#sorry for being annoying anyway to actually add to this post you had the correct idea to pick a name with the same meaning as hershel

[darkartistyt]

HERA-LEE MENTION?!

Hershel Haturday means Horse time!

And a bonus because of some tags on the Flora post yesterday!

My first major hyperfixation was MLP after all :D

[nsharks]

bleeding blue | apocalypse au

part nine —other parts

pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader words: 3.2k tags: death. blood. zombies of course. reader menstruates. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn't here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: no comment

The beam gave a nasty cut to your hand.

Tetanus, blood, infections— more threats.

You sit on a rock by the river to fix it up. Before you can dab on the hydrogen peroxide from your new med kit, Blue insists on doing it for you— soft fingertips against your broken skin. She is by far a gentler nurse than her father. You focus on her pink cheeks and scrunched nose as she concentrates. It helps you ignore the sting.

"You scared the shit out of me for a second there, Twix.”

"Sorry. I guess I need to work on my balance."

She gives a stilted laugh. The gauze comes next, just a thin layer since the bleeding has already stopped.

"Thanks for asking him to help me," you add in a whisper. You smile. "I don't think I've ever had a friend save my life so many times."

Blue cuts the gauze and begins tying it off. "I didn't actually have to ask him this time, you know. Like I said, he doesn’t hate you.”

You glance to where Ghost has taken the short break to lean against a tree and drink some water, pale jaw and pink lips exposed. An actual human hides under all that gear and horrifying mask. It annoys you that he doesn't just take it off.

You look back at her, eyes rolling. “You're lying."

She closes the med kit and shrugs. “Friends don't lie."

The afternoon sun bleeds white light over your cheeks as the three of you keep walking. Just meters away from the river, Ghost points out a small cabin. One that hunters used back in the day, you bet. He says it could be a good place to stay for the night. The scent of the rushing water nearby should do some to mask your human scent.

Rolling hills take place of the trees. To the west, you can see the faint outline of mountains dipped in white snow. Well, as much of mountains as you can find in England. They are not nearly as tall as the ones your parents used to take you skiing to in France.

You grow quiet and let Blue do all the talking. Maybe you are embarrassed after almost falling into the river.

Just when she asks - How much further? - something strange pops up in the distance. White medical tents— well, you assume they were once white. They are now torn and grey, with some blue crates beneath them. Confusion swells in your chest and you can't help but speak up.

"Why is this all here?" you ask, your boots stepping over some stray medical tools. Scalpels, tweezers, and syringes. Pressed into the rich earth like fossils. You would pick them up if they weren't rusted past the point of being useful.

"I don't know," Blue answers. "Ghost?"

"Emergency medical camp the military set up," he says. 

"After shit happened?" she asks.

He gives a curt nod as he looks around at the remnants. "Those that were left were tryin' to help survivors in the first few days. Didn't last long, though."

"Is that what your friends were doing after you ditched them?"

"Told you, kid. They weren't my friends."

"Alright, teammates. Whatever. Were they helping with injured people here?" she asks curiously.

"A few of them were.”

Blue looks at you. "Twix, did I ever tell you about that?"

"Um. About what?"

"Well, Ghost was supposed to be working when shit happened," she raises her brows and juts a thumb at him. "But he snuck away from his post to get all our stuff and come find me and my mum."

You swallow at the mention of her mom and avoid looking at Ghost. "Snuck away?"

"Yeah," she nods, "It's called dessert."

"Desertion," he gruffly corrects her.

"What?" you ask.

"He abandoned his assignment," she explains. "But he always says he would do it again if he had to. Anyway, he used to talk to his teammates on his radio to see how they were and stuff— what was happening. But then they got too far away for it to work."

Of course Ghost had a radio.

Paul had one, too. You can remember huddling around that radio like it was a mouthpiece for some god. The static grew choppier and choppier over the first few days. The channels dwindled. Eventually, it stopped working altogether and you didn't learn much about what happened in the outside world. You did learn that London was one of the quickest cities to succumb to the infection. Then, Paris, Bangkok, and Chicago.

Everywhere.

You process the new information as you keep walking through the tents, peering into some opened crates to see if anything is left— nothing is.

Now you know Ghost left his post when he found out about the virus. He stocked up on supplies and then got Blue and her mom. By the way Blue mentions her, it must be an old loss. How long did her mother survive with them, then? Did she use to live in the cabin with them?

You don’t know why your stomach grows tight, but the questions in your brain fade once the military base comes into view.

"Finally," Blue sighs rather dramatically.

A high, chain-link fence surrounds the place. There are a few buildings and some abandoned vehicles that look like jeeps. The fence has multiple gaps cut into it so climbing is unnecessary. Ghost leads the way. You continue sniffing the air. With your bandaged hand, you keep your bow poised and subconsciously walk closer to their footsteps. 

Ghost takes you to the main building in the center. The British flag flutters beside it on a pole, faded and as meaningless as the one sewn on Ghost’s bicep.

"Are we going through the barracks again this time?" Blue perks up.

"We have to go through 'em to get to the armory,” he says.

"Cool. There might be some good shit left behind."

There isn't much good shit, actually.

You don't know what the other military base they went to was like, but this one is unsettling and seems to be ransacked. Sunlight pours in through the shattered windows. Scattered papers and strewn bones decorate the tile floors. Thick cobwebs hang in the corners.

As you walk through the hallway of old dorms, Blue and Ghost stop looking in them after the first four turn out to contain only tipped-over cots, walls smeared with old blood, and even a few scampering vermin that make her yelp and grab hold of Ghost's arm.

He grows stiffer than usual. You don’t have to pry off the skull mask to know what he is thinking. Ghost is not the only person who thought of coming here. If these rooms are mostly empty, then what is left in the armory?

Still, you check out a few more of them on your own as they walk up ahead. You rummage through closets and drawers. You find three pairs of men's socks. More useful than one might think.

In one room, you kneel down by the unkempt cot to dig a black backpack out from under it. You can’t believe that Ghost, as big as he is, ever slept on these things. The backpack’s zipper catches as you try to open it, the metal teeth rusted, so you cut a hole in the fabric with your knife. Inside, you find another military-grade knife to add to your arsenal and some wrapped ready-to-eats.

When you check the closet, the sight of a full skeleton causes you to jump back in a startled step, a few rats running out between your boots.

"Oh, fuck," you mutter, noticing a bullet hole in the skull. A handgun lies beside the body, but you discover the magazine to be empty. Whatever bullet it once had was likely spent on this person's suicide. You stick it in your bag, anyway. A preserved uniform hangs loose on the bones. There is a mouth-sized tear in the forearm of the right sleeve, fitting for a bite. In the breast pocket, a silver chain spills out. Curiously, you grab it. A dog tag with an engraved name catches the light. John MacTavish. You run a thumb over the letters.

“Sorry, John.”

You decide to respectfully put it back in the pocket, and head out, satisfied enough with your modest finds. It’s not like you own as much as Ghost does. You leave the room and run to catch back up with them.

"You okay? Find anything?" Blue asks.

"Not much," you quietly admit. "A knife and some new socks."

"Finally. Your old ones are starting to stink," she remarks with a playful smirk.

You scrunch your nose at her, making a face. “Gee, thanks."

She returns the teasing gesture just before Ghost’s arm ushers her behind him.

The moment he does, your guard rises back up. You slap an arrow onto your bow. You smell them before you see them. Four - no, five - drag out of opened doorways up ahead along with a cacophony of whistled moans. Most are still dressed in the same military uniforms as the skeleton you found. One isn't wearing anything at all. It’s disgusting.

Ghost doesn't bother to let Blue practice this time.

He shoots the faster, fresher one first as it runs up to them. For the slower ones, he saves his ammo and opts for the axe. The sight of him effortlessly striking their skulls is almost enough to distract you. Almost. Your fingers release the string and send a headshot to the last one. It is a perfect shot. An arrow straight through the milky-white eye. One of your best.

You meet his eyes just as he slips the axe back to his waist, shooting him a raised brow. The two of you hold an awkwardly long stare-off. Though you loathe to admit it, you hope for some type of approval - for once - but all he gives is a short nod.

Blue retrieves the arrow for you and you tuck it back into your quiver.

"Great aim, Twix," she quips. "Where did you learn how to use your bow?"

"My old friend taught me a bit," you say as the three of you step over the fallen corpses.

"What was his name again?"

"Paul."

"Oh, right." She pauses, and then: "Were you having sex with him?"

"Jesus Christ, kid," Ghost says.

"What?" She peers up at him.

Before he can say anything else, you answer with a light flush crawling up your neck, “No, I wasn’t. He was just my friend.”

The three of you make it to the armory.

The aluminum door is already parted open. Ghost clicks on a flashlight and gives the room a quick sweep of fluorescent light before entering.

A number of pried-open crates and olive-green cabinets litter the inside. Drawers hang open like a tornado ripped through. A few stray rifles lay scattered on the floor. Ghost picks up each one and checks for cartridges. Empty. Each rifle is thrown back on the floor with more force than the previous. He needs more ammo, not more guns.

Whatever was in this armory is gone. This truth hangs heavy in the air. The mood shifts. Blue doesn’t talk. Billows of growing frustration roll off Ghost's body as he continues to search through every crevice and every drawer for almost an hour.

You know what he is feeling, even if he half-expected this.

It is a feeling that made you cry in the empty pharmacy. For Ghost, it ends up driving a clenched fist into one of the cabinets, dented metal left in its wake. He swears explosively. Another shudder runs through your spine, stealing your breath, but it feels far different from the one his soft voice invited.

"Is there... is there anywhere else we can check, Dad?" Blue speaks up softly. “Maybe in all those cars outside?”

He takes a moment to breathe before answering. "We don't have time to check ‘em all.”

“Well, maybe we could come back in the morning and look a bit more?”

“Maybe,” he says, but you read the tone in his voice. It is unlikely there is ammo left in the vehicles, and even if there is, it is definitely not as much as he was hoping to have found in here.

Before leaving, he stuffs one of the rifles in his backpack. An uncomfortable silence consumes the journey back through the hall.

You make it outside again. The afternoon has aged. You need to get back to that hunting cabin by the river before the threat of dark.

Ghost guides you back towards the fence.

You hear Blue's soft humming. The flap of the old flag. Your own steady heartbeat.

And then, out of nowhere, he stops and grabs Blue's arm to bring her to a halt beside him. He looks around. Confused, you scan the view up ahead of you, but all that is there are a few of those military jeeps and the fence you entered through. You sniff the air. It doesn't smell particularly awful. 

Then, the cause for Ghost's unease arrives loud in your ears.

A single gunshot sounds from a direction you can't discern. Your heart stutters. The suddenness freezes you for a moment. In your peripheral, you think you catch a brush of movement in some bushes to your right.

Ghost quickly pulls Blue behind one of the vehicles for cover. Only when you feel the rush of another bullet whizzing past your shoulder do your legs finally move— so fast that your feet catch on the ground and you stumble down beside them. Your knees dig into the earth as you land on your hands, but you quickly lift up and press your shoulder against the side of the car. 

You choke. "Ghost… people."

People are fucking shooting at us, is what you mean to say. Panic steals your voice.

Who? How many?

Another bullet ricochets off the other side of the car, clanking against the metal. And then another. Glass shatters. 

Ghost doesn't respond to you. Underneath the loud sounds, a soft voice whimpers. You finally look to where Blue is propped up against the large tire, Ghost kneeling at her front. His hand is tightly clamped over the side of her right thigh, and it is now that you notice the blood soaking through her jeans and his glove.

Blue's blood.

Crimson and glistening.

She whimpers again and her fingers twist the fabric of his coat.

"Dad, it— it feels like it's burning," she cries out, her cheeks turning wet from a sudden onslaught of tears.

"Fuck. I know, baby. I know."

She flinches when another gunshot rings out. "W-What do we do?"

You try to form a proper thought— try to make sense of everything. Before you can, Ghost grabs your hand, firmly replacing his hold on her wound with yours. The warm liquid immediately drenches your palm and you swallow, pressing as hard as you can, attempting to pack it crudely.

He speaks decisively. "Stay here with her. Wrap it up.”

"Ghost, you don't know how many fucking people there are," you say, panic turning your voice into something unrecognizable as you place your other hand on his arm. The muscles tense and leap.

“I didn't fucking ask you. I am telling you. Now do it."

He doesn’t give you the opportunity to protest again, but you wouldn’t even if he did because you fully realize that this is the best course of action. He needs to get rid of them. You need to tend to her wound. A strangled cry leaves Blue's lips when he departs. You coax her with soft hushes.

"It’s okay. He'll be right back.”

Urgently, you sling the bag off your shoulder and take out your own med kit. You don’t think twice about it. Not for a second. Not when all you can think about is making sure her soft, blue eyes stay open. When you move your hand from her thigh, the sight worries and relieves you at the same time.

You don't know much about bullet wounds, but you know where the femoral artery runs, and by the looks of it, it was missed. Still, a nice chunk of her flesh has been torn, revealing obliterated muscle. You don't see any bone or bits of metal, but it is hard to see much of anything with all the blood.

With fingers that shake, you use the same gauze she nursed your hand with to begin tightly dressing her thigh. As you do, your eyes flash up and around in a feeble search for where Ghost could be, but you can’t see him from behind the vehicle.

"Is it bad?" she asks, voice laced with a tremor. When your gaze returns to her, you notice that pale lips replace her usual rosy-pink ones. Her forehead is sheened with sweat.

"It looks worse than it is," you say.

"Are you... are you telling me the truth?"

"I am. Promise," you whisper. "Friends don't lie, right?"

Sporadic gunfire continues to pierce your ears. It sounds more distant now. You have no idea if it belongs to Ghost or whoever these people are. You push the uncertainties away, assuring yourself that he can handle however many of them there are, and focus on tying off the gauze, desperate to keep her blood in.

Blue suddenly blurts out, “Twix.”

You look up and meet her eyes. They are pointed at something behind you.

[rapha-reads]

Things from Interview With The Vampire s02e04 (ep11) I noticed:

[Edit 1: Actually this turned into a live-commenting, sorry]

[Edit 2: Keep in mind, I haven't read the books, so all of these observations are born from the show itself and the few (lots of) spoilers and narrative plot points I've gleaned here and there.]

Both Claudia and Louis are so bored with the coven. Or maybe bored isn't the word, but... Done? Frustrated and annoyed? Restless? Louis because he never intended to join and so cares not all for all their internal affairs. Claudia because she thought she'd finally have the life she wanted and instead is being forced to relive the tragedy of her life day after day.

And Armand rejoices in drawing them further apart, scolding and punishing Claudia while begging scraps from Louis.

And he's soooo jealous. The face he makes when Louis starts explaining what Dreamstat feels like is priceless.

Also, personal theory: either Louis is indeed suffering psychotic breaks after psychotic breaks, or just manifesting his own version of Lestat because he doesn't want to let go. Or Lestat can astral project and has been stalking Louis from the moment they left New Orleans.

The coven is tearing itself apart. And normally I'd add "and Armand isn't even seeing it/taking it seriously yet" but given that the whole of them are unreliable narrators and that Armand is a shady ass bitch whose only agenda is himself, I'd say he's well aware and purposefully making it worse.

I can't make sense of Santiago yet, though. Is he jealous? Ambitious? Is he fond of Claudia? Does he hate her? He definitely hates Louis, but is it just jealousy or real antipathy? Oh, but Louis is still my precious special kitten and that speech about Paris, art and modernity, as a contemporary culture student, made me vibrate a little out of my chair, and Santiago clowning him makes me want to claw his face. We get it, you hate him and you think he's pretentious, now can you shut up and let us talk a bit more about the art scene in Paris post-WW2 and why Louis is absolutely right, Picasso isn't all that impressive in the end? Thanks. Bacon tho, Bacon is interesting. My contemporary art teacher last year was excruciatingly boring, but he had a boner for both Louise Bourgeois and Bacon and we spent several hours on them (and not nearly enough about Mapplethorne, alas). Anyway. I feel ya, Lou. I have been called pretentious too for simply getting excited about art, culture and folkore.

I'm rooting for Louis and Claudia to kill them all off and run away to Italy. I know it won't happen, but one can dream, eh.

Is Armand messing up with both Daniel by getting into his mind and Louis by switching the photos? Interesting. Two people who have a shitton of issues stuck with a sadistic, insecure and bitter control freak who's been pulling the threads since way before anyone realises. And Louis is so lost in his trauma and grief and anger, he trusts Armand and doesn't see what's happening and been happening to him for 70 years, while Daniel is just a sad, sick old man who thinks he knows his life and what his future entails. Armand is definitely having fun.

"Je n'aime pas fenêtre quand fermée" is NOT FRENCH, MY EARS. I will be picky, I don't care for artistic licence. Correct sentence would be "je n'aime pas les fenêtres quand elles sont fermées". Admittedly, if it goes into a song, you'd have to respect the length of the line and all those musical measures. But still. You could shorten the numbers of syllables by dropping the language register: "j'aime pas les f'nêtres quand elles sont fermées" ; from 12 or 13 to 9, the original line being 8 or 9. Depending on whether you say "je-n'ai-me-pas" or "je-n'aim-pas" and "fe-nê-tres" or "fe-nêtres". Anyway. I'm sure the writers had those discussions (I hope; hey, AMC, hire me, I'm a good proofreader and I speak 5 languages).

Me: oh, Louis isn't even bothering now, he's directly talking to... Wait, is Lestat eating that photo? If it's Dreamstat: the hell is going on in your head, Louis? If it's Astral Lestat: that is certainly a choice, my friend.

"Barely Balthasar", LMAO, Lestat I fucking love you. Poor Balthasar always gets forgotten in adaptations. Nope, we're not here to talk R&J, moving on.

Armand: "this is my tragic backstory. Feel pity for me. I'm the good guy." Me: yeaaah, how much of this is actually real? And, uh, no, like Lestat said: ha! You're a storyteller and a conman, Armand. You weave your story to pluck at the heart's threads of your audience, modulating it to their sensibilities to better serve your own interests and your plans. What are those interests, these plans? Hell if I know. But I absolutely do not trust you at all.

HANDS OFF CLAUDIA OR I'LL BITE

"The wilderness that is our daughter" have I said lately how much I love Lestat.

Oh, hello, the Loustat scene on the bench just broke my heart, which is funny if you consider that that's just Louis breaking up with himself. Also, do we consider Louis knew about the initials in the pocket, and Dreamstat is saying what Louis wants him to say, or is it another unreliable narrator Louis, or is it Lestat himself...?

Aw, going from the Loumand scene on the bench to "toxic gay divorce with body count" sure is a tonal shift. Lmao. You're losing your touch, Armand. Louis' awakening. Daniel's awakening... San Francisco next, that will be fun. Excited to see how they've changed that part, knowing it's the red thread of the first book.

...

Oooh, that got long. Apologies. I really need to sit and read those books.

[sxcret-garden]

4 & 23 for the meta writer asks please! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) (@igbylicious)

aaa thank you you two for sending something in!! i hope it's okay i put together your asks into one post for... obvious reasons :')

i'm doing okay, i hope you guys are doing well too!!! <3

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

Not sure how far back into childhood I should go here, because i've literally been making up my own stories for as long as I can remember... so I think I'll go with the one that's stuck with me all the way until now! It's basically an original idea set in a dystopian future and follows a bunch of adolescents as they rise up against "the system" (yes I know that sounds awfully familiar to the ateez stans here but I had this idea back in like 2015 so if anything they stole from me-) and I did write the full story once but I'm really not happy with how it turned out, plus I want to make a bunch of changes to the story and the characters, so at one point I really hope I manage to write that whole thing again^^

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

(technically three people asked me about this now, so i'm very tempted to put three scenes here but.... i think the post will get way too long then ajskdfjödlask unless of course... someone asks nicely...? 👉👈 anyway, the scene is under the cut~)

“It can happen,” Yeosang assures you, while the alarm goes off, shaking the whole table as it vibrates, and Wooyoung immediately grabs it and gets up. You’re glad he’s at least being useful in that regard - otherwise you’re not sure why Yeosang brought his friend from an entirely different major along to your café date of hell.

“He insisted,” your teammate tells you upon posing your question. “Actually I don’t know why I brought him either.”

“Excuse me?!” Wooyoung exclaims in offense as he returns with your order, having heard his friend’s reply. But Yeosang is quick to wave it off.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” To your surprise his loud friend merely sits down while eyeing him with a doubtful expression, but he doesn’t say anything more to that. Finding yourself more fascinated than anything else by their dynamic, you shake your head eventually and redirect your attention to the screen in front of you. 

“I’ll send you the parts so we can go over them together,” you announce as you’re already dropping the files into your kakao chat with Yeosang, the familiar tone coming from the speakers of his laptop signaling an incoming message that tells you he received them quickly. Wooyoung leans in, nosily looking at the files his friend is opening.

“Looks good… if you ignore the formatting,” Yeosang shades, making you chuckle, and Wooyoung lets you hear a loud “Hey!”

“You didn’t do yours any better!” he teases Yeosang, attempting to pinch his side but his friend evades the attack. 

“Personal space,” he just remarks, pushing Wooyoung away with his flat palm against his cheek. Once again you find yourself fascinated by their cartoonish behaviour most of all, but you don’t comment on what just unfolded in front of your eyes. “And also, mine doesn’t look very interesting, but at least it has the correct formatting.”

“Yeah, this professor doesn’t really have an eye for aesthetics,” you add, grinning yet unhappy about the way the paper you were supposed to put together looks overly sterile. “But I guess that’s what science wants.”

“Well, the contents are what matters,” Yeosang adds, this time not defending himself when Wooyoung throws an arm around his shoulders, but you can tell he’s not happy about the pda. With curious eyes he leans in, skimming through the text on Yeosang’s screen, and you give him an annoyed sigh. You really just want to finish this damn project already, before it consumes any more of your nerves. 

“Oh. Sorry,” Wooyoung grins as he notices your distress, moving away from the computer as he straightens his back, and you’re not sure what to make of his reaction. Telling yourself to focus on the problem at hand instead of him, you begin pasting the text into one collective document, while Yeosang starts reading through everything in search of any possible errors.

“Looks good,” he eventually announces, and you agree, having joined him in proofreading everything. 

“You two sure are fast,” Wooyoung comments, and he shoots you a gaze filled with mischief.

“This is the tenth time we read through these, so…” you explain.

“I see… Yeosang here told me about how horrible the others were to work with,” the guy sitting next to your classmate continues.

“You’re also horrible to work with, and you’re not even a part of this,” Yeosang mutters under his breath, causing you to chuckle, and Wooyoung immediately complains.

not @ me putting a wall of text in here, but I'm just really proud of how the bickering between Yeosang and Wooyoung turned out here hehe plus it was a lot of fun to write too^^ this is probably still one of my fav scenes from this fic, and it doesn't even have the guy it's about in it :')

(this is from chapter 3 of my jongho fic btw^^)

[bellesowl]

head over heels

- multiple characters

⤷ kuroo, iwaizumi, atsumu, sakusa 

genre: fluff!! ; established relationship

synopsis: in which they realize how head over heels they are for you

word count: 1.4k total :))

warnings: very very slight manga spoilers in iwa’s, i kinda curse a little

- a/n: hi! this is very very late for valentines but i wanted to post it anyways! also, this is very cheesy but when is anything i write not cheesy anyways? & please, i literally write for the same four people BYEE. oh & thank u @omisluvr for beta-ing this ily mwah

- kuroo tetsurou

he falls for your quick wit & intelligence 

we all know that kuroo is known for his wit and for being a big, big nerd LMAOAKJSC 

i think he would appreciate a s/o who’s on his level academically & could compete with him, esp cause he’s so competitive

and we know how quick with his words this man is- it’s probably one of the reasons tsukishima actually listens to this mf tbh

i feel like he would want a s/o who could bite back and put him in his place every once in a while

probably finds it super hot 

“tetsurou!” you yell, glaring at him. 

he raises his hands in alarm, amusement and mischief swimming in his eyes. he had embarrassed you in front of the whole class, immediately correcting you when you claimed that the reaction on the board was an endothermic reaction when in reality, it was an exothermic reaction. sure, he was right, but he didn’t have to point it out like that!

“what?” he questions, “it’s not my fault you lacked docosapentaenoic acid when you were a child.” he finishes with a smug smirk on his face. 

the scowl on your face morphs into a smirk at his words and his own falls at your face. “i think you mean docosahexaenoic acid, oh wise one?” you ask, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

he recovers quickly, yelling about how easy it is to mistake the two. at your laugh, he realizes just how lucky he and whipped he is for you because this? he wouldn’t trade this for the world.

- iwaizumi hajime 

he falls for your independence 

lord knows that having to deal with oikawa practically all his life + the seijoh third years, my man would not be able to deal with a s/o who is super dependent on him

sure, he finds it cute when you’re being clingy & want a hug or a kiss but someone who constantly insecure or is just overall emotionally dependent on him - i feel like it would be a slight turnoff 

now, if you feel insecure, tell him because he would also def appreciate your honesty and that wouldn’t necessarily be seen as a problem

it becomes a problem when you push all your problems onto him and expect him to fix it

but a s/o who can work out their problems on their own but still comes to him for advice and support?

yeah, he’s def in love

you hear a knock on your door and quickly move to open it, hoping it’s who you think it is.

“hey love,” hajime sighs as you usher him into your home, “i’m so sorry i’ve been so busy lately, with volleyball and all the extra applications to be able to move to the states, it’s been a lot.”

you nod, understanding written on your face. “don’t worry about it babe, i get it! do you need any help with anything?”

he shakes his head, instead choosing to wrap his arms around you, nuzzling his nose in your hair and breathing in your intoxicating scent. “being with you is enough. i really am sorry though, did you need anything?”

you shift slightly, guiding him over to the couch and cuddling up to him there, “all i need is this, hajime.”

he kisses the top of your head and while you both talk about everything and nothing, and it hits him that this is it. you’re it for him - because when he’s with you, he feels like he’s home.

- miya atsumu 

he falls for your unrelenting support

i think we all know that atsumu was left out a lot as a kid & i think that one of his biggest fears is that his loving s/o secretly prefers his brother like everyone else

so he probably tries to scare you off by showing his ugly side first- like constantly arguing with you or canceling dates in favor of an extra hour or two of volleyball practice- and you stay? 

he realizes that no matter what, you won’t leave him

“oi! what are ya still doin’ here, slug?” osamu yells, walking into the gym.

“what do ya think? havin’ a tea party?” atsumu quips back, annoyed that his brother interrupted his practice. 

osamu grabs a ball by his feet and chucks it at his brother. “do ya even know what time it is?” at atsumu’s look of confusion he decides that you’re too good for his idiot brother. “it’s already past 8, you’re late for yer movie date with y/n.”

atsumu’s eyes widen and osamu rolls his eyes at his brother’s frantic form, trying to clean up and get out of there as quickly as he can. “just go, i’ll stay to clean up.” osamu sighs, “but you owe me onigiri for a week!” 

back at your house, you’re sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for your boyfriend- who’s late, again. you jump at the frantic knocks at your front door and you open it to a very sweaty, very disheveled atsumu. 

“shit sorry babe! i left my phone on the bleachers and lost track of time but-” you cut him off with a kiss. his eyes widen before fluttering shut. 

“go shower, tsumu- you stink!” you laugh at his scowl “we can probably still get a couple movies in before my parents get back home.” 

he nods, “i really am sorry babe. i didn’t mean to come late, i just got so caught up in my serves and sets and i-”

“it’s fine love, you have to practice to get better, i understand. i would never tell you to skip out on something so important to you when you make sure to come see me in the end anyway.” you interrupt him, “and besides, i love to brag about how my boyfriend is one of the best setters in the nation” you add with a wink. 

he gives you a peck on the cheek before heading towards your bathroom, thinking about how lucky he is to have you by his side. he decides that this will be the last time he’s late because god forbid he does something to ruin something as precious as this. 

- sakusa kiyoomi

he falls for your respectful and understanding attitude

my poor baby

probably had to deal with getting so much shit for his germophobic preferences 

so when you guys started dating he def asked you to respect his boundaries 

and when you did without questioning him?? or making fun of him?? 

he was shocked because even his own cousin would have something to say about his proclivity for extreme cleanliness

you walk into the huge stadium, eyes searching for a mop of black hair, slightly terrified of getting lost. out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash of neon green & yellow.

“komori!” you yell, hoping he could hear you over the excited chatter all around. you see him whip his head around, trying to find the source of the sound. you yell a couple more times, jumping up and down like a lunatic. he finally spots you and smiles, walking over.

“oh, hey! are you here for kiyoomi?” he asks with a mischievous glint in his eyes, already leading you over to where your boyfriend is, “but i have no clue why you would look for him in the middle of the floor. don’t you know your boyfriend by now?”

you slap him lightly on the arm but excuse yourself when you see your boyfriend hiding in the corner with the most hateful glare on his face. as you walk away and towards him, you notice komori walking over to a tall, dark-haired boy. that must be the setter omi was telling me about, you think. you brush it off, deciding you’d bring it up another time and you tap your boyfriend lightly. the glare he gives you almost makes you want to drop dead right there but you notice how his eyes soften and his overall demeanor brightens.

he pulls you towards him, surprising you and everyone watching, and mumbles into your ear, “i thought you had a tutoring session?”

you pull back slightly and notice how he leans down, practically asking for a kiss. you peck his cheek before giggling, “i wanted it to be a surprise! are you surprised? did you miss me?”

he rolls his eyes before pulling down his mask and kissing you properly. “yes and ... yes” he answers, a light blush apparent on his cheeks.

“awwww! you have a crush on me!!! no, you looove me!! that’s so embarrassing!!” you laugh and he shakes his head but silently agrees because yeah, if the permanent butterflies and erratic heartbeat are any indications, he does love you. and he doesn’t plan on stopping for the rest of your lives.

[wildermouse]

another thing about ‘my autism’ is that i’ve always been very good at masking. i have a sister (likely also on the spectrum, definitely adhd) who was much better than me socially (actually really good at making friends, though she does have social anxiety) but her support needs at home were much higher. she’s always had extreme sensory issues particularly with sound and visual stimulants like someone wiggling their feet or fidgeting with things (though she needs to do these things herself, she can’t stand to see others do them). her issues were so severe she could hear humming of electricity etc nobody else could or someone breathing just a little too loud and she would have full meltdowns (looked a lot like angry upset tantrums). she would scream and slam things and throw things and break things. so i learned VERY early on to suppress any stims and to watch for when she would start to get irritated. i also learned early on that my own sensory issues were not as bad as hers, so in my head they weren’t serious and didn’t matter and i didn’t need to upset people to have my own needs met. on a positive note though it did make me very sympathetic & empathetic to others’ needs in that sense.

so i really don’t know to what extent my outward stimming would look like if i hadn’t taught myself to suppress them from such a young age. i do stim now quite frequently but they’re fairly subtle. ‘socially acceptable’ stims for the most part.

since learning about autism and masking and unmasking, on top of just generally being Over It™️ at this point, i have started unmasking a bit. still there’s a lot that’s just been suppressed so long it’s gone forever, or things i don’t even know i’m masking, but i’ve started allowing myself more freely to rock on my feet when i’m standing around waiting for something (like at a store checkout or in line for things), i don’t try so much to force eye contact. i make much less eye contact now and i will admit that fills me with nearly as much anxiety as if i were to force eye contact because i can tell i’m being ‘odd’ and they’re judging me for it. i’ve also stopped partaking in small talk or just conversations that have no interest to me or i find annoying. this is mostly when it comes to talking to my dad, but i also stopped with the small talk near the end of my time at my old job. i don’t completely ignore people, i just don’t put effort into keeping the conversation going when i don’t want it to. it makes more sense if you were to witness it. i just don’t like faking things so i’m not gonna fake interest when it’s not there. because of this though, my dad calls me rude a lot. he calls me mean and rude because i don’t entertain his idea of conversation (which is all very self centred and repetitive and meaningless). i’m not here to boost your ego, not sorry. he also calls me rude if i correct or point out a mistake he’s made. or make a remark that is just a true fact. i have an issue with people outwardly assuming (and believing) things that probably aren’t true, and people thinking what they said is correct when it actually is false. i can’t not correct it. anyway that’s getting a bit off topic.

yeah i don’t really have a conclusion this is just a ‘thinking out loud’ kinda post to add to my autism tag

[ranboo5]

Dropping the Ranboo mixtape

Anyway at time of starting to write this post I had two likes and two affirmative replies, which is Good Enough For Me, so here I am :D I was gonna link the YT but on second thought my YT channel is a mess so this is gonna be one of the annoying ones that doesn’t link to one you can actually listen to but 

This is also a running list and currently organized roughly by increasingly hotter takes and it’s under a cut bc it’s 13 songs and I justified all of them 

Everybody Likes You (Lemon Demon) - LISTEN THE ANIMATION MEMES WEREN’T LYING THAT EVERYBODY LIKES YOU CAN RANBOOCORE. The increasingly distorted, incredibly bright repetition of EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU until you can hear it morphing in and out of EVERYBODY LIED TO YOU? Tell Me That’s Not Him In The Spiral Depths 

Tall (Naps the Block on YT) - This is a) literally a theme for the End, b) sounds stumbling and anxious/high-strung, and c) echoes the Pigstep melody in the middle while still very much doing its own thing this is self explanatory 

Dance of Thorns/Old Secret mashup (Tensei and James Roach respectively, feat. woodfur00 on YT) (yes this is Homestuck music) - It’s just the vibes. The energy. The way the elegance of the violin lines of Dance of Thorns sounds almost nervous especially against the almost noir mystery vibes of Old Secret, and the guitar lines of Dance of Thorns add like. Initiative/urgency especially when they underlay the other music it’s so good I don’t think either song alone is Ranboo vibes but this remix definitely is. Just the mix of perseverance and desperation and melancholy and mystery and Class 

Touch-Tone Telephone (Lemon Demon) - This one is old news but tbh it just works. Man decides he’s the correct one in this situation and he’s losing his entire mind that no one is listening to him because he just is not 

2012 (Will Wood) - This one isn’t really clever it’s just about memory loss, derealization, identity, and often self-hatred (“A miserable fuck, but a loud Tao mystical” is a lot). “Did you lose yourself?/It’s always in the last place that you check” sounds so mocking in ways internal monologues like Droice have been and “I might find myself/By retracing my steps” is literally just Ranboo dealing with the Enderwalk; “And not until lobotomy abolished my monotony/Did I applaud autonomy, and modify a lot of me!” works so much for him Dealing With Himself generally, and also “I heard the world would turn to hell/Compared to that, I’m doing well!” is a Him sentiment 

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! (Will Wood) - Jokes about the three hour mining/grinding streams aside. Not only is the chorus so heavily a spiral/self-evaluation mood, but literally consider his thought processes abt the things he’s done/allegedly done and then consider “My dreams were shattered like a stained-glass window/Jesus in pieces! I believe I through a brick right through Him/But my memory could not be saved!/It just seems unlikely that it’s me who was to blame/So I bookmark my DSM, ‘cause I need to remember my place.” And now with the advent of the “experiments” the second verse’s “Take the road on higher ground, and tell me ‘don’t look down! You’ll fall and break your back’/But that just reminds me how there’s more to be found beneath the black!” is more relevant than ever 

Friends With You (The Scary Jokes) - Oh my god. Oh my fucking god man. This could be on here for “I put myself to bed just halfway through the party/I love all my friends, but I hate when their eyes are on me” alone but the general almost empty saccharine vibe of the song is immensely his vibe; the humorlessly-smiling vocal fry on “don’t know” in “Why do you pretend/You don’t know who’s to blame?” is probably responsible for 80% of this read. Not to mention the first lyrics are literally “How long do I have to wait/’Til my lonely days are over?” which is really the. The waiting it out man the So When Do I Get To Be Okay of it all. Shoutouts also to “And the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see,” the self hatred of “I miss being friends with you/But what can I do/What can I do/But leave you alone?” and to “And I can tell you really love me/Can you tell I’m really sorry?” Just. The mix of hope+affection and dejected cynicism and self-hatred in the lyrics

Saline Solution (none other than Mr Wilbur Soot) - Remember what I said about waiting it out until you get to be okay? Anyway that’s crystallized in “If I could just break one more night/Maybe I could wake up and feel alright” and also this is literally a song about catastrophizing and self-evaluation just,, in general and I will not be highlighting all the lyrics about this but I will highlight the fact that he literally calls himself pragmatic and also the lyric “blurring the facts and the fiction.” Also, the sheer desperate anger-concealing-breakdown vibes of “I think I’ve made my choice” to “I think I’ve found my voice” deserves a mention, as does the culminating end of “saline solution to all your problems” with the tears+now splash water motifs of it all with Ranboo I am going to die 

Funny (The Scary Jokes) - This is actually a softer take but not only does it literally start with the singer pleading with the addressee to look away, it  continues with “I went up in the middle of the night and I climbed right onto the stage/And I raged/And I cried/Oh, what a funny joke am I” disregarding everything as performance, reemphasizes the opening demand with the qualifier “it’s not that I hate you, it’s just that I’m funny these days,” and then kills you with the last couple lines which. Yeah he does care and it does,,, just,,,,, a

Chemical Overreaction (Will Wood) - This is where the mood VIOLENTLY whiplashes because this is where we get unhinged. Anyway “I won’t stop to drop to draw a line in the sand/’Cause I’ll be picked apart to pieces by coyotes!” is LITERALLY the whole “I don’t do well with ‘peer pressure’” thing. “Where the sentimental value of the city around ya/Is deleted obsolete, but still completely will stun ya” is the single most L’Manberg lyric I’ve ever heard, especially from the perspective of a character whom I will repeatedly insist is narratively in the role of someone who’s shown up and seen the status quo as an outsider after it’s been established (hence the eternal New Kid vibes). Chorus very much has vibes of Ranboo Is Seized By The Urge To Do Something, and like. The entire dramatic end part. The last two lines especially (be very careful if you look up the vieo for this by the way it is NOT pretty; cws in the video for flashing, blood, suicide imagery) 

A Mannequin Adrift (The Scary Jokes) - The Bitterness. This song is just fully The Bitterness at the environment he’s stuck in; the saccharine comes back as does the “peer pressure” thematic and just the Having An Awful Time; the sarcastic saccharine comes back too, which is always good I love passive aggression. Honestly the first verse is just everything like just listen to it it immediately makes sense

Poison Ivy Grows (The Scary Jokes) - This is overall a song about having bad brain and not knowing what the hell to do about it; it’s so faintly bitter and distant and melancholy and also so zoned out. Also, it’s not the only lyric that matters here but it is enough to be a full argument on its own: “I used to spend so much time/Wandering around outside/Now I’ve got too much on my mind/Now I’ve got too much on my mind” 

Spring Haze (Tori Amos) - Listen. Do I know what Spring Haze is about? No. Is that gonna stop me from saying it’s about Ranboo? Also no. I just think “You say we’ll never make it there/So all we do is circle it” is so much, the fact that the bridge at the end is just “Why does it always end up like this?” repeated, and that it just feels so much like overall the song feels like a desperate attempt to figure Something out, and the chorus is just inexplicably him? It might be partially influenced by the fact that “Uh-oh, let go, off on my way” and, to a lesser extent, “Uh-oh, way to go” is not only in accordance with character vibes but also vaguely evocative of Ranboo’s speech pattern

[wonwooze]

Something told me it was you.

characters: jeon wonwoo/reader au genre: light smut, fluff warnings: cussing, alcohol consumption word count: 5841

Jeon Wonwoo is your best friend for life. You two met just before the two of you were supposed to depart for college. The two of you declared that the term platonic was the exact terminology to describe your friendship. You two were each other’s wingman, sworn protectors, and so many more. So it became a wonder, a great mystery when the two of you starts to realise that the line between love, and being in love is a fine one. Wonwoo best friends! to lover inspired by Zayn’s Tightrope. 

i. We Should Thank Seungkwan

messages

15:46

Seungkwan boo: hey loser. What are you doing today? Probably nothing I shouldn’t ask. I’m going to eat out with a couple of my friends tonight. You should come and stop being such a caveman. See  ya.

y/n: when? What should I wear? What friends?

Seungkwan boo: at 6, we’re going to a movie first at the mall. They’re my school friends. And they’re cool don’t worry. Be ready I’ll come get you.

y/n: ????? Ok

Seungkwan was a friend you, almost quite literally, found on craigslist. At the time you met Seungkwan, you were struggling with SAT and college application. Wanting to get into one of the top 5 universities didn’t help either. Equipped with wits, and endless resourcefulness, you found Seungkwan’s ad on craigslist. He was offering himself to be an SAT tutor, claiming that he almost graduated as valedictorian. After a quick search of his social media, Boo Seungkwan turned out to be enrolled in one of the top private schools in the country. You decided that he looked like a legit tutor that could help you ace your college application, and enlisted his help. As it turns out, Seungkwan was a better friend than he was a tutor. He was always hanging out with you at your house, or at his, telling the perfect jokes where he reiterates funny stories of his schoolmates—whom you never met—in great detail. You liked hanging out with Seungkwan, it would’ve been so much better if you have met him earlier, you thought.

That night was like no other. Seungkwan had never asked you to meet his schoolmates before. You’ve only seen their pictures on Seungkwan’s instagram posts, and have only heard of them from his anecdotes. All you know was that he had a large group of friends, and that they’re supposedly really fun. When Seungkwan showed up on your doorstep, he was eerily excited. He had a huge grin stamped on his face, and a Prius waiting behind him with the engines on. “I’m so excited for my friends to finally meet each other! You know y/n, I’ve been telling these fools that you would be a great addition to our friend group but they weren’t having it.” Seungkwan gestured to his friends inside the car. “Their loss, not mine.” You told him. “That’s the spirit!” He chimed.

When he finally shoved you into the backseat, and himself into riding shotgun, you finally had a look at the infamous Seungkwan’s friend group. There were a total of 5 people in that car, including yourself. You were stuck in the backseat, with two other guys you absolutely had never seen before. “Everyone, this is Y/N! She’ll be gracing us with her presence tonight.” That remark made you blush, and chummy in the gut, feeling the room temperature about to get awkward. You were always kind of anxious about meeting Seungkwan’s friends, fearing they decided they didn’t like you at the end of the day. “Hi.” You said awkwardly, waving your sweater paws lightly.

“You know, y/n. I always thought Seungkwan made you up just so he can ditch us lately. Nice to meet you though, I’m Soonyoung.” The boy sitting at the other side of the seat said by way of greeting. “Yeah, I always doubted you were real. I’m Vernon, nice to meet you.” The boy next to you said shyly. He was good looking, and had the faint smell of aftershave. “Yah! You guys are always on my neck it’s annoying.” Seungkwan chimed in from the front. And that’s how you met Wonwoo. Even if he didn’t made the introduction right then and there, you finally had a good look at him when the group finally arrived at the mall. He straightened his blazer before he reached out his hand to you, and with his baritone like deep voice announced that his name was Jeon Wonwoo.

“Wonwoo! Y/n is going to go to NYU this year! I was helping her with her application remember?” Seungkwan said in the middle of gulping down his cola. Your heart leapt when he mentioned NYU, still berated with the anxiety of college entrance procedures. “You are? Me too! What are the odds. Man I sure hope I get accepted though, it would suck if I didn’t.” “NYU is famous for its film school though, are you majoring in film?” This was the first chance you got of a private conversation with Wonwoo. “Nope. I’m majoring in English lit. Are you taking film?” “Yeah, I do actually.” You liked Wonwoo immediately. You remembered thinking his presence was so still, and calm, so calm that it softened your rough edges, and calmed your anxiety. “I hope I got accepted though. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t” You told him. Wonwoo shrugged lightly, and nonchalantly adds, “You’ll get in. Trust me.” You’ve never trusted zodiacs, or tarot reading, or anything of the sorts. But the way Wonwoo said it, his deep set cat like eyes piercing into you, that day you decided you were going to trust Jeon Wonwoo and whatever he said.

The next time you met him was when the two of you settled into orientation day at NYU. Wonwoo lived in a dorm at campus area, and you got your own place 5 minutes away from him. The two of you were so delighted when you met each other that day. Wonwoo remembered thinking it was like a match made in heaven. Being the quiet, shy, introvert that he is, Wonwoo relished the idea of having company when venturing into a brand new territory. He secretly wanted to held your hand the whole time but refrain from doing so. That day, Wonwoo took you to eat at a wings joint near campus, and the two of you laughed your asses off listening to Wonwoo’s anecdotes about Seungkwan. Lips smeared with barbecue sauce, Wonwoo ended his sermon about Seungkwan with a statement that you had etched into your memory until today. You and Wonwoo had fought about a number of things, which band was better, which movie was better, which tie he should buy. Sometimes he changed your mind, and sometime you changed his. But on this specific issue, you have never changed your opinion about because you had agreed completely. That night he said, “we should really thank Seungkwan though. If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have met each other and I wouldn’t have a friend at campus. Who would’ve thought he would be a blessing?” The two of you have never stopped talking since then.

ii. The Tale of Two Roommates

“Won!” You banged at Wonwoo’s dorm room at exactly 7 pm. The two of you were supposed to hang out at the library, studying for finals. “Just a sec!” You heard Wonwoo called from inside the room, and couldn’t help but wonder what is taking him long enough. Contrary to what you expected, when the door finally swung open it wasn’t Jeon Wonwoo that was at the other side of the door. It was Wonwoo’s roommate, Kim Mingyu, if you had remembered correctly.  “Oop! Sorry to startle you. Wonwoo is going to take some time, you better come in.” He said sweetly, a smile was breaking on his lips. Mingyu was kind of cute, and you wondered why Wonwoo never mentioned that fact. “Thanks! Um, Mingyu is it?” “Correct! I suppose Wonwoo have mentioned me?” Mingyu had eyes like sugar and caramel, sweet. “Only in passing.” You shrugged lightly. Mingyu proceeded to sit on his bed and fiddled his laptop.

“I hope you don’t mind me blasting a song through my laptop? I lost my headphones a couple of days ago.”

“Yeah no problem! This is your room anyway.”

“Just between you and me,  I lent my headphones to Wonwoo and I could swear he had never given it back.” Mingyu said, not looking mad at all, instead his visage was decorated with a dubious grin. Implying that him and Wonwoo are close enough to make fun of each other. You continued to wonder why Wonwoo never properly introduced the two of you. The person in question was still in the bathroom, hell, only God knows what he’s doing in there.

You had thoughts that Wonwoo was going to be taking too long, and the library is going to be crowded by the time you two got there, but in all honesty he was unknowingly doing you a favour. As you sat on Wonwoo’s bed on the other side of the room, Mingyu was casually playing music by different artists. His tastes ranges from electric music, dance music, to popular songs you often hear on the radio. Your heart skipped a beat only when he glances at you from across the room, and replayed the song that was playing before. It was from Arctic Monkey’s 2013 album, a song you often play when you were in the mood to fall in love. The song, titled Knee Socks, was dripping through the speakers, and Mingyu caught your head bopping along with the beat. “You know this song?”

“Yeah, it was pretty popular when it came out didn’t it?” You added. This time you held Mingyu’s gaze. “It is actually! God, I feel so dumb playing this song now. It feels so outdated.” You chuckled at that. What does an attractive man like Mingyu had to fear? He began to talk to you about the songs he played after Arctic Monkey’s famous ballad was over. And you realised that Kim Mingyu, had held your attention completely. There was something about him that reminded you of chocolate covered caramel. When Wonwoo finally came out of the bathroom, he had looked unusually dashing. His face was completely bare, save for his round eyeglasses he never took off. He was wearing a v-neck t-shirt that shown his perfectly sculpted collarbone. And his wet hair was still slightly dripping. Not that you had noticed any of this, because that night you were completely smitten by Kim Mingyu.

Since then, you’ve found yourself making up a string of unusual reasons to come over to Wonwoo’s dorm. Either to borrow a charger, borrow Wonwoo’s laptop, anything, just so you have an excuse to see Kim Mingyu. It was between your 5th to 6th visits when Mingyu finally asked you out on a date. Wonwoo, being Wonwoo, always warned you against it. “Be careful! I hear he has a reputation.” It’s always be careful this, be careful that. You only started to wonder if Wonwoo was making some of those things up. As reality goes, Mingyu turned out to be one of the sweetest guy to exist. He was always walking you back to your place, even if that meant he had to take a 5 minute detour. He was always careful of your feelings. He never disregarded anything you said. The first few months, your relationship with Mingyu was perfect. You hung out with him in his room, which gave you the additional advantage of hanging out with Wonwoo too. You made Mingyu hot chocolate when he’s craving for one, and the list goes on.

But some stories are not only about you. When you first started dating Mingyu, Wonwoo was always skeptical about it. He was never quite sure about the odds of you two being together. But when it looked like it was going perfectly, Wonwoo’s frown began to cease. His doubts replaced with another feeling. Wonwoo couldn’t quite give the feeling a name, he just knew it when he felt it. 

The first time was when he walked into the two of you cuddling on Mingyu’s bed. It was not like Wonwoo was seeing red, but it almost seemed like he did. He felt the tiniest pinch inside his gut, but no words were registered to explain the phenomenon. After that, he only dreaded the thought of seeing the two of you together. It was not as if he didn’t like seeing you happy, he did. He completely, wholeheartedly did. He just preferred he didn’t have to see it.

iii. You Shouldn’t Build Houses Out Of People

It was nearing the end of your second year in college when you woke up in Wonwoo’s arms. You and Wonwoo stayed being the best friends that you always were. The year that has passed only made the bond stronger. There has been an additional list of activities that you and Wonwoo had shared without making it awkward because you two are almost closer than any friend. Going out late at night for McDonalds, hanging out at his dorm, catching a midnight movie premiere together. It was always Wonwoo this, Wonwoo that, if not Mingyu this, Mingyu that. Wonwoo had hugged you, braided your hair, picked you up and swung you around when your short movie won a college award. You had hugged Wonwoo, caressed the top of his head, squeezed his hand when you get nervous. Anything and everything. You had stayed together with Mingyu too, the whole time. You caught yourself repeatedly saying a prayer for Wonwoo and Mingyu’s presence in your life.

This is where the chapters started to get ugly. Love stories, they tend to get ugly before the main protagonist had any idea what they had been seeing. The same pattern you had found happening with your relationship with Mingyu. It was not as if you didn’t love Mingyu, you do. And he loved you too. But as time strengthen some relationships, yours only wore it down. Mingyu was constantly distracted by his college, his devotion to his music projects, his friend group that doesn’t include you and Wonwoo. This is when you start to realise that love was not a given. It was supposed to be a companion you were supposed to caress, feed and entertain. It was a guest, that came knocking into two people’s heart. And when the people in question started to be too busy to take care of it like they used to, love began to walk out the door. And so then, when Mingyu began to choose hanging out with his band, instead of you, or when you made little effort in making Tuesdays with Mingyu happen again, that was when love began to fade into the background.

The breakup was harsh. It was not as if you had been too numb to not feel broken up about ending a year long relationship with Mingyu. You had silently wept for falling out of love, you often question what you could’ve done to make it turn out the other way. You and Mingyu was sitting at the bench in the dorm lawn. It was almost midnight, so no one could’ve overheard the silent sobs. “It’s hurting me. That we are together, but I don’t feel for you anymore. I feel for the memories. I clung to it as if it’s the only thing I have. It pains me.” Mingyu’s words would not leave your head for years to come. And you had silently nodded in pain, because it was hurting you too. To look at Mingyu, and to wish loudly that things were as they were before. It hurt you to look at Mingyu and could only think of the past when the memories of present was what supposed to hook you onto reality.

He had went inside after that. That night, Mingyu didn’t walk you home and take his usual 5 minutes detour. But Wonwoo did. Like all best friends do, upon seeing Mingyu coming into the room looking completely distressed, something in Wonwoo snapped. He grabbed his coat, ran down the stairs and caught you silently crying on the bench. Wonwoo walked you home. Staying completely silent all the way there. Tucked you in to bed, and brew you coffee. He stayed with you the whole night, skipped class the next day, and moved out of his dorm the next day. “I just think it would be awkward seeing Mingyu after this.” He had said when you asked him why. You promised you would help him find a place.

Before you two had found one though, Wonwoo stayed at your place for a couple of days.  And then days turn to weeks. You had an extra spare bed you only used if your parents come to visit, and Wonwoo was welcomed to occupy it anytime he want. It was quite a comical set up, Wonwoo sleeping on the extra bed in front of the tv, and you on safely tucked in your bedroom. Wonwoo’s stuff splattered everywhere in his space, yours neatly stacked in your bedroom. You having to walk over Wonwoo sleeping body when you had to go to the bathroom at 3 in the morning. It was quite comical, but it was extra magical. Wonwoo was the best roommate anyone could ever ask for, he made dinner sometimes, do the dishes regularly, he’d watched shitty tv with you all the time, and he’s basically a kickass friend. You didn’t want to admit it but having Wonwoo living with you clearly made your days a whole lot better. You slept better knowing the safety of Wonwoo’s presence. You studied better, because Wonwoo always offered to study with you—knowing that someone willingly endured a form of torture with you, had given you an extra serotonin boost. You almost wished he would never found his own place.

The one night that you highlighted vividly in your memory about this chapter you shared with Wonwoo, was the night of your final exams. Exams had always tortured you. You always had this innate need to do everything perfectly, but also freaking out over the limited time that you have in studying. It was not a strange phenomenon that sometime you broke down crying before an exam, it was an accepted reality. Especially, when the days are extremely bad. You would cry harder, or break easier. There was nothing in between.

When Wonwoo noticed this, he calmed you down immensely. You were instantly reminded of how Wonwoo’s presence provided you this strange sense of calmness that softened all your edges. Wonwoo told you not to get too hung up over it, you’ll ace it anyway, you’ll be fine, in his deep baritone voice you secretly admired. The cherry on top of the sundae was when Wonwoo brought you to your room, tucked you in lightly so you would sleep. “It’s okay to sleep now. We’ve been studying since 5, we can continue again tomorrow morning. Besides your exams didn’t start until the day after tomorrow right?” The way he said it so calmly just forced rationality inside your head, you did nothing but nod. You caressed Wonwoo’s hand lightly as he sat by your bed to fiddle with his phone. Anyone who didn’t comprehend the bond you had with Wonwoo would think that what you were doing implied that you were his girlfriend. But anyone who shared the same bond probably knew better. But you weren’t so sure you knew better either.

“Won. Please don’t leave.”

“What? I’m not leaving. I’m right here.” He said, not peeling his eyes off the screen. “I mean just sleep here tonight. I have plenty of room.” At that Wonwoo directed his gaze at you. Undoubtedly surprise at your statement. This, was the one activity you had never done together. “Are you sure?” He asked. Wonwoo, the compassionate, quiet guy, who had helped you strengthen your grip on reality, time and time again. Sometimes you ask yourself if you even deserve him. “I’m serious. Just sleep!” You tugged at his hand and tapped at the empty space beside you. “Okay..” He agreed, and proceeded to take off his glasses, put down his phone and lay down beside you. Granted, with Wonwoo on the bed, the space seemed to shrink.

“Are you comfortable?” He asked innocently. “Ugh, don’t make this awkward Won. Just flop on the bed, lay in it, whatever. My bed is your bed, too.” You said as you stare at him. Head propped on the pillow. It was not long after that you started snoring. And so did Wonwoo. Secretly he liked sharing your bed. Your warmth provided him a strange sense of comfort he never experienced before. Wonwoo, only wondered, not out loud though, at the strange beat of his heart that night.

The nights after that wasn’t as bad as the first one. Sometimes you flop over his bed in front of the tv and slept with him. Sometimes he slept on your bed. It was a shared routine that you two never talked about. Not a single word said about the nature of this new activity.

A couple of nights after, you were casually scrolling through your instagram feed only to be greeted with a picture of Mingyu, and a girl you recognised was his classmate. You didn’t know what it meant. Had it meant Mingyu was completely over you? Did he do it just to piss you off? You realised you were living in bliss when you were with Wonwoo. Completely unaware of the world going on out there. Almost like a honeymoon, you thought, but then quickly dismissed the thought as if it were foul. But that picture of Mingyu had completely shattered the serenity that sheltered you and Wonwoo. You threw your phone across the room. Seemingly seething with anger.

“The hell? What is wrong with you?” He began to walk and pick up the phone. Mingyu’s smile was still plastered on the phone. The same exact page. “Oh.” He said when he realised what it was all about. “Yeah. Oh.” Your voice was dripping with venom. Only then did you realise how your anger at the breakup has never really subsided. It was as if anger comes in waves, and this was about to crash, loudly. Wonwoo calmly put the phone down to pull you into a tight hug. His hug felt calming. If your anger was like waves, Wonwoo’s hug was like a lighthouse.

You were sitting next to him on his bed, your head atop his shoulder, and his chin atop yours. “I’m sorry.” He said, softly. You made a mental note that you could recognise his voice, anywhere, anytime. You only shrugged in response. Did your relationship not mean anything to Mingyu? It hurts the most when it almost meant the world to you. You were cherishing the way Wonwoo’s arms curled on your shoulders was like a sign of protection. It in and of itself, meant you’re safe. You could only wonder how someone could be of such importance to another person.

“You know, you shouldn’t build houses out of people, y/n. Because they come and go. So easily. Almost like it’s nothing.” He finally pulled himself away from his initial position to stare at you right in the eyes. His eyes, you’ve always thought was like a cat’s. But now you realised the gaze, the fire flaming behind it, it looked more like a fox’s. Everything about Wonwoo in that moment, reminded you of safety, protection, familiarity and home. He was the only thing in New York that tied you to home. You both came from the same small town, you knew the same people, you’ve been his friend since college barely even started. Wonwoo was, in every sense of the word, home. And that night you’ve decided to come back.

You’d like to think you were never on your right mind when you’re sad. You were always making rash decisions you would later either regret, or forget. You never really know what was into you, to get you to pull him by the t-shirt, close the distance between you two that initially felt like 5 miles, but was now nothing but a shared breath. You kissed him, so hard that it felt like you were drowning. Later in life, when someone offered you to pick between chocolate covered caramel and peppermint candies, you made sure to pick the latter. Because that night, Wonwoo smelled like peppermint candies, and you couldn’t get it out of your mind. Almost as if it was driving you crazy.

You’d like to think you were pushed by all the pent up anger, the unsaid feelings about how you secretly liked Wonwoo’s touch, Wonwoo’s presence beside you on the bed, just Wonwoo. It could’ve been the way Wonwoo was literally sitting underneath the moonlight, basking in all of its glory. It could’ve been the way his fox like eyes stared at you like no one ever does before, like he understood you, through and through. It could’ve been anything. All you knew was if you didn’t kiss Wonwoo, you would’ve gone insane. “Kiss me, Won.” You murmured against his lips. And to your surprise, he did. He kissed you like he had never kissed anyone before.

He, on the other hand, liked to think, he was carried off. He didn’t know what has gotten into his right mind kissing you like that. Like he was hungry. Like he was in pain. He had pushed all other thoughts from his mind. That night there was only you. He looked into your eyes, and was reminded of the person you have always been to him. The only person who would listen to his nerdy ramblings about movies. The only person who remembered the names of all his cousins who always caused him trouble. The only person worth a damn in this whole world. It was not long before his hands found the buttons of your shirt, and your hands slid into his back, passionately lifting his t-shirt. When he pulled himself off of you to breathe, you recited him, “I shouldn’t build houses out of people, because they leave. But you, you’re my best friend Won. You would never leave.” You pulled him into a kiss one more time, and that night was the night the two of you came home.

iv. What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

“Jeon Wonwoo!”

Wonwoo, startled, immediately turned around to see who that was. The owner of the voice was Kwon Soonyoung, his childhood best friend. Wonwoo had his hand on your back, slowly ushering you to Soonyoung’s direction. Kwon Soonyoung was a handsome 20-something year old. He was tall, not taller than Wonwoo, you made a mental note to yourself. His figure was very lean, like the figure of a professional figure skaters, or that of a professional dancer. Wonwoo with a grin stamped all over his face went up to him and gave him the tightest hug.

It was a festive evening. To be precise, it was Wonwoo’s friend, Seungcheol’s wedding. “Crazy how he is only a year older than me, but he’s getting married. Meanwhile, I couldn’t even score a date?”

Strange as it may seems, that one eventful night was the only time you slept with Wonwoo. You two woke up the other day, brushed each other’s hair, straightened your t-shirts and went on with life like nothing had happened. You had always thought it was one of two things; either it meant nothing, or it had meant everything and the weight of the thought had rendered your tongue useless. Either way, the two of you had never mentioned dating, or sex, or relationship in front of the other. As if it was a silent pact. The fact that this pact was never officially made just confirmed that Wonwoo and you practically operated on the same braincells.

“It’s because you have never made a move! Jeon Wonwoo, how are girls supposed to get to know you if you never made a move?” Unlike a normal person, Jeon Wonwoo never thought other girls exist besides you. It was always you, he thought of. You’re the only person he would call if he got into a fight with his mom. You’re the only person that should know his in depth feelings about his classmates. You’re the only person he thought of for a date to a friend’s wedding. After all, you’re his best friend.

“It feels like we haven’t seen each other in years!” Soonyoung exclaimed. The way he inserts himself into conversations strangely feels familiar. Soonyoung has a presence that made you immediately felt embraced, and at ease. He kind of reminded you of Wonwoo that way. “It’s because we truly haven’t, moron! How are you doing? I see you’re still getting 0 luck with girls.” Wonwoo teased him. The way the two interacted, made you think of brothers who have been separated for too long. Soonyoug playfully slapped Wonwoo’s back and gulped down his champagne. “Aish, don’t go flexing on me now that you got yourself a beautiful girlfriend!” He said, gesturing to you who were just standing there.

“Me? I’m not his girlfriend! I would never! No offense to you though, Won.” A smile emerged on Wonwoo’s face. It is a running joke that you would never date Wonwoo, and vice versa. You once told him, “At this point, we’re practically twins!”

“None taken, my lady.” Wonwoo said, still with the smile on his face. “Oh! Thank god. I was about to give you a whole essay on why you should rethink your decision.” Soonyoung teased, winking at you. At that the three of you laughed. You’ve never met Wonwoo’s childhood friends before. But he had always assured you, they’re like family to him, so they should be family to you too.

You, Soonyoung, and Wonwoo took up a table of five, joined by Seungkwan, and Seokmin who just happened to know Seungcheol too. You gave Boo Seungkwan a kiss on the cheek, reminding him how much you missed him. Seungkwan and Seokmin was such a comedic duo, you couldn’t help but burst with laughter every five minutes or so. It was one of those days where you really enjoyed yourself.

Weddings were not particularly your type of events. Strangely though, weddings were always graced with a type of magic that you could sense through the air. It might be because of how weddings itself was supposed to be the strongest union of two individuals who loved each other endlessly, and sacred enough that it could only be broken through death. It could be because a wedding is the happiest moments of a person’s life. It could be because for everyone else who was invited, it was a chance to reunite with old friends, and families.

And that night, the magic poured on your cheeks like raindrops. That night, as you sat by Wonwoo’s side. Feeling strangely nervous for finally meeting Wonwoo’s friends, he held your hands so tight, as if it was a secret message. And the message reads; don’t worry, you’re safe. What’s crazy is how he never let go of your hand the entire night. It was an unspoken gesture, but it was there. Even when you have finally loosen up, and laughed along with Seungkwan and Seokmin, he still wouldn’t let go.

When Seungcheol came up to the stage, serenaded with lovely romantic tunes, and began to start his speech, an homage to his wife. The night began to descend into something you are not entirely sure of.

“If I was supposed to describe my wife in three words, I’m going to be at a loss of words. Because how do you even try to describe someone so attentive, so caring, so beautiful, entirely intelligent, possesses the kindest heart, with just three words? 

My wife has given me everything I thought I didn’t deserve.”

During that pause, Wonwoo clutched your hand a little bit tighter.

“I was not the least bit stable when I first met her. That is even an understatement. I was just a mess. I was all over the place. I was late on bills, I was fired from my previous two jobs, and worse, I preferred to be drunk than having to face any of that senseless reality.”

This time you clutched his hand tighter. At one point, you could feel your own breath flowing in and out of your lungs.

“But, my wife? She was like a god sent. She came into my life like the angel Gabriel. Gave me a sense of direction. Helped me get sober. Helped me find a place to live that was not my mother’s basement.” Seungcheol earned quite a number of chuckles at that. But if you look clearly, his wife’s, as well as his friend’s eyes were starting to brim with tears. It must’ve been a dark chapter in his life.

“This woman practically saved my life.”

You turned your head, to get a look at Wonwoo. He was still staring directly at the stage, there were bits of tear on his clear, perfect eyes. As you look at him, you were only reminded of one thing. That night at your place, where Wonwoo was basking in the moonlight. Tonight, it was as if he was the moonlight. His grip on your hands felt like a comfort, security. The way he had always made you feel.

“So, when they asked me to write an homage to the angel who I’m now proud to call my wife, I thought, ‘man, how am I supposed to do that?’”

Wonwoo must’ve felt your stares, because now he was looking at you. There was such tenderness in his eyes, that couldn’t be compared. You’ve never seen Wonwoo this way before. Like a godsent. There was only one time that almost, briefly mimics this moment. It was the day you two went to the beach, for the first time together. Wonwoo was staring straight into the sunset, the wind whipping his hair, the glow of the sunset framing his visage. The scene was so dreamy, you almost thought it didn’t happen.

“Man, I suck at this. I hope my wife isn’t disappointed.”

Again, Seungcheol earned a number of laughter at that. And from the looks of it, his wife isn’t in any how disappointed. There were visible tears running down her cheeks, threatening to undo her makeup.

“So, let’s all raise our glass.”

Wonwoo’s stares was like daggers in your heart. Threatening to undo a secret long unraveled.

“To the most beautiful woman, I have ever met.”

As Wonwoo was fixing his stare at you, everything seems to finally made sense. There has always been a reason why you fit him more than his favourite sweater. To the most beautiful woman, I have ever met, a sentence fit only for you.

“To the love of my life.”

Claps erupted from all around the venue. And when you knew, you knew.

[grandinventor]

At the risk of sounding like a Jindosh apologist here (I am.) I will preface that Jindosh is a bad guy, he has either killed people personally or got them killed for experiment purposes by his Clockworks and has dissected the dead so he is not good, he is a villain, I acknowledge that.

Now with that out of the way I wanna criticize the narrative surrounding him and his mansion and how it sometimes falls flat on it’s face trying to demonize them thanks to a lot of points my friend @divaythfyr​ brought up. I’ll put all of that below the cut:

Yesterday I was told this line and I won’t lie it is...bad. Line in question: 

Billie: "His home is supposed to be full of marvels. Locals go in as a test of courage, or because they're desperate for a meal. Kids, even. People say you can hear them at night, pounding on the windows, calling for help."

But because I couldn’t live with the idea that he kills children you know the simplest villain demonization tactic in writing history (kick the puppy, kick the child whatever) and I think it’s pretty cheap to try and make him worse than Sokolov, I talked to the Jindosh apologist committee and thot about it so I’ll go over this line by line. 

1. "His home is supposed to be full of marvels.“ - Okay but isn’t his home also supposed to be scary? Isn’t the whole “Why would anyone build a scary mansion like this?” line from Emily/Corvo as they enter supposed to tell us that this is a scary place? Which is funny because in reality the mansion itself isn’t scary at all, in fact it’s extremely logical in the way it unfolds and exposes the rooms. It’s perfectly functional and as someone with a major in architecture, I can say it’s the best designed house in terms of organization in the game. There is no way to die in the mansion unless the Clockwork Soldiers and the guards get you - which goes for literally any important/rich person’s house? You walk in someone’s house uninvited and their guards get you. You can die if you get behind the walls but it’s extremely difficult to do so especially in the places where you can get squished. The house itself is completely harmless. So the whole idea from Jindosh’s end that it’s a maze is stupid on it’s own too, the house is perfectly logical and Stilton’s manor is an actual maze because I got lost 10 times in there. 

2. “Locals go in as a test of courage, or because they're desperate for a meal.“ - okay first part is correct people go in his house to either steal, test their skills or kill him. He says as much himself. He says fabled thieves and assassins died there. Again probably from his guards and Clockworks since you can’t die from the house in any rational way. And then he dragged them half dead or dead in his lab to dissect them. He has a fascination with watching people die because he is like evil and a villain like that. Which brings me to the next point which is:

There are only two ways to get in his mansion without powers. There is the bridge below which is broken and the railway which is guarded and has a Wall of Light on the other end. So how will anyone that is not prepared with a grappling hook or some kind of way to close this gap gonna get in? How is your random average person gonna go in? And most importantly why? Do people just walk in aristocrat’s houses and expect not to get out in a body bag or? 

Besides he has a) a lot of free food and drinks in the lobby which is his threshold as to how far you are allowed to go so if someone wanted food they can just walk in and take it and leave (after you know, scaling a mountain for whatever reason because there aren’t easier houses to steal from) and b) he has an audiograph, because I am sure he assumes people can’t read, which tells you “Do not enter or you will die and I will dissect your remains and this is a promise.” Like why add a warning if you wanna lure people in? Unless those people think they can outsmart him so they come with intent and not just because they need food/shelter. Also he has food right next to that audio. 

3. “Kids, even.“ - okay this one, the scary line. I won’t lie this made me uncomfortable. So like if we assume that normal people can enter by normal means (which in point 2 is clear they can’t unless further elaborated by the game on How? and Why?), a child going in as a dare and dying is possible. Billie after this line goes on to say that she saw a child dare his brother to touch the wall of light which vaporized the child, so the implication is possible. It’s possible a child went in his mansion as a dare and bad things unfolded. It’s also equally possible that it didn’t. We know of adult men dying because we see the bodies. For this one is just a rumor. You can take it either way depending on how you feel about Jindosh. It’s very unlikely a child would get this far though, unless this was some kind of Disney movie. Also Jindosh wouldn’t personally have a reason to kill a child you know, like I know it’s the easiest “this villain is super evil!!!!” writing tactic, but he had a pretty shitty childhood, he felt hated by his mother and probably wasn’t treated so nicely by his (bastard) brother. He likes to exercise his lack of control during his younger years by having control over other people through his house and toying with them. He is very childish in a sense too (with his toy house and toy soldiers), and because of all of this I truly don’t think he would kill a child. He wants a real challenge and to test out his machines and his house against the best and smartest Karnaca can offer, not children. Though my opinion here can be highly biased. 

Also many children can casually pull 6ft tall levers I’m sure--

4.  “People say you can hear them at night, pounding on the windows, calling for help." - we know people have died in the mansion and they have been crying for release, as he says so himself. But again the above points kind of challenge as to who these people that died inside were. However because you know I’ve been playing with his mansion for four years cause I am a dumb hoe, I can say that there are very little windows. In fact the majority of windows that aren’t blocked off by the cliff or the mechanisms are around his laboratory.

 Now yes people could go there and bang on them sure. But they literally...face the lab and chances are no one is gonna hear you bang on that side. The other windows not facing the lab are in the foyer where...you are allowed to be and nothing is gonna happen to you. 

And the windows that actually face a side where let’s say someone could hear if someone was banging are the windows on the front of the house. Only the thing is, there are no windows on the front of the house except in the foyer. 

Here are the buildings from across his mansion which I guess can maybe hear if someone was banging on the windows. But again no windows on the front of the house. 

The fake windows is where the mechanism for the ceiling over the gallery in the upper hall is. The one that kinda extends and unfolds from there. So isn’t entirely possible that the banging and screaming or whatever people heard is just...the mechanisms of his house? The scary evil child killing house? Which is actually moving and making a lot of noise at all times?

So in conclusion? Yes, Jindosh is bad, he has no regard to human life, he divides society as innocent bystanders and criminals. He does dream of an army of Clockwork Soldiers to eradicate all crime. Be, he isn’t a senseless killer, it’s his neutrality and fascination with death as well as his black and white thinking that makes him dangerous. He doesn’t see people as human. In the majority of cases we know of (except one for some reason? That cursed baker who got his brain fried why did you have to do that Jindosh!?) he experiments on people who he deems criminals without sympathy. Also in situations where he thinks it’s justified - breaking in to steal from him or hurt him, the Blade Verbena, prisoners that can actually provide a learning experience for his Clockworks and Sokolov. He doesn’t go kidnapping people off the streets to experiment on them. 

And despite his evilness being completely logical, the whole game tries to paint his mansion as this big puzzle and trap when in reality it’s...really just a house. The level design is beautiful and amazing but I think it doesn’t really carry the point as strongly simply because it’s not any more dangerous than any other mission and it’s just more fun when it comes to gameplay. The design is great but it never gave me the feeling of it being a horror house. So I think that demonizing Jindosh through hearsay instead of through his actual mission is a bit of a weird choice. A lot of things don’t reflect how evil he is, but not in the good way of “The Grand Inventor doesn’t seem evil but he is.” and instead you get it hammered how evil he is from the start without actually ever experiencing a climax of his evilness you wouldn’t expect. It’s not that every story should have a twist, but usually when you say someone is evil, you either make them good at the end or even more evil. Jindosh never has that climax, he is the same start to finish and that is... mildly annoying and slightly threatening. Like his level is pretty but not scary and they keep trying to convince you it’s scary which makes it weird which I guess is because if you listen to a lot of his unused lines and old concept art, he was supposed to be this stereotypical mad scientist but in the end they changed his visual design and lines so much he comes off as lukewarm. I understand what they tried to do with Jindosh but I feel like they failed to do it and had to rely on everyone saying he is super irredeemably evil to justify lobotomizing him.

Anyway this post is too long, sorry if the read more doesn’t go through somewhere and please feel free to counter my points I am open to different and non biased views (or even information I might not know because I haven’t read the books or found everything). 

[softxhariana]

34+35 live stream

description: ariana’s live stream before debut of 34+35 remix music video.

word count: 2.22k

A/N: little piece based off this live stream that ariana did in the countdown to her releasing the 34+35 remix music video with doja and megan. obvs not included every question but just a few fun bits and harry mentions for you x

also disclaimer, this is NOT real, if u don't wanna read about these two then don't, i’m not tryna act like they’re together it is fiction.

❤ anywayz hope u enjoy luvs xox

❖   "HELLO EVERYONE! thank u for coming to this premier,” ariana smiled sweetly at the camera, as the video cut to a shot of her for the beginning of the countdown.

“we had so much fun making this 34+35 remix video for you, and uhh, we hope you love it.” she continued, playing with her hair. no matter how long she did this for she swore she would never cease to get slightly nervous in these situations. where it was her alone, in front of a camera. but her fans made her feel at ease, and she felt she owed them something, as she hadn’t done many quarantine interviews like other celebs have.

“i thought i would come celebrate and join the countdown with you guys. which is something that I've never done before, but i’m very happy to be here and i was very excited to get some questions from you all...” she held up the sheets of twitter questions she had received, “um that i’m gonna be answering while i’m here so, i cant wait to celebrate this together and countdown and answer some of your questions!” she finished with a smile.

and it was genuine. a real smile that her fans were thrilled to see.

ariana was genuinely so happy and content with her life right now. with her family, her music, her friends, harry. harry her FIANCE!! might she add.

everything just felt perfect, and after all the shit the last couple years had thrown her way, she appreciated the break.

 she got her love back, she was making music that she fully loved, and put her whole soul into, and she had fans who had stuck with her and supported her through some of the darkest times in her life, that were now able to experience her happiness and personal growth with her. so truly, little things like this, felt like the least she could do for them.

“ohh this is a good one because its 34 35 related” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “@noirgrande said ‘ummm its just i wanna the end of 34+35 is it awww shit or nooo shit, i just wanna sing the song right”

“umm it is indeed no shit” she confirmed, smiling matter of factly at the camera before reciting the closing line of the song.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“@arianalocks1223 said ‘will we get to see the track list before the songs release?’” she paused for a second to process - which turned into a few more seconds, she was a bit slow today. she had told harry with full sincerity that she thought it was because she was getting old but he had just cracked up at her absurd statement, and told her that if that was the case he’d still think she was a milf

“you will!” she nodded with certainty, “indeed. ummm... i can tell you them now” she blurted, oops.

“i suppose thats not like... is that against the rules? can i do that?” she turned, to question scooter who was supervising off camera, not wanting to get her label mad at her for releasing too much information, something she has a tendency to do. 

after getting the nod of reassurance from him she turned back to the camera, “so out of ‘POV’, you go into, um, an interlude called ‘someone like u’. after that is a song called ‘test drive’, after that is the 34/35 remix with doja and meg” she smiles lightly, “and after that is a song called ‘worst behaviour’, and after worst behaviour is... a song called ‘main thing’...” she finishes, a shy smirk forming on her face, dimples appearing, “so that’s the tracks.” 

continuing with the countdown, ariana felt her heart warm at the love her fans were giving her and this album. she loved interacting with them and making them happy and proud of her so knowing she had done just that, was an amazing feeling.

“umm hesbloodsline... @hesbloodsline ... i’m really fond of this question because its really to the point, ‘where's the pig and where the fuck is harry?’” she smiled, holding in a laugh.

“piggy’s here, she's great, she's really doing so well and life is really good for her right now, she's really thriving and doing her thing” she ranted, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “um, i make her big salads everyday that she likes, she's doing really great. she asked me to stop posting her as much because she's actually really offended by a lot of your jokes that you make on twitter, she asked me to have a word with you guys” she continued to joke, well aware that she probably found herself more funny than anyone else did right now.

“she doesn't like the jokes about being eaten, they really hurt her, umm yeh, and she asked me to convey that... no she’s great...” she finally decided to answer, “and harry, is on set today, so um, yeh thats where he is... but don't worry i will tell him to keep you in the loop, i’ve got you” 

ariana unconsciously let a small smile take over her glossed lips when talking about harry. he had been so excited about this new project and seeing him passionate and happy about anything he’s doing, always made her happiest.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“nicole! @nastyctrl. nicole said ‘who helped come up with the concept for the positions music video, love u sm ari’ love you so much to, i love you so much more” she paused, she loved this story,

“um this is actually a really funny story, dave and i had been going back and forth on several different concepts, and i couldn't, like... marry one... i couldn't really, like, really commit to one, i wasn't 100% sold. and it was missing a certain element of empowerment. and i kept, you know, trying to think of things that would make it more impactful cause i wasn't loving what we had...”

“anddd then me and harry were on this huge hike, and he just turned to me and was like, ‘what if you were the president?’ which was like, not at all fitting cause i was dying and complaining the whole time. but i was like,” she tried to imitate a shocked face through her smile and laughed 

“and when i called dave he was like ‘oh... kay, ill call you guys back’ and had the whole production team redo everything, and i had mimi pull completely different outfits and we completely started over cause that idea was what i was, craving and missing. and i was like, wow, thats so perfect” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders, “so yeh, honorary directing credit to harry styles, if you liked that”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“this is from @borderlinevinyl, who said ‘how much of the album was recorded at your little home studio?’ ummm..” she sang, looking off camera in thought, everything in quarantine had honestly just blurred into one so she was struggling to remember what exactly she recorded where,

“um... a lot of it was... i think i did parts of everything here and parts of things at tommy's i know i did, um, the final chorus ad-libs for positions at home” she began listing in her head, “i know i did all of off the table at home... i know i did the final chorus of my hair at home because we- i-” oops. she had to control the laugh threatening to leave her lips at the lack of subtlety in her correction

“-i got out of the shower and he was like ‘oh your whistles are really here right now’, and i was like y’know what... yeahh they are aren’t they” she laughed as she squinted her eyes and recited that part of the conversation, even trying to imitate his deeper accent.

she had been singing in the shower - as she always did - and harry joining her never seemed to stop her from belting out any whitney or old one direction classic she wanted to. he would even join in sometimes and they'd end up with their own mini concert, dancing around naked, shampoo and conditioner bottles in hand singing their hearts out to everything from high school musical to nicki minaj to fleetwood mac.

while it felt like too bold of statement to make as she truly revelled in and enjoyed everything they did together, showering with him was truly one of her favourite’s. whether it was steamy shower sex that had all glass surfaces in the room fogging up or letting loose and dancing and singing under the pouring water, every moment felt so intimate and sacred. it truly made her feel like they were they only people in the world. 

of course he would claim she was out singing him every time she whistled and would jokingly try to replicate the note but he was truly just in awe off the sounds that came from her mouth (in all senses of the word;)

"-and so i opened ‘my hair’ and just randomly did that” she continued, “um what else did i do here, i did the a lot of the backgrounds and ad-libs for 34+35 here, um, obvious was done at home, a lot of six-thirty was done at home”

caught in her own thoughts she only realised she had probably been droning on for too long when she caught scooters eye across the room and with a blush she shook her head as if to clear it, “this is an annoying answer, everything was kind of all over the place but i did a lot, a lot, a lot of the vocals for the album at the house" she finally finished the long answer, moving on quickly as she realised she didn't have long until the premiere and she wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.

“ok, second last question from hannah, ever- @everdxystxless, im sorry i don't know how to pronounce that” she laughs looking up at the camera with wide eyes, not sure how exactly how she was supposed to go about pronouncing the username, 

“im sorry, um, but anyway she say’s ‘ari baby, how do you feel about harry getting to do a movie with florence pugh, we know your a big fan of hers, ps. i love you so much!’ well hannah, i love you too” she replies, as she thinks back to when harry first introduced the two, after she had gotten over the initial fangirling, the pair became amazing friends. florence struck ariana as such a genuine, loving person and they shared the same dry sense of humour. plus ariana might of been just a little obsessed with her accent - not that she would ever admit that and scare the girl off.

“and... um, yeah, it literally, made me beyond happy, i was fully like, fangirling when i met her the first time” she laughs as she plays with her hair, “she honestly, probably was like, ‘who the fuck is this girl? what is she doing?’”ariana imitated, a faux scared/weirded out look on her face, playing the part of a mildly pissed off florence - which she luckily had never been on the receiving end of, “im sure i was being the opposite of subtle about it but, no, she really truly is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented human being” she emphasises, the thought of any news outlets of fan’s trying to spin a ‘jealousy’ story about this making her internally role her eyes,

“midsommar is, like, one of my all time favourite movies, and she's amazing in it, and harry’s like so fucking lucky its crazy. so yeah, thats insane”

~~~~~~~~~

"...so yeah... thank you so much! this was so much fun!” ariana exclaimed as she wrapped up the Q&A, smiling wide at the camera, she knew her fans were going to love the music video and she couldn't wait for them to watch it, plus interacting with them in this way always made her happy.

“i love you guys, i miss you” she reminded, “i am so appreciative of everything you've done for this album, for these singles, for this music. i hope that, um, that this makes you super happy, i hope it makes you smile...we had so much fun shooting it and um, the girls are so fantastic, so i hope you love this and i hope you love the deluxe!” 

ariana didn't know how many more ways she could say thank you and express her gratitude but she still had over a minute and a half so she’d have to come up with something, even if it meant she’d sound like a broken record

“i am so thankful for everything and for the love that you've shown this music i cant even begin to articulate it properly so, thank you! i appreciate it so much” she breathed out all in one, “but anyway, the video should be starting soon, so... i hope you like it, don't refresh! it’ll be here soon... i promise... just don't refresh” she urged dramatically, she was really dragging this out, “but yeh” she got out through laughs “the video should be starting anytime now, i love you guys” she blew a kiss to the camera before moving as close to the lens as possible “byee”.

🖤 there u go!! i hope you liked it, and any feedback would always always be welcomed and so so appreciated pls and thanku x 

[sortaotaku]

Happy New Years! 🎉

Ikevam New Year’s Set Stories

2021 Super Awesome Set

I wanted to share because I understand the paywall is probably too much for a lot of people. It’s a pretty informal overview of the stories though~

Boys Talk - Team Abnormal 

Shakespeare, Le Comte, Jean

Setting: Thermae

Le Comte asks why Shakespeare is looking gloomier than normal. Shakespeare says he feels a bit weird about a sarcastic comment Arthur made about the three of them (Shakespeare, Le Comte, Jean) being abnormal.

Le Comte: I guess he means we’re deviants. Idk where he got that from. 

He comments that Shakespeare likes to tease people and wonders what to do with him.

Jean: You two are most definitely deviants

Them: Wha? 

Le Comte calls his comment unnecessarily cruel. Shakespeare defends himself and says unlike Le Comte he’s a gentleman

Le Comte is like LOL I feel like you added an insult in there

Jean: It’s best you hear the truth bc you’re in denial. You’ve been buying <your name here/MC> dresses a lot. Are you sure it’s not just bc you like dressing her up?

Le Comte: What else am I supposed to do? She looks ravishing in everything. I’m not doing anything except sitting and watching in the dressing room.

Shakespeare: A grown man enjoying dressing up a girl like a doll sounds pretty deviant to me

Jean: Yep. He’s the most deviant one.

Le Comte: Judging from the content of your plays I think you’re worse than me.

Shakespeare: My writing isn’t necessarily representative of my desires

Jean comments about how Shakespeare has been inviting MC over to his villa a lot.

Le Comte comments that he quite likes Jeans fixation on MC and Jean tells him to shuddup.

Shakespeare also says he isn’t doing anything weird. He says he blindfolded and cuffed her for research purposes.

Jean: Hold on, I’ll come back with my sword.

Le Comte: Don’t run around the mansion naked and angry. Return to the water now.

Shakespeare states that Jean is upset by trivial matters. Basically “tough luck, that’s life”

Le Comte: Yeah, be more open-minded

Jean: I must destroy the world then

Shakespeare asks if he had any weird encounters and Le Comte says he’s basically been a recluse 

Jean admits to giving MC a boost on his shoulders, but... He was shocked because her thighs were pressed against his cheeks and they were soft. 

Shakespeare: How are you insult us when you had her pressing her thighs against your face? You’re the worst deviant one.

Le Comte is basically like LOL and Jean is kinda baffled.

End

Boys Talk - Battle Against Desires

Theo, Napoleon, Mozart

Setting: Thermae

Mozart calls the two of them sighing in sync annoying

They do it again and state they’re tired

Mozart comments that this is rare considering how adept they are at dealing with the more eccentric residents 

They’re both like “That’s it!”

Napoleon is like that’s what everyone says. Everyone thinks I’m sensible

Theo: Yeah, I thought common sense is something everyone should have. We just look overly sensible because everyone lacks it.

Napoleon is like how about we just toss that (sense) out, I’m sick of it. 

Theo: Yeah, I’m going to do whatever I want

Mozart: Hold on, if you do that you’ll lose sight of yourselves.

Mozart (Internally): They say it’s the most dangerous when people go off the rails. These two keep order. I must stop them.

Mozart adds that everyone didn’t start out selfish. He asks if they’re sure if something else isn’t making them this way.

Napoleon says its a problem that MC sees them as so sensible.

Mozart is like: 🤨 Why?

Napoleon says that everything is wrong. She lies around in the common area asleep and apparently sleep undresses. (Half way, that is)

Mozart: Yea sounds about right... Wait what? Don’t tell me you...

Napoleon: Obviously I buttoned her up and tucker her in so she wouldn’t catch a cold.

Mozart: Are you her mom?

Theo: I get that! I would do that too.

Napoleon: Theo~ 🥰

Mozart: Can you guys not hug in the bath? Anyways what about Theo?

Theo: I went in for a bath and MC was in there stark naked bc she mixed up the time.

Mozart: Yea, she’s ditzy sometimes. Don’t tell me you...

Theo: Obviously I simultaneously tossed her my own towel and quickly turned around.

Mozart: Are you her dad? 

Napoleon: I get that! I would do that too.

Napoleon~ ❤️❤️❤️

Mozart: Stahp hugging in the bath... So you’re saying you don’t feel free to express your desires bc you’re seen as too sensible?

Them: Yea

Mozart: That’s easy to fix. Just act on your desires. It’s important to be true to your feelings. I just do what I want.

Napoleon: Easier said than done. Women find it even more frightening when a “safe” man comes onto them more than normal men. They feel violation AND disappointment because of the breaking of expectations.

Theo: And you’ll lose trust that you cannot recover.

Mozart: That sounds oddly convincing from you two.

They sigh heavily again. Mozart smiles a bit and comments that he must warn MC to be careful from now on and encourages them to cheer up.

End

Boys Talk - Imagination Station

Dazai, Arthur, Isaac

Setting: Thermae

Dazai talks about how great a bath after a good drink is. Arthur agrees and asks Isaac what he thinks. (Note: Don’t go into a huge hot bath while drunk)

Isaac: STAHP TOUCHING ME YOU TWO! Why did you guys insist we bathe together?

Dazai: It’s a good way to get to know each other.

Arthur: Yep, we know each other well but there are no limits on luvbbb ❤️

Isaac: If this is your love I have some doubts...

Arthur + Dazai: Lalalala~~~ 🎶

Arthur: Isn’t it funny how alcohol loosens inhibitions? I’d love to get naughty with MC

Isaac: Don’t you dare touch her!

Dazai: I find it questionable too.

Isaac: Dazai?

Dazai: Women get uncomfortable with sudden moves. You haveta do “that” 

Isaac: huh?

Them: I-mAg-I-nA-tIoN!

Isaac: 🤨huh???

Arthur: Lemme explain. We’re writers. We think up scenarios for a living.

Isaac: ?

Arthur: GOSH. We can do anything we want. In our minds. In vivid detail.

Dazai: Ai-kun is confused still, we must invite him into our minds

Arthur: Good idea! Naughty story time!

Isaac: Hold on—

Arthur and Dazai cook up an Isaac x MC smut headcanon in which Dazai still calls her “Toshiko”

Isaac didn’t even notice at first and commented that it makes sense Mc was drowsy because she’s a hard worker. He gets embarrassed when he figures out and the other two are like LOLLL 😂😂😂, we love your reactions!

Isaac: You’re saying you spend your days thinking about lewd stories of MC?

Them: No.

Arthur: We could imagine but the real thing is a whole different thing.

Dazai: The real thing trumps fantasy.

Isaac: So you were trolling me?

Them: Yes.

Isaac: You’re the worst!

Them: Rofl

End

Boys Talk - A Steamy Nighttime

Leonardo, Vincent, Sebastian

Setting: Thermae

Leonardo: A bath sure is nice!

The other two: ...

Leonardo: Why so quiet?

Vincent: I don’t think MC registers me and Sebastian as men. (Correct. You are indeed an angel and not a mortal man)

Leonardo: Why?

Vincent recalls how he was sunbathing with MC and she commented how he was comforting like a little brother

Leonardo: Pride must’ve been hurt by that. Sebas?

Sebastian: Similar. She said I was like her dad.

Leonardo: Dad-zoned, huh (*This isn’t my own abridging of the story, he actually said that) It’s not as bad as you think. Its proof MC is comfortable, that’s important.

Vincent and Sebastian says that : They want to be seen and treated as reliable men

Leonardo (internally): I’m pretty sure she sees them as men though. If I’m too serious about this, they’ll try too hard. The best thing is to make them laugh

Leonardo: You must get comfortable around women. If you get too self conscious things get weird right?

Sebastian: I see. How?

Leonardo: Prof Leonardo shall teach you. This is classified so don’t share

Them: We Promise.

Leonardo: Did you know a women’s breast is as soft as the inside of their arms. Start there with the inner arm

Vincent: Brilliant. What do we say after

Sebastian: Practice on me master Vincent

Vincent: Your arm is hard

Sebastian: I’m actually swole. (He says quite muscular)

Leonardo: You weren’t supposed to take this seriously

Vincent: Will you give more tips? I wanna get closer to MC

Sebastian: Please teach us professor Leonardo

Leonardo (internally): I didn’t expect this... They’re so pure. I can’t let them down.

Leonardo: When someone licks their lips it means they want you to kiss them, so watch out.

Vincent: You’re a genius! Arthur does that all the time! But I won’t do that since it will startle MC if I suddenly kiss her.

Sebastian: Start with the forehead/cheek

Vincent: Anything else?

Leonardo: Playing with hair = Wants affection

Sebastian: Isaac does that a lot, but he DOES crave affection. I gotta watch out for that.

Leonardo: Listen. I didn’t expect this...

Them: Teach us more!

Leonardo: 😓 

End

A/N

Sorry it’s late. Distracted my Animal Crossing. You can find 2020’s set in my previous post or under the “2020 New Years Set” tag.

[tiredb0igivemesugars]

Remus Lupin is good

Summary: y/n is a student at Hogwarts and is now returning for the new semester. A lot has changed during the summer, including but not limited to: the school uniform and name. You were pleased to find that your friends Harry, Ron and Hermione were more than understanding and supportive. Not everyone would be supportive, but you didn’t expect for it to hit you so hard, but luckily the new professor Remus Lupin is there to help you.

Paring: none💚 (platonic/friends Remus Lupin and trans!male reader)

⚠️Warnings⚠️: transphobia, homophobia, slurs, mild swearing and some angst

words: 2.1K

note: I know that the timeline doesn’t add up but just roll with it... also no proof read 

Happy holidays if I don’t post again before the new year <3

The second to last year of your journey at Hogwarts was about to begin, you had gone to Diagon Alley accompanied by the Weasleys and Harry, of course. A lot had changed that summer, the name you had gone by before had been replaced by a masculine name, it was in the process of being changed legally, you had gotten the boys uniform delivered to your doorstep that morning and you were more than excited for the new year. You had gotten enormous support from the Weasleys and all of your friends, but it didn’t stop that small voice in the back of your head kept talking about how hard everything was going to be once you got into Hogwarts, the constant deadnaming until corrected. You didn’t look forward to that. You knew that it was normal, of course, people will question but it didn’t stop you from feeling bad about it. There was even a voice that said ”Why did you have to do this to everyone around you? You’re complicating everyone’s lives. Why can’t you just be normal?” That voice was mean and the loudest. 

”Y/n! Y/n come on we need to get moving?” Molly yelled, everyone had already entered the platform 9¾ and you had fallen behind, gotten lost in your thoughts. You quickly shook yourself awake and gathered the strength to push the big trolley through the brick wall. Molly followed suit. ”It’s going to be alright, you have Harry and Ron with you, Hermione will take it very well I’m sure,” Molly whispered to you as she patted your back as a sign of support. You nodded determinedly. You hadn’t told Hermione yet, hell, you hadn’t even seen her all summer. You knew she’d take the news well, it was Hermione after all. 

Your hand got grabbed by Harry, he was leading you towards the train, the platform was packed with people and it was hard to move in any direction. There was a lot of whistling, yelling and things falling over, you felt relieved when the door to your carriage was closed. Hermione was already there, she loved to be on time. ”Harry! Ron! -” she greeted excitedly, but didn’t say your name. She stared you up and down. ”I’m sorry I don’t recognise you,” she said, somewhat embarrassed. ”This is our new, old friend y/n,” Ron said as he threw his arm on your shoulders, although he struggled a bit due to the height difference. Hermione sat back down on the seat. ”Of course, I should’ve known it was y/n,” she said and smiled. ”Want to sit next to me?” She continued with a question, patting the seat next to her. ”I’d love to,” you said and sat down next to her, only now noticing the man on the side opposite of you, sleeping against the window. Harry and Ron only now seemed to notice the same strange man, too. The two boys sat down. ”That’s Professor Lupin, our new defence against the dark arts professor,” Hermione informed. You sighed as you leaned back on your seat. ”I’ve missed you knowing the answer to everything. These two boys, I swear to Merlin they and I included would be so lost without you,” you said as you pointed at Harry and Ron who were tying professor Lupin’s shoelaces together. Hermione giggled. 

The train let out a loud sound to signal the departure. You had now time to go through all of the latest happenings with your friends. You loved Hogwarts. It was your home, of course, the aspect of learning was sometimes hard and stress-inducing, but it was home, most of the professors were people you knew you could count on. The people there, although they could be annoying, they still were close to you and you liked almost everyone. Well, tolerated anyways. It was getting dark, you should be arriving any minute now. ”How’s your place?” Hermione asked, causing you to tense up. Harry and Ron glanced at Hermione. You didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say, the same old, yet so much more worse. ”Not good I take,” Hermione finally said, placing a hand on your shoulder. You sighed. It wasn’t great, it was a long way of the horrors Harry had to face, but it was still bad. ”They’re angry, so angry with me for trying to be me, on top of the usual disappointment. But that’s nothing new,” you said, offering Hermione a smile, even if it was far from genuine. 

You saw how the lights of your home, came closer into view, soon you’d be home, away from the craziness of ”reality”. Hagrid greeted you all welcome and gave you a thumbs up, you smiled. The night went by, as usual, the 1st years got sorted into their houses, professor Dumbledore kept his speech and introduced the adding in the faculty. Professor Remus Lupin, the new teacher of the defence against the dark arts. He seemed very kind and like a good teacher. It took a couple days for things to start rolling like usual in Hogwarts, Harry was away at Quidditch after school, Hermione in the library along with Ron. You weren’t on the team and didn’t want to be on it, you weren’t that confident with the broom and preferred both of your feet on the ground. ”Not one to trust a broom, are you?” The now-familiar voice of professor Lupin asked you, startling you. You had zoned out while watching the Quidditch practise from the comforts of a bench in the courtyard, not noticing how the professor crept up behind you. ”Professor Lupin, I didn’t hear you coming,” you said, trying to sound apologetic. Remus smiled, ”It’s alright. I’m quite the trickster when others aren’t looking.” You laughed a little, the laugh warmed up your chest. ”But to answer your question, I do prefer soil to air,” you said, now a little more serious. 

”I know I seem like a bad teacher but I have to ask, what was your name again?” Remus asked, quite embarrassed. ”I haven’t been around this many people in a while so catching up with the new names is quite difficult,” he went on to explain as he sat down next to you.

”Y/n,” you answered, a little thrilled to be able to introduce yourself with your name, but also a little anxious. ”That’s a fine name for a young gentleman like you,” he said, enthusiastic. You giggled, feeling happy due to the compliments and overall acceptance. ”What has it been like to come back to Hogwarts after so many years?” You asked, wanting to continue the conversation with Remus. He seemed to be extremely kind and accepting and you needed that in your life. ”It has been nice so far, it feels odd to be here without my friends though. But I’m adjusting just well. I love teaching the new students, fills me with excitement, you know.” he went on, almost rambling. ”Where are your friends?” You continued to ask, knowing that you were about to overstep a boundary. ”They’re kind of all over the place, some have gone on the other side,” he said, more quietly as if others weren’t allowed to hear him. You weren’t sure if ”going on the other side” meant joining the dark lord or dying, but you didn’t ask. 

The conversation slowly died down, leaving you both to just bask in the evening sun as it settled behind the mountains. 

The following weeks and months went by as normally as they possibly could. Some students still gave you snarky looks and shot mean words at you, but your friends were luckily there to stand up for you. When you walked into your defence against the dark arts lecture, you were surprised to find their places empty. Where had they gone? You looked around you, trying to not look as scared as you in reality were. You heard the familiar thudding of professor Lupin’s shoes hit the rock floor, it was best to sit down and just try to get through the lecture. As Lupin greeted the class, you heard snickering from behind you, Draco and his friends, they had moved to sit behind you. 

”Look the weirdo is all alone now. Her friends left her, couldn’t stand her freakiness,” Draco laughed to his friends, just quietly enough for you and his friends to hear. This was going to be one hell of an hour. Lupin went on to talk about some spell and you swore that you were trying to concentrate on the teaching, but Draco and his friends kept throwing paper balls at you. Distracting you very badly. You made the mistake of opening the first ball that hit you, it had landed on your table. The terrible slur was scribbled all over it. You assumed they all had the same word on it, one wasn’t nearly as crumpled up like the others, so you were able to read it without touching it ”poof”.

You were holding back tears, sweating, your breathing as irregular as they come. ”Draco Malfoy,” Professor Lupin said, tone slightly raised. You didn’t dare to look up, the tears would’ve fallen if you did that. ”What did I do professor?” Draco asked, clearly pleased with himself since he knew that the teachers never actually punished him, only gave a bad word. ”Detention, Hagrid will have some tasks for you for at least a week with the seasons changing and all,” the professor said, voice stern but calm. You heard Draco scoff. ”Do you not know who I am?” He asked, clearly in disbelief. ”Yes, I just said it. Were you not paying attention?” Lupin said, drawing out a laugh from the other pupils. The bell rang before Draco had the chance to shoot something back, not that he had anything to say, maybe just the usual ”wait until my father hears about this.”

”Y/n, stay after class would you?” Lupin requested as you began gathering your stuff, still not lifting your gaze. You plopped back on your seat as a sign of protest. You just wanted to run into a bathroom stall and cry. The two of you waited until the classroom had been drained of the noisy students. ”I saw what he was doing to you,” Lupin said as he pulled a chair to sit in front of you. You didn’t answer, you tried to distract yourself with your cuticles. ”It’s okay if you’re upset. You’re allowed to cry,” he said, and that was it. One tear after another ran down your cheeks, falling on your desk. Your body slightly shook as you cried there. Remus handed you a napkin after you began crying, he waited there as you cried, not once telling you to stop crying. Only once your cries died down did he speak. ”Do you wish to talk about it?” He asked.

”It usually doesn’t get to me. My friends are usually here, but they weren’t today and Draco just took an advantage of that. It just proves that I can’t stand up for myself. I shouldn’t have come to class today,” you stated, so so incredibly upset. Remus sighed, you saw how his hands moved to grab yours but they quickly retreated. ”You shouldn’t think that. You can stand for yourself, you wouldn’t have gotten this far if you weren’t able to stand up for yourself. No one carried you here, you walked here. You are such a strong young man and you shouldn’t let kids like Draco bring you down,” Remus said. You lifted your head to look at your Professor. He was encouragingly smiling at you, his legs crossed, hands rested on his lap.

”Kids like him have a silver spoon so far up their arse even the dentist can see it,” he added, whispering with a smile on his face. His speech left you without words, you knew he was right and you were heavily entertained by the silver spoon thing. 

"Believe it or not, I know what I'm talking about. I too was very different from others my age," Lupin added. You saw how his eyes changed as he said it, you knew he wasn't different in the same way as you, but you knew his struggle was just as real as yours. 

"How did you get past it?" you sniffled, voice still raw from the crying. He smiled at you, "there's no "moving past" a thing as big as yours or mine. You need to embrace it, accept that part more or less," he said, voice now melancholy. "It's good that you have Harry, Hermione and Ron as your friends, they're great friends. I too had a friend who helped me, rely on them and trust them. Be honest," Remus instructed. 

You smiled at his words, you knew that Remus Lupin was good.

[onyourzeus]

• in the mood for love | pjh

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: in the mood for love pairing: park jaehyung (jae of day6) & you genre: FLUFF words: 2.6k

author’s note: requested by this anon asking for a valentine’s day headcanon for our #1 twitch streamer, jae. i’ve never done headcanons before, so i kind of spun this in both ways: how i think he’d spend a special day with his s/o, and turn it into a fic(ish?) ngl these are fun to do

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

jae wouldn’t be the biggest fan of valentine’s day

as in, having one specific day assigned throughout the whole year

for you to hail gifts and love notes and roses and chocolates to the one person you love 

yeah, he’d definitely be the “complaining” type, that is to say

before he met you 

your relationship stands in the middle of being frenemies and actually romantically involved

there is never a day that jae corrects you on some weird unheard of factoid 

(in which case he gets it wrong 95% of the time) 

nor can you get away from his ridiculous antics that just tip you over the edge slightly 

like, putting your favorite snack on the highest shelf he knows you can’t reach 

or bombarding you with memes through texts while he’s in the bathroom

forcing you to play phasmaphobia, promising he won’t lock you in the room with the ghost 

and proceeds to do exactly that plus runs away without you

where’s the team effort in that? 

anyway, that’s basically the gist of your life having him as your boyfriend

so for valentine’s day, you know it would either just be 

a chill day at his apartment, maybe play games that would resort to turning into a fiery competition

or watch the latest release of your favorite animes while he talks over every two minutes about a theory he developed prior 

OR… hmm, well, you’re not really sure

this would be the first valentine’s you’d spend with him; and you’re very much aware for his

lack of fondness for the holiday

the days leading up to it, the only thing you’d hear from him is complaints upon complaints of this capitalistic expenditure that should be abolished

you know he jests, but you feel a little saddened

you spent so much time making a scrapbook for the memories you both shared in the few months you’ve been together

it’s not a lot, you rarely do intricate craftwork like this, but you were feeling sentimental 

there’s polaroids of him streaming on twitch with you sneakily taking the picture from the side

a polaroid of the two of you at your apartment eating take out while drinking a little alc

even a picture of yourself which he took when you were knocked out on the couch, waiting for him to finish band practice

for an added touch, you wrote down cute (or snarky, it depends on how he views it) comments on each polaroid, just to make it more personalized

the nervousness hits you, what if he thinks this is all too much? too clingy? he didn’t ask for this, that’s for sure

but it was made with the labor of love, and it just so happens that the 14th was the day you started dating him… yeah, maybe you can make that as an excuse instead 

usually, the both for you don’t really celebrate ~*~monthsaries~*~ and that’s okay

he’s busy with work and you have other duties to attend to as well— but one special gift shouldn’t be the cause of a problem, right? 

on the day of ~*~love~*~, jae had some meetings at the company bldg. and so you ask if there’s a time during the night you guys can hang out

he doesn’t respond until a few hours later, and the whole time your heart sank deeper and deeper into the pit of your stomach

you just have to accept him for who he is, you sigh, or maybe he’s just caught up with band stuff, which is usually the case— and you’re never not 100% supportive

he texts you that you can come over at his apartment, and for a little your excitement bounces back 

“sorry for the late reply, the boys were here for a lil” he adds, and you’re confused— did that mean they’re still hanging out at his place? oh

you try not to think of it too much, having expectations beyond reality is what breaks a lot of relationships

and you have to remind yourself: jae isn’t like that, and you like jae for jae

you still bring the scrapbook with you, and ought to leave it under his bed or something so he finds a surprise later on (considering the possibility that you’re accompanied by 4 of his best friends during your 6 month anniversary and valentine’s day)

you arrive at his doorstep, anxiety soaring out of your chest for some reason. with the spare key he had entrusted you with, you open the door

it’s dark

way too dark

is this a prank? is he trying to conflate halloween with valentine’s day 

“jae i swear to god if—” 

and the lights turn on, but it’s not his house lights. they’re fairy lights. all strewn across the hall (where did he get that?)

little heart cut outs of different shades of red and pink seem to be taped all over the walls 

you hear soft piano music humming from his speakers in the living room 

but there is no jae in sight

“jae, what…” you’re at a loss for words

he pops out of his bedroom, trying hard not to grin so widely at you

“you called?” he says in the most annoying, teasing voice in which you can’t help but laugh-cry at 

“wait wait wait this wasn’t the reaction i was going for” he says in panic, walking towards you and the sight of him just makes you cry a little harder

he’s wearing a tux inside his own house, and he’s holding a rose that’s bound to be crushed the moment he comes over to hug you

“wait, no the rose,” you say in between sniffles, taking it from his grasp and settling it on the coffee table

jae pauses, looks at you in a daze

you’re pouting, and you want to admire his outfit but also punch his silly face but he’s smiling at you and you’re embarrassed

“are you sad?” he asks a matter of factly, arms still spread open waiting for your approval for him to embrace you

“if you don’t hug me in the next three second i will be—” 

“i would be the worst person to ever exist in the world to do that to you,” he says in your ear, and you soon feel yourself melting into his embrace

he’s so warm

and so tall

and so confusing you kind of just want to poke him where it hurts 

but you indulge in the comfort of his presence

until you realize that you’re wrinkling his precious suit

“ok hol up” you interrupt the adorable moment, and jae seems to look confused 

“wha” 

“what’s all this?” you finally get the courage to ask, dried up tears on your cheeks yet a hopeful spark igniting in your chest 

“well, i uh,” this is ultimate Jae Trying to Find Excuses with Futile Attempts To Do So 101 

“did you really have a meeting today?” no answer

“did the boys help you with all this?” your head turns to look at all the cheesy decorations in the room

still no answer

just jae avoiding your suspicious stare, even whistling comically 

“jae!” your nervousness from a while ago comes out as relief, and bubbling laughter as you playfully shake him for an answer “i thought valentine’s suck and we’re too good for that”

“you’re never too good for anything, well. except for me, you’re too good for me,” he finally lets up, wiping whats left of the moist tears on your face with a soft caress. his voice was soft, too, and it’s a refreshing and wanted feeling to hear him speak to you this way 

“i know i can be a jerk about those kinds of things but… after meeting you, i think you deserve just the best,” he continues, finding your hand and holding onto it tight. “this isn’t even half of it” 

“there’s more?” you quip, already satisfied with the cutesy re-decor of his apartment, but once he leads you to the island counter you see two plates filled with dinner food, and wine glasses ready to be poured with what seems to be red wine on the side

the vase in the middle was empty, and  so you accept the rose that jae had picked up from the table, and carefully place it in its new home

“i’m… impressed. you did this?” you say

“if i said yes would you believe me”

“never,” you reply, knowing that younghyun probably had a little helping hand in here too

“well there you go, you know me better than myself already,” jae winks, and something flutters within you that causes your head to feel so light and just. focus on jae

pulling out the chair, he signals for you sit down with a royal gesture “before you, milady”

you’re laughing now, smiling from ear to ear at how ridiculous jae sounds but at the same time the two of you are having so much fun

you fall back into normal conversations with more banter than regular small talk; it’s so easy to be yourself with him 

you keep admiring the suit he’s wearing, even his hair is slicked back with gel to cast the perfect valentine’s day look. you compliment him in between bites, and then mutter under your breath that you should have worn something just as elegant

“this wasn’t my idea,” he defends, and you’re sure one of the boys dared him to do it

“still, i don’t look the part as your date,” you half-joke, but your tone sounded sadder than you anticipated

“this,” jae says, looking at you and only you. for a moment you can’t find your breath

“you. this is you. and that’s who i love”

you’re smitten. that’s it pack up your bags this is it

“jae maybe ease up on the red wine?”

“shutup youknowyouloveit” 

finally, you finish up the meal and you’re full

of food and love 

he tells you to just chill by the couch as he gets something from his room, and you wonder what else he has up his sleeve

you’re grateful for bringing the polaroid camera with you to commemorate something so rare 

but as you’re trying to take it out of your bag, you see the scrapbook (it’s hard to miss) and pull that out instead

should you give it to him now? or later? 

while you contemplate on this, flipping the pages of the book jae has sprung up behind you

“hey i was looking for that picture of you all sleepy and drooling” 

“JAE WHAT THE HELL”

you jump from surprise, almost flailing the scrapbook in the process as you see jae laughing his ass off from behind

you notice he has his guitar with him now (???)

“did you do this for me?” he sits next to you, setting the guitar on the side as you begrudgingly give him your gift. all of a sudden the unknown fear creeps up again and you hide your face in your hands

you hear him turn the page, a quiet pause, maybe a chuckle or two, and rinse repeat

“are you done????” 

“no give me about ten hours”

“WHAT”

“i’m kidding, dude, this is amazing” 

give it to jae to call you dude while in a relationship with you

but that’s when you know he’s genuine with his words

“i wasn’t expecting anything like this at all. this is so so so good, i love it. a lot,” he keeps complimenting you and it’s so hard to look at him when you’re red in the face and heart beating a mile a minute 

“it’s nothing… i thought it’d feel too much since we haven’t been together long,” you confess, finally giving into seeing what jae looks like

he pout 

he attac you with a flick on the forehead

and a pat on top of your head

“i don’t see it that way,” he says, sincerely. then he brings his guitar on his lap, and prepares his form as if he’s… about to sing something

the music from the speakers was soft enough to not disrupt his singing and guitar skills

you are one if not the biggest fan of jae and his band

and also, of eaJ 

so you are very well aware of every song he’s put out there even winning five times in a self-induced contest as to who knows the lyrics better: the actual band member or the significant other

but what he’s singing for you right now

what those fingers plucking romantic melodies on the guitar strings

you haven’t heard of it before

and yet your heart feels so connected, so in awe of the way jae passionately sings in front of you

the man is shy okay, he’s a genius in his craft but when it comes to doing it in front of you he clamps up like a toddler on his first day alone in school

but right now, you don’t see any of that. you see jae singing words of happiness, admiration, love

for you

and he might not be meeting your eyes right now, it’s okay, cause you’re crying again anyway 

you don’t want him to stop

you close your eyes and feel his words embed themselves in your mind

you want to keep this memory close to you, even if you can’t take a picture 

it’ll ruin how special this moment is, really

it was short, sweet, but you’re not complaining

he finishes with a soft strum, and then finally sees your face in tears again

“i’m a bad boyfriend aren’t i,” he whines and he is met with the forceful (hint: soft) punches on his chest

“you’re literally the best bf ever wtf are u on about” 

face wet, cheeks red, neck feeling warm from the wine

you’re a mess it’s as if you got dumped on valentine’s instead of serenaded by the love of your life

“why do you look like you got broken up on valentine’s instead of being—”

“yes jae i know” 

“did you like it though? it’s unfinished but, i figured i wanted you to be the first to hear it”

“since...well.. it’s a song about you” 

:( he wipes the tears with his thumb, and you steal a quick kiss on his lips 

“i love it, and i love you so much u dork” 

“i take it back you’ll never hear the finished version of this song”

“HEY” 

(spoiler alert: he now keeps bugging you for more supportive comments and suggestions on the song) 

(another spoiler alert: the night ended up the way you guys love spending time together: basking in each other’s company)

only this time, there’s poorly cut out hearts all over the walls 

and there’s jae drunkenly mistaking lyrics of his song for another

and you singing along off-tune

happy valentine’s you two :)

[maggies-scribblings]

Ladynoir, thinking post-reveal pre-relationship but idk whatever makes you happiest: “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”

I decided to make it a continuation of this. Hope you like it, and sorry it took me so long. 

Ass-kicking

It was the first Saturday afternoon after the night they found out about their identities, and Adrien and Marinette were at the Historical Library. They were working on an ongoing History project with Alya and Nino, meeting there every weekend.

“Oh, great!” Marinette huffed, looking at her phone screen. “They just bailed.”

“Really?”

She showed him the message on her phone. 

[Alya] Hey sweetie, sorry, we can’t make it today. Nino’s family is away and I need to help him with his French homework.  

“French homework, huh?” Adrien said as he returned the phone.

“Somehow I doubt that.” 

“There will probably be French involved,” he quipped, waggling his eyebrows, “but definitely not homework.”

Marinette had to cover her mouth as she snorted. 

“How about we investigate that other subject?” he leaned over the table and whispered conspiratorially. 

The library was mostly empty, but Marinette still shushed him. 

“What? Here?”

“Where else? We can check out books about ancient languages, history…”

“Hmm… I don’t know… what if someone sees us? Won’t it be suspicious?”

“We’re still working on a project, right? I know! You’re applying for fashion internships in the summer, right?” She nodded. With a playful smirk, he pointed at himself with his thumbs. “Who better to help you with a fashion presentation than your friend, the actual haute couture supermodel?”

Marinette giggled softly while Adrien winked and made finger guns, in full-on Chat Noir mode. Her laughter made his heart sing. 

“Okay, actual supermodel. Where should we begin?”

A few weeks later… 

[Alya] Hey there gorgeous! Girls’ lunch today? 

[Marinette] Hey Alya! No can do, project work all day. 

[Alya] Secret project again, huh? 😉 

[Marinette] Quit it Alya, I have to go. Raincheck?

[Alya] How’s Sunday? 

[Marinette] Great! Text me in the morning. xoxo

[Alya] Yeah, right… I’ll drop by to wake you! xoxo

Alya sighed as she put her phone away. Marinette had been acting weird for some time now. Ever since that day she showed up at school with dark circles under her eyes and with a silly grin on her face, which she explained away with some excuse about good news from her Chinese relatives, and staying up late on Facetime to talk to them. 

After four years of BFF service, Alya could tell when she was making up stories… and yet, even when caught in a lie, there were some things Marinette just wouldn’t share. It was frustrating, but Alya was respectful of her friend’s privacy. Well, most of the time, anyway.

It was also weird that she was hanging out with Adrien so often, seeing that not so long ago she had trouble even maintaining a simple conversation with him. 

“Sooo, giiirl…” Alya playfully asked, before taking a bite of her kebab. “Got anything you want to share with meee?... ”

“Share?” Marinette looked genuinely confused. “What about?” 

“Don’t play innocent with me, sweetie. You thought I wouldn’t notice you and Adrien sneaking around on breaks, going to your place after school?”

Marinette’s reaction was even stranger. Instead of her usual sputtering and denial, she coolly replied they were working on a project together, refusing to add any other details. And yet, Alya couldn’t resist some gentle teasing.

“So, does this… erm… project include any nookie?”

“A-Alya!” There she was. Blushing, stuttering Marinette. “No-nookie? No! This is strictly professional!”

As it was, Marinette refused to discuss the project any further, except to add it had something to do with fashion and her application for summer internships with established designers Adrien knew. It was the exact same explanation Nino had heard from Adrien… almost verbatim. Her reporter's sixth sense was tingling, but she let it go. If her best friends were seeing each other in secret there probably was a good reason for it. 

“Alya’s on to us.”

“What!?” Chat Noir almost spit out his palmier. “She knows?”

Ladybug shook her head and corrected herself. 

“No—not that! I mean she’s not buying the story about the…”  she gestured air quotes, “‘fashion project’!”

“Oh. That.” After licking his fingers, he took another cookie from the box Ladybug had brought to patrol. One of the best perks of the job, and now much more frequent. “Nino was also acting weird about it.”

“What do you mean, acting weird?”

“He was all like, oh, you dog, finally saw the light, took you long enough, whatever.”

Ladybug swallowed her juice quicker than she should, breaking into a coughing fit. Chat Noir tapped her back, which was no help at all but made him feel like he was doing something. As the coughing stopped, the pats turned to gentle rubs. 

“He did?”

“Yeah, he was so… smarmy about it. Like he knew something I didn’t.”

“Huh.” Ladybug scooted away from him and went very quiet. 

“Are you alright?”

“I… I just need a minute, okay?”

Adrien was confused by her reaction. Sure, things were different after that night. Since then, Ladybug seemed slightly more restrained around Chat Noir. Although he had toned down his banter, she seemed more embarrassed whenever he made some flirtatious joke. 

The civilian side of their lives was altogether a different story. After a few days of mutual awkwardness, working together on the grimoire brought them closer than ever. 

Of course, they had been friends for a long time — well, except for that time in the beginning, when she had been so uncomfortable around him. The gum incident when they met was probably a bad start, and there had been ups and downs between them ever since. He even asked Nino if she had something against him, but he wasn’t any help. 

Eventually, that bashfulness faded as they grew older. Marinette started going out with Luka, much to the joy of their mutual friends and his own inexplicable chagrin. Adrien and Kagami were also dating within the confines of their controlling, yet approving, parents. After that, whenever they hung out there was a relaxed familiarity that made her open up more, and Adrien considered her one of his best friends. 

Now that he knew she had been Ladybug all along, he couldn’t help but feel the bitter twinge of regret. What would—could—have happened if he knew then what he knew now? 

“You really don’t know why Nino teased you?”

“No—I don’t.”

“They think we’re, you know, dating in secret.”

“What? Why? They think you’re cheating on Luka?”

“No! Not cheating… Luka sorta dumped me six months ago.” 

“Luka dumped you?” Adrien was totally confused. How could anyone dump Marinette? “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to, Milady.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” she chuckled sadly. “It wasn’t working out anyway.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, you know. He has his music, I have all of this,” Ladybug sighed, pointing at her suit. “He wanted me to be more present, and I just couldn’t. It’s like we were always out of sync.” 

“—out of sync,” Chat Noir ended the phrase with her. “I know what you mean.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it was the same with Kagami,” he admitted. “She wanted to do, you know, couple things, when I was exhausted from all of this. She needed me to be there for her. By the seventeenth time I ditched her during an akuma alert with a lame excuse, she was done and ended everything.”

“You still seem hurt about it.”

“I think I’m over it now,” he shrugged. “It’s been almost a year. I just couldn’t be the kind of boyfriend she needs and deserves, so…” 

Ladybug was silent for some minutes. When she spoke, Chat Noir jumped a little. 

“I can’t believe she dumped you,” she said indignantly. “She was so in love with you…”

“How do you know that? She’s usually so reserved.”

“Well, besides it being written all over her face when she was near you? She told me. Well, actually she told Ladybug.”

“She told you that? When?”

“Oh, it was a while ago, the last time she was Ryuko. She said you were made for each other.” 

“Oh yeah, when you saved her from Heart Hunter. They were after people who were in love.”

Ladybug cringed with embarrassment, then sighed and straightened her back, psyching herself up.  

“I—I need to be honest with you, Adrien… I didn’t exactly save her. I chose her that day because I was jealous.”

Chat Noir nodded, but she wouldn’t look at him. 

“Jealous?” he cleared his throat. “Of… me?”

“Yes.” She uttered a sad chuckle, shaking her head. “I was so confused back then. So tired. I liked Luka, but I was so obsessed with Adrien-you, and I was trying not to like Chat-you. Then you and Kagami looked so happy that day… I tried to walk away, but jealousy got the best of me.” Ladybug covered her face with her hands. “I made so many stupid decisions that day. I almost ruined everything.”

Chat Noir pulled her into his lap and hugged her. 

“Hey… hey… It was a tough time for all of us, with Hawkmoth chasing Master Fu—”

“—and I led him straight to where Master Fu was! It was all my fault.”

“No.” He gently lifted her chin to meet her eyes. “It’s all his fault. Hawkmoth’s the one who’s caused all this. Don’t you ever forget that.”

Ladybug nodded, sinking into his arms and pulling him closer. 

“You can always count on me when you feel overwhelmed,” Chat Noir whispered, kissing her forehead. “Or if you need me to kick some ass.” He felt her chuckling softly into his shoulder. “Now you always know how to find me. Any time, day or night, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And we’ll talk about that other thing another day. I’m still annoyed with our so-called best friends and their teasing.”

“Okay.” This time there was a hint of laughter in her voice. “Please don't kick their asses.”

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t… Now, let’s clear this up so I can take you home.”

To be continued? Let me know! 

Thanks to @chanceuseladynoire,  @zenmisery and @nomolosk for the beta read.

Asked for a sequel and/or to be tagged: @miraculous-elcie-fanfics @ao3bronte @bowser14456 @alexseanchai @delectablycoolscientist @lecolibribleu @omgpercabethadrinette @damelicorne

[yibuo]

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

[edwardslostalchemy]

the thing that kills me about bakugou is when the plf go "having a powerful quirk means i'm better than you"and basically advocate for eugenics, it's horrible and corrupt, but when bakugou does it, it's lol funny and 'oh that gremlin.' in a recent chapter he made fun of the past OFA holders for having 'weak' quirks and dying and he said these things in front of Toshi, who has himself given so much. just...what was the point of him knowing about OFA if he was just going to be a disrespectful ass?

I have no idea why it was necessary for him to know, tbh. I think it was a waste of an opportunity to give him growth by NOT telling him. And honestly, I agree that k*tsuki and the plf have similar ideals because they’re elitists. :/ They think they’re better than others. Unironically, the lov wanting k*tsuki on their side would have been like, them all sharing this same thought. Idk, I just don’t like him. The things he says and does are played off as comedic relief now and it’s honestly so annoying. He needs to be brought down from his pedestal. 

(I have multiple messages so I am putting them all in one post under a read more, I hope it works, but if somehow it doesn’t, I’m really sorry. My computer says it works, but mobile doesn’t show it. This will be a long post.)

Anonymous said:

You know... I wouldn’t mind Bakugou winning vs Ochako so much if his blast had simply redirected enough rubble for him to make it though the pelting, and the fight had ended with an actual visible inflicted injury on his part, like a cut on his face, that stuck around for the rest of the tournament. Make the close call have more concrete, visible consequences for him then his arms aching a bit.

I agree with this completely. That thing about his arms aching doesn’t show much of the consequences at all. And he gets over it rather quickly. I hate that he has so much plot armor.

Anonymous said:

Ngl i dont ship Todo/deku (dont really ship Izuku with anyone lol) but its such a nice ship like?? People can ship what they want but why ship Baku/deku when Tododeku is RIGHT THERE. I would rather have todo/deku be the twin stars like.. Todoroki having to overcome his fathers legacy and be a better hero then his father ever could be while Izuku perpetuates all mights legacy and carries the legacy of One For All?? Poetic cinema

+ I SENT AN ASK ABOUT PREFERRING TODO/DEKU TO BAKU/DEKU AND I WANTED TO ADD SOMETHING SKSKS. we could totally have an "its your power" moment. Izuku getting Todo to accept his left side and Todo getting Izuku to remember that OFA is his power now.

Todo/deku is really the poetic cinema we need and deserve. Idk why people like b*kud*ku, that’s what they prefer, but the ship itself is not healthy in the slightest and I find it pretty disturbing. I agree with you, nony. Everything you said is correct.

Anonymous said:

If I'm gonna be honest the whole "he was raised in a household of screaming and abuse" isn't a good enough reason as to why Bakugo has no chill. Like we've seen people like Todoroki raised in a household much worst but he didn't come out as a jerk or bully. I'd like to see more of Bakugo's interactions with his parents but for the most part the dad seems like a pushover and his mom is just loud at times. But no where close to Endeavor. So yeah Bakugo shut up challenge

Yeah, idk how their dynamic works, it’s just mitsuki screaming at k*tsuki while his dad tries to intervene, but doesn’t do a good job about it. I don’t like that she smacked his head. But I think people really stretch it to give him a tragic backstory when in reality, he doesn’t have one. He is a spoiled brat. Shouto has proven how to be a better person. He’s just a better character in general.

Anonymous said:

This might be long but I want to get something off my chest and I love your blog so I used to like bk//dk. If you asked me why. It's because I was enamored by the fanon ver of this pair with a better bkg and the whole appeal of childhood 'friends'/reconciliation trope it had going on and some fans have convinced me that their relationship wasn't as bad as it's portrayed before UA and that bkg was only like that because of society and thinking Izuku was "looking down" at him. 1/3

Thinking about it. it's really stupid and the verge of victim blaming but anyways. What stopped me from liking it and instead hating the pair is that after dk vs kc 2 I was expecting the improvement in their relationship, for a moment I thought we got it. But in reality it's just bc we haven't seen them interact much after the overhaul arc and before the joint training arc.Then the joint arc came and the 2nd internship arc came and whoo boy, I feel like I was cheated on. 2/3

Rather than making bkg's behavior improve towards Izuku, He's still as much of an asshole who belittles him, mocks him ,acts like he can't stand him but less threats of killing him combined with Izuku who just takes it because he's a nice person. But the narrative acts like their good friends now and I have been feeling so frustrated with this, I wanted a mutual relationship with mutual respect on both sides and bk//dk hasn't reached that part and it shouldn't take this long for it to be. 3/3

Thank you for sharing this with me, nony!! I appreciate it. It’s really sad that their relationship hasn’t improved at all. It’s so long overdue and now things are played as comedic relief like him hurting Izuku with his spike and also being extremely disrespectful during the ofa meetings. Their relationship isn’t healthy and it isn’t friendly, no matter how canon wants to paint it that way.

Anonymous said:

the only reason bkg gets to know OFA is because he guilted Izu into telling him a half truth in S1 then guilted AM and Izu with his tantrum in S3 He also had the privilege to know Izu since childhood and saw AFO so he had the advantage Izuku would have never told him otherwise. Same time Izuku's friends don't "deserve" to know about OFA, rather, Izuku deciding to tell them himself will make the revelation to them more special since its Izu deciding to tell a piece of himself than being forced to

HOT TAKE

@havocsss said:

i just wanted to say i appreciate your opinion on bnha about bakugo (bc someone finally said it 👀) and you put into words for me how i feel abt that character - and that's partly why i just can't watch it. he's the bully that everyone idolises and gets let away with murder and naaaah mate that's not how it works

Thank you, I’m glad to hear it. I don’t like that he, a literal bully who has suicide baited Izuku and has hurt him with his explosion quirk, is the fandom’s favorite and the most popular character. Literally any other character would have been better to stan than him. He’s everywhere and I can’t enjoy part of the series because of him always being there. It’s so annoying. I will continue to yell about why he is not a good character until horikoshi gives us the development he desperately needs AND an apology to Izuku for being so abusive to him. And yes, bullying is abuse.

Anonymous said:

I know that feeling. I also greatly dislike Bakugou. He almost ruins the manga for me at times. I can't even think of a plot with Izuku where Hori won't try to include him in some way. I tried reading metas abt him, tried to look at him in a different light but I realised that I really hate his personality, combined with his overhyped popularity just makes me can't stand him. I wish I could even just be neutral for him but that's being a challenge.

Yeah, he’s not a good character. Very infuriating and annoying. We do not stan him in this house.

Anonymous said:

I feel like if Aizawa actually knew that Bakugou used to bully Izuku he'd probably whoop Bakugou's ass

OOF I’d like to see him expel him.

Anonymous said:

I like how it's framed like I'm supposed to feel sorry for Bakugou because he feels manpain for not being the strongest in the class. Like the dude went from a regular school to the best of the best and he still expected to be the strongest person there is with no challenge?

Awww, is the spoiled brat sad? Good. He can die mad about it.

Anonymous said:

If Aizawa did the combat training instead of All Might he would've stopped Bakugou the first time he used his gauntlets and automatically failed him and I really wish that would've been the outcome

Tbh he should have been expelled for trying to kill a classmate.

Anonymous said:

Oh yeah I remember that character entrance when he just basically I insults his partner for training. Look I love the kid but if I was a teacher I would've flamed him so hard like there could've been a hostage, that weapon could have went off, his partner could've been captured. That's how you ended up failing the license exam

OOF. When will he learn.

Anonymous said:

Um excuse the ever living fuck out of me but I just saw a fic that was bakugou/consequences where Izuku attempted suicide and you know what the ship was?? My pure green son who deserves the world and his literal bully/abuser are you SHITTING ME???? I try very hard not to hate ships I do really try but I just CAN'T with this ship it disgusts me

It's not a healthy ship. I am disturbed by this fic and I don’t even know what it’s called and I don’t want to know. Eww.

Anonymous said:

I see myself as Izuku cause I relate to him a lot and I just read something where Bakugou does what my abuser did to me to Izuku and now I'm having a very hard time stomaching the thought of him and like I really loved kiri/baku too but now I can't even think about it cause someone who shipped my notp thought it would be a good idea to make Bakugou an abuser and give Izuku Stockholm syndrome ☹

Oh nony…I’m so sorry to hear about that. That really sounds rough and I hope you’re feeling better. That sounds awful. I’m just…I’m appalled. Also giving Izuku Stockholm syndrome with this ship is just. Wow.