#sorry for any incoming bullshit

[sinnamonstache]

Didnt mean to rb that *here* but i guess consider that my greeting… i guess i am back

[redhotarsenic]

Man imagine whining because I called you a moron when you’re in fact being a moron

[medicasino]

ive just accepted im just never going to fit cleanly into any label or community ever

[jtownraindancer]

for some reason that makes me think of when I worked front desk for B[redacted]n hotel chain. They refused to hire enough staff, and it wasn't uncommon for me to pull 16-hour shifts.

when I'd finally get home for a few blessed hours of sleep, one of the other receptionists would call me asking me some of The. Dumbest. Questions. which, hey, okay. I'm an understanding person. there was a lot to do there and keep tabs on. so I'd answer the questions, printed out helpful logs and charts and step-by-step binders for different things (night audit, laundry, breakfast set-up & tear down, resetting room keys, printing out housekeeping schedules, navigating crazy knife-weilding abusive exes of housekeeping staff out of the hotel without getting someone stabbed, replacing the soap in the bathrooms, etc etc).

but after about 3 months of making only $8/hour and running on 4 hours of sleep a night (if I was lucky) I finally said fuck it.

I had reached the point when I was very seriously considering Harming Myself so I would admitted into the hospital, and let me have a few days away from the place.

they fucked me over on taxes; they never withheld a single CENT from my paychecks (in spite of my W4s), but luckily the paid interest on my student loans balanced me back. they offered no insurance of any kind. they were truly no benefits whatsoever. and they didn't offer lunch breaks.

working in amerikkka is a fucking nightmare, and I would kill for even half the protections and privileges so many of these other nations get.

all lunch breaks should be paid im serious. im not even enjoying this im literally just making sure i dont pass out or something. this is part of The Job as far as im concerned

[balljointedjester]

i think we all need to keep in mind there are real people who genuinely wholeheartedly believe that misandry / androphobia on its own is a thing. these people exist and unironically hold these opinions and most of them don't think it with any sort of nuance or real consideration beyond "sometimes people are mean to me specifically for being a man."

men of color and queer men and trans men and men who don't fit hyperspecific ideas of what a man "should be" are not oppressed for being men, they're oppressed for not fitting those hyperspecific ideas. come on now.

[atebyflowers]

toxic!dealer!ellie who favourites you over everyone else, yet refuses to make your relationship offical. one in the morning parked outside of a gas station, rain drops falling outside the smoke-fogged windows, tears streaming down your face, your head laying on her shoulder — she's rolling another blunt and rubbing your thigh in an attempt to make you calm down. "i know baby, i'm sorry" she rasps out, dragging the blunt to her lips before placing it between yours. "you're not sorry" you choke out, sniffling as your wiped away your own tears with the sleeves of the sweater ellie lenses you whenever you smoked together. She sighed at your words in slight annoyance, trying to keep her tone relaxed — she leaned back further in her seat as she watched you clear your eyes, taking the blunt from your hands before speaking. "there's nothing to cry about y/n, you knew this from the start" she replied, taking another hit.

holding your face in your hands for a moment — in the limited space, you turn to face her. your eyes puffy and red, hers identical though for a different reason — she lets out another sigh before sitting up to be closer to you. your faces closer than ever, she places the half smoked blunt back on the tray before moving her hands to caress your cheeks. Giving into her touch, you let your eyes close for a moment taking in the feeling of her.

"you know why it's like this... can't lose business" she'd remind you. something everyone had reminded you. your friends called you an idiot for getting involved with her in the first place, insisting she was nothing more than a fuck girl who bribed every pretty girl she came across with free weed. constantly reminding you that she wasn't willing to settle down, that she needed to be available so girls would keep buying from her thinking they had a chance — just to end up fucked before she moves onto the next. with you, it was different in your mind. she never persuaded you the way she did with the other girls. with you, she spoke gently. never pushing for anything more than what you wanted. always prioritizing your needs over her own, something even your friends didn't believe at first.

yet, despite any of this — you weren't hers. you could never be hers she warned you from the beginning. ellie insisted it was nothing more than a friendship, telling you anything more would ruin her income. "then why do you keep me around" you spoke just above a whisper, her hands still placed on each side of your face. "i don't get it ellie. we've fucked so many times.... so many fucking times. you've got everything you needed. why do you keep bringing me back?" your eyes began to water again — ellie scoffing "you can't put all of the blame on me" she says, "you run when i call y/n". and with those words your laughing in disbelief. "god ellie you know why the fuck i come back" you raise your tone, ellies eyes locked on you as you push her hands away from your face — ellie letting you before she slightly guides your chin back to face her. "look at me" she breathes out and you obey — tears blurring your eyes. "you have more of me than anyone else..." she informs, using her thumb to catch the single tear you let fall. "isn't that enough?" she questions, her tone seeking your cooperation.

with her desperate eyes piercing through your body, you stood no chance playing against her games tonight. it was tiring to say the least, but everything in your body craved her. even if she wasn't yours — she was right. you had more of her than anyone, you should cherish it while it lasts. pleased as you give in, she kisses your temple before brushing your hair out of your face. "i'm yours right now" she adds on, "be mine right now" she states, you staring up at her with wide yet drained eyes. "are we done with this bullshit now baby?" "got it all out?" she questions, her tone almost mocking you. embarrassed, you simply nod, pulling yourself into her embrace. "atta girl" ellie praises, placing kisses on the top of your head as you conceal your remaining tears by burying urself into her body — back at square one.

[transit-fag]

What's your 'murica gets its head out of its ass wishlist' for urban planning and other major policy shifts?

Mine is:

Left side driving

Changing to metric already

Universal income, extra for disabled people

Universal healthcare for everyone in any part of the US

Defund the world spanning military, grant statehood or subsidized independence to our colonies. Maybe just like idk patrol our own waters and skies perhaps?

Defund the police, and create community outreach orgs to help all suffering ppl, including jerks who struggle so much they think killing ppl is ever okay.

Establish limits on copyright law being 20 years like patents. (With none of the bullshit loopholes)

Establish that all intellectual property deemed a public good by someone kind is forced into the public domain irrevocably. (Careful I will rant about the patent on heated boxes or life saving meds)

Requiring any company that operates in the US to pay taxes to the US, and hold their executives responsible for damages to anything or one they cause.

Public trains to/from anywhere with more than double digit population. Some other form of public transit that gets its own lane at least for anywhere that is infeasible.

Make safe, secure, private, and well made housing, a right and not a commodity.

Make food a right.

Make clothes a right.

Make good internet a right.

Make electricity a right.

Make privacy a right.

Make education an unlimited right.

All people in the US are eligible for all rights and protections etc. (Citizenship is not a requirement to be treated well)

Ban plastics in anything where natural materials are better.

Subsidize growing actual food people want to eat, not industrial resources.

Ban golf courses anywhere they cannot naturally survive.

Exclude all organizations from exerting powers like the law except for the government.

Anyone making disproportionate use of a public good like water, transportation, etc, gets taxed proportionately. (Semi trucks bad, trains good)

Provide water reclamation resources to areas without renewable clean water, no matter the cost.

Require that people in any position of power be good kind people.

Make rule of law actually mean something, if the law applies to everyone equally than enforce it equally. (Including the government and military)

Make corporations not legally people (they aren't)

No nukes or WMDs

Give NASA 10% the national budget or smth, they deserve it.

Require that companies pay the union dues of their employees.

Encourage unions.

Make the NSA about aquatic biology instead. Say the National Aquatic Association or smth.

No guns in civilization, wilderness or rural only for civilians.

Disband the CIA.

Full audits of the government all the time, no classified or secret bullshit. With great power comes great scrutiny and actual responsibility.

Establish an actual nationwide recycling system to turn trash into compost or useful materials.

Establish restorative justice practices nationwide.

I uh went off a bit sorry, I miss anything?

I agree with most of this except left side driving, that is an evil British scheme.

Also how the fuck do you require people in power to be "good kind people" do you not see how that could be abused, it's completely subjective

[leclerc-s]

big reputations - part seven

series masterlist // previous // next

sabrina carpenter LET'S GO DANNY!! GET THAT FUCKING TRACTOR IN THE FUCKING POINTS BABY!!

charles leclerc so just fuck the rest of us right? sabrina carpenter oh, i'm sorry, i wasn't aware that you were coming back to racing after being on medical leave?? charles leclerc you're right, as you were.

daphne jones don't worry charles, we're all praying ferrari doesn't fuck up your race.

max verstappen that's just not possible. it's ferrari we're talking about

charles leclerc ok fuck you. you don't even get along with your teammate away from the cameras. oscar piastri could never be me sabrina carpenter we know they don't call you oscar 'heart eyes' piastri for nothing

daphne jones you're all children

sabrina carpenter your* children

sabrina carpenter anyways, max what are your thoughts on seven by daphne?

oscar piastri GET HER OFF OF TWITTER ALREADY!!

sabrina carpenter NO!!

daniel ricciardo i don't get it, what does seven have to do with f1 twitter??

charles leclerc even i know what it means

max verstappen i also don't get it

sabrina carpenter charles and oscar get it that's all that matters

max verstappen you're a very weird person

sabrina carpenter at least none of my exes have looked like they could be my parent or my sibling

charles leclerc

oscar piastri

charles leclerc as the children say, gagged him.

max verstappen i literally hate you

sabrina carpenter that's okay. i hate you too.

daphne jones everyday i begin to question why i'm friends with any of you.

daniel ricciardo i agree. none of you are normal.

oscar piastri starting with you two.

oscar piastri i thought the worst thing about this weekend was going to be my dnf. but jesus christ, how could i be so wrong??

sabrina carpenter permission to attack?

daphne jones permission denied sabrina carpenter but mom!

max verstappen well oscar’s a fucking psychic

daniel ricciardo do you want to talk about it buddy?

charles leclerc if i fucking talk about it i think i’ll cry. so no, i don't.

oscar piastri reputation era incoming?

daphne jones not the time osc

charles leclerc it’s fucking bullshit

sabrina carpenter if i had a nickel for every time carlos inherited a position after a disqualification i’d have two nickels.

sabrina carpenter no i swear to fucking god if i see one spanish media headline bashing on charles i will be attacking, permission or no permission. sabrina carpenter why is this guy treated like the second coming of jesus christ in spanish media when fernando alonso is right there? the 2x world champion, the 106 podium placer. sabrina carpenter sainz has 18, compared to fernando it's fucking nothing

max verstappen i thought you knew that it's rumored that carlos’ family has an in with the spanish media? that’s why they love him so much.

sabrina carpenter i’m biting fucking ankles. i hope charles manages to overtake him in the driver standings just shut them up.

charles leclerc at this point it'll take a fucking miracle. lando overtook me in the standings. lando, who had a horrible fucking start to his season and was barely managing to get into the points. says a lot about my season and myself as a driver doesn't it.

daphne jones were you not the vice champion last year? you're a great driver charles, you've just had a horrible season. you've made some mistakes but the majority has been ferrari's fault. if they could just get their shit together you'd have a better season.

charles leclerc thanks, i really needed to hear that.

daniel ricciardo besides, hasn't max constantly said that he enjoys fighting on track with you? i think you're one of the few who he likes fighting with on track. last year was great for you two, maybe we'll get a repeat of it next year.

oscar piastri you're 26 charles, you've got plenty of time to get a wdc, one shitty season isn't going to change that.

sabrina carpenter i will be manifesting a podium for you in mexico to make up for this shitty weekend

charles leclerc thank you sabrina

taglist: @glow-ish @agustdpeach @msolbesg @spilled-coffee-cup @1nt3rnetgf @six-call @smol-scream @fernandoswarcrimes @arieltwvdtohamflash @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @chiliwhore

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! i have a lot of grievances about texas this year, in case you couldn't tell. realistically i know them performing at the vegas ceremony doesn't work because it clashes with eras tour dates but can we pretend the brazil shows are a week later?? i'm realizing i now have to come up with a nonsense outro for vegas, any ideas?? i did take some creative liberties with the points during the us grand prix, sorry to pierre but someone had to be sacrificed. sorry in advance for portraying carlos the way i did, BUT IT'S FOR THE STORIES PURPOSE!! I PROMISE I LIKE HIM!!

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet. enjoy!

[notsoattractivearenti]

You’re Safe With Me (Mason Mount x Reader)

WC: 1.6K

Warning/Tags: toxic mother-child relationship, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, cursing, angst, protective!bf

A/N: i really didn’t feel good today, so had to channel my negative emotions into the healthiest way possible (aka writing). this one's really angsty, tho dw it has a happy ending. hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 💗 apologies for any errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍 (ps: if you want to be added in my taglist just lmk!)

—

Even though you are an adult with a good job and stable income, you still live under the same roof as your mum. She is a single mother, and as her only child and family, you didn’t have the heart to leave her on her own. You care so much for your mother, yet she has never exactly been kind to you since you were little. She never physically hurt you, no, but her words have never failed to leave scars inside your heart. And by living with her, that means you constantly have to face her spiteful words and feeling helpless.

You met your boyfriend, Mason through a mutual friend 6 months ago. Knowing how famous he is, at first you thought he would never be interested in a nobody like you, but you were glad you were wrong. You and him clicked right away, and a month later, you both decided to be in a committed relationship.

You have never felt so truly loved before Mason came into your life. Constantly got brought down by your own mother, you always thought you don’t deserve love even from yourself. But Mason shows you that you deserve everything good in the world, and he helps you gain your self-esteem and change your negative view of yourself. He sees through you, loving you for everything you are, and makes you believe unconditional love is not just a myth.

Mason asked you to move in with him to Manchester last week, and after having long talks through the phone for days, you decided to accept it. It might sound fast, but you were really certain it’s the best decision and truly excited to live with the love of your life. But the hardest thing to do is to tell your mum you’re going to move in with your boyfriend, which means you have to relocate to another city. You have always wanted to live on your own, and though you feel guilty, you finally think it’s time to live the life you’ve dreamt of even if it also means you have to leave your mum.

Today, you finally have the courage to tell your mum you’re moving out soon. And of course, she doesn’t respond well.

“I didn’t raise you to be a selfish brat like you are today!” She yells at you.

“Excuse me? Selfish brat you say? How am I fucking selfish, Mum???” You can’t comprehend being called so by her.

“The way you want to move away and leave me to, and I quote, ‘living my life the way it should have been’, doesn’t that sound selfish to you? Stop thinking about yourself, Y/N! The fucking world doesn’t revolve around you!” She continues yelling.

“I have dedicated my life for you, Mum. I have basically lived to ‘serve’ you. I respected you, tolerated your actions no matter how badly those might affect me, I cared for you…” Your voice starts to break, “...because I love you. But I’m sorry, I’m not a superhuman and I have my limits...”

“Bullshit!” She denies. “You ‘serve’ me no shit. I gave up my exciting, beautiful life to raise a child who turned out to be an ungrateful person. If you really love me, you will not leave me. Let alone to live with some guy.”

“He is not just some guy, Mason is a guy who loves me. And genuinely cares about me. He makes me happy and helps me realise that I deserve so much better, Mum!”

“I deserve so much better!” She shouts even louder while aggressively pointing at herself. “And please, you just want his fucking money and fame. Why would a guy like him fall in love with a self-absorbed wretch like you?”

Her words, as always, instantly break your heart into a million pieces. You love her dearly, but you aren’t sure if she loves you too, though you know one thing for sure: in her eyes, you will always be on the wrong side.

“I…” You are completely shocked by your mother’s response and at that moment, you can no longer hold back your tears. You run back into your room, lock the door and cry your heart out.

—

After calming yourself down for a little while, you grab your phone to video call your boyfriend. You really need someone to talk to, and he is the one who can easily comfort you.

“Hey, baby!” Mason picks up the phone, he looks excited to see you.

“Hey…” You whimper, your eyes are still red but you try to conceal your sadness.

He immediately becomes very concerned. “Y/N… What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” You shake your head weakly. “Just had another fight with my mum…”

“Fuck.” He instantly knows your mum doesn’t take the news well. “Please, whatever it was, don’t listen to anything she said about you. You are not whatever she said you are.”

“I feel like I am… She is right, I’m a selfish brat for leaving her.” I start crying

He is heartbroken to see how much your mum has wounded you deeply. He would do everything he can to help you look at yourself beyond your mum’s hurtful words – because he knows how unpleasant your mother is and that you are nothing like your mum would say.

“Stop it Y/N! You are not selfish to think about yourself! You truly matter, baby. Your feelings are valid. She has treated you like shit all your life, even God knows you deserve to live a better life away from her.” He assures you.

You can’t seem to say anything, you just really feel like shit.

Worried about your wellbeing, Mason takes an impulsive but necessary decision at the moment for your sake. He doesn't want you to suffer any longer; he just has to get you out of there as soon as possible.

“Y/N, go pack your things. I’m going to book a flight right now and pick you up. It’s time to leave��� I’ll be there in no time.”

You actually have packed most of your belongings days ago, so you let him know you’re practically good to go.

“Good. See you soon, my love.” He hangs up the phone.

—

Hours later, Mason informs you with a text that he is coming to your house. Once you hear Mason’s car pulling over, you say goodbye to your room then bring your belongings downstairs. You want to leave without saying goodbye to your mum because you don’t want to hear her saying whatever she is going to say. You open the door quietly and Mason is about to help you when you see your mum catch you before you even leave the house.

“Hey! Where the fuck do you think you’re going!?” Your mum runs toward you and tries to harshly grab your arm but Mason denies her.

“Stay away from Y/N.” He says as he points at her. He then tells you to leave your belongings and get into the car immediately – you follow his direction right away.

“Who the fuck do you think you are!?”

“I’m someone who will love Y/N and protect them. Because their mother obviously can’t do her one fucking job.” He calls her out.

“Fuck you!” She fumes. “They’re my child, I fucking raised them, I have the right to know everything about them and do whatever I want to them!”

“They’re a fucking adult who gets to do whatever they want, including leaving a horrible mother like you. You have no right to control them. The only person who gets to control their life is themselves.” He defends you.

“I beg to differ.” She scoffs. “You’re just a little kid talking nonsense.”

“Listen to me, Y/M/N.” He speaks so intensely to your mum. “From now on, you are out of their life. They are going to live the life they deserve. You are no longer allowed to interfere with their life in any fucking way or any circumstances.”

“Oh please, you can try to keep us apart however you want but they’re going to need their mother, arsehole.” She replies as she sneers at him.

“Y/N has my mum who loves them as her own child. They will never need you, Y/M/N. And sooner or later, you’re going to realise what a good child they’ve always been, how much your life depended on them, and what a horrible mother you have always been.”

Before your mum gets to say anything else, Mason walks out of the house with your belongings in his hands, slams the door on her face and gets into the car. You see how visibly angry he is the moment he gets out of your mum’s house, though you know he is angry for you. You haven’t stopped tearing up ever since before Mason came to pick you up, but the tears are falling down on your face even more now – but this time, those are the tears of freedom, the tears of joy. The second Mason got out of the house, you know you’re finally safe. Him and his family are your safe haven now and you can’t wait to finally be around people who are genuinely supportive of you. Most importantly: you are safe without your mother, the one person you love so much but couldn’t even appreciate even the littlest thing about her one and only child.

As Mason gets into the driver’s seat and starts the car, he notices you are crying. 

“Hey, hey, you’re all good now, baby.” He reaches an arm out and rubs your shoulder, then wipes away your tears with his fingers. “You’re going to be okay.”

You nod your head and hold his hand.

“Thank you, Mase.”

“Don’t mention it, my love.” He continues rubbing your shoulder to comfort you. “As long as I’m living, you’re safe with me.”

—

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @swimmingismywholelife @chilwellspulisic @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @landoslover

[despazito]

leftism without economic theory is painful to watch like it is nuts that women are now fantasizing of becoming stay at home housewives again as a solution to the current state of “work”. or people imagining utopias where work doesn’t exist at all, im sorry that’s just completely unrealistic regardless of how much we can automate

i think that a deep drive to pursue goals is an intrinsic part of the human condition. we like to work, we feel good when we solve something complicated or finish a task, our brain gives us good chemicals in return. even those of us with disabilities who can struggle to work still want to do something. the issue is how labour gets treated and which labour is rewarded by society.

our current system values antisocial leadership practices that will do anything to improve capital, and creates bullshit jobs nobody likes for the sole purpose of extracting the most capital possible. it’s no surprise people feel alienated from such employment especially if your job is scamming people with a few extra steps. i think the disappearance of family trades run by dedicated craftsmen who owned their own means of production has also hurt. instead it’s been emotionally sterilized through college courses and employment by faceless corporations who kindly let you use their equipment in return for a fraction of your labour’s actual value.

jobs like teaching and nursing are the backbone of society but instead their labour is deemed worthless, so even folks performing these important meaningful roles want to quit because financially the world is telling them to go fuck themselves.

it doesn’t help that the new consumerist class has been groomed to feel entitled to everything and anything, combined with the aggravated political polarization its just a molotov cocktail for any potential social interaction with a stranger to become a nightmare. i don’t blame people who want to lay flat and check out of this environment, but in the long term removing yourself entirely from the labour force and removing yourself physically from everybody you may not like or want to be around won’t fix any of these community problems!!

imagine a society instead where jobs were created out of social need and valued by how they can improve life both physically and spiritually. personally the stuff i wanna do most falls squarely under ‘volunteer’ work in this current system. i’d love to donate my time to wildlife rehab and animal shelters, hell i’d gladly pick up trash from parks all day and clean up the environment if i got a living wage. because i know i’m doing something of value instead of making my boss richer.

there’s a reason women fought so hard for equal opportunities in the work force. we wanted to find societal roles and value beyond those ascribed to us from birth. i’m not gonna let tiktokers girlboss our way back into tradlife!! (not to mention the setup of supporting an entire family on a single income was very much a heterosexual white middle class concept, many poor and nonwhite women couldn’t be stay at home moms even if they wanted to!)

[givethemsmut]

Dom Mysterio x Reader

Chapter Two | Where it all started…

Shorter chapter incoming…

Expect some time jumps

Don’t own anything WWE 💪🏼

In no way, shape, or form do I edit. This story is for fun and entertainment purposes.

“Two days. Our flight is at 4 AM. Gives you time to dump the flavor of the week.” The bitterness in his voice hurt. 

“Dom. What we did- I’m sorry. Every second felt amazing, I just couldn’t commit. I was scared.”

“I haven’t been pinning, hermosa. You moved on and so did I. No hard feelings.” He was distant still, cold and vicious.

I knew about the other girls. All of them. He had made it his mission to parade them in front of me. He wanted to make sure I knew he had gotten his dick wet after me.

“No hard feelings? Tell your slut of the month to keep it down this time.” I said walking past him in my bikini as I climbed out of the hot tub. 

I wanted him to see every part of me he could. Dom followed me inside, dry as can be. “It’s not going to work, whatever bullshit you have planned. Parading around in practically nothing and rubbing your boyfriends in my face. It’s not going to make me feel bad.”

“Feel bad? We fucked, Dom. That’s not my fault you can’t get over it.” I shouted back. 

“You’re a fucking bitch for that. You wanna play games? We’ll play. Don’t come crying to me when it finally hurts the same way you hurt me.”

We had taken one leap forward just to hustle back to cruel. 

Dom had no idea there hadn’t been anyone else. No one. He just knew what it looked like and it looked like I was a slut but in reality those moans were faked and nothing went past feeling me up.

I deserved his cruelty tho so I took it like a champ.

Rey had got us a two bedroom condo only this time we didn’t share a bathroom. Dominik was kicking off training and everything WWE the very next day.

The frost melted between us enough for us to eat pizza in our mess of boxes. I wanted to badly to apologize but nothing could take back how I broke him heart.

Eventually we got over it, slowly and started being friends again. I even went to his practice matches and training sessions to support him. Our hormones and not having to share a bathroom truly helped, suddenly we could deal with that tension much easier.

I got meaningless jobs, here and there. Enough to pay for  living, rent if Rey would ever take it from me, which he declined more than once. Every penny I had went to stocking the fridge for Dom who was eating his body weight in food with the training burning extra calories.

We got extremely close again, inseparable most days and boundaries of friendship that made people uncomfortable. It made relationships hard to have and harder to keep. We both went through a period of less serious relationships with minimal risk to our friendship again.

We did have one slip up our twenties after getting drunk. None of it planned and all of it something that didn’t please his fling of the month. 

It was Randy Orton’s birthday, something we never thought we would be invited to but a lot of the roster was so we went. Dom hardly knew anyone and I was just as invisible, only I had boobs that distracted everyone. Least the horny men traveling almost the whole year. No one expected Dom to have anyone with him. He was new, inexperienced, and hadn’t paid any dues in their eyes. It was bullshit. He was the hardest working man I knew who wasn’t letting his dad’s legacy determine anything for him. If I could do anything it was making people believe he was someone before they knew him.

I put in a skin tight dress, a black thong and jean jacket that all fit every curve of my body perfect. Linking arms with Dom I could feel the respect climb the more people saw my hand in his. “Just trust me, okay? You’re gonna leave this party a superstar.”

“Why am I scared right now?” He laughed and smiled but held me closer.

Laughing into his chest I handed the bouncer our invite and breezed by without stopping. That was the night I met Randy, who was married still and raising a toddler. I had no business entertaining his flirting. I had no business letting myself be turned on by the entire night enough to convince Dom to fuck me for the second time.

The head of WWE made his way over to us, extending his hand and introducing himself. “Vince, who are you son?”

I stepped in, “Dominick Mysterio, future of WWE, respectfully.”

Vince laughed placing his hand on my arm and I was prepared to valid every rumor if it meant Dom’s hard work was paying off. “You have balls.”

“Enough to convince you to see what he can do? He’s not his dad, he’s better.”

Dominik’s hands smoothed around my waist, nuzzling his face in my hair, finding my ear. “Mi amore, he’s the owner. Slow down.”

“No one is gonna hand you anything, Dom. You have to want it enough to take it.” 

I smiled, forcing him to talk shop when his hand smoothed down my ass before squeezing. “Remember that later.”

Dom was a flirt, a great talker, dedicated to making it in the same industry his dad did. I was proud of him. 

Talking him up to everyone I let him touch me like I was his at least for the night. When we went back to our condo it was hard to turn it off when he cradled my hips asking me, “Why do you believe in me so much?”

“Because I know you. No more deserves it more.”

The way his mouth covered mine, determined to take me right along with his dreams felt out of my control. I wanted him even tho I shouldn’t have. 

Yanking my dress up to my waits he dipped down to his knee in the middle of the living room. Draping my leg over his shoulder I whimpered in desperation. “Dom. We shouldn’t.”

“Don’t say it. I already know. It’s a mistake. No one finds their soul mate at fourteen. I’ve heard it. I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m asking you to fuck my tongue.”

That’s all he had to say for me to melt and make that mistake all over again.

[xiii-e]

XIII▸ Well. I suppose I should introduce myself.

XIII▸ Hello, to all those I haven't met- which, will be most of you realistically. I'm Project XIII-E, otherwise refered to as Thirteen-E. Just Thirteen works too. After certain recent... events shall we say, a representative of the Union DoJ/HR insisted that I be given the oppertunity to meet with people outside of Harrison Purview while discussions regarding my status are underway, since things are dragging out somewhat.

XIII▸ So... this omninet account was created, with the assistance of Helios-8 [◂▸Hi folks o/ ] a fellow Project who understands all of this better than I do. He's volunteered to be my minder while I'm figuring all this out. For now, I suppose- more about me? What's important... I'm a trained field medic and basic mechanic, intended to opperate as a mobile assistance personnel wherever the fight is thickest. I can patch you, or your mech up from most things. I'm a Lancaster pilot; not the most common thing in the legion I know, but IPS-N knew what they were doing with the old lannies. I've made some alterations. M1 Leatherback is my pride and joy. I'm registered under the callsign Cicatrice, but my name is preferable. It's easier to say, and to spell.

XIII▸ Oh the uh- the Project thing. That might take a while to explain. I'll... I'll summarise it later. [ADDENDUM: summary_attached] That's all I can think of, from the top of my head. I'll do my best to aclimatise to any cultural differences outside of Harrison space during my time here. Please feel free to ask me questions, about myself or my stated expertise. It might be nice to make some more lasting connections, outside of deployment.

XIII▸ Signing off for now. I look forward to meeting you.

// loading echo.exe ... //... //... // now running echo.exe

◂▸ alrightyy, Turtie's got themself introduced, now it's my turn. howdy folks: My name is Helios-8, but I accept Lio if flashclone naming conventions turn your stomach. That's what me and Turtie are, by the way. Project-produced HA sanctioned flashclones. Being able to say that openly is why I run this nifty piece of software that keeps things below the line for any HA techs who might get on our case about legal distinctions, treaties, terms of service etc. Legally, we didn't say any of this shit.

◂▸I'm on a seperate datapad, I get my own that I can tinker with since I'm defined as an employed citizen in the tech sector, whereas Turtie's... well, it's complicated. Suffice to say they're not that. I'll explain in time. Important thing is, anything they want to say that might get them in trouble, they'll run through my interface and protective software. You want to see what either of us don't want HA seeing, we'll throw it into the void under the cloak of ECHO here. Something between insurance in case this all goes tits up, and a sort of controlled exposure therapy so Turtie can learn how to speak their mind.

◂▸I think it's important they get a break from the bullshit the Projects put us through, hence why I put myself forward to be their handler between deployments. My project line wasn't anything like Unlucky Thirteen, but- ehhh, that's a story better saved for the big expo. Sorry for being cryptic about shit. It'll come to light in its own time. This was meant to be an introduction but, I think you'll find out what you need to if you get talking to us.

Or don't; we'll be treating this thing like a diary anyways, and when ECHO's feeling up to big files I'll drop some of the more interesting pieces of history I have squirreled away too >:]c But, your eyes are enough. You saw us. You know we were here, and we were real, and that we were people too.

I'll try and keep things organised: ECHO should automatically tag anything she's cloaked with echo.exe if you're looking for our back and forth, and I'll file any large files, exposes etc that may or may not actually come from me under turtleshell.dox ; for incoming chatter, just check out You've Got Mail

◂▸anyway, cheers for reading. see you round the net -Helios-8

-----

// ooc: hiii this is @mossydice / @mossylocks depending on where you may know me- and this blog is a bit of an experiment!! I'm pretty shy overall so how much actual rping I manage to do is Very up in the air, but at the very least this'll serve as a fun in character blog for me to exposit about my scrungly Thirteen-E; I won't get to play them for probably another year or so yet, so this is a fun way to explore their character and some of the lore specific to them that I've come up with in the mean time!! ^-^ I look forward to doing more ic writing!! If you want to talk about anything, ask any clarifying questions etc please feel absolutely free to pop into my dms \o/

IMPORTANTLY: Thirteen-E's whole deal can get a bit gritty in places, so I'll be trying to include cw's where I think they might be revelent. However this whole blog is going to play heavy into dehumanisaiton and the comodification of human bodies if the flashclone premise didn't make that obvious, so if these are topics you'd rather not read about at length in your fiction, no hard feelings!! thanks for stopping by o7

[catboybiologist]

I was wondering if you had any readings on the biological aspects of transitioning, especially with the info you use to deconstruct the transphobia argument that being transgender is ‘against biology’. Im a biological sciences major, but haven’t gotten to discuss (much less find resources on) this topic.

Thanks in advance.

Long and rambling response incoming! Sorry for leaving this in my inbox for a few weeks.

This is a very interesting topic to me, and doesn't really have a clean answer. Because its not really about the biology itself, its mostly about the philosophy of science, and how it interfaces with ethics, etymology, and societal understanding. The primary thing to understand is that science is *descriptive*. Morality or classifications are societal determinations that we use to "wrap" scientific observations- gender is therefore the societal "wrapper" to sex, which, over centuries, has snowballed and taken a social definition well past any biological system.

That being said, most of my arguments hinge on the totality of changes that are possible with HRT, and how they affect the molecular mechanisms of sex determination. To me, this sheer totality means that a trans man with significant time on HRT can actually be considered a "biological man", and vice versa for a trans woman. To me, the sheer extent to which cell expression patterns change, and structural elements of the body change, means that the way that transphobes use terminology like "biological sex" is bullshit. And as I've said before, this is NOT a transmedicalist argument, and if I ever sound transmed, I am sorry. Part of the totality of this biological definition includes the interface of genetics, pyschology, and sociology that comprehensively includes all trans people, even those not on HRT. Rather, I use the changes of HRT as a way to demonstrate the plasticity of sex in humans and other animals, and how thin the barrier between sexes actually is. This punches holes in a lot of the propaganda that transphobes tend to roll out, and helps demonstrate how flimsy their talking points are. All of this is to say, something can't be "against biology" because biology is morally neutral. It's not morality. It's not static definitions. It's a set of observations. But, our thinking about definitions and classifications can reflect and be advised by these observations. For me, it helped to think about HRT changes, because my personal mentality is one of a constructed identity. I define myself by what I am in the moment, and if I can document my current state, that helps define who I am- which is a woman. The biology of transition told me how deeply that is true, and continually becomes more true, on a molecular level. So. Here's some individual papers and points that help guide my thinking on the topic, and how each helped me find peace with transitioning: Medical descriptions of changes on HRT:

I'm sure everyone is familiar with this and the WPATH, but from the perspective of medical expectations. Instead, take a look at the changes documented here, and start thinking about how deep and profound they are- these cell types and body structure are sitting there just waiting to happen, and they are literally the same as their cis counterparts. This was huge for me in accepting that my post-HRT body wouldn't be "fake", and actually is literally the

Review paper of sex determination pathways in the animal kingdom:

Transphobes use chromosomes as a prescriptive definition of sex and gender. However, if you take a broader look and see how sex determination works in animals with similar genetic mechanisms as us, it becomes pretty clear that chromosomal sex determination is a late addition to the party. Essentially, most animals use a fairly random mechanism to ensure an advantageous sex ratio in their population. This is often environmental or based on some random gene on chromosome that looks nothing like XY sex determination, but if a large chromosomal deletion comes along, its a convenient way to keep the big version of the chromosome always paired with the small chromosome- for example, the X chromosome always being paired with another X, or its half-deleted pair, the Y chromosome. But there's nothing intrinsic about the chromosomes itself that define sex, its just an evolutionary ride-along mechanism.

So what does actually determine sex? Well, as with any broad scale developmental effect, one signalling molecule or gene can cause extensive downstream genetic effects, and that active, lived set of gene expression then defines what secondary sex characteristics develop.

(even though the main point is about spermatogenesis, it does provide a lot of nice summary figures about testosterone signalling) While these papers don't talk about trans people, the introduction of cross-sex hormones will activate these pathways, and cause the wide variety of downstream transcriptional changes in gene activation. Essentially, the active genes in your body will follow the dominant upstream sex hormones in your body. If you're transfemme, on HRT, the active genes in your body are female ones. If you're transmasc, on HRT, the active genes in your body are male ones.

While I never explicitly studied trans people in my biology education, studying principles of gene regulation, chromosome biology, and just a tad of reproductive physiology means that I started to think about how all of those interface with the way we define ourselves in a lot of ways. And usually, that is dynamic- you can have developmental changes kicked off by signalling molecules later in life, and it would be deranged to ignore those changes out of spite and insist that the biological system is still the thing it was before. Sex determination is not exempt from that.

Again, I use HRT changes as an example, but you can find many similar papers on the psychology of transness even pre-HRT. But, I would caution against trying to find a "root biological reason" for being trans pre-HRT- its likely too polymodal to accurately characterize. It's why I stray away from neurological papers and arguments here. That is an ENTIRELY different argument and this post is already long. But hey, every ask I get like this helps formalize my thoughts on the matter. Hope this helped!

[vodkacheesefries]

big spoilers for dragon age the veilguard from early access players beneath the cut.

Also lengthy rambling/opinions.

proceed at thine own peril

In theory I'm okay with things being boiled down into a handful of simple questions to help new incoming players establish a background for their game.

HOWEVER, we're only getting three, and those are:

Did your Inquisitor disband/keep the Inquisition?

Did they vow to save/stop Solas?

Who did they romance?

That's it. This is. A choice.

I get it. it's been 10 years since Inquisition came out and longer since DA2 and DAO. A lot of people probably haven't played the early games, and there are hundreds if not thousands of choices across all three games that including them in Veilguard would be difficult.

But there are a handful of choices/decisions that it is absolutely wild to me that they aren't including in Veilguard's questionnaire. At the bare minimum I was hoping for the following:

What was the fate of your Grey Warden?

What was the fate of your Hawke?

Who drank from the Well of Sorrows?

Did your Inquisitor disband/keep the Inquisition?

Did your Inquisitor vow to save/stop Solas?

That's it! Only two more questions than we already have, and two of them are the same as the ones we're getting. All of the important story choices, and small choices that you could make in the prior games boil down to the fate of your character in that game so there's no need to get more detailed than that.

For example, obviously if your Warden survived the final battle, the dark ritual took place, so there's no need to ask more about it. Obviously if Hawke was left in the fade, they didn't go to Weisshaupt, and Alistair/Loghain/Stroud stayed in the Fade. Obviously if Morrigan drank from the well of Sorrows, your Inquisitor isn't going to be linked to Mythal, but Morrigan is.

Those feel like arguably the most important story beats from the previous games and I feel like that still keeps it simple enough and doesn't rely on importing potentially thousands of choices you made across the three prior games, while still explaining just enough without having to explain too much to new players.

(side note: I suppose if we want to get extra fancy we can add a question for "Who did your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor romance" because callbacks to those relationships have always been fun, especially if we're getting any sort of cameo of past companions. Which at this point, I don't think we are.)

As far as past player characters returning, I get why that's hard to do because there's so many different endings for the Warden, and even Hawke post Inquisition. Would I like for them to show back up? Sure. But I'm okay if they don't.

TBH the most I've been hoping for is that maybe somewhere in a level/mission you're on, maybe with Davrin, you could find an easy to miss crumpled up letter/codex entry on it talking about how if your Warden was still alive they found a cure and disappeared into a well deserved retirement and to not bother them with anymore end of the world bullshit ever again.

Hell, I'd even accept it if it mentioned they'd started hearing the Calling and went to the Deep Roads and they're sorry they couldn't do more. I just want to know what happens to them. It doesn't have to be a pivotal plot point or anything.

Crumbs.

I am begging for crumbs, Bioware.

PS: I know it sounds like I'm being incredibly critical of the game, but I am actually very excited for it and I do think I'll enjoy it, despite any ties, or lack thereof, to prior games. I'm a big fan of being critical of the things you enjoy.

Now if you want me to get really critical because I don't like something, ask me how I feel about Inquisition because WHOOO boy I could give a Ted Talk about how much I dislike Inquisition.

[its-vannah]

Being in a relationship with Warren Rojas | Headcannons/Timeline

A/N: Sorry the GIF is so small lmao. Bit of angst in this one but it's got a happy ending, mentions death

Daisy Jones and The Six Masterlist

- You and Warren met while he was working on boats to bring in some income to stay afloat while the band was on hiatus

- You had the whole privileged rich girl going for you, never daring to break the rules and wanting to protect your image. Warren, on the other hand, strolled into his first day working high as a kite.

- He did his job well, and when you got him lunch that day, as you did everyone who was working as a treat, he jokingly asked you to marry him as he scarfed down a sandwich.

- Your mother, a famous actress, and your father, a filmmaker, owned a boat that was in need of repairs and a cleaning.

- While your parents were at work, you sat on the edge of the dock with Warren, effectively dragging out how long it took him to do his work. But he enjoyed your company.

- The two of you made out in the captains quarters a few days after meeting. If it hadn't been for you seeing your dad pull up in his car, it probably would've gone further.

- You and Warren continued to sneak sround though, whether it was in his van, at his place, on the boat, on the beach. He had to keep a somewhat low profile as the band's popularity grew, so official dates weren't really in the cards.

- Once your father found out about your relationship with the drummer, he flipped out, immediately telling your mother. The two of them sat you down and told you that you were wasting your life on a nobody.

- You told them he's not a nobody, he means everything to you.

- Giving you an ultimatum, he said it was either them or him.

- You called Warren, waking him up at around midnight asking him to pick you up at the pub by your house.

- He came to get you, no questions asked

- When you got in the car, you started crying. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his lap as you let out your frustrations.

- You told him you didn't have a family to go back to. He said "bullshit" and asked if you wanted to elope.

- Figuring it couldn't get any worse, you agreed. You walked into your parents house, who thought you had come to your senses. But you walked right past them and went to your room, fitting anything and everything you could into bags and another suitcase, loading them into Warren's van. You left without another word.

- Warren drove you to Vegas and the two of you stopped by a dingy wedding chapel. You got changed into one of your white, lace sundresses and let your hair down. Warren wore a button up, actually snapping a few of the bottom buttons to "make it more formal" and jeans.

- The two of you exchanged vows and filed for a marriage license. While you weren't technically legally married yet, you had the ceremony out of the way.

- You moved into Warren's place, separate from the band, who didn't learn about your wedding until they broke up. There were many questionable things Warren did, but he wasn't going to make the mistake of letting the press get in the way of your relationship.

- The band asked what he was going to do now that The Six was finished, and he said he was going to go home to his wife. They laughed, thinking he was joking, but he was dead serious. He didn't wear a ring on his finger. Instead, he wore it on a chain around his neck. They thought it was a fashion choice.

- Graham was the first to meet you, introducing himself to you. He was surprised to find you seven months pregnant.

- Warren was thrilled at the idea of being a dad, and later asked Graham if he'd be the godfather.

- When you gave birth to your baby girl, you decided on the name Aurora James after the band's album and James because, well, you were running out of ideas.

- Your parents reached out and tried to bribe you to come back home and raise the baby, as Warren wouldn't be "a fit husband". You refused and told them never to contact you again.

- They went to the press and revealed that you were a disappointment to the family name. Warren carried you through it, saying you had his family name now. None of that mattered anymore.

- Warren got a job renting boats out to people and made a decent living on it, on top of the money he had from his days in the band and the royalties he still earned from the albums.

- When your second daughter, Daphne, was born, you and Warren took turns taking care of the girls. When you needed extra sleep, he'd balance them each on a hip and do his zoomba workouts.

- Your third child, a boy who you named Reggie because Warren liked the way Reggie Rojas sounded, kept the two of you on your toes. He was his father made over.

- Warren eventually sold his business, not before buying one of his own, and made millions off of it. The two of you sailed around the world after your kids left for college. Or, in Reggie's case, to pursue music.

- Warren passed before you did, which broke your heart. You continued sailing, staying closer to home and not going too far out in his memory, letting the breeze take you in the right direction.

- You attended his posthumous induction into the Rock Hall of Fame with your children and grandchildren. You also witnessed your son being inducted before your ultimate death a few years later.

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #346: James Moriarty (Ruler)

today on grailfinders we’re building for the very first time James Moriarty, because even FGO got tired of that true name-hiding bullshit. also because archer of shinjuku (ruler) just sounds ridiculous. anyways, Jim-boy is still a Mastermind Rogue to mastermind some roguishness, but he’s also a Lore Bard now to play his part to perfection.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

next up: how many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?

Ancestry & Background

as before, Moriarty is a Human, but he’s a fictional human, so he gets +1 Dexterity and Charisma, as well as proficiency in Sleight of Hand and the Martial Adept feat. with this, your slide rule can slide to any length, letting you perform one Lunging (extra reach) or Sweeping (multiple targets) attack per short rest.

I hope this isn’t shocking, but James Moriarty is a Criminal. if that is, I guess that’s his Deception and Stealth at work.

Ability Scores

Moriarty’s highest score is Charisma. he’s real great at lying, and playing to his character. after that is his Intelligence. we don’t really need it for this build, but moriarty is one smart cookie. wait sorry, wrong gacha. third is his Dexterity. that’ll help you slap people with a ruler and also multiclass! your Constitution is also positive since you need to live to the ripe old age of Archer, so your Strength is just kind of meh. turns out professors are not bodybuilders. except for that one guy, but I don’t think Frankenstein counts. this all means we’re dumping Wisdom. playing the perfect villain is your biggest strength and weakness- you’ll always succeed right up to the last step, but then you need to take a fall. that sounds a lot like being hypnotized, so your wisdom saves are trash now- we’ll patch up the abilities as we go.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: starting off as a rogue lets us get started on that right away, giving you proficiency in Insight, Perception, Performance, and Persuasion, as well as Dexterity and Intelligence saves. if that cool +2 isn’t enough for you, you can also get Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency bonus in them for a nice +4 to Deception and Persuasion.

rogues also get a Sneak Attack once per turn, adding 1d6 to your damage if you hit someone with a ranged or dexterity-based attack, and you either have an accomplice nearby, or advantage on the attack roll.

also you know Thieves’ Cant now, it’s a language that thieves can learn!

2. Rogue 2: second level rogues have a Cunning Action they can use as a bonus action, letting you dash, disengage, or hide without wasting your chance to stab someone this turn.

3. Rogue 3: if you’d rather waste every other part of your turn to stab really well, you can use your Steady Aim to get advantage on an attack at the cost of not moving that turn. but you’re also a Mastermind now, making you a Master of Intrigue. with this you learn even more languages, as well as proficiency with the disguise and forgery kits. also, if you listen to someone speak for a least one minute you can copy their accent. that’s why you don’t sound british.

if you were hoping for something even remotely combat-based, you can at least check out your Master of Tactics, which lets you help as a bonus action, giving someone else advantage on an attack, with an expanded range to boot!

4. Rogue 4: use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Dexterity! that’ll improve your AC, your attack damage, and your accuracy!

5. Rogue 5: fifth level rogues get an Uncanny Dodge, so if you’re hit by an attack you can react to halve the incoming damage. as a ruler your damage should always be halved, but we’re only level five, we’ll get there when we get there.

6. Bard 1: now you’re definitely villainous, but are you an antagonist? we’ll sure try to make you one! as a bard you get another skill proficiency, and while I don’t think you’re great at Medicine you’re definitely better than a -1, so now you’re proficient.

as a bard, you can use Bardic Inspiration to inspire your henchmen to new heights, maybe even making them a villain of the week! right now it just means a d6 on their next check or attack, but still!

you also learn Spells which you can cast using your Charisma. with Blade Ward you take half damage from all physical attack types, and Prestidigitation is just the kind of bullshit spell you give someone who needs to be ready for anything. with Bane you can give your enemies “protagonist in a cutscene” syndrom, reducing all their attacks and saves by 1d4 for up to a minute. if you really need to mess someone up, Silvery Barbs basically gives them disadvantage on an attack check or save, and an ally of yours advantage on their next one!

also you’re a rogue, so Disguise Self and Distort Value. you could probably do both of those already, but now you have magic to do it for you!

7. Bard 2: second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, so all your checks are made with at least half your proficiency bonus. also you have a Song of Rest which marginally helps heal during short rests, and your Magical Inspiration lets your minions add your inspiration to their magical healing or damage. I bet Arjuna Alter would make a great minion, he seems easy to manipulate.

speaking of, you can cast Command now, to force a creature to villainy! but it has to be a one-word command, and also they have to fail a wisdom save first. again, we’re starting out.

8. Bard 3: at third level you become a Lore bard, giving you three more proficiencies in Animal Handling, Survival, and Intimidation, filling out all your wisdom- and charisma-based skills. if that wasn’t enough, you also get another round of Expertise, doubling down on Sleight of Hand and Intimidation. clowns are scary in america, and sherlock gets really rattled when you show up in traum. it’s not the best reason for expertise but you’ve got so many skills I’m kind of grasping at straws here.

you can also cast Suggestion now, convincing a creature to commit crimes with a sentence or two. you can’t get them to do obviously harmful acts, so “hey, punch that tarrasque” is off the table. you can also set the condition to trigger remotely, giving you sleeper agents in the field!

one last thing- lore bards get Cutting Words, letting you use your reaction and inspiration to weaken an attack or check from an enemy.

9. Bard 4: bump up your Charisma for stronger bonds with your minions. and by bonds I of course mean mind control.

for even more weakening, the cantrip Vicious Mockery deals psychic damage and forces disadvantage on the target’s next attack roll! dying is a major obstacle, so just don’t do it. if there’s any other obstacles in your way that you somehow don’t have a proficiency to deal with, Borrowed Knowledge can help out, giving you another proficiency for an hour.

10. Bard 5: the fifth level is huge for bards, growing your inspiration dice to d8s and making you a Font of Inspiration, so it recharges on short rests. also you learn third level spells, like Enemies Abound. this arguably doesn’t make a creature evil, but as long as they’re attacking the good guys it’s close enough for horseshoes.

11. Bard 6: at sixth level bards get Countercharm but enough about that, you also get Additional Magical Secrets! scientists are still hard at work to figure out what they’re additional to, but we don’t need to worry about that.

now you can use Fireball to finally use your NP! its kind of weird how much more difficult one of your skills is compared to your NP, but sometimes these things happen. speaking of, while “flip target’s alignment” probably isn’t in Bestow Curse’s wheelhouse, there’s nothing saying you can’t use it for that, so why not.

also for your normal spell you get Dispel Magic to break through any magical obstacles between you and world domination.

12. Rogue 6: sixth level of rogue isn’t as flashy, but the Expertise in Stealth and Insight are still very much appreciated.

13. Rogue 7: seventh level rogues have 4d6 sneak attacks, but they also get Evasion! now every failed dex save is a success, and every success is like you never fell into your own fireball in the first place. I mean, obviously you would never, right?

14. Rogue 8: at eighth level, you get another ASI, so bump up your Dexterity again to really wallop people with that slide rule.

15. Rogue 9: a ninth level mastermind is an Insightful Manipulator, so spending one minute with any creature can score you insight into its soft stats or its backstory! the villain always seems to suss out the hero way faster than the other way around, right?.

16. Rogue 10: use your tenth level ASI to max out your Charisma for the strongest magic you can get- plot armor.

17. Rogue 11: by eleventh level rogues have a Reliable Talent, which means any checks you make with proficiency always score at least a 10 on the roll. that means no more critical failures, and even with negative wisdom every wisdom-based check is at least a 15.

18. Bard 7: Bouncing back to bard gives you access to fourth level spells like Charm Monster. if you make someone friendly to you, they’ll be hostile to good, which makes them evil!

19. Bard 8: use your last ASI on the Tough feat for a bonus 38 HP now and another two at level 20. rulers can take a beating, and now you’re no exception.

20. Bard 9: ninth level bards get fifth level spells, and we can finally get the best evilmaking spell in the game, Dominate Person. if they fail a wisdom save they’re charmed for up to a minute, during which they’ll obey any command you give them, and you can even control them directly if you so wish. if you want evil done well, you have to do it yourself.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

reliable talent plus your ungodly number of skills means you’re really good at skill checks of all kinds. even if you need to do something physical, you can slap down a borrowed knowledge and power your way through that locked door or over that wall.

you’re almost always in control of a situation, with plenty of ways to turn a situation with your advantage with a bit of creativity. you can empower yourself or your allies, weaken your enemies, talk people into things they wouldn’t do otherwise, and worst case scenario just literally take control of someone to make them do what you want.

we didn’t give a lot of focus on your slide rule in the build itself, but you shouldn’t underestimate a weapon with extra length on command. that added flexibility can mean the difference between attacking someone this turn or giving them an extra turn to escape.

Cons:

you only get one lunging or sweeping attack per short rest, and your bardic inspirations also don’t recharge until the day’s done until level 10, so actually using all your cool abilities saddles you with some time off for most of the build.

speaking of time off, everything but your main action is super crowded, with your bonus action helping your mobility, stealth, spells, inspiration, help, and aiming, while your reaction can block damage, deal damage, and use silvery barbs. so there’s a lot of off time when you don’t want it, and no off time when you do.

while we made your wisdom skills stronger, your wisdom saves are still absolutely terrible, especially considering you’d’ve gotten proficiency in them if you were just a regular rogue. as you very well know from your own toolkit, failing a wisdom save can be a serious issue for your party to deal with.