#sorry for all the posts i have so many thoughts. so much caffeine in me

[dawnssummers]

when willow's first gay kiss was almost a soul sucking demon in inca mummy girl. also when angel's vampire demon had to do internal battle with the gay demon (that's what eyghon is) in the dark age the first half of season 2 was hilarious

[saltyyuuri]

Deadlock x GN!reader

💛Blunt honesty💛

words:1850

Note from Salty (me): pls excuse the spam post I can't help it I have too many ideas flowing in-I legit haven't written fanfiction in so long and now that I got back in it I can't fucking stop- anyways I am basing this fanfic off a Iso x deadlock post I saw and I'm obsessed with (fanart in question on @sunsettemplar posts)

Warnings: foul language

Song (Chemical - post malone)

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"Well I'm sorry, but it's shit- plain and simple." The blonde Norwegian declared loudly, her clear blue eyes boring into yours as she held up a can of red bull, a new flavor that had been released recently that you wanted to try. You thought it was good- but Iselin seems to have quite the opposite opinion.

"Iselin, C'mon it's not that bad-" you Chuckled out softly, sipping the drink again. The flavor was iced vanilla berry, and since you loved vanilla flavored thing- you assumed that you'd live this new drink. Indeed; the taste was getting addictive - more than expected. "(Y-N); You know I love you, right?" Iselin said, resting her real hand onto your shoulder for a short moment. "Yea ..?" You replied, cocking your head to the side.

"Good. I love you- But you have poor taste in drinks. That red bull tastes foul." She once more deadpanned- gently squeezing your shoulder affectionately as she spoke to you. Her slightly messy blonde hair fell to the side as she cocked her head to the side, leaning in to place a small and slightly rough peck on your cheek. "More for me then-" you giggle out, sipping the drink once more, not realizing that you had essentially nearly finished the can already.

"(Y-N), darling, I think that enough caffeine for today-" Iselin said as she cocked an eyebrow at your rapid consumption of the drink- lord knew you could be a gremlin when you had to much caffeine in your day. You simply smiled, finishing the can to toss it out- already feeling the burst of energy starting to take over. All Iselin could do at that moment was sigh and shake her head- but she did let a small smile take over, because whether she liked it or not- your energy burst were contagious.

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"Iselinnnnnnn-" You called out loudly from your dorm, the door was barely cracked open but lord knew you had some damn lungs in you, and Deadlock could quite literally hear you calling out for her from the common room. You had decided to spend your energy on cleaning your dorm room, now that you had some motivation you went in full swing.

Iselin made her way to your dorm- peeking her head in with a deadpan look as always. "Yes, darling?" She simply asked in a much calmer, flat tone as she watch you sort through piles of things. You turned around instantly, strutting over to her. You had a brand new, still in the package lipstick - one you had bought maybe a few months back, but the more you looked at it, less it seemed like your shade. It was a shame- the color was really pretty.

You walked up to Iselin - holding up the packaging near her face, simply observing, looking as her then the shade. "What are you doing?" Iselin once more asked in a deadpan, mild disinterested with the sudden color matching session. "I think this shade would suit you better than it would on me- wanna try it on?" You asked her with a small smile forming. You gently handed her the packaged lipstick, watching as she took it with her bionic arm, looking only mildly interested now.

"I don't usually wear lipstick. But I can try it, yeah." She simply said before tearing the package open, finally freeing up the lipstick tube from its cardboard and plastic packaging. She headed to a nearby mirror- the one mounted over your dresser- to apply the reddish brown lipstick; as she walked over she read the packaging briefly for the fun of it. "Highly pigmented, transfer proof... Hm."

She finally started to apply the lipstick - the color suiting her quite well. You walked up behind her, looking at her reflection with a slight smitten look on your face. "You look pretty." You said with a smile as you looked at her reflection.

"Mhm... I want to test the lipstick and see if it's as good as advertised." Deadlock said, turning to look at you, a small smirk forming on her lips. Before you can ask her how or why- she had a hand gripping your chin to hold your face in place. "WaiT-!" But any further questions or protests were brutally cut off with her lips- first on your lips before being peppered all over your face.

You turned into a giggling mess- feeling giddy and slightly flustered as she gave you that sudden burst of affection, your cheeks tinting a light pink while she left lipstick marks all over. After about a minute of her attack; Iselin pulled back, still holding your chin as she looked over your face.

Iselin frowned, taking out her phone. She turned your head to face to mirror, face squished in her hand. You had a smitten look on your face while she looked annoyed, snapping a picture of you two in the mirror. "It's not transfer proof -... And highly pigmented my ass- after the two first kisses its faded." Iselin mumbled out - she was actually going to leave a 1 star review on the brands website with the picture of your kiss-marked face as proof.

"Iselin! I look dumb in that picture -" you whined slightly, your face still being squished in her hand as she was writing the review with her other hand. "Darling, you always look dumb. But you're my dummy." Deadlock replied - finishing up her review before turning to place another kiss on your lips before you could make any complaints on her remark- once more melting into the kiss.

"I need to head off to prepare for a mission now, darling." Iselin said as she pulled away from the kiss, loosening her grip on your chin and jaw before pulling you into a hug. You were still a but lovestruck from her affection bombing of Earlier, but that went without any complaints on your end- and she knew very well that you were enjoying every second of the affection she had to give. "Be safe, Iselin. I love you!" "Love you too, (Y-N)."

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Deadlock had left for her mission and you were finishing up cleaning your dorm- your face still covered in kiss marks from deadlock and her new lipstick. You didn't mind it one bit- instead anytime you saw yourself in the mirror, you were giggling like a kid. The suddenness of Iselin's affection - even if it was to 'test' the lipstick- was always welcome on your part.

You knew she was a blunt and honest person - so moments like those meant so much more than it looked. Sure, she could be a bit dry on words and sometimes looked cold on her actions towards you- but if you look past the blunt exterior - her intentions and her honesty in it all is what made you melt and fall for her a bit more every time.

It had been a few hours, dinner time passing by fast as you made yourself something easy and fast to eat, mainly passing time on your phone as you waited for Deadlock to send you a message. It was in her habit to send a short, quick text whenever she was nearly done with the mission - or fully done- to assure you she was okay. You weren't generally too worried for her; she was with a team of more than capable agents to help her if need be.

And the text came by sooner than anticipated, making you smile giddily. It was just a short text, a simple "Everyone's okay- heading home soon 💛" but it always made you happy to get that good news message. You tapped on the notification on your phone, opening the chat bubble to text her back.

You: "Good to hear you're okay, love 💛"

You: "Are you in the aircraft to head back? Or still on the field?"

Iselin: "Just boarded."

You: "... So you aren't busy right now, riiiiight? 👀"

An idea was bubbling into your mind, cackling slightly as you hopped up from your bed-setting your phone down for a short moment. You rummaged in your closet, taking out her Zip up hoodie you had stolen a short while ago when she was out on a different mission. You set the lighting in your dorm to only be on the fairy lights around your mirror before getting to work.

You took off any clothes you had on except for your underwear - wearing the hoodie unzipped. You still had the lipstick marks on your face- adding a bit of spice. You picked up your phone, angling the camera to snap a picture - where the open hoodie showed off your nude chest, where the underwear was visible along with your thighs. Half your face could be seen on the picture - but the kiss marks were visible as day. You finally opened the text chat with your lover once more.

Iselin: "No- I am in the aircraft, so just on my phone. Why?"

You: "Oh no reason 👀"

Iselin: "...What did you do?"

You: "*1 image attachment.*"

You: "just this 💛"

Iselin looked at her phone in slight confusion, finally deciding to tap on the image attachment and look at the picture you sent. Once it loaded up and opened on her phone screen - she hummed in approval as a small smirk formed onto her face. The small change of behavior seemed to have caught Killjoy's attention - turning to look at her teammate.

"What has you looking at your phone that way?" Killjoy asked in a slightly teasing tone towards Iselin - raising her head slightly as if to try to peek at the phone. Iselin was quick to shut her phone- hiding her screen immediately. "(Y-N) Sent nudes." Iselin bluntly replied, her deadpan stare coming straight back as she looked at Killjoy - watching as the other sentinel froze up, clearly not expecting that answer.

"..Are you pulling my leg-?" Killjoy asked a bit bluntly, still a bit surprised by Iselin's blunt honesty. "No, she sent me a nude in my zip up hoodie." Iselin replied once more with a bit more honesty than she should have had. "I... I didn't need to know that -" killjoy said as she took a step back, allowing deadlock to have some privacy for her phone once again. "You asked." The blonde woman simply retorts, opening her phone once more.

Iselin: "You look hot in my hoodie. You going to stay like that till I get back?"

You: "If you want me too 👀😇"

Iselin: "I want you, yes."

You: "That's not-"

You: "I mean yes, I want you very much too but close enough I guess 😂💛"

Iselin: "I mean, you understood 🤷🏼‍♀️💛"

Iselin: "Now be good, I'll be home in 30. Love you."

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[bbinkus11]

Okay, @hotcheetohatredwastaken, listen up.

I got your fic!!!!!!!

I know this isn’t what you wanted right now, but I’ll have a chapter for each of the boys. So there will be ten chapters, all centric for the different boys in Hamilton. This one was to get everything straight, to get roles situated, etc.

I hope you like it! 👇

Roles!!

Ganondorf: Director

——— Links

Legend: Alexander Hamilton

Hyrule: Aaron Burr

Twilight: Hercules Mulligan

Sky: John Laurens

Wild: Lafayette

Four: Samuel Seabury/Charles Lee

Time: Phillip Schuyler

Wind: Young Phillip Hamilton/Ensemble

Warriors: George Washington

——— Zeldas

Fable: Peggy Schuyler

Dawn: Ensemble/Background singer

Dusk: Angelica Schuyler

Sun: Eliza Schuyler

Flora: Prop and Stage crew/likes telling people what to do

Dot: Ensemble/Background Singer/stage and prop crew

Lullaby: Down in the pit (ocarina)

Tetra: that one lady that stops the bullet at the near end so Hamilton can recap/ramble/ensemble

Artemis: Down in the pit playing music (violin)

(I apologize for the lack of roles the Zelda’s get, there aren’t many female roles in Hamilton and I don’t have many choices) :(

———

“Legend, this is a rehearsal, not the actual show. Get your coat on and let’s go.” Hyrule poked Legend before leaving, rolling his eyes playfully.

“‘Rulie, I’m pretty sure Hamilton wouldn’t like it either if his hair looked like a mess in a ballroom.” He shot back, not being rude, but in a sarcastic way.

“I’m gonna have to agree with Legend this time.” Warriors added to their short conversation, poking his hair under his hat.

“No one asked you, Warriors. You’re basically bald!” Wild said as he walked in, still using his French accent.

“Hey!”

“Okay everyone, get your stuff and go! Artemis won’t stop playing the same song over and over again. She overthinks too much, I swear…” Flora trailed off at the last part. Otherwise shouting the first part. Everyone practically terrified of Flora and her consequences (and the clipboard she hit everybody with), everyone quickly shuffled out of backstage and into their spots for ‘Helpless’.

Sun’s perspective was… confusing. Lining up her lines with the music, spinning, dancing, and remember to add vibrato! Her thoughts invaded her constantly when she sang, it drove her crazy. “-and my heart went boom-“ The sound affect was spot on, now just keep going to the left, grab Dusk and drag her along with me…

Legend’s perspective was slightly less confusing, coming in slightly after the song starts and walking over to the stairs on the left side, being aware of his surroundings and making sure everything goes smoothly and planned. He stands on the stairs for a bit and oh Dusk is coming, look intrigued, meet Sun and go from there.

The background dancers' skirts spun and the music led them. The piano was on beat with their steps, changing with the notes and turning with the lyrics. Waiting for entrances was the worst part, but the dances were enjoyable and the singing had to be done with ease.

After the long rehearsal, the actors and actresses all met backstage.

“Anyone want to come to the Diner down the street with me and Flora?” Wild simply asked, tugging his boots off to put his blue Crocs on.

“Hell yeah!”

“No Wind, your grandma told me to get you home by nine. Also, it’s way too late for someone your age to go and get caffeine, you know…” Sky kindly objected. He was busy getting his keys, phone, wallet and all of his stuff in check before he left with Sun and Wind. He always manages to forget his things, apparently.

“I’ll go! Dot will too. I will be late though because I have to drop off my violin at home so it doesn’t go out of tune again, in this cold.” Artemis shouts from across the room.

“Me and Wars will go. Maybe Four will if you bug him enough.” Twilight adds. Shaking his muddy boots, he somehow got a kick on one of the wooden posts backstage. Dot was immediately on him, scolding him about not knowing how hard it is to get those up. “Sorry! Sorry!” Was all he could say before being pushed out of the backstage door.

“Welp, guess we’re going that way. Anyone else?” Wild sighed.

“Not me, I'm old and tired.” Time says, walking out the door.

“I’m going home.” Dawn and Dusk almost say in unison.

“I’m gonna go to my friends house, tell Legend to yell at me if anything happens.” Fable says in between several taps of her phone.

“Hyrule and I are coming. Give me a second, the zipper on my bag broke again.” Legend says, his back to Wild.

Wild looks around, observing Lullaby, Four, and Tetra are already nowhere to be seen. He waited a second, before feeling a breath on his neck.

“Ah!-“

“You.”

“Geez, what, Flora? I told you we’re leaving in a minute.”

“Give. Me. Your. Mic.”

“Ohhh, haha, totally didn’t forget about that. It happens, you know? Yeah, haha, I’ll get that for you…” Wild nervously laughed as he dug through his duffel bag, his face growing redder and redder in realization that he couldn’t find it. Flora is going to kill him, do doubt. He continued shoving through piles of who knows what, and almost melted when he felt the thin metal line that felt suspiciously like his mic. He handed her the microphone, still melting.

“Lose this again, and you’ll lose your head.” Flora threatens, before turning her back and stomping to the door that leads to the light and sound booth.

Legend and Hyrule were ready by then. Twilight had been kicked outside. Artemis was going to be late. Warriors was probably still in the mirror. Flora was gonna be out in a minute. Perfect! Let’s go eat dinner with a bunch of music and history geeks.

—

“Still, I don’t get why you think half notes are better than quarter notes. The shorter the better. It’s what I used to say to Four, heh.” Dot says, closing her laptop to shove an entire handful of fries into her mouth.

“Because! They're half notes! What more needs to be said!” Legend argued from across the table.

“Legend, if you yell one more time, I swear I’m gonna call Fable to come and pick your petty ass up.” Hyrule mumbles so only Legend can hear. They had been arguing about half notes against quarter notes for the last fifteen minutes. And honestly, whole notes are superior, depending on the key signature.

“Okay,” Flora sighed, finally finding a space of silence, “all jokes aside, how do we think it’s going so far?”

“I’m lovin it. My rap part is better than all a’ y’all’s. I basically get to say ‘your mom’ in a history musical. It’s great.” Twilight says, leaning back in the restaurant booth chair.

“I like finding something to do with my voices.” Wild claims. “I can do a French accent, British accent, American accent, Elmo, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Twilight, Russia-“

“Hey! What is tha’ supposed to mean?” Twilight interrupted, throwing his hands up. Wild just stared for a good three seconds, then continued. “King Julian from Madagascar, Cookie Monster, The dad from—“

“Okay, that’s enough. Anyone else?”

“I’m basically on the 1$ bill.”

“That has nothing to do with the musical itself, Warriors.”

“Yeah but still.”

“Please stop talking.”

An irritated sigh came from Flora. You would probably need to hypnotize them to get them to stay focused.

“I get to shoot Legend at the end!”

“Hyrule! You can't say that out in public!”

At least it was somewhat related to the musical.

—

Thank you for reading!! I know it’s short, but the others will be much longer (in a good way). I wrote this from trauma of how aggressive the people in charge of the microphones can be, like, they take it seriously.

Chapter two! 👉

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC questionnaire

Thanks to @illarian-rambling here, @saltysupercomputer here, @the-golden-comet here and here, @drchenquill here, @cwritesfiction here,

@elsie-writes here, and @mk-writes-stuff here!

I've actually been tagged in this a lot more (I love you guys and I love this game but oh my God), but I'll put those in a different post otherwise it would be twice as long. Let's cap it off at eight like I did last time.

Rules: answer the given questions in the POV of an OC!

Past questionnaires:

Round one masterpost

Round two Tyler, Gwen, Liam, Noelle, Akash, Robbie, Sam, Ewan

Keep reading for Jazlyn, Carla, Wade, Rose, Maddie, Xitlali, Jedi, and Lexi!

#1- Jazlyn

What is one job you'd never take, no matter how good the pay is?

��Ughhh anything that involves sitting at a desk all day! Something with so much structure and rules it drives me insane. I have to be active, y'know? Something challenging. If I had a job that was too easy, I'd just about die.”

Did you have a favorite childhood toy?

“Aw, now you're having me remember my Monster High collection. I thought I was so edgy, too. I was too young when they first came out, but when I was... I dunno, seven-ish I found the web series and became obsessed.”

Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

“Too hot. I can keep myself warm, but then my powers are weakened when I do that. Hot I can handle with no side effects.”

Other Jazlyn: questionnaire one, interview

#2- Carla

Do you like caffinated beverages? If so, which ones?

“Oh, Alium has multiple caffeinated beverages that I love! I am quite fond of many kinds of tea, like chammomint or lemonder. Tyler recently introduced me to a Ceteri energy beverage called Red Bull. It was certainly interesting, and unlike anything we have here.”

What is a piece of media that you hold very dear and/or that is very important to you?

“Oh, that's easy, The Storm Riders! It's my favorite book of all time. It got me through the times George was gone to work.”

Do you hold grudges? How long?

“I try not to remain in the past. I try to look forward. It's hard sometimes... I don't know how long I hold grudges... I'm not even sure if I have a 'grudge' against those who caused me pain, and I... I don't know. Sorry if this was a rambling answer.”

Other Carla: OC in three, two truths and a lie, bingo, questionnaire one

#3- Wade

Are you a dog person or a cat person?

“Dog person. I have a lovely girl named K'Ehleyr. She is the sweetest thing you'll ever see. Wanna see some pictures?? I have so many pictures, come look. Here she is with me. Here she is with Teo. Here she is with me and Teo. Here she is with Parker...”

How far do you think you can throw a hand-sized rock?

“Further than most. I play football, which isn't the same thing, but I'm in decent shape and have a good throwing arm. I've chucked some of Gabriel's rocks before, so I have practice. Am curious to see the results, though.”

Who is the one person who you can trust to keep a secret?

“I could trust both Teo and Parker. Some may not understand the latter, but he's actually very respectful of others' secrets even if he doesn't understand them.”

Other Wade: two truths and a lie, interview, questionnaire one, kiss Picrew

#4- Rose

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

“Introvert. But if Lexi isn't there, I seem to do the group introductions.”

As a gift, do you prefer flowers or jewelry?

“Jewelry. I can pair them with clothes, and I like doing that.”

If you could swich life with someone, who and why?

“... I wanted to switch lives with Lexi for a while. It seemed like she had everything. Now I'm unsure.”

Other Rose: questionnaire one, OC in three

#5- Maddie

Is life going the way that you hoped it would?

“Hm. I'm not sure. I don't think ahead often to hope for things. I guess life is fine. I like my powers, I like being in the robotics club. Yeah, it's good.”

What is in your pocket right now? Why?

“Wilfredo. Kelsey made him for me.”

If you could relive a single minute of your past, what minute would you pick?

“I dunno. Hm. Maybe... The trip to Six Flags was fun.”

Other Maddie: OC in three, OC in fifteen, two truths and a lie, questionnaire one, bingo, Picrew, interview, bag, origin

#6- Xitlali

What type of music do you like to listen to?

“Nothing you'd be familiar with. I listen exclusively to Alii music, especially stuff by Inutilia artists that advocate for our rights. Cheung An's stuff is really good.”

What's an unpopular opinion you have?

“*scoffs* That Inutilia should have rights is one that shouldn't be unpopular but apparently is. But even amongst people like me, here's a hard pill to swallow: Atsila McLain SUCKED. You think she actually legitimately cared about us? She had no idea what we went through, what we STILL go through. Raissa Kamanzi may have ruined our reputation, but Atsila McLain just made it easier for bigots to hate us. McLain did nothing to help us. She had no reform ideas. She was a power-hungry bitch, and the amount of Inutilia that fell for her lies is disgusting.”

What are your thoughts on cheese?

“Cowyote cheese is overrated. Llamybara cheese is underrated. I'd argue more about it, but that last question pissed me off, so I don't feel like it.”

Other Xitlali: questionnaire one

#7- Jedi

What’s the worst insult you’ve ever been given?

“I do not wish to repeat it, but it is the slur targeting Inutilia such as myself.”

How would you react if someone catcalled you?

“Forgive me if I do not understand the term - it is not something we have in Alium - but if I am correct in its definition, I do not know how I would react. It has not happened to me, although I suppose I would not like it. I frankly do not understand why it happens in the first place.”

If you suddenly appeared in an unknown city, what would you do/look for first?

“I would first try to figure out where I am. A quick study of the architecture may tell me exactly where I am. However, I am sure I could ask someone. Unlike in Ceteri, here it is normal to randomly appear in an unknown city due to teleportation. So no one would question why I am asking. I believe I would like to look around and observe, but if I tire, I would locate a library. I do love spending time there.”

Other Jedi: OC in three, questionnaire one, Picrew, smash or pass (acearo version)

#8- Lexi

What is your favorite dessert?

“Oh, this is so hard! I dunno, cake? That might be too generic, but I love cake! All kinds of cake! I'm not picky at all about that. Maybe it's my love of parties and I just associate cake with that. But come on, why do we only have to have cake at parties!”

Would you rather take a vacation in a hot climate or a cold climate?

“Ugh, both sound awful depending on how hot and how cold. I guess I'm more used to a warm, humid climate. So let's go with that.”

Do you exercise? What does your regime look like?

“Well, I do training like everyone else in the Aequales. I do ride my bike, does that count? I like going on my bike through the neighborhood. It's nice being outside and I get to see a lot of my classmates!”

Other Lexi: OC in three, OC in fifteen, interview, Picrew, two truths and a lie, questionnaire one, bag, origin, bingo

Woo! Let's tag @sarahlizziewrites @reininginthefirewriting @cherrybombfangirlwrites @mysticstarlightduck @chauceryfairytales

+ ANYONE ELSE

Your questions: 1) What is your stance on lying? 2) Do you enjoy people watching? 3) What is the best decision you ever made?

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

[hushroomloser]

Chris Evans short story part 5

Pairing: ReaderxChrisEvans 

Request: Meeeee 

Prompt: “I’m sorry I thought you were somebody else”

Warning(s): I’m a first-time writer

Word count: 1457

A/N: Hey online strangers, I wrote the first part a while back and have the rest of the story in my drive but have never posted it. This story I wrote way back in 2019 :'(. I will be posting at random times if you stay and read it thank you so much. Enjoy xoxox - I have no idea how many parts this story and technically I haven’t an ending yet. 

I honestly to god have no more inspiration so this story will just be here for another 3 more years 

Bye 

… I am back lol. I have no idea who even is enjoying this but yeah. I wrote this during finals so please excuse everything from it. From the grammar to the plot lol. I shall maybe edit it or something. Honestly didn’t this story needed more parts or anything and plus I am trying my hardest to make into a your name type without writing yourr name cause I never found it cute and plus whenever I read a yn i read out the yn has like yoon for some reason. So yeah 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tension seemed to vibrate in the small cab, unlike the music slowly playing in the background their beating hearts seemed to rage louder. The sound of the bustling town waking up, the streets retreating for the night as the walk of shamers running back to their own homes.

All the stolen glances and accidental touches that emerged from that cap ride burned them brighter than the crack of dawn arising in the back. At each brush, unbearable to one another they shifted in their seats. She couldn’t breathe she thought. Concentrate, concentrate, she repeated.

Her smell intoxicated him, his desire to touch her was especially unbearable and the butterflies in his stomach did not help. At each glance, it seemed more and more like a free fall into her beautiful eyes, what was happening to him? This pull she had on him, he could not put it into words. How could he? He was slowly and idiotically falling in love with a stranger. How could one explain this?

As they arrived at the ER parking lot, the taxi driver glanced at them through the mirror and smiled to himself, “That will be 20 $ miss.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“She’s going to be late.”

“Why? I NEED my coffee.”

“Well, calm down princess. She called me saying she was bringing in someone she hit or something.” The brunette in her blue scrubs sat down at her desk. She had quickly finished her morning rounds for this casualty that her friend had picked up. She really didn’t understand her rambling earlier, but she had prepared a corner room.

“Do not worry I will bring you your coffee first thing.”

“Please.” He whined, “Do not make me drink this.” Gesturing to his surroundings.” place sewer water that passes for coffee.” She giggled.

“Yes, sir” Kissing him before leaving for his own rounds.

Lizzy had finished her residency two years prior, while her beautiful, caffeine addict finance had just entered his. As a non-traditional medical school graduate, he was older than most of his peers, but that never stopped him. And she loved him for that.

She was the friendly, bubbly, sunshine of a resident and he was the nerd, shy and quiet second-year med student. Everyone thought it could never work, how could it? Opposite attract only in films, however, their love flourished, continued, and survived.

She started to replay the conversation she had with her best friend. She hit someone, she thought. At this hour she would already be in her office answering her emails. She did say she was coming by cab.

“By cab, by cab … by cab.” She couldn’t connect any dots, her friend bringing in someone by cab that she hit at the coffee shop. She quickly shook her head and laughed it off. It couldn’t be that bad, could it? If it was, she would have called 911.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Nancy, her favourite nurse, telling her about this admission at the front desk.

She smiled at her, thinking today really is filled with mysteries. Why would Nancy come all this way and not page her? First off, she did not deal with admitting any patients.

Nancy’s little giggles and smile while walking to the front desk should have been a telling sign. She should have known. She should have known that her best friend was not only clumsy but as unlucky as it comes or in this case lucky.

Seeing a little crowd gathering around someone, she wondered if it was a code blue. “I didn’t hear any code blues”, questioning the nurse to her left.

“Ahhh, that’s the thing I forgot to tell you on the phone.��� She looked at her best friend in the corner with the coffees and pastries in hand looking flustered if that was even possible.

Taking some of the drinks and pastries off her hands, “You should probably take care of him soon before the whole hospital figure outs who he is."

Lizzy was about to question her friend but before she could the crowd around this mysterious person slowly dispersed allowing her to finally see him. Words could not form; she was shocked, flabbergasted, and astonished at the person in front of her. All the thoughts ran through her head. Her friend is an angel, a clumsy angel. Life brings you lemons, in this case Chris Evans lemons and somehow she had to make lemonade. But also, she had to keep her composure, she was a professional. She dealt with things far beyond one’s imagination, she was not going to let her favourite celebrity change that.

“Hii” giggling her composure long gone. Her friend looked at her, her eyes said everything. Get your shit together, I assaulted a man that needs help. Lizzy mouthed back I am sorry but that’s Chris Fudging Evans. The glare that her friend gave her could pierce any shield. Sighing. Lizzy tried her best to be professional. She straightened herself up and gestured to Chris to the room.

“Follow me please, we will go somewhere where there won’t be much commotion.”

“And you are coming with me to explain what happened.” Her friend was about to protest but Lizzy gave her a look that said she could not run away. She was going to try though.

“I will be there in a sec; I’ll just go give Oliver his coffee.” She looked down at her shoes scared that she was going to get caught in her attempt to escape. “He must really be needing his coffee right about now.” She continued, taking the drinks, and running away before she could get an answer.

“Well, Ms. Evans, it seems like it’s just you and me. You will have to explain what happened to end up here.” Lizzy was over the moon at what she just said, not in a million years did she ever think she would be saying these words.

“It is a funny story”, Chris said not thinking this day would end up like this when he only wanted to go for a quick run before his shoot. Which reminds him to text his assistant that he would be late today.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

His phone kept vibrating during the examination, he had texted his assistant that he had to quickly go to the hospital. Without adding much information as to why, she must be worried.

“You can answer your phone if you would like”, Lizzy had almost finished her checkup. Her friend hadn’t hit him that hard. And he didn’t have any scratches or neurological problems. He was good to go.

“We are almost done.” She sat down typing on her computer, while he put his shirt back on. She had to take a few moments to regain herself. God that man was beautiful. So is her finance but damn beauty is beauty, right? She shook her head.

“Do you have any questions for me?”

“You are good to go but if you want to ask questions, I am all ears.” She doubted he would, she was honestly trying to stall as much as she could for her friend to come and they could have the room.

Earlier, she witnessed something very intriguing, and she wanted to confirm it before he left.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oli, I come bringing gifts.” She entered his office. He had been spinning around his chair for the past 5 minutes now.

“Here, you need it don’t you.”

“My angel.” In all of his joy he sat up and grabbed the coffee and the pastries from her hands. Finally, he thought.

The sweet, sweet taste of coffee. He was happy.

She stood there looking at her friend enjoying his treats, wishing that he wouldn’t notice her still standing there.

Time seemed to pass slowly, she kept looking at her watch every few seconds, counting in her head how long it would take Izzy to finish up. She was honestly concerned about nothing. Why couldn’t she just go to her office?

“Heyy,, uhmm Lizzy just texted me.”

“It’s an emergency. You need to go see her.” He lied; Lizzy had actually texted him to make up an excuse so you could go back to the ER as fast as you could.

Squinting her eyes, she wondered what a medical physicist could possibly help out in the ER. Knowing very well that if any of the X-rays broke her supervisor would be the first to be called. Defeated, she decided to go hoping by the time she reached Lizzy he would be gone.

She just left. Care to explain? He quickly texted before replying to a few emails.

Thank you, and yes I will. Lunch?

Yes! Have a good day love. He put his phone down and went back to work. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote this instead of studying for my finals lol, I am the queen of procrastinating 😭😭😭😭

Anyways, hope you enjoy.

constructive criticism is very much appreciated, thank you. 

xoxox

[writteninthesewalls28]

Family

A story about a girl wanting to find out the truth

A/n: Chapter eleven already… @niallermybabe this is the new one btw!

Warnings: curse words, mentions of death

Milly’s POV:

"Did Louis call yet?" Calum asked me, standing in our kitchen, preparing the pancakes. I shook my head.

My brother had been released out of the hospital, the next day after our rather unexpected and turbulent arrival. We left two days later and now have been back in Adelaide for about two weeks. And- well. Our apology had been very emotional for both sides.

(Flashback, the day after Milly and Calum arrived in London)

"Louis, darling. I'm just gonna grab a coffee, gonna be back in a few minutes." Harry said, shooting a glance at Calum who also stood up from his chair in the hospital and said: "Yeah, I'm gonna join. Do you want something too?" Looking at me, but I only shook my head.

I still had a pounding headache from my panic attack yesterday night. Everything would help, but certainly no caffeine. Speaking from experience.

As soon as the two men left the room, I was left in silence with my big brother. There was so much to talk about, but no one was brave enough to take the first step and start talking. After the longest 2 minutes of my whole life, I finally figured, he wouldn’t say anything.

"Lou, look. I’m sorry, so sorry.“ I took a deep breath, didn’t really thought it would be so hard to say sorry to a person you grew up with. Me and Louis normally always had a really good relationship, I never would have guessed one single thing could turn it upside down. "I know you deserved better, I should’ve checked my phone and give you and Calum more information." Half way through my 'speech' I started tearing up. I truly was sorry and just wanted to fix this. I could no longer live with this broken relationship, I needed my big bro again. But I wasn’t brave enough to say that to him.

"I also owe you an apology." He finally said. I sighed in relieve.

I slowly walked towards his hospital bed and kneeled down to the floor to look at him.

Tears were shining in his eyes too.

"I shouldn’t have gotten so angry and said all these mean things to you. I just-" His voice cracked and he let out a shaky breath. "I care about you. I want to protect you. For me, you are still the little girl, building sand castles and asking me to help." I didn’t notice the tears on my cheeks, till Louis slowly wiped them away. He chuckled and continued talking. "I sometimes forget you are all grown up. And how grown up you are. I never thought, you'd turn into such a beautiful, strong and amazing woman, Milly."

This, this is my brother. How I always will remember him.

"Thank you Louis. Thank you for giving me the chance to fix this. Just remember that I am very sorry for what happened. Next time, I'll be more careful. I won’t make you worry so much again. Promise." I stood up and hugged him. Louis gave the best hugs. I saw so many posts from fans about his hugs, but to really get them, you have to experience yourself.

His hugs always make you feel so comfortable and calm. That’s what I miss the most when I'm back in Australia and not with him.

"Gonna miss you." He said while hugging me.

"Yeah, me too. Australia is too far away from home."

My brother and I agreed on calling each other once a week to stay in contact and don’t let anything come between us again. However, he mostly forgot about these calls and wasn’t home on Wednesdays. It was just a quite annoying new bad habit of my silly big bro. But honestly, I didn’t even care in the slightest. As long as us two have a fixed relationship again, I am happier than ever.

Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my left shoulder. Calum. He put down the big plate with 3 steaming pancakes down right in front of me on the table. I realized, I've been pressing my chin onto the edge my cup filled with tea for the past few minutes and now my front hair got wet from the hot steam exiting the Harry-Potter themed mug. I quickly put it down and gave Calum a little smile. I knew that both him and Niall knew how exhausting these past few days have been for me. Mentally and physically I felt just empty. Like the energy to search for my parents never even existed. I desperately wanted to continue, but right now it just didn’t seem like I actually could.

"Mills, have you thought about what you want to do for your birthday this year?" Calum asked after sitting down on the chair next to me, slowly taking a sip out of his coffee cup (we had enough arguments about the issue that coffee is just disgusting but he wouldn’t believe me, so I decided to ignore it).

"Oh… I totally forgot about that one…" My 26th birthday, on 20th of October, was only about one week away, but with all the stress over the last days I completely forgot (or ignored, who knows..) about it. What would I want to do on my birthday though?

When I was a child, my mom always gave us the opportunity to decide on an activity we could do with the whole family. I very clearly remember my 10th birthday where we went horse back riding. The little brown horse that I sat on did not want to go forward, no matter what I would do. And I, I just started crying. Out of nowhere, the horse ran away and I fell off and broke my arm. The only birthday I ever spent in the hospital.

Mom didn’t let us siblings pick any other physical sport activities for the next 3 years, much to the disappointment of Louis, a very talented football player at the time, who loved making fun of Lottie when she didn’t make a goal again.

The first few birthdays after moms passing, the siblings spent together, mostly crying in each other’s arms. Then, everyone slowly started living their own life. Louis was busy with writing songs and being a Judge at the X-Factor. I moved to Adelaide to be close to Calum and to live with him.

I would never admit it, but me and Louis held the Tomlinson-sibling-team together. After the death, Lottie, the actual older sister, simply couldn’t. So I took her part. And when it was us two, Louis and me, leaving forever, we all knew the relationship between us 7 siblings would never be the same again. Too much happened, there suddenly were too many kilometers between us.

Hence, how would I possibly want to spent this next birthday?

"Milly, are you still on earth, or did you get lost in space again?" Calum asked with a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah, yeah. I’m still here, just did a quick trip to the past again." Calum helped me a lot during the first few months after mom’s death and had to deal with a very depressive girlfriend, who either didn’t want to even get out of bed in the morning or lost herself in her work, so she could ignore the pain. I was so grateful for him, and that he never even thought about leaving me. So he obviously knew that I would sometimes get lost in the past, but he also knew how to get me on the right track again.

"I got a little idea for your birthday." He quietly said.

"Ohhh, please tell me!" I said, rather relieved, maybe it could still be a good day after all.

"Since Niall is staying a little longer, how about we throw a little garden party with Niall and Luke, Mikey and Ash? Some other people if you want to—"

I interrupted him with a sudden hug. "Yes! You are the best." I whispered in his ear. A garden party with the people closest to me made me feel comfortable and safe. That could actually work and turn this day into something nice.

But first, I deep down knew I had to go and do something different before this little party.

Calum’s POV:

You guessed it. She left him again. Well- not left left him, but she made her way to the other part of Adelaide, to the neighborhood where her parents lived before they moved away. At least that’s what she believes. Calum, however, knew the truth. The house is empty because her father died and her mom, pregnant with Milly, moved away.

When Milly announced her plans for this day last night while watching the second Kissing Booth movie (yes, they fell in love with the trilogy), he turned quite anxious. What if she finds out and cannot live with the truth, what if she falls into the deep hole again, the same hole when her mom died? He wasn’t sure if he would be able to get her out of it once again, after all that they went through together. Both of them weren’t the strongest anymore. But, right now, he couldn’t change anything anyways, so he grabbed his guitar and waited for his bandmates who announced to visit him today so they could decide on the final songs for the new album.

Right in that moment the doorbell rang.

That has to be Luke, he’s the only one who’s always too early. Quite an annoying habit if you ask Calum.

"Hey mate!" A smiling Luke said when Calum made his way to the front door and opened it. "Good to see you!"

The exchanged a quick hug and then decided to already go to the music room and wait for the other two men.

"So…is Milly here today?" Luke whispered. At first Calum reacted rather irritated. Why would he ask that? But he quickly realized, what it was for.

"No she actually had to leave today, it was very urgent." After this little- situation, where he told the three boys about Milly’s plans, he never mentioned it again. And to be honest, he didn’t really want to talk about it with them in the first place. It was something, Milly should decide on whether the band should know about it. So, since then, he always made up excuses why Milly wasn’t there.

Turns out they need lots of groceries and Milly even has to do something for work when she’s actually on vacation… he felt bad to lie to his bandmates like that, but this was the easiest way.

"Well, about her birthday present…" Luke said, but couldn’t finish the sentence because the two got interrupted by the doorbell.

Maybe they could continue this talk after the others left again. He really hoped so. Milly’s birthday present was something he had planned for almost 3 months now, if anything goes wrong, he'd be very mad and disappointed about it.

Calum and Luke greeted the two other men at the door together and quickly got back into his music room.

When he and Milly changed rooms a year ago, Calum really put all his effort into this room and tried giving it a personal touch. Milly’s old office was one of the biggest rooms on the second floor in the house, so he knew right at the beginning, he wanted to include a little sofa so he and the guys could sit down together and have a chat. He painted the walls in his favorite color, olive green, which really gave the room a cosy aesthetic. Of course there was lots of technical stuff in the room, taking up lots of space: computers, recording equipment, microphones.

But the most important part, the heart of the room, were the instruments. Calum had 3 bass guitars, 2 normal guitars and a small drums kit for Ashton in the room. Whenever Calum didn’t want to talk to anyone and just needed some time to think, he just sat down here, in this room, and hummed a melody while playing a quiet song on the guitar, it relaxed him in an admittedly strange way.

The two awards they got for Youngblood and Sounds good, feels good hanging on the wall, always reminded him, HOW lucky he got. To find these amazing three people, to tour with One Direction, to get this incredible fans, but most importantly to meet Milly, most likely the love of his life, the person he’s gonna grow old with.

"Okay, so. Let’s start easy, which songs should definitely be a single, which songs should have a video?" Ashton asked. Their manager informed them, all the songs were already recorded, they just needed to know which songs will be the final album and they need to find the right strategy to release the music.

"I think Old Me is the right choice for a music video." Micheal said into the silent room.

Calum nodded. "Yeah, Old Me kind of deserves it, doesn’t it?" He said. The song represents our story as a band and what we’ve been through. It’s very special to all of us.

„Yeah, you’re right.“ ,Micheal mentioned, "But I don’t think it'd be a good idea making it a single, it’s too- slow for that."

The day went on like this. Talking, deciding, arguing, mocking Luke. Till all three of them (finally) left and he didn’t get a chance to talk about Milly’s birthday present with Luke.

Great.

Milly’s POV:

I parked my car in the same spot that, even though I now visited it the third time, still feels so strange to me. The fact that I already got so far in the search and will probably find out even more today, made me happy on one side, but the other side of me just was scared of what I would possibly find out today. What if its too much for me to handle?

I made my way to a door, the same door I had stood in front of when Calum called me and told me Louis was in the hospital. It seemed so far away, even though it was just three weeks ago.

My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest when I reached out to the doorbell and rang it.

Then I waited.

And waited.

And then I heard steps in the house, walking towards the door.

When the door opened, I couldn’t see the person opening it, but heard a soft woman voice.

"Hello dear, can I help you?" She asked and opened the door further so I could finally see her. She was older, probably in her 70s or 80s, had short, grey hair and wore a thick pullover with white and dark blue stripes.

The warm smile on her face made me feel more relaxed.

"Well, I don’t know if you can help me, but… well.", I took a deep breath. What can possibly go wrong with being nice and asking?, "Do you know something about the last owners of this house?" I asked, hoping for a 'yes'.

The warm smile on the woman’s face slowly faded and turned into a confused and curious look. Oh no. Of course she didn’t knew them, could’ve been too easy.

"Well, why are you asking?" Wait, maybe she still met them.

"Long story…" I said, waiting for her to say whether she has enough time to listen to what I had to say.

"I’m just an old grandma, I have time." She responded, asking me to come inside.

———————————————

The couple, whose names were Lily and Evan Hudson, lived in a small and tiny house with vintage and sometimes old furniture. You could feel that very sweet people had lived her for many many years. The history in this house was undeniable.

Lily’s husband was as lovely as herself, they were literally made for each other.

All three of us sat down in the kitchen, Lily even gave me a cup of tea.

When I told them about my story, where I grew up, the first time I came to Australia, when I moved in with Calum and the things I already found out about my parents, I saw tiny tears shining in Lily’s eyes.

Surprisingly, it felt rather easy to tell complete strangers about me and my history. I wasn’t nervous at all and did not have to cry when explaining the sudden death of my mom. Maybe that are the effects of being a lawyer, you get better at talking about particular topics and issues.

When I finished, I got compassionate looks from both of them.

Lily was the first to break the silence. "Well, this is a very fascinating story, I must say." She looked at her husband, as if she wanted to convince him to say something to me.

"Umm… yeah. And now you came here to ask us for information?" He instead said, much to the disappointment of his wife. I nodded, they weren’t angry at me, were they? Let’s just hope not…

"And of course we'd love to help you, right Evan?" Lily gave her husband a threatening look. These two were really funny, the way they were messing with each other made me chuckle slightly. In my mind, I imagined Calum and me acting like this when we’re old and grey.

I have to admit, I think about our future together quite often. There was no doubt, I wanted to grow old with him. I wanted to have a beautiful wedding with all my friends and family. I often dreamed about an amazing proposal, with lots of rose petals and him kneeling down on one knee.

But this would most likely not happen, Calum was a romantic guy, but he was extremely shy and would probably never have enough courage to propose. I knew that.

But a girl can dream, right?

"It would mean so much to me if you could tell me anything about them." I said to the couple.

"Well, so what I can tell you, is that your parents were the most nice people you can ever imagine. Just like you!" Evan responded, smiling at me. And that caused my poor heart to make a little jump. They had been nice!

"They moved here because it was the only house they could afford at the time. Holly loved talking to others and had often friends over.", Lily said, smiling and giggling when she thought about it.," She was like a social butterfly! But your dad. Oh well, he didn’t feel comfortable. Everyone could tell." Lily laughed and Evan continued talking, still having a wide smile on his face. You could definitely see, these people really liked my parents.

"When they found out Holly was pregnant, they threw a little party in their garden behind the house. We were so happy for them, they’d be the perfect parents." All these little stories made me so happy and helped me feel more connected to them. It truly helped talking to this couple. With my search and with healing my inner child.

"But- if everyone was really happy for them… why did they gave me away?" I asked, a question that had been in my mind for the last few minutes, since they started talking about Holly's pregnancy.

Lily let out a sigh and compassionately touched my arm.

"They moved away before Holly gave birth to you, we did not knew they gave you away…and to be honest, we are truly surprised that the really did" She said, not knowing she just shattered my heart to pieces.

I was so sure, I'd find out everything today. But, of course it couldn’t be that easy.

"We did knew that they left a few pictures behind though. Arthur had a troubled past and wanted to close up with that chapter by leaving these pictures behind, he told me only one day before they moved." Evan added, giving me a little bit of hope that I could still find them. Somehow. Somewhere.

"But you have no idea to which place they moved, right?" I asked, already expecting a 'no', which I received in form from a head shake.

"I- I got one final question." Lily and Evan gave me an encouraging nod, giving me some extra strength. "Were they really loving me?" Somehow, my voice started breaking and tears formed in my eyes. This was a little too much for me after all.

Lily immediately stood up from her chair and embraced me and I let out a quiet sob. My heart felt like it crushed together by these many emotions that I felt at the same time. Confusion, Anger, Sadness and Hope.

When she let go, she looked at me closely and responded: "They did, don’t you worry." And then added something that gave me even more incentive to finally meet them. "You have your father’s eyes. It’s crazy, look Evan!"

When her husband took a closer look at me, he said the same thing. " it’s true, I always thought his eyes looked like an actual piece of chocolate, yours remind me of that too."

I slightly chuckled and thanked them for helping me so much. After all, I didn’t want to stay as long. They probably had so much other stuff to do.

Without me noticing, Evan stood up and when he came back he suddenly handed me a little piece of paper with a telephone number written on it.

"I can’t promise you anything, but Ms. Jackson had been a very close friend of Holly's. Maybe she knows where they are now and how you can meet them." He said.

What. The. Hell.

I could maybe meet them?! Oh my god.

Tears started forming in my eyes again and I quickly hugged Evan, much to his surprise actually. But I didn’t care about that.

I got a number from a friend. From an actual friend of theirs.

Even when I parked my car in front of my house, I still couldn’t believe it, that I was so close to my goal. My goal that I had for years and years.

Much to my surprise, I noticed Niall's car that he loaned at the airport when he cane to Australia. Him and Calum were most likely listening to their songs together and playing around like two middle school boys. Idiots.

But at least I could tell them about my truly exciting news together!

I opened the door in Milly-style-speed and quickly started searching for the two men and finally found them in Calum music room on the second floor.

I was right.

"Mills!" Niall exclaimed when I suddenly appeared in the door frame.

Calum got up from his little chair and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "How was it?" Strange, was it just me, or did he look quite scared? I'm probably just overthinking again, as always.

"Guess what, I got a telephone number of an old friend from my mom! She maybe still knows them!" I said, starting to jump and squealed at the end. It just was such exciting news!

Both of them joined in on my little happy dance and we spent the rest of the night, listening to Niall’s music together and eating pizza to celebrate my amazing day.

[cor-ardens-archive]

Hi. I read your post about sleep getting better for you. I'm very happy for you btw. I've always struggled with sleeping too. I was able to temporarily move out of family home environment last year that held a lot of trauma for me, and noticed my sleeping *eventually* got a bit better, but then I had to move back home. I experience a lot of nightmares, and feeling 'afraid' to sleep because of this, but also stay up partially because I want to limit contact with my mother. I know this question is a lot. I do see a psych, but she hasn't been very helpful when it comes to the nightmares (or much in general really) lol. So I'm aware finding a better psych could be a good thing, but I've also had a lot of negative experiences, and as I'm in a sensitive place right now I don't know if I feel comfortable opening up to someone else at this time. In summary, do you have any tips at all on healing? (while your in an environment that caused a lot of trauma) or healing sleep? I know this is probably an annoying question (sorry for writing so much) I just wondered if there's anything outside of therapy you would recommend? Don't have to answer by the way, just thought I'd ask. Thanks, and I'm very happy things have improved for you a bit. <3

You don't have to be sorry about this message, I actually appreciate it a lot! I'm so sorry that you struggle with sleep too, it's something that has a huge impact on one's well being.

I'm not sure how helpful I can be, but I can share what I've done that has helped me. Keep in mind that this was a long journey (well, it's still ongoing), and it took a long time to start seeing meaningful results. It was also extremely difficult, and there were many times when I would fall back on habits that did not help me. But I kept trying, and now I can definitely see how much I've improved. :)

The regular advices are good and can help. By this I mean the usual "sleeping hygiene" tips: trying to maintain a consistent sleeping routine and wake up time, dimming the lights some time before bed, staying away from computers and phones an hour before bed, avoiding caffeine at night, etc. On their own, they won't heal your wounds, but they do help your body to relax.

I did everything in my power to make my room feel safe to me. This meant locking my door, praying before bed, doing my little rituals, etc. You can't make yourself suddenly feel safe in an unsafe environment, but if you have your own bedroom then you can try to slowly turn it into a place that feels yours. I won't pretend this is easy or even always possible, but it's something that worked for me, and it's probably my number one advice if it's at all possible for you. Do whatever makes you feel safe, even if you find it a little embarrassing (like sleeping with a beloved stuffed animal, for example).

Exercise during the day, if you can! I can't always exercise because of fatigue, but when I do it's very helpful, and keeps me from being too alert at night. I basically tire myself out so I won't wake up every 20 minutes at night.

Don't punish yourself when you can't sleep. If you're too anxious and/or afraid, you can get up, get a glass of water, read a book... do something relaxing that you enjoy, don't force yourself to stay in bed tossing and turning. Knowing I could decide to not sleep was helpful. I'm in control of my decisions, and if I'm struggling then I can get up and do something else. No one is going to force me to stay, least of all myself. I'll sleep when I feel ready, and if I have to wait for sunrise then so be it. Having this assurance helps me feel safer to sleep at night, because it's not an obligation, it's a personal choice.

I hesitate to recommend this because it's personal, and probably doesn't work for everyone, but discussing things openly with myself really helped. Like writing down or saying aloud why I feel unsafe, and what that means to me. Recognizing and accepting the problems I could face at night, such as nightmares, insomnia, sleep paralysis -- just listing down everything that could go wrong, and kind of preparing for them. I think this could make some people more anxious, but it worked for me. I can't exactly recommend it to you without knowing how it'll affect you, but it's something I did. I would think about all the things I feared would happen and which could happen, and I wrote down what they would feel like, and what the consequences would be -- always knowing that in the end I would wake up, the sun would rise, it would be another day no matter what, and simply making myself feel prepared for them. Knowing your fears and preparing yourself against them can sometimes help. For some people, I think it can have the opposite effect.

Also, I would tell myself what I was afraid of but that I rationally knew couldn't happen. I recognized why I was afraid of them but reminded myself those fears didn't reflect my current reality. I could prepare for them in different ways, by making myself ready to face the things I mentioned in point 5.

I think that's it... I'm sorry I can't help you more. This is what worked for me, but it worked slowly! And it's not like I don't have any problems sleeping now, but I do feel infinitely better. And of course I do recommend finding someone you can trust to help you through this process. Unfortunately, my psychiatrist didn't really help me either. However, I did find some people along the way. Also, Nancy from A Nightmare on Elm Street.

[aspecriddler]

My Personal Self Care Guide

this isn't what I normally post about, but I'm feeling motivated and inspired so I thought I would share my self care tips, tricks, and products

note: this is not a comprehensive, one size fits all thing. some of these may work for you and others may not. none of this is meant in bad faith

feel free to add to this btw

Belief System

the first and foremost thing is to find compassion for yourself and your body. you deserve to care for yourself, full stop, no exceptions, no excuses. you deserve it

second, don't shame others for how they take care of themselves. it will probably look different from you and that is okay and normal. you're not better than someone else because you're different, you're just humans

third, do not try too hard. do not give in to the myth of consumerism. you don't need a million different products to be beautiful and feel good about yourself. you do not need to make yourself into something palatable and marketable, and in fact doing so is harmful and very much not self care

These are the three tenets of self care. Use them liberally and wisely

Tips and Tricks

hydration is key. you need hydration so much and you probably don't even realize it. I personally get most of my hydration from (unsweetened) tea both hot and iced. the tap water isn't super clean where I live so boiling the water is more hydrating and it removes anything bad that might fuck with me. I suggest doing the same even if you're not in the same situation. also it gives a much more natural caffeine boost than coffee does

acne is a natural part of being human. prevention methods include washing your face at least once a day, changing your bedding frequently, and avoiding touching your face. when breakouts happen don't mess with it or pop it, that can lead to infection and scarring. instead try pimple patches or bandaids with acne medication on them

choose a signature scent and coordinate your products with it. I personally made mine roses with an undertone of eucalyptus and sandalwood, but it doesn't need to be that complex. doing this makes the scent much more noticeable which makes you more memorable

if you don't have textured hair (I am white so I don't have many tips for poc, very sorry), wash and condition it every other day (on average). also using heat protection spray on wet hair can help prevent frizz

Skincare and Products

the best rule of thumb I have is "the simpler the better"

you literally need a total of six products minimum and ten maximum and all of them you can find either at a local drugstore or supermarket

for hair care I just use suave brand. it's like three dollars and as far as I know doesn't have a lot of the harmful stuff more expensive hair products will have. again this does mostly apply to non black hair, deeply sorry but I'm just not qualified to speak on it

do not use exfoliating products on your face. scrubs, charcoal strips, etc. they are all going to cause you more breakouts so you'll buy more products. same goes for fancy lip balms. look for stuff that's meant for sensitive skin and is unscented

body wash is important but what kind you get doesn't really matter. I get rose scented cuz of my signature scent thing but in the end as long as it gets you clean it's cool

deodorant. in this case the natural kind probably won't cut it. just get something with a scent you like, but avoid brands like old spice because the heavy scents can cause chemical burns. I personally use dove men's brand in a solid stick, but it's truly up to preference. also shaving is in no way necessary for anyone but I've found shaving my pits makes me sweat and smell less

exfoliate in the shower if you feel like it. I personally use Dr. Teals epsom salt products because they're cheap, reliable, and they smell good (they have lavender and eucalyptus, I prefer the latter). make an epsom salt bath for relaxation and pain relief, use the salt scrub for exfoliating and pain relief, and/or use the body oils for moisture. a lot of these things are very texture so be sure to find what works best for you

moisturizing! you can never go wrong with plain Vaseline. it's safe to use pretty much everywhere and is super effective. it's my holy grail and a big tub is like five bucks. I also use it as facial moisturizer, though I go out of my way to get their rose lip care (they also have cocoa butter)

I already talked about heat spray for hair but that's another one of the optional products

Recap: the only things you really need are shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash, deodorant, and vaseline for moisture. Optional products include scents (perfume, cologne, body spray), heat spray for hair, exfoliating scrubs/epsom salts, and specialized lip care

Conclusions

do what works for you

don't buy in to capitalism and consumer culture

be kind to yourself and your body

create a signature scent

the simpler the better

support others in their self care journeys

That's all from me, have a lovely day 🌹

[adventuringblind]

Awwww im sorry :(

Life sucks most of the time (unfortunately) sometimes and a lot of ppl deal with it better than us.

If no one’s said it yet IM FUCKING PROUD OF YOU FOR NOT GIVING IN.

Regarding the angst fics: GIMME. I’ll be the LAST person complaining cause it actually makes me feel something other than indifference and numb.

And max??? Your Ghoul max especially??? I WILL EAT THAT SHIT UP. GIMME. (On your own time and writing speed ofc).

If it ain’t obvious I’ll read pretty much anything you write. I’m a sucker for your ao3, I’m rereading one fic or another daily atp.

Also cause I always see you and 🦡 talking about energy drinks (monster) I’ll add my little quirks about caffeine in general cause I keep being told I’m weird for it and need some kind of opinion from ppl who don’t know anything about me:

I have said for YEARS that I don’t want to try energy drinks because I have an addictive personality. I damn well knew that I’d be addicted to the caffeine “high” or sleep (depending on how my adhd took it).

Until February when my friend but redbull in a separate cup and had me try it. Summary is I liked it and immediately wanted to cry when she told me cause damnit I’ve been avoiding it!!!!

So now I have EXTREMELY strict rules about my redbull consumption (it’s the only source of caffeine other than Coca Cola I actually enjoy the taste of (no I don’t like coffee)). And refuse to try anything else because one is bad enough.

Sorry this is so long but your always asking for ppl to talk… so I just did (whoops)

- 🦒

Okay yes… I am aching for human interaction. The interaction I’ve had with friends recently is not the greatest but in my defense! I’m still religious and so are they and we all have different values. As in - tumblr is like my side hoe that nobody knows about. I’m also bisexual which isn’t the most values thing in Christianity and so I get some weird looks when I rant about pretty woman. I CANT HELP IT THO WHY ARE YOU ALL SO GOOD LOOKING IT’S NOT FAIRRRRR. Same goes for a lot of other shit. Drinking and sex and smoking and sex and - the list goes on for days. IDK man just Lemme liveeee. Also trying to explain to people why you won’t go back t church is a pain. Like - idk? You watched my dad abuse my mom for YEARS, didn’t say anything and gossiped instead about how we were the ones not following him as the head of the household, the proceeded to hail him a hero because he stayed with my mom after she dealt with a fucking predator? Not thanks! I’d prefer never to speak to y’all again!

(Sorry for the random trauma dump lol)

That all being said, the interaction I’ve had is limited to my fiancé and my beta reader who is overseas in the UK. My fiancé has friends and goes out with them and I sit watching movies with my parents while getting trashed. My sister is there too. I love her dearly. But she’s 17 and dual enrolled to graduate with her associates degree in a couple of months so she’s busy T_T

Basically - I’m alone with my thoughts majority of the time and it’s not a fun place to be.

I’m considering making this specific Ghouls Max fic into a mini series because there is so much shit here. Plus, background Landoscar and Charlos have me FERAL. The plot is actually a lot like my Ao3 fic in some ways but not? Like themes are similar ig. I fell in love though and might make a series of one shots that follow Max and Reader post the events of that fic 👀 (which I will have for you EVENTUALLY)

Redbull isn't my favorite unless it's sugar-free (don't ask why because I find it IRONIC). I feel you with the caffeine thing and finding it hard to pace. I don't have a crazy reaction to caffeine and usually get by with a monster in the morning. Coffee tastes gross unless it's one of those places that have their own coffee beans and stuff. Which - okay - I'm from Washington state, and we have SO MANY COFFE PLACES HERE. I have three that are a 20-minute walk from my house. Also, Starbucks sucks.

Saw your ask right after this by the way and laughed because I'm blind and the emojis looked similar, so I didn't even realize at first!

I'm glad to see me and 🏍 are spreading our propaganda 😂

[bandage-hearted-butterfly]

Hey! I saw you reblogged my post and was simply intrigued. Basically I'm on a mission to represent the non-human/alterhuman/otherkin/and so many others/ communities properly and holy shit seeing someone actually say they could relate to something I posted that they hadn't seen talked about WAS SUCH A BIG DEAL FOR ME! that's my only goal with this damn blog! (Sorry I'm functioning on caffeine right now) anyways, I'd love to hear anything else you think needs to be talked about more in our communities that isn't represented enough or is represented wrongly

Hello! I'm glad my resonance meant so much to you; I haven't seen anyone else convey the in-between space that I so often find myself in. It makes me wonder if the fictionkin label is the correct one for me as I haven't seen anyone else in the community discuss this feeling. As in my tags, instead of feeling one or the other, one soul in multiple lifetimes, I feel as though I have two souls in one body, my own and that of my kintype. It was more delineated in the beginning, but the shifts became harder to tease apart and now feel completely harmonious.

I suppose as far as representation is concerned, I believe you mention on your blog that you've heard that there isn't much discussion in way of psychological kin? I joined this community under that label because it helped me to make sense of my dissociative episodes in a way that felt grounded and comforting, later adopting the spiritual beliefs held by the otherkin community. I know this isn't a one size fits all experience, but seeing so many align while my own feels like an odd one out makes me wonder. It also makes me want to discuss my own experiences more, essentially as a way of reaching out to those who may feel similarly.

Seeing people discuss their experiences as fictionkin feels like an experience I am adjacent to; others discussing memories and especially reminiscing over friendships or relationships while I simply never felt that way, very interesting considering the powerful relationships my kintype has (had?). I wouldn't go as far as to say it feels isolating, but it feels almost as though my labeling of my experiences is incorrect due to the minutiae being so different from what appears to be the standard.

Of course, I only began to formally identify with this community maybe roughly a year or so ago, first jokingly but later realizing how genuine this truly is for me.

All in all, to answer the question, I suppose I would like to see more discussion of psychological kin, and, on a more difficult to pin down thought, I would love to see more discussion around unconventional experiences in the kin community. I know I feel something and I know it feels right to be where I am, but I can't quite nail down why it seems to be so different from those I see. I still miss a lot of the vocabulary as I haven't been around quite long enough, but the thoughts and questions linger.

Thank you for coming to me and saying hello and inquiring! I'm always glad to discuss experiences and I'm even more happy to see when those discussions are truly meaningful ✨️

[dahliasanddimples]

Decided to do Tumblr not realizing it’s completely different from what I even remember. I mean it was, what, seven, eight, maybe even ten years ago? I just wanna vent my frustrations, vent my sadness, just vent. Because how do you vent to friends who have heard it before. How do you vent to friends when they didn’t even know you guys were back together. How do you vent to friends you’ve essentially lied to. Day fucking one all over again. Day one again in a span of one month. Day one for the third maybe even fourth freakin time in a span of 30 days. How many more sad days can I take. How many more sadness can I put up with. Maybe I am the problem. Maybe I am the problem post initial problem. I mean maybe I was only the problem after the first problem arose. I don’t wanna do another day one. I’m so mentally exhausted from being sad it’s actually physically draining me. I just wanna sleep bc I don’t wanna be sad anymore. I just wanna sleep but I can’t bc I have work so I drink more caffeine just to stay up. But I’m still so sad that I’m sleepy that now I’m just nauseous from too much caffeine. When I think about it. When I think that it’s finally over I just feel it in my stomach. Like when you’re excited and you have butterflies. But instead it’s sadness. And when I think about it, the feeling in my stomach, it goes up and I feel it through my nose, like when you’re drowning a little bit, and it hurts between your nose and your brain and then it happens. Your eyes start watering and then all of a sudden you’re crying. Crying bc you feel that sadness in your stomach and when you think about that sadness you think about why you’re sad you just start crying. And it’s day one. For the fourth fucking time in 30 days. Day fucking one all over again. Like the first time wasn’t so bad I literally could not be left to my own thoughts. And it’s hard bc I’m waiting for a text, I’m waiting for a call. It’s hard because even though it ended and I’m reaching out and I know you won’t text me back or call me back or anything I’m still waiting. But I’m fucking trying. I blocked you. Then I unblocked you. But I realized it just gave me anxiety waiting for something that might never come through. So I blocked you again. And now I hope to keep you blocked. Please give me the strength to hold on to this discipline. it. fucking. hurts. I just wanna cry but I don’t even have the space to cry. I just wanna cry but I have so much to do. I just wanna talk. I just wanna stab you. I just wanna say sorry. I just wanna smash your car windows. I just.. don’t wanna think about you anymore. Cheers to day fucking one all over again

[undercityviktor]

If you're up for it, I need some soft fluff. Preferably late night in the lab, and just two frustrated and sleepy bois, needing to relax. Bonus points if you do Zaunite Jayce and Piltovian Viktor (but that's only if you're up for it) 💕

I’ve called this ‘Sweetmilk at 2am’, and like my other ones from today, I’ll post it on AO3 as well. I went for Zaunite Jayce and Piltovian Viktor in this one, because why not have some fun with it? I hope it’s fluffy enough for you, and thanks for the prompt!

AO3  | Tumblr writing masterlist

___

Viktor looked up and did a small double-take at the sight of his partner slumped over his desk. Jayce was one of those rarer Zaunites who had only grown bigger and tougher under adversity. Where many had been slowly poisoned into chronic sickness by the chemicals in the water and the fumes in the air, Jayce seemed to have simply cracked his knuckles and fought it all off with his fists. He’d shown up for his first day at the Academy with a black eye and a fat, split lip, and he’d taken every problem they’d had together head-on ever since.

Viktor approached things like a set of engraver’s tools, steady, cautious, and lethally sharp. Except, at nearly two in the morning, he didn't feel lethally sharp anymore. He felt slow and foggy, and the caffeine they had knocked back hours ago had fizzled to nothing in their bloodstream. Jayce could drink a ristretto right before bed and still sleep like the dead though.  

Sleep was a fickle mistress to Viktor on any day of the week, but that night, he thought she might be kind to him. He yawned expansively and pushed carefully back from the desk, reaching for his cane as he stood and stretched out the pins and needles from his tight muscles. The action made him realise that Jayce was going to get a terrible crick in his neck and back if he stayed hunched over his notes like that, so Viktor crossed to him and laid a hand gently on his shoulder. Whether it was a reflex honed on the streets of Zaun or simply an honest surprise, Jayce twitched awake immediately and grabbed Viktor’s wrist in his fingers.

In the blink of an eye he had applied the kind of pressure that would see Viktor in an armlock he could never hope to escape, only to let go and immediately turn in his seat to face him. “Fuck, Vik,” he said. “I’m so sorry. You scared the shit out of me. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No apologies needed, Jayce,” Viktor smiled, though he did rub his wrist carefully with his other hand for a moment. The size of Jayce’s hands was starting to spark all sorts of inappropriate thoughts. “I believe we have passed our academic and intellectual peak for the evening, however.”

Jayce yawned again and nodded. “You ok? You look wiped out.”

“I…” Viktor faltered. Truth was, he was wrecked after weeks of pushing towards their latest deadline and scraping by on three hours of sleep a night at most. “I could benefit from a hot shower and a few hours’ rest before we get going again,” he hedged.

“C’mon. If that place on Foundry Boulevard is still open, I’ll get you a sweetmilk on our way.”

Viktor’s stomach lurched oddly. Even as one half of Heimerdinger’s two favourite postgrads, Jayce couldn’t have had much left over from his Academy stipend, and yet he wanted to treat Viktor to sweetmilk at two in the morning. “If it’s open,” Viktor said, and watched Jayce’s whole face light up. How could anyone refuse eyes like those? “Let me get my coat.”

By the time Viktor had crossed the lab to the neat little coat rack beside the door, Jayce had already shoved his huge arms into his sleeves and was buttoning up his battered old jacket. He lifted Viktor’s black woollen coat off the hook and held it up for him, one arm at a time. Viktor’s lips twitched into a lopsided smile and he ducked his head. “Thank you, Jayce. You know…” he added and Jayce paused nervously halfway through hoisting Viktor’s coat up to sit on his shoulders, “I’m not one of those romance heroines you seem to enjoy reading about. You don’t have to keep doing things for me.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Jayce asked, exactly as he held the door open for Viktor to walk through first.

Viktor eyed Jayce’s hand on the door and raised an eyebrow, and Jayce groaned. “No,” Viktor smiled. His eyes prickled and his whole body hurt, but somehow Jayce’s warm, buoyant personality made everything just a little easier. “Did you make any progress today?”

“You mean before I faceplanted into my notes? No, not really. I’m thinking if we can bypass…” the rest of his thoughts disappeared into a huge yawn, and he licked his lips and looked at Viktor. “Tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll fix it tomorrow.”

“We will fix it tomorrow,” Viktor said.

His gait was slow, his hip and knee burning, toes of his right foot dragging on the flagstones, and when Jayce noticed, he nudged his elbow out just a fraction. Viktor’s pace stalled and he looked up into Jayce’s hazel eyes. Evidence of a fortnight of sleep deprivation and poor shaving was also writ clear on his face, but his smile was as warm and genuine as ever. Viktor wondered exactly what Jayce saw when he looked down from his great hulking height at Viktor. At two in the morning, he certainly couldn’t have looked much healthier.

With a shy answering smile of his own, Viktor tucked the fingers of his left hand into the crook of Jayce’s extended elbow and squeezed. He stayed there until Jayce handed him a takeaway cup of warm sweetmilk with a little straw sticking jauntily out of the lid.

“You’re not having anything?” Viktor asked.

“Nah. Might steel some of yours,” Jayce grinned. “Partner.”

___

Thanks for the prompt!

AO3  | Tumblr writing masterlist

[uni-seahorse-572]

sophiana week day 3: au

notes: coffee shop au! Fair warning, this is 1.8K and I wrote it all today, it's late, and I dove too far into Sophie's pov. Speaking of which, this is the wildest I've gone with Sophie's characterization yet, but I think they deserve it. Basically this feels like crack and if I was sane I wouldn't be posting it this late and this unedited. Mild cursing (like. one word literally), graphic depictions of caffeine, and references that give me genuine pain.

@sophianaweek2022

Later on, there was much Sophie would have liked to say about the moment they met their girlfriend. Like that they bantered wittily over the counter as Sophie blushed and then scrawled their number on the mystery woman’s coffee cup, like in one of their favorite fanfics. Or even just that the moment Biana had walked in, Sophie had thought, oh shit, she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen—and they would have, too, had they been in any normal state of mind. They would’ve settled for a typical transaction, the hint of a spark, and nothing more.

In reality it was the week before finals, and Sophie had pulled an all-nighter half on accident. In reality, they had drank several cups of coffee already without managing to gain any semblance of consciousness, and their coworker only reluctantly trusted them with the checkout counter in their current state because the coffee shop was severely understaffed and he needed to take his dog to the vet before she had another unfortunate accident.

The line was long. Well, of course it was, it was eight in the morning (a truly horrific hour, if you asked Sophie) but they were doing their best to make sense of the universe in manageable pieces. They’d flubbed two orders in the last ten minutes but had only been berated by a customer once this shift so far. That was a win, right?

There weren’t many spare moments, but Sophie made use of all the ones they got. They weren’t being paid enough to not study for finals on their phone, which rested carefully so it seemed like they were looking at the register screen instead of slacking off. Or they had been studying. Once the words had begun to swim in their brain, they’d switched to devouring Destiel oneshots on AO3.

Which, when put together, amounted to the fact that when Biana Vacker stepped up to the counter, radiant despite the early hour—hair pulled into an elegant twist, eyeliner sharp and lacy white crop top hugging her glowing sepia brown skin—Sophie blinked at her blearily and said, “How can I help you today?”.

(which—if they were in a certain kind of soulmates au—would have been exceptionally cruel of them, yet as it was, that was a shockingly coherent sentence given their sleep-deprived brain)

Biana ordered. Jasmine tea, no sugar, a hint of milk.

It took Sophie an exceptionally long moment to remember how to make tea. And what tea was. But once they did, it was a simple order, only complicated by the press of aggravated customers’ eyes on their back. They popped the lid on and handed it out.

Which, by all rights, should have been simple. Easy. By all rights, it should have been a forgettable transaction and nearly was.

But Sophie hadn’t put the lid on right. In their esteemed opinion, that was an easy mistake to make. The lids never wanted to fit. This one certainly didn’t.

Sophie’s hand slipped. The tea went all over Biana’s front, rich brown against that lacy, white top.

As it turned out, spilling a drink on a customer was an even better adrenaline rush than, well, actual coffee. Right when Sophie really, really doesn’t want to feel awake for this.

Several curses swelled beneath their tongue. A few even escaped. “I’m so sorry,” Sophie started, words fast becoming a ramble, “um, I can help you clean it off? If you want? And… oh, f—fudge, long line, I don’t think I can leave right now?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it,” Biana said. Her voice was tight, but plenty of customers would have bitten Sophie’s head off by now, so they were counting that as a win.

There had never been a simultaneously worse and better moment for their coworker Keefe to walk in. He took one look around the coffee shop and stifled a laugh rather poorly. “You go. I’ll handle this,” he says, chuckling. “I can’t take you anywhere, can I, Soph?”

Sophie grumbled something out about how they worked here before Keefe and turns back to Biana. “I’ll take you to the back,” they said. “Unless… please tell me that didn’t burn you? Wait, no, it was hot, you need a hospital—”

“It didn’t,” Biana said, voice warming slowly, taking on a bit of a chuckle. “I watched you make my drink. You, uh, stuck the teabag in without ever heating up the water.”

“I did what.” Sophie took out their key and opened the back room’s door, ushering Biana into the small space. They sighed, shoving their hair behind their ears, and handed Biana a towel. It was getting long again, nearly reaching their chin. They’d have to cut it soon. “I’m not gonna lie, I don’t know whether your shirt is salvageable. Nothing ever washes out of white.”

Biana pursed her lips together. “I have to get to class in, like, twenty minutes. I don’t think I can run home.”

Sophie pressed the heels of their hands against their eyes. “Again, I am so very sorry. I never should’ve come into work today. Uh, do you mind if I make myself a quick coffee? I’m not thinking straight.”

“Now that you’ve spilled cold tea down my front, we’re practically bosom buddies,” Biana said drily. “Go ahead. This is already unprofessional enough as it is.”

“You’re not wrong, but hey.” Sophie fumbled for the coffee grounds and throws several scoops of them into the machine, then turns it on. They set an excessively large cup beneath the dispenser, wait for it to fill roughly halfway, and then top it off with four shots of espresso and a Red Bull.

With sheer horror in her eyes, Biana stared at them. “I feel like I’m legally obligated to stop you from drinking that.”

“It’s okay.” Sophie waved their hand in the air, taking their first long drink. “Not so bad. Not my worst. It’s the only thing that keeps me moving anymore.”

“How are you even alive?” As Sophie’s world slowly crystallized, the haze of sleep lifting and instead leaving an uncontrollable jitter in its place, they really took in Biana for the first time. That was probably a mistake. She was beautiful in a way not many people were, reminding them of one of their favorite passages from The Secret Histories, all sharp edges and hard lines. She was terrible as she was lovely, yet right now softness lay in the set of her features. “Do you have anything I could maybe wear? Just for now?”

Sophie glanced at the lost and found, yet just as quickly ruled that out. There was never anything decent in there if there was much at all. There were extra uniform shirts, but they’d rather not aggravate their boss yet more (Lady Galvin legitimately had it out for them), so… that left their spare sweatshirt in their bag. Which was, thankfully, clean.

They yanked it out. “Does this work?”

As far as their sweatshirts went, it was one of their better ones. Not that old, not stained. The only downside was that it was a My Chemical Romance **sweatshirt, which revealed a whole lot more about them than they’d prefer to.

Biana took it, the black fabric bunching together in her hand. “Yeah, that’ll work, I think. You like My Chemical Romance?”

“Um, yeah,” Sophie said. “That would be why I have the sweatshirt.”

“Right.” Biana blushed, though it was more like only the very tips of her ears turning a very bright red. “Um. I’m probably just gonna change real quick, so could you turn around?”

“Yep. Definitely.” Sophie turned around, trying not to listen to the rustle of fabric behind them, trying to block out the sound of their inner lesbian shrieking and screaming. They chugged their coffee concoction. It was far too early for this.

Finally, Biana said, “Alright, all finished.”

Sophie turned back around, mustering something near a smile. They were far too gay for this. Also too tired.

While the sweatshirt was big enough to swallow them, it fit Biana perfectly, snug around her arms and the curve of her stomach. On her, it seemed incongruous, until she pulled out her hairtie and let her curls tumble down to brush around her shoulders.

“You—you look great.” Sophie let out a quiet, awkward laugh, and opened the door. “Again, I just want to apologize for, you know, spilling tea all over you. You’ve been way more understanding than you had to be.”

“Nah.” Biana shrugged, stepping back out into the shop. “I was kinda harsh at first. And everyone has bad days, I’m not about to make yours worse. It’s what anyone would do.”

“Last shift,” Sophie said, “I had a customer try and get me fired because I tried to tell her that if she wanted a vegan drink she should get a milk other than cow’s milk. She kept insisting cow’s milk was in fact vegan.”

“What most people would do,” Biana amended with a laugh. “Please tell me she got what she deserved.”

“If only. But sadly, my boss hates me, so she gave the customer a coupon and quite possibly an award certificate.” Sophie chuckled at their own joke, feeling oddly self-conscious. Well, maybe not oddly.

Biana’s smile spread slow and slight across her face, softening the lines of her cheekbones and the angles of her brows, before she glanced down at her watch and that happiness fell a shade. “Oh, shoot. I gotta run.” She paused. “Do you have your phone on you?”

“Here.” Sophie handed her their cell, pressing their thumb against the home button to unlock it. “Please don’t install malware or anything. My cousin just finished scrubbing it clean of the last virus. Wait, no, I’d actually rather you do that than look at my search history. So definitely don’t do either.”

“You’re a very suspicious person, Sophie Foster,” Biana said. She passed back their phone, now with a new contact labeled tea attack victim. “There. That way you can reach me, and, um, I can return your sweatshirt sometime…?” She said it like a question, and maybe it was, with all the layers of meaning it held.

“Yeah, no, that sounds good. Great.” Sophie bounced on their toes, their whole body rocking with the motion. They resisted the urge to go for their eyelashes. “I mean, I’d love that.”

“Then it’s a date.” Biana turned to go with a little wave and a wink, a giddy bounce in her step that hadn’t been there before. The door shut behind her with its usual cheery chime.

Sophie stared at the door blankly. Their brain felt like it had just been put through a meat grinder. “What,” they said slowly, “just happened.”

Running on no sleep and stress, as it turned out, occasionally worked in their favor.

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

A Failed Betrothal (Part 3)

There were a lack of stuff to read so I posted this instead.

[Masterlist]

(Part 1)(Part 2)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PART 3

The next day was weird to say the least for everyone but for Marinette, it was another can of worms that she wished she didn’t open. For one thing, Chat Noir’s feelings obsession for Ladybug switched from one black-haired girl to another which unfortunately was Ladybug’s civilian form. Which meant Marinette had to deal with Adrien’s Chat-Noir-level flirting and bad pick-up lines.

Perfect, just perfect.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone thought that a declaration speech of ‘being soulmates and the only one for him’ in front of the whole class from the ‘love of your life’ would warrant a ‘blushing to death and stammering’ or ‘outright fainting’. Not a facepalm, a groan, “Why me?” and a “I am sorry but NO. I don’t feel the same way about you”. Marinette vaguely wondered if there was some kind of rule for interesting events and confrontations to happen during lunch break while the class waits for Mme Bustier to start the lessons.

Marinette went to sit in her seat next to Chloe in the back row where she and her friends had been exiled to. The class was in stunned silence and questioning about whether or not they had fallen into an alternate universe or dreaming. Nathaniel and Alix tried to hide their snickers. Chloe just started outright laughing, turning very red in the face.

Marinette felt a nudge from Plagg in her bag. Looking down, she saw them holding up her phone to show Lila’s gaping face of horror with a wicked smug grin on their face. She looked through the photos to see everyone’s faces of confusion and shock at her rejection. Eyes wide and jaws dropped on the ground. Different shots of her classmates in the same state. She smirked and showed them to Chloe who calmed down enough, letting out the occasional giggles and took the phone with glee.

“Thank you, Plagg. Here you go.” she whispered, giving them a camembert macaron.(Tom had started experimenting with camembert in his recipes. Plagg is his first taste tester for all of them, making Tom one of Plagg’s favourite people.)

Adrien didn’t take the rejection very well.

“But we are meant to be. You are a designer and I am a model. Our partnership is the one to be envied by many for the ages.”

“And by that logic,” The designer turned to her main model for her MDC website, “Chloe, my love, will you be my one and only? For our love shines so bright ,paralleled only by a thousand suns.” Using the same voice Plagg does when they go on one of their love odes about camembert before losing her straight face and giggling.(Plagg doesn’t know whether to be offended or amused.)

Setting Chloe’s laughter off again. “Mariiiii,...stop….I can’t..*gasps*....I can’t…”

Nathaniel and Alix, finally lost control and joined Chloe in death by laughter. Adrien was flustered, turning red in the face either from anger, embarrassment or both.

“But Chloe isn’t a model.”

Marinette decided to put a stop to this, just on the off chance that Gabriel finally decides to akumatized his own son. She recomposed herself.

“She is the main model for my website and we have a partnership. You, however, work for your father. So does Miss Rossi. Does that sound like the partnership to be envied by many for the ages? Hmmm, Agreste? Anyways, like I said before, I have no interest in dating you.”

“Why not? We are friends and sometimes, friends like each other enough to date each other.” Adrien angrily asked.

“Because-”

“Because, Adrikins,” Chloe cuts in, ���friends having to date because one of them is interested in something more makes no sense and is fucked-up. Marinette doesn’t owe you anything. Besides, she already has a long distance boyfriend who lives in America.”

“WHAT!?” Adrien shouted.

“What?!” The class had snapped out of their stupor. Since when had Marinette gotten over Adrien and had a boyfriend?

“What?” Marinette looked at Chloe with wide-eyes. Last she checked she was still single so what the hell was Chloe playing at. For Kwami’s sake, she hadn’t been on a date since the one with Luka which went awkwardly before they agreed that they think of each other as siblings and it will be best to stay that way.

Chloe gave her a look that said ‘I will explain later.’

“Oh yes, they met online a few months ago and now they are all lovey-dovey together. It’s just so ridiculous, so utterly ridiculous how disgustingly in love they are. They have video call dates at least once a week and somehow make it work despite the time differences. He once came all the way to Paris just to see her. He brought her some special flowers that apparently meant-”

Marinette slapped her hand over Chloe’s mouth. “Well, Chloe, Queenie, as much as I love you as my friend, you can stop gushing about my love life now. Because class is about to start.”

She said through gritted teeth as Mme Bustier finished taking her sweet time and walked in. Sadly, Alya wasn’t done with the conversation ,“Wait a minute, since when did Chloe and you become close enough that she is modeling for you? And a boyfriend? Why didn’t you tell me, Girl? I thought we were friends. What about Adrien, he just confessed to you and you had been crushing on him for so long” Many girls gasped, angry that Alya broke the unspoken girl code.

“You have a crush on me?” Adrien looked hopeful. Like a lost kitten that had been stuck in the rain, was let into someone’s home.

“I had a crush on you,” Marinette corrected him, emphasising on the past tense, “and Alya had no business of sharing that information to the entire world despite us not being friends anymore.” She glared at the journalist who at least looked ashamed.

“You wanted to date Kagami so I moved on.”

One of the reasons anyway. I found out that you were my partner who had no concept of boundaries. You are a coward who only wants to maintain the class peace at the price of my mental health, she thought.

“Instead of continuing to pursue you.” She hoped the ever dense and oblivious model would get the hint she gave him. Tikki ,just this once, Grant me that ladybug luck.

“And Mme Bustier, it is time to start the lessons, don’t you think? Instead of focusing on the class drama to gossip about later on.” Marinette glared at the teacher, reminding her to do her job.

“Oh. Right.” Mme Bustier tried to regain her ‘perfect teacher’ image after getting embarrassed at being caught, “Right. Class, turn to page-”

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As soon as the bell rang for the end of school, Marinette dragged Chloe all the way to her room. Alix and Nathaniel followed them because as far as they know, Marinette had no boyfriends and they were as curious to find out what scheme Chloe had cooked up this time. They were as complicated and crazy as Ladybug’s. No offense, Marinette.

“Okay, Queenie, you have to explain why I now have a devoted American boyfriend who I am so in love with.” Marinette crossed her arms with a frown aimed at Chloe. The kwamis got out of their respective hiding places and went to the tray of food set out for them.

The trapdoor to her room opened, revealing the rest of their friend group before Chloe said anything.

“Did we miss anything?” Kagami asked as Longg and Sass joined the other kwamis.

“Juleka said something about an American boyfriend and how he sounds so romantic. Does that have to do anything with the text Alix sent us to come here?” Luka added.

“To recap, Adrien made a love confession to Marinette,” Alix started, biting into some of the delicious pastries the Dupain-Chengs gave them, ”in front of the entire class after an entire day of flirting and bad pick-up lines.”

“Wow, even after having his memories erased of being Chat Noir, he is still after Ladybug.” Luka chuckled, with the others joining in.

Marinette whined, “It was easier when he was Chat Noir. But now as Adrien Agreste, teen heartthrob, it is going to be much more difficult to get into his thick head that I don’t see him that way and it is going to get harder, now that Alya outed my old crush to him.”

“Oof. Sucks to be you.”

“So, our Mari-bug rejected him. He threw a tantrum and sulked, so like Chat Noir, how did we not notice?,” Alix continued, “After demanding reasons why they can’t date, Chloe gave Marinette an American boyfriend who she was in a long-distance relationship with. Speaking of, why did you do that?”

“I have known Adrik- Adrien since we were in diapers and I know how that mangy cat works. He grew up on Disney and had all those fairytales stuffed into his head. If you had told him that you were just not interested in dating at the moment, it won’t work because he will try his hardest to ‘woo’ you, because he still has a chance. He won’t push his luck as much if you were off the market.” Chloe explained.

“I am sure that, judging by the fact that Chat Noir still tries to date Ladybug despite her saying she is in love with someone, Adrien might try to get more proof of this boyfriend to make sure Marinette is just not pretending to have one.” Kagami pointed out.

“Ahh, but luckily I have a back-up plan. I have a friend, Tim Drake. We met at a few galas when we were younger and kept in touch. He also owes me a favor.”

“I hope this Tim Drake is cute.”

“He is and he’s older than you by two years and,” Chloe typed something on her phone, “A fellow caffeine addict so you can bond over that. Here’s a picture of him and his brother.”

On her phone were two extremely attractive and fit young men dressed in expensive suits at what looked like a gala, the older one had a charming polite smile with bright blue eyes, looking somewhat interested at what someone off-screen was saying despite looking like he will fall over any moment. His brother, however, looked like he would rather be anywhere but where he was. He was tanned and had green eyes that promised murder for daring to even breathe in his direction. Marinette noticed that he looked a little familiar but she can’t place why.

“Tim is the one that looks like he hasn’t slept in days and that’s his brother Damian next to him.”

“Wait a minute. That’s Tim Drake and Damian Wayne. The sons of Bruce Wayne, the billionaire co-CEO of Wayne Industries, which Tim Drake is also co-CEO of.” Nathaniel said with wide eyes and looked at Chloe, “You are using your favor to give our Mari here a fake boyfriend.”

“Of course, only the best for our Mari-bug.”

“Chloe, no, he is probably busy as he is with running the company. No need to get him involved in petty teenage drama.” No matter how much she doesn’t want to date Adrien, bothering a busy guy to be her fake boyfriend is not worth it in Marinette’s opinion. Which, of course, gets overruled by the overprotectiveness of her friends.

“I, for one, think this is one of Chloe’s better plans.” Kagami commented, the others agreeing with her. Traitors.

“Hey!” Chloe exclaimed, an offended look on her face, “Anyways, I will call him later.”

“Children, you better go home now before your parents worry.” Sabine’s voice came from below, “Remember we are also going through some drills tonight so try not to be late.” Having a former assassin for a mother is handy when you want to train a team of teenage superheroes.

“Bye, guys. See you later.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Just because you have been trained since birth does not excuse you from the drills. You also need to get used to the black cat.” Lady Mǔ lǎohǔ reprimanded her with her arms crossed. When Ladybug started her new team, she was the first permanent member but as the team got bigger, she stepped back to be back-up and mentor for the team.

“Yes, Maman, I know but I am nearly finished with this commission. I will catch up with you later. Promise.” Marinette stretched, looking up from her latest project. Plagg was napping in the little basket she had made for all the kwamis to sleep in which fit all of them and had some extra space for Nooroo and Dusuu after they had been retrieved.

The reason she had Plagg instead of Tikki who was with Alix was because of the new tactic the Miraculous Team came up with. To keep the balance the Ladybug and Black Cat must be active at the same time but with Adrien gone, someone must wield the ring until a new permanent holder is found and it was not a good idea for both of them to be on the same person at the same time. The team decided to rotate using the earrings and ring between them with Marinette using other miraculouses when the others have them. It also had the added bonus of making it harder for Hawkmoth to find out who has them at any given time.

“See you later, 灵儿 (líng er, means intelligence). I will give you 15 minutes but that’s it. Don’t be late.” Sabine sighed and got out the skylight and went towards the safehouse where the Miraculous team met to get training. (It is one of Sabine’s emergency safehouse to use in times of emergency and it had the required space to train 6 teenagers. Chat Noir never came to training, lazy cat.)

Marinette never made it to the warehouse.

Because a few minutes after her mother left, the skylight opened to let in five figures dressed in dark colours to easily blend into the shadows like they were trained to be. Too bad they weren’t as quiet. Marinette immediately summoned a bo-staff to defend herself.

One of them lunged at her and she retaliated by hitting the end of her staff to their middle, coupled with a couple more blows and landed one that knocked them out. The others threw throwing stars which she dodged by jumping back. Which landed her to be trapped by the two assassins, whom she didn’t notice, had moved. She cursed in every language she knew as she struggled against them. It led to no avail as she was badly out-numbered. There was a prick on her head and her world went black.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Plagg awoke to a loud commotion. Irritated, they poked their head out to see their new temporary kit knocked out, tied up and hauled away. Recognizing the kidnappers as assassins of the League of Shadows, they scowled. Ra’s Al Ghul was going to pay.

Plagg may not act like it much but the black kwami was patient and smart. Smart enough to leave a note with an explanation somewhere visible with the messy aftermath of a fight before trailing the assassins. Oh, Roarr’s tiger was going to be pissed once she found out what happened. Wherever they were taking Marinette, it would be best to have a kwami of destruction to help her escape. The night made Plagg almost invisible and allowed to move unseen. They caught up easily and hid in their holder’s midnight hair. Now, their patience came into play. It was a matter of waiting for the right moment to pounce.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tag list: @alysrose-starchild, @buginetye, @lookatthestars1, @blackroserelina, @macncheesemonster, @mochinek0, @myazael, @tonicxworld, @thewitchwhowaited, @t1dwarrior-of-earth, @kissa-chan, @iwantasecretidentity, @theymakeupfairies, @user00000003, @woe-is-me0, @kashlyn, @mochegato,@moonlightstar64 , @greatcatblaze, @moongoddesskiana, @tazanna-blythe. @tonicxworld, @toodaloo-kangaroo, @frieddonutsweets, @local-witch-of-mn, @lady-bee-fechin, @iglowinggemma28, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @k-tea-and-coffee, @jayjayspixiepop

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(Part 4)

[lale-txt]

Hello there! Would you have any recommendations for one piece writing blogs to follow? I love your writing and thought anyone you follow must be really good too!

thank you, dear! there are so many talented writers out there, i don't think i can name them all. but i can give you an incomplete list of "lovely people i interacted with that also happen to be amazing writers like wtf you're really blessing my eyes and soul for FREE with your thoughts? i'm kissing your eyes for that and hold you gently in my big yaoi hands" yeah

i always considered writing something very lonely but these people changed my mind on that. buckle up friends because i'm now gonna hold you all up lion king style to the world in alphabetical order

☽ @cherryblossom-chopper liv is so good at what she does. i love reading the match-ups she's doing atm because you can tell that she gives them lots of thought and passion. will also never forget that she requested Robin once from me which made me super happy

☽ @coraterve VEN. ven made me throw my phone away while reading several times because it was just so. good. SO GOOD. i still come back to that one headcanons with Rayleigh from last month because... because. (opens new tab)

☽ @cyborg-franky franky is a cyborg for real because how else can you write so much per day? with endless creativity? and still hold so much kindness in you? turned me into a Thatch simp, but careful, might aggressively adopt you on the spot.

☽ @dxvilmanlev i come running into lev's ask box everytime they announce a new event; and the events are always so cool and creative. loved especially poetry one! and ofc i love coming up with headcanons together, always pure joy.

☽ @flameboyace everytime rim posts new headcanons i'm up in my seat, ready to smash the like button, even if it's for characters i usually don't enjoy much (mingo, sorry). also a pleasure to talk to, hehe.

☽ @fire-fist-ann an angel! really pours their heart into writing, you can tell. i also enjoy coming up with headcanons together. also has the highest caffeine intake of everyone i know, might just be able to kill gods.

☽ @kaizokuwritings meli is a sweetheart & so good at everything she does, i live for her "the weekly thirst" series and her mini scenarios, how can you write a tiny paragraph that is still so powerful? amazing. also gave me feelings for momonga somehow?

☽ @log-p0se seeing po on my dashboard always make me super happy because i know that it will once again be amazing writing, she never disappoints. i admire the way she writes dialogue, it feels very natural. also the spicy headcanons? i have to lie down everytime after.

☽ @mimi-ya i always grab popcorn and get into a relaxing position whenever mimi shares new stuff, everything she throws out there is so amazing! which reminds me that i still have to fill out the form to request a birthday fic from her for me next month, hehe.

☽ @misao-writes i live for their headcanons, still make me holler as if i read them for the first time. will also show you their drawing of a chonky birb if you ask nicely.

☽ @missallsundaes the sheer excitement when they announced their return to writing aaahhhh!! a lovely and soft soul, radiates pure comfort. also their smut scenarios kill me everytime. would love to get a hug for them.

☽ @pure-kirarin kirarin completely turned my view on Sabo upside down. the slow & steady fic? gold. pure gold. i'm often struggling with focusing on long fics but this truly captured me!

☽ @secretsnailor whenever i feel proud for finishing a 1k word scenario, bee comes around and hits me with her 4k+ word fics that are all pure masterpieces. as mentioned, i struggle to focus on long fics but not with bee's, i just devour them whole.

☽ @simp4ace the sweetest! i am so happy that she started sharing her writing here more often because they make me laugh everytime! also a pleasure to talk to, i hope we can one day share a meal together, hehe.

☽ @strawhat-bast just love everything she puts out there. i giggled a lot over her Thatch headcanons about not expecting a confession from their crush. one of the people that make me so happy to be part of the writing community here.

☽ @sugxrslushy i just love the way maxx writes and how kind they treat every request and ask! has also super cool and creative events often which i admire. the match ups are always on point, you can tell they write them with love.

☽ @tsunderedoctor purple was also one of the first people i interacted with, a very good and kind noodle! amazing writer, everything is just *chef's kiss*, i always come running when i see her posting something new with my favs.

☽ @ztarvokwrites highly recommended if you have feelings for a certain candleman? also super excited for their 12 days under the mistletoe event, i came running as soon as i saw that requests were open.

[gregorygerwitz]

Ooh, read your meta on Jay and the mice and I was wondering if maybe it would be up your alley to write a fic or make a moodboard blurb about Mouse having DID with Brandon and Gregory in his head and Jay trying to figure out why his best friend sometimes seems like a different person or doesn't remember having gone to bed with someone or why he has injuries or bruises sometimes? Maybe Gregory is the personality that deals with Mouse's parents? And maybe Brandon is the playboy? And Mouse was the one who was addicted and worked with Jay and all that?

[ meta post ]

Hi, nonny!

Sorry this took so long to get to! I saw it as I was getting into bed last night and knew I wanted to wait until I was back on my laptop to answer this (answering things on the app confuses me I hate it the formatting is always a struggle), and then... my brain hyperfocused on spoiled rich boy scenarios and refused to cooperate with anything else. But! I'm here now! And focused on this ask! And oh my god... nonny. I don't know who you are, obviously, but if you followed me in my Marvel era, you know this is a very specifically targeted request.

I know this is niche as hell, but in my Agents of SHIELD era, I was a Leo Fitz blog. I had an RP blog for him at one point. 5x14 of aos is my favorite episode. I know this means nothing to so many people because like 80% of my followers are for One Chicago, but yes, this is up my alley!

we didn't get enough exploration of Leo and that episode as The Doctor/Leopold, and I definitely have a lot of problems with the narrative around it, but the Framework and its aftereffects on him are my favorite arc for his character, easily, and I still think about it often

but that's not on topic, I'm sorry, brain is going very fast because I've had caffeine, and I miss my Marvel boy*

Yes, exploring an AU where Mouse has DID and exploring the alternates of Brandon and Gregory (and the idea of Mouse adopting that nickname as a way to further differentiate between personalities and keep himself... organized, I guess? fascinated by that implication, actually) is absolutely something I'm interested in. However... I don't know enough about DID to write a proper fic, I don't think. Moodboard(s?) + a blurb might be in the cards, though. I'm going to think about this a lot.

And I love the idea of Brandon being the playboy. He's definitely the most flirty, of the three, because rejection and judgement don't scare him? On a separate note, I'm not entirely sure Brandon is human. Maybe we should check on that.

Thank you so much for this thought, anon. It's going to consume my every waking moment. 💜