#sorry but i gotta live my truth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pin-k-ink · 3 months

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cynosure // kageyama tobio

tw ⇢ needy!sub!kageyama, dom reader, begging, cunnilingus, squirting, praise kink (m! receiving), kageyama cums untouched, ruined orgasm, kinda body worship

wc ⇢ 2.3k

"I mean, what can I say?" Kageyama's deep baritone carried across the lively gathering with undisguised swagger. "It helps that my wife is so eager to please in the bedroom. She knows I'm in charge and that's just how it is."

You froze mid-conversation, drink halfway to your lips as his boastful declaration ricocheted through your consciousness like a thunderclap. Slowly, you turned to find your husband holding court among his former Karasuno teammates - chest puffed out and that signature smug grin plastered across his handsome features.

Despite the dull roar of the party surrounding him, Kageyama's navy gaze seemed to find yours through the crowd unerringly. Something deliciously wicked flashed behind those hooded depths as he appraised you from across the room with searing intensity.

As if sensing your rapidly mounting indignation, his smile turned molten - full lips curving into an artful sneer you knew so intimately. The one that said he was already formulating a full wind-up for the pitch guaranteed to send your temper blazing.

"Oi, oi Kageyama!" Tanaka's raucous laughter cut through the din next, jarring your focus. "You're full of it as always! There's no damn way [Y/N] just lets you call all the shots in the bedroom like that."

Nishinoya immediately chimed in with a loud cackle. "Sorry man, but I gotta agree with Ryuu on this one! Remember back in high school how [Y/N] used to keep your Kingly ass in line?"

You pursed your lips to suppress a smirk of your own as Kageyama visibly bristled at the friendly ribbing. Yamaguchi tried half-heartedly to defuse the mounting teasing, only to end up doubling over in wheezes as their loudmouth senpais kept the taunts rolling.

Throughout it all, Kageyama stared straight at you – a heated challenge simmering in that ravenous gaze you recognized all too intimately. You held his stare steadily, delicately grazing the rim of your glass with your tongue in a blatant show of defiance.

A visible shudder ripped through your husband at the deliberate taunt. You relished in the way his jaw clenched, throat bobbing convulsively even from this distance as you signalled your refusal to play along so docilely. Not in public, and certainly not back in the privacy of your own bedroom...where you both knew the delicious truth all too well.

So when the rager finally began winding down in the wee hours and pleasantries were exchanged, you made sure to slip out well ahead of Kageyama – already anticipating the blazing promise awaiting you both at home with heated inevitability.

Sure enough, you'd barely crossed the threshold before your husband's powerful bulk slammed the door shut behind you with a muted bang. Spinning on your heel, you took in the combustible sight of him looming there with those blown pupils smoldering with naked yearning.

"Feeling a little overconfident tonight, my King?" you murmured, keeping your tone light even as electricity fizzed down your spine.

Prowling forward with boneless grace, Kageyama crowded you back against the hallway wall without so much as a word. The rough plaster grated against your shoulders as he caged you in on both sides, but you refused to be cowed so easily.

"Don't..." he growled in that gravelly rasp you adored. "Unless you plan on actually putting me in my place, that is."

For a moment, he held you immobilized beneath the scorching weight of his ravenous study. You remained utterly defiant, licking your lips with delicate leisure just to watch his blown pupils dilate further in response. Then, unhurriedly, you skated your hands up the carved ridges of his abdomen until fingertips dug deliciously into chiseled pectorals.

"Well aren't you feeling rebellious tonight?" you husked out, sharp nails scraping over the stiff peaks of his nipples in wicked suggestion. "I'll admit, this new sense of misguided ego does suit you well, Tobio..."

Kageyama shuddered against you bodily, spine flexing as you angled your face closer until your lips brushed the strained tendon of his neck with every consonant.

"Though it will make taking you apart all the more...rewarding, I suspect," you finished, sealing your mouth over his thundering pulse in a slick glide.

A feral groan punched from your husband's chest as his arms sagged against the wall, fully surrendering himself over to your velvet possession already. You indulged in nipping and laving reverent patterns over every shuddering inch of silken flesh offered freely, relishing the crisp musk of Kageyama's arousal rapidly soaking the air between your twined forms.

Only once his lidded eyes finally fluttered shut in rapturous surrender did you pull back enough to rasp out the final blistering promise against his slack lips:

"Now...let's see how long that bravado holds up once I really put you through your paces, hm, my King?"

"Please...please [Y/N], I can't take it anymore..."

Kageyama's gravelly whine pitched higher as his big hands fisted in the bedding beside your thighs. You simply arched one sculpted brow, letting your gaze trail over his trembling form in a lazy sweep.

He knelt before you stripped bare, chest heaving with exertion and dark locks matted against his forehead from exquisite effort. A delicate sheen of sweat gleamed over the taut cords of his sculpted abdomen and those mouth-watering v-lines disappearing beneath...

You allowed yourself a slow, indulgent perusal of his thick cock straining against the scant fabric still clinging to his hips. No matter how many times you drank in the sight, it never failed to make your mouth water in fresh appreciation.

"Does my sweet little King need something?" you finally rumbled out, tone dripping with sugared condescension.

Kageyama whimpered again, those blown sapphire irises shining with desperate need as he searched your hooded expression pleadingly. In the dim bedroom light, you could make out the delicate glistening of tears streaking over his beautifully ruined features.

"Y-You..." he rasped out, lashes fluttering rapidly. "Please, I need you to touch me...kiss me...anything, [Y/N], I'm begging—"

His desperation broke off into a hitched cry as you simply tilted your head, keeping your folded arms and legs firmly crossed in a show of detached indifference. Despite the rapidly swelling ache pulsing between your own thighs, something primal and merciless reared within at holding this ultimate power over him.

"You're begging?" you echoed softly, letting the molten lull of your voice caress over each damning syllable. "The same King who was mouthing off so arrogantly about having control just hours ago?"

Kageyama's throat worked convulsively as you trailed one toe up the taut line of his inner thigh in a languorous glide. Despite his full-body shudder, you refused to halt the deliciously slow ministrations once you reached the apex of those rippling muscles bracketing his aching length.

"Perhaps this will remind my husband who truly holds the reins in our...intimate affairs, hm?" you crooned, skimming the very tip of your foot along the underside of his weeping cock in one branding caress.

Kageyama's ragged groan fractured into a high, needy whine as he dropped his head and rolled his hips into the honeyed torment helplessly. Wetness from the precum pearling at his flushed tip trailed down your arched instep in silken streaks, making you inhale sharply at the thrilling heat.

"Please..." he panted out in a wrecked rumble that seared straight through your already fraying restraint. "I'm yours, always yours...your good boy, I swear it..."

With maddening lethargy, you allowed your legs to finally unspool from their rigid posture and bracket his shuddering body with purposeful suggestion. Kageyama immediately angled forward to nuzzle his face into your pussy through your thin cotton panties, chasing the scent of your intoxicating musk with a starved whimper.

His beautiful mouth went slack against your damp heat as you threaded elegant fingers through his dark hair with deceptive gentleness – nails raking over his scalp hard enough to leave tingling crescents in their wake.

"That's right..." you whispered in a voice gone hoarse and brimming with possessive ardor. "My perfect, sweet boy knows his place now...at my feet with his King's mouth pressed to his Queen's altar."

Kageyama shattered with a broken wail against your slick folds, eager tongue lapping at your swollen clit, working in frantic reverence as his broad shoulders shook with the force of his rapturous worship. You rolled your hips forward with measured leisure, grinding against his sinfully plush lips in a languid glide, letting the wet rasp of fabric intensify the sensation.

Your husband groaned against your pussy with every breathless swipe of his tongue, lashes fluttering and cheeks glistening with a fresh wave of salty tears. His thick, aching cock bobbed between his thighs as he hastily tugs his boxers down - twitching in a steady beat with each stroke and suckle of his perfect lips.

You tightened your grip on his dark locks, tugging his head back until his throat flexed with a muted moan. He blinked up at you in a daze, those oceanic orbs nearly swallowed by the endless depths of his blackened pupils.

You looked down to see him staring up at you through thick, clumped lashes and the wet glimmer of tears staining his flushed cheeks. That sinful mouth - still gleaming with the slick remnants of your desire - hung open in a pant, revealing the crimson tip of his tongue resting there on offer.

Lower, you could see his cock weeping and twitching in earnest. The tip was dark, flushed, and throbbing - so painfully engorged that the veins crisscrossing the length stood out in stark relief. An obscene amount of precum glistened in a thin string, connecting the slit to a small puddle forming on the hardwood floor below.

"Oh my sweet King," you cooed, trailing the pad of your thumb over the swollen seam of his lower lip. "What a mess you're making already...you want me that badly?"

Kageyama's only response was another wrecked whimper as he surged forward, sucking the tip of your thumb into his mouth with a low, pleading whine. You allowed the intimate contact for several long moments, feeling his tongue swipe around the digit in a filthy pantomime of what you both so desperately craved.

Then, with aching deliberateness, you tugged the soft cotton fabric to the side and spread the puffy folds of your aching pussy. Your husband's eyes widened further, blown pupils zeroing in on your slick, exposed cunt as a low keen rumbled from deep within his chest.

"Be a good boy and clean up your mess, Tobio..."

Without hesitation, Kageyama dove forward, pressing his mouth flush to your aching heat with a groan of relief. You shuddered as his sinful lips immediately sought out your clit, drawing the swollen nub between his teeth to graze with delicate pressure.

"Fuck..." you gasped out, head tipping back at the electric current ripping down your spine. Your hips stuttered forward, thighs flexing on either side of his head. His thick hands came up to grasp at the supple flesh there, fingers digging into the pliant give as he lapped and sucked and licked in a dazed frenzy.

Your husband's enthusiasm was no match for the molten desire burning through your own veins, and you soon found yourself tipping over the edge in a shuddering rush. Your orgasm crashed over you in a relentless wave, and you felt the hot, wet rush of slick gushing from your cunt as he drank it all down in fervent gulps.

He didn't stop his hungry assault until you shoved him back by his tangled hair, chest heaving and pussy trembling from overstimulation. A thick rivulet of cum and saliva oozed from the corner of his mouth, and you watched as Kageyama made no move to wipe it away – simply let it slide down the column of his throat in a filthy display.

"Please..." he slurred out, sounding drunk on pleasure and desperation. "Need you...please, I need you, I can't take it..."

He kept up the litany, a steady stream of half-coherent pleas and broken cries as he rocked his hips forward, searching for friction. His neglected cock bobbed and dripped between his thighs, still painfully swollen and aching for release.

"My poor boy," you crooned, reaching down to cup his jaw with aching tenderness. Kageyama's gaze remained glassy and unfocused, though he instinctively turned his cheek into the warm palm cradling his face. "Let's take care of this, hm?"

At once, your husband nodded eagerly – lips parted and eyes rolling back in bliss as you slid down to your knees to match him. With aching reverence, you cupped his face between both hands and leaned forward, capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

He groaned against your mouth, the heady scent and taste of your slick mixing between you both in a deliciously filthy exchange. His thick, calloused hands came up to frame your own jaw, holding you in place as he pressed forward – deepening the kiss with a ragged, animalistic growl.

You were so absorbed in your own spiraling ecstasy that you nearly missed the subtle cues at first. The way Kageyama's shoulders went rigid. How his desperate whimpers fractured into sharper, hitching gasps laced with fresh rapture blooming.

It wasn't until you felt the first spurt of his thick, wet seed splattering against your stomach and thigh did you pull back from the kiss, eyes widening in awe. You looked down to see his swollen cock pulsing, jerking and twitching as he shot rope after rope of cum across your naked flesh.

A punched-out groan tore from his chest as he succumbed, hips jerking in helpless rhythm as the last drops of his release trickled out in a weak stream. Then, as suddenly as the powerful rush had consumed him, Kageyama sagged – his muscular bulk slumping forward until his sweat-slicked forehead thudded against your shoulder.

A stunned laugh bubbled up from your chest, and you reached up to smooth one hand through his tangled locks with affection. He groaned into your collarbone, nuzzling deeper into your neck as his strong arms encircled your waist to hold you tight.

"M’ sorry. Wanted to hold out longer," he mumbled, the words vibrating against your heated skin. "Couldn't help it when you started kissing me, though."

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srjlvr · 10 days

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,, 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY EX ’’

JUST when you thought your life couldn’t get any worse after your biggest break up of the year, someone posted your (very) much hateful list about your ex.

PAIRING. Ex!jake X Ex-fem!Reader

GENRE. fluff(look at me putting this first in genre) , angst , exes to lovers.

WARNINGS. y/n is kind of a bitch towards jake ig, jake is a big big player, lots of miscommunications, also very much not proofread!! i shall add more if i missed something!

WORD-COUNT. 7.8k+

NOTE. there we go again with this story cover, im outta here, graphics and me are not friends UGH i gotta start paying for someone to actually do this for me smh. anyways!! everything here is FICTIONAL!! i do NOT see jake nor any of the characters like that in any way!! if you don’t like it—youre very welcomed to skip!!

you thought you had your brightest future in your hands.

being an ace student, scoring A+ in all of your tests and winning the teacher’s favoritism, all of that while also being the most popular cheerleader of your school.

you’re literally living everyone’s dream, not only being a popular student, but also dating the most popular student who also happened to be your highschool’s basketball team leader, jake sim.

girls swoon for him, beg him to notice them, even go as far as to send him gifts that costs probably more than their own house, but no, his eyes search for one person and one person only, and that’d be you.

“i’m sorry, i can’t continue all of this”

“this? what do you mean—“

“i mean us, this relationship, i don’t think it’s going to work anymore”

“oh”

“that’s all you got to say?”

“do you expect me to cry and get on my knees, begging you to regret this?”

“what?”

“speechless now, are we? i’ve been waiting for this day”

denial was your best friend, and you might’ve realized it a bit too late.

you were hurt, fuck you wanted to break down and cry. but he doesn’t deserve to see that.

you ignored so many red flags in your relationship, you were lovesick and pathetic, all for him, it broke you apart. but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

“y/n…”

“i don’t want to hear it jake, i’m actually glad you took this step”

you’re not glad at all, you do love him.

“i wish you the best” he said quietly and left.

this whole relationship felt like a mistake for the both of you, it was toxic, too toxic.

like those you see on TV shows where the popular girl and guy just date for fame and nothing more, yeah, just like that.

but you loved each other, you really did. communication was your biggest enemy, and that’s what lead to this whole toxic relationship mess.

“what a fucking asshole! it hasn’t even been a month and he’s already all over the girls! pathetic”

“yeji!”

your best friend rolled her eyes, “am i wrong? he was always a player”

you shook your head.

she wasn’t totally wrong, even before you started dating he used to hold a different girl in his hands every other day.

big player indeed.

you on the other hand, no matter how popular you were, you stayed reserved. many boys tried their luck, but it was no use.

though being reserved, you didn’t mind the looks the other boys gave you, and took every chance you had to show yourself off.

therefore it was so surprising to everyone that you and jake started dating.

the biggest player and the reserved popular girl, dating? this had to be a joke.

the truth is that jake had been keeping his eyes on you for long, and he knew that he has to hold you in his arms and show you that a player like him can actually love.

at first it took him time to break down your walls, but he did his best to assure you that he’ll never let anything bad happen to you.

that was….well, until he decided to break things off.

“yeah, he was, once a player, always a player” you agreed with her, glancing at jake and rolling your eyes when noticing that the girl he was flirting with is having too much fun.

“let’s just go, i’m tired of watching those clowns” you sighed and walked away.

“y/n! i’m sorry you had to witness….well—“

“it’s okay sunghoon, really”

before you and yeji could walk too far, sunghoon stopped you.

sunghoon is jake’s best friend, you and him weren’t the best at making conversation while you and jake were still together, but when you broke up, something changed between the two of you.

“don’t mind him, he can be a total asshole sometimes”

“sometimes?” yeji chuckled and sunghoon nervously scratched his nape.

“thank you sunghoon, i’m fine though” you gave him a weak smile and walked away.

“well if there’s one thing that’s good about jake is that his best friend is smoking hot and totally into you!!” yeji clapped her hands.

you rolled your eyes in disbelief, “yeji i don’t think you get it, he’s just being nice because he feels bad about his best friend acting like a dickhead”

“oh y/n, i can read face expressions, he’d definitely ask you out if only things weren’t so difficult”

“don’t push it!”

“that’s the ONLY good thing about jake though, i feel bad for that walking red flag, he’s so bad at keeping his relationships”

“i should make a list of things that i hate about him and send it to every girl in school so they’d know they need to run away from him!” you joked.

“i’d definitely help you, i’m sure as hell that it’ll make his ugly face vanish” she was joking as well.

you both were joking, you knew it very well.

so how the hell did you find yourself sitting in your room desk, writing a list about the things you hate about your ex?

“one, he’s smoking hot, his visuals can mess up your mind” you’re writing everything down as you’re saying them out loud.

complimenting him on your first point? way to go girl!

“two, he’s a big fat player, once your date is over he’s already probably running to find his next” you rolled your eyes to this one.

not even a month passed and he’s already flirting with others? what a loser!

“three, so full of himself! it actually hurts to see a person who loves himself so much he could probably die!”

that one time he wouldn’t stop talking about how many girls asked him out in one night? yickes!

“four, so toxic and possessive! don’t want you around any guy while he walks around and talks with any girl he sees”

when he got jealous that you spoke with your childhood friend about the most random thing ever? disgusting!

“five, puts milk before cereal, i don’t even need to explain!”

a walking red flag or what?

after finishing the rest five points you had to make, you decided to call it a night and drifted away to dreamland.

“psst”

“hm?”

“i know we were joking about the hateful list yesterday, but i actually made it”

“what?!”

you put your hand over yeji’s mouth and giggled.

“it just felt so good! i feel so relieved now! i don’t even want to post it, but it just felt so right to just let everything out”

“so proud of you, girl! finally let it go and move on!!” she pat your shoulder and then proceeded to hug you.

“where did you hide that list?” she raised her brow.

“i just brought it with me today, i put it in my locker and i’ll probably burn it by the end of the day, i just wanted to show it to you first before i do it”

“now that’s my girl!”

yeji is the bestest friend you could’ve ever asked for. she was always there for you.

ever since you were little you were stuck like a glue, you had each other’s backs and you were more than thankful to have her in your life.

“hey y/n! i was just wondering, do you perhaps have notes for the last maths class? i missed it because of practice and i’d really like some help” sunghoon showed up with a grin.

“sure, they’re in my locker, i’ll bring it to you” you nodded and he shook his head.

“i’ll come with you”

“oh? okay”

he followed you to your locker and waited for you to give him the notes.

“what’s in this paper?” he asked as he looked at the very cute designed paper.

“oh? that’s nothing really” you shrugged it off and quickly closed your locker, “bring them back to me when you finish”

“i will, thank you!” he said and walked away.

you opened your locker again to take out the paper, you sighed heavily and shoved it into your bag.

“six, he can’t keep his promises! if he’ll ever tell you he’ll play some video games with you, don’t believe it!!” yeji read it out loud and laughed.

you laughed with her, suddenly finding this list so funny.

“seven, his puppy eyes are definitely misleading! he’s a one manipulative bitch and he won’t be afraid to use his cute puppy eyes!” she rolled her eyes, “is that a good or a bad thing?”

“bad thing obviously! it’s literally written there that he’s manipulative!”

“girls love puppy eyes! you should know that!” she preached and you rolled your eyes.

you spent the rest of your lunch break giggling and laughing about this stupid list.

“i’m returning this to my locker, i’ll burn it after practice today” you told her and she nodded.

“i need proof of that, video call me when you do it!” she said and sent you off to practice.

arriving at the field, you found your friends and practice started.

“hey, y/n!” as you were packing everything in your bag and exiting the dressing room, sunghoon, who was already there waiting for you called you.

“hey, you” you grinned.

“will you let me do the honor and walk you home today?” he asked ever so nicely.

“sure!” you smiled and began to walk with him, completely forgetting about the paper you had to burn.

“i can’t believe you forgot the paper in your locker! what if someone steals it?” yeji complained over the phone right after you texted her that you forgot about it.

“yeji! no one knows it’s there except you! it’s not ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’ story! you can calm down” you sighed.

you were right though, who knows this locker holds up something that can completely ruin not only yours but also your ex’s image?

“i guess i’m gonna let this slide today, but i’m going to burn this paper with you tomorrow!”

“hm”

“how was your walk with sunghoon~?” she teased.

“it was cool, he’s such a cute guy, surprised that he’s still single honestly”

“i think we both know why”

“i’m gonna go sleep!” you changed the subject and before she could ask any more questions you hang up.

the next day you found yourself yet again a victim to yeji’s new gossips while trying to take out a few things from your locker.

“so as i was saying—are you even listening to me?” she looked at you while you looked at the mirror that was hanged in your locker and applied your lipstick on.

“hm? oh yeah”

“you’re a lost case”

“we’re gonna burn this paper today! and then i will finally be able to feel free from this relationship” you smiled, explaining to her that it was the only thing on your mind.

“you’re damn right! this hate list about jake is going to be burnt today!!”

“this hate list about who?”

you jumped hearing someone else’s voice behind you.

“oh! yena, didn’t see you here” you chuckled nervously.

“just here to tell you that coach said there’ll be another practice today, i came here privately because, you know, you’re too busy in other things to care” oh she’s a one of a kind bitch.

you gave her a sarcastic smile, “i already know that, but thank you”

she returned the fake smile and walked away.

“that was so close!”

“you should be more careful, this girl is just looking for something that’ll bring you down” yeji whispered and you nodded, “i guess you’re right, at least she didn’t really hear all of this”

school ended and so did your practice, yeji leaned on the wall next to your locker as you searched for the paper.

“i could’ve sworn i put it right there!!”

“y/n think!! maybe you put it in your bag?”

you handed her your bag for her to search it.

“oh! i found it! it was between those notebooks” you giggled, “but i could’ve sworn i put it under all of my books”

“at least you found it” she sighed and put her hand over your shoulder.

“let’s burn this bitch!”

looking at the little fire you made with yeji made you feel excited and mostly happy.

you let all your thoughts together with this paper to burn.

your relationship was toxic, but this time was the most beautiful time in your life.

you and jake really did love each other.

one time you were sitting together in the library, trying to study the new material your teacher gave you.

“what are you up to?” he asked.

“studying, that’s why we’re in the library” you smiled.

“that’s so boring!” he pout. you giggled and pecked his lips, “you can be on your phone or something until i finish”

“no” he shook his head, “i want to do something with you”

“jake—“

“let’s go! i’m taking you on a date!” he grabbed your hands and dragged you out.

you spent the rest of your day together, sharing a few snacks and joking around.

it was the perfect kdrama couple everyone dreams of.

you ended up sleeping at jake’s house that day, and he made sure you knew how much he loves you.

“i can see our future together,” he smiled and held your hands, “me, a famous basketball player and you, my pretty partner”

you were sitting right across him on his bed and raised a brow, “oh? so i get to do nothing?”

“i’ll make sure to work hard so you could rest and never work for your entire life” he hugged you and pecked your cheek.

“remember that promise, i’ll use that against you in the future” you joked.

“that means…..you too see a future for us?”

“of course”

he put his hand on your cheek and moved you closer to him, he kissed you so deeply you could feel his love to you was sincere.

that small flashback of this romantic moment made you smile, you really do miss him.

but a dark memory came right away, not leaving any place for the sweet memories to stay,

“oh so i didn’t pay attention for you for once and now you’re giving fuck eyes to my best friend?” he yelled.

“you’re such an idiot sometimes! sunghoon was actually kind enough to apologize on your behalf! you were basically embarrassing me in front of everyone!”

“so now sunghoon’s the hero? go to him then!”

“why are you so stup—“

“i don’t want to hear your complains, y/n!”

“oh really?—“

“yes! go away!”

thinking about those moments reminded you why you’re still here looking at the hateful list you made about him.

he was toxic, possessive, and full on narcissistic, it was so hard to love him sometimes.

yeji came up to hug you when she noticed a few tears streamed down your face.

“let it go now, you already proved yourself you don’t need him” she smiled and you nodded.

“let’s go home”

the next day felt a lot better than the others, the sun was shining brightly, birds were singing, a big smile was smeared all over your face and most importantly, you felt free.

“morning, y/n!”

“morning yeji! lunch is on me today”

“i look up to you so much, my queen” she faked a bow and you giggled.

the day is going to be amazing, and so are the other days! you’re so sure of it.

you decided to keep up with jake’s game and even started flirting with other guys, not even minding if your ex was watching or not.

usually you would, but not now, or never again.

“what’s your fucking problem?”

while talking to some guy you don’t even remember the name of, jake grabbed your wrist and stopped the conversation.

“what do you mean—“

“i mean flirting with him, he’s supposed to practice—“

“you don’t return from break for the next ten minutes, i can talk with him in the meantime” you rolled your eyes.

“coach said—“

“don’t make up things now and don’t act like you care, we’re already over”

“y/n—“

“don’t play this game with me now jake, you can return to your fangirls and leave us alone” you scoffed and released his hold on your wrist.

he rolled his eyes in annoyance and walked away.

“did you see the way he looked at you? i bet you my whole money that he still loves you” yeji sounded as annoyed as he was.

“be ready to go bankrupt because there’s no chance”

“this asshole thinks you’re still in a relationship, he’s sooooo pathetic!”

“yeji, let’s stop talking about him” you groaned and she nodded.

you were in a really good mood today but he totally just ruined it.

the next few days went by so fast, you felt happier by each day that comes by, and nothing could ruin your mood.

that was until today’s morning.

as soon as you stepped your foot in the school’s hallway, people started gossiping.

“y/n! about point five, does he really put his milk before cereal? that’s disgusting!” a random student just popped up and asked you that question straightforwardly.

“huh?”

a few more students gathered around you and you couldn’t even understand a bit of what they were saying.

“excuse me! coming through!” yeji yelled and pushed everyone aside.

when she noticed you in the middle of the circle, she grabbed your hand and dragged you away.

“are you crazy? why would you post the list?!” she asked frustratedly.

“what list?”

“don’t play dumb!”

“no i’m really serious, what are you talking about?”

she glanced up at you and showed you her phone.

“no way!” you gasped.

someone posted your list!

“yes way! are you that stupid?”

“yeji that wasn’t me! i would never do something so dumb!” you reasoned yourself.

right, why would you even post this if you knew it was going to ruin your reputation?

she sighed and walked back and forth.

“it wasn’t me either!” she said almost instantly.

“yeji, you’re the only one who knows about this list” you said suspectedly.

“y/n, do you really think i’d post this? after shit-talking about him and threatening to kill him multiple times?” she looked genuinely hurt.

you know her ever since you know yourself, she wouldn’t do such a thing.

“you’re right” you sighed.

“so,” she spoke, “who’s the asshole?”

“i wish i knew” you scoffed, “i’d like to know who wants to ruin my image”

there were a few seconds of silence, “yena!” you and yeji shouted together with wide eyes.

“this bitch!” yeji spat, “she probably heard us talking about it!”

“oh i’m gonna give her some good bea—“

you were cut off by the bell and had to head straight to class.

you waited for everyone to get in and told yeji you’d come right after you get to your locker and take your notes.

the hallway was empty and you sighed in relief.

“YOU!!” you heard someone shouting across the hallway.

guess it wasn’t so empty after all.

you looked at the person and found the last person you wanted to see.

“you ruined my life!” the person just got closer and closer and you closed your eyes tightly.

“is it because of our break up? that’s how you get back at me? you ruined everything!”

you sighed heavily.

“and what’s with those points? eight, he’s such a nerd for physics it actually hurts, he won’t stop talking about it all the time, nine, thinks his dog is the cutest and will argue you if you don’t think like him, and ten, he’ll use your deepest secrets against you, he cannot be trusted???” he read out the list for you in disbelief, although you already know it.

“those are all lies aren’t they? why did you even—“

“well what am i supposed to do now? it’s already posted, and no! these are not lies! they’re the truth, if you only cared about how i felt in our relationship you’d realize how much of a dick you were” you scoffed and closed your locker, prepared to go to class since you were already too late.

you glanced at jake one last time, he looked speechless, confused and hurt.

were you too much? maybe. but he deserves it.

“hey y/n! should i be careful if i want to date you? i don’t want a hateful list posted about me if i ever break up with you” a random student yelled from across the hall as you were busy talking with yeji.

you glared at him and decided not to reply.

“ignore them, this whole thing will probably vanish in a few days” yeji caressed your back and you sighed.

“i hope you’re right—“ before you could continue, a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from yeji.

you looked at the person in charge and when you noticed it was very angry looking jake, you started panicking.

“hey, let me go!” you tried to let go of his hold but it was no use.

“why didn’t you delete it yet?” he asked angrily when you got into an isolated place.

“delete what?”

“are you that stupid?”

“obviously if i’m still talking to you”

“i’m talking about the post”

“it wasn’t me!” you argued.

“sure, and i’m actually queen elizabeth” he rolled his eyes, clearly not believing you.

“think about it, why would i ruin my reputation?”

“i don’t know, to get sunghoon’s attention? that’s all you ever did” he shrugged.

“you’re a piece of shit, you know that? try to figure who it was on your own” you spat and walked away, leaving him deep in thoughts.

“oh! there you ar— are you okay?” sunghoon who casually bumped into you noticed your frowned eyebrows and tightly closed fists.

“go to your friend, i think he needs you more than i do”

he slowly nodded, still worried about you but you just kept walking away.

“hey dude! what’s going on?” sunghoon noticed his friend’s weird behavior.

“sunghoon,” jake spoke, “who do you think posted it?”

sunghoon shrugged, “it could be anyone”

“who wants to destroy my image? do you think there’s someone that does?”

sunghoon looked at his friend in disbelief, does he really think only about himself now?

“maybe it was someone who wants to get back at y/n and not you? not everything revolves around you, you know”

ouch. truth hurts sometimes.

but it seemed to hit a nerve and jake suddenly got up.

“yena!”

“ugh! just when i thought my life got better without him now i have a huge scandal because of him” you whined.

“are you sure it was only because of him? i mean, you did leave it in your locker and…” yeji was about to continue but stopped when she noticed your glare.

“on who’s side are you?”

“every coin has two sides and you know it” she pressed her lips and you sighed.

maybe she’s right, instead of always blaming your ex about your life problems, you should face the truth sometimes.

“well if it isn’t the famous y/n!” you heard a voice you wished you’d never hear again.

“yena! it’s so good to see you here” you faked a smile, “what brings you here?”

“i study here” she answered sarcastically and you tried to resist the urge to punch her in the face.

“anyway, your list got so famous that everyone at school talks about it! i think you should thank whoever posted it”

“maybe i should! it really got me some fame, even your boyfriend came up to me today” you teased and her face turned red.

“you’re lying!”

“your boyfriend would say otherwise”

she scoffed and ran away, “tell him i agree to go on a date with him!” you shout as she walked away.

“you should go easy on her” yeji, who was there to witness everything that happened shook her head.

“it was her who posted it, she deserved it” you huffed and sped up your walk to the classroom.

your last class was finished after what felt like a year and as you got out you finally took a deep breath.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, try not to think about what happened today!” yeji sent you off and you smiled at her.

as soon as you stepped your foot in school you wished you could run away.

before anyone would notice you, you tried to sneak around and look for yeji.

“y/n!” god how much you hate universe.

“what do you want jake?” you answered rudely.

“just wanted to say thank you for that list,” he said sarcastically, “it’s not like you ruined my reputation or something like that, hey by the way! do you think i should make one too? i think that would be fun”

“don’t you dare” you groaned.

“then let’s date again”

“what?”

“are you deaf? i said let’s date again”

“what makes you think i’d actually do that?”

“well, we could lie to everyone that we tried to trick them into thinking that we hated each other to see how others will react” he shrugged, “think about it, it’ll save our image, plus you owe me”

“i owe you nothing”

“it’s because of you that we’re in this shitty situation!”

“you can just let it be and people will forget about it sooner or later, now let me go—“

he caught your wrist before you could leave.

“one week, one week of just pretending and then we’ll part our ways peacefully”

truth is, his idea didn’t ring so bad, but you were scared. you were scared you’d fall in love with him all over again.

“what is it, some fake dating love story? you can go fake date sunghoon and that’ll create a bigger scandal than this one” you shoved your hand and rolled your eyes while walking away.

a part of him just wanted to hold you back again in his arms, for real.

“hey jake!” sunghoon greeted him and jake gave him a weak smile.

“did you just talk with y/n? i thought you were angry with her?”

“i don’t know, sunghoon” he sighed, “i just want my old life back”

“yeah you kinda fucked up your life, hey why did you even break up with her in the first place?”

when sunghoon heard about your break up, he was the first to come up to jake and ask him about the reasons, only then he realized jake didn’t really want to speak about it at all.

but now jake felt ready, he felt like he needed someone to hear his side of the story, every coin has two sides right?

there they were, sitting in the field’s seats, looking at the empty space, it was just the two of them.

“when we first got together i was so happy, you already know how much i liked her that time, you even helped me planning all those dates” jake sighed.

“‘sunghoon how do you take someone on a date without telling them straightforward it’s a date?’ i remember you asking me those questions nonstop!” sunghoon laughed.

“yeah, i was on cloud nine, but,” jake paused, “i was scared to lose her, i was so scared to lose her to the point i became overly possessive and anxious when she was around other boys, i was so used to have a one time thing and i didn’t know how to keep relationships, it all became messed up, this whole relationship happened in the wrong time”

sunghoon pat his friend’s shoulder, feeling sad for him.

“each time i tried to fix it, it got worse and i didn’t know how to stop, so i just decided to break it off, it’s better to let her live her life than to stay selfish and keep her to myself” jake sighed yet again, emphasizing the disappointment he feels with himself.

“i actually wanted to say this for awhile, but deep down i know you’re insecure about yourself, and you tried to hide it by boosting your ego and lying to everyone about your true self” sunghoon chuckled, “you were some kind of an asshole before you started dating y/n, and even became more of an asshole after getting into a relationship, you should’ve just talked it out with y/n”

“well it’s too late now isn’t it? she made that very clear that she hates me by writing down that list” jake groaned.

“maybe you should just make one about her and ruin her chances to have any relationship in highschool as well” sunghoon shrugged but jake looked at him curiously.

“i was joking! don’t do that!”

“well? how are we feeling today?” yeji handed you your favorite snack to cheer your mood up.

“thinking about ways to kill yena, how about i poison her food?”

“how about you just talk it out with her?”

“not a chance! i can’t look at her face without fighting the urge to punch her”

“well it isn’t going to help you, is it?”

“no, but it’ll make me satisfied”

“maybe i should just accept his offer?” you murmured.

“offer? what offer?” yeji asked.

“promise me no matter what happens, you’ll never abandon me” you grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at you straight in your eyes.

“have you gone mad? i—“

“promise me!”

“okay, okay!” she laughed, “you’re acting like you’re planning to get back with jake”

your silence told her everything.

“don’t you dare—“

“i have the perfect plan! you know how yena always wanted jake, right?”

“doesn’t she have a boyfriend—“

“boyfriend my ass, she was all over jake all the time”

“continue please”

“she probably posted my list to make sure i’ll never date him again, so she could have her chance,” you raised a brow, “by dating him i could only piss her off, but maybe that’d actually get her to confess about it”

“and then what?”

“then HER reputation would be ruined forever, boyfriend? gone, cheerleading? gone, friends? gone!”

“y/n,” yeji held your hand, “you’re so smart i feel like a proud mom!” she wiped her fake tears away.

later then you searched for a specific person you knew you’d find in the field.

“so,” the person said, “you actually agree?”

“jake, don’t make it harder than it already is” you rolled your eyes, trying to keep up with your cool girl energy, but deep down you were so excited to be close to him again and to hold him in your embrace.

“have you heard? jake and y/n are back!!” as you were walking towards your classroom you heard mumbling from other students.

“i literally just now agreed to this stupid idea how-“

“you know how fast rumor spread here, it’s actually scary”

your thoughts kept running through your mind all the way to lunch break, which was the only time you could ever relax and—

“attention please!” oh no.

“yes, me and y/n are back! this whole list thing? it was just to check everyone’s reaction about it! it’s so smart isn’t it? my sweet baby thought about this idea, and we did figure some weird actions after this whole thing blew up” jake dragged you right next to him and stared right into your eyes, “you’ll never break us apart”

cheers and claps were heard all over the hall and the only thing you thought about now is how to run away.

“congratulations! i was so scared it was real, was just now about to pay (student’s name) a hundred bucks, who lost the bet now huh loser?” one of the students came up to you with a wide smile.

you awkwardly smiled back as you set her off.

“did you really have to do that?” you glared at him.

“i did, see? now no one’s talking about it again” he shrugged.

“everyone stopped talking about it a day after! you’re just too busy thinking about yourself to notice your surroundings” you rolled your eyes.

“you agreed to do that, so be my guest, you knew there will be consequences”

“you’re the worst!”

“you don’t mean that”

you just rolled your eyes in return and stormed off.

“hey my sweet darling, how’s your day?”

“jake, we’re out of school, drop the acting”

you failed to notice his smile dropping.

“can’t i just be curious about your day?”

“jake, it’s weird, it’s been a while since we last talked or had a normal conversation, don’t act like nothing happened”

“what do you mean?”

“see you always does that! even when we were in a relationship! you fail to understand how badly you always hurt me and proceeded to just move on so fast, always running away from your problems”

he stopped his tracks as you continued walking away, this left a huge impact on him.

the next day you were back to acting, according to you, to jake it seemed very real.

you were sitting on one of the benches, casually talking with sunghoon about whatever.

jake seemed to notice every small detail about you.

the way you smile when he’s complimenting you, the way you crack at any of his jokes, even those who weren’t so funny.

you never laughed at his jokes.

“hey, can i steal my girlfriend?” jake sounded calm but his whole face screamed anger.

sunghoon, his best friend who had already recognized that face, slowly got up and smiled, “she’s all yours”

“hey, what was that?” you scoffed.

“you were being too close to him”

you rolled your eyes, “i can’t believe we’re back at it again”

“again?”

“yes, again! jake, get it right into your mind, we are not together! we’re just putting a small show for everyone’s entertainment and that’s it, it’s all about saving your ass here as well” you sounded really pissed off.

jake was taken a back for a few seconds but got right back to his senses, “oh”

“yes, oh! we’ll act like a couple when we’ll really need it” and with that you walked away.

“so,” you heard a devilish voice haunting you from behind as you were taking books out of your locker, “you and jake?”

“oh hey yena!” you smiled, “fancy seeing you here”

“answer my question” she furiously said.

“why are you curious? dropped your boyfriend because you thought you’d get a chance with him?” you smirked.

“oh! here’s my boyfriend!” you called jake who seemed to be very deep in thought.

he looked straight into your eye but decided to just walk away and ignore you completely.

“what the hell…” you cursed under your breath.

“boyfriend, huh?” yena was the one who’s smirking now, “well have fun!”

“what the hell was your problem back then?” you let yourself yell at him as you were out of school and on your way home.

“oh, i thought that we need to act like a couple when we really need it—“

“don’t play dumb right now!”

“i don’t get you y/n seriously! you’re always saying something but mean the exact opposite, what do you want, really?” he returned the attitude.

“what?”

“if you’re that suffering you should just go to sunghoon!”

“again with the sunghoon scandal—“

“yes, again with him! how come you never laughed at my jokes? how come you never smiled at any compliment i’ve given you? why did you always push me away when i tried to get closer?” the heated conversation turned into a quiet one, his tone made it very clear to you that he was hurting.

“w-what…” you whispered.

“you just don’t get it do you?” he chuckled, “my reason to being this jealous”

you stopped to think, all this time, all those arguments, he didn’t mean any bad at all.

“have you tried thinking about those beautiful moments we had? those were the most precious moments that ever happened in my entire life” you voice came quiet, “it was my first relationship ever, my first love, my first everything, i didn’t know how i should react, or what i should do in order to keep you to myself”

his glossy eyes were looking at you.

“you were so not used to doing ‘first time’ things that you failed to notice every little thing that i tried to do to keep us together, have you ever thought about that?” you preached, “i loved you, maybe i still do, but that won’t change anything, will it? it just doesn’t matter anymore”

he tried moving closer to you but stopped, “i-i’m sorry…”

“just go” you wiped the tears that were already streaming down your face.

both of you were hurting, but you didn’t know how to fix it all, it’s so stupid really, you think you’ve grown up to be a better person, but somehow communication puts on a wall that stops it all.

“have you heard? i think y/n and jake are over now, for real!”

“how the fuck did i became the hot topic again? and how come everyone knows about what happened yesterday?” you asked yeji.

“rumors, they spread so fast here” she shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

you watched jake pass you, you took the time to focus on his face.

his eyes seem so tried, puffy and hurt…. you thought.

“well someone had a rough day yesterday” yeji commented and you nodded slowly, still lost in thoughts.

“hey, can you let teacher know i have a meeting with coach today?”

“hm? but you don’t have any—“ “thank you!” you ran off quickly before she could ask any more questions.

“psst! sunghoon!” you whispered as you watched him getting ready for class.

“oh? y/n!” he smiled widely.

“come with me!” you grabbed his hand and dragged him outside the school building all the way to the back.

“y/n can we do this other time? class starts soon and—“

“shh!!” you put your finger over his lips and kneeled down with him, hiding from any teacher or student.

“i need you to help me” you gave him puppy eyes.

“yes of course, what happened?” he instantly asked.

“i’m gonna guess that you’re already aware of what happened yesterday”

“yeah, whatever that was i’d rather forget hearing about this”

“focus! i need you to help me figure out this!”

“what do you mean by ‘this’?”

“i mean everything! you’re his best friend, i’m sure you know about our whole relationship status, i-i just need to know why he broke up with me in the first place” you sighed.

“y/n, you’re not going to like what you’ll be hearing, are you sure you want that?” he genuinely asked.

you looked down to the ground and sighed, “yes, tell me everything please”

maybe asking him not to drop any detail was a mistake, because now after he told you everything and left you alone to get some time to think, you can’t help it but overthink about any step that you did.

“that only shows how bad you were for each other” sunghoon’s last words sent shivers down your spine, maybe he’s right.

“miscommunication sucks!” you laid back on the wall next to you, was this whole relationship a big mistake?

it did nothing but to hurt the both of you.

“there you are!” yeji sounded out of breath.

“so, jake might’ve gotten himself into a tiny fight and—“

“what? where!”

“it was right outside of our classroom but—“

before she could even finish her sentence you ran all the way back to your classroom and she after you.

“there’s no one here” you frowned, “you did this on purpose!”

“i tried to tell you he’s already in the nursery!” she yelled after trying to catch her breath.

“fill me up with information please” you asked quietly.

“you asshole!” as soon as you stepped into the nursery and saw jake laying down on one of the beds, a few tears came down your face.

“y/n! be careful he’s still recovering!” the nurse warned you from causing any more harm.

jake slowly opened his eyes and you scoffed, “fight? really? because of me?” you looked at him in disbelief.

he stayed silent, as if he knew what he did was wrong.

“you have nothing to say?”

“he called you a whore who likes to play with any boy that comes around, what did you expect me to do?” he sounded defensive.

“oh, i don’t know, maybe try to insult him with words and not physically! you got yourself into trouble now because of me” you complained.

“it was worth it” he smirked.

“jake, i’m being serious right now, you can’t act like we’re a couple when we’re absolutely not” as soon as you said this the nurse got the clue and went out of the room.

“that is exactly the problem!” he shout, “i can’t pass another day without you being by my side, you drive me crazy only by looking at me, and hell, i cannot look at any other man flirting with you without fighting the urge to punch him!”

“jake…” you whispered.

“i still love you, don’t you get it?…..i feel like i just can’t continue my day without holding you in my arms….” he held your hand.

you wiped the tears that continued to stream down your face, “you’re probably still suffering from concussion after the fight, i’ll go speak to the nurse”

you let go of his hold and walked out of the room.

a lot of thoughts were haunting your brain, how you wished things would be as simple as they sound.

he confessed to you and you love him, what’s stopping you from running into his arms?

“you’re just scared of giving whatever this was a second chance” yeji said as she took a bite of her food.

“whatever this was, it was toxic, i don’t want that to happen again” you sighed.

“yeah, it was pretty shitty to watch from the side, but i think he genuinely mean it this time” she took another bite from her food.

“how do you know that?”

“i mean really, ever since that list was posted he was around you 24/7, probably looking for excuses to be with you, that whole ‘oh we were just joking, we’re still dating’ thing was a dumb excuse for him to be next to you more, any nine years old can tell you that”

“you don’t have to be that harsh” you scoffed.

“i’m telling the truth babe, as much as i hated his guts, and still do, i think he was genuine about his feelings this time, and by the way you told me everything that happened, i think he really wants to fix it and try all over again” she shrugged.

“i….i don’t know what to say”

“just go and tell him yes already” she rolled her eyes and you nodded.

it’s time to fix your broken relationship.

you walked—ran back to the nursery only to find it empty.

“um…do you know where’s—“ “i saw him going to the field” the nurse answered before you could ask.

“thank you!” you smiled and walked excitedly to the field.

“i did it” you heard a familiar voice, “i posted that list”

before you could see who’s talking, you quickly hid behind a side wall.

“what?” you’re 100% certain this is jake’s voice, but who is he talking to?

“i thought this would finally break whatever you had going with her, i mean, you always had heart eyes for her even after your break up, it was making me sick”

“still, how could you do this to me?” jake sounded betrayed and…hurt.

“you had to move on, seriously, it was becoming unhealthy, i didn’t think it’d only bring you closer, it was such a mistake”

“please stop…”

“when you broke up i thought i’d finally have chance with her, but she was actually always looking your way, not even batting an eye at me”

“sunghoon just stop! i can’t believe my best friend would do this”

was it sunghoon this whole time?

“so it was you?” your thoughts voiced out.

“y-y/n?” you saw jake and sunghoon standing right in front of the other, sunghoon wore a shocked expression while jake just stood there looking completely hurt.

“what kind of an idiot would call himself a best friend? and to think you did all of that for what? to hurt not only him but me as well” you tched, “you’re nothing but an egoistic asshole”

“please just—“

“just go the fuck away! you did nothing but to hurt people, you’re disgusting me” you tried to shoo him but he didn’t budge.

“not going? okay then” you grabbed jake’s hand and walked away, not before shooting him an angry glare.

after a few minutes of walking you sat him down on one of the benches.

“you okay?” that was the first thing you asked.

“yeah, not like my best friend tried to sabotage me or anything” he chuckled.

“i’m sorry for that” you placed your hand on his shoulder, pressing it lightly, “he does not deserve to be called your best friend though”

he looked up to you and his eyes were filled with tears. you wiped the tears away and smiled at him.

“i don’t know if it’s going to help, but i didn’t feel anything for him, and never will”

he chuckled and sniffled, “i always trusted you, but i couldn’t find myself to trust him, i guess now i know why”

you rolled your eyes, “yeah, yeah you were right, i was wrong”

he gave you his infamous smile and the butterflies you felt never felt this good, “thank you” he said.

“for what?”

“for being there for me, and even if you don’t want to fix things right now, i think we might be—“

you shut him down by kissing his lips, he was shocked at first but quickly caught up, caging you in his arms and holding you tightly.

as you broke the kiss you smiled, “i do want to fix things, i want that more than anything”

“do you mean it? aren’t you afraid?”

“as long as i’m with you i have nothing to fear” you smiled.

“ugh! you’re back again? i can’t keep up with this anymore!” you heard an annoying voice.

“hey yena? fuck off” you flipped her off and she stormed away.

“since when did you become so confident?”

“ever since i realized i want to cherish and hold the most precious thing to me forever”

“i love you” he held your hand and kissed it, “i love you too” you replied with a quick peck on his lips.

“aww lovebirds, get back in class now the day’s not over yet!”

PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v @s00buwu @hoonheepretty @jjeoni-7 @dimplewonie

#enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen jake #sim jake x reader #jake scenarios #jake imagines #jake fluff #jake oneshots #jake drabble #jake x reader #enhypen x reader

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starryhutcherson · 4 months

Text

━━ A NEW FAMILIAR

author's note: crawled out of my hole for this one guys. sorry for being so ghost mode im working on putting out more stuff, apologies if this isn't of the highest quality as i'm running on sugar free redbull and three hours of sleep ! love my life hahahahaAHHHH

'୧ ‧₊ pairing: best friend!mike schmidt x reader warnings: 18+ sexual content! oral sex (f!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, dirty talk, swearing word count: 4600+ ⋆ ✩‧₊

Mike’s expression always glooms when you bring up the next date you’ve arranged. He knows how this story plays out; he knows the truth behind the men you’ve matched with on whatever sketchy website you’ve wasted your time on. They’ve molded themselves into the embodiment of perfection, through falsified photos and fabrications buried in their bios. His patience crumbles like fireplace ash as you skip around his living room and drone on about whatever dickhead you’ve set your poor, precious heart on.

He knows, always, the the outcome is running makeup and salty cheeks, sobbing on the floor of his living room in a creasing satin dress and his welcoming arms, a bitter exclamation of “you were right Mike” leaving your lips in the knowing silence and him gritting his jaw and pretending that it doesn’t bother him the the only habits you ever find yourself falling back into are the bad ones.

It’s no different today.

Mark or Matt or Mitch – you really were killing him, because it should be Mike. It should be him. Him that you’re getting ready for, him that you’re daydreaming about. And it’s an odd feeling, like a movie where your favorite character dies and then movie finishes and you have to accept that they aren’t coming back, no matter how long you sit glued to the reclinable chair, popcorn crunched beneath your sneakers and the credit-scene reflected in your shrinking pupils.

Mike’s not the type to be happier with the hope – he’d let the truth swallow him up, sink into his creaking bones, he’d live with the loss. But he still has hope for you. He has hope that your eyes will open and you’ll seep into his brain and his breath and his bed. He hopes you’ll start seeing him instead of just looking. Maybe it's wishful thinking. Ignorant optimism.

It feels like it.

It feels like it, right now, when he’s leaning against the doorframe of his bathroom and watching you get ready, your animated chatter reverberating around the small space between coats of mascara. He offered to give you a ride before you’d even asked, and he’ll tolerate the sting of watching you get out of the car looking all pretty for someone who isn’t him, just to make sure you get there safely. It’s the type of sacrifice he’ll make for you.

“I can’t even feel my face, I’ve been smiling so hard all day!” You squeal, powdering your cheeks with more purposeless product – he thinks it’s all pointless. You’re radiant, even in the harsh lighting of his bathroom.

He offers a low grunt. What is he supposed to say? He’s not happy. And he’s not gonna pretend he is.

You either don’t notice or choose to ignore, continuing to doll yourself up to whatever standards you have for yourself. “I mean, he says he’s been skiing since he was 6. He’s practically an olympian.”

Mike scoffs.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he grumbles, shaking his head. “Can you hurry up?”

“Alright, grumpy. Calm down. I gotta do my lips and then I’m ready. Plus, nobody told you that you gotta stand here.”

A fleeting flush of fuchsia permeates his cheeks, but he looks down at his worn shoes to hide it. It’s true. He didn’t have to stand here. But if an angel was populating your bathroom you’d want to take a peek, would you not? That’s how he thinks you look. Angelic. Glowing from your soul, a content smile knitted on your lips. You might as well have a halo and wings – that heaven-sent aura is reinforced when you douse yourself in lingering washes of that sweet perfume that’s branded itself to you. He’d recognise that floral aroma anywhere, the way a shark detects a drop of blood amongst saline scattered seas.

“Okay, I’m ready. How do I look?”

Cruelest question of them all. “You look… fine. Good.”

A knot forms in your brow. “All this effort for that terrible answer?” Playful, but with a truthful undertone. Why do you value his opinion so much? He doesn’t want to assume anything.

“Well I’m not the person you’re dressing up for.” I wish I was. He doesn’t say the other words, but he thinks them so hard he’s half convinced if you were listening in the right spot, or looking into his eyes for long enough that you’d hear it anyway.

“Okay, okay, whatever. Let’s just get going, don’t wanna keep Mack waiting.”

Two letters. That’s all it would take. That’s all he’d have to swap to make it him.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

✩‧₊˚

Even if you aren’t aware, even if he did offer, he drives begrudgingly. He focuses as much as he can, on the road ahead and not your glistening figure beside him in the passenger seat, the very definition of temptation.

The mall parking lot is barren, a few gleaming cars scattered amongst the otherwise desolate area. He pulls into a space, sets the car in park, rakes in a greedy sigh of air.

“If anything happens, call me.”

You sneer teasingly. “Don’t be so pessimistic. It’s gonna be great, he could be my future husband, y’know.”

Yep. Mack, the 35 year old you've met online, who’s only notable talent seems to be skiing and his greatest life achievement to date is shooting a deer, whose head is mounted to the wall in his bedroom, typically visible in the background of his many instagram posts which involved his shirtless figure straining to flex his overly pronounced bulk. A match made in heaven. He wants to scream.

And how can you even tell him to not be pessimistic? How can you look him in the eyes and act like this moment hasn’t happened time after time, the point of no return before an evening spent crying in his arms as he reassures you that your failed dates are never your fault, even though by now it seems like you must be seeking out the same genre of shitty man if you’re this good at getting your heart broken. He’s sick of picking up the fragile little pieces of his bathroom floor, cutting himself on the shards of a heart that’ll never be his. You deserve more than these half-baked, single night romances. He could show you that.

“Yeah, sure,” he grits. “Future husband. Just call me, seriously.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll call you.”

And with that, you’re off, disappearing into the gaping mouth of the mall’s entrance, and he watches with an alkaline feeling growing in his stomach. Your hair is caught up in the wind like clothing on a washline and he thinks his hope is all drained out.

✩‧₊˚

Mike spends a good two hours back at his house. His movements feel vacuous, staring ahead at the screen, barely processing the raging garbage that masquerades as reality TV. The rain has picked up outside, licking at the window panes with a growing intensity.

He’s not happy about the jean skirt and tiny little tank top you’d clad yourself in prior to leaving, you’re probably frigid by now in the cold. You did however reassure him that Mack was gonna drive you home, or even worse, take you back to his place, so his stupid fucking elk head trophie could watch with it’s empty eyes while the pair of you fuck on the bed that his mom still has to make for him because he never can quite manage those fitted sheets, can he? Fucking manchild.

Shit. Mike’s feeling so so bitter. Maybe it’s because he’s finally realized that this is the dreaded pattern he’s going to have to endure with you until death. Or until he braves up and actually tells you that he’s been in love with you since the fifth day of second grade, when you mouthily confronted Jerry Murdoch and told him to give Mike his crayons back.

With a weak sigh, he turns the TV off with a click of the remote still encaptured in the loose hold of his fist, and decides to see if he can melt into any form of sleep – but the knock on his door prevents him from doing so.

He arises lethargically, not having much on his mind but the denial of his slumber as he shuffles over and turns the handle, but then, it’s you.

Fluttery lashes melted to black smudges beneath your eyes, a mixture of rainwater and tears, completely drenched and dripping all over his doormat, your body is trembling and you’re wracked with tiny little cries and he’s feeling so many emotions he believes he might implode.

He pulls you inside and into his arms, stroking your back in gentle, soothing motions, and it kills him that this has become routine. He’s angry. He’s sick of this.

“What happened this time?” He grunts softly.

“He didn’t even show up. He couldn’t even send a message as to why, Mike,” you sniffle into his warm chest, drunk off the even echo of his heartbeat.

A moment’s silence rots like aged fruit. He draws a breath in, then out, then in again.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

You crane your face upwards to meet him, instantly bathed in a nervous shiver when you see how serious he looks.

“My phone was dead.” Is all you can manage to mumble.

“What?” He’s pissed. “Why didn’t you charge it? You could have charged it there, they have outlets at the mall. Or you could’ve used someone else’s, so you didn’t have to walk home in the rain, because you’re drenched.”

“I don’t–”

“Y’know how dangerous it is to walk around alone in this shitty neighborhood? Half the street lights don’t even work, and I don’t even know any of my neighbors, or what kinda people walk around here at night.” He grumbles. “I shouldn’t have to tell you all this, I’m sick of explaining all this to you.”

You roll your eyes irritably, releasing yourself from his arms and crossing your own across your dripping wet torso. “How was I supposed to know he was gonna stand me up? You’re telling me I should just expect it?”

He blinks like a deer in headlights, silence settles into his flesh.

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

You scoff. “It’s what you implied.”

“It’s not what I—” He grumbles weakly under his breath, cutting himself off, deciding reasoning with you is somewhat of a useless attempt. “Why can’t you just listen to me?”

“What, charge my phone next time? Bring a raincoat? Yeah, great help, seriously, don’t know where I’d be without you,” your sarcasm hits like gunshot wounds to the teeth.

“Or maybe you should try to meet actual people, instead of fake ones from some stupid website.”

After a cold shiver bites up your spine, your expression deepens with defense. What is his fucking problem? “At least I try to get out of the house! At least I don’t spend every hour of every day moping around and feeling sorry for myself!”

The pair of you fight, sure, every good relationship, friend or romance or family or whatever should, but nothing like this. This is stone-set, it’s been coming for a while, the wild gesticulations and the pacing and the raised voices. It shakes the bones of the weakened house.

“Don’t,” Mike says with a furious edge, fists tightening and untightening like he’s about to take a swing at the wall, like this is going to end with bleeding knuckles nipped with shards of worn plaster. “Don’t throw that in my face, I do everything I can, for you and Abby. It’s not like I have a choice.”

“So what, you’re so fucking miserable in your own life that you have to try and control mine?”

“Control? You’re like my child! You don’t even know how to take care of yourself half the time, so yes, I try to help you not to make such shitty decisions!”

You scowl. “You’re not obligated to do anything for me, y’know Mike. Why do you keep me around if I’m that much of a chore for you!”

He snaps, the tension in his fists bleeding up into his throat, his mouth, the words clot behind his gums and suddenly they tumble out in a fury-fueled shout. “Because you’ve got no one else!”

You deflate, wilting like a flame without oxygen, and Mike deems the silence to be more cruel than anything else you’ve said to him tonight. He’s feeling everything and nothing all at once, the quiet crumbles around him like a burning building and he fears he’ll become rubble beneath the debris.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just… god, just–” His eyes flick to you, and then retreat back down to the faded living room carpet. He can’t swallow his guilt this time. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped like that.”

“It’s fine,” you say coldly, knuckling away an angry tear. The salt water is the trick of nostalgia, you’ve cried like this so many times. Your breakage of those promises to yourself. It’ll be different. And it never is.

“No. It’s not – I’m a dick, I just… I hate watching other people ruin your life. You deserve better.”

Better. What is better? Some twisted fantasy that some people are indulged with and others are left longing for. That you’re left longing for. You know he’s tired of the same bullshit that you force yourself through, convincing yourself of change, painting yourself up to be fit for presentation, and hoping that whoever you’ve leeched onto likes what they see, so you don’t have to feel so alone anymore. You’re oblivious, painfully so. Because Mike could plaster together the cracks in your splintering psyche, if you’d just let him in.

“Whatever, Mike. It’s true anyway.”

There’s a hole in his heart in the shape of your name. He begs you. Fill it. A part of him shatters at the defeat in your words — he’s crumbled you to the bone, to the marrow. He’ll build you back up. You deserve it.

“No it isn't. No it isn’t. You have me. You’ll always have me.”

A silence pervades; the look in his eyes is one of pleading, that you’ll stop and see what he’s offering you, that you’ll stop chasing your own tail, that you’ll stop the cycle.

“Mike…”

“And Abby.”

You indulge him.

“You have me. And you have Abby. And I know that’s… not much, but she loves you. So much. And I’m sorry, ‘cause I know I don’t say it enough, I don’t…. I don’t say how much you mean to me, but I just—”

“Mike.”

He wallows in the waters of your rain kissed eyes, the way your pupils pulse and the words are falling before he can swallow them back down.

“I love you.”

He gives you that stare. That stare that’s the color of black coffee, the look that you can feel, unearthing the graveyard of wilting feelings you’ve tried to bury, the heart that beats for him him him, lodged between the ivory bars of your ribcage. He maps you out with his eyes, he looks at you the way the sun hungers for daybreak.

He’s waiting. He’d wait forever.

“And… and seeing you with these… shitty people who don’t even care about you, it just…” He sighs exasperatedly, dragging a sweaty palm down his face.

His sentences can’t seem to finish themselves. This is harder than it looks in the movies. Harder than when he’s practiced in the mirror, when Abby’s walked in and giggled at him and told him to just fess up.

“You love me? Like…”

He looks up at you like a kicked puppy. “Yeah. I do.”

You’re beyond bewildered. He loves you. He loves you.

“What– but… you—”

“You don’t have to… say anything. I just, I can’t… I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t do it.”

You reach for his hand. It’s a little clammy, a little trembly, but it’s a perfect fit. Just like you.

“I love you too, Mike.”

What?

“You… do?”

He’s skeptical, but he’s also swooning. A stone man is slowly cracking.

“I just didn’t… didn’t think I could have you. I mean, you’re so… you’re everything, y’know? You’re a good brother, and you work so hard, and you’re… I’m just… I don’t think I deserve you,” you whisper, confessing. With a newfound stroke of confidence, he approaches, one hand snaking around to the small of your back, another on your cheek. He’s gentle. In his eyes, you’re porcelain. Precious. Fragile. At least, at this moment. But you love him too and that’s all he needs. It’s all he’s ever needed.

“You deserve everything.” He says it so quietly it’s barely audible. And then, nothing is audible because he’s carefully pulling your lips to his, linking you in every way, his hands tangle into your damp hair and he’s kissing you.

His lips chase yours in messy, uncalculated movements. He’s starting small. It’s been a while. And he’s gonna take his time with you. He’s gonna show you what you deserve. Soft sounds squeak past his lips as they flutter against yours, and you’re closer and closer and closer still, impossibly so.

Within moments he’s whisking you off to his bedroom, his hand tangled with yours, an interlace tight enough to cause ropeburn. His skin chafes with yours, and then he’s kissing you again atop his navy comforter.

He’s gentle, respectful, but you understand what he’s trying to tell you, what he’s been trying to tell you. He speaks through silken drags of his tongue, through the hand that holds your cheek steady— he feels as though he’s gripping the very cusp of a constellation. You taste like stardust. You glow like the waning moon.

He breathes heavily in the expanse of his throat, his pants have become tight and wet and filthy; he’s been subconsciously grinding down into your lap. You’re a little shaky and your pupils have darkened with lust and he is going to show you what you mean to him. What you’ve been missing.

His hand falls lower, into the slope of torso that dips into your hips. His eyes travel back and forth, searching, hunting for the desire that he feels mirrored back at him. Do you want this, the way he does? Do you? His hardened stare doesn’t speak loud enough. He elaborates.

“Can I… uh… do you wanna…?”

Do you want to? You need to.

“Shit, okay,” he croaks out, jaw tense and tight as he traces you beneath calloused fingers. You didn’t realize you said that out loud.

He’s endearingly awkward – you know from languid late-night conversations that he hasn’t done this a lot. Maybe even at all. But he’s sweet, so sweet, like lapping up sugar and feeling it dissolve on your tongue, feeling him dissolve on your tongue, giving you comfort and cavities.

“Can I take this off?” He asks nervously, fiddling with the hem of your camisole. A short nod, and he’s sliding it over your sweat-pricked figure, admiring your contours in the whisper of evening moonlight that bleeds through holes in his moth-eaten curtains. You’re perfect, and he knew you would be.

He caresses your skin gently, drunk on the mellow feeling of your bare stomach beneath his fingertips. Your bra is black, a little lace peering along the straps, your breasts spilling into the fabric. He reaches around your back, fumbling at the clasp. When the garment drops, his hands are replacing it before you can even blink.

“Beautiful,” he manages to get out, thumbing over your nipples.

“Mngh, Mike—”

“Sh. Just let me… just let me. Let me make you feel good. Please?” He grunts out under his breathless voice, and how could you deny such a request?

The moment you agree, he’s grabbing you by the thighs and tugging you towards him slightly, so your back is nearly flat against his mattress and he’s settling himself in the gap that you create for him.

Your skirt comes off first. Your panties are undeniably soused, his fingers trace the big wet spot that’s dripping all for him, teasing you through torturously thin cotton.

“Mike,” you mewl gently, fingers settling in his nest of chocolate curls that are damp with sweat. A firm tweak and he’s groaning, his voice melting away into nothing like hot tar.

“You’re so wet,” he mumbles to himself, like he’s never seen anything like it. Probably not in a while. His finger hooks beneath the waistband, pulls it out gently, and lets it go. It slaps against your hip bone and another fresh sound seeps from your lips.

“Mike, shit, please just do something—”

“Okay,” he whispers, more to himself than you, carefully sliding your panties from your waist, down past your ankles, and he’s tossing them to join the pile of clothes that has begun to collect on his bedroom floor.

You’re here, before him. The girl he waited for. Your soft flesh is glistening, clenching painfully around nothing, and he’s salivating at the sight of you. He pries your legs out further with his warm hands, leaving them to linger on your bare flesh for a few drawn out moments, before he claims what’s rightfully his.

He presses a trialing kiss to your clit, and your back curves delicately, fingers tightening their grasp in his hair. He moans into you at this action, and you, in turn, moan as well. Confidence creates itself in him with each little whimper that he gets you to release, and he’s answering back, hearing your cries, your calls of his name with his own unabashed exclamations of pleasure. This is just as good for him, as it is for you.

“Mike,” you whine gently, and he’s mumbling weak praise right into your cunt.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty. Wanted this for so long.”

It’s barely audible between his languid sucks; he’s lapping at your drooling entrance, fingers subtly creeping closer, up and along your thighs and settling right above your throbbing clit. He presses his thumb against it, tracing sinful circles against your bud— once, twice, and then you’re far too close to the edge.

“Oh, Mike I’m gonna come,” you choke out between gasps.

“Do it. Please.”

He’s begging you.

And you oblige. With a trembling sob, your thighs tense around his head, keeping him locked in place, capturing him and making sure he finishes the job, and oh does he plan to. When you soar, he’s still holding you in place, soothing the electric sparks pulsating throughout your body.

He savors your sounds, and when they stop coming, he presses a lingering peck on your inner thigh, stubble scraping at the sensitive dermis. He then raises his face to your level, the light coruscating off the filthy souvenir etched all over his face, your glittering arousal that he wears so proudly.

He steals a proper kiss from you, rubbing your side as a gentle comfort. He’s completely hard now, tenting his sweats, leaking against the fabric. You gingerly reach out, tracing what you assume to be the head of his cock, and he sags, boneless, against your touch.

“Fuck, baby I—”

“Baby?” You chuckle softly, still hazed from the candy-coated afterglow of your orgasm. The first of many, he hopes.

“Mngh— g… got a problem?” He grumbles softly, almost quivering as you begin to palm him with purpose.

“It’s out of character,” you tell him gently.

“Shit, can I be inside you?” He asks you, voice ripped raw.

And once again, Mike Schmidt leaves you breathless.

“Yeah. I need it. I need you.”

He groans, slipping off his pants and boxers without so much as another word from your swollen lips. He’s hard, angrily so, his cock pulses violently and a little whimper escapes through the crack in his bitten lips when it slaps against his stomach.

He’s stroking himself slowly, base to tip and then back again, collecting the pearls of precum that dribble from his slit. He’s never been so ready for something. For you. It’s all for you.

He’s holding you, thumbing your hip bones and gently nudging himself into your hole, cooing at every cry that crawls from the crevices of your throat. When he bottoms out, finally, it’s safe to say that he gets a little dumb. “Oh, shit, I’m not— not gonna last long, you’re so tight, shit…” He’s rambling a little. It’s cute.

A few wandering kisses land on you the way dandelion spores decorate a skyline – your cheek and your chin and your jaw, as he waits for you to let him move. You’re squeezing him for all he’s got and he’s three seconds away from spilling before he’s even so much as thrusted. You do this to him.

All those days, staring into your eyes and wondering if you’d ever see him the way you do, all those nights, stroking your hair and softening your saddened sobs after failed date after failed date. They’re all worth it.

You’re clamping down on him, warm and wet and wavering, and you’re exhaling softly through your nose and telling him to move, begging him to move, to make you feel good, and it’s what he does.

He pumps into you with passion, magnetized to your every movement. He’s satisfying a decade worth of insatiable craving, he’s chasing your hips with his. You end where he begins.

The headboard creaks and slams against thin plastered walls, one hand grips onto it with alabaster knuckles and the other one holds your hips for better leverage. He doesn’t need to say it, but each knocked kiss of his pelvis to yours is a silent I love you I love you I love you.

“Oh my god Mike,” you sob, and he slides himself deeper, hitting everywhere he wants to reach. Everywhere to make you quiver beneath him.

“You d—don’t know how long I’ve wanted this,” he moans lowly. “How many times I’ve imagined you like— like this.”

He’s blabbering, every stray thought that passes through his head is already blossoming on his tongue and out into the air before he can even think twice. Admittedly, you’re too blissed out in your own mind to really respond, but it’s arousing all the same.

“You’re so… so beautiful,” he’s flushed and he’s faltering, and you know he’s close before he even announces it.

“Shit, baby, I can’t— can’t last much longer,” he stammers, his bruising pace beginning to shake.

“Do it in me, Mike, please, please,” shit, are you trying to kill him? Your word is the only law he knows, and he’s wrapping his arms around your torso and diving his head in the elegant slope of your collarbone, biting down into the skin and spasming somewhere deep in your welcoming walls.

He tries to keep himself quiet, but it’s really a futile effort. His hips jut sporadically as he empties himself inside you, and the sudden flood of subtle heat is all it takes for you to topple over as well.

Bliss teeters back into reality after a seemingly ceaseless moment. He peels his head from its previous position to admire you, to stroke a stray lock of hair from your forehead and nervously greet it with a kiss.

He doesn’t let go of you. Not now, not ever, he thinks to himself. His arms snake around you tighter, and somehow it’s even more intimate after the fact. His bare chest collides with your back, his nose rests comfortably against the crown of your head. The pair of you follow each other into a dreamless sleep, safe in the sanctuary of a warm bed and an even warmer embrace.

He’s found his new familiar.

masterlist

✩‧₊

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