#sorry about the self-indulgent ending delusions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

voraciousvore · 10 months

Text

The Half-Blood Giant (15/51)

Chapter 15: Interview

Ray only had to traverse a few blocks to reach the school. As he lumbered along, he made conversation with Pedro. “I’m so sorry about kicking you with my shoe. I should’ve been paying better attention,” Ray admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s okay,” Pedro replied softly. As he continued to recline in Ray’s hand, gazing up at the handsome giant, he thought to himself it was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to him.

“Why are you going to the school anyways? You said you have an interview?”

“Yeah. A job interview, with the principal of the school. They’re seeking to hire a human counselor.”

“Oh, so with Mr. Henderson?”

“Yeah!” Pedro responded with surprise. “You know him?”

“Yes,” Ray confirmed. “He’s a very nice man. To be honest, I’m surprised he didn’t offer to meet you at the wall. He’s typically considerate of other’s needs.”

“Oh, he did,” Pedro confessed sheepishly, fiddling with his hands. “I turned him down. I thought... I’d be showing weakness if I accepted. I thought I could make it myself. Boy, was I wrong.”

Ray couldn’t help but chuckle, sending a bass rumble through Pedro’s body that made him swoon. “You’re a brave little thing, aren’t you? I bet you’ve probably never seen a giant for real until now, huh?”

Pedro chortled. “You got me. If I had known just how BIG everything was, I might have taken a different approach. But hey—I got to meet you! So, I’m glad things worked out like they did.” He beamed idiotically, completely lovestruck. He couldn’t stop himself. Cupid’s arrow had shot through the mushy beating core of his heart.

Pedro’s obvious infatuation didn’t escape Ray. He wasn’t sure what to think. He tilted his head slightly, examining the human in his hand. He was cute. Ray had a strange urge to pet him with his finger like a tiny animal, but he restrained himself. The man was so small, that perhaps he was misinterpreting the signals. Ray couldn’t see any reason why a little human would be interested in him, of all people. Sure, he knew a few giant and human couples, like Joey and Eren, but they were an anomaly. It wasn’t a normal reaction to be smitten, especially since this was Pedro’s first time meeting a giant. He was probably just very nervous and embarrassed, which would explain his odd mannerisms.

Ray dismissed his earlier observations as hopeful fantasy. For some reason, he felt a mild disappointment, but he let it go. Now was not the time to entertain self-indulgent delusions. “Here we are,” he remarked to redirect his thoughts, pushing open the big iron gate to the school grounds. Pedro sat up in his hands and surveyed the area with undisguised awe. Ray watched him with an amused smirk. He headed toward Milton’s office. Since class was in session, the hallways were empty. Pedro peeked into the classrooms as Ray passed by, but from his vantage point he couldn’t see the human desks. He could only see giant students, easily large enough to grab him up in their hands. Anxiety wormed its way into his psyche. Would he be able to handle working here?

The door to Milton’s office was closed, so Ray knocked. “Uh, come in!” Milton called. Ray stepped inside and changed colors, blanching and reddening in a mess of emotions. Sitting across from the principal was Chester, along with Jackie, the unfortunate human who had ended up inside his stomach earlier that day. Ray was abruptly overcome with nausea and humiliation. He hastily entered the room and dropped off Pedro on the desk. He hated to leave so brusquely, but he couldn’t stand the pressure. He knew Milton would take good care of Pedro, so he didn’t need to worry about him. “See ya,” he mumbled to excuse himself as he rushed out the door, sweating hard.

“Wait, Ray!” Milton called, but he was gone. “What was that all about?” Jackie and Chester exchanged knowing glances and giggled to each other. Now that Jackie was safe, they could find humor in the situation. Milton parted his lips, ready to ask for an explanation, when his eyes drifted downward to Pedro. The poor man was sitting on the gigantic desk, bewildered to be suddenly abandoned in front of two giants towering over him.

“Oh, you must be Pedro. I’m Principal Henderson,” Milton introduced himself genially, intertwining his hands on the surface of the desk. Pedro nodded dumbly, craning his neck back to look up into the giant’s compassionate face far above. He felt dizzy and overwhelmed at the height of the man, as if he were conversing with a tall, multi-storied building. Behind him, Chester leaned forward over the desk, inhaling the new human’s scent with interest. He imagined the human would taste sweet, like chocolate, judging by his fragrance. He salivated, licking his lips, and a drop of spittle landed on the surface of the desk, making Pedro flinch. Milton gave Chester a stern look and he backed off, grinning apologetically. He scooted his chair back and nibbled on Jackie with his lips instead, massaging her in his hand as she returned his affection.

Ignoring the display behind Pedro, Milton began the interview. “So, Pedro, do you think you’ll be able to handle working on the giant side of town? I know it’s not easy for a human. We’ve had this position available for a while, and I think you’re the first applicant who’s gotten this far without backing out.”

“Y-yes, I think so,” Pedro confirmed. He coughed, and tried to exude more confidence than he was feeling. “I can handle this. And I think I’m a good fit for the job. I have some experience working with children, in my previous position as a social worker. I have the skills necessary.”

“That’s great!” Milton replied with a comforting smile. “Basically, we just need a point of contact for the human students to go to, if they need help. Someone that can check in on each student periodically, make sure they are doing okay. Somebody they would feel comfortable talking to, who is... approachable.” He sighed, creating a big gust of wind. “I do my best, but... I am still a giant. I’m not always the most accessible to a new student when I’m the big guy on campus, both in a bureaucratic sense and when I’m literally hundreds of times their physical size. That’s where you come in.”

Pedro leapt to his feet and nodded, eyes fiery with passion. “I’ll be your man, sir!”

“Excellent!” Milton answered. “Now, in terms of accommodations... currently, we don’t provide housing for staff. I suppose if you want, you could stay in the boy's dormitory...”

“Ugh... I think I’ll pass on that,” Pedro said. “I can just... commute. I’ll figure something out.” He paled slightly, remembering his prior adventure on the way to the school. What was he getting himself into?

“Alright.” Milton scrutinized him with an intense look. “Will you be okay? Would you like me to at least take you back to the wall for today?”

“That would be appreciated, thanks.” The giant offered him his hand, easily bigger than his dining room table. Pedro gulped, hesitating. As much as he had fantasized about giants, being faced with one in real life was still very intimidating. His heart thumped hard against his ribs as he forced his body to move, climbing up into the colossal hand. He commended himself for being brave, even as his stomach lurched when the giant stood up.

“Chester, can I trust you not to eat anyone while I’m gone?” Milton questioned seriously. Pedro blanched.

“I’ll keep him in check,” Jackie assured him, nudging Chester in the chest with her elbow. Chester grinned mischievously. Milton shook his head with exasperation and walked out. Pedro remained silent for a while before he finally mustered up the courage to speak.

“Is that something I need to worry about?” he piped up timidly.

“Hm?” Milton had been lost in thought, worrying about having Chester at his house around Millie.

“Being... eaten?” Pedro clarified with a shudder.

“Oh no... that’s not too common around here. That giant I was speaking to is a bit of an exception. Most giants don’t eat people,” Milton explained. “Just... exercise caution when you’re around strangers.” He grimaced. Too many humans in his life had been menaced by cruel giants for him to forget such unpleasant matters. Pedro was unnerved by the implication that “most” giants didn’t eat people, not “all,” but he let it go for now. After all, there were humans living just fine on this side of the wall.

Traveling by giant was much faster for Pedro than walking on his tiny human legs, so they reached the wall swiftly. Milton released him to the ground next to the door. Even when crouching down, he towered over the smaller man. “Don’t be afraid to reach out to me for help,” Milton said. “If you need me to come pick you up to take you to your new job, I don’t mind. It’s not significantly out of the way for me.”

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” Pedro responded. “See you Monday then? Since today is Friday?”

“Yes, we’ll get you onboarded Monday,” Milton confirmed with a gentle smile. “See you then!” He stood back up, his head reaching the heavens. Pedro gaped with amazement as he stared upwards. The gargantuan man gave a friendly wave as he ambled off, quaking the ground with every step, until his lofty figure disappeared beyond the curve of the horizon. Pedro stood for a moment, taking in the scenery of the giant landscape. The scope of everything was mind-boggling, yet he was excited to embark on a new adventure. His dreams were coming true.

He retreated back to the human side, passing through the small door and the tunnel through the wall. As he left, he thought about the handsome giant cop who had helped him. Ray. Why had he left before Pedro even had a chance to ask him for his number? Pedro lamented his cruel fortune, to meet the giant only to have him vanish in a flash. He probably had no chance of ever seeing him again. Honestly, he probably had no chance with him romantically anyway. Pedro was likely chasing an impossible fantasy. Yet, Pedro was head over heels, and he wasn’t the type to give up easily. He would find a way.

Meanwhile, as Milton returned to the school, he pulled out his cellphone and called his girlfriend Millie. She answered right away. “Milton! Why are you calling now? Is everything alright?”

“Don’t worry, everything is fine, my love. Um... I’ve invited some guests over to stay the night, if that’s okay.”

There was a long silence from the other end of the line. “Who? Giants?” Millie sounded scared. She had made a lot of progress with warming up to friendly giants like Joey, but strangers still made her skittish. Milton mentally chastised himself. He should’ve checked with her before giving permission to Chester. However, imagining Chester staying out all night without supervision, with no place to stay or food to eat to suppress his appetite, filled him with just as much concern.

“Yes. A giant man named Chester, and his human wife Jackie. They’ve traveled a long way to meet me, for they wish to enroll their half-human son at my school. However, they have nowhere to sleep for the night, so I opened our home to them.”

“I see. O-okay. It sounds safe enough.” Millie was uncertain, but she trusted her giant boyfriend to protect her. Milton omitted the fact that Chester went to Maneaters Anonymous with him: He didn’t want to burden Millie with unnecessary details that would frighten her more. He would keep her safe, without a doubt.

“I’ll see you tonight, my little ray of sunshine,” Milton cooed, and hung up the phone. He returned to his office to find Chester still sitting in the same chair, obediently waiting for him.

“See, I didn’t eat anyone,” Chester announced proudly. “Even if the smell of all these humans is... irresistible...” He slopped his tongue across his lips, drooling profusely.

“Are all the giants like this, where you’re from?” Milton asked. Chester was always evasive when discussing his homeland, and Milton suspected he was hiding a secret, but he was considerate enough not to pry at the meetings. However, with Chester now in his personal office, and staying the night at his home, he felt it would be appropriate to ask more probing questions.

“Yup,” Chester proclaimed.

“Unfortunately,” Jackie sighed.

“That must make things difficult for you, Jackie,” Milton remarked, redirecting his attention to include her in the conversation.

“Yeah, though I have Chester here to shield me from harm. I am more worried about our son. I can always return to the human realm—erm, I mean, where the humans live. I can’t take our son with me, for he is far too large and will frighten others. So, his life among the giants has been very sheltered and isolated. It’s been causing quite a strain on all of us, lately, as he grows older and wants to spread his wings. I just want the best for him. I want him to be happy and have a bright future ahead of him.”

“I see.” Milton pondered her words. “We’ll do the best we can, to foster a nurturing and welcoming environment for him here. I promise you that.”

“Thank you,” Jackie replied. Just then, the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. The giant students, whooping and hollering, rushed out of their classrooms in a stampede, in anticipation for the weekend. The human students weren’t far behind, racing along the marked pathways on their bicycles. Chester watched the humans with an unfaltering predatory intensity that unsettled Milton. He sensed, under pressing circumstances, Chester could be a very dangerous giant to humans, even when he was trying so hard to be good. He hoped he wouldn’t regret bringing him around his precious little Millie. His anxiety was spiking as he considered what could go wrong. He wouldn’t be able to forgive Chester if he attempted to eat Millie. He’d kill Chester before he’d let that happen.

He waited for the halls to clear out before guiding his guests out of his office, locking the door behind him for the weekend. He led the way, keeping a close eye on Chester as the other giant followed. Chester was calm, caressing Jackie with his thumb as he walked. He seemed to be doing okay with his cravings. Milton decided he would prepare a hearty meat dish for Chester as soon as he got home. He’d keep Millie close. Everything would be fine; he was worrying over nothing. Right?

Chapter 16

Chapter 1

#the half-blood giant #g/t story #g/t writing #g/t fluff

1 note · View note

splattermouth · 1 year

Note

Actually, I've more questions: you mentioned that Volo and Val eventually got to collecting the plates— what exactly got the ball rolling with that? Was it related to the spooky plate, or was it something else?

And how did those two collecting the plates interfere with the overall mission of the kids that Arceus sent?

What exactly does Missingno do to a person that it possesses? Like, how does it affect the very essence of their being and then some? (This is kind of a self-indulgent question, you don't have to answer if you don't want to since I also have a Missingno oc and went into detail for that bc I love existentialism)

I think them trying to collect the plates was something they were always trying to do. (And by always, I mean once Val breaks down and admits to Volo he thinks Arceus sent him to Hisui. Volo might have already been plate hunting by this point, knowing they had Some ties to Arceus, but I don’t think he’d met Giratina just yet. Val falls months/maybe half a year before the rift opens up over Mount Coronet after all. Sorry the timeline for all these different events is still screwy and nebulous, I’m still piecing things together myself lol)

And I’m also not sure how much the kids interfere atm honestly! Rei and Akari, friends from another time, both take the role of the player character, but I don’t think Val would encounter them all that much to have a strong opinion on them. He thinks they’re normal sweet kids, not like they did anything wrong being sent here. Volo interacts with them the usual amount, nothing out of the ordinary.

Because of that, I don’t think the confrontation with Volo at Spear Pillar happens either, at least not traditionally. Like I think Rei and Akari are the ones to close the rift and calm Dialga/Palkia, but I don’t think any Volo postgame happens with them. I think that’s a Val and Volo thing. You could interpret that as Missingno’s presence altering the current timeline and throwing the plot into whack, and that’s a fun thought, but idk. I think it’s more just Val ends up having to deal with Volo’s delusions instead of the kids. Like atm, I think Rei and Akari’s presence is mostly fuel for Volo’s gradually degrading morals.

AND AAH I’ve actually just recently talked about what Missingno IS and how it works in relation to The Horror That Came to Hisui here!

But long story short, Missingno are either scrapped ‘content’ or mutations/aberrations that occur through spacetime distortions and tears. Dialga and Palkia generally clean up these holes in reality pretty quick, but not always quick enough to prevent anomalies from settling in.

Missingno thrive in corrupted environments. The young and fresh, carefully crafted world Arceus is currently watching over is built so there is no room and no way for It's old, unfinished, generally broken creations such as Missingno to thrive. But Arceus is not a Perfect god, and It has not built a Perfect world, and with a suitable host, a Missingno can get a foot in the door. The longer it stays with a host, the more powerful it gets, and the harder it is to dispel. Like how the longer you hold onto and use glitches and glitch pokemon in game, the more at risk you are for the whole experience to fall apart.

Anyway, Missingno doesn’t necessarily Possess a person (even though i technically say that a lot it doesnt it doesnt im sorry i misled you im pedantic), it more steadily Fuses with a person. The Missingno’s personality and ideals become one with the host’s, and in most cases, an entirely new ‘being’ is made. In Val and Missingno’s case: Jacred. Jacred is gleeful and fun-loving and unwittingly cruel, but also very much still loves Volo like Val loved him. And in knowing Volo’s desire to understand the universe around him and his place in it, Jacred will routinely show Volo things he did not at all ever want to know about the world he inhabits. It’s fun. Jacred really did say ‘know the unknowable, boy’ <3

Physically, Missingno naturally warps and distorts the body in odd ways. Smiles and eyes can seem too big, limbs and necks appear stretched, skin sometimes seems prehensile? Skin that shifts and ripples and ‘moves’ on its own. A host's movements sometimes come with afterimages. Colors and lighting on the host can appear unnatural, too bright or too dull. Physical contact with the host brings slight, but still sharp static sensations. Sometimes portions of the body seem to ‘bleed’ and blur together. All of these distortions happen randomly, and all for split seconds at a time. Blink and you miss it occurrences. Making those nearby wonder if any of what they saw was even real. If Missingno is corrupting the host or simply ones own vision.

And again, the longer Missingno remains in it’s host, the more it fuses with them- the more frequent and extreme the distortions become, the more it’s able to affect the environment around it and the people and pokemon that inhabit it.

I distinctly remember reading a comment on some video about pokemon glitches, and it described how when a glitch pokemon did enough damage to its opponent, the sprite of said opponent would look like it’d just been ‘shattered’, and i think abt that a Lot in relation to Jacred tbh. I will not elaborate on what that could possibly mean for Jacred OR for Volo.

#snap snips #valvolo #the horror that came to hisui #TY AGAIN thinking hard abt jacred a lot all the time

3 notes · View notes

whatifaltsdream · 2 years

Text

This is my self-insert oc. Their name is Murmur.

Their backstory ranges from entirely self-indulgent to more in-line with canon.

The Canon backstory: They were an orphan that later became a Khaenri’an alchemist. When Khaenri’ah was cursed, they became an abyss mage (geo). Sometime later, they mysteriously broke free from their curse and is wandering around Teyvet.

The Self-Indulgent backstory: They’re somewhat similar to Alice, since they came from another world and treat Teyvet somewhat precariously, having prior knowledge about some events. Murmur isn’t the only one of this caliber, extending to some other people too. When Khaenri’ah is destroyed by Celestia, many of these friends escaped and ended up reincarnating 500 years later, with Murmur as Ayato (With the others reincarnating as other vision wielders).

In either AU, they’re called the “Jack of All Trades”, able to do a lot of miscellaneous things, but never really had a specialty to call their own. I imagine them being friends with Rhinedottir, Alice, and the like, possibly helping to “teach” Albedo more mundane things.

They wield the Geo element. They don’t have a geo vision, instead something similar called an “elusion”, a vision knock-off similar to Snezhnaya’s delusions that aim to wield the power of the elements without the Gods’ will. It’s a lot more stable than a delusion, but ended up defying the Heavenly Principles.

They have a white-gold color palette, with brown hair, tan skin, and a gold-bronze color eyes (with or without diamonds? I’m not too sure...). I’m sorry I can’t show it, I’m not too adept (heh) at doing color palettes. I tried to make it so that their design is close to actual genshin models (no big flowing sleeves, no baggy pants below the knee, etc.) Their elusion is on their belt.

I’ll maybe post more about them.

#genshin #murmur #elusion au #ramblings #my art

1 note · View note

maybe-limerence · 2 years

Text

Darling types and their least compatible (and most dangerous) Yandere

✄ ❥ A N Y O N E-Bizarre-Seeking

Ok. Nope. No one would want their teeth or nails removed. Even the most f*cked up darlings don’t want that. Whoever simps for them is a liar and cannot be trusted. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Manipulative-Dependable

They. Would. Hate. Each. Other. Manipulative’s tactics wouldn’t work on Dependable, and Dependable would soon realize that Darling must be in control at all times to be happy, and with their nature? Yeah.. no. Pass. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Tired-Dependent

Darling, poor poor thing, is too tired to take care of their dependent yandere. Dependent would misread their Darling’s tiredness as hatred. That would end up with Tired more tired, and Dependent in a worse place. ‘Why do you hate me?!’ Dependent would cry. ‘I don’t hate you, I’m just tired’. Tired would sigh, having gone through this about 50 times. Just today. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Feisty-Protective

The fight in darling would NOT go well with yandere’s protective nature. ‘I’m just trying to protect you!’ the yandere would chant. Darling would merely glare, considering yandere has them tied up and gagged. Protective would not have Feisty’s spirt. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Innocent-Self/indulgent

The yandere would hurt their darling in a way even they regret. Innocent wouldn’t understand what’s happening and it would leave them hurt and not know why. If Darling understands what’s happening.. poor thing. Poor, poor thing. Yandere would notice. Their toy isn’t doing anything. They’ve become.. sad? They’re not eating, barely drinking, not taking care of themselves. They’ve become a shell of a being. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Docile-Lucid(?)

Darling’s docile nature would feed Lucid to becoming delusional. ‘Darling thinks this is ok? Really? Then I must be doing something right!’ Docile would eventually get scared (who wouldn’t? With how bad yandere’s delusions are getting anyone would be). Overall, not a good pairing.

A/N:

Woah, two posts in one day, crazy. THIS WAS NOT PROOFREAD (same with the other) I JUST DID (it in 30 minutes) THIS CAUSE I WAS BORED AND IT’S KINDA SLOPPY, SORRY.

#yandere types #yandere #darling #toxic

43 notes · View notes

kiiboslostahoge · 2 years

Text

Childe hcs bc I can

Hey guys, sorry for being inactive lately! I've been feeling kinda burned out with Genshin(Weird mental health situation and endgame stuff) but I'll try to be more active in the future. Anyways, hope you enjoy this self-indulgent shizz 🖤

Lee. Wears the mask of a tickle monster, but Lee. Capital L.

He's the kind of person to deny being ticklish. Even when squirming and laughing. Even when it's his own siblings.

Childe is this 'Perfect weapon' so nobody ever touches him making tickling kinda confusing for him bc he's super sensitive but also high-key touch starved Lee.

Additionally, the fact that he, this 'abyssal monster' has such a silly weakness and LIKES IT embarrasses him SO much. He loves hates teases for this exact reason.

He has wrecked everyone he's friends or closer with at some point in the past. Even Lumine. I do not take constructive criticism.

Scariest ler in existence, okay? He has an electro delusion and an agile build, he ain't even gonna bother with the death spots, but if he does...

RIP RANDOM LEE XXXX-XXXX

All fun and games for the incarnate of the tickle monster till he gets a taste of his own medicine

One time, a treasure hoarder ended up actually managing to take his bow by tickling his ribs(The poor treasure hoarder was dared to do this by their friends. They did not make it out alive oop-)

Everyone knows this, but he laughs like a little girl and the twins think it's hilarious. Aether never gets to hear it tho, Childe always wrecks him

One time, Childe's delusion strikes were getting too fast, so Lumine grabbed him by the shoulder blades. Childe giggled. The knowledge that her grip back then was weak enough to tickle someone haunts her to this day yet Childe's weakness provides her with all the billet drops and artifacts she wants

Then, there's the fatui

His subordinates don't tickle him that much bc they know what happened to that one treasure hoarder(Tbf, no one wants to be tickled by a complete stranger in the middle of the fight)

The harbingers and the Tsaritsa, on the other hand...

The goddess herself looks at him, the guy who mastered all weapons other than the bow at 14, and sees 'baby'

Most people can't be with him for 15 minutes without fearing for their lives, but to the harbingers(not signora), he's like a toddler with a simultaneously masochist and sadistic streak

Summary: Get rekt Childe

Scaramouche acts like a total tsundere towards him. The sixth gets rekt alllll the time, but sometimes he wrecks Childe back. Additionally, sometimes Scaramouche just wants to make someone suffer, but Pierro or the Tsaritsa warn him not to torture more recruits.

Screw it, I'm going full-on crazy. Sometimes Pulcinella, the fifth tickled him as a kinda punishment because 1. Childe thought that the pain would help improve his self-control and therefore wants to push his limits(Dont tell me you want a little kid telling about getting beaten up by Mitachurl while you're just following procedures) and 2. He sees Childe as a little brother and can't bring himself to hurt him ~Ehe~

Signora is in denial. She is desperately trying to convince herself he's just some monster from the abyss(So is Childe himself, honey. You ain't special) Said 'delusion' is not helped by Childe screeching like a girl because Scaramouche was feeling particularly angry. One day, she will poke him in the side, she just needs to work through the real hatred first.

Then there's Zhongli.

Where do I even start?

This man has DRAGON TONGUE, THE RASBERRIES HE CAN GIVE-

Chronological order, ig

Childe always teased Zhongli for being so uptight, and one day he just pokes Zhongli's side

Minimal reaction, but he's a harbinger, and most of all, Scaramouche's coworker. Gotta read between the lines

From then on, he starts wrecking our dear consultant. Gotta make the uptight man laugh somehow, amrita?

One day, Zhongli pokes him in the side not thinking he's actually gonna be ticklish. Childe was ticklish.

That day, the feared harbinger squealed like a little girl, brought down by the lightest touches.

Now, Zhpngli has two forms of vengeance

When Zhongli's feeling gentle(Most of the time) he just gently massages the hips of our dear harbinger. Enough to elicit those kinda asmr-ish giggles, yannow, those kinda held in ones? Those, and they are so cuute oml like bucket list-

Other time, massage the hips and give the ribs dragon-tongue raspberries. Childe's gotta have more lives than a cat, cuz hes died sooo many times 💕

In summary: Childe scawy ler, blushy lee. Tyy for coming to my ted talk.

#genshin impact tickling #lee!childe #ticklish!childe

38 notes · View notes

ophelia-writes · 3 years

Text

//INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS BELOW!!

a/n: ok so the scaramouche brainrot has been REAL, i’m so glad that i finally got to meet him in game (i joined after 1.1 sobs so i didn’t get to see him in unreconciled stars) but uh basically i’ve been thinking about him nonstop all week. he’s been in my dreams. he will not leave me alone. so i’ve decided to write more self indulgent fanfiction of him adjsjskhgfh enjoy <3

brave or stupid - scaramouche x gn!reader

warnings: slight violence, mentions of death

he had always been like this— callous, unfeeling, and cruel. after all, when you’re created as a toy that’s designed to be discarded, you’re bound to have a bit of bitterness.

but, to be honest, scaramouche wasn’t sure if he was even capable of kindness. sure, he could be polite to people from time to time if he wanted something from them, and he always showed respect towards the tsaritsa. but he would never show kindness for kindness’s sake. that just wasn’t his style.

besides, he wasn’t even human himself, so why should he care for human lives or emotions? they would be dead before he knew it, there was no point in trying to consider their feelings. he was a superior being, above the needs and trials of mortals. he should be able to do as he pleased.

so why, why did you intrigue him so much?

just a lowly, powerless human, with no vision or delusion, no special abilities to set you apart. and yet, you’d put your life on the line for just about anyone, despite not having the power or means to defend yourself, caring not for your own safety. what kind of idiot were you, exactly?

here you were, throwing yourself in front of the merchant scaramouche had been planning to fry for neglecting his debts. you were small, perhaps even smaller than him, with nothing but a stick in your hands. the sight was hardly threatening, and he would have killed you in an instant if it weren’t for the unwavering look of determination in your eyes. there was something different about you, he realized. something he rarely ever had the chance to see.

you weren’t afraid of him.

you, a weak, powerless mortal without even a sword to protect yourself, showed no fear in the presence of the sixth fatui harbinger himself. and scaramouche couldn’t decide if that made you incredibly brave, or incredibly moronic.

probably the latter.

rolling his eyes, scaramouche lowered his electro-infused hands and placed them firmly on his hips. “get lost, rat, before i kill you too,” he ordered, looking you straight in those big, determined eyes. but you refused to back down.

“do it, then,” you replied, gritting your teeth. you gripped the stick tighter in your hands and pulled your scarf down from your head, letting your hair flow freely. if you were going to die today, so be it, but you wouldn’t stand by and let this man terrorize your village.

scaramouche blinked. he had never seen someone with such a blatant disregard for their own life. in a way, you were like the opposite of himself— weak, kind, and selfless. looking at your small, bundled up form, gripping the stick like it was a mystical polearm forged by the gods, glaring daggers at him, he couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“hahaha! ahahahaha! god, i can’t tell if you’re bold or just stupid!” the harbinger took a step forward, the psychotic grin on his face never fading. but you stand your ground. “you know, i really don’t understand why you would risk your life for someone like this. i mean, you’re a pretty little thing,” he began, his violet eyes tracing over your features, “surely you must have more to live for?”

you frowned. “it’s not about me, it’s about the people i’m trying to protect,” you replied, casting a glance to the merchant and his family behind you. out of the corner of your eye, you could see him huddled against the wall, his small daughter gripping his arm while his wife held two other children to her chest. you weren’t about to let him kill these innocent people!

“why bother?” scaramouche asked, waving his hand dismissively. “they’re going to die anyways, it’s not like you can stop me.”

you bit your lip. he was right, of course— you had no vision, no sword. and even if you did… you would be nothing compared to a harbinger. but that wouldn’t stop you from trying. “i won’t leave them,” you finally replied.

scaramouche wasn’t laughing anymore. in fact, he himself wasn’t quite sure when his amusement turned into annoyance, but what he did know was that you were making him angry. “why…. why? this is a pointless waste of life, a worthless sacrifice— you know you can’t stop me, so WHY?” the air around him was now crackling with electro energy, and you could feel it.

still, you showed no fear.

“because, unlike you, i actually care about other people! i wouldn’t be able to live with myself if i just stood by and did nothing while those around me are struck down by the tsaritsa’s stupid lapdogs!” you were shouting now. you kind of had to, the electricity in the air making your ears ring and your head fill with static.

that was the last straw.

scaramouche let out an irritated growl, sending a wave of electric shock towards you with a sweeping motion of his hand. the impact threw you backwards, your petite form landing limply in the snow.

the harbinger looked down on you, heaving with rage. how had he let such a stupid mortal get him riled up like this? he should have just killed you when you had first gotten in his way. eyes narrowing, he crouched down and took your wrist to check your pulse.

then your knee collided with his face.

“agh, you—!” scaramouche raised his hand to his jaw, holding the spot where you had struck him. it was definitely going to leave a bruise, and scaramouche did not like looking weak. you quickly picked yourself up out of the snow, scrambling to your feet. you frantically looked around for your stick (not that it would do you much good), but it had flown far out of reach when scaramouche’s attack hit you. “how…. how dare you assault a harbinger?” he asked, his voice laced with anger.

you shrugged. “you assaulted me first.”

scaramouche’s eyes flashed bright violet, another surge of electro gathering in his hands. “alright, enough playing around. it’s time i finish you, for real this time.” your eyes settled on the sadistic smile that had formed on his pale face, likely the last face you would ever see.

still, you showed no fear. “go ahead,” you replied. “i’ll gladly die the hero who managed to kick a harbinger in the face.”

scaramouche narrowed his eyes. you were the most audacious mortal he had ever met.

you raised your head and looked the balladeer right in the face and said one last prayer to the archons. please protect this village when i’m gone.

and with that, a flash of purple filled your vision, casting a brilliant lilac glow over the snowy sneznayan terrain.

ahh! sorry for the cliffhanger/bleak ending but rest assured there will be more parts hehehe <3 hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!!

taglist: @kazuhasbiggestsimp @mrsugawara @xiaos-wife @xiaoslilpogchamp

if you want to be added to my scara taglist or specifically just the taglist for this fic, comment and i’ll make sure to add you <3

289 notes · View notes

obeyme-kaidii-writes · 4 years

Text

Belonging

Mammon x gn!MC

Words - 4606

Content warnings - lots of angst, insecure MC, Mammon is an ass at first ‘cause he’s a tsundere

Prompt/inspiration - self indulgent comfort piece

Summary - That one time when Mammon’s tsundere tendencies broke your heart.

AO3

You had been so stupid. So foolish. So naive.

When you first met Mammon, he took your breath away. You had never seen someone just so...beautiful. It was an honest to goodness love at first sight moment, something that you didn’t even believe possible until then. Yeah he seemed a little harsh, but you convinced yourself it was just because he was shy and easily embarrassed. As soon as he got to know you better, you were sure he’d calm down a bit and open up to you.

It was slow going though. Just when you had started thinking you had finally managed to become friends with him, something would happen that would send you back to square one again. For every step forward you took, you would inevitably take 3 steps back.

But after a while, things did eventually seem to be going your way. He’d come over for movie nights. You were allowed to hang out in his room. He no longer stuttered out excuses when he would walk you to and from RAD. You had started to feel comfortable. Like maybe everything in your shitty life up until now might have actually been worth it because finally, FINALLY you had someone who genuinely enjoyed being around you.

Until today, that is, when you were not-so-gently reminded of your place.

The night began like any other Friday evening - a movie night with Mammon, Beel, and Levi. Everyone had gathered in Mammon’s room, snacks were plentiful, and you were getting to sit next to Mammon. As the movie progressed, you casually adjusted your position so that you could hold his hand. But as soon as your palm touched his and he realized what you were doing, he pulled back and yelled at you.

“What the hell are ya doing?!”

If it wasn’t for the look on his face, you would have sworn he was embarrassed. Instead, there was no doubt in your mind just how disgusted he was at the idea of you touching him. You didn’t notice when the movie was paused. Or when the lights were turned on. All you could see were his eyes boring into yours. Looking like he wanted to vomit on the spot at the very idea of having ever been close to you.

“Umm...I...just…” you stumbled over your words, unsure what to say. What could you even say? He knew you had tried to hold his hand. And that’s all there was to it. You made a move, the wrong one, and he rejected you.

“Sorry...I’ll umm...just go…” was all you managed to finally get out, as you made a mad dash to your room. Your cheeks were burning with shame, and tears pricking at your eyes.

How could you have been so arrogant? Thinking someone could actually be interested in a person like you. This wasn’t your home. These weren’t your friends. They weren’t your family. You didn’t belong here. You didn’t belong anywhere. You had let yourself get comfortable, indulging your delusions and fantasies and ignoring all the many warning signs that you weren’t actually wanted here.

Even though Mammon was your official Guardian, the rest of the brothers still did their part to make sure you survived your year in one piece. And you had mistaken this courtesy as actual kindness. If anyone had been nice to you, it was out of obligation or pity. You were so desperate to believe you had finally found a place of your own that you let yourself be tricked into thinking demons would actually care about you.

You should have known better. It’s not like you hadn’t had this experience before. People who tolerated you and then at the first available opportunity cut you from their lives. You knew there was something wrong with you, there had to be, for as many times as this had happened. But since no one stuck around very long at all, you honestly had no idea what that might be. If someone would have just told you, you would have fixed it.

By the time you had made it to the safety of your room, your tears had already started to fall in large, heavy drops. You didn’t make a sound. You were too numb to even sob. You just laid down on your bed, facing the wall, and cried. If you could even call it crying. It was more like tears just poured from your eyes. You didn’t even know it was possible to cry that many tears, yet here you were - soaking your pillow, unable to stop the flow.

At some point, you had managed to get your breathing under control. And then, even your tears dried up. You turned to lay on your back, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out where you should go from here. You still had to make it through the rest of the year, and you had to find some way of doing that peacefully. Maybe if you talked to Lucifer he would assign you a different Guardian? You didn’t really want a different Guardian though, but you doubted you would be able to emotionally handle spending any more time with Mammon. Especially since every time you closed your eyes you could still see that look on his face.

After weighing your options you decided the only thing for you to do really was to put on a happy face. You’d be polite to anyone that talked to you, but you were going to be smart this time. You were going to keep your distance. Not just from Mammon, but from everyone else too.

There was no point in giving yourself the chance to believe you actually could make any friends here. Doubtless it would end up the same way. So you were going to do the minimum - go to RAD, come back to your room, and stay in your room until it was time to leave for RAD again, only leaving with the exception of meal times. No more movie nights, or gaming tournaments, or shopping trips, or restaurant tours. You were just going to keep to yourself and...survive.

————

Breakfast the following morning was oddly quiet. Beel, Mammon, and Levi kept exchanging looks, but you pretended you didn’t notice and just focused on your meal. You had found a comfortable sense of numbness since the previous night, and had now more or less come to terms with the fact you weren’t wanted here and had gotten carried away.

Lucifer had needed to head out a bit earlier to attend a before school meeting with Lord Diavolo, so you asked if you could walk with him instead. He raised an eyebrow at your unexpected request, but thankfully didn’t ask any additional questions. Of all the brothers he was actually the one you were most comfortable with at the moment. Probably because you never had any doubts about the fact he wasn’t overly fond of you.

When classes had ended for the day, you realized that you would need to walk home with Mammon. But after a full day of perfecting your “nice” smile, and mastering how to behave “politely” without taking things personally, you felt better prepared to handle it than you had that morning. Mammon seemed nervous, blushing and fidgeting most of the way. Any other day, you would have asked him what was wrong, but now you were committed to keeping your distance so you ignored him.

Once you arrived back at the House of Lamentation, however, he finally started talking to you before you had a chance to hide away in your room again.

“Uhh...about last night...I…”

“It’s fine, Mammon,” you said, smiling your best, bright smile, “I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“That’s...I was jus’ surprised is all…”

“Then I’m sorry for surprising you.”

“So umm...do you wanna...try again...maybe…?”

For the briefest moment, your smile faltered. You were quick to correct it, but of course Mammon noticed that split second of hesitation before you answered.

“No thank you. It was nice of you to offer though. But I don’t think I’ll be going to movie night anymore, so you really don’t have to worry about me.”

“Huh? That’s not what I was...this wasn’t about the movie…!”

You gave Mammon another perfect, reassuring smile before leaving him in the entryway, flustered beyond belief at what just happened. He could understand that you might not have known what he was asking right away, but to say you didn’t want to go to movie night at all? That seemed like a bit of an overreaction. Not to mention the fact that the entire conversation just seemed...weird. You were smiling too much for one thing, and he really didn’t like it. He enjoyed making you smile, but this just wasn’t right.

And he couldn’t just let that go.

No sooner had you sat down at the table in your room to begin on your assignments, than the door was flung open as Mammon barged in. You stared at him, stunned, unable to grasp why he had followed you to your room. When he saw you looking at him, he once again got flustered, but was quick to recover this time - he was on a mission.

“Look I know I yelled at ya and all, but that ain’t a reason to skip movie night. Who's gonna feed Beel? Or make sure Levi doesn’t put on those weird anime movies with the tentacles and shit?”

“I’m sure you’ll manage. You had to have worked things out somehow before I arrived. You don’t need to try to include me,” you replied, turning your back to Mammon so you could focus on your work.

“Movie night was your idea! Ya can’t just quit!”

“I said it’s fine,” you could feel your frustration building in your chest. You had wanted to do this peacefully, but Mammon was so stubborn, more stubborn than you had anticipated given his reaction to you yesterday.

“It ain’t fine!”

“Leave it alone, Mammon,” you snapped, stopping what you were doing as you tried to calm yourself down again. You weren’t going to let him get to you. He’d wear himself out and lose interest eventually. You just needed to be patient until he realized he didn’t have to entertain you anymore.

“How can I leave it alone? I’ve said worse stuff to ya before and you haven’t acted like this.”

“I know when I’m not wanted. It’s fine.”

You weren’t about to open up and confide in him all your worries and fears. Even if he was asking out of politeness, you knew he wouldn’t really want to hear about that stuff anyways. He barely tolerated your physical presence, there wasn’t any way he’d want to be burdened with your emotional baggage too.

Mammon was silent for a while after that. He didn’t know what to say, or how to explain. He knew he had fucked up. Badly. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you next to him. He did. More than he’d care to admit. Which was actually part of the problem. He didn’t want to admit he cared. Because admitting he cared would mean you could reject him. If you weren’t aware of his feelings, then you would just be stuck with him, and that was good enough for him. It had to be.

At least it had been up until now. Now, Mammon feared if he didn’t say something, anything, he’d lose any chance at ever talking to you again.

“...I wanted ya there…” he finally whispered, so quietly you almost didn’t hear it.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yeah I do!” he said, much louder than he had spoken before. Couldn’t you tell he was trying to say that he liked you? That he enjoyed your company? Did you really have to argue with him about it?

“...whatever,” you said with a sigh as you began to open your school books.

“Hey! Listen to me will ya!? I’m trying to say I like you!”

You flinched at Mammon’s sudden declaration.

“And you expect me to believe that?” you replied, your tone laced with venom. You knew what was coming next - his inevitable backpedaling that he always did. Where he made excuses and belittled you and made sure to crush any hope you may have had that he actually liked you in any capacity because the idea of anyone thinking he actually had a soft spot for you was apparently absolutely appalling.

“Why wouldn’t you?! You should feel honored and…!”

“Why wouldn’t I?? Seriously?? You’re asking me that?”

You turned in your seat to glare at Mammon, angry tears gathering at the corners of your eyes. Did he seriously think so little of you that he just expected you to believe whatever you told him?

“I dunno Mammon, maybe it’s because ever since I got here you made a point to remind me what a burden I am and how much trouble I cause. Maybe it’s because you constantly dump me on your brothers to avoid your responsibilities. Maybe it’s because every time I try to be nice to you, you push me away and make me feel stupid for even trying. But hey, what do I know? I’m just the dumb human, right?”

By now your tears had started to fall, but you couldn’t even be bothered to dry them. You finally had the chance to get everything off your chest that had been building since you were dragged down to the Devildom and you didn’t feel like stopping anytime soon. Your rational thoughts had long since flown, and all that was left was your extremely hurt, angry, emotional self that was bound and determined to make sure Mammon knew just how much pain he had caused you.

Mammon, for his part, was completely dumbfounded. Personally, he thought he had been doing alright trying to get to know you. He wasn’t used to people actually being nice to him for one thing, so he was always so suspicious whenever you were.

But what he hadn’t realized though, was how genuine all your advances had been, and how much he had hurt you in trying to protect himself.

“I-I-I…”

“I’m not the sort of person anyone likes. I know that. So whatever joke it is you’re trying to pull, just stop it already!”

“I ain’t messin’ around!”

“What are you not understanding here??” you yelled, slamming your hands down on your desk as you stood up to face Mammon, “I don’t connect with people. I’m never the one that gets picked. So just stop it ok?! I don’t know what Lucifer threatened you with…”

“He didn’t threaten me with anything!”

“Oh please, like you actually want to spend any time with me.”

“Of course I do! That’s what I’ve been tryin’ to tell ya!”

“...you don’t mean that. No one ever means that.” You crossed your arms, hugging yourself tightly, averting your gaze. Your anger had started to fade and all that was left was an overwhelming sense of sadness.

“Why do ya keep saying that?”

“Because it’s true. It’s just what happens. Whatever it is that lets people make friends, I don’t have it. I always think I do, but it never works out. So why would this time be any different? I just...I can’t do this again.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because I love you!” you shouted, having finally reached the end of your patience with Mammon’s endless questions. This wasn’t how you had wanted to tell him. But you didn’t know what else to say at this point because nothing else seemed to be getting through to him.

Cautiously, Mammon took a step forward. Then another. Until he was standing right in front of you. You kept your eyes trained on the ground, refusing to look up. You didn’t want to see the look on his face. Not after you had just confessed to him. It had been bad enough when he yelled at you for holding his hand, and you were sure seeing him now would kill you.

But, Mammon didn’t force the issue. Instead, he slowly reached out for your hands, carefully twining your fingers together as he lowered his head to rest it against yours.

“...do ya mean that?”

“Of course I do,” you mumbled, “But it doesn’t matter. It never matters. I’m not good at this stuff.” You rubbed your fingers over Mammon’s hands, playing with his rings as you tried to distract yourself from the conversation you were having. Your heart was hammering in your chest, and you were so nervous you couldn’t stand it. It almost didn’t seem real to you, to have him standing so close to you, willingly touching you. Perhaps that’s why you weren’t shying away from being honest about your feelings and why you were letting yourself touch him like you were. If it was all only a dream, it didn’t matter anyways.

“It matters to me...I like ya too. A whole lot. And...I’m sorry for makin’ ya feel anything different. It’s just…” Mammon hesitated. This was the most honest he had been with another being in centuries, and his instincts to pull away and run were still strong. But you had been honest with him, and after all the hurt he caused you, it was probably the absolute least he could do.

“It’s just...I know how it feels. Ta not be wanted. And I uh...didn’t trust ya at first. I thought...you would be like my brothers and were just mocking me…”

That last sentence made your heart ache and you lifted your head slowly to look at Mammon. His eyes were closed now, but you could see the tears gathering at the corners and the dampness of his lashes. It was clear to you then that these were his true feelings, and not something he was sharing easily. Without a word, you released his hands, slipping your arms around his waist to pull him into a hug. He flinched at the sudden contact, but didn’t waste any time returning the gesture, wrapping his arms around you and hiding his face in your shoulder.

“I’d never do that,” you replied.

“Well yeah, I know that now.”

“I think you’re amazing, you know? I always have fun with you. And I like spending time with you. When you’re not acting like I’m the plague,” you teased, turning your head slightly to catch a glimpse of Mammon’s face and the faintest hint of a smile that tugged at his lips.

“S’rry. I think yer pretty amazing too. You put up with me an’ my brothers for starters.”

You laughed softly at his reply, feeling his arms tighten around you as he hugged you closer.

“Do you umm...wanna watch a movie…?” Mammon asked, hopeful that you’d take him up on the offer so he’d have a good reason for staying with you a little longer.

“Yeah, we can do that. I didn’t get to finish the movie from the other night.”

You pulled away from Mammon to grab your laptop from beside your bed, before climbing into it and making yourself comfortable. When you looked up, Mammon was still standing awkwardly in the middle of the floor, blushing furiously.

“Oh. Do you not want to sit here? Sorry! We can…” you started to ramble, terrified you had made him uncomfortable again and already messed up everything that you had just seemed to fix.

“No! It’s uh...not that...umm…” Mammon said, moving to sit on the edge of your bed, “Do you umm...wanna try...ya know...holding hands…?”

You blinked a few times as you processed Mammon’s request, staring at his outstretched hand that he was offering to you. Was this what he had been trying to ask you about after school…?

“I mean! It’s fine if ya don’t want to!”

“Wait!” you grabbed his hand quickly, before he had the opportunity to pull it back, “I’d like that. A lot,” you said, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment, “Can I ask you something?” Mammon nodded as he scooted back onto the bed so that he could sit next to you, “Is this umm, what you were trying to ask me about earlier? When we first got back?”

“Yeah,” now sitting comfortably beside you, he adjusted his grip on your hand, lacing your fingers together and allowing you to snuggle up next to him and rest your head on his shoulder. He was nervous at having you so close, but at the same time, he didn’t think he had ever felt more relaxed. There was a certain comfort in knowing that you felt the same way towards him and weren’t going to chase him off for wanting to be near you. He still had a long way to go in the “open and honest” department, but at least with you he didn’t have to hide his feelings any longer.

As the movie played, Mammon found himself struggling to concentrate. You had said a lot of things earlier when you had been so upset that he hadn’t been sure what you meant, or how he was supposed to respond. One thought in particular kept echoing in his mind that he really felt like he needed to address - that you didn’t feel wanted.

“Hey, do you umm, think we could talk?” he finally asked. You paused the movie and closed your laptop, nervous to hear what he had to say.

“Sure,” you replied meekly and Mammon gave your hand what he hoped would be a reassuring squeeze.

“I guess I just want to make sure you know that I want ya around. I know I can be a bit of an idiot at times and don’t always think things through...but that’s how I feel. And I know my brothers feel the same too.”

“Thank you. For telling me.” You could feel your throat tightening and you knew you were probably close to tears again, as if you hadn’t already cried enough today.

“And I’m gonna prove it to ya, you know? The Great Mammon’s gonna show ya just how special you are.”

A small smile spread across your face as you snuggled closer to Mammon. He nudged you gently with his elbow, which only made your smile broaden, and you nudged him in return, causing him to laugh. It didn’t take long for a full on tickle fight to erupt, which only stopped when Mammon had managed to successfully pin you to the mattress. Realizing the position he was in made Mammon’s face flush, but he didn’t move, and you simply looped your arms around his neck holding him in place with a hug. He carefully lowered his body so he could wrap you up in a hug of his own, as you buried your face into the crook of his neck.

You had been so certain earlier that you’d never get a chance to have a moment like this with him. And part of you feared if you were to let him go, he’d leave for good. But no matter how tightly you held him, Mammon held you just as tight. He too had been waiting for this for a long time and wasn’t about to let you go any sooner than necessary.

—————

The following morning, Mammon was already gone by the time you woke up. The realization stung, but you tried to focus on the positives and pushed those thoughts aside, determined not to let yourself jump to the worst case scenario before you had even eaten your breakfast. You quickly got yourself ready, and made your way downstairs, taking your usual seat at the table. Mammon had yet to make an appearance, so you focused on your food, anxiously waiting for him to join you.

When you heard the dining room doors open, you quickly snapped your head up, smiling as Mammon made his way into the room. He locked eyes with you, grinning, but as soon as he noticed that his brothers were also watching him, he averted his gaze and your heart shattered.

Of course, you thought, how could you have forgotten? Just because he admitted to liking you in private didn’t actually mean he would treat you any differently. The thought made your stomach churn, and you had to fight the urge to dash from the room, choosing instead to return your attention to the food on your plate. This was going to be so much worse now that you knew he was aware of your feelings, you thought, blinking back tears.

Shit.

Mammon had reflexively looked away from you for the briefest of moments when he had become aware of his brothers staring. But almost immediately he had stopped himself and looked back at you to offer you a smile. It hadn’t been quick enough though, and he only caught sight of your face as it fell and you attempted to hide your disappointment. He really hadn’t meant to hurt you. Especially not so soon after the two of you had finally opened up to each other.

And now what was he supposed to do?

Well, there really was only one thing he could think of - Make ‘em jealous.

Taking a deep breath, Mammon walked to his seat, nudging his chair over until it was right next to yours, before finally sitting down. You looked up at him, stunned and confused, and he flashed you his usual cocky grin, which only made your heart leap in your throat. Just what was going on? you wondered.

“Ooo Mammon, you’re sitting awfully close today,” Asmodeus teased.

“What’s it to ya, Asmo? Ya jealous?” Mammon, quipped back as he started serving himself some breakfast. He could feel you staring as you struggled to wrap your head around what was happening, and he smirked, shooting you a sideways glance.

“It’s just not fair that you keep hogging them all to yourself. The rest of us should get a chance to sit next to them too.”

“Enough. It’s too early in the morning for this sort of nonsense,” said Lucifer, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You know, dear brother, you’re going to get horrible wrinkles if you don’t get more rest,” replied Asmo, shifting his attention to Lucifer.

Mammon turned to look at you, not at all surprised to see that you were still staring at him in shock. He looked down at your lap, and you followed his gaze as he opened his right hand, palm up, and offered it to you. You stared at it for a few moments, before finally sliding your hand into his. You looked up at him again, only to find that his cheeks were now a very deep shade of red, one that spread all the way to the tips of his ears. He was clearly not prepared for how...different...it was going to feel to hold your hand when surrounded by his brothers, and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

He was quick to turn his attention to his breakfast, and you did the same, occasionally sneaking glances at Mammon as you ate. Mammon could feel your eyes on him, and while mildly embarrassing, also made him ridiculously happy. Up until yesterday he had been so afraid of making a move in your direction, he hadn’t even stopped to think of the possibility of you actually accepting him. And now that he was holding your hand, he was determined to never let it go.

#gn!mc #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #mammon x mc #obey me fanfic #obey me comfort #obey me angst #mammon fanfic #mammon angst #mammon comfort

687 notes · View notes

caffeineghostie · 3 years

Text

𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: angst/comfort, talk of failed exams, reader has anxiety

Summary: Reader gets discouraged after failing an exam. Luckily Bucky is there to pick up the pieces.

A/N: this is purely self indulgent and (unfortunately) based on a true story. I wish I had Bucky to cheer me up like this :)

I'm on mobile so formatting is shitty af, but I'm gonna get it fixed tomorrow after my exam!

Enjoy!

Taglist

Masterlist

ding!

You opened your eyes, rolling on one side to check your phone, the latest notification informing you that the results of your last exam had just been published.

Oh shit.

Not wanting to wake your boyfriend up, you get out of bed, directed to the kitchen, taking a blanket with you.

The light coming from your laptop is the only source of brightness in the room, as you type your password in, logging into your account and you click on the results file.

A long list of codes greets you, each with their respective marks, and you look for yours, your heart thumping in your chest.

"Where is it?" you wonder, frantically repeating your ID number in mind, eyes checking the list over and over again, hoping to see the familiar number.

Then you realize. It's not there. You failed the exam.

Again.

You feel lightheaded, and your ears start ringing. This was an important exam, and you had already taken it multiple times, failing Every. Single. Time. Normally you'd have three tries per year, but this was the last one, and now you failed at your last chance.

Delusion washes over you, a heavy boulder sitting on your chest. Tears start pricking your eyes, threatening to spill on your face. Your sweat turns cold, so you swaddle yourself more in your blanket.

Failing this exam means you won't be able to graduate this year, and then having to wait four months in order to try it again. Months in which you are completely helpless.

How could have this happened? You had studied for weeks in order to pass, staying up at night, memorizing French grammar and verb conjugations, and you were confident you finally made it. How could you have been so stupid? It was an easy subject, and most of your colleagues had passed it with no problems.

The tiny little voice in your head was shouting at you, telling you that you were dumb, and that you could never make it, and that you should leave your studies as soon as possible. There's no use in wasting money like this.

Your mind was racing, lost in these thoughts, and you didn't notice that Bucky had entered the room, and was behind you.

"Y/N?" he calls, turning the lights on. "Baby, what are you doing up?"

His voice startled you, and you try your best to dry the tears that were streaming down your face, but he was faster and was now standing in front of you. As soon as he sees your tears, he rushes over to you.

"Hey, hey, honey, what's going on?" worry fills his sleepy voice.

"I failed it" you croak out. "The exam. I f-failed." you start sobbing again, and Bucky is quick to hug you, engulfing you in his arms.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," he coos "I know this was important to you"

"It's just that…" you talk despite the lump in your throat "I was sure I'd pass it, and now I feel so stupid" you put particular emphasis on the last word, your voice cracking up.

"Baby, no, don't say that. Don't talk about you like this. You are one of the most intelligent people I know." he declares, placing one hand under your chin, making you look at him.

"I'm so, so proud of you. I'm proud of you because you tried. And you keep trying every day." his words make you tear up more. Guilt bubbles up in your chest.

"But I'm so tired of trying, Bucky!" you move away from his embrace, sniffling into the blanket.

"I have tried so much, and I can't take it anymore. I try and I keep failing every time. I feel like I don't deserve to be in a university because I am just wasting money it I can't get my degree. Everybody else is going on flawlessly, and I feel like I'm stuck." Your words echo in the kitchen, silence now enveloping both of you.

"Doll, I'm sorry that you feel like this. But you have to give yourself a break. You failed this exam. So what? You can try again next time. There's always a next time. And what if you graduate late? You're still going to get that degree. Comparing yourself to others is never good, because everyone struggles with different things. Trust me, I know," he smiles at you. "I say, keep trying, and in the end it's gonna be so worth it."

"You really think so?" you ask, hopeful.

"Yes, because I know you, I know how stubborn you are, and I know you're gonna make it. I'm so proud of you, honey." he repeats. Bucky approaches you again, putting one hand on your cheek and wiping a tear away with his thumb.

"If you need to take a break, you can take some time off. Your mental health is more important than any exam. And I can be your study buddy or whatever they're called. Either way, I'm going to be with you every step of the way."

"Do you seriously want to help me memorize the correct orthography of every single French word?" you giggle, raising your eyebrows.

"Sure, if that helps you then yes." he promises.

"Now, let's go back to bed, and we can plan out our attack plan tomorrow." Kissing you on your forehead, you both start making your way back to your bedroom.

Nothing can bring you down if you have Bucky on your side, nothing.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #anxiety #universities #university #college #spilled ink #marvel #marvel x reader #fluff #angst #comfort #hurt/comfort #bucky x reader fluff #bucky x reader hurt/comfort

180 notes · View notes

cosmicjoke · 3 years

Text

Ah, chapters 113 & 114 of AoT, and I’ve only got one thing to say.

Zeke, am I supposed to be feel sorry for the bitch? Well I DON’T.

No, seriously, fuck this guuuuuuuuy, I know I keep saying it again and again, but God damn, if these two chapters didn’t just solidify my hatred for the bastard.

First of all, he is just... the most whiny, delusional, self-pitying pathetic loser, just... he really is. I feel like a character in a Peanuts comic strip every time he opens his mouth. All I hear is “whaa, whaa, whaa”. And his delusions of grandeur would almost be funny if they weren’t so pathetic.

Here’s the thing, alright, and I’m sorry if I’m going to offend any Zeke fans with what I’m about to say, but too bad, I guess.

Everything out of this shitheads mouth is a lie. And just because he’s convinced himself of his own bullshit doesn’t make the lies coming out of his mouth any more true.

He turns Levi’s fellow soldiers into Titans. He does this without remorse. Don’t try to tell me Zeke felt bad about it. He didn’t. You know how I know he didn’t? Because in his private moments in the immediate aftermath, he mocks Levi over having done it, gloating about his supposed master plan of using Levi’s compassion against him and utilizing it to ensure Levi’s own demise. Zeke’s entire attitude here is sickeningly unbothered, unburdened, uncaring, and smug in the EXTREME. He mocks Levi’s compassion, literally makes fun of it and lambasts it as a pathetic sign of weakness when he says “I know you’re a caring leader. Your soldiers haven’t done anything wrong. They’ve just grown a little bigger. You wouldn’t, say, slice them to pieces over that, would you?”. This is Zeke making fun of the fact, finding AMUSEMENT in the fact that he’s just murdered 30 people who have never done a single thing to him, and reveling in what he thinks is a victory that will lead to Levi’s own death, reveling in having taken advantage of and weaponizing a better man’s kindness and compassion. Zeke is ENJOYING this moment. Just like he enjoyed killing all those soldiers in Shinganshina. And then, the kicker, and this is a particular point about Zeke that just makes me absolutely sick, he pretends to himself as if he didn’t want to do it. He PLAYS at his own regret, saying, “I didn’t want do this either,” and yet in the very next breath, continues to treat what he’s done with grotesque flippancy, saying “Still, how sad... There wasn’t even a battle or skirmish.” Gloating over how easily he’s bested Levi and his men, before going on to sink further into his insane delusions of grandeur, blaming their inability to trust one another on Levi’s inability to “understand”. I’m sorry, Zeke, but no. You didn’t even TRY to help Levi understand, too wrapped up in your own egotistical god-complex to consider it a possibility. ‘Oh, only I could possibly understand, along with Eren, the great task we two special beings have been burdened with. He makes assumptions about Levi’s life, about the kinds of things he’s seen and experienced, and convinces himself that they couldn’t be anything like what Zeke has (which, hilariously, is all wrong, since out of everyone, Levi knows better than anyone else in the SC what it’s like to be treated as a second class citizen). Zeke just assumes Levi couldn’t possibly ever grasp the complexities of the outside world, and so that’s why Zeke didn’t even bother trying to talk to him. Blah, blah, blah. No, Zeke, you didn’t share your stupid ass plan because you wanted to continue to feel special, like you’re the chosen one who gets to decide the fate of an entire race of people. The most hilarious part of this entire sequence is when Zeke is thinking Levi couldn’t ever understand the concept of all the world’s militaries bearing down on Paradis at once, and what that means, couldn’t grasp the urgency of the situation, as if ZEKE HIMSELF isn’t completely fucking responsible for that situation in the first place. Zeke literally engineered it. He created the problem, and now wants to position himself as the savior. He’s just such a loser man. The God damned definition.

And as if all of that wasn’t bad enough, when it turns out Zeke’s plan to take Levi out failed miserably, and Levi comes after his sorry ass like a bat out of hell, Zeke continues to mock Levi, to laugh at what Levi’s just had to do in order to survive and pursue Zeke. He says “Where’d your adorable little men go!? Don’t tell me you killed them all! The poor things!”. Are you fucking serious? Zeke’s behavior here is one of the most sickening things in the entire story, bar none. The way he laughs at Levi here for having to cut down 30 of his friends and comrades, the absolute display of sociopathic glee and disregard for the severe, horrific trauma he’s just caused this man, is honestly shocking. Man, I’m sorry, but anyone who sympathizes with Zeke over Levi after this display maybe needs to reevaluate their moral compass, because it’s damned broken. And just as an aside, Zeke’s cowardly fear of Levi is also pretty damned funny. He’s just such a bitch./

We go from this perverse display of psychopathic megalomania into Zeke’s backstory, and again, I’m sorry if I’m gonna offend any Zeke fans here, but to all of that, I ask, so effing what? Oh, boohoo, Zeke’s mommy and daddy didn’t shower him with praise or spend any time playing catch with him, and somehow, I guess, this is meant to excuse his attempts later in life to commit mass genocide. Poor, poor Zeke. Yes, his childhood was sad, he experienced neglect from his parents for two whole years, was used by them as a pawn for their idiotic plans, and ended up disappointing his father when it turned out he had no real talent. And again I ask, so what? This sort of experience isn’t exactly what one would call unique, or even extreme. There are countless children in the world who go through the exact same thing in various forms. Parents who put too much pressure on their kids to succeed, parents who try living vicariously through their children, parents who make their disappointment known and even punish their children for failing to live up to their expectations (something Zeke’s parents never did, by the way). The point is, this isn’t even what one would classify as extreme hardship. It’s a sad story of a child being neglected and not receiving enough love from his parents. This isn’t to undermine the very real pain one experiences from those things. Not at all. That pain is real and legitimate. But it’s also fairly common and pedestrian, as far as childhood trauma is concerned, and it doesn’t even remotely begin to justify the extreme lengths of megalomaniacal, sociopathic, genocidal tendencies he later displays. Also, Zeke also had his grandparents, who did love him and spent lots of time with him. He had Mr. Ksaver, who played with him and acted as a mentor to him. It wasn’t like Zeke had no one and grew up with zero connections. That’s BS.

Levi calls this bitch on his shit later in chapter 114, as Zeke’s muttering away in his delusions about how he’s “saving everyone”. He asks Zeke “That was your plan? Mercy killings?”. Levi’s asking Zeke here who the hell gave him the right to decide who lives and who dies? Who gave him the right to decide who’s life is WORTH living? When Levi says him getting to die by being eaten by a Titan is pretty merciful, considering he stole the lives of so many of his comrades, Zeke’s reply speaks volumes about just how warped and demented his thinking is, when he says “I stole nothing. I... saved them. Them and the children they would have... I saved them all... from this cruel world.”. He’s literally justifying murdering countless people by trying to redefine that murder as “saving” them. It’s not murder because it saved them from ever having to suffer again! He’s absolving himself here of his sins by casting his actions in not just a favorable light, but trying to sell them as heroic and admirable. He takes no, actual responsibility for what he’s done. He removes himself from that responsibility by pretending he was doing a good thing, an honorable, noble thing, by murdering a whole bunch of people who’d never done jack shit to him. Yippee for Zeke, I guess. He’s the very definition of an ego-maniac, of someone suffering from a messiah complex. He’s insane, and morally depraved. The very fact that he’s the one who comes up with the idea of eradicating the Eldian race by rendering them infertile is only further proof of this. What teenager comes up with a plan to exterminate an entire race of people and thinks it’s a good idea?

Right before he blows himself and Levi up, he screams “I’m hope you’re watching, Mr. Ksaver!”. He’s indulging in his own, fanciful notions of himself as the “chosen one”, as a unique person who alone is capable of delivering humanity to salvation. He’s showing off, asking Mr. Ksaver to watch him as he “saves the world”, because all he cares about, really, is making himself feel special, of fulfilling what he’s deluded himself into believing is his destiny, his right to decide the fate of the world.

And then he almost kills Levi in the process.

I swear, I wish Levi had just chopped his shitty head off right then and there. No one can blame Levi for chopping the bastards legs up like he did, for being so angry. It wasn’t just that Zeke had killed so many of his fellow soldiers by turning them into Titans, or tried to kill Levi by turning them into Titans, it’s also how Zeke laughed about it, and laughed at the pain he’d caused Levi, treating all of it as if it was worth nothing, and then having the unmitigated gall to cast himself as the hero bestowing his benevolent mercy on all. Give me a fucking break.

Fuck you Zeke. I hope you rot in hell, you dumb shit.

Also, fuck you to Floch too. I hate that bastard almost as much.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #Levi Ackerman #zeke yeager #snk 113 #snk 114 #meta #thoughts

73 notes · View notes

bogunicorn · 3 years

Text

Mmkay so I did all the achievements for Twelve Minutes and like ... it's a lot? Idk it's messy in places and I question why (spoiler) was what they wanted to do, but I have Thoughts.

Under a cut for length and spoilers.

I do think that the only genuinely "real" scene in the game is the exact office scene that gets you the Mindfulness achievement and prevents you from having a "Continue" or even a "New Game" option. He doesn't forget, but he does let go. I think all the other endings are definitely the Man under the effects of hypnosis administered by his Father. Even the Mindfulness version can have the Father saying he's sorry this is how the Man found out and lamenting the existence of the pregnancy, so I think that the brother and sister met, fell in love, and started sleeping together before the Father realized what was happening. The Father views his son as a monster who ruined his life, despite the whole scenario being his fault in the first place, so he comes at it from a place of, yeah, feeling sorry for his son, but mostly being protective of his daughter. If we accept that literally everything except the Mindfulness ending is an imagining of events under hypnosis, the Wife and the Cop are best read as reflections of the Man. Everything they say comes from his subconscious and is either to, from, or about himself. (e.g. during the Listen "ending", Wife asks if he would want to know if she had an affair and he says no -- that's the Man having a dialogue with himself. Should his father have kept his affair a secret from his step-mother? Should his father never have told him he and Wife were related? Should he keep it a secret now that he knows? Would everyone be happier? He certainly wants to think so, which is why that version ends without the cop ever appearing.) I've been trying to fit Bumblebee and her cancer into all this, and I think I figured it out: the Cop is an imaginary version of the Father, Bumblebee is a version of the sister or the child she's pregnant with or both. There's a lot of flowers = mother symbolism in the game. Bumblebees pollinate, and the Bumblebee character's cancer is, I think, the Man's subconscious acknowledgement of his sister's pregnancy as wrong. A child's cancer isn't their fault, just like having an incestuous pregnancy isn't really the brother and sister's faults, but it's still damaging no matter how you try to frame it. The "pocket watch" obviously keeps bringing the main character back to the study because it's the wall clock and it pulls him out of his delusion. If the Wife keeps it hidden, he doesn't have to return to reality. He's even incentivized to let her keep it hidden because she snaps at him for trying to get to it. The Cop wants to sell it to help treat his daughter's cancer and disappear without explaining to his daughter how he got the money -- just like how the Father wants to convince or even bully his son into shouldering the burden of the situation the Father put them all into without telling his daughter the truth about her relationship or his part in it. The reason that Mindfulness is the only "true" ending and that something like Alone isn't -- despite Alone ending with the main character leaving his relationship -- is that in Alone he doesn't actually move on, he just self-isolates. He imagines a life without Her as so bleak he has nothing else making up his life. The first hypnotism ending, Continue, resets the storyline, but just wipes away all the difficult revelations. Mindfulness is the only ending where he keeps his memories and chooses to stop indulging in fantasies where he gets to keep his relationship and discard the associated guilt, shame, and possible felony charges.

#12 minutes #twelve minutes #bog post #i wish i had the energy to make a video essay tbh #i like trippy dreamy time bullshit a lot as a narrative device #and i kind of like what this game had to say #about indulging in fantasies both selfish and self-hating #my dream essay about this game would be by folding ideas or curio

47 notes · View notes

clearlynotjanus · 3 years

Text

Loceit Appreciation Week: Day Four, Debate

READ ON AO3

Chapter Summary: Tired of the neglect he experiences at the hands of staunch Morality, when Janus is sent to the Dark Side, Logan attempts to follow some years later. CW: Food mention, Moceit fight Word Count: 3448 Genre: Gen, Hurt/comfort Rating: Gen Ships: Platonic Loceit

taglist: @sanderssidesangsttrash @catalinaacosta @whatishappeningrightnow @anxiousbean4404 @vexelore @the-dead-and-the-decaying @serpentinesomebody @poptartsaysurloved @robertdownerjr @dangitsbrightinhere @iamuncomffy @sanderdarksides @evertriedsoywithyourpopcorn @dragonfander @virgilstarantula @a-rudethude @indubitably-emo @gay-artist-626 @cosplayhanna @edupunkn00b @wouldntyou-liketoknow @awesomerandomgirl1 @rizzyluke @sevencrashing @all-panic-nodisco

To support my writing, consider subscribing to my Patreon or checking out my Ko-fi.

Though Logic and Self Preservation never had the chance to spend very much time together before the older boy’s disappearance, the conversations they did have were constructive, engaging, and supportive. Which was quite the opposite of what the others had to offer as the years dragged on. During the six that followed the unfortunate event, Logic found himself dismissed and belittled at every turn. Eight years old at the time, he didn’t exactly understand what had happened to his friend. It was confusing, and no one seemed willing to talk about it. The other Creativity mourned like Self Preservation was dead. Fear didn’t seem to notice. Morality cringed whenever Logic brought it up. He didn’t understand.

Time went on well enough then. Eight years old turned into nine, then ten, then eleven; then Fear morphed into Anxiety and the other Creativity disappeared. Even Logic could have called that one -- and he had. If only Morality listened to him and his advocating for the curly haired Creativity’s ideas. If only Fear had let him help more instead of jumping to improbable conclusions. All of it was a shame and it made Logic’s stomach hurt. He had liked that Creativity.

Eleven, twelve, and thirteen passed; then Anxiety disappeared as well, giving Logic a foreboding sense of loneliness. He didn't get along perfectly with Anxiety, but still. It felt like the Sides were dropping like flies. At this rate, Thomas would be more Dark than Light, Creativity said. Morality told them that was nonsense; as long as they three stayed good, Thomas would be fine. But Logic couldn’t help thinking this one was more his fault than the last. Perhaps if he had better communicated reality to Anxiety, things could’ve been different. Morality assured him it had nothing to do with anything like that; Anxiety just couldn’t be worked with. That didn’t sound right.

Through the beginning of his teenage years, the dismissal deepened. Too young, too inexperienced, too angry, too serious, too silly. No matter what Logic did, he couldn’t get through to them -- especially Morality, who seemed adamant that he had no idea what he was doing yet. The arguments ranged from petty to serious. No, Logic would say, Thomas can’t afford another Lego set, Morality, he has to save for textbooks next semester. No, Thomas shouldn’t have extra dessert just because he did his laundry today; he just had cake yesterday and God knows why. Irresponsibility began to overwhelm Thomas as he indulged in his Feelings more. He daydreamed a more fulfilling life, as he’d have himself convinced, through Creativity’s delusions. Logic was never considered. In fact, Logic was bad for insinuating everyone else was wrong.

At fourteen, Logic had had enough. One morning he woke up and decided he didn’t belong with the others -- with Creativity and Morality. He belonged with Self Preservation and the other Creativity. The one that he liked and the older boy who had always listened to him. The thought of enduring another day of disagreements and neglect dried his throat, so as the sun rose, he sunk out.

The Dark Side was, well, dark. Logic didn’t know what he expected but couldn’t find it in him to be surprised. He went to turn on the living room light but curiously found the switch already flipped, the bulb already illuminated. He went to open the blinds and found them already drawn. Rather than foreboding, as Self Preservation found it upon his initial arrival all those years ago, Logic found it fascinating. Not fascinating enough to keep his stomach growling though. Were the others already awake? Did they not have breakfast over here? Perhaps he was just early.

Unceremoniously, Logic grabbed himself a bowl, a box of cereal, and milk from the fridge to construct his breakfast -- a task Morality had always insisted he do for Logic until recently, when he spitefully went a full month of refusing to eat anything Morality made him. He was old enough to make his own breakfasts and lunches, thank you very much.

“You’re up early,” A voice followed the sound of footsteps down the stairs. “Are you making breakfast for once, Vir--” Janus’ words and feet came to an abrupt end when he reached the bottom landing and his eyes rested on Logan; the teen was small but bigger than Janus remembered, bigger than he was the last time they had spoken for sure. He did the mental math quickly -- it’d been six years since he left the Light Side, Logan had been about eight at the time and had always been six years Janus’ junior; so the boy was fourteen. Logan’s back was ramrod straight at their table as he mindlessly sucked Cheerios off a spoon. Across the room, the television droned the news, but Janus was unable to hear it due to the ringing that pierced his ears.

“Good morning, Self Preservation,” Logan greeted after he swallowed, as casually as anything despite his stare that lasted a second too long. He noted the shine on one half of Janus’ face; the way one pupil had slit and changed colors. Fascinating -- but was he okay? He seemed okay at least.

“Self Preservation?” Janus said with a mask of amused absurdity. “When I left I was Prezzi.” The conversation was good, distracting enough to quell his panic as he glanced up the stairs again. Logic’s room hadn’t appeared -- or perhaps he had missed it?

“Sorry, I didn’t know if you still liked being called that,” Logan explained down at his cereal and Janus felt his heart breaking.

“Of course I do,” His brows knitted earnestly at the boy, a hand clutching his collar as though it choked him. Again he glanced up the stairs. “If you’re alright,” Janus took a step back, “For just a moment. I’ve forgotten something, I’ll--”

“My room isn’t here,” Logan’s voice edged with annoyance as he clinked his spoon against the bowl. “I tried everything and it just wouldn’t move,” He mumbled as he aggressively stabbed a Cheerio.

“You tried to make it move?” Janus’ voice gained a shrillness. He couldn’t believe the boy’s audaciousness! “Logan,” He reprimanded sternly but to no avail. The boy continued to sluice quiet mayhem through his cereal and Janus was at a loss.

He glanced up the stairs a final time. It was early, Virgil wouldn’t come out of his room for a couple hours at least, if he did at all that day. His mind quietly asked what Remus would be doing, forgetting for a moment in the emotional chaos that he had run away to the Imagination months ago. Janus sighed and crossed the room.

“So,” He said in a decidedly conversational tone as he sat down at the table. “Anything interesting happening today?” He gestured at the television and Logan shrugged. Janus frowned. The topic of why he was here would have to be breached eventually, but as long as the Subconscious was refusing to move Logan’s room, Janus didn’t think it was an emergency. What was an emergency, however, was the poor boy’s emotional state.

“Do you want more cereal?” Janus offered quietly as he eyed the nearly empty bowl. Surely the Cheerios that were left were too soggy to be enjoyed at this point.

“I can get it myself,” Logan nearly spat with a venom Janus hadn’t heard from him yet. His brows raised, both concerned and entertained.

The Logic he knew would never use such a tone, the contrast was almost funny. Though Logan hadn’t changed completely he noticed; Janus had several memories of Logan insisting he could do something himself. From climbing on counters for scissors he definitely shouldn’t have been using, to pulling bookshelves down instead of asking one of the older Sides to get a book for him, to stubbornly using the side of his fork with both hands to cut a piece of chicken when he would refuse help with dinner. But it would all be done with apologies and explanations, assurances that he’d be safer next time, growing understanding that though his mind was large, he was still small.

“Logan,” Janus said patiently, the humor in his expression dissolving to reveal patience and worry. The boy grit his teeth and continued to glare narrow eyes down at his cereal bowl. “Why did you come here?” Janus asked softly, leaning forward to try and meet Logan’s eyes.

Then Logan remembered that in the short time they had been on the same side of the Mindscape together, Self Preservation had always listened to him. He had always been there to turn to when the others ignored him. Remembering this made his anger ebb away, though with that, the sadness he had been trying to ignore washed ashore. The hardness in his expression softened, but he still refused to look up.

“Morality and Creativity don’t listen to me,” Logan admitted quietly and shame filled his stomach, colliding with his breakfast in a way that made him nauseous. “I’ve tried everything but Morality always says I’m too young to tell him what to do,” His brow twitched and Janus watched as his sad expression morphed back into something more callous.

The sight hurt his heart, but mostly it made anger warm his chest. What on earth was Patton doing? The root of all their issues so far had been a distinct lack of listening. From fighting with Janus over developing moral stances, to stubbornly refusing to consider nuance in the pursuit of art and self expression, to the apathetic dismissal of welling fear and anxiety as adulthood approached -- was there anyone Patton listened to?

“So you came here,” Janus sighed, attempting and somewhat failing to keep the rage out of his tone. “Because I had always listened to you,” He guessed but then Logan shrugged and shook his head.

“Sort of,” He replied and Janus blinked curiously. Had he missed something? “Mostly I just assumed this is where we came when Patton hated us.”

The straightforward words punched Janus in the gut, knocking the wind out of him like he had just unexpectedly stepped off a building and was now free falling with panicked arms that reached for anything to hold on to. As usual, Logic’s assessment wasn’t incorrect. In a way, this was where the Sides Morality didn’t like ended up; but it was deeper than that. At least Janus had to hope it was deeper than that, or else he’d never find it in himself to forgive his closest friend. Janus swallowed his hurt and sat up, shoving his shaking hands under the table. It wasn’t Logan’s fault and he wouldn’t hold the injury against him, though he did need a moment for a deep breath before he was able to find his voice again.

“Patton doesn’t hate you,” Janus reassured baselessly on reflex, but then he stopped. He couldn’t think of anything else to say that wasn’t just blatantly lying -- which, of course, he had no issues with, but it was a sad realization, nevertheless.

“Then why doesn’t he listen to me?” Logan asked as Janus faltered. “Why did he send you and Anxiety and Remus away?” He looked around the shadowed room as he spoke before meeting Janus’ eyes again. “Creativity calls this the Dark Side which implies that he and Morality make up some sort of Lighter half,” Janus’ hands became unsteady once more as Logan continued asking questions he didn’t necessarily have answers to. At least no answers he wanted to admit. “But if they’re just going to keep dismissing me, then I don’t want any part in that,” He said decisively and pushed his cereal bowl away like it contained the subject matter. “If being a Dark Side means being listened to, then that’s what I’ll be.”

“No, you won’t,” Janus said much harder than he meant to, making Logan’s eyes shoot up. “You’re going back,” he said resolutely, leaving no room for misinterpretation in his tone. Logan opened his mouth but then Janus stood, the chair squeaking loudly against the floor. “If Patton did actually hate you as he does myself and the others, your room would be here,” Janus pointed out, flaring his own heartache with the presumed fact. Logan frowned angrily and balled a fist on the table.

“I’ll just sleep on the couch then.”

“No. You won’t.”

“Fine, I’ll sleep in Remus’ room. He’s used to sharing.”

“This isn’t a debate, Logan, you’re going back.” Janus said evenly, without raising his voice, which somehow made the seriousness in his tone and the steel in his eyes even more intimidating.

In the glaring silence of Logan frantically trying to think of more argument points, Janus’ phone vibrated in his pocket. With a short and aggravated huff, he fished the object out and rolled his eyes at the displayed message.

[SMS From: Patton]

PLEASE tell me Logan isn’t with you

“Well,” Janus sighed, “It seems we’re both in trouble now.”

[SMS Re: Patton]

Oh no, not at all. Whyever would you think that

“That’s Morality, isn’t it,” Logan guessed, looking miserably down at the table. He didn’t want to think about what Morality was saying.

“Yes,” Janus confirmed as he ignored the message that popped up almost immediately. Shoving the phone into his pocket, he sat back down quietly.

Logan was smart, far too smart for his age which is why everything was very difficult for him. Morality was childish and couldn’t see past the fact that Logan was the youngest. Even so, it wasn’t as if he was an actual child. He was the manifestation of Thomas’ Logic; undeveloped, easily frustrated, overwhelmed by his Feelings and in desperate need of acknowledgement for simply trying his best. But even when Janus would convey it to Patton in that way, there was no getting to him.

The fear that Logic would be cast aside and hidden away in this Darkness along with him was real, however. If that were to happen, Thomas would be in a very dangerous situation. It was terrifying enough that his natural Fight or Flight was already over here -- that his very will to live was as well. Janus didn’t want to think about what metamorphosis Logic would go through in that process. From Fear to Anxiety, now to Paranoia; watching Virgil suffer was already more than enough heartache for him, which wasn’t even to mention what was happening to Remus.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so angry at you, Logan,” Janus spoke softly, folding his hands on the table. He watched with a frown as Logan continued staring down. “But I really need you to understand that this is no place for you.” He leaned forward, trying to meet Logan’s eyes again, to no avail. “I know it’s hard, I know Patton doesn’t listen, but you have to keep trying,” Janus’ tone and expression were beseeching and genuine, his brow creased with a deep worry he didn’t have words for. “You have to promise me that you’ll keep trying,” Logan looked up, defiance and confusion hardening his eyes. He opened his mouth but Janus continued. “You have to. Even when you don’t want to. Even when the others don’t want you to. You have to, for Thomas.”

Logan stared at him, confusion slowly overtaking his rebellion. Janus looked…sincere and earnest, but he didn’t understand why. What was the point of arguing with Morality and Creativity if they would never listen? What was the point of going back when even Self Preservation knew he’d always be dismissed? It sounded exhausting. At fourteen, Logan was already so tired of it. But there was something in Janus’ eyes that convinced him to stop fighting; something that told him there was more he just didn’t understand yet. If that were true, if that were ever true, he’d believe it coming from the Side in front of him now and him, alone.

“Okay,” Logan sighed and Janus smiled in relief.

“Good,” He nodded at the bowl as he sat back in his chair again. “You can finish up your breakfast but then--”

“There you are!” Patton’s voice, coming from behind Janus, stopped his words dead in their tracks. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, kiddo!”

“Morality,” Logan said, the word easily mistaken for a greeting. The boy glanced between Patton and Janus, the latter having lined his lips in a pensive, unhumored smile.

“Whatcha doin’ over here, bud?” Patton asked as he approached the table. Janus rolled his eyes and leaned as far away in his chair as he could manage.

Watching Janus’ reactions to Morality, Logan felt equally annoyed; both at the fact that Morality came here to get him, and also for how interrupted their conversation had become.

“Eating,” Logan said curtly, reaching for his cereal bowl.

“Well you know we have plenty of cereal in our kitchen, so why don’t you come on back and I’ll pour you some!”

Patton’s positivity grated Janus like sandpaper. Years of assumptions and miscommunications soured his stomach. His body reacted to Morality like something toxic.

“Maybe he prefers the cereal over here,” Janus mumbled sarcastically and Patton bristled as though he had honestly expected Janus to stay silent this entire exchange.

Logan bit his tongue to keep the appeased smile off his lips but his interest bubbled over. No Side had gotten under Patton’s skin like that since Anxiety was sent away. It was almost a missed sight.

“He wouldn’t know what the cereal over here was like unless someone made him try it,” Patton not-so-subtly accused as he reached for Logan’s wrist.

Logan refused at first, pulling with half strength against Patton’s grip. “I’m perfectly capable of pouring cereal myself, Morality,” He mumbled as he met Janus’ eyes. His sardonic and cynical expression seemed to say, it’d be easier to just go along with him I guess, much to Logan’s dismay. “But fine,” He sighed and let himself be pulled to stand, though he immediately shook off Patton’s hand.

“Thank you,” Patton gloated as he turned to leave and Janus all but groaned out loud.

Logan paused. The moral superiority that rolled off Patton was familiar, but at the same time something new against the kindness Janus had shown him. He could easily see why they didn’t get along; their methods were very different. Morality was overbearing, insistent, stubborn, rigid, and often narrow minded. Having developed from Thomas’ Feelings, Patton was silly, immature, and hard to take seriously. Self Preservation was the opposite somehow; smart, clever, flexible, nuanced, and able to see the whole picture with ease. Janus was sarcastic, mature, and deathly serious when need be as a result. Comparing them, it was easy to see why Logic had an easier time getting along with Self Preservation, and why it was pointless to hope that would ever change.

“I’m not doing this because you convinced me to,” Logan told Patton as he trailed after.

Patton turned to blink at Logan, looking mostly confused with a hint of offense. “Of course not,” He saved face, “You’re coming back because over there is where you belong.”

“No,” Logan said slowly, glancing behind himself at Janus, who stayed sitting facing away from them. “I’m doing this because Thomas needs me,” He informed Patton as he began to sink out. “And because you and Creativity would be hopeless by yourselves.”

Janus snickered, covering the sound with a cough into his hand.

“My word, Logan sure has developed quite the backbone while I’ve been gone,” Janus snarked once he and Patton were alone.

“What did you say to him?” Patton accused, his tone somewhere between antagonistic and wounded.

“Why, nothing of course,” Janus mocked and Patton’s eyes narrowed. “We just bonded over our mutual dismissal, is all.”

“I don’t dismiss him!” Patton sputtered and Janus snorted. A tense silence rose before Patton continued. “Anyway, you shouldn’t be talking to him.”

Janus stood finally and turned to face Patton, his brows raised. “And why’s that?”

“Because you’re gonna i-influence him or something! Like you did with Remus and then Logan will be over here too!” Patton stuttered and Janus scowled.

“Oh please, you know I’m the only reason he went back so willingly,” Janus waved a limp hand. “Though I doubt he’ll try this again anytime soon, so you don’t have to worry your simple little head about it, darling.”

“Well, good.” Patton finished, glowering at Janus’ smirk. He hated that expression. Why was Janus happy about them fighting? It certainly didn’t make Patton happy. He was anything but having to face him like this. Without much more to say, he sank out as Janus offered a caustic wave of his fingers.

“Good riddance.”

Chapter Three || Chapter Five Part One / Part Two

#loceit appreciation week #loceit week #loceitweek2021 #loceit #janus x logan #sanders sides fanfiction

40 notes · View notes

belit0 · 4 years

Text

Sibling Issues

Chap 2

Rating: E

Pairing: [Uchiha Madara / Uchiha Izuna / Fem Reader]

TW: nope

[DON'T HATE ME OMG THIS HAS BEEN ON MY MIND AND I HAD TO WRITE IT laufuekwslak]

Madara has always been perverse with his punishments, profoundly enjoying the sight of you suffering in front of his eyes, witnessing your despair to an almost maddening extent. It is not as if you had something to complain about, being tied up and over-stimulated to the limit of frustration by a man like him seemed like a dream, and every time you felt his expert fingers wandering through the scars he created in your skin, you wondered if your relationship with the Uchiha was not purely a charming fantasy.

That's how you felt at that moment, imprisoned in bed, naked and bound by hands and legs. With your limbs forced to stay apart by ropes, it is your man who watches you from his intimidating height, standing in front of you, rejoicing in your humiliation.

Gagged with your panties, you cannot speak or beg for mercy, for knowing him, you know that something heavy is coming, even considering the torture he has been inflicting on you for the past thirty minutes. How did you end up in this situation? You refused to accompany him to his meeting with Hashirama this morning, as the previous night was filled with passion and rudeness on his part, and you really needed to sleep. Of course he did not take your disobedience well, and no opportunity escapes Madara to punish you when you are a bad girl.

Crossed arms in front of the bed, wearing a black turtleneck shirt, with his hair pulled up in a ponytail and ready to leave again, he observes you with malice. In one of his hands, a black vibrator is off, glowing with your fresh fluids because it has been recently removed from you. He's only wearing gloves on one of his hands, and it's the one he's not holding the object he's using to tease you.

"Now, [Y/N], I'd love to stay and play with that sweet, tight pussy of yours, but I've been summoned by the elders of the Clan to a private meeting. You have 10 seconds to cum, otherwise you will remain tied up until my return."

Flushed and on the verge of tears, you did your best in begging him to take you, as the constant stimulus he had been applying to you for the past half hour was too much, and you could no longer bear it. In fact, you weren't even sure you could concentrate enough to cum with the speed he was demanding.

The incoherence of your words, which were suffocated by the fabric of your underwear, and the drool that fell from your mouth because of the inability to close it completely, only made Madara laugh in front of you, sending even more heat to your lower body and a feeling of deep humiliation to the whole situation.

This man delights in throwing you low.

"Keep quiet, are we clear?"

Approaching your dripping cunt again, he turned on the vibrator, while slowly positioning himself between your legs. He travelled all over your skin with the moving object, rubbing all areas of your body and purposely avoiding your clitoris. Staring into your eyes, the devilish grin on his face was unable to wipe off his features, enjoying your helplessness and cravings, the need to feel pleasure and liberation once and for all.

When a tear escaped from one of your eyes, he decided he could give you what you finally deserved, and without warning, he directed the vibrator that was slowly massaging your nipples towards your pussy, pressing it directly on your sensitive pearl, watching you with expectant eyes.

Your back curved upwards, while you pressed your hips towards him, seeking even more support and contact with the object that would give you your long-awaited orgasm. Your eyes inevitably closed, and your mouth opened in an incredible way, making your underwear go even deeper into it.

“1… 2… 3…”

In the face of Madara's hasty account, you remembered with effort his warning, and made your greatest effort to direct your mind to the greatest point of pleasure, even without being able to move your legs or arms.

"4... 5... 6... such an obedient little whore..."

At the compliment of your man, the motivation you really needed appeared, and you could feel the much-awaited moment finally arrive.

“7… 8… 9…”

And before he could reach the end of the count, one of your best orgasms hit your senses, causing your whole body to shake and your limbs to seek compression against your figure, protecting your sensitive clitoris from the abusive prolonged sensation of the vibrator.

When he saw that you met his demand, he walked away from you and removed the object, took the panties from your mouth and gave you water to drink.

"Well done [Y/N], I expected nothing less from you... but I regret to inform you this is not enough."

"W-Wha-at?"

"You abandoned me all alone with Hashirama and his delusions of worldly friendship all morning. Did you think such a modest punishment would save you, doll?"

"Madara please!"

He took your jaw with his gloved hand, exerting a slight pressure to open your mouth, and pushed the same underwear back into your cavity. A muffled scream escaped your mouth in surprise, which the Uchiha easily silenced with a slap on your thigh.

Leaving you tied up, he turned on the vibrator again, and there you understood the worst was what you were about to face. He pushed the object deep inside you, wiped his fluid-soaked hand on a towel, arranged his clothes and put on the missing glove.

"I'll take my time; I expect to return and find you a mess."

You couldn't even think of an answer, as the pleasure and sensitivity your body was experiencing at the same time was too much to concentrate on anything else.

With a firm step and completely unconcerned with your condition, Madara disappeared out the door of the room, while his steps were heard increasingly faint in the corridor. A second later, the front door opened before closing again, leaving you alone in front of Uchiha's mansion.

Your figure twisted in bed, thanking every orgasm caused by the vibrator inside you and trying to cooperate with the over-stimulation, forcing the ropes that kept you tied up, trembling at every sensation and movement, your skin bristling and your eyes watering from such torture.

So abstracted were you in your world of self-indulgence that you did not hear the front door open and close again.

Nor did you hear the footsteps outside the room.

Nor did you hear the voice of a man who was not Madara asking if everything was okay.

Reality hit you again when your reddish eyes met those of Uchiha Izuna, who, for some reason unrelated to you, was at your house, at your bedroom door, witnessing the kinks you and your man shared.

"...I-I... I-I... shouldn't b-be here..."

As the Uchiha was about to leave, the vibrator touched a key point inside you, making you scream loud and deeply while another orgasm was released into your body. The muffled moans caught his attention, and the way your body contorted itself mesmerized him into an inexplicable spell.

Awakening from the enchantment of your figure, Izuna realized that his Sharingan had been activated, and that in his memory now lay engraved the intimate moment of you reaching your peak of pleasure. Ashamed of himself for even having such thoughts with his brother's partner, he walked over to the bed, and removed the garment that prevented you from speaking.

"I'm sorry [Y/N] I'll leave you alone and..."

"PLEASE IZUNA HELP ME."

Stupefied by his uselessness and feeling guilty about your clear suffering, the Uchiha tried to regain his composure and not let himself be carried away by the image in front of him.

"S-Sure! Just... just tell me what I have to do."

"UNTIE MY HANDS."

Obeying your demands, he quickly released your two wrists, having to lean slightly over you to untie the one at the other end of the bed. When you regained movement, something fierce took hold of your mind, and the fact of having another Uchiha in front of you, belonging to Madara's family, no less than his little brother, set your senses on fire even more.

Taking him by the hair with force, you made his face bend towards you, brutally bumping his lips against yours. Izuna found himself reluctant to reciprocate the kiss at first, but when your tongue slipped over his lips in hunger and need, his mouth opened without hesitation and devoured you with the same intensity.

Separating slightly and for a second, you managed to look him in the eye and tell him.

"Please fuck me Izuna."

"Shit, if you ask like that."

He quickly positioned himself between your legs, and rapidly Dropping your almost numb extremities on the mattress, you watched as he removed the vibrator from your interior, moaning at every centimeter of the object.

In the blink of an eye, his clothes lay forgotten somewhere in the room, and a hardened limb stood in front of your entrance. Aligning himself with you, his thrust was sharp and direct, penetrating you mercilessly.

He leaned over you, hiding his face in the hollow of your neck and biting into your skin, while your legs locked around his waist to feel him completely within you. Your hands became entangled in his hair, and soon you found yourself undoing his ponytail so you could pull his strands more easily.

His breaths became agitated, short and deep, arousing you even more, to the point where you thought it was no longer possible to receive stimulation. His muscles above you tensed with every movement of his hip, and with your tightened eyes, you breathed in his male scent with despair.

"I'm going to... ah... fuck you so well... shit... that you'll forget... his name... Kami... you're so tight [Y/N]"

"I-Izuna-a -gasp- I'm c-com-ming -gasp-"

Upon hearing your response, his thrusts took on a new speed, an almost overwhelming pace for your labored body, making you reach the last orgasm of the night with just a few moves. You felt his cum spread inside you, covering your walls with that warm liquid, and your mind was delighted with satisfaction.

Until you realized what had really happened.

And when Izuna came down from his orgasm, he couldn't help but feel less guilty than you.

"[Y/N]... what... what have we done..."

#uchiha madara x reader #uchiha izuna x reader #madara x reader #izuna x reader #uchiha madara #uchiha izuna #madara #izuna #x reader #madara x izuna x reader #naruto imagines #naruto shippuden #naruto x reader

228 notes · View notes