#sorry for accidentally deleting this im drunk

[castletown-cafe]

Castletown Café Episode 27: Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie

It's been 8 years.....doesn't seem like that long, does it? On September 15th, 2015, Undertale launched to the world and took the internet by storm, delighting gamers young and old and capturing their hearts and minds with the story, humor, memorable characters, and beautiful music. Without Undertale, there wouldn't be Deltarune.

It's safe to assume that the pie Kris stole between Chapters 1 and 2 as well as the pie Toriel later teaches Susie how to bake is the same pie from Undertale: butterscotch-cinnamon pie. It's the pie Toriel is known for in Undertale, where she asks you early on in the game which flavor you prefer. It doesn't matter if you choose cinnamon or butterscotch, because she later bakes you one delicious pie with both flavors included that compliment each other perfectly.

This pie is well known by fans to restore your health to full HP, regardless of the route you take (which effects how much max HP you have). It even has plot significance! If you know, you know.

Since Undertale's launch, I've made butterscotch-cinnamon pie every September to commemorate it's anniversary. In previous years, I followed pre-existing recipes, but this year, I have concocted my own! The results are a beautiful custard pie with a perfectly-set filling and it tastes as heavenly as the pies I'd made in the past!

While many butterscotch pie recipes out there include a meringue topping, I always opt for a cinnamon-vanilla whipped topping, inspired by @terribletriocreations butterscotch-cinnamon pie recipe. That said, I'd love to try out my butterscotch-cinnamon pie recipe with a meringue topping one of these days!

There are so many different ways to make butterscotch pie, from the simple to the advanced. You can make it with the browning butter method, or use butterscotch chips, or an easy brown sugar and butter custard filling. Mine is the latter category; great for any beginner and easy to make! Here we go!

BUTTERSCOTCH-CINNAMON PIE:

1 pie crust, pre-made or made from scratch

1 cup firmly-packed dark brown sugar

3 tablespoons flour

3 tablespoons cornstarch

Pinch of salt

2 cups milk

4 egg yolks, divided

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Cinnamon-Vanilla Whipped Topping:

1 cup heavy cream

3 tablespoons powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Roll out pie crust and line a pie dish with it. Make sure the crust fits the dish, trim off any excess dough, and dock the bottom with a fork.

Crimp the edges of the crust around the rim of the pie dish. I do it by pinching the dough with my fingers and thumb, but using a fork or another utensil works, too.

In a small bowl, scramble one egg yolk with a little bit of water and brush the rim to gloss the edges of the pie.

Grab a sheet of foil and place in the pie, then fill with dried beans or pie weights. Bake the crust for about 7-10 minutes. After that, remove it from the oven for a moment.

Remove the beans or pie weights and place a pie shield on the rim of the pie shell to prevent the crust rim from overcooking. If you don't have a pie shield, grab a sheet of foil and place it over the pie, cutting out the center where the filling should go. Instant pie shield! Now, bake your pie crust again for another 5-7 minutes, or until your crust is fully baked. Remove it from the oven yet again. If the crust puffs up at the bottom, squish it back down with a spoon.

In a small mixing bowl, beat 3 egg yolks and set aside.

In a saucepan over medium heat, combine brown sugar, flour, cornstarch, and salt. Whisk together for 30 seconds, then slowly add the milk while continuing to whisk in order to prevent any clumps or lumps from forming.

Cook the mixture, stirring constantly to prevent burning, until it's nice and thick and is bubbling a wee bit.

Stir in the butter and keep cooking as the butter melts. After that, keep stirring and cooking for a few more minutes, then remove from heat.

With a ladle, slowly incorporate (while whisking) 1 cup of the hot butterscotch mixture into the egg yolks to temper the eggs and prevent scrambling from occurring. Once you've added and mixed it together, feel free to add just a little more butterscotch, slowly, to ensure that the eggs gradually got hot enough. Then simply pour your egg mixture back into the saucepan with the remaining butterscotch.

Return your butterscotch to medium heat and cook again for another 3 minutes or so, then stir in the vanilla and cinnamon until fully incorporated.

Pour that butterscotch filling into your prepared pie shell and bake once again for another 7-10 minutes. Remove your pie from the oven and let it cool completely. Once cooled, your custard should be completely set and ready for the whipped topping!

In another mixing bowl, combine heavy cream, powdered sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon and beat on medium speed until stiff peaks form. Attach your decorating tip of choice to a piping bag and place it in a tall glass to fill it with the whipped cream. As you would with decorating a cake, pipe the whipped topping over your pie in any pattern or design you'd like. If you want, you can sprinkle the top with a little extra ground cinnamon for a finishing touch. Enjoy and stay determined! ❤

[paopujuice]

OKAY okayokayokay i will stop seinfeldposting

[zeltqz]

call me or not, it's up to you.

☰ — synopsis : you come back home after a night out and see you accidentally posted your private stories public, and received a drunk lengthy voicemail from your ex, ran.

☰ — pairing : haitani ran x fem!reader ☰ — length : 2.4k words ☰ — contents : nsfw and 18+ contents, mentions of violence (sanzu being sanzu), slight phone sex; they don't directly communicate, ran being mildly toxic and messing with your emotions, teeny itsy bitsy drops of gaslighting ☰ — notes : i literally suck at writing toxic characters so im SORRY if this is literal ass, (im trying my hardestttt) i just had a dream about this and had to execute it as best as i could lol

It was a regular Thursday night when you stumbled into your date’s house, struggling to walk with half a heel working. 

“Let’s get you out of these.” He knelt before you and helped you unbuckle your heels and you sighed in relief when he slipped them both off. 

“Remind me to never wear heels again,” you giggled, clutching onto him. He leaned down and kissed you. You hummed, still feeling the buzz from the alcohol earlier and wrap your arms around his waist, kissing him back. “I had fun tonight.���

He cupped both your cheeks in his hands and peppering them with kisses, each of them making you giggle at the ticklish feeling. “Me too.” There was a final lingering kiss before he pulled away. “Let’s get you ready for bed, alright?” He traced your cheekbones with his finger, and you smiled up at him, nuzzling your cheek against his hand.

“Okay.” He helped you up the stairs and you collapsed onto his bed, your dress riding up your thighs as you laid there, clutching at his soft sheets.

“I’m gonna shower first, alright babe?” He said in the process of removing his shirt. “Wanna join me?”

You shook your head, eyes threatening to close shut as you nuzzled his pillow. “I’m alright. You go first.”

He bit his lip, admiring you splayed out on the sheets for a moment, his mind racing with all the things he could do you tonight if you’d join him in the shower. But of course his fantasies only stay in his head since you’ve been rejecting every single one of his advances for the last three months. It’s always the same excuses : you’re not in the mood, or you’re too tired. 

He sighed. “You sure babe?”

You’re half asleep at this point, just barely conscious as you murmur, “‘m sure.” His tongue poked his cheek and he nodded, saying nothing else and heading inside the bathroom. 

You vaguely hear the shower turn on and about to enter a deep sleep when your phone buzzes.

@/shibayuzuha : oh my god who is this man u’re with on ur story? He is CUTE!!

@/hina_tachibana : was this supposed to be posted on your main? 😢

“What story?” you muttered, rubbing your eyes and sitting up. You click  through your instagram story and rewatch the story you posted a few hours earlier when you were at the club. They were all videos of you and Masato dancing together, kissing, taking shots. Honestly you were buzzed the entire night and you thought you posted them on your private account, much less your close friends. “Oh fuck.”

You went to delete all the stories but the damage was already done, over 300 people already saw it. Oh well. That’s tomorrow’s problem. 

You lay back down, eyelids blinking slowly as you fight back sleep and check your missed phone calls you accidentally ignored. That’s when you see it. A voicemail from Haitani Ran. Any ounce of sleep in your body vanished the moment you sat up quickly, rubbing your eyes checking if you saw correctly.

It was over five minutes long and part of you wanted to delete it, but at this moment, you couldn’t help but be curious. You pressed play and put the phone up to your ear.

“Hey. It’s me. Hope I’m not blocked or whatever, I know how petty you can get.” He chuckled to himself and the deep rumble of it took you back to all those months ago when you’d be laying beside him, head on his chest and just listen to the sound of his heartbeat as he spoke on the phone.

There was a deep inhale and the familiar crackle of him smoking that always used to relax you. “Saw your story by the way. Is that your new boy toy? Two of you look good together.” He exhaled and his voice was kinda slurred. “Kinda glad you moved on though. Thought you’d never get over me to be honest.”

“Oh fuck off,” you mumbled. He was still as full of himself as he was when you both ended things almost a year ago. If this was a regular phone call you would’ve hung up or told him he’s not that special, but you looked down and still saw another six minutes left. What the fuck else could he possibly have to say to you?

He chuckled again, and it was so obvious he was drunk now, which surprised you as he was a heavy weight and in your three years of dating you saw him get drunk only twice. 

“You looked so fucking sexy in that dress, baby.” His groan had you squeezing your thighs together. “I can tell by the way he was holding you in those fucking videos he can’t handle you the way I can. He hasn’t fucked you yet, has he? Bet he’s real gentle and sweet with you not knowing you like it deep, and rough. Fuck, man.” He exhaled, rubbing his palm on his face. “Wanna know what I’d do if I was there with you baby?”

“...yes,” you whispered weakly to yourself. It was pointless; he couldn’t hear you and yet you were responding like he could. Blame it on the alcohol but there was nothing you wanted more than Ran right now.

“Bet you do. I’ll humour you though. I’ll take you to the dance floor and run my hands all over that body of yours, force that pretty head of yours back so I can mark all over your neck. Get you so hot and bothered till you’re begging me to fuck you. That happened one time didn’t it? Remember that one night in the club? I had my hands all over you and you dared me to flip your skirt up and fuck you right there. Man, you were such a tease, and a fucking sadist too. Remember when you said you wanted to watch some schmuck clean up my cum from the floor?”

You giggled and bit your lip, teasing your hands down your stomach. You remembered that night perfectly. Ran changed you when you were dating. You don’t even recognise yourself right now because everything just felt right when you were with him. Those years with him were the best of your life, you were young and figuring shit out. You’re still young and figuring shit out, but without him you’re taking a little longer to come to the conclusion of certain things.

Ran had his ups and downs. He was far from the perfect boyfriend, and he knew that. That’s why he was so surprised when you stayed for all those years despite his flaws. He was emotionally unavailable and never spoke about anything concerning him. He was sometimes rude and blunt when pissed off, and the arguments you both would get into would end up in the two of you ignoring each other for weeks. At first you’d be the one to break the silence and show up to his house and just hug him. He’d always smell like cigarettes and it should’ve disgusted you yet you couldn’t help but feel comfort. The smell was strong and yet it never bothered you when you smelt it on him. You’d apologise, crying in his arms as he embraced you back, rubbing up and down your back as you vented it all out in his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears. If he had people over he’d tell them to get the fuck out, hiding your face in his chest until the door closed.

That was the usual routine until the arguments got worst and your pride grew stronger and you’d refuse to talk to him  until he broke it first. He didn’t believe you at first but after a month of no contact he finally broke it first. Since then, he was always the one apologising first, showing up to your house in the middle of the night at random hours to tell you he’s sorry and didn’t mean what he’d said. 

The ups were better than the downs in the relationship. He’d teach you things, he always made you feel good, and simply being next to him was enough to make your entire week, even if it's for a few hours. He made you feel like the only girl in the world, like the most special girl to exist, and he helped boost your confidence by buying you nice things like clothes, accessories, lingerie, and tell you to look at yourself in the mirror and watch as he worships your body, taking his time to kiss his way down your stomach and thighs, and once he got to your pussy he swore  he could eat you out for hours, just until your thighs were shaking around him.

The memory of his tongue between your legs had your back arching off the bed clutching the phone tighter to your ear as you squeezed a hand between your legs, playing with yourself as he talked you through it over the phone.

“Bet you’re touching yourself right now,” he exhaled shakily. “If you’re not, you better start. Want you to remember how well I fucked you every time. Can you do that for me baby?”

“Mmhmm.” Thankfully Masato takes decades in the shower so you didn’t have to worry about him walking in or hearing. Not like you would’ve cared honestly. He’s not Ran, and he won’t ever be.

“Miss you being my good girl. Fuck. He doesn’t deserve to have his hands all over you. Should send Sanzu over and fuck, get him to cut all his fucking fingers off for touching you like that. Man, I bet that idiot doesn’t know that I fucked you in that same dress you know? That’s what got me so damn bothered right now. Wearing the shit I bought you to go fuck around?”

“‘M sorry,” you whimper, parting your folds and slipping as many fingers as you could fit inside without hurting yourself. No matter whatever you shove inside there, it never feels as good as Ran’s fingers, or tongue, or cock. “Need you so bad Ran.”

“Man, wanna hear how you sound right now. Bet you sound so sweet, like usual. Could you do something for me?” You nodded and stopped your fingers movements, listening to his next words.

“Call me again. I miss you so much it’s crazy. Got so much to talk to you about. It’s been how long? Couple months since I last heard from you. And I know you don’t hate me. You never could. That’s something I love about you. Always there for me when I need you. We both took each other for granted, you know? Deny it all you want but you did. And that’s okay. But I wanted to let you know if you ever come back into my life, I’m not letting you go. For real, not making that mistake again. I dunno why I called you tonight honestly, just drank a lot and now I fucking miss you. Call me or not, it’s up to you.”

Then he said the words that made your heart nearly stop and freeze over in your chest. “I love you.” 

Before you could even say it back the voicemail ended, leaving you conflicted.

[leejeongz]

🫧 fake texts with enhypen - you confess to him while drunk 🫧

genre: fluff, suggestive content in jay’s

warnings: suggestive content, reader is drunk, I MADE AN UNINTENTIONAL GRAMMATICAL ERROR IN NIKI’S IM SORRY GUYS

a/n: i accidentally deleted the rq so if this was yours im really sorry i didn’t respond to it directly 😭

[kenphobia]

HEART STUTTER!

"you're the absolute most."

summary. wally headcanons with a gender-neutral who isn't good at talking, uses vague wording and confuses smiliar sounding words with each other. ( headcanons / rewritten / see end notes)

contents. fluff i think. possibly ooc too. barnaby teasing the heck out of wally. take the L, wallace, take it.

✦ Wally finds it oddly charming, for some inexplicable reason. He tries his best to understand you and somehow he knows what you're trying to say better than you could. He does let you explain for yourself, but once you turn to him with those pitiful eyes of yours, he couldn't help but finish your words for you.

✦ In some way, Wally understands how you feel. He is a charming little puppet but even so, he slurs his speech a lot which at times make him sound drunk and inaudible.

✦ Whenever you misuse and confuse words, Wally will use context clues to figure out what you're saying. To him, it's like a little puzzle game and he enjoys it very much. He does wonder how you can say typos out loud, concerning but he eats with his eyes so he can't complain.

✦ He'll always reassure you that your speech is fine and that you can take your time figuring what to say. You look better smiling than with your brows creased like that, so cheer up!

✦ Out of all of the neighbors, he understands you the most. You could refer to food as "Biting things" and he'll fetch some for you instantly, he makes a few mistakes at times and he apologizes deeply. Wally doesn't like making assumptions, especially if those assumptions makes you upset at yourself.

✦ Wally could pick up your vague wording the more he spends time with you. He wouldn't notice it until Barnaby mention it.

"And so, (Name) and I went to fetch the things from Poppy's place before coming to meet you all here." Wally vaguely gestured to the food laid on the picnic blanket underneath them, his eyes drifting you chatting and helping Julie fly her kite.

The larger puppet nodded his head, smiling almost teasingly. Wally quirked a brow at Barnaby's sudden weird attitude.

"Is there a problem, Barnaby?" Wally questioned.

"Oh no, it's nothing." Barnaby shrugged, taking his tobacco pipe from his mouth and into his large paw. He glanced over to you and Julie before turning back to Wally. "So, you and (Name), huh?"

"... Yes, we are an item, Barnaby. Is there something wrong?"

"Nope! It's just that you're so in love with them that you're already copying them." Barnaby chuckled. He took a breath in and blew out from his pipe.

"I'm—" Wally paused, his brows furrowed. "I don't think I follow what you mean, Barnaby. I do love them, in fact I am madly captivated by them, but I don't think I'd be so inclined to do the same things as they do."

"Oh yeah?" Wally raised a jesting brow. "Then, tell me what you were doing before the picnic." He gestured to the picnic set before the two of them.

"Well, that's easy!" Wally clapped his hands joyfully. "I woke up, finished some evenings, no, paintings! Yes, those things. Then, um, I met up with you all to talk about things and after cat— that! I went with (Name) to get the stuff from Poppy's and— Oh good lord."

Barnaby letted out a roaring of laughter and patted Wally's back. "You see what I mean now?"

Wally nodded silently, dumbfounded by how oblivious he was towards his speech. He was usually self-aware, watchful and cautious about the way he acts yet he managed you fumble over his words. Right in front of his best friend too.

"I guess they got your tongue tied?"

"Barnaby, kindly shut up for once."

author's note. i amr ushing, I am RUSHING!!!! this was requested by @ssvv-cc but i accidentally answered their ask with the wrong contents and i deleted it so um terribly sorry :')) i might upload the last one but for now, let me cry in shame

again, my requests are always open. do note that im not a welcome home writer but i do writer many other things <33 /nm

[senbbonzakura]

someone asked for this but i accidentally deleted the request, im so sorry anon💔

⋆ DRUNK SEX WITH STAN :

aged up!

where do i even begin

okay imagine he was at a party and you didnt go with him for whatever reason

he used that opportunity to get drunk asf bc usually u keep track of how much he drinks so he doesnt get WAY too drunk.

which happened this time

u had to pick him up from the party late at night

he thought u wer at him bc he woke u up lmao

"im sorry😿"

when ur finally home u immediately sent him to bathe and stuff

in the mean time u lay in the bed waiting for him

u were almost asleep when u suddenly felt him hugging u from behind and kissing ur neck..

ur in for a night😭

"need u right now, baby"

okay so

stan is a lot more touchy when drunk

and rough...

flips u so ur laying on ur back and gets behind ur thighs

makes out with u while trying to take ur undetwear off

desperate while wasted

kisses u sloppily while fingering you with 2 fingers😜😜

"doing so good f me baby"

u have to tell him when u want him finally inside bc he doesnr realize if ur ready

really slow at first

waits until u beg for him to speed up

hearing ur moans turns him on so much more

alcohol makes him so sensitive too

hes also a lil more vocal

grunts

whimpers a bit if u blow him tho

[boabel]

aghh lily im so sorry i accidentally posted my incomplete anona fact things early and then had to delete it, so i have to do it here 😭

@persephoneprice i am so sorry 😭

also just a funny thing to mention, my earliest draft of anona's name was pippa ryenn, i then changed it because pippa was too close to pip, my other oc and ryenn was too on the nose with the grain theme 😭 but yeah u were definitely destined for anona to be ur fav bc her earliest name draft was also ur pippa's name 😭

anyway on to the actual ask:

- she is eighteen during her games, making her thirty five at the time of her death

- before her games, she's very outgoing and is friends with everyone

- she also swears off lying, since her father hates it

- her birthday is october eighth

- she is always haunting the narrative trust

- most of the stage plays she performed were written by her father, it was a hobby of his to write that he kind of gave up in favor of providing for anona

- her father calls her 'nona.

- during her interview for the games, she lies that "her ma is capitol-bred" and that her mother became a peacekeeper and was sent to nine, so she wins some favor in the capitol.

- she copes with the lying by telling herself it's just acting like back home, and her pa wouldn't be upset

- she says her father brews medicine for sick children in district nine, and that she has three loving siblings who wanted her home.

- when, in reality, anona is an only child whose mother (who was not capitol) died in childbirth.

- but anona doesn't like lying. she wishes she were braver and was able to accept it and "die an honest death instead of living a life of lies", but she loves her life more than anything, she loves her father and she loves her friends and she loves performing.

- that need to live outweighs the thought of dying with dignity and nobility.

- and anona's a great actress, for seventeen years people believe her story, and she's one of the most admired victors.

- but, deep down, anona starts hating her life more and more, something she never thought she would do, having to see the children she mentors die. she wants something to happen, she wants rebellion, though she has no idea how she can do it herself.

- she drifts away from her pa and her old friends, in shame and exhaustion

- now this is where it gets interesting:

- i mentioned that panlo had two younger brothers, one of which (jaz) goes on to be my oc thea's grandfather.

- well, panlo's other brother, garner, grew up with anona. he gets angry that she lied her way out of the games, while his brother died from being honest.

- after his brother's death, garner started to become more and more rebellious, and has a giant fallout with his other brother jaz over "what panlo would of wanted" (garner basically did the same sort of things billy taupe and spruce did, trying to sneak people out of prisons, and then the district itself)

- anona explains that she doesn't want to be lying, and she's doing it to keep her father, her friends and herself alive.

- garner, being a known rebel, explains what he's doing (after getting to know anona for a while, and realising that she's actually very trustworthy)

- garner and anona eventually work out a deal, anona will continue her act on the capitol, but use any money they give her to get supplies to help get people out of nine.

- their plan works smoothly for years, and anona and garner form a close bond.

- that is, until anona can't take it anymore, she sees people die everyday (especially since she started aiding rebellion, the peacekeepers got stricter in punishment)

- she gets drunk and openly speaks on her hate for the capitol, and for the first time in forever, she feels free again, she's no longer confined by a performance that she doesn't want to be a part of.

- she wakes up the next day and realises what she's done, and how she is going to be killed for it. and, after everything, she doesn't regret it. she gets garner and the other rebels to flee north (which they do).

- anona never thought she would die an honest death, but she does.

- she finally feels the same as she did when she was younger, before the games, onstage.

- she finally feels herself again, and if she has to die in the next hour in order to live her truth, so be it.

anyway that was a complete and utter lore dump i am so sorry, if i ever end up writing an anona-based fic i completely spoiled most of it 😭

thank u sm for the ask (sorry i accidentally deleted it) and im actually so happy that you like anona 💗

[doradotcom]

(accidentally!!!!) almost cut myself with a knife and literally my first thought was omg that was probably subconciously on purpose even though it wasnt and idk why but im always trying to convince myself that everything i do accidentaly is actually on purpose and that im for example trying to hurt myself/others if im careless and doing it on purpose to be awful but that theres a mental block that wont allow me to realize that im not doing it accidentaly but that its somehow thought out. like ill step on a friends foot and be like yeah you actually probably conciously wanted to do that but are convicing yourself its on accident cause if you somehow get rid of that mental block and realize its not youll literally kill yourself out of guilt for being horrible. even though there is no mental block and subconcious desire to do anything bad and im making it all up in my head so i can feel horrible. sorry this constant jumping through mental hoops to make myself the worst person alive literally doesnt make sense to anyone else but me + i explained it horribly + im not gonna read it again + probably misspelled a million things + lowk drunk and will forget to delete this in the morning

[clonesome]

I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE ORIGINAL ASK BC ITS LIKE 4AM WHEN IM TYPING THIS AND I HIT THE WRONG BUTTON A C K sorry @kapuchino357 BUT I AM ANSWERING YOUR ASK <3

(AS OF WRITING THIS BIT IN PARANTHESIS I HAVE TRIED WRITING THIS 13 TIMES its not you its me lolol i hust have so much to saaaaay and I feel like it's about damn time I finished it skdkkf)

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SCREAM ABOUT MY OCS !!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Also a thank you to all of my friends who play around with our OCs like it's pretend on the playground <3 thank you for helping me get a few of my OCs out of my head and out where they can be enjoyed.

I think we should start with Leandro, since he takes up most of my brain meats:

♡ Leandro Placido, he is in his late 20s. 1930s-40s eh ish time period wise aesthetic in a somewhat fantasy world i guess lol, he loves to dress in both men's and women's fashions (Loretta being the name he teases others with when he dresses up in typical womens fashion and goes out. But not always, sometimes he really does just want to feel pretty as Leandro and thats fine too <3). "Cleaner", he cleans up the crime scenes and disposes of bodies for his Boss and he's the best one in their Family. Which is so fitting bc his Boss found his sorry ass in a dumpster of all things. He had unintentionally been helping the guys he ran into dispose of a body he thought was regular trash and long story short after helping them they threw him in the dumpster too to get rid of him and that is when the Big Boss was told of him and well.. there he was.

Loud and rowdy, he never really knows when to keep his mouth shut with most things. He also has a quick temper, especially if he's drunk but not always. He's a bumbling idiot with a heart of gold. He plays the trombone terribly on purpose to annoy people, though he is actually a really skilled player. He uses sex, and other things, as a weapon against himself but learns that he doesn't need to do that as he grows in his story. Unfortunately he's also a rat, secretly having infiltrated his Family by the very enemy who wants nothing more than to get rid of them once and for all. Too bad he's fallen in love with the head maid of the House, and when he falls, he falls incredibly h a r d. Only having ever been in one other full relationship with a girl he went to high school with, which he ended in one of the worst ways possible (smh poor Annity), he wasn't sure how to explain his feelings for her. And then he accidentally catches her and one of his best friends in bed together, so after that he doesn't want to get in between two of some of the most important people in the world to him. So he just.. flirts, and really why would she think any different?

He always flirts. With everyone. So they do this tired song and dance of him shamelessly flirting with her, and her being annoyed (and flustered) by it because she thinks he's just teasing her relentlessly. And it goes on.. for a long time. Until... after like A Lot. For instance: him bedding a different high power Underworld Boss while black out drunk and also not even knowing who he was, getting kidnapped (almost four times) and getting most of his tongue cut out on a successful kidnapping to remind him of who he really works for (and if there is one thing he hates is a traitor, boy look in the damn mirror who do you think you are), being sent off to work at the docks for three months after getting into a heated argument with his Boss (over the Boss's relationship bc GASP Leandro has a bit of a lusty crush on him too! Messyyyyy), him having a crush on a dance hall owner (Bruce) bc he taught him how to love the side of him that he calls Loretta (which in turn has him accepting his whole self), Annity showing back up in his life with their son William (double gasp!), his abusive parents showing back up after he gets arrested for the 43rd (to which he is owed 43 phone calls dammit! Lol!), among... other happenings. . . They finally get their happy ending. But, not in the way they expected. And that fits them just fine.

He's messy, in all senses of the word, but cleans up nice. It takes him too long to get his shit together. He's the dumpster fire that lives in my heart lol. Very 'sun coded' or whatever it's called in the ways that he burns himself too bright in a way that will destroy him. he's viciously angry while having so much love for others but almost none for himself. More than willing to take a bullet for anyone, but will also put a bullet in whoever his Boss feels like.

He's also so dense. No book smarts, only street smarts. If anyone he truly loves flirts back with him, like the Head Maid or Bruce, it is seriously like they are talking to a brick/concrete wall. Also the trope of 'love me so much it undooms me' but only after it's too late.

He dies, of course only after realizing just how much he wants to live. And how much he now has to let go because death has always been coming for him. He had so desperately wished for it so many times, except now he wishes for anything but. And that's when his time is up.

He then appears on a beach, which he has dreamed about- so much like the one back home. A home he hasn't seen since he was a child running around wild. And who does he see a little ways down the shore? The love of his life and the promised spirits of their two children that they are lucky enough to have in their next lives. He runs over and embraces her, twiling her around and bringing a trail of waves around them in the air as he does so all while crying into her hair as she clings just as tightly. After he sets her down and kisses her, the children tackled him into the ever on coming surf. And he gets a taste of what his after life is supposed to be- until all of a sudden, after a small talk with his beloved, they all disappear. He can't see or hear them, but they can see and hear him as he calls out helplessly for them. And he thinks, this is it. This is the hell that he had always known he would end up in. He just wasn't prepared for it. He also was not prepared for the heart shaped lock that magically appeared and locked itself unbearably tightly through his chest and into the space where his heart was. Then the beach is gone, where his loving family are just as confused to his disappearance.

He's back to the place where he died, held back by someone who has unfinished business with him. A girlfriend who had never been able to let him go, Annity. Who.. isn't all bad she's just... complicated.

Cursingly haunting the person who is keeping him from moving on, becoming almost nothing more than a twisted rage filled demon. He dooms the person holding his spirit hostage for years until the love of his life (who had died before him, in his arms. Tragic.) uses almost the last of her own spirit energy to save him, oh yeah, and to stop the ghost marriage Annity had been so close to achieving!

With help of course!

From a medium- who turns out to be his Boss' younger sister who he would have done anything for while living (and who after most of his tongue was cut out she taught him sign language). And his own son, who all this time hadn't been able see him, but had sensed.. something was off for the past few years with his mother. He never would have guessed it was something like this.

And only then, when all of his and others wrongs are in some way set to right, are they allowed to live their after life in happiness and love. Because after all of this... he gets his revenge- in a way, he forgives those he feels deserves it... but also he forgives himself for his past mistakes that he didn't even know he learned from.

I just have so many feelings about him and all of the scenarios he could get himself into when he isn't confined to the limits of the story he is doomed by and haunts himself.

Next is Graskogr of Strilgahl and Isabeau, they are a couple of destiny do NOT separate them. let's start with Gras:

♡Graskogr of Strilgahl, 874 years old give or take a few years, 12'9", fantasyyyy so anything I say goes yay =], they speak with two voices (i imagine it to sound like a duet, in the beginning I thought of something like the duet between Ashley Barrett and Daniel Korb from the Hades soundtrack bc their voices together are absolutely beautiful. But not im thinking its something like whatever those two characters from this game my friend plays. One voice is gruff and animalistic while the other is light and serene.) sometimes one voice leads while the other has an overlaying whisper it just depends. Ruler of a kingdom that they had lived in their centuries long life, having overthrown the previous ruler and brought peace and prosperity to their kingdom. Though they are now hated by every other surrounding kingdom, either for how long they've been in power or just becuase of how powerful they themselves are. Having been granted great magical ability from their godlike parentage, they have a fully golden akorhraca (bullshit fantasy metal I made up lol) arm that can transform into any weapon they wish. Though more of a curse than blessing, they need magical energy to survive. And a lot of it. And if they call upon their weapons too often or use too much power the ichor spreads. They have fissures of the stuff all over their body like lightning scars almost. Something akin to a big dark blue broken plate fixed with gold.

They've had so many marriages over their life, most ending with the partner leaving. As a product of whoever not wanting to be with them or being to afraid of them or for whatever reason once the political side of things was secured the partner would end the marriage. And they would let them, gladly. Not really caring here nor there abiut a relationship, until one. Karya, a human, far smaller and fragile than them. It was the first time in their life they had felt something like love. Though that wasn't necessarily what they would have called it, not having the words to describe how they felt. (And honestly neither do I lol) The two lived happily for many years, Gras allowing themselves to dote on this tiny woman and also allowing her to do the things she could for them as well.

But then she got sick. Gras tried everything they could to heal her, but for some reason... nothing they did worked. So unfortunately the beloved queen passed. And they went into a deep grieving, a depression so deep they shut everyone and everything out for a few centuries. At one point in the beginning even closing off the kingdom to anything and everyone other than those who greatly needed their help. Refusing to speak anything more than a grunt or one word answer whenever a steward would ask something of importance to the kingdom.

They even gained a new pronoun during this time, they start using It to refer to themselves as well lol.

Though after their initial grieving, they went into a rage. So terrifying and powerful that it woukd be spoken of for centuries after, and it is also a reason as to why they are so hated. Taking their seemingly unending anger out whatever they felt like. But thankfully it didn't last too long. But it would scar their public perception from other kingdoms forever. Oh they also sort of become an assassin for hire as well during this time. Not even seeing the need to disguise themselves either so everyone knew it was them who was coming for their targets lol. Though instead of being paid in money they would be paid in things that would help their kingdom, that admittedly would struggle due to their absence.

Most of their time, however, after their rage would be spent in the chambers that they had dedicated to Karya.

Okay enough doom and gloom, well not really but whatever, now onto Isabeau!

♡Isabeau, a harpy woman who has lived with her flock in the mountains her entire life. Until she is accidentally cursed by some novice magic user to be a tiny little bird. Unable to speak or transform back, the magic user feels absolutely awful for the wrong they have caused her. Vowing to help return her to her glorious self, the two set out to undo this curse. Eventually being separated by a strong wind that blows Isabeau's tiny form aaaaaaaaaaallllll the way to Strilgahl.

Where the first interaction she gets with Graskogr is they try to shoot her with an arrow from their fantasy metal arm.

Off to a great start.

So she retaliates by trying to use her small but sharp talons to scratch them. But it doesn't do anything, not even leave a mark.

And something stirs inside Graskogr, a light feeling he hasn't felt for many years. Seeing the tenacity of this little tiny thing to live. To not die by their hand. It causes them to laugh, truly for the first time since their beloved passed. Though it was nothing more single chuckle. But still.

It confused Isabeau, who just moments before this hulk of a figure was just trying to kill her. And now it was... laughing. Or almost laughing? She wasn't sure. . . Just as long as death wasn't staring her in the face. And at this point she is so exhausted she just passes out.

So Gras takes care of this little bird, a thing that it's beloved loved so much..

Aaaaand unfortunately that's kind of all I have for sure for them. But there is also some dream stuff, where Gras sees Isabeau's true form in their dreams but all they really see is a person made of light so they think st first that it is Karya guiding them. And maybe in some way it is. Karya may be watching over these two idiots and be pushing them together so that they can be happy.

They teach each other how to love and trust and l i v e again. Despite the harships and curses. Despite everything. The live and they love. And for them, that is enough.

( and also for this Fantasy land Leandro also has a form here where he is a fallen star turned Mortal and Human. Or he thinks he's Human. He has amnesia from the fall and transformation. Lol but other than that and some more magical powers he's basically the same character. )

Aaaaaand that's all I have time for folks. If these characters of mine are interesting for you and you read this far. I love yooouuuuuuu lolol ask me more stuff about them and I may have answers to give.

[synonymouswithanonymous]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

hearts

Stole this quote from elsewhere. Please skip if uninterested.

"I’m sorry babe but no. Don’t try to excuse what Fanny did/does and then shame Jo for doing the same type of shit. "

Exactly. I mean, I'd never shame Fanny for doing this either. Her sister kept the video/pics up for the whole 24 hours. After it was deleted by FB I checked bc she was there too. So if he asked for removal he missed a few links lol. But we don't know her motivations at all.

But my interpretation of Johannes "snooze you lose ❤❤❤❤" post is not a negative interpretation. The hearts alone give me the impression that she was being playful. Maybe she was taking stock of how quick fans are? Maybe she wanted to prank her own friends? Maybe she was joking? Maybe she was casting a side eye? It doesn't come across as very mean spirited, but it was read wrong by people that want to read her wrong. I think if it was a joke to check how fast some people grab photos, then it was pretty funny. Maybe it was to prove a point 18 seconds on the screengrab I saw. The point being, the drunk video was an accidental post, but you can't even make a less than 2 min mistake bc it's already been grabbed after 18seconds. I thought it was funny, if she was making a point. But my sense of humor is vastly different from some of these particular haters. 😂😂 I thought the nun videos were hilarious (im catholic). I think call me dad is hilarious, and I want a second season.

Also, Johanne did this ONE time, one time, perhaps to make a point or point out the quickness. But Fanny has done this many, many times. But now the hate for Fanny is gone bc she's not the GF. It's only bad if Johanne does it once, never to be forgotten even though it was over a YEAR AGO! 😂😂

[kirishimas-headband]

I’m so sorry about last night I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

!!! omg no don’t be that was fun hahaha

[filmbyjy]

JAM OUT

PAIRING > lee heeseung x fem!reader

synopsis > who knew you’d break the first rule of being in a friends with benefits relationship? maybe it was lee heeseung himself that made you catch feelings. either ways, he doesn’t do feelings and you knew that. as your relationship with heeseung strains so does the band. what happens then?

GENRE > band au, college au, slowburn, tons of angst but it will end off on a good note because im not heartless🤌🏻

FEATURING > ryujin & yeji from itzy, yedam from treasure, taehyun & hueningkai from txt (more idols may or may not appear)

WARNING > light smut (but not really), dick jokes (tons of it), just boys being boys and fuckboys. quite a lot of heartbroken moments👍🏻

SCHEDULE > I’ll update whenever I can🙃

TAGLIST > closed as series has ended 😔

START: 5 August 2022 (have to restart this) | END: 6 October 2022

NOTE: god can’t believe I accidentally deleted my account😭😭 but here we are again, sorry everyone🙏🏻

PROFILES: decelis (and not decelis) | side hotties🥵

– prologue: before it started…

one: panty dropper and his deez nuts jokes

two: you get bitches?

three: yn caved in [explict picture]

four: the debutation of b-b-b-baka

five: men suck

six: you’re a girlboss

seven: a very much needed explaination [written]

eight: it hurts to have feelings

nine: mayhaps I can’t give up on you

ten: oi hadh saex weet heurrrrr

eleven: built like the Eiffel Tower

twelve: sunoo’s list

thirteen: can you date my noona? [written + pictures]

fourteen: jungwon green flag

fifteen: oh wise yang jungwon

sixteen: jakeyn real?

seventeen: heartbreak anniversary 💔

eighteen: worst day ever [written]

nineteen: he’s telling a story 🤔

twenty: yn is drunk [written + pictures]

twenty-one: heeseung moved out

twenty-two: heeseung hyung come back😭😭

twenty-three: oh congrats

twenty-four: are you taking drugs🤨

twenty-five: submissive hoon?? [written]

twenty-six: threesome relationship

twenty-seven: apologies and food

twenty-eight: DO NOT ANSWER!

twenty-nine: the grinde never stops💪💪

thirty: the truth [written]

thirty-one: jungcat be nice

thirty-two: drunk actions are sober thoughts

thirty-three: the word ‘love’ is controversial

thirty-four: jungwon’s brother senses

thirty-five: we know jungwon, we know [written]

thirty-six: #jakehoon4lyfer

thirty-seven: so possay about it

thirty-eight: our little rat, maeum💗

thirty-nine: jay dilf agenda

fourty: never letting you go [written]

alternate ending: jake version | ?? version

special episodes

jay’s private account

ni-ki’s texts to the older ones – connected to episode 35

dilf jay thread by sim jaeyun

ask jam out casts!

a new segment where you can ask the jam out casts any questions!

feel free to message anything you’d like to ask them!

author asks | jam out cast

[sw33tassvgar]

(OH NO I LOST AN ASK IM SO SORRY but i remembered it omg)

My TF2 Headcanons

• i know its canon scout cant read but i just headcanon him dyslexic

• Says fuck alot

• probably dropped out of school

• worked at a fastfood restaurant before joining Mann Co.

• hes skinny and probably 27 (he just like me fr)

Soldier

• pretty sure he knows like 12 countries because he went to europe in ww1

• get hurt often when rocket jumping so he has to go to medic alot

• soldiers room has a big american flag on it

• cant hear alot because of rocket jumping and the explosions etc'

PYRO

• pyro spends alot of time with engineer

• that means engineer understands pyro the most ! They try talking together alot

• knits with demoman and make themselves a new plushie :D

• he likes pastel colors

• She bakes but sometimes it gets burnt and makes pyro sad sometimes

Demoman

• I feel like he knits yknow? He just makes random shit when he does it

• He knows a shit ton about his sticky bombs and talk about them with BLU Soldier sometimes

• him and BLU soldier talk alot and gossip about there team to one another >:)

• I think he gets really sad sometimes when he's drunk

Heavy

• Crochet makes and he scarfs alot !

• doesnt get cold alot because of he lived in a really cold environmen

• I feel like he drinks tea

• Cat person he loves cats

• him and medic talk in the medbay

• knows how to cook

Engineer

• speaks with pyro because he's the only one that can understand them

• Doesnt sleep often but takes naps because work

• Great friends with medic, demoman and heavy

• sometimes he gets hurt when making his stuff, he rarely gets hurt by that tho

• he drinks but not alot

Medic

• he had a not so good childhood and then he started getting into human anatomy to distract himself from that

• he also cant remeber all his birds name only like 3 or 5

• talks with engineer demoman and heavy

• hes good at art but its because he memorized anatomy

• tea liker and drinks it with heavy sometimes

• get really sad when one of his birds get hurt

• scout is almost always in the medbay because he gets hurt easily

• didnt know english alot but then had to learn it for the job

Sniper

• hes an outside person

• I definitely likes snakes and spiders

• knows a bit of cooking

• star gazer

• i feel like he would just take walks outside when its really early in the morning

• He listens to music

• good friends with scout and listens to him rambling

Spy

France is not real /j

• like medic didnt know alot of english but had to learn it for some jobs

• knows how to cook only french food

• l u n g c a n c e r 😧‼️

• spends ALOT of time in his smoking room

• Can slow dance

--------------------------------------------------

IM SORRY TO THE PERSON WHO ASKED THIS I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT ☹️

[froggy-seok]

which LiT ships are most likely to elope in vegas: a thread i definitely did not accidentally delete from my drafts last night.

aka: what happens in vegas stays in vegas until jjolee tells you to post the thread

(imported from twitter, originally posted October 26, 2022)

ships that i think are most likely to elope in vegas with an elvis impersonator officiating the wedding: dsoo (dongho x minsoo), hyuntae (hyunjin (ven) x taeseok), and youngseok (youngjoon x minseok)

dsoo: it's predebut, they're being stupid in vegas to celebrate the fact that they finally got the news that they're going to debut EVENTUALLY, so they get married wearing matching hawaiian button ups. dongho 100% still has the emo bangs when this happens.

hyuntae: idk man. they've got the vibes. if sa1nt went on a US tour and stopped in vegas for some reason, these two are absolutely getting married and minsung is the flower girl.

youngseok: ok i'm definitely biased bc i'm currently writing a fic focused on these two but like. i don't even KNOW how to explain it. i can just very clearly picture dae finding it hilarious that his 2 best friends outside of mayhem got married. with an elvis impersonator.

they'd do it for a bet: mindae (minsoo x daehyun), junjae (jun x jaewon) (lost a bet to nari), any pairing of marshmello, kyungyoung (kyunghun x youngjoon)

mindae: do i really need to say more. anyone even jokingly bets money that they won't get vegas married and they are chomping at the bit to prove that person wrong. absolute menaces (i say this affectionately. they probably give manager choi a headache but i love them)

junjae: jun made a bet with nari and lost. the rest is history.

marshmello: girls' night out gone marriage. i literally cannot decide who would be more likely to get married on a bet?? i feel like they're sort of an unstoppable force when they're together and having a good time.

kyungyoung: they are the same age. probably besties. hyuntae 100% used to torment them about being a couple or some shit. minsung bet them 1k that they wouldn't get married and send photos to hyuntae. kyunghun is not a coward so they got vegas married.

vegas married but only bc they are ELOPING (aka i kinda sorta ship these ones. a lot): daejae (daehyun x jaewon), dongsung (dongho x minsung) (I HAD TO IM SORRY), hyuntae again (hyunjin x taeseok)

daejae: listen if they're dating they are IN LOVE. POWER COUPLE OF THE YEAR. DO NOT SEPARATE. so yeah they'd elope in vegas.

dongsung: they'd be the couple that's secretly been together for a decade or some shit they're emotionally married already they probably have rings ready to go and they have no where else to get married.

hyuntae: either they are the best of friends or they're dating idk how else they would've lasted in sa1nt for so long otherwise. they kinda seem like little gremlins but like. there's something going on between them. let them get gay eloped for funsies.

ok i posted this early on accident. whoops. meant to schedule that for later. uhm :D it's 1:35 im going to bed now :D!!!! i'll add the next section later!!

ok time for more Vegas weddings. next ship catagory.

only if they're drunk: dsoo. yeah. (dongho x minsoo), any pairing out of dae, minseok, and minyoung

dsoo is pretty self explanatory. they're besties but not enough to get Vegas married just on a whim. they are drunk if it happens.

i think the trio is also pretty self explanatory? they're friends again but like. not enough to get married for fun. daeseok would be the flower boys at minyoung's wedding tho

they're best friends your honor: jahra (jaewon x ahra), hyuntae (hyunjin x taeseok), youngdae (youngjoon x daehyun)

jahra: listen. they're besties. they'd do it for fun and bc their moms would think it's cute

hyuntae: . this is the third time I'm mentioning them i think they're just cannonically married at this point

youngdae: HAVE YOU SEEN YOUNGJOONS PIN BOARD THEY ARE BESTIES MAYBE EVEN MORE. THEY'D GET MARRIED.

ok if there are any other ships you want me to give my ranking please let me know!!! i can't really think of any others but i am also very tired (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

[bbhyeoliskooks]

«❝ 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❞» - PT. TWO

Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?

➸ check part one out here!

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)

Genre: 335 cups of fluff and 3 cups of angst

Warnings: a bit suggestive maybe??? cursing, eating, cheesy cringe stuff hehe, ++ unedited so there may be a lot of mistakes !!

Song: I’ll Never Love This Way Again

(YUH OMG FINALLY I FINISHED THIS REQUEST IM SCREAMING OMG??? i’m so sorry that this took so long, i know a lot of people waited for it 😭😭 and for the anon who requested this bc there wasn’t a notif- keah accidentally deleted it 😭😭. ngl i would die for yeonjun in this. ANYWAY, i hope you enjoyyy~~ i rlly liked doing something like this and yes i have to mention the happiness it gave me at 1am when i finally finished it 😌💕)

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

As easy as it was to say compared to real life, Choi Yeonjun was a wreck. A horrible, horrible and you must’ve forget to say- horrible wreck! That is including the duration of time before and after the second time you left.

How he roused one morning to you no where in sight after a vicious night of going out was something he deeply regretted. He would do anything to go back to that day, of course. He wasn’t sure about how you were doing, but jeez did he want to see those bright glints in your eyes whenever you saw him again. To see you smiling like nothing was wrong or giggling when he finally made ticklish contact on those sensitive places or even how you’d frown before him due to his carelessness. His mind drew him back to the ungodly hour of 4am when you scolded him for the scar on his arm he didn’t seem to realize until later and the way you made sure nothing else on his body was hurt. Yeah anyone could tell that didn’t go very well considering he was a boy and you were a girl, but that wasn’t the point!

In simple terms, he missed you more than anyone he’s ever laid eyes upon and the plain truth was that. You weren’t easy to be shaken off his mind after that ordeal of getting you to himself for one, final night. It hurt him most to see the disgusted expression on your face as if you were staring straight at a pile of elephant poop on the ground, not wanting to do anything with it because it was useless and foul. He couldn’t possibly make it your fault too, which meant he shouldn’t have been surprised. Breaking your poor heart by insulting you and taking you for granted, everything was wrong with him for thinking this way!

Whether he liked it or not, his heart said differently about this matter.

Perhaps it was the way you looked that night- he could say- however, it was more than that. With your adoring, sparkling eyes that weren’t easy to miss and your stunning, contagious smile that caused ripples of happiness to fly across the room, he couldn’t blame anyone for falling in love with you. After all, he was a victim of it himself so there was no way he could’ve not in the end. All of those things were true especially, but taking in everything to account as well hanging out with you, your unique individual beauty meant nothing.

He just loved you for you. Loved? No, not loved. Loves. He still loves you for you, and he was a fool to realize it this late. He just lost the best thing in his life due to his stupidity; he knew fully well that you couldn’t ever bring yourself to talk to him face-to-face again if the two of you met again. Would you two even come to meet in the first place? That was the true question here. He and you both knew that due to your resistance and remorse for what happened last weekend that you would never permit yourself to see him. Like he said, he couldn’t blame you for that either.

And yet, why is he trying to convince himself that he’s the only one for you? Your every smile was originally because of him, but now... but now, you’d never let him hear that for one, last time. He couldn’t redo his mistakes of the past of hurting you even if he promised never to do that again. And judging this situation, destiny wouldn’t allow that to happen anyway. With all of your encounters, it seemed as if they all turned out the same way. Everything was ripped into shreds.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Wait, so you sLEPT WITH HIM?!” Soobin’s voice reached to a dangerous while the two of you paced around the hallways together, trying to quietly talk about last weekend until he so rudely screamed about your untrue administrations. You clasped your hand over his mouth in instinct, punching his shoulder as a warning to keep quiet or else. His body heaved with hearty chuckles while you screamed, telling him to keep his voice down so that you could truly tell him the whole story.

“Soobin! That’s not true; I wouldn’t do anything like that, ever!”

“Well, he’s your ex- and he’s hot, so why wouldn’t you sleep with him?!”

Now some of the students subtly shuffled around to eavesdrop on your conversation, and you groaned at the newfound attention. Just what were you thinking about telling him when sometimes he could contradict himself to be this loud?! It was steaming tea, yes, but no one else had to hear about it! You should’ve told him this stuff at lunch when the two of you were alone.

Swiftly pulling Soobin to the vacant hallway where thankfully no one else was walking, you made sure to keep your voice to a faint hush. You weren’t sure if he could hear you, but you couldn’t risk involving anyone else in this personal matter. Students passed by all around you in the other hallway, holding conversations and walking in groups which was a good sign you could actually speak normally since no one was paying attention anymore.

“So did you or did you not?” He mused, ruffling the top of your head. You pushed his hand away, rolling your eyes at his playfulness when the gravity of the situation needed to be comprehended instead.

“Soobin, I told you we never slept together in that sense last weekend. We were both drunk and shared the same bed! It doesn’t mean anything and we aren’t going to get back together,” you held your breath through those words as you watched the amused smile on his face turn into a pitiful, pouting lip. His adorable puppy dog eyes that were begging you not to get mad at him didn’t seem to work now, and you found yourself telling him off even if you didn’t mean to in the first place.

“You’re so stupid for thinking that, you know?! Yeonjun’s a jerk, I have no clue why I ever got with that bastard in the first place! God, if you never let us meet together then you know I would’ve been happy now. Just why did everything have to turn out this way?!”

The walls of your heart you tried so hard to buttress through your words and actions crumbled with every second you spoke, disintegrating into pure dust the moment your voice leveled to reach your anger. Your chest was trembling as you choked out the last few words, unable to say anything anymore as a lump appeared in your throat. You hated being weak in front of him the most because he’s seen you so many times like this before and he’d very clearly think of you as a crybaby.

He seemed to understand this, shooting you a gently smile as some small encouragement. It was that smile that urged you to snap out of your evil trance immediately. For saying all those rude things to him, it was contradictory since at that very moment you wanted to take everything back. The guilt ate you up in an instant once you took in his dumbfound yet soft expression, causing you to envelope him in a warm embrace as contrition. He never deserved this treatment when it wasn’t even his fault anyway.

“I... I’m sorry, Soobin. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. It’s just so hard on me now since I know I shouldn’t have done that with him last weekend. We didn’t do a lot, and yet I still want to say that I love him...? Even now I won’t allow myself to cry and be weak but,” your voice faltered as your body slightly shivered, “I can’t do it. I just can’t be strong anymore. It’s so hard.”

Soobin sighed, generously allowing you to lean on him like last time. You were so strong- you had always been so strong in front of him, and it hurt him to see that you were slowly breaking no matter how much you tried to stop it. He could see right through the so called smile you shot him this morning as soon as you saw him. He knew right then and there that something happened to you during the weekend and when he heard it was all about Yeonjun... he had to contain himself not to beat up his best friend or else the friendship he treasured dearly would crash, fall, and wouldn’t withstand.

However, the truth remained. Little by little, you were shattering due to Yeonjun’s actions and he could only watch helplessly as you flew freely to the ground. It was an understatement to say that he was starting to hate his best friend for doing this to you, but in the end he believed you. If you did it before, then you could do it again right? And you knew that Soobin was always right there for you no matter what.

Last month you gave it your all in order to move on. He truly admired that you kept running and running towards the future even if you felt that there was no end, a quality he secretly cherished of you. As a person, you were strong in your own way and Soobin was proud of you. He just didn’t know how to say it now without making the bright atmosphere droop. It was always like this whenever a problem with your relationship arose. He brought you closer to his arms.

“You’re not weak at all for crying, Y/N. I think you’ve been holding it for too long now. You’re always welcome to come to me, alright? I’ll save you from that stupid Yeonjun and make you happier than he ever has! You deserve someone much better. You and I both know this.”

He wiped your every tear which streamed against your cheek with his thumb gently, and somehow you finally smiled. Ardent, genuine, and sincere, your smile was enough to cause another one of his own towards you, a great deal of blinding happiness all around you. You were sure Soobin was waiting for this after a while, although it came out at a surprising time. You didn’t expect it either.

This was another feeling you couldn’t ever get enough of, for it reminded you of the time when Yeonjun asked you to be his... but comparing it to this wasn’t right at all.

No words were spoken between the two of you, but it really did mean a great deal of comfort to you. How could he offer up this ample amount of support towards you? You made a promise to yourself to make it up to him one day.

A few minutes later, you reluctantly pulled away from his sweet hug to check the time on your phone. You weren’t sure how long you’d been holding each other like this (and you really did enjoy it), but if you kept dawdling then you would miss every single afternoon class. Your eyes scanned through the upper numbers.

Crap. You already missed the first few minutes!

You scrambled to get yourself off him, pulling your bag over your shoulder in a haste. “Wait, I’ll tell you the details later!” You waved your hand for a flimsy goodbye, rushing to get every paper in your bags in check. It was a pathetic bye, that was for sure. You rushed out before Soobin could even mutter a bye, hoping to get there in good time so that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of everyone. Oh, well. You’ll see him later.

Your footsteps faded away little by little and yet another set rippled through his ears through little clacks on the spotless floor. He wondered if you were coming back to ask him something but before he could turn around, sweet words that were due to a familiar tone made his heart stop in place.

“Please, take care of her for me.”

...

Upon hearing that voice Soobin halted in his tracks, looking back at a pair of warm, brown eyes that met his own. By the looks of it, he heard everything you said. Not to mention that it was the second time the boy eavesdropped at that.

“Soobin, please? You can date her even if it hurts but just please... if I can’t look after her, then who else’ll take her to her favorite restaurant?”

The pleas did not matter to him all the more, if he was being honest. This game was something he didn’t want to be involved in but looks like fate had its plans. It was obvious now. He hated this and although he said you deserved better, it was clear that the two of you were destined to be together.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

The door clamorously creaked as soon as you entered, making you cringe at the sudden but minimal heads that turned towards you. You shyly offered up a smile, reorganizing the books in your hands to pass off some of the attention somewhere else. Some of the people there were doing their own things and focused on talking to each other to an extent. You sighed gratefully. Thankfully you could sit alone at a spot where no one would notice you at the top of the row.

After you wondered where the rest of the students were and the professor whom you searched for in every direction, you gave up with a relieving drop of your shoulders and decided to sit down. Glancing at the time, you muttered how stupid you were under your breath for reading the clock wrong. You were fortunately five minutes earlier, but looks like you have to wait now until the lesson starts.

Getting situated in your spot was an easy thing and you toyed with your phone when you heard a shuffling of clothes sitting next to you on the right. It wasn’t such a good time to be socializing right now since you felt like crap but if you were going to make new friends, you might as well do so now. After all, college was supposed to be a good experience minus all the endless assignments and projects to prepare for your future.

You managed to steal a look at the person who sat right next to you but became paralyzed in your spot when you realized who it was, whipping your head where you wouldn’t be able to get distracted by him. That dazzling, blue hair was unmistakable. And the perfect, rosy lips were too! How could you not be tainted when he chose to sit next to you?! Seeing as the latter was impossible when you heard his deep voice murmur the words ‘good morning,’ a bead of sweat collected at your forehead. He was never this bold before after you broke up, and you pondered if he wanted to be good friends again after what happened. The audacity was unbelievable.

You couldn’t understand why he’d choose to be beside you when there were many more other open spots in the room. He must’ve been mocking you, making fun of you after how weak you looked a few days before.

The question was though, why the hell was he sitting right there?! Right next to you?! You could feel the words becoming stuck in your throat as you choked out a good morning back, too anxious to say anything or else it’d initiate a conversation between the two of you. That was the least thing you wanted to do as of now, wasting all your energy on the time spent convincing yourself he’d make up some small talk. That time however never came, and you were left politely smiling at the one and only Choi Yeonjun when you randomly found him staring at you.

The professor finally arrived, lifting off a heavy burden on your chest when you could’ve been dreading the lesson instead. You should’ve left before as to not create any conflict, but anymore absences and your future would’ve been as good as dead. Although you could look at the bright side now! Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to talk to you or else he’d miss some important things which would in turn affect his grades. You threw a grateful smile towards the center of the cavernous room, becoming a little bit relaxed even if some part of you was still freaking out he was that close to you.

The class was a blur, pointless information echoing throughout the room you didn’t care to learn since you were dozing off. Your mind was too busy looking back at the events that went down last weekend, becoming more tired with every second that passed. It was hard to get your brain off that addicting stuff called overthinking every single time you caught Yeonjun staring at you with tender, soft eyes. Simultaneously, you were hoping no one would call you out for daydreaming of what could’ve been, so you hid behind a tall person’s blonde head, hoping not to be caught.

Sadly, you were brought back to the room when a chorus of sighs collected together to make a violin whimper of disappointment.

“You will be working with the person beside you on the right,” the professor declared, clearing their throat while most of the class groaned altogether. Wait so that means...

In an instant, everything seemed way too overheated in the room now. Were you the only one feeling hot or what?! You knew fully what was supposed to come next since you were the only two sitting on the top, the rest of the bottom being filled out by tons of people who were tuning in to the lesson.

Sometimes life doesn’t work the way we want it to. That itself was obvious. Otherwise you’d be somewhere else being happy instead of working with this jerk!

You couldn’t help the frustration of curses you thought in your head, glaring at the boy who was giggling cutely to himself.

“Oh, looks like you’re paired up with me! I can’t wait to work with you, Y/N~” The tone of his voice made your heart skip a beat, the all too familiar teasing getting to your head. As you expected, whatever he said would have an effect on you, instantly making you heat up at how true that statement was.

Smiling, you gulped, feeling too parched all of a sudden. God only knows how much you wanted to get out of there right away. You were dying not to embarrass yourself, collecting your books together as you slathered a polite tone to your voice. Somehow you got the words out despite making clear eye contact with him way too long for your own good. It felt so wrong to say he was a masterpiece but it felt so right to keep looking at him like this.

“Where should we work?” Yeonjun asked once more.

He leaned closer to you, leaning on his hand as he maintained an direct, intent gaze. Your lips formed into a straight line, hopelessly wishing he wouldn’t see how much of a mess you were in front of him. Then he licked his lips. That was the end of you! He and you both knew that it was meant to be flirtatious. Your ears burned at the sight. Well that was enough to be looking at his eyes now! You foolishly turned away.

“Hmm, how about we meet at the bakery everyday at five? Are you okay with that?” Yeonjun suggested, raising an eyebrow to comprehend your unsure expression. You nodded your head acceptingly, albeit a bit defeated. He shouldn’t have been expecting anything. You were fine with whatever place you could meet up by, but didn’t he know that you weren’t fine working with him?!

After the quiet and easily awkward atmosphere, you turned on your heel getting up from the exhausting spot. It was much too uncomfortable for you to plan out a schedule with him, and second you weren’t able to catch the directions with him chatting it up a bunch.

Of course you wanted to be mature about the situation, but it was impossible for you. If it was another person, then you would’ve been fine. You could ask around but that itself was scary too. Your heart was in a tugging predicament with you in between, and you weren’t sure what to choose. Seems like Yeonjun was your only choice now. It would’ve helped you move on but with him right there, it would be harder to really think about yourself for once. You shot him one more look, hoping it would be the last.

“Yeonjun, don’t think you’re fooling me with this flirting. You know I can’t work with you after what you said. I’m sorry, but find someone else who’ll be open to being your partner.” You opted to get up from your seat, trying to dash away as quickly and quietly as possible until he said something that made you paralyzed as you got up.

“Y/N, please wait!”

Suddenly the world stopped and in it, you could only see the two of you with Yeonjun clinging gently to you.

He grabbed your arm before you could move to another seat, holding on tightly just to make you stay. You winced at how warm it was compared to your shaking arm, avoiding his vulnerable eyes due to embarrassment. You didn’t know how you were supposed to do this project anyway when you couldn’t even look at him in the first place.

“I know, and I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have done whatever we did while we were drunk and bothered you like that. Just... can you work with me this once? I want you to get a good grade with me.”

Gradually, his words became inaudible at the end, as if too ashamed to say it out loud. It was an understatement to say what he said was surprising. Therefore you couldn’t help but gasp at how vulnerable he got when you tried to move away from him when you thought he would’ve let you go after what happened. It was clearly too much for you to see his adorable puppy dog eyes, glistening and sparkling with sincerity when you safely decided to look back at him, feeling weak in the knees with uncertainty of what to say.

And although you wanted to say no so badly, you spoke without thinking and murmured something only he could hear.

“Okay then... Let’s do well.”

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Before you knew it, five pm rolled by and you were face-to-face at the bakery where Yeonjun was waiting for you. At this point, you were reluctant to go through with this since you could easily say you hadn’t found anyone to do the project with. But knowing that the teacher was stubborn and hardheaded when they made plans like these, it would be impossible to convince him to let you work alone. Plus, you actually got ready instead of throwing your favorite hoodie this time! You couldn’t let all your extra effort and special preparing to go to waste just because it was Yeonjun.

And gosh, you just had to remind yourself it was Yeonjun again.

The advances were simple. You had brought all your heavy books relating to the subject, hoping they’d be able to help but now all they seemed to do was weigh you down from getting the door. The wind was heartless, sending icy gusts through your clothes as you heaved out a sigh. It would’ve been good if you just left now instead. But this would only make matters worse. You swiped your phone again, purposely ignoring the contact name of ‘Stupid Mean Jerk Jjuniebug.’ He hadn’t texted you yet saying he was there so you hesitated a tiny bit before reaching for the golden door handle and eventually going inside.

The warm smell of cookies, cakes, and a variety of baked breads welcomed your nose, making the corners of your lips turn up with satisfaction. Out of all the distractions in the world, the Boulangerie was such a perfect place to go to do anything, really. If it wasn’t for your stupid project, you’d probably relax and enjoy a cup of your favorite drink paired with one of the delights they had here! It sounded like flawless idea. Happily, you made a mental memorandum in your head to plan out a day with Soobin where the two of you could hang out and tell stories to each other. He would definitely enjoy this place because of all of the bread you could order.

Surprisingly, Yeonjun was there already and you assumed he was writing something important down due to the determined expression on his face. He furrowed an eyebrow, slightly biting is lip while you inched towards him. You couldn’t help the smile that arose on your cheeks because of how endearing he looked as he worked hard, holding tightly to the books in your arms when you finally came close to him.

He looked up from his little notes of hearts and bunnies he was doodling as soon as a pair of shoes made unpretentious clitter-clacks, eyes lighting up with admiration when he realized that it was you standing there.

“I ordered your favorite dessert while waiting for you. Do you still like it?”

The words got stuck in your throat. He got you something? He must’ve been thinking of your arrival too attentively otherwise there’s no way that was true, but gosh did Yeonjun prove you wrong in a second.

Glancing at the sweets before you paired with a dainty teacup of your favorite drink, a gasp left your lips that embodied awe since he still remembered what you liked to order whenever you came to the Boulangerie with him. The snow white lace of the table fabric created flashbacks in your mind and you tensed up in realization. You hadn’t come here in two months- the last time you were able to picture your last date with him. Although, that wasn’t the point at all.

You were not to be expecting anything after the two of you separated even if the two of you were exes. It was just in Yeonjun’s moral codes in life to be kind to anybody and especially you whenever he please just because it was normal to him. You adored how pure he was, but at the same time you couldn’t shake how he acted towards you almost two months ago. That hostile expression on his face- one you’d never seen before- couldn’t ever be erased from your memory no matter how much effort you put in it.

But the past was the past. No bad things could happen like that now, could it? It was all because the two of you broke up. You were exes.

And yet, you could smile freely like nothing of the sort happened towards the two of you. After all, it was the right thing to do wasn’t it? Yeonjun would’ve wanted you to do that too, you knew it deep inside despite desiring to deny it. To move on and not have any feelings of pent up frustration and anger towards each other. Joy swelled in your heart at how much maturity you were gaining because of heartbreak. Maybe the two of you could be friends. Maybe.

“Thank you so much for doing this even if you didn’t have to, Yeonjun. I’m surprised you even came since your friends are much more interesting than me. I’m glad that you did though.”

You decided to take a bite in the delicacy, immediately not regretting the dulcet decision as you relished in the simple sweetness that came with it. Honestly, you missed this wonderful, mouth watering taste so much! Just like what you remembered, you shut your eyes in pure content, not being able to take in the sight of the boy in front of you who chuckled to himself.

Yeonjun heaved a breath of amusement from his chest, cheek laying down on his hand again as his eyes showed nothing but the sincere feeling of endearment towards you. He shifted comfortably on his side, grabbing one of the crimson, bright strawberries from his plate as he bit onto the juicy tip of it.

“You know, you’re always cute when you smile like that,” he whispered, not caring whether or not you heard it- which you obviously did.

You puffed your cheeks out at this.

“Shut up...! We’re here for a project, remember? Not to... flirt, silly.”

The mischievous yet saccharine grin on his face made you flustered and you glanced away from him, pretending to look at the tray of enclosed desserts that you saw when you first entered the bakery. You couldn’t allow yourself to become distracted like this! Not to mention that looking at him straight through doesn’t seem to help either!

“Oh, but when I look at you I can’t seem to focus on anything else. I’m being serious here; I just really can’t seem to take my eyes off you.”

The slamming yet gentle sound of you slamming the spoon you were holding on the table gave everything away and his eyes turned into euphoric crescents that only signaled delight.

“Yeonjun, I said shut your trap. All these cheesy compliments and I’ll... we have to do our project, so please cooperate and let’s put our work together to actually do something good.” You pulled your books together in a pile, acting as if you were really doing something in order to distract him from teasing you. The raging beat of your heart begged to differ, so you hoped he wouldn’t hear it or else that would give him another reason to make you flustered.  

“As you wish, princess. We’ll work so well together that you’ll miss me once I drop you home!”

Princess...?

He’ll drop you home...?

You groaned in annoyance at the nickname and offer although you kind of enjoyed it, wanting to smack Yeonjun in the mouth for not listening to your request. He must’ve been deaf or something because the whole time he kept throwing coy phrases you’d never heard before or trying to whine about how much work it all was for the two of you.

You were only starting to understand how annoying he was whenever he got cranky and dozed off for thirty minutes, leaving you to search through all those books and gather information yourself which was luckily a lot of help. It was a nice silence for a while but once he got back to annoying you endlessly, you swore you could rip all your hair off from the frustration building up from inside of you.

How were you going to do a week of working with him when you couldn’t even look at him in the eye every time he made pouty, kissing lips? Or take him seriously whenever he called you a pet name for that matter? You wished future you the best luck, unfortunately not knowing what would arrive in the times to come.

...

“Hey, could you look at this for a second? I’m having trouble if I should or more exactly- how I should put this down when it makes no sense.”

You laughed at how clueless he was when it came to his favorite subject, shuffling right beside him to see what he was struggling with. It was too natural, too suspicious for the both of you not to know this. You contained the snickers of mock once you put it all together, silently calling him stupid in your head for not being able to jot down this simple effortless thing. You twisted your body towards the notes, enough for your shoulders to meet together.

Little did you know that Yeonjun only wanted you to come close to him, and it was more than suffice to say it worked out in his favor.

You were explaining everything to him but the only thing he could focus on was the little things about you. The bitty, endearing gestures of your hands while you connected two of the subjects, the way your chest heaved up and down when you took a tiny breath of air, and even how your lips opened and closed was enough for Yeonjun’s fluffy cheeks to heat up and bloom into a rosy red. The words droned off as it echoed between the two of you, easily becoming pointless since he wasn’t paying attention anyway.

A couple of seconds passed between the two of you when the bakery suddenly became silent, and he gripped the pencil he dropped earlier on the table as you shot him a shy smile. Yeonjun’s knuckles became white with every second his stare lingered on you. You were way too cute for your own good, and you didn’t even know it- so why was he surprised? He, too, was hoping you wouldn’t be able to notice the aggressive thumping in his chest.

“Yeonjun? You got all of that, right?” Your symphony-like voice snapped him from out of his trance.

“Okay, then I’ll put that down,” he breathed tiredly.” It looks like he was getting exhausted too, huh? You were about to say a few words of encouragement until he cut you off with his own.

“We’re almost done researching; just hang in there, alright? You’ve been doing so well, Y/N.”

The gentle, supporting words was enough to send ripples through your heart and you nodded your head, all the while checking through what you noted and what you forgot. You wanted to keep thinking about what he said and how it motivated you to keep going. You didn’t want to upset you and most definitely not him. However, the fatigue coating your eyes was too much and you slowly closed the heavy lids, head slowly turning to the side before you fell on something all too familiar.

A sudden yet light weight on his shoulder made him look up from what he was writing down, stunning him in his spot when he saw you had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He must’ve known that this much thinking wore you out after such a long while. A tender smile decorated his lips and he took in your every feature, hoping to draw out the face that made him feel alive.

“She’s so cute...” He grabbed his jacket from the side he’d taken off earlier, laying it gently upon you with his other hand as if it was something he’d done since the beginning of time. You nuzzled your cheek against his way too comfortable shoulder, becoming more snug with each minute that passed by. He couldn’t help the skip in his heartbeat when you muttered his favorite nickname in your sleep, this ‘Jjuniebug’ being much more different compared to the past because he knew you were dreaming of him.

When such a sight like this was to be treasured by anyone, he decided he didn’t want to work anymore. Like the gentleman he was, he gathered your books together, pushing your plate to the side before laying his head against yours. He intertwined your hands with his, grinning gently from ear to ear at the warmness he felt from inside.

He stole one more glance at you, fingers delicately dancing from your cheekbone all the way to your chin, tracing your jaw as gingerly as he could. This was what he was hoping for after such a long time of not receiving it. That itself was rightfully so, yet having you near meant the world and so much more to him.

Then he glanced out the window where rain was drizzling, creating a dreading gray atmosphere which was nothing but chaos. It could’ve been something that alerted him on such a dreary day, making him anxious at how he was going to get home in a mess. But to him, he wouldn’t trade this peaceful present. Always, he wanted to be close to you like this. It couldn’t have been too much to ask, honestly.

“Tell me,” he said to no one in particular, “how can you make a moment last forever?”

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Tuesday passed as quickly as Monday did and you swiftly got prepared for five pm later. You were bouncing with excitement, ready to see the boy who’d been waiting for you over at the library, a place you decided together when he texted you during lunch break. To be true to yourself, you couldn’t wait to work with him. All day you were waiting for the horrid, slow hours to pass of lectures and countless assignments online, lingering silently through the minutes that seemed to go by forever in hopes that everything would go faster. The relief you felt when you were dismissed for the day and the joy that swelled in your heart when you went home, preparing yourself as best you could.

You didn’t understand why you were buzzing with energy over meeting someone like this, for wasn’t it true the two of you were exes? Two months ago you broke up; that was quite obvious. It didn’t help that and that number one: he was a jerk after a while of dating you, and number two: he was probably playing with your heart if you decided to be smart. But then again you always rewarded that guilty pleasure by saying the past was the past and he bought you your favorite delicacy. He may have hurt you before and because of that, you promised yourself you wouldn’t ever date him ever again.

With that thought in mind you threw your favorite outfit on that you planned just the night before, looking in the mirror twice just to make sure you looked okay. Deep down you knew it was a lie to say you weren’t doing these special things for him, trying to convince yourself that in doing so- this dressing up would do your ego a favor. Yeonjun didn’t have to see this, not at all! It was all because you wanted to look decent. Just that.

So sneakily, you crept out of the house while slipping your shoes on since nobody would notice you were gone. You checked your phone at least twice before opening the door, clearly not ready for the surprising sight your eyes landed upon as soon as you left home.

In front of you was the boy who had taken your mind captive all day, smiling from ear to ear as his fingers combed gently through his blue hair.

You gasped at how he actually came to your house after teasing yesterday that he would, but you never knew he’d carry out his plan. He would keep poking your cheek while saying something under his breath like how he’d visit you one day to pick you up. He would never do that, right? Well no, you were extremely wrong and just a day after your project date went well.

Nonetheless, you couldn’t stop the touched grin on your face to know he was waiting for you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he shyly giggled and that itself made your heart skip a beat, “let’s walk to the library together today, alright? Wait, let me take your books, please!”

Even with your protests and several no’s, he still took your books and placed it snugly against his left arm, teasing about how light they were together. You glared at him for a second before taking a few steps when he suddenly grabbed your hand.

You turned around, eyes wide in a daze.

“What is it?”

An overwhelming heat rose up to your cheeks and ears, making you feel hot in the face as you realized he was still holding on.

“If it isn’t too much to ask, can I hold your hand today? I really miss the warm feeling you gave me last summer.”

He held his hand out expectantly, waiting for you to take it on your own accord. You easily obliged- albeit a bit hesitantly- putting your hand against his and allowing him to guide you to wherever- whenever he wanted. The way his eyes lit up as he lead you to the place was precious, making you feel soft with endearment at how gentle he treated you.

Now this? This was bad. So, so bad.

On the day you left Yeonjun’s house in tears, you weren’t expecting any of this to happen. You weren’t sure how you could trust him so easily after everything he’s done- maybe it was the way you felt his sincerity in every smile he sent you or how tenderly he had grabbed your hand just now, but the happiness bottling up inside you did not lie. You felt pure jubilation whenever you saw him.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was Wednesday.

Wednesday, the middle of the school days where you desperately wanted to claw your eyes out from how tedious everything was. Wednesday, a day where nothing significant happened but nothing too horrible happened either. Wednesday, a reminder that you only had two days left- counting today and Thursday- to work with Yeonjun. You hated the bitter taste of having to really say goodbye, but the future had to be on the brighter side then. After this, you swore you wouldn’t ever see him and his damn handsome face for another accidental time.

Just about reaching four in the afternoon, you decided to go with Soobin over to the Boulangerie where you’d been promising yourself to take him since Monday. It was luck on your side today that you actually went out for some fresh air, carrying out some of the awaiting plans you had on your checklist. Sometimes it was nice to have a breather in the middle of the week when everything else was distracting.

It started off as usual, and you realized you hadn’t seen him since that very day of hearing Yeonjun’s offer to be your partner. To be quite honest, you didn’t really think about telling him since it shouldn’t be that important, but the boy knew it was important just by from the hesitance in your expressions. His fingers placed the glass filled with chocolate milk on the table gently and curiously prodded.

“Y/N? You’ve been acting strange lately; is everything okay?”

You glanced up from the china plate, eyes widening with surprise. You weren’t sure what he was talking about. It couldn’t have been anything important, could it? Or were you being so obvious about your giant, giant problem?

“Yeah, everything is fine, Bin! Trust me, there isn’t anything going wrong but I guess you could say that... from your perspective.”

You made sure to look at the way he reacted and seeing how his head titled with wonder, you chose to give it a try.

“Well... I should’ve called you about this but I’m working with Yeonjun for a project. We have to turn it in by Friday, but we’ve been doing stuff on it since Monday. It doesn’t mean anything though, and we’re supposed to meet up at the park (Moonlight) today.” You intentionally left out the fact he asked you and those sweet moments since you were afraid of his reaction.

You knew he was one to be respectful and kind no matter the person, although because of all this tugging back and forth between his best friends- you couldn’t blame him for wanting to sock either one of you for being so stupid. And stupid were you and Yeonjun for not being able to get enough of each other, at least that’s how you viewed it. Soobin wouldn’t dare to hurt either one of you since the two of you were best friends; physically wouldn’t cut it. You hoped he would just remain patient like he’d always have- one thing you were grateful for, obviously, instead of freaking out at the recent moments you’ve experienced.

That being said, the look on Soobin’s face was absolutely priceless once you told him about your predicament.

“You two? On a project? TOGETHER?!”

Glumly you nodded your head, expecting him to say something but his mouth was filled with shock to the brim that he couldn’t even bring himself to say anything.

“Yup, that’s true. You didn’t know about it?” To say the least, you were surprised he didn’t know about it since Yeonjun was one to trust him about everything. Little things like this would count, yes, and you could very vividly remember how he blabbed to Soobin when you first started dating about how to keep a girl on her period happy.

In response, he shook his head, hand still glued covering his mouth. Your lips slightly turned upwards at his melodramatic feedback.

“No, he didn’t tell me anything at all about it! Why are you guys keeping secrets from me?”

Ouch, that stung. But at the same time, what were you expecting?

“That’s a surprise. I thought he couldn’t keep his mouth--”

The deafening, shuffling sound of the store bell rang throughout your ears, causing you to shudder at the intermittent sound. This was a popular Boulangerie so you didn’t need to be surprised whenever a new customer came in, but it stunned you at the worst times. You shrugged at Soobin’s suddenly ghost white reaction, thinking he was just kidding with you again and went back to the cup of a refreshing drink. Honestly, you couldn’t care less about it unless it was someone you knew.

You lifted the cup to pass through your lips until the familiar sight of messy radiant, blue hair caught the peripheral vision of your eye.

It had to be him. It couldn’t be anyone else.

“Y-Yeonjun...?”

As your heart dropped to your stomach, your voice broke out gently, making you the only person to hear it muffled with both distress and disbelief. There was no possible way you were witnessing what was happening in front of you. You didn’t want to believe it, squinting your eyes over and over again just to get a good look. It was still him no matter what you did, no matter what you changed.

Somehow, he didn’t notice you.

He sat down at a table, sending a sugary smile towards an alluring girl who sent him the same one back. Your back became rigid at the too close proximity of their faces. They chatted for a little bit about anything that could cross their minds, obviously flirting with the stares sent back and forth and back again until it turned into a full discussion- both of them laughing their hearts out. Happiness from the ideal ‘couple’ (as anyone could’ve mistaken them) spread around the Boulangerie contagiously, making everyone awe at the sight of them fully enjoying themselves. But you? You? Your heart shattered piece by piece while watching this play out.

Too many questions flooded in your mind at once as well as too many insecurities, paralyzing you in your spot as you couldn’t find the correct way to breathe again. It was getting too hard to find the air in, you realized. Soobin called your name out many times- to get you to listen, to get you out of your stupid trance, to get you to do anything else in the world but look because it’d hurt you just as much as it did for him!

To this, you were only sitting still, staring and staring like a dormant painting hanging in a museum just to find out that you wouldn’t ever be able to change anything, but only see the people in front of you. You didn’t want to look at the face of pain in front of you but... if you looked away then something else might happen.

You cradled yourself in your arms, trying to stop the icy cold breeze that whirled pass your rips and over to the tips of your toes. It didn’t make sense to you. Why even bother putting effort into winning him back? You wouldn’t be able to be as good enough. You shouldn’t have even tried in the first place.

You gulped down those insecurities again, trying to calm your shaking hands.

It wasn’t possible to be that perfect... not at all. She was such a stunning girl, the epitome of everything you weren’t and what you didn’t have. She had such sparkling eyes, such a gorgeous smile, and not to mention an impeccable complexion that had every single girl in the world jealous. Everything about her was simply perfect and that drowned your own specialties into the deepest ocean called hatred.

Once again you glanced at Yeonjun who seemed to be having fun with the deep chuckles and smiles he was freely giving up. Oh, how bad you wanted it to be you but this reminder was one that gave you a wake up call. You never really had a chance in the first place.

He then turned his head a little to the side, ultimately being able to see you sitting next to Soobin just like you had planned. His honeyed brown eyes changed from smug into something unreadable you couldn’t put your finger on before changing in a split second to look back at the girl.

The decision dawned on you, and you clenched your fists until you felt flashing, white pain run through your fingers.

He didn’t even care.

You were stupid enough to believe he actually liked you back again. You were stupid enough to think that with all these sweet interactions and words, he was warming up to you for another countless time. You were stupid to think he was being truthful that drunken night, saying he needed you clearly as much as you needed him. Finally, you were stupid enough to think he loved you. Now the proof was smack dab in your face, blinding you from your goal of hating him, and you were such a fool to be thinking he would really be yours after such a long while.

The glossy tears gathered in your eyes, angry, frustrated but pointless words with no explanation becoming more stuck in your throat when you glanced once more at the sight across from you. Time passed by through the regal clock, ringing in an ear and out the other. One way or another, you needed to get out of there and you needed it to be now.

You hastily slung your bag filled with papers over your shoulders, making sure you hid the flowing tears from everyone’s sight. Just one turn and he’d probably see you so pitiful at the wrong time. You certainly didn’t want to look pathetic, especially not in front of Yeonjun, whom you still loved with all your heart.

In a dash, you aggressively swiped the entrance of the door handle and into the day where you just wanted to disappear. Bell ringing haphazardly behind you, you weren’t able to perceive you were out of the bakery until another customer ignored your everblooming sadness, struggling behind you to get the door. Tears soon fell on the ground after holding them in for too long, signaling your vulnerability as you crouched down behind the bakery to let everything keeping your heart captive out. This time, for real, you really weren’t going to see him again even if it meant your grades being obliterated.

You hated him. You hated him so much for what he did back there.

And yet here you were, running away from your problems again.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Y/N?”

It was a mistake. It was all a mistake. You shouldn’t have pressed accept without looking at the contact name. You were just so stupid that it was funny. Just another one of the reasons why he wouldn’t ever want to date you again. How could you blame him for breaking up with you?

“Y/N, you there?”

He was seeing another girl, you should’ve known. Why didn’t you know? Why did you have to be such a fool to be used in the first place? And why the hell were you sad about it when you could be using this opportunity to be getting over him?!

“Y/N, you’re not responding and I’m getting worried. Is there something I can do? Please...?”

You were just exes. Exes, for crying out loud! Exes. That’s all.

“Y/N, if you’re there just-”

“yeah, I’m right here,” you murmured quietly, caring any less that he might have not heard you in the end. If he was able to really see how you accidentally looked at him earlier, then surely he would’ve known how the world crashed on your shoulders just by looking at you. Oh, but it was funny wasn’t it? It didn’t matter anyway. After all, he wouldn’t give a damn right? Not what he did back there he wouldn’t.

Because of that, you realized that this conversation with him was not needed. Whether it was because of the project or if it was for a favor, you wouldn’t be able to do it without looking weak in his eyes. Your finger hovered over the red button, tempted to press hang up until again, his act of using a concerned voice tugged painfully on your heart strings.

“Wait, are you okay? Do you need me to be there? Something’s wrong, I know you’re not okay,” he tried for another time, breathing through the call tiredly as if he was oblivious to what went on earlier. The hate for him smoldered in your chest, and your fingers tightened around the phone so arduously that they turned white, shaking hysterically.

“No, I...” you felt your voice break, and you covered the change in pitch by clearing your throat. With the lump so gigantic that you couldn’t even breathe, it hurt to tell him a lie, much less speak at that moment. You put on a tone to make it more believable. “Everything’s fine. Just busy right now.”

“You’re lying,” he whispered so softly into the receiver you were wondering yourself if you had heard him in the first place. You forced yourself to laugh at his statement, but it came naturally, knowing it was all too true.

“I’m not lying, I promise! I just took a nap, that’s all. No need to be so worked up over me.” You figured that teasing him would be the best way to cover up your sorrow, giggling alongside him because you were so bad at lying. Nonetheless, you hoped he would take this approach, waiting silently on the floor for his best answer.

On the other side he hummed hesitantly, mumbling a few words that you couldn’t quite comprehend because you knew he didn’t want to hear them. You barely noticed you were in the corner holding yourself, rocking back and forth as the anticipation of just hanging up crept up on you.

Before you could start, Yeonjun grumbled in concern.

“Well... okay then. But if you really want to convince me you’re fine then you’ll keep your promise and meet at Moonlight today. We still have a lot to do, so let’s meet up at the usual time. You’ll be there, right?”

“Um... I...”

What else could you say? It would be rude to decline and you weren’t in the mood to lie after all that. Well, he didn’t buy it all but at least he got off the topic. You were thankful to him for not budging, although this had to be one of the worst things he could ever suggest. Not only about how you feel in the end but about the project too. As far as you were concerned, you only a little left so you were able to work separately anyway. He didn’t have to go so far to do things his way, but this would show you he didn’t need you at all.

You spoke on impulse hastily after the long, deafening silence.

“Yeah, okay. S-see you then.”

Abruptly, you hung up before the tears could start again. Not even letting him throw in a sincere goodbye to your predicament.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Just like what you remembered, Moonlight was still a breathtaking place where the golden sun shone during the day and the moon peeked out from the dim curtains of nighttime. You sighed, staring longingly at the beautiful scenery before you and sat down under one of the trees. It’d been so long since you chose to come here, especially by yourself this time. There were happy memories that came along with this place and you didn’t want to think about the bad ones, of course. However everywhere you looked, it would only remind you of him and that was the least thing you wanted to have at the back of your mind right now.

Checking the time, you made sure you didn’t arrive too early or too late. It was a few minutes after five and true to your word, you actually came. You were surprised at yourself for showing up voluntarily with your mind in such a bad condition, acting as if you were okay just for a stupid project. If you’d done this earlier, you would’ve definitely said no. Perhaps it was the way he was worried about you- although, you thought it was fishy- that you wanted to come. Maybe then you would’ve gotten the attention you wanted after all this time, with this being the final time you’ll see him.

Eventually, you saw the familiar blue haired boy arrive just a quarter after your planned time. He was panting heavily and you swore you almost felt bad for him until the image of him catching eyes with you from earlier rearranged your thought process by miles. You stood up expectantly as he ran over to you, planting his hands on his knees in order to regain breath.

“So sorry for being late, Y/N,” he choked out restlessly, taking your hands into his as an apology. He held them tightly in place, squeezing in an attempt to excuse himself for why he was late. Instantly you gasped at the contact, slowly pulling away so that he wouldn’t realize that you more or less hated his affection. At times when you’d be melting at this, you failed to realize that your suspicions were true and he was playing you behind your back.

A tight lipped smile that screamed passive-aggressiveness became of your lips and you were eager to take a few steps away from him, shuffling to get under the spot you sat earlier. You backed away a little bit but weren’t able to get far because your shoes slipped from something shaped like a square underneath you. The breath was knocked off your lungs as you fell towards the ground and you plunged back, waiting to hit the ground. That is, until someone caught you by the waist.

You opened your eyes after a few seconds of waiting and as soon as you did... you felt all the blood rush up into your face.

“Y-Yeonjun...”

You weren’t expecting anything like this. Nothing sweet like this at all! Said boy was intently gazing at you, holding you by the waist as you were too shocked to say or hell- even do anything with him this close. Your head tilted away to the side this time, trying to think of anything else that would stop the intermittent pace of your heart beats. Gossiping with Soobin about what happened just now, the way you fell at school a few years earlier and embarrassed yourself and how he helped you up out of everyone else right after, the first moment you laid eyes on him and met the blue haired boy just like that... But no, all you could think of was him, him, and only him!

He seemed to be getting a kick out of this, teasing you with an adorable smile that had you awestruck.

“Were you scared...? Don’t worry about it anymore; I’ll always be here to catch you when you fall, I promise.”

It was then that he started to lean in after chuckling at your shyness, bringing your face closer to his as his eyes ran across yours. Your breath quickened just by looking back at him turn towards you- his gorgeous eyelashes that you felt the need to count each, his nose that was sculpted by the angels, his cherry blossom pink lips you so desperately needed- memorizing every valley on his face as you had done earlier when the two of you dated. Oh wait, dated...?

In a moment, you flung yourself off him. What were you doing with him?! Whatever this was and whatever he was doing- it wasn’t right! It just wasn’t right... It wasn’t right when he was choosing to see someone else, and that girl back there no matter how much you couldn’t help but despise her- did not deserve it. It wasn’t right.

Your legs felt like jelly, unable to stand by yourself as you carried out an attempt to get away from him. It didn’t seem so long ago that you couldn’t get enough of him but now you were itching to be left alone. You wanted to deal with this yourself, not reignite the fire of the hopes that he would return back. He lost that chance and you lost the chance of loving him again- even if yes, you still did love him. It was enough for you anyway- the love he gave you before only serving as a unreachable memory. You realized you needed to relinquish him.

Immediately you pushed him off you, watching the sweet expression on his face bend into something broken. The distance between you became even farther and farther with every breath your chest heaved. You gulped.

“I’m fine. Let’s just get to work so we can finish this,” you deadpanned, bringing your books that used to be laying dormant on the green grassland against your chest, moving under the tree where he broke up with you. This way you would be able to remind yourself that it wasn’t meant to be.

Surprised by your ill nature, Yeonjun nodded carefully, deciding to ponder in his head what was making you act this way instead of asking more questions. There was obviously something wrong, but he didn’t want to bother you more. To him he was unable to think of what he had done wrong and certainly hated the tense atmosphere when you refused to touch him, much less look at him. He just went along with it unknowingly like a fool that it was because of him the whole time.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was too hard to concentrate.

Your eyes searched despondently over the materials over and over and over again to write down something- anything that could possibly benefit the project, but it didn’t help at all that your mind was still on the boy sitting in front of you. Like a mantra, the memories of him smiling with that flawless girl kept replaying in your head as many more times as you bit by bit became insane with wrenching love.

Again, you couldn’t help but steal another glance at him before quickly ducking back down so he wouldn’t be able to catch you staring. He looked so peaceful while retracing his steps in the books, laying on his hand as a stand for his cheek. You hated how he could act so fine while you were left with nothing but hate towards him. Could you even call it hate anyway? It wasn’t true at all.

Yeonjun’s soothing voice snapped you out from your daze of pity, but it did the least to heal you and your pathetic attitude.

“Hey, do you think we could rest a second? I might fall asleep here if we have to keep reading about this nonsense stuff.”

You didn’t look up from your book, allowing him easy access to rest on your shoulder as silently as he could. His heart leaped with joy in his chest, but there was no chance he’d ever say it out loud. He graciously laid his head down upon it, becoming enamoured with your scent as he reached out to touch your hand. This need of affection easily leveled the desire which screamed out he needed you, but he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get an opportunity to be yours again.

You, on the other hand, was dying to tell him you loved him- but it wasn’t right when he simply had the same love as you for another girl.

But at the same time, you wanted to be strong. You had to be strong in order to convince him you were doing fine without him even if the truth was far from that. You had to put on a mask to hide the pain you were going through just because of him and his stupid, contagious smile that makes you grin every time you see it. You had to be strong, otherwise you’d never fool him that you needed him more than anything or anybody you’ve ever wanted. You had to be strong... but why were all your actions simply betrayed you no matter what you did?

“Get off me.”

Your shoulders started to shake aimlessly, shuddering when you felt his head bury more into the crook of your skin. He must’ve not heard anything, and you clenched your jaw until it twitched with pain.

“I said, get off me!”

As hard as you could, you pushed him off you- enough that you were just inches apart from him. It didn’t compare to the distance between you that you came to note before.

The tears were hot against your cheeks and you collapsed into your shaking hands, unable to hold it in anymore. In all your life, you’ve never felt so humiliated before just because a boy lied to you willingly. You felt pathetic.

To say the least, Yeonjun was taken aback, his eyes wide with shock as he hopelessly reached out his hand to you. All the love you bore just for him crashed into waves upon your chest, and you slapped his fingers away harshly before he could even say something.

Miserably you hid your face from him, not allowing him to see such a mess that he caused by his own hands.

“Who even are you? Are you the Choi Yeonjun who broke up with me or are you someone else?! I don’t understand how you can act like this after everything that happened... tell me, are you just playing with me or something?”

“Y/N, that’s not what I meant to do...” he tried tiredly, scooting closer to no avail as you turned your back away from him.

You laughed at his words, still not being able to look at him straight in the eye.

“Not what you meant to do? You’re telling me that it’s not what you meant to do?! Then who- who was she? Because it seemed to me that you were happier with her than you could’ve ever been with me!”

The silence that broke you apart was too deafening as you caught another look at him.

“Y/N, that’s not true... just listen, please,” Yeonjun begged, gazing at you desperately with unreadable but melancholy expression that had you on edge. He knew that you wouldn’t stay if he physically bound you in his embrace, but he had no clue what to do or what to say. He just wanted- no, needed you to really live.

Your heart broke all the more at the words he tried to pick up in order to explain- which you were sure he could hear even if he seemed very far. Easily you trashed his attempt away, getting up from your spot since you didn’t want to hear anything- anymore lies that would hurt the person you tried so hard to protect and shield away from the inevitable demise of love... that was you.

Yeonjun hurriedly got up along with you, leaving the pile of your books abandoned on the floor as he rushed out to match your pace. He ran with all his might to catch up with you but every time he reached your side- you would push him away like earlier and he didn’t have time to find his breath.

“Yeonjun, leave her alone. Haven’t you done enough, already?”

Seconds later upon hearing another voice, you rushed to someone else’s side, hoping that he would be able to protect you from the danger. It was pitiful with you standing right behind him as if that would help, but it did more than what you could ever be grateful for.

Yeonjun tensed up at his spot, stunned to see Soobin when he could’ve sworn nobody else was at Moonlight. In his mind, he could see the two of you right there apart from everything else- the two friends that looked so good together... it had to be much better than him after what he’d done. He came to a thought, letting his guard down while words of Soobin asking too many questions towards you occupied his head.

“I knew it. I knew you two were dating. I-I should’ve known,” he mumbled under his breath, his morals paralyzing him in place as he dropped his gaze towards at the ground instead.

Somehow Soobin heard this muttering and smugly smirked at this silly situation, taking a fresh opportunity that could probably boost destiny’s way before hiding it with a deep frown. He pulled you flush against his chest, holding you when you surprisingly really needed it from someone else.

“You finally figured this out? Leave us alone; you lost your chance the minute you broke up with her, pal.”

As Soobin dragged you along, you took one last look towards Yeonjun and gasped when you saw along with yours- two longing eyes flowing with tears that were nothing short of love. You wanted to reach out to help him not to cry like that even if he hurt you, but it would never work out and he’d leave you just like he’d done before. This only showed that you weren’t meant to be, never in a million years.  

And with that you left with the help of Soobin, leaving Yeonjun alone at Moonlight. Time passed to the point where he gazed upon the stars- wishing that you would come back because he wanted to say he still loved you- by himself.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was Thursday, the final day where the two of you would ultimately finish this project. The death of having an obligation which ripped your heart out, for better or for worse. The demise of whatever love you shared. The end of seeing him because you really wanted- no, you needed to. Everything was over in a blink of an eye and you were left feeling bittersweet about the situation... more bitter compared to sweet because you wanted more time with him. You knew deep down inside it wasn’t too much to ask, but... ending this would be for the better. It must be.

You were on your usual pathway home from the library after trying to bribe the librarian to excuse you from losing your books (when you actually accidentally left it there with him) while along the way thinking about what to do to make a grand finish for the project. Since the two of you worked on it a lot for a few hours before you exploded on him- something you weren’t sorry for in the least bit because it got your feelings out- it was safe to say that he wouldn’t bother you about it anymore. He finished his side, you were assuming, so he didn’t have to see you for the time being unless he ever decided to talk it out with you. Other than the fact that you totally hurt him back there, it honestly served you a great victory on a silver platter as you waited for the dragged out day to be over.

It was petty, of course it was! But after what he did back there at the Boulangerie while not to mention, make eye contact with you- sweet revenge had to be one of the best tastes a connoisseur could ever call upon.

And the project? Oh yeah, that’s right. It was a good thing that it was the final day so you wouldn’t have to act civil with him, for better or for worse.

After a few more blocks finally, you made it home, causing you to sigh out in relief. Hurriedly you grabbed your keys from your purse, fumbling with several of them to find the one that fit perfectly. The familiar touch never came though, and you groaned loudly, cursing yourself in your head for forgetting it in the library. It was when you set it down next to the book you were reading before you confronted the librarian- poor old woman- and somehow, you forgot to pick it up the second you got up.

Great, now this.

You opted to stare at the horizon in front of you, letting the breeze freely cool down your body. The sight was nothing less than pretty. It was a windy, golden sunny day outside but you didn’t want anything to do with it. All day you were planning to mope around the house and watch your favorite shows, procrastinating ‘til the last minute until the due date of every assignment arrived. They hit differently whenever you grabbed a bag of chips downstairs to finish them along with the homework, and you giggled at every moment that flashed in your head.

There was nothing else better to do but call Soobin, right? Although you didn’t want to bother him because these months have definitely been annoying for him whether he said it or not.

Defeated, you then stared down into the white porch as if it was at fault, feeling fear rise up your throat. What were you going to do? There was no one else you had given the key to, except...

“Y/N? Can we talk?”

Oh, no. Oh, no... Oh no no no!

When you heard that voice you were instantly glued to that spot, feet affixed on the porch as your heart beat too fast for its own good. Your mind must’ve been hallucinating and playing tricks on you; clearly you weren’t ready to see him yet!

Swiftly you moved your head to the side, eyes widening with appall to see that he was actually right there. Expression nothing less than sorrow, hair messed up and fluffy right in front of his eyes, cherry blossom lips curved into a trembling frown: it was Yeonjun, alright, but yet it was someone you couldn’t recognize due to the complete change of attitude in him. He was tightly holding onto your books but seemingly refusing to hand them over as if that would do anything better and increase the need for conversation. Unlike his stiff posture, his eyes held firm intent though, and you quivered at the determination sewn in them.

“Do you need anything?”

Instead of acting childish like you played out in your head, you simply responded it a curt voice because it was better than saying nothing and benefiting the sworn silence. More than anything you wanted to get out of there and leave the awkward tension, but there was nothing else you could possibly do without embarrassing yourself due to the fact you lost your keys.

“I... I...” This time, he avoided your eyes, words caught in his throat as he couldn’t find the exact thing to say. It wouldn’t make things any better, you realized. It just wasn’t meant to be.

You pursed your lips, locking them into a line. Whatever he had to say- it didn’t matter. Plus, there was another thing. As your eyes were already tearing up, it would be hard to stay for long to listen to his words. There was no telling what you’d say if tears automatically streamed down your cheeks.

“If you don’t have anything to say, then I’ll l-leave. We can just work on the project separa-”

Clack!

Clack!

Clack!

Before you could even stay true to your words, Yeonjun took slow steps towards you that had you walking backwards... without you looking.

Soon enough your back hit the door, and you gasped at the close proximity between the two of you now as he leaned in. His hands reached out to cage you in between his arms, tilting his head to the side to study your reaction. The soft blue hair brushed against the top of your head- showing how dangerously close he was. His breath fanned across your lips and his heavenly cologne infiltrated your sense of smell. If he decided to torture you even more, then you’d be able to touch noses from how near he was.

Look, you weren’t sure how to describe it at that moment other than- he was pinning you to the damn wall?! Suddenly you felt all the blood rush in your face, and it was then that you couldn’t make eye contact with him anymore- especially because he’d see how embarrassed you were! He didn’t have to be that close!

“yes, I need something. Or more specifically, you.”

His voice was much more huskier than you remembered it to be, and his eyes fell upon yours, begging for you to look back if not for your anxiety that he was this close. You immediately shut your eyes, heart beating erratically in your chest even if you tried to stop it by focusing on something else. But Yeonjun... how could you not think of anything else but him?! He was nothing short of breathtaking but seeing him this close and personal... it didn’t do good things for your heart!

“M-me?”

It was obvious that the boy was amused even if he felt guilty about the problem, making a quick exhale through his nose to show entertainment. His chuckle that came heartily through his chest caused your ears to heat up with shame since it showed how weak you were- just for him.

“Yes you, you silly baby,” he cooed endearingly, “who else could it be?”

“You’re one to be calling me silly! Don’t pretend like you were the one the other day who asked if frogs have blood!”

In a split second, his face morphed into something nothing less than serious and his left arm dropped to his side. You couldn’t help but wonder at the duality he managed to have when the gravity of the situation hit him.

“I miss things like this. I miss it so much. I miss joking around with you and chasing you around the house just to tickle you. I miss how attached you were because little did you know, I was just as much attached to you as you were to me.

“I miss the sweet look you give me every time I ask you out on a date. I miss having you right beside me whenever we studied together because you were the only person who cheered me on even when it was two in the morning. I miss giving you random kisses out of nowhere because I can’t get enough of you and that adorable, surprised face whenever I did so.

“I miss slipping my hand into yours whenever we would walk home together, letting you cling onto me so that I could protect you from all dangers. I miss giving you victory every argument we had because I hate making you cry. I miss cuddling you on the couch as we watched our favorite shows together whenever we were too lazy to get up and how I couldn’t stop smiling every time you laughed.

“I miss kissing the top of your forehead and you never knew because you were asleep. I miss waking up with you by my side and seeing something so gorgeous it would stay in my head all day even if I studied the same materials over and over again. I miss looking up at the stars with you at Moonlight and resting my head on your lap as you ran your fingers through my hair and how we’d do it every single week.

“Can’t you see? I miss you and every little thing you do, simple or exquisite. I know why you acted that way yesterday and I hate myself so much for not realizing it until later. I owed her something after she told me a way to somehow get closer to you when I’d done such a horrible thing. You can love Soobin- I don’t care about myself anymore as long I get to see my favorite girl smile due to the fact that she’s in love.

“Y/N, you mean much more to me than anything and it’s okay if you’re happy not loving me again because at least I got to experience the full joy and sadness that visited along with the love of my life. This may be the last time you may ever want to see me, but please... let me tell you how much I need you one last time.”

His eyes were shining, full of sincerity that you were able to feel even if you weren’t him. Tears resembling glistening pearls streamed down with his cheeks as he finally told you the truth he’d been dying to tell you, allowing you to see his vulnerabilities inside out. And yet, he was genuinely smiling as he confessed this, happy enough he got the chance to tell you loved you one last time.

Gradually he extended his arms out wide, allowing you to have your personal space while he took a few steps backwards and towards the grass where you followed him. By the end of it all, you weren’t able to help the tears welling up in your eyes at how touched you were from the inside. It was him, the boy who promised to love you until the end of time.

“Y-Yeonjun, I...” he cut in through your words, closing his eyes in fear of the pain that would soon become of his body if you did in the end, choose to grant his wish. It simply wasn’t enough to level the agony of his heart, but he was willing to take all the pain instead of burdening it on you.

“I’ll let you push me. I’ll let you hit me. I’ll let you get back what you deserve. You can slap me, as long as you let everything out. I don’t want you to hurt anymore because of me, so just do it!”

...

...

...

Silence.

Oh, the euphoric relief coursing in your veins that really pushed you over the edge.

Immediately you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could because you never wanted to let go. You melted into his embrace upon contact, burying your head against his chest that was warm and overflowing with passion. Yeonjun hesitantly embraced you back, unsure of what happened just now.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his dumbfound expression.

“You silly baby,” you teased, repeating his playful words from earlier, “I’m not dating Soobin and I never have. Why would I date him when I’ll never love this way again?”

You booped his nose as quickly as you could, smiling when he finally reciprocated the same grin back.

“Choi Yeonjun, you were such a fool to lose me, but I’m even more of a fool to love you again. I’ve never stopped loving you, although I’m sure you already knew that, hEY-”

With happiness overflowing the boy, he picked you up and you were swept off your feet in a second. Wide smiles reflected back and forth from his face to yours as he spun you around him a few inches from the ground, pure bliss surrounding the two of you since you both were complete again. He let you laugh in his hands, tickling your sides unintentionally while you snickered at him to let you down. He only chuckled at this, stopping in place but still refusing to listen to your request.

“I love your very big brain that’s so smart it makes me frustrated with how dumb I am sometimes,” he brought you down a little bit to kiss your forehead. He then trailed down to your nose.

“I love how you ask me for opinions of perfume when you know deep down instead I adore your natural scent instead,” he kissed your nose and you laughed at the feeling it naturally gave you.

“But most importantly,” Yeonjun placed you down on the golden grasslands again and ceased right in front of your lips, letting his breath fall upon them, “I love you.”

Then he connected your lips together, bringing you closer towards him than he had ever done before.

At last, everything was finally perfect.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Posted: 3/29/21- 1:37am (yes i did stay up halfway to two am just to get this finished. priorities people- it’s just a sweet early monday here 😔🧍)

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[socksnstuff00]

leah and jordan Annie, im sorry lmao i accidentally deleted the ask instead of answering 😂 is friday night and i already have two beers down. i said toast and leah were gunna become bros the first weekend along with vivianne getting drunk and crying about how beautiful their gfs are