#sorry but as the one person in the entire world who watched the pilot and tried to find gifs for it on tumblr this is my right | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daryltwdixon · 9 days ago

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Summary: There is no choice, not really—just the weight of a decision that will haunt him for the rest of his days. Joel moves forward, because he has to, because stopping means losing, because if he looks back, he might see what he’s done.

warnings: psychological warfare and im really sorry. read with caution. Ellie hospital scene. It's a long one!

Joel

Joel gasps in a ragged breath as he breaks the surface, lungs burning, throat raw from swallowing half the damn river. His body is done, legs barely kicking, arms aching from the weight of what he’s dragging with him. The current fights to pull him back under, but he fights harder. He has to.

When he reaches the work ramp, the water slows, lapping lazily at the concrete as he collapses onto solid ground. His knees hit hard, pain ricocheting up his legs, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except the two unmoving bodies beside him.

Neither of you are breathing.

His hands tremble as he leans over both of you, chest heaving, mind spinning. Water drips from your clothes, puddling around you, your faces too still. Too pale. His heart is hammering against his ribs, panic flooding through his veins like a sickness.

He needs to move. He needs to do something, he can’t fail, he won’t fail. There's only so much time the brain can handle without oxygen.

But how is he supposed to choose? Who does he reach for first, who does he save first? It’s a paralyzing thought as he looks between you.

Ellie . She’s immune, she’s the only hope left for the world. What started as a promise to Tess, the reason Henry and Sam died, the reason he’s still moving after losing everything. If she dies here, if this is where it all ends, the Fireflies won’t have a cure. Humanity won’t have a chance.

But then there’s you.

And if he loses you, if he watches you slip away under his hands, he doesn’t know if there will be anything left of him to keep going.

The thought digs into his ribs, carves something hollow and aching in his chest, a terror deeper than anything he’s felt in twenty years. You aren’t just another person he’s had to protect, another responsibility thrown on his back. You’re something else entirely—something he wasn’t supposed to have, wasn’t supposed to let himself care about, but he does, God, he does.

His breath catches, his hands hovering, twitching, desperate to do something.

He has to pick. He has to pick.

And he doesn’t know if he can live with his choice.

There isn’t a clear path here, no choice between right and wrong anymore. His chest tightens as the seconds bleed away, each one too precious to waste. Then, finally, he moves, pressing his hands down, forcing his hands into the chest cavity. It’s robotic at this point, panic melting into auto pilot, too sick to his stomach to think about what he’s doing.

“Hands in the air!”

The voice barely registers.

“She’s not breathin’,” Joel mutters, barely aware he’s speaking. His hands don’t stop, pressing harder, trying to force the chest beneath his palms to rise again.

“Hands in the fucking air!”

Boots slam against pavement. Rifles shift. He doesn’t stop.

“Come on,” he pleads, voice raw, broken, desperate. “Please, please—”

The footsteps close in. He refuses to look up. Someone moves fast, a shadow rising over him.

The weapon swings.

There’s a bright light above him the next time his eyes crack open, stark and unforgiving. For a moment, he wonders if this is it—the moment they all talk about, the light at the end, the peace after all the hell. Maybe this is where it ends.

Then his mind catches up.

It slams into him all at once—your lifeless body, Ellie’s motionless form on the cement, the desperate press of his hands, the gasping prayers caught in his throat. His breath hitches, his body jerking like he’s still trapped in the current, still fighting to pull you both to safety.

His eyes snap open fully. His pulse pounds against his ribs as he scans the room, unfamiliar walls closing in around him. The air smells too clean. The sheets beneath him are stiff and thin, the bed hard and unforgiving. There’s a deep, pounding ache in the back of his skull, his limbs heavy in a way that makes his gut twist. Something isn’t right.

He looks to his right, and sees someone that, for all he knew, was dead.

“Welcome to the Fireflies,” Marlene says, sitting beside him in a chair, legs crossed, her expression unreadable.

She gives him a moment before saying, “Sorry about the…” he points to her head, reminding him of the source of the thrum in his skull, “They didn’t know who you were.”

Joel barely hears her. His throat is dry when he finally asks, “Ellie?”

“She’s alright. They brought her back.”

His stomach knots. He inhales, but the breath feels shallow. “And…?”

Marlene’s expression flickers—regret, maybe, but it’s distant, weighed down by something else.

“They were only told to bring in you and Ellie,” she says. “By the time I heard there was another girl… they told me she wasn’t moving, Joel. I’m sorry.”

His body stiffens, his back pressing against the hard mattress as he takes it in. He doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe. The words are there, clear as day, but his brain refuses to take them in fully.

You were already gone when they got there.

His hands curl into fists, nails digging into his palms, but the pain doesn’t pull him out of it. His mind lingers in the space where you might have had more time, where if someone—anyone—had just tried a little harder, you might be here. If he had just worked faster. If he had made the right call.

But Ellie is alive. Ellie made it.

Marlene’s voice cuts through the fog, like she’s trying to process it all herself. “You came all this way… How’d you do it?”

“It was Ellie,” he mutters, his voice hollow. “And…her. They fought like hell to get here.”

“Maybe it was meant to be…” He whispers it more to himself than her, like if he says it enough times, he’ll believe it.

Joel pushes himself up, ignoring the way his body protests, but then he realizes—there’s a guard by the door.

Marlene exhales, shaking her head. “You were the one person I never wanted to be in debt to.” She doesn’t look at him when she says it, just stares ahead, like she’s still working through the reality of it all. “I pretty much lost everything. Most of my crew died getting me here. And then you show up, and somehow we find you just in time to save her.”

Not in time enough. Not for both of you.

Joel squeezes his eyes shut.

Marlene glances at him, voice softer. “Maybe it was meant to be.”

The words don’t feel right coming from her. They don’t feel right at all.

Joel swings his legs off the side of the bed. “Take me to her.”

“You don’t have to worry about Ellie anymore,” Marlene says. “We’ll take care of her—”

“I worry,” Joel snaps. “Just let me see her. Please.”

Marlene’s arms cross over her chest. Her eyes flicker to the guard. “We can’t. She’s being prepped for surgery.”

Something sharp lodges itself in Joel’s gut, cutting straight through whatever daze had been dulling his senses. The exhaustion, the grief, the weight of loss—all of it clears in an instant.

His voice is tight. “The hell you mean, surgery?”

“The doctors tell me that the Cordyceps, the growth inside her, has somehow mutated. It’s why she’s immune.”

Joel feels the guard shift behind him, closing in, but he barely registers it.

Marlene doesn’t flinch. “Once they remove it, they’ll be able to reverse engineer a vaccine.” She exhales, like she’s still convincing herself of the importance of it all. “A vaccine, Joel.”

His mind stumbles over the words, trying to put the pieces together. “But it grows all over the brain.”

Marlene just looks at him.

“It does.”

A thick silence settles between them.

His chest rises and falls, the pieces of the puzzle clicking together with sickening clarity.

“Find someone else,” Joel demands, voice cold.

“There is no one else.”

“Listen,” he growls, teeth clenched, hands curling into fists. “You’re gonna show me where—”

The guard moves before he can finish, slamming him down, pinning his arms behind his back as his chest hits the floor.

Joel grunts, pain sparking across his ribs.

“Stop,” Marlene says, and as Joel groans, pressing against the cold tile, she continues, “I get it. But whatever it is you think you’re going through right now is nothing compared to what I have been through.”

His jaw clenches so tight he feels his teeth creak.

Oh , fuck her .

Didn’t she get it? He was losing both of you. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

“I knew her since she was born,” Marlene’s voice cracks, just slightly, but she keeps going. “I promised her mother I would look after her. No one understands more than me.”

Joel barely hears her over the blood pounding in his ears.

“Then why are you letting this happen?” His voice is hoarse, nearly pleading.

“Because this isn’t about me,” she says, jabbing a finger into her own chest, anger flashing across her face. “Or even her. There is no other choice here.”

Joel exhales slowly, shoulders rising and falling as he pushes himself up just enough to sit back on his heels. His voice is dark, low, edged with something dangerous.

“Yeah,” he growls. “You keep tellin’ yourself that bullshit.”

Marlene straightens, glancing at the guard without a second thought. “March him out of here. He tries anything, shoot him.”

Joel doesn’t move, doesn’t fight, just glares at her from the floor.

She watches him for a moment, something almost unreadable flickering in her expression before she turns to leave. Just before stepping through the door, her voice lowers.

“Don’t waste this gift, Joel.”

Then she’s gone.

Joel stands there, Marlene’s words ringing in his head. Don’t waste this gift, Joel. Like this was some grand gesture, like they were offering him something instead of taking everything from him. Like he had a choice.

But what other fucking choice was there?

Going back to Jackson alone? Failing the both of you? Failing everything he had fought for, everything he had clawed his way through hell to protect? He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t.

The guard orders him up. Then a second time, the barrel of a gun pointing down at him.

Joel obeys, moving slowly, forcing his mind to focus through the pounding in his skull. He needs time. He needs his weapons.

The gun shoves harder into his back now, an irritated breath hissing through the Firefly’s teeth. "Give me an excuse."

Joel tilts his head slightly. "Which way?" His voice is quiet, measured, just enough distraction.

The man jerks his gun to the left. Joel follows.

The hospital is dim, the only light flickering weakly over the center desk. It looks abandoned, half-dead already. But something catches his eye as he passes—a bag. His bag. His weapons.

His fingers twitch. He watches them until the wall cuts off his view, then slows his pace, working it through in his head.

The Firefly bristles behind him. "What the fuck are you doin’? Keep walkin’."

Joel doesn’t answer. He waits.

The second the guard’s gun nudges his back again, he moves.

It’s fast—an elbow thrown back, a sharp crack as it connects. The gunshot rings out, echoing through the halls, but it slams harmlessly into the wall. Joel is already turning, wrenching the gun from the Firefly’s hands, twisting his arm, shoving him back. The man grunts, dazed, and Joel slams the barrel against his face. Once. Twice. The Firefly’s head snaps back, blood splattering the wall.

Joel shoves his forearm into his neck, pinning him, pressing the gun to the man’s groin.

"Where’s the operating room?" His voice is low, controlled, cold.

The man grits his teeth and stays silent. Joel exhales through his nose, then pulls the trigger. The Firefly howls , sagging against him, body crumpling.

" Where ?" Joel growls again.

Still nothing.

Joel squeezes the trigger again.

"WHERE?"

The man’s head lolls, breath ragged, face twisted in agony. His knees buckle, Joel’s arm the only thing keeping him upright.

"Top floor," he chokes out. "Far end."

Joel lets him drop. A moment later, he doesn’t hesitate, firing a final shot into the man’s skull.

He grabs his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder, hands locking around his rifle just as the sound of footsteps barrels down the hallway. More Fireflies. More obstacles.

Joel doesn’t think. He just moves .

He pushes forward, steps calculated, rifle raised. The first Firefly barely sees him before he drops. Then another. And another.

One by one, he clears them.

His mind is razor-sharp, focused, his grip steady, his body moving on instinct. But your face keeps creeping at the edges, pulling at his resolve, yanking him back to the cement, to the cold water pooling beneath you, to the way your hair had fanned out, damp and lifeless, as he made his choice.

He shakes it off. He has to. He can’t lose both of you. He has to get to Ellie.

More bodies fall, but he doesn’t care. He isn’t leaving until he finds her. If he couldn’t save you, he would save her. He couldn’t leave alone.

His boots pound against the linoleum, moving faster, fueled by something deeper than adrenaline, something darker. The halls flicker in and out of shadow as the emergency lights struggle to stay alive. He follows the signs—pediatrics—how fucking ironic that they’d still use the same rooms meant for saving children, even now, in this ruined world.

It’s quieter here. The distant echo of gunfire fades, replaced by the steady, rhythmic beeping of machines. He moves down the hall, toward the bright glow spilling out from the small glass window of a red door. His stomach twists as he swallows thickly. The scrub-in room is sterile, lined with sinks, the scent of disinfectant cutting through the blood drying on his skin.

Ellie is on the operating table, too still, too pale, wires and tubes snaking around her small frame. His chest tightens. She looks lifeless. Just like—

No. Not now. He shuts it down.

There are voices. A murmur of surprise and confusion as he steps inside. The second the door swings open, the surgeon’s head snaps up.

“What are you doing?!” the man exclaims, instinctively moving back. His hands fumble for something, grabbing a scalpel—a scalpel , like that could stop Joel now.

He pushes through.

“I won’t let you take her!” the doctor shouts, voice cracking with desperation. “This is our future! Think of all the lives we’ll save!”

But those lives won’t be Ellie’s. They won’t be your life.

Joel moves forward, slow, measured. The surgeon bristles, stepping back until there’s nowhere left to go.

“Don’t come any closer! I mean it!”

Joel barely hears him. There’s only red. The bright light of the room turns crimson in his vision, flooding everything. His body moves before his mind even registers it.

The scalpel is in his hands. Then it’s in the man’s neck.

A sickening gurgle fills the air as the doctor stumbles, hands flying up to the wound as blood pulses between his fingers. He slumps to the floor, his body twitching before going still.

“No!” a nurse screams, voice sharp with horror. “You fucking animal!”

Another one hisses at her to shut up. Joel doesn’t care.

He’s already at Ellie’s side, unhooking her, pulling tubes from her skin, tossing aside the oxygen mask suffocating her small face. His hands are shaking, but he works quickly, murmuring low as he cradles her limp body in his arms.

"Come on, baby girl. I got you, I got you."

Then the alarms begin to blare.

A loud, shrieking wail rips through the hospital, the red emergency lights flashing in jagged bursts. Shadows move beyond the glass doors—flashlights cutting through the darkness, the rapid stomp of boots, Fireflies closing in.

He needed to move. Now.

With Ellie secured against his chest, Joel turns and runs.

You

It’s warm.

Not just warm—golden, like the kind of sunlight that filters through leaves in late summer, shifting and flickering in the breeze. The air is soft, thick with something comforting, familiar, wrapping around you like a heavy blanket. You hear the faint rustling of trees, the slow hum of cicadas in the distance. Somewhere close, a creek bubbles, the gentle rush of water against stone.

You’re lying in the grass, the blades tickling your skin, the warmth of the sun pressing against your cheeks. You should get up. You know that. But your limbs feel heavy, too relaxed, too comfortable.

Then, fingers brush against your temple.

A slow, careful touch, tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ear. It’s gentle, warm. Safe.

“Hey,” Joel murmurs, voice low and steady. “Come on now, sweetheart.”

You hum, eyes fluttering, but they don’t open. Not yet. Just a little longer. Let me sleep.

His thumb trails lightly across your cheek. “Need you to wake up, baby.”

Something in his voice makes your chest ache. There’s something wrong there, something pleading beneath the softness.

You want to stay here. You want to keep breathing in the warm air, feeling the sun, listening to the steady rhythm of his voice.

But then his hand is slipping away.

No.

You reach for him, but the warmth starts to pull back, the golden light fading . The sound of the creek dulls, the hum of cicadas fading into something else—something colder.

“Joel,” you murmur, voice thick, slow, like you’re trying to hold onto something slipping through your fingers.

“Wake up,” he says again, but his voice is changing, shifting, deeper now, rougher.

Then everything disappears.

Suddenly it’s freezing.

Your body seizes as cold slams into you, sharp and biting, cutting through the softness in an instant. Your chest tightens, lungs spasming, and then—

You’re coughing, choking, water spilling from your mouth as your body jerks violently, muscles convulsing as you fight for air. Your fingers scrape against rough cement, nails dragging as you push yourself onto your side, gasping, spluttering, your throat raw, your ribs aching.

You blink, forcing your eyes open, the dim light of the tunnel swimming in and out of focus. Your limbs feel leaden, frozen through, but you push up onto shaky elbows, sucking in a breath that burns all the way down.

Your heart is pounding.

The warmth is gone and so is Joel. Where was he? Where was Ellie?

Your stomach knots, panic rising through the exhaustion. You scramble up, your body swaying, head spinning as you look around, searching for them.

But the tunnel is silent, just the sound of water lapping against the cement of the tunnel. You grab your backpack, thankfully still here with your bow and arrows, and begin to move.

Then you see it, a glint of metal in the grass. Your breath catches as you stagger forward, fingers wrapping around it before you even register what it is. Ellie’s pistol. Your grip tightens around the handle, stomach twisting. She wouldn’t have left this, not on purpose.

Your breath comes quicker now, uneven, your pulse thrumming against your skin as you turn, eyes lifting toward the skyline.

The hospital stands in the distance, stark and still against the gray sky, its windows shattered, its walls stained. They had to be there, didn’t they?

The wind is sharp as you move forward, pushing through the lingering dampness clinging to your skin. Each step is heavy, sluggish, but you force yourself to keep moving, the weight of exhaustion trying to drag you down. The hospital looms in the distance, cold and silent.

You keep your grip firm on Ellie’s pistol, fingers tightening and loosening as you scan the building for movement. Nothing. No signs of people except the lights glowing in the upper windows. No signs of Joel or Ellie. But they had to be here. They had to be.

The place is too quiet, too still, but that only sets your nerves on edge. Then you hear the voices.

You freeze, pressing yourself behind an abandoned car near the entrance, listening.

“…can’t reach anyone upstairs.” A man’s voice, low and tense. “All units should be responding, but I don’t know what the hell’s going on up there.”

“There were gunshots. You think it’s them?”

“I don’t know, but keep your eyes open. If they’re here, we put them down.”

Your pulse spikes. Joel.

He’s still inside. He’s fighting. Why is he fighting? What went wrong?

You duck lower, peering through the broken-out window of the car. Two Firefly soldiers stand near the side entrance, rifles ready, scanning the area. They’re blocking the way you were planning to go, and you know you aren’t strong enough to take them both in hand-to-hand combat. You barely have the strength to hold yourself up, let alone fight someone trained.

But distance. Distance you can work with.

You ease Ellie’s pistol into your waistband, keeping your breath steady. If you miss, you’re dead. If you alert the other Fireflies, you’re dead. There’s no second chance.

Carefully, you pull your bow from your shoulders, fingers brushing over the few remaining arrows. Not much left. You grab one, nock it, draw back.

The first man drops before his partner even registers what’s happened. A clean shot, straight through the throat. His body crumples soundlessly to the ground.

The second turns, eyes going wide, mouth opening to shout—

You loose the next arrow before he gets the chance, and the thud of his body barely makes a sound.

You don’t wait to see if anyone heard. You run. More voices crackle over their walkies, static-filled and frantic.

“ —we need backup now! He’s got the girl—”

Gunfire erupts from inside the building, but you keep moving, ducking low, keeping to the perimeter as you round the building. You’re almost to the parking garage when something grabs you from behind.

A thick arm wraps around your throat, yanking you backward, your vision tilting as you struggle. Your lungs seize, hands clawing at the arm crushing against your windpipe. He’s strong, too strong , and panic explodes in your chest as you thrash, kicking wildly.

Then you remember your knife.

Your fingers scramble for the handle strapped to your hip, yanking it free and plunging it backward, twisting the blade deep into his thigh.

The man startles, his grip loosening just enough for you to tear free, stumbling backward as you gasp in air. He’s still moving, staggering, reaching for you, so you don’t hesitate. You grip the knife tighter and slam it into his throat.

He gurgles, then slumps to the pavement.

You shake out your trembling hands, yanking the blade free, wiping the blood on your jeans. Your breaths come sharp and ragged, but you don’t stop to dwell on it. You won’t let the haze that had covered you for weeks in guilt come over you now.

The parking garage entrance is open, a long ramp sloping downward into the dark. You slip inside, sticking to the walls, careful to avoid making noise. The air is heavy, thick with the scent of oil and damp concrete, the overhead lights flickering dimly.

Somewhere above you, voices echo.

You follow them.

The stairwell is narrow, the metal steps cold beneath your fingers as you climb, moving slowly, cautiously. The closer you get, the clearer the voices become.

Then you hear him. The voice you would follow anywhere, even if it was into the dark.

Your stomach knots as you reach the top landing, peering through the crack in the door. He’s there, moving steadily, his arms wrapped around Ellie’s limp form as she wears a thin, blue covering, holding her close to his chest. Her head rests against him, her body slack, and something deep inside you twists so hard it nearly knocks the breath from your lungs.

Then you see the gun in the woman’s hand. It’s trained on him, steady and unwavering.

She stands just a few feet away, her stance firm, both hands gripping the pistol as she keeps her aim locked on Joel.

Your breath catches, the weight of the moment settling over you like a vice, pressing down on your ribs, squeezing your lungs. You swallow hard, moving to switch your bow for Ellie’s pistol, gripping it tightly in your hands as you desperately try to work out your next move.

“It ain’t for you to decide,” Joel growls.

“It’s what she’d want,” the woman says, circling him. You push deeper into the shadows, but she doesn’t see you, her gaze is locked on him, “You can still do the right thing here.” the woman says, holding her hands up, the gun beginning to point away from him.

And then you step out of the shadows, and pull the trigger. The shot rings out, splitting the air like a crack of thunder.

The woman stumbles, a sharp, gasping breath hitching in her throat as the bullet tears through her shoulder. She lurches forward, her pistol clattering to the ground as her hands fly to the wound, crimson blooming against her shirt.

Joel jumps back, and you can see the panic flare. He’s ready to fight anyone who comes in his way. He shifts away from Marlene, gripping Ellie tighter to himself, and grabbing his own gun and pointing it out from under her knees.

He twists around to face the threat, and his gaze lifts and meets yours.

For a long, few heartbeats, he doesn’t move. He just stares at you like he’s seeing a ghost, like he’s trying to convince himself you’re standing there, real and breathing. His chest rises and falls in ragged, uneven breaths, his arms locked around Ellie, his body trembling with something too big for words.

Your name slips from his lips, barely a whisper, his voice hoarse, breaking on the syllables like it physically hurts him to say it. His knees threaten to buckle, like his body is giving up on him, but he forces himself to stay upright, forces himself to hold onto Ellie because he has to.

Your eyes narrow on him, had he thought–

“What the hell is going on?” you whisper, stepping toward him, heart hammering.

Your eyes drop to Ellie, her small, limp frame cradled against him, her face pale beneath the flickering parking lot lights. Panic claws its way up your throat as you reach for her, your hands hovering over her body, searching for signs of injury.

“She—she’s okay,” Joel breathes, like he can barely believe it himself.

“She’s not supposed to be.”

The voice comes from behind you, sharp and raw with pain.

You turn to see the woman on the floor, her hand clutching her bleeding shoulder, her face twisted in something between agony and fury.

“He’s killing everyone,” she rasps, glaring up at you.

Your stomach tightens. You look at her, then at Joel. He shakes his head immediately, a storm building behind his eyes, anger and pain clashing so violently across his face that it scares you.

“He’s stealing her because he’s a selfish animal,” the woman spits, voice cracked and ragged. “He’d rather save her than the entire world.”

Joel only looks at you.

“Baby,” he whispers, his voice desperate, pleading, willing you to listen to him . You swear you can almost see tears in his eyes now, “Please. They were going to kill her. You have to understand.”

Your breath catches. Your throat feels tight, dry, like the walls are closing in around you. “Kill her?”

He nods, but the woman speaks before he can.

“It’s what she would’ve wanted, Joel, and you know it,” she says, her voice raw. “She would’ve wanted to save everyone, even if it meant sacrificing herself for it.”

Your head spins, everything shifting at once.

Ellie…Ellie would’ve had to die to create a cure?

You look down at her again, at her peaceful, unconscious face, your hands tightening into fists at your sides.

Disbelief and desperation crash into you like a tidal wave. You’re not entirely sure who the whirlwind of feelings is pointed towards at the moment. Joel was taking her. Taking her from her life’s purpose, from what she was meant to do, what she had fought so hard to become. They were going to make a cure. They were going to save everyone.

But to do that, they had to kill her.

Your pulse pounds in your ears as you look back at him. His grip on Ellie is ironclad, his knuckles white where they clutch at her shirt. His jaw is clenched, his entire body coiled so tightly you think he might snap apart.

And suddenly, you see it.

The way his breath shudders, the way his fingers tremble against Ellie’s skin, the way his eyes shine with something close to madness—he couldn’t lose her.

Not again. Not after Sarah. This wasn’t just about Ellie. It wasn’t just about a cure or a choice. This was about a father who had already buried one daughter and refused to bury another.

Your stomach twists. Your chest tightens. You don’t know what to feel.

But you know what to do.

“Get her in the car,” you say, pointing to the truck behind him.

Joel doesn’t hesitate.

He moves, carrying Ellie toward the vehicle, his arms still locked around her. You don’t look at him. You don’t let yourself think.

“No!” the woman cries from the ground, her bloody hand reaching toward you, desperate, grasping at anything . “Please, don’t—”

But Joel doesn’t let her finish. He sets Ellie down and turns, moving so fast you barely register it, “You’re just gonna come after her.” he says with eerie quietness.

Then the gunshot shatters the silence, and the woman’s body jerks, then slumps, her outstretched hand falling limp against the blood-slick floor.

Joel exhales, shoulders heaving, his grip tightening around the gun as if it’s the only thing keeping him upright. His chest rises and falls in sharp, ragged bursts, his head tilting back as he drags in a breath like he’s trying to steady himself. But there’s nothing steady about him right now.

He turns to you.

His eyes are wild, his face drawn tight with something raw, something too big, too heavy to carry alone. The way he looks at you sends something sharp through your chest, something painful, something close to grief.

“Sweetheart,” he breathes, his voice breaking, barely more than a whisper as he reaches for you.

And then his arms are around you.

It’s not gentle—it’s desperate, crushing, pulling you so tight against him that for a second, the air is knocked from your lungs. His fingers dig into your back, gripping you like he’s trying to convince himself you’re real, that this isn’t just another cruel trick of the world taking from him again. His breath shudders against your hair, his whole body trembling with something he can’t name, something he doesn’t even try to hold back.

“I thought—” His voice catches, cracking in a way you’ve never heard before. “I thought you were gone.”

Your chest clenches. You don’t know what to say, don’t even know what you can say. So you don’t. Instead, your arms wrap around him, pressing your face into his chest. He’s warm, so warm, his heart pounding hard beneath your cheek, his entire body still coiled tight like he can’t fully let go. Your fingers fist into the back of his jacket, holding him just as much as he’s holding you.

Neither of you move.

Then you hear more voices. They cut through the moment, distant at first, but quickly getting closer. Heavy boots against pavement. Shouting. Orders being given.

Joel stiffens, his arms tightening around you for just a second longer before he pulls back, his hands lingering on your arms like he doesn’t want to let go. His eyes dart past you, his expression shifting instantly, something hard and determined settling over his face.

“We gotta go,” he says, voice low, urgent.

You nod, stepping back, wiping a shaky hand to your tear streaked face as you turn toward the truck. Joel is already moving, carefully setting Ellie’s legs up in the backseat, his jaw tight as he checks her over one last time. The sound of approaching voices is growing louder, closing in fast.

Your fingers fumble as you grip the passenger door handle, heart hammering as you climb inside. Joel slams the driver’s side shut just as he twists the key in the ignition, the truck sputtering to life. Thank god it runs.

Joel is throwing it into gear suddenly, the tires screeching against the pavement as you speed out of the garage. The hospital vanishes behind you, swallowed by the night.

Joel’s hands grip the wheel, knuckles tight, his eyes locked on the dark stretch of road ahead. The truck hums beneath you, the only sound cutting through the thick silence that’s settled between you.

You sit stiffly in the passenger seat, arms crossed, still chilled to the bone, but you can’t tell if it’s from the cold or from everything that just happened. Your fingers twitch against your thigh, your mind racing in circles, trying to grasp the full weight of what you just walked into.

Joel exhales sharply, rubbing a hand down his face, the muscles in his jaw twitching. His body is wound tight, like he’s still ready for a fight, like he hasn’t let himself breathe since the moment he ran out of that hospital with Ellie in his arms.

You glance at her now, curled in the backseat, her chest rising and falling with steady breaths, unaware of what’s just happened. Of what Joel has done to keep her here.

The road stretches ahead, endless and empty.

Whatever it is, whatever he’d done… it would change everything, but it wouldn’t change this.

You shift slightly, leaning toward him. For a moment, he doesn’t react, his mind still miles away, lost in thoughts you can’t begin to unravel. But then, after a beat, he exhales, his grip on the wheel loosening just enough. His arm lifts, hesitates, then opens to you.

That’s all you need.

You move into him, pressing against his side, wrapping your arm around his middle. He’s warm, solid, the heat of his body seeping into your frozen skin, grounding you like it always does.

Joel sighs, the sound low, tired. His hand comes down to rest on your back, wide and steady, fingers pressing into the fabric of your shirt like he needs the reassurance that you’re really there.

“Joel?” Your voice is small, uncertain.

“Hm?” he grunts. Then, like he only just realizes you’re talking to him, he pulls in a breath, his palm splaying flat against your back, holding you closer.

“Yeah, baby?”

You hesitate, feeling the weight of what you’re about to ask settle thick between you. The warmth of his body, the way he’s holding you, it almost makes you want to let it go. To pretend, for just a little while longer, that you don’t want to know the answer.

But you need to hear him say it.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

His body stiffens against you. His eyes flicker down, just for a second, before returning to the road ahead. His grip tightens just slightly against your back, and you can feel the shift in him, the way he withdraws just a little—not from you, but from the moment.

You don’t let him retreat.

“I want the truth,” you say, firmer this time. “I can handle it.”

He exhales sharply through his nose, his jaw working, but he doesn’t answer right away. The silence stretches between you, tense, filled with all the things he isn’t saying.

Then, slowly, he leans his head down onto yours. His breath is steady, but the weight of him resting against you feels different than before—like an apology, like a confession without words.

“I know you can,” he murmurs, voice rough, low.

You wait, holding onto the warmth of him, listening to the hum of the tires against the road, waiting for him to speak again.

When he finally does, it’s quiet.

“I saved her,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

But somehow you know that’s only the half of it.

You watch him for a long moment before you say: "From the beginning,"

The road stretches endlessly ahead, bathed in the soft light of morning. Hours have passed in near silence, the weight of everything settled heavy in the truck. Your hands grip the wheel now, your body aching from exhaustion, but the need to keep moving outweighs it.

Joel sits beside you, his posture slack but tense in ways only you would notice. His head rests in his hand, elbow braced against the door, his eyes a thousand miles away like he’s trying to keep his thoughts from spilling over. You glance at him, and he exhales deeply, the sound barely audible over the hum of the truck.

Then, a rustling from the backseat.

Your breath stills. Your fingers flex around the steering wheel.

Joel hears it too. His head lifts immediately, eyes flickering over his shoulder before shifting back toward Ellie, something raw and bracing settling in his expression.

Behind you, Ellie stirs. She groans, shifting sluggishly against the seat.

“The hell am I wearing?” she mutters, her voice groggy.

Joel turns in his seat, his voice softer than you’ve heard in days. “Just take it easy,” he says. “The drugs are still wearing off.”

Ellie blinks sluggishly, disoriented, her limbs heavy from whatever they pumped into her system. You can see it in her face, the confusion settling in, the questions forming.

“What happened?” she whispers.

The air in the truck shifts. You knew it was coming, knew the second she woke up she’d ask. But hearing it out loud so soon sends a sharp twist through your chest. Your gaze flickers to Joel. He’s looking down at his seat, his fingers twitching before he forces himself to sit forward again, watching the road like it might give him the right words.

Then, he speaks.

“We found the Fireflies,” he says, voice steady, measured. “Turns out there’s a whole lot more like you, Ellie.”

The words settle like a stone in your gut.

“People that are immune—dozens of them,” he continues, pausing briefly. “Ain’t done a damn bit of good… They just—”

He hesitates. Just for a second.

Then he turns back to her, eyes softening, but his voice firm.

“They stopped lookin’ for a cure.”

You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, inhaling through your nose before focusing back on the road. You can’t bear to look at her, can’t bear to see the way she processes it.

She turns slowly, facing the rear of the car, her back now to both of you.

You swallow thickly, shifting in your seat, the weight of it pressing harder into your ribs.

“We’re headed home now,” you say, voice quieter than you meant it to be.

Joel looks back at her, something unreadable in his expression. A long silence stretches between you all, the hum of the tires on the road the only thing filling the space.

Then, his voice—low, almost inaudible.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

But Ellie doesn’t turn back.

The car hood slams down with a sharp metallic clang, echoing through the empty stretch of road. You scoff, wiping your hands against your jeans, smearing grease and dirt into the fabric. The truck had held out for as long as it could, but after hours of hard driving, it had finally given up on you.

“Looks like we’re walkin’ the rest of the way,” you say, shaking your head.

Joel comes around the front, glancing at the road sign half-covered in ivy. Jackson City, next right. The paint is weather-worn, but the words are still clear enough.

“Should be a straight shot through, anyway,” he says.

You nod, adjusting your pack as he takes the lead, stepping off the abandoned road and into the thick woods beyond.

The transition is instant; gone is the cracked pavement, replaced with the uneven, damp earth of the forest floor. The trees are massive, their trunks stretching high into the afternoon light, patches of blue sky barely visible through the tangled branches. A mix of pine and bare oaks crowd the space, the ground littered with dead leaves, rotting wood, and scattered patches of bright green moss. The air is cool, crisp with the lingering bite of winter, but there’s a freshness to it, the first hints of spring creeping back into the world.

As you walk, the sounds of civilization disappear entirely. There’s no hum of an engine, no wind rattling through empty cars. Instead, it’s just the woods, the crunch of boots against damp leaves, the distant rush of a river cutting through the valley below, the occasional rustle of a bird taking flight from the canopy above.

The trek is slow, the terrain uneven, but Joel moves with ease, pushing past overgrown ferns and low-hanging branches like he’s done this a thousand times before. You follow close behind, stepping over fallen logs, climbing small rocky slopes, your boots sinking into the soft patches of dirt still thawing from the last snow.

After a while, you find yourself walking alongside Ellie.

She’s been quiet for most of the trip, but when she finally speaks, her voice is so soft, so uncertain, that you almost don’t catch it.

“Were you there?”

At first, you don’t react, thinking she might not be speaking to you at all. But when you glance at her, she’s already looking at you, waiting.

There’s something in her expression—not just curiosity, but something deeper. A challenge. A plea. Like she’s giving you the chance to be honest before she even knows if she can trust the answer.

Your breath tightens in your chest.

You shake your head. “When we went underwater in those tunnels, I think I almost drowned. I don’t really remember much.” You keep your voice light, simply recalling everything that she knew, like the weight of this conversation isn’t pressing into your ribs. Stepping carefully over a patch of exposed roots, you sigh. “Then I woke up and the two of you were gone.”

Ellie listens. Hard.

Her boots scuff against a patch of damp moss, but she keeps her gaze ahead, her fingers curling into the sleeves of her jacket. You can feel her hanging onto every word, studying the way you say it, the space between the things you do and don’t tell her.

Your hands ball into fists at your sides as you glance up at Joel ahead, weighing the right words.

“I found you when Joel was already getting you into the car,” you say carefully. That much is true. And right now, the truth—or at least, parts of it—is all you can allow yourself to give her.

Ellie nods slightly, absorbing it. Then, after a pause—

“Did he tell you what happened?”

You hesitate for just a second before nodding. “Yeah, yeah. I met…” you pause, not even knowing the woman’s name that you shot, “I met a someone there. She was with him.”

Ellie’s face shifts with recognition, “Marlene?” she asks. “She knew my mom too.”

You glance at her, watching how carefully she’s watching you.

“Must’ve been her then, yeah,” you say, choosing each word with painstaking precision. “Joel said she was—is—the leader of the Fireflies.” The correction slips out, accidental and you hope she doesn’t catch it.

Ellie doesn’t press you further.

Instead, she just nods, pulling her jacket tighter around herself as she steps over a fallen branch. Quiet again.

The two of you keep moving, the only sound between you the rustling of wind through the leaves, the distant trickle of a stream winding somewhere nearby. The trees seem to stretch on forever, the mountains looming in the distance, their peaks still dusted in winter’s last snow.

Joel remains ahead, moving with a silent focus. And Ellie stays beside you, thoughtful, distant.

You don’t know if she believes you.

You come up upon a crest in the hills, where the trees thin out, and the view opens wide. Below, the valley stretches out beneath you, Jackson nestled safely between the mountains. Smoke curls from chimneys, dotting the landscape with the unmistakable signs of life.

Joel exhales beside you, the tension in his shoulders loosening just a little as he takes in the sight. His voice is softer when he speaks.

“You know, I used to take hikes like these with Sarah all the time,” he says, his eyes still on the town below. “I think you both would’ve liked her.” There’s a pause, a faint, almost wistful breath before he adds, “She would’ve liked you.”

Your eyes find his, and you can’t help the small, warm smile that tugs at your lips. He’s letting you in. Talking about Sarah like this, openly, with both of you, it means something. A comfort settles deep in your chest, softening the sharp edges of the last day and a half.

“Yeah,” Ellie says, her voice quieter. “I bet we would’ve.”

Joel nods, his gaze lingering on the valley a moment longer before he moves forward, leading the way toward the dam. You follow, stepping carefully over the uneven terrain, the cold, damp earth soft beneath your boots. Small streams snake through the land, feeding into the massive dam that marks the entrance to Jackson.

It’s close now. You’re so close.

But then—

“Hey, wait,” Ellie calls softly.

You and Joel stop immediately, turning to her.

She stands there, hands fidgeting together, her shoulders drawn tight, her face etched with something so raw it makes your stomach drop.

She sighs, almost more of a groan, rubbing her hands over her face before finally speaking.

“Back in Boston...back when I was bitten. I wasn’t alone.”

Your brows furrow as you listen, feeling something shift in the air, something heavy.

Ellie keeps going, her voice steady but distant, like she’s pulling the words from somewhere deep inside herself. “My best friend was there. And she got bit too. We didn’t know what to do so… she says, ‘Let’s wait it out, y’know? We can be all poetic and lose our minds together.’”

She pauses, swallowing hard, her fingers curling back into fists.

“I’m still waiting my turn.”

Joel takes a step closer, his expression tense. “Ellie—”

But she isn’t done.

“Her name was Riley, and she was the first to die.” Her voice hardens, gains strength, even as pain flickers behind her eyes. “And then it was Tess. And then Sam.”

The words drive a splinter deep into your gut.

Tess.

Your breath catches. Your mind reels, searching through old conversations, through Joel’s words back at Bill’s, in the kitchen, arms crossed, walls up. He hadn’t told you the truth. He never told you she died. But what had he said? Your brain tries to search for it, for what he told you that had happened, but for all you know it was a made up story.

You glance at him now, looking for something, for anything, in his expression. But he doesn’t look at you. His eyes stay on Ellie, his jaw clenched tight.

Ellie lets out a slow breath, eyes burning.

“None of that is on you,” Joel says firmly.

Ellie shakes her head, frustrated. “No, you don’t understand.”

Joel folds his arms over his chest, his voice gentler now, but still steady. “I struggled for a long time with survivin’,” he tells her, his expression softening. “And you. No matter what, you keep findin’ somethin’ to fight for.”

His arms unfold, his fingers brushing over the broken watch strapped to his wrist. Ellie shifts slightly, already turning away, but he isn’t done.

“I know that’s not what you wanna hear right now, but it’s—”

“Swear to me.”

Ellie’s voice cuts through his, stopping him in his tracks.

She turns back, eyes burning into his, demanding,“Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true.”

Joel shifts on his feet, and you watch him carefully, your heart pounding hard in your chest.

And then he looks her in the eye and says: “I swear.”

The silence is thick, stretching too long. Ellie’s eyes flicker to you, searching, waiting.

Your throat is dry, your pulse hammering, but you force yourself to nod.

“I promise. ”

It feels like acid on your tongue.

Ellie doesn’t blink. Doesn’t move. Then, after a long moment, she nods.

“Okay,” she says.

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effy-writes · 8 months ago

Text

Addict (Blitzø x Reader)

3: Pilot: Pill

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been about 3 months since you moved it with Blitz/fucked him and Stolas, and ohhh boy Blitz sure does keep reminding you of it. He would always say how much you miss his dick and everytime you go take a shower he’s always like “Showering without me?”

“Yes, Blitz. Showering without you yet again.”

“Oh come on, we saw each other naked before!”

“Yeah a one time thing that I really don’t want to talk about.”

Now, with your addiction, you got away with taking adderal. It doesn't do much, but it's better than being sober. Sometimes whenever the crew goes out to kill, you will leave the office and go find either coke or meth and get high before they all come back. Blitz however, doesn't know that any of this is happening even though you guys been living together for 3 months now.

Blitz walked in front of the whiteboard while you were viciously sweeping the floor due to the amount of energy you had.

"Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... Moxxie. Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?"

"What about a car wash?"

"This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay? Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?"

Moxxie rolled his eyes, "We can't afford a billboard, sir."

"Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?"

Blitz proceeded to turn on the TV, showing everyone assassinating the humans from earth.

"Ahh, those were the good times." Blitz reminisced.

"I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches."

"Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit! Y/n, any ideas?"

You stopped dead in your tracks. "Uh..I don't know. I'm a janitor."

"Useless." Blitz scoffed.

Loona received a call and answered nonchalantly, "I.M.P.", The two talked for a bit and she hung up.

"Colorado. Some guy named Eddie." She flipped a page of the magazine that she's reading.

"Finally." Moxxie said, getting up from his chair and walking towards the portal that Loona opened up.

You continued to sweep and mop the entire floor. Running around and dusting every little thing.

"Blitz isn't here, you can stop working." Loona said, not looking up from her magazine.

"I like to clean, keeps my mind busy."

An hour later you were on the floor, scrubbing the left over gunk with a toothbrush. Loona would occasionally glance at you and roll her eyes.

The door of the room opened up, making you stand up and pretend that you're not cracked out. "Uh, who's this?" You pointed to the boy laying on a stretcher.

"Moxxie was being retarded and shot the wrong person." Blitz huffed.

"I'm sorry, sir! I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target."

"Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie."

"YOU sit! Sit on... a... and the... d-- DO YOUR JOB!!" He slammed his fist on the table.

"Hey, now. We don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay?! She didn't do anything wrooooong~"

"Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful!"

Loona flipped him off before answering the phone. "I.M.P....Blitz! That clingy, rich asshole is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! Sounds a little DTF-y."

"Oh, GOD, it was one time! If Y/n and I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world." He crossed his arms.

"...You what?" Moxxie looked disgusted.

"Blitz! What the fuck!?" You walked over to him. "That was supposed to be a secret!"

"Wait," Millie stood up. "You slept with our boss?" She smiled.

"I got sucked into it. Don't want to talk about it."

Blitz put his arm around you, "I don't know, you seem to enjoy it." He teased. You pushed him off and sat down next to Millie.

"Blitzzz answer the phone!" Loona groaned.

Blitz motioned you to come with him to the office to talk to Stolas. At first you shook your head and stayed still. "Dude, he wanted you, not me."

"We're in this together, I don't want to be left alone to talk to him."

You eventually gave in and followed Blitz into his office. He planted himself onto his chair and picked up the phone, "Hey Stolas."

"There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists!"

"Doesn't it?" You replied.

"Well... yes. But, more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here~"

"Okay, well. Yeah, that makes sense." Blitz agreed.

"You know what happens when I'm lonely, Blitzy and Y/n?"

"How come I don't get a nickname?" You joked.

"God-fuckin'-dammit." Blitz said under his breath.

"When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red cock of yours...Y/n fingering me, and me licking all of your cum, before taking out your cock, and fucking Y/n while she’s sucking me with more teeth until she’s screaming daddy like a FUCKING baby--!"

Blitz ended the call, looking traumatized. You on the other hand was laughing your ass off. "Looks like he wants us to fuck him."

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"A little." You snickered.

Blitz broke his phone and blended it.

"Loona!" He shouted.

She entered the office and put her hands on her hip.

"Eat this. And then y'know that bridge over the freeway?"

"Yeah?"

"Shit off it!"

The three walked out of the office, you leaned against the door.

"Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family." Blitz finished off the conversation from earlier.

"We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!"

You and Blitz exchanged glances. He walked up to the window to change topics. "That is offensive! Without homeless people, I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!"

"While we're on the subject of "family", can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work? Can't you just hang out with Y/n instead?"

"Come on, sweetie! It's not that big a deal." Millie smiled.

"Excuse me...WHAT?!"

"Y/n and I live together, i'm up her ass as much as I'm up yours."

"You're literally up in my ass." You snorted.

"Just... stop... doing that!" Moxxie said to Blitz, but might as well as say it to you.

Blitz shrugged. "I don't see what the issue is! There somethin' you don't want me seein'?"

"No!"

"You a baby-wiener-haver?"

"Sir, what you say and how you act is totally INAPPROPRIATE!" Moxxie stood up.

"Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!"

"I AM CALM!"

"Shh-shh-shh. There, there."

"Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff you do outside work hours. So, don't... judge me!" Blitz crossed his arms.

"Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot, actually! Y/n how come you don't stop him?"

"I have no control of what he does."

"Mox, he's our boss!"

"No-no-no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just... how do I say this without being offensive? ...retarded."

"Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad situationship with Y/n?"

"Moxxie for the last time we're not dating!" You interjected.

"Oh come on! You two are fucking each other, live with each other, and constantly flirting."

"Friends with benefits." You shrugged.

"Y/n has too many problems to date." Blitz stated.

"Fuck you too then! You have more problems than me!"

"At least I'm not a dru-"

"Don't." You gritted your teeth.

"Moxxie, the only reason you have a wife is because you're easy to manage!" Loona looked up from her phone.

Millie slams her hands against the table, "No, he's not, you BITCH!"

"Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!" Blitz crossed his arms.

"Yes, I am!"

"You guys are all fucking assholes."

Everyone looked at the kid.

"Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!" Blitz pointed his finger.

"It's been a literal hell having to pretend to be paralyzed so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But, now I want that. I want death!"

Eddie pointed to Blitz. "You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!"

"HA!" You slapped your knee.

"What's up with your teeth?" Eddie laughed, "Looks like you smoke meth, especially with your fucked up skin and the fact that half of your teeth is gone."

You put your hand over your mouth.

"Hey, now! That's not very--"

Eddie interrupted Moxxie, "If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit."

"That's my husband you're talkin' to!" Millie slammed her fist on the table.

"That's your husband?! I figured you for a slut. But, I didn't know you needed dick that bad! And you!" He pointed to Loona.

"What? What about me?"

"Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person."

"Wow. Ah, y'know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit." Blitz replied.

Everyone in unison agreed as you tugged on Blitz's sleeve to get his attention. "Are my teeth that bad?" You whispered in a sad voice, opening your mouth ever so slightly.

"Do you want me to be honest or nice?" He whispered back.

"Fuck you."

"Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all." Loona smiled.

"Who?"

"Him."

"Me?" Eddie said in disbelief.

"Yup." She said smugly.

"They wanted us to kill an actual child?" Blitz raised his eyebrow.

"That's what they're sayin'."

"...Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God."

Blitz draws a flintlock pistol and fires it at Eddie, resulting in blood splattering everywhere.

"Y/n you're the janitor, go clean it up." Blitz smirked.

"Let me go to the bathroom first." You fast walked into the bathroom and locked the door, pulling out a baggy from your pocket. You poured the adderal onto your hand and brought it to your mouth, swollowing the white pills dry.

You left the bathroom once it kicked in, and cleaned up the mess while the others got rid of Eddie's body.

#helluva boss #cross posted on wattpad #blitz x reader #blitzo x reader #blitzø x reader #tw drugs #i suck at tags

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the-krakens-bitch · 1 year ago

Text

This is a quick idea of who is least to most likely to be the one who dies at the end of the show.

Charlie: 6:

It won't be her.

Not only is she the protagonist, but she is one of the primary female characters in a show that is dominant in other male characters, and killing her, just reduces the key aspects of the narrative.

Angel: 5:

The fan favourite

Angel Dust is the character that also has a lot of emotional devices attached to them, and by killing them they would stunt his character development, including the triumph against Valentino and his relationship with Husk

I considered that his death may highlight him being redeemed, such as other characters seen within other narratives, however, with this episode, Angel's goodness and redemption were already displayed

Niffty: 4:

Not to sound mean, but out of everyone I kinda hope its Nifty

However, I know it won't, BECAUSE, of this reason.

Nifty has no strong attachment towards the audience and the other characters, such as Alastor and Angel Dust, thus her death won't entirely be that emotional and beneficial towards the overall narrative

The last 3 are the hardest:

Vaggie: 3:

I don't think that Vivziepop would kill off one of her most prominent female characters, especially one who is in a gay relationship with the protagonist (Is it burry the gays if they are already dead. Technically Charlie and Vaggie aren't even dead they are more like eternal beings or omens)

However, it would connect towards Vaggie's line in ‘Whatever it Takes’ (Absolute underrated bop) “I’ll be your armour”, the idea that Vaggie's foundation of her self-worth is from Charlie's satisfaction and happiness rather than herself.

This would cause emotional anguish in Charlie which would force her to evolve and grow in the proceeding seasons.

Husk: 2:

Before watching the show, especially episode 4, Husk had no direct attachment to any of the characters, thus having a similar effect with Niffty. However, with his and Angel's relationship development, he now has an emotional aspect that would convert his death being an impactful event.

I don't believe that they would do this, due to his and Angel's relationship not having a significant romantic event (yet) that would cause more determination to win the fight against Heaven (Loser Baby was amazing, but it wasn't the romantic pull entirely required)

I believe that If he did die, it would be similar to Vaggie, in the way that he was a sacrifice for another person, in his case Angel

This can be further through the series of Angel facing the world for the sake of the soul who truly believed in him, similar to the values that Husk presented in episode 6 at the bar.

Alastor: 1:

The most prominent character development displayed would be Alastor dying for the sake of Charlie and the Hotel, something that pilot him would be baffled by.

However (Here with another however) I don't think it would happen.

Alastor death would affect the other characters, especially Charlie, while the others, Husk and Niffty, wouldn't have the same melancholy compared to her.

But since he has such a deep and rich history, with theories connecting him to Lillith, I don't believe that they are gonna “Waste” him. (This idea/excuse is the weakest compared to the others, so I kinda do think it will be him)

Bonus:

The character that I completely believe would die is….

Sire Pentious!!

(Sorry to his fans)

My reasons are that he doesn't have any direct ties to anyone, such as Vaggie and Charlie, Charlie and Alastor, and Angel and Husk.

However, he is prominent enough for the audience and the characters to know him enough and can sense his development of becoming a better soul.

Compared to the pilot trying to destroy Cherry Bomb and to him trying to flirt with her. He is trying to become a better person, and the classic convention of him sacrificing himself for someone else would show how he has developed over the series.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel thoughts #hazbin hotel theory #headcanon #hazbin hotel sir pentious #hazbin hotel niffty #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel chaggie #hazbin hotel vaggie #angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel analysis

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maya-matlin · 7 months ago

Note

hiiiii ashton <333 I know we've talked about it before but I recently was on a video and saw some comments that angered me and you know I ship leyton and brulian too but I just wanna hear your thoughts because you always give the best ones!! why do you personally prefer brucas over leyton? why don't you ship leyton? and what do you think about the comments from people saying how leyton were always supposed to be endgame even though s2&3 it certainly didn't feel that way!! and about the comments saying that chopia breaking up had nothing to do with it even though they broke up before brucas actually got back together and they could've very easily not put them together after chopia broke up if they wanted to lol I'm just very curious about your thoughts and don't really wanna discuss it in messenger tbh this is easier so I get all your opinions lol I love you so much and you always give the best responses and answers when I ask you things!! 💞💞💞

I literally don't, but thank you for saying that 💙💙 First things first, I did ship Lucas and Peyton in the past. So on some level, I understand the appeal because I also fell for them when I started watching One Tree Hill. Truth be told, one day I just snapped out of it. Before season 6 even premiered, I was watching my season 5 DVD and finding myself frustrated with the LP story line while appreciating the dynamic between Brucas. Anyways, since then I've watched every episode multiple times and analyzed both by myself and sometimes with others why exactly I don't root for Leyton and prefer Brucas. To me, they're representative of a lot of tropes that will never be my favorite. Meant to be from the pilot couples are always going to be a hard sell. The chemistry had better be something special and the ongoing story needs to be more than, "I immediately know you better than everyone else in your life after having a handful of conversations." There are always exceptions to this rule. Sometimes I fall for the ship fast (Stelena, sorry). Other times it takes until nearly the entire first season or until the second (Ephram/Amy from Everwood, Max/Liz from OG Roswell, Spelivia) for me to get past the beginning and appreciate what the couple is at the heart of it. Needless to say, this sums up Leyton (derogatory). So much of their connection is told to the audience rather than shown. From day one, it's automatically clear that this is the couple to root for. Their only real obstacle, Nathan, is a comically terrible, borderline abusive boyfriend, so the fact Lucas in early season 1 is the anti Nathan pushes him incredibly hard as Peyton's ideal match. Once Brucas starts up, there's an immediate difference in energy and chemistry. Both Lucas and Peyton take themselves so seriously. It's always deep feelings and angst and brooding and "oh, we want to be together, but the circumstances are just too hard." And meanwhile, it's only like episode 9. Brooke has deep feelings and her own insecurities, but on the outside she doesn't take life super seriously and is someone who acts rather than internalizing everything. Brooke's influence on Lucas's life feels like a breath of fresh air. Lucas begins to loosen up and see that there can be more to life than his preconceived ideas of how the world works and how everyone should be acting. On Lucas's end, he encourages Brooke to develop her intellectual side and see that she has so much more to offer than being the life of the party and someone who gets validation from sleeping with a lot of guys. Lucas is the first person Brooke wants to get serious with. Even better, this is a story line we actually get to see play out. When Lucas and Brooke talk about what they like about each other, it all tracks because we've been watching their attraction bloom and seeing how in a lot of ways, they're at their best together. Sorry, this is getting long. This is all solely based on season 1. By the end of the season, Lucas and Peyton cheat for the first time. This sadly becomes a pattern for them. Brooke is emotionally devastated. And though Lucas immediately seems to feel guilt over hurting Brooke, it takes him time to see how far he's strayed from the type of person he wants to be.

Season 2 is a massive gamechanger for Brucas. This is the first time they're truly able to be friends. Without the expectation of a relationship, Brooke and Lucas are able to connect on a deeper level. Yet again, this is something shown to us rather than told. This is the kind of relationship both took the time to develop. Much like in season 1, Lucas encourages Brooke to invest in her more intellectual, soulful side. Lucas himself works on being more selfless, taking the time to improve as a person. Unlike when Lucas pined for Peyton while she was dating Nathan and embarked on an affair during his first relationship with Brooke, this time Lucas allows Brooke's relationship with Felix to play out without any interference while still being a friend. Lucas is aware of his own feelings, but he also knows how badly he hurt Brooke in the past and has no reason to think a second chance is even a possibility. When Lucas kisses Brooke after months of close friendship and opening up to each other emotionally (albeit with Brooke understandably on guard post cheating and Lucas hiding his rediscovered feelings), it feels earned. The third season is a mixed bag. At its best, season 3 Brucas is a perfect mix of seasons 1 and 2 Brucas. Both seem to be equally emotionally invested in the relationship working out and view each other as basically their endgame. But the fun and the lightheartedness exist, as well. Brooke is still someone who brings light and fun to Lucas's life. On Lucas's end, it starts to get murky as the show gets closer and closer to the shooting episode. After spending so much time veering away from the possibility of Lucas and Peyton together with emphasis on Lucas's love for Brooke, the strength of the Brooke/Peyton friendship and even how Lucas and Peyton are actually able to be platonic, healthy friends themselves, everything gets destroyed so that the show can return to Leyton. On the one hand, it's not as though it's totally out of nowhere or implausible because again, the narrative went so hard in Leyton's favor during the first season. But at the same time, it doesn't feel believable to me when it finally happens. Lucas seems to flip flop from getting past his breakup with Brooke to declaring Peyton is the one he wants next to him when his dreams come true in mere seconds. The writers LOVE to make Lucas in denial about his feelings for Peyton. Past the first season, we don't get Lucas pining for Peyton. We just don't. We got Lucas pining for Brooke during season 2 and part of 3 and even Lucas wanting Lindsey back after she leaves him at the altar, but for the lion's share of LP's history, it's Peyton desperately wanting Lucas and somewhat being willing to sacrifice everything just for the chance of being with him. So because of this, Lucas becomes an almost passive love interest where he's told over and over again what he should want and what his true feelings are until he just kind of.. says fine, choosing Peyton. That alone is why I prefer Brucas. It's the more compelling story line and relationship. Plus, the chemistry.

And I hate to do it, but this vs this:

Chemistry is unpredictable, always up for debate, and shouldn't always be the deciding factor in what a person ships. My shipping preferences have been all over the place in this area. But when the writing is lacking and the chemistry isn't really selling the story either, these moments that are supposed to be powerful and come across as passionate somehow come across as phony and put on. In my opinion, Chad and Hilarie had buddy chemistry while Chad and Sophia had the passionate, in love type of chemistry due in large part to literally being in love and married in real life.

As a viewer, I really resent being told that Lucas was simply denying his true feelings for no other reason I can think of except maliciousness when he spent basically two and a half seasons wanting Brooke over Peyton. The romantic relationship with Lucas and Peyton during seasons 4 and 6 seems like the healthier option on the surface, but it comes back to how I feel about Lucas as a passive love interest and Peyton's arc being so wrapped up in whether or not she gets the guy. This is pretty much spelled out towards the end of season 3. During a conversation between Brooke and Peyton, Brooke confides in Peyton that during Lucas's absence she realized that she wasn't as reliant on his physical presence as she thought she'd be. From Brooke's perspective, all this means is that Brooke is somehow capable of loving and being happy independently of the man she loves. But on One Tree Hill, this is supposed to imply Brooke either doesn't truly love Lucas, is falling out of love with Lucas, or that Peyton loves Lucas more because she doesn't desire independence outside of him. It's a gross message to say the least. This brings me full circle, back to season 5. Between seasons, Lucas proposed to Peyton and broke off the relationship when she didn't accept his proposal. Objectively speaking, not the worst thing in the world and a valid thing to do if this is a deal breaker. But this causes the Lucas/Peyton relationship to be heavily imbalanced and in Lucas's favor over Peyton's. Lucas stops feeling like the kind of person who follows his heart and more this desperate guy who wants to marry someone to the point the bride doesn't actually matter. If I go along with the idea that Lucas was in love with Peyton throughout the intervening years, throughout season 5 and for the entirety of his romance with Lindsey, what does that say about Lucas? One, he's the kind of guy who is so out of touch with his own emotions that nothing he says should ever be trusted. Or two, he's an asshole and will willingly commit himself to another woman under false pretenses just because he didn't get what he wanted from his first choice on his terms. Peyton's love for Lucas is meant to be undying and unconditional, causing her to behave in such selfish, desperate ways. Lucas, on the other hand, proves that his affection for Peyton is very conditional. He's not willing to compromise. He doesn't want to wait around for Peyton to catch up with where he is.

And in the mean time, Lucas bouncing between Peyton and Lindsey actually means season 5 Brucas is a very good alternative for Lucas. It's all very unspoken, but the chemistry and the connection between Lucas and Brooke never goes away. Much like in season 2, the possibility of romance is very much off the table. Brooke returns to Tree Hill not to win Lucas back, but because she misses her hometown and sees herself settling down there. Because nothing is being pushed on either end, it's much easier for adult Lucas and adult Brooke to be friends in a way that's impossible for Lucas and Peyton. They're able to relate to each other outside of high school and their past romance. A flashback reveals that Lucas was the first person Brooke told that she wanted to have a baby. During the time Brooke is taking care of Angie, Lucas becomes the kind of person Brooke can depend on and lean on for emotional support. Even outside of season 5, there's a consistent theme of Lucas being the best, most selfless version of himself with Brooke. It's as though Brooke's influence in Lucas's life mixed with their season 1 history almost demands that Lucas be better when they're together. Both Brooke and Lucas are in the place where they're looking to settle down. In a moment that's kind of a contrast to season 3

Unlike in season 3 when Lucas was trying to fight for Brooke but kind of clueless when it came to working out what she wanted from him, this time Lucas realizes that no matter how strong Brooke seems to be, she needs him to show up for her. There will always be endless potential for season 5+ Brucas, in my opinion. Their strong bond and complementary desires for a future shine through even as the narrative reminds us over and over again that Peyton is the one who loves Lucas most and that anything that isn't about Peyton is merely "denial" or Lucas "hiding his heart." Anyways, Lucas literally fantasizes about marrying all of his major love interests, Brooke included. The dream sequence wants us to believe Brooke and Lucas want very different things, making them fundamentally incompatible. The entirety of seasons 5-9 disagrees with this, but Lucas still ends up with Peyton.

When it comes down to it, I don't like the people Lucas and Peyton are around each other. As friends, it's mostly okay. They certainly share common interests and Peyton lacks the trust issues Lucas's other girlfriends have considering she's always the other woman. But.. so much of their love story comes across as incredibly forced with so many holes in it. Their arc throughout the first six seasons does NOT hold water. Peyton isn't allowed to be a fully fleshed out person with goals that don't perfectly align with becoming Mrs. Lucas Scott. Lucas holds all the cards, resulting in him becoming far more selfish and almost childish in the way he acts like season 1 Lucas who is still butthurt his crush didn't want to commit to him after one make out session. Even in the final season, I don't see much if any growth. It's the final season for both characters and the show played out the beats of broken up Leyton, so they're put back together. So much of what happens between Lucas and Peyton is heavily reliant on the idea of everything coming full circle without any regard for how one or both have changed since then. Brucas doesn't have this problem. If nothing else, Brooke and Lucas's relationship goes through multiple changes, with each phase feeling much more mature and deeper than the one before. Even though their past and Brooke's trust issues are recurring problems, their actual dynamic always remains in the present.

As for your last question, I'll never know for sure what discussions were like behind the scenes circa seasons 2 and 3. But based on how season 2 played out, I think there's a very good chance the endgame shifted. The underlying tension and romantic affection between Lucas and Peyton was completely gone. Lucas realized he wanted to be with Brooke and never seemed to consider Peyton. Even Peyton, who has ambiguous moments that refer to possible feelings for Lucas even before the shooting, doesn't have this during the second season. She spends far more time pining for and loving Jake. When Peyton expresses displeasure over her relationship with Lucas, it's that he hasn't been the kind of friend that shows up for her emotionally. Lucas's response to this is to bring Jake back to town LOL. In terms of season 3, it gets confusing. Chad and Sophia didn't separate until multiple episodes into the first half of season 3. Meaning, the groundwork was already being laid for Brucas's failed friends with benefits/casual relationship to become a deeper romantic one even before Chad and Sophia split up. But at the same time, Lucas's friendship with Peyton was also being prioritized again with more references to their romantic past coming up outside of Brooke's insecurities. So with that in mind, it seems like LP was a possibility even as Brucas was rebuilding their relationship. However, I think the Chad/Sophia split permanently closed the door on any legitimate Brucas once their season 3 arc was completed. Personally, I don't think Peyton ending up with Lucas was set in stone until the end of season 3. Had Chad and Sophia never split up, I definitely think we would have seen another round of Brucas at some point because the chemistry alone would have demanded it. Plus, the gross producers capitalizing on the real life Chad/Sophia romance. In a universe where Chad and Sophia never broke up, my gut says Lucas ends up with Brooke. But nothing is 100%. To sum up my thoughts, I think there was a plan in place during season 1. I think another plan emerged during season 2. In season 3, the endgame was literally up for grabs. But Chad and Sophia's breakup sealed the deal.

I love you, too! I'm so sorry for making you read all this.

#Brucas #otp: She's the one #Anti Leyton #userlaylivia #Not my gifs #Long post

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walkingstackofbooks · 1 year ago

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DS9 4x05 Rejoined thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!)

[28 June '23]

"It's a trick!" "Of course it's a trick!" Oh, Quark 😆

"Painfully shy, introverted, a slight lack of confidence, just the kind of person who might want to dazzle the world with his magical abilities." - Okay, new headcanon that Julian is speaking from experience from when he was younger - he decided magic tricks would be how he'd make friends at new schools.

Interesting camera angle from Sisko's window

"Am I that dispensable around here?" "We'll never notice you're gone." I love their easy friendship and joking <3

"I'll be fine." That waver in her voice though ~

I love that Kira is the one who extensively knows Jadzia's lives. And I love how it really feels like they are all - even Quark - really, actually friends now.

The way Kira breaks into laughter at Julian's trick, I love her smile!

Kira's little touch of his arm, I live for platonic displays of affection.

"The Trill feel very strongly that it's unnatural." "Unnatural?" I LOVE Kira! Her outrage is just SO cathartic

"I don't understand how two people who've fallen in love, and made a life together, can be forced to walk away from each other because of a taboo." I know DS9 could generally have hit harder on LGBT topics, but this is Actually Very Good

"Curzon was even late for his hundredth birthday party." "You're never gonna let me forget that, are you?" Interesting that she switched from Ben's use of Curzon to "me" - highlighting how much she is the other hosts as well as herself.

"I'll be fine," she says, while pinning her badge on upside-down. 😅

"What do Klingons dream about?" I love Kira's gaiety and curiosity here

Hah! Had forgotten Worf's "Things that would send cold chills down your spine and wake you in the middle of the night. It is better you do not know. Excuse me." Okay I do like his deadpan humour.

"Quite an audience." "Seems a shame to disappoint them. Maybe we should do something." Their entire conversation at the party is electric

That purposeful look away they both do when the guy leaves them alone on the bridge.

"That's because you were a pilot and it made me nervous. Made her nervous. Torias being a pilot made Nilani nervous." The mixing up of pronouns - I love how complex the whole situation is allowed to be

"And whatever part of me is still Torias is very sorry and wishes he'd listened to you." - Lenara's nod of acknowledgment.. ohhh, I knew this episode was amazing but I'd forgotten just how compelling and emotional the threads all the way through were

"Would you be interested in dinner? I mean, I'm having dinner with some friends and I thought you might like to go along." I've never seen Jadzia this uncertain of herself!

Pffff Jadzia you made all that up about having dinner with friends?! You've got it baaad

"Something tells me I should say no, but you know I won't." Oh, Julian. And that kiss on the cheek!

Julian's so sulky, my goodness, what a child (affectionate)

Their chemistry is SO - JUST - Y'KNOW

No, I can't even, his little face is so scrunchy! I'm sorry ladies, let's go back and rewatch you rather than Julian being too ridiculous.

"Curzon would be horrified I'm a scientist." I thought Jadzia was a scientist before getting joined so didn't he know?

"The irony is, you and I have more in common than Torias and Nilani ever did." And that is what makes a tragedy 💔

Julian's complete startlement when he's hailed on comms 😂

"I think he enjoyed himself... Maybe not." You think? Especially if you were going through the highlights of your life he's already heard :p

Lenara just giving her the earrings!!! Like it's nothing!!! Like it's not deeply romantic!! I cannot be normal about these two!!!

"There is nothing going on, alright?" But you wish it were, don't you, Lenara?

Jadzia's so pretty in her gown and hair down (she's always pretty shhhh)

"I don't want to do anything to hurt you." Guyssss

Jadzia's brief touch to Lenara's face and forcing herself to take her hand away I cannn't

"I missed you." Oh boy the first time watching this thinking they were going to kiss? But no, and being disappointed but not wholly surprised, it's the 90s BUT NO WHAT'S THIS, they actually DO KISS and it's just so tender. This episode has my entire heart o swear.

I hate that this reasoning why Jadzia should stay away - that the consequence of exile would impact Dax the symbiont - makes sense (even if the taboo doesn't). And that Benjamin can sound so reasonable in trying to dissuade her.

"But I also know I love her, Benjamin." MY HEART

"If you're sure, if this is what you really want, I will back you all the way." After all the other arguments, thank you Ben, that means a lot. <3

Actually, no - it's weird that Dax is seen as a passive part of this decision - the poor symbiont who'll die if Jadzia gets herself exiled - but it's Dax who also, as far as I understand, very much has feelings for Kahn and Nilani, just as much as Jadzia does for Lenara et al. So Dax should also have a say through their link woth their host if they want to choose love over exile.

Jadzia's striding down the corridor to rescue Lenara (and others, ofc)

"I don't want to lose you, not again." "Not again. Never again. Never again. Never." MY HEART, DAMN YOU 90S, WORF WAS NO REPLACEMENT FOR THIS

Jadzia getting down eagerly onto her knees as she asks Lenara to stay. She's so sure she'll accept! And why shouldn't she be!

"Everyone is trying to look out for us. Protect us from ourselves." THIS IS STILL SO RELEVANT

"I can always come back later." I can't help thinking, what if she did change her mind a few years later... Maybe in that 3 month window between season 6 and 7? ... Why am I making myself sad like this? 😭😭😭

The way their eyes meet. Fuck this episode. (affectionate)

God, Jadzia was a wreck over that phasing-planet guy - what she's going to be like over Lenara who she's known for centuries? I just wanna hug her

This is just such a good story though, like even without the gay metaphor and actual gayness, aliens having dilemmas over their society's morality is fascinating, and the Trill very much so!

#jadzia dax #lenara kahn #ds9 rejoined #ds9 4x5 #andi watches ds9 #WSB

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dolphingirl1234 · 2 years ago

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Okay, could we have a breakdown of the cone snail episode because it shows so much character development it's unreal.

I've been putting off analysing this episode for song long because everyone does it but since you asked nicely-

He's terrified when Dashi explains the roaring 40s (they are actually real things, theres also the furious 50s and the screaming 60s no I'm not making this up)

Welcome to episode 13639274 of Peso And Role Model #1. Here we find Peso and Role Model in their natural habitat; staring wistfully out the window and intensely foreshadowing. Peso wants to know everything that Role Model knows, and Role Model is happy to flex their Role Modelling skills.

Peso did it with no practise at all you're not as cool as you think-

But for real though, Peso had no practise - he just read a few pages of a manual he didn't understand anyway and he just got up and did it seamlessly when he had to not 2 hours later.

You wrote it babe why are you reading it when clearly you already know how to pilot the ship I'm sorry my mind doesn't like this

Peso is genuinely confused why Barnacles was asking him of all people to read the manual. The other crew members would be much better for the job because they're stronger and have more experience. But Barnacles asked Peso. He knows he can do it.

If Barnacles thinks he can do it, Peso will try. And you bet he read that book for the entire time before the world started blowing up and he had to go do doctor things.

No pic for this but we're not gonna mention that cone snail stings can and will kill you if not treated within the first hour because every single person on that ship should be dead right now.

Ok we're getting to the good stuff now...

Barnacles gets special treatment because Peso doesn't wanna lose his Role Model #1. He's on his own now. No one to help him except for the Vegimals but we all know they're not much help in this situation.

Do I even need an explanation for this one??

He knows he has to do it. He's the only one who can.

(Sorry about the goofy screenshot lol)

Barnacles got this psychology thing going and Peso's like "what does that even mean??" and completely ignores it, but then it gets him thinking:

This is Peso's big break moment. This sets the scene for his entire character for the rest of the show. Realising he's actually doing something that's inside his comfort zone is relieving and means that he can do it.

He's proud of himself and he knows Barnacles is gonna be proud of him too, and he's so glad that everyone is safe despite the fact that everyone he loves is dying under his care /j

Barnacles got to watch Peso actively overcoming his fears and saving literally everyone on the ship. Peso's entire character arc happens in this one episode, and Barnacles is so proud of his little boi.

No need to be modest babe we all know you're awesome.

Anyway that's the end of this analysis, it wasn't as good as the last one and I've seen better ones on this episode (which of course I cannot find when I need them for inspiration)

If anyway has any more episodes or characters you want me to analyse (or literally anything else tbh) please put it in the ask thing I love getting asks!!

#did I do this in literally half an hour as soon as I got home from school because I was so excited about getting an ask?? maybe 👀#oconauts #episode analysis #Octonauts and the cone snail #peso #barnacles

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ophelialoveshandsomemen · 2 years ago

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On the '3 things' asks:

#11, #18, and #34

Thanks so much girl!!!

(omg, you're breaking my heart with that gif!) 💖

Anyways! To the answers! I'm sorry to inform you that it has turned into an article, I cannot write about books I'm passionate about concisely. So buckle up I guess?!!?

#11- 3 books I would recommend that everyone reads!

So I'm gonna put down books that I also think most people ( if not all) Could read, because a.k.a Lord of the Rings is not easy for a lot of people, for various reasons surrounding pacing and whatnot, though I highly recommend that one as well!!!

First book would be Sastun by Dr. Rosita Arvigo. It is a woonnnnderful book about her apprenticeship with a Mayan H'men. a.k.a shaman-like healer, who reminds us that the spiritual and the physical Cannot Be Separated! A very easy read that will blow your mind when it comes to your body and how you should treat it and it will forever change your perspective on Western Medicine. One warning though, if you do not actually know beforehand about what is and isn't "allowed" in Catholicism, do not base your future knowledge of it on this, as these healers really mix together Mayan worship and Catholicism. I do not judge them for this, but please be aware that not everything that they recount doing in this book is necessarily okay for Catholics.

Second book is Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery. This entire series was my comfort book growing up, but I recommend the first as it truly is the cornerstone of the series. ( FYI My personal favourite is actually the last book, Rita of Ingleside.) :) A story about girl with a wild imagination and longing for a kindred spirit, nothing better to dive into!

Third book will be Mexican Martyrdom by Rev. Fr. Wilfrid Parsons. I was obsessed with the Cristero War as a young teen ( thanks to my mother getting me the movie, For Greater Glory, when I was 12 because she knew I liked war movies...I know, weird 12 year old girl, I was a tomboy okay...) This is a period of history that, if I remember correctly, is very rarely talked about because there's a lot of misunderstandings and bad blood surrounding it. But this book was written by a contemporary catholic reverend who was in and out of Mexico while it was happening and was acquainted with some of the "people in charge" shall we say. So it's quite reliable and helps clear some of the murk clouding this patch of history. ( Also, I highly recommend watching the aforementioned movie, For Greater Glory ( 2012), (which you will very much enjoy if you are Oscar Isaac fan btw) and another thing I rec is this short film from around the same time, called Cristeros y Federales, link is here. ( Also, this one has the ever lovely Tenoch Huerta starring! ) ;)

#18- 3 dream jobs from my childhood

Ummm I got at least two. I wanted to be a religious Sister who was also a nurse and I would go help third world countries. Then I realized that heat existed....

And then I wanted to become a famous stage actress!

There was also a bout of wanting to leave everything behind and become a mountain (wo)man/trapper in the Northwest Territories. Dunno if that counts!! ( esp. since I still wanna do that half the time...)

#34-3 people from history who inspire me!

I might stay short and sweet with these, because most have got some, shall we say 'ugly history' attached to them, through no fault of their own.

Pocahontas, the Algonquin Princess. Really inspired me to respect and love and ally myself with nature.

St. Joan of Arc. Peasant girl turned saviour of France who stuck to her principles no matter what.

Marina Raskova, founder and leader of the ' Night Witches' a.k.a the elite soviet pilot regiment who are amoung the most badass ladies ever. Check them out! Their story is so cool!

#3 things ask #lovely asks #lots of history in this!#lol!

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taiturner · 2 years ago

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for the ask game: twd, fear and world beyond :)

GIVE ME A TV SERIES AND I'LL TELL YOU....

TWD

Favorite character: Alden, Sasha, Aaron

Funniest character: Eric is the first person that comes to mind (I love when he's petty<3) but I'm blanking on everyone else

Best-looking character: Magna, Siddiq

3 favorite ships: Aaron/Eric, Denise/Tara, and the most unpopular opinion of all but Rosita/Gabriel is So special to me. Honorable mention to Elijah and Lydia, I know their development happens in the background but the parallels between them are so loud anyway and those last few episodes really got me.

Least favorite character: N*gan

Least favorite ship: Lori and Sh*ne, get him away from her

Reason why I watch it: I know most people hate the bloated cast but I love it for that reason. I favor the later half of the series when there are so many different communities intricately linked, it makes for some really fun dynamics everywhere and there will really never be another show that gives you that

Why I started watching it: I basically had to bully myself into liking apocalypse shows (which is so ironic now because... my favorite things). I tried once and didn't make it past the pilot but then I picked it up a few years later (when season 9 was airing) and got hooked

FTWD

Favorite character: Grace

Funniest character: I'm blanking 😔

Best-looking character: Luciana

3 favorite ships: Grace/Morgan, Sherry/Dwight, Al/Isabelle

Least favorite character: Troy

Least favorite ship: I'm mostly blanking on every other ship in this show but actually the first one that comes to mind is Charlie (a 12 year old) and that 16 year old 🧍‍♂️ why'd they do my girl like that

Reason why I watch it: I don't always love the plot but I do love the characters so I've been holding on for them

Why I started watching it: I think I might've watched a few episodes of this before I ever started TWD but I was bored... I started again at season 4 because I heard about Al and I loved the concept of a journalist still interviewing people in the apocalypse, then I eventually went back to watch it all.

Favorite character: Iris and Leo are tied but Hope, Felix, Huck, and Silas are sooo close behind.

Funniest character: Elton maybe

Best-looking character: Sorry to be a Joe Holt stan but ♡ Leo

3 favorite ships: Felix/Will, Iris/Percy, Huck/Dennis

Least favorite character: This is one of the rare shows that I love love love every single character so it's really hard to answer this so. I guess Jadis because I have the least connection to her. Everyone else is my family <3

Least favorite ship: I don't think I really have an answer for this because I liked all the established ships... I think Lyla/Leo were cute even though she was betraying him :( so I guess them for technical purposes.

Reason why I watch it: People call it a "teen drama" but I think it's much more aligned with "family drama." At its core its entirely about FAMILY! And the family dynamics in this show are so incredible. The complex siblings, complex friendships, putting your entire trust in someone that's inevitably going to betray you, it's so good to me. I also think coming of age in the apocalypse is a really fun story to tell, especially since these people have lived in the apocalypse for 10 years but haven't actually experienced it. People who hate this show are boring <3

Why I started watching it: I had basically just finished watching TWD for the first time when this show was announced so I was excited to see it from the start, and the premise of it all sounded really fun and I was sooo sad when the premiere got pushed back like... a year. This show is my best friend now.

#thank you for sending!!! 💖#answered #carlschandler

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just-a-bit-of-a-nerd · 3 years ago

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The thought of losing you

Request from @realjennyshelby :45 & 59 Poe Dameron. I need the hurt/comfort of it all :>

45:They watch you get tortured

59:You lose your baby

Author’s note: Damn girl are you trying to make Poe fans cry?? This is def an angst.

Warnings: Torture, death, cursing, some blood, and a future breakdown for anyone who reads this :)

Summary: Poe broke a promise that he needed to keep. So he makes a new one, and if he breaks this one...

Here he was...Poe Dameron, the best pilot in the Resistance, the most cool and collected person that you know, your husband, the person who was supposed to be the father of your unborn child. A sobbing mess in front of you while you screamed from the overwhelming pain you felt throughout your entire being.

It’s been a really bad day.

It started off normal. You and Poe were as happy as ever. Just 2 weeks before this you told Poe the great news that you were pregnant. The joy on that mans face when he found out was contagious. He spend those whole 2 amazing weeks of happiness bragging about how his amazing wife was going to bring life into the world. He told everyone at least 3 times that you were carrying his future boy or girl. The excitement in his eyes when he told Finn that as soon as he or she could walk he’d take them straight to his x-wing and teach them how to be a better flyer than he is.

“Ya know, once the war is over, the General is gonna wish they had someone like my future kid to fly their planes,” he’d brag to anyone who had the attention spam to listen.

Both of you were a little worried about having a kid in the middle of the war but Poe assured you that he’d keep you and his little pilot save from anything that would want to harm the two of you.

Boy was he wrong.

The General had one small mission for you. Even though you were pregnant you could still do small missions to do your part, you where only 2 weeks along. And although Poe didn’t like the fact that you had to go to this one you told him that you were only going to pick up some supplies for the Resistance. That it was only a one day trip. That you’d be home and just fine before he even knows you were gone.

Boy were you wrong.

The mission went smoothly the whole time you were collecting everything that you needed. It was the trip back that took a turn.

Some how the dark side tracked you down. How you still have no clue. Took you and everyone your traveled with hostage. Thankfully one made it out. Some pilot who’s name you never cared to learn but you will once you get home. If you get home. She informed the General who then informed Poe.

“Hey buddy the general wants to see you now, she says it’s important,” Finn told Poe as he was cleaning his x-wing.

“What is it?” He questioned a hint of worry flowed into his tone of voice. His mind went straight to you thinking the worst, and he wasn’t really wrong, “Is it Y/N? Is everything okay?”

Finn shook his head, “I don’t know man but she sounded...scared, I’ve never heard her use that tone of voice.”

If anyone thought Poe was panicking before, he definitely was now. He ran with Finn to find the General with worry spread all over her face.

“Poe...” she hesitated, at that point he knew it was about you. And whatever it was with you it was bad. Finn was right, he’s never heard this much worry in the Generals voice. “I’m so sorry, but somethings happened to Y/N and her team,” she said, witch broke Poe into a million pieces. Just knowing that the love of his life, the woman carrying his child, the person who he intended to spend the rest of his life with was in danger. Witch brought the thought of, ‘will I get to spend the rest of my life with her?’

“What’s happened?” He questioned, tears forming in his eyes getting ready to fall. And he hasn’t even heard the worst of it yet.

“Her and her team somehow flew right into a trap,” she started, “The dark side must’ve found out where they were heading and kidnapped all of them but one pilot. We’re lucky she made it here or we’d have no idea that all this had happened,” she explained to Poe. They worry never leaving her tone or face and making Poe’s worry bigger, “We are creating a rescue team as we speak to go get them. And I don’t think I’d even have to ask for you to lead it,” she finished.

Poe’s heart was racing. The things that he thought were happening to you were far from pleasant, “You bet your ass, when do we leave?” He questioned with determination in his face and tone.

“No later than 10 minutes,” she reported, “be ready to leave.”

And as that left her mouth, Poe left Finn’s side as he made he way to his x-wing to prepare. He kept telling himself that you were okay. That the baby was okay. That you both would make it home save and sound. And at the end of the day he’d cry in your arms and fall asleep with you by his side.

Poe was the first ready to leave and as he waited he thought of ways he could get you out of there without hurting anyone besides the bad guys. Witch he was very open to that thought. He wanted to be the one to save you, to take you in his arms and carry you to his ship. To hold you while you told him what happened. He wanted to be the first to see if you were still alive.

After a little while longer of waiting they were off. It was him, Rey, Finn, and about 30 other random people he didn’t care to list in his head at the moment. He trusted Finn almost as must as he trusted you. And he knew that Finn cared about you enough to give his life for you. Not that you or Poe would ever ask him to do that. And Rey, well the reasoning for Rey was self-explanatory. Her power of the force was a huge upper hand and Poe wanted as many of those as he could get.

Poe and the team made their way to the base five of the team members shot at the ship for a diversion as the other 28 on them flew in. Him, Rey, and Finn got out of their ships grouping with the others.

“Everyone here knows who their teaming up with and who their looking for. Remember, this is a rescue mission not an attack. Try to stay unseen and quite,” Poe ordered. He was in General mode. As he always was on missions but this one he multiplied it by 100, his desperation to find you as soon as possible was taking over him.

The team agreed and split into their groups, his team being with Rey and Finn of course. They were off looking for you. They quietly made their way through the hallways of the huge ship. Listing to anything that might give away where you are. After about five minutes later, finding nothing they ran into a group of storm troopers. They were all getting ready to attack when Rey spoke up.

“You will put your weapons down,” she ordered in a forceful tone.

“We will put our weapons down,” they repeated obediently placing their guns of the floor.

“One of you will tell us where you are keeping Y/N while the others stay still,” she ordered once more in that same forceful tone.

“One of us will tell you where we are keeping Y/N while the others stay still,” they all repeated while one walked forward.

“Keep down this hall and she will be on the second door to the left,” he informed us.

“Thank you,” Rey replied with a cocky smile on her face as the three passed the storm troopers.

They quickly found your room and right on time, tons of machines came charging at them.

“Poe, go get Y/N me and Rey will handle this!” Finn shouted.

Poe didn’t need any further instructions. He shot the lock off the door and ran inside. Finding not only you, but also, Kylo Ren.

Poe was about to call for backup but Kylo reattached the door with his power of the force, “Shit,” Poe whispered under his breath.

“Funny,” Kylo started, “I was just about to come looking for you, you have some information I need.” Without warning Poe felt himself lose control of his body as he came to a complete still. He was moved closer to you, seeing the pain in your face, the blood that was coming out of your temple, his heart broke.

“Now Poe I don’t think I’ll have to introduce you to my little guest here, I’m pretty sure you have a close relationship with her already,” Kylo started. Poe could hear the smile behind that mask.

“What do you want from me?” Poe asked, fighting the tears that threatened to fall down his cheeks.

“Oh you know, I only need the map to Skywalker,” he told him, smirking under his mask, “And I need you to tell me where that little droid is that has it.”

“Poe don’t tell him anything,” you spoke up. It was a desperate plea. Somehow, someway Poe’s heart broke even more, the ace was becoming to much for him and he started shedding silent tears.

“Aww how cute, the wife begging her love to keep the secret that they spent so long protecting,” he laughed, “in exchange for her well being.”

“Well being?” Poe questioned, if Kylo was planning on hurting you to get him to talk then Poe knew he wouldn’t last long.

“Well,” Kylo started as he held his hand out facing you, “you tell me where the droid is,” and then it started. The first agonizing scream out of your mouth, and it broke Poe to hear it, “and I’ll make this stop,” Kylo finished.

“DON’T!” you screamed, “POE DON’T TELL HIM ANYTHING!” you cried again.

“STOP!” Poe yelled over your cries, “PLEASE STOP IT NOW!” he begged.

“Only you can make this stop Dameron,” Kylo stated calmly.

“Why don’t you just look in my head?!” Poe questioned, unable to hold back the sobs.

Kylo laughed, “Oh Poe, because this is much more entertaining,” he simply stated.

Poe wouldn’t just sit here and let this happen, no matter haw much you begged. You are the love of his life, the carrier of this child- wait. His child, not only was this son of a bitch hurting you, he was hurting your baby, “Okay, okay!” Poe shouted, desperate to make him stop, “BB-8 is in the ship with six other team members,” Poe confessed, “Now leave her alone!” He begged.

Kylo let out an evil laugh, “Poe Dameron, did you really think I’d be that merciful?” He asked and laughed harder.

Damn. He was played. Kylo was never gonna stop this, he was going to make Poe watch him kill her and their child in front of him.

“Please, please, please no!” Poe begged, Kylo laughed even more as your screams got louder, “PLEASE I’LL DO ANYTHING!” he yelled over your pain. More and more tears started to fall every second. Poe could see the life drain out of your eyes slowly, as he felt pain that he never thought he’d ever feel before.

Just as all hope seemed lost, he heard the door bust down behind him and he fell to the ground.

“Let them go!” Rey yelled as she charged at Kylo she and he pulled out their light sabers and started fighting. The screaming stopped. You were quiet. Finn ran up to Poe to see if he was okay but Poe ignored him hand ran to you, taking off the restraints that held you back. You were barely breathing, but you were still breathing. That’s all he could ask for as of right now.

“Y/N? Y/N, honey please look at me please. Let me see your beautiful eyes please,” he begged you to wake up, to look at him. He needed you to more than you could ever begin to know.

“Hmmm,” you hummed as you slowly opened your eyes, “Poe baby...”

“Hi sweetheart, your okay your gonna be okay,” Poe promised.

“No Poe,” you sobbed, “No it’s not okay.”

“Yes, yes it is,” Poe tried to convince you but you just shook your head and started to sob even harder.

“Poe it’s the baby, we lost the baby,” you cried.

At that moment everything stopped. He hates to admit it but after what he saw, him just being grateful your alive he forgot all about the baby. But then he took your words in, no. No, no, no. There’s no way. You can’t lose the baby. You can’t. But you can, and you most likely did. He tried to shake that thought out of his head and tried reassure you and himself.

“No, no. Don’t say that the baby is fine,” he tried, but even he wouldn’t believe that. Not anymore.

“No Poe,” you sobbed, “I felt it, they’re gone,” you continued to sob.

And then something lined up in his mind, when your screams of pain suddenly got louder, it wasn’t just pain. You were mourning, looking back you could see it in your eyes. You knew they were gone as soon as they died.

At that, Poe couldn’t hold it back anymore. He started to sob harder than he has all day. Witch he didn’t think was possible but at this point, anything could be possible.

As you two cried together Finn had to speak up, the fight between Rey and Kylo was getting heated and you needed to get BB-8 out of there,”Guy’s I’m so sorry but we need to leave,” Finn said with sorrow.

Even though Poe didn’t want to leave, he just wanted to sit there and cry in your arms, he knew they had to leave. Still crying, Poe picked you up and carried you bridal style out of the room and him and Finn ran to the ship while Rey held off Kylo.

Once they made it to the main ship Poe lied you down on a bed then asked another pilot if he could fly his x-wing back home so he could stay with you. The pilot agreed.

A few minutes later Rey ran into the ship and then they were off. The whole ride Poe sat with you as you cried and mourned for the loss of your baby, other than that the ship was silent. No one dared to make a sound.

One they made it home Poe rushed you to the med-bay immediately, just to make sure that nothing else was wrong with you, and to confirm the baby’s death. As Poe waited for the doctors to come out and tell him if you were okay or not, he couldn’t help the useless hope that maybe, your baby was still alive, maybe they can save them.

But it was to late, that’s what Poe told himself, that’s what you told him, and eventually that’s what the doctors told him. As he walked up to your bed he couldn’t help the sobs as he saw your tired body that was once carrying life, now mourning over the child that you both loved but never got to meet. Life that he was so ready to bring in this word, life that he still wants in this world, but will never have.

You slid over and patted the side of the bed, calling him to sit next to you. He did. He laid next to you and held on to you tight. And than when you started sobbing he did to. He sobbed with you in that bed for hours, no one bothered you. Although Poe was devastated to hear and know that his baby boy or girl were not gonna be who he dreamed them to be, to know that their just not gonna be, he was happy he had you. You were the only thing keeping him alive now. You were the only one who felt what he was feeling. You were the only one who could really make him feel better about everything. And he made a promise to his baby, that he’d never let anything bad happen to them, and he broke it. He broke that promise before he could even meet them. And you were the only one who could heal that hole that it made in his heart. Because you would always be there no matter how bad he fucked up. So he made a new promise, but not to you or him. To his baby, his baby that was in a better place now, where ever that may be. He made a promise to him or her. That he would do everything he could to protect you, even if it made you hate him, even if he hated himself. You were going to live a long happy healthy life or his name wasn’t Poe Dameron. If he had to die right now just to make sure that happened then he would. And if he every broke that promise, he would. Somehow if that promise was broken he’d find a way to rid himself of the galaxy.

Because you were his everything. And what could one do without their everything?

#poe dameron x reader #angst #fanfic #star wars

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landinoandco · 3 years ago

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Our Love is a Game

Lando Norris x Reader

Request from @jamieeboulos

Warnings: pinch of fluff, cute ending because they are the best

Word count: 2.7 k

Requests are open :)

It all started with a phone number, an innocent exchange that would subsequently change the world you knew; mostly for the better. When you had met Lando, as far as you were concerned you had just met a 21 year old who lived in London and had a passion for cars. How wrong you were. It was only when things started to get serious that he sat you down and explained everything that came with being a formula one driver; more importantly the fandom that he was involved in.

You had always been a private person and admittedly this piece of information almost broke your relationship but after some time to think you had decided that he was worth it all. You both decided it was a better idea to keep your relationship as quiet as possible - you took every precaution to make sure you stayed a stranger to the fans.

For the past 2 years, you thought you had managed to stay clear of the cameras, the photos and the twitch streams but it wasn’t until a fan-made compilation caused your world to spiral out of control.

You and Lando were out for a run, it was a part of your morning routine - a great way to start the day and it was time that you two could escape the motor sport world and act like a normal couple without worrying about who might be watching. It was time you both valued and appreciated. On this particular morning, Lando had decided to add to his Instagram story, a short video of his morning adventures - the mist still hanging around the trees as you ran under a heavily graffitied bridge, the early birds song chirping animatedly. At the time you didn’t think much of it as you were too busy tying your hair back up to notice.

It wasn’t until you got home and looked at his story that your heart stopped, rushing over to the kitchen island you placed your phone down and ran your fingers through your hair. It was a blink and you’ll miss it moment but in the corner of his video - the last millisecond before it ended - there was a flash of a purple top (the purple top you had been wearing) and a swish of brown hair as you chucked it back up into a ponytail.

“Lando.” You called out, trying to keep your voice as calm as you could. You didn’t know why it had affected you so much - or why you were so desperate to keep your identity a secret. It wasn’t like you wanted to hide your relationship; you were the happiest you ever had been, everyday was exciting and offered new prospects - it was more that you were so used to being in this bubble with Lando, the idea of it bursting seemed rather unappealing. Usually you didn’t care for how others saw you but seeing some of the words that people used to describe him, it would be enough to trouble even the thickest of skins.

Lando’s close proximity broke your thoughts as he stared down at your phone, pausing on the flash of brown and purple. “I am so sorry, love.” He almost whispered, his eyes widening at his carelessness. He picked your phone up to take a closer look.

“It will be alright, won’t it? I mean, it’s a blink and you’ll miss it.” You had said, more to reassure yourself than Lando. He didn’t answer, anxiety building in the pit of his stomach because he knew exactly what he had started.

The fan-made compilation didn’t go viral until a few hours later - as it turns out that flash of purple was the perfect cherry on top of an unappetising cake. Lando was sat on stream - not that this was out of the ordinary and Max had decided to join him, leaving you alone to rewatch Friends for the umpteenth time.

The pair were sat reacting to videos on YouTube when a clip of a seal swimming into a shoal of fish started playing - the amusing part was that they kept quickly dispersing away from the seal in question. Unsurprisingly, they laughed and Lando spluttered: “This is me trying to find a girlfriend.” What the fans didn’t know was the apparent irony of that sentence and this was what caused the major meltdown; whilst Lando and Max were busy crying with laughter - that chat had filled up with the same link and references to the video you would be redirected through.

Max was the first to stop laughing, tapping Lando on the shoulder as he pointed at the chat. Hundreds of the same message filled the screen: “That’s not what this compilation shows.” “Lando, what are you hiding from us?” “Lando and Max laughing knowing very well he has a girlfriend.”

“Chat what on earth are you waffling on about.” Max chuckled uneasily, looking at Lando out of the corner of his eye. Lando sat with a forced smile, his nostrils flaring as he continued through the comments. He could only let out a tense laugh as he swallowed thickly - his throat feeling suddenly dry. You were still sitting, completely engrossed and unaware that Lando Norris was now trending on twitter.

Max had come up with an excuse to end the stream not long after, Lando uncharacteristically quiet. His thoughts were with you in the other room, had you seen it? Did you know? How would you react? He felt as though he had lost all control, like he had failed you entirely - all he wanted to do was protect you yet he was the one to screw it up.

“Hey,” Max nudged his shoulder, “It was bound to happen at some point. Let’s go and see if she’s seen it - if not then -” He took a deep breath, “We will watch it together. We need to know what we are working with here.” Lando nodded, unable to reply, his body went into automatic pilot mode and too quickly he was standing facing you.

Pausing the tv, you looked at Lando - his jaw tightened and facial expressions set as though he had just seen a ghost. “Is everything ok?” You asked apprehensively.

“There’s something you need to see.” Max reached for his phone, pushing Lando onto the sofa. You offered your arm to Lando, pulling him into a hug. Max pulled up the video and pressed play. A tense atmosphere held the room hostage - breath restricted and gazes fixed onto the tiny screen in front of you.

It started with a clip from this year’s Goodwood - Lando preparing to drive his last hill climb - you remembered it well, a McLaren hat placed on your head mainly to cover your identity; knowing that there would be more than a few fans around. The clip moved to 3 separate stills - all of you in your McLaren hat. One with your back to the camera, you hand placed around Lando’s waist, the other two a side profile as you spoke to Max.

The reaction was immediate, you slapped your hand to your mouth, Lando looked horror-struck and Max was watching you carefully.

The video moved on, this time a clip from the quadrant video where Niran trains like Lando for 24 hours - Lando and Niran were in the kitchen preparing to eat their breakfast when once again the video moved to stills. This time they were of your reflection in the oven - holding the camera. You had thought at the time, if you were behind the camera it would stop every chance of you accidentally being caught on camera. Apparently not.

The video had moved on again, this time to stills of Lando arriving on track - of course there was no way for you to get on track without being photographed and you were fine with that because you would just arrive after Lando either with Jon or Charlotte. Photos of you arriving with Jon and Charlotte flashed up - with them you were just another member of staff but put with those other stills and it really did yell out that you and Lando were romantically involved. Finally the flash of purple from Lando’s story. The game was up.

“Oh my-” You stuttered as the video came to an end. Fortunately your Instagram hadn’t been shown but judged by how skilled you knew the fans to be - it would only be a matter of time. “I feel sick.” You admitted, wiping your hands across your face. Lando still hadn’t said a word, staring blankly at the floor. Max was the first to come up with something logical, turning to you and Lando.

“It will blow over.” He started, “The fans will soon lose interest and move onto the next big headline. We just need to ignore anything we see regarding the subject.” He moved his attention to you. “Maybe avoid social media for a few days. Let everyone cool down -” Sensing your means to interrupt, he held his hand up. “I know you shouldn’t have to and I know none of this is fair but unfortunately people have no boundaries and believe because it’s on social media it is their business. If they were in our situation, I’m pretty sure they would be the first to complain. Let’s just go along with it for now. It will give you time to think about what to do next.”

Lando cleared his throat, pulling you closer into him. “I’ve failed you. All I wanted to do was protect you.” At this, Max got up and left.

Shaking your head, you pressed your lips to his forehead. “You could never. Think about how long we kept it secret for. Besides, until we announce or admit anything - it isn’t confirmed.” You offered, trying to soothe his worries. He nodded, still not convinced.

“Our love is like a game and it’s not a game I enjoy playing.” He croaked, lacing your fingers together.

“I know, Lando, I know. Let’s let everything calm down and then we can think about what our next step is.”

Weeks later and it was the night before you were due to leave for your summer holiday. You would be spending it with Lando and some of his friends and family. Due to the current pandemic, it had been so long since you had been away - even if it was a bigger group of you going; you were still looking forward to spending that quality time with Lando.

Max had decided to take himself and Tom off to the streaming room - leaving you and Lando to sort out the remaining items you needed for your time away.

“I have a present for you.” He said suddenly, his hands behind his back. You beamed, taking a step closer to him. He shook his head, “If you want it - “ He pointed at his lips.

Rolling your eyes, you pecked his lips then held out your hands like a child. Lando chuckled, “Close your eyes.” Hands still outstretched and eyes closed, you waited for Lando to present you with your surprise. He grasped your left wrist and attached something to it - “No peeking.” He added. A moment or two later, he dropped his hold of your wrist and said: “You can open them now.” You could hear the smile on his lips. You opened your eyes and looked straight to your wrist - he had given you a pink watch. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked up at him, his eyes twinkled as he then pointed to the orange watch on his wrist.

“Watches?” You asked, confusion laced your tone.

Nodding, he said, “We all have matching watches but in different colours - they are for our holiday away.”

You gave him a lopsided grin and wrapped your arms around his neck, “I love it. Thank you.”

In the streaming room, Max was having to ignore the majority of the comments because they were all asking the same thing: “Who was the girl from the compilation.” He was trying his hardest to keep moving off the topic, instead showing off the watches - it had been his idea, blue for him, orange for Lando, a child’s watch for Tom and a pink watch for you. He had listed off all of the colours and said who they belonged to: “And then pink-” He paused, mentally face palming. He looked over to Tom for assistance - he hadn’t meant to say pink at all. “And pink is for someone.” He cursed his poor excuse but as if by magic - Lando walked through the door.

Distracting the stream from his slip up.

Croatia was a dream come true, the hot summer sun on your back and the time to just relax and recharge. Days spent with Lando sunbathing on the boat or stuck in a tense game of Uno. Not being the only female was brilliant as well - as they got to go off and not feel guilty about leaving you on your own.

Currently, you and Lando were standing in each other's arms - the afternoon drawing into the evening as the sun began to set. You had your arms around his neck and his arms were around your waist, sighing contentedly you broke the silence: “This is nice.” He pressed his lips into your hair, a sign that he agreed with your statement. In that moment, it was just you and him - everyone seemed to disappear from around you and all worries vanished. It was the simple yet affectionate moments that had always meant the most to you. You felt as though you could relax every muscle in your body, listening to his steady heartbeat - you wished for this moment to never end, to forever be in his arms and to not worry about who sees you there.

Ever since that compilation had been made, the thought had been on your mind a lot. Were you ready to go public with Lando? At the end of the day you were both happy and surely that was the most important thing.

Later that night, you were sitting eating your meal when a phone was handed to you, displayed on it was a picture of you and Lando - in each other’s arms.

Instantly you knew what this meant, looking at Lando you were met with the same expression. He did as well.

You and Lando had decided it was time to announce your relationship, there was no point sneaking around anymore if people knew and were looking out for you. You had agreed that the best way to do it was if you joined him in a stream, that way they got to know you a bit more for who you were.

“Is it ok to feel as nervous as I am?” You asked him, pulling up a chair beside him. He was setting up the stream, two mugs of tea placed in front of you. It seemed completely unnatural to sit facing the camera.

“I mean, this is kind of a big deal so yes I would say, it’s completely natural for you to feel nervous.” He reached for your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. Nodding, you took a deep breath.

“Ok. I’m ready.” You said, your heart beating at a million miles an hour. The corners of his lips turned up, leaning in to leave you a kiss on the lips.

“I love you and I’m so proud of you.” He admitted quietly, as though you were the only person in the world, his eyes flickered with complete adoration.

“I love you too. Now, shall we start it?”

Lando went to press the start stream button but paused. He turned back to face you, his eyes wide and offered an apologetic smile.

“What did you do?” You asked, a smile toying at your lips as you had an idea of what it might have been.

“Stream, meet my girlfriend.”

He had already started it...

#lando norris #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #f1 #f1 x reader #mclaren #lando norris oneshot #lando norris fanfiction #f1 2021 #f1 imagine #f1blr #formula one #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula one fanfiction #lando norris one shot #f1 requests #lando norris request #lando norris blurb

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wisconsin2002 · 2 years ago

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So.. Honestly I wasn't even gonna make this post cause Hazbin criticism has overwhelmed me to the point I'm actually numb to it and can't find myself to care anymore and just pass it off as someone's hot take that I don't agree with but they do indeed have the right to say it so I just respect it and take my leave.

But the couple criticisms I cant wrap my head around, are the ones surrounding Vaggie.

(Btw. This shit about to be long as fuck)

So I wanna go through two of those criticisms and just give my two cents. While also trying to be as unbiased as possible.

(that's gonna be hard😫)

Vaggie may be my favorite character but majority of what I'm saying will come from what I've seen from comics or the Pilot and kinda squash that in with my own opinion and theories aswell.

Starting off with Vaggie being a stereotype:

Yeah I gotta be honest I don't see it man. People say she's a stereotype for both lesbians and Latinas but I just don't see it. They say Lesbian stereotype because her name is "Vaggie" which sounds like Vagina (apparently💀) and Lesbians like...Vagi-.

Look man you get the idea😩

and Angel Dust mentioned that and made a joke about it in the comics which brought even more attention and anger. Which I think it's just a misunderstanding but people being mad about it is valid.

But I think it's a misunderstanding because I don't think Vaggies name has anything to do with the fact that she's lesbian at all. Had it been so.. why would her name still be Vaggie since BEFORE she was confirmed Lesbian? Vaggie still had that name even in the comics where her and Angel Dust were still a couple and before she was written to have any involvement with Charlie at all as a couple, friend or even acquaintance.

Not too mention that, (And I think a lot of people either forgot this, didnt care to search it up or just did not know in general). But Vaggie is not her full name. Her full real first name is Vagatha. Which honestly doesn't even sound like vagina anymore. It's literally just Agatha, but with a "V" and Agatha is a real name that people have had before. And most likely still carries on somewhere in the world. In fact a very famous writer is called Agatha Christie. I think Vivzie got inspiration for Vagatha off of her or Agatha Harkness, the witch from the Marvel comics. Agatha also means "Good women" in Greek so I mean there's that aswell cause as we've seen, out of the whole cast, except for Charlie of course, Vaggie is definitely the more down to earth demon.

Or maybe she just got creative and made it up💀,

Just heard Agatha and decided to slap a "V" on that bish.😂

who knows man. But yeah I really doubt she just got the name just off of the simple concept of Vaggie being a Lesbian. My theory is that something happened in her family or her past in general where they cut her name down to Vaggie instead of her full name. But that's just my theory.

Anyways time for the Latina stereotype claim:

Appearently people think Vaggie is this always angry edgy stereotype of a latina.

And to that I have to say....

Did.. Yall... Not watch....the pilot?.

No no sorry.. Wrong question. Let me rephrase

Did yall not pay attention to ANY of the Vaggie scenes in the pilot? If not let me refresh.

Let's see.

1. Tells Charlie not to sing and she sings anyway.

2.Angel Dust fucking bails on them when they needed him most and leaves them to make a fool of themselves on the news.

3. The entire news audience literally makes fun of the person she loves (that' being Charlie) and her idea and one of them literally throws hands with Charlie.

4. She has a whole limo ride back to the hotel with Angel Dust who doesn't even give one damn that he did wrong on his word to be there in Support of the hotel.

5. ALASTOR

6. There Being a literal bar In a place where sins are discouraged and Charlie and Vagatha most likely are trying to help people sober up if they had any drug addictions. Which I'M PRETTY FUCKING SURE THEY DO.

(*cough* *cough* Angel Dust *cough*)

7. Alastor AGAIN! 💀

(Btw I love Alastor. He's a great character, and an asexual icon such as myself😌. But I gotta admit, it's funny this man literally mistreated Vaggie in majority of the scenes they shared and nobody said nor mentioned anything about it, but some people were so quick to call Vaggie a toxic partner when she pushed Charlie's face away in the comics because of... Oh.. Idk... PERSONAL SPACE BRUH! You know even couples are entitled to their privacy. That shouldn't come as a shock but....I guess it does. )

I mean do I really have to explain why Vaggie being a stereotype of an edgy angry Latina just doesn't fit? I would hope not but screw it.

Well first because Vaggie is Salvadoran which actually makes her Hispanic, not Latina. 💀 I Mean Hispanic stereotypes do exist don't get me wrong but I still just don't see it fit in this case.

It doesn't fit because Vaggie is reasonably understandably angry in every scene. Literally every scene! When she's angry you can clearly see the way she's being treated aswell in that scene and it's always like shit!

I think its the tone of these scenes that make people just kind of skip over them, cause they were played out so well into this looney toon slapstick type character comedy to disguise the abuse and absolute mistreatment of Vaggie towards majority of her pilot screentime.

However I will admit that Vaggie does indeed have anger issues that she needs to work on. That most likely being one of her main character flaws that we might see more of and explore more in the actual show. But it absolutely had nothing to do with her race, nationality or anything close to that manner. And as a Hispanic myself, I just gotta say. I'm so tired of being put in this box and the characters I relate and can see myself in being put into a box where you can't fall out of line from your race like you're not your own fucking person. It's just so... Meh and controling. 😒

I remember when people called speedy Gonzales a stereotype and they tried to get rid of him in the looney tune shows and Hispanics were Not having ANY OF IT! It was so funny to see🤣 they fucking fought for that fucking mouse and I was right there with them man. Fuck you. Speedy Gonzales is the shit and you will not take him from us. ✊🏼

Anyways😂 got off track💀

Like yeah Vaggie had a stick up her ass but literally anyone would if you had to go through half the shit she went through.

And she didnt even have that stick up her ass in the beginning of the pilot either. She was actually sort of calm and collected and was just focused on helping Charlie at the news station. I mean yeah she was a bit worried but not FOAMING AT THE MOUTH WITH ANGER or edgy in the slightest.

Anyway when it comes down to it. Vaggie is the most misunderstood character in Hazbin Hotel in my opinion and I think that has to do with people's lack of interest in her and some people's huge bias hatred towards Vivzie and her work.

Either way I just want to make it perfectly clear👌

that I'm not here to tear you a new ass over your opinion. I was just giving mine with points and facts to follow it up. That's all.

Whether you continue to hate Vivizies work and believe Vaggie is a stereotype is in your own lane to do so.

Just felt like I had to say that cause the last time somone felt their opinion was attacked by me I got told to get stoned to death and or kill myself so😂.. Just avoiding the chance of that bullshit again.

I'm gonna end this off by saying thank you very much for those of you that read the whole thing and for those I may or may not helped see a side of Vaggie they probably missed the first time around watching the pilot.

Here's a cookie🍪

It's whatever flavor you want it to be.

#hazbin hotel #vaggie

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wooahaes · 3 years ago

Text

a short escape

pairing: jeongwoo x fem!reader

prompt: n/a [priv bday prompt list]

word count: 0.8k~

warnings: heights mention (its literally a hot air balloon ride)! that is all.

daisy’s notes: sorry if this one is bad but also. soft short hot air balloon ride date my beloved.

Jeongwoo refused to tell you where he was taking you. The only thing he told you was a time to be ready and awake, and to bring a light jacket in case you needed it. You were a little wary, at first, since being picked up by your boyfriend who told you “you’ll see” every time you broached the subject of where he was taking you on your birthday was cause for concern. He wasn’t taking you to any surprise party at his place, from what you could tell--and, honestly, you were thankful for that. He promised you that the hour and a half train ride would be worth it when you finally made it to the station that morning, and the twinkle in his eyes was enough to make you trust him.

Of course, you still had no idea what he was planning, so that little wrench was still a pain to deal with. Every prodding question resulted in a playful little “trust me” that you eventually accepted. You’d been dating Jeongwoo long enough that you assumed he wouldn’t surprise you with anything bad. If he was spending his entire day with you like this, then surely it couldn’t be anything too bad... right?

He squeezed your hand in the taxi ride over, watching excitedly out the windows until he finally pointed out the large clearing coming up. Hot air balloons. “There,” he said. “What do you think? I looked into it and they’re really safe, I promise--”

You just stared out the window. “You really want to ride in one?”

“You don’t?” He frowned. “You said you thought it’d be romantic...”

You did. You placed your hand over his. “Are you sure you want to ride in one?”

“I went bungee jumping!” He said, “I can handle a hot air balloon. We’ll have a pilot, too. We have nothing to worry about,” he beamed. “I’m glad the weather’s good.”

Despite your slight reservation about being up in the air (heights weren’t a fear of yours’, but being high that up did make you a little weak in the knees), you were excited. Just you, Jeongwoo, and the person piloting the balloon for a bit. You could see the world for a bit and just let everything else disappear for a bit. The two of you get checked in for the reservation, and listen to the precautions from the pilot. Soon enough, you were in the basket with Jeongwoo at your side, tightly holding your hand. The balloon began to ascend, heat radiating in thick waves off of the gas cylinder as the envelope became more and more inflated.

Soon enough, you were three hundred meters in the air, and the world was beautiful. Jeongwoo kept your hand tightly in his the entire time, the other gripping the basket as the two of you just sat in silence for a moment at how pretty everything could be from a birds’ eye view.

“I know it isn’t much,” he leaned in to whisper to you, making sure you could hear over everything else, “but I thought you’d like this.”

“I do.” You leaned into his side, intertwining your fingers with his. “We should have lunch before we head back.”

“I like this.” He said suddenly, staring out into the distance. “Being here with you. You make me feel like...”

You looked at him, watching for a moment longer. “Like?”

“Like I’m just Jeongwoo.” He didn’t look at you. He just continued to stare out into the horizon, the fading blues of the distance a needed distraction. “I like being able to follow my dream, but... It’s nice to just be me sometimes.”

“I’m glad I can give you that,” you said. “I like being able to see this side of you.”

“It’s your birthday,” he said, smiling at you as he finally looked at your face. “I should be giving you something.”

If it weren’t for the pilot, you’d consider kissing him. But you hold back on that thought. You could kiss him later. Right then and there was the time to enjoy each other’s company in a small space where labels didn’t exist. Where the two of you could just be two people in love, and nothing more than that. No school or future finals or stresses of being someone’s daughter, or someone with responsibilities.

When the balloon began it’s descent, you held on tight to the basket, Jeongwoo’s hand covering your own. The pilot warned you that the landing could be bumpy--capsizing at the worst--but thankfully you get lucky. Jeonwoo bumped into you once the basket hit the ground, immediately apologizing a few times as he checked you over to make sure you were okay.

It was only for maybe ten, twenty minutes, but it was more than enough.

#wooahaes.fic #treasure imagine #treasure x reader #treasure x you #treasure fics #treasure fluff #jeongwoo fluff #jeongwoo x reader #park jeongwoo x reader #i feel. weird writing for him just bc i feel like i dont have a good enough grip on him as a person :(#maybe i am a fool and this is bad lol

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laf-outloud · 2 years ago

Note

So I'm one of the ones affected by the FIOS blackout. I tried to give TW a shot, the pilot was terrible, and I was going to try to give the next two episodes a shot to see if it got any better but that's all I was going to expose myself to. For me personally, the blackout is a blessing in disguise, because my brain doesn't need to be bleached and I refuse to go out of my way to continue watching that monstrosity. As we know, there are other ways to watch it if we really want to watch it, that can count towards interest in the show/profit, Amazon for example. So AA's claims of FIOS being the reason TW is suffering in ratings is bs.

Now, the FIOS blackout is also a curse because I was enjoying WIndy but now... I have however ordered the whole season on Amazon. That show rocks! It sucks not being able to watch it with you guys when it airs on Thursdays but at least I'm not losing the show entirely. I have yet to see episode 3 but I'm going to try to catch up this weekend. That show is amazing and strongly stands on its own.

That's the difference between the two. One has great storytelling, a diverse and talented cast, quality production value, and people working on said production who actually care about putting out a good product. The other...well...not so much lol. It's an evident cash grab. And the way things are going, there's not going to be that much to grab.

Ouch! Sorry you had to sit through any part of TW. And double-ouch that FIOS ruined your WIndy watching. I'm glad you're getting WIndy through Amazon! It's a great way to show your appreciation for a wonderful show that, like you said, people working on it truly care about. It really is a world of difference between the two.

And if you'd still like to live tweet with the fandom, here are a couple of online streaming sites to watch live:

#ask box #anti spn prequel #what a train wreck #WIndy appreciation #WIndy viewing #live streams

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coreychick · 3 years ago

Text

Chapter 17: The Truth

Part of the In the Dark Series: 18+ Smut & Story /Romance and Adventure Din X Fem!Reader Insert Just a reminder, I do not post warnings, so if you have triggers, this may not be a story for you.

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter / All Chapters

The walk back to the Crest is quiet. You have a hundred thoughts running circles around your brain. Mando is quiet too, seemingly caught up in his own thoughts. Not much is said beyond a compromise you both make regarding where you’d head to next. Obviously, you want to stay and meet up with Vale again tomorrow- the answers you’ve been seeking lay just beyond tomorrow’s sunrise.

Mando wants to pull up stakes and leave the system now, content to put Hunter’s World- or maybe Vale specifically- in the past. You both agree to sleep on it and come to a decision in the morning, though Mando refuses to remain docked in Keyorin’s port. You suggest finding a nice open spot out in the untouched parts of the landscape, but Mando insists on leaving the area all together. He doesn’t trust the people here and insists that you’ll both be better off floating just beyond the exosphere of the planet. It’s not easy, when he fires up the engines and begins the ascent. You have a brief moment of panic as the planet’s surface grows smaller and less distinct out the window, but you trust Mando when he says he’s just taking the Crest somewhere safe for the night.

You watch from the passenger seat as Mando pilots the ship to a “safe area”. He navigates it a few miles out into space and a stunning aurora of greens and fuchsias halo the planet off in the distance. Mando flicks switches, presses some buttons and enters a sequence into his navigation computer. It’s then that you recall the empty astromech port you spied in the utility room above. Mando is probably the only pilot you’ve ever heard of who chooses not to employ an astromech. They were extremely convenient with their ability to communicate with the ship, make repairs, co-pilot and calculate jumps into hyperspace in a matter of seconds. However, Mando, for whatever reason, chooses to do everything manually, himself.

“Why do you hate the droids?” you ask softly. Not really sure why you’ve chosen this moment to finally ask, but you know there is a conversation pending- one that might make or break this fragile alliance you’ve both been building these past weeks, and right now, in this moment, you're searching for a way to understand him better.

“They have no honor.” he says, simply.

You consider it for a moment, not entirely sure what he is referring to. You’ve seen plenty of pilots as you’ve made your way across the galaxy. Many of them treated their droids as partners- friends even. Though, you suppose for every pilot who valued their droid co-pilot, there were probably a dozen that viewed them as nothing more than property. Mando’s distaste seems to be rooted in something deeper.

“What do you mean?”

Mando finishes inputting his sequence. The Crest’s engines wind down, content to drift, a speck of steel amidst the vastness of space. Mando keeps his promise- Hunter’s World remains visible in the far distance. He spins around in his pilot's seat, leaning back into his chair. He crosses his feet at the ankles like he’s settling in for a long nap. You imagine he takes up this position in his chair when he’s traveling- alone, often.

“Droids have no souls, so they risk nothing when they step into battle. They will kill indiscriminately, caring not for the lives of innocents. There’s no honor in their actions.”

The way he says it, this isn’t just a passing notion, this is his personal experience. He’s lived this undeniable truth.

He’s lost something dear.

Your chin dips down, eyes landing on the rivets that line the floor paneling.

“I’m so sorry. What happened to you?”

He takes a deep breath.

“I was raised in a small settlement on Aq Vetina. The people there were not violent- they didn’t have weapons. No way to defend themselves. I don’t think my father had ever held a blaster in his entire life. An army of B-2 battle droids descended on us, without warning…” - he pauses, and you hear him swallow down the invisible lump of words that don’t want to come out. “They razed the village to the ground, took no prisoners. Didn’t matter if you were young, old, armed or not. Everybody died.”

Your eyes well up, tears threatening to spill.

“How old were you?”

“Nine.” he says.

Nine. Just nine years old. Just a youngling. To see the things he must’ve seen that day. Chills run down your spine.

“How did you escape?”

“We ran. There’s no way I could keep up, so my father carried me as we tried to find a way out, but there was nowhere to go. Every possible exit was blocked by a battle droid. The people were being mowed down, slaughtered by ground fire. My parents hid me in an underground hatch... big enough for one. They told me to be brave and that they loved me. They closed the hatch doors and that was the last I ever saw of them. An explosion rocked the shelter seconds later. A B-2 found me and was about to put me down. That’s when they showed up.”

“Who?” You ask, sweeping away a silent tear from your cheek.

“The Mandalorians. They dropped from the sky to defend what was left of the village. A Mandalorian saved me. They took me in, accepted me as one of their own.”

No wonder he didn’t trust the machines, he literally watched them annihilate his entire family. It made sense.

“I’m so sorry Din.” It’s the first time you say his name- out of the throes- and it feels right, because he just shared the most humanizing experience with you. You see beyond the suit of beskar, beyond the weapons and the creed. You see a man who has loved and lost something. You wonder if you are the only living person he’s ever shared this with? Your gut says, yes.

“It’s okay- was a long time ago.”

You suddenly wonder if your life would have been easier if you had just accepted the cards you had been dealt. Din certainly seems better for it, and your life has been a long series of one problem after another. You had both suffered similar losses and while he had accepted it and moved on, you have spent a lifetime looking backward and running away from the future.

You sit in silence after that, peacefully watching the dancing waves of pink and green light that paint the starry sky in the distance. Eventually Mando suggests that you should hit the rack and get some sleep.

“I don’t think I can sleep unless we come to some sort of agreement on what’s happening tomorrow.”

A few beats pass and you continue, “You know I can’t walk away now, not when I’m so close to finding these answers.”

“I know.” he agrees. “I don’t like it, but I know.” He sighs, that way he always does when things aren’t going according to his plan. “And I know, short of putting you into carbonite, there’s no way you’ll go without a fight.”

Fear strikes your heart like lightning, at the thought. You remain silent wondering if he is actually considering that as an option or not.

“What would you have me do?” You ask, zero hostility in your voice. Just simply, a friend seeking advice from another friend. You want to know all your options.

“If it were up to me? We’d set a course, leave this planet immediately. We’d search for the new Mandalorian covert. With their assistance, I believe we could track down the Jedi.”

“And what if we can’t find a jedi?”

“I always find what I am looking for.”

You smile at his words, always so confident.

“But, what if?”

He sighs at the possibility. “Then we go into deep hiding where nobody can find us.”

“That didn’t turn out so well for us the last time.”

Mando’s chest rises and falls heavily at the reminder.

“That was laying low. Not deep hiding. It’s a mistake I won’t make again.”

“What do you mean ‘deep hiding?’”

“Some quarries are smarter than others, but eventually all of them make a mistake- A mistake that leads me straight to their door. None of them understand what it takes to truly disappear.”

“What does it take? How does one truly disappear?” you ask, settling back into the passenger’s seat, crossing your legs in your seat.

“Outwitting a good hunter requires complete dedication and sacrifice. It’s not easy.”

“Tell me. What would it take to evade the one and only Din Djarin?” you say, teasingly, with a grandiose tone.

He hesitates and you wonder if it’s because he still fears you running from him-fears you’ll use this information against him or if it's because you used his real name.

“If something were to happen to you, and I needed to disappear, it might be good for me to know.” you add.

He gives a short nod and begins to paint a picture.

“The first step in disappearing when you are being hunted is erasure. You have to erase all traces. You have to cut all ties with everyone you know. If you can do it slowly over a given amount of time, that’s even better. It means your friends and family won’t be looking for you immediately.”

“Well, step one shouldn’t be too hard.”

He nods.

“Next, you’ll need to lie, deflect and mislead every conversation you have. Lying will be the only way to survive.”

Check, check, check. A pang of guilt flares through your body at the truth of it. Lying is something you may know a thing or two about.

You simply nod, “Go on.”

“Avoid all digital and paper trails. Deal only in physical currency...no banks.”

“No problems there, I prefer working in trades anyway.” Bartering had always been the way, when you were living off of the land.

“Travel alone. No friends, no pets.”

Damn, there goes that dog I always wanted.

“Keep it a solo mission….got it. I mean, so far, I feel like I’ve got this in the bag, Mando, doesn’t sound too hard to me.”

Mando gives you a slight snort of amusement.

“No loose ends, so pay off all your debts- that will eliminate the pool of people looking for you.”

“None to speak of…so I’m good on that front. I dunno Mando, I’m starting to wonder how dumb your bounties really are.” you say, teasingly.

“Leave no trace. Leave nothing behind. If you can’t take it with you, burn it out of existence.”

“Never really had any personal belongings anyway. Anything I had, I lost when the raiders took me.”

Your hand instinctively goes to the pendant dangling from your neck. The one Din gave you. You rub your thumb across the smooth metal, tracing the shape of the mythosaur with the pad of your thumb. The gesture is oddly soothing. It’s the closest thing you have to personal property now- only it doesn’t belong to you, not really. Your hand falls away.

“Here’s where most fail. The next step is misdirection.”

“What does that mean?”

“Now that you’ve erased all traces, you need to set bogus trails for the hunter to follow. This will accomplish two goals. First, it keeps your hunter busy searching for you in all the wrong places. The longer the hunter spends searching, the more expensive it becomes to find you. A lot of hunters will grow impatient and abandon a hunt when it no longer becomes profitable. If you don’t set false trails, then any new lead becomes a link to you, but if you set false trails, the hunter won’t be able to tell the real ones from the false ones- it becomes a lot of work to detangle those lines.”

OK, this might be more complicated than you initially thought.

“How exactly do you set false trails?”

“There’s essentially three parts to a good false trail. The hook, the line, and the sinker. The hook is a piece of information you purposely leave behind for your hunter to find. It will appear real by all outside appearances. Let’s say for example, you travel through a large city. You can set your hook. This could be something like sending a traceable communication from that location. You know your hunter will find access to it and follow it. Next, you cast your line. Lay a false trail of breadcrumbs around the city. Inquire about job opportunities, ask for rental applications, pay for something a long term resident might need, some type of transportation or suitable clothing for the atmosphere- something to indicate you plan on staying for a while. Last comes the sinker- basically a clue so wild that the hunter is completely thrown off. For example, you could open an account with a bank, put a few hundred credits in it and then pass the security card onto an intergalactic traveler. Now suddenly, there’s traces of you spending credits all over the galaxy. One week you're buying a drink in a Tatooine bar, the next you’re buying cold weather gear at an outpost on Hoth. Meanwhile, the real you is on the other end of the galaxy.”

Clever. It strikes you then that Mando’s reputation is due to much more than his brute strength. He’s smart, cunning, and ingenuitive. It's a major fucking turn on.

“Wow. Okay, that does sound a lot more complicated than I initially thought.”

“It’s the key to vanishing. If you can adopt a new persona on top of that, your chances of remaining hidden will increase. Change your appearance. You want to blend in with the crowd. If you can hide your face, all the better. Be the background. Stay in the shadows. The further you go, the safer you’ll be...and the more isolated, the better.”

Your eyes water a little bit, all humor in the conversation lost. Isolation. I’ve been isolated my whole maker-forsaken life. It’s nothing new to you. But before, there was the hope that it wouldn’t always be that way, that things might change. But now, if you were to really go on the run, you’d be signing up for a lifetime of it.

I can manage.

What you can’t manage though, is the thought of Mando having to do it too- because of you. Nobody should have to suffer that way. How would that even work? How do you hide a Mandalorian when they literally draw the gaze of every single passerby? It’d never work. Though the initial thought of living out a life alongside Mando has its appeal, it just wouldn’t be fair to him. Whether he admits it or not, he has friends. It didn’t take long to see how fond of Kuill he was. He has family too. “The Mandalorians accepted me as one of their own.”

I could never do that to him.

As the thoughts cross your mind, you have to fight back another tear from spilling.

Get your shit together.

You mentally slap away those thoughts and put your chin up.

“One day Mando, that’s all I ask. One day to get the answers I need. Then we can find a covert and you can take me to the Jedi.”

You hope he doesn’t detect the slight shake in your voice.

He nods. “One day.”

“Okay then,” you say, getting up to leave the cockpit.

Mando doesn’t follow, content to remain in his pilot’s chair as you settle into the bed on the hull floor. You pull the blanket tightly around you, having opted to sleep in your clothes instead of Mando’s shirt tonight. You didn’t need the scent of his skin- beskar, ash and earth- torturing you all night. Instead, you try to focus on tomorrow and what answers might lie ahead. Hours later, you drift off to sleep alone.

It’s just after dawn. You hardly slept a wink the night before, lost to thoughts of finally learning the truth, the possibility of facing a past you might be better off not knowing. Din had remained in the cockpit as well, though you have no idea how or if he slept- always the quiet one. You on the other hand tossed and turned, unable to find comfort, though it had little to do with the bed and everything to do with running worst case scenarios through your head on repeat.

It was a surprise when Sin Shikara was waiting at the port upon the Razor Crest’s return. Her cheeks were rosy, her coloring- bright and youthful- despite the perturbed expression she wore. At least somebody got a good night’s sleep. She had been waiting there for your return, with the gift of a new coat in her hands. You had accepted, considering the nature of the weather, and wondered how exactly you would explain to Vale that you wouldn’t be able to return to him, the trench coat that he had lent you the night before.

She had taken you to a public meeting place by way of transport, to meet up with Vale. You were again, surprised at the early morning call, but excited that it was obviously as important to Vale as it was to you- since he had cleared his schedule. He had chosen the Keyorin waterway, a public frontage where the city meets the ocean.

The air was thick with moisture, the previous night’s snow replaced with bouts of rain and fog. Currently, there was a brief reprieve from the downpour, which allowed for you and Vale to walk side by side along the waterway. Mando had agreed to give the both of you “space to talk”, though he remained within sight, trailing several hundred paces behind. You could feel his stare on the back of your neck, confident that he was tracking every move being made between the two of you.

Vale takes your arm in hand, politely directing you over to the railing that overlooks the ocean. You plant your elbows on the handrail and take in the view. It’s a dreary ocean, almost black in color and the waves crashing on the shore are like those you’d see when a storm is brewing. There’s no beach to speak of, but instead, a wash of concrete that disappears right into the waterline. Elsewhere, the waves crash up against the sides of the buildings and you wonder how it is that the infrastructures don’t topple into the sea. The mere idea of it causes an uneasy feeling to settle over you.

“Quite a sight, isn’t it?” Vale says.

“Unlike any ocean I’ve ever seen- certainly different than home.”

“That’s because it’s not really an ocean, not anymore at least.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was an ocean once, a long time ago. Now, it’s only one step above a hologram.”

Your eyes search the waters. You can feel the spray of the ocean when a wave strikes the wall below hard enough. It certainly looked real, felt real enough.

“You’re joking?”

“No,” he says with amusement. “I mean, the water is real enough, but the seabed was replaced by machine made surfaces long ago and I highly doubt if there’s any natural marine life left that could survive. It all runs by machine now.”

Your brows scrunch up, disbelieving.

“Look at the water,” he says, leaning in close to point out a spot to the left, where the water swirls. “Just there, you see? The machines, they can't mimic the natural ebb and flow of the tides. It’s too erratic, too manufactured. Some things just cannot be replicated, you know?”

“But why do this?”

“Tinketh Fo.” Vale answers, with a smile. “He oversees all business on Keyorin. He’s smart but also extremely paranoid, hides his wealth at the bottom.”

“You're kidding.” you say in astonishment, looking out over the false waters. It doesn’t escape you, that he is offering up some privileged information, meant to put you at ease since he is showing good faith in trusting you with it.

“It’s true.”

"You work for him?"

"ehhh, not exactly. He lets me do business here."

"And in exchange, what does he get?"

"Let's just say we have a mutual agreement."

You take a deep beath, choosing not to push the issue to quickly.

“Certainly nothing like home. I’m surprised you can stand it here. Not a single tree or animal. You don’t even have a real ocean.” you tease with a haughty smirk.

“You’re right. I’ve become a master at adapting to new surroundings, necessity of the trade, I’m afraid.”

“So, Vale huh? And what exactly is your trade Vale ?” you say, exaggerating the name, because you both know it’s not his real one.

“Are you a smuggler? Slave owner? Thief? What life have you chosen over that of a Bestine fisherman or farmer?”

“Yes. No. Yes. I guess you could say that I dabble in a lot of things. You do what you can to survive, until one day, you get really good at it.”

“Do you hurt people?” There in lies the real question. What kind of man has he become?

“Not good people. Never good people."

You’d have to think more about that, later.

“And what about you Bunny ? No longer sleeping in foxholes I take it?”

“What’s wrong with a foxhole? They’re warm, cozy, and provided us both shelter more than a few times.”

“That they did.” he says, with a warm smile. “But how’d you go from sleeping in foxholes to traveling the galaxy with a bounty hunter?”

“He helped me find you.” you say matter of factly. No need to do a deep dive into that story right now.

Vale takes a moment, his gaze looking past you to where you know Mando is watching from a distance. He reaches into his trench- which you suddenly realize he is once again wearing- and pulls out a small device. Your mind scrambles to make sense of it. How is he wearing the trench coat that you know- without a doubt- Mando had tossed away, outside the alleyway? Either he has a complete closet full of duplicates -in which case….psycho! - or…. Someone was watching us last night. Your cheeks begin to heat at the thought, but you quickly decide not to acknowledge it. Chickening out and instead, you direct your thoughts elsewhere.

“What’s that?” you say, nodding to the small device he holds in his hand.

“This…” he says, pushing a few small buttons before placing it back in his coat, “is a signal scrambler. It’ll ensure our conversation stays private.”

“What do you mean? I didn't come here wired, if that's what you're thinking.”

“No, but your bounty hunter over there is listening to every word we say.”

You hadn’t thought about that before, not that you had any reason too. You turn a casual glance back toward Mando, and notice that his body stiffens, his hand reaching up to fiddle with the sensor on the side of his helmet. He had been listening. And no wonder he agreed to give you some space to talk. If he could hear everything that was being said, he felt comfortable enough to remain close by, as he would know if things were taking a bad turn.

“There, now we can talk freely.”

“I’m sorry, I thought we already were.” Now you wonder if there’s ever been another time when you weren’t aware that Mando was listening too. A rolodex to shuffle through another time.

“Is he holding you against your will?”

“What?” you say taken aback.

“Are you his prisoner? Did he force you to seek me out?”

“No, why would you think that?”

“The galaxy is not as big as you may think it is, Bunny . Word reached me several weeks ago, that a Mandalorian bounty hunter had betrayed the guild, stolen some very valuable cargo. And now you show up, silver buckethead in tow.”

Your cheeks heat again. Realizing that he already knew who you were the second you landed on Keyorin. It was stupid to assume that word hadn’t reached this far. If he knows, others do too.

“Don’t call me Bunny .”

“You never minded it before.”

“I always minded it!” you snap back, starting to feel a little embarrassed at your naivety. Mando tried to warn me. Maybe he was right. Maybe you shouldn’t have come. The thought of putting him in danger now, was starting to prickle your skin. Selfish.

“Shhh, calm down Bunny, or you're liable to set him off.” he says, finding it all too funny.

You look back at Mando, his posture visibly tense. He probably saw your irritation and was growing concerned. You smile in his direction, offering a thumbs up so that he knows you are ok.

“So, are you, his captive?”

“What would you do if I were?”

“I’d take him out, right here and now. I’d squash him under my boot until that tin can is nothing more than an oversized paper weight.”

Your hands begin to squeeze the railing, flexing with irritation.

“Hmmm, suddenly overcome with the need to protect me?”

“Yes, that hasn’t changed.”

“Well, it’s not your job anymore.”

“I’m your brother, it will always be my job.”

You have to take a massive gulp of air to calm your nerves. The feelings are starting to come out, the ones you had hoped to avoid, but knew you’d have to confront if you wanted answers. It didn’t make it any easier to deal with though, and right now your coping mechanism was to default to anger.

“It’s not. Not anymore. I had to learn to take care of myself, a long time ago.”

Was that guilt that flashed across his face?

“And no. I’m not his captive. I was. We had a rough start, but he’s given up a lot to help me. I trust him.”

“You can trust me too.”

“Can I? I haven't heard from you in years, and now you think, simply because we share blood, that I should trust you?”

“C'mon, We share a lot more than blood and you know it. I taught you how to survive out there.”

“You taught me how to be alone.”

He planted his palms on the railing as well, hanging his head between his arms in frustration for a moment.

“I know that’s how it seemed…”

“No, that’s how it was.” you cut him off. “You left me scared and alone. I didn’t even know if you were alive or dead, or if I…” you trail off, swallowing down the last words.

“I know.” he says, pulling you into a tight hug. You want to resist, but it suddenly feels like something you both need. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, resting the top of his chin on your head. It feels familiar, tugs on a memory from a long long time ago.

“You were my best friend. And then you were just…gone.”

“I know Bunny . I’m sorry. It was the only way I knew how to protect you at the time.”

“Tell me. Tell me what happened that night. I need to know.”

“What do you remember?” he says, pulling away to look down into your eyes.

Immediately, your eyes begin to well, thinking back to what you can remember.

“I remember father…He’d been away for years. We didn’t think he was ever coming back, but he showed up that day. I remember…them fighting. He said he wanted to take me with him. I wanted to go. Mom said I couldn’t go. I was mad. I hated her for not letting me go. We argued….and then….” You dig your palms into your eye sockets, rubbing, trying to squeeze forth the memories from your brain.

“Go on…”

“Something inside me was loosed. I don’t know what, but I felt like I could fix it. And then…darkness. For days, it felt like I was trapped in the dark. I knew they were dead, but I don’t remember how I knew, I just knew.”

You inhale a deep breath. A steady stream of tears streak down your cheek.

“After that. I don’t remember anything. Not until the orphanage. I woke up there, and you were gone. I knew Mom and Dad were dead…and you were gone .”

The look on Vale’s face was one of remorse. He truly did look like he was sorry.

“I need you to fill in the blanks, I need to know what happened.”

He sighs, nodding his head in agreement.

“Does the Mandalorian know what you can do? Know about your abilities?”

“Yes. That’s why he is helping me. I saved his life.” and he saved mine.

Vale reluctantly nods his understanding, letting go to lean up against the railing.

“Before we head down memory lane, I want you to know that you are welcome to stay here, with me. In fact, I want you to. I can look after you now. Before, I was just a kid- not much older than you. And after that night, I knew I wasn’t enough to keep you safe. But now, I know I can.”

Your heart squeezes at his offer. You look around at the cold gray world before you.

“I don’t think I could stay here. This isn’t really my scene…and there are people that are looking for me…” you trail off shaking your head ‘no’.

“But, Thank you for the offer.”

“Then we’ll leave.” he says, simply.

The look on your face is one of surprise and confusion…maybe a little bit of hope.

“You’ll be safe with me. I have the means and the power to protect you. I’ll walk away from all this right now. We can go wherever you want.”

“You’d leave this behind? For me, Why? You don't even know me.”

“You’re my sister. I know you. I should have come for you a long time ago, I’m sorry. We should be taking care of each other.”

You stare back at him blankly. These are words you have waited your whole life to hear, only now that you are finally hearing them, it’s not coming from the person you wish they were.

“You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

You gently shake your head ‘no’.

“There are others…like me. Mando is taking me to find them. Maybe, after…” you start to say.

Vale interjects, “You mean Jedi?”

Again, his words startle you.

“Yes. You know about the Jedi?”

The look on Vale’s face turns stony, his chin lifting.

“Our father was Jedi.”

“No,” you shake your head. “That can’t be right. I would’ve heard of this?”

“You were only youngling, Bunny . There was a lot you didn’t know yet.”

“Jedi?” You say in disbelief. “How come I’m only learning this now?”

“It wasn’t discussed. Mother forbade it.”

“But, why?”

“The Jedi might not be what you think they are. Yes, they have abilities, like you. But they are not like us .” It was the way he said ‘ us’ , that gave you pause.

“What do you mean, not like us ?”

“You know, father only visited every few years. He didn’t care about us or what we were doing or how we were living. That’s because he viewed us as a weakness. We were potential ‘attachments’ and Jedi are forbidden from forming personal ‘attachments’.”

“How do you know this?”

“Mother told me, many times. I would question why he was never there to help us when we struggled. Why he would disappear for years between visits and why she would always accept him back into her bed when he did return. I never understood how she could love him when he threw us away.”

Your mind begins racing with his words.

“Whatever you hope to learn from them…you’re probably better off not knowing.”

Could what he was saying possibly be true? Your mind calls back, pulling on every memory you can think of to see if this new puzzle piece of information fits within your memories. Sadly, it feels like it does. He abandoned his family because he was forbidden from forming personal attachments? How could he do such a thing? He gave us up… for what?

“That’s why they fought that day. It had been years since he had been back to check in on us. When he saw you, he recognized what you were, wanted to take you with him, said you’d ‘need to be trained’. We refused. I didn’t want that cold hearted bastard taking you away, to turn you into something like him . You’re not like that…not like them.”

Your stomach began to sour, your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

“It’s ok Bunny, you’re not like they are, not like him. ”

This didn’t make sense, didn’t feel right. In the back of your mind, for months, you had resigned yourself to the idea that if the lead on Vale didn’t pan out, that at least there was a group of people out there like you, waiting to accept you, welcome you as one of their own. Now it seemed, those ideas may have been in vain.

“But you are.”

Vale takes a step back, visibly assaulted by your words.

“You left me, just like he left us.”

His mouth clamps shut, his jaw visibly ticking. Your words striking something deep in his chest.

“Why? Why did you leave? You must have had a good reason to leave me there.”

He remains silent, but you can see there’s much more he isn’t telling you. You're tired of the conversation, of beating around the bush. You know what he isn’t saying, but you want to hear the words. Need to hear them.

“It was me wasn’t it? I killed them that night, didn't I ?”

He inhales through his nose and looks you dead in the eye.

“Yes.”

There it is. Out in the open. That simple one word answer, hanging there in the air, confirming what you have always feared. How could you ever blame him for leaving? He watched you murder his own parents, of course he left you.

“But it wasn’t your fault. You were so young.” he says, placing a hand on the back of your shoulder. “If he had stayed with us, taught you how to control yourself instead of abandoning us, leaving us….”

You put a hand up to stop him. “I don’t want to hear anymore.”

You shrug away from his hand and turn to face the ocean again. Lost. Because of me, everything was lost.

“It wasn’t your fault.” he says, practically reading the thoughts in your head.

“I knew what could happen to you, if others found out. I couldn’t protect you, so I did the only thing I knew how. I hid you away, where I hoped they’d never find you. I knew we had to part ways if I was to keep you hidden, but trust me when I say that walking away wasn’t easy.”

You close your eyes, mind a flood of fog and chaos. You didn’t want to hear about it anymore.

“I think I need to sit down. “ you say, rubbing your temples.

“I know you felt alone, but I was always watching you from afar. Always checking in on you.” he says, gently placing his hand on top of yours.

“Then you know your life would be in danger if I were to stay with you, you wouldn’t be safe around me.” you add, pulling it away.

“My life is hardly what I would call safe. Stay with me. There is much I have learned about the Jedi over my travels. We can sift through it, together.”

Together. All you’ve ever wanted was to be wanted by someone. And now, here was a someone, willing to give up everything for you, despite the fact that you were a monster . You thought back to your childhood, the memories you both shared. Halo- he was the one who had looked after you when your father was nowhere to be found and your mother was at work. He taught you how to survive in the woods, how to hunt and fish. He was the one who taught you how to live in the wild and make a foxhole a home. The two of you would spend weeks at a time together, until your mother would demand you return. He was everything to you at that point.

“I need to think about it.”

“Because of him?” he said, indicating Mando with his chin.

The look on his face gives him away. He didn’t trust the Mandalorian.

“We’ve been through a lot, you wouldn’t understand.”

“And you say that he is taking you to the Jedi?”

“Yes.”

“And then what?”

“What do you mean, then what?”

“I mean, what happens then? He tracks them down and then just leaves you with them?”

I don’t know. Hadn’t let my mind go there.

“We haven't really….discussed that.”

It’s a conversation the both of you had been tip toeing around, but the answer had been in front of your face all along. Mando had been tasked with returning you to your kind. Nothing more. And what did you expect? For him to give up his life, put everything on hold and hang around while you trained with his sworn enemy? No. He was obligated to deliver you to them, nothing more. Like a package. Like…a bounty.

“ I know how to find them.”

Your face swings back to Vale’s.

“The Jedi?”

“Yes. If that’s what you want, we can go together, find the answers, together .”

You search his familiar eyes- the same ones you remember from so long ago, looking for the truth.

Maker, he really means it. You run the back of your hand across each cheek, wiping away the tears.

“We can leave tonight if you want. Just give me a few hours to arrange transportation, for me to cover our tracks.”

“You’re really serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“You’d leave your world of power and riches behind? The one you’ve spent years building?” you say, waving your wrist in a grandiose gesture.

“What? You’re not impressed by all this?” he chuckles. “None of that matters now. It’s just dirty paper, isn’t it?”

You smile, remembering how he’d always used to call it that. How when you were little and complaining that there wasn’t enough money to buy food, he’d say “it’s just dirty paper, we don’t need it. We’ll hunt for our own food.”

“Won’t you be missed?”

“Nah, in this world there’s always somebody hungry and waiting to take your place. I’ll set it up for Sin to take over, she already knows the business. You and I can just fade into the background.”

He’s making it sound so easy.

You swallow hard. “I still need to think about it.”

He leans forward placing his hands on your shoulders and gives you a little kiss on your forehead before stepping away.

“Until sunset then? If we are going to do this, I’ve got to set things in motion.”

You nod your head.

“Okay, Sunset.”

“I’ll meet you, right back here and you can tell me if this is the end of the line, or just the beginning.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.” he repeats.

DIN

Standing by, while she appears visibly upset, shaken, through her conversation with him is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. The second the sonic detector on my helmet goes out and I can no longer hear their conversation, I want to rush in. I start moving toward her, ready to put this whole ridiculous meeting to an end, but she gives me the all clear sign, halting me in my tracks.

I have to let her do this or she’ll never forgive me.

Now I have to rely on body language alone, so I watch her like a hawk while she discusses who knows what with the bearded asshole. Maker, it rankles that he has any sort of history with her at all.

Where has he been all this time? What does he know?

These are just some of the questions I have for him and depending on how this conversation goes with her, He and I might just be having a private conversation of our own, soon.

Though my eyes never leave her body, I use the scanner to search for heat signatures nearby. I’m surprised he would come alone, but after sending Sin Shikara away- whom I have now figured out is his second in command- I can detect no other bodies.

This planet is dismal and unsettling. She doesn’t belong here and the sooner we leave the better.

She’s upset. I can see it in the way she’s clenching her fists. It’s taking everything in me to ignore it, but I have to. I have to let it ride, for now.

For the hundredth time, I’m wondering who this guy really is and why she would believe anything he says. His name’s not Vale, that much I know for sure. I spent most of the night searching through every database I could access for that name, and there was no history of it before a few years ago. All that could be found were a few trace transactions. None of them revealed much, save for the fact that he had dealings with some very bad people. I searched for “Halo” too- the name she called out just before he wrapped his arms around her last night. Even less is known about that name- nothing in fact. The man is a ghost, or at least his real identity is.

Scratch that. She’s crying now. I can make out a line of tears running down her cheek. I figured that whatever news he’d have to share with her would be difficult for her to hear, but when I see the pain it’s causing her, manifest itself in tears, it tears up my gut. I now know enough about Vale or Halo or whoever the fuck he is to write out his deathstone.

Here lies Vale, A.K.A. Halo, A.K.A Dead piece of shit. Died on the 108th day of 9ABY, after making my stubborn girl cry.

They talk some more, until he reaches out for her, pulling her into a hug. My instinct roars to pull her away, he shouldn’t be the one to comfort her. It should be me. But she doesn’t pull away or fight it, so I talk myself down from the ledge. It’s just a hug, Din. I see people hug all the time.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity of him holding her, they seem to come to terms. He places a goodbye kiss on her head.

Enjoy it, asshole. It will be the last time.

She approaches me, her arms hugging herself, rubbing up and down in a gesture that says she’s either cold or uncomfortable. Probably both considering the circumstances.

I want to take her away, here and now. Get her off this planet. Cover her with blankets, keep her warm, sink into her sweet body and fuck away the past day’s events.

“ We need to talk.” she says as she approaches me. “But first, I think I need to lay down for a bit.”

Vale approaches next, coming to stand beside her, placing his hand back onto her shoulder.

“Tell you what, “ he says, looking between her and I, “Why don’t you head back to the ship and rest. I think I owe Mando here a little talk of our own. I’ll meet you back here later.”

Good, ‘cause I was thinking the same fucking thing.

She quirks her brow and looks to me for a reply. I’m surprised she doesn’t put up a protest, but I can see now that the conversation is weighing heavily on her and maybe she needs some time alone before she’s willing to talk to me.

“Why don’t you go ahead, I won’t be far behind.” I say, staring directly at him.

She looks back and forth between us, “Ok. Just don’t kill each other.” she says, turning toward the street.

Vale hails a cab, opening the door for her when the droid powered transport comes to a stop.

“Keyorin spaceport, hanger 61.” he directs the driver.

“Roger, hanger 61.” It repeats back.

I lean in close to her before closing the door. “Head straight to the Crest. Lock yourself in, I won’t be long.”

“Got it.” she says- and it worries me a little because I’ve never known her to agree to anything so easily. Where’s my stubborn girl?

I toss some credits to the driver and close the door, watching as the taxi heads away and toward the spaceport. When she’s safely out of the way, I turn to appraise the man before me. He casually walks back to the seaside railing and resumes his earlier position, elbows leaning on the fence- the only barricade between us and the iron ocean. He rubs his palms together, taking in the view.

“She seemed upset.” I say flatly.

“Rightfully so.” he responds.

“What did you say to her?”

“I only confirmed, what she already suspected.”

“Which is?” I say, losing patience with him and his nonchalant about everything attitude.

“That’s not really what I wanted to talk to you about, Mando.”

“Alright. What is it that you want to talk about?”

“I need to ask you a favor.”

A favor? What could he possibly want from me?

“A favor?”

“Yes.”

“I’m listening.”

“She needs to make a decision. One that won’t be easy for her.” he starts.

“You need to let her make it on her own and when she does, whether it’s what you agree with or not, you need to support her on it one hundred percent, the way I plan to.”

“And what decision is that?”

He turns to face me, coming to stand at his full height- eye to eye with me.

“At the end of the day, she’s going to decide whether she’s getting back on that ship with you…or if she’s staying here with me.”

“We have an agreement, we have a set path. Why would she stay here with you?” I ask- the possibility of it, sounding ridiculous.

“Because I can save her from something you can’t, and she knows that.”

What bullshit is he speaking now?

“I’ve sworn to protect her, I’d give my life for hers, she knows that.”

“But you can’t save her from heartbreak, can you Mandalorian?”

There’s a moment, where I swear, he can see straight through my visor and read the expression on my face. It’s not what I was expecting him to say, but I’m not sure how to respond.

“She loves you. You do know that don’t you?”

I remain silent, try to steady my breathing. What's between her and I, is none of his fucking business.

“What does any of that have to do with you?”

“There’s a lot about her that you don’t understand.”

“I know her, better than you think.”

“I’m not talking about her powers.”

He knows she has powers. That fact alone makes him even more dangerous.

Vale steps away to take a seat on a nearby bench, casually throwing his arms back, to lean against the backrest. It’s a gesture meant to put me at ease, because his hands remain out in the open, but I’ve already accounted for the other dozen weapons hidden on his person. I remain standing, ready to end this once and for all if I need to.

“Who are you to her? What makes you think you know her so well?”

He smiles, a smug little smirk that makes me want to punch it right off of his face.

“She’s a born runner. Been running all her life. She’d disappear for days at a time, until our mother would send me out looking for her. I’d eventually find her, curled up in a dirt hole somewhere, living off berries and dandelions somewhere. That’s why I call her Bunny. She’s skittish- Quick to run at the first sign of trouble, or in her case, heartache.”

Mother. Our Mother, he had said.

“ You’re her…?”

“Big brother.” he smiles.

Brother. My head storms through the calculations. All this time, she had never mentioned a brother. I think back to the previous night, the way they had recognized each other, the embrace. The dancing. The fucking dancing that had fired my temper. None of it read sexually. Even last night, when I had been out of my head with envy, what was it that she had said? “You seem… a little jealous, Mando? You have no reason to be.”

“Brother? Then where the fuck have you been all this time?”

“I know it seems harsh to you, Mandalorian, to leave her behind. But I wasn’t a whole lot older than she was. I didn't know how to look after a little girl that was capable of the things I saw her do. I couldn’t protect her, so I did the only thing I knew how. I hid her away.”

“From them ? So, you knew they’d come for her?”

“Eventually, yes. I have been watching her from afar for years. She didn’t know, but I was always checking up on her. I had hoped to go back for her when the time was right. Unfortunately, you got to her first.” It was the way he said, “ you” .

“I am not a threat to her. Not anymore.”

“Bull-shit, Mandalorian!” he says, raising his voice. He gets up from the bench and faces me once again, this time getting up into my personal space.

“She can’t take it, not again. Our father, our mother, me….the boy at the orphanage, every friend she’s ever made. All that she could take. But I’m telling you, right now Mando. If you leave her, drop her off on some Jedi’s doorstep….you will break her… for good.”

“And what about you? You won’t leave her again? You know she’s not safe here, how can you possibly expect to keep her safe, with the type of people you deal with?”

“I already told her, I’ll leave it all behind. I’ll go with her- tonight if that’s what she wants. I’ll take her to the Jedi too.”

“You know how to find the Jedi?”

“Yes, I know how to find them.”

“How? How do you know this?” I demand.

“Because Mandalorian, she is one of them, like our father before her, was.”

Their Father. I don’t know if these powers of hers are something that are passed down genetically or not? I know nothing….but he does.

“After all this time…how do I know she can trust you?”

“I don’t know, Mandalorian. How is it that you gained her trust after turning her in?”

His words cut deep, because right now, at this moment, I can’t recall why she does.

“She’s stronger than you think.”

Vale pauses, a noticeable tick in his jaw giving him away.

“Do you know of Bestine, Mando?”

“I know that’s where she…where you both grew up.”

“Bestine is almost entirely covered in water. Not like the manufactured sea you see over my shoulder, but pristine waters of the bluest blue. There are no beaches, where we were. Our landmass' were large rock spires, covered in forest, jutting a thousand meters out of the water, cliffs on all sides. To stay connected to the nearest islands, we had bridges….and tunnels that ran under the water.”

Vale begins pacing back and forth as he continues telling his story. Curiosity over where this is going and that it might lead to any insight on him or her , keeps me listening.

“We had to make a run for our lives. There were no boats and I knew the bridges and tunnels were all under watch. That is, except for the Bankshaw tunnel. It had been abandoned since before I was born, the infrastructure was collapsing. It was no longer deemed safe for travel. It was the only way to get her off island without being seen. The first night, we waded through ankle deep waters. The second night, the torch gave out and we were left in complete darkness. I had to make a decision then- to turn back or keep moving forward. Even though we couldn’t see shit, I thought if we just kept going in the same direction, we’d eventually get to the end. On the third night, the water was chest high. Every crash of the water on the other side of the wall sounded like a death sentence. The ocean was eroding everything, taking back it’s territory one wave at a time. What I thought would take us a few hours ended up taking four days. By the time we reached the end, she was completely passed out. I carried her out and took her straight to the orphanage. But, you’d never believe that all that time down there, in the dark…she never cried once. She was brave…did everything I asked her too. I know how strong she is Mando.”

He stops pacing and faces me once more.

“All I ask, is that you let her decide on her own.” he says.

I remain silent. I turn to walk away, to consider everything I have just heard. I need to get back to her , make sure she’s ok, see where her head is at. I’m about to ignite the jetpack, when Vale calls out once more, just before I take flight.

“Oh, and Mando?”

Back still facing him, I give him the courtesy of a half head turn over my shoulder.

“You ever fuck my sister in public again, and I’ll kill you.”

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A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who is still following this story, I know it was a long wait for this one, but ya know, life happens. As always, hearts/likes, reblogs and comments are always much appreciated.

Faithful readers: @mandosmistress @eyeswidecovered @michi-reads @cassiopeia @littlemisspascal @wildmoonflower

@thisshipwillsail316 @hillelsandwich @spideysimpossiblegirl

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@icanbeyourjedi @middlemichi @yeetusfetus3000

#mandalorian fanfic #in the dark #din djarin fan fic #mandalorian x reader insert #din djarin x you #enemiestolovers #adventure and romance

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