#sorry about the self-indulgent ending delusions

[zoneofsmites]

26, 29 and 30 of the Durge asks for Sylas?

26 - How does your Dark Urge feel about Bhaal?

Bhaal is his father, his creator, the only thing he can love. The only thing he fears.

The god of murder made him. Not in a mundane way were he simply laid with a mortal. No Bhaal actively made him to be is as he is, from his own flesh. Sylas owes quite literally everything to him.

It is only fitting that he gives everything in return.

(Sylas says he loves his father but truly it is deeply sated fear he cannot escape)

29 - What advice would you give to your Dark Urge?

Please stop seeing love as worship. I am going to fucking throttle you if you cannot be normal about your relationships with others, fucking hell (affectionate).

He gets there in the end but I need him to get there faster <- said by person who made him like this.

30 - What are your Dark Urge’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

I have also answered this question here! However. I can keep going on about this topic forever. Like I said in the other post - the delulu land w/ melon is extensive. (and is something that might... change depending on that epilogue update????)

The ending of the game splits the party up. Karlach is accompanied to the Hells by Donnie, Gale and Shadowheart - they're the ground team. Astarion flees before Karlach goes supernuclear - Wyll follows (wyllstarion my beloved). Sylas stays because of the egg - and Viola. They become the research team with the help of Dammon and later Dame Aylin and Isobel.

I'm not going into it too deep, because this is bordering on extreme self-indulgent delusion. But research team is eventually planning a soul heist to be able to ressurect Enver Gortash. (can't resurrect someone if their soul is unwilling or unable to return - Bane is not going to let Enver's soul be snatched away. Hence, heist.)

tysm for the ask <3

Questions are from here.

[simonisferal]

there's only one god you'd serve — scaramouche x obsessed, scholar male reader

"you're so crazy, manipulate me." — SUICIDAL-IDOL

shouki no kami era (everlasting lord of arcane wisdom), reader's not like other boys 🤭, ii dottore mentioned :/, yandere-ish and dark themes, haypasia slander (sorry), suggestive, pet play (leashes and collars), reader's kind jealous, praise (scars), VERY self indulgent — needed to feed my own delusion 😞 also dottore's kinda ooc / also didn't know what happened towards the end but 🤷

spoiler alert if you havent completed sumeru's archon quests

snezhnaya was never kind to the weak, you had to learn that yourself. the harsh weather and lack of trade made it almost impossible to live off as a commoner unless you were to join the ranks in the fatui. your parents didn't want that for you but by tradition, you were forced to be exploited by the tsaritsa and her harbingers.

you never cared for her royalty, only acknowledging the words of your lord.

he was sweet to you as a child, often letting you cry at the loss of your parents' attention even though he'd tell you to suck it up later. he'd let you eat some of the sweets he gotten from banquets, ones he hated due to the sugar or just overall sweetness. you would attempt to repay the favor of his kindness but he dismissed it as you were a kid, still learning how to survive.

he was right because when you were drafted as a teenager, any soft words or affection he'd give a regular child disappeared. he didn't even remember your name or maybe he just never cared to learn it before. but the live he would give you for years to come tainted any familiarity within you and him.

later, you were stationed in sumeru, the nation of wisdom. your group was meerly there to threaten a few merchants and to place fear in the believers of the dendro archon and her young vessel. it was easy enough and it was easier to slip through the cracks of the broken squad and find yourself in front of the akademiyian doors.

maybe it was the inner child in you who wished to learn, or the teenager who wanted so badly to run away, or the adult you are now who wanted to do both out of spite.

you made the smart choice of taking most of your funds out of the northland bank in your small vacation to liyue before this. it wasn't much, sure, but it was little to go noticed and enough to let you study and rent out a proper living quarters for two whole years. for all the hard work fatui members do, their pay matches their energy.

you cut your hair short, switch out uniforms, and do the tough assignment of giving yourself long lasting marks and burns. even the little thorn pricks mattered as the small group had gone looking for you.

no one dared to accuse you but instead asked where you were from and how you got those scars. lie after lie with you. a mask was put up between your past and your future life to secure the safety and comfort of being long forgetten by your comrades. it didn't bother you when the fatui came in the akademiya, searching for their previous team member, and your classrooms. they hadn't even seen your eyes, let alone your face or body out of the uniform.

it was refreshing to say the least. you had the freedom of an uncaged fledgling, slowly but surely using your small wings to fly away from your problems. and it managed to work for a while.

you continued your new life for years, studying under the kshahrewar darshan, managing your own job at a bar, and even learning to love lesser lord kusanali, even if she wasn't present. your life was great until you heard mentions of the fatui again.

your boss placed you in charge of serving any members of the group since they didn't seem to bother you (he shits his pants every time he sees their signature masks). making their drinks and setting down their plates, your ears perk up as they talk about their lord harbinger.

"the balladeer retrieved the electro gnosis from inazuma, what greatness!" one chimed. another one joined in with sorrow, "the fair lady's sacrifice shalln't be in vain comrades, remember what she has given us." they seem to salute to themselves in a creepy, culty way. weirdos...

they didn't even bother to pay for their meals and it pissed you off. mainly because their debt was paid from your wallet either way and becuase of their entitled natures. you scoff as you clock out, placing some of your mora into the register and walking home.

the next day, scholars you had known acted different towards you. not in a they know your secret, run way, but in a they're too busy to even look at you right now way. you would've let it be if it was for matters important but it wasn't even project week. you sat alone in the library, tinkering away with your machines that you yourself built.

an alternative for a vision was your most prized possessions, it wasn't like a delusion nor a vision, running on some sort of life or desire to be obtained but mildly a packet of batteries and some water of fontaine. no help from the akasha as usual, even you knew it was tainted with, made the project more valuable to you.

scholars appeared at your desk, sitting in front and beside you as you tinkered away. you didn't bother to look up at them in the process, your alt-vision tied onto your hands if they tried something funny. you sat in quiet until one of them grabbed you and stood you off of your seat. you were about to laugh in their faces about rough-housing until you saw their eyes. they were covered by a mask. a very familiar one at that.

"you're coming with us." you scoff, tugging back your arm. their grip is still tightening as the other members stand up to back them up. brotherhood is disgusting.

you clenched your jaw as you think about your options. cause a scene and somehow manage to get azur on this was the worst case scenario. he was the main cause of the farui roaming around with the audacity to spread rumors about your renowned archon. the best case scenario was to go somewhere private and defeat them, you think. you frown, relaxing your arm in their grasp and letting them drag to you a empty room.

they shove you in and lock the door behind them. they guard the door, in and out, like there was an important figure to maintain. you scoff, rubbing your arm due to their harsh yanking and examine the room. it's one you hadn't seen before, even after several years of being in sumeru. the interior is damp and dark, small cords of purple liquid ran on the floor and walls, and a maniac laughter that you knew only belonged to one person.

"well, if it isn't one of your previous servants, scaramouche." you can see his twisted and pointed teeth smile from where you were standing. his mask was unlike any other, and the second ranked harbinger tilted his head in amusement.

you heard another voice, more of a scoff than an actual word. "as if i'd need him back. he can go die off just like the rest of his pathetic group." his tone was condescending, like it had previously been for years. you didn't expect to see him until your death and he was the devil.

it was habit but after a few seconds, you got on your knees and bowed. your head laid down as sweat ran down your face. your done. your life as a scholar and a perfectly okay person was slipping through your fingers. "..lord."

"get up off the floor, insect. don't dirty my floors." ii dottore laughed at his remarks and you only trembled. you didn't fear him as everyone did, you didn't hate him like others did. you had a weird sense of devotion to him, like he was a god. you stayed on the floor, shaking your head. "apologies but i'm afraid i... i can't."

scaramouche growled from where he was, on a small throne. how mature.

the doctor beside his simple chair walked up to you and crouched to meet your eyes. he lifted your head with his finger no problem and you could only stare back at his mask. "you have a feisty scholar, balladeer. i'm sure he'll be the perfect addition." he chimes. you can't tell if he's being serious or not.

the sixth only cross his arms and leans back in his seat. he huffs. "that alternative for a vision powered on simple batteries is amateur work, at its finest. you sure there's no one else?" it hurt hearing your (new) life's work being tarnished but you don't refute it. you can only clench the false mechanic. ii dottore seemed to have seen a look in your face because he laughs.

"no one who knows the insides and out of elemental material and how to transfer it into a battery powered object. and yet that's exactly what we need." he looks back at the fellow harbinger. "don't be a brat in front of one of your beloved followers."

your breath hitches and you look back down in contrast of what both harbingers want. scaramouche scoffs, "fine. if this gnat is what i need, i suppose i'll do him the favor of letting him serve me."

the next several days were the most complicated of your life. you had so desperately escaped the fatui for years and life a studious life but all that hard work bit you in your ass later.

you were helping design and make with large tubes that had to be strong enough to handle the energy transfer of a gnosis alongside another group of scholars—mainly the ones who decleared they were too busy. it was complicated work for most and you had to lend your precious 'vision' as an example of a smaller transfer. you weren't even supposed to be studying this matter as your major but libraries are full of knowledge and peace that it was hard to resist.

and when you weren't carrying the group's discoveries and progress, you had to act like a dog. maybe you should've just stayed a fatui and let a playable character kill you for drops. that would be better than working under the supervisor of the doctor. but you doubt it was better than being on the floor, on a collar and leash.

yes, you've expressed plentiful amounts of hatred towards other harbingers (including childe, he would not let you rest in practice), you somehow maintained a sweet spot for scaramouche. he didn't let you call him anything else beside his title, which although fed into his superiority complex, it kind of pleased you to see him in power.

and surprisingly, he let you take control most times when it wasn't anything work related. he had gotten used to your nuisance, as he calls it and even gave you backhanded compliments about your work, including your 'vision'. he regularly got mad and fortunately/unfortunately, you were there for him, letting him tug and pull on your leash. weird, i know but it gave him some sort of comfort.

even outside of his chambers in sumeru, the collar stayed on. you weren't sure it it had a tracking chip or could explode like in your turn to die but you definitely won't risk your life just for an answer. perhaps that's what seperated you from other scholars.

and speaking about other scholars, you loved the balladeer with you heart and soul, as a child, teen, and now, but he thought it was a good idea to collect a new follower. was it because you weren't enough? her name was haypasia and although she was fairly pretty, you hated her. maybe because she got to see his previous names and life before you even dared to dream it. your blood boiled at the thought of them getting closer.

you sat in scaramouche's chambers, near his bed, waiting for him. it was like your second home already, most of your clothes were hanged and your shoes were placed softly near the foot of the bed. your favorite books and novels were set on a bookshelf that he had personally installed to keep you entertained while he was gone.

you could work on your project—you know, the only reason you were forced to meddle with the fatui again, but nah. you just sat there, waiting for your beloved (as he lets you call him) to return from the greenhouse. your jaw clenched at the thought of haypasia worshipping him like she was special. maybe she was but you'd never admit it out loud.

the only thing that took you out of your thoughts was when your shared bedroom door flung open with an aggravated harbinger standing in front of it. he slams the door closed, stepping inside and sitting down beside you on his bed.

"..lord?" scaramouche looked down at his hands. they were balled up into fists and they were trembling. he was definitely mad if the door didn't proof it already. he didn't bother looking at you, only extending his hand towards you. you already knew what to do and you head him a leash tied to your collar. he doesn't pull it to your surprise and instead looks up at you.

"give me your hand."

you raise an eyebrow but do as he says either way. you gently place your hand in his, it was slightly bigger than his and scared with tiny slashes and cuts. he holds it tightly and faces you. "where'd you get these? no lies."

the sixth slid his other hand to your forearm, tracing over the marks and scars you had given yourself. he was gentle with it unlike his usual nature and it gave you a sense of familiarity, the one you had lost before. "i gave them to myself, sir.."

he looks at you for a split second before eying your healed wounds. he raised your hand closer to him as if he were examining each individual pore on your skin. "why?" scaramouche asks.

you don't lie, "to hide."

the harbinger frowns and holds your hand up to his cheek. what exactly did haypasia do to him? he leans into your touch and flutters his eyelashes at you. all his previous anger was gone, like it was a facade or an act to get your attention. "from me?"

"i could never hide from you." he grins, backing away from your hand and placing it in his lap alongside his own hands. "good. if that was the plan, i would simply just let you leave. no big deal.." he looks away from you, acting like he's better than to see such a pest as youself but you see the small hint of red on his face.

he scoffs, "you'd come back to me," he leans in while grabbing your arm in a rough manner. "isn't that right?" scaramouche asks.

you can't help the small smile on your face and nod. he smirks and runs his hand on your broad shoulders, trailing them down your arms and admiring every inch of your tainted skin. "really? and how do you expect me to believe you?" it was a rtheorical question, you know but answering it would lead to a better place.

"how about i prove it to you?"

[ohsunnyboy]

never again | yoon keeho ˚₊‧⁺˖

you don't know what's cuter. you're boyfriend, lee keeho, or the delusion that the leafs will win the cup in either of your lifetimes.

TAGS: established relationship, toronto leafs fan!keeho, boston bruins fan!reader, screaming and shouting at a tv screen, fluff, maple leafs hockey is its own tw, drinking games!! keeho is lowk ooc

A/N: based off this iconic video. game 6 changed my brain chemistry and gave me hope until... well iykyk... here's the match recap. this is so niche it's entirely self indulgent sorry in advance lmao

WORDS: ~1000

If you're going to be a hockey fan, you should know the number one rule: don't date within the division.

The notorious ad aside, it's pretty clear, once it gets to playoffs with you two, everything's off the table. Especially if you're throwing couch cushions across the room when you're team can't convert on a power play. Cough, the leafs, cough.

Which made it especially weird when you, a Boston Bruins fan ended up dating Yoon Keeho, a fucking Toronto Maple Leafs fan.

"Oh my god are the refs blind?! That's clearly a holding call!" he cries. Ah, it really doesn't get sweeter than this.

"Shut up, he just boarded Lohrei with that! Penalty for both of them," you snarl out, eyes fixated on the tv screen, watching the play-by-play slo-mo of the hit. Lohrei crumpling against the boards as Holmberg practically folds him. "Look! They're not even calling it. Did you see Carolina yesterday? they were calling everything that breathed wrong."

With a sigh, both you and Keeho take a shot. At this rate, you both could be professional alcoholics with how many missed penalty calls there've been this series. You can already feel the regret in the morning trying to sink in with this drinking game.

Keeho hums beside you, but he's been practically vibrating out his skin the entire game. "That's just Svechnikov no? He's massi—OH MY GOD WILLIAM NYLANDER YOU SWEDISH BEAUTY!"

The screen erupts as Nylander finally opens the scoring for the Leafs. A sea of horrific blue and white exploding into cheers. Idly, you think it's the most lively you've seen Scotiabank Arena in years.

"Ugh, really?" And you just have to flop back into the couch corner as Keeho takes his victory lap around the room. Dressed in, of course, his Nylander jersey.

"Oh yeah baby! I could marry that man," he laughs, before very comically and somehow very seriously turning back to you. "After you, babe. Of course after you, love of my life, angel of my univer-"

You hurl one of your last pillows at him. "Sit back down, idiot." The high flush on his face is pretty adorable, even if his alcohol breath stinks when he curls in next to you on the couch. Both of you are going to be crawling out of bed tomorrow for sure.

From above and below your small apartment you can hear the same screams. With the window propped open, you can even hear horns go off in the streets. Capital of Hockey and all that. Moving here to be with Keeho had been hard to do, but so much more worth it for the hockey. Especially when Boston comes rolling into town: being the only Bruins fan for rows on rows was intimidating but so much sweeter if they won.

"I'm your idiot, idiot," he croons into your neck. Peppering you with cute and sloppy kisses across your skin. You finger's curl idly into his hair as you watch the ads spin by on the tv, signalling the end of the second period. His cold fingertips curl around your waist, idly smoothing circles into it. Curled up like this, it's the cosiest you could ask for - and somehow you don't mind the lack of pillows. You both make up for it with your shared body heat.

Carefully, you extract your phone from under him like he's a jenga tower about to fall, but game-drunk like this, he could probably sleep through the Leafs Stanley cup parade if they did win for once.  

Twitter's the same as you left it: another TicTacTOmar clip of Lohrei and Holmberg, more Steve Dangle commentary and your Boston moots crowing about how the Leafs will lose it in the third period. Very, very secretly, you don't think they will. Swayman vs Woll as goalies are brilliant – and terribly good looking – but it must be the phase of the moon or something stupid, but Toronto might just win it this game.

Looking down at your sleeping beauty, Keeho is blissfully passed out on your chest. Face semi-flushed, mouth agape and drool leaking out. Yeah, this is going in the camera roll.

A quick snap and a venture into your settings is all it takes to set the glorious picture as your lock screen. And, if you squint, you can see Draisaitl's neon orange Skip ad in the background. Exactly why you're dating him in the first place.

"You really are my idiot, idiot," you murmur and you press a kiss to his hairline, a warm feeling roiling in your stomach.

Stashing your phone away, you ready yourself with a minute on the clock until the third starts. Saying that, you should really wake sleeping beauty up. "Hey... hey, get up. The Leafs lost in overtime again."

His eyes blink blearily as he processes your words. Slowly, then all at once, you can see the panic settle into his eyes as he sees your shit-eating grin. “No they didn't,” he whispers, but it borders on desperate.

You really can't help yourself. "Yup! There was even a line brawl," you sigh dramatically, bringing your hand to your forehead with a flair. "Swayman was even fighting Woll, a whole goalie scrap and you missed it."

"Nope! Not believing it." Keeho finally has the common sense to turn to look at the screen and realise the third's just begun. The stare of disappointment he gives you is cold enough to give Winnipeg a run for its money. "Never again."

You roll your eyes but just pat the space next to you for him to settle down properly on. "C'mon, whoever loses this has to get breakfast."

“You’re so on,” he huffs to agree, taking a bodily effort to sit back against the couch and on your cold feet. There’s a fire in his eyes that makes you regret this already. “I’m so making you drive to Timmy’s.”

Deep in your heart, if you had to choose Boston or Toronto to win the cup, you'd still choose Boston. But no matter how this series ends, you'd still love your boyfriend very, very much.

if this in any way endeared you to hockey come check my sideblog @wannadewar where i lament and fangirl! if you somehow enjoyed this, a like or reblog would be lovely :) ⭒ masterlist

[yanteetle]

I’ve always been curious on what type of parents the Yan!Rise gang would be🤔

And this may be a bit too dark but would any of the guys have kids as a way to control their so?👀

(Love your work so much dude😭💛)

Oh honey.... These kinds of dark questions always manage to get me hyped and I feel so embarrassed about it LMAO-

Personally, I kind of see Raph to be the yandere that would end up having a kid to ensure his darling is locked in with him forever. (this hc might be self-indulgent, so please take it with a pinch of salt :)) In his mind, if he had to take care of his brothers as kids, what harm could a few more turtles running around possibly do? He always did like being the leader after all, so maybe he'll just do it in a different way. Whether his darling is ready for what that entails, is a whole other question. 🤗

The others? I personally can't see Mikey as the type to try and baby-trap his darling, since I see him as the clingy youngest-sibling type. However, he might end up doing it if pushed too far, you can never be too careful with the Delusional-type yanderes after all. The moment he starts thinking that having a family will help live out his delusions, his darling is royally fucked.

Donnie however... He already has Shelldon, so he understands some of the responsibilities of raising a child/robot. He might hesitate for a while before actively considering baby trapping his darling. Whether or not he actually goes through with it, solely depends on how mature and ready he is to go through raising a teenager again. (The chances are low, but never zero)

Leo? We all know how he readily accepted Casey into the family once he proved his status in the movie, so he'd probably end up adopting kids when he's older and more invested in expanding the family. Imagine he brings some random baby home and begging his darling to raise it together 💀💀 (although I can see him going with the traditional baby-trapping route, iykwim, I feel he'd resort to adopting more compared to actually having a child)

(I haven't really thought all that much about how they'd be as parents, so I'm really sorry for not answering the question all together! I just don't have too much experience with... Parents or family in general, so I'm not really sure on what they act or feel like! Maybe I'll try in the future, but for now I am kind of clueless about it, sorry about that, and thank you for requesting!)

[fullmetalscullyy]

I read some of your fics and let me just say that I LOVED them!!!! Riza and Roy's relationship was just beautifully written!!! Can I ask if you have any specific headcanons or aus you want to ramble about?

AAAAAA THANK YOU 🥰🩷💖💗

i will preface this with saying it's been about 5 years since i actually watched fma lmao so my concept of royai in general and canon may be (definitely is) skewed purely by my own self indulgence, delusions, and poor memory (for real, i read a fanfic once where they said grumman's first name was walter and i took that on board and for about 8 years thought that was his canon name 💀 i'm easily influenced hahaha) but who cares i'm thriving anyway so i'm happy 😌

ok so. headcanons

most of these change with my mood or what fic i'm writing to fit in with the story i'm writing. i love having flexibility and things to play around with lol

roy calls riza "my love"

tenderness ✅ affection ✅ adoration ✅

this man dragged himself back from the brink of death/unconsciousness under central just so he could go to riza (and alphonse but shhh just riza)

roy fell first

riza fell slowly

he fell HARD and when riza realised she was like "oh shit 😳"

feelings developed tentatively when they were young (roy was both scared of but impressed by quiet, feral little riza). he was patient tho and eventually, riza fell too

idk when they each realised. i like to play about with that idea like toys in the sandbox lol so it chops and changes depending on my mood

they're both v professional obvs and hide their feelings well but sometimes roy gets a wee bit too into the role he ""plays"" while speaking to elizabeth and hears about it later. but he just shrugs and doesn't care bc how can he be sorry when he gets to pretend he's in love, or close to it at least, w elizabeth - not that there's any actual pretending hehehehehe

they end up becoming a dog family. all the pups. because it's what riza wants

realistically, would they have kids together?? hmmm ask again later but in my mind where there's 0 consequence and things are hand wavey yes 😌 need girl dad roy and mama hawk in my life

there is definitely a way they could play marriage between them and having a family strategically and politically and i've read some fab fics and thoughts where they do but i'm not clever enough to think anything up hahaha but i feel like they absolutely would in the canon world. it would suit them and their goals well if they did

obvs the kid would be loved and doted on don't get me wrong it would just be convenient that it worked out politically for them too

i'm sure i have more rattling about in my brain somewhere but i was up at half 4 this morning for a road trip and this is all i got for now hahaha

in terms of aus, i don't have anything cooking atm. i would love to delve into another one but i've done so many at this point i feel i've exhausted my wee list but!! also accomplished and written everything i've wanted to write for royai 🥰

however. i will say. for years i've been dreaming of a royai/x files au. royai as mulder and scully??? roy the believer and riza the skeptic??? stunning. i would LOVE to write that but i just. do not have it in me anymore unfortunately. that being said, i will never say never!! it might eventually come back around to me. but we'll see :)

thank you for the ask!!!!! and the kindness 🥰🩷

[voraciousvore]

The Half-Blood Giant (15/51)

Chapter 15: Interview

Ray only had to traverse a few blocks to reach the school. As he lumbered along, he made conversation with Pedro. “I’m so sorry about kicking you with my shoe. I should’ve been paying better attention,” Ray admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“It’s okay,” Pedro replied softly. As he continued to recline in Ray’s hand, gazing up at the handsome giant, he thought to himself it was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to him. 

“Why are you going to the school anyways? You said you have an interview?” 

“Yeah. A job interview, with the principal of the school. They’re seeking to hire a human counselor.” 

“Oh, so with Mr. Henderson?” 

“Yeah!” Pedro responded with surprise. “You know him?” 

“Yes,” Ray confirmed. “He’s a very nice man. To be honest, I’m surprised he didn’t offer to meet you at the wall. He’s typically considerate of other’s needs.” 

“Oh, he did,” Pedro confessed sheepishly, fiddling with his hands. “I turned him down. I thought... I’d be showing weakness if I accepted. I thought I could make it myself. Boy, was I wrong.” 

Ray couldn’t help but chuckle, sending a bass rumble through Pedro’s body that made him swoon. “You’re a brave little thing, aren’t you? I bet you’ve probably never seen a giant for real until now, huh?” 

Pedro chortled. “You got me. If I had known just how BIG everything was, I might have taken a different approach. But hey—I got to meet you! So, I’m glad things worked out like they did.” He beamed idiotically, completely lovestruck. He couldn’t stop himself. Cupid’s arrow had shot through the mushy beating core of his heart. 

Pedro’s obvious infatuation didn’t escape Ray. He wasn’t sure what to think. He tilted his head slightly, examining the human in his hand. He was cute. Ray had a strange urge to pet him with his finger like a tiny animal, but he restrained himself. The man was so small, that perhaps he was misinterpreting the signals. Ray couldn’t see any reason why a little human would be interested in him, of all people. Sure, he knew a few giant and human couples, like Joey and Eren, but they were an anomaly. It wasn’t a normal reaction to be smitten, especially since this was Pedro’s first time meeting a giant. He was probably just very nervous and embarrassed, which would explain his odd mannerisms.  

Ray dismissed his earlier observations as hopeful fantasy. For some reason, he felt a mild disappointment, but he let it go. Now was not the time to entertain self-indulgent delusions. “Here we are,” he remarked to redirect his thoughts, pushing open the big iron gate to the school grounds. Pedro sat up in his hands and surveyed the area with undisguised awe. Ray watched him with an amused smirk. He headed toward Milton’s office. Since class was in session, the hallways were empty. Pedro peeked into the classrooms as Ray passed by, but from his vantage point he couldn’t see the human desks. He could only see giant students, easily large enough to grab him up in their hands. Anxiety wormed its way into his psyche. Would he be able to handle working here? 

The door to Milton’s office was closed, so Ray knocked. “Uh, come in!” Milton called. Ray stepped inside and changed colors, blanching and reddening in a mess of emotions. Sitting across from the principal was Chester, along with Jackie, the unfortunate human who had ended up inside his stomach earlier that day. Ray was abruptly overcome with nausea and humiliation. He hastily entered the room and dropped off Pedro on the desk. He hated to leave so brusquely, but he couldn’t stand the pressure. He knew Milton would take good care of Pedro, so he didn’t need to worry about him. “See ya,” he mumbled to excuse himself as he rushed out the door, sweating hard. 

“Wait, Ray!” Milton called, but he was gone. “What was that all about?” Jackie and Chester exchanged knowing glances and giggled to each other. Now that Jackie was safe, they could find humor in the situation. Milton parted his lips, ready to ask for an explanation, when his eyes drifted downward to Pedro. The poor man was sitting on the gigantic desk, bewildered to be suddenly abandoned in front of two giants towering over him. 

“Oh, you must be Pedro. I’m Principal Henderson,” Milton introduced himself genially, intertwining his hands on the surface of the desk. Pedro nodded dumbly, craning his neck back to look up into the giant’s compassionate face far above. He felt dizzy and overwhelmed at the height of the man, as if he were conversing with a tall, multi-storied building. Behind him, Chester leaned forward over the desk, inhaling the new human’s scent with interest. He imagined the human would taste sweet, like chocolate, judging by his fragrance. He salivated, licking his lips, and a drop of spittle landed on the surface of the desk, making Pedro flinch. Milton gave Chester a stern look and he backed off, grinning apologetically. He scooted his chair back and nibbled on Jackie with his lips instead, massaging her in his hand as she returned his affection. 

Ignoring the display behind Pedro, Milton began the interview. “So, Pedro, do you think you’ll be able to handle working on the giant side of town? I know it’s not easy for a human. We’ve had this position available for a while, and I think you’re the first applicant who’s gotten this far without backing out.” 

“Y-yes, I think so,” Pedro confirmed. He coughed, and tried to exude more confidence than he was feeling. “I can handle this. And I think I’m a good fit for the job. I have some experience working with children, in my previous position as a social worker. I have the skills necessary.” 

“That’s great!” Milton replied with a comforting smile. “Basically, we just need a point of contact for the human students to go to, if they need help.  Someone that can check in on each student periodically, make sure they are doing okay. Somebody they would feel comfortable talking to, who is... approachable.” He sighed, creating a big gust of wind. “I do my best, but... I am still a giant. I’m not always the most accessible to a new student when I’m the big guy on campus, both in a bureaucratic sense and when I’m literally hundreds of times their physical size. That’s where you come in.” 

Pedro leapt to his feet and nodded, eyes fiery with passion. “I’ll be your man, sir!” 

“Excellent!” Milton answered. “Now, in terms of accommodations... currently, we don’t provide housing for staff. I suppose if you want, you could stay in the boy's dormitory...” 

“Ugh... I think I’ll pass on that,” Pedro said. “I can just... commute. I’ll figure something out.” He paled slightly, remembering his prior adventure on the way to the school. What was he getting himself into? 

“Alright.” Milton scrutinized him with an intense look. “Will you be okay? Would you like me to at least take you back to the wall for today?” 

“That would be appreciated, thanks.” The giant offered him his hand, easily bigger than his dining room table. Pedro gulped, hesitating. As much as he had fantasized about giants, being faced with one in real life was still very intimidating. His heart thumped hard against his ribs as he forced his body to move, climbing up into the colossal hand. He commended himself for being brave, even as his stomach lurched when the giant stood up. 

“Chester, can I trust you not to eat anyone while I’m gone?” Milton questioned seriously. Pedro blanched. 

“I’ll keep him in check,” Jackie assured him, nudging Chester in the chest with her elbow. Chester grinned mischievously. Milton shook his head with exasperation and walked out. Pedro remained silent for a while before he finally mustered up the courage to speak. 

“Is that something I need to worry about?” he piped up timidly. 

“Hm?” Milton had been lost in thought, worrying about having Chester at his house around Millie. 

“Being... eaten?” Pedro clarified with a shudder. 

“Oh no... that’s not too common around here. That giant I was speaking to is a bit of an exception. Most giants don’t eat people,” Milton explained. “Just... exercise caution when you’re around strangers.” He grimaced. Too many humans in his life had been menaced by cruel giants for him to forget such unpleasant matters. Pedro was unnerved by the implication that “most” giants didn’t eat people, not “all,” but he let it go for now. After all, there were humans living just fine on this side of the wall. 

Traveling by giant was much faster for Pedro than walking on his tiny human legs, so they reached the wall swiftly. Milton released him to the ground next to the door. Even when crouching down, he towered over the smaller man. “Don’t be afraid to reach out to me for help,” Milton said. “If you need me to come pick you up to take you to your new job, I don’t mind. It’s not significantly out of the way for me.” 

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” Pedro responded. “See you Monday then? Since today is Friday?” 

“Yes, we’ll get you onboarded Monday,” Milton confirmed with a gentle smile. “See you then!” He stood back up, his head reaching the heavens. Pedro gaped with amazement as he stared upwards. The gargantuan man gave a friendly wave as he ambled off, quaking the ground with every step, until his lofty figure disappeared beyond the curve of the horizon. Pedro stood for a moment, taking in the scenery of the giant landscape. The scope of everything was mind-boggling, yet he was excited to embark on a new adventure. His dreams were coming true. 

He retreated back to the human side, passing through the small door and the tunnel through the wall. As he left, he thought about the handsome giant cop who had helped him. Ray. Why had he left before Pedro even had a chance to ask him for his number? Pedro lamented his cruel fortune, to meet the giant only to have him vanish in a flash. He probably had no chance of ever seeing him again. Honestly, he probably had no chance with him romantically anyway. Pedro was likely chasing an impossible fantasy. Yet, Pedro was head over heels, and he wasn’t the type to give up easily. He would find a way. 

Meanwhile, as Milton returned to the school, he pulled out his cellphone and called his girlfriend Millie. She answered right away. “Milton! Why are you calling now? Is everything alright?” 

“Don’t worry, everything is fine, my love. Um... I’ve invited some guests over to stay the night, if that’s okay.” 

There was a long silence from the other end of the line. “Who? Giants?” Millie sounded scared. She had made a lot of progress with warming up to friendly giants like Joey, but strangers still made her skittish. Milton mentally chastised himself. He should’ve checked with her before giving permission to Chester. However, imagining Chester staying out all night without supervision, with no place to stay or food to eat to suppress his appetite, filled him with just as much concern. 

“Yes. A giant man named Chester, and his human wife Jackie. They’ve traveled a long way to meet me, for they wish to enroll their half-human son at my school. However, they have nowhere to sleep for the night, so I opened our home to them.” 

“I see. O-okay. It sounds safe enough.” Millie was uncertain, but she trusted her giant boyfriend to protect her. Milton omitted the fact that Chester went to Maneaters Anonymous with him: He didn’t want to burden Millie with unnecessary details that would frighten her more. He would keep her safe, without a doubt. 

“I’ll see you tonight, my little ray of sunshine,” Milton cooed, and hung up the phone. He returned to his office to find Chester still sitting in the same chair, obediently waiting for him. 

“See, I didn’t eat anyone,” Chester announced proudly. “Even if the smell of all these humans is... irresistible...” He slopped his tongue across his lips, drooling profusely. 

“Are all the giants like this, where you’re from?” Milton asked. Chester was always evasive when discussing his homeland, and Milton suspected he was hiding a secret, but he was considerate enough not to pry at the meetings. However, with Chester now in his personal office, and staying the night at his home, he felt it would be appropriate to ask more probing questions. 

“Yup,” Chester proclaimed. 

“Unfortunately,” Jackie sighed. 

“That must make things difficult for you, Jackie,” Milton remarked, redirecting his attention to include her in the conversation. 

“Yeah, though I have Chester here to shield me from harm. I am more worried about our son. I can always return to the human realm—erm, I mean, where the humans live. I can’t take our son with me, for he is far too large and will frighten others. So, his life among the giants has been very sheltered and isolated. It’s been causing quite a strain on all of us, lately, as he grows older and wants to spread his wings. I just want the best for him. I want him to be happy and have a bright future ahead of him.” 

“I see.” Milton pondered her words. “We’ll do the best we can, to foster a nurturing and welcoming environment for him here. I promise you that.” 

“Thank you,” Jackie replied. Just then, the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. The giant students, whooping and hollering, rushed out of their classrooms in a stampede, in anticipation for the weekend. The human students weren’t far behind, racing along the marked pathways on their bicycles. Chester watched the humans with an unfaltering predatory intensity that unsettled Milton. He sensed, under pressing circumstances, Chester could be a very dangerous giant to humans, even when he was trying so hard to be good. He hoped he wouldn’t regret bringing him around his precious little Millie. His anxiety was spiking as he considered what could go wrong. He wouldn’t be able to forgive Chester if he attempted to eat Millie. He’d kill Chester before he’d let that happen. 

He waited for the halls to clear out before guiding his guests out of his office, locking the door behind him for the weekend. He led the way, keeping a close eye on Chester as the other giant followed. Chester was calm, caressing Jackie with his thumb as he walked. He seemed to be doing okay with his cravings. Milton decided he would prepare a hearty meat dish for Chester as soon as he got home. He’d keep Millie close. Everything would be fine; he was worrying over nothing. Right? 

Chapter 16

Chapter 1

[splattermouth]

Actually, I've more questions: you mentioned that Volo and Val eventually got to collecting the plates— what exactly got the ball rolling with that? Was it related to the spooky plate, or was it something else?

And how did those two collecting the plates interfere with the overall mission of the kids that Arceus sent?

What exactly does Missingno do to a person that it possesses? Like, how does it affect the very essence of their being and then some? (This is kind of a self-indulgent question, you don't have to answer if you don't want to since I also have a Missingno oc and went into detail for that bc I love existentialism)

I think them trying to collect the plates was something they were always trying to do. (And by always, I mean once Val breaks down and admits to Volo he thinks Arceus sent him to Hisui. Volo might have already been plate hunting by this point, knowing they had Some ties to Arceus, but I don’t think he’d met Giratina just yet. Val falls months/maybe half a year before the rift opens up over Mount Coronet after all. Sorry the timeline for all these different events is still screwy and nebulous, I’m still piecing things together myself lol)

And I’m also not sure how much the kids interfere atm honestly! Rei and Akari, friends from another time, both take the role of the player character, but I don’t think Val would encounter them all that much to have a strong opinion on them. He thinks they’re normal sweet kids, not like they did anything wrong being sent here. Volo interacts with them the usual amount, nothing out of the ordinary. 

Because of that, I don’t think the confrontation with Volo at Spear Pillar happens either, at least not traditionally. Like I think Rei and Akari are the ones to close the rift and calm Dialga/Palkia, but I don’t think any Volo postgame happens with them. I think that’s a Val and Volo thing. You could interpret that as Missingno’s presence altering the current timeline and throwing the plot into whack, and that’s a fun thought, but idk. I think it’s more just Val ends up having to deal with Volo’s delusions instead of the kids. Like atm, I think Rei and Akari’s presence is mostly fuel for Volo’s gradually degrading morals. 

AND AAH I’ve actually just recently talked about what Missingno IS and how it works in relation to The Horror That Came to Hisui here!

But long story short, Missingno are either scrapped ‘content’ or mutations/aberrations that occur through spacetime distortions and tears. Dialga and Palkia generally clean up these holes in reality pretty quick, but not always quick enough to prevent anomalies from settling in. 

Missingno thrive in corrupted environments. The young and fresh, carefully crafted world Arceus is currently watching over is built so there is no room and no way for It's old, unfinished, generally broken creations such as Missingno to thrive. But Arceus is not a Perfect god, and It has not built a Perfect world, and with a suitable host, a Missingno can get a foot in the door. The longer it stays with a host, the more powerful it gets, and the harder it is to dispel. Like how the longer you hold onto and use glitches and glitch pokemon in game, the more at risk you are for the whole experience to fall apart.

Anyway, Missingno doesn’t necessarily Possess a person (even though i technically say that a lot it doesnt it doesnt im sorry i misled you im pedantic), it more steadily Fuses with a person. The Missingno’s personality and ideals become one with the host’s, and in most cases, an entirely new ‘being’ is made. In Val and Missingno’s case: Jacred. Jacred is gleeful and fun-loving and unwittingly cruel, but also very much still loves Volo like Val loved him. And in knowing Volo’s desire to understand the universe around him and his place in it, Jacred will routinely show Volo things he did not at all ever want to know about the world he inhabits. It’s fun. Jacred really did say ‘know the unknowable, boy’ <3

Physically, Missingno naturally warps and distorts the body in odd ways. Smiles and eyes can seem too big, limbs and necks appear stretched, skin sometimes seems prehensile? Skin that shifts and ripples and ‘moves’ on its own. A host's movements sometimes come with afterimages. Colors and lighting on the host can appear unnatural, too bright or too dull. Physical contact with the host brings slight, but still sharp static sensations. Sometimes portions of the body seem to ‘bleed’ and blur together. All of these distortions happen randomly, and all for split seconds at a time. Blink and you miss it occurrences. Making those nearby wonder if any of what they saw was even real. If Missingno is corrupting the host or simply ones own vision.

And again, the longer Missingno remains in it’s host, the more it fuses with them- the more frequent and extreme the distortions become, the more it’s able to affect the environment around it and the people and pokemon that inhabit it.

I distinctly remember reading a comment on some video about pokemon glitches, and it described how when a glitch pokemon did enough damage to its opponent, the sprite of said opponent would look like it’d just been ‘shattered’, and i think abt that a Lot in relation to Jacred tbh. I will not elaborate on what that could possibly mean for Jacred OR for Volo.

[coldwayhome]

IS IT CASUAL NOW? piper mclean.

synopsis: in which you're "casual" with piper mclean.

tags: 16+ ONLY!!!! suggestive content ahead. mentions of hookups & drinking, both parties are over 21. no graphic nsfw written. some angst & fighting. no set gender, but relationship is implied to be wlw.

notes: soo self indulgent i hope you enjoy <33

✧˚ · .

10:36. she's late.

you paced around the lawn, waiting for her to pull into your driveway. she said 10:30, but she's always running late. you can't blame her for it, she's busy. that's what she tells you at least.

headlights flared, and piper's white jeep speedily pulled up to you.

she asks if you're ready to go, and you feel yourself smile at the sound of her voice. she has you wrapped around her finger (whether she knows it or not).

driving to her apartment is a quick 10 minutes, but feels like ages with her hand tracing your thigh. getting inside her door is better, you think. at least she looks at you.

laying in bed with piper at night was nice. she's sweet to you, kissing the dark purple bruises and wrapping her arms around you when you need it.

but it always made you question things. question things like: what are we? what do you think of me? do you think we'll grow old together?

and when do you know if it's stopped being casual— when you've moved in? it's not like you could ask her, because she just smiles and changes the subject. everyone thinks you're dating and you don't have the heart to correct them. it's nice to think about.

✧˚ · .

you're staring at your disheveled self in the mirror and think: sometimes, you wish you never met her.

what would life be like without piper? this situation with her has been going on for half a year, and she's still shown you no semblance of an official answer.

it doesn't help that you argued in the car. it was about something insignificant to both of you, but you knew there was something beneath the surface she was actually mad about. you chose to not bring it up, and say nothing but a short farewell when you were dropped back off at your house.

✧˚ · .

she says she hates you.

but it's just that she knows your coffee order by heart. and it's just that the passenger seat is adjusted to your liking. and it's just that you've met her parents.

but it's just that that you can see a future with her, and you know she can too.

so you call her. she doesn't pick up at first, but she calls back a few minutes later.

she's guarded; you don't usually call her.

you ask how she is, she says she's fine. you know she's not.

you just want to talk; doesn’t end well.

what, to check on her? she’s fine, don’t call her again.

✧˚ · .

2:12. a text from piper. two words, if you can even call it that.

you up?

no response from you.

three minutes later:

baby please

m sorry

miss u

she’s drunk, for sure. she only gets drunk when she’s trying to drown her feelings. aka, when she knows she fucked up. gods.

you grab your phone to text her: where are you?

no response.

you don’t really have to ask though. if she’s this drunk, she’s at home. hopping in your car with no time for bluetooth, the radio blares whatever station you left it on last. there were no thoughts circling you head other than her.

pushing the door open, you march into piper’s fancy apartment. there she is, sniffling on the floor with her emptied cup of coke & rum that was most likely refilled a couple times.

seeing your face, she attempts to get up off the carpet where she was sitting, but ends up falling over. rushing to her side, you pull her into an embrace and rest on the floor with her.

“i love you.” she slurs.

“stop.” you say, silencing her but not pushing her off.

✧˚ · .

you say won’t live in delusion. you say you hate her. you say piper mclean does not love you.

you, of all people, know that’s not true.

but you have no interest in talking to her about it.

ITS HARD BEING CASUAL WHEN MY FAVORITE BRA IS IN YOUR DRESSER 📢📢🗣️🗣️‼️‼️

where are the piper stans…

[cumaeansibyl]

Okay, first off, I don't have much time for Tim Burton once the year 2000 rolls around. I miss the days when he was actually good and not a self-indulgent mess. Happens to lots of creatives once they get successful enough that people are afraid to tell them no, it's a shame.

But I'm not gonna sit here and listen to this slander about Ed Wood, okay? Like... saying that it erased the crossdressing? There are several references in the film to Wood's crossdressing, including the whole bit where he goes into a producer's office and tells him "I can direct this movie about a trans woman because I'm a crossdresser," and then proceeds to create... whatever the fuck Glen or Glenda was), and the cast party where he dresses as a "harem girl" and all his friends cheer him on. The scene where he dresses in drag for a day on set is accurate to his real life; he often directed in drag. I didn't think the point of that scene was terribly obscure, since he as much as declares that he is taking back control of "his picture" from the investors, and then shows up in the angora sweater.

(I think it's important to mention here that Wood always insisted he was 100% a heterosexual man, and indeed I don't think we have any reason to believe otherwise. I wouldn't be surprised if he understood himself to belong to the queer community in some way, but he was straight and cis.)

Ed Wood definitely softpedals Wood's alcoholism, which contributed heavily to the breakup of that first relationship. Dolores Fuller objected to the movie because she felt she was being painted as an intolerant harpy, when she mainly left because of Wood's drinking. Burton made the decision to write out that part of Wood's life because he was telling a story about a man who faced difficulties due to his idiosyncratic artistic vision. He ends the film with a wildly successful movie premiere that definitely never happened, and with Wood celebrated in a way he never was during his lifetime.

Also, I'm sorry, but you know what, Ed Wood was a failed director with delusions of grandeur. I have seen multiple Ed Wood movies and they are terrible. His work was cheap and sloppy, his use of stock footage was borderline plagiarism, and his dialogue was risible. He spent the last years of his life writing porn novels, getting evicted a lot, and beating his wife, and he died of drink at 54. Again, the movie was a lot kinder to him than it could've been.

He isn't the worst director I've ever encountered -- that would probably be Coleman Francis -- but boy, is he bad. Don't get me wrong, an Ed Wood movie is always a fun time. But please let's not try to rewrite history to make him a misunderstood genius because he super wasn't.

Forever baffled by the fact that Tim Burton is still thought of as a defender of oddness. He treats monsters as things to be gawked at, to be drawn and imagined, then put away in a safe little box. He doesn't love monsters, he loves freak shows.

[whatifaltsdream]

This is my self-insert oc. Their name is Murmur. 

Their backstory ranges from entirely self-indulgent to more in-line with canon.

 The Canon backstory: They were an orphan that later became a Khaenri’an alchemist. When Khaenri’ah was cursed, they became an abyss mage (geo). Sometime later, they mysteriously broke free from their curse and is wandering around Teyvet. 

The Self-Indulgent backstory: They’re somewhat similar to Alice, since they came from another world and treat Teyvet somewhat precariously, having prior knowledge about some events. Murmur isn’t the only one of this caliber, extending to some other people too. When Khaenri’ah is destroyed by Celestia, many of these friends escaped and ended up reincarnating 500 years later, with Murmur as Ayato (With the others reincarnating as other vision wielders). 

In either AU, they’re called the “Jack of All Trades”, able to do a lot of miscellaneous things, but never really had a specialty to call their own. I imagine them being friends with Rhinedottir, Alice, and the like, possibly helping to “teach” Albedo more mundane things. 

They wield the Geo element. They don’t have a geo vision, instead something similar called an “elusion”, a vision knock-off similar to Snezhnaya’s delusions that aim to wield the power of the elements without the Gods’ will. It’s a lot more stable than a delusion, but ended up defying the Heavenly Principles. 

They have a white-gold color palette, with brown hair, tan skin, and a gold-bronze color eyes (with or without diamonds? I’m not too sure...). I’m sorry I can’t show it, I’m not too adept (heh) at doing color palettes. I tried to make it so that their design is close to actual genshin models (no big flowing sleeves, no baggy pants below the knee, etc.) Their elusion is on their belt. 

I’ll maybe post more about them. 

[maybe-limerence]

Darling types and their least compatible (and most dangerous) Yandere

✄ ❥ A N Y O N E-Bizarre-Seeking

Ok. Nope. No one would want their teeth or nails removed. Even the most f*cked up darlings don’t want that. Whoever simps for them is a liar and cannot be trusted. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Manipulative-Dependable

They. Would. Hate. Each. Other. Manipulative’s tactics wouldn’t work on Dependable, and Dependable would soon realize that Darling must be in control at all times to be happy, and with their nature? Yeah.. no. Pass. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Tired-Dependent

Darling, poor poor thing, is too tired to take care of their dependent yandere. Dependent would misread their Darling’s tiredness as hatred. That would end up with Tired more tired, and Dependent in a worse place. ‘Why do you hate me?!’ Dependent would cry. ‘I don’t hate you, I’m just tired’. Tired would sigh, having gone through this about 50 times. Just today. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Feisty-Protective

The fight in darling would NOT go well with yandere’s protective nature. ‘I’m just trying to protect you!’ the yandere would chant. Darling would merely glare, considering yandere has them tied up and gagged. Protective would not have Feisty’s spirt. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Innocent-Self/indulgent

The yandere would hurt their darling in a way even they regret. Innocent wouldn’t understand what’s happening and it would leave them hurt and not know why. If Darling understands what’s happening.. poor thing. Poor, poor thing. Yandere would notice. Their toy isn’t doing anything. They’ve become.. sad? They’re not eating, barely drinking, not taking care of themselves. They’ve become a shell of a being. Overall, not a good pairing.

✄ ❥ Docile-Lucid(?)

Darling’s docile nature would feed Lucid to becoming delusional. ‘Darling thinks this is ok? Really? Then I must be doing something right!’ Docile would eventually get scared (who wouldn’t? With how bad yandere’s delusions are getting anyone would be). Overall, not a good pairing.

A/N:

Woah, two posts in one day, crazy. THIS WAS NOT PROOFREAD (same with the other) I JUST DID (it in 30 minutes) THIS CAUSE I WAS BORED AND IT’S KINDA SLOPPY, SORRY.

[thekimspoblog]

I can't help but empathize with Chuck's sentiment that "people can't change". Like yes, Slippin' Jimmy/Saul Goodman was in many ways a self-fulfilling prophesy. But at the same time, I don't think it's as simple as "Jimmy wouldn't be pulling these kinds of stunts if his brother didn't put him in a box". On many occasions, we've seen how Jimmy doesn't need much provocation before he resorts to rule-breaking to get what he wants. Even if the world is unfairly prejudiced against Jimmy, I can understand where Chuck is coming from, that a more level-headed person wouldn't lash out so readily. I can't help but think of real world examples of other public figures who act entitled to a second-chance at wielding power, when most of us haven't even been given a first chance. The problem is that whether or not Jimmy deserves the trust of the public after everything that happened in Illinois, Chuck is in no position to make that call; he bends the rules to get his way too.

Chuck's psychiatrist asks Jimmy if him turning off the lights is "helping or enabling?" and I come down pretty firmly on the side of the latter. Sure, in the moment Jimmy doesn't want Chuck to be in pain; I'm sure he was being genuine about that. But on some level, Jimmy knows that the electricity isn't what's hurting Chuck; the flirtations with malpractice are what's exacerbating the problem, and yet Jimmy went ahead and did the billboard stunt anyway. Now he's sorry about the inevitable negative way Chuck was going to react. Jimmy knows EHS is probably bullshit, but still he races around the room as if he believes it just as fervently as Chuck does, because indulging the delusions is easier than changing his behavior. It's pretty obvious that this is a short-term solution which is ultimately just making the problem worse. In "Breaking Bad" it was pretty obvious that Walt was lying to himself when he said he did everything for his family. But Jimmy's psychology muddies it even further. Chuck is clearly a control-freak, and the EHS symptoms were a symptom of that. But by claiming that he's doing this for his brother, Jimmy's able to justify his own compulsive need to control his environment. By claiming to do something for the sake of making a loved one happy, Jimmy is able to avoid asking himself the hard questions about... responsibility, and identity, and loneliness and shit. And it drives me nuts that Season 6 ended with this major defining character flaw about him unresolved; Chuck tells Jimmy to keep him away from all electricity. That's not what Chuck really needs, but Jimmy does it. Kim tells Jimmy to turn himself in; Jimmy does it (albeit indirectly).

God

My BCS rewatch is really hitting me with how genuinely shitty chucks behavior is.

Like I always knew it was but I'm really picking up on the little things yk

Like jimmy rushing to the hospital after finding out from HOWARD that Chuck has been admitted because Chuck doesn't have Jimmy's number anywhere. Running in and frantically turning off everything that is electric, freaking grabbing the fluorescent lights with his hands bc he genuinely loves his brother and knows he's in pain

All for Chuck to wake up, have a passive aggressive attitude towards jimmy, and make a shitty joke about jimmy stealing the doctors wallet because of his struggles in the past

To which jimmy has to pretend it's funny with a sad little smile.

Um ok nice.

Then jimmy frantically trying to explain the build board stunt, trying to tell Chuck that slippin jimmy ain't back so this shithead can just say "well see"

OK chuck mcgrilled

Gets me so fired up

Stg this man absolutely wanted Jimmy's downfall. Eugh. I've lived thru this sorta thing. My anger? Immense.

[kiiboslostahoge]

Childe hcs bc I can

Hey guys, sorry for being inactive lately! I've been feeling kinda burned out with Genshin(Weird mental health situation and endgame stuff) but I'll try to be more active in the future. Anyways, hope you enjoy this self-indulgent shizz 🖤

Lee. Wears the mask of a tickle monster, but Lee. Capital L.

He's the kind of person to deny being ticklish. Even when squirming and laughing. Even when it's his own siblings.

Childe is this 'Perfect weapon' so nobody ever touches him making tickling kinda confusing for him bc he's super sensitive but also high-key touch starved Lee.

Additionally, the fact that he, this 'abyssal monster' has such a silly weakness and LIKES IT embarrasses him SO much. He loves hates teases for this exact reason.

He has wrecked everyone he's friends or closer with at some point in the past. Even Lumine. I do not take constructive criticism.

Scariest ler in existence, okay? He has an electro delusion and an agile build, he ain't even gonna bother with the death spots, but if he does...

RIP RANDOM LEE XXXX-XXXX

All fun and games for the incarnate of the tickle monster till he gets a taste of his own medicine

One time, a treasure hoarder ended up actually managing to take his bow by tickling his ribs(The poor treasure hoarder was dared to do this by their friends. They did not make it out alive oop-)

Everyone knows this, but he laughs like a little girl and the twins think it's hilarious. Aether never gets to hear it tho, Childe always wrecks him

One time, Childe's delusion strikes were getting too fast, so Lumine grabbed him by the shoulder blades. Childe giggled. The knowledge that her grip back then was weak enough to tickle someone haunts her to this day yet Childe's weakness provides her with all the billet drops and artifacts she wants

Then, there's the fatui

His subordinates don't tickle him that much bc they know what happened to that one treasure hoarder(Tbf, no one wants to be tickled by a complete stranger in the middle of the fight)

The harbingers and the Tsaritsa, on the other hand...

The goddess herself looks at him, the guy who mastered all weapons other than the bow at 14, and sees 'baby'

Most people can't be with him for 15 minutes without fearing for their lives, but to the harbingers(not signora), he's like a toddler with a simultaneously masochist and sadistic streak

Summary: Get rekt Childe

Scaramouche acts like a total tsundere towards him. The sixth gets rekt alllll the time, but sometimes he wrecks Childe back. Additionally, sometimes Scaramouche just wants to make someone suffer, but Pierro or the Tsaritsa warn him not to torture more recruits.

Screw it, I'm going full-on crazy. Sometimes Pulcinella, the fifth tickled him as a kinda punishment because 1. Childe thought that the pain would help improve his self-control and therefore wants to push his limits(Dont tell me you want a little kid telling about getting beaten up by Mitachurl while you're just following procedures) and 2. He sees Childe as a little brother and can't bring himself to hurt him ~Ehe~

Signora is in denial. She is desperately trying to convince herself he's just some monster from the abyss(So is Childe himself, honey. You ain't special) Said 'delusion' is not helped by Childe screeching like a girl because Scaramouche was feeling particularly angry. One day, she will poke him in the side, she just needs to work through the real hatred first.

Then there's Zhongli.

Where do I even start?

This man has DRAGON TONGUE, THE RASBERRIES HE CAN GIVE-

Chronological order, ig

Childe always teased Zhongli for being so uptight, and one day he just pokes Zhongli's side

Minimal reaction, but he's a harbinger, and most of all, Scaramouche's coworker. Gotta read between the lines

From then on, he starts wrecking our dear consultant. Gotta make the uptight man laugh somehow, amrita?

One day, Zhongli pokes him in the side not thinking he's actually gonna be ticklish. Childe was ticklish.

That day, the feared harbinger squealed like a little girl, brought down by the lightest touches.

Now, Zhpngli has two forms of vengeance

When Zhongli's feeling gentle(Most of the time) he just gently massages the hips of our dear harbinger. Enough to elicit those kinda asmr-ish giggles, yannow, those kinda held in ones? Those, and they are so cuute oml like bucket list-

Other time, massage the hips and give the ribs dragon-tongue raspberries. Childe's gotta have more lives than a cat, cuz hes died sooo many times 💕

In summary: Childe scawy ler, blushy lee. Tyy for coming to my ted talk.

[ophelia-writes]

//INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS BELOW!!

a/n: ok so the scaramouche brainrot has been REAL, i’m so glad that i finally got to meet him in game (i joined after 1.1 sobs so i didn’t get to see him in unreconciled stars) but uh basically i’ve been thinking about him nonstop all week. he’s been in my dreams. he will not leave me alone. so i’ve decided to write more self indulgent fanfiction of him adjsjskhgfh enjoy <3

brave or stupid - scaramouche x gn!reader

warnings: slight violence, mentions of death

he had always been like this— callous, unfeeling, and cruel. after all, when you’re created as a toy that’s designed to be discarded, you’re bound to have a bit of bitterness.

but, to be honest, scaramouche wasn’t sure if he was even capable of kindness. sure, he could be polite to people from time to time if he wanted something from them, and he always showed respect towards the tsaritsa. but he would never show kindness for kindness’s sake. that just wasn’t his style.

besides, he wasn’t even human himself, so why should he care for human lives or emotions? they would be dead before he knew it, there was no point in trying to consider their feelings. he was a superior being, above the needs and trials of mortals. he should be able to do as he pleased.

so why, why did you intrigue him so much?

just a lowly, powerless human, with no vision or delusion, no special abilities to set you apart. and yet, you’d put your life on the line for just about anyone, despite not having the power or means to defend yourself, caring not for your own safety. what kind of idiot were you, exactly?

here you were, throwing yourself in front of the merchant scaramouche had been planning to fry for neglecting his debts. you were small, perhaps even smaller than him, with nothing but a stick in your hands. the sight was hardly threatening, and he would have killed you in an instant if it weren’t for the unwavering look of determination in your eyes. there was something different about you, he realized. something he rarely ever had the chance to see.

you weren’t afraid of him.

you, a weak, powerless mortal without even a sword to protect yourself, showed no fear in the presence of the sixth fatui harbinger himself. and scaramouche couldn’t decide if that made you incredibly brave, or incredibly moronic.

probably the latter.

rolling his eyes, scaramouche lowered his electro-infused hands and placed them firmly on his hips. “get lost, rat, before i kill you too,” he ordered, looking you straight in those big, determined eyes. but you refused to back down.

“do it, then,” you replied, gritting your teeth. you gripped the stick tighter in your hands and pulled your scarf down from your head, letting your hair flow freely. if you were going to die today, so be it, but you wouldn’t stand by and let this man terrorize your village.

scaramouche blinked. he had never seen someone with such a blatant disregard for their own life. in a way, you were like the opposite of himself— weak, kind, and selfless. looking at your small, bundled up form, gripping the stick like it was a mystical polearm forged by the gods, glaring daggers at him, he couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“hahaha! ahahahaha! god, i can’t tell if you’re bold or just stupid!” the harbinger took a step forward, the psychotic grin on his face never fading. but you stand your ground. “you know, i really don’t understand why you would risk your life for someone like this. i mean, you’re a pretty little thing,” he began, his violet eyes tracing over your features, “surely you must have more to live for?”

you frowned. “it’s not about me, it’s about the people i’m trying to protect,” you replied, casting a glance to the merchant and his family behind you. out of the corner of your eye, you could see him huddled against the wall, his small daughter gripping his arm while his wife held two other children to her chest. you weren’t about to let him kill these innocent people!

“why bother?” scaramouche asked, waving his hand dismissively. “they’re going to die anyways, it’s not like you can stop me.”

you bit your lip. he was right, of course— you had no vision, no sword. and even if you did… you would be nothing compared to a harbinger. but that wouldn’t stop you from trying. “i won’t leave them,” you finally replied.

scaramouche wasn’t laughing anymore. in fact, he himself wasn’t quite sure when his amusement turned into annoyance, but what he did know was that you were making him angry. “why…. why? this is a pointless waste of life, a worthless sacrifice— you know you can’t stop me, so WHY?” the air around him was now crackling with electro energy, and you could feel it.

still, you showed no fear.

“because, unlike you, i actually care about other people! i wouldn’t be able to live with myself if i just stood by and did nothing while those around me are struck down by the tsaritsa’s stupid lapdogs!” you were shouting now. you kind of had to, the electricity in the air making your ears ring and your head fill with static.

that was the last straw.

scaramouche let out an irritated growl, sending a wave of electric shock towards you with a sweeping motion of his hand. the impact threw you backwards, your petite form landing limply in the snow.

the harbinger looked down on you, heaving with rage. how had he let such a stupid mortal get him riled up like this? he should have just killed you when you had first gotten in his way. eyes narrowing, he crouched down and took your wrist to check your pulse.

then your knee collided with his face.

“agh, you—!” scaramouche raised his hand to his jaw, holding the spot where you had struck him. it was definitely going to leave a bruise, and scaramouche did not like looking weak. you quickly picked yourself up out of the snow, scrambling to your feet. you frantically looked around for your stick (not that it would do you much good), but it had flown far out of reach when scaramouche’s attack hit you. “how…. how dare you assault a harbinger?” he asked, his voice laced with anger.

you shrugged. “you assaulted me first.”

scaramouche’s eyes flashed bright violet, another surge of electro gathering in his hands. “alright, enough playing around. it’s time i finish you, for real this time.” your eyes settled on the sadistic smile that had formed on his pale face, likely the last face you would ever see.

still, you showed no fear. “go ahead,” you replied. “i’ll gladly die the hero who managed to kick a harbinger in the face.”

scaramouche narrowed his eyes. you were the most audacious mortal he had ever met.

you raised your head and looked the balladeer right in the face and said one last prayer to the archons. please protect this village when i’m gone.

and with that, a flash of purple filled your vision, casting a brilliant lilac glow over the snowy sneznayan terrain.

ahh! sorry for the cliffhanger/bleak ending but rest assured there will be more parts hehehe <3 hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!!

taglist: @kazuhasbiggestsimp @mrsugawara @xiaos-wife @xiaoslilpogchamp

if you want to be added to my scara taglist or specifically just the taglist for this fic, comment and i’ll make sure to add you <3

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Belonging

Mammon x gn!MC

Words - 4606

Content warnings - lots of angst, insecure MC, Mammon is an ass at first ‘cause he’s a tsundere

Prompt/inspiration - self indulgent comfort piece

Summary - That one time when Mammon’s tsundere tendencies broke your heart.

AO3

You had been so stupid. So foolish. So naive.

When you first met Mammon, he took your breath away. You had never seen someone just so...beautiful. It was an honest to goodness love at first sight moment, something that you didn’t even believe possible until then. Yeah he seemed a little harsh, but you convinced yourself it was just because he was shy and easily embarrassed. As soon as he got to know you better, you were sure he’d calm down a bit and open up to you.

It was slow going though. Just when you had started thinking you had finally managed to become friends with him, something would happen that would send you back to square one again. For every step forward you took, you would inevitably take 3 steps back.

But after a while, things did eventually seem to be going your way. He’d come over for movie nights. You were allowed to hang out in his room. He no longer stuttered out excuses when he would walk you to and from RAD. You had started to feel comfortable. Like maybe everything in your shitty life up until now might have actually been worth it because finally, FINALLY you had someone who genuinely enjoyed being around you.

Until today, that is, when you were not-so-gently reminded of your place.

The night began like any other Friday evening - a movie night with Mammon, Beel, and Levi. Everyone had gathered in Mammon’s room, snacks were plentiful, and you were getting to sit next to Mammon. As the movie progressed, you casually adjusted your position so that you could hold his hand. But as soon as your palm touched his and he realized what you were doing, he pulled back and yelled at you.

“What the hell are ya doing?!”

If it wasn’t for the look on his face, you would have sworn he was embarrassed. Instead, there was no doubt in your mind just how disgusted he was at the idea of you touching him. You didn’t notice when the movie was paused. Or when the lights were turned on. All you could see were his eyes boring into yours. Looking like he wanted to vomit on the spot at the very idea of having ever been close to you.

“Umm...I...just…” you stumbled over your words, unsure what to say. What could you even say? He knew you had tried to hold his hand. And that’s all there was to it. You made a move, the wrong one, and he rejected you.

“Sorry...I’ll umm...just go…” was all you managed to finally get out, as you made a mad dash to your room. Your cheeks were burning with shame, and tears pricking at your eyes.

How could you have been so arrogant? Thinking someone could actually be interested in a person like you. This wasn’t your home. These weren’t your friends. They weren’t your family. You didn’t belong here. You didn’t belong anywhere. You had let yourself get comfortable, indulging your delusions and fantasies and ignoring all the many warning signs that you weren’t actually wanted here.

Even though Mammon was your official Guardian, the rest of the brothers still did their part to make sure you survived your year in one piece. And you had mistaken this courtesy as actual kindness. If anyone had been nice to you, it was out of obligation or pity. You were so desperate to believe you had finally found a place of your own that you let yourself be tricked into thinking demons would actually care about you.

You should have known better. It’s not like you hadn’t had this experience before. People who tolerated you and then at the first available opportunity cut you from their lives. You knew there was something wrong with you, there had to be, for as many times as this had happened. But since no one stuck around very long at all, you honestly had no idea what that might be. If someone would have just told you, you would have fixed it.

By the time you had made it to the safety of your room, your tears had already started to fall in large, heavy drops. You didn’t make a sound. You were too numb to even sob. You just laid down on your bed, facing the wall, and cried. If you could even call it crying. It was more like tears just poured from your eyes. You didn’t even know it was possible to cry that many tears, yet here you were - soaking your pillow, unable to stop the flow.

At some point, you had managed to get your breathing under control. And then, even your tears dried up. You turned to lay on your back, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out where you should go from here. You still had to make it through the rest of the year, and you had to find some way of doing that peacefully. Maybe if you talked to Lucifer he would assign you a different Guardian? You didn’t really want a different Guardian though, but you doubted you would be able to emotionally handle spending any more time with Mammon. Especially since every time you closed your eyes you could still see that look on his face.

After weighing your options you decided the only thing for you to do really was to put on a happy face. You’d be polite to anyone that talked to you, but you were going to be smart this time. You were going to keep your distance. Not just from Mammon, but from everyone else too.

There was no point in giving yourself the chance to believe you actually could make any friends here. Doubtless it would end up the same way. So you were going to do the minimum - go to RAD, come back to your room, and stay in your room until it was time to leave for RAD again, only leaving with the exception of meal times. No more movie nights, or gaming tournaments, or shopping trips, or restaurant tours. You were just going to keep to yourself and...survive.

————

Breakfast the following morning was oddly quiet. Beel, Mammon, and Levi kept exchanging looks, but you pretended you didn’t notice and just focused on your meal. You had found a comfortable sense of numbness since the previous night, and had now more or less come to terms with the fact you weren’t wanted here and had gotten carried away.

Lucifer had needed to head out a bit earlier to attend a before school meeting with Lord Diavolo, so you asked if you could walk with him instead. He raised an eyebrow at your unexpected request, but thankfully didn’t ask any additional questions. Of all the brothers he was actually the one you were most comfortable with at the moment. Probably because you never had any doubts about the fact he wasn’t overly fond of you.

When classes had ended for the day, you realized that you would need to walk home with Mammon. But after a full day of perfecting your “nice” smile, and mastering how to behave “politely” without taking things personally, you felt better prepared to handle it than you had that morning. Mammon seemed nervous, blushing and fidgeting most of the way. Any other day, you would have asked him what was wrong, but now you were committed to keeping your distance so you ignored him.

Once you arrived back at the House of Lamentation, however, he finally started talking to you before you had a chance to hide away in your room again.

“Uhh...about last night...I…”

“It’s fine, Mammon,” you said, smiling your best, bright smile, “I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“That’s...I was jus’ surprised is all…”

“Then I’m sorry for surprising you.”

“So umm...do you wanna...try again...maybe…?”

For the briefest moment, your smile faltered. You were quick to correct it, but of course Mammon noticed that split second of hesitation before you answered.

“No thank you. It was nice of you to offer though. But I don’t think I’ll be going to movie night anymore, so you really don’t have to worry about me.”

“Huh? That’s not what I was...this wasn’t about the movie…!”

You gave Mammon another perfect, reassuring smile before leaving him in the entryway, flustered beyond belief at what just happened. He could understand that you might not have known what he was asking right away, but to say you didn’t want to go to movie night at all? That seemed like a bit of an overreaction. Not to mention the fact that the entire conversation just seemed...weird. You were smiling too much for one thing, and he really didn’t like it. He enjoyed making you smile, but this just wasn’t right.

And he couldn’t just let that go.

No sooner had you sat down at the table in your room to begin on your assignments, than the door was flung open as Mammon barged in. You stared at him, stunned, unable to grasp why he had followed you to your room. When he saw you looking at him, he once again got flustered, but was quick to recover this time - he was on a mission.

“Look I know I yelled at ya and all, but that ain’t a reason to skip movie night. Who's gonna feed Beel? Or make sure Levi doesn’t put on those weird anime movies with the tentacles and shit?”

“I’m sure you’ll manage. You had to have worked things out somehow before I arrived. You don’t need to try to include me,” you replied, turning your back to Mammon so you could focus on your work.

“Movie night was your idea! Ya can’t just quit!”

“I said it’s fine,” you could feel your frustration building in your chest. You had wanted to do this peacefully, but Mammon was so stubborn, more stubborn than you had anticipated given his reaction to you yesterday.

“It ain’t fine!”

“Leave it alone, Mammon,” you snapped, stopping what you were doing as you tried to calm yourself down again. You weren’t going to let him get to you. He’d wear himself out and lose interest eventually. You just needed to be patient until he realized he didn’t have to entertain you anymore.

“How can I leave it alone? I’ve said worse stuff to ya before and you haven’t acted like this.”

“I know when I’m not wanted. It’s fine.”

You weren’t about to open up and confide in him all your worries and fears. Even if he was asking out of politeness, you knew he wouldn’t really want to hear about that stuff anyways. He barely tolerated your physical presence, there wasn’t any way he’d want to be burdened with your emotional baggage too.

Mammon was silent for a while after that. He didn’t know what to say, or how to explain. He knew he had fucked up. Badly. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you next to him. He did. More than he’d care to admit. Which was actually part of the problem. He didn’t want to admit he cared. Because admitting he cared would mean you could reject him. If you weren’t aware of his feelings, then you would just be stuck with him, and that was good enough for him. It had to be.

At least it had been up until now. Now, Mammon feared if he didn’t say something, anything, he’d lose any chance at ever talking to you again.

“...I wanted ya there…” he finally whispered, so quietly you almost didn’t hear it.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yeah I do!” he said, much louder than he had spoken before. Couldn’t you tell he was trying to say that he liked you? That he enjoyed your company? Did you really have to argue with him about it?

“...whatever,” you said with a sigh as you began to open your school books.

“Hey! Listen to me will ya!? I’m trying to say I like you!”

You flinched at Mammon’s sudden declaration.

“And you expect me to believe that?” you replied, your tone laced with venom. You knew what was coming next - his inevitable backpedaling that he always did. Where he made excuses and belittled you and made sure to crush any hope you may have had that he actually liked you in any capacity because the idea of anyone thinking he actually had a soft spot for you was apparently absolutely appalling.

“Why wouldn’t you?! You should feel honored and…!”

“Why wouldn’t I?? Seriously?? You’re asking me that?”

You turned in your seat to glare at Mammon, angry tears gathering at the corners of your eyes. Did he seriously think so little of you that he just expected you to believe whatever you told him?

“I dunno Mammon, maybe it’s because ever since I got here you made a point to remind me what a burden I am and how much trouble I cause. Maybe it’s because you constantly dump me on your brothers to avoid your responsibilities. Maybe it’s because every time I try to be nice to you, you push me away and make me feel stupid for even trying. But hey, what do I know? I’m just the dumb human, right?”

By now your tears had started to fall, but you couldn’t even be bothered to dry them. You finally had the chance to get everything off your chest that had been building since you were dragged down to the Devildom and you didn’t feel like stopping anytime soon. Your rational thoughts had long since flown, and all that was left was your extremely hurt, angry, emotional self that was bound and determined to make sure Mammon knew just how much pain he had caused you.

Mammon, for his part, was completely dumbfounded. Personally, he thought he had been doing alright trying to get to know you. He wasn’t used to people actually being nice to him for one thing, so he was always so suspicious whenever you were.

But what he hadn’t realized though, was how genuine all your advances had been, and how much he had hurt you in trying to protect himself.

“I-I-I…”

“I’m not the sort of person anyone likes. I know that. So whatever joke it is you’re trying to pull, just stop it already!”

“I ain’t messin’ around!”

“What are you not understanding here??” you yelled, slamming your hands down on your desk as you stood up to face Mammon, “I don’t connect with people. I’m never the one that gets picked. So just stop it ok?! I don’t know what Lucifer threatened you with…”

“He didn’t threaten me with anything!”

“Oh please, like you actually want to spend any time with me.”

“Of course I do! That’s what I’ve been tryin’ to tell ya!”

“...you don’t mean that. No one ever means that.” You crossed your arms, hugging yourself tightly, averting your gaze. Your anger had started to fade and all that was left was an overwhelming sense of sadness.

“Why do ya keep saying that?”

“Because it’s true. It’s just what happens. Whatever it is that lets people make friends, I don’t have it. I always think I do, but it never works out. So why would this time be any different? I just...I can’t do this again.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because I love you!” you shouted, having finally reached the end of your patience with Mammon’s endless questions. This wasn’t how you had wanted to tell him. But you didn’t know what else to say at this point because nothing else seemed to be getting through to him.

Cautiously, Mammon took a step forward. Then another. Until he was standing right in front of you. You kept your eyes trained on the ground, refusing to look up. You didn’t want to see the look on his face. Not after you had just confessed to him. It had been bad enough when he yelled at you for holding his hand, and you were sure seeing him now would kill you.

But, Mammon didn’t force the issue. Instead, he slowly reached out for your hands, carefully twining your fingers together as he lowered his head to rest it against yours.

“...do ya mean that?”

“Of course I do,” you mumbled, “But it doesn’t matter. It never matters. I’m not good at this stuff.” You rubbed your fingers over Mammon’s hands, playing with his rings as you tried to distract yourself from the conversation you were having. Your heart was hammering in your chest, and you were so nervous you couldn’t stand it. It almost didn’t seem real to you, to have him standing so close to you, willingly touching you. Perhaps that’s why you weren’t shying away from being honest about your feelings and why you were letting yourself touch him like you were. If it was all only a dream, it didn’t matter anyways.

“It matters to me...I like ya too. A whole lot. And...I’m sorry for makin’ ya feel anything different. It’s just…” Mammon hesitated. This was the most honest he had been with another being in centuries, and his instincts to pull away and run were still strong. But you had been honest with him, and after all the hurt he caused you, it was probably the absolute least he could do.

“It’s just...I know how it feels. Ta not be wanted. And I uh...didn’t trust ya at first. I thought...you would be like my brothers and were just mocking me…”

That last sentence made your heart ache and you lifted your head slowly to look at Mammon. His eyes were closed now, but you could see the tears gathering at the corners and the dampness of his lashes. It was clear to you then that these were his true feelings, and not something he was sharing easily. Without a word, you released his hands, slipping your arms around his waist to pull him into a hug. He flinched at the sudden contact, but didn’t waste any time returning the gesture, wrapping his arms around you and hiding his face in your shoulder.

“I’d never do that,” you replied.

“Well yeah, I know that now.”

“I think you’re amazing, you know? I always have fun with you. And I like spending time with you. When you’re not acting like I’m the plague,” you teased, turning your head slightly to catch a glimpse of Mammon’s face and the faintest hint of a smile that tugged at his lips.

“S’rry. I think yer pretty amazing too. You put up with me an’ my brothers for starters.”

You laughed softly at his reply, feeling his arms tighten around you as he hugged you closer.

“Do you umm...wanna watch a movie…?” Mammon asked, hopeful that you’d take him up on the offer so he’d have a good reason for staying with you a little longer.

“Yeah, we can do that. I didn’t get to finish the movie from the other night.”

You pulled away from Mammon to grab your laptop from beside your bed, before climbing into it and making yourself comfortable. When you looked up, Mammon was still standing awkwardly in the middle of the floor, blushing furiously.

“Oh. Do you not want to sit here? Sorry! We can…” you started to ramble, terrified you had made him uncomfortable again and already messed up everything that you had just seemed to fix.

“No! It’s uh...not that...umm…” Mammon said, moving to sit on the edge of your bed, “Do you umm...wanna try...ya know...holding hands…?”

You blinked a few times as you processed Mammon’s request, staring at his outstretched hand that he was offering to you. Was this what he had been trying to ask you about after school…?

“I mean! It’s fine if ya don’t want to!”

“Wait!” you grabbed his hand quickly, before he had the opportunity to pull it back, “I’d like that. A lot,” you said, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment, “Can I ask you something?” Mammon nodded as he scooted back onto the bed so that he could sit next to you, “Is this umm, what you were trying to ask me about earlier? When we first got back?”

“Yeah,” now sitting comfortably beside you, he adjusted his grip on your hand, lacing your fingers together and allowing you to snuggle up next to him and rest your head on his shoulder. He was nervous at having you so close, but at the same time, he didn’t think he had ever felt more relaxed. There was a certain comfort in knowing that you felt the same way towards him and weren’t going to chase him off for wanting to be near you. He still had a long way to go in the “open and honest” department, but at least with you he didn’t have to hide his feelings any longer.

As the movie played, Mammon found himself struggling to concentrate. You had said a lot of things earlier when you had been so upset that he hadn’t been sure what you meant, or how he was supposed to respond. One thought in particular kept echoing in his mind that he really felt like he needed to address - that you didn’t feel wanted.

“Hey, do you umm, think we could talk?” he finally asked. You paused the movie and closed your laptop, nervous to hear what he had to say.

“Sure,” you replied meekly and Mammon gave your hand what he hoped would be a reassuring squeeze.

“I guess I just want to make sure you know that I want ya around. I know I can be a bit of an idiot at times and don’t always think things through...but that’s how I feel. And I know my brothers feel the same too.”

“Thank you. For telling me.” You could feel your throat tightening and you knew you were probably close to tears again, as if you hadn’t already cried enough today.

“And I’m gonna prove it to ya, you know? The Great Mammon’s gonna show ya just how special you are.”

A small smile spread across your face as you snuggled closer to Mammon. He nudged you gently with his elbow, which only made your smile broaden, and you nudged him in return, causing him to laugh. It didn’t take long for a full on tickle fight to erupt, which only stopped when Mammon had managed to successfully pin you to the mattress. Realizing the position he was in made Mammon’s face flush, but he didn’t move, and you simply looped your arms around his neck holding him in place with a hug. He carefully lowered his body so he could wrap you up in a hug of his own, as you buried your face into the crook of his neck.

You had been so certain earlier that you’d never get a chance to have a moment like this with him. And part of you feared if you were to let him go, he’d leave for good. But no matter how tightly you held him, Mammon held you just as tight. He too had been waiting for this for a long time and wasn’t about to let you go any sooner than necessary.

—————

The following morning, Mammon was already gone by the time you woke up. The realization stung, but you tried to focus on the positives and pushed those thoughts aside, determined not to let yourself jump to the worst case scenario before you had even eaten your breakfast. You quickly got yourself ready, and made your way downstairs, taking your usual seat at the table. Mammon had yet to make an appearance, so you focused on your food, anxiously waiting for him to join you.

When you heard the dining room doors open, you quickly snapped your head up, smiling as Mammon made his way into the room. He locked eyes with you, grinning, but as soon as he noticed that his brothers were also watching him, he averted his gaze and your heart shattered.

Of course, you thought, how could you have forgotten? Just because he admitted to liking you in private didn’t actually mean he would treat you any differently. The thought made your stomach churn, and you had to fight the urge to dash from the room, choosing instead to return your attention to the food on your plate. This was going to be so much worse now that you knew he was aware of your feelings, you thought, blinking back tears.

Shit.

Mammon had reflexively looked away from you for the briefest of moments when he had become aware of his brothers staring. But almost immediately he had stopped himself and looked back at you to offer you a smile. It hadn’t been quick enough though, and he only caught sight of your face as it fell and you attempted to hide your disappointment. He really hadn’t meant to hurt you. Especially not so soon after the two of you had finally opened up to each other.

And now what was he supposed to do?

Well, there really was only one thing he could think of - Make ‘em jealous.

Taking a deep breath, Mammon walked to his seat, nudging his chair over until it was right next to yours, before finally sitting down. You looked up at him, stunned and confused, and he flashed you his usual cocky grin, which only made your heart leap in your throat. Just what was going on? you wondered.

“Ooo Mammon, you’re sitting awfully close today,” Asmodeus teased.

“What’s it to ya, Asmo? Ya jealous?” Mammon, quipped back as he started serving himself some breakfast. He could feel you staring as you struggled to wrap your head around what was happening, and he smirked, shooting you a sideways glance.

“It’s just not fair that you keep hogging them all to yourself. The rest of us should get a chance to sit next to them too.”

“Enough. It’s too early in the morning for this sort of nonsense,” said Lucifer, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You know, dear brother, you’re going to get horrible wrinkles if you don’t get more rest,” replied Asmo, shifting his attention to Lucifer.

Mammon turned to look at you, not at all surprised to see that you were still staring at him in shock. He looked down at your lap, and you followed his gaze as he opened his right hand, palm up, and offered it to you. You stared at it for a few moments, before finally sliding your hand into his. You looked up at him again, only to find that his cheeks were now a very deep shade of red, one that spread all the way to the tips of his ears. He was clearly not prepared for how...different...it was going to feel to hold your hand when surrounded by his brothers, and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

He was quick to turn his attention to his breakfast, and you did the same, occasionally sneaking glances at Mammon as you ate. Mammon could feel your eyes on him, and while mildly embarrassing, also made him ridiculously happy. Up until yesterday he had been so afraid of making a move in your direction, he hadn’t even stopped to think of the possibility of you actually accepting him. And now that he was holding your hand, he was determined to never let it go.

[caffeineghostie]

𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: angst/comfort, talk of failed exams, reader has anxiety

Summary: Reader gets discouraged after failing an exam. Luckily Bucky is there to pick up the pieces. 

A/N: this is purely self indulgent and (unfortunately) based on a true story. I wish I had Bucky to cheer me up like this :)

I'm on mobile so formatting is shitty af, but I'm gonna get it fixed tomorrow after my exam!

Enjoy!

Taglist

Masterlist

ding!

You opened your eyes, rolling on one side to check your phone, the latest notification informing you that the results of your last exam had just been published.

Oh shit.

Not wanting to wake your boyfriend up, you get out of bed, directed to the kitchen, taking a blanket with you.

The light coming from your laptop is the only source of brightness in the room, as you type your password in, logging into your account and you click on the results file.

A long list of codes greets you, each with their respective marks, and you look for yours, your heart thumping in your chest.

"Where is it?" you wonder, frantically repeating your ID number in mind, eyes checking the list over and over again, hoping to see the familiar number.

Then you realize. It's not there. You failed the exam.

Again.

You feel lightheaded, and your ears start ringing. This was an important exam, and you had already taken it multiple times, failing Every. Single. Time. Normally you'd have three tries per year, but this was the last one, and now you failed at your last chance.

Delusion washes over you, a heavy boulder sitting on your chest. Tears start pricking your eyes, threatening to spill on your face. Your sweat turns cold, so you swaddle yourself more in your blanket.

Failing this exam means you won't be able to graduate this year, and then having to wait four months in order to try it again. Months in which you are completely helpless.

How could have this happened? You had studied for weeks in order to pass, staying up at night, memorizing French grammar and verb conjugations, and you were confident you finally made it. How could you have been so stupid? It was an easy subject, and most of your colleagues had passed it with no problems.

The tiny little voice in your head was shouting at you, telling you that you were dumb, and that you could never make it, and that you should leave your studies as soon as possible. There's no use in wasting money like this.

Your mind was racing, lost in these thoughts, and you didn't notice that Bucky had entered the room, and was behind you.

"Y/N?" he calls, turning the lights on. "Baby, what are you doing up?"

His voice startled you, and you try your best to dry the tears that were streaming down your face, but he was faster and was now standing in front of you. As soon as he sees your tears, he rushes over to you.

"Hey, hey, honey, what's going on?" worry fills his sleepy voice.

"I failed it" you croak out. "The exam. I f-failed." you start sobbing again, and Bucky is quick to hug you, engulfing you in his arms.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," he coos "I know this was important to you"

"It's just that…" you talk despite the lump in your throat "I was sure I'd pass it, and now I feel so stupid" you put particular emphasis on the last word, your voice cracking up.

"Baby, no, don't say that. Don't talk about you like this. You are one of the most intelligent people I know." he declares, placing one hand under your chin, making you look at him.

"I'm so, so proud of you. I'm proud of you because you tried. And you keep trying every day." his words make you tear up more. Guilt bubbles up in your chest.

"But I'm so tired of trying, Bucky!" you move away from his embrace, sniffling into the blanket.

"I have tried so much, and I can't take it anymore. I try and I keep failing every time. I feel like I don't deserve to be in a university because I am just wasting money it I can't get my degree. Everybody else is going on flawlessly, and I feel like I'm stuck." Your words echo in the kitchen, silence now enveloping both of you.

"Doll, I'm sorry that you feel like this. But you have to give yourself a break. You failed this exam. So what? You can try again next time. There's always a next time. And what if you graduate late? You're still going to get that degree. Comparing yourself to others is never good, because everyone struggles with different things. Trust me, I know," he smiles at you. "I say, keep trying, and in the end it's gonna be so worth it."

"You really think so?" you ask, hopeful.

"Yes, because I know you, I know how stubborn you are, and I know you're gonna make it. I'm so proud of you, honey." he repeats. Bucky approaches you again, putting one hand on your cheek and wiping a tear away with his thumb.

"If you need to take a break, you can take some time off. Your mental health is more important than any exam. And I can be your study buddy or whatever they're called. Either way, I'm going to be with you every step of the way."

"Do you seriously want to help me memorize the correct orthography of every single French word?" you giggle, raising your eyebrows.

"Sure, if that helps you then yes." he promises.

"Now, let's go back to bed, and we can plan out our attack plan tomorrow." Kissing you on your forehead, you both start making your way back to your bedroom.

Nothing can bring you down if you have Bucky on your side, nothing.