a rant about the love of my life when talking about Jey's journey? (Also my samijey heart would set itself on fire if I didn't).

I hope to see Sami get involved in some capacity at some point, but I doubt it'll happen. (I'm literally writing fic about why Sami wasn't there to save the twins on Friday as we speak. I need to cope.)

My guess is that they'll go down the "Jey is all alone in the world with no one to turn to and that's what makes him even more reckless and dangerous" route. I also believe that that's what might cost him the match in the end, but I hope they'll prove me wrong (That... or Solo. Solo is a complete wildcard to me at this point. But I'm interested in any and all theories.)

My heart is breaking a little at all the missed opportunities for backstage moments between Jey and Sami, whether it's Sami telling Jey he's proud of him/ or Sami acting as Jey's conscience and reminding him to look out for his own well-being a little/ or as a motivator, telling him he can do this and that he believes in him/ or even just silent comfort, exchanging glances that speak for themselves. I wish they would put these two on my screen together. But then it's WWE, so I'm not particularly surprised if they don't.

Wheeeew, this is so long. Sorry anon, I was very much in my feelings about this. I hope I answered your question somewhere? Thanks again for asking and have a wonderful morning/day/night wherever you are <3

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy Pt.1

Janis: Hey, whenever you have a moment I need to have a word, as it will affect you and Bob, potentially

Jimmy: [Not immediate because he’s probably at work or whatever but he’s also not leaving her on read for an age to the point that Bobby has beat her to it]

Jimmy: Go on

Janis: Alright, to cut to the chase here

Janis: I gave Libi a spare key to the flat I’m in, in case she needed it when she was in town and couldn’t get the bus, whatever

Janis: last night she decided she’d use it to throw a party for herself there though and we’ve been kicked out, the only feasible option for us now is the flat above the pub

Janis: which is a lot more public than any of us want, I’ve told her to warn Bobby because he told her it was a bad idea last night, I’ve ascertained from her drunken ramblings

Janis: obviously I wanted to tell you, though

Jimmy: Do you need owt to replace what’s been trashed? 

Janis: No, it’s fine, you keep that place furnished for you two, we’ll be able to beg borrow and steal what isn’t in there from the family

Janis: I’m sorry, it’s forced our hand but I don’t see an alternative

Jimmy: alright, let us know if there’s owt missing you’re still after

Janis: thanks, Jim

Janis: I dunno how much you’ve gathered but I really don’t think those two are getting on, I can’t think what to tell her that I already haven’t

Jimmy: I’ve gathered she’s not been here, just about

Janis: hard to miss getting harder, apparently

Jimmy: It’s her birthday [the day it is because he has not forgotten which breaks my heart actually bye]

Janis: hence the party

Janis: I guess she thought he might show, or be jealous enough of her having an ‘amazing’ time that he’d wanna do what they always do

Jimmy: I’ve gotta get her [some camera related amazing gift because he’s that bitch] to her

Janis: If you asked her ‘round, maybe?

Jimmy: if they’ve fell out, might be best not

Jimmy: cracking on as if I’ve set up a playdate for the pair of ‘em

Janis: alright, yeah, you might be right there

Janis: I just know Bob wouldn’t tell her to leave if you’d invited her but a bit sly

Jimmy: you’ll sort out her having it then, grab a plant for your windowsill or whatever while you’re here?

Janis: I already miss you

Janis: I’ll get her present, ‘course

Jimmy: You know you can stay here

Janis: no I can’t, that wouldn’t be fair at all

Jimmy: it’s your house an’ all

Janis: I appreciate you saying it

Janis: really difficult telling her off for doing something we would’ve definitely done to your dad, like

Jimmy: Bit different, couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke if it did to him, and the stash was right there asking to be nicked

Janis: she did pick a really stupid time to come for my lack of one but

Jimmy: She alright? other than her headache and hangxiety

Janis: you know, well as either of them is

Jimmy: you said it got out of hand, had to check it weren’t nowt like

Jimmy: you know

Janis: she’s alright, just upset but no worse for her first attempt at partying, nah

Jimmy: good

Janis: I was thinking

Janis: that we should probably talk to the school about Bobby needing a translator, they’d be able to employ one or tell us where we have to

Janis: for their exams, like

Jimmy: It’d be a shout, mates again or not

Janis: might be easier to be mates if they’re not forced together otherwise, was my thought

Jimmy: I’ll give the school a ring, have a word

Janis: If you want me to come with, if there’s a meeting

Janis: you don’t need me but I will

Jimmy: I don’t need to put you out, more like, enough on, you

Janis: I can make time, it’s important

Jimmy: Libi might want you there, depends how bad you told her off

Janis: She don’t want me anywhere, obviously

Janis: but do you wanna be there with my mum more

Jimmy: rather it were your fit nan, obviously

Janis: great 😏

Jimmy: never have to worry myself about getting a word in, would I?

Janis: must be why you like her

Jimmy: yeah, tell yourself it’s her personality, mate

Janis: horrible, that

Janis: can use it as a valid excuse to avoid her though so, cheers

Jimmy: 👍

Janis: sorry

Jimmy: Weren’t your party

Janis: wouldn’t be having one

Janis: only 14 once, suppose, not like both of ours weren’t totally shit or anything but you don’t need the play-by-play of her telling off

Jimmy: reckon I can hear you in my head and it’s a safe bet of how it went

Janis: does make me sound a bit traumatic

Jimmy: you’re just

Jimmy: and you should be fuming by rights, any road, has lost you your flat

Janis: I just didn’t want to do this yet, not to you and Bobby and not, you know

Jimmy: I know, but you can leave it out troubling your pretty head about us, we’ll be alright

Janis: swear

Jimmy: on what?

Janis: your favourite house plant or whatever

Jimmy: I’d have a job to have one at the minute, they’re all dead

Jimmy: didn’t fancy this being how I broke the news but

Janis: just gonna let me show up and pick up a potential survivor, fair play

Jimmy: if anybody could bring something back to life, be you

Jimmy: nowt you’ve not done before, that

Janis: you’re thinking of Jesus, easy mistake to make

Jimmy: same top hair, always got a stash on him, might be 

Jimmy: welcome round for a brew an’ all if he’s passing

Janis: gonna point it out to my non-fit nan next time I see her about

Janis: I’ll come get the [camera thing] when you’re in then?

Jimmy: Not been sacked yet, unless Libi fancies throwing herself a party nearer the day of, you know when I’ll be in

Janis: wouldn’t put it past her, be concerned if she’s trying to invite your colleagues but cross that bridge when we come to it

Janis: I’ll pop ‘round soon as I’ve sorted this flat then

Jimmy: alright

Janis: see you soon 

Jimmy: see you when I see you, girl

Jimmy: I dunno about it ever being soon enough 

Janis: I’ll come tonight

Jimmy: come when it suits you, you heard, not trying to put you to no bother, am I

Janis: I’d come right now if you weren’t at work as well

Jimmy: they’ve gotta give us a lunch break same as any other dickhead, don’t matter how hard you do or don’t work

Jimmy: when’s yours?

Janis: whenever yours is, I’m the dickhead that makes the rules here

Janis: was going to do [whenever you were]?

Jimmy: there you go then

Janis: 🙂

Jimmy: Oi, was about to say in a bit, but come on now, looks like I’m holding you hostage, that

Janis: it’s not my fault there’s no casual, in-between emojis 

Janis: its all 😁 or 😭

Jimmy: so give us 😁 or nowt

Janis: when I see you

Jimmy: won’t make you swear on no pot of soil, like

Jimmy: be me 😭 when the pair of us piss off back to work

Janis: won’t let that happen, even if I pull a sickie for you

Jimmy: steady on, I’ve no sickies left to take

Janis: no tears then, not even 😢

Jimmy: no promises

Janis: that might be for the best, I can’t either

Jimmy: chuffed if it’s [the time] before I start

Janis: I’ll make the first mug if you do, how's that for incentive?

Jimmy: it’ll do

Janis: I’ll bring [your fave biscuits], diva

Jimmy: tah, if they can drink half a brew, they’ll sort 😢 piss easy

Janis: tissues are for pussies, obviously, sooner rip my eyes out

Jimmy: politeness’ sake has us calling ‘em non northerners actually but

Janis: let me just 🙃 at you for that

Jimmy: whenever you fancy turning yourself upside down, that’s your prerogative

Janis: snapped my neck giving you side-eye, actually, mate

Jimmy: RIP, pissed on my lunch plans a bit there

Janis: nah, I’m well tough

Jimmy: Having a go at kids will make you feel well hard, what I’ve heard

Janis: Oi

Janis: she started it

Jimmy: and you made right sure you finished it 💪🏆🥇

Janis: I know, I’m a dickhead

Janis: but so is she, ask Bob, like

Jimmy: they’re coming up on 14, how old are we?

Janis: okay but I can’t just let her throw parties and get me evicted, can I

Jimmy: I never said that

Janis: what would you have done though

Jimmy: weren’t in your position, how would I have the first clue?

Janis: maybe I need your help, dealing with her

Jimmy: do you?

Janis: She’s got mum, everyone else

Janis: but she’s had us around, for as long as she can remember, she’s having trouble not no more

Jimmy: I dunno what I can say, but I’ll try having a word with her

Janis: just letting her know you still give a shit will be a big thing for her, promise

Janis: you don’t have to have her ‘round all the time or anything

Jimmy: what, so she thinks I don’t

Janis: you know how a month can feel like forever at their age

Janis: she’ll really love her present too though, that’ll help

Jimmy: at any, but that ain’t no excuse I should’ve 

Janis: she’s not blaming you

Janis: it’s not like you’ve been off having an amazing time instead

Jimmy: all the more reason, none of us have

Janis: you can, you two can have the relationship you had before

Janis: I might never get to tell Bobby I still give a shit, not without pissing him off by saying it, anyway

Jimmy: can we?

Janis: you haven’t done anything wrong, not to her

Jimmy: I’m not who I were before

Jimmy: I’m barely

Jimmy: I don’t have sod all to give her, only the [camera thingy]

Janis: let her be around you, help you out

Janis: it’s all she wants 

Jimmy: like this I don’t want it, she shouldn’t, nor our kid

Janis: alright, it’s just

Janis: I dunno

Jimmy: it’s 

Jimmy: I can’t do it

Janis: it’s okay, I shouldn’t have asked

Jimmy: no, you should, and I should be able to

Janis: I can’t no better than you, I told you

Janis: she’s not alone, she has plenty of support

Jimmy: but he don’t, it’s just us

Jimmy: and I know I

Jimmy: I’m fucking it up, him up

Janis: we can do something, even if its 1% better than we have been doing, yeah?

Jimmy: Sound like my boss giving us a performance review

Janis: know you give 110% don’t lie

Jimmy: used to, when I had it

Janis: you’re talking, and upright

Janis: it’s not nothing, for none of us

Jimmy: bit more to my proper day job description

Janis: oh I know, and you’re fucking good at it

Janis: and you’ve always been a good brother to Bob

Jimmy: 50% ain’t good enough neither

Janis: nobodys perfect, right

Jimmy: I dunno about that

Janis: I do

Jimmy: you would be the one who does

Janis: you’re still so nice to me

Jimmy: I still love you

Janis: but I hurt you so much, will keep hurting you

Jimmy: I hurt you an’ all and I’ve not sorted nowt that’d put a stop to it yet

Janis: I still love you too, they just make me feel guilty for it, like what I need to do is let you hate me

Jimmy: You heard, I can’t hate you, Jules

Jimmy: that ain’t changed, it’ll not, only keep on being as true as when I first said it

Janis: none of them understand it, it isn’t them, its us

Jimmy: haven’t I always got you? we get there, in the end, don’t we?

Janis: it’ll never be how it was, we can’t go back but we can’t stay here forever neither

Jimmy: tell me how you want it to be

Janis: what if I don’t know

Janis: I thought I did 

Jimmy: same, I really thought I did

Janis: just, you don’t hate me, I don’t hate you, we’ll get there in the end, like you said

Jimmy: we’re already there

Janis: don’t start talking to me like a stranger again, I fucking hated that

Jimmy: I’m sorry

Janis: me too, really fucking sorry

Jimmy: me an’ all

Janis: we’re dickheads, that’s what we sound like

Jimmy: How don’t you reckon I sound like a stranger here, you know I hate that bloody word

Janis: ‘cos it’s real and proper grown up, not saying it ‘cos I got aggro at you at a party or ignored you at school

Janis: s’different

Jimmy: wouldn’t know what to do with myself at a party now, I get them divorce ones are all the rage and that, but let’s not

Janis: don’t put my severed head made out of fondant on no cake, be disgusting and I’d have to 😭

Jimmy: I’d have to eat it and that there is the start of letting my figure go, can’t have that

Janis: never you

Jimmy: could invite Gracie round for some old school emotional eating but you’d hate that as well as

Janis: please please please do not 

Janis: you’d owe me a massive soz, might be too big to deliver on

Jimmy: far as getting my own back, I’d rather be a mate, never were my type, her

Janis: she’d ruin your life, not just saying that as a bitter ex that can’t move on, saying it as her sister

Jimmy: weight line’s one thing

Jimmy: leave it to you and only you to ruin my life

Janis: I know I’m a hypocrite, even if everyone stopped reminding us for 5 minutes, I know it in my bones

Jimmy: I know who you are in mine

Janis: I know you

Jimmy: yeah, you do

Jimmy: never be strangers, don’t matter how I chat

Janis: can’t delete the pictures and me at the same time

Jimmy: no I can’t, they’re all still where they were, and you

Janis: I know

Jimmy: for all the difference I know it don’t make

Janis: it matters to me

Jimmy: only fair as you can’t fetch your tattoos off easy

Janis: I never wanted rid of you

Janis: if it was that easy it’d be that easy

Jimmy: You wanted

Jimmy: something it’s well hard for me to say

Janis: don’t, you don’t need to

Jimmy: do I not?

Jimmy: be his name in everybody else’s mouth in a bit, won’t it?

Janis: who cares what this town has to say

Jimmy: I have to live here, we all have to

Janis: do we?

Jimmy: can’t leave Libi, and your mum might have something to say about taking her with us

Janis: yeah

Jimmy: they’ve exams, you said it

Janis: ignore me

Jimmy: I remember what it’s like, new school at the worse time any dickhead could’ve picked, near enough

Janis: I remember what it’s like being chatted about this much an’ all

Jimmy: and a different kind of dickhead would say you probably should’ve thought about that if you’re so bothered, but it’s not the sort I am

Janis: for them, for you, not myself, Christ

Janis: he’s deaf but there’s plenty of ways to communicate when they fancy being those cunts

Jimmy: she don’t even have that, which is why I meant about them

Janis: she doesn’t care, she’s heard worse about pick a family member, just my turn to be the embarrassment 

Jimmy: ‘course she will, you’re hardly any old family member to her, and she’s not made of stone neither

Janis: don’t

Jimmy: we didn’t want her to be, we wanted them both to be more sorted than that, have a less fucked head on their shoulders

Janis: I think we were wrong

Janis: and it’s too late to sort none of it

Jimmy: about loads we might’ve been, but not that, she’s right to be the kind of kid we weren’t, to feel things how people are meant to, express it

Janis: I wanna believe that, that we did right by them but I can’t when they’re both on the brink of their own kind of breakdowns

Jimmy: that’s ‘cause we didn’t do it right enough, no dickhead would argue different now

Janis: they’re too soft, it’s terrifying

Jimmy: kids are supposed to be, trust us, worse when they ain’t

Janis: I can’t do it

Jimmy: too late, you had that spot on

Janis: are you going to come to the scan

Jimmy: What kind of question is that?

Janis: I even missed you saying that, like

Jimmy: When is it?

Janis: have to book it in, end of March, start of April

Jimmy: soon as that

Janis: yeah, I know

Janis: that is when loads of people first clock it, usually, be why it feels like that

Jimmy: How are you?

Janis: oh, you know

Janis: mostly alright, been a bit sick so you’re glad you missed that

Janis: how are you?

Jimmy: I don’t know how to answer that

Janis: you don’t have to, not if it makes you feel worse or not want me over for a cuppa

Jimmy: I don’t feel nowt

Jimmy: that’s probably a problem in itself

Janis: its a coping strategy, nothing wrong with it until you want different and better

Jimmy: it’s like an old mate 

Jimmy: 👻

Janis: I know, it’s still default for me too

Jimmy: Day in and day out our kid sees us like this

Janis: please think of a way I can help so I can

Jimmy: I can’t, there isn’t

Janis: just

Jimmy: he’ll not go, I’ve tried, I keep on and on trying

Janis: he’s only doing what he thinks is right, what I would

Jimmy: but it’s wrong

Janis: something will give, it has to, right

Jimmy: me, it’ll kill us, this

Janis: don’t you dare

Jimmy: it’s everything I never wanted, happening

Janis: Jimmy

Jimmy: I have to stop it, and if that’s the only way I’ve got then it is and I’ll 

Janis: no you fucking won’t

Janis: I’ll make you take me back first

Jimmy: I were so set on not becoming Ian I’ve become my fucking mum instead of

Jimmy: it’s as bad

Janis: no, no, you haven’t, he just loves you

Jimmy: I’m not here, I can’t love him proper

Jimmy: and he’ll be raising himself, same as I had to, looking after me, same I had to my bloody parents

Janis: I will come ‘round every day and slap you

Janis: we’ll pretend, enough to convince him, like he’s still a kid like you said he is

Jimmy: every day ‘til he’s 18, will you?

Jimmy: don’t make promises you can’t keep, mate

Janis: yes I will

Jimmy: leave it out

Janis: no, you asked for it

Janis: don’t blame us when your face is wonky

Jimmy: if that shit worked I’d put the kettle on for my dad and Case both

Janis: let me help you

Janis: I know I lost that place but if you let me, I can do it

Janis: we’re having a baby, we have to see each other every day anyway

Jimmy: You’re having a baby, jury’s still out on if it’s with me

Janis: do you want it to be yours

Jimmy: it don’t make no difference, wanting or not wanting owt

Janis: it could

Jimmy: it’ll be mine or it won’t

Janis: alright

Jimmy: either way I’m not chuffed to bits, gain a kid and lose a missus or end up with neither

Janis: I want you in my life, I want to be in yours

Jimmy: how?

Janis: I told you I don’t know but I’m willing to work it out with you

Jimmy: You shouldn’t be willing to do nowt except piss off out of it, I told you I’m barely hanging on here

Jimmy: I can’t be a dad, look at the state of us as a big brother

Janis: yes you can, with me, you can

Janis: didn’t you say we did a good job with them, it doesn’t have to be over like that

Jimmy: I’m not with you, you’re with him

Janis: not if its ours, we’ll always be its parents

Jimmy: not together, you can’t watch me all the time

Janis: can, if that’s how you want it

Janis: not see the baby without me too

Jimmy: I’ll fuck it up else

Janis: I trust you but you trust me

Janis: I won’t let anything happen

Jimmy: I don’t want it, I don’t wanna do this 

Janis: you’re not dying

Jimmy: or living

Janis: just stay alive for me, I’ll do anything you want

Jimmy: I don’t know how to, not now

Janis: We can do this

Jimmy: I’ve done it before for our kid, Case and you and look where it’s put all of us, but here you are asking me to do it for this kid like that’ll go any different other than worse, when bollocks will it, ‘cause there’s more to fuck up and it’ll be all my fault, no Ian or Debbie to chuck no blame on, just 

Janis: alright, you don’t want a baby

Jimmy: it’s not alright

Janis: I want you more than I want a kid

Jimmy: stop it, I can’t live with myself for none of that, don’t you get that, even a half life how I am at the minute

Janis: then we say its his, whatever

Janis: I’m not going to force you to do something you can’t 

Jimmy: The baby’s not the half of it, is it?

Jimmy: everything I try and grab hold of falls apart, Janis, everything

Janis: if you can’t make it I can’t

Jimmy: they’d all be better off if I let go

Jimmy: you would more than anyone, you’re chatting bollocks if you try and tell us owt else

Janis: fuck you, I’d die, I will die

Jimmy: but you wouldn’t, you’d keep on for this baby and Case and Libi and everybody else

Janis: nothing without you

Jimmy: this is the nothing, I am

Janis: I love you and I’ll love you ‘til it fucking works again

Jimmy: you can’t, it won’t work again

Janis: you won’t let me try

Janis: you felt it, you can’t say you didn’t

Jimmy: it never worked

Janis: you’re a liar

Jimmy: if something weren’t missing you wouldn’t have had to go looking for it how and where you did

Janis: because you left me, that wasn’t how it was before, not always

Janis: you can’t say that

Jimmy: I can say I weren’t good enough for you back then and I definitely ain’t now

Janis: don’t be stupid, I’m the one who’s fucked you over the worst

Janis: we’re as bad as each other

Jimmy: no

Janis: I’m worse

Jimmy: you heard, everything I touch, it’s my fault

Janis: it’s mine

Jimmy: I left you, you said it

Janis: I let you, I stopped being good enough, enough 

Jimmy: ‘cause you wanted to be with him, so go be with him and leave me to it

Janis: no

Jimmy: [not him not replying, thank god you’re at work so we know you’re not dead]

Janis: [don’t think that’s going to stop us blowing up your phone because we’re scared]

Jimmy: [me like, SIR you can’t just dip at a moment like this]

Janis: [like if you don’t answer we will be showing up at the gaff]

Jimmy: [showing up to his OFFICE, this is not a game, sweetie]

Janis: [mhmm, that’ll only be more drama boy, think it through]

Jimmy: [feel free to scream at me though as if I’m Winnie, if it’ll help you get your hysterical emotions about all of this out]

Janis: [okay, just assume we’re also phoning you and being a general nuisance]

Janis: Jimmy, please

Janis: answer me, just talk to me

Janis: I need you, come on, I want you

Janis: you’re scaring me, don’t do this

Janis: I love you so much

Jimmy: There’s no more to say, there just isn’t

Janis: just tell me you aren’t going to hurt yourself

Jimmy: I’m at work, you know that

Janis: after work

Janis: ever

Jimmy: after work I don’t know what I’m doing

Janis: if you won’t swear, I’ll move back in, like it or not

Jimmy: alright, I’ll swear

Janis: on Bobby

Janis: you can’t lie

Jimmy: no, not on him

Janis: then I’m not leaving you alone

Jimmy: You being my nurse has taken a turn

Janis: it could’ve been fun but you have ruined it a bit, yeah

Jimmy: what I do is that, my dear

Janis: shh, nil by mouth can mean coming out as well as going in if you don’t start behaving

Jimmy: 👍

Janis: not forgotten sign either

Janis: don’t think you can escape me, boy

Jimmy: you’ve reminded us there’s no escape, girl, you’re alright

Janis: you told us we can’t move, you can’t die

Janis: that was a promise long before we signed any paperwork

Jimmy: What's that one meant to be worth if the rest are broke?

Janis: everything

Janis: you can’t leave me, or Libi, or Bobby or him

Jimmy: I’m doing you a favour

Janis: bollocks

Janis: yourself one but that’s alright, life is shit

Janis: still aren’t allowed but I get the urge as well

Jimmy: ask him if he’d not rather I were out the way

Janis: he feels the same about you as you do him

Janis: fucking ‘it’s complicated’

Jimmy: bollocks

Jimmy: and give Bob some years and there’ll be sod all complicated about how he feels for us neither

Janis: the kid adores you

Jimmy: Case used to an’ all

Janis: do you remember when he first hit you?

Jimmy: ‘Course I do, Debbie did one and he were going off his head about it, there were nowt I could say, same as there’s not now

Janis: it weren’t that, he said he felt like you looked at him different after that

Jimmy: hard to look at someone at all when you can see it all mapped out for them fucked

Janis: yeah but you can see now you ain’t a kid too

Janis: self-fulfilling prophecy 101

Jimmy: I see how bad I let him down, yeah, no easier to look him in the eye

Janis: now you’re even can’t you talk

Janis: he’s screwed you over and up too

Jimmy: How the fuck are we even?

Jimmy: you’ve no idea the score you’re keeping from when or for what, nor do I

Janis: just telling you how he feels

Janis: well, naturally he feels like he did worse but that’s what you’re like so knock some points off

Jimmy: if this is supposed to give us something to live for, don’t give your day job up

Janis: you made it suicide watch

Janis: I could’ve but you didn’t answer, dickhead

Jimmy: don’t dickhead me when you’re being the dickhead

Janis: you are, we was gonna have a lovely time

Jimmy: you

Jimmy: you can’t leave nowt alone and you don’t listen

Janis: hmm, true but the latter is rude, I reckon

Jimmy: just give me a fucking break, alright?

Jimmy: fuck’s sake

Janis: you can’t say you’re gonna off yourself and then stop fucking communicating, you twat

Janis: just say you won’t and fine, I’ll leave you alone

Janis: otherwise it’s just a fucking note and I’m here having a heart attack, you selfish prick

Jimmy: I’m tired

Jimmy: but I won’t, okay, if it means you’ll piss off

Janis: fine

Jimmy: good

Jimmy: [a pause before I shamelessly come back]

Jimmy: I don’t want you to piss off nowhere

Jimmy: don’t

Janis: I didn’t mean to go on, I was just trying to keep you talking to me

Jimmy: we need to talk

Janis: yeah, even when its shit

Janis: you can ask us for breaks though, I’ll try not to flip my shit

Jimmy: I can’t let on to Bobby, to nobody 

Jimmy: but I

Jimmy: shouldn’t have just keep on and on like that

Janis: he has all this hope, to see you better, of course you don’t want to scare him, he’s not old enough for that

Janis: please tell me though, even if it turns out I’ve got no better idea than you do; two fucked heads better than one??

Jimmy: I dunno how to tell you either that I don’t reckon I’ll ever get better 

Janis: it’s okay, I can’t make this shit about me

Janis: do you feel like you never got no better, or that you’ve backslid?

Jimmy: sometimes the one, sometimes the other

Janis: right now, I don’t reckon you can be objective

Janis: we’ve all lost it

Jimmy: I’ve lost everything is how it feels

Janis: yeah, I bet it does

Janis: it’s not the same for me and I ain’t gonna say it but it’s still a massive loss, Libs has said the same, I know

Jimmy: What are we gonna do?

Janis: we have to find a way to stop breaking each other’s hearts

Janis: to still all look after each other, enough that we’re all alright enough

Jimmy: Will you come down the school with us, for a start?

Janis: definitely

Janis: and you’re gonna talk to Libi, for me, right?

Jimmy: okay, right you are

Janis: its more of a plan than we had

Jimmy: What’s the plan for her birthday?

Janis: I am sort of worried Bobby ain’t gonna want to do their usual, can’t exactly force him but maybe we could do something with her, even just the afternoon

Janis: I dunno, what do you think?

Jimmy: I don’t fancy giving either of them false hope or owt like that but we should do something, birthdays are massive for her

Janis: I mean I’m the cunt for suggesting it when it takes me out of the villain role but it might get the idea of you needing to hate me out their head if we show we can get along and it’s not fucking-

Janis: but maybe that’s running before we can walk

Jimmy: I can run for a night, if that’s what she needs me to do

Janis: if you decide you do need to hate me, they’re vindicated anyway

Jimmy: shut up, I decided to love you ages ago

Janis: I think she does need it, seriously, not just doing this for myself

Janis: and I’m hoping Bobby will see he can let her in a bit again too, follow your lead like he likes to

Jimmy: I’ve had a look at her stories, reckon you’re not wrong

Janis: yeah, I haven’t made it any better for her yet so I need your help to sort my act out

Jimmy: never seen her so

Janis: she was so drunk but also like a baby, it weren’t nice

Jimmy: and dressed like one, as if you needed the added visual

Janis: oh and Asia’s sister is her new best friend and she’s as fucked up as the aforementioned so that’s fabulous

Jimmy: fuck that, I’m not tucking myself in with that red flag, don’t care how knackered I am

Janis: couldn’t point out how much of a fuck no that was at the time but 

Janis: rather our two were back on speaking terms so that doesn’t turn into the new obsession

Jimmy: we’ll take her out to [somewhere she likes] drag him kicking and waving if we have to

Janis: just readying myself to deal with how aggressively he’s gonna ignore me

Janis: haven’t been there in ages

Jimmy: I’ll ready myself for it being the baby when they ain’t one no more and we’re doing all this again

Janis: you know I wish I weren’t pregnant, that I hadn’t done that to us

Jimmy: but you are and we did do it, me an’ all

Janis: yeah, and it’s stuck 

Janis: whatever you decide, I support you

Jimmy: oi, you’re the lass and you’ve nicked what’s meant to be my line

Janis: oops, just felt appropriate

Jimmy: shit happens, mate, neither of us need telling

Janis: can’t make all the should’ve would’ve could’ves a bedtime story, you won’t feel 🥱 more 😒

Jimmy: I don’t fancy fighting with you no more than I ever have done

Janis: I don’t wanna either, we’re better when we don’t

Jimmy: old enough to know better and too young to turn into my fucking dad, like

Janis: not today, not ever

Janis: you care too much about us lot, even if you reckon some stupid bollocks about us being better off

Jimmy: it’s right, my parents at least did that much, backing off and pissing off

Janis: it’s not but, don’t wanna nag

Janis: anyway, all else aside, practicalities, Ian ain’t dead and where would Bobby end up if you pissed off, I know you’re not so in your head you think that’s a top idea

Jimmy: not there, I’d kill him before myself if it came to it

Janis: here was me thinking I was special

Janis: gonna murder suicide with that knobhead

Jimmy: you started it, I thought I were Romeo, but the whole time it were you ‘cause you couldn’t not be a bit of a slag about it

Janis: I know

Janis: if anyone else asks I’ll say it’s genetic, I reckon

Jimmy: pissed on the only name I could be bothered remembering, tah for that

Janis: pissed on it all, but I can’t let it go

Jimmy: except my grave ‘cause you’ll not let us get in it, you dickhead

Janis: sorry I still love you

Jimmy: so you should be

Janis: and I’m a bit of a slag

Janis: and I won’t let you go

Jimmy: could be having a lovely lie down

Janis: if you go home for lunch, promise not to turn up like a stalker

Jimmy: Suppose there’s no need if I’m seeing Libs on the day

Janis: you’d rather a nap and I don’t trust myself

Jimmy: I’d rather you were here 

Janis: I know what I’ll do and what you’ll do and that we’ll both be worse off for it

Jimmy: would we?

Janis: I’ll kiss you, you’ll turn me down and break my heart and then feel like shit for it

Janis: and I have to fucking stop

Jimmy: you dunno what I’d do if that’s what you reckon

Janis: I can’t be this person, it’s enough

Janis: what the fuck is wrong with me, Jimmy?

Jimmy: you’re just

Janis: you don’t have to diagnose me, tall ask on any day

Janis: I can do it, I can see you but today, I know I will, I can feel it

Jimmy: you’re just a person, you

Jimmy: there’s nowt wrong with who that is

Janis: thanks, you’re just as sane as I am, like

Jimmy: charming

Janis: maybe I shouldn’t have said, I didn’t want to lie about it

Jimmy: I don’t want you to lie to me

Janis: no more, that once was enough

Jimmy: it were, can’t lie myself

Janis: and the last thing I want is for it to feel like I’m repeating a mistake, making a fucking pattern, that’s not what you deserve

Jimmy: alright, but

Janis: I’d love to shut myself in a convent right now

Jimmy: What if I don’t care about none of it and I just want you to kiss me?

Janis: but

Janis: you do care

Jimmy: right now I’m only bothered about that

Janis: we’ll fuck each other up, some more

Jimmy: there’s no more you can 

Janis: just kissing, no false hope or

Jimmy: I’ve got no hope, real or fake

Janis: I hate that so much

Jimmy: owt else is a lie though

Janis: yeah, no lying

Jimmy: come here and we’ll be honest with each other

Janis: fuck

Jimmy: if it ruins everything we’re only back where we were

Janis: I’m still scared

Jimmy: we’ll be scared together an’ all then

Janis: okay

Jimmy: okay

Janis: I’m allowed to cry too, yeah

Jimmy: I’ve said, I’ll be

Janis: I haven’t seen your face in so long

Jimmy: I’ve not stopped seeing yours

Janis: put you off that, how red and puffy I’ll be

Jimmy: nowt would, not off you

Janis: I’m scared that’s true and that makes me bad

Jimmy: I’m meant to love you, bad and the good

Janis: I have to see you

Jimmy: you never have to be scared of us

Janis: I’m scared of hurting everyone more

Jimmy: Him

Janis: and you, them

Jimmy: who’s telling them? and we’ve been over how you can’t hurt me no more, I ain’t thick, I can manage to work out who it leaves

Janis: I think it will though, one way or another, hurt you and him and me but

Jimmy: but nowt

Jimmy: then don’t come

Janis: you say that like it hadn’t occurred to you how fucked of an idea it was, I never said it weren’t

Jimmy: you heard, I said I don’t care

Jimmy: I need you here

Janis: then I’m coming

Jimmy: 💡🥉

Jimmy: not been long enough since our last one of them

Janis: well you don’t care and I can worry about it later, be fine

Jimmy: fine’s what you tell your co-workers when they keep going on about how your weekend were

Janis: won’t be telling anyone, as you pointed out

Jimmy: Libi’d only shout this from the rooftops an’ all, I care a bit she’s up no great heights if she’s gonna take after you as a lightweight and a pisshead

Janis: shut up she gets none of that from me, was exactly like Gracie if anyone, crying and going on

Jimmy: awkward, that, she’s only gone and got you pair muddled up

Janis: send her to her place next time she wants to be a twat, let her do some mothering, yeah

Jimmy: what dickhead wouldn’t be cheered by a blowout, tan and some french tips??! dunno how lucky she is

Janis: did say, she wasn’t 😁 to hear it

Jimmy: kids today, right pisstake

Janis: post some more stories maybe you’ll calm down, like

Jimmy: when I have a word I’ll have another about sorting out her angles and good lighting, how am I supposed to have the first bloody clue who anybody is?

Janis: you would have pointers

Jimmy: if she’s gonna let standards slip that far, can’t be sending no knobhead’s parents a strongly worded email

Janis: sure Asia’s mum would LOVE to hear from you

Jimmy: never did follow up on the one I sent her re invisalign but this one could be a real goer

Janis: fair think she needs half her teeth out to sort that issue

Jimmy: bit of strong anaesthetic sort loads of issues

Janis: bit rapey but

Janis: she is grating when she’s awake

Jimmy: what’s the quote, horses are dying, Kim, something like that, have to ask Gracie

Janis: ‘cos you’re taking their tranqs and giving it to bitches like her

Janis: explain away the nose job she inevitably gets when she’s bored of the filler and looking like a pillow

Jimmy: be Libs who’s the new expert on k holes and all that any road

Janis: for fuck sake, I’m not holding her through no comedown

Jimmy: I would but it might be a bit weird now, newly single bloke, teenage lightweight pisshead

Janis: ‘cos you’ve decided your next move is to be a nonce?

Jimmy: looks like a move some dickhead who’s swapping emails with Lucas would pull, that’s all

Jimmy: and it might matter we’re not related how it never did before

Janis: you can say that’s my fault

Jimmy: it’s my fault as much

Jimmy: more

Janis: it really ain’t, not that part

Jimmy: Takes two not to piss a relationship up the wall, what I’ve heard

Janis: yeah but you think I should’ve treated him like you treat Libi

Jimmy: or I should’ve not treated him like he were Bob’s age, I dunno no more

Janis: let’s assume neither of us were in the right, probably true

Jimmy: sorted

Janis: you’re not a paedo, you can take that one to heart, alright

Jimmy: tah very much

Janis: know what the inside of your heads like

Jimmy: I’d love to offer you the same reassurance back for the sake of yours but we’re on shakier ground there, aren’t we?

Janis: I don’t know what to say to that

Jimmy: nor do I, I’m alright without the details either way, I reckon

Janis: if it ain’t helpful, then it’s just a dickhead move

Jimmy: yeah

Janis: not that I’m known for making no other moves

Jimmy: Have your moments, you

Jimmy: owt else’d be a lie still

Janis: one day you’re gonna forget

Janis: I dunno what I’m gonna do then

Jimmy: that day’s not coming, whether you do ‘round or you don’t

Janis: I want to, you want me to

Jimmy: kettle’s never off

Janis: learned from the best, didn’t he

Jimmy: I wouldn’t go that far

Janis: well I’m glad it’ll be you in charge of the boiling water and not him when I come ‘round

Jimmy: me an’ all, even less capable of living with myself if something happened to your face, such a money maker if nowt else

Janis: you’re reckoning on taking half, are you

Jimmy: am owed it, girl

Janis: charming, you’re inviting me over to serve me papers, aren’t you

Jimmy: you wish, my dear

Janis: I don’t, thinking about any of that makes me feel sick

Janis: and I will

Jimmy: Don’t

Janis: that your pregnancy advice?

Janis: pretty solid

Jimmy: my advice’d be you’d be a dickhead to take any off me

Janis: not what I thought you were gonna say

Jimmy: had to, you start, you’ll set us off

Janis: I have met you

Jimmy: a few times

Janis: 🤏

Jimmy: let Libs do the honours and leave it at that

Janis: alright, I promise, you massive baby

Jimmy: you best not be massive with it, sod what I’ve said, would put me right off, that

Janis: I ain’t, piss off

Jimmy: Am on a clock that’s nowt to do with you, suppose

Jimmy: should probably get some work done

Janis: likewise

Jimmy: in a bit

Janis: in a bit

[oscars-dumbass-central]

Chapter Three: he runs his fingers through my hair

Martyn's ribs felt like they were about to break from the tightness of the hug he was currently trapped in.

Words: 1138

Martyn couldn’t breathe. 

He was trapped in a rib-crackingly tight hug as he scrambled, nails scratching against the arms of someone who he still couldn’t see. “Let go!” He managed to push an arm off and stumbled away, gasping for air. “What the hels—” he cut himself off when he saw who it was. “You’re alive?” 

Jimmy was smiling so brightly that it almost caused Martyn to squint. “I thought you were dead! I- you’re alive!” Before he could pull him back into the squeeze of a hug, Martyn looped his arm around his neck and pulled him down. 

“God, you asshole! I thought you were dead for fucking years!” He laughed as he ruffled Jimmy’s hair roughly. 

The two of them were tangled together as Jimmy half-heartedly pushed Martyn away from him when they were interrupted by Doc’s rough voice: “You guys know each other?” Martyn immediately released Jimmy who hit the ground with a heavy thud. 

“Yeah, we ran in the same circles a while back,” Martyn shrugged as Jimmy flipped him off from the floor. “Had a crew we were with for ages.” 

“Got scattered, thought everyone was dead,” Jimmy followed up as he pushed himself to his feet and wrapped a lanky arm around Martyn’s shoulders. “Still can’t believe you’re here!” He gently bumped his forehead against Martyn’s face as his bright yellow wings half-wrapped around him. 

“We could’ve found that out without you two assaulting each other,” Doc grumbled as he lugged the crates into the shop and began unpacking them. “You two help me unpack these and try not to destroy anything… again,” he added with a quiet glare towards Martyn. 

“Dude, what did you do?” 

“Shut up.” 

.

“What happened to your hair?” Jimmy asked and he could almost hear the concerned chirping he was almost doing, he was fiddling with his hands as if he was trying to stop himself from rushing over to Martyn and inspecting every part of him. 

Shrugging, Jimmy grabbed a bottle of bourbon out of a small crate. “Haven’t been brushing it, want a drink?” He pulled a chipped porcelain cup out of the crate and poured himself a probably too-big glass. 

“I’m good,” Jimmy glanced between the bottle and Martyn awkwardly. “Can– can I brush your hair?” 

That made Martyn pause, glancing up from his cup. “Sure, I guess, just let me finish this first,” he raised the cup and downed the rest of the bourbon in a couple short gulps which stung and burnt and tasted so fucking horrid. Instantly after he placed the cup down with a gentle clink, Jimmy was pulling Martyn down to the ground and wrapping his bright yellow wings around them. 

His hands deftly ran through Martyn’s hair, untangling the knots and heavy matting. “When was the last time you brushed your hair?” His voice was quiet and completely void of the judgement that he was expecting. 

“I don’t know?” Martyn shrugged, focusing on the gentle feeling of hands through his hair and the warmth ebbing off of Jimmy’s wings loosely wrapped around the two of them. “Didn’t really bother brushing my hair for a while and then… I lost him.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jimmy continued to pick at bits of Martyn’s hair and made a gentle cornered hum. 

“What’s wrong with it?” 

“Don’t think I can brush this out,” he tapped his fingers against his collarbone as he thought, “Think I’m gonna have to cut it all off.” 

Shrugging, Martyn leant his head against Jimmy’s chest so could look at him, “It’s hair, it regrows, and won’t be the stupidest thing you’ve done to my hair,” he patted Jimmy’s cheek gently. 

“Not my fault that neon orange isn’t your colour!” 

“Is your fault for suggesting it!” Martyn laughed and Jimmy unceremoniously shoved him off his lap and onto the floor. “Rude!” 

“I’ve gotta go get the shaver-thingy — forgot what it’s called — from Zed,” Jimmy rolled his eyes, “Be back in five, ten tops.” 

“Don’t die!” Martyn called out as he left the shop. 

“I make no promises!” Jimmy called back. 

.

True to his word Jimmy was back within a couple minutes, with the clippers with him. “So you sure with me doing this?” He paused as he plugged the clippers in, gesturing to Martyn’s matted and tangled mess of hair. 

“Dude, not much we can do with it like this,” Martyn shrugged. “Just get rid of it so we can get over this.” 

“Okay,” Jimmy sighed and sat cross legged on the floor, with Martyn in his lap, his wings wrapped loosely around them both for warmth. It was quiet and gentle and so domestic, something that Martyn hadn’t felt in fucking years, even when he was with his liege. 

God he loved him. 

“You got these from Zedaph right?” He asked and was answered by a gentle mumble which was probably affirmative. “So you and him are looking for the same people?” 

“Yeah,” Jimmy spoke so quietly that his voice was nearly drowned out by the buzz of the clippers. “Well, I’m only looking for one — Tango,” he said their name as if it was the most delicate word in the entire universe and saying it wrong would break it apart. “He’s… void he’s just the best. He’s one of Zed’s husbands, Impulse is Zed’s other husband, and also Tango’s husband. They call themselves Team ZIT, it’s adorable.” 

Pausing Martyn thought for a moment, he could’ve sworn that he knew someone who mentioned them once or twice. It was probably nothing though. “If I was in your situation I bet I could’ve started dating the other two by now.” 

“I am the one holding the fate of your haircut in my hands right now.” 

“I’m interested in how you make a buzz cut look bad now.” 

“I— shut up, dumbass,” Jimmy grumbled as he switched off the clippers and placed them to the side. 

“No,” Martyn smiled and contorted himself to kiss the underside of Jimmy’s jaw gently. “I’ve missed you,” he spoke softly, his hand resting against Jimmy’s face. 

“I’ve missed you too,” he nuzzled in closer to his hand and pulled Martyn up so he was sitting in his lap. “I still can’t believe you’re here, feels like a dream,” he traced a hand over Martyn’s jaw, his stubble rough from a few too many days since his last shave. 

Martyn smirked, leaning in so there was hardly a gap between the two of them, “If this was a dream then I think one of us would’ve been shirtless by now,” his breath was warm against Jimmy’s ears making the man’s wings twitch slightly. 

“I think we can amend that,” Jimmy leant down and placed a gentle kiss on Martyn’s neck as he moved a hand down to rest on his hip. 

“I think we can.” 

[gallavich-headcanon]

I think MW3 is in planning! I think it has to do with getting Shepherd? -> I am so sorry but I have no idea who Shepherd is, but they do have a great name for a dog. Sorry.

A thought that popped in my head- In one of those clips you linked, Ghost is being introduced and Ghost and Soap starts saying "actually he prefers..." and Ghost cuts him off, "That'll do." Any clue what's that about? Does he actually go by anything else or was Soap just being a dickhead?

Also I have to ask K, how did you discover this amazing lore?

"being stronger when they get back together" -> 1000%. They are so much more for each other now. They are partners in every way possible.

Prior to the military, Ian had so much to talk about - but it was mainly about his family -> Fuck. That one went straight through my heart. I think maybe after a long long time, Mickey gets Ian to talk about his family sometimes. It would happen super rarely but Mickey doesn't want it to be a completely taboo subject with Ian. He wants him to know he can talk about it with Mickey if he ever wants to.

But Ian is the only one that knows / gets to call him Mikhailo...in situations where he needs mickey to just follow orders without questioning him -> For example, when Mickey is ignoring direct order, probably doing something dangerous. Like, going in without backup. Or not sleeping because Ian hasn't finished he duties for today yet. (they need their end of the day unwinding conversation. or at least a kiss. Mickey doesn't want to skip on that. Also he know Ian would hurry to get to bed if he know Mickey is up waiting for him, which mean Ian would sleep more.)

"Not cool, Jimmy-Steve." I can't believe I didn't take the opportunity to use that!!! I love him protecting the boys' privacy. And making sure they wear clean socks.

Wait but do they higher ups know Mickey knows Ian from Chicago? Mickey and Ian must recognize each other immediately, right? I mean Mickey has been searching for Ian this whole time, because he KNEW in his heart that Ian wasn't dead, so there was never a chance he would follow through with it. But Ian doesn't know that, I guess. Not Ian thinking he's betrayed. again. This time by the love of his life, that he thought he'd never see again.

Okay so what if, to buy time to look for Ian, Mickey gets the task to spy and possibly kill Ghost. So he has a plan and all, but of course it doesn't matter the second he reunites with Ian. Maybe he got a picture of Ghost, but he would recognize those beautiful puppy eyes anywhere, even if he's more of a wolf now. So now Mickey knows who he's going to meet (or at least hopes he does) but Ian doesn't. Not until the moment he sees Mickey. So maybe Mickey plans it out, a big reveal like in 9x06, he makes sure they're going to be alone. But since he knows the higher ups are against Ian, he can't let him spill too much until they're in a remote and safe location. Ian is reluctant to follow him, suspecting it's a trap, but Mickey gets him to go with him. When they find the spot to talk without anyone seeing / hearing them, Mickey starts telling Ian about his plan. Mickey is trying to get Ian to see that he's on his side, sharing this secret info, but Ian is paranoid and think Mickey brought him to the secluded location to actually complete the task. Cue 5x10 dugouts -esc fighting turning into kissing? Like Mickey is screaming at him while fighting "You psycho I came looking for you! I'm fucking warning you so we can make a fucking plan! I'm trying to save you, Ian!" and Ian freezes. He hasn't heard his name is so long. He finally listens to Mickey's words. Let the filthy sex begin.

tension, some fucking, talking, everything's gonna be alright. (or will it?) -> IT WILL. IT WILL. IT HAS TO.

i gotta head to the store and run some errands, in the meanwhile-

are we thinking the same? 👀

I-, I didnt know it was-, I’m-… Nosho. I know nothing about call of duty, like literally nothing. And now I discovered there’s a gay lore to cod? Why the fuck didn’t anybody tell me? I guess all my friends are fucking fake bitches because I should have been notified long fucking time ago.

Please tell me everything I need to know about Soap(?) and Johnny(?) apparently known as ghostsoap (?) soapghost (?) I just got suggestions like this and holy shit. Ghost Ian and soap Mickey?

ps is soap wearing a choker or am I imagining?

[mochegato]

Jasonette Protection Program

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Marinette pulled her coat closer around her as she made her way from the bus stop to her apartment.  She had made the brilliant decision when she moved here not to get a car because… Gotham.  The likelihood that it would get damaged or destroyed in some kind of attack was ridiculously high.  The likelihood the bus would get blown up or taken over, while definitely still present, was significantly lower.

But today she was regretting that decision.  It meant she couldn’t isolate herself like she wanted to.  It meant she was exposed to anybody and everybody at the bus stop and on the bus and on the sidewalk and any one of them could have been the one to drug her.  She eyed the people around her as she walked.  Okay, maybe not the woman who looked like she was in her 90’s and could barely walk… and dropped her knitting out of her bag.

Marinette rushed over to her and paused right before reaching her. She twirled around and scanned the faces around her.  She could feel somebody watching her.  She could feel their eyes scrutinizing her every move.  She studied the shadows and the windows, but couldn’t find anyone watching her.  She frowned slightly and shook her head.  She was getting paranoid.  She was seeing and feeling things that weren’t there.  

She sighed and turned back to the woman, crouching down to help her put her knitting back in her bag.  The woman smiled in appreciation, which Marinette returned with a shaky one of her own.  She walked the remaining few feet to her apartment building and took a cautious look up and down the dark street before turning into it.  She made sure she heard the click of the door latching before continuing up the stairs, not that it would do anything.  Logically she knew that, but her anxiety still demanded it.

She kept her eyes on the stairwell as she made her way up to her apartment on the top floor, eyes hyper vigilant for any movement, her ears hyper sensitive to any sounds from the stairs.  She got to her floor and paused for a few moments waiting to see if any sounds or movement indicated someone behind her.  She let out a relieved sigh when there was no noise and turned to her apartment before letting out a muffled screech.

Jason jumped, dropping his phone he had been scrolling on, in his rush to hold up his hands in a placating motion.  “Just me.  It’s okay. It’s just me.”  He watched her for a few seconds.  She was starting to breathe hard, her eyes were boring into him. “Although I just realized you may not remember me.  So this was actually an incredibly stupid plan.”  He took a few steps away from her door, his hands still held up to let her know he wasn’t a threat.

Marinette continued to stare at him for a few more seconds, forcing her breathing to slow.  “You… you’re Tim’s brother, right?  You… you were…” she squinted at him, “you were in my bedroom?”

Jason grimaced and looked down to the floor as he rubbed the back of his neck.  “Yeah… that doesn’t make me sound too good, does it?”

She eyed him suspiciously.  “What are you doing here?”  

He perked up slightly and gave her a small, reassuring smile. “I wanted to check on you and see how you’re doing today.  It can hit a day or a few days later sometimes.  And I’m a security expert.  I consult on it for people and companies.  I wanted to offer to check your security for you so you’d feel safe, at least when you’re at home.”  He turned to her door and knocked on the doorframe.  “I can already tell that you need better locks.  I could have broken in easily, but I didn’t think you would appreciate finding me in your apartment.”

She raised an eyebrow at him but let out a quiet chuckle and looked away after a few seconds.  “You would be right.”  She looked back up at him and tentatively walked over closer to her door.  “But, I don’t think I can afford to hire you.”

Jason waved off her concern.  “I wouldn’t let you.  I’d charge Tim for it.  He can afford it and he’s worried enough that I’m actually kind of surprised he hasn’t contacted me already, but I suppose that has something to do with him not wanting you to meet me in the first place.”

Marinette quirked her lips to the side and studied him.  The longer she watched and talked to him the more memories came back and the clearer they became.  She was slowly starting to get bits and pieces of the night before, not enough to create a coherent picture, just incredibly short scenes, a word here, a smile there.  Regardless of what she could remember though, this was Tim’s brother and although Tim didn’t want them to meet, he trusted him, not that she would ever be allowed to say that out loud to either of them.  

She finally nodded and pulled out her keys.  “Well, I can at least offer you dinner while you’re here. If you’d like.”  She gave him a small smile as she passed him into the apartment taking off her coat and dropping her bag on the small dining room table.

Jason raised his eyebrows in surprise.  After the way she had reacted when she saw him, he honestly didn’t think she would talk to him let alone let him into her apartment.  He was starting to understand how she could have gotten drugged so easily if she was that trusting.  But then again, Tim had said they all were being careful. Her even more so than the others. So why was she so trusting now?  “I would never turn down free food,” he said slowly.

He closed the door behind him with a quick glance at the inside part of the lock, confirming his original suspicions.  Standard issue, not particularly secure.  He could have picked it in all of three minutes when he was only eight.  He didn’t have to lean down to study the doorknob to know it was in worse condition. One good kick and the door would be wide open.  He sighed. If anyone wanted to get into her apartment, it wouldn’t take them very much effort.

He turned back to the apartment, letting his frown morph into a smile.  Her apartment was cozy and lived in and very much her.  There were touches of her everywhere along with some touches that he wouldn’t have expected.  He shook his head at the condition of the apartment.  It wasn’t terribly messy but it also wouldn’t count as anything close to clean.  He could see why she and Tim got along so well.  Neither could clean up after themselves to save their lives.  

There were bits of fabric and half completed sewing projects scattered around along with random pages of scientific reports.  He raised an eyebrow at that.  Odd combination.  His eyes caught on men’s shoes by the door.  He scrunched his forehead in confusion.  If she lived with someone, where were they?  Where were they last night?  Why hadn’t Tim mentioned him?  “You live with someone?  A boyfriend?”

Marinette looked up from the refrigerator.  “No.  Well, yes, but no.  I live with my best friend,” she explained quickly, “but he’s visiting friends this week.”

Jason nodded.  That was good at least.  She wasn’t living alone.  There was someone else with her usually.  That makes it less likely someone could just break in and attack her.  He moved over to the window and sighed again, more deeply this time.  It was worse than the door.  “No curtains. You should probably get some, preferably lined ones.  This lock is ancient too.  It wouldn’t take much to jimmy it.  We’ll get you new locks for your windows and your door.”

Marinette looked at him wide eyed as she set a bunch of grapes and a jug of filtered water from the refrigerator on the counter.  She hadn’t been expecting the locks to be that bad.  She knew it wasn’t amazing, but then again, she hadn’t really been too concerned about being specifically targeted here.  Nobody really knew who she was, or rather used to be.  She was just an average citizen here.  

She stared at the window for a few seconds, her head cocking to the side and her eyes unfocusing as her mind wandered through the possibilities of what could have happened and what still could.  She was no longer safe, not even in her own home.  But then again, she never really had been had she?  She had just thought she was.  She thought she was safer after they’d defeated Hawkmoth, but she’d just traded one danger for another.

Jason watched as her face morphed from one expression to another, her eyes distant.  Her face clearly displaying each and every emotion she was going through, no matter how flitting.  Jason could guess where her head went.  When her eyes started shimmering, he opened his mouth to bring her out of it when her phone rang.  She jerked back violently, knocking over the jug of water.  

She cursed as she tried to stop the jug’s descent only to knock it further away, further spreading the water.  She gave a defeated groan and grabbed a towel from a nearby drawer to start sopping up the water.  Jason jumped to grab a few more towels to help.  It took a few minutes, but they were finally able to clean up the water with a minimum of damage to papers left on the counter.  Luckily, none of Marinette’s sketches were on the island anymore but Adrien was definitely going to have to reprint some of his papers for research.

Marinette gave Jason an appreciative smile and threw the papers in recycling and the towels in the sink.  She let out a deep frustrated sigh as she leaned against the counter.  After a few seconds, she ran her hands through her hair and laughed.  Jason frowned at the sound.  It was short and mirthless and sounded utterly wrong coming from her.  He could see her starting to spin but didn’t know her well enough to know how to help.  God, he really hadn’t thought this through.

Jason very slowly started reaching for her so she could see his hands coming.  Shen she didn’t shy away, he set a hand on her arm to ground her.  She looked up into his eyes, panicked eyes meeting concerned eyes. They both jumped when her phone started ringing again.  They both chuckled quietly at their reactions.  

“Sorry…” she started but was cut off by another ring.  She shook her head at herself.  She hadn’t even noticed the original call had dropped.  She checked the caller id and smiled at the phone. “Hey Tim.”  She paused to listen to him.  “No, I’m fine.  I just… I knocked something over and was cleaning it.  Sorry for scaring you.”

She gave Jason an apologetic smile as she listened to Tim.  “I’m doing okay, I guess.  I think I’m just jumpy… and getting paranoid.  I could have sworn someone was watching me walk home, but when I looked nobody was around or rather nobody was paying attention to me.” She missed the slight grimace Jason shot toward the floor.  “No, thank you though.  Actually, your brother is here already.”  She smiled at Jason again and put Tim on speaker.  

“…that so.  That’s very thoughtful of him,” Tim quipped in a clipped tone.

“Yeah, he’s checking my locks,” Marinette continued, seemingly oblivious to the tension in his voice, or attributing it to his concern.  “Apparently my door and window locks are pretty bad,” Marinette frowned at the thought.

“Uh huh.  Well it’s just so great that he came over then,” Tim gritted out.

Marinette did a double take when Jason’s phone dinged repeatedly with an extended series of text notifications.  She blinked at it a few times before looking questioningly at Jason. He rolled his eyes and turned his phone off.  He met her eyes with a shrug and a wink as he sat at her island.

“Tell him I say hi and remind him he has plans with Bruce soon,” Tim continued tightly.

Jason huffed.  “Tell him to tell B, I'm not going on patrol until Demon Spawn calms down.  And tell him I’m sending him the bill for this.”  He motioned vaguely around them.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Tim conceded easily before his voice turned harsh again, “And tell him…”

“You two do realize you can hear each other and you two both know you can hear each other and I know you can hear each other and I’m not an owl!” Marinette admonished them sharply.

The room was silent for a few seconds before Tim started chuckling.  “Sorry, Hermione.”

“Thank you, Harry.”  She nodded at the phone even though he couldn’t see her.

“Hey!  That makes me Ron?  What the fuck?” Jason objected raising up from his seat in offense.

“Oh come on, you’d look good with red hair,” Marinette teased him lightly.

“You better fucking not be Ron,” Tim growled.   “You’re more like Draco anyway,” he continued flippantly.

“Fuck you, Pretender,” Jason growled.

“Yeah, this is making me feel better,” Marinette sighed, leaning against the counter.

There was a guilty pause as the men took in her words.  “Sorry,” Jason finally spoke up after a while.

“What?”  Marinette gave him a curious look until realization set in.  “Oh!  No, I was serious.  You two remind me of my friends.  It feels comforting, normal.”

Tim waited a second before speaking up cautiously. “So… you’re okay for tonight?  You feel safe?”

Marinette smiled at the phone again.  “Yeah, Tim.  I’m okay.  Thanks for checking on me.”

“Of course.  Let me know if that changes.  I’ll be over in three minutes flat,” he promised.

Marinette grinned mischievously.  “Do I get a free pizza if you take longer?”

Tim huffed out a laugh.  “Absolutely.”

“Sweet.  I might test it just for that,” she teased him.  “Night, Tim.”

“Night.  And tell Jason to turn his phone back on before I do it for him.”

Marinette rolled her eyes.  “Still not an owl,” she singsonged before she hung up.  She looked over to Jason with a concerned smile. “Do you have to go?  It sounded like you already had plans?”

Jason waved her off and took the battery out of his phone before leaning against the counter near her.  “I have plenty of time.  Like I said, if I show up now De… Damian is going to attack me.” Marinette’s eyes widened in concern but Jason waved her off again.  “It’s fine. He isn’t as tough as he thinks he is. He wouldn’t be able to hurt me, but Bruce would yell at me for it and Dick would give me his disappointed in you lecture.  It’s better for everyone if I stay away for a few days.”  

He grinned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Tim just doesn’t want me stealing his friend away with my superior looks and charm.”

Marinette scowled lightly at him.  “Tim is very handsome and charming,” she insisted defensively.

Jason shot her a devilish smile.  “But not as much as me, right?”

Marinette scoffed at him and rolled her eyes.  “You certainly seem to think so.”  She rinsed some grapes and set them in a bowl between the two of them. “But he’s the only reason you’re here right now.  If you weren’t Tim’s brother and we hadn’t met last night when you were fairly respectful of me in my… state…”

“Fairly!?” Jason squawked.

“I’d have called, well, not the cops, but Tim, to take care of you,” she continued over him.  She grabbed a grape and chewed on it while she watched him appraisingly as she leaned back against the counter opposite him.  “Do you make a habit of stealing his friends?”

Jason shrugged and grabbed a few grapes.  “No, we generally move in different…” he searched for a nice way to phrase it, “circles.”

She hummed in response.  “And yet here you are, willingly entering in a circle with one of his friends.” She eyed him pointedly.  She quickly broke their eye contact to look down and cross her arms over her chest protectively.  “Thank you for breaking into this particular circle to help me out. Last night spooked me more than I want to admit.”

“Did you want to talk about it?  Or pretend like it never happened.  I can help with either,” Jason offered.

Marinette stared at the grapes for a while without talking. Jason was certain she was about to start spiraling again when she spoke up quietly.  “I was keeping an eye on my drinks.  I only took my eyes off of them when I was around people I trusted and we weren’t exactly close to other people for someone to just slip something in.”  She frowned and looked at nothing in particular. She poured herself a glass of water and held the rim of the glass against her lips without drinking it as she remembered the night before.  “I don’t know which scares me more, that someone was that good to get it in with all of us there or…”

“That one of the people you trust might be responsible,” Jason finished for her after a few seconds of silence.  When she looked up to meet her eyes, she looked so shaken and uncertain, he wanted to pull her into a tight, reassuring hug, but after the night before, he wasn’t sure a virtual stranger’s embrace would be the most reassuring.  He settled for moving to lean against the counter next to her so their arms were almost touching, but she still had her personal space.

“Yeah,” she said wrapping her arms around herself and rubbing her arms.  

“You think you were the intended victim?” he asked curiously.  He and Tim had already discussed the night and decided that she had to be, but he was curious what her thoughts were.  “You don’t think it was just opportunistic.  You think whoever was with targeting you.”

She shook her head and looked down, frowning at the floor.  She gripped her arms tighter.  “I don’t know.  I was never alone and I only drank with my friends at our own table away from other people.  I mean someone at the bar could have drugged it before it was brought over when the waitress brought drinks but…”

“How would they know who it would go to,” Jason finished again.  “Seems unlikely they’d risk the drug like that if they didn’t know who it would go to. If they didn’t have a plan to get the person out.”

Marinette looked up at him anxiously and nodded.  She studied him for a few more seconds before she shook herself out of her daze.  She looked up at him with a fake smile.  “So what are you feeling for dinner?  I can make some pasta.  I can do stir fry.  I can whip up a casserole.  What do you want?”

“I’ll be happy with whatever you feel like having tonight,” he assured her with a smile.

“I don’t… really… feel like eating,” she mumbled, looking away again. “This is more something for me to focus on instead of last night.”

Jason gave her a gentle smile and lowered himself to her level, trying to gain her attention.  “Look, I know you don’t know me but why don’t we order take out and we can watch a movie, or if you want to be alone, I can leave.”

“I don’t want to be alone,” she answered quickly, instantly looking over to him with a desperate look in her eyes.

Jason nodded slowly and gave her a gentle smile.  He rested his hands lightly on her arms to reassure her he was there and not going anywhere unless she wanted him to.  “That’s understandable.  I wouldn’t want to be either.  Do you want me to call Tim over?  I know you probably feel safer with him and when he can’t be here in three minutes, you get a pizza.”

She gave him a wan smile.  “No, I trust you.  And I’m not really feeling pizza right now.”

Jason smiled back.  “I want to joke and say that’s a terrible decision, but now doesn’t seem like the best time.” She gave him a deadpan look that made his grin widen.  “I’ll save that for later,” he finished with a wink. His expression quickly turned serious as he watched her.  “You should eat though.  What kind of food do you want to try?  There’s a good Indian restaurant around the corner.”

She looked away.  “I don’t want to order out.  I don’t want food that I…”

Jason nodded and moved closer again.  “Yeah, that’s reasonable.  Let’s make something together, yeah?  I saw some eggs and milk in your refrigerator and there’s bread on the counter.  How do you feel about breakfast for dinner?  French toast sound good?  I think you call it Lost Bread?  And how do you feel about Clueless?”

“The movie?” she asked confused.

“Yeah, adaptation of Jane Austen’s Emma.”

“Fan of Alicia Silverstone or Jane Austen?” she teased weakly.

“Both,” Jason answered with a wink.

Marinette snickered and nodded.  “That all sounds amazing.”  She moved away to start getting the pan and bowls out, watching him while he got the ingredients prepared.  “Thank you, Jason.  You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“No problem.  We’ll get things figured out so you can feel safe, or at least as safe as you can feel in Gotham,” he assured her, and himself.  They were going to find who drugged her and make her feel safe again.  Whoever it was messed with one of Tim’s friends, one of the few he really trusted, that means whoever it was messed with his family and nobody messed with their family.

Tags:

@jasonette-july-event @maribatserver @aespades @demonicbusiness @read-fantasy-to-escape-reality @jayjayspixiepop

[bowiebond]

"Love at second sight"

As IronHusbands, for the prompts!

TW Mention of substance abuse

When Tony Stark first saw James Rhodes, fresh faced with not a lick of scruff at fifteen and a stolen drink in hand as faceless people spoke to him about nothing important, he didn’t dare look away.

When James Rhodes first saw Tony Stark, under terribly dim lighting of a party and in a tailored outfit that was a stark contrast to his own terribly faded science joke shirt, he couldn’t look away.

Tones saw Rhodey, Rhodey saw Tones, and there wasn’t a moment during MIT where they looked away from each other, not really.

Rhodey kept his gaze on Tony, kept his focus on the younger as they sketches a million unused blueprints, as Tony seemed to look everywhere else for praise and desire, as Tony avoided sleep for days on end on a caffeine high.

Tony let his eyes follow Rhodey, let the constant distraction orbit around his brain as he admired the shiny stars in Rhodey’s eyes when he aced test after test, as he stumbled in smelling too much like his dad after a party but simply caressed his head and let the younger get him into bed. He let his own eyes sparkle like passing comets when Rhodey praised his work, when he treated Dum-E like more than a robot.

“You know, that boy is always staring at you, Jimmy baby.” Mama Rhodes would muse when Rhodey would bring Tony to thanksgiving, and Rhodey would always laugh.

“Tones is always trying to guess my next move, I like to stay unpredictable.”

“You’re plenty predictable, sweetheart. It came with a healthy dosage of stubbornness.” His Mama would pinch his cheek and shoo him off and Rhodey would forget his own excuses.

Then one day, they’re both forced to look away. Rhodey can’t look at Tony when he’s raging, when he’s breaking his beautiful creations like they’re offending him, when he’s screaming himself hoarse.

Tony can’t look at anyone. He can’t see anything but grief and pain and anger. He drowns his vision in booze and drugs and shades the outside world with a pair of sunglasses so he can’t see them and they can’t see him.

Rhodey tries to step back into view, to catch his eye, but Tony simply blocks him.

So Rhodey leaves. He has a life, he has promise, and he refuses to be undermined or forgotten as he climbs the ranks.

It’s almost a year later when his phone rings.

“This is James Rhodes. Who is this?” The number is unknown but he feels it in his gut.

“Rhodey. It’s uh… it’s Tony.”

“What a surprise. Didn’t you block my number? And you know, just, kicked me aside in general?” He doesn’t want to sound petty, or even angry, but he is. Or maybe he isn’t. Maybe he’s just tired. He feels tired talking to Tony, hearing his voice. He feels heavy with exhaustion and longing.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry. Shit.” Tony sounds on the verge of crying, but it’s different from the crack in his voice when he lost his parents. “Rhodey, I’m sorry. I’ve been a dick. Am a dick. I just — can you do me a favour?”

“You’re asking a lot, all things considered.” Rhodey intones.

“It’s… Hanukkah.” Tony sighed. “Spend it with me? Please. I can’t — it’ll be the first without them, and I can’t, Rhodey, I can’t—“

“Okay.” Rhodey cuts him off before he can blabber.

“Okay?”

“I’ll be there.” Rhodey doesn’t lie. He takes leave and he comes to Tony’s front door with a simple suitcase. When Tony sees him again, doe brown eyes unveiled from his usual frames, Rhodey feels like he’s being seen for the first time by Tony since Howard and Maria’s death.

Tony’s eyes fill with tears and he wraps he arms around Rhodey like he might disappear, but it’s warm and Rhodey has been cold for too long. Both of them have been.

When Tony steps back and feels Rhodey’s eyes, his entire chest blooms with hope and warmth and it’s melting away the walls so quickly it should be terrifying.

“I’ve missed you, Rhodey.”

“I can tell, crybaby. You light a candle for me yet, Tones?” Rhodey says instead but it’s filled with fondness that sets Tony’s anxieties at ease.

“Not a single one. You know I can’t be trusted with fire, platypus.” Tony grins and it’s infectious.

“I’ll supervise.”

They light the first candle of the menorah together and it’s like the spark of something new between them.

It’s the same routine. They celebrate and they laugh like old times, and Tony only drinks a Rhodey measured amount as they watch sci-fi films — critiquing them violently and practically yelling on top of each other to get their points across before bursting into laughter over movie science — and build a volatile machine that explodes paint and dust when Dum-E gets involved. They spend a good hour chasing the bot in order to clean him off.

It’s sweet and warm like s’mores and they can’t keep their eyes off one another. On the final night of Hanukkah, Rhodey asks him to come home for Christmas the coming week with his family.

It’s sitting on the porch of his childhood home with Tony that he realises.

“You know, Mama always said you liked fo stare at me.”

“What? That’s absurd. I don’t stare.” Tony grumbled.

“But you do watch me. I always figured you were trying to stay one step ahead like the genius you are.” It’s a curious statement, branching out into an almost question, and Tony bites.

“You’re predictable, honey bear. I don’t have to be a genius to stay one step ahead.” Tony snorted.

“So why do you watch me then, huh?” Rhodey grins, turning to look at his best friend.

“I… I didn’t get to for a long time. I kind of— I messed up after my parents died. I wasn’t the best to you, never really have been. Probably never will be.” Tony shrugged weakly.

“You didn’t handle it well. You self destructed. And, yeah, it hurt. To see you like that, and also to know I couldn’t really help.” Rhodey sighed. “You stopped looking at me. I think that was the worst part.”

“I stopped…looking at you?” Tony took a moment to digest his words before huffing a laugh. “I stopped looking at you. I stopped looking at everyone. And I forced you to stop looking me in turn, didn’t I?”

“Sure did.”

“I’m so stupid.” Tony smiled even as he spoke, bittersweet.

“I think it was for the best though.”

“Yeah?” Tony turned his gaze onto Rhodey and admired the soft porch light highlighting his defined cheeks and broad nose.

“Yeah. Never would have gotten to see you in a different light if I hadn’t… looked away. I needed a double take.” Rhodey’s deep brown eyes met Tony’s and his grin grew. “Love at first sight — it’s kind of overrated, huh?”

“Lo…” The tiny creases in Tony’s face smoothed with realisation. “Love at second sight? That’s not how it’s supposed to go, honey bear.” Amusement made his eyes shower with comets and Rhodey laughed, his own glistening with stars as he leant in and pressed a gentle kiss to Tony’s lips.

Tony found he was fine with being distracted by Rhodey, and would be fine with it forever, honestly.

Rhodey had a simpler desire. He just never wanted to look away from Tony again.

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

an icarus and his sun: chapter 11

A/N: bit of a shorter chapter this time, so i was able to get it out quicker! scott pov again :)

Warnings: injury, fever, unconsciousness, mild amnesia, corruption/infection, self-blame, self-worth issues, talk of death

AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost

-

Scott drifted in and out of consciousness, unsure of what was happening. He didn’t even register where he was at first, just heard faint but familiar voices. Then he was being lifted up, his head gently tucked into the crook of someone’s neck, and someone else’s delicate touch supporting his wings. Then some innumerable amount of darkness later, and he registered laying on something soft before there was a hand on his arm and a yelp. The yelp had sounded like Gem- had he made it to her empire? More murmuring voices, and Scott drifted out again.

The next time he drifted towards a more semi-conscious state, he was instantly filled with relief. He hadn’t really realized how warm he felt until something cool was placed on his forehead. If Scott had the energy to, he would have let out a grateful sigh. Then a hand gently ran through his hair, and Scott just about melted- in a good way this time, instead of the fever-warm kind. He must have made some sort of reaction, because he heard a half amused, half relieved chuckle from above him.

“I think the compress is helping,” the owner of the chuckle said- voice so devastatingly familiar but Scott’s brain was too fever-addled to remember who it belonged to. Inexplicably it made him think of slimeballs and glimmering scales, but he didn’t have the slightest idea why.

“Or playing with someone’s hair is the cure for corruption,” another voice teased. There was an indignant reply, a laugh from the second voice- but Scott sank into darkness again before he could decipher who either of the voices were.

-

Scott was shivering the next time he came to some semblance of awareness. Something soft was pulled over him, and whatever was put on his forehead before was adjusted. The hand in his hair was gone though, and he managed to make a distressed sound at that. There was a soft murmur, some comforting words that Scott couldn’t quite make out, but then there was a hand in his hair again and Scott sighed in relief. He managed to blearily blink his eyes open, and met the gaze of a pair of soft brown eyes wide with surprise and concern. The owner of the eyes had a mess of blond hair on his head, and somehow that felt wrong to Scott. The eyes he knew, but the hair… he felt like it was something he shouldn’t be seeing. But at the same time he felt he had seen it before, on a night with shimmering bronze details, dancing, and betrayal. But Scott couldn’t place why he remembered those things when looking up at the person gazing down at him.

“Easy, you’re alright. Let’s try and get some water in you, maybe a health potion too,” the devastatingly familiar man said. He shifted away from Scott, causing a distressed sound to leave his lips. The man chuckled.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Just gonna help you sit up a bit,” he murmured, doing just so and letting Scott lean on him when he couldn’t stay upright by himself. His wings reflexively stretched out, and Scott let out a relieved sound at the ache in his wings lessening slightly. An amused giggle came from somewhere on Scott’s other side.

“Guess we should probably make sure he’s not resting on his wings too much, huh?” the owner of the giggle said in a teasing tone. That got a semi-flustered nervous chuckle from the man holding him, who had started to gently prod Scott out from where he had been tucked into the crook of his neck. Scott made a displeased sound, trying to nuzzle into the man’s hold further. Another giggle sounded.

“Gem, stop laughing at me and help, he’s being clingy,” the man pouted. Wait- Gem? Scott knew that name. Why did he know that name?

“Don’t act like you don’t like it, Jimmy,” the other voice- Gem, apparently, teased back. The name Jimmy definitely sounded familiar, it sparked butterflies in Scott’s stomach and reminded him of teasing banter and cocky smiles. The man- Jimmy- sighed and finally got Scott out from his hiding place in the space where Jimmy’s neck and shoulder met. His head was tilted back, and something cool was pressed to his lips. He eagerly drank down the water, earning him a gently reprimanding “slow down” from Jimmy. But soon the water was gone, and despite it helping him feel much better than before, Scott found himself incredibly drained of energy as he slumped back against Jimmy. He made a distressed sound as he felt darkness tugging at him again.

“It’s alright, you can rest. I’ll be right here, I promise. I won’t let you go, ever again,” Jimmy said with gentle determination. He wasn’t sure why, but Scott felt relieved at the assurance. His eyes slipped shut, and he dimly registered a hand smoothing out his feathers as he let the darkness claim him once more.

-

Scott’s next semi-coherent moment was one full of pain. It felt like there was fire spreading out from his forearm, all the way up to his shoulder and down to his fingertips. There was something pulsing and squirming beneath his skin too, in tandem with the pain in his arm. He let out a choked scream when someone touched his arm, the pain intensifying so much that Scott felt like he could barely breathe. Someone took his other hand, and there was a hand gently running through his hair. Scott relaxed ever so slightly at the familiar reassuring touches, even as tears of pain started streaming down his face.

“It’s okay, breathe Scott, you’ll be alright. Squeeze my hand if you need to, it’ll be okay. I’m here, I promised you I’d be right here, remember?” a voice said- and Scott wanted to remember. He wanted to remember this person’s reassurances, wanted to remember why this person’s voice inexplicably meant so much to him- but all Scott could do was scream as the pain intensified again.

“We have to stop, this is only hurting him,” another voice said, cool and collected with an undertone of worry. The pain stopped, and Scott sobbed in relief, his hand loosening the tight grip on the other person’s hand- when had he started clutching at him so tightly? His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, his already blurry vision darkening at the edges.

“You’re alright, sorry about that, we thought maybe that would work. We’ll figure something out, I promise,” the first voice said, running a hand through his hair. Scott wanted to ask how this person was so confident that everything would be okay, but he passed out again before he got the chance.

-

The last time Scott woke up, he thought he was dead. This was the most coherent he had been in a while, but despite that, he somehow saw Jimmy sitting beside him, eyes closed with his cod head nowhere to be seen and a hand loosely clasped over Scott’s. Surely this had to be a dream, or some sort of bizarre afterlife where he saw visions of Jimmy actually caring about him. All those hazy memories from before, of someone Scott now definitely knew was Jimmy soothing him and reassuring him? That couldn't have been real. Why would it be? Scott had betrayed Jimmy. He shouldn't want anything to do with Scott… but that didn't mean Scott didn't want to enjoy the fantasy while it lasted.

Jimmy suddenly stirred beside Scott, hand gripping his own a bit tighter and causing his heart to flutter. Soft brown eyes blinked open, hazy for a moment before they registered Scott staring right back. An elated, relieved grin came over Jimmy’s face, and Scott really must have been dead or dreaming to earn a look like that. No way that the real Jimmy would care about him that much after everything that Scott had done.

"How are you feeling?" Jimmy asked softly, and Scott could only blink in confusion.

"Am I dead?" Scott blurted, voice hoarse from such little use. Jimmy let out a nervous chuckle at the outburst, shaking his head fondly.

"It was admittedly looking pretty bad… it's still not looking great if I'm honest- but your fever's finally gone down. So you're alive," Jimmy gently explained. Interesting. So maybe this was a fever dream then? But if this was real, and Scott really was going to be okay… he had so much he needed to say to Jimmy. He needed to explain himself, properly apologize for what he had done. He had to take this chance, even if it wasn't real so that Scott could at least finally live with himself- if he was even going to live at all.

"Jimmy-" Scott started, but was cut off with a choked gasp as pain suddenly flared in his arm, shooting all the way up to the top of his spine. It felt like there was something clawing inside him, trying to latch onto him and pull. He was suddenly gasping for breath, hands clutching at the sheets and at Jimmy’s hand.

"Scott? What's wrong, I'm here- Gem!" Jimmy called, standing up but still tightly holding Scott’s hand as he leaned over him with a worried expression. Scott was shaking now, trying to hold back whatever the hell it was clawing up towards his head. Tears sprung to his eyes as he gasped and shuddered, a death grip on Jimmy’s hand.

"I'm sorry," he managed to gasp through the pain. "Sorry" didn't even begin to cover it, there was so much more that Scott wanted to say- but the whatever it was suddenly latched onto Scott’s mind, like claws digging into his skull and forcefully pulled. His body seized one last time with a cry before going limp, his hand loosening his hold on Jimmy’s as well, and his eyes fluttered shut.

And then Scott saw nothing but red.

-

Taglists below! Ask to be added or removed!

MCYT General Fic Taglist: @corazon10000 @damiensaidno @franticfandomfanatic @gattonero17 @hetapeep41 @space-ace123 @vyeoh 

AIAHS Taglist: @anty-kreatywna @beepa99 @devilwoodkitty18 @riobug 

[diary-of-deadweight]

Masterlist.

Fic Idea by @leximills666

“Anything new?” You asked, sitting yourself in the spare chair between Darcy and Jimmy, who handed you your cup of caffeine. “If you consider Pietro teaching the twins how to stream snacks from the kitchen then no.” Jimmy spoke up, his eyes glued intently to the television for any missable details that could play in your favour. “But Jimmy did almost spill coffee onto Director Hayward.” Darcy shoots the mortified male a amused look as you slapped a hand onto his shoulder, trying so hard not to burst out laughing at the mental image that gave you an good amount of serotonin, “I’d pay good money to see you actually do it, serves him right for calling my friend a terroist.”

It was common knowledge that you and the Maximoff twins were close friends after their introduction to the Avengers as you were gaining some semblance of understanding of your teleportation powers and it’s limitations before trauma bonding with the pair over being Hydras successful lab rats. So when Hayward slagged off Wanda it took Darcy, Monica and Jimmy to hold you back from ending his whole career John Wick style. The bastard got real lucky but you couldn’t promise that the next time was going to have him leave a briefing room without a few bruises and even bruised ego. Fuelled by the frustration of recent events that left you feeling helpless as you were forced to watch the sitcom shenanigans Wanda and her dead yet somehow not dead husband and her adorable twins get into that only made it feel like a horror after they end, leaving you with more questions then answers that weighed on your darkening eyebags and breaking every last ounce of paitience you once thought you had along with the sleepless nights of theorising that went nowhere without someone bringing up a flaw made keeping your powers in check a little more difficult that you’d scare Jimmy, Darcy and Monica on a plethora of occasions.

You just wanted to get them out and be done with Hayward’s suspicious ass. I mean it was clear as fuck that vision was in bits and pieces in the video servalence footage. What was he doing with him? Why did he wait this long to show everyone something that would’ve benefited the opertation from the beginning? THAT was suspicious behaviour and yet no one was gonna question it?! Gotta love corruption I guess. “Anything new Dr Lewis?” Speaking of corruption, here it was in human form standing behind you there with his ‘stick up his ass’ attitude; it really pissed you off that you’d love nothing more then to slam your fist into him punchable bitch face until it’s unreagnisable. Sensing your hatred and thirst for violence, Jimmy places a hand on your shoulder and gave you a stern look that read ‘no...not yet at least.’ Sighing you gave him a passable smile before talking a long sip of coffee, making sure to slurp annoyingly loud as possible when Hayward looked at you unamused that you couldn’t help retaliating with a tight lipped smile and the middle finger. Darcy had to cover her mouth from bursting out in hysterics while Jimmy sighed like a disappointed parent but you knew he was trying to hold it together internally as Darcy was. “Nothing worth reporting back on sir.”

Hayward didn’t say anything other then let out a grunt then making his way out of the room not without a snarky comment from you of course, “don’t let the door hit you on the way out directior” to which he replied with as swiftly “appreciate the concern (l/n).” Making sure he was out of sight Darcy burst out laughing so hard she had to lean against you for support while Jimmy allowed himself to chuckle a little had your chest warming up, erasing any forms of pent up frustration like magic. Spending time with these beautiful bastards were what made the sleepless nights worth it in your opinion, knowing that you weren’t alone in wanting to help Wanda instead of harm. “What’re they laughing at?” Monica asked, a dazzling smile adorned her face as she nursed her own coffee between her hands; You shrugged nonchalantly looking back at her with fake innocence that told her more then she needed to know. “The sleep deprivation must’ve caught up to them.”

“Shut up!” The dark haired woman nudged you in the side, almost spilling your coffee in the process, “(y/n) threw some serious sass at Hayward earlier, should’ve been there Monica it was hysterical.” Monica only laughed in response as she patted you on the back, proud that she wasn’t the only one sick of Hayward’s shit, “I guess I should’ve. Would make a great memeory to share in the future” she sat in the chair next to Darcy turning her attention to the screen where Pietro was attempting to be slick and nab a snack while Wanda was cutting onions unflinchingly, only to slip and land flat on his back scaring Wanda as the unseen audicene laughed. Stupid and as cheesy as it was it didn’t fail to make you crack a smile while reminiscing of a similar memory that stuck out like a sore thumb. You and Pietro thought it be a great idea to compete against one another in order to see who’d get to the kitchen first, spoiler: he won by a narrow margin, that still had you calling him a cheat to this day, and decided to hide from you behind the counter like the little shit that he was. Long story short you entered the kitchen thinking you won, he jumps out scaring you so badly that you end up teleporting ontop of him.

“Hey (y/n).” Darcy’s voice brought you back from your thoughts and to reality. The thought of teleporting in there and getting your friends out has been a recurring one though your required to feel someone’s energy signature and with how well getting inside visuals went the likelihood of you sensing Pietro or Wanda for that case wasn’t going to be a piece of cake if it was you’d already have done it by now. “Yes Dr Lewis?” “Think you could-“ teleport inside? Trust me I’ve thought the same thing but the barrier is a major issue standing in my way of actually getting inside and out without trouble.” Despite all odds that didn’t stop you from wanting to give it a try if it meant trapping yourself also you wouldn’t hesitate to do it in a heartbeat. So it took your friends aback when you abruptly stood up from your chair, shoving your coffee into Jimmy’s hands and made a mad dash out of the room and down the corridor unapologetically shoving everyone aside with Monica and Darcy in hot pursuit while poor Jimmy placed your coffee down by your chair and bolted in hopes of catching up but when he did you were already teleported into the barrier that was dragging you into Westview before their eyes.

“(Y/n)!!!!” Monica yelled as she ran towards you, hand outstretched to pull you back but only grasped air when you disappeared form sight, she was so close to saving you but was too late non the less. Darcy and Jimmy shared a look as they came to her side as the feeling of helplessness became more evident within them. “Come on Monica, we can probably catch them on the television.” She said solemnly as they walked back to base.

-meanwhile in Westview-

Scared and confused you found yourself wandering aimlessly down the streets in your new attire of plaid shirt, leather jacket, high waisted trousers, converse and a locket that help a picture of you, Pietro and Wanda inside before finding yourself on your ass looking up at a silver haired male in a black leather jacket, Hawaiian shirt, jeans and worn down sneakers.

“What the-,” his chocolate eyes widened as they landed on your face, “(y/n)?! Is that you?!” His voice was just as you remembered it you smirked, outstreching a hand in a silent jesture to be helped up, “you think I’d let you wander too far?” He chuckled, hauling you off the floor and into his arms, face buried into his neck savouring the brunt sugar smell you’ve missed so much. “I should’ve guessed you’d be several steps behind.” He whispered into your hair, placing a kiss there, immediately comforting you before pulling away to drag you down the street without explanation towards a familiar house that belonged to the auburn haired female who was currently cleaning up after her kids when she saw Pietro, giving him that parental stare. “You’re a bad influence on my kids Pietro, you’re lucky to be my brother or I would’ve blasted across town by now.”

‘Well that ain’t foreboding at all.’ You thought to yourself as you took in the fact that you were finally reunited with the people who meant the most to you, you couldn’t remember when you got here nor how other then the fact that you wanted to visit Pietro and Wanda and that you could teleport. “If it’s any constellation, look who finally decided to pay us a visit.” The silver haired male stepped aside to reveal you in all your unsure glory as Wanda’s eyes widened like they did with Pietro but she didn’t any waste time in running towards you and holding your face in her hands, tears lining her eyes and you couldn’t help but lean into her warmth. “(Y/n)?” She whispered softly. “Hi Wanda, sorry I’m late.” You said as Pietro held both of you close to his chest protectively while Wanda laughed weakly her hand dropping you grasp yours tightly, “all is forgiven now that we’re together...as we should be.” Her eyes flashed red for a split second.

“Yeah, together at last.”

[softtransbf]

Fresh Blood, Old Scars Part 1

You'd disappeared 15 years ago without a trace- what's Yancy supposed to do when you walk into Happy Trails Penitentiary and don't recognize him, because he's transitioned? canon compliant trans!yancy/reader

Reader: he/him trans man, no physical description

Rating: T

Warnings: mentions of violence, canonical and parental. deadnaming and misgendering before either of you came out (none by anyone who knows the correct name/pronouns)

Word Count: 2,690

“Hey Yancy, I heard there’s fresh blood comin’ in today for some sorta museum heist.”

“Oh? Know anything else about these guys, so we can give ‘em a proper welcome, Bambam?”

“I know some. The first guy, Mark Iplier, claimed to have been in charge of the whole thing, but from what my sources said, it’s the partner that ran the show- just real quiet-like. I’ve been told that he don’t say a word.”

“Got a name for this, uh, silent partner?” He chuckled at his joke.

“Y/N L/N.” Yancy’s stomach dropped the way it always did when he heard that last name, your last name. Get your shit together. Wrong first name, and Bambam said he and his. Bambam don’t use pronouns other than they/them unless they’re sure. It’s just some guy with the same last name.

“Yance, you okay?” Tiny waved his hand in front of Yancy’s face.

“Yeah, yeah, just, uh, thinkin about how best to greet dese guys. The usual, wit Don’t Wanna Be Free ready just in case?”

“Right off the bat? You really think they’re that high of a flight risk?” Sparkles finally spoke up.

“I, uh, I don’t trust dem silent-types. They’s always schemin’, got somethin goin ahn in their heads.” And if he's anything like- yeah. Gone before you know it.

“Okay, if you say so. I’ll go let the others know.” Yancy didn’t even register who was speaking; he was too lost in memories.

- 15 years earlier-

Yancy knew it wasn’t cool to be excited for the first day of school when you’re a senior in high school, but he didn’t care. He didn’t need or even want to be cool- all he needed was to be your friend. Well, maybe not just friend. You’d been gone for almost the entire summer, and he’d spent the whole time figuring out how to both ask you out and tell you that he’s a guy.

He practically skipped across the street to your house so you can walk to school together, like you had every day since middle school. He knocked- nothing. Rang the doorbell- still nothing. He checked the back door and the spots where you had hidden spare keys over the years- nothing. All the curtains were drawn, too, so he couldn’t see inside. He kept trying as long as he possibly could before he had to sprint to make it to class just barely in time. All day, he kept an eye on the door, waiting for you- the two of you made sure to sign up for the exact same schedule before you went on your vacation. At lunch, he went to the office to see what he could find out.

“Y/DN isn’t a student here anymore- Mr L/N just told us last week.”

“What? Do you know where they went?”

“I’m sorry, hon, I don’t. All I know is that Y/DN is no longer a student here.”

He’d never ditched a class in his life, but that was the last thing on his mind as he ran home, crying. He didn’t stop crying for weeks.

-Present -

He’d never wanted to be wrong more in his life, but there you were. Looking better than he’d ever dreamed, following Mark around silently as he blabbered on about wanting to rally the other inmates to try to break out. No. I lost you once, and it cost me everything. I’m not about to lose you again. He quickly spread the word to skip pleasantries with the new guys and prepare for the song. As he was, you made eye contact with him from across the room. His heart dropped; you didn’t recognize him. You looked right through him, with the same calculating expression you gave everyone else. Of course he wasn’t gonna recognize you, dumbass. You’ve been on hormones for years and have had top surgery. Usually Yancy loved that he couldn’t see anything of the person he used to be in the mirror, but today he hated it more than anything in the world. Stick to the plan, Yance. He doesn’t recognize me, but it might be better this way. This way, I can get him to stay and get to know me as I am now, and he won’t be disappointed that I haven’t become anything like what we dreamed of so long ago.

Yancy couldn’t have planned it better, Mark practically begging Jimmy to punch him through the wall right before the show started, leaving you alone.

The number went great, as always, but then you showed him a picture of your parents. He knew that picture; you took it when the four of you went on a vacation together before you started your freshman year of high school. He also knew that he had once been in the picture, but you’d cut him out. The tape and staples that had been holding his heart together since you left fell away.

He stuck with his usual response to people citing family for wanting to leave, for the most part. No one at Happy Trails knew about you, and he’d killed his parents before they could leave him, so he’d kept his true abandonment issues to himself. Face to face with you after all these years, though, he couldn’t stop himself from adding “they’re always just gonna leave you behind” and a warning about trifling with the past. You flinched a little at both of those, and a spark of hope ignited in his chest- maybe you hadn’t forgotten about him, even if you didn’t recognize him now.

Then you still chose to leave. The rest of the rather single-sided conversation was a blur to him. Later, as he was tending to his injuries in solitary, he remembered calling you handsome and/or beautiful and your blush when he did. And, of course, you knocking him flat on his ass. He’d challenged you to a fight, because he’d always been able to beat you before. The part that truly left him confused, though, was why he offered to help you break out.

All he’d wanted for the last fifteen years was to go back to the day you left and beg you to stay. He’d told himself dozens, maybe hundreds, of times that if he ever saw you again, he’d do everything in his power to keep you with him. On his darker and angrier days, he truly meant everything. But here you are, and he offered to help you leave. This is what you get for even hoping someone might stick around. Let’s just do this. I gotta stop in with the warden first, though…

“Me? Out there? With you?” He chuckled. You had no idea that, with that simple gesture, you offered him everything he’d wanted for so long. Fuck, I don’t deserve him. I still love him, but he deserves someone better than the angry, selfish man I am. The fragments of his heart splintered even more. “I, um. I done a lotta bad things. And, uh.” He made himself brighten up. “This is home! For now, anyway. Maybe next time parole comes up, I’ll, uh” take it and go find you like I should have fifteen years ago. And I’ll spend every minute until then trying to become the kind of man you deserve. “Anyway, I gotta get back to it. You take care now, you hear? And, hey, visitation! Every third Sunday!” You looked down at the box you’d brought with you, and he ran. When he got back to his cell, he cried genuine tears for the first time since that August day when his world turned upside down.

- 2 weeks later, visitation day -

He knew hoping you’d come was a waste of time, and that he was just setting himself up for more pain. He’d learned the hard way that when you were gone, that was that. But still, there he was, looking up every time a guard walked into the room. As expected, they never called his name. The rest of the inmates gave him a wide berth as he went back to his cell for the night, and they were right to. He was itching for an excuse to fight. No one gave him one, though, so he told himself he’d find one tomorrow and got ready for bed.

When he got to his cell, it took him just one second to realize there was someone on his bed, pull them off, and shove them against the wall. It took him three more to process that it was you, and then another five to step back and let you go.

“Sorry for scaring you, Yancy. I didn’t mean to. It’s just… it’s visitation day, but I’m still wanted for the escape you helped me pull off, and I haven’t decided if I want to come back for good or not.” He stood there, frozen. You chuckled nervously. “I get it, your turn to be the quiet one. I’m sorry about that, by the way. There was a lot to process all at once, and I just kinda shut down when I get overwhelmed.”

I know. I remember that you didn’t say a single word our first day of high school, Yancy wanted to say. He wanted to say something, anything, but you being there and so close was just too much.

“Okay, so, honesty time; there’s a specific reason I came back.” You took a deep breath. “I haven’t been able to shake this feeling that I know you, somehow. But I know I’d remember meeting you- no way I’d forget someone like you. Anyway, I'm probably way off base and ridiculous. I guess I just wanted to tell you?” You ran your hand through your hair. “God, that sounds even flimsier than it felt in my head. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It, uh. It means a lot that you came back to say that.”

“Uh, Yancy? What happened to your accent?”

“Shit. Um. C’mere.” He muttered, as he sat down on his bed and pulled you down next to him. He prayed that you couldn’t hear how his heart started racing when he noticed your knees were touching. “No one here knows that the accent isn’t how I always speak. Not even the warden. I’ve been here five years and haven’t dropped it once. Anyone learns about this, and you’re dead, understand?” He knew that the threat was empty, but you seemed to believe it.

“Yeah, yeah, I do, don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me. I gotta ask, though- why fake it? It seems like a lot of effort. You don’t owe me an explanation, of course, but since you’re heart-on-your-sleeve about your parents, it must be one hell of a reason. I bet it’d feel good to let it off your chest. I can promise to leave and never come back if you do- a burden shared is a burden halved, and if I’m gone, you can be 100% sure no one here will know.”

He took a deep breath. “Something flipped my world on its head, and I needed to distance myself from who I was before. That’s an odd phrase, though- ‘a burden shared is a burden halved’. Where’d you pick that up?”

“Oh, um. The mom of someone I loved a long time ago used to say it a lot. It just kinda stuck, I guess.”

“Loved, huh? You break their heart, or did they break yours?” Yancy was surprised he got the words out without his voice shaking or cracking. You were silent for a long time, and Yancy was sure he’d pushed too hard and you would completely shut down or, worse, leave altogether.

“Sorry, I haven’t talked about this… ever." Your voice shook. "I’ve never talked to anyone about this. I don’t know if I was loved back, but if so, I was the heartbreaker. I didn’t mean to be- I couldn’t control having to leave, and I didn’t know I wasn’t coming back until it was too late. I couldn’t say goodbye. I’ve hoped every day for the last fifteen years that my feelings were unrequited, though. I’m happy to have the pain of an unrequited first love if it means she wasn’t heartbroken.” The incorrect pronoun stung a bit, but you didn’t know, and you’d loved him back all those years ago. He was invincible.

“Have you tried reaching out? Even if your feelings were one-sided, I think you owe it to both of you to say them, at least once.” He reached out and took your hands without thinking. You didn't stop him, and he felt like he could fly.

“I tried, actually. About eight years ago, I'd, uh, escaped and was finally an actual person again after everything that was done to and taken from me, so I started looking for her. But it’s like she vanished off the face of the earth five years to the day after we were separated. It’s actually how I met Mark- I got into some deep and shady shit looking. I only gave up last year. Nothing turned up in seven years of searching, so I have to figure that she did something incredibly stupid a decade ago and got herself killed.”

“I didn’t die. Just the name did.” Yancy breathed. A half second later, he realized he’d said it out loud, and his heart stopped. You took your hands out of his and scooted away.

“Yancy. Are you trying to tell me that you’re- that we- oh my god. It is you. I knew I knew you. Everything else is different, but I should have recognized your eyes. I guess some part of me did. But you- I- I thought you were dead.”

“As you can see, I’m not dead, Brain. And for the record, your feelings were definitely not one-sided.” He reached out and cupped your cheek with one hand.

“Shit, Pinky, it really is you.”

Yancy had dreamed about how seeing you again would go in a million different ways. Not a single one of those included you practically jumping into his lap and kissing him with a lifetime's worth of love and want.

He let out an undignified whine when you broke the kiss. “Wait, wait. You knew from the second I walked in here who I was, didn’t you? You tried so hard to stop me from leaving… but then you helped me do just that. You chose to stay here when I asked you to come with me. Then I came back, and you got me to say all those things… And we’re both trans and wound up here? This is all just. So much. I can’t- I can’t do this.” You got off his lap and scooted to the far end of the bed.

“What are you saying, Y/N? That you’re leaving? Again?” He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.

You stood up and faced him. “You do not get to play that card. You don’t know how much I went through trying to find a way to tell you I was sorry, that I didn’t know that the trip was a permanent one until we were on the other side of the country. Dad said that I'd never see mom again, and he’d kill me if I tried to get in touch with you or anyone else from back home. He broke my arm to prove he meant it. I can’t stay here to unpack all of this. I have to go. But you can come with me. I mean it even more now than I did last time. I’m not leaving you, I’m leaving here.”

You walked to the cell door and looked back at him with a sigh. “But I know you, and you have a family here. I’ll get you my address- it’s your turn to come to me, when you’re ready. I’ve waited 15 years to be with you again, what’s a little bit longer?” Without giving him a chance to respond, you kissed him again and were gone.

[thetomorrowshow]

drunk with stagnant breath - ch. 6

Prologue - Previous

hello hello welcome back to this fic! sorry if i've been a little out of it lately, going through some stuff.

reminder that this fic features scott possessed by xornoth, causing him to act as an abuser to other characters. please block the tag 'abusive scott' if you don't want to see this fic. it's very heavy, please stay safe. for that reason, the entire chapter has been put under the cut.

cw: amnesia/brainwashing, self-harm, injuries and blood, implied/referenced sexual abuse (including a brief not-detailed discussion around consent), scott's a bad guy, food/food deprivation, panic attacks

~ CHAPTER 6: Chapter 2 lied; this is the one where we realize how bad things are

Jimmy watched as Joel painstakingly wrapped a bandage around his forearm. He was bleeding again—Lizzie had cried when he had torn up the bedsheets, so he turned it on himself. He didn’t realize it would make her cry harder.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Joel waved it off, taping down the end and sealing the bottle of disinfectant. Joel stood, and Jimmy forced himself to go as limp as possible. He was in trouble, whether or not Joel helped him.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he heard Joel sigh.

“Jimmy, we aren’t going to punish you,” Joel said. He sounded tired. Jimmy cringed—he was tired from dealing with him, wasn’t he? “We’ve said it before—punishing you for messing up is abuse. Abuse is wrong.”

Had they said it before? Jimmy’s head really hurt, but he didn’t dare bring it up. He wanted it to hurt. It helped to hurt, made him feel almost as if he was getting what he deserved.

“J-Joel?” he found himself asking.

“Yes?”

“When can I see Scott?”

Joel sighed again. Jimmy cracked his eyes open, saw the tension in every line of the man’s body.

“I don’t know,” he said eventually. Jimmy nodded, fingering the locket around his neck. It was still beating. Scott was okay. “What do you remember today?”

Jimmy shrugged. They asked him that pretty frequently, he thought. Maybe it changed pretty frequently too.

“Do you know where you are?”

Jimmy considered, then shook his head. He was somewhere lonely. Somewhere that wasn’t home. Somewhere without Scott.

“All right. D’you know who me and Lizzie are?”

Jimmy rubbed his eyes. “You’re the one who I saw yesterday,” he said listlessly. “You come in here a lot. And Lizzie. You switch off, I think. I’m sorry.”

Joel frowned. “Why are you sorry?”

“Well, you take turns because . . . I’m . . . I’ve got a lot of problems. And you can’t deal with me by yourself. Or for very long. I’m sorry—Scott told me—he knew only he would ever love me—put up with me—all my problems—”

“Jimmy, you’re hyperventilating—please, take a few breaths, yeah?”

Jimmy did so, tears stinging at his eyes.

“Okay,” Joel said. “It’s okay if you don’t remember who we are. How would—”

Joel’s mouth kept moving, but whatever he was saying was drowned out as another voice spoke. Jimmy glanced around, but found nothing. It was familiar, and felt like it came from inside his head? Who would be talking to him inside?

“Do not fear, oceanchild. I sense that you are greatly distressed.”

Aeor. Could the god hear his thoughts? Probably. I’m feeling pretty alone, thank you very much, he thought hard. Scott’s gone, and these people locked me up and I keep screwing up and they won’t even punish me. I’m just—I’m alone.

Aeor sighed, long and deep. “I am here. I never abandon my own.”

Sure. Did you want something from me? I tried to get that stupid—you know—but Scott got mad. Did you know it was against the rules?

“I . . . did not. I might have guessed, though. My heart goes out to you and your pains, child.”

Great, because that’s so helpful to me and my situation.

“I am here,” Aeor said again. “His poison is deep within you, but I will do what I can extract it.”

“What are you even talking about?” Jimmy asked tiredly. Joel stopped speaking, looking to him.

“All of it?”

Wait, he’d said that out loud?

And Joel had been talking? What if he’d missed something important, like something about Scott? Was Joel mad at him now? He looked down quickly, trying to calm his heartrate. He was in trouble. It was okay. He was used to being in trouble.

“Jimmy, I told you. I’m not going to hurt you, especially not for something so small. It’s okay if you weren’t paying attention, you have a lot on your mind.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Jimmy muttered. And it didn’t. None of this made sense, and it hadn’t made sense for the two days he’d been here, and it wasn’t going to make sense. He peeled at the bandages on his arms, then smacked himself when he realized what he was doing. He moved his sharp nails to his thighs, wincing when he scratched over a bruise.

“Oh, sh—shoot,” Joel groaned, slapping a hand to his own forehead. “Jimmy, have you been scratching places other than your arms?”

He froze. Was he not supposed to? But he’d messed up, he needed the pain to remind himself not to do it again, he needed it to hurt! His eyes filled with tears. What did Joel want of him? He was trying his best!

“Jimmy, I’m going to get Lizzie, okay?” said Joel. “I—oh, gosh—remember when we talked about checking for injuries yesterday?”

Jimmy sniffed, then nodded. He didn’t remember much about it, but there had been conversation of taking his clothes off and making sure he wasn’t hurt too badly. It was the clothes part that made him uncomfortable—they knew, everyone knew, that he was hurt. Why did he have to show them?

And Scott always said that his body belonged to him. He shouldn’t let anyone look at him unclothed except his husband. He didn’t want anyone to look at him. He wanted Scott. He wanted Scott to kiss him with his sweet sweet taste that made everything better.

“Well, we need to do that now, is that all right? I promise we won’t hurt you.”

Jimmy rubbed his eyes with the gloved palm of his hand, resisting the urge to pull out the hair of his eyebrows. Scott hated it when he did that, said it made his face uneven. He nodded.

Joel nodded as well, then left the room.

“I don’t feel good.” Jimmy whispered to the empty room. He dug his fingernails into his arms. His head hurt and his heart ached and he felt sick to his stomach, like he’d swallowed two tons of pure sugar.

“I know. I can do little to ease it, oceanchild. Your oceansister and brother will help.”

“How?” Jimmy asked, lips cracking. He licked them. “What can they do?”

“Let them try, my son.”

-

“Okay, Jim—what do you want to start with?”

Lizzie let Joel take the lead, instead focusing on unpacking the first aid kit. Jimmy had stretches of clarity—or as close to clarity as he could get, she supposed. He still never knew exactly where he was or who they were, but at least it was a break from red-eyed, terrified, tearing-apart-the-room Jimmy. Those crazed spells were usually short, whatever little energy he had burning out after less than an hour.

She watched as Jimmy unclasped the cloak around his neck, then, with fumbling fingers, pulled at the ties of his corset until it came loose. His clothes were far grander than anything he’d ever worn before, all brocaded silver and glittering cyan. From there, in his loose tunic of a shirt and tight black trousers, Jimmy paused. He considered something for a moment, then leaned over, slipping off his soft shoes without untying them. Wool socks followed, then he paused again. He looked up at Lizzie and Joel, eyes darting between them.

“You don’t have to do both at once,” Joel reassured him. Jimmy nodded. “Pick one, pants or shirt. We can do it one at a time. And we have fresh clothes for you, so we can wash those ones.”

Jimmy frowned at that, but said nothing. He stood from where he had sat on the edge of the bed, shimmying off his trousers in short, jerky movements.

Lizzie braced herself, biting her lip. She had no idea what to expect—she hoped there would be nothing, but what if there wasn’t? What if his legs were black and blue, from the waist to the ankles? What would she do then?

Luckily, her fears were unfounded. There were a couple of bruises around his shins and knees, and a few small scars around those and his ankles, but those could have been ascribed to general clumsiness. His tunic dropped down to cover his thighs, but that was just fine. He deserved a bit of modesty. The most concerning sight was the short scratches up and down both legs. Clearly, that habit had not been reserved to his arms.

She wasn’t quite sure why Jimmy scratched himself. She and Joel were about ready to put mittens on his hands just to stop it (he already wore fingerless gloves all the time, it hopefully wouldn’t be too much of an adjustment). It didn’t seem like something he was conscious of, which was a relief. It was just something that happened when he went into those frenzied states of panic.

“All right, we’ll clean those up,” Joel murmured, reaching out to Lizzie. Wordlessly, she handed him the disinfectant and a cloth. These scrapes weren’t bleeding anymore, so there would be no point in bandaging them.

Joel made quick work of it, his face scrunched up at this strange form of unasked-for intimacy—Jimmy, half-naked, standing in the middle of the room while Joel crouched at his feet, rubbing his bare legs up and down.

It all felt quite surreal to Lizzie, seeing her brother in such a vulnerable, scared position. She had expected it to be worse. She had expected physical signs of abuse, not whatever this was.

Joel straightened, wringing out the cloth on the floor, and stepped back. Before he or Lizzie could say anything like okay, you can put pants on, or are you ready to go on, Jimmy had pulled off his tunic and dropped it on the floor.

Lizzie’s breath left her body before she even registered what she was looking at. Jimmy’s torso was scarred from the collarbone to the waist: brown marks from burns, red swathes from wide cuts, raised white lumps from who knew what. One scar in particular stood out—a long, ugly mark, burst out from the skin instead of inflicted on, right atop an obviously displaced rib.

Among the scars were bruises, most in various shades of brown and yellow, but some here and there (particularly on his stomach) a deep purple. The most disturbing bruises littered his neck and shoulders and chests—hickeys—and in patches on his upper arms and throat—handprints.

Under the violent colors of his body, Jimmy’s stomach was shrunken, skin hanging off his ribs. His tiny frame was explained, now—he was malnourished to the point of sickliness, this sight giving vivid context to his sharpened cheekbones and sunken eyes.

Distantly, Lizzie heard Joel say something, then the door open and close. Still, she stared at her brother’s chest. She was removed from her body, numb to the world. For a moment, all she could think was of how easy it would have been to get rid of those scars. All that would have been needed was a health potion or poultice before it began to heal on its own. Her brother could have been okay—or not okay, but he could have still looked as handsome as he once had.

She met his eyes, finding them confused.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked, voice coming as if from far away. Lizzie shrugged helplessly. For what must’ve been the millionth time, she asked herself how she could have let this happen. She should have noticed the warning signs—at the engagement, at the wedding, at every moment past that.

She couldn’t be mad at herself—it would solve nothing; she needed to be here with Jimmy right now, helpful and productive.

But she could be mad at Scott Smajor.

She could very easily be mad at Scott Smajor.

“Jimmy,” she said, voice even somehow. Jimmy quirked a brow—such a familiar expression on his drawn face. “Is there anywhere else Smajor punished you?”

Jimmy said nothing.

Joel reentered the room, face pale with a greenish tinge, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Lizzie wasn’t surprised at such a reaction—she would have believed that a battle had been fought on Jimmy’s chest if someone had told her so. Before she could ask him if he was going to be okay, he pointed to a part of his body that Lizzie had averted her eyes from for Jimmy’s privacy.

On the inside of his thighs, just below his boxers, were light purple and brown bruises of fingerprints, as if someone had grabbed them and . . . forced them apart.

Oh.

Without knowing how or when, Lizzie was crying. She hadn’t even considered that Smajor’s abuse had extended beyond beatings. She had forgotten that Jimmy was married to him, had been sleeping in the same bed as the elf for half a year. Had there been many instances of (she couldn’t even bring herself to say it in her mind, when Jimmy had lived it, what was wrong with her) that, or just the one time recently enough that the bruises were still there?

“I’m sorry,” said Jimmy, his voice crashing into her like an unexpected wave. She blinked, saw the way that he tugged at the ends of his boxers, shifted his legs. He was uncomfortable—why wouldn’t he be? They were practically staring at his crotch—and Lizzie quickly turned her gaze on his face, his watery eyes and blushing fins.

“Jimmy,” she said, voice wavering, “I have to ask you this. Did—” she heard Joel choke on a sob, and nearly fell apart— “did Smaj—did Scott—ever . . . make you have sex when you didn’t want to?”

Jimmy frowned, clearly confused. “I—what? Why—why would he—?” Something dawned in his eyes, but quickly got shut away. “No, I consented,” he said, as firm as he could. Lizzie bit her lip.

“Were there times you—you weren’t able to?”

“I—well, when I—we’re married, you know?” Jimmy said, an almost desperate note in his voice. “My body belongs to him.”

“No,” Joel muttered from behind Lizzie, “No no no, no. . . .”

“Jimmy.” Lizzie pushed as much strength into her voice as she could bear. “Was there ever a time when you didn’t want to? Or when you were asleep, and he didn’t ask?”

Jimmy stared into the distance, open confusion on his face. “Asleep—asleep counts? ‘Cuz—’cuz sometimes I’d wake up to—or after a punishment, before I—but it’s okay, it was okay. We’re married. He doesn’t—he doesn’t have to ask.”

“Yes he does,” Joel moaned. Lizzie motioned for him to be quiet.

“Did that ever make you uncomfortable?”

Jimmy shrugged helplessly. “I don’t—I don’t know,” he said eventually, his voice small. “I—I’m confused. My head—can we finish?”

Lizzie turned to Joel, who looked as if he might be sick again. The tip of his nose and his eyes were red, the rest of his face deathly pale. She couldn’t imagine she looked much better. He met her eyes, a plea of some sorts in his.

“We can’t have known,” she told him. Her mind went back to the last time she’d seen Jimmy—at the Cod Empire, when he’d let her in for tea. He had seemed normal, if a bit distant and jumpy. He had very clearly been in love with Smajor, too—as soon as the elf had entered the room, he’d practically leapt into his arms and had clung to him until the two left. There was no way she could have known Smajor was mistreating him.

That’s what she told herself, at least. Some small voice in the back of her head reminded her that Jimmy had flinched when she touched him, hadn’t paid attention to news about the salmon armies, hadn’t really looked her in the eyes at any point. There had been something wrong—she’d just been so busy worrying about her own life that she hadn’t bothered to notice.

“Okay. Jimmy, we’re going to help you clean up, all right? Have you—do you want a health potion?”

Jimmy shook his head instantly. “Please, no. I don’t—I don’t like them,” he finished lamely. Lizzie didn’t press. Jimmy clearly wasn’t used to being allowed boundaries, she wasn’t going to take something so small from him.

“Joel? Will you be able to help?”

Joel swallowed, then nodded. Together, they wrapped Jimmy’s body in bandages, applying bruise cream where possible. When asked about his ribs, Jimmy hemmed and hawed a bit, but eventually told them that at least two of them were broken. Those they constricted, hoping they were pushed into the correct place to heal. They worked in turns—Joel held his left hand while Lizzie gently washed a cut, Lizzie held his left hand (Jimmy wouldn’t let them touch the right one, she didn’t know why, but didn’t feel like pushing her luck and asking) while Joel dabbed the ointment on his neck. They worked in silence, tears on no one’s face drying. When they were finished, Lizzie and Joel both offered Jimmy a hug. He refused both of them. Then they left, trembling from head to toe, the leftover medical supplies split between them. The door closed and they both broke down.

-

Jimmy tried not to think about the questions Lizzie had asked. They hurt his head so very, very much. Perhaps it was this avoidance that led to the newer questions—still difficult, but far simpler than the last ones.

“Jimmy, did Scott let you eat?”

Jimmy almost laughed. He knew they thought Scott was abusive, but he wasn’t. There was no way. “Of course I ate,” he answered, rolling his eyes—just slightly!—at her. Lizzie seemed undeterred, though, sitting beside him on the bed.

The bed and the single chair were the only furniture in the room. Jimmy knew that one of them stayed in the chair every night, in case he broke something in the room and they could know right away what happened. There was nothing else: after the first night, when Jimmy had gotten so incredibly anxious without Scott and torn apart the room, they had removed any excess. The once-lovely bookshelf with its once-lovely books, the beautifully-carved wardrobe, the bedside table and the chest—all gone.

“How often? Regular meals?” Lizzie pressed. “Three times a day, every day?”

Jimmy sighed. “I eat when Scott eats, all right? Like normal people.”

“Three times a day, every day?” Lizzie repeated.

“Yes, all right? When Scott’s home, I eat three times a day.”

Lizzie nodded. “Good,” she said. Then she frowned. “Wait a second. What about when Scott isn’t home?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you eat when Scott’s not at home?”

Jimmy frowned. Was he missing something? Was this a trick? “I don’t eat when Scott’s not home.”

Lizzie’s face dropped. “How often is he away?”

“All the time,” Jimmy said. At this point, he was fairly certain that these people weren’t going to try to ambush Scott or sneak into his home. He wasn’t quite sure why, but he trusted them. They almost seemed to care about him—which was impossible, of course, since only Scott could care about him. But it was nice. “At least once a week, I think. He’s usually gone for a while.”

“Why don’t you eat while he’s gone?” asked Lizzie. Jimmy’s frown deepened. What was there that she wasn’t getting? He ate when Scott ate, so he ate normally. “Is it a rule?”

“Well, no,” Jimmy tried to explain. “I’m not really good at cooking, though. Not that it matters, I can’t very well get food while I’m in the room, can I?”

Lizzie froze. She had been playing with her hair, kicking her feet a bit, but now she was still as stone. “The . . . the room?”

Jimmy turned his eyes down, mentally tracing over the embroidery on the blanket. This was something he was embarrassed about. Imagine being such a baby that you throw a fit every time your husband leaves. He should be able to control it, everyone else could. He was just too clingy, too childish, too stupid.

“I can’t . . . I don’t . . . I don’t behave myself, if Scott leaves me out,” he whispered, arms around himself in a hug. He wished Scott was hugging him. “I—I get really sca—anxious. I break things. And I broke a lot of Scott’s things. So he has to keep me in a room while he’s—while he’s gone. So that anything I break won’t be important.”

“Oh, Jimmy. . . .”

“Don’t—stop doing that! Stop—stop—” Jimmy stood, crossed the room. His fingers wouldn’t stop tapping, pulling on the newly-scarring burn on the back of his hand. They pitied him, it was so clear, and he knew he was an idiot, but he didn’t need to hear about it! “I know, okay? I get it! I know that I’m stupid, I know what everyone says about me!”

Lizzie stood as well, hands out placatingly. “Jimmy, I—”

“I’ve heard them, all right! I know I’m the worst, that I only care about silly things, that my head’s waterlogged—I’ve heard it all!” Jimmy’s hands tugged at his too-long hair in his frustration, right hand smarting. “And I’m so dumb, just like a dumb little dog, who has separation anxiety—I know I should be rational, and Scott’s coming back, but—I can’t—what if he doesn’t—”

“You’re hyperventilating, Jimmy, please—”

“—And he leaves—and—and—just me—I can’t—I won’t live—” he pulled harder, an itch inside that he just couldn’t get out. His hands scratched down his face, then his neck, frantically scrabbling at his bandaged chest before finding the wall. He tore at the wall, frenzied, terrified—what if Scott was gone? What if he got hurt? What if he died? What if he decided to leave Jimmy, because he was so terribly stupid, and Scott deserved better? Scott did deserve better, Scott deserved everything Jimmy couldn’t give him—

“What’s going on?”

“It’s—I think he’s having one of his fits again—”

“Jimmy, look at me. It’s Joel, Jim. Can you hear me?”

Their voices were coming from far away, Jimmy’s head filling with a buzzing sound. Scott wasn’t here, Scott had left him, Scott wasn’t going to come back and he was going to be all alone and stuck in this room and he would die, he would die without Scott—

He fell to his knees, pulling on his clothes and pounding on the floor. He needed Scott, he needed to not be alone, he needed hugs and kisses and help—

Some distant part of him registered the door closing, and he sobbed.

-

“We can’t go to anyone else,” Lizzie shouted, throwing her hands in the air. “We can’t—any one of them could tell him!”

“Pix is safe,” Joel said stubbornly. “He’s one of Jimmy’s oldest allies, he would never—”

“You said yourself that everyone trusts Smajor, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Someone will hear, someone will tell him, somehow he’ll find out! And we can’t let him get Jimmy again!”

“Okay!’ Joel yelled over her. Lizzie fell silent. “We can’t tell anyone. How much evidence do we need before we can take this to the council?”

Lizzie wiped furiously at her eyes. “We know that he physically, s-sexually, and emotionally abused Jimmy. We know he locked him in a room alone for hours or days at a time without food. We have proof in Jimmy—his—his scars, his bruises, his—mental state, but Jimmy will never testify! He—he loves that—that monster!”

Joel pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes scrunched closed. “I know,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m trying. You’re trying. Jimmy, even though he doesn’t look it, is trying. We need a plan if we can’t tell anyone, and it has to have failsafes. I think we should start with getting Jimmy comfortable, yeah?”

Lizzie sniffled, then nodded. As much as she wanted to put the ruler of Rivendell away for good, they had to take care of Jimmy first. “I want to let him out of his room, but. . . .” she gestured vaguely around. “He might try to signal Smajor. Or Smajor might see him. Or someone else. Word would spread, one way or another.”

“I’m not arguing you on this,” Joel said. “We can’t let Jimmy out in the open. It’s too dangerous. What can we do? How can we start?”

“Okay,” said Lizzie, pushing away her anger and grief and everlasting shock. They had to think. “So . . . he can maybe stay on this floor? It’s under sea level, so he shouldn’t be spotted.”

“That works for me. Maybe we can try to find some food he likes, so that he actually eats a normal amount?”

Lizzie frowned. What was Joel saying with that? “Has he . . . not been?”

Joel groaned, took a step back. His eyes roved aimlessly, searching through his memory as if it were laid out in front of him. Eventually, he sighed. “I thought I told you that,” he said ruefully. “Jimmy’s not really been eating. He tries,” he hurried to add, “he always tries to eat what I bring in. But it’s never more than a few bites, and he clearly doesn’t enjoy them.”

It was as if every time she felt like she had semi-stable footing, it was yanked out from under her. Every time she thought there could be nothing more wrong with Jimmy, there was another bombshell. Why couldn’t he just be fine?

It’s not Jimmy’s fault, she reminded herself. He was a victim to a horrible, horrible person. Whatever happened, they couldn’t lead Jimmy to believe that it was his fault he was taken advantage of in so many ways. That could hinder any sort of recovery irrevocably.

“Joel, I—” she cut off, tears threatening to spill over. She swallowed several times, trying to gather herself. They had cried over this so much already. How much more would they discover, how many more tears would they cry? “I don’t know what to do,” she finished in a small voice.

Joel opened his arms, and she instantly fell into him. Slowly, they slid to the floor, her crying, him petting her hair and making soft noises of comfort.

“We just have to do what we can,” he murmured eventually, rubbing her back as she sobbed into his chest. “You’re doing so well already. We got him out of there, didn’t we? He needs your love right now. All we can do is our best, and show him he has people who love him, yeah?”

She nodded against him, taking one more moment of vulnerability before pulling away, wiping her face on his sleeve.

“Gross,” he laughed, pushing her off. She smiled, trying desperately not to let it crack. She could be there for Jimmy. She could protect her little brother again.